#i just exist to be gay and clown on the internet

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Have you or vinelle ever considered moving to TikTok? I think your metas would be very much appreciated there especially with a larger audience like Twilight Tok where it mainly consists of locals not knowing anything about the saga they claim to be fans of and criticizing Stephenie Meyer for silly things like Twilight being anti-feminist propaganda because Bella cooks and cleans. I've also seen a few blokes with suspiciously butchered similar takes to the ones you and vinelle do on here and I'd hate to your work receiving praise by being credited to others

I'm very flattered but you overestimate how hip I am, dear anon.

Notice the blank wall of text that is my profile, posts and posts adorned with nothing, just text. I barely understand tumblr, TikTok scares and confuses me. I'm not kidding, I actually do not understand half the videos there or what I'm even supposed to understand from them.

I can only imagine my short form videos, where I dress up as a gentleman and a scholar, sit in front of a roaring fire, and say with text on a screen, "Ah yes, dear audience, I believe we left off with our these 'Edward's Totally Gay for his Father' part 1.3. In today's argument, read the fucking book, thank you"

And that's with the idea of putting my face on video. You lot can get my voice on spotify (@rankheresy) but ewwwww to video.

(And while I am flattered, I'll say... I don't know if we'd be popular over there. Remember that @therealvinelle and I live in a clown car and it's one that fandoms aren't always receptive to for a variety of reasons. Depends on the flavor of Twilight Tok which I personally don't know. But then again, I don't understand why I've become even marginally popular here, so who's to say.)

As for the suspiciously similar takes this is... well, I don't like it and if people do do this, please for the love of God give credit, it's free internet nonsense and fame that doesn't actually exist, just give credit, but it's not a TikTok only phenomenon in that I have vague awareness of this going on in Instagram every once in a while and I'm sure other places.

Not enough for me to get on TikTok personally, at least, not for the foreseeable future.

You have any TikTokking plans, @therealvinelle?

[apple-r-r-r]

MIND PREOCCUPATION WITH SEX

(blackpill feminism community on Tumblr, op deleted)

───────────── ⊹⊱✿⊰⊹ ─────────────

Reminder most people cannot function without sex occupying their minds. It's almost like they know that sex quickly downslides into rape and other forms of sexual violence. Everybody wonders where the hypersexualization in modern societies are coming from but it's coming from the unrestricted nature of the primary mode of human sexuality where most of this crap has started with the sexual revolution and then was further accelerated in uniquely horrific ways through the creation of the internet and now AI which can spit out as much big booby child-faced art as much as possible to placate the sex-obsessed male and become a muse for current and future female generations. But honestly what we're seeing is nothing new (Babylon, Weimar, now America falling in this same trend, etc.) and as they say, history repeats itself.

It's no surprise young preteen-teen girls look like they're in their 20s and are being exposed to traumatizing things like teen pregnancy/ DV/rape/porn early because that is the end goal of predominant heterosexuality is to start legalizing and normalizing all taboos and have some kind of degenerate orgy in public until the traditional conservatives come swooping in and make a convincing argument to restrict sexual and social freedom yet again in a nauseating cyclical loop. The harshest and most offensive blackpill I've ever swallowed is knowing that homosexuality needs the predominant hetero model to exist because without hets getting it on and creating even more gay people there would be no such thing as homosexuality and all these identities that've followed. Even in ancient myth this theory is symbolized: through the union of the traditional het unit of the masculine (Ares) and the feminine (Aphrodite) they birthed a child named Eros which the "LGBT+" community lauds as a mythological representation of themselves, because they know hets with all of their sexual experimentation are the gateway that allows their existence. There was absolutely nothing different between hets and "gays" who I honestly don't even think are gay. I think the real gays and gender non-conforming people stay quiet and live relatively normal lives, what we keep calling as LGBTQ+ABCDFGH is just another variation of the already existing model of human sexuality where it always leads to high preoccupation with fantasy, constant experimentation with endless dopamine hits with instant pleasure and curiosity which results in inevitable civilizational decay. A drag queen and a woman with long nails, eyelashes, and the same clown makeup and clownish behavior have about the same utility and purpose as the woman, as Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, so therefore, a man can also be a woman and that's the way it's going to be until we start entering into the typical anticipated phase of conservatism which was bred by this era of unbridled sexual curiosity and technological innovation.

I've seen many spiritualists (which you don't have to believe in spirituality at all) praise the upcoming "Age of Aquarius" which is honestly what we've been experiencing for awhile with social retardation and dependency on tech but what comes after this is the Age of Aries - a very masculine, male-dominated astrological symbol that's associated with warfare, traditions, patriotism/tribalism. Back to square one to fuck everything up all over again because humans don't evolve, just run into lovecraftian horror level time loops. These TIMs who cry about evil cis people need to clap and thank their creators: they literally made you and gave you a birthright to enact rape on as many unwilling females as possible because you wear a dress. Aphrodite wears a dress, you like to get fucked and not be the fucked, and Aphrodite likes to get fucked and not be the fucked, so you are a woman! TIMs whiplash this hurtful and painful truth to every single woman they come across, that you've been living a lie that has nothing to actually do with legitimate female nature, so there is actually no difference between you and that TIM in spirit and essence, only the difference of biological sex characteristics. You refuse to get rid of that 'woman face" along with the clownish acts like empathy, compassion, and charity you accuse TIMs of wearing and performing, because once you get rid of those values and behaviors, TIMs birthright to rape with glittery tutus and eyeliner on nearly shreds to pieces as we see through the stark contrast between the non-clownfish woman and the clownfish man that this is clearly a predatory, parasitic relationship at work.

At this point, I really do agree with the feminists who've said that PIV = rape and also their ideas on "consensual" rape. The boundary between sex and these disgusting fetishes, gender experimentation and bizarre-philias/identities is very murky and it is by natural design. You are literally apart of their humiliating masturbatory fantasy (no consent of course) without them even having to touch a finger on you through the smash of a virtual button and a trending tweet. I cannot count how many times I've seen examples of this where hets make social media posts about their own children and quickly ready to sexualize them in their own heterosexual fantasies and desires without even having to abuse them and then become shocked that their own children are growing up way too fast and here we have the same thing in spirit where a TIM is making a sex fantasy meme about raping lesbians with his dick it's literally just the same shit enacted by "different" people. This shit isn't just physical violence but a war of psychological and social boundary-breaking and manipulation. Rape isn't just physical but I believe that it can happen to the female mind and spirit.

[deathiscoldbatman]

New pinned post 2024. 16. 08.

Since a fuckass clown with a completely empty blog just came into my inbox trying to guilt trip me into attempting suicide again guess what's replacing my old pinned post? [You get no prizes for guessing, unfortunately.]

The basics: [English names] I am Archibald/Wade. Currently in my mid-20's and I didn't ask to be. I am not considered white, am gay, and accepted a long time ago that I will die alone so there is no need to send me yet more hate mail about that.

I am also congenitally disabled in multiple ways.

Having no money means exactly that: that I have no money. I'm not actually sure if I even exist from a legal standpoint and cannot open a bank account or legally manage my own finances besides cash I find on the street, etc.

"how do you use the internet" latching on to unsecured or public Wifi networks mostly, as I cannot physically take out a loan.

I also currently live with my mother after being disowned by my father in mid-2023, and we actively struggle to pay bills each month as one or both of us keeps having to cut our working hours or gets them forcibly halved. Some months I am employed, some months I am not.

My timezone is GMT-8/Pacific Standard Time. I cannot afford to move so I do not see that changing.

Currently a full time university student so I don't usually have more than a few hours a day to use the internet.

If you block my blog[s], just hard block me because I use this website so rarely that I often have no clue when somebody soft blocks me and will probably still attempt to interact with you, assuming everything is normal. I don't obsessively look at my feed or followers list like most people on this website, this blog follows literally 50 people.

All blogs owned by me are considered low-activity because something like 60% of the people I have met historically do not like me very much for a variety of reasons and some of them [hello Del and Violet, I know you're reading this. It's been 7 years] are still around, stalking me.

