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crash-cinematic-universe · 4 years

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stories from the rooftop

pairing: ftm!peter maximoff/bisexual!fem!reader

summary/request: Can you write a trans!Peter Maximoff x bisexual!female reader (like insecurities and all that and just general fluff) - anon

warnings: insecurities

notes: Sorry this took so long, I had to research some stuff. I hope u like it!!! it’s just over 2k words and I worked really hard and i am very Proud.

taglist: @creator-appreciator

The sun was low on the horizon, a golden glow filled the sky as the bright star disappeared bit by bit. It was peaceful and calm, the quiet sound of the warm summer breeze rustling the leaves somehow slowing down time. Peter was sitting on the roof of the mansion next to a pretty girl watching the sunset. Every now and then her hand would brush his and his skin would tingle and his heart would skip a beat and his cheeks would flush. He took a deep breath and focused on the feeling of the air in his lungs. His eyes fluttered shut and he ran his hand through his hair.

Peter couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this. He couldn’t remember the last moment where he didn’t have to worry about anyone or anything. Everything was always chaotic and hard and confusing-- Peter had gotten so tired of everything going so fast all the time. Now, Peter could just lie back and watch the world go by slowly. He could lie down next to a pretty girl who would lie down next to him. He doesn’t think she knows that Peter loves her with all his heart, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Everyone around him knew it, they knew that he would do anything for the pretty girl beside him. They teased him about it and Peter laughed, but deep down inside a fear began to fester. The fear that he was somehow unlovable grew inside of his chest, and it grew with each day.

The past was filled with hardships for the jittery boy-- his teenage years were filled with self-discovery. He was a mutant, gifted with the power of super speed. At first, it didn’t feel like a gift. Everyone around him would fear him, and he soon found himself all alone. No one wanted to be friends with the mutant freak, after all. That wasn’t the only thing Peter discovered as a teenager. You see, at age 14, Peter realized he had never felt comfortable in his own skin. When he looked in the mirror he didn’t see the man he was-- he saw a stranger. The girl in the mirror wasn’t Peter and she never would be, because Peter was Peter and no one else. He was a man-- he always has been and always would be.

As Peter reflected on his teenage years, he found himself feeling a great pain for his younger self. He remembered every emotion: the panic, the fear of rejection, the insecurity, and the looming thought that Peter would never look like the person he was. However, Peter also remembered all the good. He remembered the relieving, accepting embrace of his mother. He remembered the joyful days he spent with his sisters in his bedroom playing video games and watching movies. He remembered how it felt to arrive at Xavier’s and be totally welcome by everyone. The story of Peter Maximoff is not a tragedy, it’s a tale of hope; and right then, sitting next to the pretty girl on the roof, Peter Maximoff shook away the sad memories and focused on the moment.

The pretty girl beside Peter peered below at the flowerbeds at the foot of the wall she was looming over. She studied the colors and smiled softly. She too, had faced a lot as a teenager and she too, was content sitting next to the beautiful boy on the roof. She loved him. A lot. More than she’d ever loved anyone-- at least, that’s what she thought. She wasn’t really sure who she loved, or how much, but she was 100% sure that she loved Peter.

Love had always been a touchy subject for Y/n. She didn’t know what love was for the longest time. She just assumed that love was something that every girl felt for a boy and every boy felt for a girl and that was it; that’s why she was so confused when she began feeling what she felt for boys for other girls. The butterflies that would fly in her stomach for any boy in her class would erupt for the girls that would sit beside her. Her heart would skip a beat for the pretty girl giving her science presentation in the same way her heart would stutter for the pretty boy telling her about a book he’d read.

Her mutation activated when she was in 8th grade. She was sitting, hidden under the bleachers with the pretty girl from her science class. Y/n had made an offhand remark about a nasty teacher and the pretty girl laughed. Y/n focused on it hard, and it sent a booming sound wave out from their location. Suddenly the pretty science girl was running away from Y/n, and the echo of her perfect laugh was the only thing she had left. None of the pretty boys or pretty girls would talk to her after that-- she was a monster, an evil creature waiting until the perfect time to strike. She felt as if she was meant to be alone. The thought made her sad, but she shook it away. She didn’t want to be sad now. No, now she just wanted to be next to the beautiful boy she loved. She wasn’t alone anymore.

Peter’s head filled with thoughts of the future. Eventually, the two of them would have to get off the roof and say goodbye. Even if they would see each other in the morning, every second Peter spent away from her felt incredibly lonely. Neither of them wanted to walk away from this moment, neither of them wanted to let go of everything that they were feeling. But Peter didn’t think Y/n would want to stay much longer. Soon she would get bored of him-- after all, he was just a silly, lovestruck boy who didn’t know how to express his feelings. Could she love him? Could she love every quirk and every flaw and every blemish and every insecurity? Could she love his personality and his appearance and his humor? Could she really love him? Peter wasn’t sure. He really hoped she did, though.

“Don’t you wish this could be forever?” Peter spoke softly. It startled Y/n just a bit.

“This?” She asked. She couldn’t really process the idea that Peter would want to be right here, with her, forever. The pretty girl next to Peter that he loved so, so much believed that Peter was bored on top of the roof with her. He would never get bored of her-- Y/n could read the dictionary and still hold Peter’s full attention, and he’d cherish every word she said and every intricate definition. A word Peter would associate with this moment would be insangelous, equivalent to angels.

“Yeah,” He sighed a good sigh. “I dunno, everything just feels… right with you, ya know? I don’t ever want this perfect feeling to end.” Peter’s face flashed with the sparkle of an idea. Peter’s mind filled with the warm images of the two of them leaving the mansion at night and exploring the world by themselves. Sure, Peter loved the mansion, but he knew there was more out there for him. There was more to see, more to do, more to experience. But he didn’t want to experience any of that without Y/n by his side. “What if we--” He paused for a moment. The sparkle in his eye faded quickly as she shook away the idea. She would never want to escape with him. She would never want him. He was just a stupid man with stupid ideas. “Actually, nevermind.”

“No, keep going,” Y/n urged softly. “Please.” The look in her eyes was enough to get Peter to spill his guts.

“I was just thinking, what if we… what if we ran away? Just you and me against the world. Then this feeling would last forever.” Peter’s heart dropped slightly as the pretty girl was shocked into silence, the beautiful images of him and her being together until the end of time fading away. He felt stupid and foolish and decided that he would simply never speak again. “It’s stupid. Forget I ever said anything-- it’s a dumb idea anyway.”

“No it isn’t,” Y/n spoke softly, so softly Peter had to lean a bit closer to hear her. “That idea isn’t stupid, it’s beautiful.”

Peter looked at the pretty girl that was sitting next to him on the roof as if she was a goddess. He never thought he could feel so much for one person. He never thought so few words could make him feel everything at once. A warm fuzzy feeling filled his chest as the pretty girl reached out and gently placed her hand on his. His breath got caught in his throat and he tried not to choke on his feelings.

“Peter?” She called. Peter thought his name sounded so nice when it came from her, and Y/n thought Peter’s name was the most precious word in the English language. She looked into his deep dark eyes, the final golden sun rays making the dark brown hue of his irises shift into an endless golden shimmer. She spoke her next words carefully, savoring every syllable. “I love you.”

For a moment, Peter thought he would fall off the roof. His golden eyes filled with tears because three words made him feel so much he almost couldn’t take it. There he was, sitting on a roof 30 feet above the solid ground feeling more safe and welcome and accepted than he had ever felt anywhere else. The pretty girl sitting next to him on the roof as they watched the stars fill the night sky loved him. She loved him. It was only when the pretty girl began to look worried that Peter realized he hadn’t said anything in response.

“I--” He began, but he soon stopped. He couldn’t just say ‘I love you’ because that would barely capture a fraction of everything he felt for her. Peter would simply have to find another way to show her exactly how much he loved her, but for now, he would use his words. “I love you, too. More than anything. You’re my best friend and I love you.” Peter was afraid that he sounded redundant, but Y/n just thought he was being cute.

Y/n looked at the beautiful man beside her and moved a little closer to him. Her fingers laced with his and they began to sit in a comfortable silence. Peter’s tears fell freely, but they were good tears. Y/n didn’t say anything, she simply wiped away his tears and held his hand and looked at the stars that replaced the golden sun.

Peter never thought something like this would happen to him. The idea of loving someone so much that it hurts seemed outlandish to the silver-haired boy, the idea that his love would be requited even more so. Nevertheless, there he was, next to the pretty girl on the roof with his hand in hers and her love in his heart. He felt safe. He felt comfortable. He felt like his whole body was lighting up like a lighting bug. He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt and his chest swelled and he felt so, so, so happy.

“Y/n?” Peter asked quietly, his voice cracking as he spoke. “Will you… will you say it again? That you love me?” She smiled softly.

“I love you, Peter Maximoff,” her gentle words made Peter shiver. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to hearing her say that. “You’re the most extraordinary man I’ve ever met.” Peter was afraid that she’d get tired of saying she loved him-- or worse, that he was being annoying or overbearing by needing her affection so much. Y/n would show him soon enough that she could never get tired of him.

“I love you so much I think it might kill me,” He chuckled softly. “You’re…” he searched his brain for a perfect word to describe the way the pretty girl next to him on the roof looked in the starlight as she told him she loved him. Then, it came to him, and he grinned. “... insangelous.”

#Evan Peters #peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximof x reader #quicksilver #quicksilver x reader #xmen fanfiction #xmen imagine #trans!peter #request #bisexual reader

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painted-crow · 4 years

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Submission Time #10

so grateful for any input--it's a bit of a doozy but it's been weighing on me for a while :')

after struggling with my sorting literally forever i'm just realizing it might be burned. like... a couple layers of charring on the primary imo, and the secondary isn't doing so hot either. i've been cutting this down and it still reads like a sad diary entry but hopefully it's a bit more comprehensible now.

Spoiler alert: I've read ahead and... yes, friend, you're Burned. Hugs.

This post includes semi random bonus colors thrown in because there's like... lots of words I could say, and I don't have that many words available in my brain's stockroom right now, so we're extra colorful instead. Enjoy?

primary-wise, i would LIKE to trust my gut, but who hasn't had irrational, overwhelming feelings before? i can't make sense of it, fast enough or ever--and people who think they can make me jealous/nervous--so i go for rules, fact-checking, advice to find somewhere safe again. until of course that advice turns sketchy or uncomfy. then, even if i don't know WHY, i have to ditch it (which is also uncomfy bc it's flimsy and inexplicable but sticking w something that feels questionable hurts worse, even if it's more logical).

You might have already figured this out since writing this, but you're like... a textbook Stripped Gryff. Ouch.

It also sounds like you've tried to pick up a model or two to fill the gap, but it keeps falling apart on you...

worst is that tied up in the advice i abandon are my feelings about the people who gave it! i take into account only the people i'm Invested in, and an idea can't stay without its source. it SUCKS, bc i do love them and want to trust them, but i can't in good faith stick with assholes. (i work within do no harm principles so it doesn't matter if they're nice to me--i'm rlly not better than anyone else, and in any case, a baseline of respect is important.) i've had to drop a lot of people and a lot of ideas lately, with few exceptions who i'm still mad but they are Necessary for Life. i've just resolved to not talk about it, bc apparently you'll have to force me to concede once an argument has started.

the world can be weird and changeable, but i need to be certain, and my trust in my decisions and ideas has been gone for awhile. i don't feel concrete trusting my gut on what's best, but then the systems i built as failsafes are faulty, too, because they're from people who i trusted but, it turns out, never really knew--which again loops back to another interlocking layer of messy decision-making. the whole thing just calls my judgment into question, and the withered, cynical part is like... who cares? pick a thing and stick to it, even though there's going to be something wrong with it, bc there's something wrong with everything and you're losing the last of your marbles asking so many things. (this might also be why i've been trickling in anon questions to everyone for like, months now: i've had every single one of the sortings, but also... not really? it doesn't work right. i read and agree, then read again and disagree. i go "ok makes sense" then go "...does it really? how do you know?" even though who else would know!!! who else would be able to confirm but me!!! d u d e)

Ohhhh boy. I have an answer to suggest but it's not a happy one. Here's my guess:

Your Gryff primary is badly Stripped.

You patched it up with a Ravenclaw primary model... which then Fell.

You rebuilt the Ravenclaw model in a very Slytherin primary way... and then the Slytherin Petrified.

Now you've got remnants of all of them hanging around, they all feel Burned because they are, and you're having a hard time telling which is which.

Hard to blame you.

I do think you're a Gryff underneath because that's what you keep coming back to. The people you chose turning out to be not what you signed up for, you see that as a poor reflection on your judgment. You describe your Ravenclaw systems as a fail-safe, which suggests it's something you picked up.

+ idk if it'll help at all with the primary sorting but i'm a rapid bird secondary (planning! collecting!) at the base, with some kind of improvisational model that comes out specifically for interaction. i like to play a part around people. it's fun, helpful, and different for everyone: the part isn't a lie so much as it is my personality flipped to what i've figured out fits best for the situation--like wearing makeup for work or for going out. but the mask comes down for stuff that's rlly important to me (then i'm gonna fight u). or u kno. i realize that no one knows me personally bc vulnerability is scary. after that point the persona isn't cool anymore--in fact, it gets more tiring by the day, but i can give it up. is it possible to combine the desire for authenticity with a hesitance to let go of the polish for fear of being Compromised? it ties into the judgment thing in that i'm p insecure about figuring out how i can relax around but i wish i was able to just. pick a thing to be good at already dang!!!

