#i josh but it is actually kind of hard to put my finger on it

[alessiathepirate]

Until Dawn

A SMALL JOY: Josh Washington x fem!reader

Summary: Taking Dr Hill's advice, Josh and his lover go up to the lodge and look through all the things his sisters had left behind - after an interesting find she does her best to take his mind off the sadness he's experiencing.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

To be honest, Until Dawn is still one of my favourite horror games. Thanks to the game I found my favourite YouTube channel, my English improved a lot because I wanted to understand every word, and I have a huge crush on Rami Malek to this very day. Me and my friends were obsessed with him the time the game came out, and soon started to watch more of his work together.

Josh Washington was one of my first fictional crushes, I could defend him for years without getting tired and I drew him so many times I actually learned how to draw portraits correctly.

There's a gameplay I like to rewatch every year, because of the great memories I have connected to it. I always fall in love with Josh Washington once again - and thanks to that tradition, I started to write for him as well.

Warnings: a bit of swearing, mentioned depression and loss, mentioning the Washington sisters' disappearance and/or death

•••

° "(...) We would come up in the summer and we would have the best time. The whole family was there - mom, dad, my sisters. It was some serious competition out there on the big lawn... I don't know. Can't go back. New reality." °

She listens carefully, noticing every little pitch or drop in Josh's voice as he speaks - and as he puts down the baseball bat all she can think about is grabbing him and pulling him into a hug, a tight one, the kind that is both loving and comforting. She watches him, she examines his every little move and her heart aches every single time she finds a new sign of sadness.

She hates it.

She hates that look on his face. She hates that change in his voice. She hates that he feels alone. She hates that the whole case is making him go crazy. She hates that nothing is certain and he can't even grieve.

She hates that he had to change so much; that he had to become this depressed because of some stupid, messed up prank their friends had decided to pull on his sister.

He didn't deserve any of it. He doesn't deserve any of it. None of the Washington kids do.

Coming up here was already hard - back to the mountain where Hannah and Beth disappeared, where they played around like stupid teenagers do. Dr Hill said it's for the best - Josh needs some closure, some proof that he needs to slowly start to move on. She thinks it's bullshit - Josh thinks so too. It won't be easy to put yourself through something like this.

But regardless, they came. They are here now, looking through the rooms, the basement...

The memories are hurting her - and if she as a friend is hurting this badly than Josh must suffer a lot.

"Teach me." the words suddenly burst out before she can stop them, wanting to make Josh concentrate on something else - not wanting him to get lost in his own mind.

"What?" the question is loud in the basement.

"Teach me how to play." she continues on, feeling unsure like she tries to cross a very thin and sensitive line. "I've never played baseball before."

"It's been a while since I did so." Josh starts to explain, his gaze falling on the bat he put down. "You really- want to?"

She steps closer to him slowly, carefully, as if she tries to get close to a very scared and wounded animal. She touches his arm, her fingers hold him as her thumb brushes along his skin in an up and down motion. She leans towards him, her face touching his shoulder as she presses a kiss to the area what isn't covered by his t-shirt.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." she whispers. "I know it's not-" she holds that thought and says something else instead: "I just haven't seen you play yet and I want to join in."

Josh looks at her over his shoulder, he looks at her as she tries to smile even if her eyes stay sad. He watches her like she's the only thing he has left, like she's the only person who matters anymore. He looks at her and feels something break inside, realizing that she really is the only one who he has.

"All right." he says and when he sees her eyes change a tiny bit - showing a bit of happiness - he feels his heart flutter. It makes him feel better, it makes him want to touch her too, putting his hand over hers - over the one which is still clinging onto his arm. "As long as you promise me you won't accidentally hit yourself with the bat."

And there's what he wanted to see - her expression changes, playful offence takes the sadness' place and she gently hits his back.

"Hey! I wouldn't do that."

"You totally wouldn't." his sarcasm earns him another punch and despite the situation and the place, he feels like he got something back.

The last time they bickered like this was half a year ago, the night his sisters had disappeared. They drank and played around until they started to make out in the kitchen, only stopping when Chris stepped inside the room wanting some booze for himself.

As they climb the stairs hand in hand they both feel somewhat relieved. They found a kind of small joy, a bit of happiness - something what they had left here months ago. Josh chuckles when she trips and almost falls, she feels excited as he hands her the baseball bat outside.

"Since there're only the two of us here, I think it's best I teach you how to hit the ball and not yourself."

"I'm not that clumsy Mister!" she tries to sound offended, but it doesn't work.

"I know you too well, girl; and I don't trust you with that at all."

Josh stands behind her, keeping a gentle hold on both of her arms as he explains how to stand and how to hold the bat. She chuckles when he playfully tickles her and this time she doesn't feel guilty about laughing. Before he lets go of her to throw the ball, he gives her a short hug and presses a kiss into the crook of her neck.

She misses the first time...

and the second time; and the third time...

She misses and Josh laughs and she thinks it's the most beautiful sight she's ever seen.

They change positions after a while and no matter how she throws, Josh never misses - not even once. He hits the ball every single time and it flies and lands far away.

She has the feeling that in that very moment, doing that very thing they both feel somewhat complete. She feels like Josh's smiles are honest, his laughs are honest and she forgets about Dr Hill and his stupid advice.

"No shit you like to play it." she says after a while as the both of them are lying in the grass, her head resting on Josh's arm. "It is fun."

"Believe me darling, it is much more fun when you actually hit the ball." his voice has a teasing edge to it and for a moment she thinks about turning towards him and hitting him playfully once again - but she doesn't.

Instead - hoping to get something more, trying to get a kind of good change out of him, she says: "I will, after a bit more training. You'll teach me, I have no doubt about that."

Josh turns towards her, gently touching her face and playing with her hair. She tries to read his face and she realizes that he understands what she's playing at. She wonders if he'll get upset or sad... but she gets an answer pretty quickly.

"I will - of course I will. You'll be the best player in this damn country."

The muscles in her face twitch and she feels like she'll cry. It's been so long, so long since Josh smiled and laughed that now seeing it again feels like a whole new experience. She doesn't want to leave the place or the moment. It's too nice.

"Better than you?"

"Way better." he promises and lets go of the lock of hair he's been playing with. "I love you, you know that, right?"

She feels frozen at the question and starts to wonder where it's coming from. The doubt in his voice, the softness in his eyes... He deserves the world, he deserves everything in it and he deserves to know that he does enough for her - she feels his love and every single emotion and action it causes.

"Of course I do... I know." she promises. "I love you too. And I'm here for you, no matter what."

It's her turn to lean in and she kisses him, making sure the kiss is soft and calm. She wants to make him feel whole and safe. She wants him to be happy.

They lay back down and stay quiet for a bit, enjoying the sunlight and the light summer breeze. She feels like she could melt. Melt into the feeling and moment forever, without ever getting bored.

"You know," Josh starts suddenly, his voice soft and unsure. "it's been a while since I've taken you out on a date."

"It's fine, Josh. These past months weren't exactly the best."

"No... I know." for a few moments he stays silent, not knowing what to say. "All I want to say is I have a few movies here we can watch and we can have a nice time before we-"

"-go back to them." she finishes, understanding what he means.

Them. All the friends, all the family members and pals who show an annoying amount of pity. All of those people who try to comfort Josh when doesn't want to do anything with them. The people who make him feel worse than better.

"I'd love that." she smiles at him as he turns towards him and hugs him. "But no horror."

"No horror." Josh nods.

It wouldn't be good for either of them.

She kisses his shoulder as they get going, stretching their muscles, before climbing the stairs to go and find the movies Josh was talking about.

As they look over his DVDs while hugging, all she can think about is how unfair life is, because Josh doesn't deserve any of the problems life threw at him...

[doorbellvibes]

you don't know how to start the conversation.

“let’s start things off,” katrina says, always the savior, always spreadsheets and straight lines. “you are…” 

“josh king,” you reply. 

“that part’s obvious,” josh (this josh) says. he’s joking to break the tension. you smile in support. 

“well, yeah,” you say. “i’m from another universe. i fell through a wormhole with this” —you hold up the broken warp device— “and i’ve been hopping through universes for a while now. none of them have been right. i can, like, share an embarrassing story to prove that we’re the same or something.” 

katrina raises her eyebrows. josh elbows her and hisses, “don’t you dare ask.” your chest burns with something you can’t totally identify: jealousy? longing? familiarity? 

kat shifts her posture; it’s usually a sign that she’s mentally switching gears in some way. you pointed it out to her, your her, once, and she said she had never noticed. josh seems to know, because he turns to face her more properly. 

“so, getting you home. what are we working with? i bet you have a script for this by now if you’ve had to talk to a bunch of versions of us by now.” 

“uh,” you say. “actually, i don’t really seek out alternate versions of myself. i usually try to find you, or someone else we know if i can’t.” 

she glances between you and josh. “sweet but weird.” 

“i get it,” josh says. “two joshes isn’t going to come up with that much more than one of us would. maybe we’d get it done faster, but we wouldn’t have any genius breakthroughs.” 

“one,” katrina says, counting on her fingers, “don’t talk about my friend that way.” 

“do you have a second thing?” you ask. 

“...no.” 

josh snorts. “let’s get this back on track. space josh,” he says, gesturing to you. “how do we help you?” 

you’ve had a lot of practice answering this one. “okay. so this device is janice’s, but in this time period she doesn’t seem to be interested in electronics very much. so i usually try to shoot for finding rachel, if she’s not super famous and busy, or raus and klaus.” you pause to read their faces; josh’s is hard, because you don’t usually see yourself from the outside, but kat’s mask of collected competence is permeable. she’s confused.

“do you know janice wood or rachel glass?’ you ask. 

josh and katrina glance at each other. “no,” he says.” katrina pulls out her phone, presumably to google one or both, and tilts the screen flat so everyone can see. you lean forwards, so you can read the results upside down. 

janice is listed as a professional carpenter. “she’s cute,” katrina says, tapping to enlarge the close-up of her using a table saw. 

“would you believe that she’s your girlfriend in my world?” 

“holy shit,” she breathes. “how do i come with you?” 

“i would be careful,” you say. “my katrina would kick your ass about it.” 

“bet i could take her.” 

josh raises one eyebrow. “isn’t she a space pilot in his reality?” 

katrina shrugs. “we’ve faced longer odds. she probably doesn’t even have a rapier.” 

you decide not to question that one. most of the kats from this time period that you’ve met have stories about meeting josh at a renaissance faire, or at a convention, or at a pottery class. almost all of them involve dodging some kind of mortal danger, which you guess you and your katrina can’t judge. 

“can you look up rachel?” you say instead. 

katrina types rachel glass into the search engine and there she is, a professional headshot on a neutral background. 

“rachel glass,” reads josh, “was an american dancer and computer scientist.” he looks up at you, but you barely register it. 

“oh,” you say, and try to compartmentalize this information. your rachel is fine. your rachel is alive and well in your world. all things considered, this is a stranger. 

“are you okay?” josh asks. 

“i’m sorry,” katrina says, and reaches over to put a hand on your shoulder. “i’m sorry.” 

you shake your head. “it’s okay. it was bound to happen in some universe.” 

katrina moves her hand from your shoulder to your hand, squeezes it, and then pockets her phone. “it’s still a loss. no use in treating it like it doesn’t matter, just because she wasn’t the one you know.” she glances at josh, and then back at you, and you’re pretty sure that she’s comparing your identical faces. 

“thanks, kat,” you say, and if it’s weird to nickname someone you’re technically meeting for the first time, it doesn’t feel it. 

josh takes a deep breath, nearly a sigh, in and out. a reset. “what now?” he asks. 

your fingers brush the device, laid on a chair next to you. “i guess i just keep going. janice can’t help, and rachel… can’t help, and there’s no way to find raus and klaus without rachel. they like to keep a low profile.” 

“i can get you some coffee before you go,” josh interjects. “or you can stay the night at our apartment, if you haven’t slept in a while. i want to help in whatever way we can.” 

“i could use coffee, i guess,” you say. josh gets up and heads to the back of the counter, without asking for your order or anything. of course he wouldn’t have to. 

when he’s busy making the coffee, katrina grabs both your hands firmly. she looks straight into your eyes. “promise me you won’t give up,” she says. “i don’t know how long it’s going to take, but i know you’ll make it. you’re going to get home if you don’t give up. don’t settle. don’t convince yourself you can’t do it. promise me.” 

you look at her, dead-serious and determined. you’re only just meeting, but she knows how to cut to the quick of you and then suture it back up. it might as well be your katrina, right in front of you; it might as well be her speaking through another self. 

“i promise,” you say, and decide that you mean it.

[queenofbaws]

2, 4, 8 and 9 for the (almost) midnight society!

ohohohoh i submit for approval to the midnight society...these spooky, spooky answers! ;Pc

2: What scene did you first put down?

oh god, honestly????? honestly and for true?????????? BETH'S CHAPTER SLDKFJSLKDJF even though it comes nearly last in the fic itself, beth's story was the one that came to me first - her and josh bickering, leading into her absolutely awful story about one of my biggest fears bleugh bleugh bLEUGH hehehehehehe

oh tale of the itch, you live with me eternally...........

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

again, i am...so predictable.

That time it was Ashley’s turn to splutter. “Dawn?!” she asked, looking up from her own feet, “You want us to wait until dawn?!” “Until dawn?!” Hannah repeated, pressing her fingers hard against her mouth as though it was only a matter of time before she started chewing her nails off. “How are we supposed to make it until dawn?!” Emily, of course, had to get her own two cents in: “You expect us to just sit here until dawn?!” “There’s some crazy guy out here leaving us love poems by the door, and you want us to chill until dawn,” Mike scoffed. “Are you shitting me?” Lowering the blinds of one more window (while thinking bitterly of the ones that didn’t close), Matt paused only long enough to shoot the group of them a perplexed glance. “Why do you guys keep saying it like that?”

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

YES, actually!!! no one person in particular, but an event for sure: there was one (1) year i went to summer camp while still in grade school, and during that camp there was one (1) night we sat around a bonfire and the counselors told us ghost stories. without us knowing, they had, in fact, rigged lights in the woods to look like ghostly eyes that would flicker on and off during said stories.

i did not sleep for about a month after.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

at the time of writing, no!!! right now? currently? as we speak? ...perhaps a couple ;) hehehe

i knew very much what kind of story i wanted each of the blackwood kids to tell, AND i knew what i wanted the sort of..."framing" story to be alongside that, but now i am very much trying to recapture a little shred of that magic with some other supermassive groups, if you catch my drift 👀 so there are a few drafts of similar - but different - stories in my wips rn for SURE >:)

[xplrvibes]

What were your thoughts on the first episode?

I personally felt it felt a bit rushed and very introductory, we barely got any investigation, we hardly saw Josh and so much time was spent on exposition. I hope the nexxt 2 episodes are better as they won't have to do so much explaining about the location and why they're doing this and why they brought it.

I actually kind of liked it.

Spoilers for the video behind the cut:

I agree with you - it was definitely an introductory episode, and very heavy on exposition. Because of that, it kind of felt like not much happened.

But that's ok, in my eyes. They have to set the story up (which they did well) and give the background to the place before they get into the dumb shit, like Sam in a grave and Colby getting freaky in the boiler room.

I always like when Josh is with them, so that was a definite plus. I like that they didn't hide that Zach was with them as well - love the full transparency. And I really, REALLY liked that they spent significant time alone in the building even if we didn't see much of it in this first episode. I hope we get more solo stuff in episodes 2 and 3.

One slight critique I have is with the exposition. It feels like they are trying really, really hard to fit in this narrative that they aren't welcome in this school and that they are going to have problems as the new owners, and I feel that is a little....heavy handed. Maybe the living doesn't want them owning the place, but I see no evidence thus far of the dead giving a shit one way or the other.

Back to the positives: I love the editing in this video, and I can't put my finger on why. I don't think they did anything different than usual, but I liked the way they toggled back and forth between current day and 2 months prior to slowly lay out their story. My stated concerns about the story aside, it was just well done story weaving.

As far as anything evidence they got - eh. I didn't see a single thing in that thermal pic, sorry boys. I'm sure it's my bad eyesight 🤣.

Estes is always fun. The talent show thing....while I normally don't enjoy when they throw little challenges and skits in, I actually didn't mind this one. It was kind of cute watching them just be wholesome idiots for no reason, and it didn't go on too long.

I have no idea where Sam and Josh got the impression that Colby was in danger in the cemetery but props to them for dropping everything to go find him - only for him to just be chilling in the building cause the cemetery was a big ol' bustaroo lol.

But yea. I would say overall, it was a solid introductory episode to set up the next two - which I expect to really pack a punch. I'd say overall, it was a 7/10.

Thoughts?

[cynthiasoriano]

     Whatever other mess you gone and got yourself into. The comment had encouraged a laugh from her while also giving a reminder of how much time had been lost. ❝ ⸻ Please, I would honestly be the happiest girl in the world and if you maybe broke his nose, you know, as a bonus, in the endeavor then you'd absolutely get the biggest Christmas gift from me. ❞ It had bothered Cynthia how easily her ex-husband had gone on with his life. Karma hadn't struck back for the damage he'd done to her and instead, by last she'd heard at least, he was still doing very well. She didn't keep up on him, they still shared some friends and that was how Cyn would get wind of things. Life hadn't ended up badly for her, there was no crying over the things she'd lost once she'd gotten over the initial pain and betrayal, but there was still a sliver of her that would be satisfied with some vengeance. 

As he picked up his burger and updated her on his life, the more casual and less detailed rundown, Cynthia wondered how they'd missed each other all of these years. Could be due to her going nowhere near a ranch, or perhaps she really was just working too damn hard. A completely new venture had terrified her when she'd pivoted from publisher to podcast host and producer, so Cyn toiled constantly to make something of it. ❝ I'm happy to hear it, Trav. And you look good, too. Happier, I'd say. ❞ 

When Travis picked up his phone and snapped a pic Cynthia gave a little pose and smiled. She'd never been camera shy and had always been the girl that loved to commemorate moments. ❝ Good, ❞ she'd chuckled a little, reasonably happy at the fact that at least one ex suffered the loss of her in their life. As much as she'd visited family over the years after leaving for the big city up north for holidays and such Cyn had missed out on catching up with Travis during those times due to Josh. These days she was very much over that and walking on eggshells for anyone else. ❝ Lame ex actually did me a favor so I guess I can't hate him that much, ❞ she'd made a face and had shrugged, ❝ I left New York and my life's goal of being a publisher behind and started up a production company with a couple of podcasts. And — I've kind of hit it big. ❞ Cynthia had even become pretty popular on social media. Pride shone from her eyes as she peered at Travis across from her. When the waitress dipped by she ordered a Coke Zero. ❝ You know I've been back for about five years now, right? ❞ Which meant she needed to make some strides on keeping in touch as well. ❝ I think I've been working too hard to make it, you know? I'm trying to settle with that need now, though. But yes, we need to be in better touch. ❞

There was something different about Travis that she couldn't quite put her finger on but chalked it up to growth. With all the time that had gone by they were each bound to mature and evolve as they moved through their life experiences. He seemed calmer, more settled and when Travis mentioned his daughter it clicked and all made sense to Cynthia. ❝ Oh my god, ❞ she covered her mouth briefly with her hands, ❝ I'd love to meet her. Only ten, though, give her time and she'll show you what you put your parents through. ❞ It was only a tease and she winked at him. ❝ I'm sure she's got your best qualities, Trav. Does she want an orange cat by any chance? ❞

He lets out a boisterous laugh, clearly amused by her reciprocated playfulness. Afterwards, he takes a napkin and wipes at his mouth before leaning back in his booth, eyeing Cynthia as she makes her way over. It was nice to know, she still had that spark, the same one that used to drive him and anyone else she might've known crazy—both in the good and bad ways.

"Well, ain't that a story," he chuckles, whilst shaking his head. "The betrayal, divorce, and whatever other mess you gone and got yourself into... makes me want to go find your ex and remind 'em what they lost." He grins at her, although there's something truthful behind his eyes—something softer than she's likely used to, and a little more genuine. He doesn't know quite how she feels but, he imagines it's gotta hurt. And, Cynthia of all people doesn't deserve that.

"Been good, though," he continues in an effort to change the subject, while picking up his burger for yet another bite. "You know me. Same ol', same ol'. Workin' on the ranch now, still fuckin' with Josh, gettin' through the days as best I can. But you know," he shrugs, "it’s been a hell of a lot quieter without you around."

After polishing off the last of his burger, Travis leans forward with a wink, and unlocks his phone to snap a picture of her. Not to actually send to Josh but, to update her contact image in his phone. "I'm not sure you have to worry. Josh is still lost without you." Perhaps, they all are. When she left for New York, she took all the fun with her. "But—how’s life been treatin' you otherwise? Lame ex aside. I know I ain’t been the best at keepin' in touch but you know, you bein' around again will make things easier."

There was an honesty to his words, the kind that didn’t often find its way into their playful banter. As far as she knew him, Travis was always the type to deflect personal feelings with humor. "You'll have to come by the house one day. Meet my girl. She's 10 now. And thank god, she doesn't take after me. Then, I'd truly be in trouble."

[ageofbarbarians]

Worked Up // D.R.W

AgeOfBarbarians

Summary: You had a great relationship with the Kiszka brothers since you’ve known each other for years. Danny on the other hand? Not so much… things change after a night out at the bar to celebrate the boys’ newest album release.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Drinking, Smut, Unprotected Sex (wrap it up lovelies, no crotch goblins), Oral Sex, Fingering, Name Calling, Language, Edging, Choking, Praise Kink, Daddy Kink if you squint,

Word Count: 7.7k

M A S T E R L I S T

“Can you just shut the fuck up for one minute? Please?” You rubbed your temples as you grit your teeth, avoiding any eye contact with the boys who sat around the table with you. You were celebrating with the Kiszka boys after their newest album The Battle at Gardens Gate had just been released. Oh… and Danny.

Danny. Daniel fucking Wagner. God, his name made you want to vomit.

You had known Daniel just as long as the other boys but for some reason, the two of you could just never get along. Which was a shame honestly, because you thought he was extremely attractive but the way he acted towards you ruined the whole thing for you.

“Me? You’re the one who is just blatantly fucking stupid,” You threw your hands up and grabbed your beer bottle before chugging down the rest of your drink.

“Who is up for another round of shots?” Jake asked, clearly trying to pull himself away from the situation. Josh followed him and Sam sighed since he knew he was going to be the peacekeeper like he was every other time.

