#i hope you enjoy but also i feel like these scenes illustrate why I wouldn't be able to write this fic

[fortune-maiden]

Hi again! THANK YOU SO MUCH for answering my ask! While I'd absolutely love if it could be a whole fic, I know that's probably too much to ask for. So, if you don't mind, can I ask for an interaction between swd and lw. Or maybe something about jing wen like you mentioned in the tags of the original post, since that sounded so interesting? Again, TYSM!!!

Anon, you have no idea what you've unlocked! xD

(I was trying to avoid Jing Wen in the last post because I thought no one would want to hear my ramblings on him. I love-to-hate him and think he’s a very fun villain for Ling Wen and the others to interact with. And also murder.)

I really don't have the energy (or writing ability) for a whole fic but I tried to write out a couple more snippets (which ended up fueling some more lingshui headcanons so thank you for that!!)

I'm largely doing this without an outline so these scenes are really more like character interaction exercises than something that would be in the fic if it existed (if that makes sense) but I really hope you enjoy! I think this was also my first time actually writing Jing Wen outside of rambles :D

But also... slight CW for Jing Wen?

-

The bookshop in the capital was smaller than what Shi Wudu would have imagined. It occupied a single room, half of which was taken up by tables where customers and scribes sat, reading and copying out the shop’s wares. The other half contained the books on sale, lining a pair of tall bookcases. A balding shopkeeper sat at the counter. He had straightened up when they entered, and eyed the two of them as they walked past him to the shelves, well aware that these were the sort of customers who could afford to spend.

“What would you recommend?” Shi Wudu asked his companion. His chest swelled with pride when he saw the look on her face, the way her eyes hungrily scanned the many titles before her.

“You’re better off asking the bookseller. He would know what’s considered good,” Nangong Jie replied quietly.

“I don’t want his recommendations, I want yours.”

“Then I’m at even more of a loss. These titles are unfamiliar to me.”

“Take your time getting familiar with them, then.”

Nangong Jie obliged, breaking away from him to study the books more closely. Her fingers caressed the bindings of each one she touched, tracing the letting on the covers. The books at the very top were largely classics and treatises aimed at cultivating the mind and preparing one for exams. They were the sorts of books a literature god would be well acquainted with, but to Shi Wudu’s surprise, Nangong Jie didn’t linger on them long, nor did she pay much attention to the poetry anthologies just below. Instead, she crouched down to inspect the various popular novels at the bottom. Those, she would take out for longer periods and read through the first couple of pages. She made faces as she did, her lips quirking upwards or downwards depending on the contents. Shi Wudu stepped to the side to have a better view.

It was a very different experience to meet with Nangong Jie without Pei Ming whispering in his ear. Already Shi Wudu was starting to miss his nagging tone and the effortless compliments that flowed from his lips. Without him to provide the script, Shi Wudu found it difficult to say the sorts of things that could draw a laugh or even a smirk from her.

So he would do it with his actions instead. It was for that reason he chose to bring her to a place he thought she would like. Perhaps it was counterintuitive for that place to be a bookstore where she would inevitably be more enthralled by the books than by him, and conversations would be limited as a result, but Shi Wudu didn’t care. He wanted to see what kind of books caught her interest, when she finally had a chance for some leisurely reading.

So far he was enjoying himself, and he’d have liked to think she was too.

(this scene would go on to have them chatting about books and SWD buying LW a romance novel she picks out. I have not decided if LW genuinely likes romance novels or because she was trying to make SWD less interested in her by having "trashy" tastes)

-------

(and now the Jing Wen scene)

“You’re still here?”

Nangong Jie was at her desk. Writing endlessly inside a circle of lanterns, it should have been a typical nighttime sight. She didn’t look up as Jing Wen approached, didn’t acknowledge her superior’s presence at all until he was right to her, hand on shoulder, leaning over to inspect her work. Neat columns of characters filled barely a quarter of a page. There were more blank scrolls on one side of the desk.

“You’ve let your work pile up again. This isn’t good, Nangong. The other gods are waiting for these reports. What will they say about our palace if there’s a delay?”

“My apologies,” Nangong’s voice was low and flat, as though none of this concerned her. “I will deliver them before dawn.”

“So busy, always so busy,” Jing Wen remarked. “But of course, never so much that you can’t find time to cozy up to another man. Again.” His nails dug into her shoulder, making her drop the brush. A splatter of ink left trails on the page as it rolled to aside. It would have to be rewritten.

“That hurts,” Nangong Jie said sharply, not a hint of guilt in her voice.

“The hearts you trample upon hurt even more. I know where you were today,” he replied and rifled through the various documents until he found what he was looking for. Hidden beneath a stack of proper books was a trashy fictional novel that had no place on a literature god’s desk. Jing Wen picked it up and flipped through it. “So he’s buying you books now?”

“I bought it.”

“Please. You have better taste than this.” Jing Wen sneered, tossing the book back onto the desk. A romance novel. How laughable. Was that how she got her claws into Shi Wudu? By letting him think she was some meek little girl with a love of reading and fanciful dreams?