I don't have a Do Not Interact list or criteria because I do not use social media enough to care.

I have an Archive of Our Own account here if anyone is interested in that for some reason. Common interests: Gail Simone's Secret Six, the John Ostrander run of Suicide Squad, DC Comics in general. But I dabble in other fandoms on occasion when I have the time/energy to write.

If I don't reply to an ask you sent me, I did not receive the ask due to Tumblr's messaging system automatically deleting it. If urgent, please send it again.

[agayvampire]

~♡ pinned post ♡~

Welcome! My name is Moss, I am a non-binary artist who has many original characters, both humanoid and furries, and even some uncategorized creatures :3

Furries are tagged 🌿furries , humanoids are tagged 🌿humanoids and other creatures are tagged 🌿creatures . Art is tagged 🌿art and text fiction posts are tagged 🌿fiction

The following is a list of my OCs with a short description and the tag to find them at in this blog!

List under the cut

Aaron

Tag: 🩸Aaron [He is the one this blog is named after, the gay vampire lol. He is the oldest OC I still create about :0 I created him in like 2013 or so?] [He/him] [cis, gay, aromantic] [in his 30s in human years, probably several hundreds of years old fr] [appearance: tall/lean, muscular, hairy and bearded, long brown hair and a tanned skin tone, many piercings, a tattoo sleeve] [he is a vampire by night and during the day he acts like he is just another gay vegan hipster, next to hipster, his "real" vibe is baroque-esc goth, mostly feminine clothes like dresses en corsets]

Moss

Tag: 🪻Moss [yeah I know they have the same name as me idk man lmao... he is my main fursona, basically me if I was physically a furry] [23] [he/they] [nonbinary transmasc] [neurodivergent] [aro/ace spec] [appearence: average height, soft/curvy in a masc way??, lavender grows from his neon green hair, their main fur color is lilac, they are based off a maned wolf, he has many piercings, his vibe is soft grunge/artist core]

Angie

Tag: 🔪Angie [one time someone called him a "scene queen" and tbh yeah. Also big anarchist] [he/they/it] [20s] [transmasc agender] [neurodivergent] [aroace] [energetic af] [appearence: it is based off a skunk, dark brown and soft white are their main fur colors. His hair is hot pink with a checkered pattern streak. The same pattern is on its tail, he has many piercings, their whole vibe is 2000s emoscene]

Dante

Tag: 🍓Dante [my oldest fursona that still exists! I made them in that era of the Internet where the "soft boi aesthetic" was a thing, so that is his vibe] [early 20s] [he/they] [ftm] [gay] [theatre kid and a big emotional softie] [neurodivergent] [appearence: they are based off an otter, his main fur colors are a soft brown and a soft white, added details are pastel blue and pink (can change), he has pastel blue, teal, purple and pink hair, and from his head grows a strawberry, they have a band aid on their nose and an earring in one ear]

Bobbie

Tag: 🎃Bobbie [it is a shape-shifter, it's shape can alter from humanoid, furry, animalistic, monstrous or anything in between. It has no facial features, except from when it experiences strong emotions, then features show up] [ancient] [it/its] [agender] [neurodivergent] [semi verbal] [appearence: it can have different shapes, but it's color scheme is always the same, dark and light brown, orange, black and glow in the dark yellow/green, when wearing clothes it's vibe is goblincore/nature grunge]

Rain

Tag: 🌈rain [he is based off the colorscheme of the album In Rainbows by Radiohead. He is based off a rat as well] [just a little clown guy, short] [early 20s] [he/him] [transmasc] [gay t4t] [ace] [very energetic when anxious, calm when comfortable] [uses humour to cope] [neurodivergent] [appearence: his colors are all color picked from the Radiohead album In Rainbows. His fur pattern makes it seem like he is wearing clown makeup, he wears a clown hat and a big clown collar, his fur pattern has rainbow colors underneath his top surgery scars]

TV-head (unnamed)

Tag: 📺TV head [He is a spirit/angel who protects forest animals against being hunted by humans, he is a big fluffy guy with a TV for a head because he is both nature and technology in spirit] [ancient yet modern] [he/him] [gender and sexuality are not for him] [big sweetheart, loves hugs, but very good at fighting when needed] [he lives alone, but is always aware of every forest animal in his forest and can sense when they are in pain or fear] [appearence: huge! Big hands/arms, covered in beige fur, on his back grows moss/grass and flowers (may change with the seasons), his head is a TV with glowing red eyes on the screen for a face]

I have more OC's but their concepts are currently unfinished.

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

The image sure does take up a lot of space in your post, given it even in this context is utterly incomprehensible. Anyways, as I am in a mood to clown on you, let's have a lesson on digital culture, because your wildly projecting ass definetly needs one.

If we look back at the last decade of internet history there is no precedent for left-leaning circles going out and "colonize" literally anything. There certainly are left leaning circles, but they mostly stay with each other and don't feel the need to proselytize. You can see it on reddit, where you can forget r/sigmarxism even exists, despite being a sub that's over 40.000 users strong. You barely see tumblr posts reposted to reddit either. It's always the right-wingers who go out making a stink in places they don't belong, and they usually have their heads so far up their own arses that they could not imagine people doing things differently.

Agitation in a tendencially leftist circle commonly leads to internal action. This is the key difference. Spite is a powerful motivator for actual content creators and leads to an increase of fanart, fanfiction, and general engagement within the group. This stuff is also obviously CONTENT, which garners the attention of outsiders. To keep it short: The leftist 40k fan does not give a shit if gay space marines are canon or not, they just draw their OTP holding hands and kissing despite that. They don't care if femboy skitari are silly, they draw them as cute as they can regardless. This is purely internal content production for their audience and if it spills out (maybe due to the art being REALLY good), that's not colonization, that's literally content circulating within a digital space.

Agitation in a right-wing circle meanwhile is a completly different beast. In terms of content, they got no content. What is there to create when the circle runs entirely on ragebait, underlying asshole ideology, rampant strawmanning, and entitlement as a cultural foundation? The attention of the general audience will always go to the ones who actually make stuff, and low effort Wojack-Memes (formerly Rage Comics) and shitty AI-art are definetly not cutting it. No amount of internal action could help their group gain any traction, so agitation in right-wing spaces leads to external action, as there is another way to get attention: spam other places and do it so loudly it hopefully attracts like-minded assholes. Pretend you were the true fans all along instead of a sorry little splinter group. Make "both sides" memes to appeal to the centrist but actually just attempt to legitimize your own faction as a relevant player. Keep making statements of boycott, despite the fact you are literally not even a customer. Dox people! Send death threats to artists! Act like a Karen in the company emails! ANYTHING to drag the general audience down onto the same bullshit foundation that your pathetic circle runs on. It's mostly just prepetuating the cultural traditions of the 4chan corners these ugly circles spawned from, all built on the foundation of raiding and spamming as the only unifying community practice.

Unlike the content-producing leftist circle who is communicating in their own little bubble and occasionally drops out a piece of fanart or fanfiction that garners unexpected reach, the posting-sprees of the right-wingers have an agenda. And as i said before, they have their heads so far up their asses they think they are how everyone does it: thus "the Woke Agenda" (TM) as a concept was born. It's really just projections all the way down.

The truth is, there is no woke agenda. People don't post female custodes stuff and give it several thousand upvotes because they are trying to stick it to someone or want to make political statement (at least not intitally, but fuck you I will like the golden ladies even more now), they just really like female Custodes. People do not subscribe to any sort of wokeness - self-declared "anti-wokes" are just assholes no one wants to associate with. Getting told to fuck off by a bunch of people for posting your cringe is not a sign of you getting "lynched by the woke mob"; it's more akin to you having shat your pants in public and people really want you to leave becaue you REEK. There is no big conspiracy to colonize anything, because people, by default, want to have nothing to do with you.

