#i hope you stay safe and warm and know that ur loved!

[empoleon]

holiday clodsire. if u even care

[uriwoos2]

but I like you ! ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ (bnd)

₊˚୨୧𓂃 boynextdoor crush headcanons! genre: fluff. word count: 3k. warnings: none. requested: yes! ♡ note: I've been super burnt out lately so not sure how this turned out.. I tried to proofread but there might be mistakes that slipped so sorry abt that! pls let me know your thoughts, hope you like it! likes & reblogs are v much appreciated! — with love, cream <3 . . . @onedoornet

sungho

𓏵 idk why, but I think sungho is the type to fall for someone after the other person shows interest in him. don't ask me ok.. I just get this vibe. he strikes me as someone who doesn't get crushes a lot and usually wouldn't bother with things like this. but if you show him you really care for him and that you're serious abt your feelings for him, it won't take long for him to warm up to u. his heart would flutter at your tiniest actions, at the minimal touches and subtlest of sentences.. if you full on flirt with him, be prepared to have him in a puddle at ur feet. he's just so shy when it comes to stuff like this (,,> <,,)♡ so, in conclusion: make him blush and his heart is yours <3 hehe

𓏵 I think this tendency of his would most likely stem from the fact that he doesn't want to date casually, especially if there's no long-term commitment involved. he doesn't wanna waste his time on someone, if he knows they don't take this relationship as seriously as he does! if they don't love him to their heart's content, just like he would. he wants his partner to be sure about him and he wants a relationship with equal love, effort and loyalty from both sides. basically, he wants forever, or nothing. what a dream he is.. gosh ꒰ ᐢ ◞‸◟ᐢ꒱

𓏵 if you do manage to somehow strike his interest and make his heart flutter, he won't have much of a choice but to catch feelings for you hehe. he's so adorable actually, bcuz just imagine how cute sungho would be in love.. I'm actually melting at the thought pls. he'll go home that day all dazed and floaty and he'll stay up all night thinking abt you. (with a silly lovesick smile on his pretty face ʕ´-ﻌก̀ʔ) I'm devastated at the mere thought u guys :’(

𓏵 if you're close friends, he'll take care of you so so diligently, but silently. like if you fall asleep during movie night he'll cover you with a blanket and turn down the volume, so you can rest in peace. he'll never let you walk on the outside of the sidewalk, and will always always remind you to eat well! <3

𓏵 imagine having sleepovers w sungho :( you guys would make a little late night snack together, laughing among yourselves the whole time. then you'll cozy up on the couch to watch a film (that only you wanna watch, but he'll agree bcuz he wants to make you happy <3) you would probably pause the movie at times to discuss the scenes. but instead of becoming frustrated, he'll listen to all your yapping </3 eventually you'd both drift off, and you'll somehow end up waking up wrapped in his arms the next morning.. ૮ / / / ⍝ა ♡ (I need to experience a friends 2 lovers with sungho rn!!! (╥﹏╥)..)

riwoo

𓏵 I feel like riwoo is the type of person who requires deep emotional connection, before there is any possibility of developing a romantic attraction toward someone. this would mean that he doesn't get crushes as often, but when he does have one, it's super intense, and so important to him! like he is probably already in love with you before you can even clock his crush on u lol. I think he's just someone who loves in secret, in the safe premises of his own mind, where anything is possible and nothing could go wrong. he constantly daydreams about the idea of being with you and thinks up uncountable scenarios.. in them he can hold your hand or kiss your cheek, while in reality he settles for gazing at you from afar with utter longing.. ( ˊᵕˋ ♡) he's a real hopeless romantic </3

𓏵 he will probably be the type to become friends with someone before catching feelings for them! on the one hand, for him this would mean knowing you so so well, that he's very comfortable with you, trusts you with all his secrets and fears, and thinks of you as one of, if not the most precious person in his life. <3

𓏵 but on the other hand.. this type of connection also creates ground for casual intimacy that only the best of friends share among each other. meaning you're just so so close to him sometimes that he could count each eyelash and freckle/beauty mark of yours ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ his breathing would come to a halt each time, as if he's afraid you'd notice the drumming beat of his nervous heart, or that if he let even a puff of air escape his mouth, this moment would break and shatter into tiny pieces..

𓏵 in all honesty, he himself is confused by these conflicting feelings, wanting to have you close (maybe even closer than this ><) but being unable to calm his heartbeat. you could imagine he'd be a blushing mess regardless of what happens hehe, his heart flutters even when you call his name or simply acknowledge his presence. he just adores you, okay? <3

𓏵 sweet boy would stay up with you when you have to revise for an exam, and bring you hot cocoa to drink as you study <3 he'll be so extra quiet. when your eyelids start drooping and he notices your head getting heavy, he'll slip his hand under it so it doesn't hit the table. at first he thinks of waking you, but he'll just lay his head next to yours as he admires your peaceful, sleeping face. staring at u with stars in his eyes (っ ॑꒳ ॑c) ₊⊹

𓏵 bonus: he'll love to communicate w you in lil written notes! <3 he'd leave you a snack, or a book you wanted to borrow or sth, with a tiny sticky note attached to it, that says “enjoy” or “I hope you like it!!” he'll always add smiley faces too :( cutie. x

jaehyun

𓏵 I think jaehyun would become an inseparable part of your life so so quickly and smoothly, you wouldn't even notice that you guys are best friends. hehe (⑉> ᴗ <⑉)ゞ it's so fascinating how seamlessly he slots himself to fit every aspect of your life.. almost entirely naturally integrating within your friend group, your classes and even your free time!

𓏵 he's someone who'd, I feel like, take each and every slight chance to chime into the conversation just to say something useless, as long as it means he can talk to you. ( ´. .̫ .`) </3 if he sees you on the street, he'll always try to catch your attention somehow, and if you let him, he's more than happy to treat you to a snack! and in classes that you both share, he'll be rushing over to secure the seat beside yours, smiling at you with sparkly eyes when he reaches the desk (﹡ˆ﹀ˆ﹡)♡ so basically he's like a puppy that won't leave you alone, because of how much he loves you :(

𓏵 he is so overly energetic and enthusiastic when he's with you! (well just in general too, but especially w u ><) he's going to pester the heck out of you, to hang out w him, bcuz he wants to spend all his time w you :( lovely boy <3

𓏵 prepare to laugh to your heart's content when you're with him! cuz he'd always end up making an absolute fool of himself when trying to cheer u up, but it's just the cutest thing :(

𓏵 it's his favorite thing whenever he gets to be with you, no matter what you're doing.. as long as you're spending some time together, he's fine with whatever. he'd settle for simply admiring you as you do your work, finding you so lovely and cute in any and every situation :(

𓏵 he's soo the type to impulsively blurt out how cute he thinks you are, but he doesn't really care if you know that he thinks ur cute. he'll only get shy if it's you complimenting him.. and if he gets shy, he'll be so shy, like. he'll start furiously blushing and hiding his reddened cheeks ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ gosh he's so so adorable :( </3

𓏵 he'll tell you to find him whenever you struggle with your work, that he'll be more than happy to help out!! and he will always always keep his word and show up for you. he'll be available any time you need him, and he'll make time for you even if he's swamped with work himself.. ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა ♡ he's more than willing to do this much, (and more) not bcuz he wants you to like him (well maybe just a little bit) but because it just comes naturally to him, to care for you and to be there for you, no matter what it is you're dealing with.. he's always so so happy to help! <3 (I'm gonna go cry now if you'll excuse me) T_T

taesan

𓏵 this baby.. I'd actually name him as the shyest one among everyone. he strikes me as someone who'd love just so gently, putting meaning into the most subtle actions/words and only hoping you'd catch on.. what a darling boy.. <3 I can picture just how his beautiful eyes would shift to you the second you appear in his view.. never once leaving your face ૮ / / / / ა shyly looking over at you from a distance, admiring you with the tiniest of smiles on his lips. or even when he hears your name being called, he immediately perks up, searching for you in the crowd <3

𓏵 he'd be so head over heels for you, gosh.. to him you're simply perfect. in his eyes no one compares to you, and he likes and admires everything about you.. if taesan loves you, he'll love you with all your strengths and flaws. and once you enter his heart, he won't let u go ｡ ˚. ૮Ꮚ ´͈ ⁄⁄`͈꒱ა you'll be in his thoughts 24/7, he'd hand over his heart to you if you only asked.. he's simply so so deeply in love that everything and everyone becomes a blur when he sees you. you're his biggest weakness and his most treasured person <3

𓏵 he's that quiet, mysterious but interesting boy that never talks to anyone unless it's necessary. it'd seem impossible for him to even strike up a conversation with u as there's no adequate situation. he'll be sad, maybe even a bit envious of people who can just go up to you like it's nothing, and to call out your name like it's just a word, and not his most favorite one.

𓏵 you two would probably only get to talk in the most unlikely situation, like maybe you'll bump into each other by chance somewhere. hmm.. a record store?.. ooh! or maybe an art supplies store! (cuz you know how he's super into customizing his clothes with paint!) in any case, it'll be a bit awkward, sure, but I feel like this encounter would break the ice for your friendship and give him courage to actually start speaking to you. (which he will, as much as he can, if he gets a chance and if he's brave enough <3) I can imagine him replaying the whole encounter over and over in his mind after, smiling at the memory of you complimenting his music taste/clothes.. so giddy at the thought that you, his favorite person, find him cool. how cute, shy little kitty </3

𓏵 he'll be so enthusiastic to talk to you abt different shared interests of yours! you'll get to see different sides of him as you guys get closer. the initially shy, quiet boy will turn into the most adorable, excitable kitty when he's with you <3

𓏵 I can definitely see him being a little clingy too hehe (◠ﾵ ◠υ) he'll want to tag along with you wherever you go, and will send you random videos/memes he comes across that he knows you'll like :( when you spend time w other friends of yours, he always finds himself subconsciously wishing that he's your favorite one.. he just wants all your love :( guys he's so precious I'll cry.

leehan

𓏵 I wholeheartedly believe leehan will be the most adorable while crushing akdhskslksdjd I have solid reasoning behind this btw! just looking at how closely he holds all and everything he likes/loves, I can tell he's someone who loves so effortlessly! idk how to describe it, but his love just comes so naturally.. he fully indulges in the thing/person. ig you could say he's very thorough with how he loves. like idk (this might be a bad example lol but) if we consider his love for his fishies, or the way he cares abt his members.. I just firmly believe he'll carry you in his heart always and gaze at you with a permanent sparkle in his eyes, if he likes you even just a bit.. he's so lovely :(

𓏵 for him being in love would be kinda overwhelming, because his thoughts would always revolve around you, making it hard for him to focus and concentrate. but at the same time he finds it so fascinating how everything reminds him of you, when he's doing his work or shopping or taking a walk or even as he begins his day, you're always there w him! it makes him so happy! ⁄(⁄ ⁄>⁄-⁄<⁄ ⁄)⁄ also kinda shy and nervous, but super super excited as well! <3

𓏵 you know, it's great, bcuz now when he wakes up you're right there in his mind along w his fish friends first thing in the morning! (៸៸᳐>⩊<៸៸᳐)~♡ and he can't help but just bask in the feeling. his heart warms and speeds whenever he thinks of you and he likes the fact that you're the one who has this effect on him. he's so in love u guys, omg…

𓏵 imagine ihan all wrapped up in these mushy lovey dovey thoughts abt you as he feeds his fishies, and he accidentally spills too much fish food.. but he's like all giggly abt it when usually he'd be annoyed at himself.（๑ ᷇ 𖥦 ᷆๑)♡ I'm losing my mind. he'd be so adorable gosh

𓏵 idk why, but I think he's the type of friend that would just randomly get you lil snacks sometimes. like he doesn't know how to express his feelings so he'll try and take care of you in his own way <3 if he knows you're studying, especially. you go to find sth in your bag for a second, and when you look back at the table there's a chocolate bar resting next to ur books. (with leehan across the table just smiling to himself, as if he doesn't know what's going on.. silly baby <3)

𓏵 very big on acts of service w this guy.. especially when it comes to making sure you eat well <3 he loves loves a 1000x adores watching you enjoy your food, and always makes sure he brings along some kind of snack when he's meeting you, just in case u get hungry .°ʚ(〃ω〃)ɞ°. gosh I could d*e from how much he hurts my heart.. precious baby <3

woonhak

𓏵 I've got a feeling that he'd be trying so hard to impress you if he has a crush on you.. ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა baby will do anything to get your attention and to make you smile/laugh! ⊹₊˚✩ he'll go as far as doing the silliest things and spurting the most random jokes to get you to look at him. he'll never let the conversation fall silent, or the mood to go sour. he's the energetic, lively friend in the group, who's (unofficially) been assigned the role of the moodmaker! <3

𓏵 when he makes a joke in a group setting, he's usually doing it to make you smile, so the first thing he does after, is looking toward you to see your reaction.. ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶აˎˊ˗ if you're smiling he'll be so happy :( butterflies in his tummy and all <3 what a cutie.

𓏵 on the flip side though, he'll try to leave a good impression on you, he wants to look the best in your eyes! he'll tell you all abt his interests and ask about your interests as well, so he can have something to talk abt with you! he'll probably exaggerate on his part a bit, but it's all because he wants you to think he's cool :( <3 if there's something that you share in common, he'll use it as an excuse to talk to you more often. hehe.

𓏵 he might just ask for your number and when you ask why does he need it, he'll explain it's so that you guys can talk about this interest of yours over text.. he's trying so so hard not to let his excitement show when you agree. (but oh my gosh you actually agreed!!!! ໒꒰ฅ́ ˘ ฅ̀꒱১ᦂ) he's probably totally the happiest he's ever been, with your number in his phone now, having the ability to text you whenever he wants.. (ृ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ृ ) he can't believe you actually gave it to him :( what a baby. (dw tho, he won't abuse this fact too much, he'll only text you when he really wants to talk to you, but he'll also make sure to give you plenty of space! <3)

𓏵 I think woonie would be so annoying when it comes to compliments lol. when you become close friends especially, he gives little compliments any chance he gets. he will always mean them too! (﹡ˆ﹀ˆ﹡)♡ (no matter how random they are) like when he tells you that you're the strongest person he's ever met while playing some game together, or when he takes notice of your new shoes, saying how much they suit you, and when he sees your incredibly inaccurate doodle of some character, telling you how cute it is.. he means it all! ⸜( ˶'ᵕ'˶)⸝♡ secretly finding everything about you adorable. he'll compliment you endlessly, bcuz he just wants you to know how awesome you are and how much he likes/admires you! cutest cutest boy <3 <3

[moonchild033]

5H-Pregnancy and Children (Part 2) 🤩🩷

NOTE: I'm covering the left out planets in this subtopic on the previous post. I accidentally focused a lot on how ur child can be rather than ur relationship with ur child (I focused on this perspective on part 1 planets). However I believe that you yourself can obtain an idea of how the relationship might be based on reading this. Kindly NOTE that this is not ur child's birth chart to interpret their personality truly, these are just some general takes❤️✨ Also this can apply mostly to the first child 🙂‍↕️🫡

(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement, take whatever that resonates and leave the rest,hope you enjoy giving it a read, take it lightly!) ❤

Click here for part 1 !🫴🥰

5H JUPITER - You can have a lesser number of children, possibly female ones, they can seem to be wiser than their age, they could be the type to give you advice when you are down or simply try to make you laugh.🥹🧿 The child would be optimistic and can take expectation failures in a good way, rather than showing negative emotions. It is essential as a parent to let them know that it's okay for them to even voice out their negative feelings and they shouldn't have to overindulge on staying positive to the point that they forget to process negative emotions, teach them that life has grey parts and it's okay🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. They can be helpful to other kids at school and can be a teacher's pet. They can surprise you by asking philosophical questions that don't match with their age and can be interested in religious texts, liking mythology stories as a kid. They can be magnanimous and give out their belongings to friends, so maybe you can see them losing a new pen or a pouch now and then lol 😂🤪. On the same note, teach them not to be a door mat and take care of their things, not letting anyone take advantage. As a child, they can even be more vulnerable in trusting, they believe that everyone is good (every child does, but take care of this specifically in this placement), let them know whom to trust and how to be safe by ur own parenting method🫠🫡. During pregnancy, you can experience more bulging in feet and the baby bump can be bigger, smooth delivery will be ensured if there are no malefic aspects falling on 5H.🩵🩵

5H SATURN - The kid can be fond of grandparents, can be closer to grandparents than the parents, you can see them being distant with their aged kids but can get along with older children and elders absolutely love them. This is the child who brings water to a guest without you asking them to, elders adore them because of their sincere and quiet nature even as a child😌☺️. Help the kid to become more expressive but don't force them to be someone which they're not, accept their personal space and reserved nature. They can be pessimistic and can hold many unspoken fears, encourage and give your support constantly rather than blaming their thinking and forcing them to be optimistic, which will lead them to further mask their thoughts. Through your unwavering support, the child will thrive and can grow to be optimistic by themselves🥺🤌. They can be scared of things that you might not consider as something to be scared of, but they have these deep unknown fears that u have to help them overcome without disregarding it. Their way of speaking might feel offensive to you, you might think of it as disrespect but it's usually their blunt honest nature, don't try to control traits like these just because you couldn't see the other side of it, it can lead to the child being afraid of being themselves or being unsure how to react 🫠❤️During pregnancy, you can feel higher sensitivity to cold, keep yourself warm and do exercises (under medical advice) to ensure normal delivery as this can give higher possibility of c-section. Take care of reproductive health to avoid problems in conceiving. Higher possibility for late pregnancy and first child being a male.💚💚

5H RAHU- The kid can be very mischievous and unpredictable. They can be having swift responses to everything and difficult to understand because of their tendency to merge with the surroundings and change their behaviour accordingly 🤭🫣.They can embody air sign energy a lot (ofc rahu nakshatras are all in air signs tho), which means they want to be constantly mentally stimulated to keep them from doing any unwanted mischievous things that could potentially cross the line. Make sure to provide the mental stimulation through interactive game sessions and answer all their nonsense questions in a convincing and child friendly way bcoz they'll eventually find another source to find out the answer which you may not like 🫢.They can be distracted and messy at many times, u may have to pay extra attention to take care of them. They may enjoy the company of animals, if they do, add a cat into your family which they may particularly like more than other animals 🐈🥰. The kid might get early exposure to the internet or very interested in technologically advanced products, make sure to provide them with parental control and screentime (whatever ur parenting method is). Don't try to control this kid, they're not like mars who is hell bent on doing something they LIKE, rahu does something you don't like just bcoz you told not to do so, they don't even have to LIKE it themselves to do it, ur dislike is enough for them to do something if u appear to be micro managing or controlling too much 😈🤪.These kids have to be handled in an intelligent manner, knowing when to let go and when to tighten the hold, bcoz they're too rebellious for their own good. You can have excessive cravings during pregnancy, take care to not overindulge in anything. Delivery maybe assisted even if it's normal (Depends on aspects 5H receives). Also, taking care of proper menstrual cycles is essential in 5H nodes for healthy conception. Higher possibility of first child being a male.🧡🧡

5H KETU- The kid might exhibit similar characteristics like 5H saturn interpretation but few differences can be seen. While 5H saturn's kids can mingle with older children and find comfort in the care of elders, 5H ketu's kids can thrive in isolation, they're not alone bcoz they're sad, they might enjoy their own company and live in their own mind, quietly being observant and keeping their thoughts within themselves 🩶🩶. Don't rush things with them, forcing them to speak a lot or asking them what they want to do or what they're thinking of, it's possible that many times they might have a blank mind which is unusual for kids but they could have that from a younger age, so when they say they're not thinking of anything, u better believe that. It can feel like an one sided relationship or conversation to you, but don't stop those efforts, they'll eventually let you inside their world 🤗🥰. It's a weird push and pull with this kid, they might crave for your attention from the inside but also feel the need to be left alone, keep the conversation open and avoid getting frustrated bcoz of this confusing behaviour, u just keep on giving them what they want at the moment bcoz these kids can easily feel insecure or abandoned by you even if it's not ur intention 🥹🫂.They could be interested in knowing about the religious practices, you can teach them prayers if they show interest earlier on. Node placements in 5H, their children can show their liking towards animals, for ketu it can be dogs 🐕😍. During pregnancy, you can experience lots of mood swings and appetite issues, make sure to keep both your physical and mental health stable. Higher possibility of first baby being a girl.🩷🩷

Let's Learn and Grow Together ❤️‍🔥

With Love - Yashi ♥️⚡

Masterlist 💖

[beegomess]

hii! absolutely love ur posts 🫶🫶

i was wondering if you'd write a bsfs to lovers, mattheoxreader. Like, they've been childhood friends, and kinda of a 'she fell first, he fell harder' lol. Kinda corny but still vv cutesy and fluffy

totally alr if not!

tysm 💗

M.R. || In how many ways can you love him?

