#i hope you like this new au and that you read all the headcanons hahahaha

[yeojaa]

( ROSERAIE. )

What you had - so brilliant and beautiful and bright it was almost impossible to look at head-on - was what was tearing you two apart.  It was your love that would be your demise.  

pairing.  jjk x f!reader.

genre + rating.   my take on a hanahaki!au.  pretty heavy on the angst.  general.

tags / warnings.  mention of minor character death, breaking up, soulmates, angst, unrequited love, sick character (hanahaki), bittersweet, non-idol.

wc.  3.2k

beta reader(s).  my forever queens, @hobi-gif​ @snackhobi​!  you both bring such hope and joy (hahahaha) to my life!!!  and of course, the loveliest angels @joheun-saram​, @pars-ley​, and @ditttiii​ for reading through and giving me excellent feedback!

author note.  this is a part of @goldenclosetnetwork​‘s 23 | jungkook’s birthday project.  it’s my first time writing a hanahaki au so...  i have a lot of headcanons for it but i’m not sure whether it all came across in the story.  😰  eep.  anyway, please enjoy and feel free to leave any feedback.  i would love and appreciate it!  most importantly:  happy birthday, kook!  💖

Your parents were a young match.  Together from the tender age of eleven, they’d shared pieces of themselves readily, trading secrets in tree houses and blanket forts.  Nothing was held back - a childhood crush brought to life by playful ribbing and sugar-coated snacks.  Where your mother went, so did your father;  she was his light as much as he was her shadow.  Two halves of a destined whole, earnest and pure.  Friends first.  

It made perfect sense when they shared their dreams - the same one they’d had since they could remember - and it was identical:  swimming in the ocean with a faceless friend, families on their respective four and three-week long road trips.  They’d recognised each other immediately, felt the click the moment they stepped off the camper van.  Your father had called it cooties;  your mother said butterflies.

It didn’t matter that they’d never seen each other’s faces until that moment.  There was the spark.  Recognition.  The rest was history. 

Jungkook’s parents have been soulmates since the early 2000s.  His father had lost his wife - his first soulmate - exactly one year prior to their meeting.  He didn’t have his recurring dream until a fortnight before he met his wife.  Hadn’t expected it, either.  He’d been talking about his day in his local support group (it never got easier, he’d discovered) and he’d mentioned it in passing, glossing over the details of the vivid new pictures painted against his eyelids.  His second wife - his second chance - had attended after losing her son.  A complete chance.  Serendipitous. 

It wasn’t always simple, though.  The heartbreaking endings came just as often as the happy.  

There were people who lost their soulmates before even meeting them.  They’d never know they’d lost their first one until the next dream came - if it came.  If they were lucky enough.  

There were message boards and dating sites.  Places people stripped themselves bare and spilt their secrets to the world.  Desperate for love, they detailed their dreams and hoped that their other half was somewhere out there, reading those same words.  

Some, though, never found their special someone.  Life came at you fast and from all directions - or it never came at all, caught somewhere across the globe in the form of someone you’d never meet.  Those were the most painful circumstances, as if fate was cheating the system.  Here’s a love you know you have, but that you’ll never experience.  It was terribly cruel. 

(But when was life ever fair?)

There were stories about those that never found their puzzle piece and how it felt, whether it hurt.  Most said it was a quiet ache, something you never really noticed until you thought too closely about it, like a scar that had healed over or a loved one gone a long time.  Painful in an explicable way and only - luckily, miserably - softened by ignorance. 

Others spoke about it like death, missing an integral part of themselves.  It played a large part of their life, shaping and changing them with each passing day.  They couldn’t fully live without their person, even if they’d never met them.  It was simply the principal of the matter. 

You’d never quite existed in either camp.  You’d always wanted to find love but you hadn’t rushed it.  You figured you’d meet your happily ever after at some point.  Maybe at your work - caught between the shelves or returning an overdue book - or maybe out with your dog, walking the same route you took every day.  They’d show up one day.  You were sure of it. 

Love had a way of surrounding you. 

Your best friends - because of course the two of them would fall for each other (it was nauseating) - had found each other young too, on the grounds of the elementary school you all played on.  They’d been bonded since the beginning, secrets exchanged in art class and atop monkey bars.  You’d cheered them on the whole way, giddy in a way you couldn’t describe.  Being around it  felt like standing beneath the sun, scorching heat warming you all the way to the core.  It didn’t matter that you didn’t have it for yourself (yet). 

They’d come.  Eventually.  You felt it in your bones and later, you’d learn, in your shins.

He’d come around the corner fast as a bullet, headphones in and hood pulled over his head.  You’d barely have time to avoid him, poor coordination lending itself to disaster when only one of your feet would make it out of his path of destruction.  

BANG!  

It was something right out of a campy romance novel.  Guy goes jogging, runs headlong into his dearly beloved and nearly gives her a concussion.  He feels bad for her scraped knees and falls in love with her dog.  His morning runs become theirs and six weeks later, over a late night bite of contrasting gelato flavours - green tea for him, bubble gum for her - they fit the pieces together.

Jungkook’s the faceless boy you’d always dreamt of, one hand on the wheel, the other resting easily on your thigh.  He was the one with the slick black AppleWatch and long fingers.  You’d never imagined he’d be covered in ink, immaculate designs running the length of his forearm all the way back and across his shoulders.  In fact, you’d never thought about tattoos at all. 

You get your first and only one with him - intricate red looped around your wrists and over your pinkies.  Your own, very real string of fate, sealed and signed forever in rouge. 

He was your Prince Charming, your best friend, your bonafide soulmate.  You’d done everything together - skydiving, snorkelling, silly photos atop the Eiffel Tower.  He’d adapted to your distaste of onions and took them all, meticulously picking them out of stir fries and sauces until not a single sliver remained.  You’d learnt to tolerate his unbearably fast driving, white-knuckled and silent when he’d tear around corners too fast in a car too low. You fit perfectly, filling all the spaces he could never, keeping him whole even when he was broken.  

Your love was of fairy tales but it was better than that too.  Real.  Concrete.  Solid.

Until it wasn’t.    

The two of you had never had any other choice.

That’s what it feels like, at least.  He’d done his best - tried every little thing he could’ve possibly imagined - and it’d all amounted to nothing.  He’d gone through all the motions, explored every avenue, given everything he had.  It wasn’t working.  This thing he wanted with every fibre of his being, that he’d hoped for his whole life, just wasn’t working.  It wasn’t for him.

“I’m sorry,”  he cries, and he knows you know he means it.  You can read it between every line of his expression, tucked among the neatly scrawled india ink in faded red, underlining the passages you’d written together.  He is sorry.  He’d never meant to do this to you, nor you to him.  He’d wanted to give you it all - make all your hopes and dreams come true.

Sometimes, fate just had other plans.  

Because what the two of you had - so brilliant and beautiful and bright it was almost impossible to look at head-on - was what was tearing you apart.  It was your love that would be your demise.  

And he can’t bear to hurt the one he loves.  

He’d tried so hard.  Really, he had.  You had too, more than he ever deserved. 

There was simply no other option.  You’d always come up short.  You weren’t the one for him - not anymore - no matter how badly you wanted to be.  You weren’t the one meant for him.  You’d fumble for that ledge - held so impossibly high, just barely out of reach - before falling right back to where you began.  The bottom.  He couldn’t stand to see you there, brought to your knees once, twice, a hundred times.  

He’d lose count if not for the petals.

Little ones, at first.  Tiny pieces of silk you’d found on your pillowcase, outside the shower, in your water glass.  They’d been unassuming - reminders you could easily ignore.  

Then they’d grown, velvet softness that made it hard to breathe, that had him rubbing soothing circles over your skin, earnest vows winding like vines around your airways.  Neither of you had had any idea why it was happening.  You were soulmates - bound to each other and destined since the beginning.  Your love wasn’t unrequited. 

“We’ll figure it out,”  he’d said.  Sworn.  “We’ll get through this.”

Your heart had broken with each promise;  his had too, differently, but in perfect tandem.  

(Spring still came, steadily, with a rose garden blooming within your insides and freesias in your nose.) 

It wasn’t his fault.  You would never blame him, even when it was his fist that broke yours, splintered it into a million pieces that cut worse than the thorns in your lungs.  You knew this was just as hard for him.  He’d had to watch you wither away, even as a patchwork of flowers blossomed in the spaces he’d thought he could keep safe.  He hated it - could barely take it.  It kept him up all night, tears in his eyes.  Even when he slept - managed it, every few days - it’d prompt him awake in a cold sweat.

If he’d known then what had changed, maybe he could’ve fixed it sooner.  Maybe he could’ve saved you the heartache.  (Weeks later and during a coffee break with the new girl at his startup was not how he’d expected to find his answer.)

“I love you,”  you tell him, an ocean of sadness.  He loves you too, more than anything, more than there are stars in the sky.  He loves you with every part of himself - and yet he knows now that’s what’s causing this.  He loves you, but not in the right way.  Every touch he offers is wrong, leaving you bruised, broken, barely breathing.  It’s a disease - a venereal infection that seeps beneath skin and bone, settling within the marrow.  It changes you from the inside out, realigns your DNA until you’re mutated and miserable. 

The realisation is devastating:  his love causes more harm than it heals. 

So he stands there now, caught in the distance between you, eyes melancholy blue.  His composure is frayed, crippled beneath the weight of your circumstance.  He tries to memorise your face in these last moments - the colour of your hair, the shape of your stare.  How you sound in the morning - voice raspy with sleep, dust caught in your eyes.  The way you hold him close and the feeling of your eyelashes against his neck in the early hours.  

Jeon Jungkook doesn’t want this to end.  He doesn’t want to lose you, give you - this - up but he has to.  He has to, for you.  To give you a chance.  

Even after having so little - only five short years - you were about to lose the rest of your lives.  

You pack your bags - he helps, folding your favourite sweater (one of his, in truth) alongside your toiletries and undergarments - and you prepare to do the thing that you should never have to do.  You sign papers, dot I’s and cross T’s, and put all your treasured memories away into cardboard boxes to never be touched again.  You label them neatly and dress tape over edges;  Band-Aids meant to hold together the deepest wounds.

You’re going under by anaesthetic and he’ll be here, where he has everything he wishes he could give you.  A love he doesn’t deserve, within arms he wishes were yours. 

He wonders whether he’ll still feel the pull once it’s done or whether his heart will stay there, tucked somewhere beneath the dug up roots.  Whether it’ll be safe, undiscovered like a long lost treasure.  

It’s best this way.  He tells himself that - loops it on repeat until it’s the only thing he can think.  It has to be better.  For you, for you, for you. 

He knows he’ll carry you with him forever.  Like the air in his lungs, you’ll keep him going.  

He’s snapped back to the present, to the small hallway of the home you’d built together.  The traces of you are gone - all the photos hidden away, your row of shoes missing from beside his.  It’s strangely bare.  He knows it won’t last long.  She’ll be here next week.

Your hand pushes against his cheek, thumb caressing along the seam of his bottom lip, right where the freckle sits.  He’s a thief - a criminal, a sinner - when he dips his head, presses back into the warmth of your palm.  This isn’t for him to take but he does anyway, eagerly and with deep regret. 

“I love you.”  Your voice cuts through all the white noise and agony - a beacon in the night, guiding him home.  

He smiles, half-hearted and weak and not even his.  Every part of him screams at him to beg you not to do it, to accept him for the man he is - lost and weak and sorry.  He almost drops to his knees - fights tooth and nail against his aching limbs not to - and brings a hand to yours.  The red threads looped around your wrists fit perfectly together, the ends of inked rope caught around your pinkies matching when his fingers slot between yours. 

Don’t do this, he pleads, without words or hope. 

“I’ll love you forever,”  you tell him - promise like he had you.  “You’ll always be the brightest star in my sky, Jeon Jungkook.”

He almost cracks - seams near splitting, adhesive tearing from skin - when you return his smile and he can see how hard it is.  You’re already broken, all the pieces of your puzzle in terrible disarray. 

You’re trying, for him. 

“I’m so sorry,” he answers, because that is kinder than an I love you that doesn’t mean what you need it to.  Because you deserve better - you deserve it in the same way you mean it. 

So he’ll let you leave and he’ll pray this isn’t the worst decision of his whole life.  

“I’ll see you.”  

He hopes so.  He can’t bear the idea of losing you again.  He doesn’t think even she could fix him if he had to. 

“Be safe,”  he whispers, in a voice that stutters your stare and shatters what little resolve you have left.  He sees it in your eyes - all the crystallised parts of your composure turned to ash.  He wishes he could be sorry.  He’s not.  

“I love you,”  you repeat with an air of finality. 

Jungkook does the same:  “I’m sorry.” 

You leave, ushered into the back of your mother’s tiny sedan.  She helps you with your bags and your seatbelt, rubbing your shoulder carefully when baby’s breath slips past your lips and falls all over your lap.  She meets his stare when she climbs into the driver’s seat.  He tries to read her expression.  Understanding?  Resentment?  Gratitude?  

The car pulls away with a groan, disappearing down the tree-lined street.  Jungkook stands in the doorway for far longer than he should.