“So, Y/N,” Sam broke your attention and you let go of the daggers you were boring into Danny’s soul. You gave Sam a light smile, signaling for him to continue.

“You still haven’t told us your favorite song off the album,” Sam took a swig from his beer before gently sitting it back down on the table. You thought for a moment before responding.

“The Barbarians, mmm, no actually, Trip the Light Fantastic. I love the piano in the beginning I think it’s—“

“It’s actually a synth,” Danny cut you off as he scoffed.

“Danny really you-“

“Dude are you actually fucking serious?” You yelled a little too loud, gaining attention from some of the other surrounding tables. You smiled weakly at them and put your hand up as a way to apologize for the outburst.

“What? I’m just telling her what it was?” You could hear the attitude in Danny’s voice as he talked to Sam. You shook your head and before you could start going off on Danny again, Jake and Josh came back with shots. You grabbed one quickly before downing it. You hit the glass on the table and stood up and walked away.

“Y/N!” You heard Jake call after you but you stormed out of the bar, not even minding the people giving you strange looks. You pulled a pack of cigarettes out of your purse that you only used when you were extremely stressed. You leaned against the brick wall of the bar, the cool Michigan April air nipping at your skin through your sweater. You knew you should be wearing a jacket or a coat of some kind but you didn’t want to go back inside to grab it.

You sat on the cold hard cement and took a long drag from your cigarette. You felt the familiar tightening in the back of your throat and you couldn’t help the tears that slid down your face. You wiped them away with the sleeve of your sweater but they just kept coming no matter how hard you tried to get them to stop.

“Y/N,” Jake rested his hand against your shoulder softly, catching you off guard.

“I just don’t fucking get it,” you started as you shook your head. Jake sat next to you and he let you lean into his side, not even minding the cigarette between your fingers. Usually when you smoked the boys have you shit since it was bad for you but it was so rare that you did it that there was no point. Plus with your current state, the last thing Jake wanted to do was piss you off even more.

“I just don’t understand why he’s up my ass about every little thing. For fucks sake, we’re out here celebrating you guys tonight and of course, we end up arguing and it ruins the whole night.” You took another drag from your cigarette before ashing it next to you.

“Honestly I wish I knew,” Jake responded softly. It was quiet for a minute before you just started to laugh softly to yourself.

“What?” He questioned.

“Do you wanna know something crazy?” You turned to meet Jake’s face and he raised a brow at you with a low hum. You took a final drag from your cigarette before putting it out on the cement and tossing it somewhere against the building.

“I used to think Danny was so attractive. I actually had a crush on him at one point. I was head over heels for him and honestly, those feelings never really went away. But the way he talks to me and the way he treats me, I just can’t. I can’t bring myself to think of him that way.” You admitted quickly. You realized that you probably shouldn’t have even said anything but the alcohol that raged through your system let the confession slip out. I mean hey, drunk words are sober thoughts, right?

“Really? I didn’t know that.” Jake looked at you in shock, unsure of what to even say.

“Because nobody did. Do you know how much shit he would give me if he ever found out? Which reminds me, this is between us, just like every other secret.” You held up your pinky so Jake would pinky promise with you. Your fingers connected and you wrapped them around each other to seal the deal.

Out of all the boys, you were closest to Jake. He knew every little detail about you and you knew every detail about him. There had been many nights where the two of you stayed up until 3a.m. talking about anything and everything, he was there for you through your first big heartbreak, you were there the day when Jake broke his arm wrestling and three days after before he went into surgery to get the plates put into his arm. You had been there for each other for just about every single life event that had gone on. He truly was your best friend.

“Do you think telling him that would change anything?” He asked and you about doubled over from laughter.

“Seriously? Me actually telling him that I liked him at one point? Keep in mind, liked, as in past tense,” you scoffed. The wind began to blow and you shivered from the crisp air.

“I mean I don’t know, it could make a difference,” Jake shrugged and he stood up. He offered his hand out to you to help you up and you took it and smiled as a thank you.

“I highly doubt it.” You shook your head. The two of you walked back into the bar and you went up to the counter by yourself. You ordered three shots, two for you and one for Jake. You figured that if you were spending the rest of the night with them you might as well get drunk to enjoy yourself.

The bartender handed you the three glasses and you took them over to the table. Danny and Sam were lost in a conversation of their own with Jake and Josh talking quietly. Well, Jake talked quietly since Josh was loud and was always talking with his hands.

You handed the shot to Jake and you grabbed one before the two of you cheered your glasses and downed them together. You took the other one right after and cringed at the foul taste, blaming yourself for not getting a chaser. You felt the drink travel down into your stomach since you could feel the slight burn, but it was what you needed. You could feel a set of eyes on you, and as you looked up you realized it was Danny before he looked away.

The rest of the night went on rather smoothly. You and Danny didn’t talk for the rest of the evening which was nice since nobody was arguing anymore. You, Jake, and Josh got lost in your own drunken conversations and you weren’t even sure how you got onto some of the subjects that you did. For a while, you got quiet and just listened to the twin boys talk.

“Last call!” The bartender yelled and it snapped you out of your gaze. You looked around realizing how you were pretty much the only ones there.

“Alright guys, ready?” Danny asked as he grabbed his keys. Danny had volunteered to be the designated driver for the night which was surprising since he was a part of the band (obviously) and they were celebrating them.

You scooted out of the booth seat and stood up, grabbing onto Jake’s shoulder as you nearly fell over. This was the first time you had stood up from drinking all evening besides when you went outside.

“Y/N you’re gonna make, make me fall when I stand up,” Jake laughed and you giggled. He stood up and you grabbed onto his arm.

“S'fine. We’ll fall together,” you slurred and Jake laughed with you. The two of you started making your way out of the bar to Danny’s car while the other three followed behind you. The short trip to his car was eventful considering you and Jake had almost fallen on three separate occasions which ended with both of you in a hysterical fit of laughter. Drinking with Jake was one of your favorites, but you two were just stupid together.

Everybody piled into the car. Sam sat in the passenger seat, Jake behind him, you in the middle, and Josh on your other side. Danny started the car to get the heat going and made his way out of the bar parking lot towards the Kiszka’s house. You were quite the entirety of the ride while the four of them continued in whatever conversation they were having.

The twenty-minute ride seemed to fly as you pulled into the driveway. Jake and Josh both stumbled out of the car as you gave both of them hugs. Josh had offered for you to stay at their house tonight but you truly wanted the comfort of your own bed. You sighed since you knew in a few short moments you’d be alone with Danny as he took you home.

Danny got out of the car to help the drunken boys inside and while he was gone you made your way up to the passenger seat. You could feel your head and your body spinning as you blinked from the alcohol that raced its way through your system. You leaned your head against the window and closed your eyes, focusing on the cold glass.

You were on the brink of falling asleep when the driver's side door opened and Danny got in. You jumped slightly and he laughed.

“Scared much?“ he teased as he pull out of the driveway.

“I was almost asleep, actually,” you said quietly trying your hardest not to give him any ounce of attitude so it didn’t lead to an argument. That was the last thing you wanted right now.

“You’ll be home soon,” was all he said before the car went silent. You stared out the window and tried to observe whatever was going by, but it was all too fast for your drunken mind to keep up with.

You rolled the window down and stuck your hand out. The cold air made your hand go numb but you didn’t care. The breeze actually felt night against your warm skin. You bent your hand in a wave motion and watched as the different angles made your hand dip.

“Y/N, it’s cold,” Danny sighed and you closed your eyes.

“Can I just have this one fucking moment to myself? Please?” You sighed. Danny didn’t say anything he just turned the heat up a little higher and sighed.

You pulled into the driveway of your house ten minutes later and you finally brought your hand back into the car and rolled up the window. Your skin was cold to the touch and you could feel the blood circulating through it to get it back to its normal temperature.

As Danny parked, you opened the car door and got out, almost falling on your face in the process. Danny got out and offered his hand to you for balance. You shook your head and leaned against the car.

“I don’t need help,” You started making your way to the front porch but stumbled again.

“Will you just let me help you?” Danny asked with an annoyed tone. You stopped as you turned to face him.

“No. Why should I even let you? After all of the bullshit you gave me tonight and every other time before that, why should I let you help me this one goddamn time?” You asked with complete seriousness. It was silent for a minute and Danny didn’t say anything.

“Exactly. If anything you would just use it against me in the future or something stupid.” You turned away from him and continued your drunken walk up the stairs of your porch. You caught your foot on the last stair and you stumbled forward and hit your body against the front door. You felt an arm support your waist and another hand dug into your coat pocket for your keys. Danny slid the key into the lock and you heard the front door click. He pushed it open with his foot and he brought the two of you inside.

“I can go from here, thanks.” You tried stepping away from him but his grip tightened.

“Considering the way you just walked up four stairs, I doubt you’ll be able to make it up a whole flight.” Danny shook his head and started walking the two of you upstairs. With his help, it seemed so easy to go up each step, but he was right, without him you would’ve just ended up on the couch.

He lead you to your bedroom since it wasn’t the first time he had been in your house. The hallway was dark but you could see a sun glow from a small lamp you had left on for when you got home. You flopped onto your bed and sighed as you felt the comfort of your bed.

“Welp…” Danny began to walk toward your door to leave before you shot up.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked suddenly. He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that night and turned to face you.

“What could it possibly be?” He sat down next to you on the bed and you studied his face.

“That. Exactly that. Never mind.” You shook your head as you started taking off your boots and Danny grabbed your wrist.

“Y/N stop, I’m sorry. What? What did you want to ask me?” He asked, much softer this time.

“Why do you hate me?” You asked honestly. The question made your heart sink and you realized after you asked, that you were possibly going to regret the answer. Both of you stared into each other’s eyes and you searched for an answer. Nothing.

“What?” Danny laughed before he realized you were serious.

“Y/N I don’t hate you.” He shook his head and you shook yours.

“Then why do you act like it? I mean for fucks sake you’re always at my throat about something, we can’t even enjoy a nice night out with the boys about your album release, there is always just something!” You rambled. You searched his face for an answer but you couldn’t find anything.

“To be completely transparent? I don’t know.” He shook his head and you observed every little part of his face. Your eyes landed on his lips and they lingered there a little longer than you expected. You looked back into his eyes and there was a slight smirk on his face.

“Honestly, I like seeing you get worked up.” He admitted. He pinched his lip with his thumb and forefinger and you raised a brow at him. His eyes scanned your face trying to gauge your reaction. You could feel your heart begin to pound in your chest and the feelings you had from him once before started to slowly roll in from his simple confession.

“So you like pissing me off?” You raised a brow and trying to figure him out made your head spin more than it already was.

“I like watching you get heated about little things, always thinking you’re right, the little crease you get between your eyebrows when you get angry, the way you ball up your fists when I really piss you off, the way your thighs clench when you’re trying to keep your cool,” Danny’s voice lowered and you could quiet read his demeaned but it said a new wave of heat through our body.

“Can I be honest with you?” You asked in almost a whisper.

“You typically are, aren’t you?” The cocky tone in his voice almost makes you not want to tell him but the alcohol in your system beats you to it.

“When we first met I had the biggest crush on you. I mean it was stupid so I just let it go but I did. I thought you were so fucking fine and I thought about you a lot.” You laughed to yourself but when you realize how it sounded your eyes shot up to Danny’s. The cockiest smirk was spread across his face and you began to shake your head.

“I didn’t mean— I mean I have— only once— fuck, no, I didn’t mean,” you stuttered over yourself and stopped talking before things got any worse. You covered your face with your hands as you felt the heat sprawl across them from embarrassment. You felt hands around your wrists that pulled your hands away from your face. You avoided eye contact with Danny until he placed two of his fingers around your chin to move your head in his direction.

“I didn’t mean any of that,” you lied as you shook your head, trying to save yourself from any potential teasing.

“So you haven’t thought of me?“ Danny questioned as his hand rested on the top of your thigh, rubbing slow circles with his thumb. The action alone sent another wave of heat through your body.

“N-no,” you hesitated and Danny shook his head. His hand moved up your thigh and you clenched them together. Your breathing was becoming heavier and you wanted him to just do something but you could never admit it to him or even yourself.

“Hm, that’s a shame.” He stood up and you could tell he was going to make his way out. You grabbed his arm before pulling him back down onto the bed and you connected your lips with his. You couldn’t even process what you had done until you did it. You pulled away for a second before Danny closed the gap between the two of you again. You took in a deep breath through your nose and you tangled your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. You tugged lightly at the fine hairs which caused a groan to escape through him. The sound of him getting a reaction from you made you want him more than you could’ve imagined.

Danny bit your bottom lip and he tugged which earned a whimper from you. You moved your kisses from his lips, to his jawline, and to his neck. You bit one spot below his ear and soothed over the area with your tongue.

“Y/N, Y/N,” Danny pulled away from you and he grabbed the sides of your face as you looked at him. “As much as I want this, you’re drunk,” He sighed as you continued to leave marks along him.

“I’m sober enough to know what I want, and what I want is you,” You admitted before his lips connected with yours again. You fell back against the bed and Danny hovered over you. He grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head and the dominant action made you whimper.

“Somebody likes being controlled when she isn’t running her mouth, hm?” He smirked at you as you watched his eyes turn to a darker shade of brown. Usually, his comment would’ve made you bitch at him but something about his demeanor made you melt.

“Please do something,” you squirmed underneath his touch. You just needed him to do something to you.

“Needy, are we?” He asked before his lips came down and left marks along your jawline. Your eyes fluttered closed as he marked you like you were his. Honestly, you wished you were. You just didn’t want the constant arguing and fighting but you wanted nothing more than to be his. You never wanted to admit it to yourself but now that you were in this position, you were positive about what you wanted.

“At any point, you feel uncomfortable tell me, and I’ll stop,” Danny’s eyes met yours as he spoke with a soft tone and you nodded but it wasn’t good enough for him.

“Words, please.”

“Yes sir,” Your eyes went wide at what you realized you had just called him but the way he smiled you knew he liked it. You had never called somebody sir before but for Danny, it just seemed… fitting.

“Good girl,” His hand ran along your face before he started making a line of kisses down your neck. He grabbed the bottom of your sweater before pulling it up and over your head. You were left in your heather gray lace bra and your leggings. The sudden exposure made your skin raise with goosebumps and a sudden chill went through your body.

Danny’s lips trailed down your chest, leaving a mark on the swell of your right breast. He pulled your bra to the side and took your nipple into his mouth, toying with the hardened bud. You let out a sigh at the contact, the slickness between your legs growing.

He moved his way down, leaving faint kisses along the hem of your leggings. He looked at you through his lashes before hooking his fingers around the rather thin material and pulling it down your slender legs. Your black lace thong was exposed and the sight nearly made Danny drool.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this,” Danny ran his fingers down your stomach and along your thighs, avoiding the spot you so desperately craved him.

“Do something, please,” you whined. You needed to feel his touch against your throbbing core, you were aching.

“Patience, baby,” he purred before he ran his fingers over your soaked clothed core. He chuckled at the feeling of you.

“So wet for me. Who knew I could get you so worked up?” He hummed and you whined at his words. You shifted under his touch trying to gain more friction from him.

“It’s not the first time,” you admitted. He raised a brow at you as he sunk to his knees.

“No? Tell me, pretty girl,” He pushed. You suddenly went quiet, not wanting to tell him about the times you had come home and touched yourself to the thought of him. There had been multiple nights where he worked you up and you had wished he would take his anger out on your slick pussy. You were soaked all for him.

“Don’t get quiet on me now. Tell me what’s gone through that pretty head of yours.” He urged. His fingers softly grazed over your clit and he began to rub soft circles.

“Multiple times. I wanted you to just take your anger out on me, fuck me senseless,” your eyes fluttered closed from his delicate touch. He applied more pressure and you moaned.

“Is that what you want tonight, angel? For me to fuck that pretty cunt of yours until you can’t walk?” Danny pressed a kiss to the inside of your thigh and you could feel the electricity swim through your body.

“Fuck, yes, please,” you groaned and bucked your hips again. Danny used his free arm and pinned you against the mattress. You felt a sting and the sound of a rip when you realized he tore your thong off of you.

“Danny,” you whined. Those were your favorite.

“I’ll buy you more,” was all he said before he dove into your dripping core. He looked a bold stripe up your core before he wrapped his lips around your clit. He moaned at the taste of you, never tasting something so sweet in his life.

“Shit,” you gasped as you felt his tongue work its magic. He slipped one finger inside of you and pumped it a few times before he entered another. His fingers curled upwards and a loud moan escaped your lips. You adjusted your head to look down at the vulgar scene below you and it was an image that would forever be engraved into your head. Your hand came down and you pushed the hair out of his face so you could get a better view of him. He looked up at you and you could see the devilish smirk across his face.

“Fuck, Danny,” you moaned out as you could feel your legs begin to shake. It was insane how fast he was bringing you to your peak but from his demeanor, you knew it wasn’t going to be the only orgasm of the night.

“You’re close are you, doll?” The simple name caused you to let out a whimper and you nodded your head. His fingers continued their brutal pace while his thumb worked against your swollen clit.

“S-so, so close,” was all you could manage to get out. The feeling in your stomach was bound to snap, all you needed was the word from him.

“Do you wanna cum? Cum all over my fingers like a dirty slut?” Danny began to make a mark on your thigh. Biting the area before soothing it over with his tongue.

“Please, I’m, fuck, I’m so close. Please let me cum, please,” Your head fell back again and your legs shook violently. You needed the sweet release but you had a feeling if you didn’t obey it would make matters worse.

“Cum for me, pretty girl, all over my fingers,” His mouth attached to your clit again as you came undone around him. He groaned as he lapped up every bit of you, not wanting to miss a drop. Your moans bounced off the walls and you couldn’t help but arch your back.

As you came down from your high, Danny stood back up and you scrambled off the bed before getting on your knees in front of him. You worked on the buttons of his jeans before he sat his hands over the top of yours.

“Y/N, you don’t have—“

“I want to, I’ve thought about this so many times, just a taste,” you begged and he let you continue. You wrapped your fingers around his belt loops and tugged his jeans down his slender legs. He stepped out of them as they reached his ankles, leaving him in his dark blue boxers. You could see the hardened outline of him and there was a spot that was darker where the precum leaked from his tip.

You pulled on the band of his boxers, desperate to get them off. As you pulled them down, his cock sprung free and slapped against his stomach. You about drooled from the sight of him but his size was intimidating. You had never expected Danny to be small but you definitely weren’t expecting this.

You grabbed the base of him and pumped him a few times before slowly taking his tip into your mouth. You flattened your tongue out against him as you sunk down onto him. He hissed and leaned his head back as you swirled your tongue around his cock.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like that. Sucking my cock so well,” He moaned and his words were enough to send you over the edge again. You looked up at him through your lashes and watched as his chest rose and fell with each movement. You took him as far down the back of your throat as you could and you paused as his tip hit the back of your throat. You sat there for a moment before you gagged and came up for a breath of air. His fingers dug into your hair as he pulled you up to your feet. You whined at the loss of contact with him and he laughed.

“Another time, pretty girl, I promise.” His hand fell across your cheek like it had done previously and his lips intertwined with yours. His tongue fought for dominance with yours and you could still taste every part of you against him. He pushed you back onto the bed, his lips never leaving yours, but only for a moment.

“Are you sure you—“

“Fuck me, Danny,”

That was all he needed before he lined himself up at your entrance. He put one of your legs over his shoulder while he slid into you slowly. Your eyes rolled back as you could feel him stretching you out. He stilled when he was halfway in to let you adjust before your hips connected.

“Move, please,” you begged and he did. He moved his hips at a dreadfully slow pace. You whined at his torturous pace and he took the hint as he began to move a little faster.

“You take my cock so well baby,” He praised and you smiled at his words.

“Harder,” you whined and he obliged. His pace stayed the same but he rammed his hips into you. Any air you had in your chest left and no sound came out. The only noise that filled the room was the lewd sounds of your skin colliding and your drenched core. Finally, a loud moan flew past your lips and Danny silenced it with a kiss. He swallowed every noise you made as you brought your nails to his back and dragged them down.

“So.” Thrust “Fucking.” Thrust “Good.” Thrust “For me,” He then sped up his pace and you cried out from the new pressure.

Danny showed you no mercy as he rammed himself into you, your hips colliding at a pace you knew was bound to leave bruises. He took your leg off your shoulder before bending both of them back against your chest as he leaned against you, creating a whole new angle. A series of curse words flew past your lips and you choked on a sob. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes from the overwhelming amount of pleasure.

“Danny, I’m close,” you managed to get out and he shook his head.

“You’ll cum when I say you can, got it?” He took in a deep breath threw his nose and your eyes screwed shut as you tried your hardest not to fall over the edge.

“I need your words,” He said again.

“Fuck, yes sir,” One of his free hands came down and toyed with your clit and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer. You could feel yourself tightening around him before you suddenly were emptied from him. Your eyes shot open and you whined are the loss of contact.

“Come,” Danny commanded and you looked at him through hooded eyes. He adjust himself against your headboard and you watched as he took his cock in his hand and pumped himself. You watched his explicit movements and the sight made you drip.

You crawled over to him and you took advantage of the position he was in to take him into your mouth once more. He moaned at the contact before pulling you off of him.

“Did I say you could wrap those pretty little lips around me?” He asked with a raised brow. You shook your head and he grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger, making you look him in the eyes.

“Good girls get rewarded, bad girls don’t get to cum,” He smirked and you suddenly felt weak. He was already denying you of your impending orgasm and you’d be a goner if he just left you like that.

“Please, no, I just wanted to—“

“Wanted to what? Be a dirty little slut? Can’t keep those pretty lips of yours away from me, can you?” He tisked and you whined at the dirty name he had called you.

“Come sit,” he motioned for you to sit on his lap. As you went to go like yourself up with him he pulled you down against his shaft and he began to rock your hips against him. His strong, calloused hands pressed into your hips and you knew he’d eventually leave bruises. Your head fell back as soft moans left your lips as you ground across him. Danny watched your every move and his breathing became unsteady.

“Feels s'good,” you whispered. He bummed in approval before lifting you up and lining himself up with you. You sunk down onto his cock and you whined at the pleasure of him filling you up again. His pace was nowhere close to nice as his hips flew upwards and you had to grab onto his shoulders for leverage. You wrapped one of your hands around his neck while the other trailed down his chest. His hands remained on your hips as he guided you down with each thrust.

You could feel him hitting every spot of you perfectly and you soon felt the feeling of your next orgasm approaching. You grabbed your chest and toyed with your nipples as Danny fucked up into you.

