#i hope this sound clip is still funny lol i took way too long on this bc i decided i wanted to put effort into it and that's my mistake

[zariyen]

how to be demure with vil

[kerie-prince]

forgotten birthdays

Fred Weasley x Slytherin!reader

requested: (anon) Hiii, can I request something aangsty with Fred Weasley and slytherin reader? Like he got mad for something, maybe jealousy bc reader was spending much time with her house mates and he ignores her or says mean things to her but with a happy ending please 🥺

warnings: language

summary: Fred has his suspicions about your best friend and on the day of your birthday, he crosses the line which causes you to rethink your relationship

a/n: yoo this was hard to write for a quick second lol i hope you enjoy ~ plus, i got a new job so i'm in training and i'm so excited bc i've been wanting this job for so long (y/n/n = your nickname)

(gif not mine, cred to owner)

It was getting irritating.

You love Fred with all your heart, but he needed to stop being jealous. Marcus Flint was, is, and always will just be a friend of yours. You two grew up together and are nearly attached to the hip. Never once had you two of you flirted or done anything together. It was purely platonic, but Fred insisted there was something.

And going to Marcus’ prefect dorm after every fight probably didn't help your cause all that well, but he's your best friend. Who else would you talk to? You didn't have many girlfriends and when Fred introduced you to Angelina, you had gotten into a big fight for no reason. But you never asked him to stop hanging out with her even though you wanted to.

You could tell she liked Fred, but you were confident enough to know that Fred would never do you wrong like that. So why does he think that of you? Why does he get to hang out with Angelina, but he gets angry when you barely say two words to Marcus?

It was hard, but you’d work it out and still love each other at the end of the day. But then your birthday came around, and you’d just about had it.

You woke up in a good mood; the river sent in flowing rays of sunlight. Not too blinding, but not too dim either. This would be the second time celebrating your birthday with your boyfriend and if last year was amazing, you couldn't wait to see what Fred had planned for you today.

You took your time getting ready; you put on more make-up than usual and rather than tying your hair up with a clip as you always did, you let it down and fixed some strays to better frame your face. When you walked into the common room, your best friend snuck up behind you and yelled in your ear, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Y/N!”

Your natural response was to duck down and cover your ears. You hated when he did that, but you still appreciate the sentiment. You punched his arm as you laughed. “That’s not funny.”

“Oh yeah, then why did I laugh?” Marcus joked. Malfoy and his friends were behind him chuckling, all boys greeting you and wishing you a happy birthday. Marcus flung his arm around your shoulder and walked with you to get breakfast.

Once in the Great Hall, you saw Fred and his friends all laughing at the Gryffindor table and just when you were about to break free from Marcus’ hold, he pulled you back, “Oh no you don’t. You have all day to hang out with Weasley and company, but right now, you are gonna have at least one meal with your best friend.” You weren't going to argue; you didn't want to. If you wanted to sit with Fred, you wouldn't have to put up a fight, you would just do it. At your Slytherin table were Marcus’ other friends, Adrian Pucey and Terence Higgs. You sat in between them and pulled your hood up when they started embarrassing you by singing a birthday song. It was starting to be a great day.

However, across the Hall was Fred glaring daggers at your best friends’ arm around you. He couldn't hear what was going on, either due to the fact that you were pretty far from where he sat, or from jealous rage. “Freddie, you alright?” George asked his brother. “Yeah, just fine, Georgie.” He couldn't stand Flint. He would be enraged with every glance towards you, every whisper in your ear during class, and every time he made you laugh. Fred was sure that Flint was in love with you, but because you grew up with him you were too blind to see it. He was convinced that at any given moment, your ‘best friend’ would take advantage of you.

What also made him upset is that not only did you let Flint wrap his arm around you, you didn't even come say hi to your boyfriend. You always came every morning to his table to give him a morning kiss and sometimes even sat at the Gryffindor table.

In potions class, you sat and waited for your boyfriend to come through the doors. You weren't sure what to expect from him. Fred is an absolute wild card and could come through those doors with anything. And no matter what he brought, he’d for sure get in trouble with Snape.

When he walked through the doors with his brother and Lee, you sat up straight in your seat and waved at him. He saw you, but instead of smiling at you and taking the seat next to yours, he just looked away and sat on the other side of the room. Did something happen? You chose to ignore it until lunch rolled around and he still hadn't come up to you to even say ‘hi’ to you. Had he forgotten your birthday? It could happen, but that doesn't explain why he looked to be in a bad mood.

Once your classes were finished, you walked up the changing stairs and said the password to the Gryffindor dorms. You remembered the updated password your boyfriend gave you the week before and it was your first time using it today.

You didn't know what to expect to see; you secretly wished that today was just a big prank and Fred had actually planned a surprise party of some sort. But when you stepped foot into the room filled with tones of red and gold, there was no party. Just Fred laughing with his friends like normal. Normal without you.

Lee’s laugh died down when he noticed you walking up to Fred. He noticed Lee getting quiet all of a sudden and asked him, “Why are you quiet all of a sudden?” He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around. “What are you doing in here?”

“Why, are Slytherins not allowed inside?” you joked. Your voice was slightly quiet and had a slight sad tone to it. “I missed you today, is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Fine. I've just been busy. Like you have,” Fred didn't mean to sound so bitter, but he was getting tired of it. He was tired of being second best to Flint.

“What are you talking about?” you asked.

“You've been with Flint all day,” Fred explained himself. You rolled your eyes, two fingers grabbing the temple of your nose from it suddenly starting to become irritated like you were. “Merlin, this again? Freddie, we talked about this. Marcus is just a friend. He's my best friend.”

Fred scoffed, “Y/N/N, you may think that but he doesn't. You trust him too much to see it, but I do. He's not just a friend.”

“You’re friends with Angelina when you know she likes you. And I know it too, but I don't say anything because I don't want to be that girlfriend who controls her boyfriends,” you were tired of playing this game with him. Your voice was heard by everyone in the room and soon enough, tons of peers had all eyes on you. Some either decided to stay, and some like Neville decided to head straight into their dorm rooms and lock the door for safety.

“Me being friends with Angelina is nothing like you being friends with Flint and you know that,” Fred raised his voice louder than anyone’s probably heard him. George and Lee silently guided people out of the common room and up to the dorms. Some people looked over the stairs to get a view of the commotion downstairs. One of them being Angelina herself when she heard her name being called out.

“No you’re right, it's different because he’s not pining over me and waiting for me to become available,” your arms were flailing about in anger, pointing at nothing to put emphasis in your words.

“How many times do I have to say I don’t like Ang? It’s never going to happen!” Angelina heard from up the staircase. Everyone heard him, loud and clear. She ran into her dorm and slammed the door so hard that you could feel the walls shake. “Great,” Fred sighed in frustration. It wasn't the ideal way to let someone down. He intended on talking to her in private without listening ears so she wouldn't be embarrassed.

“I'm not saying you like Angelina. I know you don’t like Angelina. What I’m saying is that you’re wrong about Marcus. I know he doesn't like me, you're just acting insecure,” you yelled back at him..

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to see he has feelings for you, Y/N/N,” Fred yelled, “I see the way he looks at you in every class and in the Hall. But you’re too fucking stupid to see–,” he immediately stopped what he was saying.

You couldn't believe what he was telling you right now. You could handle him calling you naive, but stupid? This was low, even for him.

You were getting stares from everyone in the common room. Your pride was more than hurt in this moment; it was destroyed. No words came from your mouth as you were completely still in your seat on the couch. Your nails dug into your skin as it was formed into a tight fist. But the worst of all was that your lips were quivering and you had to fight the tears on your birthday.

Your fucking birthday.

“Well if it bothers you so much, then fine. I'll fix the problem,” you started to speak low for only him to hear you.

“How?”

“I’ll end the problem,” a single tear escaped and trailed down your cheeks. This was the last thing you wanted to do today, but you couldn't take it anymore. He was scared to ask, but his ego got in the way, “And what's the problem?”

“Us,” you stated. He started saying something, but you couldn't hear it as you left. No, you actively ignored everything he was saying at that point. The second you were outside, you started bawling. And you kept at it all the way to the Slytherin common room and into your room.

You paced around your room rubbing your hands on your arms to try and calm yourself down, but nothing was working. Before you even processed it, your legs took you to Marcus’ room without second thought. You continuously knocked on his door until he answered, shirtless and with sweatpants that looked like they were just thrown on.

“Listen, I know it’s your birthday but that doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want–,” he focused in on your face and saw your red cheeks and puffy eyes. You looked behind him and there was a girl with him who sat in his bed looking curious. He looked back to her and just simply ordered, “Out,” which got her moving in seconds.

