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suksatoru · 22 days ago

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002. CARNATIONS

Touya wasn't fitting in very well.

There were a lot of things you noticed about him during his first week. He didn't talk much - he'd sit in silence a lot more than he should. It was bad. He was spending too much time with his own thoughts - and you were becoming afraid that he would end up swimming too far into his own mind where drowning would only be inevitable.

He didn't eat much either. Only when he absolutely needed to - and he'd take a few bites before stubbornly pushing his plate away. It was hard trying to get him to talk to you too, because he simply refused to cooperate.

There was this faraway look in his eyes. Like he couldn't believe what his life had come to. He had so many plans - so many things to do. They were all hopeless now. He had an entirely new checklist- and he couldn't even be bothered to pick it up. Was it bad that he had no will to live?

Touya didn't understand why his father wanted him alive. He hadn't seen him since the war, only hearing his name whispered amongst the doctors when they thought he was asleep. Touya truly didn't see the purpose of his family fighting so much for him - he was falling apart. Both mentally and physically, straining the doctors for no reason when he should just die. He'd done terrible things, and in his mind, he deserved death.

"He won't listen to anyone besides you."

You blow out a breath of air with a nervous chuckle, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you look up at your supervisor. She looked mad. Her brow was ticked upwards, a wrinkly finger holding up a sheet of paper that had 'Todoroki' scribbled at the top. His latest speech evaluation report.

"He can talk just fine with the insults he was spitting at the other doctors. That man has a foul mouth, and an even fouler mood. No doctor that comes even within five feet of him is spared his horrible remarks and glares. But in all of your reports, you never once mentioned him saying anything exceptionally rude. He's... quiet around you."

Your brows pinch together as your gaze stays on the report in your hands

Touya was confusing you.

"And I understand you have other patients, but they've all progressed nicely with their treatments. Todoroki - well, he is a special case."

You were being asked to accept the job of having Touya as your sole patient. You knew his condition was bad - but you didn't think it was this bad. The other doctors had all come to the same conclusion, that he was in desperate need of a single support system. Someone who could help him every step of the way - and they had made a unanimous vote for you to be that person.

You accepted. You thought you'd have to think more about the proposal, but...

"Touya, do you like board games?"

For the first time this entire evening, his eyes lift from the tiled floor he'd been glaring at as he turns to you with a look of disinterest. You try not to let him see the way you're fighting back a smile when he finally speaks for the first time this afternoon

"I haven't played one since I was a kid. I don't even remember how they work."

"That's ok - I can teach you!"

He looks out the window, gently rolling his shoulders as the muscles under his hospital gown shift from the movement

"Why? Just sounds like a waste of time to me." He says, his voice gruff as you gently drag your chair closer to his bed

"Well, some of these games involve some brain work. Don't you think it'd be a nice challenge to try and work them out? We can even-"

"No."

You pause when he interrupts you, folding your hands in your lap as you patiently wait for him to continue. Your smile falters when he starts staring again, his eyes opening a little more to watch you as he remains silent and still - not elaborating any further.

"Ok-"

"Call Endeavor."

You pause, trying not to show your surprise as you quickly close your parted lips when you meet his gaze.

Nothing. His eyes were devoid of even a speck of emotion as he stared at you. If it hadn't been for him moving to run a tired hand through his white locks, you would've thought he was dead. That is just how dull his eyes looked.

"Well... let's talk about this first, okay? Why would you like to call him, Touya?" You ask softly, moving to grab his hand like you'd do to comfort any other patient before your fingers awkwardly hover over his hand

Touya did not like to be touched.

He narrows his eyes at you with an annoyed sigh before he looks away again, clearing his throat before speaking

"I need to do something."

You frown, taking a quick glance at the emergency phone across the room. There were a few contacts Touya would be allowed to call - one of them was, unfortunately, Endeavor's.

"Are you sure you'd like to call your father-"

"Don't fucking call him that."

You freeze, a chill running down your spine that feels like being dowsed in ice water when he snaps at you. His eyes burn to life, the hatred in them so strong that you can't even bring yourself to look at him as you realize you'd crossed some sort of an invisible line.

"I- okay, I'm sorry. Do you not like it when I address him as that?"

His silence was all the answer you needed.

Maybe it was your guilt that had you hesitantly reaching for the phone. You power it on - and you can see the poorly hidden surprise on his face when he quirks an eyebrow, surprised you were fulfilling his request.

He almost feels bad for what he's about to do. Almost.

"I'll hold the phone up to your ear, Touya. Let me know if I'm too close, ok?" You ask gently, and he nods his head with a grunt. He's not staring anymore - he's actually avoiding your eyes. Maybe you should've taken that as a sign that something was wrong, but you were too busy trying to understand what was going through his mind that made him want to call his father so out of the blue.

You pray silently that Endeavor won't answer - but the phone is barely on the third ring before it cackles to life

"Touya? Touya this is your number calling me - Touya are you there?"

The air is tense with your anticipation - could this mean progress? Barely two weeks in seemed a little early, but you sent Touya an encouraging smile anyways.

That was the last thing he needed to give him the courage to open his mouth

"Fuck you Endeavor! Burn in hell you flaming piece of shit!"

Your yelp doesn't surprise Touya at all as you hastily end the call, fumbling with the phone as he kneels over and grasps the railings of his bed - before he laughs.

It hurts so much to smile, but he does it anyway - his laughter is a hoarse wheeze as his chest shakes. You power the phone off with trembling hands before whipping towards him

"Touya- y-you tricked me!" You sputter, clutching the phone to your chest as he struggles to breathe. He whacks his chest, as if he's trying help the oxygen reach his lungs - and your eyes widen in panic

He lets out a deep exhale, turning to you with a barely noticeable smirk when he sees the dread in your eyes

"That was too easy. You shouldn't be so nice to me, Doc."

"Well... this could be considered progress, sir! He's, uhm - open to communication?"

Endeavor is not amused. He drills you for another fifteen minutes - demanding to know every little thing about Touya's recovery process, and each minute you shrink further and further into your seat.

Who knew Touya would be the one to come to your rescue?

The undeniable beep that comes from your pocket immediately rips away your attention from Endeavor

Beep beep beep beep-

"What is that?" He nearly growls as you fumble with the small device in your hands, desperatly trying to turn it off as your feet move towards the double-doors quickly

"Touya's emergency button, he's calling me - I'm so sorry but we need to continue this conversation another time! " You yell over your shoulder before he can even get another word out, racing to the elevators as you come to a stumbling stop in front of them - you press the third floor button four times before the beeping starts up again.

Your mind immediately thinks the worst, and you're practically flying to the stairs as you run by two families and nearly knock a fellow doctor off his feet in your race towards Touya's room

Touya jumps when his room door slams open, his brows furrowing as he discreetly tries to see what made you run into his room in such a haste.

There were a few strands of hair that had fallen from your updo - you're panting as you take in Touya - sitting just fine on his bed as he stares at you. There's a hint of amusement in his eyes when he sees you before he slowly turns away.

He peers down to the device in his hands as he points it at the TV - clicking the small red button on it over and over again.

"A-Are you-"

"It won't turn off."

He waves the remote at the TV again, grumbling all sorts of profanities under his breath as he stubbornly tries to will the screen to shut off - the news played softly through the speakers as you slowly nod your head

"We use this remote for that."

He eyes the device in your hands before holding up the one in his hand

"Then what the hell is this for?"

"Emergencies. You press it when you need me and it is urgent - I check in periodically anyways, so you only use this remote when you really need me to come right away. You pressed it a lot of times before, so I had to run here. I thought something was wrong." You sigh, rubbing your temple as he turns over the device in his hand with a thoughtful hum. You gather the fallen strands in your palm and work on quietly fixing your hair.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

You pause from where you were tying your hair - lowering your hands into your lap as you tilt your head at him in confusion. Touya's glad he interrupted you while you were tying your hair - because now it falls over your shoulders in soft waves. He thinks you look... nice like this. He wonders if this will be the only time you'll let your hair flow freely in front of him.

The bluntess of his question was what made your hands drop. His words hang in the air as you try to formulate a response, but he cuts you off before you can get a word out.

"The other bastards treat me the way I deserve to be treated. How come you're actually trying? What's in it for you?"

He seems annoyed. But then you see the sincerity in his eyes - and you realize he genuinely didn't think he deserved any form of kindness. You want to hug him - but you also would like your limbs to stay in tact, so instead - you lean forward with a soft smile.

"You see, I like to think of people as flowers."

He stays silent, waiting for you to continue.

"Some grow in open fields with the sun shining over them all the time. Some grow through the cracks in concrete - and some die from drowning in too much rain or being dried out from the heat."

Something in his eyes softens at your words

"All flowers are beautiful you know - the ones people say are too far gone can still be preserved. I really like pressing flowers, you know, in glass. It reminds me that their beauty is an everlasting type of thing."

You pretend not to notice the sheen in his eyes when he stares at you. It's quiet. The curtains move from the gentle breeze that enters through the open window, and it catches wisps of your open hair in it as you smile.

Touya had thought he'd seen it all. The ugliness of the world, the terrible parts no one should venture into. How many times had he lied when he'd say "I've seen it all." ?

He realizes how wrong he was when he understands he forgot to look through the cracks in the dark walls he'd been surrounded by for so long - the splits and breaks in the surface where hope seeped through. There was still so much he wanted to see.

Flowers. Who knew something so little could mean so much?

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

@dabislittlemouse @rueclfer @kawaiidemoneart @porusuniverse

@starrmage @lilbeatlebear @bokukenmakuroo @bbluefllame

⬆️ i love u all for the support 🥺🩷 thank you. i am seriously so greatful :(

please let me know if you would like your username to be removed or added!! i got a little excited with the taglist sowwy 😖

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dollfacefantasy · 2 months ago

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do you get deja vu? ♡

toji fushiguro x fem!reader x shiu kong

your ex-boyfriend shows up one night at you and your current boyfriend's home. the two of you decide to let him stay for the night, but the proximity causes old feelings to rise to the surface.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, masturbation, threesome, voyeurism/exhibitionism, past infidelity, light angst

kinktober slot: day 9 - voyeurism/exhibitionism

"I don't understand how you watch this shit," Shiu says, glancing down at where you're pressed against his side on the couch.

Your head tilts in his direction, eyes narrowing in defense of your film choices. "Um, excuse you. You've seen nastier stuff in real life, which is way worse."

"You're right. That's why I can't believe you watch it for fun," he teases and presses a kiss to your forehead.

You roll your eyes and sink back into the warmth of his body on the couch. You'd known from the moment he'd asked to join your marathon that Shiu wouldn't like slasher movies. He'd proposed the idea to you earlier, and of course you said yes, not wanting him to feel rejected. But you knew before he even sat down that he wouldn't enjoy this.

The gore wouldn't entertain him. He wouldn't see the appeal of the bad acting or campy effects. And while nitpicking would annoy you with anyone else, you were much more lenient with your lover.

You snuggle closer to him and pull the blanket up. It wasn't often you got moments like this with him. He was so controlled by his dedication to his work, sometimes you felt like you never just got to relax with him.

That's why the knock that sounds through your living room moments later spikes your irritation way higher than appropriate.

You scoff and sit up, expecting him to make an excuse about how it'd only take five minutes and then be gone for the next hour. But he doesn't do that. Instead he looks to you, just as unsuspecting.

Furrowing your brows, you rise to your feet. You'd been so sure it was related to his work that you had absolutely no idea who else it could be. You pad over to the door, assuming it's just a delivery you forgot about or something else equally as innocuous. Closing one eye, you press the other to the wooden surface to peer through the small lookout.

Unfortunately, the person on the other side is anything but innocuous.

Toji.

For a second, you consider turning around and plopping down next to Shiu again. When he asked who it was, you could shrug it off and say 'Nobody, sweetheart.' He'd never have to know your ex-boyfriend had stopped by.

But you know getting rid of Toji is never that easy. Plus, he could be here to see Shiu. In fact, you reassure yourself that is probably the reason why he's standing outside your door. It most likely has nothing to do with you or your shared tumultuous past.

As much as you'd begged him to cut him off, Shiu kept in contact with Toji over the last year. You didn't understand it. If you stole one of your friend's boyfriends, you'd never speak to or work with them again out of shame. But maybe it wasn't the same for guys who swiped their buddies' girlfriends.

You open the door, maintaining a neutral expression. "Hi, Toji."

He looks down at you, lips spreading into a small smile. "Hey. How're you doing?" he says, as if this is a completely normal conversation and he hadn't just shown up at random on your doorstep.

"Fine. What are you doing here?" you say, not wasting time.

"Is Shiu home?" he asks. Despite your uncaring tone, he doesn't seem bothered.

You nod and step aside, making room for his large frame to move past you. When he crosses the entryway, you catch the scent of cologne. It smells much nicer than the cheap shit he used to wear when you were together. You couldn't get that odor off your pillows for months after he left. You'd remember it anywhere. If the police put it in a lineup, it would be just as much of an identifier as the scar on his lip.

Rolling your eyes, you figure he got this new one from some woman he slept with. Since you'd split, you'd heard through Shiu he had a talent for finding a myriad of well-off, lonely women to mooch off of.

You follow behind him into the living room. Shiu pauses the movie and sits up to look at the visitor. He stands upon realizing who it is.

"Toji?" he prompts, his tone not unkind.

"In the flesh," Toji responds in the same manner, "You know, a real man doesn't make his lady answer the door."

Shiu cracks a smile at that.

On the contrary, you purse your lips and cross your arms. As if Toji would know anything about being a real man. He wasn't even home most nights when you lived together. It's how Shiu slipped into his place so easily. Maybe if he'd been there to answer the door instead, things never would have changed.

You skulk off to the kitchen to give them some privacy. Through the hall, you can hear the muffled sounds of their voices going back and forth. The conversation stays calm, so you figure it's not too serious.

After a few minutes, Shiu joins you. You can tell from the smile on his face, you're not going to like what he's about to say.

He drifts over to you across the smooth tile floor, his hands finding your waist first and his lips landing on your forehead second. Soft blows of his breath fan over your hairline. The sensation brings a temporary reprieve to you like the gentle blow of a fan when the air conditioner's broken.

You know that's why he does it. Softens you up so you're more malleable to whatever he's about to tell you.

"What is it?" you sigh. Your pupils gaze upward upon his face, the dark circles gleaming with worry.

He chuckles at your trepidation. His thumb swipes at your cheek, pinching the skin between his fingertips for a moment as he gauges your features.

"Toji needs a place to crash for the night," he reveals.

Your expression that he'd been studying morphs into one of distaste. You pull back from his touch and try to untangle the mess of words rising in your throat to protest.

"No way!" you begin simply, "No. I don't want him here overnight. He can go stay with someone else."

He brings you back in by wrapping his arms around you in a tighter circle.

"C'mon, baby. It's getting late. He'll sleep out on the couch. Won't bother you at all," he says.

You frown, still not liking the idea. Obviously. you didn't think Toji would be sharing your bed. That wasn't the issue. The truth of the matter is that you don't want him here at all. You don't want to feel his presence under the same roof. He's a part of your life you'd rather forget.

But Shiu is the part of your life you hold closest to your heart now. He makes it hard to shoot the idea down without hesitating first.

Looking up at him, your lip juts into a subtle pout while your eyes gleam like that of a puppy's. You suspect he feels some sort of obligation towards Toji, some sense of guilt that alleviates through letting him do things like this. You didn't really understand it.

"Why?" you ask, your voice soft and begging, "Can't we just give him money for a hotel?"

The bow of his index finger sweeps down your cheek. His pupils cast over the sweet sight of your face, but you can tell from looking back at them that his mind isn't swayed.

"Money for a hotel, hm? You know that's money I could spend on you instead," he purrs. His head ducks down to kiss along your jawline. "That's a new handbag... A pair of shoes you've been eyeing... your nails and hair..."

Your eyes flutter shut for a moment as you enjoy the low vibration of his voice combined with the tender pecks on your face. Of course, he'd tried bribery before true explanation. But unfortunately for you, it works. God, why does he have such a hold on you? It's ridiculous, but as you imagine yourself all dolled up for him, putting up with Toji seems a lot more tolerable.

Maintaining your displeased look, you stare him in the eyes. "Fine. But we're finishing the movie in our room. I'm not watching it with him," you say.

"Deal," he agrees, sealing the covenant with a kiss.

After your mini conversation, Shiu set Toji up on the sofa while you awaited him in the bedroom. You took the time to properly prepare yourself for bed during this period. You shed your clothes for the one of the luxurious silken sleep sets Shiu had bought for you.

Fluffing up your pillows, you stretch out across the plush array of blankets and cushions. You can hear a bit of muffled talking, but it seems small and irrelevant. Chatter to fill the lull of silence.

Minutes later, your boyfriend finally joins you. He smirks at your sprawled out position, his mind likening the sight of you to that of a model in a seductive perfume or lingerie advertisement. His eyes rake over the smoothness of your legs and the soft curve of your hip. Nudging the door shut, he comes over to the edge of the bed and climbs up.

His frame hovers above your own. You stare back up at him and cup his cheek. He grins at the touch and turns his head to kiss the center of your palm.

"You sure you wanna keep watching that movie?" he breathes, leaning down to kiss the area between your jaw and your neck, "I think I could give you a greater thrill."

A soft giggle comes from you. Your legs squirm and rise to wrap around him. He takes the move as an invitation and kisses your throat with more dedication. His teeth scrape gently at your sensitive skin while his lips apply light suction to make a few marks.

You sigh, the tension you felt from earlier melting away. His hands roam your figure and massage any that remains right out. You tilt your head back to give him more room to work. One of your hands slides around the curve of his head to thread your fingers within his hair.

In no time, he has you whimpering for him. Your hips twitch with desire as your chest rises and falls from your increasingly shallow breaths. His fingers slot between your legs to rub at your pussy through the thin sleep fabric.

"Shiu," you whine, your nails scratching at the tender skin of his scalp.

"I'm here, sweetheart," he murmurs, "You were such a good girl for me. Let me return the favor."

He grinds his growing bulge against your thigh, letting you feel just how he intends to repay you. Both of your quiet noises begin filling the room. Wanting grunts and delicate moans echo about as you two undress and shift into a more accessible position.

Unfortunately, all of these sounds could be heard by the third party in your home as well.

When Shiu came into the bedroom, he hadn't shut the door all the way. It appeared as if he did to your eyes, but upon closer inspection, you would find it was still ajar the smallest amount. No matter how tiny the sliver was though, it was enough for your carnal noises to travel down the hall and out into the living room.

Toji lies there in silence, eyes locked on the ceiling overhead.

Normally, this situation wouldn't bother him. He'd laugh quietly to himself or maybe even jerk off if he was feeling it. But he can't do that right now because this is different. This is you.

He recognizes every little squeak that hits his ears. All of them, you use to make for him. It's as if he can see every action replaying in his mind.

The broken whimper always came out when he pulled down your panties. The needy gasp when he'd kiss your puffy clit and lap at your folds a few times. Finally, the long, whiny mewl makes itself known, and he knows that's the sound of you getting filled up. Only the difference between his memories and reality is the name you're crying out.

He sighs and rubs his face. Down below, his cock begins to involuntarily swell. It makes him feel fucking pathetic, but he can't help it. Like a dog trained to the sound of a clicker, Toji's brain had been conditioned by those sweet little moans.

They don't let up either. They only grow higher in pitch and mixed with the low groans coming from Shiu. You always were vocal in bed. He loved that about you, thought it made everything so much more fun. But now he can't stand it, knowing it wasn't just him who had the ability to make you lose control.

He reaches up and adjusts the throw pillow under his head, as if finding a better position would allow him to ignore the symphony of pleasure filling his ears. He huffs and rotates onto his side, rolls his shoulders a few times to try and manually work some tension out. But nothing works. There was no pose that would drown out those sounds.

A burning ache settles in his sternum. He's not sure what it is. Maybe irritation. Maybe jealousy. Maybe regret. Could even be a mix of all three.

He turns onto his back again. The ceiling is blank enough to provide no distraction, allowing his thoughts to come to the forefront of his mind.

How did he let this happen? He didn't want to sound like some cliche rom com or something, but he couldn't wrap his head around how he let you slip away.

The natural instinct of most men would probably be to blame you for being a slut and Shiu for being a traitorous asshole, but Toji couldn't really find it in himself to point at anything but the mirror when looking for the cause.

He knew he hadn't treated you right. In his defense, he never expected things with you to go so far. He hadn't presented you with some image of a stand-up guy and then taken the mask off later. The first time you saw him was at a seedy bar you were way too sweet to be in. He was in a bad mood already since the target he'd been waiting to intercept was seemingly a no-show.

You'd bumped into him when walking by, and while he rolled his eyes at you for that, upon looking closer he found himself more interested. The two of you ended up talking for a few hours before you went back to your place.