Sounds like you have a lot of Bird and Snake to your secondary. I'm not well equipped from this to guess if you have some kind of burned Lion secondary hidden underneath all this, but it's interesting that Bird and Snake are also the models you built up around your primary. I'm not sure if that says something or not. Maybe they felt familiar somehow.

Hugs, hope you feel less shitty soon!

- Paint

#sortinghatchats #burned gryffindor primary #shc burned models #shc burned houses #submissions #submission #paint speaks #q #shc primaries

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ase-trollplays · 4 years

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Chances

Trigger warnings: suicide, attempted suicide, suicide ideation

What if Karima died suddenly?

==> Florah: Make a decision

>> This wasn’t supposed to happen for hundreds of sweeps. There were so many things you wanted to do with her, and so many things you wanted her to see you accomplish. None of that matters anymore, though. She’s gone now, and with her death, so dies your reason to keep living. You’ve already buried her body and even planted a sapling on her grave.

>> Now the only thing left to take care of is you.

>> You stand atop your dresser, which you’ve moved to the middle of your respiteblock, and tug the rope to make sure it’s firmly attached to the ceiling. It doesn’t budge no matter how hard you pull. Good.

>> You place the noose around your neck, then look around your respiteblock for the final time. With closed eyes and a deep sigh, you take a step forward and allow your body to fall.

*** *** ***

Cacoph stood outside of Florah’s hive and knocked on the door. He’d received a text from him about an hour ago asking him to take care of Snelly since he and Karima were going traveling. It seemed like a simple enough favor. How high maintenance could a snail be? Plus, he was fairly sure tri-batdad wouldn’t try to eat it. He just wished Florah didn’t live so far away.

When there was no response, he knocked a few more times and waited. Nothing. With a bit of hesitation, he grabbed the doorknob and turned it. To his surprise, it wasn’t locked. He pushed the door open a little and peeked inside the hive. It didn’t look or sound like anyone was there. He wondered if perhaps they already left. It seemed odd to ask him over, then leave before he arrived.

He meekly stepped inside and closed the door behind him, then took out his huskphone to check his text messages to see if there’s something he missed.

ND: Hey Cac✿ph, can y✿u d✿ me a huge fav✿r?

ND: Karima and I are g✿ing away f✿r a while, and I need s✿me✿ne t✿ take care ✿f Snelly f✿r me while we’re g✿ne.

TF: Heck yeah, dude! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ It would be my pleasure!

TF: When do you need me to swing by and get her? (◠‿◠✿)

ND: As s✿✿n as p✿ssible? We’re actually leaving t✿night. I’m s✿rry it’s such sh✿rt n✿tice.

TF: Oh! (⊙△⊙✿)

TF: Sure thing! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) I’ll be there before you know it!

ND: Thanks, man. You’re a really great friend.

Cacoph sighed and walked further into the hive. Had he known they would already be gone by the time he got there, he would have asked where Snelly is. It felt weird enough just being in his friend’s hive by himself, but having to look into every room until he found her just didn’t sit right with him. He stepped back outside and sent Florah a text asking where to find the snail, but after fifteen minutes without a response, he went back inside. It looked like he was on his own.

After failing to find Snelly anywhere on the first floor, he made his way up the stairs to check the rooms on the second floor. The first door he tried led to the ablution chamber. Definitely not where Florah would keep a pet snail. Behind the second door was the linen closet. The third door was locked, so he assumed it was either Florah or Karima’s respiteblock.

He opened to fourth door, and he immediately wished he hadn’t. He stared in shock, then horror, as he processed what he was looking it. His legs gave out from under him and he fell to his knees, diluted yellow tears freely flowing from his eyes. His reason for coming over was violently catapulted to the back of his mind and all but forgotten for the time being.

Florah’s lifeless body hung from the ceiling in the middle of the room.

Cacoph stared at the troll that he called his friend, his emotions a furious cyclone of sadness, shock, and confusion. What drove him to this? Where was Karima? Why-- !? Why did this happen!?

He shakily pulled himself onto his feet and closed the door. ... What should he do now? Was there anyone he could call? Florah never talked about having other friends. He could probably look through the contacts in Florah’s huskphone, but that would mean going into his room, and he... He couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to go in there. He didn’t even want to look at the door now that he knew what was on the other side.

Fifteen minutes passed before Cacoph could force himself to move from his spot in front of Florah’s room. Florah’s last request was the he take care of his pet snail. He didn’t know what he could do about the situation he found himself in, but he could at least do that. He found Snelly in her enclosure inside a dark room with a bunch of unfamiliar plants. He picked up her tank, then promptly made his exit from the hive.

He had many awful, terrible nights in his life, but this night was the worst.

But what if it happened differently?

==> Florah: Make a decision

>> Now the only thing left to take care of is you.

>> You place the noose around your neck, then look around your respite block for the final time. With closed eyes and a deep sigh, you take a step forward and allow your body to fa--

knock knock knock

>> ... The sound of knocking at the front door snaps you out of your thoughts. You glance at your huskphone, which you tossed onto the floor after you finished texting Cacoph. That was only a couple of minutes ago. There’s no way he’s already here. So who could be--

knock knock knock knock

>> With a sigh, you remove the noose from your neck and climb down from the dresser.

>> You should probably get that.

*** *** ***

Cacoph excitedly bounced on his heels as he waited for Florah or Karima to answer the door. As luck would have it, he was already on his way toward Florah’s hive when he got his texts. He wanted to surprise him with an album from a jazz band he’d gotten into recently. He remembered that Florah was looking for new tunes, and he was positive this would be a hit.

When the door finally opened after what felt like forever, he enthusiastically began signing a greeting to him. However, his enthusiasm immediately dropped when he saw Florah’s appearance: deep umber eyes, streaks of dried tears on his face, and a completely miserable expression.

‘Oh my god! You look terrible! Are you okay?? Did something happen?! What’s wrong!?’ Cacoph frantically signed. Florah winced at his friend’s outburst.

“I... I’m fine. Just having a bad mental health night. You know how I am,” Florah answered. Cacoph didn’t look any less concerned.

‘Have you already talked to Karima?’ he asked. As soon as he signed her name. Florah could feel himself getting choked up as tears stung the corners of his eyes. He turned around to furiously wipe them away before his friend saw, but it was a wasted effort. Cacoph placed a hand on his shoulder, and that was all it took for him to completely break down. He collapsed to his knees as loud, agonized sobs tore their way out of him. Cacoph kneeled down to him and, unsure of what else to do, opened his arms to offer a hug. Florah was quick to accept the offer and all but threw himself into his arms and desperately clung to him as he bawled.

It took twenty minutes for Florah to cry himself out, and it was another ten minutes before he was ready to let go. Cacoph pulled a handkerchief from one of his sleeves and offered it to him to dry his eyes and wipe his face.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked.

“Karima’s dead, Cacoph.”

‘Holy shit. I’m so sorry.’

“... I don’t want to be alive anymore.”

Cacoph’s eyes widened at his statement, and he struggled for something to say. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Florah spoke again.

“She was everything to me. She saved my life. Without her, I never would have got my life back together. I don’t... I don’t think I have it in me to keep going without her.”

‘Is that why you asked me to take Snelly? Because you were going to kill yourself?’

Cacoph could only look at him with sadness and worry as Florah nodded in response. He wanted so desperately to comfort him, but he was at a complete loss. What do you say when your friend tells you he wants to die? The thought sent a chill down his spine. If he hadn’t happened to be in the area at the time Florah texted him... If he’d arrived a single minute, or even a few seconds later... He might have been too late to stop him.

He was lucky tonight, but what about tomorrow? It was only by coincidence that he reached him in time to stop him from doing something terrible, but if Florah truly didn’t want to be alive anymore, then what would stop him from trying again later? This whole situation was bad. What could be possibly say that would be enough to change his mind?

‘She wouldn’t want you to kill yourself. She would want you to stay alive,’ Cacoph reasoned. He hoped that would be enough to get through to him, but Florah’s empty expression didn’t budge. If anything, he now looked slightly more miserable.

‘Plus, if you die, then so will everything she loved. All her flowers and her houseplants and stuff will die if there’s no one to love them and take care of them like she did.’

That seemed to have made a dent, much to Cacoph’s relief. Maybe there was hope to convince him to keep going.

‘And someone needs to run her flower shop. You told me how proud of it she was, and how happy it made her. Isn’t that worth staying alive? To keep her dream going?’

“... I guess.” That was all Florah had to say in response. It wasn’t as much as Cacoph hoped for, but it was something to show he was getting through to him.

‘She may not be around anymore, but she’s still with you in the things you guys loved. As long as those things are here, then so is she.’

Florah remained silent, but his expression was a little softer now, so Cacoph considered that a win. For now, at least. He wasn’t sure what else to say on the subject, so he decided maybe changing it was a good idea. He reached into his sleeve and pulled out the jazz album.

‘I wanted to give this to you since you’re looking for new music to listen to. Want to go to my place and listen to it?’

Cacoph thought he saw the tiniest smile on Florah’s lips, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

“Y-... Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Let’s get outta here,” he said with a sigh and started to stand up. Cacoph stood up as well and gave Florah a tight hug before the two set off away from Karima’s hive.

But what if this happened instead?

==> Florah: Make a decision

>> Now the only thing left to take care of is you.

>> You place the noose around your neck, then look around your respite block for the final time. With closed eyes and a deep sigh, you take a step forwa--

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

“Hellooooo~! Karima, I’m here to claim you for the night!”

>> No, NO! What’s Maeron doing here?? She’s going to ruin everything! You didn’t even lock the front door because Cacoph is coming to get Snelly! Dammit! You have to get this over with fast before she lets herself in to look for Karima. You hastily step off the dresser.

*** *** ***

Maeron waited all of ten seconds before knocking again. “Karima, you know it’s rude to keep a goddess waiting~!”

She decided to pay her bestie a surprise visit and treat her to a night at her kismesis’s jazz club. When thirty more seconds passed without a response, she turned the doorknob to see if she was locked out. Upon finding it unlocked, she let herself in and looked around. It didn’t look or sound like anyone was hive, though she wasn’t going to leave without looking for her first.

“Damn, I knew I should have checked her flower shop first. She and Florah are probably there working,” Maeron muttered to herself as she searched. Having no luck on the first floor, she made her way up the stairs and went straight to Karima’s room.

“Karima, are you asleep in there?” Maeron asked as she knocked on the door. When she received no response, she groaned and looked over at the door to Florah’s room. She hated having to talk to him; he was such a passive-aggressive, smart-mouthed little shithead. She’d punch his head right off his shoulders if she could get away with it. With a sigh, she walked over to his door. If Karima wasn’t here, then he probably wasn’t either, but it was still worth it to check and make sure. She didn’t consider him worthy of enough courtesy to knock, so she grabbed the handle and opened the door.

“Flora-- Shit!!” she exclaimed as she saw him hanging from the ceiling, kicking and struggling as the noose around his neck strangled him. Immediately she ran into the room and, with one swift yank, ripped the rope from the ceiling and allowed his body to fall to the ground. As he coughed and wheezed for air, she grabbed him and frantically removed the noose.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!!?” Maeron shouted at him forcefully pulled him onto his feet. Florah glared at her before turning away, refusing to look her in the face. With a snarl, Maeron grabbed him by the jaw with one hand and wrenched his head around to force him to look at her. “Well!?”

“The fuck do you think I was doing!?” he snapped back and tried to slap her hand away. However, her grip on his face was strong and she refused to release him.

“How goddamn stupid are you?? I thought you were past this shit! What if Karima found you pulling that stunt, huh!! Do you have any idea how much that would destroy he--”

“Karima’s fucking dead!” Florah yelled. Maeron’s anger seemed to vanish almost immediately, and her grip on him relaxed enough that he was able to push her hand away. He glared daggers at her as tears formed in his eyes and his body stiffened. Maeron struggled to process what she’d just been told. How could Karima be dead? They just talked two nights ago. She was tempted to accuse him of lying, but considering what she walked in on and how serious he looked, it had to be true.

After about a minute and a half of incredibly tense silence, Florah was the first one to speak.

“Yeah, that fucking sucks, right? I know,” he said with venom dripping from every word. “But hey, at least now you don’t have to have anything to do with me anymore, right? I mean, you only put up with me because of her. Now that she’s gone, you never have to see or talk to me again. So, yeah, you can go now. She’s not here anymore.”

Maeron could feel herself start to get choked up and her eyes start to water. She felt her chest literally ache with sadness and mourning, but she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath to force her feelings down before speaking.

“No.”

Florah stared at her in annoyance and disbelief. He was barely fighting back sobs, but just as Maeron forced herself to push her emotions aside, so did he.

“What do you-- !? Didn’t you hear me?? We’re done! You don’t have to be here anymore, so leave,” he ordered with his fists balled at his sides. Maeron stood her ground and glared down at him, her arms crossed in defiance.

