#i hope this works for you! really with an url like that how could i resist
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hey this had been playing on my mind so i was wondering if i could request a eren x fem reader. so what do you think about a scenario where eren is tutoring the girl and she is sitting on his lap while they study but she accidentally keeps shifting around and he gets hard and then things progress from there …
anonnie. you're killing me. tutor eren = my dream man
bjhTHIS IS AAHHH' THIS IS AAHHHH
okay lemme stop losing my mind n here you go....
content warnings: unprotected sex(WRAP IT BEFORE U TAP IT!!!), degradation, praise, choking, creampie.
word count: 6.2k
edit: so this actually turned into a whole fic ummmm my bad. i heard tutor eren and got a little carried away.....
if anyone asked you, chemistry was the thing you hated most in this world. frankly, in your opinion, it was unnecessary and it made no sense! no matter how much you studied, the material seemed like another language to you.
inevitably, and much to your dismay, you were forced to get a tutor. you had never struggled so much in a subject before, so this was a first to you.
you needed a tutoring session as soon as possible, hoping to boost your grade in the class. when you had gotten the notification on your school email that you were assigned a tutor, you quickly opened it.
to: y/n5411@edu
from: chemistrydepartment@edu
Thank you for contacting us about enrolling with a tutor. This email is meant to notify you of your assigned tutor and provide you with their contact information. If you have any questions or are unable to view any contents of this email, please email us back or contact this number 913-470-8999. If you have any trouble getting in contact with your tutor, please also refer to the contact information just stated. Thank you!
URL to tutor information
you quickly opened the url, navigating the chemistry department website. once you logged in, your eyes widened when you read the name.
Tutor: Eren Jaeger
Contact Information: Phone - 913-875-9022
Email - erenjaeger4113@edu
this was just your luck. of course your tutor was the TA that you couldn't take your eyes off of when you were in class.
eren was a TA for your class section, so you saw him every monday, wednesday, and friday. for some reason, those were always the days you decided to ditch the sweatpants and put on light makeup.
eren was....hard not to notice. with his height and sea-green eyes, you couldn't help but glance over at him about 100 times throughout each class.
maybe that's why you were failing chemistry.
if he was your tutor, how were you meant to focus? you were convinced the universe was playing some sort of sick joke on you. either way, you had no choice but to play with the cards you were dealt. your next exam was at the end of this week, and there was no way they'd assign you a new tutor before then.
also, what reason were you meant to give them? you couldn't exactly send the chemistry department an email saying you had the hots for the tutor they assigned you, so you needed a new one.
you decided you could be civil enough to control yourself, and really focus on the material. you were here to get your degree, not to get heart eyes over some stupid boy.
you quickly drafted an email to eren,
to: erenjaeger4113@edu
from: y/n5411@edu
Hi Eren, my name is Y/N L/N. You were assigned as my tutor for chemistry 110, and I was wondering if you'd be open to go over material sometime this week? I'm really hoping to clarify some of the content before the exam on Friday, so it'd be great if you'd be free for a tutoring session. If not, I completely understand. Either way, thank you so much and have a great rest of your night.
Best,
Y/N L/N
you sent the email before you could stop yourself, and quickly shut your laptop. god, what were you getting yourself into?
when you had woken up next morning, eren had emailed you back.
to: y/n5411@edu
from: erenjaeger4113@edu
Hi Y/N! I'm actually free tonight at 6 if that works for you? Would you be okay with meeting at my dorm? I live in Mckee Hall. We can study in the common room. You can come with some example questions of what's been confusing you. Take some practice problems from the lecture slides that you didn't understand and we'll work through them together. Let me know if tonight works. Have a great rest of your day!
Sincerely, Eren Jaeger
you had to stop yourself from blushing at his message. he was simply being polite and doing his job but for some reason you were smiling. you quickly drafted a reply thanking him and letting him know that tonight works and you'd see him then.
you shook your head, chastising yourself for getting all worked-up from a simple message. you closed your laptop and got ready for the day.
you don't know why you were so nervous. it was 6pm, exactly, and you were standing outside the main door of Mckee Hall, where eren had told you to meet him.
the door opened, and there he was, a pretty smile on his face. "y/n, right?"
you nodded your head, unable to form words. eren had on a simple brown sweater with a white shirt underneath, and khaki pants. his hair was done up in a half up, half down style, a bun tied at the back of his head.
"here, come on in, s'cold," he said, holding the door open for you. you thanked him, walking inside. eren led you to the study room, asking if you were able to find the dorm alright, to which you said yes. you thanked him for "being able to schedule so soon," to which eren smiled, saying it was no problem.
once the two of you were settled in to the study room, eren asked if you had gone through the lecture slides. you stuttered out a "y-yeah," pulling your notebook out of your backpack, opening up to the page where you had written down the problems.
eren stood up abruptly, startling you slightly. he laughed softly, grabbing his chair and moving it to your side of the table, directly next to yours. "sorry, just thought it'd be easier if we were next to each other," he spoke, looking right at you, "is that alright?"
"yeah s'alright m-makes sense," you said, smiling softly before looking back down at your notebook. your cheeks felt so hot, and you felt embarrassed getting nervous simply due to his proximity.
as he got closer, a vanilla, woody scent waved by your nose. it must be his cologne. god, he was pretty, he could dress, and he smelt good! how were you supposed to focus for the next two hours?
"mmkay," eren mumbled, looking at your notebook, "you have really nice handwriting," he said, smiling over at you. you gave him a quiet, "thank you," as eren read the first problem.
"okay, okay, so walk me through this first one. how would you start it?"
you grabbed your pencil and started by writing out the variables you knew, "mhm, good," eren assured you as you continued. you made a mishap with your first calculation, and eren stopped you.
"okay, hold on," he said softly. "d'you mind if i steal your pencil real fast?" he asked. "oh-oh! yeah yeah of course," eren laughed at you softly. your fingers brushed his as you handed him the pencil, and you swear your heart skipped a beat.
"okay so when we have heating curves like this one, it's important to recognize which equation we need to use." you nodded your head.
"you already started off really well, by writing what variables you have, that was really really great," he said smiling. you swear your cheeks were growing hotter by the second.
"so there's 3 possible equations we can use and we can find the right one based on the variables we know we have. first, deltaH minus the specific heat capacity...."
the two hours with eren seemed to go by in minutes. you were surprised that you were actually seeming to grasp some of the content. it helped how encouraging eren was, smiling and praising what you did correctly, and helping you re-route when you did something wrong.
he actually cheered when you did the last question correctly without any help from him, getting a "shh!" from another person in the study lounge. you giggled softly at his embarrassed face.
as you began to pack up, eren's voice caused your ears to perk up, "did you want to meet again this week to go over the study guide? and i can help with any questions you have as you work through it."
"u-uhm, yeah! that would be great, thank you so much," you smiled at him, eren returning an even bigger smile.
"does tuesday at 7 work?" eren asked, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "that's perfect," you said, zipping yours closed. "o-okay, i'll see you then," he said, an almost shy demeanor taking over. "see you then," you copied, eren grinning at that. he held open the study lounge door for you, letting you walk out first.
you both paused, "well, uhm, thank you again, eren, this was really helpful,"
"of course, anytime, and i'll see you on tuesday," eren said. "tuesday," you smiled. "tuesday." eren said in a joking-serious tone causing you to giggle softly, his grin widening at the sound.
you started to walk away, giving eren a quick wave. eren gave you one back, smiling before he turned to walk up the staircase.
you couldn't help but grin the whole walk home.
tuesday came, and at exactly 6:58pm you were walking towards the main door of Mckee Hall, surprised to see eren sitting outside on the bench, waiting for you.
he looked up from his phone, smiling when he saw you. he stood up, putting his hands in his pockets, "hey," he said softly, "hi," you said back, in the same tone.
"ready to get your chemistry on?" eren joked, causing you to laugh softly. "please never ever say that again," you joked, eren giggling.
eren scanned his id card to get the two of you into the building, holding the door open for you.
it was cute that he had waited outside for you, backpack on and everything. the two of you walked to the study room, eren asking about how your day had been.
your conversation came to an abrupt end when the two of you entered the study room, to see there were no tables open. you looked at each other with a sort of "what now?" look.
eren's cheeks flushed slightly pink, "well uhm, w-we could study up in my room, o-only if you want! i-i just figured since we're already here, and like if you don't want to that's completely okay because.." he began to ramble on, unable to hear your "eren," as you smiled. "i-i only suggested it because the lounge s'full, n like n-no funny business or anything, like obviously! and i uh..." you began to laugh, eren's rambling coming to a pause as he looked over at you.
he smiled, thinking to himself how pretty you were when you laughed. "eren," you said, once you had caught your breath, still smiling. "i'm more than okay with studying in your room"
"yeah?" he asked, his cheeks still a pretty pink. "yeah," you smiled, eren smiling softly before looking down at his shoes.
"u-uhm okay, alright, follow me," he said, leading you out of the study lounge and up to his room.
eren's room was nothing like you expected. being in his room let you take a little peek inside his brain. in looking at eren, you wouldn't expect it, but he was actually quite the nerd.
the top of his desk was lined with books, and funko pops from different animes. you smiled softly at the little nanami kento funko pop.
his walls were lined with posters and canvases. "you watch cowboy bebop?" you said, smiling at the poster.
"yeah, s'one of my favorites," he said. "me too," you replied turning to look at him with a soft smile.
eren watched as you explored his room, smiling at the way you were so intrigued. "these canvases," you started, "did you paint these?"
"uhm yeah," he said, coming to stand next to you, "my mom's actually an artist, so i kinda get it from her i guess."
"they're beautiful, eren," you complimented, eren trying to stop his cheeks from getting any redder.
eventually after you had your fill, you had asked eren where you should sit. "uhm, you can take my bed, o-or the desk if you want! whichever one you prefer."
you plopped up on his bed, eren laughing softly at your jump. he grabbed your backpack for you, setting it next to you on the bed. "thank you," you said, eren smiling at you with a "mhm".
eventually, the two of you had gotten into the content of the study guide, eren helping you work through problems you were confused on, and explaining them to you.
at around 10pm, you guys had finished the study guide. "eren, i actually understand chemistry, it's a miracle," you joked, eren laughing softly. "seriously though," you continued, "thank you, you don't understand how big of a help you've been."
"well, you're a great student so s'not hard," eren smiled, and there came that fluttering feeling in your stomach again.
"have you eaten?" eren asked, catching you off guard. "i-i just realized, we kinda spent dinner time studying, and i was gonna go down to the kitchen n make some mac n cheese if, uh, if you want some?"
"y-yeah, i could go for some mac n' cheese."
"i'm convinced you're gordon ramsey or some shit," you said as you took another bite of mac n cheese. eren laughed, "don't boost my ego like that."
as the two of you ate, you continued to converse about random things. the conversation initially started with you asking eren what his major was, which you found out, was biology. you laughed asking him why he TA'd for chemistry and not biology, and eren was quick to joke,
"i guess i'm just that multi-faceted, you know it's a struggle just having so much genius in my head," "oh shut up," you giggled, eren smiling over at you.
the conversation eventually drifted into anime, which the two of you bonded over. you were ranting about jujutsu kaisen,
"and i just don't get how people are complaining about this season's animation! like i'd like to see you do it, mr. i live in my mom's basement," eren snorted at that, causing you to laugh loudly.
it was a dinner filled with laughs and smiles, and that warm feeling in both of your chests that just would not go away.
and to be honest, neither of you wanted to let go of that feeling.
since eren was a TA, he was also a proctor for the exams. he smiled when you came to the front to grab your scantron. he handed it to you, with a soft whisper of, "you're gonna do great, don't stress."
you smiled at him, walking back to your seat. and for the first time this year, the questions on your exam didn't look like a child's scribbling. you still struggled on some questions, but you mostly understood what you were doing.
for once, you finished the exam with a feeling of hope instead of impending doom.
and when you got your score back the next day, you had gotten an 85!
your first thought was that you couldn't wait to tell eren.
"an 85!" he yelped. you nodded, biting your lip with a big smile. "holy shit, y/n!" he cheered, his arms wrapping around you in a big hug.
it caught you off guard, but you quickly melted into his embrace, hugging him back. after 10 seconds, eren pulled away, awkwardly putting his hands at his side.
"s-sorry!" he apologized, "just got really excited," he said softly, his cheeks that pretty shade of pink that they often turned.
"s'okay," you smiled, "thank you," was all you could say.
"i'm....i'm really proud of you," eren said softly.
that sentence had you on top of the world.
" i couldn't of done it without you, eren."
december had quickly approached, and with it so had snowstorms and finals week. eren had continued to tutoring you, helping you cover content that had confused you during lectures, and providing you with weekly quizzes to help test your knowledge on each chapter.
now that finals week was here, you and eren had been in cram-mode. eren was intent on helping you ace this final, and he knew you could do it.
the two of you were in his room, as you usually were. after that first study session in his room, you asked eren if you guys could keep studying in his room. you said, "s'just nice in there. feels comfortable, i think it helps me focus," and who was he to say no?
if anything, the image of you on his bed, pencil in between your teeth was more than enough motivation for you guys to have your study sessions in his dorm room.
like now, you were sitting on his bed, in spandex and a big T-shirt. you had came in sweats and a sweatshirt, with your big winter coat over you.
when you had asked eren if you could take your sweats off, he was at a loss for words, just looking at you with wide eyes. "i-i have shorts on underneath," you promised, eren sputtering out words, "uhm, uh yeah, of course! s-sorry,"
when you had said shorts, eren wasn't expecting spandex that clung to your figure. he was trying his best to respectful, but, oh my god, he couldn't take his eyes off you.
and then your sweatshirt came off, revealing your big T-shirt, and he couldn't help but imagine how you'd look in one of his shirts. how you'd put it on in the morning, and the way it would drape over your figure. that combined with the image of you sat atop his bed, had him shifting in his pants.
he was doing his best to not pop a boner right now.
regardless, he was here to help you study! and that's what he was trying to do, but...you seemed distracted. your pencil was between your teeth as usual, but your eyes were glazed over with something he had never seen in you before.
you hadn't written anything in your notebook for the past 5 minutes. eren cleared his throat, causing you to shake your head slightly and let out a shaky breath.
"you good?" he asked, to which you gave a simple, "mhm."
eren didn't believe you.
"c'mere," he said, causing you to look at him, with raised eyebrows. "y/n, c'mere," he repeated. you listened, getting down from the bed.
he pushed the chair he was sitting in back from the desk slightly, "sit," was all he said. "h-huh?" you spoke softly, trying to stop your thighs from clenching together.
"y/n, you seem distracted up on the bed, so just sit n' i'll keep you focused. you can't do good on the exam if you spend our whole study session chewing on your pencil."
your cheeks were getting hotter, "o-okay," was all you said, sitting down on eren's lap.
eren was convinced he like to torture himself because the second you sat down on his lap, he was trying his best not to run his hand over your thighs.
eren let out a soft, shaky breath. "a-am i too heavy? m'sorry i-i can get up," you said, lifting yourself up from eren's lap. eren's hands came to your waist, pulling you back down, "mm mm s'not it, jus hot n here s'all."
"o-okay," eren stuttered, "walk me through problem 6," he said referencing to his open binder on the desk. "u-uhm" you said, your voice shaking, "so it's asking a-about dihedral angles."
you could feel yourself getting wet and you were beginning to curse yourself for wearing such thin spandex.
eren listened as you spoke, "so it's either psi, phi, or omega." "mhm, keep going," he said, voice low.
eren's eyes widened as you continued to speak. he doesn't think you notice how you're slightly rocking your hips over his lap.
fuck. he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to. his dick was starting to twitch in his pants, getting thicker as your pretty hips started to rock over him. the slightest whimpers were slipping out in between your words and eren swears he must of died and gone to heaven.
was it okay to put his hands on you now? could he? god, he wanted to so badly. would you be okay with it? fuck, if the way you were moving over his dick had anything to say about it, he thinks you'd be okay with it.
fuck it. eren brought his hands to your thigh, humming as you continued. you paused what you were saying, hips stuttering in their movements. "s'this okay?' eren asked. "y-yeah," you said, cringing at the whimper that accompanied your words.
"okay, keep working through the problem for me," eren sighed, his hands resting on your thighs. "uhm, so the psi angle is from the alpha carbon to the carbonyl carbon, and the, uhm.." you words began to drift off as eren's hands began to trace over your thighs.
"c'mon y/n, focus," eren said, resting his chin over your shoulder as he watched your hand shake as you held the pencil. "m'trying, i'm sorry," you said voice shaky, your hips still rocking over eren's lap.
"don't apologize, pretty girl. just finish the problem for me and then we can take a break," eren promised, his hands rubbing over the inside of your thighs now.
pretty girl. he was trying to kill you.
"o-okay, ren', i-i'll focus," you said softly. "u-uhm this angle, though, is from the alpha carbon to the nitrogen, w-which would uhm," eren's fingers were lightly rubbing over your clit through your spandex.
"c'mon baby spit it out. what would it be, you're s'close," eren hummed softly. "i-it would be t-the phi angle, p-please eren,"
eren was grinning at how desperate you had gotten, your hips were rocking with fervor now, and you had thrown your head back to rest on his shoulder, leaning your body into his as he rubbed over your clit.
"mmm good job, baby, so smart, hmm?" eren's dick was throbbing, you just looked so pretty for him. he couldn't take his eyes off of your face, the way your eyebrows scrunched together, your pretty lips open in an o-shape.
"c'mon baby tell me how smart you are," eren said, rubbing over your clit more intensely now. "i-i'm smart," you said breathlessly, rocking your hips into eren's hand. "yeah you are, angel," eren said, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder.
"n i think you deserve something for being so good, huh? whaddya' think?" "yes, yes, please ren', need it," you whined.
eren laughed at you softly, removing his hand from over your clit, and tapping at your thigh, "stand up, baby," he said lowly.
you whimpered at the loss of his touch, but listened nonetheless, standing up and turning around to face him. eren sat up straight, bringing his hands to your thighs once more. "so, so pretty," he murmured to himself. "wanna take this off for me, angel?" eren said, tugging at your shirt. "mhm," you hummed, lifting your shirt over your head.
"fuck me," eren sighed. you had on a pretty, lacy pink bra. eren was convinced he was the luckiest man on earth. "shorts too, baby," he said, and you were more than happy to oblige.
eren swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. pretty pink underwear with a little bow in the middle. you were pure perfection. "oh my god, c'mere," he said pulling at your waist, having you straddle him. you giggled as he pulled you on top of him, the both of you smiling at one another.
your hands looped around his neck, and eren's hand came up to your face softly stroking your cheek. "you're so pretty, y'know that?" he said, his eyes entrapped with yours.
you couldn't take the attention, looking down. "mm mm, look at me," he said, his hand falling to your chin to force your eyes back on his. "so so pretty," he repeated, pulling you in for a kiss.
it was everything you had imagined and more. the way eren's lips moved against yours had your hips rocking in his lap once more. the soft sounds the both of you were making being muffled by the other's lips.
eren's tongue slipped in to your mouth, brushing against yours. eren pulled away, lips slick with spit. you were breathing heavily, pouting as you looked at eren.
"w-wanna see you too," you said, your hand bunched into his shirt. eren smiled at you, "yeah? help me take it off.""
your hands came to the bottom of his shirt lifting it up, eren grabbed at the neckline of his shirt to pull it over his head, but not before it got stuck slightly, causing the two of you to laugh.
he finally got it off, grinning at your pretty smile. your hands came to trace over his abs, looking back up at him and back down at them.
"let's get on the bed, hmm?" eren said, his hand coming back to rub softly at your cheek. you looked up at him, nodding. eren wrapped his arm around you, standing up. eren tossed you softly on to the bed, before joining you atop it.
you were laying down, head propped up on his pillow. eren hovered over you, leaning down for a kiss. what started off soft and slow, quickly became more desperate.
eren's hands were running over your body, yours arching into his. he took the chance to reach for the clasp of your bra and undo it. after feeling it come undone, you slid the straps over your arms and let it fall down slightly.
eren pulled away from your lips, grabbing your bra and tossing it down onto the floor. he looked down at your breasts, moaning at the sight. your nipples were stiff from the cold air.
eren didn't know what he wanted to do first, but he knew he had to have his lips on you. he kissed you once more, moving to your cheek, then your neck. he kissed down your shoulder, to your collarbone, finally landing one on your breasts.
he looked up at you before sucking a nipple into his mouth, evoking a soft whimper from you. his right hand began to tweak at your other nipple, rubbing the bud between his fingers, pinching and twisting softly.
he loved how reactive you were, the way you moaned and whimpered at each touch. he needed to taste you.
eren kissed down your stomach, right to the bow on your panties. his hands came to the hem of your panties as he looked up at you. "s'this okay?" he asked, wanting to make sure you were comfortable.
"s'more than okay, please touch me," you begged so sweetly, eren couldn't help but smile. he landed one more kiss right below your belly button before pulling your panties down your legs.
your panties were left dangling around your left foot as eren spread your thighs apart. you were dripping, your arousal evident as he took his fingers and spread you apart.
you were hiding your face in your hands when eren looked up at you. "getting shy on me now?" he asked, voice low. "there's no reason to be," he said, breathless as he watched you clench around nothing.
"s'so perfect," he muttered, before landing a kiss on your clit. his lips quickly wrapped around your clit, suckling softly at the bundle of nerves.
you were a mess, legs kicking, thighs trying to shut close around eren's head. he just put a hand around each thigh, and kept you spread open for him.
"ren', ren!" you whine, sounding like a broken record. eren was in heaven. there's no way he was letting you go anywhere after this.
he brought a finger down to your entrance, softly licking at your clit as he slid it in. his finger was reaching depths that yours never could. he curled it slightly, feeling that gummy, sensitive spot that had you losing your mind.
your hips bucked when he first touched it, eren laughing softly at your reaction. he continued to push his fingers against that spot, and you were going dumb, whining absolute nonsense, "mm oh my! oh e-eren oh fff-please!"
eren needed you to cum on his face, needed to see how pretty you looked when you reached your peak. he hadn't taken his eyes off of your face as he analyzed your every reaction and expression.
"r-ren', i-i'm gonna! gonna-oh!" you were trying to tell him you were close. eren understood, and sucked at your clit even harder, lightly grazing his teeth against it. you were so loud, he knows his dorm neighbors probably hated him.
"c'mon baby," he said, words muffled by his face pressed into your clit. your hips were grinding into his face now, your hands coming down to grab onto his hair. eren moaned at the feeling, the vibrations making you haywire.
you were so, so, so close, and with one final press of his fingers, your orgasm was washing over you, juices pooling out of you and into eren's mouth.
"mmmm" he hummed as he worked you through it. eren pulled away, his chin wet with your arousal. "ren', p-please kiss me," you said softly, your hands coming to his cheek as you pulled him up towards you.
his lips were on yours once more and you could taste yourself on his lips. "taste s'good, huh?" eren grinned at you. "w-wanna make you feel good, too," you said, your hand coming down to softly palm at eren's cock through his boxers.
"oh, fuck," he sighed, his forehead resting against yours. " can i, ren?" you asked so sweetly, your eyes boring into his. "y-yeah," he choked out.
you told him to sit back as you two swapped positions.
you were on your knees in front of eren, who had spread his legs enough to make room for you in between them. you pulled his boxers down along with his shorts, eren helping as he lifted himself off the bed so you could get them off.
his cock sprung out, hitting his stomach softly. he was so big, your mouth started to water. the tip was a blush red, his cock curved slightly. he was so thick, you didn't know how he was going to fit inside of you.
the second you wrapped your hand around his cock, eren was a goner. he was watching you so intently, and when your pretty lips opened to take his tip into your mouth, eren threw his head back with a soft groan.
he looked back down, watching as you sucked softly on the tip. when your eyes looked up to stare into his, eren whimpered. "d-doing so good, baby," he praised you, his hand coming to softly rest on your head.
you took his cock out of your mouth, looking up at him ever-so-innocently, "what do you wanna do to me, ren?"
you were stroking his cock, the pre-cum leaking from his tip helping you as your hand slip up and down. "f-fuck, oh my god," he whined.
"want you to use me however you want," you said, your pretty voice sweet and soft. "f-fuck, however i want?" eren said, voice breaking.
god, what were you doing to him?
"mhm," you hummed, kissing the tip softly. "c'mon ren," you pouted, "don't you wanna use my throat?" eren groaned, both of his hands coming down to rest on your cheeks now. "f-fuck, c'mon open up," he ordered, the change in his tone making your clit throb.
eren's hands move to your hair, wrapping around it. you opened your mouth, lips around eren's cock once more. "yeah just like that," eren said as he pushed your head down softly, forcing more of his cock down your throat.
"god, you take it so good," he sighed, his hips bucking at the feeling. you gagged softly, eren groaning at the feeling before pulling you off his cock.
you were breathing heavily, eyes watering slightly as you looked up at eren. "m-more, please," you whined, eren's thumb coming to play with your bottom lip.
"you're such a slut for it, hmm?" he said, his words causing you to whimper. "you like that too, don't you?" he spoke, voice gravely as he stared down at you.
"wanna be a good slut for me, yeah?" he asked, to which you nodded. eren softly slapped your cheek, "c'mon use your words for me,"
"y-yes eren wanna be your good slut."
eren was smirking down at you now, "then be good n choke on it," he said, bringing you back down to his cock. eren was moaning as you took him deeper, his hips bucking.
"f-fuck, oh y/n," he sighed, his hands falling from your hair. you took the chance to wrap your hand around his cock, stroking and sucking at the same time.
eren thinks he was starting to lose his mind. "g-god baby! go-gotta stop m' gonna cum," he was saying, his voice breaking in between the words.
you took his cock out of your mouth, still stroking him slowly. you looked up at him, smiling, and eren knew that image would forever be engrained in his brain.
"baby c'mere," he said, his hands coming to your cheeks as he pulled you in for a kiss. eren was smooth as he flipped your bodies over, hovering on top of you now.
"needa be inside you, pretty girl," eren said, his cock resting over your stomach. "h-hold on," he said, "i n-needa grab a condom."
your hands braced against his shoulders to stop him. "wanna feel you," you said, eren's eyes widening. "n, n i'm clean and i'm on birth control," you rationalized, as if eren needed a reason to be inside you raw.
