#i hope yall think of me not just as a beloved mutual but as Little Miss Big Areolas

[breadedcallie]

Tgirl tummy tuesday again? No problem 👌

@iamoutofideas @borschtwife hope this brightens your day(s) ☺️

[rookiesbookies]

Captain John MacTavish x His wife x Sergeant Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish

I dont know how it would happen but i'm imagining sweet little Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish meeting Captain MacTavish and his wife. I guess this is me rewriting what happened bc Im made we’ll probably never see Neil as his boy again. 

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Smut smut smut under the cut for my lovely mutual @shotmrmiller of my John and his wife meet sweet little Johnny au thing.

Also @glitterypirateduck this one is for you and #soapitup

“Bhean,” he whispers loudly, following it with squirrel noises, motioning for her to follow. She walks out of the recreational room. He nuzzled bis face into her neck, letting her know he was nervous about what he was going to say. “I'm getting serious deja vu.”

“Talk to me, Goose.” A shameless quote of their favorite date night movie from when they dated made his nervous face crack a smile.

“I have this crazy memory,” he mumbled into her neck, she always worried he’d hurt himself craning it down like that so often.

“What about, don’t leave me on cliff hangers, Mr. MacTavish.”

“Do you remember our first time together?”

“Skiing or fucking? Because I remember both very well.” He chuckled at her bringing up his failed skiing attempts from a vacation they went on.

“Making love, Bonnie.” He hummed, “would you believe me if I told ya it’s because I had done it before?”

“Considering baby you told me he’d call me mommy? Yes. Yes, I would.” She hummed. “You also found my clit really fast which makes that really reasonable in retrospect.”

“What if, like my future self taught me at that stage, we teach him how to make love to you so he can charm you with the monster.” It came out more as a question, making his nerves hammer against his chest. He was more than sure he beloved wife would say yes, but he didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable or saying it wrong. 

“He does really want to impress me,” she mumbled. “Fine. But there’s ground rules.”

“Of course, Mo chridhe, anything.”

“Just the tip, you know how I am about hygiene. I don’t fully try young you to keep everything clean. He swears to secrecy and if I ever think for a second he mentions this im ending his blood line. And you stay with us. You are my husband after all, not the boy.” The Captain nodded with every word. He’d make sure. He knew the Sergeant would want no harm to come to his future wife, and the Captain didn’t need a scorched relationship.

“Thank you, Mo leannan, it’s what helped me keep up hope I could lock you down when I met you when I was his age.”

“So it was a memory and more than deja vu?” She asked with a raised brow.

The Captain just simply nodded, planting a kiss on her temple, “you’d tell me if you wanted to back out right? If it made you uncomfortable?”

“John.” She was serious, she never called him just ‘John’. “I expect the same from you. And you’d know I’d never keep that from you.”

She reached up to his face and gently rubbed it. He melted just a little bit into her touch. “I assume you don’t plan to do this on base?”

“No, but that’s the hard part.” “I’ll handle it, go tell the mini you,” she said softly, planting a kiss before walking away.

The Captain sighed and let his shoulders relax, he knew he was so lucky to have her. The sergeant was about to be the lucky one though.

He made his way down the hall and stole his past self from a conversation with Gaz. “My wife and I have decided to give you an opportunity to learn more about her.” He said in a low deep voice. “I will be teaching you about her body so you can please her but there are ground rules she set and a few of my own.” Once he covered his wife’s, he got on to his own, “do not bite her, dig your nails into her, or ignore me if I tell you to do something. No coming inside either and don’t try anything.” Sergeant Soap nodded along, “I’m not sure you’re actually listening, sergeant.” The Captain growled. Soap’s eyes went wide, “Captain me, sir, I prayed last night for an opportunity to feel her skin, honestly I was just expecting to be allowed to shake her hand.” The younger Soap grumbled, “believe me, I’m all ears.” “And none of that ‘I have a latex allergy so I can’t wear condoms’ crap. I know we don’t have that allergy. You will be wearing one.” “You’re so no’ fun,” Soap mumbled. “Fine.”

The Captain didn’t entirely know how he felt about the kid creaming his wife. Sure, it was him, but it was a younger, rowdier, dumber him and not his same body. Getting married meant he was the only one allowed to cream pie his wife, and yes, it is a version of him, it wouldn’t be the same as him doing it. Even if his wife is on birth control and enjoys them, he knows he’d get jealous, way too jealous. Besides it’s his job anyway, he signed a paper to be able to do it, and this kid version gets to just randomly do it.

“So when do I get to show mo bhean how a younger body is better to make love with?” Sergeant asked, patting his older self on the back. This made the Captain flip until the voice of an angel spoke up.

“Ya mean when you meet yer own damn wife. Ya wee-” the Captain’s rage was cut off. “Tomorrow night. I’ll be there ahead of schedule to prepare, my husband will drive you.” She said, walking past the two with effortless grace and a sway of her hips. She flicked a piece of hair back over her shoulder. 

The next 24 hours were full of different forms of tension for younger Soap. He was eager, so eager, almost too eager in the Captain’s eye. The Captain’s raging jealousy made him almost want to shut down the whole thing. 

When he loaded the sergeant and himself into the old truck he sighed. “Remember the rules?” “Of course.”

“Can’t believe you still own this truck.” “She’s carried me through a lot.” “When you meet YOUR wife, she’ll appreciate it. Square bodies are her favorites.”

The rest of the drive was small talk. The sergeant saw a notification appear on the Captain’s phone and snatched it up, since the captain was driving. He back read the short conversation from this morning between the Captain and his wife, who had been the notification. ‘Mo chridhe you better not warm yourself up on that clarty vibrator’

‘You expect him to be able to get me warmed up enough?’

‘Its a teaching experience, mo leannan’

‘I don’t want to make him wait too long, I remember how impatient you were <3’

“Does she think ima div?” Soap looked at the Captain and asked. “Reading my personal texts? Real professional, ya eejit.”

“Does she think I can’t make her feel good? Or make her feel like she’s on Eccie?”

“No, she just doesn’t want you to wait too long. She does this. I bought it for her first time I left on a long mission, now she uses it to take away the fun part of getting her warmed up.”

“So she thinks I'm a fandan.”

“Dinnae fash yersel.” The Captain sighed, “we’re here and the least ya can do is make her feel good as a thank you.”

When he dragged his younger self into the hotel room, it finally set in that he was going to be cucked. By a younger him. Fucking his wife.

He knocked on the door twice and it kind of felt like his wedding night all over again. There she stood in a silk robe, eyes only on him with a gentle and soft smile. It's a smile she only gave when she was nervous, he gave a similar smile back to let her know he felt the same. It was subtle, but he reminded him this was indeed his beautiful wife.

“Go strip in the bathroom and sit down in the chair when you’re done, we need to talk.” The Captain said sharply. 

“Aye aye Captain,” the sergeant mumbled, walking into the bathroom. 

The Captain’s hands immediately found his way to his wife’s hips. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked, holding her close with his mouth near her ear between kisses he placed in her hair.

“Of course,” she said softly into his chest.

“Do you need to back out? We can leave and forget all about this if you need.”

“Do you need me to want to back out?” She asked soft, turning her head to look up into his eyes.

“No, I don’t think so, mo bonnie lass.” He said, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Give me a safeword to give him and a safeword for emergencies.”

“Two levels of safe words?” 

“Just in case I don’t hear the first one, he’s kinda loud.” She giggled and placed a kiss on his neck.

“Bubbles for him and Soap for emergencies.”

“My old callsign?”

“I never call you anyway,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Can I undress you and keep that privilege to myself?” All he needed was the little nod she gave before he moved to untie the robe. 

The lace blue bra she had been taunting him with with the matching panties drove him crazy. She ran her hands up and around his chest as his opened the clasp with one motion and undid the hooks holding the straps over her shoulders so she didn't have to remove her hands from his torso.

He sunk down lower as he planted sloppy kisses down her body and removed her underwear. Lovely pacing a kiss at her lower lips before trailing bite marks backup as the Sergeant exited the bathroom.

