#i just defend it bc i'm sick of ppl's ignorance

[t4tpumpkinduo]

i'll keep this brief cuz i've been discourse posting enough lately but. idk i'm supah sick of seeing ppl say that the suicide ending for cq is actually secretly good and justified bcs. erm. well, there's many things to unpack abt that. (the acting like it's well written in the first place/anywhere close to justifying itself in the narrative, like having a bleak retcon finale suicide to an extremely beaten down character that lost over and over for years and years doesn't spit in the face of other arcs, other characters, the viewers, ETC.)

but the thing i'll focus on right now is the idea tht cq is smhow uniquely irredeemable to the ppl around him and that's why he deserves this fate, like he's not on the everyone is a mean ass serial killer server. and again, he's v much not the nicest, he's mean too, he's also a serial killer, he's presumptuous and more than willing to be ruthless and cruel he's a conman he's a cheater he's a manipulator and many such things. but you can't really ignore the cores of things? why he does them why he was pushed to them in the first place, how they're treated in the narrative, how he's considerably behind other characters in bad actions who get to walk away scott free, and the fact he drops a lot of those actions bcs he's too busy caring abt the ppl around him fake ass idgafer

if anything the worst thing he does is probably the torture 😭 and under more normal circumstances that would surely be a deal breaker for many. but the target and reasoning are too unignorable! there's a reason tht multiple characters know he did it and do not give a single solitary fuck. csapnap knew and he still cared abt cq. cfoolish was told by cdrm directly in a convo where he asked foolish to Sell Q Out to him and foolish still said no and Didn't Care. sam knows and still loves him (that's his son.) ctommy DEDUCED it by ACCIDENT and then later got it confirmed by cdrm to his face and both times he didn't give a shit and actively smiled abt it. i can't imagine why would a kid who rarely got the harm cdrm did to him taken seriously, who got to watch this nutjob abuser who tortured HIM walk away w little consequences, who got to watch ppl who were supposed to protect him instead actively defend cdrm, would not feel upset that the dude who has consistently been in his corner continues to be there 😭 i wonder why he feels validated instead of angry. can't imagine why.

like idk the idea tht ohh character who did bad stuff bcs of horrible circumstances that you actively regret and don't do anymore. yk the ppl around you who still care abt you and wanna support you? that's not true lol kill yourself to make up for it you're too far gone to ever matter to anything or anyone or even be seen as a person. like forgive me for thinking thts not a great message. for a character who's arc was never about that in the first place. but what do i know i just watched and engaged w the streams

[rosegoldenatlas]

its sleep time!

good news:

today marks exactly 1 year since i came out!

(ALMOST) everybody used my correct name and pronouns the whole day

thats about it

bad news:

my mother deadnamed me and misgendered me the whole day (and was the only person to do so)

afterwards she went on her usual spiel about how "horribly hard it is for her and dificult to use my proper name" and how "its something so difficult that everybody in the family is struggling with immensly!" (no it isnt) (literaly everybody else got it right the whole time) (including my 90 year old grandma with memory loss) (also everybody else found out about my prefered name TODAY and instantly started using it and actualy thanked me for telling them) (my mother is the only one who knew about my name before)

also thanksgiving so i ate too much and am now hating myself for it

ended up going on a slight cutting spree on my shoulder (it was kinda funny because i didnt check how much gauze we had before hand and it turned out we were OUT and i had to scramble to make a makeshift bandage) (dont worry the final result was very hygenic and nothing to worry about, i dont fuck around with first aid) (i dont even know why. i dont care about my life i just NEED to do it right) (although it was unfortunant because i was in such a frenzy when i was cutting myself that all the cuts were really surface level and barely enough to draw blood, and nowhere near as deep as i deserve) (im usualy much better at hurting myself this just passively stings if i had done it right it would be SO MUCH more painful)

anyways that was my day hope yours wasnt too bad?

goin to sleep

hope you have a good night

stay awesome

oooh GOOD NEWS YAY

• Oh wow you're doing better than me! I am genuinely scared to tell my family except my brother and older sister BC they've also got some genderfuckery going on.

• YOOOOO THATS SICK I'm happy 4 u

Bad news is longer.. nooooo.

• what a bitch. Honestly. But hay at least it was just her she's the outlier in this situation.