Summary: You and Mattheo grew up together, but falling in love with him didn't seem like a good idea, unless he came to do the same some time later��. Warnings: cute and romantic.

A/N: I really hope you like it. I apologize for the delay, I wanted to do something well done!

Open orders!

He was still a child when their paths crossed for the first time. The boy, with black curls and a somewhat lost look, sat next to him at the huge Slytherin table, right after the Selector Hat ceremony. The table, with its long wooden benches and a soft lighting that seemed to emanate a mystical glow of floating candles, was the stage of new friendships and alliances.

You watched him with curiosity and a warm smile, a friendly gesture that for him was almost a surprise. Raised in a home where feelings were non-existent, his kindness seemed like a strange contrast, but welcome. The last name, which made whispers circulate through the hall and kept the teachers on alert, was something that did not intimidate you. After all, you had always been immune to family pressures and expectations, living your childhood immersed in imagination and carefree games, with no time to understand what surnames were good or bad for you. The only daughter of a traditional family, pure-blood and fervently loyal to obscure figures, you at the time barely knew the true extent of the influence of these individuals.

Mattheo, with few friendship options in his new environment, has found in you a safe haven. Without knowing it, he was about to enter into a relationship that would become a fundamental foundation in his life. His family, despite not being overly affectionate, was a better refuge than the dark environment provided by Bellatrix. Accepting Mattheo was a gesture of generosity that quickly became something essential; he found in his house a new form of belonging, mainly because, due to the implicit rivalry, the family itself would not welcome him with open arms, especially Draco, with whom he had a feeling of competitiveness created by the blonde.

The birthdays and natals in his house became annual milestones for Mattheo, and he became a constant and comforting presence during his pre-adolescence. The proximity between you has grown, and in several moments, he became your closest friend. During the first year at Hogwarts, you explored every corner of the school with enthusiasm and mischief. Mattheo, with bright eyes and a mischievous smile, ventured in search of Pirraça, the poltergeist, and together, you two created confusions that made the uncontrolled spirit want to move away.

In the second year, a visit to Hogsmeade brought a new layer to their friendship. It was there that you met Theodore Nott, a boy who, despite his closed and reserved countenance, found in you a welcoming and genuine friendship. At the same time, your approach with Pansy Parkinson, the girl with whom you shared the room, brought a new balance to your social life. Having a close female friend was a refreshing relief, a company that contrasted with the intense and often overwhelming presence of the boys.

Mattheo, always attentive and available, listened to his complaints and confessions with a patience that bordered on the exceptional. He offered thoughtful advice, and you trusted him completely. However, there were nuances of your feelings that you began to perceive, something subtle and still in formation, as if a veil of change began to be drawn. You initially ignored these changes, preferring to stay in the course of friendships and daily adventures.

Over time, during the end of the second year, murmurs and malicious jokes arose about the proximity between you and Mattheo. Some colleagues began to speculate and make insinuating comments about the nature of your relationship. Despite the provocations, you kept your composure, simply disregarding the gossip and continuing to enjoy the solid friendship you had built. For you, what really mattered was the genuine bond you shared, a firm foundation in a world full of uncertainties and intrigues.

During that year's vacation, you exchanged letters and met a few times. In each of these encounters, his heart seemed to beat faster and differently, as if he was trying to free himself from a subtle enchantment. The way you watched him changed: every detail of your face, every trace of your expression seemed more intense and fascinating. He looked even more handsome when he smiled, and every time that happened, you felt a mixture of admiration and anxiety.

His parents, who always preferred a male child, treated Mattheo almost as if he were a family member. Gifts, school expenses and even money for fun were offered to him with the same generosity as to you. This closeness made your feelings for Mattheo slow to emerge, since you were treated and treated like brothers, which sometimes made you lose hope.

Her best friend, Pansy, soon realized what was happening. At the beginning of the third year, on the night of her return to Hogwarts, she listened carefully as you talked about the holidays and how much Mattheo showed up at your house, something you loved.

- You really like him, don't you? - Pansy asked, with a suggestive tone that made you turn quickly to face her.

- What do you mean by that? - Your shame made you turn to the bed, pretending to fix the covers while your face turned scarlet. - Of course I like him, we grew up together.

Pansy rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile playing on her lips as she prepared to sleep.

- You know that's not what I'm talking about... - You sighed, trying to divert the conversation. - Please, he'll never notice how you feel if you keep treating him just like a friend.

You considered what she said, but soon tried to change the subject to escape the restlessness.

- Pansy, let's stop this and sleep. - You laughed, trying to disguise, but as soon as your head rested on the pillow, your mind wandered to that afternoon when other girls threw themselves on Mattheo. He seemed to have changed so much since the previous year, and you only noticed now.

[...]

In the following weeks, you experienced some silly things, like wearing a perfume that he complimented some time ago, or sitting with him in class, enjoying every joke he told you in whispers. You even rested your head on your shoulder during the late afternoon, while watching the Black Lake with its waves swinging to the taste of the light wind.

Every week that passed, you seemed even more attracted to him, but also more and more upset. The girls cared little about his presence when they wanted to flirt with him, and he always corresponded, every time, without exception. Weeks turned into months and, when you realized, you had already been going through this anguish for a year.

You had made your feelings so evident that even Theodore noticed. In a Snape class, after seeing you turn to his and Mattheo's table and smile at Riddle, Theodore leaned over to his friend to whisper something inaudible to the others.

- I think she likes you. - Mattheo frowned, with a confused expression.

- Who are you talking about? - Theo didn't answer with words, he just directed his eyes to you. Riddle followed his friend's gaze and became even more confused, but forced a laugh. - Oh, please, Theo...

- You're pathetic for pretending you don't see. - Theodore commented and laughed, going back to what he was doing, while Mattheo nodded negatively, completely disagreeing with Nott.

On the other hand, Pansy asked you to forget him, seeing how sad you looked every time he canceled appointments with you to go out with other girls. When it wasn't for that, it was when he came to tell you about how the girls were with him. His heart shattered with every word. Pansy began to practically hate him for having the power to do you good and evil at the same time.

- Maybe you should take some time for yourself... We can go out and go shopping or sleepovers with the other girls. - She suggested, stroking her hair while you hugged her after telling her what had happened this time. - You need to get away from him, Y/N. Mattheo may have been your first love, but it certainly won't be the last.

You understood all this, but it was very difficult to put it into practice. It was like tearing out a part of your life by force. The way he didn't seem to have noticed your absence in the following days only encouraged you to continue.

You did everything Pansy suggested: you went out with her, made new friends, and even other boys started to be more interested in you. Mattheo ended up looking for you after some time and you even gently accepted him, but it was as if you were just friends now. You began to understand that he would never really see you in any other way than that, and maybe this was already starting to be acceptable to you.

The relationship with him seemed lighter after this break. You went out a few times to Hogsmeade, and you made him laugh easily under the watchful eye of Theodore, who usually accompanied you. He, as Mattheo's closest friend now, was starting to like how you interacted. Before, he felt a certain guilt and even pity for seeing you sad, but now it was as if you didn't care about the girls' looks anymore.

At the same time, you began to notice the presence of a certain boy, who smiled at you when he met you in the corridors or during classes. Riddle began to miss the times when you turned your face to smile at him every morning in early classes. Instead, he saw you answering small notes that other boys sent you in class. In a job passed by McGonagall, Mattheo practically ran to you to make sure they would do the job together.

The roles seemed to have reversed, and Theodore had fun with the irony of fate. Mattheo hated it when the boys flirted with you, even when he was together, or when they pretended to have problems in some subject just to spend hours with you in the library. And even more so when they insisted on accompanying her to her dormitory after the parties in the communal room. The latter was a huge torture for him, since he knew that this was one of the ways the boys used to finally kiss someone.

The morning after that party, you sat next to Mattheo during breakfast, as you always did. Yes, he tortured himself all night thinking about how long that boy who found you in the dark corridors took to return to the common room, but he tried to ward off this thought, focusing on the fact that on that day, you would go out together and everything would go back to normal. However, his happiness lasted a few minutes.

- So, where are we going first today? - Mattheo asked with a smile on his face, leaning towards you. His face, however, formed a strange expression, something like regret. - What was it?

- Matt, I'm sorry. I completely forgot that we scheduled to go out today... - He was still confused, he just smiled in response, as if the answer was obvious.

- All right, Theo and I can wait for you. - Theodore, on the other hand, had already understood what was happening and just muffled a low laugh.

- No, Mattheo, I'm ready... - His face looked even more confused as he stared at you, who had a slight smile on his face. - It's just that Adrian invited me yesterday and I accepted. But it's okay for you, isn't it? After all, we can go another day if you want.

- Adrian? - He asked still incredulous. - Adrian Pucey? You don't even know him. - Mattheo disdained and Theodore paid even more attention, looking forward to what was to come.

- Mattheo, I don't think you've been listening to me lately. - You smiled, but your irritation was visible to those who knew you. - I've been going out with him for a while, just yesterday we were at the party.

- Yes, but I thought it was just one more of those boys who keep chasing you... - He started, but you interrupted him.

- Don't play dumb, Matt. Even Theo knew... - You waved to Theodore, who confirmed with a gesture, making Mattheo even more angry. A brief silence followed, but you didn't let it last long. - Very well, see you later. - You got up from the table when you saw the other Slytherin waiting for you at the exit of the Great Hall.

Mattheo watched you walk away with a smile that he believed was exclusive to his presence. In the vision distorted by jealousy, it seemed that you only needed to jump when Pucey gave you a light kiss on the cheek, which made a knot form in his stomach. Meanwhile, Theodore just watched the way he clenched his jaw in frustration.

After that morning, Theodore had to endure Mattheo's bad mood for the rest of the week, a constant weight that hovered over him. Meanwhile, you, irritated by the way Mattheo seemed upset with you, avoided your presence for several days. Silence and distance have become your way of dealing with the growing tension between you.

During this period, Mattheo kept a calculated distance, but couldn't help but watch you when he wasn't looking. He spent hours huddled in a corner, his eyes fixed on you during classes, with a tumultuous mind. Every laugh you shared with Pucey was a blow of pain for him. He felt that something was deeply out of place, a cruel disorder in the balance of his world. But the worst was still to come that night.

It was another one of those typical parties in the common room, an event full of laughter and muffled music. Theodore watched Mattheo with a close eye, watching him fix his eyes on you as you approached the sofa where he and Nott were sitting. You were stunning that night, the light of the torches enhancing the brightness of your smile as you settled next to them.

Since Mattheo's feelings began to manifest, he had unconsciously stopped noticing other girls. This change happened so naturally that he didn't even notice. It was as if, suddenly, the world around you had become a colorless blur compared to the brightness you radiated. The empty space next to him at the party seemed to be the materialization of an unverbalized desire, a silent invitation that he did not know how to accept.

Mattheo was completely consumed by a love that dragged him into an abyss of anguish and unrequited desire. Every furtive look of yours towards you was a silent torture, a constant reminder of the intense and unattainable desire you felt. His thoughts revolved incessantly around you, and the simple fact of seeing you interact with another boy with a deep void forming in his chest, an acute pain that seemed to corrode his soul. At parties and meetings, Mattheo felt like a powerless spectator, trapped in a passion that left him distressed and desolate.

Mattheo, however, remembered the reality, seeing you smile gently at him and Theo while you talked quietly with your friend.

- What happened? Doesn't your dear Adrian accompany you in these places? - Riddle's tone was cruel, clearly demonstrating his pain. - I thought they were together here too, since they practically live together now...

You noticed the cold tone, the smile on your face falls and a confused expression takes over.

- What's wrong with you? Why are you so upset? - Your tone was not accusatory, you were really inclined to understand why he moved so far away.

On the other hand, Theo just carefully observed each interaction.

- I'm not upset. - Riddle practically murmured while quickly drinking the last sip of the drink in his glass, getting up soon after.

You and Theo looked at each other, looking for answers in each other, but both just found doubts.

When you went out to look for him, you couldn't find Mattheo anywhere at the party. I was about to give up when an idea came to your mind: the astronomy tower. Taking a deep breath, he climbed the winding stairs, feeling his heart tighten with each step. Upon reaching the top, the night breeze cut his skin, bringing with it the cold air characteristic of the altitude. The wind was strong, hissing in your ears while the stars shone in the dark sky, as far away as the boy you were looking for seemed to be.

Mattheo was there, leaning against the iron railing, with a lit cigarette between his fingers. He didn't seem to notice his arrival, fixing his gaze on the horizon. The smoke mixed with the cold air, creating a soft fog around it.

- The party doesn't seem like your kind of fun today - you commented, trying to break the silence lightly as you approached.

He released the smoke slowly, without looking at you.

- Maybe it's not. Maybe I don't have patience for the same old things anymore.

You crossed your arms, both because of the cold and because of the tension that was beginning to arise.

- What's going on?

He didn't answer immediately, taking another drag on the cigarette. You waited, but Mattheo's indifference began to annoy you.

- Mattheo, say something. - he insisted, his tone getting firmer.

He put out the cigarette against the cold iron, finally turning his face to face you. His eyes were gloomy, loaded with a weight that you couldn't decipher.

- What I don't understand is why you keep getting closer to Adrian... - The words came out with an unexpected acidity. You blinked, surprise.

- Adrian? What does it have to do with him? We're leaving, yes, but you don't have the right to question me about it. - He took a step forward, his expression hardening.

- I see you together all the time. I don't know how you don't realize how ridiculous this looks.

His heart began to beat harder, but now out of anger.

- Ridiculous? Mattheo, you went out with several girls while I was... while I was here, waiting for you to notice! - The words came out in an outburst that you didn't even know you were keeping. - And you never cared what I thought. How can you want to charge me something like that now?

He looked at you, his face tense for a moment before softening.

- It wasn't the same thing, and you know it. - You laughed, incredulous.

- Wasn't it the same thing? Of course it was. You're just not used to seeing things turning against you. - Mattheo looked down for a moment, as if he was fighting against his own emotions.

- I... I was trying not to get attached. I thought it was better that way, so as not to hurt you. But then Pucey came, and I realized it wasn't working. - He sighed, his voice getting lower. - I don't know how to deal with it. With... us.

His words hit you almost unreally. It was all you had wanted to hear for so long, but now, it seemed so distant, as if he was revealing something too late. The silence that fell between you was heavy, full of unsaid things.

- And what do you want me to do, Mattheo? That I end everything with Adrian just because you finally decided to realize it? - His voice had no more anger, just a sadness that even you didn't expect to feel.

He looked at you, the vulnerable expression, something that was rarely seen in him.

- I don't know. All I know is that... that I care about you. More than I should.

The anger you felt was softening, but that didn't mean that things were resolved. The words you dreamed so much of hearing were finally there, but the time, the context, everything seemed wrong.

- That doesn't make sense now, Mattheo - you murmured, taking a step back, feeling the icy wind chill your skin. - I waited so long for this, and now... I don't know what to think.

He took a step towards her, his eyes intense.

- I'm not asking you to decide now. I just want you to know.

The silence between you two was loaded, the night wind cold and insistent, but the cold you felt seemed to come from within, not only from the wind that cut the air. Mattheo was there, so close, and even with all the barriers he had put up, you felt that something had finally broken. He looked at you in a way he had never had before - there was no longer the distant mystery, but a raw intensity that revealed everything he had been hiding.

You felt a tightness in your chest, your mind spinning in a spiral of doubts and conflicting feelings. But before he could formulate any answer, Mattheo took another step towards him, closing the distance between you. His breathing was heavy, his breath mixed with the smell of cigarettes, and when his eyes met, the world seemed to stop for a moment.

- I tried to get away - he murmured, his voice hoarse, but with a sincerity that you had never heard before. - I swear I tried. But I can't, I can't see you with him, or with anyone else. I can't stand it.

Your heart shot, the weight of his words falling on you like a wave. Reason screamed to keep your distance, not to give in so easily, but every part of you longed for that. He was a mystery that held you, that pulled you into a deep abyss, but at the same time, he was the only one who made your heart beat like that.

- And what do you expect me to do, Mattheo? - your voice came out softer than you intended, the cold around you contrasting with the heat that grew in your chest.

He raised his hand, hesitating for a moment before gently touching his face, his thumb sliding down his cheek with a delicacy that seemed impossible coming from him. Your touch was hot, and the simple gesture made you close your eyes for a second, absorbing the moment.

- I want you to choose me - he whispered, his voice low and full of emotion. - Choose me, not him. Not anymore. Not after everything I... that we...

Before he finished the sentence, you interrupted him, feeling that the words were no longer enough. His lips met his in a sudden, impulsive movement, as if all the accumulated desire had exploded at once. Mattheo reacted immediately, pulling you closer, and the kiss that started soft quickly intensified, full of passion and all the tension you had repressed for so long.

The icy breeze around became insignificant, as if the heat between you was the only real element at that moment. His hands intertaced in your hair, and his arms wrapped you tightly, as if he wanted to make sure you didn't escape anymore. Every second seemed like an eternity, and at the same time, it wasn't enough.

When you finally moved away, his eyes were fixed on yours, his face still close enough for your breaths to mix.

- I've always wanted this - he admitted, his voice soft, almost vulnerable, while a smile appeared. - But I was too inattentive to realize how much I needed you. I won't make the same mistake again.

You stared at him, still trying to process what had just happened. With your heart racing, you smiled slightly, taking your hand to his face, tracing the line of your jaw.

He smiled, a rare smile, almost relieved, and nodded slowly, his eyes shining in a mixture of promise and desire.

____________________________

masterlist

xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨

[wheeboo]

big spoon, little spoon | boo seungkwan

SYNOPSIS. in which ask your boyfriend if he wants to be big spoon or little spoon. PAIRING. boo seungkwan x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. kissing (in the dark lmao), one curse word, terms of endearment, just boo being rlly affectionate :< WORD COUNT. 1.2k

requested from anon: congrats on 2k lovely!!! ❤️❤️❤️ for ur event may i please req seungkwan + #6 list one? thank u ahhhhh and congrats again - #6: "I don't think I have ever felt safer than in your arms."

notes: thank u my love !! i hope u enjoy <3 i had too much fun writing this pls 😭😭

join the 2k celebration!

"Okay, so big spoon or little spoon tonight?"

Seungkwan just freezes from where he stood in the bathroom doorway, toothbrush still dangling at his lips with bits of foam at the corners of his mouth. You're literally staring at him like you're waiting for him to answer and that it wasn't actually a rhetorical question.

"Are you asking me𑁋okay, wait." He marches back into the bathroom to hastily spit and rinse out his mouth, before coming back out with determination in his step. "Are you asking me if I want to be big spoon or little spoon?"

There's a playful lift to your lips as you sit down on the edge of his bed, and Seungkwan can very much see that slight mischievous look to your features. He can already feel the heat of the moment shoot up towards his ears, and he prays that the room is dark enough to hide it.

"Yeah, I am. Since, you know, we always sorta switch around every day," You say, nodding with a teasing grin. "And, well... I'm being considerate, as your partner and all. I gotta know all your preferences..."

God, Seungkwan feels like he's sinking into quicksand at his feet. Are you really at his place every day? He hardly ever thought about how often you were here, like how these nightly rituals had practically become routine now. He swears his heart does a little happy flip-flop at the thought.

It all started with movie night dates that bled into you two eating breakfast together, dinner dates that turned into you helping wash dishes at three in the morning, and then that particular comfortable silence that settled completely at this point. Every day, there always seems to be another reason for you to stay a little longer, another excuse to linger until the streetlights cast an orange glow through his curtains.

And Seungkwan knows he won't ever get tired of it𑁋he won't ever get tired of having you around. Not now. Not anytime soon. Not ever.

He runs a hand through his hair, feeling whatever embarrassment he had in his chest start to dissipate and replaced by a rush of warmth.

"Okay, well, as your very considerate and caring boyfriend..." He crosses his arms together. "what do you prefer?"

You purse your lips together, as if deep in thought. You didn't mind being either little or big spoon, but the thought of Seungkwan having his arms around you right now𑁋if you could describe it𑁋felt like being wrapped by a warm cloud, a feeling of pure, weightless security that chases away all possible worries.

But it isn't just about the comfort, although it's certainly a big part of it. It was the feeling of being safe and cherished, completely enveloped in his embrace. It was the feeling of home.

A slow smile graces across your face.