“I’m not going anywhere. The second I step out that door, you’re going to try again, and I refuse to have that on my conscience,” she answered. Florah stared at her in deep frustration, the tears running down his cheeks now tears of anger.

“So what!? Why do you care what I do? You hate me! You should be happy! I won’t be your problem or anyone else’s anymore!” he fired back. Maeron’s expression remained unchanged.

“If you kill yourself, then all the time, love, and care that Karima gave you will be for nothing,” she said calmly in contrast to Florah’s outbursts, which seemed to only make him more upset.

A pistol appeared in his hand and he aimed it directly at her chest, his finger resting on the trigger and ready to pull. Maeron’s eyes widened before her expression turned dark and she growled at him. He growled back.

“I’m not fucking asking. Get out, or I’ll kill us both,” he threatened through gritted teeth and flowing tears. Rather than do as he ordered, Maeron took a step closer. He took a step back, his hand starting to tremble. “What are you doing!? I said leave or I’ll kill you!”

“No, you won’t.” She took a step closer, and he a step back. “You know how I know?”

She stepped closer.

“Because you’re not a killer.”

Another step closer.

“You may hate me, but you could never kill me. You couldn’t kill anyone.”

Another step closer.

“As much as you don’t want to, you care about other people, even the ones you don’t like. You saw and even caused so much death when Allmah controlled you, and you’re nothing like her. You’re better than that. You could never be a killer like she wa--”

“Just shut up!!” Florah screamed at her. She stopped advancing on him as his whole body now trembled. “Fine. Don’t leave. I don’t need your permission to end things.”

Without another word, Florah turned the gun on himself and pressed it to his temple. Before he could pull the trigger, a loud shout filled his ears, and he could feel his mind being overridden. It only lasted for a second, but that was enough time for Maeron to get close enough to grab the gun from his hand and throw it across the room. She didn’t want to resort to using her chucklevoodoo on him, but her hand was forced.

“I told you before. I refuse to have your death on my conscience,” she said as he slumped to the ground in defeat and sobbed. Maeron sighed in relief and displeasure as she waited for him to cry himself out. It was fifteen minutes before he was composed enough to speak again. He looked at her with desperation.

“Why are you trying so hard to stop me? Please, I’m begging you. Just leave me alone and let me do this,” he pleaded. Maeron’s expression softened and she knelt down in front of him.

“I’ll admit, part of it is just to spite you, but the main reason I stopped you is because it’s what Karima would want me to do. I won’t be able to stop you every time; I have my own life to live, and I won’t spend it holding your hand and wrigglersitting you every night. But this time I could, so I did. If you want to shit all over her and ignore what she would want, fine. But for the time being, I’m not going to disappoint her.”

Maeron stood up and pulled him onto his feet.

“Come on, we’re going to Dr. Noru’s office for an emergency session. I’m sure when he hears you tried to kill yourself twice, he’ll make room in his schedule for you,” she said as she grabbed his hand and started walking toward the door. He didn’t put up much of a fight until they got downstairs.

“I can’t. I told a friend to come over to take Snelly,” he said.

“So call them and say you changed your mind. I assume they have no idea what you were planning.”

“No. I still want to see him before I go, though. Please?”

“... Fine, but once he leaves you’re going to see your therapist.”

“Okay. ... I’m not going to thank you, you know.”

“I know you won’t. Just because you’re sad doesn’t mean you’re not an asshole.”

#things to read #Florah Cronoa #Cacoph Octahv #Maeron Schiek #probably the longest thing I've ever written tbh #also just because it feels relevant #Here Comes A Thot #I spent three days on this please read it ;^;

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tenshibeth1 · 5 years

Text

Fic Writer Meme

Thanks for the tag, @chierafied ! <3

----------------------------------------

Author Name:

Here and a few other places my author name is Tenshibeth1, which was a username I'd created back in high school some...gosh, ten years ago now? Time flies! But, it was created in part by my group of friends then. I was in the goth group, but they always said I was the nicest and most innocent of the group, like an angel. My nickname in reality is Beth, short from Elizabeth, and I've always been big into Japan, anime, and manga and all, so Tenshi seemed a fitting choice to add onto my name. Tenshi means angel. The one stands for the fact that it was my first author username. Now, Reflection of a Broken Dream (RoaBD) came later in life, when I felt everything I am and was, was broken. It came after my divorce from an abusive and terrible man...he had me believing I was nothing. I could do nothing right, I was a pest to everyone, and my dreams? Get real. I could never make them come true. Writing has always been a balm for me...and even though I believed few would read or like my stuff, I did eventually begin posting stuff again. To my shock, people liked what I wrote...they wrote me such kind words and pleas for continuation. Everyone who liked and commented on the stories gave me hope again, and confidence in myself. So thank you to everyone who read and commented! I'm where I am now because of you all. ,^.^,

Fandoms You Write For:

SessKag and SessOC from Inuyasha, KuraKag and HieiKag from Yu Yu Hakusho and Inuyasha, KuraOC from Yu Yu Hakusho (although I'm not sure if I've posted any...), and, a long while back, I used to post ShinoHina from Naruto. I also wrote some KakaHina, GaaraHina, SasuHina, and ItaHina from Naruto...I don't know if I ever posted any...but I ship it.

Where You Post:

Mainly on here and on Dokuga. I once posted on Spark a long time ago...and I was posting on FFnet, but something went awry when I tried to get the app...and now I can no longer sign in to my account and no staff members will help me, so I'll probably make another account. I also have an AO3, which I need to update. ><

Most Popular Multichapter:

Here, it looks like the SessKag Alpha is in the lead with 104 hits. With Dokuga...holy crap, it's Cursed with over 12k reads! O.O On FFnet it's Overprotective, which is a HieiKag...and it looks like it's the favorite on AO3, too! Oh, wow. I need to go back and write on so many stories...T.T

Favorite Story:

Ahh...most of them hold a special place in my heart...but there are a few that are a little more...sentimental than others. Cursed, for example, would be one of the top ones. I began writing it when I was living with my ex-husband. It is one of the few reasons I stayed sane...and the original version of that fic was warped...just like my mind at the time. If anyone's curious, I'll tell that story later...but know that it will end well. Rising From the Ashes is going to be a good story if I can ever finish it. It's a bubbling of hope from the darkest recesses of depression...something I suffer and struggle with everyday and have to rise from. Very Merry Christmas With You is going to be a healing fic, Sesshoumaru helping Kagome heal from a trauma that happened to her as a child. They have the relationship I desire most. Same with Alpha, but it's a more recent trauma that reminds me much of my past marriage. The Unexpected, a ShinoHina, was a much earlier echo of this, with an abusive relationship in the making with her arranged betrothed in the Snow. And I just have a special place for Overprotective and All That is Meant To Be because...I do. They were works when I wasn't as confident as I am now, and I really loved and worked on the stories vigilantly outside of what I posted. I kept writing and re-writing to see which directions I wanted to go with them...I need to re-write them both with more detail and post them...

Story You Were Most Nervous to Post:

That's a tie between Arranged Marriage, a ShinoHina, and Cursed, a SessKag. Arranged Marriage was the first real fic I worked on that I posted after several years and the abuse I went through. The anxiety I suffered to post it was...unbelievable. I thought I might pass out. I expected people to boo me out of there since it isn't a very liked ship...but, happily, I found that wasn't the case. And Cursed... I was revamping it to be made public after realizing how messed up it was, and how messed up in the head I'd been... So, I was understandably nervous and trying to make it better. Real. Believable. And not the dark hole it once was...

How Do You Pick Titles:

Erm...I'm with Chiera, I pick whatever feels best. Mostly, I try to pick something short and sweet...and easy to remember.

Do You Outline:

Define outline. Haha. I do try to kind of figure out which events I want in the story and roughly figure out the ending...but I don't always do that. On the ones I have more of a feel of, I do. Ones I don't? I pretty much fly by the seat of my pants and go on the journey with my readers. Some, I still have no idea how they're going to end. We'll find out when we get there. XD

Complete Stories:

Ai yai yaiii...roughly eight. The Best Antiques will get a oneshot sequel or two, but...yeah. Not very impressive. I have a bunch of unfinished published works...and about seven hundred more on my computer... >.>;;

The list of completed fics:

FFnet

The Best Antiques

Things That Go 'Thump' In The Night

Butterfly

Waiting for You

Hinata's Favorite Insect

Dokuga

Written in the Stars

Now and Forever

Someone to Protect

In Progress:

I am currently working on The Pact, Alpha, and Cursed actively, with some work-ins on the other SessKags. I want to work on them all more, and get back into some of my KuraKag, HieiKag, and ShinoHina.

Coming Soon:

I just posted The Pact chapter 5! Dancing With Your Ghost, a SessKag one shot that likes to rip my heart out every time I write on it. I Found You, a SessKag one shot exploring alternate realities. Romancing, a SessKag series of Sesshoumaru trying to wordlessly woo Kagome. The Dark Guardian, a SessKag I hope to write for Halloween! An interesting take of Sesshoumaru as the deity of death that I started, like, a year ago and forgot about... And I'm working on a fic called The Child, an eventual KuraKag with a rough start. ...I'm also working on another KuraKag in little bits, it's currently unnamed and will revolve around Genkai's secret love child she didn't even tell Toguro about... Yes, I know I'm working on a lot at once. Because of my medicine change I have days where I struggle to focus on any one thing...so I write a little here and there. And some days I don't get to because work kills me sometimes and I have do things after work for work other days. -shrugs-

Prompts:

I love them and am open to them if anyone wants to suggest or send them. They might even help with what I'm writing. The Dark Guardian was created from a prompt. ^.^

("Unbeknownst to you, Death was watching you from the corner of the hospital room when you were being born. Fascinated by life, it imprinted on you. As the years went by, Death often saw you being bullied at school and couldn't do anything but watch; as taking the lives if your bullies would have been too much of a verdict. However, you have just been kidnapped and Death is pissed.")

Upcoming Story You are Most Excited For:

It's a tie between The Dark Guardian and Romancing! I'm excited to explore the role of Sesshoumaru as something loosely like Hades with Kagome as his Persephone...just in a very different way. (If you follow the telling of the story in which he does not rape her. The one I found, she could read the inscriptions and said it did not explicitly say he raped her, just whisked her to Hell.) But that isn't exactly the way the story is going, just that Kagome is his light in the all-consuming darkness. Romancing...is going to be sweet and funny, with a bit of drama added in. And frustration. Why does she not understand?! XD Poor Sesshy... If I could get my act together, I would work on The Youkai Games...something I've been working on, off and on, for the past ten years or so...

Five Authors:

@bearpluscat

@therebelalchemist

@dreaming-of-the-midnight-sun

And anyone else who wants to try! ^.^

#fic writer meme #pass it on #try it #kinda fun #you get to learn about people

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sargentcorn · 5 years

Note

Hello! I love your home sweet home series! Idk if u do requests or not so if u don't just ignore this :) but..How do u think Hosea and Dutch's first time was together?

First of all, thank you! I’m glad you like series. Second of all, apologies for getting this out so late. Knew what I wanted to say, but lacked the energy to answer it. As for requests, I’ve never had any dropped on my lap before, but I’m open to vandermatthews related ones for sure; others would be done at my discretion. So, with that said, here we go.

Dutch and Hosea’s first time making love(plus first kiss).

Naturally, they’ve been pining over each other for years, not aware that the other likes them back.

So, after Annabelle and Bessie, the dam finally breaks out on a job.

It’s a easy coach robbery job together, and when they’re escaping from the law, the two find a nice little tucked away cave out in a forest where the law surely won’t find them.

Hiding the horses where they can’t be easily seen nearby, Dutch and Hosea set up camp in this little cave to wait off the heat.

Hosea easily pretends he’s not glancing at Dutch, but Dutch is very obvious, while they unpack.

He’s staring at Hosea’s lips from time to time as he unpacks. Wants to know what they feel like.

So when everything’s unpacked and laid out, Dutch can’t help himself.

He pushes Hosea against the cave wall lips on the other man’s.

Hosea stills before eagerly returning the kiss while quickly taking charge.

Hands are wondering over each other’s clothes, and both are wondering why they didn’t do this sooner.

It’s not long before Dutch grows impatient and starts unbuckling Hosea’s even though he has no idea what he’s doing.

Well, beyond having the idea he wants Hosea, and his dick in his mouth.

A faint groan escapes Hosea’s lips the moments Dutch’s mouth is wrapped around his cock.

Dutch may not know how to suck dick, but he knows the way he likes it.

So, he tries what he likes, and it’s a good guess because Hosea is cursing and praising him softly.

That only makes him harder.

He could have stayed there forever sucking Hosea’s dick, but the older man pushes him off.

“Dutch…” “Yes?” “Holy shit, where’d you learn that?”

“From the way I liked mine sucked.” Dutch admits embarrassed looking away.

Hands bring his gaze back to Hosea’s face. “You’ve never… with another man?” “No, but I want to with you, ‘sea. All of you.”

Hosea sharply inhales, because holy shit, Dutch. Wants. Him.

With that in mind, Hosea pulls him into for another kiss while rubbing Dutch through his pants. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.” “I know you will.”

Hosea tells him to undress, he’s going to get gun oil from his horse.