Once she was gone, he pulled you in and shut his door. Marcus guided you to a black leather chair in his room. “Sit,” his voice was stern, but never harsh with you. “What happened?”

As if by cue, you broke down completely. “It's o-o-over.”

“What is?” he questioned. But piecing it together, there's only one reason you'd be this upset in his room.

He never really knew what to do in situations like when you'd have your usual arguments, always just telling you that everything will be fine and you and Fred would be fine in the morning.

But now, he was feeling two things. One, slight heartache that his best friend is upset in front of him and two, nearly absolute rage that Fred is such an idiot.

Marcus started rubbing your back, “Hey, look at me.” When you shook your head no, he gently tapped on your shoulders until you did. “You are gonna be fine. Okay? You will be fine. There's plenty of other guys here–”

“I don't want to be with other guys, Marcus. I want Fred. I love Fred. But,” you shrugged up both hands, “I don't know. I don't know.” Your best friend pulled you in for a hug.

“Hey, sleep here tonight. You shouldn't be alone right now, especially today.” You nodded your head and kept crying until you couldn't anymore.

—

“HEY!” Marcus’ voice traveled beyond the corridors. Students were fleeing left and right to move out of his way as he made a straight line towards the group of Gryffindors who sat around a tree outside.

Before they could react to what was going on, Marcus punched one of the tall gingers in his abdomen. “OW, what was that for?!”

“You're going to apologize to Y/N right now,” Marcus demanded.

“You idiot, I'm George,” he corrected, still bent over and leaning on Lee for balance. “Shit, sorry.” Marcus looked at Fred and punched him in the same area quicker before Fred could block it. “You're going to apologize to Y/N.”

With a strain in his voice, Fred looked at the Slytherin in front of him, “What for, she broke up with me.”

“Okay, why? Because you're pathetic and insecure.”

“Is that what she told you?” Fred straightened himself up rubbing on the pain. “Of course she told you, she tells you everything.”

“Yeah, why wouldn't she? I'm her cousin,” Marcus pointed out. If he wasn't so mad, he would laugh at Fred's look of astonishment.

“No, you have different family names. And you don't even look related,” Fred wasn't buying it.

“That's because when I was eight, my dad married her aunt. I'm still her cousin,” Marcus explained.

“She never told me anything, how was I supposed to know?” Fred complained. George and his other friends left the two to argue by themselves but stood at a close enough distance to hear the conversation and be able to jump in if it were to get violent.

“Maybe if you got your head out of your ass, you would actually pay attention to her,” Marcus used his pointer finger to push against Fred’s forehead which caused the ginger to swat his hand away. “So get over whatever complex you have and apologize. If I'm being honest, there's plenty of Slytherins that can treat her better but she wants you for some reason.”

Fred knew he was right. And it was that reason why he always felt the way he did. You were enamored by many housemates, all handsome and rich. But you didn't like any of them. You love Fred. You love the lanky, devious, modestly handsome, funny Gryffindor more than anyone you've ever met.

Fred didn't say anything and walked away. His brother was asking where he was going but he didn't answer. Before he was out of Marcus’ sight, the Slytherin said one last thing, “By the way, I hope you know it was her birthday yesterday.”

Fuck. He picked up his pace and ran towards the dungeons. Halfway there, he figured that he didn't want to show up empty handed, so he made a detour to the greenhouse to 'borrow’ some flowers from Sprout’s personal garden.

You sat on one of the couches in your common room. Across from you was Adrian and Terence, arguing about some Ravenclaw girl. Some younger students passed by and whispered amongst themselves to which you didn't pay any mind to until you heard a third year say something about a Weasley being outside.

You knew it wasn't Ron because after his second year break in with Harry, he vowed that he'd never do it again. You stood up and nearly sprinted outside.

Fred was standing awkwardly outside. He tried to get a student to ask for you to come outside but they would all just scrunch their noses in disgust and keep walking. “Annoying little–”

“What are you doing here?” you asked. Your arms were crossed and you slouched your shoulders a bit. Fred noticed how your cheeks were swollen and the bags under your eyes were tinted a rosy pink. In his left hand, there was a single, large sunflower. He raised it in front of you, hoping you would accept it. “You know I’m allergic to those, right?”

Fred’s eyes bulged out. There is no way I didn't know this. Figuring he’s had enough torture, you spoke again, “I’m joking.”

“O-oh. Heh.” You grabbed the flower from him. “I’m… really sorry. I was such an arse–”

“You are an arse,” you corrected. “Yeah, you’re right. I should have trusted Flint. I should have trusted you. And if you’d let me, I want to prove that I do.”

You released a deep sigh and rubbed your forehead. “Freddie. You have to mean it this time. I can't keep going back and forth with you like this. You can't throw a fit every time I hang out with Marcus. Or Adrian. Or Terence.”

“So is that a yes?” Fred persisted. You looked at him properly in his eyes; he seemed sincere this time. And you could only hope that he was. With a nod of your head, Fred broke into smiles and picked you up from the floor and twirled you around. Your head was still sore from all the crying the night before, but you still had a smile on your face.

When he put you down, he took the hand that wasn't holding the flower and walked with you to the Great Hall for food. “So when were you going to tell me that Flint is your cousin?”

“I figured you’d find out at a family gathering or something had you waited a little longer.” He pinched your nose in response, “And you call me devious.”

—

requests open!

[fluffymisha97]

Falling, Fallen - Part 3 - Part 2/2

Summary: Last part of that very ‘first real date’ with Chris. The man had several tricks up his sleeves. 

Warnings: Language. 

Word count: 5,447 (Loooong I know) 

(Updated 06-03, I forgot to add the pictures I wanted to use lol.) 

You were still reeling from the shock of finding out where you were going next. For a moment you felt speechless due to the surprise and excitement of going in there. You hadn’t gone to one of these things for so long. You grabbed onto Chris’ arm for support worried that you would tip over.

“Omg, are we going in here? I didn’t even know that there was anything like this during this season.”

“Well, that’s the plan. There’s some rides that are closed but very few.”

“Wow, Chris this is really great- but what about all the people? It looks pretty packed.”

“I think we’re good. Besides it’s sometimes easier to blend in with a lot of people rather than a few. If things go south, I’ve got a backup plan.”

You let out a small snort.

“Wait, you got like a secret disguise in the back of your car or something?”

“Something like that.”

Chris was in fact wearing something that offered him some discretion with his Boston Cap and some black sunglasses. He hadn’t been wearing the glasses before arriving at the fair. He’d yet again asked if you were okay with him wearing them while with you. You truly appreciated the thought and didn’t mind it at all. Chris went to a stand where he paid for two entrance tickets and some tickets for the rides and such.

You were all giddy inside and very much excited for the second time that day. This date was looking very well compared to the first one. You and Chris went ‘inside’ where the fair was indeed packed with a great amount of people. Chris stayed close to you while you walked around trying to get a feeling of the place. The place was huge and you were almost overwhelmed by everything there. You felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Chris felt the same way but tried hard to contain it not wanting to make a further fool of himself. He’d already done that twice that day.

You and Chris had come to a stop by some rides. You instantly spotted the giant Ferris wheel which Chris noticed. You stared at it hesitantly and stayed put. You felt Chris’ hand on your back briefly.

“You want to go?”

“Yes and no. The last time I was on one of these things was when I was about 8 years old and I cried when I got to the top because I got scared.”

“How about I’ll let you hold onto me if you get scared.”

“Ever the gentleman, Evans.”

“My ma raised me right.”

You smirked at him. The two of you small talked while you waited in line. 5 minutes later, you were the next to go. You could feel yourself growing more nervous as you got closer. Chris seemed to have noticed your nervous state when he cautiously reached out and grabbed your hand. He didn’t say anything as he held your hand. You smiled at the action and tried to calm down. ‘Remember be cool and chill’ Emmett’s words rang in your head again. ‘Right, breathe in and out slowly. Be cool as a cucumber’. You snorted to yourself hearing your own thoughts.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Just me being me.”

“Okayyy... Looks like it’s our turn.”

Chris led you to the loading by the passenger cars where you went to sit down on the right side. Chris quietly sat down next to you where the girl shut the latch. You took a deep breath as the ride started.

“You still with me?”

“Ask me when we’re at the top.”

You felt small butterflies as you’d reached the top. You couldn’t contain the giggles escaping your mouth as you took in the breathtaking view. It was a sight worth writing home about for sure. The view was great but taking a closer look at the sight next to you, was also pretty great to look at.

“So, have I lost you or...?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“I’m glad.”

“This wasn’t as bad as I remembered it- OMG, they have a swinging carousel! We have to go there next.”

