#i just have a weak spot for men w/ long hair

[itadooori]

seen a few people draw s2 gi-hun if he kept the red hair but what if he kept that longass unkempt hair

[awearywritersworld]

men are so quick to blame the gods

ryomen sukuna x reader summary: your boyfriend is a heavy sleeper, leaving you to form an unlikely relationship with the curse occupying his body during the late hours of the night. w/c: 2.6k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. angst/fluff. aged up!yuuji. sa is mentioned but it's pretty much just sukuna saying he doesn't condone it. heavy kissing. obvi features yuuji x reader but it's not at all the focus. cursing. sukuna calls you kitten. i'd like to think he's not too ooc in this but im probably delusional. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: am i rehabbing our handsome vicious psychopath? yes<3 loosely inspired by this post (features manga spoilers) of him being v beautiful and poetic series masterlist // masterlist

humans have always irritated the king of curses— pathetic little vermin scurrying around, utterly oblivious to their own weakness.

so it came as quite a shock to him when he awoke after over a millenia, only to find himself trapped inside the body of some teenaged brat.

nearly 7 years later and he's positive there isn't a person he despises more in the universe. not even the cocky six eyes wielder can elicit sukuna's fury the way itadori yuuji so easily does.

that's why he resolved early on to kill his vessel's pretty little girlfriend, an act he hopes might satiate his spite. he's positive nothing would devastate yuuji more.

luckily for you, life has a funny way of working.

you and yuuji are standing at an intersection in the city, the pink-haired man staring at his phone as he tries to piece together the directions to a new sushi restaurant you've been wanting to try.

when the pedestrian sign on the other side of the street blinks, you step out onto the pavement without checking for oncoming traffic.

"what the-" yuuji's confused voice fills your ears just as a rough hand wraps around your wrist, yanking you backward violently.

a car barrels through the spot you'd just been standing, the driver clearly not paying attention to the traffic signal. you look back just in time to see harsh black marks fading from your boyfriend's arm, though the rest of his body has seemingly remained unblemished.

it's an odd sensation for yuuji because he's never lost control to sukuna in such a manner. he doesn't dwell on it long though, as anger blossoms in his chest.

"do not touch her," he scolds the curse occupying his body.

a mouth appears on his cheek and scoffs. "sure. i'll just let her die next time."

"it's okay, yu," you interject before he can retaliate. "thanks, sukuna. i, uh, appreciate it."

he grumbles something incomprehensible, his mouth quickly disappearing. your boyfriend looks at you bemused, but you only shrug. the fact that yuuji had lost control to sukuna doesn't make you feel nervous or threatened. you're grateful that he kept you from being run over, albeit a bit surprised.

as you continue your walk to the the sushi restaurant, you find yourself not quite able to meet yuuji's eye because... well... you haven't exactly been forthright regarding your relationship with the king of curses.

the first night it happens, you're laying in bed eagerly finishing the final volume of a manga you've been reading. yuuji is fast asleep and has been for hours, though you're used to being the night owl in the relationship.

you keep wiping at your eyes, the cheerful ending tugging at your heartstrings and tying the story together in a beautiful way.

"can you stop with your incessant sniveling? this idiot's brain is so rarely quiet and you're ruining it."

you look over to see the eye beneath your boyfriend's is open, staring at you scornfully.

"can you fuck off?" your tone is obviously meant to mock him. "i'm finishing one of my favorite mangas and you're ruining it."

"need i remind you of your place, brat?" he sneers. "it's dreadfully wretched, crying because you don't like the ending to some stupid story."

"since you're so clearly invested, i'll have you know i'm crying because i do like it."

"..and here i thought you couldn't get any more pathetic."

your eye twitches in annoyance. "just because you're mad about being stuck in 'some idiot human's body' doesn't mean you have to go around projecting your feelings of inadequacy onto other people."

you move your hand to cover the mouth on your boyfriend's cheek before sukuna can respond, hissing out in pain just a moment later.

"oh my god, you actually bit me." you inspect the teethmarks on your palm in disbelief.

"just wait until i win control of this body— the punishment you deserve for such insolence. you'd better hope you're miles away, but even then—"

"holy shit, enough already. i'll go to sleep. enjoy your peace and quiet," you growl angrily, flipping off the lamp and turning away from him. for some reason, you still find yourself mumbling, "good night."

sukuna's eye widens before promptly closing, the silence hanging in the air heavily. it's the longest conversation he's had in years and the first casual pleasantry he's heard in a millenia. he tries to feel satisfied that he got what he wanted in the end, before returning to his quiet solitude.

over the next few months, your late nights are graced somewhat frequently by the king of curses. he mainly complains— the friends you hung out with earlier were annoying, the tv's too loud, it took yuuji twenty minutes to exorcise a curse that sukuna could have dealt with in seconds.

it doesn't bother you nearly as much anymore and he's no longer able to get under your skin like he did that first night. it seems as if he's losing his touch, or perhaps he just isn't trying as hard.

it's around one in the morning, a book resting in your lap while your boyfriend snores softly beside you. sukuna's eye pops open, peering over at the text. "you're reading homer?"

your body jerks, startled by his sudden question, but you recover soon thereafter. "yeah, were you two friends or something?"

"no, you fool," he derides. "he lived far before my time."

though you don't comment on it, you find it amusing that your sarcasm had gone over his head. "oh, you're right. how silly of me to think you had friends."

"such profound witticism. i can hardly contain myself."

you sneak a glance over to find he's narrowed his eye at you and you actually giggle. "sorry."

it doesn't dawn on you how bizarre the interaction is, but sukuna abruptly realizes that something feels different. not once before tonight had he made you laugh.

he pushes the thought from his mind. "i did, however, indulge in his works during the heian period."

"really?" you perk up. it's not often you give him your full attention. "what'd you think?"

"i suppose i liked him well enough. one of my favorite lines comes from the poem you're reading."

you motion your hand for him to continue. "well don't be shy. i'm sitting here with bated breath."

he rolls his eye, but speaks nonetheless.

"men are so quick to blame the gods— they say that we devise their misery..." you realize for the first time how gruff his voice is, the deep reverberations sending a shudder down your spine. "but they themselves, in their depravity, design grief greater than the griefs that fate assigns."

his eye flickers between each of yours before you look back to your book, fiddling with the corner of the page. you're suddenly feeling rather shy. "does that mean you think humans are even crueler than you?"

he muses over your question briefly.

"if i recounted how men would flee the villages i burned, leaving their families behind in a selfish attempt to save themselves.. who would you find more revolting?

you swallow nervously. "i.. i don't know."

"what if i told you of the men who would eagerly offer their wives and daughters to me, hoping i'd spare them.. who would you deem more wicked?"

you're so busy avoiding his gaze that you don't see the way he carefully regards you. a question you're unsure you want the answer to tumbles from your lips before you can stop it. "did you accept? the.. the husbands' offers—"

"no," he responds. "i have little interest in unwilling partners."

"oh. well that's, um, good."

he hums in response, leaving you to process everything he's told you.

"you should stop," you blurt out eventually.

"stop what?"

"being nice to me." you wouldn't normally consider discussing literature then reminiscing about the egregious stories of his past life particularly kind, but then again, it is sukuna you're speaking with. "it's weird."

he rolls his eye again. "you're hardly in any position to be giving me orders, you insufferable brat."

"see? that's much better."

"why are you crying?" his tone is even, conveying neither annoyance or concern. truthfully, he has no idea what compelled him to ask in the first place.

you don't answer, hoping he'll leave you alone. you really don't have it in you tonight, even if sukuna's been much more tolerable recently. it's been weeks since you finished reading homer's epic poem.

the moon is already setting and it's just a few days before your date at the sushi restaurant.

when you sniffle again, he calls your name. you don't register that he doesn't say brat or idiot. it's the first time he's used your actual name.

"w-what do you want?"

"i seem to recall asking you a question."

you're laying on your side, facing away from yuuji and by extension, sukuna.

"i'm not crying," you declare.

sukuna briefly wonders why he's stuck dealing with you while yuuji sleeps, but his inward 'annoyance' is half hearted. "you're an awful liar."

you exhale and turn to look at him. the only light in the room is coming from the tv, but it's enough that he can see you clearly. "sometimes.. i can't help but worry about the execution."

yuuji has told you countless times that gojo has a plan, that he won't let anything happen, but you know what the higher ups are capable of.

and while it's down right shameful, you know that much, it's not only your boyfriend you worry about these days. sukuna's become so commonplace in your life, you almost look forward to talking with him at night.

"the thought of losing yuuji... of losing.. you.. it scares me," you murmur.

your words stir up feelings he's never once experienced and it's confusing to him. "i'd have figured you'd at least be pleased to be rid of me."

"well, i-i kind of thought we were friends now," you share without thinking.

"don't flatter yourself."

he regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth and the guilt he feels as he watches your face fall is unbecoming of a being so powerful. you apologize meekly, shifting (too late) to hide your hurt.

he can't remember a moment in which he's hated being trapped in his vessel's god forsaken body more. he wants to reach out to you, even if the idea feels entirely foreign to him.

but he can't, so he just sighs. "if you think i'm going to let a few feebleminded sorcerers execute me and the brat, you're even more foolish than i thought."

you peer at him, the smallest smile gracing your lips when you realize that's probably as close to an apology as sukuna would ever get.

"promise?"

for fuck's sake. he feels utterly pathetic. completely deplorable. laughable, even—

"yes," he states impassively. "now go to sleep."

"okay." your smile is just a little wider as your fingertips brush the spot below his eye and above his mouth. you wonder if he can even feel it. "good night, sukuna."

"...night, brat."

less than a week after sukuna saves your life at the intersection, yuuji kisses you goodbye as he heads out to a mission. he assures you he'll be early tonight, as he only has to exorcise a semi-grade one cursed spirit in roppongi.

though things don't go quite as planned because in addition to the semi-grade, he finds himself standing before two special grades. he manages to defeat one of the special grades, but the other two leave him badly hurt, his breathing labored.

he has to beg sukuna to switch out with him. the king of curses hasn't forgotten his promise to you and he's no fool— it's clear this is an ambush by the higher ups— but he'll be damned if he wasn't going to have a little fun with the brat first.

he makes quick work of the curses, each of them going rigid with fear as soon as he appears, and it soon becomes apparent that yuuji is too weakened to take back control of his body just yet.

at last, sukuna has his long yearned for freedom and a new world at his fingertips, but there's just one problem... all he wants to do is find you.

when the lock to your apartment clicks, your eyes shift to the door, an excited grin on your face. you can't hide your shock when it isn't your boyfriend that steps inside.

you don't say anything at first, simply following his frame across the room as he approaches you. he leans against the wall a few feet away from where you're sitting on the couch, folding his arms across his chest.

"seems your concerns about the execution weren't unwarranted."

"w-what?!" you exclaim, rising to your feet and taking a step toward him. "what happened?"

he relays the story to you, emphasizing how 'unimpressive' yuuji's power was and how 'terribly simple' it was for him to finish the job his vessel couldn't.

you narrow your eyes at him, only half joking when you ask, "what are you doing here, then? shouldn't you be off pillaging tokyo or something?"

he chuckles. "such a dark mind you have. it wounds me to hear you assume the worst of me."

you bite your lip to hide your smile. "just figured it'd save time."

he closes the space between you and though you can feel the heat radiating from his body, you don't shy away from him. instead, your eyes trail over the dark lines adorning his face and chest.

he reaches up and your breath catches in your throat when the back of his fingers ghost over your neck. his nails graze your skin and a sly smirk forms on his face. "aren't you frightened? it'd be all too easy to kill a little thing like you."

"but you won't."

he can't tell if your assuredness pisses him off, but it certainly makes his heart rate pick up. his hand now occupies the space where your neck meets your shoulder, his touch surprisingly gentle. "what has you so convinced?"

"well you saved me, didn't you? and.. and you kept your promise."

he hums in response and your hand seems to act of its own accord when it reaches up to rest atop his. any lingering sense of amusement is gone in an instant, the air now fraught with tension.

"so why are you here, sukuna?" you murmur.

the king of curses has never known goodness. he's wrought untold destruction and misery, his name inspiring fear even after millenia. he's a legend— a god, even— yet here you are staring up at him and he swears the look in your eyes is almost tender.

"i don't know."

"and you had the nerve to call me an awful liar."

you know you're taking a risk when you lean up and press your lips to his. he freezes for a moment before his mouth begins to move against yours tentatively. his arm stays at his side, so you grab his hand, moving it to your waist.

it's as if that flips a switch in sukuna. he backs you up against the wall somewhat roughly and you can feel him smile against your lips when you let out a squeak of surprise.

he uses the opportunity to take your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging at it before moving to your neck with the intention of leaving a trail of marks across your delicate flesh.

you know you should care, but you just can't bring yourself to tell him to stop. you're too preoccupied with the feeling. he revels in the little gasps he's pulling from your throat, in the way you grab weakly at his biceps.

"you are divine, kitten," he growls. "been waiting so long to touch you."

just as he finishes speaking, he pulls back a few inches and his body stiffens.

"damn it. not now, you stupid brat—"

the words die in his throat as the black lines begin to fade and you're met with the perplexed face of your boyfriend. he breaths out your name, clearly worried. "what.. what happened?"

[neuvistar]

how are they in bed? 18+ minors do not interact !

— featuring ┊honkai star rail, genshin impact, jujutsu kaisen, blue lock, omniscient reader’s viewpoint men x afab!reader !

tags: @yanqingisim

your body was supported by the pillows he put beneath you, catching your lips in his before cupping your chin as he kept an arm around your waist. pulling away from your lips briefly after as he let your foreheads touch. his thrusts are steady and romantic, you could even sense passion in them as well.. like he’s fucking you with love, with emotion almost. he wanted you to feel them, to feel the love in his slow and sensual thrusts.. he can’t help it. his hands are already on your hips, angling them just right as his cock slips perfectly inside your drenched cunt. his kisses are filled with love too, planting them all over your body while you thread your fingers in his hair, small yet sweet whimpers leaving your lips. “is this alright? i’m— fuuck.. not hurting you too much now, am i?”

listen. trust me babes.. he’s gentle. and i don’t mean gentle, i mean gentle. gentle as in he treats you like a gem that should be treasured and protected, holding you like you were a feather of some sort. i assure you he loves to make sure that you’re taking him alright, reassuring you that you’re doing great.. asking you questions if he’s being too rough or if he should slow down. he takes his sweet time with you, making sure he worships every single detail and every single thing about you.. he wants you to be comfortable and he wants this to be the most comfortable experience for you. he makes sure that he caresses and kisses literally every single part of you, he’s not letting a spot go untouched.. his hands are gonna be all over you! of course they are, they’re filled with love and pure affection.. all for you. he’s definitely prepared and has a whole plan ready for aftercare afterwards, he’s just.. so sweet ! all for you too ! this man treats you like royalty during aftercare it’s so sweet, his aftercare is ON TOP i tell you <3 he never disappoints with how caring he is towards you whenever he finishes dicking you down for the night.. haha.

— SUGURU GETO, NEUVILLETTE, ARATAKI ITTO, kaeya alberich, KAVEH, nanami kento, KAEDEHARA KAZUHA, dan heng, SHIKANOIN HEIZOU, GEPARD, JING YUAN, luocha, KIM DOKJA, THOMA

tbh w u.. he said that he’d be gentle but he isn’t! honestly tho he doesn’t mean to be all rough in the first place! he just loves how addicting it is to have your pussy pulse around his dick like it’s nothing, he loves how good it feels when his cock twitching inside for more, in other words.. he’s more desperate rather than rough but whatever we’ll use the word rough in this scenario! of course though, he won’t be too rough that it would hurt.. but as long as you’re fine with it and he sees that you’re taking his cock nicely with no complications, it’s no problem for him. but yet.. his thrusts are fast yet enough to satisfy your needs, enough to drive you crazy as your knuckles turned white from clutching down at the soft surface of the pillow beneath you for support.

he just can’t help it. he fucks you from behind, that sweet yet dangerous expression on his face was enough to catch you off guard! how can he look so nice but fuck you like his life depended on it? it always seemed to confuse you! i’m pretty sure he’s capable of lasting a few rounds or so as long as you’re okay with them. on top of that, he’s good at using his cock.. he knows the right places to hit and the right places to make you weak, he loves taking you from the back so he can see just how roughly he’s being with you, especially with how hot you look with his dick repeatedly sliding in and out of your cunt at a quickened pace, you were always taking it like an absolute champ! i’m sure you didn’t expect him to be rough in bed, but he didn’t either! he didn’t even know he had this side in him until now! but who knows? maybe he wasn’t aware of the lust within his body until he got to experience it himself.

— kamisato ayato, TOJI FUSHIGURO, sampo koski, SHIU KONG, al-haitham, OLIVER AIKU, BLADE, wriothesley, RYUSEI SHIDOU, il dottore, capitano, PANTALONE

ah yes. here we have the guys who just take in your sounds and savour the feeling. tbh, these guys are in the middle.. if you want them to be tough, they’ll be rough! if you want them to be gentle, they’ll be gentle! they can play both, but if he’s actually dicking you down for the night.. i can guarantee that his eyes would be on you the entire time.. keeping tracks of your movements to check for any discomforts in your facial expressions or body language. he wants to make you feel good, yes.. but he also wants to savour in the feeling of your pussy hugging his dick too! he’s so calm during the moment, the sounds of bed squeaking and skin slapping against one another.. followed by your heavy panting and his soft grunts were the only things you could both hear. he fucks you at the pace he likes, or the pace you prefer. he doesn’t mind pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow and he certainly doesn’t mind taking it slow with you.. allowing you to savour in the moment further.

like i said, he can be what you prefer. if you want him to be rough, he’ll be rough. if you want him to take it slow and be gentle, he’ll be gentle. honestly, he might just be a teeny tiny bit quiet during the moment as well. he’s either getting lost in the moment and obsessing over just how good it feels to pound you like how ever wants to or he forces himself to stay quiet just so he can hear those pretty moans that leave your lips, knowing just how damn good hes fucking you. like i said, he’s not that verbal but that doesn’t mean he won’t let a few grunts or two escape his throat! he just wants to hear you whisper his name under your breath while he bullies his dick further inside your walls until his whole length fits! ++ his aftercare is also great i bet <3

— YOO JOONGHYUK, SATORU GOJO, cyno, SCARAMOUCHE,, XIAO, tighnari, pantalone, dainsleif, CHILDE, BAIZHU, SAE ITOSHI, albedo, CHOSO KAMO, diluc ragnvindr, welt yang, ZHONGLI

[honeyydrunk]

reasons for some of the jjk men on why i would and wouldn't fuck them. i think now would be a good time to mention that uh i'm not going to be saying no to anyone. gege akutami knew what would sell.

starting off strong with GOJO SATORU daddy's home home for me i know i've been waiting no lube no protection all night all day any position any location any time no matter what he asks even if it hurts me i'll just endlessly over and over again go towards you.

now WHY would i climb the beanstalk? let's go through the reasons. - he's hot i remember the teacher giving him her number - he's tall bro was planned to be made into a coathanger bc of those japanese genetics defying legs. and you know if he's tall then proportionately..... - he's fast in 299 seconds gojo satoru had slaughtered a train's worth of transfigured humans - his voice "you cryin?" "this is where you're weak right?" it doesn't matter i watched jjk in sub, i went onto youtube and listened to the uploaded audios of the dub

but why i'm not fucking that man until failure 😔 ?! - i'm not geto suguru. i may be delusional but i'm not blind. even kenjaku wasn't able to sway him, and he WAS suguru. - he's too whimsical for my liking. bro would answer a call while midstroke, teleport out, then return like 30 minutes later with souvenirs and go "yeah let's continue!!"

🎀 nanami kento 🎀 to me it's not just sex. i wish to marry someone like him. i'm ridiculously close to manifesting 'a husband like nanami kento'. as someone who let's just say is situated in the finance sector, no one wants that man more than me. it's embarrassing how nanami is like a living cheat code to everything i've ever wanted.

oh for to be a lawyer representing his office firm, occasionally coming in every few months and parading in mini skirts and high heels. acting as if we're only acquaintances during the meeting. and after the deposition we end up in the backseat of his car during his lunch break. seriously hoping no one from the office comes down and decides to check why his car is 'moving' like that. 🎀 why i'm going to give him 'marry me head' 🎀 (this is going to be a long list)

- he's a tall guy in finance. - he's blonde but in a hot way - his technique is finding someone's weak spots. - he's absolutely built - he takes things seriously. bro would take you throughly. - i have a thing for successful men - he pulls hair - he kills curses effortlessly - he's very good at being relaxed while in a fight - island holiday sex - that office attire with the suit does things - when he takes off the tie and wraps it around his hand, he should be wrapping it around my wrists. - he likes bread? i can give him cake - oh his job must be so stressful isn't it such a good thing i'm really good at massages - stability in this economy is like the hottest thing istfg - i've never seen a not HAWT nanami cosplayer (no one try and prove me wrong) - when he's mad it's crazy hot

why i'm sadly not riding that man until he places a ring on my finger in the malaysian sunset? - he wouldn't want a relationship. not because he doesn't desire one, but due to the demanding nature jujutsu sorcery, not only would that drain him out too much to care, but also because he wouldn't want to put his partner through the mental challenges of not knowing whether he'd return alive or death. and the mental challenges it would give his partner if he died. - i'm not 27. he gives me the horrific (for me) vibes that he'd only consider a relationship with someone who he's the same age as. - my japanese skills are really bad that makes communication in a relationship a problem.

🙈 geto suguru 🙈 hes beautiful, getting slightly too close to my type for comfort, but whether i could ignore my grievances with his lifestyle choices is yet to be debated. i have a lot of grievances with that why i would beg him to consider a one night stand w this monkey?!: - tall hot built how many times am i going to have to say tall hot built throughout this post. we KNOW the jjk men are fine. for sex the standard really is just if they're hot. - his hair his soft long black flowing princess hair everyday i thank twice and loona stans for existing. your lesbianism has stolen the scissors away from the hands of men. thank you for your service..

- he's so soft when treating people he likes i like people being nice to me

- i hate the clothes he wears as a cult leader are you pregnant with all those curses you're swallowing? like the way kenjaku definitely didn't swallow. because that outfit looks like villain maternity wear. the only upside is that it makes me even more motivated to get that man OUT of his clothes.