He’s moved on - settled down with the girl of his dreams.  Literally.  

She’s nothing like you, sarcastic and stubborn with a staunch refusal to ever come second best.  She laughs maybe a bit too loud, giving him shit when he orders in another car part.  She’d eat an onion raw, if she could, and takes showers hot enough to slough the skin from her bones.  They have a home together and in a year’s time, he thinks he’ll propose.  He’s not in any rush, though, because he knows she’s his forever.  

(Knows it, even though you’d once been that same shining star to him.  He has to believe it won’t happen again.  Life can’t screw someone twice, right?  Lightning never strikes the same spot or something like that?)

Still, he tries to forget the feeling of you.  

It isn’t as hard as he’d thought it would be.  The love exists as it always has, just differently, in the palm of his hand and not the space behind his ribs.  You’re his best friend and he is disgustingly, unbelievably lucky.  

He’d gotten his second chance.  Even if he’d once resented it, he had everything now.  

You still go for your morning runs and he still changes your oil because you’d never learnt how to.  His parents invite you for Sunday dinners;  you’re gracious enough to decline them.  You don’t see it as pity - you just don’t want to intrude.  (It isn’t your place any longer.)  You accept all the changes readily, without regret.  You promise you’ll go by one day.  

Your parents never speak to him.  He doesn’t blame them.  At the supermarket, on the street, in passing when he’s coming and they’re leaving - it’s radio silent.  

It’s been six months and you haven’t dreamt at all.  They’d hoped - prayed - that you’d find someone new after him, someone to treat you right.  You don’t mind, you tell them.  I’ll meet my special eventually, you say (again, again).

He wonders whether you resent them for it - their concern, perhaps a bit overbearing and offered with a heavy hand.  If you do, you say nothing, playing along each time they suggest you meet another friend’s son, another junior at your father’s accounting firm.  You don’t understand the sad way they watch you. 

“I’m sorry,”  he mumbles one night, seated at the neighbourhood cafe you’d frequented on your first date.  Your idea, because you loved coffee and, in your old words, this was your place.  The start of it all, where he’d knocked you hard onto pavement and stolen your heart in the process.

You don’t remember it now.  Not in the same way. 

This is somewhere you come for their great matcha lattes, where you waste a few too many evenings when you just want to get out of the house.  It isn’t the place he’d told you he loved you or where you’d resolved your first fight.  

(It’d been stupid.  He’d forgotten to pick up groceries for your first dinner with your parents.  You’d been so stressed you’d snapped at him, carrying tension into the rest of the evening.  He’d apologised with an almond croissant and your favourite green drink.)  

It’s like a wall has gone up, splitting your heart in two.  The part of you that’d once been Jungkook’s remains out of reach, caught behind a gate neither of you have the key to.  

“For what?”  You quip, a milk moustache presenting itself over the rim of your mug.   

Jungkook shrugs.  He can’t make you understand.  “Y’know,”  he mumbles into his red bean mochi bun.  It sticks to his teeth and coats them in soft white flour.  “Just— everything.”  It’s not enough, either as an explanation or an apology.  It falls terribly short, barely worthy of a participation trophy.  

“It’s fine.”  You say it every time, clockwork in response to the same apology he always gives - out of the blue and vague.

“No, but I’m—”

You level him with a glare.  It might’ve hurt once but now it settles like a scolding from a sibling.  He reminds himself this is how it should be, you there and him here - two parallel lines.  

The guilt never goes away. 

tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice​​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​​​ @snackhobi​​

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Head Case (S2, E6)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:03 - This clip of Malcolm in the car is from the pilot episode. I was so betrayed by this clip. Full disclosure - I’ve always had a thing for Malcolm’s jacket from the pilot episode. I just love it and I think Tom Payne looks cute in it. BUT - I was betrayed because Malcolm isn’t wearing my favourite jacket in the next scene (I was disappointed but not surprised). Rant about wardrobe over. 

0:20 - This is weird to me. In the clip right before this, when Malcolm was coming to Claremont (wearing the awesome jacket) - Malcolm is clearly in emotional distress. He’s not in a good mood. BUT right here, when Malcolm is chatting with Mr. David he seems like he’s in a good mood. Not one of his manic good moods - just a regular good one.

0:32 - Anyone else notice how visibly uncomfortable Jessica AND Malcolm are? This whole Ainsley situation is literally going to destroy them both. :(

0:34 - sooooo Mr. David knows by now right? He has to? ALSO when the European FBI guy shows up in a few episodes this is going to be bad for Malcolm and Jessica right? The FBI guy will probs talk to Mr. David who will be like - oh yeah, they’ve had more ‘family meetings’ in the past 6 months than in the past 20 years. 

1:22 - Sooooo this whole family honestly thinks Ainsley’s going to become a serial killer. From the tidbits of her childhood that we’ve seen, the way she treated Malcolm in Q&A, and generally how she acts when she wants to get a story - I’m not surprised. Read my thoughts on older episodes (1x7, 1x20, 2x5), I’ve always thought Ainsley was a sociopath or psychopath. The girl doesn’t show a lot of moral backbone or sympathy for anyone. 

1:33 - Wait. Does this montage of Malcolm’s erratic behaviour mean that Malcolm killed someone as a kid? And doesn’t know it? Or is this just a reference to the whole ‘girl in the box’ trauma arc from last season?

1:44 - “I wish I didn’t know that you were a killer.” Anyone else get major flashbacks to the movie Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause? “I wish I had never become Santa at all” then we get an AU for 40 mins? Just me? Cool - excuse my bad taste in Christmas movies. 

1:50 - hahaha Martin is so bitter.

2:25 - You know, as much as I love to hate Martin - he has a point. Malcolm loved his Dad (still does whether he wants to admit it or not) in 98′ - why is Malcolm chill with Ainsley killing but not Martin? Is it because with Martin, he found a poor girl tortured in a box but with Ainsley he saw her kill a man that was threatening their family? Or was it because Martin tried to kill Malcolm but Ainsley hasn’t (yet?) **honestly - that would be such an interesting episode - if Ainsley tries to kill Malcolm**

2:33 - THANK YOU. Someone finally thanks Malcolm for trying to protect Ainsley (and in extension Jessica) from the emotional trauma he’s been dealing with since the age of 10. EVEN THOUGH PROTECTING THEM IS MAKING HIS MENTAL STATE WORSE. Seriously - Malcolm is going to snap soon I honestly won’t be surprised if we get some suicidal ideation from him this season (especially if things don’t improve). Look at those big sad puppy dog eyes when Jess thanks him.

2:38 - hahahaha that side-eyed glare directed at Martin. 

2:53 - I know Jessica had good intentions here - she’s trying to protect both of her children but honestly, this whole interaction was probably super upsetting for Malcolm. Think about it - BOTH of his parents haven’t tried to have a serious discussion with him at the same time since he was at 10 years old or younger. This interaction is probably bringing up some memories for Malcolm and making him grieve for the childhood he lost all over again. 

3:06 - “You’re gross.” followed by a very regal wave at Mr. David. YES. Queen Jessica. <3

3:25 - Malcolm startling JT is pretty freaking cute. Look at how JT’s expression immediately changes from startled to concerned. I don’t blame him. Malcolm gives off major manic energy in this scene. The visit with the parents did not leave him in a good place. Also - Malcolm straight up admitted that he’s had a ‘rough morning’ this boy almost never tells the truth when he’s struggling. He’s fine. He’s always fine. 

3:30 - “Rough month.” IS THIS IT? IS THIS ALL I’M GOING TO GET? JT had a baby THREE EPISODES AGO. ‘rough month’ is a reference to the fact that he’s a new dad and he’s struggling with lack of sleep, leaving Tally alone with the baby while he’s a work, being a good husband, adjusting to dad life, ect. RIGHT?!? We’ve literally had no mention of the baby since 2x3 and I’m losing my mind. I just want someone to say, “Hey JT, how’s the baby?” that’s it. I want 5 seconds of dialogue. Just an acknowledgment that the child exists. 

3:54 - “Sooo bring me up to speed.” OMG. That smile is both extremely manic and completely adorable. Seriously - why is no one on the team more concerned about Malcolm during this episode? AND WHERE THE EFF IS EDRISA IN THIS SCENE?!? We’ve been robbed. 

4:21 - “What? I liked math class.” OMG. JT is a closet math nerd. You can’t take this headcanon away from me. 

4:24 - hahahaha look at Malcolm absorbing the new information about JT. He’s like.....yes. I will keep that information for later. Very good. Will pry further. 

5:04 - I love Dani. She’s perfect. She can see that Malcolm just checked out into his own horror of a memory. So she gently teases him to bring him back to reality. <3 This is true friendship. <3

6:00 - Was I the only one who thought it was weird that Gil asked Malcolm to help with the canvasing? Like - doesn’t Malcolm always help? Isn’t that part of what he does to build his profile?

6:12 - “KGB agent” Yes. Malcolm is still annoyed that Ainsley was so competitive about a literal murder last episode. I promise you. Ainsley’s probably still annoyed too. 

6:26 - This is why Malcolm is considering telling Ainsley the truth. He’s already losing her. May as well rip off the band-aid. She might not react as badly finding out from him as she would finding out by herself.

6:51 - “That is my vagina.” hahahahaha OMG. As a woman I must say: HOW?!?! As someone who adores JT:  hahahahahahahaha OMG. 

7:23 - “You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that tidbit”. lol. JT gently teasing Malcolm is one of my favourite things. Hands down. Especially since they’ve reached a point in their friendship where Malcolm doesn’t seem scared or offended when JT makes fun of him. They’re acting like brothers and I LOVE IT. <3

7:25 - “That’s the tip of the iceberg my man.” I have no idea why I am so amused by someone calling Malcolm “my man” but I am. 

7:36 - “The Bowery Ripper” hahaha the look that JT and Dani exchange when Malcolm starts nerding out.

8:00 - Wendell is kind of creepy. But like a weird, non-threatening creepy?

8:22 - OMG. JT let the vagina sculpture go. hahaha Look at how grossed out Dani is hahahaha she’s like, “Ugh. Men are gross.”

8:30 - This is why I love JT. He knows that that elevator is sketchy as hell. Plus it’s some (less than subtle) foreshadowing for what’s to come in this episode. 

8:41 - How did Dani find out he was at Claremont?! Does Mr. David call Gil every time Malcolm visits?!? ......this is my new headcanon. You will have to pry it from my cold dead hands. 

9:00 - This is a really cute moment between Dani and Malcolm. Regardless of whether or not you ship Brightwell - it’s really sweet to see Malcolm interacting so honestly with someone. He’s telling Dani the truth about something and she’s not making him feel bad about how messed up his family is or how weird his situation is. She just listens and teases him to make him smile. That is a good friend. IDC how you feel about Brightwell - right now - this is a GOOD FRIEND moment and Malcolm deserves more of them. 

9:10 - Annnnnnndddd this is why Brightwell shouldn’t happen (right now). Dani is still hurt that Malcolm doesn’t trust her enough to tell her everything. She still doesn’t completely trust him after what happened last season. A romantic relationship without 100% trust will fail. End of story. They’re great friends but right now they can’t be in a romantic relationship. It’ll end poorly. (Damn, I hope Brightwell is endgame though).

9:38 - hahaha Greta Swan is a perfect comedic relief for the Dani/Malcolm tension we just witnessed. This girl is a little nuts and a lot funny. 

10:00 - “Dad’s lived here his whole life” - wow. The writers really left us some big bread crumbs. We go from the scene where someone mentions a serial killer who killed someone (who was abducted from this hotel) in 1963. THEN we find a strange, gossipy woman and her grumpy father who has lived there his whole life. Coincidence? Nah. 

10:17 - SERIOUSLY?!? The Whitly home is ENORMOUS. WHY IS JESSICA LETTING AINSLEY WORK IN THE MURDER BASEMENT?!?!?! We literally just found out that Jessica has a SOLARIUM somewhere in this house. 

10:40 - “The guy definitely seems like he kills people.” Oh the irony here. 

10:55 - “Are you upset with me?” This is soft and I love it. Malcolm is being vulnerable with his little sister and it warms my heart. 

11:07 - “Insomnia sucks.” “Who knew?” Again. Irony. 

11:18 - “Anything you want to talk about?” This is precious. Malcolm loves Ainsley SO FREAKING MUCH. He has major Dad/Big brother/concerned school counsellor energy here and I’m here for it. 

11:38 - Malcolm’s soooo going to replay this conversation in his head about a million times. He’s going to blame himself for Ainsley’s murder victim of this episode. He’s going to play the “what-if” game. What if - he told her the truth here? Would she still have killed someone tonight? 

11:52 - Look at Ainsley’s face here. She seems sort of confused and comforted? Like maybe the fractions of memories that she’s admitting to having are making her believe that she killed Endicott and it scares her. Malcolm telling her otherwise is probably comforting on some level. It’s helping her convince herself that she’s done nothing wrong. 

12:25 - According to IMDB - this isn’t the episode LDP directed SO WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE GIL CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE?!?!?!