Chris grinned at your child-like enthusiastic behavior. You cleared your throat as you heard yourself coming off as anything other than ladylike.

“I mean, can we please go there next? If you act like a gentleman, then I should perhaps try to act like a lady.”

“By all means go crazy, Y/N.”

“Good man.”

After the ride, you had quickly run off to the next ride, while Chris struggled to keep up with you.  You guys went on the swinging carousel right after and it happened so that you and Chris were often the biggest and in fact the oldest people on several of the rides. A part of you should’ve probably been more embarrassed but you were having such a wonderful time that you didn't give a damn. You and Chris had gone on several rides and each one was better than the previous. You honestly couldn't remember the last time that you’d had this much fun.

You went to the bumper cars where Chris was soon chased around by younger boys who’d discovered that Captain America was riding in a bumper car. Afterward they’d asked for a picture which Chris agreed to and nervously checked if you were okay with it. You shook your head and waited patiently while Chris took the last few pictures. You smiled when one very young boy quietly hugged Chris’ leg before running off with the rest of the group. The little boy briefly turned around and waved at Chris.

“Thank you, Mister ‘Mercia.”

You and Chris shared a soft smile at the action and he soon joined you.

“Sorry about that.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll gladly take those boys over teenage girls and well ...women chasing you around.”

Chris nervously laughed but was thankful that you didn't mind it. Chris gestured for you guys to move out. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence before you turned to him.

“How is that by the way? Getting recognized by people and asked to do pictures and such. If you don’t mind me asking.”

“It’s fine. Uh, I guess it was kind of daunting in the beginning but I’m used to it by now I mean. The kids are great, truly, I love that they look up to someone like Captain America. That I can play a part that can change someone's life. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish and arrogant.”

You smiled and shook your head at him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say something arrogant before. But I think I understand what you mean. If I had a job like that, where I could be a part of something so big and mean something for so many people, I would love that.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and that’s the reason why I keep doing it.”

“But?”

“But sometimes I do think about doing something else than acting.”

“I think it’s normal to consider other things in that industry. To have a plan or something to fall back on. Not that I think you need it. I haven’t seen you in action or anything like that. I’ve seen clips of those Marvel movies.”

“And here I thought that you would’ve stalked me online and everything…anyway what did you think of the movies then?”

“I get the appeal. They do seem like great movies. My friends Emmett and Abby love them but mostly because of all the hot guys in it.”

“Hot guys? Huh, such as?”

“Well, the other Chris is like a wall and very nice looking. Abby loves him the most. He looks good shirtless you know. Then there’s Tom Hiddleston quite handsome too.”

“Wait, are those the only ones that you guys like?”

“Well, nooo...Henry Cavill is a real fine one too.”

You giggled when Chris gasped in an excessive manner.

“He ain't in the Marvel movies! He’s Superman which isn't Marvel.”

“That may be but he is hella fine.”

You wiggled your eyebrows at him and laughed at the ‘hurt’ face he made as he huffed out loud.

“Well, you’ve just revealed yourself to have absolutely no taste then.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.”

“You sure about that?”

“If you go for Cavill then yeah?”

“Huh… Bad taste in men then?”

“Apparently so, Y/N.”

“Interesting then.”

“What is?”

“I’m here with you now, aren't I?”

Chris’ mouth clamped shut like an oyster at that. His ears turned pink-ish at your snarky little comment.

“Well, maybe not entirely bad taste.”

You only laughed as the two of you continued walking close next to each bumping shoulders a few times. Yours bumped into his arm though, seeing you were inches shorter than him. During your exploring of the fair, conversations rolled easily and constantly off your tongue. Chris was so very easy and comfortable to talk with about everything and nothing. You also enjoyed each other's silence without it feeling weird or awkward at all which was so nice.

You and Chris would subconsciously hold hands every once in a while and it just happened so naturally that neither one of you gave it another thought. You liked it and it seemed like he did too. Or that’s what you hoped for.

After a while you’d been sure that you and Chris had tried almost all of the rides, you ventured on into what looked like an arcade hall. There weren't too many people around the hall probably because people wanted to get that last bit of sunlight. Chris walked ahead of you looking at all of the different kinds of games stationed around the place. He came to a stop by an Air Hockey table.

“How about a friendly game of air hockey? I’ll go easy on you.”

You rolled your eyes at him and went to stand on the opposite end of the table.

“Oh, such a gentleman.”

“You ready?”

You nodded your head and prepared yourself. Chris kept his word and went easy on you. Which you would’ve appreciated a lot more had you been terrible at the game. The puck went back and forth three times before you pounced and fired it into his goal.

“What the hell just happened?”

“Was that too fast for you?”

“Wait, what?”

You gave him a sly smirk as you rolled up your sleeves.

“I never said that I would go easy on you.”

“Ohh? That’s how it is.”

“Yup. Give it your best.”

The two of you yelled and shouted like maniacs as the game went on. You’d been winning each set and each time you’d done a little victory dance for yourself.

“Oh, you think that’s attractive? Real cute.”

“I know. I’ve been told I’m rather cute.”

Chris huffed at you and placed the puck on the table.

“Sudden death. Loser buys fries.”

“You’re on, Evans.”

The next game went back and forth. You were so amped up and so was Chris. He wasn’t backing down and neither were you. This was a fight to death. Your eyebrow quirked as an evil thought went through your head.

“You know it’s a good thing that you’re so invested in the game because otherwise you would’ve seen how my boob nearly fell right out.”

“Wha-”

Chris hadn’t even heard half of your sentence before he looked up at you with a puzzled face and you seized your chance. The puck went right in and you threw your hands in the air.

“YES, mother of everything good.”

Chris rubbed his face in embarrassment and chuckled as he looked down on the table.

“I think I’ve met my match. You’re even worse than me.”

“Ehh, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Alright then how about those fries?”

“Yes! You’ve just earned yourself some golden points.”

The two of you went back outside the arcade hall in the search of a food stand. As you finally found a stand, you both felt and heard your stomach growling meaning you were hungry for more than fries. You were about to excuse yourself when you heard Chris in the middle of ordering you some food.

“Hey, can I get two hotdogs with everything, and two curly fries, two cokes?”

Chris briefly checked with you if you had any objections which you didn’t. A few moments later, your food was done. You took the cokes even though Chris had protested wanting to be a gentleman and bring you the food. It was a nice gesture but you couldn't not help when he’d bought you the food to begin with. You found a free table where you sat down. Chris sat on the other side of the table.

You both began eating shortly after enjoying the food and the scenery around you.

“This is soo good.”

“Yup. It kinda goes with the whole thing.”

“I love me some curly fries. Even though I should hold back on them.”

“I’ll gladly buy you all the fries you want.”

“Oohh he scores another golden point.”

Chris softly smiled at you as you took a sip of your coke.

“How am I doing so far?”

“So far so good.”

Chris gave you a smile that could go for miles. It was also annoying how dashingly charming he could be without even trying to.

“I gotta say that you really surprised me by bringing me here. A nice thing.”

“Glad you like it.”

The conversation flowed naturally with Chris and when there was any silence it didn't feel awkward or weird. It was a comfortable silence. You enjoyed listening to Chris animatedly telling you about his job and life. It was clear that he was a passionate guy. You could listen all day to him. Sometimes he would blush when he felt like he’d been talking too much. You couldn't help but find it cute. You just leaned back in your seat and listened to him talk. After a while when you were both done with your food, Chris offered you his hand and you were off to see what else the Fair had to offer.

You moved onto some of the booth games, there were hundreds of them. First you’d gone and tried the bottle ring toss for old times. Each booth you went to, it turned into a competition with Chris. He was so determined about wanting to impress you but you were most of the time just as good as him or even better. Which felt less than good for his ego. You both played Balloon Darts, Knock the cans, and Feed the clown and many more. You saw how Chris almost looked ‘deflated’ by your continuing luck and fortune with the games. You couldn’t help but cringe a little bit inside over yourself.

“Well, this is slightly embarrassing now.”

“What, c’mon, Chris. It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yeah. Nothing that matters anyway.”

“Sureee...How is it possible that you’ve aced everything we’ve tried so far?”

“I don’t know.”

You could only shrug your shoulders as you looked down at your feet feeling less desirable and dorkier.

“So you’re just naturally good at everything then?”

“Well no, not everything.”

“Oh yeah? Mention one thing you’re bad at.”

You smirked at him and then looked around at the several stands nearby. Something caught your eye. You spotted a stand with a basket net where one would shoot hoops and win prizes. You grabbed Chris by the arm and dragged him along with you close by the booth.

“That. Right there.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. Imagine little ol’e me never having had a little stuffed animal.”