What he'd meant to be one night at most, a small fling to pass the time and have a place to sleep for a while, stuck with him. Maybe it was the pretty sounds he could hear right now that sunk your hooks in and prevented him from just leaving.

He stayed with you a while. You were the first real thing he'd had since losing his wife. Things between the two of you were never perfect or close to some romance out of a movie, but they could be really good at times.

Thinking about it now did get him angry at Shiu. He knew you got frustrated with Toji over his bad habits. He also knew that Toji left you alone for stretches of time when he was away on jobs.

When he caught the two of you, he'd been coming home from the race tracks. He knew you'd be pissed because that's how you always were when he went out gambling. But when he walked through the cramped entryway of your shared apartment, all he'd heard was those sweet whines of yours.

He'd preferred you being pissed to that.

He wonders if he walked into your bedroom right now if it'd look the same. Him standing in the doorway silent while Shiu pounds into you from behind, the both of you jolting to a stop when you notice his presence.

Getting up from the couch, he walks towards the hallway in your direction. He knows he shouldn't. It's not worth it and it won't change anything. But something gnaws at him, giving the urge to see you like that. It could be the last time.

Through the darkness, he pads down to your bedroom door. The small crack of light splits the double doors in half. He comes right up to it and leans a little closer. It's enough space for him to get a glimpse of what's going on inside.

You're in the same position as the day he found you and Shiu together for the first time.

Your face is squished under Shiu's palm against the mattress while your ass is raised up in the air. He can see the way your knuckles tighten as you clutch the blanket beneath you. Shiu kneels behind, hips bucking into you in a nice, firm rhythm.

Each stroke rocks your body forward and back. The noises are louder and clearer now that he's closer. He watches your facial features contort as you make them. The bulge between his legs throbs, aching for his hand to provide some relief.

Reluctantly, he meets his body's desire. One of his arms slithers South, letting his fingers caress his hardness through his pants. He lets out a deep sigh at the dull feeling.

Shiu's hand releases your head and slides up to rest between your shoulder blades. He presses down, pushing your body into a steeper arch. Your legs tense at the feeling. Toji can see how your thighs quiver at the deeper angle.

The heel of his palm grinds against his tip harder while the rest of his hand rubs his shaft. He lets out a sigh, taking in every little movement with half-lidded eyes.

You're starting to get close. He can tell from the way your fingers flex around the material between them and how your noises become more drawn out.

That feeling in his sternum grows uglier, and he hates it. This was fucking pathetic. Jerking off outside your room to the sight of you getting your brains screwed out by another man. He grits his teeth and rubs himself harder. A small moan works its way from between his lips. He can tell you heard something by the way your eyes flutter and try to focus on the door.

Before you can call him out, he decides to insert himself into the situation.

He pushes the door open and leans against the edge frame. His eyes hold disapproval as they fixate upon your figures in clear view.

"You know if you two are gonna be so loud, you should really try shutting the door," he says.

You startle at his sudden appearance and try to jerk upright. "Toji!" you practically shriek.

That feels right to him. That should be what you're crying out while full of cock.

"You fucking perv!" you continue, "Get the fuck out!"

You try to gain your bearings, but he can see Shiu's not letting you up. He hasn't quit thrusting either. His hips keep rolling against the plush of your ass as his head turns in Toji's direction.

"You get lost on the way to the bathroom or something?" Shiu says casually, "You know it's not nice to interrupt."

"Shiu!" you whine, still trying to squirm away. Your cheeks are full of heat. The idea of being so openly used had you feeling more worked up than you would've thought.

"Shhh, princess. You're alright," he says, giving you a soothing pat on the ass. He grabs each side of your hip for further leverage to plow into you with.

Shiu's lips pull into a teasing smile as he looks at Toji. "C'mon. It's not like you're not enjoying listening," he says, eyes flickering down to the obvious strain at the front of his pants.

Toji shrugs, unbothered by the callout. "If you're putting on the show, why should I ignore it?" he says.

"You're a fucking creep," you say. You try to keep your voice steady, but the words come out almost whimpered, to your humiliation.

Your shame went further than being seen in this compromising position though. You couldn't deny what this scene reminded you of - the most disgraceful moment of your life. That night when he came home, walking in on you and Shiu unintentionally. You remember the way he stood there, not saying a thing. He didn't get angry like you expected him to. It was as if something just faded in his eyes. The way he looked at you dimmed.

It feels ugly thinking back on it now, sharp contrast to the bliss Shiu's cock is battering into you. You'd tried to justify it for so long, but you can't think through it at this moment. All you're left with is the guilt and thrill of doing something that feels forbidden.

"Just get out, Toji," you whimper, not even putting up a front this time. You turn your head against the blanket further and shut your eyes.

"Don't be rude, sweetheart," Shiu chides from above.

His eyes are still on the other man in your room. He finally pulls out, giving you a moment to breathe and pull a blanket over your lower half. He leans back and sits against some pillows, body on full display.

"You know, if you want to join, all you have to do is ask," Shiu says.

Your head pops up when you hear that. You stare it at him in pouty confusion, but he's not put off by it.

"Don't act like you wouldn't like the idea, baby. I felt how tight she squeezed me when you saw him," he teases.

More burning embarrassment stings your cheeks. You try to come up with some way to dispute what he said, but nothing comes to mind. Instead, you opt to lower your face against the sheets again. Your boyfriend chuckles, sweeping his hand over your head before looking back at the other man.

Toji stands slightly closer to the bed now, but there's no indication on his face as to whether he plans on taking the offer or not.

"It's not like we haven't shared before," Shiu says. You can hear the knowing look in his eyes.

This statement causes you to look at him again with a raised brow. Before you can ask about it, Toji speaks.

"You know it's not the same," he says.

You look over at him for a moment, taking in the look on his face. A strange concoction of frustration and lust. Your eyes can't help but catch on the familiar swell in his pants as you go to look at Shiu again.

"You two have shared before?" you ask, unsure of how you feel about the idea.

"Mhm," he answers bluntly, "A few different times. But he never wanted to share you."

The concept takes a few moments to register in your mind. At first you feel warmth blossom in your abdomen. But as the unspoken part of the sentence seeps into you, shame extinguishes the pleasant feeling.

Your chest feels hollowed out as you stare at him now. While each of your positions are the same as the day everything fell apart, it's as if you're seeing him from a new angle.

You never thought of Toji as attached to you in that way. You always assumed you were the one pining after him for most of your relationship, longing for feelings that would never be returned with a matching intensity.

God, you felt so stupid now. Stupid and selfish. A horrible combination.

The silence in the bedroom is painful. You'd honestly prefer he just blow up on you and Shiu. Explode in the way he should have when it first happened. But he doesn't.

"If you're not in the mood to join, maybe you'd prefer to watch," Shiu offers, a touch of softness to his words this time around.

He reaches over and grabs you by the waist, tugging you on top of him. You're facing away from him, sitting nude atop his body while staring into your ex-boyfriend's eyes. He starts to lift you up while lining himself up at your entrance below. It makes you squirm, being handled and moved while under observation like this.

You manage to hold in the moan that wants to burst out when he slides you down. Keeping your hands firmly planted on his thighs, you take a second to focus on keeping your composure. His dick feels so good inside you, but the negative emotions you felt before haven't gone away. They're swirling together inside your torso. You feel the need to confirm Shiu's idea to alleviate them somewhat.

"It would be nice, Toji," you say as tenderly as you can in this situation, "It would be better if you stayed."

That gets his lip to quirk upward on the unscarred side. He runs a hand through his inky black hair, pushing it back out of his face.

"Thought you said I was a fuckin' creep who should get the fuck out," he mocks.

Shiu chuckles from behind you while his hands lock around your hips, rolling you down and grinding his cock against your insides without moving much. Your eyes flutter and you bite your lip, but besides that you keep control of your reaction.

"I changed my mind. I wasn't thinking clearly before," you correct.

"You sure you're thinking clearly now?" he asks, eyes glancing down at the point of connection between you and Shiu.

Heat rushes to your cheeks again, but you nod. "I'm sure," you confirm.

You want to tell him that you'd feel even worse if he left and went back out there to be all alone. The guilt would probably ruin whatever release Shiu was working you towards before too. But more important than that, you want to say that you didn't mind his presence right now. That you don't mind it ever because of anything he did. That it bothers you because ever since that day, his figure has transformed into a great, big, flashing reminder of your selfish disloyalty.

But none of it comes out because you sense it would probably feel cheap. Too little, too late to sound sincere.

Instead you just extend an arm to wave him over and pat the bed. You wouldn't even make him sit in the chair in the corner. He could be as close to you as possible without being involved himself.

He pauses for a moment. Coming from you, this invitation seems much more appealing. He tentatively closes the distance between himself and the bed and takes a seat on the end of the mattress, leaning against the bottom board.

Your heart slams against your ribcage in erratic pulses. Both your body and your mind don't know how to comprehend this situation. You know innately you like it. You can feel somewhere deep down the satisfaction from having the two of them here at the same time. But on a more controlled, conscious level, it's strange.

You can feel Toji's eyes scanning over your body, taking in every small detail. From behind, Shiu continues to bounce you up and down. He's growing more bold now that you and Toji have seemed to have settled into this idea.

Shiu's hand reaches up to grab the back of your neck. He pulls a little, forcing your spine to arch and your tits to puff out. You know he wants you to contribute more, so you respond by swiveling your hips.

"There you go," he hums from where he lays against the pillows, "You gotta do your best for Toji, doll. I'm sure he's been missing this."

For Toji. The words bring a rush of unanticipated arousal through you. You whine softly and continue to work yourself up and down on Shiu's shaft, your walls squeezing him with every rise to the tip.

The mention of his name has an effect on Toji too. He feels his cock kick in his sweats. Now that he's been accepted by the two of you, he feels comfortable shimmying his sweatpants down a bit so he can grab his length. He wraps his thick fingers around the heavy appendage and strokes. His eyes train on your bouncing breasts. When the two of you were together, he loved them, practically always had a hand on one. The fact that Shiu doesn't take advantage of those assets and instead focused on groping your ass drives him fucking crazy. But right now, that's a good thing.

He spits down onto his palm to make his tugs more slick. The noise draws your attention. He can see the lust that overcomes your pupils when your mind registers what he's doing.

"Toji..." you whimper.

A shuddery breath rattles from his chest. That wasn't a dream or a memory. It wasn't tainted in hate or drenched in confusion. That beautiful, heavenly sound had been meant for him as nothing but an act of passion. He almost loses it right there, but he manages to hold himself together.

You ride a little faster, subconsciously matching the rhythm of Toji's hand. Leaning forward, more of your weight presses onto your boyfriend's thighs. You use the increased balance to drive him deeper each time and hit all the special spots inside you.

Your vision stays on Toji's cock. You can't help it. It's beautiful. Stunning, entrancing, divine. All appropriate descriptors for the piece of anatomy only a few feet from you. It's long and thick, perfectly proportioned. Bulging veins sprawl from the base to the flushed head that oozes precum above. The pearly beads slide downward and mix with his spit to create a shiny lather over the surface.

He knows you're watching, and that's why he puts extra effort into his performance. He makes his movements much more fluid and exaggerated than they would be if he was doing it at home to a memory.

"Missed me?" he teases.

Your eyes dart away from his dick and up to his face. There you meet his piercing eyes. You stare into each other for a few moments. Communication without words. The message flowing between the two of you transcends even beyond thoughts. All that's left is pure emotion.

Everything feels so much more intense while looking at him. Shiu's fingers dig into your ass cheeks harder, his palm claps against the flesh louder, and his cock ruts deeper. The only thing that's muted in any way are the sounds of his grunts and groans.

You pant while continuing to split yourself open on his length. Your eyes droop with lust as you stare at him. Finally a response to his statement makes its way to your mouth.

"Of course I did," you say. The words come out breathy and full of longing because of course you did. Of course you missed him.

Your head falls back so that you're no longer making eye contact with him, but you can feel that you're still the center of his vision.

He jerks his cock harder. His fingers tighten around it, bringing a brighter red to the surface of his skin. He actually moans too, unable to feel shame for it in the heat of the moment.

In a matter of minutes, all three of you are closing in on release. Shiu's hips buck up to meet yours while Toji thrusts into his own fist. Three voices sound throughout the room now instead of just two. While only you and Shiu are touching, it feels as though you're all moving together, rolling with the same impulse.

"Shiu," you whimper sharply, an alert that you're about to lose it.

He recognizes the tone in an instant, the sound bringing a smirk to his face. "You ready to cum, princess?" he taunts.

You nod wildly, your head bobbing just like your hips are.

"I can tell. But before you do, I want you to ask Toji," he says.

Your hips sputter in their rhythm, the command shooting through you like a bullet. You hesitate but only for a moment. You wanted to cum bad. The need clawed at you more than the embarrassment of asking him for permission did.

He's already looking at you when your gaze returns to him.

"T-Toji," you whimper out. Your lip quivers a little as you will the words to come out, "C-can I cum?"

He continues to stare at you for a moment before wordlessly nodding. Your ex-boyfriend who'd always been able to keep his head under pressure seems dazed in this moment. A rush of conflicting feelings cloud his mind and make him feel some sort of flustered.

You feel release approaching fast in the heat of the moment, you lift your hands from Shiu's legs and reach out to him. Waving desperately, you beckon him into your arms. He's not sure what you're going for at first, but he indulges you and leans forward.

Your hands land on either side of his head and pull him in for a searing kiss. The moan that comes from him against your lips burns you in the best way. You let out a harsh breath and slide your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss as you cum. Your body shudders while he bucks into his fist with feverish jerks.

In the split second that you had made that decision, you hadn't considered how Shiu would feel. The only thing on your mind was your craving for Toji. But based on the moan Shiu lets out and the way his load fires into your cunt, you're pretty sure he's not too upset about it.

Toji finishes moments later, spurting milky ropes of cum out into his palm. He pants against your lips as the two of you continue to make out. Without physically grabbing you, he keeps you in place. He wasn't going to let you pull back yet. This would last as long as he could stretch it.

That turns out to be only about twenty more seconds. It's then that you start to lean back, slipping Shiu's cock out of you and collapsing against your luxurious sheets.

Toji sighs as he comes down from the high and takes in the sight of the two of you. Shiu rubs your shoulder while you glance at him with a gentle look in your eyes. He sits there, wondering if it would be awkward to leave so soon after or if there's something he should say.

You turn to look at him before he can bolt. He can't help but notice that your lips are still a little love-swollen from your exchange. It hurts more than anything else. You stretch out your fingers subtly, silently offering for him to come closer, potentially to stay.

But he can't.

This was already probably a mistake. It wasn't gonna help him get over you any faster, and it wasn't going to get you back from Shiu. Not that he should even want that. This didn't erase your initial betrayal.

He grabs your hand and gives it a brief squeeze before standing up and pulling his sweats back into place.

"I'll try to be out of your hair as soon as possible tomorrow. Thanks for letting me crash," he says, keeping it simple.

The look in your eyes says you want to say more. You want him to stay so you can talk. But you don't say anything. Partially because Shiu's here and you wanted the conversation to be private, partially because you don't think you deserve the last word.

So you just watch him go. Shiu nuzzles into your neck from the side, pressing a few more kisses to the heated skin. You lazily return the affection, exchanging tender gestures until he pulls you close and starts to drift off.

Now it's your turn to lie there in silence and stare at the ceiling. The burning ache has migrated from Toji's sternum to your own. It keeps you locked in place on the bed, stiff as a board with Shiu's relaxed one draped half on top of you. The feeling of his soft skin and warm limbs isn't enough to push out the guilt and regret.

You turn your head to the side, looking through the darkness of your room. The only thing that really manages to draw your attention is that the bedroom door is now fully closed.

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro imagine #toji fushiguro x you #shiu kong x reader #shiu kong x you #shiu kong smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk imagines #jujustu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut

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verysium · 1 year ago

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how bllk boys would react when u draw them, could either be rlly good or rlly SHIT u choose idk (plz include barou and the itoshi bros) 😊😊😊 i love you and ur works, and the way u write the boys and ur content makes me laugh fr, one of my fave bllk authors mwjahaja 😓 have a great day, ily:3 and the icks post made me smile like all of ur posts do!

thank you so much anon ♡ this ask had me contemplating very seriously, so apologies if it's a bit late:

sae is definitely awestruck in some way, even if he doesn't immediately show it. i think i talked about this in a previous headcanon, but he has a deep-seated admiration for artists who can grasp abstract concepts because he himself cannot. he would be somewhat flattered if you drew him since he's never considered his own appearance to be particularly inspiring. would be appalled if you considered him your muse. like....why? to him, his looks aren't anything of importance (clearly he is blind.) would probably say your drawing was inaccurate but then hang it up by his nightstand so he can look at it every night before he goes to sleep. if you're a full-time artist, he probably keeps a little stash of your gifts in a small box beneath his bed. sometimes if he's having a bad day or he lost a game, he goes back and flips through them just to make himself feel better. secretly loves the way you draw his bangs and the little swoop you do in your signature.

kaiser corrects every single detail in your drawing. stands behind you and gives you little pointers here and there. he should have an 8-pack, not a 6-pack. his jawline isn't sharp enough in your initial sketch. poses shirtless in front of you so that way you can encapsulate the full extent of his sexiness. shows off your drawing to every living creature in existence. "isn't he handsome?" like...🙄 yeah, michael we know. he's probably the hardest to draw because of his tattoo, so i think he genuinely appreciates it when you put in the effort to capture his intricacies. will never admit this but he's low-key proud of you and your talent (mostly just your ability to make him look good.)

rin is one of those people who doesn't understand hyperrealism. like why does he need a highly detailed sketch of his face when he can just take a photo and print it out? i don't think he understands art in general. probably despises modern art too. he'd take one look at a rothko painting and be like....i could draw this too...in my sleep. similar to sae, i feel like he's just numb to the sentimentality of gift-giving. doesn't understand why you would waste your time drawing a little picture of him, but it does make his heart feel strangely fuzzier, so maybe he'll keep it this one time. lo and behold, months later he now has a collection of your drawings he doesn't have the heart to throw away. refuses to let isagi or anyone see them because they're meant for his eyes only.

yukimiya has impeccable taste. in fact, he's probably an artist himself. i think it'd be cute if you both drew little sketches of each other throughout the course of your relationship. but neither of you ever knew until you gifted him your sketchbook for christmas, and he was like....guess what...i drew you too. thinks you're pretty even when you don't think so. sometimes when you're having a coffee shop date, he scribbles a portrait of you on his napkin because the sunlight hit your cheek just right in that moment, and the birds were chirping, and he fell in love all over again. i think it's also tragic that he's slowly losing his eyesight, so he won't be able to enjoy your drawings and the vibrant colors you infuse into them. that's why he treasures them even more. probably thumbs over the pages from time to time. memorizes every stroke and line.

isagi likes the way you always draw that little tuft of hair that sticks up on the top of his head. it looks like a cute little bean sprout. he pins your drawings up above his bed next to a polaroid of you two in germany. buys you a professional art set for your birthday. if you're a digital artist, he buys you a new tablet and stylus.

bachira adds his own doodles next to yours except he makes a chibi version of everything. always pesters you to include his little fangs. uses the boldest combination of colors. he would definitely be a messy artist. paint everywhere. fingernails perpetually stained a different color. you both draw during class, so when you two trade notebooks to actually study......there aren't any actual notes.

barou acts like he doesn't know what to do with your drawing of him but then the next day you visit his house, and he's already put your artwork in a fancy picture frame. refuses to let anyone else even stand within a ten meter radius next to it because he doesn't want their "nasty fingerprints" all over your beautiful masterpiece.

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aniesvision · 5 months ago

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dating? (matt sturniolo x f! reader)

warnings: lying, anxiety, panicking (nothing too bad), mostly just fluff

a/n: hi!! this one is just a cute little short fluff, it's translated from my wattpad account. friendly reminder: english is not my first language, i'm sorry if there's any mistakes ✨

synopsis: your friends were going to have Madison Beer as their next guest on their podcast and you were excited to meet her. Things take a different turn when, finally talking to her, you realize one of your friends lied to her.

colors: matt you nick chris madison ✨

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Just over two hours after entering the podcast studio, the three boys and the day's special guest, Madison Beer, appeared in the living room.

I had only arrived a few minutes ago and let myself in with the extra key that Nick had given to me once, considering how many times we went to each other's houses (he also have a key to my apartment).

I was practically family now. And, for that very reason, they accepted me only coming here today with the interest of getting to know Madison.

-Hi! It's so nice to finally meet you. -I smile excitedly as soon as I see the girl.

I was a big fan of her work, not the kind who followed every detail of her life or waited anxiously for news stories to find out when the new album was coming out, but the kind who listened to her songs from time to time and liked them. And also related with the lyrics.