Only Jing Wen knew what kind of woman she really was. A cruel thankless bitch, who let her small talent for writing cultivate a great arrogance.

“Do you really think the Water Master is interested in you?” He asked her. “He’s just an arrogant tyrant stirring up trouble. Today he’s interested in antagonizing me, so it’s only expected that you would get swept up in his current. Don’t get conceited. His little provocations don’t bother me, so it won’t be long before he gets bored and moves on.”

Shi Wudu was a nobody. No one had even heard of him in the mortal realm before his sudden ascension shook the heavens. He had no background or achievements, yet spat out arrogant words like he was an authority on good conduct. If he saw something in Nangong Jie, it was only because she batted her eyes at him and used her talent for words to dole out a few compliments.

She was probably whispering in his ear from the beginning, he realized. How else could Shi Wudu be able to understand a literature god’s writing?

“Forget about him,” Jing Wen warned her, whispering quietly into her ear. “You work for me.”

[bayleavesfromthevine]

Regarding your Queen Bee fic: Your writing is genuinely gripping and very illustrative. The backstory sections with Kusuke honestly gutted me a bit. You write this fucked up family really well. I feel bad for all of them :[ Also EVERY TIME you wrote Kaidou he was so precious that I had to scream about it out loud. And I love Kuriko! I love how you wrote her powers [especially the part where she describes the beginning of her life. It was oddly poetic and haunting], and I love her personality! I kind of want to grab her by the head and shake her around /affectionate And I love how she communicates with Kusuo, and I love her dynamics with everyone. [Also, just a request for if you ever pick up the fic again, could you maybe do a ship between Teruhashi and Kuriko? I like their interactions :D [This is just a request and you are in no way obligated to fulfill it! Just thought it wouldn't hurt to ask ^^]] And I especially loved all the references to the medium the story was written in and the show itself, it feels very in-spirit with the series. Fun! I understand if you've moved on to other projects by now, and it's okay if you don't update this one again, but I just wanted to express my appreciation for this story. Thank you for writing it, I had a good time reading it :D

Omg thank you so much!! That fic holds such a special place in my heart - I wrote it as a stress reliever throughout college and some of my fondest memories are of writing out scenes or whole chapters instead of paying attention to my lectures 😂

Kusuke is so interesting to me because imagine being the kid in your family without any crazy powers?? Not to be dramatic, but more often than not his inferiority complex is the driving force in the plot lmao

Kaidou is my SON. I think I let so much of my bias towards him bleed into the fic because Kuriko definitely views him as a baby chick she needs to protect kdjfhkjfh And as for the ship request - I've always been torn between Teruhashi and Aiura (hence why it's still a gen fic LOL) so you def have a 50/50 shot there! I have never had anything planned for this fic (except for the very end), I've always just gone in whichever direction Kuriko led me in, so it'll be a surprise to us both haha!

I do want to finish the fic one of these days - I actually do have the next chapter almost completely written somewhere. I have to rewatch the show before working on it again so I can reacquaint myself with the world since it's been so long since I've seen it. (I also have to reread the fic to remember all the Kuriko lore I made up 😂)

I'm so so happy that you enjoyed that fic, it truly means so much to me! I hope you are well and that you have the best day ❤️

[artoile]

Per aspera ad astra

“Does the name PN G054.203.4 mean anything to you, Kuroba-kun?” Hakuba asks.

Hello @angelicsentinel !!!!!! I feel as though I've run a marathon over the course of the past 72 hours with all the inconveniences that have come up but I'm here!!!! This is your Secret Santa!!!

I really couldn't pick whether I wanted to draw or write a fic, so I went with a short story with a couple of simple illustrations to go with it. After ou said the scene with Chat Noir made Hakukai an OTP, I wanted to try doing something that had a similar feel to it, haha. I don't want to say how in advance as to now spoil it, but hopefully it comes through. I also tried to do a different spin on a rooftop scene and star motifs!

I really enjoyed working on this, so I really hope you like it too. Thank you again for all of your patience.

✦✦✦

If Kaito were to ask what Hakuba Laboratories' focus is specifically, he’s certain the answer would be a vague “yes.”

As far as he can tell, it dabbles in all sorts of fields —something something biochemistry something something robotics— and boasts a vast collection of researchers, each more eccentric than the last.

So eccentric in fact, that Kaito wouldn’t be surprised if they had a vat of radioactive chemicals tucked away in a basement somewhere, considering Hakuba’s family background reads exactly like that of a tacky comic book villain. It’s a disaster waiting to happen, really, and not getting involved is for the best.

There's no use in asking anyway, because Kaito doesn’t care about what Hakuba gets up to during after-school hours in the first place.

(As long as it doesn’t interfere with KID, of course— and maybe that’s often the case, Kaito thinks, but that isn’t the point.)

What Hakuba does is none of his business, so Kaito definitely doesn’t care when Hakuba begins looking into astrophysics, of all things.