- something about his gentleman type personality with his either cult leader flair or his extreme dedication has me going crazy delusional as with nanami i am weak to men that have corporate expertise. it should scare me the way i cave. like okay i'll bleach my hair white and get blue contacts if that's what it takes to have you. please charm me and make me delusional

- he's hot while killing people aside from financially successful gentlemen, unfortunately i have the horrific ailment of snapping the minute i see a crazy guy with blood on his face that kills people with ease. and that one scene where he DECIMATED that guy and wiped the blood of his cheek ruined me

why i'm staying far FAR FAR FAR away - i may relate to gojo satoru but i'm not him bro isn't touching me. i'm not his blue eyed the strongest bc i'm gojo because i'm the strongest coat hanger overconfident sweet lover hates moral arguments high school bittersweet situationship.

- i actually HATE his moral argument due to the balance of equilibrium and market forces whatever, if jujutsu sorcerers were meant to be the prevailing thingy then they would be so. i could go into more detail but let's just say i couldn't be gojo because how could i be so selfless to let the situationship of my life go to chase a dream he'll never achieve for an argument that's wrong because he feels it to be more important than me. - he's got the megumi potential man effect "worst curse user" R U SRS? be fr. i know he handed tokyo student's asses back to them but i think he's just a heartbroken guy who's a little bad and has a goal or whatever. bro is NOT the worst curse user. - can't figure out if i would mind lobotomied geto or not. but he would definitely be freakier after those backshots he took. - his mouth probably tastes like a rag used to clean shit and vomit - to my knowledge i am not a jujutsu sorcerer

choso !! choso !! choso !! why i would?! OFC I WOULD

- this again at some point saying tall hot and built starts to get too repetitive. but when he pulled his clothing to the side during that fight with yuuji, i was staring for TOO LONG. - i think his blackhead pore strip is cute. - his personality is ridiculously cute. obviously this may sound odd but i think we can gather i'm rather odd. in MY opinion, it's cute. like idk his sincerity in his choices is very cute. - i know i could make him blush so easily.

why i wouldn't.... (unfortunately) - i'm not his brother if there's one thing i know about that man is that he is dedicated to his brothers. he will not hear anything i have to say and simply ignore me for i am not his brother i am a random person. - i don't want to carry on kenjaku's bloodline - family reunions w that man would be ridiculous - the cursed womb paintings 1-3 is a concept i don't wish to partake in

fushiguro toji he's a real one. didn't like his family so he finds himself a cute wife. he's absolutely goated w those skills. his choices with child raising leave me seriously concerned with what might happen after our sexual activities. i mean the minute he realises who megumi was after he resurrected he just went and killed himself. CRAZY. but yeah i'd fuck him - he's built - he's built - he had to make megumi somehow - bros got grey sweatpants and a compression shirt - he has that heavenly pact for physical prowess he should USE IT - lowkey like how the scar looks - he wants to hit core this is one way to do it - he's built - i can tell he would be good in bed call it a 7th sense

why i wouldn't: - he'd steal everything i own while i'm asleep - id have to pay him to fuck me - i am not his original wife, he's not going to want me. - i don't want those crazy zenin clan freaks knowing who i am - do i want him to traumatise my kid when hes revived again? - i don't like gambling addictions

sukuna ryomen.....

would...... - 4 arms - 2 dicks - doesn't he have a tongue on his stomach? - built - king of curses he can be the king of this pussy - i wanna ride him so bad while he sits on that throne of his - ngl whatever that white kimono he wears is hot - his voice - he's lowkey funny - he's hot i'm not even going to bother denying

why i wouldn't: - i'm not megumi - bro would kill me before i ask him if i can suck him off - why would he agree? - if i survived i feel i would be severely looked down upon for this choice of mine

mahito.... (hella ashamed for this not even lying) would: - he's built - he can change his body to anything wouldn't: - he'd kill me and he's not like nanami where death would be worth it for him

@saradika TSYM !! i googled and found the free spacers

next "why i wouldn't and wouldn't" will be the neos the nct boys (however long that takes with HOW MANY? members?)

[kytiapseud]

Gaze, Chapter 3

Chapter list Next

Pairing: Roman/Logan/Virgil

Wordcount: 2589

Warning: blood drinking

Notes: A Role Reversal inspired by @edupunkn00b 's work 'Beside Me'.

“WHAT THE HELL!?”

Roman jolted awake,  instinctively reaching for…something in defense. His sleep addled brain didn’t have to make sense.

“Who the hell are you!?” A man dressed in a black jacket and pants stood by Logan’s side of the bed. The man glared at the bandage on his neck.

“And what the hell did you do to him!?” He was visibly shaking with rage, tightly clenched fists trembling. He marched closer to the bed.

“You fucking fed from him!? He’s not an all you can drink buffet! He hasn’t fed for months, and you’re just selfish enough to-to”

The man let out an enraged growl. He reached over Logan to shove at Roman’s side with the clear intention to push Roman out of the bed. Apparently it hadn’t registered to him that Logan still had an arm wrapped around Roman. Logan was able to quickly catch Roman before he could be moved much.

Logan brought his other hand to Virgil’s wrists and pushed them away from Roman.

“Vee, this isn’t necessary. It’s alright, shh,�� Logan’s voice was low and weak but still reverberated through both men. Pulling their attention away from each other, Virgil’s aggressive motions stopping. Both of their eyes fixed on Logan’s silver portals.

“This was my choice, Vee. There is no need to accost Roman on my behalf.”

Vee scrambled onto the bed and crawled between them, glaring at Roman. Roman glared back for a second, angry at the other man’s actions towards him. But then Vee’s human scent made itself well known to Roman, his attention pulling towards Vee’s pulse. The newly turned vampire moved as far away from the pair as he could. He hoped he could suppress his growing urge to get closer to Vee’s alluring scent. The pair could probably use the space anyways.

Vee gently took one of Logan’s hands with his own and placed a reverent kiss to the back of it. His lip starting to tremble.

“L? L…if you had wanted to sire someone, why was I not-“

Logan moved his hand up, pressing soft fingertips to Vee’s lips.

“Shhh, shh, shhh, my sweet storm…it wasn’t like that.”

“But I can see he has a bandage on his neck!...L, I don’t…I don’t understand,” Vee’s voice cracked with desperation. His trembling lip finally gave way to tears that dripped down his cheeks.

“Why him and not me!?...did-did I do s-something w-wrong?” His voice broke during the last question, growing quieter.

Logan gave Vee a sad look which turned into a sad smile. He cupped his cheek and brushed away tears with his thumb.

“Vee, my little spider, he was dying. I had…” he sighed shakily, his hand trembled and abruptly fell back to the bed. Like he’d lost the energy to keep it up. Roman gasped. He saw now how weak Logan had become. Logan had seemed good at acting otherwise. It felt like just another moment Roman had missed something important.

 Roman reached out to touch Logan. He craved touch with Logan and felt the need to comfort. To reassure both himself and…his sire-the title made him shiver-that they would keep him safe. Vee did not seem to get the sentiment. He ground his teeth and hissed at Roman, his gaze boring holes at the spot where Roman’s fingers grazed Logan’s arm. As though he was not worthy to touch him.

Logan raised a shaking hand back to Vee’s face, drawing his attention again.

“I had to save him.”

Vee threw himself into Logan’s arms, shaking with sobs.

“I know you do not want me anymore, but you need to feed, L. You have waited too long. I worry about you growing weaker…”

Logan’s fingers danced through Vee’s hair. He turned his head away from the exposed skin around Vee’s open collar. As he couldn’t pull away while holding the sobbing man.

Roman saw Logan’s lips part slightly though. His tongue scraped across his teeth as a pulse point on Vee’s neck distracted him. The thrum of his working heart pounded into both vampires’ ears. How can Logan stand to be so close without-

“I am right here, L! Let me help you please.”

Vee put both hands on either side of Logan’s face and pulled him toward his neck,

“Please, please…” his begging increased in volume. Logan’s control shattered. A low growl escaped his throat and he lunged forward. He plunged white, sharp fangs into the man’s willing flesh right before him.

Roman watched, transfixed. There was a feralness to the drinking, but also an intimacy. His hunger produced an image of holding Vee in his own arms, tasting him. But he also envisioned himself as being in Vee’s place. He longed for it. Being held immobilized in Logan’s grasp as he brought life back to his sire.

-

A stillness fell over the room afterwards. Staying planted on the edge of Logan’s bed during the feeding as a strain to his willpower. He didn’t even know if it would be safe for two vampires to feed from one human at once. Better safe than sorry. He stayed in that spot as he watched the other pair. Logan gently wrapped himself around a now smiling and honestly tipsy looking Vee. Vee gazed up at Logan with hooded, unfocused eyes, grinning. His head nestled into the crook of his elbow, fingers dancing over his chest.

From the whirlwind of the whole encounter with Vee, Roman hadn’t really gotten the chance to find out who he was. Why was there another man here? Why had  Logan not mentioned it? Well, Roman supposed he hadn’t been here long yet himself. It probably hadn’t just come up yet.

As he took him the way Vee looked up at Logan, a sinking realization came to him.

“He really loves you,” Roman murmured, trying not to let sadness show in his voice as he watched them both. It would be just like Roman to mistake something for what it was not. He did it with Yann. But this had felt more intimate. Maybe Logan had just been comforting Roman with his physical affection. To make up for the trauma of everything that had happened the night before. He couldn’t fault him there.

Logan stroked Vee’s mussed, brown locks with tender care. But he frowned slightly at what Roman said and shook his head.

“Virgil’s devotion isn’t love.”

Virgil? What an interesting name.

Logan looked up at Roman and there was a great deep darkness behind his eyes. Roman has seen that look before. Despair.

Logan sighed.

“There’s something you should know about vampires.”  Logan hesitated and glanced at Virgil again. Like he wanted to make sure the other was asleep for whatever this topic was. Logan nodded to himself then continued, if slightly quieter.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve felt something like it before, especially since a vampire has fed from you. We have the natural ability to lure humans into our power. It is not a conscious ability at it’s core. It’s referred to as a thrall. The main way it takes hold is through direct eye contact. I tried to stop it from happening, but Virgil has fallen into my thrall. My voice and my eyes…they hold him in their power.”

He looked back at Virgil’s blissful face. His eyes had fallen shut as he starts to dip into slumber.

“The bite only enhances it,” Logan said with a heavy sigh.

“After a while, it does more than just give pleasure…Our bites bind mortals to us if we feed from them too often. That is often the case for some vampires. The humans they keep for feeding are under thralls. It is why when humans are with vampires, and they feed them more than once, others can view that human as the vampire’s pet,”

Logan said the word pet with disgust, his face scrunching up. He shook his head.

Logan stroked Virgil’s cheek. Even in sleep, Virgil leaned into the touch. The motion coming across as more catlike.

“I’ve been trying to ease him off, but after today…” Logan hung his head, shaking it.

“Virgil would rather die than leave me. I would not presume what your definition of love is, but to me that’s not love.”

“No, I get it,” Roman said. He watched Virgil lay in Logan’s arms. He moved closer to the pair. The heavy scents of blood, spice, and musk stroked into his whole body though. He fought to steady his breathing. Questions. That would be a good distraction.

“Pardon me if I’m not understanding this correctly, but this doesn’t look at least like its entirely like a bad thing. He seems happy staying here as he offers himself to you, and…well you do need to feed…”

Logan drew his hand through Virgil’s hair.

“There is more to the thrall as well. It has, well, changed him. A little at first each day. At first I even thought he was better in some ways. Not his personality of course, I liked him as he was. Just, he struggles with anxiety. When the thrall first started to set in, he almost seemed like his worries floated away. But they hadn’t. They just changed. I think a way one could describe how his behavior has come towards me is codependent. The type of things that distress him now are usually related to me. Such as the mere possibility I’m not okay. If I don't appear perfectly happy with him all the time. He doesn't like when I’m not with him, and when I don’t want to feed from or turn him. It’s only been a few years, but he is a different man than the one I first met. I’ve changed him.”

Roman started to edge closer to them again. He felt for Logan. He wanted to ease some of the pain that had come across his features if he could. But as he shifted on the bed, the slight movement brought Virgil to stir in his sleep. This captured Roman’s attention. He took in a shaky breath, accidentally getting a lungful of the sweet scent of the man’s sweat, heat, flesh…and blood. Virgil’s shirt had twisted from his stirring. The neck of his shirt pulled to expose a long swath of skin from his neck and down to his chest.

Roman’s senses zeroed in on the exposed human man before him for a moment. He almost felt a thrum like he had a heartbeat as all he could focus on was the laying Virgil. His mouth fell open and his arms twitched as he felt drawn to grab the other. To pull him close and sink his teeth into that perfect-

“Roman,” Logan’s magical voice cut through the mess of static his brain had become. Conscious thought snapped back to Roman’s head. Roman panted, catching his breath. He looked at his hands and saw where his fingers had started to grip Virgil’s shirt. He had actually started to pull Virgil towards him, or he almost had. Roman let go and yanked his hands back with a gasp. Although the air still filled with that temptation just made his throat burn. His body’s needs made itself clear. Roman could feel the heat pouring off Virgil’s warm flesh, where he had touched now burning his skin. 

“Oh gosh. I’m so sorry Logan! I-I didn’t mean…” Roman put a hand to his mouth, where blood would be if he had done what he’d been imagining he would. He took a shaking breath and tried to scoot away from them again. He fell onto the bed. His arms wrapped around himself. He tucked his trembling hands against his stuttering ribs.

Logan gave Roman a sympathetic look. He lifted Virgil easily yet still with care as he positioned him on his other side. Virgil settled into the new position with a soft sigh. He cuddled against Logan’s side while his arm was still around Virgil’s shoulders. Logan opened his other arm to Roman.

“It is alright, my prince. Come if you’d like,” Logan said. Roman gasped with relief at the forgiveness. He nearly teared up as he quickly shuffled into Logan’s embrace. He buried his head against Logan’s chest. The movement closely mirrored Virgil’s from earlier. Logan held him close and murmured into Roman’s hair.

“You stopped before you touched him,” Logan alternated his words with gentle kisses.

“There’s no real harm done.” Logan carded his fingers through Roman’s hair, which caused a shiver to run down from Roman’s scalp to his spine. Logan continued his gentle motions, but shifted them to make sure he could look Roman in the eye.

“You’re young…and these early days especially can be overwhelming.” Logan paused and moved his hand to the side of Roman’s face.

“I’d planned to introduce you to Virgil a little later,” Logan said with a sigh.

“It would have been beneficial to wait until after you had more time to adjust to your new…needs.”

Logan turned his head to glance at Virgil.

“I should have known he would catch on something was different sooner. I had wanted to explain the situation to him in a calmer space for both of us. He has grown more impatient to see me overtime though.”

Logan wasn’t sure what would have roused Virgil from his slumber though.  

 Roman frowned a little. his own instincts drawing him to Virgil were confusing. He didn't know what he actually thought of Virgil.

“…I’m not sure if we’re going to get along,” Roman said. Yet he could still feel a pull towards the mortal. Thankfully with Logan between them, it had become more manageable. Reduce to a low thrum against his body, it as easier for Roman to ignore…mostly.

Logan looked back to Roman.

“I’ll stay away from him,” Roman said. Logan hummed.

“That as not a great first impression, I’m sure. Virgil is protective. He as also not a big people person even before the thrall starting affecting him. Yet, I am hoping you may find other interactions with him won’t go as poorly once he knows you’re not going to drink me dry. At least, not as aggressively.”

 It wouldn’t surprise Logan if Virgil as anxious and super apologetic. Yet he was also likely to double don on staying wary of Roman. But they’d never had a situation like this before.

Logan watched Virgil sleep for a few more moments before returning his gaze to Roman. 

“He will likely sleep for several more hours. Would you be up for going to another room? We have a lot to talk about,” Logan said.

Roman nodded and quickly slid off the bed to stand next to it.

“Of course,” Roman said.

Logan twisted to carefully slide his arm free from underneath Virgil’s head. He drew the covers over Virgil and pressed a kiss to his forehead. He then slid across the bed towards Roman and stood.

“We should let him sleep.” Logan then turned and opened a nightstand drawer. He retrieved a shimmering dark blue silk scarf. He laid it on the pillow next to Virgil and let one end rest on Virgil’s open palm.

Roman blinked at the gesture. As though reading the question on his mind, Logan explained,

“It’s a little signal between us, so he knows he’s not alone. It also reassures him that it’s okay to come find me when he wakes.” Logan then motioned toward the door. He took Roman’s hand and led him out of his bedroom, closing the door behind them quietly.   

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Stars, she was pathetic.

Adria had kept up a farce for weeks, pretending to be fine, pretending that everything was normal. But deep down, she knew the truth. She was spiraling. The memory of that Hylian woman flirting with Ganondorf replayed over and over in her mind, twisting her stomach every time she thought about it. The intense loathing she felt for herself made her sick. She refused to let herself become what she had been once before—a woman so consumed by feelings for someone who would never be hers, someone who would eventually destroy her.

That’s why she began to distance herself from Ganondorf.

She made excuses to avoid training with Kotake and Koume, even though the two Gerudo sisters would give her strange looks when she declined. If she spotted Ganondorf in the hallways, she would quickly turn the other direction, feigning an urgent task to complete. Every interaction with him was cut short with a polite excuse about needing to work. It hurt—it physically hurt to do this, like she was ripping out her own heart piece by piece, but she couldn’t go back to the person she had been in college. She wouldn’t let another long-haired man lead her to ruin.

So, when she was invited to a party with the soldiers and people of the castle, Adria had accepted the invitation without hesitation. A night of dancing, drinking, and laughter was exactly what she needed to forget—if only for a little while.

The party was lively. The makeshift dance floor was packed with people spinning, clapping, and laughing together. Adria threw back a drink, feeling her head pleasantly light as the tension from the past few days began to melt away. Someone handed her another drink, and soon, she was laughing again, swept into the rhythm of the room. The music swelled, and before she knew it, she was pulled onto the dance floor. She may not know how to properly dance, but drinking seemed to loosen up her feet and those around her were more into moving to the music rather than proper dancing anyway.

She spun with one partner, then another, and then another, twirling between soldiers and castle staff with reckless abandon. It felt good to let go. One man, with kind eyes and a gentle smile, took her hand, spinning her with ease. Adria laughed, her heart feeling light for the first time in weeks. 

But then, a shadow loomed over them.

Adria barely had time to react before the man's grip on her slackened, and she felt herself being swept off her feet. Literally. A pair of strong arms lifted her off the ground, and the world tilted as she was carried away from the dance floor. Her heart raced, and she looked up, half expecting one of the guards, but instead, her breath caught in her throat.

Ganondorf.

The Demon King himself was carrying her as if she weighed nothing at all, his jaw set in a hard line, his eyes dark with something she couldn't quite place. Anger? No. Something more dangerous than that. Something like... Why did he look like that?

"W-What are you doing?" she stammered, struggling to find her voice as the crowd parted around them, all eyes on the towering Gerudo Chieftain as he strode through the room with her in his arms.

"Removing you from an undesirable situation," Ganondorf replied, his voice low and commanding, not stopping as he carried her toward one of the quieter corridors leading out of the hall. His tone left no room for argument, but Adria felt a surge of frustration rise within her.

"I wasn’t in an undesirable situation!" she protested, squirming slightly in his grasp. "I was dancing, Ganondorf. You can’t just—"

"I can," he cut her off sharply, his gaze flicking down to her, daring her to argue further. "And I did."

Adria’s frustration boiled over. "You had no right to do that! I was fine! I—"

His grip on her tightened, just slightly, but enough to make her stop mid-sentence. "Do not test me, Adria," he said, his voice dangerously low now. "I will not tolerate you dancing in the arms of weak men who have no claim to you."

Her breath hitched. No claim to you. The words echoed in her mind, and suddenly, the reality of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks. Ganondorf was jealous. That couldn't be. That was the alcohol and her desperate mind speaking.

"What... what does it matter to you who I dance with?" she asked, her voice softer now, almost hesitant. "You don’t get to decide who I spend time with. You’re not—"

He stopped walking, turning his head to look at her fully now, his dark eyes locking onto hers with an intensity that made her heart stutter in her chest. "Not what?" he asked, his voice smooth but dangerous, like a blade hidden in silk.

Adria swallowed hard, her pulse racing in her ears as she tried to find the right words. "You’re... not my—"

Before she could finish, Ganondorf leaned in closer, his breath ghosting against her ear. "Not yet."

The words sent a shockwave through her system, and for a moment, all she could do was stare at him, her mind reeling.

"Put me down," she managed to say, though her voice wavered.

Ganondorf held her gaze for a long, tense moment, then slowly, he lowered her to the ground, his hands lingering on her waist as she found her footing. Adria stepped back, her heart pounding in her chest, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

This was dangerous. This was so dangerous.

But stars, her heart was betraying her again, thundering in her chest, screaming at her to do the one thing she knew she couldn’t afford to do—fall for him.

"Good night, Adria," Ganondorf said, his voice softer now but still laced with that same edge as he turned and walked away, leaving her standing there, breathless and shaken.

Changing Fate, Creating Destiny - LOZ TOTK Isekai

Part 1 2 3 (This is Part 3)

What was happening? Zelda couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted beneath her nose. Kotake and Koume, once elusive and distant, were now... casually hanging out with Adria? It was as if they had appointed themselves her personal guards. The strangest part was how relaxed Adria now seemed around them, treating them more like friends than protectors.

When Zelda had first inquired about their constant presence, Adria only shrugged, looking as confused as Zelda was. "I don't know," she had said, "they just... started hanging around."

Zelda, in her growing concern, had asked the Gerudo twins directly why they were spending so much time with Adria. Their response? Silence. They offered no explanation, their expressions as unreadable as ever. It was unsettling.

And yet... Adria, somehow, could get them talking. Zelda had watched, equal parts amazed and uneasy, as her friend asked the two stoic women about their weapons, their jewelry, even their clothing. Adria’s curiosity was boundless and unafraid, an openness Zelda herself would never show around the witches. But Adria didn’t seem to share the same wariness.

Koume, for example, had proudly shown Adria her golden spear, embedded with a ruby that gave it the power of fire. Kotake had demonstrated her twin scimitars, each adorned with sapphires that gave them an icy sharpness. Their faces, usually so cold and severe, softened—just slightly—as they humored Adria’s interest.

There was something gentle about the way they interacted with her, even though their sharp natures were still very much intact. It was odd to see these two powerful women acting like this, their amusement apparent whenever Adria spoke with them.

Zelda couldn’t help but worry. Why were they so attached to Adria? What did they want from her? More importantly, why did Adria seem so content around them? She couldn’t deny that her friend was still very much herself—walking alongside Zelda and treating her like a sister, sharing laughter and stories just as before—but now, Adria had these two warriors practically hovering in the background, always there, always watching.

