#i just have so many feelings about their friendship

[egregiousderp]

I’d love to see what your class has to say, yeah!

I was honestly just delighted with the tags and ready to wave around Cs Lewis’ Allegory of Love. I feel like people know his Christian Stuff and his stories but really gloss over some of the fun stuff he did about medieval chivalry. (It’s actually probably closer to kink or misassumptions people have about kink? Insofar as it’s all about showing your obedience to your lord by having his wife issue orders at you that you obey without question? Which makes The Green Knight all the more interesting. But is that duty or is it love? Similarly, certain ancient treaties for Vassal States use words for Love between the conquering, presumably protective, nation, and the under-city.

“Love” and “Friendship” do indeed have nebulous inter-mixing in the Ace/Aro spec lens. We use “Love” for so many things, and sometimes slap “Friendship” on aggressive mutual desire manipulations.

[guy who is aromantic voice] sexual attraction just makes more sense than romantic attraction. like ok, you want to fuck someone. this is quantifiable. it is quite easy to grasp what "i want to fuck someone" looks like, even if you have no idea what it feels like. romantic attraction, though? this is a nebulous construct which seems to largely be "glorified friendship with sex" in the popular imagination. what even is the difference between friendship and romance? the line between friendship and sexual attraction, though both can coexist, is that when there's sexual attraction present, you want to fuck someone. the line between friendship and romantic attraction, so far as i can perceive it within a heteronormative, amatonormative framework, is that it is... friendship where you want to fuck someone. what?

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations ~ 47

Aries suns are super immmature in relationships. I’ve seen so many cases where they just keep ppl around for the attention they receive (men & women). Then they’ll drop you when they find someone else that gives them that spark. They can get turned off super fast or get the “ick” quickly.

Venus conjunct ascendant in synastry really only benefits the ascendant person. Honestly it can go either way but most of the time I see Venus usually really adores and is super attracted to the ascendant person & the ascendant person is kinda meh with the Venus. The Venus person can make the ascendant feel like the most beautiful person in the world. Usually gives them a big ego boost. The ascendant in this scenario is usually the more receptive one. I see this aspect works best when the man is the Venus & the woman is the ascendant person. The ascendant person will feel like a princess when near Venus😍.

Capricorn moons grew up having to earn everything they should’ve been given naturally ( ex: if you asked ur parents for money they expected it to be paid back, having to earn emotional and material comfort). They usually grew up the opposite of being spoiled which is why they have a tendency to spoil the ppl they love once they get older especially their children. Gift giving could be their love language because they lacked a lot of material possessions growing up. People relied on them too much as a kid, they had to grow up wayyy to fast 🙁

On the other hand Leo moons and Cancer moons were usually spoiled to death by their parents. Their parents could’ve smothered them too much causing codependency issues as they aged. Usually the babies of the family or the youngest.

Scorpio & Pisces moons usually have severe mommy issues (cancer moons too sometimes but they can either be super close/ be best friends with their mom or were super traumatized and neglected by them).

Mars in Taurus would rather cut their arms off with a butter knife than admit they were wrong.

Aries sun & Aries Venus women tend to be the “man” of their romantic relationships (especially mixed with Capricorn) because of this they can attract a lot of needy and leechy partners.

If a Venus in Capricorn loves you they’ll buy you the moon if they can afford it. These people TAKE CARE OF YOU! Usually super loyal as well once they have feelings for you. Probably one of the most solid Venus signs.

Cap risings grew up more mature than others young but can become more immature as they age.

Saturn in the 7th house people are always dating people that are like 20 years older than them lol.

Aqua suns I notice can fall into addictive patterns earlier than most & are most likely to experiment with substances. When I check other ids at the store I work at the people who buy alcohol or cigarettes everyday all had Aqua suns it’s actually wild.

Aqua moons have this natural glow in their appearance that’s so hypnotizing. (Ex; Marilyn Monroe & Billie Eilish) they are the definition of ethereal.

Moon in Taurus people are so bossy and controlling when underdeveloped. This trait can be why it’s difficult for them to form close friendships. They have a tendency to rub ppl the wrong way.

Venus in retrograde folks lack social etiquette. Many people see them as rude or emotionless because of this. They are the types where if you smile and say hi they will stare at you with a blank expression and say nothing back. They don’t mean it tho they can just have issues with social awkwardness/shyness. Could feel like expressing their affectionate side is awkward. I notice their affection is either severely lacking or really overbearing no in between.

Scorpio suns are not big family people I notice. They will ghost the shit out of their family for years or just be super secretive with them in general.. most of the time people in their family know nothing about them.

May Taurus’s tend to be big bullies/haters when underdeveloped

Aries mars are some of the best athletes (especially in the 8th house!!!)

On the other hand Pisces mars are usually really bad at sports. Could be the types who refused to participate in gym lol. They are more talented in artistic sports like dance

Mars in aquas are more likely to make a career outta something illegal. They are usually really bad with authority.

Cap sun women I notice like to make others pay for them. They can have big entitlement issues & hate spending their own money.

Aries moon women are not for the weak. It takes a really strong person to tame them. (Especially with Scorpio or Capricorn in their chart as well)

Libra suns with a Scorpio Venus can super promiscuous. Can have a lot of bodies at a really early age (even if they are virgins ppl can make assume they have a lot of bodies bc of their provocative flirty natures). Super charming they can really pull anyone they want even if they aren’t seen as conventionally attractive.

Scorpio Venus men usually fall in love hard with women that kinda scare them. Like they become OBSESSED. They have a thing for danger.

Pisces sun Scorpio moon men are the worst people to date. I hear so many horror stories from this sun moon combo😭 ( also Aries Sun Scorpio moon)

Venus in Taurus people can’t move on from their exes for the life of them. They can be in a 5+ year relationship and still keep their exes on the side lines “just in case”.

On the other hand Venus in Aquas will dump you so fast once that soft spot they have for you is gone. They will walk by you like they never seen you in their life. Their cut off game is CRAZY.

Gemini risings cannot keep a secret for the life of them. Don’t tell these people anything personal unless you want everyone all your friends and family and the whole continent of Africa to know😭

Moon in the 3rd house people are usually the favorite cousin/sibling in the family. Could be the person their siblings send cousins go to for advice all the time.

Venus in Libras can force people to stay in relationships with them if underdeveloped. They can be very overbearing when insecure and force relationships with ppl that neither of them are really ready for. Can have huge boundary issues. I’ve seen this more in women than men.

Pisces Venus people prefer situationships over actual committed relationships. They struggle to stay in relationships when the honey moon phase wears off. They have a low tolerance people when they don’t act the way the expect them to in their fantasies. Can be very unrealistic in love and can expect a lot from their lovers.

Moon in 7th house ppl tend to copy/ mimic their partners behaviors a lot. Or just ppl they like in general. (Ex; start using their slang, or copying the way the speak of dress).

Venus in 2nd house people can be amazing voice actors.

A lot of planets in the 2nd house can show someone who’s able to change their voice easily or be able to copy multiple accents. Their voice usually stands out in some type of way.

Because of Scorpio moons secretive nature they can come across as having no personality or being super boring. (Mostly speaking on the men here the women are actually super interesting). The men I notice also get emotionally triggered by the most minor shit. They act like they are really nonchalant but are real life crash outs. Their nonchalance can also sabotage a lot of relationships that could’ve had the potential to be great but their pride and inability to show a softer side to themselves can completely turn off partners.

[suiana]

yandere! officer who holds a rather high rank in the military. he's proud of it too! i mean, it's the 1800s. how many men do you know that hold the rank of an an officer? and a high ranked one too at that! not many, that's for sure.

yandere! officer who's ALSO your childhood friend. how convenient is that, huh? you would hate it if he was also your fiancé, huh? 😂😂😂 i mean, what an absolute COINCIDENCE that would be... oh yeah, did i mention he was the one who proposed marriage? not your father, not his father. him.

"father, must i really get married to him? he's just my friend!" yet, your words fall on deaf ears as your father merely lets out a sigh and shakes his head. damn it, there's no getting through to him. it's like he's already made up his mind. "I've already told you, he's a good man to marry. you should be happy that such a noble man wants you." yeah, noble status. that's all there is, huh? it's not like you can say anything though. you're just the child of a small no name noble, who are you to reject someone who's highly respected in the military? but hey, at the very least it's your childhood friend that you're close with. you're sure that he just wants your friendship out of this. it's not like he's madly in love with you or anything...

yandere! officer who's definitely in love with you. you don't even have to be a genius to know that, just looking at him will tell anyone and everyone that he's madly enamoured. and as always, everyone but you knows it.

"you love me?" your breath hitches, eyes widening as you feel a warm flush creep up your cheeks. no way... he... likes you? your childhood best friend who's been showing obvious signs of a crush ever since the two of you were kids? "yes... i would think that was obvious by now." his words are flat, face deadpanning at you. despite the exasperation in his tone, his eyes are soft and the corner of his lips are upturned. "you are the only one in my heart, mein leibling."

yandere! officer that has a different side he shows to others and one reserved specifically for you. he only ever bears his heart and soul to you, his future spouse. he could care less for others, you come first and foremost. sure he might have pledged allegiance to the nation but you're his one and only. he'd betray the country if it's for you, throw away everything he's worked for just to make you happy.

yandere! officer who has discovered your... apreciation for his uniform. he finds it interesting to say the least. oh, so you think he looks attractive? he doesn't get what's so good looking about his uniform but he'll gladly wear it more often if you like it so much.

"schatz, i need to change out of my uniform-" "just give me a minute..." your fiancé could only look down in silence as you stared intensely at his attire. you're doing it again. he doesn't even know what you're doing, just staring at his uniform with your pretty eyes and serious expression. he thinks you're appreciating him but he's not quite sure. you never say anything after all. all you do is simply stare quietly. you don't even as much as touch him! "you can... touch, y'know? you don't need to just stare." he sure hopes you do. what he'd give to feel your hands on him... and he's pretty sure you want to touch him too. or maybe you want him to touch you? "can i?" "of course you can. we are to be married anyway." "nah... i think I'll just... look..." man. looks like he's going to be just standing here for a while, huh? oh well, as long as you're happy. it's not like he has anything better to do anyway.

[thelostgirl21]

I don't know if this is going to be any comfort, but I think most Canadians see the American population as fellow victims in this whole situation.

Besides those of us that have also fallen prey to far right ideologies, there's this sense of awareness that Trump manipulated his way into power and is making decisions that are going against his people's best interests.

A lot of you have more or less been taken hostage by a fascist leader that is furthering his own egomaniac agenda without any empathy whatsoever for the suffering he is inflicting, and it's utterly horrifying!

And what's absolutely heartbreaking is that many of his "followers" are either aware of what's happening, but too scared of repercussions to take a stand and criticise him (and it's hard to blame them for being scared); or they genuinely worship him and believe in him the same way as people will follow and worship cult leaders.

And, in those situations, the only hope you have is basically for the victims of his manipulations to finally wake up and fight back themselves.

Because we can't do it.

We are a population of 40 million vs an American population of 335 million.

We can't just walk in there saying "we've come to liberate you from a fascist President that's threatening the lives and safety of trans children, disabled people, illegal immigrants, threatening to cripple your economy, etc." when a huge chunk of the American people would fight back and die for him!

And Trump was "democratically elected" by the people that he is now abusing. So, despite how disgusted and sick some of us may feel over the ICE raids (for example), we can't really stop what's happening in the USA from happening.

I think a lot of us feel a profound sense of sorrow and powerlessness in this whole situation, rather than a sense of being betrayed by the American people themselves.

And it could have been us. It could still be us. Actually, what's happening to Americans right now might save us from falling into the same trap as you did in our upcoming elections.

Because there's been a very troubling increase in hate crimes targeting sexual orientation (they've increased by 388% between 2016 and 2023, and a fucking 69% between 2022 and 2023 alone!) in Canada, and Pierre Pollièvre (leader of our Conservative party) had been more or less importing a "softer and more politically correct" version of Trump's rhetorrics into Canadian politics as well.

If enough Canadians get pissed at Trump, they might rally behind a leader that is the polar opposite of what he represents, giving someone like Mark Carney (that might take the leadership of the Liberal Party from Trudeau in March) a fighting chance against Pollièvre.

We might end up "owing you", in a very awful and twisted way, because you gave us a reason to try to come together as a country to attempt to find solutions against a common threat.