12:27 - What the hell is the puddle on the floor btw? Is it paint? Tar? Blood? I thought construction hadn’t started on the hotel yet?

14:14 - Malcolm. You. Are. A. Moron. Why go towards the creepy elevator that opened by itself? Why did you think that was a good idea?

14:29 - The Bowery Ripper is pretty strong for an old guy. I mean, Malcolm isn’t that big and he was caught off guard but still.

14:38 - I wanted this scene to be reality SO SO BADLY. I don’t even care about the Brightwell interaction in this scene. Malcolm is on a hospital bed. With an ice pack. I could’ve watched 45 minutes of “Malcolm in the hospital” content. The fact that this boy didn’t spend longer than a 30 second scene in the hospital is a CRIME. Why does Fedak hate giving us the whump aftercare?!? WHY?!?! Doesn’t he know like half the fandom LIVES FOR IT?!?

14:40 - You know how I knew this was the start of Malcolm’s AU dream? 2 reasons: 1) Dani has her hand on the ice pack on Malcolm’s head, even though he totally doesn’t need her help to hold the ice pack to his head. 2) GIL ISN”T HERE. .....although this episode did us dirty with the lack of Gil content (I miss Papa!Gil so much)

14:46 - There’s something about dream JT. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Real and dream JT are almost identical. But dream JT seems to be more open with Malcolm? IDK - he’s more relaxed around Malcolm? I can’t quite describe it. Did anyone else notice that there was just something a little bit different about dream JT? Not even in a bad way. Just different. 

15:15 - “Noooo she said it could’ve been worse. Not the same.” hahaha YES DANI. Good looking out. Call out this boy for neglecting his health. 

15:24 - This whole scene where Dani and Malcolm do a joint interrogation was awesome. They were talking pretty fast which I found a little distracting but JT said it best, “They were on FIRE”.  One thing I REALLY liked about the scene was the dynamic between Dani and Malcolm. Neither one of them was really taking a lead in the interrogation. They were equal partners and I think that says a lot about Malcolm’s romantic desires. He doesn’t want to dominate anyone. He doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. He just wants someone he can trust and respect. Someone who will trust and respect him. He wants a partner. An equal partner. I think that’s a really healthy desire for anyone in search of a relationship. 

16:12 - an affair? Did we know that Lyle and/or Katrina were married?!? If they weren’t married it would just be a relationship. Not an affair. 

17:01 - Is this honestly the first time Dani has called Malcolm by his first name? In 26 episodes? It must be right? Because I swear I was so shocked my heart skipped a beat (also my Brightwell heart melted but that’s a whole different thing). 

17:06 - .....so in Malcolm’s dream does he still work for Major Crimes? Is JT running the department? I need some more details here. 

17:12 - Soft!JT <3 <3 <3 How cute is it that in Malcolm’s AU dream, JT (and Dani) don’t actually change (in terms of personality). Their roles in his life just intensify. Dani becomes his significant other and JT becomes a much closer friend/brother. It’s precious. <3 <3 <3 

17:52 - Something about the fact that Jessica isn’t drinking liquor in the AU is hilarious and depressing to me. It’s funny because, well, it just tickles me. It’s depressing because Malcolm understands that Jessica drinks to dull the pain. In this AU, she isn’t in pain. She’s happy. Therefore, she doesn’t need alcohol. I don’t know about you but the fact that Malcolm’s subconscious wanted his mom to be happy so badly that she became (more or less) sober - is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. 

18:11 - “No one in this family is scared of a little blood right?” The irony here is THICK.

19:23 - The fact that Ainsley is a doctor just like Martin in Malcolm’s AU is terrifying and hilarious. This whole “I watched Ainsley kill a man” thing is really destabilizing Malcolm’s questionable mental health.

19:27 - “Please Ainsley is the talented one. I’m a distance second.” ....does this mean that Endicott isn’t the first person Ainsley has killed? Does this mean subconsciously Malcolm somehow thinks that Ainsley is a better serial killer than Martin?

19:56 - “No phones at dinner okay?” Something about the way Martin is looking at Malcolm at this moment and Martin’s tone of voice made me think - “Shit. Martin’s still a serial killer in Malcolm’s AU.” Especially since they Ainsley literally just announced to the room that he’s getting a from Claremont. 

20:06 - Yep. That’s a nightmare. From the back, Claremont!Gil probably looked like Martin circa mid-2010s for Malcolm. 

20:09 - Look idc who you ship on this show. But I will fight you if you don’t think that Malcolm being comforted after a nightmare by someone he loves is the sweetest thing ever. Look at how Dani gently rubs his arm and back. Ugh. This is the kind of safety Malcolm DESERVES. 

20:43 - Dani lying on Malcolm’s chest. <3 It just makes me so happy. Not even necessarily because it’s Dani (although I do ship Brightwell as end game) but because Malcolm’s subconscious is showing us his ideal relationship and we don’t see anything wild or questionable - we just see G-rated cuddling. And damn if that doesn’t say a lot about how much Malcolm just wants to be loved. 

20:53 - .......Can we have a full episode’s worth of footage where Malcolm is unconscious on the floor? I know I’m a basket case but it would make my whump heart so happy.....even happier if that footage was immediately followed by 40 mins of hospital care/comfort footage.

20:59 - I know that time has sort of slowed down for the purpose of plot in this episode but ngl - every time we saw the elevator approaching passed out Malcolm all I could think was “this is the slowest elevator in the world.”

21:26 - Malcolm is so so relaxed and comfortable in this scene. I want him to be this happy forever. 

22:07 - “You deserve all of it.” Malcolm subconsciously just wants permission to be happy. He doesn’t think he deserves to be happy (especially after Endicott). That little revelation broke my heart. Also the Brightwell kiss was adorable. Dani takes control because, Malcolm wants to feel wanted and this is how his subconscious is manifesting that desire. I will argue that Malcolm doesn’t necessarily want a relationship where his partner takes charge or dominates him. He made coffee of both of them. They’re living in his apartment. They’re having calm, mature, adult conversations. They are both equal partners in his dream relationship. 

22:45 - Dani isn’t scared of Malcolm when his hand starts shaking. She isn’t judging him. She’s just concerned. <3

22:47 - “Existential ennui”? Soooo much french in this episode. Damn. “Jamais vu”, “Quelle suprise”. Now “ennui”. 

23:35 - “I don’t fit your profile.” ....am I expected to believe that Malcolm didn’t realize this was a dream until this moment? Dani calling him “Malcolm Whitly” in the last scene wasn’t a red flag? Or the fact that Ainsley is a doctor. Or that Martin isn’t in Claremont? Or that Jessica isn’t drinking booze by the bucket? I mean, I know he has a head injury but these are big red flags. 

24:15 - Sooooo is Wendell dead irl? Because this is technically a dream. 

25:02 - “I thought we were looking for an inexperienced psychopath. A first time killer.”......this is him projecting about Ainsley right? Am I overthinking this? And now he says, “I was wrong”. Is that supposed to suggest that Malcolm thinks Ainsley has killed someone before Endicott?

25:07 - “The blows are confident. They were having fun.”.....couldn’t the same be said about how Ainsley stabbed Endicott? They were definitely confident stabs (plus a confident throat slitting). 

25:14 - “We’re looking for a serial killer.” Istg the writers are hinting that Ainsley is a serial killer (or will become one soon).

25:27 - Mr. David appears in the AU but Edrisa doesn’t. We were ROBBED.

26:07 - I’m not the only one who thinks that beard makes Gil look like a werewolf right?

26:33 - Claremont!Gil is creepy. LDP’s performance here is really really good. Also - I hate it. Because serial killer Gil is just not my Gil and it upsets me to see Gil chained to a wall. 

26:56 - Sooooo in the AU “The Surgeon” is still at large right? ....you’d think Malcolm would be trying to solve that case with Dani and JT. You know, an active prolific serial killer in New York?

27:34 - The way that Martin, Gil, and Malcolm interact in this scene is really interesting to me. In a lot of ways, this isn’t an AU. Think about it. 

In the dream: Gil is frantically trying to convince Malcolm that Martin is a serial killer. In a way, Gil is trying to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In reality: Gil just shoots Malcolm disapproving looks when he mentions seeing Martin. Gil desperately tries to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In the dream: Martin is trying to convince Malcolm that Gil is a monster. He’s trying to convince Malcolm that he’s a Good father. That he would never hurt Malcolm. That he loves Malcolm. 

In reality - Martin is the same. 

The only main difference between AU!Martin, AU!Gil, and their real counterparts is their temperaments. AU!Martin has Gil’s calm, comforting, and rational temperament while AU!Gil has Martin’s angry, manic, and controlling temperament.

What is the same between the AU characters and their real counterparts? 

Martin is still a manipulative killer.

Gil still shoots Malcolm looks of concern (27:45). 

Gil and Martin still hate each other. 

28:30 - Even dream Martin tries to gaslight Malcolm. 

28:56 - “You can always count on Dad.” ....is this how Malcolm really feels about Martin subconsciously? It kind of makes sense? Who did Malcolm turn to when Ainsley did the unthinkable? Not Gil or Jessica. Malcolm said it in 1x12 - (I’m paraphrasing) “The child in me thought he cared. Loved me even.” I think there’s still a part of Malcolm that believes that. Or at least a part of Malcolm that desperately wants to believe that. 

29:17 - “I’ve never been to a crime scene before.” That’s because you create the crime scene, Martin. In all versions of reality. 

29:20 - annnnnnd AU Martin shares regular Martin’s weird fascination with Dani. 

31:00 - JT being buddy-buddy with Martin is hands down the most horrifying part of the AU. 

31:10 - “I think he’s having a psychotic break.” ......I want this to be foreshadowing so so so badly. I think it would be so interesting to see how the team, Jessica, Ainsley, and even Martin deal with Malcolm just having a total breakdown. Maybe not a full psychotic break. Maybe a nervous breakdown? Or he succumbs to his suicidal ideation? Probably a little too dark for network TV though.

31:34 - “I’m very protective of her and her boots.” Does Malcolm see himself as the Bowery Ripper, trying to protect Ainsley as opposed to his daughter? Or is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be a metaphor for Martin protecting Ainsley? Is Malcolm going to take the fall for Ainsley and all her murders?!? 

32:45 - “Why did you kill again? After all these years.” istg this is hinting that Ainsley killed someone as a kid and Martin knows about it.

33:00 - “I can’t let my daughter know what I was.” .....is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be Ainsley? Is Ainsley killing people to try and protect Malcolm? Ugh. I’m totally overthinking this.

33:02 - Even in his dream, Malcolm can’t bring himself to kill his father. Wether that is by cutting off contact with Martin irl or letting the Bowery Ripper kill him in the AU.

33:07 - Actually though - why doesn’t Malcolm carry a gun IRL? We know he’s trained to use one. We saw him use one in the pilot on a case for the FBI. Is there some sort of NYPD rule about consultants carrying weapons? Is it a rule that Gil has imposed on Malcolm? Is it a rule that Malcolm has imposed on himself? A mixture? I want to know. 

33:38 - OMG. Is Malcolm going to try and kill Ainsley?!?! What a twist that would be. AU Malcolm just killed a killer. He doesn’t seem to feel bad about it and he agrees with Martin that “everything is okay now”. 

33:55 - This hug deeply moved me. Malcolm is fully aware that this hug isn’t real but he looks so content to be hugged by his father. Malcolm is finally getting a proper hug. <3 It honestly makes me wonder what Malcolm would do IRL for his father’s approval though. He’s clearly sooo desperate for Martin to love him. Who knows what Martin will be able to convince Malcolm to do in this season? Malcolm’s not all that mentally stable right now and he’s really vulnerable emotionally. I’m worried.

34:26 - “Not that it’s a competition.” ....yep. Ainsley wants to be better than Malcolm even in Malcolm’s own subconscious. 

35:00 - Heart. Breaking. Watching Ainsley, Martin, and Jessica tell Malcolm how good they think Dani is for him breaks my heart. Look at how happy Malcolm looks. Look at how desperately Malcolm wants this to be real. Ugh. My heart is shattered. 

35:20 - “You’re the best, big brother.” Even Malcolm’s subconsious knows that he’s an excellent big brother. Seriously, I love my younger brother but I don’t think I could ever cover up a murder for him. Never mind dispose of the body. Maybe I would? IDK the situation has never come up (thankfully).

35:25 - .....aaannnnnndd we’re back to the Girl in the Box.

35:58 - “Why would you ever want to leave?” “Because it’s all a lie.” Isn’t Malcolm living a lie IRL too? He’s pretending that Ainsley is a law-abiding citizen. He’s pretending that he isn’t an accomplice in a murder. He’s living in constant fear because of his secrets. They’re going to destroy him. This is why I think a suicide attempt is a possibility for this season. This trauma is a lot bigger (in some ways) than last season’s. Plus - Malcolm has a lot of pre-existing trauma. This could be the metaphoric straw that breaks the camel’s back.  

36:45 - “Even in my wildest dream. I’m still a detective. I need to seek the truth. No matter how painful.” That’s it. That’s Malcolm’s character in a nutshell. “Traumatized boy who intentionally puts himself through more trauma for the sake of seeking the truth.”

