#i just cant stand it when they insist that other people are Bad for not aligning with their opinion created out of cobwebs and dreams

[lathrine]

> open twitter for four seconds > two dozen notifs > oh no > its the toh thread

[holds head in hands] WHEN AM I ALLOWED TO BE FREE

[agaypanic]

Regina's Barbie (Regina George X Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: You’re Regina George’s latest project, but her reasoning for fixing you up is completely different than what you think.

A/N: a little drabble based on this ask that i answered a couple days ago bc it keeps getting interaction and lowkey i cant stop thinking about the concept ugh

***

“Hold still.” Regina scolded for what felt like the hundredth time, hand holding your jaw firmly to keep you in place while she put blush on your cheeks.

“Sorry.” You whispered, looking at the wall behind her so you didn’t have to face her intense gaze.

When Regina approached you one day, twirling her perfect blonde hair around her finger as she asked you if you wanted to hang out, you thought it was a prank. It had to have been, because there was no other reason why Regina George would even consider getting close to a ‘nobody’ like you. But when you stuttered out a response, her grin seemed genuine when telling you to meet you at her car after school. Sure enough, she was sitting in her car with the rest of the Plastics, beckoning you to come over and sit in the seat behind her.

Gretchen and Karen seemed to be a bit confused by your presence but didn’t question Regina. They welcomed you, but didn’t go out of their way to make conversation with you while Regina drove to the mall.

When she parked, Regina basically pulled you into shops by the arm, her friends rushing behind you. She thrusted some sweater into your hands, telling you that you just had to try it on. And when you tried telling her you couldn’t afford it, she rolled her eyes, took a credit card out of her purse, and dragged you to a fitting room.

And now you were here, perched on Regina’s bed while she did your makeup. She had insisted that the way you did it was all wrong and that you needed to know the proper way to do it. Gretchen and Karen weren’t here, which surprised you a bit. But you knew better than to question Regina.

“Okay, now you need lipgloss,” Regina said, looking through some of the glosses she had bought you. She opened one and looked at you. “Pucker up.”

You gulped at the demand, but did as she said. Regina grabbed your jaw again, a bit more gently this time, as she swiped the wand over your lips. She bit her lip in concentration as she stared at your mouth.

“Perfect.” She muttered, capping the gloss and taking you to one of her many mirrors.

You hardly recognized yourself, but Regina definitely didn’t do a bad job. She smiled at you through the mirror.

“What do you think?” She asked, leaning her head against yours a bit.

“I look…” It was hard to find an end to your sentence with the way Regina looked at you, like you were a piece of meat. “Pretty.”

“Hell yeah, you do.” She fiddled with your hair, trying to put it in a style she thought would be more suitable. “Oh my god, I totally forgot. We’re going to a party later, so we gotta find something for you to wear.”

“What?” You were a bit taken aback, not expecting to go to a party tonight. Especially with Regina. “Couldn’t I just wear this?”

Regina laughed, and it didn’t seem like that fake, almost mocking laugh she’d do when people tried to be funny with her. It sounded genuine, like she was actually amused by your question.

“No way, Y/n! Wait here, I think I have something you can wear.” She sped into her closet, leaving you to stand awkwardly in her room. Luckily, she came back quickly with a two-piece outfit. Regina went behind you, hands holding the clothes up to your body. “You’d look so good in this. Besides, it’s better than, like, anything you own.”

She kissed your cheek before sending you off to the bathroom to change. It was so quick that you barely registered what had happened until you were already switching your clothes for hers. You caught sight of yourself in the mirror, seeing a faint lip print on your cheekbone. You decided to leave it, not wanting Regina to get mad at you for messing up the makeup she spent practically forever putting on you.

When you left the bathroom, Regina was fixing up her lipstick in the mirror. She turned to you and smiled a bit, straightening up a bit.

“See, I told you you’d look good.” She took your clothes, throwing them on the bed, before noticing the mark she left on you. Regina stepped closer to see it better, soon looking at you with the same hungry look from before. “Keep that, it’s hot.” Then she walked away to change her shoes.

You took a deep breath. This was gonna be a long night.

***

Part 2

[potatobugxo]

Hey so ive been having a rough day as I was yelled at by customersn at my retail job, can i get Angelperhaps seeing his genderneutral s/o getting yelled at by an unruly hotel guest and standing up for them and possibly comforting them? If you cant i totally understand, thanks ❤️

yes of course!!! i work in retail too people are so stupid fr... take care of yourself ok?? love you very much <33 warnings: reader gets yelled at, swearing, hurt to comfort

"a-ah, my bad..." angel perks up as he hears you apologize to someone across the room. the hotel had grown more lively with guests and sinners, and handling guests' purchases was your designated job. you were crouched on the floor, scooping up a tray of food you had dropped.

"what the hell? can't even get decent service at a place like this," the guest, a demon much taller than you grumbled, hands on his hips as he watched you scramble to pick up what was presumed to be his meal. "i am really sorry," you stand back up, tray in hand, and angel's hair standing on end when he realizes how shaky your hands are. "i-i can get a replacement for it right away-" "don't need a fuckin' replacement!" the sinner barks in your face, slapping the tray out of your hands and making you wince. "need you to do your fuckin' job right! they not payin' you enough, huh? think you can just waste shit like this!" "hey, asshole!" you and the sinner both turn to see angel dust marching toward you, his pink pupils glowing an angry shade of magenta. "listen up, fucker, they're doin' their best," angel jabs a finger into the sinner's chest, causing the demon to scowl at him. you shift anxiously on your feet behind angel, swiping the tears that had been forming in your eyes away with your arm. "so what if they dropped a tray? it's just some fuckin' food, not like they took a shit in it and served it to you," angel sneered. "if you lookin' to redeem yourself this ain't how you treat other people. so apologize or get the fuck outta here!" "fuck you!" the sinner snaps back, unable to come up with further retaliation before storming out of the lobby. angel glares at him as he departs, and only turns to you once the sinner slams the hotel doors shut. "angel, you didn't have to do that," you insist, voice hushed. angel places his four hands on your arms and smiles at you. "toots, you can't be takin' shit like that, okay?" he assures in a gentle tone. "i'm just tired," you inform him. "i'm not used to so many guests being here... looks like they all don't listen when charlie says to be polite to others." "that's for fuckin' sure," angel spits in the direction the sinner had fled in. "hey, don't beat yourself up about it, alright? i'll help you clean up this mess." he gestures toward the tray and scattered food that has stained the carpet. "okay," you sniffle a bit. "anyone else been treatin' you like that mothafucka?" angel inquires, cocking an eyebrow. you shake your head. "good. cuz i'd really hate to backslide on this redemption bullshit by shootin' some lowlife scumbag." you giggle at his remark and he grins, pulling you in for a four-armed hug.

[l0vem41l]

heart for brains.

