#i jumped ship long ago but man i always think what coulda been

[full---ofstarlight]

im still subscribed to the choices insider email and apparently the new book is about a 40 year old woman falling for a younger man, which is fine, but ofc the sprites for the 40 year old woman dont look any different from the freshman MC lmao

[zillyeh]

Storm Season (1/???)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Word count: 1749

Content warning: N/A

Synopsis: Voss comes back from the fleet and makes a new friend. :)

Google Doc

The docks of Delhon rarely saw fleet ships returning, but when they did it was so often for bad reasons. After all, returning soldiers tended to… shy away from reuniting with their lovely home city. For whatever reason.

Voschi watched the docks from a few streets up, the ship that just dumped him and a few others back to Alternia buzzing with trolls ready for liftoff. Cigarettes had been the first thing he’d gotten once his land legs were back, and this uphill corner store had the best vantage point. It was… bittersweet, to say the least. Not being allowed back. Ever. The nuisance he’d made of himself was apparently too much to keep around after his mysterious, doubly fatal accident. Not enough to leave him dead, though. He’d miss his position, the degree of respect he was owed. And maybe Vassal. A little.

Yet the freedom of being bound to pavement once more was… exhilarating. The rude, aggressive sounds of the upper city, the loud argument about something happening a few streets over… There was something beautiful about Delhon’s crust. Homey. Comforting. But perhaps that was the cigarettes- cheap lung rippers that he’d missed more than anyone he’d ever known here. It probably wasn’t good for him in the long run, especially considering his semi-recent recovery from some major head trauma, but it felt good now. 

Right now, this was all that mattered, loitering outside this corner store with his bag slung over his shoulder. Worrying about the rest of his life wouldn’t do him any good, and yet... Did he still have a hive, even? He hadn’t been gone that long, but still… Considering the circumstances of his, er, discharge, he hadn’t exactly been set up with anything substantial.

“Spare a light?” Came a voice, shaking him out of his thoughts. It took a moment for him to realize that was addressed to him, and another to fully take in who it belonged to. His heart jumped, setting off his pulse in ways he hadn’t felt in a good long while.

A young-but-still-older-than-him anon. Clearly jade though, judging by the fangs. He had gorgeous, long curly hair, with a bit of chin… scruff felt too… low class for him, but that’s what it was. He was far too well put together for this part of town. Too… buttoned up and tucked in and shiny. Voschi’s mouth was almost too dry to answer him.

“You’re too pretty too be smoking.” He replied, more hoarse than usual. The troll laughed, his fangs shifting with his lips in an absolutely fascinating way.

“No would suffice, sweetheart.” He said, an amused smile perking up the corners of his mouth. “Suppose I’ll go have to buy another lighter, then…”

“Wait- no, here-” Voschi fumbled in his jacket pocket, thoroughly caught off guard by sweetheart. “Sorry, I just- here it is.” The troll held out his cigarette for Voschi, who struggled to remember how lighters worked for far too long not to notice. This guy was weirdly patient, at least.

“Thank you, baby.” He said daintily, with a flutter of his eyes. “What brings you to-”

The sudden, loud rip of the fleet transfer ships engine stopped the whole street as it took off from the water. Voss winced hard as it rattled his damaged head. Definitely wasn’t going to be missing that one any time soon. 

“My, that answers that question.” Grumbled Voss’ smoking buddy, unfurling his massive ears from under his hands. He took his cigarette out of his mouth and blew out an annoyed cloud of smoke. 

“Worse on the inside.” Voss snorted. “Believe me.”

“Going to have to.” The anon sighed, eyeing the ship’s ascent back to its mother, just barely visible in the thick atmosphere over Delhon. “Never had the luxury myself.”

“Quite the luxury.” Voschi said with a roll of his eyes. “They really roll out the pink carpet when they toss you back out, big ol’ thing. Lucky I could drag myself outta the adoring public when I did.”

“Oof, bitter are we?”

“Little bit.” Voschi eyed this stranger. The heel of his shoes made him just taller than him, and they were nice. Sexy. Expensive, as sexy often was. The stance was… relaxed, subtly intimidating, all too familiar. “Surprised you never been up though. You got an air about you, mister.”

“An air, sweetheart?” He asked, quirking a thick eyebrow.

“Authoritative type. You definitely been bossin’ people around for a hot minute.” 

“Oh, have I?” The way he watched Voschi was careful, curious, perhaps a bit excited somewhere in there too. “I'd like to hear your theories.” Voschi scratched the scar on his chin and hummed.

“Lemme see… Not fleet, less you’re lying to me for some reason, in the wrong part of town to be the overlord of some office building even though you sure look like you could be. You could be a cop. Or a caverns overseer.”

“Caverns?” He interjected before Voss could pitch another guess. Voschi shrugged.

“C’mon man, it’ll take a lot more than a couple of grey contacts to hide the scent of jade. Fangs I coulda given you- if they were stationary. Plus jadebloods are always prettier, in my experience.”

The “anon” put his hands on his hips and clicked his tongue, looking somewhere between annoyed and impressed. Of course Voss was right, because rarely was he wrong. A sense of pride- smugness really- he hadn’t felt in a while bubbled up inside him. 

“Fascinating. They let you go?”

“Gets annoying after a while, apparently.” He said nonchalantly as he could with a crooked smirk crawling up the side of his lips. “Got a smart ass mouth on me.”

“Oh I can see that, detective.” Mr. Totally Not Jade hummed, almost to himself. “Looks like someone tried to fix that too, huh?” Voss laughed and ran his tongue across that scar, the one marring his lip to the edge of his chin.

“This?” He asked, with a grin. “Yeah, got this one mouthing off to a cop down here a while ago. Mighta deserved it, but still wasn’t very nice.”

“Poor mouthy baby.” He tutted. “Well I do hope that mouth of yours doesn’t get you into any more trouble back planetside, sweetheart. Hate to see you all ripped up Mr…”

“Horjan. No, you can call me Voschi, Voss. Whatever.”

“Oh that’s pretty. Voschi.” The way he said Voss’ name made him shiver. Nearly blush, even. Maybe that was the weather, though.

“Uh, thanks, Mr…”

“Aarika.” Mr. Aarika said, extending a hand. “Mr. Aarika works fine.”

“Uh huh.” Voss said, shaking that hand and… not exactly confirming his blood color theory. Freezing hands like that meant one of two things, and he didn’t like Mr. Aarika for a fish. Though you could definitely fit fins in those ears of his...

“Rainbowdrinker?”

“Gracious you’re observant, Voschi.” Aarika said, daring to boop him on the nose. “Perhaps too much for your own good.”

“Had my hands on a couple of you before.” Voschi shrugged, feeling his heart beat just a bit faster. “Cadavers too, ‘bout the same temperature. Drinkers are warmer though. Slightly.”

“I can see how this could be annoying now.” 

Voss laughed harder than he ought to at that. Mr. Aarika didn’t seem too awfully annoyed, but his smile was… less now. 

“Sorry, been a while since I got a chance to flex the old mind.” Voss stretched his beanie down over his forehead a bit more, as much as his horns would allow. He could feel that new… feature of his starting to peek out. It was both ugly and didn't react well to the winter Delhon air.

“Oh it’s fine, sweetheart.” Aarika said with a wave of his hand. “I suppose you’re going to go use your powers of deduction for good now that you're back, hm?”

“Nah.”

“No? Then what on Alternia are you going to use that big brain of yours for?”

“Dunno what’s up with me after I leave this street corner.” Voss shrugged. “Kind been avoiding thinking about it, honestly.” Mr. Aarika tapped his chin, something of a pout pursing his pretty lips.

“Well that’s rather concerning to hear, honey.” He said, snubbing the butt of his cigarette out on the wall. “Back to Alternia and no place to go doesn’t sound exactly ideal. Especially in this city.”

“Mmh,” Voss hummed. “Don’t I know it.” He half wondered if that was revealing too much. Temporarily homeless and no plans felt far too… victim-y, especially now considering the circumstances of Mr. Aarika’s… diet. Alleged diet? There did seem to be some genuine concern furrowing his brow- or close to it. Hard to read that far into his honesty this early. 