37:01 - “You’re right. I need to work on that.”.......if Malcolm tells Gil and/or the team about Ainsley next episode I will lose my mind. 

 37:15 - TOM PAYNE. YOU ABSOLUTE TREASURE. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PERFORMANCE. THOSE UNSHED TEARS. THAT DESPERATE ANGER. THAT HOPELESSNESS AND DESPAIR.  <3 <3 <3 <3 

38:21 - Look, I’m a mechanical engineering student (not an expert) but if that was a wooden stick like I think it is - that would’ve NEVER stopped an elevator (at least, not long enough for Malcolm to escape). But I’ll overlook it for whump. Because Malcolm has a head wound and I’m loving it. 

38:33 - I’ve rewatched this clip of Malcolm with a bloody face meeting JT and Dani about 50 times (wish I was exaggerating that number). There is something so gorgeous about this scene. I mean - the fact that Malcolm is clearly in physical and emotional pain is enough to make my whump heart sing but it’s more than that. Listen to the genuine concern in JT’s voice when he says, “You okay?”. Look at Dani’s concerned face. Listen to how soft and desperate Malcolm’s voice is when he says, “When was the last time I talked to you?” Look at how concerned and confused JT and Dani are when Malcolm says, “I know who the killer is.” They’re not scared of Malcolm. They’re scared for Malcolm. Malcolm just showed up covered in blood, he can’t walk straight, he’s clearly confused, and now he’s claiming that he’s solved the case. They’re worried about him and they have every right to be. Listen to how broken Malcolm sounds when he says, “Long story.” <3 <3 <3 I’m in love with this scene. 

39:19 - “Are you sure about this?” “I have no idea.” This. Is. Important. JT and Dani have every reason to believe that this old man isn’t a killer but Malcolm’s head injury is making him confused. BUT they choose to trust Malcolm (or at the very least, humour him). They trust him enough to take a risk on him and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s exactly what Malcolm needed after his nightmare of an AU dream. He needed to know that they care about him IRL. I hope he notices their behaviour despite the head injury. 

39:35 - Malcolm puts the skull down with his ungloved hand. I’m blaming the head injury. 

39:55 - Look this was a really moving scene. The parallel of Malcolm arresting a serial killer in front of the serial killer’s child and Martin being arrested in front of Malcolm is haunting. HOWEVER, when that old man stood up from the wheelchair my stupid brain went “THAT ASSHOLE NEVER EVEN NEEDED THE WHEELCHAIR?!?”.....even though he literally wasn’t in a wheelchair in Malcolm’s dream. 

40:40 - WE WERE ROBBED. I want to see the scene where Malcolm explains his dream to the team. I want to see GIL. WHERE THE EFF IS GIL IN THIS EPISODE?!?! FURTHERMORE - I WANT THE IRL VERSION OF “MALCOLM GOES TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A HEAD INJURY” SCENE. WTF FEDAK. GIVE ME THE AFTERCARE. 

40:47 - “That man will be buried in a turtleneck.” hahahahahaha OMG. Iconic. 

41:27 - “Goodnight Malcolm.” <3 <3 <3 She called him Malcolm IRL. Excuse me while I go and stoke my slow burn Brightwell fire. 

41:36 - “Goodnight.” This is the face of a man who just accepted the fact that he will never be happy. Malcolm honestly doesn’t think he deserves to be in a relationship. Especially with someone as beautiful, kind, and talented as Dani.

41:40 - THAT HAT. Was this really in Season 1?!?! I don’t remember it? But holy hell - I want to see Malcolm wear it. Like now. It’s going to make me laugh. I can feel it. 

41:53 - Immediately you can hear that something is wrong in Ainsley’s voice. She sounds distracted, dissociated, and scared. 

42:14 - Give. Tom. Payne. An. Emmy. Listen to his voice breaking here. He’s so close to tears and it’s genuinely beautiful. Such an astounding performance. 

42:51 - I honestly think Ainsley is shaking her head because she realizes that she made a mistake. She came to Malcolm because she thought he killed Endicott. She thought that he’d be able to understand. That he’d be able to help her because he had committed the same crime she just committed. She was wrong. He can help her - but legally, he really shouldn’t.

43:08 - Look. A new scene for Malcolm’s night terrors. 

43:15 - Yep. This is going to drive Malcolm into a mental breakdown. This is bad. 

43:20 - There’s a part of me that wants Malcolm to tattle on Ainsley. Just so he doesn’t have to keep the secret any longer. The secret is killing him. Telling won’t make the situation any better though. Gil and the team will react horribly and it’ll make Malcolm feel like garbage. Plus I can only imagine how the press would scrutinize the Whitly’s again. It won’t be good any way you slice it. 

I have a love/hate relationship with this episode. On one hand - it’s the cannon AU episode that every fanfiction lover dreams of. It’s also a really compelling episode complete with some excellent acting and great insight into Malcolm’s psyche. HOWEVER: 1) not enough Gil, 2) WHERE IS MY WHUMP AFTERCARE?, and 3) I wanted to see Malcolm at the base of that elevator for longer. The whump wasn’t prolonged enough for my sick soul. 

[nomattertheoceans]

There have been so many new people following me this last month omg

Thank you so much to everybody, I’m so so happy you stumbled upon my blog and decided to stay!!!!!

Since I think most of you followed me for my Feysand fics, I thought I would make this post to let you know a few general things about me and my blog :)

I’m French, so my English isn’t always great. I’m 25, and I live in South America, so I’m not on the European time zone, I’m closer to the US time zone (GMT -5). You can always come talk to me, about anything, in my DM’s or in my ask box, anon is always on.

Things I blog about, mostly:

- Sarah J Maas, mainly her ACOTAR series. I ship Feysand (I think this is obvious from my fics hahaha), I do not ship either Elriel nor Elucien, and I don’t really have strong opinion on Nesian. I want Mor to find the love of her life really soon, and I want Azriel to stop feeling entitled to her affection. I also wish Nesta going to the Mountains won’t turn her into a warrior because I want her to read books and drink tea all day long. Although, I’m really critical of the sisters’ general behaviour so I’m not always positive about them.

- Leigh Bardugo, mainly the books from the Grishaverse. I would die for Kanej and Zoyalai. I have many, many feelings about them and can’t wait for King of Scars 2 because I can’t wait to have my heart destroyed. I think Alarkling is an abusive ship and I do blog about that, I also think the Darkling is just an entitled abuser and I hate him. So... yeah no Darkling love here ^^’

- Brooklyn 99, mostly Peraltiago but really the entire show is gold and I blog about it often. Often without tags so... sorry x) If you ask me to tag it I will try to be better :) 

- His Dark Materials, the show AND the books. If you haven’t read the books, but are watching the show, my blog isn’t safe because I am talking about the books a lot!!!!! BUT everything that relates to the books is tagged #hdm books so you can avoid spoilers in my blog if you filter this tag. ALSO these books are a personal obsession, and my favorite book series, since I was nine so I.... have a lot of feelings. About a lot of things.

- Harry Potter. I hate Snape with a passion, I can rage about him for hours on end, and I do share anti Snape stuff. I also hate Dumbledore for forcing Harry to leave with his abusive family for 17 years. I ship Hinny and Romione, I LOVE Ron and I will defend him from the haters always, I identify 2000% with Hermione, and Ginny is my favorite character. Harry is bisexual and no you cannot change my mind. I do not consider The-Play-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to be canon, and I have very mixed feelings about the Fantastic Beasts series. I also have a very love/hate relationship with JK Rowling because I love what she created but she doesn’t seem to understand her characters, she doesn’t seem to care anymore, plus she’s a TERF and probably a homophobe so yeah... I hate her and I talk about it.

- Random stuff: A LOOOOOT of it!! Stupid jokes, cute photos of animal, art that I like, movies, books, TV series I like,..... Sorry my blog is not well maintained hahaha

- Other people’s fanfic: Okay so I have a job that takes up most of my time and energy. So I have very little spare time to read and write, and most of the time, I chose to write. Which means I am very bad at keeping track of what’s happening around me in the fanfic universe. BUT I am always willing to check out someone’s writing!!!! I might not do it right away because of lack of time but I would love it :) I’m really bad at recommendations though because I have so little time hahaha

The things I write

Here’s my masterlist :) You can also read all of it on AO3 !

- Original story: I don’t blog much about it, but I’m developping an original story that is basically sci-fi/apocalyptic. I looooove it and I am always open to answer things about it!!!! I might try to share more about it in the time to come ^^

- Non-Feysand fics. I don’t write a lot of these hahahaha but I do sometimes write some Peraltiago, some Kanej, and I have a few Jily/Wolfstar/Marauders projects, but I don’t think I will post them any time soon.

- Feysand fics. aka most of what I write hahahaha I love them and their relationship is an endless source of inspiration for me. Here are details of what’s happening right now, and what’s coming hopefully soon.

Current projects:

Feysand Holiday Fluff Fest: The reason I think most of you are following me ^^ A series of fluff prompts I’m writing for this month, it’s really fun for me because I have a tendency of writing very long stories and it’s a fresh feeling stopping at one-shots.

If you hold me close: It’s a modern fake dating AU, Feyre doesn’t want to go alone to her sister’s wedding and invites Rhys, but then they end up faking being in a relationship. I was thinking I would tag everyone who asked me to be in the tag list for the holiday fluff, but you can always ask me to untag you, I will not take it personnally I swear!!! Your personal experience is what matters :)

Staying Afloat: My baby, I love this fic so much it’s impossible to explain how much I do. I want everyone to love it and tell me what they think. This fic tackles some tough subjects though, mainly domestic abuse (Feyre is dating Tamlin for a good part of it). It’s also very angsty, and a very long slowburn hahahaha @tonystarksbish is my amazing beta reader and general main supporter, she’s honestly the reason I write that many things now. Go check her writing blog ( @somanyshipsss )

Future projects:

A Feysand college AU, mostly written from Rhysand’s point of view. I’m planning for it to be around 15 chapters, maybe? But it might get longer hahahaha

Some one-shots, some canon campliant, some in modern AUs, but all of them being published at an unknown date, depending on when inspiration strikes hahahaha

A project that is basically dumb and silly and that I started TODAY with @quakeriders (if you don’t know what she writes, go to her blog right now), we might post it and tell you more but basically Rhys is canon!Rhys and Feyre is a dumbass human from modern time who’s chilling around in a Stitch onesie. It’s really silly but we LOVE it!!!!! I can’t wait to share it with you guys it’s gonna be so fun ^^ (But not before the end of the month at least!)

Completed projects:

I made you a promise, it’s basically a mostly fluff modern AU, Feyre and Rhys meet at a bar and start dating! It’s been complete for a while now but sometimes I still post random headcanons or short or less short snippets of the story, generally according to request from people (well, from @quakeriders really hahaha) so you can send me requests if you want extensions or headcanons!!

I am ALWAYS open to prompts!!!!!!!! I love them and I will love you if you send me some. BUT I might not answer right away because inspiration is a bitch hahaha

Anyway, I think that’s it, I hope you all are having a great day, and I love you all so much for liking what I write, you bring me so much joy that I could hug all of you and it still wouldn’t be enough ^^

[taeguboi]

The Very Hopeful And I: BTS Soulmate!AU [01]

Oh, look at that! I’ve finally written the first chapter for my BTS Soulmate!AU which I headcanoned here like 3 - 4 months ago hahahaha I’m so bad at this writing thing... I’m sorry it’s badly written too, I’m more of a plot person haha

PROLOGUE: MINDFUL // PROLOGUE: YOUTHFUL // PROLOGUE: HOPEFUL

^Read the prologues here^ first and guess which BTS members I’ve decided to feature! [as in, whose POVs do you think are being expressed?]

If you’re still not quite sure which members are being involved with this soulmate!au, perhaps this chapter might give you some insight... [but only some as I’m still not revealing everything just yet!] As each prologue has 3 respective POVs, this contains all 3 in one section.

The Very Hopeful, And I - 01

The middle of the week was always extra daunting and dragging… but hey, I’m living the dream, right?

“Right, Jack, we need you to catch the next flight to cover this story; extreme weather has had massive impact on this area, a typhoon in Busan to be precise.”

“On it” I reply, leaving my office desk and hastily readying myself to leave the building.

It might seem strange that I am referred to as ‘Jack’, being a native Korean and all, but I felt it necessary to go under a new name since becoming more public as a journalist and reporter. My aim is to make a difference in the world with my deliveries of news stories, and those extra years I can get without maturing are precious to me.

One might say that I can’t make much difference through simply reporting natural tragedies such as the one you caught a glimpse of, but it’s still a part of my job that I take seriously. Though my main ambition is to make a difference and help make changes for the better, I find it just as important to stay in tune with the world around me. See this reporting opportunity that I’m catching the next flight to Busan for as something to fill the hours while I think about politics, ethics, the economy, relevant things that affect the modern person.

I suppose I could have gone into law to fight for justices, but there’s only so much someone in that area of work can do in the long term. Yes, they can put criminals behind bars, cutting them off from society, but that isn’t always what people truly pay attention to. As a reporter and journalist, I want to use my words to get through to people before anything too serious or damaging can happen.