“Fuck, your cock feels so good, don’t stop,” you whined. Danny sent a particularly hard thrust up into you and nearly screamed.

“Yeah? You like that way I fill up that pretty cunt?” He continued the pace and you could feel the band in your stomach ready to snap.

“Shit, Danny,” you couldn’t even get the words out, but he knew you were close.

“I said wait. Just a little longer.” He sped up and you leaned forward onto him, your head in the crook of his neck. You whined in his ear and left more lilac marks on his skin.

“M’s’close” you groaned as your legs began to shake. Danny’s movements suddenly stopped and you whined. You tried moving your hips against him but he stopped you from doing so. He grabbed your face with his hands and left a gentle kiss along your lips.

“Can you be a good girl and beg for me? Tell me what you want?” He asked quietly and you nodded with closed eyes.

“Yes sir,” you tried moving your hips again but his fingers tightened around them.

“That’s not what I asked,” he scolded. You whined and looked into his dark eyes.

“Please let me cum, I’ll be so good just for you.” You tried and he shook his head in a way that was telling you it wasn’t good enough, but it was a start. He very slowly began to move your hips against him.

“You can do better than that baby,” he hummed.

“Please, sir, let me cum. All over your cock, please,” You whimpered as Danny began to move your hips a little faster and you could feel your high slowly returning. Your hands raked down his chest before he brought one of his hands up and wrapped it around your throat, not squeezing too hard. You smiled at the contact and the feeling made you want to explode. There was no better home for his hand than on your dainty throat.

“You can do better,” His grip tightened as he saw your devilish grin and he started fucking up into you again.

“Fuck me, please, so fucking hard. I want to cum around daddy’s cock,” you gasped and your eyes fell closed. You could hear his grunts beneath you and you had a feeling he was close too. You had never been edged before but it was definitely a new kink.

“Fuck,” he groaned as his pace became deadly and his hand tightened around your throat. You couldn’t make any noise and your vision started going in and out. Your legs began to shake again and Danny flipped the two of you over before he pulled out again. His grip released from your throat and tears started to prick your eyes from being denied.

“Danny,” you whimpered and he smirked down at you.

“Patience, baby girl,” He smiled before dipping his head between your legs and lapping at your dripping cunt. You tangled your fingers in his hair as he held you in place. You noticed the hair tie on his wrist and you grabbed it from him to pull his hair back.

One of the things that made you absolutely weak was when Danny had his hair pulled back into a bun. The way you could get a clear view of his face, the way his jaw could cut diamonds, he was perfect.

You pushed back the hair and tried to get some of it that were stuck to his forehead from sweat. You tied the hair tie around his thick curly tresses before you let your head fall back. Your breathing was becoming labored and you could feel yourself begin to throb.

“Baby please,” you whined as you so desperately just needed to release around him. He stopped again and a tear slid past your eyes. This was absolute torture.

“Have you been good enough for me?” He questioned as he got close to your face. He kissed you again and grabbed your bottom lip with his teeth before pulling it back.

“So, so good,” you ran your delicate fingers over his face and cupped them around his jaw.

Danny lined himself at your entrance again before entering you agonizingly slow. You sighed as he filled you up again but your sigh was replaced with a yelp as his hips collided with yours at a brutal pace. He started rubbing fast circles against your clit and you were seconds away from unraveling.

“Danny, fucking please,” you gasped and he nodded his head.

“Cum for me baby, all over my fucking cock,” his thrusts quickened and seconds later you unraveled around him. Your eyes screwed shut and a moan left your lips that would put a pornstar to shame. All of the air left your chest and your legs shook violently.

“Such a good girl, cumming all over my cock, look at you,” he groaned as his pace began to falter and you knew he was close.

“You fuck me so good, cum for me,” you praised and Danny moaned. His hands tightened around your waist and you smiled from his reaction to your praise.

“Shit,” he groaned before pulling out of you quickly. You moved so your face was lined up with his tip.

“Please,”

“Mmm, so fucking good for me. Open.” He commanded before you opened your mouth and took his length in your mouth. He grabbed your hair before turning it into a makeshift ponytail and began to thrust into your mouth. You gagged a few times and a few start years slid down your face but he wiped them away with his thumb.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” He warned and you hummed in response. His grunts became moans as you cupped his balls in your hand and began massaging them. Moments later you felt the warm, salty liquid hit the back of your throat and you swallowed every last drop of him. He pulled back but you grabbed his hips as you swirled your tongue around his tip. You could feel his legs shake and he let out a whimper before pulling away from you.

“Holy shit,” he gasped and all you could do was smile. You rolled over onto your back and he admired your fucked out appearance. You had hair that was sticking to your forehead, marks covering your neck and chest, and a sheen layer of sweat covering your chest and stomach.

All you could do was smile at the thought of what you had done and you knew it would be engraved into your memories forever. Danny walked out of the bedroom and came back a few moments later with a damp washcloth and he began to clean you up. The rough material made you squirm as he ran it over your core and he laughed.

“Sensitive, are we?”

“Says you,” referring to just moments ago when he pulled away from you. He nodded his head almost as a ‘touché’. He picked up his boxers before sliding them on and he threw you his sweater to wear. You slid the soft material over your body and it fell around your thighs. The sleeves were too long but you didn’t mind since that was how you liked it anyway.

You adjusted yourself in your bed and patted the spot next to you for Danny to come lay down next to you. He took the invitation and he got under your duvet. You scanned his features before applying a delicate kiss to his lips. He kissed you back as his hand rested along your cheek. Your lips moved together slowly and you prolonged it, never wanting the moment to end.

Danny pulled away and rested his head against yours and you kept your eyes closed as if it would keep the moment from disappearing. He ran his fingers through your hair and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“What does this mean for us?” You asked softly. You didn’t want to go back to the way things were with him.

“What do you want it to mean?” He questioned. You leaned your head against his warm, toned chest and you got quiet for a moment.

“I don’t want to go back to how things were.” You said in barely a whisper. Danny took in a deep breath and for some reason, it made your stomach uneasy.

“Honestly, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he admitted and you turned to look up at him. His eyes were closed and he just looked… peaceful.

“So…” you said quietly, not sure where to go from here.

“I say, we see where this goes. Only if you want to, I mean.” He suggested. Your heart swelled at the fact he actually wanted a real relationship with you. You nodded your head and wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m okay with that.”

***

A few weeks had gone by since you and Danny decided to test the waters and see where this whole thing went. You had decided that night to still have your occasional arguments but you didn’t want to make things so obvious for the other boys.

It wasn’t working.

“What is going on between you two? Like things are just… weird?” Jake asked as he polished his guitar. You sat on his amp and shook your head. The boys were beginning to practice for tour and you had decided to come along. But you also had plans with Danny after.

“Nothing. Maybe we’re just finally getting along, I dunno,” you lied. Jake caught your bluff and he sat his guitar down. He came closer to you and put his hands on your legs as he leaned closer to your face.

“You’re a shit liar, Y/N,” He said quietly. You could feel Danny’s eyes on you since Jake was so close. You bit your lip as you looked at him, silently asking to tell Jake. He gave you a simple nod before he continued tightening the bolts on his drum set.

“Okay fine. Danny and I are seeing each other,” you said quietly, a blush appearing over your cheeks. Jake stepped back and looked between the two of you. You stared at your feet and he gasped.

“Are you telling me that tinder hookup-“

“Yes, it was Danny. When he dropped me off a few weeks ago after that night we went out, he helped me inside and we talked a little, and things just kind of went from there.” You said quietly so the other boys wouldn’t hear.

“God damn, Wagner!” Jake cheered and Danny flipped him off as you laughed.

“Why are we cheering for Danny boy?” Sam asked as he and Josh walked back into the room.

“Y/N and Danny fucked!” Jake laughed and you gasped in horror. Danny dropped one of his sticks and threw his arms up.

“Jacob!” You yelled

“Dude, what the fuck?” Danny groaned.

“No fucking way, you’re lying!” Sam laughed as he looked between the two of you. You shook your head since the cat was out of the bag.

“Thanks a lot, Jake,” you sighed and hopped off the amp. You walked over to Danny before giving him a light kiss and the three boys behind you groaned.

“Oh god, now we have to deal with you two fucking in front of us? I’d take the arguing over that any day.” Josh groaned and you flipped him off as you kissed Danny again, this one being even longer just to piss them off. He grabbed your ass and you both smiled through the kiss.

“You’re just jealous,” Danny retorted.

“I’m gonna go get some drinks. Be back, kay?” You whispered and he nodded. You grabbed your stuff and began to leave the small little practice studio.

“I mean honestly yeah. Y/N has a great ass,” Josh shrugged and you turned around to look at him with wide eyes. Danny threw a drumstick at him which bounced right off of his head.

“Ow, Danny!” Josh complained and you couldn’t help but cover your face to avoid them seeing your laughter.

“You fucking deserved that,” Sam piped up and you finally exploded into a fit of laughter. You opened the door and waved to Danny and Jake while Josh and Sam started to argue.

“I’ll be back with waters.” You closed the door behind you and started making your way towards your car. As you got in you heard your phone go off and you pulled it out of your pocket and noticed it was a message from Danny.

You do have a great ass(;

———

Taglist: @sparrowofthedawnsworld

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[the-rarest-sexiest-coinkydink]

Overreaction (Josh Dun x reader)

Summary: Arguments over the littlest of things happen to everyone. It’s how you handle them that matters. In the early days of twenty one pilots, when their future isn’t guaranteed, Josh finds that he isn’t particularly good at handling stress... 

Word count: 1794

Warnings: Josh is kind of an ass here, but definitely more in an ‘I’m stressed and don’t know how to cope’ way than an ‘I’m an actual prick’ way. You get me? 

The house was quiet when he woke up. The sort of quiet that sat coldly in his bones and left a weight in his stomach, filling the air in every room and leaving everything feeling grey and still. His heart sank further as he stuck his head into the guest bedroom and saw the bed neatly made, the top of the dresser empty. 

They hadn’t come back. 

His mind was filled with images of the evening before as guilt washed over him. 

“Josh, please, can you just lay off the drumming for half an hour? I just wanna get this last section done.” (y/n) dug their fingers into their temples, frowning over the essay they were trying to finish. When he’d suggested that they spend the afternoon at his flat so they could both finish the work they needed to do and then spend the weekend hanging out, they’d jumped to say yes. But while it had been a good idea at the time, things hadn’t gone quite to plan. 

Josh had been working on some ideas for the music video he and Tyler were meant to be shooting in a week’s time while (y/n) was working on finishing an assignment that was due on the Monday. It was frustratingly difficult work, and at first their boyfriend’s presence was a relaxing one. 

The two of them were sat on opposite sides of the breakfast bar, laptops and papers spread out in an inelegant tangle as they worked. The kitchen smelled of fresh coffee and a soft instrumental playlist was on in the background. For a couple of hours, the atmosphere was incredibly peaceful. But then, Josh finished his work. And he got bored. He tidied up his laptop and notebooks to kill a little time, but soon found that he needed more to do. 

Thinking back to the discussion he’d had with Tyler over some new ideas for songs, he decided to sit down at his practice pad for a little while and get some rhythms out of his head, see if any of them fit the beautiful words that his bandmate had put together. He slipped his headphones on and plugged them in, relaxing as he wrapped his hands around the drum sticks and got ready to play. 

Engrossed in reading the resources they’d found, (y/n) jumped as he started tapping away, their concentration shattered. At first they tried to just ignore it and carry on, but the repetitive beats that only got louder and more complex made it impossible to keep their mind on the words they needed to write. 

And so, they had politely asked him to stop. 

Josh had barely glanced back at them, tapping his feet in time with the thoughts running through his brain. “I’m just tryna get this idea down so it matches the stuff from Tyler.” 

“Yeah, but can it wait? Is there some other way you can think about it that isn’t so... loud? I’m still working.” 

He sighed. “Babe, this is part of my work. So I’m still working too.” 

“I get that, I do. It just doesn’t make it very easy to think about the history of genetics, you know?” They’d laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood a little. But a dark cloud had descended over the room, and Josh’s continued frown made their smile fade. 

“Look, this is important.” 

“I never said it wasn’t.” Now they were frowning too. “I just asked-”

“I’m trying to make this whole band thing work, okay? And maybe you don’t think that takes as much effort as a fancy college degree, but it’s damn hard.” 

(y/n) felt like a deer in the headlights, taken aback by the sharpness of his response. “Hey, I know how hard you guys are working on this, and I know how much it matters to you. All I’m asking for is half an hour of quiet so I can get this done. And then I’ll sit and listen, okay? Maybe I can try and help you go through some of the ideas you’ve got.” 

He sniffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, like you actually care. All you can think about is yourself.” 

Their jaw dropped as he turned back to the kit, hitting the pads even harder now that he had some anger to get out of his system. “Josh, I-”

“No, it’s fine! It’s fine that you’re more worried about one stupid essay - one essay that won’t even affect your perfect GPA anyway - than you are about me being happy with my career. Nice to know. Really.” 

He’d never snapped at them before. Tears prickled hotly at the corners of their eyes. Silently, they gathered their things and packed them into their bag, dipping into the guest room briefly to get what little else they’d brought. Then two doors slammed, one shortly after another. 

It took almost an hour for Josh to notice what had happened in the aftermath of the argument. Finally satisfied, he put his sticks down - and turned to face an empty room. That’s when he realised that (y/n) had grabbed what little they had brought round to his place and left. 

Groaning at his own idiocy, Josh found himself getting anxious. Last night he’d assumed they’d just gone home, but what if something had happened to them while they were out? What if they were in a hospital, or being held hostage by someone, or... no, he couldn’t think like that. He sighed, chewed at his lip, and made the decision to phone them. It was obviously better to apologise in person, but somehow he doubted that showing up at their apartment unannounced would be welcomed. Besides, just hearing their voice for the moment would be enough to assuage his growing intrusive thoughts. The phone rang through a couple of times before abruptly cutting off. Nothing. But with the short ring period, he knew it wasn’t because their phone was broken or switched off. They’d declined the call. 

Pacing back and forth across his living room, Josh rang Tyler instead. Thankfully, his best friend answered straight away. 

“Yeah?” 

“Ty, I screwed up.” 

“Oh, I know.” 

He stopped walking for a moment, frowning. “Wait, what?” 

He could hear Tyler close a door before answering. “(y/n) came here last night. And dude I’ve gotta tell you, I haven’t seen them that upset in a long time.” 

Josh felt his heart sink. “What did they say?” 

“That you made them feel like you didn’t want them there. That you told them they didn’t care about you, which a blind man could see is total rubbish.” His friend sounded angry, and he was definitely starting to feel that it was justified. “They said that it was you who didn’t seem to care about them. That you didn’t think about the fact this essay is due Monday and they’ve got a midterm on Wednesday, even though they’d told you all about how worried they were when they got to yours. Dude. You were a real jerk.” 

He let his head drop against the wall with a soft thud, feeling well and truly like an idiot. “I don’t even know why I said all that stuff. I feel terrible.” 

“Yeah, you should. I had to come and pick them up because it was getting dark and they were crying too much to keep walking home.” 

He felt his heart sink painfully. “I... I made them cry?”

Hearing the crack in Josh’s voice, Tyler sighed. “Look man, just get over here. You’re both a bit calmer now, and you can talk things over. You can apologise.”

“I- Yeah, okay, that’s a good idea. I’ll be there soon. Thanks man.” 

Burying their hands in the hoodie’s sleeves, (y/n) chewed at the dry skin on their lips until Tyler nudged them in the side. 

“Hey, knock that off. You’ll make them sore.” 

“Are you sure he’s not still mad at me?” 

Tyler pulled them in for a hug, rubbing their back soothingly. “Hey, I know he isn’t. You know, I don’t think he was ever really mad at you in the first place. Just real stressed. And that’s not me trying to excuse what he said to you, because it was totally out of line. I just don’t think he’s capable of being mad at you.” 

A knock on the door interrupted them, and he let them go so he could go and answer it. When Josh set eyes on them, red around the eyes and pale with lack of sleep, he burst towards them and took their hands in his, babbling almost frantically. 

“Shit, (y/n) I- I’m so, so sorry. I have no idea why I said the things I did - I shouldn’t have, no way. None of those things were true. I think I - everything lately has been so hard, so uncertain - I just want us to do well, and... your degree is so stable and nothing I do is guaranteed and that... I don’t know, maybe it - I don’t even know!” 

He was practically tearing his hair out at this point, and (y/n) stopped him with a hand on his cheek. “Hey, slow down. One thing at a time. Were you really mad at me yesterday?” 

“No, of course not. I think I... I was just worried about a lot of things and you happened to say something at the wrong time.” 

“So you... you don’t really think that I don’t care about you?” 

He could see them welling up again, and opened his arms for a hug the same way he always did - never pulling them in first, always checking that they were okay with the contact before doing so. They leant into him, tucking their chin on his shoulder as he held them as tightly as he dared. 

“No. I think that’s the worst thing I said to you, and I don’t even know where it came from. I just - I am so sorry, babe. I hate that I treated you like that.” 

“Thank you for apologising. And, I forgive you.” They pressed a soft kiss to his lips, hands resting against his chest as his moved to their waist. 

When they pulled back he barely gave them a second to breathe before kissing them again with a little more force, his tongue dancing at the seam of their mouth. 

“Oh, gross. I leave you two alone for five minutes and this is what happens.” 

They pulled apart, both giggling a little at the look of mock disgust on Tyler’s face. Beneath it, the relief was clearly visible. 

“Sorry man.” 

“Yeah, whatever, I’m just glad you two are okay now. Next time, get a room that isn’t my kitchen, deal?” 

“Deal.” 

[faerygardenparty]

I have a lot more thoughts on it but I feel like they’re mostly summarized by this clip from the movie Freaky:

And it’s always kind of been hard to put my finger on exactly why this quote bothered me so much but I think it’s because of the fact that there’s that acknowledgment of problematic tropes within the horror genre (black and queer characters in horror movies are guaranteed to die) but there’s not any actual effort to challenge them, the character in this scene, Josh, doesn’t die, but his entire character is the fact that he is gay, he is the protagonist’s gay best friend, to the point where the idea of a version of him who isn’t gay is laughable to the other characters in the movie, that’s all he really is, yet because the character doesn’t straight up fucking die ten minutes in the movie has essentially decided it passed the benchmark for “good representation”

And I feel like a lot of gay characters these days are almost exactly the same: a flamboyant stereotype whose entire personality is that they are gay and the main character’s best friend (someone the main character can use for exposition), it fucking bothers me, and it bothers me that we’ve all just kind of decided we’re okay with this

Idk I know I’ve been complaining for almost two weeks now on my comics blog about this but I have to bring my main gripe here, I’m genuinely kind of angry that queer characters— particularly queer men— in pop culture within the past several years have fully devolved into blatant flamboyant stereotypes and everyone’s just kind of like… okay with that? Like queer characters in the 2000s-2010s were kind of going somewhere with the fact that a lot of the emphasis on them were that they were just people who happened to be queer and there was a major push from queer activists for these characters to be more than just their sexuality/gender but now it feels like every single queer character talks and behaves and dresses the exact same fucking way and it’s exhausting

Like, I’m sorry but I don’t actually want queer characters who feel like if you taught aliens the English language using only posts from stan twitter and seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race, I’m actually kind of tired of seeing queer characters existing solely to prop up the cishet protagonist or who’s entire character is just the fact that that they’re queer and I think if I have to see another fucking tv show or movie where a skinny little white boy hypes up his straight girl best friend by going “slay” “it’s giving…” or “in your [xyz] era” I think I might just end up on the news

[hearts-hunger]

cabin fever — part six

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

Series Summary: During your week away at the cabin, you and Sam make a pact — on the last day, if he tells Danny how he feels, you’ll tell Josh how you feel. It’s going to be a very long week.

Chapter Summary: It's the last day of your trip, and you want to make it one to remember.

Pairings: Josh Kiszka x Reader, Sam Kiszka x Danny Wagner

Genre: Fluff, slowburn, friends to lovers, mutual pining, angst, smut

Word Count: 9k | Chapter Warnings: smoking, drinking, smut (piv sex, unprotected sex, fingering, slightly subby!josh, also josh is a boobs guy oops)

A/N: Sweet cabin fever besties! We've reached the end of this little story. I had so much fun writing it, and I'm so happy that so many of you liked it. I hold each of you very close to my heart! I hope this chapter is everything you've been hoping for, and don't worry — this isn't the last we'll be seeing of Josh, baby, and the boys. ♡

Breakfast the next morning was the happiest one you could remember. The five of you milled about in your pajamas, sipping coffee and sharing little bits and pieces of what had happened the day before. All of you were in a wonderful mood, well rested and glowing with happiness. Sam and Danny had both come out of the other master bedroom that morning, to no one’s surprise. You and Josh had fallen asleep on the couch last night after hours of talking and kissing and cuddling while Dirty Dancing and Ghost played in the background. Jake had fallen asleep on Facetime with his girlfriend, and didn’t mind the lovey-dovey atmosphere one bit.

Josh and Danny volunteered to make waffles while Jake put on coffee, and you and Sam talked as you set the table.

“He’s calling me ‘love’ now,” Sam said with a besotted smile. “Here, watch.”

He turned towards the kitchen. “Hey, Danny?”

“Yes, love?” came Danny’s response. Sam grinned at you, and you smiled back. It was pretty cute.

“I love you,” Sam called.

“I love you too,” Danny answered, and you could hear the smile in his voice. 

Sam turned back to you. “Now you try.”

You laughed. “Okay, fine.” You couldn’t deny you were a little curious; while you loved it when Josh called you baby, that was more of a second name for you by this point than an actual pet name.

“Josh,” you called.

“Hm?”

“I love you,” you said.

You heard his chuckle. “I love you, sweetheart.”

Your heart melted. You knew you’d never get tired of hearing that. Sam gave you a pleased smile as he watched your expression.

“Sappy,” he said, as if he hadn’t just done the same thing with Danny. You laughed.

“We should do Jakey,” you said. “So he doesn’t feel left out.”

Sam grinned. “Okay.”

Together, you called for Jake. You heard the boys laugh in the kitchen.

Jake came out with a plate stacked with waffles. “Yes, my little buttercups?”

Sam gave a sputtering laugh as you giggled.

“Buttercups?” Sam repeated. “That’s the best you could do?”

“It’s the best you’re gonna get from me, Samuel,” Jake said tartly. Sam reached to snag a piece of waffle from the plate and Jake batted his hand away.