"fuck, baby, are you sure?" "mhm," you nodded, pulling him in for a kiss. eren's hand wrapped around the base of his cock as he stroked the tip of his cock in between your folds. "f-fuck," eren moaned at the feeling of your wetness coating his tip.
every time his tip nudged your clit, you jolted, causing eren to smile devilishly. eren brought the tip down to your entrance, softly pushing inside. when the tip slipped in the both of you let out a soft sigh.
as eren pushed further in, you were whining. there was so much of him, so much to take. "you can do it, pretty girl," eren said softly, slowing pressing himself in further and further.
when he was fully inside, he just sat there, giving you a moment to adjust. he watched your face scrunch, getting used to the feeling of him inside of you.
he watched as your facial expression then relaxed, eyes opening to look at him. "s-so full," you whimpered, "p-please move," you whined, eager to feel eren more.
eren was quick to listen, pulling out till just the tip was in before thrusting back inside of you roughly. you both were reeling at the feeling, you from how deep eren was hitting, and eren from how wet and warm you felt around him.
"f-fuck, such a good fucking girl," eren moaned, his hand drifting up to rest on your neck. you took your hand and wrapped it around his rest, signaling you wanted more.
eren just grinned down at you before wrapping his hand around your neck. he couldn't help but think how pretty you looked being fucked stupid.
"god, the way you're squeezing around me baby, trying to milk me for all m'worth huh?" eren groaned. your legs were wrapped around him tight now, not wanting to let him go.
"please, please ren' want you to cum, w-want you to fill me up," you begged. if eren thought he was close before, he was right on the edge now, his hips stuttering as he spoke, "f-fuck, you want it inside?" eren asked, his eyes raking over your body, hand still wrapped around your pretty neck.
"p-please!" you whined, eren thrusting even faster now. "fuck, gotta cum for me then angel," eren said, taking his hand that was wrapped around your neck and bringing it down to your clit, his thumb rubbing circles on the bundle.
"f-fuck ren!" you were moaning loudly now, hips having a mind of their own, your wetness creating a squelching sound with each of eren's thrust.
"that's it baby, c'mon cum for me," eren was moaning too, so close, but he needed you to cum first. "show me how good you are," eren groaned, that being the final thing to tip you over the edge.
your orgasm triggered eren's, his warm cum filling you up as he moaned your name loudly, hips stuttering as pumped you full. "f-fuck" he sighed, as he came down from his high, looking down at your dazed-out expression.
"did so good for me baby," he said softly, pulling out of you. "t-thank you, ren," you said, your voice so soft.
"think after a shower n some food you'll be able to focus now?" eren joked. "mmm, i don't know," you said, turning to him with a smile, "think you may have to help me focus again."
thank you for reading! i sincerely hope you enjoyed the fic<333
also for anyone who's watched the finale can we talk about cabin eren. oh my lawd i am feral over him!!!
if you would like to, reblog or leave comment if you liked the fic! my requests are also open:D
also if there are any spelling/grammar errors, let me know!
sending you all lots of love, and happiness - angel (*o*)
#eren x reader#eren smut#eren fic#eren imagine#eren ask#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger smut#eren jaeger fic#eren jaeger imagine#eren jaeger ask#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager smut#eren yeager fic#eren yeager imagine#eren yeager ask#eren yaeger x reader#eren yaeger smut#eren yaeger fic#eren yaeger imagine#eren yaeger ask#aot x reader#aot smut#aot fic#aot imagine#aot ask#snk x reader#snk smut#snk fic#snk imagine#snk ask
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Hi I'm Brazilian and I saw your post about us joining and thank you 🫶🏻 I joined yesterday and I'm really lost. Could you recommend me blogs? hld exists here? Are any other updates accounts? other Brazilian larries or whatever, please I need people to follow I'm desperate 😭
hi bby!! welcome to this multiverse of madness, you will be gay here.
UAs: hldailyupdate, dailytomlinson, stylesnews - stylesarchive, hlupdate are inactive now, check them for archive purposes!
Fashion archives: fashionlouist - harryfashionarchive and louisfashionarchive are inactive now as well
Fics: this answer contains a lot
For creators: hljournal, hlcreators, hltracks
Pics & edits: tomlinsonedits, styles-edits - ltpics and hspics are also inactive rn
Gifs: stylinsongifs, lwt-gifs, hes-gifs, also inactive rn - but here are some fan blogs that make amazing gifs (remember to support their work by reblogging and not only liking! likes don't help to boost content here):
@2tiedships2 melanie is historically our gif maker, she has been doing lords work for a damn long time here, i think we all collectively thank her for her service 🫡
@bilouistomlinson logan changes his url a lot but his our purple buddy here so you will always recognise them by their icon 💜 he absolutely adores louis so if you wanna stand by your screen seeing gifs of louis being hot: their blog is a must on your list!
@delicatepointofview ingrid makes gifs with incredible quality, i sometimes find out louis appeared because i see one of her gif set before an UA, really. we appreciate the hard work 🩷
@miss-styles i think lei is not currently making gifs but her work is awesome and if you like harry you can spend ours on her tag 🕺🏻
@creulsummer lorna has plenty of gifs of different stuff, i adore her fall vibes 🍂 her aesthetic is always pleasant to see
okay now, (more) blog recommendations!! even though i may not talk to everyone here, i do love seeing them on my dash so here is a list of larries on my phone: @thechavier @robinniko @kiwikiwiandkiwi @quickpauseinconversations @larryisinlove @28cum @louisarmpits @zouisexo @wdbhgdotmp3 @louisgrayhairs @tommos @louispalooza @daisiesonafield-blog @skepticalarrie @killmymind @nunchailou @braverytattoos @thebirdtatts @handgf @fishandfrog @whatifai @itsnotreal @ishipmutualrespect @stylinsuns @harrylouis @whenyouvequitefinished @sunkissedlouis @farawaytattoo @hs1 @allmylouv @yourgoldenview @thewhitecitrus @bluewinnerangel - im sure im forgetting a lot of people, so in advance im extremely sorry my beloved moots. also feel free to tag your fave blogs in the comments or rb and i'll rb again so new accs can follow them <3
we are all kinda messy and gay, we also tend to vote for "nuanced answer/im bald/secret third option" in every poll so if you don't like that maybe consider moving to threads. its like twitter (instagram's version). the app looks like a social experiment and if the news are late to twitter, i can't imagine how late they are there so good luck
also, i cannot end this blog rec with our bestie <3 shout out to lthqofficial who made a blog here, checked us out for 3 days and left. they were like: nope! bye!! 👋🏻
anyway hope this has helped ❤️🩹
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how tf do you make a post title on the new tumblr mobile app all I can do is make words bigger
hi hello it's sivi aka tonysopranobignaturals or whatever other cursed urls i've had. check my tiktok (nukehenrykissinger) for proof this is really me. if you don't already know I deleted my account a while ago after being put in a "most annoying tumblr users" poll. however, it's not being called an annoying tumblr user that actually caused me to deactivate, but rather the rumors spread as a result. this poll essentially grouped me with pedophiles and nazis and for people who already hated me it was a good opportunity to send anonymous asks telling people I believe awful things, am friends with awful people, etc., and while SOME people actually went to my blog before making assumptions, others did not. at the time this all happened I had over 80,000 followers. having that much attention online is only really useful on websites where you can monetize it. on tumblr it only gets your posts and your blog in places you wish it didn't.
I hoped being off tumblr would improve my mental health and while it did decrease relationship paranoia on social media, otherwise i've been doing quite horribly and put my family in danger several times. it's so bad that i'm saving up to move out so my family can live a more peaceful and safe life. looking back on my delusions that lead to planning murder-suicide (family annihilation) it's hard for me to comprehend how it was myself who got to that point. this disease turns you into someone else and there's only so much you can do to stop it--a person in a psychotic state is not self aware. my psychosis is trauma induced and I WILL have recurrent episodes that I can't predict or prevent. I have to live life with this knowledge. it's not easy. treatment is also difficult, and now that i've moved to an area with absolutely AWFUL healthcare I can barely even get my meds refilled, let alone find a therapist or psychiatrist who actually wants to work with me after seeing my record of institutionalizations.
now, on a more positive note, some people have asked me about my world on my tiktok. well, it's just as active as it's always been, and catching you up on current events would take forever so i'd rather post naturally as things occur like I did before.
and to conclude all of this...if you do have a problem with me for any reason that's fine; i'm not entitled enough to think I inherently deserve everyone's support, but I DO think you could just like, block me and leave it at that. oh yeah and the post says "return to tumblr *maybe*" because i'm not sure if I can handle the attention long enough for me to not delete again LOL.
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Okay, what the FUCK is Inklore?
My ULO pals and I have been deliberating on this one since it was announced. "Inklore", the brand new imprint from Random House Worlds - which is, in and of itself, an imprint of Penguin Random House - and Rachel Smythe Presents, an in-house program of sorts that's dedicated to graphic novels, specifically those that "tell updated, romantic versions of classic stories and mythologies, and caters to readers looking for bingeable, relationship-driven stories with a distinct visual voice."
Basically it's exactly how it sounds - they're creating an imprint for works like Lore Olympus, and using Rachel as the leading lady.
But let's dig a little deeper. Because the more I searched on Inklore, Rachel Smythe Presents, and Random House Worlds, the more it started to paint a picture of what's really going on here.
INKLORE
I talked about this in my recent analysis of LO's pacing problems, but Inklore launching in Spring 2024 conveniently lines up with what would seem like a reasonable end point for LO. Rachel's always lined up LO's episodes with real life dates and holidays - even when it's been at her comic's own expense - and while we've kept our minds open to the possibility that it could end later than Spring, there's no denying at this point that LO itself is dragging itself out, which gives me stronger reason to believe it's just trying to make it to March, specifically March 20th, which is the first day of Spring in the northern hemisphere. Because of this, our best predictions right now is that LO's series finale will either release on FP or unlock for free readers on either the 16th or 23rd of March (if it unlocks for free on either of those dates, that means we can expect the series to end behind the FP paywall on either April 6th or 13th, assuming they're aren't any more hiatuses, but at this point I doubt there will be.)
Moving on, let's look at the actual Inklore site-
Already you can get the vibe of what kind of work they're looking for through their imprint. This is for people like Rachel. Now, I'm definitely not going to rag on anyone's tastes, I myself am a weeb of epic proportions, but considering you're about to see what's really the highlight of this site, you'll get what I mean when I say this isn't for people like Rachel, this is for people like Rachel. Specifically Rachel.
RACHEL SMYTHE PRESENTS
Inklore seems to be just an imprint specifically for Rachel Smythe Presents, with a couple extra series tacked on to give off the impression of it being more credible than it is. It means the whole site can be dedicated to it, rather than having it shoved in haphazardly alongside Penguin Random House's other works. You'll see what I mean in a second, but let's magnify those questions real quick, shall we?
As soon as I saw the "we are not accepting unsolicited pitches for Rachel Smythe Presents", it dawned on me that Rachel's own fans don't know how imprints work. Why do I say that? Look no further than the comment sections on her announcement posts for RSP (which I'm abbreviating, but I assure you, it stands for "Rachel Sex Party"- /j)
Of course, there are plenty of "congratulations" comments and "please do xyz myth", in which case, please, don't let her touch more myths I beg you-
But then there are also the odd comments of people asking how to get involved themselves. People who are just, by all accounts, regular people on the Internet.
But wait, how do you get involved? Thankfully there's a handy URL in that FAQ telling us how.
And holy shit, it's hilarious.
Guys, it's so easy to get into Rachel Smythe Presents! All you have to do is finish a manuscript, find an agent who's willing to work with a new unpublished author (and hope that they're not a scammer), get your manuscript prepared for publishing and submitted to editors, and then hopefully land a book deal! Wasn't that so easy?? Thanks for demystifying the process, Penguin Random House!
Listen, okay, there's something to be said about how difficult it is to navigate the publishing world. While some of those difficulties are for good reason - to ensure that not just any piece of crap thrown on paper can get published - many more are rooted in privilege, racial gatekeeping, and sexism. It is still an industry being run by a lot of nasty old fucks who take full advantage of people desperate enough to get their book published.
All that aside, it's kind of hilarious - in a sad kind of way - to see fans of this comic assume that this project and its opportunities were ever made for them. It wasn't. It wasn't made for the Canvas creators, it wasn't made for the Wattpad writers, it wasn't made for the people who work in the medium that Rachel started out in to get where she is today. It was made for the people who are already 3 of the 4 steps into Penguin Random House's "helpful" guide on publishing. It was made for the Cait Corrains and the wannabe Rick Riordans.
At best, Inklore is simply a home that's been manufactured for Lore Olympus after it's done on Webtoons. It may remain on the WT platform forever - or maybe not - but Inklore gives it a way to be seen and acknowledged outside of its niche. Because, despite Webtoons attempting to make Lore Olympus a global phenomenon, it really hasn't sold well in other countries, especially those where it was translated which people from those countries have stated it's not translated well at all.
It goes to show that much of LO's claim to fame was manufactured within North America by Webtoons itself, and Inklore is just another one of those manufactured attempts.
Still don't believe me? Still think I'm wearing too much tinfoil?
There are still only two series that Inklore has to show for itself - and remember, it launches in two months - and of course the ones leading that charge are every single volume of LO, even the ones that aren't "new and upcoming" anymore.
And then there's their Instagram, which is just more of the same-
(wonder if they ever found a Marketing Manager? Not exactly the role you want to be left empty leading up to a launch, oop-)
But wait, doesn't that site layout look a little... off? Almost cheap, maybe? Am I being too harsh-
Oop, nope, it's the exact same template used for the LoreOlympusBooks.com website.
Wait a minute, what about the imprint that Inklore is attached to? Random House Worlds?
RANDOM HOUSE WORLDS
... Uhhuh. I'm not entirely convinced that Lore Olympus is in any way on the same level as fucking Star Wars but to the average onlooker, this would make Lore Olympus seem pretty big and important simply on the virtue of it sitting smack dab in the middle of a grid of massive franchises.
So I'll bite, where do these buttons go? They all lead to external sites selling books and merchandise (except for the Marvel Studios one, which hilariously doesn't have a URL attached, so that button goes nowhere LMAO)
... Oh. It's that layout again.
Not all of them have the same layout, mind you, but it seems to be the default layout for sites they just haven't buffed up yet. It would explain why the Star Wars and D&D sites are a lot more robust in their designs, while others just link back to Penguin Random House:
Now the Minecraft one does look better at first glance, but it's still just the same template as the LO site, with a slightly different layout, but working off the same design philosophy, like they just spent a few extra hours dragging things around and spiffying them up in a site editor.
So it seems a lot of the default sites are working off the same CSS stylesheets, which doesn't exactly look good for LO and Inklore's online identity.
But hey, it's gotta mean something that LO is sitting alongside such franchises as Star Wars, Marvel, Magic the Gathering, and Minecraft, right? These are some of the biggest franchises on the planet, and while LO does make a lot of money, it's still nowhere near the billions that these franchises generate every single year.
And that's what I would be saying, if I hadn't noticed the specific products that Random House Worlds was selling - all easily churned out merch, from cookbooks to spin-off titles, which aren't exactly the main draw for these franchises, simply stocking stuffers or otherwise fun gimmicks to try out.
(I actually own the Dungeons and Dragons tarot deck. It's shit. They don't actually tell you the suit of the cards, JUST the numbers, so you have to flip through the book and match up the pictures on the cards with the pictures in the book just to figure out if it's Cups, Pentacles, Wands, or Swords, which I'm sure you can figure out, if you're a tarot reader, is very inconvenient and doesn't make for a good card reading experience)
Point is, Random House Worlds seems to mostly be an imprint dedicated solely to the cheaper products and books they can make to pump up a franchise's merch count. Even the Critical Role site doesn't offer the campaign books, those are published by their own personal imprint Darrington Press and are offered on their main - and much better designed - site:
Instead it's selling printed versions of interviews and... mad libs.
Not made or even really endorsed by the Critical Role cast, because if they were, they'd be on the main site, where the good shit is.
Random House Worlds is, at least judging off what I've found here, the "trick the parents into buying it" imprint. It's simply there for parents to see, go "my kid watches / plays that!" and then buy a Beholder puzzle which their kid will undoubtedly start and then never finish and eventually throw out half-finished after all the pieces have been lost. It's the cheap merch money generating machine, with works written by people who were simply paid to write it, and not people actually involved in the larger franchises.
And this is the imprint that Inklore and Rachel Smythe Presents is going to be an extension of.
At best, Inklore will likely just be a home for Rachel's work post-Webtoons, with maybe the odd success outside of it. At worst, it comes across as nothing more than an ego project, another artificial attempt to place Rachel and LO on the same playing field as Marvel, Minecraft, Star Wars, and Dungeons & Dragons through the only means that they can - an imprint that specializes in off-brand books, which they're truly counting on people just seeing the logos and going "wow those are big franchises!" and associating LO with that status simply by affiliation - without it having anywhere near the actual level of prestige, household influence, or brand recognition.
Its readership is dying out, its stats dropping, and worst of all, the vast majority of people - of which its a very small amount - who have heard about LO without being a Webtoons user themselves have heard how infamous it is in its bad writing and poor art direction.
It has nowhere to go but down, and if you were hoping to be a part of Rachel Smythe Presents, then all I can suggest to you is to go through the very simple process of finishing your manuscript, finding an agent, finding an editor, and then (hopefully) landing a book deal with the 'esteemed' Inklore.
Good luck! ヽ(・��・)ノ
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Good morning,
my sister and I as queerish catholicish people* have been fascinated with the the new pope drama.
Anyways we were wondering about context.
When the pope was asking the vatican to "tone down the faggotry" was he
Deliberatly condemning homosexuls in the vatican?
Asking vatican employees to stop gay sex while at work.
Asking vatican employees to stop behaving in a stereotypically gay way at work?
Asking vatican employees to stop being so extra? This is pope Francis after all. He's not really a big luxury guy.....and maybe he finds the drag race aesthetic to be at odds with votes of poverty. (The documentary "Paris is burning" might correct that misunderstanding...but I can see how a general apeal to tone down extragance combined with a new slang phrase in his second language could cause this.
I do understand that whatever the context for the quote was, pope Francis used the wrong term.
But Im really curious what he was trying to accomplish.
Also how do I pronounce your new Url as I relay this information to my family?
*I am a practicing queer raised catholic and she a practicing catholic at a queer independent catholic** church
**yes its existence shocked me to, but they have like 18 members and a local epicable let's them met in thier space in off hours. And they take nor give any money to the vactican and sing the old mass.
Ok your sister's queer independent catholic church sounds honestly cool af. Hope they're having fun in there.
Context: the Pope was telling (Italian) bishops that the Church should discourage gay men from joining, and "there's too much homosexuality (faggotry) in seminaries already." We don't know the context as this was leaked, but if I HAD to make a guess I would say_ 1) This is undoubtedly a homophobic statement 2) this is coming from a guy who feels strongly that clergy should respect their votes of chastity, which a lot of priests straight-up ignore.
So, like. Francis HAS gone on record saying that gay men are likely to falter in their vocations or whatever. But if I had to speculate, and I don't believe I'm being overly charitable here, I think the point of his speech was, "By the way, priests should not fuck, remember that? And maybe men who are into men are more likely to fuck their colleagues and keep quiet about it, we all know it happens way too much."
But yeah tldr: he WAS "deliberately condemning homosexuals" in a "gay people are more likely than straight people to give in to the temptations of the flesh" kinda way. Which IS homophobic but not outrageously so, and I think very much in line with his overall line re: queer people in the Church, kind of when he said "Blessings to same-sex couples are fine! It's not the same thing as a real marriage tho."
I think it was a remark that wouldn't have raised any eyebrows among its intended audience if he hadn't used that word, which gave people who don't like him a lot of ammo to discredit him and motivation to leak the story. That's also why I think there's no way he was aware of the full implications of the word — would this pope say slurs in private? idk. maybe. I don't know him. Would he say slurs in front of an audience of bishops when half the Vatican can't stand him because they think he's a dangerous third-world outsider and a hardass? No fucking way.
At least that's my take. I'm gonna @monstrousgourmandizingcats who may have better insight.
this is how you pronounce it!
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Hello it’s me again! It’s been a while, I hope you’ve been doing okay. I recently have been reading through a lot of angst to comfort and I have an idea for a request!
May I request an Ike fic where reader is a liver in NIJISANJI and has a crush on Ike but knows they have no chance with him. Then one day reader accidentally spills their feelings to Ike and Ike comforts them after hearing about readers feelings?
I hope you’re not tired of me requesting Ike fics (ily him to much) and I hope you have a good day/night! <3
-🖋️
stars above your skin
oh 🖋 we're really in it now
how long have i had this request in my inbox? early march? and now exactly one day after blue light dropped, i give you a ~19.5k word ike fic. much love and effort has gone into this one, only seconded by the massive amounts of brainrot.
so yeah, i'm not tired of ike requests. i'm literally a quilldren that writes fanfic. this is the opposite of a problem
in fact this might be one of my favorite things i've written... the second half is such a good bedtime story for me...!
this is going to get NASTY to read on tumblr—as in my site is lagging so hard just typing these a/n notes. so i'm going to remind you all that not only is liking/reblogging recommended to keep track of this fic, but also that i have an ao3 account (same name as url but without dashsince it's much more accessible than tumblr for long fic. i recommend reading on tumblr if you can because of some formatting but to each their own!
here’s a funny story about this fic. i was working on it while a bunch of people sat behind me, you see, and one of my greatest irrational fears is that people sitting behind me will be able to see my laptop screen and laugh at what i’m writing…! and with these requests i usually title them the fandom name and my name, and a short phrase about the request, and this one was “workplace romance”, and i just got so afraid right then and there i changed it to the first thing i could think of, based off a clip i saw of pomu, selen, aia and doppio…!! and that’s why the wip doc is titled “nijisanji 4402 - pliskin”, and why i will always refer to this fic as "pliskin" much more than the actual title
by the way here’s a cover of iris that was pretty fitting for this fic. you’ll know when to play it. enjoy
tags: hurt/comfort, reader is a niji vtuber, gender neutral reader, off-collab, mutual pining, misunderstandings, fluff, angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, cuddling, everyone in niji is your wingman, implied uki/ren if you squint but it’s mostly because uki will flirt with 80% of the men in this company
cameos: aia amare, alban knox, mika melatika, nina kosaka, ren zotto, uki violeta, vox akuma, fulgur ovid (mentioned)
⚠️ drinking/alcohol (unspecified if reader drinks alcohol)
⚠️ horror/gore mentions (non-detailed), out of context outlast spoilers i guess?
author's commentary here (spoilers) ↣
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
There are dozens of these videos on YouTube, and never have you come across the same one twice. You would know. You have a bad habit of clicking on them.
After all, they’re labeled with your name on them, and right next to it, Ike Eveland. You are smart enough to recognize it’s not worth your time and just another compilation of the same moments and fans trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but your heart says otherwise. To be fair, the compilations were a much more recent development than the one you hid under lock and key.
When you first joined Nijisanji, some of your senpais sent you messages full of greetings and offers to help you get on your feet as a streamer. Ike was one of those senpais, and whenever you popped into voice calls just to hang out, he was easy to talk to, like an old friend. Naturally, a fast friendship formed, and when you debuted, he was one of the first people you collabed with- and the one with the best reception. Your new fans (‘Bookworms,’ they called themselves, after your name Reader) loved how well your humor bounced off each other, and when weeks passed and you announced another collab on your schedule with Ike, your Bookworms rejoiced.
Even when you weren’t working, you would still talk to him. He told you about his homeland in the past and his novels, both released and unpublished. He was a storyteller even when he was talking about something as minute as making a sandwich, and whenever you brought up your past and interests, he was an excellent listener. You had your differences, but he always knew what questions to ask so he could understand you better, and you loved the opportunity to ramble.
It had been nearly three months since you debuted, and four if you count the day you were officially hired and began to build yourself as a streamer. Whenever you look at the endlessly long text history between you and Ike, you have to wonder: is it normal to feel so connected to someone you’ve only known for three-maybe-four months?
You’re not an idiot. You aren’t about to say Ike is the most important thing in the world to you, but he gets pretty damn close. That terrifies you. You shouldn’t be so attached to someone you barely know.
But then again, you trust Ike. He’s opened up to you about things he would never say to others, and he keeps your secrets buried in the grave. You’ve lost count of how much advice he’s given you, but you’ve never forgotten a single one, and whenever you feel lost about something you know you can count on him to help you out.
You grimace, sip out of your drinking glass, and press ‘play’ on the next compilation.
A cute intro plays with the clipper’s name. Above it are the words Pen and Paper, surrounded by puffy pink hearts.
That was the duo name between you and Ike, but "ship name" was more accurate among fanwork.
You weren’t exactly unaware about it. Weeks ago, you were surfing Twitter and the site’s algorithm granted you your introduction into Pen and Paper. This was shortly after your first collab with Ike, and after you established your shipping rules with your audience (“I’m fine with anything, as long as the other liver is okay with it!”, you proclaimed, totally oblivious to how soon that would blow up in your face). The fanartist posted a messy black-and-white sketch, but you could make out the pattern of Ike’s scarf wrapped around you and him at the same time, forcing your bodies into close proximity with averted eyes and dusty blushes.
You appreciated the fanartist’s passion and skill, but the thought of you and Ike as an item sunk in your chest like you swallowed a rock. You swiped past. You went back to your scrolling, found some good thumbnails, and retweeted some cute solo fanart, but before the week ended, you made a private account with a fake name and staked out the tags for Pen and Paper to follow that fanartist.
Damn fanartist. You tried to deny it, and told yourself that you followed their art because you liked the style. But their account was full of ship art, and when Twitter gave you similar users that all worked under the hashtag, you had to face facts. If you wanted to look at it optimistically, at least you figured it out early on before anything had the chance to sour while you were still blissfully ignorant of yourself; even then, that doesn’t make it any harder than it already is.
Besides all the texts, the meetings, the schedules and events, and then including the streams and collabs and the art and the fandom…
“Why?” You ask out loud in the silence of your room. “Why did I have to fall for my coworker?”
And with audiences of over hundreds of people watching you fall for him, nonetheless!
It’s irritating. You have a job that keeps you motivated to work hard. It’s given you a dedicated fanbase, rare opportunities, and coworkers you all recognize as your friends. Really, finding someone to care for because of it should be a blessing, but it’s such a headache. What if your fanbases get jealous, or even worse, outright hate it? Would you be able to keep up a relationship when you and Ike are dedicated to your careers and streams? Why are you even thinking like this? You scold yourself. There’s no way this would ever work out. It’s all fantasy and smoke and mirrors, because fandoms love love. Shipping is never a reflection of the streamers, just the characters you play. You’re delusional if you think your stupid crush could actually go anywhere.
But fandoms love love. The only comfort you have is being able to pretend something could happen. The ship art is a lie, and so are the fanfics, and the clippers that tag their videos as Pen and Paper are just here for a possibility that never could happen.