"I'll take little spoon," You answer gleefully, already crawling more onto his bed and tucking yourself under the covers with a little wiggle. Whatever façade Seungkwan had been putting up crumbles completely at the sight. A blush creeps up his neck, barely visible in the dim light, but his smile widens.

He chuckles softly as he joins you on the bed, slipping under the covers beside you. After flicking the lampshade off, he carefully maneuvers himself right beside you until he feels your warmth hit his skin. Then he slowly circles his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to his body, with your back meeting his chest. A low, contented hum leaves his lips as he simply holds you.

You wriggle in slightly, and he adjusts his hold, letting an arm curve over your stomach and the other one under your body to pull you even closer, fingers momentarily brushing against the hem of your shirt. You feel your legs entangle together under the blanket, and you swear the world gets smaller, quieter.

Seungkwan thinks you fit perfectly in his arms; it's like you've always belonged there.

"Comfortable?" he asks, voice muffled against you.

Your chest rises up and down with a soft sigh. "Mhm..."

The moments that pass are purely silence as he continues to hold you. You could probably fall asleep at this second, yet you feel the way Seungkwan's hand drifts lower from your waist, tracing gentle circles on the fabric of your shirt above your stomach. It's light, just barely there, but it sends a shiver down your spine nonetheless.

And then you feel him moving around behind you, breath tickling your skin, before his lips press a brief, tender kiss to the nape of your neck.

Maybe you can sense the small smile to his face right afterwards, too.

"You're so soft," he mutters, but there's a bit of tentativeness to his tone.

Your heart squeezes tightly in your chest. "I𑁋Aren't we supposed to be trying to sleep?"

"Sorry," Seungkwan apologises, but you can still hear the smile in his voice. He presses another gentle kiss to your neck, then draws back, his hold on you tightening ever so slightly. "Just like holding you like this."

The giggle that leaves you is shaky, nervous, as if there's a small, timid butterfly trapped in your ribcage struggling to take flight. He can probably hear the way your heart is pounding like a damn drum right now, but he doesn't comment on it. Thank goodness.

A thought crosses your mind, and it takes you a minute to cave into flipping yourself over to face him. A groan escapes him from the sudden change in position, but he quickly settles. The two of you can't really see each other that well since the room was basically suspended in darkness, but you can clearly feel his presence beside you, all comforting and familiar.

"I like being held by you too," You confess quietly, each syllable laced with your own hesitancy. "I... I don't think I have ever felt safer than in your arms, to be honest."

The sound of Seungkwan's breath hitching echoes throughout the room. Are the walls closing in? He's not hallucinating or imagining any of this, right? He wishes he could pinch himself, but he's busy holding you, and you're the only thought filling his mind right now.

He leans in closer, ever so slowly. He can see the faint outline of your face thanks to the sliver of moonlight cutting through the curtains.

But just as his lips are about to meet yours, you feel a sudden contact at the tip of your nose. You flinch a little, scrunching your nose up for a second, and Seungkwan pulls back immediately with a gasp.

"Oh my go𑁋did I just𑁋" He stammers frantically, cheeks heating up with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, uh..."

"Baby," You call out affirmingly, aimlessly bringing a hand up to cup his face through the darkness. Then you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, or specifically... the corner of his mouth. Close enough, anyway. "There we go."

Seungkwan just blinks, eyelashes batting furiously as he feels you shrink back into his hold. This time, you place your head at the crook of his neck, breathing fanning against his skin and making him shiver in your hold, even though he's supposed to be the big spoon.

"Let's go to sleep," You murmur lowly, and if he wasn't used to how pretty your voice sounds when you're tired by now, he should really get his shit together.

And so, Seungkwan just secures his hold around you, but not before mouthing a set of three words that he knows you can't see in the darkness, but hopes you can feel in his embrace.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @tanya596carat @starshuas @etherealyoungk

[luvzshy]

Hi, how are you? Hope everything is alright 😊

I've been out of work for a few days because I've had no power or signal at home since Friday due to a storm. I took advantage of the fact that I came to work today to check Tumblr.

This power outage gave me an idea (that you don't have to write if you don't feel like it): imagine if Billie is on tour and talks to her girlfriend every night after the show, but one day she can't get in touch, she gets worried and insecure. After a while, her girlfriend calls her and explains that she had no power or signal and that's why she couldn't tell Billie what was happening.

Have a great week!

a/n: hi my love, i am so so soooo sorry i didn’t answer to this before, i have been really busy:( but here u go baby, i hope ur okay, i love u smm!!!💕

Reconnected

Billie sits on the edge of the bed in her hotel room, staring at her phone for what feels like the hundredth time that night. It’s been a long, exhausting show—the kind that leaves her breathless and sore—but usually, the thought of hearing your voice makes it all worth it. She’s tried calling, texting, FaceTiming—anything to reach you. But each time, her attempts end the same way: a ringing tone that eventually goes silent, a voicemail that never changes.

“Hey, it’s me again,” she whispers into the phone, leaving yet another voicemail. “I’m just… I’m worried, okay? Please call me back when you can. I miss you. I love you.”

She hangs up and stares at the screen, hoping that this time it might light up with your name. But minutes turn into hours, and Billie’s mind starts to wander to dark places. What if something happened? What if you’re hurt, scared, alone? Or worse—what if you’re pulling away from her? The thought twists like a knife in her chest, her insecurities bubbling up to the surface.

Her hands tremble as she clutches the phone, biting back the urge to cry. She buries her face in her hands, whispering to herself, “Come on, Y/N… just pick up. Please. I need to know you’re okay.”

Finally, when she feels like she’s on the verge of breaking down completely, her phone buzzes, the screen lighting up with your name. Relief crashes over her, and she nearly fumbles the phone in her haste to answer. “Y/N? Where have you been?” Her voice comes out rushed, thick with all the fear she’s been holding back. “I was so scared—I didn’t know what happened to you.”

On the other end, your voice is warm and apologetic, but it’s the sound she’s been aching to hear. “Baby, I’m so, so sorry. The power went out, and I had no signal. I’ve been trying to reach you, but nothing would go through. I’m so sorry I made you worry.”

Billie’s breath hitches, her fingers gripping the phone tightly as her tears finally spill over. “God, I thought… I thought I lost you or something. I know it’s silly, but I just kept thinking the worst.” She lets out a shaky laugh, trying to collect herself. “I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I should’ve said to you. Like how much I love you, how you’re my whole world… I don’t know what I’d do if—”

You interrupt her with a soft, gentle reassurance. “Hey, hey, baby, I’m not going anywhere. I love you so much. I promise I’ll never leave you like that.”

Billie lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, a relieved smile tugging at her lips as she leans back against the headboard. “Just hearing your voice… it’s like I can finally breathe again. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself, okay? I need you safe.”

“I promise, baby. I’ll be extra careful next time,” you say softly, and she can hear the warmth in your voice, the love that mirrors her own. “Now, let’s just stay on the phone for a while, yeah? I don’t want you to feel alone tonight.”

She nods even though you can’t see her, letting herself relax into the comfort of your voice. “Yeah, let’s just stay like this. I’ve got you, and you’ve got me.”

[bananielle]

love and suds ♡ 🫧

₊˚.⋆⁺₊ leehan x reader ୨ৎ genres: hurt x comfort. fluff.

5.7k words. cw: lowercase intended. not super proofread. reader wears a bra. negative self talk. crying. dark thoughts. kissing. bathing. if there’s anything else, please let me know! <3 @onedoornet

authors note: blew the dust off this cause i think the longer i wait the more i will want to never ever post it and this was really something i wanted to share. i wrote this a couple months ago to comfort myself when i was really struggling. i went back and took out the very dark stuff cause i felt it messed up the plot and other things and anyways! this isn’t my best writing at all but i hope it can bring even a teensy bit of comfort to anyone who might feel the way reader does. i hope it’s good enough. happy reading baby loves ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა p.s if you’re in a dark place i promise brighter days are written in the stars for u & plz remember u don’t need to be spectacular or do amazing things to be worthy of love & ur wonderful just as u are & u will be okay ♡

you wrestle with the lock of your apartment door, jamming and twisting the key around impatiently, huffing at the lack of compromise it’s giving you. all you’ve wanted to do since you left your safe haven was come right back, curl up in bed and sob into your pillow; life being too much for you to carry on your shoulders lately.

everything was difficult and stressful, and your body was barely standing upright. today was your final straw. any more stress, and you’d crumble into pieces. 

on your way home, you had looked up at the soft wash of pink and orange that was the sky, asking the universe for some kind of break. anything to ease the constant pain you felt. 

you hoped and prayed it would take kindly to your wishes, but as you’re standing here now, fighting to get into your warm home, it seems the universe ignored you. so much for asking you for any favours, you think to yourself bitterly. the thinned string of patience inside you threatens to snap as you ram the key into the lock hole for the sixth time, its stubborn self still refusing to give in. 

you take out the key, then put it back in, turn it as far left as it’ll go, and grab the door handle. you push down on it, and with all the strength you can muster, you bump your shoulder against the door, and suddenly, you’re home at last. 

you quickly shut and lock the door behind you, then kick off your shoes and switch on the main light. it’s quiet inside, despite it being the evening, only the low hum of the air conditioner floating through the place. you had thought your boyfriend would be home at this hour, as he usually is, but perhaps he had to stay longer at his schedules tonight. 

the thought weighs down on your shoulders, tears itching to escape and stream down your cheeks. a dark, heavy feeling settles in your chest. all you’ve wanted after such a long day was to see him. to collapse into his arms and feel his sturdy body against yours. and even if you did end up sobbing into your pillow the entire night, at least leehan would be there for you, laying beside you, rubbing your back and soothing you with his sweet voice, telling you that everything would be alright. 

yn: 0, universe: 2 trillion, you think. 

you’re too tired to feel hungry, and too tired to cook, so you decide to skip dinner. you switch off the main light, walking softly through the kitchen to your bedroom. it’s cold and damp inside, a fitting representation of your feelings. you don’t even have the energy to feel bothered by it. instead, you let yourself feel the goosebumps raise on your arms and the unpleasant chill caress your bare skin. 

you weakly climb onto the bed, forgetting to turn the lights on and not bothering to snuggle up under the covers. you lay there on your side, in your cold, dark room, with your knees tucked into your chest. 

for a while, your mind thinks nothing. 

until, you begin to think about all that’s wrong. a familiar feeling awakens in your veins. or maybe it’s your bones. whichever is deeper, more hurtful, it awakens there and gnaws at you.

the thoughts wash through like a tide, cruel and relentless.

you let out a sob and squeeze your eyes shut, willing the thoughts away, screaming at the voice inside of you to leave you alone. your breaths come in short and panicked, and you scramble your mind to find something to tether yourself to, something to ground you and make you feel real again. 

a moment passes, and then, you see his face. 

you see his pretty smile and the even prettier dimples adorning it, a little part of you wishing you could live inside of them; safe and stored away from the hideous world. his soft eyes, all sparkling and starry appear and you try to remember how they look at you so lovingly. you see his hands tangled in yours, warm and safe and sturdy. you remember, as hard as you can, how they felt and you hold that feeling close to your heart, hoping it would soothe its rapid beats. 

leehan. leehan. leehan. you repeat like a prayer. your body relaxes. 

your breaths start to slow and you finally gulp in deeper breaths. but the relief doesn’t last for long, when you realise the pictures of your boyfriend in your mind are just that. pictures. he is not here. 

a frustrated burn settles in the back of your eyes, and you feel wet lines travel down your temples. your body shakes with every cry that escapes you, a puddle of wet forming on the covers. you sob for a while, until your head turns heavy and your eyes can barely stay open. 

please come home, leehan. i need you. 

you wish again to the universe, pleading it to do you a kindness and bring comfort to you, just this once. you hug yourself tightly while hoping for your boyfriend to come home, sniffling every now and then as your cries come to quiet. several minutes pass of you in the dark, cold and heartbroken, a heaviness stuck in the air. 

sleep nearly comes to your aid, but it’s not quick enough. you’re still awake to hear the distant, muffled sound of a key turning, and then clink of the front door unlocking. 

your heart soars in your chest. you sleepily wonder if it’s a dream, staying ever so still as you strain your ears for more sound. 

“yn? are you home, angel?” a weak sob escapes your lips at the comforting sound of leehan’s voice. you don’t know whether to smile or continue crying, so you do a strange combination of both. 

“in here”, you reply. but your voice isn’t loud enough. it’s raspy and weak, the words scraping your throat like glass as you spoke them. 

you wait a few heartbeats longer, hopeful and excited, watching the door, wondering if leehan was coming to find you.

soon enough, just as you wished, leehan finds you.

he shuffles into the pitch-dark room, turning on the light to see better. the moment he spots you, he nearly crumbles. a look of concern contort his features as walks towards your limp body and softly asks, “baby? wha- what’s wrong? are you okay? how long have you been like this?” his words spill out rushed, each one carrying more weight than the last.

he lowers himself onto the bed, adjusting himself so he’s sitting next to you, and reaches out an urgent hand out to brush away pieces of hair that stuck to your tear-stained face. “oh, baby”, he coos, stroking your hair gently. “talk to me” 

you look up at him through glassy eyes, and you break out into more sobs when you see how he gazes at you. so much concern and compassion glimmer in his eyes, it tugs at your heartstrings. his sweet words pick apart every tense nerve in your body. 

you hide your face in your hands as you cry, your breaths coming in so short and quick, they cut off every word you try to speak. 

“shh, baby. i’m here.” leehan comforts, as he leans down to place a kiss to your shoulder as one of his hands massages your back, up and down, soothingly. 

after a few more sobs and shh’s from leehan, you find a moment to take deep breaths and wipe your eyes. your limbs fight against you after being stuck in the same position for so long as you adjust yourself to sit up. you avoid his laser gaze, knowing that if you looked into his eyes, you fear the tears would never end. 

once you’ve sat up, you cross your legs and take in a shaky breath. the hand that leehan dragged up and down your back, now rests on your thigh. his other one finds the small of your back and stays there. 

you breath out deeply before speaking. 

“i’m just so tired, leehan.” your voice cracks and scratches but you don’t care enough to clear your throat. 

“i had such an awful day. i’ve been having awful days. and my head hurts so much. and my heart won’t stop beating like crazy. i feel it every second of the day and it scares me so much. everything is too much for me. i’m lost and confused and just. tired. ”, more tears stream down your cheeks, and you need to take in another deep breath before continuing. your hand finds leehans’ on your thigh and holds it tight for comfort. 

a weighted silence drifts upon the air. slowly, you look up from the random spot on the covers you’ve been trained on and meet leehan’s eyes. 

tears glisten at the edges of them, the look of concern vanished, replaced by utter sadness. his eyes trace every feature of your face, as if to find the answer to his question.

“oh, my love” he says, his voice hushed, nearly falling into a whisper. “why didn’t you tell me sooner? to know that you’ve been carrying this weight on your shoulders all by yourself, it breaks my heart. you know that’s why i’m here right? to help you carry the heavy things” 

“i-i know, leehan” you look down at your intertwined hands. “i don’t know why i didn’t, i’m sorry. i think i just, i didn’t want to burden you. i thought i could figure it out myself. make it go away on my own���, you shrug, not even realising how you’d kept your feelings a secret, subconsciously hiding them under a smile.

leehan suddenly cups your face in his hands, his eyes serious but his tone gentle. “you never have to be on your own. not as long as i’m here”, he sniffles as his eyes water more. your heart splinters at the sight. 

“please listen to me, baby. look at me” he makes sure he’s locked his gaze into yours when he says, “i am always here for you. always. i want to hear what you have to say. everything. don’t ever think you can’t come to me. you don’t have to be alone, i promise.” 

leehan kisses your forehead, so softly and sweetly, it prompts your body to shudder. your entire being is overcome by the love it holds for him. 

thank you, universe. 

“thank you” you say quietly, giving him the biggest smile you can muster. both your hands cover his own, your thumbs rubbing the backs of them lightly. “i love you. i promise to come to you. promise i’ll tell you things.” 

a slow smile spreads across his face, and he plants another kiss to your forehead, this time, lingering on the spot. he pulls away and tucks your hair behind your ears.

“let me take care of you, okay? i’ll run you a bath, get you all cleaned up and relaxed. how does that sound, baby?”, he asks eagerly.

your words seemed to have run away at leehan’s compassion, so all you do is nod your head tiredly, giving him a soft smile. 

leehan enters the bathroom with you in his arms, stopping to turn on the light before setting you down on the fluffy rug in the middle of the floor. it feels plush and warm against your socked feet, a comforting change compared to the cool draft in the bedroom. you press yourself further into it, really making sure you’re standing firmly on the ground, planted and unmoving.

he glides over to the bath, twisting the knob to the right so the dial lands right where it’s nearly too hot, just how you like it. the rush of water fills the room, the strong current of the faucet beating against the plastic tub, and again you feel comforted, no longer trapped in your thoughts when pleasant distractions feed all your senses. your eyes study leehan as he feels the water with his fingers, adjusting the dial a few times before turning back to you.

without saying a word, he scoops you into his embrace once more, bringing you to the sink and sitting you down on the edge of the counter. he kisses your cheek tenderly before opening a mirrored cabinet to sift through and bringing out your entire skincare routine, lining up each bottle in their respective order. a bright, warm glow begins to fill your chest. 

he bends down to open up a cupboard, and remerges with a small towel in his hand, then turns on the sink, checking to see if the water is lukewarm. he wets the towel, rings it, then repeats the action. after a few more soaks and rings, he places himself between your legs, then gently presses the towel to your face. 

“close your eyes for me, pretty” he instructs quietly, his voice low and smooth. 

leehan works in a methodical rhythm until every inch of your skin is made damp. his touches are so gentle and filled with love, you feel light-headed. you wonder in awe at how lucky you got with him. that such loving, gentle boy is all yours. a tiny, secret smile pulls the corners of your mouth.

“does that feel good, baby?” he purrs, taking notice of your not-so-secret smile. 

“mm-hm, more than good” you respond, looking up at him softly. he smiles back at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling in delight. 

leehan moves carefully as he applies your face wash, rubbing circles on your face firmly but gingerly, then taking the same wet towel to rinse it off. he works in silence whilst massaging every one of your serums and moisturisers into your face, as he’s seen you apply them yourself a million times, slowly and thoughtfully in an effort to relax you. the cold sensation of the creams and his sturdy fingers send shivers down your spine. 

“there we go. all done”. leehan strokes his thumbs over your cheeks one last time, then leans in to kiss your lips. it’s short and sweet, his lips soft and warm. 

the sound of the rushing water must have become white noise to you both, because when you turn your attention to the tub, it’s nearly filled to the brim. leehan goes to shut off the faucet, but not before adding in your favourite soap, swirling the steaming water around with his hand, making a clean, bubbly scent waft through the air. it’s familiar to you, a reassuring sense that helps you attach yourself to the present moment.  you’re here and you’re okay, you soothe to yourself. 

he walks back to you, hooking a strong arm around your back and placing the other under your knees, lifting you off the counter and placing you back on the fluffy rug. 

“let’s take these icky clothes off of you. arms up.” he says quietly, his honey voice nearly humming the words. 

you obey, reaching your arms up in the air, letting him put his hands under your shirt and gently lift it up and over your head. he’s seen you in your bra plenty of times before, but somehow, the intimacy of this moment makes you shy away and cover up. 

“hey…” he looks down at you, a slight twinkle in his eye. he gently pulls your arms away from your chest. “it’s just me, baby” 

“i know…” you respond shyly… “i just…” you trail off, looking down at your feet. 

“don’t worry, love. i can leave to let you undress. just let me know when you’re done.” he goes to leave, but you stop him quickly, grabbing his hand.

“no! no, please stay. i’m just a little overwhelmed…with love, i think. that’s all”, you say to the floor quietly. 

all leehan does is gaze at you fondly, the tiniest giggling leaving his mouth. “okay. i’ll be gentle with you, i promise” he reassures as he reaches his hands out to unclasp your bra.

they’re warm and sturdy, like they always are. the way his fingertips brush against your exposed skin so delicately gives you goosebumps. you didn’t know how it was possible to miss him so much, despite seeing him only this morning, and having him in front of you now, but here you are, longing for him so deeply. 

he undoes the clasp, then hooks his fingers through the straps, gently gliding it down your arms. once it’s off, he gathers it nicely and places it in on the sink, along with your shirt.

his hands continue to brush down your arms, the grazing of his finger tips like a ghost against your skin. he never lets go of your gaze as he kisses down your stomach. you gasp lightly at the way his lips travel down your body so lovingly, as if he was made just to worship you. 

he stops just before the button of your pants, then carefully undoes them, easing the piece of clothing down your legs slowly. you lift each foot out of the holes. 

leehan grabs the back of your calf, lifting it slightly to press a soft kiss to your shin, then takes off your sock. he does the same to your other leg, then folds up your jeans and sets them down near your folded shirt and bra. 

his eyes never leave yours as he runs his fingertips along your collarbone, the soft pads finding your shoulders to rest there. “my beautiful baby,” he coos. “let’s get you washed up.” 

leehan rolls up his long sleeve shirt, cuffing it at the elbows, then as tenderly as he can, he scoops you up and walks you over to the tub. his eyes never leave your face as he lowers you into the hot, bubbly water, careful not to hurt you. 