“Go help bring stuff in,” Jake chided. Sam loped off to do as he said, and you smiled as you saw Danny greet him with a kiss, spatula in hand and a smudge of flour on his cheek.

When the five of you sat down at the table and started passing waffles and syrup and bacon between each other, Jake insisted on hearing the details of yesterday’s drama. You and Josh went first, and the guys rolled their eyes and gave exaggerated groans at every point in the story where some kind of miscommunication or confusion popped up. They made you laugh, and you were so thankful to be able to see the joy in it when it had been so hard to go through.

Sam and Danny went after you; blushing pink, Danny admitted that he’d just leaned over and kissed Sam while they were at the piano together. Sam, completely unruffled as he sipped his coffee, said that Danny had given it to him good the whole rest of the day.

Danny’s face was bright red, but he couldn’t help but laugh with the rest of you.

“It was pretty good,” he admitted.

“Oh, we know,” Josh teased. “Anybody in a ten mile radius knows too. Sam’s not exactly quiet.”

That did make Sam blush, and he quickly turned the conversation towards you and Josh.

“What about you two?” he asked. “A little Patrick Swayze and chill, huh?”

You and Josh laughed.

“Something like that,” Josh said. He gave you a tender look and squeezed your hand under the table. He wasn’t going to share that you’d wanted to wait, because as much as the boys loved you, they’d probably tease you about it. You smiled back at him, thankful for his considerate heart.

When the table was cleared, you volunteered to wash the dishes while the boys worked on music. Since it was your last day at the cabin, they wanted to get in a little bit more practice time before the bonfire planned for later in the evening. Josh asked if you wanted him to stay and help, but you gave him a kiss and sent him off to get dressed and go downstairs. You hummed along as you did the dishes, proud of how each song got better with every play through.

You were almost done when they started to play one you hadn’t heard before, and you couldn’t quite make out the words Josh was singing. It sounded like a ballad, and they kept playing it and fine-tuning it after Josh had sung all the lyrics.

“How’s it coming?”

You jumped a little and looked over your shoulder. “Oh, Josh.”

He chuckled and came over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he said. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

You relaxed against him, cherishing the feeling of him so close. “You’re forgiven.”

He swayed you gently to the sound of the boys playing, and you tilted your head to give him better access to continue his kisses down your neck and to your shoulder.

“I haven’t heard this one,” you said. “What’s it called?”

“I think we’re calling it ‘Always There’,” he said.

“It’s different from the other songs.”

He hummed in agreement. “It’s a love song.”

You smiled. “Will you sing it for me?”

“If you want me to,” he said. He waited until the boys got back to the verse, brushing your hair over one shoulder.

“You've been waiting for your lover,” he sang softly, glancing his fingers over the back of your neck. “What you'll discover is she's always there. Walk a while in her summer; she is the drummer of your beating heart.”

You drew a shaky breath when he pressed a kiss where his fingers had been.

“You’re trembling,” he said gently. “Are you cold?”

You shook your head.

“Turn around,” he said.

“I’ll get soap all over you.”

He gave a soft laugh. “I don’t mind.”

Unwilling to get his pretty green henley all soapy, you quickly rinsed your hands and dried them before turning around, securely bracketed by Josh’s arms around you. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said.

You blushed. He studied your face with gentle affection, and you put your hand to his cheek and kissed him. You couldn’t get over it — the freedom you had to kiss him whenever you wanted was heady, and you still felt a little shy.

He didn’t seem nervous at all, drawing you close and kissing you thoroughly. You felt a flood of butterflies as you put your arms around his neck.

“Won’t the boys miss you?” you asked.

His hands wandered over you. “Let them.”

You melted against him, letting him take the lead as he kissed you again. He was patient and gentle, but every brush of his body against yours sent sparks flying through you.

“I love you,” he said softly.

You smiled. “I love you, sunshine.”

He pulled back from you and gave you a delighted grin. “Sunshine?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. You carded your fingers through his curls that caught the golden morning light streaming through the window.

“I’ll make you mine,” you sang softly, a little bashful of your singing voice, but his expression crinkled with joy. “You’re my sunshine.”

“Baby,” he said tenderly. His hands moved to cradle your face.

“It’s not as good as when you sing it,” you said leaning into his touch.

He shook his head. “It’s better than when I sing it.”

He kissed you again, and you sighed against his mouth. His hands roamed over you, warm even through the fabric of your sweatshirt. Your breath caught a little when you felt his fingertips under your shirt, gently tracing their way up. 

“Okay, sweetheart?” he asked, waiting until you gave your answer. You nodded; with another kiss, he splayed his hands over your ribs, fingers glancing over the swell of your breasts.

“Josh,” you breathed. The feel of his hands on your skin was incredible — his palms were soft and warm and his fingers pressed gently, mapping out the shape of your body with tenderness and desire. He was gentle when his hands found your breasts, but his kisses were hungry and wanting.

You were a little surprised, then, when his hands started to move lower, stopping when they reached your stomach. Your cheeks burned as he gave it the same adoring affection he’d given to your breasts a second ago.

“Josh,” you said.

He hummed. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just...” You gave a nervous laugh. “My boobs are up here.”

He chuckled. “I know. And they’re wonderful. But...”

He knelt in front of you and lifted the hem of your sweatshirt just enough to press a kiss to your stomach.

“Your tummy deserves some love too,” he said gently, peppering you with kisses.

You didn’t know what to say. You blushed hotter and felt like you might cry.

He looked up at you from under his long, beautiful lashes, his smile quickly dissolving as he read your distress. He stood.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. He didn’t touch you, but his hands hovered. “Too much? Should I stop?”

You shook your head, blinking against the sting of tears. “No, I...”

He studied your face, trying to figure out where he’d gone wrong and wanting to fix it. Not knowing what else to do, you hugged him tightly; he let out a short breath of surprise before he put his arms around you.

“What is it, baby?” he asked.

You felt a few tears fall. “Nobody’s ever loved me like that before.”

You could picture his frown. “What do you mean?”

He held you closer and it was easier to talk, somehow, safe in his arms.

“There are parts of me that I don’t like,” you said after a minute. “Parts of my body that I don’t like. And no one else has ever liked them before. But you do.”

You felt him tense a little, and you were too familiar with Josh’s protectiveness not to notice it.

“I do like them,” he said sincerely, his voice intentionally gentle. “I like you. Every part of you. Even the ones you don’t like.”

You pulled back just enough to look up at him; he put a finger under your chin and tipped your face tipped up towards his.

“You’re very beautiful,” he said, and you knew how much he meant it. He gave you a chaste kiss. “I love you.”

Your smile was a little wobbly. “I love you too.”

His expression relaxed into a gentle smile as he watched your face, and he traced his thumbs over your cheekbones.

“You have the prettiest smile,” he said.

You blushed under his palms and he kissed you, soft and sweet. You could have stayed like that forever if Sam hadn’t called for Josh from downstairs; Josh pulled back from you, and his reluctance to let you go made you smile.

“Come down with me,” he said.

“When I get dressed,” you agreed. You put your hands to his chest and gave him a gentle push. “Go make some music. I’ll be down in a minute.”

With a parting kiss, he went back downstairs. You finished up the last few dishes and got dressed for the day, bundling up a little; the boys had mentioned wanting to be outside when they were done practicing, and the weather was crisp and chilly.

They were doing a full run-through of every song when you got downstairs, going from one right into another. They sounded wonderful, completely in tune with each other. You wondered how quickly they would want to get in the studio when you got back home, and guessed it wouldn’t be long before they were recording these new songs for the album.

As you curled up on the couch to listen, you thought about what things were going to be like back home. You felt certain that Mama and Papa Kiszka would be happy to know you and Josh were together. They loved you and Danny like you were their own, and you knew they’d be pleased about Sam and Danny getting together too.

How much would things change with you and Josh together? Would you share your apartment back home when the boys weren’t on the road? You blushed at the thought, a little embarrassed — it certainly felt like you were jumping the gun on that one, considering that you hadn’t even slept together yet.

You watched Josh as he sang, admiring the way he moved and seemed to feel the music with his whole body. His expression was one of concentration and passion, his eyes closing for a moment to really listen to what they were creating. A small smile curved his mouth, and you felt yourself smiling with him.

You loved him. You were more sure of that than you’d been of anything else in your life. This was it, for you — he was it. The love of your life.

Even though it was only early days, you felt safe imagining a future with him, thinking about long-term plans that included him by your side. You were eager to start your life together, no matter what it looked like. It wasn’t going to be a quiet life — Greta Van Fleet was only going to get more popular, and you knew Josh wouldn’t want to settle down, not yet.

You knew he’d ask you to marry him, though. Not now, perhaps, but soon. Josh had always been one for domestication, as much as he denied it. You’d known him too long not to know — he wanted to be married. He wanted babies, too, and though you were nowhere near ready for kids right now, you knew you would be one day.

You propped your chin in your hand and smiled as you watched the man you were finally allowed to love with everything you had. You were both young, and you had a whole lifetime; there would be plenty of time further down the line for all the joys of domestication, a house with a white picket fence and a few mini Josh Kiszkas running around. For now, though, you were overjoyed with what you had, and you would spend every moment you could cherishing the man you loved and your three best friends.

—

They were full of energy when they ended the final song, and before you could even tell them how good they’d sounded, they were headed upstairs to find something to do. Jake found the football, and the five of you headed outside to enjoy the brisk afternoon air.

“You playing?” Sam asked you.

You sat on the steps of the back porch. “No, I better not. I’m worried about screwing up my ankle again.”

“Lame,” he said, tossing the ball to Josh, who caught it easily. “You can referee, then.”

You did, calling the shots on the Kiszka-Wagner version of two-on-two football they’d fine-tuned over the years. You usually ended up being the referee unless Ronnie was playing, and then the two of you would ask for Danny on your team and play against Sam and the twins. 

You had fun watching them have fun, and you collected outerwear that was tossed to you as they got too warm. When they took a break, Josh came over to you, his curls stuck to his temples with sweat.

“You’re playing pretty hard,” you said, handing him one of the water bottles you’d brought out earlier. “Here, have a drink.”

He took it and drank deeply, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand when he was done.

“Thanks,” he said, a little breathless.

You smiled. “You look like you’re having fun.”

He grinned. “We are.”

He sat two steps down and between your boots, leaning his head back to rest on your knee. You brushed his hair back from his face and touched your hand to his rosy cheek.

“Getting all your energy out?” you asked.

“Had to,” he said. “We were so keyed up after we finished playing.”

“You sounded really good.”

“Right?” he agreed, and you smiled at his enthusiasm.

“Everything we wrote is so good,” he said, pride and excitement in his voice. “And they all sound incredible — Sam’s going crazy on the bass, Jake’s coming up with fantastic solos left and right, Danny’s figuring out shit to do on the drums that I didn’t even know you could do — ”

He cut himself off, seemingly overcome with admiration for his bandmates.

“They’re really bringing it, baby,” he said, beaming up at you. “All of them.”

You smiled. You loved it when Josh talked about his brothers and Danny; he loved them more than anything, and no one could be prouder of them than Josh was.

“I know they are,” you said. “This album is going to be amazing.”

“Damn right it is,” he agreed.

You combed your fingers through his curls. 

“You sound incredible too, Josh,” you said. “Your voice — I don’t know how to even describe it. It’s magical.”

The pink in his cheeks deepened.

“Magical, huh?” he said with a smile. He looked up at you, his eyes almost golden in the sun. “Thank you. That’s sweet of you to say.”

You smiled. “I’m not saying it just to be sweet,” you said gently, brushing your knuckles over the apple of his cheek. “You’re very talented, Josh. You always have been.”

He turned his head to kiss your fingers. “I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

He grinned up at you. “Aw, I like that. Honey.”

“Do you like it better than sunshine?”

He shrugged, and you knew you could call him anything and still make him happy. “I like whatever you call me, baby.”

You leaned over to kiss him, and he put a hand to your cheek. Your noses bumped together and you laughed.

“You’re so cute,” he said, his voice completely adoring.

You blushed. “I think you’re pretty cute too.”

“Alright, lovebirds, you’re both cute,” Jake called from the yard. He chucked the football towards his twin and it bounced off of Josh’s sneaker.

“Guess that’s my cue,” Josh said.

You gave him a quick kiss before he stood; he grabbed the ball, throwing it back to Jake with way more force than necessary. Jake, as much a ham as his twin, caught it against his stomach and staggered back like he’d been shot.

“So dramatic,” Josh chided, but his grin was telling. They set up to play again, and you gathered all their jackets as you stood.

“Sandwiches, boys?” you asked. You got a chorus of “yes, please” in return.

“Can you make hot chocolate too?” Sam asked, catching the ball when Josh tossed it to him. He gave you a charming smile. “Please?”

You pretended to relent. “Anything for you, Sammy.”

“Thank you!” he called as you went inside. You heard them start to play again, a steady stream of laughs and shouts of indignation and cheers of triumph drifting through the screen door; you smiled to yourself as you set about making lunch.

They came inside as soon as you called for them, all flushed from exertion and cold. You gave them each a mug of hot chocolate as they sat around the table and started making their sandwiches from the fixings you’d put out.

“Oh, you’re the best,” Sam said when you put his mug in his hands.

You smiled. “I know.”

You sat at the head of the table and sipped your hot chocolate, content to listen to the boys talk and bicker and laugh amongst each other.

“Here, baby,” Josh said, handing you a plate with a beautifully constructed sandwich.

“You made one for me?” you asked. You’d been waiting for the boys to get what they wanted first, since they’d worked up an appetite.

He looked a little worried. “Yeah, I mean — ” He rattled off what he’d put on it. “That’s what you like, right?”

You softened. “Yeah,” you said. “That’s exactly how I would have made it. Thank you.”

He looked pleased that he’d gotten it right. “You’re welcome. Dig in.”

Sam and Jake were too busy discussing the finer points of touch football to have noticed the exchange, but Danny gave you a knowing look and a sweet smile. You couldn’t help a small smile back; it was much nicer being lovingly teased about cute little moments now that you and Josh were together, and you knew Danny and Sam felt the same way.

After lunch, the boys were tired, and the five of you crashed in the living room for a little “quiet time,” as Mama Kiszka always called it. You remembered fondly the Saturdays spent at the Kiszka house; you and Danny would walk over in the morning and spend all day there, the five of you playing outside or jamming in the basement or racing each other in Mario Kart. The Kiszkas were always happy to have the two of you, and the only thing requested of your rather rambunctious group was an hour of quiet time after lunch. Usually, you all sat around the table and did your homework, but some days would find all of you doing a jigsaw puzzle or camped out in the twins’ room reading whatever series you were all obsessed with at the time.

As you all got comfortable in the living room — Sam and Danny on the loveseat, you and Josh on the couch, and Jake in the easy chair — you saw Jake’s copy of Bound for Glory sitting on the coffee table.

“Hey, Jake,” you said.

He hummed. “What’s up, kiddo?”

You nodded to his book. “Will you read for us?”

“Sure, if you want.” Jake picked it up and thumbed through until he found his page, the motion pulling Sam from his conversation with Danny.

“Hey, is that your Woody Guthrie book?” Sam asked, interested.

“Yeah,” Jake said. “I’m gonna read it to you.”

“Oh, cool,” Sam said. He snuggled against Danny, who put his arm over his shoulder. “What’s happened so far?”

While Jake gave a rundown of what he’d read, you stretched out on the couch next to Josh. He propped his feet on the coffee table and relaxed into the corner of the couch, already looking ready for a nap, and you lay with your head in his lap.

“Comfortable?” he asked you.

“Yeah, are you?”

He hummed in agreement, slowly brushing his fingers through your hair. “I’m probably gonna fall asleep.”

You gave a soft laugh and patted his knee. “That’s ok, honey.”

Jake started to read, his voice soothing and inviting as the rest of you listened. As promised, Josh did fall asleep soon after Jake started reading; Sam followed a few minutes later, his head on Danny’s shoulder. You and Danny exchanged smiles as the brothers’ soft snores mixed with Jake’s voice.

“That’s the end of that chapter,” Jake said eventually, dog-earing the page and setting the book back on the coffee table. “You two coming out for a smoke?”

Danny eased Sam off of his shoulder while you lifted your head from Josh’s lap; you received a sleepy grunt of protest that you quickly soothed by putting a throw blanket over him.

“You’re leaving?” he mumbled.

You kissed his cheek. “Just for a smoke. Go back to sleep, lovey.”

He was satisfied with that, shifting a little to get more comfortable against the arm of the couch. You, Jake, and Danny quietly made your way out to the back porch, where Jake gave you and Danny each a cigarette.

“Crazy how cold it got this week,” Jake said, huddling further into his flannel. “I mean, we were just swimming a few days ago.”

“It’s nice,” you said, blowing out a stream of smoke as you leaned your forearms on the railing. “I love weather like this.”

There was just enough bite in the air to make you want to stay in and be cosy, and the sunlight was a deep, golden color as it bathed the woods around the cabin. It was apple-picking weather, bonfire weather, playing football with your best friends weather. The perfect way to end your trip.

“It’s gonna be cold at home,” Danny said, standing on your other side. You were warm between the two of them, and you enjoyed their closeness.

Jake took a long drag. “Yeah. I’m not ready to go back.”

You knew what he meant. This week away had been a break from all the business of day to day life. You kind of wished you could live out here forever, just the five of you.

But going home would be nice, too. You were excited to be back in real life as Josh Kiszka’s girlfriend, to have him with you even when things weren’t idyllic like they were here. And you knew Danny felt the same way about Sam, and that Jake was ready to see his girlfriend.

“We’ll have some downtime again sooner than you think,” you said. “I know you guys are going to be in the studio a lot, but Halloween is coming up, and then Thanksgiving and Christmas. Plenty of time to hang out and get drunk around the bonfire.”

Jake and Danny both gave a light chuckle.

“Let’s not forget New Year’s,” Danny said. “Maybe now that you and Josh are together, you can reign him in a little bit.”

Last year, Josh had gotten terrifically wasted on salty dogs and set fire to Sam’s cardboard cutout of Iron Man he’d nicked from a movie theater in high school. Sam had been upset the next day, when he was sober enough not to find it incredibly funny, and Josh had done his best in the weeks after to find Sam a replacement.

“Despite what Huey Lewis says, the power of love does have its limitations,” you said with a laugh. “But I’ll try my best.”

The three of you stood out on the porch for a while, huddled together for warmth as you talked about anything and everything. Jake was keen to get started recording as soon as they got back, his expression alight with his passion for music; Danny was looking forward to telling his parents about him and Sam, and thought it would be funny to bring Sam over for dinner one night to “meet” his family even though you’d all known each other for years. 

“He’s nervous,” Danny said, affection and sympathy in his voice. “Even though my mom and dad love him, he’s worried what they’re going to think about us being together.”

“Your parents aren’t going to be... surprised, are they?” you asked. “I mean, that you’re bringing home a guy.”

He shook his head. “Nah, they’ve known for a while. I don’t know if they’d know the name for it if I told them, but they do know that I’m bi.”

“Do you think your parents will be surprised?” you asked Jake.

He shrugged. “Probably not. Sam’s never come out to them officially, that I know of, but we all kinda knew he was bi.” He gave Danny a smile. “Mom’s going to be over the moon about you two. Even if she didn’t know Sam was into guys, she’d be thrilled you two are together.”

Danny’s smile was a little bashful. “Thanks. I hope so.”

Danny’s gaze caught on something behind Jake, and his expression brightened.

“Hi, love,” he called cheerfully, extending a hand towards his boyfriend. “We were just talking about you.”

Sam looked like he was still waking up, and he took Danny’s hand and snuggled close to him.

“All good things, I hope,” he said with a yawn.

“All good things,” Danny agreed, running his hand up and down Sam’s arm to warm him.

“Is Josh awake?” you asked.

Sam nodded. “I think so.”

A few seconds later, Josh came out to join you on the porch, looking only slightly more awake than Sam. He went into your arms and buried his face against your shoulder, giving a contented sigh.

“Have a good nap?” you asked, brushing your fingers through his hair and lightly scratching his scalp.

He practically purred under your touch. “Hm. Yeah, really good.”

You smiled and gave him a kiss.

Jake gave a long-suffering sigh. “I miss my girlfriend.”

You all laughed, and Jake got a few sympathetic claps on the shoulder from the boys and a kiss on the cheek from you. Danny asked if you wanted to get the bonfire started, since the sun was starting to sink behind the trees, and you all followed him out to the back yard.

Jake and Danny took care of starting the fire while Josh and Sam took a few minutes to wake up, and once they stopped yawning you corralled them inside to help you bring out some things. Josh brought out the card table while you and Sam brought out armfuls of s’mores ingredients, snacks, and a whole bar’s worth of liquor and mixers. Danny put your go-to playlist on his speaker, an eclectic mix of classic rock, folk, and pop that you’d all curated over the years, and Josh started making drinks.

“For you, my love,” Josh said, handing you a solo cup filled to the brim. You took a sip; it was Crown and Coke, sweet and heady.

“Come see me when you’re done bartending,” you said, blowing him a kiss. You stood by the fire with Danny as he nursed his own drink, nudging your shoulder against his arm.

“I don’t know if I've told you yet,” you said, “but I’m really happy for you and Sam.”

He smiled. “You have told me, but thank you. I’m really happy for you and Josh.”

“Can you believe he thought we were into each other?” you asked.

Danny chuckled. “I mean, we do spend a lot of time together. You’re my best buddy.”

You melted. “Aw, Danny. You’re my best buddy too.”

Both of you stood shoulder to shoulder — well, shoulder to bicep — and watched the Kiszka boys talking around the card table, teasing each other like they’d done their whole lives. They made a handsome trio in the firelight, their cheeks rosy with cold, bundled up in flannels and cosy sweaters. Jake said something that made Josh laugh, and your heart leapt at the sound of it.

“You really love him, don’t you?” Danny asked.

You smiled. “Yeah, I do.” You adored him; you felt like your heart might break in two just looking at him.

You handed your drink to Danny. “Can you hold onto this for me?”

“Sure,” he said.

“Or, actually, just drink it if you want,” you said. “I’ll make another when I come back out.”

He raised a brow. “You’re going in?”

“Yeah. I’m going to make sweet love to my boyfriend.”

Danny gave a surprised laugh. “Okay. Have fun.”

You grinned. “I plan to.”

You crossed to the card table, and you couldn’t help but smile when Josh caught sight of you and his whole face lit up.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he said, taking your hand when you offered it. “Need a new drink already?”