You still forcing your way in despite expicitly not being welcome and antagonizing the people in the space... I'd say that certaily is "colonist" behavior. I think the term "tourist" is more fitting - it's like a bunch of drunk assholes who trash a place attempting to make it theirs because they think abroad they got no consequences, and then are whiny bitches when the locals tell them to piss off.

And oh are the locals sick of this shit. Digital communities have seen this sort of thing play out several times. The playbook is nothing new, and people are tired of it. Civil discussion has proven pointless, and so people resort to telling you lot to fuck off, and by my opinion that is a very good thing.

There is not a single right-wing community that ever contributed anything aside from stale ingroup-affirming low effort memes and ragebait, and as someone who likes seeing content for the things I like, I'll gladly stick with the supposed "wokes" on that one.

Seeing stuff like that at the top of r/grimdank warms my heart.

[gurggggleburgle]

Hi allow me to give another unhinged headcannon about pidw meta if it existed.

Ahem* if there were any gay✌ 'ships'✌ in the PIDW fandom they would be ugly bastard doujins in a similar vain of those few breath of the wild or SAO doujin ect where Bingge my boy gets topped among many other things (if you know you know) or people would 'ship' (saying ship feels wrong but it's the closest available word i have. the nature of fandoms for things like what PIDW would be irl doesn't really ship in the manner that tumblr users tend to think. It's more like they have abstracted an extra step away from the source material and the characters are exceedingly there to exist as dolls. We do this in our everyday fandom interacts but I notice in these spaces it never really feels like a connection to the character beyond vague surface traits and tends to focus more on physical body types and character archetypes. But with this in mind when it comes to shipping it means nobody is using Luo Binghe as a character just as a surrogate for themselves with the waifu they've chosen that week.) Mobei-Jun because he's the only actual male in the series with any credible screen time and even then it's like one of them gets turned into a girl or drawn overly feminine and girly because the primary straight cis male audience of a book like this isn't ready to ask that question about themselves yet. That or its futa stuff with a preestablished wife but there is a fair chance he's still topping.

Basically what I'm saying is if there are any Shen Qingqui and Bingge things that would exist they'd be like... Dead dove do not eat. Either some shen jiu shouting some phrases that only exist in hentai related to dicky wicky and being objects of sex (again if you know ya know). Or you may get the rarest of all a dark introspection sfw one that likely was written by one of the 2 existing hardcore female fans.

This my long winded way of saying while i enjoy the jokes in fanfic that Shen Yuan has read PIDW fanfic and knows there is BL shippers it would be even funnier for him to complain about the fact that anyone writes Bingge getting topped content at all (there is a favorite he's not admitting it). Or that people ship Mobei-Jun and Bingge. As that's ridiculous and doesn't make sense. They're just BROS bro. God don't make it gay.

Or, and I do think this is the funniest one, nobody is writing deep introspective fanfic or making comics about Bingge's emotional needs and is focused on the sex. Man is mad the mostly cis heterosexual (and probably incel laden) audience is too busy focused on the porn to think of the protagonists emotional needs. Or even just art of this broken man.

All of them losers focused solely on them tiddies while Shen Yuan is over here asking the real questions. The fanbase is busy making content meant to cater to their specific wants and fetishes with one guy in particular who just shows up all the time asking for such a niche thing. Enough that it's almost a meme. And they are all clowning on the guy who's claiming to hate the novel and asks them to take the book seriously.

also there is no way he would not review all of the fan content he stumbled on in great anti fashion. And getting a positive-ish comment from cucumber is actually considered by fandom a mark of shame. I just don't think the internet could resist clowning on this man further by not treating a cucumber approved work as a meme joke of shame.

[hussyknee]

I just want to enjoy Harry Styles being the internet's idiot of the week without having to deal with monumentally shittier queers bashing closeted and unlabelled people. Does he have Cis Het Playing Gay For Clout vibes? Obviously. But he might also be browsing gay sex videos on the DL and forgot gay movies exist or something. And his behaviour isn't too far removed from your garden variety white queer dude. Y'all are exactly this kind of clown. 💕

[heavenlybubbles]

Oh man you ARE a delusional "she/her" like I thought. I wrote a whole nice thing about how you're a clownish fool who wasnt born when I was taping tos from reruns to watch later, but the bashir blog blocked me like the little clown they are.

Ds9 is about friendship and sacrifice, and notnfor nothing not being a pussy about doing undavory things to not die, not some retarded ideas about religion. The wormhole aliens lied to and used the bajorans for their own purposes, and are rightly called out many times for being selfish assholes. One species in this cases delusions dont speak for everyone.

I don't think you grasped the message of TNG about not being a selfish rube. Or that of TOS about sticking to a moral code. Or Enterprise about challenging your preconceived viewpoints. Or Voyager about expanding your horizons and changing the way you think about humanity in a logical way. Go back and re watch and let us know when you stop being a fairytale enthusiast!

BruUUUUuuuuuh. This is the first ask I have received in like ten years. I'm so jazzed.

There is so much to unpack here holy shit. What's absolutely sending me is the Snidely Wiplash mustache twirling like "Oh BOY its one of the PrOnoUN pEOpLe, I know exactly how to OWN them." Hello, my guy you are on the queer site. We fucking live here. I think you took the wrong turn on the way to the TradWives community?

I'm a Tumblr Elder^TM but thank you for thinking I'm a lil baby fetus. I know its hard to understand but there are old gays that exist on the internet. Hi, OLD.

I don't have much to rebuttable the themes listed for each of the Star Trek series because literally all of them are like the worst of hot takes while including the minimum requirement of all worst hot takes; at least one slur. Fucking yikes to that. My only comment is that while you are seeing Star Trek through the tiny porthole that your narrow worldview allows, the rest of us that are kind human beings with open minds get to see the whole picture. Over here we have canonically trans Jadzia, Ben Sisko: Jesus 2.0, and like margaritas in the holodeck. You can have your little porthole and be the king of your sad little boat.

Listen, no one owes you a damn thing. Not a response, not even a passing glance. This is the void, dude, and you're just yelling out all the thoughts you should have worked out in therapy already. You have a big fucking problem with religions so does literally everyone else on here (except like some of the TradWives we don't talk about them.) We're the queer little hellsite, remember?? Literally calling the kettle black in a room full of people with black kettles. Like what the fuck are you doing, man? Stop it, get some help.

Also:

why are you following me then

Pardon???????

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Cheryl//this is me trying

Request: Can I request a season 1 cheryl x reader. Cheryl always protects reader from people and r is shy but falls in love with the redhead and some who’s accidentally tells her while she’s having a bad day but cheryl is quick to reassure her then they cuddle after going to pops or something and it’s just fluffy.

hey! happy valentines day gays! and get you, two imagines in one day, it must be the day of love. i hope you all like this because it’s really fluffy and i enjoyed writing this a lot!

Overnight, Riverdale became a shell of its former self. Two months since Kevin Keller and Moose Mason stumbled upon the body of Jason Blossom, and nobody has been the same since. 

The town is riddled with secrets, they’re slowly destroying it like a disease. Nobody trusts anybody anymore, everyone is on high alert, and everyone is a suspect. 

Cheryl usually loves being the centre of attention, she has done ever she was a kid. It’s something that comes naturally with being a twin, you share everything and as much as she loves loved the shared birthdays and friends, she has always loved being the centre of attention.

Now however, she hates it. Her life is a true crime documentary at the minute, and all she wants is for the killer to be caught so the crew can pack up and leave and she no longer has to stare down at the blinding lights being cast over her and her family. 

The only thing that’s kept her sane over the past two months, is you. Despite everything happening, despite the murder and the secrets and the suspicion, you’ve stuck by her side. You were with her when they found the body, and you haven’t really left since. 

The two of you are unlikely friends, she’s Cheryl. Bright and bold and never one to back down from confrontation. But you’re Y/n, sweet and shy and always the first to shrink away from any sort of attention directed at you. 

She knows you hate the constant attention recently, it’s something you get used when you’re best friends with the victim’s sister, but not once have you complained. 