And then there was the matter of training. Zelda had overheard Kotake and Koume gently—for them—trying to convince Adria to take up some form of combat training. They hadn’t pushed, but their persistence was clear. What were they hoping to achieve?

The lack of answers gnawed at Zelda, but she had nothing concrete to go on. No evidence. No accusations. Just a vague sense that something was off. And yet, how could she say anything when Adria seemed perfectly fine with it? No, more than fine—comfortable.

It was unsettling, but for now, Zelda resolved to watch carefully. She wouldn’t make the mistake of letting her guard down, not when Kotake and Koume were involved. But she also wouldn’t push too hard. If Adria was happy and unharmed, Zelda would allow this strange arrangement to continue.

Still... she'd remain vigilant. Watching and waiting. There was more to this than met the eye, she was sure of it. But for now, she would treat the situation with care. Kindness wouldn’t hurt—but neither would caution.

[ninetailedfoxmanchi]

Mafia! BTS - They find out your father is an abusive alcoholic

WARNING: ABUSE AND VIOLENCE

Jin

You stirred the vegetables in the pan, trying to cook yourself some lunch but your mind was elsewhere. You had spend the weekend at your parents', although you regretted it now. Nothing had changed; certainly not your father, who still used your mom as a punching bag every once in a while. With your short return, you took on her role. A part of you was glad that you could take the anger in your mom's stead, but most of you was furious, furious but desperate and weak.

"Princess, what are you doing?" asked your boyfriend, waking you up from your thoughts. You looked at him, not even comprehending what he said. He took the pan out of your hands and turned off the cooker as you did not even notice you had burned the vegetables.

"I'm sorry, I didn't..." you shook your head, unable to get a hold of your own attention. Your eyes were glassy and the thoughts behind them floated far far away.

"What's wrong, princess?" asked Jin.

"Nothing," you murmured, locking your arms around Jin as you leaned your head against his broad chest. He ran his fingers through your hair, but still you couldn't possibly bring yourself to think of anything else but how to save your mom from your abusive father. There was a conscious part of you that knew she would have to take the decision to leave him on her own, that no amount of your persuasion could do it. Yet you also knew that if she had not had the courage to do it in the past twenty-something years, she wasn't going to leave him now either.

"What's that?" questioned your boyfriend as he brushed the hair from your neck.

"Huh?" you rose your head lazily.

"Did that happen while you were at home?" he asked abhorred and enraged, inspecting the fingerprint bruising on your neck. He knew there was no other place he'd let you go on your own. What more, some of his men were ordered to keep an eye on you during the weekend and you had not left the house other than to sit in the garden.

"W-what?" you stuttered. Suddenly, you were on high alert, worried that you had said some of your thoughts aloud. You followed Jin's piercing stare and felt your neck where he was staring at. You winced at your own touch, your eyes widening. A bruise.

It had not showed this morning in front of the mirror so you thought it would not appear at all.

"I-It's nothing," you lied, "I just... I-I..." you tried to think of something but what could have possibly happened to you that would leave fingerprints on your neck.

"Princess, don't lie to me," Jin gritted through his teeth and trapped you against the sink with his long arms. You had never seen him this angry before. The look in his eyes was that of rage, his hands nearly shaking with anger.

"Tell me what happened," he demanded, propping up your chin. You looked at him with pleading eyes, trying not to blink or the tears would slip down your cheeks.

"If I tell you," you began in a voice so small, it was barely coherent, "You can't hurt him, okay?"

Jin scoffed a grin, staring at you with a look of absolute madness. "You're not serious, princess," he spat darkly, "I'll be doing no such thing and you'll tell me anyway."

You knew your boyfriend well enough to know there was no changing his mind. The state of rage he was in could not be soothed, not even by your touch. Someone hurt his girl, his princess. And Jin's hunger for their suffering was insatiable.

"Jin..."

"The truth, princess," he repeated for the last time, defeating you on the spot. You brushed the tears from your eyes, although they kept on falling. You told him the truth. You explained everything from beginning to the end, your voice cracking now and again.

"You should have told me sooner," said Jin once you finished, tucking a piece of your loose hair behind your ear. He brushed the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, doing his very best to keep himself from snapping in utter fury. But the sight of you and the pain you had struggled to carry yourself forced him to control himself.

He usually preferred his men to do the dirty work in his stead because of the blood that got on his clothes and hands scared you. Yet this was going to be one of the very special occasions that Jin will take care of himself - and enjoy it immensely.

Namjoon

You had been applying makeup to your face for the past forty-five minutes since you returned home from a trip to your parents' place. A dark red mark resided on your cheek, a purple patch the size of almond forming just above your cheekbone. But no matter how much foundation, how much concealer and bronzer you applied, the forming bruise did not stay hidden.

Your hands were shaking as you checked the time on your phone, knowing your boyfriend should arrive home any minute. The sound of his footsteps forewarned you of his return.

"Wait, don't come in!" you called, slamming the doors close whilst realizing at the very same moment that that was the worst thing you could have possibly done.

"I'm sorry," you apologized immediately, "Please just... wait a moment..."

You hurried to apply some more concealer but the door opened slowly, Namjoon knocking. He leaned against the doorframe with a small grin on his lips.

"Did I forget about a date?" he asked playfully as he watched you put on make up. The bruised side of your face was turned away from him. For a moment, you felt like you could hide it from him yet the second you thought of that, Namjoon was already frowning.

He entered the bathroom, gently turning your chin to face him.

"What's this?" he asked confused, rubbing his thumb across the purple-red mark forcing through the makeup. A tan patch of concealer remained on his fingertip as you winced away, unable to hold back a whimper. It hurt even to touch it with the foundation sponge, what more his touch, although gentle.

His chest dropped at the realization, eyebrows coming together as his jaw clenched.

"Baby, who did this to you?" he asked, the tone of his voice darkening severely. You bit your lip and shook your head, looking down.

"Baby?" he asked again, this time more gently.

"I can't tell you," you whispered through your tears, shaking your head again. Namjoon cupped your cheeks, having you look up at him.

"Why not?"

"B-because I... I know w-what you'll do..." you stuttered, tears streaming down you cheeks.

"What will I do, baby?"

"You... You'll kill him," you whispered, your chin quivering as you shut your eyes.

"If I promise not to kill him, will you tell me?"

You looked into your boyfriend's eyes, not believing he would do such a thing. But he was completely serious. You nodded and bit your lip.

"I promise," he vowed, kissing you softly. You nodded and told him everything. How your dad spiralled out of control every time he had a drink, how he hurt your mom at first and then turned to you when that was not enough for him.

Namjoon had you wash off your makeup and apply some ointment instead. He held you close until you fell asleep, then quietly left the apartment.

***

"So, you're the sick fuck that likes to hurt girls?" asked Namjoon darkly. He was leaning against the wall as your father stumbled from the bar. He could barely raise his drunken gaze.

"What the fuck-" began your father but Namjoon's brass knuckles broke through his face. He rained down a storm on him, leaving him unrecognizable. He left your father with a threat on his lips - another promise: he will beg to die if he is ever seen near you or your family again. He will keep him alive tho, just to keep his promise to you.

Yoongi

"Baby..." you said slowly.

Yoongi rose his head from his phone, not quite used to you calling him nicknames. He had learned that when you did, there was definitely something wrong.

"At work... Sometimes... Do people pay you to hurt others?" you asked in a small voice, keeping your eyes on your hands. Yoongi remained silent, forcing you to face him. His brows were furrowed into a frightening frown as he watched you closely.

"We're not talking about my work, Y/N," he spoke lowly, leaving no room for arguments but you couldn't help yourself. Your chest hurt from so much anxiety and sadness.

"W-w-" you began, not getting out a single word. Your voice was about to crack and it was the last thing you wanted. Swallowing down your tears, you spoke again, "What... W-what if I were the c-customer?"

You dared glance at your boyfriend sitting on the sofa across from you yet immediately regretted doing so. His eyes were narrowed at you mercilessly. Thoughts stormed behind his ink-black irises when he got up, making you wince. You looked down immediately, your stomach twisting into knots as your eyes filled with hot tears.

Yoongi knelt in front of your armchair. "Jagi, do you have something to tell me?"

You remained silent, holding in your pain.

"Y/N?" Yoongi spoke more softly, trying to get you to look him in the eye by gently caressing your cheek. Yet the moment your gazes met, all the pain and the fear came tumbling down inside of your chest and mind. A shaky breath escaped your lips as you leaned your forehead against his shoulder, clutching your arms around your tummy.

"Jagi... Y/N, what's going on?" he asked again, his hand holding your delicate body against him. You showed him the bruises on your body from your weekend visit to your parents', explaining how your father had had a long history of alcohol abuse. Although he was perfectly alright when sober, your father turned into a raging beast whenever drunk. Not only did he hurt you, but your mom as well. She was the main reason you wanted it all to stop - it had to stop.

Yoongi listened without saying a single word. His head was in a storm but on the outside, he was razor calm.

"You're never going to see him again," he spoke quietly as he wiped the tear from your cheek with his thumb, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

True to his word, your mom called you the next day. Your father had gone missing and no one knew where he was, not even his drinking buddies. You observed your boyfriend as he came home the next day, but dared no ask about if he had anything to do with it. Your best guess was that Yoongi or some of his men scared your father and he took off, coward that he was. But you were so deeply mistaken. The man who called himself your father was in for a time of biblical torture until he would be praying for death. Yoongi made sure that your abuser would spent every single day for the rest of his life regretting ever setting a finger on you.

You never saw your father ever again, nor did you ever find out what really happened to him.

Hoseok

"Baby, what are you doing in bed?" asked your boyfriend, finding you in your bedroom at six o'clock in the afternoon. He climbed into bed beside you and kissed your cheek. A wet stain lay on the pillow beneath your eyes, Hoseok doubtlessly noticing. He brushed the hair that stuck to your face, caressing you awake.

You rubbed your eyes, turning to face him. Your chin quivered at the sight of your boyfriend, immediately scooting closer to his chest.

"Oh, baby, don't cry... What happened?" he asked gently, continuing to pet your hair.

"I j-just missed y-you so much," you stuttered, having yearned for the security of his embrace the entire day.

You had visited your mom earlier that day. Her wrist was swollen and her eyes puffy. You father has had another one of his drunken lash-outs and hurt her for telling him to keep the television volume down in the middle of the night. You remembered those days perfectly enough because there was not a time that you could recall when your father was not drunk. You'd get slapped for waking him up, yelled at and called names, things were thrown at you... You escaped him when you met Hoseok, although you never told your boyfriend about your life before. You even lied about it to keep him from worrying and reacting on impulse. But you couldn't help but blame yourself for your mother's state. When you were still living with your parents, you could protect her, take the punches in her stead. But now she was on her own and it was all your fault.

"This can't be just because you missed me," said Hoseok as you quietly sobbed beneath his touch. "Why don't you tell me what's really wrong, hm, baby?"

"M-my mom... s-she got h-hurt," you stuttered, unable to hold it in any longer. You told Hoseok everything.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked softly, although you could feel his chest stiffen in anger.

"I-I don't know," you whispered, "I w-was scared..."

"What were you scared of?" frowned Hoseok.

"Of... of what would happen... of what you'd do..."

"Oh, but sweetie, he doesn't deserve to live," said your boyfriend easily, kissing your forehead. His words made shivers run down your spine, more tears stinging your cheeks.

"What is it, baby?"

"Please don't hurt my family, Hoseok," you cried into his chest, fist clutched around his shirt.

"Don't call him family, Y/N," said Hoseok, his voice lowering with disgust.

"And besides, he hurt you and I'll make him pay for it," he kissed the top of your head lovingly. His voice drifted off into darkness only his mind knew the way around, "So much..."

Jimin

You returned home to Jimin from spending a weekend at your parents' place. Your mom begged you to visit to which you could not say no forever, what more, you truly missed her.

But what your boyfriend did not know was that you had been hiding a secret from him since the two of you met. Your father had been an abusive drunk since before you were even born. He often abused your mother and even you, and yesterday was just one of those terrible days.

It was an early Monday morning when you hung your jacket in the closet upon returning to your apartment. Your side ached each time you moved your arms but it did not bother you. The wooden cutting board in your father's hands would have hit your mother if you had not stepped in front of her.

You let the hot water fill the tub whilst you unpacked your clothes, slowly taking off your blue jeans and sweater. Suddenly you froze in place as you heard your boyfriend's voice coming from the kitchen. You yanked the sweater off the floor and pulled it back on just in time for him to arrive to the bathroom.

He smiled, turning off the water in the bathtub as it was going to spill over the edge, but you did not even notice.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he greeted happily, propped up your chin and kissed you longingly. "I missed you," he whispered into your lips, his hands slipping around your hips. You disappeared beneath his gentle touch, forgetting yourself completely as he began taking off your sweater.

"What is this?" Jimin breathed, looking up into your eyes. Your heart gave a jolt so harsh it nearly jumped from your chest.

"Nothing," you whispered and pulled down your sweater immediately.

"Who the fuck did this to you? I don't even let anyone even get near you!" raged your boyfriend, his eyebrows arching into a terrifying frown.

"Jimin, please, everything's okay, I'm-"

"Don't say you're okay," he threatened, his nostrils flaring. Your chin quivered as your brain worked ways of trying to figure out how to calm him. Flashbacks from the night before drowned your brain, nearly paralyzing you.

"Take off your sweater," he ordered, not blinking a single time.

"Jimin, please," you pleaded as your eyes filled with hot salty tears but he was in no mood to negotiate. It wasn't that you did not want him to see your body, you just did not want him to see what the other side of you life looked like.

You pulled the sweater over your head and dropped it to the floor. Jimin's eyebrows relaxed in shock, lips parting as he took a full look at the massive bruise on your side, just beneath your bra.

"Sweetheart, tell me who did-" insisted Jimin, cutting himself off as he came to the realization on his own. Letting you visit your family was the only place he ever allowed you to go alone, foolishly believing they would take good care of you.

"Your mother or your father?" gritted Jimin through his teeth as he towered over you. Your eyes widened as they shot up to meet his.

"No, Jimin, please, don't hurt them-" you begged.

"Your mother or your father?" he repeated impatiently, his forehead nearly touching your own.

"Jimin-"

"Tell me which or I'll kill them both," he whisper-growled against your lips. He could almost see his own reflection in the pools of tears gathered in your eyes. Every single second of your pain burned within him like red-hot embers of fury.

"M-my... My f-father," you admitted so quietly it was not even a whisper.

"Good girl," said Jimin gently, kissing you forehead. "Take a bath now, sweetheart."

As you sat in the bathtub, a part of you could not help but feel relieved. If not for your own safety, for your mom.

Jimin was sitting on a chair, legs crossed elegantly as he watched you soak. It took him but a phone call to have his men collect your father from one of his usual bars and bring him to Jimin's office. That is where he will deal with him in unspeakable ways of torture after he makes sure you are safe and protected.

Taehyung

"Where are you going, jagi?" asked your boyfriend. You suddenly caught his attention when you mentioned leaving.

"I'm just going to see my mom, I'll be back soon," you promised, about to put on your shoes.

"Why don't I come with you?" suggested Tae, raising from his armchair. He buried his hands in the pockets of his elegant black trousers, catching you off guard with his proposal. You jumped up, eyes widening as you stood frozen.

"Why?" you blurted. Tae to narrowed his eyes at you.

"You know my family, why shouldn't I know yours?" he asked, but in his case, his family were the rest of the members of his mafia.

"I... I don't think that's a good idea," you tried to think of something. "Maybe another day, I'm in a hurry."

You were about to grab your car keys, but Tae beat you to it. "Perfect. I'll drive," he spoke deeply, a silver sparkle in his eyes.

Your heart beat wild as a drum the entire way to your parents'. Your lip was raw from chewing on it and your palms warm with sweat. The only thing you could pray for was that your father was either not at home or sober. Tae did not know about your past or where you grew up really. Sometimes you made up innocent lies to hide this part of yourself. A part of you was embarrassed to admit how weak you were compared to your father whilst another was petrified of what Taehyung might do upon finding out that your father was a violent drunk.

He pulled up on the driveway of your parents' house and opened the passenger door for you as always. You squeezed his hand painfully tight as you waited on the doorstep for your mom to open the door. Tae smiled at you, although you kept your gaze on the floor. He thought you were nervous about him meeting your parents for the first time, however the truth was far from it.

"Y/N," greeted your mom upon seeing you, "Who is this?" she nodded at Tae as you never spoke of him to anyone. Your parents simply thought you had moved away to the city on your own.

"This... This..." you began but couldn't get out a full sentence. Tae glanced at you confused, offering his hand in a confident shake.

"My name is Taehyung-"

"He's a friend," you interrupted him, earning an outraged glare from him.

"I'm Y/N's boyfriend," he corrected you eerily and kept his eyes on you as he spoke those words. You looked up at him timidly, nodding at your mom.

"Really? Oh, I wish you'd told me, I would have made lunch," said your mom kindly, letting the both of you in. You stole a glimpse through the kitchen window, noticing your father's car was nowhere to be seen. A breath of relief escaped your lungs as you finally hugged your mom and sat down.

In no more than ten minutes of easy-going small talk between your mom and your boyfriend, the front door slammed open. You jumped in your chair, earning a raised eyebrow from Taehyung.

"Maybe we should go," you said and stood up with Tae's hand in your palm, squeezing it even tighter than earlier. But before you could do anything else, your father stumbled into the room, his blood-shot eyes stopping on you and Taehyung.

"Who the fuck's this?" he dragged his drunken words, the smell of his boozy clothes making you sick. Suddenly, you felt clammy all over, little drops of sweat gathering on your forehead.

"Please let's go," you whispered to your boyfriend, your hand loosening grip on his.

"I said 'Who the fuck's this?'," your father shouted.

Tae pushed you behind him gently and stood in front of you as your father tried to make his way at you.

Tae towered an inch or two above him, studying his features with his undaunting glare. Without having to hear a word from you, all the pieces of the puzzle came together in his mind's eye - why you behaved like you did, why you reacted a certain way, why it took you so long to trust him.

"Jagi, wait in the car," he ordered calmly, not releasing your paralyzed father from beneath his ruthless stare.

"Tae, please come with me," you pleaded, feeling your eyes water with tears.

"I'll be there in a moment, love," he spoke with a voice as dark as night, gesturing his elegant hand towards the door.

You tried to walk past him and your father, but he snapped at you the moment his drunken eyes took a hold of you. You whimpered and jumped away, standing in front of your mom to protect her from the violence. But little did you realize you were not alone anymore. With terrible fury, Taehyung grabbed your father and slammed him against the wall. In his hand rested his slick black gun, the hoof of which ended against your father's face repeatedly.

Awakened from your trans by seeing him lay on the floor bloody and unconscious, you jumped in between him and Tae just as he cocked his gun, ready to shoot him on the spot.

"No!" you cried, pushing your hands against your boyfriend's chest. His eyes widened at your reaction.

"Please don't, please don't, Taehyung," you begged him, tears streaming down your cheeks. For the life of him, he could not understand your reaction. He caught one of your tears with the back of his index finger.

Your forgiveness moved him but it did not make him forgive what had been done to you. He put his gun away and caressed your cheek that leaned against his palm as it were a pillow. He would have your father dealt with later, just not in front of you.

Jungkook

"Jungkook, can you come and get me?" you whispered through your tears, clutching to your mobile phone. You visited your mom but your father came home early, drunk and hungry for violence. He dragged your mom from the sofa and despite your every last effort to get him away from her, you were helpless against his massive frame. When you finally did get to him, he pushed you against the wall. You hit your head, a terrible dizziness overcoming you.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked immediately. The sound of car doors slamming shut echoed from the speaker next to your ear, followed by the roar of an engine.

"No, nothing's wrong," you tried to keep your voice calm, "It's just... I-I just want to go home now..."

"I know you're lying, just tell me, is he in the room with you right now, yes or no?" ordered Jungkook. You wondered how he could know something was wrong.

"N-no, no one is here," you hurried, brushing the tears from your face. "I-it's okay, don't worry... I... I'll just take the bus, don't come," you tried, suddenly seeing all kinds of horrors Jungkook was capable of doing if he knew the truth, but it was already too late, and you had no one else to call for help either.

In no more than fifteen minutes, a car pulled up on your driveway. Your heart gave an anxious squeeze as you heard footsteps outside. Your father was almost passed out on the sofa, yet if you dared to move he was at your throat in less than a second.

Suddenly, the front door burst open, Jungkook storming inside with Jimin on his trail. His eyes found you immediately. He knelt down beside you, inspecting the small cut on your temple.

"Jungkook, don't, " you begged him, already seeing what was going to happen. His brown eyes turned blood-shot from ire and his hands balled into fists.

Your father, who barely got to his feet, started calling you insults in regards to Jungkook, but his fists shut him up instantly. The old man dropped to the floor, his nose bust open bloody. Punches rained down on him as you begged your boyfriend to stop. Your father was past unconscious.

"Get her out," commanded Jungkook, pulling the gun from behind his back. Jimin already took your arms and had to carry you outside because you were fighting his grip so hard.

"J-Jungkook, please don't! Don't! Please!" you shouted your voice hoarse all the way. Just as you reached outside the door, two ear-piercing gunshots were fired from the inside. In an instant, your voice quietened and an eerie silence filled your head before a terrible ringing made you dizzy. You went limp in Jimin's arms, remembering nothing more but waking up in your own apartment.

You didn't let your boyfriend touch you, you didn't speak to him and you rather slept on the sofa than share his bed. All you could do was bathe in the guilt you felt in your father's death. It's your fault, it's all your fault, repeated inside your head. Your eyes stung from so much crying...

The next day, word came from the hospital. Your mom was treated for her wounds and might have died if she had not gotten the care immediately as she did. An enormous weight dropped from your shoulders, making you cry tears of happiness.

A part of you knew your father was a terrible man but another felt betrayed, not by him but by Jungkook. You had begged him not to end his life, yet he did not listen to your pleas. However, if he had not gotten you out of that house, your mom would have been dead and that would have been your fault as well.

It was early morning when you received the phone call from the hospital, telling you about your mom. Brushing away your tears, you could not help but feel grateful. It was over... It was finally over. You could live, your mom was safe, you were free.

You got up from the sofa and made your way to the bedroom and quietly turned the doorknob. Jungkook was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning his elbows against his thighs. His gaze rose to you, astounded to see you there. Without a word, you walked to the opposite side of the bed and climbed in, turning away from your boyfriend.