Chris puffed out his chest and straightened his back as he looked at the booth

“I guess we better do something about that.”

Chris gave you a small smile before walking over to the young guy behind the counter. The guy easily recognized Chris but tried playing it cool. Chris removed his sunglasses and pulled out the tickets.

“Hey man, can I get 5?”

“S-s-sure d-dude.”

You stood next to Chris and watched him tank the first 3 shots. You watched how he craned his neck and breathed in through his nose. You stifled a laugh when Chris missed the last 2 ones. Chris looked at you rather nervously.

“You good?”

“Yeah, just a little stiff… just need to have full access you know full range of motion.”

Chris then removed his jacket and before he could lay it elsewhere you stepped in and took it off his hands. You couldn’t help it as you obviously ogled him. His flannel shirt fit him like a glove. It wasn’t until now you saw his whole outfit. He was wearing a red and black flannel shirt and a white undershirt with some darkish jeans. Those jeans also hugged his form very well. You had to snap out of it as you were starting to feel all pervy. ‘Y/N, don’t be a dick nor dick-ish’, you could hear Abby and your friend Emmett’s voice in your head.

Chris bought some more balls. Another few minutes passed and the ball was close but not close enough. You could sense Chris starting to get frustrated and figured you may as well seize the moment.

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I’m going to powder my nose.”

“Okay. I’ll be here and keep on losing to the giant teddy-bear.”

“Chris. You got this. I believe in you.”

You could hear Chris huff out loud as you went to find a restroom. You heard Chris mumble something under his breath.

‘Damn right, I got this. Gotta win the girl her freaking teddy bear.’

You finally spotted a restroom and went and did your business. You checked your phone to see if Abby had written you. Before leaving, you briefly checked yourself in the mirror.

As you got back towards the stand you saw an odd exchange between the guy and Chris. You stilled as you saw Chris handing the guy what looked like a dollar bill but instead the guy grabbed a piece of paper, a pen and his phone. They took a selfie which left the guy rather happy looking and he handed over the biggest bear from the shelves. You smirked to yourself but still felt giddy inside over his obviously failed attempts to win it on his own but giddy over the lengths he would go to get you that bear. You sauntered back over to the stand where Chris lifted the bear up in the air victoriously. Chris felt his heart skip just a bit as he saw the grin on your face unaware of just how much you’d seen. You happily skipped over in front of him.

“Oh my… you got it? You won me a bear. No one’s ever done that for me.”

Chris offered you a sheepishly smile as he handed over the giant bear.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. He put up quite the fight but was no match in the end.”

You giggled as you watched him parade around in ‘false’ triumph. It was still cute no matter what. Chris put his jacket back on and let out a small cough.

“Oh really? I wished I could’ve seen that.”

Chris scratched the back of his neck and went to move around you.

“Where are you going?”

“Out… I gotta go and powder my nose.”

You could see the dazzling smile fall from his face once he realized what he’d said.

“Can I take that back?”

“Nope, too late.”

You smirked at him as he slowly turned around and muttered something to himself.

‘Powder my nose, Jesus. Why don’t you just tell her how much ya ass is sweating too, you dumb-ass’

You chuckled to yourself and turned around to face the booth. The guy still looked like he was star struck as he stared at the autograph which he quickly put away as you walked over. You figured you could kill some time before Chris got back. You reached down in your pocket and fished out some tickets.

“5 balls, please.”

The guy exchanged your tickets and handed you the basket containing the balls but not before uttering his opinion.

“Didn’t you just tell that guy that you sucked at this game?”

“Boy, you got long ears…- Didn’t you just hand off a prize in a way that your supervisor wouldn’t want to hear about?”

“Sorryyy.”

You just ‘mmm-hmm’-ed the crap out of him and placed your bear up on the counter. You scored right away as you aimed for the basket. While you were passing time, someone else had joined the party. Chris stopped dead in his tracks as he watched how you nailed every single shot.  

“Aha! A liar with a good arm it seems.”

You turned around flustered that he’d caught you red-handed. You only shrugged your shoulders as you picked up your bear.

“Ohhh, that? Pftt… Just lucky I guess.”

“Mhm, I think not. I’m wounded by the deceiving lies.”

You made a face at him causing him to crack a smile. Considering what you’d seen earlier it was clear that you weren’t the only one who was lying. You placed the bear back on the counter and firmly placed your hands on your hips as you stared into Chris’ blue eyes.

“Okay, okay, okay… So can you look me in the eye and tell me that you won my bear fair and square?”

Chris instantly looked like the kid who’d been caught with his hand down the cookie jar. Anything that resembled a ‘poker face’ instantly fell from his face.

“Well… okay, initially I was going for that BUT that bear wasn’t coming down on its own. So maybe I helped it down a bit yeah. I tried, Y/N. I mean, you saw me miss that shot way too many times and then when you’d said that you never won a stuffed toy, I just wanted to win it for you.”

You placed your hand on Chris’ chest as you leaned up and quickly placed a small and brief peck on his cheek leaving Chris speechless.

“What’s that for?”

“For this. No one’s ever gone to this much trouble to win me a bear.”

Chris blushed from the peck on the cheek and your words. Yes, the two of you had both lied but that didn’t seem to matter at all anymore. The two of you walked off, Chris offered to carry your bear for you like the smooth gentleman he turned out to be. You’d gone to sit down on a bench feeling the day seeping through you. You didn't want to be tired yet. If you were tired, Chris would no doubt take you home and you weren't ready to go home yet. Chris must’ve thought something like that too because he returned with two giant cotton candies. One pink and one blue.

“Pick your poison, my lady.”

“Uhh fancy. The lady wants a little bit of both.”

“Luckily, I was raised to share.”

You gave him a toothy smile as you took the pink one. You small talked while eating the delicious sugary candy while both getting quite sticky in the process.

“Wait a second, you got some on your cheek.”

You moved to wipe your face and then turned to look at Chris again.

“Did I get it?”

“Argh no, you just spread it further. Here let me-.”

You sat very still whilst Chris with careful and gentle hands touched your right cheek. His calloused fingers swiped across your cheek. You watched silently as Chris removed his hand and wiped it across his lips getting the cotton candy off his fingers. You watched how Chris’ eyes widened as he noticed his actions. He opened his mouth to apologize no doubt but you beat him to it.

“Always the gentleman. Thanks for not allowing me to prance around with that stuff on my face.”

“No problem.”

You hadn't even noticed how late it had gotten before you saw the dark skies above you. You finally looked around you and saw how lit up the funfair was. All of the lights from the rides mixed with the lighting from the booths made quite the impact on you. Christmas trees had nothing on this.

“Wow, this looks so pretty.”

“Yeah you do- Uh yeah, it’s great.”

Your cheeks felt hot after hearing Chris’ compliment which you pretended not to hear.

“I don’t even want to leave this place. It’s like magic here. There’s no drama or...gossipy chicks around any corner. There’s happiness all around here.”

“Well, then we better come up with an act if we’re to stay here.”

“Yes, the basket thing is out of question with well you know… your bad aim.”

Chris let out a dry crackle as he playfully shoved you but not too hard. You only grinned in return.

“Think you’re being cute again? Huh?”

“I know I’m cute.”

“You’re lucky that’s true. SO, an act. We can just have you perform some songs, you got a great voice and I’ll...I don't know.”

“You can be my backup dancer in your Captain America costume.”

You both burst out laughing at the mere idea. Chris was so easy to let loose with. You’d found out during the day how much you enjoyed his laugh. It was so very much contagious to be around. Hearing him laugh like that made you smile.

“Oh God, imagine that.”

“Imagine that.”

You’d been having the time of your life but you were only human which meant that the whole day of activity began to latch onto you. You tried fighting the yawn making its debut but it was too late. Chris had noticed you trying to hide your yawn. He chuckled at your attempt to hide it and then casually move on.

“I guess we better get you back home. We’ve got an hour long drive ahead of us.”

“What, no. I’m fine really.”

Another yawn escaped your mouth and you hid your face in your jacket.

“Y/N, it’s okay. We’ve had quite the day.”

Chris stood from his seat and offered you his hand. He managed to balance the giant bear in one hand or rather arm whilst keeping an arm around your waist. He didn’t want to overstep and had almost retracted his arm worried about offending you but your own hand stopped him before he could do something. He smiled to himself feeling you leaning into his side as you walked. Chris strapped your bear in the backseat and opened the car door for you again. The car ride home was less chatty, not that either of you minded. Truthfully you were both a little bit tired but the silence in the car was still comfortable. The music in the car mixed with the feeling of fatigue washing over you made your eyes droopy. Before you knew it, you’d fallen asleep. Chris saw how you’d fallen asleep some moments later and smiled for himself. Carefully while still keeping an eye on the road, Chris used his jacket to cover you so you wouldn’t get cold.

