#i just caved and bought one a few days ago because i realized how cheap they are

[atariaaren]

sorry about art posts being slow- i got a drawing tablet recently and since im not used to doing art with tablets im hesitant to post any of my art with it as i practice more ;;

expect some doodles once i feel comfortable enough with it though 👍

[panda-paco]

Cancun and Furnal Equinox: The whole adventure!

Seriously do you want to read all my adventures that happened to me the past two weeks? It is a lot, so here is an index of events in case you want to skip something that doesn't seem so interesting for you: CANCUN - The airport - The hotel and the Cancun's bar area - Chichen Itza and Ik Kil - Beach and Kayaking Day - Viernes Furry Podcast ROADTRIP IN MEXICO - Trip to Chetumal - Trip to Coatzacoalcos - Trip to Mexico City - Mexico City FURNAL EQUINOX - Snowy day in Toronto - Artists Alley - Fursuit Games, Fursuit Festival and Toronto walking - Cutthroat Artist - The end of the adventure.

CANCUN

The airport

All this trip was a plan that came up very unexpectedly, a few weeks before I didn't know that I would go on a trip to Cancun, and even less than it would be with Fox Amoore, Majira, Kurtt, Dixie and Ed Puma. That unexpected is life with me, obviously I can't complain, it has been great. I LOVE IT!

Fortunately the flight went very cheap, I didn't pay more than 1,000 pesos (less than 50 dollars), a direct flight from Guadalajara to Cancun. And it was also fortunate that I arrived at almost the same time as the guys who came from the United States, but at another terminal. I arrived in terminal 1, they in terminal 3, and there was no way to go from one terminal to another, maybe they think "Who wants to travel from terminal to terminal in this airport if people only come for vacations?" so with baggage and backpacks, I had to walk to Terminal 3 to wait for them.

I must say that I was very nervous, not long ago I had started talking to Majira, and had spoken ver few with Fox Amoore, I didn't know Dixie, and suddenly knowing that I was going to spend a whole vacation with all of them, I felt I was not going to have much to contribute and I could feel intimidated since they know each other much more than I knew them. They are already like a family, I am just someone else, who is known in the fandom for drawing cute and such, but in reality I don't feel that I'm someone as interesting as them, I almost don't speak, I am very nervous and quite shy.

When waiting for them for a long time at the exit of terminal 3, there was a lot of confusion, because they thought that they were already outside the terminal and that I should go to where they were, that it was a place full of restaurants and bars, but I didn't have access to that area, it was still a place inside the airport arrivals. While I was waiting for them, a taxi driver, astutely, made an ephemeral friendship with me so that he could take me to the hotel as soon as my friends arrived; At the end it was good because it really gave me a price much cheaper than the one originally charged to me by other taxis. He told me that it was not as hot those days as it had before, he mentioned that when he saw me that I was sweating a lot, but believe me it was more from nerves than from the heat. In the end they knew where I was, and they were already escorting by another taxi driver who was willing to charge them much more than even the normal fare. What a pity that in Cancun there is no Uber, because all taxi drivers were charging us dearly. However, we went with that guy who had already talked to me several minutes before. I made them save 180 pesos, which for Mexicans is a lot, I don't know if 9 dollars for them is a lot of difference but for us it's like several days of food XD hehe. While we were on our way to the hotel, I still felt very nervous, as someone very inferior to them, I was more intimidated than they spoke in English, something that I didn't have a hard time getting used to, my English is not perfect but we can have a very good comunication. What I liked is that they quickly made me feel integrated into the group, with hugs, selfies, and very casual conversations. I realized at that moment that nothing would go wrong.

The hotel and the Cancun's bar area.

When we arrived at the hotel we met Ed Puma, who had already checked in the room several hours before. We went out to walk on the streets. It was evening and we went to the bar area.

This was the fourth time I went to Cancun, I love to go even though it is one of the most expensive places in Mexico, the beach is so beautiful that you never get tired of being there. However many foreigners see Cancun as the place for spring breakers and crazy parties without ceasing; for me that was not Cancun, for me Cancun was a place of relaxation and swimming on a very clean and beautiful beach. So I had never even stepped on that area of ​​bars, which each was more bizarre and stunning than the other. It is a place like anything but Mexico:

All speaking in English, with prices in dollars, they charged tickets for entering any of those bars, the only ones that seemed to be in that area were American people.

I must say in advance that it was the only bad experience I had during the whole adventure, the only one I didn't enjoy even a little, what a pity it was of the first things that happened, because it made me think that it would not be a good start. But all the rest of the adventures on this journal were positive, this is the only one that I'll tell which was negative: We go to a bar, I must give the name of the place, to recommend avoiding it if possible: "Señor Frogs". Where I paid the most expensive beer I've paid in Mexico. I have paid more expensive beers in other countries, and I haven't complained, but in Mexico, not even in a concert I have been able to pay that amount, they definitely take advantage of the fact that foreigners don't get so stratospheric prices, so these places are thought only for them. And something that made me confirm that fact was a terrible experience I had with one of the local waitresses: She put in front of me a bottle of ... I do not know what it was, I completely ignore the drink, and she just yelled to me "SHOT", I really didn't know what she meant by that, if it was like a challenge from part of the place , or what was going on. I told her in Spanish, asking questions about that act, that if she was inviting me to challange that I could have a shot of that drink (even didn't know if it has to be directly to the bottle or if she had one of those little glasses) or if there was a price for that challenge to which she wanted to instruct me. Yes, if I had it, it costed me, and it was not cheap, and even though she understood perfectly what I asked her in spanish, she continued speaking to me in English, she asked me where I was from, when I told her my home town, she saw me with the worst possible face , almost like disgusting, and she said "What the heck are you doing in this place?" In short, I was being discriminated in my own country for being in a place that ideally is only for people who are not Mexican. That's horrible! Actually I didn't mention anything to our guests about this fact because I didn't want to leave them with a bad first impression of my country. I preferred that they didn't know that happened; if any of them for some reason is reading this long journal: yes, it happened, an apology for not telling you, I think the right thing would have been to leave that place immediately. I appreciate that nobody left tips, haha. On the way back to the hotel, while they wanted to take pictures with each of the funny sculptures that were on the street, a man offered to take the picture for us, he was a tour salesman, and of course he took advantage to offer some tour prices to us. It was where they learned that we had to ignore those people and just go indifferent, saying no. Well, they didn't do it with this man, they listened to him, and he wanted to sell us some tours, very similar to the same plan we were already willing to do on our own, but he wanted to sell that for only 99 dollars, Dixie thought for a moment that in reality It was a good offer for only 6 people to pay that. Oh, but no, the offer was BY PERSON! Dixie couldn't help but laughing in front of her face and leaving at that moment. Since we were back to the hotel, Kurtt arrived. We went out to buy food at Oxxo, a very popular self-service store in Mexico, very similar to a 7 eleven. Majira bought a gallon of purified water, which lasted him absolutely the rest of the trip to Mexico City.

Chichen Itza and Ik Kil

The next morning we left in a van that we rented to Yucatan. We stopped for breakfast at a cochinita pibil taqueria, which were quite delicious and very cheap.

Upon arriving at the archaeological site of Chichen Itza, I could see how amazed they were to see the main pyramid: the castle of Kukulcán, which is the first to be seen when arriving at the place. There we took several pictures and then we walked to the big ball game, a few moments later it started to rain.

We continue walking until we reach the sacred cenote, where we had to see a very beautiful iguana.

We missed a lot of the site, because unfortunately we arrived a little late, and they also wanted us to spend the same day at the Ik Kil cenote. Those who don't know what a cenote is, are natural formations from underground rivers, which regularly flow into caves. And in some you can swim. I recommend looking in Google images: "Cenote" to give an idea of ​​how they look, they are beautiful. The sacred cenote of Chichen Itza is not apt for one to swim, however the one of Ik Kil does. And that's what we went to! The use of life vests was completely optional, and the only one that rented one was Majira. Warned that swimming in a cenote was a freezing experience (its waters are very cold), they agreed that we should dive in from a very high platform of around 8 meters. The cenote had a depth of 50 meters, so one definitely has to know how to swim to decide to get into one. We dived several times in the water, and the last time, which incidentally was recorded, my arms lashed with water, and they hurted me all that day. It was a very fun day, tho. I think it was of my favorite parts of the trip. Back in Cancun, we had the bad luck that two policemen at different points stopped us, one of them sadly asked for a bribe. Bad! That evening I asked Majira to record an advance video for the podcast "Viernes Furry", and then after that we had pizza. Kurtt, Dixie, Majira and I went to the beach at night, only to wet our feet while we talked. It was a very pleasant and enjoyable night.

Beach and Kayaking Day

In the morning we had breakfast in Vips, they did a few purchases in souvenir shops (Fox bought some cuban cigars, which really came out very cheap, I feel that they gave him an incorrect price, because they were too cheap; when I asked the price, the lady doubted the amount she had to say), and the rest of the day was more of being on the beach.

We rented some Kayaks, I had never rowed before. My Kayak companion was Majira, it was fun to see how anything frightened him: the waves, other ships around, the water...

It was very tired but fun, ended up hurting my arms and legs.

That day we were in the hotel pool, swimming on the beach, suddenly it started to rain very hard. We ate very "mexican" in a Jhonny Rockets

Viernes Furry

As many of you know, I am one of the 3 hosts of a weekly furry themed podcast called "Viernes Furry" (a correct translation would be Furry Friday), broadcast only in Spanish. Sometimes we have guests in the shows, which had always been people who spoke Spanish (or Portuguese, once), but this time there was an exception, it was the first time we had an English speaker: Majira Strawberry.

That at the beginning of the broadcast was also Fox Amoore, but he went to sleep early and only left us Majira and me in the microphone that we transmitted from Cancun, although much of the program was also Kurtt with us. And of course with Koidel from Guadalajara and Apolo from Mexico city.

It was a particular difficult show, because at the beginning I didn't feel that Majira felt completely comfortable, although he had gladly accepted to participate in the show (thanks, Majira, I appreciate it a lot), the good thing is that the longer the time passed, the better he would let himself talk more (I still think that he was very tired that lasted 2 hours, we are already used to being in a microphone for 2 hours in a row talking). But the most difficult thing was to have been translating everything we said both in English (so Majira understood) and in Spanish (so that our audience could understand what Majira was saying and what we were saying to Majira). I think it could have been better, but we are not professionals in translations in real time. If you want to see the podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBNli7hxtA4

ROADTRIP IN MEXICO

Trip to Chetumal

We had a great plan, the idea was to go very early from Cancun to Bacalar (from the north of the state of Quintana Roo to the south) and stay the night in Chetumal to continue our journey the next day.

But we never have the great delay we would have with the car rental, because the car we used the previous two days we had to return and rent a new one that we could take to Mexico City and deliver it there, but the time they made us wait for was until 3 o'clock in the afternoon in Cancun. While we waited, I was advancing work from the ipad, and Majira was taking videos.

Already on the way to Chetumal, we stopped to eat in Playa del Carmen, a very express stop where we tried to decide a plan B to stay better there and leave aside the Chetumal plan, because we would not have time to get to Bacalar . The plan B couldn't be made because the Chetumal hotel couldn't be canceled, as the hotel in Playa del Carmen couldn't be reserved. So we went to Chetumal, where I helped in driving, just to spend the night.