Madison gives me a genuine smile, not waiting a second before pulling me into a hug, kindly greeting me and walking with me to the kitchen.

I showed her where the glasses and water were while the boys threw themselves down on the couch I was on earlier.

-The boys have told me a lot about you, especially Matt, you guys make such a cute couple. -She says with a big genuine smile, setting her empty glass on the counter.

-Huh? -I ask, confused. -What do you mean "couple"?

Madison spent her whole day with the guys. They decided to hang out before filming so it'd feel more natural. I haven't been able to talk to any of them yet, considering they were filming and I immediately went to talk to Madison when they were done.

I glance in the direction of the couch, seeing that Matt is looking at us suspiciously. Maybe he said we were dating for a reason, and I'll find out later, but for now I'm going to be the good friend who lies to get in on the act and help him out.

-Matt told me you guys are dating. And I'm sorry, I didn't know you had something, I have a friend who has a certain interest in him and I tried to help her, but neither of us are the type to destroy happy couples, so don't worry, it won't happen again.

Madison explains, making some gestures with her hands and I smile, trying to dispel the feeling of guilt that exuded from her face.

-Oh, it's okay, it's a recent thing, we haven't really announced it yet. -I answer, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. It's so hard to lie, specially about something like this and specially to THE Madison Beer.

-I understand, but now I know, and she knows, and I'm sorry again. -Madison says, but I can't answer as Matthew appears in the kitchen.

-Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? -The boy looks at me with a fake smile and pulls me by the wrist to his room, locking the door as soon as we enter.

He didn't even give me a chance to excuse myself, he just dragged me away from Madison.

-Matt, what the fuck was that? -I ask, disbelieving that I've been taken out of the conversation so abruptly.

I crossed my arms and looked at him in confusion, trying to understand his reaction. He seemed nervous and kept looking down, running his hand through his hair repeatedly.

-I don't know. -He replies, his voice low.

-Why did you tell her we're dating?

I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible, to show him that I wasn't angry, just confused. Annoyed, for sure, but mostly confused. I didn't want to make him feel bad in any way.

-Madison tried to give me her friend's number, and I don't know, I guess I panicked. -Matt rubs his eyes a little.

-If you didn't want to, you could've just said 'no' or 'I'm not interested'. -I uncross my arms, but continue to stare at him in confusion.

-I panicked. -He repeats, starting to play with the rings on his fingers.

I take a few steps forward and take a deep breath. I put my hand on his, squeezing it lightly and making him look at me.

-It's okay. -I smiled, trying to calm him down.

-Are you mad at me? -He asks, squeezing my hand tighter.

-Of course not. I was just confused, I still am, but I think the biggest problem isn't that you said it, it's that Madison is no longer the only one who knows about our "relationship" and maybe we need to talk about what to do now.

I keep making eye contact and standing close to him, not stepping back so he wouldn't think I was somehow mad at him. Matt and I have been friends for a long time, and we both show affection through touch, so hugs, holding hands, sleeping in the same bed and things like that, are normal. But it's always just friendly.

What's not so normal is hearing that he invented a relationship between the two of us so that he wouldn't have to dump a girl and for some reason during his moment of panic I was the person he thought of to say he was dating.

Although we have a very strong friendship, not just me and him, but me and his brothers, I understand that maybe I was a kind of easy answer because I was always there.

Part of me believes this theory, that it was just a mistake out of anxiety, nothing major. Part of me wants to believe that he feels something more.

It's not like I like him, or have a crush on him or anything. I don't feel anything other than friendship for him, I can't feel it.

He's my friend and he should probably just stay my friend.

He really is an amazing person, he's attractive, I can't deny that, he's funny, we have a lot in common, we get along well, I enjoy being with him and he would certainly make a great boyfriend.

But not for me, he doesn't see me that way.

He could've gotten someone's number, he could've gotten along with a nice person, and yet he preferred to lie and say he was dating me.

He preferred a fake relationship to the chance of something real.

He panicked, but why did he panic? It's not as if anyone would think it was that bad to be dumped, it's not. It happens all the time.

I don't know how I'd feel if he told me that he'd got the number of a new girl. That he's going out with her, that he likes her. I don't know how I'd feel if he had someone else in his life. Someone that's not going to be just a friend.

I should be happy, but I probably wouldn't.

It's Matt, after all. He's my best friend, he's the one who's with me in every situation, he's the person I want to be with in my days and rely on for every moment. That's Matt. And I love him with all my heart.

I don't want to distance myself if I know he has someone else with whom he's going to do all the things we do. And even more things we've never done, but in any case, the attention would be hers, it would all be for her.

And as selfish as it is, maybe I don't want that person to exist for him. I want to remain the focus of his attention.

-I don't know what to do. -He says, getting more anxious and pulling me out of my own thoughts, back to facing the situation.

-Matt, it's okay. -I put my hands on his face, forcing him to look at me as I spoke. -It's just a fake dating thing. It's not the worst thing in the world and we'll work it out together, okay?

Matt puts his hands on my hips, pulling me closer.

-I don't know if I want to lie anymore. I can't. I need to tell the truth. -He whispers, shaking his head repeatedly.

I put my arms around him, hugging him and feeling his rapid heartbeat as he tried to take a deep breath.

-Breathe, Matt, I'm here, and it's okay, it's going to be okay.

I keep squeezing his body and he squeezes mine back, only pulling slightly away to look me in the eye.

-I lied to Madison and I couldn't say "no" because I'd feel guilty accepting another girl's number knowing that there's only one girl in this world that I want. -His voice is just above a whisper, a little shaky but firm enough to show how serious he was about his words.

He placed his hand on my cheek, caressing it gently.

-Matt... -I try to say something, but I was so stunned with the confession that I couldn't.

-I lied because I'm in love with you and I do want to date you for real, I'm sorry, I should have just confessed all this before and avoided this situation, I'm really sorry, I'm an idiot.

I giggle at the way he said it. Matt has just confessed his feelings for me and he's so anxious that he looks like he's going to die at any second and I can only laugh. It's so silly. So stupidly silly, the way I've been shoving my feelings down the ground and he was out there lying that he was dating me because he feels the same. And neither of us though of talking about it before acting stupid.

-Then we don't have to do anything, silly. There's no fake relationship to unmask if it's real. -I smile, slipping my arms around his shoulders and getting even closer to him.

-Wait. Does that mean you feel the same? -He asks, his eyes widening in a mix of confusion and surprise.

Without thinking too much, I close the distance between us, bringing our lips together in a long affectionate kiss. We pull apart from lack of air and I smile with our faces still close.

-Do you want to be my girlfriend? Like, for real this time? -Matt asked, with our lips ghosting.

He had a smile on his face that immediately made me realize how much I am and always have been in love with him, I just never wanted to accept it.

-Of course I do. -I accept, with a smile.

He joins our lips in a kiss once more and leaves several kisses on my face, then on my neck and finally back on my lips.

-Matt, everyone's in the living room, we need to go back. -I giggle, with my eyes closed, still feeling kisses on my face with a smile.

-Yeah, you need to talk to Madison more, I forgot you came just to see her today. -He lets go of me, chuckling and taking my hand.

-It's not my fault she's perfect. -I laugh too, interlacing our fingers with a shrug and pulling us towards the bedroom door.

-You're the only one who's perfect for me. -Matt whispers in my ear before opening the door and pulling me into the hallway, his face completely red with a silly grin.

We sat down together on the couch next to Madison and I got back into talking to her again, about the podcast, her music, her day, what she liked to do and things like that. She's such a sweetheart and I was so happy to meet her that my heart was racing. Obviously not just because of that, but honestly this day is just full of surprises.

At some point, Nick and Chris got closer and joined in the conversation too and it was amazing to see how everyone was so comfortable talking to each other.

Madison seemed to be a great friend and I intended to keep her in my life.

While Nick asked about what we wanted to eat and they discussed seating options, Matt wrapped his arm around my shoulders and sank his head into my neck, leaving little kisses all around.

-You guys are so cute. -Madison draws the attention of the whole group to the two of us, making me feel a little embarrassed, but happy.

-It's normal, they're clingy, it's disgusting. -Nick comments, still not connecting the dots.

-Don't say this, Nick, every couple is clingy at first. I think it's cute. -Madison looks at me with a smile.

-COUPLE? -Nick and Chris yell together, confused, looking between everyone in the room.

I hear Matt's giggle, his face still nestled in the crook of my neck. He must have been as embarrassed as I was, but it was still funny.

-Yes, a couple, people who are dating and all that. I think we forgot to tell them. -I say, sarcastically, trying to stay serious and not burst into laughter as I nudge Matt.

-Dating? You two are dating? -Nick asks again, confused. He took turns looking between me and Matt, arching an eyebrow.

Chris was looking at us laughing and Madison was a little confused, but finding the whole thing just as funny. Then Matt lifts his face, showing his big smile and red face, pulls me closer, making me lay my head on his chest this time, and starts messing with strands of my hair before looking at his brothers.

-Yes, Nick, we're dating.

With that, he lifts my face by the chin and leaves a quick kiss on my lips. I could feel my heart beating faster, but Nick and Chris's reactions were so good that I couldn't pay attention to my nervousness.

-AND YOU TOLD MADISON FIRST?! -Nick looks at us indignantly.

-I didn't mean to, but yeah, I guess. -Matt comments, shrugging and running his free hand over the back of his neck.

-Since when? -Chris asks, pointing at the two of us.

Matt looks at me in slight despair. We needed to be cautious not to seem like he lied to Madison too.

-It's recent, we'll tell you the details later, where are we going to eat now? I'm hungry. -I say, trying to change the subject.

And it worked, everyone went back to discussing where to go out to eat and forgot the information about our recent relationship, which was more recent than they could ever know.

-Thank you. -Matt whispers in my ear and I smile in response, snuggling closer to him and enjoying the moment.

I certainly could never have imagined Matthew with anyone else, and I'm glad I realized it in time. It'd be painful to see him with another girl.

tags 💕

@riowritesitall

#fanfic #youtube #imagine #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #romance #chris sturniolo #matt x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #fluff #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #madison beer #sturniolo imagine

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poppy-metal · 5 months ago

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the reader dbf patrick stepdaddy art is DIABOLICAL and i need it RIGHT NOW actually. crying on patricks cock for the first time while art watches like, "im sorry, daddy, 'm sorry, just wanted it so bad, so so badly, you understand, right, you get it?" and the funny thing is, he totally does, because its patrick, yes, he gets it, more than anything he gets it, but this is wrong, isn't it? this is wrong and fucked up and evil, but you're reaching for his belt with wide, wet eyes, begging, "can make it up to you, daddy, can make you feel real good, please, 'm sorry, let me show you how sorry i am" and his resolve just has to crumple.

(obviously there has to be about six million years of YEARNING in between but you know. the horny.)

-kit ♡♡♡

@gamesetart ur sick for enabling me. i slowed things down a little bc i was cooking but the outcome will probably eventually be this. LMAO

under a cut because like patrick, this is sending me straight to hell i fear.

skipping ahead a million years just to fuck stepdad!art who also happens to be patricks ex who hes never gotten over and has been friends with this whole time - maybe its his fault actually, that you fall in love with patrick at the tender age of 14 - because art loves him so much. hes around so much. like father like daughter, right? he might not be your dad by blood but he is in every other way that counts - he has full custody - your mom been out of the picture for awhile now. its almost like having two dad, growing up. you think art and patrick are closer than any two men you've seen before. but they date other women so you don't think much of it - you want art to be happy again. you dont blame him for leaving your mother, you're just happy he took you with him.

anyway - falling for patrick is inevitable - it burns inside you like a wildfire you have no chance of stopping, so you dont try.

and patrick..... maybe he's given up hope on art after all these years. they'd had something brief and tangible in college - but it'd fizzled out - art had pretended it didn't happen. and patrick loved art too much to press the issue. he'd been content to live forever being arts best friend and nursing a flame for him that would never be returned.

and then you'd come along - it'd been hell watching art get married - he never liked that bitch, anyway, for more reasons than sharing arts bed. she treated her kid like dirt. art even worse. it got to a point where the only reason art was staying around was for you - he couldn't leave you. you were just a kid. and art had only been with you for three years but it was enough. enough for him to love you. enough for him to martyr himself for you and stay in an unhappy marriage if it meant he could play the role of daddy for you.

it may have been him who planted the seed. he'd met you a few times by that point, but he remembers a pool party where you'd been sucking on a lollipop as you watched art work the grill - your mother somewhere inside - you were twelve then - old enough to have some brain cells, patrick figured.

"he'd make a good dad, dont you think?" he'd nudged you. "i mean look at him - already rocking the dad stance with a fucking polo to match. he'll be telling us it looks like a storms rollin' in any second now."

and you'd popped the lolly out of your mouth and showed him your teeth with your smile.

a raised brow. "really? does he know that? does your mother?"

"he already is my dad, though."

you'd frowned. stuck the lolly back in your mouth. he could tell he'd given your brain alot to think about that.

it was only a year later that the divore was finalized. and art was granted full custody of you as his daughter - full guardianship. patrick got him the hell out of that town shortly thereafter.

and that was it, really. that was the plan. just to live in peace. he didn't expect to grow so attached to you. to enjoy watching you grow up. to enjoy being there for your important milestones. he saw a bit of himself in you, too, that wild precociousness. that want to run free. saw how it fucking terrified art, who wanted nothing but the best for you after the life you'd had. always the hero.

so yeah, when you'd started your rebellious teen phase he'd helped you hide it. picked you up from parties when you couldn't drive home instead of calling your dad. because he didn't want to see art unhappy. he didn't want to see art look at you and see the patrick in you and hate it. he couldn't.

he didn't know you'd fall in love with him. he didn't.

and when he realized you had, he'd pushed you away. he had.

but the thing is - as much as you had patrick in you - you had art as well. your inherent kindness. your sweet open face. your determination and dedication. he saw it and then he couldn't unsee it. and as long as he'd held onto his love for art he was tired. he was fucking tired of being unloved and unwanted and here you were - a tether to art - his beautiful babygirl - and you were throwing yourself at him. loving him. wanting him. so fucking beautiful and innocent - just like art had been, all those years ago.

couldn't fault him for caving. he'd faught it, but patricks not a good man. and hes a stray dog at the end of the day, dirty and hungry and begging for scraps.

he fucking devoured you. took from you. took your virginity - just like he did your fathers - broke it on his cock and tried not to feel sick that the symbolic way your blood drenched his cock connected you and him and art in a way that was as holy and it was perverted. he fucked you and he fucked you and he fucked you. he had you whenever and wherever he wanted and he didn't allow himself to think about the consequences of it - because he was fucking greedy for it - you took everything he was and you bit into it and you bounced on his dick like he was a fucking god and he found himself falling in love all over again.

he'd find a way to tell art and make it right. he would.

but then there'd been that night when art asked him out for drinks and patrick would tell something was wrong. he'd been distant from art lately, if he was being honest, consumed completely by you. the only reason he was free was because you were at a friends.

when art had confessed he felt you pulling away the guilt had set in... because art looked so sad. so pathetic and lonely and patrick had never wanted this for art. his heart pitched and dropped in his chest and he couldn't tell art about you - not now -

and then art had looked at him and said "you know she reminds me of you -" and patricks lips had parted. the alcohol in his system warmed his blood, but so did the heavy weight of arts eyes on him. it was a look patrick hadn't seen in years. decades even.

It was how you looked at him.

hungry.

that's all patrick thought as art drew closer and closer to him. fuck, when art placed a hand on his thigh. fuck, when his cock twitched. fuck, when art said he missed those days back in college. fuck, when art leaned in and patrick didn't pull away.

fuck.

fuck again, when he came to and they were back at arts apartment - fuck when they passed your room and thank fuck you weren't home, thank fuck - fuck fuck fuck when art got on his knees and stroked patricks cock and patrick thought his first clear thought of the night -

fuck fuck and fuck again because he lost his mind a little when arts lips touched his. went a little dizzy with it.

fuck fuck fuck - because arts sinful pink mouth descended around him and he fucking moaned around it and in some twisted dark corner of patricks seedy mind he thought art must taste you on him - must know its you hes tasting and thats why he throats him deeper like a fucking whore.

i fucked her this morning. he's about to suck his daughter's pussy off my dick and he doesn't even fucking know -

patrick knows hes going to hell.

he knows it because he uses the same fingers he'd had inside your cunt to spread your dads ass open for the same dick he'd plunged into you - he knows hes going to hell because when he slides inside and art moans he thinks he sounds just as pretty as you do - they take me so fucking well - made for me - fucking made for me

and when he pulls out to come down and swallow arts cock down his own throat he moans when he thinks about kissing you later tonight with your fathers spunk on his tongue -

hes going to hell.

#ask #frens <3 #tw: incest #its stepcest technically but like.#just fucked up dynamics #patrick.... u are not seeing heaven #dbf!patrick

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cloudyskydreams · 2 months ago

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Confessing headcanons UT,UF,US!

This is not my favorite so far. Oh well though my internets spotty and I wanted to get something out while I know I have some. Reds is by far my favorite I love him sm. As always hope you enjoy!

Undertale:

Sans: It'd have to be you confessing. Sans has his insecurities and doubts and they would hold him back from confessing. He might make hints more known like more flirty jokes than normal and he's a bit more protective of you but he won't outright confess when crushing. If he does it's accidental and happens because he got too comfortable. He probably whispered it or said it too quite to hear all the way and you have to ask him to repeat himself. Que a joke while sweating.

If confessed to: He's a little shocked, are you…sure? He doesn't know what to say all jokes he's ever learned slip out the holes in his skull lost to the void. You probably have to break the silence by repeating yourself or assuring him you mean it and he tears up slightly. He never expected you'd actually like him back he's a little overwhelmed just let him ride it out and you can cuddle and kiss his tears away afterwards.

Papyrus: Very likely to confess first. He's a straightforward man he knows he's got feelings he's gonna share them! He plans it all out and definitely looks up a wikiHow or some other manual on the perfect date just because it helps him feel better prepared. He'd wait till a lull in the activities to confess maybe after dinner or after a movie. He's nervously waiting for your response but he's just happy he finally let you know how much he truly cares for you.

If confessed to: He's overjoyed!! He'll reciprocate and give you a big hug maybe a smooch on the cheek. He basically sweeps you away and says you have to celebrate with a date. He definitely takes a picture to celebrate this man scrapbooks.

Underfell:

Red: This dude confessing? Yeah right he believes he has absolutely zero chance with anyone and feels like that would be setting himself up for the ultimate failure. He's happy to live with his delusions and daydreams thank you very much. That doesn't stop accidents from happening and he might have said something a little too sweet about you. Something about how much he loves your laugh or something about your smile or eyes. He's sweating hoping you didn't catch it. He might even teleport out if your reaction is big enough.

If being confessed to: He's actually a little angry and defensive at first. He thinks you're playing a prank on him he doesn't understand. Out of everyone why him he's a piece of shit, pervert, couldn't raise his brother right, can't do anything right… He starts spiraling. Reassure him maybe with some light physical touch it'll help ground him. He'll calm down and play it off but keep showing you're interested and he'll come around.

Edge: Hes pretty straightforward with it all. He thinks that's the best way to get it done. He invites you over for a home cooked meal because why settle for less than the best when he's trying to impress someone. Not that he should have to try to impress you he naturally does he reminds himself to ease his anxiety. He's definitely not extremely anxious over this whole thing. He presents the meal to you and takes compliments in pride they also help soothe this anxiety. Once the meals over he'll confess offering you your favorite flowers. He's blushing a carmine red and is struggling to maintain eye contact.

If confessed to: Takes it in stride. Of course you would have affections for someone as great and terrible as him. He's blushing and screaming internally but don't point out the blush or he'll deny it and sweep you away. He declares since you're in a relationship it's important you stay by his side so other monsters know not to mess with you. He likes feeling like he's protecting you even if it's just being in your company.

Underswap:

Stretch:He's worked himself up for this hella. He's a little nervous because if he's actually into you it's a whole nother ballpark. He's a bit of a flirt that's for sure but he's not used to anything besides flirting and lustful glances and stuff romance is something else entirely. He sets up a cute scenario maybe finds a way to play you his guitar because he's a dork and he'll stutter a bit while confessing.

If being confessed to: Is super happy and sweeps you into a hug. This takes the pressure off of him to do it and he's honestly flattered someone would confess to him. Impressed you had the balls to do what he was struggling with. He wants to celebrate with a game night at his house and he excitedly tells his brother what happened that night.