He doesn't take notice of the theoretical textbooks Hakuba starts bringing to class for the purpose of his own twisted version of ‘light reading.’ He doesn't peek at Hakuba as he leafs through them between classes and during lunch break. He doesn't commit the long strings of numbers that Hakuba jots down to memory.

He most definitely doesn’t think about the fact that Hakuba’s sudden interest in distant nebulas and orbits is all too coincidental.

Becoming immersed in a topic until depleting all available information is standard Hakuba behaviour, and exploiting his family’s resources is only a means to achieving that end.

When Kaito tries to make an off-handed jab at that, sometime during lunch, Hakuba closes his book. He bears that gentle and infuriating smile of his —one that emits a much needed warmth at the cusp of midwinter— and looks at Kaito in a way that could be mistaken with an almost reverential affection before saying, tone overwhelmingly cloying:

‘There are topics that can never be exhausted.’

And what makes Kaito's chest soar and his mind race at the words must be revulsion.

✦✦✦

If Kaito were to look into Hakuba's maternal side of the family, he’d be sure to find either some intelligence agency, secret royalty, some ancient templar cult, if not all of the above.

From time to time, he’ll admit to feeling morbidly curious, but that’s only natural when you consider everything about the guy is ridiculous; it’d be weirder for him not to wonder at all.

He casts the thought away, however. Knowing one Hakuba is already one too many, and Kaito wants nothing to do with the lot of them.

Whatever the case, Kaito should thank them; at least for tonight, they've made his life easier by getting Hakuba away from him.

KID is performing for the last time this year, and Hakuba is nowhere in sight.

After a lengthy phone call with London, Hakuba had left for Haneda airport in a hurry; this is what Aoko had told Kaito, just a couple of hours before the heist.

He had been overjoyed, delighted to find that out. After all, why wouldn't he be?

Common sense dictates that one less meddling detective would make for an easier heist.

—So why the hell is he having such a hard time right now?!?

Kaito had struggled as soon as the heist began. In a strange way, too; much unlike times when Hakuba or Meitantei, or even Nakamori-keibu on a really good day, are being a thorn at his side.

No. Tonight, it is as if all motivation had been sucked from him before the heist had even begun.

His every movement feels sluggish, and he’s lagging behind.

With the entire Task Force on his heels, Kaito runs.

✦✦✦

His phone buzzes in his pocket during the middle of his getaway. It must be Aoko, he believes, trying to find him after he had snuck away earlier that night.

Nakamori-keibu is trailing close behind, but there’s enough distance between them for him to answer, if only to stop her from worrying. He takes his phone out, and answers.

“Yo, Aoko!” He says in reflex, jumping down another flight of stairs and taking cover in the corner. “Now’s not a great ti—”

“Kuroba-kun.”

In face of the unmistakable tone of voice coming from the receiver. Kaito slides to a complete halt, mind running a thousand times faster than his legs would ever allow.

“Huh—Hakuba?! What are you— Where are you—?!"

“The heist's live transmission on board hasn't been as smooth as I would have hoped,” Hakuba explains. There's a mechanical whirr in the background that doesn't subside. Is he calling from the plane?! “But if my guesses were correct, I suspect you should be headed into the vent system on the eighteenth floor—”

He’s briefly interrupted by the shouts coming from the upper floor, and Kaito once again breaks into a run.

“Oh? You're still in the stairway? It appears the transmission is not at fault for the three minute delay, after all.”

“Shut up you—”

“There is another viable point of entry in the hallway to your left, six meters in,” Hakuba says at once. “Far less conspicuous. Go.”

In spite of himself, Kaito listens; sure enough, Hakuba is right. All of this borders on fantastical, with how absurd it is, but his body acts on instinct, despite his complete and utter disbelief.

“How many times do I have to tell you,” Kaito hisses as he crawls into the vent and away from sight. “I'm not KID.”

Hakuba only laughs.

✦✦✦

By the time Kaito’s completely slipped the police’s grasp, he stands at the rooftop, watching as the Task Force chases the wrong lead into the distance, their sirens slowly fading away into the regular urban blur.

Hakuba, inexplicably, remains on the line.

“If you wanted to see KID so bad, you should've just stayed,” Kaito grouses.

“I'm sorry,” Hakuba apologises. He sounds genuinely remorseful, and it tugs at Kaito’s heartstrings. “An acquaintance offered valuable leads on an important matter, but she’ll only be in London until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Oh,” Kaito utters simply. A matter more important than KID – he thinks sullenly – if it made Hakuba drop the heist.

Hakuba must read his thoughts, because he is quick to elaborate, speaking in a tone so soothing it can only be an attempt to pacify him.

“It’s about the orbit of a certain comet.”

Kaito’s pulse races at the sudden realization.

A comet. Of course. Of course Hakubastard would put his time and effort into something like this.

“Oh,” he repeats in a stunning display of eloquence.

“Does the name PN G054.203.4 mean anything to you, Kuroba-kun?” Hakuba asks.

“Hah? What are you going on about now?”

“The Necklace Nebula,” Hakuba explains. “It came to be roughly 10,000 years ago, when a large star engulfed a smaller one.”