It was not bad, because the Chetumal hotel was very nice, it had a pool on the terrace and a bar. I liked that evening a lot, the 6 we played the tag game in the pool, running around like children all over the pool. And then Kurtt, Ed, Majira and I sat at the bar, both to talk with the waiter (who had some flirtations, because he had beautiful eyes and a cute smile) and of course talking among us. According to Majira, that was his favorite dinner in Mexico. It's funny that it's the second time I have a friend from another country in Mexico, I take them to eat all kinds of Mexican food, and in the end they say that their favorite food was nachos, which is not even so Mexican altogether.

Trip to Coatzacoalcos

Much of the next day was driving, and not even for a very fun road. It is nice to know that we are on a road in the middle of the jungle, but the landscape is very repetitive, and it is a very long straight where you don't go through any interesting place, and where there are no gas stations or any place to eat. It was me who drove all that way, from Chetumal, Quintana Roo to Escarcega, Campeche, which was where we stopped to eat at a Burger King. Yeah, Burger King, hehe, there were not many options in that small town either.

During the trip there were many check points, because we were very close to the borders with Guatemala and Belize, and there were many military checking the cars, something funny is that there were always street vendors who took advantage of the small traffic of the check points to sell anything: fruits, giant tortillas, cell phone chargers, windshield wipers, etc. And everyone chased us with their products in hand. Majira took pictures of them, some of them were gold pics.

From there we stopped to Coatzacoalcos, Veracruz, where the Ed Puma's family hosted with an incredible kindness, which was much appreciated. That evening we had dinner in La Parroquia, and we walked by the pier of Coatzacoalcos, funny thing is pier in spanish is "Malecón", I laughed a lot when they said that was the Male-Con, the convention of male. In the Malecon there were many people, because there were some clowns doing a show, one of those clowns offered us to take a picture in a pyramid that was by the sea, and then we all took a picture with that clown. We were watching the waves on the seashore in the dark, and we also saw the cargo ships in the distance. As Coatzacoalcos is a port, mainly oil ships. I wet my feet with shoes on, and then I chased Majira threatening that I was going to get him wet too. It was a fun evening. At Ed's parents' house, we watched the Over the Hedge movie and then we slept.

Trip to Mexico City

We left early from Coatzacoalcos, not before having breakfast at the house of Ed's parents, who very kindly cooked for us.

We made a very express stop in Orizaba to eat, what a pity that we didn't stop there longer, because in January 2017 I went to Orizaba with Roni and it's a really beautiful place.

Before entering the state of Puebla, we passed through the summits of Maltrata, curves on the road that were very scary, and that there was also foggy. However Kurtt was driving at a speed as if the fog didn't exist, so we were very afraid, but at the same time a lot of laughter.

In Puebla it was my turn to drive to Mexico City, but there was an accident on the Puebla highway (don't worry, didn't affect us directly) that made us stay stucked in a traffic jam for more than an hour. But at last we reached Mexico City, and with it our hotel, in the Zona Rosa.

Mexico City

We had many plans in Mexico City in mind to take them, since it's the city that both Kurtt and I know as the back of our hand, we had many places in mind. But the traffic in Puebla, and other extra traffic in the summits of Maltrata made us arrive later than expected to the city, so we couldn't do much.

That night we made a spontaneous furmeet with some furries from the city, Apolo (great friend and fellow host of the podcast Viernes Friday), Alf (whom I had the pleasure to meet for the first time, after chatting with him on the internet for some months) arrived behind, Metalpuppy (whom we would later see in Toronto, for Furnal Equinox), and several others, whom some of them I completely didn't know them.

We went to dinner at "Casa de Toño", a place of pozole and verious Mexican food, quite delicious and excessively cheap. We were about 15 people at a large shared table, and when the bill came, Fox Amoore was very impressed how cheap it was (and we all really ate a lot) who offered to invite us all. (Thank you very much, Fox!)

We went for a walk along Reforma Avenue, one of the main avenues in Mexico, until we reached the Angel of Independence, a symbol of the city. And after we returned to the Zona Rosa, we stopped at a 7 eleven, where we bought many candies that only exist in Mexico. We went back to the hotel, and after an argument with the hotel managers to let everyone into the room, only to record a video, they allowed us to do it. We recorded a video for the Majira's channel, where we tried Mexican candies, both typical sweets and commercial candies that are only sold on this side. It was very funny, but also very tired, because we were arriving from a very long roadtrip, it was already late night, and we had to wake up early the next day, as Majira, Fox and Dixie had their flight at 1 pm. So immediately all the guests left, we fell asleep. The next day we still went to the Mexico City downtown, where we saw the facade of the palace of fine arts, we entered the postal palace, and we walked down the street of Madero to reach the zocalo. Everything was very fast, because in a few hours their flight departed. We said goodbye to Fox, Majira, Dixie and Ed Puma at the airport, I went to my sister's house to leave my bags, only to have a place to leave them, because in a few hours I was also departing to Toronto. While I was waiting, I went to a mall to see the Winchester movie. A horror movie which I liked and didn't like at the same time, because the story went well until it turned out that the ghosts had super powers, and that they used all the time the screamers resource to make the audience jump from their seats, instead actual situations that really provoke terror.

FURNAL EQUINOX Snowy day in Toronto

I departed from Mexico City to Toronto from very early in the morning, however I arrived in Toronto as it was getting dark, since the stopover in Dallas lasted longer than it should, the flight was delayed.

In Toronto, it was Dumpling who picked me up to the airport. Dumpling is a great person, a great friend, someone completely adorable and who has done a lot for me, I love him very much.

That night I stayed with him at his house.

The next day he took me to a frozen lake. It was the first time I walked on a lake made completely ice. At first I was very afraid that in some false step it would break, but apparently the ice sheet was thick enough. We saw traces that looked like from a canine, probably from a coyote. And that's where I made a snowman for the first time, which was more like a snow bear. I had a lot of Fun.

After those great little adventures with my mouse friend, we went to the Furnal Equinox hotel, in Toronto downtown.

My roomies this year were Buckley, Gauge and Stage Lion. Great friends, great people, I loved sharing the room with them 3.

Artists Alley

I won't much of my first moments in Furnal Equinox because it did not really happen much, I was tired and I slept early. And the next day I woke up to setting up the artists alley table.

It's funny that in all the times I've put artists alley table, the only time I had not been so successful was in Furnal Equinox last year, because the place of artists alley had been very hidden.

I thought that this time would be repeated that bad luck, because although now we were accommodated in a more visible place than last year, 30 minutes passed after they had opened the doors and no one went through the artists alley. It was not until I posted a post on Twitter and Telegram indicating exactly where artists were, that people started to arrive and, as usual, my commission slots were filled immediately. But it was strange to be more than 30 minutes at the table without doing anything or receiving anyone. Actually, I did something, I made two very quick birthday drawings for Bacon Coyote and Yipee Coyote, who were celebrating their birthday that day and a day later respectively.

Majira came to my table (for the first time in life he stopped in my table!!), and he bought me some merch, paying me in Mexican pesos. Hehe, of course they were welcome, because I need them back home.

Finishing the artists alley, I went to eat something and then to the concert of Fox Amoore, who supposedly would be with Pepper Coyote, but Pepper was not in that concert. Instead of him were the members of the Xephyr band, and personally I didn't like how they sounded with Foxes and Peppers, they are great playing their own songs, very rock/alternative, but Pepper was very missed at that show, fortunately in the AD show, Pepper was there and it was very funny as always.

Fursuit Games, Fursuit Festival and Toronto walking

For the second year in a row, I participated in the Furnal Equinox fursuit games. And for the first time my streak of first places in fursuit games was stained, and not with a decent second place, but in a last place. X_X

But still I must say that it has been the fursuit games that I have enjoyed most of all the times I have participated, the contests were fun, the mood of the audience was very special this time, and I really had a very pleasant time.

Almost immediately afterwards the Fursuit Festival started, something that replaced the fursuit parade, as almost all the conventions are already doing. Personally I like these festivals more than the fursuit parades, they give rise to the fursuiters play more with people, and that not only we pass marching and having very little opportunity to interact with the cameras and with people.

Among the photoshoots, there was one of bears, and curiously we were only 3 bears that we wanted to be in that photoshoot: a grizzly, a polar, and me. So we wanted to take a photo making a pile, to make the reference of the We bare bears show, however the photographer didn't understand that reference and insisted on accommodating that pile that we wanted so much according to our size, and not to the position of: polar, panda and grizzly as it should have been. And when we insisted on accommodating ourselves in that order, the photographer ignored us and didn't take any pictures of us doing the correct pile.

After the fursuit festival, it was organized an alternative walking to the Roundhouse park, where we took many photographs on the railways and trains.

As you can read, I had already been in fursuit for several hours, around 8, so I was already running out, after returning to the hotel and taking off the fursuit, I went to lunch, I was starving.

However, I went back to put on the fursuit to dance, that evening of dancing was very fun, dancing until I got tired, and then watching the show After Dark by Pepper and Fox.

Cutthroat Artist

The next morning, the long-awaited artist Cutthroat was there. And although I had almost no hope of winning, I went with the plan to have fun, not so much to be competitive.

In this edition we participated Anyare, Cat-Monk Shiro, Underbite dragon and me. Three Canadians and one Mexican.

What is the Cutthroat artist about?

They are 4 rounds, each round lasts 10 minutes and in each there is a challenge. The interesting thing is that during each round, there are 1 or 2 sabotages that are up for auctions. Each artist starts with a certain amount of money (fake money, only for the contest) and this money can be used to buy and buy the sabotage for one or more of the competitors.

In the first round, we had to make a badge for a fursuit in the audience, called Barkley, a blue and yellow dog. While we were doing it, the first one to buy a sabotage was me, and I maliciously applied it to CatMonk Shiro. The sabotage was about not to take off the pencil of the paper during the rest of the round.

So he bought the second sabotage to apply to me as revenge, I had to draw holding the pencil with the two closed fists of my hand, it was very difficult.

At the end of each round, a judge eliminates a competitor. The one that had the least beautiful drawing. The first one that was eliminated was Catmonk, who because of me couldn't make a nice drawing in time. U///U Sorry!!

In the second round we had to draw someone's random character in the audience, and represent it with the theme of the convention: livin 'large (BTW were the only drawings we couldn't take them pictures, the owner immediately take them with them and left the place). In that round I didn't worry about the sabotages, between Anyare and Underbite the punishments were thrown, ignoring me completely. Anyare had to draw for the rest of the round with a silver sharpie, and Underbite with his left hand.

The challenge of Underbite was really difficult, it is very complicated to do something decent with the hand that we are not used to draw, however his drawing was very decent, and even so he was the participant that was eliminated. So the final was between Anyare and me.

For the last challenge, we took two random fursonas from the audience, a black dragon and a tiger, and we had to combine them to make a hybrid.

Very difficult, because Anyare is a great artist. In this last round there was only one sabotage, which was very abusive, was to stop drawing and to play blackjack against Huscoon, and beat him 3 times to be able to continue. I bought that sabotage, taking advantage of the fact that I still had a high amount of false money with me. She took 4 minutes to beat Huscoon, so she lost a lot of time. Even so, her drawing was incredible, I was more than sure that she was going to be the winner.