Blue: He's got it all planned out. He asks you on a date he'll know you'll be most comfortable on and actually enjoy. Dresses up slightly and gets you one of your favorite flowers. The date goes smoothly and he confesses at the end when taking you home after telling you he had a goodnight. He hopes you'll accept and if you do you get a cheek kiss and a very happy Blue. He definitely blogs about it later on

If being confessed to: He's impressed you beat him to he, he's quick with it once he realizes you return his affections. He happily accepts and smooches your cheek while pulling you into a hug. A sleepover is a must and he invites you back home so he can cook dinner and you guys can have an at home date.

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compressingsins · 1 year ago

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|| The Unexpected

Yandere Ushijima! x Chubby f!reader

Warnings : Obsessed Toshi, jealousy, forced sexual contact, forced orgasms, slightly OOC Ushijima, both reader and Ushijima are 18 y/o, (this is a forced lemon, please proceed with caution). Minors, please don’t interact.

"You act as if you do not recognize my feelings for you—I am in love with you, and graduation is almost here, meaning you'd be gone in a bit. However, I could not let that happen, letting you out of my grasp. You are mine, ____, I am here to claim you.��

Requested by; Anonymous

Please do not copy or rewrite my works without my permission. 🫥

"Ohhhh yeah! Graduation is nearly here, only a couple of days away!"

You were so excited, walking the halls of Shiratorizawa with your friend, also a volleyball player of the team. Shirabu, who was just as excited as you were, even if his calm demeanor didn't really express it, his smile said it all. You were nearly a straight A student, and having the opportunity to walk across that stage made you all the more excited, nearly cheering as you walked. "Yeah! I can't believe how fast these years went by. I also can't believe we won't be seeing each other, as much."

It was an understatement to say that you would be seeing them, as much as you do now, considering you're going out into adulthood to start your own lives. It bummed you out a little, in all honesty, but a quick smile pulled to your lips as you pat Shirabu on his back twice, for he was looking down a little saddened. You two always hang out so you could understand how he felt. "Don't worry, Shirabu! I'll make sure to keep in contact, with you and the others. I'll make sure to text you, at least fifty times a day!"

He could only smile, your bright personality always seeming to calm his nerves. A nod of his head showed that he was taking you seriously, knowing that you'd literally text him fifty times a day. Possibly even more, if you've got the time to do so. If you could add one more year to your high school education with him, you would honestly, if that meant you could still see him everyday but it is what it is.

You couldn't be in school forever, but you're really ready for college, having already made your choice. Since you were the manager of Shiratorizawa and a third year, this year was your last so you had a choice, and your choice was to attend a college. You didn't know where everyone on the team was going or what they've planned on doing after graduation, but you knew some like Ushijima would be staying in volleyball.

You honestly didn't know what Shirabu was planning on doing, so you looked at him, raising an eyebrow which made him turn to you with a confused expression and a hum of question. You weren't insulting him though, just really curious. "What are you doing after graduation, Shirabu? I don't think you've told me, honestly."

He looked at you for a moment, as if he was thinking just before his eyes went to the floor whilst answering your question. "Well, at first I didn't know, but I think I still want to play volleyball. I don't know what college I'll be going to though, but hopefully one with the best volleyball teams. A powerhouse team, just like our Shiratorizawa team was. It'd be awesome, if you could still be my college teams manager, though."

You lit up at the idea, but you had no clue as to which college he wanted to attend. It'd be awesome if you could be his manager, but it'd be different if the entire team was different, meaning you would have to meet an entire bunch of new people. Yes, you had to do that with Shiratorizawa, but they were more welcoming and open to you, which easily formed a bond with them.

If you tried being a manager with a college team, they may not be as nice, but it's just a thought. Plus, that's the same thought you had when you first became the manager of Shiratorizawa, thinking they wouldn't like you but honestly, they freaking loved you. None of them would shut up about you having to leave, well Ushijima didn't really seem to care, honestly. It bothered you a bit, however, you weren't going to tell him though.

You scratched that thought, returning your gaze to the bowl cut male, beside you. You realized you didn't reply to him, smiling to shake off your thought of Ushijima. Shirabu was really your bestfriend, so if he would miss you, then you were okay with everything else for now. Plus, you knew that everyone on the team was busying themselves with getting ready to leave the academy, so you didn't complain too much about it.

"Well Shirabu, we'll just have to see which college we'll be going to. I wouldn't mind being your manager, so I'll think about it! But, let's hurry, I know the team is waiting!"

"Yeah, right!" You two were on the way to the gym, as your team was doing one more team practice game, just before you were released into the real World. You of course wouldn't participate in the practice game, more like just cheer them on and enjoy your last game together, before your leaving.

Your grumpy old coach let you decide this, considering that when it came to you, he wasn't as explosive as he was with the guys. Everyone just all around adored you, as your calm demeanor and personality tended to sooth the tension between anyone, which they loved. It didn't matter how bad games gotten, even if that never really happened, you were always the one to say something to keep them going. You were the kind of manager to never lose hope on your team, no matter how many points you were behind, you'd always have something to say that would boost their confidence, bringing home the win.

It wasn't long before you two made it to the gym, the sound of shoes screeching on the floor sounding throughout the gym, and flowing into the hallway. You were so excited to see your team, since you didn't get to see them the other few days, as you were setting up the graduation ceremony. Some of it, at least. Your face lit of with a smile that was nearly brighter than the sun, seeing as your entire team turned to you with a smile, running at you which made you flinch a bit as they called out your name whilst charging at you. They looked so big, coming towards you...

"____!!!!"

All of them was running at you with open arms, causing you and Shirabu to freeze, your lips twitching thinking that you were about to get tackled to the ground. Well, they stopped once you all heard it. Heard him... you'd rather say...

"Hey! Sit your lazy asses down, and let ____ in the gym! For crying out loud, she just got here, give her some damn space!"

"Sorry Coach!"

You should've known your coach was going to say something, but it relived you that he did, considering your size compared to your teammates. They still proceeded to approach you, but more calmly this time, big smiles etched across their faces as you hugged all of them, one by one. Still though, Ushijima was the only one who didn't approach you, but you weren't really focused on that right now, just so you could catch up with your friends right here. You lastly hugged the little Goshiki, he always managed to brighten your day, and you really hoped he'd become the new Ace, of the team. He was that good, to you.

"Do you really have to go, ____?! I'm gonna miss you so much!"

"Okay Goshiki..."

You chuckled a bit, trying to calm him as he layed his head on your shoulder, both his arms around you which instinctively made your arms wrap around him, in return. You found him so cute, and his personality even cuter, considering that he always tried impressing you when he's playing, on the floor agaisnt other teams. You'd cheer for him, of course, but that didn't mean you didn't cheer for your other teammates.

He was so dramatic, with you, resting his head on your shoulder as he cried, real or fake you didn't know. You just chuckled, stroking his dark hair as his sobs only seemed to get louder, but you distracted yourself as you looked to another one of your teammates. His brownish orange hair catching your attention, you releasing the hold on Goshiki to hug Taichi as well.

"I'll be sure to visit you all, once I get settled into my college. Since I've already been accepted, y'know."

"Yeah totally, just make sure I'm the first one you visit."

"Nu uh, she's gonna visit me first!"

You could only smile as they tried debating on who'd you get to see first, who you honestly couldn't choose. However though, you always had an idea, one that you suggested to them almost immediately, smiling it out as you said it.

"Guys, how about my first week in college, we all get together and do something?! Or before the graduation ceremony, we could probably do a little get together, before we officially leave the academy?" They seemed to love the idea, all smiles appearing on each one of their faces, but one and that's Ushijima who decided to join the group, without you even noticing. He was quiet too, but he was listening in on everything you were saying with the team, and he wasn't really enjoying what he was hearing.

Low groans were coming from him, groans of disappointment and disapproval, but of course no one could hear them. His eyes were glazed over with slight anger, narrowed as he eyed you down, listening closely on what you were saying. He could feel the anger in his chest boiling, tightly straining the muscles in his arms, containing him from striking blows at something.

He didn't want anyone else hanging around you, but him and only him, that's why he was more quiet than usual. But once you glanced at him, you smiled and walked up to the taller male, his eyes softening as he looked down at your shorter figure, your arms extending to offer the male a hug. He doesn't give hugs, but to everyone and your surprise, he engulfed you in his arms, a genuine hug as he placed both hands on your back.

Considering the height difference, Ushijima had to bend down a bit, just to get a full embrace on your body. You melted into the hug though, but as it concluded, everyone was silent, more out of shock and surprise. For some reason however, the hug felt different... like something that you've never experienced before, but it was a good feeling. A feeling that you kind of didn't want to get rid of, a slight tint of pink ghosting over your cheeks, faintly.

His scent was causing your hold on his body to tighten, as he smelled of a bit of sweat and faint cologne, from an earlier time. You didn't want to seem weird or anything, so you tried releasing the embrace, but Ushijima wouldn't let go. Not yet, at least. You could hear the teasing words of your friends around you, and the gasps of some who were befuddled with the whole ordeal.

"Woooow, Ushiwaka! I never expected to see the day, you went soft for some girl." The red haired middle blocker, Satori Tendou, commented as his lanky body dramatically moved to insinuate his words. Your face was flushed blood red, by now, thinking the thumping of your heart could be felt on Ushijima's chest. He was so close as he held you flush agaisnt his body, which didn't sooth your nerves at all.

He did however loosen his hold on you and let you go, once he heard the voice of his bestfriend. You stood off to the side, patting the side of your thighs as your eyes trailed to your legs masked with black tights, then trailed to your feet to try and relieve the fast beats of your pulse, that was beating quickly with embarrassment. Ushijima stared at Tendou without a concern in the World, as what he just did to you was on purpose. He wanted everyone to see him do that, wanting everyone to know just who exactly you'd be giving your last and only hugs to. He wasn't going to speak on that though, only staring at Tendou with that usual bored look of his.

"____, isn't just some girl, Tendou."

His bland and short answer was to be expected, but it still made your heart pound agaisnt your ribcage. He was always this way so you were used to it, though everyone began to clear out as the two spoke, but with you still off to the side. You couldn't believe your friends, including Shirabu, left you in the middle of this conversation.

"You're right, she's a special girl. A really special girl, that I know you're soft for."

You didn't know if Ushijima was getting upset or not, but you began to slightly panick as Tendou proceeded to talk. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Ushijima being soft for you, but you didn't want him to get upset with that, as you don't really think that you're Ushijima's type. As bold as he is, he was possibly about to crush your self esteem, anyway. Standing between the two, you chuckled to try and brush off the conversation, averting your gaze between the two males. It's not like you were disappointed in Ushijima not liking you or whatever, you just didn't want to hear those kinds of words coming from his mouth. If you didn't know any better, you would probably say that Tendou is doing this on purpose, honestly.

"Hey guys, how about we just-"

"No, he is correct, ____," Ushijima looked down at you, his words penetrating your chest and causing a gasp to escape your parted lips, "You are indeed, a very special girl, to me."

"And it's unlike the great Ushiwaka to confess, something like this, wouldn't you agree too, ____?"

Honestly, you would and you did agree with that. Never have you ever heard him say something like this and hearing him say this to you, made it all the more unbelievable. It made you smile though, knowing that Ushijima did in fact care, to some extent which you didn't know how much but it was a good start. It may have started too late though, considering you're graduating in a few days. "I guess you're right, Tendou. Didn't think you'd be saying anything like that, about me, y'know."

Ushijima's deadpan facial expression was still unreadable, as he was looking down at you, but you weren't complaining about what he said. It was kinda nice actually, and you really appreciated what he said, since you thought that he didn't necessarily care for you? In the beginning. He's just so put together and private that you didn't know anything, so it was reasonable as to why you'd think that. He rarely even conversates with you anyway, so that's another reason you didn't think he was really interested in talking to you, or whatnot.

Whenever you two do talk though, he's always replying with the shortest statements, sending awkward tension between you two. At least you found those moments awkward, as you would always try engaging in a conversation with him, whenever you had a chance, but it gets shut down quickly. You were still his manager for now, though, but in your mind you would hope he considers you as his friend, as well. There was no telling what was going on in that mind of his, as he never exactly expressed himself, not to you at least. That's just who he is and you don't judge him for that, having accepted that when you first were introduced.

"Expect the unexpected, ____."

That was the last thing Ushijima said, just before he turned tails to proceed with team practice. You watched him walk away, gulping a bit as it nerved you for some reason, because you honestly wish he would sit down and converse with you sometimes like your other friends, on the team.

You weren't going to force him though, especially since you know that this is just how he is, and you didn't mind him being that way. If he didn't want want to open up and talk to you one on one, you honestly didn't mind, but you would at least like to know where he stands with you. Is he your friend, or what..? You didn't know that and you wanted to ask, but you were a little too shy when it came to being around Ushijima, by yourself. Just because he's... well, a little awkward and you didn't want to say or do anything that'll potentially make him upset, with you.

"Well right now, we should probably just practice and enjoy our time, before it's over. Y'know ____, just like he said, expect the unexpected." You narrowed your eyes at the red haired male, he shrugged as he began trailing over to the rest of the team. You just followed behind him, but your mind was so focused on what Ushijima said about you, but you weren't upset about it. It just surprised you, in all honesty as it was unexpected.

He's just never seemed interested in talking with you or anything, so you were curious if what he said was true or not. As usual, Ushijima's whole vibe was unreadable, but you also would think that he wasn't the type to joke like that. Seeming as he's always serious, well that's what it looks like. That was something you totally didn't expect, so you could agree with both their words... expect the unexpected.

You were super bummed that practice seemed to end fast, your teammates already leaving which kept you in the gym, as you always tended to clean up after matches. Everyone was tired so you didn't mind cleaning up by yourself, the silence making you feel at peace with yourself. It was nearly clean already, as you're currently taking down the net to place it back into the storage room, finishing it up easily by yourself.

The sound of shoes walking towards the exits notified you that you were alone, waving at your friends that were leaving. After this though, you'd have to finish helping set up the graduation ceremony, but you didn't mind it to be honest. Considering you've got the opportunity to walk across that stage and officially become an adult, it exicted you so much that you didn't mind helping set up everything for the ceremony. You were putting away the net and some volleyballs, along with the brooms you've used to clean up the gym. You were carrying them all at once, which made some fall from your hands, you having to put some down to get the ones that had fallen upon the floor. The only thing you could hear was yourself sighing, that's until you heard footsteps behind you followed by a deep voice, one that you recognize from your team.

"____."

Firstly you turned your head, setting eyes upon the source that called out your name. The tall olive haired male, Ushijima was in your presence once again, and alone which almost instantly caused you to become awkward. You began dropping everything, tripping over things, trying to calm yourself as your nerves went into overdrive, filling with unintentional tension. You kept saying sorry as you tried straightening your act up, but you didn't even realize that Ushijima found your actions cute. He wouldn't say that, however, continuing to stare at you with lightly tinted cheeks, both his hands balling into fists as he tried to contain himself. This was his moment, and he didn't know how to approach it, but he was thinking as he watched you.

One last object made you trip, falling on your bottom with your legs crossed, which embarrassed you. You sighed, just before helping yourself up knowing that he wouldn't, but it was okay. Using both your hands, you maneuvered your hands behind your back and down to your bottom, brushing off the little dirt and dust that managed its way on you as you fell. "Uh, I'm sorry about that! Hopefully, you can unsee that," A string of chuckles escaped you, awkward and embarrassed chuckles that Ushijima could easily catch onto but you proceeded to talk, questioning him. "Anyway, why are you still here? Everyone else already left, probably... twenty minutes ago."

"I am well aware of that, ____."

Instantly, your eyebrow arched up, confused and questioning him once again in your head. Everyone on the team was already gone except him, and you had no idea what else would make him stay. You clean up here by yourself nearly everyday, and the Ace has never stayed behind for you, as he was usually one of the first ones gone.

"Okay, then why are you still here?"

"Can I not stay behind, to accompany you, ____?"

It wasn't a bad idea, but you didn't like it for whatever reason. His bland facial expression always confuses you, leaving you bothered and concerned for whatever he was thinking. You just hoped you weren't upsetting the taller male, not knowing if he was actually capable of getting upset or not, considering that you've never seen it. But it was weird that he wanted to stay behind and keep you company, obviously he's not the type to do that. You weren't going to complain about it though, because you didn't know what triggered the male, or what would make him upset with you so you just decided to go along with it. Letting this situation flow like water, clearly.

"Well sure, you can."

Nothing else was said from him, but his body walking over to you, his shadow covering your entire figure. It was so awkward and silent, you didn't even know what to do nor say, as you could feel the males body heat on your back. Hesitantly, you looked behind you seeing as the olive haired male was standing really close to your body. He was like two or three feet away, and it was still uncomfortable to you no matter how many feet. You tried your best not to think much of it, but you couldn't help it, considering that you aren't very fond of people in your personal space. However, you didn't know what to say to Ushijima, him of all people was the most intimidating to you.

He's so quiet, big, and awkward to you and that's something you really didn't know how to deal with, as mostly all your friends aren't like this. Still though, you didn't judge him, but the intense look in his eyes made your entire body stiffen. He always looked like this, but that stare of his was practically making you shake to the bone. If he was here to talk to you, you didn't know but you stood up straight, standing completely in front of the male. Considering his height, you had to crane your head upwards to look him in the face, as that cold stare of his seemed to intensify. You didn't want to be here right now, for some reason, but you weren't going to say exactly that. "Um... I have to go... help with the graduation ceremony."

He didn't seem bothered by what you said, his large body standing in your way, blocking you from walking around him to leave. You were so confused, your eyes a little wide whilst staring at the male, who didn't even attempt to move away to let you leave. The tension in the small storage room was getting more intense, your heart thumping harshly agaisnt your chest. It was until you heard him say something, snapping you out of your trance.

"You are not going anywhere." The venom in his voice caused your body to tremble, as he seemed to be more serious than usual. His body turning and his arms reaching to close the door freighted you even more, and it made you more scared that you didn't know what the hell he was doing. You didn't want to stick around and find out, though.

"Ushijima, what are you doing? I gotta go help with the-"

"What you're going to do, is stay here and help me."

You weren't going to do that, at least it was in your plan, you shrugging off your fear to try and walk around the taller male. He easily blocked your way with a single step, once again in your full view, your eyes going up to the males face. He was still looking down at you, his eyes still dark and intense which brung your fear back. You had no idea what he wanted, and the click sound of the storage room door scared you more, indicating that he looked you both in there. It was honestly scaring you and pissing you off a bit, not knowing what he had in store drove you crazy, because this was also a bit creepy. What in the World could the great Ushiwaka need help with?

"Um... wha—what do you need help with?"

He didn't answer you, not verbally at least, but visually when he began approaching you. His hands went to your arms, holding you down which made you begin panicking. Why was he manhandling you, his grasp on your arms really tight which didn't really give you room to struggle. He was only staring at you, with his usual calm face but that didn't better the situation. You just wanted to leave, but he wasn't allowing you to wiggle out of his grip. Everytime you moved though, his hands on your arms tightened, nearly breaking your bones at the moment.

"If you struggle against me, I will not be gentle with you." Your eyes widen and your body went stiff, the males grip on you loosening but he didn't let you go. You were beyond petrified with his statement however, because what in the fuck does that mean? You honestly didn't know and you weren't eager to find out, just to be honest with yourself. "You act as if, you do not recognize my feelings for you." That sentence caused a sharp gasp to escape your lips, did you hear that right? "I am in love with you, and graduation is almost here, meaning you'd be gone in a bit. However, I could not let that happen, letting you out of my grasp. You are mine, ____, I am here to claim you."

What the hell? You were confused as shit, as you've never heard Ushijima talk like this, not in your presence at least. Whatever this was, you weren't interested in it, because you were more scared than excited to see what he had in mind. You just wanted to go because something about this situation, did not feel right at all, but you couldn't pinpoint it. "What do you mean by, you're here to claim me? Listen Ushijima, I really don't have time-"

His grasp on you tightened, pulling your body flush against his bigger build, your eyes nearly popping out of your head as you felt a stiff object against your thigh. Was this some kind of sick joke, or is this what he meant by he needed your help with something? You honestly didn't know, but you still weren't interested in knowing.

"You are mine. I have been in love with you, far too long and you have yet to realize my feelings, for you. Never have I ever felt this way for someone. You are not going anywhere, until I claim what is mine. No matter if you were to graduate, I'd follow you as I've already planned. Though, our earlier conversation, with Tendou, made me want you even more. I see how my teammates look at you, that is why I'll be claiming you here and now."

Still though, some fight electrified your veins, pushing some courage back into your body as you once again tried wiggling out of his grasp. Your movement was just making the male groan deeply, your thigh was rubbing against the hard muscle agaisnt you. He welcomed that, honestly. "Are you crazy, Ushijima?! Let me go, before I tell coach!"

"We are close to graduating and adulthood, meaning he can no longer tell me what to do, nor you. You can struggle all you want, you will be mine." In an instant, his hands were on your clothes, snatching them away from your body, your tights being the first thing to go. You were panicking now, trying your best to scream but who would hear you? Everyone left already so there was no one who could come save you, from this man.