“I thought you said I couldn’t bite!” He accused as he watched the Captain leave a hickey on his wife’s chest.

“YOU can’t, I can.” This made the younger Soap look offended. The Captain smirked at the Sergeant’s face. “My wife, remember. Not yours.”

His wife just ran her fingers through his slightly grown out mohawk, a means to sooth him. 

Captain MacTavish moved to his wife’s ear and whispered softly, “may I told yer hand through this, mo ghraidh?”

“Gu sìorraidh is gu bràth,” she said back, pointing to the tattoo on her collarbone. When Soap heard it he almost fainted.

“She knows the language?” Sergeant Johnny asked.

The Captain hummed, pulling his mouth away from the dark hickey he was leaving on her neck, “learned a little bit for me.”

The Captain gave his younger self a once over before landing a sarcastic remark as his eyes landed on the bush, “glad to know you haven’t started shaving yet.”

“You trim?”

“Occasionally,” the Captain pulled his waistband down a bit, nuzzling into his wife, “I wax for special occasions. Yer lucky I found one who doesn’t care.”

The Captain locked his fingers with his wife’s, gently herding her to the bed. He laid her down gently and got her into a good position, shoving a few of the lousy pillows under her waist to offer a better angle.

“How are you?” He asked softly, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “Ready as I can be,” she said with a soft giggle, as he bent down to plant a kiss on her lips.

“Sergeant, come here.” The Captain commanded, pointing at the foot of the bed, his wife couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she dropped her hand over her face. The Captain moved his wife’s knees apart with his free hand, the other still lovingly holding her’s. Johnny got on his own knees as John commanded him as he spread his wife’s pussy lips apart with his fingers. “Ya see that?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, sir,” John corrected Johnny. He basically gave his younger self a tour of his wife’s softest pieces. Telling Johnny her favorite things that he does and what she reacts best to. Johnny was so enthralled with her body he could move his eyes anywhere else. Especially when John put his fingers inside and curled them suddenly making her gasp so Johnny knew how far in her g spot was. The way her body jolted and softly raised as the gasp left her lips was his new favorite thing. He was so jealous he didn’t have her yet. That she wasn’t his wife yet, that he didn’t have the liberty to mark her body yet. “Get to work,” the Captain said, patting Johnny. He didn’t need to say it twice because Johnny went right in.

The wife brought her free hand down to her mouth to hold in the gasps and moans as Johnny ate so eagerly. John was usually slow and sensual, to the messy and a vehement eating that was happening at her core was a much different sensation. John gently pulled her hand away.

“Checkin in with ya, are ya doing good?” he asked his lovely wife. Her eyes couldn’t focus, her mouth gaping and shutting. 

She gave a nod and a hum as her body started to clench as Johnny inserted fingers between her legs and curled, making her body lurch towards the sky and gasp. The Captain gently placed kisses on her face, her velvety cries just make Johnny want to do it again. “She’s even prettier from this view,” Johnny mumbled, spreading her apart with his fingers.

“She donnae like condoms but imma make ye wear one anyway,” Captain Mactavish told his younger self before placing a kiss to the forehead of his flushed wife, still coming down from her orgasm as her husband ran his fingers through her hair as her breathing slowed with her closed eyes. John threw the condom at Johnny, who quickly rolled it on before standing up. “Donnae force it in, go in slow.”

Johnny positioned himself, putting one of the lovely wife’s ankles to his shoulder before giving it a soft kiss. He didn’t dare pull her down the bed like he would have normally done, he walked on his knees to meet her. Hands sliding down her legs to lift her ass, one he saw as so perfect.

He slowly slid it in as John kissed his wife’s face, holding her hand. She was more than used to John’s dick by now, but she was far from used to Johnny’s pacing. So much energy and stamina, not to say John didn’t have it but John was definitely more about making love than he was about fucking or just having sex.

Once she started to grind her hips, Johnny’s face lit up and he immediately started a toe curly, back arching pace. His tip bullied her g spot, making her mouth fall open but no sound falling from her lips.

John cooed at her as Johnny bullied her soft parts, not caring about his own pleasure, solely the pleasure of this goddess in front of him. Once he was sure he had found the spot, Johnny folded her a bit more to hit it a bit deeper, making sure everything was dragging against her.

The only thing that left her were whines, she felt her melted brain might just spill out her ears as the white, staticy heat built up. 

A nice ring built up around Johnny’s cock as he began to roll his hips. Her pulsating cunt milked him so much he felt an almost numbness in his fingers as all he could do was hold her and roll his hips as she let out a broken moan and came. Her husband’s voice echoing around her head with praises and loving words.

It was down right impossible for Soap to not come from her body's pulsations so he did. He wished it hadn’t been into a condom but he was grateful he just got the chance.

John gave him a look and Johnny took it knowingly, going to get a warm and damp towel. He handed it to John who began to clean his wife up, nodding to Johnny to let him know he could leave. 

Johnny didn’t know it was so John could reclaim his wife with some slow sensual sex and lots of love bites.

John, unlike Johnny, was going to come inside. Johnny looked at the photo he had taken of himself with the wife of Captain John from the night prior, "I'm going to marry you. Yer the one I've been looking for."

[bluebeary-jay]

Midnight kisses

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Jackson celebrates the New Year’s Eve, and you're thinking about finally confessing to your crush how much you like him. but Joel Miller, the object of your affections, might have other plans in mind. (based on this adorable request!!)

Tags: FLUFF my beloved 🥰, Joel is very flirty in this one, lots of crushinggg, just old sweet mutual pining (also they're both lovesick idiots)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and being drunk, jealousy, age difference

Word count: 5.4K

A/N: i had a lot of fun with this one 🥰 thank you so much once again for the request, dear, i hope you'll like what i came up with. (btw this was supposed to be a short fic but it seems i'm unable to write one 😔) still i hope yall will like it and as always, happy reading!! 💕

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

The party was in a full swing.

You didn’t expect anything else from the Jackson community. Ever since you arrived here, you were astounded by the effort that the people living in this small town were making to create a life as normal and joyous as possible – for their children and themselves. And today, on New Year’s Eve, they outdid themselves. There was food, music and drinks – almost as if the apocalypse outside those walls never happened.

You were sitting by one of the tables, sipping on your beverage while you waited for your friend, Angie, to arrive. Dancing alone didn’t sound like an appealing idea, so while you waited for her, you opted for some people-watching – though if you were honest with yourself, it was more like ‘person-watching’.

Your eyes strayed to a figure on the opposite side of the room for like a twentieth time, but you couldn’t help it even if you wanted to. Because there stood a man who still, even after more than a year of knowing him, made the butterflies in your stomach take flight.

Joel Miller.

He looked really good in a clean flannel and fitting jeans, you conceded. His hair was slightly wet, like he washed it just before coming to the party, and combed a little to the back, making the silver strands in his hair and beard shine in the low lights. You found yourself unable to look away or get rid of that stupid grin on your face that lingered when Joel smiled lopsidedly at something his brother said. The muscles in his arm bulged when he lifted his glass to take a sip, and you watched the lines of his neck when his throat bobbed...

“You’re ogling,” murmured a voice next to your ear, and you jumped a little in surprise. Next to you stood Angie, smirking at you.

“Jesus, Angie.” You put your hand on your chest, your heart pounding rapidly. “A ’hello’ would be nice.”

Your friend knew, of course, about your massive crush on Joel Miller, and you thought more than a year of pining on your part would cause her to grow bored of all the jokes and teasing that she threw your way. Apparently, you were wrong.

“Hello,” she said, then sat down on the other chair and leaned closer to you with a wide smile. “You’re ogling. In a room full of people, may I add.”

“I’m not,” you murmured defensibly, but your face grew warm at the realization that she caught you. “How long have you been standing here, anyway?”

“Like half a minute. By the way, you’re also drooling.”

“I’m not!” you repeated, now in an irritated whisper. You knew you weren’t drooling, but still had to refrain yourself from wiping your mouth, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. “Stop making things up.”

