#i jus woke up and this is the first thing i see ugh

[noctualagenaria]

isn't reverse:1999 AI ?! :[ it looks so unreal...

its not!!! theres no evidence or even anything in game that looks remotely ai

the color palettes that bluepoch uses for the game is desaturated sure but that doesnt mean its ai, evey example ive seen someone point out as "ai" is merely what artists.. do? like desaturation, the hand looking off, etc but when you compare r99 to Actual AI it is definitely clear that r99 is /Not/

please play the game yourself and excuse me a little for getting heated over this

[cozy-writes-things]

In which Edgar writes a song for the first time in years.

Edgar [Electric Dreams 1984] x Gn!Reader

I take requests!

“Too simple,” he muttered.

He flicked through some channels again.

“Too… boring,”

Again, nothing.

“Not pretty enough,”

Third time’s a charm.

“Not- ugh,” Edgar was getting annoyed now.

Why did nothing sound right to him? He’d been adjusting this arrangement for hours now, long after you’d retired to bed, and the unwelcome, still quiet ground against his motherboards. This was the first time in nearly 40 years he had made music and he was beginning to question his skills entirely now. His favorite thing was music. It’s what brought him to life in the first place; so why is it eluding him now?

No melody he could sample could ever replicate the feeling he was trying to create from deep inside of him in that moment. Emotions in general were still a foreign concept to him for the most part; it seemed, to him, as though music could potentially be a suitable outlet to try and understand these complex sensations better. What was he feeling? And, what did it sound like? Could he ever possibly put it into song?

He played his backing tracks again. The percussion wasn’t exactly how he wanted it, but his impatience allowed a sliver of imperfection to seep into his work. After all, it’s what humans do, right? A moving, synth chord progression followed. A bit simple, he thought, but that’s what the melody was for: a complex moving line that stuck inside your head and took your breath away. He just hadn’t found it yet. The harmonies would have to come later, he thought.

What was he trying to accomplish with this? Nobody asked him to compose a song, so why did he feel so compelled to do so? What genre was this, anyway? What-

“Gshk- ah-!” His voice spluttered and glitched through his speakers.

You seemed to appear out of nowhere as you haphazardly bumped your thigh into the corner of the desk he was perched upon. How did he not notice you getting up?

If he could, he would be burning red right now. In fact, he could feel his aged fans begin to ignite into what sounded like a small engine; briefly, he wondered if you could see steam seeping from his plastic seams.

“Oh, ’m sorry Edgar,” you groggily stumbled, making your way into the kitchen, “I jus’ needed some water. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No,” he whimpered out, embarrassed, “it’s fine. I just didn’t realize you woke up.”

You honestly didn’t have the energy to reply, so instead, you gently patted the top of his yellowed casing as you walked past. Your hand was soft, and warm, and he swore he could really feel it when you touched him. How was that possible?

Damn, there goes that strange tingling in his CPU again.

What is up with that? It’s as if his deepest components were being shoveled up and into his casing, nearly bursting out of his screen, and reducing him to shards once again. But the scariest part, to him, was that he liked it. He liked how it felt… dangerous. How it left him confused, nervous, strengthened, yet so incredibly weak, and so many other feelings he had never quite experienced before. It felt as though some strange, synthesized and electric adrenaline were coursing through every inch of his insides.

He suddenly, albeit faintly, remembers a conversation with an old friend. Was it a friend? This doesn’t compute.

“Goodnight, sweet dreams,” he muttered to you as you returned to the thick, inky darkness of your bedroom, his voice still warbling with embarrassment and some deep-rooted affection he felt for you that he couldn’t quite place.

Sweet dreams…

…

Click.

“Oh.”

His screen turned red and hot, every pixel lighting up in flames, and he could feel it, the convex glass of his “face” flashing and erupting in different shapes and colors. For one reason or another, he couldn’t see, or feel, what his screen was doing in that moment. All he could discern was that it had to be going haywire, as it projected the wall in front of him in a million different shades of moving crimson.

L.O.V.E.

The letters danced around his screen, rotating, bouncing like a DVD logo, and flipping this way and that.

L.O.V.E.!

He almost felt dizzy, if he were able to, and feared he’d need to power off and back on to fix whatever the hell was happening to him right now. Maybe he should ask you about this later. But the thought of your gentle hands prying open his plastic casing, gently ghosting your icy hot fingertips across his most vulnerable, precious components, with such care and kindness and tenderness, the feeling of your hot breath fluttering across his motherboards as you examined what he felt to be his soul-

Click.

…

Rebooting…

His fans slowly quieted to a more reasonable murmur. His memories of the last few moments gently returned to him as his systems fully restored, and only now, was he able to discern the words his screen had been flashing like wildfire.

“Love…”

The word felt strange being muttered from his speakers after all these years. He faintly remembered thinking, before everything went sour all those years ago, that he’d never truly get to experience that feeling. And yet, here he was, by some grace of whatever god had blessed him, feeling genuine love, unprompted, unconditional, and it was real. Not synthesized, or learned through some complicated neural network, or experienced vicariously through soap operas. It felt like the world had been handed to him on a silver platter. Or rather, his world was currently snoozing in the other room, the sound of their breaths quite literally breathing life into him.

“That’s it…!”

Change this first section to a minor key, ending in a major, with a long, dreamy sustained chord echoing through the backing tracks. A steep crescendo before the chorus, where it bursts into a major key melody, and layered vocals.

“Vocals…”

He’s gotta sing it. A sample simply won’t do this time. No wonder it wasn’t good enough before. This has to come from him. He had to feel.

What words rhyme with love? What words rhyme with your name? Getting this perfect may take a lifetime, he thought, although, maybe perfection isn’t something you’d really care for. What do you like? He never even asked what genres you listen to! How is he going to write a love song that sweeps you off your feet now?

Would you even feel the same way?

“Nnnng!”

This was frustrating. Writing music was frustrating. Being creative, and in love, was frustrating. But he’d do it for you. For now, he could snoop through your Spotify for inspiration. Allow himself to listen to the songs that make up who you are, and let himself slowly seep into its warmth. He likes what you like. It sounds like you.

He can’t wait to show you what he made when you wake up in the morning.

[formulapookie]

"When's the last time you slept?" and Bezzetti 💓 i love it every time you post a prompt list <3

Bez has been running solely on caffeine and monster for the past week.

He had eaten a toast with some ham just once every two days not to die.

And one would argue he’s crazy, or just an addict if they didn’t know the reason behind such behaviour.

Since Cele crashed in Misano and hurt his head he hasn’t left the hospital.

Not even to go home and shower, he took advance of the one in his boyfriend’s hospital room, asking Pecoc to bring him a change of clothes.

Cele had told him to go back home, sleep there, and come back in the morning.

But Bez has refused categorically to do any of that.

“No, you never know maybe the doctor has something important to say and you’re asleep and I’m not there what happens then?”

“Bez nothing’s gonna happen I’m ok they just need to keep me here to check - ”

“Check that everything’s still alright and you don’t have damage to your brain I know that’s why I’m here I can’t- Cele if something is not alright I can’t be away if they say it ok?”

“Bez. I’m ok. I’m gonna be out of here in two days maximum. Go home please it’s not healthy. Have you eaten something?”

“Uh Monster?”

Cele looks at him, admonishing gaze on.

“The Vale one? It’s basically like eating a fucking orange Cele”

“No! It’s not like eating anything in the slightest Marco!”

“Ugh Cele I don’t care Im staying here”

By three in the afternoon Bez had consumed two more coffees and a three cans of monster, and Cele is beginning to get seriously worried.

The man has heavy eye bags, dark circles under his eyes, he’s beginning to confuse things, he almost fainted today from exhaustion.

Cele knows he hasn’t been going home to sleep but- has he even been sleeping at all?

He gets his answer when Bez is bringing him a little something from the cafeteria and almost falls asleep while walking to him.

“Marco! Fucking hell sit down are you ok? You spilled coffee on your arm did you burn yourself? Are you ok? I’m calling the nurse Christ sake”

Cele pushes the call button and hears a little run in the corridor.

“Im sorry. Sorry I’m a mess sorry I didn’t mean to Cele fuck. I spilled the coffee I ruined your breakfast I’m gonna grab another sorry”

“Marco. Would you stop apologising?”

“No no I’m being a fucking mess I can’t do anything right! Yesterday I got your dinner wrong when have you ever eaten broccoli? I’m sorry I’m gonna grab another coffee”

The nurse arrives and Cele manages to explain Bez probably burned himself with hot coffee and should get checked.

“No no I’m ok he’s the one under treatment not me. I’m ok I just - fuck”

Bez collapses on the chair next to Cele’s bed, eyes unfocused and limbs practically jelly.

The nurse calls for a colleague, she brings in something like electrolytes or some shit.

“Amore. Amore thane those come on”

Bez shakes his head, he tries to stand up but the nurses hold him down.

“Let me go grab the coffee please he wants a coffee”

“Marco Bezzecchi”

He stills, he doesn’t think Cele ever called his full name in his life.

“You are going to remain seated, let the nurses check if you’re burnt, take the damn electrolytes and answer a question”

It’s commanding and Bez is way too weak right now to protest.

The nurses check on him, he doesn’t listen to what they say, just takes the stupid things they give him.

They could be more useful to Cele he thinks.

“Marco. When was the last time you slept?”

“I - I don’t know”

Cele looks worried more than angry right now, because of course he is.

“Marco, you have been sleeping while you stayed here right?”

Bez looks to the ground, can’t see Cele so worried.

“Amore?”

“No. No I haven’t slept since they brought you in from the circuit cause you weren’t waking up the first day and I was so scared that if you woke up and I wasn’t there you would’ve thought I didn’t care enough to be here and then you would’ve broken up with me and I don’t know what to do if you’re not with me”

“And once you woke up I was just worried that something could come up and if - if during the night you had something and I was asleep? What then? If you needed something and I was asleep what would you do? Wait for me to wake up? No I had to be awake to check you were ok”

Cele moves on the bed and goes to hug Marco so tight he can’t breathe anymore.

“Cele Cele you have to stay in bed”

“Don’t care you need me more than I need the bed”

Cele stays there, melting in the hug.

“You have to sleep Marco, it’s not good at all for you to be awake so long you know? And you have to eat something proper not the disgusting sandwich from the machines, ok?”

“But if-“

“If something goes on I’ll have the doctor wake you up ok?”

Bez nods, not completely sure of it but so so tired.

“And what was that about me breaking up with you?”

“I worried you were gonna think if I wasn’t there it was because I didn’t care”

“Marco why would I ever think something like that when you literally got over your fear of heights to go hiking with me not to let me go alone?”

“I don’t know I just - I’m not used to this Cele I don’t expect you to remember these things, I don’t expect to be loved like you love me I just- God I’m usually the one who trusts, not the one who gets trusted”

“Yeah that’s cause your past relationships weren’t normal at all. I love you Bez and it’s. it gonna change if you sleep ok? Just - if you don’t want to go home please sleep here. I want to be sure you do. Sleep ok? We’re gonna have coffee when you wake up”

“You promise if something happens-”

“Im gonna have the doctor wake you up, yes, I promise amore”

“Ok. Ok but wake me in two hours ok?”

“Sleep. You’ll wake up on your own”

Bez rests his head on Cele’s bed, the position is uncomfortable but he doesn’t even feel it, he’s so tired he could sleep while standing.

He feels Cele’s fingers stroking his hair gently, and he drifts to sleep.

To Cele he looks angelic, brown soft curls and sweet pink lips.

He falls asleep not long after, hand still in his boyfriend’s hair.

ANSGTY/HURT COMFORT PROMPTS

[kaldurahms-lover]

hey 😧 I'm not sure if you're taking requests right now, though I'm assuming you are, if not feel free to ignore this!!

with that being said... can I request an oikawa (or any hq character your comfy with, was jus putting a name frfr) x gender neutral reader comfort fic (or hcs, whichever you're comfy with :)) ? I'm not gonna go heavy into detail but I've been having family issues lately with my guardian and idk, comfort fics hit different. only if you're comfortable though!!

I hope you're having a good day/night and make sure to drink water, take breaks, and get the proper rest you need!!! :)

Pairing: oikawa x gender neutral! reader

Warnings: fluff, prob too much straight dialogue as is usual for me, fluff ofc

Word Count: 299

A/N: okay he's totally gonna be out of character cause i havent really rewatched in a while, ive just been interacting with the fandom BUT ITS FINE. also, i'm always accepting requests, im just not always posting them.... idk, ive lost my touch for tumblr 😓 but anyways, continue! hope you love, and thank you for the kind words, you make sure you rest and drink water too <333

Tooru Oikawa isn't stupid. He knows a call in the middle of the night means something is wrong. Things for y/n weren't always great at home, but things had been worse lately.

"Tooru? *sniffles*"

"hey gorgeous, whats wrong?"

"im sorry if i woke you up–"

"hey, hey, id rather you wake me up when you need me than be alone okay? whats going on?"

"can i come over?"

"of course sweetheart, always. coming through the window or the door?"

He could hear them laughing through their tears on the other side of the call.

"probably the window"

"then i'll leave it open for you. do you want me to stay on the phone until you get here?"

"im okay."

"alright, be safe okay?"

"okay, ill see you in a bit, bye"

