#i just don't want to overdo it yknow?

[dogearedheart]

Just wanted to say that you shouldn’t feel bad for talking/venting about your own life at all. It’s your own blog!!

there is a part of me that knows that, I think. But there is also a part of me that feels like I'm screaming into the void, bothering people who are already having a rough time, if that makes sense

[sanjifucker42069]

Alright babyyyyy I wanna write down some of my viewpoints so you can see why I write strawhats the way I do:

I'm autistic, you bet your ass Luffy is autistic. He screams asexual and probably aro to me. Not bc he's autistic. That boy just has asexual energy. Love you king.

I high-key love Zoro's sassy ass. I also love how he actually isn't that bad at reading his friends. He is an idiot tho. Actual adore idiot!zoro, that man's a gem

Nami has such lesbian energy girlies. I really love Nami. Queen Shit, honestly. I will be writing some barely coherent shit about how much I really love Nami.

Sanji.......I love this whore. I will whine non-stop. This man deserves everything. This guy is as bi as they come baby. This man is the true definition of switch, but leans sub af. I REALLY wanna write something that explores Sanji's complex feelings around gender. I see this guy as someone who has had views of being feminine highly warped, bc baby I'm sorry, but he has real feminine energy. In fact I dont really know if I see sanji as like as cis!male as they come, yknow?

I think we can all agree Sanji doesn't really know how to handle love. None of the strawhats really can where I'm at so far. I think they all deserve to be shown they can be loved. To me though, Sanji is an interesting case. You can't tell me that he hasnt perfectly formulated a persona he uses to talk to people so he can protect his heart. You can't tell me the Vinsmokes didn't drill into him you gotta be tough.

I also firmly believe Sanji has bad toxic masculinity. I see that as a reason him and Zoro clash like they do. Sanji see women as fragile treasures to protect, whereas Zoro sees women as...well women, and that they can do anything. A lot of my sanji writing 100% revolves around taking that bitch and putting him in a situation where he's cared for and shown that being feminine is an okay thing, that relinquishing control is an okay thing, that you don't have to be some macho guy 24/7

I want to make him cry. Not an observation just a fact.

Also.......yeah he does overdo it, but man...pervert Sanji is kinda endearing, so you BEST believe that man is a pervert in my writing.

You KNOW that man wants to be praised and called baby, and good boy, and pretty and [i am forcibly dragged out the back and shot like the dog i am]

Robin mommy

Chopper baby, love chopper. I am a chopper stan.

Love me some Franky, ADORE me some frobin

[sangvinaria]

7, 13 and 14

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

man this one is hard, theres always pieces i love

'I ache for you – for the way your gloved hand caresses my cheek in those tender moments,  for your sure steps through the labyrinth I must live in, for the way those piercing eyes soften at my arrival (and I am so painfully sorry I have never turned to see what they look like when I leave, for I fear I would simply run back to your arms and damn my position to hell.) My love, when I wake up in the morning it is your arms I wish were around me rather than his, it is your ring I long to wear on my finger rather than his, it is your heart I long for rather than his. Perhaps, in another life, I was less of a coward and less preoccupied with my position. Our love haunts me, and it is a ghost I could not ever want to exorcise. I live my life in our secret moments, hidden in hotels and scented with tulips and camellias and regret. There is nothing –  nothing – I want more than to love you openly.'

repetition of threes, repressed feelings, and flower language? sign me up. seriously though, this is from 'letters unsent' and despite being written in an hour for a challenge, its one of my favourite pieces - i can definitely see where my writing got influenced by edwardian lit here.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

ooh, tough question - mainly because what it differs between writers. my main one is to not be afraid to use literary devices, they'll always spice things up, and its pretty easy to tell when you're overdoing it.

another one that was really important for me was that you don't have to write chronologically - if you're stuck, just stick a note saying [this happens in this way] and move on to a part you want to write about

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Don't use a thesaurus, it drives readers away.

i don't like this one bc a) i like having to look up new words i find it fun, and b) it always feels like its coming from some company executive who wants things to be short and snappy and marketable, not... yknow, your writing.

also, c) if i never used a thesaurus you'd be stuck reading the same verb 12 times. i am bad at remembering to change out verbs i need it for variety desperately

yes, using overly complicated diction for long periods of time can cause readers to get weary, and don't use a word if you don't know how to use it - but please. use a thesaurus.

