#i just feel like a nuisance if i try to post anything other than gf which. sucks.

[siro-cyll]

Hey man it's been awhile, where you been? :D

Oh, you know

(severely depressed)

The past year has been rough for me mentally, I haven't managed to muster up the will to draw at all and when I did it felt like I lost my ability. Which sucks considering all the things I've wanted to draw but couldn't, especially for new ocs I've barely been able to scribble out. I've felt completely useless which made it worse.

It wasn't until June when I got nostalgic and revisited Metal Gear Solid and suddenly got the kick to draw again (Thank you, Snake) and with the resurgence of Gravity Falls it inspired me more and made me want to go back to drawing Ford and my insert Tumble in Time stuff (not the comic, just stuff in general).

So I hesitantly say I'm 'back', just riding this burst of energy. I'm trying to kick myself into posting things other than Gravity Falls so I don't just die out of nowhere again. I want to be back, I really do.

It really is great to draw Ford again, though. I missed him, and this resurgence really helped ;v; I'm actually having fun drawing again.

[whistlewhileiblogit]

Warning: LONG POST Being the "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" (with a lot of Arthur Morgan praise)

So on another post (forgot which one welp) I commented saying Arthur Morgan should be the standard for men. I stand by what I said.

And I was thinking, why the hell aren't more men like that? Then it hit me.

Because men see themselves as such already.

So many men put themselves in that role, despite not fitting it at all. They think that they are kind, and loyal and honest...whatever traits you can think of, they believe they are.

And this even includes the ones that jokingly say, "oh I'm an asshole". Because to them that's just it, a joke. They don't really think they're an asshole. Yet one way or another they reveal themselves to be just that.

How many times do men say "you're over reacting"? Or, "you're acting crazy"? And then when you call them out on their bullshit they straight out deny it?

The more I think about my interactions with men- brothers, boyfriends, friends -they all seem to have that in common. They all think they're the "good guy", the "hero" and/or that women are always the problem, or being too dramatic, or to blame, etc.

Allow me to give a few personal examples:

- My first (and only "official") boyfriend of four years constantly lied to me, and was also emotionally manipulative despite that I frequently called him out on it (he once blamed me for his suicide and said I would regret doing nothing to stop it). He also would rile me up over text, then proceed to ignore all my messages/calls. Towards the end of our relationship this worsened to the point where he continually had his friends under the impression I was a "crazy girlfriend". Despite all of this he still saw himself as this martyr, this saviour to me because he frequently tried to buy me off with gifts. He always made sure to mention "all he did for me" in arguments.

- The second ever dude I kinda sorta not really was seeing. I told him straight up from the start I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I was pretty certain I didn't want a relationship yet. He said he fine with it, happy to "see how things go", until one day he got mad at me for not wanting to be introduced to his family and friends as his girlfriend. Proceeded to tell everyone I was "crazy", that I ruined "the best weekend of his life", etc.