I have several causes. I work for charities to help prevent and improve the state of poverty, but I also seek to help citizens of a first world country like ours. I want to improve the treatment of today’s youth, encourage employability, improve mental health, and give people a passion to fulfil in their lives by delivering news; if my voice about, say, the country’s health service is being reported to the nation and a viewer feels engaged and compassionate, then perhaps they will start their own cause.

Which reminds me… I need to grab my laptop from home on the way down there so I can look further into that new vacancy and its applicants. I’m flattered and so pleased that I’ve been handed this responsibility. I can confidently and hopefully pick out someone as enthusiastic as myself in this industry.

***

I can't stop thinking. Thinking about that call, I feel all kinds of things. I'm excited, I'm skeptical, I'm anxious, I'm giddy… This is it! I finally get to meet Y/n, but what if it's coincidence and this person just so happens to have the same name? I've had notice, but what if I set a bad impression and make a fool of myself? Nah, stop fretting Hoseok, it'll be fine, she'll just think you're goofy and cute if you trip over the table leg… again. She'll love you; it's written in the stars. Or rather, my arm.

I feel dizzy… As though I'm drunk, and I have a sore feeling in my throat. It literally feels like I've downed a swig of Jack Daniels. I've never wanted 4 days to pass by so fast; I just need to know. Have I found this person? Do I need to make new plans? Will I have to stick to my original plan?

I'm definitely not thinking straight; I need to clean this place up, give it a good once over. I can't believe that hasn't crossed my mind since finishing that phone call a day ago. Not that I’ve had much time since hanging up the phone yesterday evening up to this evening, what, with work and all that.

Come on Hoseok, there's no rush anyway; stop beating yourself up about it. You have a whole 4 days to pull yourself together. 4 more days to pick up a couple of extra shifts in fact… I guess I should pay since she’ll be helping me out in the long term with rent. But she must know what this meeting means, right? What if she thinks I’m trying too hard?

Damn, I certainly didn't expect to hear her voice before properly meeting her. I've essentially been given a 5 day warning, if this is the very same girl, that is.

I still just can't seem to shake this dizzy feeling...

***

It was hardly coincidence; his name is written on my wrist after all. There, since birth. I simply read through the ads in the paper to get a place and there it was and the end of one: “Contact Jung Hoseok at…”

I found myself dialling before my brain could decide if it was a good idea. Monday! I finally get to meet him this Monday… I guess there's that possibility of coincidence, but I guess at least it'll make a good story even if my name isn't on his wrist.

As I pour myself a little nightcap, I think how at this point in my life though, it would be nice to meet the remaining names. My mark age is almost 23 and I’ve only stumbled across one of my names in over two decades of living. School became lonely for me, having only met my enemy without my soulmate or ally to support me.

My enemy became particularly relentless upon the observation that I essentially had no one to truly connect with. Honestly, I barely dated or thought about acquiring a school soulmate; I found my studies much more important and getting too emotionally involved with people might have hindered my progress. What other option did I have when my confidence in my ability dropped to an all time low? I had a whole other language to learn with little support; I had my youth to become a fluent speaker for my soulmate, whoever that may turn out to be. Of course this resulted in myself becoming labelled as “nerd”, “dork”, and all the rest generally, but the enemy would always go that extra mile.

Whilst some would simply tell me I'm lame for opting to study over a house party and leave it at that, the enemy would really dig into me how I was a sad loner who tries too hard and would never achieve anything in life. Yes, I had to have therapy for the depression they elicited.

“Wow, do you ever get your nose out of the books?”

“Hey guys! If y/n is in a math class and the teacher offers to give extra help, calculate with of the following y/n’s nose is the furthest in or up: a) the text book, b) the kid sat next to her, or c) the teacher’s ass!”

“What is this trash anyway that you're reading? Why are you learning gibberish?”

“How does y/n even get by without at least a basic make up kit? It’s like she doesn't even wanna get laid…”

“Have you ever seen anything more pathetic?”

“Move over bitch and sit by the trash can where you belong.”

The enemy even ran for student council just to get one over me… Of course, they won, but in hindsight it was down to popularity over actual standards and policies.

I'm sure there's a reason that neither my soulmate nor ally were around to cushion each fall. It was never a shock either though that they remained strangers to me, given that my top two names are in Korean characters called Hangul and I was born and raised in an English speaking country. Transfer students came and went in the high school years, but never any under the names on my wrist. I guess I held some anticipation on, I counted, four occasions on which a Korean student moved over for their studies, but I was always strong enough to handle any disappointment I felt upon learning their names as they stood nervously in front of their new class.

I did however acquire a good friendship with one of the four students, Kim Namjoon, something of a prodigy and already being able to speak fluent English at a young age and having learned mostly through just watching movies and series’. That one year was probably the highlight year of my not so spectacular high school years. We communicated in either language and I could freely express my discomfort without anyone around me knowing what I was saying about them. I guess although his name has never been printed into my skin, I did regard him as an ally; a school ally, I could call it.

Let's hope that my greatest ally can follow in Namjoon’s footsteps and help me out a little.

“I look forward to meeting you for coffee, Jung Hoseok.”

[rakuraiwielder]

I'm working on your ask, but here's some for you: I, A, M, S, P, O, T

Ask prompt here: x

thanks puffin!! this is gonna be long and nostalgic eyy

I - HasTumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? 

I wouldn’t say “actively dislike” butthe toxicity of fandom on this website has sucked away most of my passion for Voltron lol. I used to really dig itthe first month or so after getting really into it when S2 aired. I still havean unfinished draft for a 7-parter rarepair fic //ey guess my fav duo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)// sitting in my folders. don’t think I’llbe touching it any time soon though. im rather burnt out from this fandom, evenif I do still enjoy watching all the new seasons thereafter.

another is StevenUniverse ah a. (but in its and my defence, I wasn’t really into it anywaysas compared to other fandoms. the songs are still good, but I haven’t beenkeeping up with the newer Steven bombs, one part because of motivation, andanother because the thought of going into the tags to reblog contentintimidates the heck out of me pffft)

A - Ships that youcurrently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone hasOTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

(puffin this question is gonnatake up half the ask oh god)oh bOY where do I start hahahaha. there’s so many aph and fe callbacks hahaha few otps aside I really have too manycrackpairs and platonic friendship ride-or-die squads I would die for. theseare only a few really relevant ones from the top of my head-

OTPS:

Norway/Vietnam (Hetalia) – alWAYS. i dont talk about and reblog much aph anymore but i still think about these two frequently. they were my first and closestthing ever to an actual otp in all my years of knowing what an otp was gosh Ihope to write about them again soon. their dynamics are the peak of mypreferences.

MU(avatar unit)/Silas (FE Fates) – thechildhood friends + loyal knight and liege trope + a pinch of memory loss wasnever really my thing, but guess there’s a first for everything ha h a ah a….silas is too pure for the angst I put him through im so sorry ಸ ل͜ ಸ

Berkut/Rinea (FE: SOV) – the second that one cutscene of these two played I got1000% more invested in the story pffft. anyways rinea may be top tier fav andberkut shit tier fav, and their story tragic as heck (and I would also arguethat he doesn’t deserve her), but their genuine and honest love for each otheramidst the incoming death flags gets me every time

707/MC (Mystic messenger) – honestly they can either be a really good platonicdynamic duo or a solid otp. purely from the perspective of my own MC, theycomplement each other well; perfect balance of light-hearted teasing and asolid wall of comfort for each other.

Ray-Saeran/MC (Mystic messenger) – ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(Other) Ships:

Seychelles/Iceland/HK (Hetalia) – they are good togetherromantically or platonically hahahaha. a good golden trio of kids

Russia/Vietnam (Hetalia) – their potential relationship and clashof character due to conflicting personalities fascinate me. a totally differentnoir vibe from norviet and one I hope to explore if I ever come back to aph

Nyx/Leo (FE Fates) – nyx ships are reallyrare but half of them are surprisingly sweet and poignant. Odin and Laslow tooare really sweet candidates to woo this jaded grandma’s heart.

MU/Laslow (FE Fates) – got to thank a wacky7-11 employee au dream I had for this one. but in the games their supportconversations are surprisingly thoughtful and low-key flirting which was notwhat I expected at all. wholesome.

Ham/Kai (MUxMU, FE) – remember when I said protag/protagships are the good stuff? yea h thatprincess tutu au is coming along swell

Alm/Celica (FE: SOV) – the rare main canon couple I love whodon’t die and get their happy ending (LOL this sounds really pathetic now thatI’ve said it)

Leon/Valbar (FE: SOV) – no one is surprised LOL. romantic orno, as long as leon is happy with where he stands with valbar and valbar ishappy with where he is im happy for them both

Conrad/Rinea (FE: SOV) – I know there are a couple of youreading this whos gonna give me that look but liste n; they could have met, and there is potential for them.(honestly this is just like another norviet situation where I put my 2 topfaves together for crackpair experimentation bUT IT WORKS I ASSURE YOU)

Zen/MC (Mystic messenger) – zen is so earnest that I can’t refute himhahaha. he also has a special seat in my mysme heart, since he was the firstroute I played and made me create content for the fandom proper

707/Jaehee (Mystic messenger) – they are rapidly gaining OTP status ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª aaaa nightmare flashbacks because justlike norviet they really are the rarest of crackpairs and have almost to no content(gonna get down to business and churn fic out one day). these two are moresimilar than they’d think too.

Cecil/Haruka (Utapri) – ahahaha a good ship from a guiltypleasure fandom

(Purely) Platonic:

Izuku/Iida/Ochako (BNHA) – the first golden trio of thisseries. I love them so much.

Vanderwood/MC (Mystic messenger) – they parallel each other. truly thebiggest ride-or-die duo I will support to the end of time

Zen/Yoosung (Mystic messenger) – zen is such a mother hen to yoosungwwwww truly wholesome

Chise/Ruth (Ancient Magus Bride) – platonic master/familiar-partner relationships where both of them care for each other so much to the point where they would die for the other are my one weakness. its the reason i love writing more fleshed-out pokemon aus and loyal dogs/animals in longer fics. anyways these two are good

M - Name acharacter that you’d like to have for a friend.

707. It would be a trip justknowing him. (apart from the memes. but my life is already 80% meme, honestlywhats the difference ahahaha aaa-) Just, I feel like it would be really fun tohang out with him and revel in his wackiness (even if that personality is afront, maybe one day when i finally get into his inner-circle of friends, I hopeto be privy and be a good listening ear to his truer, more sombre personality.)

On the other hand, myself-confidence and 2nd hand embarrassment will be directlyproportional to each other (And im 100% sure Seven is the kind of person whowill exploit that hAH)

S - Show us anexample of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Every relevant character inMysmes is either a type of asexual (greysexual etc.), or on various points ofthe bi-spectrum. Yeah; even self-proclaimed, “straight-laced” Zen lol.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (wealways need more ideas)

Vampire/Selkie AU ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

a selkie whose skin gets stolen and hidden from a human man is forced to become his bride and taken back to his village. there, to escape the stares of bigoted villagers and the clutches of her overbearing and possessive husband, she takes refuge in the only place he would not go; the old holy church.

only, she finds she isn’t the first to occupy this place of solitude. the master of the church notices her soon enough, and when vampire recognises the ancient weave of magic that flows within her, he appears; intrigued for something other than a fresh meal.

(basically a deviation from the standard vampire (romance-ish) novels lolol plot bunny hit me pre-Christmas eve dinner/yesterday and sofar im digging it. still planning the ship and fandom though; it might very easily be OC-based)

O - Choose a songat random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

since 1 is never enough, hereare 4 songs I was listening to recently:

Little Knights, Nem feat.Noire : Zen/MC(a zen-ish song through and through)

over and over, Yanagi Nagi : Saeran Choi + 707&MC(more saeran-centric with interpretative lyrics and referencing to both ray andunknown personas)

Finding something to do, HelloGoodbye : 707/Jaehee(fits their “don’t go where I can’t follow” dynamic haha ow.)

Life will Change, Shoji Meguro + Benjamin Franklin feat. Lyn Inaizumi : Kai(mui) or Ham(let)(honestly the entire persona 5 ost is massive fe fates protag feels)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons thatyou will die defending?

Not really. I’m a very flexible person when it comes tointerpretable lore and content, especially if it’s the type of HCs that thefandom collectively comes up with. Unless it’s a canon fact, I like to dabble orjust stay away from HCs in general. If I have to come up with some in my fics,then so be it. But most of the time these HCs are either super vague or onlyapply to the context in this particular piece or series of writing. Basically Idon’t mind switching HCs for charas frequently as long as it does notfundamentally change their own character. (HCs for hobbies and loves and habitsand relationships apart from their inner circle, etc. are all fine)

Honestly it just boils down to expectations lol I know myown limits, and I know not to be disappointed when canon updates end updebunking (popular) fandom HCs or my own.

[franeridart]

hey fran, i really love you & your art!! i fell in love w your bokuroteru tattoo au after reading it through, and then i found your bakushimas and i love them so much! you're actually the reason i found the motivation to start bnha lol and i'm really glad i did, so thx!