"What the- what the hell, Ushijima?! Let me fucking go!-"

"If you keep struggling, it will just get worse for you. I will not take you gently, if you keep fighting me with this."

You still tried pushing him away, as you didn't hear the words he just stated. His hands tore your tights completely off just before one of his hands went to your chest, ripping your shirt open, the buttons flying in different directions. Your bra was on full display to the male, as your insecurities began to arise but he didn't seem to care. His right hand was fondling your breast, and your hands began trying to pry his hands off your body, but his left hand easily took both your hands in his to pin above your head. All you had was your legs to kick at him, but those kicks were doing absolutely nothing to him. His grip on your wrists were tight, and all you wanted to do was scream.

He was staring at your chest, the fabric covering it making his body even hotter than it already was. Your chest was heaving quickly, his eyes slowly trailing to your face but he didn't say anything, and you ceased your kicking once he did. You both were locked in each other's gaze, and it made all the fear in your body rise again. His right hand was removed from your body, going to his own and to the hem of his shorts, pulling them down which made you panick. He didn't seem to care about your reaction, his eyes still focused on you as he pulled them down. You weren't even sure if you were dreaming or not, because this did not feel real, at all.

"Ushijima! Stop, what are you doing?!"

His hand continued pushing his shorts down, until they fell to his ankles and upon the floor before he stepped out the holes of the shorts. The boxers that were restraining him did little to cover him up, and it made you panick even more. This wasn't right, as you two are still in school no matter how close graduation was.

His hand that was on the hem of his boxers stayed there, calming your heaving chest and beating heart, but it didn't sooth the situation. Your insides were screaming at you right now, your brain punching you to fight this man off of you. It's obvious that you aren't going to like what he was planning, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know. "You belong to me and I belong to you. After this happens, you will not be able to leave me."

"Why didn't you just ask me out, like a logical person would, Ushijima?!"

He paused from your outburst, and you did as well, since you were the type to not really raise your voice. His hand on his boxers slid them down a bit, riding a little under his v line, but you refused to look at what he was doing. He didn't seem to care for how you felt in this situation.

"As close as you and Shirabu are, I know what his real intentions were."

You gasped, eyes wide listening to the words of Ushijima. You didn't speak though, just listening to him continue with what he had to say about Shirabu, your bestfriend. If Shirabu had a secret he was keeping from you, you sure as hell haven't even heard of it, didn't even have a hint of it. "He has told me that he would ask you on a date, after graduation. I refuse to let him have you, for I know you would not deny his feelings. It is clear that you love Shirabu, when you should be loving me. You belong to me."

Of course you love Shirabu, but you didn't know what level of love it was on. You didn't even know Shirabu loved you, as much as Ushijima said and you believed him because, when has Ushijima lied? You can't recall, even if you tried but you still would've preferred him just asking you out.

You know you wouldn't reject Shirabu, so all Ushijima would have to suffer was a rejection, but he's attractive enough to get someone else so that's why it confused you. Out of everyone. "Why do you want me, out of everyone in this school I mean... I'm nothing special, I'm just your manager! There are girls who are way slimmer and prettier, than me!"

You hated admitting that, but you knew it was true and that's why you said it, because you needed to know why he wanted you of all people. It's okay that he finds you attractive, but this wasn't what you should do, if you wanted to show someone that you found them attractive. He still didn't seem to care about what you were saying, his eyes burning holes in your skull as if he was seeing right through you. This would be the last thing you'd expect him to do to you, and it really confused you as to why he was doing this, because he was supposedly in love with you. You listened to his words though, as he spoke.

"I told you before, that you are special to me. No other girl could compete with you, ____. Skinny or not, your weight is what attracts me to you. Besides your personality, how you tolerate me even if you know how I am. It is obvious that people get annoyed by my ways, but you do not seem to care. That is why I want you and only you."

His hands pushed his boxers completely down before you could say anything else, your eyes widening once that stiff organ bounced out and stood at attention. You gasped, really getting a feel on the entire situation and once he brushed the tip agaisnt you and he was still standing some parts away from you, it really showed you how big he was.

Way bigger than you would've imagined, and it scared you as you realized what was about to happen. He didn't just have extreme length, but major girth that seemed a little too heavy for him to carry around all the time, the twitching veins intimidating you. Also the amount of leaking pre-cum scared you. In an instant, you were on your back on the mats that they use sometimes in the gym, to rest. Your hands were still pinned above your head though and when he flipped your skirt up to lay agaisnt your stomach, you once again tried kicking at him. He easily slid his body between your legs, his length too resting on your abdomen.

You froze, feeling his balls agaisnt your covered heat, your legs ceasing and your body stiffening once you felt the heavy cock resting on you. He was staring down at you as you were staring up at him, his eyes holding nothing but want and need for you. You've never done this before, so that's why it scared you more. It didn't take long for him to push himself back off of you with your hands still in his hand, just so he could push your panties aside and pull back enough to grip his throbbing cock. A sharp gasp escaped you, your legs beginning to kick once again, but it wasn't bothering Ushijima. You just wanted to reason with him, at least try to because he was obviously not stopping.

"Wait wait, Ushijima!” He ceased his movements, as his eyes trailed back to your distressed face. You were relived, thinking he was actually giving you a bit of mercy. "You don't have to do this! We can just... just go on a date, and see how it goes! We can both just forget that this ever happened!"

"I am afraid that I cannot do that, nor do I trust your words that you won't tell anyone."

"Ushijima please-!"

He cut you off with a harsh penetrating thrust into your body, the wind being knocked out of you as your hymen snapped. You practically screamed out, but he used his right hand to cover your mouth, his own eyes and teeth closing shut from the tight hold you had on his thick cock. The other thing is that he wasn't even all the way inside of you, but he was still pressing agaisnt your cervix, which soothed the pain by a lot, your cunt spasming violently around the thick cock lodged inside of you. He was panting heavily as both his hands went to your hips, trying his best to push himself deeper inside you.

Your back arched so much into the male, allowing his cock to slide in easier but slowly which caused a slight burning feeling. He was pushing past your cervix, placing himself inside your womb until his hips were flush agaisnt yours. He thrusted once, before you nearly cried out, your walls clamping around his length, gushing out around it to coat his abdomen and thighs. He was confused, until he looked down to see your pussy convulsing and squirting on him, your body shaking which notified him of what he did to your body. He just made you cum from entering you, barely doing anything which made the male crazily smirk. His grip on your hips tightened, slowly pulling out before thrusting harshly back in, his cock easily kissing your cervix.

Your hands were trying to find anything to hold onto, since Ushijima was sitting up and rapidly thrusting deeply inside your overstimulated pussy. Deep grunts and groans came from the male, his hands grabbing yours to put them on his shirt, your hands instinctively gripping it as he picked up his pace, the obscene squelching sounds meeting your ears. There was barely any pain, his cock hungrily trying to get all your juices to coat him, his eyes looking down at your joined bodies watching as your sheen coated him. He let his head fall back, thunderous moans escaping his chest from how tight you were. Water was trickling from your eyes, warming your cheeks in an onslaught of pleasure that your lower regions were recieving.

"Fuck..! You're so tight for me ____, I love you..! Keep squeezing my cock, just like that—ngh!" You could barely focus on his deep voice, for another orgasm was winding in your abdomen, Ushijima's thrust were so intense and strong that it had the mats underneath you nearly sliding you off of it. His hands went to your legs, pulling them agaisnt his body as both his hands slammed on the sides of the floor, trapping you underneath his body.

In this position, his cock seemed to push pass your cervix, fucking into your womb which made the male growl like a beast. One of his hands went to your hip, holding you there whilst he fucked down into your weeping pussy, his huge cock opening you so wide to his cock. The feel of his balls smacking your ass had you screaming his name, the male grunting in your face. “Ushi..!"

You couldn't even get his name out, each pounding smash of his hips agaisnt yours keeping your words in and letting your moans out. Both your eyes were closed tightly, all that was heard was your synchronized moans and your individual screams. It wasn't long before your second orgasm broke, your grip on his shirt pulling him down on your body. "Wakat..! Ushi..!"

You didn't know what you were saying, the male still pounding into you, but slowly as your walls securely took a grip on his thick shaft, keeping him almost trapped inside you. It took so much effort for him to pull out, his grip on your waist becoming painfully tight but you couldn't respond to that.

You were so tight that it nearly pained him, an unexpected deep moan escaping him while his hips slowly continued to sink inside of you, your body shaking and your head against his chest to conceal your screams and shameful moans. The male slowly fucked into you, letting you ride out the parties of paradise enhanced in your pussy. Your eyes were burning with overstimulated tears, a white coat of your cum coating his cock in a ring of your juices, that now belonged to him. You couldn't believe how good he was making you feel, but you still didn't want it to be this way, losing your virginity in such a forceful way.

Once his hips came to a stop, he pulled out and layed you on your stomach, on the mats you were currently layed on your back. You couldn't do anything, as he once again lined his throbbing length up with your spasming pussy. He didn't waste anytime with sheathing himself balls deep into you again, your body screaming almost. He didn't even give you time to recover from your orgasm, his hands going to your hips as he pulled you back with his aggressive thrust. He seemed to hit deeper in this position, your walls feeling the thick veins protruding his length, but his thrusts weren't as hard as they were the first time.

They still kissed your cervix sweetly though, his balls now smacking your clit that was already overly stimulated and leaking with your own juices. His hands went to your front half, pulling you up and forcing your body to arch into his thrust, now his cock sweetly caressing your g-spot. His hands were placed on your throat, his eyes looking down to where he was entering your body from, loving the sight of your small pussy trying to eat up his cock. It was kind of hard for him to thrust back into your body, but when he did, it felt like absolute heaven to not only you, but him too. "I'm coming..! I'm coming, ____! I want you to take it all..!"

You began panicking, but you couldn't get out his grasp as your body already felt like it was jelly. Your hands could only hold onto the mat underneath you, feeling his thrusts speed up which caused a clapping sound to secrete in the room. His thrusts were so hard, your body convulsing as another orgasm formed.

Your entire fate was sealed, you'll be with him forever if he gets you pregnant, and you couldn't let that happen but what could you do? Absolutely nothing, but take him deeply inside you. His moans were getting louder, his hands around your throat before he pulled you flush agaisnt his chest. Both his arms were around your chest, one hand going to your throat and squeezing it as he began slowly sliding in and out of you. The sounds were so erratic, and you couldn't help the way your walls trembled as you listened to it. "Scream out my name, ____..! Tell me... tell me you love me..!"

His pace picked up again, your orgasm snapping harshly in your abdomen, your legs kicking under you as he continued to drill through your orgasm. This one was more intense than all the other ones, seeming like it ripped your entire body with tidal waves of pleasure. A harsh smack on your ass made your body jolt, as you screamed out the words he demanded you say. "I—I love you..! Wakatoshi..!"

His grin widened, his body went stiff as he plunged himself deeply inside of you, his lips latching onto your neck as he moaned agaisnt you. You could barely register the hot pulsing liquid surging throughout you, the male biting a deep mark into your neck. His orgasm was so intense that slight tears escaped his eyelids too, as he's never felt something this good. He definently wasn't planning on letting you go, at all. You're finally his, and will always be his.

Literal tears escaped your eyes as another orgasm broke over you, one not that hard but enough to have you screaming. He held you close to his body, slowly grinding his hips agaisnt yours to empty out his seed into your womb. His grasp on your throat was removed though, before his arms went to wrap around your waist.

A stinging pain was on your neck, and that was when you realized he imprinted a dark hickey on you. Your body fell agaisnt the mat, his hands holding his body up and off of your body. He was still deeply seated inside you, his cock still pressed firmly against your cervix. You could still feel him cumming, your eyes shut still feeling the thick spurts of his seed filling your womb. His hand went to caress your ass, before you heard his deep rumbling voice.

"You will not go to college, ____. You will be with me, at all times, no matter what. No matter how much you want to leave, I will punish you, if you do not cooperate with me." You were so ready to graduate, as you didn't think it would turn out like this. It was correct to expect the unexpected.

This work was originally written by @compressingsins, if you see anything similar, please report it to me. 🫶🏾

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stuffeddeer · 3 months ago

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i just had a thought. imagine something like when you and normal dazai were best friends (maybe apart of the buraiha trio too, or squad in that case) but what i mean is close-close kinda best friends. but if thats too basic i think we can add mutual pining with no confession in it. and then take that scenario into the beast au, where you two are still close, but work in very different fields and still have that mutual pining, and can never be together no matter how close you two become - whether it be forbidden because of work fields or just.. the whole phase 5 ordeal. or something else! do you think he'd try to get away or get closer? please i need more thoughts on this scenario i love angsty things

+ can i be 🦴 anon? tysm! :)

My thoughts on smitten beast!Dazai | Bungo Stray Dogs | Dazai x reader

wehehehehe i loveee beast!zai gm 🦴anon!!!! i would like to apologize in advance bc my thoughts are jumbled and incoherent on my best days LMAO

okay here’s what i’m thinking. either you’re a part of his plan or you aren’t - either he has something he wants to change for you like he’s doing with oda, or you’re merely another piece of the puzzle. depending on which you fall under, how he’ll act will be different. being a part of his scheme, falling under the subject of someone whose life he wants to change, will lead to him alienating himself from you like how he did to oda - knowing that he has to isolate himself away from you so you can live a longer or better life. dazai understood the only way oda would live in the light and write his novel was if he pushed him to and killed himself, so he’d do the same for you, dying happily knowing it’s better for you.

but…. if you aren’t part of his plan, i don't think he'd mind still finding you and courting you :) had it merely been mutual pining in other lives, maybe he wants to see what it'd be like to actually date you! he already knows everything you like, so from the very second you two meet, he's showing up with your favorite flowers ("they just reminded me of you") and chocolates or whatever sweets you adore ("i bought too much and couldn't finish"). he'd take you on cute little dates he doesn't label dates until you get frustrated and ask him if he's just leading you on, wondering why he never holds your hand or heaven forbid kisses you! and dazai will just laugh and confess, telling you he wanted to take it slow or some other bogus excuse you don't have the time to pry into as he kisses you 🙂‍↕️

dazai will 100% enjoy every moment he can with you!!!! he knows it's rapidly approaching his end so he makes sure you're allll set up (he sets aside a disgusting amount of money in some share for you to take from at your leisure post mortem). he understands he's a busy guy, but always makes sure to shower you in love when you're around, knowing he won't be able to much longer :/

of course, he could also try pushing you away as he nears his end, but i still think he'd try and hold you close before that. say toward the end he starts more fights and distances himself. you're confused wondering why he has started to pull back, and he just tells you work is rough. i think dazai would try to subtly let you know what's coming, mentioning his line of work breeds resentment and leads to many a death, like how the previous boss died (....kind of) and the one before. he'd want you prepared, and preferably happy, but understands that he selfishly didn't let you to pass by his final phase without some sort of grieving. dazai would have regrets in that sense, but understand there's not much he can do about it now except try and prepare you for the inevitable.

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anjaelle · 1 year ago

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Hello darling 💙

Would you consider writing for Count Vronsky from Anna Karenina?

Pairing: Count Alexei Vronsky x Foreign Socialite!Reader Warnings: Borderline Toxic Infatuation, Vintage Slow Burn, (almost) Infidelity Summary: A foreign born socialite/heiress visits a friend in Russia and meets a straight up demon. For @bettytaylorversion (AU where Anna doesn't go back to Vronsky and chooses to stay with Karenin.) Word Count: 2.3K a/n: I remember that Tolstoy made this character so straightforward that you can kind of play around with him as much as you like without changing much about who he is at his core. I can't be left to my own devices. That being said, I don't want purists yelling at me. So I hope everyone takes some of my choices here with a grain of salt.

--x--

Everything about Russia felt intimidating to you: the language, the size of the country, the power of its military, and the show of their aristocratic wealth. You were wealthy. But this was a different kind of wealth. You came to visit your close friend who was another socialite that you met through overlapping inner circles. It'd taken you a while to accept the invitation as you weren't sure how kindly they'd take to a foreigner.

You understood some of the language based on what your friend taught you, but you still weren't confident enough to converse in just Russian. Instead you opted for French, which seemed to work well enough. You knew your native language was a lost cause. While some people in the parlor were polite, others had no interest in speaking with you. A small number seemed interested in you and your home country. Or maybe they just noticed your Very New and Very Parisian wardrobe with your collection of gifted jewels. They decided you were important enough to talk to.

When she introduced you to Count Alexei Vronsky, an officer in the army, you felt her grip on your elbow tighten just the slightest bit. You knew about him. She told you all about his affair with the married woman from Saint Petersburg. You weren't sure how you pictured the man. She said he was handsome, but you lived in a world full of beautiful people. How much different could he be?

That was a terrible miscalculation. The minute he met you, he watched you with the intense interest of a fox stalking its prey. You felt your cheeks warm and your heart thud when he pressed his lips to your gloved knuckle. You averted your eyes when he rose from his bow, not really wanting to convey anything uncouth about the interaction.

The first time he found you alone, you were in your friend's library looking at a map pinned to the wall. He told you about every country he'd lived in, every country he'd traveled through, and which ones he'd be eager to see soon. When you pointed out your country on the map, he licked his lips and an easy smile graced his beautiful face.

"I suppose I have no choice but to come see you now." He said in his thick accent.

You realized, then, that he reminded you of angels you'd see painted on the walls of grand, gilded churches. You told him that you and your fiance would be happy to invite him to your engagement party.

"Hmm." he said, eyeing the map. "Fiancés..." he finished the statement in Russian, so you couldn't understand him.

Before you excused yourself to go find your friend, his fingertips gently grazed the back of your hand, stopping you in your tracks. "Your fiancé is incredibly lucky to have such a beautiful, clever woman."

The second time he found you alone, you'd been exploring the estate and decided to rest in the garden among the wildflowers. As you raised your face to the summer sun, he made his presence known by clearing his throat, causing you to jump to your feet in surprise.

"Good afternoon, startled rabbit." He chuckled, and you rolled your eyes at him.

"How long have you been standing there?" You warily asked, anxiously adjusting your skirts and brushing the grass from your hair. He cocked his head, studying you, "Long enough to notice that your beauty in parlor candlelight cannot compare to how alluring you are in the light of day."

It was interesting to see him dressed so casually compared to the night before. You wondered what he was still doing at your friend's estate when you knew he had a home of his own. You quickly glanced at her window to see the curtains still closed.

When you boldly asked him if he'd been watching you, something akin to amusement danced across his face, "You like the idea of that? Me watching you?"

"I have a fiancé."

He took a step closer, "That doesn't answer my question."

“You didn’t answer mine.” You countered, looking him square in the eye.

That wasn’t particularly ladylike, and you weren’t sure how anyone would react if they happened upon you and Vronsky standing so close in the garden without a chaperone.

As if reading your mind, he glanced down at your lips, then his eyes fell lower to your bodice. Your engraved gold locket rested on the top of one breast, with your fiancé’s initials glittering under the sun.

“I wasn’t watching you. I was…preoccupied.” His eyes met yours again and you felt like you’d been splashed with icy water. “Your husband—my apologies—your fiancé…he is a man of means? That necklace of yours is exquisite.”

You weren’t stupid. He didn’t care about the necklace. “That is a very inappropriate question to ask.”

“So he is not a man of means.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Who gave you that necklace?”

“Why does it trouble you to know?”

“You deserve a better one.” He murmured. You were unsure if he was still speaking about the jewelry. His fingers ghosted over the exposed skin of your forearm, "I could do that for you. If you wish." You took one large step back and glanced again at your friend’s window to find her watching you both suspiciously.

For the remainder of your stay in Russia, your friend treated you coolly. Though she was kind in private, she wasn't as warm in the company of others. Specifically, in the presence of Count Vronsky who seemed eager to appear more often during your stay and even more eager to get you alone. You reminded yourself that it was a temporary trip, and that you'd be back at your father's estate--and back in your kind fiancé's arms--in no time.

"It's truly fortunate that you're betrothed," your friend said as you gathered your belongings to meet the carriage in the courtyard, "or it'd be a shame to see your name added to the Count's incredibly long list of jilted lovers." There was an edge of bitterness to her tone, but you chose not to bring it up. Instead you marked it as an incredibly odd ending to an otherwise enjoyable trip.

A month later, you nearly fell down the stairs when your father called you down to the foyer to greet his newest client who arrived that morning from Russia. Count Alexei Vronsky bowed as you descended, but you could see the mirth dancing behind his eyes when he righted his posture behind your father's back.

"He says you spoke extensively about my craftsmanship. He felt compelled to come by the shop for his own fitting while he was visiting!" Your father exclaimed merrily, pulling you in for a kiss on the forehead, "My brilliant girl. This will do wonders for us. I knew I could count on you."