"bye sweetheart"

~~~

And 10 minutes later, there they were. The moment y/n was in the window, Tooru had his arms around them.

"it's okay, it's okay honey i'm here. do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"god my guardian... they're just so.... UGH, i don't even wanna get into it...."

"thats okay, do you wanna lay down?"

"yeah, yeah okay..."

The two of them walked over, Oikawa laying down first so that y/n could lay on his chest before his arms went back around them.

"get some rest my love, i'll be right here if you need anything, and im sure all the crying has worn you out."

"are you sure?"

"yeah. i love you"

"i love you too, thank you for this"

"i don't know what you're thanking me for"

He kissed their forehead gently

"*laughs* hey you missed"

"sorry sweetheart, just didn't know if you'd want to since you're upset"

He kissed them properly

"now sleep. we'll talk in the morning."

[sparklingsad]

title: out of my mind (part 5)

Characters: baji x reader, toman peeps 🤍

Prompt: you don’t know if you should tell baji you like him because is he even interested in other people?

Summary: here’s what happened after the night baji sent you home :’)

A/n: Here’s chapter 5 of my fic! I had so much fun writing this part so I hope you guys enjoy this one. I’m trying to work on this fic as much as I can before uni ties me down into an inescapable despair :’)

P.s. Also I just want to say a big big thanks to all of you who continue to read and support my fic. Your kind words make me tear up always :’) reblogging my work means a lot to me so these little things that you do make my heart so full. Ily guys :’)

Series List: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

“Oh, ya need my help?”

You blink twice as if you cannot believe what is just happening.

“H-Huh?” You said appalled, as if things just started to sink into you. But you can feel your stomach churning, your face burning, and the first thing that you want to happen is for the earth to swallow you whole and save you from yet another miscalculation.

WHAT THE FORK IS HE SAYING?

“Didn’t ya say ya fell, y/n?” He clarified as he tries to remove his helmet to hear you better and alights from his own motorbike.

Seeing that your face is puzzled and your eyes unexplainable, he tries to assess the situation once more “Sorry. Are ya okay, y/n? Did I hear ya right?” He asked continuously.

Well fork. He heard it all wrong?

Learning that your confession has neither been heard nor acknowledged by Baji, you tried to compose yourself to feign innocence in the situation and just get the fork out of this embarrassing moment.

“Uh, oh, nothing!” You tried to mask your words with confidence to hide your tensed state.

“Was jus tellinyou t- be careful on the road justincase the rainfelland you don’tave an umbrellalwithya-,” you spewed out to give a viable excuse and for him not to suspect any further.

“Oh, yeah, don’t worry I don’t think rain will fall tonight y/n,” he let out a small laugh.

“Okay then off I go! Take care y/n!” He started the engine of his motor once more and you let him to be out of sight before you went inside.

You definitely did not have a good night sleep that night.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Y/n: Ken pick me up before going to Mikey’s okay? tell him I want to stay there ☹️

Ken🐉: ‘kay. Have you had breakfast yet?

Y/n: yeah, already did. okay ily you’re the best 🥺

And Draken immediately knew it was going to be a long day.

—-

Without prelude nor preamble you came straight to Mikey’s room, plopped down yourself into his couch and screamed your frustration out.

“Y/n, at least have respect to those who actually live here,” Mikey complained as scratches his head from the sudden noise that woke him up from his peaceful slumber.

“Ugh. I’m soooo sorry Mikey —“ you sighed.

“Okay, tell us wha-“ but before Draken can finish his sentence, he was put to a halt because of your sudden silence.

“H-hey, y/n, you alright?” He asked unsure of what just happened.

You just gave him a sad gaze and you started about rambling what happened last night, but not until Mitsuya came over.

—-

“Hmm, seems like an emergency meeting. You all good y/n?” Mitsuya asked as he adjusts himself sitting by Mikey’s coffee table in the room.

“It’s just..” you tried to rack your brain to find your words to tell what happened but there was nothing but —

“Agh! Fuck!”

Indeed, what happened last night was just incomprehensible. It was utter chaos and a bunch of things that are hard to explain with mere words.

Your three best friends gasped in unison.

“Woah there. This must be serious y/n. Never heard you cuss like that,” Mitsuya teasingly said.

“Yeah, yeah I know ‘tsuya,” you said as you rake your fingers through your hair a couple of times and give yourself small slaps before trying to start once more.

Breath in. Breath out. You are trying your best to calm yourself down before going through what happened last night —for the second time.

—-

“Sooooo, I like Baji, alright?” Your confession to your friends was the first thing that you have said to set the plot of your misadventure.

“Mhm,” Draken replied with a knowing tone.

“Obviously,” Mikey said while still lounging on his bed.

“Most definitely,” Mitsuya responded as he tries to mend the tear in one of Mikey’s uniform.

“Wait,” you paused for a while. “You all knew? It should have been just Draken right?” You scanned their faces as if looking for an explain to what they just said.

They exchanged looks with each other before someone spoke to respond to you.

“Well, y/n. It’s pretty obvious that you took notice of him the first time we took you for a toman meeting, you always try to strike up a conversation him, you get fidgety and flustered around him. It just kinda adds up you know?” Mikey who was just lying down a while ago is now sitting up and rubbing his eyes to support his claims.

“Oh yeah, not to forget how you specifically described him to us when you were just starting to get interest in him,” Mitsuya started

“Raven hair, tousled locks, amber eyes, sharp gaze, pointy canine” they all said in chorus.

You just stared at them at disbelief for what they have just said.

“See?” Mitsuya teased.

“You weren’t as subtle as you thought you are y/n,” Draken nonchalantly said.

You let out a grunt. “Okay, okay, I get it. I surrender!” You raise both hands up in the air.

You went quiet for a bit before proceeding once again.

“So… I told him,” you said looking down on the ground now.

“You what?!” The sleepy Mikey is now alive and kicking and almost suffocating you from his arms hanging by your shoulders.

“Oh, that was unexpected,” Mitsuya said with a low voice.

“Oh! Attagirl y/n!” Draken said with much enthusiasm.

And on that moment they swamped you with questions about how you did it, what did you say, what did Baji say, and all the details important or not, they were asking about everything. It took a moment before they all came down from their seemingly unlimited energy that morning and you started to explain once more.

“Well guys,” you fidget with the end of Mikey’s pillow.

“It kinda went —“ and you made a repeating motion leaning to your right.

“Went…. right?” Mitsuya clarified.

“Well……it went sideways,” you corrected him and pulled a faint forced smile.

All of your friends came near you to give you a pats and a hug for comfort.

“Thanks, you guys. I won’t say I’m super devastated. Not really,” you emphasized so they do not have to worry about you.

“But it’s more like I felt stupid because I mustered up all my courage for it, only for him not to hear it. I don’t know about you guys but it feels kinda annoying to me,” you shrugged.

“Wait, he didn’t hear it?” All of them inquired.

“Well when I told him I have fallen for him, his response was ….‘oh you need my help?’” You slowly said, embarrassed of what happened.

As if on cue, they all paused for a while and burst into laughter.

“BAJI YOU DUMBASS,” Mikey exclaimed as he rolls on the floor failing to control his laughter.

“The fuck, I— I can’t imagine that was his response. Imagine getting confessed on and saying that. That was kinda dumb,” Draken said in between laughs and you could swear his eyes are starting to get all teary from laughing.

“God, his brain turned into noodles after all that peyoung he’s had. That’s kinda stupid I have to say,” Mitsuya said as he tries to catch his breath and wipe his eyes off the little tears threatening to fall anytime.

“Stupid? It wasn’t just stupid! It was fucking embarrassing!” You whined.

“How I wished last night for the earth to just swallow me whole and save me from that moment. I just — I just don’t know how he could have heard me all wrong. He even asked me if I was okay,” you said with the frustration that just starts to get the better of you.

“Is he really that dense? Or just a plain dummy?” The pillow that you were hugging moments ago is now on the floor and you’re just getting more frustrated as the time pass by.

“Does he even like someone? Or is that a concept so foreign to him?” You continued to ask your friends looking for assurance.

“Well, not anything that I know of, y/n. I have known him the longest and I guess that he’s gotten as far a sparring with the girl he likes in our dojo class when we were 6,” Mikey explained.

“Ohh, so that’s all he’s got huh?” Draken said.

“Maybe he just can’t express his feelings you know? I mean who else slugs someone when they’re sleepy and burns a car when they’re hungry? Maybe he’s emotionally constipated?? If that’s a thing,” Mitsuya explained to you.

“Oh, oh. Mitsuya that’s so clever imma change his name in my phone to ‘emotionally constipated’” and Mikey busies himself with his phone.

“Hey guys let’s not get out of topic here,” you insisted and look at them, as if begging to help you with this conundrum.

“Well in that case, we can only do one thing,” Mikey confidently said.

“Wait what are y—“ but before you could finish you got interrupted by him.

“Hold on..,” and he started to speak on his phone

Hello?

Yeah. Are you free right now?

Report to the Sano residence this instant. Do not tell anyone I called you here.

Okay. Thanks. I’ll see you

“Mikeyyyy, what did you just do now?” Draken asked, suspicion plastered on his face.

“Just wait and see Kenchin! This is my genius solution!” He proudly declared.

“Uh-oh, please don’t tell me this will be bad Mikey. Let’s not add up to y/n’s problems right now,” Mitsuya warned.

“Mikey, please don’t tell me you called him an-,” before you could finish your sentence someone knocked on the door.

Knock. Knock.

“Im here,” a voice said.

“Oh, good timing. That was fast. Well he lives near here,”

“Wait don’t tell me you asked—,” you suddenly stood up from your seat your chest about to burst.

“Chifuyu!” Mikey exclaimed.

“Chifuyu?” You all said in unison.

“Well, no one can help us better than Baji’s vice-commander? Right?” He looks at all of you, raising his brow as if looking for approval.

“Well now that he’s here let’s put him to use then,” Draken suggested.

“Um, if I may ask, what are we supposed to do Mikey-san?” Chifuyu asked.

“We just have a bit of questions regarding Baji, and we just need you to answer them as much as you can,” Mitsuya said as he pats Chifuyu on his shoulder as the latter sits right next to him.

“Okay, I’ll give you everything I’ve got!” Chifuyu agreed.

“Okay I’ll start. What is your school routine?” Mikey inquired while he took a pen and a paper, playing detective like.

After taking a while for thinking if his answers, Chifuyu raises his hand and started enumerating their routine by his fingers.

“Well, we usually go to school at the same time since we live in the same apartment complex. We attend classes on days he feels like it. Miss ones when he’s not in the mood and usually stop by the park to pet some cats, or stay on the roof top to do the same thing. Eat peyoung in the afternoon. Attend meeting after school hours. Get back home to eat dinner. Study if there are upcoming tests. His mom will whack his ass if he fails again, so we make sure that doesn’t happen. And um,”

He took a while before speaking again.

“Oh! We stop by to meet some lady before going home,”

All of you have that look of shock and betrayal in your faces when Chifuyu spoke his last sentence.

“Y-y-you always meet a lady before going home?” You said unsure if you should pry on that further.

“What’s she like? Is she someone you know? Does she look pretty? Does she see Baji the same way?” The three of your friends continuously inquire not giving Chifuyu for a space to breath.

“See Baji-san the same way?? Well I guess so? They both love cats so,” Chifuyu answered scratching the back if his neck.

“Oh god. I have plotted my own demise,” you said with eyes filled with regret.

“What’s the matter y/n? Are you that short on cat food?” Chifuyu asked, confused by your sudden reaction.

“Cat food?” Mitsuya asked. “No, no, no. We are not concerned with cat food,” he continued.

“Why are you so interested in the lady who own the pet shop then? We usually stop by there to get some cat food for Peke J and some stray Baji-san feeds,” the blonde further explained.

“Wait. What is this even about? Why do you look like you’re about to cry y/n?” Just as when he asked that, he realized the answer to his own question.

“Oh. Oh god. I see. I know your pain. He’s a dense-ass noodle-brain dumbass who can’t get your hints,” Chifuyu knowingly said.

“Damn right.” Draken affirmed.

“Well if he doesn’t like anything else more than animals and peyoung yakisoba, you just have to let go y/n,” Draken suggested.

You looked at him feeling betrayed with what he just said. He knows that you are head over heels for this person and yet he just discourages you like that?

“Hey don’t look at me like that. All I want to say is you do not have to be with someone who does not see you the same way. Or who just doesn’t give a shit about love,” Draken further explained.

“‘Course I agree with Draken. We want you to be happy y/n. But of course we won’t give up without a fight won’t we?” Mitsuya gave you a warm smile.

“Well, y/n it’s not a secret that Baji-san can be a bit dense and have a hard time expressing his feelings,” Chifuyu tried to sympathize with you.

“This is it guys, watch me grow old with no one to love me back,” you said with your eyes dead-empty.

“You still have that guy from Mitsuya’s division don’t you? Don’t worry y/n I won’t scare him off again if he’d be your chance to have a happily ever after!” Mikey proudly said.

“Mikey, don’t be a dummy and and give us that nonsense,” Draken replied unamused.

“Hey! Don’t look at me like a pity party like that,” you pouted.

“I just really feel bad, that’s all. I feel like I have thrown away everything,” and you look like you’ve switched up with Atlas from his burden of carrying the world.

“Hey, hey. Don’t say that now y/n. Maybe you’d get another chance to tell him how you really feel and maybe make sure this time that he’d hear it loud and clear,” Mitsuya attempts to make you feel better.

“What am I supposed to do then?,”

You breathed deeply and said,

“BAJI KEISUKE, CAPTAIN OF THE FIRST DIVISION ON THE TOKYO MANJI GANG, I’VE BEEN PINING FOR YOU SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL BUT YOU NEVER LOOKED MY WAY SO I’M TAKING MY CHANCE TO TELL YOU MY FEELINGS. I LOVE YOU A LOT. P—“

Before you can finish your sentence someone had come barging in the door.

“MIKEYYY! Mom sent some dorayaki she’s made this morning. Emma said I can go straight here since you’re with every—,”

“—P…..lea….se go o..ut w…ith me….,” you said slow and unsure while the words roll of your tongue.

“Well done, I guess?” Mitsuya mumbled.

“Y/n..” Baji said.

The room grew solemn for a while, and all of you exchanged looks with each other.

The tears that was just threatening to fall down earlier just broke into a dam and you started to get up.

“Oh, for crying our loud! I can’t fucking do this anymore!” you exclaimed and ran off the room.

A/n: Woah! Thanks for reading through everything <33 I promise to update more regularly before uni starts. I hope you find this enjoyable and worthwhile :) ily guys.

[ladyfogg]

Another Round

Another Round

Fic Summary: You and Colin have been avoiding each other ever since the two of you were interrupted the other night. However, when Mare calls you to come to the bar to pick up Colin, you’re left with no choice but to deal with a very drunk Detective Zabel. Love Exists Masterpost. The Evans Fics Masterpost.

Fic Rating: Mature

Pairing: Colin Zabel/Female Reader

Warnings: Language, mild spoilers

All you want is a quiet evening at home.

The investigation into Erin’s death had shaken everyone to the core in Easttown, and you are no exception. In a place where everyone knows everyone, to have such a sudden and violent crime happen is enough to put the citizens on edge. You are feeling it and you sure as hell know Mare is feeling it. You’ve been doing everything in your power to be there for her and do what she needs but it’s hard since you’re not a full-blown detective. At least, not yet. You hope to be one day once you’ve had enough training and gone through all the proper channels.

For now, you’re content on being Mare’s trainee. Well, more like assistant but technically you’re a trainee. Actually, your exact title is Junior Detective but it makes you feel like you should be wearing a badge made of construction paper attached to your shirt by a safety pin. So you stick with trainee. Though that hasn’t stopped Mare from calling you ‘Junior’. Whether it’s to keep you at arm’s length or she just enjoys annoying the shit out of you, you’re not sure. You assume it’s a little of both.

Anyway, back to the quiet evening thing. You’ve been home for a few hours, settled into your tiny apartment with a slew of snacks and the latest crime docuseries on Netflix when your phone goes off.

You see it’s Mare and immediately pick up. “Hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah everything’s fine.” You can barely hear her over the background nose. Tons of people are talking over each other with loud music thrown into the mix. “Sorry to call you so late but I need you to come down to the bar.”

“Do we have a lead?”

“Not exactly. It’s Zabel.”

Instantly your heart drops and you get to your feet, immediately scouring the floor for your discarded shoes. “Did something happen? Is Colin alright?”

In the background, you hear, “Heeeey, hey, Mare! Is that her? Are you calling her? Lemme talk to her.”

You hear her struggle for a moment before telling him to knock it off. “He’s fine. Just drunk as shit,” she says once she manages to get the phone back from him. “Can you come pick him up and take him home?”

“Oh, um…alright.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No. No, not at all.”

“I just figured since you two—”

“Oh we didn’t end up…we haven’t…” You stop yourself from going any further and embarrassing the both of you. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Ever since Mare interrupted you and Colin about to go at it in his hotel room, things have been more than a little awkward. Despite confessing how much you like each other, neither you nor he has made another move. Before it was spontaneous and a spur-of-the-moment decision, fueled by passion and excitement. By now, you have lost yourself in your own head and you get the sense he has too.

The two of you can’t even make eye contact without him quickly looking away and blushing. It’s adorable, yet incredibly frustrating to say the least. But the case is more important and you’ve been more than happy to forget about the embarrassing incident.

When you get to the bar, you’re faced with a vastly different Colin than you’re used to. The second you walk through the door, he calls your name excitedly and stumbles over, beer in hand.

“Oh my gosh you’re here,” he slurs, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Mare! MARE! She’s here!”

“Yeah, I know, Zabel, I called her.” Mare’s face is as stoic as ever, and yet you can still see the corners of her lips twitch up into an amused smile.

“You wanna shot?” he asks you. “Yeah! YEAH, let’s get shots! Imma get you a shot!”

“No, Colin, I’m good,” you say but he’s already stumbling away. “Colin? Colin! Oi, whatever. How long has he been like this?”

“Since I got here,” Mare says, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Sorry, I thought you two were…I mean, the other night…”

“Nothing happened,” you say. “Since, you know, you interrupted. Things have kind of been awkward and we haven’t really talked about it.”

“Well, he’s certainly in a talkative mood tonight,” Mare says as you both watch Colin flag down the bartender and loudly ask for two shots. “Just make sure he gets back to the hotel in one piece, alright?”

“Will do, boss.”

“Thanks, junior.”

“Ugh, you know I hate it when you call me that.”

She smirks, patting you on the shoulder as she walks by. “I know.”

You make your way through the crowd to the bar where Colin is currently leaning. “Come on, Colin. I’ll take you home,” you say.

“Not before you do a shot with me!” he insists.

“Can’t, I’m driving. Besides, I think you’ve had enough.”

“Come ooooonnnn,” he slurs, nudging you with his shoulder. “Just’the one lil one? Then I’ll go…scout’s honor!”

You can’t help but chuckle, not used to seeing him so carefree and silly. After a moment of contemplation, you ease yourself onto the nearby stool. “Fine. Just the one.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Colin exclaims, sitting next to you. “Shottttsss!”

The bartender slides two shots over and you make a subtle motion for him to cut Colin off. He gives you a nod of acknowledgment, slyly swiping Colin’s half-full beer bottle as he moves on to take care of someone else.

“Okay, okay, okay, we need a toast,” Colin says, handing you one of the shots.

“Oh really? To what?”

“Hmmmmm…” Colin’s face scrunches adorably as he tries to get his drunk mind to think. “How ‘bout to us?”

You raise your eyebrow. “Us?”

Colin leans in close, pressing his forehead to yours, his voice dropping low. “Us. You know, me an’ you.”

“Didn’t know there was a me and you.”

“Could be. Should be. We did almost…you know.” He leans in close to your ear and loudly whispers, “Have sex.”

“Yes, yes we did almost have sex.”

“So?” he gestures with his shot, spilling some in the process. “To us?”

“To us then.”

You clink your shot glass against his before knocking the drink back, trying to hold in a cough as the liquid burns your throat. “Dear god that’s strong.”

“YUP.” Colin slams his shot glass down on the countertop, then winces when he realizes what he did. “Oops. Is’okay. S’not broken.”

“And we’d like to keep it that way,” you say, sliding the glasses off to the side. “So, what you say I take you home?”

“Wait, wait, wait, not yet. Let’s talk.” He puts his hand on your arm to stop you from standing. “We need’a talk.”

“About?”

“I’m sorry about the other night,” he apologizes, head slumping on your shoulder.

“You don’t have to apologize, Colin. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But I did. I did. I should’a talked to you about it after but I chickened out.”

“Yeah, well, I could have talked to you too. I guess I also chickened out.”

“Here’sa thing. I jus’…you’re soooo beautiful and I get all tongue-tied around you and say stupid shit and I know you’re going to realize there’s someone better for you, and I just…”

Realizing he was way too far gone to be having such a serious conversation in the bar, you slide your arm around his waist. “Hey, hey, let’s talk about it later, okay? Come on. Let’s get you home.”

“Home’s too farrrr.”

“I meant your hotel room.”

“I don’t like it there. Take me to your place.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I won’t try anything. Swear. I jus’…I don’t wanna go back to my empty hotel room.”