“You should just go talk to him.” Angie casually nodded in Joel’s direction. “He didn’t come with a date, sooo…”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he’s waiting for someone.”

“Uh, duh!” Angie flicked you on the forehead, and you hissed. “For you to make a move. You can… oh, I know!” she bounced in her seat excitedly and clapped her hands. “Ask him to dance with you!”

You almost snorted. “Joel Miller dancing? Sure. He wouldn’t agree even if he did like me.”

“He does like you. Jesus, you flirt with each other all the time.” The smile disappeared from her lips and she rolled her eyes. “Honestly, you’d have to be blind and deaf not to notice. And maybe dead.”

“There’s no flirting, I told you.” You took a sip of your drink, glancing at the object of your affection. “He talks in this way to everyone.”

“He never called me ‘darling’,” Angie retorted. “Or gave me his jacket when we got caught up in the rain.”

You smiled softly at the memory, but that just made you feel even more hopeless, because since that day, you weren’t able to have a normal conversation with the man you liked so much.

“What do I do?” you whined, leaning on the table. “He’s so beautiful. And he for sure doesn’t see me that way.”

“Are you drunk already? You said you didn’t want a repeat from–”

“–from last year, yeah,” you finished for her and sighed. “I’m not drunk, just feeling down. There’s no way I’ll be able to tell him I like him, Angie.”

“Maybe you won’t have to.” Your friend nudged you gently. “You can just inconspicuously take him under one of the mistletoe and go ‘oh, what’s that?’, and then…”

“What mistletoe?” you asked, only now looking up at the ceiling where familiar-looking leaves were tied with a string to the support beams under the ceiling and above the doors. “Why is there mistletoe hanging?” you asked skeptically. “It’s a New Year’s Eve party.”

“I think they haven’t taken it down since last week.” Angie shrugged, but then grinned at you. “Don’t you think it’s a sign, though? So many places to kiss your crush under~...”

“Jesus, keep your voice down,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands again. “You’re impossible.”

“You’re impossible,” she mocked in a low voice. “I’m trying to help.”

“I know, babe,” you whined, and sighed heavily again. “You know what, maybe I should just forget it. Let’s go have fun, dance, and later throw up from all the food and…”

Suddenly, Angie interrupted you with a high noise in her throat. You gave her a questioning look and she looked at you with a tight-lipped smile and wide eyes.

“He’s coming here.”

“What?!” You automatically turned around before Angie hissed for you not to look, and sure enough, there was Joel Miller, making his way through the crowd with his eyes locked on you. “Oh my god,” you breathed, clutching at your friend’s hand. “He must’ve seen us talking. What do I do?”

“You sit there and look smoking hot, and let him flirt with you,” she answered with confidence you didn’t feel. “And maybe you won’t even need to ask for the kiss, maybe he’ll do it for–” Her eyes darted above your shoulder. “Oh, hey, Miller.”

You gulped and took a deep breath before turning around and– oh, God, he looked even better up close.

Angie kicked you lightly under the table when you didn’t say anything, and you cleared your throat, smiling up at the man you were so crazy about. “Uhm, hi, Jo– Mr Miller.”

“Didn’t I tell you to call me by my name, sugar?” He had kind of a boyish smile on his face that made him look younger and even more handsome, which in turn made your stomach fill with warmth. He sat down next to you, and his eyes scanned you down and back up, slowly, lingering on your legs and curves just for a second longer. “You look lovely.” He then glanced at Angie, sending her a nod. “Both of you.”

“Really?” you beamed, and Angie kicked your ankle again, making you wince. “Uhm, thanks. You clean up nicely yourself.”

A trace of smirk ran across his face, but it was gone before you could make sure it was really there in the first place.

“Are you enjoyin’ the party?” he asked casually, hiding one hand in the front pocket of his jeans. Your eyes followed his movement before you caught yourself.

“Y-yeah, it’s nice. A little too loud for me, but really nice.”

“Maybe you wanna step outside for a bit, then?” Joel nodded in the direction of the deck in the back, and your heart started beating faster.

Did he want to be alone with you? Or was just being polite and preferred to talk somewhere quieter, and you were getting your hopes up unnecessarily? You hoped it was the first, that he genuinely enjoyed chatting with you as much as you did with him – but you never knew with a man like Joel Miller. He was an enigma, sometimes serious and so stoic that you couldn’t for the world figure out what was going on in his head, and other times charming and teasing, making you weak in the knees when he was looking at you with that fiery glint in his eyes…

“Sugar?” Joel asked, lifting his eyebrows with what seemed to be amusement, and you cursed yourself mentally for spacing out.

“Sorry, I… Yes, let’s– sure, let’s go.”

All of you stood up and you looked over your shoulder at Angie with a panicked face, but instead of reassuring you, she sent you a quick, sly grin.

“You two go ahead,” she chirped. “I’m gonna go look for my date.”

“Angie–” you whispered, giving her a look, but the woman just winked and turned around, disappearing into the crowd of dancing people. “Angie!”

Before you could go after her, you felt a big, warm hand on the small of your back, and your entire body tensed. Joel leaned over to your ear, whispering in a low voice.

“Shall we?”

“Yeah,” you squealed, so quietly he probably didn’t hear it over the loud music. “Sure.”

Your legs moved on their own, going where he guided you. The walk to the terrace in the back lasted no longer than fifteen seconds, but it felt like hours had passed. You were very aware of the light pressure of his fingertips on your back, with only one layer of material separating your skin from his, and the nerves of feeling him so close behind you were making you walk stiffly and oddly – though, miraculously, he didn’t seem to notice.

“I don’t like how loud the music is, either,” Joel said after you two exited the main room, and he closed the door. Then he glanced at you again, his eyes flicking to your bare legs just for a second longer. “Are you cold?”

“No,” you answered truthfully. Not only was it nice to feel the cool air after sitting in a stuffy room with a crowd of people for so long, but also you still felt warm from Joel’s closeness. “I’m alright.” Joel nodded absentmindedly, and you squinted. “Did you want to talk about something or…”

“Nah, just wanted to escape for a minute.” He rubbed his beard and shrugged, but there was tightness to his body language. “Not much to do in there except for drinkin’.”

“And dancing,” you cut in.

Joel glanced at you, and the lazy smirk returned onto his features.

“You like to dance, sweet girl?” he asked, and you felt your face growing hot when you heard his tone. Low, drawling and oh, so delicious.

“If the party is good, yes, I guess so.” Then you remembered what Angie suggested earlier, and you took a shaky breath, mustering all the courage you had in you. “We… if you want, we could dance a little later, if they play something nice…?”

But the hot nerves in your chest turned to cold disappointment when Joel started to shake his head with a chuckle. “Nah, darlin’. Sorry, I don’t… I’m no dancer.”

“Noone here is,” you retorted, a bit hurt by how quick his rejection was. “It’s just for fun.”

“I know better ways to have fun than t’make an idiot of myself in front of bunch of people.”

“Like what?”

Of course, you just had to ask.

Joel smirked, as if he was just waiting for it, and took a step forward, forcing you to take one backwards. His brown eyes bored into yours, making you weak in your knees, and you promptly turned your gaze away, not able to withstand the tension in the air. With a cough, you walked up to the wooden railing, pretending that you weren’t feeling sheepish at all.

“For one, talkin’ here with you is fun enough for me.”

You forced yourself to look at Joel when you heard it, just to see if he’s joking, but the man appeared genuine. He leaned against the rails, his hand right next to your shoulder, and you couldn’t get rid of the thought of how easy it’d be for him to cage you in this spot with his strong arms, how he’d make your entire body tremble…

But you weren’t quite sure yet if he was being sweet or just tried to mess with you, so you decided that a teasing response would be the best course of action.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged lightly. “I’d still like to find someone to dance with tonight.”

At that, Joel’s hand gripped the railing tighter and his body stiffened. You had to hide a triumphant smirk on your face, pleased that you managed to throw him off his game – whatever it was that he was playing.