“Trapped it,” Kaito interjects.

“Enveloped it,” Hakuba corrects him. “The smaller star remained intact inside it, and continued its orbit. The rotation sent fragments of the larger star into space, like an escaping circle of debris, creating the impression of a bright ring surrounding them.”

“...And the stars?”

“Remain close to each other, orbiting each other daily. From a distance, they appear as one.”

A doublet, Kaito realises, shining like a single gem somewhere out in a distant sky.

“Little one should’ve ran away.”

“Well,” Hakuba chuckles. “I'd like to believe it was given reason enough to stay.”

Leave it to this guy to be able to spin something like this into some sappy metaphor. Despite the winter chill, Kaito feels heat rise to his cheeks.

“Kuroba-kun?”

“What?”

“Considering you’re KID—”

“I’m not,” Kaito snaps.

“—’s greatest fan,” Hakuba adds, “would you care to share your thoughts on what he’d think, if his goal lied in a gem of such cosmic proportions?”

Kaito pauses. What would he do if it came down to that?

It’d be an impossible, outrageous situation. If he came to that, he’d just cross that bridge when it came to it.

For now, however, he feels himself grin widely.

“There is nothing I cannot steal, tantei-san,” he starts, voice low but clear, “be it sun, moon or stars.” Kaito speaks with all of KID’s playful poise, and his grin only continues to spread when he hears Hakuba’s breath hitch. “—That’s what he’d probably say.”

Hakuba stops for a moment as well, seemingly collecting his thoughts, and Kaito steels himself in anticipation.

“Know then that I'd continue to chase him,” Hakuba says at last, “regardless of how far it may take me.”

“Even millions of light years away?” Kaito asks.

“And beyond,” Hakuba avows, with all the conviction in the world.

Kaito snorts, shaking his head. “You're ridiculous.”

“It's the truth.”

When he glances at the night sky, Kaito doesn’t find much. This tracks, considering he’s surrounded by a plethora of bright city lights. He raises tonight’s heist to the moonlight, and is unsurprised that there’s nothing. Still, his gaze remains fixed above, childishly picturing Hakuba flying overhead.

It should be the other way around, Kaito thinks. It’s so unfair that this hopeless detective always gets everything wrong.

“Say Hakuba,” he says, voice almost a whisper. “Any stars up there?”

“Yes,” Hakuba replies, appearing slightly surprised by the question. “Though not quite the one I’d like most to see.”

“What does it look like? Can you tell me?”

“Is that what you’d like?”

“What, is the young master too busy?” Kaito teases, and he can perfectly envision Hakuba’s mirthful eyes when he replies.

“I can make time.”

As Hakuba begins his description, Kaito sits by the edge of the rooftop, suddenly unaware of the cold he hates so much, and simply listens.

OMAKE:

A couple of weeks later, Kaito happens to overhear a conversation between Aoko and Hakuba in the hallway.

“So, Aoko was wondering about the kind of research Hakuba-kun’s family’s lab does.”

“Hm,” Hakuba tilts his head and holds his chin. For some reason, he looks genuinely pensive. “A good question, really.”

And it really is so completely ridiculous, Kaito can’t control himself when he shrieks out:

“You don’t know either?!”

[bat-lings]

would you have any tips on how to write the batfamily members accurately / in-character? im a roleplayer & i plan on rping as some of the characters but im afraid that i'll make them ooc since a lot of dc's storylines are v confusing & inconsistent so i wouldn't know what's accurate / what isn't. ) :

The nature of comic canon means that this is a common worry. My first advice: don’t stress too much about it. A lot of writers in the fandom don’t actually read comics, or only read those about their one favorite character. I even saw a successful batfam writer say loud and clear that they don’t like comics once, and tbh? You’re here to have fun, if reading the canon material feels like homework, why would you bother?

Now if your fun implies you writing canon-complying characters, my second advice... don’t stress too much about it. There isn’t one and only "accurate" or "in-character" portrayal with comic book characters. Comic canon is a loooong succession of various continuities, writers, intents, retcons, and interpretations. Even if you could read every comic DC has ever published (good luck with that lol), you’re gonna have to pick and choose your canon at some point because it’s impossible to make everything match semi-coherently. Every time I say "this is ooc", I mean "this is ooc to me based on my personal understanding of X character". And I’ve enjoyed some of these "ooc" writings a lot in some fanfics, cause the story was well written and the author’s portrayal made sense within their story’s context— at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Now that that’s out of the way, if you want to write canon-complying-ish characters, the first thing I’d watch out for are "fanon legends". Aka ideas that circulate commonly in fanon but have few or no canon basis, or are built on shortcuts of the canon materials. I have a fanon vs canon post that mention a few of those, but I’m not the only blog that did one— have another by @theflyingwonder for instance.

Generally speaking, watch out for anything that summarizes/flatten any character to a couple of simple traits— this is what can actually bring your writing down, more than whether your characterization is based off canon or fanon.

I was also asked for tips to write Tim; the answer was pretty rushed (like this answer here oops) but hopefully it can point you in a direction you like.