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, hurt/comfort-esque but not really, fluff (?) sensitive reader who loooves being tough, a few pet names are used (darling, lovely���) but sparingly because i can never take things seriously 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic </3 」

↳ ft. asra alnazar, julian devorak, lucio morgasson, muriel of the kokhuri, nadia satrinava, portia devorak

author's note: less of the “One Bad Thing happened and it fucking destroyed me” type of sensitive even though that’s so real and valid and more of the "big emotions are slowly killing me always" type. sorry if they're slightly ooc! i'm playing the game again,,,, eventually :> need to get their dialogue right AWIOFJWRIHFW (┬┬﹏┬┬) more lighthearted in lucio’s part (cant stand this bitch!!!!! /affectionate), and unfortunately nadia’s and portia’s are criminally short (；′⌒`)........ i love them i just haven’t played their routes also also!!!! used some borders from @cafekitsune in this!! lmk if it makes things easier to read cuz i might keep it! (☆-ｖ-)

" life's hard when you're soft. "

▸ ASRA has grown the most familiar with your routine. you’re not quite fragile, as he’s come to discover— just that you tend to swallow your emotions down with a smile, only for them to rise back up at the slightest inconvenience. in a few moments— as predicted— the tears stinging in your eyes finally begin slipping.

he gently cups your face, even as you attempt to hide away and avert your gaze, drying your cheeks with his fingers. you swear to him, through mumbles and sobs that you’re trying to toughen up— you’re really trying— while insisting there’s no reason for you to be upset about your little predicament while you choke back the sob rising in your throat. they know you too well for those feeble attempts to convince them.

“shhh… it’s alright. it’s alright.” asra’s voice is understanding. patient. they wouldn’t care if you were crying over the smallest matter in the universe right now. all their focus is on calming you down.

while asra believes and insists that your capacity for strong emotions is a blessing and not a curse like you tend to think, he does wish that your tenderness would not be so abused by the world around you. at the end of the day, he reminds you that you’ve got his love— that he’ll always be there to wipe your tears away— but will always secretly wonder to himself about why you continue to be so recklessly kind.

even so, you’re never to blame for your big heart in their eyes. and slowly, everything they do to make the world a better place is in hope that one day, the world will be sweeter to you.

▸ JULIAN does quietly and internally freak out when he first sees you cry— not because he doesn’t know what to do, but rather because he hadn’t expected seeing you, out of all people, like this. you— the person who always seemed to find something to be happy about instead of dwelling on your misery. you— who frequently brushed off inconveniences and upsetting circumstances with little to no thought. you— who always bounced back, always saw it through.

oh, but he could never be upset with you for crying. not at all.

he knows he can’t just leave you sobbing your eyes out. so, with the sensibility that he has, he gently guides you to a quiet place for you and allows you to lean against him. he’ll attempt to talk you through it, even if you don’t feel like speaking, hoping that the one-sided conversation of his ramblings will at least distract you, if not soothe you.

your head to his chest, he takes one of your hands in his, while the other gently grips your hip. tells you how brave and strong you are— even if you don’t seem particularly inclined to believe him at the moment, shooting a small glare at him through watery eyes as he says these things.

“i wasn’t patronizing you,” he says, eyebrows raising slightly as your shoulders tense, “i mean it.”

you take a deep breath, gauging the sincerity of his words, before finally relaxing.

“‘m sorry… it’s stupid— i know it is. you shouldn’t have to do this.” you sniffle.

for a moment, julian only shakes his head in response, his thumb caressing the top of your hand as he squeezes it. “but darling, i want to.”

while he’s not as attuned with your emotions as asra, julian is good at getting you to calm down. will definitely do a few breathing exercises with you to help you ground yourself, in between his affirmations and reassurances.

▸ is it really all that surprising that LUCIO is completely clueless? in his eyes, everything was going completely fine for you two seconds ago— or so it seemed. here he was, just coming by to check on you, only to watch you crumple into yourself, hiding your face in your hands as you muttered a half-hearted “go away.”

he’s too stubborn to listen to that. besides, even he knows he’d be a massive asshole if he just left you like this. instead, lucio sits right next to you, shoulder pressed up to yours, and asks about what happened. perhaps pester is a better word.

while not intentionally rude, he’s slightly dismissive of the situation at first, wondering why in the world something so trivial would matter so much to you. it takes a second, but lucio backpedals on this immediately when he realizes you're not calming down, you're getting worse. your breathing grows quicker and more tears spill— you don’t even reply to him. oopsies. silent comfort it is.

he’s not completely useless. instead of using words, he’ll put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, allowing you to cry it out for as long as you need. part of you wants to question when he gained the capacity to shut up— but you don’t feel the need to be particularly snarky at the moment. he’s trying his best to be sweet to you.

will be more attentive for the days after, assuring you that you needn’t give into the urge to “toughen up” when he’s around.

“stay soft, i can fight.” he grins, giving you a wink that makes you roll your eyes at him almost instinctively.

still, the tiny laugh that escapes your lips ends up betraying any sort of exasperation you meant to convey as you playfully hit his bicep as you tell him to quit. was his tone light hearted? yes. was he kidding? of course not. 

▸ there’s a moment where your lip quivers and your eyes water up that makes MURIEL feel like he’s looking into a reflection of himself somehow. his heart sinks completely at the sight of you breaking down, as he searches for the right thing to say.

he’s flooded with relief when you make an attempt to speak first, even if it’s just you stumbling over your words to lie directly to his face.

you take in a shaky breath, awkwardly shrinking yourself away by crossing your arms. “it’s fine, it doesn’t matter—”

“it matters to me.” he replies softly.

muriel is much better at listening than he is at speaking in these situations, so he allows you to vent all you need as you cry. you feel these emotions so deeply, so strongly— he wonders how you managed for so long concealing these feelings.

“yeah… i get it.” he murmurs, nodding when you rant. to his horror, the tone comes out much more blunt than intended— almost sarcastic— but you know that he understands the minute you look into his eyes. he’s nothing but honest.

after a moment of silence, he asks what you need. you don’t verbalize, instead opting for awkwardly gesture with open arms, half expecting him to hesitate at your request. instead, much to your surprise and his he simply brings you close and sets you on his lap. holding you in his arms like he’s afraid you might break if he tightens the embrace any further, muriel hugs you like you’re the most precious thing in the universe.

leans more on acts of service as a form of comfort as well. will bring you water, blankets— will even brave the market to buy you your favorite snack. anything for you.

▸ NADIA’s first attempt is to deal with it logically. initially, she asks you a lot of questions, asks what she can do better— but ceases the minute you struggle to respond, only shaking your head while the words incoherently fall from your lips between sobs.

she sighs, realizing her short-comings. now isn’t the time for problem solving. you need comfort. “forgive me, lovely. i didn’t mean to upset you further.”

LUCIO TAKE FUCKING NOTES.

her embrace is loving. it almost feels like she’s trying to shield you from the world and it’s harshness towards you. nadia plants a kiss to your temple before allowing you to rest your head on her shoulder. as you stay in her arms, she rubs your back, promising that everything will be alright.

she’ll make sure of it too. will 100% throw a sharp glare at anyone who accidentally intrudes on this moment.

▸ it’s almost instinctual, the way PORTIA responds. you haven’t said a thing, yet she notes the way your hands begin trembling, eyes brimming with tears. she immediately gets protective, asking which idiot made you feel so upset with full intention to beat their ass if she ever crossed paths with them— but questions no further when you don’t reply.

physically affectionate as ever, with your permission, portia kisses your tears away, pressing her lips to your face sweetly as she cradles it in her hands.

will not baby you for being sensitive, but will grow more defensive of you. of course she knows you can handle yourself like you keep on reminding, but you’ve been doing it for so long. too long. shows you that she’s right there to support you no matter what, always on your side.