The compilation is full of little hints and teases, and if you were being honest with yourself, most of it was more like two friends getting along than actual flirting. But you didn’t trust yourself to see your clumsiness for what it is when Ike’s little laughs are like music to your ears.
Damage control, you tell yourself. It’s like studying how you play your favorite games. You can pinpoint where you stumble and leave yourself open for attack in Apex, Smash, even Crab Game, and then amend those mistakes the next time you pick up the game. Real life should be no different. Just stop acting so dorky all the time by finding moments of dork in your VODs and avoid them next time you talk to Ike.
This clip was from your second collab with Ike. Captions floated along the bottom of the screen. Ike's captions were in his signature blue.
IKE: You know, there’s a lot of content about us two as a duo.
READER: They call us Pen and Paper, right?
IKE: Yeah, my art tag is flooded with art of the both of us.
READER: Oh my God, look at the chat. Mine’s full of people saying they love us together.
IKE: Aww, thanks, Quilldren! I’m happy I can play with Reader too.
READER: Thank you, Bookworms; thank you, Quilldren. Hey, there’s a lot more overlap than I expected.
IKE: They’re like Bookdren.
READER: Or Quillworms.
IKE: Quillworms, that sounds way better. They’re like our children.
READER: www
IKE: www
Never fucking mind about acting so dorky all the time. You kick yourself for bringing up Pen and Paper, and your giggly laugh. You hate it. A neon sign above your head that says “SIMP” would be less obvious than that stupid schoolkid laugh.
But Ike’s laughter is music, back in the moment and now as you revisit it, and his model’s eyes squint with a wide smile.
He really is an amazing man. If you didn’t know him as well as you do, you’d think he’s perfect. But you’ve seen him in moments of vulnerability, the parts of himself that never shows through on stream and even rarer among his friends. Through it all he manages to keep going, and you admire him so much for sticking to his guns even when he’s expressed all his doubts about himself. The fact that he trusts you enough to let his guard down only adds to how honored you are to know him, and at the same time, the fact that there’s so much trust between you two just makes you feel worse for having a crush on him. You hate keeping secrets like this when you let Ike read you like an open book for everything else, and even just wishing you were something more to him feels like a betrayal of all that trust. You wish you could just be satisfied to know him.
The compilation continues. The next clip is a totsu Fall Guys collab hosted by Fulgur Ovid that you and Ike joined in on. Fuuchan got eliminated early in the match, and spectated on you while the other livers ran around Roll On with players tugging them this way and that.
You moved around the rotating levels at the perfect sweet spot between two rings, and balanced at the top of the roll as the slime level slowly rose.
A longer wall approached, so you shuffled from one level to another, but another player grabbed your bean avatar and dragged you along to the wall even as you yelled out in panic on Discord. You smashed your keys to struggle, but they had an advantage, and it was clear the wall would push you down to the slime for an impending elimination.
That is, until a familiar Miku bean grabbed the other side of your avatar, and pulled the other way towards the ring that would save your life. Resigned, your attacker backed off and barely dodged out of the way while Ike’s Miku bean brought you back to safety.
The other two livers in the game were too noisy to notice you. Fuuchan was commentating every move you made, and when Ike saved you, he said, “Ike coming in clutch, let’s fucking go.”
Your recorded self didn’t hear him at all, though. You swooned, “Ike, my hero!”
Meanwhile in the present, you wanted to puke. You meant for that to sound like an over-the-top joke, but you crush is getting so serious that it sounds less like a bit and more like how you gush about him in private.
At least Fuuchan’s audio was louder than everyone else, since he was the host, and the other two livers were preoccupied with their own game to notice your lovey-dovey tone and how Ike laughed music at you. It was bad enough clippers transcribed your words in captions, but you weren’t sure how you would handle it if those three picked up on you and your dumb crush. The less that know about your workplace romance, the better.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
“Reader,” Aia coos. Even with audio only, you could tell her eyes were sparkling. “You didn’t tell me you had a workplace romance!”
Well, so much for that plan. You froze over. “Who told you that?”
Mika answers way too quickly. “It’s Alban’s fault.”
“Fuck off, Mika, you brought it up first!”
“You said it though!”
Man, you were already starting to regret joining VC today. You finished your offline work a lot faster than expected, so when you realized that three of your close friends in the company were all online in VC together while Alban privately streamed a rhythm game, you figured you would join the call while you prepared dinner.
But if that was your greeting, you needed to mentally prepare for the wild interrogation you were about to experience. At least Aia, despite her love for drama, knew how to navigate these sorts of things delicately. And you don’t mean to call Mika and Alban bad friends—they were the exact opposite, in fact—but they were much nosier than Aia ever came across.
“Okay, but Reader just asked who leaked it, and didn’t deny it,” Aia says. “So that means it must be true!”
Scratch that. Aia is the worst out of all of them.
“I hate you guys. No hello or anything, just gossip about my love life,” you lament.
She gasps, and if her eyes were sparkling before, then roses bloomed around her as she spoke. “It’s love?”
Mika shrieks like a banshee. “Oh hell no, you’re in love and you didn’t tell us?!”
“It’s not love. It’s nothing!”
“Nah-uh, Reader, no running away from it, we know,” Alban says. “Better to just get it all out in the open than pretend like nothing’s up.”
“You’re just saying that because you want to snoop.”
“I’m being serious. Keeping stuff bottled up deteriorates you, especially when love’s involved.” He missed a note. “Shit. And yeah, okay, I want some gossip, but I have a point and you know it.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you, I blew a full combo just to say that!”
“Can I add? In case you forgot, Reader, we’re all in the same company,” Mika says. “Sure, I might be in a different branch, but who knows? Maybe we can help.”
“And fuck you too.” You sigh in defeat. As vitriolic as your shared humor was, these three were still some of your best friends, and you know they don’t mean any harm. “Ugh, I hate this. This is confidential information. Like, CIA levels of confidential. If I tell you guys, you can’t tell a single soul about it. Understand?”
The three all chime in agreement. And unfortunately, you trust them. You take advantage of your coworkers swearing themselves to secrecy to hype yourself up and just rip off the band-aid. “It’s Ike.”
“We know.”
“What the hell do you mean, you know?!”
“It’s obvious,” Aia says. Your heart hammers in your chest. Then she sputters for a moment, like she realized she might’ve hit a soft spot. “Well, you have to focus on it to see it, but once you see it, it’s hard to ignore. You two go well together.”
Alban pitches in. “Agreed. I’m not even gonna be subtle about it, you and Ike have great chemistry. I’m happy for you two.”
“Okay, I guess.” Your eyes drift away from your prepared ingredients to the corner of your kitchen. “But I don’t know. Are you sure? Because I feel like I always act like an idiot whenever I’m around him. And I doubt he’d ever feel the same way.”
“Wait.” Aia pauses. “You’re… not dating?”
“No. Just a crush. Not love, not dating, nothing. And it’s never going to be anything more than that because it’s just a big stupid crush on my coworker, who doesn’t even live close enough to visit, and this is all a recipe for disaster.”
She doesn’t say anything about that. Actually, none of them do. Even Alban pressed pause on his game, and the Discord stream went motionless as your words sunk in.
Mika is the one to break the silence. “You’re shitting me.”
“That’s the truth. Happy?”
“No, like, you’re shitting me, there’s no way.”
“Mikaaa.” Alban drags out her name as he scolds her.
“Hey, I’m just saying, that’s crazy, especially since—“
“Don’t tell Reader that!”
“Tell me what?”
“We thought you were already a thing. You know, dating, in a relationship, whatever,” Mika clarifies. It hits you like a punch to the gut. “Or at least that you had something going on, and kept it secret so it wouldn’t be awkward for everyone else to work with you two. Which, by the way, we’re all chill with, so if, hypothetically, you decided to hypothetically go for it, we would hypothetically cheer you on and set off hypothetical fireworks. I’d rent a food truck.”
Alban resumes his game. “Yeah, what she said. Go get that hypothetical novelist bussy.”
“Don’t hypothetically talk about my brother like that.”
“You’re sure this is okay?” You ask. “Mika, I know you and Ike are close. This isn’t going to make anything weird, is it?”
“You’re fine, Reader. If I had problems, I would’ve cornered you and threatened you over text ages ago when I figured it out.”
“That’s another thing. How did you guys know?”
Aia pipes up first. “I know I said it was obvious, but I think that’s just because we know each other since we’re good friends. You two just go together, you know? It’s hard to explain, but whenever Reader and Ike-senpai are in the same room you think, ‘those two would be cute,’ and then you realize they are cute, right there in the moment. And you talk a lot faster on stream whenever you’re both on the same page. Almost as fast as me.”
“Plus, it’s really common to see both of you on VC at the same time, and you’re always happy whenever he shows up,” Mika affirms. “Alban says whenever one of you enters the call the other is soon to follow.”
“It’s true. You talk fast whenever you talk to him on VC too, not just stream. And your laugh kind of changes?”
“Dammit, I knew my laugh was my tell. This sucks. This seriously sucks.”
“It might not be all that bad,” Mika says. “Who knows, maybe things might end up better than you expect. You should tell him.”
“No way,” you fire back. “There no way he’d actually reciprocate. And I know you guys are fine with me asking, but Ike himself is just going to reject me, and it’s going to be awkward, and literally everyone in the company who has ever talked to us will be able to tell something’s up.”
“They won’t be weird,” Aia insists. “We won’t, either, and Ike-senpai is a good guy. Even if it doesn’t work out, he wouldn’t leave you out to dry like that.”
“You don’t know. None of you have ever been in this situation.”
“That’s true, but there’s always a chance.”
“If you ask me, it sounds more like you’re afraid of what you think would happen instead of what rationally would,” Alban says. He’s still laser-focused on his game. “I dunno. If you’re really set on getting over it, then go ahead and ignore it, but that’s just going to eat at you for who knows how long before your crush starts to fade.”
“Well, I didn’t ask.”
“Fine. Forget I said anything.”
You regret the acidic tone in your voice the second you said it, but Alban was off in his own world of music. He’d tell you if he had a problem with how you spoke to him, but you still feel gross about your knee-jerk reaction.
You’re just… defensive. Yep, that’s the word. Whenever you’re this interested in someone, you put your walls up and protect yourself from letting anyone worm through and hit a weak point.
Aia hums like an analyst. “Just keep it in mind, Reader. Not everything is out to get you.”
You know your friends just wanted the best for you, but things just aren’t as simple as they’d like to imagine it. It’s none of their business, anyways. It was pure coincidence that they figured out your thoughts on Ike, and that means none of them have any real authority to advise you on your love life.
“I think we’re done talking about this,” you assert.
“Well, you heard ‘em. Pack it up, show’s over.” Mika changed the subject. “Hey, did you guys know if you try to break open a freshly boiled egg, it explodes?”
Alban slams his hands on his keyboard so loudly that you hear the switches over his noise suppression. The stream goes from a string of Awesome! notes to nothing but misses as he abandons the game. “YES. Yes, actually, I DO know.”
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
“MEAT! WANTS MEAT! WANTS MEAT! MEAT!”
“AAAAAAAAHHHH!”
The stream is to the birds. Fuck that noise. Godspeed to the Bookworms, they’ll need it, but not nearly as much as you.
When you were settling on a schedule, the last undecided spot for the week was Friday’s stream. That simply wouldn’t do. Friday nights kick off the weekend, and the break from school and work is prime time for a wide audience, so pretty much everyone in Nijisanji reserves their juiciest streams for the weekend. You’re no exception.
…Except for the fact that you didn’t have a clue about what to do for Friday’s stream. One Twitter poll and conveniently timed Steam sale later, you published your schedule with a game your fans voted on: Outlast.
You walked in knowing it would be a horror game, and you figured it would be fine. After all, you’ve played games from Chilla’s Art before, and a few quirky indie psychological releases here and there. You wouldn’t call yourself a stone-faced horror lover that can keep a straight face at anything, but aside from a few creepy moments in those game, you’ve kept your cool relatively well.
Outlast threw all that out the window. You realized almost immediately that you had no idea how to handle the primal fear of the chase.
Footsteps pound against a metal floor. You plead for help in the emptiness of your home as you smash the controls, as if that would make your character move the cabinet over the door any faster. Screams resonate in tune between you and the chained man in the room with you, and all the while, the howling of your pursuer grows louder and louder as he gets closer.
You finally uncover the door and dash through. Tremors run though all your thoughts while your heart beats overtime.
You still haven’t gotten used to all the jumpscares, even though you’re at the edge of your seat and ready to start running yourself. A fork in the road approaches, and when you start off one direction, you’re greeted by a bloodied man in the distance. “AAAHH!”
Faster than light, you slam the key to the other hall and book it. You spot a new storage container to shove in front of the door just in time for text to appear on the screen: Look for pushable objects to block doors.
“No shit, why wouldn’t you tell me that before, oh my God, aaaaah!” The screams—from both the voice actors and your own cries—grate against your eardrums while chase music thunders in-between the gasps for air.
As you grab the container and start to push, you mash the pause button. When the menu appears, you lean back in your chair and run your hands over your face. Your model pouts cutely while the real you whimpers. The mic barely picks it up.
You take a breath before groaning in fear and pain. “Guys. I don’t think I can do this…” Another groan as you trail off. “This game is so much. Give me a second.”
As you raise yourself back from your chair, it’s with a slump forward. Your chat is full of headpat emotes and hearts in your color, along with some quick words of courage. A few are recommending you take a break. “Thanks, Bookworms. I’m so afraid, but I’m committed and I don’t want to just leave it here.”
Your eyes flutter closed as you take a sip of water to clear your head. The cold drink startles you out of the dingy asylum atmosphere, but the screaming still lingers between your ears. “You know what? Who else is online right now? Maybe I need someone in VC to hold me to this.”
The emojis in chat slowly patter out as your viewers go back to text. Looks like most of your Bookworms like the idea of calling someone else while you stream the game. Some of their messages catch your eye.
gatamiizuus: you can call ike :ReaderHeadpat:
messXed-up!: ike!!
lunasmortas: what about ike?
A few more chats mention Ike, and while usually you’d be irritated they mentioned another liver out of the blue, your shoulders still relax at the sight of his name. “Wait, Ike? Is Ike here?”
You scroll back in the chat history, and search for any mod messages. Sure enough, barely a minute ago while you were still being chased:
Ike Eveland 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : GANBARE!
You cling onto that message like a lifeline. Ike is familiar. Ike is comforting. And most importantly, Ike would never call you a pussy.
Chat floods over with his name while you check the official Nijisanji Discord server. Almost everyone in Nijisanji sets their status to offline by default, and Ike is one of them, but you still scan through the member list anyways, praying a little green indicator will light up by his icon.
His status doesn’t change, but before you can even click on his profile, your Direct Messages tab gains a notification. He just messaged you.
Ike Eveland: Watching your stream right now
Ike Eveland: Are you okay?
You exhale. Ike is the most dependable guy you know, even when it’s pure coincidence he was watching your stream while you freaked out.
With your heart still in your throat, you respond.
Me: uuuuuuugh i guess
Me: the game is really scary
Me: i don’t want to cancel the stream but i don’t think i can play it by myself 😭
Ike Eveland: 🫂 | 🫂 1 |
Ike Eveland: Would you feel better if I called you?
Me: i was just about to ask | 👌 1 |
Me: you don’t have to if you don’t want to tho!! i don’t want to be a nuisance lol
Ike Eveland: Don’t worry I offered to!
Ike Eveland started a voice call.
“Ikeee!” The second the call starts, all your restraint goes forgotten. “Ike, I was so scared!”
You babble on about everything you’ve endured up to this point: the gore, the grime, and the patients in the asylum that hunt you like animals.
“I’m here, it’s alright now,” he assures you. “I’m here, okay? Take your time, you’re safe.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m relieved. But it was so scary.” You sink and bury yourself in the collar of your shirt. “You’ve streamed this before, and kept a cool head the entire time, right? How do you do it?”
“Well, it wasn’t my first time playing, for starters. Everyone gets freaked out at first. It’s a horror game, Reader, it’s okay to react to it. I remember the first time I played it, it scared me so bad I had to quit after half an hour.” He giggles a bit at himself. The sound is comforting. “That was a few years ago. I think I had nightmares about it, until I realized I needed to know the rest of the story. ”
Your voice is small. “That was really brave of you.”
“I avoided it for days. I doubt that’s brave.”
“It’s braver than calling someone just to get the guts to play the game.”
“Hey, don’t put my friend Reader down just to bring me up.” He keeps his tone light to let you know you’re allowed to smile. “Being able to face your fears is plenty on its own, and you shouldn’t be devaluing that. How long have you been at it?”
“A little over two hours?” You glance at the stream monitor, and ignore the chat as much as you can. You still register the hearts in your color and his signature blue. “I don’t know. I did a lot of pausing, too, so it’s probably less than that…”
“But you were still able to stream for that long. Remember, I could only play for thirty minutes during my first time! You’re stronger than you think you are.”
You avert your eyes from your stream setup. You feel painfully seen, but the chat is nothing to you. “Doesn’t feel like it.”
“Then I’ll be here to remind you. Is that okay?”
“I’d like that.” You return to the screen, and in the darkness of the blurred labyrinth, you see your reflection stare back. Your hair is disheveled from how you kept thrashing around in reaction to the game and your shoulders are high with tension, but only now did you realize how the corners of your lips rose after the call started. Ike really got to you. “Thank you, Ike, you’re so considerate. I appreciate you a lot. You’re a really good guy.”
He chuckles slowly, soft like a blanket. Your shoulders ease. Ike’s words are just as soft, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s nervous too. “Haha, um. Yeah. Thank you?” He doesn’t take compliments well, but they’re true, and you hope he knows it as well as you do. He clears his throat. “Ahem. Um, how are you feeling?”
“Not great, but better. I want to try again.”
“You’ve got this, Reader, you can do it.” Ike is still quiet, but enthusiastic. “You can do it!”
You go shaky. “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.”
But you still press Return To Game.
And when you scream barely five seconds later, Ike is still calm, and you hone in on his voice as you persevere.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
Just as you go to bed, you realize that you basically just made a fool of yourself in front of your crush by getting scared at a game he’s already conquered.
You slam a pillow over your face and groan.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
Ike lands an all-out attack just in time to check the chat and the swarm of viewers that just joined. “Oh, Reader! Thank you for the raid, it’s good to see you! Welcome, everybody.”
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : take care of my bookworms for me? i’m getting milk
“Of course. They’re our Quillworms, after all.” You go fuzzy. He remembered the fan name! “Have a good break, Reader! Rest well.”
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 👍
It was the end of the week, and the stream you just finished was the last on your schedule. You announced a few days ago that you would take a break for a little more than two weeks so you could catch up on offline work as well as rest, and the Bookworms sent you off with a lot of love. It’ll be hard for some of your diehard fans, but you’re sure they’ll manage. You have a feeling it’ll be easier than they expect.
“Speaking of breaks, I haven’t finished my schedule yet. I think I’ll wait a day or two to post it.” The stream cracks in red and black as Ike’s party in Persona 5 Royal clobbers the enemy Shadows. Monsters bleed out behind the protagonist’s cocky smirk. “I’ll be offline for the next two days, so I’ll have some time to think about it.”
Ike mashes through the battle results, and sets back off into exploring the palace. His stream fades into background noise as you get back to the task at hand.
You sent a few messages to some of your other coworkers regarding your break. Next was finishing some paperwork for management, and reaching out to others that needed access to the files. Sure, your time off was for offline work, but the work you had to get done would only take an afternoon at most. You wanted to meet even the far-off deadlines as soon as possible so you could be properly free for the rest of your vacation.
By the time you finished your paperwork, your coworkers were able to respond to you. A group chat full of other livers had a new response every minute about the next two weeks, and Aia sent you a QR code that would let you save some time and money on your flight.
Ike ended yet another super-long P5R stream just a few minutes after you grabbed all your luggage, got to the airport, and made it to your terminal. You had some time to kill, but you were sick of the headphones over your ears.
Not to mention, you were waiting for the fans to catch up on the real reason why you were on break.
Curiously, you log into your private Twitter—you don’t plan to interact with anything but you’re always paranoid about your online presence—and start searching for the code words fans think Vtubers have no idea about. Symbols replace letters and names morph into sounds while emojis speak volumes.
The Stargazers don’t mention it at all. That’s to be expected, after all. Their oshi goes on break often, so nothing seems too out of the ordinary. Besides, you wouldn’t put it past them to have even more intricate subtweets than what you’re looking for.
Only a few of Nina’s Honeybunnies put the pieces together at first, but then you check Quilldren subtweets. As it turns out, when Ike mentioned he’d be taking a few days off, a few of his fans noticed how Nina was going to be offline at the same time, and a smaller fraction of those compared how Mika had yet to release a schedule.
Underneath your face mask, you smile. With the career being dependent on both anonymity and your voice, you wore a nondescript black mask through the entire airport in case someone recognized you, just as well as to hide the tiny giggle that always bubbles up whenever you watch your fans scramble around theorizing. They don’t have all the pieces, after all. None of the Aiadmirers nor the Renvaders even considered it.
They’ll figure it out in time nonetheless. Uki and Nina are close to landing, and Aia was the first to disembark her plane. The rest of your friends are set to arrive after you, and besides, Vox should be ending his last stream of the week right now. You’re sure the Kindred will start plotting in the next hour, provided their oshi didn’t give them too big of a hint about his plans for the next week as he’s known to do.
You board your plane and settle into your seat, ready to nap the flight away. You’ll need the rest, after all. It’s about time you join an off-collab.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
Nina doesn’t even get the chance to look away from her phone before she gets a rush of replies on her first voice tweet.
She doesn’t bother to read them anyways. She’s too busy howling out the lyrics to “Wannabe.”
It’ll be hard to discern all the voices. Ike’s high range is always easy to pick out, but Vox blends in as a bass, and you can always hear Mika’s grin through her singing. Ren and Aia are the furthest from the phone, and as loud as they sing, they’re still drowned out along with you, Uki, and Nina herself.
Mika chooses the wrong time to look around the karaoke booth. While Aia sings passionately about what she wants (what she really, really wants), her body language crumples and rises like an electrocuted high school theater kid. The ghost has a hiccuping, sweeping laugh that overpowers half of the singers, and then Aia snorts at herself when Mika covers her mouth, which gets Vox to snort even louder, and before you know it, it’s just Uki and Nina doing their damndest not to break. Even then, Nina’s voice wavers along to the Spice Girls as she resists a laugh, and Uki’s eyes are squeezed shut smiling.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
The bar stool slides out from the counter so quietly that you wonder if the Airbnb owner knew just how handy it would be for a house full of streamers on vacation. You lean forward while Mika tells a story about how she, Aia, Ren and you went out for a coffee run, and crossed paths with some teenagers with matching Iluna keychains on their backpacks.
Speaking of Iluna, their represents sat together on the couch. Aia set her plate and fork on the coffee table, not a single pool of sauce left over from the pasta dinner Vox and Uki prepared together. Somehow Ren made enough room in his luggage to bring along a teal ukulele, and idly strums along. Uki sits between Ren and the armrest, swirling the last of his pasta between his fork.
Across from them, Vox and Nina took ownership of two plush chairs that could only fit one person each. Each chair was next to a corner table, and they stacked their plates on top of one another to make room for a jug of orange juice and two cocktail glasses. Ike took a bottle of rum and poured it into his soda, then slid it back to the corner table before pulling up the bar stool next to you.
“It was like, one of them had a clear phone case and held it out to show the others a video,” Mika says. She perched on top of the counter itself, next to her travel microphone and the second-nastiest kitchen stream setup you’ve ever seen. She was no Scarle, but so many wires stretched across the island and along the way that it was just easier for her to climb onto the polished granite to keep an eye on the chat. “Smack-dab in the center was a PNG of Vox. And then a bunch of tinier Voxes around it. And here’s how you know it’s bad, you could see the color of the phone itself through the case because it’s clear, right? It was red. Red! That’s commitment!”
“I’m telling you, Mika, there’s no way they got a red phone just because of Vox,” Aia says. “That’s got to be a coincidence.”
Vox hums into his glass. “No, they absolutely did. You mean to tell me your fans don’t spoil you rotten and buy new phones just because they’re your color?”
“My color is white, Vox, like every phone ever is my color!”
“Still, I’ve never seen Aia go so quiet so fast.” Ren’s ukulele twangs as he grins. His fangs were just as prominent in real life. “It was awesome.”
“It was scary, but funny,” you say. “We saw the Vox case and the Iluna keychains, and all of us just went silent. And we all had masks, too, so it was like, one moment you could hear Ren’s fuckboy laugh, and the second we saw the case, we all put up our masks and went quieter than the grave.”
Ren palms the neck of the ukulele and mutes the chord in mock offense. “Hey! I’m not a fuckboy!”
“Didn’t say you were, but if you want to out yourself like that, be my guest. They’d chop off your horns and sell them like Kyo.”
“One of them had an Aster keychain.” Ren bitterly resumes playing. Uki sets his plate on the table and drapes himself over the alien’s shoulder as he opened up his phone to check the off-collab’s live tag. The stream was supposed to be a live Q&A, but was so easy to talk to everyone that the questions often turned into conversation before someone remembered the stream. “If Aia or I said anything, we’d be fucked.”
“Imagine how fucked we would’ve been if Vox woke up in time to go with us,” you say.
Ike snickers. “Is it bad that I would’ve paid money to see that?”
The two Luxiem members get into a playful argument over who would win in a fight: all the effort Nijisanji and its employees put into protecting their privacy, or one silly phone case. Ren’s riffing turns into a simple rendition of “Iris” and Nina hums along from across the living room. The ukulele is slow and unique enough to not be mistaken for the original, but you wonder if those two would be able to avoid copyright entirely.
Nonetheless, the vibe is comfortable. You’re miles away from home, but in a room with some of your closest friends in the world, it’s like you never left. Truthfully, it’s more like you’ve finally found your place. The music just feels right, like it was written for this moment, and Aia leans back into the couch while Nina sways in her seat to the jaunty little ukulele. Ren looks as cheery as his instrument sounds, especially with a peaceful Uki nuzzled up to him.
While Ike and Vox go at it, Mika props her chin up with both hands and watches them like a reality TV show. There’s a glint in Vox’s eyes as Ike drums up a snide response, the only sane man to the demon’s goofiness. He brings his rum and coke to his lips like punctuation, a silent so, what? hidden in the boozy soda.
Vox knows how to run his mouth, and he launches into one of his patented anecdotes. While all eyes are on the demon and the chat hones in on his voice, you focus on how Ike tilts his head up to drink. His neck stretches out from the collar of his black band tee, and with each sip, his Adam’s apple bobs.