However, I was chosen as the winner, to my surprise. Being that at the beginning I didn't even want to participate, but Bcbreakaway had already insisted on me for two previous cutthroat artists, and I didn't want to tell him no. Also, I was sure it would be fun, and it was, I really wouldn't have minded in the least losing even from the first round, I went to have fun.

Another thing is that I thought the cash prize of up to $ 25 was a joke, but it was not, in the end I won 15 Canadian dollars in cash, haha.

Thank you, Bc, for inviting me, it was really hilarious!!! Sorry for saying no previous times.

The end of the adventure

There was not much else to do the rest of the convention, I saw the end of the fursuit dance competition, someone who I didn't even see his performance because he was one of the first and I got to see the last 6 participants. I saw the closing ceremonies. I was not much in the dead dog party because the truth is that this year was a very boring party, literally dead. I was in the lobby chatting with friends, I packed my stuff and I was in the room talking with my roomies.My return flight didn't leave until the next day at dawn, so I spent an extra day in Toronto, went shopping in art stores, and bought some plushies in a mall. 

Then Dumpling invited me to go out for dinner with the Asian group, it was very fun, I met new people, including Arco Shep, who I liked very much.

My flight ended up getting late until 7 o'clock on Tuesday morning, so Dumpling did me the great favor of hosting me one more night in his house, which I thank you infinitely for all the kindness.And all day Tuesday was of flights and buses, until arriving home, very tired and very sleepy, but full of experiences that became unforgettable. 

I really feel very grateful to the furry fandom for giving me so many things, so many friends, so many good times, and for letting me be myself.

Thanks to you for reading this until the end, sure were very few who read absolutely everything, I don't blame them, I think I wrote this more for me, and for those who wanted to take a time to know how it was in the latter Two weeks I was a little absent from uploading artistic content to my networks.

This panda loves you!!!

[broship-addict]

Angst free prompt: Little acts of domestic helpfulness. Like, making the other tea or making sure their favorite fork is clean or something.

idk if you’re even still around anon because this is nearly a year late and deviates a l o t from the original prompt but it was fun to write anyways :) thank you!

on ao3

A fumble with keys, then a rattle as the doorknob turns. While no sound comes from the swing of the door, Neil enters the apartment calling, “Honey, I’m home,” and that makes more of a racket than it would’ve if he’d just slammed it against the adjacent wall.

Andrew, who has long since become used to this particular part of their routine, merely grunts in response. Their mocking attempts to imitate the horrors of heteronormative domesticity is something shared between two men who have finally found themselves settling into a relatively uneventful life, and Andrew cherishes it even if it isn’t worth the breath to say so.

Over the screams of the boring thriller he’s watching, Andrew can hear the clatter of Neil’s keys as they’re dropped into the little dish that the Boyd-Wilds children had made for them, the thud of the door’s latch being put into place, the shuffling of Neil struggling out of his running shoes because he always refuses to undo the laces. He flips through the channels as Neil stumbles into the living room, reeking of and drenched in sweat. His hair is half plastered to his face and half valiantly reaching for the ceiling - courtesy of that goddamned bandanna - and the only thing that Andrew appreciates about this particular image is the fact that Neil’s legs in those tiny short-shorts still look tantalizingly good.

Neil tosses a candy bar his way - a fancy-flavoured KitKat from the Asian corner store three blocks down the street - and he would have missed horribly had Andrew’s reflexes not been as good as they are. Without a racquet Neil’s a useless shot, and Andrew raises a single eyebrow at him judgingly.

“Oh, fuck off,” Neil tells him, grabbing an old Palmetto water bottle from the fridge. “I’m taking a shower.”

“Better clean your mouth while you’re at it,” Andrew says boredly. He pauses long enough on a cooking show to unwrap his bar, but hastily changes it again once the big box of spinach is brought out. At his feet their puppy - a loud and excitable thing that Amelia had somehow managed to convince them to take in - gazes hopefully at the candy.

Andrew takes care to keep it far out of her reach, because he’s not cleaning up dog vomit and he refuses to listen to Neil complain about letting Cerberus eat chocolate.

He’s busy trying to choose between leaving the TV on Mythbusters or switching to Jeopardy when Neil finally comes out of the shower, flushed pink from the heat and scrubbing at his wet hair with a towel so the ends stick up even more. That decides it, Andrew thinks, and sets the remote down. Neil gets bored to death watching game shows.

(He nearly changes his mind when Neil leaves the towel draped over the back of a dining chair, since they both know it irritates him, but in the end all he does is huff in exasperation.)

“Hey,” Neil says, finally coming to stand in front of Andrew. It’s achingly familiar, and Andrew can remember that soft tone from a bus ride nearly two decades ago. Neil likes to say it when he wants Andrew’s attention, as if Andrew is not always, always drawn to Neil the moment he enters a room.

“You’re blocking my view,” Andrew tells him. His mouth is still sweet from the KitKat, the space next to him colder than he’d like.

“Mmm,” agrees Neil. “You do enjoy watching Discovery Channel commercials for glorified dumpster-diving.”

Andrew snaps his fingers at him impatiently. “Of course I do, I have to see your trash ass every day.”

“You like my trash ass,” Neil shoots back, a lazy smile working its way across his face. Andrew glares at him and very pointedly does not let his gaze drift down, to where Neil’s trash ass is being hugged by his sleep shorts.

And at last Neil caves in, crawling into Andrew’s space and turning towards him like a flower to the sun. It still makes Andrew’s stomach feel hot, as if countless fusion explosions are going off there and all he can think is that Neil’s hair smells like the vanilla bean shampoo Andrew had bought for him during his last ice cream run. His fingers tangle themselves into the loose fabric of Neil’s shirt - actually, it might be Andrew’s - and he can’t bring himself to focus on the show as it resumes.

“Now you’re just being distracting,” he mutters, leaning in so his nose is buried in the crook of Neil’s neck. With his glasses laying on their bedside table, he doesn’t have to worry about Neil’s hair getting caught in the frames. It also means that he has to squint in order to see the shit-eating grin Cerberus gives him as she jumps onto the couch cushions, where she knows Neil wouldn’t have the heart to let him shove her off.

And maybe in any other moment Andrew might be inclined to prove her wrong, but Neil is tugging him up for a kiss and he doesn’t mind enough to pick this particular fight. He doesn’t care either, especially with Neil’s lips sliding languidly across his own and their bodies pressed together along their sides. One of Neil’s hands slips under Andrew’s shirt to skim over the pudge of his stomach, and the coolness of a metal band most definitely does not make him purr into Neil’s mouth. The hand stays even when they break away, Cerberus whining loudly about the lack of attention doled out on her.

“Aw, baby,” Neil croons, the corner of his mouth curling up as he leans over to boop the tip of Cerberus’ nose. Andrew pretends that his heart hadn’t stuttered in the single second he’d thought Neil was talking to him.

“I’m not kissing you if you kiss the dog,” Andrew tells him.

A pretty, gasping noise as Neil laughs. He nestles into Andrew’s side, his hand still stroking his stomach as if Andrew was the pet. Cerberus rests her head on the curve of Neil’s hip and for a brief, horribly undignified moment, Andrew wants to be in her place. Instead, he wraps his arm around Neil’s shoulders to pull him closer, no longer awed but no less pleased by how they fit into each other.

They’re quiet for a while, and the only sounds come from the TV and Cerberus’ noisy breathing as she drifts off. Neil’s fingers take to twisting in the trail of hair leading into Andrew’s pants - not tugging enough to hurt - so Andrew retaliates by dipping below Neil’s waistband and brushing the blunt edges of his nails along his ass, light enough to make him shiver. Twenty, even ten years ago they wouldn’t have done this without permission and intent and clear lines, but right in this moment they’re content to trust each other.

“You know,” Neil whispers, once the next commercial break starts. “I think I’m getting old.”

“Really,” says Andrew drily. “What makes you think that?”

There’s a pause, a sigh, and then, “I never thought I’d ever get the chance to be old.”

Andrew pulls out his hand so they’re doing something that can almost be called a cuddle. He likes the awe in Neil’s voice, the steadiness of their breaths, even the background ticking of their cheap clock. Most of all, he likes the way his own mind is turning over the concept, the realization that yes, they’re becoming old and one day they’ll be gross and wrinkly and toothless. They’ve survived and found their reasons for living, even though neither of them had expected to live past their twenties.

Without really meaning to, he pulls Neil’s hand out from under his shirt and traces the simple band absentmindedly. On a whim he brings it up to press a reverent kiss to the metal as Neil hums in contentment. His own ring, usually worn on a chain under his clothes, is lying next to his glasses a room away, because Andrew doesn’t need the familiar weight to remind him of what he has.

“Is there a reason why you brought this up?” Andrew finally asks, carefully threading their fingers together over his lap. Cerberus snorts in her sleep.

“Not really,” Neil says, a hint of a smile only seen because Andrew’s completely given up on watching TV. “My legs were beginning to cramp up so I started thinking about my knees, which were kinda bothering me during my run - I might need to wear a brace next game - then I realized that over the course of the whole day I’ve managed to crack my neck, wrist, knuckles, hip, and ankles. I think my elbow needs to crack, actually, since it’s been feeling weird lately.” He’s quiet for a moment, then continues with, “My back constantly aches and all I can think of is the way we used to make fun of Coach for complaining about all of his joint pain.”

“But you’re still fine,” Andrew guesses, because Neil is still horribly predictable. He doesn’t mention that his own shoulders have been acting up during the past few games, since then Neil would bother him about going to have that checked out. Neil is a fucking hypocrite, he thinks with something that’s close to affection.

“Of course,” Neil says. “I have you. And the Foxes.”

They haven’t been Foxes for years, but Neil’s always been the nostalgic sort. Andrew finds that he’s been becoming more and more nostalgic too, even missing some of his old teammates now that he doesn’t have to see them every day. He doesn’t want to think too hard on it though, and carefully wiggles out from under Neil, who is a lot more draped over him than he thought, and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m making hot chocolate,” he announces. “Want anything?”

“It’s too late for caffeine,” Neil complains, which yes, is completely a sign that he’s becoming old. Andrew, who has gained the Fox kids’ affection by remaining young at heart, finds that the sugar crash outdoes any of the meager caffeine in his hot cocoa mix.

All the same, he pulls Neil’s favourite mug from the drying rack as well, and sends both of them into the microwave full with water. There’s a box of tea bags that help Neil sleep, and Andrew likes the smell. He dumps in more mix than necessary into his own mug while waiting for Neil’s to seep, and comes back to find that his husband has collapsed sideways in his absence.

“Really,” Andrew says dryly. “I’m going to sit on your face.”

“Mmm, maybe when I have more energy,” Neil tells him with a naughty grin, pulling himself back up slowly to avoid waking Cerberus. Andrew hopes in vain that the steam’s blurring out his blush because goddamnit, he’s in his forties and still horribly weak to Neil’s rare hints of dirty talk.

Neil carefully eases Cerberus’ head off him so he’s fully upright, and reaches out to take his mug while Andrew tries to sit without his knees creaking. The sound of explosions and gleeful cheers echo from the speakers around them - Andrew likes the luxury of surround systems and Neil likes the opportunity to shell out money to treat him - and Andrew thinks that this is something worth fighting and surviving for.