Aarika checked his expensive looking watch- diamonds? That felt far above a cop’s paygrade-  and sighed.

“Well look, Voschi, I’ve got to go but I do hope you figure something out.” His fangs poked up when he bit his lip, seemingly unsure about reaching into his jacket pocket as he did so. Voss watched him curiously as he produced a… card?

“I like you.” He said, twirling the shiny gold thing between his fingers. “If you find yourself too out of luck you can call me, sweetheart. I’m sure we could figure something out.” 

“Bit sudden, Mr. Aarika.” Voss said, quirking an eyebrow but taking the card regardless. It was thick and pale yellow with shiny gold accents. It kind of reminded Voss of a marble column. The text on the front said “Aarika” in fancy gold script, along with a couple different methods of contact. The back had a logo that he swore he’d seen before, but couldn’t quite place.

“Oh feel free to rip that up if my eagerness makes you uncomfortable, darling.” He said with a wave of his hand. “I just can't stand to see a handsome young man down and out.”

“Don’t think I’ll go quite that far.” Voss slipped the card into the pocket with his thin wallet. “Uh, thanks, though. ‘Preciate the offer Mr. Aarika. I’ll see what I can do for myself first.”

“Of course.” He said with a nod. “I do hope I’ll see you around regardless, Voschi. Ciao.”

“Uh, yeah bye.” Voss watched him leave, deeply fascinated by what the hell just happened. At least now he was certain about one thing. He was going to have to call Mr. Aarika at least once, just to hear him say his name again.

[dannifielding]

When I don’t feel like writing, or when I’m hiding from writing Danni, I tend to fall into rewatching Supernatural. And, as such, Amelia tends to rear her head and I get flashes of scenes from the episodes I’m watching.

I’m an OC fangirl, sue me :P

Anyway, I don’t know if anyone is interested, but this is what I write when I’m not writing Danni. I’ve tried to put them in some order, and most of them kinda just... stop. I just thought some of you might be interested 🤷‍♀️

It’s very long, so under the cut.

Also, you may notice a change in ship. She jumps, a lot. I mean, I don’t blame her, it’s a very hard choice, but be warned.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 06- somewhere near the middle

-------------------------------------------------------------

“I’ll go get Amelia,” Sam declared, standing up from the small table. Dean nodded his agreement as he continued to look through the case files.

“Tell her to Fed up,” he instructed and Sam rolled his eyes.

“What else would I tell her?” he countered. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Dean retorted and Sam glared, resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at him, and stormed out of the room and to the one next door. He knocked on the door a few times.

“Amelia, we’re found something,” he called but there was no answer. He frowned and knocked again. “Amelia?”

There was still no answer, which was rather unusual and gave him enough concern to pull his gun out along with the spare keycard to her room. He unlocked it and stepped cautiously in. “Amelia?” he tried. “Are you here?”

There was no one in her room, but also no sign of any struggle or any distress at all. There was the sound of the extractor fan in the bathroom though and he lowered his gun, feeling rather ridiculous and also rather glad that Dean wasn’t there to see his over reaction. He walked over, all ready to knock on the door and let her know.

“Fuck.” He froze, hand up to knock on the door, at the loud moan that came from the bathroom. “Fuck, Cas.”

When his brain kicked into gear, his first overwhelming thought was horror, then embarrassment, then a little bit feeling gross that he’d caught his childhood friend in a rather compromising position.

He then thought, as the childish part of him reared its rarely seen head, about telling Dean and how they could tease the hell out of her for having to spend her time solo.

“Amy…”

The gruff voice was a lot more startling and his eyes widened because he didn’t struggle to place it at all. It was a voice he wouldn’t have bet any money on hearing. Were they…

He turned and walked straight out, only taking the time to close the door quietly so they didn’t know he was there. He walked straight back into his and Dean’s room and stood by the door. Amelia hooking up with someone wasn’t exactly news, it was just one of the things she had in common with his brother. Cas, though… How did that even work?!

“Did she say how long she’d be?” Dean asked, fastening his cuff on his shirt. He hated wearing the shirt. He felt like he was going to a wedding. He glanced over at Sam and frowned at the look on his face. “Everything alright?”

“Um, I don’t think she’s coming,” Sam replied, then immediately grimaced at his choice of words.

“Why?” Dean asked.

“She’s- uh- she’s a bit busy,” he replied, pointedly. “In the bathroom.”

“In the…” Dean started before his eyes lit up. “Oh! Walked in on her riding the train solo, eh?”

He was smirking slightly but Sam shook his head. “Not solo,” he corrected and Dean’s mind suddenly filled with a million and one more ideas.

“Man or woman?” he asked.

“Angel.”

Dean frowned. “Angel?” he repeated and Sam nodded. They weren’t exactly best buddies with the angels, and most of them were dickless ken dolls, who the hell would…

His eyebrows shot up. “Cas?” he asked and Sam nodded.

“Oh yeah,” he confirmed. “Getting pretty hot and heavy as well.”

“How do you know? Getting a good listen, were you?” Dean shot back. Sam didn’t appreciate the tease, but Dean did appreciate his offended response.

“No, they were,” he pulled a face, “loud.”

Dean scoffed. “Nah, I’m not buying it,” he said bluntly. “She’s always had a little crush on him, but this is Cas. Cas. He wouldn’t know what to do with a naked chick even if she was stood in front of him explaining the instructions.” He pointed at the wall. “In fact, we took him to strip club and he did exactly that.”

“I’m telling you, it was pretty clear- Wait, you took an angel to a stripclub? When was that?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean dismissed. “That can’t be Cas. She must have just been getting a bit carried away.”

Thud!

They both looked at the wall that separated the two rooms like it was about to break down and reveal something worse than hell behind it. There was another thud.

“Bar?” Sam asked and Dean nodded.

“Bar.”

~0~0~0~

Amelia checked again to see if the light was on in the room next door. It was dark now, and getting late and neither brother seemed to be about. They’d not left her any messages, or asked her to go with them, so she assumed they hadn’t disappeared on anything case-related, but it was always a little concerning when people in their line of business weren’t where they were supposed to be.

The first time she’d checked she’d given them the benefit of the doubt, the second time though was rather more worrying and so she knew she had to find them. She was about to call Dean when she heard the distinct roar of a ’67 engine and relaxed slightly. The Impala pulled up and she held her hands out in confusion.

“Where the hell did you two go to?” she asked as Dean climbed out first.

She looked annoyed and confused, but Dean immediately remembered the thud on the wall. “To the bar. We found a lead,” he explained, storming to the door to their room.

She followed him in. “I didn’t hear you go,” she said. “When did you leave?”

“Like, three hours ago,” he replied, pulling off his jacket. God, formal wear was just awful. How did people wear suits all day?

“Wait, what?” she asked. “Why didn’t you come get me?”

“You- er- you were busy,” Sam offered, pointedly, as he locked the door behind him.

“No, I wasn’t. I could have come too,” she protested. “Why are you leaving me out of this?”

Dean looked at her,unimpressed by her anger. He motioned between him and Sam. “Oh, we’re not leaving you out of anything,” he told her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Sam went to go get you. He walked in on you getting off in the bathroom.”

She wasn’t expecting that. She tried not to act too surprise, instead going on the defense. “I was having a shower, Dean,” she corrected.

“No, you weren’t.”

She glared at him. “Fine, whatever,” she exclaimed. “Like you’ve never gotten a bit frisky when you’re on the road and needed some time on your own.”

“Oh, I hold my hands up to that,” Dean replied before he pointed at her. “But you weren’t alone, were you?”

“Yes, I was…”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 06 Episode 18

-------------------------------------------------------------

Cas touched them both on the top of the head, and they were gone. His arms lowered rigidly and he turned to look at Amelia. He could sense her unease, and he didn’t blame her. He was confident in his ability to bring back Sam and Dean, but there were bigger issues that may stop him. He needed to be careful, everything hung in the balance and if he failed them, if he failed her…

Castiel!