[audiovisualrecall]

- I'm still coughing. When I start coughing I get stuck in a coughing fit or spasms. I need tp have something to drink and/or cough drops right at hand.

-still congested, it's better, but my sinuses are still at least half congested and randomly I can't breath thru my nose at all for a while

- I don't know if I get tired easily or winded or anything bc I haven't really had any opportunity to do much more than go up and down stairs a few times a day. Maybe I should try to run around like I do at work to test it out, idk. So I don't know if I go back to work that I won't get exhausted or out of breath super easily/quickly and not be able to function.

- the coughing has led to my *other* side muscles being strained and very painful. I am known for overdoing things and will undoubtedly make it worse at work

-my stomach is still thrown off by the virus and I'm not eating what I normally do yet, and I have a lot of anxiety around food and my stomach and issues and nausea... being at work isn't gonna help that really

-I didn't have enough sugar for 1-2 days and it resulted in fatigue and sort of dizziness, lower than usual body temp for me, I was very worried and Had to sit down and drink juice and eat carbs slowly to feel better. With how work tends to have me super busy and taking breaks late, I worry about this.

-I still occasionally get this headache, and it is there - when I roll my eyes in any direction there's this weird painful sensation and idk what that's about

But: I feel ok, I'm bored, I need something to *do*, I miss talking to people, I miss having things to do all day, I don't have a fever and I'm not constantly coughing and I can move around and stuff, and staying home so much makes not going back at all so very tempting, and also is making it harder to deal with my depression, and also I can't help but Feel like I'm doing what I did in middle and high-school where I would stay home sick but I just didn't want to go, I was totally fine or fine enough to go to school and then I'd feel guilty all day and do nothing or watch tv instead of doing something I'd want to on a regular day off, even though it's not the same I am feeling the same and doing the same thing!!!

So..the issue is going back to work on Friday may be good for my mental health But it may not be good for my physical health! And i can't really TELL how if I have legit reasons to be concerned abt going back so soon or if it's all anxiety talking. After all I have off on Saturday anyway so if i find I'm exhausted Friday I can readjust plans then...but also idk if work will be OK with me going so hey yknow how I said I was ok to come back and did for 1 day? Yeah no Imma need a couple more days now after all. Again. Byeeeee. Like mmm maybe I should just call tomorrow and say I still am coughing and have a headache, blood sugar.... take a couple more days...

But idk!!!!

[suguelya]

Following your section examples :D

Mobile games & Loc:

Oh man, idk if you were there for global Rays but that was some very hazardous translation. Iirc they kept trying to translate Cless' constant puns with a really old-timey language for some reason? What truly deterred me though was the way they not only mistranslated but, similarly to ToV's eng localization, sometimes completely changed the original line. The biggest example I can think of would be Raven, back at the very beginning in one scene where he told Yuri and the others to go ahead while he dealt with some monsters and to which Yuri replied in JP something like "Don't overdo it, old man"...somehow they chose to translate it as "I don't want to lose you". Like ??? None of these words were in the original lmao. It's ooc enough that it worried me they'd keep mistranslating stuff going forward, and the knowledge that they wouldn't be able to botch even more characters (or yknow, Fluri, to stay topical) was my only consolation when the global servers shut down. I'd only want global Rays back if they were able to stay true to Rays' very conscious choice of words.

As for Cresty, I too think the translations were pretty good - a tiny bit too much gen z/internet slang in there for my taste but at least it didn't feel ooc! And I so agree with your frustrations re: transgressor Yuri, I'm still haunted just as you are that we were left hanging this way. I'd even have preferred never to have seen him because this tiny crumb was enough to start my curiosity engine...his design looked so good, too....we could've had it all ;o;

Since my opinion of Asteria wasn't very high (they favored a lot of the same characters over others and especially Estelle with little regard for Flynn) I was very cautious regarding Crestoria. Asteria loved to fuel Yu//stelle (notably with the awful wedding events, which Rays thankfully turned into Ristelle) so I was worried which way Cresty's pendulum would swing, and I think it shut down right before we could've known for sure...there were hints like Flynn's cameo in one of the events, their colors/faces being close to each other in other characters' artworks, and I'm sure he would've been involved in Yuri's sidestory, but I wanted to wait and see for certain before I let my guard down. Guess we'll never know, but the bits you've talked about for a hypothetical fic truly entice me!! I hope you'll go through with it!