• write it on your arm in sharpie and wave it aggressively in her face whenever she misgenders u. Or even better if your willing to risk her wrath, misgender her back. Call her a he. Call her their birth name but slightly to the left (so if her name is like Becky call her Bucky). And if she tries to correct you about the name just say that's how you remember learning it and that its hard to change it up after so long. And for the misuse of pronouns just ignore all complaints about them by changing the subject r smthn.

And hey wait why isnt the stuff in parentheses in the good news section!!!??? This is an outrage.

• the point of thanksgiving is to hate yourself afterwards I think. I dunno I don't eat at all really during thanksgiving BC all of the foods are things I really don't like- some to the point of throwing it up later. And we have thanksgiving leftovers for a few nights afterwards so I just have to sneak snacks or I don't eat (we can only eat leftovers until all the thanksgiving food is gone or else its a waste)

• fuckkk girliepop, Red, rule 2 of cutting is always having the stuff to clean up near you o you're gonna do it. (Rule 1 is getting a support system and talking to ppl u trust about it, which you're doing wonderfully.) At least the cuts were shallow and you may think 'but Atlas! That's bad. Now they don't hurt as much' and I say good if they get too deep you might get nerve damage and then it won't hurt at all and it would make everything worse trust me. 'But Atlas! I deserve pain and semi to fully permanent nerve damage!! I'm a bad person! :((' and to that I say where is your proof? Where is the proof of these alleged bad things because right now I haven't seen any and you are not the judge in this court of law you are both the prosecuted and the defendant. Both of whom have shown no evidence to the jury.

Wow that was a weird analogy but it works

My day yesterday was.. Ehh.

GOOD STUFF

• was able to sneak off before the political argument happened

• a YouTuber I like posted a video after a year of silence

• I wrote three paragraphs of fanfiction!!

• was able to sneak some soda my cousin brought when my mom wasnt looking (im not allowed soda)

BAD STUFF

• Didn't eat a lot cause of stuff already said

• had to misgender my bother and sister in front of family (all of us are out to everyone but the family)

• was having a masc day and got misgendered all day but eh comes with being gender fluid ig lol.

• nearly threw up the food I did eat bc its food I have a hard time eating, not a pleasant sensation I'll tell you.

• had to deep clean the entire house twice (abt 6 hrs of work total, once before everyone arrived (4hrs) and once after (2hrs) I can be lazier after BC my mom is drunk

• mom was being a clingy drunk and hugged me and I want to rip off my skin and clean the meat under it with bleach and vinegar before getting new skin.

That's all!!! It was pretty much a normal day in terms of bad stuff except the eating thing which is only sometimes but now its a lot more intense. In terms of good day it was more than usual!!! Yes!!!

Hope you slept well.

Love you Queen!

[wc-confessions]

it makes me sick knowing that this person will NEVER take accountability for their racist actions and even sicker that so many people are rushing to defend them. makes me realize that we'll never truly be listened to or respected because we can't even have one conversation without white people exerting their white privilege over us in order to effectively silence us.

idk like it's all so exhausting and there's just no point trying to educate ppl to want who remain ignorant. people saw the doc as trying to cancel marinin hating white skinned people etc and are refusing to understand the real issue which is that this person knows their privilege and belittles poc. like yeah their brazilian but that doesn't. erase the fact that this person has done offensive things. and it def doesn't erase the fact that guess what racism and colourism exists everywhere shocking. and this isn't the first time either. i don't want to keep talking abt it bc ik nothing will be done if you aren't fitting their ideals you don't mean shit to them. idk if marinin means to do these things but idk it looks bad that Everytime someone addresses something they did they always mention they are brazilian as if. ppl are supposed to go 'oh sorry ur good then'. i understand they wanna keep their place but there's nothing wrong with at least trying to understand you're at fault sometimes and working to do better.

this is all just sick seeing the way ppl respond to bipoc speaking up in the fandom. I'm seeing people try to tie this with racism against whites and it's like. ??you are the exact reason why racism will always remain rampant and why poc will always isolate themselves from you.

[margokesses]

Also I feel like there’s two levels to the drama and ppl are mainly focusing on the OFMD VS BS thing and ignoring part of what caused that dumbass rant:

People rightfully brought up that OFMD was really weird for woobifying actual slave owners and instead of addressing that separately, the poll owner somehow thought it’d be smart and not at all weird asf to just..combine the two into one issue and speak on black issues including police brutality in order to defend OFMD.