Yes, I can't deny the friendship dynamic might change a bit... Because, I don't know if people realise this, but we actually did put some measures in place that were meant to keep USA and Canada heavily reliant on each other to avoid such conflicts, and force us to continue to "play nice" with each other.

Ex: Canada produces the crude oil, the USA refineries refine it into a usable product, and then part of it is sold and sent back to us via pipelines that travel under both Canadian and American soil.

That's actually one of the benefits of global trade - the lack of self-sufficiency forcing you to care about your trade partner's own needs and interests as well.

Therefore Trump's willingness to threaten our economy in an effort to forcefully assimilate us as the 51st State is obviously making us go "Yeah, maybe we should try to diversify our trading partnership a bit more, and be a TAD LESS RELIANT on the USA in the future. We should definitely continue to make new friends out there, and expand our market a bit..."

But it's not necessarily a bad thing for both countries (there can be significant advantages on having more trading partners on both sides), nor something that should be taken as personal.

Because, again, it could have been us. The Canadian and American people can still see each other as brothers and sisters in a post-Trump era while understanding that all it takes is an abusive step-father to suddenly take advantage of people's fears and vulnerabilities to threaten the fragile economical balance between our two countries.

I currently support retaliatory tariffs and trying to avoid buying any American product for which we can find a Canadian equivalent in Canada, because well, first, if American consumers can no longer afford to buy Canadian products, because they cost 25% more than the price we're selling it to them, we'll need to buy as much of our own stuff as we can.

And, second, we do need some of the American people to wake up, and realize that the "illegal criminal immigrants" and the "child grooming trans and LGBTQ+ people" won't be Trump's only victims during his presidency!

As long as a problem doesn't personally affect or threaten them, some people have a tendency to sit back, stay silent, and close their eyes on the horrors happening around them.

But Trump promised the American people that the price of groceries and the general cost of living would go down, that it would be an easy fix, and that the tariffs imposed on international imports would not increase the price of the products they are paying.

He lied. About this, and about so much more!

I believe that the Canadian people are still very much ready and willing to support the American people and fight by their side, though.

But right now, you are fighting against your own selves, and lashing out while being unable to tell friends from foes.

We won't let ourselves be attacked without putting up some solid boundaries and opposing those measures from President Trump. But the idea that, because of this, American people will be economically suffering and struggling more - including all of those that did not vote for him and attempted to sound the alarm - is utterly heartbreaking for us.

We're not even going "Well, if President Trump has decided to hit our economy and make the Canadian people suffer, we'll make sure the American people will be suffering alongside us, too!"

We do not wish Americans any harm. We've been thrown into a senseless situation, are trying to limit the impact of the blows we are receiving, and standing up to a powerful bully as best we can!

While also vaguely hoping that those of you getting hit with us will realize that both the Canadian and American people are sharing a common enemy right now, and he's the fucking President of your own country!

The vibe I get from most Canadians is that we still do love you, but fuck do we hate HIM!

You did elect him, but he manipulated his way into power and took advantage of your fears and vulnerabilities. And a lot of us are very much aware of that.

To be clear I don't want a trade war with Mexico (or even China)

but Trump breaking our relationship with Canada, Canada, our ever friendly, dependable, helpful brothers to the north, is particularly hurtful. It feels like an abusive step-father banning you from a favorite cousin's house because they want to isolate you to keep beating you. It's painful and heart breaking and your cousin keeps asking you to explain and you can't.

sorry Canada, I didn't vote for him, I campaigned against him hard, but a bunch of idiots voted to blow up everything and hurt everyone so do what you have to do, maybe if you inflict maximum pain some people will wake up.

and to Americans reading this, I can't over stress we have FOREVER damaged our relationship with our neighbor, biggest trading partner, military and strategic ally, we fought WWII with them guys, and they are NEVER gonna look at us the same way again. We might repair the relationship in future but it'll never be as full a friendship as it was last month.

[trustmypoison]

Ateez confessing to their best friend

Requested? Yes!

Request: ‘‘Can you please do a headcannon of ateez confessing to their bestfriend that they have a crush on them?‘

Hongjoong

I think there would be an unspoken tension between you two that you’re afraid to address. When you think about it, there always has been. It’s something you dance around for a while until you just can’t. But you’re visiting him late in the studio one night and you both are looking at something together, sitting close, and then suddenly you’re kissing. When it’s time to come up for air, he feels quite a bit of confidence in saying, “I guess we should talk about that.” 

Seonghwa

He’s stunning and you’re not blind. Neither are a lot of other people. The thing is, he turns down people left and right. You don’t think anything about it at first, but when an idol that everyone chases after asks him out and he says, “Oh thank you, but I’m not interested,” you just have to ask. When you bring it up, he initially shrugs it off. When you ask if he’s already interested in someone, he flushes and says “It’s not important.” It’s only after a little arm-twisting that he finally admits he’s interested in you. He’d feel a lot of fear about this moment but would be so, so relieved if you returned his feelings. 

Yunho

You both already act like you’re dating so why are both of you surprised?? (I’m sorry, all I can see is the friends to lovers fic I wrote for him.) This sort of creeps up on him in a way that once he realizes how he’s always looking for and reaching for you, he can’t unsee it. I do think there would have to be an external force that would compel him to confess. Like if you were asked on a date by someone else and you asked his opinion, he would find himself saying, “I’d really rather you not.”

Yeosang

So fucking casual!! So casual in fact that it feels like it came out of left field. He just straight up asks you out and you have this horrible moment of confusion before the panic sets in, because you can’t ask something like that so casually after years of friendship!! But he does and he accepts that it’s a shock for you, but he really just wants to get it off of his chest. He’d totally go back to normal if you didn’t like him like that, but if you did? Not so casual anymore because the relief is obvious!! The casualness was totally fake!!

San

He’s so touchy that this is another one that to strangers you look like you’re dating. But the thing is, he’s touchy even when no one else is around. So imagine cuddling up to him on the couch and he goes in to kiss your cheek like he’s done a million times. Naturally (and stereotypically) you turn your head at just the right time that he ends up kissing the corner of your lips. He likes to see you flustered and acts like he doesn’t understand why. “That was a little close, don’t you think?” You’ll laugh nervously. He’ll shrug in a strong attempt to be casual and ask if that’s a bad thing. If you question if he actually would want to kiss you, he says, “Yes of course,” in an instant. 

Mingi

This is totally an overnight realization. One day, he wakes up and sees you that day and thinks, “Uh when did I become attracted to them??” His attitude will do a 180. He’s totally avoidant, and when he can’t avoid you he’s totally awkward. You actually think you might have done something wrong and one of the group members has to step in. The problem is that he’ll have let this go so long that you’re mad by the time he’s ready to talk. He has to confess and grovel. 

Wooyoung

He confesses so many times in so many ways and you really think he’s joking. It’s funny to him at first because he thinks you’re just a little dense. But over time, the confessions get increasingly more serious and you still aren’t getting it. This will be to the absolute delight of his members to watch him struggle with this. Eventually, he’ll reach a breaking point and just pull you into a kiss because it seems words just aren’t working. His head might explode when you ask, “Wait, are you into me???” and he’s just like, “Yes!!! I kept trying to tell you!!!”

Jongho

Another stereotypical moment, but bear with me. You have a bad partner that just isn’t treating you right and you’re upset for the millionth time. He’s almost scolding you when he says you shouldn’t put up with that sort of treatment and you can do worlds better. But you might be a little jaded that all relationships are like this. If you express this, he’ll just snap and say, “I wouldn’t be like that.” That’s most certainly something that he can’t back out of now. Not that he wants to because bitterness about watching you suffer in your current relationship has been building for a while and he has a lot to say. 

[v3lv3tsin]

moonstruck: nishimura riki

| pairning: nishimura riki x reader

I genre: prince!niki, princess!reader

I warnings: no warnings <3

I word count: 1.8k

I stefy's note: just a little something before i actually come back and post the last part of the jungwon series (i'm really sorry it took so long to write but i was busy with uni and some resits), so enjoy :)

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

If anyone would have asked what do you like about Niki, you would have said before that it was his smile, but now ever since getting to know him better that answer changed and so have you. His sense of humor, especially when having guest to entertain was what made you two get close to each other in the first place.

It was easy how it happened and since none of you planned for it to happen made it even more special. But your mother never approved of him, saying that he "wouldn't be a good enough suitor for you" nor a good husband from the way he was behaving.

He was known to be more of carefree than other princes were, but maybe that's what made you notice him. Or maybe it was the sly smile he always gave you whenever you'd meet.

What came to your surprise was that although your mother seemed to be very keen on keeping the two of you apart for as long as possible it didn't seem to work all the time. And this was the case for when Niki invited other distinguished guests, such as Mr. Yang, Mr. Park and Mr. Sim, alongside you. Obviously.

To your surprise, your mother seemed to have approved of the invitation long before you could've even proposed the idea to her. Meaning that you would be accompanied by your governess. Saying that you weren't excited even a bit to see him, was a lie in itself. There was no doubt that his father approved of the party to be held at their spring residence. You heard about the stories about the fountains and their respective tricks so being able to experience it sounded perfect already.

So that is how you and your governess, Claire, found yourselves waiting to be escorted into the gardens and fountains of the residence, by Niki and his father. It didn't take long to see Nikis smile widening as soon as he saw you waiting for him and his father to be able to welcome you properly, as if he didn't plan this whole party just to see you and hear your voice. Having to go to all the trouble of convincing his father that having his others friends coming to the party it would distract him from even talking to you in the first place.

Realizing they might be busy with the guests that would have to be arriving soon or they already arrived, the butler escorts you into the gardens with a small grin as if he knew that would happen when you would enter the garden area. As soon as you enter through the gates you're met with a slight splash of water coming from the statutes guarding the fountains at the center of the garden. Although the water didn't get too much on your dress as it wasn't a lot, it made you laugh just a little bit.

One thing is for sure that this was no ordinary party. And another thing that you realized was that water will be involved.

Before being able exit being hit by the water in the first place, you finally make eye contact with Niki, seeing that he was laughing too. Coming to greet and welcome you to their spring residence, were both him and his father. "Welcome to our little house, Mrs. Choi." Mr. Nishimura, Niki's father says on a modest tone, knowing that the residence wasn't close to being little.

"Thank you for inviting me." You smile happily, knowing how much of a fuss was for him and his son to be able to have this many guests in their private residence. Smiling at Niki before to his father, you're met with the news that lunch would be served soon, as one of the butlers came to announce Mr. Nishimura.

"I see that you've already met my son." His father feels the need to point out that your relationship with his son was far from a friendship from what he could grasp at first sight. Without wanting to have more of the awkward silence that seemed to be happening for some time now, his father voices on the same tone as before, making sure to let the two of you talk in peace. "Lunch will be served soon."

"I'm surprised your mother decided to let you come alone." Niki speaks on a teasing tone, thinking it was high time that he talks about most feared topic between the two of you. Your mother. It was true that his father agreed to plan the party and sent you an invitation, and not your mother, knowing that she would never let you come to it.

"She is busy with tonight's party." You answer him giving him barely any information about your plans for the night as you were missing your mother's party instead of being there to help her organize everything. "But you knew that very well." You continue on the same tone wanting to let him know that it was his idea this party, in the first place.

"I missed you." Niki blurs out while rubbing the back of his neck, in a whispery tone as he looks at you. It was true, he did. Ever since you spent more time together he couldn't take his mind off you as much as he tried.

"Lunch should be served soon." You answer by changing the topic, not wanting to talk to him about the feelings you have been developing for him lately. Or ever since you first met him at one of Mr. Yang's parties. Heading to the stunningly looking table, that seemed to made out of stone having around it shining stone seats. One interesting aspect about the stone seats was that they all seemed to have a hole in the middle of them. It did seem uncomfortable at first, but when you saw Niki sit down next you, all of it was gone.

Usually you would be the one to complain about how comfortable or not something was, but it seemed that this was not the case. Everyone around the table seemed to be enjoying themselves, you finally make eye contact with Niki's father who seemed to be in an intense conversation with his son while you were sharing your thoughts with one of Mr. Park's date. Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever you could feel something coming from the back of you.

Water. Splashes of water everywhere. Surrounding the whole table. From the front and from the back.