He grimaced, unable to meet their gaze. “I have to go.”

“Already?” she asked, a little surprise. “Cas, you’re exhausted.”

“I’m fine,” he said, hoping to reassure her but immediately realised how sharp his tone had been. He met her gaze and her concern did not abait. “I’m fine,” he said, this time softer.

Bobby cleared his throat, uncomfortable. “What about getting the boys back?”

“Pray for me in 24 hours, and I’ll return.”

“I’ll pray for all of us,” Bobby muttered, turning around to pick up the timer. By the time he looked around, Cas had disappeared in a flutter of wings. He started the countdown and looked at his goddaughter, who was staring at where Cas had been stood. He still wasn’t sure how much he approved of her and Castiel, but she was happy, and ultimately that’s all that really mattered to him.

“You alright there, Princess?” he asked and she looked at him like she’d forgotten that he was there.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m—I’ll be fine,” she told him. “Beer?” He nodded and she headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge. She then immediately shut it. “How are we out of beer?” she muttered to herself. It was a pretty strong staple in their house, the milk went sour before they ran out of the good stuff. “Uncle Bobby, gotta nip to the store!”

“Alright, Princess.”

She grabbed the keys to the Impala – Dean would never know, nor did he need it right now – and smiled to herself. “I might drop in on Jody,” she called. “Want me to send her your love?”

“Piss off.”

She chuckled to herself as she stepped outside. She liked to spend time with Jody, they got on rather well and it was nice to have someone who knew about the bad in the world yet still lived a normal life.

She started when the door shut behind her and Cas was stood there. She frowned. “I thought you had to go?” she asked him as she walked over. “Is everything alright?”

Her concern felt both wonderful and incredibly deceitful, as every encounter they had together now did. She was always worried something would happen to him, that he would get hurt, but he knew that the moment she found out what he’d done then it would all fade away and he would be left with nothing.

“You seemed concerned,” he told her. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I am concerned, I want you to be okay,” she replied, using his own words against him.

“I am fine,” he promised.

“You’re tired,” she countered. “I can see it, Cas. You know you can’t hide anything from me. Me being concerned for you isn’t going to change.”

Again, it was like a stab in the heart for him. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

She smiled slightly. “I don’t want you to worry about me,” she told him. A small little smile broke out on his own face as he realised that she was pointing out the pointlessness of him trying to stop her being concerned for his wellbeing. He’d never stop worrying about her.

“I suppose it would be fruitless if I tried to convince you that you don’t need to?” he stated and she nodded along.

“Can I convince you that, although worried, I am also fine?” she asked and he shook his head.

“No, I guess not,” he said and she shuffled slightly on the spot, smiling fondly at him.

“I’m fine, Cas,” she promised. “I’m sure you can’t spare the time to check on me every time you see me frown.”

He couldn’t. It was definitely out of the question, but he’d not been able to stay away when he’d seen the look on her face. He never could.

Castiel!

His head hung. “I have to go,” he told her before looking at her, desperately hoping she could offer him a reason to stay that he could, in all good conscience, take.

All she could do was smile sadly in her own heartache. “If you need me to come, Cas, if you need me to fight…”

“I will,” he cut her off before she could finish her offer. He never would. He wouldn’t risk it, even if he had no other option. He gave her a little head bow and disappeared.

She stared for a moment before taking a deep, sad, shaking breath. Every time he disappeared in the flutter of wings, she worried that he would never go back. She knew it was both foolish and selfish, but she didn’t worry about him losing the war, she worried about losing him to the war. She worried her hands together and she pulled herself together. She wasn’t going to cry, or mope about. Sam and Dean were in the past finding the ash of a phoenix for their big task, her Uncle Bobby was doing his best to help cull the rise of the monsters they had seen. She needed to pull her weight, and at the moment that meant fetching the beer and visiting her friend.

She really wished she’d kissed him, though. She would hate to regret that if something…

She shook her head and purposefully turned towards the Impala, about to barate herself for being such a sap.

Cas was stood right behind her. She almost walked straight into him. Instead he grabbed her and pulled her in for the kiss she’d wanted to give him. He held her tightly, like she was all he wanted and it never failed to make her insides flutter. She clung to him just as tightly and wondered, for a moment, if the war could just wait a few minutes.

He broke off and pressed his forehead against her. “I really have to go,” he told her lowly. “I want to stay.”

“I want you to stay too,” she told him. “We’ll get some time next time around.”

It was hope they both had, and a fact that was diminishing every day. They both missed each other terribly, and it was something they couldn’t share. There were bigger things going on, and neither of them wanted the burden of being too sad.

With one, last, briefest kiss he was gone and this time she knew he wasn’t coming back. Well, not until it was time to bring back Sam and Dean.

Still, she smiled coyly to herself and did a little, happy dance on the spot. She’d gotten her kiss, and it was good.

She then quickly looked up at the sky. “You better not still be watching me,” she warned the air before she finally climbed into the Impala

Despite how much he wanted to, Cas wasn’t watching her. Her Uncle Bobby was, though. He watched her out of the window with Castiel, watched how happy she became just at him being there, and couldn’t help but feel a little happy himself. The ‘dad’ part of him didn’t want anyone near his little girl – man, woman or angel. However, times were crap and any sort of goodness was more than welcome, and he was glad it was happening for her.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 06 Episode 18 Ending

-------------------------------------------------------------

“You can’t be serious. You’ve only just healed yourself up, will you just sit down for a few minutes?”

“I can’t,” he snapped, frustrated not with her, but with how many times they’d had the same conversation, always wishing for a different outcome. “With Rachel, I need to find out who else is turning against me before it’s too deep to stop.”

She understood, she really did. It was just so hard to watch him go. But he didn’t need her to be clingy, he needed support. “You better come back,” she warned.

“I always do,” he replied. He looked at Dean. “If you need my assistance…”

“Yeah, we’ll call,” Dean finished for him. “Just- Just take care of yourself, man.”

It was an uncomfortable sign of affection, but Cas took it gratefully. “I will endeaver to do so,” he told them all. Just as he readied himself to disappear, to head back to what was going to be a messy cleanup and more paranoia, Amelia’s hand shot out and caught his.

She didn’t look at him straight away as her heart pounded painfully. More than ever, something felt very wrong with her angel and the panic was almost overwhelming. Their life was full of darkness at times but she was suddenly hit with a wave of pure terror at the idea of him leaving.

She looked up and met his gaze. “I love you,” she told him.

All four men were very surprised by the sudden declaration from her, but none more than Cas. They had said it to each other before, that was true, but she’d been rather open with the fact that she didn’t feel comfortable saying it in front of her family. He knew they, as a little group of illfitted humans, could contain their emotions a bit too much, and hid behind bottles of alchol. He didn’t mind, because he knew that she meant it when she said it, and he had absolutely no doubt over his own feelings for her.  But hearing her say it so bluntly when he knew she would rather keep it between the pair of them gave him a rush of reassurance he didn’t know he needed.

He could do this, he could win this war, no matter what it took, because there was a beautiful, caring, hopeful woman who backed him every step of the way.

He held her hand tightly. “I adore you,” he replied before flying off.

Amelia stared at where he had been stood for a few moments more before turning to look at Sam, Dean and her Uncle. Immediately they all looked away, caught at staring at her. “Not a word,” she warned, her voice hard. She didn’t threaten them, but all of them quickly nodded.

“No, no, nothing to say,” Dean quickly agreed.

“Nope,” Sam added.

She nodded once before turning and walking out of the house. They all watched her leave before Sam turned to Dean.

“Did she…”

“Yep.”

“Do you have any idea?”

“Nope.”

~0~0~0~

Amelia wasn’t sat outside long before Dean appeared. He sat on the hood of the car, his feet dangling next to hers. “You know, I think we’re getting a bit old to be sitting on top of a pile of cars,” he commented. She didn’t reply, so he handed her the bottle of beer. They sat in silence until he took a swig.