Concerning Troy not coming back as Yuri, I think I've heard somewhere that Bamco did not call him back because he had unionized since 2008 and Bamco wasn't willing to go along with the rules set by the Union. Having worked 6 months at the European Bamco headquarters for an internship last year, I can sort of see that being true. Corporates are gonna corporate...that said, they could have had the tact to at least tell Troy about it. Grant George is...okay-ish if you're a casual but yeah, his additions aren't so much jarring as they are very "off". It's the uncanny valley of voice acting lol. I guess the closest they could've come to Troy was Matt Mercer but I'm pretty sure he's unionized, too. Grant must have been the 3rd choice, alas not a very good one.

I understand being attached to the Eng because of nostalgia but personally I've left it behind ever since I first heard the JP voices and so probably don't have to worry about much (unless Mamo or Tori pull a Sakurai, here's crossing fingers they don't).

Arise/Xillia/Zesty:

Aw, man, I see this is where our opinions diverge haha. Personally I had an awful, awful time with Arise because while the first half is decent enough, the gameplay is insufferable and the skits a chore to get through (lost all their anime charm and are nothing but infodumps). And then the het just keeps ramping up in the second half to become all-consuming, much at the expense of the already weak story. Tbh Kisara and Rinwell were the only ones I fully appreciated, despite Kisara's writing reducing her to a Hot Mom Friend and Rinwell's arc against that witch character making no sense. The rest are ranking from meh to absolute garbage in my opinion, especially Shionne for whom I had such hopes at first. She seemed like such an interesting and strong female heroine, and then turned into Estelle 2.0 with tsundere topping and a bonus het marriage & housewife package deal ending. I kept hoping their romance would remain left open like some of the past ones but this is the most openly het a Tales game has ever been (except maybe for Stahn and Rutee having a kid, but even then Stahn has more romantic chemistry with Leon). Trying to sort every single character into neat het pairs with little cross-interactions so there's no room to interpret anything else feels like an absolute slap in the face after the last couple entries tbh.

Arise juste felt like Okuda's wet dream come to life and the further I went into the story, the less interested and the more annoyed I became. That battle mechanics were actual hell like I've rarely experienced in a game before - I'm sorry but Cure Points are the worst feature they've ever come up with, especially since they cost an arm and a leg and money is even more sparse than in X2, and the bosses are overpowered as fuck even on easy. They even had to add an extra easier level shortly after release because the late-game dungeons were unbeatable (final boss battle made me cry tears of blood).

So yeah, I curse Tomizawa for this game that wasn't even supposed to be a Tales game, according to interviews he kinda forced the remaining original Tales devs, most of whom had already deserted to join Scarlet Nexus, to make this random game into a Tales entry. He even admitted himself that people were reluctant to his ideas at first but he "managed to push through" lol...add to that the ridiculous avalanche of merch and events Arise has been spoiled with in the past 2 years and you can see why a lot of the longtime fanbase has had enough of it.

Generally there's been a sense of disillusion lately, because the last 2 years have seen a huge decrease in general Tales merch/events (save for Arise ofc) and a disinterest by Tomizawa for the legacy he's supposed to represent as Producer. Remasters are being made with only a fraction of the effort, care and budget Arise stuff gets, traditions like the tales of orchestra or yearly livestreams are being cut, the few merch we get that isn't about Arise or The Top 5 Popular Guys are all just het hero/heroines sets, older games are being left behind to collect dust and never see the light of a localization day...right now the future of Tales seems kind of empty and uncertain. I do hope it gets better, and soon, but with Tomizawa at the helm I'm very doubtful.