“how’s the temperature? is it warm enough?” 

“it’s perfect, leehan” you say, because it was. everything about this moment was perfect. 

“good”, he smiles softly. “i’ll be right back, okay?” and then he quietly leaves the bathroom. you rest your back against the side of the tub, leaning your head back on the side. the water is so warm, it feels like it reaches your bones. it melts away your worries like butter, until every evil word you had thought to yourself becomes smudged and muddled, a distant memory. 

you play with the bubbles, scooping up a handful, then blowing it into the air, watching as the sparkly, white clouds float every which way. your heart finally begins to slow down, resuming a normal pace. you’re warm and cradled and safe, all thanks to leehan. you could nearly cry again at his loving actions. how incredibly lucky you were to have him. 

your love returns a few minutes later with a rolled up towel, walking into the separate shower to grab your wash cloth and body wash, then kneels near the tub behind you. he lifts up your head slightly, then pushes the towel underneath as a little makeshift pillow.

you study his upside down face carefully. his cheeks are slightly blushed from the heat of the bath, and the front pieces of his hair are curling slightly from it, too. there’s something so sweet in his eyes — you can’t quite explain it. but it makes you glow on the inside. 

leehan. leehan. leehan. my leehan. 

he beams down at you, stroking your head. “do you need to wash your hair tonight?” he asks, searching your eyes.

you simply shake your head no, too relaxed and soothed to speak. he nods, then takes the wash cloth and dips it in the tub.

he squirts your favourite body wash on it, then begins to rub it in your skin soothingly. the pressure of his strong hands, the warmth of the water, and the slight tingle of the texture of the cloth against your skin overwhelms you with relaxation. 

with each gentle rub, your pain washes away, lost to the mountains of bubbles. your mind goes blank, but not unpleasantly. it’s quiet, but not uncomfortable. at peace, in a way.

for a long time, leehan tends to you. his forearms are soaked, covered in tiny white bubbles, some even reaching up his cuffed sleeve. he holds every part of you so tenderly, as if you were the most precious being he’ll ever know. he’s careful to wash off any excess icky-ness of the day, humming lowly as he does. 

his fingers begin to prune, as do yours, and the bubbles begin to subside. he cups his hands in the water and uses it to wash off any leftover soap still stuck to your skin. you’ve passed the state of relaxation now, completely lost in bliss from leehan’s caresses.

as you hug your knees to your chest, he tells you to lift your head up off the little towel. two strong hands grip your shoulders, massaging them lazily. his hands rub the tense muscles for a few minutes, sending tingling sensations down your spine. 

“love you so much, darling. so so much” he purrs into your ear softly before letting his warm lips trail down your neck. he reaches one hand across your face to cup your cheek, turning your head ever so slightly. his fingers slide to rest under your chin, and he slowly lifts your head up so you’re looking right in his eyes. 

“you’re everything to me, yn. everything” he says, then presses his mouth to yours softly. he deepens the kiss by swiping his tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entrance. you let him in, allowing your tongue to tangle with his. he lingers in your mouth for a while, languidly tasting you over and over again. he finally breaks away, his cheeks slightly flushed. 

your own cheeks are blushed as well, your breath stuck in your throat slightly, in awe of the kiss. 

leehan uses his thumbs to guide your eyelids closed to press feather-light kisses to each one, then he wanders all over your face, not letting any inch of skin go un-kissed. one last time, his lips finds yours again. 

you look up at him sleepily, so relaxed and soothed, you could fall asleep right there. the harsh cold and sadness of before long gone. he notices your sleepiness. 

“ready for bed, my love?” 

“mm-hmm” you hum in response, your lids fluttering closed as you let him scoop you out of the tub and stand you up carefully. he quickly gets your robe off of its hook, then wraps it around your body, guiding each of your arms through the sleeves. he snugs it around you as tight as possible before tying the strap around your waist. he goes to empty the tub, the water beginning to drain with a large gurgle. 

leehan turns you around by the shoulders, guiding you to the closet so you can get dressed in your pyjamas. you stand in the middle of the closet, studying your boyfriend as he contently sifts through your drawers, trying to find your comfiest set of pyjamas.

“ah—these ones! these are so cute, baby. and they’re nice and warm. what do you think, hm?” he turns to look at you with sparkling eyes, a hint of playfulness in them. 

“yeah, those will work leehan” you let out a breathy laugh, completely amused by the fact that leehan thought these pyjamas are cute, all pink and adorned with hearts. 

he goes to unwrap your robe and delicately slide it off of you, letting it pool at your feet. the sudden cold air makes you cover yourself, prompting leehan to coo and hastily bring your pyjama top over your head.

“here, baby”, he says softly. the warm fabric gives you immediate relief, eliciting a sigh out of you. he bends down to put on the fluffy pants, gently holding your the back of your calves as he does so. you help him bring them up all the way, to which leehan lifts your top slightly to plant a sneaky kiss to your stomach. 

“hey!” you giggle. “that tickles” 

he smiles up at you sweetly, his fluffy brown hair covering his pretty eyes. “oh!” he perks up suddenly.  “i forgot your socks!” he exclaims, jumping to his feet to go through your sock drawer. he grabs the warmest, fluffiest pair he can find. 

once he’s put them on your feet, he wastes no time in scooping you up in his arms for the nth time that night. he walks you to the bed, switching off the bathroom light on his way out. even though it’s a brief walk, you snuggle up to him close, your head finding the crook of his neck to rest in. you place a soft kiss to the area of skin, then another, and another, until you’ve placed as many as you can before he sets you down gently. 

he adjusts the covers so you can cuddle up underneath them, and you slide your body under them and snuggle up as much as possible, making yourself cozy. 

leehan pulls the covers up to your chin, tucking in the rest around around body, making sure you’re as warm as can be. he sits down next to you, taking your hands in his. after a moment, he speaks.

“you should eat something warm. how about some soup?” he asks. 

“that sounds lovely”, you say quietly, “thank you, leehanie. for…for everything”, squeezing his hand to punctuate the words. 

“it’s what i’m here for, darling.” he stands, then gives you a quick peck on your forehead, then leaves as he says “i’ll be back soon”

my leehan. you think as you watch him go. your eyes stay trained on the door way, your ears listening to the soft chinks of the dishes and the quiet closing of cupboards, and the occasional crinkle of a packet.

you wait patiently for your love. thanking the stars a million times over for him. how lucky you were for them to align just so, allowing you to be together.

just a couple hours ago, you were laying in this same spot, curled up into a sad, miserable ball, sobbing at how cruel your mind and the world was. you had wanted nothing more than the bed to swallow you whole. 

but then, he came home to you. and here you are now, underneath toasty covers, and you felt alright. you were comforted and relaxed, but most importantly, you were loved.

you lay in silence for a few long minutes, the occasional drip of the faucet hitting the bottom of the tub floating through the room. you trace random shapes with your eyes on the ceiling. just as your finishing tracing a heart, leehan walks in with a warm bowl of soup, soft swirls of steaming from it into the air. 

“it’s still a little hot but it shouldn’t take long to cool down” he says, placing the bowl on the nightstand next to you. he gives it a few stirs with the spoon, then turns his attention back to you. he smiles softly as he sits down next to you, fiddling the with warm duvet to snuggle you up more. 

he takes the bowl of comfort food in his hands with the towel. “open up” leehan lifts the spoon to your lips, then slowly tips it so you can swallow the warm liquid. 

“is it good?” he asks hopefully. 

“mm-hmm, it’s lovely. feels good to eat something warm” you respond sleepily, opening your mouth again as another spoonful comes towards you.

leehan feeds you lovingly in the perfect, comfortable quiet that envelopes you two. he makes sure you’ve eaten it all, until the bowl is just barely streaked with soup. when the spoon stops being useful, he brings the bowl to your lips and holds the back of your head gently as you drink up the rest. 

“i’ll go wash up the dishes. it’s not much, but if you feel like you need to sleep, don’t wait up for me, okay? rest. i love you, baby”. he kisses off an excess spot of soup at the corner of your mouth, then presses his lips to your forehead.

“i love you” you tell him softly.

you watch him go with heavy eyelids and a warm, full belly. 

you don’t fall asleep just yet, even though you feel sleep tugging at your brain and body. you nearly drift off, but jerk yourself awake. you wanted to wait for leehan.

he was so wonderful to you today, so caring and compassionate. your heart squeezes as your mind recounts the details of the night. every little moment of leehan caring for you making a content smile tug at your lips. 

by the time he comes back into the room, your eyes are barely able to stay open.

“you’re still awake? you didn’t have to wait for me, yn.” he offers you a sweet smile as he brushes a strand of hair away from your eyes. 

“i know, i wanted to though. i want some cuddles” you say gently.

“you’re gonna get lots of cuddles, i promise.” you feel leehan’s weight dip the bed as he climbs in next to you.

before he can say anything else, you decide to speak. “i’m sorry, leehan. i was such a mess today”, you say quietly, fiddling with the top of the covers. 

“baby, wha-what?”, a sudden look of concern paints his face, his eyebrows quirking up in confusion.

his eyes look at you sadly. “what do you have to be sorry for?” he breathes out, his hand cupping your cheek softly, his thumb making soothing strokes. 

“i-i just…” your words get caught in your throat, and you feel the prickle of tears behind your eyes. a sob threatens to leave you, so you take a deep breath before speaking again. 

“i just dumped so much on you, you know? out of nowhere. you came home and there i was, a complete sobbing mess. just dumping so much of emotions onto you, with no warning. i didn’t even ask you about your day. i’m sorry you had to see me that way…i’m such a burden”. the well-known dark feeling enters your chest again, the rampant monster in your mind waiting to pounce. 

“oh, angel” he sighs. leehan takes his hand off your cheek to grab one of yours, holding it so tightly, you wonder if he thinks you’ll slip away if he let go. 

he brings your hand to his lips and kisses it softly. 

he studies you earnestly. “don’t ever be sorry for being open with me. you’re not a bother. you’re the furthest thing from it. it’s okay if you were a mess. i’m a mess sometimes. and when i am, you’re always there to care for me. why wouldn’t i do the same for you?” he pauses briefly, as if to make sure he doesn’t cry.

“it breaks my heart to know you feel the way you do, yn. you deserve the whole world” his voice cracks slightly at the end. leehan says the words with so much fervor and love, you want to believe him, so badly, but your mind continues to build blocks. you hate yourself for it, and he sees it written on your face.

“please hear me when i say this, my love” he squeezes your hand tight, bringing it to his heart. “i promise you’re good enough. i know you feel small sometimes. but please believe me when i say you are good enough. you work so so hard, and you’re so talented. i see how much you sacrifice to do well. you’re kind and thoughtful and smart. and really, really gorgeous…” he trails off, letting out a breathy laugh. his eyes begin to twinkle.

“you still make my heart race, y’know that? every time i look at you, it goes crazy. just for you and only you…i know i’m not the best with words, but, i really do love you. and you mean everything to me. i don’t need or want you to be perfect or put-together all the time. i want to see all the parts to you.  don’t be sorry for your feelings, please. and don’t be afraid to come to me, alright? nothing about you is ever too much for me, angel. there’s no such thing.” 

you quite literally feel like you could burst into a million pieces at that very moment. no one has or will ever make you feel as loved as leehan. the world would have to end before you even tried to figure that out. you really try to hear him, try to cement the words into your heart, to will away the dark thoughts. they might not disappear entirely, but you had leehan. your sweet leehan, who would never let you go through it alone. 

a few tears have made their way down your cheeks again, and his. he places your hand down gently, then leans down to kiss away your tears. he takes his time, slowly licking up the salty trails. he cups your face, stroking your reddened cheeks soothingly. he kisses every part of your face until there’s no part of skin that hasn’t been touched. 

you take his face in your hands, brushing away stray pieces of hair from his eyes. “my leehan”, you dote, “i love you so much. what would i do without you?”

he brings his lips to yours, softly at first. the kiss is light, barely a touch. he pulls away, just for a moment, to look into your eyes. he kisses you again, but deeper this time, a way for you to say i love you better than his words could tell. it’s passionate and intimate and vulnerable, and it tastes of your salty tears and his vanilla chapstick. your stray fingers tug at his hair slightly, pressing him closer to you. it’s a thank you kiss. an i love you kiss. a kiss that says i’ll never leave you.

after a few moments, he slowly breaks away from you. your eyes still closed. carefully, they flutter open to see a dazed, dreamy-eyed leehan and with every fiber of his being, with every piece of his heart, he says, “i love you, yn. i’ll love you forever”

taglist — @whyilovewhales-pdf @uriwoos2

[javigutierrez]

Are you alright, Honey?

Javi Gutierrez x afab!reader oneshot

Summary: You’re going on a long weekend with your gorgeous new boyfriend, and after a day of unresolved sexual tension out on a roadtrip you’re ready to jump him the second you get home. Unless he finds a movie at the gas station he had been looking for for years and he wants to watch it with you. Will you be able to mask your desire for him, to enjoy a movie that means so much to him? (Spoiler alert no you won’t)

Rating & Word count: Explicit | ~8500 words

Warnings/tags: fluffffff, freshly established relationship, pining like whoa, very explicit smut, f!oral, f!fingering, tons of nipple play, non-penetrative sex (sumata ig?), unprotected penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, allusions to squirting, pleasure dom!Javi vibes, tw alcohol, tw food mention, Javi is a major dumb of ass but he makes up for it, reader has female genitalia, some boobs, and long enough hair to tuck it behind their ear but no other descriptions (let me know if you find anything else!), no age references

A/N: Here it is, after years of contemplating I'm posting my first fanfic in 12 years and my first fanfic in English ever. Please be kind, English is not my first language ❤ This is a huge thing to me, and I wouldn't have been able to get there without the help and encouragement of my lovely friends - I owe a kidney to @psychedelic-ink and @shellshocklove for their tremendous help as my betas, and to @iamasaddie @perotovar @chronically-ghosted @wannab-urs for listening to my bitching and moaning along the way and still staying my loyal cheerleaders 🥺 The whole idea popped into my mind like a movie while editing this gifset (which was inspired by @prolix-yuy’s Javi story, so special thanks to LJ 🥰), that 5th gif corrupting my mind for the next 2,5 months and this was the only way I could finally get it out of my system. 🤡 I hope you'll enjoy it! ❤

This was quite an eventful day. You spent your whole day out with Javi, having a road trip at Côte d’Azur. After a little bit more than a month of dating you had decided to go on a long weekend together, choosing the French coastlines. You had been absolutely amazed by the experience; clear azure waves embracing golden shores, the streets of seaside towns winding through history with beautiful architecture and warm colours, mountain tops lurking on the horizon behind the town. After Javi had told you he would get you into the Cannes movie festival, you were already talking about coming back for a few days. 

The sights were unbelievable and the food was delectable, but what really made the trip unforgettable was your new boyfriend. Spending time with Javi was so easy. With him, all your anxiety washed away - his sweet and caring personality was like a soothing balm for your soul, and with his fun-loving side, you really felt like living your life to the fullest. Not to mention how he showed his true colors in the bedroom. Absolutely devoted to your pleasure, he could be worshipping you, making you feel like a goddess, other times he would make you beg, then shower you with praises while he was giving you exactly what you needed. Who would have thought only a few weeks before, when​ you had started chatting with a stranger waiting in line at the cinema, that he would sweep you off of your feet almost immediately and turn your life upside down in the best way possible? 

There you were right now, coming home from another amazing day spent with him, laughing with him, staring at his profile while he was driving, smoothing out his sun-bleached locks tangled up by the wind in the cabrio while he was looking at you all doe-eyed and dopey-smiled. You were holding his hand, feeling his hand on your bare thigh, resting at the hem of your bunched-up sundress comfortably and sometimes you had caught him looking at you with the same intensity. It was safe to say, by the time you got in the car to get home you were ready to jump him. 

There was only one tiny thing you hadn’t calculated for when you had been planning your night (or rather imagining it dreamily from all angles): finding a DVD at a gas station. When his eyes fell on the item, he’d looked confused for a few seconds, but then taking it from the shelf and reading the cover his face lit up like a child’s in a candy store. 

As it turned out, it was an indie French movie he had watched with his parents back when he was young and they had been on a holiday. They had rarely spent quality time together, so he cherished those few occasions he’d felt like he belonged to an ordinary, loving family. He remembered the time fondly and he always wanted to find the movie because of the nostalgia of it all, but he had forgotten the title and didn’t know the actors, so after a lot of unsuccessful attempts, he’d given up trying. 

“Can we watch this tonight? Please?” He looked at you with big brown eyes, enveloping the DVD in his hands, (dwarfing it, really) and pressing it to his heart. And how could you say no to him? If he looked at you like that, you would have agreed to watch a 10-hour-long film about paint drying on a wall. 

“Of course, Javi,” you smiled at him gently, your heart melting from his child-like joy as you watched him gallop to the cashier to pay for the gas and the DVD. You pushed the slight disappointment of not being able to climb this gorgeous goofball of a man as soon as you get home, to the back of your mind. 

At the end of the day, you were genuinely happy to just spend time with him. You blamed your hormones and the fact that you were still in the honeymoon phase for being pent up all day. You couldn’t help it, but you are a big girl in an adult relationship, you decided, you can have one night without having sex with this tall, broad, gentle but surprisingly strong, passionate, generous, highly skilled–

“Let’s go!” he urged you with an adorable grin and shining eyes, grabbing your hand and tugging you out of the gas station. Your heart swelled from the sight. Yes, you can have a peaceful night if it makes him happy, and you will be just as hyped to watch the movie as him. It did seem like a good movie based on the cover, and you knew it meant the world to him, so you wouldn’t spoil his fun with your neediness. 

By the time you got back to your rented house, it was already dark, and the early autumn weather had gotten a bit more chilly. Javi practically jumped out of the car (but still rushed to your side to open your door). 

You agreed that you would prepare the snacks and set up the TV, while he would start the fireplace and get a bottle of wine from the cellar. He gave you a soft peck on your lips, one hand resting on the back of your neck, then he pretty much ran to the cellar - you think you even heard him giggling on his way. His enthusiasm was infectious, even though you’d never even heard about the movie before, now you were excited to watch it.

When you found out how to get the DVD to work Javi was already tinkling with the logs on the fireplace, a bottle of wine with two glasses on the kitchen counter already. You let yourself get lost in the sight for a good minute, your cavewoman brain activated by looking at him focusing on his task with his arms flexing, but then you shook yourself from your reveries, going to the American-style kitchen to put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and wash some grapes, then putting the wine on the coffee table next to the couch.

You couldn’t help but steal a few more glances at him. His short-sleeved shirt was now unbuttoned, hanging on his shoulders and your eyes fell on his white tank top straining over his torso. He seemed especially broad like this, and you couldn’t wait to cuddle with him and bury your face in his chest, kissing over the constellations of freckles on his shoulders and chest you were so familiar with by now.  

Once the fire was lighting, he looked at you proudly and you beamed back at him. The more his eyes were on you, the more his look grew softer. His gaze full of adoration made butterflies whoosh in your stomach - you were overwhelmed by emotions for this man, sometimes it even made you scared of falling too hard. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with watching this movie tonight, cariño?” He asked tenderly, his voice raspy and deep. He walked up to you to put his hands on your waist, caressing you with his thumbs and lowering his head to really look into your eyes. “I know these four days are supposed to be about the two of us.” There was no hurt or any malice in his voice, he was ready to drop the plan the second you said so. It felt like he was staring into your soul and suddenly you felt guilty. You obviously didn’t try hard enough to support him if he felt the need to ask and that made your guts tie up in a knot. You put your hands on the sides of his neck, then lowered them to his shoulders, then his chest. You never broke eye contact.

“Honey, I’m absolutely sure. We had a long day so a movie night is perfect to wind down and this movie seems super interesting! I swear, I can’t wait to start it already!” You rose on your tiptoes and laid an innocent kiss on his lips. He didn’t let you go, holding your face to deepen the kiss and a zap ran through your body as his tongue slipped between your lips to taste you. 