- Multiple guy "friends" I've had. Each of these were always just friendships to me. I made that clear. I spoke in a way that showed that. Yet they developed crushes on me. They can't help that, obviously, but then of course each asked me out. And what did I do? Politely reject them. Out of the 5 (I think?) guys over a period of many years, only TWO of them accepted it and dropped it. Oddly enough, those two each got girlfriends a few weeks after. The other three? One of them basically dropped me as a friend completely, another said he wanted to still be friends, which I tried for about four or so years, despite him frequently asking me out over and over again. Each time I said no. He tried to guilt trip me once saying "is it because I'm fat?" which was bs because at the time my well-known crush (who later became my first bf) was fat himself, and actually far heavier than him. Even when my bf and I were dating, he continually pursued me and put my bf down in the process. Not to mention what I think was his attempt at negging me (which obvi didn't work on top of his emotional manipulative behaviour). Eventually enough was enough, and I decided I didn't want to be friends anymore. And the third guy? I had NO idea he liked me, and I never thought of him that way anywho. He and I were becoming really close friends in a time where I didn't have many (I was so nervous making new friends at uni so it was exciting for me). He was really cool at first. Hella funny, and we could dnm about almost everything. Then one day he finally tells me over text that he, and our two other friends (who were dating each other) had formed this plan to try and set us up. I was mildly offended that my friends hadn't even come to me and asked if I was even interested, but let it go. So once again, I told him sorry, I'm not interested. He lowkey sulked that he'd figured he "wasn't my type" because I was always going on about Joel (from TLoU) due to my massive crush on him. He even had the nerve to say that I was "too picky" when it came to dating. After that, he started treating me differently. He wasn't nice anymore. He was actually being intentionally mean. Constantly picking on me in the group chat, etc. When I called him out on it, and told them I wasn't finding the "jokes" funny anymore, what did he do? Tell me I couldn't "take the banter" and that it was my fault because "I'm an easy target". A massive fight ensued and he left the group chat as if to say he'd "won". We haven't spoken since.

I could go on. I could tell soooo many anecdotes of my own, old friends, you name it. Men, on average, seem to all have this air of confidence that they think excludes them from being a decent fucking person.

Men frequently tell me about their "crazy" exes. How women "ruined" them and their lives. How they "just want a normal chick". And in the same moment will turn to me and say shit like, "I'd love a girl like you." or "you're a good chick, you're marriage material."

I'm meant to take it as a compliment. I know that is how I'm supposed to interpret these odd, (kind of) creepy comments.

The worst part is that if I DID date them, and it turned sour, in the end I will undoubtedly be called "crazy" or what have you, most likely. It seems to be a pattern that girls are always the crazy ones.

To swing back to my original point; men always assume they're the good guy.

I know in relationships, particularly in breakups, everyone wants to be the victim, the one who's been wronged. Hell, I am certain I was like that in my teen years.

But the thing is, girls and women are used to taking the blame. We are so often called crazy for the things we say and do that we start to believe it. And we begin to scrutinize our own behaviour. The amount of times my girl friends (and myself included) have admitted, "I could have handled myself better/I was caught up in my emotions/maybe I'm being too hard on him/he's just a guy" etc, compared to guys who have said something like that to me?

I cannot think of one time a guy I know fully admitted his own faults, or apologised without a girl initiating it. Again, because guys think they're the hero in their story.

They think they're all Arthur Morgan's. They think that because they start out gentlemanly and affectionate that that excuses their other shitty behaviours when they come to light.

I legit had a guy friend tell me deadass that he and his girlfriend never called each other just to say things like, "where are you/when are you coming home?" because he considered it an invasion on his privacy.

I mean, what? Checking in on your loved one is a bad thing now?

I'm just gonna say this: if you consider having a girlfriend (or anyone in a committed relationship) any of the following, YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP:

- A "ball and chain"

- Anything that you consider to be "keeping you down"

- A hassle or a nuisance

- An effort (that you don't see as worth the effort)

- Annoying while talking about their interests, hobbies, goals, etc. (basically if talking in general or not talking about things you are specifically interested in is annoying to you)

- You almost never see them already and yet still say "I need space"

- You are dating out of some sort of obligation you feel ("I might as well" "I've gotta get married eventually")

- You are only thinking of ways they can serve you (are they marriage material? Give good head? Obedient? Quiet?)

- You never actually think about them in a selfless way (you don't make an effort to remember birthdays, or things important to them)

- You don't ever make any sacrifice or compromise for them, yet constantly expect them to do it for you

- You think that offering them favours (giving them a lift, taking them to an appointment) will earn you brownie points, instead of doing it because you want to help them out

- You consider it a favour to do something that is at least in part your responsibility ("I'll pay for your birth control this time...")