Thank you!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!!! For liking my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* and you’re most welcome, I’m super happy you’re liking it!!!!!

Anon said:I love dragons and I love kiri and I love your art so that post is like all three of my favourite things rolled into one, B L E S S.

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:your traditional sketches are so cool!!! i feel like it kinda adds like depth to it or something but like those are so neat what if you lined some

Thanks!! And I’ve actually thought about that, but I’m not much a fan of going back on stuff I already posted... it’s more probably I’ll just go back to the concept and draw more instead of lining those haha

Anon said:FRAN UR TRADITIONAL ART IS SO CUTE OMG ITS SO GOOD (also DRAGONSSSS)

GAH I’M SO DAMN HAPPY YOU GUYS ACTUALLY LIKED THOSE OH MY G O D S

Anon said:voltron third season is cOMING SOON AS IN TWO DAYS AAAAAA ARE U EXCITED?

Anon... my pal... my dear friend... I don’t know how to break this to you but... I haven’t even properly watched s2 yet...

Anon said:i started reading bnha bc i wanted to understand your art better, and I gotta say it's a really great series. thanks for inspiring me to read it. finished the manga today and my favs are definitely kirishima, tamaki, toshinori and fatgum. actually I knew kiri would be my fave anyway bc 75% of why i got interested in your bnha drawings was bc of him...he's just?? so good?? that aside your art is incredible and your characterizations of the bakusquad are perfect. you're super cool, keep doing you!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much oh my god ;A; I’m happy you decided to try it, I’m super happy you ended up liking it, and I’m indecently happy you actually do like Kirishima!!!!! BOI!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs all the love he can get, the pure son ;A;

Anon said:your art is so good wth!! everytime i get the notif that you posted i get so excited!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

Anon said:The fuck is shitty ab these traditional art pics. They're good, everything u do is good, don't play blind u perfect shit

Tough love! Sometimes this comes around my inbox too haha it’s fine anon, the reason why I rarely draw traditionally is that I never feel like I’m done with a drawing when I do, feel incomplete for however much details I put in because tbh there’s always more I can do on them, so with shitty I mostly meant “incomplete” lol going okay this is finished is something I don’t know how to do with traditional doodles hah

Anon said:yo what happened to your hand bro?

Therapy with my dermatologist that ends up giving me blisters on one of my fingers! It’s nothing serious, but makes arting sorta hard haha

Anon said:You should draw more kiribaku kids it had me really interested and brought out my happy

Should I 👀👀👀 an ugly word, let’s try with could next time shall we - that said, seems like yall really did like something that for me was a one time thing! I might get back on them in the near future, just because that post seems to have blown up way more than I had anticipated haha

Anon said:ahhhhhhh i absolutely love your art. i've been feeling very irritated lately and your kiribaku / kiribakushima art really helps calm me down.

This makes me super happy to know!!!! Oh my gods!!!!!! I hope life has stopped getting on your nerves in the couple days it took me to answer, anon!!!

Anon said:Headcanon: kirishima plays dream daddy

To be honest I don’t know anything about that game aside from “it’s a dating sim” and “it’s gay”, but either way to me it sounds more like something Kaminari would play hahaha

Anon said:Hey Fran! I recently caught up with the BNHA anime thanks to you (still have to get around to the manga) and I loveeee itt so much (pretty much adopted like 20 kids😂) have a lil question tho, in your AU/bnha comic thingy are Bakugo and Midoriya finally like... "okay" friends? Or is Bakugo still acting like he hates the poor boy? Thanks in advance and also absolutely love your art~😍

WEEEEHHHHYYYYYY I’m glad you decided to check it out, anon!!!!! But, I’m sorry I’m gonna need you to be more specific here since I don’t have any “ongoing” AU for that fandom atm - exactly which comic are you referring to?

Anon said:I've been restraining myself from going on Tumblr to once a month max for like a year or so now because it was exams and then I had a new year (MY LAST YEAR) of high school to worry about, and I know me. When I go on Tumblr, I stay on Tumblr for literally an entire day. Or more. And then I accidentally stumbled upon your stuff today and wasted (thoroughly enjoyed) a day of scrolling through your art and asks. I never knew I shipped bakushima so hard until today. Thank you for your beautiful art.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m so happy you decided to use your one day for my blog omfg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so so much for this ask, it made me really super happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you know the song that is playing when endeavor is fight the winged nomu? ive tried looking for it but I can't seem to find it. thanks if you know it. its fine if you don't. btw you're amazing

Eeep sorry anon this ask is so old omfg I hope you found your answer somewhere else - also because I’m actually the worst person in the world to ask about soundtracks orz so, like, double sorry o

Anon said:A cute kirikamibaku thought to hopefully help cheer you as you wait for your hand to heal again: the three of them going out to a restaurant and Denki trying to subtly convince the other two to order something he wants to try when he can't decide what he wants to eat. Whenever he succeeds, he ends up eating just as much off their plates as his own.

This has actually been cheering me up for days now so thank you !!!!!!! Also because I’ve been thinking about Bakugou giving in but making it super spicy out of spite and honestly that’s the funniest thing hahahaha

Anon said:MATSUHANA🌸🌸🌸🌸

IT’S INDEED A SHIP THAT EXISTS! A GREAT ONE TOO!!

Anon said:I can't stop thinking abt that one anon that sent you "Batsuki Katsuki" and I'm losing my fuckin mind over it oh my god but anyway hello I love ur art I hope you have a good day ( ˘ ³˘)♥

THANK YOU!!!! I hope you’ll have a great month, anon!!!! *O* and also tbh same I randomly remember it and laugh by myself thank you anon for that gem I’m never getting over it haha

Anon said:I live for your bakukirikami art. I never had an ot3 until these boys, and they're just so so good. Do you think any of them ever gets insecure/jealous about the other two's bond in the relationship? I feel like if anyone would it might be Denki? But I dunno, because the way you portray them I like to think that they all actually just love watching each other be cute and bond and stuff.

Yeah that’s how I see them!  You know how, like... when you’re friends with two people and they’re friends with each other and you look at them being silly together and you’re like boy I’m so glad I have both of you in my life and that I can have you both at the same time and that you can be silly and adorable and happy together too - that’s exactly how I portray the bkk, only it’s romantic instead of platonic haha

Anon said:Your art has inspired me to write some BakuKiri / KiriBaku bless!!!! I'm also writing KiriBakuKami as well, thank you so much for the gorgeous art!

THIS IS THE BEST SORT OF ASK!!! THE BEST!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! It's the anon that asked about posting your art online for the first time. Thank you so much for answering my questions! That means a lot to me. I'll definitely take your advice. You made me feel a lot better about posting my stuff online. I'm gonna go ahead and draw the things that make me happy and,, hopefully I'll find people that like it like me!

AAAAHHHHHH I’m happy I could help!!! And I’m sure you will, anon!!!!! I hope you’ll be able to have a great time in whatever community you decide to be part of *O*

Anon said:I was feeling slightly uck but then I was like "you know what would make you feel better" and I just started scrolling through your blog and HONESTLY you are a blessing I feel a lot better and lighter and looking at your blog is literal self care for me now I love you and I hope you have a fantastic day

Sob thank you so much for this ask ;A; aaahhhhhhhh!!!! I’m so happy I can help you like that and this made me feel great back when I first read it (and also now that I’m rereading it, honestly!!!) so thank you for making my days better too, anon!!!!

[imagine-that-haikyuu]

one-year anniversary countdowns: our favorite scenarios/headcanons we’ve written

our first blogaversary is coming up on sunday, and we decided to celebrate by counting down our top 10 favorite pieces we’ve written, both of our own and of each other’s. 

today’s post is our own favorite works that we’ve done for this blog!

may

10. Demon King!Oikawa falling in love with a human - i really barely know anything about demon king!oikawa so this was really tough and worrying for me to write (because i’m a stickler for details and i hate mis-characterizing anyone) but i am so glad it turned out okay. and i really like how it reads too lol 9. #15 - snuggling on the couch (with bokuto) - this is my first real drabble that i didn’t fuck up lol. as you guys know, i like my works drawn-out, lengthy and detailed. so being able to actually write something as cute as that thing and only in so many words made me immensely proud of myself lol. it put me out of my comfort zone and made allowed me to try something new 8. Close Call (with Kuroo) - this was fun to write! i generally have a bad time writing NSFW (what even is anatomy lol) but writing in that interrupted bit made my day lol 7. the Superhero AU (with Kuroo and Tsukishima) - ah yes. the first fic that i had mistaken for another request. i was surprised how easy it was to write this ngl. i had so much fun thinking up the superpowers and the dorky and corny names. i tend to steer away from superhero fics because of how hard it is to get everything straight lol, but this was so much fun to do 6. Pregnancy Scare (with Iwaizumi, Tsukishima, and Kuroo) - okay so i legit had a lot of fun with this one, but for the sake of there being 3 characters to write for, i cut kuroo’s waaaaay short. i liked thinking up different situations for this one, though, and i really hope all the emotions came through well enough 5. Decorating the Baby’s Room (with Oikawa) - so as i said on the post, i legit could not get the ideas of volleyballs as planets out of my head. writing it also made me remember my cousin’s old bedroom, which was filled with murals of disney princesses and spongebob and dora that my aunt hand-painted herself. it was a nice trip down memory lane while writing. 4. Fighting for the Best Seat (with Bokuto) - so. much. fun. writing this thing!!!! it’s a legit dream of mine to go to an animal cafe without getting attacked by allergies lol, so this is the closest i can get to that dream for now 3. Hitman!Kuroo falling in love - it’s dark, it’s angsty, and it’s just the type of fic i love to write, despite having such a hard time during the writing process itself lol. the terminology had me searching for “parts of a gun” and “pistol” on my office’s computer so i’m wondering what they must think of me now hahahaha 2. New Girl (with Ushijima) -  this was so easy to write you cannot believe. seriously i think i finished it in two hours???? the idea came to me so suddenly and i just started typing it out and before i knew it, i was writing tendou being a supportive troll friend at the end! i seriously love this one omg 1. #42 - netflix marathon (with Kuroo) - so this is the drabble that i accidentally made into a fic. but for the life of me, this is by far my favorite one. i love sense8 and i love kuroo and i love binge watching shows so it seemed like i basically wrote myself in there. but seriously, this one is my ultimate fave of the ones i’ve written for this blog

rachel lauren (i had a few in multi-character ones that stood out, so those characters are bolded for emphasis)

10.  S/O Sending Memes at 3 AM (Shiratorizawa starters + Semi) - my first “viral” post. aside from that, i had a blast writing this. my friends call me the resident memeologist, so getting to dig into my embarrassingly vast knowledge of memes and how the boys would react to them for this one was a lot of fun. 9.  Friend Dumped (Tsukishima, Oikawa, Nishinoya) - if we talk outside of this blog, you probably know that it took me a very, very long time to warm up to oikawa. i only started liking him a little bit after i made this blog, but this is the request that made me enjoy him completely 8. Getting Back Together (Kuroo) - the request that launched a thousand kuroo/manager!reader ideas for me. i’m a sucker for broken-up couples still very much in love getting back together (i can’t help it! i’m a romantic!) 7. Fight (College!AU-ish) (Kuroo, Iwaizumi, Yamaguchi, Suga) - i love writing angst, especially where characters don’t die because death isn’t the only root of sadness, surprisingly. salt aside, yamaguchi’s was definitely my favorite of this group because i really examined his character for it. suga’s is up there too. all of them are, but these two were my favorite of the group 6. Interrupted Proposals (Valentine’s Day 2k17) (Ukai) - i mean, it’s a proposal request with my husband? if you don’t think i savored every minute writing this self-indulgent scenario, then i don’t know what to tell you. 5. Buying Condoms from Sakanoshita (Karasuno boys) - other than this being our most viral post, i had so much fun writing these. i still crack myself up reading some of them (noya’s, kags’, and tsukki’s especially) 4. Proposing (Kuroo, Asahi, Tanaka) - when my cousin proposed to his girlfriend-now-fiancee, i knew i had to use their story for something because it was so darn cute. it ended up fitting tanaka really well, and i’m so glad because i love that boy. and asahi’s was just....really cute 3. Ukulele |  Morning Cuddles and Kisses (Ushijima) - it’s a tie for these two because they’re both fluffy and softboy toshi is a weakness of mine. actually, can i put all of my ushijima requests here??? because i feel so warm rereading them sometimes 2.  A Happy Accident (Birthday 2k17) - i have to thank the anon who requested this, because this was essentially a plot point in that ukai/reader WIP i have so it forced me to write it. granted, there are some differences that i’m going to modify for the fic, but of course my husband was going to be up high on this list and this was so cute. i was more than happy to write it 1. Model Girlfriend (Asahi) - when i think about the work i’ve done on this blog, this is always the first one that comes to mind. i really do think this is the strongest writing i’ve filled a request with and i’ve got some decent ideas for asahi and the reader character for other potential pieces i’d write about these two, request or otherwise

and that’s a wrap on this top 10~

tomorrow we’re going to count down our favorite of each other’s works and then on sunday, we’re going to post a special announcement so stayed tuned for that!