Theflyingwonder also did a post on how they write Dick during dialogues, they know the character pretty damn well and their writing feels close to the canon Dick, so it’s something by which I’d stand. I sense the direct inspiration from his speech pattern in the comics— even if you don’t want to spend months reading comics before you write fancontent, that’s something that can help you: hunt for specific canon sequences close to the one you’re writing, and note how the characters are acting/speaking. I can help if you’re having trouble finding sais scenes.

For instance if you’re writing a Tim&Dick bro moment, there are a lot of scenes between them in the batbooks you can take inspiration from. I’d say most Barbara&Dick interactions are characterized by their near-constant banter. For Cassandra’s speech pattern, you really want to know at which point of her "recovery" she’s at and glance at how she speaks (or doesn’t) in her solo. Small stuff like that can flesh out your writing and give it a "canon-ish" feel, without having to read hundreds of issues.

I hope it’s okay that I don’t have more specific writing tips for now. It’s been a long-ass while since I’ve actually written for the batfam, and again how each fan is going to write them "accurately" depends on their own chosen bits of canon. I could point out what feels right or what doesn’t, or what canon occurence is or isn’t a good illustration of X central character trait imo, if you have a specific character in mind (whole batfam posts can take months to write sorry). Best would be to compare that with other people’s opinions, and bestest to try and see if you enjoy comics enough to read a few and make your own opinion of it.

Please don’t be afraid of going into rp. You’re allowed to have fun in here without the fandom police dictating how you do so, and you don’t owe overaggressive canon-lovers anything. If someone spots ooc-ness in your writing, hear them out as long as they’re cool about it; if they’re rude they need to stop engaging with what they don’t like and let you have your fun. I wish you a very happy time in that fandom, Anon!

[me-on-set]

Harrowingly Strange

When was the last time you had to face a moral dilemma? I am still reeling. I actually just got home. I think I invented a new selfie style. I wanted to take a photo of my makeup on and off.

As I currently write this, I am not an actor but instead have been doing background work for the past year. I've occasionally been a featured extra and was a body double once.

It's fascinating, seeing and doing the work that embodies being on set.

A couple of days ago, I received a message from a casting agency that had my headshot asking to submit my photo for a featured non-speaking role with a local production company. It was a one or two day shoot at $200 per day. I said yes and I got the gig.

When you are cast, you get an email the night before with details about the set location, start time, special instructions, and wardrobe. This show I booked was for a reenactment TV series about real world events. The exciting news was that this particular episode revolved around a crisis that occurred in my parents' homeland. I was to play someone at home seeing the news on television, and then in a second scene complain to police of their incompetence. I was asked to bring leisure clothing one would wear at home.

When I first started being an extra, I would bring my clothes in a backpack, trying really hard not to care too much. That behavior did not last. I found my interest stumbling forward into a natural evolution. I started taking luggage to neatly carry my wardrobe options. I found that I would mostly get cast as a mid-30's businessman. This led me to comfortably bring my outfits in a garment bag. It's funny how familiarity can grow your views.

For today, I packed shorts, sweatpants, t-shirts, a hoodie, a pair of runners, and a pair of flip flops. I got these flip flops during my last vacation with my mom overseas in her hometown. I also brought some henley shirts and arrived on set in khakis and a short-sleeved polo because there was also a mention of button-ups being an option.

The majority of work involved as an extra is waiting. It's a good idea to bring a book, although in this day and age, occupying oneself with a smart phone is a much more fulfilling time killer. I didn't end up using any of the clothes I had brought except for my belt and my runners. After my hair and makeup were done I decided to satisfy my curiosity by searching keywords of this specific production. I searched the name of the character I was to reenact. Adding quotations to strict strings of words, I had soon discovered the event I was going to portray. This was when my moral dilemma began.

I was born and raised in North America by immigrant parents who arrived in their early 20's. The typical experiences had by people of color paint a relatively positive mural that represents my upbringing. Having visited my ethnic country many times throughout my life, I felt, and still feel, a deep connection to the motherland. This connection is common for others like myself, powered by identity in a time where life will sometimes present it as a limitation. Conversely, this only strengthens cultural pride.

The role I was to play was an international representing their countrymen against the very country I identify with. Pangs of uneasiness flooded my body. There was another featured role performer who had an earlier call time. We sat together in the holding area. He was cast to play the part of a family member learning the news of the event. What surprised me more was the fact that he was a recent immigrant from my country of ethnicity. Us both, cast in roles of coincidental conflict of interest?

When it comes to acting, the only other time I recall having feelings of apprehension was during a big budget movie filmed in a church. I was a church goer among a sea of church goers seated in church pews. We were instructed to portray the enjoyment of a church service. Some of us were selected to stand and sway to the Christian music. Some had their eyes closed, head tilted to the ceiling, palms facing up to the heavens. As easy a physical task that is, I instead opted to clap along to the band and pretend to really feel the sounds of my favorite music. I know it's just acting but I was driven by the thought of my mom seeing me do anything other than that on camera. So, I coursed the music through my veins. I know the history of the band members, the albums, this music moves me, pretend.