" you've got our love "

— reblogs always appreciated!

[onmyknees4loak]

Teach me

Lo'ak x Reader

Warnings: (Lowkey stalker and sub lo'ak) Synopsis : (Lo'ak cant seem to take his eyes off of the girl who teaches his nephew.)

Playlist I listened to while making this

Reader's POV

"Good job muffin!!" Pxe'pe one of my youngest students finally gets her threading right. She runs off to show her mother.

I'm what Jake calls a babysitter but I like to think of myself as a teacher I mean that is what I do, people leave there kids with me while they attend to there duties and I teach them things like threading, scavenging, and even healing.

"miss miss miss" i hear a small voice from behind me and feel small hands on my leg, i turn around to be met with Kame'xar, one of my little ones.

"yes what do you need sweetie" i crouch down to be at his level

"i cut my finger" a little sob comes out as he holds his hand up, i see a small bright red cut nothing to serious but still it must hurt.

"oh no sweetie come on lets go fix that up for you" i extend my arms and pick him up, i start heading to the healing tent. i look down at his finger and as im looking away from in front of me i bump into a tall stiff figure. "Oh my eywa! I am so sorry" the figure turns around, i began to panic even more. The figure is Kame'xar's uncle.

"oh my goodness Lo'ak I apologize" i say hoping he wont notice the cut on his nephew's hand.

"oh no worries ...." he pauses trying to remember my name.

"y/n my name is y/n" i tell him.

"y/n... That's a beautiful name....Oh my god Kame'xar i didn't even notice you what's up bro, have you been crying what happened?"

He looks at me wondering what happened to his nephew,

"he cut his finger we were on the way to the healing tent to fix him up."

"oh well please let me walk you there its the least i can do" Lo'ak insists.

"I mean it is only right there but sure" we began walking to the tent which is already in sight.

Once we walk into the tent i set Kame'xar down on the floor and lower to my knees to grab the healing paste. I take his hand and gently rub the paste over his cut.

Kame'xar giggles "its c-cold!" he says in a fit of giggles.

"it is isn't it" i say laughing with him.

I can feel Lo'aks watching my every move. I stand up and turn around to Lo'ak.

"Well i should be getting Kame'xar back now." I feel Kame'xar put his now healed hand in mine and start pulling me to the opening of the tent.

"Thank you y/n, bye Kame'xar ill see you at dinner" lo'ak says waiting for us to leave.

"Bye" me and Kame'xar say at the same time.

As were walking I can't help but to keep thinking about Lo'ak everyone says he,s a bad influence and all he does is get in trouble but he seems so sweet and caring- ok y/n snap out of it he didn't even know your name and you got more important things to worry about.

Lo'ak's POV

'y/n.....y/n how have i never seen her around surly i would have noticed someone that beautiful. She's so different there's just something soothing and pleasant about her.

I walk out of the healing tent and start heading to our family tent,

Oh eywa i can't get that beautiful women out of my head. I need to see her again. I change my direction and start heading to where i know neteyam drops Kame'xar off every day. As i get closer i can hear the sound of children laughing getting louder, shes so good with kids. I hope to make her laugh like that one day.

I see my girl with kids running around her, there playing a game. I keep my distance and sit on a log where others are sitting and eating fruit.

I just sit there and watch her teach and play with the kids for hours. I turn away any time she looks in my direction hoping she doesn't realize that ive been sitting here for hours.

She would never want a guy like me an outcast.

Reader's POV

I finish putting up all the kids threading projects keeping them safe for tomorrow.

"Good Bye Vaylen! I'll see you tomorrow" now all the kids have gone home for the night, and i can start heading home. i turn around to start walking in the direction of my tent when i see Lo'ak sitting looking at me when he realizes I'm looking at him he turns his head the other way. Now that i think about it he has been sitting there since i got back from the healing tent.

'Should i go talk to him?' i ask myself 'I should.'

I start walking over to him with a smile on my face, he notices me coming over and i can see his body tense up.

"Hey Lo'ak what are you doing here?" i come to a stop in front of him.

"Oh i w-was ju-just uh chillin yk" he stutters over his words.

'my god, he's so cute, i want him stuttering over his words while i ride him' omg! what the fuck is wrong with me why would i think that.

I think he could tell i just got surprised with myself.

'y/n? Are you okay?" he asks as he stands up getting closer to me.

I can feel the tension in the air as his face is suddenly a few inches from mine.

"Yeah im good" i see his eyes move down to my lips as he licks his own.

He leans in intel our lips meet and he begins kissing me, i kiss back and start getting a little more aggressive i bring my hand to the back of his head and put my fingers through his hair lightly pulling.

"mMm" Lo'ak lets out a whimper/moan.

I pull away and bring my hand down " i cant do this Lo'ak im sorry" i look down to my feet.

"Why not baby?" he asks pushing hair behind my ear.

"What would people think if they found out, im not trying to be mean but your kinda know as a bad boy yk, and i dont want people to not trust me with there kids im sorry"

I turn around to leave and i feel him grab my hand and pull me back.

"Then Teach me, teach me how to be a good boy"

[kindlyre]

thinking more v3 thoughts. it wouldve been REALLY interesting if kaede didnt die in trial 1 and lived so she and shuichi could be foils to kokichi and rantaro, which would be interesting bc the main character always has a partner, but the rival never has. and the difference in ideology could split the group, but as it stands now the v3 cast treats kokichi worse than tbe sdr2 cast treated komaeda, and komadea was a THREAT since the beginning. for the most part, all kokichi did was lie a lot and be rude, so this animosity kind of feels undeserved. like, hajime had a lot more patience for komaeda's shit than shuchi does for kokichi's. so his interactions w the rest of the v3s seems kind of... underhanded and rude. they accepted an assassin into their group but not him, is all im saying.

and it just feels kind of undeserved until chapter 4 where kokichi goes off the deep end. like, before that, he DOES talk about liking the killing game and all, and is insensetive, but he by his own admission a LIAR- why do all the v3s assume the bad things he says are the truth? hell in chapter 2 he spells out MULTIPLE TIMES what his end goal is and what he's doing (trying to caution people from overtly working together because when they do, monokuma punishes them for it, so they shouldnt let on that theyre cooperating) and no one listens?? at all. like its just so blatant because ive been playing sdr2 and v3 side by side, alternating between the two frequently. try it-! the dissonance between how the v3 cast treats kokichi and the sdr2 cast treats komadea is VERY apparent. like sure they tie him up and arent NICEYS to him, but hajime makes a genuine effort to try and understand komaeda, especially in FTEs. shuichi does not extend that same effort to kokichi and imho thats really lackluster writing for the ultimate detective

it just seems like they were going for an ideology clash in v3 but in practice, kokichi is ostracized VERY early on for the crime of Being Annoying, and because of that is placed under a lot of undue scrutiny, with absolutely no one bothering to TRY to understand him. and this happens because he has no genuine foil for his ideology, so theres no ideological conflict, so the writers had to manufacture one by having everyone focus on his (largely just mischevious and at worst annoying) lies and repeat "but all lies are bad!!" unfixingly w/o trying to understand him. which is not really an ideological conflict, it's... kind of childish and they- esp shuichi as the ultimate DETECTIVE- never try to understand kokichi's pov and don't interact with kokichi's TRUE ideological opposition- that they can't trust each other. and kaede and him couldve been great foils in that regard, having the opposite ideological approach to the killing game, but kaede was fridged early on for a male character's development. so thats fine too i guess.