“One of your friends?” In your peripheral vision you saw him lifting his eyebrows with the faintest of scowls. “Or one of those shady guys sittin’ at the bar, staring at pretty girls like you? ’Cause they’re no good for you, darlin’.”

“Oh, really?” you scoffed and lifted your chin, feeling touched that Joel was acting so protective – (and maybe even… jealous?) – about what you said. “You were the one that didn’t want to dance. What do you know about what’s good for me, anyway?”

“Those guys won’t treat you right. They just want a girl to spend the night with, and you deserve better than that.”

He was right, of course, but it didn’t mean you were going to openly give him his due. You made an acknowledging noise, not really sure what to say, but Joel didn’t seem to mind. He continued in a quiet, raspy voice that sent shivers down your spine. “You deserve someone who’d take real good care of you, darlin’. Not some drunk out of their ass idiot.”

“Are you drunk, Mr Miller?” you asked, not looking at him in fear he’ll see how red his words made you, though you could still see his smirk in the corner of your eye.

“No.”

“You act like you are.”

“C’mon, sugar, look at me.” He took your chin between his fingers and your body went rigid. His warm gaze met yours for just a second, and he tilted his head forward a little. “Do I look drunk?”

“A little.” You turned your head away, but he tsked and guided your chin back.

“In the eyes, darlin’.” You gulped at his words, and his dark, brown irises twinkled in the fairy lights dangling from the roof and walls. “And call me Joel, please.”

His chest was almost touching yours, and you felt the wooden railing digging into your lower back, but at that moment you didn’t mind at all. Joel was so close, and your breath hitched in your throat when you got enveloped in his earthy smell, with a tinge of bonfire and… was that cologne? For some reason the discovery that he used cologne for tonight made your heart flutter.

But as much as you loved every second of being so close to him, you remembered that you weren’t alone on the terrace. There was a pair of people talking – well, now kissing, judging by the sound of it – and your eyes darted to the side to see if they were looking at you both. “Come on, there are people here. It’s not…”

The man clicked his tongue in disapproval and moved slightly closer, now practically pinning you against the railing with his body, and you squealed unwillingly when he, once again, made you look at him.

“Eyes on me.”

And God, if it wasn’t the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen or heard. It was unfair how much power his gaze and tone wielded over you.

“Okay,” you managed to whimper, and the corner of his mouth curled upwards, creating that adorable dimple in his cheek.

“And my name, sugar.”

You didn't know why you were complying so easily, but something about the softness and tenderness in his voice made you feel safe. He wouldn’t hurt you, of that you were absolutely sure.

“Okay, Joel.”

His thumb brushed the edge of your bottom lip with the softest of touches, making your legs almost turn to jelly. It made you want to say his name again, though in a much more needy tone.

“That’s a good girl,” Joel murmured with a smirk, never looking away.

Lord, have mercy.

You were so grateful for the wooden rails behind your back, because you were sure you’d collapse any second now if he kept looking at you like that.

“I… Joel…”

“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” he murmured without taking his eyes off of you for even a second. Your brain was mush at this point, but even if you could formulate any words, you doubt you’d ask him to step away. So you settled on shaking your head slightly, to which Joel nodded. “Lemme know immediately if it changes, darlin’.”

How could you be so blind? All you could think about was that Angie was right – there was no way Joel Miller wasn’t flirting with you. Maybe he even liked you. Maybe – just maybe – he wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss him.

“Didn’t you wanna… get back to the party?”

You didn’t make any move to get away yourself, however, not wanting him to drop the arm with which he was holding your chin. The material of his shirt was bulging over the lines of his biceps, and it felt really nice to stand so close to him.

“I’m in no rush.” Joel’s voice dipped, and your insides tightened. “You?”

“No, but–”

“Here you are, you ol’ fucker!”

Joel took a step back, and you both turned to see his younger brother walking clumsily through the door with a big, drunken grin on his face. You cleared your throat, still breathless and blushed, but both Millers didn’t pay you any mind anymore.

“Tommy.” Joel’s face was like made out of stone, but his eyes were betraying how irritated he was with the interruption.

“You thought you’d manage to get away, ya old dog?” Tommy hooked an arm around his older brother’s shoulders and finally looked at you to send you a wink. “Sorry, sweetheart, gotta borrow ‘im for a second. He has a date to get to.”

It took you a couple of seconds to register that yes, you heard him right. A heavy veil of hurt and disbelief slowly fell down on you, and your eyes started to prickle as you looked from Tommy to Joel.

“A date?”

He had a date. Why then did he talk and act this way with you, making you feel like you ever had a chance with him?

“C’mon, don’t keep a lady waiting,” Tommy said to Joel instead of answering you, and tugged the other man back inside, but Joel didn’t move. “Who knows, maybe you’ll even get lucky tonight!”

That you couldn’t listen to.

Trying to hide how painful his words were to you, you ducked your head and tried to slip past the brothers, desperate to get out of here. A hand – which felt so achingly familiar now – shot out and grabbed your elbow before you could escape. You lifted your tearful eyes only to meet Joel’s sorrowful ones.

“Darlin’, wait. It’s not…”

“No, it’s okay,” you interrupted him, tearing your gaze away. “I wanted to go to the bathroom, anyway.”

Joel looked like he wanted to say something else, but you couldn’t bear being in his and Tommy’s presence any longer. You slipped out of his grasp, quickly coming back inside and navigating your way to the bathrooms.

He had a date for tonight. And still he flirted with you and touched you so lovingly, and… and almost…

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! To think you ever had a chance.

You dashed into the bathroom and quickly opened the first free stall you saw, then shut it behind you. There you just slumped against the wall and wrapped your arms around yourself, giving in to the flow of your tears, but trying not to make a sound.

You felt so foolish for letting yourself fall under Joel Miller’s spell, for ignoring that he obviously couldn’t be interested in someone like you.

He probably saw you as a dumb child. No wonder he’d prefer someone else, probably a woman closer to his own age.

But why did he have to be so cruel, to lead you on and hint that…

No, you realized. It was your own damn fault for letting your heart justify his every action towards you.

Almost ten minutes must’ve passed before you got a grip on yourself and decided to go find Angie. You needed to talk to someone, preferably distract yourself from the unpleasant situation you had to experience, and maybe try to salvage the evening somehow. With that in mind you took a couple of breaths, wiped your eyes and then hesitantly exited the bathroom.

You only managed to take a couple of steps, however, before your eyes were drawn to a familiar and beautiful side profile. You wished you didn’t know his face so well, because then you wouldn’t see Joel whispering something to a stunning woman you didn’t know at the far end of the room. She was hanging off his arm, bright eyes and a million-dollars smile directed solely at him. Joel appeared to be looking around, but a few seconds later he put his hand on the small of the woman’s back – just as he did earlier with you – and started walking. Neither of them looked your way before exiting through the front door and leaving the party.

As well as a gaping hole in your heart.

*****

A few minutes later you managed to find Angie. You were a mess at this point, barely able to stop yourself from sobbing. It was truly pathetic.

“I don’t know her name. But I saw them leaving, and she was hanging off his arm and–” you choked on your words and gave a humorless laugh. “God, I’m such an idiot.”

“I’m so sorry, hon.” Angie looked at you sadly. “We can ditch the party if you want. Go to my place and watch some movies,” she suggested gently, but you were already shaking your head.

“No, no. I’m fine, really, I… I think I'll just go home. But you should stay with your girlfriend.” Angie looked like she was about to protest, but you squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I promise I’m okay. I’m just gonna go straight back home and lock myself inside with a bowl of ice-cream. Or go to sleep.”

“I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

“I… I think I need to.” You gave her a weak, sad smile, and stood up. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? You have fun, I don’t want to ruin your night, too.”

“You’re not ruining anythi–”

“I mean… this. All of this stuff with,” you swallowed heavily, “him.”

Angie still seemed unconvinced, but finally nodded after a while. “Alright. But come and get me if you feel worse.”

“I promise. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Take care of yourself, okay?”