Undressing himself, Dutch admits he feels far more nervous than the first with a girl, because it’s Hosea. His friend, his second-in-command, and the one he’s been pinning for awhile.

But that nervousness doesn’t last when Hosea comes back.

The other man is gentle, and praising, as he undresses.

Soon, Hosea is naked in all his glory standing before Dutch.

The two stare before lips lock, and hands wander again.

Eventually, Hosea guides Dutch to one of the bed rolls, makes him lie on his stomach so it’s easier for the both of them. Dutch can always lie on his back another time.

The first lubed finger has Dutch inhaling. It’s a strange feeling, but he finds he likes. The send is welcomed, and the third is begged for(which Dutch isn’t too proud to do, he wants Hosea badly that’s he’s not above begging.)

This is where they both find out they like Hosea on top already, Dutch loves the way Hosea praises him as he takes each finger, and Hosea loves the way he can turn Dutch into a begging mess within three fingers.

Hosea prepares Dutch for easily 5 minutes. He wants it feel so good for Dutch that’s there’s a second time guaranteed.

When Hosea finally slips the tip of his cock in, oh boy, Dutch makes the prettiest sound Hosea swears he’s ever come from another man. That thought is strengthened when Hosea fully enters him.

Hosea is a patient man despite how much he wants to fuck Dutch into the ground right there. He waits till Dutch gives the okay, presses kiss on his back and shoulders. Praises him.

“Ok-okay. I think I’m re-ready.” “You sure?” “Yes.”

The first thrust has Dutch cursing himself for not pursuing Hosea earlier. The second has him being glad regardless of how long it took. Hosea’s thoughts are about the same.

Nonetheless, Hosea is gentle, keeps praising Dutch for taking it so well, and how proud he is of him. Dutch absolutely loves the praise.

After some minutes pass, Dutch finally gathers enough courage to ask for Hosea to thrust harder.

“You sure?” “Yes, please ‘sea. I ne-need it ba-bad.”

Dutch’s whimpering and begging finally gets to Hosea who thrusts a tad bit harder. Dutch paws at the ground and thrusts against Hosea in response. It’s the best damn thing he’s ever done in his life.

Hosea never stops his praise even though he’s thrusting harder.

Occasionally, he press kisses to Dutch’s back, and a bite on the neck from time to time.

“Ha-harder, please ‘sea!” “As you wish, Dutch.”

Dutch feels like he’s seeing stars with each new thrust Hosea gives him. It’s here that both realise they both extremely enjoy Dutch on the bottom, and Hosea on top. Something about Dutch begging for Hosea’s cock has Hosea aroused beyond all belief that he can even get this from the man under him, and Dutch finds that of all people he’s been with, having Hosea fucking him into the ground while praising him is the best damn thing he’s ever felt. More so than Hosea’s fingers inside him.

That train of thought has Dutch orgasiming suddenly, Hosea’s name dropping from his lips in one long moan.

And when Dutch tightens around Hosea, Hosea finds himself cuming as well, and in his need to grab something, he pulls on Dutch’s curls making the other man almost wail in pleasure. This is where they find out Dutch likes his curls being pulled.

It’s a mess of limbs as both collapse, Hosea still inside. Neither wants to move just yet.

But slowly Hosea pulls out earning a soft groan from Dutch.

“Holy shit, Hosea. That was…” Dutch is unable to form words. There’s a glow on his face as he stares at Hosea lovingly. Hosea rubs his cheek with a thumb making Dutch lean into the touch.

“Yeah. Yeah.” He pulls Dutch into another kiss, which leads to two, three more before Hosea stops to get up and clean Dutch off.

When he’s finished, they curl into each other trading more kisses even though both are sated.

“Hosea?” “Yeah?” “We should do that again, and when we do, I, uh, want you to stay on… top. I… enjoyed it.” Hosea chuckles, and kisses him again. “I will, because I certainly enjoyed hearing you beg.”

Dutch rolls his eyes, but he can’t stop the smile on his face.

“Oh, and I noticed someone likes their hair being pulled, can’t quite do that if I’m on the bottom.” There’s a fierce blush from Dutch, but he’d be lying if he didn’t admit he also liked it. Hosea pulls him into another kiss.

*Dusts off hands.* This was the first thing that came to time when you asked, so it’s how I imagine it went down. Hope you enjoyed.

#red dead redemption 2 #Dutch Van Der Linde #hosea matthews #Vandermatthews

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borisbubbles · 6 years

Text

EUROVISION 2018 #5 & #4

05. SWITZERLAND ZiBBZ - “Stones” 32nd place

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~*Wild Jokah On A Gole Froam*~

Yanking away the top NQ slot in this year’s ranking is, of course, everybody’s favourite Sibling alliance, ZiBZZ!!

As you know, I looooooooove mental health awareness songs, and I particularly love those with approaches that work (*cough* NOT “Goodbye” *cough*). While most of these songs are doused in motherly, cloddlesome tones, “Stones” doesn’t beat around the bush and argues that one must confront their fears HEAD-ON.

To transliterate the (ridic, amusing) lyrics into Common English:

“People have always been shitbags and have treated others like crap for aeons and there’s nothing I can do about it because people won’t fucking change.. SO fucking WHAT? Why would let those assholes affect my present and future the same way they’ve influenced my past? Fuck that noise. It’s time to let the inner demons rest, grow as a person AND help others get out of the deep end while doing so.”.

Holy fuck what an epic Truth BOMB, I can relate to all of that scalding hot tea. The best way to get around depression, anger and frustration *is* to 1) remove you from the toxic environment 2) find kindred spirits and support each other 3) find the courage to leave your past behind and build a future for yourself. Mental health is a BATTLEFIELD that HITS YOU with its best shots (did I just ref Pat Benatar twice? 🤭) while you’re struggling and “Stones” acklowedges this reality so hard. About fucking time someone lit the flares of ferocity to stand up against BULLYING and HATE. ALL HAIL COCO the ZiBB, FIRST OF HER NAME, THE UNDUN, MOTHER OF FLARES, KHALEESI OF THE DOWNTRODDEN, NON-THROWER OF STONES, BREAKER OF TABOOS, QUEEN OF THE HURT, TORMENTED AND BROWBEATEN.

Ain’t the only one who don’t wanna throw stooooooooooones

But of course, message alone isn’t enough to get such a high ranking, but fortunately ZiBBZ delivered musically as well. “Stones” has the perfect type of melody for Eurovision: catchy, repetitive and accessible, but never boring or tiresome because the arrangement was spot.fucking.on. The horns and tuba’s give the music so much gravitas, the backing AHEMs are excellent and CoCo’s five-packs-a-day type of gravelly voice adds so much realness to the song. "Stones” as a whole is jarring and complex and succeeds at elliciting the emotional response it aims for. This is my favourite song of the 42, by no small margin.

And then there’s the staging, which... I have mixed feelings about, not gonnal ie. It saddens me that even at this high a rank I must again resort to critique. I mean, the ACT was great. That motherfuckin’ flare is one of the few goosebump moments I got from this year, Coco is Minerva in a hipster body, Stee is a lovable goof, but... you have this amazing, dynamic song that is capable BLOWING EVERYONE AWAY and it kinda... doesn’t?

I would say that “Stones” was mostly hampered by its camerawork, which was mostly AWFUL. Which idiot [Hans Pancake 🙄] is responsible for framing such a powerful, uptempo song with slow, drawn-out shots?

I mean, shots such as this one:

(why didn’t they just focus on Stee??? or the audience?)

and that one:

(You can clearly see Coco throwing away a drumstick at the start of the preformance... Why the faraway shots?? Why no close-ups when she’s drumming happening???? NO ONE CARED ABOUT SANNA’S LIGHT CAGE SO WHY WOULD THEY START CARING NOW??? (seriously, fuck you Hans Culpepper))

This is the reason why “Stones” failed to ensnare the audience’s attention. Wrong people with the right to stage and ZiBBZ can’t do anything about it. I chose to not take it into account when I decided on their final ranking, but it’s sooooo frustrating to see Switzerland FINALLY strike the motherload and fall flat because of some moronic cinematographic decisions. Now watch Switz pick something mediocre and be overrated by the Basics/NQ once again (lol I say this without having listened to the Swiss songs, but can you blame me?). Oh well, ZiBBZ have since moved on to better things -

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- and so should we :). Still praying they pull a Poli in five years or so. THE WORLD NEEDS IT

04. SLOVENIA Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!” 22nd place

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Damn’ this is such a tough decision. Cutting entries loose at this point really hurts y’all.

So as you know, I really, REALLY fucking love Lea Sirk and even said that, in the unlikely event that she qualified, she’d WIN the ranking. However, while I am probably obliged by contract to grant her the first place, I can honestly say that... I like my top three more? Lea could have easily won this ranking, had my opinions on Elina, DoReDos and Ieva stayed the same; but they didn’t (they went up obvi), so here we are. The above paragraph is just a disclaimer to explain why Slovenia don’t rank higher than they do, because holy fuck this "Hvala, ne!” was awesoooooooooome. Anti-establishmentarian trap-pop that was a shock qualifier and made a flashy gimmick work TWICE <3 There’s a reason why the Good Gays Fanbase (do I include myself in that? hmmm 🤔) have nicknamed it “Hvala Slay!”.

But first, (-- Julie Chen-Moonves) let’s discuss the PHENOMENON that is Lea Sirk. My love for her predates this contest by several years, from the time when I only knew her as the botty cyborg sidekick to the heiress of the Ravenclaw Empire herself, Tinkara Kovac.

“KEN U BEE-LIEF ET???”

who happens to be *my* fave of Outstanding Eurovision Year 2014 (Yes, over Conchita, go cry) and is a contender for fave entry of the decade. The Summer of 2014 was a fantastic experience, partly thanks to Lea and I will forever cherish her for that reason. So when this beautiful dubstep fae was selected to rep Slovenia, now sporting a lilac killer braid, a trashbag jumpsuit and a cabal of slut-dropping dance devas of destruction... like *instantly* fanning my proverbial clit right there. It only got better during Lea’s pre-show content, proving her not only cool chick onstage, but off the stage as well. Having a teenage girl crush on Waylon <3 (Confessing this IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE WHICH INCLUDED BOTH WAYLON AND HER HUSBAND lmao bless <3). Impersonating Salvador on some Slovene version of the Soundmix Show <3 There’s no way Lea couldn’t deliver in Lisbon.

And “deliver” is underselling what Lea did, holy fucking hell that live was EVERYTHING. It’s hard to even name what the brightest shining star of their performance was, since Slovenia brought an entire fucking galaxy of them. I’d say the best thing was probably the choreography, which managed to be spellbinding, professional and hilarious all at once. Lea and her dancers-in-crime put on an amazing, electrifying show, aided by dynamic camerawork and lighting (Take note, Hans Pancake 🙄).

My personal fave thing about “Hvala ne!” however was that it QUALIFIED BY A COMFORTABLE MARGIN AND WOULD HAVE UNDER ANY POINTS SYSTEM <345871 I love a deserving shock qualifier (see: Albania), but when it happens to a preshow fave of mine that I considered all but doomed (and a contender for last in the semi). . . There are no superlatives in my glossary that can describe the state of elation I felt when Lea was announced as a finalist. Netta might as well cede her trophy because the Eurogaes were the actual winners of this year 💗🧡💛💚💙💜 “Hvala, ne!” more like “HVALA motherfucking SLAYS HATERS” amirite???

Granted “Hvala, ne!” was the same in Lisbon as during the preshow, with only two marked exceptions. One was Lea had added a chorus in shabby Portuguese (”OBRIGADA NAO NAO!!!” <3) which was hilar, and the other was... the break!

Granted the semi break was kinda *blah* to me. “Zomg the music dies riiiiiiight before the bridge how coincidental”. Sure, Jan. Either way, I found it moderately funny, mostly because of the random extras that were clearly being paid by production to oversell it <3

But the best thing was that it WORKED and brought Lea to the finale where she performed a SECOND break and this one was downright epic. The audience actually sang along with her <3 <3 <3 <3 Two different instances of the same gimmick and making it work BOTH times <3 When will YOUR faves???

I suppose that, at the end of the day, “Hvala, ne!” was an experimental song that you either love or hate. Why anyone would ever hate this radiant nymph is beyond me, but whatever. My ranking, my rules, ya shallow fools. I *loved* this bizarre mix of K-Pop and Hip-Hop, sung in Slovene and Portuguese, (which is the most unique combination of languages ever featured in a Eurovision entry, I’m sure <3), with badass self-referential lyrics that SLAM DOWN musical conformity in a year that was all about rewarding it. In other words PRECISELY WHAT THIS CONTEST NEEDED. You know, there are plenty of countries out there that have never scored a top five in Eurovision and probably never will until they find their monster runaway winner (Lordi, Salvador). I *hope* the next one is from Slovenia. Raiven performing a song by Maraaya, with Lea and BQL as the back-up singers. Come on y’all, let’s make Eurovision Great Again. Hvala, slay, slay, slay, slay

RANKING SO FAR

04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)

05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)

06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)

07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)

08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)

09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)

10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)

11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)

#eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2018 #Switzerland #ZiBBZ #Stones #Slovenia #Lea Sirk #Hvala Ne!