- the admins

[halvatir]

Hello mizu! Its okay if you're too busy/don't want to do it but could you do the more detailed character ask for flanel and randel? Curious anon here, have a good day!

hey there anon, hoping you’re having a good day too ( ᐛ )و - are you talking about this ask??? i’m not sure what you’re talking about but bless these kinds of tumblr blogs, here u go

btw the likes/dislikes are in reference to my interpretations for them, the fav/least fav moment are in reference in-game since y’know… these guys don’t exactly have ‘moments’ minus… idk, whoever the devs decide to feature in the updates (゜▽゜;)

flamel (… flanel lol i thought u were referring to another chara)

what i like about them: perfectly self-aware of himself: knows what his strengths + capabilities are and also his weaknesses + flaws, along with his morals + ideals + character. nope, any form of psychological bullshit won’t work on him. he’s absolutely aware of what he’s capable of doing and he’s not in denial about his shortcomings at all… what he does with that knowledge and what he plans to do about it is more of the question.

what i dislike about them: while flamel has a condescending air about him, he actually does not look down on people and he acknowledges others’ capabilities + character, even if they’re better than his own. that’s the problem: he knows or at least he has a general idea of a person’s capabilities + character, and what he dislikes the most is if it is not put to good use. without mercy, he can really say stinging observations about one’s failures and fears straight to their faces - the worst part is? it hurts, bc it’s true. he’s insensitive, but you can’t exactly deny his words either.

favorite moment: when i get his card lol bc i really like his card art??? not the mvp + biochemist one, the regular one - like… daMN??? i dig, he probably has the best regular card among the bio mobs imo

least favorite moment: ??? have u fought this fucker in-game??? no??? lucky u then, cecil’s still the queen bitch but mAN is flamel also a pain to fight, the last time i played ended up with my party dying partially bc of him and his clones

a situation with this character that i want to see explored more: not exactly a situation but his backstory??? or okay, something with his family - i know he’s nicholas flamel’s son but what about his mom? or what if: his parents announce that he’s about to have a sibling like??? what, i’m like around my 20s already then u tell me i’m gonna be an older bro i am questioning ur nightly activities??? cue a much needed slap from his mom lol

an interesting au for this character: lol i’d probably like to see flamel in a soulmate au where he feels the same emotions his partner does like wow he’s really irritated at it at first bc really why is this person so damned emotional / feel so much but eventually he’s able to compartmentalize his partner’s emotions from his own and he also takes note of the emotions his partner experiences in a journal daily, complete with time frames/lines??? that’s sort of sweet??? it also becomes a habit for him to look at the journal at the end of the day and think of reasons why his partner may have felt this way at each of the recorded times??? what’s funny tho is that despite the fact that he’s been taking note of his partner’s emotions for so long (probably middle school up to college?), he’s never gotten the urge to discover who his soulmate is, or to try find said person. sorry soulmate, you’re the one who’s gonna take initiative.

a crossover: top of my head, probably a fullmetal alchemist one lol - he’s probably some big shot alchemist then surprise surprise, one of his transmutation attempts fucked up him up pretty badly leading him to the gate of truth. he wakes up feeling ‘empty’ only to figure out that somehow his parts of him have taken the form of homonculi… and not just any kind of homonculi - they introduce themselves as a part of him, the sins in him that has made him the man he was today. they even call him father and take different human forms (lol, aka they take the form of his floormates, take a pick who represents each sin) - the revelation is in his travels tho while he’s trying to get to the homonculi, is that flamel himself embodies a sin, the seventh sin that completes all of them (try guessing what, lol). ooooh, this could probably be good if i actually fix this but yeah, there u go, it goes somewhere along those lines.

otp: none, actually. 

other ships: kathryne // trentini

brotp: randel // alphoccio

notp: lady tanee hahAHAHA jk no seriously idk just ignore my first entry pls it was supposed to be a joke… maybe…

assortment of headcanons

surprise bitch, he’s the best chef in the biolabs but he ain’t gonna cook for anybody but himself - the only time he isn’t hung up on precise measurements + time is when he’s cooking

has a pair of reading glasses, uses them often and keeps them stored away neatly in his desk complete with a wipe - he always makes sure there’s adequate lighting + his reading glasses are present when he reads stuff, he sure cares for his eyes a lot

he… surprisingly follows a lot of good health practices - he always takes 15 - 20 min break if he’s been doing something for a straight hour (patrol + battles are exempted), drinks 8 glasses of water daily, sleeps early, etc.

his hands are always gloved - takes ‘em off only when he’s about to sleep. his right hand is pristine but his left hand has a strangely shaped burn mark that runs diagonally across his palm - it looks old.

he looks prim and proper but honestly his room is nuts - what’s more confusing is that he isn’t bothered by his room’s state at all + he knows exactly where his stuff is when he needs it, like… dude… how do u even know where to find ur shit in a warzone called ur room, teach me ur ways master

randel (oooh this is new)

what i like about them: he’s a very resolute yet flexible person: definitely not the type of person who’d go second-guessing on his decisions or would waver in times of crisis, but he’s not also the person who’d insist on pushing on with the initial goal/objective when difficulties or contradictions arise - he takes in the present situation + other factors & encountered facts and weighs them against the supposed goal/objective. from there he determines what he thinks would be the best course of action to take, and it takes him only a short time to do so even under pressure.

what i dislike about them: true to his class, he’s too self-sacrificing??? which is like… dude c’mon it’s probably an honor for the crusader line to die in the act of protecting others but still if u die, who’s going to protect those who can’t protect themselves? like yeah, he understands that too but he’s more inclined to believe that it’s better for him to be left behind/sacrificed/die in exchange for the lives of the majority. well - it’s either he’s that self-sacrificing or sadly, when weighed against the lives of the people he must protect, he doesn’t place that much value on his own life.

favorite moment: the feel when u don’t get his attention, seriously. pls let me sneak about ur floor in peace - i swear i went to church so pls stop with the grand + holy crosses

least favorite moment: fighting him is torture bc if rms data is right, 478,745 hp, man - he has the longest hp out of his floormates… and that’s just a regular randel… the paladin one has 3,870,000 and the mvp one a whopping 6,870,000… since his life is that fucking long, say goodbye to trying not to be mobbed by the other ghosts bc ur still busy trying to kill him, damn

a situation with this character that i want to see explored more: same like flamel, knowing his backstory would be A+ but… hmm, maybe something way back like his origins story or something, the story of why and what made him decide to be a swordsman/crusader. y’know, that’s if we’re assuming that he’s not from a family line of swordsmen/crusaders or something. idk, sometimes the thing is with characters who are in line with a faith/ideal is that i’m interested in what made them devote their lives to that certain faith/ideal in the first place.

an interesting au for this character: oooh, just… idk, a modern au where he suddenly ends up taking care of the bio2 kids who are orphans. he’s never mentioned it to anyone, not even to the people of his workplace who happen to be his friends/co-workers like for 4 years already. therein lies the problem: his friends on separate occasions have seen him with at least 2 or 1 of the kids. they all know randel isn’t married. the hair colors (cenia and laurell) + other features don’t match up. some distinctly heard a kid call him dad/daddy/father (see: wickebine, armaia, the rest respectively). conclusion: it’s either a) he’s babysitting as a part time job bc goddamn rekenber’s a cheap son of a bitch that won’t give him a raise, b) those kids are his cousins or something and are probably so fond of him that they see him as a father figure, or c) illegitimate chiLDREN FROM SOME ONE NIGHT STANDS ALRIIIGHT SCANDAL IN THE OFFICE. chaos ensues even before poor randel has a chance to explain himself.

a crossover: lol, idk… a shingeki one maybe where randel’s probably the head of the survey corps, watching over our fated trio (probably flamel/celia/chen for his floor, bio2&3′s are a mix&match). for some time, the trio don’t see him but strangely enough when the trio get old enough to join the corps, they discover that randel is considered a scum and a traitor to humanity by all three army regiments (survey, garrison, & military) which is strange bc randel is very well known and respected by humanity within the walls, wow. when the trio get deeper into his case, it turns out that randel vehemently fought against a group of scientists that were looking for human subjects for the ‘sake of saving humanity by using present resources’ - the three of them were seen as part of those potential resources and were eyed upon by the scientists were they were already young, along with other people from different parts of the walls (the other bio mobs). what happened to randel, however, is left in the air… was he even still alive, or had something important happened leading him to be branded as the traitor of humanity? politics, religion, science, drama, and titans (removers maybe lol) ensue.

otp: again, no solid one.

other ships: ????? surprising revelation is that i don’t exactly ship randel romantically, wow even i just discovered that now

brotp: his floormates - although honestly i think that one way or another, randel could be on everyone’s good side once they just get around to talking, probably

notp: zealotus oKAAAAY no seriously pls make me stop placing random mobs in this section

assortment of headcanons:

very, very religiously open + tolerant. he shows a lot of interest on other faiths and is knowledgeable even of various religious practices asides from his own. of course, he’s still steadfastly loyal to what he believes in first and foremost, but he feels no need to impart his beliefs to those who don’t / are reluctant to believe. he isn’t the type you’d see to be preaching about his faith either, that is unless you ask.

in line with the hc above, his tolerance also extends to people and their character + personalities, but he isn’t too tolerant to the point that he’d rationalize questionable actions + motives. he may have the patience of a saint, but no one’s so sure if they want to see him snap / test his patience to see what makes him tick. throwing bullshit about his faith doesn’t work on him, actually.

he’s pretty crafty - he pretty much taught himself other ways to help people, from practical stuff like sewing to more complicated stuff like woodwork + metal works, wow. he’s basically the ideal useful guy in survival crises… minus the fact that he can’t cook that well lol

he has the worst drinking tolerance among the bio3 + bio4 residents - the sign that he’s drunk is when his face shows more expression than usual + his posture breaks (the paladin randel card art lol). nobody knows bc damn son, he has a pretty good poker face and he can hold it for a really long time

... the only reason he grew his hair long is bc of a promise to his mother. he vowed that if ever he was to fall in love (and it was reciprocated) / find the person he would devote his life to, that would be the only time he would cut his hair, and his mother would do the honors... but... yeah... wow, i made myself feel sad

this was a lot of fun - thanks a lot for the ask anon, and i welcome your curiosity anytime! (　＾∇＾) i’m always in for a distraction from work lol

[lightofheze]

newbie in this fandom

Okay, soooo I am always watching and reading the great fanfics/headcanon/smut that are here about FFXV and I have to say that I am a big fan of many great writers that are here in Tumblr <3

I only have send a few messages to @nifwrites ,because she was the first one that get me in this stuff hahahaha There is one thing that I really wanted to do since I get so immerse in this world, is… To write a fanfic (or maybe just a Drabble) but there is one problem, English is not my first language, I’m Mexican and I am studying languages but of course, my English is so shitty xD That’s why I decided to present you a few headcanons about one of my oc’s, is a female and she is the couple of Gladio in my… AU? I believe that’s the correct saying of this kind of things (if is not, just tell me!). Her name is Evelia Aldercapt… Yep, she is the “lovely” daughter of our emperor, surprised? I guess not xD

Let’s start this.

- They meet in the 10 years of darkness, when Cor ask for the help of our big guy for a mission in Galdin Quay (of course, he accept) - The Marshall didn’t tell him about the details of the mission, but apparently they just had to protect something. -When they get there, they found the old friend of the late King Regis and Cor, Weskham with a feminine figure - It was their mission, they need to protect her meanwhile they travel to the cold lands of Niflheim. - Of course, Gladio just start to hate her when he hear her name. - Evelia didn’t try to be a “sweet princess” in front of that big guy - They hate each other. - The time to get to the crown city of Niflheim was a full month of traveling - yada, yada, the story is simple, they get to hate each other during all of the journey, but when they get to the crown city, the things start to change between this two - Gladio see the true nature of this “enemy”, just like Elevia starts to see in a different way the King shield - and he had to be honest… She was a gorgeous woman. - so did she say without thinking to a few maids from the palace, when she notice what just happen, she just hide her red face in her hands - laaaaaater they get more close and… Well, let’s say that maybe Niflheim gets a new royal couple ;3

Or not? *dramatic pause*

Okay, okay, let me clear some things. - This happens four years after Noctis disappear in the crystal - Evelia is three years older than Gladio - and she likes to be called Eve by her friends, of course, in the beginning she didn’t let Gladio to call her like that, so he just call her “Aldercapt” or “daemon”

That’s all, I guess xD feel free to ask anything, to correct my shitty English AND to leave critics.

Now, I will tag this amazing people that inspire me to wrote this @cupnoodle-queen , @themissimmortal , @blindbae ,(I know that this is not best thing but, I hope you like it? Maybe? Who knows xD)

[hiironofusha]

I'm a little confused with your headcanons regarding your muse. You say he's Prompto's brother, but he's also the prince of Niflheim, but he's Verstael's son, not Aldercapt... but he has Aldercapts last name... but he's actually Loqi Tummelt? But he can summon the Armiger, but if he doesn't know about his history then does he know he was blessed by the Crystal? Wouldn't that be a telling sign? It feels very confusing, I'm just asking for clarification. :)

Hey~! I’m sorry I make my muses so complicated usdkctyasdhvtfdrk. I need to stop that OTL Technically this prince is still in development too. I mean I barely started RPing as him because one of my muses took over haha. I also made this blog I think around the middle of last month or late last month? But anyway, allow me to try to explain the best way I can. 