You nodded, then went towards the side exit and out into the snowy night without looking back. You didn’t want to stay here and watch as all those happy couples share sweet kisses at midnight, thus reminding you of your heartbreak.

This time you had your coat on, but it was far too thin for this kind of weather. You wrapped it tighter around yourself and hid your hands in the pockets, starting to make your way home. It was a bit far from the main square, but you needed to get away from the music and laughter of the partygoers as quickly as possible.

Alas, you only managed to walk one street away when out of nowhere, a big hand grabbed your elbow, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait.”

You turned around and took a step backwards at the same time, freeing your arm with a strong tug. The words full of anger were ready to spill out of your mouth, but that was until you saw who stood in front of you with a painful expression.

The last person you expected to see here.

“Joel?” You whispered surprisedly and looked around, but there was no one else nearby. Not that strange woman you saw him with, at least. “What are you doing here?”

“I was lookin’ for you,” he rasped between gasps, like he ran all the way here. “You weren’t at the party.”

“Why were you… What are you doing here?” you repeated more coldly, the sight of him only making your fresh heartache so much more noticeable. “I thought you left.”

“M’so sorry.” Joel’s beautiful dark eyes were full of sadness and weariness. “I would have never left you if I could help it, darlin’.”

He took half a step forward and lifted his hand slightly to graze yours with his icy-cold fingertips. You weren’t wearing any gloves either, so his touch sent a jolt up your arm. You looked down at it, but gently moved your hand away. “I don’t understand. Didn’t you have a… date?”

“No.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. You avoided his eyes and instead watched as snowflakes landed and melted in his hair. “No, it was Tommy… You saw how drunk he was, and he wanted to set me up, insisted on talking to that girl, but I…”

“You should get back to her, then,” you said dryly, really not having strength to even hide how hurtful his mere presence was. You went past him, hiding your neck in your coat. “I don’t want to keep you from–”

“Darlin’, wait.” Joel grabbed your arm again, though still gently and without any force. “Listen, she was nice, but I told her that I can’t get involved in anythin’, because I…” He faltered slightly when you looked him in the eyes, for the first time since your talk on the terrace. “There is… it’s– fuck.” He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, as if gathering courage. “There is someone else,” he finally spoke, his voice almost trembling, and looked at you again, “that I’m madly in love with. And it’s you.”

Through the open door to the party someone shouted what sounded like the time, but it was all happening in the background of your mind. All you could focus on was Joel, standing so close to you and looking almost scared as he waited for your reaction.

Cold crept up your limbs and up to your cheeks while you tried to digest what the hell you just heard, but as if held by the invisible force of his gaze, you couldn’t move an inch.

“...what?”

“I… really, really like you,” Joel whispered, his dark and sad eyes drilling into your unbelieving ones. “I went to this party just to see you, darlin’. And I’d never chose to spend the evenin’ with anyone else but you. I’m so sorry I left you like that and…”

He then gulped and very slowly lifted his hand to your face, not fully cupping your cheek but hovering just above it. He searched your eyes, but when you didn’t back away, he touched your skin carefully, and an involuntary sigh escaped you as your eyes fluttered closed.

You never thought one could be touched with such care and fondness. No one has ever treated you like that before, like you were made of the most precious glass.

“You can tell me to fuck off,” Joel whispered, and you opened your eyes to find his face a little closer than before. “I just thought that maybe… if you would maybe, too…”

He was getting flustered again, and it was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. It must’ve been close to midnight now, because you noticed that the music stopped and the racket inside the building was at its peak, though it was hard to distinguish the words people were shouting when your heartbeat was almost deafening in your ears.

“But I saw you leaving with that woman.” You had to make sure you were on the same page with him before you did something idiotic. Again. “You aren’t…?”

“No,” Joel breathed a quiet chuckle and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, while his eyes danced across your face. “It’s only ever been you, darlin’.”

Then he must’ve heard something – his head turned to the side to look at where the party was still going on, before his eyes returned to you, and you felt his thumb swiping your cheek in an oh, so tender manner.

“May I?” he asked in a whisper, so close that his breath skimmed your parted lips. You hoped he was asking about what you thought, but this time wasn’t brave enough to ask and clarify.

So you just nodded.

And Joel leaned in, without any hurry, and kissed you.

It was fitting, you supposed, that only a couple of seconds later the clock chimed midnight, and shrieks of laughter and cheers filled the air while the people still present at the party celebrated loudly. You couldn’t care less, however, because in that moment, your entire world was Joel. His – still cold – hand caressed your scorching cheek, and the other found its place on your hip. The smell of him, the warmth with which his body radiated, and the feeling of his lips, rougher in touch than you’ve imagined, but still soft in movement – all of it together was almost overwhelming.

You parted after a while with blissful sighs, though didn’t move away – Joel still held you close, his forehead pressed to yours, and eyes shut tightly, as if he was in pain. He took a trembling breath when you touched his jaw with your icy fingers.

“Tell me to stop,” he pleaded in a murmur, taking you aback. “Sugar, if you don’t… Please, tell me to stop.”

You shook your head and held onto him tighter before he even finished.

“Please, don’t stop.”

Your lips clashed again, tongues meeting and dancing together, and it was the closest you’ve ever felt to any type of heaven in this cruel, forsaken world. Joel pulled you flush against him and kissed you again, more forcefully this time, tangling his fingers in your hair. You let out an involuntary moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound immediately, not giving you a split second of respite.

“I wanted to do it a year ago,” Joel muttered between the kisses, before he took your face in his hands to look you in the eyes properly. He smiled, that same adorable and boyish smile, when he saw how breathless and flushed you were. “Wanted to kiss you so much, sugar, but,” he obviously fought back a laugh at this point, his eyes crinkling, “you got wasted and puked your guts out just before midnight.”

“Oh my god.” You didn’t know he saw it, particularly the moment when all the alcohol you consumed a year ago refused to stay in your stomach. “I wasn’t– I don’t usually… I got drunk ‘cause I saw Sheryll kissing you on the cheek,” you admitted with embarrassment, feeling your skin growing even hotter. “I thought you and her were together at that point…”

“But why did you get drunk because of it, sweet girl?” Joel mused, brushing his nose against yours and obviously teasing you. You snorted and shook your head.

“You know why.”

“I want to hear it from you.”

You playfully pushed him away lightly, but he tightened his grip around you, not letting you step away.

“You’re an asshole sometimes,” you whispered, making Joel chuckle. “Fine. I really wanted to kiss you, too. Happy?”

He smiled and kissed you again, softly and passionately this time, cradling your cheek in his palm.

“Very,” he whispered against your lips and dragged his nose up to plant a kiss on your forehead. “Very much, baby.”

Your heart fluttered with joy at his affectionate tone. Joel pulled away, his hands leaving your body to cover your own, situated on his jaw and arm.

“Now, what do you say we head back inside?” he asked with a disarming smile, brushing your knuckles with his thumbs. “And maybe you’ll let me ask you for a dance?”

You didn’t give an answer, but the joyous kiss you pressed to his lips – which, with your enthusiasm, almost made both of you topple over into the snow – spoke for itself.

[mandiemegatron]

This is a Mandie Appreciation Ask!! You exude so much genuine warmth and care and love into every interaction you have and every post you make, and I just adore you buddy. You go out of your way all the time to make sure people--even ones who might not realize they need it--feel seen and heard and appreciated, and just want you to know that I see and hear and appreciate YOU. You have a wonderful, curious mind, killer talent, and a beautiful heart, and I just hope you know that, today and every day!!!