“So, the big ‘l’ word,” he stated and she looked at him.

“Dean…” she started in warning.

“Hey, I’m not here to judge,” he promised. She relaxed slightly. “I’m just thinking that it must suck, watching him leave all the time.”

She turned to look at him, about to shoot some snarky comment about how it must have sucked leaving Lisa, when she saw the sympathetic look in his eyes. He wasn’t making fun of her, he was being there for her. Her best friend, through everything.

The lump in her throat that she didn’t seem to be able to get rid of felt like it was trying to choke her again so she swallowed it down. “I’m terrified,” she replied quietly. “All the time.” He didn’t interrupt, he just sat and listened and once she realised that she couldn’t stop. “I mean, we’ve got the Mother of all monsters roaming free down here, but we’ve got a war going on over our heads that’s bigger than anything we could even imagine. I-I thought we’d stopped the apocalypse, but it’s just a moment away from being rebooted and I should be worried, I should be focused on that but all I can think about is—” She trailed off for a moment, her voice disappearing again. “There’s this angel, in the middle of it all, who’s holding it up by the skin of his teeth and I’m going to lose him to it. I’m going to lose him to this war. Even-Even if he wins, he’s going to give everything to it and I’m going to lose him.”

She ran a hand over her mouth. Saying it in her head was fine, where she could quash it down and hide it behind a full wall of denial. There was something about saying out loud that was more devastating than any thought she’d had so far. “I’m going to lose him.”

“Hey,” Dean said, pulling close and she started crying. “You’re alright.”

She clung to him tightly, once the tears started coming they didn’t stop. The weight of the fear crushed her. She curled up towards him and he realised, for the first time, just how much she had been hiding from them all. He knew they were sleeping together, he’d known that for a while, but he’d thought it was more a friends-with-benefits type affair, with maybe with it being a little less casual. He thought she had been optimistic about everything, she was always telling him to pull his head out of his ass when he was complaining too much.

He tightened his grip on her, rocking her slightly like he had done to both her and Sam when they had been kids.

“He’ll be okay,” he promised her. “You’ll see. For a scrappy little angel he has it all under control.”

“I’m so scared, Dean,” she whimpered. “That war is going to tear him apart.”

“I know, I know,” he replied before shifting her so he could look her in her eyes. Big, wide, wet eyes that looked at him like he knew all the answers. “You’re right, it’s terrifying, but you know what? We’re not alone in this. We’re all going to be fine, we’re all going to win and we’re all coming out the other side of this, alright?” She sniffed. “Alright?”

She nodded. “Alright,” she said softly. He knew she didn’t quite agree with him, but that was alright. He could pretend a bit longer that he believed it so she would too.

“You know,” she started softly, a little timidly, after they’d sat in silence again for a while. “He took me to Disney World.”

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Season 06 Episode 21 Ending

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Dean scrambled into back of the car, holding Lisa as tight as he dared. Ben climbed into the front next to Sam without even thinking the moment the blonde held the door open for him.

“Amy!” he barked. “Get in the damned car!”

“There’s not enough room. Get the hospital,” she commanded.

“You can’t stay here, there’ll be more demons around,” Sam told her.

“There’s not enough room,” she repeated firmly. “I’ll make my own way. Get to the hospital, save her!” She slammed the door shut, knowing that they didn’t have time to argue with her.

Dean didn’t want to leave her there, but knew she was right and despite his concern knew that she could take care of herself. “Ben, give her the knife,” he instructed. The boy, still in shock, stared at his mother because he couldn’t see anything else. “Ben!” His gaze snapped up. “Give her the knife.”

He hadn’t said a word since the demon had poofed out of his mom, and that wasn’t any different as his handed it out of the window that Sam had already wound down for him. Amelia nodded then stepped back so Sam could zoom away. She just hoped they would be okay. She hoped they would make it in time to save her.

There was a bang behind her and she spun, knife firm in her hands. She couldn’t stay where she was, she had to move. She started running away from the warehouse, only to quickly get lost within the dark, empty streets, which seemed to be completely devoid of all traffic, so her lowjack options were no existant.

When she felt safe, she stopped, panting, placing her hand on her thighs as she tried to catch her breath. She hoped to God, if he was even still out there, that Lisa was going to be alright. No one should lose their mom like that, and Dean… she knew Dean would never forgive himself.

She needed to do something. She hated feeling so helpless, that was all she was feeling. Helpless and alone and she just wanted to be at the hospital so she could help them, but she couldn’t. She didn’t even know what town they were in. Hell, she didn’t even know the state.

She also hated that she constantly felt like she was on the verge of tears. She hadn’t cried this much in years and she hated being the emotional one. No, she didn’t mind being the emotional one, she hated being the emotionally weak one. But there she was, standing on a sidewalk, totally alone and crying because she knew the one option she had was the one she desperately didn’t want to take.

“Cas!” she screamed. “Cas! Please!”

There was a fluttering of wings and she was still on high alert, so she turned around again, knife ready as if it would have made any difference. He already looked horrified and he stepped forward. “You’re hurt,” he stated.

She held her hand out and, to his credit, he stopped in his tracks. It took her a moment to realise she was covered in blood. “No, no, it’s not mine,” she quickly told him. She then reached up to her painful nose. “Well, most of it isn’t,” she said. “Some-Some of it might be, I’m not sure.”

“What happened? Who hurt you?” he almost demanded but all she could do was stare at him. Now he was here, his eyes blazing brightly, passionately, all she wanted was to both run to him and run as far away from him as possible.

“I—” she started before shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have called you. I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t be even thinking of you, but it was the first thought that came into my head.”

He looked creastfallen, her words physically wounding him. “If you just let me explain,” he started and she shook her head.

“No, no more explaining, no more words, Cas,” she said firmly. “I don’t want to hear it, you’ve hurt me enough. I’m not going to let you again.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I’m trying to save you,” he insisted. “I do love you, no matter what you think.”

She nodded. “I know,” she said softly. “I think that’s why what you’re doing hurts so much.” There was silence between them but, before she could falter, she took a deep breath. “We found Lisa.”

His shoulders relaxed slightly. “I’m glad,” he told her. “I was looking.”

She didn’t doubt it. “She got possessed by one of Crowley’s bitches and stabbed herself. Dean’s taking her to the hospital, but I don’t think she’ll make it. I think she’s going to die.”

That immediately took his relief away and she felt a little bit of pleasure at knowing that it did. It felt dirty, but she liked it. “I never meant for this to happen. If I had thought that Crowley would hurt them, I would have done something sooner.”

Her face hardened. “Then do something now,” she told him. “Save her.”

“Of course,” he replied. “Where are they?”

She shrugged. “I don’t even know where I am,” she said, almost whimpering. “But-But they would have gone to the nearest hospital. I-I don’t—”

She was shaking, she was in pain and he stepped forward. “You are hurt,” he said decisively. “Let me just—”

She moved instinctly away from his hand. “Don’t,” she instructed. “Don’t help me, help her. Please, Cas. Please, just-just save her. Don’t let her die.” Her voice broke and her head hung. Her hands moved in front of her until she was holding them in front of her like she was praying. “Please, if she dies, Dean will never forgive himself, and please just help him.” She fell forward, onto her knees. “Please, Cas. Help her. Help him. Help me.”

Her begging broke his heart, and he was absolutely horrified to watch her fall to her knees in front of him. It shouldn’t have even been a thought that he wouldn’t help them, and that she thought that he wouldn’t help her was even worse. He also knelt on the floor in front of her and took her face in his hands to force her to look at him.

“I will always help you,” he promised. “You never have to fear me.”

She used to always be so sure that she knew when he was lying, but now as she stared at his bright grace, she wasn’t sure if he truly meant it. “I’ve spent so long being terrified of losing you to this war, that I missed the fact that I already had,” she whispered, devastated.

“You haven’t lost me. I’m right here.”

She shook her head. “I think that you’re further gone than even you realise,” she replied. She leant in and kissed him, and he welcomed her, holding her close, terrified of letting her go.