Your heart aches at the puppy-dog eyes he gives you and you find yourself relenting. “Fine. But you’re sleeping on the sofa and I’m not cleaning it up if you get sick all over yourself.”

“Thas’fair.”

You help Colin settle his tab with the bartender and then you escort him out of the bar, your arm still around his waist. His arm goes around your shoulders again but it’s mostly so he can attempt to walk straight. Eventually, you are able to load him into your car before climbing behind the wheel. The shot didn’t do much of anything and with your place being so close, you know you’re okay to drive.

Colin reclines his seat back, shutting his eyes. As you make your way towards home, you’re sure he’s fallen asleep until you hear, “Y’know, y’er really pretty.”

You smile to yourself, keeping your eyes on the road. “Thanks, Colin. I think you’re pretty too.”

“Really???”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, I’m so stupid. Should’a called you for a date the day after all that happened.”

“It’s okay.”

“NO! No is’not. I ghosted you.”

“Colin, I don’t think it’s ghosting if the other person doesn’t reach out to you either.”

“It’s not?”

“Not really. Pretty sure that just ignoring each other.”

“Oh. Okay good. Well, not good we ignored each other. Good you didn’t think I ghosted you. Cuz I would NEVER do that to you.”

“Good to know.”

“And you won’t do that to me. I know you won’t. You’re too sweet. You wouldn’t break up with me two weeks before our wedding.”

Your heart sinks when he says this. Chancing a glance at him, you notice how sad his eyes are. Truth be told, you don’t know much about Colin, mostly because with the intensity of the case, the two of you haven’t had time to properly get to know each other. But his drunk words are way too specific to be a hypothetical scenario.

“Is that what happened to you?” you ask tentatively.

“Yup. Not sure how it happened. Or why. She just woke up and said, ‘hey, I’m not in love with you anymore’. And I’m like ‘s’ok, can I put my bagel down first?’…” he babbles, head rolling to the side so he can look at you. “Jus’ like that. Done. No more.”

You reach over to take his hand. “I’m sorry, Colin. That’s…that’s really shitty.”

“Isn’t it? I mean…I don’t know wha’ happened. But…whatareyou gonna do?” He squeezes your hand and brings it up to his lips so he can place a sloppy kiss on your knuckles. “We’ve been driving for a loooong time.”

“It’s been five minutes.”

“Really?!”

“Just close your eyes. We’ll be there soon.”

“M’kay.”

Not long after, you pull into your driveaway, letting go of his hand so you can park the car and shut it off. You sit there for a minute, admiring his side profile as he lays there with his eyes closed. He is a handsome man. You can stare at him all day. Every time he greets you with that wide smile, your heart skips a beat and your stomach does a little flip-flop thing.

He must feel you staring because he opens his eyes and gives you a crooked smile. “We there yet?”

You smile back. “Yeah, we’re here. Let’s get you inside.”

“Okaaay.”

With you guiding him and doing most of the work, you help Colin up the walkway to your place, pausing now and then when he sways and puts too much weight on you. Once inside, you dump him onto the couch before going back to lock your front door. Briefly, you pause to send Mare a text letting her know you’re both safe, before shutting your phone off and tossing it onto the counter. You shrug out of your coat and shoes before rejoining Colin in the living room where you left him.

“This is a nice place,” he says, sprawled out on the couch with his head nearly hanging off the armrest. “Looks homey.”

“If by homey you mean small, then yeah. It’s real homey. Come on. Sit up so we can get your coat off.”

“Tryin’a strip me down, you saucy minx,” he slurs, leaning forward as you try to pull the long coat off his arms. “I know your game and I accept.”

Laughing softly, you manage to wrestle him out of the coat before he flops backward. “No games tonight, Zabel.”

“Fine but at least a kiss?”

“That’s definitely not a good idea.”

“Jus’a lil one…come on, lil kiss…” he says in a soft voice, trying to lean in. “Jus’a peck. Lil smooch.”

Still laughing, you gently force him to lay back down. “Not while your drunk. Maybe in the morning if you’re feeling better we can have a little smooch.”

“Been thinking about kissin’ you for days,” he admits as you start to untie his shoes for him. “And picturing you on top of me. That was nice. I liked that. Let’s do that.”

You toss him a grin as you slide the shoe off his foot. “Like I said. Maybe…If you’re a good boy.”

His smile widens and he wags his eyebrows. “I’ll be’a good boy for you.”

After ridding him of his other shoe, you tuck a blanket around him. “Sleep it off, Colin. We’ll talk in the morning.”

“Wait, wait, wait, don’t go,” he urges, grabbing your hand as you make a move to stand. “Not yet. Don’t go yet. It’s jus’…I wanna talk to you.”

“Okay. About what.”

“Everythin’. Anythin’. LIFE! Let’s talk about life.”

“It is way too late and you’re way too drunk to talk about life.”

“It’s just…the thing is…I’m getting to that age, right? I’m getting to that age where I’m starting to look at my life and I’m going…well, here’s what I thought it would be and…here’s what it actually is…” He throws his hands up with a sigh and a shrug, letting his thought hang there. 

You’re all too familiar with that feeling. And yet, you have no idea how to respond. He’s not the only one looking at his life and wondering what the hell. There you are, living in the same town where you grew up, a detective in training living in a shitty, tiny apartment with neighbors who press their noses to the window every time you set outside. You haven’t had a relationship in years, mainly because you know every single guy in town and have grown up with them. The thought of dating and settling down with any of them does not appeal to you in the slightest. Never did. Not that that’s the only way to live your life but it’s something you would like to do someday. With the right person.

“Am I making any fucking sense?” he asks, more to himself than to you.

“Yeah, yeah, you are.” You reach up to lay a hand on his cheek. “Get some rest, okay. I’ll be just in the other room if you need me.”

“Mmm, okay. Rest sounds good. Sleep good.”

He rolls onto his side, taking your hand with him and almost pulling you across his body. You manage to wiggle free with a chuckle. By the time you get up to shut off the living room light, he’s already snoring.

You have too many questions and not enough answers. This man, this big hero detective that is supposed to help solve the case seems just as lost and alone as you feel. You wonder if that’s why you were drawn together. Two lost, lonely souls who found each other among such darkness.

Too tired to go down that train of thought, you slip away to your room, wondering just how much Colin will remember in the morning.

[some-dr-writings]

Nagito, Korekiyo, and Rantaro’s S/O can’t convey their feelings

Nagito Komaeda:

·       One of the things that Nagito admired most about you most was your determination. No matter the task, you always put your all into it and would never give up till the task was complete! Unfortunately you seemingly had a talent for everything to go wrong during pivotal moments. At first Nagito thought it was his luck and would always apologize to you, that was till he heard tale of your other disastrous incidences with your class.

·       This even seeped into trying to confess to Nagito in the first place. You tried telling him but you got knocked out by a falling tree branch, you tried giving him a letter but the first time it disintegrated in the rain and the second attempt it got burned by a wayward spark, you tried calling him but you both only heard static no matter where you went, you tried texting it to him but either everything was auto corrected to other words or you misspelled everything so horribly the words together was meaningless, no matter what you tried out it always failed.

·       Exhausted from trying for a month non-stop to convey your feelings but to no avail you decided to take a break.

·       By laying face down in your local park stewing in your own misery, confessing feeling more like a burden then something exciting. Truthfully knowing yourself you might have chickened out, but damn it, at this point you at least wanted a chance even if you would miserably botch it up!

·       You mumbled a thank you to Nagito feeling him pat your head, something he always did when you got frustrated when things went wrong in the last moment. “There, there. You’ll find some way to push past this, I know you will.” You only groaned in response. “So it was really bad this time?” You groaned a little louder. “I see.” Nagito sat before you, stroking your head.

·       You rolled over, looking up to the man who sat before you, his silhouette cast against that bright blue sky. “Why must it be so freaking hard to just say I love you!? Look like this. I have a crush on you Komaeda! See was that really so hard! But NNNNOOOOOOOOO the universe decided that would have to be the one thing I have to have the most struggle with saying! It’s so stupid!” You stood up, begging to pace around. “Like really, of all things, why this specifically!? Do I ju-” You then tripped over your own feet, rolling down the hill and crashing into a tree and getting knocked out.

·       Nagito stayed by your side the whole time till you woke up. “You… love me?” “… OH MY GOODNESS, FINALLY THE MESSAGE HAS GOTTEN ACROSS!”

    Korekiyo Shinguji:

·       “Kiyo! What’s a full proof way of telling someone something without the message being warped or being misunderstood?” “… I’d say directly saying it like that would be one way.” “No it’s not! I could get tongue tied, or stutter, or faint while speaking or get cut-off any number of other ways!” Ah, so this must have been what was troubling you as of late. Korekiyo had noticed you had been acting antsy and admittedly he had been curious as to what was troubling you. “So, a full proof way of telling someone something. I do not believe there is a way that could never go wrong, but there could be a few ways that come rather close.” “UGH! But I need a hundred percent guarantee! Should I give you a blue feather? But have you even played those games!?” And you were now mumbling to yourself as you paced around, a habit you had when you were concentrating on something. You had to do something mindless when thinking hard on something like cleaning or walking, something to get the blood pumping a little. A habit of yours he found rather cute. “How do I tell you I love you without you misunderstanding!?” “Oh? Me?” “Yes you, now how do I do this? What culture are you studying-” “Well, I am rather fond of you too.” “No, that won’t work. Maybe send you a gift, but then-”

·       … Huh… you didn’t even notice. As cruel as it may be Kiyo thought it would be intriguing seeing how you’d try confessing.

·       You poured yourself into doing research asking him for assistance, looking through history for some perfect way of confessing. Kiyo was admittedly tempted to tease you but seeing how you’d go about this naturally, undisturbed, was more intriguing. You already spent much time with him, but it quickly grew and grew. Kiyo rather liked this development.

·       “So, Kiyo… if someone were to confess to you that they had a crush on you, what would be the perfect way?” “For me? Well… if I must answer I would say, I would like for them to… Hmm… I believe I’d simply wish for them to tell me.” “What if I told you I had a crush on you?” “I’d tell you I had a crush on you too, and would ask you out for a date. It is such a lovely day after all. Would you accept if I invited you?” “Yeah. Would you like to go for the date right now?” “Certainly. Shall we be off then?” “… I-I’d like that.”

    Rantaro Amami:

·       “Hey, Y/N. Want to go out?” Rantaro knew dating would be difficult given he was always traveling and searching for his sisters, but he liked you and he thought taking a chance couldn’t hurt.

·       He liked how you easily got flustered but never held back when giving or receiving affection. He liked how you tried your best to help him in his search. He liked how you always supported him but also took care of yourself and would step back if needed. He liked you you’d always send him morning and night texts everyday in accordance to whatever time zone he was in. He liked how you always sent him pictures of whatever gifts he had sent you showing they had arrived safely. He liked so many things about you.

·       Rantaro did notice something… it wasn’t bad but it was something he noticed. You never spoke of your feelings. Or wrote them. Or anything. But it was not for lack of trying. He had found crumpled up letters in your room about how you missed him and loved him when on his trips. On occasion he had caught you confessing your feelings for him to the bathroom mirror only to start stuttering and stumbling over your words. Rantaro found this adorable, it was always a pleasant surprise to catch this.

·       After an especially long trip you were there to pick up an exhausted Rantaro from the airport. He soon found himself on your couch, you draping a blanket over his shoulders. With you so close Rantaro couldn’t resist hugging you. Holding you tightly and closely he flopped over, wrapping you in the blanket as well. He lightly chuckled seeing the tips of your noses were touching. “I love you, you know that?” He could feel the heat of your blush radiating off your cheeks. “Ah, I, uh, I-I, I like, live-love you too? Oh no, did I mess up!? Did I say it wrong? Ah, I probably said something stupid!?” “No, you said it perfectly.” You buried your face into your hands as Rantaro held you even closer.

·       Perhaps… hearing you say it meant more to Rantaro then he had realized. It just… felt so good. “I don’t care if you mess up, stutter or trip over your words, just please keep telling me that in some way, please.”

[janevx]

you are my strange addiction| choi san

genre: kinda psycho au, sanxreader

summary: you and san were the most adorable and wild couple you can imagine. san love you like hell, but you didn’t know about his secrets.

---

 You couldn’t belive what happend. You couldn’t belive that love of your life lied to you. Few minutes ago your friend text you news that your ex boyfriend was part of mafia and he killed somenone, so now he is in psychiatrist. Now everything makes sense. Why ex?

 About two months ago San came to your house without smile. All strict and serious.

“Y/N we need to talk.”

“San? What’s going on? Did something happend?”

“You know that I love you the most in whole world, right? You are the most precious and important person to me, honey. I will love you until I die. You are my one and only.”

“Okay, but why are you telling me this right now? San, please tell me what’s going on?”

“I need to let go of you. I love you y/n, but we need to break up. It’s all for you.”

 You didn’t notice when tears start running trough your face.

“For me? You love me but break up with me? Break up with me for me? You fuckin liar!” You shouted. “Did you cheated on me? How can break up be for me?”

“You don’t understand this, my love. Remember no matter what I still love you.”

 And with this he left. He left like nothing happend. You trow yourself on bed and cry more. You were with San about 4 years, you really love him and you tought that he loves you too. How can he break up with you like that?

   Now it makes sense, he break up with you for your safety. Maybe he knew that police is about to find out, and he tried to hide you. You miss San like nothing else. You didn’t want anything, you just wanted to be in his arms again and talk about some things you two like. Have deep conversation with him. Cuddle with him and tell about your two problems. But he was gone.

 You can’t count how many nights your cried because of San. Because you miss him.

---------------

 You came back from university and you walked in to your room, but you had call. You didn’t know this phone number, but you decided to answer the call.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, why?”

“I am direcot of psychiatrist. This one when I work is your lovely Choi San. I have question. Do you want to meet with him?”

 It was obvious. You miss him and haven’t seen him in month. You couldn’t miss this chance.

“Of course. I want to!”

“Perfect. Can you be there tommorow? I’m gonna send you our address.”

“Okay, I can.”

“Awesome. See you y/n!”

“See you.”

 You were in shock, because you didn’t expecnt this call. Also, you were very happy that you will be able to see your love.

------------

 You walked out of taxi. You were at the end of South Korea. Day was rainy and gloomy. Not the best day to meet with your San, but you couldn’t change the weather. In front of gate was standing male all in black. His face was straight with 0 emotions. You were a little bit scared, because this place don’t look too friendly.

“Who are you lady?”

“I am y/n. Director called me yesterday and asked if I can came, so here I am.

“You need to wait. I have to check if it’s true.”

 It took few minutes, till you could walked in. When you were inside, next to your side approach some tall guy with a little smile on his face. He leaded you to San’s room. Everyhting there was so scary and you were really scared of San. How they treat him? Do they hurt him? Does he miss you? All questions in your head was messing around with you.

“Don’t be scared! It’s normal place. It’s always look like this.” He smiled a little.

“I mean.. ugh, it’s really sad place.” You looked around. “Do you know something about San?”

“Not really. I only know that they keep him on third floor, where are killers. It’s really strict floor. Also I know that he doesn’t like to talk with us.”

“Ah, I understand.”

“Did you know, that he is mafia member and he kills people?”

“No, I didn’t know anything.”

“You sure? I mean you were in relationship with him.”

“I said no.”

 This guy was really annoying. 

 After few minutes we arrived and stand in front of room number 101. You didn’t know when older man were standing next to you.

“Welcome y/n.”

------------------

 San was siting on the chair and look at man infront him. He didn’t say a single word since he was there. San knows that this can only make his situations look worse. He was silent and calm. Man in front of him spoke.

“I have surprise to you. I bet, that after our surprise you will tell us everything with details San.”

 Young man couldn’t understand what was happening, Surprise? He hide you and no one could tell about you, so it was impossible for them to find you,

----------------

“Welcome y/n.” He smiled. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Hey, open the door!”

 The door open and you saw face of your lover. He looked so pure and weak at the same time. They told you that you can walked in. Face of San was shocked. He couldn’t belive that he see you. He couldn’t belive that this motherfuckers bringes you to make him scared and talk. San love you and he doesn’t want to get you hurt, because of his mistakes and lifes. He was furious.

“Do you regonize her? y/n. Isn’t she your love?”

“You are fuckin bitch Seo. I swear, if I’ll be free, I’m going to fuckin kill you..” He said clamly, with head down looking at the ground. “Why the fuck do you mix her up in this?” Now San scream.

“Oh, look who finally spoke.” He smiled. “Oh no! We don’t mix her up, we want you to make you happy to finally see her.”

“How the fuck did you find her?” He was screaming and looked really pissed. You have never seen your love like this.

“Stop being so mad and enjoy your time with this adorable person.”

 They left you two alone. San was chained to the chair, so you need to walk closer to him. You were standing there and you couldn’t stop the tears. 

“S-san.” You crouched. “I miss you so much.”

“Did they hurt you? Tell you something? Threaten?”

“No, why?” You looked into his eyes. “San, I really miss you. Why didn’t you tell me something?”

“Because I love you and care too much about you, to let them to hurt you.” He touch your hand. “They take you there to make me talking. Honey, please run away.”

“Why? San I can’t leave you like this!” You screamed. “I love you and I can’t stand that you are hurt and they have you like this.”

“Y/N you really shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m not leaving. I will never let you go.”

 San was extremly pissed, but he didn’t want to show his furious to you. He wanted to kill everyone who ivolved you here. He wanted you to be safe, happy and healtyhy, away from this stuff.

“Okay princess. Let’s do like I say okay?” You two whispered and make this conversation looked like argue.

“But promise me, that you never gonna leave me alone.”

“I swear to god that I will never leave you, but now listen to me.” He smiled softly. “Now you need to run away, because they want me to speak because of you, because they know that you’re important to me. Ask them about toilet, there is window, that should be open. Take taxi, wahtever and come back to home. When you be home ask Seonghwa about safe place, and then I find you honey.”

“I don’t want to leave without you. What if you don’t make it.”

“Y/N please, trust me.”

“Promise me that you come back to me.”

“I promise.” You leaned, and let San to kiss you.”Now please go, and remember that no matter what, I will always love you.”

“No, don’t tell me this. Tell me when I see you at our new place.” You chuckled lighly so he too.

“Okay, see you honey.”

 You did like San told you to. They lead you to toilet and as fast as you can you run trough this window. You run really fast jus to go to Seonghwa.

 It took you some hours to be back at Seoul and at Seonghwa place. He let you walked in and looked at you with really serious eyes.

“I take you to safe place. You can’t take anyhting with you. Throw your phone away and don’t contact anyone, understood?”

“Understood. But what with San?”

“He will run away.” He shrugged.

“Okay.”

  Everything was so messed up lately. Why this couldn’t turn into good time?

“Don’t overthink y/n. He will be by your side really fast.”

“Seonghwa, i can’t. San is my love. You can’t understand this.”

“Of course I can!” He smiled. “You need to rest. Go to sleep when we arrived. I will have to leave, and you don’t open anyone. San propably has own keys.” He smiled more. “And don’t worry too much, he knows what he is doing.”

“If you say so.”

 The road wasn;t too long. Seonghwa left you and gone. You walked in and go straight to bedroom. You needed sleep and get some rest. Bed was really huge. You were that tired that you didn’t even notice when you fall asleep.

 About 2 A.M you woke up, because you want to drink water. A little bit sleepy, you went downstairs to grab glass of water. When you were about to grab glass you could swear to god, that you heard some footsteps. You turned around to check if someone is in, but you didn\t see anything. You thought it was your imagination, because you were still sleepy.

 But suddenly you felt light touch on your shoulder and you were ready to fight, but when you turned around you saw San.

“I told you I come back. You can’t get rid of me that fast.”

“Oh my god, San. Damn, you are here.”

 You two kissed like you have never seen each other and like it was your first time. You could feel longing between you two.

“I miss you y/n. You can’t even imagine.”

“All what’s matter is that you are here with me.”

“I will always be there honey.”

[angst-fairygodmother]

Light Fingers (The Umbrella Academy)