You felt his little huff on your upper lip, and you couldn’t resist the quiet moan that escaped your throat. The sound somewhat sobered you up, and you broke the kiss, feeling a little dizzy. He opened his eyes slowly, looking a bit disheveled himself. You had a mission to accomplish, you couldn’t get distracted all the time… you went back up just to give a small kiss on the tip of his nose, which made him smile bashfully, his eyes crinkling adorably. 

“Come on baby, let’s start it!” 

You grabbed the snacks, but he took them from you with a kiss on your temple, and you both headed to the couch. He put the snacks down on the table and plopped down on the L-shaped furniture as you went on a quick round to light some candles around the room, bathing it in warm colours. You started with the candles in the back and as you worked your way back up you caught him pouring wine into your glasses, then he started to explore the menu of the DVD to set up an English subtitle. With a small sigh, you allowed yourself to indulge yourself in his sight one last time while you were finishing up the candles. 

He quite literally took your breath away. His lovely locks you adored to bury your hands into so much, his eyes sparkling from the TV’s light and crinkled with a smile he probably didn’t even notice he had on his face. Your eyes followed the curve of his prominent nose and fell on his lips under his neat mustache. Those pouty lips... you had some vivid memories involving them. The man might look innocent, but he sure knew how to do sin when he wanted to. 

He leaned back with his legs propped up and reached out to you. You climbed on top of him and nestled yourself into his chest. He held you close to him, situating himself so you were sitting between his legs, resting your back on his chest. 

“Ready, cariño?” He hummed into your neck, pressing a small kiss there. Your blood sizzled under your sensitive skin. 

“Never been more ready! Let’s go!”

Javi started the movie and scooted even closer to you, if possible. Strong arms resting on your stomach, caging you in, he nuzzled your neck with a low hum, leaving a trail of kisses up your jaw, finishing with the softest of kisses on your cheek. You felt intoxicated, despite the untouched glasses on the table. His warmth was making your whole body melt, the way his chest rose and fell rhythmically behind you soothed you, and his cologne filled your nostrils with something warm and spicy and citrusy. But below all those layers it smelled uniquely like him, perfectly complementing his perfume. You would recognize it anywhere, after so many times of tasting his skin all over his body – it was the perfect concoction.

He was none the wiser about your… rather delicate situation, eyes glued to the screen, hands absentmindedly caressing your hips and stomach. You tried to focus on the movie, and you were able to catch glimpses of it and laugh at the jokes, but his touches kept distracting you. More often than not you caught yourself looking at his sinewy forearms, the golden watch on his wrist, and the ring on his pinky catching on your dress from time to time. You slowly traced the veins on his arms, and as you tried to focus on the screen again you played with the edges of his watch and ring. He gently caught your hand, intertwining your fingers and raising it to his face for a kiss on your knuckles. 

“Some wine?” He murmured sometime later. 

You were grateful for the opportunity, slightly going mad from the tension as you were stewing in your juices. He barely finished his question, you were already leaning for the glasses, handing him one. “Oo-kay,” he chuckled at your enthusiasm, albeit a little confused by your behaviour. He paused the movie and sat up at the corner of the couch. You were still between his legs, but you both positioned yourself to turn to each other more at the corner. His left hand held the glass, and his right was on your waist, keeping you close to him. His eyes were glazed over looking at your face and you could only imagine how ridiculously smitten you must have looked like. 

“For this perfect day, and for the unexpected gifts it has brought us,” he said, raising his glass. 

“For this perfect day, that is about to get even better,” you answered, making him grin with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. 

You clinked your glasses and raised it to your lips, him barely tasting the wine through a sip, while you downed the whole glass. Leaning back against the backrest of the couch, you tried to look put together. The taste really was divine, and you had hoped it would help to calm your nerves a bit. Javi was visibly amused looking at you.

“You liked it, huh, cariño?” He asked, getting your glasses and putting them on the table leaning over your legs. 

You giggled in response, smiling shyly at him with a small shrug, “It tasted amazing, Javi. It was a great choice.” 

“I knew you would love this. Say the word and a box of these will be at my house by the time we get home,” he said, as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ears and kept his hand on the side of your face. 

“Consider it said.” You winked at him and he breathed out a silent laugh, but he tilted his head a little with a small frown between his brows, seemingly inspecting you. You had a feeling you had looked a bit nervous, only because you’d tried to clumsily mask your desire for him, wanting to give this night to him to enjoy a movie that meant so much to him but… you clearly weren’t succeeding. You knew he was about to ask you about it, so instead you grabbed the remote before he could speak. 

“Shall we?” You asked nonchalantly. 

His hand dropped from your face. “Of course,” he said. 

He shook his head a little, failing at figuring you out as he leaned back on the couch. You laid down in front of him so you could continue watching the movie while he spooned you, and pressed the play button. You’d hoped that with this new pose, there would be less temptation as you’re not laying on him anymore, but boy, were you wrong. 

He hoisted you closer to his body, his hand splayed out on your stomach, and kept you there, almost protectively. Staring at it, you dumbly wondered about how much smaller your torso looked under his hand than your own and that activated something primal in your mind again. You felt his crotch pressed up to your ass, and though he wasn’t hard, it made your cunt throb around nothing. It was so close, yet so far, and you weren’t allowed to do anything about it. Your guts twisted, and you wiggled every few minutes, pressing your thighs together, uselessly fighting the arousal that kept getting more and more suffocating. 

A few minutes later he nuzzled at the back of your ear, and the combined sensations of his breath in your ear and the soft tickle of his mustache and stubble made a shudder run through your body, followed by goosebumps everywhere.

“Are you alright, honey?” He murmured, looking at your profile. 

“Of course, Javi,” you said, not very convincingly. “Just trying to find the perfect angle.” You explained as you wiggled some more, still staring at the TV, as your thumb gently smoothed across his knuckles to soothe him. 

“Right…” he replied. 

Whatever he thought, he didn’t say anything else. 

However, a few minutes later the hand that had been on your stomach slowly wandered down, below the hem of your sundress, and he gently, but firmly lifted your thigh to fit his between your legs. The movement was so unexpected that you couldn’t hold back a small groan from the pleasure the friction gave you. 

“You sure you’re alright?” Javi asked innocently behind your back, his hand now smoothing over the bare skin on your thigh, leaving an electric feeling beneath your skin in its trail. Every single one of his touches made arousal pool between your legs. You silently cursed at your body for growing more and more sensitive, begging for him to come closer. 

“Yeah…” you practically squeaked. You were close to your breaking point. 

Javi only hummed, his hand stopping to rest it on your stomach again. You were fighting your instincts to rub yourself on his thigh for a few minutes, and you were proud of yourself for resisting, but then he moved between your legs a little, enough to give attention to your aching clit, and the hiss that escaped your lips made him come to a halt. 

It felt like the time froze for a few seconds, none of you daring to move. You, trying to take back control over your treacherous body, and him obviously assessing the situation. You mentally did a facepalm as you felt your wet underwear sticking to his pants. He didn’t say anything, but his hand moved down from your stomach and bunched up your skirt. He breathed out your name, almost admonishing, and it made your heart jump. His hand was dangerously close to where you wanted him the most, and as his palm covered your mound, thick fingers reaching your soaked panties, he buried his face in the back of your neck. 

“Oh, honey…” he choked. He took a deep inhale, smelling your scent, then suddenly sat up and paused the movie. 

“No, Javi, I was watching it!” You wanted to wince at yourself, your act was truly ridiculous at this point. 

“None of that, cariño.” He shook his head, turning you on your back with a firm hand on your hip. “You obviously need me, please let me take care of you.” 

“It really can wait, I don’t mind!” You protested. You wanted nothing more than for him to touch you, but you didn’t want to be selfish. 

“Well, I don’t want to wait!” He declared, his gaze burning you as it fell from your face, scanning your body splayed out in front of him. “What about this: I eat you out, then we can continue the movie. Would that be okay for you?” 

You stared at him like a deer caught in a headlight. Is he serious? But his words definitely affected you. 

“Please, cariño,” he continued in a gentler tone, his pleading eyes finding yours again. “Let me eat your pretty pussy, now.” 

That was the last nail in your coffin, you swore under your breath as you almost went cross-eyed from his words only. “Fffuck, okay… okay let’s do this” you croaked after a few seconds, your defenses crumbling like a house of cards in a tornado. 

“Atta girl,” he smirked, and in an instant, he was on top of you. 

His fingers found their way into your hair as he put his lips on you, the press of his body a comforting weight on you. His kiss was electric, hot, and sensual. He sucked your lips in with a primal hunger, his tongue licking against the seam of your lips, opening you up to him and claiming your mouth with dominance. You barely noticed the soft sounds coming from your throat, only when you felt the corners of his mouth curl up slightly in a smile. You felt like you had to anchor yourself as you gripped the back of his open yellow shirt so hard, it was protesting against your ministrations on his shoulders. 

“Mmmtake—this—off,” you whispered desperately against his all-encompassing kiss. 

Javi leaned back, his hair disheveled, to practically tear the shirt off of himself. With a huff through his nose, his eyes gazed at your kiss-swollen lips with hunger. You were out of breath from the intensity of the kiss, panting softly as you took in the sight of him. 

He still had his tank top on, your mouth already dropping from the show. His top only accentuated his wide shoulders and narrow waist, and his skin kissed by the firelight was glowing in a golden light, its colours and the way the lights and shadows exaggerated his features made you drool. You could never resist the freckles on his shoulders and chest either. If you weren’t already on the edge of insanity, you would spend hours kissing and biting along his torso, but now clearly none of you had the patience for that. 

He came back to you and started suckling on your neck, one of your hands flying to his back to weakly trace the ridges of his shoulder blade, while the other clutched his bicep. Keeping up his ministrations on your neck he gently bunched up your dress above your stomach. His thigh found its way back between your legs and this time you bucked your hips up shamelessly. He groaned as he felt your wet warmth staining his pants and his lips traveled lower. As he trailed your collarbone with the tip of his tongue between his lips, two of his fingers touched you through your panties and you moaned out loud. 

“Javi, please!” you whined as he trailed his middle and ring finger up your seam, and tapped on your clit through the soaked textile. You were so worked up, you felt your heart pounding in your ears. 

“Shhh cariño, I got you,” he murmured, his voice impossibly low and his breath burning your chest. 

His fingers never gave up, but he always kept his touches light, making you throb uncontrollably. You watched him move lower, and you couldn’t decide what to stare at: his lips and tongue molding against your fevered skin, or the dips and hills of his shoulders and biceps flexing as he kept himself up with one arm while torturing you with the other. He traced his tongue around your navel and he looked up at you as he licked over its valley, his fingers mimicking the movement below. He then had the audacity to send you a cheeky wink as your whole body shuddered.

“Fuuuck, stop teasing me, I can’t take it anymore!” you sounded pathetic, but you didn’t care at this point.

“Okay, baby. You earned it.” 

He consoled you quietly with a final kiss to your lower stomach, before hooking his fingers into your panties to slowly drag the piece down. If it was anyone else you probably would have felt awkward about how the fabric protested at first, sticking to your cunt, but with Javi, if anything, you felt powerful. 

He was visibly trying to compose himself as he gently helped you get both your legs out of the ruined piece and with a shaky exhale he scooted back. He shove a cushion under your ass as he laid down on his belly, navigating your thighs over his shoulders, eyeing your center with blown-out pupils. 

“I will never get used to this,” he mused to himself with wonder in his voice, as he splayed his hands across the crease of your ass to softly spread your cunt wide open with his thumbs. You felt his heavy huff on your pussy, and it made you twitch again. He looked captivated by the sight.

“Javi, I swear to go—oohhh my god,” Javi cut you off as the flat of his tongue licked a broad and firm stripe through your folds with a depraved moan.

Your whole body lifted up, and he hooked his arms around your legs, grabbing at the top of your thighs as he held you down, keeping you close to his ravenous mouth. He gave you a few greedy laps, slowly exploring all of your cunt before his tongue lazily went around your hole. Your muscles were twitching, your chest and neck aflame, and if his sight weren’t so hypnotizing you would have thrown your head back already. You felt boneless. 

Your abs shaking from the strain of keeping you upright, you grabbed a few cushions you could reach from your position, and shoved them under your head, angling yourself perfectly to watch him at work. He was licking at you tirelessly, mapping all your sensitive spots, before he started to fuck you with his tongue, slowly but deliberately grazing your walls all around. 

You let out a raspy moan at the sensation - he was the first person who had ever done this to you and you were still surprised by it every single time. The feel of his agile muscle prodding at your sensitive flesh made your vision blur and sweat gather around your temple. He went as deep as possible, and after an inhale he buried his nose in your clit, slightly moving it left and right. You felt him everywhere as if he was surrounding your entire body. One of your hands grabbed a cushion so tightly, it made your knuckles ache, your other hand finding purchase in his soft locks. 

You were scraping his scalp with your fingernails, and he practically purred, the sounds vibrating against your raw flesh, starting a fire in your guts as goosebumps erupted on your skin. You couldn’t help pulling at a handful of hair as your pussy spasmed around his deft tongue. His purr turned into a growl as he removed himself, gulping some air still a few inches away from your cunt. Your hands lifelessly plopped down around you. 

“Fuck, cariño, I won’t ever get enough of you,” his speech was slurred like he was drunk and he looked up at you with disoriented eyes. “You taste so good, I would happily drown in you.”

You wanted to react, you really did, but as he was talking one of his hands left your thigh and traced an invisible pattern down the apex of your thighs, fingers traveling through your cunt and gathering your juices, then reaching their destination, a thick digit slipping into you just when you wanted to answer him. Whatever you wanted to tell him, he rendered you speechless with literally a swipe of his finger. The cracking of the fire and the slick sounds of your pussy were the only noises around you, until you felt his mouth on you again. He lapped up the juices escaping you around his finger, sucking on your lips with obscenely loud noises. You wanted to cover your face because you suddenly felt self-conscious, but his free hand grabbed your wrist as you heard him call your name brokenly. 

“Please don’t hide away from me, I want to see your face as I bring you pleasure,” he pleaded, his accent a bit stronger than usual. 

The mere look of him was debauched, all messy-haired and shiny-faced, looking at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Your heart skipped a beat, and you held onto his hand, his thumb tracing reassuring circles on your knuckles immediately. Your other hand smoothed his unruly hair out of his face, and he went back, keeping eye contact with you. 

“Look at me,” he rasped one last time before diving in.

He dragged his tongue up between your folds as his finger started moving again. He looked up at you the entire time from under his lashes, eyes half-lidded. As he reached your clit you jumped a little, and he opened his mouth wider so you could see his tongue moving against the tortured little nub with a small wiggle. You had to compose yourself not to let your eyes roll back, the sight somehow multiplying the already devastating sensation tenfold. 

“You’re so fucking good to me, Javi,” you uttered, caressing his hair and you could see a shiver running down his spine. “I’m so—so—“

“I know, mi amor, I can feel it. Let go for me.” 

He groaned and sucked your clit into his mouth, laving it with his tongue. You squealed, not knowing if you wanted to escape from his ministrations or let him consume you. You tried to trash around but his hands came up and covered the bottom of your stomach, holding you down again. You had half the mind to notice him slowly grinding onto the couch, but then you felt his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, along with his finger rubbing that perfect spot inside you again, and you felt like a lightning struck you. 

All your muscles seized up as white-hot pleasure coursed through your veins. At first, you couldn’t even breathe, let alone make a sound, but then a groan tore out from the depth of your chest and you fell back on the couch lifelessly. Javi never let up licking at you, prolonging your catharsis, not stopping even when you tried to squirm away from oversensitivity. 

“No, no wait—“ you pleaded with a shaky voice to no avail. Everything was too much, but you couldn’t escape from his iron grip. Javi greedily explored all your sensitive spots around your swollen vulva and hole with firm strokes, before he found the button of your clit again, sucking on it harshly dragging you under the waves of ecstasy for a second time that night with a squeak. His mouth was sucking at you relentlessly through the helpless spasms of your body, draining all the energy from you and filling your brain with fuzzy cotton. You fell back limply, muttering nonsense while his mouth gently cleaned you up.

You had no idea how long you were just laying there uselessly, basking in the afterglow with Javi still between your legs. His face rested on the plush of your thigh, his breathing slow but heavy, his eyes closed and his hands flexing. 

Once your wits came back to you, you noticed a faint dent on your thigh from Javi’s ring, a thought of how you wanted to tattoo it on your skin filled your mind – to keep it there forever. 

You played with his hair again, curling a silky strand around your finger by scraping little circles on his scalp. As if you woke him up from a stupor, he looked up at you, breathing now almost normal, but his pupils were still blown out. He wiped his face on your inner thigh, then kissed and sucked off the remnants of your wetness there and you giggled, his facial hair tickling you. He crawled up your body with a smile across his face, before he laid next to you. You immediately followed him, decorating the hot skin on his shoulders and collarbone with lazy, open-mouthed kisses. He weakly pawed at your waist to bring you closer to him, then dragged the bottom of your dress over your thighs to give you some decency. 

“Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he pondered and gently pinched your ass. You snickered as you playfully swatted his chest, before laying your head on his pecs. His heart was beating wildly and it made you swoon, so much so that you had to lay a soft kiss between his pecs, just above the hem of his top before nuzzling even more into his blushed chest, as a content sigh fell from your lips. Your gaze couldn’t help but fall to his bulge - he was visibly affected by your previous endeavors. 

“Javi…” you whispered in his neck, while your hand gently caressed his stomach. You felt his heavy exhale under you. “If you want… we can continue…” 

“Oh! Of course, cariño!” he said, perking up, reaching out for the remote control and pushing the play button again, eyes immediately glued on the screen. 

You laid there, having a mental tantrum. Well, things weren’t going the way expected. How can he still be thinking about the movie? 

Squashing that ugly disappointment down, you turned in his arms to try to focus on the TV again. You weren’t allowed to complain, he said he would make you cum and you would continue the movie, and he did just that and more. You couldn’t help the ravenous hunger you had for this man though, it was never enough of him. You laid a soft kiss on his bicep below your head and your arm reached behind to gently shove him back against you. He followed you diligently, but he tensed as his bulge, now hard, rested against your ass again. 

“I’m sorry honey, I’ll just need a minute,” he apologised quietly, voice strained from embarrassment and barely veiled desire. 

The devil on your shoulder took over you as you rolled your hips against him slowly but deliberately. The filthy sound coming from deep in his chest melted your bones, making it hard to keep back your own needy whine. 

“Wh—what are you doing?” 

His strong grip on your hip felt like a warning, but his voice was so weak. That’s what made you throw all your culture out the window, giddy roiling in your guts from feeling him get fully erect against you. You barely registered your hand moving mindlessly, grinding your palm against him. His hand clenched around your forearm easily, but he didn’t move it away. 

“I need you, Javi,” you begged shamelessly, turning your head back in his direction as much as possible. 

“Fuck…” he breathed, eyes closed shut with a loud gulp. When he opened his eyes again his gaze was intense, one of his hands cradling your face as he propped himself up on his elbow to look deeply into your eyes. “I thought you wanted to watch the movie…” 

That made you freeze with confusion, even your hand stopped moving over him. 

“…me?” You asked incredulously. “I mean yeah, it does seem like a great movie and I’d happily watch it any other time, but I couldn’t wait to be alone with you the entire day. I’ve wanted to eat you up since we crawled out of bed this morning. But I’m happy to do anything as long as I’m with you– and you looked so happy to find that movie… I don’t know… I just didn’t want to ruin your joy with my neediness, I guess” you confessed hastily with warm cheeks. 

A soft sound of surprise got stuck in his throat as he looked at you with saucer eyes, gaping like a fish. It looked rather comical if you were honest. If you didn’t feel so sheepish about your clumsy confession, you would have giggled at his expression. 

He shook his head lightly, as if processing your words. “So that’s why you were acting so weird tonight!” He exclaimed, relief evident on his face. He breathed out your name softly, his thumb caressing your face ever so gently. 

“I felt the same way the entire day. I got distracted by finding the movie, I give you that, but up until that moment, I was contemplating taking you in the bathroom in every single place we visited. Even in the car, consequences be damned,” he huffed, and you had to clench your thighs to alleviate the need growing between them again from the mental image. 

