#i just did an underdog game like the enter time i thought i was gonna fucking lose

[thegirlisuedtobe]

someone take catan online away from me

[drakor127]

So you can find a lot of this on the “What is the Wham Army?” page on JCMorrigan's blog –Essentially, this is the universe she created for her fanfic “Taking Back the Crown,” which is about…basically her favorite villains all moving into the same house and trying to take over the multiverse. And then it got lore. And more lore. Because she cannot write anything normal. The fic is at its 170th chapter and she's nowhere near exhausted of all the ideas she wants to put in it – it’s just a big playground for hyperfixation fun. Anyway, here’s a rundown of the major points of my version, Team Nocturne! Like the WHAM ARMY, Team Nocturne is basically a chaos team of my favorite villains. They’re underdogs. Even the OP ones are underdogs. It’s a rule. If you’ve joined Team Nocturne, you’ve automatically decided to sit at the loser table, but you get a pretty neat found family out of it all.

THE CAST

The main characters are the villains who are the founders of Team Nocturne. The faction name is literally because one of the members chose it and wouldn't say otherwise. They’re my ultrafaves, the villains I always get fluttery heart for, and probably the biggest collection of misfits you can imagine. I’ll put the core members here and give you some background on how each entered the team.

Seiren (Suite PreCure) - The girl of the hour and co-founder and co-leader of the team. So the connecting factor between these people is that Seiren is their team leader along with a certain noble and the one who decided to build the team in the first place. She starts by dragging Louise to Minor Land and decided to use this as a way to triumph over the PreCure and good in general. She is a loony, likes to break shit and has fun doing it.

Louise De La Vallière (Familiar of Zero) - Canon starts by her being summoned by Seiren and Noise, she ain't complaining though. Louise IS a villain and I will duel you. Yes, she is hated by some but her actions really made sense to me with her feelings toward everyone bullying her sooooooo.

Vathek (Skylanders) - Takes place after his imprisonment in stone, being freed by Louise made him realize that he needed a specialized team to take the Dragon Throne and then every other world, so why not help his new master make one to not only take the Dragon Throne, but also get revenge on all who wronged them. And yes I did play Skylanders, it has charming characters, unique mechanics each game and one time it had this absolute GLAMOROUS TRASH LORD! No thoughts, head empty, only Vathek. Skylanders is a good franchise in my eyes specifically because it caters to my exact specific brand of heroes and villains and that's where we are. He is Malefor's actual child. Prove me wrong. You can't. Because he is. Also Able vibes and you know I love me them Able vibes.

Hibiki and Kanade Otonokoji (SDRA2) - Takes place after chapter 3 (no digital and age twist, that can of worms shouldn't be open) after being revived along with five other ones. Kanade has them yandere vibes and you know I love me some yandere vibes. And yes I'm gonna make Hibiki hang with cool kids.

Archibald Snatcher (Boxtrolls) - Met the duo after his death in film canon. He was annoying Noise a lot by claiming that he wasn’t actually supposed to die, seeing as he isn’t allergic to dairy (he is but don't tell him I said it, good way to die). This guy is JCMorrigan's best boi and I love this red hatted dimwit.

Roman Torchwick (RWBY) - takes place after V2 during the Creature Shifter story, met the duo in the Underworld because of pestering Easy to try and send him along with his team back, believing they were not even supposed to be dead. At the same time as Hibiki and Archie are already pestering her. Roman literally has high energy and no clue what he's doing.

Aria (Akame Ga Kill/RWBY) - Takes place after the Creature Shifter story. Usually I tend to adopt Big Bads (Archibald, Altair, Cyclonis) but Aria is that starter boss who stood out to me as "You. You are fun." She literally did a Snatcher monologue about why she killed Sayo, for Pete's sake. (And I'm sure she's stood out to other people for...other reasons... you know what I'm talking about)

Cyclonis (Storm Hawks) - Takes place after the finale, she was handed a save by Easy blasting the Condor and atomizing the Storm Hawks. She is literally Electra from the Hercules animated series with crystal magic and much more fruity.

Neo (RWBY) - What? Can't have Roman without Neo, it's not kosher.

Garrat Nargo (Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patoranger) - So just before he went boom, he was summoned to Halkeginia, and decided to help his new boss take over the Multiverse. He ain't a nice kitty, good people; in fact, he might be the worst I know of. All he cares about is spreading chaos, but not without a smile, not without laughing. To him, evil is the greatest joy of all. That’s why it’s never certain if he loves his crew or not, but no matter how much anyone bleeds, he always comes back for more, and more, and more, laughing all the way at their sweet despair. (Yes, he does look like Ikuto Tsukiyomi from Shogo Chara, don't ask.)

Natalie Senshi (SMG4) - She was working as a barmaid before this, and wanted to get even with Meggy. She has the same energy as Thomas Barrow, y'know the guy who went full "kidnap the lord's dog in order to find her later for a reward, except I lost the freaking dog".

Mimi and Sheshe (Mermaid Melody) - They needed some musical talent. I have welcomed these two into the fold, I love these fishy idiots, I want them to actually feel safe doing evil.

Linda (Hyperdimension Neptunia) - Linda was looking for a job and lo and behold. This is literally Anime Billie Eilish with two braincells and I love her.

Mera Salamin (Epithet Erased) - joined to have fun, cause chaos and live life. I want Mera to feel happy about being a bad bitch, and I'll duel all who disagree.

Sho Minamimoto and Coco Atarashi (The World Ends With You) - Were dragged out of the Underworld to join the team. Still haven't seen anything to do with NEO TWEWY. I'm now feeling more warm to the idea but I have lots of other things I wanna watch/play/read first, so I'll get there when get there. I have heard that it just makes Coco not a villain anymore though which I'm not jazzed about. I didn't order this, I didn't ask for this, send it back, don't give the chef my regards. And so it's like...I don't like what ended up happening to Coco but I LOVED what happened to Sho and the dynamic between the two of them so what do I want here? And I think in the end what I want is the two of them breaking out to just be like "We like being evil but not when Joshua is calling the shots."

Uzi Doorman, N, V and J (Murder Drones) - Joined the team to settle the score with JCJenson. These four are literally psychos and I love them.

Harry, Manny and Robin (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared) - Were convinced to join the team. These three are in fact villains in my eyes. I have ensured it so they can hang out with the cool kids. I'll duel you all.

Taylor Lee and Albert Krueger (Therapy with Dr Krueger) - Joined by way of invitation, besides Taylor loves the idiots. Albert will literally state an eyeball is a ball as it is a sphere and Taylor is just along for the ride.

Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) - Was revived to join the team. This guy is the OG Mama's boy and I love this man.

Luna Girl and Motsuki (PJ Masks) - Joined to beat the PJ Masks at their own game. Also Luna stuck out to me as the PJ Masks villain that makes me think "You. You are fun." (And I'm sure she's stood out to other people for reasons you know what I'm talking about, the LunaxGekko fans.)

Jinx (Teen Titans) - (Takes place before redemption) Luck bender added to a team of crackjobs with a undead dragon and a witch for the leaders, what could go wrong? Jinx IS a villain and I will duel you. I have welcomed her into the fold, I love this idiot, I want her to actually feel safe doing evil.

Altair, Mamika Kirameki and Alicetaria February (Re:Creators) - Joined mostly because Coco adopted them and Altair loves the crazy ones. And I have put Alice and Mamika here so they can hang with the cool kids, I'll duel those who disagree.

Baron Nero, Madame Noir, Miss Gritta and General Schwarz (ToQger) - Joined by being freed from Hei after Team Nocturne helped Gritta out.

The Jaegers (Akame Ga Kill) - After the team met with Altair and her team, Vathek suggested they try their hand at the Empire, it was more successful and the team got these seven on the team by pure strength. These 7 are just pure energy.

League of Villains (MHA) - Need someone besides All For One in control.

Anyway, this crew is a squad of evil buddies who like hanging out, tearing up the stage on karaoke night, and razing kingdoms to rebuild to suit their brand of tyranny with an iron fist. Though given this group’s tendency to put flash and glamor before strategy, they’re slightly more successful at the former than the latter…though you’d be a fool to underestimate them. When at the top of their game, they can kick gods in the balls. Currently, they live in Louise's room at the Tristainian Academy of Magic.

And the ships are Esdeath/Roman (WhiteHatBlackHat), N/V, Kanade/Aria (BloodyRhythm), J/Mamika (RoboSlayer), Uzi/Mimi/Sheshe (TechnoMusic), Jinx/Altair (MetaLuck), Linda/Natalie (SquidGame), Seiren/Louise (MagicTone), Mera/Neo (BlueberrySorbet), Coco/Toga (BloodReaper) and Cyclonis/Hibiki (StormMelody, which is an OTP to end all, I would die for them, many feels, many sins)

THE SETTING

So as you have probably gleaned, the multiverse setup is largely based on My Hero Academia and Kingdom Hearts, which is one of my favorite things (in the KH1 through Fragmentary Passage era anyway). There are many worlds that can be visited either by Gummi Ship or Corridor of Darkness. Basically any sorcerer can use Corridors in this ‘verse if they’ve opened their souls to Darkness (Aka Rui, Altair and Seiren are their transports).

The implication is that every world represents a separate “story” or part of one. As in if it’s a work of fiction HERE, it’s a world THERE. Some characters are actually savvy enough to know they’re fictional (e.g. Altair, Natalie, Neo). Most of them aren’t built to handle the news, though, and just shrug it off if told. (No, really, the powers that be prevent them from taking that news seriously if they’re not from something that regularly leans on the fourth wall anyway.) But sometimes, things get AU’d in without their full worlds. I was inspired by how Final Fantasy is treated in canon KH, and once I started bringing in more FF stuff by the same method, I felt motivated to do that with MORE fandoms if I felt the characters could be divorced from their settings and histories easily. I’ve done it for most Disney Channel non-animated properties as well as Satellite City (ain’t that the worst combo you’ve ever looked at). I’m planning to do it for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn because I’m coming up on a location I want to delve into the civilization of but don’t have many canon characters for, so guess what, you get the FE cast now.

THE STORY

For the first major “book” of my version of TBTC, Team Nocturne stole the Legendary Score and plan to sink everyone into the sorrowful abyss. All they have do to is collect all the notes needed for kt. In order to do this, they visit the worlds of Familiar of Zero, Skylanders, Super Sentai, Danganronpa, KH, RWBY, Akame Ga Kill, Storm Hawks, Okami, Wakfu, PreCure, Kamen Rider, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and many many more. The heroes catch wind of what they’re doing and start assembling. After many madcap adventures full of memes, chaos, drugs, suffering (not in the way you think, it was still full of comedy), and just pure fun, Team Nocturne got sent to the World of One Piece and overthrew the government trying to find Notes. This is also the part where we slowburn up to the major Team Nocturne ships and many Sky Gang ships. In the end, Team Nocturne actually get all the notes and figure out that they can amplify it, and Noise starts getting ideas.

The second “book” of this story. While the Sky Gang is bolstering their forces. Team Nocturne, on the other hand, are gathering up for plunging everything into silence, starting with Atlantis (Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire) and using portals to link to other territories of interest. While Team Nocturne goes through a to-do list of what they need before they can launch such a massive invasion, the Sky Gang finds strength in numbers because the writing’s on the wall that between Noise and Louise, things are gonna get pretty weird, and as evil builds, good will need to rise to protect the innocent.

Anyway, as I had said in the post you saw– I basically take everything fictional I love and shove it into this AU for daydreams because it lets me imagine my faves having CROSSOVER INTERACTIONS and doing cool epic stuff on a multi-world scale. (But as much as I’ve talked up the epic aspect, a lot of it is just…like…evil people fucking around and having karaoke and D&D nights) Anyway, I hope this gives you a good sense of the madness, and I hope it serves as a reminder to everyone that they can and should just. Make a daydream and/or fanfic universe that’s indulgent as hell. Just do it.

[sarcasticace]

TLovm reaction/thought dump, ep 7, 8, 9 let’s go!!!

- i like the flashback at the beginning of ep7. it really develops these character who were really... not much more than names previously. even if ander’s motivation is a bit on-the-nose. but he doesn’t really need to be deep. he’s just a regular guy who did a horrible thing because he’s a horrible person

- which is also why i still don’t like that stonefell was made into... the wiki says duergar. presumed of course. but they’re still considered an “evil” fantasy race and tlovm plays into that. idk why the change was necessary. just make them a regular human, elf, elc etc. 

- i know where vax’s anger is coming from, but that “i will not hesitate. I WILL kill you” sounds forced.

- ohhhhh the backstory behind the pepperbox is SO COOL in animation.

-”who’s the sixth barrel for” and the fucking shadow!!!!

- not that i dislike the thing vex, vax, and keyleth have going on, but can we also give grog and scanlan some more serious moments that aren’t comic relief.

 - i find it interesting how tlovm and the original campagin have two different takes on scanlan’s solo raid on the mansion. because originally scanlan is a badass bard who is disrespected by the likes of vex. he has moments of seriousness and strategy. his raid of the mansion is all panic and improv. tlovm kinda depicts him a bit of a clown. but also an underdog trying for respect. and his teammates do respect him to a degree, but only behind his back and in moments of hardship. both versions have the same endresult, but they are also kinda different characters. like tlovm’s scanlan seems like a younger version of C1 scanlan.

- im not the biggest fan of how much of a leader vex is depicted as. i mean, if it’s anyone, it should be her atm. but vox machina has one brain cell and she does not have custody of it that often. girl wanted to storm whitestone originally. 

- “never listen to me again” stop talking then.

- “let’s not be rash, percy” she says after assuming the worst of scanlan five seconds ago.

- im tired... of constant comic relief grog. pls i just want my goliath barbarian back. the scene with him turning on his friends is good and dramatic. i just wish they made him more serious more often. because i feel like... if i watched this having known nothing about critical role, it loses something. he’s only serious moment has been with pike (and that one short moment with vax). the rest of the time he’s just the big dumb idiot who wants to kill things played for laughs.

- i love everything about keyleth trying to heal cass. from her spell components, the mutterings under her breath, her surprise and excitement then rushing in to help her friends. marisha is really bringing her A game too. and then cass just passes out. 

-”you’re the face i saw when murder entered my heart.” holy shit taliesin. oh and the eye during the gunshot flash. there are so many screenshot worthy moments of percy. id love some background wallpaper of some of these scenes.

- you know, i wasn’t sold on cass’ design originally, but it’s grown on me. especially that single streak of white. and i love her VA. the deliver is really good. her soft voice, the sadness behind her words. it just really adds something that makes me love her more.

- i absolutely love pike’s arc. love how delilah’s attack was sort of the excuse for her mind to bring her issues forward. it’s not explicit, but i got the feeling this doubt was always there in the back of her mind. the broken holy symbol was just when it started coming forward.

- god it’s like... every other scene they gotta pause to give us more vax|eth moments. pls, im begging you, give us some bonding time with any couple involving keyleth that’s not vax. 

- PIKE PIKE PIKE!!!

- archie’s death actually kinda hit me. i wasn’t expecting that. i mean, i knew he was gonna get killed off for character development, but idk just the... brutal way what’s-his-name just bisects him. it was effective.

- ANNA RIPLEY CLIFFHANGER. 

[superfanficnatural]

Less Than Human

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Male!Reader

Summary: After a homophobic encounter, what you thought was going to be the worst day of your life, turned out to be not so bad when your boyfriend Dean got involved.

A/N: So I wrote this based off of something that happened to me 2 days ago. Everything that is in here is all stuff that actually happened to me, the descriptions, the thought process, the dialogue, everything. Up until the point Dean comes in. Writing this really helped me get through it and no one has to read but I’m putting this out there for anyone it might touch. Also, I’ve changed the names and instead of writing both Turkish then translating, I just wrote it in English. As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Homophobic Slurs and Encounter, Angst, Fluff.

Word Count: 4,137

Gif isn’t mine

You never expected it. It was like a car crash that came from your blind zone. Like the underdog team winning the game. 

You never expected it.

You woke up one morning on the couch, opening your eyes to notice the room surrounding you. A smile lit up on your face, noticing that you were in your apartment building in Turkey, on vacation. With the virus, being stuck at home back in the US was nothing short of lackluster and dull. Thankfully, the flights had finally opened up and you were able to fly over. You were overjoyed, excited to see your friends and family once again after not seeing them for a year. Your first day was spent unpacking at home and essentially rushing to the neighborhood where most of your friends and family hung out, eager to be able to see them once again. Since then, you had spent every day with your friends, desperately making sure that you were busy all day. They were excited that you had returned as well, all of them waiting on your arrival since you had first bought the plane ticket. 

Getting out of bed, your dad was sitting on one of the chairs at the table towards your right.

“Finally awake huh?” he asked, shoving his phone in your face to show the time was 3pm. 

You moved the phone out of the way, “Slept at 7am, still got jet lag.”

“Sure,” he simply responded, going back to his phone.

You rolled your eyes with a smile and got up, “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

Moving past him and into the corridor, you walked past your father's bedroom and the kitchen to get to the bathroom, going inside and closing the door behind you. As you took your shower, you smiled, already ecstatic to get to your friends once again. You usually loved to take your time and enjoy your shower but your excitement got the best of you, rushing to finish it as you got out and dried yourself off. Clearing the foggy mirror, you grabbed your hairdryer and began to dry out your hair, pushing it in the direction you wanted to style it in. After your hair dried, you grabbed your hair product and spread it across your fingers, applying it to your luscious locks and washing the residue off of your hands.

“Make sure you brush your teeth!” your dad yelled out from behind the door.

With the toothbrush already in your hand, you gave up the argument forming on your lips and got to brushing, getting rid of your morning breath. Getting out of the shower, you walked into your father’s bedroom and threw your towel into the washing machine, walking over to the living room and pausing by the door frame.

“Close your eyes,” you told him, seeing him on the couch on his phone still.

He dramatically sighed, “Ok.”

You walked in, “Not my fault you’re in my ‘room’, maybe go hang out in your own?”

With his eyes still closed he responded, “Not my fault your ‘room’ is the living room.”

“God, you have a response for everything don’t you?” you scoffed.

He didn’t respond as you grabbed a pair of underwear and put them on, telling him that it was ok to open his eyes. Looking around at what you had brought, you had decided to wear your khakis with your white baseball tee, grabbing your black Ray Band glasses from the table and placing it on top of your head, completing your outfit. After putting your wallet and phone into your pocket, you turned to him.

“Ready to go?” you asked.

“Ready,” he got up from the couch and followed you into the hallway, walking up to the front door with you.

As you bent down to put on your shoes, you stalled, “Should I wear the black ones or the white ones?” you asked, wary about what would compliment your outfit.

“Who cares? It’s not like you need to look perfect for paparazzi at every second, you aren’t famous.”

“Well one, ouch. And two, just freaking tell me which one!” you were tired of the little game he had been playing with you all morning.

He dramatically sighed again, “The white ones.”

“Thank you,” you rolled your eyes.

After putting on your shoes, you tied the laces and was just about to close the door before you froze in place, “I forgot my mask and my keys!” you turned back around and ran into the living room, grabbing your mask and keys off of the desk.

As you returned to the front door, your father was looking at you incredulously, “You forgot the two most important things you need?”

You were tired of his sass and noticed that he himself didn’t even have his mask, “Oh really? Well then, where is your mask?” 

His face went slightly pale and you began to chuckle, “That’s what I thought.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled and walked past you and into his own bedroom, walking back out with his mask in his hand.

“Move your ass! We gotta get going!” you left the door open as you ran down the steps, reaching the bottom floor and opening the front door.

“Oh I’ll move YOUR ass!” he yelled, coming into view as you were laughing.

You held the door open for him, “Ladies first,” you gestured outside the door with your hand.

He smacked the back of your head as he walked out, you closing the door with a scoff. The two of you made your way to where the Taxi’s usually parked, flagging one down and getting in, your dad telling him where to go. As you sat in the back seat, you looked down at your phone to see a text message from one of your friends that worked at your uncle's shop.

Where are you?

It was sent about ten minutes before and you sighed in annoyance, not feeling the buzz in your pocket. As you typed out your response, the instant message of ‘ok’ returned, giving you the impression that he was waiting for you. 

As the Taxi ride continued, your father turned back to you slightly, “What are your plans for today?”

“My plans with a few friends got cancelled so I’m probably going to just hang out at the shop with my friends who work there. Maybe call John and see if he wants to hang out,” you responded, remembering that your cousin wanted to meet up.

He nodded and turned back to face the road, your eyes following the movement and noticing that you were almost at your destination. After a few more minutes on the road, the driver stopped as your dad gave him the money for the trip. Getting out of the car, you looked around the familiar neighborhood and turned to face the workplace that you spent most of your days. Your friends were too busy running around to give out orders to notice you, so as you walked up and entered the establishment, they turned to see you and smiled.

“Took you long enough to get here, help us out a bit,” Teddy asked, walking past you with an order to place it on one of the tables.

The workplace was owned by your uncle, a tiny little dessert shop with the sidewalk being used as a sitting place, leaving some room for civilians to walk by as well. Usually when you came to Turkey every summer, you spent your free time working with them, not getting paid but just helping out and gaining some work experience; forming a close relationship with the two men who worked there. 

“Can you take these orders out to table three?” Peter asked you, handing you two of the plates with decorated sweets placed utop them.

Grabbing it from his hands, you turned to instantly get to work, your mind going into overdrive to keep up with the orders and customer service. After about an hour, everything had calmed down and the three of you managed to finally sit down.

“So, got any plans for today? Your girlfriend gonna take you out again?” Teddy asked.

You rolled your eyes, “She’s not my girlfriend, and no, I have no plans.”

“Looks like you’re stuck with us,” Peter wrapped his arm around your shoulder with a smile.

You smiled in return, “Looks like.”

From then on, it was actually a really boring day, almost no customers coming by. As you were sitting at one of the tables outside on your phone, Teddy came out with the motorcycle keys in his hand.

“I’m gonna go pick up Anna from the house, I’ll be back soon,” he walked past you and got onto the motorcycle, turning the key in the ignition and speeding off. 

You knew he lived close so you wouldn’t have to wait long, turning to see Peter walk out of the store and lean against the frame of the door. You were close with both of them but were closer with Teddy, something about the way your personalities just complimented each others made you grow incredibly close. It might have also helped that he was incredibly attractive, muscular but not too much, his face looking as if it were carved by a master carpenter. You got out your phone, intending to call your cousin to see if he was available before pausing and hovering over his number. Even though he was only a few months younger than you, his immaturity really rubbed you the wrong way and you had trouble spending time with him without lashing out and calling him out on his immature actions. Turning off your phone, you put it into your pocket and let out a sigh, knowing that the rest of the night would be relatively uneventful. You didn’t have to wait long before you saw Teddy speeding down the road with Anna sitting behind him, her smiling at you as the two of you made eye contact. He parked the bike right next to you on the road and turned off the ignition, Anna climbing off before he did. 

You got up out of your seat and greeted her, “Hey, Anna! How are you?”

She kissed both of your cheeks before pulling back, “I’m good, just finished work. Took a shower and Teddy came to get me from the house.”

Teddy went back into the store and talked with Peter as you sat down with Anna and began to have a conversation. The hours passed and you had moved around, alternating between sitting down outside and going back into the store to talk with whoever was still inside. Eventually, it was around 10pm where a few other friends had come by and sat down, the store basically empty, allowing all of you to sit down with them. Though, Teddy stayed back inside, something you didn’t pay too much attention to as your concentration was brought back into the conversation to make sure you understood everything they said. The talking flowed freely, the group changing from topic to topic whenever one died out. Eventually, Anna spoke up.

“There was this gay guy who came into my store and I was so weirded out,” she visibly shivered in her seat.

You fought back the urge to furrow your eyebrows and look disgusted, masking it with a smile, “Why were you weirded out?”

She looked at you, “The way he walked,” she moved her hand next to her head in a bent position and angled it to look like she was holding a purse with her palm up, “the way he talked,” she raised her voice an octave and made it sound different.

“Do feminine gay guys weird you out?” you asked, unbelieving that she could have said such a thing.

She laughed, “No!”

You sighed in relief.

“All gay people weird me out, they’re disgusting!” she exclaimed.

It took almost everything in you to not cry and reach over to slap her right across the face. You were frozen in your seat, the sounds of everyone laughing around you fading into the distance as you focused all of your willpower to not crack. The faint calling of your name registered in your ears and it took a few seconds for you to be brought back into reality, looking over to the girl that had just spit venom from her mouth.

“Don’t tell me you think they’re normal?” she asked, a confused look on her face.

You were stuck. Not knowing of whether to come out right there and grill her for her disgusting ideology or to stay quiet, not be a victim of their hurtful words.

“I’m ok with them, they can love whoever they wanna love, it’s none of our business,” you shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant while in fact, you were breaking on the inside.

“You’re kidding right? God didn’t create us so that we can go fuck our own gender, all of them are gonna go to Hell,” one of the men spat. 

You stayed quiet, not wanting to add anything more and simply just unable to even form words. They went around, swapping stories of their encounters with the ‘faggots’ and ‘the less than human’, all of them laughing at the snide remarks they added to their stories. All the while you sat there, taking it all without a single response. It felt like an endless barrage, an attack that had no end in sight. Your heart and your brain were at odds, your brain telling you to keep quiet so you won’t be the victim, and your heart telling you to silence them. In the end, your brain won, a stupid sense of wanting to keep your friends taking over your thoughts and feelings. It went on and on for what seemed like forever, their laughs haunting you like a nightmare, for you were sure to have many of them moving forward. Hearing homophobic statements and slurs your entire life, you thought that you had gotten used to it. But being reminded that you would always be seen as less than human, a stain on existence, a waste of space, wasn’t something that was easy to move forward from; especially to hear it from those you thought were your friends. 

Eventually, you couldn’t take it anymore and you stood up from your seat, telling everyone that it was late and you had to be home. After wearing a fake smile and saying goodbye to everyone, you left and got into the nearest taxi, choking out your address from your tightened throat. The entire ride home, you didn’t cry, didn’t make any noise. You simply sat there, staring out the front windshield, watching the world pass you by in your seat. You didn’t even pay attention, your eyes still playing the scene from before on repeat. Before you knew it, the taxi had come to a halt, the driver telling you how much you owed. After fishing out enough money from your pocket, you gave it to him and got out of the car, slamming the door a bit too hard. You got out your phone and noticed that you got a text message from your dad.

I’m going to be staying at your uncle’s house tonight, be safe.

You didn’t even bother replying as you yanked out the keys from your pocket and unlocked the door, walking up the stairs to your apartment and going inside. You took off your shoes and walked into the living room, throwing your keys and wallet on the table, getting out your phone and throwing it on the couch, placing yourself onto it as well. You sat there in silence, tears streaming down your face as you stared at the wall, the scene from before still repeating. It was as if the wall was having a projector aimed towards it, a movie of what had happened being played in front of you. 