They genuinely made the point that ‘we need to stick together cause conservatives hate all of us’ and that ‘being mad about OFMD was not going to solve police brutality’ (paraphrased heavily but I think the post is still up so u can read it if u want to) and (this next part is just how I FELT) and was extremely condescending towards black ppl. It felt like they were trying to hold our hands through activism and kept trying to reiterate that community was important whilst telling us to put racism in the backburner because at least they’re gay. I hate to keep repeating myself but it was really really weird and it speaks volumes that their idea of unity is us ignoring systemic oppression bc said oppression is filtered through a gay lens.

Hello?? Why would they even say that??? God I'm so sick of the yt gays

[sanstropfremir]

I feel like so many kpop fans disregard the work of the ppl behind the scenes while also blaming them for anything that they see as a hindrance to their groups and its so sick like smthn smthn no man is an island and bts's inability to find consistent collaborators was such a huge roadblock in creating a creative identity that evolves with them as artists. like!! I'm pretty sure pixy have worked with the same producers since debut and!!! what do u know!!! they have distinct artistic identity!! loona is a good example too bc they regularly worked w monotree from pre debut to butterfly and since they stopped working w monotree their sound has completely shifted + they were also pretty consistently working with digipedi for mvs and just from the TEASER for their newest comeback u can tell they switched. also I find it rly funny how many ppl were defending their last few releases when one of the members said he hated boy with luv??? like??? u think they like permission to dance???

yep yep yep!!! tons of idols work with the same creative teams; beat int has had the same stylist on payroll since a.c.e's debut, she's done all of their comebacks and now she's doing forestella's too! and sm also has a couple of resident stylists, including wook/punkyspider who has done all the senior sm artists cbs in the last three years at least. every person in a creative team has their own signatures and brings their own opinions to the table and that is so important to collaborative work. it's what gives the work depth, what makes it feel alive. aesthetics are so important to performance and they help shape everything about it, from how the work is conceptualized to how it is received by an audience. to actively ignore and not invest in that aspect is naive and shortsighted, especially when you are in an explicitly performance based industry. part of the reason why i started talking about kpop design here is because pretty much no one else is doing it, and talking about it is just as important as talking about dance or about the vocals. everything comes together to create the performance!!! you can't talk about one thing without taking into account the others!!!

[touyaz]

Hello!

For the ask game: #5 with Gojou, Naoya and Toji!!!!

- @ame-791

5. go on a six hour road trip with (no car radio, you choose who drives), sit next to on a six hour plane flight, sit across from on a six hour train journey

Omg for the road trip, I think I'm the bigger issue bc I get carsick on long journeys so I always just go to sleep which is probably boring if we're alone agdhjs I think maybe touji would like that the most out of these three, like we'd talk for a bit, I'd give him food if he's feeling hungry, but for the most part, it'll be time for him to just unwind and not have to think/ do much other than focus on the open road ahead. I think he'd be the most appreciative/ enjoy that sort of calm moment <3 also just imagine how sexy he'd look w one hand on the wheel, the other on ur thigh, window down so a lil breeze runs thru his hair...... A dream 🥰

Plane flight w gojou definitely for that first class experience 🤩🥰😋🥳 I'll plug in my headphones and ignore him the whole time <3 jk bc he'd def pull them out my ears so he can yap :/ it would be fun playing those multi-player games like battleship w him lmao (he screenwatches like a loser ☹️) & he'd probably sweet talk the staff into getting extra food agdjsk would let me fall asleep on my shoulder but also takes pics of me like a creep so it's a struggle 😞 kicks the seat in front of him then blames me knowing I don't have the social skills to defend myself 😐 makes funny faces at the babies on the plane then looks away if they start crying 💀 CLAPS WHEN THE PLANE LANDS ☠️👹

Train journey w naoya fs. He hogs an entire compartment and gives ppl dirty looks if they even so much as think abt sitting w us lmaoo 💀💀 he'd be so much quieter than normal on the journey, probably really enjoys playing games too. Like when I pull out sudoku on my phone he'll move next to me and start helping me out (gets tired of me double checking everything he says & takes my phone from me to do it 😐 starts playing w/o me bruh 💔) I also think he'd really like people-watching, like yk when u look at someone and start making up their backstory, etc. He's so good, he comes up w the wildest things that actually make sense. I can imagine he gets sick/ sleepy on long journeys too, and he has those sucking sweets to make him feel a lil better, but eventually he'll doze off on my shoulder :( sweet angel baby who can do no wrong ily :( 💗💗