I received my paperwork and read it over a cup of coffee from craft services. It was standard paperwork that I've filled out over a dozen times before. I looked at the inviting exit door. I was parked right outside. This is not that big of a deal, is it? I imagined this TV episode making its way to the news overseas, the citizens all over the world deeming me a traitor for perpetuating a negative image, not merely through action but through representation against them. Against us. Am I selling out? For two hundred bucks?

I thought about getting up and leaving. I thought about all of the hard work that people have put into this specific production. If you haven't been behind the scenes before, it is quite the trip. An assortment of heavy duty cables line the floors, taped in place. Racks of props in designated areas. The backstage crew zip around in sync, bursting with walkie-talkie sounds and hollers of instruction. There is a commonality in the many interactions, their minds tuned into the goal meant to be achieved. This is their career.

This is my hobby. I am a prop. Would leaving this put a blemish on my record in the local film community, or the film industry as a whole, because I wasted everyone's time being sensitive? As I languished, I get a message from my best friend and I tell him I'm on set. I tell him:

For some reason, that makes me feel better. I just might be able to work with that mentality. The other guy has finished. He returns his wardrobe and collects his belongings. I ask him if he knows what this show is about. We speak in our language among the English-speakers. I ask him if he thinks people back home are going to be mad at us. I ask him if he knew we were going to be doing this. He seems ok with it all. He said he was there during the actual event. He's new to the industry. We laugh about how we can pass as different races. This is his first time being on camera. He said he enjoyed the experience. I ask him if he'll continue. He said yes. I hope he does.

Finally, wardrobe is set and I am wearing a navy blue golf shirt and some gray slacks. I want to feel good, like the other times I've worked. How can I get that feeling? They're calling me on set. They adjust the lighting while I sit in front of the camera. A fog machine fills the mock living room belonging to my character. When the camera rolls, there is a fake TV in front of me that I am to watch casually at first and then grow increasingly interested as the live footage I am pretending to watch unfolds. I am supposed to build up into a frustration with the host country. My country. As I understand it, the real guy is being interviewed and I am the reenactment; the illustration of his side of the story. I do the scene. Twice. Filming took less than 5 minutes total. The whole time I was thinking about my mom. I can remember it still, a few hours ago today, the director describing the gradual transpiring of the footage to guide me. To help me see a reason to be frustrated on camera. It wasn't helping. It's not his fault. I don't think it's anyone's fault. I don't think they even knew why I would be uncomfortable. I don't think they knew much about the countries involved in the event. They even spelled the city name wrong. I don't even think the takes were that bad.

I wish it wasn't about my country. If it were different, I feel like I could have given more - like I had done at the church.

It's unsettling to perform make-believe, but for myself I have managed to apply a mental exercise that immerses me into a character; to actually be the person. The trick is to relate. To tie the emotion to a real memory and relive it. If it had only been about another country, I'm sure I would have enjoyed the process a lot more.

I'm writing this and I was hoping it would help me shake away this dread. Thoughts of regret imagining if I had only researched the keywords sooner. Maybe I would have cancelled. But that wouldn't have been better. I would be blacklisted and never cast as another role again. Or maybe I'm being dramatic. Hey, that's good for this line of work, right?

I honestly hope the final cut looks great. This is the biggest role I've ever been in. They gelled my hair funny like a nerd, I had on large framed glasses, just like the portrayed, and they put makeup on my upper lip to hide my dark, clean-shaven stubble.

When I got home, before I washed my makeup off, I took a before and after mirror selfie because my face looked comedically smooth. Taking the pictures reminded me of when I was sipping coffee in the holding area. I had taken pictures of my paperwork. I remember my mind racing. The feeling was like gathering license plates and insurance information after a collision. You know, just in case I have to stand trial, my cultural membership in jeopardy. I can review my situation with a lawyer to see what I can and can not say during a variety show interview that is getting my side of the story after viral, captioned screenshots of me flood the internet with embarrassing memes, stamped into history. Jesus Christ, that would be the worst. Here I go again with extreme maybes. It's an entertaining curse that I will forever be engulfed in my own hypothetical torture.

Anyway, here's that selfie I invented:

Yeah my bathroom mirrors are dirty.

I can't wait for my next job that I can cleanse my palate with. I really hope I can accept today as purely an actor's portrayal, and not a turncoat betrayal. This can't be my last go at acting. I ate some of my country's food for supper. I feel a bit better. I'm wearing a shirt that is emblazoned with our country's sports hero.

I have always been excited to see the final release of a production I am in, except for this one now. Uncontrollably, my perverse curiosity into the film world is only strengthening, so I don't think even the worst thoughts can slow my future participation. The silver lining is that the uncomfortable bar is set to a new level. I could reenact a murderous deviant now without batting a moral eyelash, I like to think. All for the sake of film.

- WSS, February 8, 2019

[leofiat-bunny]

I actually really liked that Leo had that "monster" dialogue.