“Cariño, I have the DVD now, I can watch it whenever I want!” He tutted, “I swear, one day I’m gonna write a screenplay for you to be the lead in it, you’re such a talented actress. You seemed so eager to watch this movie that I felt guilty for trying to distract you,” he smoothed a strand of hair behind your ear with a chuckle, “I suppose both of us were fools…” 

You couldn’t hold back a rather unsexy snort at that, but it made him beam at you with crinkling eyes. 

He cupped your jaw and leaned over to press a sweet kiss on your lips, but it immediately grew hungry. The stark difference between his precious face and the taste of yourself still on his tongue made a shudder run through your body. 

Javi can really do both, you thought dreamily, but you were quickly snapped back to reality when he rolled you on top of him and deepened the kiss as he slowly sat up, helping you to position yourself on your knees around his hips. He planted his feet on the couch and grabbing your bare asscheeks firmly he dragged your pulsing center down on his bulge. 

Your hands flew to his hair, arms resting on his shoulders, feeling like passing out when you felt his cock twitch against your bare pussy, tearing a low hiss out of him. He bunched up and gripped your dress around your torso. 

“This little dress was teasing me all day,” he groaned, slowly pulling down the zip on your back, the edge of his thumb caressing your bare spine in the process. “It looks fantastic on you, honey, but I need to see all of you, right now.” 

By the time he finished his thought, he already tugged it off of you, your breast jiggling in front of his face from the impact of falling out of the secure hold of the dress, his heavy gaze falling to them immediately, your body now bare in his lap. 

“Oh god, look at you… tan bonita,” he murmured as his hands slid over your ribs firmly, before they slipped under your breasts with a feather-light touch. 

He cupped the mounds gently as his thumbs smoothly explored the skin. The pad of his fingers traced your areola, then softly rubbed over your sensitive nipples. You arched your back, leaking some more wetness on his trousers as you rubbed yourself heavier on him. One hand molded a breast into his waiting mouth, tongue wiggling around the achy nub and the other slipping down your shivering stomach, across the top of your thigh and teasing at your seam across your ass. 

The suckling sensation on your nipple, while his hand was prodding teasingly at your swollen entrance made you go insane. You had to center yourself around something. You clasped the back of the couch tightly, using it as support as you pushed your chest more in his face. Without hesitation, you vigorously moved your clit against his bulge, your head arched back in ecstasy.

His wrecked moan was the prize, your breast slipping from his lips as you watched a tremor course through his entire body. Once he came back to his senses he doubled down his efforts, nuzzling the other breast and sucking the pebbled nipple in his hot mouth. 

His tongue started to swirl around the hardened nub at the same time as two of his fingers drowned in your slick pussy, finding your most sensitive spot with devastating accuracy. Your mind went blank, and your gasps came out in hiccups. Your instincts took over as you were riding his bulge with trembling legs, chasing your blinding pleasure. You only had enough wits to sit back to undo his belt, ripping off his fly, and with his help, you were able to push his pants down his thighs, freeing his erect cock.

His hand grasped the base and gently tapped it against your sensitive clit, and your hips started moving again, trapping his length under your pussy as you continued to slide over him. He softly bit on your nipple in response which blazed off fireworks in your lower stomach, his other hand never stopping its brutal pace grinding against your most sensitive spot. You were so close to cumming you could practically taste it on your tongue. 

“Feels so good—,“ your voice was desperate, and he let out a wrecked moan around your breast. 

The soft pulling sensation, coupled with the warm, wet caresses of his mouth on your nipple, the expert touch of his fingers on your g-spot, and the tantalizing friction of your clit rubbing against the ridges of his cock, quickly sent you spiraling into a world of ecstasy and pleasure. You came with a wail, your back arching and eyes rolling back. You faintly felt Javi’s hands at the base of your back and along your spine, keeping you close to him while his eyes feasted on you falling apart for him. You fell back on his shoulders, weakly grasping at his elbows as his palms caressed your back and he showered your neck with small kisses, humming quietly between them. 

“You did so well, you’re fucking amazing,” he breathed against your skin, as you felt your pulse slow down a bit. He kissed a path down your sweaty chest and came back the same route. After some blissful peace, you felt his cock twitch against you and you whined. 

“Do you have one more in you, mi amor? We can rest,” Javi asked gently, his eyes searching for yours. 

Bless his heart, he made you come three times and he would finish the night here and there, hard as a rock. Your body was still buzzing and you felt sore from his thick fingers but one look at his sinful state was enough to get you in the mood again. 

His lovely locks were now sticking to his face, the perspiration on his chest only making him glow even more. His mouth was agape, plush lower lip kiss-swollen, and his dark eyes silently pleading with you. Instead of giving him an answer, you gripped the hem of his tank top and peeled the offending item off of him as he held up his arms, helping you and keeping his lustrous eyes on yours. 

Resting your hands on the top of his chest you kissed down his neck, between his collarbones. Sitting back lower on his legs, you could trace your tongue between his pecs and down to his soft stomach. You couldn’t help but kiss around his little belly, giving him a playful bite which made him jolt with a small laugh. Your finger traced the soft patch of hair below his navel, and understanding your silent request, he kicked down the remaining of his clothes while you kneeled on the side. 

You were fascinated as you watched his cock in all its glory, shiny from your juices, precum already leaking from the angry, red tip. Your mouth watered at the sight, and you were already in motion to have a taste for yourself when he stopped you, gently putting his hands around your arms. 

“It pains me to stop you, but the second I feel your mouth on me, I would be a goner.” His husky voice was layered with desire. “C’mere, I need to be inside you,” he added, and you almost jumped on him. 

You crawled back over his hips while he pumped his cock a few times, his veins bulging in his cock and forearms. It was one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen and you filed the idea for later exploration. You went lower on him and he smeared his member over your slit, covering him in your juices generously again, then he prodded the head at your entrance. 

“Come on, cariño, let me feel you, please,” he growled, and you carefully descended down on him. 

You were over quite a few nights with him, but your pussy still struggled to accommodate his size, especially now that you were still sore and sensitive from earlier. The struggle felt like a pinch and you whined, but he cradled your face and kissed your forehead. 

“It’s okay honey, take your time,” he whispered and let you take the lead for the moment. 

He caressed everywhere he could reach. He sucked two fingers into his mouth and lead them to your clit, ever so slightly drawing circles around it. At first, it felt like a needle stab, but a few seconds later it turned into pleasure. You swallowed more of him with a quiver. You felt so full, even though you were still a few inches apart from sitting down completely. 

His tongue found your breasts again, laving at the skin with bites and kisses alternating between them, tongue chasing your puffy nipple with confident laps. When he sucked in your soaked bud to bite down on it your cunt bottomed out, swallowing his cock entirely as a fresh wave of slickness coated his base. He tore away from your glistening nipple, burying his face between your breasts with a heavy groan. 

“You’re so fucking tight around me,” he rasped into your damp chest. “You were made for me. And your skin is so fucking silky.” 

Just to prove his point, his greedy tongue made its way up your chest, across your neck and jaw and to claim your mouth in a hedonistic kiss, as his hands grabbed the meat of your ass; not to force you to move, but to ground himself. 

The kiss was a little clumsy, but no less toe-curling, his tongue exploring your mouth and teeth clashing as you started to rise and fall against him. You felt so full, as if he was in your guts. Your lungs burned as you felt more and more overwhelmed by the inferno in your body. You broke away from him only to lay back, hands grabbing his shins while continuing to move up and down on his cock. 

The new angle was exhausting, but it rubbed your insides from just the perfect direction, and your vision blurred from the sensation. From this angle he had the best view of his cock disappearing in your puffy cunt, then appearing again, covered in your juices. Javi was hypnotized by the sight, his mouth dropping, and eyebrows knitted tightly together. 

“That’s it, use me, just like that,” he grunted, trapped under your spell over him. 

Heavy-lidded eyes followed your every move, and as he reached out to touch your overworked clit again your thighs started to tremble so hard that you couldn’t continue gyrating against him. He swore under his breath as you throbbed around him another time, and you leaned over his body to grab his shoulders. 

He prompted you to rise higher on your knees above him as he secured his feet on the surface of the couch. One arm braced himself next to his torso, while the other slipped up your back to grab your shoulder from the back, and he started to pound into you mercilessly, stealing your breath. You could barely stay in place, so you grabbed the backrest of the couch as you felt tears pricking your eyes from the intensity. 

“Are you close, baby? I’m so close but I need you to come first,” he strained, seemingly every muscle in his body tensing from the exertion.

He looked like a sculpture of a deity from ancient times, especially when his head fell back, the thick column of his gorgeous neck on full display. You could only nod, not being able to even form a coherent thought anymore as your desperate whines became constant. He raised his head again - he couldn’t keep his gaze away from where you connected, his face almost looked angry from the concentration. 

“Fuckfuckfuck, rub your clit for me,” he roared, and you followed his order immediately. 

Almost as soon as you touched your clit, you started shuddering violently with a loud and raspy cry, tears running down your face as he kept grazing your g-spot with every powerful thrust. You felt possessed as your entire body short-circuited, and your ears started ringing. You faintly registered his load painting your walls as your throbbing core milked him dry, his growl echoing in your ears. 

You collapsed on him like a ragdoll, your sweaty bodies colliding as he kept you close to his chest. As you came back to your wits a few minutes later you felt raw and weak and vulnerable, but it was okay because Javi was there, embracing you with strong arms and gentle kisses across your face, swiping away your tears. His body was like a shelter as you clung to him with all your limbs and he kept you safe from whatever was happening outside of your bubble. 

“Are you okay?” He whispered, your name falling from his lips like a prayer as his hand smoothed over your hair while his body swayed you gently. 

“I’m… I’m more than okay,” you croaked, still feeling boneless as you weakly clasped into his body. “Thank you, this was a spiritual experience.” He huffed a small laugh at that. 

“You are incredible,” he cooed. 

You lazily nuzzled deeper into his neck with a hum, letting his scent calm your frayed nerves down. You stayed like that, limbs intertwined for a while, before Javi reluctantly pulled out of you, making the both of you groan as he gently helped you to lay on your back and he hurried to the bathroom in all his naked glory. 

He came back soon, but that little time was enough for you to realize that your thighs and mound were drenched. That explains the out-of-body experience. 

Javi sat down next to you, a warm and wet washcloth in his hand. He cleaned you up with reverence, eyeing the marks he had left over your body. He seemed worried, but you wore them with pride.

“That’s very kind of you, but I think we will need to shower anyway,” you smiled bashfully, and he placed a smooth kiss on your forehead.

“I wasn’t sure if you had enough energy for that,” he rasped.

“If you help me, it won’t be an issue,” you sat up slowly, your coordination akin to a newborn foal, his hand held out to help you to stand. 

“Of course, cariño.” 

His warm eyes made your knees buckle, this time not from your physical activities. As if on cue, the credits rolled on the screen with a blaring sound, and both of you jerked your head in its direction with alarm, obviously forgetting about the movie going in the background the entire time. You looked back at each other with wide eyes, laughter erupting out of you at the same time.

“So, you wanna watch the movie when we get back home?” He snickered.

“Definitely!” You perked up at the prospect of spending more time with him after your getaway. Besides, now it was your mission to finally really watch the movie. “Unless you’ll need me again,” you added, wiggling your eyebrows at him. He chuckled and smacked your ass gently.

“I was hoping for that answer.”

—————

THE END.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs & feedbacks are highly appreciated ♥️

[prettygirl-gabi]

Skin to Skin

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Rating: General Audiences

Warning:Fluffy fluff, even more fluff, very boring but cute aftercare

Category:F/M

Fandom: Matt Sturniolo (Sturniolo Triplets)

Relationships: !boyfriend Matt Sturniolo x f reader

Summary: imagine laying on top of matt skin to skin after sex and he’s just carresing the back of ur head 😢

This came from @mattscoquette and her anonymous ask.... I hope I did it justice and I hope I did it well

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I lay on top of Matt, our bodies warm and tangled, the only sounds in the room being the quiet hum of the city outside and our slowed breaths. My head rests against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my ear is comforting. His arm is wrapped around my shoulders, his hand moving slowly up and down my back, tracing small, soothing circles. I feel safe, cocooned in the warmth of his skin and the softness of his touch.

Neither of us says anything for a while, content in the shared silence. I close my eyes, feeling the rise and fall of his chest with each breath. The room is dimly lit, a soft glow from the bedside lamp casting gentle shadows over us. I can feel him occasionally shift, his fingers grazing the back of my neck, sliding up into my hair, then back down to the base of my spine. I love the way he touches me—so careful, as if I might slip away if he’s not gentle enough.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly, his voice a soft rumble that I feel more than I hear.

I nod, too relaxed to open my eyes just yet. "Mhm," I murmur, nestling closer. "I'm perfect."

He laughs, a quiet sound, and I feel his chest vibrate beneath me. "Perfect, huh?" He shifts slightly, brushing a few strands of hair away from my face. "I can live with that."

I smile, opening my eyes to look up at him. His face is relaxed, his eyes soft and sleepy. There’s something in his gaze that makes my heart flutter—a kind of tenderness that he usually hides beneath his usual jokes and laid-back attitude. But right now, with just the two of us here, he doesn’t hold anything back.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, almost like he doesn’t mean to say it out loud. His hand moves up to cradle the back of my head, his thumb tracing a gentle line along my cheek. "I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this."

My cheeks flush, and I look away, a little embarrassed. "Stop," I mumble, though I don’t really want him to.

But he shakes his head, his gaze steady. "No. I mean it. You’re... you’re everything." His words are soft, sincere, and they settle in my chest, warm and comforting.

I close my eyes again, letting his words sink in. It's moments like these that make everything worth it—the late-night conversations, the small, quiet gestures, the laughter we share. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this connected to someone, like we’re two parts of the same whole.

After a few more minutes, I shift, lifting myself up just enough to meet his gaze. "You don’t have to be all sweet, you know," I tease, though my voice comes out softer than I intended. "I’m not going anywhere."

He smiles, his fingers brushing against my temple. "I know," he says, pulling me back down to his chest. "But I want to. I like being sweet to you."

His words make my heart ache in the best way. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close, feeling his warmth seep into me. It’s quiet again, and I close my eyes, letting myself sink into the moment. I feel him press a soft kiss to the top of my head, his lips lingering for a moment before he settles back against the pillow.

"Are you tired?" he asks after a while, his voice low.

I shake my head, running my hand up his side, feeling the way his muscles shift beneath my touch. "Not really. I just want to stay like this."

"Good," he murmurs, tightening his arm around me. "Because I’m not letting you go."

We lay there for a while longer, wrapped up in each other. His fingers never stop moving, tracing gentle patterns along my back, his touch grounding me, reminding me that he’s here, that this is real.

Eventually, I break the silence, lifting my head to look at him again. "What are you thinking about?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

He looks at me, his gaze soft, thoughtful. "Just… you. Us. How lucky I am."

His words hit me, filling me with a warmth that I can’t quite put into words. "I’m the lucky one," I whisper, brushing my fingers over his jawline. "I didn’t think I’d ever feel like this."

He smiles, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. "Me neither," he murmurs, his breath warm against my skin. "But I don’t want it any other way."

I close my eyes, letting his words wash over me, letting myself believe them. There’s a vulnerability in moments like this, a kind of raw, unfiltered honesty that makes me feel closer to him than ever. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

He shifts slightly, adjusting the blankets around us, making sure I’m comfortable. His touch is gentle, reassuring, like he’s trying to tell me without words that he’ll always be here, that he’ll always take care of me.

"I love you," he whispers, almost like he’s afraid to break the quiet, but his words settle over me like a blanket, warm and comforting.

I look up at him, my heart swelling. "I love you too," I whisper back, my voice thick with emotion.

He pulls me closer, his hand moving up to cradle the back of my head, his fingers tangled in my hair. And in that moment, I know that this is where I belong—right here, in his arms, safe and loved.

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-Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

-prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️

[bloomyeu]

peach eyes

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in which chan and you struggle to convey the love you have for each other

word count: 1.7k

warnings: angst? fluff? comfort? :) not edited

a/n: channie is so soft i luv him. fic is based off peach eyes by wave 2 earth

masterlist | requests

He knew he loved you.

He really did, but at times he felt like it was never conveyed. The constant hours at the studio, the time away on tour, on a plane, at a showcase, hours that werent spent with you. He felt bad, when was the last time he kissed you? 3 weeks ago? Maybe 4?

Maybe its time he lets you go. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You knew you loved him.

Yes he was always busy, yes he wasn't home, but with him you were complete and that was that mattered. No matter how much time was spent apart.

Maybe its time you let him know you love him.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Its been a few weeks since chan had last been home, and with the two weeks coming up to it, you could only think of how you could surprise him to make him feel the love you have for him. To hug and kiss him without anything holding you back.

He was supposed to be back at around 6pm. So you made everything he loved. A home cooked meal of jjajangmyeon, bobs burger on the tv, christmas candle lit, fuzzy blanket ready on the couch, and cuddles. 

The plan was to tell him how you felt as soon as you both finished dinner, although things don't always go exactly as planned. 

hey ynnie, flight got delayed :[ have no idea what time ill be home we also have a team dinner as soon as we land so dont wait up for me! im sorry baby, i rlly wanted to see u

hii channie awe thats sucks :/ i hope u have fun tnt and land safely!! will u still come tnt or r u gna stay at the dorms?

ur crazy i need to see u babe ofc ill be home ill jst be late

ok!!! ill be waiting <3

And with that dinner was put back in the fridge, candles were blown out, love confessions burned on your tongue, and tears were falling as you showered. 

You knew it wasn't his fault, he didn't even know. But it still hurt. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

He felt so bad.

All he wanted to do was come home and be in your arms, and yet the flight got delayed so he’d be back at around 9pm and had a dinner/team meeting/debrief as soon as he landed. Could it not wait till tomorrow?

He knew you were waiting for him, wanting to spend a day with him before the both of you are sprung back to work.

But life is unfair is it not?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It was around 1am when chan unlocked the front door of your(shared) apartment. 

The house was quiet, but he could hear Lorelei Gilmore talking about Chilton and whatnot.

“Ynnie, I’m home,” he whispered into the still apartment.

Walking into the kitchen, he noticed the food you’d prepared, and it made his heart swell. The jjajangmyeon, perfectly plated and covered with plastic wrap to keep it warm, the careful presentation that showed how much thought you’d put into making his favorite meal. You even remembered to set out his favorite pair of chopsticks—the ones you’d bought together during a trip to Japan.

The effort, the care, the love you’d put into this simple act of cooking for him—despite the long hours and despite knowing he might not even make it home in time to enjoy it—it all hit him like a wave. You still did these things for him, even when he felt he didn’t deserve it.

He could almost see you in the kitchen, humming softly to yourself as you cooked, imagining the smile on your face when you thought about how happy he’d be to come home to a meal made by you. The image was so vivid, so tender, that it made his chest tighten with emotion. He swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears at bay, but it was impossible not to feel overwhelmed by the depth of your love and how much he missed these moments with you.

He walked out of the kitchen before the tears could spill, hoping to pull himself together, but then he saw you on the couch.

You were wearing his shirt, the one that was a little too big on you but somehow looked perfect, hanging off your frame in that effortlessly beautiful way only you could manage. The fuzzy white blanket was wrapped snugly around you, keeping you warm as you slept. Your mouth was slightly agape, soft snores leaving your lips, and your hair was slightly tousled, as if you’d fallen asleep waiting for him.

He knew you’d tried to wait for him, and he’d never felt so guilty.

You never complained about the hours he worked, you never argued when he said “10 more minutes” at the studio—you were so good to him.

And yet he felt he treated you like crap.

And that realization only made him let out a choked sob.

He sank to his knees beside the couch, his hand reaching out to touch your face gently. You stirred slightly but didn’t wake up. Chan watched you sleep, his heart heavy with guilt and love. He wished he could turn back time, be there for you more, show you how much you meant to him.

He sat there for a while, just watching you sleep. The room was dim, the only light coming from the TV playing Gilmore Girls on low volume. The soft glow cast shadows on the walls, creating a peaceful, almost magical atmosphere. Chan took a deep breath, trying to steady his emotions. He knew he needed to be strong for you, to make things right. To treat you better.

Eventually, he got up and went to the bedroom. He changed into comfortable clothes and grabbed a spare blanket. He returned to the living room, covering you with the extra blanket before settling down on the floor next to the couch. He didn’t want to disturb you by trying to fit on the couch with you, but he wanted to be close.

As he layed there, he thought about all the times he’d missed, all the moments he should have been there for. He remembered the first time he met you, how your smile had lit up the room. He thought about all the little things you did for him, the way you always made him feel loved even when he was far away.