You shook your head. “Nope. I need you to come inside with me for a minute.”

“Okay,” he agreed, a little bemused. Jake and Sam joined Danny at the fire as you led Josh inside, both of you a little giggly as you started to feel your buzz.

“Where are you taking me?” Josh asked, his hand warm in yours. You brought him into your bedroom and closed the door, leaning against it for a moment.

“Sit,” you said, gesturing to the bed. You weren’t trying to be sexy at all; in fact, you were feeling a little nervous, and you hoped your voice wasn’t as shaky as it sounded to you. You knew you were ready, but that didn’t get rid of the butterflies you felt at having him in your room, waiting for you to speak.

He did as you said and sat on the edge of the bed, his body language intentionally relaxed as he took off his jacket.

“Everything ok, baby?” he asked. You read his confusion; he’d thought he knew what you were bringing him inside for, but now he couldn’t be sure.

You nodded. “Hold on one second, ok?”

“Take your time,” he said, without knowing what he was waiting for. You felt his gaze on you as you crossed to the nightstand, pulling out your phone and putting on the John Denver playlist Josh had put together for you a few years ago.

He smiled when “Annie’s Song” started to play. “Is this the playlist I made you?”

You nodded and gave him a shy smile as you took your jacket off and draped it over the chair in the corner. You extended your hand to him like you had earlier.

“Dance with me?” you asked.

He took your hand and stood, drawing you close to him like he’d been doing it forever. You felt somehow flooded with nerves and yet completely safe in his arms, letting him lead you in a slow dance.

“As much as I love dancing with you,” he said, kissing your jaw, “I don’t think it’s the only reason you brought me into your bedroom.”

“No?” you asked. You were trying to be coy, but your blush gave you away.

He chuckled and kissed your cheek. “No, I don’t think so.”

You put your arms around his neck, combing your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. “I’m ready.”

He kissed you. “Are you sure?”

You nodded. “I’m sure.” You pressed closer to him. “I’m more sure than I’ve ever been about anything in my life, Josh. Take me to bed, please?”

He grinned. “Since you asked so nicely.”

He was slow and sweet as he helped you undress, humming along with the music as he pressed kisses to every part of you he uncovered, murmuring words of praise for how beautiful you were. He blew on his hands to warm them before he touched your bare skin; you still shivered, but whether from cold or nervousness you didn’t know.

He took his shirt off and drew you flush to him, kissing you as he let his body warm yours.

“Are you nervous?” he asked, tracing his fingers down your back.

“A little,” you admitted in a soft voice. He still had his jeans on, and his belt buckle was cold against your skin. “I’m sorry.”

“No, sweetheart,” he said quickly, gently. “Don’t be sorry. You don’t have to be sorry.” He gave you a bashful smile. “I’m a little nervous too.”

“You are?” He didn’t seem nervous to you; he’d been nothing but composed, cool, steady.

He hummed in agreement. 

“I love you, and I want this to be good for you,” he said. His hands still wandered, coaxing your desire into a steady flame. “It kind of feels like the first time we played a big show.”

You smiled. “You’re getting stage fright?”

He gave a soft laugh. “Something like that.” He kissed you. “Worried I’m going to forget the words to the song, or something.”

You were endeared to his honesty and the shy smile he gave you. You pressed closer and framed his face with your hands.

“You won’t forget any of the words,” you said. “And even if you do, I still love to hear you sing.”

He smiled. “I love you.”

You put your hand on his chest, right where his heart beat. “I love you too.”

He unhooked your bra and slipped it off of you, letting it join the rest of your clothes on the floor. You were only in your underwear — you fleetingly wished you’d packed something more fancy, but the way he looked at you told you he would have found you beautiful no matter what you wore.

“You’re breathtaking,” he said. “Every inch of you, baby.”

You gave him a shy smile. “Thank you.” You tried not to be bashful under his adoring gaze, letting yourself enjoy the pleasure he took just from looking at you.

“Come to bed with me, lover,” you said, touching his cheek. You tugged on his hand and led him to your bed, getting comfortable as he took off his jeans and joined you.

“Josh,” you said in wonder, your fingers hesitantly brushing over his chest as he hovered over you in only his boxers. A simple necklace dangled around his neck, the pendant catching the warm lamp light; your fingers traced the hollow of his collarbone, the light dusting of freckles over his shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful,” you said.

His cheeks pinked. “Thank you.”

He kissed you deeply, and your hands wandered all over him, tracing the planes of his lean body. You were drunk with it, the feel of his skin on yours, the taste of gin and tobacco as he kissed you, the smell of wood smoke in his hair.

“Let me try something,” he said, lying on his side next to you. You nodded, but your breath caught when he pulled off your underwear and tossed it to the floor.

“Easy, baby,” he murmured against your skin. His fingers trailed down your tummy, tickling a little; you couldn’t help but giggle, and he smiled at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“I love it when you laugh like that,” he said gently, his fingertips tracing over the tops of your thighs, just close enough to tease. “Like you’re trying not to, but all that joy has to come out somehow.”

You pulled his head down to kiss him. “What did I do to deserve you?”

He smiled. “Just lucky, I guess.”

His hand moved closer to your heat. “Spread your knees for me, pretty girl.”

You took a shaky breath and did as he said, feeling a full-body blush as he dipped his fingers between your folds. He was gentle and slow, but every movement of his fingers drew the steady flame of your desire into a roaring fire.

“Josh,” you sighed against his mouth. He moved deeper, circling your clit.

“Say my name like that again.”

You whimpered a little when he teased at your entrance. “Josh.”

He gave a choked groan and eased a finger into you, and your hips arched up towards his hand. You let out a shaky breath that turned into a moan as he pressed against your clit, and you blushed.

“Sorry,” you said, a little embarrassed at how loud it had been.

He grinned. “Don’t be,” he said. He pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You sound so pretty like this, baby.”

He didn’t give you time to blush again before he set back to work, easing another finger into you, curling them in a come-hither motion.

“Josh, please,” you managed, your breaths stuttering as you gripped his shoulder and kissed him. Your head tilted back as he circled your clit, and he kissed a love mark into your neck.

“Fuck,” you breathed, hips rising to meet his hand. Heat curled between your legs, tense and heady, making you tremble beneath him. “Oh my god, I’m gonna — ”

You cut yourself off with a broken moan as his fingers moved inside you.

“Gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice low with desire.

You gripped his arm to steady yourself, feeling his muscles shift under your hand as his tempo increased. Breathless moans spilled from you, needy and wanting.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about you like this?” he asked, love and desire in his voice as he kept you just on the edge of orgasm. Short little whines escaped you at his every movement; your legs squeezed together around his wrist.

He kissed you. “Do you know how often I’ve imagined what you sound like when you’re taking your pleasure? How long I’ve wanted to know how pretty you look when you’re about to cum?”

“Josh,” you begged. His voice alone was going to tip you over the edge if he kept talking like that.

He looked pleased at the raggedness of your voice.

 “What is it, baby?” he cooed. “Tell me.”

“‘M gonna cum,” you panted.

“Are you?” he purred. He kissed you. “God, you’re so beautiful. Cum for me, sweetheart.”

That was all it took, and you were moaning and twisting beneath his hand as he drew you through it. 

“Oh, Josh, yes, please,” you babbled, chanting his name like a prayer. He kept a steady pace, praising you and telling you he loved you as you rode your ebbing waves of pleasure.

“Thank you,” you said breathlessly.

He took his hand from between your legs, careful of how oversensitive you were, and drew you close to his chest.

“You’re welcome,” he said sincerely, a pleased smile on his face. “I do ok? Did I forget any words?”

You laughed and kissed his nose. “No, you were perfect.”

You tangled your legs with his, hooking your leg over his thigh and pressing close to him. You could feel how hard he was, but he held you close and kept up his gentle, grounding touch.

“That felt ok?” he asked. “Not — I mean, from a pleasure standpoint, of course I hope it was good, but... in general? You feel alright?”

You rested your hand against his neck and traced your thumb over his cheek. No one else you’d ever slept with had checked in with you like this, had ever taken the time to make sure you felt safe and comfortable like he was doing now. You knew he must be eager to take his own pleasure, but his love for you outweighed his physical desire.

“I feel wonderful,” you said, meaning it. You met his eyes. “I’ve never felt like this with anyone, Josh. It feels... perfect.”

He smiled, genuine and warm. “I think so too,” he said. “Being with you... I didn’t even know it could feel like this. Like everything’s the way it should be.”

He kissed you, sweet and adoring. “I love you so much, baby. More than I could ever tell you.”

You melted against him. “Me too.”

He kissed you like that for a while, holding you as you came down from your high until your overstimulation eased. He hummed “My Sweet Lady” against your skin — I promise I will stay right here beside you. You felt yourself warm to your desire again as he worshiped you with his hands, his long, slender fingers tracing every inch of you as he told you how beautiful you were to him.

“Josh,” you said and his jaw.

“Hm?”

“Your turn.”

He watched you with wide, adoring eyes and sat up against the pillows as you straddled him, his fingers going to your hips and rubbing circles there. He gave a choked little gasp when you pressed your heat against him, his voice pitching up sweetly, and you felt an overwhelming wave of love for him.

“Josh,” you cooed, lightly tracing your nails over his chest, into the dips and swells of his body. He was flushed under your palms, his heart racing as you leaned close to kiss him.

“Baby,” he said, a little breathless. You pulled back and saw he was already a little blissed out.

“What is it, love?” you asked.

He took a steadying breath. “I don’t — ” He groaned when your hips rolled against him. “I don’t have a condom.”

“That’s ok,” you said, carding your fingers through his hair. “I’m on the pill.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice a little clearer; he met your eyes.

You smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure. Now, are you gonna take your boxers off, or should I?”

You couldn't help a soft, affectionate laugh when he quickly made to comply. You raised yourself up to give him some room, inevitably leaning closer to him, and he lost touch with reality for a second.

“Good god,” he moaned, giving into temptation and pressing kisses all over your breasts. “You’re gonna kill me, baby.”

You grinned, feeling pleasure build between your legs at the feel of his mouth and hands on you. “That good, huh?”

“Fantastic,” he said with feeling. He allowed himself a few more seconds before he finished taking his boxers off; his hands found your waist again, running over your curves with unflagging enthusiasm and desire.

“You’re so warm and soft,” he said, his voice a little lovesick. “Perfect.”

Taking your time, you sank down on him until you had taken him completely. You both sighed when you were settled, taking a moment to get used to each other.

“You’re perfect too,” you said, tilting your head back in pleasure. It was heady, the feel of him filling you, his warmth both inside and out; you were a little lost in the sensation.

“Baby,” he said after a moment, his voice a little strained.

You met his eyes. “What is it? Are you ok? Do you want to stop?”

“No,” he said quickly. He swallowed. “Just... you can move. If you’re ready.”

You relaxed and gave a soft laugh. 

“Sorry, honey,” you said, starting to roll your hips. “You just feel so good.”

His lashes fluttered as his head tipped back against the pillows, a soft gasp tumbling from his lips. You leaned close and kissed him, catching his moans against your mouth.

“Baby, baby,” he said, a beautiful, desperate catch to his voice. “I love you so much.”

His voice unraveled any control you had, and you rocked against him to take him deeper as you steadied yourself on his shoulders. He kissed your collarbone, fingers digging into your hips; your breath came in little gasps as the drag of his cock inside you made stars dance across your vision.

“Fuck,” he managed, feeling you tighten around him. “You feel so good, sweetheart.”

He had never looked more beautiful to you. His cheeks were flushed, his curls messy and falling across his brow, his expression bright with pleasure; his head was tilted back, his neck glistening with sweat, his pulse beating wildly.

He said your name like a moan, his fingers going to circle your clit again. Pleasure shocked through you, making you gasp.

“Josh,” you breathed, pressing kisses to the column of his throat. He was warm and sweet, and you felt a thrill at being loved by someone as handsome as he was.

When you pulled back to look at him and saw complete and utter adoration in his eyes, you couldn’t have stopped the wave of pleasure that crashed through you if you’d wanted to.

His name tumbled from your mouth over and over as you tightened around him, losing yourself in the feel of him. He gripped your waist hard enough to leave bruises, pulling you down onto him. He gave a broken gasp. 

“Gonna cum, baby,” he said desperately.

Your legs shook with exhaustion and pleasure, but you kept your pace. 

“Good boy,” you purred, running your fingers through his hair. You didn’t know what had possessed you to say it, and you blushed as soon as you had, but he gave such a pretty little whine that you wanted to do it again.

“Cum for me, love,” you said, touching a hand to his rosy cheek, running your thumb over his bottom lip. “Be a good boy and cum for me.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, the sound colored with pleasure, and you felt him shudder when he came deep inside you. You rode him until he was spent, and you couldn’t help a smile as he melted against you with a dreamy, blissed expression.

“Holy shit,” he managed, his chest rising and falling with deep, unsteady breaths. You pressed kisses everywhere you could reach.

“You’re so beautiful,” you said in adoration. “So good to me, Josh. I love you.”

“I love you,” he said, and you could hear the tinge of exhaustion in his voice. He framed your face in his hands.

“Thank you,” he said. 

You smiled. “My pleasure.”

You held each other as you came down, exchanging breathless, messy kisses. You were a little cold with the adrenaline and pleasure wearing off, and you shivered under his hands.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

You nodded.

He kissed your cheek. “Let’s take a shower.”

A little wobbly on your feet, you let him take the lead as he draped the blanket over both of you and led you to the bathroom. He let you get in first when the water was hot and stepped in behind you.

“Come here, pretty girl,” he said, drawing you close. He lathered his hands with body wash and washed you, his touch gentle and steadying, intended to soothe rather than tease. He washed your hair next, easing his fingers through your tangles, kissing your face.

“Nice and warm, baby?” he asked.

You pressed close to him and gave him a hum of agreement.

You took your time washing him, giving him the same gentle affection he’d given you. He basked in the feel of your hands, and he gave a contented sigh when you massaged your fingers through his curls.

“Can I ask you something?” you said.

His eyes fluttered open. “Sure. Shoot.”

“Did you...” You would have blushed if the water hadn’t been so warm. “Ok, be honest. At the end, when I said ‘good boy’... did you like that?”

His smile was a little sheepish. “Yeah, I did. Nobody’s ever said that to me before, so if you’d asked me then, I don’t know what I would have said. But yeah, I liked it a lot.”

You smiled, relieved that he’d liked it. You thought he had, but you wanted to make sure.

“You can always tell me if I do something you don’t like,” you said. You knew he knew that, but it didn’t hurt to say it.

His expression softened. “I know,” he said. “Same goes for you, baby.”

You talked for a little while longer, enjoying each other’s closeness and the warmth of the shower. He helped you towel off when you got out and brushed your hair for you.

“See you in a minute,” he said, giving you a parting kiss as he let you go to your room to get dressed while he went to the bunk room for his clothes. You dressed warmly, taking one last glance in the mirror before you left your room.

You had always heard of the “glow” that people got when they were in love. You saw it in Sam and Danny, and you saw it in Jake when he talked about his girlfriend. You’d always wondered if you would have it, one day, and you’d always known it would be for Josh and no one else.

Looking at your reflection, you saw the sparkle in your eyes, the warmth of your complexion, the smile that never seemed to go away when you were thinking of him. You gave a soft laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Josh asked affectionately, putting his arm around your waist when you stepped out into the hallway. You snuggled close to him as he led you outside.

“I’ve got the glow of a woman in love,” you said.

He chuckled and kissed your cheek. “Yeah, you do. It’s very pretty on you, baby.”

He held the door open for you, and you weren’t in the least surprised when the two of you were met by cheers and wolf whistles as you came down the porch steps. You gave the boys a wry smile as you and Josh accepted the drinks that were handed to you.

“How was it?” Sam asked, slinging his arm over your shoulder. “Passable?”

You laughed. “If you must know, your brother is very talented.”

Sam’s smile was more of a grimace. “Gross,” he said. “But good for him.”

He steered you towards the fire that cast a warm glow over the yard now that the sun had set.

“Lordy,” you said, sputtering a little after a sip of your drink. “Is there any mixer in this?”

He grinned. “I dunno,” he said cheerfully. “Jake made it, so probably not.”

You leaned against him, both of you laughing a little at his tipsy lankiness.

“You guys have fun without us?” you asked.

“Tons,” he agreed. “But we're glad you're back. Jake got Danny to do shots, so my big guy’s ready to party all night long.”

As if on cue, you heard Danny and Josh start to sing along with the Led Zeppelin song that had just come on. Jake joined in when he’d downed the last of his drink.

“I was thinking about our pact while you were gone,” Sam said. “Do you think it would have been better if we’d just told them that night?”

You shrugged and smiled up at him. “I think it turned out the way it was supposed to. Besides, we have a pretty good story to tell about how we all got together.”

He laughed. “True.”

You welcomed the boys over when they’d made another round of drinks, all of you talking and laughing around the fire as the music played. You knew none of you would be in bed before dawn — you had the whole night ahead of you to be together, and you were going to cherish every last moment.

Josh put his hand in the back pocket of your jeans and gave you a kiss.

“Happy, baby?”

You smiled and kissed him back to the sound of your best friends’ affectionate teasing, knowing you were happier than you had ever been. 

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[oliverreedmasterass]

Words: 4k

Summary: the guys get up to some hijinks and hair trouble on the set of their Heat Above music video 

Warnings: language, Sam’s hair in jeopardy

_____________________________________________________________

Sam would have been more eager to get in front of the camera for their new music video if it wasn’t obvious that the entire set was some kind of elaborate prank caused by the mastermind that was unfortunately his older brother.

Sam didn’t have any solid evidence to prove his theory that what he had originally thought would be a music video for their upcoming single was actually an opportunity for Josh to get blackmail of him, but he trusted his gut. It only made sense that Josh would be motivated to make a huge fool out of him after Sam had called him a hobbit earlier in the week in front of their entire production team. The technicians all thought it was hilarious, and so had Sam, but after taking one look at Josh’s scour, he knew he was going to pay for it later.

And apparently now was later.

Sam stared at his reflection in the mirror with an uncharacteristic grimace. He was dressed in a suit that made him look like the tin man, but that wasn’t the worst part. On top of his head was what looked like an aluminum foil helmet engulfing his entire face. Only Josh could think of putting him in something so god-awful.

“I can’t go out there looking like this,” Sam grumbled to his reflection, messing with the headpiece to try and make it look even mildly better. It was no use. If anything, the headpiece proved that Sam’s best feature was his hair, because it was completely hidden beneath the shining silver, and he looked awful.

To Sam’s horror, Danny invited himself into his trailer without knocking and immediately let out a confused laugh.

“What the hell is on your head?” he asked. Sam winced.

“Am I wearing this right?”

Danny immediately picked up on Sam’s discomfort and hurried to his side, poking at the fabric with confusion.

“I honestly can’t tell,” he admitted after a minute of silent contemplation. “I don’t think there’s any way to wear that and look good.”

“Fuck,” Sam said.

“I’m sure the costume people wouldn’t mind if you chucked it,” Danny suggested.

“Oh no, they’d be heartbroken if you did,” Josh appeared in the doorway, looking at Sam with a smug grin that immediately made him guilty. “They worked so hard on that, it would be a tragedy to toss it in the bin.”

“Why don’t you wear it then?” Sam said, reaching up to tear it off and throw it at Josh’s face. Before he could, Jake joined Josh’s side and, much to Sam’s disdain, started to laugh louder and harder than he had ever heard before. Even more than the time Josh accidentally set his ass on fire when he was trying to light one of his farts.

“I thought I got the short end of the stick when they gave me white tights,” he gasped out after catching his breath. “I was so wrong.”

“I still think you got the short end of the stick with those tights,” Sam told Jake with a frown. “Please don’t take that sash off, you’ll ruin my day if you do.”

“I think your day’s already ruined if you’re gonna have to wear that thing,” Danny told Sam. Sam hated that he was right. Even though he knew Josh would throw a fit, Sam reached up to take the horrid thing off his head.

“Oh no,” Sam’s face caved in with fear.

“What?” his bandmates asked.

“It won’t come off,” Sam whispered.

This caused both Jake and Josh to erupt into such loud and boisterous laughter that Danny had to push them outside and lock the door so he could focus on helping Sam. Sam appreciated the gesture, but he could still hear their cackles outside which made his skin crawl.

“How is it stuck?” Danny asked lightly, coming back to poke at the headpiece.

“I think it got caught in my hair,” Sam winced after giving it another tug. Danny tried to slip his fingers inside the fabric around the crown of Sam’s head and patted around.

“Oh yikes,” he murmured.

“What?”

“You’re right, it’s super tangled.”

“Shit.”

“I have no clue how you managed to do that, dude.”

“Josh must have known this was going to happen.”

“I think you’re giving him way too much credit.”

Sam threw himself back onto the trailer’s leather couch and leaned forward so his head was in between his knees. Danny watched in wonder as Sam attempted to peel the headpiece off, starting around his neck and moving up to the scalp. He made a couple grunts in pain as he got closer to getting it fully off but, by the time he reached the crown of his head, Danny saw what the problem was.

For an unknown reason to him, there was a complex pattern of sequins sewn on the inside of the fabric, which had conveniently intertwined with Sam’s hair in such a chaotic way, Danny wondered if Sam had given himself a noogie, because there was no other explanation for how it could be that bad. It looked bad, like something only scissors could fix. That was news Danny was in no rush to tell Sam.

Sam gave up trying to tug the headpiece off and held his head in his hands with a frown.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” he asked Danny.

“It’s not good,” Danny said.

“Shit,” Sam grumbled.

Outside the door where Jake and Josh’s laughs had finally died down, one of the set PAs knocked on the door.

“We need you out there in 5!” she called in.

“Is it something we can fix in 5?” Sam asked Danny. Danny studied Sam’s face that was pale with fear. His eyes tracked back to the mess of fabric and hair on his head.

“You need 25 minutes at least.”

Someone knocked on the door again and Sam and Danny both shouted that they were coming soon, and to just give them a second. But, to their surprise, instead of the set PA, Jake let himself back into the trailer. Sam was disturbed to find that he had taken off his sash so his white tights left little room to the imagination.

“Josh told me I should ruin your day further,” Jake said with a cheeky smile that quickly fell when he saw the situation on top of Sam’s head.

“How the hell did you do that?” he asked with genuine curiosity, pointing a finger at Sam’s scalp.

“Ask Josh, I’m sure he was behind this,” Sam grumbled.