You’ve being questioned by police, journalists and strangers on the internet. You’ve had camera’s shoved in your face on your walk back from school and been asked countless questions about what you know about the Blossom’s. And you’ve also been offered ridiculous amounts of money in order to talk. But no matter what happens, you always just rush past them and join Cheryl, who’s always waiting for you with a sad smile and warm hand. 

Due to the constant hoard of vultures swarming Riverdale High, the two of you had to figure out somewhere else to meet after school so you could walk the long way home. It adds twenty minutes to your walk, but it’s not that well known around town, meaning people can’t bother you. 

Plus, the extra twenty minutes that you get to spend with Cheryl isn’t the worst thing. It’s the opposite in fact. It’s the thing you look forward to, even if you are looking over your shoulder every so often 

But today you’re not at your meeting spot. 

When Cheryl pushes her way through the stares of her fellow students with you and only you on her mind and makes her way through the school basement, back up the stairs and out of the fire exit, you’re not waiting for her with a smile that makes her feel warm and a cold slice of pizza you snuck out of the cafe earlier. 

The only thing waiting for her is a full bin and an empty field. 

“Y/n?” She calls out and looks around the corner. She’s met with three seniors, all of which are smoking with absolutely no care for being caught. 

“She’s not here.” One of them says, her blonde hair and large glasses cover half of her face and Cheryl forces a smile. 

“Hey, Blossom.” A boy says and Cheryl freezes. Who knows what they want, but whatever it is, it probably won’t be nice. It’ll probably be something along the lines of ‘hey, did you kill your brother’ and no matter how many times she’s asked that, it doesn’t get any easier. “Maybe try the bleachers.” He says, ending his sentence with a sympathetic smile and Cheryl nods slowly, not really sure what to say. 

“Thanks.” She forces and spins on her heel. 

“We’re sorry about your brother, Cheryl.” The blonde one says and she turns around again. Each of them look sad, with matching frowns and sorrow swimming in their eyes. 

Jason meant the world to Cheryl, but he also meant a hell of a lot to other people too. And that’s when it hits her. Of course you’re at the bleachers. 

For some bizarre reason, only known by your father. You and your family used to come along every other week to watch the Bulldogs play. For a while you thought it was because your dad was trying to get you and your brother into football and this was a lot cheaper than the actual game, but the older you got the more you figured it was because he was just trying to relive his youth. For 90 minutes he could pretend that he was quarterback again and for those 90 minutes your dad would be the happiest he’d been all week. 

Then one week, a redhead sat beside you. In clothes that were far too expensive to be worn to a high school football game. Her parents looked like they wanted to be there as much as she did, but then a boy with matching red hair ran out on to the pitch and you’d never seen a smile quite like it. 

After that, you made sure to sit beside her at every game. And then one day she sat opposite you at lunch. The first few times she was alone, but then soon she began to appear with a group of other girls, but you were the only one she’d talk to. 

Eventually lunch times and football games turned into group projects and sleepovers. You spend hours braiding her hair and listening to her tell you stories of other worlds and the creatures that live in them. You’d sneak down the dark and creepy halls of Thornhill in hopes of finding a midnight snack, and instead be met by Jason and your older brother in clown masks. 

Eventually, you found a different way to get to the kitchen, one that Jason didn’t know about. And when he’d come looking for you, both of you would jump out  and chase him around the house, much to the dismay of Penelope and Clifford. 

Those bleachers are what started a whole friendship, not only between you and her, but also you and Jason. When you’re brother eventually made the team, thanks to a good word put in my Jason, despite him being a year younger. Him and Jason became as inseparable as you and Cheryl and so it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to see the four of you hanging out. It also meant that if Cheryl was busy, you and Jason would hang out until she finished whatever she was doing. 

Grief is a hell of a lonely thing, and sometimes Cheryl forgets that other people miss Jason too. With everything going on, she didn’t even think about how you were doing. With all the questions, accusations and crying that constantly fills Cheryl’s house. She never even asked how you were. 

And now her legs can’t carry her quick enough to were she hopes your sat. Because she’s already lost her brother, she can’t lose you too. She wobbles as her heels dig into the dirt, kicking up dust and mud as she runs across the field. Her hair swings behind her, and she can feel the red scrunchie loosen the quicker she runs. 

The bleachers have all sorts carved into them. Initials in hearts, some of them still there, some of them crossed out so aggressively that it’s a miracle they didn’t chop it in half. There’s inside jokes and ridiculous rumours. Codes and dates and everything in between. 

But something new has been added in the past few days. 

cheryl murdered jason

and y/n helped

The writing is small and barely legible, but it’s there and the more you run your fingers over it the more it carves itself into your heart. 

“Y/n?” Cheryl pants breathlessly and you quickly pull yourself away from it. Instead you stand up properly and pull the sleeves of your sweater down over your hands. The y/f/c scrunchie remains still in your hair and Cheryl has to stare at it for a few seconds to calm herself down. “You weren’t at our spot.” She says quietly and you close your eyes. 

You let her down. You let her down. You always let her down.  

“Sorry Cheryl.” You sigh and sit down in the dirt. Cheryl looks around before sitting beside you. “I just wanted some space.” You add and force yourself to look at her. 

The sun sits behind her, but even that doesn’t seem as bright as it used to be. Nothing is what it used to be. For the past two months, you’ve been told that thats a good thing. But what’s good about someone you loved being dead. What’s good about watching someone else you love go through life but not really live. 

Cheryl just exists. 

But she exists for you. 

Because as lost as she would be without you, she knows you would be just as lost without her. 

It’s an unspoken rule now, you always text each other when you wake up and before you go to sleep. It’s something you used to do anyway, but now you make a point not to forget. Because forgetting means that the worst could have happened, and that’s something neither of you can bare to deal with. 

“I get it.” She nods. “I was just worried that’s all.” She adds, trying to sound as casual as she can. But on the inside she’s screaming. Because she thought you had died, she thought whoever had killed Jason had gotten to you too, and the whole reason you’re both dead is because she wronged the wrong person. 

There’s a lot of people that don’t like Cheryl, being unliked comes naturally to her. But she doesn’t know how she’ll cope if she’s so unlikeable someone she loves died. 

She has no idea why your friends with her to be honest. She saw you staring at her at a football game once. But it wasn’t a stare she was used to. It wasn’t cold like her mothers or jealous like her friends. No, this was nice. You were staring at her like you wanted to know about her, like when you looked at her, you saw a friend not someone to be feared. 

And so Cheryl clung onto the tiny hint of friendship, the crack of a door into something that could happen, and she shoved herself through it. It worked, and now you’re the only person she’s nice to. She’s mean to everyone else, she calls them names and teases them, especially when they’re rude to you...but you stay. And she has no idea why, but she’s not going to wish it away. 

“Shit, sorry Cheryl.” You drop your head into your hands and Cheryl looks at you confused. She looks around, not really sure of what to do. “I didn’t think, God knows what you thought had happened.” You ramble and she realizes you’re crying. Her eyes widen and you look at her, your eyes red and puffed and your lips pulls into frown. 

“It’s okay.” She replies and wraps her arms around you. You bury your head into her neck, the smell of maple and cherries invade your senses and you let out a shaky breath. 

It smells like home and happier times, and you want to crawl into those happy memories and never come back out. “I was just being ridiculous.” She tries to play it off, to make it seem like she couldn’t feel her heartbeat in her throat and the ringing in her ears. Pretend like it didn’t feel like someone had pulled her heart out and stamped on it. 

“No, no you weren’t. I’m really sorry.” You sob and wrap your arms around her. She falls into your neck, surprised but not upset with how tight you’re holding her. She never wants you to let go. But of course she has to, and so however reluctant, she untangles herself from you and lets out a deep sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” You sniffle. She hands you a tissue and you wipe your eyes with it before scrunching it up in your hand. “I’ve just had a rubbish day. Somebody shoved this in my locker.” You frown and pull a balled up piece of paper out of your pocket. 

Cheryl’s eyebrows knit in confusion as she takes it from you, her fingers graze yours and you freeze for a few seconds. 

who do you think did it? 

cheryl __

y/n __

Jamie __

“Why is your brother on here?” Cheryl asks, her voice rising with each word and you rest your hand on top of hers to calm her down. 