The delicious meal in front of you was not drenched in water and so were you. Not as much as you have except as the dress having so many layers managed to block some of the water coming from the chair you were sitting on.

"Gentlemen, i think it is better to enjoy the view somewhere else." Wearing a smirk on his face was now Mr. Nishimura, Nki's father who seemed to be enjoying the annoyed or the surprised faces of his guests. As much as you hated your mother for forbidding you to see Niki, there was one aspect that you two usually agree on.

Never, under no circumstance, piss of Mr. Nishimura. As charming as his son can be, the Nishimuras have always been known for getting their revenge, one way or another.

Getting up from your seat to follow Niki's father, who was now leading the way to what looked like to be a mechanical music-playing theatre. It was nothing you have seen before. While walking to the theatre you felt Niki's hand holding yours as the two of you followed his fathers lead. The place was beautiful to say the least, each statute had water coming from it in a peaceful manner. Some were showing scenes you have never seen before, such as a demon like face who had its tongue coming out, along with water coming out of its nose or two lovers walking together, hand in hand, in a forest.

Before you could see the theatre in its full glory, Niki whispered to you. "Come, i know a place when we'll be just fine." Just fine? Not being hit by the water again sounded perfectly so you followed him willingly. He surely knew more about the place than you, but knowing him he was surely planning something.

Sitting in front of a tower-like palace you could a court life, showing different professions, whether it is the building work-party, the daily workers who bring building materials to the foreman, who drinks, or the butchers slaughtering an ox, or the barber who shaves a man beneath his guild sign. The palace was surrounded by a three-storey building in a semicircle, partly giving a view into its interior.

Busy  activity  takes  place  on  the  street:  a  dancing  bear  performs, guards march past the Residence, a farmer pushes an old woman in a wheelbarrow  over  the  road.  Figures  from  the  Commedia  dell’arte  are also to be seen, and if one so wishes, one can discern the social status of the figures involved. The most noble move less and more slowly that the workers. 

Holding your waist from behind as you watched the now music-playing theatre was Niki, that was whispering to you new information about the palace-like theatre. "200 figurines, powered by water." It wasn't a lot of information, but thinking that these 200 figurines were moving by the help of water, was something innovative. Considering that the both of you sat pretty far in the back, for any of you to be able to see anything, you suggested moving forward to be able to watch the scene better.

Not long after the mechanical theatre stopped from Mr. Nishimuras signal, water started splashing again. Slower this time, but still a lot. Considering that you and Niki were far back, the water didn't get to you. That is when you decided to ask him, how or why did that happen. Seeing that your curiosity was peaked, Niki answers before you could open you mouth to even ask the question. "This spot is never wet. There's no water conduit here."

Taking your hand in his as his father was now leading the gentlemen to a church looking like building, Niki was leading you outside the beautiful garden. Trying to avoid the water coming from the different parts of them, he took your face in his hands and said on a loving whispery tone. "I waited so long to do this."

Before you could protest, his lips found yours and all seemed forgotten. Your mum not letting you see him again. Your governess having to accompany you to the party. The disapproving looks his father would give you from time to time.

All of it was gone.

© V3LV3TSIN — do not translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[acmeangel]

♡ You're a member of Levi's Squad, and he asks you to marry him, when disaster strikes.

♡ SFW ♡ Canon!Levi x Fem!Reader ♡ One shot, a bit angsty, mentions of blood, injury, near-death experience ♡ Word count: 3019 ♡ Summary: After finally accepting that you're there to stay, Levi asks you to marry him. You're a member of his Squad, and being with him has always felt right. Not too long after, a dangerous scouting mission leaves you with a grave injury, and Levi is faced with the fear that you might not make it.

When Levi asked you to marry him, it wasn’t with some extravagant proposal or planned-out, grand romantic evening.

You both were lying in your bed in the barracks, your body half-draped on top of his, your fingers lazily playing with strands of his hair. His hands grazed up and down your back with a steady, soothing tempo.

You’d both returned from a scouting mission earlier that day — one with too many casualties, as there always seemed to be. Levi had recruited you to be on his Special Operations Squad years ago, based purely on your stats from previous missions with other squads. At first, he had respected you, much like he’d respected all of the members of Squad Levi; a group of people willing to join the riskiest regiment and put their lives on the line in the futile hope to save humanity.

Respect had eventually turned into friendship, which had then grown into something more. You two loved each other long before your romantic relationship had begun; so when it finally did, it felt natural, like it was always supposed to be that way.

In your bed, that night, he looked at you with a tender softness that bordered on melancholic. It was a look that he didn’t show often. His eyes revealed how deeply he cared for you, how much he wanted to shield you — who he saw as one of the last few truly good things left in this world — from the cruelty, violence, and destruction that ran rampant around you. It was a look that no one else ever got to see.

“I want to run something by you,” he stated, his voice level and smooth as ever.

“Oh, do tell, Captain.” You laughed, faintly, your eyes sparkling with a glint of amusement.

His hand traced up your back and slid around your neck, his thumb rubbing gentle, affectionate circles onto your skin.

“How would you feel about the two of us being together, like this, forever?” he asked, his gaze locking onto yours, an unusual stiffness in his expression. You couldn’t believe it, but he was actually nervous.

You blinked once, twice and tilted your head. “Levi, are you asking… me to marry you?”

You weren’t entirely surprised that this was how he’d phrased it — he’d never been one for verbosity or overly sentimental language. He’d showed his love for you more in his actions; in the way he always checked you for injuries at least three times after a mission, in the way he’d stroke the back of your hand with his thumb when he held it as you fell asleep, in the way he’d insist on giving you half of his own breakfast every morning so you’d have enough energy for the day.

“Yes, Y/N,” he’d said, his hand shifting to cup your cheek, his soft gray eyes settling into yours. “I’m asking you to marry me.”

You felt all of the blood rush to your head, your entire body overwhelmed with excitement, joy, and love for Levi.

“Yes,” you managed to say — and repeated the single word at least twenty times, as you leaned in to press your lips to his, peppering him over and over with kisses.

“Alright, alright,” he’d mumbled after the twentieth kiss, his cheeks then flushed with a soft pink blush.

You beamed with joy as you pulled your face back from his, your eyes glimmering with adoration.

“So,” you began, a hint of playfulness in your voice, raising your eyebrow, “do I get a ring then, or what?”

His lips pressed together, his gaze narrowing just a bit as he considered the question, a puff of air escaping his nose.

“Fine.” His voice was a low, dry mumble, but his lips bent into a small smile, the tension in his forehead releasing. He couldn’t help but give into every one of your requests, no matter what.

His eyes scanned around the room, looking for something suitable, before he reached out to the bedside table, the muscles in his shoulders and back flexing as he took a paperclip from a stack of papers. Turning back to you, his fingers worked with precision to unravel the paper clip, the wire of which he used to form a nearly perfect circle. He took your hand, his touch gentle, and slid the makeshift paper clip ring onto your ring finger in one swift, delicate motion.

“How’s that?” His eyes studied your face, intently waiting for any sign of reaction. “Temporarily, anyway.”

Your cheeks blushed uncontrollably and you gleamed with a smile so wide it made the muscles in your face turn sore. Seeing you this way made him smile — a real smile.

“It’s perfect,” you’d whispered, practically choking the words out. “Much better than any stupid diamond I’ve ever seen.”

“Think we need to do the whole ceremony thing? Or can I just start calling you my wife now?” His brows scrunched together slightly as he waited for your answer, and you could tell how badly he wanted to skip the frills and formalities and simply be yours, eternally.

At the sound of the word ‘wife’ your chest swelled with affection, and your eyes became misty, blurring your vision of him.

“Screw the ceremony,” you whispered, your voice shaking with overflowing emotion. “We’re married, now.”

“Good,” he whispered back, his own voice fraught with feeling, as his thumbs brushed away the tears that had begun to roll down your cheeks. “I love you, Y/N. You know that.”

His eyes bore into yours, seeking confirmation. He didn’t say ‘I love you’ often, only when it really counted.

“I know,” you whispered. “I love you, too, Levi.”

******

It was only weeks after that — after the moment Levi decided, finally, that you would be by his side forever, that he knew you’d never leave him — that your squad was faced with a particularly dangerous mission.

It was another reconnaissance mission, much like all of the other Scouts’ missions had been, but no one could have anticipated the amount of Abnormals. The Scouts hadn’t reached a single objective before entire groups of Erwin’s formation had been wiped out by the Abnormals, which were making their way closer and closer to the center groups. Erwin had officially called for a retreat — something he rarely ever did, only when the situation was dire.

Levi Squad raced forward on horseback, galloping past the blurred, unidentifiable carnage of comrades; the once green fields had turned red and rotten.

Your gaze was fixated intently on Levi, catching glimpses of his profile as he led the squad forward — to anyone else, he looked entirely collected. But you knew him too well and had memorized all of his micro-expressions, and based on the tension in his jaw and the chilled intensity of his gaze, you knew he was worried, too. He’d often admitted that he never knew what the outcome of these missions would be, that no one did, and you could see his mind racing with that exact thought.

The pounding of impossibly large footsteps caused the ground to shake just slightly, enough to make your head whip around and see a group of Abnormals charging forward with unprecedented speed and force.

“Captain!” You’d called out, drawing Levi’s attention. He’d simply glanced over his shoulder and ordered to keep moving forward per Erwin’s command; based on the looks the rest of the squad exchanged, you knew they were unsure about this decision.

Before anyone could think or say another word, one of the Abnormals had surged forward and began to reach for Eld, whose blades were inexplicably jammed in his ODM gear. The panic in his eyes was enough to strike fear into anyone.

You sprung into action immediately — this was simply how you were. You never wasted time thinking, you only acted. It was reckless, perhaps, but you’d gotten results time and time again, and the thought of losing a friend without trying to save him was unacceptable to you.

This was one of the things Levi loved most about you, and it was also one of the things he wished so badly to change about you. He admired your selflessness, your fearlessness, the way you never seemed to be paralyzed by indecision. But, sometimes, it felt to him like only a matter of time before something terrible would happen to you.

You’d managed to sink a grappling hook into the Titan and propel yourself off of your horse, in the direction of Eld, knocking him out of the Titan’s path. You’d planned on being able to then reach the nape of the neck and put an end to this, but you were too rash, too impulsive to anticipate that the Titan’s next movement would whack your ODM wire to the side, bringing your body flinging through the air with it.

The rest, in your recollection, was more or less a blur. You knew that the Titan curled its fingers around your body, its grip bruising your skin and rendering you too immobile to fight back. You knew that you’d heard Levi yelling — actually yelling. You knew that the Titan had brought you to its mouth and managed to sink its teeth into the side of your body enough to make you lose consciousness, but not enough to kill you. You knew that Levi was the one who had intervened, who had saved your life. The last piece of memory you had was the sight of Levi’s face as he grabbed you from the Titan, a look that was so intense, fear-stricken, and furious, it bordered on crazed.

After getting you back onto the ground, Hange had ridden over on horseback and hoisted your limp body onto the horse, carrying you out of harm’s way.

Levi took care of that Titan himself — he made sure of it. Blinded by rage and agony, he slaughtered the Titan with a brutality he typically withheld. Normally, Levi did only as much has he had to in order to kill a Titan. This wasn’t fun for him, it wasn’t a game; he didn’t like fighting, he didn’t like being violent.

But this was different — he sliced the Titan apart, his movements a fevered, merciless haze, his vision red with bloodthirstiness. By the time he was done with the Titan, it was a mere pile of limbs, and he was drenched in its blood.

He’d finally reached the wagon that you’d been placed in, climbing into it with urgent movements, trailing Titan blood behind him. His pupils were constricted; his eyes were glowing with panic.

Your body was lying flat in the wagon, Hange and some of the other squad members hovering over you, attempting to tend to your wounds, their efforts proving futile. They’d managed to wrap a bandage over where the Titan had bit you, but you were bleeding through it with no sign of stopping. There wasn’t anything left to do until you all returned inside the walls.

“Get the fuck away from her! Don’t fucking touch her!” He shouted, his voice coarse and sharp, his arms effortlessly shoving everyone else away from your limp body. He stood over you, his eyes wild with emotion, his chest rising and falling with breaths so heavy it looked almost painful.

When he dropped to his knees beside you, his eyes caught sight of your hand, on the makeshift paperclip ring he had made you, that you’d refused to ever take off. An ice-cold chill rushed down his spine, so sharp it felt like it was actually ripping him apart from the inside out.