On a brighter note, though, I actually really loved the Xillias. X2 is especially close to my heart since it was a far cry from Zesty's disappointment in almost every way...idk, I liked the choice mechanic a lot and you can unlock Ludger's voice in NG+! Also this is the first Tales game after Vesperia and Graces to make me cry, those endings killed me. Ludger and Elle are very dear to me and the affinity system let me pair up him and Jude to my heart's desire, the closest to Symphonia's at that point I believe! Queer-wise it's got its fair share of representation, too - at least in the localization, oddly enough haha. But that's all a matter of opinion and yours is super valid!

Queerness:

Yes it's those two NPCs I was talking about! My friend and I kept joking that they're on a world-trip honeymoon during our playthrough.

As for the Heliord knight, oh man, you have to check him out whenever you get the chance, his dialogue changes depending on the character you main and the arc you're in. Honestly I was kind of blown away by the explicity of his lines when they were shown to me. It's why I'm adamant they are genuine rep. A few of my favorites:

This guy is down bad for Flynn lmao (same, though).

As for Estelle, I'm so glad you agree since in my 12 years of fandom I've only come across a handful of people who don't worship her lmao. Would love to discuss that in private (maybe discord?) because fandom decided disliking a female character while also shipping an m/m pair makes you a nasty yaoi-obsessed fujoshi, which has made me lose all motivation to talk about it publicly lest I get called a misogynist again >>

I agree though that it is ridiculous how often people just skip sibling relationships in m/f when it's such a precious concept. I have 2 younger sisters and very much would burn the world to keep them safe, like that's not exclusive to romance at all. And as you mentioned before, he's just as concerned for Karol in the Blade Drifts so if Karol had been in Estelle's place Yuri would have acted the exact same way!! There's no romance to be had when he's protecting her out of a sense of duty and brotherly love. And yet there's still folks out there blind to that...sigh. Even Tori's sick of it haha.

Alisha is such a step-up from her, though, even if on the surface she shares the "pink princess" title. The entire fiasco with her and Rose was a stupid mess of an overreaction - at least at first, because the reason japanese fans riotted was that Bamco falsely adverstised Alisha as the heroine when Rose ended up taking much more space in the game, and it angered the waifu bros...but on the other hand, the reason why Rose took up more space in the first place is worth being upset over, too. Apparently Fujishima slept with Rose's VA and favored her in the plot late in the game's writing, creating this whole mess. In the end only Rose's VA paid the price as she had to publicly apologize during the following Talesfes, while Fujishima came off scot-free and to this day keeps working for Tales. Gotta love sexism. Hideo Baba also "quit" but it wasn't solely because of this problem, there were rumors of him being a bit of a pervert backstage as well (haven't found a lot online to back that up tho so take that info with a grain of salt).

Oh and regarding the TalesFes Tori episode, I guess I kind of agree? It's not not uncomfortable, at least. I think what bothers me more than Onosaka's "But she's the princess!" is his "違う違う" right after Tori yells the "I love you" meant for Flynn. It's kind of rude and invalidating imo, proof that he's not as on board with it even for the joke (which makes little sense to me as he always toes the homoerotic line with Konishi himself, anyway). So yeah in that regard I understand what you mean, even if Tori's response feels less like an response to Onosaka's remark and more like an explanation for the crowd that voted Yuri & Estelle lmao. Also because he's king.

I'm a little sad they've stopped making drama CDs altogether but given the serie's current direction, maybe that's for the better. There are incredible ones like the Cinderella play or the handcuffs episode, but others I like way less like Estelle daydreaming about Flynn and Yuri switching places in her rescue, or the girls having a stereotyped "which guy do you have a crush on" pillow talk. It's very much a mixed bag. It's also the same reason I'd be very wary of any Vesperia sequel simply because I have not trusted Bamco with it since TalesFes 2017. I do not trust them not to fuck up again, especially since Rita's VA joked about it being about a next gen story (speak: a hero/heroine child like Destiny 2) during a radio event some years ago. Even an anime adaptation scares me because of the potential for fuck ups lmao.

I'll just take the Vesperia we have now and enjoy it as it is with all its parts, good and bad, thank you very much ✨

I am 100 percent with you on preferring the JP line in that cutscene if only because it does feel more powerful (and his voice is SO soft, which is something that frequently gets completely lost in the dub in general. Mamoru carries a much softer tone overall for Flynn, similar to how Yuri's playfulness and carefree vibe got lost in favor of the dub's aim for a more "cool adult guy").