and shuichi and rantaro couldve been foils as well, both leaning hard into detective work but having opposite ideas on what to do with their respective findings- do they trust the group, or not?

also this is just a "hey this would be imo cool" aside, but if it was a kokichi/rantaro pairup.... IMAGINE THE 4TH TRIAL. imagine if it was ambiguous if rantaro was manipulated into killing miu or if it was a willing sacrifice. rantaro doesn't remember, but he admits before execution that, knowing himself, he feels like it was a willing sacrifice on his end, while kokichi insists he manipulated rantaro into it and that he's the true blackened. and we cant see rantaro's memories, so we don't know. and it could be a really tragic trial a la peko's, which would finally allow the cast to know more about rantaro and his true feelings on everyone and the game, in his final moments.

also the sting of the ultimate survivor reveal being so so close by, the tragedy of rantaro surviving a DIFFERENT KILLING GAME only to die in this one, so close to the end... and the implication that he survived his last game by being detached and secretive, only to die because of a connection he had with someone. but thats less meta analysis and more me going "goddamn wouldnt that be fucked up or what. anyway im tumblr user kinderlie"

[yrthr]

☾ ROSES ; ZHANGHAO

zhanghao masterlist / zb1 masterlist ; wc 0.752k

➛ genre / trope ; fake dating 🎧 — hi ! rlly happy that you enjoy my writing , tried fake dating for this one hopefully its up to standards.

“ see your tomorrow hao and remember i like roses. “

“ yeah i know that see you. “

as usual both you and zhanghao walked in opposite directions heading back towards your homes after a long day of school.

your relationship with zhanghao was… complicated to say the least.

it started a while ago when you wanted to get away from a guy who would not take rejection as an answer and zhanghao.. didn’t reveal why he wanted to do it , he just offered.

the rules were simple , fake date in public and as soon as the respective people were out of sight it was back to being friends.

although fake dating zhanghao wasn’t so bad.

the way he’d be ever so gentle , holding your waist to slightly nudge you closer to him.

or the way he’d remember the smallest detail you told him a while back , if it was food or an item he’d show up to school the next day with it.

and the way he’d stare at you with those lovey-dovey sparkly eyes and his subconscious pouting.

slowly and slowly , you felt yourself genuinely falling for him.

the heart pumping , the warmth that you felt in your face , the sweaty palms , the stuttering , it was all starting to feel a bit too real.

fuck.

tomorrow was valentines day and of course zhanghao suggested he bought you your favourite flowers which you declined at first but he insisted.

“ its to sell the act dear. “

he loved calling you nicknames even in private.

valentines day came rolling around and you walked into class , seeing zhanghao already leaned up against the wall next to your table. your classmates standing at random parts of the classroom watching in anticipation.

zhanghao skipped up to you with a big smile on his face. his hands that were previously hid behind his back were now holding out five roses.

“ happy valentines day dear. “

he said , his ears turning a shade of red.

you chuckled taking the roses from him , “ thank you dear. “

your classmates erupted into a surge of ‘ aws ‘ and squeals as both you and zhanghao stood there staring at each other shyly , with your blushes becoming more eminent.

that day was probably one of the best days of your life.

sitting with zhanghao , giggling and sharing shy glances , holding hands with his thumb affectionately caressing your hand , sharing lunches and snacks.

you relished in the feeling of being loved , even if it was fake.

after school ended you and zhanghao reached the intersection where you both would part ways yet again.

“ could i walk you home today ? “

zhanghao asked looking at your with hopeful eyes.

“ why ? is someone still around ? “

“ just.. felt like it today. “

“ alright loverboy. “

the walk to your house was in a comfortable silence , holding hands with the occasional words being said.

“ we’re here. “

you announced facing him.

zhanghao looked down at you slightly biting his lip before opening his mouth to speak.

“ i can’t do this anymore. “

you were taken aback , what did he mean by that ?

“ so you want to end things ? “

“ wait what , no ! wait sorry i think that came out in a bad way. i meant to say that i cant stop faking everything anymore, its killing me. “

he opened his backpack and reached into it pulling out a singular red rose.

“ there was a reason why i offered to help you just that i was too scared to say why or do anything about it while we were fake dating. but i hope with this rose you’d understand why. so im asking you , would you like to go out with me ? for real this time. “

you looked at the rose he held out to you.

you scoffed with a small smile forming , “ of course i would. “

zhanghao beamed , a big smile forming on his face. he placed the rose delicately in your hair , carefully tucking peaces of it out of the way.

“ see you tomorrow dear. “

“ yeah see you too , dear. “

zhanghao walked away from your house with an uncontrollable smile that he constantly had to hide from passer-by’s , finally he got his confession out and best of all you said yes.

he couldn’t be more happy.

that day you went back to your apartment , rethinking zhanghaos confession.

‘ but i hope with this rose you’d understand why.’

pulling out your phone you typed into the google search bar ‘ what does a singular rose mean. ‘

the small grey box poped up with the words love at first sight.

divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

©️ yrthr 2023

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I saw a recent vid about Kataang vs Zvtara, and yet again the comments are filled with 'lmaooo dumb ship wars, why cant we all just get along'

its so annoying. Not to say there aren't any rotten Kataang shippers out there, but for YEARS Zvtarians yap a lot about how bad Kataang is and spreading false rhetorics about that ship AND Aang. Its been years and we still can't talk about LOK without someone bringing up how Aang is an abusive husband/father or whatever. I'm not even a huge fan of either Kataang or Aang and even I feel frustrated.

Ship wars are annoying. I 100% agree. But sometimes, you have to be kind of feisty back in order to make your own fandom experience bearable. You can't be 'ship and let ship' when other shippers constany bash your ships to the point where you can't enjoy your fandom. I'm speaking from experience here- as someone who stans overhated characters, things become WAY more bearable for me when other fans had enough and snap back from haters who INSIST their opinions are correct to the point where you can't go ANYWHERE without seeing your fave being bashed. Once other stans fight back they finally shut up a bit and other people realise their arguments had always been kind of dumb, and FINALLY we can get some actual peace.

Ship wars are dumb, fiction isn't all that serious, but human behavior is real and IMO Kataang shippers shutting up Zvtarians shit opinions on their ship and Aang is the right source of action because they deserve to have a good fandom experience that Zvtarians had robbed them off for years now. I don't see how its any different than someone finally standing up to themselves to stop their bullies from hackling them. You can't ignore when your haters refuse to ignore YOU.

EXACTLY!

[urszn]

❨ POPSTAR GF ❩ — park sunghoon

CHAP ll. “runaway popstar” written + smau

warnings: anxiety attack, cursing duh, if i missed anything pls let me know! (not proofread)

word count: 892

SUNGHOON wasn’t the type of guy to go out on a sunday night, he knew he wasn't going to be happy waking up early in the morning rushing to get to his lectures at six and then going straight to the ice rink to practice

but he still went with his friends even though he insisted he needed to finish his essay that wasn’t due until next week

heeseung had been working hard perfecting her album, and sunghoon felt bad saying no to his friend especially since it was heeseung and he knew that if he needed something he could count on heeseung to come to the rescue

jake was also spamming his phone begging him to go with them and he couldn’t decline.