“Why is this wagon moving so damn slowly?!” He snarled to the rest of the squad, his eyes desperately glued to your face, while the others scrambled to try and speed the journey up as much as they could.

He grasped onto your hand with both of his as if the sheer force of his grip could heal you and bring you back to him. His eyes didn’t waver from your face once, his gaze burning into your skin, searching for even the slightest sign of life; all he was met with was your pale, sweat-glistened skin. You looked peaceful and it snapped his last thread of self-control — he wanted you to fight.

An uncontrollable, livid, primal growl escaped his mouth, unable to form any coherent words. Spit flung off his lips and into the wind, his expression was frenzied with helpless rage and despair.

The rest of the squad’s expressions froze. They’d never seen Levi be anything but stoic, apart from when he was actively slicing the nape of a Titan’s neck. Goosebumps dotted their skin as they simply watched, eyes wide, unsure of what to do. Levi had forgotten anyone else was even there; he cared about nothing in that moment but you.

He watched as your face turned paler, as your breathing became so shallow that it was hardly perceptible. You were slipping through his fingers, and there was nothing he could do about it — for once, his strength meant nothing.

“No,” he barked, his voice gruff and strained, his grip on your hand tightening until his knuckles turned blazing white. “You won’t be taken from me. This shitty, goddamned world is not going to take you from me. You gave your word, Y/N. You said forever. Don’t back out on me now.”

His cries didn’t make a sound, but the sight of his back heaving raggedly and his hot tears dropping down onto your face was unmistakable. His face was twisted with anguish; his teeth were visibly clenched together so forcefully that they could’ve cracked. His hands began to involuntarily shake as they held onto your hand, the paperclip ring digging into his skin.

******

The next time you’d opened your eyes, you were confused. Your vision was blurry for a few moments, until you were met with the sight of the medical unit and you realized you were lying in one of the beds.

The next thing you saw was Levi’s face, the veins in neck tense with distress, the circles under his eyes darker than you’d ever seen them before. You took a deep breath, which hurt, and you felt the bandages around your waist expand and contract against your skin.

Upon seeing your eyes begin to faintly blink open, Levi moved to the edge of his chair, his hand urgently reaching out for yours, his eyes wildly moving across your face.

“Y/N?” His voice was raspy with disuse and lack of sleep, his tone pleading and tinged with hope.

“Levi…?” you whispered, groggily, your voice low and coarse.

His eyes fluttered closed with relief, his shoulders slumping as his head dropped down to your hand, holding it to his forehead with reverence. “Oh, thank god…” He whispered, his voice stilted with emotion.

Once Levi composed himself, and you began asking him questions, he explained to you, briefly, what had happened — he didn’t want to alarm or worry you with the more gruesome details until he was sure you were okay. All he told you was that a Titan had attacked you on the last scouting mission and that you’d been in the medical unit for weeks.

You’d learned later that the entire time, Levi had barely left your side. He’d sat in a chair next to you, watching you, talking to you, holding your hand, and urging you to wake up and come back to him. At night, he’d slept even less than usual, nodding off in his chair for only an hour or so here and there. Some of the other squad members could have sworn they’d even caught glimpses of Levi crying when he thought no one else was around.

The only time he ever left your side was if he had to go to briefings and meetings. When he did, he’d threaten medics into sitting by your side, outlining grave consequences for if anything happened to you while he was gone. He’d skipped meals, trainings, and anything else that wasn’t absolutely mandatory for him to attend.

After he’d finished helping you sip some water and become less groggy, he just looked at you, his eyes scanning over every centimeter of your face, as if making sure that you were really awake and stable and it wasn’t some insomnia-induced hallucination.

“You’re done with the Scouts,” he’d said, finally, his voice firm, unyielding — it wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“Huh?” Your brows pressed together with confusion. “Who decided that? Erwin? What, does he think I’m useless now?”

“No, Y/N.” He shook his head, taking a soft breath before continuing. “I’m deciding it.”

“Levi-“

“No,” he cut you off before you can even think to object. His jaw clenched, his expression was fraught with concern. “Y/N. I thought you were… gone. It nearly killed me. This- nothing can ever happen to you again. You’re my wife. I need you to be here, with me. I need to know you’re safe, Y/N. I can’t- if you’d actually… Please, Y/N.”

For a moment, this surprised you. Outside of missions, Levi had never told you what to do or asked anything of you — he was protective, but not possessive. You being with him, caring for him, and loving him was more than he’d ever dared to hope for in his life. To him, you’d settle for him despite his most hidden scars, and it felt wrong to ever ask for more.

But he was asking you to do this. Begging you. For him.

“Okay,” your voice dipped to a gentle softness, your hand reaching out for his again, somewhat weakly. “Okay, Levi. I’ll leave the Scouts. Nothing will ever happen to me again. Everything’s going to be okay.”

A slow, uneven breath escaped his lips, as if expelling all of the fear and tension in his body. He collapsed into you, softly, his forehead pressed against your shoulder.

“Thank you,” he breathed, the words barely making a sound. “I love you, Y/N. More than you’ll ever know.”

He didn’t say it often, only when it really counted.

Masterlist

Requests are OPEN!

Requested by anonymous!

Taglist (message me to be added!): @leviykwim

[dissolvedprincess]

Talk me through it

✷ CW : 18+, smut, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, car sex, a bit of fluff if you squint, first date

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

Your heart was beating out of your chest. Rattling inside your ribcage, threatening to burst out; pleading to be surrendered to his hands.

“I had fun.” You smiled, mentally patting yourself on the back for even daring to say yes to this in the first place. Both of you have been tiptoeing around each other for months. Always in fear of ruining this. A bond that has been tested many times before and it always comes out tighter than ever, yet it never turns into anything beyond a friendship.

He lets his hand off the steering wheel, his car parked neatly on your driveway. He turns his head, eyes too shy to meet yours but eventually; he relented. It’s so funny how easy it always used to be to look at each other.

“Me too.” He reached over to squeeze your hand.

“Can i-“

“Can i-“

You both laughed at the same time, hand pulled away to cover the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

“Oh my god hah! i’m so sorry Josh, you go first. What were you gonna ask me?”, You tilt your head to the side; knowing the fact that it makes him flustered whenever you do that.

“No no no, it’s okay. I- I just wanted to know if- um- can i walk you to your door?”

“What! Of course you can, why are you so nervous about walking me to my door?”

He looked down while shaking his head, smiling. “You don’t know the effect you have on me.”

“Mmhm okay.”, you playfully roll your eyes.

“What were you gonna ask?”, his tone curious and…expectant?

A tingle went down your spine, there’s no more fear or doubt anymore; just excitement. You lean forward, not too close but close enough to tease him with the idea of something thrilling.

“Can i kiss you?”

You surprise yourself with how steady you sounded, expertly masking how all over the place you feel inside.

His eyes widen, mouth agape.

“Yeah..Yeah of course you can.”

The music playing in the background faded as you met in the middle, it all came down to this. The two of you were finally properly communicating with each other, teeth clashing and tongues meeting. A moan escaped you, further egging him on. You felt his hand tangling itself into your hair, your own moving to cup his jaw affectionately.

Then he reluctantly pulled away despite your protests. A string of saliva stretched and broke.

“Oh josh-“, you moaned. He was kissing and sucking on your neck. Leaving marks of ownership that you will look at tomorrow with pride. It felt so good, you rub your legs together to ease the tension. You feel so wet, desperate to have him inside you.

He trailed up to whisper into your ear, “Does it feel good? Do you like it?”, sneaking a little nibble.

You were lightheaded, you didn’t even remember if you answered properly or not. One thing led to another, then you were sitting on the backseat; panties off. Somehow it felt much dirtier to get fingered by your high school best friend/crush while being fully clothed. You even still had your sneakers on.

Josh had his arm around your neck, pillowing you; occasionally stroking the side of your face with his thumb. You found it hot to see him with his sleeves rolled half way, so he could finger you properly.

“You’re so beautiful. I could never get tired of you”, he said while he had three fingers inside your cunt. His thumb expertly stroked your clit, just as affectionate as the thumb on your cheek.

The moans you let out were embarrassing to say the least, but they don’t compare to how embarrassing your cunt sounded. Wet and sticky, drowning out the radio.

“I can’t believe how wet i’m making you feel. You’re making a mess in my car.”

“Ohh baby, i can’t ah shit- help it. Fuck right there fuckkk.” you whimper.

You feel dizzy and overwhelmed, his blue eyes pierced through you. He sometimes leans close to tease you. Promising a sweet kiss, only to keep you at a distance. You shamelessly stuck out your tongue, too horny to feel any ounce of shame.

“Fuck look at you. You’re so fucking sexy.”, he whispered breathlessly. His eyes trailed down your body, stopping at your warm middle.

He fully pulled his fingers out slowly, you let out a soft whimper.

“Patience baby. I just wanted you to look at how much you’re soaking my fingers.”, he showed you his fingers, soaked and webbed with cum. This was turning you on so much.

“My.good.fucking.girl.” he punctuated the words with deep and rough thrusts back inside your cunt.

“Ah baby! Fuck, i wanna cum so bad Josh. Your fingers feel so fucking good.”, you look at him with low lids and furrowed brows. “Please..make me cum.”

“Fuck. I wanna feel you around my dick so bad, you’re sucking me in so much.”

“Please!”, the image of you riding him flashed through your head, further pushing you closer and closer to an orgasm.

“Next time i’m gonna eat you out till your fucking legs shake. Then I’m gonna fuck you and cum inside this sweet pussy.”, his breath hot in your ear.

“You want that?”

You answered with a high pitched yes. Your hand wrapped around his wrist to ground you.

“Then cum for me.”, tone demanding, his fingers jack hammering inside you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, tears rolled down your face. You weren’t even sure how loud you screamed. His fingers stilled inside you, feeling your cunt tighten and spasm. Your body instantly felt spent. Little did you know, Josh had his eyes fixed on you the whole time, never wanting to miss anything.

Your eyes slowly opened, “Josh…” you cried. You never want him to stop looking at you this way.

“Yeah?”, he responded with a sweet and loving smile.

You took a few deep breaths to regain control of your body again. The heat running through your body felt different now. Instead of consuming you whole; in a heartbeat, it spread slowly. Warming up your chest.

You were close to crying, the emotions rising up to your throat.

“I love you so much”, you whispered.

“I love you too, you’re everything to me.”, he finished with a kiss to your forehead.

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

Thank you so much to @slapthosewilliessilly for requesting ‘Josh talking you through it’. I had to expand it a little more to stretch out my writing muscles. Hope you like it! 🥹

Also ahh i’m so nervous about sharing my first kind of long-form fic…😖

[buckets-and-trees]

So, about the Lake Trip fics—

It's a good thing we have all week because my overthinking ass has come to the conclusion that the only way to not metaphorically come between friends—we'd hate for Ari and Nick to have beef after this trip—is to literally come between friends. 🤭

And if other friendships have to be preserved as a result of further surprise shenanigans—well, a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do. 😉😅

😂🤍🤍🤍

Burning Desire on the Deck

Characters/Pairings: soft!dark Curtis Everett x curvy!Millennial female!reader Word Count: 1.4k Summary: The arrival of another of your brother's friends derails your afternoon.

Content Warnings: modern AU; explicit smut: oral (male receiving); crude language; slight degradation; slight objectificaton; nude pics referenced; fucking without feelings; porn with almost no plot; brother's best friend

Author Notes: There's nearly zero plot in this AU. It's just porn with light connections to the other parts. The only thing you need to know to jump in here is that you're staying at your family's lake house with your brother and a group of friends and you've started having no-strings-attached sex with two of the friends.

Additional Note: This is my second Valentine Storygram and the piece I teased dialogue from the other day.

Previous Encounter | The Lake House Encounters

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

After lunch, everyone else decides to go out swimming on the lake, but you decide to stay back, lay in the sun on the deck on the side of the house, and read.

You settled into the lounge chair on the deck, relishing the warm sun on your skin. The novel you'd brought along lay unopened in your lap as your mind wandered back to the events of the morning. And the night before. Your body still hummed with residual pleasure, and you could almost feel the phantom touches of Ari and Nick's hands on your skin.

The sound of the screen door sliding open startled you from your reverie. You turned to see Curtis, another of your brother's good friends, step out onto the deck. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of swim trunks, his muscular body on full display.