- You see them as "holding you back" from being with other people sexually, OR you flirt with other people (I had a guy continually flirt with me, telling me how attractive I was because I played video games, all while his gf was in another room)

So all in all, this has been a long, bitter post saying men ain't shit.

And before anyone gets on my ass for it, no, I am not talking about "all men". Anyone who knows me personally knows I really love men...mostly. But sometimes shit has to be said. And in my defense, if you are a man who's first instinct is to say "not all men!!" you're probably part of the problem.

Men, try to be more like Arthur Morgan, or whatever hero of whatever story. Don't assume you already are one. Remember, Arthur didn't start off as a hero, either.

[datingadviceonreddit]

Reading some of the posts on here it seems like a lot of you guys get signals of interest from girls (eye contact, laughter, flirtatious touching etc.) And struggle with then asking for a date or closing the deal. I can safely say though that in my entire teenage life from middle school up to college where I'm stuck now ive never recieved a single ioi from any girl. I personally think I look fine (a little scrawny but not unhealthy) but my opinion of myself doesnt really mean much when I'm invisible to half the population.I've never been in the appropriate situation to ask a girl out before. All my female friends are in ltrs or have multiple other fwbs and like I said no girl ever flirts with me in day to day life (especially if I'm at a party or club and there are other hotter guys there). I have no problem conversing with people, being sociable or making jokes but there must be something wrong or inadequate about me since no guys respect me or want to be friends, and girls just act polite or ignore me.I guess I probably qualify as a nice guy although I don't think I'm entitled to anything from women. I would ask out girl if I thought she wouldnt be receptive because i can imagine how much it must suck to be hit on by a loser guy you have no interest in and I dont want to make anyone's life any worse than it has to be. Maybe I'm too sensitive but it seems like most women get so much attention from people who are much more physically and socially attractive than me that I wouls just be a nuisance and they would be irritated if not offended if I dared to make any kind of move.This has turned into kind of a rant and I'm sorry, I just hate that my life is 1/4 or more over and I haven't experienced any happiness, satisfaction or accomplishment , with women or in general.I'm stuck in school studying a subject I hate because I'm not good enough at music to make a career out of it. I've grown to hate most of my hobbies but I still do them because theyre the only things I'm competent at. Every time I try to play sports or go to the gym I make a fool out of myself and feel like I want to die. I hate exercise and athletics so much but I still try because I know ill never be accepted by men or women otherwise, no girl wants someone who cant fight or play sports.I spend all weekend alone in bed (since none of my friends invite me anywhere and I dont want to have to be that wierd guy that goes and does things alonr or joins new groups without bringing someone along) Maybe ill go to a coffee shop and play on my phone if I'm feeling bold.I've missed so many developmental milestones my confidence is at an all time low. I hate being such a weak virgin loser but I can't seem to put myself through the pain needed to change. I hate my brain and body for not giving me the willpower to stand up for myself, or go to the gym and NGAF. I hate it that I freeze up in fear whenever someone I know is stronger than me walks by me, I hate that I feel like crying every time I talk to a pretty girl or guy who I know has lived a way more fulfilling life than me and has access to so many social opportunities that I would be thrown out or attacked if I tried to join. I hate being timid and inferior and hopeless.I want to make a girl happy and I hate that because of how unnatractive my life is I can't do that. I suck value from any social situation I'm in because I'm inexperienced and desperate so I never want to be around people and bring down their good time. I wish I could just check out of society and just go live on an island for while. I want to be someone else but my brain wants me to stay as no-one. Does anyone have any advice or encouraging words. I feel like such a failure of a man for not being able to just force myself to exercise or ask out girls.People have told me that since I'm 20 I have a lot of time left to change, but its taken a lot of dedication just to reach the mediocre place I am now, I dont know if I possess what I takes to change myself out of being such a loser no matter how much time I have. I know that just getting a gf won't make me 'happy', but I'm sure ill never be happy with my life if I have to go through it all alone.Thanks for listening. via /r/dating_advice