He noisily slurps down his hot cocoa and ignores Neil’s little huff of laughter. Their thighs are pressed together even though they’re both careful to keep their elbows from bumping, and outside a car alarm is going off. Before long Andrew’s mug is empty save for the gritty bits of whatever didn’t dissolve, and he sets it down with a soft thud before deciding that it’s Neil’s turn to be leaned against for a change. His fingers run idly along the seams of the couch cushion, and there’s something soothing about the scritching noises his nails make.

“What are you going to do?” Andrew finally asks. The words burst out like he’s been holding them in for years, and maybe he has. “When you retire.”

“Who says I’m retiring?” Neil responds impishly, his smile curving around the lip of his mug. “I could keep playing Exy until I die.”

It’s not funny since Neil has, in fact, nearly died multiple times because of Exy, and Andrew tells him so.

“Fine,” Neil says, maybe a touch shamed. “I could coach. Or volunteer or something.”

Andrew isn’t even surprised. “As long as you’re coaching the same league as Kevin’s Tigers,” he says, just because he likes watching Kevin lose, even by proxy.

Neil hums thoughtfully. “The famous Josten-Day rivalry transcending generations, sounds fun. What about you?”

Without them noticing, Mythbusters had already finished and the channel is switching into something with far fewer explosions. Andrew thinks about the possibilities - they have enough money to comfortably live out the rest of their lives - and about everything that he never thought he’d have. He thinks about foster care and foster homes that were never really homes, about Bee and Wymack and chances that he hadn’t even believed in.

He thinks about the little idea that’s been wiggling around his mind, about Robin and about being able to help fix a broken system in a broken world.

“Volunteer or something,” Andrew eventually says. Neil makes another humming noise, and takes a sip of tea.

“We have time to work it out,” he says, and Andrew likes the way he emphasizes time. After years of countdowns, they’re finally counting up.

Even though it’s chilly outside, the cocoa settles a warmth in Andrew’s stomach and the weight of Neil along his side is better than any blanket. They absently watch whatever’s on - neither of them are paying attention - until Neil’s little sips finally empty his mug.

Their feet bump together when he gets up, and Andrew wordlessly passes him his own mug. He stares a little shamelessly at the strip of skin Neil reveals when he stretches up, and reaches for the remote to turn the TV off. Cerberus is grunting in her sleep, and Andrew considers waking her up before deciding that he doesn’t really care enough about the couch to deal with her trying to sneak into their room. Neil’s still cleaning up the mess Andrew made on the counter  and rinsing out their mugs, so Andrew creeps up behind him and brushes the sides of his arms light enough that he can feel goosebumps form under his fingertips. It’s a sign of how comfortable they’ve become that Neil only relaxes at his touch, and Andrew presses his forehead into the space between Neil’s shoulder blades.

“Bed?” Neil asks.

“Sleep,” Andrew agrees, which does not necessarily mean that they won’t be doing other bed activities later.

“You need to let go of me,” Neil says.

“You need to work harder on arm day,” Andrew says with an emphasizing squeeze, but moves back anyways. Neil turns towards him with a little frown on his face, and Andrew uses his thumb to swipe it away, before tilting Neil’s head down to kiss him.

“Says the man who always skips cardio,” Neil murmurs against his lips as his hands - wet and cold because Andrew’s blocking the towels - come up to gently trace Andrew’s jaw. “C’mon, before we end up having sex in the kitchen. Again.”

It had been a messy affair, and the days when they could stay up past midnight playing Exy are over - Andrew’s eyelids are already feeling heavy. He sighs into their last kiss before pulling away, tugging at the hem of Neil’s shirt - which really is Andrew’s - to lead him into the bedroom.

“Keep your wet hair to your own pillow this time,” Andrew says, climbing in first like always. Neil takes up the other side of the bed, and the rustle of the sheets is actually sort of comforting.

“Hey,” Neil says again, once the blanket’s thrown over them and Andrew’s clammy feet are sucking the warmth from his own. He needs to stop saying it like that, because Andrew’s mind tends to get whisked away to glaring sunlight glinting off auburn hair and a sweet smile on a not-so-sweet day. “We’re getting old. Together, I mean.”

“Aging hasn’t made you any quieter,” Andrew grumbles, and their hands find each other in the darkness.

Other than their breathing, it’s completely silent.

[the-genderless-cavalry]

Super roommates; Chapter 2

Summary: Virgil responded to a craigslist ad about renting a house with 3 other people. There were a few warnings. Fires, messy environment, etc. But it did say that the house mates respect boundaries and personal space. That and the extremely cheap price bought Virgil on the spot.  What wasn’t listed was that his three roommates were actually superheroes. This was a terrible turn of events for Virgil, seeing as though he was the villain who owned the headquarters the Trio destroyed a few weeks ago. Pairings: Prinxiety (Romantic), Platonic LAMP

A world that sends you reeling From decimated dreams Your misery and hate will kill us all *Knock Knock* So paint it black And take it back Let's shout it loud and clear

*Knock Knock Knock*

Defiant to the end We hear the call

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* To carry on We'll carry on-

“Alright! Alright! Geez” Virgil stated, turning off the music as a sign of defeat. He got up from his bed and dragged himself to the door. Opening it and looking at the unwanted visitor with a snarl. “Can I help you?” He asked sarcastically.  Logan adjusted his glasses, unfazed at the response of his new roommate. “Patton cooked dinner, come up-” That was when Logan stopped. His unfazed look turned into a shocked and confused one. He caught a glimpse of the  room behind the emo. The once cyan boring room became a dark cave for nightowls and emos like Virgil. 

Logan tore his gaze from the room and turned to Virgil. “How did-” Logan asked, before shutting his mouth again. He had no words to help aid him in his attempt for a sentence. He awkwardly pointed backwards, gesturing for him to go out and upstairs. Virgil stepped outside and closed the door, Logan moving to the side as he did so. “K, let’s go” Virgil’s unamused reply shattered the awkward tension. 

Virgil followed Logan upstairs, every step echoing through the silent atmosphere. “How did you move all those? We didn’t notice you moving furniture to your room. You know you could have always asked help from us. We’re your house mates, so we should all get along” Logan said. Yeah, that ain’t happening anytime soon. Virgil hated heroes. So, for now, he figured he’ll play along. “Yeah, sure. Just didn’t want to bother you guys” Virgil shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. 

They reached the kitchen just in time to see Patton setting down a plate of meatloaf while Roman was pouring lemonade in each glass. The table had four chairs now, unlike this morning with only three. Maybe they were too busy ruining villains�� lives to remember they have a new house mate?  “Heya kiddo! I hope you’re not allergic to garlic, because I made garlic meatloaf! My special recipe” Patton winked before turning around and grabbing a bowl of salad. “And salad! Because vegetables are important!” 

“No, I’m not” He said, plopping himself a seat across from Roman, who took a seat after filling everyone’s glasses with the sour-sweet beverage. As Logan took a seat across an empty chair, presumably Patton’s, Patton was cutting up pieces of meatloaf into 8 equal parts, giving each head two slices each. He also placed an equal amount of salad on the side. As Virgil stared at the food in front of him, the others were already taking their first bites. How long has it been since Virgil had a homemade meal? ...Maybe the last meal where his parents were alive? Yeah. Any meal after their death was either from a restaurant, take out or instant noodles. Surprising how he survived this long with just those three options for food. “Virgil, aren’t you going to eat? Patton put a lot of effort into this!”  Roman asked, his mouth half full. When was the last time he ate with anybody? A few years, maybe? D.C and the other villains  usually have pizza, so Virgil took some to his room. But now, here he is. Eating with superheroes who are out to get him. 

“Virgil?” Roman asked again. He snapped out to reality and noticed the others looking at him. He felt the pressure in his chest, making his heart pump faster. “Sorry... just thinking. I haven’t had a homemade meal in a while...” Virgil said, his gaze falling to the food. “Then get used to it, you’ll be getting loads of them from now on!” Patton said, stuffing another forkful of meat into his mouth. Virgil stuck his fork into the slice of meat and cut a piece off. He brought the food to his mouth and ate it. The taste of garlic and other spices blended well together with the meat. A small smile made its way to his mouth. He took another bite. And another. And another. Until his entire plate was empty. He chugged the sweet tasting lemonade, the sugar blending extremely well with the sourness of the lemon. He hadn’t had a meal like this in forever. 

“You really do look like you enjoy home cooking, huh?” Logan asked, gesturing around his mouth. Virgil took the hint and grabbed a napkin from the container in front of them that was next to the sauces. He wiped the salad dressing and meatloaf juices off his face. “Yeah. I guess so” He said. He had a strange feeling. It felt weird, painful for his heart. And yet, he loved it. He hated to admit it, but he enjoyed the company of the superheroes. Maybe they weren’t so-

The notification of his phone broke the moment. Everyone looked at Virgil. He took out his phone and cautiously checked it. 

D.C.

We have work to do. Meet us at the house at 12

Midnight? Really? “Who was it, Virgil?” Patton asked as he was grabbing the plates off the table. “Just my boss. He needs me to go to work at midnight. Must be a busy night if the cashier had to tune out so early” Virgil said. He wasn’t lying, they need him to work at midnight. Hoarfrost must not have wanted to work tonight, he usually ducks out of missions so Virgil has to be called. Not his problem, he was the one getting paid instead of him. “Ah. Poker houses do have that habit, do they not?” Logan said, lifting his head from a book about trigonometry. He must be tutoring tomorrow. Patton sets the dishes in the sink, ready to wash. “Ah! Patton, I can do it” Virgil volunteered. “It’s fine, kiddo! I’m the one doing chores around here” Patton laughed it off. “But you cooked the meal! And I can’t just let you have more things to do. Just, let me do it?” Virgil insisted. He wasn’t taught that way. Even villains have manners, too. Before Patton could object, Virgil already had the plates and sponge he was holding in hand. Black gloves that seemingly came from no where protected his hands from the suds and water.

“If you insist, kiddo... but... are you really sure? You know I can just-” Patton said before noticing Virgil already started rinsing the extra food scraps off the plate. Patton sighed, defeated, before going to the living room. He looked behind him,and noticed Roman and Logan were gone. He smirked before turning back to his task. He grabbed each plate and black glazed over each one, becoming shiny clean. He knew Patton was Tidal, a member of the crystal trio who can control water, but he couldn’t let someone who has done him one solid do him another without being paid back. His parents would’ve been disappointed.

...

Virgil put all the dishes into (hopefully) it’s rightful containers and withdrew back to his room. He passed by Patton and Logan, who were already heading upstairs to turn in for the night. They both greeted Virgil a safe night and Virgil greeted them good night before separating. He noticed Roman on the couch, watching Mulan on the TV. He watched from behind the couch until finally making a remark. “So, watching a Disney movie at 9 pm?” Virgil asked. Roman looked at Virgil, his gaze looking a little offended. “You can never be too old for Disney!” Roman yelled before throwing a pillow to Virgil’s face.”Hey! I didn’t say that! I meant is this normal for you? Watching Disney movies at this time of night?” Virgil clarified. “Ah! Well, before sleeping, I always end my day with a Disney movie. It just helps give the day a good ending” Roman explained. Poetic. Really poetic. He might as well be an actual prince himself. “Would you like to join me? You’ve been watching behind the couch for a good 2 minutes” Roman invited. Virgil’s face flushed. Had he really been standing there for that long? “Sure, I have 3 more hours before I have to go to work, anyways” Virgil said before setting himself down on the couch. The hero and villain sat at both ends of the couch, as far apart as possible to avoid anything awkward happening. As extra protection, Roman set the bowl of popcorn between them- providing as a barricade for the two. 