You were pulled out of your ‘movie’ by the buzzing of your phone next to you, the name of your boyfriend lighting up on your screen. You reached over and looked at the call for a few moments longer, trying to void yourself of emotion before answering.

“Hey,” you greeted.

“Hey yourself, how are you?” your other half responded from the other side of the line.

“I’m alright, how are you?” you forced a smile on your face, trying to make your voice come out chirpy.

“Nothin much, there was no hunt so Sam was in the library all day while I was missing you in my bedroom,” Dean responded, a twinkle in his voice that normally would have made your heart rate increase and a blush to spread across your face. 

Instead, the reminder of your sexual orientation did nothing but make you choke on a sob as you covered your mouth so he wouldn’t hear.

“Y/N? Babe are you ok?” he rushed out, a worried tone coming through clearly, indicating that he in fact did hear you.

You couldn’t even respond, trying to hold in the noises your throat was threatening to release.

“Y/N?! Y/N, what’s going on?” he pressed, a shuffling noise coming through on the phone. 

You knew that if you stayed on the line that he would know you were crying so you hung up, gently placing your phone besides you as your body racked with sobs. Suddenly, a sound of wings flapping entered your ears. As you looked up from the ground, you saw Dean and Cas standing in the middle of the room, Dean instantly rushing up to you as Cas flew away. His arms wrapped around you in lightning speed and the feeling of his warm embrace served to make you sob even harder, your hands flying up and holding onto the lapels of his flannel for dear life. 

“I’m here, everything is alright,” he soothed, gently rubbing your back and holding the back of your head close.

Your entire body was rocking with the force of your sobs, your eyes clenched tightly as your emotions flowed through you, forming into small droplets of liquid and pouring from your eyes. 

After crying out everything that you could, you slowly pulled away from each other and you looked into his eyes to see nothing but concern and love in them.

“What’s going on? Talk to me,” he whispered softly, grabbing your hands with his own and bringing them up to his mouth to lay a gentle kiss.

You smiled through your tears, “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course I would come, my boyfriend isn’t allowed to be sad without me being there to make him happy again,” you knew Dean always struggled with finding the right words to say in moments like these but you severely appreciated hearing them nonetheless. 

You instantly told him about what had happened, pausing at some points to collect yourself and get through the entire story. Throughout your explanation, you could see Dean getting more and more furious, his green eyes hiding a bright red fire behind them. As you came to the end of your story, you wiped a few tears from your eyes and looked to Dean, noticing that he closed his own, perilously trying to keep his anger at bay. 

He opened his eyes after a few moments, “What do you say we put on a movie and I go get some comfort food?”

You expected him to yell out and say he was going to go kill them so you were surprised by the soft tone he spoke with.

“Uh, yeah, yeah that sounds perfect,” you mustered up a smile.

He grinned softly at you, “I’ll be back soon.”

Dean walked out of the room and exited the apartment, praying for Cas to come.

As Cas arrived, “Dean, what is it?”

“I can understand Turkish completely but I can’t speak it fluently, I need you to do some mojo and allow me to,” he requested from the Angel.

He solemnly nodded, already knowing exactly what happened. He walked up and placed two fingers on his forehead, his eyes and fingers flashing a bright light before he pulled away, “I moved the language to the forefront of your thoughts so you should be able to speak it easily now.”

“Thanks, also, I need you to fly me to Y/N’s workplace, I’m sure they’re still there and I need to have a few words with them.”

Cas nodded once again and placed his hand on his shoulder, flying them over in light speed. 

Taking a look around, Dean noticed that they were across the street from the group you were with before, still chatting away in the same position they were in before, “Stay here.”

He didn’t wait for Cas to respond before marching across the street and coming to stand at the front of the table, looking down at everyone sitting there.

“Can we help you?” one of the men asked.

He smiled sarcastically, “Yeah, there’s a few things I need to discuss with you.”

He reached down and grabbed the man, picking him up and slamming him down on the table, so hard in fact, that the table had broken and everyone in their seats rushed to get up and out of the way. They all turned to Dean and while Anna took a few steps back, the rest of the men got ready to start throwing punches. Even though there were still three left, Dean was both confident in his abilities, and confident that he would beat the living hell out of them for what they did to you. The closest one ran up and swung at him, Dean blocking it easily and clocking him across the jaw, the bone breaking underneath his fist. He dropped to the floor instantly and the remaining men froze in fear before snapping back and continuing the fight. They decided that attacking him at once would increase their chances at success, and while that would normally work, Dean wasn’t some novice fighter. He expertly blocked all of their attacks and purposefully hit them in places that wouldn’t knock them out, wanting them to physically feel the pain that you emotionally felt. After getting bored, he blocked their coordinated punch and grabbed their heads, slamming them together and instantly putting them to sleep.

Turning to his right, he noticed Anna immobile, stuck in place with her terrified gaze fixated on Dean’s angry one. He slowly stalked up to her before deciding against doing anything physical, still having a sense of what was right and wrong before slowly returning his arm at his side.

“The things you said to Y/N was fucking disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself,” his perfect accent and word choice struck him by surprise but he continued. “How dare you hate someone for their preference in love? They love the same goddamn way you love, live the same way you live,” he curled his nose in disgust. “They have the right to do whatever the fuck they want, just like you do. And for them going to Hell? I’ve been there sweetheart,” he sneered, “I already know you have a place down there just waiting for you.” 

Her scared expression was getting worse and worse from every word he spoke and he was reveling in it. He had gone there for you but also for himself, he was attracted to his own gender as well and hearing what they said angered him. He decided that enough was enough and walked back across the street to Cas, asking him to take him to a restaurant that had your favorite food. After picking it up, he asked Cas for one last favor of the night, to fly him to where you were. 

Once Cas had ‘dropped him off’, he went inside with the key he had snagged before leaving and went up to your apartment, opening the door and walking in to see you with a movie ready to play.

“Hey, you took a bit and I was getting worried,” you got up from your seat and went to hug him, pulling away for him to pull you into a deep kiss. 

Not seeing him for a while was really starting to affect you, and with the day that you had, that kiss was more than enough to help you get through it. You both pulled away with smiles on your faces, your hand intertwining with his, no marks of a fight on them thanks to Cas.

You sat down with him and ate, watching the movie together and sharing a few kisses here and there. You had never expected what had happened earlier that day, but thanks to Dean, you knew you were going to be alright. 

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp​ @shadowsinger11​ @donnaintx​ @flamencodiva​ @impala-1979​ @talesmaniac89​ @winchest09​ @malfoysqueen14​ @deanwanddamons​ @waywardbeanie​ @anathewierdo​ @janicho88​ @katehuntington​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​

Male Reader Tag List: @beka-dreamer​ @brymalibu​ @myybebe @kingreidx​ @spnfanboy777​

[saijspellhart]

Things I binged recently:

(Still coping with grief and depression, and one of the ways I tend to do that is just to distract myself from it all with Netflix. Here are some things I watched or tried watching. And my thoughts on them.)

The Office: Hated this show. Which was a shame because I really really enjoyed Parks and Rec, and these shows are supposed to be similar in style. Unfortunately this show is cynical, mean, and pessimistic. Characters get away with being outright racist, sexist, and antagonistic. Are unapologetic about their hurtful actions, and it sickens me. I was told season one was bad, and to watch season two, and I did. And even season two was awful. And I shouldn’t have to slog through three seasons of a show before it gets to a point where it’s like-able and good. If it takes you three seasons to figure it out, then no thanks. That’s a lot of show I have to suffer through before I MIGHT get to something I enjoy. I loved Parks and Rec because the characters loved and cared about each other, had genuine friendships, aspirations, and optimism. They strived to better the world around them, despite many mishaps and obstacles along the way. Parks and Rec was uplifting and sincere, where The Office is cynical and mean. 1/10.

A Whisker Away: Good, although I found the romance between the main character and her crush to be insincere and weak. I think the message of love would have been stronger if the best friend ended up being the one going to rescue her in the end. It never felt like the boy actually had feelings for her, just a begrudging respect and budding friendship. And it felt like his feelings were guilted and coerced by her actions to run away in the end. Like, “shit, I messed up and she ran away from home. Better tell her I love her, so she comes back home.” I understand that wasn’t what they were trying to do in this film, but it’s how the relationship came across. Manipulative. Especially since most of it was one sided, with her spying on his life as a cat. The love someone has for a pet does not equate romantic affection. Excellent movie for the heavy themes, Magic, and story, just think the overall message and relationships should have been overhauled, and worked around. I think the love the main character’s best friend had for her was more pure and powerful that the one-sided obsessive crush she had on the boy. 6/10.

Brand New Animal: Great show. Both my husband and I loved it. And were gushing about it even after we finished it. My only critique is all the heavy handed exposition. It felt clunky, ham-handed, and unnatural. I think with a few more episodes to the show they might have been able to parse out that exposition and find more natural ways to feed the audience that information, rather than huge unsolicited info dumps on the Main Character. Especially since half the time she didn’t earn that info, didn’t need it, didn’t ask, and just plain shouldn’t have been told some of it. Like why would you just spit classified secret information out to a character you know can’t keep secrets, or even follow directions?? Aside from that, solid characters, solid friendships, cute story, lots of interesting events, and just a blast from start to finish. Would highly recommend it to anyone. If you like Zootopia or Beastars, you’ll probably enjoy this too. 8/10.

Japan Sinks 2020: I. LOVED. THIS. SHOW. Omg, it had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. I just couldn’t stop watching. It’s in the disaster movie genre. Like Volcano, Dante’s Peak, or The Day After Tomorrow. That “what if this catastrophic natural disaster occurred,” and you follow this group of survivors as they work together to stay alive. And damnit if I wasn’t emotionally invested in every single one of them. I wanted to see them survive, and see how they made it through. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to connect as strongly with their struggle given that it was animated rather than live action. But that didn’t matter at all. The tone is serious, and everything is given the weight and consideration it deserves. The animation style has a realistic tone to it, and the fact that it was an anime never got in the way of the journey and the emotions and the intensity for a second. I felt ALL of it. 10/10.

Unsolved Mysteries Netflix (documentary): I’m a slut for documentaries, all kinds of documentaries. So it’s no surprise I watched this. If you like unsatisfying true stories then this is it. A whole season of unsolved crimes. You get all the information wrapped up and handed to you in a neat little interesting package, and are left to just gnaw on it wondering who did it, and if they’ll ever solve it. One of the episodes isn’t a crime though, it’s a UFO story, which was a weird change of pace and tone from the rest of the season. Still creepy, but in a different way. I liked it, but it can be frustrating when you want answers. It gets an 7/10 because I wanted answers.

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts: I could watch this show over and over again. My husband and I were foaming at the mouth waiting for season 2, and when it finally released, we gobbled it up and then watched it again right after. Excellent show. Post-Apocalyptic story, where the surface of the earth is overrun with mutant animals, and humans are living underground in “burrows.” The main character Kipo gets separated from her people and stranded on the surface, and has to find a way home. Along the way she makes some human friends, and mutant friends, and connects with people through music. And even learns some deep dark secrets about her Mom and Dad, and even herself. It’s a beautiful story emotionally, but also an exciting adventure. I love it. 10/10.

Eurovision, the Story of Fire Saga: Good. Which is saying something because I’m not a fan of Will Ferrell and he plays one of the main characters in this movie. I enjoyed the movie, and it made me laugh. Which was another surprise because I’m a cold-hearted bitch when it comes to comedy, and most things don’t make me laugh. So when a comedy works for me it’s a surprise. And this comedy worked in places. Not ALL places, but it did get some chuckles and a laugh or two. And I did enjoy the story it told. The movie is about two friends who are musicians/singers that enter singing/performance contest, and the drama that ensues along the way. It’s a cute underdog story. 6/10.

Floor is Lava (game show): The name of the game says it all. Groups of three contestants must navigate rooms using only furniture, and chandeliers, and shit. They can’t touch the floor because the room is flooded with hot orange koolaid. And if they fall in they “die.” Prepare to watch grown ass adults hop, hobble, and flop over furniture, tables, and other obstacles, as they try to get from one side of a room to the other side without falling into the koolaid. It’s exciting, and fun, and although the commentary is awful, the struggle of the contestants more than makes up for it. 8/10.

Splice: Never seen this movie before. Thought I’d give it a try since it just showed up on Netflix. It’s... odd. I’m having a hard time deciding if I loved or hated it. It’s an interesting look into what could happen should we start experimenting with human DNA and other sentient life. And how that could go all kinds of wrong very quickly. I like horror, and this delivered on some of the horror elements, but mostly it just jabs you over and over again with moral dilemmas. And you end up feeling like all the characters in the movie majorly failed each other, and they were all the bad guys. I’ll give it a 5/10 because I’m conflicted whether I liked it or not. But it was worth seeing once.

Ju-on Origins: I’ve seen a couple of the Grudge movies, which is the Americanized version of this horror franchise. But I’ve never seen any of the Ju-on movies. So it was a new experience watching this. It’s non-linear storytelling can be challenging to follow, but the stories it’s telling are fascinating and unnerving. I had to watch it with the shitty English dub because my attention span is too short for subtitles. And this wasn’t just a single movie, it’s a show with an entire first season. Episode 4 was definitely where shit hit the fan, and things got really scary. But I like slow burn horror, so I enjoyed the build up of the previous three episodes, and how they just carefully built on the apprehension and dread until things really got scary in the fourth episode. After that the rest of the show is just a roller coaster of highs and lulls, that leave you wondering where the series is gonna go in season 2. Definitely my favorite installment in the Grudge/Ju-on franchise that I’ve seen so far. And it’s got me curious to check out the other Ju-on movies. 8/10.

The Girl with all the Gifts: I’m a sucker for zombie movies and this was a unique and refreshing take on them. The idea is that the zombie outbreak is caused by a strain of the Cordyceps fungus that ends up infecting humans. And the surviving humans are using children born from infected mothers to try and find a cure for the outbreak. The children are like this functioning hybrid of fungus and human, and not completely lost like the humans who were directly infected. The movie explores the moral dilemma of how the children are treated, and the further of humans. I enjoyed the movie, and the concepts. It was a great addition to the zombie franchise. Would recommend. 7/10.

Abducted in Plain Sight (documentary): another crime documentary. This one dealt with a kidnapper/pedophile who managed to kidnap the same girl twice, and the lasting trauma his actions had on that girl. It was sad, and heartbreaking, and horrifying. If you like crime documentaries and have a steely stomach, check this one out. I won’t give it a rating because it deals with real life stuff and children and it’s not a show.

Evil Genius (documentary): one last documentary on this list. I was on a crime documentary spree. Usually I like animal documentaries. This one was about a couple who masterminded a bank heist by attaching a collar bomb to a man and sending him on a wild goose chase scavenger hunt. There’s also a case about a corpse in a freezer, and how the two cases are connected. It’s absolutely bonkers. Just wow. It’s four episodes long, a mini-series, but just an interesting experience. I mostly watched/listened to this while slowly chipping away at a commission. If you like crime documentaries it’s worth a watch. I give this one a 6/10 because I won’t be watching it a second time, but also because I think the format and how they explained everything was kinda long winded.

[pikachunas]

Chrono Clobbered

“Are you gonna finish your french toast sticks?” 

Jay looked up from his tray. The Burger King was crowded for a Monday morning and he was eager to get home and sleep for the rest of his day off. “You can have em’” Jay muttered. “I’m not hungry.” Ennis sighed and reach across the booth to grab a french toast stick off of Jay’s tray. “It’s always hard at first, but this is a good time to focus on doing things you enjoy and pursuing stuff you’re passionate about.” Jay stared blankly into his lap. “Some people say getting back to work sooner than later can help occupy your mind.” Finally, Jay looked up “No” he insisted. “There are too many memories there… good and bad.” Ennis paused for a second. “I hate to see you like this, but I know that you’ll feel better with time.” Jay scoffed “The only time I’ll feel better is in the past. There’s nothing left for me to look forward to.”

 “I could tell you how to go back in time but you wouldn’t believe me.” Ennis teased. Jay raised an eyebrow and turned his palms upwards, shrugging. “You just have to take a punch.” Jay sighed “I would take a punch from present day Mike Tyson and then another one from 1991 Mike Tyson if it meant I could go back then and start over.” Ennis chuckled “then you’ll be relieved to learn that it’s not a Hall of Fame boxer you have to get slugged by.” 

“Alright, then who is it?”. Jay was genuinely curious. “Do you know Mike Moak?” Ennis asked. Jay nodded “I know of him, I’ve seen After the Fall a bunch of times but I’ve never spoken to him for longer than a couple of minutes.” Ennis put a hand on Jay’s shoulder “Then you know what you’re getting into.” Jay shook his head “I don’t understand. What does Mike Moak have to do with going back in time?” He was already upset but now he was confused and growing increasingly irritated. He had seen Mike Moak in person enough to know that he was much too small and out of shape to throw a punch that could knock someone to the ground, let alone break the time space continuum.

 “I know a guy who got in a fight with him in high school and he says he travelled back in time after MIke clocked him.” Jay was in no mood for jokes and he didn’t want to entertain this nonsense, but his curiosity was piqued.  “That doesn’t make any sense.” He pondered out loud “Did he not wake up after Mike hit him?” Ennis looked away and rubbed his chin pausing for a moment “of course he did, but he was different ever since. Something changed in him and he wasn’t shy about telling people he had gone back in time. He made a believer out of me.”  

“You believe him?” Jay asked. “Hell yes I do” Ennis replied emphatically. “He won $3,000 when he bet that the Giants would beat the undefeated 2007 Patriots in Super Bowl XLII.” Jay curled his lip “You’re telling me this guy knew for a fact the Giants were going to win as heavy underdogs and he still only won $3,000?” Ennis smirked and nodded “That’s what I’m telling you. That was not an easy call back then. They were 12 point underdogs.” Jay lifted himself out of his chair, almost jumping “If he travelled back in time from the future and knew for a certainty the Giants were gonna win that game, how come he didn’t bet everything he owned on it?” Ennis shrugged “I’m sure he did but he didn’t have that much to bet. It’s not like he knew he was gonna travel back in time, and I would venture to guess that if you get punched hard enough that it sends you back in time then you’re not exactly Stephen Hawking when you wake up…. At least not intellectually.”

Jay watched Ennis and waited for a smirk or giggle or some kind of tell that he was bluffing. Any indication that this was an act. “I believe him” Ennis doubled down “he’s just got that vibe like there’s something peculiar about him… like he really is from another time or dimension or something. You’ll understand when you meet him.” Jay thought for a second before pontificating “it’s just so absurd, I know it can’t be true, but I want to suspend disbelief and go into it with an open mind… just for the sake of his act.” Ennis slapped Jay on his back between his shoulders “If it’s an act then he deserves an Oscar for his commitment to the craft, because he’s living it.” Jay faked a smile “Snake oil salesman always do when they’re being watched.” he alleged. Ennis laughed and patted Jay’s back a few more times “That’s the thing about this guy, my friend… he’s got nothing to sell but a story and he’s giving it away to anyone who will listen.” 

Later that evening, still unconvinced, Jay invited his friend Teddy to get lunch the following afternoon. Teddy had always been more involved in the local music scene than he ever was, and she would surely be much more familiar with Mike Moak. They agreed to meet at the Iron Gate Cafe on Washington Ave in Albany. Jay arrived first and was seated at a table by the kitchen. When Teddy walked in, he waved to signal her and she walked over to greet him at the table. Before she finished hanging her purse on the back of her chair Jay asked “How will do you know Mike Moak? Do you still see him at shows?” Teddy froze and looked at Jay before taking her phone out of her purse and sitting down. “A little, not super well” she replied “I see him about once a month at a bar or a show I’d say.” “How big is he now, do you like him?” Jay inquired. “Not very” Teddy responded at once. “I mean, he’s chubby and moody and obnoxious, so I don’t talk to him if I don’t have to. He always kind of reminded me of the Mayor of Halloweentown from the Nightmare Before Christmas. Both in shape and attitude. Why the sudden interest in him?” she finally inquired.

“I might have to start a fight with him” Jay responded blankly. “Oh… ok” Teddy countered inquisitively uncertain of whether or not she wanted to know more. “Well, you’d probably win” she paused “he must cut his coke with powdered sugar because nobody that parties as much as him should be that overweight. He’s got the same body type and hairline as the Penguin from Batman Returns.” She took a sip of the coffee she ordered and moaned “I hate to do it but I have to ask. Why do you feel like you need to start a fight with Mike Moak?”

Jay crossed his hands on the table. “I met someone who says that Mike punched him in high school and it sent him back in time.” Teddy laughed out loud, cackling at the thought  “That’s great, but I don’t understand the joke” she chuckled  “why do you want to go back in time anyway?” Jay looked away “There’s just something… someone I need to start over with.” The room fell silent “Is it someone that passed away?” Teddy asked somberly. “No…nothing like that” Jay answered “It’s just something I can’t let go, and I’d rather risk the rest of my life than keep going on without them.” Teddy was silent for a second then pried “that’s sad, and strangely romantic, but can’t you just talk to them?” Jay shook his head “Too many things have happened that can’t be taken back… I may have said or done something wrong at some point, or I wasn’t honest enough with myself, or I came on too strong… I don’t know, but I know I could make it right.” Jay thought out loud. 

“Have you thought about talking to someone?” Teddy asked thoughtfully “Sometimes it can be really helpful to get an unbiased objective opinion.” Jay exhaled a frustrated sigh “There’s nobody else I want to talk to, just forget I said anything.” Teddy nodded “I’m not trying to second guess you, and you know I’ll support whatever you think you need to do, but you’re scaring me a little bit” She paused for a moment, shaking her head struggling to decide whether or not she should even continue to entertain this conversation. “I’ve never seen him swing on anyone but I don’t think he could throw a hard enough bare knuckle punch to knock you off your feet, let alone back in time.” She could tell Jay was anxious by the way he was toying with the straws and sugar packets. “I know that you know how silly this sounds and I hope that you know if you’re going through anything you can talk to me about it.” Jay looked into the distance before meeting Teddy’s eyes “Thank you” he murmured. He then shoved his money, the sugar packets and his still full cup of coffee to the center of the table in one thrust. “But I don’t want to talk about it, I want a chance to start over.”

Jay opened the door to Ennis’ 1984 Corolla and sat next to him in the passenger seat. “I have to remind you” Ennis warned “this guy is pretty wild. This is gonna be a fascinating experience for you. “I’m ready” Jay assured him. “I’m going in with an open mind and I’m willing to try anything.” The ride only lasted about 15 minutes from Jay’s Albany apartment before they parked in front of a modest single family home in the suburbs. “One last thing…” Ennis alerted “he goes by “The Chrone” Jay couldn’t help but break “Ha what?” he laughed “Why?” Ennis opened the door “Short for Chrononaut…. A Time Traveller” he responded stepping out of the car.  He was afraid if he thought about it too long he would be overcome by how preposterous this was and he would succumb to logic and reason. He stepped out of the car and followed Ennis to the front door. Ennis rang the bell and after a moment, a near-elderly woman in a light sweater with ducks on it appeared in the doorway. “You must be some of Gordie’s friends” she said smiling. “Come on in, I’ll show you to his room.” 

Jay entered the Chrone’s room and was overcome with nostalgic sentiment. He became fully engrossed in the atmosphere and found himself unable to look away from the E.T., Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Surf Ninjas, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Super Mario World, the Legend of Zelda, Mortal Kombat,  X-Files and Resident Evil posters that covered the walls. The Chrone was laying spread eagle in a beanbag chair in the center of the room playing NHL 95 on Super Nintendo and listening to “...And Justice For All” by Metallica. He was wearing a Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness T-shirt and a Misfits Crimson Ghost hat. Strewn out on the coffee table in front of the Chrone were stacks of Pokemon cards and Nintendo Power magazines. Jay sat beside Ennis on a futon that was against the wall adjacent to where the Chrone was seated. 

“Welcome dudes” the Chrone said without looking away from the television. “Hey man! Thanks for letting me stop by” Jay replied enthusiastically. “Ness said you were interested in becoming a chrononaut.” Jay had picked up and was studying a Tamagotchi that was in the attached cup holder of the futon. “That’s why I’m here… it sounds too good to be true but I’m willing to try anything.” The Chrone stood up and walked over to the stereo that was resting in the center of a bookshelf that was spilling comic books from every shelf. He turned a knob to lower the volume and then looked at Jay, “I can only speak to my own experience, but I have no reason to believe the results couldn’t be replicated if the methods are the same.” Jay put the Tamagotchi down and looked at the Chrone to try and read any potential signs that this was a goof. The Chrone met Jay’s gaze “I wasn’t asking for it, and I didn’t want it… I was just a high school senior in 2007 trying to get laid and next thing I know it’s 1996 and I’m 12 years old again.” Jay stared at the Chrone for a minute and thought to himself before quizzing “If you went all the way back to 1996 why didn’t you invest in Microsoft or invent Google or something?” 

The Chrone had told this story and had therefore answered this exact question dozens of times “I tried that kind of thing for a while. I told my parents that Apple was a surefire investment but to them I was just a kid with a sudden and fleeting interest in business and they shrugged it off. I would have loved to invent the iPod or developed Amazon.com but I didn’t have the money or resources to capitalize on what little knowledge I had retained from the future and by the time I was old enough to earn my own money the only thing I could remember was that the Patriots lost the Superbowl after their undefeated 2007 season. I told everyone I knew and I saved as much as I could but I was only able to save a couple grand. By then I had been living in an apartment with two roommates and delivering pizzas. I still had to live my life and I wasn’t positive that going back hadn’t altered the current reality I was living in. I was confident, but if I did nothing but save money and then I lost it all in a bet it would take me years to recover. You don’t realize how much of your life becomes forgettable when it’s just the same routine day to day. There were moments and events that I thought I remembered but most of the time it was no different than experiencing Deja Vu.” 

Jay sat still and looked up at the Chrone. He hesitated for a moment then asked “I get this guy to hit me, then what?” The Chrone picked up a Dragonball Z Goku action figure that was on the bookshelf “if you do what I tell you then the same thing that happened to me will happen to you.” Jay was encouraged by the confidence with which the Chrone delivered this promise. He knew the story was laughably outrageous, but as far as he was concerned, he had run out of options and this was the desperate measure brought on by the desperate times in which he was living. . 

“What if he kills me?” Ennis whispered, staring at the ground. 

“Are you afraid to die?” the Chrone asked.

“I’m a little afraid of what comes next”

“If you believe what I’m telling you you’ll get a chance to live again however you choose”

“If you’re wrong, I’ll be humiliated or dead”

“Would you give what’s left of your life to relive the best times?”

“That’s why I’m here”

“Then do as I say”

Jay flipped his notepad open and tried to focus in spite of the millions of thoughts he had racing in his head. He exhaled “Mike seems like such a sensitive guy, how do I make him mad enough to hit me?” The Chrone sat back down in his bean bag chair and leaned back “There is only one way” he paused “You have to date his ex girlfriend.” Ennis froze, staring straight ahead. This wasn’t a qualifying objective that he was expecting to hear. He hadn’t had a girlfriend since high school and struggled to remember the last time he had even been on a date. After a moment, he flipped his notebook closed and asked, his voice breaking “I’m not very good with women, what if she doesn’t like me?” 