Av my beloved, I genuinely fr can't begin to tell you how much this means to me. To know that even one person thinks I've made the smallest difference just by being the person I am, makes everything worth it. I struggle so hard with finding reasons to keep going but it's people like you who I've created connections with that make me feel like in the end, it's all worth it, it's all worth every little piece 😭😭😭

I adore YOU, and I'm so very thankful for you and for every mutual I have that stops in to remind me how beautiful everything is. I try so hard to keep my blog as a safe space for people to feel welcome to and friends like you make it so easy to feel warm and comfortable here. I love yall so much I can't even describe 😭😭😭💖💖💖💖

Seriously from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

[pathetic-gamer]

obligatory 2023 highlight reel 😤

This isn't by interaction metrics, but by how much I like them/how proud of them I am. Also, I tried to pick these to show some range lol

Fics:

Lost and Found - a fun little netteflix romp full of twists and turns and violence :)

Angels in the Architecture - going all the way back to Jan for this one! the angstiest of angsty netteflix

How Terribly Strange - fluff and romance ^-^ mostly netteflix, but some background dimimari!!

Art:

(list first, then the art)

tie between Lyn, emblem of blazing, and Felix, shield's successor - picked these ones for the "inked" art style, which I did quite a few of this year! most of my favorites from the year were actually in this style, but for variety's sake, I'm only including two lol

felix color wheel, i mean, this one is obvious, right? I think it really accurately represents my art style, down to the messy sketchy vibe and the overwhelming amount of Felixes lol

All-in-all, I think it was a good year for my art/writing, but there's always room to improve! I'll talk about my goals for 2024 below the cut. I'm including these mostly so I can have them clearly stated in one place for the sake of keeping myself on track ^-^

enormous thank you to yall for being so kind and supportive!!! this feels like a silly thing to say when there are like maximum 3 people actually reading this, but I really do appreciate you, my beloved friends and mutuals and all my fellow weirdos who live in my phone ❤️❤️❤️ Happy new year!

okay, sorry for getting sappy - i really do feel a little weird being like "thank you to my loyal fans 😌" LMAO

anyway, my goals for 2024 are mostly quality oriented - I want to spend more time on things in general so I don't feel like I'm just generating stuff for likes. specifically, I want to:

Do more full-color, complete illustration type pieces, setting a tentative goal of five. That doesn't sound like a lot, but I only made one in 2023, because I'm just not patient enough and get intimidated.

practice drawing a wider variety of poses and expressions. enough 3/4 busts/headshots! draw some bodies! draw someone other than felix!!

stay more focused on individual fics/spend more time on each one to keep the quality, style, and tone more consistent.

and, of course, I do want to draw more things for other games than fe3h, especially triangle strategy. I also want to write something for kentlyn (fe7).

We'll see how far I get with literally any of these goals, but my hope is that this post will at the very least keep me on track 🙃

okay that's all, love you bye!!!!

[a-wild-things-rambles]

i in a bit of a weird time rn. ive been majorly online in some form since 2020, but only in the last months of 22 did i start posting/creating anything to more than discord servers and friends.

as you can see with the new icon and the fact ive posted more art in a few days that i have... ever on this blog, im readdressing my proiritys when it comes to our beloved interweb. my 'successful' pieces of art were gifts to bigger creatives. ive done lot of fandom stuff, and been inspired by the creatives around me.

but emulation isnt good for the self. ive had alot of issues with going from traditional to digital, especially with the gap in expertise, ive learnt and grown [albeit in my own stubborn way without getting help] and how for fictional characters its hard to get refrences.

i am a visual artist, i work best of pictures or models, not having to fuiger out what things look like and how body's work. i have done some stunning [if i say so myslef] graphite drawing which while not 100% photo-realistic are pretty damn close. i have trialed and error-ed my way through the basics, and i can do things like the dick grayson alone anamatic with fast and quick drawings of bodys in motion.

as i mentioned earlier, the bone/skeleton pieces are not just easier and more interesting for me to do, but a lot less stressful, i do them for myself, for my skills, and how i see light.

going forward id say to expect less fandomy stuff. more still lifes and objects and buildings. ill still do people drawings but their not my favorite to do. im not gonna never do anything fandom related ever again. but dont expect it id say.

an artists journey is a long and ever changing one, im still slowly getting a 'style' and i think moving to subjects i enjoy drawing more will help me avoid burnout and stress. art is my relaxing thing to do after long hours and stressful days, and i want to keep it that way.

as i grow even more conscious of the future and jobs and all that, i want to grasp my freedom i have right now, use it to make stuff i enjoy, and maybe get my own little corner of the internet, being able to continue my art through the years ahead. i want to get something im good at. to be the neon skeleton artist. or the bones bitch. gain an identity and something for being me and doing what i enjoy.

idk. this dosent mean much change. but i hope yall stick with me for whatever happens. ive really enjoyed tumblr and everything so far, thank you for sticking around, beloved mutuals new and old, and all the regulars in my notifs! and everyone who has liked or shared or commented on my works, it means the world and has got me though a lot.

[fangwhoria]

tagged by my beloved lyle @kissingcannibals

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Jane <333 full name Jane Doe Cannibalghost

2. when is your birthday?

09/16/2002 yes im a virgo yes thats why im sexier than you

3. where do you live?

yall want my SSN too? im living in los angeles rn

4. three things you are doing right now?

well i just woke up so i am sitting in bed, listening to talking heads, and procrastinating getting ready for work

5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

well im pretty much permanently stuck in hannibal land rn but ive been venturing into the saw movies lately, as well the the ccu (cronenberg cinematic universe). is true crime a fandom? i hope not but yeah i am the white girl who listens to true crime that penelope scott warned you about <3 i dont think the blair witch project has a fandom but if she has many fans i am one of them. if she has 3 fans i am one of them. if she has 1 fan i am that fan. if she has no fans then i am gone from this world

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

the first like 11 months were my joker arc i got so much worse but then i went to college because my school was really safe with covid procedures in the fall so it was safe to go in the spring and now im like. fine

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

(nothing but) flowers by the talking heads

8. recommend a movie:

pg: psycho goreman if you like practical effects, extremely 80s aesthetics without being nostalgia porn, and evil little girls <3 (an actually good movie rec: sympathy for lady vengeance)

9. how old are you?

18 ;)

10. school, university, occupation, other?

im in college but im on summer vacation rn so im working part time at an amusement park

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

COLD please i hate heat i hate it i cant wait to move permanently to the PNW

12. name one fact others may not know about you:

this blog started as a v*ltron blog please do not tell anyone i was 14

13. are you shy?

i used to be but then i stopped giving a shit about everything

14. preferred pronouns?

just boring old she/her please

15. biggest pet peeves?

people tlaking during movies/tv shows but only when ive decided its not okay for them to talk. also when im showing a movie or smth to someone but theyre on their phone

16. what is your favourite “dere” type?

i dont know what that means and i refuse to use google

17. rate your life from 1-10:

on the whole? like a 7

18. what’s your main blog?

this one!

19. list your sideblogs and what they’re used for:

i think my writing sideblog is still up but i dont use it anymore because i actually hate talking publicly about my writing cuz it makes me feel like an idiot <3 i dont have any other sideblogs

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

i dont shut the fuck up ever

i dont know which of my beloved mutuals have already been tagged so if you see this and want to do it just do it and say i tagged you!!

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Written Scenario Requests and Moodboard Requests are now OPEN!

Admin: Hello everyone!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR 2K FOLLOWERS!!!! We’re all screaming and after finally clearing all our old written requests and the dates from our 1k follower special, we will now open written requests again as well as open moodboard requests! Please keep in mind we will be adhering to our rules and guidelines for requests and will be listing moodboard request rules below. Also note that since all of us are in school, we may not get requests up right away, so if we get a lot we may choose to close them again until further notice, it all depends. Thank you all for your love and support again! <3

Moodboard requests:

either one member, ship or unit at a time

preferably tell us a color theme (like red, blue, black, etc.)

up to two colors per moodboard

or

tell us a theme

it can be something like “boyfriend aesthetic” or “inspired by the Jun soulmate au” or “based off svt’s song don’t listen in secret” or something like “autumn Soonyoung” as examples

Here’s an example moodboard: “Minghao couple nature aesthetic” 

“‘You said you like the sun, but when you go outside you find shade. You said you like the rain, but when it rains you use an umbrella. That’s why when you said you like me, I was afraid.’ The8 told me that.” -Junhui 

ALSO… If you guys wanna read it, here are some things the admin have to say^~^

Admin Soph: I'm honestly so proud of how far this blog has come. Went from a follower to an admin real fast  😂. No but really. I was freaking nervous when I sent in an application. I wanted to be a part of this blog to strengthen my writing skills (and love for Seventeen) and get to know the amazing people behind it. But I also didn't know whether I would be able to give you guys content that you all will like and deserve. AND I HONESTLY DONT KNOW WHY IM EVEN HERE HAHA.