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aimmyarrowshigh · 6 years

Text

Making A Galaxy Far Far Away: An Aesthetic Photoset Tutorial

Requested by @geleixi (and varying amounts of time ago by @rockett-to-the-purple-moon, @thenameisgreed, @pizzaplanethq, and probably others who sent nice messages that I went “Oh, what a nice message this means so much I LOVE IT SO MUCH I’M TOO ANXIOUS TO ANSWER IT WRONG I’ll just do it later” and then promptly NEVER answered it.)

Brainstorming & Photo Collection

Picking a Color Palette

Choosing Images from Collection

Coloring

Textures & Effects

First off: I am not even going to remotely pretend like graphic design is a Thing I Am Better At Than Anyone Else, because that would be patently false and ridiculous, but I also get a fair number of Asks about making photosets/aesthetic posts, so here we are. I’m planning to do a separate one, maybe, for how I do the Cartoon Girls All Grown Up and Nancy Drew Dream Games series, because the “brainstorming and photo collection” part is so different that it inherently affects the rest of the process.

BUT I also feel like I don’t see a ton of tutorials that go through the brainstorming/finding images part of making aesthetics, and I tend to think of my Graphics Style(TM) as “DEEPLY Uninterested in washed-out faux sepiatone grimdark Tumblr Coloring?? + Not Good Enough At Masks To Do Negative Space Well,” which might be some people’s level of ~graphics design passion(TM)~ too, so. That’s the ride for which this ticket has been bought.

Brainstorming & Photo Collection

Obviously, the specifics of this are totally different for every aesthetic, but all of the GFFA/swworlds start from the same seed: Star Wars Aesthetic.

Star Wars itself has a very particular Lookque, imo: it’s not quite retrofuture, it’s not quite dirtpunk, it’s not quite scifi, even. There are the insanely sumptuous (and hella culturally appropriative) queens of Naboo and the ramshackle toppled AT-AT where Rey lives on Jakku and the not-even-subtle-at-all-jfc Nazi inspiration of the Empire and First Order and the straight-up millennial Tumblr witch Goffik look of the Dathomir Witches and Zabrak siths and the blue, blue water of Scarif. There “isn’t” a unifying aesthetic through Star Wars, and yet, as Gareth Edwards said, there’s a LOOK and FEEL to Star Wars: if you go a little too far to the left or right, it isn’t Star Wars anymore.*

*That said, this tutorial talks about Crait, which was invented by Rilo Jon, who went both too far left and too far right but mostly... too far-right. BA DUM BUM! Anyway.

So part of what makes Star Wars Look Like Star Wars, to me, is that it ISN’T ever Too Scifi. There’s a realism in all of Star Wars’ disparate planets -- their looks, anyway; like, talking about how Crait, in this case, makes NO ecological sense as a planet AT ALL is another post entirely. (IT MAKES NO SENSE.) It’s different from, like, Doctor Who, which I think revels in its “we can make these aliens and planets look like WHATEVER” more? Star Wars tends to be very like... “we want to use practical sets and effects.” Even for planets that only appear thus far in Clone Wars and Rebels? So it’s definitely part of the intention of SW’s Aesthetic.

ALL OF THAT TO SAY, my first step with each planet is to figure out the best way to represent it using as much real-world photography as I can and how best to channel the ~spirit of Star Wars~ in the graphic. Sometimes I fail miserably. CURSE YOU, NAR SHADAA. But most of the time it helps provide a Framework for the rest of the brainstorming and photo collection.

SO. FOR CRAIT. (For another example/totally different look and process, I wrote up a little about Haruun Kal on its post here.)

Crait has the definite benefit of appearing in one of the movies, so the first part of photo collection was to screencap TLJ. I took the caps using the 1080p digital release at a 20-frame frequency, so even once I deleted the aps that weren’t of Crait (moving the Canto Bight frames into a folder for Cantonica, of course!), I had like... 1500 images just from TLJ to start the brainstorming and collection with.

First, I trimmed down those ~1500 screencaps to 168 caps that were distinct enough from one another to give me a sense of “what happens” in the scene and, more than that, “What Crait Looks Like.” Then, because there’s additional canon material of Crait besides TLJ, I saved the unlettered images of “Star Wars: The Storms of Crait” from comic penciller Mike Mayhew’s blog @mikemayhew -- if those hadn’t been available, which they’re usually not for planets that appear in the comics (THANX MIKE MAYHEW!!!), I would have taken and cropped panels from the comic at both 100% and screen-fit/60% sizing that had utility for a graphic about planet scenery and not character.

THEN, I looked at Wookieepedia and MSW. Crait was based on the Salar de Uyuni salt flats in Bolivia, so I Google image-searched that. There weren’t actually very many images of the Salar de Uyuni salt flats that I super loved, so I ended up saving images of other salt flats as well, particularly the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah.

THEN there was the issue of the red minerals, which were entirely fictional and not part of any real-world salt flat. BUT, there IS real red sand... so I saved some images of red-sand dunes (mostly Mui Ne in Vietnam). I also went through my Star Wars Stock Folder to find images of crystal caves and mines that I’d either saved for other planets in the past, but didn’t end up using, OR just saved because there are so fucking many crystal-based planets in SW.

Each of my big graphics series has its own Stock Folder for unorganized images that just strike the right Vibe~ and might be useful someday, in addition to every planet (or cartoon girl, or US state for the Nancy Drews, etc) having its own folder for specific/organized image collection.

My Star Wars Stock Folder:

So there were already a lot of crystals, star destroyers, blasters, and bunkers that were actually in snow but whatever it was white and crystalline, to work with. I added some workable Crait-like images from the stock folder to Crait’s collection, too.

AND THEN, finally, I LOVE the vulptices, so I searched for (and found!) some of the concept art and 3D modeling images from ILM, and I put those in the folder, as well.

I also saved this, hoping I’d be able to make it work because it’s SO CUTE, but I couldn’t, but here LOOK HOW CUTE:

And then, lest I stay in the image-collection rabbithole forever, I said, “OK, that’s enough.” I ended up starting to actually MAKE the Crait graphic from a collection of 272 images:

Picking a Color Palette

Obviously, the dominant colors of Crait are red and white, so the aesthetic had to be based in red and white. My first instinct was to make a duotone aesthetic using only red, white, and black/grayscale. Something like this:

Which... I don’t hate, or even dislike. It’s definitely more in line with popular Tumblr aesthetic, uh, aesthetics. But I usually don’t like landing on that kind of coloring because it ALWAYS, ALWAYS whitewashes people of color (and jeez, it even whitewashes white people -- look at the model in the fourth frame down on the left, or Luke in the bottom-left.) The “vibrance -100 + Selective Color Red>Red + 100″ always ends up doing the above example to, in this case, Poe: turning him into a licorice man.

So then trying to correct THAT either whitewashes the FUCK out of him/people in general:

(Toning down the red)

Or introducing other colors back into the graphic as a whole:

(Upped yellow and cyan.)

So I nixed that coloring before I even started. (These examples were made after the fact purely to serve as examples.)

I went back to the drawing board, AKA the Crait image folder.

But looking at the collected images -- especially the screencaps and the panels from the Storms of Crait comic -- I was struck by how much Crait also incorporates yellow and blue. (Note that I really, really wanted to try to include Trusk Berinato and Bail Organa... but we’ll talk through why that didn’t work out.) I LOVE @droo216‘s bright, almost jewel-tone edits which I 100% know I don’t have either the patience or skill to make, but I liked the idea of trying to make Crait’s aesthetics in a primary colors + black/white scheme.

Which I actually really like! (Again, made post-facto as an example.) But again, red vibrance DiD tHe tHiNG!!! to Poe and ESPECIALLY to Finn and Bail.

So a high-vibrance look emphasizing bright colors was a no-go. Besides, going back to the source material: high-vibrance and high-energy are the opposite of what the planet of Crait is about. It’s a dying husk of a planet, being killed slowly by its own ecology as the salt in its crust dries out everything beneath it, sucking up water until everything either evolves into living crystal-dogs or goes extinct (thank u Rilo for not including dune-worms, this is the one thing you did right). Crait wouldn’t be vibrant.

But... aha! It’s also distinctly layered. I’ve done three-panel swworlds aesthetics before, so I decided to do that for Crait, too: first a mostly-white graphic like the salt crust, then white+red+yellows in the middle, and finally a dark layer of almost entirely red like the mineral mines.

Choosing Images from Collection

With the color palette and “feel” decided (dying at the surface, then growing richer and redder and angrier as the photoset moved downwards), I was able to choose images.

NEKKID PHOTOSETS SANS ANY EDITING! XXX! But for reference to see both cropping and for reference on choosing.

TOP IMAGE, MOSTLY WHITE:

L-R, TOP-BOTTOM:

I saved this image from my dash at some point and have been tossing it into planets’ folders every time there’s a white-based color scheme. It almost got used for Ilum, but at the last second wasn’t. I felt like it fit the coalescence of Rey’s Force strength here, and also the kind of “last wisps” of Luke Skywalker, well.

“Lifting rocks.”

I’m actually still not 100% whether I should have landed on a vulptex here, but dammit they were one of the only good parts of TLJ. This vulpie baby is on the salt surface, looking out at the blinding sun, so she seemed like a good fit compared to the other caps of vulptices -- the ones loping on the canyon surface at the end were all very motion-blurry.

Carrie in that gorgeous coat in homage to Harrison in Blade Runner makes me weepy, and those were some of the most beautiful shots in the movie. This one had a good balance of white and black, so it could be placed around any level “busyness” in the surrounding photos. Especially since I suckkkk at negative space.

I saved this image to the Crait folder like the day it was announced as a planet in the upcoming Episode VIII and given its first peek. I love it!

Hi, salt flats, and also Star Wars spaceships. I actually had a lot of trouble with the level of green in this image, but the ~essence of Star Wars is PEW PEW SPACE BATTLE, so.

This is an ice sculpture in real life! It reminds me of the vulptices and is cool as hell.

The Millennium Falcon! I toyed with different caps that showed it in actual battle, but the blue would have been hardest to work with in this photoset compared to the others below. Plus, now I can save a bunch of Falcon-in-flight pictures for use on planets that only appear in the novels or comics.

NECESSARY, ICONIC, PERFECT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT HAPPENED ON CRAIT.

Fine, this is a snowy mountain and not a salt flat, but I liked the striations in color and gentle variations in grayscale.

This was the palest/least Bright Blue sky of all of the Falcon screencaps from Crait.

I tried a few screencaps of Crait from TLJ, but I landed on using the full-panel image of Crait from Storms of Crait. It has the cleanest definition of the “planet from space” options we have of Crait.

This is a promo image, not a screencap. It’s a much crisper view of the ski-speeders. I love the vivid color difference.

The blue-and-yellow additions to the color scheme didn’t work out, but I did still want to include Storms of Crait. This shot had a little more blue in it than I would have liked, but it has Leia in a ski-speeder back before the salt caused them to rust out, too!

Remember when it seemed like the Crait battle’s new AT-ATs would be super cool and like, do more than stand there menacingly behind Kyle? Me, too.

POE! DAMERON! HAS! NEVER! DONE! ANYTHING! WRONG! IN! HIS! LIFE!

KYLE! HAS! ONLY! EVER! DONE! WRONG! IN! HIS! LIFE!

I tried out like five different tiny-frame-difference screencaps of the ski-speeders kicking up red minerals, and I decided that this one, with a clearly defined spray of red surrounded by white and bluish sky, suited the placement here best: there’s red in the panel to its left as the main color, but minimal red in the above- and below panels.

I wanted to include actual Connix, but she’s wearing yellow and only ever shows up surrounded in brownish-black darkness, so here, have one of my standard Fashion Rebel Officer Stand-Ins instead -- the red and white obviously played a part in picking this shot over the rest of the options from the photoshoot.

I LOVE this slightly mystical shot of a Rebel pilot slash astronaut on a rain-slicked salt flat. How perfect?!

As we get down to the bottom of this middle panel, I wanted to include more destruction and more presence of yellow and orange. This image has a good balance of “negative space” in the sky and salt flat, and then the explosion of Nodin Chavri’s ski-speeder (I think?) ties in well to...

Finn and Rose, post-collision. I wanted to include Rose, and the almost JJ Abrams-esque white starburst in the center of this cap is a good balance to the spray of red around a ski-speeder two panels above.

Luke on Crait in the Rebel Alliance...

And Luke on Crait in the Resistance.

This was a kind of “????” moment of characterization -- and general direction -- in TLJ, but Luke surrounded by red as an old man would fall right below Luke as a young man, on his first mission after the Battle of Yavin, when the three graphics were aligned.

I wanted to use the straight-up concept art of the vulptex, but the black around it was TOO black, if that makes sense? So I layered it over a darkened cap of the vulptex who leads Poe to Rey and freedom. This is one of the very rare shots that I use an edited base image.

Han and Chewie! I had to include Han and Chewie. The unlettered panels from Storms of Crait that show the mineral mines are stunning; I highly recommend heading over to Mike Mayhew’s page and taking a look. The detailing of the crystals is something I wish I could have captured better at this scale.

This is one of the red-sand dunes I saved! Crait doesn’t have any living vegetation, but the drama of the black, stormy sky and the red sand drew me in here.