“holy shit guys” jungwon says jumping up and down with excitement as we entered the vip section, i look around seeing people with their lightsticks, chatting to eachother with big smiles on their faces

heeseung glanced over at me and nudged my shoulder “thought you were busy” i rolled my eyes “thank you for inviting me hee”

“wait! we get to meet y/n right?!” sunoo asked, we all look over at heeseung as he shrugs his shoulders “who knows” was all he said with a slight smirk on his face

suddenly everyone seemed to be quiet, some people whispering to their friends while pointing over at the entrance where three people were standing at

“oh my god” jake squeezed my arm “i love hyunjin, wonyoung and jisung” “they’re coming over here, never thought i’d be this close to them” jake rambled on

i glanced over at them as they walked our way, they were all dressed up in designer clothes and seemed to be accompanied by another person

he seemed to be dressed…less extravagant than the others, yet he still looked better than whatever i was wearing, he had a black mask and hat covering his face, maybe he was a body guard or something like that?

as the venue filled up with many more people, i looked over at heeseung who was by my side

he was now talking to hyunjin

“when did he go over there,” i asked jungwon who was on my left side “he got called over there by hyunjin not that long ago, i think you zoned out” he continued “you were staring at them when heeseung went over there, i think you should quit staring, they might think you’re a little creepy” i slowly nod

a couple of minutes pass by and heeseung is still talking to them, “hoon, is that you’re phone ringing?” i look at my pocket seeing the contact name chaeyeon

holy… “shit i forgot to tell her that i cant hangout with her today”

“wait i need to answer her but it’s loud i’ll be back okay?” i tell the guys “she’s about to start though!” jake says “i’ll be back i just need to answer her real quick, i’ll be back i promise” “go quickly”

i quickly pass by people to the exit nearby and call chaeyeon back

“where are you?! it sounds loud” was all i could hear her say, i plug my other ear so i could hear her better, yet it was still loud “wait i’m trying to get somewhere quieter!”

“hoon?” she says “wait-“ suddenly my phone was on ground broken “watch where you’re-“ oh…

“i’m so sorry! i’ll pay for it!” the girl says leaning down to grab my now broken phone, her hands seemed to be shaking “it’s okay” i say panicky finally realizing who she was

she was meant to be on stage right now, performing, but she was here with me outside her own concert, crying

“are you okay?” was all i could ask — i know, i know what a stupid question to ask, but i didn’t know what else to say “hey aren’t you supposed to be on stage and not out here crying”

“yeah, yeah i’m so so sorry, really i’ll pay for it” she says looking down, her voice seemed normal but i could tell she was trying to hold back her tears “you don’t have too” i replied back

i scan over the area and my eyes land on a bench nearby, “hey how about we sit down, okay?” i say as she nodded

“do you need water or anything?” i asked “n-no” she said before finally breaking down into tears and all i could was comfort her

“it’s okay” i reassured her “i-i just saw someone and-“ she stops for a bit trying to catch her breath “i-i panicked!” “i..i don’t know why i’m crying”

she then “oh my god my manager will be so mad” “and my fan” “and friends” she panics, crying even harder now “hey it’s okay, they’ll understand” i say before hugging her

and that’s how we stayed for a bit

“how about you go home, i bet you that everyone will understand” i whisper quietly but loud enough for her to hear “you don’t understand, everyone is going to hate me!” she tells me

“c’mon, i’ll walk you there, and i’ll explain everything to them you don’t even have to talk, okay?” she slowly nods

i stand up reaching my hand out for her grab and she looks at my hand hesitantly before grabbing onto my hand.

back to masterlist! - previous - next

(📰) TOP NEWS ! after sunghoon gets forced to go with his friends to a concert he ends up bumping into a crying y/n aka the person who was supposed to be on stage performing, not knowing what to do he hugs her out of pity trying his best to comfort her, perhaps he shouldn’t have? because the next day he wakes up to one million followers on twitter and instagram and a text from y/n’s manager asking him to fake date her.

PERM TAGLIST: @ddeonudepressions ⋆ @zuyairus-deactivated20230507 ⋆ @sunoksunny ⋆ @taejays ⋆ @hanniluvi ⋆ @haknom ⋆ @trsrina ⋆ @tyunnie-gyuu ⋆ @ririlovesrenjun ⋆ @xiaoderrrr ⋆ @r-westillfriends ⋆ @placinggum10 ⋆ @gakrufbd ⋆ @nanabbg ⋆ @son4taa ⋆ @redm4ri ⋆ @strwberrydinosaur r ⋆ @dreama-little-dreamof-me ⋆ @lcv3lies ⋆ @aspaia ⋆ @schmocolateschmchip ⋆ @seungcheolswife ⋆ @ixomiyu ⋆ @dimplewonie ⋆ @jeongintwt ⋆ @esther-kpopstan ⋆ @uwuheeseungie

[reinerswarrior]

Just Say It Already

Public exhibition, oral, cursing and pressure on poor Berty

The blondes master plan was to take the other in to the bad side of town and give him some practice in standing up for himself with a unruly people, but he didn’t. He had been approached my an unruly male, who had made fun of him and the blonde waited to see what bertholdt would do but the taller mail just shrunk behind him if he could actually hide his 6’3 form behind the others 6’1

Now Reiner was annoyed after trying all day and nothing worked so now he didn’t know what else to do “You’re a warrior, Bertholdt..Act like one..” he grumbled as he stared at the other with a glare and Bertholdt could feel sweat rolling down his back at this point as the other was staring him down

“I am..B-But that doesn’t mean I’m able to do that..What if they fight back?I don’t want to fight anyone for no reason!” He objects and he sees Reiners expression sour instantly “Fuck that..They are devils,they deserve to be put in thier place” he says as his golden eyes darted around and he raked his fingers through his sandy blonde hair as his adams apple bobbed in annoyance “I don’t know why you just won’t do it”

"I-Im sorry but I just couldnt-!" Bertholdt insisted and Reiner just frowned as he reached out and grabbed his wrist. He really thought Bertholdt would of done so but he was surprised yet not surprised that he didnt. "Cmon...me and you are going to have a talk" He says as he shook his head and he led the meek male with him towards the next smaller alleyway and as soon as they entered it, he shoved Bertholdt in front of him and the taller male stumbled against the wall

"Damn it.. Why cant you just say fuck you?" Reiner sighed as he stared at the other then his lips parted "Fuck you-!" He hissed at Bertholdt "Fuck you...Fuck you...Fuck you-!" He repeated before he threw his hands up in the air "See? It's not that hard-!... Just say it-!"

He insists but bertholdt couldnt speak past the lump in his throat and he just whined but then he felt lips crashing onto his neck and the all familiar press of Reiner's chest and hips against his

"Oh Bear...." Reiner sighed, using the nickname that melted Bertholdt like butter. "I wish you could just do it.. Stand up for yourself so I dont have to" He says as he nuzzled his neck and the lanky male wrapped his long arms around Reiner but Reiner grunted as he pushed them back against the wall "I'm not going to give up till your able to say it" He says and Bertholdt knew exactly what he meant

"I'm not going to curse at you Reiner" he tries to say gently but then he was struck into silence as the blonde began to shrink...or rather he was slowly going to his knees as hsi rough hands lifted Bertholdt's sweater and his button up below it "Wait Reiner.. What are you doing-?!" Bertholdt gasped but the only thing that answered him was the clicking of his belt getting unbuckled.