Sure, you had spoken highly of you father's tailoring and shoemaking, because as popular as your father was it never hurt to expand the reach of his influence.

That being said, you were sure Vronsky wasn't there for that conversation, and you never continued any form of contact after you departed Russia. You assumed he learned about where you lived through mutual friends. You swore under your breath when your father left you alone to get his sketches from his workshop in the east wing of the estate. Vronsky eyed you briefly, then redirected his interest to the art and artifacts decorating your home. Ever the son born of Russian ice and stoicism, he looked out of place in the warm atmosphere of the home you grew up in.

"Your country is beautiful," he said, arching a dark brow, "a bit too hot for my liking. Though, it is nice to see you in your natural element. I don't think wildflowers like you belong in the comparative cold of a Russian summer."

You felt like you were being tested, but you decided that there wasn't much he could do in the confines of your home. He was, after all, in your territory. Your shoulders relaxed and you chanced a small smile his way, "You'd be surprised to know how resilient I can be."

Surprisingly, he laughed, "I don't think I'd be surprised at all. I know you better than you think I do."

You felt like you'd regret it, but you decided to ask anyway.

"What do you mean by that?"

He began to stroll through the hall of your foyer, pausing every so often to examine a portrait or vase as you trailed behind him.

"You attended your fiancé's nameday feast a few years ago. Of course, he was not your fiancé, then. He was merely your father's apprentice and a quite talented shoemaker from my country who moved and quickly fell in love with...your country." He chuckled to himself at a joke only he seemed to know. "I remember you. I remember that you were an absolute vision in white, and you danced with everyone in the room. Though you were incredibly quiet when you weren't wrapped up in the melody of the orchestra." He glanced over at your confused expression, fighting a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, "Like I said: startled rabbit. Always quiet. Always watching. I remember the way your dress hugged the delicate slope of your shoulders, and the way your necklace caressed your neck. That may have been the first time I craved to exist within the confines of a jeweled pendant. And though I was otherwise...occupied with someone...I do remember the way you consistently laughed when he whispered things to you. A kind gesture, as he's never been that funny."

"So you know him. You were there that night." You whispered, feeling chills running up your arm.

"I was," he shrugged, stopping again at a more recent portrait of you and your father, "as was my duty as his elder brother."

You felt your heart stop in your chest and your brain short circuited. Your fiancé never told you about any siblings, let alone an elder brother. You knew your fiance's father was possibly dead, and that his mother raised him alone in Russia. Was he lying about his life? You weren't sure what was conveyed on your face, but Count Vronsky turned to address you directly.

"My father was not an honorable man. He forbade us from speaking to my half-brother or acknowledging him. Of course, Father is dead now, and God hasn't struck me down for disrespecting the wishes of a dead man. This also isn't the first time I've ever sinned." He grinned widely at you and took a step closer, though you were too shocked to move. "From the minute I saw you, I knew I had to have you. And every time I've seen you since, I regretted not stealing you away for myself."

"That doesn't make any sense..." you murmured, hiding your anxious hands behind your back, "I've never met you before. I'd know. I'd remember."

"You make your presence known at those silly little soirées the ladies have. I never stay for very long, but I've always..." he took another step closer and you realized you'd been backed against a pillar, "I've always noticed you. Dancing. Laughing. Drinking. Sometimes smoking. Does your father know you smoke?"

You glanced down the hall over his shoulder, and in a small voice that surprised you, you whispered, "I don't always do that."

"Mhmm." He reached out to run his warm, slightly calloused fingers along the chain of your necklace, stopping just before the pendant that rested in the valley of your cleavage. Your chest involuntarily heaved, and your knees felt weak, "What other bad things do you 'not always' do?"

You parted your lips to attempt something sharp, but instead you swallowed hard and said, "I'm to be married."

"But you are not married." He was so close, "Do you know how badly I've wanted to come see you since you left?" You could smell the sweet wine of your country on his tongue as he whispered lowly to you, "The thought of his hands on you made me want to abandon all of my obligations to cross the sea. Did you think of me?"

Your gaze fell to his lips, slightly stained red, and then back up into his piercing blue eyes. God, he was beautiful. He caught the action.

"You did."

"I didn't."

"Your eyes betray you, wildflower." His hand grazed your hip above your skirt, and his lips ghosted over your own, "I thought about you every night. I think about how you'd look spread out for me on those expensive sheets your father bought you. Waiting for me. And you're wearing that charming necklace my brother gave you while my tongue is deep in that sweet little--"

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and Vronsky swiftly turned away from you to examine the nearest vase again, as if nothing happened. You hadn't realized that your hands were grasping your skirt in your fists and that you were squeezing your thighs together.

You realized then that it'd been so long since you were last touched.

When your father entered the hall, he shot you a curious look before handing Vronsky his latest sketches.

"Here you go, young man. Let me know if these are to your liking. We can begin as early as tomorrow afternoon."

The blond shot your father a charming smile and bowed graciously, "Thank you for taking the time to help a stranger on such short notice."

The conversation sounded like white noise in your ears as you willed your heart to slow down. Even as you composed yourself and released your skirt from your hands, you still felt out of sorts.

When he turned to you and bowed again, he rose and allowed his eyes to trail down the length of your body.

"Always a pleasure to see you again."

#count vronsky #count vronsky x reader #aaron taylor johnson #atj x reader #it's taken me sooo long to edit and re-edit this i'm so sorry #thank you for waiting #jae writes

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thatonebirdwrites · 1 month ago

Text

Pine

The needles crunched under Lena's shoes, her hands deep in the pockets of her red jacket. Around her, the pines stretched toward the cloudy sky and a dusting of snow coated the ground. Snow caught the world's noise like the sound-cancelling headphones Lena used when alone.

It's why she loved the first snow. The silence wrapped around her, and she disconnected from her reality.

Snow here in California felt strange, but hadn't everything been off-kilter since she woke in her penthouse, her brother suddenly alive again?

Her thoughts bounced between the new reality her brother had somehow crafted. One where he was a hero instead of a villain. One where he'd tripped over backward to manipulate her into working for him, but he'd forgotten one detail.

Sam.

She still worked in L-Corp's financials, and she was Lena's friend still. But it had been a friendship prior Lena kept from Lex for reasons that Earth-38 had yet to understand, considering how cryptic some entries became during the worldkiller crisis, and how a few had been in a code that Lena struggled to decode.

Lex didn't know how close prior Lena had been with Sam. Nor had he known Sam had been a worldkiller. Lena had hid from Lex to avoid Lex killing Sam too like he did the other worldkillers.

The place he'd lured Purity and Pestilence became an inhospitable, irradiated wasteland, but the nuclear bomb had obliterated those worldkillers. A massive clean-up effort had been under prior Lena's jurisdiction, along with research of the worldkillers' effects on the climate and how to stabilize it.

Her boots crunched on a twig, and Lena slowed her walk, reluctant to reach her destination.

The world saw Lex as the hero who saved them, but Lena knew the truth. Written in prior Lena's journals, Kara, prior Lena, Alex, J'onn, and Nia had all worked to save Sam and destroy the terraforming machine in totality. A fight that nearly cost them their lives.

Prior Lena hadn't hesitated in asking Supergirl for help, but then prior Lena knew Supergirl's true identity. She'd been trusted from the beginning by Kara.

Earth-38 Lena had tried to do it all alone, scared that whatever secret government group worked with Supergirl would kill Sam instead of save her. She had not been trusted from the beginning by Kara.

Prior Lena knew how to trust. She had faith in her friends. She hadn't been painfully betrayed again and again and again. Most of her sour experiences lay in arguments with Lex about use of military weapons and the buying of the DEO.

Oh, and apparently Andrea had betrayed her in this reality too.

So here Earth-38 Lena existed as an interloper. Someone who shouldn't exist in this reality. Prior Lena had been erased, and Earth-38 Lena walked under pine branches in prior Lena's shoes.

Bitter, distrustful, and wrapped in pain -- Sam had noticed immediately the difference, and no amount of hiding from her worked. She'd been relentless in showing up to check on Lena. To find out why Lena was in such grief and pain.

Lena hunched in her jacket as she approached the center of the park. She thought of Sam's talk last night, of how it'd gone off the rails rather quickly, and she'd ended up confessing everything.

She hadn't realized how badly she'd needed a sounding board.

"Sam, I don't know what to do. Work with Supergirl or my brother? It's not like I can trust either. Both have used me in the past." Lena pressed her hands against her forehead. "I've been just a tool..."

"No, you're not going there," Sam interrupted as she sprinkled more flour across the cutting board, where she worked her gluten-free dough with expert fingers. In the living room, the music from Ruby's game drifted into the kitchen. "I get that it feels that way, but from what you've said, Supergirl tried to fix things, right?"

Lena shrugged. She still wasn't sure if Kara's actions were guilt or truly her trying to engage in repair.

"And your brother somehow made this reality..." Sam shook her head. "Which is a little hard to believe, but..." She studied Lena for a long moment. "But you aren't yourself."

"Oh?" Lena sneered. "Then how am I supposed to act?" She hadn't meant to sound so defensive, but Sam's words hurt.

Sam sighed and waved her hand vaguely at Lena. "That right there isn't you. The Lena I know laughs more, believes in the goodness of humanity, works toward a more equitable world."

"Equitable world. That's what I'm trying to do!" Lena crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Sam.

"Is it?" Sam punched down into the dough with far more force than it warranted. "We used to go to activist events about the climate and alien rallies together. But the last few weeks, you've become a bitter recluse. And now this new project? This sudden turn from disaster relief and climate studies to mind control? Honestly, Lena, I don't know what to say."

"It's not mind control," Lena protested, but it was a weak protest. Exhaustion soaked her bones, and she wondered if Sam was right. "It's just an algorithm to prevent people from hurting one another. It'll be a more equitable and safer world."

Sam frowned. "Right. And how is that not a violation of free will?"

"Sam." Lena looked at her pained. "I'm trying to free humanity from suffering."

"Are you?" Sam's beating of the dough grew more pronounced, the flour dusting the marbled counter. "Lena, my suffering is what molded me into who I am today. Yes, it sucked at times, and some of them were my fault. But I learned and did better."

"But wouldn't things be better for Ruby if she didn't have to suffer like you did?" Lena knew it was a weak argument, but part of her felt so hollowed by Lex's actions, by this new reality, that her heart wasn't in fighting for this project. She'd become disillusioned since waking up in hell.

"Of course I don't want Ruby to suffer!" Sam flipped the dough and dug her knuckles into it before rolling it into a ball and repeating the gesture. "But I won't let anyone, even you Lena, take away from Ruby her ability to choose."

"It's not about--" Lena's words died at Sam's glare.

"Keep lying to yourself, hun." Sam wiped her hands on a hand towel that hung from the stove's handle. "Lena, I've always had your back, right?"

Lena wasn't sure exactly what Sam had done in this reality, but the prior Lena's journal entries -- since when did she write in a journal anyway? -- her, Sam, and Kara had met up often for drinks or board games.

So this Sam had no idea what Lena went through, nor what Kara had done. How the hurt between them soured everything. Her attempt to explain had failed; the words just wouldn't come out; her thoughts and emotions a bundle of pain and fear.

Lena had used Kara, trapped her in kryptonite, and still failed. All her plans for naught, and she, honestly, should have stayed dead. She didn't deserve to be here. This should be prior Lena's life, the person who was a true hero, not like herself.

"Lena?" Sam grasped her shoulder. "You got that haunted look in your eyes again. What is it?"

"You don't know what I've done," Lena whispered. "Or what Kara did on that prior Earth. You weren't there. I -- I shut you and everyone out after the betrayal."

"Then don't do it here. Don't push us away for a project that would steal our free will."

Lena laughed, but it turned into a sob. The walls of Sam's kitchen, which had felt so comforting at first, folded in on her, and she needed air. She turned to run, but Sam caught her arm.

To her surprise, Sam spun her into a hug. "I said I'd always have your back, Lena, so how about this." She murmured into Lena's hair, her arms warm and comforting -- something Lena hadn't felt in months (lifetitmes?). "How about this. Let's explore options. I'll get my hands on a truthseeker, and we'll put it on Kara. You'll get the truth you want, and I'll be there this time."

Despite not remembering Earth-38, Sam acted remarkably like the Sam there. Lena sunk into Sam's embrace, and a few tears escaped. "Okay," she said, quietly. "We'll try your way."

So here she was, walking in the climate-change snow toward the meeting place. She'd let Sam pick it, let Sam reach out to invite Kara, to act the neutral party.

Sam didn't have Lena's history with Supergirl and Kara, and Kara had no reason to suspect Sam of villianry. Yet Lena wondered if Alex and the others were watching somewhere, ready to judge her, condemn her, maybe even nuke her.

Because she wasn't a fool. On Earth-38, she'd seen Claymore change it's orientation. Hope had calculated the trajectory, and it had pointed at her.

If that was Alex or Kara, Lena didn't know, but her heart suspected Alex. Kara had been too desperate to convince save her despite Lena trapping her in kryptonite.

This was a detail she hadn't told Sam. How could she?

Sam was all she had left, and she was the loophole in Lex's plans. Because whatever he planned, it might be worse than the red sun incident or Red Daughter/Kaznia. Prior Lex had been too free with his military toys during crises, but he'd been far kinder and more accepting than Earth-38 Lex.

No, trusting Lex, even after his truthseeker confession, was a dangerous situation. Lena had seen Lex's tells when the truthseeker sat on his arm. He'd omitted things, said only what he believed was true to convince her.

But what had he omitted? What did she fail to see?

A cold breeze ruffled the branches of the vines, and needles shook loose to drift softly into the snow. Ahead the clearing where benches loomed before a fountain. Lena stopped at the edge or the pine forest and ducked behind a trunk.

There, sitting on the central bench, Kara sat watching the sky, where a few snow flurries danced above the fountain, it's water shut off and a thin layer of ice over what remained in its marbled bowl.

Her golden hair hung loose, and the wind whipped to the left, locks drifting across her face. She looked ethereal in the light of the setting sun, her skin almost aglow. Her glasses were in her hands as she cleaned them with a white cloth. She wore no protective gear for the cold, no scarf, no winter coat, no boots, just a navy blue jacket and jeans with sneakers.

The grief and pain in her soul pulsed with the love that she'd failed to exorcise. Her urge to walk over, push Kara against the bench, and kiss her haunted her thoughts. Nothing had exorcised that desire from her traitorous heart.

She leaned against the rough bark, and nibbled on her bottom lip. Maybe she should leave now, before anyone noticed her.

But the thought of the truthseeker on Kara kept her rooted in place. She needed the truth, all of it unfiltered. No more omitting facts, no more lying, no more half-truths.

Part of her dreaded what she'll find, another part urged her to push forward with the plan, and yet another part burned with a desire to just run from everyone. To leave this cursed city and disappear from everyone.

Footsteps caught her attention, and she sighted Sam on the opposite side of the clearing. No, she'd ghosted Sam once already. Of all the people in her life, Sam hadn't ever betrayed her. She didn't deserve to be hurt again by Lena.

Sam rounded the fountain, a duffel bag over her shoulder, and her winter coat a different color than what Lena remembered. On Earth-38, Sam wore darker colors, often navy blue, black, or brown. Here she wore a forest green winter coat with brown cuffs and collar.

"Hey Kara! Thanks for meeting." Sam waved with a smile. "I know you've been really busy lately."

"Yeah." Kara brushed off snow. "It's weird to see snow in California."

"Polar vortex dipped too far south again." Sam shrugged. "Lena was studying it by the way. Had an idea on how to stabilize the climate, but..." She dropped onto the bench next to Kara, her duffel at her feet. "It's been a weird few weeks."

"Yeah. That's for sure." Kara's laugh sounded forced. "Was anyone else meeting us?"

"Yeah, one more." Sam scanned the clearing. Lena tried to keep out of sight in the pines, but her friend was far too observant. "Lena, stop hiding, girl. I can see that red jacket."

Lena sighed and stepped out from behind the pine. She tugged on her fingers nervously. "Hi." She didn't know what else to say.

"Lena?" Kara shot to her feet, her eyes wide. "What -- what are you doing here?"

Gingerly, Lena stepped out of the pine's safety and onto the stone tiles of the clearing. "I -- I was asked by Sam to come as well."

Kara frowned. "Last time we talked you almost threw a wine glass at my head."

"Wait she did?" Sam looked between the two. "Well, I suppose that's better than the microscope at Jack's head."

That was another weird thing about this reality. Jack still lived, but prior Lena had never dated Jack. Instead, she'd dated a lot of women, no men at all. Another major difference -- prior Lena was a lesbian, but Earth-38 Lena was a bisexual.

"A microscope?" Kara repeated. "What did he do?"

"Irritated me," Lena said, with a shrug. "His testing plans were ridiculous, and he wasn't listening to me." She walked to the bench, but didn't sit down. "Um, so, did Sam tell you what this is about?"

Kara glanced at the dufflebag. "Sort of? She said she'd bring a truthseeker to help mediate between us."

"Both of us will take turns with it," Lena said. She sat down on the armrest of the nearby bench. Cold seeped into her clothes. "The full truth, no holding back."

Kara nibbled on her bottom lip. "Okay."

Lena frowned. "Just okay? No self-righteous speech about how I should trust you without it?"

Kara sighed. "I don't want to fight you, Lena. If this helps you then I'll do it."

Sam unzipped her bag and pulled out a silver cylinder. "I admit, this is weird. Both of you are not acting like the Kara and Lena I knew." She settled the cylinder on her lap and shook her head. "Lena had been panicking over whether she should ask you out before-- before whatever caused this weird change."

Lena looked down at her hands. She'd read that in prior Lena's journals, and it had hurt so much. Prior Lena had confidence in everything but love, and yet, she'd still been more courageous than Earth-38 Lena. Prior Lena admitted to her love, while Earth-38 Lena hid from it.

"Wait, you were going to ask me out?" Kara leaned closer to Lena. "Really?"

"Prior Lena," she said flatly. "It's in her journals. She was a meticulous record keeper. Better than even myself."

Sam shook her head. "Comments like that sure make this surreal. So who wants to go first?"

"I will." Kara pushed up her sleeve and held out her arm. "Do it, Sam."

Lena said nothing, only watched as Sam carefully keyed the code and opened one end. She tilted it into Kara's lap.

The unnerving creature slipped out and wrapped its appendages around Kara's arm. The hiss of not-quite pain escaped Kara's lips, and a hint of redness blossomed around the tentacles.

"Ask away," Kara said, her voice trembling slightly as she looked at Lena.

"Did you ever trust me?" Lena couldn't meet Kara's gaze, so she picked at her cuticles instead.

"Yes. I did."

Lena frowned. "Are you immune to that thing or what? How can you say you trusted me and yet you used me."

"Lena," Kara said, fervently. "I did trust you. It's myself I didn't trust. I made a big mistake by using James to go behind your back and search for kryptonite. I'd been so wrapped up in pain at seeing my people harm Earth again, that when I heard synthesized, all I saw was red. And red would have doomed us."

"Red what?" Lena demanded. "It sounds like you're just making up excuses."

"Red Kryptonite," Kara said, her voice strangled almost. "Max Lord made it on Earth-38. It... it brings out the darkest parts of me, and people almost died. Alex and J'onn had to use everything they had to subdue me enough for the cure."

Red welts appeared along the edges of the wrapped tentacles. Something she'd never seen on Kara's skin before -- her always flawless skin, always flawless hair, always perfect in every way. More signs that she was not fully human if Lena had been more observant.

Or maybe more honest with herself.

"Is that your excuse? Past trauma giving you the right to use people I cared about and my name against me?" Lena wanted to slap Kara, but that'd likely break her hand.

"It's not an excuse, Lena. It's my truth. I fucked up, and I'm sorry."

The curseword stole all the angry accusations from Lena's lips. She'd never heard Kara curse ever.

"So," Sam said, cautiously. "Lots of bad blood between you two. My question is, what is real? This Earth-38 or our current world?"

Kara slumped against the bench. "Earth-38 and the multiverse at large was destroyed in the antimatter wave. It took all of us paragons -- and there wasn't many of us honestly -- to end that threat and restore the multiverse. I don't think Earth-38 will ever exist again." Pain coated her voice. "I couldn't save them."

"I couldn't either," Lena pointed out. "I build that massive portal, evacuated who I could, and yet we still died on Earth-1, didn't we? So all our actions were pointless."

"Never," Kara snapped. "We still thought we had a chance to win when that happened. You saved so many, Lena. You didn't have to do that. You could have turned Alex away."

"I'm not a monster," Lena said. She dropped onto the bench proper, and rested her arms on her knees, her hands clasped. "All I've ever wanted is to do good."