That said, I was not even aware they left the whistle out!!! I haven't bothered with that sidequest because the outfit is readily available for free as DLC.

While I enjoy having Flynn present in the last battle, I wish they'd just had him look back up at the sky and say that right next to Yuri right before the very end of the cutscene (since imo that'd be the best placement for it). No reason not to stick that back in!!!

But removing the whistle is just an outright crime and I am owed a fee from the people who decided that for the devastation I've been inflicted with.

Big same 🤝

I used to be such a fan of the eng dub but tbh ever since I experienced the original japanese (back when we still called it the PS3 Version lol) I never looked back. The wording is so, so, SO much more layered and leaves little room to misinterpret subtleties and subtext. Like you, I've had many gripes about the localization because sometimes they just plain insert stuff that was never there in the first place - iirc Troy Baker admited that apparently they rushed the dub so hard, sometimes the voice actors themselves were asked to chip in for the translation...he said he loved that (I'll bet), but that might explain why so much of the OG english script was already full of weird phrasings and insertions...add to that the even more sloppy and lazy DE localization and you get only half of the richness of the original japanese.

Also yes Mamo and Tori *are* Flynn and Yuri more than anybody ever could be. Sam and Troy do a good enough job but I agree that Troy may have been directed to play Yuri closer to a traditional "cool bad boy", which is hilarious given how the original Yuri is a twist on that very trope. Unfortunately, Troy gave him this uncharacteristically cold/aggressive edge whenever he talks to Flynn that it makes it sound like he's always annoyed to see him, and it strips their relationship of so much of the softness and playfulness that Tori lends Yuri.

Anyway enough about me ranting because I could go on for about 10 more hours about this issue lmao. Honestly yeah they very well could've rearranged Flynn's cutscene to fit in there at the end, like hell if you can change the entire camera angles of whole scenes you can change that one background, no?? Knowing Tomizawa though that might have been more effort than he was willing to grant this remaster - won't be his last time.

Same for the wolf whistling!! They replaced it with a skit that is just as funny...

....but void of the insane flirting the original had. Idek why they went so far as to change it, it would've been less work to just leave it as it was 😭

[twocubes]

Hello madame Twocubes, can you do a divination for me? I fell in love with my first love again (that is, the person I really liked for the first time) We've known each other for five years, since we've been in frequent contact on the Internet I confessed to him again. He said he likes me too but he doesn't want to have a girlfriend just yet. Since his birthday was coming up, I asked him to go to the movies together and he said yes... I'm not sure how I should present myself on a date?

ALRIGHT let's go. i know this is like 3 days late, so it might well be way too late, but a promise is a promise! probably overdoing it, but, i figured i'd test a subset of my Relationship Generation Spread, repurposed as a divinatory tool:

this spread is probably Wrong For This Purpose in that it's like. effectively a general relationship diagnosis? but hey, context is useful, so, might as well try. So.

why there is a relationship: V OLD AGE V OLD AGE is... uhm... V OLD AGE is to do with giving up, passing the torch, taking a back seat, moving on, that sort of stuff.

what you see in him: the TEMPLATE I USED TO MAKE THESE CARDS, reversed. the TEMPLATE I USED TO MAKE THESE CARDS is to do with like, considering an example, with... idk there being something specific here.

what he sees in you: the THIRTEEN of DIAMONDS the THIRTEEN is to do with clicking, with Vibing Together, with... yknow, just kind of getting along without really Knowing Why. DIAMONDS is to do with what gives life value, this can be friendship or relationships, or stuff like purpose or rewards or money or whatever

what you want to see in him: the KING of DIAMONDS the KING represents those precious things that you protect, the piece that when lost the game ends

what he wants to see in you: the STAR of SPADES, reversed the STAR is to do with taking the initiative, and SPADES is to do with conflicts and contradictions (in the marxist sense), and it's reversed.