“I dunno.” You shrug. “Your parents are on there too.” You add and point further down the page. 

“What a bunch of dicks.” She grumbles and crumples it up. “Do you know who it was?” You shrug and she sighs. 

“I’ve just gotten tired of the staring and the whispers. So I thought I’d just have five minutes peace before going home and having to listen to Jamie cry in his room but pretend he’s okay. Or for my parents to walk on eggshells around both of us. Neither of them know what to say, and because of that they keep saying the wrong thing.” You ramble and she listens intently, trying her best to find a resolution to all of your problems. 

Unfortunately, she doesn’t know the answer to everything, no matter what her mom says. 

“I just thought five minutes by myself can’t be terrible. But then I came down here and someone carve-well it doesn’t matter what they wrote. What matters is that I made you worry at the worst possible time in your life. I hurt you, and I’m really sorry. Believe me, hurting you is the last thing I want to do you. I feel sick even just thinking about it. I never, ever want to hurt you. I love you too much. I love you more that I’ve ever loved anything or anyone ever. I just love yo-” Your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve just admitted to. 

You don’t want to look at her, but she hasn’t said anything in a while and that’s strange for her. So you force yourself to look at her, expecting the worst. Expecting disgust, disappointment, betrayal. But it’s none of those. 

Instead she’s smiling. And she looks actually happy. Something you haven’t seen in so long, something you’re glad to see, despite the circumstances. 

Oh yeah, you’ve just told her you’re in love with her. What do you say after that? 

“I-er-”

“Y/n?” She cuts you off before you get the chance to ruin the moment. She’s known you for long enough to know that when you get nervous, you ramble and when you ramble you say weird things. 

You’re grateful for her cutting you off, usually if she talks over you, it annoys the hell out of you. But this time it’s welcomed and she stifles a small laugh and the sigh of relief you let out. 

But the next thing she says is something that you weren’t expecting, but you’re sure as hell grateful for. 

“Would you like to go on a date?” 

---

The red lights from outside, illuminate Cheryl’s pale face in the night, painting her in a reddish hue and you find yourself staring at her for far longer than would be considered normal. 

Lucky for you, she hasn’t noticed. She doesn’t seem to be paying attention to anything, not really anyway. Instead she stares down at her food, pushing a few fries around the plate and anxiety rises in your chest. 

She’s already regretting doing this. She’s made a mistake and now she doesn’t know how to let you down gently. 

She seems to sense you nerves because she’s looking at you quickly, a sad smile twitching at her lips.

“Sorry, I just. Jason always used to tease me about the two of us. It’s the only thing we’d take about sometimes. He’d constantly ask me if I’d asked you out yet. And every time I would say ‘no, we’re just friends’ but, well neither of us really believed that.” She says, a small laugh escapes her lips near the end, but she quickly shuts it off. It’s too soon for her to be laughing, too soon for her to be happy. 

“Yeah.” You nod and finish your drink. “He used to tease me too. ‘if you don’t tell her, I’ll do it myself’.” You mimic his voice and a ghost of a smile twitches at her lips as she forces herself to look at you. “I am really glad you did ask me though.” Your voice shakes a little with nerves and Cheryl stares at you confused. “I do really like you Cheryl.” 

“I really like you too.” She smiles softly and you stare at her lips. Sometimes you think the red lipstick has permanently stained her lips cherry red. Even when you guys are a sleepover, she still has bright red lips and the other part of you wonders if that’s just what they look like. 

“Hey.” You start and a sly smile twitches at your lips as you remember an old memory. She leans forward, excited to know what you’re smiling about. 

It could literally be anything, from a musty old book she let you borrow from the Thornhill archive, to a new tv show you started to watch. But whatever it is, she’s excited to hear you talk about it. 

“Can you remember last year. It was Jamie’s 16th birthday and you and Jason were invited over. Jason was there because him and Jamie were planning on sneaking out later that night, and you tagged along so you could keep me company.” You start and she smiles at the memory. 

The four of you sat in the living room, while your mom brought cake and your dad sang ‘happy birthday’. Cheryl remembers how happy she was, and she remembers talking to Jason afterwards, the two of them whispering and wondering if that was what a normal family was supposed to look like. 

You, Cheryl and Jason had each pitched in for the record player he wanted. And even though you all knew that just Cheryl alone could have been able to buy him it if she really wanted, you knew they split it for you. 

Jamie was ecstatic when he opened the box, and then all of the records you’d bought to go with it. He’d played it every single day since getting it, but now you haven’t heard it in months.

“Yeah.” She nods, a sad smiling taking over he face. “Can you remember when Jason pushed his face into the cake.” She adds making you snort a laugh. 

The bell above Pop’s rings and Betty and Archie walk in. They send you a sympathetic smile before sitting at their own booth, and you and Cheryl share a look. 

“Would you like another one?” You point at her milkshake and she nods, smiling shyly. 

---

The walk home is over far too soon, and it’s only when you’re standing on your porch do you realize you took the normal way home by accident. Either the media has gone to sleep, or people are starting to forget about Jason and Riverdale. 

That thought makes you frown and Cheryl watches your expression falter before you look back at her again. 

“Thank you for walking me home.” You smile shyly and a nervous laugh escapes her lips. 

“It’s no problem.” She shrugs and the two of you stare at each other for a few seconds longer than normal. She’s about to leave when you grab her hand and spin her around to face you. 

She’s surprised for a second, until suddenly she feels a pair of lips on hers, and then the only thing she can feel is them. Everything else disappears, and though the kiss is short and a little awkward, it’s still perfect. 

“Would you like to come in?” You ask and motion your head to large wooden door. The pain is chipped around the metal numbers, something your mom has nagged your dad about for the past 6 months. “We still have the rest of y/f/s to watch.” 

“I’d love to.” She nods and the two of you grin at each other. “But seriously, how many times have you seen that now?” 

“It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it.” You unlock the front door, giving it a quick kick before you stumble through it. “What matters is that this is the first time you’re seeing it.” You add and she rolls her eyes but follows you up the stairs anyway. 

The sun sets over another day in Riverdale and darkness floods the town. The streets are cold and scary, but wrapped in your duvet and Cheryl’s arms, you’ve never felt warmer. 

[whatiwillsay]

what gaylor relationship/fling do you think is most likely to have happened? i recently read the tily timeline and i feel like it's pretty likely that something happened between them, also obviously swiftgron makes sense to me seeing as both taylor and dianna come off as very fruity (although some theories do seem like a reach) and then i don't believe in kaylor anymore because karlie pings very straight to me and it was definitely just some fling if it did ever happen.

idk sometimes i just question everything and am like is taylor really gay or is she just a straight ally who has kinda overstepped a lot and is very affectionate with her friends?? (although obviously only taylor knows her sexuality and we're all just clowns on the internet speculating)

so for me there’s a few things i consider when thinking about a gaylor ship- obvious fruitiness of the other woman, weird public moments together, apparent references in taylor’s music, an obvious fake boy being tied to said references, and bts information i’ve heard from people i know that work in hollywood that lines up with reality and there’s one ship that hits just about all these markers for me…

houghlor! (my name for julianne hough and taylor)

1. obvious fruitiness- jh is literally out as queer

2. weird public moments together- they went to katy perry’s party together and painted their initials on one another + jh had blue handprints on her boobs and ass and taylor bad blue paint on her hands + they were seen hanging out plenty other than that, tweeting one another about hanging out, just general young light gf/fwb behavior

3. apparent references in taylor’s music- this one is the lightest mark for this ship. there isn’t a ton to go on (because i don’t think it was all that serious) buttttt.. they were last spotted together in december of 2009 and back to december seems to be about a breakup that wasn’t too serious but taylor mildly regrets that happened in december.

4. taylor lautner was taylor’s boyfriend at the time and not only have i heard from just about every person who pays attention to taylor in hollywood that that was fake- it also READS as fake with the obvious goal of promoting their movie together. she ties btd to him and he even claimed on the spot in an interview that it was about him.