“She’s never met a man she doesn’t like” the Chrone assured him “Swooning her will be the easy part.”  

“What’s the hard part?” he asked nervously. 

The Chrone smiled “Faking it for long enough to draw his attention.” 

Again, Jay found the Chrone’s confidence to be encouraging “That’s ridiculous, how bad can she be?” he wondered out loud. 

“She’s cursed with the face and the odor of a sewer dwelling rodent. Are you attracted to Dave Grohl?”

“Jesus… no. I mean, I like the Foo Fighters but I never got into Nirvana”

“Then this is going to be very difficult for you.”

Jay rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand “Why does he like her so much then? He’s a talented, decent looking guy.” 

“He wanted a woman which no man would desire. He understands that his jealousy is a weakness that he’s unable to control.” 

Jay paced back and forth in a daze of bewilderment “None of this makes any sense, can’t I just hit him first or break one of his guitars or something?” 

“Nothing else will inspire the rage necessary to elicit the desired response. If you want to go back, this is the only way.” 

Jay sat down and cupped his nose and his mouth with his hands. He sat still for a moment and then released another heavy sigh “How do I find her?” 

The following Friday night Jay drove to the bar that the Chrone had told him about. The Chrone had assured him that Michelle hung out there every Friday night since she and Mike had broken up in an effort to meet guys in other bands. Jay wasn’t sure who was playing, but he was hopeful that he would find Michelle inside. Before he walked in he stopped to consider how long it had been since he had approached a woman he didn’t know with the intention of asking her out. Had he ever?

Reluctantly, he walked into the building. The room he entered was narrow with an elevated stage at the end opposite the entrance. There couldn’t have been fifteen people in the bar but there was a band playing that had two keyboards next to each other on stage. He walked to the bar and scanned the room. It didn’t take him long to notice a short girl with thick dark hair in a messy bun and eyeglasses that looked like they were bought at a Golden Girls celebrity auction. She was doing a dance that looked like she was running in place while goose-stepping. She was kicking her feet out in front of herself one after the other while swaying her folding arms back and forth as if she was jogging. He had seen it before at ska shows, but there was no brass in the band on stage, in fact, she was dancing visibly faster than the rhythm of the mellow shoegaze song that was playing.

Jay stood at the bar watching this girl dance and the realization seriously struck him that if he was going to have an opportunity to begin again he would have to spend enough time with her to elicit an emotional reaction from Mike. “Maybe things aren’t so bad” he bargained “maybe I’ve been so focused on starting over that I haven’t spent enough time thinking about how to improve things for myself going forward.” He couldn’t imagine approaching this women, or speaking to her. At this point, he would be surprised if she were capable of holding a conversation. “This girl has gotta have an extra chromosome” he thought to himself. Nevertheless, he was determined to make an impression. 

He stepped in front of her and tried to match her rhythm by swaying back and forth and shuffling his feet. For the first time, he looked into her almond eyes and not ten seconds passed before she lunged forward and planted an aggressive kiss on his mouth. Their teeth collided and there was an audible clank that compelled Jay to attempt to pull away. She mirrored the movement of his head and forced her tongue into his mouth. “This isn’t so bad” he tried to convince himself as she grinded their teeth together. After 30 seconds of her gnawing and breathing into his open mouth he slowly began to tilt his face back while gently pushing her away at the waist. He stepped backwards and as they parted she took her glasses off and bit her bottom lip. “Umm” he stuttered “Do you want a drink?” She rested the tip of her glasses frames on her cheek “Vodka soda” she demanded. 

Jay trudged to the bar in a stupor. He was relieved that the first, and ultimately most important, goal in his quest was accomplished so effortlessly, but the reality of what was to come was daunting. “I already wish I never met this girl, and I don’t think she even told me her name yet.” he pondered. “You alright?” the squirrely bartender with glasses and a considerable nose asked. “I don’t know, man” Jay responded without thinking “Do you ever feel like you’re already in over your head before you even get started with something?” The bartender twisted his mouth and nodded “hmmm” he mumbled “like when you start a new video game and you have no idea how to control your character or which direction to go and you’re not sure if it’s even gonna be worth playing because there are so many other games that you already know are good?” Jay stared blankly at the bartender for a moment before responding “.... I guess?” he muttered “It’s a little like that” The bartender smirked and nodded “Then yeah, I feel that way all the time. I find it’s best to give it a chance. If by the time you know what you’re doing it still doesn’t seem worth the time and energy, try something new or revert back to the classics…. Anyway, what can I get for you?” 

Jay considered what the bartender said and tried to decipher some meaning from his stoner philosophical musing. “I’d rather just give up now then spend any more time with this girl and then realize it’s not worth it, though” he conceded. “No” he asserted to himself “I’m not going to allow myself to be so easily dissuaded, and I’m not gonna quit just because this girl is insufferable. I’m gonna make her fall in love with me and I’m gonna flaunt it all over town so that Mike gets so incensed he slugs me back to the Mesozoic era.” He looked up at the bartender “One Vodka Soda” he commanded. 

When the bartender returned with the drink, Jay collected it and then walked back to the center of the room where Michelle was dancing. “Here ya go” he said, handing her the glass. She took a small sip to taste it and then drank the rest of the glass in one gulp. Before he could say anything she smiled and handed him the glass “Vodka soda” she repeated. “Um… OK” he mumbled before turning around and making his way back to the bar. Before he could say a word the lanky bartender had two vodka sodas waiting side by side  at the edge of the bar. “This should buy you a couple more minutes” he said with a grin. “What am I getting into?” he asked the bartender, exasperated. “Well..” he said smiling “That all depends on what you’re looking for.” Jay stopped to think of the best way to explain without giving away too many details. “She seems cool” he lied “I guess I’m just looking to get to know her.” The bartender was a aghast “Why?” he asked immediately, failing to mask the look of concern and confusion on his face. Jay was puzzled and disheartened by the bartenders reaction “I don’t know” he replied “she seems fun.” The bartender threw a towel over his shoulder “I guess it depends on how desperate you are… let me know if you need anything else.”

Jay returned to MIchelle with both drinks. He handed the first one to her and again she swallowed it in one gulp. Before he could move she reached for his hand “Is this one for me too?” she asked while ripping the glass from his hand and inhaling the second vodka soda. Jay looked had her wide-eyed for a moment before she spoke again “What’s a girl gotta do to get you to buy her another drink around here?” she asked. Jay was amazed and befuddled “Dude are you serious?” he asked without thinking “Can I at least get you something you can pace yourself with?” MIchelle shrugged and pursed her lips like she was thinking “You can buy me a snack” she answered before pausing “but first…. Vodka soda.” 

Jay waited for the band to finish their set before retreating to the bar to add a fourth vodka soda to his tab. When he turned to walk back towards the stage he noticed that MIchelle was kissing one of the guitar players in the band. “Jesus, what the fuck?” he cursed out loud. The squirrely bartender snickered “I could have told you that was gonna happen… she’s got a thing for dudes in bands.” Jay shook his head “I walked away for like two minutes, to get HER a drink” he was struggling to keep his voice down. “She’s moves quick” the bartender said “she’ll be bored with him before the next band is off the stage.” Jay ignored him and walked backed toward MIchelle, who had finished kissing the guitar player and was now chewing the straw from one of her drinks while he finished packing his gear. He handed her the drink “Do you know that guy?” he asked reluctantly. “Which guy?” she replied. “The guy you were just kissing?” he asked as monotone as he could. She looked at the guitar player and then back at Jay “I thought that was you” she said assuredly. Without thinking Jay snapped back “He’s like Asian or something and he’s six inches taller than me, are you feeling alright?” he inquired feigning concern. 

“I’d feel better if I had a snack” Jay covered his eyes with his left hand. He had spent less than an hour and $40 on drinks with Michelle and he was ready to ride his fixed gear bike into the Hudson River. “What do you want?” he asked patiently. “I don’t know” she replied “but I’m well hung.” Jay had already spent enough time with Michelle to know that correcting her on the application of that phrase was a fool’s errand so instead he took her by the hand and led her outside to his car. “Where are we going?” she wondered aloud. “I’m assuming I have to decide for you” he said before starting his car. “Do you want to just go to Bombers and then I’ll drop you off back here?”  Michelle shrugged in agreement.

“Would you like to sit upstairs or downstairs?” Jay asked after he parked in front of the restaurant. Michelle pursed her lip “The bar is upstairs” she asserted. “Alright” Jay replied holding the door open for her. While Jay was waiting for a host to seat them he turned and noticed that Michelle was no longer by his side. He scanned the room for a moment before noticing her in front of the bar with her arms around a chubby guy with a skull cap and a beard. She was thrusting her waist into the back of his legs and they were both laughing. “How many?” a waitress in a black tank top and cut off jean shorts asked. Jay looked up from the ground “Just two” he replied turning to look back at Michelle who was now taking a shot in unison with the bearded guy, their arms intertwined. “Follow me” she said and Jay followed her to a booth in the corner of the room. He sat alone for a minute confused at the behavior he was witnessing first hand, but moreso why anyone would want to date this person, and uncertain about what it is about her that someone would be willing to fight for. 

While he was lost in consideration, Michelle appeared across from him “Did you order me a drink yet?” she demanded. “No, I wasn’t sure what you’d want.” Michelle tucked her head into her chest and tightened her lips, almost resembling a turtle retreating into its shell. She lifted her necklace out from under her “Propaghandi” t-shirt. Hanging from the thin rope in chipped fool’s gold letters were the words “Vodka Soda” in script lettering. “I should have guessed” he chuckled trying to hide his smile. Just then the waitress reappeared “Are you guys ready to…” “NACHOS” Michelle interrupted, hollarring. The waitress laughed nervously “and for you?” she asked, turning her gaze toward Jay. “I’ll have a tofu burrito.. And can we get a Vodka soda and a PBR draft” he requested. “I’ll be right back with that” she promised walking away as quickly as possible. 

When Jay turned again to  look back at Michelle, she was leaning toward him with her elbows on the table. As she crept closer, he was overcome by the smell of a citrus fruit left to ferment in a fast food dumpster. “What are you doing?” he asked with a tremble in his voice. “Kiss me ya bum” she demanded before puckering her lips with her eyes closed. Jay ducked her attempt and rolled out of the booth. “I’m gonna grab some napkins, and wash my hands; do you need anything?” MIchelle looked in his direction without looking at him directly and shook her head. When Jay came back from the bathroom he found their food waiting on the table but Michelle was nowhere to be found. He checked the rest of the tables in the lobby and the bar but she wasn’t there. The women’s restroom door was ajar so he knew it was unoccupied. 

He walked downstairs to find Michelle sitting in a booth with two college aged men. When he stepped into the dimly lit room he saw that she was sitting on one man’s lap and either whispering into or nibbling on his ear.  He wasn’t sure why he was still surprised but her audacity was so foreign to him. He approached the table and ignoring the men looked at MIchelle “our food is upstairs, come up whenever you’re ready” before turning away and returning to their booth. He sat by himself for a few minutes, eager to enjoy his burrito but somehow still concerned about Michelle thinking it rude if he started eating without her. After 10 minutes she appeared in the doorway and took her seat across from him, her black lipstick was smeared all around her mouth who had just eaten a chocolate ice cream cone on a roller coaster. There were visible red marks on both sides of her neck “Maybe she’s having an allergic reaction to that dudes cologne” he considered but he knew the truth was that one,each, or both at the same time, of those guys were sucking on her neck. He didn’t mind, but suddenly the panic set in that he might have to sleep with her to keep her interest or for word to get back to Mike and besides the physical act of that likely being as fun and exciting as getting a tetanus shot at your grandmother’s funeral, he didn’t doubt for a second that she might be carrying… something. He had to distract himself from these excruciating thoughts so he quickly asked “Do you work or go to school?”.

“Both” she replied while balling some cheese from the top of her plate of nachos and popping it into her mouth. “Oh cool, what do you do for work?” he was sincerely curious. “I’m a teacher.” Jay wanted to laugh but he wasn’t rude by nature and he still wasn’t positive he had sealed the deal. “Do you teach a spin class or something?” He wondered out loud, trying to mask his sarcasm. “No, I teach English as a second language in an elementary school, I’m almost done with my masters.” He stared blankly at Michelle, hoping the shock he was feeling wasn’t displayed on his face. “Do you go to the University of Phoenix or Devry or something?” he had never been more puzzled. “UAlbany” she responded, stuffing a fistfull of nachos into her mouth. He was literally speechless that this person who had kissed half of Albany and had hardly uttered a coherent sentence in the last two hours provided such a valuable and formative service to children of the community. She didn’t seem to notice that they finished their meal and he payed the bill in silence. 

“You ready?” he asked, turning to step out of the booth. “Mmhmm” she mumbled before rubbing the last bit of salsa out of her side cup and then sucking on her finger. He wondered if she was trying to be seductive but she looked like a largemouth bass with human teeth struggling to swallow a breakfast sausage. Jay put on the Casket Lottery for the drive back to the bar. “This sucks” she concluded more than once on the ten minute ride. When he parked in front of the bar on Central Ave, one of the busiest roads in the city, Michelle reached over and began loosening the belt that held his corduroy pants up. “I’m kind of full” he squeaked, attempting to slunk away from her advances. “I”m not” she declared confidently. “I really think we should wait” he could feel the sweat pooling on his face. “Mmm mmm” she hummed still toiling with his belt. “Thank God the technology of a belt buckle is so perplexing to her” he obliged. He heard the thwip of his belt come undone and he could feel his pants loosen. 

Just then, in a state of panic he slammed his forearms onto the steering wheel and the horn blasted a long continuous note. It was the most satisfying abrasive E flat he thought he would ever hear and she jumped back at once. “Sorry…. I’m just a little nervous” he fibbed. “It’s ok ya freak, just relax” she returned, attempting to pacify him. “Yer gonna love it.” He found himself involuntarily balling his fists and tightening his arms against his upper body. “I need to get the fuck out of here” he knew, but he had never  hit a woman… or anyone, and he wasn’t about to start tonight. He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him at once “no no no no no” she mumbled gripping at the front of his pants. In a disoriented and frantic daze he absent-mindedly wrapped his upper and lower arms around her forehead and began wrenching her head back and forth. At first she tried to wiggle free “oh, you like it rough, let’s see if you can ride this bull then” she laughed. Jay ignored her and continued to placidly swing her head back and forth close to his hip in rhythm with the song that was playing. After about 30 seconds, her body became limp and she fell asleep in his lap. 

He let go of a long satisfied sigh and rested his head against the back of his seat. He was profoundly relieved but too terrified of what might happen if he fell asleep so he opened the window hoping the cool air would refresh him. Suddenly, he heard a thunderous roar like a freight train colliding with a jet engine at a nuclear bomb test site. Bewildered he scanned the street only to realize that the sound was coming from his lap. Michelle had been passed out for no longer than a minute and she was already snoring like the Krakatoa volcano eruption. The rumble of her trumpeting appalled and paralyzed him. He shook his hips and she began to sway. Lifting her head she inquired “How long was I out for?” Jay was still in a fog of slackjawed confusion “Umm about two minutes” he replied. She smiled and sat up. He had had enough MIchelle for one night, and one lifetime, so he was eager to get home and die in his sleep. “You’ve been a lot of fun” he lied “I’ll text you tomorrow.” They exchanged numbers and she stumbled out of his car. 

The next day Jay was playing destiny 2 and enjoying a Nine Pin Signature Cider from his couch when his phone lit up. He hadn't lived alone long and it had not been a welcome change but listening to records and gaming were a welcome distraction. He checked his messages to see Michelle had sent him a picture. He expected to be disgusted, but was pleasantly surprised to see it was just a screenshot of a different text conversation. The wall of text were from an “MM” and read “That Jay kid, really? I’ll fucking lay him the fuck out” “He’ll never be in a good band because he has no talent and nobody likes him.” “I really need to die. Expire. Disappear.” Jay was concerned at first and then his heart began pounding and he began laughing to himself when he realized his plan was working exponentially quicker than he had expected. Then he saw the most recent message and a chill shot up his spine.  “I need to talk to you in person or I’m going to jump of the Patroon Island bridge.” His excitement was immediately curbed when he considered the possibility that he had spent a night with Michelle for no reason. “You should go talk to him” he texted her back “he seems really upset and there’s no reason to burn bridges…. No pun intended.” She responded a moment later “I guess. I need to get my Ipod anyway.” 

Michelle arrived at Mike’s apartment and parked on the lawn. She had lived there for four years so in spite of the circumstances, she had no problem walking in unannounced and found Mike sobbing in the kitchen. “I can’t even fucking buy milk that doesn’t expire, I should soak some marb reds in a pint glass and force them down my throat.” she could hear him cursing himself from the living room. He smirked when he stepped out of the kitchen and saw Michelle lighting up his bowl on the couch. “I knew you’d come back to me when you realized you would never find someone with my creative fun qualities.” Unsolicited, he went on “Anybody who has experienced any success will just lie and deceive you… they’ll be like “I love THICC” and then fucking ghost you.” She took a long hit. “Nobody will ever appreciate you like I do or give you a life as exciting as I did. Everything you have and everybody you know that means anything is because of me.” 

“Nobody will ever come close to my worth, and my talent, and my heart” Mike went on. “You fucked up. Enjoy your boring lonely bullshit life.” Mike picked the cat up off of the coffee table and held it up to his face. “Look what you’re doing to Henri” he said, rubbing the disinterested cat against his cheek. “We could have been a family… now you’ll never have anyone. Nobody is ever going to care about you as much as I did.” Michelle had become accustomed to tuning out Mike’s rambling and was crafting a paper boat out of a sheet of looseleaf paper that he had scribbled some lyrics on. The words “I’m still alone here waiting to feel the hype we once had both being psyched and in love” were visible on the starboard side of the vessel. Mike droned on “Just leave me alone unless you want to make me happy or make me cum” he proposed. “I’m stoney baloney” she announced, placing the boat on top of an empty vase that sat at the edge of the table. 

Mike put the cat down on the couch, turned away, and pounded his fist against the door frame “I wouldn’t take you back if you begged, fuck you” he roared “you gave up GOLD… I’m Mike fucking Moak… I hate your fucking guts.” He covered his face with both hands “There’s no escaping you and this crippling sadness and pain” He turned around and noticed he was alone in the room. “Look at this caterpillar!” he heard Michelle celebrate from the front yard. “I’m gonna drive it to my house!” she announced picking the caterpillar up and stuffing it into the pocket of her jean jacket. She climbed into her Nissan Versa and backed out of the yard, waving as she turned to drive away. “Why doesn’t she understand that she’s in love with me?” Mike wondered while he watched her from the doorway. “It’s like she doesn’t realize I could replace her tomorrow if I wanted to… she’s making the biggest mistake of her hopeless life.” He walked back into the house and sat on the couch next to Henry. 

By midnight Jay realized he hadn’t heard back from Michelle. He texted her “You alive? LOL?”. She replied less than a minute later “I forgot my Ipod but I got a caterpillar.” Before he could respond a second message came through “I crushed it in my pocket trying to find my juul though so I fed it to a toad.” Jay snickered and wrote back “Maybe if you kissed him he’d turn into a prince.” Michelle wrote back “I licked it but I didn’t feel anything and it didn’t eat the caterpillar.” and then “Do you want to come to Mike’s show tomorrow night? Everybody in his band is cool except for him.” Jay face lit up when he saw that. He couldn’t believe this plan would come to fruition so rapidly but he was glowing with delight. “You bet!” he responded. “I can’t wait!” He didn’t have to wait long for her reply “Great, I’ll pick you up at 7.”

The following night Mike was on stage when Jay and Michelle entered the bar. He was tuning his guitar and talking to the drummer of his band when Jay noticed the bass player make eye contact with Michelle. “Here we go” he thought “it’s all gonna pay off soon.” Just then the bass player walked over to Mike and said something to him. Mike spun around in a flash and ripped his guitar off his shoulder, tearing the loop of the strap.He stomped off the stage in a rage “What the fuck are you doing here?” He hollarred “Didn’t I tell you I’d fucking lay you the fuck out if I saw you?” Jay’s instincts were to run, but he had invested too much time and sacrificed too much of his pride to give up now. Suddenly he was overcome with a certainty that everything he had done in his life, and especially in the two days, had led him to this moment. “This is my manifest destiny” he thought to himself “I’ll never have to go to work, or wonder what went wrong, or kiss MIchelle again after tonight.”   He planted his feet and braced himself for a confrontation. “You trying to steal my 80-85?” Mike squealed. 

Jay tensed his upper body and with his newfound hardened will he held his ground “She’s my 80-85 now, motherfucker” wrapping his right arm around Michelle’s waist. Mike balled his fists and shuffled toward Jay. “I’m gonna knock you into last week” he threatened. “That’s not far enough you weeble-shaped invalid” Jay rebutted without thinking. Mike ignored the comment and stood nearly nose to nose with Jay. He exhaled, and Mike could smell onions and discount vodka on Jay’s breathe. This intense olfactory reminder of Michelle was enough to send him into a state of psychosis rage and in an instant he grit his teeth and pulled a punch with his right arm while grabbing Jay’s collar with his left. Jay’s instinct was to duck, but he knew that this moment was the culmination of everything he had endured. He flinched and turned his head slightly to the right wincing just as Mike’s closed fist connected with the left side of his face. 

Jay woke to the rumbling thunder of a passing train. He opened his eyes and lifted his head off the pillow to scan his surroundings. There were cd’s stacked on a desk by a computer and records in old milk crates on the floor. He rolled off the bed and walked to the window. Across the street he could see the Menands Little League Baseball field. He smiled and nodded before he paused and let go of a long slow sigh of relief. From outside his room he could hear voice, although it was too faint to decipher what was being said or who was speaking. He stepped over a collection of “A Song of Ice and Fire” books and pushed aside a hockey stick that was resting against the bedroom door. The voice grew louder as he stepped out of the room and into the hall. He walked passed a bathroom and a set of stairs and pressed his ear against the door from where the voice was coming. A tear came to his eye when he was certain recognized who was speaking. He waited for a moment and then knocked softly. From inside the room he heard Pat say “Hold on mom... JG is at my door.” 

Epilogue:

Mike sat on the couch in his empty apartment. He lifted his Gibson SG guitar off his lap and set it against the opposite armrest on the springs of the couch where a cushion was missing. He got up and walked down into the basement. He looked at the drum kit that was set up in the corner, a collection of guitar amplifiers, monitors, and speakers stood idle on both sides. “Nobody with my talent will ever use any of this stuff again.” he assured himself. “I might as well set this place on fire so nobody can taint the legacy I’m leaving behind here”. “No” he stopped himself “This place will be a historic site someday… a tribute to the monolithic phenomenon that I was and the heart and talent and greatness I left in my wake” He walked back up the stairs and closed the door behind him. 

He walked to Everett road and then down the exit ramp to Interstate 90 East. He stayed on the right shoulder, pausing every couple of minutes to catch his breath. “I should really work on my cardio” he admitted “not that it matters now.” When he got to the bridge that overlooked NY route 787 and ran parallel to the Hudson River he felt nervous for the first time. “Am I really gonna do this to all my fans” he wondered. “They’ll never find another recording artist that produces as much flawless content that’s as meaningful to them.” He looked over the three lane highway that was hundreds of feet below him. “This world doesn’t deserve me” he repeated to himself. “I’m too talented… and creative….and passionate. What a waste.” He stepped over the guardrail, reaching behind his elliptical body to grip it with both hands. “So many fucking posers in this town. Nobody would even be able to find Albany on a map if I didn’t live here.” He let go of the rail with one hand. “Doesn’t matter now… this whole fucking city might as well collapse into the Hudson River.” He leaned forward. “Later Dickheads” he said out loud. He let go. 

Michelle parked in front of her building and shut the engine down. She collected her jacket and purse from the passenger seat before stepping out of the car and making her way toward the entrance. She opened her purse to remove her keys and when she looked up she saw a small crate to the right of the front door. As she stepped closer, she saw that a cat was sitting on a couch cushion inside the crate. It mewed as she approached. When she got close enough to recognize him, she saw that a note was taped to the front of the cage over the latch with her name on it. 

She unfolded the note and read it to herself. “Henri has a vet appointment on Monday, please take care of him.” Taped to the bottom of the note was a card with the vet’s address and the appointment time and date. She put the card in her pocket and crumbled up the note before throwing it into the shrubs outside her building. She lifted the cage and carried Henri through the front door and into her apartment. She unhinged the latch and left the gate open so Henri could come out when he was ready. She paused as she poured a can of club soda into a half empty 200ml bottle of vodka.  “Who am I gonna buy cocaine from now?” she wondered. 

[lunarrpmemes]

Adventure Time: Elements Starters

Skyhooks

“That was definitely the longest adventure we’ve ever done.” “Let’s go take hot showers!” “Look at this fish. It’s... gummy?” “We’ve gotta get to the bottom of this hot shower.” “Home always looks different after a long trip.” “Everything being pink is probably not a big deal, and also I’m tired.” “Why do you worry so much, worry baby?” “Don’t worry, we’re only teasing you because you’re a baby.” “Hey! You look like me!” “Welcome, stranger! It’s so cool that you’re inside our house!” “We’ve obviously stumbled into an alternate dimension where everyone’s a different version of themselves. Yawn.” “I’m in control of my emotions.” “Drink up, babies!” “I used to have a LOT of fear and sadness - but now I’m FINE!” “No! That is body juice.” “What’s that? Do you spurn my fluids?” “Looks like someone’s feeling a little SOUR.” “Stop striding! It just keeps you agitated!” “Hey! You’re meat!” “They look so happy. Like dogs.” “Something smells nice. Nice and toasty.” “She’s everywhere.” “You fixed ‘em? But they’re your friends!”  “Goodbye, boys! It’s better this way!” “They’ll be back. They have nowhere else to go.” 

Bespoken For

“Why does it look like a four-way pizza?!” “Everyone is not dead. It’s much worse.” “What am I gonna do without my besties around?” “Bird watching sounds cool.” “I’m going out to get some magic ingredients.” “Cool. Bring me a snackie.” “You a toucan?” “I’ve tried so hard to help you.” “It’s saddening, it’s maddening, I’m rapping, and- and--” “No, I don’t remember who she is. But I know how to find out.” “It’s okay. I know you don’t remember me.” “Hey, wanna go on a date with me tonight?” “I think she might be an exotic bird.” “You need to get a nice bespoked suit.” “No, that’s just the muumuu, dawg. I’m jacked.” “Pretty fly for an ice guy.” “I’m really into skulls and old teeth in jars, too.” “Well, that was terrifying.” “Maybe you’re going after someone who doesn’t exist anymore.” “Why not take him as he is? After all, you’ve been through a lot of changes yourself.” “It sounds depressing when you say it that way. Think of a different way to say it.” “I don’t wanna be that guy who just hangs out with his girlfriend all the time and doesn’t see his friends... Man, I wanna be that guy so bad.” “These are some low-grade fairies.” “Where did the weird lady go?” “I wonder if my roomie has any more of these soothing donuts.” 