You had your eyes closed, although you were not asleep. He got up from the bed and walked to your side. Jungkook knelt in front of you. He took your palm and kissed your knuckles, finally able to breathe again when he realized you were starting to forgive him.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Draw your swords, pt. 5

Summary: A very special dinner brings a very special moment for the Darkling and his wife.

Warnings: angst, sexual innuendoes, swearing, bit of fluff

Part one // Part two // Part three // Part four  

=================================

She felt caught in the riptide, finding it hard to stay upright. As the daughter of a general, Y/N had seen so many evils, so much hurt, yet she never buckled under pressure.

Staring at the empty spot beside her, she laid there while battling shadows in her head. So filled with rage, she wondered who she’s becoming as a part of her longed to feel his touch. Perhaps he was right, she’s a foolish girl who is trying to win a game where the rules are nonexistent.

Having stayed awake most of the previous night, she didn’t expect trouble sleeping. With a heavy sigh, she abandoned the bed they shared – it felt too intimate to remain there now. They’ve only ever kissed and it was never planned nor did it happen in the very bed she felt is so incredibly vast, so lonely and cold when he didn’t stay there with her.

Pacing the room as she saw his shadow do the night before, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if he had trouble sleeping alone too. It was less than a full week since they married and she already cursed the smallest part of her that seemed to care for him.

Men are easy to love. A woman’s heart was made to care and love those near her. Mistaking love and trust is what a woman should never do. Love and trust are separate entities, one is given, the other must be earned.

Remembering her mother’s words eased her self-loathing. If she dared to love the Darkling, it wasn’t entirely under her control. Trusting him was different. She wasn’t as naïve as to allow the echoes of her heart dictate what her mind long acknowledged – he isn’t trustworthy.

And as the stars rise in the sky, she paced the room tirelessly. Arguing with herself, she paid no mind to the night sky she loved so much. If she had, Y/N might have realized a man with dark skies for eyes had trouble looking away from her shadow.

Exhausted, Y/N rose with the dawn. She had barely scraped up a few hours of decent sleep, tormented by his words even in dreams.

“Enter”, she yawned as Genya readily walked inside. The maids rushed to the bed, willing to change the bed sheets they couldn’t last time as Y/N had sent them away.

“Stop!” She exclaims as they reach Kirigan’s side of the bed, a slightly panicked look on her face relaying uncontrollable desires she had no chance of understanding.

Frowning, Genya licked her lips. While Y/N wasn’t sure what caused her outburst, she believed to know the root. “Leave us. You will be asked to change the sheets when Y/N desires it.”

Swallowing thickly, Y/N turned away. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be”, Genya mussed. “We have a dinner to prepare you for.”

“Yes, of course.” Y/N managed a smile, briefly looking to Genya. “I’ll be alone which gives me a perfect chance to find new allies.”

Blinking fast, Genya’s frown deepened. “I’m not sure who could ally with us in the Palace. Everyone’s charmed by our General. If you’d just work with him, they would all be with you too.”

“He works for the emperor.” Y/N reminded her.

Running her hands through her hair, Y/N didn’t know if she could ever trust him enough to tell him the truth. Her plans, her fight, it’s her life’s work. She came into that palace with intention of burning it down. The emperor must die and anyone else who’d fuel the flames of war must perish along with him. The war had claimed her mother’s life, of thousands of humans and Grisha alike, Y/N aimed to end it. And to end it, she had to destroy those who started it, those who refused to implement equality between species, as Kirigan called them. Humans and Grisha must be seen equally worthy, they must ally or they will be exterminated like vermin by surrounding enemies.

She grieved for her mother every day, even now as a decade had passed. Grief is really just love one cannot give to the other. It’s all the unspent love, gathering in the corners of her eyes, the lump in her throat and inside the hollowed heart that’s trying to beat in her chest. If her sorrow was but snow that could melt with coming spring, she’d shake it off her shoulder and be done with it. It doesn’t just disappear or heal with time, she could not just let it go and forgive. Y/N survived the loss of her mother by making a vow, one she was closer to fulfilling.

“Should I prepare your usual kefta?” Genya asked, holding the blue one over her forearm.

Shaking her head, Y/N turned to her with a smile. If she wants to succeeded, she must use all weapons at hand. Being the General’s wife is one of the weapons at her disposal.

“I was thinking about a different color for tonight.”

“How different are we talking?”

Smirking, Y/N’s eyes flickered to Kirigan’s kefta. “Black.”

“No one wears black but Kirigan”, Genya reminds her.

“Until he married. I believe I’m allowed to wear his color.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Genya sighed heavily. “Alright. As long as you allow me to make a few modifications.”

Anticipating the dinner, Y/N felt like a goddess in the kefta Genya had crafted for her. It fit her perfectly, adjusted just above the waist as it properly accentuated her curves. The closed collar wrapped around her neck, fallen stars creating a golden woven blaze as a necklace, while moondust adorned the long, skin tight lacey sleeves. The bottom acted as a floor length dress with a long slit revealing skin up to middle of her thigh.

Entering the room with her head held high and Genya on her hand, Y/N felt even more confident about the eclipsed sun stitched across her heart. It was bound to attract attention if the rest of her makeshift kefta inspired dress didn’t.  

The moment she took a step inside, everybody’s head turned. The chatter died down, replaced by astonished gasps of pure awestruck admiration.

“I believe you’ve created a masterpiece”, Y/N whispers to Genya whose smile widens.

“You are what makes it so spectacular”, Genya winks.

“Don’t be modest. We both know it’s not in your nature.”

Giggling, Genya nods, “You’re right. I’m brilliant and this”, she steps aside to give her a once over again, “You are proof.”

Pursing her lips, Y/N felt her cheeks darken. Her plan was to draw attention so any potential ally she speaks to would be more inclined to accept her request, but she didn’t expect for everyone to stop and stare.

Tugging her by the arm, Genya pulled her closer. “You’ll never guess who is here”, she spoke in a hushed tone, looking to the left as the rest of the guests began speaking again and the music played softly in the background.

Following her line of view, Y/N’s heart came to a near stop as her eyes locked on his.

“Wasn’t he supposed to leave last night?” Genya whispers, but Y/N could hardly speak.

Breath caught in her throat, Y/N stared back at Kirigan who seemed to be just as breathless. She looked like a dream, a golden bird that carried all the happiness of the world on its wings.

“He didn’t”, Y/N looked away, knitting her eyebrows. “Why didn’t he”, she tried to finish her initial thought, but she couldn’t. If she spoke of the sudden ache that settled after the initial shock of his presence dispersed, she’d hate herself more. She’s weak if her feelings are hurt by a single night spent alone in a bed. She was certain now. She is foolish.

“You won’t be able to network tonight”, Genya’s frown made Y/N chuckle.

“You’ve been frowning so often since we met.”

Shrugging, Genya leaned in discreetly. “I can afford a few worry lines. I’ll just erase them later.”

Playfully rolling her eyes, Y/N smiled brightly. She would not allow Kirigan to dampen her mood. He can stay on his side of the room and she won’t spare him a single glance.

“I’ll test the waters”, Genya promised, “If I find anyone that we can work with, we can test their loyalty later.”

Glancing over Y/N’s shoulder, Genya’s eyes widened ever so slightly.

Frowning lightly, Y/N glanced at what has her so perplexed only to huff in frustration.

“Black suits you”, the Darkling compliments her. Holding out a hand for her to take, he glances at his open palm before raising his brow. He’s challenging her.

Looking around, she realizes everyone’s waiting for her reaction. As he told her once before, they may not be a love match, but their arrangement must seem successful to the unsuspecting eye.

“Dance with me and pretend they don’t exist”, his voice softened and she couldn’t believe this is the same man who so cruelly baited her, branding her as foolish earlier. How can he act as if nothing happened when she was still reeling from it? Not that he’d know, she always put care in every move she made around him.

She placed her hand on the palm of his, holding her breath as she chained her gaze to the abyss in his. There’s no going back, she thinks, nearly shuddering as he places his free hand on her hip.

“I thought you were gone by now”, she mussed. Choosing to take control of the conversation, she kept her neck straight as it secured a proper distance between their faces.

“We had a slight delay”, he said, “I’ll be gone tonight.”

Humming, she swallowed thickly. Avoiding looking at others, she remained in a staring match with her husband.

“How did you sleep?” The Darkling smirked, watching her eyes narrow at him.

“Quite well. Did you enjoy sharing your bed with someone else?” While her voice seemed cold and unattached, her words were anything but.

“Do I detect a hint of jealousy there?” Pursing his lips, he nearly laughed as she stepped on his foot. “I’ll take that as yes.”

“I’m merely concerned how it would look if word of you sleeping elsewhere got out. I prefer my pride and honor untouched and if you choose to find a lover, I should assume you’ll be discreet.”

Licking his lips, the great general didn’t laugh at her or sneer. There was no angry squinting or vile words. For once, he had a serious expression on his face that had nothing to do with the army or their arguments.

“I’m not the kind who would seek a lover while married. Even if the marriage is a mere arrangement.”

Scoffing, she clenched her jaw as he pulled her waist closer to him. 

“How many lovers have you taken?”

He raised a brow, “That’s a horrible question.”

“Because you lost count?” She narrows her eyes, the lips he found himself so fascinated with formed a thin, red line.

He doesn’t respond, so she tried again, “Why have you not married before?”

Now he looked amused, “That’s even worse!”

Shrugging, she smirks, “Well, ask me a question then! If all mine are so awful, let me hear yours.”

“Do you think I’m a very good liar or a very unlovable being?” Slowly pulling her body flush against his, Darkling looked deep into her eyes. “I’ve never loved anyone and I’ve manipulated everyone who has fallen in love with me. So?” Inhaling sharply, he watched a disarray of emotions cross her face as he asked again, “Liar or unlovable?”

“A liar. Because you are lying, not just to me but yourself.” Her breathing is shallow, strained even. “You have a heart, General, but you’re cowering like a scared little boy instead of just facing the facts.”

“And what are those?” His voice is darker as are his intentions.

If they were alone, she was certain he’d be kissing her lips now. For some reason, it seemed he enjoyed their arguments. He liked it when she fought him almost like he didn’t know any other form of affection.

“That you care. You care and you hate yourself for it.” Stopping their dance, she managed a faint smile. “But don’t worry, I’m not spending my time waiting for you to accept it.”

Brushing his fingers across the left side of her face, he cocked his head ever so slightly, “Is it possible you’ve got this all wrong? From where I stand, you’re the one who cares – perhaps a bit too much? Let me remind you, this marriage is a sham. You are my wife, but I do not love you, I do not care for you and if you were killed right in this very spot, I would avenge you but solely for the arrangement to remain unsullied.”

Nodding, more to herself than him, she took a step back from him. For the first time ever, she drew back. “For once, we’re on the same page of the same book.”

The music stops. Looking to the man clinking his glass, Y/N’s lips part. She didn’t even realize it, but too often she entirely forgoes breathing in Kirigan’s presence.

Taking a deep breath, she nearly laughs. Kirigan…General…The Darkling. She even called him husband, yet she never even heard his first name. How odd is it to marry a man whose first name is a mystery to you, she thought.

“If you’ll excuse me”, she nods curtly without sparing him a glance. 

Her seat at the dinner table was beside Genya, while Kirigan was placed all the way on the other side of the room. She smirked, satisfied she’ll have some peace during her meal. She never quite liked the table formation in a wide U form before, but she blessed the ones who created it on this evening.

Studying him from afar, she couldn’t deny the attraction she felt for him. It wasn’t some cosmic connection that she hoped she’d share with her husband, rather wishful thinking. Longing for him is out of the question. He may be the most handsome man she had ever seen, but it’s not at all something she’d thank the saints for. If he were less appealing, she’d at least be free of torment his looks bring. The devil is real and he’s not a goat like man as humans believed. There are no horns, no tails – he’s beautiful, a fallen angel, but an angel nonetheless.

“You’re staring at him again”, Genya speaks in a hushed tone, her smile audible.

“I’m not”, Y/N replies, “I simply looked over in a direction and he happened to be seated there.”

“Then why was that look on your face?” Genya raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Y/N asks, incredulous. “What look?”

“You have a certain way of looking at him”, she informs. Letting out an tired huff, Genya explains, “You look at him and it’s like you’re staring at the night sky littered with stars.”

“So?”

Genya looks down before whispering, “You love night skies littered with stars.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/N stared at her food for the rest of the evening. One bite after another and her plate was quickly emptied. Her stomach felt like it would burst, but she didn’t care. Most people claim they can’t eat under stress, but she was the opposite – her appetite only grew.

“He’s standing up”, Genya informed her and despite wishing she remained impassive, Y/N’s eyes shot up to where he was sitting.

With a lump at the back of her throat, she watched him as he headed to the door. A part of her hoped he’d be decent enough to bid his farewell, to acknowledge her at least. That part of her needed to be destroyed, she decided. It’s the part of her that would ruin her mission and for what? If she truly wanted to, she could have him on his back and under her. If she wanted him, he’d be hers – at least his body would. The principle she held onto was more important and so, she swallowed thickly and looked to her empty plate in order to stop her weakness from showing.

As she looked away, the Darkling looked back at her from across the room. He felt a strange tightness in his heart and once he saw she didn’t follow him with her gaze, his heart dropped. Furrowing his eyebrows, he kept his gaze on her for a while longer – her beauty was unmatched by anything he had ever seen. White looked good on her, every color did – but black fabric hugging her curves could bring a dead man back to life.

With a heavy heart and frown etched on his face, the Darkling turned his back and left the room, the Palace, the strangest, most beautiful creature he ever laid eyes on.

He carried her in his thoughts ever since. It aggravates him how quickly she’s gotten under his skin. Most of the month before their marriage was finalized was spent in petty comments about their armies or their distaste for one another. She was insufferable, maddening and entirely different from what he expected.

And yet, even then, the Darkling hoped she’d lose her patience and either leave or tell him she loves him. If she left, he’d be free of her and the shackles of an undesirable marriage, but if she told him she loves him, perhaps he’d believe her. If he knew there was ever a possibility of her loving him, he’d dare assume he might be deserving of love – because she may have dubbed him a liar, but he believes himself to be unlovable too. He never saw the point in allowing himself to feel a thing for her when it would be futile, wasted emotions on a woman sworn to hate him.

Once he was done chasing a rumor of a stag up north, the Darkling had to accept it too was a futile. Going after a legendary animal wasted so much of his time that he couldn’t even believe how foolish he’s become too. The stag must not be real after all.

Approaching Little Palace, he felt almost eager to run up to their shared chambers and see her. Even if she’d likely have a few choice words for him, he hoped he could make her blood boil just to hear her speak. He’d never admit it, but he missed someone he could converse with without dying of boredom.

“General”, Genya rushed to Kirigan who nearly growled at the distraction. However, Genya seemed distraught, panicked enough to draw his attention.

“Yes?”

Swallowing thickly, she wiped a stray tear slipping down her cheek. “It’s Y/N.”

His heart stops at the sound of her shaky voice, his jaw clenching before speaking. “What happened? Is she alright?”

“She went for a ride this morning and she hasn’t been seen since.”

Darkling’s gaze hardens as he grips Genya’s arms and shakes her lightly. “What do you mean?!”

“We sent riders after lunch, because I was worried she missed two meals already”, gasping for air, Genya’s tears made tracks, “The snow covered her tracks.”

She left me, he thought. She deemed me unlovable, unworthy. She left.

“They managed to find her mare”, Genya continues through tears, “It was decapitated and left in the woods.”

“Woods?” He frowns, wondering why she’d stray from the meadow and then he realized. He’s the one she rode into the woods with. She must have thought the woods were safe. They were at the time, only because he was with her and he’d never let any harm come to her.

“There were signs of struggle, but the snow is making it hard for us to track them.”

Releasing a visibly shaken Genya, he grunts. Biting his lower lip, he paced before her as his hand ran through his hair. She never saw him so worried, so mad before. He looked like a man walking a fine line – a line between madness and sanity.

“Call everyone”, he orders, “We must find her.”

Exhaling in relief, Genya smiled as Ivan emerged, having heard everything.

“Why would we do that?”

A pause ensues as the Darkling takes a step toward Ivan. “I haven’t made a promise in so long”, he spoke but in truth, it’s been hundreds of years since he made anyone a promise. “I promised her I’d protect her.” His voice was ragged, but controlled. “So I’m making a new promise right here, if they harm a single hair on her head, I will end them all. I will do it with a smile on face and I will bathe in their blood!”

They took her from him and he had every intention of ripping the world apart with his bare hands and for once, the thought of how far he’d go for that insolent woman didn’t frighten him. He barely knows her, he certainly doesn’t love her, but Saints help those who touched his wife.

=============================

Tags: @bruxa0007​ @rangotangomango​ @kaitlyn2907​ @thestoryofmylife9​ @shelivesindaydreamswme​ @hxrgreeves​ @safetyhtom​ @kaqua​ @savannah-elliott​ @all-art-is-quite-useless​  @azure23x​ @girlmadeofavocados​ @ashdab2611​ @acciorudolphx​ @ladyblablabla​ @wckedheart​​ @xceafh​ @sanna2020​ @tarkanelima-blog​ @takethee​ @mellifluous-cosmos​ @marvel-ousnesss​ @tea-effect​ @starlightofsolaria​ @p3nny4urth0ught5​ @blackbirddaredevil23​ @sarcastic-and-cool​ @slytherinsbiggestproblem​ @within-thehollowcrown​ @notthatchhavi​ @musicconversedance​​ @astrosmayhem   

Part 6

[xowlan]

you better keep your mouth shut, birdy⎮R. S M I T H

p a i r i n g: raymond smith x birdy!reader

f a n d o m: the gentlemen ⎮ birdy universe

s u m m a r y: birdy meets the boss and gets pulled into a world filled with secrets and lies. luckily raymond is there to keep your back safe.

w a r n i n g s: mentions of violence, sequel to 'nice to meet you, birdy'

m a s t e r l i s t

m a s t e r p o s t

Ray had his eyes on you.

You were nervous as you sat on the fancy couch that was placed in the middle of the living room of the Pearson's house. Although the house was very cozy, you didn't feel at ease. Not one bit.

Raymond was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, watching you like a hawk as if he expected that you would try to run. Of course, you knew better. It didn't mean that the blonde saved you in the bar, that it means that he wouldn't use the gun that was strapped against his hip.

You played with the edge of your coat, yet kept your tired eyes on Raymond. You didn't trust him one bit, and you were pretty sure that feeling was returned.

You swallowed and wet your lips when you heard the front door open before three pairs of footsteps neared the room. The first person that entered the room was someone you recognized. You believed his name was Bunny, and although his appearance seemed rough, he was the only one that had managed to put you a little bit at ease the entire night.

Bunny smiled at you as he felt your eyes on him. He moved over to Raymond where he stood beside him. Your eyes turned back to the door, where a tall man and woman were watching you.

"So you're the girl that saw what wasn't meant for her eyes." The man said, taking a few steps towards you. He moved with elegance, unlike the stride that Ray had. "My name is Michael Pearson and this is my wife Rosalind." You looked back at the woman. She nodded at you before she walked over to the bar and poured two glasses of whiskey. She handed her husband one who took it gladly before he sat on the coffee table in front of you.

"What's your name, darling?"

"Y/n Y/l/n." You muttered. You were taking deep breaths as the nerves were kicking in, your eyes peeking at the guns of Ray and Bunny. Michael noticed it and took a look over his shoulder. "Take that off boys, you're scaring our guest."

Ray and Bunny did as asked and Michael turned back to you. "Listen y/n, as long as you you don't tell anyone about what happened tonight, you're good."

"So I'm safe?"

"Not really?" Rosalind spoke up, giving you a weak smile. "We aren't sure if another witness saw what happened tonight. If that's the case, it might become knowledge to the person that had sent those men."

"Meaning?" You ask, eyes wide and palms sweaty.

"Meaning you have a target on your back," Michael answered. You leaned back into the couch and ran a hand through your hair. "Oh my god, "you breathed out.

"We can protect you." You didn't look at Michael as he spoke. "I know we will need to earn your trust but you will also need to earn ours. Like I said before, you don't have any problem with us as you have done nothing wrong. But I hope you understand that I will need to send Raymond to you from time to time, just to make sure that our deal stays."

You wipe your tired eyes and sigh before giving the man a weak nod. Perhaps it was the tiredness consuming you now that made you accept the terms so easily. Or perhaps it was because you knew you weren't exactly in the right spot to negotiate.

Rosalind walked over to you. She placed a hand on your shoulder so you looked at her. "Also if anything is wrong, you can contact Ray or me and my husband."

"Alright." You whispered. Your eyes shot to the glass in her hand. "Could I perhaps get one of those?"

Michael and Rosalind both chuckled. "Of course," Michael said. Before he could even give a signal or stand up to do it himself, Raymond was already pouring out a glass before handing it over to you with a wink.

--------------

The car stopped right in front of your apartment building. Noticing your own car, you released a sigh of relief knowing your other two friends made it out safely. You turned to look at Ray who sat beside you. "Thank you for bringing me home," you told him before a yawn left your lips.

Ray chuckled softly at the sight of you being tired. "No problem Birdy," he muttered. There it was again, that name. o one has ever given you a nickname before and you don't know where the hell this one came from, but for some kind of reason, you want to hear Raymond say every second of every day.

Ray shifted in the driver's seat and pulled something out from the pocket of his trench coat. He held out a phone. "Take it. It contains my number and that of Mickey and Ross." Ray explained. You took the phone and took a look at it before putting it into your own pockets.

You wanted to move out of the car when something came to your mind, so you stopped yourself. "How is Saskia?"

"Your friend?" Ray raised an eyebrow while you nodded. "Bunny took her to her place."

"How did you figure out where she lived?" Ray didn't give you an answer. "Right." You pursed your lips and opened the car door. Stepping out, a hand wrapped around your wrist. "I'll see you soon. Stay safe and remember that you better keep your mouth shut, Birdy. Or else I will have to hunt you down."

Well, that doesn't seem to be a bad idea.

You got rid of that thought immediately. "I will." You promised Raymond, who released you with another grin. Slamming the door shut, you took a step back and watched the car drive away into the night.

[arvinsescape]

Choices.

A/N: Another Mob!Tom fic, a longer one. It’s another darker one and I hope you all enjoy! Do not engage if the topics make you uncomfortable 💕 (side note: I managed to get switch!Tom in there).

Summary: You become the product of someone’s torture and now you have to decide what you want.

Warnings: Smut (oral, f rec), unprotected sex (wrap it up, stay safe), Violence, blood, injuries, bruises, language, misogynistic views. Minors do not engage. I think I got everything, possibly a few typos.