Warning though: This post is going to get long, because I have no idea how to shorten things sometimes

Also once again for those that may be reading this, all of this is completely headcanon/AU-based, because “canonically” we literally know nothing about the supposed Prince of Niflheim and he never made it to the final project. Like I said before in my previous post in regards to the whole “Loqi situation”, if Loqis out there feel uncomfortable about this or feel like our muses may not be able to interact due to complications, we don’t have to 100% go with my headcanon that Hamlet is the “real” Loqi. And hell “Loqi” and “Tummelt” can probably be common names in Niflheim lol. They could coincidentally both be named “Loqi Tummelt” cuz it could possibly be a common name in Niflheim haha. You can also unfollow me if you feel like your muse really wouldn’t be able to interact with mine due to the complications haha.

Another warning: Things might get dark and messed up and become kind of disturbing, and there will be mentions of blood.

This Loqi here, AKA this muse, is the real Loqi. He was born before the Loqi we know in the game. He’s not the same Loqi we know in the game. This Loqi was pretty much adopted by Iedolas and he gave him the name “Hamlet Aldercapt”. Iedolas was aware that Verstael was going to have a son and he and his wife had already given him a name: Loqi. Loqi RPers that follow me can think whatever they want and I will respect their portrayal and headcanons, but for me when I started working on this muse I tended to headcanon the Loqi we see in the game is either actually one of Verstael’s failed experiments that didn’t get turned into an MT or a daemon, or Verstael adopted him and knowing his wife (Emilia) wanted to name their to-be-born son Loqi, he named him Loqi Tummelt. He was going to give him his lastname, but despite becoming a literal crazy mad scientist and probably did other horrible things, he did regret abandoning Emilia and their unborn son (at the time) behind, so he wanted something to remember his wife, I guess? Haha. And so the Loqi Tummelt we see in the game, Verstael gave him the name Loqi Tummelt so he wouldn’t forget his wife, Emilia Tummelt. Also why did Verstael abandon his wife and his at the time unborn son? I had said in one of my other previous headcanons that she was drugged to become a daemon later by Verstael, but then I had a thought to change it since it’s a canon fact that Verstael actually use to be a man that wanted peace for the world of something. Anyway, there was a contagious naga daemon they ran into that carried a disease and it was about to attack Verstael. When that naga daemon was about to attack him, Emilia pretty much took the hit and was bitten by that daemon. Verstael knew that when she had been bitten by that daemon that carried a contagious daemonic disease, she would eventually turn into a daemon too. Emilia was also 6 months pregnant with Hamlet AKA this Loqi. I’m gonna call him Hamlet from now on to lessen the confusion of having two Loqis haha.

When Emilia was 8 ½ months pregnant with Hamlet, Verstael abandoned her in that ice cave(?) at that waterfall place where you can fight that Midgarsormr monster. He was there in hopes he would be able to seek Ramuh’s aid so he could be guided to the correct path for peace or something like that, because Verstael was actually a man that wanted peace until things happened (and either Iedolas or Ardyn got to his head and now Verstael is a literal mad scientist). He also wanted to seek aid to cure his wife from the daemonic disease she got from getting bitten by a contagious naga daemon (Luna wasn’t born at the time and there was no oracle, and Ardyn had been stripped of his healing abilities). He saw Emilia had already become literally blinded from the disease that took over her. Half of her face had also become affected, turning slightly black/gray from the disease (oh shit, sounds like the starscourge disease). This is where Verstael leaves her and unborn Hamlet behind, because he knew she was going to become a daemon and he was also afraid of the possibility that she would give birth to a literal daemonic child, because you know, if you’ve become contagious and you’re pregnant, the disease can actually spread to your unborn child too.

A month later, Hamlet is born in the cave that Verstael abandoned him and Emilia in. After she gave birth, of course she would be weak and frail, and so because she had become frail from giving birth, she then became a naga daemon.

Coincidentally, Ardyn was passing by this cave because he wanted to speak with Ramuh for whatever reason, despite knowing Ramuh may not want to talk to him because the Gods/Astrals probably do not like him since he literally became impure from healing others from the scourge in the past long long ago, he hears the sound of a baby crying and finds it. He was aware Verstael was going to have a son, and he did meet Emilia before. Ardyn actually never planned on doing anything to Emilia because he saw no point in it, I’d just like to point that out, and so he literally never did anything bad to her (yay). They’d talk sometimes as acquaintances, but not as much. He was also aware that Emilia was pretty much affected by the scourge, thanks to the contagious naga daemon that bit her (Emilia told him that). So while seeing Emilia as an unconcious naga daemon, and seeing a newborn boy beside her, Ardyn figured out that the newborn boy there is Emilia and and Verstael’s son. Now here comes the blood mention. When Ardyn found “Hamlet”, he literally saw in blood the name “Loqi T” on the baby. Emilia wrote that on her baby with her own blood in hopes someone would find this child she named when Emilia became no more. I won’t dive into how she wrote it with her own blood because even for me the thought of it is EXTREMELY disturbing, but hey, it’s for the sake of story development, but I’m still not gonna dive into how exactly she wrote “Loqi T” on her baby in her own blood. She didn’t use a knife or any sort of sharp object, I’ll tell you guys that though. BUT ANYWAY… Ardyn figured the “T” was suppose to spell “Tummelt”, but Emilia had already fallen unconcious as she tried to finish writing “Tummelt”. So Ardyn figured the baby was suppose to be named “Loqi Tummelt”. Emilia’s lastname is Tummelt, and Verstael’s is Besithia.

Here’s where this Loqi becomes “Hamlet Aldercapt”:

Ardyn took the newborn kiddo back to Niflheim and he actually did take care of the newborn kiddo a bit with nursing milk formula he bought at a store while he was still in Lucis lol. When he returned to Niflheim, he presented the newborn kiddo to Verstael, informing him in his manipulative tone of voice that Emilia had given birth to the kiddo and he shouldn’t have left them behind. Verstael examines the kiddo, seeing he is a human boy and not a daemon (yay). However, he thinks that considering his wife was infected, his son may be even part-daemon, because of the daemonic disease his wife had been infected with. Unfortunately he does have a little bit of daemon blood in him because of that, but no one knows if it’s infected or not. No one literally bothered to check. Even Ardyn, but Ardyn gets a feeling that it might be, but who knows? I wanna leave it up toothers and even myself to make things fun haha. Ardyn also informs that Emilia turned into a naga daemon and is most likely no more of who she was before when she was a human. She probably won’t remember when she was a human, Ardyn assumed, and he tells Verstael he should “reunite” with his wife for the better, but then Verstael is like “Nope. If she can’t remember me or our son, I can’t go. I’m totally not scared boo hoo,” and starts getting all edgy on Ardyn hahahaha. Ardyn pretty much is like “Okay, I’ll just give him to Iedolas. Bye loser.” So Ardyn goes to Iedolas and informs him about the whole situation where he found Hamlet, his mom turned into a daemon, his dad apparently doesn’t want him because he’s afraid of his son, yadi yadi yada. And then Ardyn thinks “Heyyyy, we could use a Prince for this nation to you know, defeat the other nations and he can bring us some hostages that we can make daemons and MTs out of, because Verstael needs experiments. That might be cruel though, but it’s not up to me. I’d take him but unfortunately I’m unable to raise a child anymore without being such an asshole that I am, and I do not want to be responsible for how I raise him.” Iedolas considers the thought of raising Hamlet to be a prince and to also probably screw with his thoughts later when he grows so he can be in second place to take Niflheim’s throne when it’s time for Iedolas to go, and to also pretty much guard the crystal, lead an army of regular soldiers and MTs, etc. Basically Iedolas wants to use him to do his dirty work, so he decides to adopt this Loqi and give him the name “Hamlet Aldercapt”.

When Hamlet turned a year old as a baby, he had basically been blessed by the crystal to actually become Niflheim’s new Emperor when it’s time for Iedolas to go, which had also granted him the ability to summon multiple weapons like the Lucis Caelum bloodline. I like to headcanon that only royal bloodlines can summon multiple weapons and that it’s up to them if they want to grant their followers the ability to summon weapons as well. Hamlet doesn’t know he has these powers until he turned 8 years old, he was mentored by Ardyn on how to control his abilities, but at the same time it was sort of manipulation so that he could end the Lucis Caelum bloodline as well as the Nox Fleuret bloodline and the Aldercapt bloodline. In a way this was so there would be no more monarchy and war, and everyone could live in peace without monsters or something. In reality even if there was world peace, there would probably still be monsters out there somewhere. Hamlet has no idea that he was blessed with the crystals powers, and Ardyn doesn’t really tell him about it but just tells him that he was born and blessed with it, but he doesn’t tell him the crystal blessed him with those powers.

NOW FINALLY, ABOUT THE WHOLE THING ABOUT THE LOQI WE KNOW IN THE GAME AND PROMPTO:

The Loqi we see in the game, I tend to headcanon he was abandoned somewhere in Niflheim by his own family too, and I guess luckily he was found by Verstael. While Verstael was feeling the guilt of abandoning his wife and kid because he feared his wife was going to become a daemon and that their son was probably going to become one too, he adopted that Loqi, and even before Hamlet was born, they had already decided to name him Loqi, but who’s lastname was he going to have? Verstael’s or Emilia’s? Going back to the thought on Emilia, in the end she most likely started to hate her husband for abandoning her while she was frail as well as their son who was unborn at the time, she gave him her lastname, Tummelt. Meanwhile Verstael, he still wanted a part of his wife with him, and even though the Loqi we see in the game may or may not be related to Verstael by blood, he names this abandoned kid he fount “Loqi Tummelt”, so now I guess there’s two Loqis lmao. The Loqi who is actually a false prince, considering that he’s actually Verstael and Emilia’s kid by blood, and a Loqi that Verstael found abandoned somewhere in Niflheim.

As for Prompto, we all know he was a test tube baby or something like that, but before I get into that, warning: this might get disturbing. I’m assuming “canonically” Verstael made him with his own DNA in a test tube or something like that once again. He had a bit of Emilia’s DNA on him too. I won’t get that deep into it because I even find it quite disturbing, but I have it in my head for logical development reasons lol. I’ll just say though that Verstael and Emilia did do the do, and the rest of the thought is up to you guys on how he still had some of Emilia’s DNA on him. BUT ANYWAY, so Verstael made Prompto with his and Emilia’s DNA in a test tube thing. In reality, I hate to say, but if we consider that Emilia is pretty much dead and she turned into a daemon, that would leave Prompto motherless and technically if we consider that he was a test tube baby, he is “canonically” motherless, because Emilia is pretty much dead, but even with that I still like to think that the naga daemon we saw in that one cave is Hamlet’s mother as well as Prompto’s mother because if she were still alive and if life hadn’t kicked her ass and Prompto was born from her, she’d definitely be his mother too, making him and Hamlet related by blood. SO ANYWAY AGAIN, how is Prompto related to Hamlet? Because Verstael is actually Hamlet’s dad too, but Hamlet doesn’t know that and he doesn’t know that he’s actually not of royalty, and as we know, Prompto was a test tube baby made by Verstael’s DNA (and Emilia’s), which would make Verstael Prompto’s dad too, and that would make Hamlet and Prompto related, biologically. I guess considering Verstael had adopted Loqi (not Hamlet-Loqi), that’d make Loqi their brother too, even though they’re not related by blood at all to Loqi, but Verstael adopted him, so therefore Loqi is Hamlet and Prompto’s brother too.

TL;DR

I SUCK AT EXPLAINING, BUT HAMLET HAD A FUCKED UP LIFE. VERSTAEL ABANDOEND HIM BEFORE HE WAS BORN, ADOPTED THE LOQI WE SEE IN-GAME AND NAME HIM AFTER HIS AT THE TIME UNBORN SON AND ALSO GAVE HIM HIS WIFE’S LASTNAME TO KEEP A PART OF HER IN HIS THOUGHTS OR SOMETHING, AND HE MADE PROMPTO IN A TEST TUBE WITH HIS AND EMILIA’S DNA, AND THEREFORE HAMLET, LOQI, AND PROMPTO ARE RELATED. Hamlet is the oldest, Loqi is the middle, and Prompto is the youngest.

I’m sorry my muse is so complicated and it’s my fault that I make everything complicated ;^; But I hope this starts to make sense????? Hamlet pretty much knows nothing about his true identity with being the “real” Loqi Tummelt and that he’s the son of a regular but evil mad scientist (Verstael), and the son of a regular nurse (Emilia). Hamlet is not of royal blood at all and neither are his family, but the crystal chose him to become the new Emperor of Niflhiem, because Iedolas was going to die eventually and deemed Hamlet would be worthy. Hamlet would probably be the first non-royal to have become an Emperor for Niflheim.