Winter Light

“We’ll enter via the sewer line.” “This is a place mat from a seafood restaurant - and this word search is way too hard!”” “I made these sweaters and ear muffs for you guys. They’re bespoke.” “It’s a lot colder now, too.” “Oh, I get it. The top one’s fake.” “This is crazy. It’s like being at the bottom of an ocean.” “Ice to meet you.” “You betta believe it, bucko.” “Do you wanna come with us? We’re on a secret mission.” “She’s, like, ruined the whole world and all our friends.” “Yes, I draw elves. It’s what I like to do!” “It’s not a sewer, but it’ll have to do.” “Oh no, you have an icicle. You look like your kids!” “Back in my old basement, where it all began.” “Cool boy say what?” “They denied their precious birthright.” “Instead of embracing their powers, they were overrun by them.” “Monstrous. Like life itself.” “If you’re so upset about this, you should fix it.” “The universe is an abyss of suffering.” “Best Friends Gang, retreat!” “Everyone leaves, except me. I remember Father made me stay at the table until all the eggs were eaten.” “Well, that sucks and I hate it.” “The goose... Is loose.” “My mystic soup is great for combating Ice Magic.” “I feel drained like a dirty bath tub.” “Ancient magic was actually my major.”

Cloudy

“Woah, neat-o.” “Graduate student? What the heck is that? You graduated, but you’re still a student? Doesn’t make any sense.” “Can the Dog do anything about this?” “What are you doing? Swaddling me?” “Look what happens when you go to sleep!” “Turn around! I can’t go when you’re looking at me.” “Yes sir. I sure like cuttin’ hair.” “All this stuff happened because I acted selfishly.” “I was talking about important stuff!” “I’ve been trying to distract you from all this, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy with the way things are going!” “You know what I’ve been thinking? What if we’re dead?” “I try to keep my worries hidden, but where does that send ‘em? To my kidneys? That can’t be good.” “I can get into that. Maybe when I’m thirty-five.” “I don’t care, don’t look in this direction. It makes me feel like you can hear my most private business.” “Since when is it such a hassle just to take a whiz?” “Are you being digested in there?” “Thanks for not digesting me.” “Nothing happened to us, so now we get to fix it.” 

Slime Central

“Here’s some trail mix for the road.”  “They’re two wack-a-doodle peas in a wack-a-doodle pod.”  “Something about it makes me feel weird in the ethics.” “You don’t wanna stare at happiness too hard, yaknow? Cuz it stares back, man...” “This smells like a locker room for a dead fish.”  “Okay, you look dope.”  “You guys on a team, yet?”  “No, you can’t be on my team!”  “You got something to say?”  “As always, the prize is absorption into the body of our bumpin’ leader.”  “Skate to assimilate!” “Isn’t assimilation amazing?”  “It might be comfy, like a hug that turns you into a hug.” “She can’t absorb us if we’re self-absorbed.” “You need a three person team to compete, and I’m taken.”  “But I’m the plucky underdog!”  “No, you’re just terrible.”  “No, wait! Discontinue the beat!” “They love me! I’m a true Cinderella story!”  “Today’s losers will now be punished with shameful absorption.”  “It’s like being in a warm bath full of snot.”  “It’ll work out somehow.”  “May as well give in to it...”  “This isn’t an uplifting underdog ending.”  “I’m not assimilating!”  “She’s gonna be rejecteeeed.”  “No, I totally faked it.”  “Even though I shoplifted this super cool outfit, I still didn’t fit in...”  “I guess I don’t fit in anywhere.”  “Whatever happened, he was always like... ‘it’ll work out.’“ “Stop being so selfish, I’m the one hurting here!” Happy Warrior“He’s probably having fun, and doing way better without you.”  “Your laugh is really annoying.” “Don’t talk that way about the skyhooks!” “Please keep your hands and bags away from the cloud’s edge.” “Don’t torture yourself! And don’t drop your phone into Fire Kingdom, dummy.” “If I don’t, you’ll die. Hah!”  “So... You guys wanna do something? Got any music?”  “You guys aren’t just, like, boring and old, right?”  “This doesn’t look so bad.”  “You see that bird? Gross.” “No, I’m just super cool.” “I got RAGE!”  “You cannot defeat me!” “Let’s take his armor.”  “I’m going, but I swear vengeance, okay?”  “Your cooking stinks!” “Man, this place used to be nice... er.” “I can’t, she’s like family!” “My flame shield protected me from the Change. The rest of the kingdom... Is lost.”  “She is spicy with anger.”  “We used to really bond over music, and.... Stuff.”  “This is as far as I go.”  “She said some... Hurtful things.”  “I’ll give her a good talking to. I’ll talk her into next week.”  “My wolf is also a loner.”  “When did he get cool? Everyone slept on that.”  “Die in a ditch!” “You used to be about the laughs!” “You can’t run the saw, then stay outta my woodshed.”  “The duck found a secret tunnel!”  “We’re just friends, and I’m proud of that friendship. Getting there took a lot of trust building and emotional growth.”  “... Do you do squats?”  “That big, gross dragon is your ex?!”  “This place is a toxic, aggro-macho-scape.” “That was messed up, and not who you really are!” “The only friend I have is violence, and the only thing we do when we hang is FIGHT!”  “I’m gonna ruin your universe.”  “Honestly, I could still see those two working out.”  “This is terrible, nobody’s paying attention to me!” “That’s a huge extrapolation from what I said.” “Surely, this is the end of all things.”

Hero Heart

“Is this about your ex?” “This is about the purity of battle.”  “Just listen to the beat of your hero heart!” “I only hear the drums of war.” “You’re hurting me physically and emotionally.” “Becoming a crazy, fiery bad boy has made you even more of a babe.”  “It’s a real magic flying carpet!”  “We lost him to the flames of war!” “You got any lotion? Your skin is so... Hydrated.”  “Aw man, I don’t think you should play this game ever again.”  “Look at all these thirsty customers!” “Ice cream pies for all our hot new friends.”  “Jeez, who sneezed in your cornflakes?”  “Look, weird lady - I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but we’re the only sane people left in this crazy, mixed-up world.” “Lets get in there and mash their potatoes!”  “My children have come home.”  “Oh, a dragon, how fun!” “I see you’ve been playing with matches.” “Fight me, nerd!”  “Ooh! Are we wrastlin’? Fun!”  “Everyone I know is spazzing out on each other.” “Is this the end? Will I be the last witness to the glory of this world that I chose above all others?” “I don’t think I can save the world on my own.”  “Curse these superior genes.”  “Your face tastes like my happy place.”  “My little Sugarplum - you’ve returned to accept your sweet fate!” “This charade has run it’s course.” “In your hearts, you are all sweet!”

Skyhooks II

“You left my friend down there.” “Don’t worry, I’ve got a new plan - a plan where nothing that happens here matters.” “He sees me like a handsome older brother.”  “Its me! I’m saving your tight butt!” “Maybe you’re not made of the same stuff as us.” “No more learning!” “Huh, musta dozed off. And bound myself.” “People say ‘you shouldn’t live in the past.’ But I say ‘why not?’“ “This book is strange, but when you puzzle it out, it’s mostly all charges and frequencies.” “My wonderful ___ will never become this sad, pathetic creature strewn before me.” “I thought I could do it, but I can’t. Being with you is like looking at my old life through a funhouse mirror.”  “I think you need to be the most ‘you’ that you’ve ever been.”  “I do believe in myself. I’m a blossoming debutante on the war path.” “Just relax, you’ll be obliterated soon.” “I - I guess I’m a special person, and I am worthy of respect!” “Can you turn this off and we can talk, maybe?”  “Boy, did I fail deep.” “Maybe I’ll try again in another thousand years.” “I’m not sticking around to see how this ends.” “I didn’t like being ditched earlier.” “I already saved your life, so quit telling me what to DO!”  “You mean these jewels love me more than they love those dum dums?”  “You bossed him back to normal!”  “The jelly is out of the tube!” “Oh, blessings. What a trip.” “Uh... Did you recently get a haircut?”  “Please be careful with yourself.” “I’m... A hero.”  “You really donked up.” “You and I can fix whatever this is, together. Whenever.”  “I was really scared when you left.” “I love you.”

[lilacskyent-blog]

Breakfast with Chelsea

It seems crazy to think about in the age of social media, smartphones, and streaming services, but the internet is still new. Do you remember a time before Google? Do you remember dial up? Do you remember the first smartphone? All of these advancements have taken place very quickly, but there are entire generations who have never lived in a world without iPhones, while some, like myself, have the annoying noise dial-up internet made drilled into our memories forever. Now we live in a world of almost endless possibilities through technology. We’ve gone from growing up with our favorite sitcom actors to growing up with our favorite YouTubers. Nowadays most YouTubers are self-taught, but in the beginning, a lot of the big names on the platform were the underdogs of traditional media. Names like Casey Neistat, of course, come to mind, but also Benny and Rafi Fine, who went from filmmaking to YouTube juggernauts with their React series. Last week I got to sit with one of the first ever teen reactors Chelsea, who has threaded the needle between traditional and digital media entertainer for years. From voice acting commercials to web skits and react videos, Chelsea has left her mark in so many projects and in so many forms you may not have realized she was there. Now she streams on Twitch and has amassed a beautiful, supportive community she calls The Walker Horde, based off her love for The Walking Dead.

So how did your entry into traditional media happen?

I’ve been dancing since I was six. A friend of mine asked me to come with her to an audition for a singing role, and I could audition as a backup dancer. We both auditioned and we both ended up getting the part. So, since we’d be doing music videos we decided to take an acting class. Funny enough, my first acting teacher was Adrian R'Mante (Esteban from Suite Life of Zack & Cody.) I fell in love with it, I saw a chance to pursue a career in something I really love. So I got an agent and just started auditioning and going for whatever’s next.

3 Breakfast must haves?

Potatoes of some kind

Pancakes, French Toast, or Waffles

Coffee

What is the source of your obsession with The Walking Dead?

It’s the story. I’ve always loved horror, but TWD has this amazing story that is about the people, not the zombies but set in a horror scenario. There’s never been anything like it done this well. I was twelve when it came out and was transitioning out of dance so I wasn’t seeing many of my friends. It kept me happy and excited for each week with new episodes. Later when I found the fandom online, everyone is so loving and supportive, it gives a strong sense of community. It helped me through my teenage years.

Ok so I have to ask at least 2 questions about FBE, so first, I know you’re from the era when they used casting sites, so how did all that go down, what was on your mind when you first joined?

I’d just started getting into acting, seeing if I liked it, and there was a casting call. So, I originally auditioned for kids react but didn’t hear anything for a little bit. Later on I got an email inviting me to be on teens react. Before that, YouTube was barely on my radar. I was so into movies and tv that I never saw it as a creative platform.  

Second, which 2 reactors and 2 Walking Dead characters would you select to help you survive the zombie apocalypse?

Rick, cause he just doesn’t die. Carol is really loyal. Norah is super smart so she’d be helpful with medical and engineering needs, and then Dionte, cause he’d be a fun person to have to keep your morale up at the end of the world.

So, the zombie apocalypse is here and you only have 3 songs to keep you going. Which songs are they?

Never Let It Die- Watsky

Phoenix- Fall Out Boy

Cold Cold Cold- Cage The Elephant

How did you go from doing the voice of Barbie commercials to taking down villains on Twitch?

I’ve been doing voiceovers for a while, whenever they pop up. I have two sides to my personality cause I love horror but at the same time I like cute, happy girly stuff. There’s so much to look at and enjoy in everything. Crazy special effects gore, happy endings that warm your heart, I love it all.

What’s your goal? Or your dream?

It sounds cliche, but happiness. I keep my dreams big but my goals small. I like to focus on each step. I just want to make people happy and leave the world better than I found it.

As someone who's worked on both sides, what, for you, is the key difference between digital and traditional media?

Both are really different depending on the scale. In a major picture, everyone has a schedule and a place and you have to stay there. It’s a little more stressed and high pace. With digital, there’s nothing really set in stone cause you’re your own boss and you don’t know if it’s gonna take off or if you’re getting anything out of it. At the end of the day, regardless of platform, you’re creating content.

Your journey is absolutely mind-blowing, how do you process the roller coaster you’ve been on?

I’m still figuring that out. I wake up most of the time in awe. I never thought of Twitch as a job, but now I focus on it and do it multiple times a week. Sometimes I sit and start happy crying cause I don’t understand everyone’s love and generosity. I don’t know what I do that makes people happy, but I’m going to keep doing it. As an actor, you face rejection every day, so to come into this much love is amazing. I’m in awe of it.

Would you ever go full traditional or full digital? If something called to me in traditional I would definitely give it my all, but I’d never fully stop streaming or creating content in other ways. I love interacting with the community there, it makes me so happy. I could never just drop it like that.

Do you know how awesome you are?

No, that’s not a word I would use to describe myself.

Chelsea may not think of herself as awesome, but the multitude of people who tune into her streams and get excited when she pops up in YouTube videos definitely do. In a way, the societal shift from traditional to digital media is a huge piece of her story. Who knows, she could’ve been the next coming of age teen movie actress, or the single survivor in a b list horror film, instead, she’s our digital zombie loving hero, and so much more. She’s bringing joy to so many people every day. For most of us, she entered our lives six years ago through React, and now we watch her freak out when people donate in Twitch, we donate to charity streams, and we even make jokes about her gaming chair and it’s plans to take over the world. Chelsea is a genuine person and a genuine entertainer. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

[ancient-depressed-druid]

Tyrys Week, day 2: Comfort And Confessions

One hour to the end of today and I finally got time to post this chapter, this week is gonna be wild

Tj was shaking on his way to the swings that Monday afternoon. He was going to travel to out of the country for a two-month vacation at his aunt Sheyla's house in Scotland and was debating with himself if he should come out to Cyrus during a near future (possibly), which lead him to the swings, the best option to lay out some stress without all the sweat of the basketball hoop behind his house.

While making his way to the park, tj remembered all the times he had come out that year.

--

01

After his last game of basketball playing for Jefferson middle, tj and his parents went home for a rare homemade dinner, an event kept only for special occasions where tj and his parents would cook together some meal and chat for the whole time. Tj thought that was maybe the best moment he would get any time soon to come out to his parents, so right after they finished layering the lasagna and shoved it up on the oven, he started talking.

“Mom, dad” he stole their attention from their wine bottle, both looked attentively to their nervous son. “I… I have something I need to tell you” Tj stuttered but still looked them in the eyes.

“What is it Ty?” his mom asked with her soft voice, her simple clothes still a little wrinkled from dressing too quickly after her hospital shift to be at her son’s game on time,  her soft blond hair, a tone lighter than Tj’s own, fell at her shoulders with light curls and her green eyes that contrasted beautifully with her faintly tanned skin full of worry.

The basketball player looked at his father, an older version of himself, only with red hair and a full beard, his paler face exhibited the same concern his wife, they love me enough to be worried Tj said to himself internally I can do it.

Taking a deep gulp of air, he looked at his parent's eyes and left forgotten his prepared speech to a short and simple sentence “I'm pansexual” he said as he closed his eyes, not ready to recognize the rejection on his parent's faces.

“Ty,” his father’s voice called him after a couple seconds, he opened his eyes to see their faces full of confusion and another expression he could not exactly pinpoint confused “as much as I would like to say I fully support you” Tj’s heart beat so loud he almost didn’t listen to the end of his father’s sentence “but I think neither me nor your mom could say that without lying to you, since we both don’t have idea of what does that term means” he finished with an understanding expression, almost as he was hurting for not being able to fully support his child in this particular moment as much as he did on every other aspect of his life (including the discovery of his dyscalculia).

His mom seemed to feel the same, as she took a hold of Tj’s hand placed over the table, thumb softly massaging the back of it to assure her son that they meant no harm to him at any moment, only looking to comprehend what he was telling them. Fuck he thought again, exhaling the air stuck in his lungs for the last minute or so I'm so lucky to have them supporting and trying to understand me he then remembered daniel’s words about his family’s views on sexuality and got a little sad for the boy.

“I am pansexual,” he started, oh so much calmer now that his parents weren't going to get mad at him for being himself “ and being pansexual means I’m attracted to a person, no matter their gender identity.” His parents still seemed confused at that explanation “ This means that I can love either a boy, a girl, a person that is both or a person that is neither of those things” his parents looked less confused now, but his mom started crying and got up from her seat to hug Tj. His dad also hugged him, making all of them part of a family hug completed with sobs and wet tears from all three of the Kippens.

Suddenly a loud pig came from the stove, the warning that their dinner was ready, they were quick to separate from the hug and settle the table for the meal, their usual rhythm coming back as his mom cracked jokes and his father told them about his latest project on the firm he worked.

“So you guys are not mad at me?” Tj asked after a few minutes of eating his second portion of lasagna (his parents were indeed really good cooks), mouth still full of the delicious treat. His parents looked at him as if he had grown another head on his arm all of the sudden.

“Why would we be mad at you, ty?” his mom asked, taking a sip of her glass of wine to wash down the food she just swallowed.

“You know because I’m not straight?” he said a little lower “There’s this kid at school, he’s gay, and his parents didn’t fully accept it…”

“Oh baby, I so deeply sorry for your friend, but we want you to know we fully support you, even though we may need a few days to search more about the LGBT community.” His mom answered him.

“And we’re actually kind of ashamed, we didn’t know we were raising you in such a way you felt uncertain of our reaction to this subject, and if you ever felt pressurized to be something you aren’t, we are profoundly sorry for it.”

“And I'm sorry for you to even consider this wrong, how could I feel anything other than pride for my baby boy being able to love someone without restrictions?”

Tj smiled despite the squeezing feeling at his chest, he was so relieved he had understanding parents that loved and encouraged him that much

--

02

Tj never really came out during his first year of high school, he didn’t announce it publically with a megaphone, at the sound of born this way from lady gaga, and a rainbow parade complete with pink glitter in the middle of the cafeteria. It actually when pretty non-climatic to be honest.

He had just entered (after much work and dedication) the basketball team, being the only freshman to play court, so, as per usual on this situations, he got to be a little bit of a celebrity among his peers, being given high fives from random people at the halls, invited to parties at houses he didn't know the owner and girls asked him out almost every week.

So it wasn’t a surprise when his older teammates came near him at his locker during his interval between biology and history (both his favorite subjects, since he couldn’t choose between them both) and took a view of the inside of that said locker, where Tj had put up a small Panic! At The Disco poster (he got really into it since that day), sided by his class schedule, a note from Cyrus wishing him good lock on his high school journey and a small pansexual flag with the words ‘love is love’ written on it.

“YO KIPPENSTER!” called his team captain, Carlos, came accompanied by two other players- Alex and Leo – and the three seniors stopped behind him, hands on his shoulder in a sort of rough massage as Tj replaced his books for the next period.

“My man, why is there a random flag with that girly shit written in it?” asked Leo in a friendly mockery. Tj didn’t even look at them as he responded with half a mind

“That’s the pansexual flag. As in attracted to any gender or biological sex, as in my flag” and realizing what he just blurted out without a care in the world he dreaded himself for if those were panphobic shitheads he, without a doubt, might as well without a doubt he be throwing out all his hard work in the nearest trash can available.

“Oh, okay.” He heard his mates answer and the following “We don’t really give a fuck to who you fuck as long as you keep playing like you did yesterday. And talking about fucking, you going to Thalissa's party this weekend? You have to get laid man!”

--

And that was that up until now he had come out without any problematic consequences, his parents had gotten more involved with lgbtqa rights and his teammates only tried to join him with their friend and random people until they caught him smiling dumbly to his phone after a long practice and none other but forced him to confess his crush on Cyrus and proceded to tease him lightly every time Cyrus went to watch a game at  high school.

However, none of that mattered in sight of telling Cyrus about his crush on him.

Tj was really close to the swings the moment he identified the hunched up form of his friend (and object of his affection), Cyrus goodman.

“Hey, underdog!” he called as he got closer to the set of swings he knew all too well by now.

“Oh hey Tj!” the smaller boy greeted him with a visible lack of enthusiasm.

“What you swinging for?” he asked the now common question between them

“You are probably gonna think I'm stupid for it,” the Jewish boy said looking down at his black sneakers.

“After all this time you still think the worst of me, underdog?” Tj joked as a way of telling the boy he was safe “is that what you take from our relationship till now?” he said and cursed at himself internally, his mouth needed a better filter or else he would just keep coming out to people without the intention to do so and one day he would get himself in a bad situation, just as this one, he thought.

Cyrus, however, didn’t seem phased by the sentence, more worried about his actual problem than overanalyzing his friends choice of words. He sighed and seemed to accept his fate as to tell Tj his problems, the basketball player sat beside the boy on the other swing.

“Take your time” he tried to lift a little bit of the obvious pressure on the other boy's shoulders. Cyrus seemed to take the advice to heart as they sat there in a pregnant silence for almost five minutes.

“I'm afraid of going to high school” he blurted just as Tj thought this subject would just be classified as more of their ‘stuff’ and never spoken about again Tj face frowned in confusion.

“What are you talking about,” he said with light a voice “we’re going to study at the same school again,” he could not control his smile nor the butterflies on his stomach at the mere thought of being able to see Cyrus every day at school again “what would be there to be afraid? You’ll miss Slayer too much?” he joked

Cyrus seemed torn between happiness at the prospect of studying with Tj again and almost desperate by whatever else he was feeling.

“Tj, I'm not afraid of going to a different school from Buffy, I mean, I’ll still have andi and we’re still gonna go out together…” he affirmed with confidence “I'm afraid because I AM different” at Tj’s utter confusion he forced himself to say the words that still sounded too heavy at his own tongue “Tj, I’m gay”

Tj’s heart sank to his stomach, beat faster than ever before and not beat at all, all at the same time at what those words implied. He had a chance, the slightest that it was, it was still bigger and better than what he had imagined.

“Underdog, I can assure you no one gives a shit about your sexuality in high school,” he said, and then realizing how he had sounded he tried to fix his words “I mean, people won't treat you different just for that, I won't treat you any different” Cyrus seemed relieved, but then his anxiety came back with more doubts at his head.

“How can you be so sure?” he inquired from the older boy “ How can you affirm to me that I won't be made fun of or beaten or anything like that?” he grew even more anxious with every word, as well as did Tj, but for completely different reasons.

“I can be one hundred percent honest with you because” his throat felt drier than sandpaper, his hands sweeter than a fat kid on the line to the last McDonald’s burger ever. It felt like he was Lúcifer going to confess his sins to God himself (mental note, don’t read paradise lost after ten pm, or else you’ll end up making more religious comparisons). “I can tell that because I'm not quite straight and I haven't suffered any major bullying during this whole year”

Cyrus stared at him with a blank face, now completely calm all of a sudden “So let me get this right,” he started with a monotone tone to his voice “you are gay”

“Pansexual actually” the blonde boy interrupted.

“So you’re pansexual” Cyrus's voice acquired a heavier, more full of anger tone at every word “and you’ve been out to strangers for a whole year” he was now nearly shouting but contained himself “but to me, ‘one of your best friends’” he made quotes on air “you chose not to say a word?”

“Yes?” Tj said nor sure if he was supposed to be feeling bad or angry about what Cyrus was telling him. But then, before he could weight his options fully, Cyrus made something I've never seen before coming from the boy.

“Fuck!” Cyrus cursed, leaving Tj astonished “Oh my god, Tj, I’m such a shitty friend, ugh, I made you somehow feel like you couldn’t come to me and talk about it unintentionally, haven't I?” he started to beat himself up, that made the taller boy’s heart feel tight on his chest.

“No, Underdog, it's not like that.” He calmed the boy, holding his hands to stop him on his over the top sequence of gestures, it’s now or never. C’mon men, you can do it. Tell him how you feel!  “I didn’t say anything before because, because I…” that moment, Cyrus phone started to ring.

Looking apologetically to Tj, Cyrus got up from the swing set and answered the call. Tj only waited, knowing full well that Cyrus’ parents only called him on emergencies, preferring not to disturb their son during the day if not for something important.

Minutes later the brown-haired boy was back in front of Tj, biding his goodbyes and walking home, Tj and his reasons forgotten in midst of whatever his parents told him that left him in a near catatonic state. Tj watched him run home as his own cellphone ringed in his sweats’ pockets, most probably his mom calling him home so they could travel.

--

Cyrus arrived home were his two pairs of parents waited for him, having already come out to them not long ago made him feel lighter around them and allowed him to act more instinctively by their side.

He couldn’t believe when his dad told him on the phone, still processing the news ‘you’re gonna be a big brother’. But in his living room, he found his mom and stepmom both talking and touching their bellies in a protective way.

He was never happier than that afternoon, receiving the news of two babies on their way, commemorating until late with his family, he only remembered to tell his friends after he got up to his bedroom, too tired to keep partying on the first floor.

He sent a text to buffy and andi marking to see them the next day to share the news and was ready to send Tj the same text when he saw he had a voicemail from a said basketball player. curious, he made his phone play it.

“Hey, Underdog,” Tj’s voice sounded clear through the speaker “it’s me, obviously. I hope everything is okay with your parents” Cyrus smiled at the kind gesture  “I'm calling to give you a heads up that I'm leaving the country for two months since I’m gonna visit my aunt in Scotland…” he felt his heart sink a little, his best friend was going to leave for two whole months.

“about earlier, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was such a coward and didn’t tell you before, I'm so, so sorry.” He felt bad for Tj, the blond’s voice sounded strangled from emotion “I guess I thought you would see me in a different way if I’ve told you, or maybe you would realize how obvious I am” Tj let out a sad chuckle and Cyrus got even more confused at that exclamation.

“ you know, I wanted to do it face to face, but I guess this way you can have time to think about it  better without me around, you can decide how to act when I come back, if you want to keep things as they are…” there was a loud sigh from Tj, Cyrus could hear the sound of running water in the background now, as well as some voices  “so this is my admission of guilt. Fuck, am I really doing this at an airport’s bathroom? I'm so fucked up…” he almost laughed if not for the serious subject of the (one-sided) conversation.

“This is me confessing my crush on you. A crush that lasts for over a year now and just grew stronger, even though I tried to find other people to like, or trying to find reasons to not like you as more than a friend.” All air from Cyrus' lungs was knocked out at the impact of that confession. Tj has a crush on me he thought to himself, unable to do any other thing than just stare blankly at his phone, the only current source of light in his dark bedroom.