I don't disagree that some people will misinterpret it, but... meh 🤷‍♀️

I'd have disliked them feeling the need to spell it out that Leo and Grace are fundamentally different. As you illustrated, their differences are profound and shown often.

Otherwise totally agree with all of this.

As for why basketball; it was never explicitly explained but:

Leo loved basketball first, we see him practicing constantly in high school (every time we see him he's dressed for it, for which I take the Watsonian meaning to be that he's constantly practicing)

When they're watching ice skating Leo says "if you hadn't turned to basketball like me, you would've been a pro skater" (ep 5, pt 2)

In the couch cuddle scene when Leo says "but I also know what you felt when you hurt your knee", Fiat gets nervous and relaxes when Leo answers his "what?" with "you were scared you couldn't play basketball"

In the kidnapping scene, Fiat implies he'd rather Type raped him than hurt his knee "I'll do anything, please let me go. I've got nothing left. If I can't play basketball, I'll really have nothing left. Please"

Then in the "reveal" to Type he says "Even if I can't play basketball with him anymore... he wouldn't feel a thing anyway"

Then afterwards he tells Leo "P'Type's gonna wreck my knee! I won't be able to play basketball with you anymore. I won't have anything left anymore"

When Natsu tells Fiat about the guy taking drugs (ep 6, pt 1) Fiat's concern is how much Leo wants to win [this part is more by-the-by, since of course Leo's feelings are Fiat's first concern]

Anyway, my interpretation is that Leo enjoyed basketball for its own sake and Fiat took it up some time in the past 4 years in order to spend more time with Leo. Probably when he was about 17/18. He had time to get good enough to be nominated captain by the time of the first final.

That's why he was nervous when Leo was all "I know" - to understand why Fiat has to play basketball is to understand how much Leo means to Fiat and how much Fiat is afraid of losing him.

Before he became afraid of growing distance between them he likely enjoyed basketball anyway - he played with Leo and Leon when they were younger - but its importance is the closeness it provides. (Well, he might have resented it a bit for taking Leo away from him so much, but on its own merits, he probably enjoyed it)

Possibly early thoughts of university and what would be studied there was a driving force behind the fear and the subsequent choice. When school would no longer tie them closely, basketball would make sure they spend time together.

(Even when Leo came to hate him/emotionally left him as everyone did eventually, they'd still have something together)

Possibly he stopped hoping that Leo would claim him any day now and came to believe that actually, it would never happen. (I do wonder if perhaps Fiat believed Leo was aroace; it would have fit with his observations)

So, why basketball? Because basketball was the thing Leo chose to do that was social enough that Fiat could join and stay past a personal welcome. (Unlike e.g. his reading)

It couldn't happen the other way around because of the monster that scared Leo too much for him to be comfortable "forcing" his way into a part of Fiat's life like that.

On Leo's side, I imagine his love of the game grew even more when Fiat joined his side.

Also, shameless plug: Fiat supercut, LeoFiat supercut from TTTS.

I won’t do a full review of the show today - I’ll wait until after the Special and post it along with my Complete Analysis for LeoFiat. (Speaking of - apparently the special’s trailer releases on Oct 29th per MeMindy official Twitter. And the Special releases on Nov 6 [at least this is the date from the guide I’ve been seeing I haven’t seen it posted on MeMindy’s page yet but I could’ve missed it]. So we’re not done yet 😘

Anyway, the episode….

To be frank I was disappointed. I won’t say it was writing per say but production for this episode was very much a mess. The camera work was…questionable. It’s like they ran out of story and so to meet run time they lingered on shots for absolutely no reason. And then the set up for the s€x scene really or ratted me because it was the last s€x scene of the season so I def had expectations. The repeated banging of the painting…and I swear that thing moved or switched sides 😒. But the camera work here wasn’t working for me either.

😌 Fiat was carrying in that red suit tho…

So my issues with writing. When Fiat said he didn’t know who Leo would choose I tell “Lord make it make sense 🙃” Leo who cannot separate love and sex, Leo who had NEVER looked at anyone other than Fiat…we’re supposed to believe that Fiat just found a deep well of insecurity for the same girl he’s been reminding that she wish she was him all season?! Mame make it make sense babe 😪 Now I know I should consider the context of the show, that Fiat is having insecurities because of Leo’s outburst but it’s just not believable even in the set up of that context. Now if he had just left it at I didn’t know if you would choose to follow me…instead of making it sound like there was an actual choice to be made between him and Punn…then yes I would’ve been on board but instead I was punching air cause it was perfect until then.