You’ve always thought he was good-looking on stream, but he’s gorgeous in person, all long lines and graceful features, and cameras can’t capture the tiny little freckles drizzled down the back of his neck. You didn’t even know he had freckles. It was only after you saw him for the first time that you noticed pale, reddish dots all over his nose and cheeks, fading out by his temples and the arch of his lips. Spending the day walking around in the sun from place to place revealed more whenever the wind flicked his jacket collar out right. They scatter at his nape, right below the blue tips of his hair, and meet one another further down his back, or so you’d presume. Without the jacket, you can catch marks spread out along his arms with distance between one another, and his shirt sleeve starts right where the freckles cluster together. You can only imagine how far down they go.
You avert your eyes. You can’t think about what’s under the shirt when you’re sitting right next to him, and certainly not while on stream, even if chat can’t see you check him out!
Unfortunately, the side opposite of Ike is the one with Ren and Uki. Those two are idyllic. Without a care in the world, it seems. You envy how easily Uki can act on what he wants, even if you know he doesn’t see Ren like how you see Ike. Ren doesn’t mind it at all, either. He literally lives by the rhythm of his own ukulele.
Ike lowers his drink with his eyes closed, as if it would make the refreshing feeling last longer. His eyelashes are the same ashen color as his hair. Gold gleams between his ears and on the chain of his glasses.
Possessed by the music, and distracted by the rambling, you become one with the background and lean along Ike’s arm.
It’s an indulgent dip into the waters, but shallow compared to all you feel for him. Ever since you met Ike in person it’s been easier to control yourself around him, and if anything, you’re reminded that this is the man you’ve gotten the closest to in both career and friendship. The only barrier between your cheek and his body is his shirt sleeve, but your arm rests against his forearm, right where the freckles taper off. There’s no resistance at all as you make yourself comfortable in the crook of his arm.
But you hold yourself back. Even though the off-collab made you feel gutsier than before, you think that you’d pass out if you tried anything else. Besides, you feel so at peace against his arm, but too afraid to look up and see his reaction.
The blend of peace and fear churns in your heart as it dawns on you: you were wrong to call this a crush. It runs far deeper than you could’ve imagined.
Vox says something with finality. His voice snaps you out of your thoughts, but the words go unregistered. As he spoke, his eyes drifted around with his body language, but he snaps to look at Ike expectantly. You swear his smirk gets a little more mischievous as he does.
The air stills, even though you know eyes aren’t on you, just the man you lean on. It stays frozen as Ike waits to respond. You still don’t have the heart to look up at him and break your selfish, unrequited fantasy.
You just want to stay here, unresisted.
Ike deadpans. “Anyways.”
Just like that, the moment is over, and Mika laughing at Vox striking out clears the air around you. But Vox’s eyes fall to you for just a split second as he moves in his seat. Frost settles down your back at the thought that he knows, but there’s a solid chance he hasn’t connected the dots. You pray he hasn’t.
Then you see Fox Mom herself right behind him, and she shoots you a shit-eating grin with a hand over her heart and a glass in the other.
No doubt about it. You’re screwed.
The frost turns to glaciers and burns into hot shame all at once. You love Nina, you really do, and you’d always consider her a good friend before coworker. However, she’s known for fishing around for any crumb of fanservice, and she gets straight to the point whenever she eggs it on, not to mention how she loves to tease her kids on just about anything. You are never going to hear the end of this if she can help it.
You really don’t know what you expected. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, even the chat. You can’t help but feel bitter. How come Uki can flirt with as many guys as he wants, you wonder, but I can’t even touch Ike without getting eyed up?
You know the answer, but it doesn’t do anything to help the bitterness and the embarrassment, and how much you want to hide. On instinct, you take advantage of the warmth and nestle yourself deeper into Ike to hide your face, just in time as he curls his head above yours.
Nina makes a sound kind of like a fork stuck in the garbage disposal for the briefest of moments before smashing her lips together and bringing her glass to her mouth like a mute button. As if you didn’t feel seen enough.
“Find any other questions, Uki-senpai?” Aia’s nose is buried in her phone, and God, you could kiss her for changing the subject. As much as she poked fun about you about Ike, she was still a total angel and a ride-or-die all at once.
“Oh, I have questions,” Uki says. Luckily, he’s graceful enough to leave it at that. “Twitter wants to know first impressions for everyone that hasn’t off-collabed before.”
Ren speaks. “I think the only person I’ve done an off-collab with before is Nina, so is it cool if I go first?”
Aia gestures for him to go on. She’s still stuck on her phone as he continues.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, but you ignore it. Then again and again and again, and when you finally check it, you understand why. When Aia, Mika and Alban first heard you spill your feelings for Ike, they made a group chat dedicated to wingmanning—or at least, that’s what they pitched it as. They tease you more than anything else, and as irritating as it gets… you have to admit, it’s nice to confide in them, and nice to know they wouldn’t hold it against you.
Anyways, Alban’s going apeshit.
Group Chat: 💙 PENANDPAPER REAL 2K4EVER 💕 (4 Members)
Aia Amare: image.png | 📌 2 |
Alban Knox: AKDHSLSJDKSHSA
Alban Knox: AASDFSDF
Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAA
Alban Knox: HAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA KYAAAAAAAA
Alban Knox: 💕💕💕💙💕💙💕💙💙💙💕💙💕💕💙
Alban Knox: 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Alban Knox: HOW ARE YOU GUYSS NOT LOSING YUOR MINDSA BOUT THIS
Aia Amare: I AM
Me: omfg did you seriously get a picture of us
Alban Knox: WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGG DONT CHDCK THIS GC | 👆 1 |
Me: wtf did you expect you’re spamming
Alban Knox: YOU AR ELITERALLY CUDDLNG GO FOCUS ON THAY JOT US
Me: we are not cuddling
Alban Knox: YOU ARE
Aia Amare: YOU ARE
Mika Melatika pinned a message. | 🖕 1 |
Me: mika wth you too? 😭
Mika Melatika: image.png
Me: did you srsly take a selfie with us in the background
Mika Melatika: YES this needs to be immortalized
Me: you people suck | 🥰 3 |
Alban Knox: GET THAT NOVELIST BUSSY!!!!
Aia Amare: As if you aren’t about to save that picture yourself~
Alban Knox: NOVELUSSY!!!!!!!!!
Fuck, she got you there. You cast a pointed look at the angelic maiden herself, or at least as pointed as you can be with a man you’re scared to love wrapped around you. She looks as satisfied as a cat pushing a glass off a counter.
You set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and placed it behind you on the counter with a huff.
“Reader, honey, how about you?” Nina leans forward, half-lidded and as sultry as ever. She swirled her drink around in its glass. “It’s your first off-collab ever, right? I’d love to hear what you have to say.”
“Oh, well, um.” Your brain struggles to catch up. “First impressions, right…”
Aia slips you a thumbs up. You’re going to rip her a new one after this. Her, and Mika, and definitely Nina; this is the most subtle Nina’s ever been but you can tell she’s fishing for an answer here. You can take your friends figuring it out, embarrassing as it is, but you are not about to expose yourself to thousands of live viewers.
“It’s kind of crazy actually meeting up with everyone,” you start. “I’ve known them for so long, but all online, and being able to match the voice to the face in real life, I don’t think I can actually describe it. It’s kind of surreal, but it feels so nice to just talk to them in person. Aia, Nina and Uki were the first people I met up with, and man, those three are a sight. I know everyone says it, but Uki is absolutely the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Nina and Aia are really pretty, too. Hey, Aiadmirers, did you know when your oshi laughs, she looks just as cute as she sounds?”
Aia yells. “Reader, shut up!”
“Then stop being so cute all the time, you dork!”
“I’m not a dork! I’m cool!”
You resume, satisfied with your revenge. “Mika and Vox are both really chill. They’re kind of quiet, so if you’re just walking by, you’d think they’re two normal people just going about their days. But whenever we talk it’s always something insane. Vox sounds like a dignified gentleman and Mika is kind of like that cool girl that you want to be friends with, but if you actually pay attention, Mika’s showing Vox a picture of her insides during surgery while he’s reciting something about the Bite of ‘87. And Ren is probably one of the most straightforward people you’ll ever see. He’s so optimistic, and really expressive, too, even though most of the expressions are all different types of smiles.”
“What’s your impression of Ike?” Nina asks.
What does she expect you to say to that one, that screens can’t capture how the sun glitters through his glassy green eyes? Hearing him say your name in-person sends shockwaves through your body? How you want to kiss every little freckle he’s never mentioned before and keeps hidden under long sleeves, even though it’s the beautiful skin he lives in daily?
“Same old Ike. He’s exactly like how I expected,” you say. A total fib.
She cocks her head. “Really? Even after all the time you’ve spent together?”
“I’m trying to hang out with everyone.”
“You haven’t answered my question.”
Cornered. Nina takes a long, slow drink from her glass as you scramble for a quick answer that won’t immediately out you. “Whenever I talk to Ike, he’s really emotive. You can tell what he’s thinking before he says anything. He also has a good sense of style, so he’s fun to go shopping with, and honestly, fun to do anything with. He’s someone you can always have a good time with, and always makes you feel so comfortable around him. Ike’s magnetic.”
Mika muffles a coo behind you. You’re going to kill her if you survive this stream.
“That’s very sweet, Reader,” Nina replies. “Hear that, Ike?”
“Yes, I did.” He sounds strained.
“Got any feelings about it?”
“Yes? I mean—er, thanks?” You feel Ike’s head rustle. “I, umm. What am I supposed to say about that?”
“I don’t know. I just think that about you, that’s all…”
“Aww, cute. I love that you love each other,” Nina muses.
Ike spits out, “It’s not like that!” Just as you admit, “Yeah, I guess so.”
You process his words too late, though, and even as you sputter the ukulele music cuts out just in time with Nina and Mika’s unfiltered fangirl squeals. Ren’s palms mute the chord as his eyes go wide. Aia is already on her phone with her jaw to the floor and Uki throws a look at Nina while he mouths, did that just happen?
“I-I mean!” Your throat goes dry and Ike lurches away from you when Vox gleefully shakes Nina like a rag doll. “I—wh—Ike, I mean, of course I love you—“ Mika screams again— “As a friend!”
When you turn to face Ike, he’s curled up into a ball on the barstool with his shirt collar over his face. Even as you feel the blood rush to your face, you keep shouting. That’s all you have left. You’re live. “Like, we’re best friends on and off stream and I love you!”
He mutters something, but you can’t tell what. Only his neck and the tips of his ears poke out from his shirt. Were they always that red?
You repeat yourself. “I said, we’re best friends and I love you, so much!”
“And I said, I know, thank you, I love you too, Reader!” Ike jerks out to face you as he cries. He looks like a tomato.
Then he buries his face into his hands and squeaks like how he always does when something’s too cute to handle, or he’s got too many emotions he needs to let out. “You can’t see me, I’m too embarrassed. I’m hiding forever and I’m never coming out.”
You hope the ground swallows you up and you never have to confront this moment again.
Uki hisses under his breath and muffles Ren's ukulele. You don't know what he said, but you realize all too late that the alien prince himself was laying down the first few notes of “Fly Me To The Moon.”
While you slump and fold your arms over your face on the counter in pure embarrassment, Aia stands up and commandeers the mic. She slaps a hand over Mika’s mouth to muffle the scream. “Man, bummer that Ike-senpai is gone from us forever, but you know what else might be gone forever if you don’t get it now? The sponsor for this stream, our current limited-edition Nijisanji voice packs!”
And as much as you could kiss her yet again for changing the subject, you can’t get over how everything blew up in the last five minutes, and groan into your arms instead.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
The stream passed, luckily, without a hitch after that. No one asked any questions, but it was pretty damn clear everyone in the room had an idea of what just happened, and the impending shitstorm. In fact, it was so clear that when you stalked off to your room to sulk, no one made a fuss, and when you realized ten minutes into your sulking session that you left your phone on the counter, you figured it wasn’t worth it to show your face again until after you finished your pity party.
The entire time, you laid in your bed with a pillow over your face so you could pretend like you were being absorbed into the sweet embrace of death. Overdramatic, sure, but you figured you were justified.
Without your phone, you had no way to check exactly how bad the fallout was on Twitter. The poor Pen and Paper tags were sure to be flooded with fans imagining a happy ending to that stint you’d never be able to experience yourself, like salt in the wound. Not to mention, it was a huge seven-person off-collab! It didn’t just end with the Pen and Paper fans. No, it would extend past the Bookworms and the Quilldren, and certainly to the rest of the fandoms with an oshi in this Airbnb. Maybe even the offshoot viewers who don’t regularly watch your content, but made an exception for the off-collab, or, you know, the ones who have no idea who you or Ike are but can’t get enough of the whole accidental-confession-live-on-stream thing. Forget Nina; the entire Vtuber community is never, ever, ever going to live this down.
Ike sounded so distraught, too. You wanted to kick yourself for it. Not only did you make a fool of yourself, but he got caught in the crossfire just because you didn’t catch yourself slipping. Not like he’d reciprocate anyways. He’s always been bad at taking compliments, but you keep thinking about how embarrassed he was about you loving him.
All your frustration and humiliation coursed through the darkness under your pillow, and you stew so bitterly that you don’t even dream when you fall asleep.
You just wake up groggy and exhausted, but too restless to go back to sleep. You look out the window, and the stars have barely come out to play in the early night sky.
As much as you’d hate to admit it, that impromptu nap made you tired of brooding. Besides, you can’t hide from your friends forever. Hopelessly in love or not, they’re still your friends, and even if you decided to stream during the trip, this off-collab was always about spending time with them instead of worrying over your online presence.
It takes you half an hour to hype yourself up, but eventually, you open your door and step out into the hall.
You can already hear voices further away in the Airbnb. You place one of them as Nina, and after her, a baritone that could only belong to Vox.
“…Fuck Twitter, they’re going to forget about it in two weeks or less anyways.” You overhear as you walk down the hall of rooms and closer to the living room. You’ve heard Vox passionate before, but never this serious as well. “Besides, what exactly did they say?”
A mumble. You can’t place the words, but you bristle when you recognize the voice. That’s unmistakably Ike.
“See? Again, I’m so sorry. I was out of line, and I forgot my place. I shouldn’t have interrogated them like that,” Nina says. “But you’re overthinking what they said.”
Another mumble. By now, you’re in the kitchen. You lift your phone from where you left it, and hold your fingers over the half of the screen where your notifications appear as you check the time. It’s barely 11 PM.
The kitchen and living room are connected, with plenty of seating space all around. That was why Mika’s travel laptop was still on the counter and plugged into the wall from the stream earlier, but on the other side of the wall from the kitchen, you noticed an open window and silhouettes from it. Four people sat on the shallow roof overlooking the uneven ground plenty of feet under the building. A pair of fox ears twitch at the night wind as they watched the stars grow brighter in the sky.
You look through the fridge. You’re peckish, but if you were to be honest with yourself, you’re trying to stay quiet for a reason.
There’s a huff. “Oh my god, dude. Just tell Reader already.”
You stand up a little straighter. Mika was with them? Were they talking about you?
“There’s nothing to be said, Mika!” Ike huffs back. “I’m screwed anyways. Just drop it, okay? I don’t need this getting in the way of what was supposed to be just a normal trip.”
“You can’t keep running away forever. Just act like an adult and tell them. It’s going to be fine, I swear.”
“And how exactly do you know that?”
“Well…” Mika trails off. “I can’t say. I just know, okay?”
“Uh-huh. And I know I’m screwed.” The wind rustles outside. You stay motionless. “Just two weeks. Can I please just have two weeks where I don’t have to worry about this until the trip is over.”
It’s a question, but he says it with such exasperation that no one can consider any other answers.
“Fine.” Nina relinquishes. “Have it your way. I’m just worried for you two.”
“It’s going to work out, Ike. But I’m tired.” Vox stifles a yawn. “Tomorrow is going to be better. Let it go for the night and come back to it once you’re in better shape, and just remember. It’s going to work out.”
“Thanks, Vox.”
“Now get in here.”
You hear shuffling fabric before the two men start yelling. Vox cackles while Ike cries through gritted teeth. “Dang it, Vox, I’m going to shove you off this roof!”
“Get ruffled, idiot! That’s your fault for trusting me!”
“I just wanted a hug!”
You snicker under your breath. Vox loves to ruffle Ike’s hair despite the latter’s protests, though he tends to accept it instead of shove him off like anyone else that would dare. Besides, as dreary as Ike sounded during that conversation, he nearly sounded like his old self as Vox and the others laughed.
“I think I’ll go too. Mommy needs her beauty sleep.”
“Mm, I’m still pretty awake. Wanna keep looking at the sky with me, Ike?”
“Sure. Here, Nina, let me move out of the way…”
Shuffling turns to footsteps, and brings you back to reality. You busy yourself looking through the paltry groceries.
The sound of footsteps gets louder and louder, until they become a hollow click on the hardwood floor. Nina crawls through the window, but stops in her tracks with a startled noise.
You turn around and nod as casually as possible. “Oh, hey, Nina.”
Vox is also halfway through the window, and his eyes go comically wide as he forgets how to move. “Oh. Hey. Reader. Fancy seeing you here.”
“Yeah! Um!” Nina coughs long enough to make you uncomfortable. “What are you doing here?”
“Took a nap. Got hungry.” It’s not a lie. You grope around in the fridge and breathe a sigh of relief when you see a stick of string cheese in your hands. “You guys just hanging out?”
Nina nods. “Yeah, we were on the roof. It’s getting late, though. You should get some rest for tomorrow—“
Vox elbows her. “But not after looking at the sky for a little bit. It’s beautiful. Very clear. Romantic, even. The architects did a wonderful job placing this house right at the perfect angle to watch the stars rise. Did I mention it was romantic?”
You act natural and take a big bite out of the string cheese. “Once or twice. Is it the seniors’ bedtime?”
“You got me,” Vox says.
“I love going to sleep early and giving my kids private time before bed to reflect and hold deep conversations with one another about their feelings,” Nina says. “And also nighttime face masks.”
“Woo, skincare, what she said.”
“Hey, by the way, Reader, honey, did you hear anything we talked about?”
“No,” you lie.
“Cool,” Vox says. You eat the rest of the string cheese in one bite. “Good for you. And goodnight, Reader.” He dusts himself off before casting his golden gaze down at you. “Be nice, will you?”
Shivers go down your back. You have a feeling he’s referring to something unspoken. “I will.”
“That’s my sweet thing,” he purrs. “Anyways, I’m going the fuck to beddy bye. Honk shoo, Reader, don’t stay up too late.”
Vox struts off with dark hair flowing behind him and the scent of his aftershave in the air. He leaves you to stand awkwardly next to Nina.
Suddenly, she takes you by your shoulders and forces you in front of her. You blurt out an unflattering startled noise before she gets right up in your face and stares dead into your eyes.
“Please be good,” she says darkly. Was that a threat? “Please be so, so good to my baby.”
“I will,” you say, more out of fear than anything else.
She blinks once, then she’s back to the doting mother you know and love. She squeezes your shoulders. “Thank you, honey! Sweet dreams!”
And just like the Voice Demon before her, Nina bounds off to her room.
Huh. That was weird. Nonetheless, you’re alone in the living room, and you can see the outline of Ike and Mika sitting on the roof in silence.
You lightly knock on the side of the window. They both perk up at the sound. “Cool if I join you?”
Mika responds quickly. “Sure! Watch your step, Reader. The roof isn’t that steep but it would be awkward if you ate shit.”
“Agreed.” You step onto the tiling, and shift your body to match the angle. You feel like a newborn deer learning to walk. Luckily, Nina and Vox leaving meant that there was more than enough space for you right next to the window.
Ike sits between you and Mika. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…”
‘Pretty’ is putting it mildly. The stars are so clear tonight, and scatter across the sky like sequins. The Airbnb was located further away from the heart of the city, so the darkness only amplified how bright the stars shone against the stark night. A breeze drags through the air and fallen leaves rustle between the grass.
“This is so nice.” Comfort settles into you like the breeze in your hair. “I love it.”
Ike sighs. “Right? It’s so peaceful.”
“And there’s so many more stars out here than there are in the city.”
“It makes you want to just zone out and cool down.”
“Yeah, totally.” Mika coughs. “Huh! Cool! Well, I’m tired now. Just keep staying out here and enjoy the sky, I’m going to bed. Enjoy yourselves.”
Mika inelegantly shuffles around your bodies and slips back inside before either of you can properly tell her goodnight.
Ike cocks his head as he watches her stumble through the window. “She just said she would stay out…”
“Hm?”
“Ah, nothing. Just thinking to myself.”
With the extra space, Ike leans back and lays along the roof. The stars cast a dreamy glow over his soft smile as he continues. “It really is something that just makes you want to have a deep conversation, or just think, you know?”
You hum in agreement. You get what he means, but there’s only one topic you can imagine having a deep conversation about right now, and it’s the very one you brooded over earlier that day.
But Ike is Ike. He’s rational and calm and kind, and laughs at your stupid jokes, and texts you first before any of your other mutual friends. The night turns the tips of his hair bluer than usual, and the stars remind you of the freckles hidden along his creamy skin. His glasses reflect the galaxy above.
Even though today’s stream was embarrassing, you know Ike trusts you enough to tell you if you’ve ever crossed a boundary. After all, it’s commonplace to discuss limits on and off stream as soon as possible, and your friendship was so strong that you’ve both opened up to one another. He’d let you know if the whole cuddling thing was too much. Besides, he didn’t resist. He even rested his head on yours. That has to account for something, right?
You snap out of your thoughts when you feel a gentle tug on the sleeve of your hoodie. It’s Ike. He asks, “Lay down with me?”
A wave of fondness washes over you like the tide. He’s cute when he’s earnest like this. You get as comfortable as you can on the tiling, and when you still, you hear something shift before your hand grows warm. Ike scooted closer to you, and placed his pinky finger over yours.
This is bliss. A beautiful sight with a beautiful boy next to you. Your best friend.
“I do love you,” you say.
It just feels right to say.
Ike is silent. He doesn’t make a single sound as you stare up at the stars and the blackened sky. The breeze rocks a tree, and as the leaves part, you see the moon for the first time: one thin, waning crescent that blends into the darkness.
Ike’s head is turned away from you. You can’t tell what he’s thinking at all.
“…I don’t know what you mean,” he admits. “You do? As a friend?”
“We’ve always been friends.”
“Just that?”
“I don’t know what you’re asking me, Ike.”
“N-never mind. I’m sorry, am I making it weird?”
“No, you could never make it weird.” The colors of the view gloss together. You feel like a balloon slowly deflating. “Feels like that’s all I’m doing lately, though.”
Neither of you say anything.
This was a bad idea.
You swear the rustling leaves mock you.
“Wait.” Ike practically snatches your hand up. “Wait, Reader, are you saying you like me?”
“Yeah. I’m saying that I love you.”
Ike stares at you, and if you had to choose just one word to describe his expression, it’s stricken. His mouth is slightly parted, and his shocked eyes drive holes through your skin, leaving you exposed. The brief stutter that escapes him sounds like it was dredged out from frozen, murky waters. “I—”
He drops your hand and turns away.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says, barely audible. “This is… this is a lot.”
“I’m sorry too, this was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?” You get on your feet, but the slope makes what could’ve been a fluid motion into a stumbling, slow rise, as if your legs weren’t jelly enough already. You inch to the window mortified. “I think I should go. Sorry to bother you.”
You don’t dare to glance at him before you step back inside, not even when he calls your name halfway through the window.
Once you’re back in the living room, you cover your face, then drag your hands through your hair. You can’t even begin to describe how exhausted you feel. This is heartbreak, isn’t it?
You blink furiously, and the outline of a figure by the fridge comes into view.
“Reader?” Mika asks. She has a stick of string cheese in her hand, but walks to you. “Reader, what happened—”
You take her empty hand and pace to your room. You open the door. “Are you okay?”
The second it shuts, your breath hitches. Mika doesn’t hesitate to take you in her arms. She holds you as the first tear falls, and you begin to cry.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
You wake up the next day sprawled in your bed, even though the blankets are tucked comfortably around you. On the floor is a pillow and another pile of blankets, and when you recognize the dark hair tied into a loose ponytail, the memories of last night come rushing back.
What an awful night. Awful decisions all day, really, and all of them ones you made. You really don’t know what you were thinking. You groan at the memory.
“Reader?” Mika perks up. Her phone is in her hands, but she sits up level to your face on the floor. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”
Another groan.
“Yeah, I figured,” she says. “Nina, Vox and Ike went out to do their own thing, and I think Ren and Uki are cafe-hopping. It’s just you, me and Aia in the house right now.”
You rub the sleepy out of your eyes. “That’s cool, I guess.” You cast a downward glance to Mika’s makeshift bed on the floor. “Sorry for being a nuisance.”
“You’re not a nuisance, Reader, don’t say that.” She nudges you. “We’re friends. It’s what friends do. Speaking of, do you want Aia to come by? And Alban’s online, so I can call him, too. If you want.”
“It’d be nice…”
Less than ten minutes pass before Aia shows up at your door with breakfast sandwiches and orange juice. All three of you sit on the blanketed floor while Mika voice calls Alban on her phone. A pot of coffee brews over speakerphone as you recount last night.
“...And to make things worse, we just streamed yesterday,” you explain. “God, I should check Twitter. There’s got to be a million people with eyes on our ship tag, and ugh, I hate thinking about how many weirdos are going to push a ship that can’t work out IRL.”
“I can check it for you,” Aia offers. You hand her your phone. “You remember your Twitter password?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. Sorry in advance.” She deletes the app off your home screen.
You begin to protest, but she turns off the phone and sets it aside, out of your reach. “You’re off the clock, Reader! Work troubles can wait until you’re back online, and that includes doomscrolling. You can redownload it when you’re in a better headspace.”
“I really hate admitting you’re right.”
“Shit, Reader,” Alban finally says. “He seriously dropped the ball. I’m sorry.”
“I know. I really thought he would get it, but it took him so long to piece it together, like he never thought about us like that before. I should’ve known it was just me. I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, you’re hurt,” Mika says. “It’s understandable, but that still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
“Is it wrong that I feel like I deserve it? I mean, I knew day one that this wouldn’t work out. We work together online, and we have fans that ship us with each other and the rest of this company, for fuck’s sake. Getting heartbroken was inevitable and I still went for it. Either I’m a glutton for pain or I’m just plain clueless.”
Alban’s voice is distant from the phone as he messes with his coffee maker. You can’t properly hear him under his breath and over the pot, but if you could, you could’ve heard him mumble, Trust me, you’re not the only clueless one here.