“As I said before, from now on the choice is yours, you chose if we should not be friends anymore, or be just friends or if you want to try and be more than that, cause I will follow whatever path you chose, no contestations. I'm not gonna contact you during this months to give you the time to sort things out within yourself. I'm sorry for the sudden bomb I just threw on you…Just,” his voice sounded painful and closer than ever to tearing up “I'm gonna miss you during this two months… goodbye Cyrus”

[theo-loves-broadway]

If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen (Tyrus Fanfic)

Hi!! So I was inspired by @scientifthicc‘s headcanons for Tyrus to write this fic! After writing the first chapter, I realized I loved where it was going, and decided to make it a chaptered fic! :D I only have the first one done, but if you could read and it leave me comments/kudos/reblogs/suggestions, I would be so grateful! I’ll post it on here, and the link for the AO3 version, as well!

LINK: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15287934/chapters/35465793

Snowflakes littered the Goodman's front yard as Cyrus watched the little white flecks dance by the window. It was a lazy Thursday morning; the snow fell hard enough the night before that the administration decided to cancel school. Cyrus, of course, was ecstatic when he heard the news, and couldn't go back to bed, so he spent time looking out the window. His mom and stepdad had already left for work, leaving him alone for the day. His mom had left food in the fridge for him to warm up, but Cyrus wasn't in the mood for reheated matzo soup. He thought about texting Andi or Buffy, but remembered that they were away on a trip to Arizona to help Buffy move in, so that was a dud. He took out his phone, and mindlessly clicked on Jonah's number, the cursor blinking monotonously;

[Cy-Guy: hey jonah, wanna hang?]

Cyrus sent the message without hesitation, and drummed his fingers against the table waiting for a response.

“C’mon, Jonah, answer the text,” he mumbled impatiently, “we both know you’re not ‘out with Andi’ today,” he added, mildly defeated. Ever since the Open Mic and Jonah and Andi’s kiss, Cyrus had been a little, err, a lot jealous, even though he tried to smile through it. He’d avoided Jonah for a while, but decided that the best way to handle the situation would be to talk to Jonah, openly and honestly. Why Cyrus didn’t feel as though he was going to faint was beyond him. Suddenly his phone buzzed, and Cyrus opened his text messages with anticipation.

[JoLamaJama: can’t. out with family. won’t be back till tomm. sry cy]

Cyrus sighed, almost in relief, as he extended his legs out over the edge of the couch. “Great, now what?” he grumbled, his stomach doing the same. Oh, shoot, I didn’t eat breakfast, he thought to himself, the house’s deafening silence hurting his ears. He needed to be hanging out with someone, anyone , for that matter. He scrolled through the limited list of his contacts and hesitated on one.

“I know the chance is really low,” he admitted, already typing out a message, “but what have I got to lose?” he added, hitting send, and reading the message he just sent.

[Cy-Guy: hey tj, do you wanna come over? my parents are out and i’m making breakfast, so you can have some too, if you like. if you don’t i get it that you don’t wanna hang out with a loser like me but, whatever]

And after he sent it, he immediately regretted it. “Geez, could you be any more desperate, Cyrus?” he scolded himself, “You were just starting to have TJ not dislike you, and you just send a text out of the blue? This is so sad, Alexa play Despacito,” Cyrus sighed, and the Alexa on the coffee table responded, Cyrus bopping his head to the rhythm. Just as the song reached the chorus, Cyrus’ phone buzzed, and his heart felt like it stopped.

[Not-So-Scary-Basketball-Guy: yeah sure, im down for that. be there in like 10]

“Oh my gosh,” he uttered, almost paralyzed with shock. TJ actually wanted to hang out with him? How? Why? Before he got too lost in his train of thought, Cyrus hurried around the lower level of the house to organize everything a little. He adjusted the pillows on the couch, arranged the chairs in the dining room to be just so, and then advanced towards the kitchen to get ready for breakfast.

“What do sports people eat? Kale?” Cyrus wondered aloud, looking through his fridge as well as his pantry. “TJ’s just going to have to suffer next game because we’re making pancakes,” Cyrus decided, getting out the ingredients for his famous Chocolate-Chip Strawberry Pancakes. He made them every year for his birthday, as well as his parents’ birthdays, and they were always a hit. To speed up the work, Cyrus pre-diced all the strawberries into small pieces, and ate a few in the process. In the middle of his preparations, the doorbell rang, and Cyrus nearly dropped the bowl of strawberries on the floor he was so startled. Wiping his hands quickly on a towel, he rushed to the door as to not keep TJ waiting.

“Hey,” Cyrus said, awkwardness creeping into his voice as he tried to find something for his hands to do. “Come on in, Not So Scary Basketball Guy,” he joked, cracking a weak smile and stepping aside for TJ to enter.

“Oh, so now we’ve added ‘Not So Scary’?” TJ teased, taking off his shoes at the front door, “Thank goodness I’m not terrifying anymore,” he added, flashing a smirk of a grin as he shut the door behind him.

“Oh c’mon, you’re all bark and no bite,” Cyrus reminded him, crossing his arms in defense. His stomach growled and it sounded like there was a dying whale trapped in his gut. “And that means we should start making breakfast,” Cyrus mentioned, mildly embarrassed, as he led TJ into the kitchen. The countertop had all the ingredients for pancakes neatly organized into a small corner, and all the utensils were by them, ready for use.

“I’m really hoping you’re not going to make me eggs or something healthy like that,” TJ warned, taking a seat and propping his elbows up on the countertops.

“Whaaaat?” Cyrus drawled, happy he didn’t find kale in the fridge, “No way...Jose,” he added. Of course Cyrus would quote a musical, being the theatre nerd that he was. “Only pancakes, of course. The breakfast of champs!” Cyrus proclaimed, slamming his fist on the countertop, wincing in pain.

TJ laughed breathily, pushing his blond locks back. “Don’t hurt yourself before the food is made, Underdog. Afterwards, as long as I have my pancakes, you have my permission to roll down the stairs,” he joked, his eyes smiling along with his lips.

Cyrus merely rolled his eyes, putting his hands on his hips. “Okay, okay, I see how it’s gonna be,” Cyrus snickered, his eyes narrowing and his lips pulling into a devious smile, “you want me to slave away and make you pancakes?” he sneered jokingly, nearly dissolving into laughter.

TJ shrugged, looking down at the bowl of strawberries. “Basically,” he replied, popping a few pieces in his mouth, smiling while he chewed.

“Alright, well let’s make this a little more interesting, shall we?” Cyrus suggested, waltzing around the kitchen mischievously. “How about a challenge, oh competitive one,” Cyrus quipped, glancing at TJ, “you and I are gonna have a pancake battle. And if, or should I said when I win, you have to buy me baby taters for a week,” Cyrus said. “You in?”

TJ looked up at Cyrus and smiled, the shorter boy starting to wonder if this was such a good idea anymore. “You know what? Yeah, bring it on,” TJ accepted, cracking his knuckles, “And when I win, you need to come to my basketball games for a week, with those megaphones,” TJ dared, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms and legs. Nevermind the fact that TJ had never in his life cooked anything other than eggs (which he burned, by the way); he wanted to win.

“Deal,” Cyrus confirmed extending his hand for TJ. They shook hands and only then and there did Cyrus realize how soft TJ’s hands were. He didn’t expect from someone who probably lifts weights and handles a basketball all day.

“Alright, Underdog,” TJ started, carefully tugging his sleeves up to his elbows, “let’s do this thing,” he added with his signature smirk, the one that looked like he’d punch the living daylights out of you.

“On your mark, get set, bake!” Cyrus cheered, rushing for the ingredients. He’d made the recipe a thousand times (well, more like 15) so he knew exactly what he was doing, expertly measuring the dry ingredients, and combining them with the wet, tossing in strawberries.

TJ, on the other hand, had literally no idea what he was doing, so he tried to copy what Cyrus was doing. When Cyrus added some white powder (baking soda, he later learned), TJ would try to do the same. What he couldn’t properly see, he would eyeball the amount; unfortunately, this lead to him adding ¼ cup of baking soda. TJ lunged for the flour, accidentally knocking it down in the process, and a cloud of flour formed, looking like it was snowing indoors, as well as outdoors. After the cloud had settled and the boys had finished their coughing fits, they looked at each other and laughed, doubling over.

“You look like Frosty the Snowman!” TJ snorted, ruffling the flour out of his own hair. “Here, let me,” he started, brushing through Cyrus’ hair, Cyrus shutting his eyes to block out the flour, as well as to not embarrass himself in front of TJ. He kept his eyes closed for a few more moments, before opening them, the light a little brighter than he remembered.

“It appears you may not be as talented as you thought, Kippen,” Cyrus chuckled, setting his bowl of pancake batter by the griddle, already smoking from the heat. Muttering something under his breath, TJ grabbed his bowl of what one could consider pancake batter, and set it on the other side of the griddle. TJ’s batter looked much lumpier than Cyrus’s, and it didn’t have as many strawberries or chocolate chips, since TJ ate most of them before he started. Cyrus poured a few ladles of the batter onto the griddle, the sound of them hitting the metal filling the air. TJ attempted to replicate what the shorter boy did, but the pancakes ended up being misshapen, and he burned almost all of them. The boys stacked their pancakes on plates, and set them on the table, both of them looking at them for a while.

“Well,” Cyrus said, feeling mildly bad for TJ, “I, uh, do you wanna try mine?” he asked, pushing the plate towards him. TJ pushed his plate of pancakes towards Cyrus, the look on his face one of fear.

TJ took a bite of Cyrus’ pancake, and you could practically see the serendipity rush into his body. “Good lord, Underdog,” TJ started, finishing the rest of the pancake in one swift bite, “open a breakfast business,” he complimented, grabbing a second pancake. “Now you have to try mine,” he urged, munching on Cyrus’ pancakes.

Tentatively, Cyrus grabbed one of TJ’s pancakes; it was soft to the touch, but one side was almost completely burnt, and it felt quite dense. He took a careful bite and immediately regretted it. Waaaay too much baking soda, he thought to himself, trying to smile. “Mm, it’s uh,” he mustered, faking a smile, “an interesting flavor...and texture,” he added, forcing himself to swallow, shuddering.

“I know that it’s garbage, don’t even try,” TJ corrected, Cyrus immediately dropping the act.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Cyrus admitted, quickly pushing TJ’s pancakes aside and stuffing one of his own into his mouth, visibly relaxing.

“Guess you won,” TJ muttered, defeated, “just let me know when you want baby taters,” he added, getting up to leave.

“Wait!” Cyrus exclaimed a little too excitedly, grabbing onto TJ’s sleeve to try and pull him back, his face heating up. “I-uh, you know, I could showyou how to make pancakes, you know, better ones?” he suggested, letting go of TJ’s shirt and fiddling with his own.

TJ knitted his brows together in confusion. “You seriously want to teach me , TJ Kippen, kitchen disaster, how to make pancakes? ” he questioned, crossing his arms.

Cyrus felt himself shrink into his own body. “Uhm, yes?” he squeaked meekly, clearing his throat to sound more confident. “Uh, I mean, s-sure, if you’d like to. Anyone can cook. Says so right in the movie Ratatouille,” he mentioned, testing the waters with a weak smile.

TJ thought it over for a few moments, before grinning. “You know what? Sure, let’s make some more pancakes. Anything is better than those ones,” TJ muttered, pointing to the stack of monstrosities that were TJ’s batch of pancakes.

The duo got to work, Cyrus reading off the proper measurements to TJ, and TJ following the directions exactly. This time, thankfully, none of the flour spilled on the ground. By the end, TJ had a luxurious batter ready to be made into pancakes. He spooned the batter onto the griddle, and waited until they were ready.

“Okay, I think they’re ready to be flipped,” Cyrus informed him, handing him the flipper for the pancakes. TJ tried to flip the first one, but it ended up folding in on itself and turning into a pile of batter.

“Told you I couldn’t do it,” TJ sneered, putting the flipper down in frustration. Cyrus walked up to him slowly and took it into his hand.

“Here, let me help you,” Cyrus suggested placing TJ’s hand near his own and walking over to the griddle. Gently, he helped TJ slip the flipper under the pancake, and successfully flip it on the other side.

“See!” Cyrus chirped, not letting go of the flipper, “I told you I could teach you,” he added with a knowing smile. Glancing down at the flipper, he tore his hand away, feeling tingly on the inside.

“Uh-huh, whatever you say, Underdog,” TJ scoffed, placing the flipper down, and breaking the pancake that they had just made in half, handing one half to Cyrus.

“Mm, see? So much better!” Cyrus exclaimed, swallowing the rest of the pancake. “You may not be half bad at this, Kippen,” he chuckled, taking a seat on one of the kitchen stools.

“Mm-hmm,” TJ murmured with a tiny smile, sitting by Cyrus in one of the other stools. The boys ate their pancakes in relative silence, save for the hum of the heater. When they were all gone, the boys leaned back in their seats, letting out simultaneous sighs of satisfaction.

“I, uh,” TJ started, hopping out of his seat, “I wouldn’t want to overstay my visit,” he added, almost inaudibly, but Cyrus caught it. Was TJ actually capable of saying something, dare he call it, polite? Cyrus scrambled to get out of his chair, taking a step towards TJ.

“You’re not overstaying your visit, dude,” Cyrus reminded him, looking up at the taller boy, “ I asked you to come over, remember? I mean, you can leave whenever you want, but I’m not gonna kick you out. Besides my parents won’t be home till late, so you’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” he offered kindly.

“Oh,” TJ said lamely, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. “Thanks,” he added after a slight pause, unsure of what to say.

“So, what do you wanna do? We can watch TV, or, I mean, if you’re still hungry we can eat something else. We have leftover matzo soup, but I wouldn’t recommend that,” he suggested.

“TV sounds nice,” TJ agreed, and went to take a seat on the couch, slumping down in his seat and putting one leg over the other. Cyrus made a comment on how that was bad for his back, but TJ just shrugged it off and flicked through the channels, finally settling on watching Family Feud.

“Legs! Just say legs, my gosh,” TJ said exasperated. The question asked about what body parts men might describe as “long” on a woman, and the second person had just said forehead.

“You’re really into this, huh,” Cyrus observed, glancing over at TJ. His face was slightly red from yelling at the TV, his knuckles losing color as he gripped the edge of the couch.

“It’s not my fault I can’t handle their stupidity,” TJ half-joked, before his smile faded, “Can’t even handle my own stupidity,” he added, biting down hard on his lower lip, ignoring the TV for the first time.

Cyrus frowned, feeling his heart audibly break for TJ. They both knew that TJ has dyscalculia, but that didn’t mean that he was any less of a person, or rather, a student.

“TJ,” Cyrus said softly, shifting slightly towards him, “you’re not stupid. So you need some help with math, so what?” he added, TJ’s gaze not leaving the ground. “You’re not stupid, and you never were, TJ,” Cyrus continued, tapping his fingers on the edge of the couch. What had started out as an innocent hangout had turned into a more serious conversation about TJ’s “stuff”. Cyrus hadn’t noticed through all his therapeutic messages, but hot, angry tears were streaming down TJ’s face.

“Stop,” TJ croaked, and Cyrus immediately turned his attention to TJ, seeing how upset he was. “Let’s face it, Underdog,” TJ muttered, his voice breaking when he spoke, “I’m pathetic. I mean, look at me,” he added with a squeak, peering at Cyrus. His face was pale, his cheeks wet with tears, and his eyes were red and puffy. He looked so...defeated.

“You’re not pathetic, TJ,” Cyrus assured him, pondering as to whether or not he should give him a pat on the shoulder, “emotions are normal to have and to show. I am literally a walking sack of emotions,” he joked, earning a small chuckle from TJ. “But seriously, don’t beat yourself up like that, man,” Cyrus warned him, giving a gentle pat on his shoulder to cheer him up.

TJ shrugged, pulling his sleeves down and wiping his tears, trying to make himself look more presentable. “Thanks Underdo--Cyrus,” he edited, smiling weakly, “for not, you know, freaking out and not thinking that I’m stupid,” he added, the episode of Family Feud coming to an end as the clapping faded. Cyrus just nodded, happy that his friend was feeling a little better.

“I actually should get going, this time,” TJ told Cyrus, standing up, “I have basketball practice soon,” he said, advancing towards the door. Cyrus followed him to say his goodbyes.

“So, uh, I’ll see you later?” he asked, unsure if TJ would want to hang out with him again, judging by today’s events.

“Of course, dude. Remember, I owe you baby taters for a week,” TJ reminded him, slipping on his boots. He opened the door and was greeted by a flurry of snowflakes, littering his hair.

“Oh, wait one sec,” Cyrus sputtered, rushing towards the closet and pulling out a black beanie. “Take it...it’s cold outside, and it’s snowing,” he observed, handing the beanie to TJ, who took it and adjusted it on his head.

“Thanks,” he mustered, his smile evident in his crinkling eyes. “I’m, uh, I’m free later today, say around 6?” he suggested, already on the other side of the threshold.

“Yeah, sure! That works,” he chirped, bubbling up inside at the fact that TJ actually wanted to hang out with him again.

“Cool. Thanks for having me. I’ll see you later,” he concluded, giving Cyrus a small waves before heading out the door and braving the cold and the snow. Cyrus watched as the little white speckles dotted the black beanie that TJ sported. Once he was out of sight, he shut and locked the door, and took a deep breath. Today is going to be one hell of a day, he thought to himself, sitting on the couch and watching the next episode of Family Feud.

[5hfanfiction]

Wicked Games (Chapter 19)

“I’m selfish. I want you all to myself, I swear, you don’t need nobody else.” - PnB Rock

A small, faint buzzing woke me from my nap. I sat up, wiping my eyes and then rolled over to grab my phone off the nightstand.

Dinah: 21st birthday party for Missy tonight at our place! 8 oclock!

I sighed deeply at that text. I had totally forgotten it was Missy’s birthday. Should I really go to that? A part of me wanted to so I could try to talk to Lauren, but a part of me didn’t want to so I could keep away from Lauren, her drama, and all of the feelings she stirs up inside of me.

The girl had done her typical ignoring act during practice and once practice was over she was out of the locker room quick as lightning, probably to avoid me. I tried to text her afterwards, but didn’t get a response. I looked hopefully at my phone one more time to see if she had responded and.. nothing.

I peeked over at the clock. It was almost seven-thirty. For the past week, this is typically when Lauren would be here. Her beautiful body on full display for me. Not tonight I guess.

I couldn’t help myself. I got on snap chat and sure enough, Lauren had added a picture to her story. I opened it up and gulped. It was an astoundingly intimidating photo of her in full makeup. I couldn’t stop staring at her green eyes. All I could think about was her being here with me this past week, how I made her body mine, how those eyes looked at me with such passion. I turned off my phone and stood up. I had to go. I had to see her. I had to get her to come home with me tonight.

I got dressed in my best outfit and put on makeup as quickly as I could. I left my house about twenty minutes after eight o'clock and got to their place about ten minutes later. Once inside, I realized the party wasn’t just women’s basketball. The men’s team was there too, along with some people from a few other sports, and some other people I didn’t really recognize. It was a little more crowded than I was expecting. I was met with greetings from my teammates and I went to each one and gave them a hug. I stopped and chatted with the birthday girl for a few moments as well. I still didn’t see Lauren yet, but whilst looking around I found a different brunette. Keana was there.

We made eye contact and she lifted her cup at me in greeting. I walked over to her.

“Hey,” I grinned.

“Hi gorgeous,” she complimented. “Guess you decided to come out and have a little fun?”

“Sometimes I can have fun,” I mentioned unconvincingly.

“Really? I would have never guessed. You’re always so tense.. well, the two times I’ve seen you, you’re tense.”

“Am I tense now?” I implored.

She took a sip from her cup and gave me the once over. “I don’t know.. I’m not sure.”

I laughed, slightly unnerved by the look she gave me, “I’ll take that.”

That is when Dinah came up to me with an overly aggressive hug.

“Woah.. hey buddy,” I chuckled, nearly falling backwards. The party had only just started, but Dinah was already intoxicated. They must have pregamed.

Dinah was begging me to come with her to play beer pong and she just wasn’t taking no for an answer, so I politely excused myself from Keana and went back to the kitchen. “We got next!” Dinah shouted as we entered the room.

That is where I found Lauren. She was standing next to a guy on the men’s team named Matt. He was of average height, slightly taller than her, with a toned build. He had short light blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I hated to admit it, but he was pretty attractive. They were partnered up on one side of the beer pong table and Ally and Normani were partnered on the other side. Micah and Missy were also in the kitchen along with a couple other guys on the basketball team.

I almost started laughing because it wasn’t looking good for Mani and Ally. They still had seven cups left and Lauren and Matt were on their last two cups. “Guys… you gotta pick it up! Come on now,” I chided to Mani and Ally. Ally threw her hands in the air and screamed “Mila!” as she ran and practically tackled me in a hug. “Man, everyone’s acting like they didn’t just see me this morning.” Normani, clearly the only one here not completely intoxicated, shook her head and gave me a side hug, “even Lebron has off nights,” she tried to justify her poor beer pong performance.

“Who said you’re Lebron? You’re more like JR Smith,” I teased which earned an arm punch from her because JR is her least favorite player on the Cavs. I threw my hands up, pleading innocence, “kidding, kidding.”

Reluctantly I finally turned to the other side of the table. Matt waved in greeting and said, “Hi, Camila.” To which I responded with only a fake smile. Lauren didn’t even acknowledge me and instead complained, “Can we get the game started again?”

I crossed my arms and shook my head. Guess it’s gonna be one of those nights again. Although she wasn’t looking at me, I certainly was looking at her. She was wearing a black and white striped two-piece jumpsuit that was definitely hugging her figure in all of the right places. She wore her hair straight, with it all tucked on one side of her shoulder currently, so the soft skin on her other shoulder was exposed. She was looking elegant, but sexy as hell. I eventually tore my eyes from her and sauntered over to the kitchen counter to fix myself a drink while I waited. I’d only just started pouring the Bacardi into my cup when I heard Lauren and Matt cheering behind me. I turned, raising my eyebrow to find the game was over and Matt and Lauren had completely blown Mani and Ally out. Mani and Ally were each chugging their loser cups while Lauren and Matt were hugging. I did not like his hand placement one bit. It was on the small of her back just barely above her ass. I was already getting irritated. I downed the little bit of Bacardi in my cup, as Dinah called me over.

“Lets do this Mila! We gotta put a stop to their winning streak!” she slurred.

“Yeah, seriously,” Mani groaned after she finished her drink and wiped her mouth. “They’ve won the past four games.”

I looked up to find Matt whispering something in Lauren’s ear. Whatever he said, Lauren was smiling and nodding. Aggravation bottled up and caused me to blurt out, “hey!” I made myself jump I said it so loud. Both of their heads snapped to look at me. Trying to play it cool, I lowered my pitch and asked, “You two ready to start?”

Finally the two of them separated. I was determined to win. Whatever this was going on with them two, it needed to stop. I peeked at Lauren as Dinah rolled the ping pong balls across the table to Matt. Lauren had been looking at me. I stiffened up and when Lauren realized she had been caught she smirked. Smirked! What the hell is that? She looked away because Matt was handing her a ball.

I shook my head, I wasn’t going to let her distract me anymore.

We got started and Matt took the first shot, which he sank. Dinah groaned in response. I watched Lauren intently as she leaned forward making her top raise up a little and expose some skin of her stomach. Her eyebrows creased and she bit her lip in concentration. Gosh, she looked so cu- wait, no I wasn’t letting her distract me. Instead, I decided to focus on the cups. I watched as a ball suddenly fell into one of the cups in the back row.

I frowned and Dinah groaned once again, much louder and much more obnoxiously this time. ‘Damn they’re good.’ The sounds of irritation from Dinah were accompanied by cheers from Matt and Lauren to my dismay.

I picked the balls out of the cups, and moved them to the side. Once again, I avoided Lauren’s gaze at all costs. I already knew those eyes of hers would make me miss completely. I focused on the cups on the right side of the pyramid and took my shot. The ball bounced on one cup then fell into the cup directly behind it. It was my turn to smirk.

Dinah instantly yelled, “That’s two cups, baby!”

I shook my head at her volume, but watched as she took her shot. She airballed completely. She pouted deeply, then turned to me and shrugged. I laughed and patted her shoulder, “You’re just warmin’ up,” although I expected nothing less from her the rest of the game.

The next round Matt missed, but Lauren sank another cup. In response, I made a cup in the corner and Dinah miraculously happened to make the same cup so we got balls back. Unfortunately, we both missed on our second chance.

The game went back and forth until we each had only two cups left. The partygoers around us were cheering me and Dinah along since we were the overwhelming underdogs in this game. Although it was just a simple party game, for some reason I felt there was more at stake. Maybe it was sad, but I wanted to prove to Lauren that I was better than this Matt guy. I knew a stupid beer pong game is not going to determine whether or not Matt is better than me, but I really did not like how flirtatious they were being with eachother so I did not want him to beat me in any way.

My heart was starting to beat pretty fast when I picked up the ping pong ball. I was feeling some pressure. Except for the one shot she made, Dinah had been relatively useless throughout the game because she was too drunk to see the cups properly, so it had pretty much all been up to me. I really wanted to beat Matt and Lauren and put an end to whatever was going on with them.

I was starting to focus really hard on one of the cups when I noticed Lauren out of my periphery. I had done a great job of avoiding looking at her despite multiple attempts by her to distract me, but this time I failed to ignore her. She leaned over the table right behind the cup I was looking at, her shirt hung loosely enough for me to get a great view of her cleavage. My jaw tightened as the cup blurred away from my focus and instead her boobs perched above a push-up bra became my entire field of vision. Almost immediately, my thoughts went to a dirty place, reliving memories of that part of her body pressed up against me. After a few seconds of staring I came to and looked up to meet her eyes for the first time since the game started. That typical arrogant smirk of hers was back. She knew exactly what she was doing. “Are you going to take your shot, Camz?” Lauren teased suggestively.

I blinked in embarassment and threw the ball. It airballed, landing just in front of Lauren’s chest. 'Wow, I really could not have made it more obvious’ I chastised myself internally. The stupid grin on Lauren’s face as she stood back up was enough to have me teetering on the brink of rage. Dinah shot and missed, of course. Now I was starting to sweat, my composure slipping away.

It only got worse when Matt got his cup. Lauren exclaimed, “Yes!” wrapping her arm around him. I could only watch in horror as the two of them smiled at each other, their faces inches apart. Luckily that did not last long. Lauren leaned back, removing her arm from him. Her face constricted again with concentration as she stared at the lonely cup infront of us. I crossed my fingers behind my back, desperately hoping she would miss.

I was sorely disappointed. I heard a clunk as the ball landed inside of the cup. Although the rest of the party groaned like Dinah, Matt started jumping up and down, screaming “Yes!” over and over again. I didn’t know why he was so excited, but I also felt pretty stupid for how lousy I was feeling about losing a dumb party game. Unfortunately for me, there is no redemption shot in this household. I gladly took the assortment of beers inside of the losers’ cup and downed that sucker quickly. The taste was horrendous and my face cringed as soon as I finished the cup, but at least I started feeling a buzz pretty soon afterwards.