W/C: 8K.

The sound of skin-on-skin contact resonated through the halls, the sting in your cheek burning as Caleb shook the sting from his own hand.

“What did he do with my shipment?” Caleb hissed as he crouched down so he was eye level with you.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that, when he finds out what you’ve done, he’s gonna kill you.” You said, probably a stupid thing to say as it earned you yet another smack to your already bruised cheek.

“I’ll give you one thing, you’re tougher than you look. Shame you think you’re worth more to him, he’s known for the last twelve hours I’ve had you and he’s done nothing.” Caleb laughed as he stood to full height.

“Bullshit.” You hissed and Caleb laughed.

“Oh come on, you don’t think men like us put women above our businesses do you? More women like you will come along, more cunts to keep our cocks warm. Let’s be real, that’s really all you are and ever will be to him.” He laughed and you winced at the harshness, maybe he was right. He wasn’t here, wasn’t here to help you.

“Now,” he announced as he made his way over to a table, taking a hammer off it. “I’ve quite frankly grown bored. Tell me what he did with the shipment, tell me where it is.” He said, he was yet again in front of you. He’d taken your hand in his and if your wrist wasn’t roped down to the chair you’d have slapped him.

“You have quite dainty little fingers.” He said as he stroked over them. “Shame I’m going to have to break a few.” He said and you felt defeated, utterly defeated.

“I don’t know what he did.” You answered in a breathy whisper. “He doesn’t get me involved.” It wasn’t strictly a lie, you knew he’d stolen the shipment just not how.

“Given up? I would to, must be disappointing.” He laughed again as he crouched down to your level, stroking your sweaty hair out of your face, running a thumb harshly over the bruise on your cheek. “Maybe he hasn’t even noticed you’ve gone, that spot you occupy in his bed probably isn’t cold, already filled.” He taunted and you felt the tears fall.

“Just let me go. I can’t help you.” You said, your heart was broken. He knew you were here, and he’d done nothing. Maybe it was all bullshit, maybe he didn’t love you like he said he did.

“But we’re having so much fun.” He said as he stood up again. “I know you know something, you must, you sauntered around that mansion enough.”

“I don’t.” You said, completely defeated now.

“Tell you what, you can serve as a lesson, I’ll give you back to him. Since you can’t help and show him what happens to his stuff when he messes with mine.” He said and you succumbed to the tears.

**

Tom was panicking he’d not seen you all day, you’d gone out for lunch and now he couldn’t get a hold of you. His mind was racing, he’d sent all of his staff out to find you and no such luck, it was like you’d disappeared into thin air. He was pacing his office, running a hand through his hair when he heard it. Three loud knocks to his mansion’s door. He hastily made his way downstairs, Harrison in tow.

As soon as he opened the door, a body collided with his own. He only just caught it in time, the body almost limp in his arms. It took his brain a moment to catch up as he realised just who it was that had been thrust into chest.

“Caleb sends his regards.” A man laughed and Tom felt frozen. How had this happened? Not you, not his precious princess. Tom watched as the man disappeared, Harrison giving chase.

It was your small fist on your right hand that grasped his shirt that brought him back to reality, he picked you up, one arm around your back, the other in the crook of your knees as you winced in pain.

“I’m sorry princess.” He mumbled as he took in your features, you looked so tired, bruised cheek. Tom felt his anger rise, Caleb should count his days lucky because when Tom found him it would be the last day he spent on Earth. He took you into your shared room, placing you carefully on the bed as he took in the rest of you. The outfit you’d worn that day was dirty but still intact, your wrists were raw, evidence of the rope that had tied them down, the same with your ankles.

You had bruises almost everywhere, face tear stained. You were half awake, weak as you fluttered your eyes occasionally before closing them again. Tom sat with you on the bed for a while, thinking about his next move, of all the ways he was going to torture Caleb for doing this to you. He heard commotion downstairs and knew Harrison had caught whoever had brought you back to him.

Tom didn’t leave you, he knew Harrison would take over, bring the men back and make sure whoever he’d caught was dealt with until Tom could deal with it. Harrison was his right-hand man, one of his most trusted advisors. Tom looked down at you, moving stray strands of hair from your face, he almost cried at the sight.

He kept a hand on your chest, evidence you were alive. He brought his lips to your forehead as he kissed it, a tear making its way down his cheek. You didn’t deserve this, and he couldn’t protect you, he failed at the one thing he’d promised to himself. It wasn’t long before your eyes fluttered open to look at him.

You took in Tom as you opened your eyes, he looked tired, upset as he held a hand to your chest, hair a mess and those brown eyes had seemingly lost their usual spark. You looked at him, no energy to speak. He’d left you, didn’t come for you when you wanted him to, you briefly remember begging for him, pieces of the beating you’d taken coming back in flashes. You’d lost consciousness through parts, the pain too much.

“Hey Princess.” He breathed out, voice soft, quiet. It almost sounded like there was an ounce of care in there, but you must be delusional. You just looked at him and he sighed before disappearing. You didn’t really wonder where he’d gone, what he was doing, you were thinking about how to get yourself home, away from this and away from him.

It wasn’t long before he lifted you again, you were too tired to fight with him as he took you to the bathroom, stripped you of your clothes and put you into the bath. The first bath you had was to get rid of the dirt, Tom ever so carefully washing your body and hair, it almost had you fooled into thinking he cared. He’d fooled you for almost two years now though.

He almost cried again as he took in the bruising that was all over your body, he took your left hand into his own and you winced, almost crying out in pain. He studied your hand, as if in some sort of mocking he took in the bruising of your left finger, the one he intended to place a ring on. He could tell just by looking at it that it was broken. He whispered out an apology, he needed to call his personal doctor to come and see you.

He lifted you again, carefully, before running a second bath, placing you in there, probably hoping the hot water would relax your tired muscles. It was silent, the only sounds being your winces, Tom’s quiet apologies and his soft kisses to your skin. Tom was the first to properly break the silence.

“I’m so sorry princess.” He said softly and you wondered how this man, your Tom could have left you like that, left you to die for all he knew. You didn’t speak, too tired for an argument with him. He sighed as he sat with you, sitting on the edge of the bathtub as you got lost in your own thoughts.

Your gut was telling you it couldn’t be true, your Tom wouldn’t have left you like that, he’d have come for you if he’d known but your head was full of the things Caleb had said. Full of the doubt he’d put there, the doubt that Tom loved you at all, that he felt anything for you. You felt more tears slip down your cheek as you hastily and angrily tried to wipe them away.

“Hey, hey, I’m here, I’ve got you.” Tom said as he lowered himself to take you into his arms. Your good but wet hand fisting the dry fabric of his shirt as you cried into his shoulder. “You’re okay. I’m here.” He repeated as you cried for what felt like the millionth time that day. “I’m gonna take you to bed okay? I won’t leave you, not tonight.” But he already had hadn’t he? He’d left you with Caleb, maybe you were just a good fuck, and he couldn’t be bothered to find anyone else now that you were back.

He lifted you for the last time out of the bath, draining it as he stood you on your feet, wrapping a towel around your fragile frame. Rubbing his hands along your arms in an attempt to help you dry off. You didn’t fight him as he placed a shirt, his shirt, over your head, helping you get into bed. Everything about him was so soft in this moment, so gentle, it made it hard to believe what he’d done tonight or on the contrary, what he’d not done.

Tom’s doctor came and left, securing your finger, whatever he said to Tom was drowned out by your own thoughts. You tuned back in to hear the doctor say that your bruises were okay, you were going to be okay. But that was lie, you weren’t okay, far from it, not emotionally at least.

You fell asleep that night, hand fisted into his shirt, it was keeping you grounded, reminding you that you were here, with Tom, in his room, not back there. It was a reminder you weren’t dreaming. Tom held you until you fell asleep, coaxing your not broken fingered hand to interlace with his own, you knew you were probably grasping his hand too tight, but you needed to keep yourself anchored, stop yourself falling apart. You were tired and in no mood to fight and being here with Tom was a far better alternative than being back there with Caleb.

Tom was drifting into his own sleep when your scream jolted him awake, probably woke the whole mansion. Your body suddenly moving from his own as you became completely unsettled, face contorting in pain. Tom was quick to move as he tried to wake you, dodging your flailing arms, he took them in his hands, careful of your finger, pinning them above your head.

“Princess, it’s okay, it’s me. It’s Tom, it’s just me. You’re safe.” He repeated as he watched your eyes snap open and meet his, he was shocked to see the rage in them.

“Get off me.” You screamed at him, and he did, instantly, releasing you from his hold as he sat up, you sitting up onto your knees as you looked at him.

“Princess, it’s okay, calm down.” He reassured as he carefully went to take your hand in his, you slapped it away and stood up off the bed.

“Stay away from me, Tom. I want to go home.” You snapped and he stood from the bed as well. He heard a knock at the door, ignoring it.

“Baby, you are home.” Tom was utterly confused at your turn towards him, you looked so angry, so hurt with him and he couldn’t understand it. He’d spent all day looking for you, used every resource he had to try. He made his way towards you again, placing his hands on your shoulders.

He watched as you cried again, falling into his chest, you were tired, confused, that much he could tell. Like you were fighting an internal battle with yourself, one he knew nothing about, and it was frightening him, your sudden anger towards him setting him on edge. He heard a knock on his door again and bit back his anger, for your sake.

“Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it in the morning.” Tom snapped, hands moving to cover your ears as not to startle you. You suddenly moved, ripping yourself from his grip as you looked at him wildly.

“You left me.” You said and Tom looked confused, he felt confused.

“What, princess, I don’t know what you mean.” He said calmly.

“Bullshit. You left me and you know you did. Why is it you keep me around? A good fuck? The minute my life is in danger, you do nothing. You really had me fooled.” You ranted as you paced the room and Tom felt more confused than he ever had in his life. Left you? He would never, had he known where you were, he’d have come straight for you.

“I didn’t leave you princess, I promise. You know me, I love you. You know I’d do anything to make sure you’re safe.” He said as he carefully approached your figure, stopping your pacing and forcing you to look at him, tears streaming down your beautiful face again. You looked at him almost desperately, like you wanted to believe what he was saying but couldn’t.

“I, Tom. I can’t get these thoughts out of my head. I don’t want to believe that you left me, but you did. How do I know that what you’re saying isn’t bullshit?” You spoke, voice broken, and Tom almost cried again.

“If I’d have known where you were, I’d have come for you. You know me, Y/N, you know me.” He said sincerely.

“I want to believe you but I can’t. Caleb said-“

“Whatever he said was bullshit, baby, you know me. You know I’d move the world for you.” He said as he stroked your hair.

“I need to get away.” You spoke and you looked at him, you were begging him not to argue with you. “I need to think.” You said and it was so desperate that Tom couldn’t deny you, you needed it and he’d give it to you.

“Okay baby, I’ll let you go. Wherever you want, but tonight please just stay here and I’ll take you where you want to go tomorrow.” He pleaded and he watched you fight an internal battle with yourself, he knew what you were thinking. He knew you were thinking that if you spent the night in bed with him, you were scared you’d wake up tomorrow and all will be forgiven. Tom’s heart tore in two as he opened his mouth to speak.

“I’ll sleep next door. If you need anything that’s where I’ll be.” He said as he kissed your forehead and made his way out of the room.

It was 5 o clock in the morning when the door opened in one of his spare rooms, a body colliding with his own as it clung to him. He didn’t fight you when you climbed on top of him, wrapping yourself in him. His heart hammered in his chest, he was conflicted, you’d just asked, begged, for space and here you were making sure there wasn’t an inch of it.

You were on top of him, trying to pull his arms closer around you and he didn’t fight, not when he heard the small sigh leave your lips. He was careful not to hurt you as he placed his arms around your trembling figure on top of him.

“I just, I can’t. I need to feel safe.” You cracked voice reached his ears. He was conflicted, he knew this would have you feeling differently in the morning, but he couldn’t forget the pleading look in your eyes when you told him you needed space. He’d let you have this, give you what you needed tonight but tomorrow he had to let you go. As much as it would rip his heart out he had to let you go.

He held you, carefully as your breathing evened out in the crook of his neck. He was used to you wanting his touch but never like this, not this much. It was almost like you wanted to get inside him, wrap yourself completely in him, like you couldn’t get close enough. He did his best, did his best to make you feel covered and only when he heard your soft snores did he know that he’d been successful at making you feel safe.

“I love you so much.” He said as he held you and let his own tears fall.

**

He woke up and felt no weight on top of him, you’d moved. He thought you’d be downstairs and was shocked to see you sat cross legged on the bed next to him.

“I’m sorry about last night.” You said.

“You’re sorry?” He asked, what?

“I just, I couldn’t sleep without you.” You clarified and he nodded as he studied you carefully. He knew what was about to come, knew he needed to be a better man than he’d ever been in his life, for you. “I was thinking,” you started as you cleared your throat, although it did nothing for the croakiness of it. “Maybe we should talk.” You offered and his heart shattered, last night you were scared of it happening and it had.

He sat up as he rubbed his hands down his face, collecting himself because this was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. He just couldn’t forget that begging in your eyes. The way you pleaded with him to let you go and in his mind this was the right thing to do. Be the man you’d begged him to be last night.

“You’re mind was pretty made-up last night.” He grumbled and he didn’t miss the way your eyes melted at his morning voice.

“I’ve had a chance to sleep.” You ran your uninjured hand through your hair as you shrugged.

“Y/N,” He hated using your name, he hardly ever used it but pet names? Not right now. “With me.” He continued and you furrowed your brows.

“So?” You huffed back.

“You begged me to let you leave last night.”

“I’ve changed my mind, I can’t sleep without you.” You said.

“Don’t do this to yourself, last night you wanted, no needed to leave, you told me so.”

“I was confused. Tommy,” that fucking nickname. “We can talk it out and I can stay here.” You were making this hard.

“I can’t. Y/N, you need let me do the right thing here, the right thing for you.”

“So you just want to leave me again?” You huffed out, anger rising on your ever beautiful features.

“Again? I told you last night that’s not what happened.” His voice still soft. “You need to clear your head and you and I both know you won’t do that when I’m here.” He reasoned, he knew you had to find a way to process this, and he knew what would happen if he let you stay.

He’d done his own thinking last night and he knew if he let you stay, if you allowed yourself to just get wrapped up in him instead of process what had happened to you and the cause of it, the cause being his lifestyle. He couldn’t do that to you, he needed to let you think even if that meant letting you go forever. He was ripping his heart out here and the look on your face was stomping it hard into the floor.

“But I don’t understand.” You whispered as you let a tear fall, Tom was quick to move and wipe it away, you caught his hand and brought it between your own.

“You will, you need to process this, need to think about what you really want. If you weren’t with me this never would have happened.” He said and you let out a choked sob, you knew he was right.

**

He’d moved you into a flat, well Harrison had moved your things in, Tom knew if he did it he’d become selfish and let you come home. Tom made sure it was secure, bought it in your name so you wouldn’t be attached forever if you decided to leave, it would be yours. He kept it safe but he stayed away, you’d been gone a week when you first called and out of instinct he answered.

“Tommy?” You sniffled down the line and he knew a nightmare had just woken you up.

“Y/N, this isn’t a good idea.” He warned softly.

“I know, I didn’t call you any of the other nights, but I just need to sleep.” You said and he sighed, running a hand over his face.

“What do you need?” He asked and he hoped you wouldn’t say what he thought you were going to, that would make it harder on both of you.

“Can you, I know you won’t come here and I can’t come there, can you just talk to me? Please?” You asked in a whisper and Tom couldn’t refuse.

“What do you want me to talk about?” He asked and he heard you sigh down the line.

“I don’t know, just anything.” You said and he heard you shuffle around presumably to get more comfortable.

**

That was the first of many phone calls, the two of them indulging themselves late at night when neither could sleep. Tom never called you, you always called him. He was becoming conflicted, he probably shouldn’t be doing this but he was too selfish.

“Tom?” You said and he knew that voice, already feeling blood rush downstairs. It’d been a while since he’d had any sort of relief.

“Y/N/N.” Tom groaned and he heard you giggle slightly, in that seductive way that could get him going at the most inconvenient times and you knew it. Yeah you were definitely horny and this wasn’t a call to help you sleep.

“Tom, I need you.” You panted down the phone at him and he threw his head back into his pillow.

“Y/N, no.” Tom said, firm tone and he heard you shuffle around and hoped to god you weren’t gonna start doing what he knew you were probably thinking. If he heard you moan that would be it, he’d drive over and he couldn’t let that happen.

“Come on, Tom don’t be a killjoy. You always want me.” You said and he heard you shuffle again.

“This isn’t a good idea.” He said, cursing himself for growing hard.

“Come on Tom, we’ve done it before.” You said and then he heard it, your little whimper that meant you’d probably touched your clit.

“Y/N.” He said firmly. He couldn’t let this escalate as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. He heard you huff. “Please don’t.” He said.

“You don’t want to hear me take care of myself?” You tried again, a moan slipping down the phone.

“No.” Yes.

“Fine.” He heard you huff in defeat.

“We need to stop these phone calls, they’re not doing you any good.” He spoke, voice firmer than he thought it would be to say his dick was currently straining in his boxers.

“I don’t want to, I won’t, I’m sorry.” You stumbled over yourself.

“It’s not just about calling me for phone sex, it’s all of it, it’s not a good idea.” He said, he’d never gone soft as fast in his life, the atmosphere had changed massively. “Y/N/N,” he sighed. “I want you to stop calling me, until your head is clear I want you to stop calling me.” He said, voice soft and he heard your sharp intake of breath.

“Okay.” He heard you say after a while before you hung up.

**

That was two months ago, he knew you were okay, of course he did but he had had zero contact with you. You were slowly processing what had happened to you, thinking about what you wanted. No matter how many times you thought to yourself that Tom’s lifestyle wasn’t the reason you’d been practically tortured a bruise would remind you that if you weren’t with him it wouldn’t have happened.

It wasn’t until you went to bed that you realised how much you wanted him even if it wasn’t a good idea. He made you happier than anyone ever had, he cared, fuck did he care. He always wanted the best for you, you wanted to be angry at him for doing what he did but you couldn’t. Every time you took a branch of that anger it led you back to the same trunk, the same reason, he’d done it for you, been the better man for you.

Tom was a selfish man everyone knew that, if he wanted something it was his but with you? He couldn’t, he never had been. It made you realise that Caleb was wrong, he had to be, Tom hadn’t behaved like a man who used you to keep his dick wet. There was no way he could have faked that for so long. He was always faithful, not like half the men that rivalled him, he just wouldn’t do that to you.

You love him, that much is clear to you, the way he makes you feel and looks after you is something you know you’ll never have again and ultimately it’s what made your decision. Although you knew that what happened before could potentially happen again, you found yourself unable to care, Tom was it for you. You had to follow your heart, it couldn’t take the pain of being away from him but it didn’t mean you’d turn as much of a blind eye anymore.

You knew who the man was, who you wanted to be with, you wouldn’t be the naive girlfriend anymore, the one who pretended none of it happened. You had to take some responsibility yourself, toughen up, if you were going to be with him, you needed to toughen up and wake the fuck up. Realise how dangerous his world can be and if you were going to make yourself a part of that then you had to make some changes.

As long as you could have him the way you loved him behind closed doors then it was a risk you were willing to take. You couldn’t stop yourself as you brought up the contact you’d not used in two months.

**

In the two months since Tom had asked you to stop calling him he’d still not managed to find Caleb. Every lead was a dead end. He missed you. Missed everything about you, he took solace in the fact that he knew you were safe and probably healing. He found himself wishing you would call and he’d gotten so drunk one night that Harrison had had to take his phone from his hand to stop him calling you.

He lost hope daily that you were going to call him, that you were going to show up and realised you’d probably done the smart thing and decided not to have anything to do with him. It hurt him, truly it did but was he to do? Make you stay? He knew if he’d let you stay another couple of nights in his bed then you’d just consume yourself with him and not think about what you wanted.

His phone made him jump when it rang, he wasn’t used to this anymore, wasn’t used to seeing your contact pop up, not over the last two months. He almost declined the call until he thought about why you might be calling, you’d made no attempt to contact him in all this time, maybe you were ready to talk, maybe you’d cleared your head. His thumb swiped at the green button as he put it to his ear.

“Can you come over?” That was all he got, no explanation, nothing.

**

His fist banged on the door, you knew it was him, you knew immediately. You knew him like the back of your hand. You opened it and couldn’t help the small gasp that left your lips, was he trying to drive you insane? Those dress pants, white shirt tucked into his pants, rolled up sleeves? Fuck, he always looked like he was formed by the gods themselves.

“Hi darling.” He spoke and you couldn’t stop yourself as you threw yourself at him, hugging him tight. It was nice to feel him hug you back, be back in those arms that did nothing but make you feel safe, at home.

“Hi.” You whispered as you pulled back and pulled him into your flat, he was yet to see it.

“Why the late-night call?” He asked.

“I wanted to see you.” You shrugged, licking your lips that had become dry just from looking at him. “I miss you.” You spoke honestly.

“I miss you too.” He said back so easily, no time to think about the words.

The atmosphere in the room felt thick, thick with tension, the last time you’d spoken to him you’d wanted him to help get yourself off and you grew aroused at the thought. Your fingers just didn’t quite cut it, nor did the vibrator. Nothing would feel as good as having Tom wedged between your legs as he fucked into you.

He looked at you like he was thinking the same thing, he’d always said his hand wasn’t as satisfying as your wet heat. You grew hotter the more you thought about it, the more you thought about him getting himself off to the memories of the two of you fucking, just like you’d been doing. He watched your every move ever so carefully, your bruising was now all healed, finger free from its bandages.

You looked like you again but you had a shine to you that Tom liked, you looked happier, almost healthier. Like you’d been properly taking care of yourself and he smiled, it was good too see you happy after his last memory of you. He cleared his throat after a moment and spoke.

“Do you want to talk?”

“Not right now.” You answered as you approached him. “I did, but I don’t, not right now.” You rambled out as your mind became clouded with lust, it’d been so long since you’d had him, you’d not had anyone else, why would you? They wouldn’t give it to you like Tom would.

“Is this a good idea?” He asked quietly as he studied you, you didn’t say anything as you leant up to kiss him, tenderly, far more tender than you’d initially thought you were going to. You both sighed at the contact, you wanted him. He studied you for a moment, looking for a sign of regret and when he didn’t find it he captured your lips again.