But he returns back at the phone, and you’re totally oblivious. “You can’t choose who you fall for,” he says. “It was really that bad?”
“It took him like a minute to realize I was confessing. And then when he realized it, he apologized to me.”
Aia straightens. “Did he say no?”
“Not really, but why would he apologize if he reciprocated?”
Aia exchanges a look with Mika. Alban grumbles. “No fucking way.”
“Tell me exactly how he reacted,” Aia instructs. She plowed through her sandwich during the conversation, but she left the remaining half on her plate forgotten as she laced her fingers together and leaned forward like a calculated boss.
“It was like he couldn’t comprehend what I was saying at first. He asked if I meant it as friends, until he asked me if I liked him. And when I told him I loved him in response, he was so shocked that he let go of my hand, so I left.”
“No fucking way,” Alban repeats, and groans as he drawls out his words. You can practically hear him drag his hands over his face. “No fucking way. Ikeeeee. He seriously dropped the ball.”
“I know. I can’t believe it.”
Aia takes both of your hands in her own. “Reader, I’m not even saying this to hurt you, but this is the clumsiest confession I’ve ever heard of.”
You squint. “Right, that makes me feel so much better.”
“I’m really not! You know what this sounds like? Miscommunication,” she declares. “You didn’t get a solid yes or no. So now it’s going to be awkward between you two until you get an actual answer to the confession, or at least some kind of resolution. You wanna know what I think? It sounds like he didn’t even believe what he was hearing before you left. Which, by the way, is a common response to not just confessions but other major news, so chances are you didn’t blow up your friendship as hard as you thought.”
“She has a point,” Alban says. “I believe you, Reader, but Ike isn’t the type of person to just crush other people’s feelings like that. You just woke up, right?”
“I haven’t even left my room yet. Mika says everyone else is out of the house. He’s with Vox and Nina, I think.”
“So then he hasn’t had a chance to talk to you since the confession,” he continues. “And those three are really close. I’m willing to bet they’re helping him manage it, ‘cause it sounds like he’s going through it just as confused as you are.”
You stare at the floor. Hope feels foreign, yet you can’t help but wonder. You struggle to remember the exact way Ike reacted last night, but you really can’t tell what facts were clouded over by the rejection. A rejection that possibly didn’t even happen, mind you. The confusion and regret blurs over everything like water on wet ink.
“You really think so?” You quietly ask.
Aia nods, and Alban agrees over the phone.
Mika pipes up, a glass of juice in her hands. “Here’s my take. We can theorize as much as we want, but none of us really know what Ike’s thinking about, least of all you. Especially since you didn’t actually resolve anything, and that tension is going to eat at you until you get an answer or it actually damages your friendship. You ask me, the next best thing you can do is bring it up.”
She takes a sip of her juice and leaves you to absorb her advice.
You mull it over along with the memory of last night. “He called my name as I left.”
Alban chokes on his coffee. “He called your name?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t respond.”
“Oh my God. READER!” He shouts so loud that Mika turns the volume down. “I’m going to lose it. I’m actually freaking it right now. Reader!”
“What?”
“Fuck what Mika said earlier, you are stupid!”
“Hey!”
“I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, you are so stupid. He was trying to talk to you!”
Your face goes through a handful of emotions as you sputter. “Are you serious, Alban?”
“Yes! Mika, Aia, back me up.”
Aia crinkles her nose. “I did just say it sounded like a total miscommunication.”
Meanwhile, Mika twirls a lock of red-and-black hair between her finger, distracting herself. She hesitates, trying to figure out exactly how she wants to say her piece, before she simply shakes her head and stills. “Just talk to him.”
“Which is easier said than done.” Your shoulders roll back as you stare up at the ceiling, your hands supporting you as you lean. Even with your friends’ encouragement, the memory of how hard you blew it last night still haunts you. It’s even worse than starting at ground zero; you’ve already tasted failure once, and you’re hesitant to embarrass yourself again.
That stricken look Ike gave you flashes across your sight every time you blink. What was he thinking when he stared at you like that? You can’t tell if the disgust is true or if your anxieties are getting the best of you.
The best solution to anxieties, however, is looking at the facts—or at least, what isn’t tainted by your bias. Your friends mentioned there was nothing wrong with a workplace romance, and as much as the stream made you want to cringe, no one seemed put off by it. Alban and Aia are set on getting you and Ike to talk, and so is Mika. In fact, Mika spoke with Ike as well as Vox and Nina last night before you entered, and even if you had no idea what those four were talking about, you still picked up your name and that apparently Ike had something to tell you.
Pieces start to fall into place when you consider the three around you, staging an intervention over a late breakfast. Aia always gets you in situations where you can be close to Ike and bails you out when it gets awkward, and as much as he won’t get off your back about it, Alban gave you great advice between all his teasing. Mika was nosy at first when she learned about your feelings, but now that you think about it, she’s been incredibly tactful ever since the off-collab began.
You can’t help but snicker as you connect the dots. “Is this the first time you guys actually started wingmanning for me?”
Aia purses her lips. “Hey, not the first. Remember when we made that group chat? We’ve always been your wingmen.”
“I know. But you guys are seriously helping,” you say. “Thanks. Though I do wonder, Mika…”
She perks up as you say her name. “Be real with me. Do you know more than you’re letting on?”
She flinches. Alban’s fingers snap over the phone. “Busted.”
Mika holds her hands up like a criminal caught in the act, but there’s a loose, sly smile hanging on her face. “I don’t think it’s my place to say.”
“What do you mean, it’s not your place to say?”
“I’m sorry, Reader, but I made a promise not to spill, and I’ve been doing way too much behind the scenes to break the promise like that. Just do me a favor and talk to the guy, will you? That’s the best I can tell you.” Mika rests her head in a hand, and the smirk looks even more knowing. “And if you can’t figure it out after that, then you’re definitely stupid.”
You bluster. “I’m not stupid!”
“Still remains to be seen.” Aia gently flicks your forehead. “But you do look a lot better. How are you feeling now?”
Aside from the fading pain on your forehead? You’re surprised at how much lighter you feel now that you unloaded all your worries with your friends. The rejection still stings, and you’re not exactly confident, but, well, you’re smiling. The clean, tangy taste of orange juice lingers between your tongue. Aia and Mika sitting on the pile of blankets reminds you that regardless of your love life, they’d stay by your side until the bitter end, and Alban’s voice keeps you connected with your friends no matter where in the world you are.
You snatch Aia’s half-eaten sandwich off her plate and sink your teeth into the bread. She cries out in protest. “Hey!”
“Better now.” You set the sandwich back where you found it. Even though your future with Ike looks cloudy, the smile doesn’t leave. “Don’t flick me.”
“Speaking of.” Mika picks up the phone and scrolls through her messages. “Nina just texted that she, Vox and Ike will come back in an hour or less. Reader, are you up for this?”
“What do you mean, ‘up for this?’”
“Just seeing Ike again. It was a weird night,” she says. “I stand by what I said, but if it’s going to be too much too soon, then Aia and I can cover for you until you feel better.”
“I don’t know.” That’s what gets your expression to sink from light to thoughtful. “I think I want to take your advice. I just don’t know if I’m ready to talk it out yet.”
“Still wanna hang out with us or take a moment to yourself?”
“I think I’d just go back to moping if I was alone,” you joke.
“Cool. Let me go grab some nail polish Nina gave me yesterday.” Mika rises and strides to the door. “You have a steadier hand than me. And Nina said the color suits me more than her.”
Aia’s face lights up. She happily cries ”Girls’ night!” even though it’s barely noon and Alban is decidedly not a girl, but then he croons something in a valley girl accent so strong you can’t even tell what he’s saying. Scratch that; he’s a girl by association.
When he drawls out one long “Yaaaaaas, bestie!” you can’t help but laugh. Your love life is in shambles, but at least your friendships are solid as hell. You’d give the world for these three.
Mika returns a moment later, travel-sized nail supplies in her arms and a totally unrelated topic on the mind. The sharp scent of the lacquer startles you out of your thoughts as you uncap the bottle and Mika splays her hands out, and Alban and Aia air their opinions on something entertainingly dumb.
Nina was right: this color is stunning on Mika. You paint Aia’s nails too, and halfway through her second hand, you hear the front door open, the end of an intelligible conversation, and telltale footsteps, each diverting across the house. The girls’ eyes flicker to you. You know they’re trying to read your expression, but you concentrate on how the brushstrokes pool together into one smooth coat. Your thoughts are a storm and you can’t even pick out the emotion commanding it.
So you keep joking along instead and focus on the nail polish, refusing to give the storm an opportunity to strike. Alban quips off of you, and the moment passes as Mika and Aia return to the conversation.
That is, until half an hour later when you hear a knock on the door. Mika cocks her head, a silent question, and when you nod she stands. Her nails dried when you finished Aia’s, and dot the doorknob as she cracks it open. A tiny margin of light from the hallway shines into your room, and you realize she positioned herself square in front of the threshold, shielding you from the person on the other side.
She talks evenly. “Hey, welcome back.”
“Thanks. Is Reader here?”
Your mind thunders as you register the voice. You can only see the leg of his jeans behind Mika, but you recognize Ike’s voice on the other side.
Aia shuffles by as a second shield. “Need them for something?”
“Kind of,” Ike says. “Do you mind if I talk to them?”
“I don’t know, what’s it about—“
“Aia, you can lay off him.” You call from your corner of the room. “You too, Mika.”
“Whatever you say. Just let me just grab my stuff…”
Mika grabs the nail supplies and deafens on Discord, but doesn’t even think to pick up the blankets along the ground. Instead, she glides to you and whispers under her breath. “We’re rooting for you. Send us a text if you need anything, okay?”
You nod. Aia slips past the threshold, but not without shooting you a thumbs up and mouthing ‘good luck.’ Not even a second later, your phone buzzes, and you catch Alban’s contact sending you an encouraging message in all-caps.
“See you later!” Aia chirps. “Play nice, you two.”
The scent of the lacquer follows them as they leave, and the sound of their footsteps fade in time.
Still in the doorway, Ike raises a hand to fidget with the chain along his glasses. “Do you mind if I…?”
“Oh! Come in. Sit anywhere, I don’t mind.”
You stay planted on the floor like how you were with your friends, and Ike sits next to you. You face the wall in front while he gets comfortable.
No words are exchanged as Ike maneuvers around the blankets, and eventually settles down with his back on the floor and head resting on a pillow, staring up at the ceiling. The light is off, but the blinds filter in thin beams of sunlight that cross over the room and the edge of his collar like a grid.
“Lay with me?” He asks. Then it strikes you like ringing metal; you sit next to each other in the same positions as that night on the roof.
Suddenly Ike raises his hands like static. “Not that you have to! I just figured it would be good to get comfortable and all, you know?” Ike hastily explains, then clears his throat. “I wanted to talk. About last night, I mean.”
Your chest flutters at the mention of it, but you remember all your friends’ encouragement. Here he is, the novelist of your (heartbroken) dreams, already bringing up the topic you dread to mention. You need to take this chance to face it head-on, now or never.
You glide down like the ceiling is full of stars. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“A lot, honestly. I don’t know how to go about it, but first of all, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
You cross your arms. “You said that enough last night.”
“Not like that! I mean I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I think I made every wrong choice once you said that you… that.” He shovels a hand through his hair. “I’m making it weird again. I should apologize for that, too, it’s just kind of embarrassing saying out loud that you, um, you loved me. Not that you should be embarrassed. I mean, I get it if you are, but that took a lot of guts. You should be proud of that. I admire you for that.”
“Slow down. What are you even saying?”
“What I wish I said last night. More than anything else, I’m sorry I got caught off-guard. I must’ve been so standoffish, because my idiot brain just didn’t believe what I was hearing until it was too late and the damage was already done.” Hair the color of ash and ocean falls over his face. “Honestly, I can’t believe it now.”
“I get it. Bad idea from me. Can we move on from that yet?”
“I don’t think it was a bad idea at all. I just had no idea that you liked me.”
“Give me some time and I’ll get over it, eventually. I’m not going to let it get in the way of working with you, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.”
“No, that’s not it either! I—“
Ike’s eyes squeeze shut. His voice is so quiet, you can’t discern what he’s saying. “…Actually, I’m…”
“Repeat that?”
“I’m happy. Really happy,” Ike says. His pitch rises like a balloon floating up into space, struggling to stay composed. “I’m not good at saying it, but I meant it when I said… when I said it during the stream.”
You wave a hand in the air. “It was weird timing, and I know you mean it like a friend,” you reply. “I didn’t mean to pressure you into saying it, and just being friends is fine. Even though I’m a loser that messed up just about everything.”
The hand catches in midair. Doll-like fingers weave through your grasp, and turn your touch warm as Ike turns to look at you. “Not with me. Don’t say that about yourself, okay?”
You stare at how easily he held your hand, and how his fingers cradle your heart between the palms. The corners of Ike’s eyes are narrowed, two beads of peridot stone that can see through every little line of text between your pages, but there’s gentleness under his glasses. Something uncertain and fluffy. Softened like a lamb even though he leaves you defenseless.
You don’t know what to say. Ike is beautiful and kind and handsome and thoughtful when he’s earnest like this. He’s got you stupid in the head and wrapped around his pinky finger, and doesn’t have a single clue.
Peridot sparkles. “You’re so much more than that. You don’t mess things up, Reader. I’m in love with you.”
Your mouth goes dry and your tongue is still tied. Forget speechlessness; the man took your own damn thoughts away. Your hand remains frozen in air with Ike’s. If it weren’t for the light drag of one of his fingernails along your skin, then you would have figured he took your senses as well.
But the drag ends, and the fingers unlace themselves, and chilled air fills in the gaps Ike once held close. The tips of his fingers rest at the curve of your palm for just one second more before they drift away.
The glint in his eyes dulls. His hand falls to his chest, over his heart, just as slow as he parted. The uncertainty took over, and now it’s like staring at a cloud that doesn’t know if it should rain. Ike’s gaze lowers to his heart. There’s a stretch of silence and motionlessness as he stares at where your touch once was, and you’re paralyzed where you lay.
Ike's hand curls in on itself, too loose to make a fist, and his lashes sink over his eyes. His mouth is set into a flat line, but the cheeks are dusted in pinks and reds and peppered freckles in-between, demure and shy all the while.
He turns his face away soon after that. Another break of silence, and he shuffles again, with your vision on his back as if it were a hiding place.
It startles you out of your stupor. The gridded sunlight lets you analyze what you missed. After months of thinking your feelings would never be reciprocated, Ike thought of you just the same. He’s always been in your corner, and you would go to the ends of the earth for him, and everything is in its perfect position. But his back is still turned, and the memory of last night—your confession, and his inaction—it rushes to your head.
So you reach out instead.
Maybe it’s a little selfish. You’re tired of bumbling around and concealing your true feelings, and now that everything's out in the open, you aren’t about to let go without resolution.
But Ike is your best friend, and the man you fell in love with. There was no way you’d ever let go in the first place.
You wrap your arms around his back and hug Ike.
“I think I get why you were so taken aback last night,” you whisper. Even though you’re alone with Ike, you still say it like a secret. “I can barely believe it myself.”
Your warmth is inviting, and every second that passes is another defense downed. Your head perches right above his neck and along his shoulder. It’s not your first hug with Ike at all, but there’s only been so many since you first met him in person that it still feels special, and with your bodies flush to the floor, it’s intimate. His eyes are averted and one cheek lays down on the blankets, but the tips of his ears glow scarlet under his jewelry.
“I’m glad you were patient with me. I really didn’t think I had a chance with you. You know, the long distance and the company, and you know, the standard pining fare. I’m really lucky.” A smile slips through your words. “I’ll stay with you, okay? So take all the time you need.”
Ike chuckles. Even his laughter is blushy-bashful. “I’m just so happy you feel the same, too. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”
His body curls as he lays, and your legs brush along his as you cuddle. Holding him makes it feel like he was made to fit in your arms. You sigh. “I love when you can’t contain it. It’s so cute.”
Ike squeaks at that, and unwittingly proves your point. “It feels so good to say that out loud. I mean, you’re okay with it, right?” A nod. “And you’re okay with… I don’t know. Are we still friends?”
“Of course we are, no matter what. You said you loved me first, so let me say this one?”
You have a feeling you know what’s coming next. You hug him even tighter.
“Reader, let’s go out. I don’t want this feeling to end,” he confesses, and your world turns into rose and blush. “Can we?”
Though you expected it, he still takes your breath away—until he taps you on the hand. “Come on, say something before my heart explodes!”
“Mine already did! I can’t even think straight, and—I’d love that. I really want this.”
Another squeal breaks out as Ike buries his head into a blanket, and your heart soars as he melts. He resembles a swaddled-up kitten, and the rays of sunlight line his silhouette. The fluffy blanket reminds you of an angel’s downy wings along his kitten features. You can’t even see his face between the blanket and his hair, but his squeal continues, muted through the blanket as he swoons.
Somehow that only makes you feel even more flustered. “No, don’t hide! I want to see you!”
Maybe it would’ve been better for your heart if he stayed put, because when Ike rises—with disheveled hair and glitter in his eyes the color of seaglass, and jewelry that frames his red face, and that galaxy of freckles you hold so dear and shine like stars between his blush—you feel your heart stop. Again.
“When did you start having this effect on me?” You ask, mesmerized, and before you know it you thumb over one of his rosy cheeks. “Your freckles are so beautiful.”
He sheepishly grins. “They don’t really show up online. They’re pale.”
“Never noticed them until I met you in person. I love them. I love you.”
The grin gets a little wider. One of his fingers grazes along the corner of your ear. Has his hand always been along your jawline?
Ike’s eyes are shining under the grid of sunlight. The lashes flit just a bit lower from your gaze. “Reader, can we…?”
You close your eyes.
And when Ike’s lips graze your own, you smile on instinct before you remember to kiss back.
Ike brings you near, searching for the taste of you as he continues. His touch lodges past your jawline and into your hair, and when one of the fingers grazes along your ear you’re reminded just how much you love Ike. All the yearning you hid for so long bleeds through as you sink down to his level with his head in your hand, gentle yet impassioned.
Then your face bumps against Ike’s glasses. The kiss breaks as you back away.
There’s a brief pause in the aftermath. Ike wordlessly adjusts his glasses, now knocked off-center. Despite finally getting on the same page on your relationship with Ike, you’re still as clumsy about your feelings as ever.
But the corners of your lips curve up as he inspects the lens you squished, then a barely-stifled giggle, and next thing you know, Ike’s laughing along with you, still underneath your body and with one hand in your hair while the other holds his glasses in place. He sounds as charming as he looks, and the fact that he joined you even when you chuckled out of the blue means that his mind is just as charming as well.
Not that it was breaking news. You know your best friend well, and now that you don’t need to deny your feelings any longer, you know you’ve got good taste if Ike’s under you with crinkled eyes and hearty laughter.
When you speak next, the giggles patter out between your words but the quiet delight hangs in your teeth. “Can we try that again?”
Then his lips are on yours again, and the laughter twists between the second kiss, and the third, and the fourth, all the way until you collapse on the blankets with arms around each other, staring up at the stars on the bland popcorn ceiling as adoration fills the space between you.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
bonus.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Starting soon…
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
The chat flickers alive as a four-pointed flower, a diamond, and a thorned heart give way to the stream and the novelist behind the stinger.
Kaidororero: welcome back ike!
Min (Ikey’s Book): 💙 IKEY IS BACK 💙
A normal broom: HI IKE
lunasmortas: 💙💙💙
viperip: ike! :_heart: :_heart: :_heart:
Sun shines through a clear day in Ike’s room onscreen, but in reality, blackout curtains block out the day outside. A sweet smile graces both Ike’s face and his model as the Quilldren welcome him home.
He greets them, and cracks open a can of soda as he quickly scans through the chat. Obviously, the off-collab is on everyone’s minds.
juuuuuuuuuus: did you have fun?
Kaidororero: offcollab POOOG
lunasmortas: SO CUTE :_heart: :heart:
Johnclone: Hope you had a good time!
zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER REAL
Hm. A mod will eventually bonk that message. But then again, it’s inevitable that the ship would come up in chat.
Ike takes it in stride and ignores it like any other shipper, but his heart still skips a beat. Nonetheless, he doesn’t call any attention to it. “How about that off-collab, right? I met up with my friends! Where do I even begin?”
Ike recounts his trip from the beginning, and the Quilldren react to his stories with interest. He was one of the last to arrive, so Nina, Uki and Reader picked him up from the airport, and met up with Aia, Ren, and Mika at the Airbnb. Vox was the only one to arrive after him, hot off the heels of a flight delay, but the demon was a welcome party all his own despite his exhaustion.
“We went to karaoke once Vox got situated,” Ike explains. “Nina put that song in first so we could all let loose, and so she would have a fun voice tweet for everyone. Might as well confirm everyone that showed up, right?
“But after that, we didn’t want to stress ourselves out to perform for voice tweets instead of just having fun, so that was the only song we recorded. I wish you could’ve heard Uki and Vox’s duet, though. And while we were singing, turns out Ren packed a ukulele with him! Sometimes he would learn how to play along by ear, like a jam session. Mika knows how to play ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ too, so everyone joined in singing that while she played it. It was so much fun.”
Johnclone: Everyone sounded great!
sunblast99: uki’s voice >>>>>> everything else 💜💙
haabinae: :_tskr:
Festersk: WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT 🗣🗣
A normal broom: what did you sing?
Ike leans back in his chair. He blows a lock of hair out of his sight as he tries to think. “I remember Vox sang something by George Strait, so then we all egged him on to sing ‘Country Roads.’ He only did it once I promised to queue up ‘Toxicity’ by System of a Down afterwards.”
lunasmortas: OMG 💙💙💙
gatamiizuus: ayo?
Y A M: YESSSSSSS :_tskr: :_tskr:
haabinae: I LOVE SOAD :_fanboy:
Thornmy: SO COOL 💙
“Thank you.” He says it out of obligation. If he thinks too hard about the compliments, he’ll get embarrassed. “What else was there? I think there was some Motionless in White, and Spiritbox. Oh, and My First Story. Can’t forget My First Story.”
K. K. Soda: ooooo
Alban Knox 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : what about mcr
asper ch.: METAL SCREAM?
deeboorgur: HI ALBAN
Y A M: MCR YEAAAAA :_glowstick_1: :_glowstick_2:
“I’m getting there, Alban!”
Ike takes a sip while the Quilldren greet Alban. He’s not too surprised Alban seems to know more than the other viewers. He’s close with almost everyone that went on the trip, and was super active on Discord during the off-collab. The novelist lowers his soda as the chat floods in orange hearts. He wonders how Alban learned so much as an observer. He should ask.
But that’s a question for after stream. Ike continues. “Thank Nina for that. She queued up ‘I’m Not Okay’ by My Chemical Romance, and then shoved two mics in my hands and Reader’s.”
And the chat explodes.
Kaidororero: OMGGGGGG 💙💕
Y A M: PEN AND PAPER SO CUTE :_tskr:
zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER DUET
asper ch.: AYOOOO MCR
gatamiizuus: I LOVE READER
ystariya: PEN AND PAPER MY BELOVED
“It’s a really fun song! It’s almost all clean vocals, but there’s this scream in the middle. Up until then, we sang together, but then I screamed, and Reader picked up the slack and sang the parts of the verse I couldn’t. They’re amazing.”
gatamiizuus: READER SIMPS COME GET Y’ALL’S JUICE
Thornmy: THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD
lunasmortas: 💙💕💙💕
ystariya: READER KARAOKE STREAM WHEN
Kaidororero: AWWWWWWW
The model on the screen doesn’t have the same glint in Ike’s eye when he talks about you. That first day of the trip was all about getting comfortable after long travel hours, and the stories went on as the days went by. Sightseeing with Aia and shopping with Uki by day, and spending the night shooting the shit with Ren until it turns into the littlest hours of the morning.
“Vox wanted to try a bunch of different restaurants with me, but you know me, ya boi is not good with most foods. So Nina usually came along in case I couldn’t finish something. She and Vox would share my leftovers.”
Something fond crosses over Ike’s face. His eyes cloud over in fog descending over a clear-sky day. “We would always talk over food about anything. I appreciate it a lot. They really get me.” The fog stills. “And over breakfast one morning, they gave me some excellent advice over something I’ve been meaning to do.”
ver*batim: ❤️💙❤️
K. K. Soda: MILORDDDDD
nroneo: :_heart:
A normal broom: upcoming project? 👀
Johnclone: I love Nina Kosaka!
“Not a project, no. It was something I was really worried about, even when I was supposed to be taking a break with my friends,” he says. “But those two seriously helped me clear my head about it. Mika, too. Vox and Nina had a lot of nuanced advice, but Mika told it to me straight, and helped handle what I couldn’t. I’m really thankful to have them.”
His set jaw loosens. “Maybe I’ll talk about it one day.”
The model cocks to the side. Motion blurs the foggy sobriety away. With a lightness to his voice and a knowing gaze, Ike looks straight into the camera and smiles, sentimentality forgotten. The air clears. “But for now, it’s a secret~!
“Ah, now where was I? Spending time with my friends, right? Reader and I hung out often. Sometimes with others, but it ended up being the two of us more than not.”
Birds chirp outside Ike’s window in time with the hum of his PC. The backlit keyboard in front of the monitors glows the same color as the computer, a healthy blue light that tints the tips of his fingers. He usually sets it to a rainbow spectrum in his own time, but static blue is reserved for going live. It gets him in the right mindset for streaming, and makes his little apartment feel fantastical like the noble background that accompanies his model, even if it only reaches his fingertips.
He’s sure the Ike on the screen has fingertips tinged with blue just like him, an extension of the man outside the screen but without the grittier details. Smooth, pristine hands under gloves where his are callused from guitar playing. Nothing under the model’s eyes but lashes and a line of red that brings out the pink in his eyes, very much unlike the heavy bags and sunken face from an awful delay on his flight back home. No freckles, either, but even cameras rarely pick them up on video call. Nina cooed over them the first time they met, as motherly as ever, but behind closed doors Reader was utterly fascinated with them. They mentioned something about watching blush travel around his face with the smattering of freckles in-between once or twice… maybe more? Doesn’t matter when he’s never heard that before and it repeats in his head when he catches himself daydreaming. It’s one of the best things he’s ever heard.
Vtuber Model Ike’s face doesn’t heat up like how Real Ike’s certainly is now. He clears his throat. “The weather was really nice during the entire trip, so we would always get into good conversations while walking back to where we were staying. And sometimes we didn’t want to end the conversation, so we’d just keep walking past our Airbnb until our feet hurt or it got dark, whichever came first.