Ask game

[ballplayersxo]

sorry this is loooooooong BUT i was *waiting* for the rachel nichols shit to hit the fan. just ULTIMATE "pick me" energy!!!! DISCLAIMER: i JUST woke l up. i'm 3 hours behind here in LA. i heard the audio, not surprised. but have been ignoring espn in the past few months bc of ppl like her, so i don't know her full stance of chauncey/kidd. but i'll assume it's terrible bc she's rachel nichols. ok SO: she enjoys closeness to these male athletes and what they can do for her image, but says the most surface-level nonsense when it's time to do the serious part of her job. never pushes back if they do even the vile shit. she can't even do the easy part: acknowledging that there's more players in the league she besides the most famous superstars she likes being friends with. or announcing which wnba games are on that night and then complaining that no one talks about the women in basketball. ON HER HOUR-LONG BASKETBALL SHOW. she only talks about the women's league when talking about the lack of coverage, pay disparities, disrespect from media, how more exposure would lead to more money and stability for the league and it's like BITCH???? aren't you in the media?? at espn?? on an unnecessarily long professional basketball show?? i stupidly watched "the jump" all last season waiting for crumbs, and nothing. to make matters worse, the people she placed below her are malika andrews, the BEST basketball interviewer at espn. so respected by players and coaches etc bc of her investment in storytelling. monica mcnutt, who can make any topic interesting, has instant chemistry with anyone she is on screen with, and is just born to lead and host and funny as hell. chiney ogwumike, she's like a living computer and knows every play, every stat, every possible minuscule detail, and has energy for days and carries her own espn radio show. they're all small contributors at most, while KENDRICK PERKINS and matt barnes and paul pierce and richard jefferson and vince carter constantly get/got way more airtime over them. and when rachel would be out, she'd have some random white guy idek his name, fill in. when chiney was in the same city, same building, in her own off-season. and that's only *three* of the *many* black women who can do that job infinitely better! rachel is just a such a hypocrite. like.... chiney's radio co-host is another white dude but is constantly giving her her flowers and defending women who have been victims of abuse from athletes. never plays devil's advocate and instead argues that the nba and other leagues need to hold men accountable no matter who they are and that no, settling out of court does NOT equal innocence and that these people have legal teams designed to ruin lives. same radio show, mind you, that also discusses things like: "is breakfast for dinner overrated?" and "which donut chain is better?" so what is rachel's excuse???? LONG STORY SHORT: rachel nichols is a pick-me who doesn't give a shit about the people she steps on, especially victims and hyper-qualified black women, to stay above everyone. she got too comfortable and needs to be held accountable in a meaningful way. again sorry this is so long!!!! doing this 3 espressos deep is.... not it

don’t apologize cause i needed someone to read her since idk enough about her but this all makes sense! how are you a woman laughing at a man talking about being tired of the metoo movement basically? is this who we are? that’s why i’m saying white feminism is literally a disease because half the shit they preach about, they aren’t living. you seemingly pro-women but when a black women gets certain jobs over you, suddenly they aren’t qualified? it sounds like she’s essentially against affirmative action (which doesn’t even apply here but still) when i swear white women benefit the most from it. she’s just so nasty & sick. that’s how a lot of white women are. fake or hyper woke to either piss off white men, or to somehow use it as a prop to one day get the same power they do. the only thing keeping white women from being oppressors to the same extent of white men is their gender and it makes them SICK, this is why behaviour like rachel’s doesn’t shock me anymore. i really hope espn does something meaningful with this situation but i doubt it tbh

[professorjjong]

I was reading another blog and ONCE AGAIN there was the typical anon saying that jjong can't be gay "bc he dated several women". Where the hell do they get the "several" part when he's only dated ONE woman publicly? Also you can date women and also being attracted to men? Plus closeted people exist in the entertainment industry? i'm sick of people "defending" jjongs heterosexuality as if the mere mention of him being anything but straight was a terrible offense.

honestly? yes. a thousand times yes. we’re at this point where the fans who are insisting that he’s straight are basically just ignoring him? their excuses are flimsy and just plain old false (u can’t pretend that gay men never have relationships with women. that’s the entire premise of the grace & kelly tv show, plus kurt in glee had a brief crush on rachel, and i’ve personally heard stories of similar things happening through ppl around me). 

we just need to continue to be vocal about it--to continue theorizing about him. it doesn’t harm anyone, but only helps others potentially realize things about themselves or be more understanding toward ppl in their lives. even though it’s so fucking annoying that the excuses of straight cis-het fans is just a fucking broken record, so we sound like a broken record too, combatting the same flawed argument over and over and over...