5. hollywood gossip suggests that houghlor was real. in the “houghlor tea party” episode of my patreon podcast i go into more detail of this but it does seem like yeah there’s some fun gossip and rumor surrounding houghlor coming from a place i vetted and trust (though it could be faulty information, as all gossip could be incorrect)

swiftgron hits a lot of boxes but there’s no good gossip on it that i’ve found yet (as in talked to an individual that i’ve vetted and verified myself that had good swiftgron gossip ofc unverified gossip exists in droves)

tily as well hits most of these boxes but joe imo is a real boyfriend that interferes with it (ofc my solution is she was seeing both of them for a while)

even kaylor hits a lot of these boxes but ofc karlie seems so straight and joshlie seems so very real and now with a baby to show for themselves. and ofc i got a lot of “tayvin was real” tea as well which also interferes.

but for me houghlor is the most likely gaylor ship! i think it was a casual thing that didn’t go on for too long but imo definitely checks out as perhaps the most likely ship (although we can’t know for sure!)

[forthegothicheroine]

Opinions on Into the Dark Movies

I’ve seen a lot, though not all, of the Blumhouse series of Into the Dark, direct to Hulu horror movies themed around various holidays.  Some of them suck.  Some of them are surprisingly good!  Most are mediocre.  Still, I keep watching.  Rather than try to rank these movies, I’m just going to give a few of them awards.

Favorite Movie: Pooka Lives

If you were there for the height of Slenderman blogging, this will hit you hard!  The first Pooka movie was a psychological thriller and definitely interesting, but the horror-comedy sequel was the thing that touched my heart.  It’s all about how the internet creates memes that completely change from where they start by the whims of each new viral art piece.  While watching it, I said “according to Twin Peaks, this would be a a tulpa” at one point, and then Felicia Day said “I’ve got it, it’s a tulpa!”  She heard me!  Rachel Bloom kills Whil Weaton in the opening!  All you really need to know going in is that Pooka is a stuffed animal bear-rabbit-monster who repeats words in a “naughty” or “nice” voice.

Most Effective Horror Movie: I’m Just Fucking With You

Somebody on the Bloody Disgusting website said the stuff in this movie is worse torture than Saw or Hostel- but the kicker is, the torment is mostly mental and emotional.  An unlikeable internet troll checks into a sleazy motel, only to discover that the guy in charge of the place is a nastier troll than he’ll ever be.  This bespectacled, southern-accented slacker just keeps pulling pranks, each one more mean-spirited than the last, until they escalate to murder and the total destruction of our hero’s remaining humanity.  The constant neon-lit look of the motel is super intense, but the most important thing about this is that it shows you how really fucking annoying the Joker would be if you actually met him.

Sexiest Villain: Pilgrim

Look, I dunno.  Brother Ethan is just the sexiest evil Puritan you’ll ever find, as small as that pool may be.  He’s totally invested in what he’s doing, he fully believes in the lessons he’s teaching, he’s maybe a ghost or a trickster spirit or something, he has a great accent, he has a great laugh, and he has great piercing eyes.  Also he has this ongoing dynamic with the final girl that’s maybe sexually charged or maybe isn’t, but the whole thing is definitely a battle of wills and beliefs between them and that is hot.  Honorable mention goes to the hitman in The Body, but he only looked hot, he didn’t actually act hot, and there’s a difference.

Most Believeable Villain: New Year New You

Maybe the murders aren’t all believeable, but “Get Well” Danielle is!  Once a loathesome high school bully, she has now found fame and fortune as a loathesome social media influencer, and a culture that supports vapid self-promotion is one she thrives in.  Are the others in the movie any better, though?  They hate her, but isn’t it partly because they want to be her?  Don’t we all kind of want what she has, even while disdaining every part of her that got her where she is?

Movie I Could Have Written Better: Uncanny Annie

This movie about an evil board game sucked, but it didn’t have to!  There’s so much a horror comedy could parody about the modern board game scene.  It could have been an incredibly complex game with mutliple expansions where you’re two hours in and still haven’t gotten to using all the mechanics.  It could have been a super artsy Euro game with stunning evil art but instructions that are very poorly translated into English.  I work for a book and game store!  Give me a chance, I could script a greatdark parody of the the Arkham Horror franchise!

Movie That Might Have Been Scarier Without the Supernatural: Pure

I actually really respect the whole setup of this movie.  The notion of a “purity camp” father-daughter celebration is stunning and sickening, the fathers are holding their daughters to impossible standards and threatening to remove their love if they ever fair, the girls can’t trust that anyone they meet won’t reveal their secrets to the Reverend, and the camp itself looks like if that Midsommar farm was just No Fun Allowed.  Anyway, I don’t think they needed a weird rewriting of Lilith.  It’s a psychological cult horror, so let it stay that.  The girls can kill their dads at the end without any supernatural power.

Best Cheese: School Spirit

As soon as I saw the trailer and realized this was a Breakfast Club pastiche, I was in, baby.  You’ve got the prep, the class clown, the stoner, the nerd, and the delinquent all in for detention.  They resist the mean disciplinary teacher, they bond, they share secrets, they get high, they see beyond their cliques, and a masked slasher murders them one by one.  The villain reveal is ridiculous but kind of charming, a fun riff on the Norman Bates archetype, and the final girl’s speech to the killer at the end should be on all those “Good for her!” female character gif compilations.

Best Villain Outfit: Midnight Kiss

I love that giallo-killer-meets-gimp-suit look!  So creepy, yet so believeable for a club scene!  (Or at least, it would fit in with my memories of Folsom Street Fair.)  The movie itself isn’t super interesting as murder mysteries go, but it’s not bad, the whole thing is super stylish, and it is neat that almost the whole cast of characters, from heroes to villains, are gay.  But yeah, great costume, great party scenes, great beach house, shame about all the murders.

Movie I Wish I Hadn’t Sought Out Spoilers For: Culture Shock

I was trying to decide if I should see these movies and looked at lists of which ones were the best and then I looked into this one and...I spoiled the entire reveal.  It’s a great reveal!  I’ll try to avoid spoilering it here, but in this Spanish and English language movie, our heroine goes from dodging cartel men while trying to cross the border to existing in a beautiful, multicultural suburban town...where they dress like it’s the Tranquility Lane part of Fallout 3, and nobody will let her hold her infant son.  One of the more serious attempts at making a good movie, and I think it succeeds.

Movie That Does a Plotline Better Than Hannibal Did: Flesh & Blood

This movie, while following a pretty typical “Lifetime Movie” style plot (she says, never having seen a Lifetime movie), it understands one important thing: a story about a girl struggling to escape the influence of a pseudo-incestuous serial killer father figure is her goddamn story.  This will have to be my Abigail Hobbes fix fic.

Worst Movie: Tree House

Man, of all the horror movie characters not to get killed...