My other issue with the writing itself was the dialogue about possessiveness - let me make this clear I have never been or will never be one of those ppl who fight for censorship in art. You will never see me say - This show/series/film/book is good because it has a ‘healthy’ relationship. Great writing can embrace all types of tropes - be it ‘toxic’ or ‘healthy’ and I’m more concerned with good writing than so called healthy storylines. I don’t need art t think for me. I believe in pushing critical thinking rather than the concept that art creates bad ppl - bad ppl engage with art, not the other way around. This is my opinion and I’m stating it so there is no confusion to what I’m about to say next - Mame should not have included this specific dialogue. Not because it was toxic - like I said I don’t care about that, in fact I enjoy possessive pairings/tropes when it comes to stories as they can be quite interesting dynamics and can make for a tension filled read. I’d even say a huge part of the reason I like Leo and fiat is because that concept always played in the subtext or casually within the text it self - I speak about this in my analysis of the two but the whole aspect of Fiat sleeping around to spite Leo is literally speaking to this concept. The reason it’s spite, the reason it’s supposed to get a reaction, the reason he later reproached Leo about this is because he was giving away what was Leo’s & Leo was showing that he cared or was affected. This made him angry and in TharnType2 we constantly see him throwing out taunts & challenges over it. The minute she added this dialogue in I could help but sigh because I feel like she could’ve gotten away with it but the moment that dialogue slipped I knew people were gonna be upset. The same people who had been calling the show healthy despite this concept of ownership already being branded in the text itself. Leo telling Fiat that he’s always been ‘his’. Fiat telling Leo that he could do anything he pleases to his body. This isn’t just sexy talk. This is Fiat once again dialing into the concept that his body, his entire being, belongs to Leo and therefore he gives Leo the right to any & everything he wants to it.

The reason I didn’t like the scene with the talk about Leo’s possessiveness is because they’d already cast a bad light on the mom for overt possessiveness and then here we have Leo saying that he’s a monster and he wants to lock Fiat away, they make a literal comparison between Leo & Fiats mom and they never contextualize it. Even though Fiat says you’ll never hurt me they didn’t really delve into that and they should have because viewers these days are not critical thinkers. They want the text to tell them exactly how to think and how to feel and they pick out one clump of dialogue or action and they state this is toxicity without contextualizing it by taking a look at the overall story. Is Leo possessive? Yes. Does that automatically mean something bad? No. Does that automatically make him like Fiats mom? No. Fiats mom was selfish in her possessiveness, she was abusive in it - physically and mentally. Leo has never once been abusive to Fiat, even asked for permission to be rough in sex play, even when jealous or angry he never actually seeks to lock away or harm Fiat. Most importantly Leo NEVER uses his sense of possessive to isolate Fiat from those he loves and those who loves him. He encourages Fiat to mend his relationships (his Dad, his step mom, and his sister, he I he even went with him to his Mom & pet Fiat guide the engagement despite her trying to separate him & Leo and despite knowing she always would he still agreed to Fiats right to come alone for following visits and trust him to not let her affect their relationship). He encourages Fiat to really see and appreciate how much others around him truly love him (for example his entire concept for his birthday surprise for Fiat was showing him not only how much he loved and appreciated him but how much all their family and friends did as well). However the moment people feel like they have something to call toxic and pick apart none of that matters any longer. The reputation of the relationship they had built until that moment disappeared for some viewers.

Also I feel like people lose the nuance of how their dynamic works - I’ve already seen ppl say that Leo has control issues and it’s just 😪🙄 eye roll worthy because if you understand their actual relationship you’d understand that yes Leo guides their relationship ship but Leo has all the real control. The moment he says ‘world stop’ everything stops. The series has shown several times this fact, even the set up that brought us to the finale. Despite all his talk of wanting to lock Fiat away - the reality is that when Fiat stated they should go back to friends Leo never tried to block him in, trap him, stop him, or even challenge him. If it’s not something Fiat wants or something that will make Fiat happy Leo won’t do it, he won’t be it. Because he has always been indulgent to Fiats want & needs (even when it caused himself pain). Even this so called desire to lock fiat away is permission by Fiat. And when they speak of lock away and tie up - it’s another reference to their BDSM relationship. Which is something else they’ve kept subtle but constant in the text. They even show this concept in action by having them talk about how possessive the Red suit makes Leo feel and the result is not banishing Fiat to the dungeon, it’s them not going back to the party and chooses to have sexy alone time again with an addition to Discipline involved (reward / punishment system).

😮‍💨 Ive spent way too much text on this but hey I guess it’s something else to try to explain in my analysis. As far as other sections of the story. The basketball game was lackluster. But I did really love the conversation that they had on the basketball court by themselves.

Like I mentioned in my post about episode 11 - we were really shown how the past affected Leo, his own fears kinda being brought forth and so I was really happy that they had Fiat apologize for the pain he cause Leo during that time. I love the fact that they both understood that they’re not perfect and that perfection may not be achievable but that didn’t invalidate their love for one another and their commitment to giving themselves to that love.

Something I wish would have been delved into was basketball…like why basketball. Why is it the thing important for them to share. I can’t remember it ever being really clarified in the text (it might have in TT2 but 😬 I’m not willing to watch again to find out 😅) but I did want to add this element into my analysis i if anyone else remembers the why being mentioned…let me know please 😊

I have a section in my complete analysis for Leo and Fiat called Surrender where I talk about how their journey has been one of surrendering themselves to one another and to their love completely. In this episode there were a few things that I could touch to speak about in that section so while I may not be happy about the entire episode there were bits that I can touch on and so I’m excited about that as always.