She broke the kiss softly. “Save Lisa,” she commanded softly. “Please.”

He nodded.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 09 Episode 01

-------------------------------------------------------------

Dean didn’t know what to do. He hated feeling that he was out of every option. He hated feeling like there was nothing he could do but leave it up to ‘God’. Who the hell was he, anyway? He was a doctor! He was supposed to be clinical, unrelentless and smart! He wasn’t supposed to leave it up to some smuck who had decided to leave the world to burn!

God wasn’t going to answer. Cas wasn’t going to answer. The angels out in the world weren’t answering yet and he was sat in a chapel and he really wasn’t sure where to go from there. He was on his own and without ideas.

He couldn’t just sit there. He got off the bench and stormed out, each religious symbol just pissing him off more and more. His brother was dying. His best friend, the woman he loved, was dying. He didn’t know what to do anymore.

~0~0~0~

Amelia Miller was strapped to every machine that could keep her alive, but that was all they were doing. Much like Sam, the doctors were convinced that everything that made her up had long gone. They kept her breathing, they kept her vital signs nice and steady, but that’s all they did. They kept her alive.

Dean had washed the blackness from around her eyes. He’d taken the time with a soft cloth, apologising for messing up her makeup because he knew it annoyed her when her makeup was smudged. Her lids felt much too soft for there to still be any eyeballs underneath, but he kept cleaning and he didn’t dare check. He needed her to still be okay. He needed some good news. For once.

He spent his time between her and Sam, waiting for an answer off someone. He couldn’t sit still.

Amelia was on her own when she sat up in bed. Her eyes were wide but she couldn’t see anything. Her mind was foggy but she still tried to look down. In the darkness shaped appeared. She felt down her arms, feeling the wires and tubes that were attached to her. She didn’t know what they were for, she didn’t know where she was, but every part of her said that being attached to anything was a bad idea. She winced as she ripped the patches off her skin, scrambling with her fingers to find and detach herself with as little pain as possible, but also as quickly as possible. She didn’t remember much of anything, but her fight or flight instinct was telling her to fly.

She was starting to see more shapes, more shades of light in the darkness as she stumbled out of the bed she was on. She moved over until she found a wall and followed it along with her hands. She just needed to find the door. She just had to get out.

Someone grabbed her and she screamed, turning and pulling her fist back. “Let me go!” she screamed.

Whoever it was caught her wrist. “Woah, Amy, calm down,” the voice tried but she used their grip to turn them around, trapping them against the wall. They groaned at the force she used and she used the feeling of power to try and calm the panic she was feeling at her vision being gone.

“I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you’re going to tell me,” she snarled.

The person didn’t struggle. “Amy, it’s me, it’s Dean,” he told her. “Remember? Dean Winchester.”

Amelia faultered slightly. “Dean?” she asked.

“Yes! Can you- Just let me go, alright?”

Dean could very easily throw her off, she knew that, which was why she wasn’t too sure if she believed him or not. His voice sounded right, though, and she couldn’t prove it anyway. She backed off and the person immediately grabbed her arms. “Hey, you’re alright,” he reassured her. “Do you remember me?”

She nodded as she, in turn, reached out and took hold of his arms. “Yeah, I do,” she replied softly. “What-What happened? Where are we?”

“We’re in hospital. You and Sam—” He paused as his voice caught, which wasn’t reassuring. “You were both in a bad way. Lets get you back to bed, eh?”

She held onto him tightly, shaking her head. “I-I don’t know where the bed is,” she admitted. “I-I can’t see anything.”

Dean wasn’t surprised at all. Her eyes were bloodshot, with barely any white left, except for her iris which were bleached right out of most colour. He’d definitely not seen anything like it, not on anyone living anyway. He shifted so he was holding her close. “That’s okay,” he told her. “It’s probably just a side effect. Come on.”

He helped her sit down on the bed. She felt it dip as he sat next to her. “What do you remember?” he asked gently.

“Not a lot,” she admitted. “I remember being with Sam, and you turned back up to get him to stop the trial. We helped him outside and then…” She shrugged. “Then I woke up and I can’t see. What happened?”

Dean didn’t say anything for a moment. He didn’t know where to start. “When Sam stopped the trial it hit him pretty bad,” he started softly. “He’s in a room down the hall. They don’t think he’s going to make it. I’ve-I’ve called Cas, I’ve prayed to everyone but no one’s listening.”

“No,” she whispered, horrified. “No, that can’t be right. No matter how busy Cas is, he’d never leave Sam to die.”

“Metatron really had him convinced he was doing the right thing,” Dean replied. “But, whatever happened, it was what Naomi said. The angels fell.”

“Then—” She turned to Dean, trying to see him in the small amount of shadow she could see. There was nothing. “How am I alive?”

“I don’t know,” he told her. She flinched slightly as something brushed against her cheek, before she realised that it was her hand. He was turning her so she was facing him properly.

“I guess I’ve not come out of it well, though, have I?” she said softly. “Do I look bad?”

“Nah,” he replied. “Your eyes just need to heal. I’m surprised you even have any, after…”

“After they were burnt out?” she finished for him. His hand dropped from her face. “Did I leave wing marks?”

He nodded, then realised she couldn’t actually see him. “Yeah, I thought you were dead.”

She reached out slowly, hand shaking to copy his move and cup his cheek. His stubble was really starting to grow in. His cheeks were damp. She wished she could see his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” she whispered. “About Sam, about everything.”

She hugged him tightly and he held onto her like there was nothing else keeping him grounded. She sniffed, then started crying softly, then started to sob. Dean held her onto her tighter. “Let it out,” he said encouragingly. “Just let it out, Amy.”

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” he promised. “We’ll fix it. We’ll find Cas, or whoever, and we’ll fix it.” He pressed a kiss on her hair. “We’ll fix it.”

~0~0~0~

Sam’s eyes flickered as he woke slowly. “Where are we?” he asked almost instantly, even before he’d woken up properly. He sat up in the passenger seat and Dean took his eyes off the road for a moment to glance over at him.

“Woah, Sam?” he asked, trying to keep his attention on his road but all he could think about was his little brother, who looked like he was waking up from a long nap rather than a next-to-death experience.

“What?” he asked.

“Okay, take – take it easy,” Dean instructed. “How you, uh – how you feeling?”

Sam shifted in his chair, trying to get the crink out of his back. “Tired,” he replied. “Tired. Like I – like I slept for a week.”

“Well, try a day,” Dean corrected, much to his surprise. “You've been out since the sky was spittin' angels.”

“What the hell happened?”

Dean looked him over for a moment, like he assessing him. “What do you remember?”

“The church, feeling like crap, the angels falling…” Sam’s eyes widened. “Amy! She was-She was dead. Oh my god…” He looked ready to start bawling, or panic, or something.

“Calm down, Sam,” she said from the back seat. “I’m fine.”

He spun in his chair. “Woah!” he exclaimed at the sight of her. She was still bruised up, her eyes looked like she’d been poisoned.

“I guess I don’t look alright, Dean,” she said pointedly. She was staring roughly at the back of his head, then turned to where Sam was. “How are you feeling, Sam?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he dismissed. “What happened? You were on the floor. There were scorch marks. You had no eyes.”

“It was something to do with Metatron’s spell,” she explained. “I guess the angels falling must have really done a number on me.”

“But your eyes. You look like you’ve gone seven rounds with Andre the Giant.”

She shot him a little sardonic smile. “For decorative use only, I’m afraid,” she replied. “They’re all but useless.”

“You’re blind?”

She nodded. “Pretty much. Making me all but useless as well.”

“Hey!” Dean barked. “I told you about that. We’re going to fix it. The fact that they grew back at all says you’re probably going to get your eyesight back eventually.”

Sam turned back around in his chair, falling heavily against it. They’d watched her scream, and the light burst from her like an angel who’d been killed with a blade. She’d fallen to the floor with burnt out eyes and burnt out wings. She’d been dead. Seeing her lifeless body was the last thing he remembered before he’d woken up.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” he said sincerely.