This time a little more forcefully, but not by much. You kissed tenderly, carefully, almost like you were remembering each other, basking in the way one another felt against them again. You pushed your lips more forcefully against his and he groaned slightly as your hands weaved into his hair. It was still careful, neither wanting to overwhelm the other.

His hands found a firm place on your waist as he pulled you closer to him, lips growing slowly firmer until Tom’s tongue was tracing your bottom lip and you granted him access. You both moaned in pleasure as your tongues found each other’s after so long, neither of you forgetting how they almost danced together. The sound of your lips finally uniting being the only sound in the quiet flat.

It wasn’t long before Tom had picked you up, carefully, and your legs were wrapped around his waist as he carried you down the hallway and into your bedroom. Your kiss had grown much heavier along the way, your arousal for each other settling in properly as the only emotion left was lust, need for each other. You untucked his shirt as he carried you, hand trailing up his toned back.

His hand was carefully squeezing your waist, grabbing a handful of your arse every so often. You felt him harden against you and you knew he knew how wet you’d be for him when he took your shirts off. He kicked your bedroom door open and when he turned to shut it he pinned you against it.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you.” He was the first to say as he placed kisses along your throat, your hand fisting in the back of his hair.

“Feels like it.” You spoke as you felt his hardened length again.

“Like you’re gonna be any better.” He teased and as if to prove his point he ran a hand up your thigh and into your shorts, running his finger through your folds. “So wet.” He hummed.

He moved you and placed you on the bed, something digging into your back as he did. You moved your hand around until you found whatever it was and when you pulled it out you heard Tom mutter a ‘fuck.’

“Not quite the same but it took the edge off.” You said as you threw it down the side of your bed.

“Thinking about me?” Tom asked as he pulled your shirt over your head. “Did you touch yourself? Thinking about how well I fuck you with my fingers, tongue, cock?” He asked as he took in your braless and now topless figure. He couldn’t get enough of you.

“Always.” You panted when he brought his mouth over your hardened nipple. He hummed in response and it sent vibrations through your entire being. It ignited you in a way it always had, in a way only he could.

“That’s fucking hot.” Tom said as he popped your nipple from his mouth and as you attempted to undo the buttons on his shirt. You grew frustrated when they wouldn’t play ball and sat up, Tom moving with you, he looked at you confused for a second before you quite literally grasped the middle of his buttons and ripped it off, buttons flying everywhere.

“Fuck me.” Tom said, never had he seen you so needy for him, so desperate. It was doing things to him he couldn’t explain, he didn’t have much time to think as you latched your mouth onto his neck and sucked. You knew exactly where his sweet spot was, not hesitating to suck, you moved his now open shirt off his shoulders and it dropped to the floor. It wasn’t until you pulled back, eyes darker, completely consumed by lust that he realised what you’d done.

“Have you just left a mark?” Tom asked, almost astonished, it turned him on to no end. You just shrugged as you laid back on the bed, looking up at him and he swears he lost his dominant side for second. Completely in awe of you.

“Oh baby,” he didn’t miss your breath hitch at the nickname as he regained himself and crawled back on top of you. His own lips found the top of your breast, sucking his own mark onto it. “It’s cute, watching you try and take dominance from me, but we both know who’s in charge, don’t we darling.” He asked as he sat back to look at his handy work. He’d kicked his shoes off by now as he laid on top of you.

“Tom, please.” You begged and he chuckled, completely consumed by desire, the pair of you were by this point. His cock was throbbing for you and he knew you’d be clenching and unclenching around nothing, around the idea of him being inside you.

“What does my princess want? My fingers?” He asked as he made quick work of your shorts, placing a finger inside you that had you rolling your head back and moaning in pleasure. His kisses trailing down your body as he looked up at you through hooded eyes. “My tongue?” He asked as he placed it carefully on your clit. Teasing you by halting all movements, watching you squirm as you tried to create friction. “Tell me baby.” He spoke before oh so slowly dragging his down your folds to meet his fingers and dragging it back up. You sat up to look at him between your legs, god the look on your face was something of pure pleasure in itself.

“All of it, Tom, I just want you.” You panted out and he chuckled as he moved his finger, carefully sliding in and out of you, mindful that it’d been a while and while he knew your own fingers had been inside you, your fingers were smaller than his.

“I suppose it’s been a while. Should fuck you like you deserve to be fucked, the way you’ve missed.” He said and before you could respond his tongue was back on your clit as he sucked and licked at it, watching, and groaning as you threw your head back, body arching off the bed as one hand fisted his hair and the other your bedsheets.

It wasn’t long before you were squirming beneath him as he added a second finger, opening you up for him, your body shaking as you neared your first mind blowing orgasm in almost three months. He could have blown his load just from watching you as you arched off the bed, screamed his name and tightened so well around his fingers as you came. Panting, body shaking as he helped you through it.

He expected you to be all fucked out when he climbed back on top of you, what he was not expecting was for your still just as lust blown and wild eyes looking into his own. You took him by surprise when you pushed him onto his back before climbing on top of him. You didn’t ride him often and when you did, it was never with so much confidence. It was like he’d awakened something primal in you and he fucking loved it.

You made light work of his pants and boxers, straddling him as you confidently took his cock into your hand and placed him inside you. He couldn’t stop the moan that left his lips at the feeling and also the sight. This was not what he was expecting as you placed your hands on his chest and moved your hips of your own accord.

You’d never been shy in bed, not when it came to being beneath him but every time he’d relinquish control and let you be on top you’d ask for his guidance. Not tonight, tonight you were using his cock to get yourself off and he loved it, loved the way it made him feel. He moaned as he gripped your hips, you’d taken control, he hadn’t given it and fuck if it made him almost finish inside you right there.

You moaned as you moved your hips, feeling every inch of him as the angle had him brushing that spot you’d not felt stimulated in a while and it made you almost scream his name as you fucked him. You wee both moaning, sweating and you expected Tom to take control back but he didn’t, he let you have all the control.

“So much for we both know who’s in charge Tommy.” You moaned and you expected a cocky response but none came, just a moan of your name. “Fuck, you feel so good.” You said as you felt your high approach, felt as you tightened around him and it only served to make you moved faster. Tom became something of a moaning mess underneath you, something you’d never seen before and that urged you on as you chased both of your highs.

“Just like that baby.” He said and your eyes rolled back into your head as you felt your orgasm fast approach. “Shit, Y/N/N, I’m gonna come.” Tom moaned and you don’t know what came over you, a feeling of pure power maybe, but you’re glad that it did.

“Come for me Tom.” You whispered, voice laced in lust and command as you placed your lips to his ear, leaning back to watch as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he moaned uncontrollably, moaning profanities laced with your name. You’d never seen him like this, you felt powerful above him, the ever so powerful Tom Holland reduced to a moaning mess because of you. It urged you to finish chasing your high as you fucked him through his. You collapsed onto his chest, with an almost scream of his name as you felt euphoria wash over you.

“Fuck.” Was all Tom had to say when he came down from possibly one of the most explosive orgasms he’d ever had. He loved being in control he really did, but watching you like that? You could have the control whenever you wanted it.

“Yeah.” You mumbled against his chest as tiredness washed over you. He flipped you over whilst staying inside of you, carefully drawing himself out as he cleaned you both up. Whilst he was busy doing that it gave you time to realise just how much power you had over him. He could have easily taken back the control, shown you who was in charge and he didn’t not even when you practically dared him to.

He came back into the bed as he massaged your thighs that were now aching slightly. You shivered as he did, body feeling sensitive all over after your orgasms. You played with his curls as he rested his head on your stomach.

“Where did that come from?” He asked, amused tone.

“I don’t know.” You said honestly, you didn’t, maybe it was the fact that you’d not been able to have him for three months. Maybe it was the desire to hold power over him, even if just in bed, you weren’t sure but he’d woken something in you that you liked.

“I’m gonna have to let you take charge more often.” He laughed as he continued to massage your thighs, your hands still in his hair.

“How come you didn’t take it back? The control?” You had to ask.

“Didn’t want it, not then. Fuck, you looked you so hot. It did something to me, watching you use me to get yourself off, taking your own pleasure like that, fuck.” He said as he kissed your stomach.

“I hope this doesn’t mean you’ll be a sub now, I’ll miss you railing me into whatever surface we find ourselves on.” You laughed and he joined.

“No, but you can have the control, whenever you want it.” He spoke and it sounded so honest that your heart soared. Tom Holland did not give control to anybody, it wasn’t his style yet here he was telling you could have it whenever you wanted it. That’s how much he loved you, how much you were different to everyone else in his life. It solidified your decision.

“I want to come home.”

**

You’d worked things out between the two of you, a week’s worth of late nights and talking. You’d told him you wanted to be more involved, you didn’t want to shy away anymore, Tom was hesitant but agreed. You asked him to train you, make sure you could a least attempt to defend yourself, although that wasn’t going so well, every time he was teaching you one of you got distracted and you usually ended up underneath him.

Tom liked the change in you, you were tougher, more confident and he wondered what had brought the change. You were still the same woman he fell in love with, the same woman who was kind thoughtful and free but now? Now you weren’t afraid to speak your mind, you commanded a level of respect from his men now and he loved it. He loved everything about you and you him.

It was a month later when you both heard the commotion downstairs, you jolted up. Tom had only had to wake you from a couple of nightmares, they were seemingly leaving you, slowly but surely. Tom placed a hand on your arm, sitting up, your eyes frantically looked for his and calmed when they locked.

Tom got dressed as he made his way downstairs, he was shocked to see Harrison carrying the very man he’d spent just over four months looking for. He was struggling against Harrison but to no avail, Haz had a firm grip around the man’s arms.

“Found him, hiding out in some club.” Harrison spat as he threw the man down at Tom’s feet. He spat blood onto the tiled floor of the mansions entrance.

“Tom! How’d you like your girl? Sent her back nice and pretty for you.” Caleb said, laughing as he did. Tom felt his anger rise again, images of what he’d done to you filling his mind. Tom wasted no time in kicking him in the gut.

“Take him into the living room and tie him up, I’ll be back in a minute.” Tom said, he was going to say goodnight to you, this was going to take him a while. He huffed as he made his way into the bedroom and shit the door.

“What happened?” You asked as you rushed over to him.

“Haz found Caleb.” Tom said and he watched as panic flashed in your eyes for a moment before they found Tom’s.

“What are you going to do?” You asked, voice steady.

“Better question is probably what I won’t do.” Tom said as he took you into his embrace. He held you for a moment and kissed your head. You thought for a moment, this man had been your tormenter, the man who’d taunted you, made you feel heartbroken. This was the last part of getting over what happened to you. “I’m gonna be a while, so I came to say goodnight.” He whispered as he kissed your head.

“I want to come.” You spoke before you could stop yourself.

“What?” Tom asked, voice faltering.

“I want to watch you kill him Tom.” You spoke more confidently as you moved away from him.

“Absolutely not.” Tom said, sure he was willing to let you know about everything in his business, but seeing him deal with someone? No.

“Tom,” you said as you pinched the bridge of your nose. “I need this, I need to see him die. I’ll know it’s over then.” You whispered.

“Sweetheart, you don’t, I know you think you do but you don’t. You’re not gonna wanna see what I’m gonna do to him.” He said firmly.

“Tom, please?” You begged as you looked at him and you knew he was fighting an internal battle within himself. “If it gets too much, I’ll leave, I promise. I won’t think of you any differently, Tom I know you’d never hurt me.” You said, hoping to win him over.

“It’s not for the faint-hearted love. It’s not like in films, this is real life and what you’ll see, what you’ll watch happen it’ll change you. Make you more like me, darken you.” Tom said and you looked at him with all the confidence in world. This was the life you wanted, the life you’d chosen and you didn’t hold a single regret.

“Good.”

[wlwloverwrites]

He’s New to the Game

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Aaron Hotchner

Warnings: unfinished smut (18+) Minors DNI, dom reader w/ two bottom men, begging

Summary: Hotchner is a brat so Steve is more than happy to show what a good boy really looks like.

a/n: i am literally a lesbian and have no shit clue how men work. this is pure fiction. also it’s short cause it’s been sitting in my drafts for too long.

Main Masterlist

“They’re staring.”

“Let them.” You reply up bothered as you sip on your classical margarita. The cold glass slowly dripped onto the bar’s counter.

“How long do you time until they come over?”

Natasha asks from the other side of the bar with a smirk as she pours your a shot. You will admit your eyes drink in the woman in front you. She red hair is now a healthy blonde cut just above her shoulders. The blazer she wore left little to imagine with the lack of shirt she had on.

She looks good enough to eat.

“Give or take?” You ask jokingly as your eyes look back up to hers. She sends you a wink when they meet.

“Give or take.”

“I’d say they are headed over right now.” You reply with a smirk.

She shakes her head and is somewhat shocked. Both men who could not seem to take their eyes off you since you sat at the bar are strutting their way towards you. Oh what a sight you should have turned to see.

“Have fun.”

“Oh I will,” you wave with a wink.

You can feel the heat that come with both men as they sit beside you. You appreciate the cologne they wear on their wrists. The man on your left looks just as delicious as the man on your right.

“Babygirl, you know you can’t look that good and not expect us to come running.” Steve flirts as he takes his third shot of Asgardian mead.

You laugh at Steve’s comment, as you look at the hand resting on your left. Hotchner’s hand is wrapped around a cold glass. His sleeves are rolled up to his forearms and he looks hot as hell. “New look?”

You can almost see a smile on his lips but it’s gone just as fast. There’s a growing need between your thighs when you fully comprehend who you are surrounded by. These two sexy men, who are dying to fuck you.

Or get fucked by you.

“What do you say we get out of here?”

-

“Beg for me.”

Both men on waiting patiently on their knees, stripped bare a pair of lace panties barely covering their crotch. If only America could see their Golden Boy and the BAU could see their leading chief.

“Both of you,” you continue. Standing tall in your black stilettos with a strapped dick between your thighs… it’s waiting for one of their mouths. “Now.”

“Please.” Hotchner says pathetically and weak. He could fool you into thinking he didn’t want to be here, yet his erected cock says otherwise.

“Oh Hotchy. You are so cute.” you taunt squeezing his cheeks together to get him to look at you. You don’t mind the new hair on his face. In fact, you itch to feel it between your thighs later.

“Let Stevie show you how to truly beg.”

“Please, Y/N. I want whatever you want to give me. I’ll be a good boy. Please.” Steve stares at you like you’re the only thing in the world.

“Ya see Hotchner?” You cut off Steve and turn to look at the man kneeling.

“That’s how you beg.”

“Thanks for the lesson.” Hotch says flatly.

The FBI agent is just handing over the spot of getting fucked and praise over to Steve with his unneeded attitude. Handing over the rewards on a silver platter. The second he says it you can sense Steve’s excitement. Steve has always had a praise kink so he knows he’s in for a ride.

“Oh baby.” You mock letting your hand fall onto the agent’s neck. You can feel his heart rate increase and there is a smirk on your face. Applying pressure on the sides of his throat just to give him a taste.

“Lay on the bed, Hotchner.” Aaron makes his way onto the bed, not bothering to say ‘Yes, Ma’am’... He’ll pay for that later.

You pretend to not notice Steve’s face at your instructions aimed at the man next to him. Hurt. Still, you have high hopes he will still be good; you throw a wink at a hopeful Steve when you check out his panties. Steve almost moans at the attention. He’s always been the neediest and the horniest.

Steve knows how things work when you’re in charge, Aaron is still new.

His cock is throbbing; there is precome soaking the soft material retraining his cock. His thighs are huge, even when they’re relaxed. His tone stomach makes your mouth water and your lips tingle.

“Stevie,” you hum softly, stroking the false cock with your free hand.

He stands a little straighter.

“I want you to be my prime example.” You swear you see his cock twitch. “I want Hotchy to see what good boy can get if they follow the rules.”

lmk what you think with a comment, ask or reblog :)

[harryspet]

caged bird | s.rogers, p.parker & b.barnes

[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, dark!peter parker x reader, dark!bucky barnes x reader, polyamory, prison au, noncon/dubcon sex, this plot scenario is very unrealistic but oh well,  reader makes a deal so she can survive, hella manipulation, dominants/submissive, oral sex (male recieving), hella angst, shower sex, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

A/N: this is like a really f’d up situation so enjoy :):):) i also wrote this over the span of two weeks so i’m sorry if the pacing is weird and (also x2) this is nowhere near canon

In which you have to make a deal with three devils in order to survive in The Cage.

word count: 4.8k

main masterlist

Your eyelids were heavy though the bright light outside the bus was forcing you awake. Your limbs shackled to the seat, it reminded you that you had lost your freedom so quickly and that you’d probably never have a good night of sleep ever again, “How long?” Your mouth was dry, the heat from the wasteland you were driving through crept through the window. 

“Twenty minutes, princess,” Officer Rumlow looked you over for the millionth time like you were fresh meat ready for the slaughter. His perceptions weren’t far off and that’s what scared you the most. You weren’t cut out for a place like the Cage. 

A week ago you thought this place was fictional, a nightmare tale that was used to scare the new employees. It was still a nightmare but you were now living in it. You thought your heart might explode out of your chest as the facility finally came into view. Five stories of complete concrete surrounded by two, hundred-foot fences and surrounded by a barren wasteland. 

You were the only one on the bus. The Cage rarely received new inmates due to the nature of crimes that the prison was built for. Vigilantes and government traitors. Many used to consider them heroes but they were unregulated and dangerous. That's how they ended up here and, your boss, Alexander Pierce had sold you out to save himself.

“When … W-When am I going to get my phone call?” You asked as the bus entered the gates of the prison, finally stopping at the processing center. 

Rumlow chuckled, walking over to unchain your shackles from the floor of the bus, “Who are you going to call, princess? Mommy and Daddy?” He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you out of your seat and dragging you down the steps of the bus. 

You refused to accept that you had been erased. Your parents probably thought you were only missing, not that you had been wrongly accused of betraying the government and had been thrown into the most dangerous prison in the country. 

“They can’t do this,” You winced as your arm stung, “No trial. No jury. T-This is illegal!”

Rumlow ignored you, and you had to pick up your pace in order to not fall down. Your eyes wandered around, the sun nearly blinding you and stinging your skin at the same time. You noticed in the distance a group of male inmates standing behind a wired fence, wearing the same navy jumpsuit as you, and even from far away, you could see cold and hungry glances. 

You thought you were lucky for a minute since you were a woman but then you remembered what kind of women probably lived here. As you were brought inside, past several guards, through metal detectors and pat-downs. 

When you got to the body cavity search, you expected to part way with Rumlow. Standing in a small, cold room, Rumlow stood in the doorway with his hands casually in the pockets of his pants, “Undress, inmate,” Your eyes widened and you quickly crossed your arms, “Slowly, if you don’t mind.”

“I-I do mind,” You said quickly, “I’m supposed to have a female officer-”

“You don’t get those kinds of privileges in the Cage. We don’t separate inmates by gender,” You shook your head as your eyebrows began to furrow. 

“That’s insane-”

“Undress, inmate,” He said more sternly this time, “Or would you like me to do it for you? You’re lucky I don’t make you put on a show for the rest of the guards.”

You shook your head again, tears starting to form in your tired eyes, “Please don’t-” You tried to plead with him but, as you did, you watched him reach for his baton, “Okay, okay!”

Rumlow smiled a wicked smile, “Good. Bend over and cough, inmate. Let me see that cute, little ass of yours.”

+

When you finally got to see a female officer, she was escorting you to your cell. In your hands, you held the rest of your life which included one more set of clothes, bedding, and a toothbrush. You had to eat what the prison provided and you could only earn extra commissary from working. Hela tried to explain everything to you but you were only latching onto every other world. 

You walked along a slim passageway which had cells to the right and a metal railing to the left. There were three floors of cells and they seemed to go all the way around in a circle. Passed the railing and in the middle of the dome was where it seemed most of the inmates were gathered. 

The shouting, laughing, and fighting echoed through the dome and you couldn’t help but think those calls were for you. You could barely carry your bag of things and walk straight without stumbling. If they couldn’t send your weakness from your appearance then they’d surely sniff it out soon. 

“This can’t be allowed,” You whispered to Officer Hela, though her dark hair mixed with the look of death in her eyes didn’t scream “empathy” to you, “There has to be some sort of rule-”

She stopped in front of an empty, six by eight-foot cell which told you that this would be your new home, “You can sit in solitary if you like,” She spoke coldly, “Your meals get brought to you and you don’t have to deal with the animals in here but there’s no time outside. It’s easy to lose track of the days and forget which voices are real and which ones are inside your head. If you prefer to go insane before you die then I’d recommend that route.”

There wasn’t much of a choice to make and you found your feet moving before your brain could register. You stepped inside the cell, setting down your things on the bottom bunk, “A girl like you is going to need to latch onto a group, pledge your allegiance, and do not let them question your loyalty. They live by a different code here and following it is life or death, do you understand?”

You slowly nodded as you listened and part of you was grateful that she wasn’t completely cold, “T-Thank you-”

She scoffed, “Such a precious little thing … I give you a week,” With that, she turned on her heel and you felt hopeless once again, “I’ll escort you to dinner-”

You shook your head, “I’m not hungry.” You were actually starving but you could not yet face the beast. 

She only shrugged and pulled the door closed. The light above you flickered and you stared back down at your bunk. You were holding back your tears as you tried to make up your bed. Staring at the flimsy mattress material only made you more depressed so you decided just to lay down. Facing the wall, your tired eyes roamed over what was scribbled on the walls. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. is evil. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. is corrupt. 

You hated that the words initially sent a wave of anger through you. You hated that you still felt loyal to that group of monsters. You were a low level worker with good standing and they had just sent you to die?

With your face tucked into your arm, you cried yourself to sleep. 

+

The next day you had no choice but to face your fears. You couldn’t go any longer without food and, in a place like this, you needed to keep your energy up. Before the sun was even out, you heard the mechanical click of the cell door. Your favorite officer, Rumlow, made sure to stop by your cell during roll call. 

“So you decided on general population,” He popped the gum he was chewing, looking you over, “I’m sad to hear it, I was gonna visit you every day in solitary but I guess we’ll get some alone time soon enough.”

You scowled at him and a shiver went through you as he continued pass your cell. You were now grateful that you had chosen general population. 

That feeling didn’t last as inmates started moving from their cells down to breakfast. You stayed back, waiting to slip out of your cell when the crowd had passed. You lingered in the back of the line but no one seemed to notice you until you were in the kitchen line. The first reaction was a quiet murmur that went through the group of (mostly) men at the sight of you. 

You didn’t quite match anyone's stature, not even the women. At least they looked like they could take care of themselves. You were sure that your face probably had dark circles and sunken in features. You looked down when you felt someone's eyes on you and you cringed at every word whispered about you. 