Some CGI crystal caves... I saved these ages ago for use on Ilum or Dantooine, I think? (Same with what will be #11 below.) I don’t love using CGI, but I think the crags on these crystal growths suited the images from canon!Crait.

A screencap of the TIEs chasing the Falcon through the mines. This was honestly one of the most visually stunning parts of TLJ, and it’s so split-second that most people missed it AND most of the screencaps have a lot of motion-blur. I’m really pleased that this one came out so crisp, and I knew I had to use it as an “anchor image.”

Finn, full-on, in red. I’m realizing belatedly as I write up this tutorial that I showed Poe face-on and Finn face-on, but I stupidly chose to show Rey only from a distance. I AM A FOOL! A FOOL!

Aren’t these resin crystals amazing? The full-size image actually shows them surrounded by snow, by the tree-stump they’re on wouldn’t fit Crait, so I cropped in closer on this image than I did for most of the Crait set.

Another shot of the Falcon in the mines. I like the way the framing of white sunlight here echoes...

Leia’s face, a bright spot in the dark, watching out over the salt flat. :(

(See #5 above!)

And again, the homage of Carrie’s coat looking like Harrison in Blade Runner made me sad, so I THREW IN ANOTHER HAN AND CHEWIE. The mining equipment here shows more detail than in the screencaps above, too.

Coloring

Like I mentioned waaaay above, in the intro: I never use set colorings for photosets. (Except Halloween Spookstravaganza, because jeez so many of those screencaps are like 240p VHS rips and it’s just not worth putting in Effort(TM).)

That said, I think one thing that I do differently than I see in most tutorials is this first step:

I ALWAYS start Aesthetic photosets by arranging the images and then *BRINGING THE CONTRAST ALL THE WAY DOWN.* This is especially helpful on photosets that include a mix of real photography, CGI screencaps or art, and/or comics panels, but it’s also just useful in general for photosets that use images from a wide variety of places.

The reason I do this is because it helps to “smooth out” the differences in light source, color balance, etc., that are part of the raw base images. For this set, it also helps to define the variations in color between very similar shades: the craters on Crait, the wisps of clouds, etc.

In some cases, I’ll do two layers of Contrast -50. For Crait, I did a later of Contrast -50 and then a layer of Contrast -15.

Then, I Select All > Copy Merged > [Turn Off Contrast Layer View] > Paste As New Layer.

Now, the “smoothed” version is placed as a layer above the raw layer. From there, it depends on the look of the photoset what I do -- sometimes, I leave it as-is, but I almost always lower the opacity on the “smoothed” layer until the level of contrast and balance looks consistent across the whole photoset. For Crait, I ended up with the “smoothed” layer set to Lighten 100%.

Selective Color time. There are two ways I usually start this: either one color at a time -- especially for Aesthetics like Pheryon that will essentially be monochromatic -- or, in this case, I looked at the balance of the three main colors that would carry through the entire Aesthetic.

REDS

Cyan -100 (This brightens the vivacity of the red.) Magenta +100 Yellow +100 Black +35

BLACKS

Cyan 0 Magenta 0 Yellow 0 Black +100

WHITES

Cyan 0 Magenta 0 Yellow 0 Black +100 -- This is NOT my usual setting for adjusting white, and since white is one of the main colors in the Crait Aesthetic, it might seem counterintuitive to make the white darker instead of brighter. However, this will help to make next step of color adjustments “take” on the white/whitish surfaces a lot more easily, and it will also help to balance out the bluish sky areas with the white background areas. (I’m not sure this explanation makes sense? But it’s what I did.)

Then, I Select All > Copy Merged > [Turn Off Selective Color Layer View] > Paste As New Layer > Either COLOR or HUE 100%.

“Hue” is more effective for smaller, more incremental color adjustments -- for BIG SWEEPING COLOR CHANGES, “Color” tends to work better. But it totally depends on the photoset! Try both, and see which you like better.

I feel like this is kind of the step where my process of making aesthetics stops being any different from most tutorials -- but this has been HUGELY helpful for me, a non-graphic designer-person, to be able to create a kind of “base image” that has very similar color values, brightness/contrast, and vibrance.

Sometimes this step helps to create really extreme color differences, such as in the Raydonia Aesthetic, and other times, I use it to just adjust one or two color-values so that there’s more consistency in, say, shades of yellow or shades of green, as in the Takodana Aesthetic, for which I just wanted to create a more cohesive palette of green in particular... it started out with a zillion greens, and I wanted to bring it all together into one “aesthetic.”

I think this step, and the reasoning behind it, are why SO MANY PSDs for aesthetics rely on a layer of either gray or sepiatone-ish set to Darken or Multiply as one of their key layers. But I’m just not about the grimdark life, and if I’m making an AESTHETIC OF A THING, I want the aesthetic POST to actually HAVE THAT THING’S AESTHETICS, you know?! I want to use the colors of the thing that I’m saying is meant to evoke the visuals of the thing!

Anyway. Now you have your BASE IMAGE. Often I’ll Merge All here, just for my own sanity.

Then I go in and make any other other adjustments on a “coloring” level that I think will help with the “vibe” I’m going for! For this Crait set, I definitely needed to bring the brightness up so that the white and red popped. However, bringing up the brightness also swallowed a lot of the detail in the white surfaces -- especially the planetary surface of Crait in that bottom-right space -- so I decreased the contrast again.

Brightness +70 Contrast -50

And then I go in for the macro-level adjustments of color using any mix of Selective Color, Hue/Saturation, and Color Balance that works. For Crait, that was more Selective Color, because since I had decided on my color palette, and it sadly did not include blue, I needed to start by taking out as much of the blue, cyan, and green that I could.

And I’m ngl, I told myself the WHOLE FREAKING TIME I was making this photoset that I needed NOT TO DELETE THE PSD RIGHT AWAY LIKE I USUALLY DO so that I could write up all the settings for this step.

But it was a reflex. And I deleted the PSD right away like I always do.

So suffice to say, I just futzed with the levels one at a time until the RED was brought up a little, the YELLOW was brought up a lot, and everything else was brought down and/or hue-adjusted to sliiiide into being yellow, red, or black/white.

Another Select All > Copy Merged > [Turn Off Selective Color Layer View] > Paste As New Layer > Either COLOR or HUE 100%. I think I also DUPLICATED this layer and set it to SOFT LIGHT 50% and then duplicated it again to SCREEN 50%.

I could have left it like this, but I am me and I am nothing if not Extra All The Time, so I opened up my folder of light textures (and other textures) and decided to Go To Town.

Textures & Effects

For your Aesthetic-Making Purposes, here are the three I used on the Crait set:

The first two were set to Screen 100%, and the bottom one was set to Burn 15%. I layered them in this order.

It still looked incomplete, so I decided to use this POWDR Element from Creative Market, which is actually like 5400x5400 pixels and which I’m not going to share here because I paid for it and don’t want CM to revoke my access or whatever, but it looks like this, only HUGE:

I also set this element to Burn 15% and moved it around the image until it looked the way I wanted it.

Textures and effects aren’t In on Tumblr anymore, but I really like using them -- they add, not to be cheesier than usual, texture to an aesthetic post, and I think that they can also help less-skilled graphic-makers like me to hide any myriad of imperfections in coloring, sharpening, whatever. I’m an especially big fan of this noise element (set as a pattern on Screen), so I’m going to share it here even though I didn’t use it on the Crait set:

Most of my textures have been saved over the last literally twenty years since I started making fannish graphics and photosets, largely from defunct old LiveJournals, but there also used to some great sources for them on Tumblr and still are live sources for them on DeviantArt. Just search around and you’ll find what you want! :)

In conclusion, I think it’s infinitely more fun NOT to rely on premade PSDs or standardized Settings, but I also recognize and fully respect that if I made graphics differently, I would probably get easily 5-10x more notes on each post than I do. But I make graphics the way that’s fun for me, and I just try to learn a little something from every set I make. The GFFA Planets/swworlds in particular have been something that I started, originally, because I wanted to catch up and learn about Star Wars planets that I felt like I was missing because I don’t have any fannish history with the Old EU, and I wanted to learn about them in a way that helped me feel like I was engaging with the SW source material AND making the enormity of the canon more accessible to other newish or casualish fans, like I was two years ago when I started this aesthetic series. I like making aesthetics that are genuinely inspired by the aesthetic of the thing that I’m calling it an aesthetic of, so even when it ends up just looking like rainbow barf (CURSE YOU, NAR SHADDAA!!!) I’m having fun.

THAT SAID, here’s how the time breakdown for the Crait set works out:

TOTAL TIME INCLUDING IMAGE COLLECTION AND SCREENCAPPING: Est. 20 hours.

COLORING AND ACTUAL GRAPHIC-MAKING PART: 7 hours.

WRITING UP THIS TUTORIAL: 5 hours.

So, um, if you are so inclined, here is my Ko-Fi link. I post at least two graphic sets every week, sometimes up to 25 (usually during October).

I hope this was helpful at all! I had a good time thinking about my process in-depth like this, and I would love to get tagged in any aesthetics you might try making using a similar method! :)

#**#*g #*swworlds #|franchise| star wars #*star #25 #**fav

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persephone-victorious · 6 years

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Alphabet Questions

Thank you for tagging me, @a-partofthenarrative

(a)ge: 30----ish

(b)irthplace: Fla

©urrent time: 9:00 p.m

(d)rink you had last: Rum and Diet Coke. Told myself there’d be no more of that in an effort to lose weight but it’s been That Kind Of Day.

(e)asiest person to talk to: My cat

(f)avourite song: Right now? It’s the goddamn Papageno/Papagena song. I have listened to it every day, multiple times a day for over a month. What is wrong with me??? Please help! (Usually I like punk or new wave or post punk though...)

(g)rosset memory: I was working at Sears on Christmas Eve, so a cursed place at a cursed time. This couple, with no regard for their child, let their sick daughter (5 or 6?) puke up and down the aisles. I didn’t see because I was trapped at the register. As I was ringing them up, she puked all over my register. It was such a famous incident at the store, employees talked about it forever.

(h)ogwarts house: Slytherin, baby!!! 🐍 🐍 🐍

(i)n love: I’ve already waited too long / and all my hope is gone

(j)ealous of people: who are chill all the time.

(k)illed someone: In my mind. Repeatedly.

(l)ove at first sight or walk by again: Stay home and cry.

(m)iddle name: The name of a famous person who perished in the Holocaust.

(n)umber of siblings: Zero!

(o)ne wish: Just one? I guess like...a stupid amount of money (legally gotten) so that I can take care of my family and do fun things.

(p)erson you called last: My hair salon. I just text.

(q)uestion you’re asked most: What did you eat? (Spanish mom)

®easons to smile: It’s quiet in the house, my cat is being adorable

(s)ong you last sang: "Everything Counts” by Depeche Mode

(t)ime you woke up: 7 am

(u)nderwear color: Pretty pretty pink 🎀

(v)acation destination: London, Paris, Iceland, back to Japan...Too many choices!

(w)orst habits: Being down on myself and excessive anxiety

(x)-rays: Just for my teeths!

(y)our favourite foods: Pizza (obvs classic), wedding cake (so expensive it has to be great), tebasaki, Diet Coke (addicted)

(z)odiac sign: Aries with Leo rising! This girl is on fiyaaaaahhhh! ♈️ ♌️ 🔥 🔥 🔥

Gosh, who should I tag??? I’ll try @deducecanoe and @nowprisoner-24601 and @glassprism and @eriks-stale-breadstick and @timebird84 and I will be bold and tag @asklefantome 😈

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hirakdesherrani · 7 years

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Double standards re: Annika and Gauri

Now this is not a bashing post, (or even if it is who cares, its my blog and I can write whatever I want) or yet another comparison post. I love both of these characters, despite the shitty and mostly inconsistent writing (especially in case of Gauri). Maybe I love Gauri a bit more, but that’s mainly ‘cos Shrenu is a superior performer.

This is just to let out a year of frustration at the writers and the petty fandom BS when it comes to these two, so that I don’t carry this venom with me into the next year.

My grudge is more againt the fandom than the writers because the writers did give a chance to Gauri to shine in some places, but again the petty fandom BS. At least the Shivika fandom is not divided into Shivaay v/s Annika; unfortunately for Gauri, its the Omkara fandom which bashes her the most because they just can’t accept that Om is not perfect, and undeserving of anyone, let alone Gauri.

Anyways, so launching into it straightaway, lets start with the writers. The writers have in a major way been much more meherbaan on Annika than Gauri. Annika was explored for almost 140 episodes before Shivaay forcibly married her. What about Gauri? She was married off to Omkara in the 11th episode, and more or less her story starts from there. In fact, to be very honest the audience got to see only two episodes of Gauri’s life before Kali Thakur wreaks her life. The audience never got to see Gauri’s life at all. The only things audience got to know about Gauri is that she is adopted, she loves her mother and she is a devotee of Shankarji. And these three things Gauri shares with probably 80 million people in India. What makes up her character and who she is was not explored at all. Its like Gauri’s story started when she married Omkara. And she was immediately judged as a doormat and regressive and other assorted nonsense (which I will deal with later in the post).