“Curtis, you made it!” you crooned, beaming up at him.

Of all the men in the friend group your brother forged in college, Curtis was the one you knew best. He was more content to sit on the outskirts of any party or gathering, and so the two of you had shared many side conversations together.

With everything that had flipped your world upside down this week with Nick and Ari - and likely so much more to come (and cum) - you had been eager to have Curtis finally arrive and provide some normalcy.

"Hey," he said. "Thought I’d check in on you before I head down to join the others.”

You felt a flutter in your stomach as he approached. But you tried to smother it immediately. Curtis had always been the quieter one of the group, and there was an intensity to him that you never failed to notice, but he was your friend and it was only the sex with Ari and Nick that had you in knots.

"I'm good," you managed, trying to keep your voice steady. "Just wanted some quiet time to read."

Curtis nodded, his icy blue eyes seeming to pierce right through you. He moved closer, his shadow falling across your sun-warmed skin. You couldn't help but notice how the light played off the defined muscles of his chest and abs.

"Reading, huh?" he said, his voice low and measured. His gaze flicked to the unopened book in your lap. "Doesn't look like you've made much progress."

You felt heat creep up your neck. "I was just... thinking."

"About this morning?" Curtis asked, his tone deceptively casual.

Your eyes widened in shock. How could he possibly know?

Before you could formulate a response, Curtis's hands moved to the waistband of his swim trunks. With deliberate slowness, he untied the drawstring and let the fabric fall to the deck.

Your breath caught in your throat as his cock sprang free, already half-hard. Curtis stepped closer, until he was right in front of you.

"You're going to suck my cock," he stated matter-of-factly.

Your jaw dropped as you stared at Curtis's exposed cock, your mind reeling from his blunt command. A thousand questions raced through your head, but you couldn't form words.

"I... Curtis, what are you...?" you stammered.

His icy blue eyes locked onto yours, his gaze intense and unwavering. "Don't play coy," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "I know exactly what you've been up to with Nick and Ari."

Your heart pounded in your chest as the implications of his words sank in. How could he possibly know?

As if reading your thoughts, Curtis continued, "We have a group text without your brother."

Your heart raced as you processed Curtis's words. A group chat. Heat flooded your cheeks as you realized just how exposed you were - not just physically, but that your illicit activities with Nick and Ari were known to the others.

Had they sent the pictures of you?

Curtis's cock bobbed inches from your face, demanding your attention. Despite your shock and embarrassment, you felt a familiar warmth building between your thighs.

"I..." you started, but Curtis cut you off.

"No more talking," he said firmly. "Open your mouth."

Slowly, almost against your will, you leaned forward in the lounge chair, and your lips parted. Curtis wasted no time, pushing his cock past your lips and into the wet heat of your mouth. You whimpered softly as he filled you, the taste of his skin flooding your senses.

"That's it," Curtis let out a low groan, his hand coming to rest on the back of your head.

You moaned softly around Curtis's thick length as he guided your head, setting a steady rhythm. Your hands gripped his muscular thighs for support as you took him deeper into your mouth. The sun beat down on your back, a stark contrast to the cool shade cast by Curtis's imposing form looming over you.

"Fuck," Curtis grunted, his fingers tangling in your hair. "No wonder they couldn't stop talking about that mouth of yours."

His words sent a jolt of arousal through you, mingled with a twinge of shame. The idea of Nick and Ari discussing you, sharing details of your encounters, was both mortifying and thrilling.

Part of you wanted to pull away, to demand answers about how much he knew, how much the others knew. But a larger part of you reveled in the taboo nature of the situation - sucking off yet another of your brother's friends, right out in the open where anyone could catch you.

You hollowed your cheeks, sucking harder, determined to show Curtis exactly why you'd left such an impression.

Curtis's breathing grew heavier as you worked his shaft, your tongue swirling around the head before taking him deep again. You could feel him trembling with the effort to maintain control, to not thrust roughly into your throat.

"Fuck," he hissed.

You moaned around his cock, the vibrations making him twitch in your mouth. Your hands slid up his thighs to grasp his firm ass, encouraging him to move.

Taking the hint, Curtis began to rock his hips, fucking your mouth with slow, deliberate strokes. You relaxed your throat, taking him as deep as you could with each thrust.

"That's it," Curtis murmured, his usually stoic demeanor cracking slightly. "Take it all."

You looked up at him through your lashes, eyes watering.

He groaned, and one of his thumbs swiped at the tears that started to spill over.

Curtis's pace quickened, his grip on your hair tightening as he drove deeper into your throat. You struggled to breathe, but the light-headed feeling only intensified your arousal. Your own hands wandered, one slipping between your legs to rub against your aching core through your clothes.

"Fuck," Curtis grunted, his hips stuttering. "I'm close."

You redoubled your efforts, hollowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue around his shaft. Curtis's usually stoic expression was gone, replaced by one of intense concentration and pleasure. His icy blue eyes bore into yours, filled with a hunger you'd never seen from him before.

With a low groan, Curtis pushed deep into your throat and held there. You felt his cock pulse as he came, hot spurts of cum shooting down your throat. You swallowed reflexively, tears streaming down your cheeks as you struggled to take it all. Curtis held you in place, his fingers tangled in your hair, as he emptied himself into your mouth.

When he finally released you, you gasped for air, your chest heaving. Curtis stepped back, his softening cock slipping from between your swollen lips. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, looking up at him with a mixture of shock and lingering arousal.

Curtis tucked himself back into his swim trunks, his face returning to its usual impassive mask. But there was a glint in his eye that hadn't been there before.

"Not bad," he said, his voice low and husky. "But I think we can do better."

Before you could respond, he turned and walked towards the steps leading down to the lake. At the top of the stairs, he paused and looked back over his shoulder.

"Come to my room tonight. You’ll squirm the rest of the day waiting for me to kiss that pretty pussy I’m sure’s dripping between your legs. But waiting for it? It’ll make it so good for you, little slut.”

@eralen I hope this lived up to expectations! (Despite you leaving this aaaaaaaages ago!)

Are these three the only friends your brother has at the lake house?

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I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[lunaatthezoo]

Ok @yellowmusings 👉👈

~ they are the only couple on time to ANYTHING. And every time they just look at each other and shake their heads like we should expect this by now.

~ azriel gets elain her own dagger for their first solstice together. It's incredibly elain-coded like think:

And she LOVES it and has all these cutesy thigh holsters that she uses to wear it at all times.

~ tattoos: Elain has a Truth-Teller tattoo down the side of her thigh. Azriel has jasmine climbing over his chest intermingling with his Illyrian tattoos.

~ Tea: they have so much tea in their house. Tea for every occasion. A whole shelf for decaf. A whole shelf for caff. They know exactly how each other takes their tea and are meticulous about preparing it perfectly for each other.

~ Rosehall: Elain and Azriel's mother strike up a quick friendship in the gardens of Rosehall. they go to visit her several times a month, and Azriel usually just sits and smiles faintly at his two greatest loves chatting and working in the garden together.

~ Home: Rhys gifts them the Townhouse and Elain immediately Elain-ifies it. Flowers and potted plants everywhere. Cass complains every time he's there because of his allergies but Az defends Elain to the death, telling Cass to suck it up.

~ They cut each other's hair, and Az is actually really good at it. He always takes way longer than he has to because he loves having his hands in her hair. He also meticulously washes her hair with his bare hands prior to cuts.

~ When they go Court of Nightmares events, Az makes it very fucking clear that Elain is his. As if he wasn't already terrifying enough at the CoN, you should see him with his wife on his arm. People avert their eyes because they're afraid of him tearing them out their faces if they look at her. They waltz. All the time.

~ Azriel sings to Elain when she can't sleep or when she's having a hard time. His mother used to ask him to sing to her for the one hour he was permitted to he with her each week as a boy, and he sings that song to Elain. No one else besides Elain and his mother have ever heard him sing, but he sings like a gods damn angel.

~ Elain loves flying with Azriel. He finds all the most beautiful places in the world to take her flying, just to see the wonder on her face. Elain loves feeling the wind on her face and hearing the song of the wind.

~ they both really like the Dawn Court and often go spend time there to get away from everything every once in a while. They love the NC and it is their home, but they go to Dawn for peace and quiet sometimes. Azriel and Thesan's Peregryn mate are good friends.

~ They send little messages to each other through Azriel's shadows, and it's so cute. His shadows are also always keeping track of Elain's whereabouts and safety.

~ they start hosting family dinners at the townhouse and elain always cooks the most disturbingly elaborate feasts for them. Azriel always gets sick of the company and kicks everyone out so he can have his wife to himself as the night grows late.

~ Elain wears a cobalt wedding ring made from a piece of Azriel's siphon. Azriel wears a band with a rose quartz gem embedded in it (this is not my original idea!! Many others have used this i am just 😍😍)

~ they have a private little wedding with just the IC, Azriel's mother, and Nuala and Cerridwen present. And it's the most beautiful softest thing anyone has ever witnessed and everyone cries their fucking eyes out.

once Elain and Azriel are together how do you think they’ll interact in front of the others? Are they into pda? Do they talk more? Are they funnier? Do they play sneaky pranks? Are they sappy? Does she get bolder? I can’t decide what I think on it and I’m sooo curious.

I love this question. This is what I think about most of my waking hours I'm not even JOKING. Here are some of my elriel endgame headcanons. Many inspired by other creators like @merakimoonglade @moonfalles @murkyrealms @jasmineandcedar @nikachansstuff @tswaney17 and so many other wonderful people on here.

~ Touching ALL the time. Not inappropriate PDA, but just touching to know that they are there together. Azriel keeps touching Elain because he can't believe he's allowed to, and can't believe how lucky he is. Little butt pats when he walks by, kisses on the forehead and shoulder, hands tangled in hair while they're sitting, little squeeze of the waist. A hand on the thigh. A kiss on the knuckles. Elain can't resist touching Azriel either because she can't believe this is her life now. They always need to reassure themselves that this is real.

~ I think they have the potential to be the funniest couple, in a quiet, subtle way. They have both demonstrated so much subtle humor, with Elain's gifts, with Azriel's interactions with other characters. And they both notice things most others don't. I think they would do hilarious things to get out of social obligations that they don't want to deal with or when the family is being too obnoxious, taking advantage of their powers. They're gonna exchange meaningful looks and Elain will pretend she's having a vision or Azriel will pretend his shadows are telling him something and they'll just bounce hahaha.

~ I think they will both still be quiet, because it's who they are as people. But if it comes to defending each other's choices or honor, they are going to speak. Up.

~ I think the inner circle will be shocked and moved at seeing Azriel happy for the first time. He'll be pulling Elain into his lap, laughing deeply, gazing at her lovingly and tucking hair behind her ear. It's going to be a new, content side to him that they've never seen before. They won't really know what to do with it and Cass will probably use humor like telling him it's unnatural or gross to see him so happy lol.

~ I think they will spend SO MUCH time in bed. Yes canoodling but also just being there together. Imagine. When they wake up in the morning, they will spend so long cuddling, kissing, snuggling, just being there together. Az will bring Elain tea in bed. When Elain gets up early to garden, she'll be so quiet to not disturb Az's sleep because she knows this is the first time he's gotten peaceful rest in all his centuries.

~ I think Elain is already bold but I think with Az in her corner she will grow further in her self confidence and become more involved in what the court is doing.

~ I think Azriel will be the most deranged, feral, protective partner out of all the brothers. Just full obsession. Breaking fingers just for looking at his girl wrong. Ripping out hearts if they touch her. And Elain will just be like oh thank you ☺️🌸

~ I think their love languages will be acts of service and physical touch. They will ALWAYS be doing things for each other.

~ Elain is going to FUSS over Azriel and he's going to be like 😳 about it. She's going to give Rhys a talking to if he overworks her husband. She's going to make him see Madja for every nick and scrape he gets. She's going to force him to nap if he looks tired (and with her laying there stroking his hair, he will.)

~ Az is going to be absolutely positively undeniably whipped. Whatever his girl wants, she gets. She says jump he says I'm already in the air. She mentions a flower ONE time and the next day he's procured the rare seeds. His new title will be Azriel, professional Elain simp of the night court

~ Azriel will take Elain's last name. Because he is bastard born, he doesn't have a family name. So he becomes Azriel Archeron and is SO PROUD of it. He uses is last name whenever he can.