Gentle fingers woke you up. Chris brushed some loose strays of hair behind your ear as he whispered your name.

“Y/N, wake up…- We’re here.”

You stirred awake feeling embarrassed as you came to it. You’d fallen asleep in front of Chris. In his car on your way home. You lazily rubbed your eyes and tried to shake the sleep right off you. You let out a small groan as Chris chuckled beside you.

“I’m sorry. I’m not a fun car buddy...I can’t believe I fell asleep- Oh God, I didn’t snore or say something did I? Abby says that I sometimes talk or mumble in my sleep.”

“Oh, you didn’t snore that’s for sure. Although you did say that Cavill isn’t as hot as that guy who plays Captain America.”

“You sure that I said that?”

“Oh, yeah. No doubt.”

You let out a small throaty laugh as you quietly removed Chris’ jacket from your body and handed it back to him.

“Thanks for that.”

“No problem. You go on ahead. I’ll get your bear.”

You got out of the car and went up to the door of your apartment building. Chris carried your gigantic teddy bear while you were holding onto your small heart shaped pillow that Chris got you as you’d been leaving the fair from one of those claw machines. As you fished out your key, Chris walked up with your bear and placed it on the ground next to you.

“You got all of your stuffed animals?”

“Yup. I think that’s about it.”

“So, I had an amazing time today-…”

“So, I wanted to thank you for a wonderful time-…”

You spoke simultaneously. You both chuckled at this as you looked down a bit.

“I got to say that you went all out today. I mean, how are we ever going to be able to top this day? The next date is going to seem so… bland next to this one.”

Chris smiled widely hearing you mentioning ‘the next date’.

“What?”

“You said our next date.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I did have a really good time and it seemed like you did too so maybe it was bold of me to assume that there would be a next date but if you aren’t-…”

“No! no, no. Uhh... I also had a great time, so of course I wouldn’t be opposed to going on another date with you.”

Your cheeks felt warm as he flashed you a warm smile. Silence fell over the two of you as you looked at one another. Your breathing picked up as Chris leaned in. Just as he was centimeters from your face you took a deep breath before gently speaking up.

“I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Chris chuckled as he stayed in the same spot.

“Well, technically this isn’t our first date.”

“Oh right, since we made a deal to strike out our first real date you mean?”

“Yes and no…It’s after 12, so technically it’s a brand new day meaning it’s the second date (well actually the third), sooo…”

You smirked at him hearing his arguments and justified reasons.

“So, based on technicalities, you just assume that we’re going to kiss?”

“I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

Again he flashed you an all dimpled-smile your way. You remained frozen in your spot and waited for Chris’ move. You stood very close and you could smell his scent and breath on your face. He smelled of cotton candy, hotdogs and popcorn. Slowly you felt the absence of his closeness and you opened your eyes when you felt your hand being grabbed. Chris had taken a step backwards and brought your hand up to his lips where he placed a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

“Miss Y/L/N, thanks for an amazing time today. I hope to hear from you soon for that next date.”

You watched in amazement as Chris gave you a small bow and turned to walk back to his car. You let out a small gasp of the air you’d been holding in.

“Hey!”

Chris turned around to face you.

“Are you just going to leave now?...I mean…- You’re not even going to try to kiss me?”

Chris’ face lit up a bit and you could’ve sworn you saw a smug smirk form on his face. Chris took three long strides before he stood right back in front of you. He leaned in once again and you found yourself closing your eyes again waiting and anticipating what were to come. You felt his face come closer to yours. His beard softly tickled you. Just as your lips were about to touch, he moved his lips to your cheek where he pressed a very soft and delicate kiss. You couldn’t contain the small gasp that left your lips as realization hit you.

“Sleep tight, Y/N.”

Your eyes soon found two blue intense one staring at you before he turned around and walked back to his car. You let out a small huff in annoyance as you watched the handsome man walk off wishing he’d kissed you.

“Well, you’re certainly something else!”

“Right back at ya.”

“So you’re really just leaving, now?”

“Yup. Think about how big the anticipation will be now.”

“It better be good then, Christopher.”

“It will be, Y/N. I know it.”

Before getting into his car, Chris waved at you and drove off. You stood back feeling dumbstruck but in the best ways. You were already looking forward to your next date with Chris.

Tag list

@patzammit

@chris-butt

@castellandiangelo

@harrysthiccthighss

@tantricevans

@katiew1973      

@denisemarieangelina

@pinkdiamond1016

@missswriter

@arabescapr

@liquorlaughslove

@chaneajoyyy

@sunflowercaptain

@ la-cey 

@adoreyou976

@geminievans1

Tag list for Falling, Fallen: 

@commanderrykov

@ thatoneperson5000

@hockeychick10

[lovelivingmydreams]

A story by heroes and villains

Book 2: secrets revealed Virgil Anker: trust and caution

Masterlist book 1

It's not easy to know who to trust and who to be wary off. But Virgil better learn soon.