Every song that played in the movie, they both sang along. Virgil had stopped watching Disney movies when he was 12, after he lost his parents; but still remembered most of the lyrics. Roman had the majority of lyrics sung, seeing as though it was his favorite movie. Nevertheless, they still had fun.

Two and a half hours later and they finished mulan and the lion king. Virgil glanced over at the clock to see he had 25 minutes to get ready. “Well, I better get going” Virgil said, getting up. He only realized now that he and Roman were sitting next to each other. Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand, stopping him from moving out. “In that?” Roman asked, looking at Virgil head to toe. His outfit did get wrinkled thanks to the small marathon they had, but honestly, Virgil couldn’t care less what he wore. Roman thinks the world of it. When Virgil shrugged, Roman stood up and quickly ran to his room- Virgil still in hand. 

They ran through the hallway and reached the view-tuber's room. They quickly got in and that was when Roman released Virgil’s hand. Roman quickly went to his closet and rummaged through the assortment of clothes. Virgil stood awkwardly, his hand holding onto the his other arm. “Aha!” Roman pulled out a purple turtleneck, a black jacket, black jeans and black camper boots. “These will fit you nicely! And just your style too!” Roman threw them to the emo before shoving him into his bathroom. “Try them on!” Roman said before closing the door. Virgil quickly locked the door and sighed. What was happening? How did he get into this situation? He examined the clothes. They were in fine condition, however the angel wing design at the back of the jacket bothered him. He simply shrugged it off and tried the combo on. 

He took off his jacket and shirt to reveal scars all over his body. Scars that were once wounds he had to heal by himself. Thanks to those heroes. He had to keep reminding himself who the true enemies are. People who are sharing the same house as him. He put on the clothes and looked at himself. It was okay, he looked decent. He would have preferred a hoodie, but this is good enough.  He grabbed his old clothes and walked out of the bathroom to find Roman waiting for him at his vanity. Roman beamed when he saw him. “You look stunning! I knew they’d fit you. Put your clothes in my laundry basket behind my bathroom door and come over here. I’m gonna fix your makeup” Roman said. Virgil put his clothes in his laundry basket and walked over to the prince.

Prince grabbed a few eye shadows and concealers and worked his magic on Virgil’s face. “You know, I run a view-tube channel with over 2 million subs. You might have heard about me, Prince Creativity. I make-” “Fashion and makeup videos. Yes I’ve heard of you. I used to watch your videos a lot” Virgil said, finishing Roman’s sentence for him. The egoist’s expression showed shock and astonishment. “Really now?” Roman asked, a smirk playing his lips. “I suppose I was also the one who taught you how to put on our makeup?” Virgil nodded in response.  Roman looked at the vanity mirror with Virgil with a proud look on his face. Virgil looked even more dark and sinister than he was before, but it complemented his outfit nicely.

As Virgil stared into the mirror, Roman chuckled. “Your hair is an extremely dark shade of black. Almost looks dyed” Roman said. Virgil shrugged. “It’s natural, believe me” “And your eyes?” Roman cocked his head to the side, smile still visible on his face. “What about my eyes?” He checked and wanted to sigh in relief to see they’re still black. “They’re like a pair of black diamonds in the midst of a wide variety of brightly colored gems” Roman said. To that, Virgil didn’t know how to respond. Is that a good or bad thing? But before he could ask for clarification, Roman had already placed his left hand on Virgil’s right shoulder. “And I mean it in a good way. You’re a good man, Virgil Dean” That struck Virgil hard. He wasn’t supposed to be a good person. He was supposed to be a villain. A person who tries to get rid of the godforsaken hero filth that crawls on this Earth. “Yeah” Virgil laughed awkwardly before standing up. “I should get going. My boss will get angry” Virgil said, seeing Roman follow his action. “And I have to get to bed, I’m going to be making another video tomorrow, and Princes have to slay” The motto of his channel. He loved the fact that Roman could use his last name in so many motivational quotes and slogans. Virgil gave a small smile before leaving him, saluting the man in bed as he closed the door. 

Virgil hurriedly ran down the stairs to see he only had five minutes to get there. Instead of hurrying, however; he simply relaxed and walked out of the door.  As soon as he closed the door, he sunk into the shadows- not a single trace left behind.

[graequeen]

La Mia Ragazza Rockey

CHAPTER 2

    “Gurl, I wish I fucked them up more!" Caden said angrily, as he slouched over his small kitchen counter. He had just finished updating me on what happened after I left, and what their “punishments” were. Danny and Veronica received final warnings, with a four day suspension. Caden walked out with a three day suspension, and his first warning. Jack wanted to fire me for walking out on a shift, but Ryan decided otherwise. It didn't bother me as much if they did fire me; I don’t plan on working with Danny or Veronica again.

             "But besides that bullshit, tell me exactly what you did!” Caden demanded in a drunken slur. He had already finished his fifth glass of Pinot Grigio, and was pouring his sixth. I was slumped over his small couch, trying to keep myself together. The empty gallon of Cookies and Cream ice cream and empty bottle of Jameson meant that I was going to have a “fun” morning tomorrow. 

    “Cade, you should have seen the mess I made in his apartment!” I exclaimed, my eyes fixed to the floor. For some reason, I couldn’t muster up the strength to lift them. I kept my eyes fixated on the small dent Caden made months ago when he decided to wear red Peep-Toe Mary Janes for Halloween. The cheap floor caved in the second he walked on it with heels.  

    “Rockey, YOU should have seen his face when Danny and Veronica left the restaurant! I swear Danny shitted himself when he saw what happened to his car!” Caden rejoiced as he recounted the look of horror Danny had plastered all over his face. “The dumb ass is probably still there crying…”

    ‘I would have paid money to see Danny’s face…’ I thought to myself. The thought brought a small smile...and tears to my face. I thought I had gotten over the need to cry years ago, after my grandpa died. 

    Caden stumbled over to me, and jumped onto the other side of the couch, landing on my feet. I made some room for him, though it was a bit difficult. After walking for hours, I had lost feeling on both legs. The air became heavy, as if I was being cornered in a hoarder's house. I knew he wanted to “talk”...

    “Rockey...babe...I am so sorry this happened…” Caden said, reaching out to grab my hand. I could only squeeze his hand back; I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. 

    “Why do guys cheat?” I asked, not expecting an answer from Caden. It was mainly a question that I wanted to ask myself. “Like, was I not enough? Did I mean nothing to him?!” Caden remained quiet, allowing my thoughts to run wild outside my mind. 

    I felt my body lift itself off the couch, and I found myself stumbling across Caden’s living room. Thankfully his roommate was gone for the night; I knew that my little performance would not be quiet to any degree. 

    “I mean, I work THREE FUCKING JOBS to help pay rent, and put gas in his car! I bought him so many things, including his stupid ass video games! I spent so much money on him, thinking that I was building a future! I lost so many years because of him. What the fuck am I? A 27 year old slob with no degree, and no place to stay!” I was screaming at the top of my voice; the thought of Caden’s neighbor was the last thing on my mind.

    “But don’t think I didn’t get even! I fucked up his entire apartment! I sprayed painted EVERYTHING inside. I destroyed all of his appliances and burned his clothes in the park outside. And I smashed his video games and Play Station. I even used his Macbook to cop weed!” The more I spoke, the stronger the urge was to cry. I didn’t want to...I didn’t want to admit how hard Danny affected me. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction…

             Caden jumped up from the couch, and slowly made his way to me. "FUCK MEN! Men are nothing but dogs! You deserve so much better!” He exclaimed. Caden could care less if his neighbor’s called the cops. 

    My phone began to ring, bringing me back to reality. Caden and I looked at my phone as if it were a foreign object. I had left my phone on top of the three bags I brought over. There was nothing but clothes, underwear, and my grandpa’s possessions. Whatever I couldn’t carry, I gave away. The walk from Danny’s apartment to Caden’s was two hours that I will never get back. And the walk from one side of Newark to another was fun. 

    We looked at it for a few more seconds, before I stumbled over to it. As I neared it, I noticed Danny’s picture. ‘He was calling…?’

    “What the fuck does he want!?” Caden demanded as he saw Danny’s picture.

    “Maybe to curse my life out after the mess I made?” I said laughing. “The fucker deserved it…” I felt my hands move on their own, and before I could process what was going on, I answered the call. 

    “What the fuck do you want you lying piece of fucking shit!?” I yelled. Caden was beside me, trying to grab the phone. For some unknown reason, I did what I could to hold onto it. 

    “Rockey, baby can we please talk?!” Danny pleaded. It sounded like he was crying for hours. It was a neat trick he used before to get me to forgive him. I could feel a heavy feeling growing at the pit of my stomach, and I had this growing urge to hug and comfort him. Thank God he was not here…

    “Just tell me Danny...why?” I asked. I could hear my voice crack. I was going to cry. “What have I done to deserve this?!”

    Silence. I could barely hear Danny breathing. Caden stopped as well, as if he wanted to know the answer to the question as well.

    “Have I not supported you? Was I not attractive anymore…?” My tears began to fall, and my words were getting harder to understand. “Was it because I was always working? Did she give you something that I didn’t? Did she make you feel special?!” I could barely hold myself together. It sounded as if I was choking on a fruit that would not go down my throat. 

    “Rockey...please I can’t understand you when you’re like this…” Danny said softly. I pulled the phone away from me, trying my hardest to collect myself. I hated how he made me feel like I was acting like a fool. 

    After a few minutes of silence, I brought the phone back to my ear. “Understand this…In a few years when you are alone, wondering why there is nothing good going on in your life, I want you to think of this moment. I want you to think of what could’ve happened. I want you to ask yourself why you allowed yourself to go astray. I hope that at that moment you understand the pain you put me through. I want you to understand how alone and humiliated I feel right now. I want you to waste years wishing you did not give up on us. I want you to feel this fucking agony. Then, and only then, are you allowed to call me and ask to talk! Until then, go fuck yourself you fucking cock-sucking, dirty ass FUCKWEASEL!” With that, I hung up the phone and threw it against the wall. 

    I collapsed onto the floor, crying harder than I have ever done. I hated this feeling! I hated feeling vulnerable and low. All I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and die; anything was better than this.

    Caden rushed over to me, comforting me as best he could. “Rockey, listen to me… This pain is only temporary.” He brought my eyes to meet him, as he wiped away my tears. “Honey, Life went ahead and showed you that he was not meant for you. Lessons learned are not a waste of time. Feeling this pain, and embracing it, is going to make you stronger. You have a fighting spirit, and at times you are going to have to be tested. It is going to suck, but I know that you are going to pull through. And before long, you are going to look back at this moment and realize that everything you’ve been through has led you to a better future. A future where you learn to love yourself again. Where you learn to let go of your fears and anger. And when you learn that everything is going to be ok, you will find someone who deserves to be with you. Someone who appreciates the little things you do for them. Someone who won’t give you up so easily. Until then, remember you always have me.”