~ I think they will adopt children. Especially given Azriel's history, I think it would be very healing to give children homes who might otherwise feel unwanted or alone. And since Sarah is adopted I just think it would be a beautiful thread. Elain is so caring and nurturing she would be completely on board and SPOIL those children.

~ they're going to have crazy fucking feral animal sex (also, switches.) I'm talking extreme dirty talk, bite marks, handprints, knife play, strap ons, they're kinky. If I know ONE thing about Azriel Archeron, it's that he's a panty ripper.

~ Elain is obsessed with Azriel's hands. Azriel is obsessed with Elain's neck. They are both obsessed with each other's hair.

~ Azriel's pet names for Elain include: beautiful, love, angel, sweetheart. Elain always calls Azriel by his name because she thinks it's so beautiful, but sometimes she calls him "my love"

~ they are both PATHETIC about how much they miss each other when Az is away on missions. To the point where other people are like OK WE GET IT GOOD LORD.

I could literally just keep going. And going. And going. I have SAGAS of HCs in my mind. But I hope these scratch some itches 🥹

Thank u for the question, this gave me life.

[weirdcatlive]

So, since making my Lonliness video I've (understandably) had a lot of "hey come hang out with me" requests and I just wanna set the record straight that 99% of the time I have to pass on these

Thing is, if you have any sort of platform you're always gonna get strangers reaching out to you and unfortunately a large portion of em do not have honest intentions. Additionally when someone's a fan yet a stranger to me, there's a power dynamic there regardless of how much you believe you would treat me the same as everyone else

I know I might be missing out on interactions with a lot of cool people right after "complaining" about loneliness in a video but imo it's really important to set those boundaries, for me being a friend of a friend or a fellow creator establishes a level of "trust" that's missing from strangers who watch my stuff (i know it might seem harsh to call you guys strangers but I do wanna stress that regardless of how much you know about me, if I don't know you you are a stranger)

Also, not implying OP is a minor (idk if they are or not) but I also wanna use this opportunity to make it clear that I will never seek out friendships with minors. That's a very important boundary to me in general but especially as a fan + creator is a whole nother level of yikes

Posting this at the risk of coming across hostile/being misinterpreted but I think it's an important discussion to have, I feel like a lot of people misunderstood my video a lil and specifically the reason why I can't accept random friend requests is something I would've expanded on more if I had had more time

Again I don't want this to come across the wrong way (I'm also just using OP's question as a way to address this topic as a whole rather than responding to them directly, hence why I kept em annonymous), but tbh it is a little alarming how many requests I've gotten specifically from minors & people sharing personal info with me and I really wanna encourage you to consider your own safety in these situations too, just like fans can be untrustworthy so can (unfortunately) creators too. While it's nice to wanna help & be friends you gotta keep yourself safe and keep potential power dynamics in mind if you're thinking about reaching out to creators on a personal level

[ghouljams]

Hey Ghoul, hope your doing well. I'm sending this in hope of some advice. You can totally ignore this if you're uncomfortable. I've gotten myself into a certain situation and I can't stop myself anymore. A few years ago I started exchanging flirty texts with this coworker/friend. We no longer work together but are still in touch, every few months we would grab dinner together (with another friend so we're never alone). The thing is he's married, and recently had his first kid. Our less than friendly interactions started when we were still working together, during his first year marriage they were having issues and he confided in me, and I was having alot of family issues and I leaned on him, and we became close. We never did anything physical, it was more like dirty jokes and occasional flirty comments back then.

Over the last few years it's escalated, I recognize he would text me whenever he was horny and always lead the conversation to suggestive texts. I never started it, but I never stop or discouraged it either.

The thing is (and it's no excuse) I'm in my 30s and I've never been in a relationship, never been the girl guys choose or wanted and am extremely lonely. I like the attention he gives me and I can't stop myself from replying or engaging with him. I want to stop, I don't want to be the other woman. I know he'll probably never leave his wife, certainly not for me.

This is probably the only male attention I've ever gotten in my life, and I know male validation isn't something I should strive for but having never received any it feels nice. It doesn't feel nice being a dirt secret.

I don't know. Thanks for reading if you got this far...I just don't know how to stop myself

Wow. This is a lot friend. I want to start by saying I think for your friend's wife's sake I think you should block him.

While you're not without blame in this situation, this man also sounds like absolute trash for letting this go on this long without stopping. He has a wife and child, and any good person would not be cheating on their partner like this. That said, you should show some compassion for not just the wife but yourself and get this man out of your life asap.

This validation and attention feels good in the moment because it's fleeting and you don't have to worry about any of the hard relationship stuff, you get the pay off of "you're hot" without any of the emotional stuff of a relationship, and as good as it feels in the short term it's not going to help you in the long run. Which you already know because you've said it doesn't feel nice being a dirty secret.

Now. It is a terrifically false statement that you have "never been the girl guys choose or want." It is an unkindness to yourself and a categorically untrue thing to say. You don't know how many people have seen you and wanted you or known you and never said anything about wanting you. And to wallow in self-pity and say "but I do, and that number is zero" is just stupid. It's stupid and it's unkind to the people that pined for you, it's also just-

like there's a measure of self-centeredness to self-loathing that I think makes people think they know other people and how they should think better than they actually do. You don't know how many people or who has loved you for 30 years, and unfortunately you probably never will, but to assume that number is zero is just statistically improbable.

I've been where you are, when you've never gotten what you think every other woman does it's intoxicating to get that male attention. You feel almost honored that you finally got cat called, that some guy is giving you attention through flirty texts, that people are liking your bikini photos, or your male friend from college is rekindling your friendship. Craving this sort of validation isn't great, but it's understandable. What I think is more important to realize is that these men don't respect you, or care for you, and are using you as a means to an end.

You should block him because you deserve better than being a dirty secret, and you should start trying to love yourself more. Just because you're not your type doesn't mean you're no one's type, and just because you've never dated doesn't mean no one has wanted to date you. Most people cannot identify when someone is flirting with them, but that doesn't mean people weren't trying.

Give yourself some credit, and this guy's wife some peace of mind.

[doveywovy]

fdsafdsa it is....my brand. <3

tobirama & izuna are both in hs and hashirama is attending a local college so he and tobirama are actually living together, they're just not on good terms at the time. he's there for izunas tearful 'confession' because izuna did it in as public a place as possible with as many people around as possible, all as a manipulation tactic. izuna knows madara feels the most shame when its something hashirama disapproves of, so he made sure hashirama was around (probably just hanging out casually with madara?) when this happens.

i think in this au in particular izuna takes a lot of liberties with what he demands from tobirama + physical touch. he expects tobirama to give him hourly check-in texts when they're not together, to spend all his free time with him, to partner with him on all projects, to back him up in arguments or conversations. if tobirama walks into a room and izuna says "right, tobirama?" he expects tobirama to agree despite having no idea what he's agreeing to. he escalates from there to pressuring tobirama into stuff, either because tobirama 'already agreed' or because good friends do stuff together, right? he got tobirama into this party in the first place, tobirama can't expect him to drink alone all night! tobirama wanted a sleepover, he can't rightfully expect izuna to sleep on the floor or to take the floor, does he think there's something gross about izuna? they have to share the bed, it's only polite.

then he demands nudes with increasingly specific details about what tobirama should be wearing/doing in the photos. (maybe he also starts up a "besties circlejerk, don't be weird about it' agenda?)

tobirama is unaware of what counts as normal or not, given his total lack of experience having friends (and his belief that 'practicing friendship' with a comatose guy....clearly his litmus is off.) especially since he has a lot of boundaries that the 'average' person doesn't when it comes to things like touch, which might even be why hashirama is currently pissed with him? he only really figures out it out when he gets to the nudes thing as 'not normal', but he also feels like it's the price he's willing to pay to keep izuna in his life.

madara is NOT homophobic (in this au) and is completely thrown by the accusation. he has faith in izuna as a person (a mistake) so he genuinely thinks he's like. potentially got some internalized issues to process, perhaps he needs to do some reading up on LGBTQ+ allyship....but ALSO he desperately needs everybody to know that tobirama is taking advantage of izuna!!!!! not in a homophobic way!!! hes saying that in an ally way!!!! as izunas biggest supporter he thinks izuna deserves a boyfriend who is not taking advantage of some kind of mental issue!!!! he has no proof of this and hashirama is making sad faces at him, so instead madara is forced to seethe on the inside and keep his comments to a bare minimum.

modern au where izuna is in a tragic accident and it puts him in a coma and tobirama is like sweet, a way to practice friendship. because tobirama has absolutely zero friends except his brother, who's been pissed at him for over a year. so- he needs the practice.

so every day he goes in to visit and he changes out the flowers at izunas bedside and fixes the sheets and updates him in what's been happening while he's in the coma. with all the tact he has, which is very little.

tobirama: hello izuna. class went well today. you would've liked the chemistry lesson. your cousin hikaku broke down crying behind the school because he misses you. your other cousin obito called me a slur when he noticed i saw this and then he chased me down and shoved my head into a toilet. the cafeteria was serving cold rice again at lunch. this concludes my report. get well soon.

what tobirama is unaware of is that this is the kind of coma that izuna is actually largely aware of whats happening around him, he just can't respond or move in any way. so he knows about tobiramas daily visits and updates and weird attempts at friendship. (tobirama's consistant reports on class lessons actually means when he wakes up, he doesn't need to do too much to catch up on work.)

so when izuna finally wakes up, he decides to do his own crazy move- to lie that they've always been friends, actually. best friends. joined at the hip practically. tobirama assumes this is some kind of brain damage situation but gleefully takes the opportunity to have a friend. izuna uses the justification of them being lifelong friends to violate a number of boundaries and behave in completely inappropriate ways.

madara also assumes this is some kind of brain damage consequence and considers tobirama an evil blight on his brother's life that must be vanquished. he keeps desperately trying to prove that they didn't get along before izuna's coma, but izuna just keeps making up loopholes and excuses to disprove his evidence.

eventually izuna tearfully confesses that madara is right, there's no physical proof of their lifelong friendship....because he himself destroyed it all! he and tobirama were/are actually boyfriends, see, but he was so worried that his brother would be homophobic about it that he never kept proof of their relationship! his close call with death has made him realize the importance of treasuring the time he has with tobirama, even if.... (loud sob) even if madara is being even MORE homophobic about this than he had once feared.....(Sob)

madara: oh. uh. i. uh

hashirama: madara.....how could you.....

[boringlyyourskat]

I often find myself daydreaming about the day I finally shut down all my social media accounts and disappear from the digital world - returning to the real one. Maybe not completely. I’d just share more of the authentic, everyday moments. The simple life, the mundane. Because I don’t think social media is inherently bad. It’s brought so much value - community, a sense of belonging, friendships, family even. But like anything, too much of it isn’t good. And for me, personally, I burn out easily when I spend too much time online. My sensitive soul gets overwhelmed - too much information, too many narratives, too many opinions pulling me in different directions. When I reach that point, I’ve made impulsive decisions before, convinced in the moment that I have to leave it all just to feel at peace again. It’s not that deep, it's not. I’ve learned that when I start feeling that way, I don’t need to burn everything down - I just need to step back. Take a break. Spend less time online and more time offline, ideally in nature. But not in complete isolation either, because too much solitude can be just as damaging. Ideally, I’d share that fresh air with loved ones, building the sense of community I crave in the offline world.

[miss-noo-na]

Take What You Can Get (Yeonjun x Reader)

Title: Take What You Can get

Featuring: Choi Yeonjun (TXT) x Reader

Rating: Mature/explicit

Warnings: Verbal degradation and name-calling (slut, whore, etc), dubcon because consent isn't verbally given but insinuated. Rough sex/hate-fucking, dirty talk, choking, biting, yearning.

Word Count:  4000

Summary: You have been pining for Soobin, even though he doesn't return your feelings. You can't stand his best friend Yeonjun, but he notices, and he's going to make you forget all about him. Whether you want to or not.

Notes: It's been a long time since I posted something to Tumblr, so I thought I'd do it for funsies. Also to remind everyone that I'm still alive and update on AO3 now (check my pinned post for links) Love you guys <3

You didn’t expect much when Soobin invited you over. Sure, there was always a small part of you that hoped maybe today would be the day. The day he got the hint that you liked him and had for some time. The day he returned those feelings, or at least was curious to get closer. For the sake of your friendship you would never confess to him the crush you had been harboring for so long, unless you got that hint.