“If I could just get my hands on her …”

“I wonder what a little girl like that could’ve done to get in here.”

“I’d be real gentle with her …” “I wouldn’t … I’d make her scream …”

“Move along,” Hela barked at the inmates in the line. You tried to tune them out as a staff member handed you your tray of food. A stale piece of toast, plastic-looking eggs, peaches, and what looked like could be oatmeal. 

It was when you turned away that you felt a pinch on your bottom. You turned around quickly only to find yourself staring at a chest rather than a face. As you looked up, a man with long, dark black hair stared down at you, “Aren’t you adorable?”

“I said move along, inmates,” You looked towards Hela for some sort of help but didn’t receive any. 

When you looked back again, the man had disappeared. You shook it off, figuring that was the least of what you were about to experience today. As you stepped out into the middle of the dome, you remembered the advice that Hela had managed to give you. 

There were cliques formed at each circular, metal table and you looked each one over as you walked past them. Again, people stared and said vile things but you spotted a table where two women were sitting. They were much older than you but the look you got from them was not maternal in the least. 

“Can I… sit here?” You knew the answer based on their thin-lipped scowls. 

You weren’t like any of them … you were fragile. Besides that, you used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. and the organization was responsible for locking half of these people away. You kept walking, eventually finding an empty table to sit at. 

All you could think about now was eating. You picked at your tray with your plastic fork, and with each bite of the food you cringed. The toast was also completely rock hard, “It helps if you dip it in water,” Your head snapped up as you felt a shadow over you before someone took a seat beside you. 

You weren’t expecting someone so young and you certainly weren’t expecting a friendly smile. You stared at the handsome man with your mouth agape. You hadn’t realized what he meant until you looked back down at the bread in your hands, “Oh … I doubt anything would make this edible-”

He ran his hand through his light brown hair, before reaching into the pocket of his jumpsuit. On the table in front of you, he placed a twinkie. The entire room seemed to go quiet for a moment and you realized that everyone was watching the two of you. 

“I can’t accept this …”

“Of course you can, it’s no big deal,” His brown eyes pierced into yours as he shrugged, “I’m Peter.”

The sugary, process food was calling your name but you still weren’t sure what his deal was, “T-Thank you,” Not wanting to come off rude, you accepted it, unknowingly beginning to seal your fate, “I’m … I’m-”

“Y/N Y/LN,” He finished for you which left your eyes wide with shock, “You’re already famous. The guards like to gossip and it’s rare we get new inmates so people get curious.”

“Oh,” You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. 

“Don’t worry, some people in here care about your charges, how you got here, but not me,” He tried to reassure you, a smile tugging at his lips, “S.H.I.E.L.D. screwed us all and I don’t think there’s a point in playing who’s the better bad guy.”

You looked around. Now that you knew that people knew your charges and your history, you were starting to feel unsettled. The only thing keeping you grounded was him reassuring you that he didn’t care, “How long-” Your voice came out in a whisper, “How long have you been here?”

Peter took a breath as he thought for a moment, “Few years. Now I kinda forget that I was a normal teenager when this all started.”

Years. And he was a teenager when they brought him here? Did they have no limits to their cruelty?

“God,” You breathed out, overwhelmed, “I don’t think I can … do this-”

Peter reached out, placing a calm hand on your arm, “Hey, hey, you have to survive here. Whether you were meant to be here or not, you have to live like this is your reality. Looking like you’re about to vomit is not a good look to everyone else. I saw Loki over there … he’s an asshole touching you like that  but it’s because he’s already sniffed you out.”

You nodded, trying to stay calm, “But I don’t know how to look … to look less weak.”

“For one, you’re going to have to start eating more and building some muscle,” You could tell by his grip on your arm that he was quite strong, “And the next time someone disrespects you, you have to stand up for yourself. You also can’t just bark like a little chihuahua. Maybe you could pick someone out, someone that you could win in a fight against.”

As Peter started to scan the room, you immediately started shaking your hand, “I can’t just attack someone,” You whisper-shouted, your eyes wide with worry. 

Peter chuckled, “Not with that attitude. Maybe you could go for Heather over there,” He eyed a woman who was practically elderly, “She has a cane so even you could probably overpower though I’ve seen here use the thing as a weapon a few times-”

“Peter,” You spoke sharply, “There has to be another way.”

Peter looked into your eyes and you lost hope for a moment until he seemed to perk up, “I have some friends, we kind of run together in this place, looking out for each other,” Peter explained and you listened intently, hoping for a means of survival that didn’t require attacking an old lady, “I could probably convince them to start looking out for you too. But it won’t be easy, we take loyalty very seriously here, and it wouldn’t be without a cost to you.”

“What sort of cost?”

Peter shrugged, “Could be lots of things. They serve plums on Friday and Bucky loves those so maybe you’d show your support to the group by giving him yours. Something like that,” You followed Peter’s finger as he pointed two men out, one with dark hair and the other with light. Both were built like bodybuilders, “Steve’s a respected leader here and maybe you could help run messages for him.” 

You nodded, “T-That sounds fair,” You paused for a moment as the men eyed you, “And for the twinkie? What do you want?”

“Now you’re starting to get it,” Peter grinned, “Eat it and that means you accept our claim. You’re one of us.”

“Can’t I have time to think about it?” 

Peter seemed to hesitate for the first time, “I’m sure you won’t get a better offer,” Your face fell, “But sure. I’d be quick about it though. Those big, doe eyes aren’t going to work on everybody.”

+

The dark-haired one was following you. Loki, Peter called him, hadn’t taken his eyes off you ever since you parted ways with Peter yesterday. He and his greek god, blonde friend were now walking behind you as you made your way through the halls. They were pushing mop buckets, evidently taking a break from their cleaning duty. 

You had gotten lost trying to find the hospital wing and now you were paying the consequences. 

“Little bird … caged and unprotected,” He taunted you and your heartbeat quickened as you tried to keep from looking back,  “Not even the guards want to save her. Poor thing.”

“It seems she’s in need of protecting, brother.”

“Protecting? If I got my hands on her, the last thing I’d think of is being gentle-”

You turned into the first room you passed, expecting to find somewhere to hide but you only seemed to encounter more people. It was the TV room, a staticy old television airing a baseball game was hanging in the corner of the room, and a bunch of men were sitting at different tables. 

They all turned their heads to you as you interrupted and you immediately recognized the two men from Peter’s loyal “group”. Bucky and Steve. Your heart was out of your chest at the point and you found yourself whispering a “sorry” before turning back towards the door. Loki and his brother, however, were waiting patiently. 

Loki leaned in the doorway, eyeing you like you were fresh meat. 

“Is this jackass bothering you, hon?” Your eyes wide with fear, you quickly realized that it wasn’t Loki taunting you. The dark-haired man’s, you remembered Peter calling him Bucky, voice boomed through the room.

You froze.

“Don’t you have toilets to scrub, Laufeyson?” The light hair man with a thick beard spoke, and by the look on his face you could tell he was a man of power. Not so much power-hungry but someone that demanded respect and often received it. 

Loki scoffed, looking over you again, “As far as I know, this one is free territory.”

“Well, this room is my territory and guess where she happens to be standing,” Loki’s jaw clenched at Steve’s words. 

“C’mere, hon,” Bucky spoke to you, signaling to cross the room. She hesitated but only for a moment as you realized your choices were Peter’s friends or letting Loki, have you. You crossed the room cautiously towards them, everyone now looking at you. You paused awkwardly in front of the table but a small yelp left your lip as Bucky grabbed you by the arm, spinning you into his lap. 

“See,” Steve said as you uncomfortably tried your best not to squirm, “Don’t touch things that aren’t yours, Laufeyson.”

You felt a hand clench your thigh and cringed.

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

As soon as Loki stormed away, you stood up, brushing whatever wrinkles had formed in your jumpsuit. Amused, Bucky smiled at you, “You could at least thank us,” Bucky leaned forward and you tried not to scowl. 

“Thank you,” You whispered. 

“Good girl,” Bucky smirked. 

“Lang, get Y/N a chair,” Steve ordered another man in the room. He was quick to obey the command and, even though you were in a new place, you felt you’d been transported into an entirely new planet. 

“You don’t have to-”

“Sit,” Steve said as the chair was placed beside you, “You can leave when you give us an answer to the offer Peter mentioned yesterday.”

You had thought long and hard about Peter’s offer and decided last night that you wanted to reject it. It wasn’t until now that you realized your decision was a mistake. There was no telling when you’d be getting out of this place, Peter had been here for years, and it seemed you were already a target. 

You’d even heard a rumor that the guards placed bets on how long you’d survive in here. 

“Yes …” You nodded your head, “That’s my answer.”

Steve's lips pulled into a small grin as he eyed his friend across the table, “Good choice, doll.”

+

A week later and you were still alive and relatively untouched. Bucky was quite handsy but Peter reminded you that it was just protocol. Everyone had to know that you were a part of their group and that, if you were harmed, they’d have to deal with Steve and his minions. 

Like Peter said, there were quite a few sacrifices you had to make. Your new job in the kitchen allowed you to provide the group with all the food they wanted and when you weren’t working, you were running errands for Steve. You got an idea of all the inmate leaders and how they functioned as a society. 

Steve seemed to be at the very top and you realized the possible consequences of crossing someone like him. Still, you felt more pampered than like you were a part of some elaborate prison gang. Most of your wishes were theirs to grant. 

They let you watch whatever you wanted in the TV room. Bucky always called you pet names that you were starting to grow fond of. Steve had some pull with the guards so Rumlow was never around to bother you anymore. Peter even found you a set of paints to occupy your time in your cell. As long as you followed them around like their cute little puppy, they were quite nice to you. 

“C’mon, run a lap with me. You gotta build your strength,” Peter asked you, his face sweaty and shining under the baking sun. He was shirtless, the shirtsleeves of his uniform wrapped around his waist, and his magnificent physique was on display just like Steve and Bucky’s. During rec time in the courtyard, you’d become accustomed to standing by the fence and watching them lift weights. 

“I’m good, thanks,” You smiled awkwardly, “I get tired just from watching you guys.”

“Peter’s right,” Steve let out a breath as he dropped his hundred-pound dumbbell.

“I just …” Your voice trailed off as Steve eyed you with his strong gaze. You knew that what he said goes but you were growing nervous, “I don’t want to get sweaty.”

“You’re serious?” Bucky chimed in, a curious look on his face. 

“Is that like a girl thing I don’t know about?” Peter flashed you an amused look and your cheeks began to heat with embarrassment. 

“Y/N?” Steve could see that you were hiding something.

You crossed your arms, sighing, “I just don’t want to have to shower, okay?”

“You haven’t showered since you’ve been here?” Peter asked incredulously. 

“I have!” You quickly defended yourself, “I mean, I’ve just been using the sink in my cell.”

“I see what this is about,” Bucky had a knowing look on his face, “Dollface is scared of the communal showers.”

Peter’s mouth formed the shape of an “o” as he realized what was going on. You still felt so embarrassed. It was yet another thing that made you seem totally defenseless. 

“Is that true?” Steve asked and you were beginning to feel overwhelmed by their concerned gazes, “Why didn’t you tell us? Next time, one of us will keep watch for you. No one’s gonna bother you.”

Maybe it was the isolation or the fact that your life would never be the same again. Maybe it was the fact that you’d never see your family again or that you cried yourself to sleep every night. That might be the reason you felt that they genuinely cared for you and why you wanted to fully embrace the comfort that they were providing. 

Maybe that was why you wanted to belong to them. 

+

For the first time, you were reminded of your old life. You weren’t sure how long you’d lost yourself under the water, letting time get away from you, as the warm water cascaded along your skin. The showers had a sorry excuse for water pressure and, despite the creepiness of the beige tiles and flickering light above, when you closed your eyes you were in paradise. 

“All clean, beautiful?” Bucky’s voice brought you out of your trance. Suddenly you were back in the square room with showerheads lining each wall. You wiped the water from your eyes before turning off the water. 

“Y-Yes, I’m almost done!” You shouted back, grabbing your towel from off the hook. You pressed it to your face, drying your skin. You were quite grateful that they’d taken the extra steps to make you feel protected, “Bucky-”

As you turned around, that feeling of gratitude quickly turned to something resembling fear. He was supposed to wait for you outside the bathroom and yet, there he was, only three feet away from you. 

“What are you-”

He looked over you hungrily and you pressed your towel closer to your body, “You have no idea how long it's been since I’ve been with a beautiful woman like you … Steve too. And Peter, he’s just learning the ropes.”

You took a step back, towards the wall, and as you did you caught a glimpse behind Bucky’s towering figure. Both Steve and Peter were here, stalking closer. 

“You said you’d protect me…” Your voice cracked, your hands beginning to shake. 

“We will,” Steve spoke, determined, “No one else but us will touch you.”

“Nothing in here is without a cost, Y/N,” Peter seemed a bit solemn like his current life was not what he wanted it to be but he was just as hungry, if not more, as Bucky. 

Bucky grabbed you then, his eyes impatient, and you wrestled for your towel for only a moment before he easily snatched it away from you. A helpless squeal left your mouth as he grabbed you by the arm with one hand and placed his other hand between your legs. He grabbed your thigh tightly and as his hand moved further up, you found yourself paralyzed. 

“Good girl. You’re going to take all of us,” Bucky spoke quietly, shushing you, his grip growing tighter and tighter. Before you knew it, all three of them were surrounding you, their curious hands wandering over your wet skin. Grabbing your breast, your thighs, turning your face to bite at your neck. 

“Get on your knees,” Steve grunted against your ear, growing impatient like his friend. 

When you didn’t move, Peter was the one to push you down onto the cold floor. You hiccuped, trying not to hyperventilate as they overwhelmed you from each side. As they all started to pull down their clothes, you made one final attempt at trying to crawl away. 

Steve grabbed you by your throat, making your efforts futile, pushing your face towards his crotch. You felt it, hard and throbbing against your cheek, “Open up, don’t make this hard, doll,” Through the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky stroking his own length, waiting patiently for his turn. 

Steve grabbed you by your hair next, pressing your closed lips against his tip. He forced himself in your mouth, “There you go,” Steve grunted, pushing himself deeper, “Move that tongue around.”

Steve Rogers could make your life a living hell in the Cage. Was this really the price you had to pay in order to survive here? You couldn’t imagine it being any worse than this but Steve could make that possible. That’s why you started to swirl your tongue like he said, deciding that their orgasms would end your pain. 

Bucky was much rougher than Steve, pinching your nose closed and enjoying watching your eyes widen and water. He practically touched the back of your throat and still commanded you to stroke Peter and Steve’s cocks with your hands while you took him in your mouth. Somehow, you managed. 

Peter was much more gentle and you were grateful for that. His hands rested softly on the back of your head, guiding your mouth slowly up and down his length, “God, this is awesome,” He cursed, his head tilting back as he enjoyed the stimulation. When he finally finished, his warmth filled your mouth and before you could spit or catch your breath, Bucky grabbed you again. 

He came so far down your throat that you were forced to swallow it but, unlike him, Steve took his time, “This little mouth. Is ours. Every single hole. Is ours. No one else, do you understand?” With each sentence, he thrust hard until he filled your mouth. You leaned over, coughing as you felt the stinging of your sore throat. 

You were about to collapse onto the dirty cold floor when gentle arms lifted you up into a broad chest. You found yourself not fighting, only pressing your face into Bucky’s chest as you began to sob. 

Steve didn’t have to say anything more. You understand your new position and there wasn’t anyone else there to save you from that fate. 

That night you learned there was a change to your cell assignment. You’d sleep in Steve’s arms, a little bird that was safe and protected in it’s cage. 

+

hope you enjoyed!! i’m posting this instead of sleeping because I have class in this morning :) 

[actuallysaiyan]

Okay I just finished devouring your masterlist 😩🌊 But could I please have a Madara NSFW alphabet? Or Itachi? It's up to you but... 👀 (I just need the Uchiha men 🥲)

A/N: Awhh I’m so glad you enjoy my writing! I decided on Itachi for the time being, as someone else requested Madara ;) so look out for that one very soon, because I love the Uchiha men a lot too. There will be lots of Uchiha men content on this blog, that I can assure you!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Itachi is soft and caring, and he’ll clean you up and make sure you’re okay. He’ll bring a washcloth and softly clean up the mess the two of you have created. He’ll run you a bath if you’d like, and he’ll wash you and massage you. Then he’s going to tuck you into bed and snuggle closely.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Itachi isn’t very picky. He likes his body just fine, and while his sharingan is amazing, it can be a curse sometimes. Maybe it’s his hair. It’s something that he’s always prided himself in, even if it’s just something that is naturally beautiful for him.

Itachi is a sucker for pretty eyes and a kind smile. He loves watching the way sunlight hits his lover's eyes in just the way possible. He could spend forever just looking deeply into your eyes. And your smile is a reminder of how beautiful the world can be.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Itachi, like the rest of the Uchiha men, has a breeding kink. He gets very weak about cumming deep inside of you. But he’ll never do it without your permission. He’s going to make sure you’re okay with this before he does it. If you let him do it, he’s going to be so happy to share such an intimate moment with you.

For you, Itachi loves to make you cum as much as he can. He doesn’t always have all the time in the world to spend with you, but when he does get some free time, he loves making you cum so he can watch you come undone. It’s so sexy to him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Itachi fantasizes a lot about you cumming on his cock. He spends a lot of time without you, so he just thinks about it at night when he’s lying in bed. It makes his cock so hard when he can imagine you bouncing up and down on it, and you’re moaning his name and he’s just so in awe. He really enjoys this alone time in his own mind.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Itachi has no experience prior to you, so you need to teach him a few things. He learns very fast and becomes an expert in no time. He knows your body and he knows how to treat you, so it doesn’t take long for him to know exactly where to touch you to have you panting and begging him to make you cum.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Itachi loves missionary or anything involving you being so close to him. He wants to hold you in his arms while he thrusts into you so slowly and sensually. He also loves the om position(you on his lap) and he’s a big fan of the spooning position too. Sometimes he loves lazy sex so he’ll get behind you and just thrust into you so slowly.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s not funny at all in the moment. He loves to be sensual and romantic with you, so he’ll praise you and call you cute pet names. Itachi wants you to know that you are well loved and that he enjoys every moment he spends with you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s got some hair down there, but it’s pretty well maintained. He likes to keep himself clean shaven or at least well trimmed. The carpet does match the drapes of course, it’s very dark and black, but it’s not super coarse. It’s nice and fluffy.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Itachi is so romantic. He loves to kiss and caress you all over, and he’ll praise you. He wants you to know how much he loves you. You mean the world to him, and he needs you to know it in case something bad happens to him. He’ll hold you close and whisper sweet little nothings in your ear as he thrusts so slowly and sensually.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Itachi masturbates regularly when he can’t be with you. It goes hand in hand with his fantasies about you. He’ll use his hand and he likes to take it slow and draw it out like he does with sex. He’ll start to think of you at night when he’s alone and one thing leads to another, and then he’s pumping into his hand and moaning your name.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Itachi definitely has a breeding kink. It’s very strong within him, as he wishes to have his own family. He longs for that happy life. Itachi also loves spanking, dominating you(but he can switch too) and he loves marking you(so biting, choking, bruising a little). He’ll never get too rough with you, but he does love leaving little love bites and little bruises from where he grabs onto you when he fucks you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s a big fan of doing it in private on a bed. He gets all the time to draw out sex this way. If not, he knows it’s okay to have quickies in places that could potentially get you caught. Itachi is willing to risk that, but he’d rather fuck on a bed. He loves bathtub sex as well, as you can just be warm together and the water makes everything so much more fluid and it feels so good this way.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He needs to hear you say it. He loves it if you lean in towards him and whisper “I want you in me,” in his ear. If you start to rub his thigh and his chest, he’ll be pretty turned on. He also loves it if you start to get a little cheeky, so maybe if you bend over while wearing a short skirt or just flaunting your tits in his face a little.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Itachi will never do anything that will hurt you for real. He’s okay with some pain during sex as long as you are consenting, but he’ll never hurt you for real. He’s also not huge on urine play or scat, as he hates the idea of desecrating you. You’re beautiful, and he can just paint you with his seed instead ;)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Itachi is very weak for blow jobs. If you get on your knees and take his cock out of his pants and just start sucking him off, he’s going to cry out and tug on your hair a little. He loves it when you look up at him through your lashes while you deep throat him. He needs to stop himself from cumming right then and there.

He’s also a huge fan of going down on you. He’ll spend so much time between your thighs, just lapping at your juices and watching your reactions to the different techniques and speeds he uses. He’s very good at reading your body.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s almost always slow and sensual, but some nights he’s feeling a bit more hungry for sex. He’ll pound into you and make you scream his name, all while squirting all over him. He wants you to feel good, and he usually puts your pleasure above his own, but some nights he needs that release. He’ll always tell you beforehand. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They aren’t his favorites, but he knows sometimes that’s all the time he has with you. He’ll lead you to an empty closet or something like that, and he’ll pick you up so you can wrap your legs around him. Then he pumps himself into you and tries to challenge himself to see how quickly he can make you cum.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Itachi is game to experiment, but he needs to know you are willing to try new things before he does anything. He’s excited about trying new positions or new techniques, but he loves to hear your input on things as well. He knows you’ve got some good ideas, so he wants to use them.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s got amazing stamina. He can last a very long time, and he needs very little rest between rounds. He’ll fuck you all through the night and then some in the morning if you can keep up with him.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’s into toys, but he loves using them more on you than using them on himself. He’s a little vanilla sometimes with sex, but if you want to use a vibrator on his cock while you make out with him, he’s not going to complain. He loves it when you take charge and use toys on him to make him realize how good they are.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Itachi doesn’t mind teasing from time to time, but it takes barely anything for him to melt at your pleading. He loves making you cum and pleasing you, so teasing you isn’t always in his plans. But he also loves the pathetic looks and noises you make when he edges you for so long. It’s worth it when you finally cum hard.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not very quiet, but he isn’t super loud either. He loves to moan and make noise because it really feels so good. He’s not embarrassed about letting you know that he’s having a good time too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Itachi loves it if you push his face into your tits while you’re riding him. He loves how soft and warm they are and he’ll kiss them and suck on your nipples and it’s honestly something that will probably make him cum so fast! If you want him to cum quickly, just bury his face in your tits.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s lean but muscly, and he’s very well built. His cock is very long, and has a nice girth. It’s not very thick, but still good for stretching you out. It’s probably about 9 inches and has a very slight curve to hit that sweet spot.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a normal sex drive. He loves having sex with you when he can, but he’s busy and he knows it can’t take over his whole life. Don’t worry, he won’t ignore you if you have needs that need to be met. He’ll take good care of you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

A long time. He loves to relish in the moment of just holding you in his arms and how peaceful everything is when you’re just there sleeping. You help keep him calm and comforted.