When Virgil got back to the new house, he took a shower and sat himself on the couch in his pj’s. He was listening to his ‘winding down’ playlist. He was grinning to himself. Someone else was wearing his design. Sure he’d made Janus a shirt way back in freshmen year, but he barely wore it outside the house. This would be seen by tons of people. And it looked so good! He couldn’t wait till Monday. He could imagine Roman’s reaction. Would there be pictures in the papers? On the news? He just might buy a paper so he could keep a clipping to look back on later. Thinking about gushing over the costume with Roman at school made him think about seeing Janus again. J had skipped school after what happened in the hallway, leading to him having detention all of last week. He hadn’t even so much as looked at Virgil since. Not in a, “I am mad and ignoring you way,”. He looked ashamed. Scared. That was what made it so hard for Virgil to stick to his plan. Janus looked so hurt and lost and ashamed. And during lunch, he was nowhere to be found. Virgil needed to talk to Picani about this tomorrow. It would be a busy session. He contemplated where things had gone wrong for the millionth time for a while until he heard the door and looked up to see his fathers enter the room. “You’re back!” he greeted as he sat up. “So I gotta know, who’s your fourth guy?” he wondered casually. His dad just looked at him confused. “What do you mean?” “For your poker nights,” he clarified with a chuckle. Imagining Patton or uncle Thomas playing poker was kind of funny. It seemed so out of character for them. Still he couldn’t imagine what else would take all three of them getting together like this. Thomas had taught musical theatre classes, back when he was still a professor, and now he was the dean. Then again, Virgil wasn’t certain his uncle was always present. Tonight might just have been one time he happened to be there. But Patton definitely had been part of this project as much as Logan was. The past six months at the very least, but most likely from the start. “No cardgames I’m afraid kiddo. We’ll tell you about the project once it’s finished. It’s all confidential for now I’m afraid,” Patton told him gently. Virgil looked long and hard at Patton. He wasn’t lying. And confidential stuff made a lot of sense. He shrugged, letting it go. Even if his first guess was right after all and his dad was doing some kind of superhero stuff as BrainStorm, if Patton was there to help him Virgil felt assured that they’d be safe. Though he wouldn’t know how Patton, or Thomas, got wrapped up with anything involving a former super villain. “Okay, keep your secrets,” he sighed as he stretched. “Night Pat, night Lo,” he bid before heading upstairs. “Goodnight Virgil, I love you.” Virgil looked back at his dad when he heard that. “Love you to dad,” he replied with a smile. “Love you three kiddo!” Patton added, making Virgil laugh. “Love ya Pat.” And with that he went upstairs to his room. His new room was bigger than the one in his old house. But he didn’t care much about that. His old room had memories. He missed it honestly. He started to worry that he’d been too quick to say that he wanted to move out. No matter how nice the new house was, and how conveniently it was positioned, it would never quite be like the one he’d known most of his life. He let himself drop on his bed. It was pointless to think about that now. At this point, another family had probably moved into their old home. They’d brought their own furniture. Probably painted over the walls. Erasing the little doodles he’d made when he was little and bored. Before his mind could go any farther down that path, he heard a buzzing. Roman sent him a text. “Greetings! I just got back. Sorry for not checking in earlier. Could not be helped. Did you get home alright?” Virgil chuckled and texted back. “LOL. You worry too much. Hope you had a fun night.” Virgil certainly did. Just thinking about it made him impatient. Oh why not? Before he could second guess himself, he pressed call. “Virgil?” Roman sounded surprised, but Virgil was already way to giddy about his news. “I had to tell you now. I saw him!” he whispered. “Who? And why are we whispering?” Roman asked, mimicking his volume. “I’m supposed to be asleep,” he admitted, earning himself a chuckle. “Ok… Who did you see?” Roman asked. “Dream Prince!” expecting the logical next question he edited his story a little. “I went for a walk and I guess he was doing patrol in my neighborhood, I caught a glimpse of him,” well, that was an understatement. But he couldn’t tell Roman everything. Not yet. He’d lectured Prince about being cautious just today. He trusted Roman. But anyone could overhear them at any time. “He was wearing my costume! You were right! I can’t wait to get a good look at it in action!” Again. “You think someone got a picture? I didn’t have a chance. God I should’ve taken a picture so I could show you!” Though he wasn’t sure if he could’ve managed to get a believable citizens picture of him. He doubted Prince could be photographed if he didn’t want to be. “I’m sure I’ll see your work plastered around the front pages Monday. Pretty sure you missed out on the Saturday edition. But the news stations might talk about it.” Virgil’s cheeks hurt from smiling. “You sure you don’t want your name attached to it?” Virgil considered that for a moment. It would be kind of cool, he supposed. But he was trying not to draw any attention to his civilian self so long as he did the vigilante gig. Asides from that, he didn’t want anyone to be able to claim any of his future successes were due to his connection to a superhero, or have expectations based on this one work. “Yeah… I just… I know I should want the credit. But, just in case he becomes like this big time hero,” which seemed very likely to Virgil. His powers were pretty amazing and he had the personality to make it big. “I don’t want my possible career to be defined before it starts, you know what I mean?” He hoped he did, because he was starting to get confused by his own phrasing. “Maybe I’ll come forth with the original sketch when I’m like, 30, to prove it was me if it still matters by then,” he concluded. “Sounds like a smart plan. I’m going to let you go. I do need my beauty sleep after all.” Oh, he made it too easy. “You said it, not me,” he chuckled. “Night Princey.” “Buenas noches. Mi querido amigo,” Roman replied dramatically. Virgil rolled his eyes. Though he smiled as he realized Roman just called him ‘dear friend’. Trying to hide the way that warmed his chest he let out a groan. “Bon nuit,” he huffed in retaliation before hanging up. Janus had taught him a bit of French over the years. And just like that his thoughts returned to his old friend. Janus had been well behaved the past week. He hadn’t gotten in a single fight. Maybe he should try and show that he noticed. Just saying ‘hi’ wouldn’t be that bad right? Show that he meant it when he said he wanted to get back to being friends, real friends, at some point. With thoughts of a happy ending for everyone, Virgil fell asleep. The next morning he woke up early. He made sure to be quiet as he got ready for the day. Once downstairs he turned on the tv. And sure enough, the local station was talking about Dream Prince. A professional picture of him leaping across the street from one rooftop to another serving as background. The anchors were talking about his heroic deeds of last night, ranging from walking a girl home to taking down those criminals ‘single handedly’. “No one can deny it. This young hero finds no feat too great or too small, and he does it with style. Looks like he’s settled on a look.” They thought his costume had style! Virgil was vibrating with excitement. He couldn’t sit still. He had to do something with all this energy. He started on breakfast. Bacon, eggs… It had been a while since he’d felt up to making a big breakfast and been the first to wake up. Patton was as much of an early riser as he and Logan. Which meant he hadn’t had Virgil’s secret omelet recipe yet. He was bouncing on his feet as the two anchors were analyzing the costume in as much detail as they could. They found the heels a bold choice and the mask an elegant way to incorporate a crown. When Virgil heard his dads move about upstairs he turned the news off and set the table. Patton really liked the eggs. That or he really wanted Virgil to think so. Three servings made him think that it wasn’t pretend though. After breakfast, uncle Thomas picked him up for their trip to the zoo. Virgil had been looking forward to it. It felt forever ago since he last spent some one on one time with his honorary uncle. “That’s a nice one. You really got the eyes down well,” he complemented as Virgil finished a sketch of a koala. “Thanks,” Virgil said, pretty happy with the result as well. “You are really talented. Guess it runs in the family. I remember your dad scribbling away in his poetry notebook all the time.” Virgil looked at his uncle with wide eyes. “You knew my father?” he asked perplexed. Thomas frowned down at him for a moment before his eyes widened in understanding. “Oh, no. I never personally met your birthfather. I meant Logan,” he clarified. Virgil was a little disappointed. For a second he’d hoped to learn a little more about his birthparents. But if Thomas had been talking about Logan… “My dad wrote poetry?” Thomas chuckled. “Yeah. He was pretty good. Though he’d disagree. He felt more comfortable using his sharp tongue on the debate team. He won us some prizes,” he recalled. Virgil took this in. He had wondered what his dad was like at his age before. Now was a good time to ask more. “So poetry and debate team… Guess that is why you two became friends, huh?” he asked. Thomas shook his head a little awkwardly. “Not exactly. With my social anxiety I probably wouldn’t have approached him if my mom hadn’t told me about his mom losing custody…” “What!?” Virgil gasped. He never knew that. Thomas cringed realizing he had maybe said to much. He looked down at Virgil. “Your grandparents weren’t parents of the year. Not abusive, but… neglectful I suppose. Logan never talked about it, so I don’t know the details. Just what little ” “He was in the system?” Virgil asked with a shiver. He’d heard about the system. He was glad he never had to experience it. “No, like for you there was someone ready to take him in right away,” Thomas told him. Virgil wanted to ask who had adopted his dad. But he had an idea… And he kind of didn’t want to hear he was wrong. He wanted it to be his parents. It would explain why Logan had such a hard time talking about them, but had so much love and respect for them when he did. “What was it like rooming with him? Was he secretly a slob in college?” he asked hopefully. Thomas relaxed and started talking about a few college stories, though he quickly veered into high school and early parenthood stories. At the end of the day Virgil had a good handful of animal sketches, an idea for his art project for the semester and Thomas dropped him off at Picani’s office. “Hello Virgil. How are you today? I heard you had a good scare earlier this week.” Virgil let out a deep sigh, sat down and started his story. Leaving Picani’s office a little bit later than planned, he felt a lot better. Or, well ‘better’ never had been the right word. He’d realized that sometime during the camp. After talking about Picani about what bothered him, he was still bothered by it. But he understood things more clearly. He felt less confused and had an idea of what to do about it. Picani never told him everything would be okay. He helped him understand what was wrong and how to either steer it in a better direction, or learn to live with it. He now felt less uncertain about wanting to give Janus a sign that there was still hope for them, even after what happened last week. He felt less guilty over indulging the people asking him out even though Roman was still very much on his mind. He even felt better about getting