...

ok, so, uhm.

disclaimer that uh

hm. ok how about:

THIS PROPHECY IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF ACCURACY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE SEER BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES, INSULT OR OTHER LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE PROPHECY OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN PROPHECY AND DIVINATION.

alright now that that's out of the way, i read these cards thus:

the relationship exists in the first place because... well, having searched far and wide and seen many things, you are now moving on with this part of your life and going for something that you know very well... no even if i write it like that it sounds like i'm saying you're settling. look the cards can be mean, and this one is really hard to read differently. also what's wrong with settling?

what you see in him is... something specific, something that isn't the sort of generalities that I'd be able to guess from the cards, and it's an example of something that you don't really get. it isn't you could make up as an instance of some general pattern you understand, it's part of a pattern that you're trying to understand in the first place

he sees in you something that he clicks with. your current relationship with him brightens his life in how easy he finds it for you two to just be together. you just vibe together very well, and that's what he sees in you right now.

what you want from him is for him to be something precious that brightens your life and makes you want to go on

what he wants from you is... to not have to take the initiative in conflicts, to be able to relax. or something.

so, how should you present yourself? well, you want to be reliable to him and you want to continue to click, you want to let him depend on you and follow your lead. he will become your poor little meow meow in time, your precious cinnamon roll.

...or... something

idk

well, good luck in any case.

[spamtonology]

any tips for writing spamton in a fic where the overall tone is more lighthearted? im writing an x reader and my writing style tends to be more lighthearted and sort of silly, plus its ultimately a fluff fic so yknow

since it focuses more on spamton and his inner thoughts, i am adding in references to his insecurities, sort of comparing himself to the trash hes surrounded by, not feeling good enough for the love interest, deciding he still needs the neo body if he wants a chance of winning them over, things like that

i have another one in progress where i portray him a lil differently. the idea in this one is that readers just got those Good Vibes and it lowers his guard a bunch, where in the other one he still takes advantage of their kindness to become neo and doesnt even recognize them as a friend until its (almost) too late

he has a similar revelation to ingame but instead of "youre giving me freedom even after everything i did to you?? maybe the real freedom was the friends we made along the way" its more like "you sacrificed everything for me and in the end nothing even came of it. maybe you werent stupid, maybe you were just Nice"

I'm afraid I don't think I understand your question too well, my apologies.

By lighthearted do you mean something with little conflict (which your description does not sound like) or something especially humorous? Even with the latter definition if you wanted to focus on Spamton's own insecurities and self-worth issues, it'd be hard to keep that simply humorous without suddenly swerving into dark comedy or even just depressing territory. While I can write comic scenes now and then, I'm definitely not the best at writing more lighthearted and sillier works, I tend to overthink things and take it too seriously.

I could give you tips about writing Spamton, or at least writing how I would interpret him in a specific scenario. For something more "lighthearted" you want to focus on his goofier side, with some of his sillier adspeak and behavior reflecting his odd, meme-y charm. Songs like One Weird Tip and classic Youtube Poops are often the source material for his bizarre sense of humor and style. Spamton does naturally come with dark humor, it is a part of his personality, but try not to overdo it.

You could create a scenario where Spamton's mind is continually fighting against itself, but the outside world of Cyber City and the activities he partakes in are quite pleasant (such as going out for dinner). It's still not exactly lighthearted, but it does provide an interesting contrast between two different perspectives.

You could also have him argue with his own psyche in there about his self worth. One part of him thinks he's the greatest salesman that ever lived and he's still wildly successful, but another part of him knows the truth, and finds him to be about as worthy as the trash he sleeps in. This study of his own self-contradictions seems like it would be a lot of fun to read about!

As for the NEO body, did his goal change after he met this self-insert? Initially, his motivations are purely selfish and for power, and he's not a sentimental person, so it would take something especially drastic for him to change his mind like that. I won't tell you to change your story or say you shouldn't do it, go for it if this is the end goal for your story! It's just my opinion that I don't find it very believable for his character.

I apologize again if that isn't the answer you were looking for, feel free to ask me again or come off anon. Remember this is YOUR story and you should focus on how YOU want to make it, not necessarily listen to a stranger's interpretations of a character they could be wrong about.