    I gave Caden a weak smile, but it was enough for him. He gave me a hug and continued to hold me until I fell asleep. Whether I was ready for it, Life was going to continue pushing forward. I knew at some point, I was going to have to get up and move alongside it. 

[lostboysoflondon]

Storm Chaser AU

It’s nearing two in the afternoon and Harry’s waiting in the radar room for the telltale sign of another NOAA suicide mission. It’s inevitable-any time the sky darkens to a grey gloom, the NOAA team plus Niall come barreling through the back door of Studio 99. It’s inevitable that whenever the clouds begin drifting in peculiar ways and the radar indicates full scale thunderstorms ahead, Harry will play the waiting game.

With his focus completely shot, he sits in his own personalized black spinning chair. His initials H.S embezzle the back of the leather padding, a bit gaudy for workplace furniture, but Perrie insisted he use it when she bought it for his fifth anniversary as anchor meteorologist at Studio 99. Now, Harry’s sure she regrets it.

“Styles, you’re going to dig yourself a hole at the rate you’re spinning.”

Her blue acrylic nails clack on her computer keyboard as she finalizes her weather report for the four o’clock news.

Harry hasn’t checked his radar in over ten minutes. The bright red and green squiggly lines would surely make him nauseous now that his stomach’s been catapulting in his body for this long. He hasn’t always been like this before a storm; unproductive, and anxious, and crazy.. He’s just…distracted.

It’s only a matter of minutes before Niall appears with his camera equipment, all smiles and endless excitement. Seconds later, the NOAA team will follow, one man jumpy and cautious with trembling fingers and an expression almost as pained as a constipated toddler. The other man, his polar opposite, all buzzing with anticipation, adrenaline rushing quicker than the whirring speed of an F5 tornado. Completely reckless, completely mad, and the one true source of Harry’s spiral towards insanity.

Louis Tomlinson, one of the many NOAA researchers leading the suicide crusade across the Great Plains in search of one fundamental truth: why do Tornadoes form? Harry doesn’t care much about answering impossible questions, and he doesn’t think Louis does either. For Louis, it’s about the thrill, the chase, the endless possibilities to see the world in its most vicious natural state. For Harry, it’s a death wish and he wants no part in it.

So when Niall, Liam, and Louis burst into Studio 99 with the gracelessness of a beginner ballet squad, Harry finally stops spinning.

“We need keys for the Twirly Whirly! Stat,” Niall hollers without a single glance towards Harry or Perrie, or anyone in the studio, for that matter.

“Jesus, stop calling it that,” Liam says, embarrassment clouding his already pale features as he rushes after Niall, referring to the renowned Studio 99 Storm Chaser van, so dented and worn from the constant abuse of harsh winds and hail that it resembles a round of Swiss cheese

Harry grants himself a brief moment of peace when he realizes Louis isn’t anywhere in sight, but the illusion shatters when bronzed arms reach over his shoulders from behind and a warm breath melts into his neck.

“Hey sunshine,” Louis says, “talk weather patterns to me.” It’s a perfect display of the relentless teasing Harry’s dealt with from the moment Louis arrived at Studio 99 three weeks ago. Harry’s simultaneously grateful for the attention and nervous about what it means. But then again, Harry isn’t interested in pondering impossible questions, like the reasons behind Louis’ endearments. He’s not interested in unraveling the impossibility of Louis.

“Um, according to the ensemble forecasting from NOAA we should be due for severe thunderstorms as early as four with high winds developing into the evening,” Harry rambles, feeling out of breath from the way Louis’ body feels wrapped around his.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, but what about supercells?” Somehow Louis manages to lean in closer, peering at Harry’s computer screen with intense scrutiny and focus. “What are the chances we’ll see mesocyclone formation?”

“Hopefully, none.”

“Harry.” Louis pulls away and slaps him hard on the shoulder, “where’s your sense of adventure? Where’s your unconditional support for my ongoing research?”

“Locked in the first aid kit that you’re going to take with you when you leave on your suicide mission,” Harry replies, rubbing his shoulder to relieve the brief sting of pain from Louis’ unnecessary assault. Despite his reservations about humouring Louis, Harry turns to face him and instantly regrets it. See, Louis’ inability to settle down, along with the constant longing he harbors for his blood to rush through his veins like kryptonite, aren’t the only reasons for his impossible nature. His beauty is unfathomable and Harry is tired.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t insult my career choices, thanks.”

And Harry is most definitely, one hundred percent tired of the way Louis’ lips curl into a satisfied smirk any time Harry plays along with his game. He’s even more exhausted by the way Louis looks so effortless at two in the afternoon, when Harry’s curls have already gathered a hint of frizz.

“Tommo! Stop flirtin’ and get over here!” Niall beckons from the entrance to the home of the Twirly Whirly, also known as The Den, that’s located on the far side of the radar room. It’s actually just…a garage, but Liam wanted it to be called The Bat Cave, so Louis was forced to compromise to avoid “professional mockery”, and now there’s a regular argument about who actually named it The Den in the first place.

Harry thinks it might’ve been Niall’s idea.

“Alright, I’m coming,” Louis yells back, earning a few shushes from Harry’s coworkers in the radar room.

“See ya later, Sunshine.” Louis reaches out to pull a strand of hair from Harry’s face, pat his cheek lightly with his fingertips, and saunter off to where Niall’s making gagging noises like the true best friend he is.

Once Louis is gone it’s quiet again, but only for a moment before the shouting ensues.

“Goddammit Niall, how could you forget your camera charger?” Louis yells, his voice echoing from The Den in a way that makes Harry wish he hadn’t forgotten to pack his earplugs when he left his house this morning. Although, a tiny, annoying part of Harry’s brain is satisfied when Louis spirals into panic mode. It’s kind of hot and Harry doesn’t feel bad for enjoying Louis in every possible way.

Liam’s voice pops up next, most likely trying to calm Louis’ inner fury, but what he says never fails to put Harry even farther on edge than he was before, if that’s even possible.

“Are we good on fuel?” Liam’s voice exerts a professional tone, probably the most professional of anyone in Studio 99. And he doesn’t even officially work here.

“Yes, Liam,” Louis says blankly, and Harry knows this is Louis’ least favorite part of storm chasing: the dreaded checklist.

“Laptop?”

“Check,” Louis replies.

“Radios?”

“Obviously.”

Harry chuckles, earning him a stare from Murphy, the camera guy. Murphy doesn’t like Harry much, if his snide comments about shooting Harry’s Sweaterman segments are anything to go by. But then again, Murphy doesn’t really like anyone, and he definitely doesn’t like Louis.

“Never stops talkin’ that one. Can never get any peace ‘round ‘ere,” Murphy whines beneath his unruly mustache. Harry doesn’t ever recall seeing the man’s lips, with the way his mustache resembles a drooping pair of drapes.

“Harry, did you hear something?” Perrie asks, eyes still glued to her computer screen, once again reminding Harry that he’s getting paid to work, not to sit here, wondering what kind of snacks Louis packed today. He’s definitely not getting paid to think about mustaches.

“Hmm, no. I didn’t,” Harry replies, and Murphy’s eyes contort into small black beads that look a lot like dust mites, which could probably be found in drapes.

Harry decides enough is enough, it’s time to get something done. He can’t worry about Louis, he’s an adult, he can take care of himself, right?

He looks at the information gathering second by second on his computer, doppler radars and NOAA reports, and the Studio 99 twitter feed where Harry’s most devoted Sweaterman fans upload pictures of the sky in hopes that Harry will include them on his evening segment.

Harry’s eyes roam over the screen aimlessly, not seeing anything now except for those Ritz peanut butter crackers that he always makes sure to stock in the break room because Louis mentioned liking them one day in passing.

He sees them because Louis just updated Liam on his snack choices for the day and he just said peanut butter crackers, and Harry can’t pretend his heart hasn’t just burst through the fucking clouds.

It’s only when he hears Liam ask “First Aid Kit?” obnoxiously loudly that Harry drops down from the clouds into full blown panic mode again.

“I dunno, Liam, do we really need the first aid kit?”

Yes, you do, dammit. Harry’s brain keeps telling him to move, to grab the first aid kit from the bottom drawer of his desk. He’s trying so so hard to not give in. He doesn’t need to do this, Louis is a big boy. He can decide if bandages deserve to join him on his suicide mission.

“Louis, are you absolutely sure we don’t need those tiny disinfectant wipes?” Niall asks, after a suspiciously long pause. Harry suspects it’s because he forgot his Imax charger, and even though he doesn’t care much about what people think of him, he cares what Louis thinks, and Louis thinks he’s an idiot for forgetting anything essential to surviving a death trap

“Absolutely,” Louis replies, even louder than before. .

Except, Harry doesn’t have the heart to care if Niall’s feeling sad right now, considering he’s playing the victim for Louis’ cheap thrills and Niall’s helping him.

Harry gets up from his spinning chair. He doesn’t even have to open his bottom desk drawer because Perrie’s already doing it, with a small smirk and a shake of her head, because Harry’s so unbelievably predictable that he feels even more pathetic than Murphy right now.

Harry walks, head bowed, with the tightest of grips on the stupid first aid kit, an unmistakable force compelling him to head to The Den, despite the warning sounds blaring in his head about losing his pride again, for the third week in a row.

When he enters the dimly lit room, he’s met with three glorious smiles, one of them more striking than the others, and all Harry knows is that Louis looks beautiful when he smiles, all white teeth and crinkly skin and eyes brighter than the sun at midday. It’s a bit overwhelming when Harry places the first aid kit into Louis’ outstretched hands and their fingers brush, and Harry realizes he doesn’t mind the teasing or Murphy’s gross comments, or the gagging sounds Niall always makes whenever Harry so much as looks at Louis, Harry would gladly give Louis the first aid kit for the rest of his life if he asked him to.

“Thanks, Harry,” Louis says, throwing the first aid kit into the back of the Twirly Whirly before heading to the passenger door.

“No problem,” Harry replies dumbly, like always, because he can’t help how he reacts to Louis.

“Dress nice tonight, babe. You know I love you in those suits,” Louis adds before winking and disappearing into the Twirly Whirly, ready for whatever mother nature throws at him.

With a final pat on the back from Niall and a short wave from Liam, the Studio 99 storm chaser van starts up, careening through the open garage door like a fire truck rushing towards a collapsing building. The only difference between firemen and Louis is the fact that firemen don’t go looking for fires, but Louis goes looking for storms.

With the van disappearing into the distance, Harry finally looks towards the sky. It’s a lot darker than it was when Harry woke up this morning. It’s ten times darker than the picture @weatherGary sent him on twitter. It’s not as dark as the pit in Harry stomach but he guesses it’ll get there soon enough.

Harry leaves The Den with empty hands and a beating heart, but when he settles back into his chair, it’s only a matter of seconds before he starts spinning again.

It’s business as usual. Harry won’t be sleeping tonight.

[childrenchildrenandchaos]

8 Dimensions of Wellness Series: Environmental

Hello Everyone!