On the other hand, Annika’s independence was thrust in our faces for almost 150 episodes. The multitude of qualities which make Annika amazing were explored over a period of 5 months. Gauri was never afforded that opportunity in the first place. Annika is ‘khuddar’ and made her way in life without the advantage of naam, khoon and khaandaan. This was the main draw and USP of Annika’s character. Well, Gauri ne kaunsa naam, khoon, khaandaan ka advantage uthaaya hai?!? She is equally self-made and independent in life. But the writers did not spend more than two episodes exploring this.

Another thing which writers highlighted over and over, was how Annika took care of Sahil and dueled with her nasty Buaaji on a daily basis. Episodes on episodes have been used on highlighting that how despite being an orphan, Annika took the responsibility of a young Sahil. On the other hand, Gauri has been passed off as someone with a happy childhood. Yeah I imagine her childhood would have been very happy, with her chaacha and chaachi plotting on how much money they could earn when they sold her off. And if someone argues that Gauri had the presence of at least an adoptive mother, toh please, its more likely that Gauri brought her mother up than her mother raising her. Maaaa is probably the most annoying character in DBO’s universe, and let me just say that Sahil is probably one of the most sensible and perceptive character in IBverse, and Annika was lucky to have his support, unlike Gauri who was crippled by the existence of Maaaa and who filled Gauri’s head with nonsense about marriage and duties of wife.

And now my greatest grudge against writers. Annika is the favorite of several people because she solves all her problems on her own. We have seen a gradual development of Annika’s character, where writers have spend time exploring why Annika is cynical about God, and why she always blames her ‘2Rs kismat’ for her troubles. Well, news flash, Gauri also defeats all evil on her own, and her life has been hella more scary than Annika’s. Gauri has been criticized strongly for her belief in god. Not just by IF/Twitter fandom (who are usually pathetic and crazy) but also by Tumblr fandom. Tumblr biggies initially dismissed Gauri for her ‘holier-than-though’ attitude, and parroting dialogues on faith and belief.

But here I beg to differ. Gauri’s relationship with her Shankarji is perhaps the purest bond in the whole of IB/DBO universe. Gauri does not pray to Shakarji because its a social obligation or habit bred into her. Shankarji is like Gauri’s godfather. Since, Maaaa was mostly a useless creature, its to Shankarji that Gauri turns to in times of distress, and Shankarji looks after her. Shankarji has always protected her. If Gauri believes in Shankarji, then Shankarji has also responded in kind and looked after her. Yes, Shankarji messed up majorly when he chose Omkara for her, but khair, even God is not above making mistakes. Shankarji could have chosen someone wayyyy better for his chiraiyaa, but maybe Gauri made some Draupadi-esque blunder in her previous life (I hope you guys know the story, if not ask in comments, and I’ll reply), so she got stuck with Omkara. I’ll forever hate the writers for not exploring the Gauri’s dynamics and backstory with Shankarji. In my headcanon, some major incident must have happened when Gauri was young, and Gauri must have prayed to God and Shankarji must have got her out of trouble. Since then Gauri and Shankarji formed an unbreakable bond, which is why Gauri has this unshakeable faith in Shankarji. The writers never explored the reason behind Gauri’s faith and positivity and optimism, allowing the audience and fandoms to be hoodwinked into believing that Gauri was the typical Tulsi-Parvati type of character. I think I’ll be sour about this fact even after the show ends.

Coming to the next fact which annoys me. Now here I can’t blame the writers really. Its the fandom and their elitist notions that irk me. Annika is widely loved for her dictionary and mannerisms. In fact, to be honest michmichi has become part of my dictionary as well. But why is Gauri judged for the way she talks? Just because Annika is from Bombay/Mumbai so she is cool, whereas Gauri hailing from the North Indian belt (UP) is a victim of regionalist bias. Forget the trashy Twitter/IF fandom or the so-called ‘Om Deewaanis’ who suffer from a Pinky complex and believe that Gauri is not good enough for their trash son, but even sensible Tumblr blogs initially bashed Gauri for her linguistic traits. I mean, if you are a South Indian who does not understand half the words Gauri speaks, then is that the character’s fault or your own judgy ass for stereotyping her? (just an instance I came across). The funny thing is that now the same Tumblr blogs have come around to liking Gauri, and now blame others for being classist and elitist. The U-turns on opinions I’ve seen in this show, honestly.

Connecting to my old point about Gauri’s equation with Shankarji, is this other issue where both the writers and the fandom are at fault. The writers couldn’t spend more than two episodes on giving Gauri a proper backstory, but they spent over two months on her Pati parmeshvar nonsense. There were so many other facets to her character which could and should have been highlighted properly: her positivity, her optimism, humor, courage, quick wit, sharp brains. Yes, the writers did highlight those, but with a daily dose of PP jaap which ensured that audience would overlook her better qualities. And jo kasar writers ne chhod di thi, woh fandom ne puri kar di. It literally took an episode for the fandom to typecast her as a doormat. Gauri wan’t devoted to Omkara because he “married” her. Duh uh. Gauri saw Shankarji as her godfather, and in her mind Shankarji sent Omkara to save her. The fact that Omkara shares his name with Shankarji confirmed her belief further. In Gauri’s eyes, Omkara is her guardian angel. So, she easily put him on a pedestal. The fact is that Gauri is devoted to him not because he is her husband, she is devoted to him because she believes that it is her fate, if her God chose Omkara for her, then who is she to deny his choice, and the duties, the ‘patnidharm’ that comes along with it. I believe that if Gauri had married any other guy, under ordinary circumstances then the PP jaap would not be there because she would not have seen him as her savior.

Another reason why the PP jaap was at its height during the Chulbul phase was because up until then Gauri just saw his good side. In her mind, Omkara was a good guy who valued his servants also, he was humble, down-to-earth, sorta socialist person, who loved his mother, but just suffered from some anger management issues. The fact that Omkara befriended a servant confirmed her belief that Omkara is some modern day socialist hero. But post-the Chulbul reveal in Bareilly where Om left Gauri to die, thats when she came to face the ugly truth of Omkara being a one-eyed, judgmental, hypocritical asshole. In my opinion, thats the reason why Gauri’s PP jaap toned down when she returned to Oberoi mansion. She still kept him on a pedestal but now it was more of an obligation than her own wish. Which is why she kept questioning his hypocrisy whenever given the chance, and pointing out his bullshit mental issues. This is also the reason why she did not waste a moment in leaving the mansion, once she guaranteed that Om is safe (in the DBO finale scene).

But did the fandom understand all this? Nope. For them Gauri was the regressive doormat, while Annika was the progressive modern bahu. Well, didn’t Annika stick to Shivaay after the forced marriage? Yes, she was emotionally abused into it by Dadi, but the fans were so willing to forgive Annika for staying with Shivaay, toh phir Gauri ne kya dosh kiya hai? Annika literally forgives Shivaay the next day for the Daksh misunderstanding where she could have almost died thanks to Shivaay’s judgmental ass. But Gauri is a greater villain for forgiving Omkara for leaving her to die in Bareilly track 2? Kyun bhai??

Also, lets not forget that Annika had made it a business to save Shivaay from Tia’s scam even before she got married to him. Like girl, do you go to the Oberoi mansion to do your job or spy on Tia? And for whom? The guy who called you road trash, threw you out of his house multiple times, put you in prison, and made abusive physical contact many times before? But the fandom forgets all this or calls it Annika’s generosity. But Gauri is bashed for her divinely ordained obsession with Omkara.

If Gauri were really the doormat then she would have tried to impose herself on Omkara, but she never did. If Gauri were really the regressive doormat then she would not have confronted and questioned Omkara multiple times for asking what is her place in his life and what is her right to stay in the Oberoi house. I won’t say that Annika didn’t question Shivaay, she did, but she never demanded answers. In fact, I was under the impression that Annika would leave after Tia exposure but she made no move to do that. Unlike Gauri who once the job was done, kept on questioning Omkara, until she gave up on him completely and just waited for Shivika to get married so that she could leave the house. How are the two characters so widely different that Annika is progressive while Gauri is regressive in the eyes of the fandom?

That the writers never gave the same opportunity to Gauri’s character to be explored is something I’ve already mentioned. But the writers didn’t stop at that. The multiple personality transplants they have given to Gauri and flipped her character on the tava for the plot’s convenience are a greater sin. The chief example of this is the bullshit English track which was just introduced for the sake of showing what an amazing brother Shivaay is and how amazing Annika is that she did not change herself for Shivaay. I mean Shivika are amazing, but is it necessary to butcher Gauri’s character for that? Gauri, who has been proudly proclaiming that she is paachvi paas, who almost picked up a fight with Omkara because she thought he was about to comment on her dressing style and ask her to change it, and who most importantly said that love is like Meera, where one should not impose oneself on another; would learn English all of a sudden because she wants to be ‘laayak’ for Om?? Like really?? This is such a major character blooper, only introduced to make Shivika look like the goals couple. Matlab what should I say about Shivika then, who need every other character in the IBverse to sing their praises to prove how ‘takkar’ ki their jodi is. LOL I’ll rather prefer Rikara over them then, at least they don’t need Dadi to remind the audience everyday that Shivika are true ishqbaaz.

Of course, the petty fandom exploited this writing blooper to the fullest to say how Annika is self-confident while Gauri is an insecure mess. Well didn’t Annika lie and sacrifice her relationship with Shivaay because of Pinky’s dhamki? She didn’t have 1% confidence in their relationship to tell the truth of Pinky’ threats. Wasn’t Annika too defeated by her insecurity about naam, khoon, khaandaan that to protect Shivaay’s fake pride she sacrificed her love? Because she felt that Shivaay needs his naam,khoon, khaandaan more than her, despite the whole journey they had made as a couple over an year. Gauri, by those standards did not know Omkara that well, and neither were they in love at the point, for her to not be affected by her insecurities. But Gauri’s insecurities make her a doormat while Annika’s insecurities make her a self-sacrificing devi? Theek hai ji!

Several people get irritated that why is Rikara fandom so upset with Gauri shipping Shivika or playing matchmaker for them or part of the Obahus, etc. Well, they don’t get it. The DBO fandom has seen Gauri as the centre of everything, where she has ruled in her story. To see Gauri play second fiddle to Anika or Shivika is what irks us. We are not mad that Gauri is seen shipping Shivika; we are mad because thats all she’s been reduced to. When the Rikara fandom says that it wants badass Gauri, we don’t mean we want her to be stabbing villains or crushing cars. We want her to have her own story and be at the centre of her story. The break up scene is I think the most badass scene of Gauri, because she fully annihilates Omkara’s skewed perception of truth and walks out of their one-sided equation.

Finally the only instance where writers have favored Gauri over Annika (till now). Unlike Annika, Gauri has always been able to keep the physical and romantic aspect of her relationship separate. The only consideration for Gauri in a physical equation is consent. Gauri never steps back from participating in consensual physical contact. Woh hamaari phooti kismat that Omkara is forever either drugged or faking it or the latent passive-aggressive nature of their relationship, which has effectively ensured that Rikara fandom never gets to enjoy a tharki scene.

But what were the writers thinking when they showed a 27-year old, grownass woman, brought up in Mumbai, who btw watched B-grade movies with her brother, LITERALLY running away from the man she loves on the thought of consummation? Like what were they smoking? I get it that they want to show shyness on part of the heroine, but to actually make her run away like that? The whole scene where Annika wears the silly night dress on top of her kurta and escapes from the room is in the list of the top five cringey scenes I’ve seen on Ishqbaaz. What fandom thought as funny and comic and cute, I found that unbelievable and moreover, why do writers write such sequences which make their heroes looks like desperate horny men?

Annika fleeing her room is funny, but Gauri being lost for a moment in that horrendous jal jal ke dhuyaan sequence makes her desperate? The kind of comments I read on IF that time were unbelievable. Since when did feeling desire make one a desperate, clingy woman? FYI Gauri did push Om away because he was not in his senses. The most ridiculous reaction has to be of certain ‘Om deewaanis’ (I’m sorry I just can’t stop myself from LOLing at this group), who wrote that Omkara is so attractive that Gauri just couldn’t resist him, like themselves. Somebody knock some sense into these teenage girls that Kunal and Omkara are two different creatures. The number of facepalm moments I had reading their comments that day! Thank God! the writers toned down that aspect of Annika, because “yeh aap kya kar rahe hai Shivaay” was getting on my nerves.

While Annika got so much appreciation for finally being bold, let me just say that my girl Gauri already did it. I hated the inspiration scene, but I have to praise Gauri for unbelievable confidence she has in herself to follow Bade Bhaiyaa’s suggestion, and use her beauty as the one thing that can help remove Omkara’s artist block. Gauri is confidence goals. The fact that Gauri is in touch with her sensual side is perhaps the greatest reason why I prefer Gauri over Annika.

To me, both my girls are amazing, and deserve much better the Obros. They also deserve much better than the writers shitty, inconsistent tracks and pathetic fandom bullshit.

Honestly, for me the best possible conclusion of IB would be AniRiVya leaving the Oberois after giving them a piece of their mind about the maltreatment they suffered at their hands (Soumya, smart girl, pehli hi Australia chali gayi). Oh and Svetlana burning down the whole mansion with the Oberois in it. Maybe in distant future Svetty and Gauri can hook up, ‘cos honestly I’ve been on the SvetRi ship even before I thought of giving Rikara a chance (Om is just too stupid for Gauri).