[borom1r]

ilja asks!!!! th one who inspired me to create my own disciple oc!!! I would like to hear abt like. how he operates as a disciple perhaps? like what he does primarily if that makes sense (kinda like lawrence w his medical procedures). I also wld like to hear abt him + lawrence - their dynamic, how their relationship develops/what led them to becoming romantic, and what they do after john's death if they do anything at all? (also whatever his relationship is w hoffman and mandy if all of that isn't too much bfjdjshs. It doesn't have to be super in depth I just love yr ocs!!!)

YESS YES YES ok he was a metalworker so he rlly just. welds shit n actually builds th parts of the traps. John n Mandy design them, Ilja builds the bigger pieces (Mandy will build smaller/more delicate traps; for Ilja, think things like the motel trap), and Ilja n Hoffman will assemble them (or just Hoffman if it needs to be transported to an outside location first). Ilja is also just. the most awful little shit and he relishes in the fact that he gets to spend extended periods of time around Hoffman while fully aware of th fact that Hoffman hates him. he has Almost died many MANY times. it is Always worth it.

which is a good springboard for his relationships w Mandy n Hoffman! hehe..

Ilja LOVES Mandy to bits. he views her as a sister and would genuinely go out of his way to protect her from harm. thts part of the reason Hoffman hasn't just choked him th fuck out before— bc it would bring Mandy AND Lawrence's fury down on him n yknow what? Hoffman's smart enough to know he Doesn't Want That. Ilja's also more likely to act out in front of Mandy bc he does genuinely enjoy having an audience; if he's alone w/ Hoffman he's more likely to just put his earbuds in n completely ignore Mark, which is the only reason any work gets done.

As far as Hoffman goes, all u rlly need to know is that Hoffman hates Ilja with a burning passion and Ilja thinks this is just fucking hilarious. Ilja also has just. an extremely rancid sense of humor. (in a world where Amanda survives III, just imagine all of them in the kitchen at Jigsaw Central one morning n Ilja asking, completely deadpan, what Mark is using Strahm's hand for— "'cause, y'know, guys have needs. and if I had my dead crush's hand in a cooler, well... I can think of plenty of ways t'take care of those needs! he sure didn't give ya a hand when he was alive!")

as far as Lawrence goes.... ok the best way i can explain th juxtaposition between Ilja with Lawrence VS Ilja with Hoffman is this. except Ilja is chasing Hoffman w/ a portable welding torch (which can cause VERY deep burns bc they're high-pressure) while Lawrence drinks tea and reviews the latest Elaborate Jigsaw Game ("GET YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND UNDER CONTROL" "he's harmless." "NO THE FUCK HE'S NOT!!!")

it does actually take some time for Lawrence to.. warm up to the idea of befriending Ilja? because genuinely Ilja shares a lot of personality traits w/ Adam (hello OC i made in th process of questioning Adam <3). which means for a while Lawrence kind of held Ilja at a distance— except Ilja is persistent and brings him Starbucks and happily listens to Lawrence talk about his interests and, slowly, Lawrence warmed up to Ilja's presence. When they grew closer, Ilja asked Lawrence out n he was Very happy tht Lawrence said yes! Ilja is essentially a very affectionate cat w/ Lawrence— he loves to just plop down in Lawrence's lap n distract him to goad him into taking a break from work when he thinks Lar's overdoing it, or if Lawrence is on the couch Ilja will lay down w/ his head in Lawrence's lap n just fall asleep Right There. Lawrence.. won't Admit it but he does love th casual affection (it makes him feel.. i don't want to say more human but it certainly helps ground Lawrence. they are both bastard disciples but also Lawrence Isn't Alone Anymore and that.. that's big for him)

n as far as what they do after John dies, Ilja mostly follows Lawrence's lead— Hoffman hated him so it's not surprising that Ilja dips out as soon as Lawrence does, and when the opportunity comes to KILL Hoffman? oh Ilja is DELIGHTED. Ilja is actually the one to handle freeing up that shackle for Hoffman, to minimize the amount of time Lawrence wld have to spend in the bathroom. once that's taken care of they do just settle down fully, but as far as like. immediate aftermath, it does shake Lawrence to be back n that room n see Adam's corpse... he's very grateful Ilja is there + helps him through the resurgence in nightmares.....