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[deerth]

recently i stumbled upon the “pico but he’s very offensive” fnf mod vid (it was funny btw) and the comment section is full of guys like on the left

i swear to fuck this is like the “mars vs venus” discourse all over again. on one side we have got edgy mostly male chucklefucks who think Newgrounds belongs to them (surprise surprise: I was on NG back in the day and most assuredly, I was not consuming whatever the hell these guys are on about) and on the other side we have queers from all over twitter, tiktok and tumblr just ykno, having fun with a funny cool game. yes some of that content can be called cringe (still entertaining af tho) but being offended over a fictional mascot character possibly being gay? clown on clown violence

and yes i played thru the original pico’s school. was it inappropriate? yes. was it funny? also yes. this game was made in a time where awareness of racial stereotypes was very low at best, but somehow, it also doesn’t exactly make light of the school shooting event, to me it’s rather a commentary on how a kid manages to retaliate against his school shooters, which is a very unlikely scenario irl? sure, it has oodles of dark toilet humour, but I never saw someone say a slur or be outright sexist? so what crack are these leftmost nerds on? even in the april fool’s update fulp had fun playing around with the idea of his little fictional son being gay for the bf in fnf, but bc it was released on april fool’s, these poor fragile dudes feel the need to not even acknowledge its existence

additionally, I seriously don’t understand why there always needs to be opposing sides in a fandom. a character can both be a gun-toting fearless badass AND at the same time be gay and wear a maid dress with cat ears on the top. WHY NOT BOTH?? this dude’s crazy enough to do both things. why do cishet men always feel so threatened by potentially getting their masculine power fantasy ruined hjgsdjghsdhjrhjsdrhjsr, you truly are the weakest link of society. but the other extreme is calling pico’s school “problematic” like my dear, neither tunglr nor twitter existed at that time and ppl did whatever the fuck they knew in their relatively limited worldview before the internet became more expansive and woke, it was 15 years ago, most of y’all (including me) were kids back then hsdghshjsjhjhrshj, a lot can change in over a decade

it really shows how internet culture has changed since then, but tbf, i like the new culture a little more than the old one - just not the extreme side

[folderalconspiracy]

Stop hurting people

First, I want people who are talking about Destiel with no knowledge to think about something. And that's who I'm talking to here:

I know there are some Destiel shippers who aren't happy, although I think you're mostly unhappy because you think this is the end...but I think you're wrong, and sorta you're being duped into that by the people I've addressing, who have decided to become giddy about queerbaiting or something. If you are Destiel shipper, or even a current viewer of the show, I'll know everything I'm about to say, and you might want to skip to my conclusion.

And let me be clear: I’m not a Destiel shipper, in the sense I really care about the relationship. In fact, I'm not really a 'fan' of the show exactly...I watch it, but often a season or two late. I just have caught up to 'see the show out', if you will...I watched it from the beginning, and I will see it end. And it's not like anything else is on. So I'm saying these things as a general, moderately engaged viewer of the show, not a shipper or fan.

If you are not a viewer, here's a ton of background about Cas 'dying':

You do not understand how this show works. Stuff is happening at the cosmic level, and almost all the players can immediately bring anyone else back to life.

And not only is death a revolving door, Cas didn't 'die' anyway. Jack went to The Empty, the same place as Cas, _literally earlier this episode_. And was sent immediately back out. The Empty is not hell...and also hell isn't hard to get out of, the main characters have wandered into hell (the actual hell) three times this season, once to borrow a cup of sugar.

Besides the Empty, Death can bring anyone back, and, she just died (We think?), meaning there's a new Death out there...although we don't know how that relates to everyone vanishing.

God probably _can't_ pull people out of the Empty it...or, least, we don't think he can. We're not sure. He's been upgraded a bit now that he has merged back with his sister. (No, I'm not explaining this show to you.)

Speaking of that: The end of this eposide had God erased all people from existence except the main characters. Probably cleared out Heaven and Hell too. The dead aren't going to stay dead, or this the most downer ending that has ever existed.

I mean, I get you don't watch the show, but you didn't even watch the _episode_!

As for the relationship:

These two characters have been in love with each other for quite some time. This isn’t me being a ‘shipper’, which would be something like promoting it or wanting the ship...I don’t really care. I am aware this relationship exists because it is clearly, textually, there. By both characters.

Dean has had worse reactions to losing Cas than losing his brother. (And had one at the end of this episode, although I don't know if the ten second clip you all apparently watched showed it.)

So, every single person who thinks Dean doesn’t love Cas is...hilarious wrong. It is maybe possible to argue it isn’t romantic on Dean's part, and it’s even more possible to argue that Dean can’t let himself go there, either out of some level of self-loathing homophobia and toxic masculinity, or the actual answer: He can’t let himself be in a relationship with anyone, because he knows it will end horribly, which is, of course, a thing I know because I watch the show. (And Cas literally said that thing in the very scene.)

Meanwhile Cas has said, a few times, how much he loved Dean, although he has tended to immediately backtrack in the way he did in this speech...saying he loved Dean, and then saying he loved everyone...but in this speech, he went back to talking about Dean. Making it very clear.

Other things I know, that you don't:

The phase ‘I want things I can’t have’ is a meaningful phrase as it has been used by Dean, about himself, talking about love, in regard to flirting with an imaginary women.

Dean recently has had a lot of realizations about himself, and some closure on his relationship with his father.

Only two episodes ago, God explain that this universe went sideways due to Castiel. In other universes, the apocalypse story (waaay back in season 5) played out as intended, but in this one, it didn't. Castiel used his free will, and the entire story, and universe derailed. And here, this episode, we get Cas confessing about how he learned to love due to Dean.

Thus, Castiel love for Dean saved the universe. Not metaphorically, or a shipper reading that in. That is a textual fact within universe of the show Supernatural: According to God, Castiel's free will derailed the End Times, and according to Castiel, his love for Dean is the reason that happened.

You guys basically just watched She-Ra and turned it off when Adora apparently died and ran online to start yammering about the show is homophobic for doing 'bury your gays'. Good job, everyone!

And I almost leave this out because I don't even want to have to say it: While it is a bit shitty for you, who don't know the character at all, to attack an actor portraying emotional responses in a normal way for a character, whatever. But it's incredibly offensive to imply this was due to the _actor_ being homophobic. You can attack the acting, because you...don't know anything and...came in with some weird assumptions based on whatever the clip said. But don't attack the _actor_. At worse, he's a bad actor. (He isn't.)

--------------------

And that brings me to my conclusion. It's technically a hypothetical:

When Cas comes back, either to be part of the next two episodes, or just to say goodbye, and when Dean manages either to stammer out his love confession or...not do that but somehow manage to indicate it's really there but he's not able to deal with it...

...how do you think all your clowning is going to look?

And how do you feel about shitting over all of this, when you don't know how it's going to end, and you don't even really know what's going on?

I'm part of the Supercorp fandom, and we, right now, have been talking about how we _might_ be seeing the buildup to the slowest, most epic slowburn on TV.

What if Supernatural beat us, what if they've been playing the long game for...not this entire time, but like five years or so? And create the slowburn to end all slowburns.

And _this_ is how the internet responded right at the end, by memes about being sent to super-hell for being gay, because we couldn't keep our fucking memes in our pants for two goddamn weeks?

So maybe all you clowns just...stop? Wait it out.

Because it's possible that the greatest Supernatural quote of all, which predates Castiel and certainly was intended as a joke at the time: And here we were thinking that, you know, we were teaching you and all this time you were teaching us, about heart, about dedication, and about how gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day.

...ends up being how the show ends?

[colorisbyshe]

wrt queercoding&actual gay rep: I get what you mean, but honestly, that’s doing a huge disservice to the indie LGBT content creators out there. Some people don’t look for LGBT content made by and for LGBT people because it is easier to wait for Disney’s crumbs. I’m not coming for you btw. I have also put on the clown shoes. But my life as a fan has become a lot easier now that I go out of my way to find LGBT media. The fandoms are smaller, which means less people to talk with, but it’s alright.

I mean, yeah, that’s why I said you should endeavor to seek out actual (and not baited/coded) content from LGBT people... but I do think we should all acknowledge

a. finding that content isn’t always easy

b. that content isn’t always good in terms of quality (especially because it’s become a trend to publish books that read like fanfic AND with the rise of self publishing, though those can be good things, as well)

and c. that content... isn’t always good in terms of morality, either

Nor is it guaranteed to handle any other identities besides LGBT well (if it’s even handling LGBT content well in the first place, because, yes, I have seen LGBT creators fuck that up, too)

It’s sort of like the fanfiction vs books debate where there’s a massive space of overlap where the best fanfiction can be better than the worst published literature. So saying one is definitely better than the other (when indeed they may be consumed for very different purposes) misses the mark. Obviously, one should try to read more (GOOD) published literature than shit on the internet, but acting like it’s inherently better to ONLY consume published lit removes flattens a nuanced topic.

Likewise, sometimes gaybait shit is just like junk food. It fills you up, even if it isn’t healthy to ONLY have that. It’s nutrient-low, calorie-dense snacks. Which can have a place in a healthy diet.