“Oh, here’s something funny. Uki really loves cafes, right? Usually he woke up early with Ren to go check out some cafes in the morning, way before the rest of us would even think of waking up. By the time everyone else woke up, they already finished their breakfast, and Uki would tell Reader about the ones to visit or skip. Whenever Uki recommended one, Reader always wanted to go themselves, so I went along to keep them company.”
Even as his skin returns to its original shade, the sweetness sticks to his throat like the soda he’s barely touched at all. He’s wistful. He didn’t expect to miss Reader this much; after all, his relationship with them has bloomed so much ever since you first started working together, but two weeks together (including mutual close friends) changes things. It’s only been two days since he returned home, but he feels out of rhythm with them.
He’s gotten too accustomed to them. Over the last few months, he thought he did a good job putting aside his feelings for Reader, even when Nina would tease him after every Pen and Paper collab and Vox and Mika would be right behind her, hyping him up to make a move. The fear of rejection was what motivated him to keep his close friendship with Reader without ever confessing to them.
“Reader…”
The world around him is nothing. Paused to buffer as he thinks. He can’t remember the last time he felt so happy. Just being in the same room as them makes him feel stupid, and surely he’s been acting like it. Everything he says sounds clumsy when he’s with them. After all, on that day when he owned up to the feelings he repressed for so long that he couldn’t properly react to Reader’s confession, he couldn’t say much more than how happy he was. Words fail to describe what Reader means to him, yet he’s a novelist, for crying out loud! How ironic!
“...Reader is so patient with me,” Ike says. “And they’re so considerate and dedicated. I wish I told them that earlier. It’s hard to say things out loud like this, but you only meet people like Reader once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and even then, there’s no one quite like Reader.”
ystariya: i love reader
Kaidororero: pen and paper awwww
Y A M: PEN AND PAPER
acklmystafoot: ike is so sweet!!!
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 💙
“Aaah!”
Ike recoils like his keyboard is flaming lava. The model on the screen leans back and freezes in place while he nearly throws himself out of his chair. “R-Reader! What are you doing here?!”
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : FKJLJJSLKFJDKS LMAOOOOOOOO
Johnclone: Hello Reader!
Y A M: OMG
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : just wanted to say hi
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : hi!
Festersk: LMAO
Ike sputters out nothing but empty air and nervous laughter. “Haha. Um. Hi! Welcome!”
Stupid! He wants to kick himself. He’s made improvement on verbalizing affection, and he’s comfortable with Reader, especially now that there aren’t any secrets left, but he’s still so unfamiliar with affection being returned that his heart is still doing kickflips in his chest.
haabinae: :_blush: :_blush: :_blush:
juuuuuuuuuus: most normal pen and paper moment
Thornmy: AWWW
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : check discord
A normal broom: Oh?
“Ah, okay! Give me a second.” Ike keeps his Discord on mute, and usually disables desktop notifications when he’s live, so he’s not surprised to open the window to unread messages and some non-urgent pings. Sure enough, Reader sent him something.
Reader: because you were talking about cafes
Reader: image.png (3) | 💙 1 |
Me: Oh I recognize these from our first date!
It’s been over a week now, but just saying he went on a date with Reader has him squeezing his legs together so his feet wouldn’t start kicking in the air.
Reader: ahh you remembered!
Me: I should’ve figured you took more pictures than the ones you showed me
Reader: dw i have more i wanted to show you
Reader: image.png (8) | 💙 1 |
Me: Seriously how are you so good at photography I don’t get it-
Me: You’re really pretty in this one!
Me: UGHHHH WHY DO I LOOK SO WEIRD | ❌ 1 | 💕 1 |
Me: I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE YOU TAKE THIS ONE
Reader: WTH YOU’RE NOT WEIRD
Reader: YOU’RE LITERALLY SO HANDSOME WHY DO YOU T H I N K I TOOK THAT PIC
Well, great, now he’s actually kicking in his seat. Ike is inclined to disagree, but when Reader says it, it’s a super-effective attack on his poor little novelist heart.
Me: Akaslwdnja
Me: Thank you 😭
Reader: anyways i gotta go i stream in 20 min and i’ve barely eaten my food
Me: Go eat! Do you have enough water?
Reader: just refilled my bottle
Me: Good then don’t let me keep you! Have a good stream!
And before he can overthink it, in the moment—
Me: I love you!
His sights are set on his second monitor.
Reader is typing…
Reader doesn’t have to respond. Sometimes just saying it is enough.
Reader: fdsjdfkl.
Ike’s been trying to relearn that lesson ever since he realized everything he repressed was reciprocated.
Reader: i love you too, ike
Words heard across the world, one of the people he holds most dear.
His heart beats loud in his ears, but he can feel it slow, somehow. Reader is exhilarating, but there’s security in them, too. The nerves kick in until he remembers they’re just as exposed as the other, and the vulnerability generate a sense of comfort. Reader makes him feel understood like no one else in the world does, and he trusts them more than anything.
He does. He does, he does, he does, even if he only has the strength to say it one at a time. Ike is in love.
Reader: i’ll let you know when i’m done streaming, we can watch a movie together after
Me: It’s a date! | 💕 1 |
It takes him a moment to tear his gaze away from your messages.
His streaming monitor reflects his movements. The chat moves along. Blue light spreads through his fingertips, just like how he imagines Vtuber Model Ike’s hands resting on his own keyboard, an extension of the man outside the screen, proof of the fantastical.
“They sent me something.” Ike’s laughter is gentle. “I really do love them.”
The chat zooms past, as expected. Surely that would get clipped alongside the off-collab Q&A, but he can’t seem to care. He doubts the fandom would really understand how deep the connection goes, and if they do? Some things are just meant to be private.
Besides, on the day Ike and Reader get comfortable enough in their relationship to go public, he knows the Quilldren have his back, just like Reader and their Bookworms.
“Reader, if you’re still there, we need to meet up again,” Ike says. “I don’t know when, but one day.”
A flurry of messages, but only one truly matters.
Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : i wouldn’t miss it for the world
The model onscreen grins. It pales in comparison to Ike himself.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
✧. ┊commentary ↣
✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi
#ike eveland x reader#ike eveland#ike eveland fluff#ike eveland angst#luxiem#luxiem x reader#nijisanji x reader#nijisanji#4402 writes#🖋 anon#fanfic is unrealistic and i know this because clippers would NEVER use semicolons in their captions#eating string cheese wrong is symbolic. it represents eavesdropping and shitty lies that go unnoticed#i hope i never see a typo in this thing this fic is literally impossible to edit on mobile#update: there were typos. and i had to wait 3 minutes for the editor to load on my laptop before i could fix them. rip#pliskinverse
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could you do some hcs for platonic 141 and a techie/hacker reader? i’d love to see your take on their friendship with someone like that :) also love your work, thanks for making so many cool hcs and scenarios 🥰❤️❤️
I like this. This is good. 😄 Also thank you! I hope you enjoy your headcanons.
141 with a hacker/tech oriented teammate
Ghost 💀
Ghost is somewhat of a hacker himself. In the 09 game Ghost is the 141's hacker. Simon is in love with computers and codes. It's something of a hobby.
So when he meets you and discovers you are also a whizz with computers he's thrilled.
You two are both set up to work together and this is what brings you closer, bonding over your your shared skill set.
Sometimes you'll go to Ghost if you are having a particularly difficult problem, and him vice versa.
And despite Simon knowing everything there is to know about a computer from it's chip, to it's processing hardware, to the INS and outs of connecting wirelessly to and encrypted computer- he cannot figure out his own fucking phone.
Yeah yeah, laugh it up. He knows how to use it but sometimes he's socially inept.
"Sergeant. Johnny just sent me a link to this site... He put a smiley face emoji, and a... Heart?? Is this a threat?"
You take one took at the url and cringe. "Just ignore it. Don't click on it. I'm going to restrict Johnny's network access right now!"
Simon nods, not questioning it. Though he is curious what this site it. Knowing Johnny it can't be something innocent.
Simon also loves to spend his free time making complicated encrypted codes for you to puzzle through. If you're feeling bored he'll flip you a USB and tell you to clear the malware in an hour.
It's always fun.
And it's really what got the two of you close in the first place.
Simon always reaches out for your help in missions first.
"Y/n, can you open the door, it's blocked?"
"Is it online?"
"Bloody- yes it's online."
"Is there a key card for it??"
"Yeah... But I don't want to go look for it."
You chuckle. "Alright big guy, give me 2 seconds."
Johnny is scared of you two.
He came into the kitchen one morning and heard you using foreign 16 letter words and strange alien language while reading a book on computer engineering with Ghost. Worst part was, he spoke the strange language back!
Johnny thinks your aliens for a half minute until you define the words for him and he's good to go.
Simon knows you're a hacker, but he also tried to figure out your other hobbies. Like, maybe you take long walks around the neighborhood in the morning?? Or you play volleyball. Something like that.
He spends most of his time with you. He just likes hanging out with you in general. And after you rigged up a PS5 to the old ass TV in the common room it's been nonstop fun off duty.
He takes it upon himself to train you. You're both skilled but if there is something you aren't sure of or haven't faced before in your military training you'll go to him. And he's always willing to help.
Overall, Ghost really likes you. And he admires your skill. One day you might be as good a hacker as him 😉
Soap 🧼
You and Johnny are much more similar than you might think. Johnny does a bit of his own hacking when it comes to delaying a bomb, rewiring them or defusing them all together. So he knows a good thing or two.
He does a little bit of hacking, nothing spectacular like you or Ghost though.
Definitely asks you to hack the PS store so he can get more game points.
Asks you about video games in general. Yes, sure, your hacking is very professional and you use it for the missions but what about videogames!?
You find that jimmy rigging things for Johnny is just the best way to show your love. He came to you one afternoon asking if you could make one of his headphones play music and the other receive comms. From the others.
Silly Johnny.
Will ask you to somehow get the Christmas lights in his room connected to the main power. He is very disappointed when you tell him that electrician is a very different job from technician.
Will probably ask you to teach him some more advanced hacky stuff when he can. Definitely doesn't ask you for help pranking the recruits when it's tech involved. And you definitely don't occasionally help him.
Johnny is a bit scared by all the computer books on your shelf and all the big words inside. Your equally as scared by his quantum mechanics books and all his explosives manuals.
It's equal honestly.
He is like Ghost in the sense that when he could just ask you to do something for him instead of looking everywhere for something.
"Y/nnnnnnnn" he whines.
"What's up Johnny? Are you in the building yet??"
"No, it's locked and I don't know the code."
"Is it written down somewhere??"
"Y/n, could you just.... Open it??"
You chuckle. "Give me a minute buddy."
The door clicks and turns green. "Yippee! 😁" And in he goes.
You've found you need to wipe his phone every other month and set him up with an antivirus you need to remind him to pay for. Because he connects to any and all networks without a care.
MacDonald?? Connected. Ghost's hotspot?? Connected. Some random printer with one bar?? Definitely connected.
He's just kinda dumb like that.
You set up a little class for him about malware just to remind him.
You've started restricting his phone time so he can only use it for 4 hours a day before it completely shuts off. Just to tease him. Until he goes to Price and tattles ☹️
Johnny just thinks it's cool as shit. He didn't know it was an actual job for you? Like that's dope!
He likes to find different computer kits for you. The type of guy to dig old computers from the garbage and unpack it to get to the mother board.
If he finds a chip in there or a hard drive obviously he's gonna ask you to open it so he can snoop.
Johnny thinks your talent is really cool. He thinks you're really cool. And when you sit down and play video games with him even without all the hackers skill he still has fun.
Occasionally you are surprised when Johnny pulls out a super smash bros move so insane no one would ever attempt it in their right mind and wins.
So you both surprise each other with your different skills. You teach Johnny about computers, he teaches you about science and big things that go boom.
It's a nice partnership. Johnny would give this relationship 5 whole stars!!
Gaz 🧢
It immediately interests him. He's no hacker by trade, he has as much skill in the concept as Johnny does. But it really does catch his attention.
Wanting to spend a lot of his time alone, sometimes he enjoys just sitting there and watching you click away on your computer.
You even teach him a few things. Sometimes he'll feel like pointing out a code he's unfamiliar with or something else you do, and you're always happy to teach him.
Gaz is much quieter than the others, so you decide to make up some better headphones for him when on base so he can get the full quiet atmosphere experience.
He really like the glowing keyboard you have. (You know the one) he really likes it.
He isn't one to use you as a cheat code but sometimes you just like to spoil him. He doesn't want to ask you for unnecessary help when you are helping Captain Price across the building.
"Bloody hell, where is that stupid passcode!?" He looks around the desk, scattering papers in a hurry. If he doesn't get in this computer he would definitely be caught.
"Having some trouble Gaz??"
"I'm fine. Where is Captain Price at??"
You hum. Suddenly the computer in front of him flickers onto a loading screen and freezes. Several lines of code flash over the screen.
"Don't worry, using the wireless connection you set up earlier..."
The computer flashed on, past the passcode screen. "All clear sergeant."
He can't help chuckling. "Thanks."
He's 100% in the know of where to find all the best books and will often scan your shelves to see if your missing a volume of anything or if there is a new book he could get you.
He tries to make stuff for you. Like little computer decorations. It's a hobby of his making little decals and stickers, so your computer is glamorized in all of Gaz's little gifts.
Gaz isn't as interested in your computer sciences as Johnny, but he's also the only one you'll find lounging in your office at 2 in the morning reading one of your coding books because he couldn't sleep.
You flick on the lights in your office, startled when you see someone sitting in your chair. You sigh in relief when you see it's on Gaz, passed out with your heavy textbook open on his chest.
"Aw, buddy." You come over and gently tip his hat down, pulling the book from his arms. You slip a bookmark in it and place it on your desk for later.
He's much too heavy to lift him, so you drape a throw blanket over him and turn the lights off. You can do your stuff later.
Gaz thinks you're really cool. He likes to hang out with you and learn more about you. And you like learning more about him.
You're the type of friends to lay on his bed for hours saying nothing but happy in each other's presence. You could be on your computer and he can be reading. But each other's presence is what makes the interaction special, even if you don't talk.
Gaz is glad you came to the team. Your a good asset and a good friend.
Price 🥃
Your skills were what attracted Price to you first. He wanted you on his team once he heard of your level of skill. It would be nice to have two techies at his disposal.
But he didn't expect how well you'd get along with his soldiers. You were a tight knit group almost immediately, he couldn't ask for it differently.
He admires how much you care for the others, and how you're willing to use your skills to do seemingly silly things for the boys.
You're very smart, and he loves when you info dump on him. He's old enough that most of the topics you bring up he is familiar with. Maybe not a genius but you get used to certain terms and trades when you've been serving as long as he has.
And you're always surprised when he has a little tidbit of information to add to the conversation.
Now don't get me wrong, Price is very technologically aware. He can set off a missile by the flick of his wrist and shut down enemy hardware within an inch of his skin. But he doesn't know what to do when Facebook crashes.
Whether he overthinks it or he's just kinda stupid, you'll never know.
You might just be the hacker but he's always asking your opinion things. "These are electric doors, what would be the best way to get them open without attracting attention??"
Always gets your opinion.
He is the dad who will get you everything you need to further your hobby/job in the task force.
He always gets you new books and cool looking hardware.
"Knock knock."
You close your laptop halfway and pull off your headphones. "Come in."
Price smiles when he comes in, seeing you all set up on your bed. "Hey kiddo."
"Hey captain, need something?"
Price sat down and looked at what you were working on. "is that the new game Johnny has been ranting about you making him??"
"Yeah, it's just a simple code like the Google dinosaur game, I don't know why he's so excited 😅"
"Well, maybe these will help?" He pulls up a bag full of a couple books you'd been talking about buying of they weren't almost 50$ each.
"Price??" You pulled out the books. "Oh thank you."
"Any time." He ruffles your hair.
Literally the most supportive dad.
Sorry but you are his child now. He has adopted you into his little found family.
Again, he really likes letting you talk to him about what you're doing when you're on your computer.
And you've saved his butt more than once with your quick skills.
"I've got the wires set up y/n, it's your turn."
"I'm on, give me two seconds."
"Good, we don't want them to get alerted, Johnny and Gaz are near the west hall."
"Aaaaalright..." You are quiet for a moment. "Ok, cameras are blocked, you're free to move around."
"Copy that sergeant."
Like I said, supportive and protective dad.
You've been amazing support for the team both as a teammate and a friend. Overall he's really glad that you're a part of the team. Very valued, very loved.
He's glad he met you.
#simon ghost riley#call of duty#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#call of duty headcanons#ghost x reader#captain john price#simon ghost riley x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#captain price x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#platonic x reader#platonic ghost x reader#platonic#cod headcanons
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hi hey hello please read this its important info!!
about!!!
what is this? who am i?
hi hi hi!!! finally caved and made an nsfw/kink altblog. no i will not be linking this to my main blog even if u know me there. i doubt im ever gonna post anything thats just outright sexual here bc im acespec and not really into that stuff very much but like kink is such a fun topic so that'll come up a lot. also for the record, this is not a "men dni" page but i am generally sapphic.
call me Rose if you're subby or rosie if you want me to be ^-^ my pronouns are she/her, kit/kitty and ella (es.), i'm an 18y/o trans girl, and i've been diagnosed with adhd, autism and tourettes, among other things.
also, as of october 30th, 2024, i am a voice actress!!! my audios are posted on my reddit page!!! i don't do commissions (yet!) but im happy to take suggestions, so if you have an idea, shoot me an ask!!
and uhhh dunno what else i was gonna say. plspls send me asks i love the attention!!! i'll leave anons on until it becomes a problem~ anyways uh yeah! enjoy!
please read below the break for more information, especially if you plan on interacting with this blog!!
where you can reach me:
here, obviously, though tumblr dms are pretty bad. on the bright side this is like zero effort. you're on tumblr, im on tumblr, yay
simplex! you can click that link to add me, and if you don't have simplex it'll explain to you how to set it up, which is super duper easy. it's really really great privacy wise!! i would very much appreciate it if you send me a tumblr dm telling me your simplex display name so that i know who's who.
discord. my discord tag is the same as my url here. i do prefer simplex over discord though (mostly cuz i don't switch discord accounts on my phone bcuz it's a pain, and also bcuz of the privacy thing)
some links!
you can send me praise here!!!!
i write my stories on this neocities page now!
my cashapp is here!! it's essentially a virtual tip jar and if you appreciate my va work i would really really appreciate a tip, but please don't feel obligated to!
and here are some posts that are significant to me for one reason or another
this blog is a persona, a ranty short essay about identity, emotional freedom, masking and what it really means to know Me
my first real audio post!! oh my goddess this was so exciting!!!
on fear regarding human domestication guide, and on my hope to someday overcome it
regarding my roommate, myrrh
as of writing (2024-11-08), myrrh (murmur unless you have been given permission to use the prior! check baa pinned before interacting with bah!) and i are now comfortable interacting on tumblr. this is awesome because discussing kink as an interest is great and ba's my bestie, but i need to make this incredibly clear:
we are strictly platonic! we are not dating, we are not fwb, we do not do any kinky or sexual stuff together at all and never will. we chat about kink and sometimes make jokes about it at each other's expense, but we are friends who live together, not partners. do not insinuate otherwise, it makes both of us very uncomfortable.
An important note about dominance...
If you're exclusively a dom(me) you can skip this, otherwise I would appreciate it if you could at least skim it.
i do not like the expectation that i will be dominant at any given time, but I do enjoy showing some dominance sometimes, in some situations. I do enjoy being a brat, when I'm not already feeling really subby but want to be put in my place.
Hell, I do enjoy hypnotizing people. A lot, actually. I've been a hypnotist (in both a purely for fun way and occasionally a kink way depending on the person) for a relatively large number of people over the past several years, including in person for a handful of people, though much less so in the past year or so. I even make files now, and it's really really fun.
The problem is, I get burnt out very quickly if I force myself to be dominant when my brain isn't just doing it spontaneously. How do I know? In past relationships my partners saw me as a switch, and expected me to dominate them as much as they dominated me. I really can't do that. My dominance is as much within my control as my hyperfixations — I can make good use of it when it's there, but when it isn't there's nothing I can do to force it without causing myself lots of stress and burnout.
For that reason I'm not willing to be your domme or anyone else's. Instead of seeing me as a switch, please consider me a sub who can be dominant sometimes. I can't do it on demand, and I can't promise that I will be able to do it for any given person at any given time.
some notes for the page!
if ive tagged a post with #pull my trigger! then that means im ok with ppl playing with my brain in the notes!! otherwise, please just message me directly. im always okie with dms.
posts with #mean rosie on them have me teasing/messing with/bullying (in a /lh way) other people~ don't ask me to do this to you unless it's like a reblog responding to me doing that to you or smth. i don't usually enjoy showing dominance like that. sometimes im just the flavor of brat that likes to tease people. other times i do kinda feel a little bit dominant but. meh. even then ill pretty much always slip down into good girl mode on the spot if anyone shows any dominance towards me, usually even more so than i would normally.
posts tagged #angel rosie are ones that make me really happy~
#rosie rambles and #rosie rants go on serious/out of theme posts, with the latter being for emotionally heavy ones
#rosie speaks goes on all my audios~
plspls ask me about my triggers, my kinks, etcetc!!! i love getting told to answer questions >w<
dni list
any adult is free to view my page. minors, please leave. im serious. that said, there are certain things that will get you blocked from interacting with my page, so if your blog falls into any of these categories please kindly just look, don't touch.
agepl@y
terfs, and anyone else who doesn't think trans women are women
s!ssy, crossdressing and detrans themed pages. i have nothing against you for liking that stuff, but it makes me really uncomfortable because of some past experiences. please dni.
blank blogs, no age in bio or pinned, blogs that seem to just be spam reblogging everything, etc. sometimes this is case by case — "18+" is usually not chill, but "20s" or "30s" usually is. if you have nothing at all that's a nope. having a pfp is important, by the way.
blogs that just spam ai generated pictures. im sure youre chill, but ai pictures take the humanity out of your blog and frankly just look bad. posting one here or there on an otherwise human blog is thin ice, but i care a little less when there's other content too, as long as your other content is good.
my kinks, my limits my triggers
obviously im very very into hypnosis, especially intelligence play (aka dumbification), especially especially when there are bimbo themes involved. im also into everything on this list (in no particular order), but its definitely not exhaustive because theres things ive never tried before. please try new things on me!
light/medium bondage
pet play (as a kitty or a bunny, totes open to others but those are ones i luv)
spanking and other light pain, including light scratching/marking
being groped
praise and degradation, especially when its condescending
gentle doms (not that other styles are bad, but gentle+manipulative+condescending+possessive is my favorite)
other people picking my clothes
physical affection (headpats, scritchies, cuddles, kisses)
medical play (very specifically anesthesia, limited interest in other parts of it)
gaslighting
exhibitionism (especially when im being shown off)
behavior modification (especially clicker training!)
edging and denial
i have a voice kink for certain types of voices. generally my favorites are deep femme voices with really soft tones that get sharp to add emphasis to certain words like "drop" or "now". i also sometimes like higher softer masc voices, but deep or rough masc voices make me uncomfortable most of the time. if you want me to give you examples of hypnotists on the internet whose files i like, please send an ask or dm me.
when im in control (especially when it's about my audios!!!), i love being told how i make you feel, what you think of me, etc, so go on, feed my ego ;)
sooo yeah!! next are my soft limits — things i don't necessarily love but can tolerate in an otherwise fun context. please ask before acting on these because i would generally prefer to avoid them.
hypno audios narrated by text to speech — most of them are just grating and i can't relax with them.
"brainwashing" files that are just someone saying the same thing over and over with no induction or deepener or triggers or anything to put me under. i need to be in trance before that stuff does anything.
"hypnosis audios" that have loud music, or where the script is turned into a song. i've heard it done well maybe once or twice, i've heard it done wrong a million times.
hypnosis content as long form videos, especially when i need to read text in the video. my eyes get exhausted from staring at a screen for too long. i really really prefer audio, and text is good too, but videos longer than a couple minutes are rough.
and finally, here are my hard limits. please don't bring these things up. full stop. these are non-negotiable.
everything on my dni list
the drugs haloperidol/haldol, lorazepam/ativan and promethazine/phenergan
heavy pain
blood, knives/sharps, heavy scratching/marking
being asked/"forced" (i can and will block you if you're pushy) to send pictures or videos. audio is a hard maybe and very much depends on dysphoria at that moment and vibes. but yeah pictures and videos are a no-go.
being sent dick pics. please don't. im not into that. other pics are probably fine as long as you're chill.
extended degradation with no praise (i start having genuine self image issues past a certain point - i like being degraded, having my behavior changed, and then being praised as a reinforcement mechanism)
intox play, especially alcohol and weed. it scares me because of some past experiences. this is specifically about being intoxicated in the traditional sense (drunk/high), so like for example being sedated is something im cool with (and actually love the idea of)
feeding kink stuff
and here are some of my hypnotic triggers, in no particular order
"brain goes bye bye" melts my brain and makes it really hard to think
"control goes bye bye" takes control of my brain and my body away so that i just do as im told
"memories go bye bye" makes it really hard to remember anything for a while, which mostly just shuts my brain off. these first three are all from Miss Lilith, i love her files~ <3
"sleep" and "drop" both put me under, to varying degrees of success. might take multiple uses to really take me down deep, and really everything works better with a snap
"good girl" makes me happy and a tiny bit more obedient
"look here", "listen" and "focus" draw in my attention and make it hard to look away from/ignore whatever is being shown/said to me. they also usually make me more suggestible.
"lightning" makes me feel weak and dazed and when im like that "thunder" puts me under and gets me really floaty and fuzzy
"submit and obey" makes me obedient and super duper suggestible
i have a lot more, im just not remembering them all right now. theres probably dozens in my brain from all the files ive conditioned myself with over the years
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AMERICAN PROMETHEUS AND HIS ATHENA - CHAPTER ONE
Pairing: J. Robert Oppenheimer x Female Identifying! Reader Summary: In the fall of 1939, You are an incoming freshman at Berkeley. Despite your love for literature and the pressure of your parents, you begrudgingly enroll in a Physics course. There you meet J. Robert Oppenheimer; your professor turned into your best friend and most importantly, your lover. Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: Nothing major, minus the huge age gap. The reader is 18, and Oppenheimer is at least thirty. Everything is legal and consensual. If this bothers you, please do not read it; thank you! Notes: gonna be a long note, so strap in folks. so i have this tendency to get hyperfocused on a piece of media, get my little gremlin hands on any piece of media about it, devour said piece of media, and then poop out 5k+ words in under 24 hours due to my obsession. this happened two years ago with safin from no time to die, and let me just say that it goes to show that history is a sick cycle. not sick, I'm just literally insane. lol, anyways! here's some lore. last Sunday i saw oppenheimer and thought it was a masterpiece! i also love cillain murphy too, so that's a massive bonus. the next day, i bought american prometheus. i started reading it on tuesday, and finished it on Friday. if you haven't read it, please go read it. the book is impossible to put down, and a lot of characterization of robert and other characters come from the movie, but mainly the novel. this fic is heavily researched. this fic is also very dark too, and the content is...yeah. the age gap is very massive and while legal, very taboo, so please keep this in mind. there will be dark content in this story so be warned. trigger warnings will be in the beginning of every chapter. this is on my tumblr and ao3 as well. here is a playlist i made while writing this , if that does anything. my masterlist is also at work too; the new and updated version will be out next chapter. <a href="url">add yourself to the taglist if you are interested</a>. thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy.