"Then do good now!" Kara said, earnestly. "Help us against Leviathan and Lex. Don't --"

"Stop." Lena struggled against an urge to cry. Why was she doing this? It felt like torture. Her heart ached, and she didn't deserve this second chance at life. "I manipulated you for months, Kara. Used you to finish my project. I encased you in a kryptonite prison."

"Yeah, that was awful." Kara winced. "More than awful. Like lava in my veins, but you didn't leave me there. It melted the moment you left, and you'd programmed a drone to saturate me with the sunlight I needed to recover," Kara pointed out. "You could have killed me, but you didn't."

Lena didn't say anything. She couldn't kill Kara.

She was capable of killing her own brother, but she couldn't kill Kara.

Her nightmares about Lex's death had returned with a vengeance since she woke in this hell world. She could feel the heft of the pistol in her hands. The stench of gunpowder as she shot her own brother. Her ears still echoed with the gasps of his breaths between his rants. He had checkmated her, and the truth he'd revealed about Kara obliterated Lena's heart.

"Why try to save me?" Lena watched the snow blow across the fountain's ice. "I saw Claymore reorient itself to face my location. You could have fired it."

"No! I would have caught caught it, taken the blast myself."

Lena's eyes darted to the truthseeker still on Kara's arm. The red welts had grown. Next to Kara, Sam sat silent, her eyes on the truthseeker, and a troubled expression on her face.

"Why?" Lena leaned closer to Kara, one arm against the bench's armrest. "Why are you so damn determined to save me? I'm not worth this effort, Kara. You should have let me die that day."

"Never. I can't lose you, Lena. I can't." Pain etched into Kara's voice.

"Why? Why can't you?" Lena snapped. "Why do you persist? You didn't care before! Lying to my face over and over again. And I, the lovesick fool, fell for it every time."

"Lena, when I was just Kara with you, I wasn't ever lying." The pain in Kara's voice echoed with a deep grief. "I can't lose you because I love you." Her face reddened, and she looked at the truthseeker.

Lena breathed in sharply. "Love?"

"Yes," Kara said, weakly. "I love you. And I wanted to protect you. But I was a coward. I couldn't be just Kara with you, even though I tried so hard. If either of us should have died in Crisis, it should have been me."

The red welts crept up Kara's arm. Lena couldn't take her eyes off it. "What's happening to your arm?" She pointed to the affected areas.

"I think I'm allergic to it," Kara whispered.

"Okay, that's enough." Sam double tapped the creature, and it unwrapped from Kara. It's slimy skin glistened with a soft blue glow, and it slithered back into its cylinder. "I'm sorry, Kara. I can go run and grab some Aloe Vera for you?"

"No need, Sam." Kara smiled, tiredly. "Time in the sunlight will heal this."

Lena stared at Kara's arm, the confession rattling against the sight of the allergic reaction.

Sam closed the cylinder and shifted to tuck it into her bag. "If you're allergic, then I don't think we should risk anyone--"

"Do it, Sam." Lena tugged her arm out of her coat and held it out. The cold bit into her arm, and she steeled herself. "I said both of us, and I, unlike some, follow through on promises."

"Lena..." Sam frowned. "What if you're allergic too?"

"I don't care. Just do it."

Kara looked back and forth between two, her brow scrunched with worry. She stayed silent, one hand lightly rubbing her sores.

Sam grumbled but walked over and opened the cylinder above Lena's arm. The creature slid out and wrapped around Lena's arm, and a rush of chemicals seethed into her veins.

Lena gasped at the mixture of pain and an intense desire to speak bloomed within her.

"Ask your questions, Kara," Sam said, sharply.

Kara stared at the truthseeker. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes. No. yes." Lena struggled against the urge to scream her truth. To hold herself back somehow, but whatever the truthseeker slipped into her blood overcame her. "I trust you to keep me alive. I trust you to come to my rescue. But I don't trust you with my heart. You broke it."

Kara took a haggard breath, her eyes haunted. "I'm sorry, Lena. Truly I am."

"Stop apologizing!" Lena snapped. "Ask me why! Ask me why it hurt so much, Kara!"

Kara flinched. "Okay, okay, why did it hurt so much?"

The words exploded out of her. "Because I'm in love with you. All I wanted was you. It's why I bought Catco. For you. It's why I led it and gave Sam L-Corp's CEO position. To be close to you. Why do you think I filled your office with flowers?" Tears stung her eyes, and she gulped back a sob. "To learn you never trusted me with your true self?"

"But I did! You saw me, the me I wanted so badly to be, and if it weren't for you, I would have lost myself after losing Mon-el." Kara darted to her feet and dropped down in front of Lena. "You are my light, Lena. My heart. And I'll never stop fighting for you." She started to reach for Lena's hands, but Sam intervened and pushed her back.

"How can I trust that?" Lena blurted. "I'm scared. I'm scared to trust again, scared to love you. I should have died, Kara." Tears blurred her vision, and yet she couldn't stop. The truthseeker pulsed its toxins into her, pushing her to spill her truth. "I erased prior Lena, who was a much better person than me. I'm a murderer, a villain, a monster that should have died."

"No!" Kara shouted, frustrated. "You deserve life."

"Okay, that's enough." Sam tapped the truthseeker and collected it in its container. It left slight red marks on Lena's arm, but nothing compared to Kara's. "No one deserves death, for God's sake." Sam ran a hand through her hair and tossed it over her shoulder. "You two have apparently gone through hell on Earth-38." She locked the lid and stowed it in the bag. "But this is getting ridiculous. I want you both to talk, while I return this. When I get back, you two better have talked this out, or I'm gonna lock you two in a room for a week. Don't test me."

Lena shoved her arm back into her warm coat, and zipped it shut. "Fine." She felt raw, exposed, but the truth had been laid bare. The truthseeker had done it's duty.

Kara clenched her hands into fists but said nothing. True to her word, Sam slung the bag over her shoulder and marched to the south, the far end of the park.

"Would Sam really lock us in a room?" Kara said after a long moment of silence.

"Yes." Lena chuckled softly, but it felt hollow still. "She locked me and Jack in a room to force us to talk through a rather ridiculous fight. I was being stubborn. She even barricaded the door."

"Well then." Kara sat back on her heels, her hands on her knees. She looked up at Lena. "I suppose we should talk then?"

Lena wiped her eyes. "I guess."

"Lena," Kara reached out, but her hand hovered between them, uncertainty on her face. "Can we start over? This time honesty and trust will be our cornerstone. And we can rebuild from there?"

This was the one difference between Lex with the truthseeker and Kara. Lex didn't love her. He'd chose his words carefully for maximum manipulation. He hadn't worn the truthseeker long, only enough for him to say the words he knew Lena wanted to hear.

He refused to keep it on for her questions.

But Kara had worn it long enough to blister her skin.

Lena reached out tentatively and grasped Kara's hand. She tugged Kara closer, her other hand gently running along the edge of the red welts. "This is new to me," she said softly. "I -- starting over feels overwhelming. Can it really be that easy?"

"Who said it'd be easy?" Kara settled between Lena's legs, her face upturned. Her gorgeous blue eyes met Lena's emerald ones, and her hair hung in soft ringlets around her beautiful face.

Lena's other hand betrayed her and tucked a lock of Kara's hair behind her ear. She bit her lip, and tucked both her hands under her legs. "I'm tired, Kara. Tired of fighting." She bowed her head, her hair cascading around her face. The snow seeped into her pants, and the wet spread its coldness to her skin. "I'm in hell. Lex masterminded all of this, and that makes us what? Pawns on a chessboard? I murdered my own brother for you. I stained my soul forever. Only for him to somehow survive." She laughed bitterly. "I'm a monster, Kara."

"No. No you're not." Kara gently tugged Lena's hand free and rubbed her thumb over her skin. Warmth radiated from Kara's hand. "You did what you needed to keep us all safe. You deserve care and love. Rebuilding will be hard, I know, but I think you're worth it. I wouldn't have agreed to come if I didn't believe that. Nor would I have tried to warn you about Lex once I woke up here."

Lena thought of the prior Lena's journals. Of the projects she'd been doing, projects Earth-38 had forgone to focus on Harun-el-- her hubris nearly destroying what she'd hoped to save. Or her revenge, once again abandoning projects that could have really helped people out of her delusions of grandeur.

"I'm not better than Lex," Lena said. "Sam's right. Non Nocere is just another mind control project. One Lex will definitely find a way to twist and pervert."

"Then don't do it. Work on other things." Kara leaned closer, her face inches from Lena's own. "Let me work with you. I was the youngest in centuries to be accepted to Krypton's Science Guild, at least before it died." She took a deep breath. "So maybe earth science uses odd units and programming languages, but I can learn it. You don't have to do it all alone, Lena. Please, let's start over. This time on the right foot."

Lena leaned her forehead against Kara's. The warmth seeped into her, and she took a shaky breath. "Okay."

#This turned into a much longer fic than I planned #lena luthor #supercorp #kara danvers #supergirl #After Crisis #Honestly the show didn't really give us how much Lena would be haunted by killing Lex #Plus this new world would have histories that differed from Earth-38 and I'm sure Lena would research that #And what she found likely haunted her too.#Plus I really wanted to bring Sam back because I love Sam. She's Lena's ride or die friend #Sam would talk Lena out of the mind control project easily I think #Also the messing up the climate from worldkillers would take much longer for the Earth to recover so I wanted to play with that

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cacti-are-like-flamingos · 1 year ago

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Wasted Oxygen...

Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

The Cursed Trio | Mr. Sandman

...

Despite being the ever energetic guy he was, Haibara loved to sit down and people-watch. Silently observing others go about their daily business, unaware of their audience as they freely express themselves through large and small mannerisms.

He'd always make sure to find a nice cozy spot, somewhere a bit hidden so no one could see his lingering eyes. If Kento was here, he'd been stating how inappropriately creepy he was being. He could already hear him hehe

Regardless of what his partner would think, the raven-haired boy could easily spend hours observing the world interact with itself. If he was lucky enough, he'd see an entire movie unfold right before his eyes.

Most of the time, though, he tried to call upon his inner Sherlock. Using the art of deduction to figure out the possible stories from every passer-goer.

Usually, it'd be more fun with you considering your extraordinary ability to deduce people to downright filth.

The two of you hanging out, making up stories for every person that caught either of your eyes had become a little routine of yours, one that started from his days of teaching you Japanese. He'd tell you certain words while discreetly pointing to people who embodied said words --- he hadn't expected for you to suddenly start rambling about the possible nuisances of each and every person you saw

And the fact that you had no filter made it worse! The amount of times he had to cover for you after you'd accidentally said something rather insulting about a person who stood close enough to hear --- double digits!

Regardless, it's the same reason as to why you're the most attuned person in terms of others emotions --- once you notice the patterns, you'll see them everywhere is what you'd often say to him

Although, it did leave him wondering. Just how were you so good at people-reading? Is that how you got along with those two so well? Because you knew instantly what they were about the moment you met them?

No, that can't be. On numerous occasions, you've complained about how Gojo and Suguru confused you. You claimed that they were like a whole new different breed of soul that you've never come across before.

Haibara blinked

Souls. The first time he heard about your Cursed Technique, he had to admit --- he'd never heard of a technique like yours.

Cursed Sight: Chains, a cursed technique that bestows its user with the ability to perceive the spiritual and see the souls of living beings as well as curses. The way it works is rather simple, or so, that's how you mentioned it to be.

As one knows, everything is made up of energy. So by simply channeling your own cursed energy, you can manipulate the strands into forming objects. By focusing well enough, you could bring said objects into the physical world: however, there was a catch.

You could never break eye contact.

The technique had great potential. Just visualize the item you need and Wala! It's there. (You had a preference for chains ghost rider type beat. You'd chain curses down to limit its movements prior to going for the kill. In times where the Curse proved too strong, you'd hold it down while continuously attacking it with an already cursed energy-imbued weapon)

To be honest, your fights were quite the spectacle. The way you expertly used your chains to capture curses, the way you used the ends of the chains to destroy them with such force --- ooh la la (aizawa x ghost rider's love child)

We're getting side tracked --- point is, your ability allowed you to see people's essence. You knew when they lied, you knew what they felt, their soul usually said everything you needed to know (you confessed that the soul only shows the most general of feelings so that's why you depended on deducting to truly understand people's intentions)

One major down side, you could never turn it off. I don't think you've ever really seen someone's face much less your own. Bodies are shaped around the soul, and the soul is always so blinding with its different hues. At least, the silhouettes had somewhat of expressions. (Further clarification, it's like cutting out human shape out of colored paper. Just three-dimensional. AH, THINK GOD FROM FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST but include the shape of hair and outfits) You could see the shapes of their eyes, the slope of their nose, and the curve of their lips.

(and now, you're probably asking -- but OP, what about clothes? How do we have a sense of style if we can't see the look when we look in the mirror? That is true. Wearing outfits will just accentuate your soul's shape. But the moment it's off and on a hangar, you can see it plain as day since it's soulless on its own. Also Ieiri helps you, sometimes even Yaga if you're that desperate)

"You're going to hurt yourself from thinking so hard, Haibara." There you are! You even brought, "Hiya!" "Senpai!" Gojo glared at you, "Meh, why aren't you ever this respectful? Hm? You have to respect our customs, foreigner!"

You scoff, "I do respect your customs, just not you."

"Bitch."

"Masochist."

"Masochist?! The hell is that for?"

"You like me insulting you, your soul lives for it. Got a degradation kink, old man?" "Who the fuck you calling old man for?! I'm just a year old-" "Haibara~! Let's go get something to eat!" "O-Oi! Don't run away, pussy!" You stick your tongue out at him as you pull Haibara by the arm, dragging him to some nearby tall selling takoyaki

You spent the entire day ignoring Gojo, who sulked behind you and Haibara as you dragged said male all around Roppongi where you were supposed to meet up with one other. Yep, you guessed it!

Mei Mei!

(don't you just love mixing friend groups and praying to whatever god is out there that it all works out? 😁)

Mei Mei couldn't care less about Haibara, though she did seem to acknowledge him as somewhat worth having around in regards to his 'service potential', but honestly, her indifference was palpable

Instead, Mei Mei focused on you, whose face held a dreamy look as the pretty woman spoke to you with that lovely sing-song voice of hers (she still HELLA sus iykyk but for the sake of this, she ain't. She's just greedy here)

Gojo was irked by how close Mei Mei got to you, his face unbelievably stoic as he watched you and Mei Mei interact (cue that anime angry mark and eyebrow twitch)— Mei Mei acting like a sugar mama to you as the white-haired woman walked you around pointing at shit she knew you'd like.

Ah, I can already hear some of you confused --- specifically the ones who are really into canon.

You see, Mei Mei does nothing out of the goodness of her heart. No, no. Greed is the very foundation of her character. And so, it would make sense that she wouldn't just spend her money on anyone just for the hell of it.

And so, the truth. You and Mei Mei had this secret arrangement --- in return for a few favors and pieces of key-information that she can't quite get from her watchful crows, Mei Mei would pay for your services. Usually, she'd just send the cash over but whenever the two of you are together, she'd provide you a little shopping spree. (No-one knows about this btw)

Despite the previous, it was evident that Mei Mei liked you. She saw you as her favorite little Kouhai, mainly because of how resourceful you could be, and the way your personalities seemed to mesh well together was exquisite in her opinion.

(Side Note: Your relationship with her is incredibly on-the-surface. The reason why you get along so well is because you adapt yourself to her personality. I wouldn't say you're a people-pleaser, although you are, but more of a subtle manipulating type of thing. Idk how to put it)

You weren't at all annoying like the others. Additionally, you had a higher chance of reaching your service potential than any other (i don't even know if that's a compliment or an insult and I wrote it 🤪)

Gojo wasn't a big fan of Mei Mei spoiling you, and it led to a whole day of the two of them kind of fighting to show off who could spoil you the most (though it may or may not have been your plan from the get-go).

The situation became more obvious to Haibara when you wrapped your arm around his, a wicked smile upon your lips as you quietly inquired from Haibara what he wanted. Not fully grasping the scheme, he answered, and then you'd claimed as your current desire, which Mei Mei and Gojo would then buy immediately.

Eventually, Kento joins after receiving a SOS text message from Haibara. At the sight of the two wordlessly seething cotton swabs with you smirking in front of them, Kento dragged him away (he only greeted you, he could care less about the other two)

While Mei Mei was preoccupied with a phone call, and Gojo was off buying something sweet for you and spicy for Suguru, to eat together later — you found yourself sitting at the same spot Haibara had been sitting earlier.

There was someone next to it, but that didn't stop you as you plopped yourself down, attention focused on the people walking by. Blissfully unaware of the minor curses that plagued them.

Sometimes, if you felt merciful, you would destroy the curse. Weaker curses didn't require you to physically manifest your chains; a small, invisible chain was all it took to loop around the curse and squeeze them to death.

"Never seen a technique like yours, foreigner."

At the stranger's words, you paused. You hadn't sensed any cursed energy from the person sitting next to you, so how could they have known? Glancing to your side, you tilted your head in slight confusion as you examined the man sitting next to you

"what happened to 'hello'? 'how are you'? To introductions, in general?" There was a slight tease to your words yet your fingers subtly twitched by your side

The raven-haired man snorted in amusement, a slight smirk on his lips as he leaned back against the wall of the bench. His hands were in his pockets as he didn't once look your way.

"How long have you been here with them?" Something in his voice had put you on edge, but at the same time, you didn't feel imminently in danger.

"Long enough, give or take."

He made a face, "Like it, so far?"

You shrugged your shoulders, your eyes still on his silhouette as you answered, "Neutral, so far."

"So you haven't been here long enough," he sassed back earning a short snort from you.

"Oh? Why's that?" "You'll see, soon enough." And with that, he stood up, walking away from you without another word. You stared at his soul, watching it get tinier with every step he took.

You had met many dark blues, but the edges of his were... fuzzy. Not clearly definable. That was new.

Surprisingly, you didn't feel shook or concerned. You actually felt a rush of excitement, the sort you got from trying to solve the mystery of some crime show before the narrator could even reveal the truth.

Suddenly, Gojo appeared in the corner of your eye, his sunglasses pulled down his nose as his iridescent eyes gazed down at you.

His eyes were the only ones you had ever truly seen. You thought it was because of his Six-Eyes.

"Yo! Got the drugs," he said, to which you replied with a casual "Hm."

He narrowed his eyes, "What happened?"

So observant

You perked up, "What?"

He repeated, a small frown on his lips, "What happened?"

You shrugged, "Just an... interesting encounter, that's all."

Gojo knew better. But he also knew you.

"Alright, let's go. Mei Mei already left, and she wanted me to give you this," he said with displeasure in his voice as he threw a bag into your lap—a luxury brand bag. But not before handing you yet another bag, another luxury brand.

With a sense of curiosity, you gently untied the bag's ribbon and opened it, revealing a small box inside. Your fingers carefully lifted the lid, revealing the gift within as you opened the box

A single earring, a crescent moon hanging from it. It's metal glimmering under the setting sun (wow, time passed fast today)

"Now we can match!" Gojo said. Showing off his wrist, a silver bracelet with a sun hanging from it.

You snorted, "What about Suguru, hm?" (While you asked, you put the earring on without another moment's notice)

He rolled his eyes, revealing another bag matching your own, "His is here...ya like it, tho?"

Having stood up from where you sat, you smiled softly as you affectionately bumped your head onto his shoulder before motioning for him to walk with you. (You didn't get to see his grin, but you could feel it.)

"Let's go home, Gojo," you said, with Mei Mei's gift loosely wrapped around your wrist, knowing it could wait.

...

(A/N): Ugh, I keep having to come back to fix certain things so it can better fit my narrative. I keep writing these shits while being tired af, and when I wake up --- I forget my own canon 🙄

Anyways

Who do you think the rando guy is?

Also did you notice how you immediately checked Gojo's gift rather than Mei Mei's? In fact, you completely ignored her gift to you.

Moreover, have any of you noticed that whenever you get to know someone --- their name alters? I wonder what that implies for certain people.

And what does a fuzzy outline mean?

This was also supposed to take another turn but then the characters charactered and here we are now.

Drop a comment

Feel free to buy me a 🦩

Hope you enjoyed!