He made a silent promise to himself that he would do better. He would make more time for you, show you how much he loved you. He wouldn’t let his career come between you two anymore. He closed his eyes, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day, that he could start making things right.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Morning came, and you woke up to the smell of coffee. You blinked a few times, realizing you were still on the couch. The TV was off, and the apartment was filled with the soft morning light. You sat up, stretching and rubbing your eyes.

That’s when you saw Chan in the kitchen, making breakfast. He looked up and smiled when he saw you awake.

“Good morning, ynnie” he said softly.

“Hiii channie, good morning. How was the flight” you replied, your voice still groggy from sleep.

He walked over to you, holding a cup of coffee. “It was ok. made you some coffee.”

You took the cup from him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. “Thank you.”

He sat down next to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and guilt. “I’m sorry about last night. I really wanted to be here with you.”

You shook your head, placing a hand on his. “It’s okay, it wasn't your fault. I know you’re busy. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I wish i was here more, with you. I want to be here for you more.”

You smiled, tears forming in your eyes. “I’d like that.”

He leaned in, kissing you softly. a kiss filled with love and promise, a vow to be better. You kissed him back, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but you were willing to work through it together.

The two of you spent the morning talking, about anything and everything. It felt like you both were in your own bubble, just the two of you without any distractions. Chan told you about his tour, the places he’d seen, the experiences he’d had. You told him about your days, the little things that made you smile, the moments you wished he’d been there for.

As the day went on, you realized how much you’d missed these moments. The simple act of being together, sharing your lives. It was something you never wanted to take for granted again. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Over the next few weeks, things began to change. Chan made a conscious effort to be more present, to spend more time with you. He still had his responsibilities, his career, but he found a balance. He made sure to call you every day, even if it was just for a few minutes. He made time for date nights, for weekends away, for the little things that made your relationship special.

You could see the difference in him, the way he looked at you, the way he made you feel. The love was always there, but now it was more tangible, more real. You felt closer to him than ever before, and it made you realize how strong your love was.

as you were both sitting on the couch together, watching a movie, Chan turned to you, his eyes filled with emotion.

“Ynnie you know i love you right? you mean the world to me. Youre like my sunlight”

You smiled, your heart swelling with love. “I love you too, Channie, so much. With you I can do anything, were meant to be”

He pulled you into his arms, holding you close. “Always,” he whispered.

And in that moment, you knew that no matter what challenges came your way, you would face them together. Your love was strong, and it would endure.

fin.

masterlist | requests

[yanderefarm]

Can I asked for Emil's hand in marriage oh wait we already have that reaction to you wanting a divorce, or realization that you had fallen out of love with him but is only staying to keep your family safe (like you try to keep up the loving but he can tell)

I think maybe he'll try to isolate you so you can only look at him and will warm up to him again?

Or to be more cruel, tell him you fell in love with someone else...

cw;; angst, hurt no comfort,

let's make emil sad as a treat.not really the yandere aspect i think you were expecting. he definitely does keep you locked on the grounds without much freedom but he can't make himself take away whatever happiness you can find.

still male reader he calls u queen bc ur his husband.

he truly shouldn't have been surprised when you fell in love with someone else. he knew in his heart you only stayed with him because of your family but all the time you spent by his side had let him get comfortable. oh he was so comfortable with you, he let you closer to him than even his own mother had been. he let someone other than her into his heart for the first time in 20 years and now you were throwing him away. it hurt. it hurt more than the worst injury he had sustained. it hurt all the more that he couldn't be angry with you. he knew he could threaten your family again, force you to love him again but he knew that would just make you hate him.

"i can allow you a concubine however you must remain married to me. if you take a female concubine and she gets pregnant the baby will become my heir. you must continue your duties as queen and your concubine will not be permitted to attend important royal events. are these terms to your liking?"

"... i almost expected you to be more emotional about this. but i suppose we were both just playing our parts in the end, huh?"

"... that's correct. any romance you might have gleamed from our relationship was just part of the farce."

"hah.. i knew you didn't have a heart. can we add the addendum that i won't be required to share a room with you anymore? I'd like to move into the queen's palace."

the pen in his hand snapped spilling ink all over the new contract you had been drafting together.

"ugh emil please don't go flying off the handle. i just want to try to quietly live my life with him.. it won't get in the way of my duties."

you talk to him so casually, if anyone else had talked like that to him they would have lost their tongue. why don't you realize how much he loves you? maybe you do, maybe you find his love disgusting. he knows he's not worth loving, his own mother abandoned him to die. it takes all his will to stay calm as he crumples up the ruined parchment and throws it away. he pulls out a fresh sheet of paper and begins writing the contract again.

"i hope you remember you're not allowed to leave the grounds without my permission. I'll be assigning you new knights as well since you'll be in a different palace."

"i suppose i shouldn't complain about the new watch dogs since you're letting me stay in the queen's palace. I'm glad you're being understanding."

"... anything my queen asks for."

he could never bring himself to say i love you, the words like acid on his tongue. this was the closest he could come to and it wasn't enough. it would never be enough.

[asuyaka]

i keep like, struggling to click the 'ask' button, BUT—i love the taking care of geto little one shot. so what about helping him with nanako and mimiko? like he just shows up at r!'s house late as hell with two little girls with him, bc he has zero clue as to how to take care of them. m!reader is pref but idc. i love ur writing btw (＾▽＾)

★ - yesyesyesyes!! 'm soo inlove with the helpin' Suguru agenda !! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

☆ - Girldad! Geto Suguru x Male Reader

♡ - off topic, but 'm love your writin' s'much!! really 'm inspiration t'keep writin stuff like this (≧◡≦) ♡

You were borderline asleep in your room after staying on the phone with Gojo for a few hours until he fell asleep.

It wasn't always like this, he could usually fall asleep on his own but that was when Geto was there with him. Now that's he's become a curse user and has turned his back on the Jujutsu world, everything has basically fallen apart.

Your sleepy eyes glance at the time, the saturated red of '12:42 AM' oozing into your pupils.

You try not to think about Geto so you can get some sleep for the first time in a few weeks. You two were... you're not really sure what your label is.

You two have talked, kissed, cuddled, and gone on dates, but Geto never actually put a label on your relationship and now he probably never will.

A sigh leaves your lips as you cuddle your pillow. Thinking of those big arms that used to wrap around you to keep you safe, or that warm chest that you couldn't help but use as pillows.

Needless to say, you missed him.

You weren't sure how long you stayed there almost on the verge of tears before there was a knock at your front door.

Yeah, you weren't going to open that because— A, you've seen enough horror flicks to know that there's a 99.9% chance that it's a serial killer behind the door, and B, it's 12 AM. You aren't stupid enough to open the door this late.

The knocking persisted. Getting heavier every second you didn't open it, and deciding you didn't want a noise complaint and realizing you were a sorcerer, you begrudgingly got up to open it.

You, surprisingly, were right. It was a serial killer.

Of all the people you thought it could be, you didn't think it would be Geto fucking Suguru outside your door.

"Geto? What are you—" You stopped yourself when you finally saw the two girls behind him.

His expression was something like fear and desperation as they clung onto his clothes, looking at you with weary eyes. "Please, [Name], I need help."

That took you for a spin. After the Star Plasma Vessel, you had to pry it out of him that he needed someone to take care of him, someone to help him, and now he's coming to you with two unknown children willingly asking for it?

Without a word you open your door wider, letting the three of them file in and take a seat on your couch.

You close the door, wiping the tiredness from your face and taking a deep sigh. Yeah, this was going to be a long night.

"What is it, Geto?" You ask, taking a seat on the opposing couch and staring at him. You hope your tone doesn't come up as too mean, you were just really— really tired.

The two girls never left his side. They have masks on, one of the girls with light brown hair, a white hoodie, and a black skirt was pressed on his left while the other with black hair, a black hoodie, and white skirt was pressed against his left, holding a small doll in her hands as well

"They're sick. I've tried everything, medicine, letting them rest, dilating their food but nothing's working." Geto's voice sounds helpless and it honestly scares you because this is the same Geto who went against the Sorcerer Killer.

The same Geto who killed a village, scared over the fact his two... daughters(?) were sick.

The thought brings a smile to your face as you squat in front of him, a soft expression on your face.

"What're your names, hm?"

The girls squeeze him tighter but you don't take offense to it. They're staring at a random man they've never seen before so they're obviously cautious.

"It's okay, he's my— my boyfriend, he's not going to hurt you." You notice the small pause in his voice but you won't speak on it. Not now at least.

The girls look at each other before looking at you. "Nanako." The blonde one says, her small finger pointing at the black-haired girl. "Mimiko. My sister."

You can see the adoring smile on Geto's face and you can't help the smile that tugs on your face. "Mind telling me how you guys feel? Any fevers?"

"My throat hurts and my nose is stuffy. My body feels hot sometimes too." Nanako says, interrupting herself with a cough. Geto shushes her softly, rubbing her back so she can get over her coughing fit with the comfort that her dad was beside her.

You get up, using the back of your hand to feel their foreheads. "Yeah, sounds like hay fever. You mind getting something to drink? Make sure it's hot, but not too hot to burn them."

Geto looks surprised. Maybe he didn't think you'd help him after the whole village incident— he's legally classified as a serial killer, and he's heard from word of mouth that he's a kill-on-sight curse user— but he gets up anyway. Nanako and Mimiko following behind like a pair of ducklings.

Rummaging through your medicine cabinet, you try and find fever and congestion medicine for kids. You have some, surprisingly, it's fresh and isn't expired somehow.

You don't even remember buying it— you don't require it as you didn't follow the 'strongest duo' pipeline of adopting children after the duo split up.

Walking back into the living room, you walk in on Geto blowing the steam off their cups, the recognizable scent of hot chocolate permeating the room.

"You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend, Geto-sama!" Nanako whisper yells, slightly wincing when she drinks her drink too early.

"He's pretty..." Mimiko's voice is so soft, it sends a pang of endearment through your heart. Is this what baby fever feels like?

You wait to hear what Geto says. It isn't eavesdropping if it's in your home, right?

"Yeah, sorry for not telling you it's just... complicated between us." Geto breathes out, kissing their heads as they continue to sip on their coacoa.

Complicated is one word for it, but you keep your thoughts to yourself. Announcing your arrival with an unnecessarily loud shutting of the cabinet.

"So how are you two doing? Feelin' any better?" You ask, placing the medicine on the table in front of them.

Nanako nods excitedly and Mimiko keeps it down. While waiting for them to finish, you decide to put on a movie. The Nightmare Before Christmas, a classic you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko watched on Halloween when you were first-years.

You catch Geto's nervous glances at you but decide not to speak on it, again. It was adult business, and his kids were around.

The girls take their medicine, it's bitter, but you're sure it'll work. They persuade their dad to letting them sleep over after realizing you have a pillow fort in your room.

You don't really know why you never take it down. Maybe it's because you're too lazy, or you like being reminded of the first place you and Geto had your first kiss, but that's a whole can of emotions you're afraid of opening.

They fall asleep holding each other's pinky. Several of your stuffed animals surround them as their bodies move at the same time rhythmically. Maybe it was twin telepathy, who knows.

Now that it was only you and Geto alone, it was... awkward to say the least.

"I'm sorry for dropping in on you like that," Geto says too afraid to look you in the eye.

"Why didn't you take them to the hospital if you didn't know what was happening?" It's a genuine question, you're sure the doctors would've noticed it was a hay fever quicker than you did.

"I'm not letting those monkeys anywhere near my daughter."

Ah, you forgot he hates non-sorcerers.

You let out a breathy laugh, flopping on the cushion next to him. "I'm your boyfriend now, hm?"

Geto blushes at that. "We never technically broke up, so..."

You smile. Even after his mild— they're not mild, they're very serious— crimes, he's still the same Geto Suguru.

The same Geto Suguru you fell in love with.

"I missed you, you know?" Your voice is barely above a whisper, it's vulnerable.

"I missed you too." His hand is on your cheek and he presses a small kiss on your lips.

You've missed this, you've missed him. His hands, that boyish smile on his face the rare times you manage to get him flustered, his smooth saccharine like voice, everything about him.

As he holds his body against yours, hands intertwined and cursed energy mixing together, you realize you never want to let him go, you don't want this to end.

You want him to stay with you until the end of time.

[koenigsbleachedshirt]

soo hiiii i saw ur requests r open for… könig….. and honestly i think ur cool sooo yep! :3

but anyway-

what r ur thoughts on König w his innocent lil wify afab reader??

like i just wanna know what u think he would do if his precious darling were just running around their shared space w nothin but his t-shirt n panties, smiling at him n kissin his cheeks n lips bc he’s “such an innocent sweetheart” WHEN IN REALITY HES THROBBING IN HIS PANTS AS WE SPEAK-

um anyway-

u don’t have to respond or anything, pook. just hope ur doing well and takin care of urself!! stay safe, love ya babe!! ::::3

Honestly, no, we NEED to talk about this!!!

It's not a full-on smut, but you can gladly come back for more babes <3

And im doing okay! Had a long day at work and all haha,, I hope you're good as well, love ya too xxx

He quietly watches from the couch as you shimmy around your apartment in such skimpy clothes. Nothing but his (way too big) shirt, and some panties. It didn't seem like you were trying to rile him up on purpose, no.... you were just being you; his cute, little spouse who he'd do absolutely anything for. And that thought alone is all you need.

You're aware that what you're wearing is provocative; not like you intended to tease your giant of a husband, really. You were just doing casual things around the house, and when you were done, you spotted him on the couch. "Love, can you help me with the plates? I can't reach the top shelf..." You ask him, avoiding eye contact since your cupboards are higher than normal ones due to König's gigantic stature.

He rises and follows quietly behind, his eyes glued to your naked legs, watching as the shirt you're wearing rides up just enough for your butt to poke out. König could feel the blood rush to his cock at the sight, moving closer and trapping you against the counter. You turn around, looking up at his face, which you so deeply adore and flash a smile.

He bends down to capture your lips in a kind of rough but passionate kiss that leaves you breathless and hot and bothered at the same time. "What are you doing?" You whine a little when he lifts you on top of the counter, slightly shivering when the cool wood makes contact with your warm legs.

"You made me so fucking hard.... walking around like you're easy... aber nur für mich, nicht wahr?" (But only for me, right?) König says, lips millimeters away from yours. The way he says it got you feeling butterflies.

"Yes, only for you." Is all you can mutter before he delves in, his kisses all tongue and teeth, and you wouldn't have it any other way. You like when he's a little rough with you. "I'm sorry for riling you up... I didn't think anything of it..."

"Oh, ich weiß, mein kleines Schätzchen. I'll teach you what you're getting yourself into for the next time." (Oh, I know my little darling) He smirks before effortlessly throwing you over his shoulder, one hand smacking your ass. Hard.

You're in for a long night, dear.

[utterlyazriel]

whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)

a/n: here she is... chappie four <3 thank u for ur patience and 1000 kudos to the anon that made a plot suggestion that i had already written lmao-- as always let me know what u think! things are heating up....

word count: just under 4k

synopsis: You return to regular training for the first time in a month. Azriel asks a favor from Rhys and finds you in a less than stellar condition when he returns to camp

CHAPTER FOUR :: FRIENDS

Velaris is a sight for sore eyes.

After nearly a month of endless white scenery, of the blinding glint of the sun against snow, paired with endless pine, the sight of a city is a reprieve in itself.

And because it’s Velaris — because it’s home — something else settles within Azriel.

A hackle that always stays on high alert finally lies down. The constant agitation of his shadows falls into a calming hush. He breathes easier.

He's back with his family and can be here to keep them safe if need be. He's back to the closest semblance of comfort he's ever known.

Where do you find comfort?

Azriel blinks a little, taken aback at the abruptness of the thought.

The lone shelter in the mountains, spaced out from the circle of buildings, every bit representing your isolation from the people of the camp — that was your home.

Where you resided and took solace from the world in, the place you felt safest. But... it's no place of comfort. It's a crutch. A necessary support. Somehow, Azriel has no doubt that if you could survive out in the snow, burrowed amidst the elements, you would, if only to have one less thing to maintain.

You've never even seen a city before, he thinks. All you know is the mountains.

Suddenly, eyes cast across the breathtaking beauty of Velaris, the hum of the Sidra carving its way through his beloved home, the buzz of people on the streets, Azriel recalls the very time he lay eyes on it himself.

It never stops being breathtaking. That much is true, but then again, there was no comparison to the first time.

The warm feeling that had grown in his chest. The way something he hadn't known ever existed within him had unfurled, like a flower blooming in the sun. Something Azriel now knows to be hope.

He hadn't known a place this beautiful could exist.

Wouldn't have been able to dream it up when all he had known for so, so long was darkness and shadow.

Even in the time after the cage, all there was to see was the white of winter and the cold bite of the harsh mountains. He learned how blood looked melting into the snow, how to sleep with one eye open, and all the different shades of cruelty.

Azriel remembers being unable to comprehend the sight, the stumble in his heart at the indisputable proof before him. That despite what had been drilled into him by his father, his brothers, by every Illyrian warrior who punched down on bastards, there was a place where peace reigned above all.

People who lived in harmony. Where Art and music are considered a treasure alongside other skills, each equally important. And Azriel belonged there, as much as any of them.

It had been one thing to walk through the city, to marvel at every cobblestone, at the trims lining each and every window, to have people regard him with such a polite and casual manner — not a second glance at his wings or his hands.

It had been something else entirely to fly over it as night fell.

Mountain ridges illuminated by his most constant friend, the rising moon, watching the moonlight spill over the dark red rock of the mountain and paint it ever softer. Sweet ocean air and the very perfume of the city intertwined within the current as he soared above it, mighty wings beating.

Azriel could remember that first day and night in Velaris vividly, like an unforgettable dream. How easy it had been to fall in love with it, to let its arms unfurl and to allow himself to make a home within them.

Looking out across it now, as Faelights begin to twinkle and blink to life as the night creeps in, all Azriel can think of is how much he wants that for you.

To bring you here. To have both of you fly above the city and wander down the streets aimlessly, to show you that there were places far kinder in this world than all you had known before.

He yearns for you to have the same dawning realisation he did—that so much more existed outside of those gods forsaken mountains.

Azriel knows you're a very guarded male. You have more than enough reasons to be. He's already pushed a thousand boundaries you have and each time you let him into your sanctuary in the mountains is a sign of enormous trust.

Maybe for that reason, Azriel wants to be the first to extend that kindness to you.

A twinge in his chest sings a different, golden answer.

Azriel ignores it and steals one more look out at his home, swallowing down how all logic seems to be pointing to the same thing, time and time again.

He finds the High Lord in his study, papers stacked high on his desk that have only grown higher in Azriel's absence. His dark hair is tousled in a way that means he's been running his hand through it too much.

Azriel lifts the shadows from beneath his feet as he enters, letting the other hear the sound of his soft footsteps. Rhys looks up at the new arrival. Despite his tired appearance, it does nothing to dim the grin that overtakes his lips at the sight of his brother.

"My, my, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

Azriel grins back, stepping forward Rhys pushes back from his desk and stands. His usual wings have been hidden away through his magic and Azriel notices their absence when he pulls him into a brief hug. Rhys lingers close, his violet eyes raking over his friend.

"Not bad to see you either."

"You flatter me." Rhys purrs, his voice all buttery and smooth. "You've got new eyebags. Overworking yourself as usual, are we Az?"

"I presume you make such lovely comments about Feyre too?"

"And risk her wrath?" Rhys smiles, eyes glittering at the mention of his mate. "Never."

Azriel rolls his eyes, letting his obvious endearment at his brother's happiness show. They truly are a perfect pair.

He crosses his arms across his broad chest tightly, if only to hide the fleeting flicker of wanting the spools tight in his chest. A ribbon of envy, woven between his ribs.

If Rhys notices, he doesn't comment. Instead, he says, "Usually, you're itching to escape the mountains but not this time I see."

He pauses, eyeing up the Shadowsinger to see what response it'll give. Azriel yields no comment back. Expecting this, Rhys smiles.

"Either way, you'll be happy to hear that Cassian has returned from his time off and is ready to resume his usual duties."

Azriel stills at the words.

He knew that Cassian would at one point return to his usual positions and that Azriel himself, would return to his spymaster post. But it's come sooner than expected. Perhaps, time with you has been passing far quicker than Azriel thought.

"I found the cause of the rumours."

"Yes, I assumed you had," Rhys says, wandering back around the deck to slump into his chair. He leans one arm against the armrest, his knuckles against his temple.

"I also assumed that you spent all that time dealing with it. Much of a problem?"

Azriel considers his words carefully. The trust he's managed to garner with you is fragile, though he knows his friend would not severe it or interfere if he asked.