Ally called us all into the living room because Missy was about to blow out the candles of her cake. From then on, I did my best to refocus on the true purpose of this party and be a good friend for Missy. We all sang happy birthday for her and cheered her on as she got to take some of her first legal drinks. I enjoyed myself a big fat piece of cake and sat on the couch amongst my friends.

I was joking around with Ally and Micah when I saw it. Across the room was Lauren, seated next to Matt. They were sitting close, too close. My laugh automatically stopped. Both of them had drinks in their hands and even punched them together as if they were cheering something. Then it happened. Matt leaned forward and placed his lips on hers.

Within an instant, my blood was boiling and my fists were clenched so hard, my knuckles turned white and my nails were drawing blood in my palms. I am jealous. Probably more jealous than I have ever been in my entire life. What was even more infuriating was that I didn’t even have a right to be angry. Lauren and I aren’t in an exclusive relationship and we never were going to be, but still, I was furious. Unable to tear my eyes away from what was happening across the room, I saw Matt’s hand begin to wander up her thigh and I felt like I was about to break my teeth I was clenching my jaw so hard. The worst part was that she was reciprocating.

“Mila? Are you ok?” I vaguely heard coming from the direction of Ally and Micah.

“Fine,” I spat out.

I had felt jealousy before with Emma, but I never felt it on this level. With Emma I was never concerned because I felt secure in our relationship. There was no security in my relationship with Lauren, or whatever the hell we are. I felt completely threatened by Matt. He could mess everything up between us. What if Lauren no longer wanted me? What if I lost my opportunity to make her fall for me forever? What if she would stop making late night trips to see me? 'God, I’m being selfish.’ I thought to myself. In all reality, would I even want to have sex with her if she was messing around with Matt at the same time? For a sad moment, I considered what that may be like. What have I become? Where my sexual desires are more important than my sanity and my dignity. But if I was being truly frank with myself.. it was never just about sex with Lauren.

I was about to look away and try to move on with my night, but Lauren pulled away from Matt slightly. However, Matt traveled to her neck, continuing his invasion of my woman. Lauren’s piercing green eyes looked straight at me. My mouth fell open slightly at her nerve. Her lips were curled up into a tight smile. It was as if she was challenging me, daring me to stop her.

That was the straw that broke me. I painfully ripped my eyes from her and abruptly rose from my seat. I charged back to the kitchen, shoving one of the freshman on our team aside so I could pick up a beer bottle out of the pack. I popped the top off and started chugging it. I got about half way down before I got a better idea.

I made my way through the party crowd, keeping my eyes peeled for what I was looking for. I found her standing with a couple of guys on the basketball team a few feet away from where Lauren and Matt were getting cozy.

I sauntered straight past Lauren, not even giving her a glance, and stepped up to Keana. “That offer still stand?” I questioned her, not caring about whatever conversation she had been having with those guys who were clearly drooling over her.

She looked me up and down, an eyebrow slightly raised in surprise, but her lips turned upwards in pleasure. “For you? Absolutely.”

I took a big swig of the beer, grimacing as I struggled to handle the violent taste inside the bottle. I nodded towards the hall, “Then let’s go then.”

Feeling especially petty, I took Keana into Lauren’s room. It wasn’t until I shut the door that I started second guessing what I was doing.

While I was trying to consider what my next move would be, I heard Keana pipe up behind me, “You sure Lauren won’t mind?”

The mere mention of Lauren stirred something inside of me. I turned to face her and responded harshly, “I don’t care and since when do you?”

“Woah, what do you mean by that?” she looked at me with her eyebrows knitted.

Immediately I softened, already feeling guilty for taking out my emotions about Lauren on her. “Nothing, sorry.”

We made eye contact and my pulse quickened. She raised an eyebrow, looking at me with anticipation. I took one more sip of liquid courage and then set the bottle down on Lauren’s nightstand. Leaning forward, I had just barely grazed Keana’s lips before she lightly pushed me backwards.

“You know, what I meant by distraction didn’t have to be sex,” Keana commented carefully.

I sighed with relief. It was like she read my mind. I didn’t really want to do this. I didn’t really know what I was doing to be honest. Seeing Lauren being with somebody else made me snap. Although I barely even kissed Keana, I already felt ashamed by my actions. It felt so high school. I never would have pictured myself acting this way, but Lauren makes me feel things in such a raw way that I almost lose all self-control with her around.

“..If you need to talk.. we can just talk..” Keana’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded, taking a seat on Lauren’s bed with dejection. Keana sat down next to me. I could not believe that this model status girl even wanted to have sex with me in the first place, but now I was even more taken aback by how gentle and kind she was being. She seemed to pick up on exactly how apprehensive I was and she was not forcing me to do anything.

We both just rested there for a few moments in silence. I honestly didn’t know where to begin. I also didn’t know how much Keana knew about me and Lauren. Apparently she knew enough.

“Is this about Lauren?” Keana suddenly spoke. It had been so quiet aside from the distant noises from the party that it almost shocked me. I nodded in confession.

“Look, Lauren’s my friend, but sometimes she doesn’t know a good thing when she’s got it.”

I tweaked an eyebrow upwards, speaking for the first time in minutes. “Ha.. funny, I was thinking that about myself.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed. “I have a girl back home.. I have a lot of history with her.. Not to sound cocky, but I could probably make her mine right now if I wanted to.” I was worried I was saying too much to this relative stranger, but to my surprise, Keana was listening intently.

“Well, I guess that’s the thing,” she murmured.

“What?” I was curious to see what this outsider had to say about my situation.

“If you wanted to, she would be yours right now.. so I guess deep down that’s not what you really want.”

I stared at her, speechless. Was it really that simple? Had this girl I barely met figured me out before I could? That’s not the truth though.. right?

“What if I do really want her, but I’m too scared to give her another opportunity to hurt me?” I wondered out loud.

“Looks to me like you’re giving Lauren an opportunity to hurt you.”

Well, shit. I turned and made eye contact with Keana. There is more to this girl than meets the eye. I see now why Lauren took a liking to her. She is smart and intuitive. I reached over to grab my bottle and took a big swig. “I misjudged you.”

Her eyes softened and a light laugh escaped her lips. “Let me guess, did you think I was a whore?” she asked with a wide grin.

I smiled with guilt at her and nodded slightly.

“Well I am,” she chuckled. “I’d have my way with you right now if you really wanted it, but I’m not stupid. I can see it’s not me you want.”

“Am I that obvious?” I inquired.

Keana shrugged. “No.. you weren’t to me until I saw the way you were looking at her while she was kissing Matt. You looked so sad.”

I looked down, reminded of that horrible moment. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe it, but my gut was telling me to tell her something I hadn’t told anybody. She just seemed so understanding and trustworthy to me in this moment that I couldn’t seem to stop the words before they were forming. It also didn’t help that I was pretty close to drunk.

“I’m falling for her, Keana.”

There. The words were out. I had finally admitted it to not only someone else, but myself as well.

Keana’s comforting voice returned, “I wish I could tell you that I know how she feels, but I really don’t. She keeps most things to herself.”

I nodded, completely understanding. “She definitely does.” All I’ve been doing since I met Lauren is trying to deconstruct those thick walls she has built up. I’ve known her for about three years now and I still feel like I have so much more to learn about her.

I couldn’t believe how wrong I was about Keana. In her words, I guess I was still right, but I only knew her on a superficial level. Now I had seen how much deeper her mind and soul is and I was very thankful I ended up trying to hook up with someone like her. She was a very beautiful girl on the outside, but I could see now that she wasn’t bankrupt on the inside like I had originally thought.

Keana stood up as well and when she did so I pulled her in to a hug. “Thank you,” I genuinely said to her.

“Oh, I’m on that level with you now?” She joked, referencing our conversation from earlier today.

I grinned from ear to ear. “Yes, you are now.”

“Can I at least cop a feel of your ass?” The original Keana I met came out of nowhere. I laughed so hard at that request I probably could have been heard by everyone at the party.

___________________

AN: Back from a long hiatus! Hope you all enjoy :)

[dprwolfgang]

CRZY // Sik-K

He’s sooo squishyyy but gives off such papi vibes like stoppppp!

I don’t usually write in this format but I need practice so I figured why not.Another between wake and sleep idea lmao.

Enjoy!!

You were the first female artist/producer under H1ghr Music which necessarily made you the underdog in a company full of males.You focused more on your production capabilities more than actually singing but you also weren’t a stranger to the rumors that surrounded your signing.Most thought you got in because you knew Cha Cha and Jay assuming that you slept your way up the ranks.

Usually they kept their thoughts to themselves but there’s always one exception and yours was Kwon Minsik the one everybody knew as Sik-K.Minsik had once called you talentless and unapproachable to the male species but not being one for confrontation you swept it under the rug and continued to ignore his existence until one day in particular.

Chase had called a last minute meeting and because of this you had no choice but seeing as it was last minute and you couldn’t find a babysitter you had no choice but to drag your little brother behind you.

Chase and Jay smiled when you entered with Yashel trailing behind you.Yashel’s eyes lit up as Chase called out to him patting the swivel chair in between him and Jay.

“I thought this was a meeting for people with actual talent?” You faintly heard Minsik mumble under his breath only to get elbowed by Jihyun who was sitting next to him.

“We called you guys here because there’s been some underlying tension between a couple of you guys that has led to diss tracks and subliminals being thrown around.”

It was no secret as to what he was referring too as Minsik had recently dropped a diss track towards you and so far everyone in the building was wondering when you’d retaliate and so far you’ve done nothing but sit back and carry about your business.You’d been working with Gray this past week and as much as it was eating at you,you had deadlines to meet but that didn’t mean you didn’t have something for him.

“Minsik do you have anything you want to say to y/n?” Jay asked looking between the both of you.

“y/n do you have anything to say to Minsik?” Chase asked as everyone else looked back and forth between you two.

“I don’t play games with anyone but my little brother so unless he’s cutting my checks,paying my bills,putting food on the table and clothes on Yashel’s back I honestly have nothing to say to him.” If they only knew.

Minsik scoffed as you sat back in your seat. “Please like you do anything around here.I’ve got more talent in my pinky than you’ve got in your entire body.” He said lifting his pinky for emphasis.

“y/n is this the idiot who’s album has five beats created by you?” Your little brother asked in Spanish.You nodded at him.As bad as it sounds your little brother always got an earful about how much nicer Minsik was with his mouth closed.Even though he was only eight he could tell that the only reason Minsik talked about and annoyed you was because you never gave him the time of day.Hell you never noticed when men gave you attention period because you spent most of your time focused on work and any other time on him.

“Look whatever is going between you two ends tonight.Minsik you know better than anyone than to judge a book by it’s cover and what you did with y/n is exactly that.She’s one of the most hardworking 22 year olds you’ll ever come across.As a matter of fact didn’t she produce like half your album?” Jay butted in.

“Jaebum!” You shrieked looking at him.

“What? Wasn’t I supposed to tell him that?” He asked feigning innocence.

Jay knew exactly what he was doing and what he suggested next was just the icing on the cake.

“Look little man here,” he points at Yashel. “ he’s been working on a beat with Cha Cha and I say that whoever has the best freestyle on this beat gets all the bragging rights and squashes this irrelevant beef so we can all work together without the both of y’all and that sexual tension getting in the way.”  

Everyone looked at Jay wide eyed. “ don’t look at me like that,we were all thinking it well probably except little man but everyone knows the only reason he annoys her is because he likes her and she he doesn’t give him attention.” Jay shrugged like it was the most normal thing.

“Can we just get this over with so I can go home and sleep?” You asked shocking everyone as they thought you’d dust it off like you normally do.

“Don’t get to butthurt princess.” Minsik winked getting over his initial shock rising from his seat next to Jihyun and heading to the booth.

Chase played the beat and Minsik got to free styling.You thought his play on words was alright but because he lacked consistency in certain areas it wasn’t something that would put you in your feelings.

“I’m no singer or rapper so you’ll take what you get.” You shrugged getting out your seat and entering the booth as he exited.Chase start the beat over and gave you a thumbs up.None knew you could sing or rap,it wasn’t what you wanted to be known for.You liked being in the background but sometimes you needed to show people why you weren’t to be messed with so you let Minsik have it as you started.

Crazy—I go, I go, I go, I go

Everything I do, I do it with a passion

If I gotta be a bitch, I'ma be a bad one

I'm A.I. with the designs, du-ragging

Bounce back game good, why we talkin' practice?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, pull up score when I want to

Best thing next to Heaven

They be tryna count me out though

I'm just countin', countin' blessins

A real woman 'bout her paper

Niggas don't know where I came from

Why I really really came up?

You never could say I'm backing

All this shit I've been through

And it made me more of an assassin

I kill 'em, I kill 'em, I kill 'em with compassion

And baby, if they askin'

Tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em

I go, I go, I go, I go, crazy, crazy

I go, I go, I go, I go crazy, crazy

Live for the challenge, only make me stronger

One more reason to turn up on 'em

I go, I go, I go, I go crazy, crazy

By the time you were finished the guys jaws hung slack as you exited the booth and called out to your younger brother who just laughed,gathered his stuff and made his way over to you.

“So are we not going to talk about what just happened?” Jihyun asked.

“There’s nothing to talk about,my girlfriend just handed me my ass on a platter and I’m not ashamed.” Minsik revealed.

“Minsik!!” Your head snapped towards him.

“Shit,wasn’t I supposed to tell them that?” He asked feigning innocence just as Jay had done earlier.

“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight pendejo.Matter of fact don’t bring that ass over or I’m gonna cut you.” You roll your eyes at him as you pushed your brother out the door.

“Babe,come on,you know I love your crazy ass even when you’re threatening to beat my ass.”  

“Don’t babe me Minsik and of course you love me.Crazy ass is the best ass and the best ass is some crazy ass.” You winked at him leaving out the door and the other guys to pick their jaws up off the floor.

[italicwatches]

GAMERS! Episode 08

New day, new episode, let’s push on. It’s GAMERS!, episode 08! Here we GO!

-We begin, at a completely different place than usual. The Hekiyou Private Academy’s Student Council, with the narration a young lady who has always been near the top with ease, but never managed to reach the top…Until she became president of the Student Council. She had her moment of joy, of pride…Until one Tendou Karen showed up. Karen, who somehow managed to outdo her in everything, and even best her in this…

-Opening! What’s up next? Oh hey, it’s the dating sim/visual novel one! It’s not really a specific reference to an individual game, so much as an entire genre. Until recently we didn’t really get these in the West at all, and we still don’t see all that many of them. Operating not unlike a choose-your-own-adventure book, they represent a very interesting blend of elements from various Japanese mediums: Carrying a word count similar to a light novel, voice acting similar to an anime or drama CD, minimalistic animation that calls to mind manga more than actual anime, and light gameplay elements borrowed from JRPGs, they can in some ways be looked at as the combination of all of Japanese nerd-culture. Also they really spent a long time as porn games so there’s still a lot of stigma there.

-DAY 08: Erogamer and Watching Mode

-Well with a title like that, things sure lined up.

-Anyways, it’s to a meeting space, with that student council president herself sending off the rest of the council…And then, once they’re all gone, she can just take in the wonder…ful…joy of…

-Oh.

-Well then.

-So our mysterious president is actually a huge pervert as she starts smelling and rubbing on the seats the rest of her Student Council were using. She’s surrounded by cute girls! It is heaven…But wait, there’s more! She slams open a locker, grabs a bag, and…Whatever’s in there has to be even better than girl butt scent. Did she confiscate some boy’s dirty magazines? Either way, her laughter echoes through the night…

-Oh, nope, even…Let’s call it “better”. She has a disguise! A suit, a puffy hat to hide her long twin tails in, glasses and a beard! Clearly she looks like a perverted older man now and can get away with what’s about to happen! Yes. Clearly. She slips into a shop, as her internal narration explains…That innocent, studious Student Council president schtick? Yeah that’s all to keep the world from noticing the real her, who’s a spun-around pervert who loves nothing more than erotic video games!

-Well I suppose we had to do this eventually, huh? Also, she’s so excited by getting a copy of BUILD HEART that her beard falls off and she doesn’t even notice…Which is a problem when she’s spotted by someone else and this gets weird. But she has no idea. Once she comes down from the 18+ section, it’s into the console mess, because hey, the censored console release isn’t too bad either…But she ends up picking up, instead, Golden Memories.

-And dear sweet Flora on the cover suddenly throws a flashback into this girl’s face. Karen went to a different school, and that’s the only reason she wasn’t the Student Council president. So Konoha here got the role by default. …Real talk I’m trying to figure out a joke about hidden leaves and it’s just not coming together.

-Either way now our pervert girl is all depressed as she puts the game back, and is sad ins—Hello cheap game bin! What’s this? An old PS1 era game, Rainbow Court? An old classic that never got the attention it deserved…

-When we hear a voice? We do! Because Keita and Eiichi have come down to this same shop to pick up some vidjagames! Konoha recognizes the uniform of Otobuki, the school her hated rival Karen went to…And damn, that boy on the left is damn. The one on the right, her eyes just kind of glide over. He’s totally generic, like an everyman dating sim protagonist. Our hero summed up, ladies and gentlemen.

-Of course, from Keita’s perspective, he sees…Some weirdo doing jumping jacks in the game store in an attempt to look Normal. But what’re they here for, anyways? Eiichi wants some dating sim recommendations from someone who knows the genre inside and out. Alas, Keita is all nervous about this, as Konoha can’t help but keep listening…Argh, why does this generic guy have to be so waffly…

-Okay, first thing! What does Eiichi like? Well, he did some basic research, and…This one got lots of recommendations, right? Shit I can’t see the title. That’s actually really, really frustrating to me. But okay. So let’s look at the difference in opinions. To Konoha, that game is well made but super super mainstream, so basic it’d go in a damn starter pack. To Keita, it’s a masterpiece, one that he stayed up late every night for an entire week just to finish it. Eiichi decides to get it, and Konoha decides these two are super basic—

-But wait!

-Keita isn’t actually recommending that one! What’s all this now? And Konoha wishes she could just walk away…You damn jerks have her stuck here unable to quit listening! (Gonna be honest, that’s on you) But you want to know what makes the dating sim genre good, right? Then, there’s only one choice! And he goes to the vintage bin, pulling out…Rainbow Court.

-It never did very well. It hit during a flood of the genre to mainstream awareness, and was just an also-ran. But, something about it…If Keita’s going to make recommendations? Then this is his recommendation on where to start. It’s a bit of an underdog of a game, but he can’t help but wanna root for the underdog and show people what it has going for it…You know?

-This, this is why you couldn’t walk away, Konoha! This moment was calling to you from the future! Keita calls Rainbow Court one of his top three games, as her hat has fallen off and exposed her hair…She’s moved, moved to tears by the earnest honesty at the heart of Keita’s words! …Shit. Shit shit shit shit no we can’t add another one what are you doing his life is screwy enough! We just got him out of the core of the chaos by getting him together with Karen what are you doing?!

-Cut to later that night, Konoha’s lost deep in thought, as she looks to her own copy of Rainbow Court…When in comes a family member! Her sister, who sees she bought a new game…Oh, wow, a dating sim? She had no idea you were into these! K-Konoha borrowed it from a friend! …But it has a price tag…JUST GIVE IT BAC—

-…Oh son of a…

-Guess what Konoha’s family name is.

-Go on.

-Go on guess.

-Yeah so Hoshinomori Konoha, Chiaki’s mysterious imouto, is the new addition to the cast ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME NOW IS THAT WHAT THIS IS

-Commercial break!

-And we’re back! Tasuku is narrating…

-…Keita and Aguri’s marriage?! I assume this is a nightmare he’s having. It happened soon after college. They were all there to celebrate the happy couple. Yet inside, everyone in the group was conflicted. Chiaki, who flitted from one construction job to the next, was stuck there congratulating her longtime nemesis (and eating as much of the free food as possible). Tasuku and karen themselves were stuck with fake smiles, watching their own beloveds leave them forever. It was a wonderful ceremony after their lives all worked out…

-…Oh, they’re playing The Game of Half-Life, presumably a spinoff in which it’s impossible to finish because a steam valve blocks the end of the game. Yeah, topical game humor! Tasuku is still thinking you can fix misunderstandings by just talking them out, and has gathered everyone here to calm things down over a game. Oh you poor stupid idiot.

-So Aguri and Keita have gotten married in the game and it’s already going sideways. Tasuku can at least admit he realized shit was not going right, and that “just talking it out” would ever be easy…And thus, this.

-DAY 08.5: Gamers and Half their Life Game

-Cut back to a few days ago. Chiaki was showing Tasuku and Keita that her mom had won an old-timey board game, The Love Love Game of Half-Life, at one of those supermarket lotteries. And she kind of wanted to play it, but such a game has a bare minimum….And thus, Tasuku decided they’d just gather up the whole crew. Them three, plus Aguri and Karen would make five! And it’s so brilliant that he made that face again. Just so we’re clear. Every single time Tasuku makes that face, things are about to go all wrong.

-Even Chiaki realized this was a bad plan, but with Tasuku suggesting it…His brilliant plan was, simply, to get all five of them into a fucking room at the same time to actually talk shit out and destroy the absurd love pentagon around his life.

-Hard cut to the game where things have not gone that way at all. Because everyone’s so damn careful that they’ve ended up in a maximally awkward seating arrangement. Which is how Keita and Aguri ended up as a team. Tasuku’s plan, has…Gone…All wrong. As Aguri gets pregnant during the honeymoon. Which she blames on Keita, as Karen and Tasuku quietly freak the fuck out. Perhaps, this romantic life board game was not the right idea for solving their problems? (Nooooo, you think?)

-The student part of the game, near the beginning, saw Keita and Aguri landing on relationship spaces, while Chiaki keeps failing to hold down work, stuck doing the kind of job that pays you in cash by the day. And Karen, Karen…Oh, poor sweet Karen.

-She’s turning into a spinster, diving into her career to smother her sorrow and shame over the loss of her love to another woman. Oh this is bad. When Tasuku manages to hit the marriage space! He can enter into a relationship and fast-track to marriage with another player! Spin the wheel, come on, come on…If he can get a one or two, Aguri and Keita’s numbers, he can even nullify their marriage by stealing them away from their partner…Come on, come onnnn…

-Congratulations, Tasuku. You win this Chiaki. …Well, I guess housewife is a stable path. No more directing traffic around a construction site for her!

-And Aguri just gives Tasuku a fucking death glare. What, what do you want from him? The spinner made him do it! And now it’s Chiaki’s turn. Two spaces forward! “Your partner cheats on you. You are forced to pay their love compensation for mental suffering. You and your spouse lose 5,000 yen.”

-…Good god this game is dark. And both Keita and Aguri, fully believing Tasuku is a two-timer, are giving him the death glares. IT WAS THE SPINNER HE SWEARS. (Nobody believes you)

-Meanwhile, Keita rolls to…And I quote…”Your lovey-dovey newlywed life reaches high tide! You bust your bed getting busy! You and your spouse pay 6,000 yen.” That’s a really good price for a bed. And now Aguri is getting legit embarrassed that he can’t be more…discreet, about what the space said. I mean, lass, it’s on the board. But soon their argument starts sounding like an actual married couple as she blames him for going too hard and being too loud about it, and oh god Karen and Tasuku are about to die.

-O-Okay, Aguri’s turn! …She, broke the bed this time. Just, just take her money and leave her alone. Tasuku can’t even feel jealous at this point, he just feels sorry for anyone that has to buy two beds because they keep breaking them.

-Karen! What’s Karen going to get? Will her solo streak finally en—

-“Your love interest won’t even look at you, but you’re popular with your clients. 100,000 extra income.” This game is the worst. Karen can’t even pretend to be happy. This game is wearing her out worse than her actual romantic woes.

-Tasuku? “You cheat on your partner with their sister. There is bloodshed. Miss a turn.” Oh god, Tasuku…With Konoha?! She’s just a kid! What kind of sick freak are you?!

-And that’s when the door slams shut and Tasuku has a legit panic and Chiaki admits that must have been her sister getting home. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A SISTER?! Tasuku legitimately feared for his life for a moment there. Okay, deep breath, deep breath!

-Chiaki’s got a roll! Will she manage to pull her marriage back together?

-No.

-No she will not.

-Would you like to know what it says?

-“You realize that your soulmate was someone else. You learn that you had some fateful connections with them, and you become infatuated. You get distracted at work and lose 3,000 yen.” Well that’s really vague…And then Keita pokes fun at her for getting such a vague, girly woes kinda space, and Tasuku would just like to fucking DIE now please! Could he actually get stabbed by your sister now would that be okay?!

-And the worst part? Only he fucking knows how prophetic that fucking space was! Only he knows the double lives these two lead! Only he can realize how much this sucks! Okay. Okay deep breath. Try to calm down JUST PLAY YOUR TURN KEITA AND LEAVE HIM ALONE

-Keita gets the same space as Chiaki.

-Tasuku screams internally. And then externally. FUCK THIS GAME AND EVERYTHING THAT LED THEM TO THIS TWISTED MOMENT OF IRONIC SPINS AND BROKEN LIVES

-And that’s when Keita admits how much fun he’s having, and how he never gets to spend time around friends like this…And that starts to relax everyone, as Aguri’s turn comes up, and she manages to land “The person you’d been seeing before makes a move on you.” Why, that sounds like it could all work out! Aguri and Tasuku look to each other, all blushy and ha—

-“But your love for your current partner is unwavering! You turn them down without a second thought, and reaffirm your own love! You have yet another child.”

-…Welp.

-I’m just gonna sit here in the corner because life is a lie.

-Aguri would like you to START USING SOME PROTECTION KEITA AND QUIT PUTTING BABIES IN HER THIS MINIVAN CAN ONLY HOLD SO MANY LITTLE BUNDLES OF JOY

-Okay, Karen’s go. Can she turn things look let’s be honest she can’t. “You become an important person. You make money. Earn 100,000 yen.” THE GAME ISN’T EVEN TRYING.

-And then Konoha needs Chiaki’s help with something, which sends her out of the room and gives the others a chance for a break, as Keita admits some curiosity. They look so similar in the face, he almost wonders if they’re twins or DON’T LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT HE’S LOYAL KAREN MA’AM! Salute!

-Oh and then he gets an alert on his phone. The MMO has a new event starting today! And Tasuku just stares at Chiaki’s phone, which has the notification light start blinking. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck what if they start talking about the game and realize they both play?! He’s finally gotten Keita and Karen out of the loop so he can deal with the Chiaki and Aguri problems and this could rip them right back into things! …You go RIGHT the fuck under that couch, phone! She won’t find you until after everyone’s gone!

-While Karen looks at the game and starts asking questions but Keita is wrapped up in the event battle he’ll explain details later! And she decides she’s just happy to watch and see him so focused on something. And Aguri comes and sits by Tasuku, saying how happy she is that things are working out for Keita…And Tasuku, Tasuku can’t take not knowing, as he has to ask what the hell’s been going on! What does she REALLY think of Keita?