And I just want to appreciate every single one of you. You guys are literally the sweetest bbys ♥️ ♥️ . My heart always warms up when we receive an ask and it’s for the admins asking whether we're okay and taking care of ourselves. I just want to cuddle you all in warm blankets and take care of you. And I'm saying this now if you guys ever have any problem and feel like talking to someone.Or if you just want to be friends. We're always here~ 

And on that note. To all the mutuals that I have had the chance to talk to. Y'all are amazing. I don't understand why you guys are still talking to me tbh. That's why you're all precious to me ohmygod 💞 💞 . Also, I'm sorry if I don’t reply much. IM A VERY INTROVERTED PERSON AND I ALWAYS MAKE SITUATIONS AWKWARD AHAHA. But if you guys want to talk to me about something, I’ll drop everything and talk to you. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU DESERVE LOVE AND I SHALL GIVE YOU LOVE IF YOU NEED IT  💞 💞 .

Imma write something for Jun too. Because I’ve been with this baby boy for a very long time. I love him so so much 💖 . There are times where I want to fight him. And there are times where I just want to bubble wrap him and protect him. Literally makes me go through different emotions in one day. But mostly it’s the feeling of happiness. Jun is a big reason as to why I'm slowly loving myself. With him being a funny confident dude, I found out that I can be like that too. And ever since I did, I have been feeling nothing but happiness and I want to thank him for that. I hope I will be able to meet him someday and tell him what a wonderful human being he is.

Now to the amazing and beautiful admins. Imma write something for each one of you but first and foremost I just want to say that ya’ll are precious to me. I might not talk a lot and barely reply in the gc (iM SOWI I WILL CHANGE THAT I PROMISE HAHA). But know that you guys have a very special place in my heart. And that's beside Seventeen. Been only a few months and I'm very thankful that I met yall. You guys are like my family at this point and I wanna keep it at that even after this blog.

Now onto Jess. My fave Joshua stan no joke. LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL AND HAS A VOICE OF AN ANGEL I SWEAR SHE’S PERFECT FOR JOSHUA FIGHT ME. Literally the sweetest human being. Even though she’s older than me, I want to protect her ohmygod. I love Jess very much. You guys don’t even know. She is very nice. I don’t know how she is able to keep that image tbh. She is also very VERY HARDWORKING. I want to freaking start a petition for Jess to rest. It amazes me how she copes with all this school work and with this blog. And man if you ever need someone to coo about Joshua, Jess is that person. She is so whipped in love with Shua. And with Jun second on her bias list and with Joshua on mine, we both basically die because of Junshua. 

Meagan is next!! Meagan is literally the definition of aesthetic . Literally from her fashion style and her freaking bullet journal. And her bias is aesthetic himself asdfghjk. And also her writing style. I adore her writing very much. And I literally asked her for writing advice HAHA. She is a very soft-hearted person. And a very good person to ask advice from. Like I would definitely go to her if I ever have a problem. sHE IS ALSO VERY PRETTY????? LIKE HER INSTAGRAM MAKES ME QUESTION MYSELF. LIKE SHE IS SO DAMN PRETTY I DONT UNDERSTAND HAHA. Also how she is able to converse with everyone amazes me. Overall an amazing older sister for me  💖 I love ya Meagan~

And lastly my fellow youngling Seri. I just want to point this out now. If anyone dares to fight Seri, I’ll be there. This person right here is very precious. And I will fight to keep it at that. You can tell that I love her very much. She is near my age so it’s very comforting for me to have someone close to my age. Also her love for Soonyoung is the cutest thing. Whenever she and Meagan talk bout Soonyoung and being whipped for Soonyoung I just can't. So adorable. She is also very beautiful. He makeup skills are on point. Like please teach me, I'm a potato HAHAH. And can we just talk about how cute her name is? Seri is so goddamn adorable. Just like her.

Amazing that even though we live in different timezones, we will always find time for each other. I love these peeps very much. And I'm thankful for Seventeen for helping me find them.

Pretty long but oh well. This happens when you make the quietest person talk HAHA. But seriously, you guys mean everything to me at this point. Like I feel safe knowing that I have 3 angels watching over me. And I just want you guys to know that I also have your back. Hope our friendship will strengthen as years go by  💖 💖. And to our dear followers, please stay sweet. We’ll always love you. And Seventeen loves you guys too. Let’s make more memories together~

Admin Meagan: Tbh, when I applied to become an admin for this blog I really didn't think I would actually be picked. But look at me now AHAHAHA. I'm so so glad that I became an admin for this blog because it combines two things I love. Writing and seventeen.

I don't think you guys know how much I enjoy writing something and seeing how much people liked it as well. Especially when you guys send us direct compliments in our ask box. I don't think you guys know how much we coo in our admin group chat about the sweet stuff y'all send to us sometimes 💓

To the mutuals I've made from this blog, thank you so much for talking to me. I'm a pretty social person and I enjoy talking to anyone so thank you for that. And I enjoy the stuff y'all reblog as well AHAHAHAHA you guys are amazing and tenks for being a friend.

Honestly, Seventeen has undeniably made me happy. From listening to their songs when I'm mad to calm down to being an emotional wreck during Diamond Edge. I truly care about the boys and this blog made me love them even more. Also, I want to give a little shout out to my ethereal star, Kwon Soonyoung for literally brightening up my day all the time ✨

Thank you for being my ult bias and being extremely cute. You mean a lot to me for sure. Onto our beloved admins, firstly Jess. Y'all don't know how amazing she is. She's immensely smart and so caring. In these past few months of being friends, she's definitely a kind-hearted person and it really shows through. From listening to my past boy drama (like literally, I sent her voice messages and it was like 1-2am for her I'm,,,) to her giving advice to me. She's truly a gem and like an older sister <3 Also guys, she's really pretty!!! Even though she denies it :p and also a good singer!

Next is, Seri!!! Firstly, Seri is exceptionally funny, I swear the things she says sometimes in the group chat is hilarious. Also, she's sooooo good at makeup y'all and hella stunning as well. I always go to her for tips and we always share our makeup of the day with each other AHAHAHAHA. Seri is so kind and such an amazing support system and you can literally talk to her about anything AHAHAHAHAHA. I truly appreciate her being a friend <3 and the fact she stans hosh as well hehe

And to our maknae! Sophia but we always call her Soph. The best Jun stan I've met in my life. A creative little fellow and she also dances!! And also gives me tips for dance because I'm literally a stick AHAHAHAH She's so cute as well!! And such a caring bean <333 Also she likes attacking the rest of us with pictures of our biases 😂 Need a span of Joshua?? Soph is always ready lmao

Y'all mean a lot to me and I can't believe the amount of support I've gotten from all of you for a lot of things. From picking outfits to fangirling with me during my concert. I honestly don't mind opening up to y'all which I don't often do at all. I really like how you guys are always there and whenever one of us is down or have some tea to spill, everyone is on board AHAHAHAHA.

I seriously love all the admins so much because they are friends that I cherish quite a lot. I cannot wait for the day we all can meet somewhere and just hang out together and just have fun, heh 💓 We really need to start skyping with each other and pls one day come to Malaysia!!! I'm gonna bring you guys around for good food and photoshoots!! (I take really good pictures if I say so myself, if you wanna see them. Message me for my Instagram AHAHAHAHA)

Most importantly, thank you to literally everyone who've read our work and enjoyed it, to those who reblog and heart our stuff; thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ And to our readers I've personally talked to personally, y'all are really cool and tenks for talking to this nerd lmao. I can't wait to see this blog grow even more and to experience new things with seventeen and you guys. Love y'all 

Admin Seri: first THANK YOU, for making it this far >< 

Wow, well I’m speechless, honestly I’m not even sure what to say, so i apologize in advance how unorganized this ESSAY is about to be. 