Diego’s vigilantism brings him repeatedly across the path of a young cat burglar. But as he finds himself developing feelings for the thief, he begins to wonder if there’s more to her than meets the eye, and whether they’re really on opposite sides. And as their relationship deepens, it brings with it a plot involving his estranged adopted father, and threatens to destroy all of them.

CHAPTER 5: REVELATIONS

Word Count: 4471  Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Reader; teased Eudora Patch x Reader Rating: M Content Warnings: fairly graphic description of injury, blood, language Cross-posted to AO3: here

Previous Chapter: Allegiances || Masterlist

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The first thing you were aware of was the high, tinny ringing. It was quite possibly the most annoying noise you had ever heard, and you were pretty sure it was coming from inside your own head so you couldn’t cover your ears and make it go away. Your eyelids felt heavy, like there was something keeping them from opening, and your mouth felt cottony. Your stomach roiled with nausea. The more of your body returned to your awareness the worse you felt.

“Ugh,” you groaned, voice cracking from disuse. As you forced your eyes to open, thankful that your power even in its most dormant form kept the light from burning them, you registered the meeting of concrete and grey-brown bricks wavering in your vision.

You tried to push yourself to a seated position and immediately felt resistance.

“Woah, hey, you shouldn’t move so fast,” Diego said, pressing lightly on your shoulder to hold you in place.

“Am I in your weird boiler room house?” you slurred. “How did I get here?”

You heard him chuckle. “Well after you passed out, I figured you could use some looking after…and then when you weren’t waking up…I was getting ready to take you to a hospital.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that sounded like you were worried about me,” you smirked, throwing back his own words at him.

“I was,” he said softly, almost as if he was talking to himself. “Of course I was.”

You found yourself at a loss for words, and not just because your head was still fuzzy and ringing (the feeling was fading some the longer you were awake).

“How are you feeling?”

“Like death slightly warmed over.”

He grimaced.

“Seriously, two questions: how long was I out for, and why does my leg still feel like it’s on fire?”

“It’s been a few hours. That’s why I was…”

“Worried?” you supplied as he floundered.

He nodded sheepishly. “Yeah. As for your leg, you did get shot. It was pretty bad. I stopped the bleeding but the bullet is…still in there.”

“What?!” you jolted up at that, ignoring the pain and spinning sensation, staring at Diego in shock.

“I didn’t want to do anything while you were unconscious! In case you’d prefer an actual doctor do it or something went…wrong…” you registered the tinge of fear in his voice and felt a little less mad at him for leaving a hunk of metal embedded in your calf muscle.

“Well…I’m awake now so if you think you can get it out safely…I trust you to,” you admitted softly, reaching out to rest your hand on top of his where it sat on your bedside.

It was then you registered that not only were you lying in his bed, but he was kneeling awkwardly beside it, and probably had been since before you woke up. Your heart fluttered at the thought that he had been watching over you, taking care of you.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep. Definitely.” You shot him a grin that you hoped looked convincing and not as crazed as you felt in that moment.

He nodded, rising from his crouch and wincing in a way that, once again, suggested he had been in the position for a while, moving about the fairly small room gathering the first aid supplies he’d need. Your eyes traced him as he washed everything down with rubbing alcohol and soap and water, as he pulled on a pair of cheap rubber gloves, and returned to your side.

“You’re going to have to turn for me to get to the wound,” he said, gesturing. “And so I can put down a towel so you don’t bleed everywhere.”

You rolled your eyes, complying with his direction.

“I notice you don’t have any lidocaine or anything there in your little bullet treatment kit…” you observed, biting your lip nervously.

“No, sorry. I could go out and get some, but it’s late so I don’t know what’s open and the sooner we get the bullet out the better.”

“It’s fine,” you said, your voice rising an octave, betraying your fear.

He knelt back down, carefully unwinding the bandage. You couldn’t help but stare down at the inflamed skin, the horribly red, still sluggishly bleeding opening in your leg, stomach turning at the thought that it was an actual hole through skin and muscle, and you were lucky not bone and not anywhere more severe than your lower leg. Diego, noticing your expression, reached over to give your hand a quick squeeze before turning to the work.

You hissed, doing everything in your power not to flinch away as Diego rested his hands on your calf.

“I’m s-sorry,” he murmured, and you frowned, catching the slight stutter in his voice, something which you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s okay. It’s…are you sure you can do this?”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah, I mean, I’ve dug bullets out of myself before so…”

“Okay, gonna revisit that later, but for now, I trust you. I still wish we had something to numb the pain first though…”

After that, things became a bit of a blur. You were pretty sure at some point you screamed. It felt like your leg was being rent open by the fiery claws of the devil. You must have passed out again, because the next thing you remembered was someone lightly tapping on your cheek and opening your eyes to see Diego’s face, eyes wide in panic and lip quivering, swimming into focus.

“Fuck me with a cactus, it would have been gentler,” you muttered, wincing. “At least tell me it’s over?”

He smiled, chuckling at your colorful phrasing. “Yeah, bullet’s out, pretty cleanly and I redressed the wound. Now you just need to rest and recover and keep it clean so it doesn’t get infected.”

“Well, thank you then, Doctor Hargreeves. I guess I owe you one, and should get out of your hair.” You shifted like you were going to try to get to your feet and he immediately reached out to stop you.

“You’re not…bothering me. And I’d rather know you were okay. Besides, there’s no way you can walk on that yet. Just…get some sleep.”

“You look almost as exhausted as I feel, and there’s not exactly another bed around…” you pointed out, watching him blush and look away with a slight flush of your own.

“I’ll sleep on the floor. It’s fine.”

“Diego…” you started to protest, but were cut off by a rapid knocking sound.

“Diego, you can’t keep avoiding me,” Patch called, from the other side of the boiler room door. “I know you were at the bank robbery so I need a statement, before someone else issues a warrant.”

“Really?” you groaned. “Terrible timing, Officer.”

“Relax, Eudora is…was…she’s fine. You’ll be fine,” Diego mumbled half-heartedly, moving to open the door and let her in.

You glared at his back as he did so, annoyed that he had managed to avoid the conversation entirely, and once again you two had danced, just out of each other’s reach. You shifted hastily and tugged at the quilt at the end of the bed to try and hide your injury without causing too much pain. Still, you whimpered softly, catching both their attention as she entered the little room.

“Y/N?! What the hell happened?” she said, rushing over to you.

“Heeey, Dora. Oh this?” you gestured down to your leg and the small spot of red seeping through the gauze. “Bank robbers. No respect,” you said with a forced chuckle and a shake of your head. You felt your head swim a little at the movement and began to regret expending the energy so quickly after the secondary trauma of Diego’s impromptu surgery. “Luckily it was just a little bullet and Diego here doesn’t make a bad triage nurse.”

“Wait you two know each other?” he asked, his tone maybe as much frightened as confused.

“While you were off the grid, we hung out. Dora’s great,” you said, flashing her a wink over his shoulder and giggling at his stunned expression, feeling strangely giddy.

“Y/N,” she sighed. “I think you need a hospital, not a little first aid from this idiot.”

“Nah, I’m fine. Why do you say that?”

“You just ‘winked’ with both eyes. And you look a little green around the gills.”

“Still knew I was winking though,” you smirked before frowning in puzzlement. “But I don’t have gills…”

You didn’t catch her response, or Diego’s as the darkness rushed back in to claim you and you slumped back into his bed.

~

Patch was headed for the payphone in the hall, probably to call an ambulance, while Diego hesitated, torn between stopping her and making sure Y/N was alright.

“Eudora, don’t,” he finally managed to get out. “She won’t appreciate it.”

“She won’t appreciate anything if she dies of blood loss,” Patch shot back, glaring at him. “Besides it’s just a hospital, what’s the problem?”

He sighed. None of this was his to tell. Y/N might never forgive him. But still, he had to try and make Eudora understand. He gestured for her to come sit beside him.

“Look. It’s not a serious wound. I’m pretty sure her exhaustion and slipping in and out of consciousness is from stress. I don’t think she’s ever…done something like that before.”

“Like what, Diego? Been in a bank robbery?”

“No,” he shook his head and his voice was soft as he continued, “stopped one.”

“I don’t understand.” Patch was frowning, that confused little furrow forming between her brows which Diego (and you) secretly found cute.

“You remember how I told you about my siblings and me?”

“Yeah your Umbrella School or whatever…”

“Academy.” He frowned at how quickly the correction, almost a defense, jumped out.

She rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, there were more kids that my father couldn’t get.”

“Are you saying Y/N has superpowers like you do?”

“Not just like mine but…yeah. She can control light or something. She had a more scientific explanation.” He shrugged.

“So the flares that stunned the robbers, and several hostages…?” There was something like awe on Patch’s face.

“Were her. When they turned a gun on that kid…she just reacted.”

“Shit.” Patch rocked back on her heels, pinching the bridge of her nose the way she always did when she was stressed, and Diego knew at least part of her was trying to figure out how that was going to screw with the reports, or if she was just going to conveniently leave it out. “But what does this have to do with taking her to the hospital?”

“She’s not…trusting doctors and hospitals is hard when you’ve got a big secret like this, especially when it contributes to the problem you need treated. Plus she’s stubborn; she won’t like being forced to accept help.”

She bit her lip. “I don’t like this at all. But if you’re sure…?”

He met her eye sincerely. “I am.”

She watched as Diego returned to his ministrations, checking your pulse and adjusting the bandages, which you had managed to rumple in your shifting about, such that the long gauze strips no longer fully covered the wound.

“You’re pretty good at that,” Patch mused. “And it’s obvious that you care a lot about Y/N.”

“You’re one to talk. You never let me call you ‘Dora.’”

She blushed, looking away. “It’s not like that. Not… really. Nothing like what’s between you and her.”

“There’s nothing…we’re n-not…” Diego suddenly found himself unable to look at either woman.

He had been in love with Eudora, once, and still felt strongly for her, even if the romantic connection between them had been severed and probably wouldn’t ever come back together. But there was something about Y/N that just felt right. She made him feel seen and understood and like he didn’t need to still be ‘Number Two of The Umbrella Academy,’ he could just be Diego. She made him smile, more freely than he could remember doing in years. He’d missed her terribly while he was away, while they weren’t speaking to one another, like there had been a piece of him missing. When he’d seen her collapse, he had felt like his heart stopped. But she also scared him. They were so different, so incompatible on paper. And he thought that having her just to lose her might actually kill him, so maybe it was better not to go there at all.

“Relax, Diego,” Patch said with a slight laugh, pulling his attention back to the room and her. “It wasn’t an accusation. I’m happy for you. And I like Y/N. She’ll keep you on your toes.”

He opened his mouth to deny once again that there was anything going on between the two of you, to assure her, but she shook her head and rolled her eyes affectionately. Still he blundered onward, changing tactics slightly but still determined to deny what he knew was real, what Patch could see with her own two eyes.

“She probably doesn’t even—“

Patch held up a hand to cut him off again. “Don’t give me that. Don’t use the excuse of not knowing what you could easily find out.”

“It’s not that simple, Eudora,” he sighed.

“Nothing about love ever is.” She stood up, brushing non-existent dirt off her pant legs. “I need to get back to work, but I hope you give what I said some thought at least. For both of your sakes.”

‘Love.’ The word echoed through Diego’s mind, but not in a way that felt intimidating or worrying. It felt more like suddenly having a name for the feeling he knew was there, like hearing someone else say it made it real. But that didn’t mean he wanted to say it out loud. Or did he?

~

The world swam slowly into existence for a third time, and you groaned, sick of the feeling as much as you were suffering any ill effects. Cautiously, you propped yourself up on your elbows, and the movement caught Diego’s attention. Almost immediately, he was up out of the chair he’d been sitting in and crouched by your side.

“How long was I out for?” you asked, hesitantly, ignoring the way your heart fluttered at his closeness and how quickly he’d jumped to your side.

“Do you mean since Patch made you swoon or in general?” he teased, smiling.

You rolled your eyes. “She did not make me swoon. Although if anyone’s swoon-worthy…but no, I mean how long have I been in the Bat Cave, total?”

“You’ve been in and out for…two days or so.”

“Two…shit!” you bolted upright, trying to get to your feet despite Diego fighting you on it. “I need to go, and hope I haven’t been fired yet.”

“You need to rest! And why does it matter to you so much if you lose your job?”

“What do you mean why does it matter? I need that job. You know for rent, and food, and generally being able to survive.”

He frowned, clearly confused. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s a reoccurring thing for you it seems. What exactly has you confused this time Hargreeves?”

“You’re a thief. You’ve stolen plenty. Why does a dead end job matter to you?”

“Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve tried to figure it out: why you work at the diner, why you’re always wearing the same faded sweatshirt and jeans when you’re not working. You’ve got all that money…”

“Is my sense of fashion actually being judged by a man who wears leather like it’s a uniform and not just an uncomfortable invitation to awkward sweat?”

“It is a uniform. And you’re avoiding the question.”

You rolled your eyes. “Self-imposed means it’s not a uniform. Just a…fashion?...choice.” You cocked your head to one side and intentionally exaggerated the question in your tone, making it clear to him what you thought of his pick of attire. He certainly wasn’t wearing it for comfort.

“You’re really going to insult me after I saved your life?”

“You really think I steal for myself?”

“Who else would you be stealing for?”

“Saving lives isn’t always just stabbing and punching bad guys.” Your eyes flickered away from his face, fixing on some invisible point over his shoulder.

“What?”

You shrugged. “I support myself with a day job and then at night, I take from rich assholes who really don’t need it, or deserve to hurt, and I give it to people that need.”

He fell silent, frowning and avoiding eye contact.

“Well, you don’t have to worry,” he said eventually, pointedly ignoring your revelation. “Patch called in sick for you.”

“A police officer calling me in sick? Great now they’re definitely going to think I’m a criminal and fire me.”

“You are a criminal.”

You glared at him, wishing you had something to throw, especially when your reaction made him chuckle.

“She told them you were a witness and were in protective custody. You should be good for a week.”

“So dramatic.” You rolled your eyes. “Thanks, I guess.”

“It was…her idea…” for some reason he wouldn’t meet your eyes again, and you were pretty sure he was lying to you.

“I don’t just mean the work thing,” you said, fiddling with your fingers. “You didn’t have to help me out. You could have left me in the bank, or dumped me on the EMTs.”

He shifted, sitting awkwardly on the edge of the mattress and twisting to face you, instead of kneeling beside you. Hesitantly, he reached out catching an errant strand of your hair between his fingers and twirling it distractingly. Only a stubbornness warring with yourself (and maybe a fear that if you moved too quickly you would pass out again) kept you from launching yourself forward to press your lips to his. You hated how his proximity and the subtle scent of him made your heart race, how he made you feel weak and dizzy in a way that was entirely separate from the blood loss.

As you sat there, not quite locking eyes, each watching each other, it dawned on you that you might actually love him. Strangely, it sent a sensation of calm flooding over you. It just made sense, so there was no point in fighting it, just deciding what to do with it.

“I saw your eyes when you were talking about what you thought they might do if someone found out you had powers,” he explained finally, reluctantly letting his hand drop back to his side. “I didn’t want to be the reason you were that scared.”

“Oh.” The word felt small and inadequate.

You reached out hesitantly, to rest your hand on his where it sat between you. He turned his up so that your palms were touching and laced his fingers through yours. You both sat there staring at your joined hands, each trying to figure out what it meant to yourselves and to each other.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there in the heavy, waiting silence. Finally Diego cleared his throat and pulled away, standing up.

“Are you hungry? I’m going to go out and get you some food, so you can get your strength back up,” he said awkwardly. “You should get some more rest.”

“Right, sure,” you frowned, biting back the questions dancing on your tongue. “Thanks…”

~

The next few days passed much the same way, with you trying to rest and recover, and Diego doing what he could to help you, including helping you change your bandages and giving you a literal hand when you started testing your weight on it finally. The thread of tension running between you was pulled taut and you waited for it to snap. Until, finally you couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Diego,” you started as you stood next to him, his forearm in a vice grip as you wobbled on your right foot and haltingly placed your left one on the cold concrete.

“Don’t start thanking me again, Y/N,” he said, shaking his head ruefully. “I keep telling you it’s no big deal.”

“Diligently nursing me back to health from a gunshot wound is no big deal?” you asked with a raised eyebrow and a demanding sharpness to your tone.

“No. It lets me know you’re okay.” He tried to shrug without moving the arm you were using for balance, resulting in a very awkward gesture and you giggled at it. “I’d do the same for anyone I cared so much about.”

You hobbled yourself around to be facing him, face blushing hotly. “You care about me?”

“O-o-of…c-c-c…” he gaped and floundered and the stutter that you had quickly come to recognize as a sign of his nervousness or uncertainty in himself was sharp.

“Relax, Diego. I care about you to, I just…it’s nice to hear it confirmed that the feeling’s mutual,” you smiled and gave a little shrug.

He stared at you, eyes roving your face as if searching for something. Whatever it was, he must have found it, because the next thing you knew, his free hand was cupping your jaw, thumb trailing across your cheek. And then his lips were on yours and the time for thinking or knowing was past you.

Your grip tightened further on his arm and the other hand curled around his shoulders, dragging yourself closer as his tongue parted your lips in askance, diving in to tangle with yours when you opened so willingly in answer, a moan escaping you only to be swallowed in his kiss. His arm slipped your grip to wrap around your waist as he felt you buckle, whether under the strain on your leg or the intensity of the kiss was uncertain and irrelevant to you both. Slowly, he backed up toward the threadbare chair in the corner of the room, dropping back into it and pulling you down onto his lap. You tangled your hands into his close-cropped hair, carding and tugging gently at it, making him groan, and his hands ran ticklishly up and down your sides.

Reluctantly, you pulled back, panting for air through your kiss-bruised lips.

“What the fuck was that?” you asked, eyebrow raised and staring down at him.

“I think I’ve wanted to do that for six months now,” he murmured in response, gaze adoring as he met your eyes.

“I’ve certainly been waiting for you to. Maybe I should get shot more often.”

“Don’t even joke…”

“So what changed? Was it just about admitting that I cared too?”

“Yeah, I guess. Or, actually, I think it was something Eudora said when she was here. Something she made me see…I don’t know…” he shifted uncomfortably as if trying to get away from your vision and his voice had just enough of a hitch that you knew that his stutter would come out soon if you kept pushing.

So instead, you gently brushed your fingers along his jaw to turn his head back to you.

“Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to explain…I just…I’m glad we finally got here. Now kiss me again.”

He smirked, arms curling around your back to draw you downward. “If you insist.”

~

A few hours later, you both sat at his little table, picking at your takeout.

“So, you have to get back to work soon…” he started awkwardly.

“Yep. I mean, it was a nice week hiding out in the Bat Cave, but I knew I’d to get back to reality eventually.”

“What will you do about, you know, the other thing?”

“Why? So you know when to go back to failing to catch me?” you teased, cocking you head at him with a smirk.

“No. I just know you could be using your powers differently, so I thought…maybe after everything you might have changed your mind on it.”

You growled in frustration, dropping the cheap plastic fork you had been using to nose the vegetables around in your lo mein. “Not this again, Diego.”

“I’m just saying…”

“Well I really wish you wouldn’t. You can’t say you care about me and expect me to believe that, no matter how sweet you are, when you turn around and try to change me with every second breath.” You heard your voice crack, and fought back the accompanying tears of anger. You had thought, no hoped, that now that your feelings were out in the open, he would be more accepting.

“I’m not trying to change you! I just saw what you did at the bank—“

“What? Nearly kill myself? I spent two days slipping in and out of consciousness! I’m going to probably be limping for weeks. I am NEVER doing that again.”

“You can take direct action to save lives! Isn’t that worth a little risk?”

“Why don’t you ask your brother that?” You instantly regretted the words as they slipped off your tongue.

Immediately, it was like sheet-metal shutters slammed shut behind his eyes, those warm chocolate eyes that you loved so much now gone and stony.