There are people talking, and while they are close, their voices are nothing but mindless mutters.
Despite how much they had to drink, the buzz managed to slow their thoughts yet made them somewhat aware of their surroundings. If you tried, not like they really wanted to, you could point out every little detail around them–all small things, meaningless and unimportant, in the vast growing universe.
The uneven vintage ski portrait on Hatomi’s side of the room, the dim light covered by the French literature nights on the window sill, the light of the moon in boxy shapes across the aged wooden door, your feet sticking out underneath the blanket and the cool air bringing goosebump to your toes, the heat of your flashlight against your cheek; it’s all so small.
You’ve known Hatomi, your roommate at Berkeley, for the last week. A Japanese American from Davis, she’s a lover of literature like you, albeit you’re more into Russian and American literature than French. Both of you have concluded that you are different but are different enough to put those said differences aside to be friends. Hatomi, unlike you, is smiley and bright, the type to make a conversation not as awkward. She’s made many friends, some of whom are yours, and you’re thankful for her. In your orientation week at Berkeley, she’s helped you break out of your shell, and you’ve gone around campus and to parties to get out and meet people.
As thankful as you are for Haotmi, you are not very thankful about her bringing in some guy into the room without making it clear and having full-blow sex. Hatomi tries to keep her moans contained, but the slapping and grunts from the man beneath are not in any way contained or quiet. He’s as loud as possible, and you can identify him from one of the many parties you’ve been to, but all of them in your state become a gradual blur.
There’s a visible outline of the two through your quilt. Hatomi’s on top, and said the man is on the bottom with messy hair. He’s got a hand on her hip, and she nudges forward, her body moving forward. It makes you feel even lonelier than you already feel, but it's not intentional, but it’s certainly a jab. Hatomi cries his name, an emphasis on the end of his name.
You haphazardly try to catch his name, but end up forgetting it, the alcohol from earlier helping sing you to sleep.
–
It soon became a cycle—the whole lot of it.
You’d wake up at seven for your eight in the morning English class. Then you’d head to your philosophy class from nine-thirty to ten-thirty before heading to lunch at eleven. After that break, then comes your Greek class from twelve to one. Then it’s physics.
It’s not that you don’t like physics. Actually, you love it—the concept is fascinating. The movement, gravity, and being a small thing in the grand scheme of the infinite universe is a topic you could dive into for hours on end. And not to mention, you have a burning hatred for the mathematics of it. You know you can do introductory algebra, but that’s where you draw the line. Calculus and all of that is too advanced. You can do it; at the bare minimum.
Your class is not that big. It’s your smallest class with ten students, all intrigued by a fascinating professor.
The first time you met him, he stood by the chalkboard with a huff of smoke following behind him. He wore a dark gray tweed suit and had thick, coarse hair which was wild, maintained with gel. He was tall but not towering and rather slender. With the bluest eyes you had ever seen, you knew that this man was a character; not to mention, he also looked intelligent.
And that he was.
Dr.Oppenheimer was the reason you started actually to love physics. Not like, love. He was not an easy teacher; he was complex but rewarding. He took the concept of physics and made it more interesting than it already was, adding another dimension to it that you didn’t think was possible.
Instead of the class being a lecture, Oppenheimer discussed the fundamental forces and philosophy. He, like you, enjoyed how physics interacted with the classical world. With a cigarette in one hand and a piece of chalk in another, and in his velvety voice, Oppenheimer taught something along the lines of the cosmic universe or the quantum tunnel and would look to his students for their input, arguments, questions, or their voice to the topic.
You know, or thought he knew, that you weren’t the best at physics, but could always add a philosophical or insight on how physics affects both in the modern and classical world. Sometimes in class, the two of you would dive into a conversation. Oppenheimer would give you a serious loo, staring directly at you with his bright blue eyes. You could have sworn they were the bluest eyes you had ever seen, in which you were. As you challenge you, Oppenehiemr would stare, blowing the occasional puff of smoke. You could see him smile, but maybe that was a part of your imagination.
Physics was complicated, but not only did you enjoy the class for Oppenheimer, but you also look at Oppenheimer. You would not have said it initially, but he did come and was attractive to you. He looked serious, older, and cold; which all remained true, but he was also intelligent, and that was the most attractive thing to you. His intelligence made him overall even more handsome than he already was. With this new found elevation, you soon began to find everything he did attractive. It became a slight distraction, but it was enough to make you leave class with pink cheeks and smile to yourself all giddy. The fantastical thoughts of “what if” played in your mind, making going to sleep a little easier than it usually it.
–
On Monday, Oppenheimer deemed that your class was heading into the “most brutal” and “nightmare-causing” fundamental force of Physics; Quantum Mechanics.
He also declared it was one of his favorite micro topics in Physics and, in his mind, “not too difficult if you truly look into it.”
Everyone got a horrible gut feeling in their stomachs.
Oppenheimer was blunt and did not sugarcoat, which was a fair warning to his class. Quantum Mechanics took everything that was horrible about Physics and made it increasingly worse. Wavefunctions, Eigenstates, Quantum Measurement, and all the new equations hit you like a frictional force. And it began to show on your assignments.
Your normal average in the class was an A- (with Oppenheimer giving you an E for “exceptional effort”) hanging off the side of a cliff, but this new topic dragged your average down with massive magnetic force. Soon, your average became a B-. Homework assignments and reading responses leaned towards a B, while your test and quizzes averaged at failing or border failing. You felt relieved that one of your quizzes on Bra-Ket Notation came back as a C+.
Oppenheimer was writing on the board, finishing a Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle equation on the board. He looked at the clock, knowing that class was going to end soon. Putting his chalk down and burning the small amount of his cigarette on the ashtray, he reached for a large stack of his papers. Most had red handwriting with circles, arrows, and question marks. A heavy wave of anxiety hit the class as a perpetual sigh raised.
You could have sworn Oppenheimer stared directly at you. The vast blue eye started to haunt you, but you convinced yourself it was your mind playing tricks. You turned to one of your neighborhoods and sighed, shaking your head.
“I understand you are all eager to receive back the recent test on the basic equations of Quantum Mechanics. I have taken my time grading each one and you will see why it looks like a long time,” Oppenheimer noted, with a tinge of dark comedy and sarcasm in his voice. He didn’t look up at the class as he walked around, gently putting each paper on the desk. Each paper he put down made a student who was having a good day a very not good day.
Between the heavy sighs and whispers between the students, you gulped as Oppenheimer passed your desk. He looked down for a split second and put your paper down. He pointed to the red writing right where you had written your name before moving on. Gathering yourself, you grabbed the test, and not your shock, was disappointed.
Out of forty-five points, you had only gotten nine. It was a new low you had hit in the class. It seemed like it would keep getting lower. Everything was far from right, and he gave those points only because you tried by writing a passage by each equation explaining what you had tried to replicate, knowing it was very wrong.
You skimmed the front, noticing the red writing on top. He wrote your name in cursive, and you would hear him say it, asking you to “please” meet him.
And then the bell rang. People talked amongst themselves and gathered their things as they headed out of the classroom. You sat there and sighed, visibly upset. You weren’t going to cry, but you felt like it. You tried not to show it as you began to gather your books, covering the physics test, preparing to get up.
“Y/n.”
You freeze and look up. Oppenheimer has been leaning on his desk, looking at you like a dashing Spectre. He puts his hands in his pockets and slowly begins to walk towards you.
“Is this a good time to talk?”
Hearing the word talk made your stomach turn. You look up at him and clasp your hands together, nodding. You feel your left leg begin to shake.
“Yes, Dr.Oppenheimer.”
Oppenheimer made his way over and stood beside you, leaning on the side of a desk, looking down at you. He took a quick glance at your shaking leg before looking back at you.
“You’re not in trouble.”
You didn’t verbally acknowledge him, but you took a contained sigh and stopped shaking your thigh, paying full attention to the attractive older man.
“I want to preface this conversation that you, Y/n, are one of this class’s most active and enjoyable students. Your participation and observation add onto the lesson, helping others around you, and even myself, learn more about Physics,” Oppenheimer said with high praise. He had a regalness to his soft voice. You felt your cheeks burn, containing your smile as you quietly thanked him. You watched his hands fidget inside of his pants pocket.
“As talented and educated as you are in Academia, especially Physics, I notice you don’t do well on tests and exams. Everything else is excellent, and your effort is always there. However, with tests,” Oppenheimer moved his hand downwards, “It’s all negative. When I got your first test, I found it hard to believe it was your work. But then it all made sense.”
“Now understand, Y/n, I am not mad or upset. I am worried. I can see there is an act of force, which is your anxiety. I do believe this is something we can work on–” Oppenheimer clearly explained. He saw your shoulders lower, relieve your tension had disappeared, “--Together, outside of the academic setting.”
“Like one-on-one?” You questioned.
Oppenheimer nodded, “Yes, just the two of us. It would be an hour and a half to an hour, nothing more and nothing less.”
Hearing “just the two of us” made your mind go to wild places. You bit your tongue and squeezed your clasped hands together. You smiled, “Yes, of course. I think this would help a lot.”
“Now tell me, what is your availability? I understand you are busy.”
You shrugged your shoulders. You were busy but also could make time for a lot of spare time.
“I can do any time work, preferably if you are okay with Friday afternoons,” You brainstormed, thinking about your schedule, “I know you teach a graduate class in the morning, and I have Greek at the same time.”
Oppenheimer furrowed his eyebrows, intensely studying your appearance.
“Friday afternoons?” He questioned, “Don’t you want to be with your friends and not have to worry about work? I understand your drive, Y/n, but I don’t want it to mix with your limited downtime. I hear you are an excellent student, and this is a very fixable grade. I rather you create a balance than an offset.
While an average first-year would rather skip meeting with a Professor on Friday Afternoons, it didn’t bother you. Getting your grade up in Physis was very important. Education in your family was everything and meant a lot to you. Seeing a C with A’s and A-’s made you feel incomplete. You needed to feel complete.
“Dr.Oppenheimer, thank you for your concern. I insist that Fridays work as well. Mondays through Tuesdays, I’m either studying or leading other study groups for my other classes. If you are worried about my social life, I can assure you that I do get out of the dorm and library with my friends,” You reassured the older man, “Besides, the whole party scene is really not my scene. I’ve seen enough parties at Berkeley to be okay with missing them. If Fridays don’t work, I will work with your time.”
“Fridays work well for me as they work well for you,” Dr.Oppenheimer concluded. He looked at the clock above his desk before looking at you, “How do Fridays at 5 pm sound?”
“Perfect timing, Dr.Oppenheimer. Shall we meet here?”
Oppenheimer rubbed his index and middle finger on the temple of his head, “Well if you are comfortable, I’d rather congregate at my house rather than the classroom since we will be out of the Academic Day.”
Taken aback by the bold move, your lips made a subtle “o” shape. You squeezed your hands together, contemplating. His house, where he slept, ate, and did other things that were not fit for the academic setting? This made your imagination run wild—the idea of being in his house, just you and him, fed into your fantasy.
“My house is on Shasta Road. It’s right off the campus. It’s a short walk. However, if you are not comfortable, especially late at night walking home alone, then I can–”
“Dr.Oppenheimer,” You insisted. He stopped speaking and looked at you, waiting for you to speak.
You stuttered, feeling the heat up your throat to your face, “It is okay. Friday at 5 pm at your house is perfect. The walk will help me clear my mind before tackling the equations.”
Oppenheimer studied your features for a second before coughing and putting his hands together, “So, it’s settled. We will meet tomorrow then. Thank you for your time, y/n.”
As Oppenheimer began to head back to his desk, you stood and gathered your books, ready to head to your Greek class. You could feel how hot your face was, but you couldn’t imagine how red and embarrassing you looked.
“Thank you, Dr.Oppenheimer.
Scurrying to leave the classroom in a flustered state, one of your books falls over. It makes a loud slamming noise into the ground. You’ve got a solid amount of books in your hand, varying in topic and weight. Turning around, you are about to awkwardly bend down to pick up the book, but Oppenheimer has beaten you to it. His presence scared you at first. He’s holding the ivory, aged book, examining the cover and back. You stand two inches away from him as you cradle your books, not wanting to say something to disrupt him.
“Sentimental Education. Is this for class or pleasure?” Oppenheimer inquired. He looked back at you as he placed it on top of your books. He saw the one below, your Greek textbook, was sticking out and about to fall. He made sure to push it in to balance the books and make sure you didn't fall over.
Not that you were complaining about falling over since he would have to catch you. You cursed at your wild imagination.
You let out a long uhm before declaring it was for class. More specifically, your English class of The French Adventure: Word, Sound, and Image taught by Mr.Chevalier. But it was unimportant. It was a good book, albeit obscure. Oppenheimer probably thought you were some idiot for both failing a test and reading some silly book. He probably wondered why you were even in a physics class to begin with.
“Do you like it?” He questioned.
“Yes, a lot,” You expressed, “It’s the second book we’ve read, but so far my favorite. It was ahead of its time,” You go red, “And even for this time. I don’t know what I’m saying even, my parents made me read it in high school.”
Oppenheimer made a noise of approval, placing his hands on his hips, “Well, it shows that your parents wanted you to be well-rounded, and here you stand at one of the best public universities in the world. So I would say you do know what you are saying since I fully agree.”
The compliment made you want to make some happy noise, but you bite your lip. You nodded your head and naked it, knowing it came out as a mumble. Everything you said felt super embarrassing.
“Y/n, I understand you have class,” Oppenheimer cut to the point, “But if you ever want a book recommendation, come to me. I’ve been looking for someone who understands.”
“Understand?” You asked, dumbfounded.
“Someone who both understands and enjoys art.”
“Oh,” is all you can manage to say. You smile and hold your books closer, “Well, I should-”
“You should-” Oppenheimer highlighted, hands on his hips, “I shouldn’t keep you.”
You wanted to protest that he should, but you didn’t. As you made your way to the door, you looked back. There he stood in his slender and regal form, hands on his hips. For a cold man who never looked happy, he did. You could have sworn his eyes had a spark to them that made them brighter. You felt brighter too.
On your way out, he froze and looked at you again, and gave a small smile.
You smiled back.
–
It’s 4:50pm.
Your mother always said it was better to be very early than to be very late. Those words guided you through life, following you from home to high school to Berkeley.
After class, you spent the hour getting ready. Taking a shower, you made sure to look your best with low effort. You didn’t want it to appear that you were trying to look good, even though you wore it. Putting on something very casual, you made sure to wear yourself nicely and even added a sweet touch of Chanel Coco perfume that your father had gotten for you in France for your high school Graduation.
You walk up the hill and spot the house, recognizing the numbers on the mall box. The house is well sized and has the architecture of a craftsman. It’s hidden by numerous large plants and bushes, which you take a second to admire as you walk to the door. Eventually, you reach the door and hesitate to knock. Check your watch, it’s 5:52pm. If he’s busy, you can wait.
There’s no point in knocking since you can hear the lock on the door unlock. As you put your hands behind your back, the door opens and it reveals Oppenheimer. He looks weirdly normal and this comforts you. He swaps his flannel suit jacket for a white oxford button up with dark slacks. The top button of the shirt is unbuttoned, and in one hand he has a cigarette, in which he is trying to successfully hide.
“Dr.Oppenheimer,” You greeted with a small smile, squeezing your hands behind your back.
You could swear you saw a small quirk at the side of Oppenheimer’s mouth. He stands to the side.
“Y/n, welcome,” He greets. You quietly thank in as you walk in, standing to the side as you clutch onto your brown leather alligator bag with your textbook and notebook.
“How was the walk?”
“Not bad. It’s nice outside. I’m sorry if I’m early, it’s a bad habit-”
“No need to apologize. It is a good habit. It will serve you well,” Oppenheimer praised once again as he led you into the kitchen. You hadn't been alone with him, let alone in his own house, but he was different. Around others, he was cold and calculated to a tee. But around you, something felt warm and strangely comforting.
When walking to the kitchen, you catch a glimpse of his house. It feels rather empty, and in a way, very melancholic.
The kitchen is simple and small. For a California one story however, the kitchen can fit more than two, maybe three.
“Sit,” Oppenheimer subtly commands. It’s not an intentional command, but upon hearing this, you immediately sit down on the nearest chair. As you pull out your textbook and notebook with some pens and pencils, you can see Oppenheimer rummaging through the fridge and grabbing two glasses.
“Do you drink?”
You're in the middle of opening your notebook. You look down and lick your lips.
“Yes.”
He doesn’t respond and proceeds to make whatever drink he is making. You sit there and swing your legs back and forth, waiting in silence minus the shaking and pouring.
“Speak to me,” Oppenheimer announces. You look at his back as he makes the drink. Once again, he’s slender, but yet strong and vibrant in his appearance, “Go to the first page of your test. Read the equation.”
You feel lucky Oppenheimer’s turned since your cheeks, like yesterday, have gone to a light pink.
Obeying his words that feel like a command that you are more than happy to accept, you grab your test and open to the first page to read the first question.
“Consider a particle in a one-dimensional potential well of width of L and infinite potential barriers at its edges. The potential inside the well is given by V(x)=0 for 0<x<L0<x<L and V(x)=∞V(x)=∞ for x < 0 x<0 and x>Lx>L,” You read out, “The Hamiltonian operator for this system is H; where x is the mass of the particle. Find the allowed energy eigenvalues and corresponding eigenfunctions for this system.”
“A fundamental. Now, tell me your answer.”
You get your pen and calculator out, placing it at your side. “I started with the Time-Independent Schrödinger Equation and substituted v(x) for the kinetic energy term. Then I tried to solve and it, uhm-”
Not only were the calculations for your test both difficult to answer and hard to process, but having Oppenheimer stand right behind you further proved to be a brain block. He was only an inch away from you as he had leaned to look at your paper, a hand on the back of your sheet which scraped your warm back. You had been so caught on the equation that you hadn't noticed he was an inch behind you, breathing down your neck. Thank god there had been a table since your legs began to shake; a combination of raw anxiety and pure adrenaline.
You started to write the equation into your calculator, pressing down on each button. Scribbling away at your notebook, you felt his warm breath down your throat. Just as you wrote the solution, you felt him smell behind your ear and into your hair. You had sprayed some perfume there, which was a habit of yours. He leaned into, gentle and careful not to touch you, taking in the airy and smooth feminine scent. Not protesting, you finished your solution and let him bask, all while basking his cold yet comforting presence.
“The corresponding eigenfunctions are: ∣ψn⟩= Asin(nπxL)∣ψ n ⟩ =Asin( Lnπx ),” You gulped. You felt his warm presence move back, yet his hand remained on the chair. You pushed a piece of hair back, “I guess it’s not too different from my old answer. It’s right, it’s just-”
“The math piece of it,” Oppie pointed out, “Well, there was no issue here. With your calculator of course.”
“Yes,” You chuckled to yourself and looked at the big device. It really did help.
“Use it more,” Oppenheimer said, “Don’t be scared too. Math is not everyone’s strong suit; including mine.”
You smiled at him as he sat in the chair next to you.
“I don’t know if you drank from our conversation earlier, but I made you a martini,” Oppenheimer said. You looked at it and picked up the drinking, examining the liquid.
“Oh, thank you. I do, just the…better stuff,” You thanked with a small confession. You took a sip and let the strong liquid ooze down your throat. It was excellent, in which you proceeded to drink more.
Oppenheimer leaned back in his chair and smiled to himself. He wanted to make sure you didn’t see that, but you did.
For the next hour, the two of you talked about your test. Each question you read out, and he helped you with the math, but overall you were able to solve most of it. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress. He seemed pleased, and you were as well.
Once you had finished going over the test, you sighed and leaned back leisurely from both Oppenheimer's presence Martini.
“Well, thank you, Dr.Oppenheimer. This has been short, yet helpful.”
He crossed his arms as he also leaned back, “Of course, I’m pleased to hear.”
There was a silence before you looked at your watch and grabbed your books.
“It’s 6pm. I’m sure you’ve got things to do, I should go-”
“I’ve only got dinner to make. Chicken, peas, and potatoes,” Oppenheimer said. He smoked another cigarette, which made you wonder how many he smoked a day. You focused on his chapped lips and the way they lightly held the cigarette, sucking in and dragging out ashen smoke.
“Say, would you like to stay for dinner? There's plenty for two.”
The task made you blink a few times to make sure this wasn’t one of your fantastical thoughts late at night as a way to soothe you to bed. You opened your lips in an attempt to create a coherent response.
“I can make you another Martini, even show you.”
You knew you were red, but it clearly to him did not matter.
“Yes, I’d love-would be happy to stay for dinner, Dr.Oppenheimer.” You said, very flattered.
A slow exhale released a veil of smoky allure, as if the very air itself surrendered to Oppenheimer’s fiery elegance.
“If you are staying over for dinner from now on, please, call me Robert.”
#carrie writes#cillain murphy#cillian murphy x reader#oppenheimer#oppenheimer x reader#robert j oppenheimer#robert j oppenheimer x reader#cillian murphy imagine#cillian murphy fanfiction
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Hey there! I hope summer is treating you well 🌞I am currently crying over the fact that I didnt get to see Lizzo at a festival 30 km away from me last week and that I won't see Harry tomorrow in Warsaw, so I decided to distract myself with making this list 😅 I hope that next time I'll be able to tell you that I menaged to get Taylor tickets, so please keep your fingers crossed for me 🥰
To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!
To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.
Also, please, mind the writers’ warnings!
🌊JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN🌊
it's what you make it and and honey, i'll make it all okay by @seresinhangmanjake
↳ two-shot, part of oh, baby universe which is an amazing dad!jake series and you should totally give it a try
you're safe now and bite me by @seresinsweetie
↳ two-shot, 18+, enemies to friends to lovers, i want a weighted blanket for my birthday this year and by weighted blanket i mean jake seresin on top of me, please and thank you
crossing all the lines by @//seresinsweetie
↳ one-shot, 18+, not it's time for a rooster x hangman x reader threesome and it's as hot as it sounds 🥵
hungman by @ddejavvu
↳ one-shot, 18+, roommate!camboy!jake, do i have to say more? whenever i see Daisy's url on my dash, i drop everything i'm doing and go read, such a talented writer!
a love you don't find everyday by @//beccaanne814
↳ series, this story has kept me on my toes and then surprised me in the best way possible, amazing fic 💕
head on your chest, heart in your hands by @jupitercomet
↳ one-shot, soft!jake has a special place in my heart
same 'ol situation by @topguncortez
↳ one-shot, 18+, roommate!jake and it's so good!!
🌊BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW🌊
how could i forget by @roosterforme
↳ one-shot, I put this particular fic here because it was the first one I read in June but I recommend going through Emily's whole masterlist. I could go on and on about how talented she is 👏I start every single one of my days by reading one of her works. Like literally every day. Thank you for making my morning more bearable 💕
give me your hand and here is my heart by @sometimesanalice
↳ two-shot, 18+, this is a part of a bigger universe that I love with my whole being. please, do yourself a favour and go read it all!
hey, salior by @//sometimesanalice
↳ one-shot, 18+, i am YELLING
warm blood by @notroosterbradshaw
↳ one-shot, another phenomenal fic from another phenomenal author 👏👏 keep slaying!
home and viva la vegas by @honeysimagines
↳ two-shot, i read this like four times in the last month, my love for those fics is out of control
i'll guide you by @bradshawsbitch
↳ one-shot, 18+, i get dizzy and warm all over just by thinkign about this fic 👀
you left your name on my lips by @blurredcolour
↳ one-shot, beautiful fic!
love and loss by @bradshawsbaby
↳ one-shot, what a stunning piece. we all need this kind of support in our lives
if i knew it all then, would i do it again? by @ofstoriesandstardust
↳ one-shot, part of the same mistakes-verse which is a god tier series. this one left me speechless
i was supposed to sweat you out by @theharddeck
↳ one-shot, 18+, friends with benefits, simply delicious 👏👏
i think i love you by @thewulf
↳ one-shot, best friends to lovers, i loved this so very much
where do we go? by @thatlovinfeelin
↳ series, 18+, amazing fic, beautiful story!
salt air, and the rust on your door by @daniellarussoo
↳ one-shot, just a sweet little husband!bradly fic 😌
to love and be loved by @callsigncherub
↳ one-shot, i seriously debated jumping into the sea after reading this one
all consuming by @inklore
↳ one-shot, 18+, Lauren's back at it again with a bloody banger
🌊JAVY 'COYOTE' MACHADO🌊
a little bit of fun and it's not rotten work (not if it's you) by @sushiwriterhere
↳ two-shot, 18+, javy x reader x jake fics, this is just great, i love everything about those stories
the double negative effect by @beyondthesefourwalls
↳ one-shot, there are not enough javy fics out there so i cherish every single one i find, especially ones as good as this one!
training accident by @//foreverrandomwritings
↳ one-shot, another great javy story!