“He definitely bribed the costume department to have you put that on, but you’re the one who got it all tangled up on your head. Were you breakdancing with it on or something?”

“Are you gonna help me or not?” Sam deadpanned back at his brother. If he wasn’t going to extend a hand, Sam was more than prepared to kick him and his tight pants out of his trailer.

Jake came closer to Sam, which Sam slightly recoiled at, and closely studied his head.

“Mind if I take a stab at it?” he asked. Before Sam could respond that he could as long as he was gentle, Jake planted his bare feet firmly into the tiled floor and grabbed onto the fabric as if it was a ledge he was hanging on for dear life. Sam let out a small gasp and winced, bracing himself for the pain that was inevitably going to happen. While Jake probably had telekinetic powers with Josh through their magic twin powers, he most definitely lacked that psychic connection with Sam as he gave a large yank on the fabric.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Danny tried to step in as Jake wound up to give another pull. Sam could feel heavy tears forming in his eyes, which were squeezed shut because he didn’t want to see what Jake was doing, or frankly those pants up close. His scalp was burning from the strength behind Jake’s tug and he was certain that Jake had successfully ripped a solid clump of hair from his head so he probably looked like he had male pattern baldness. Just his luck.

“It just needs a little coaxing out, that’s all,” Jake replied with determination.

“Usually you don’t coax something out with that much force,” Danny retorted.

Sam felt Jake winding up for a second pull and quickly slapped his hands away from his head to make sure he didn’t lose any more hair than he could help. With a sigh, he opened back his eyes and wiped away some loose tears.

“I’ll keep the stupid thing on for the shoot.”

“What? I almost got it off,” Jake protested.

“No you didn’t,” Danny said. “I think you were enjoying that a little bit too much.”

Sam stood from the couch and flattened the fabric back over his head and down his neck so he looked like a glittery airpod again. Without saying another word, he flung open the door to the trailer, hopped down its steps, and headed for set. Jake and Danny shared an uncertain glance and then followed behind him.

“Can you please put the sash back on?” Danny asked.

“I’ll put it on when I want to,” Jake replied.

As Sam walked closer to the studio, he tried his best to hold a level of confidence that made him look less like a fool. He figured that runway models constantly had to wear dumb shit that made them look like clowns, but somehow they always made it work. It was all about confidence, and Sam was going to make sure that no strange looks or laughs behind his back would tear him down. He was going to own the hell out of his stupid headpiece and make sure that Josh hated every second of it.

“Ah, the man of the hour!” Josh greeted him the second he stepped foot inside. “You kept the headpiece! I must say, you look absolutely stunning, Sammy, like a beautiful metal rod.”

“Not as great as you, Glinda,” Sammy tried his best to poke fun at Josh’s massive sleeves. He despised that Josh didn’t look as ridiculous as he should have in such an odd costume. Sure, it didn’t compare to what Sam was wearing, but he wanted to feel some level of comfort that he wouldn’t stand out on screen as the easiest target to become a meme. Josh gave him a smirk and shook his head with a laugh.

“Glinda? Nice one. I guess I do kinda look like her, huh?”

Danny and Jake made their way onto the set, Jake with his sash back on, and approached Sam and Josh. Danny was wearing a complex chain link headpiece that looked straight out of a Knight fashion catalog and Jake had added another metallic looking scarf around his head.

“It’s out of solidarity,” he explained to Sam with a small smile on his lips. “It’s not really fair if you can’t take yours off, at least right now.”

Josh at first looked frustrated with his band members but his frown changed to a laugh as he studied Danny and Jake longer.

“Those were my canned test runs for Sammy’s wardrobe,” he explained.

“That’s what we figured,” Jake said. “We found them in the dumpster on our way over.”

Sam gave a sniff around Danny and let out a gag.

“I think we look good,” Danny said over Sam’s dry heaving. “I’m getting some serious Medieval vibes.”

“I look like I should be reading people's fortunes,” Jake commented. Then, he turned to Josh. “You look like you could be the leader of a cult.”

“Good,” Josh nodded his head. “That’s what I was going for.”

Jake rolled his eyes with a chuckle and headed off to grab his acoustic guitar. Josh mumbled something about gluing back on one of the rhinestones that had fallen from beneath his eyes and wandered back towards the trailers. Sam, while breathing out of his mouth so he couldn’t smell the dumpster headpiece, leaned into Danny’s side and gave his back a pat.

“Thanks for the solidarity.”

“It’s the least I can do after letting Jake tug at your head like that.”

“That’s right, I was gonna ask a PA for some ibuprofen.”

“But hey, seriously, you don’t look that bad. I’ve seen a lot worse in music videos.”

“Oh yeah?” Sam grinned at Danny. “Like what?”

As Danny fumbled for an answer since he frankly wasn’t prepared to be asked that on the spot, Sam let out his first laugh of the day, gave Danny one more hearty pat, and then went to get some painkillers for his raging headache Jake had caused.

After that mission had been accomplished, Sam retreated back to his organ and tugged on a black suit jacket that was left strewn on his seat. His gut told him it was a truce from Josh, signaling that he no longer had to look like the tin man on camera. As touched as he was by his older brother’s gesture, he was even happier when the director announced that their first shot would be brief before a costume change. So sure, there would be some photographic evidence of his headpiece, but it would be minimal. He could live with that.

“I bartered with Matt to take a solid break after he gets a few shots in so you can actually get that thing off your head,” Jake told Sam as he stepped onto the sound stage. “It looks unbelievably uncomfortable.”

“You’re not wrong there,” Sam nodded back at Jake. “I can’t wait to get this off.”

“I’ll bet. Matt mostly agreed because he told me I need to take a shower,” Jake said.

“I might need some help taking this thing off too,” Danny said as he approached his drums. “I’m a little bit worried that it hasn’t slipped off my head yet.”

“Maybe we’ll be rocking some monk haircuts soon,” Sam chirped.

“Ooh, that could be our new look,” Danny sounded excited. “We’ll really embrace the middle-aged rocker aesthetic. That way people will stop criticizing us for trying too hard to be like the older guys. With bald spots, they’ll just assume we are the old guys.”

“It’s absolutely fool-proof,” Sam agreed.

“If that’s the direction we’re going in, I’m starting my solo career early,” Jake said.

“We should do butt rock,” Danny said over Jake.

“Yes, absolutely yes,” Sam clapped. “Nothing but Staind and Nickelback covers.”

“Do you think Josh can do the butt rock voice?”

“I think he has it in him.”

“You two are unbelievable,” Jake shook his head. Sam and Danny finally snapped out of their daydreaming and laughed at Jake’s disbelief.

“Go off on your solo career and watch as Greta Van Fleet’s butt rock era absolutely obliterates you in the charts,” Sam chirped.

“What’s that about a solo career?” Josh joined the group. “Who’s dipping?”

“No one, just theoretically Jake would leave the group if we started doing butt rock.”

“What the hell is butt rock?”

“Cameras are ready to roll!” Matt, their director, announced from behind the wall of equipment facing the sound stage.

“You will explain butt rock to me later,” Josh pointed between Jake, Sam, and Danny before turning on his heel to find his spot in the front of the stage. Sam adjusted his headpiece one more time before realizing it was a wasted effort, and turned back to face his keys.

“Just a few takes,” he whispered to himself.

It really wasn’t that bad. A large camera pushed on a dolly circled them a few times as they played along to their pre-recorded track. Sam tried to avoid looking into the lense and instead focused on engulfing himself in the music and trying not to laugh at Josh’s attempts to embody Freddie Mercury. They ran through the song three times and then the blinding lights dimmed and Matt called for their much-anticipated break. Sam tapped on a set PA’s shoulder and mumbled his problem to her, which she quickly met with a promise that she would find someone to give him a hand.

So, soon Sam found someone from the hair and makeup department knocking on his trailer door, armed with a brush and pair of scissors.

“The scissors are a last resort,” she was quick to explain after seeing Sam’s concerned stare. “We shouldn’t need them.”

Danny, Jake, and Josh were all inside the trailer with Sam, mostly for emotional support, but also because it was the most interesting thing happening on set. They cleared some space for the hair lady, Deborah, to work her magic, and watched in fascination as she went to work on Sam’s head.

“Oh wow,” she ticked as she reached the crown of his head. “This is a mean knot.”

She fumbled around with the sequins inside the fabric for a bit, freeing a few strands of Sam’s chocolate hair so it fell in front of his eyes. He brushed them away and continued to stare down at his bare feet as Deborah continued on. She was eventually able to release more hair after a solid period of hacking at it with a comb, so the fabric was hanging by one last clump. Sam breathed out a sigh of relief that his bandmates echoed. Watching Deborah work on his hair made them all realize how much of an asset his locks were to the band; they needed to get it insured or they’d be screwed.

Deborah started to sift through the last chunk of hair stuck in the fabric and was evidently struggling as her motions with the comb got more aggressive and panicked. Sam’s eyes were closed again as he took the force but finally he held up a hand to stop Deborah.

“What’s going on up there?”

“I’ve almost got it all out, you’ve just got one clump that’s like a bird’s nest.”

“Cut it,” Sam replied.

“What?” the entire trailer asked.

“Cut it,” Sam repeated himself with a shrug. “If it’s nearly off I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Hair grows back, it shouldn’t be that noticeable.”

“Are you sure?” Deborah asked, wearily eyeing the scissors she had brought on a whim. “Your hair’s gonna be a little bit choppy on top.”

“I don’t care,” Sam lied.

“Can I cut it?” Jake asked from the couch.

“No,” Sam and Deborah both told him.

“Bummer,” Jake mumbled.

“Go for it before I change my mind,” Sam told Deborah, handing her the scissors.

“I can’t watch,” Danny groaned out, whipping his head away from Sam so fast a part of his chain link headpiece slapped Josh in the face, which he rubbed in pain.

Deborah was nervous to butcher the young bassist’s hair because she knew how big of a deal it was from all of the reference photos she had been given of the band prior to shooting. She knew he had told her to do it, but she was still terrified that she would get sacked if anyone found out what she did. As she pondered this, she stood frozen in place, her scissors dangling from her fingertips. Sam looked back to see that the hairdresser was apparently buffering over his request and let out a sigh, snatching the scissors from her. Before anyone could do anything to stop him, Sam positioned himself in front of the trailer’s mirror, located the last knot and, in two hurried snips, fully freed his head.

A couple of bang-length hairs fell in front of his eyes, which he blew out of the way in triumph, chucking the headpiece straight out the window with a call of glee.

“Finally,” he sighed. Deborah looked terrified as he returned to her and handed back the scissors.

“You cut that a lot shorter than I was going to,” she said.

“You weren’t gonna cut it, I could see how freaked out you were,” Sam corrected her.

“At least let me clean it up a bit in my trailer,” she asked.

Sam was more than willing to agree. Before Deborah led him away, Danny stood from his place on the couch and happily gave Sam’s fully exposed, bald-patch-free head a ruffle. Jake and Josh stood to join them and studied Sam closely, trying to gauge if he was mad or not. In all fairness, Sam wasn’t thrilled about his current hair, but it was infinitely better than the fabric situation, so he was going to run with the positive emotions.

“I got bangs,” was the best thing he could think to say to his stunned bandmates.

“You’re gonna have to learn how to style them,” Jake commented. He spoke from experience, after the mistake he had drunkenly made back in 2018 to give himself choppy side bangs that only ever got in the way.

“That’s what I’m here for,” Deborah said, leading Sam out from the trailer.

Deborah was good at her job, and she made the right call when she opted to slick Sam’s shortened hair back with a generous amount of gel. With it back, you couldn’t even tell how uneven things looked. Sam was more than happy with her work, and was beyond thrilled when he returned to his trailer and saw that his costume change consisted of a comfier looking white suit and stunning face mask made of diamonds. He knew for a fact that he was going to pull off his next outfit so well, he would be giving people gender envy for decades to come.

“Do you like it?” Josh asked from the doorway, watching Sam smile at the clothes.

“Are you kidding?” Sam turned to his brother. “It’s great.”

“Good,” Josh looked relieved. “I didn’t realize that stupid headpiece had sequins on the inside. I did want to take the piss out of you, but that went too far.”

“I gotta agree with you there,” Sam said.

“I thought this combination would make you look like you belong in Vogue.”

“Vogue will definitely want me after they see me in this.”

This made Josh flash his signature pearly whites and slap the doorframe of the trailer.

“Great, that’s great. Well, I’ll see you back out on set soon.”

“See ya,” Sam waved before returning to his new clothes.

“Oh, one more thing,” Josh said, turning back around. Sam raised an eyebrow at him.

“Apparently Danny’s chain link headpiece got caught in his hair too. Deborah’s helping him out now.”

Sam craned his neck and could swear he heard Danny calling out in pain in the trailer over. As he listened closer, he thought he heard Deborah telling him she was almost done, and that she would never work on a set again that involved pointless headpieces. As eager as Sam was to change, he made his way to Danny’s trailer and, sure enough, Deborah was hunched over the top of his head, thrusting the same comb into Danny’s curly locks. Danny had his teeth clenched and was white knuckling his chair but, when he saw Sam, he forced out a smile.

“I guess I couldn’t let you be the only one to experience this today,” he said before letting out another shout as Deborah freed some more hair in a triumphant swipe of the comb.

“How bad is it?” Sam asked, stepping closer to Danny.

“Bad,” Deborah grumbled.

“It’s not that bad,” Danny tried to protest before screaming out in pain as Deborah combed out another clump of hair from the chains.

“Nearly there,” she said under her breath.

“Can I just shake my head?” Danny asked. “It should fall off, right?”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Deborah gave Danny a testing glance. Danny didn’t seem to hear her because he started to violently head bang, as if he was listening to a Staind song. Deborah at first called out in shock at Danny’s sudden actions, and Sam winced, but within a matter of seconds, the headpiece had flung off Danny’s head, straight out the window of his trailer. Outside a set PA screeched in pain.

“Not one hair cut,” Danny grinned. “Sorry, Sam.”

“It’s all good,” Sam shook his head with a smile.

“Oh god,” Deborah groaned behind them. They turned to face her and saw that she was holding another jeweled headpiece that, while it looked less complicated than the chain link one, still seemed like trouble. “You’re supposed to wear this next.”

“Aw man,” Danny frowned. “Why did they think that would be a good idea?”

“I’m putting so much hair spray in your hair, it’s gonna feel like uncooked spaghetti,” Deborah decided after weighing her options.

“Go for it,” Danny agreed, following her out to the hair and makeup trailer.

Sam watched him go, relieved that Danny hadn’t gone through the full extent of the pains he had endured over the course of the day. He hurried back to his trailer and threw on his suit, which was something he would absolutely wear during one of their shows. Carefully he set the mask on top of his head, making sure none of his gelled down hair got in the way, and centered himself in front of the mirror.

“Much, much better,” he smiled at his reflection.

“Lookin good!” Jake said through the window. Sam peered outside and saw that Jake was still in his tights and sash, but he was now wearing a large white hat.

“You’re not changing?” Sam asked out the window.

“I can’t get the tights off,” Jake called back.

“Seriously?”

“Nah, I’m kidding. They’re so comfy, I bartered with the costume department to let me keep them on. They said that it made their job a lot easier.”

“This is gonna be one weird music video.”

“I think our Age of Machine one was weirder, honestly.”

“Oh yeah, I’m still haunted by those shots of Josh riding the motorcycle.”

“Hey, no matter how stupid you look in this music video, nothing will beat Josh on the motorcycle.”

[tripthelightfandomtastic]

May I tell you about a recurring fantasy I have on this lovely wild Tuesday?

Being Jake's girl but I'm home alone for the weekend because he had an important business trip, he tells me I can call any of the boys if I need anything since they all have a key to our apartment.

Friday and Saturday fly by then on Sunday morning Sam comes to keep me company 🥰 later that day I get a call from Jake "I miss you so much, princess" and he asks how's everything so I tell him about my day "I miss you too, Daddy... Sammy was here today, he was so nice. He made me breakfast, we watched a movie together then he played with my bunny cunt oh- and he helped me finish that Yellowstone puzzle I was struggling with and..."

That's all send tweet 😗

Dear God above. I can't tell how this would end but I'd like to imagine Jake would come home and fuck you stupid.

He'd make you suck his cock until your mascara streamed down your face, you'd be gagging all over him and your chin is just covered in drool while he fucks your face while you're on your knees in the sluttiest piece of lingerie you own. "If you wanna act like a whore, I'll fuck you like one." He'd say, his voice shaking as he speeds up his pace. Your hands tied behind your back and you just get the pleasure of watching him take you, all for his own use.

It was a lie. The whole Sam thing. God you had dreamed of fucking the whole band but Jake owns you more than you'd like to admit. But you had to see what kind of jealous/hate sex you could have with Jake. You told him already that there was no affair but just the idea of it was enough to put him in a state.

He brings you onto your back, your bound hands uncomfortable against your back but your too entranced with the look of Jake's eyes on your body. He kneels between your spread legs and lines himself up, sliding effortlessly inside of you. "So fucking wet baby. Mmm, ah, fuck." His cock stretches you out, you moan as he begins to move, giving you hardly a second to adjust, his hands are hard on your hips, "Who does this pussy belong to, hm?" He asks tauntingly, his pace is brutal, your eyes roll up in your head, feels so fucking good. "You Jake." You manage to croak out, your voice hardly above a whisper. Jake's hand comes to harshly grip your jaw, making you look right at him while he pounds his hips against you.

"I said, who made you this wet?"

"You do, Jake."

"Who does this pussy belong to?"

"You Jake! Mmm, fuck-"

"Who do you belong to?"

"You Jake! Only you!"

"That's fucking right, you do."

Jake continues to slam against you, your moans are being practically pushed out of you, your tits bouncing obscenely as Jake gets closer to his climax, your own climax is nearly here. "Jakey, fuck, wanna cum for you, please, please let me-" "Cum for me baby, show me how much you love this dick." Jake commands, his own rhythm beginning to fall apart.

You cannot contain your cries of pure, unadulterated pleasure as you wail out Jake's name, repeating it over and over like a prayer. Jake presses as deep into you as possible, his hips stalling, flushed against yours. He collapses his body weight onto yours, he's kissing your shoulder and running his fingers through your hair. "I love you so much, bunny." "I love you so much, Jakey." You whisper in his ear. He sits up and gives you a kiss, one that's deep and heartfelt, "And don't you dare think about joking like that ever again or I'll make it impossible for you to walk the next day." He threatens before kissing you again.

"You're all I need baby, there's never going to be anyone like you. Well... actually, Josh is your twin-"

"Don't start."

[inkmonster21]

Showtime

Kensy Bixby, popular, attractive, talented. The youngest child of two Broadway stars, she could have it all. She could have anyone she wanted. What on earth is she doing with a guy like Judd Birch?

Judd Birch x OC

1. 2. 3. 4.

~

Kensy POV:

I gasp awake, sitting up in a flash. Ice cold water drenched me. I wipe my eyes seeing my mother holding the now empty glass. “You’re late!” I look at the clock in agony. 4:48 AM. She storms out in a fit. I’m surprised she doesn’t have a wine glass in her hand yet.

Just three weeks until the musical and then maybe I can get some rest. Connie groans as I flip the fluffy duvet off, “didn’t we just fall asleep 20 minutes ago?” I tug on my running shoes without blinking, “3 hours ago actually.” I step onto the machine and get going. I was so tired last night I didn’t even bother changing out of my rehearsal clothes.

Beads of sweat drop onto the treadmill as it comes to a stop. I fall to my knees, my chest feeling like it’s collapsing. Connie puts a cold towel over my shoulders, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” I shake my head, “Josh didn’t have it nearly as hard.” I stomp into my bathroom turning on the shower.

“Ya know what always makes you feel good?” Connie rolls up a blunt passing it to me. “Leave 30 minutes early and drive around. You deserve it.” I hug her letting a tear flow, “I love you!”

~

I roll down the windows letting the smoke flow out. Iron Maiden blaring from my speakers, the wind whipping in my hair, my red eyes squinting as my lips curve into a small smile.

I pull into Leah’s and knock on the front door. The door swings open to reveal Leah. “I like this surprise!” She hugs me and tugs me inside. “Kensy’s here!” The Birch family cheers in glee as I enter the room.

“I’ll make you a plate, sweetie.” Diane smiles grabbing a placemat and setting it beside Judd. As I pass behind his chair I slide my fingers across the back of his neck. He watches as I sit down, I nod in his direction, “Good morning!”

Mr. Birch claps his hands, “I just love how positive you are!” I smile waving my hand, “you’re so kind.” I grab my fork digging into my breakfast.

“You two want a ride?” I ask directing it towards Leah and Nick. Nick’s eyes light up as he sprints from his chair to retrieve his bag. “Let me use the restroom and we can go.” I rise from my seat and walk through the living room to the downstairs bathroom. Connie giggles as I pee. “Girl, you have that boy so damn confused on what to do! It’s hilarious!”

I stand, proceeding to wash my hands. I look at myself in the mirror, admiring my butt in my workout shorts, white T-shirt, and a jean jacket. I wanted to pair it with my white scrunchie but I couldn’t find it anywhere!

Tap… tap… tap…

I dart my attention to the wall behind me, where three singular taps sound from. I place my ear up against the wall, “Boo.” A deep voice sounds from deep within. I jerk back hitting the skink. I grip the edge of it for dear life. “What the fuck was that?” I whisper in fear. Connie rushes to the door, “who cares! Let’s get the fuck out of here! Go, go, go!” She pushes me out of the bathroom.

The three of us gather into my car. Nick scrunched up his nose as he buckles in. “It smells funky in here.”

Shit.

Leah looks to me with a smirk, “I didn’t know you smoke.” I shrug, “here and there.” “Wouldn’t your mom kill you?” I toss my head back laughing, “for sure, but she’s an alcoholic. She can’t say much.”

Nick sits up with a smile, “I want to come with you, Kensy!” “NO!” Leah and I shout together.

Nick shoves his head out the window as we pass by a group of kids, two behind Jay and Andrew, his friends.

Nick throws up his hands as he shouts, “look at me! BIG DICK BOY! Riding in the Mercedes Benz, bitches!”

~

I wipe my forehead as I finish the number, Lay all your love on me. The director claps loudly, “perfection! You delivered on your promise, Kensy! I feel the chemistry.” Ashton holds his chin high, he places his hand on my hip. I move away from his grasp.

Connie lays on the ground stretching in her dancewear. “It’s because we ain’t thinking about Ashton! Plus being a great actress helps.” It’s true. The entire rehearsal I imagined Ashton was Judd. It’s the only reason the director even noticed the change!