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theultimatekamehamehavoc · 1 month ago

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Spoiler Blather Ahead So Be Warned! I personally feel the tragedy would lowkey strip a part of Makoto's identity/make him grow out of this part of himself faster than he would if the tragedy didn't happen. Basically, Makoto mentions how he's a trend follower. His interests are dictated by what's popular. However, with the tragedy, he would be physically incapable of being in tune with the times. As the Ultimate Hope, Makoto would be quite busy. Sure, maybe he could keep up with a few things going on in the world, but he's already far behind by the time he becomes the Ultimate Hope. All of the survivors are. Due to their memories being wiped, they dunno until they are basically face to face with the Mastermind that a year has already passed and they have forgotten that part of their lives. So, they're all be out of the loop both in the state of the world AND whatever hip thing's popular. Furthermore, as time progresses, they all will be busy, having minimal time to keep up with the kids! They got work to do. Not to say that all of them would be out of touch millennials. For Byakuya, I feel he would be very in tuned with the stocks and the state of both Japan and the world. He would already have no interest in the trends of the common people. Not saying he wouldn't learn some stuff from the others but he'd just be that guy that the others would have to explain this new commoner stuff too. There's Kyoko who doesn't care for trends either though being more in the loop than Byakuya. Since she's a detective, being informed of current events would be helpful. Say there was a new app on phones that was shrouded in controversy. By knowing of it's existence, it'd be an aid for any potential cases with it. Kyoko's got good foresight and all. She would by no means be an expert with the trends of course, she too being busy with other tasks, but she'd at least know some info. Meanwhile, I feel Aoi would be in tuned with some stuff but not all. I can see her really being in tuned with swimming related stuff, it being her Ultimate and all and something I don't think she'd drop. So, she'd be the one to update the others on sports news and content. Meanwhile, Hiro is the type I feel would be clueless regardless but also somehow know current trends perhaps via predictions or by chance. Then there's Toko as well who I feel would be a bit more in with the times with her writing, knowing what's in but also staying in her lane. So, she wouldn't know the latest game the kids are obsessed with but she'd know the current books that are out or who the newest rising authors are. For Makoto though, I feel that, once he has time to understand what's going on, he'd be lost a bit on what's trendy. Not saying he wouldn't know anything or wouldn't participate. I feel that he'd be the type of guy who'd go watch Barbie and Oppenheimer for instance but he'd have to be updated a bit since he's a busy man now and can't fully dedicate his time to seeing what's in and what's out. He's not an unemployed teen; he's the Headmaster of Hopes Peak! Though, I feel that he'd be a bit updated on stuff due to the students but still a tad confused simultaneously. Some specific ways I feel he'd turn out during this stage of his life are the following: A) Makoto likes what was popular back in the early 2000's-2010s maybe due to nostalgia, coping, or just out of familiarity. B) He learns of new media, gaining a new sense of taste, maybe becoming akin to new songs and movies from the other survivors or from his students like learning about Vocaloid, indie Internet shows, and kpop. C) He actually becomes akin to new stuff going on (it's just in his genes to be a trend follower) and abandons the old content. D) A mix of the A) and B) where he ends up liking a mix of things, Makoto still liking old content from the 2000's era he remembers enjoying and liking the newer media. This isn't a definitive thought though and I would be happy to see others interpretations on this concept!!! An older Makoto and company would navigate the world, trying their best!

#danganronpa #danganronpa spoilers #danganronpa makoto #makoto naegi #danganronpa kyoko #kyoko kirigiri #danganronpa byakuya #byakuya togami #danganronpa toko #toko fukawa #danganronpa aoi #aoi asahina #danganronpa yasuhiro #yasuhiro hagakure #thh survivors #havoc rambles

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cimerran-714 · 1 year ago

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I figured that it would be helpful to call out ten of the most common pro-choice arguments that you might notice online. I'll preface it by saying that I am not a philosopher (or at least not yet), but I am a person with common sense, and you can see through these "arguments" if you have two brain-cells left.

Also, I understand that there are good PC arguments out there (although they are of course not successful, for a strong argument doesn't necessarily have to succeed). I am only arguing some of the most insane and ridiculous ones you'd spot.

If you want to go through some really good claims made by pro-choice/pro-abortion advocates, I'd recommend David Boonin's 'A Defense of Abortion'. It'd help you instead of you having to regurgitate whatever you are spoon-fed by the leftist cult. Go check out that book even if you're pro-life, because it's a great one.

Let's get started, shall we?

A human embryo/fetus is not human:

Yes, it's both human and alive. Biologists agree with this (including pro-choice biologists), and even pro-choice philosophers acknowledge this. This is basic empirical reality. And you only have to open an embryology textbook to know how wrong you are. Also, these people can never explain what species the fetus belongs to if not "Homo Sapiens".

2. It's just a "clump of cells".

All of us are made up of cells. Some are "clumpier" than others. And plus, it's not merely a clump of cells: the embryo is a human organism in its earlier stages of development, and very soon is also differentiated as it grows. That's like saying that it's okay to destroy a car because it's just "a bunch of metal thrown together".

3. It's not a person/sentient, yadda yadda:

Irrelevant and it's the same logic that slave-owners used to own people. Human rights is species-based, and the embryo/fetus is human. That's all that matters. These people love to make up ridiculous, arbitrary criteria to justify their bigotry.

4. You cannot force people to donate their organs...

Not the same thing at all. You cannot be forced to save people, but that doesn't mean you can actively kill them. This is the difference between killing someone and letting them die. There is a significant moral difference between deliberately pushing someone off a cliff and not saving someone who's hanging off a branch at a cliff. Abortion is the former.

5. Women would die...

All states have life-threat exceptions built into it, so this is just deflection. And yes, there are doctors who refuse to perform entirely legal abortions, but that is their fault. It IS legal. They're just cowards, and you can't blame the law for this because they already make this exception.

6. You cannot force your views onto others:

If you support democracy (and, you know, voting) you're forcing your views onto others. That's how law works.

7. The child would grow up in poverty, yadda yadda yadda...:

We don't kill born children because of these reasons, so it's a ridiculous claim. You don't solve poverty by killing the poor.

8. They are just pro-birth:

Statistics show that Republicans donate more to charity than Democrats. Also, just because they don't agree with your method of helping people doesn't mean that they don't care about born people. You see, it's like saying "A fire-fighter rescued someone from a fire, but they don't want to pay out of their pockets to look after them throughout their lives. They don't actually care!"

9. Showing pics of fetuses belonging to other species as a gotcha:

Yes, mammals of different species look the same in their earlier stages, but that doesn't mean there isn't a difference between them. This is, once again, bigoted slaver logic (to want to kill people based on their looks).

10. Men cannot have a say because:

As men are directly affected by this, they absolutely have a say. They are fathers too, and remember that they're the ones who have to pay child support.

There you go. I am not expecting you to be pro-life yet if you are not, but I hope that I have cleared your head up somewhat.

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crumblinggothicarchitecture · 7 months ago

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I read your fake smart-girl coded Taylor Swift post. Ended up on my feed because it was tagged philosophy. It was long enough that I caught a few words and actually read it. Honestly thought it was satire until I read your answers to other people.

I do not care about TS. But I do care about philosophy. You have a degree in it ? Funny, I have one too. You've read Aristotle ? I did too. But did you read though ? Did you really get into philosophy, and heard what the people you, I'm sure, can quote really well, actually said ? Because what it looks like, is that you got a degree in philosophy, but did not get philosophy at all. What makes me say that ? Your attitude, and that paragraph :

"Also, for the record, I don't think Taylor Swift knows anything of substance about Aristotle. I, on the other hand, took a three-hour long oral exam over Aristotle's life work while out-of-my-mind-high on Dayquil and pain meds after a surgery. I got an "A", and, somehow, I lived through that, I doubt the validity of Swift's claims to know anything at all about philosophy. Especially, considering how all her songs are about as deep as a puddle. "

Sounds like you're here to show off, and to make yourself look like something, without having a clue what it means to have the inclination of a philosopher. Or you know what it means, and you've lost it somewhere along the way.

If you've studied philosophy, and actually took time to read and understand the words of philosophers, you know not one of them would condone your attitude, the way you use their names, the way you're making your arguments. Having an A for an exam on Aristotle does not guarantee that you'll be able to make good arguments for the rest of your life. Nor does it guarantee that you understand his work, or are good at philosophy. It just means that, at one point, on a very specific part of Aristotle's work, you had enough knowledge to be rewarded with a good mark. It stops there. It does not mean anything else. Even if it was for your master's thesis. Sure, you know more than TS about philosophy and she fakes knowledge in her songd, but is showing off your grade and putting yourself as the center point of your argumentation the best way to convey that message ? No. You're trying to put her down by putting yourself above others. To anyone with a sense of philosophy, it just looks like you're a student who never understood the works he/she read, and focused on grades and others' approbation instead.

You care about your degree ? Re-read the books and make use of your ability to understand them. Not as a way to show off, but as a way to lean into the attitude a philosopher might have.

You write posts using philosophy ? Make it palatable to others, and show its uses. Be humble. Same thing for literature. The people whose books you read, they want knowledge to be spread. Studying philosophy should have, at the very least, helped you see that. The degree you got is here to push you to continue doing what all previous philosophers and writers did before you got to read them. Otherwise, your degree serves no purpose, other than satisfying your ego. At least, that's how it looks in that post.

Anyway, it'd just be nicer if you used your degree to show the benefits of philosophy, rather than to stroke your ego. Think about Socrates for a while. He asks questions, he makes simple arguments, he rarely talks about himself, he wants others to learn. That's the idea. Not showing off. Not being an ass to a girl you've never met. But being open for discussion, and make sound arguments, for others as well as yourself. What was the point of you fixating on the misuse of 'soliloquy' ? What did it bring to others ? And your anger towards TS, why ? Why write a whole post about it, shove it in her fans' face, what's the point ? Did anyone get anything positive from that ? And why bring your degrees and grades into the mix ? Anyone can make an informed and sound argument, even without a degree. What did it give you to say all those things ?

Fyi, I was taught philosophy in France. I know people in America and the likes get taught philosophy differently than how its done here. Wouldn't be surprised if there was a cultural difference in the way we understand the discipline. I've got a master's degree in the subject, and six years of study under my belt, if that matters to you. Was top of my class also. And I've lived with a philosophy teacher for eight years, too. In case you try saying I have no place speaking about philosophy the way I do.

There is barely anyone who gives a damn about philosophy. You're one of the few who cared about it enoigh to study it. Make good use of your degree, and don't be an ass to others.

Let me give you a piece of my mind, because, honestly, my dear friend, what are you doing?

Is this some kind of moral flex in which you prove to be the better person because you’ve never implied that there’s no way a certain person knows anything about Aristotle? You want to seem like the better person, because I took one single cheap-shot at Taylor Swift’s intelligence amid a full literary explanation as to why she is using a specific term wrong? Are you joking? You want to call into question my entire education? Because I said Taylor Swift is not as “deep-thinking” as she claims? Okay, yeah... you’re right I guess that makes my entire education invalid. My bad. I’ll go rip up my degrees.

First of all, let’s address your arrogance. You write, “Sounds like you are trying to show off, and to make yourself look like something, without having a clue what to means to have an inclination as a philosopher” (para.4) in response to me saying Taylor Swift probably doesn’t know anything about Aristotle. Yeah, obviously that line is a quick jab at Taylor Swift. So, what? Am I writing an essay? No. Am I writing a journal article? No. Am I writing to a conference committee with a submission of my finest work? NOpe. I’m saying that I would bet money that I know more about Aristotle while suffering the effects of surgery-induced delirium. It’s not that deep. It’s not meant to be a deep, philosophical take on the nature of Taylor Swift’s work. I’m throwing a metaphorical tomato at her, while yelling “boooo.” So, what? You say, “Play nice.” No. Taylor Swift is not my student, nor my friend. I, thus, have no obligation to try to teach, guide, or help Taylor Swift understand anything. I’m not her philosophy teacher, and, you know what, I don’t think she cares about philosophy at all. You know why she name-dropped Aristotle? It rhymes with “full-throttle” and “Grand Theft Auto” (Swift “So High School”). I’m laughing at her so-called poetical lyricism. In the same breath, I’m judging her for relegating Aristotle to a cheap throw-away line in a dumb pop-song in which she sings about how her football boyfriend makes her feel like she’s 16 again. It’s so mind-numbing.

I’m sad. It’s not anger that compels me, but sadness and disappointment. I’ve been a fan for nearly 15 years and my original post came from lamentations about outgrowing an artist I once respected. Granted, I might have been angry while writing that post (sue me about it).

I do respect Taylor Swift’s work enough to criticize it, however, do not twist my words to mean that as an attack on her personally. I do not wish harm to other human beings, yet it is worth noting that I talk in many other posts about my disgust towards her immoral actions. Even still, most of my posts about Taylor Swift are linguistic or literary criticisms meant to help me process this absolute let-down of an album. I’m also just practicing my literary criticism abilities (I start Grad School in like 2 months, so I’m trying to keep my skills sharp). It’s all low-stakes. And, you’re mad at me? You think I’m being mean? Why? You think that I’m “being an ass to a girl [I’ve] never met”? (para. 8). Taylor Swift is not a girl, first of all, she is older than me and I’m a grown woman. She is way richer, and way more powerful too. What is your point?

Let’s talk about the next line in question: “What is the point of you fixating on the misuse of ‘soliloquy’? What did it bring to others?” I’m fixating on the term soliloquy because Taylor Swift has been using this faux literary/ dark academia aesthetic to sell her records for years now. She’s wears “my coat” (if you catch my meaning). She’s using my real-life study as a way to sell shoddy, sloppy records. I’m going to call that out. Despite her using all the aesthetics of academia, she’s not intelligent enough to even just use the term soliloquy correctly. I noticed it right away, and so did many others. If she can’t even get small details correct about literature, why should I believe that she even knows anything about literature at all? It destroys her creditability. I’ve taught students the term ‘soliloquy” as high school kids. It’s not too much to ask for the biggest pop star in the world, and someone who claims the title of “good” writer, to teach herself what a soliloquy actually is before using it in a song just because it sounds similar to “sanctimonious.” If it’s wrong, she’s just wrong. She could have hired an editor. Now, I won’t go into the context of the line here, too much, but the whole line is her calling her audience a bunch of sanctimonious morons who are talking to themselves. (Is Taylor Swift playing nice enough for you? I wonder....)

Let’s move on.

Now, let’s talk about your concept of “inclination of a philosopher.”

You are correct in saying that often teaching Philosophy varies remarkably from country to country. I was weaned on the analytic philosophy, whereas I believe the French are more continental. (Correct me if I am wrong.) So, the effect of this is that I am obviously quite blunt and fond of Aristotelian logic. Who doesn’t love a good syllogism? A funky little linguistic proof? Yes? Still, I must remind you that I wasn’t really making an argumentative point about actual philosophy in relation to Taylor Swift.

To the crux of the issue, however, I must say that I was actually showing the inclination of philosophy by correcting the intrinsic flaws of the songs I disliked so much. What is philosophy if not the spirit of seeking truth and wisdom? Critique and analyzing poetical works often tie directly into the philosophical field of aesthetics wherein the goal is true, fruitful, understanding on how literary devices and aesthetic representation actually function. If anything is also in effort of seeking truth, surely, you see that critique and correction is? And asking for better workmanship? I was only mad, because mining Taylor Swift work for aesthetic meaning is like searching for Gold in a parking lot. : (

Next point: “to anyone with a sense of philosophy, it just looks like you’re a student who never understood the works they read, and focused on grades and others’ approbation instead.”

First of all, this is rude. You don’t know me. You read my honest, brief anger, that I managed to condense into a couple lines in one single tumblr post, and that gives you the audacity to say I’m a bad student who sought grades above all else? Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................. Okay, tell me why I spent hours in study rooms and sent countless emails begging for guidance through things I didn’t understand. Tell me why, I’ve stood in front of people and blatantly admitted that I did not understand the readings. Learning takes time, and there is no shame in taking your time. Grades are just letters. What matters is how the strength of what you learn impacts how you act in life. I’ve learned my lessons with all the ferocity of a child falling down a hill and running back up it again. I know my own intentions, and you don’t. I mentioned my "A" in the post really just to lend credibility, through professorial authority (lol), to the fact that I think Taylor Swift is fake smart.

Next: SocRaTeS? You're Joking! What is he doing here?

In an eternal quest for my own understanding, I often returned to Socrates. Did you not see my profile picture? Socrates is my homeboy. If ever I get to choose how to die, I will die like Socrates. Willingly, and with a full-bodied credulity of my own philosophical stances.

You say, “Think about Socrates for a while. He asks questions, he makes simple arguments.” First, he does not make simple arguments. Is it not a syllogism? He writes full dialectical structures. This is some of the most complex stuff I have ever read. Let’s talk about why: Over the centuries, we’ve come to call it the Socratic method. This method includes discursive questions meant to make people question not only others on their reality but to question the most internal mechanisms of the mind. It asks them to think about why we believe or hold the beliefs that we do. He, famously, likens it to a child's development in the womb. The questions are meant as an external way to engage with mechanistic development of thought itself- thus we untangle the dangerous thread of rhetoric internal to our own rational minds. It’s a type of meta-analysis of the self-more than it a simple game of question and answer. Like children from the womb, according to Socrates, we must develop our rational minds too. And, above all else, the Socratic method seeks truth.

Socrates would approve of my literary criticism of Taylor Swift, because I am using it to seek a higher truth. And, in some way, I am inversely questioning my own reasons for seeking what I do. I enjoy poems for a reason. I like to ask myself why I like what I do, and what meaning it brings through my unique perspective. (Applied to others as well, I love to hear from others). I critique Taylor Swift not because I hate her, but because I want to engage with the aesthetic qualities of the material world that elevate my ability to empathize, to think, to engage, to feel the world around me. I love art. I love reading, I want people to write with intelligence. You know then, the soul-crushing feeling of realizing an artist is actually bad. She rhymed Aristotle with Grand Thef Auto... Socrates himself would shudder. Socrates would also recognize that aesthetic quality ought to undergo critique and beauty interrelates to moral value. He was of the belief, and I dare say I believe it too, that beauty, aesthetic beauty, can be likened to moral value through the identification of ways in which it reveals the truth of our very souls. To him engaging with aesthetics is one way in which to reach out and connect the metaphysical to the material, in such awe-inspiring ways.

Ever been moved to tears by a painting? I have, but the question is WHY? That is why I critique literature, poetry, art... music. Whatever I can get my hands on really. I really want to find out, WHY? why was I crying in the Art Gallery, right next to the ice cream shop and everything.

You are perhaps right that I could make more of an effort to explain my points, and also the "moral of the story" or what I hope other people will take away from what I wrote. I’m only ever critical of something if I care enough to either love it or wish it was better so that I could love it. To be honest, I didn't think anyone would read my silly vent post about Taylor Swift, but here we are. I could do better. I usually save my real efforts for my published work, though.

And you, my dearest colleague, are apparently spineless. If your conviction on philosophy is that we must all be kind and precious to each other for fear of causing offense, then I think your career will sink like a rock. Socrates was mean as hell, though not spiteful or malicious. He was mean in the sense of asking people to take a good, long hard look in the mirror. I would ask Taylor Swift to look in the mirror too, but she has a whole song about how she’s not going to do that (Anti-Hero). As you see, I hope that I am not spiteful either. But I do want people to be better and make better art. Socrates would say the same. I say what I say and I mean it. Because I am desperate for something true and beautiful and real. There is no one on earth above reproach. There is no school of philosophy which suggests passivity is tantamount to intelligence. I will not be passive.

You say: “Make it palatable to others. Be humble”

How’s this for palatable: No <3. Why diminish myself? Why should I obfuscate and dance around my own hard-won intellectual skill? Why should I dumb it down? It is not egotistical of me to use my own skillset. Does a doctor not save lives? Do they apologize for using their skills? Does a mechanic not do the same? Does the poet not also do the same? What of the critic?

I can be humble, though. Humility is being self-aware enough to recognize that some might have a skillset more advanced than your own. I seek guidance and consistently challenge myself in academic endeavors. I can recognize the authority others have just as well as I can recognize my own authority. I will not, however, shrink down because you think I’m being too know-it-all-y.

Humility does not require that I speak only when choking back apologies for the audacity I have to speak. I am not sorry. I spent the last 6 years of my life working on two degrees while working 3 jobs. It was hard. I’m proud of myself. If someone feels upset that I speak about the field of study I have fought to participate in, well, I genuinely don’t know what to tell them. Intellect is not a threat (to most). I would say, “if you have a question, ask it.” I actually am very friendly despite my sharp tongue. I am a teacher to my bones <3 and I love my job.

Anyway, if I missed any of your points, misrepresented them, or offended you greatly- my inbox is always open. And I love a good, well-structured argument. However, next time can we talk about actual philosophy instead of you just attacking my character, thanks. <3 Obviously, I took offense. I think you meant to offend me though, for whatever reason. Really, I did go back and crack open a few books to write this, double check some things, so thank you.

Did you get your graduate degree in America? Would love to know. I am planning on getting another Master’s after I am done with this first one. I want to study aesthetics ( LOL).

Ps. Why can’t people show off? I love when people have a talent that they aren’t afraid to share.

#philosophy #anti taylor swift #ex swiftie #english literature #literary criticism #socrates #philosopher in training- dont worry about it #english lit student #academia #aesthetics #literary aesthetics

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