But you never imagined that standing in his kitchen he would introduce you to the girl he had been seeing. You had no idea he was dating anyone, especially not someone so pretty. It was early in the relationship but you thought for sure you would have known about this sooner, if not from him than one of your mutual friends. You smiled wide and happy when you shook her hand, even though inside you could feel the weight of the disappointment crushing down on your heart.

To make matters worse, halfway through the get-together they had left. He assured you and their other friends they would be back in a bit, they had something they needed to do together. You don’t know why they hadn’t done it before you bothered coming over, but there you were, alone in his bedroom trying to work out a problem with his computer. He had mentioned in passing that he was having some issues with a program you were familiar with, and it would be great if you could take a look at it while you were there.

“I’d really appreciate it.” He said with a gentle crease in his eyes that made you melt, and you nodded all too willingly. Now you just felt like an idiot, doing his tasks for him while he was out with his new girl doing whatever it was you didn’t want to think about.

You were vaguely trying to solve the issue, more so lost in your thoughts and clicking around idly. The door being nudged open loudly by someone’s foot startled you.

You swiveled halfway in the chair and locked eyes with Yeonjun, who half-smiled at you but not in a kind way. You rolled your eyes and turned back around without a word.

The baggage of pining for Soobin came with the unfortunate add-on of having to be around Yeonjun. From the moment you met, there was something about him that bothered you, and the more you got to know him that something turned into many things. He was arrogant and loud and always needed to be the center of attention. He thought too highly of himself and dominated conversations with his obnoxious presence that he was under the impression was charming to others, but not you. You tried ignoring him at first, but over time started to speak up whenever he was too extra, and cracking jokes and roasts at his expense had him glowering at you from across the room. You bickered like rivals even when it wasn’t that serious. Every time he opened his mouth in a group setting you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just as you had done when you saw him enter Soobin’s room.

“Does he know you’re in here?” He asked as he made himself at home on the edge of Soobin’s bed.

“Of course he does.” You said in a biting tone, trying to focus now.

“Got you doing his work for him, eh?” He asked with a laugh and the sound it of it went down your spine like nails on a chalkboard.

“I’m just doing him a favor.”

“Naturally, you’re always doing him favors.” He said off-handedly, and you fought the urge to turn around. You said nothing.

“Tell me, do all your little errands feel stupid now that he’s fucking someone else?” He asked in a voice that dripped in condescension and you could feel yourself getting hot with anger. Yeonjun had caught on to your crush long ago, far more attentive than Soobin had ever been. It was something he liked to bring up whenever he felt like getting under your skin. Usually in retaliation for the times you told him to shut up and stop pestering everyone.

You continued to ignore him, typing more furiously and glaring at the screen, mentally cursing him out but not allowing it to reach your tongue.

You heard him get up and hoped he was leaving, but instead you felt him behind you, his presence looming over your shoulder. He turned his head and his hot breath ghosted your neck.

“Does it make you crazy thinking about him and her in this room?” He laughed low and it tickled your ear. “I bet you get all worked up wishing it was you.”

You weren’t going to sit here and be mocked, the anger bubbling up inside but also the pin-prick feeling of something else you didn’t want to address. You shoved the chair back, bumping his chest and making him stumble back. You headed for the door, figuring you could do this later when he wasn’t here.

“Hey! Hold on.” He grabbed at your wrist and you snatched it away, turning and glaring daggers into him. He sat back down on Soobin’s bed and he was grinning.

“I’m just messing around.” He said, but it didn’t ease your fury. Then his voice changed, it got a little softer and deeper.

“Come here.”

You blinked, his smile had faded and his eyelids drew down. The way he was looking at you was different. Usually it was smarmy or annoyed, but this looked like….

“Why?” You asked, still angled toward the door.

“Because.”

He gestured to the spot next to him and you hated that you were curious about what he had to say. The day was already ruined, so you relented and went and sat next to him.

“Look, I’m the only person who knows how you feel right now.” He said, surprisingly understanding, but you wondered about his angle. He wouldn’t be the type to comfort you.

“And I think maybe you should take this opportunity to do something about it.” He leaned a little closer. “That I could help with.”

You pulled back and scowled at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about letting me,” He pointed at himself, “Make you-“His finger touched the center of your chest, below your throat, “feel better.”

You guffawed at his proposition, but the hysterical laughter was hiding the way your blood started rushing to your ears when you heard him say it.

“You think I’m desperate enough to do that?” You asked.

Instead of being offended, like you might assume, he smirked.

“I do.” He stated plainly. “I think you’ve been following my best friend around like a pathetic puppy and someone needs to snap you out of it.”

Your smile faded at his words and you didn’t know how to decipher the mix of emotions. It hurt, first and foremost. But it hurt in a way that made your breath pick up as Yeonjun stared you down. You wanted him to keep talking.

He put his hands on the bed and moved forward in a sudden motion, making you lean back so far that you fell onto your back and he was now hovering over you.

“I think someone needs to get it through your dumb head that he doesn’t want you.”

He sounded mad. Frustrated by your behavior and intent on letting you know.

“And I know that you hate me,” He said with a wry smile, his eyes taking in the sight of you beneath him for a moment. “So I’m the perfect person to fuck it out of your system.”

Despite yourself and everything your instincts told you, you trembled at his words, your eyes widening and hands going clammy.

“What’s in it for you?” You asked, irked by how weak your voice now sounded.

He laughed, almost gleefully. “Making the bitch who hates me squirm under me is satisfying in its own way.” He cocked his head to the side. “I’ll think about it next time you try to humiliate me in front of our friends.”

Your chest was rising and falling quickly now, as he talked it got harder to deny what it was doing to your body. It took you a moment to recognize that the more he degraded you, the more it turned you on. And even the shame of that revelation was exciting you.

“So,” He started, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the side of your neck, just under your jaw. “Are you going to let me ruin you or what?”

His kisses moved to your throat and then down to your collar bones. You stared at the ceiling, breathing hard and pressing your hands into the covers. You suddenly remembered where you were. This was Soobin’s room and his best friend was kissing down your neck in his bed.

His mouth moved to the crook of your shoulder where his teeth sank into your flesh. Not enough to break skin, but enough to make you yelp in surprise. Your hands shot up to grab his arms, holding on to him. He laughed against your neck.

“Take this off,” He said, toying with the hem of your shirt. You couldn’t understand yourself when you did exactly what he asked without hesitating.

“You might as well take your pants off, too.”

As you worked on removing your clothing, a voice in your head was asking what exactly you were doing, letting someone you couldn’t stand 5 minutes ago strip you down to your underwear. It was overpowered by a louder part of you that needed this. Needed to be taken and consumed and punished.

“You may be stupid,” He said, his tongue swiping over his lower lip as his vision grazed your body, “But you’re not bad looking.”

His half-lidded gaze, plump mouth and imposing form over you made you realize you thought the same of him. Maybe when you first saw him you recognized how attractive he was, but it was quickly replaced by a seething dislike. However here, in the afternoon glow of Soobin’s bedroom and his smoldering eyes, he looked like everything you’d desire.

In one harsh movement he grabbed your leg under the knee and pulled the limbs apart, settling himself between them. He attached his mouth onto your neck once more as his fingertips started a delicate dance down the front of your body, stopping to fondle your breasts through your bra.

“Maybe I should mark you up, huh?” He breathed against your skin before latching his lips to it and sucking hard, nibbling with his teeth. “Make him wonder where you got these from.”

He moved to the other side of your neck and did it again, and without seeing it you could tell he was leaving vicious marks in your skin that would be obvious to anyone.

“Then again, he probably won’t care.” He chuckled. “You’ll want him to. You’ll leave them out for him to see and he won’t give a fuck.” He hissed before capturing your mouth in a searing kiss.

It took you by surprise, and you made a sound against his mouth. However, it didn’t take you long to reciprocate, opening up to him and letting his tongue lap against yours. Your hands found their way over his shoulders, drawing him closer, and he pressed his hips into you in response.

He pulled back but kept close, staring down at you as one of his hands came up and took your chin, his thumb pressing against your moist lips.

“Look at you.” He murmured, pushing up on your chin to raise your head. “Your body is begging for attention. He’s ignored you for so long, hasn’t he?” His voice baby-talking those harsh words and his hardness grinding into you made you whimper. Your brain felt like it was being emptied out and all that mattered was what Yeonjun was doing to you.

“Aren’t you glad I was here?” He smiled, a devious edge to his sweet voice. “To take advantage of a pathetic, touch-starved whore.”

His words were like electricity jolting through you. No one has ever talked to you like this before, and never did the thought occur to you that you might like it.

Because he was right. You had followed Soobin around for ages, hanging off his words and vying for anything you could get. You hadn’t been desired or looked at by anyone else in that time nor did you want to be, until now. Until Yeonjun forced you to take what you had been lacking.

His hand on your chin trailed down your body once more, his large hand cupping over your clothed sex. He squeezed you, hard, and you cried out from the painful ache that it caused.

“I could’ve just stripped you down and fucked you raw and gotten it over with.” He commented nonchalantly. “You would have let me, too. But teasing you is so much more fun.”

You looked up at him with wet, wide eyes, lips pouted and wanting to say something.

“You’re so quiet now. Usually you never shut the fuck up.” He laughed, now gently rubbing his hand over you, feeling your wetness seep through your panties.

“What do you want to say, baby?” He leaned closer and his voice fell to a whisper. “Tell me.”

Some of your deep-seated anger was coming through as you heard him talk without changing pace in his motions. Even in the moment of actually doing something useful, he was still so goddamn annoying.

“I hate you.”

A smile grew over his mouth as his eyes narrowed, and you didn’t know if you detected anger or passion. Maybe both.

“Your mouth says that,” He started, then slipped his hand under the band of your underwear and sank down toward your wetness, his fingers pressing between the folds and stroking up toward your clit. “But your body loves me.”

When his fingertips grazed agonizingly over the sensitive spot, you moaned, your hips twitching.

“See?” He commented triumphantly, and you were too lost in the feeling to argue it.

After teasing you another minute, his middle two fingers sank inside you, pressing to the second knuckle and making your back arch up off the bed toward him. He kissed up your neck to your ear and breathed, making you shiver.

“I’m gonna make you forget all about him.” He said in an unusually serious tone. He curled his fingers up and massaged a place inside you that made your eyes roll back.

Yet just as you were starting to surrender to it, he retracted them, and you whined at the emptiness that followed. He ripped your underwear down your legs as he sat up, then grinned down at you before removing his shirt.

“Stop whining, you’ll get something much better.”

You watched him quickly strip away the rest of his clothing and before you could do anything else, he was grabbing your legs and pulling you down toward him, surprising you with his strength.

You looked down between your bodies, your knees trembling as he took himself in his hand and aligned it with your entrance, but didn’t enter quite yet. Instead, he ran the tip of his cock between your folds, all the way up to your clit and slowly back down again. He repeated the motion as he spoke.

“Do you want me to fuck some sense into you?” He asked, meeting your eyes. “Or do you want to save yourself for your precious Soobin?”

“Shut up.” You whined, not sounding as strong and biting as you usually did when you told him to shut up.  “Just fuck me.”

His eyes that once danced with amusement dropped down into a glare you were familiar with. “Fine.”

He grabbed your hips at either side and sank himself inside you in one fluid motion, pressing all the way to the hilt until he bottomed out inside you. Your eyes snapped open and you grabbed onto his forearms, digging your nails into his skin. It was overwhelming in both pleasure and burning pain but you didn’t want him to stop.

Then he started to move, his hips drawing back only about an inch before snapping back in. He made sure he pulled you flush against him each time, showing you just how deep he could go.

As the grimace melted away from your face and twisted into pleasure, he leaned forward.

“What happened to all that attitude?” He asked, his breath coming out in thick pants. “You sure don’t look like you hate me now.”

You dug your nails even deeper into his skin and he hissed, snatching your wrists and forcing them over your head, pinning you down and never faltering in his rhythm.

“How does it feel?” He asked, squeezing your wrists and breathing down your neck. “How does it feel knowing I’m fucking you into the mattress of the man you love?”