[little-spoiled-brat]

may i request 3 and 10 w/ levi from your sfw prompts? also congrats on your milestone!!

WRITING PROMPT # 8:

"shh, you're safe"

"close your eyes, listen to my heartbeat"

pairing: levi x reader

cw/tw: mentions of sexual assault, angst but fluff in the end

- safe in his arms -

it was supposed to be a quick undercover mission, find the person, get the intel needed from them, rendezvous with levi and get back to headquarters.

this wasn’t part of it. you were not supposed to get cornered into an alley with the unwanted roaming hands of men around your body.

you could’ve — should’ve taken them down but fear overtook your senses and you froze on the spot. you tried to reach for the knife you had hidden but you couldn‘t — you were helpless.

your eyes were closed tightly, tears heavily streaming down your face as you were pushed up against the wall. a hand on your mouth to muffle any calls for help — for levi. your body trembled as the men took turns running their filthy hands on you, touching you in places with no permission.

”come on, sweetheart. we can have fun for a few hours” the man whispered in your ear as more tears fell down your cheeks when he attached his lips onto your neck.

”you’re a beautiful one, aren’t ya? look at this body" the other one said as he trailed his hands down your chest to your inner thighs. you whimpered when his hand came in contact with that area and you thrashed around to get him off but to no avail.

you almost accepted defeat, unable to do anything but close your eyes and cry while they had their way with you.

all of a sudden, the men were ripped away from you and you fell to the floor. you curled yourself up, unable to look at whoever saved you. the sound of grunting can be heard a few feet away from you as two bodies fell not long after.

“y/n?”

you slowly looked up, registering the voice of your lover in your head. levi extended his hand, giving you the option to reject as you looked down at it with tears in your eyes.

”levi“ you breathed out, crashing yourself in his arms. he cradled you ever so gently, softly shushing your sobs by running his hand through your hair.

”shh, you’re safe. you’re safe, y/n” levi assured as you fisted his shirt in your hands, afraid to let him go. after a few minutes, levi pulled away slightly so he could look at you.

”we need to get back to headquarters, are you comfortable with me carrying you-“ levi started but you gently cut him off by nodding your head. your knees felt weak and to be honest, you didn’t want to lose the feeling of levi’s arms around you even for just a second.

“okay then, tell me if you get uncomfortable and i’ll put you down” levi said, kissing your forehead and gently scooping you up in his arms. you buried your face into his chest, letting yourself be calmed by his familiar smell of black tea — his familiar smell of home.

levi left the alley you were in and started walking back to headquarters. thankfully, it was night time and you were still in trost so the journey back wasn’t long and didn’t create much unwanted attention from civilians.

the both of you arrived in headquarters a few minutes later, you offered to walk yourself just in case anyone else was up at this hour of the night but levi gently refused. he said that he didn’t care of anyone saw him carrying you, he was not letting you out of his arms.

you nodded in reply, letting him bring you inside the building of the headquarters. erwin and hange’s voices greeted the both of you the second levi stepped foot inside.

“not now“ levi growled, a threatening tone to his voice as he glared at both erwin and hange — erwin more than hange since he was the one who sent you to this undercover mission.

you needed to give your mission report to erwin but you were too shaken up to even form coherent sentences, let alone tell him every information you got from the mission.

levi brought you to his office, locking the door behind him as he sat down on the couch and set you down on top of him. you wrapped your arms around him tightly and he continued to run his hand through your hair soothingly.

”are you hurt?“ levi asked as you slightly looked up at him and shook your head. “j-just a bit s-shaken, that’s a-all“

levi released a sigh, wrapping his arms around you tighter and pressing kisses on the top of your head. you were tired but you took every remaining energy you have to not let your eyes close.

you knew that if you do end up falling asleep that you will be forced to relive what happened in the alley in your dream and you didn’t want that.

levi noticed the exhausted look in your eyes and your refusal to let them close. he gently cupped your cheek and made you look up at him.

“i know you’re tired. close your eyes, listen to my heartbeat. i’m not gonna let anything happen to you“ levi said, you stared at him for a second and realized that he just gave you a distraction — a lifeline if you will.

you nodded tiredly, pressing you ear against his chest and hearing the soft thumps of his heart underneath. you let your eyes fall close, the slow and steady beats from his chest bringing you solace.

”thank you, i love you“ you mumbled just before you let darkness take you into a peaceful sleep. your body relaxing, letting yourself be vulnerable once again because you knew that you will always be safe in levi’s arms.

[twistnet]

nsfw alphabet [ chibs telford ]

WARNINGS ─ gn!reader, smut [ oral sex, cum, kinks, masturbation ]

DISCLAIMER ─ if you are under the age of 18, do not read [ nsfw content under cut ] 

a = aftercare [ what they’re like after sex ]

is one to light a cigarette the minute the act is done, patiently waiting you come down from your high and maybe, gain some feeling back in your legs again. his hands is coaxing you to even your breathing as he pulls you to rest against his chest

once he’s stamped out his cigarette, he’s pulling on a pair of briefs and walking to the washroom to get you cleaned up. if a bath and a change of sheets is needed, he’ll get that together for you and get the bedroom all squared away until you’re ready to join him once again

b = body part [ their favorite body part of theirs, and also their partner’s ]

his gentleman side would say that his favorite body part on his partner is their mind and tongue. nothing sexual about it, but he loves to hear you speak your mind, take control of the area you are in and take no shit from anyone

now, his more non-gentlemen side would say he’s a sucker for chests [ boobies or not ]. he loves laying his head there and listening to your heartbeat but also loves pressing his face right into your sternum. getting to bit and lick and mark every inch of the skin

on himself, he would say his hands. years of garage work, motorcycles, and other things have roughed them up quite a bit and he gets a small spark of joy when he gets to run his clast finger tips down any part of your exposed skin

c = cum [ anything to do with cum basically…i’m a disgusting person ]

going back to the above, on your chest. getting to paint you with his cum gets him hard all over again, and is not embarrassed to groan at the sight. oh, but you happen to swipe up some of the cum on your finger and pop it in your mouth? you might have just killed him

on the flip side, he does like cumming inside you, but likes to ask before doing so. but if given permission, loves watching it drip out of your hole. and might push some of it back in with a loving smile

d = dirty secret [ pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs ]

playing the game that you don’t know each other at a club party, and him taking you to his dorm for a little fun time. has never said anything, but has thought about it often

e = experience [ how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing? ]

with a previous wife and plenty of croweaters that he’s had his way with in the past, there is no denying this man has gotten around. he might try the first time to use what he’s used on croweaters before, but quickly finds that you might tick a different way and has to relearn basically everything. but don’t worry, he’ll make sure to get plenty of practice in

f = favorite position [ this goes without saying ]

missionary. standard & reverse cowgirl. doggy-style. spooning. 

g = goofy [ are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc ]

while he tends to be serious most of the time, he finds that if he can’t laugh something off like you getting a cramp midway through, or he fumbles while trying to get into a position, then the relationship won’t last

h = hair [ how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc ]

has truly given up on keeping groomed. use to in younger years make everything nice and clean, but has since stopped as he just doesn't want to do it anymore and regrowth is a bitch. now, he does trim so it doesn’t get too long

i = intimacy [ how are they during the moment, romantic aspect… ]

very affectionate in a private setting. pulls you in close and loves to just be able to touch you and have you surround him in anyway possible. whispering sweets words in gaelic, holding your face in his hands. that kind of thing

j = jack off [ masturbation headcanon ]

never really used his hand to get himself off, as there was always a croweater nearby to help him out and be his companion for the night. since he has started a relationship with you, he might do it more to keep himself faithful while on runs. he doesn’t do anything with the croweaters on runs, even though it’s always been something the married men have always done, he’s not one to partake

k = kink [ one or more of their kinks ]

tit-fucking ─ going back to his fascinations with chests, having the ability to run his cock against your sternum turns him on so fucking much. sometimes, he’ll do in unprompted, but sometimes, you pat your chest and he’ll quickly get into position

stockings ─ any color, any detail is fine with him. they look so pretty against your skin and are so soft. will literally buy you one in ever color. they stay on while everything else comes off.

l = location [ favorite places to do the do ]

his/ your home or in his dorm at the clubhouse. both are safe places for him and there is less room for interruptions and he can focus he’s sole attention on you

m = motivation [ what turns them on, gets them going ]

a strong confidence paired with a mouth that has no problem telling someone off or letting people know what you think. you sitting or riding with him on his bike -- also wearing his helmet. kicking ass against some of his brothers -- winning a drinking game, a round of pool, or darts. jeans that seem to hug all of your curves. leather attire of any kind. you speaking gaelic

n = no [ something they wouldn’t do, turn offs ]

sharing you with someone ─ he’s seen some of his brother indulge in something like this and  has always felt funny about it. plus, the man has a major jealous streak when prompted and that just doesn’t mix well

degradation & abuse ─ this was after having seen it during one of the porn shoots and he had to step away, not truly understanding how someone could do that to another human in a vulnerable situation

o = oral [ preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc ]

oral for him is split 50/50. in his eyes, it’s only fair if you suck him off that he return the favor.

receiving ─ he’s coaching you through it, even if you know how to do it. he loves talking to you, lightly pulling your hair away from your face or affectionately caressing your cheek or jaw. he lets you do what you want, and isn’t going to dictate what you can and cannot do. as this is just as much for him as it is for you

giving  ─ okay, so maybe i lied about the 50/50 split. to a degree. once this man gets to return the favor, it’s hard to pull him away after the first orgasm. he will continue to build you up for another one and won’t come up for breath until you’ve cum at least three times

p = pace [ are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc. ]

depends on the mood and can range from a rough fucking or soft lovemaking.

he isn’t fast per say, most of his thrusts are quite calculated in the sense that he knows what spots make you weak at the knees or make your spine tingle. so, while the thrusts are powerful, there is no speed to them as he doesn’t want you to come undone too quickly

soft lovemaking on the other hand is just like the above, but the power behind the thrusts is toned down. it’s still there, but it’s not as rough. he takes his time,  either letting you ride him or spooning you. this pace happens to get you to completion much later, but it is so worth it

q = quickie [ their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc. ]

yes, yes, and yes. quickies are frequented quite heavily in your relationship, as sometimes, that is the only way the two of you can blow of some steam. a quickie will happen before runs or when you sneak off during parties to hurry back like you weren’t gone for 20 minutes

but don’t get it confused, this man would always rather have a nice, quiet session with you over a quickie any day.

r = risk [ are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc. ]

isn’t one to take risks without thinking through or talking about them first. sure, he likes that you are open enough to come and talk to him about what you would like to do in the bedroom, but would like to make sure that everyone is on the same page

s = stamina [ how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last… ]

two rounds max. and that goes for whatever mood and pace the two of you happen to be in. chibs doesn’t want to overexert himself or you, as sometimes just one session is enough to knock you out for the evening. 

now, this isn’t going to impact the amount of orgasms he’s going to pull from you over the course of the night. no one ever asked how long the sessions were going to last, just how many you are able to do

t = toy [ do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves? ]

was never one to use toys on partners, and had never thought for himself.

if you own toys for personal use and would like to incorporate them into the bedroom, he has no problem using them to aid in getting you off. however, he will draw the line at using them for himself, as it’s not really his thing

u = unfair [ how much do they like to tease ]

teasing is his specialty, but this man makes timed and deliberate strikes that will have to melting in his hand within a few hours. but don’t let it fool you, as he can wait for as long as he needs and he definitely isn’t going to be the one to crack 

so, if you want to push through your conversation with your friends and pretend he hasn’t been feeling you up this past hour, you go ahead. you’ll break eventually

v = volume [ how loud they are, what sound they make ]

no very loud would in comes to moans of pleasure, as they are usually quite muffled to some degree -- as he’s either muffling them into your skin as he presses kisses or is doing it more so under his breath

on the flip side, he isn’t quite when speaking to you. the amount of filth and sin that leaves his mouth as he slides into you over and over again is almost too much to handle. especially when it’s paired with his thick accent, that also, seemingly gets deeper the more settles into you

w = wild card [ get a random headcanon for the character of your choice ]

roleplay, specifically one where he can use the premise of him being a biker and you either taking on an authority figure or someone who’s seen in a more innocence light. bringing his kutte into the mix, or his bike is super appealing to him and anything the two of you can do with that is okay in his book

x = x-ray [ let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words ]

six inches. thick and slightly veiny from bottom to tip. curves slightly when erect.

y = yearning [ how high is their sex drive? ]

despite his age, he has a medium to high sex drive. this all depends on what is currently going on and how he’s feeling. 

his sex drive is medium when he’s doing day to day things. being ready as almost a drop of a hat if you are wanting to initiate something with him during some down time or at a club party. it might take just a little convincing, however, you seem to have him wrapped around your finger and he has a hard time resisting you.

his sex drive is high when he’s very frustrated -- i.e. with happenings involving the club, or when he’s been while on a run for some time. however, he is a patient man and isn’t one to pull you away mid conversation with someone just to throw you into the bed and have his way with you. he will let you come to him and from there, will go as many rounds as the two of you will allow

z = zzz [ how quickly they fall asleep afterward ]

as his finishes off his cigarette, and the post-orgasm high has settled, he pulls you in close. letting you rest against his chest as finger tips run along your spine with practiced ease. it’s his way of showing you a small hint of affection without doing too much if that’s not what you are in the mood for

at this moment, he is fully relaxed and slowly starts to draft off. there is really no telling if he falls asleep first, or if you do, but he’ll fall asleep if he wants to. but not without making sure you are well taken care of before doing so

[drwcn]

ok but for fem!wwx au does lan zhan believe the rumours? and if so what does that mean for the whole 'i birthed him with my own body!' cause lan zhan did the maths and was like 'no it was just the once and this child is too old' but if he thinks he was just one in a line does he go back to bm after nightless city to rescue a kid he thinks is wei ying's but with another man? does he spend the three years in seclusion cursing every jin whose name he remembers as cowards only to step out, take one look at sizhui, and have an 'oh. i know why wei ying was so determined to save wen qionglin' moment???

Answer:  Haha, nah, Lan Wangji was fairly sure Sizhui wasn’t Wei Ying’s, for several reasons. One, Wen Yuan was born before the wen remnants even went to the Burial Mount. Lan Wangji saw the small child amongst the escape party that rainy night at the  concentration camp. Also, Wen Ning was several years younger than them, which would make it kind of weird if he were the dad. Before Wen Ning became the Ghost General, everyone just knew him as Wen Qing’s kid brother.  Lan Wangji, however, absolutely believed Jiang Yan to be Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian’s child even before Wei Wuxian was resurrected... 

《the midnight sun》 — 

[original], snippets [x] [x] [x] [x], other posts found under #lanyan or #midnight sun

midnight sun [snippet 7]

When Yan’er turned ten, Jiang Cheng decided it was time for her to accompany him to Cultivation Conferences. Most sect heirs began their training this way; Jiang Cheng still remembered his first time, trailing nervously in Jiang Fengmian’s wake. 

Heiresses, in comparison, were few and far between. Even head disciples were rarely girls. Jiang Wanyin had no children. His head disciple was his heiress, and his heiress was Jiang Yueqian (江月千). 

长烟一空 - when the smoke clears; 皓月千里 - the moon casts a thousand miles of light 浮光跃金 - which dances upon the water, golden 静影沉壁 - the shadow of the moon itself like jade underwater*

A jade underwater indeed.

“Shifu.”

Speaking of the devil, here she comes, walking measuredly down the long stairs of Jinlintai towards Jiang Cheng, the epitome of an obedient, filial disciple. It had only been a day and Jiang Yan already had the world fooled. Only Jiang Cheng knew how impossibly obstinate and utterly uncontrollable she was when her mind was fixed.

"Ah, Jiang-zongzhu, this is..." Spotting her, Lan Xichen glanced beyond his shoulder, the question dangling in the sentence he did not deem necessary to finish.

Unbeknownst to Lan Xichen, the child that made her way over was his niece by blood. Jiang Cheng was acutely aware that Yan'er actually resembled Lan Wangji a great deal, and despite having weighed the risks and gains against each other repeatedly before deciding to bring Jiang Yan along, now he was no longer so certain in his calculations. Lan Xichen was not a simple peasant; what if he detected a trace or a hint of her heritage between the furrow of her brows or the curve of her eyes? What if...

Jiang Cheng turned, raising an arm towards Jiang Yan, an introduction ready, but whatever words he had prepared in advance died on on his tongue when he laid eyes on the girl. Suddenly, he was no longer worried that others would suspect her to be Lan Wangji's child.

There was a red ribbon in her hair.

Yan'er stopped at a polite distance from the two older men and bowed in perfect form.

Jiang Cheng's heart stuttered violently in his chest at the sight of that red ribbon falling sideway over her small shoulder. If souls could travel, his would have left him in an instant. He stood in disincorporated panic, wrestling with the nauseating sensation of being ripped from his reality and tossed so far into the distant past that he felt whole again.

"Shifu, Lan-zongzhu." Yan'er greeted.

Shifu. Lan-zongzhu. In another world, another life, she would not need to be so formal. She could easily bound up to them, carefree, cooing jiujiu and bobo and ask to be bailed out from whatever trouble she caused.

Instead, he was only her shifu, and Lan Xichen, a stranger in her life. It would be laughable, if fate had not dealt them each such a wretched hand.

Jiang Cheng stepped towards her. “Where did you get this?” 

Jiang Yan looked up in surprise, her hand reaching up and making an aborted motion to touch the red ribbon in her hair.

“Qin-shenshen gave it to me. Is it not nice?” 

Qin Su. Jiang swallowed down a sigh of relief. Earlier, the Jin servants had sent word that Jin-fu'ren had baked treats for Jin Ling, and the boy had wasted no time dragging his favourite person - his Yan'er jiejie - to his aunt's place with him. Clearly, Qin Su had seized the opportunity to dote on the girl in place of the daughter she never had. Qin Su meant well. She couldn't have known. She's never even met Wei Wuxian.

In this state, Jiang Cheng could barely bring himself to look at his disciple, but he forced himself nonetheless to kneel and tuck an errant strand of baby hair behind her ear. “Very pretty.” 

Yan'er smiled.

Jiang Cheng could cry.

They'd been lucky thus far. Yunmeng's Jiang-xiao-guniang was born a taciturn girl who did not like to smile or laugh, not even when she was expected to for polite society. Whether she was happy or sad, one would be hard pressed to tell. Only in front of her master Jiang Cheng or her Jin Ling-didi did she elect to reveal the full expanse of her emotions. Yet, whenever Jiang Cheng bore witness to that smile as warm and incandescent as sunlight, he could not help but shudder somewhere deep. Recalling the radiant days of years gone by, he could still see - every time he closed his eyes - his er-shijie smiling at him in the very same fashion.

Aiyo, Jiang Cheng ~

So...they'd been very lucky thus far, that Yan'er was not so like her mother in that way, not so free and generous with her smiles. Or else this devastating secret —Wei Wuxian's only wish — would not be able to withstand the test of time.

"Very pretty, Yan'er." He reaffirmed. "Did you thank Jin-furen?"

"I did."

Jiang Cheng stood and turned back to face Lan Xichen, and realized they were being joined by two others: Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji. The latter of two stared directly down at Jiang Yan, visibly stricken and unblinking, as though he'd just seen a ghost. After all, he had often been on the receiving end of that signature smile once upon a time. It was probably not a smile he'd ever expected to see again in this life.

In hindsight, perhaps Jiang Cheng should have made Yan'er wear her uniform like all the other disciples instead of her favourite indigo robes.

“Ah, Wangji, shufu -” Lan Xichen was quick to react, sensing animosity brewing in the disquiet that stretched taut between his younger brother and his fellow sect master. "Jiang-zongzhu, perhaps you would introduce us?"

The First Jade smiled kindly down at Yan'er. She returned his kindness with a polite nod.

Lan Wangji finally dragged his gaze up to meet Jiang Cheng's, a rarity since their violent parting at Nevernight. The venerated Hanguang-jun had developed a habit of pretending that Jiang Wanyin of Lotus Pier did not exist at all. He probably preferred, dreamed of it even, if Jiang Cheng had been one to fall of the cliff that day. He probably hated himself for not shoving him into the molten abyss when he could to avenge the love of his life.

Love. What did Lan Wangji know of love? Jiang Cheng sneered inwardly. One did not compromise one's love and abandon her, ill and with child, to bleed out alone in a cave tainted by demonic spirits.

One did not watch idly as one's love and her people are reduced to ashes for the power and greed of men either....

Jiang Cheng buried the offending thought, too familiar with Wen Qing's ghost that still haunted him in his moments of weakness. Without breaking gaze, he laid a hand on the crown of Jiang Yan's head and said, "This is my first disciple, Jiang Yan, Jiang Yueqian."

"Yueqian greets Zewu-jun, Lan-lao-xiansheng, Hanguang-jun."

Jiang Cheng watched as the icy fire within Lan Wangji's eyes flicker, fizzle, and extinguish entirely. Jiang Cheng's vague silence had allowed him the space to make his assumptions, and he had assumed the most insane explanation.

Is it so difficult for you, wondered Jiang Cheng. To believe that she could be yours? So impossible, that you would choose to doubt Wei Wuxian instead?

Fine.

Hanguang-jun. The venerated Second Jade of Gusu. That's all you'll ever be. Yan'er will never call you Father.

Jiang Cheng decided he had spent enough time today making nice. "Zewu-jun, it's getting late. If nothing else, I will be taking my leave. The conference continues tomorrow. I will see you then. Yan'er, come."

Yan'er bowed again to the senior cultivators, perfectly well-mannered. A dash of surprise crossed those bright eyes, however, when Jiang Cheng took her hand to lead her away. She followed wordlessly, trusting him, and did not look back once at the Lans she left behind.

Now that Yan'er was out in society, there would surely be rumours. No matter. Rumours were nothing Jiang Wanyin could not withstand. How ironic, indeed, that this was to be his lot in life.

For the first time, Jiang Cheng felt he could understand his father.

Note:

The poem is from the Song dynasty, by poet 范仲淹 from his work 《岳阳楼记》

Jiang Cheng of course is also working off a lot of assumptions about Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's relationship. He has his reasons for hating and blaming Lan Wangji, but not all the blame is deserved.