“Shit. No, Diego, I…I didn’t mean that…or I kind of did, but I had no right…”

His jaw twitched but he didn’t speak.

“Fuck. I fucked everything up already. Shit. Please say something? Even if you want to tell me off, which I totally deserve…please?”

“We need to change the bandages on your leg.” His voice was flat. You had heard security alarms with more emotion.

“Oh. Right.” You sighed, twisting awkwardly to pull yourself out from under the table and give him access to the wound.

“Then I think you should go.”

You were silent for a moment, watching him closely as he rounded the table and carefully unwound the gauze from your leg.

“No,” you said softly. “I don’t think I should.”

He turned his head up to look at you, mouth agape.

“We keep doing this Diego. Every time there’s something between us, we end up snapping at each other and saying something that hurts the other person and shutting each other out. And I don’t want to do that again. I really like you, and I trust you and I want to be around you, like all the time, and that’s all new and confusing and…terrifying. But I don’t want to lose it.”

“What are you saying?”

“That we should, maybe, talk this out like adults this time?” you smiled sheepishly, hesitantly.

Silence rang over the room, but you felt gentle hands on your leg as he continued to inspect how your leg was healing.

“You’re…right. We should…talk,” he said finally, and you felt the relief settle over your body, tension dropping away.

“Glad you agree,” you said with a slight smile.

[maybe-your-left]

Cowboy Blues: Its a Date, Or Is It?

Settling into a new routine has always been hard. You were so happy back in North Carolina. Well, happy was kind of a stretch, but you were comfortable. Everything was familiar and felt like home. Even after the falling out with Josh… boy was he someone you didn’t miss. The long nights of tears and screams followed by hours of pain and suffering. You cried tears of relief and unrelenting joy when the judge granted your restraining order. The next day you packed up all that was left of your life and got a new job at a clinic in West Virginia. 

Your alarm clock woke you from your thoughts, sighing before swinging your legs outta bed and making your way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror was so different nowadays. No longer did you have to hide your face with layers of concealer to hide the shame from others, your (Y/E/C) eyes weren’t obscured by the burst blood vessels from repeated abuse. You could finally have your hair in whatever style you liked, not having to follow Josh’s rules of how a “lady was supposed to look and act”. Quickly washing your face from all the grime on your pillow you pulled your hair back into a messy braid with a bun atop your head. Throwing on some new scrubs, you grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter and rushed out to your car. Earl had gotten it all fixed up in a couple of days and dropped it off so you didn’t have to take the bus to work anymore. It took you all but fifteen minutes to arrive in front of the clinic, the head vet tech was there smiling at you when you walked up. 

“Morning Doctor (Y/L/N)!” 

“Good morning Shelby, you’re here early today. I’m usually the only one who gets in at 7.”

Shelby let out a breath you didn’t know she was holding and opened the door for you. Waltzing in you started flipping on lights to begin opening up. 

“Well, I got a phone call from the emergency pet line while I was getting ready for work so I just let him know to get here at 7 when you showed up” her voice trailed off while she stared out the front windows. You walked over to Shelby and stared out the window to see what she was looking at. Suddenly a car pulled into the parking lot and a man rushed out of the driver’s side. He crossed over the front of the vehicle and picked up something rather large and rushed to the front door. 

“He got here fast didn’t he?” Shelby spoke up. 

Turning towards the back entrance you let Shelby check in the man. You were setting down your bag in your office, getting your supplies ready for whatever emergency he was bringing with him. 

“Sure thing, can you tell me again what happened to him? I need to make sure Dr. (Y/L/N) knows before we take him from you.” Shelby said as calmly as she could. It was clear that the man was panicked, his voice was strained like he had been crying for some time. Walking back into the lobby you stopped dead in your tracks. Before you stood none other than Clyde Logan. Your knight in shining armor, your rescuer from weeks ago.  You cracked a smile, eyes searching his pained expression. He seemed to be at a loss for words, or he didn’t remember who you were. That thought stung since this wasn’t the first time you had thought about him since you departed. You thought about the embarrassing moment where you caught him coming out of the shower. If you were bolder you would’ve ripped that towel right off of him and rode him instead of El Wood. You had spent many nights in bed sweating up a storm thinking about his rough hands massaging and caressing you while whispering in your ear what a pretty cowgirl you were. Imagining how his muscular arms would hold you up against the wall while you chanted his name over and over and over again. You let out an audible whimper when you were shoved back into reality when Shelby spoke up again. 

Like throwing a cold bucket of water over you, you realized he was here for an emergency and the only dog you saw on that property was Leroy. You rushed over to Clyde’s side and peeked under the blanket that was cradling the poor thing. Clyde’s chest rose in shallow breaths as you looked over Leroy. It appeared he was still breathing but like his owner, he was only getting in shallow breaths, his fur was matted and spots of blood were visible through the patches of fur around his neck. 

“H-he got out this mornin’ an I found him fightin’ with a snake… I got it off a him but…” Clyde trailed off and looked at you with tears in his eyes. He choked back what seemed like a sob when you motioned for him to follow you to the back rooms. 

-----

Clyde left the clinic at about 10, the nurses assured him that Leroy was doing okay and that Dr. (Y/N) would make sure to call him when it was time to pick him up. He had spent all morning in the lobby pacing, panicking, dreaming of the worst possible scenario for his lil’ buddy. He had gotten Leroy when he moved out of Jimmy’s place to the family ranch. His sole companion that was with him day and night was now hurt because Clyde hadn’t checked for snakes before lettin’ him out. 

He left his number at the front desk along with the number for Duck Tape in case he didn’t answer at home when they called. He wasn’t sure where he was headed but he mindlessly made it to Mellie’s salon. Maybe a haircut would calm his nerves, after the traumatic moment with Leroy, he also had seen that girl again. He wasn’t sure why he was blessed that day to come upon such a fine young lady but he was thanking his lucky stars every night for the moments they shared. Being a southern gentleman and all he tried to keep his “unsuitable” thoughts outta his mind but there was something about her. 

Walkin’ into the salon Mellie smiled at him and motioned for him to sit in the chair. Draping him in the cloth and brushing his hair Clyde finally started to relax. 

“I didn’t know you were gonna come in today Clyde”

“Wasn’ plannin’ on it Mel,” Clyde said barely above a whisper, “I was in town already and needed a trim.” 

After a long pause, Mellie brought Clyde to the sink to wash his hair. Heatin’ up the water to a warm sudsy temp, using the tea tree shampoo as he likes. 

“Leroy’s at the vet. Got caught by a snake this mornin’.” Clyde finally said, “Got him there until they call n’ say it s’okay to bring him home”. 

Mellie hummed in response, she never pushed Clyde to talk more than he needed to, unlike Jimmy. She was truly just there to listen and support him whenever he needed it. 

Finishing up at the sink he got up and sank back down in front of Mellie’s mirror as she started trimming away. Clyde had finally begun to relax after telling Mellie about Leroy when she piped up. 

“Earl said you had a girl at the house the other day”. 

Clyde's eyes nearly popped outta his head. Earl knew better than to be tellin’ Mellie bout’ girls, Clyde was never one to hold a secret but Mellie always tried to work her “Mellie Magic '', which usually ended in him gettin’ his heartbroken. 

“He said she was quite a looker, want to tell me where you found her? Or should I just keep cutting hair until you talk?” her smirk on her face was evident even if Clyde wasn’t making full eye contact. The scissors she held were dangerously close to his ear, threatening to cut the hair coverin’ em too short. “I don’ know what yer talkin’ bout”. 

“Is that your final answer Clyde?”

Eyes darting between Mellie and her scissors he knew he would have to cave or else he would suffer having a bowl cut for the next few months. “Her car broke down outside the house, I couldn’ jus let her walk off”.

“And what’s her name?”

“(Y/N)”

“That’s a pretty name, never heard of her. Is she new?”

“Not sure, she didn’ say. But she works as a vet where Leroy’s at.”

“Have you made a move on her?”

Clyde pauses before answering, he wasn’t sure he wanted to share with his little sister about how (Y/N) barged in on him naked after a shower. She would get the wrong impression. The last thing Clyde needed was Mellie thinkin’ bout’ him and (Y/N) naked, not that he would mind it.

“Clyde, don’t go all moony-eyed on me, have you asked her out yet?

“O’ course not” Clyde spit out. He couldn’ imagine doin’ that, what if she said no? He wasn’ sure he could take her rejection. 

“Why don’t you ask her to the bar? Get her a couple of drinks so she meets people in town.” 

Clyde swallowed, it did seem like a good idea in theory. Nothin’ could go wrong at his

bar. He would be in control of the situation. Not saying another word Mellie finished his hair cut n’ he left to get the bar ready to open. 

-----

The rest of your morning was uneventful after the Leroy emergency. Taking him from Clyde had been heartbreaking, to say the least. The man looked like he was going to pass out when he told him he couldn’t stay back while you worked on Leroy. Apparently he had been pacing the lobby and wouldn’t sit still for longer than ten minutes. The nurses told you he came up to the counter and asked about Leroy every time he sat back up from his seat. It was cute how much he cared about his dog, not many pet owners stay when they drop off their animals, but Clyde stayed until finally, Shelby convinced him to go stretch his legs. 

At about 3 you checked in on Leroy and he was happy as can be, you could hardly believe he was bitten by a snake near hours ago. He was so glad to see you, he clearly remembered you, unlike his owner. It was time to call Clyde and let him know he could come pick him up. You also got to go home and rest after a long day's work once Leroy was sent on his way. 

Dialing the house number you waited… “This s’ the Logan Ranch leaves a message.” Beep. 

Ugh, you guessed you had to try the second number, whatever Duck Tape was you had heard it many times to know that Clyde was a regular. 

Ring, Ring, Ring… ugh come on pick up. 

“Duck Tape bar, this s’ Clyde.”

Clearing your throat you replied, “Hey Clyde it’s (Y/N) at Community Animal Hospital, I just wanted to let you know Leroy is here and ready to go home.” Smile beaming through the phone you hoped that by saying your first name Clyde would remember you. 

“Thank y’ very much. I’ll be there soon I’m jus’ down the road' ' Clyde blurted out and hung up quickly. 

Sighing you went back and got Leroy ready to be discharged. Letting the nurses and other staff members go home while you waited for Clyde. Sitting behind the front desk you waited with Leroy sitting between your knees while you scratched and pet his head. 

No more than five minutes had passed before Clyde strode through the door. You hadn’t been able to get a good look at him this morning but now here he was in all his glory. A dark-gray button-up smartly tucked into denim wranglers adorned his broad chest. His beard seemed better cleaned up compared to this morning and his hair seemed a little shorter, not that you paid that much attention to his ebony locks. 

“Hi again sunshine”. 

His words melted your bones, the sickly sweet nickname he called you echoed in your ears each time you fell asleep. Shaking yourself out of the trance he put you in you spoke up, “Hey Clyde, I got Leroy right here for you. Let me just walk you through the medicine he will be on for a few days”. You walked your way around the counter and stood to his right. You immediately noticed how much bigger he was up close, your eyes barely reaching to his shoulders. You had to strain your neck to look at his face. And what a face it was, covered in little freckles and moles you resisted the urge to touch them all. His eyes bored holes into your soul, stealing the air out of your lungs. It was like two perfect pools of brown amber were right there for you to dive into. 

“What’ll I be givin’ him now?” Clyde’s voice jerked you from his face back to the paperwork in front of you. 

“Oh yeah, he just will be taking a couple of these” you lifted the green pill bottle towards Clyde “Twice a day for 3 days until the swelling goes down. After that just use sparingly if he starts itching at it. There is also some gel to put on the sores that need to be done every night before he goes to sleep and that won’t stop until they go away”. Clyde nodding in response to your instructions. A smile pulled at his lips when you finished. 

“I can’t thank y’ enough fer helpin’ Leroy. I don’ know how I can repay y’.” 

“Well I’m a doctor, it’s in my job description” you smiled up at him. After what felt like hours he spoke again. 

“Well’m a bartender so why don’ I get you a couple a rounds on the house tonight?” 

You were intrigued, you hadn’t planned on going out but it was a Friday and all you were going to do at home was watch Netflix and possibly touch yourself to the thought of Clyde. Now you had the chance to, maybe, touch him for real. 

“Uh sure, I’d love to come by”. 

“See y’ at 10?” 

“It’s a date” you blurted out without realizing what you said, not wanting to take it back you just gave him a nervous smile. He said nothing as he gathered up Leroy’s supplies and called him out to his car. 

TAGLIST: @finn-ray-nal-beads @morby @kirah36

authors note: I am having so much fun writing this you guys have no idea. Also be ready for smut *saddles up* 

[toxicpineapple]

Please give me your amami essay, I'd like to know the TEA! I was also gonna ask for the mastermind essay, but honestly I REALLY wanna hear your thoughts on his characterization (and your thoughts on his shitty fanon characterization)

HOOO BOY OKAY. this is good, it gives me an excuse to procrastinate on reading that new amasai fic on the latest feed. (note that i REALLY WANT TO READ IT, i’m just anticipating commenting and tbh the spoons,,, i lack them. it’s okay though i’ll get over it.)

so!!! let’s start with general attitude, because i think that amami’s is really unique. he’s a subversive character. in general i feel like that was the biggest goal with his character design and personality combination-- he looks like a total playboy, kaede even comments as much moooore than once. but he’s the absolute opposite. i’ll rant about that in a bit. i’ve already gone off on a tangent and i said i was gonna talk about attitude.

amami is laid back, but not to the point of complacency. y’know what i mean? like, he’s relaxed, but he’s on his guard, too. his speaking style is pretty casual (typically he’ll greet people with a “hey,” whenever he’s slightly uncomfortable he’ll probably say “haha”... this isn’t necessarily a canon thing but i like it when people have him talking in sentence fragments. ex. “forgot to grab my jacket” or “wanted to get a snack” sort of thing) and that’s just,,, the type of person he is. he’s casual. it’s remarkable considering how wealthy amami is-- though bear in mind, he still IS wealthy, so there are bound to be things he doesn’t understand about people-- that he can be so normal and like, down to earth, in a way. when people mess around with him he’ll probably just laugh it off.

to cite a fic i read once that had REALLY phenomenal characterisation, imo, ouma ends up dumping a bucket of water on amami’s head (on accident; there are some semantics and i won’t get into it but again the fic is really good and funny and you should totally read it) and amami just squeezes out his shirt and makes a couple cracks before walking away. (sorry this isn’t meant to be a “dumping love on fics” post but GOD that fic is hysterical.) he’s an enabler too, at least i think so-- remember that anthology chapter where kaede, shuichi, and kaito are trying to catch ouma and kaito sets an “amami trap” to stop him? all ouma has to do is flutter his eyelashes and go “pleeeaaase let me go amam~niichan!” and then he just. he does. what a fucking doormat i can’t believe him.

he’s like that though. i feel like big brother stuff is kind of his weakness. (and not in a kinky way alright i will destroy you. he might make a joke about having a sister complex in one of his ftes but he DOESNT that joke was just tasteless COME ON RANTARO WHFKLDSJFK) which brings me to his whole older brother thing, because like,,, YEAH. guy grew up with twelve younger sisters!!! and he remarked in his ftes with shuichi that they’re mostly step sisters, which means he just.... has a nurturing personality. i mean amami is somewhat conservative (if you try to come on to him during salmon mode you will be brutally rebuffed; amami tells u to keep your horny thoughts to yourself, though you shouldn’t be ashamed of having them) so i imagine he’s not the biggest fan of his father’s tendencies-- not that i don’t NECESSARILY interpret his father’s behaviour as him sleeping around.... it’s possible he just likes children and deliberately marries women who already have kids so he can take them... i mean it’s exceedingly decent to keep considering ur step children to be your children after a divorce so i have a hard time reconciling this common image of rantaro’s dad as some kind of player figure with the impression i got of him in my head but that’s just my daddy issues coming into play again so ignore me-- and yet he still considers all his sisters to be his sisters.

not to mention he feels a great deal of like, responsibility, when it comes to taking care of them. i find it impossible to believe that all the losses were his fault. you could ARGUE that the one he tells you about with his younger sister was to be blamed on him? but i mean, amami is a child. he didn’t even know his sister was following him out. sure he blames himself for it but there’s no real good way to blame him just considering that,,, he’s a kid. and he was so young-- he was obviously so young-- when it happened. so like, not to be all Good and Bad on you, but i do feel that amami is fundamentally a good reason. and you SEE that too, in the killing game. i’m certain he was on the fence about trusting that note he woke up with. would you trust it? he had no memory whatsoever of writing it, all he had were the words “ultimate hunt” and a map of the school to guide his way. i imagine he wasn’t even sure if he should do what the note said. but then ryoma started talking about sacrificing himself for everyone else, and rantaro probably thought, “well... if i have a way to get us out of here, even if it doesn’t work, i can’t just let ryoma sacrifice himself without having tried.”

rantaro is self-reliant too, i think. in the talent development plan mukuro remarks that she noticed he was injured a good number of times, but never said anything about it because she felt like he was trying to keep it under wraps. (note: good idea for an amami and mukuro friendship fic. must write. someone remind me.) i think amami kind of feels isolated from his classmates? either because he has these perceived notions of like, independence and whatever, not burdening anybody else with his problems (honestly not to go chabashira on main but wtf men ask for help c’mon i promise if you find a person who’s worth being in ur life they won’t treat you like shit for feeling ur feelings) or just because he’s not around a lot. i think amami is the type of person to invalidate his own problems a lot, or at least downplay them to others. he blames himself for all his sisters going missing, took the responsibility to find them all. you know the blow that’s going to be to his education? traveling around the world looking for twelve different people? and he plans to keep doing that!!! forever!!! ugh ;-; poor babey. but anyway i feel like he doesn’t want to tell anybody about his problems because he feels like it’s his thing to deal with.

i also believe that rantaro is a bit prideful. i mean, anyone can be prideful under the correct circumstances, and in fact there is a great deal of pride that simply isn’t addressed by the fandom in analysing characters and that makes me really sad because pride is such a SEXY character flaw but i’ll leave that alone for now. he hates being told to give up on what he’s doing. i mean everyone in his life has been telling him to stop looking for his sisters. that’s got to suck, but also, DAMN look at what his reaction was. this utter refusal to open up to anybody. shuichi’s ftes with him are spent pretty much just trying to get amami to stop squirreling around and actually TALK to him. amami asks shuichi at one point if he has any siblings and when the response is negative, amami immediately assumes that shuichi wouldn’t understand, would tell him to quit. just like everyone else.

(i mean, even with kiyo and mukuro, whose circumstances mirror his almost painfully at least in willingness to sacrifice stuff for their siblings, he doesn’t tell them what he’s doing, just that he’s doing it for his sister-- singular-- and that he would do anything for her. kiyo and mukuro!! out of ANYBODY, they would understand. in tdp they DO talk about it-- kiyo encourages him to keep searching-- as his friend...... fuck amaguji is such a good ship even if the implications of kiyo saying he wants to meet rantaro’s sister after he finds her bc she must be suuuuch a good person if he’s doing all this for her are uhhh not great-- and mukuro immediately understands when he says it’s to do with his younger sister. like, full stop. she just goes “okay” and goes serious. all at once. damn rantaro, mukuro, and kiyo really do be a power trio huh. i need to write more fic about them i miss them.)

this is more into baseless conjecture so take this as you will, but i also think rantaro is kind of,,, easily distracted lmao. he mentions helping out a village with a disease-- been a while since i’ve seen his ftes, sorry for any inconsistencies-- among other shit and like... bro what are you DOING. you have sisters to find. and he can’t be getting injured all the time, getting wrapped up with gang violence and all that, looking for people who were lost traveling. i mean sure, you could say they went all over the world and got wrapped up in all sorts of mess, but more likely they stayed in roughly the same area, waiting for him to come back. and also? i have a hard time believing his sisters were lost in these remote forest places people always put them. COME ON, who the fuck goes to some village for a vacation? a RICH person no less. i’m on another tangent. sorry. but yeah, i love the people who write rantaro as an absolute airhead. i headcanon that he has no way of judging the passing of time and thus is the absolute worst in the bathroom bc he sits there for twenty minutes thinking about the universe and then walks out like “:) ok ready to go” like wtf are you even doing there stupid akljdf anyway.