"O-Oh god-" Bertholdt began but Reiner was already yanking down the front of Bertholdt's Tan trousers and he felt his erection getting pulled out. wait- when did he even get hard? It must of been as soon as he was pushed against the damn wall....of course Reiner knew his weaknesses.

"We cant-! I can see people...They can see us-!" Bertholdt was gripping the others hair wildly as his heart raced and his back was drenched with sweat as his eyes darted wildly.

They were indeed in front of everyone who looked thier way but no one had noticed yet. "They're probably used to it.. This is that kind of place around here...We can do shit like this and no one will judge" Reiner says and he was fully prepared to pull away if the other said the safe word to get him to legitimately stop but he noticed the hands in his hair were not trying to push him away so he continued to pull Bertholdt long slippery erection out

Bertholdt's eyes squeezed shut as Reiner went down on him and he wasnt used to topping but he liked this...His mouth was so warm.. And so easy to thrust in.. Which he did ever so slightly and he felt so good he almost forgot there were people around. At the memory his eyes shot open and sure enough he met eyes with a stranger across the street and instantly he hunched over Reiner's head, His torso curling around it and he felt Reiner choke and gag around him as the movement made him deepthroat him. That was hot.

He was distracted again as he looked back up at the stranger but they had already made their way by and paid them no more mind "Oh Reiner..I cant...I cant believe...Fuck...You feel...Your mouth..Your throat..Your spit-...Ah-....oh god...oh-..." He moaned out in a jumble as he looked down and his erection was throbbing wildly. He was so excited at being watched by strangers, he knew it was a new kink he had just uncovered and he wasnt going to last

Then he looked down and saw that the blonde with a red face and he had tears running down his red cheeks from being forced to take the long cock of the taller male and white hot fire pumped through his gut "Oh Reiner...Oh...oh I-..Oh-" then he looked up again and he met eyes with none other than the man at the beginning "Fuck you-!" He cried out as his orgasm struck, making him arch his back and his head tilted back in his orgasm, hitting the back of his head on the wall while he heard the gurgle of his seed choking Reiner as he gripped his head and forced him to deepthroat till he stopped cumming.

The stranger just chuckled before continuing on his way. He reached up to scratch his chin before rolling his eyes. "Damn idiots" He murmured "Braun owes me" Meanwhile Reiner pulled off of Bertholdt and tucked his lovers softening cock back into his pants and adjusted his belt back to normal before getting to his feet with a grunt "There we go.. Good job..." He murmured, his voice strained as he wiped his mouth, wiping off the access seed of his lover "Now.. we're going to go home.. and you can curse at me as much as you want while I take care of my lil issue.." He says, gesturing down to his erection tenting his slacks and Bertholdt couldn’t be sure but he could see it twitching from here as Reiners voice rasped;

“We can practice more later~”

[nonbinarygamzee]

i think it is very interesting how people pick and choose which characters to sympathize with on the basis of being reduced to plot devices or being in general captives to their narratives. and obviously you dont have to like or give a shit about every character to exist especially not in a work so simultaniously dense and flat as homestuck, but i have both an intense interest in sociology and too much experience with how this fandom treats people for liking the "wrong" fictional children not to be eternally preoccupied with what makes these distinctions. when the character is liked, they are allowed the grace of being kind of poorly written; its the fault of the author, or theres some significant nudging about of their story beats to recontextualize them into something more nuanced and whole. by contrast, if the character is generally agreed upon to be uncharismatic, their personality flaws are inflated and the flatness of their writing is either erased in preference of integrating those authorial decisions into the characters personality (regardless of how glaringly contradictory) or more concerningly becomes a means of shutting down criticism on the basis nobody should care about the unserious/unwritten ones anyways.

interestingly, with gamzee in particular, ive found that people tend to do one or the other moreso than both; dont get me wrong, theres still a plethora of moralizing over peoples sympathy for This particular fictional child going on, obviously, thats basically the reason i am trapped here. but because gamzee is accepted as not a character but a plot device or an obstacle, a lot of people arent invested enough in her potential personhood to insist that the (antithetical) ways that she behaves are proof of her being "iredeemable". but they still have a negative emotional response to people having investment in her character. it isnt relevant whether or not shes a bad person, or whether she is being puppeteered, because her functionality in the world she exists in is to propagate the story and stand in opposition to its protagonists.

however as interesting as i think that is and for all i do think it says about an individual persons approach to homestucks presentation, i also cant ignore that that dichotomy only really started to Exist once it became less in vogue to harrass people for their character allegiences. in the same way, it seems like we as a fandom cannot escape the trap of being really, really weird about tavros every couple of years. skirting around some of the more blatantly ridiculous stuff because i do actually value my sanity a little bit, he is definitely one of the characters i first noticed people using critique as a pretense for passing judgement on people who liked or cared about him. again basically coinciding wiyh when it stopped being generally socially acceptable to just openly laugh about what a pathetic loser the disabled kid being humorously abused onscreen was. when ableism started to become a topic people cared about and disabled people and fans who related to tavros began to provide more in depth critique of the writing choices, and of fans, namely fans who made very light of his disability or who had a general refusal to talk about vriska's(and others but you know why its about her here) ableism, there was a massive uptick in people feeling the need to talk unprompted about how boring and shitty tavros is, questioning how anybody could like him when hes so badly written, etc. all in ways that did not try very hard to hide the fact that the concern about character writing was disingenuous and only really served the purpose of shutting down critiques of ableism in the fandom and comic. obviously this all seems to stem from investment in canonicity but i do notice it informs even the choices of people who approach their engagement in a "my city now" type of way. because the presentation of these characters impacts the wider perception, which impacts the ways people will deconstruct them. and this is why the idea that "homestuck doesnt have a canon" is a lie being sold to you for the sake of shutting down investigations od authorial motivation. was not intended to be epilogue snark but thatd as good a way to end this nonsense as anything else.

[hcfiles]

blah blah blah or they are simply a real couple expecting a Baby. End of. 🙄

And now not only Natalie is PR but all his other relationships too? Woman you need Jesus. Is it because you cant stand the thought of Henry having partners? Is that your problem? He's one of the hottests dude in the world he doesnt need PR Girlfriends. The only one that might have been PR is with Kaley Cuoco. I think you have never been a fan of Henry at all. Cant be because how come you never noticed anything of that before? Just now when a woman came into his Life you hate, now it's suddenly clear to you? astonishing!

Gina talked about Henry recently, they were very seriously! She alone debunks your "all his relationships are pr" bs. And before you attack again, Im not afraid to admit I hate the way you talk about Henry but its not because i fear you are right...NO its because I hate when people manipulate others on the internet because ive seen how it works. A lot of people arent smart, dont do their own research...they read something and believe it. So im asking you, at least tell people its only your opinion. Do not state your opinion as facts, please. What will happen if you are proved wrong? Will you just disapear in shame and/or delete everything? You hurt people, the sooner you realize that the better.