“You too,” Amy replied softly. Sam was. He was grateful and releaved that they were all okay.

He frowned, looking at Dean. “You've been driving around with me passed out in the passenger's seat for a day?” he asked, confused.

“Oh, I mean, I stopped, you know, let a few Japanese tourists take some pictures. Nobody got too handsy.” Sam rolled his eyes. “I knew you'd pull through,” Dean told him. “I meant what I said at the church. You're capable of anything, Sam, and hell if you didn't prove me right.”

Sam cleared his throat. “Good. 'Cause we got work to do.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 10 Episode 14

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sam shut the barn door closed behind him. Dean dipped back into the shadows. This was all happening so fast. He’d expected more time, he’d wanted more time. It was one thing to be fine with the idea of dying, it was quite another to be facing it square in the face of a man who he’d seen way too much of himself in.

He turned to Amy, who looked ready to fight, and he knew that her mind was racing over every single way she could help him. Always by his side, forever faithful. Everyone else – his parents, Cas, even Sam – came and went. She was always by his side. It kept him strong, and focused. As long as he had one person to look out for, he was okay. As long as he had one person who cared about him, he was okay.

He was going to miss caring about that.

He grabbed her hands which caused her to look at him in mild surprise. “I love you,” he told her with every last bit of conviction he had. If he was going down swinging, he didn’t want anything left unsaid. He wanted her to know that, while he was still himself, she had taken over his heart.

“Dean,” she breathed, eyes wide. “I—”

He cut in before she could say it. He knew she was going to, but he wasn’t sure he could handle hearing it. “And I’m sorry,” he continued, his voice gruff. “I’m sorry that it won’t mean anything soon, but right now it does and I do.”

“You don’t know that,” she insisted. “I know you’ll be okay, Dean. Even if you don’t.” She tugged on his hand, bringing him closer. He didn’t fight her. “You’ve always been so fucking pessimistic.” She leant up and kissed him. It was frantic, and rather hot, and it didn’t last long enough. The barn door opened behind him and Crowley stepped out first, followed by Sam.

/// Episode stuff.

“Plus, I need you three out here, to take out whatever comes out of there,” he said. “And I’m serious I mean, whatever comes out there.” He looked between the four before his eyes fell on Amy. “But not her,” he said. “You three. Not her.”

“Of course,” Cas replied and Amy nodded slowly. She was a coward for it, she knew, but she didn’t want to take Dean out. She didn’t think she could. Whatever came out there would have his face, would be her friend, no matter how messed up.

She didn’t realise how defeated she’d felt until Crowley handed the Blade to Dean, and he looked at it like he was finally complete again. Not happily, not hungrily, just whole again. Her hand shot out and she grab Cas’s tightly, squeezing it as she struggled to hold herself together. He looked at her, stunned slightly, but didn’t let go. He let her take her comfort, he would always let her.

“Dean?” Sam asked, concerned. Dean slowly looked to his brother before giving him the reassuring smile of an older brother who was trying to downplay how scared he was so his little brother would be okay.

“I’m good,” he promised before turning and walking away. He stopped just before the stairs that led up to Cain, free hand resting on the banister. “Not her,” he insisted again.

Amy swallowed, the lump in her throat hard. “I’m- I’m going to go outside,” she told him, trying to put some force behind her voice. “I’m not going to be here for any of it. I promise.”

He nodded, satisfied, then headed upstairs. The moment he disappeared through the doors she turned to Cas. “Help,” she whispered and he quickly nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m going to take her to the car,” he told Sam, who he was sure was barely listening. He nodded though and sent Amy a soft smile.

“Good. That’s a good idea,” he encouraged. “We won’t be long.”

Cas led her outside, to the Impala, which sat waiting for her owner to return, even though it was just a car. He was going to put her in the passenger seat, but she opened the back door before he could even be a gentleman and hold it for her. She sat down on the padded seat, door wide open. She stared straight ahead and Cas stood just outside, awkward but on guard.

“Go inside, Cas,” she told him. His brows furrowed confused.

“No, you need—”

“I need you inside, Cas. I need you,” her voice broke, “I need you to be there for Dean. I will be fine.”

He knew she was right, and that if Dean came out as badly as he had seemed to think he would, then he was needed more inside than standing watch over her. He just knew there would never be a time he would rather be doing anything but keeping her safe. “I wish you wouldn’t lie to me,” he said gently.

She looked up at him, and a genuine smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “It’s not a lie. It’s a hopeful statement. Hope is never a lie, Cas. Go inside.”

He nodded and, after giving her shoulder another squeeze, shut the door and left her alone. She sat facing straight ahead, and then she cried.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 11 Episode 04 Ending

-------------------------------------------------------------

Amelia could have laughed at the sight of the Pizza spot that the door opened up next to. She’d been there so many times that she didn’t even have to be able to read the neon sign. The street was familiar, the sound of the road was familiar. She actually in Lebanon. The stupid angels hadn’t taken her far at all.

She stumbled down the street, trying her best to not walk too heavily on her ankle whilst, at the same time, moving as quickly as she could. She didn’t know how long she had before the angels came back but she wanted to be as far away from the building as possible. And, preferably, back in the Bunker.

She rushed past the first car she came across because she knew that, with its rather new computer system, it would take a bit longer to hotwire. The second one, though, was a bit of a fixer-upper and barely took her any time at all. And, considering that she could see two of almost everything, she had been sure that she would have electrocuted herself before she’d have gotten the car started.

She swerved quite a lot. The pain wasn’t debilitating as it was tiring. Everything ached so much, her wrists stung so much, that it was hard to actually be in pain. Every time she blinked she felt herself drift off further inside her head. It took everything she had to keep herself awake long enough to park outside the Bunker. She fought with the door, mainly because the door handle kept moving around and refused to stay in one place.

But soon enough, she opened the door, and stepped inside. She smiled even though the cuts on her face stretched painfully. She was safe. She was home.

Down below, Dean, Sam and Cas all rushed into the meeting room from the study. The two humans had their guns drawn, while Cas held his angel blade tightly.

“Who’s there?” Dean barked angrily. “How did you…”

Amelia stumbled forward, clinging onto the railings tightly. The cut by her lip was starting to bleed and she was rapidly loosing the fight against being unconscious. Her knuckles turned white with the strain of standing.

“Amy?” Cas asked, sounding as perplexed as normal. She turned, heading towards the stairs. She made it down three before she lost, her eyes rolling into her skull before she tumbled down to the bottom.

“Amy!” Dean cried out, rushing over to her side. He dropped next to her to feel her pulse. “She’s alive,” he told them both. “Cas…”

Cast didn’t need telling twice. He reached down and pressed his fingers against her temples. “She’s just unconscious. Minor concussion from the fall.” With a flash of light he healed her. “She’ll wake up soon.”

“What the hell happened to her?” Sam asked, looking down at his childhood friend.

“Don’t know,” Dean said gruffly. “But when I find out they are going to pay.” He moved to scoop her up, but Castiel took hold of her and lifted her with ease before he could.

“I’ll take her to her room,” he stated. “Then I will scout the area. She may have been followed.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 11 Episode 14 Ending

-------------------------------------------------------------

Amelia felt sick. As she fell to the ground, her stomach churned and her chest ached. Sam was panting and Dean looked horrified, and she didn’t blame them, but neither of them knew. Neither of them knew what she’d done. What her and Cas had done. What her and…

She gagged, the bile rising and she shot off the floor. Dean and Sam watched her dash out and they quickly followed, only to hear her throwing up into the sink. They paused outside because neither of them wanted to deal with vomit, but then she screamed.

Dean immediately pulled out his gun, just in case Cas-Lucifier-whatever had turned up but she was on floor, hair clenched between her fingers as she started sobbing hard. “Woah, woah,” Dean said, crouching down next to her. “Hey. He’ll be alright. Right?” He looked up at Sam for backup, who also knew that her distress was coming from Cas’s new roommate. “Right?”

Sam quickly nodded. “Of course. It’s Cas, isn’t it? He’s survived-Well, he’s survived a lot. He’ll be fine.”