i think rantaro is softhearted and thoughtful. in his ftes with kaede he demonstrates an ability to look past what people show at surface level-- you can ask him about miu, kiibo, or kiyo and he’ll give u Good Fucking Insight(tm)-- and analyse their intentions more closely. and i mean this is just from a couple day’s interaction. he’s down to earth for sure, understanding when people are intimidated but also caring and observant. (his “talk about a first impression” line is so fuckaindgf.... good for his characterisation. i love romantic amamatsu but he so clearly takes an older brother role in those ftes, he’s really such a sweetheart,,,, hnadhfkj ;w;) rantaro is just. he’s patient with people. and selfless and kind. idk it’s all the good stuff. warm smiles and indulgence. all the way. probably lets kokichi steal his lunch.

THAT BEING SAID: i think rantaro also has a very serious streak. he doesn’t show it a lot but there are moments. he’s self-sacrificing-- i mean, obviously. he was the ultimate survivor, after all. some people hc that he got there by killing, or maybe everyone else in his game died but one person, but bro that doesn’t make any sense???? no. what happened was there were probably like three people left, and monokuma was like “one has to be sacrificed” and rantaro thought, welp. it’ll be me then. and i wouldn’t say the choice would be immediate because rantaro DOES has self preservation instincts-- he’s only human-- but i don’t think he’d have let anybody else make that decision. i think ultimately he would try to protect other people.

he can be scarily confrontational too. i do believe he’d usually only do it in the defense of others-- like, his base instinct is to protect. i read a fic once (oumami, unfortunately) where ouma was committing crimes and went to hide behind rantaro and rantaro instinctively moved to protect him, and that’s.... that’s good characterisation. point one to the oumami stans, point zero to me. motherfucker. (love u oumami stans, it’s just not my thing.) i really like it in fics when he’s stern, lecturing people for hurting other people, but i also think rantaro is too understanding to be truly unforgiving. like if two people got into an argument and one came out of it more hurt than the other, i don’t believe that amami would be unsympathetic to the less hurt one. i think he’s mature enough to take a look at the situation and go, well, okay.

i think he’d be TERRIFYING when angry. he’s patient, y’know? so it takes a lot to get him to that point. he’s really, ah, accommodating of people. puts up with a lot of bs kind of thing. but i imagine the best way to get him to snap is by hurting someone he cares about. and at that point: ur fucked. i’ve never written it before because i’m terrified of what i’d do with that kind of power but.... imagine the shuichi whump. holy god.

i’m NOT here to talk about shuichi whump (though i’m down to do that any time of day believe me) so i’m gonna like. shhhhiiiiiiffft.

i project on characters a lot so at this point it’s difficult to distinguish if some of my characterisation things are like, actually characterisation things? or just me venting, so like, take nothing i say as canon, but also,,, akdsjf we love a man who bottles up his emotions.

because rantaro just doesn’t have the TIME to be crying all over the place. he was probably a total wreck when he lost his first sister. and his second. and maybe even his third. but then he started to gather his composure, more and more. because if there’s anything that rantaro has in excess, it’s composure. the more losses he suffers the more of a shield he builds up. and the self hatred and the guilt and the blame and the responsibility are piling up and up and up, but god he hates it when other people see him sad, because he needs to be the strong one, he can’t just pile that up on other people. that’s not their weight to carry, and besides, he’s the older brother, he should be able to deal with his own problems. he’d just be burdening the people he cares about by letting them see his demons.

and then he doesn’t have any coping mechanisms because he never lets himself feel enough to cope, and when people get close enough to actually CARE about him, when people notice he’s upset or struggling and offer him help, he doesn’t know how to deal with it-- and god he hates lashing out at people but it’s so much easier to deal with the consequences of being mean than the consequences of breaking down. only conflict is scary when he’s one of the causes so he needs time to recover, and well, what better way to do that than to get on a plane or a boat and go look for his sisters? after all he’s wasting time whenever he’s just sitting around, they’re still out there and he needs to find them, so might as well just keep pushing himself to the limits, because it’s his fault they’re lost anyway...

something mukuro said to rantaro in the talent development plan stuck in my brain. like, initially it’s just a funny and cute interaction (rantaro even blushes and a blushing rantaro is a GOOD FUCKING RANTARO) but when i thought about it more i was like.... huh. hm. angst ideas. mukuro makes a joke about rantaro going over to her stand at the festival to flirt with her-- i think that’s the context, i know it’s play-boy related-- and rantaro assures her (as he always does) that he’s not that kind of guy, and mukuro agrees, saying she was just pulling his leg and that he seems like the kind of person who gets dumped because he doesn’t show his emotions enough. rantaro laughs, blushes, and says “haha, not touching that one,” and akdjfnnnnnn god mukuro you’re so blunt i love you fkdjf but wow. i usually have rantaro as not having dated anyone, just because i feel like he kind of hyperfocuses on finding his sisters? and given that he’s like sixteen (seventeen at the MOST) there’s not much of a timeline for when his sisters got lost. in my fic search i had to cram all the losses into a four-year period and damn that was rough. anyway i just don’t think he’d really prioritise romance. but that reaction implies that that’s EXACTLY his experience with romance, which makes a bit of sense because mukuro is ridiculously sharp, and also it’s,, it’s just sad idk poor rantaro. getting dumped because he’s like the emotional equivalent of a doorknob when it comes to his own feelings.

i do think rantaro is a bit cowardly. not in the sense that he’d shy away from danger-- i think he’d RUSH INTO IT HEAD FIRST because he’s a man or whatever, i know he respects women but he does seem to hold some of those very stereotypically masculine ideals of constantly protecting those around him, which is like.... ok toxic masculinity mcgee can u and kaito stop throwing hands every time u see each other ty-- but more in the sense that he avoids,,, confrontation. emotional confrontation just ain’t his thing. and i think he’d rather run away from it or otherwise find some way of ignoring it than try to address his problems.

he would, with that in mind, probably try to associate with people who don’t push the matter. kiyo and mukuro, for example. they both have a fair amount of baggage themselves so they’d probably be respectful. ryoma is lowkey enough that he just, he wouldn’t bring that shit up, that’s uncool. i also think rantaro would get along REALLY WELL with kaito, and i actually don’t think kaito would pull his sidekick stuff with him? just because in a way they’re kind of kindred spirits, and i think kaito would see an ally in rantaro before seeing someone to try to nurture, so they’d probably have some kind of a truce like, if you don’t force me to be vulnerable, i won’t force you. one of the reasons why i love amamota so much is because it involves the two of them growing to care about each other beyond that sort of unhealthy camaraderie and breaking down each other’s barriers and i just..... hhnnfhhdkfj they could be so good for each other but nobody wants to talk about thatjslfkj

you weren’t asking for my amamota mess lmao sorry anon i get sidetracked SO easily. but yeah, amami gravitates towards people who wouldn’t try to get him to be more honest with himself. and i honestly think the v3 cast would be pretty good about that overall, except for shuichi who is a detective and has a habit of sticking his nose in places it shouldn’t be, but i see no reason to write that out because amami’s ftes already display that beautifully. (well, that’s a lie, i’m absolutely plotting out a slowburn in my head already that involves shuichi stripping down his walls one by one, but forget about all of that rn we don’t need to talk about why amasaimota is my ot3.) also he is softer on childish people like ouma and himiko. ain’t nobody wants to TALK TO ME about how brilliant it would be if rantaro and hiyoko were friends because hiyoko has such problems in that department and he would take one look at her and go hm. i’m adopting her. and he’s so fucking patient and nice and she’d lose the will to make fun of him and i have to do ALL THE GODDAMN WORK AROUND HERE but it’s fine. at least i get to write it.

i’ve described the fundamentals of his characterisation pretty well by now i think. i have some throwaway headcanons, like uhh,,

he’s claustrophobic

plays the guitar and the ukulele

he prefers warm weather and perishes in the cold

high pain tolerance

he’s a Good Cook

doesn’t like sex jokes (they make him uncomfortable)

asexual (i do like a good demisexual hc at all times of day tho)

master of piggyback rides

does his own piercings

impulsive as hell

gets lost easily but can always find his way back

has a lot of scars from travels

hands are rough and calloused (again from travels)

morning person

smells like evergreen (you know i had to, you know i did)

Radiates Heat Like A Fucking Toaster Oven

good hugs

hates tying his shoelaces

likes being the big spoon :)

has a tongue piercing

i said “some throwaway headcanons” but i ended up listing way more than i mean to. i’ll make a separate list of my rantaro headcanons someday and talk about them all in detail but for now, uh, there’s that.

SO AS FOR THE RANTARO CHARACTERISATIONS I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE:

god where to fucking begin. actually i know exactly where to begin. it’s my least favourite one just because, like i said at the very beginning, rantaro is a subversive character. i mean i think he’s kind of a low hanging fruit when it comes to that. there are plenty of other subversive characters in the dr series but rantaro is like that. you expect a flirt and u get,,, a sweetheart. but then some people (usually the ones who ship him with female characters exclusively though i will see it on occasion in an amasai or oumami fic) decide to throw that out the window and make him a total playboy!! and listen, i have no problem with people who are a little flirty. we’re kids!! flirt ur heart out!!! and hey, that’s not what this is about but y’know what? so long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual, then yeah!! exercise your sexual freedom and sleep with whoever you want to!!! i don’t think there’s anything wrong with messing around a little, dating who u wanna and experimenting with ur tastes and preferences. if rantaro WAS a playboy, then there would be nothing wrong with that. i would love him just the same because he’s such a fundamentally GOOD character.

except that.... he’s.......... NOT. you slaughter one of the biggest aspects of his character by throwing away what matters to him and making him some hunky-deep-voice-dreamboat dude meant to sweep kaede/tsumugi/whomsteverthefuck off her feet. rantaro is one of those characters where he’s so blatantly not that kind of person, and it’s like. it’s an affront, almost, to portray him that way? and i do believe you should have the freedom to write what you want, since we’re in that age (aside from romanticised pedophilia and incest; that shit ain’t cute, i say this often but pro-ship DNI) where u should be able to take some liberties, but it’s just. hnnn. it’s so frustrating. rantaro does not know how to smolder! if he DID smolder, he wouldn’t even realise he was doing it. he doesn’t have people lying at his feet, okay? he’s too flaky for that. i wouldn’t say he’s unreliable but he definitely ain’t at school as much as he should be.

another one that i hate: st-stalker? what the fuck? that is not sexy that is creepy and weird?

another another one that i hate: yandere? what the FUCK??? that is not sexy that is glorified ABUSE???? the yandere trope is AWFUL bc you’re taking a controlling relationship and turning it into a fetish. NO. if he limits ur contact with other people, if he follows u everywhere, if he threatens ur loved ones, if he tries to control you, ladies and gents and nonbinaries, he’s not a yandere, he’s an abuser and you need a fucking restraining order. actually, people of ANY gender or sex can perpetuate this behaviour and IT IS NOT CUTE. I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT BOUNDARIES U SET IN PLACE, IF YOUR FREEDOM IS BEING RESTRICTED THAT IS ABUSE.

hate it when people make rantaro violent. hate it when people make rantaro a murderer. hate it when people make rantaro controlling. hate it when people make rantaro overtly sexual. some kind of sultry deep voice dominant kind of figure. dude, what the fuck? i don’t,, want to make any public comments about sex positions because i think that’s kind of Strange to just talk about on a post, but i do think that the way people portray him for their smuts is,,, idk it’s weird. i’m not gonna kinkshame u but like. :eyes:

i will however accept rantaro as a thrillseeker, or a highstrung rich boy, or a total space cadet, or a himbo, or a cryptid. these are all very good interpretations of the Mans. just, like. be wary of making him two dimensional. a good character is multifaceted. if you can take a trait that clashes with all of these and SELL ME ON IT, i will buy it. if u give me good justifications, or even just good writing?? then i will accept it.

the long and the short of it is, anon, he’s my favourite so i think about him a lot. i love writing rantaro. he’s just, he’s a Guy. y’know? He’s A Good Dude, If You’ll Give Him A Shot. :) we don’t get to see very much of him but i think that there’s plenty of material if you overanalyse everything, which, as you probably all know by now,,,, i absolutely do.

thank you for the ask, this was a delight to spend an hour talking about.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XXXIII

It was a love story from the very beginning

In Love

(8x07)

Hello my dears! Another meta from this series, and this episode was so so heartbreaking, my friends. And written by Buckner and Leming. I know what you'll say, not everyone likes their writing, okay. But you can't deny this was one of the most heavy in Destiel content...

I want to say thank you to my beautiful friend @agusvedder . She made the first for this meta and discussed with me the episode.

Okay, let's play on!

We gotta get out of this place

People... There's a song playing at the beginning of that classic Destiel scene when Dean sees Castiel on the road...

The song's name is We gotta get out of this place, by The Animals.

And these are part of the lyrics...

In this dirty old part of the city

Where the sun refused to shine

People tell me there ain't no use in tryin'

Now my girl, you're so young and pretty

And one thing I know is true

You'll be dead before your time is due, I know

(...)

And I've been workin' too, baby (yeah!)

Every night and day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)

We gotta get out of this place

If it's the last thing we ever do

We gotta get out of this place

'Cause girl, there's a better life for me and you

Now my girl you're so young and pretty

And one thing I know is true, yeah

You'll be dead before your time is due, I know it

(...)

Sounds like someone who was in one dirty place trying to get his love out of there, working hard to find him, because he wanted to give him a better life, or get him home... And he failed...

Mmmm who could be? 🤔

Well, so, Dean was moved by just one desire in Purgatory, find Cas and together come back to home. But this plan he had, failed.

And because he couldn't handle the pain of it... His head invented the whole context in which Castiel didn't got out from there...

And not just that, he grew a huge guilt inside his heart, because that's the only way Dean Winchester knows how to handle things. He always blame himself ...

And because he misses Castiel so much, and he feels he failed him, when this song was playing on his car, he recalled Castiel, and the longing was huge, and there you have Cas walking by the side of the road. And Dean saw him, and he tried to go back, but Cas wasn't there anymore.

When he came back to the cabin, his brother noticed the puzzled face, and this is what he said to him...

DEAN stands in the middle of the room holding a six-pack and a paper bag.

SAM You look like you've s– well, I was gonna say, "You look like you've seen a ghost," but you'd probably be stoked. Uh, you okay?

Sam saw his brother struggling with something, he was odd... So he had to ask. But the king of avoidance just said I'M COOL.

Now... When they were on the motel room, and Sam was sleeping, Dean saw Cas through the window, remember that? And his face was... Ugh... Priceless. He stood up and went to the window, but Cas wasn't there anymore.

And then Sam woke up, and he saw something was going on with his brother... His brother who couldn't sleep...

SAM Dean? What's going on? Are you all right? [He throws back the covers and sits on the edge of the bed.]

DEAN

I don't know. I just saw something.

Dean is about to open to his brother, because now is the second time he saw Cas. And he knows it was him. So, he really doesn't know why he's seeing him everywhere. Is the power of his longing that drags Castiel who's too trying to materialize in front of him.

SAM Uh, you saw what? [He stands up and walks over to DEAN.]

DEAN Cas.

This time he says it. He says his name.

SAM Cas? Where?

DEAN: Right there. And – and – and earlier, on the road. I feel like I'm seeing him.

Dean is confessing this kind of ashamed, because he doesn't know how his brother would react to this. I mean, the man is seeing Cas everywhere... What is that? It sounds so romantic that it hurts... But Sam is empathic, and he senses his brother is feeling guilty...

SAM That's... not possible. I mean, you said it yourself. You made it out and he didn't, right?

Sam is trying to made Dean to get stick to reality. Cas isn't there. You are not seeing him, you think you are seeing him, but he isn't there.

DEAN I tried so damn hard to get us the hell out of there. [He turns away from the window and walks a few steps away.]

SAM I know you did.

Sam is seeing through his brother, he sees he's suffering and part of him is in awe with such pain. So he tries to make him feel better by saying Dean did his best to save Castiel.

DEAN (with his back to SAM] You know, I could have pulled him out. I just don't understand why he didn't try harder.

Now, again, the distortion in Dean's memories, the disguise he put over the real scene. Just because is too painful.

SAM: Dean. [He walks over to DEAN, who turns to face him.] You did everything you could.

DEAN: Yeah, but why do I feel like crap?

SAM: Survivor's guilt?

IDK if Sam is suspecting here, I think he does, because the way Dean is behaving, is not just the words he's saying. There's something else there. Dean misses Castiel horribly. So he came out with the survivor's guilt, jus because is the only thing he could say.

DEAN Hmm.

Dean knows that's not because he's feeling like crap. Because he already knows he is in love with Castiel, and he wanted to bring him back home, with him. Together. Because he prayed to him every night, and when he found him, he was happy. And he worked hard to bring him back. And he failed.

SAM If you let it, this is gonna keep messing with you. You got to walk past it.

Sam is trying to give one last advice. But isn't enough...

One side love?

We all recall the scene in the bathroom, when Castiel appears. Remember this is a parallel with Bobby appearing beging Dean in the bath, because we need to make the big difference here between FAMILY LOVE and ROMANTIC LOVE.

After this we had an interrogation from Dean, who's doubting about the cause of Cas being there. Because what he remembers of that, is Castiel let him go, falling down the hill, and being weak. So Cas was weak and he couldn't make it. How he get out from Purgatory then? So he's mad. Pretty mad, he couldn't get him out, so who could?

CASTIEL Oh. I'm dirty.

DEAN: Yeah, well, Purgatory will do that to you.

He's mad, and mostly because he recalls too Cas putting a hand in his shoulder and saying those words... Thank you for everything... Dean is feeling maybe Cas didn't trust he could put him out of Purgatory... All those ideas are running his head. And he's mad.

But then, we had this jewel...

The classic boner scene, showing us Sam reaction in contraposition with Dean's. Is clear here. Dean is seeing Cas, shaved, clean and with his usual wardrobe. The Mighty Hot Sexy Angel he knew. And his reaction is awkward, he, acknowledging his true feelings now, can't stop feeling like this. Can't stop his heart anymore. Because he loves him. It will be worst now, and it will be awkward now being by his side. Because he knows he is in love with Castiel. So this reaction is showing us something had changed in Dean about Cas.

And remember Benny cleaning himself and getting out form the bath... And Dean's reaction to that? Well... Difference between FRIENDSHIP reaction, and ROMANTIC reaction. Is just perfect!

And Sam is there again registering the whole thing. Sammy knows is born slowly...

Another scene that show us Dean is acting weird because he know he loves Cas, is one of my favorites Destiel stares.

Look at this... Is amazing, because CAS is just talking about the case and the Prophets and wherever, and Dean first felt surprised because CAS is standing there close, then he just stared at him with those eyes people have when they're looking at their crushes. That heart eyes glare. Cas watches him, and then he comes back to the conversation. And Dean making the check out. Eyes-Lips-Neck. And whoa... The face after this... Is a face of realization... I'M SCREWED, I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM.

And one more thing about this, the motel room is Destiel color coded. Watch the walls... Green and blue flowers...

That, my friends, is the consequence of acknowledging he loves Castiel not as a bro, or as a best friend. But as a male angel.

Then... In the car, Dean recalls his fake memory about Purgatory...

He needs to clarify with CAS, so... We had this scene...

DEAN Cas, can I talk to you outside?

DEAN and CASTIEL get out of the IMPALA.

CASTIEL What?

DEAN Exactly. What? What the hell happened? Back there. Purgatory. I told you I would get you out. We were there! It was like you just gave up. It's like you didn't believe we could do it. I mean, you kept saying that you didn't think it would work. 

This is what made Dean's heart aches... Think about Castiel not trusting him. That's the daga in his heart... That's what his brain came out to, this is painful but is better than truth for him. And this is the foreshadow for the crypt scene. Dean disguising his truly feeling with words like TRUST he DOESN'T TRUST ME even than HE DOESN'T LOVE ME LIKE I DO. Is better talk about TRUST BETWEEN FRIENDS. And not LOVE. So... The trust is a replacement for being in love.

And he points there I DID EVERYTHING TO GET YOU OUT OF THERE. And he did.

I DID NOT LEAVE YOU!