You tugged at your makeshift restraints and knew you were trapped, he was stronger than he looked, but even if you could break free you didn’t really want to. Your face burned in embarrassment, hearing him mock your feelings.

“What would he think about you?” His voice got lower and closer to your ear. “What would he think knowing that you long for him, and you fucked the first person who showed you any attention because you’re just that desperate. “

He punctuated his words with hard thrusts, sweat forming on his brow and temples as his hair fell into his face. He swallowed up your needy moans in a kiss.

“You’re so fucking stupid.” He laughed breathlessly as he pulled away. “Look at what I’m doing to you. You could have had this all along.”

Something about that sentence rattled your brain, and you tried to focus on what he meant, but the way he was driving into you and holding you down made it difficult to concentrate.

“All this time running after Soobin when I was right here.” He growled, and a very real anger clouded his eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, but he made it very clear he wasn’t joking when his motions became more purposeful.

“I wanted you as soon as I laid eyes on you.” He huffed out a breath. “And you couldn’t stand me.”

You were caught between listening to his confession and trying to hold on to your sanity with what he was doing with your body, and hearing the pure and unmistakable wanting in his voice spurned on your arousal.

“Now look at you,” That deviant smile came back. “You’re mine now.”

He let go of your arms and one hand encircled your throat. He didn’t squeeze too tight, just enough to get your attention and make you moan in approval.

“Isn’t that right, pretty girl?” He asked, and the tiniest hint of praise that hit your ears made you squirm and cry out under him.

“Yes.” You responded without hesitation, rocking against him and letting him grind down into you.

“Yeah? You like me taking care of this aching cunt and making it mine?”

You moaned in response, nodding your head in his hand and gazing up at him with a wanton stare. You realized the power you held in that moment, giving him exactly what you didn’t know he wanted.

“It’s all yours.”

The fire that lit up his eyes was worth it all, and his mouth crashed down on yours to kiss you with a new kind of fervor, grinding down deeper until his pelvic bone was in the perfect place to stimulate you. He knew exactly what he was doing, rolling his hips up and hitting the right spots until you could feel your release building up inside you.

He could see it in your face, and it only made him work harder. “I want you to come undone. I want to break you.” He rasped, his own ecstasy mounting right behind you.

You latched onto his shoulders and let him guide you to it. “I’m so close, Yeonjun.” You said his name in a way that drove him crazy.

“Then come for me, slut.” That sly grin found its way onto his features, “show me who it belongs to.”

With that it didn’t take long, fingers digging into his shoulders as your back arched and your orgasm hit you hard, washing over you in waves. He leaned down and panted in your ear “that’s it, baby,” and “All for me.”

Relentlessly fucking you through it over-stimulated you until you were a babbling, drunk mess. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down, feeling the vibration of his moans against your collar bone.

“Fuck, I’m-“ He hardly had the time to warn you before it hit him, he slowed down into a gradual, pulsing thrusting motion as he whined out his release in the sweetest way.

He came to a halt and panted against your skin, your limbs all tangled up and chests rising and falling together. It took a long time for your heartbeats to slow down.

He lifted himself up on his hands and looked down at you, softening and twitching inside you still. After the haze of the arousal and the hormones wore off, you felt exposed under his gaze. You wondered if he was angry at you.

But there was a softness in his eyes that worried you more than anything, and you reached up to push his hair back so you could see him better. You locked eyes for a long moment and said nothing.

Finally, he slipped out of you and came to lay down next to you. You grabbed at the nearest cover and pulled it over your body. When you looked over, there was a small smile tugging at the edge of his mouth.

“You can’t hide from me.” He said in a tired, husky voice.

“I can try.” You said, tucking yourself down into the cover, concealing part of your face. He rolled to his side and pulled them up, joining you underneath. Before you could speak again, he reached out and held your cheek in a surprisingly tender motion, and placed an even more tender kiss to your ravaged lips.

“I really didn’t mean for it to go that far.” He said in a near-whisper under the covers. You could only kind of see his face, and his dewy eyes and pouted mouth looked delicate.

“That’s hard to believe.” You whispered back, even quieter than him.

“Well I didn’t expect you to give in so easily.” He chuckled, and you felt yourself get hot with embarrassment.

“Did you mean what you said?” You asked curiously, knowing this was probably the only time he’d be honest about it. Who knows how either of you would feel once the adrenaline wore off completely.

“About you?” He said, and before you could confirm he nodded. “Yeah.”

“You could have just told me.” You offered, and he laughed louder this time.

“My pride wouldn’t let me do that.  Not with how you were always yearning for my best friend.” He sighed and rested his head on his arm.  “Also you hated me, remember?”

“Hate is a strong word.” You offered.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Either way…”

He trailed off and you were both quiet for a moment.

“How do you feel about me now?” He asked, and you thought about it for a moment.

“Hmm, you’re slightly less unbearable now.” You said playfully, and luckily he laughed, too. He reached over and pulled you over by the waist, making a surprised squeak come out of you.

“Well, we’ll have to do this a couple more times. Just to make sure.”

He kissed you, and for the first time in a long time, someone other than Soobin made your hands shake and your heart beat faster.

[redgoldsparks]

January Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut. You might notice the layout image looks different! I have switched to using the Storygraph wrap up and I'm now linking to the Storygraph reviews as well :)

The Sweetness Between Us by Sarah Winifred Searle 

Perley and Amandine are both readjusting to high school life after a major health crisis. Perley was diagnoses with diabetes; Amandine was turned into a vampire after a car crash nearly ended her life. They bond in remedial classes over just wishing their lives could go back to normal. Perley tentatively rejoins the knitting club; Amandine wants to rejoin a sports team but struggles with exhaustion; both of them have less energy than they had before. Their friendship develops into something more, but can they maintain a romance when they are both still figuring out their own shit? This is a very sweet slice of life story with a fun dash of the supernatural. I wanted a little more from some of the queer themes; I spent most of the book unsure of Perley's pronouns. But I was absolutely rooting for these two oddball teens to find their way back to each other.

LaserWriter II by Tamara Shopsin

This is a novel, loosely, but more so it's a little window back into a specific era of repairable technology and the people who were drawn to it. Set almost entirely in a (real, I think) Mac repair shop in New York City in the 1990s, this book jumps from backstory to backstory, introducing a range of self-taught computer fanatics. The cast and the story both feel wide but not deep. I didn't get to know anyone well, not even Claire, the newest hire and lead character. It did give me some serious nostalgia, even though I was really too young in this era to really have any meaningful relationship with it's technology. A weird but charming little book.

The City in Glass by Nghi Vo, read by Susan Dalian

The demon Vitrine has been nurturing, building, challenging and haunting the port city of Azril for hundreds of years when the angels come to burn it to the ground. She tries to defend her people from the heavenly attack but only succeeds in cursing one of angel, embedding a thorn of spite in his side. When his brothers leave, he is forced to stay, and since he has nothing else to do, he watches her begin the long, painful process of cleaning and rebuilding. This is a dreamy stream of consciousness book with less plot that I'm used to from Nghi Vo. I'll admit this one captured me less than her work usually does though the prose is very beautiful.

The Concierge at the Hokkyoku Department Store vol 1 by Tsuchika Nishimura 

Akino is a new hire at the Hokkyoku Department Store, a store build to serve talking animal customers including many unusual and nearly extinct species. Akino must find a way to be present, polite and helpful without hovering or intruding on the customers experience. This is harder than it sounds, especially with fussy managers always watching the store floors! Sweet, silly, and very warm hearted. I like the delicate, retro lineart style.

The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by KJ Charles read by Cornell Collins 

Another fun historical m/m romance from KJ Charles, this one more in the comedy of manners genre. I had a good time with it, I liked the leads, and as usual the secondary characters really shown. I did wish the enemies part of the enemies to lovers plot had lasted a bit longer, and the overall silliness of the story isn't going to make this the first Charles book I rec to anyone unfamiliar with her work, but it kept me entertained.

Noodle and Bao by Shaina Lu 

Momo loves living in Town 99, a historically Chinese neighborhood where she knows everyone and all the best places to eat and hang out. But things are changing. Her parents are worried about making rent, and her favorite restaurant was kicked out of its location and now operates out of a cart. The owner of the new restaurant, Fancé Cafe, has big plans to buy out the whole block and upscale everything. Momo rallies her friends and neighbors to fight back against the gentrification. This is a very sweet book for young readers, with talking animal characters and whimsical food battles interwoven with community organizing. An epilogue explains the issues around gentrification for a child who might not have encountered it before.

Brownstone by Samuel Leer and Mar Julia 

Almudena grew up with her white mom, always wondering about the Guatemalan father she'd never met. Until one summer mid-high school when her mom heads off to Europe for a dance tour and drops her off at the Brooklyn brownstone her father, Xavier, is renovating. Almudena has to navigate around a language barrier, an through unfamiliar neighborhood, and into a close knit Latino community many of whom see her as not brown enough to count. But Almudena is determined not to let this opportunity to know her father slip away. This is such a warmhearted book, funny and kind, with a really well developed cast. The art and the writing make a perfect whole, capturing a deeply specific mid-1990s moment. I've been following the artist's self published releases for years and I'm so happy to see their work shine in a full length book!

Leap by Simina Pepesco 

Ana is a college student in a contemporary dance program in Budapest, but her heart has fallen out of dancing. She skips her own classes to spent time rehearsing with her secret girlfriend, Carina, an ambitious ballerina in the classical program. Her new roommate, Sara, transferred out of classical and into contemporary and is thriving in the new, more supportive environment. She's also starting to develop feelings for the kind teacher, Marlena, who helped her transfer. Both of them are struggling to figure out their relationships with their art, as well as their sexualities, as well as how safe or not safe it feels to be out at their private, gossip-prone school. This is a really well told and well drawn coming of age story; I also really appreciated it as a story of queer friendship which complicated some of the standard narratives around first crushes/first relationships/coming out being kind of anti-climatic, half affirming, half disappointing. Definitely recommend!

Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar 

What a book! Several of my friends called this one of their top reads of last year and I can see why. The book centers around Cyrus Shams, a poet and recovering addict, who was raised in the US by a single father. The pair left Iran when Cyrus was a baby after his mother was killed in a passenger plane, shot down by mistake by the US army. In his late 20s, Cyrus is mostly drifting through life, working weird part time jobs, sometimes writing, trying to stay sober. He wants to write about the concept of martyrdom, about dying for a cause, or what makes people consider a death meaningful. When he hears of a Persian artist literally hosting her last weeks as she dies of cancer in the Brooklyn Museum of Art, Cyrus flies to New York City to speak with her. Their conversations will impact him more than he could ever have dreamed. This is an usually structured book, full of flashbacks, alternate POVs, dream sequences. It's rich with layers of symbolism and meaning, especially with repeated references to names, to lineage, to legacy, the lingering trauma of violence and revolution, and what a life of art demands from the artist. This book surprised and moved me. I'm delighted that it was chosen by my book club, so I've got a lengthy conversation with friends about this book to look forward to!

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde read by Susan Duerden 

The Eyre Affair is a mystery-crime-sci-fi-comedy novel for the literary nerd. It is set in England in an alternate universe version of the 1980s, in which cloning of extinct animals for household pets is common, time travel looked down on as wretched career choice, and literary crimes get their own whole division in the police force. Thursday Next is a veteran of the Crimean War (which has been running more than a century) and a Lit Crimes special agent- her expertise is immediately needed when a priceless Dickens' manuscript is stolen by a thief whose image does not register on film. Things quickly get strange- and also hilarious.

Re-read in 2025: I revisited this after reading and loving Jasper Fforde's stand alone sci-fi novel Early Riser last year. Unfortunately, The Eyre Affair suffered in comparison- the main villain of the book is very weak, and I can now see the pacing issues of this debut novel. I still found it very funny and probably caught more of the classic lit jokes than I did last time, but it's no longer the Fforde novel I'd suggest people start with. Try one of his more recent works! 

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat vol 3 by Sakaomi Yuzaki translated by Caleb Cook

This series just keeps getting more and more adorable! This volume introduced two new characters, and I braced for a moment hoping they wouldn't be rivals to the main couple, who are very slowly beginning to flirt. I should not have doubted!! Both newbies immediately seen that Nomoto and Kasuga are interested in each other and begin to cheer lead/wing man from the sides. Plus, in the author's note, the author talks about selling merch for a Japanese organization supporting marriage equality. I can't wait to read more!