“Remember! Only three more weeks until opening night! You’re dismissed!”

I gather my things waiting for most of the crew to file out before I leave. I open the doors leading to the parking lot. “That musical is gay.” I jerk my head around to see none other than Judd Birch shaking a can of spray paint, finishing his mark on the side of the school. I cross my arms, “stalking is illegal, ya know.” Judd stands, putting his can in his backpack. He walks closer to me with a blank face, “yeah.” He grabs my chin lightly, tilting my head up, he smirks before pecking my lips one singular time. Then, he turns around leaving me once again, star-struck, confused, and horny. Connie shivers, “damn, this guy is good.”

~

My mother claps with a smile. A smile fueled by red wine. “Beautiful! Ah, I can’t wait to see you on the stage, baby girl!” She pulls my head into her chest. “Run it 7 more times then come inside.” She leaves me in the studio.

I rewind the track starting from the top. I finished letting my hands fall to my knees catching my breath.

The door opens, a figure emerging from the dark. I wipe my eyes, making sure they’re not playing tricks on me. “Judd?”

He strolls in casually nodding his head in my direction. “I knew you were rich but damn.” “What are you doing here?” Judd smirks at me, walking closer. He takes out a lighter and a can of hairspray, “you wanna burn some of your neighbor's bushes?”

Connie shakes my shoulders screaming, “oh my god! This is a date! I’m a weird emo way!”

I let my mouth fall gape, “I don’t know. Won’t we get caught?” Judd shrugs, “Maybe. You wanna go or not, pussy?” I cross my arms, “I’m not a pussy!” Judd chuckles holding the lighter out, “prove it, pussy.”

Oh my god. What am I doing? What is happening?

I snatch the lighter out of his hand, “the Phoenix’s across the street are dicks.” Judd nods, a small smile on his lips.

We stand on the sidewalk in front of my house. Judd starts walking across the road, I follow his lead. The line of crimson fire plated perfectly in their yard shines in the dim light. He tosses me the can and I fumble to catch it. I look at it confused, “what am I supposed to do?” “Hair spray is flammable, pussy.”

Connie holds her own can of hairspray and lighter burning their mailbox to a crisp, she screams with joy as it falls.

I ease the can to the bushes, flick the lighter, and spray the chemicals through the lighter creating a makeshift flamethrower. The leaves of the bushes burn, one bush spreading to the next. Judd laughs watching them burn.

“Hey! You fuckers!” Donny Phonix rushes down his front steps sprinting towards us. “Oh shit.”

Judd drags me away, our fingers locked tightly as we run away. He runs to a van jumping in the driver's seat, I get into the passenger side.

Judd speeds off as a cop car races past us on its way to the Phoenix residence. I laugh loudly, unable to contain the feeling. “Oh, wow!” I rest my head back on the seat.

“You like it?” Judd smiles driving at high speeds. I laugh again, the adrenaline running through my veins. “That was awesome!”

Judd pulls behind a row of buildings in town quickly. He reaches over pulling the collar of my shirt. He sets me in his lap, attacking my mouth with his. He runs his hands over my bare legs, my shorts clinging to my waist. He bites my bottom lip, pulling it out. He holds my waist with one hand, the other against the nape of my neck, keeping me close. I lean down again attempting to get another kiss, but he holds me back. His deep green eyes stare into mine. He strokes his thumb across my cheek. “I’ll take you home.” What? Did I do something wrong? Does my breath stink?

Judd pulls up to my house two blocks away. The cops are gone and the Phoenix family is left grieving over their crisp bushes on the sidewalk.

Judd reaches across my body, opening my door. He smirks, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I narrow my eyes confused, “you will?” He nods, “yeah. I’m always watching.”

I step out taking a last glance at him, “Bye, Judd.” He smirks widely, “Bye, Kensy.” He stops the gas pedal, burning his tires on the road, and leaving me in the dust.

“He said my name.” Connie bumps shoulders with me, “he also knows where you live. Maybe he’ll climb in the window and have a midnight snack!”

I walk up the sidewalk, opening the gate to my house. I walk in the front, all the lights off, Marvin sat by the door. “I’m sorry I took so long, Marvin.” He shakes his head, “no apologies needed, Ms. Bixby. I’m glad you got to see your friend.”

I glance up at him confused, “my friend?” “Yes. That boy. I caught him walking in the grass. He said he was picking you up to hang out.” I blush and bite my lip. I nod with a smile, “yes, my friend. His name is Judd.”

~

Tagged: @grim-adventures58 @calumspupils @medeaa5

[blondcs]

𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟑𝟏: 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐚 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫

how are you feeling about the recoupling tonight?

“trying to go into tonight with just... radical acceptance. we only had so much time and you kind of just have to trust your connection and... maybe selfishly hope it’s stronger than whatever they have waiting for them in there? and if it’s not...” she shrugs. “maybe the timing just wasn’t right. i don’t know. i’m trying not to think about it, actually. i would’ve been dead sure this morning that marcus and i were going back together, but who knows? it’s so real now. i really like him, though. i like to live very c’est la vie, no regrets, but i almost wish i’d done more. 

do you think that you’ll be brought back? by who?

“i’d only be brought back by marcus. he was my strongest connection by a long shot, but he was a little hard to read today. who knows, man. things are just so much easier in the abstract. we’ll just see what happens.” 

do you think you’ve made strong connections in the villa?

“just by nature of the fact that you’re spending every waking moment with the same, what, twelve people? you get pretty close. obviously i feel like marcus and i had the deepest connection and like, regardless of what happens tonight, i’ll be bugging him to keep in touch ‘cause he’s just someone i want in my life. like, however he’ll have me. and i’m sure i’ll be in touch with mali and miles and frankie. maybe josh if he’s not fending off ladies left and right. really, everyone in here’s tight. it’s been amazing, actually. you know, i came in here to make connections and yeah,” she nods, lips stretching to a smile. “i do feel like i did that.”

if you don’t come back to the villa, which islander would you miss the most?

“i’ll miss marcus the most. marcus marcus marcus. his name doesn’t even sound real anymore, but um... no, i think more than individual people, i’ll miss... this moment in time. this group of twelve as it is right now is about to change. we’ll never all be here again the way it is right now and i feel like everyone has been so integral to the experience, so i’ll just miss the collective. but it’s scary and exciting. i’m ready for whatever comes next.” 

who would you be most excited to meet from the opposite villa?

she’s trying to remember who’s over there. “oh, i’m dying to meet romi and naomi. for obvious reasons, but really everyone. it was bizarre meeting these guys after catching them on tv. just comparing them to their virtual selves, you know? would love to meet the ladies.” 

how are you feeling about the odds of your other bombshells? who do you think has made the best connections?

“i think frankie will take miles. i hope she does, anyway. no disrespect to what she has back at the villa, but i think they’re so well suited and just really fun. and then i suspect adela’ll make it back. can’t say why or with whom, she just has that sort of personality. like, mad scrappy and ambitious, and she’s been putting in work. with mal it’s a tough one... she might’ve played it too risky going guns blazing for josh, but i hope she gets brought back. can’t really speak on what’s going on with layla or phoebe. who knows. things change really fast. i think we’re all as excited as the people watching from home to see how it turns out. fingers crossed.”

[flowerpoweranthem]

It’s all about fxcking - Dr. JMK (smut)

josh/fem reader

word count: 2000

summary: You decide to give spiritual psychology a try and get more than you bargained for

You saw a pamphlet at your local crystal shop that caught your eye. That’s how you ended up standing in front of the office of Dr. JMK, a spiritual psychologist. You weren’t sure if you would actually follow through, but you were always open to trying new things. You take one last deep breath, open the door, and step inside.

Immediately, you’re hit with the smell of incense burning, which seems to be some mix of patchouli and sandalwood. When you take a look around you notice ambient lighting, lots of colorful tapestries, and plenty of crystals. You’re still unsure but the environment immediately helps you relax a bit.

You jump slightly when someone enters from a hallway to your left. You let out a small laugh but instantly stop when you let your eyes focus on the man in front of you. He is dressed in all white, with a head full of soft curls. He has soulful brown eyes, highlighted by his glasses. “Hi, I'm here to see Dr. JMK.” You stutter a bit, which makes your face flush. Immediately the man smiles, and it’s so stunning that your face burns even brighter. “That’s me” he replies, as he motions you to follow him.

You follow him down the hallway and into another room straight ahead. This room has a similar vibe as the previous one, the only difference being the addition of a couch and a few chairs. Dr. JMK asks you to take a seat, and you happily oblige. “Have you ever been to a spiritual psychologist before?” he asks. You shake your head no. He smirks and quickly replies, “Use your words, don’t be afraid to speak freely here.” You find him intimidating but you're interested to see where this goes. “I have never been to a spiritual psychologist, no.” He smiles and nods, then stands and walks over to a stereo in the corner of the room. He begins to play soft ambient music, and looks over his shoulder at you with a devious smirk on his face.

“Spirituality is all about opening up your mind, but it’s also about physically connecting to the world around you” He says. “If you ever get uncomfortable during this session, please let me know. The emotions you feel may be overwhelming.”

At this point he walks over to the couch you are sitting on and lowers himself beside you. He reaches over to a small table beside the couch and lights an incense. He looks you dead in the eyes, before slowly bringing it to his soft lips and taking a slow drag. After a few seconds, he puts it aside while exhaling into your face. You’re trying to stay professional, but you can’t keep your eyes from drifting to his mouth.

“For the first part of the session, I am going to ask you to close your eyes. I am then going to touch you, and I want you to tell me what you’re feeling.”

You immediately shut your eyes, you’re just so enamored with this man and eager to please him. He begins by brushing his fingers up the length of your arms, and immediately goosebumps rise. His touch feels like fire on your skin and awakens something deep within you. As he moves upward, he gently runs his fingers along the side of your neck. You let out a little moan of satisfaction, and you hear him slightly laugh under his breath.

“Remember what I said sweetheart, I need you to use your words.” His voice has a slight rasp to it that makes your insides flutter.

You manage to get the words out, although they come out low and unsure… “That feels really good Dr.”

“Josh, just call me Josh.” he quickly replies.

At this point, he asks you to open your eyes. When you do, his face is a mere inches away from yours. The eye contact is so intense that you have to lower them, which you realize is a mistake when you see him bite his lower lip. Before you realize what you’re doing, your lips are crashing into his.

You feel him smile against your lips, before he grabs your neck and pulls you in closer. Immediately you’re on fire, as the kiss turns more passionate and you both allow your hands to wander. His hands are all over you, slightly pulling your hair while the other digs into your thigh. You begin to let out quiet little moans and you're eager to get closer to him.

He pulls away from you and asks, “would you like to do something for me?”

You instantly nod, and he guides you from your spot on the couch onto your knees in front of him. You easily understand what he is asking for, and while your nervous hands fumble while unbuttoning pants you see him reach to the same small table as earlier and grab a joint.

You slide his pants down past his hips, as he places the joint in his mouth and proceeds to light it. You allow yourself to look him over, noticing how hard he is. You work up the courage to grab his boxers and pull them down as well, and you take his cock in your hands. You lick from the base to the tip, before taking him in your mouth. You slowly work your way up and down, while skillfully swirling your tongue. Josh uses one hand to carefully hold back your hair, and you notice when he throws his head back a bit. Josh takes a long pull from the joint, then guides you off of his dick. He then slowly leans forward while cupping your face. You instinctively open your mouth. His lips brush your own, as he blows the smoke into your mouth. You inhale and then exhale, all while never breaking eye contact. Josh smirks at you. “You’re such a good girl.”

It takes everything in you not to let out a sound once you hear those words come out of his mouth. At this point he helps you off your knees and brings you up next to him on the couch. He grips the edge of your shirt, and slowly pulls it over your head. Your pulse begins to quicken as he places his lips against your shoulder, and begins to plant soft kisses against your skin. While he slowly trails his mouth down your body, his hands reach around to undo your bra. Easily undoing the clasp, he pulls the straps off your shoulders and down your arms before throwing it to the far corner of the room.

You begin to get nervous, as you are now exposed from the hips up. Josh quickly eases your nerves when you notice the lust in his eyes as he slowly rakes them over you. At this point he helps you lie back against the couch, as his mouth begins to explore your skin again. He takes one of your breasts in his hand while his mouth hovers over the other. He takes you into his mouth, swirling his tongue while his hand explores elsewhere. You let out a gasp, at this point you’re in desperate need of some kind of relief. Thankfully, he proceeds to trail his mouth downwards before stopping at the top of your pants. He sits back as his fingers quickly undo the button and you eagerly lift your hips for him.

Josh slowly removes the last bit of clothing from your body before placing them on the floor, he then looks up and says, “you’re not allowed to finish until I give you permission, do you think you can do that for me baby?”

You quickly nod your head, eager to have his mouth on you again.

He slowly hooks one of your legs on his shoulder while firmly pinning the other against the couch. Starting just above your knee, he plants sensual kisses along the inside of your leg. Desperate to finally feel him where you need him the most, you let out a moan. He smiles against the inside of your thigh before softly biting it. You feel a brief spark of pain, followed by another kiss to ease it away. Josh then places his mouth where you needed it the most, and slowly begins to move his tongue. The relief is instant and you let out the breath you had been holding for a while now. You instinctively grab his head to pull him closer, but immediately realize you’ve made a mistake.

Josh pulls away while slowly shaking his head. “Seems to me like you need to work on your self control, sweetheart. Same rules apply, you do not get to cum until I say you can… but I want you to sit on my face instead.”

Your jaw drops slightly, but you want him so badly that you don’t try to protest. While he lies back against the couch, you sit up and proceed to situate yourself above him. His hands grab your ass, and you lower yourself onto his mouth. He immediately begins to swirl his tongue, while you start to move back and forth. The sensation of his tongue against you is so intense, a slew of profanities begin to trickle from your mouth. As you begin to ride his face more intensely, his perfectly shaped nose presses against your clit adding to the sensation. This causes you to moan even louder, and you can feel your orgasm build within you. Josh moans against you, and you almost finish from that alone. He notices that you’re losing control and takes a moment to remind you of the rules. “You haven’t been given permission to cum yet, but I might allow it if you beg.”

He pulls you back against his mouth, guiding your hips against him at an unrelenting pace. You begin to beg, desperately seeking release from all the teasing he has done so far. “Please Josh, please let me cum.” You look down to see him glance up at you through his eyelashes, and he begins to nod his head with a devilish gleam in his eyes. Taking this as confirmation, you allow yourself to no longer hold back. Within seconds, your legs begin to shake and you hear and feel him mutter “come for me.” That is all it took for you to completely unravel, letting out desperate and weak moans.

As you come down from your high, you bring yourself off of him and onto the couch. Once Josh is sitting next to you again, you look over at him. “Fuck me,” you plead.

He answers back with a smile, and flips you over so you’re on your hands and knees. Before you can even prepare, he slips into you. After so much teasing and anticipation, you let out a needy and frantic whine. It feels better than you could have ever imagined. He instantly grabs your hips and begins to slowly move in and out of you. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

You can tell he is beginning to become needy because he removes his hands from your hips and grabs two fistfulls of your hair. He begins to drive into you with increasing intensity and speed, and the sensation is so overwhelming that you bite into the pillow in front of you. You begin to rock back into him, and he leans forward and gently bites down on your shoulder, stifling his own quiet moans. You know he is close to the edge when his breathing starts to shudder, so you say, “cum for me.” Hearing this, he begins to drive his hips into you at an even higher speed and intensity, and his perfect rhythm begins to get sloppy. He releases your hair, grabbing onto your hips again and begins to moan out a string of profanities. The feeling of him finishing inside of you sends you over the edge once again, and you both ride out your highs together.

Once you have both gathered yourselves, you help each other get dressed. Josh walks you from the back room to the front lobby and stops in front of the door. He looks at you once more with a smirk on his face. “You were such a good girl for me, but I think we are going to have to schedule another session soon.”

With that he places a soft kiss on your cheek and you turn to leave.

While exiting the building you think to yourself, “I still don’t know what spiritual psychology is, all I know is I really fucking like it.”

[thebreakfastgenie]

For the WIP thing. (Hope you don’t mind if I do this, too!)

Seeing Ghosts, Under Pressure, Sad Whale fic 😁

literally do not mind AT ALL!!!! anyone can do it!!!

Seeing Ghosts

Maybe that was why the olives were getting to him, why this whole party had him on edge, instead of merely bored. Ever since the new chief of thoracic surgery had been announced, Trapper hadn’t been able to stop picturing Hawkeye, running his own department, the way it should have been.  He didn’t want to tell Pete any of that. Pete was a good friend, and a better surgeon, but Trapper kept him at arm’s length, where he kept everyone.

and a little later

“He served in Korea.” Pete said. He lowered his voice. “Actually, I heard he only got this job because one of his army buddies called in a favor with Bob Harwell.”  “Figures,” Trapper muttered. “Who’d you hear it from?” “Tony Maxwell. He said the board was all set to go in a different direction, then Bob gets a call from a Major Houlian.”  Trapper nearly spat out his drink.  “Hot Lips Houlihan?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.  “When I knew her, she went by the name Margaret,” said a new voice.  Trapper and Pete both turned, finding themselves face-to-face with the guest of honor. It was clear from his face that he’d heard everything, but he seemed unbothered. He extended a hand.  “Gentlemen. Charles Emerson Winchester III.” 

This is ironically not the one with the literal ghosts. It's my spin on the "Trapper thought Hawkeye was dead after The Late Captain Pierce" trope. In this fic, Trapper is working in the general surgery department at Boston Mercy. Shortly after the war ends, he's forced to attend a reception welcoming the new chief of thoracic surgery, and he's sort of moping and thinking about his dead best friend Hawkeye, and then he finds out Charles was stationed at the 4077th and they proceed to have two entirely different conversations, because Trapper, thinking Hawkeye died, makes a lot of incorrect assumptions that Charles, not realizing this, does not correct. It ends with Trapper finding out Hawkeye is alive and being like "I have to go to Maine right now immediately." It's kind of on hold because that kind of double dialogue is really hard to write well.

Under Pressure

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked blankly. “There’s... there’s got to be another way of taking blood pressure, right?”  “I’m afraid not,” Dr. Kirby smiled apologetically.  Roberta appeared as if on cue, opening the door with her free hand. Josh glared at the gray-and-black tangle of medical equipment in the other, his eyes picking out the familiar shape of a blood pressure cuff.  “It takes a reading every twenty minutes,” the doctor explained, as the nurse approached him. “It only takes about a minute each time. You can return it tomorrow, and we’ll call you when we get the results.” Roberta began fastening the cuff around his bicep.  “Wait, stop,” Josh interrupted. Roberta paused. “I’m… I’m right-handed.” He flexed his fingers in demonstration.  “Ordinarily, we would put the monitor on your non-dominant arm,” Dr. Kirby apologized, “but with the location of your injuries, we get a more accurate reading on the right.” “I don’t really have much choice about this, do I?” 

and later

“Well, this is interesting.”  Donna stood in the doorway, taking in the scene: Josh, still in his t-shirt, the cuff around his right bicep attached to a black box clipped to his belt.  “Annoying is more like it,” Josh muttered, jumping down from the exam table. “Did you bring the receipt for your cab fare?”  Donna waved the slip of paper at him.  “Everything’s okay, though?” she asked with a hint of concern.  “Everything’s fine, except my cardiologist is a lunatic.”  Donna stepped toward the chair where he’d left his backpack, but Josh got there first. He grabbed the straps in his right hand, but before he could hoist it onto his shoulder, the monitor let out a soft beep, and the cuff began tightening around his arm. Donna had caught up with him, now, and she reached for the bag as soon as he dropped it.  “No way,” he argued. “It’s bad enough I had to call you to pick me up.”  Donna frowned at him, but the device had released his arm, and he lifted the backpack before she could say anything else.  “I have twenty minutes before it happens again,” he told her. “Let’s get out of here.” 

This is my most self-indulgent WIP. It's literally just me putting Josh Lyman through the time in 2018 that I had to wear a 24 hour blood pressure monitor on my dominant goddamn arm and the damn thing didn't work properly and kept trying to redo readings. When I get around to finishing it it's just going to be the humor of Josh trying to get through a day at the White House with a monitor.

Sad Whale fic

He was still married, even if he couldn’t wear his ring. Even if his husband wouldn’t speak his name. His relationship with Spock had been founded on loyalty first and he wouldn’t betray that trust, not now or ever, even if death technically had done them part. 

and later

Unconsciously Jim removed the rings from his breast pocket and turned them over in his hands. McCoy pointed to the rings.  “You still carry those everywhere?” Jim nodded.  “I’m afraid I’ll lose them but I’ve tried leaving them in my quarters and… it’s actually easier if I can just pat my pocket to reassure myself.” Jim stared down at the rings, as if transfixed.  “You know you can’t start wearing it,” McCoy warned. “Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?” Jim asked, his eyes snapping up to meet McCoy’s. “I know he has to remember on his own, but what if seeing me wearing mine was the trigger he needed to remind him?”

This is a little scene set during The One with the Whales. This would eventually build to an ending where Spock starts to remember, looks on Jim's finger for his ring, and then looks disappointed when he doesn't see it. Jim notices this, pulls the ring out, and puts it on. Spock laments that he must have lost his, and then Jim gets that one out too and puts it on Spock's finger. Très romantique. It's part of the spirk verse in my head that's almost exactly the same as canon Star Trek but Jim and Spock got together shortly after Amok Time, broke up when the five year mission ended, got back together during/just after The Motion Picture, and got married not long after that.

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust Pt.8 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N and Josh talk things over about where they stand as Y/N tries to build the courage to confess to Peter. One night on top of the roof, Y/N and Peter reveal any secrets they’ve been keeping from each other. 

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: This is technically the last part of Lovedust but there will be an epilogue. I was going to go a whole different direction and make it too angsty because sometimes, life works out that way but you guys deserve a happy ending ;) This series was only meant to be about three parts long but because of ow supportive and kind you all have been, I just have no words except thank you all so much. I will give a better thank you for the epilogue  but until then, enjoy the chapter. 

Warning: adult language

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || epilogue 

You stared up at your bedroom ceiling quietly, picking at the stitching of your blanket to the point where you had about four inches of loose thread massaged between your thumb and middle finger.

Three minutes. 

Peter was presumed dead for three minutes as you were giving him CPR that was literally a race against the clock. One hundred eighty seconds was the span between life or death and you couldn’t help but think of what if you had stopped after a minute? What about one hundred and seventy-nine seconds?