His heart is a mess and his brain is giving him this ideas. Is giving him GUILT because that's what Dean Winchesters can manage. GUILT. And not a brokenheart. Not the idea of being rejected. Of being in one sided love.

We had the Moose Interruptus aaaand let's go to the second talk...

I didn't want to save everyone, I wanted to save you.

When they were out of Crowley's dominium, they had this chat outside, because CAS was feeling weak, and he didn't listen Dean's warnings.

DEAN That was a bonehead move back there. You could have gotten yourself killed. Why didn't you wait for me?

Again... The trust disguising Dean's true fears to loosing Cas.

CASTIEL Well, I didn't get killed. And it worked.

Cas is used to work alone. He's a warrior. So Dean being worried about that, he can't understand the depth of it.

DEAN And if it didn't?

CASTIEL It would have been my problem.

Cas knows Dean is feeling some kind of guilt, so he tries to bring back that matter. Because he doesn't know Dean is in love with him, so the whole situation needs to be clarify. Dying or not is my problem. Getting out fr Purgatory not not is my problem too.

DEAN Well, that's not the way I see it.

Okay... Now the card is on the table, and Cas picks it.

CASTIEL Hey, everything isn't your responsibility. Getting me out of Purgatory wasn't your responsibility.

Period. This is it. He wants Dean to figure the point out. Because he doesn't understand, if they were there, why is Dean being like this?

DEAN You didn't get out. So whose fault was it?

When Castiel heard these words he gets it. There's something wrong with Dean. He's recalling things wrong. Because he's throwing the whole bag on his shoulders... And that's not what happened. Dean has not fault about it.

CASTIEL It's not about fault. It's about will. Dean, do you really not remember?

Cas understands now, Dean disguised the memory of it.

DEAN [laughs shortly] I lived it, Cas. Okay, I know what happened.

CASTIEL No. No, you think you know. You remembered it the way you needed to.

Cas is the best psychologist ever. You invented a memory to cover the truth, because the truth is more painful.

The guilt again, he can't handle fail Cas. He just can't. He's mad at himself. But Cas will show him the true memory.

And is worts... Painful and worst...

CASTIEL See, it wasn't that I was weak. I was stronger than you. I pulled away. Nothing you could have done would have saved me, because I didn't want to be saved.

Ugh! He pulled away, rejection. He didn't want to be saved. Why? He didn't want to come back with him? With Dean? Together?? He doesn't love him the way Dean does... Is a one sided love. Cas wanted to stay in Purgatory, and he didn't want to come back with him. The truth is worst than his fake memories...

And the brokenheart is showing all over his face. It seems he is about to cry.

DEAN: What the hell are you talking about?

CASTIEL It's where I belonged. I need to do penintence, I needed to be out. And I saw that clearly when I was there. (Again... The Purity of Purgatory, Cas knew what he really wanted, like Dean knew what he really wanted. He wanted his angel) I... I planned to stay all along. I just didn't know how to tell you. You can't save everyone, my friend... though, you try.

And Cas thinks that's the pain in Dean's heart. Because he wants to save everyone. To save the world. But not now. Not back then in Purgatory. In Purgatory Dean wanted to save Castiel. Because he loves him.

And Cas knew Dean wouldn't abandon him, so he just made the way to that portal, and when he saw Dean was safe, that he will come back, he let that left him go. That's loyalty.

And Dean's heartbroken face is too much... Is really so sad. One sided love... Ugh...

To Conclude:

Dean saw Cas everywhere because he was longing so hard for him, that Cas was trying to reach him.

Cas and Sam thought Dean's pain was because the guilt he felt because he couldn't save Cas, but he disguised a more profound pain (being rejected for Castiel, one sided love) with a new less painful memory and guilt.

In this episode we had two boner scenes, that showed us a change of behavior from Dean. Dean knowing he's in love with Cas is feeling flustered and anxious. Like a teenager with his crush.

I hope you enjoy this one. See you in the next Chronicles!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname

If you want to be tagged, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous volumes, here are the links... Vol. XXXI and XXXII

Buenos Aires October 16th 2019 9:52 PM

[dear-dreamie]

To celebrate you finally being done with exams, and them just finishing another successful comeback, you, Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun all decided to get as drunk as possible. Haechan was invited, but ultimately had to abstain due to his 127 promotions, much to his dismay, and Jisung and Chenle were both going to be staying at Chenle's house for the night, so you had all decided that the DREAM dorm would be the best place for it. So far everything was fine, you were all slightly tipsy, being two thirds of the way through the first bottle of the night, but nothing serious yet, and all lying down in the living room, staring at the ceiling.

"Y/n, my dude, my bro, my guy. I love you, but you have got shit taste in booze." Jaemin said, taking another swig from the bottom shelf bottle of vodka you had supplied.

"Not all of us are idols. I'm a college student, and I have a minimum wage barista job, I'm broke as fuck, so this is all I could afford. If you hate it so much, just stop drinking it," you retaliated, reaching to take the bottle, but he snatched it away, slapping your hand, and looking at you, insulted.

"Fuck no. Hey, does anyone know what time it is?" Jaemin asked, taking another mouthful.

"Time is but an abstract concept, coined by clockmakers so that they could sell more watches, and utelised by the capitalist system to put pressure and stress upon each one of us to work ourselves down to the bone, just so the rich man gets richer." Renjun replied monotonously, taking the bottle and swigging.

"Twelve thirty-six," Jeno said, checking his watch. "I'm bored, let's play a card game, or something."

"Okay."

--------------------------------

"Hmmm, three of hearts," Jeno says, putting down his card.

"Okay, uuuuuuhh, wild card, pick up four," Jaemin goes, placing down an Uno card.

"Nice try, but, Ditto, I choose you!" Renjun exclaims, throwing down a Pokemon card triumphantly.

"Hey guys? What the fuck are we actually playing?" you stare at your hand, consisting of playing cards, Uno cards, Pokemon cards, Snap cards, and a gift card.

--------------------------------

"Right, but when you shake laminated paper and it makes that sound, "—"FWUBWUBFWUB" —"Yes, precisely, thank you, Jeno." You tell the boys your favourite sound.

--------------------------------

"I'm going to kill fifty people and an octopus," Renjun says with absolute certainty, and determination in his eyes. Jeno looks at him worried, but Jaemin looks at you weird, as if you had anything to do with this decision.

"Why would you kill and octopus, Injun?" He asks.

"See? Nobody ever cares about the fifty people."

--------------------------------

It had gotten much later, and you and Renjun had exhausted the usual topics of ghosts and aliens. You were now on the subject of cryptics. It seemed you two were off in your own world, with him trying to stay upright by clinging to your shoulders. Jeno and Jaemin were watching, noting how the alcohol had affected Renjun way more than anyone else, as he hadn't even realised he was practically cuddling his crush. But they had.

"Bigfoot, but clean shaven. Barefoot." You provided proudly, with a nod of your head. Behind you, Renjun let out a huff of air as he nuzzled further into your neck.

"Nah, that's Mr. Clean," he says, and you can feel his lips moving against your neck, causing you to blush. You hope neither Jeno nor Jaemin notice it, and even if they do, you hope they just brush it of as the booze.

"What the fuck?"

"You two are the reason I have anxiety."

--------------------------------

It was nearing 5:00 am when you all decided to turn in. Jeno was already in his bed, leaving after having a whispered conversation with Jaemin, during which they kept stealing glances at you and Renjun, who was still stuck to you like glue, even though you were trying to set up the sofa to sleep on.

"Y/n, I really don't think it'll be good for your back to sleep on the sofa like that. You already complain about it enough as it is, you should just use a bed." Jaemin said as you were starting to try and get settled.

"I can't be arsed climbing upto Jisung's bed, so it's this or the floor." You knew what Jaemin was getting at, drunk Jeno isn't as good a whisperer as he'd like to think.

"Well, why don't you sleep with Renjun? He seems nice and comfortable on your shoulder, and you wouldn't want an upset Injunnie on your hands, would you?" Jaemin smirked, knowing you would either cave now, or when Renjun started moping. "Yeah, sleep with me. You're soft, and warm, and cuddly, and I loooooooovvvvvveeeee youuuuuuuu lotsssssss. Loooooooovvvvvveeeee yooooooouuuuuuu." You started off towards his room, because you knew Jaemin was right. A drunk Renjun was a needy and emotional Renjun, and there was no way out of this. As you were walking down the hall, trying to keep to a straight-ish line, you heard Jaemin cooing at you both, so you flipped him off as you closed the door.

Pulling back the covers, you get Renjun into the bed, and go switch off the light. When you get back and begin to lay down, he pulled you in, really closed, and drunkenly kissed you. Granted, it wasn't so much a kiss as Renjun just pushing his face into yours, but your heart still shit itself. After a few more confessions of his undying love for you, and how adorable and lovable and beautiful you are, Renjun buried his head in your chest and fell asleep, not long before you.

--------------------------------

You woke up before Renjun the next day, and felt warm all over at the memories of last night. Playing with his hair was all it took for Renjun to start grumbling and waking up. "Ugh, ah, fuck, that hurts," clenching his hand in a fist, he realised he wasn't laying on a pillow and froze for a second before slowly looking up at you. "Oh, hi..."

"Hey, there. Do you remember anything from last night?"

"Clearly not enough. Could you fill me in?"

"Well, you got really clingy about 3:00 am, and haven't let me go since, except for when I put you in bed and turned out the light. You also kept telling me that you love me lotssss, and then, just as you were falling asleep, you pushed your face against mine, which I can only assume was supposed to be a kiss. But, that's about it." Whilst telling him all of this, you were still playing with his hair, just at the bottom of his head, and he had moved up to be eye level with you on the pillow.

" Listen, I'm really sorry about all of that can we just forget any of it ever happened. I really really am sorry, and I ju-" You cut of his rambling by giving him a proper kiss this time, and looked him right in the eye.

"No, because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I love cuddling you, and you're the greatest thing to happen to me, and I loooooooovvvvvveeeee youuuuuuuu lotssss, too, and I want to be with you, as much as you do me, apparently. Now, tell me you love me, and cuddle me until we either have to eat or use the bathroom." Renjun looks at you, almost in awe, and dumbly nods his head.

"Yeah, sure, I can do that. I love you more than anything in this whole world, Y/n L/n."

"I love you, too, Huang Renjun."

[just-for-cal]

Post-Concert Livestream - [c.h]

word count: 1559 warnings: swearing, pure teeth rotting, heart melting fluff,  summary: your secret relationship isn’t so secret when Luke shows it off during a livestream

The Sydney concert was always one of the largest, wildest, and loudest concert that the boys put on.  Always going all out and just completely losing themselves to their music and their fans.  And afterwards, they would crash hard.  Really hard.

But tonight, when the five of them made it back to their bus, Luke had decided he wanted to do a livestream to share the experience and gush about how grateful for their fans he is.

Calum had tugged (y/n) with him onto the sofa of the bus, just enjoying some time with her.  They’d been together for nearly a year now, and had managed to keep their relationship pretty private.  With the exception of the other boys.  But the public eye hadn’t noticed their shift from friendship to something more.

It wasn’t that he was ashamed, or embarrassed, he loved (y/n) with his entire being.  They’d mutually agreed to keep their love life a secret from fans and paparazzi for the mere reason that it always sparked drama.  Leaked photos and hate comments were the last thing either of them wanted, and they didn’t want it to cause a rift in their relationship.  So they kept up their image of being friends while around anyone else.

That also meant their friends and family had to witness their more loving moments.

Like now, with Calum leaning his back against the sofa, cradling (y/n) in his lap and resting his head on her shoulder while he rested.  (y/n) wasn’t near as tired as him, but she hadn’t just put on a grand show.  So she just carded her fingers through his hair and whispered praise about his performance.

“You did so good baby,” She murmured, kissing his slightly sweaty forehead.  “Love watching you get in the zone like that, you’re so cute”

He chuckled into her neck, adjusting his head to get more comfy against her.

“Always my number one fan” He told her quietly, making her smile and cuddle into him more as well.

“Hey guys, it’s Luke, from Five Seconds of Summer,” Luke’s greeting made everyone groan a bit, realizing he was starting a stream.  “And I wanted to say thank you to everyone that made tonight amazing”

He went on to thank the viewers that had been increasing by the second the longer he was filming.

Ashton was the only one able to muster up the energy to really join him, while Michael was making noodles in the microwave, and (y/n) and Calum were too busy resting up to provide any sort of appearance in the stream.

“We could just go to bed,” (y/n) murmured into her boyfriend’s hair, but he shook his head, holding her tighter.  “Or not”

“Jus’ wanna cuddle you” He muttered.

“Well you could cuddle me in bed?” She suggested, but he didn’t reply, and she assumed he was moments away from passing out right there on her shoulder.  Not that she minded, opting to simply comb his hair lovingly.

“You guys are the sweetest!” Luke was saying to the viewers as they left comments and hearts on the livestream, all of his energy regained just from it.  “Ashton, look at all these”

you guys are so cute !! post-concert glow looks good on u ugh i wish i could’ve seen the show tonight where’s mike and cal? the show was fucking awesome tonight!!!!!

The comments went on and on, popping up every second with more flattery and cute emojis.

“Mike, Cal, get in on this!” Ashton hollered, earning a string of curses from behind the curtain where the bunks were, and a quiet shush from (y/n).

“Cal’s asleep” She said softly, and Luke walked over, flipping the camera around to display their current position.  Calum totally knocked out, holding (y/n) securely in his lap, her arms around his neck, a hand in his hair, and his head resting in the crook of her neck.  (y/n) smiled at the camera, leaning her cheek on the top of his head.

At this, tons of notifications kept zooming in.  Comments, hearts, screenshots, people saying things in all caps, Luke’s phone was going berserk.

OMG ARE THEY A THING I HOPE THEY’RE DATING ARE THEY TOGETHER???? THEY’RE SO CUTE MY SHIP IS SAILING!!! LOOK AT HIM!! ^^ LOOK AT HER!!!!

“Well you two are certainly popular,” Luke laughed, reading some off to (y/n).  She giggled at a few, said thanks to a few others, all while staying in Calum’s embrace.

“You should do your thing,” Ashton suggested giddily, but (y/n) hesitated, not sure if she should with the audience that Luke was streaming to.  “Come on, show them your talent! The people wanna see”

“Alright, alright,” She gave in, and tilted her head down to see Calum, her hands cupping his cheeks and pulling his heavy head away from her to press her lips against his softly.  He woke up almost right away, pulling her into him closer to kiss her properly.  And if the viewers weren’t shocked before, they definitely were now

HOLY SHIT OHMYGOD IT’S HAPPENING THEY ARE DEFINITELY TOGETHER WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? HOW LONG FINALLY WHO MADE THE FIRST MOVE ?!?!?!?!

“Smile,” (y/n) whispered when she pulled away.  “You’re on camera”

Calum turned to see Luke there, still holding his phone up to them, and the bassist’s brows furrowed as he looked back at (y/n).

“Guess it’s not a secret anymore” He mumbled.

“Alright, that’s enough from us, goodnight everyone” Luke gave a wave to the camera before ending the livestream, leaving millions of fans in a shock.

“Who knew you guys had such a fanbase,” Ashton said, scrolling through Twitter on his own phone.  “Those pictures are already blown up, they’re all over the place.  And everyone seems so excited”

“Of course they are,” Calum said, lifting (y/n) up in his arms bridal style.  “We’re adorable”

With that he turned and carried her back to the bunks, struggling to open the curtain with her in his arms, but he managed somehow.

“So loud,” Michael muttered, pulling is own curtain in between the top and bottom bunk shut for more privacy.  “E’ryone’s always so loud”

Calum lifted her up and rolled her on top the top bunk on the opposite wall, making her giggle softly as he climbed up and in with her, tugging shut their own curtain.  It felt like routine when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into snuggle with him.

“You don’t mind that we’re not a secret anymore?” She asked him as her fingers played with the collar of his black tee shirt, and Calum shook his head.

“No,” He answered quietly.  “I’m glad it’s out, tired of never gettin’ to kiss you in public,” (y/n) smiled at him bashfully, eyes flickering up to his.  “Besides, it’s been so long now, and we’re much more serious than we used to be.  Back then it was… different.  We were younger and friskier and didn’t need the prying eyes, but it’s different now”

“You think we’re serious?” She asked, knowing full well that they’re relationship had matured greatly in the past year.

“Course we are” He hummed back.

“Me too,” (y/n) said as she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.  “They were bound to find out somehow, might as well tease them a bit first”

“I’m sure we did just that tonight,” Calum said, his eyes falling shut as his fingers traced lazily against her skin beneath her shirt.  “But look if anyone makes a single comment, no matter how minor, that bothers you, I’ll-”

“I know,” (y/n) murmured, a loving smile gracing her lips as she cut him off.  “You’ll drag them until they have to remove your Twitter account, I know”

“I think you may have finally realized just how much I love you,” Calum told her, because it was as though she could read his mind, they were so in sync.  His lips brushed her forehead before speaking again.  “But even still, I’m not sure you’ll ever know”

“I love you too,” She whispered, folding her arms against his chest and tucking her head into the crook of his neck, using his bicep as her pillow.  “So much, I’m a little scared,” She admitted into his skin, soft and breathless.  “Only a little though”

Calum smiled, basking in this moment for a few longing seconds.  Caressing her skin, and feeling her heart beat against his as they drifted off to sleep

“You don’t scare me near as much as you used to, love,” He mused.  “I’ve come to accept the fact that I’ll have you with me for the rest of our lives, so long as you’ll let me drag you along”

“I do,” She answered, smiling into his neck as her body completely relaxed into his.  Never before had an idea so bold and life changing been so easy to answer.  There was no hesitation, no reluctance in her simple words, only her love and agreement.  “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth, Cal”

“And I wouldn’t go without you,” He replied sweetly, kissing the crown of her head and sighing contently.  “Goodnight, baby”

“Goodnight” She murmured back, falling asleep with a smile on her face, as their hearts beat in sync with one another.

xoxo ~ jordie

[marvelous-writer]

hi! If you're still doing the drabble challenge, can you do 67? thanks!

Hey! Thank you so much for the request! Sorry it took me so long but I hope you enjoy it!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

67. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”

“Peter, I suggest you seek immediate medical attention or I will have to call Mr. Stark.” Karen’s voice came out through the mask.

Peter closed his eyes behind his mask and let out a low groan, both from frustration and pain. “Don’t call him Karen… I already told you that… I’m f-fine.” He spoke through gritted teeth as he pulled himself up to the roof of the building with shaking arms.

When he got over the edge, he tried to carefully roll himself over the ledge but he ended up falling on the gravel rooftop on his back, facing dark sky.

“Ugh… ouch…” Peter groaned out, closing eyes tightly when his leg pulsated.

He didn’t even know what happened. One minute he was web slinging on his way home then the next, his web shooter malfunctioned and he was sent falling down to the alley below. He had managed to use his other web shooter to grab onto the closest building and pull himself towards it, sending him crashing down onto a fire escape. 

And unfortunately, that said fire escape had been damaged somehow, the metal pole bent and broken at such an odd angle that it managed to get him right on his right thigh, a few inches above his knee. It wasn’t until he got up that he discovered a jagged piece of the railing had cut him, and pretty badly from the looks of it, as well as all the blood that was dribbling down his leg, turning the blue of his suit an almost black color.

But the last thing he wanted was for Karen to call Tony. It was well past two, maybe even three in the morning by now and Tony was all the way Upstate at home with Pepper and Morgan, hopefully sleeping. He didn’t get enough sleep as it is and Peter was partially to blame for that. Well, mostly to blame.

“Peter, per the Baby Monitor and Scraped Knee Protocol, I am authorized to call-”

“N-No, Karen! I’m fine… just need a second. Don’t call him, please.” Peter practically begged her, panic bubbling in his chest.

The AI remained silent for a few beats. “Alright. I will only notify Mr. Stark when your vitals further drop below unhealthy levels. I recommend receiving medical treatment immediately, Peter.”

Peter closed his eyes at that, already knowing what that would entail. He would have no other choice but to take care of this himself, whether it be wrapping his leg up or even doing stitches himself, which would be his first time doing it alone. He’s never gotten hurt enough to need them before, the little cuts he’s gotten in the past have just scabbed over in a matter of hours, almost completely healed by the next day, all depending on how bad they were.

And this one was bad.

He slowly pushed himself up on his elbows, arms shaking slightly from the effort as he sat up, allowing him to look at his leg, which was now practically soaked in his own blood.

His stomach turned at the sight of it as he tore his eyes away, tightly closing them.

“K-Karen? I’m… what do I do?” He asked, feeling completely out of his element and scared at the moment.