My criticism goes against the way his team dealt with the situation. Of course he's entitled to have a relationship. And the fact he had many PR stunts doesn't avoid him from having real girlfriends hidden somewhere who don't show, despite thinking he's not that experienced, even being the hottest man on Earth. Being hot and sexy is not exactly, a synonym of a good performance.

You say I make statements and manipulate people. No! I give my version of the facts and people are entitled to disagree, like you do. For those following, I think that is clear. It's a democratic page. But, saying I manipulate people just because I give my version of facts, is way too much and it gives me a power I don't have. Even the most idiotic, has an opinion and can discuss it and disagree with me.

It is a free world. I am entitled to have a blog discussing a public matter of a public figure. Manipulating would be if I came here saying I know the couple, work with his team or in the Industry. That would make my page more credible and people dependent on my posts, coming back for more. But, your insistence in trying to argue with me is more manipulative and brings more attention than my posts.

You say you "hate when people manipulate others on the internet". But, isn't that exactly what you are trying to do? Trying to make me do or write what you want on my blog to suit your convictions? And, of course a lot aren't smart. But, I'm not here choosing or excluding readers. My page is democratic. They are free to come and go. And, I'm not responsible for what people do of the information they read. They have the free will to do whatever they want with it, including to ignore it.

I never stated my posts as facts. That is YOUR interpretation of what you read, probably based on your fears they could be true. You are responsible for how you interpret what you read. Good luck with that.

And answering your question, if I am proven wrong it will be OK and nice. At least, one way or another, we will have answers to many of the questions we have seen for years and he will have a chance (maybe) to get rid of the negative publicity and the bad luck and energy Natalie brought him.

Who do I hurt and why? Henry? He doesn't even know I exist. You? I would only hurt you if my ideas threatened your beliefs. But, I'm not going to your page to force you to believe me and you said my posts don't threaten what you believe in. So, ... If proven I'm wrong, why would I delete the blog? I might just continue with the page. There will always be something to write about, because he will always come up with some new promotion or PR stunt. But, I doubt I'm wrong. At least, not wrong about a few things.

[autismvampyre]

ok so audhd rant/asking for advice

we had a psychologicist come to the class to explain autism and adhd today. the reason why is bc i have faced a lot of discrimination, ableism and bullying from my peers bc of my disorders. my teachers felt we should all learn what the words mean and why they should never be used as insults, and how that can affect someone, which is a nice sentiment.

the person they picked was recommended by my mother, which should've been my first warning sign, bc try as she might my mother does not understand the autistic community. she trusts the professionals which is good bc im not a doctor and they're qualified, i get it; but also i dont fucking trust professionals to understand me because not once did my doctors help me understand when i was diagnosed. i asked to meet her before she came to the school, but my mom insisted she was great so i held back and tried to be hopeful, because even if a lot of my experience with professionals has been negative doesn't mean they're all bad and ignorant

anyways, she was exactly like every other psychologist ever and explained everything in the most basic way ive even seen. she literally sounded like the people who explained my diagnoses to me when i got them at age 11 and those mf's were literally useless. it took me years to actually understand what my disorder meant and i only figured it out by talking to other people with autism and adhd instead of reading shit by professionals and autism moms. the way we are portrayed by psychiatrists is not my experience at all and they often use outdated language and speak in very broad terms and don't bring up any of the things that i find important. i know not everyone with adhd and autism is the same but i genuinely cannot relate to the way they talk about us at all. like, this psychiatrist didn't even mention executive dysfunction and kept talking about how it "isn't an excuse" and fucking everyone agreed.

i feel like almost an anti-vaxxer, claiming i know better than doctors, so i genuinely do try to understand and accept doctors but i just cant fucking stand it. am i wrong for thinking she's wrong? like she has a degree, but she also doesn't seem to understand me and idk if im just a weird outlier even in my neurodivergence or if im right and she doesn't truly understand. like im not a doctor, im just a person who has these disorders but i genuinely feel misrepresented and like all these explanations are for other people to understand that they have to put up with me. i feel infantilised and really fucking bummed. like, i knew she wasn't gonna be perfect bc she isn't actually in the community but the level of generalization and misinformation was so disappointing

i feel fucking crazy. cause who am i to disagree with her when she's the professional, yk?? im no one. they won't listen to me. my classmates can't empathize with me like they do each other, and so many of them think they get it bc they're white teenage boys with adhd that are low support(and im happy for them that they feel good about it!! genuinely! and not saying they aren't valid, but in my experience many of them tend to unknowingly invalidate other people with the disorder who are different than them/have higher support needs) and can't seem to understand that other people have different experiences and struggles with the same disorder. i also live in a very conservative city, and even if the school is more liberal, we are still very high in MUF(the moderate party's youth) and you can tell because everyone i know is either apolitical or conservative, except me and the three leftists. it's a hostile environment, and i feel like im rambling but whatever. i needed to get it off my chest

[freakattack]

I know I have a phobia of bugs and spiders and I know (and greatly appreciate) that you started tagging bug posts for that very reason but I have not muted the tag or turned off notifications for your blog. Reasons being 1. The phobia of bugs isn't bad enough I cant handle a few seconds of exposure when scrolling past and the more... exotic? I guess??? the bug is the the less my phobia makes me feel the effects and I can appreciate a cool looking bug (There is no amount of spiders I can stand though, even the thought of them activates the phobia.) And 2. I really enjoy your info dumps about bugs and hearing what you have to say about them, your blog is just really endearing to me, like watching a cool exotic bug wearing a top hat playing wario ware on max difficulty perfectly on the bus. Also I love me a good obscure fact.

I am in a hell of my own creation.

Do not cry for me, for I am already stupid.

Top ten funnest messages to receive after sticking my arm into a tub of cockroaches

No but you're so real for this and I am so happy that I can offer a safe avenue to learn about bugs. I actually was talking to someone at my job today about the importance of invertebrate conservation education (contrary to popular belief i do have a job and it does have to do with bugs), and a big part of that is taking away the unfamiliarity of these animals and presenting them in a way that people can relate to and appreciate. Generally speaking things become less scary the less "unknown" they are, and if the things you know about them are endearing (like centipedes being good mamas, or bees making an "oop" sound when they bump into each other), it can take away some of that fear. And you're right that arthropods are INCREDIBLY important ecologically so that's another reason I'm passionate about this subject.

That being said I'm happy to tag spiders in addition to bugs because I'm not trying to jumpscare people! That'd be counterproductive! (However if you're up for it, I have heard that the Lucas the Spider animations on youtube have helped a lot of people with their fear; it's computer-animated semi-stylized depiction of a jumping spider but it's voiced by a cute little kid, and even though it's a little corny I do think it has done a lot for spider PR. Obviously not for everyone though!) And yeah I feel you on that last point, I would never compare not liking bugs to actual bigotry (especially with simply bugphobic people, whom I am chill with) nor would I ever compare the plight of bugs to that of actual marginalized people, BUT at the same time if someone steps over the line and is viciously hateful about any animal (e.g. commenting "KILL IT WITH FIRE" on someone's pet, adamantly insisting that an entire species needs to go extinct, unloading a whole bottle of raid on 1 ant, etc.) simply because it is different or inconveniencing them, I will be very suspicious of their ability to be normal about human beings who are different or inconveniencing them. If nothing else I will think they are a massive tool!