Especially when some “By and For LGBT” work ends up nutrient-low in its own way.

I don’t htink attaching morality to these things (on their own, without getting into things like fan entitlement/engagement and things like that) is like... productive?

If someone really wants to watch an anime about gay skateboarders, sometimes, settling for the gaybait is better than waiting for someone to maybe recommend them a YA book where one character is gay and another one skateboards in a b plot narrative that is forgotten halfway through.

Yes, supporting LGBT creators who are competently creating work is essential but... do both?

My point about fan entitlement was about people harassing and bemoaning “gaybait” that was AT MOST accidental subtext and then refusing to seek out content that actually has gay content. About adding intentionality to accidental homoerotic tension and getting angry about it and then doing nothing about it.

And about criticizing creators who gaybait and then throw in mean spirited no homos so they can both capture an LGBT audience and placate a cishet one.

Not about saynig the only ethical consumption of LGBT content comes from LGBT creators, especially since that ignores the existence and VALUE of gay coding and censorship within the industries (which in turn does still make it harder to self promote as indie artists) and closeted creators.

This conversation needs nuance and I know... I know we already know that nuance.

Liek we all reblog gifs of movies made by cishet men about LGBT people (The Handmiaden, BRokeback Mountain, Moonlight). We all consume a lot of content not even knowing who the creators are (until they get exposed or get annoying on twitter).

So... idk man. Yeah, ideally, we are consuming By LGBT for LGBT content but sometimes... the content you want from LGBT creators just doesn’t exist. And sometimes it’s just accidental subtext in a random ass show that never even knew gay peopel exist until you found them.

Until y’all can find me By LGBT For LGBT content about childhood best friends who are separated by war and then separated again by one being frozen in ice and hte other being forced to become a murderer via brainwashing and then the frozen one spends years chasing the murderer because he still believes in him... I’m gonna say......

Let’s just admit all of this content can have value and make you feel good, its just the value might come from different things... and that this isn’t zero sum game.

You can consume LGBT content by/for LGBT people and consume bait AND consume accidental subtext AND criticize the creators in all three of these spheres for different or even the same reasons

This is overly long can you tell I’m avoiding packing

[donnerpartyofone]

hello, friends. today is an extremely stressful day for probably most people who follow this blog. personally, i'm staying a little disconnected, partially because i know it's going to be forever before a conclusion is reached, but also because it's so hard for me to be hopeful. wishing for a different president than the one we have is one thing, but there is also a wish to be able to stop feeling the way many of us have been forced to feel every day for the last four years; the relief of being allowed to stop listening to and thinking about that one individual would be immeasurable. i'm a little afraid to love this thought, and find myself heartbroken. note that i'm not looking forward to Hope and Change, just this one crucial psychic difference. I'm not going to debate whether donald trump and joe biden are fundamentally the same, in that democrats have just as much generalized blood on their hands as republicans. the problem with trump is in what he does to people emotionally. if he were to drop dead this instant, like i pray to god for every single day, mike pence would never inspire and galvanize the same mouthbreathing knuckledragging fuckfaces in the same violent way. having joe biden in the seat of ultimate power would not inflame the same kinds of general public feelings that it is openly permissible to shoot up a synagogue or beat black people to death in the streets, that "many fine people" are capable of these things. even accepting the allegations of rape against biden, i do not believe there are roid-raging frat boys out there who will look up to him and feel encouraged by his success to ramp up their crimes against women. the inflammatory psychic signals that come from trump specifically create their own problems in this country, separate of the legislative corruption and stagnation that we still suffer under the democratic party. politely stifled, appropriately embarrassed bigotry is radically different in character and effect than bigotry that is stroked and fluffed and trotted out on tv by a cartoon father figure who literally makes the rules for everybody. trump, specifically, has to go.

so what do i do with myself, with the conflict between my cynicism about america's ability to progress and my inexpressible rage against what must change? well, sometimes, i toy with elaborate id release fantasies about how i think trump should die. i mean, that would really be the optimal event here, but it would be important that he die in a really humiliating way that makes it hard for his constituents to keep identifying themselves with the idea of him.

i mean, none of this should ever happen in real life, because that would be cruel and hateful of course, and we're not supposed to wish unhappiness on others. but some of these ideas give my nervous brain just the massage it needs to get me through my day.

you know, i mean, i can imagine it would be good if he were like, jacking off to gay tickle porn and had an aneurysm and shat all over himself and it glued all his tickle feathers all over him and the violent paroxysm contorted him into such an idiotic shape that they couldn't remove the frilly bonnet and giant baby rattle from his rigor mortised body before hauling him through the streets in front of everybody to the city dump.

in my imagination, it would be really cool if he were coming down an escalator with a banana in one hand and a corn cob in the other and he choked while slurping on both of them and toppled over and fell right on top of his head which cracked like an egg and his pants split and revealed his many pink and purple layers of spanking welts to the entire press corps.

in my imagination, it would be terrific if it were discovered that he got a dominatrix clown wearing a patchwork pantsuit and blonde bob wig to peg him as hard as possible with a strap-on shaped like a toy gun that shot out a big BANG! flag at the peak of the action, ripping through his colon and out of his dickhole with such force that it caused his entire lower portion to explode like a blood blister, leaving only the flag flapping in the wind before the live audience of a facebook feed that the clown was secretly running the whole time.

sometimes my imagination skips the accidental circumstances and just pictures him as the subject of a mass public execution; i mean like, he's found guilty of assholism by the royal court of the entire galaxy, and he has to get in the middle of a desolate field, and every single person who wants to gets to come and burn him with cigarettes and rip little chunks off of him with nail clippers and stab him with the spines from those anti-rape condoms that burrow in further when you try to remove them, until he falls on the ground and we can all stomp all over him until he looks like a bunch of yogurt, but he's still alive and waving his little baby fists in the air and weeping in a really stupid little way that makes it impossible to feel sorry for him, so he can appreciate it when we get a long chain of elderly lesbians to come stand over his face and piss all over his open wounds, and then nature gets in on the act because carnivorous fire ants are attracted to the smell of his blood and they crawl through his tattered clothing to his hilarious little genitals and inject waves of chemical pain into his crotch to radiate throughout his entire body while gorgeous models stand around pointing and guffawing at the size and shape of his mutilated joke of a member, and then jackals and vultures come, unable to wait until he's dead, and start rippping him apart like monkey bread, and parasitic wasps nest in the festering remains, and he is still conscious, and by some divine magic he remains conscious until every single cell has been separated from the others and ground into the barren earth beneath him, which we finally spread with gasoline and set on fire. that would be really ideal.

sometimes it makes me feel better to just imagine him in the most irretrievably degraded state possible, in which every single shred of his being is individually punished to the fullest extent possible for his appalling and totally irredeemable existence that has been destructive to practically the whole entire world including people who like him. i think maybe the one thing that the right has over the left is their acceptance of the power of hate. in the extremely disturbing and eye-opening documentary FEELS GOOD MAN, about the internet's conversion of innocent cartoon character pepe the frog into a fascist icon, modern druid john michael greer makes a fascinating observation about how the pepe episode is a demonstration of sigil magic, in which a symbol facilitates the intense concentration of passionate hatred, so that it can be weaponized in a focused laser-like fashion against the object of this hatred, and used to scaffold the success of the object's adversary--namely trump. many people have theorized that the remarkable focus of feeling that was achieved within the chan boards during 2016 was, in one way or another, directly responsible for the outcome of the election. i guess i wish that the left were capable of this same kind of mass ritual, to stop the in-fighting and the moral purity tests, and pool our collective hatred in the same satisfying way that we've seen the right do--just to share the dream of it. i mean, why not? it's just emotional catharsis. it's just the power of the imagination. it can't hurt anybody. it's not like our congealed desires could spin themselves into a massive psychic megaton rocket aimed directly at the entire fate of the worst person on the planet. so let fly, indulge yourself a little. add your notes to this post, whydontcha. things can't get any worse!