Today I’m posting the official first post towards the 8 Dimensions of Wellness Series and today’s post is about the environmental dimension. As I stated in the introduction post Importance of Wellness in Everyday Life, the environmental dimension focuses on feeling safe in your everyday environment. This goes for social (places you go out with people), personal (your home and/or property), and natural and community (places near you or where you live).

If you’ve been following my blogs, or know me personally, you’ll know that I’ve recently moved areas. I went from a rural area on the back roads to the city. This was not ideal as my family is not fond of city life or having so many neighbors. So this was a slight negative towards our environmental dimension. However, because we do live in the city now there are a lot more benefits rather than the one negative. We are conveniently closer to everything and no longer have to drive 20-45 minutes to get to the store or banks, food now delivers to our house, and there are so many things close by for us to do. There are so many parks near us which is great for our kids. There is also a community pool which they love. The location, while we weren’t thrilled about the change at first, has turned out to be a positive change that we’ve seen a big difference in how we spend time as a family.

The other thing that has had a positive impact on our environmental dimension is our house itself. My husband, two daughters and I lived in a one-bedroom house. Our girls shared a small bedroom that barely fit their beds and toys while my husband and I slept in the “living room” which was actually set up as a studio home. We could barely fit a loveseat and a reclining chair amongst our three dressers because we had no closets anywhere, two shelves, and the kitchen area. It was difficult having company because everyone was crammed in and if we still had guests over and one of us had to go to bed for work, it was difficult trying to be quiet with someone trying to sleep three feet away. This was no ideal, but it was good for us at the time because the rent was cheap and we were able to pay off a lot of debt. This aspect was ideal for our financial dimension, but negatively affected our emotional, social, and especially our environmental dimensions.

Now that we’ve moved, my husband and I realized we could breathe so much better. We have a three-bedroom home now. With closets! The girls still share a room because they didn’t do well with moving but their room is so big that we can fit their beds, dressers, and toys and still have plenty of room to play in the middle. They love it and we love it too. The extra bedroom has been designated as my husband’s man cave where he can escape whenever he wants. My desk is going in the living room along with bookshelves and dozens of books. We all have our own personal spaces now and none of us feel stressed around our environment. My husband and I haven’t argued over anything since moving because we’re no longer breathing down each other’s necks in our home. This environmental change in our home life is extremely positive for us and we can tell has already changed our wellness in a positive way and we’ve been here less than two weeks now. If you live in a small home that doesn’t fit your family comfortably, finding a bigger place is a must. Of course, you’ll want to look into whether you can afford a bigger place, but being in a comfortable home environment has many affects on a person’s wellness and if you have multiple people in your home it has an affect on all of them, not just yourself.

Another aspect of the environmental dimension is appreciating nature. I had a lot of plants at the old house and I had them laying around outside and packed inside our already small home. Now we have plenty of room for my plants inside. My oldest daughter has asked for plants in her room and bathroom. We have so much kitchen space that my husband has gotten me two house warming herb plants already for me to use in cooking. All of my plants have been potted plants and I now have a nice yard and have been given permission to plant a small outdoor garden around our house. We’re renting so we do still have to ask to do certain things but being able to plant an outdoor garden is a nice change because we couldn’t plant anything in the ground at our old place. Plants have amazing health benefits, some are better for sleeping, others for purifying air, good for allergies and asthma, and many other benefits. They also look gorgeous inside and outside of homes and I’m super excited to have a bigger indoor and outdoor garden – my husband calls our home a mini forest.

Because we live in the city now, we’re looking in to getting a bike because my husband would prefer biking back and forth to work than driving and using gas. He also like being outdoors and the rural area allowed him to be outside whenever he wanted but now that we’re in the city we have multiple outdoor sports areas and he’s excited to be able to have something close by to do rather than just sitting outside or walking down the same trails over and over again.

Another thing we’re looking into doing is recycling because it helps reduce pollution to our more expanded environment. We started to recycle cans and plastic at our old place, but we stopped because of the lack of room to put them. We have plenty of room in our kitchen to have three trash cans now, one for trash, another for bottles and another for cans. We have looked into compost bins for awhile and it would be extremely beneficial for my plants. However, we have do have to ask permission for it and may not be able to because of the safety concern it may have for the neighborhood kids. Plus, our other neighbors many not appreciate the slight odor when I add it to my outdoor garden because it would linger for a few days. Even if we cannot have a compost bin, it’s worth mentioning to you, my readers, because it’s a great way to help the environment by reducing trash and enriching the soil around your home.

The last thing I am going to incorporate into our home that I hope has a positive impact on supporting our well-being is our home décor. We have so much extra room now that everything is practically bare. We are looking into getting more furniture first. We just bought a couch and had a bunch of friends over the other day and we were all able to sit and spend time together comfortably which was a positive influence on not just us but our friends. They were so happy for us to get a bigger place because while they still came over regardless of how small our other place was, this home is better situated for having company over. We’re also looking into getting more bookshelves because we now have the space to have all my books in one place rather than boxed up and sitting in my aunt and uncle’s basement and I’m happy to be able to see and show off my books. I’m also excited to be able to display my artwork on the walls and my husband has been looking into display cases for all my crystals.

My main goal for décor is to go for a more hygge style. If you don’t know what hygge is, it’s a Danish lifestyle that promotes peacefulness and coziness. My friend got me hooked on looking into this lifestyle and I even made a Pinterest board some time ago to save ideas that I found useful. I want our home to have the feel that hygge is supposed to provide and it will have a positive affect on our environmental dimension as well as our emotional one too. Hygge is more than just décor because like I said it is a lifestyle so there’s a lot more to it, but having décor that makes our home feel peaceful, cozy, and especially safe, is something I was to provide for me and my family. There are multiple versions of hygge that go by different names from different countries. No matter what hygge-like lifestyle you’re more into, the benefits are all the same and that’s creating a home that has positive feelings and it’s something I believe everyone should look into incorporating into their homes. This goes for everyone no matter whether you live alone, with roommates, or your family.

Working on my environmental dimension has been a positive experience so far. I don’t believe you will ever stop improving any of the dimensions of wellness because life is always changing. What’s working for us now may not work a few years down the line and that’s okay. I’m learning to embrace change. No matter how stressful this change has been, it has had multiple encouraging outcomes so far and has changed mine and my family’s environmental dimensions in the best ways possible. The best places to start on improving anyone’s environmental dimensions are to look into how your home is affecting you and/or your family. Is your home too small? Is your location beneficial or causing problems? Next would be to look into your community. What things are available for you and/or your family to do? Another is to look into how you can positively impact the global environment. Can you recycle? If you like gardening, can you start a compost bin to help both the environment and your garden? Do you have a garden or even a couple of plants? This is another area that can improve your wellness as plants have multiple benefits.

These tips are just a few things can have a big impact on improving your environmental dimension and it will affect your other dimensions as well including emotional, social, and depending on your circumstances even the spiritual dimension. Thanks for reading! If you liked this post or any of my others please like, comment, follow either the blog or my social medias or both, and most importantly share this post! Drop a comment on areas of my environmental dimension journey that you found useful or if you have an idea that you think could help others improve their dimensions. What things are you working on to improve your environmental dimension and have they helped so far? I hope everyone has a great week!

- Chelsea <3

Original post on the Coffee, Children & Chaos blog

https://coffeechildrenchaos.wordpress.com/2019/07/12/8-dimensions-of-wellness-series-environmental/

[itsyakpopbois-blog]

waiting for you

“Christmas is supposed to be a happy time of the year, but Jimin feels anything but as he sits alone, without you. His holiday is looking pretty bleak, until there’s a knock on the door and he gets the best present of all.”

genre: mild angst, fluff

pairing: Park Jimin+Reader

playlist: ‘Sofa’ by Crush

author: mama kimchi

note: reposted request from old blog.

It was Christmas, but he didn’t feel any of the cheer. His friends ran around the cabin with excitement, drunk on cheap beer and glee, while he sat on the sofa and thought of you. He let out a heavy sigh as he stared into the fireplace. All he could imagine was you right beside him, and he damned fate for not letting it be so. It was Christmas, for God’s sake. You were supposed to be there. You were supposed to come back a few days before Christmas and spend a few weeks together with him, before both of you had to get back to school and work. But life got in the way, so it was Christmas and you weren’t there. Jimin wrapped his sweater tighter around his body and rested his chin on his knees.

“Ah, come on. I know she’s not here, but she wouldn’t want you to sit around like this either. Come have fun with us!” Jin tugged on the arm of his sweater, an attempt to coax him into joining the others.

Jimin let out a deep sigh, knowing that Jin was right.

“I know…I just can’t help it. I was really looking forward to having her here. It’s our first Christmas together and I just…I don't know, I had high expectations, I guess.”

Jin smiled weakly and squeezed Jimin’s shoulder in acknowledgement. “Life happens sometimes. It’ll all work out. Don’t let this Christmas pass you by.”

Jimin nodded, “Okay, yeah, I’ll come join you guys in a bit. Thanks, hyung.”

After Jin walked away, Jimin pulled out his phone to check the time. Instead, he was entranced by the photo of you that covered the lockscreen of his phone. Jimin beamed at the sight of you, but his smile lowered along with his spirits once he realized how far you were from him.

.

Your entire body shook with excitement as you got off the plane, despite the exhaustion that you should feel after a fourteen hour plane ride. Instead, you felt high on anticipation. He had no idea you were coming and that made you even more anxious, but in the best way.

You still had no idea how you managed to book a flight on Christmas, but that didn’t matter because you were finally here. You looked up at the sign above you, which read Incheon International Airport.

Hoseok was your partner in this crime, even sending a taxi to the airport for you. He was the only one who knew you were coming and you hoped he was doing his job of keeping the secret.

You didn’t think you were going to be able to make it, work and family troubles getting in the way, but fate has its way of making things work. It had been three months since you had seen him and your body tingled with anticipation as you began to think of being able to see him, hear him, touch him, taste him, feel him again. You wanted more than anything to feel his embrace, his body pressed against yours—tightly. You wanted to hear his voice, smooth like butter; to see each and every freckle and perfect imperfection that covered his body; you wanted him.

Before you knew it, the taxi was parked and the driver was pulling your luggage out of the trunk.

.

He was doing his best to get into the spirit, he really was, but it wasn’t working out all that well. Everything he tried to do reminded him of you, so he found himself back of the sofa, where you used to be.

He heard a knock at the door and waited for someone else to get it—all the guys were running around, someone else could grab it. Except, no one did. After a few moments Jimin pushed himself up from the couch and made his way to the door, opening it without hesitation.

He was nowhere near prepared for the rush of emotions that hit him as he saw you standing in front of him, sparkling eyes, goofy smile, and all. Before he could give a reaction other than shock, you leaped into his arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck and clung to him like you hadn’t seen him in years. After a second, Jimin returned the favor and squeezed your waist and you could feel every emotion shared between the two of you: excitement, desire, love, and so much more.

This moment made every late phone call, every desperate moment away from each other, every painful second, worth it. It felt like the emptiness in your chest was being filled and you could finally breathe. Before you knew it, the tears were flowing and there was nothing you could do to stop them. You felt Jimin dig his fingers into your sides gently, as if he was afraid to let you go—like you might somehow disappear suddenly, or that you may not even really be there. Then you felt it, his stomach cave in, the tears hitting your shoulder, his body shaking as he wept in your arms. You attempted to grip his body tighter, as if it were even possible.