P.S. I mentioned above that Shrenu is a superior performer. I have two reasons for this. IB was my first Surbhi C. show while DBO was my first Shrenu show. Why I praise Shrenu more is because Gauri is a difficult character to play. While Surbhi has a lot in common with Annika’s bindaas attitude, Shrenu has nothing in common with Gauri. Gauri and Shrenu are too totally different personas, therefore, in my opinion Shrenu has to put in greater effort to play Gauri than Surbhi has to put in playing Annika. Secondly, Surbhi got a whole lot more material and 50 times greater screenspace to prove her mettle as compared to Shrenu, and yet Shrenu managed to impress me in the second episode itself while it took almost a month for me to warm up to Surbhi’s acting skills.

#Annika #Gauri Kumari Sharma #Surbhi Chandna #Shrenu Parikh #Dil Boley Oberoi #Ishqbaaz #Ishqbaaaz #fandom nonsense #writing flaws #my stuff

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kunfayakun91 · 7 years

Text

What is love?

We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime — Each One for a Specific Reason.

It’s been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime. Yet, it’s also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason.

Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It’s the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairy tales we read as children. This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.

Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.

It’s a love that looks right.

The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation. We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before. Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this story-line, because it’s the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.

With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.

It’s the love that we wished was right.

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it. This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are. We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core. It isn’t what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by. But still it shatters our preconceived notions and shows us that love doesn’t have to be how we thought in order to be true.

This is the love that keeps knocking on our door regardless of how long it takes us to answer.

It’s the love that just feels right.

Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is. Possibly we need a whole lifetime to learn each lesson, or maybe, if we’re lucky, it only takes a few years. Perhaps it’s not about if we are ever ready for love, but if love is ready for us.

And then there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath. Those faded and worn pictures of our grandparents who seemed just as in love as they walked hand-in-hand at age 80 as they did in their wedding picture—the kind that leaves us wondering if we really know how to love at all.

Someone once told me they are the lucky ones, and perhaps they are. But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are also the lucky ones. They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love. But there’s not; it’s just a matter of if their partner loves in the same way they do or not.

Just because it has never worked out before doesn’t mean that it won’t work out now. What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having—or we can make the choice to believe in the third love. The one that feels like home without any rationale; the love that isn’t like a storm—but rather the quiet peace of the night after.

And maybe there’s something special about our first love, and something heart-breaking-ly unique about our second…but there’s also just something pretty amazing about our third.

The one we never see coming. The one that actually lasts. The one that shows us why it never worked out before.

And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love. Some people will spend the whole life to find the last person although.

- Source: Internet

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Recently I found “someone”. The very weird one that are so different compared to any of other girls I knew before. I do not know why but this “someOne” is just make me feel like I have found my missing piece since then. I once thought that I will never find someone that make me think of the fUture until I found this “someone”. There must be bunch of reasons that make me feel that way but I just cannot list that out. I just know it. I just know that this is the first time I start to think of building up a future with “someone”, allow me to think of a home with beautiful kids or make me feel 100% focused on my career. This is the first time that life seems to be little easier for me since everything seems to be well fit naturally to each others. It has been long since I can sleep well wIthout waking up half way at night. It has been forever since I last watch a cartoon till end. I also never thought I can keep a habit of drinking something for health. I am just simply listening tO her like I am her little boy. :)

Anyway, I do not know by how but I miss you Very much right now, I miss you little more every single day. There is nothing else I could say but I just simply miss you, ML. In French, people normally do not say “I miss you”. Instead, they say “tu me manques”, which means, “You are missing frOm me” and I really love that.

I will wait. I will wait for the day I gEt to kiss your sweet lips. I will wait for the day our distance get closer and we will come together. I wilL wait for you to grow up to become a fine lady and then marry me, and together we build our own homes with beautiful kids. I will wait patiently because I know it will be well worth every second.

And... she told me I am her unique treasure and she will alwaYs be my side through gOod and bad times no matter what happens. I know I am so much in love with her righT now, dear my third.

What if I tell you that “I LOVE YOU” now, what will you reply to me? The answer lies within.

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rolcomictranscriptions · 7 years

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Night Witch 3 Pages 16 to 20

Page 16

First Panel:

Varvara and Peter are walking away from the church.

Varvara: I need t check something on my own.

Peter: That wasn’t part of the agreement.

Varvara: You now, I could have escaped Holloway any time I wanted. That I don’t should tell you something.

Second Panel:

Focus tightens on Peter and Varvara’s heads and shoulders.

Peter: That we still have something you want.

Varvara: Don’t worry. I’ll meet you at the Folly nice and early.

Peter: I can’t go back to the Folly. They’ll be watching it.

Third Panel:

A shot of the outside of the Folly doors.

Varvara: You’re leaving it unguarded? Aren’t you worried that somebody might try to break in?

Fourth Panel:

In the Folly entrance way Molly waits with two knives ready.

Peter: God, I hope not.

Fifth Panel:

Close up on Molly’s smiling face.

Peter: The mess would be horrible.

Page 17

First Panel:

Back to Peter and Varvara’s head and shoulders this time in profile.

Peter: And we have surveillance on all the nominals.

Varvara: You’re watching them - they’re watching you.

Peter: Welcome to the cold war historical re-enactment society.

Second Panel:

Looking over the ASBO at Peter and Varvara with the church in the background.

Varvara: You were what? Three years old when the wall came down.

Peter: Yeah, but... I’ve seen both versions of ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’

Third Panel:

Varvara turns and walks away from Peter.

Varvara: I’ll call you in the morning.

Fourth Panel:

Peter’s hand holding a phone with a recording device on it.

From the phone: Varvara Sidorovna. Бавно не вибелись (Bavno ne vibelis')

Fifth Panel:

Peter is on the phone while Varvara is walking away from him.

Narrator: And I’ve seen the ‘IPCRESS file’ about a million times. Dad really love that John Barry score especially the cimbalom solo.

Peter: This is Peter Grant - I have some translation work for you.

Page 18

First Panel:

A London street in an area that’s still lived in by normal people. It is dark and raining.

Lesley, narrating: You know what Peter’s mistake is? He thinks there’s a line. Between good and evil, order and chaos.

Second Panel:

Lesley wearing her white mask siting in a car with a drink with a straw.

Lesley, narrating: The side of the force and the light. Between good coppers and career criminals.

Third Panel:

Lesley getting out of the car and pulling up the hood of a stripped blue and white hoodie.

Lesley, narrating: There is a line. But not there.

Fourth Panel:

Lesley is following Varvara down the street.

Lesley, narrating: The line is between us and them.

Fifth Panel:

In the foreground is Varvara, frowning and dry under her umbrella. Behind her is Lesley in a her hoodie.

Lesley, narrating: Between those that make their own choices. And those that don’t.

Page 19

First Panel:

Varvara is opening a door with chipped paint.

Second Panel:

Vavara is climbing the stairs behind the door lit by a single bare bulb hanging from the ceiling.

Third Panel:

Varvara is pulling a floor board u in a room with mouldy walls and a single wooden table as the only visible furniture.

Varvara: I should have known he’d know about this place.

Fourth Panel:

Varvara is in the foreground holding a green box. Lesley is stood in the doorway.

Varvara: What does he want?

Fifth Panel:

Varvara sets the box on the table and Lesley comes in to the room.

Lesley: He’s got an offer for you.

Varvara: Not interested.

Page 20

First Panel:

Varvara has rips the paper the box.

Lesley: He says he can help you disappear - get away from the Russians forever.

Varvara: What does he want in return?

Second Panel:

Varvara is still opening the box.

Lesley: He just wants you to stay out of it.

Varvara: Whatever ‘it’ is. Do you know what ‘it’ is?

Third Panel:

Focus tightens on Lesley.

Varvara: Didn’t think so. Not interested.

Fourth Panel:

Unwrapped on the table are a passport and a black object.

Varvara: You’ve but your faith in the wrong person.

Lesley: Perhaps I’m not as easily impressed as you.

Fifth Panel:

Varvara pockets the contents of the package.

Varvara: Suit yourself.

Lesley: You know - if Nightingale is so shit-hot... Why hasn’t her escaped on his own?

#Rivers of London #Night Witch #Night Witch 3 #Peter Grant #Varvara Sidorovna Tamonina #Lesley May

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sakyou · 7 years

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365 Days with Vampire Tokuten CD: Mukami Azusa (Translation)

Request from Ghostbunnies. You’re always so sweet I hope you like this adorable bit of Azusa fluff ♥ c:

Apologies for any mistakes in advance, I still don’t have much confidence in my audio translations (/)u(\)

(Translation under the cut - Do not use/repost without permission)

(0:00)

Eve, I found you.

The reason i’m here? That’s because i’m also taking elective classes, I chose art.

Elective classes are for all years, in other words just for this class Eve and I are classmates

(0:45)

Thank you Eve, I am also really happy. Today seems to be drawing people. I want to, draw Eve. Ne, can’t I?

(1:11)

You’re going to draw me? No, i’m not against it. I’m really happy. Then, we have to start at once ne, I wonder if there’s a good spot

(1:35)

You’re right, the corner of the classroom huh. It seems like we would be able to get a lot of drawings done over there

(1:50)

It’s nothing. Lets go, Eve. Come, give me your hand

*walks*

(2:08)

*laughs*

It really is a nice spot, here. If it’s here then no one can disturb the us. It’ll just be the two of us ne

(2:29)

Eve, *kiss* *kiss* i’ve wanted to kiss you like this forever.

(2:48)

*kiss* *kiss* It’s fine, everyone is sketching focusing on their canvases, they won’t look so even if we’re like this they won’t notice, ne? *kiss*

(3:18)

Why are you resisting? Even if there are people around us I don’t mind though. But, if it’s what you want then i’ll stop because I want to be with Eve forever

(3:52)

I won’t do anything that you dislike. No, because for myself I don’t want to be hated by you more than anything

(4:13)

Ah, that’s right. We should also start drawing soon. To start with I have to set up the easel for the canvas.

(4:37)

Eve, wait here for a sec. I can’t seem to get this tripod open. It’s alright, I can do it on my own. Eve just stay there and watch. *crash* Ah, Eve are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?

(5:20)

Sorry, to think I would hurt you, it’s my fault for not paying attention. You’ll set the easels up?

(5:37)

Thank you, Eve. You are always so amazing ne. I can’t do a thing, i’m useless. I didn’t want to be a bother to you and yet...

(6:05)

Wait, Eve. Your finger is bleeding. This cut could it be from when I made the ease fall over?

(6:23)

It’s not alright. I understand how painful this cut is. You don’t have to brave it’s fine. We have to treat it right away *lick*

(6:55)

It’s no good, even if you resist I won’t stop. *lick* let me see your cut. If something were to happen to Eve then I think there’ll be a big misunderstanding.

That’s why, this blood, and this scratch I have to lick it (clean). *lick*

(7:41)

But, this cut...is incredibly beautiful. Not to mention your blood is also incredibly delicious. Sorry Eve. I can’t resists after all *bite* Nnn *lick* Nnn Haaa

Just a little me have a little *drinks*

(8:34)

So sweet...Eve’s blood. Ne, give me more *drinks* Haaa just your finger alone is not enough. Eve, give it to me, like this your neck i’ll-

(9:14 )

Ah. I....I...what have I done. You said you didn’t want to and yet I drank your blood against your will...Sorry, i’m so sorry, Eve. Please don’t hate me.

(9:55)

Why...are you holding my hand? I...I did something horrible, I forced you...when you didn’t want to. Could you forgive me like this?

(10:18)

Thank you Eve. You are always kind. I, when I think about how I can take a class together with you i’m so happy.

(10:39)

Sorry, Eve. Truthfully I want to be with you always, even at school. It’s no good, but because of that I hurt you. I’m sorry, I have to focus on class properly. Yeah, your right lets start on our sketches, Eve. Look at me as much as you like.

(11:40)

*sketching*

Rather than sketching I want to look at you more.

Your eyes, skin, the shape of your lips. So I won’t forget, even when you’re not by my side. For as long as possible. Eve take a closer look at me too.

(12:25)

If it’s like this then you’ll know me all the way down to my eyelashes.

I will engrave my everything into Eve. *laughs* Our eyes met ne. I’m reflected in the pupils of your eyes.

I’m sure your cute face is also reflected in the pupils of my eyes too right?

(13:09)

What’s wrong Eve? You’ve stopped sketching.

Ah, to be spoiled by you is unusual ne. But, you can’t. If I were to touch Eve i’ll want you more and more. If that happens then i’ll end up troubling you like earlier. That’s why, so that we don’t have to be separated-

(14:15)

Why....why are you embracing me? Are you fine with it even if that’s the case, Eve? Even though you disliked it that much.

(14:36)

I thought I was the only one who was lonely.

But, I was wrong ne. Eve also wanted to be with me, we felt the same way. That makes me incredibly happy

From now on lets be together forever, I love you, Eve. *kiss*

#diabolik lovers #mukami azusa #Drama CD translation #aarutranslations #i've proofed this but it's almost 4am so i may have missed something OTL #also please don't ask me for cd links/downloads/etc (/)u(\)

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