more information than he should’ve from uncle Thomas. It had been a relief talking about his theory that his dad had been in his parent’s custody for at least four years and that that was, maybe, the reason why he took him in when they passed. And the fact that he had at least one set of grandparents that might be still alive. He wasn’t going to ask about them though. If they held bad memories for his dad, he didn’t think he wanted to know them. It was very low on his list of priorities. The fact that his dad never mentioned them told him enough. The whole scare with the ceiling lamp was discussed and Picani left it alone when Virgil said that he didn’t want to waste too much time on it. “I’m home!” he announced as he came through the door. He heard Patton call a greeting from the kitchen and saw his dad come from the living room to meet him in the doorway. “Dad!” he called out eagerly as he gave his father a hug. “Virgil? Not that I do not appreciate you seem excited to see me. But is there a particular reason?” There were a few honestly. Knowing a bit more about how he ended up being raised by the smartest, most patient man he’d ever met had him excited. On top of that knowing what his dad was like at his age made him feel closer to him. He decided to focus on the latter. He’d turn sixteen soon. If Logan hadn’t initiated the conversation by then, he would. He could be patient for another month. “Uncle Thomas told me about your teen years. I didn’t know you were on the debate team!” he told him. He could imagine his dad thriving in that environment though. Maybe they should check out the debate team this year in between Roman’s play and Virgil’s art exhibit. Logan gave Virgil a small smile, a bit of pride in his eyes. It was rare for Virgil to see his dad proud of himself. He liked it. “Well, yes. It was a bit of a hobby of mine, as well as an attempt to get better at socializing,” Logan said modestly. Virgil picked up on the operative word in that sentence. ‘Attempt’. “You were a socially awkward nerd,” he concluded with a chuckle. He was so used to being nothing like his dad. Finding flaws and similarities to himself in the man he’d idolized as long as he could remember, it was strangely exhilarating. Logan, however seemed to misunderstand what had Virgil so thrilled. “Hey, that’s a complement! I’m a socially awkward artsy kid. Sounds like I’m your son after all!” he clarified. That reminded him though. “Speaking off. Uncle Thomas told me you wrote poetry back in the day.” “Really!?” Patton exclaimed from the kitchen. Logan was blushing. Scrambling for a way out of the conversation it seemed. “I… Experimenting with different forms of self-expression is a natural part of discovering one’s identity as a teenager. It was a phase. I would like to forget about it.” Virgil was about to argue against it, but Patton beat him to it. “Aw, but poetry is so romantic,” he pouted. And Virgil could see the way that affected his dad. Well, their date nights were about to get ten times more sappy. Hopefully going for the heart, and his ego, would work out just as well for Virgil. “That’s too bad. I thought I could make a project around your old work for art class,” he sighed disappointedly. And just like that his dad’s firm posture melted away. “I’ll see if I can find some of my old notebooks. Just ask my consent before you pick one.” Virgil couldn’t resist hugging him again. “Thanks dad. You won’t regret it. I promise.” He felt his father put his arms around him gently. A wordless “you’re welcome”. Virgil was feeling very chatty during dinner and so told his parents all about his day. They had to go to the university again tonight. Since Virgil was planning on meeting up with Prince and not sure if he’d be out all night or just long enough to talk to the guy, he bid them both a good night now. Just in case he’d be too tired to wait for them to get home once he got back. As soon as they were out the door Virgil dug in his closet for his face mask, something he wore when he was feeling sick and didn’t want to infect others. And his shades. He was going to take a chance on Prince today. He made sure he had his evidence at the ready. He’d updated it earlier that week and last night he hadn’t learned anything new. He decided to go with the same look as yesterday so Prince would recognize him more easily. He made his way to the street and vanished in the alleys. After a few minutes he found the rooftop they’d used as their rendezvous point last night. Hopefully Prince wouldn’t make him wait too long. He lowered the intensity of his cloak to be more easily spotted should someone be looking for him. Suddenly he heard a sound behind him. “Good evening my shadowy friend,” the grand voice of Dream Prince drifted through the air. Virgil turned around, his coat flaring out with the movement. “Hey there highness,” he greeted as he tossed him the evidence bag. Clear of any fingerprints or DNA as far as he could manage it, as usual. Prince studied it for a moment. “Is this…?” he sounded surprised. “A show of good will. I thought about it…” not enough. Maybe he was biased because he reminded him of Roman. Or because he’d seen him during his training wheel days. Maybe he didn’t want to be alone anymore. “You seem alright. I’ll… I’ll have your back. If you have mine.” They could help each other. Grow stronger together. Weren’t heroes always at their strongest once they learned to work together? “You do know that if I hand this in, they’ll know I made contact?” This guy. Virgil chuckled, finding this strangely endearing. “You mean you haven’t told them yet?” Prince’s posture straightened almost defiantly. “You didn’t say you were alright with that!” Was he actually insulted by the idea of reporting back to his people without Virgil’s permission? Guess he’d read him right. Good to know. “Okay. Well, consider this my permission. If I don’t want to be found, I’ll disappear Prince.” He’d find a way to avoid Prince if it was necessary. “Tell the chief all communication with me goes through you. If you don’t mind.” Because Virgil didn’t trust the chief enough to go anywhere near her. Prince nodded as he reached for his ear. “I am currently debriefing Phantom. I’ll let you know when I’m done here. Tell chief I’ll stop by with a package. Radio silence until further notice.” Virgil couldn’t stop himself from letting out a chuckle. This guy. He really needed to be more careful. “You ever thought I might be a bad guy? You shouldn’t cut off your back up like that in front of me.” Had they taught him nothing at the GTH? “You’ve had plenty chances to take me out,” Prince pointed out, much to Virgil’s surprise. “You could have let those goons get me the first time you saw me. You could have attacked me while I was busy with those guys yesterday. And who knows how many times over the summer. And on top of that. Who says my communicator is my only way of contacting back up?” Okay, so maybe Prince knew what he was doing after all. “Fair enough. So what now?” He had no idea what would come after this. He just knew that Prince reached out, and he’d accepted. The ball was back in Prince’s court. “Now… I warn you about the collector.” That sounded very serious. He almost wanted to get out before he could get involved, but a gut feeling told him that this was important. He eyed the edge of the roof. Well might as well get comfortable. “I feel like this is a sitting down kind of conversation.” Once they both sat down, Virgil put on his sunglasses and dropped his cloak completely. It was symbolic or whatever. Letting his guard down in a visible way. He turned to the prince expectantly, a little annoyed at how the dark glasses limited his vision. Prince took in a deep breath and started his story. “The collector is an old enemy of Manifestor. He recruits Gifted, and those he thinks deserve to be gifted for some kind of revolution. You and I are probably his kind of people. Young, full of potential. All that stuff creeps like that love to go on about.” Virgil’s eyes widened. That did sound bad. He was suddenly very glad he had not confided in anyone about his powers so far. Who knew if the Chief was on the Collector’s payroll? Or maybe Picani was being spied on. “So we should be careful, you and I. I want to help you out,” Prince told him as he offered him two small objects. A stone and lip balm? “These can help you hide your identity without having to use your… Do you have a name for it?” Prince wondered. Virgil wasn’t sure if he could disguise his voice. But if he did, he was not going to risk Prince being someone from school who might recognize his voice. “Cloak,” he replied before dropping his guard again. “Cloak… Cool,” Prince nodded as he showed the black stone. “So this, is a voice modulator. I adjusted it to fit your tempest voice as best as I could.” Virgil couldn’t help laughing. Tempest voice? That sounded so cool honestly. But man was it dramatic. “You clearly have not heard it,” Prince pointed out and he had a point. He sounded normal to himself. “What’s with the lipstick?” he asked. “This will paint your hair black faster than any hair dye. It’s also a very good hair gel and it washes out right away,” Virgil bit his lip as Prince offered him the items. He was not used to being helped. Not as ‘Phantom’ at least. He still struggled with it as Virgil. Letting Roman help him with his English assignment yesterday had been hard. But he had to let people help him. He had to take a leap of faith here. So he took the items and got up to try them out. “No peeking!” he warned, though he would keep his cloak up. It was more to test if Prince would be tempted to go against his wishes. He didn’t. Virgil placed the modulator on his throat where Prince had his red stone and applied the balm to his hair. He spread it out and took a moment to decide on the style he wanted to go with. He tried for windblown, though he wasn’t sure if he did it right without a mirror. “Okay, let’s try this,” he said testing out his new voice. Wow, if that was what he really sounded like then Tempest voice might just have been the most accurate description. He looked back at Prince who was getting up and waling over to him. “Okay. So… what’s the plan?” he asked, curious what Prince was expecting out of this collaboration. “Well… We could try and meet up here regularly. We might not always patrol at the same time, and you might be busy. But I could… If you are okay with it… I could help you coordinate with the cops. Like you kinda suggested earlier. Or we could like, do some patrolling together? Keep each other company…” Oh, that was cute. Prince could be insecure. Virgil was starting to think he was unshakable. “It might be nice talking someone who gets it you know? You’re my age right?” he wondered. Nice try. Very subtle. “I mean… I guess, but I’m not sure how old you are exactly,” he shrugged casually. He wasn’t going to give anything away that easily. “Fair point.” Or maybe there hadn’t been an ulterior motive. He was getting paranoid. “Anyway… What do you want?” Virgil thought about that for a moment. He hadn’t expected to be asked for his opinion. “I mean… Debriefings sound cool,” he said casually. “I’d like to patrol with you, but my parkour is no match to that walking on air trick you got…” He was kind of jealous of that one if he was honest. “I was thinking of hanging around the clubbing district at the end of the night and making sure some party goers get home safe. I’ll see you around there when you’re done?” This talk was fun and all, but Prince should probably check in with his team soon. And Virgil needed to think about things for a minute. “That sounds like a good idea,” Prince agreed as he gave him a bow. “Until then. Know that the GTA’s resources are now at your disposal through me. So if you want to get a proper suit or other fun toys, you need only ask.” And with that Virgil’s new ally sprinted of into the night. A real suit huh? Virgil shook his head. He’d have to think on that some more. For now, he had work to do.