You eventually pulled away from his embrace and placed your hands on either side of his face, using your thumbs to wipe away his tears.

“Surprise…” you giggled quietly, sniffling. Jimin smiled widely at that and went for a kiss, pulling you back into his embrace. If his hug had been magical, his kiss felt other-wordly. You kissed him back with a passion that you didn’t know you had. He kissed you desperately, like he would never get a chance to feel your lips again.

When you pulled away, you looked behind Jimin and noticed all the boys had crowded around the two of you, clapping and taking photos. Hobi was in the middle of them, smiling like a proud mother with his hands placed neatly over his heart.

When Hobi noticed you looking over, he came over to the both of you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders. “Wow, oh my god, this is—this is too precious.”

You laughed and leaned into him, silently thanking him for all that he had done to help make this happen. Hoseok let go of the both of you and grabbed your luggage.

“Okay, okay, let’s leave them alone. They have a lot of catching up to do.” He said as he carried your luggage out of the room and shuffled the other members out of the room.

“Hyung, I wanted to say hi to her…Can I go say hi?” You heard Jungkook whine as he was nudged out of the room.

“Later, I’m sure they want to be alone right now,” Hoseok turned back and winked at the two of you before disappearing down the hall.

You both laughed and Jimin turned back to you, wrapping his arms firmly around your waist before lifting you up. You squealed and instinctively wrapped your legs around him, giggling as he carried you over to the couch and sat down on it, placing you on his lap, legs on either side of him.

You both stared at each other, amazed that you were back together.

“So… how?” Jimin asked, looking up at you as he tangled his fingers in your hair. “How did you get here?”

“Well, would you rather me not be here?” You asked and pretended to get up, but Jimin held you in place firmly.

“No, no! Of course I want you here! I just thought—you had said that—I didn’t think—” He stuttered, and you shushed him with a peck to the lips.

“Relax…I was just playing with you. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” You reassured him, cupping his face in your hand. “I didn’t think I would be able to make it either,” you continued. “A few days ago, things started to clear up at home and it looked like I would be able to make it, so I was talking to Hoseok about it and he helped me get here. We both owe him a big thank you,” you smiled warmly.

Jimin’s smile returned as he leaned into your touch, “God, I missed you…I didn’t know I could miss someone so much.”

“I missed you too,” you spoke into his neck, causing him to shrink away from you, breaking out into a giggle.

“That tickles!” He exclaimed.

You lifted your head from his neck, giggling along with him when you remembered the gift that you had brought him.

“Oh! Wait here.” You ordered as you jumped up from his lap, running to grab something from your luggage. You returned a few moments later, holding a gift behind your back. “So, it’s not much…but it is Christmas, so I got you something.” You stated, revealing the gift in your hands. He grinned and took the gift from your hands and you sat on the couch beside him.

“Can I open it?” He asked, looking to you for approval.

“Of course!” You replied, eagerly awaiting his reaction.

He pulled at the wrapping paper and opened the small box, revealing a set of couple bracelets, “Oh, babe...I love them. Thank you.” He beamed, leaning over to peck you on the lips before pulling the bracelets out of the box. You reached over to help him put his on, and he returned the favor.

“Do you really like them?” You asked, looking at the bracelets side by side.

“I love them, babe. I really do. I just… I don’t have a present for you yet, cause I didn’t think I’d be seeing you, so I feel bad…” Jimin sighed.

You smiled and pulled him over to cuddle into you. “That’s okay. Being with you is the best present I could’ve ever asked for.”

Jimin chuckled and laid his head on your chest, tightening his arms around your waist. “That was pretty cheesy.”

“Maybe, but it’s true.” You smiled, twisting tendrils of his around your index finger. “Besides, you can make it up to me this week. You still haven’t bought me that sushi you promised a few months ago.” You giggled.

“Ah, that’s right,” Jimin chuckled. “Okay, we’ll go get some sushi tomorrow and maybe even see a movie. How does that sound?”

“Perfect. As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.” You sighed in contentment, closing your eyes and taking in the moment.

If only it would stay like this forever, you thought to yourself.

[danasukontarak]

Dana’s Travel Diary: Desconectado En Cuba

I never thought I would visit Cuba. Not only was it absent from my mental wish list of countries to visit because of media portrayals and social common understandings in the U.S., I’d been so put off by the convoluted and ever-changing rules for traveling there. Is it okay? Is it banned? Do you need a tour guide? Jay-Z and Beyonce went. But am I Jay-Z or Beyonce? Will I be on a watch list once I return to the states? The most common question, the one my mom immediately asked when I told her of my intentions to visit Cuba: Is it safe? I still don’t have all the answers, but I will say that Cuba has been one of my favorite destinations of all time. I have experienced nothing quite like it - having visited Mexico, Puerto Rico, Canada, Thailand, Indonesia, and various U.S. cities from Los Angeles to Albuquerque to Miami.

I traveled to Cuba with three friends this month to celebrate my friend Kiara’s 28th birthday. The ability to travel to Cuba seemed like a window slowly being slammed by the Trump administration. Kiara’s affinity for Afro-Caribbean culture and immersive, awe-inspiring girls’ trips led us to the heart of Havana. We began planning four months earlier in May, and had no way to predict the messy bitch that was Hurricane Irma. Two days before departure, we had an awkward moment where we weren't sure if we'd have electricity or hot water and almost abandoned the whole plan. We went out on a shaky limb and are incredibly glad we did.

I know basic Spanish, and can speak slowly and in the most basic present tense pretty well, but I was worried about communicating with people speaking Cuban Spanish, which seemed faster and somehow more flavorful. Everyone I spoke with was helpful and not at all impatient with my broken, basic Spanish.

We expected not to have cellular service in Cuba, and because my friend Krystal and I arrived a day after Kiara and Traci, it was impossible to communicate about pertinent things (like Krystal's delayed flight, or the fact that our flights arrived in two different, non-walkable terminals of Havana’s international airport). Our hosts and neighbors were some of the most amazing people. They treated us as family from the very beginning, and looking back, we would have struggled immensely without their help. Our hosts sent a driver to pick us up from the airport, and because it wasn’t as busy or populated as in other big cities since Cuban residents can’t travel easily and tourism has restrictions, Krystal was able to find me instantly upon pullup.

Cuba has two currencies, the regular peso (CUP) and the convertible peso (CUC), which replaced the American dollar some years ago and is used by tourists. We noticed that in many places, prices are posted only in CUC, which we came to realize was the case for a few reasons. Cubans, on average, make the equivalent of 30 CUC monthly. They receive rations of things like rice, beans and eggs, which accounts for about half their monthly food. Their healthcare, education and other things are free or very cheap, and they live very humbly for the most part. 30 CUC is nothing by American standards, but Cubans hardly live by American standards. For context, one beer costs 2 CUC. For tourist context, someone sold us a beach towel for 20 CUC, before we realized that was way too high. Most Cuban natives don’t patronize the restaurants, cafes, and food and merchandise stands at the beach. The vendors rely heavily on tourist money. It goes a long way for them. When in Cuba, I was consistently torn between being frugal and taking advantage of a haggle-friendly setup, and showering convertible pesos upon the residents of a country that is economically suffering largely at the hands of the country I hail from. The historical context of U.S.-Cuba relations are what made me a little uneasy about the trip in general, but also what made me so humbled and thankful for everyone’s kindness and hospitality. I understand Cuba’s need for tourism, which translates into the amazing customer service they provide, but beyond any historical context, their warmth felt so genuine. It’s legitimately insane how we are told both outright and subliminally that it is wrong to support the people of Cuba. You don’t even think about the potential absurdity of it all until you meet some of these people, and see how they live and seem to treat everyone as family. The U.S. has imposed embargos on Cuba until they make strides towards “better human rights,” but effectively violate human rights in the process. The politics of it all makes my head and heart hurt. The government doesn’t care that human rights are disrespected, it cares that it’s disrespect is not U.S.-controlled. That’s just my opinion, based on my particular vantage point. I’m sure there’s much more I don’t see, as is the case with everything.

In Cuba, there’s no such thing as personal Wifi. For 21 to 22 hours of the day, we were descontectado from el mundo. Cuba has Wifi in parks, and you’ll see hoards of silently scrolling people sitting on park benches. You have to connect through a Wifi card, which costs 2 or 3 CUC for one hour. Limited Wifi time as a group definitely kept us all in sync and wide awake to the organic experience.

Aside from our neighborhood in Playa Miramar, the two main places we visited were Santa Maria and Viñales. The beach at Santa Maria was about 40 minutes away. Our driver was Misael, the absolute sweetest guy who was patient and helpful and waited by the car while we tanned and frolicked. The water was warm, calm, and a beautiful shade of blue. At the beach, we instantly got the attention of two to three different groups of young guys which became a big party of Spanglish,Tupac songs and Polaroids. Two guys became our unofficial tour guides, helping us get cheap taxis and cheap fried chicken and bought Kiara a very moist 10 CUC cappuccino birthday cake. Another guy, who’d just turned 17, added me on Facebook and told me he loved me en español. Cuban men are very forward and friendly (and often described as dramatic in romance) - you can read a funny and interesting blog about it here:  https://hownottotravellikeabasicbitch.com/2017/08/06/8-things-you-need-to-know-before-dating-a-cuban-papi-and-ruining-your-life/.

When we asked where the trash can was, the guys laughed. They told us to just drop it on the ground. We found this weird, but then they explained that everyone litters, and the Cuban government pays people to clean it up. The guys also questioned our casual use of curse words, and mocked us with a surfer dude accent, saying “Damn.”

Viñales was the best part of the trip. It was about two hours away from our casa, and we passed through a more countryside area than we’d seen in Havana. The first place we visited was Cueva del Indio, where we drank fresh sugarcane juice cocktails before taking a motorboat through a huge cave with water flowing through. From there, we drove to an intersection where an old papi was waiting under the trees for us with four horses. He kissed us, helped us up, and we rode off without a single word of warning. It was the best experience of the trip. We rode up a hill to a tobacco farm where we sampled amazing Cuban rum and cigars, and bought coffee beans. The tour guide, Hermes, rolled a cigar for us and also gave us free baby bananas. On the way back, we rode our horses through a small body of water, which is a lot scarier looking back than it was actually going through it. We had a late lunch at a small restaurant nearby with Misael. When we told the waitress it was Kiara’s birthday, she instantly poured up a massive shot for her. The food was delicious. We had an array of lobster, red snapper, and ropas viejas, a traditional Cuban dish of shredded beef.

Cuba was a beautiful place, but the trip was made ten thousand times better by the people we met. Until 1997, Cuban contact with tourists was outlawed. I’ve read that even today, Cubans seen in contact with tourists are asked for their identification, which may explain why we were stopped by the policia twice while driving. Traveling to Cuba was much less difficult than I think we are made to believe, and I recommend it for anyone who truly wants the experience of a different and unique culture where a certain type of lifestyle and set of values has been preserved in the face of adversity. Foreign relations are complex, but on a very simple level, a human is a human no matter the particular piece of Earth they inhabit. The connections we made in Cuba are what made this trip truly unforgettable.