-He’s…Like that really high-maintenance little brother. And he’s a little annoying now that he’s got a girlfriend. But she’s just so damn happy to see him finally get his happy ending, she can’t be too mad at him for the annoying parts…

-And Tasuku, finally, relaxes, and holds Aguri’s hand. Which sends her into a flailing blushy panic, as Aguri expected him to not be so forward in front of, you know, Karen…But what does she have to do with it? …What indeed. The two can relax, realizing they were both loyal the whole time…And this all might work out. It’ll all, work, out, and everyone will be happy togeth—

-Keita can’t beat this boss without Mono-san. And Karen would like to know who this Mono-san is. His guild bro! They’re always there to help him out! Karen suddenly feels like she’s under threat of losing her beloved to some online relationship. J-J-Just how many online friends do you have? Well…He uses a handful of names in different places, and really only has serious friendships with a few people as Chiaki comes back….

-And Tasuku realizes OH FUCK IT’S ABOUT T—

-So in this game he goes by Tsucchie and his only real major friend is Mono-san. But over on forums he goes by Yama-san and has a really good friendship going with his favorite indie game dev, Nobe-san. And Chiaki hears the whole thing, as the gears start to turn in her mind, and Tasuku just quietly wishes he could die now please. Heart attack? Brain aneurism? That stabbing sister thing? Just, just kill him. Kill him before it all pops off.

-Keita admits that those are the only two real major online friends…But Mono-san and Nobe-san, he’s known them so long, they’re really special and important to him. They might be a bit surface level at times, but he feels like…Like he could be a little vulnerable to them, you know? They’re true, and precious, friends…

-As Tasuku narrates, how Chiaki has made it to the start line of this race at the worst, possible, moment imaginable. A tragic sight, as all the pieces come together, and she in turn realizes how important the different facets of Keita are to her, when it’s much too late to do anything about it…Oh, god, that look on Chiaki’s face…My heart weeps for you, kid.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Konoha is mulling around the apartment, bored…When she finds a broken Chiaki collapsed behind the couch?!

…Well that’s gonna turn into a mess next time. Our only hope is that Konoha doesn’t develop a crush on the fucking guy too, and we can keep a fairly stable pentagon until things turn sideways. I expect even that hope to be dashed, though, in episode NINE of GAMERS! Wait for it!

[saeitoshi]

THESE ARE SO MUCH BUT PLEASE JOIN IN ON THE YUGIOH RAMBLE FEST JESS!!!! 1 2 3 4 6 7 10 11 12 13 14 17 19 21 22 21 24 25!!!!!!!

AHH!!! VEN!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!! ILY YESSSSS I’M READY TO JOIN THE YUGIOH RAMBLE FEST!!!!!!!! XD 

(this is definitely going under a read more because it’s gonna be a looooooong one haha)

ygo ask meme!

1: Favorite series?

ahhh i feel like one of THOSE people but!!! duel monsters is my favorite!!!!! i started watching it when i was 4 years old when it was on kids wb and it has stuck ever since (honestly there’s not a single year in my life ever since where i remember not watching a yugioh series)

2: Favorite character?

jounouchi katsuya/joey wheeler!!! i love the underdog character LOVE IT and!!! HIS DEDICATION FOR YUGI!!!!! TO WANT TO HELP HIM!!!!! EVEN THOUGH HE STRAIGHT UP HAS NO CONNECTION TO THE EGYPTIAN LORE WHATSOEVER!!!! EVEN THOUGH DESTINY DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED FOR HIM TO BE A PART OF DEFEATING THE ULTIMATE EVIL!!! HE STILL DOES HAS ABSOLUTE BEST (AND HONESTLY SUCCEEDS IN MOST CASES!!) AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!! TO SEE HIM GROW AS A CHARACTER AND AS A DUELIST!!!! (I MEAN BEING IN THE TOP 3 OF THE CREATOR OF DUEL MONSTERS MAXIMILLION PEGASUS IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!!!!) ALSO HIS FIGHTS AGAINST KAIBA GIVES ME VITALITY AND STRENGTH HAHA

3: Favorite scene?

i already answered this one but another fave scene?? THE END OF THE YUGI VS JOEY DUEL IN THE BATTLE CITY ARC BECAUSE!!! YUGI WAS SO DETERMINED TO SAVE HIS FRIEND!!!! DIDN’T WANT TO HARM HIM AND EVEN SWITCHED WITH THE PHARAOH DURING THE DUEL BECAUSE HE WANTED SO MUCH TO HELP JOEY!!! AND WHEN JOEY DID SNAP OUT OF IT YUGI SACRIFICED HIMSELF!!!! AND THEN JOEY SACRIFICED HIMSELF RIGHT AFTERWARDS!!!! SO THAT WHEN BOTH OF THEM SANK AND WERE DROWNING, JOEY FREED YUGI FROM HIS CHAINS SO THAT HE COULD BE SAVED WHILE JOEY KEPT SINKING WITH HIS CHAINS STILL LOCKED!!! and wow that was such a roller coaster ride to watch but the friendship!!! is so strong in this scene!!!!

4: Favorite duel?

okay let’s be real for me IT’S THE YUGI VS KAIBA DUEL IN THE BATTLE CITY FINALS!!! each turn was action packed with twists and turns and i think i rewatched that duel at least 10 times and it’s as interesting as i watched it the first time around XD

6: Favorite Duel Monster?

i answered this one too but another one for me?? i love endymion, the master magician! (again there’s no particular reason, mostly just the design hahaha XD)

7: How many of the series have you seen?

i’m such a dweeb because LITERALLY ALL OF THEM!!! including season 0 haha i’m such yugioh trash :’D

10. Do you play the TCG?

i don’t unfortunately!! i don’t really have any tournaments nearby nor do i have the money nor time to invest in it nor the skill to be good at it haha though when i was younger i had the gba game that i loved! and i played duel links like every single day for like 4 months straight until real life stuff took over :’)

11: How long have you been into YGO?

literally since 2001 when it first aired on kids wb (my sister and even my dad would always watch it together!!) so it’s been 16 long years and still going strong!!! i’m so happy it’s still a part of my life :D

12: What got you into the fandom?

tbh i had so much love for yugioh that i wanted to tell the world so when i started to just scream my thoughts on tumblr about it that was my entrance into the fandom not the most elegant way of entering a fandom i suppose XD but everyone has been so nice and receptive in the ygo fandom and it’s made my experience with yugioh even more enjoyable :’D

13: Do you ship?

sometimes i do!! honestly it depends on how the relationship is written out throughout the series but when i ship, i ship hard XD

14: If so, what's your favorite shipping?

my favorite shipping is fruitshipping tbh!!! YUYA AND YUZU ARE JUST SO PURE AND THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!! AND I’M GLAD IT ENDED HAPPILY FOR THEM EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK THEM LIKE 100 EPISODES TO REUNITE PSFJWKLERF WOW THAT WAS A PAINFUL WAIT

17: What merchandise do you own, if any?

i haven’t bought any merchandise in the recent years, but when i was younger i bought tcg cards/tin cans!! and for christmas/birthday my uncles/aunts would get me the structure decks so yeah lots of ygo cards :D 

19: Favorite OP/ED?

ooh i really like yugioh 5d’s op 2!! that song was always catchy to me!

21: Favorite protagonist?

ahhhh i have to pick yugi muto!! so pure!!! an actual cinnamon roll!! AND HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!! WAS SO ON POINT!!!! ABSOLUTELY LOVE AND ADORE HIM ;A;

22: Why do you like YGO?

so many reasons!!! 1) it’s really action packed!!! i love watching the duels go on and the strategy involved in them 2) so much friendship!!!! i just love it so much omg i cry watching these children love each other :’) 3) character development!!! i get really sad when it’s not executed properly, but when it does work out it’s absolutely a beautiful thing to watch!! 4) it’s been a part of me ever since my childhood and it’s something i’m glad i can still enjoy

24: Favorite Duel Disk design?

ahh i love the classic yugioh duel monsters one!! idk why i like the color scheme and the square-ish look ^^

25: Headcanons you have?

i don’t really have any!! if anything i’d like to think that in arc v somehow everyone ends up unfused and live happily ever after though this isn’t really a headcanon more like a dream i wish was real hahahhahaahahaha

[forthestarprinces]

Heacanon Idea. 💕

Hello! <3 So excited to see more SCM posts from you. I have a headcannon in mind, perhaps of one where the gods react to after watching MC play during a sport event? (Cheerleading, Soccer, Figure Skating, Etc)I think that this would be a very humorous and sweet headcannon to do. Thank you.😊

sure can! thanks so much for being interested and i hope i don’t disappoint! enjoy!! and the first ever blog posts goes to you!!! ;)

Leon: To say watching your ballet was enticing would be an understatement. You had asked him to come to your opening night at the theater, and he had agreed. He figured you would be a blushing mess on the stage, fumbling through the motions of the dances, like when you snuck into the ball in the heavens. How wrong he was; when he saw your face, expressive though not in the least bit nervous, he was shocked. You actually looked…what was the word you had used when describing seeing him at work? Ah, yes, cool. Your movements were graceful, and the way that your body bends and twists and leaps to the piece was shocking. For someone so clumsy, who knew you could manage to actually be limber?

“Wow! The ballerina in the swan costume is so beautiful, I’ve never seen anything like her before!” exclaimed one excited patron, causing Leon to zero in on you. He felt a surge of pride go through him at the compliment. That’s my goddess, you foolish goldfish. Of course she’s beautiful; she is my one and only love.

He continued to watch your play with adoring eyes, his gaze pinned to you. You never once faltered. His grip on the flowers he got for you tightened as the show drew to a close. During bows he watched as your eyes search the crowd, eventually meeting his. He smirks and claps for you, and you blush scarlet as flowers are thrown onto the stage and shouts of your name rise in the theater.

And well, if he tested your flexibility later, it was your own fault for not telling him sooner.

Scorpio: He sat on the bench as you glided across the ice, leaping and twirling backwards to face him and grin as you landed on one foot. He rolled his eyes but couldn’t deny how silly you looked with your eyes trained on him.

“Come on, Scorpio,” you call from the ice, skating across the ice towards him. You grab onto the wall and pout. “It’s boring to be here all alone. Come in and skate with me.”

“No.” Was his automatic reply.

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No means no, woman.”

“Pretty pretty please with an bunny-shaped apple on top?”

“Absolutely not.”

You sigh and shove yourself off the wall, turning around. You knew exactly how to get on his nerves. And so without looking back, you say, “You know, if only Ichthys was here. He’d definitely skate with me.”

Scorpio glared at you, seething. “Stupid fucking woman, always testing me and spewin’ bullshit,” he mutters as he takes off his shoes. He continues to grumble and keep an eye on you as he ties the skates on and makes his way to the entrance. He holds tightly on the wall and calls out to you. “Are you happy now? Is this what it takes for you to shut your trap?”

You whirl around, your eyes sparkling as you quickly make your way over to him. You grip on to his arm and pull him out.

“W-wait! You stupid woman!” he cries as he holds tightly onto your forearms as he almost falls over. You giggle and meet his gaze.

“Why, do my eyes deceive me?” you ask in a dramatic tone. “The great, renowned, truly inspiring Vice Minister of the Punishments Department, all-powerful god of the zodiac, ruler of Scorpio, doesn’t know how to skate? Is scared to fall?”

He glares at you and shoves off, only to quickly regret it as he falls on his face automatically. You howl with laughter, and skate off laughing, all the while mocking him.

“Tsk! You’ll pay for this, you damn idiot!” he roars as he tries to get up and fails, falling back onto the ice. You skate by and kick artificial ice onto his face.

Regardless of how graceful or cute you looked, he was going to kill you. As soon as he could get up and catch you.

Teorus: Teorus had to admit, horses were pretty cute. Cows were obviously cuter, but your little outfit made his heart race. He always thought of himself as the Knight in Shining Armor, and yet when you came out from the changing rooms in your tight riding pants and high boots, your hair pulled away from your face in french braids – why, he felt like he had died and gone to heaven.

“You’re gonna do so good! And you look so cute,” he coos over you. You laugh as he helps you put on your gloves. You turn to the mirror to give yourself a once-over, and he takes the opportunity to grab your ass. “Do we have time to do it before you have to leave?” You watch him pout through the mirror and shake your head.

“No, Teo, and we can’t anyways. We’re in public,” your face flushes. You open your mouth to continue when a trumpet sounds over the intercom, telling all riders to make their way to the stables. “I gotta go, and you should head back out to the stands.”

He catches your chin with his hand and turns your face up to his and presses a sensual kiss to your lips. “Alright,” he mumbles against your lips. “Don’t let anyone else see you look cute as you go get your horse, though!”

You roll your eyes and grab your hat, placing it on your head as you exit the room, Teorus following. My goddess should really wear pants more often, he muses as he watches you walk. She looks so sexy, and it’s unfair! I can’t have anyone else see that!

He eventually finds his place in the bleachers, and once the race begins, is practically leaning over the boundary of the track, his eyes focusing on your form, pressed against your horse. The announcer’s voice fades into the background and he can only see the carefree smile on your face, the look of pure childlike joy as your guide your horse around the track expertly. “Go (Y/n)!” he cries, bouncing as the race continues. You were neck and neck for first place, and oh, how Teorus wishes you never told him not to use his powers to help you – it was so obvious you should win!

And the finish line was only 500 feet away from you and your competitor. It was as if you stopped breathing and could only focus on the clomp-clomp-clomp of your horse’s feet on the dirt track. You turn around, seeing a flash of the stands and your competitor, when you see a flash of golden hair. And you knew it was Teorus. It was the final push you needed before you cry, “Come on, boy,” and give your horse one final push in order to cross the finish line first. The whole crowd cries in approval and shock, as this was your first year as a jockey. You were the underdog, and yet you had just won a national horse racing competition. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

And Teorus screams along the crowd. He knew you could do it, because you were the one who taught him to love. You were his goddess, and you could do anything you set your mind to. He watches as tears stream down your face and thinks about how lucky he was to have met you.

Dui: The excitement of the entire crowd was tangible as he enters the softball field. He could see you practicing with your catcher, each one of your throws easily going 70 miles per hour. He takes his place in the stands, watching the umpire blow the whistle, signaling the start of the game. As you walk back to your dugout you see Dui and wave at him. He enthusiastically waves back, a warm feeling entering his body. The two teams shake hands and then the coin is thrown to see who bats first.

It ended up in the other team’s favor, yet Dui was not worried about your abilities. He knew you, and knew you wouldn’t give up. You take your place on the mound, and breathe deeply before winding up. The batter, bulky and arrogant, had taken her place and was taunting you. Dui could see your eyes narrow from where he was, and hid a smirk.

That’s my girl, Shadow Dui laughs maniacally from within. Dui shushes him, and the two somehow remain in union throughout the game, both focused on you.

It was the final inning and your team was back at the field. This pitch could mean you win. You kiss the ball and pray, gaining a few chuckles from the crowd.  Dui was mesmerized at how charismatic you were without even realizing, how you had an affect on everyone around you.

Of course she does, Shadow Dui answers smugly. That’s what makes her ours. The very fact no one can touch her except us. She’s ours.

The final pitch was made, and it was as Teorus had slowed down time. The ball clocked 92 miles, and the crowd was amazed as the best batter on the rival team missed, the ball going straight into the catcher’s hand.

Screams erupted, and the whole team rushed the field, picking you up. The crowd applauded, Dui laughing at your expression from being held midair.

He knew you were the only one for him. And watching you play a sport you clearly loved, and sharing the experience with him, made him happier than he’s ever been. He would always support you, and was always shocked when he found out new talents of yours every day. He could feel himself falling for you all over again.

And later, when you’re packing up, he kisses the black warrior streaks placed under your eyes. You lean into him, wrapping your arms around him.

Your voice was muffled through his shirt. “I really need to take a shower.”

The two of you burst out laughing, walking back to your apartment.

Huedhaut: “Oh, dear,” the god of Aquarius sighs as he watches your team struggling to catch up with the three other teams. As of now, your team was in last place out of four. He knew you would win, yet he was wondering if his predictions were wrong for the first time. He watched as you shouted encouragements to your teammate as she tosses the button through the air. Your other three competitors had already taken off, and you fumble as you catch the button. The whole crowd goes wild.

“There is no way that girl is going to win,” he hears one man say to another. “Did you see the way she caught it? Like how the hell does she run if she can’t even catch a fucking stick.” The two men guffaw and shake their heads. Huehaut shoots the two of them a glare, turning his eyes back to the race. You can do this, (Y/n).

You take off running.The look of pure concentration and determination of your face was admirable. The other three runners were taller – as tall as Hue himself, actually – and had longer limbs. Yet to see your cute little face get scrunched up was amusing to say the least. He felt a smile tug at his lips as he watched you speed up.

Your arms swing and your feet slam against the track. You zero in on the track in front of you, pushing yourself to the limit as you lean forward a little and test your body. You continued, and caught a glimpse of a passing rival from your peripheral. Come on, (Y/n), you got this! Don’t let your team or Hue down!

And you pass another rival. Shouts of surprise rise from the crowd, and you could vaguely recognize your teammates’ voices alongside your coach. That was all the encouragement you needed as you race beside your last rival for first place. And finally, the finish line banner was only 10 feet in front of the two of you. You grit your teeth and lengthen your stride, and throw up both hands as your midsection made contact with the ribbon a millisecond before your opponent.  

You slow down to a finish, and raise your hands in the air, screaming as you race to meet with your team. Your coach grabs you and swings you around as the award comes out. You felt tears stream down your cheeks. Months of hard work finally paid off. You felt immortal in that moment.

Huehaut claps for you, and slowly turns back to the two men who dared to challenge you. They were speechless and weren’t clapping, simply staring at the track in shock. He taps the closest one on the shoulder and they both slowly turn to him.

“Yes, I believe you two are the gentlemen who said my girlfriend wouldn’t come close to winning before, right? Tell me, how does it feel to know how wrong you were?” Hue snorts and crosses his arms. “You two goldfish have a lot of nerve to go against her like that. She may look weak but she never loses. And it’s a good thing I’m in such a forgiving mood. I could’ve just ruined the two of you beforehand, but it looks like I didn’t have to do that. Because she did that all by herself. Next time, watch who you’re speaking of before you open your imprudent, clueless, moronic mouths.”

And he leaves to go congratulate you, leaving the two idiots behind.

He had never been prouder.

Ichthys: Your teams were tied, and you dribble the soccer ball between your feet. You were the only team member free, and you race along the side. A girl from the other team rushes up and tries to kick the ball out of the boundaries, but you simply give the ball a high kick and make it to the other side of her in time to catch the ball with a chest bump. You refocus the ball on the ground and race away.

The crowd screams in excitement at this site of skill, the other girl left behind in shock. You race towards the goal, dodging the ball and giving it one long kick outside of the opponent’s radius. You chase after it, zeroing in on the ball.

“HELL YEAH! THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!” you hear Ichthys scream from the sidelines. “GO GET THEM BABE!”

An official walks up to him, and the god of Pisces doesn’t look away from the game. “Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to calm down.”

“I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!” he cries in excitement, pointing at your form. The goal could be yours with one kick, and you could get your team ahead. He pushes past the guard and jumps up and down, yelling and pumping his fists, when suddenly his demeanor changes in a second. His hands fall to his side and he closes his mouth, scowling as he watches the undesirable scene in front of him.

The goalie had decided to tackle slide you – and everything slowed down as you saw her legs kicking out threateningly at you. Ichthys quickly snapped his fingers discreetly, and the goalie ended up falling in the mud, her back hitting the ground first. You watch in shock at the pure stroke of luck that had happened before your very eyes. You quickly kick the ball, the ball rocketing off the webbed lining and falling inside. The scoreboard lets out a noise, as it did with every score, but was quickly drowned out by your own screaming and the crowd’s.

Ichthys laughs and turns around to head back to the actual stands, when he sees a little boy with an ice cream cone. He meets eyes with the kid, who looks at the god with horrified interest. His ice cream cone falls to the ground in shock, though the little boy doesn’t care. He just continues to watch Ichthys like he just witnessed a murder.

Ichthys swears under his breathe and looks around before refocusing on the child. He grins at the kid, trying to mask his concern for being caught. “Hey there, kiddo, dropped your cone.”

“You just…!” the kid sputters, face flushing as he points at Ichthys’s hand. “You just cheated!”

Ichthys furrows his eyebrows. “Did not.”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did too!” Ichthys says, changing his approach.

“Did not!” the kid screams in anger and frustration, and then realizes his mistake of playing right into the God of Pisces plan. He slaps his hands over his mouth. “Wait! I didn’t mean that, I meant-”

“No taksie-backsies!” Ichthys sing-songs, grinning at his win. He checks if the coast is clear and then squats in front of the kid. “Tell you what,” he hums, snapping his fingers. Two taiyaki appear, one in the kid’s hand and one in Ichthys’ hand. “I’ll give ya this if you promise not to tell anyone about what you saw.”

The kid swallows, weighing his options very seriously despite being six years old. He finally meets the god’s eyes after a moment of pondering. “Make it two and I won’t tell anyone.” Ichthys sighs but snaps his fingers, another taiyaki appearing in the kid’s unoccupied hand.

“You run a hard bargain,” he grins. “I like that. Now scram.”

The kid runs. And Ichthys whistles as he makes his way back to the stands, satisfied with his negotiating. As long as she doesn’t know, there’s no harm. I mean, it’s not like I couldn’t do anything! Imagine her sad face if she lost, or worse – if she got hurt! These human women are scary!

And he is content watching the rest of the game play out without helping again. He knew if you found out you wouldn’t forgive him ever. He giggles to himself at the thought of you angry face. She’s so cute when she gets frustrated and yells at me.

But later, he decides as he watches your team rush the field, he likes you smiling after winning much better.

[philiprolz]

CHOOSE YOUR FRANCHISE By Philip Rolz  Nov 7, 2017 

I was lucky enough to go to a couple of Orlando Magic games back in the 90′s and 2000′s and fell in love. But living almost 2,000 miles away from the nearest NBA city made it hard for me to really root for a team, a city, a franchise. But like a drunken, low self esteem college girl with daddy issues I gave myself to the first one that wooed me... a Shaquille O’Neal and Penny Hardaway led expansion team in Florida. I’ve stuck with them ever since. 

But it got me thinking, how do you choose a team? Are some teams more likely to be a fan favorite than others? What’s their fan-ability? Before I make my case I gotta tell you what I took into consideration making this list: how cool or uncool the city is, how good-looking their uniforms are, GM decisions over the years, iconic players, fan base, the culture of the organization, overall success or lack there of, team history. OK, here’s my list:

Atlanta Hawks

You can’t NOT love a place people refer to as “The dirty south”, I mean it sounds fun and rappers made it cool to root for Atlanta based teams (specially the Hawks and Falcons).

Dominique Wilkins and Spud Webb were the first real iconic players that put the Hawks on the map with their amazing athletic abilities. The rivalry with Jordan and the Bulls was real (both in real games and in dunk contests at All-Star Weekends) and people noticed them. They were fun to watch. 

Ever since the “Dominique era” the franchise has been kind of a letdown though. Always underachieving and kinda disappearing in the clutch. 2014-2015 was a clear example of a roster that made a lot of noise but crapped their pants when it got real in the playoffs.  

Currently they’re probably one on the top teams looking to tank this season to get a franchise defining rookie in this apparent “loaded” draft, so the Hawks aren’t really a team you root for this year but they have been fun to watch largely in part of high flying young players like John Collins and Taurean Prince.

Fan-ability: B-

  Boston Celtics

The Celtics are one of the most successful franchises in sports. Their fan base is extremely loyal, somewhat violent and friggin’ loud. They might be responsible for starting the whole “superteams” trend some seem to hate, but when it comes down to it, it’s just good management and recruiting. Then there’s the legendary Celtic players from oldies Bill Russell and Larry Bird to not so oldies Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. These guys are deified by the hardcore Boston fans and man have they come through with epic playoff performances and hard nosed triumphs.  Nowadays they seem to expect a LOT from the young roster GM Danny Ainge put together majestically and guess what? They are they fun to watch. Kyrie Irving has the most insane handles in the league and I haven’t seen a small guard finish as efficiently in the paint since Tony Parker’s best days. The Celtics are also very similar to the Spurs when it comes to drafting well which is a big thing for fans looking for franchises to root for when there’s youth and potential. Will Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown be the NBA’s next studs? Will Markelle Fultz be a complete bust? (therefore making the Celtics even smarter)  The Celtics are NBA Elite and that makes them either really loved or really hated.  Fan-ability: B+

Brooklyn Nets

Brooklyn, New York. Home of everything cool in the world, right? Wrong! The Brooklyn Nets seem to be a forced fed team (notice the cheesy SI cover above) completely divorced with the whole swagger of this New York borough. Nobody wants to be associated with failure, and the Nets have been failures in so many ways during the last years it’s embarrassing. They basically gave away all their draft picks, they over-hyped a Deron Williams that was arguably one of the biggest free agent busts of all time. Their iconic players? Dr J? Jason Kidd? Kerry Kittles (just kidding)? Kinda feels weird picking guys who did play for the Nets, just not the Brooklyn Nets. I feel bad for them though, playing in one of the biggest markets in the country and not being known for enticing big name free agents, not even with Jay-Z helping them out for a little while. I’m pretty certain HOVA wanted out before the stink rubbed off on him.  They haven’t drafted well, they’re not fun to watch, they’ve become synonymous with losing. The only good thing they have going for them is the fact that Brooklyn is a tourist destination and there’s a chance some tourist will buy a Nets ticket before a Knicks ticket.

Fan-ability: D+

Charlotte Hornets

Remember those big flashy Starter Jackets with the Charlotte Hornets logo plastered all over them? Those were the days! The Hornets used to be good and/or fun. An Alonzo Mourning team alongside Larry “Grandmama” Johnson, Muggsy Bogues and Steph Curry’s dad (who apparently could shoot very well, too) was a fun thing to watch.

Several years later it all went straight to hell with the Bobcats. Let’s face it, when you think of the Bobcats you think of a bunch of scrubs and Adam Morrison. Good God!

Now they’re back to being the Hornets, although, they’re still not that fun. They don’t have Zo they have Dwight Howard, one of the least likeable players out there. They don’t have LJ, they have Frank Kaminsky (crickets chirping). They don’t have Muggsy they have Kemba Walker... ok that’s better. And instead of Dell Curry they have a rookie who I’m really rooting for: Malik Monk.

They’re ok. They’re not super exciting but they have some star power. Hopefully this year the young guards can do some damage down the stretch and maybe be a sneaky team in the playoffs.

Fan-ability: B+

Chicago Bulls

You think Bulls, you think MJ, his Airness, the G.O.A.T.

For younger fans you think D.Rose being drafted by his hometown team and making them a force to be reckoned with in the East and dethroning the King with a 2010-2011 MVP award.