Another part of him knows it's unusual behavior of him, to offer his skills so willingly to a stranger. But, well, you're not exactly a stranger anymore.

"There's a male.” Azriel begins, choosing his words carefully. “A bastard, the one causing all the stir-ups. He feeds the other bastards when he can. It's what had Lord Mylind kicking a fuss."

Rhys curses lightly at the realisation of just which camp they are dealing with.

"He's learning to make healing tonics," Azriel continues, noting how Rhys' head straightens up a fraction. Interested. "In hopes of slipping them to freshly clipped females. To see if it can reverse the damage."

Rhys sits back in his chair completely, his hand brushing over his mouth in deep contemplation. For a moment, he says nothing.

"I suppose I don't need to ask if there's been any female training then."

Azriel feels himself glower instinctively, his wings hiking up an inch higher without meaning to. He thinks of Lord Mylind and the conversation he had on the first day in their camp. The sheer display of male arrogance, snarling, and threatening violence outright.

"No.”

Rhys curses again, his eyes crushing closed. He seems to filter through a pained reaction, his face contorting until it lands on a tired resignation.

“The camp of Exordor made very good on a bargain struck during a very hard time.” Rhys grits the words out.

Something dangerous flashes in his eyes at the mention of the deal that had turned sour. A cold ripple of night shudders through the room.

No amount of soldiers supplied during the war had been worth the suffering that camp Exodor alone produced— or continues to produce if the whispers that came out of there held an inkling of truth.

It’s a rotten place, tucked deep in the mountains, and some of the worst brutes Rhys has ever had the displeasure of meeting were born in the bowels of that place.

“It doesn’t lift for another 50 years." Rhys sighs, his voice wavering with a hint of shame. "I can’t touch them without slaughtering them all— innocent or not.”

Azriel didn’t say anything for a moment. This information is not new. He watches as Rhys digests his silence, leaning back in his chair as the wheels spin in his head, dizzyingly fast.

For the second time, Rhys' brows jump.

“You’re helping him.”

Not a question.

Azriel nods.

"You don't want Cassian to take back over."

"No," Azriel murmurs. "Not yet. The male is... He's guarded. Isolated. It has taken time to earn his trust. I believe in what he wants to do and I believe he has what it takes to achieve it.”

He thinks of the quiet evenings within your shelter, your patience as you taught Azriel what you could — how you took every piece of information from him on the chin, not one complaint of ever tiring. He thinks of the heaving in his chest, the tug on his heart.

"I ask that you let me see this out." Azriel finishes, his shoulders rolling back as he stands tall. Let Rhys understand how this had become more than just a mission to him; it’s a personal calling, one he must answer, one that he needs to see out to the end.

Rhys surveys him intensely, unblinking for a moment. Then something devious crosses his face, catching in a smile.

"That's not the only thing you want to ask me, is it?"

Azriel looks to the ground, suddenly bashful. This would be entirely too revealing of the closeness he felt, to ask this, to offer this. He asks anyway.

"I wish, with your permission, to take Heartstriker." Azriel's voice rumbles lowly. He forces his eyes back up, meeting Rhys' strong gaze. "To gift to him."

Something dips into Rhys' smile, threatening a smirk and for that reason alone, Azriel feels his ears tinge hotly. His face remains calm, however, giving nothing away.

"Heartstriker? As a gift?" Rhys repeats, with a sly smile. "Pray tell Brother, when's the wedding? Since when have you ever been known for gift giving, let alone something as dear to you, such as a sword? I might just have to meet this bastard."

Azriel’s ears only get hotter, betraying him. He prays it doesn't show on his face, though he's sure the increased swirlings of his shadows give him away. And Rhys’ infallible ability to read his flustering each and every time.

"Is that permission?"

Rhys, seemingly realising he won't be getting any juicy details, quits tormenting his brother with a flourish of his hand. He leans back in his chair relaxed, a softness creeping into his expression.

"It's been yours to take all these years, Az." Rhys finally lands on. "You did earn it, after all."

—

The shelter looks bigger without him here.

Betrayingly, it’s the first thought you have when the door swings open, letting you into your nest of safety. You heave in a breath that rattles loudly and it gets swept up in the foul whistle of the Mother's Kiss.

On your side, your blood-soaked hand clutches your abdomen tightly. Pain spiderwebs up your body, fraying every nerve with a burning agony.

Every step feels loud and clumsy.

You cough as softly as you can, yet still feel the warmth of blood on your lips. The familiar metallic tang overwhelms your mouth.

You must be dripping blood behind you, dragging a slushy mess of crimson snow in on your boots. Fuck, what are you doing again? Your head throbs. They must've knocked your head hard this time if you're losing focus this quickly.

The Mother's Kiss howls fiercely, a reminder of the cruelty outside your little haven.

Right. You remember you need to close the door— and you shove the deadbolt closed along with it. If your ribs were aching a little less, you would reach up and do up the second deadbolt too, at the top of the door. You try to anyway.

Your arm gets mid-way up before you freeze, pain lashing every nerve in your midriff, enough to make you wince loudly. The bindings on your chest aren't helping. For a moment, dark spots dance before vision as you quickly tuck your arm back down, moving too quick.

Fuck. Fuck. One deadbolt will have to do.

It feels as if the whole world lurches when you take your next step, blurring like thick taffy for a split second. You stumble towards your bed and realise as you sink onto your knees on the edge of it, you need to dress your wounds.

Another bloody cough. Has your nose stopped bleeding yet? It's impossible to tell between each and every other ache.

What were you doing again?

Without meaning to, you begin to slump over, nearly lying down in your bed.

Dressings! That's right, you need to make sure the wound on your side isn't still bleeding, need to make sure it's clean when it finally begins to clot, need to...

Need to... what did you need to do?

That's right— you need to sleep.

Your head crumples against the pillow like a dead-weight as you collapse against it, exhausted. As your consciousness wanes, you cough again, a splatter of red spraying your pillow.

Not good, you think absentmindedly. Eyes slipping shut, you miss the familiar figure out the window, approaching through the storm.

—

You're wincing before you even realise you're awake.

Crackling. Logs spitting out little snaps fill the air, the quiet roar of a hearty fire; the first things you hear when you come too, far too slowly for your own liking. Your left ears hum loudly in discomfort— no doubt a result of one of the harsh hooks you had caught in the face earlier today.

Next, you smell something... clean?

Your tongue comes out gingerly, licking your cracked lips and you realise quite suddenly, there's an absence of blood on them. The thought slams into you at the same time you realise; you hadn't been able to stay awake for long enough to even light a fire.

Panic reaches through your ribs and grips your heart, tight, and you sit up without thinking.

Pain follows you closely like a lazy afterthought that slams into you, soaking into your body meanly and making you regret moving so fast. Your head swims heavily, throbbing dully.

A pained noise threatens to leave your lips and you force it down. Then force your head up, eyes blinking rapidly, trying to assess the threat, trying to do something.

Panic squeezes your heart painfully again when your hazy vision clears just enough to reveal the shape of a body before you— your blood chilling in your veins as you realise there's somebody else in here with you.

The whimper you held back before slips out before you can help it, your body squirming backward without thought. Your breaths comes out in sharp pants, bursts of pain accompanying each one, and right as you hit the wall, your vision focuses.

Your lungs empty in relief.

It's Azriel before you, on his knees, his scarred hands are held out in front of him.

They aren't touching you, just hovering, his palms up to indicate he means no harm. His wings are tucked back, hunched down to be smaller than usual, and all around him, his shadows whirl about animatedly.

There's an expression on his face you've never seen before.

"—on't move," He's saying, his low voice finally registering in your ringing ears. His hazel eyes are fixed on your face, darting about quickly. "You'll re-open your wounds."

He's talking about your wounds but for some gods forsaken reason, all you can think is how surprised you are that he came back.

The thought loops endlessly, like a holy mantra —he came back, he came back, he came back— and you realise that you were both terrified and also sure that he wouldn't be coming back at all.

That somehow, somewhere along his trip back to his home, he would have realised you weren't anything worth coming back for.

"Azriel?" You wheeze.

Just to check—you have to check.

Maybe he's a mirage. He certainly would be the kindest mirage you can think of.

You think you see something soften on his face, his wings dropping an inch lower behind him. His hands are still held out before you, still waiting. He's endlessly patient. His shadows seem to slow a bit, less frenzied.

"Yeah," He murmurs gently in response. His hazel eyes burn as they take in the sight of you again. "They got you pretty messed up. huh?”

You're sitting on your bed still, you realise. Blinking slow, you take an inhale, trying to put together how he got here— your eyes fly to the door. It's locked, this time with both deadbolts secured.

Azriel follows your gaze, turning his head slightly. "They're a good precaution. Don't be dissuaded that the spymaster of this court managed to get past them."

You wheeze again, some delirious laugh that gets cut off when pain splinters through your side. You groan lowly, unable to hold it in and your hand creeps slowly to paw at your side.

Faintly, you can feel the scrape of bandages on your skin, covering the wound, and sigh in relief. It makes your diaphragm sink down, the bindings around your chest shifting and that sends a frantic bolt of alarm through you once more.

“You—” The word scratches out your throat and you cough weakly. Every instinct starts to light back up, hackles rising— there has never been someone else around when you're too weak to defend yourself. It takes a moment with eyes closed and measured breaths to lean into your trust. You trust him, you know you do.

“You... patched me up?”

The question comes out wary and pointed despite your efforts. Though that might just be the gravel in your throat from having your face beaten in.

You don’t know how to covertly ask if he saw— if, that when he pushed your bloody shirt up to nurse the slash in your side, he noticed the gauze around your ribs.

It's an alien and terrifying thought, Azriel finding out. A worry deep in the marrow of your bones warbles in response, a thousand hairs standing up on end at the possibility.

How a revelation of that magnitude could sever the first trust you've had in years.

How it could lose... the first friend you've ever truly had.

A string of nausea tugs in your throat, bile threatening, and you have to swallow it down with the crippling fear that's been thrust into your system.

This is how it goes. The intrinsic balance of the world —to be gifted closeness and friendship, is to submit to the possibility of losing it.

Back against the wall, it settles into you very starkly, a thought sharp and clear; you do not want to lose him in any way.

Some part of you thinks he must see you as some kind of starving mutt, growing far too attached to the first hand that feeds it. But looking at him now, his shadowed face and kind expression, the depth of his eyes... you're convinced he sees something more to you.

And you want him to, desperately.

In a way you can't comprehend, can't begin to understand— how can you be so tied to someone you've known for so little? How can it hurt so much to be parted from him when you're barely friends? When he doesn't even know who you truly are.

Perhaps, you think, this is what all friends are like. You wouldn't know, you haven't had any before.

Azriel nods mutely, a strand of his dark hair falling over his forehead. He seems to be considering his words carefully and you take the moment to steal a few deep breaths.

When he speaks, his voice is softer than you’ve ever heard. "I understand that might be... crossing a line. But—" A waver in his voice. "— but I could smell the blood from out in the storm."

There's something left unsaid in his sentence, his tone clipped. Whatever it is, you're far too tired to discern it. Your body, overwhelmed with tension, abruptly loosens as the perceived threat of danger seeps away. It drains you, a sudden wave of tiredness cresting upon you— because you know, undoubtedly, you're safe now.

Not quite meaning to but unable to stop yourself, you sink down and fall limply against your bed. Your wing curls over you defensively, a blanket and shield all in one.

Azriel's hands finally lower, resting gently atop his thick thighs. His shadows dim their chaotic activity, almost lazy with how they whirl about his neck and shoulders. You wonder absentmindedly what they feel like against his skin.

Looking back at his face, you find his eyes haven't broken their watchful gaze on you— intense enough to stir up an unfamiliar warmth within your chest. You avoid it and his eyes, your tired eyes catch sight of something behind him.

"You brought...?" You can't quite finish your sentence, a vicious shiver wracking your frame, making you curl up closer. Tiredness chases it, the threat of sleep looming closer and closer.

Your eyes close without meaning. In the darkness, Azriel's voice swims before you, muted and far away.

"You have to get better before I can give it to you." His voice has dropped to a whisper. It makes your lips twitch in an attempt of a smile. It's funny, hearing a legendary Illyrian warrior like him whispering.

"Okay," You might say back— though you're not sure if it sounds like a word at all.

It doesn't matter. You're already asleep.

[NEXT PART: CONFIDANTS]

—

tags <3

@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco @iamjimintrash @maeandering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee @viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13 @bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa @fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5

[aventurineswife]

Hey !!! How are you?? I love what you write so much so ure so talentedd !!

Also could u do an aventurine x reader where like they started dating not long ago and like aventurine notices self harm marks on reader’s arms ?? (If ure comfortable w/ that ofc)

“You Drew Stars Over My Scars”

Summary: In the early stages of your relationship, Aventurine notices scars on your arm. With quiet compassion and understanding, he addresses it gently, offering his support without judgment. As you share a vulnerable moment, he reassures you that he’s there for you, bringing lightheartedness and warmth to ease the conversation.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Emotional Support, Fluff and Angst, Healing.

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, References to past emotional struggles

A/N: HELLO!!! I'm doing alright and I hope you are doing alright as well!! Thank you for appreciating my work! I put my best effort into writing each character as accurately as possible, even while balancing my personal life, so your support means a lot to me! 🤭💖🫶 Don’t worry about your request—I’m comfortable with it. But for anyone struggling with something similar, please reach out to someone you trust completely. It may not seem like much, but sharing is better than keeping everything to yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here! Don’t hesitate, and remember to love yourself more! ❤️

It was one of those rare, quiet evenings. Aventurine had cleared his typically packed schedule, something he was only too willing to do since the two of you had started dating. After a whirlwind start, tonight felt like a pause – a chance for him to simply be with you, away from the risks and wagers that often defined his world.

You sat beside him on the couch, your arm resting casually against his. Aventurine noticed a faint change in your body language – a hint of self-consciousness, a slight turn of your wrist. The faint movement caught his eye, and he saw them – the small, faded scars along your arm.

He glanced up, meeting your eyes with a gentle look, saying nothing at first, allowing you the space to choose whether to share or to stay silent. But his hand reached out, fingers brushing along your forearm. The gesture was soft, free of judgment or expectation, just a comforting presence.

"Can I ask about these?" Aventurine asked softly, his tone inviting but unintrusive.

You hesitated, not used to this level of openness, especially when it came to scars from a part of your past you were still trying to make peace with. You shifted slightly, averting your gaze, but Aventurine’s hand gently anchored you there, his thumb brushing softly over your wrist. His eyes, usually so full of confidence, held only a quiet, calming sincerity.

“It was… it’s something I went through,” you whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. “It’s… something I still struggle with, sometimes.”

Aventurine listened, his hand never leaving yours, his gentle touch reminding you that he was there, that he was listening and would wait as long as you needed to feel safe in sharing. After a beat, he spoke, his voice thoughtful and warm.

“You know,” he began softly, “I can’t pretend to know exactly what you’ve felt, what led you here. But… I do know about hiding things that hurt. I’ve got my own scars – maybe not the kind you can see,” he added, his smile faint but real, “but they’re there.”

The weight of his words settled around you, and you felt something shift – a wall you’d kept up out of habit, slowly lowering. You exhaled, feeling a bit of the tension release, as though you were finally in a space where you didn’t have to hide this part of yourself.

He leaned closer, his hand now holding yours firmly but gently, grounding you in the moment. "I'm here with you, okay? Whatever you’re going through, I want you to know it doesn’t make me see you any differently. You’re… important to me." The sincerity in his voice was unmistakable, and it softened something deep within you.

“Thank you.” you said quietly, squeezing his hand back.

Aventurine tilted his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “How about this – every time you feel like you’re slipping, like things get too much, you let me know? We can talk, or… not talk,” he said, a hint of his usual humor breaking through, “or we can find some ridiculous way to distract ourselves. I’ve got these mooncake cats I haven’t introduced you to yet.”

That earned a soft laugh from you, breaking the lingering tension in the room. He caught the sound, grinning as he pulled his phone out and showed you a photo of his silly, mooncake-shaped cats. He held it up with a playful smirk.

“These little guys reminds me every day not to take life too seriously. So, any time you need them, They're just a text away.” he added with a wink.

The lightheartedness lifted the weight from your heart, and you looked at Aventurine, grateful for his presence, his understanding, and his unspoken promise to be there, both in laughter and in the moments that were hard.

And as he pulled you into a gentle embrace, you felt it – the quiet assurance that, whatever scars you both carried, you didn’t have to bear them alone anymore.

[b1mbodoll]

i am so taerae fat cock enthusiast and i cant stop thinking about taerae stretching you around his cock when youre sleeping beside him 😵‍💫 you already said he wouldn't fit bcs hes so big so you didnt let him fuck you but youre so cute n innocent he cant help pulling your panties to the side and making it fit </3 he would quite literally split you in half fucking you so so good (๑>◡<๑) he would be so deep inside you too! all u can do is lay there and cry! but dont worry he'll press sweet sweet kisses on your face when he's finished emptying his cum in you <3 hopefully you dont get pregnant! youre not on the pill ♡♡♡♡♡

from 🎀 anonie!

also how have you been? i hope todays been treating you well! i caught covid so TT i dont know how active ill be but take care of yourself and be hydrated baby! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

pairings: kim taerae x f! reader

warnings: virgin killer taerae + noncon + blood + anal + gaping + creampies + spit

💌: hi sweetpea im so sorry for the late reply again T_T but thank u for this, im crying !! also i know ur feelin’ better n not sick anymore so stay safe and healthy my love !!! i miss u </3

“fuck this pussy’s so tight,” taerae whispers, trying to bully his thick length into your cunt.

it’s always a struggle working his dick into virgin holes but it’s so worth it when he succeeds, pushing through your hymen and watching the blood leak down his girthy dick. the feeling of your tight walls without a condom in the way making taerae fuck into you harshly, forcing the rest of his length inside of you.

“taerae s-stop!” your voice is strained, pain coursing through you at the intrusion. “’s too big! pull it out please!” your cries do nothing but spur him on, grinding his hips experimentally.

“don’t worry, princess. i’ll make it fit” he grunts, tangling his fingers in your hair and forcing your cheek into the bed as he fucks away your virginity, slick sounds caused by a mixture of your arousal and blood filling the room.

“hurts! it hurts,” you cry, “please stop.” despite your complaints you clench around him so tight and it’s almost like your sweet cunt doesn’t wanna part with his cock, making him grin wickedly.

“you keep sayin’ it hurts but you’re so wet, baby” he teases, pulling out until just the tip is inside of you before thrusting forward quickly, making your breath hitch. “you like the pain, don’t you?” taerae’s so fucking mean it makes you sob pitifully, almost making him ease up.

once you get used to the feeling of his cock punching your cervix you can’t help but moan at the feeling and your sounds don’t go unnoticed by him, his eyes locked on your cunt sucking him in nicely.

“‘m gonna cum!” you exclaim, squeezing your eyes shut because the pleasure is so overwhelming and you can’t stop yourself from meeting his thrusts, high pitched mewls escaping you every now and then.

one of taerae’s hands finds your waist, fingers digging into your soft skin as he chases his release, slamming his hips into yours.

“please, please, please.” you beg, pussy spasming around him when your orgasm hits, tight cunt milking him for all he’s worth, warm cum coating your walls as he empties his balls deep inside your little cunt.

“you’re sick for cumming on my cock after all that cryin’” he sneers, pulling out and using his hands to spread your hole, watching his cum drip out of you. he’s obsessed with how you shamelessy present for him, back arching as he toys with your hole, drawing a sigh of relief from you when he uses two digits to fuck his cum back inside of you.

“aw sweetheart.” coos taerae, “you didn’t think we were done, did you?” his voice is laced with faux sympathy as you try to collect yourself. your brows furrow in confusion at his words, “huh?”

he curls his fingers inside your cunt, cum leaking down his wrist. “finally get the chance t’fuck you ‘n you think ‘m stoppin’ after one round?” his laugh makes you feel dumb, as if you were supposed to know he was going to continue violating your holes.

taerae fists his length with his cum covered hand, the tip prodding at the tight rim of your ass making you jolt. “please don’t!” you shudder, “anything but that, please.” he pushes the head in, groaning deeply because you’re so tight and spits on your hole, watching the saliva trickle between your asscheeks.

“shut the fuck up and take it.” his teeth are clenched, trying not to cum instantly when he pushes in to the hilt. “such a good cumdump f’r me, can’t believe you’ve never been fucked before.” the stretch burns and all you can do is take what he gives you, nearly screaming as you cum just from having your virgin ass fucked by his fat cock.