🌊ROBERT 'BOB' FLOYD🌊
supernova by @laracrofted
↳ one-shot, 18+, bob x reader x pheonix threesome, a dream come true 😫
the worst date by @lovingperfectionsblog
↳ one-shot, love this one 💕
the wingman by @//roosterforme
↳ one-shot, 18+, okay we all aready know how much i adore Emily's work but i just had to put this one here cause bob needs all the love he can get!!
shut up and dance with me by @beccaanne814
↳ one-shot, man, the things i'd so for him to dance with me
sick day by @writingdumpster
↳ one-shot, bob's a little bit stuborn here but we're gonna let it slip just this once
girl in a coffee shop by @ohgodnotagainn
↳ one-shot, coffee shop!au, bob as a barista!!!! yes yes yes that all i need in life
🌊MICKEY ' FANBOY' GARCIA🌊
opposites attract by @foreverrandomwritings
↳ one-shot, husband!mickey and he's just so 🥺🥺
🌊STEVE HARRINGTON🌊
all the time by @bookshelf-dust
↳ one-shot, friends to lovers and fake dating -> ✨cheff's kiss✨
cardigan by @supernovafics
↳ one-shot, professor!steve x professor!reader, angst with happy ending, great work 👏
car kisses by @iridescentprose
↳ one-shot, there is just something so kissable about steve driving a car. i would, too, risk my life to pour some love on that man
this fic by @spicysix
↳ one-shot, being stuck in an elevator may not be an ideal situation but it's whole other thing when steve harrington is there with you
steve-o by @bettysupremacy
↳ one-shot, i just adore this steve
midnight love by @loveshotzz
↳ one-shot, 18+, fuck boy!steve but we fall for him anyway
this fic by @lovebugism
↳ one-shot, 18+, SO DAMN BLOODY GOOD i can't even
this fic by @forever-rogue
↳ one-shot, broke my heart and put it right back together
bad for ussiness by @upsidedownwithsteve
↳ series, 18+, enemies to lovers is the superior trope and this fic is the perfect example, my favourite steve fic honestly
a good dream by @solarluvs
↳ one-shot, 18+, the fact that this will never happen to me in real life is just criminal
keep trying by @lilacletter
↳ one-shot, 18+, an obligatory baby making fic™, they just hit different
cool about it by @mysticmunson
↳ one-shot, if you feel like getting your heart broken, that's a fic for you :')
this love by @forevermoreharrington
↳ one-shot, 18+, a masterpiece really
🌊EDDIE MUNSON🌊
brain like a sieve by @munsster
↳ one-shot, AHHHHHHHHHH is all i have to say on this 😅
sunscreen and chlorine and blue raspberry syrup by @eiightysixbaby
↳ two-shot, 18+, lifeguard!eddie, perfect summer read, just like ice cream on a hot day 🙌
something like this by @taintedcigs
↳ one-shot, a good old truth or dare fic, just what we all love
love me tender by @oneforthemunny
↳ one-shot, 18+, janitor!eddie x teacher!reader, what a stunning piece of work that is 🥺
hot rod by @shamevillain
↳ one-shot, 18+, you will need a shower after reading this 🥵
🌊RHETT ABBOTT🌊
right where i want you by @//sushiwriterhere
↳ one-shot, 18+, sort of enemies to lovers, i am so normal about this 🙂
hell on heels (part 2) by @strawhbrrries
↳ two-shot, 18+, that bloody cowboy will send us all straight to hell
wildflower, widefire by @sebsxphia
↳ series, 18+, the perfect balance between sweet and sexy 😌😌
the ferris wheel by @lewmagoo
↳ one-shot, i just wanna share funnel cake with rhett abbott, is that too much to ask???
invisible string by @wkndwlff
↳ one-shot, 18+, BEAUTIFUL 😭😭
#anna's fic recs#fic recs#june 2023 fic recs#top gun fic recs#jake seresin x reader#bradley bradshaw x reaer#stranger things fic recs#steve harrington x reader#eddie munson x reader
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Hello again!! I'm the anon that requested the demon slayer x low self esteem reader headcanons! And let me tell you i was not disappointed!! You truly are an amazing writer, that being said and I really hope you don't mind but I want to request more demon slayer x reader headcanons 😭 this time I would like if you could write for zenitsu, tanjirou and obanai? (separately ofc, if you dont write for obanai thats totally fine and you can just do zenitsu and tanjiro!) With (preferably fem) reader that loves complimenting them and showing them how much they appreciate being in a relationship with them? Giving them gifts, baking for them, making them handmade presents and love letters, etc. Just like total wifey material lol. I really don't want to overwork you or anything like that so seriously take as much time as you need with this request!!
-🫀 Anon
✨ 𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔, 𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎, & 𝐎𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐒/𝐎 ✨
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
hi there again!! aww your last request was very fun to write!! thanks so much for requesting :) i hope you enjoy these headcanons as much as i do!! (it’s a bit short bc i’m sleepy oops) ఌ︎
♬♪ -> lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıı my urls aren’t working idk why :,(
zenitsu agatsuma
— zenitsu is easily flustered by your constant compliments. he loves hearing how amazing he is, though he might blush and stutter in response. every compliment boosts his confidence and makes him more determined to be a better partner.
— he adores any kind of gift you give him. whether it’s a small trinket or something meaningful, zenitsu treasures it dearly. he’s always excited and a bit surprised when you hand him something, often making a big deal out of it.
— zenitsu enjoys baking with you, though he might need some guidance since he’s not the best cook. he loves eating the treats you make and will often try to help by taste-testing or offering to clean up.
— he’s deeply touched by handmade presents, often keeping them close. zenitsu sees them as symbols of your love and effort, and he might even show them off to friends, proudly declaring them as gifts from his amazing partner.
— receiving love letters from you is something zenitsu cherishes. he reads them over and over, keeping them in a special box or notebook. he might even carry a small note from you as a good luck charm.
tanjiro kamado
— tanjiro is moved by your compliments and genuine appreciation. he’s humble, so your words are a great boost to his spirit. he often reciprocates with heartfelt words of his own, praising your kindness and support.
— tanjiro values the thought behind the gifts you give him. whether it’s a new piece of clothing or a personal keepsake, he sees it as a reflection of your deep care and consideration.
— baking with you is a joyful experience for tanjiro. he loves the process of making treats together and sharing them. he also appreciates your baking skills and often praises your talent in the kitchen.
— tanjiro is deeply appreciative of any handmade presents. he sees them as a tangible reminder of your affection and is likely to keep them in a special place, showing them to anyone who asks about them.
— your love letters are cherished by tanjiro. he reads them with a gentle smile, taking comfort in your words. he might even write letters of his own in response, expressing his feelings and gratitude.
obanai iguro
— obanai is a bit reserved with his emotions, but your compliments make him feel deeply appreciated. while he might not always show it, he values your kind words and takes them to heart.
— he has a strong appreciation for well-thought-out gifts. if you give him something that reflects his interests or needs, he will be grateful and keep it close. he might also be a bit shy in expressing his gratitude.
— obanai is more likely to prefer observing or assisting rather than actively participating in baking. however, he does appreciate the effort and enjoys the results of your baking.
— handmade gifts are significant to obanai. he sees them as a symbol of your commitment and effort, and he is likely to keep them in a special place, even if he doesn’t always openly express his feelings.
— obanai values the thoughtfulness behind love letters, even if he doesn’t show it outwardly. he might keep them in a private place and read them in moments of solitude, finding comfort in your words.
requests : open
#demon slayer#zenitsu agatsuma#tanjiro kamado#obani iguro#anime headcanons#fanfic#love headcanons#gift giving#baking together#handmade gifts#love languages#anime couples#demon slayer fanfic#relationship goals#they’re the cutest i swear#love u forever 🫀 anon!!#yuff7e
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Play Bratty games....
Summary: ...Win bratty prizes. Did you really think you'd get by running your mouth to a god like that without him putting you back in your place?
𓆩⟡𓆪 Pairing: Fem!Reader x Whiro (Jongho)
𓆩⟡𓆪Genres/Aus: Against the Tide Verse (its an Au in an AU-), Non Idolverse, Smut
𓆩⟡𓆪Tws: Swearing, Jealousy
𓆩⟡𓆪Sws: (Everything is Safe, Sane, and Consensual), Bratty Reader, Brat tamer Whiro, Spanking, Slight Objectification, Degradation, Pierced Cock, Unprotected Sex, Claimin, Rough Sex, Creampie
𓆩⟡𓆪Rating: Explicit/Mature (18+)
𓆩⟡𓆪WC: 600+
𓆩⟡𓆪A/n: For any of my non AtTiny who want to know who Whiro is and how he's tied to Jongho...idk maybe read a bombastic in progress work of art that explains it all cough cough.
This was a popcorn commission from the lovely @atiny-dazzlinglight that I finished a bit ago but life happened and I didn't post it till now. Sorry for the hold up and I hope you and all my AtTiny can enjoy~
𓆩⟡𓆪AO3| Taglist Form (Please make sure your urls are updated and able to actually be tagged) | Commission Sheet𓆩⟡𓆪
𓆩⟡𓆪Network Ping- @kwritersworld| @k-vanity | @cultofdionysusnet𓆩⟡𓆪
𓆩⟡𓆪©atiny-piratequeen. do not repost, translate, or use my works𓆩⟡𓆪
তততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত
“You’re quiet now. What’s wrong? Nothing to say?” the growl of a man’s voice cut into the sounds of skin slapping against skin in the room. A tattooed arm is woven around your frame, with a firm grip placed on your throat as soft lips find their way to your ear.
“C’mon~ I want to hear you mouth off again. Bring up the flower boy, isn’t that your favorite thing to do to rile me up? Mmm? Tell me again how you’ll just ask him to fuck you since I won't ‘give you enough attention’, was it? C’mon baby, I’m dying to hear it.”
“W-Whi…ro-” You gasp out, clenching around him as he sped up the moment you force more than moans past your lips. Your eyes flutter, rolling back as your mouth falls open. His balls slap against the curve of your ass, and you have half a mind to be flustered by how wet it sounded.
How many times had he come inside of you since he’d pinned you here, growling filth into your ear and pinning you with your hips propped up by pillows?
“Be a good cock sleeve and sit right there. I’ll do all the work, since you think I’m not being a good enough man for you. We’ll play a game. If you can get your ass up after I’m done with you, I’ll relent and admit flower boy is a better lay.”
The same bratty side of you that got you in this position in the first place wanted to try your luck, see if you could run your mouth, but you’d ended up on your stomach faster than you had the chance to think of a witty comeback, a thick finger pushing into you as he chuckled.
“You’re sopping back here. Does pissing me off make your pussy that much of a mess?”
“F-fuck you.” You hiss half-heartedly. He arched a brow, laughing to himself before placing a thunderous slap on your ass. You cry out and moan brokenly, eyes widening in surprise while he puts another finger in, stretching and curling them deep inside of you, his teeth grazing over your ear.
“No, no. Tonight, you don’t get to. You get to be a perfect little breed slut.”
And that’s how you ended up here, your hands fisted in the sheets, a blissed-out smile on your face as Whiro fucks into you, every thrust making the tip of his pierced cock kiss your cervix. His fingers flex against your throat and you almost cry out in need when you feel him loosen his grip, even if it's slightly.
His weight on you, his growls in your ear, and the tattooed arm around your frame holding you were the only things keeping you grounded. He chuckled, pinning your hips with his own, speeding up and growling into your ear as your eyes fluttered closed.
“Yes, yes, yes right there thank you!” You finally feel yourself clench and clamp down, your body trembling like a leaf as he pinned you with his hips, groaning loudly and cumming deep inside of you. He stayed settled, hips slowly working, milking every last drop of his cum inside of you with hard, powerful thrusts before slowly coming to a stop, smiling down at your spent and fucked out form.
“Thank…you…thank you…ah~”
Whiro grinned, canines flashing. He wanted to ask if you felt like getting up and going to Geb like you’d teasingly threatened to do before this all started, but he took one look at you, sleepily kissing and nuzzling his palm, and decided he’d let you rest without teasing.
At least this time.
তততততততততততত Taglist তততততততততততত
@kimnamshiks @atiny-dazzlinglight @angel0taiyo @jacksons-goddess-gaia @gettin-a-lil-hanse @yunhofingers @seomisaho @ateezwonderland @smallfrye @spooo00oky @shymexican @stardragongalaxy @horizonmoonfics @delphinium3000 @xuxibelle @twistedsiren @soluvcore @dreamyinception-world @justatiredhuman @serialee @phoenixcode21 @yungiland @shingisimp @drunk-on-hwa @perfectlysane24 @asyamonet22 @sanraes @bangteezbaby (pspsp bby please refill the list taglist), @universe-sighted @netcookie @skmoonchild @babiebumm @jess-1404 @violetwinters @xlilehx
#fie writres#kwritersworldnet#cultofdionysusnet#k-vanity#against the tide#whiro oneshot#kpop smut#ateez smut#jongho smut#technically-#att smut#kpop fanfic
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Okay so while I've discovered how to do the fancy AO3 link tumblr posts, it only seems to work for chapter one? How do you link other chapters through the banner at the top of the post? When I click share on the fic (from the second chapter page), I can edit the code that pops up to change the link to be to that second chapter but when I hit share to tumblr, it removes that again and I can't edit the link there to bring someone to the second chapter instead of the first. The only thing I can change is the text so it says '2' instead of '1' but it still links back to the first chapter. I hope that's not a dumb question or an overly complicated description? Thank you!!
So if I understand your question correctly, you want to know how to make an AO3 link for each chapter of a multichapter that takes someone directly TO that chapter, rather than the start of the fic, while maintaining the format? I will show you how I do it, with screenshots (ooo, screenshots).
Let's say I wanted to post the latest chapter (chapter 8) of We Could Stay Like This Forever, and do it with the AO3 share tool. First, I would go to the fic on AO3 (it doesn't matter which chapter) and click the "Share" button, then "Share to Tumblr":
This will pop up the text box with code, from which I click the bottom option for Tumblr:
This pops up the AO3-formatted link on your Tumblr post editor:
If you posted it now, it would take you to chapter 1. But I'm trying to post chapter 8, so what you do is mouse over the top right corner until you see the red (x). Click on this:
Hey presto, it deletes the existing link text, leaving a place for you to input a new one, while retaining the rest of the format:
Now go back to AO3 (it should have automatically stayed in a separate browser tab when you launched the share tool) and copy-paste the link for your chapter from the top URL bar:
Go back to Tumblr and post this in the empty link bar instead. It will now look like this:
But because that's not how you really want it to look, you can now edit the text! Select "Show Chapter | Archive Of Our Own" and delete, whereupon it will prompt you to add a new title:
Whereupon I do that:
I also like to fix formatting/capitalization, bold the categories, indent the fic information, etc. Now my post looks like this:
Now I can add tags and post. Ta-da!
Anyway, this might seem like a lot of steps, but it's just because I screenshot all of it, and once you do it a few times, you'll be pretty familiar with the process. Congratulations, you are now an AO3/Tumblr whiz, etc.
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Hello Livia
Fellow Levihan shipper here ;-) Your account is one of my favorite ones
Could you reply to 🦋 🌙 💞 please?
Have a nice day
Hello dear Anon 🤎
Thank you so much for your appreciation! It means a lot.
🦋 Describe yourself in three words.
Calm, bookworm, nature enjoyer
🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?
It has been -only- a year (it seems that I missed the anniversary a few days ago actually!)
💞 @ your favorite blog
Difficult not to make people sad or angry but if I have to choose, it's Val's blog @youre-ackermine 🤎
It is the first blog I followed and she followed me back instantly. Art, fanfiction, her own works, everything she reblogs or posts is amazing! She is so dedicated to supporting, complimenting, reading, gushing about, commenting, reblogging what she likes, even more so when it is her moots' posts or works. She enthusiastically recommended a lot of other LeviHan blogs to follow when I asked her. I hope I am at least half as supportive and caring as she is!
On a more personal level, she is the sweetest person I met on Tumblr, a ray of sunshine in my online life, a constant support in my real life. No details but she helped me out of a few tough moments and I cannot thank her enough! Even if we never met I consider Val to be a friend (and even my Tumblr crush actually 🤫) 🤎
Victoria @amazingackerman 🤎 is also a very very good, caring and supportive online friend who helped me a lot as well. Her AOT multiship blog is beautiful, her tastes in art and fics are really great and she is amazing (as the url says!).
I cannot reply to this without mentioning my MBTI twin @everloving-avenue 🤎 who brightens my day every time she slips into my ask box or my dash with her reblogs and my favorite writers / artists as well: Terra @dont-f-with-moogles 🤎 Krikkit @this-is-krikkit 🤎 Alice @wanderlustqueen-writes 🤎 @fanmoose12 🤎 @dreamingon-forever 🤎 @theysangastheyslew 🤎 You are all amazing and creative and I love you more than I can tell! Thank you, all of you, for everything 🤎
I got carried away for a bit and I hope I didn't embarrass you all 🫣
Thank you for sending these! Have a nice day as well 🤎
>>>>>°<<<<<
- Don't be shy, send me emojis from this Ask Game!
- Dividers @youre-ackermine 🤎 / Source
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Thank you for letting me submit a ship request!!!! 🩷💗💕
My name is Enna and I'm a bi girl with blue/pink/purple hair, blue eyes, freckles, and im covered in tattoos!!! I love reading and writing (like so much lol), I bake, swim and listen to all genres of music (and sing along horribly!). I'm in school studying to be an English teacher and I'd love to be a writer on the side. I'm really shy and quiet, I try to be as kind as possible, though I come off sarcastic/use sarcasm as flirting. I try to be as optimistic as possible too. I adore horror movies and carry at least two books with me wherever I go. I love horror and dystopians the most, but any genre can catch my eye! My three favorite books are The Handmaid's Tale, A Little Life, and The Book Thief, but I could name every book on my shelf lol!!! I could go on forever about my favorites. The beach is my happy place and I hope to move closer to the ocean after I graduate!! I love studying languages and am trying to learn as many as possible (I speak three and im studying two more). I live for poetry tho I am awful as writing it. I love Russian poetry especially and try to read it in it's original language, but my Russian still needs work. I'm a Ravenclaw and my intelligence is really important to me :) I love learning so much, I have such a great passion for it!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 🩷💗💕
thank you so much for sending this!! fellow language enthusiast here, you seem super cool and i hope you enjoy the ship :)
I ship you with...
HUGHIE CAMPBELL!
ok incredibly biased because of the url but. hear me out. you guys are the cutest
You meet in the subway, as cliché as it sounds — you're taking the train to spend a sunny day in Rockaway Beach, and it's a long ride, so of course you're immersed in a good old book. You don't even notice the guy sitting across from you... Or how he's been throwing glances at you since he got in and saw you there.
As people come and go — and both of you are still there, it's a fairly long ride —, he's debating whether or not he should say something. Would he be intruding? Would it be friendly? Would it be weird? You seem so chill and unbothered, and he'd hate to piss you off by interrupting your reading, but he's just entranced by your entire vibe. You're so cool. You're sooo cool. Incredibly cute. The sun coming through the window shines a beam of light on your hair and he thinks he's gonna die. There's an energy, a lot of life to you, and that really draws him in.
As the train gets emptier, he ultimately decides on saying something — who knows when you're getting off the train and he loses his chance forever? And as much as he kept running lines in his head thinking what he'd ask, his brain just short-circuits and in classic Hughie fashion he goes with the first thought in his head: "Hey, that's a really good book."
Important: he had never heard of that book in his entire life
Still, it's enough to get your attention and a smile — what's the harm in earnest conversation? Of course, it's the New York subway, but he seems like a nice guy, you're not in a rush nor feeling uncomfortable, and you like to talk about your interests (it really is a really good book). He does confess he hadn't read it before the lie goes too far (knowing his habitual cover-ups, it could have gotten disastrous), but you two are so deep in such a good conversation you actually find it funny and sweet.
He gets off the train before you and thus the conversation is cut short, but you give him your number. It's a meet cute straight out of a movie and you make his day — I imagine you meet around early season 2, when they're in the hideout, and daily life is rough for The Boys. That conversation with you was a beam of light.
He texts you the day after, polite and casual with a joke in there — something along the lines of "Hey, I'm Hughie, the guy in the subway — if you didn't think I'm a lying idiot, would you be interested in grabbing coffee?"
He absolutely read this one text out loud and rewrote it several times to find the optimal way to not sound weird while asking you out
And that's the start of a series of texts and dates between you two
You two have so many deep conversations over text, stay up chatting about yourselves and your interests, send cute pictures of things that remind you of each other.
Hughie is the type of guy to wait for a message and either reply to it almost immediately or mentally put it off to not seem like he replied immediately. That, of course, when he sees the message, and is preferably not too busy with not dying.
He finds the many heart emojis incredibly endearing 💜 Not a big emoji guy, but adds smiley faces to the end of sentences :) and if you use WhatsApp he'd use A LOT of stickers. Corny hearts, cute animals, funny expressions, typical millennial memes, he saves them all.
Your contact goes from "Enna :)" to "Enna ❤️" as the relationship progresses
You talk mostly over text, because of your studies and his weird schedule with the coup's plans — and you don't really know what he does at that point —, so all of your dates are planned meets. You plan to meet at a coffee shop, you plan to spend the day at the beach, you plan to go to a record store. Everything scheduled (even though he's not the most on-time person, your dates are the very opposite of spontaneous). Hughie's very much a "by the book" type of guy when it comes to dating, he wants to do everything right and neat.
And so, after a month or two of going out, he officially asks you to be his girlfriend by giving you a copy of your favorite book with his annotations (he read it!).
See, Hughie is the typical guy who lost the reading habit because life happens, but meeting you motivated him to get back to reading. In the first dates he'd casually get a recommendation like it was small talk, until he mentioned a couple days later he was actually reading it. Never failed to make you melt.
He did not finish A Little Life though, didn't get through the first chapters without bawling his eyes out and feeling like shit and realized maybe he should skip that one.
You two share so much media — movies, books, music! He absolutely doesn't mind your singing, in fact he loves singing along to stuff with you. Expect so many car sing-alongs and playing music in the kitchen while you're cooking.
And I hope you like Billy Joel, because he will play it so much you'll inevitably know the lyrics. He'll warm up to your music too, but he's usually quicker than you to put on his playlist and you're not really complaining.
You try to show him horror movies but he bails after the first scare. He's already too horrified by the stuff happening in his life, he doesn't want to be horrified by the screen too. If you really, really insist, just this once, as a gift, for you, come on, he'll watch it on edge and stressed for the entire thing. Will hold onto you for dear life and scream out loud. "We had fun, right?" gf X "I've never been more stressed my entire life" bf.
He loves your hair so much — if you change it often, it becomes a thing for him to guess the next color before you go and dye it. He always comments on it, and has a personal ranking of his favorite Enna hair eras (like, seriously elaborated, which he could make a slide presentation on if prompted).
I do remember you mentioning you're very short so that's a funny add-on — this man is a giraffe, and now your personal crane. Will grab things on the top shelf for you all the time, especially books you want.
He's definitely the big spoon, and loves cuddling and hugging. Only in private though, like at home, he's kind of awkward with PDA. But he will hug you from behind when you're baking, wrap his arms over your shoulders, and oh I'm sorry I guess you have to stop whatever you're doing to give attention to your Big Friendly Giant of a boyfriend. No the brownies aren't burning.
The breakfast table is yap central. He grew up silently eating with his dad, not much happening there, but now he actively makes the choice to always ask you about random topics over breakfast or lunch. You're creating new traditions — the table around a meal is lively and a place for conversation, in which you feel safe to ramble about whatever topics you're interested in to each other.
You do explain to him about all the languages you're learning — Hughie's not particularly a language guy, but he's a passion guy and a you guy, so he becomes fascinated by your studies. You start sporadically bringing a book in another language to breakfast to read something aloud. He loves to hear the sound of your voice in any language.
It's interesting how much of a rambler he is, while at the same time keeping his life really private. Like, you know everything about every movie he's ever seen; he explains every record he likes that you might come across in a store; he'll talk about his passions and dreams and insecurities, talk about his dad and his problems with his mom... But you still don't know what the hell he does for work. Or any of his friends.
He does try to keep The Boys' work a secret for as long as possible; he feels awful for lying to you sometimes, being evasive, or giving vague answers, but he wants to protect you. So much. He wouldn't want to risk losing someone else he cared about; losing you. Your passion, kindness, optimism have saved him in so many bad days, in so many ways you didn't even know, and are so rare to maintain in the world he's in.
This light and energy that drew him to you is, in some way, the same thing that drew him to Robin (and, in the canon, Annie).
Secrets aren't kept forever, eventually he does tell you about the real nature of his work and the crew he surrounds himself with.
You don't really get involved in the work, you're not a part of THE BOYS, but you're Hughie's girl and they all know you. They have heard oh so much about you. Let's be honest they're nosy bitches — they'd be dying to know anything and everything about you from the moment Hughie offhandedly mentioned he had a date.
You guys were barely official and Frenchie said he wanted to be invited to the wedding
Hughie is the No. 1 supporter of your baked goods, and he starts bringing them to the office. They're all immediately hooked.
They tease him pretty much all the time — it's awww when you have a cute couple moment, crude jokes from Butcher (in good spirit, you respond with sarcasm and he respects you that way), a cacophony of noises and some "TELL HER I SAID HI" in the background of most phone calls —, but at the end of the day they're incredibly happy for you two. It's a breath of fresh air in their chaotic lifestyle that someone has something sweet in their life and a sense of normality. You're a beam of light. :)
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deranged thoughts from me!!1!
ok so in hannibal i think ears are used to portray a passageway to the heart/soul and are a symbol of life itself. We get that fun shot of traveling down Hannibal's ear canal when he listens to the opera and is made to cry from it - he considers music to be something profoundly beautiful and worthy just like he does culinary and visual arts. You can get to Hannibal's heart through his eyes, tongue, or ears. The next time we focus on ears is when Will is fighting Tobias and manages to clip him in the ear when fighting him off. This makes Tobias run off and leaves Will's ears ringing. Tobias was someone who, like Hannibal, held musical arts in high regard. I'm not really sure what clipping him in the ear couldve symbolized, maybe foreshadowing to his death? idk. Anyways.
We get to Abigail. Losing an ear isn't deadly; Abigail has her ear cut off and fed to Will and is more or less ok. But I think this symbolizes a partial loss of her soul. By offering up her ear to further the goal of manipulating Will so that their weird little family can work, she gives up her last hope of true independence to Hannibal. One window to her heart is cut off and forced onto someone who never asked for it, who doesn't want Abigail to lose her independence. The remaining window (ear) is being fully occupied by Hannibal; she's bought into his honeyed words fully, the other ear that could listen to reason being stolen from her. I think this could be used to foreshadow her death as well - she's lost half of her self, so she is all the more vulnerable to having her spirit snuffed out.
Also, as @valentinsylve mentioned, the mushrooms in Eldon Stammets' garden look like ears. Kinda ties into my thesis about how ears can be a pathway to the soul and therefore also connection, since that's Eldon's whole thing.
And as @felicity-smoak-is-my-goddess mentioned, Will gets sent an ear during his trial. I honestly don't remember the chronological order of events during s2a that well (but I'm rewatching it rn) but it could be symbolic of Hannibal offering a piece of his soul to Will, putting his life on the line to get him free by killing the judge (but I don't remember if it's Hannibal or Michael that sends him the ear, or maybe it's never revealed. If it's Michael, then yea its a display of how much Will's work means to him as emulation is the highest form of flattery and Michael is offering up some of his soul to Will as well)
Anyways url change incoming
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