First, i’ve always been curious on writing scenarios like this, and i definitely think I was good enough. So any thoughts of running a blog was like, jumping off a cliff, it was best to keep it out of mind. Me and Jess, met through an online groupchat that I seriously never thought would lead to this. Funny thing, I was on vacation,  when I joined, one-two weeks after Jess made the blog. With all of my curiosity of what it was like, I was kind of bored and wanted to give it a shot. Legit I expected like 500 followers after like, a year? NEVER did i think we’d have 2000 after 5 months. like WHAT. 

To Seventeen, the talented, amazing dorks, where my vocabulary is not big enough to describe them. aside from the fact I love, adore, and admire them very much, (if i stayed here and talked about  they are a team with a lovely team backing them up. CARATSSSSSS ;))) without Seventeen, there would be no blog, and with no blog, i wouldn’t have met the three other amazing admins, other tumblr mutuals, and our amazing readers ^~^ .  

First to Soph, I- just know she is adorable, that’s all, the cutest freaking Jun stan ever. she’s only a feel months younger than me but i feel like im a grandma with all the energy she has because she’s on a dance team and how tired I am all the time. i’m thankful i get to wake up to her spam of pictures also :’)  honestly rip to her storage, :’) let’s keep together lovely! US MAKNAES SHOULD STICK TOGETHER!!! ;) our own lil maknae line leggoooo ;) <3

Meagan my fellow hosh stan, oh my god she is actually my aesthetic, from bullet journaling SHE IS AMAZING, to makeup I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MAKEUP (someone who can actually deal with that because my obsession is bad hehe) she’s gorgeous and i feel blessed to find a friend like her, (not because of her connections in Malaysia or something COUGH) im jp ;) she’s just someone i can always ask an honest opinion from, and im thankful for that <3

Then Jess, I’m trying not to tear up right now and I honestly don’t ever cry unless I’m watching a TV show, honestly. she’s been here from me through and through and our friendship feels a lot longer than five months. I already know our friendship will last even when we one day will sadly have to end the blog :’), and i’m ready to meet because im planing this trip already like LETS GO LET KOREAN BBQ bc proud foodie right here, hell any of the admins. this is gonna sound so mushy oh god but i feel i’ve grown and learned so much from her and she never makes me feel stupid for asking a question. moving on, GUYS OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE ACTUALLY GREAT LIKE AFJFOLAENGV on of the more memorable ones is when she introduced me to that song, YES JESS YOU KNOW. and most importantly, thank you for being my mom and just being there for me , because im truely thankful for that <3

TO OUR FOLLOWERS, there’s 2000 of you guys WHAT, welcome to our craziness and thanks for sticking around! I’d love to get to know you guys so don’t be scared to message me @bloatedboo !! i’m not great with words but know every single one of you guys are in my heart whether i know your name or not. <3

Admin Jess: Brace yourselves, I have lots to say😂.

First off, if you had asked me if I had expected to hit 100 followers let alone the 2,000 followers we have now when I first started this, I would have laughed. It is a bit of a crazy number to wrap our heads around, but I’m insanely grateful and I might actually start crying. This whole thing started off as simply a hobby, something I could use to vent my love for the 13 boys that have my heart, but it became so much more after a while. It almost didn’t happen too, just like our beloved soulmate series, everything came down to being in the right place at the right time and having everything line up perfectly before the hard work and passion kicked in haha. I’ll state my thanks here so that I can get it out in words rather than tears. I won’t get too much into how when I started this blog with Seri, I was not in a very happy place. But that’s not the important part. The thing is I met incredible people through this blog and learned many things. I learned how to not let every criticism and mean comment get to me, and rather to learn to grow and try to do the best I can. Nothing brightens my day more than hearing I made people smile, there’s nothing else I’d rather do with my time:) ahem now for my thanks (and yes I’m going to thank Seventeen bc I’m hella extra)

Seventeen have made me v v happy and continue to do so to this day. While I may declare my love and hatred (jokingly) and say I’m unstanning, I really love all 13 boys with all my heart. All the admin have talked about it, but when we’re writing for them or answering asks, they don’t seem like just idols to us. They’re friends who love each other, real genuine people who are beautiful inside and out. I’d like to thank them for just being them, for bringing a smile to my face whenever I feel down. Honestly so sappy and cringe but true nevertheless. I love Svt a whole lot <3

Joshua, EXCUSE ME AS I GET HELLA EMOTIONAL I CAN’T JUST WRITE TWO SENTENCES ABOUT THIS GUY;&:9;$2. So I’ll try to keep it short. Joshua, I am the most grateful to him for his undying love for his friends, for his hard work at always being the best person possible, and for genuinely making me smile. He’s the kind of person I want to be, someone who is kind-hearted and tries his very best at everything he does and ilhssm.

I can feel myself tearing up woohee this is going great. I’d like to thank the many internet friends and mutuals I met, through this blog. Initially I had simply wanted people to fangirl with svt about and I got so so much more. There is a moment I remember distinctly 2 weeks ago, I had been really stressed about my slew of tests and I had maybe gotten 20 hours of sleep in the entire week and had told my friends in real life but also my internet friends (you know who you are and ily) and I was bombarded with messages of support from everyone in the morning and I dead af kid you not sat and cried because how did I deserve such amazing support and friends. People who had never seen me before were genuinely concerned about my health and mentality and nothing nothing made me cry more than just the sheer amount of support I got. I had mentioned in our admin chat how I regretted not doing enough due to exams and my bb’s legit were screaming at me to sleep and that it’s ok and everything will be ok if I didn’t answer everything right away and just focused on me and it’s prob one of the moments in my life that I felt the most support and love ever. and so that takes me to my few final thanks….

Soph, okie hands down my favorite Jun stan I’m sorry everyone, I love Soph lots omfg. She’s so talented!!! I’m living for the day where she kills me with her dancing just as Junhui does to all of us, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to learn svt and bts choreo and run this blog lmao. Soph, I love how you hype Josh with me and how we all suffer together when we send svt pictures and honestly thank you thank you thank you so so much for being not only an admin but a valuable friend.

Meagan, I can always count on her to send me pictures of Joshua on Instagram and I love her lots too. I love how despite living 16 hours apart, we can still have conversations about boy drama (no not svt lmao svt wouldn’t do us dirty like boys irl) and fangirl about Josh and svt and just everything. She’s incredibly talented too, her writing and she’s so pretty I die. Meagan, I love how I can say something and count on you to talk about it, it’s beautiful and fun, thank you so so much admin and friend.

And finally, I’d like to thank Seri. Seri has been with me on this rollercoaster of a ride since the very beginning. I found it incredible how the two of us just *clicked* ya know? She’s the type of friend who says one thing and two hours later, she and I are both dying from laughter on the ground in stitches. I’ve never genuinely laughed more than some convos I’ve had with her. I’m also surprised she has yet to hear me screaming at her from across the country, I’m pretty sure I’m loud enough that she could hear me. She’ll prob forever be my aegi whether she likes it or not and while I honestly don’t know how much longer I’ll stan svt, I do hope that our friendship can far outlast our time together here on the blog (plus I swear imma buy her plane tickets somehow so we can go to an svt concert together or disneyland before I die). I’ve ranted to her lots and I complain to her lots but she never tells me I’m annoying and for that, I’m also thankful XD. I think I have learned quite a lot from her, including how to have thicker skin and I love her so so so much. Seri, thank you for everything lovely, let’s continue growing as friends and people together ^~^

Final remarks, I think what has always drawn me to svt is just the sheer comradery and love they have for each other. It’s undeniable they’re family to one another. I had always been somewhat jealous of their adorable friendships and funny chemistry. But as I look back on it now, I found my own sort of svt, in the people, friends, and stories I interact with everyday here, and for that I can only say thank you.