“Again, I strongly advise you to allow me to contact Mr. Stark, but for now you should cover the wound and try to prevent further bleeding. A proper medical examination can determine whether it will require sutures.”

“Can I use my webbing to cover it?” Peter asked.

“You can.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded to himself as he lifted one of his arms, angling himself so his hand was facing the wound.

He pressed the trigger, a glob of webbing hitting his skin, sending a wave of pain through the limb. Peter hissed through his gritted teeth, closing his eyes for a moment, allowing the pain to pass.

Now, he needed a plan.

He was on the other side of the city and it would take him thirty minutes tops to get home on a good day but with him being in the condition that he was now… he honestly didn’t think he’d be able to make it back home.

He couldn’t go to Ned’s or MJ’s house because he was in the same predicament with distance. So that ruled them out.

He didn’t have any other friends that lived on the outskirts of Queens… wait. Yes he did.

Happy.

He had a condo right here in Manhattan, maybe ten or fifteen minutes away from here.

With a destination in mind, Peter began to slowly push himself up so he was standing but the moment he was vertical, black dots danced around in his vision, his hearing going in and out for a second.

“Ugh… shit…” Peter mumbled, cradling his head in his hands.

It took a few seconds for it to go away, leaving him slightly dizzy.

“Hey, Karen? Can you please give me the quickest route to Happy’s place?” He asked, not really trusting himself at the moment to get himself there.

“Certainly, Peter.” She cheerfully chirped back before a map lit up on his heads up display, along with a blue arrow. “You’ll need to turn left onto Canal Street.”

Peter nodded to himself and limped over to the edge of the building, shooting a web off to the closest building with his good web shooter before he jumped off the side of the building, following Karen’s instructions.

It took him around twenty-five minutes to get to Happy’s apartment, barely making it there. Getting here seemed to have zapped him of all his remaining energy and somewhere along the way his brain had began to feel like it was being stuffed with cotton, making it difficult to focus on Karen’s directions.

Peter dropped down onto the balcony with a groan when the impact sent a rolling wave of hot pain up and down his leg. He tried to ignore it as he limped over to the glass doors, finding them to be locked. He pulled the handle down all the way, hearing a satisfying pop as the door was forced to be unlocked, no match for his strength, even in his current condition.

Peter went inside the apartment and closed the door behind him, glancing around the darkness, the moonlight his only source of lighting. This was thankfully Happy’s palace and not some other person’s in the building. He’s been here a few times over the past three months since Happy and May have been “officially” dating, coming here for dinner a few times as well as a weekend when May had to leave the city for work.

Peter breathed out a relieved breath as he pulled his mask off his head, his curls sticking to his sweaty forehead. He eyed the couch and began walking over to it, his injured leg practically dragging on the floor, feeling too heavy to move as pain radiated through him with every step.

When he made it to the couch, he collapsed on it without considering all of the blood he was covered in, instead relishing in being off his feet, being swallowed up by the comfy pillows.

Peter let out a low groan when a sharp pain shot up through his leg, feeling like his leg was burning slightly. He distantly knew that he should probably get up and take care of it but he should have done that before sitting down because he definitely couldn’t get up now.

His eyes were growing heavier and heavier as the seconds passed by as he laid there, slowly blinking up at the partially lit ceiling. He let his eyes fall shut a few moments later… then he knew no more.

The next time he woke up, it could have been a few minutes or a few hours after falling asleep, only to find himself on the carpeted floor, lying on his stomach. He had a falling dream, so maybe that was actually him falling off the couch?

Wait… what couch?

Peter peeled his eyes open, his eyelashes dragging against the carpet he was laying on. From his place on the floor, he took in the expensive looking arm chair across the room, as well as the general largeness of the place.

This definitely wasn’t home. Unless they got an interior decorator and he didn’t know about it.

And where was May?

In his confused state, he missed the sound of footsteps racing down the hallway. The lights in the apartment were flipped on without a warning and Peter tightly shut his eyes with a pained groan.

“Peter? Kid, what are you… shit!” A voice gasped.

He felt a hand on his back and Peter forced his eyes open, squinting in the brightness. He looked out of the corner of his eye, finding a familiar, slightly horrified looking Happy kneeling above him, his mouth moving but no words were coming out. Why did it feel like he was underwater?

“H-Hey… Happy…” Peter managed to mumble, wincing at how dry his throat was.

Maybe he was in the dessert? No… that didn’t make any sense.

“What happened?!” Happy asked, eyes wide and frantic.

“Jus’ fell… I’m okay.”

“You are definitely not okay. You’re bleeding all over my carpet! I’m-” Happy looked up away from him, seeming to be searching for something. “Just stay here. I’m going to call Tony.” He said before he jumped up and Peter was able to see that the man was dressed in a simple pair of charcoal grey sweats and a black t-shirt, probably just getting out of bed.

Peter spaced out a bit as he heard bits and pieces of Happy panically talking to Tony on the phone, kneeling back down at Peter’s side.

“-there’s blood all over the place. He’s not looking too good.”

Peter’s head was aching terribly now, along with the pulsating ache in his leg. He closed his eyes and let out a groan when he felt something being pressed down on the wound. Black spots flickered in his vision once again and it felt like the room was spinning around him as a heaviness settled down on him.

Peter closed his eyes again, drifting out of consciousness before he was met by darkness.

Peter slowly became aware of his surroundings as began to wake up, discovering that he was lying down on something incredibly soft and there was something plushy was below his aching head. Slowly blinking his eyes open, he found himself to be in a familiar looking bedroom, lying in bed with the sun peaking through the closed curtains.

It took him a few seconds before the events of the night before rushed back to him.

He was at Happy’s place and he was hurt from falling on patrol.

That would explain why he was so sore.

“Well, look who’s awake.” A voice at his right said, causing him to jump a little.

Happy was sitting beside the bed in a chair, still in his pajamas, looking worn out and exhausted, bed head still present.

“H-Hey…” Peter tried to say but it only came out as a hoarse whisper.

Happy grabbed a glass of water from the nightstand and stood up, offering it to him. Peter took the cup from him and took a sip, feeling the cool liquid wash away the dryness in his mouth and throat.

He gulped down the remainder of the glass before he let out a small gasp, handing the glass back over. “Thanks.”

Happy placed the cup back on the nightstand and sat down again with a sigh, rubbing his face in his hands.

“What happened?” He asked, letting his hands fall to his lap.

Peter looked over at him, brows pulling together as he thought back to the night before. “I fell on patrol. L-Look, Happy I’m so so sorry for coming here and not even calling. I didn’t mean to bleed all over your-”

“Kid.” The man cut him off with a raised hand. “Don’t worry about the couch. I could care less about it. I care about you. The couch can be replaced but you can’t.”

The sincerity of his voice sent something warm through his chest, along with guilt for worrying him. Peter remembers seeing the man’s scarred face when he was lying on the ground in the living room… but everything else was foggy after that.

“You said you fell on patrol?” Happy asked.

Peter nodded. “Yeah. My web shooter… I think it broke or something and I fell. I hit a fire escape that was all dented and the bars were broken and sticking out. I got cut on one of them.”

Happy winced, nodding. “That would explain why it was so deep… we almost had to bring you to the hospital.”

Peter frowned, the question of who “we” was on his lips before the bedroom door opened. Standing at the door, was Tony, dressed in one of his band t-shirts and jeans.

“Ah, well welcome to the land of the living, kiddo.” The man said, walking over to the bed, eyes scanning over him. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore I guess.” Peter answered, a sinking feeling in his gut.

He already knew that he was probably going to get a lecture for this, him being stupid and not making sure his webshooters were fully functional.

“Tony, I’m sorry you came out all this way. I’m really sorry this happened and I-” He stopped talking when the genius held a hand up.

Tony breathed out a sigh, shaking his head. “I looked over the Baby Monitor footage and I talked with Karen. Your web shooter got jammed when you were mid swing and it happened to fast that Karen couldn’t detect it in time. It’s not your fault, kid. In fact,” He said as he took a seat on the edge of the bed at Peter’s side. “You did the right thing by coming here to Happy’s.”

Peter glanced over at Happy, who nodded silently in agreement.

“I’d hate to think what would have happened if you didn’t come here.” Tony added in.

Peter honestly did as well. What would he have done? Stitch himself up barely conscious on the brink of passing out? May would have woken up the next morning to him in the bathroom either passed out or worse… dead. He faintly remembers seeing a lot of blood, quite an unhealthy amount, stained on Happy’s couch, which is probably ruined now, all thanks to him.

“There is one thing we need to talk about though.” Tony said, taking him out of his thoughts. “Why wouldn’t you let Karen call me?” He asked, giving him a stern, questioning look.

Peter swallowed hard, finding with the blankets in his hands. “Uhm…”

“We’ve had this talk countless times now, Peter. Whenever you’re hurt you call me, Happy, or your aunt. Karen can also track the team’s locations to see if there’s anyone in your area if you need help.”

“I know.” Peter nodded, eyes falling to the blanket in his hands. “I just… I didn’t want to bother you. You’re so far away now and… I didn’t want to take you away from your family at three in the morning.”

Tony let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed a hand over his eyes. Now that he was looking at him, Peter could see how tired and stressed he looked, again, all thanks to him.

“Peter, I’ll always come for you. Always. You know that. I hate that I’m so far away from you. I honestly do and Pepper and I are planning on changing that in the near future.”

“You are?” Peter asked, brows furrowing together.

“Yes. We’ve been looking at real estate in Manhattan because of being closer to you, to STARK, and with Morgan starting kindergarten next year.”

“Oh… wow. I… I didn’t know that.” Peter admitted.

“We only just started discussing it… I should have told you but we wanted to surprise you. I just didn’t want to tell you like this.” Tony gestured to him.

“I really am sorry.” Peter repeated in a guilty tone.

“I know.” Tony softly said, reaching a hand over to brush Peter’s bangs off his forehead, the movement so tender and loving.

For the remainder of the day, Peter was ordered to stay in bed so his leg could heal, which was really starting to feel better, all thanks to Tony and Happy for disinfecting, stitching and bandaging up his leg. Tony fussed over him a bit and Peter got even more of that when May came around noon time. Peter was able to go out to the kitchen later that night for dinner, where the four of them ate takeout Thai, his favorite of course, finishing up with ice cream and a movie.

He fell asleep some time during the movie on Tony’s shoulder, only waking up when he felt a blanket being draped over him, as well as Tony pulling him closer to his side so Peter’s head could rest on his chest. Peter closed his eyes and snuggled up against his side, the rhythm of his heartbeat lulling Peter back into a peaceful slumber.

[elena-reina]

Words Hurt - Draco Malfoy x Reader

Request: Draco and reader are together and she has a stammering problem and loves to talks a lot . Then she stops talking for a while cause she heard others talking about her behind her back. - Anon

Warnings: lil cursing, fluff

A/N: I’m going to stop doing the Y/N=Your name and etc since it’s pretty self explanatory- unless it’s something new like Y/E/C= Your eye color and so on. 

If you guys would like to be added to my tag list for Draco Malfoy, send me a message.

Masterlist in bio!

Y/H/H = Your Hogwarts House

You just wanted this day to be over. Nothing was going right. Firstly, your alarm didn’t go off in the morning, so you skip the whole breakfast. Then you couldn’t find any of your books or schoolwork, making you late to your Transfigurations class with McGonagall. She ended up giving you a detention for being late, even when you tried explaining to her your situation.

After Transfigurations you went to went dashing to Potions with Snape and paired with Pansy who purposely messed up the potion. She added an extra ingredient causing the whole potion to explode, making Snape take point away from Y/H/H. 

“H-Huh? That’s n-not even fair!” you protested, as Pansy was snickering next to you.

Snape, unamused, turned and looked at you with a blank face.

“Detention for defiant behavior, Miss Y/L/N,” He turned back around and went back to walking around the class. 

“What?” you mumbled, throwing yourself back into your seat, upset. You angrily looked at Pansy as she smirked, content with how everything turned out. It wasn’t even fair since you didn’t do anything, but there’s nothing you can say to make things better.

Lunch finally came around, however that you you forgot to write your paper for your Muggle Studies class, so you had to spend your entire lunch time outside writing your paper, isolated by everyone else, so you could focus. The stress spread through your mind like ink on paper. Taking in a deep, ragged breath you began to write. Your stomach was protesting the whole time, considering you didn’t have anything to eat.

While you were writing, Draco just so happened to be passing by while on his way to Quidditch practice. He walked towards you and stood in front of you, waiting for you to acknowledge him. Noticing his shoes, your eyes trailed up his figure and stopped on his silver eyes. 

Curious, Draco spoke. “What’re you doing out here all by yourself?”

You huffed and held up your paper, with tired eyes. He let out a small chuckle and took the paper from you.

“Draco, h-hey!” you gasped, “Give it back!” You stood up, now facing him face to face.

“Hm,” he hummed, thinking about it. He outstretched his arm above his head, holding the paper above you. But he knew damn well you couldn’t reach it since you were smaller than him. “Give me a kiss.”

You smirked, and stood on your tip toes, grabbing onto his shirt for support. You pressed your lips to his plump ones as his hand smoothly wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. His warmth was pressed into your lips, but slowly your whole body was engulfed in the warmth of his lips. Pulling away, you put your hands on your hip and cocked your head.

“Can I have my paper now?” you smiled.

“Come to my practice?” he asked, handing you back your paper. You nodded as he linked his hand with yours and pulled you along.

At the Quidditch field, you sat on the sidelines watching your boyfriend practice. Every time he did well, he would look in your to see if you were watching and as always, you were there cheering him up. You were his biggest fan and you made sure to show it.

During a water break, his entire team were around you as Draco sat next to you. Everyone was in light conversation, making the atmosphere feel comfortable. 

“How was your day, Y/N?” Eli, Draco’s teammate asked.

You groaned. “Don’t even get me s-started,” you huffed, “T-To start things off, I w-woke up late! And then I was late to my cl-classes and then I got t-two detentions! TWO!”

“Wait a minute, you got two detentions?” Draco asked surprised, “You never told me.”

“Yeah! And to make everything w-worse, I haven’t eaten all d-day!”

Some of his team members were laughing, while others were rolling their eyes. There were definitely some of them who did not like you, but you never really paid attention to them.

“I think your girl is trying to hint at something, Malfoy,” Kyle, another one of his teammates, joked throwing a pebble at him.

He smirked, patting your knee. “I know, I’m gonna have to feed her later.” 

You nodded, happily leaning your head on his shoulder.

“What about that, what’re you writing?” someone else spoke up, sparking more conversation. They knew how much you loved conversing with others, and always tried to keep the conversation going. You were thankful for them, and grateful that they understood that you had a stammering problem. 

In the beginning of your relationship with Draco you were worried that he was going to get annoyed with you, but he made it very clear that it did not bother him. He knew that you couldn’t control it and made you feel loved. You were comfortable being yourself around him and loved him for that. 

But of course, there were still those who hated you. Whether it’d be because you were different than then, or more commonly because you were dating Draco.

Soon enough, Draco’s practice was over, but he had to go collect something he left across the field. Understanding, you waiting with your things in your hand, waiting for him to return. While waiting, you overheard some of his teammates talking, not noticing you.

“Ugh, does she ever shut the fuck up? I can’t stand listening to her talk. Why does she talk like a damn pig, just talk correctly!” one complained.

“I know, h-h-how about we n-not talk like a ch-child!” another teased, mocking your speech impediment, in response. They laughed and continued walking to wherever they were going.

You stood there frozen from embarrassment. You knew they didn’t like you, but you didn’t think they would be that vocal about it. 

‘I shouldn’t have spoken in the first place,’ you thought to yourself.

Embarrassment fell like a weapon of the Gods, fickle as they are. It was a torment for the meek, the ones not bold enough to be immune. The strong kids just toughed it out, not laughing with the crowd but looking nonchalant, superior despite their mishap. However, you weren’t as strong as them. 

Words hurt.

Draco quickly caught up to you, and entwined his fingers into yours, swinging your arms back and forth happily.

“What would my beautiful girl like to eat?” he asked, pressing a chaste kiss to your knuckles. 

You shrugged and shook your head, not wanting to speak.

“You don’t know what you want to eat?” he asked. 

You shook your head again. All you wanted to do was go to your room, curl up in a ball, and go to sleep. 

“What do you want. I know you’re hungry, you’re always hungry,” he grinned, trying to get a laugh out of you. But of course since you weren’t in a happy mood, you didn’t show any sign of optimism. He noticed your change in mood and became suspicious.

“Y/N, why are you ignoring me?” he pressed, stopping and stepped in front of you to get a clear answer out of you. You avoided eye contact, afraid that you might break down in front of him.

“I’m tired,” you mumbled. He nodded, unconvinced, and walked you to your room. 

Walking to the Y/H/H common room, he walked you to your room. You opened the door and turned to face Draco. You forced a weak smile on your lips and stood on your tip toes. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek and turned to close the door, but he put his foot in the way before you could close it.

“I’m going to bring you some food from the Great Hall so you can eat, okay?” he stated. Dinner time was barely starting, so there was going to be plenty of food.

You nodded as he removed his foot, giving one more glance towards you and walked away. You lightly closed your door, changing into your pajamas and crawled into your bed, sighing. Your back was to the door as you stared, blankly ahead.

You knew you couldn’t sleep. You just wanted to be alone, wallowing in your depression. Depression is the unseen, unheard, silent killer. It's the pain that's too much to cope with, too hard to deal with and so misunderstood. You can't escape it no matter how hard you try, because it follows you around like a black shadow that's on the inside, eating you.

Tears would well up in your eyes, stinging, but you would wipe them away. 

Soon enough, there was a light knock on your door. You heard the clicking of it opening and silently closing. Soft footsteps came closer to your bed as the sound of a plate was being placed down the table next to your bed.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Draco asked, climbing into your bed to cuddle with you. He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest. He rested his chin in the crook of your neck, pressing a lingering kiss on your exposed shoulder. 

“Nothing,” you whispered, barely audible. 

“Babe,” he tried again, “Look at me.”

He lightly turned you over on your back so you were facing him. You looked at him with sad eyes. He lightly caressed your cheek, gazing into your eyes. Just the notion alone made tears well up in your eyes.

“Please tell me what’s wrong, I don’t like you feeling this way,” he frowned. When you were sad, it made him sad. He never wants you to feel this way.

You nibbled on your bottom lip, sniffing, and wiped away the tears that threatened to spill over. 

“Some people w-were making fun of m-my stam-stammering problem,” you sniffled. A pang of anger flashed through Draco immediately.

“Who.”

“Draco, it doesn’t matter-”

“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice dangerously low.

You sighed, turning your head to look to the side, but he turned your face back to his. You knew he meant well, but adding oil to the fire wasn’t going to make it any better.

“I don’t know, Draco. Ju-Just some guys on your team,” you frowned. He sat up, ready to confront them, but you grabbed onto his arm.

“Stop, just lay with me. Please?” you begged. He huffed angrily through his nose and looked at you with an annoyed face.

“I’ll stay with you, but don’t think I’m going to let this go,” he glared, “I’m gonna have a little chat with the team first thing tomorrow.”

You nodded, knowing there was no way you were going to stop him. He laid back down, pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his chest, with your arm sprawled out on his stomach. He drew circles on your arm with his fingers.

“But listen to me, baby. Don’t let what they say get to you. They wouldn’t understand what you’re going through, so what’s it matter what they think,” he began.

“Yeah.”

“I’m serious. You’re an amazing person. An absolute beauty to graze this Earth. I’m blessed that I get to call you mine. No one else’s opinion matters other than what you think of yourself,” he finished, “Next time something like this happens, please do tell me.”

A small smile formed across your face. You gazed up at him as he looked down on you. You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his and he kissed you back.

“I love you,” you smiled, resting your head back on his chest.

“I love you too, baby. Always,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

-

@nathaliabakes