She shook her head. “I-I can’t…” she sobbed. “You don’t understand. I-I feel so—” She rubbed her arms and Dean frowned. She wasn’t comforting herself.

“Dirty,” he finished for her, much to Sam’s surprise. She nodded, which surprised him even more.

“You don’t—I—” She looked up at Dean. “I’ve been doing worse than I let on,” she told him, almost ashamed. “Since me and you- Well, since we stopped being a me and you, you know?” She swallowed hard. “Then, after the whole ‘angel’ debacle, I got worse. I just—” She met his gaze. “Everything sucks. Everything fucking sucks, Dean, and I—” She started crying again and he rubbed her arm. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to…”

“I know,” Dean replied. “It’s okay. What happened?”

She swallowed.  “I felt lonely, and sad and god knows that I needed to feel sexy…”

“You slept with Cas,” Sam finished and she nodded, again looking so ashamed of herself. It hurt Dean, he could feel it, but he didn’t say a word. He had given up the right to anything from her. They were friends now, nothing more.

“A few times,” she admitted. “And it was—” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Because all that matters is that I didn’t sleep with him until like, two weeks ago.” She was shaking. Every part of her felt like unclean. “I didn’t sleep with him until after we spoke to Lucifier.”

Dean and Sam shared a look. “Until he was Lucifer,” Sam said.

“I-I didn’t know it was him,” she sobbed. “I should have known. And… And I had no idea. And Cas has no idea. I-I did that to Cas!”

Dean pulled her close. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 12 Episode 01

-------------------------------------------------------------

“It’s worth a shot.”

The bunker door opened and Dean shot up. Mary immediately pulled out her gun, although it took her a moment to tear her eyes off the tiny thing Dean had been using that, apparently, was a computer.

A woman stumbled in, hand on her head. “Cas!” she called. “Sam?!”

Dean and Cas shared a look. “Amy,” they both said. She walked down the stairs, wincing at the light. She’d been hit on the back of the head and left for dead in the forest. She wasn’t sure who by, or why, but she knew it wasn’t good.

“Cas?!”

“I’m here,” he started, motioning for Dean to stay put. He stepped out into the briefing room. “Are you alright?”

“Some bastard attacked me,” she grumbled. “I don’t know where they were…” She trailed off, spotting the blood on the floor. “What happened here?”

“There was a woman. She blasted me away and took Sam,” he explained. “And, Amy…”

“Amy?”

She had been walking over to Cas so he could heal the egg on the back of her head, but she froze at Dean’s voice. She leant to the side slightly and saw him standing in the archway, a soft smile on his face.

“Dean?” she asked softly. That wasn’t right, it couldn’t be…

“Hey,” he replied with a little wave. She pushed past Cas, who understood her happiness all too well. She rushed over to Dean, coming to a stop at the bottom of the small steps down, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“Is it…” she started, reaching out to place a hand on his chest. He nodded.

“It’s a long story,” he stated. He was going to quickly explain what was happening but she pushed him back just enough to be able to pull him down into a kiss. Her arms went around his neck and he pulled her closer with his hands on her waist. He hadn’t known how much he needed to feel her lips on his, but he couldn’t resist deepening in, despite Sam being in danger and his mom stood in the shadows. She tasted like life, and booze, and everything he had known he was going to miss when he’d died.

She was the one to close the kiss and he pressed his forehead against hers. Both of them kept their eyes closed as they lightly panted. “Dean?” she whispered.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Is-Is that your mom hiding over there?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “The Darkness brought her back.”

“Oh, that’s...” She pulled back slightly. “That’s actually quite amazing.”

He smiled. “It is, isn’t it?” he agreed. He kissed her again, although not the passionate one he’d wanted when he’d come back to the Bunker, then turned to look at his mom, keeping an arm around her waist so she didn’t go too far away. “Mom, this is Amelia. Amy, Mary Winchester.”

Amelia gave her a small wave. “Hi,” she said lamely. “I mean… I don’t know what I mean, actually. I’ve heard so much about you it’s strange to see you here.”

Mary looked between the two. Between her eldest son, who was four years old not long ago, and the woman who he now had his arm around. The woman who, in her eyes, had practically chucked herself at her son.

She looked up at Dean. “Sam?” she reminded.

Amelia frowned at the obvious dismissal, but also looked up at Dean. “Do we know who took him?”

He shook his head, letting her go. “We have a car, though,” he replied. “Let’s go.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Season 12 Episode 02

------------------------------------------------------------- 

 There was a knock on her door but Amelia didn’t even look over her shoulder. She just continued to fold up her clothes, neatly putting them back into her drawers, her mind focused purely on the organisation of her room and not on anything else.

There was another knock, but she didn’t say a word. She chucked the next item of t-shirt over her shoulder onto the floor, missing her discard pile by miles.

“Woah, if that’s the reaction every time I come in the room, I’m going to have to come see you more often,” Dean said as he stepped in, closing the door behind him. She closed the drawer she was working on. The last she had seen of him he’d been in the kitchen, starting his way through a six-pack and she’d left him to it.

“You’re more than welcome to the discard pile,” she replied. “Although I’m not sure if you’d fit in any of them with the podge you’ve put on recently.”

“Hey,” he replied, offended. “I’m as fit as I’ve ever been!”

They both smiled at each other but the silence fell over them again. Amelia turned back to the drawers, starting on the next one. “How’s- How’s your mom doing?” she asked as casually as she could.

“Tired, I think,” Dean offered. “She’s had a lot to deal with.” He watched her keep her head down, pulling out items from her dresser. She wouldn’t even look at him.

“Well, we all have,” she replied. “Jumping 30-odd years into the future must be hard, but she’ll settle eventually. She gone to bed?”

“Yeah.” He walked over, standing beside her. She still didn’t look at him, chucking another piece onto the discard pile.

“Don’t blame her. It’s late,” she said airily. “I thought you’d all be asleep by now.”

“So you thought now would be a good time for a spring clean?” he questioned. She shrugged.

“No time like the present. I’ve got so much to get rid of and I was delaying doing it because it’s a pain the ass, but it needs to be done and...”

“Alright, alright,” he interrupted. “What’s wrong?”

She paused. “What?” she asked, sounding confused. He knew better and just stared at her until she glanced up at him. He could see the tears shining in her eyes and he grabbed the clothing from her hands, chucking it back into the drawer.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again. She swallowed hard.

“You-You were supposed to die,” she started. “And-And then you didn’t, and then your mom is back from the dead after over 30 years, and then Sam’s gone and there’s this whole new British Men of Letters bullshit and I can’t even imagine what that’s like. And then I-I had to watch you go, and then you weren’t dead and-and the first thing, the first thing, I do is kiss you!” She chucked her arm out to the side. “That’s not an okay thing to do, but I-I do it anyway and your mom and Cas are right there and you’re just back from the dead and who does that? Who does that, Dean?!”

If her rambling wasn’t an indication of her panic, the way she was getting louder and louder certainly was. Even after all this time he still felt out of his depth when she became incredibly upset. He held his hands out in front of him. “Woah, woah, woah,” he said. She stood still, despite having been moving to pace around, and stared at him, looking almost manic. “If-If you’re worried about me not wanting it, let me tell you,” his lips pulled up into a smirk, “you’ll not hear any complaints about it from me.”

She knew he was trying to cheer her up, and that his words weren’t necessarily lies, but it just felt like a stab in the chest. She didn’t reply straight away as her thoughts jumbled through her head, each digging a little deeper in her own spirialing self-disgust.

“I know Cas is in love with me,” she told Dean, much to his surprise. “I know he’s never stopped, not since we-not since Sam jumped into the cage. And I’ve never-I mean, he’s still in there. You’re both still in there. And knowing all that, knowing that when I was broken thinking I had lost you he was there for me, and I just… And you had your mom, and all I could think of was… Was…” She shrugged. “Kissing you,” she whispered softly. She met his gaze and her pain was more visible than he had seen in a long time. “I can’t keep watching everyone die,” she whimpered. “It’s too much…”

He pulled her close, wrapping her up. “I know it is,” he told her. “I know, and I’m sorry. But I’m back, and I’m not going anywhere. No one is going anywhere.” She was shaking and it broke his heart. His hold on her tightened. “And Cas understands,” he continued. “We both do. We both know what we’ve done to you. He won’t be angry, he won’t have even thought twice about it.”