But ya I so deeply respect your ability to appreciate the value of these animals despite your phobia, cause so many people don't even without that obstacle. Every bug on earth salutes you (from a safe distance)

Here is a pic of me playing smooth moves

[cosmohydrargyrum]

like idk I feel pretty hopeless about my health in general especially since my rheumatologist and my PT make it seem like aids should be a last resort for me. I love the optimism (lie) but i can't fucking walk. I'm depressed, fatigued, and suicidal (no intent just thoughts) beyond anything but I mask it so well even in front of medical professionals who I'm supposed to trust with the reality. idek what it is that they're so insistent I can be normal if I just try hard enough. I just don't feel like trying when in actuality my condition will only get worse. I feel like no one actually realizes how much I'm affected. in front of some people I feel embarrassed that I'm so "lazy" because I haven't done much and I'm not working even though I haven't done much because I literally can't. I'm okay with acknowledging the fact that I'm disabled, I just wish everyone else would be. God I want a cane so bad but there's no way my parents would let me get one because they have the utmost faith in these people, and I'm afraid I'd use it improperly and ruin my shoulders and wrists.

adding to the cane thing my balance issues are getting so much worse and dizzy spells more consistent. I feel like it would help with support, not all the time I guess but when it's really bad. marching band is starting and after these rehearsals I will be so done. and I'm in front ensemble so I'm STANDING THE WHOLE TIME not even walking. but according to my PT this is such great timing that I'm learning stability now!!!!!!! oh my god he can suck my penis so hard guys he's so fucking irritating. bro the other day I almost fell down the stairs like 4 times because my knees and ankles were giving out and I was so dizzy. BUT SINCE I DONT LOOK LIKE IM IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN WHEN I PULL UP TO THE FUNCTION EVERYTHINGS FINE RIGHT 😝😝😝😝😝 who needs aids when you have determination 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I'm also afraid I'm just being dramatic. I had an atrocious past experience with physical therapy and i almost broke down at my consultation the other day because I hated PT last time. wouldn't you know it, I hate it this time. I feel like the PT doesn't really hear me even tho hes an EDS specialist. I'm also also afraid that rheumatologist and PT are right and if I just try ill get better at managing everything. I don't like being wrong about things I'm sure of and I especially don't want to hear it from an authority figure.

i literally can't do anything. I don't have the energy to do anything. and when I do things I pay such a heavy price in pain and fatigue. i havent even crocheted in a minute because i cant think hard enough to do it. all I could really do today was feed myself based on piss poor hunger cues and shower.

[blackestnight]

waking dreams

what if we… were in a never-ending nightmare sustained by eldritch gods as punishment for unspeakable sins… and i cut your head off .. aha ha, just kidding.. unless..?

nini and aoife reminded me of a thing i wrote for bloodborne au months ago but never actually got around to posting, which will make complete sense to one person, partial sense to about six other people, and no sense to anyone else, but you know what? it’s fine. you don’t need any context aside from my refrain of “DECAPITATION (ROMANTIC)” (this is also a content warning for decapitation (romantic))

The old workshop reeked, when Aymeric closed his eyes—of dust, rotting wood, candle wax, metal and oil and rust, both from the blades on the walls and the ever-present blood, in bottles and vials and ground into his clothes. The stillness in the building itself had always reminded him a bit of a church, with the workbench serving as an altar to the old gods of slaughter.

He felt shivers prickling up the skin of his neck, and took a deep breath. There was no danger here. None that he wasn’t willing to turn his back on, anyway.

When he opened his eyes again, the moonlight through the warped glass of the window caught on the swords left abandoned by their makers: cleavers, trick canes, a scythe flashing like a grim smile in the darkness, twin to the one Hanami was using now in the misty fields. She really was so skilled with it. What a mercy.

He shuddered again at the crunch of loose stone, and the creak of the floorboard behind him—when he turned, there she was, resplendent in her dark coat, her scythe held loosely in one hand. He supposed there was blood on her somewhere—it was unavoidable, in their line of work—but it wasn’t on the blade, which shone clean and bright.

“Come on,” she said, her voice as gentle as Aymeric had ever heard it, quiet as a grave.

He shook his head even as he took a step toward her. “I could—”

“No,” she told him, much firmer—oh, there was the flint in her eyes, ready to spark against steel. “I told you. Keep your hands clean. This is my work.”

“I know,” he insisted. Maybe this was what prayer felt like, for those more devout than he: a desperate plea to be heard, if just for a moment, by a power greater than he really understood. “But I…I do not wish to leave you alone. After.”

Hanami shifted her weight; her arm moved, too, a gentle tilt of her wrist to prop her scythe against her shoulder. “Let me worry about after,” she said. “I will make do. Are you ready?”

He took another deep breath (metal and dust and copper, from rust and from blood). The release left him feeling…deflated, somehow. It was pointless to fight her. She’d proved it, soundly, repeatedly, and—perhaps selfishly—he didn’t want to part on bad terms. Didn’t want to fight. It had been such a long, long night already.

“If you are,” he said, “then yes. I am.”

The garden surrounding the workshop reminded him of home, clearly having been lovely in its past life before being left to rot and decay in the darkness. The flowers had largely been replaced by headstones, which they wove between as Hanami led him around the hillside. Fog swirled around their ankles, making the whole landscape seem boundless; in the distance, beyond what he imagined were cliffs, there were abandoned ships’ masts canted at tired angles, a sort of forest of rigging and timber. He’d never heard any water here, but then this place was always unnaturally still. What flowers there were bent back to standing under their feet, so he couldn’t even mark the paths that she had walked before—couldn’t begin to guess where…

No matter.

Hanami led him along a meandering route through the greenery and the graves until they passed through the fence marking the boundaries of the workshop yard and into the open field. The scent of metal and rust faded into crushed grass and oncoming rain. The slope became gentler, smoother, a steady roll down into the fog and the drop, framed at its high point by the skeletal fingers of trees, and a pair of dirt mounds below it.

Fresh graves. Aymeric knew, with a certainty deeper than his marrow, that the long haft marking one would be Estinien’s rifle spear, and surely the glint at the head of the other would be from Ninira’s Tonitrus.

“On your knees,” Hanami said.

His sword would make a decent gravestone, he thought as he sank to his knees in the soft meadow grass. Better with the shield to lean against it and catch the light.

Aymeric considered closing his eyes, the better to breathe in the midnight dew and chlorophyll, and the faintest scent of sword oil and sweat, but he decided against it. The ground around him was clean, not a single blood-spatter to be found, and with the moon before him and the very edges of the trees guarding his view of the gentle slope down into the fog, he could think of few things he would rather watch as he died.

“Thank you,” he said, unable to force his voice above a whisper. It was such a stunning view. He wondered whether Hanami had taken such care to scout out places to lead Ninira and Estinien—marveled at her care in her execution.

The air was still, so he could hear her every step as she rustled the flowers underfoot. He bowed his head. “No,” she said, “keep your head straight.” It was her glove, not her sword, which brushed his jawline, lifting his chin.

He did as she asked, rolling his shoulders back—perfect posture. The silver light washed over him like icewater.

“Count back from ten,” she said.

He smiled. “Ten,” he said. Her boot crunched in the grass behind him. Aymeric thought, if the moon always looked this lovely, he could understand why some men felt compelled to worship it. “Nine.”

Hanami was a swift and merciful hunter. He never even made it to eight.