But it’s 2017 now. The face of the franchise is a blonde kid from Finland named Lauri Markkanen and the face of Nikola Mirotic was obliterated by fellow teammate Bobby Portis. Well maybe not obliterated, but I hear it was a heck of a knockout.

It really doesn’t matter how bad GM Gar Foreman and owner Jerry Reinsdorf have been, because what Michael Jordan did for the NBA he did for this NBA franchise as well. Fans crave for the second coming of Michael and until that day comes (I’m pretty sure it’ll never happen) the first thing you’ll think of when you see a red Bulls jersey is #23.

Fan-ability: A-

Cleveland Cavaliers

I’ve never been to Cleveland. I don’t think I’ll ever go there. Not really a bucket list destination.  But I have to admit, LeBron James made Cleveland relevant since the day he was drafted by his hometown team. He was the chosen one entering the league and did not disappoint. He carried a really weak team to an NBA Finals versus a really strong San Antonio Spurs team (and lost). Took his talents to South Beach making everybody in the league feel sorry for the Cavs. As soon as he ditched Miami to go back to “The Land” they were legit once more. LBJ is no MJ however. Some people seem to dislike his demeanor, question his clutch gene and doubt his leadership. He is a little whiny sometimes. Yet no one has denied that LeBron is still the best player on the planet and has been for the better part of his career. I mean it feel like its been 30 straight NBA Finals for him.  He’s great. He made Cleveland great. Even if he leaves this upcoming season, Cleveland should be forever grateful for everything King James has done. And because people enjoy experiencing greatness the Cavaliers are a fan favorite. (Me personally, not really a fan) Fan-ability: A

Dallas Mavericks

A lanky slow-ish blonde forward from Würzburg, Germany made the Dallas Mavericks NBA champions against, non other than, the chosen one (or as Skip Bayless likes to call him “the frozen one”). But aside from being lany, kinda slow and uh... blonde, Dirk Nowitzki is one of the top 20 greatest players of all time, one of my personal favorite players and proud owner of one of the sweetest fade away jumpers ever. 2010-2011 was the Mavericks championship season and man was it a well constructed team that no matter if you love or hate outspoken owner Mark Cuban, you gotta hand it to him. Combining veteran leaders like Jason Kidd and Jason Terry with defensive anchor Tyson Chandler and freaks of nature like Shawn Marion was the recipe for success under the brilliant mind of one of the most underrated coaches, Rick Carlisle. You felt glad they were champions. It wasn’t a “super team” but it was really really good and they were underdogs against a Miami team that promised not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, etc. championships. After the ‘chip they remained relevant until maybe last season. Dirk is rapidly aging and this really seems like it’s gonna be his last season. To be honest I’ve stopped watching Mavericks games because this is not the Dirk I want to remember. I do watch a lot of highlights though, mostly because of rookie Dennis Smith, Jr. Holy cow! That kid looks like he was made with the same stuff Russell Westbrook was made from. DSJr is another rookie I’m really rooting for, specially because he’s in great hands with old man Dirk to guide him and Rick Carlisle to coach him and get the best out of him. It’s a winning franchise in a hip warm weather city, with a wild celebrity owner, an iconic international player and champion, with a lot of young talent. Nuff said. Fan-ability: A-

Denver Nuggets

I think the Nuggets’ greatest moment in franchise history was the improbable win against the #1 seeded Sonics in 1994. Big whoop. There were other highlights in franchise history like drafing Melo (who later demanded a trade outta there). They did have Allen Iverson on their team, but then they traded him to Detroit because he wasn’t the 76ers Allen Iverson of old.    And this is the part where I want to talk about Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf. He was a muslim player (duh!) and was unbelievably good. But he was a muslim. Many compare his game to Steph Curry’s. But he was a muslim. He had crazy handles, the highest basketball IQ and one sweet jumpshot. But he was a muslim, and he started the whole Colin Kaepernick thing where he protested during anthems. Oh boy. Can you imagine a guy named Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf protesting in front of thousands of proud americans back in the 90′s? Yeah, that was the end of that. It’s really sad to wonder how good he would’ve been. At least Ice Cube gave him a shot in the BIG3. Anyway, back to the Denver Nuggets franchise comprised of young exciting talent but not a clear cut superstar. Nikola Jokic is really entertaining but is enough to make the Nuggets relevant? Millsap just joined them, but let’s face it he’s a really good boring player. Garry Harris was supposed to have a breakout year and it’s still early but he’s been a little too quiet for my taste. Jamal Murray, Emmanuel Mudiay seem a long way from being relevant and Kenneth Faried hasn’t been traded after 1,864,227 times it’s been rumored. The biggest indicator the Nuggets are in trouble is the fact that their own fans don’t show up as they finished last in attendance last season. Yikes! Fan-ability: F

Detroit Pistons

Personally I can’t really talk about the Bad Boy Pistons from the 80′s because I didn’t really get into the NBA until a little later. But from what I’ve heard and read, I really dig it. An uber-defensive team that wasn’t scared of anything or anyone. Hard nosed defenders, clutch shooting, trash talking and an iconic coach kinda sound like... hey! The 2004 champion Pistons! The comparison just goes to show that a culture within a franchise can go a long way.  The 2004 Pistons were tough, smart and had the winning mentality that I’m sure legendary coach Larry Brown implemented in the locker room. Big Ben was scary big even though he wasn’t as tall as your traditional center. ‘Sheed was a bad man with a sick jumper and a f*ck you attitude. Rip and Chauncey were the smart and offensively skilled guard combo. Okur, Tayshaun and McDyess played their roles just right. To this day I can’t believe they beat Kobe, Shaq and another “superteam”.  The Pistons of 2017 however lack some of that old school attitude. It’s well coached (shout out to Stan Van G) but no very well managed (sorry Stan Van G). Drummond is a huge piece of human who can block shots, dunk over anyone and has kind of improved the free throw issues of the past. Reggie Jackson seems to be a conflictive dude lacking the leadership of a Chauncey Billups. Tobias Harris who’s good but would’ve been better in a different era. Today’s NBA doesn’t really work for a guy like him. It’s not a roster you can nip and tuck and turn into a legitimate force in the NBA, to me it feels like it’s either this group of guys to maybe get past the first round of the playoffs or blow it all up and tank away to get younger and better. Can we send Avery Bradley to the Celtics, please?  Overall, it’s a city with a lot of heart and a franchise with a lot of history but right now who knows what they are? Fan-ability: B-

Golden State Warriors

My first memory of the Golden State Warriors is Chris Mullin’s hair and short shorts. Tim Hardaway’s crossovers. Latrell Sprewell’s angry two handed dunks (also angry head coach chokings) and an underachieving Chris Webber. But that’s all in the past. Even the good stuff like the Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson Warriors that made a lot of noise in the 2006 playoffs. That’s all irrelevant now because things changed in the bay area. Mark Jackson started coaching a young group of really promising guys and started a style of play that later Steve Kerr, who replaced him as head coach, perfected and made history. I don’t need to talk about how good Steph Curry is and how he revolutionized the game or how good of a shooter/defender/heat check guy Klay is. Or how Draymond is the new villain and best defender in the NBA or how Durant made this team virtually invincible... because everybody knows it. The only thing that worried me was if I would ever get bored of this team; short answer: NO. Again, people like greatness and the bar set by these basketball juggernauts is so high it’s become ridiculous. People call them “bandwagon fans” but it’s really just a matter of wanting to feel part of something as special as this group of future hall of famers... that and they’re totally bandwagon fans. Bandwagon fan-bility: A+

Houston Rockets

Probably not gonna be on the same page as a lot of people here but I’ve always found Rockets players kind of douchey. Maybe not the championship Rockets Olajuwon, Drexler, Horry or Cassell. More like Steve Francis, the worst version of Dwight Howard, and now James Harden AND Chris Paul. Yes, I said it. James Harden is a douchebag. He gets a lot of points, has become an elite point guard but his game isn’t really that exciting... and he’s a whiny flopper. 

They have a lot of history and a bunch of iconic players but ever since the championship years in the mid 90′s we haven’t gotten a dominant conference shifting team. Today’s roster is a poor man’s Golden State Warriors and they’ll eventually find out (the hard way) that in a 7 game series you won’t outshoot or outscore the Dubs. OK, I’ve really bashed the Rockets here, but don’t get me wrong I have to give credit where credit is due: James Harden is an MVP caliber player and Chris Paul is the point God but nobody likes ‘em. Fan-ability: C

Indiana Pacers

Back in the day the Pacers of Reggie Miller, Mark Jackson, Rik Smits, Derrick McKey and Antonio & Dale Davis were for real. They had shooting, rebounding, star power, coaching ...they had it all! It’s a shame that Michael Jordan and the Kobe/Shaq combo never let Reggie and the Pacers win a championship. A decade later the Pacers found themselves with a very strong group of talented players that made LeBron and the Heatles a little nervous. Paul George the emerging superstar along Lance Stephenson, Roy Hibbert and company were battling LeBron down to the last second but eventually falling short. Paul George broke his leg got better and basically told everyone in Indiana to go screw themselves because he would leave them for his hometown Lakers. Now he’s in OKC as a rental and Indiana has highly motivated Victor Oladipo (fan favorite in Indiana) Arvydas Sabonis’ son and what’s left of Lance Stephenson. They should be tanking this year but they’re not in large part because of phenom Myles Turner and a rejuvenated Thad Young. So, what are they? Good? Mediocre? Bad? At this point, we don’t really know.  It’s a small market team with no real superstar anymore and a lot of young talent that could either shine or implode. Fan-ability: D

L.A. Clippers

CP3 leaving means the Clippers are now terrible, right? Nope. Point Blake is for real, DeAndre looks like he’s having fun again and all the role players seem engaged. Oh! And this guy with the scruffy beard is their 30 year old rookie point guard who’s soooo fun to watch. What about the history of the franchise? Well, it’s no pretty. The Clippers were synonymous with failure for a long time. They were terrible at attracting free agents, terrible at drafting (i.e. Michael Olowakandi) until they put together what would become Lob City. It was fun but not very successful.  Los Angeles is sexy and cool but you don’t really think Clippers, you think Lakers, even when the Clippers have clearly been the better basketball team for the last 3 or 4 years now. With the Lakers making a comeback it’s becoming more obvious that the the Clippers should just move north and become the beloved Seattle Sonics.  Fan-ability: C+

L.A. Lakers

Showtime is back in L.A.! Not particularly because of their style of play but because of all the buzz the young players have caused and the circus surrounding Lonzo Ball, who in his first month playing in the NBA looks... different from what Lavar promised. It’s okay, nobody really expected Lonzo to be better than LeBron, Steph and God in his first games. The bottom line is Lonzo not bad and could become really good! Ingram is looking pretty good (just needs an extra 50 lbs) and I’m predicting he could become a Greek Freak type of superstar. But enough about the Baby Lakers, who we know are gonna be alright eventually, let’s talk about the incredibly successful franchise throughout the years. Ugh! Can’t believe I just said something nice about the Lakers. Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O’Neal and of course Kobe Bryant are one of the biggest names in the history of the league and they’re all Lakers (shout out to Nick Van Exel, one of my favorite players ever). I was blessed to witness the early 2000′s reign of Shaq and Kobe (even though I kept thinking what would’ve happened if Shaq stayed in Orlando) and their epic battles with the Spurs.  Let’s face it, the Lakers are the Yankees of basketball. People love the city of Los Angeles and they root for what the Lakers were and what they could eventually become once again. Fan-ability: A+

Memphis Grizzlies

They’ve come a long way from those Vancouver days when their best player was Bryant “Big Country” Reeves. They established a culture of hard work reminiscent of the city they play for. They created “Grit and Grind” and should be very proud of it. The history of the franchise is a little iffy since they were really bad for a really long time (normal for an expansion team in small markets).  Marc Gasol, Mike Conley, Tony Allen and Z-Bo put the league on notice and transformed a joke of a franchise to a legitimate contender. The roster has been almost completely revamped but Gasol and Conley are keeping the “Grit and Grind” very much alive. For how long? Only time will tell (hopefully as long as possible). Fan-ability: C+

Miami Heat

Fun fact: Did you know the Miami Heat won a championship without LeBron James? Yup!  Here’s another one for you: Did you know the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks hated each other and had a bunch of epic playoff battles back in the 90′s and early 2000′s? Hell yeah! My point is Miami has had a lot history before the LeBron and Heatles “superteam” nonsense. Pat Riley is largely responsible for all of it. And this post LeBron phase hasn’t been as terrible as you’d expect because this well oiled machine of a franchise keeps drafting, signing and getting all the right pieces to be contenders in a very weak Eastern Conference. They’re still a couple of moves away from being the top dogs so don’t be surprised if they make some moves during this season or once the season is over. The city of Miami is fun and sexy and so are the Heat fans. As long as Pat Riley is there they’re gonna be relevant and in the conversation. Fan-ability: B+

New Orleans Pelicans

As Tony Montana famously once said: “Manny, look at the pelican fly. Come on, pelican!” refering to some flamingos he was watching on TV. I kind of feel that way when I’m watching these guys play... I think I’m watching two of the best big men in the game along with some decent role players but I’m really just watching a franchise with no idea of what they’ll do when they inevitably lose both their big men (AD & Boogie) and return to being bad (worse). My second thing about this franchise: how are we supposed to root for a team called the Pelicans?! Wait... their arena is called the “Smoothie King Center”? OK, I’m done.

Weird to not root for a team that has 2 of the top 15 players in the league. Fan-ability: F 

New York Knicks

New York IS basketball. When you walk around this magnificent city you breathe basketball. Some of the best street ballers are New Yorkers. Yet, the Knicks haven’t been as great as Knicks fan expect them to be (not in the last 3 or 4 seasons anyway). Owner James Dolan is not exactly a fan favorite, Phil Jackson left without accomplishing what he was hired to accomplish, Charles Oakley has been banned from MSG (yes, the former Knicks legend) and the Melo-drama of last year(s) was quite frankly very annoying. So yeah, it’s been pretty brutal. It’s seems like a very long time because their last championship was in 1973 but there have been some really interesting, talented and semi-successful Knicks teams since Bernard King’s epic finals performance. One of the most sought after rookies landed in MSG and had a really good career (Patrick Ewing) and the aforementioned Charles Oakley along with John Starks, Anthony Mason and Doug Christie among others were talented, feisty, tough and relentless enough to reach the finals against a really loaded Rockets team. Then there’s Van Gundy’s squad with Ewing, Allan Houston, Latrell Sprewell, Larry Johnson and Marcus Camby who played the role of the underdog from day 1 until they reached the finals which they once again lost, this time against a dynastic Spurs. As of today the Knicks, minus Carmelo Anthony, have been quite surprising and own of the most precious assets in basketball: a unicorn. Kristaps Porzingis has won the heart of every single Knicks fan because of the dog in him, something very important to a city that values hard work. His stellar numbers and the potential of becoming a very unique type of player (hence the nickname “unicorn”) might be that x-factor that brings the championship back to the mecca. All they have to do is be patient, avoid the drama (hard to do with the New York media) and draft well... let’s hope Frankie Smokes is the perfect compliment to KP’s amazing talent. Oh, and please pray to the basketball gods... no injuries, please! Fan-ability: A-

Oklahoma City Thunder

You know what helps building a fan base when your not the coolest city in the world? Superstars! Oklahoma City has had some of the biggest names in the NBA play for them: Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, James Harden and Serge Ibaka. More unbelievable? They played together! Just goes to show what a great GM (Sam Presti) and great scouts will do to a franchise. Even with all these amazing atheletes on their team they really never got to win it all. KD and Russ were an unbelievable duo but many wondered if they didn’t really compliment eachother... maybe KD needed more of a playmaker, maybe Russ needed more of a role player and shine on his own. Well KD left to join the ridiculously talented Dubs (and won the title) and Russ won the MVP averaging a triple double.  Now they have even more star power adding hoodie Melo and Paul George to the mix and hoping this trio will knock down the reign of the all mighty Warriors (highly unlikely).  Superstars aside, OKC really has had an uphill battle developing a fan base in such a small market and have done so beautifully.  Fan-ability: B+

Orlando Magic

Whoa! This is hard for me. I’m probably gonna bash the franchise I first loved (and still do for some strange reason). My best memories as a kid are in Orlando when me and my whole family went to Disney World, Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, so I’m a little bias. Imagine a kid from Guatemala city going to a basketball game in a jam packed arena where Shaquille O’Neal and Penny Hardaway put on a show. Done deal! I’m a Magic fan for life.  Orlando somehow managed to lose Shaq by lowballing him in an almost  offensive way comparing him to other players in the league and criticizing his rebounding and defense in an attempt to “negotiate” a deal that wouldn’t mean breaking the bank for Shaq. But guess what? For Shaq, you DO break the bank and by not doing so they broke the heart of every Orlando Magic fan. So Shaq left and it took a long time to recover. 13 years later Dwight Howard somehow managed to go to an NBA Finals with a very weird and well coached Magic team that seemed content to just get there, and let’s face it, didn’t really have a shot against the Lakers.  Then, Rob Hennigan happened. Bad draft picks, horrible free agent signings and head scratching trades were the norm under this guy. Even though he’s still no longer with the team the stench of his horrible decisions still linger over the very bizarre roster today’s Magic have assembled. Granted the beginning of this season has been a very pleasant surprise many people feel it’s just a phase in which a lot of “bad teams” started hot and will eventually fall back down to earth. I’m just trying to believe they might snatch the East’s 8th spot and finally be back in the playoff picture, but... why? Shouldn’t they just tank and hope to get ANOTHER draft pick? Who knows? All I know is Aaron Gordon is finally playing some decent basketball and I have really high expectations from rookie Jonathan Isaac and might eventually become a steal in the draft.  Fan-ability: D

Philadelphia 76ers

Oh God! The Process. The day they win a championship I’ll tolerate the Process. I feel awful for the Philly fans that had to endure such a long run of shameless, utter failure while being the laughing stock of the whole league. Having the commissioner actually getting involved in the team’s plan to continue sucking has got to be embarrassing. But 76ers fans have shown they always trusted the process and are now celebrating as if Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons are the next best thing since sliced bread, but I have to remind every Sixer fan once in a while that they drafted Michael Carter-Williams and traded him for nothing, Nerlens Noel and traded him for nothing and Jahlil Okafor, who’ll be traded for nothing... so let’s not get too excited just yet. We still have to find out what Markelle Fultz becomes. The level of incompetence they endured for so long actually made us all root for them making them the most lovable underdog in history and thus captivating a new fan base of people rooting for the eternal losers to finally get a break. They used to be good though. Real good. Mostly because they had Allen Iverson, the best pound for pound player ever. Those A.I. teams were surrounded by a bunch of scrubs, role players and stiffs that watched “The Answer” in awe as he dismantled every opponent they faced. The team had a superstar and a lot of heart that would eventually take the finals against another almost invincible Lakers team, that for a second, crapped their pants when Allen Iverson tore them apart in Game 1. Eventually L.A. won 4 straight and the series was over. Philadelphia was praised for valiantly battling a star studded team with a minuscule scorer along with a bunch of unknowns (so yeah, they’ve always been the lovable underdogs). In a very “Rocky” way, Philadelphia always seems to be forced against the ropes and fighting back the best way they can.  Fan-ability: B

Phoenix Suns

It’s hard to imagine a time where the Phoenix Suns were a great Western Conference team. They were. My first memories of good Suns teams was the Barkley, KJ and Majerle led team. Then there’s the Nash-Stoudemire era where the battles against their Western Conference nemesis were pretty epic. It’s seems like its been forever since the glory days for the Suns. They had a nice little run not long ago with a trio of guards that are really good (Eric Bledsoe, Goran Dragic and Isaiah Thomas) but seemed like they handled it very poorly only ending the very brief run with some questionable GM decisions. Overall the Suns are franchise that hasn’t really clicked and found a clear path to becoming a fun team to watch. The Suns are very young and do have a great-to-be shooting guard in Devin Booker, but they’re probably 4 years from being competitive again and some young players like Bender, Marquese Chriss and Josh Jackson have to prove their worth in the next upcoming seasons. Trading Bledsoe seems like it could be a fresh start and open up some very important playing time for the younger talent. So brace yourselves, it’s not gonna be pretty. Fan-ability: C-

Portland Trailblazers

Hispters rejoice! There’s no doubt that rooting for the Blazers is the cool thing to do since nobody really trusts their backcourt defense, bench or bother to give Dame Dolla (a.k.a. Damien Lillard) an All-Star nod.  CJ McCollum and Damien Lillard think they’re the best backcourt in the NBA and it’s a legitimate claim since they score at will against any and every defender. When it comes to clutch shooting... you know it’s Dame Time! I personally find the Blazers a really fun team to watch and when you think about it, it’s been the case for a very long time. Awesome Blazer players throughout the years: Clifford Robinson (headband included), Jerome Kersey, Rod Strickland, Arvydas Sabonis, Rasheed Wallace, Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge are just some of the names that made this cool-ass city much much cooler. They’ve been relevant but haven’t really won a championship but at least they’ve been to one. Even if they’ve lost more than they’ve won they are definitly a cool team. Fan-ability: B+

Sacramento Kings

Before owner Vivek Ranadivé thought Nik Stauskas was the next best thing, before they drafted every single big while having arguably the best center in the league in Boogie Cousins and confusing everybody with every single poor decision the Kings were exciting.

Can it be argued that Jason “White Chocolate” Williams was the most entertaining point guard of the last 25 years? I certainly think so. He put the Kings on the map along with a very productive Chris Webber, the shooter extraordinaire of Peja Stojakovic and a bunch of really good role players. They kind of underachieved but looking back on that team, they might have been a little too young and flashy. The only time they made the NBA Finals was unfortunately in the movie “How to lose a guy in 10 days”. They lost those fake finals to the Knicks, how about that?

They might be making a comeback, though. The fun team they used to be could once again excite us basketball fans with rookie phenom De'Aaron Fox, second year shooting guard Buddy Hield, big man Willy Cauley-Stein and the rest of the young core. After all the DeMarcus Cousins drama they dealt with I sincerely hope they find their way with this young squad and make the Kings games a must watch. Fan-ability: C

San Antonio Spurs

You know how some organizations are so good they become kind of annoying and after a while they stop being annoying again because you’re in awe of how well they do everything? That’s the San Antonio Spurs.

Only the Spurs can reach the playoffs a record setting 20 consecutive years (also the longest active playoff streak in any major North American sports league as of 2017) and keep drafting really good under the radar rookies, who eventually turn out to be really good. You can’t talk about the Spurs without talking about Tim Duncan or Gregg Popovich, and even though there have been a lot of other amazing Spurs players (David Robinson, Manu, Tony Parker, Sean Elliott, now Kawhi, etc.) it’s Pop and Timmy’s dynasty. And is it just me or was Gregg Popovich really unlikable back when we didn’t really know him? He seemed like a real a**hole but now people want him to be the next President.

They are an iconic dynasty that will be a trademark of greatness for years and years to come. Watching Timmy retire was hard, I can’t imagine what’ll be like when Pop calls it quits.

Fan-ability: A+

Toronto Raptors

All Star Weekends aren’t really important. I was always a fan of these long, flashy, ceremonious events, but not really. It’s like it’s supposed to happen and it’s kinda like the mid-season awards in a way but it’s definitely not a big deal. In the year 2000 (shout out to Conan) though, it mattered, mainly because of the Canada’s basketball ambassador unbelievable display of amazingness and athletic dunk display that became, and still is, the single best dunk contest in the history basketball. Vince Carter was “Air Canada” but eventually it became a messy divorce with the franchise and once again became a sub par team. Nowadays they a decent top 3 team in the Leastern Conference, but I don’t expect them to go further than the second round of the playoffs, even though Masai Ujiri managed to assemble a nice roster that inlcudes the Big Medium 3 of: Lowry, DeRozan and Ibaka. The Raptors have always been ok and cool to root for (they are the only non U.S. team in the league, and that might be a plus) and the list of iconic players is actually pretty decent: Vince, T-Mac, Damon “Mighty Mouse” Stoudamire, Marcus Camby and Skip to my Lou (Rafer Alston). The most notable Raptors fan nowadays is Toronto’s rapper Drake (see also: Nav Bhatia) which really boosts popularity for the franchise, even when we know LeBron will have his way with the Raps come playoff time. Fan-ability: B+

Utah Jazz

Ok, first things first... let me just say that the biggest oxymoron is this franchise’s name. Has there ever been actual jazz played in the Mormon state? (shout out to Trey Parker and Matt Stone for the hilarious “Book of Mormon” musical) Now that I got that out of the way, let’s go ahead and analyze the franchise. They’ve been a really well coached team for the most part (Jerry Sloan and now Quin Snyder) and even when they’re lacking star power they seem to be that team you don’t want to face. They’re really good at drafting and developing young talent and that translates into really feisty hard working potential all-stars... that eventually leave via free agency, probably because Utah isn’t the sexiest place in the world. Deron Williams was on his way of becoming the best point guard in the league and almost overnight became an expendable bench player. Gordon Hayward was the big white hope but opted to join forces with his former Butler head coach in Boston and got injured 5 minutes into his Celtic debut... wait is this a “Leave Utah curse” theory? Nah. Hayward will be alright... I hope. The 90′s and 2000′s were different though, Utah was a star studded franchise always representing the west come playoff time mainly because of the one the best duos of all time: Karl Malone and John Stockton. Although they never got to win the championship they’ll always be remembered as a legit force in the league. As for now, let’s just hope Rudy Gobert keeps developing into the best dang Center in the league... he certainly has the potential. Rodney Hood (awesome name by the way) needs to become an offensive force and most importantly be consistent. Dante Exum sadly, hasn’t really lived up to the hype and I believe has reached his ceiling. They are what all Jazz teams are, gritty and tough. Fan-ability: C+

Washington Wizards

DC’s team is and has always been a conundrum. Wizards teams have been pretty good on paper but none of them, including a Michael Jordan led team, could really make them relevant (granted MJ was getting pretty old and wasn’t in the best shape). It seems the current team is the best the franchise has had in a long time, yet they’re not close to being a Conference favorite. Do the Wizards have big names? Yup, John Wall is in the prime of a stellar career. Bradley Beal has proven he can stay healthy and stay productive. Otto Porter got paid All-Star money and should become one for this team to really go further. Are they well coached? Debatable, but I believe Scott Brooks is a huge improvement over several of the last coaches in Washington. Now the big question is can they actually dethrone Cleveland? The other big question is whether this roster is built for the future like Boston is. Sadly, my answer for both these questions is no. They had their share of bad draft picks (Kwame Brown most notably), players gone bad (Gilbert Arenas, Juwan Howard) iconic players that never really transcended or carried the franchise (MJ, Chris Webber), but the bottom line is they’re a cool franchise to root for (used to be cooler when they were the “Bullets”) in a cool city. Hopefully one day they’ll become a legitimate championship contending team. Maybe if they figure out how to get Boogie Cousins that’ll happend sooner rather than later. Fan-ability: B-