“What do I do, Dean?” she asked. “I can’t keep losing you.”

He didn’t have an answer, he never did. There was always a part of him that would sacrifice himself to keep his whole family safe and happy, and that included her. He knew his normal instinct would be to took her hair behind her ear and gently encourage her to go find Castiel, who would bend the world to make her happy.

But he’d almost died, and as happy as he was that his mom was back he knew that wasn’t going to be an easy ride.

So instead of tucking her hair behind her ear, he tilted her face up to look at him. Confusion flashed through the pain and he couldn’t help but just watch her for a moment.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised again. “I—” He swallowed hard. “I can’t lose you again either, Amy. I came looking for you because I need you too much.”

“Really?” she asked and he knew she had a very valid reason  to doubt him. He just smiled and cupped her face, threading his fingers through her hair. He tilted her head a little further and kissed her again, softly and she whimpered into it. He didn’t deepen it, he closed it gently and watched her eyes flicker back open again.

“If you’ll have me, I’m not going anywhere,” he told her. “We’ve lost too much, this whole messed up little family we have has been torn apart too many times, and if we can, for one moment, have some happiness? I say we take it with both hands. Because we deserve that. We deserve at least that.”

She nodded and her lips pulled into a small smile. One little pep talk wasn’t going to change the world, he knew, but if he could make anyone smile for a while he’d take it. He placed another kiss on her lips before untangling himself. “Go to bed, Amy,” he instructed. “We’re not done, yet.”

She chuckled lightly. “Are we ever?” she replied cynically. “Lucifer’s still out there somewhere, right?”

He pointed at her as he headed to the door. “Exactly,” he stated. “And I have a mom.” He couldn’t help the smile that spread. “Can you believe it?” he asked her. She shook her head.

“It’s the first miracle we’ve had in a long time,” she agreed. “I really am happy for you. For both of you.”

He turned, opening the door and Amelia thought of all the clothes she’d chucked on the floor and how she would have to deal with that in the morning. She picked up the bra that Dean had ripped out of her hands and thought about how she needed some new ones. She thought about the trench-coated angel that she was pretty sure she had been god-awful to and how she needed him more than she cared to admit. She thought of Sam, who had gone to bed absolutely blindsided by his experiences and his mom. And Dean, her Dean, her best friend and the person who used to make her feel safe above all else, and how she had just began to feel the same again before he’d gone to his death, and it had been torn away from her.

Her heart raced, her panic spiked and, as always, her goto way to deal with it was to push it under everything else. “Dean?”

He glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

She shrugged slightly, showing her uncertainty over everything. “Spend the night.”

He knew that, in their pain, they all dealt with things in different ways. Sam would obsess, he would drink, and Amelia… Well, she had a very distinct way of drowning away her problems. He watched the smirk slowly spread on her face as his eyes glanced at the underwear she was currently holding.

He stepped back in and closed the door. Who was he to say no to that?

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Season 14 Episode 03

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Dean was never sure how he felt about the hugs he got whenever he came back from one of his stupid ideas. After all, it was his stupid stunt that had caused all of the worry and pain in the first place, everyone should be angry, not happy to see him. However, it was also nice to know that they were happy to see him regardless.

He had expected one from Jack, but he’d been a bit wary which he also could understand. Cas, on the other hand, didn’t show any trepidation as he held him tightly for a moment. Dean managed a pat on the back, but not much else. He wanted the comfort of his family, but he wasn’t sure he deserved it yet.

“Where’s Mary?” Jack asked once the greetings were done. Dean glanced around again at all of the hunters, looking for the blonde-haired one he couldn’t see.

“She and Bobby stayed back in Duluth to clean up the, uh -- uh, the situation,” Sam explained, casting another sideways glance at his older brother. Dean tried not to shift uncomfortably, knowing that the situation he was referring to was the one he’d created.

“Yeah, well, speaking of cleanup, I, uh I need a shower,” he told them. “Just gonna, you know, tell Amy the good news. She in her room?” He motioned over his shoulder, expecting them to just direct him to her. Instead there was a shared look he didn’t like at all. “What? What’s happened?”

“Um, she’s still in the infirmary,” Cas explained. “She’s still not well enough to leave.”

Suddenly a little paniced, Dean looked between him and Sam. “What?” he asked.

“She hurt herself…”

“Whilst on a hunt,” Sam quickly cut in, which just told Dean it had nothing to do with a hunt at all. “She was-She was fighting some vamps, they managed to get the best of her. We’ve cured her, she’s-she’s just resting.”

Dean just looked at his brother. “Uh huh,” he replied. “Well, that’s a load of crap.”

Sam sighed. “Look, Dean—”

“I know I’ve been out of the loop for a few weeks,” he interjected before he could lie to him anymore. “But I would rather like to not be kept purposefully out of it. That never goes well for us, does it?”

Cas and Sam shared another look, as if debating between themselves whether or not they should tell him.

Jack, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to their silent conversation. “She hurt herself,” he told Dean, who blinked in surprise. Jack’s brows were furrowed slightly. “It’s a human thing, apparently. I don’t quite understand, but Castiel explained it like she had a really bad flu, but in her head. Her bad thoughts were stopping her brain from thinking properly, like if her nose were blocked.”

Dean’s heart stopped for a moment before he turned and all but ran out of the room. Sam opened his mouth, wondering if he should call after him, but he just sighed inside. He turned to Cas. “Could you…”

“I’m on it,” he told the younger Winchester before following Dean.

“Was I not supposed to tell him?” Jack asked. “They are family, and you said family could know.”

Sam took a moment before clapping his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “It’s fine,” he replied. “I think Dean just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

~0~0~0~

Amelia really wasn’t sure that she needed to be trapped in a room anymore. She understood their concern – well, actually she didn’t, which had been part of the issue, but why couldn’t she just be trapped in her own bedroom? They complained that she slept all the time, but without anything else to do what was she supposed to do, exactly? Wallowing in her own misery was what had gotten her there in the first place.

She had just come from the small bathroom that the private room had, chucking the covers off the bed when the door opened behind her. Immediately she felt on edge and she sighed heavily. “Sam, I just went to the bathroom. I don’t need help with that,” she told him firmly.

“Amy?”

She quickly turned and saw Dean stood there, looking as shocked as she felt. He was wearing a vest and shirt combo – something she had never seen him voluntarily wear – but she barely paid attention to anything than the faint glow in his eyes. She took a step back, the side of the bed jabbing into the back of her knees. “How-How are you here?” she asked before she straightened slightly, smirking slightly. “I see that getting in really used up all of your mojo, didn’t it?”

It took a moment for Dean to realise what she was saying, and thinking. “Amy, it’s me,” he told her. “It’s really me.”

She stared for a moment, deciding whether or not she believed him. She was sure that if Michael had been in Dean still he wouldn’t have looked so rough around the edges. And it would explain the way he barely had any grace at all. “Dean?” she whispered and he nodded. She quickly rushed over, chucking her arms around him but, unlike Cas, Dean wrapped her up tightly and buried his face in her hair. He hadn’t expected to ever see her again.

“How-How are you even here?” she asked him.

“Michael left,” Dean explained. “I don’t know why, and I don’t know if I care right now.” He pulled away, looking down at her. He’d expected her to be in a bed, strapped to machines and barely alive, like some sort of movie scene. He’d not expected her to be up and about, or as grumpy as she’d sounded. “What the hell, Amy?” He grabbed her wrists, looking at them. There were no cuts, he’d been expecting cuts, but she was clean.

“Oh, Cas cleaned me right up,” she told him cynically, pulling her hands back. “Regular guardian angel, that one.”