Three minutes. Your mind was so fucked that the only thing you could compare the time to was that Peter was dead longer than the time it took to pop a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

You thought back to the time where you had gone to California with Tony where you were alone in the hotel room while he had a conference. You remembered how scared you felt when the ground started to shake underneath you as the earth rolled underneath.

That earthquake must’ve only lasted fifteen seconds tops and yet, you felt like it was an eternity of shielding yourself underneath one of the desks that would’ve surely broken if the roof caved in overhead.

It’s odd how times works, whenever you’re in a dangerous situation, your body literally slows downtime so you can have the best chance at survival. So while those three minutes didn’t seem like a long time, the lingering fear of losing Peter after everything sent your body through emotional distress like no other.

It felt like a cruel joke; you had only come to realize you were in love with him when he was dying in front of you. What was even crueler was that even though everything seemed less complicated now that you really understood how you felt about him, it was only the tip of the iceberg.

It had been a few days since you had seen Peter since the night of the party and you felt like you were slowly losing your sanity. Your dad tried convincing you that Peter needed to be monitored for a while but maybe he just wanted you two to stay away from each other since you practically almost killed him by kissing Josh.

You loved Peter and he “loved” you yet once he was cured, he wouldn’t share the same feelings for you. What would happen once he was cured? How different would things be between you, especially since you would be having feelings for someone who doesn’t love you back? 

Loving someone who surely wasn’t in love with you felt like a whole new level of self-destruction.

Your phone rang from underneath your pillow and temporarily interrupted your thoughts. You reached under the pillow to pull out your phone to find that Josh was calling you. 

You inhaled sharply as you practically leaped out from under your covers, unsure of what to do. 

The last you heard from Josh was the night of the party but just like Peter, you hadn’t seen or spoke to him since. That wasn’t the full truth, Josh had been texting you to make sure you were okay but you didn’t have the strength to even reply to his worried texts. 

Poor Josh. He felt like an innocent bystander who got hit in the crossfire of what was going on between you and Peter.

In past relationships, you were like Josh. Your past boyfriends seem to always treat you as a rebound, a backup in case things went south and as gross as it made you feel, it was like you could sort of understand why your exes felt that way.

You didn’t want to lead Josh on, he was too nice of a guy to deserve that type of treatment. Your thumb hovered over the screen and you answered his call at the last second. He deserved that at the least.

“ Hey sorry, I was um, preoccupied. Is everything okay?” You asked as you started to pace your room.

“ I was going to ask the same for you. You haven’t been answering my texts and I was getting worried.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as a wave of guilt washed over you,” Y-Yeah I’m sorry. I’ve just been going through some stuff. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“ You don’t have to apologize, I get it. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something in person, are you doing anything at the moment? 

You rolled your shoulders back as you let out a deep sigh. In all honesty, you didn’t feel like leaving your room but if you were going to pick Peter over Josh, you also would have to owe him an explanation.

“ Okay, where do you want to meet?”

“ We can meet outside your complex, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“ Oh that’s probably easier anyway, when are you gonna come over?” You asked as you fell backwards onto your bed.

“ Um...I’m already outside.”

Your eyes widened as you scrambled over to your window to squint out towards the entrance. Sure enough, if you squinted really hard, you could make out Josh’s car outside the front gate.

“ Oh fuck! Sorry um, I’m coming out now!” You didn’t bother to let Josh respond as you hung up the phone and practically rushed out of your bedroom.

You practically sprinted across the front lawn all the way to the entrance and once you opened the gate, you leaned your body against the side of Josh’s car to help catch your breath.  

“ You didn’t have to run all the way here, I could’ve waited,” Josh said with a smile as he watched you struggling.

“ I know,” You huffed as you felt yourself calm down,” but it would have been awkward if you just stood there for five minutes and watched me walk the whole way.”

“ Okay, that’s fair,” Josh chuckled as he leaned against the side of his car beside you,” I wanted to talk to you about the night of the party. I just want to make sure you’re okay and I’m sorry if I overstepped by kissing you. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

You felt your heartstrings tug at his words as you looked down at your flip flops. You didn’t know how to explain to him that he wasn’t the one who overstepped but that the kiss was never supposed to happen. 

“ You don’t have to apologize Josh and you didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. It’s just...I know how you feel about me and don’t get me wrong, I’m so flattered that you actually like me because to be honest, you’re way out of my league but um,” You awkwardly rubbed your sweaty hands against your pajama bottoms and let out a shaky breath,” I thought things were fine and that they would go back to normal but um, things kinda just happened and you were there and I thought hey he’s cute, like super cute, and Kim was being so pushy-”

“ I know you have feelings for Peter, it’s okay Y/N,” Josh interrupted as he took a moment before wincing,” I didn’t mean to interrupt you but I had a feeling that’s where you were heading with it. Plus you ramble when you’re nervous and I don’t want you to say something embarrassing. ”

Bless his soul, Josh really would be the death of you.

“ Is it that obvious I like him?” 

“ Painfully obvious yeah. I kinda figured you two had something going on but after you gave him CPR and you two gave each other that look, that’s when it all clicked for me,” Josh said as you felt the tips of your ears get hot.

“ Josh, I am so sorry. I really mean it when I say that you’re the sweetest guy I have ever met and I really do wish you the best,” You answered honestly and you felt even guiltier when Josh only shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You couldn’t believe that even now as you were telling Josh you didn’t share feelings for him that he was still being incredibly sweet towards you. 

“ Same goes for you, I hope he treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I have to be honest and say that I can’t get rid of my feelings for you overnight but hopefully we can be friends somewhere along the line,” Josh offered as you felt your heart snap in two.

As you looked back at Josh, that’s when you could really make out the distinct difference between the two boys. You weren’t sure if what Josh was saying was truthful, he was harder to read than Peter and even though his mouth was saying one thing, you could see that there was some pain behind his brown eyes that told a different story. 

Yet nonetheless, you admired that Josh, despite having the full right to completely guilt you and make you feel like shit because of what happened, still chose to put any malicious intent aside for your own good.  

“ Is it okay if I hug you?” You asked as Josh returned a sweet smile, embracing you in his strong arms. 

Despite the heaviness in Josh’s chest, he felt his heart flutter at the feeling of your body pressed against his. The hug was short but even in those few seconds, Josh felt himself trying to take a mental picture of this moment, something he would replay over and over as he did his best to get over you. 

After Josh had left, you made your way back into your cave and hid out in your room for the rest of the night. You had school first thing in the morning and yet, you found yourself tossing and turning yet again. 

To cure your restless mind, you left your room and headed into the kitchen to make tea. You were never the type to drink tea but you didn’t have the patience to just lay in bed, at least this way you were occupying your mind with something else.

As the water boiled, you kept your eyes on Peter’s bedroom door, your knee bouncing up and down as if you were anticipating him opening it. You wondered how he was feeling, considering he almost died and all.

You just wished you could have the confidence to just go up and talk to him, to admit that it was him all along and that you chose him. 

You poured the tea into a mug and cradled it in your hands carefully as a pair of feet made their way into the kitchen. You turned around, anticipating Peter’s face but instead, you looked up to see your dad.

“ You didn’t hear it from me but Peter is up on the roof waiting for you. Just in case if you were wondering,” Tony said as he nonchalantly dragged his finger across the countertop and peeked his head towards your tea,” aren’t you glad I made you learn CPR? I know it was part of your lifeguard course but I’m glad it came in handy.”

“  Too soon,” You sighed as you watched your dad haphazardly look through the cupboards,” and I wasn’t wondering about Peter. I’m just minding my own business and then I’m heading to bed.”

“ Minding your own business? That’s not the Y/N I know.”

“ Well, what would the Y/N you know do?” You asked as you looked down at the inside of your mug,” am I supposed to just run over to the roof and profess my love for him?” 

Tony furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head,” I never said anything about love kiddo but the Y/N I know loves to talk so yeah, I expect some emotional reunion of the sort. You’ve always been known to be a bit theatrical.”

“ And who do you think I get that from?”

“ The one and only Potts,” Tony chuckled as a small smile crept onto your lips,” I don’t know what to say because I don’t think I can bring myself to give my daughter relationship advice about a guy who lives only a few doors down. If anything, it’s against my best interest but I will make this the one exception where I will intervene simply because if I don’t, no one else will. I think you should talk to Peter. He’s been through a lot and he has some things he needs to talk to you about.”

” Well he’s the one avoiding me so maybe he should come over and say it to my face,” You didn’t know why you turned so aggressive but you took a small sip of your tea to try and ease your nerves,” I know he’s been through a lot but we both have. That night of the party was just...too much for me. ”

“ You really are my daughter, always making it about you. You gotta give the kid a break.”

“ I- Dad it is all about me. That night fucking-not sorry- sucked and I don’t know what else to say. I jumped into a pool with my clothes on and I thought Peter was dead-”

“ But he’s not dead. He’s alive and breathing and waiting for you on the roof like I told you,” Tony interrupted as you exhaled slowly,” you love him, it’s a fathers worst nightmare but even I can see clear as day that you have feelings for him, are you going to tell me I’m wrong?”

You liked to think you knew yourself better than anyone else and for the most part, it was true. Tony was probably the closest to knowing who you really were as a person and yet, everything he was saying still wasn’t enough to make you less paranoid.

“ I wouldn’t say you’re wrong but I’m too scared to say out loud that you’re right,” You said as Tony rolled his eyes,” what? What did I say?”

“ You love to talk and yet, you never say enough. I don’t have the patience to stand here and listen to you beat around the bush,” Tony kneeled down towards one of the cupboards and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the shelf,” you have a problem. Let me know how things go with Peter. Or don’t. I’ll find out anyway.”

You stood there, mouth wide open as you watched Tony playfully bump into your shoulder, what a bastard,” Yeah sure! You’re the one drinking at three am but I’m the problem?”

Tony only gave you a hasty wave before turning the corner to where the elevators were, leaving you alone in the kitchen. He was right, everything he was saying made perfect sense and yet, it annoyed you on how right he was.

You had absolutely no idea how to start a conversation with Peter now that you were sure of your feelings and yet, all you wanted to do was find him and reveal everything to him. You looked between your bedroom door and the elevators. You could either go back to bed or you could talk to Peter and nervously choke on your words like a schoolgirl.

Fuck no.

You walked over to your room with your mug in one hand but before you could open the door, your legs started to move in the direction of the elevators, seemingly with a mind of their own.

Fuck it.

You stepped into the elevator and made your way up the floors until you hit the roof access. You hardly spent any of your time on the roof since you had no reason to ever be up there in the first place but once you opened the door,  you were immediately taken aback.

The greenroof took up almost half of the roof itself, the addition being nothing more than a general garden area to look aesthetically pleasing from the sky. Since most of the energy needed to run the facility was either solar or space related, the greenroof was more of a private garden that didn’t account for energy efficiency.

A mixture of moss and summer grass covered the roof in a thick blanket that never grew beyond the border of the garden and at first glance, the brightly freckled flowers planted along the pathway seemed random but as you walked down the graveled path, you could tell that there was some element of planning that went along with it.

Along the pathway stood different hues of green bonsai trees that stood tall and proud in their wooden boxes. You were so focused on the bonsais that you didn’t notice Peter sitting on one of the benches about a couple of yards away.

Your breath hitched in your throat but your feet continued to crunch along the graveled pathway as you made your way over to him. From Peter’s spot underneath the patio, he could hear you walking towards him but kept his eyes looking straight forward, unable to tear them away from the cityscape in the far distance.

You hesitantly took a seat beside Peter on the wooden bench and tucked your legs back so you could rest the mug on your thigh. The lights that Peter had strung up a few weeks back had lost it’s brightness, leaving behind a faded orange glow in its place but it was just the right amount of light needed to where you could read his expression carefully.

“ How are you feeling?” You asked quietly as you attempted to get a feel for what mindset Peter was in.

“ Good, I feel good,” Peter said back, almost quieter than the volume you started out with,” how are you feeling?”

While both of your minds were racing at the thought of the other person, the thoughts suddenly felt almost too personal, the atmosphere being instantly filled with the conversations you two weren’t having.

Out of the two of you, Peter felt like he had more to share and yet, more to hide. You were still completely clueless on the following; A) Peter was cured B) You cured him because of the kiss and C) He loved you back

It seemed like a dream come true, Peter was still in love with you without the lovedust and you felt the same way towards him and yet, he was still terrified. As everything began to feel more and more real, suddenly the idea of being with you made his chest tighten up.

He never knew if he could ever admit it outloud but he was scared that you liked him back because what if after all this time, after all the trials and tribulation the two of you had gone through, what if you two still didn’t work out?

There was so much history between the two of you and he was worried that all of the heartbreak and pining wouldn’t be worth it in the end. He loved you so much to where he knew that he needed you no matter what. It only hurt him more to think that from your last argument, you couldn’t even bring yourself to admit to him that you loved him. 

Now that you were here in front of him, Peter would make sure you wouldn’t leave without hearing you say it back. 

As Peter tried to carefully put his thoughts in order like he had practiced, you thought back to what your dad had told you and decided that you needed to start somewhere and you had to do that by being honest.

“ I’ve been struggling these last couple of days with what happened at the party. I can’t tell how you guilty I feel for putting you through so much pain and I wish I could take it all back. I feel so guilty because it was my fault you died- did you know that? I know the paramedics talked to you but you were dead for three minutes Peter and honestly, that was one of the worst moments of my life. I mean it’s up there with what happened to my parents,” You paused as you remembered to take a breath,” I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to you.”

Peter felt his mouth dry up and for a moment, it was hard to swallow,” You didn’t kill me, you saved me. I still feel like I might be in shock from it all but I don’t blame you for anything that happened. I’m sorry I even put you through that cause I’m sure it was...a lot. But don’t ever say that you killed me, none of it was your fault.”

“ It was my fault. If it wasn’t for me and Josh-,” You stopped yourself before saying more. You didn’t want to talk about Josh, all you cared about was Peter but now, the thought was evident in Peter’s mind and he couldn’t seem to shake it out of him.

The image of you kissing Josh replayed in Peter’s head over and over again as his heart ached. Josh made things more complicated than they already were.

Peter’s biggest fear was losing you but to lose you to another guy? And yet, it still made Peter feel like he was between a rock and a hard place because Peter had only meant Josh on one occasion and it was enough to give Peter an idea that Josh didn’t have cruel intentions towards you.

Just because you loved Peter didn’t mean that you didn’t have feelings for Josh and that’s what made Peter crazy. You must’ve liked Josh enough to return the kiss right?

“ He’s a good guy, I see why you like him,” Peter finally said as he shifted awkwardly in his seat, not knowing what else to say,” he would make you happy.”

The comment shakes you in an uncomfortable way, was that supposed to make you feel better? Your annoyance was jealousy in disguise, you didn’t want to talk about Josh, you were here to tell Peter how you actually felt about him but because of how Peter was delivering it, it seemed like he was giving you an out.

“ It’s not- I don’t like Josh like that.”

“ You kissed him, I saw the whole thing. Do you just go around kissing people you supposedly don’t like?” Peter couldn’t help himself and let the words slip out so easily.

It was a low blow and the two of you both knew it. 

It took every fiber of your being not to lash out at the accusation because you knew Peter had a right to be upset but you didn’t like what he was insinuating and you didn’t want the conversation to take a bad turn,” You don’t have to worry about Josh anymore. If you want me to be honest, yes, I thought there was something there but things changed. I came to talk to you because my dad said you needed to tell me something important but if you’re going to just sit here and belittle me, I’m not gonna take it. I get it, the lovedust is messing with your emotions but I’m extremely sensitive tonight, more than usual so just come back to me when you’re calm.”

You got up from your seat with a quickness but before you could step off the patio, Peter grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards the corner of the bench.

Peter felt like such an idiot, whenever he got anxious on the fine details, he had a tendency to let the big picture escape him but it was something he knew he needed to work on while he was around you. He wasn’t going to let the conversation die just before it had started, he knew his big mouth tended to escalate conversations with you but he couldn’t let you go, not this time.

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m just frustrated because this feels so one-sided. I never know what you’re thinking because you never tell me anything. You always avoid answering the question but I need more,” Peter practically begged as you felt yourself get a bit aggravated,” I am being calm but I’m desperate at this point. I need to know how you feel about me, don’t try to change the subject, I need to know. Tell me how I make you feel.”

Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth as you pulled your hand away from Peter so you could regain your thoughts without him distracting you. You were suddenly chickening out, you had never felt so nervous in your entire life and you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear but it wasn’t easy taking a step forward when you don't know where your foot will fall.

“ This is hard for me Peter, I’m trying my best and I’m sorry if it isn’t good enough but ever since the lovedust, the dynamic is different and you’ve changed. It’s so much to get used to because of...how I feel towards you,” You said as Peter let out a frustrated breath.

He hated this feeling of going back and forth, he didn’t want to hear any of it. All he wanted was to just shake your shoulders because in his mind, you had no reason to be hesitant on opening up to him,” The lovedust didn’t change just me, it changed you too! I was vulnerable and I opened up to you, I showed you how I felt about you every second of the day but you have given me nothing!”

Nothing.

That word made your blood boil because nothing? Just because it was hard for you to let your emotions out didn’t mean Peter was getting nothing back in return. Since he was infected with the lovedust, you had been doing your best to open yourself more to him and you thought you had been doing a good job.

After all those years of Peter belittling you and tearing you down, of course, you would be a bit hesitant to let down your guard and yet, you did it anyway. It took so much to get to where you were comfortable with Peter to be vulnerable, especially when you broke down from your nightmare of your parents.

To break down and crumble in front of Peter wasn’t an accident, you could only be that vulnerable if you knew that he could help piece you back together.

“ Nothing? I gave you nothing?” You spat as you felt your eyes tear up,” I saved your life! I gave you the breath in my lungs to stop you from dying! I don’t owe you anything, I don’t need to prove shit to you!”

Peter stood up from the bench and while his heart ached from seeing you so upset, he knew that he couldn’t hold back,” Don’t pull that with me Y/N, you know you haven’t been honest with me. We both know that we can’t live without the other so don’t act like you did me a favor by saving me. Why won’t you admit it, even after everything we’ve been through, you’re still scared to just admit that you might love me!”

And just like that, you felt yourself let go.

“Of course I’m scared! I’m fucking terrified Peter! Is that what you want me to say? Do you want me to admit that me almost losing you would’ve broken me? Because you’re right! Yes, I love you!” You cried out as you took in a shaky breath,” I love you so much it hurts me and I didn’t understand how badly I loved you until I almost lost you! All I could think about when I was trying to save you was never hearing your laugh and never feeling your touch and I swear Peter, if you died, I would’ve never forgiven myself. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it but I love you.  But none of it matters, you know why? Because you’re sick in the head, the lovedust is fucking with you and now it’s fucking with me!”

There it was, finally. After all of that time denying it and trying to hide your feelings to save your own sanity, you finally confessed. You had so many chances to confess that yes, it really was him all along. 

When he came into your room and comforted you through your nightmare to the two of you shouting at each other in the rain, you had always loved him. 

Even though Peter knew how you felt about him, this was the first time he heard it with his own ears and it was like hearing the symphony for the first time. Like your own soundtrack that swelled during the climax of the movie that was you and Peter, Peter could listen to you say it over and over again.

He didn’t care that most of your confession involved a string of swear words because, without them, it wouldn’t have been your true self. He knew once he admitted to you that he was cured, there would be no going back.

“ The lovedust is gone Y/N. When you kissed me- or saved me by giving mouth to mouth- the lovedust flushed out of my system completely. Banner did extra tests and he confirmed that I’m okay and back to normal all because of you.”

Your heart dropped to the floor as your eyes raked up Peter, testing to see if he was lying but he didn’t falter. This is what you were afraid of, confessing everything to him only to find out that he didn’t love you anymore but who would’ve thought it would be you to make him go back to normal.

And yet, a huge part of you was relieved because finally, the lovedust was gone. You didn’t need to worry about it ever screwing with you and Peter again but as you studied his expression, your chest felt heavy.  

You had seemingly set up your own demise,” Oh, that’s good...I’m happy for you.”

You felt yourself take a step back but Peter reached his hand out to softly hold yours. You pulled your hand away but Peter swatted your stubbornness away and held your hand tighter. He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles and when he looked back up at you, he felt his heart swell.

“ And yet, even though the pain is gone, I feel more love for you now than I have ever felt in my entire life. I understand what they mean when they say love hurts but if anything, it heals even more because you made me feel whole again. When you saved me and the first thing I saw was you looking back at me, it was like I was given a second chance to love you the right way, the way you were meant to be loved.”

“You were right, the lovedust made me fall in love with you but ever since you cured me, it was only a matter of admitting to myself that deep down, I’ve always cared about you. It opened my eyes and showed me that I will never have to look further in finding the one for me because you are everything and more,” Peter said as you moved your eyes from the floor to his figure,” I love you. I mean it. No exceptions, no strings attached, no lovedust required.”

Right then and there, you were at a loss for everything you could possibly hold; no words, no breath, no thoughts. Any resentment you held had shattered into microscopic pieces that would dissolve once crushed between something as delicate as your fingertips because he said everything you wanted to hear.

“ You love me?” You said quietly to where Peter made you repeat yourself,” Are you serious? Do you really mean it?”

Peter nodded and softly let out an ‘ of course I do’ as he brushed his fingers lightly over your cheek. He cupped your face gently with one hand as his thumb wiped away a stray tear,” Can I finally kiss you?”  

Peter’s cheeks grew red as you nodded and leaned into his touch, innocently brushing your lips against his. Peter dipped his head down to close the space between the two of you and kissed you so softly, you had to pull him closer to you to actually kiss him back.

Even though Peter was the one who asked, he felt completely unprepared kissing you back. He had imagined over and over how warm your lips would be against his but now that he was actually kissing you, he didn’t think he had enough self-control to ever stop kissing you.

You never knew a kiss could be innocent and yet so intimate but as his lips moved in perfect sync, any other logistics of the feeling went away because all you could think about was Peter. You practically melted into his touch but before you could savor the kiss, Peter pulled away breathless.

“ S-Sorry, I forgot to breathe,” Peter gushed as you smiled back up at him,” what does this mean for us now?”

You traced your finger along Peter’s wrist as you thought quietly,” I don’t know but we can figure it out together.”

Peter hummed happily before dipping his head down to kiss you and when he pulled away, he fell himself falling in love with you all over again.

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