Hero au

@cirishere @hestianerd1 @moonlightshow00​ @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043​ @angelic-cali​ @selenechris​ @theblackveilinreverse

[pikapikarawr]

I-Land Ep 4 Thoughts

**Spoilers warning

As more episodes pass, the more I'm starting to dislike this voting system lol. At first, it was a nice idea that the I-Landers would get to pick their teammates, but now, it's just too un-objective, ugh. The original 6 I-Landers that have never left just seem to stick together, which seems increasingly unfair.

Grounders Fire Performance

They had a solid performance. I agree that they seemed to have more consistent facial expressions and feeling of the song overall. Glad that Jay brought them together and they did well! :) Everyone looked so fired up and serious. The Grounders are coming for you, I-Landers! >:)

Jay was a good center! He fit the vibe of the song really well. 

Niki's facial expression was awkward during his part when he shrugs and says "gwaenchanha" (괜찮아). The first part he sang was good, but then when he said gwaenchanha, that smirk looked so awkward. I think that's the reason or part of why he didn't get picked to go up.

I’m surprised Hanbin took the vocal part (part 4) that Geonu did. He didn't seem like he's a vocal position. Mm I feel like he hit the notes and his voice was powerful enough, but the pronunciation still sounded a little off.

Voting/ Changes in Teams My prediction was right that all original grounders got voted back to ground. Poor Taeyong who got stepped on got sent back. I thought Yoonwon had decent facial expressions when I watched his fancam, so I didn't expect him to get voted off, but the I-Landers got the impression that he didn't work hard enough. Man, it must really suck being the one with 11 votes because that means everyone voted for you :(.

Sunoo got in the Top 5 and still got voted out. These people need to stop voting Sunoo out because he's just going to keep coming back lol and he deserves to be there. I kinda don't think he should debut with them anymore because wow, they do not deserve him if they keep treating him like this! lol. The same thing with Daniel haha, they both seem more cheerful and have a friendlier vibe than some of the other Islanders. I think they should just debut together with some of the other grounders at this point. Can the grounders just debut a group too? Because they’re winning my heart more than the I-Landers >_<. I think the I-Landers keep voting Sunoo out because he has a more bubbly personality and doesn't really match the others. But I think it's good to have more variety in the team and he seems like someone who could boost the mood. Maybe he rubs the I-Landers the wrong way somehow that we’re not seeing, since he keeps getting voted out even though he does well.

Such a cruel twist of fate that K used his exemption card to save Jungwon, but then caused Taki to go ground :(. K got a good edit here and we got to see his human side of feeling guilty for sending Taki to Ground, even though unintentional.  I think Taki is too young, both in age and maturity to debut though. He still seems and looks like a little kid. Even though he's talented and likeable, I think the Company just sent him there to get some exposure/experience. 

On a side note, I thought it was funny when "everyone" was surprised that Jungwon got voted out initially. Obviously some of you voted for him, why are you surprised?? lol probably it was the grounders that voted for him. I like Jungwon, but it would've been nice to see one of the Original 6 to go down to ground. That alliance is really becoming too powerful. And it'd be nice to see Jungwon interact with diffent people and experience the friendlier environment of Ground. I'm pretty sure he'd be able to go back up.

I was completely off on my prediction on who'd go up to I-Land lol. I was right about Jay, but wrong about everyone else.(Edit: oh I was right about Jake too haha, so 2/4 right. Better than I thought). It's hard to guess who will go up without seeing the performance though. I'm glad Jake went up and got to be reunited with Sunghoon :) and I was surprised, but happy that Youngbin went up! Glad to see him improve :). He only had 1 line again, but he always does his one line really well.

The Vocal/Dance Choreo and Reps

I'm surprised that the Grounders Dance video seemed to be made specifically for Nicholas and (kinda) Taki to be in. It's possible that someone else could do the locking part, but really no one in the show can do the bboying part except Nicholas. There's an airchair to nike part in that dance, which is probably impossible for someone with no bboying experience to learn and perfect in 5 days.. Are the producers giving Nicholas a chance because they want him in the group? So far he hasn't really stood out much. Or maybe that was like a "suggested" dance break and they can change it? haha I guess we'll see.

When Niki thought Hanbin was a better dance rep than Jaeho, omg I got so excited. I was like yes, Hanbin, show them!! I thought it was nice that he thought about Jaeho's feelings, but Niki was right that he should also consider the good of the team. I liked that Jaeho was accepting of the results and what was best for the team. He didn't take the change personally and continued to work hard. He really wanted that part.

When Zico asked who was the dance rep, Hanbin had such a big, proud smile on his face when he raised his hand. Aww he looked soo happy :)).

It would've been so hype if the Jopping team was reunited! But it seems like Hanbin originally picked to join the Vocal Team, so during the mid-evaluation, I don't think he had enough time and he hadn't memorized all the choreo yet. What a shame :(((. I hope Hanbin gets his confidence back and makes it to I-Land! He has that personality/vibe that I just want to root for >_<. I think he might get into I-Land from the global vote, I don't know if he'll make it to the final group though.

Sunoo and Daniel for the vocal reps!! I loved this team :). It was a blessing in disguise that they both got voted back to Ground. If they were in I-Land, they probably wouldn't have been able to perform because Heesung automatically takes up a vocal spot lol and Geonu has shown more of his vocal ability to the rest of I-Land, so would've been more likely to be voted over them. And like I said before, the I-Landers don't seem to appreciate them -__-".

Funny moments:

In I-Land, the 2002 team (Sunghoon, Jake, and EJ) was so cute. The caption was something like "they're not really in sync, but they're having a good time" hahah. It would've been nice if we saw a clip of them perform.

Mnet is on the Sunghoon and Jake ship, and same lol. There's a dedicated 5 min clip of them just arm wresting on Mnet's youtube channel. I really hope these 2 debut together. Sunghoon has a pretty high chance, but I'm not sure how popular Jake is / his skills, since he hasn't been a trainee for that long. He seems popular internationally, but not sure about in Korea.

*Taki thinking about doing the vocal position* Niki: “We need to do the dance position :)”  hahah Niki’s so straight forward and  honest xD

Rain after hearing Seon and Jaebom: “Nothing can happen to Heesung and Geonu” me: *ded*

Predictions:

Both vocal performances were solid. I don't have much to say about them and I'm not good at judging vocals. I think the I-Landers will probably win the vocals round though.

From the previews, it seems like the Grounders will win the Dance portion and maybe overall. From the demo videos, the Grounders choreo seems .. more difficult and flashy? They have the bboy part and they have the flip that Niki does. The I-Landers video didn't seem to have any stunts like that, the only part that I remember/stood out was that there was krumping. I liked K’s intro that he made for One of a Kind, that had a chill/cool vibe.

It will be interesting to see Sunghoon krump next week :0. He seems soft and his dance has been more chill/graceful from the first two performances. So we'll see how he'll pull off krumping.

After the last test (test 4), the producers will pick 3 and the I-Landers will pick 3 to go down to Ground. FINALLY a chance for some objectivity and to break the Original 6 alliance (and for Seon to go to Ground lol). 

Even Seon admitted that he knows that he's probably not there because of his skill. For someone who was on Produce 101, he is doing a bad job of not being evil edited. You’d think he’d know better.. I think because he's older, he's just really desperate to debut and maybe this is one of his last chances. He's probably also not confident of his skills and thinks his skills aren't good enough, so he's been doing these kinda manipulative/sneaky things. If he worked/focused on his skills and showing a better personality more, I think it’d be harder for them to evil edit him so hard. I hope Mnet stops evil editing him tho, I feel bad for him. I read some posts that said he’s actually really nice and would make a good leader, but Mnet just hasn’t showed that on the show yet :/ so idk.

Thank you if you made it this far :)). Sorry it’s so long lol, I have no one to talk about the show in real life, so I just post all my thoughts here :x.

[mcrmadness]

Here’s a video I made from all the videos I took from Rammstein’s first Finland concert last year. They’ve been sitting there in my files for months and finally I did something about them and here’s the result. It’s in 1080p so I definitely recommend to watch that on full screen and in HD.

Here’s a text I wrote on YT desc box to go with it and there’s no point writing the same stuff twice so here we go:

Finally I had energy and motivation to edit these videos into one bigger video. Most of the clips are shorter clips of the songs, only a few being almost the whole songs. I was filming with my phone (Sony Xperia XZ) and camera eats lots of battery so I had to try and film as little as possible but I still wanted more than a couple of clips worth few seconds, so here's 22 minutes long video about the whole show. I also had no idea how my phone was going to do but I'm surprised, the video quality is perfect and the sound quality could be so much worse. Unfortunately you can't hear much more than Till's vocals and the drums but if I was to film with my digital camera... you'd have heard nothing but distorted sound broke by the loud bass. So I think it's better this way.

I was standing quite far (plus I'm very short) so I didn't really see what was happening on the stage, so when I film these videos, I see everything from a different perspective too :D But anyway, I'm in no way feeling bad for standing so far because now I had the perfect opportunity to admire the actual light and fire show! It was amazing and we could have not got the better weather for the night! I'm still so amazed by the whole light show whenever I watch these videos. I still have time to see the show on stage at some point anyway, if not in real life, then at least from the dvd in the future, whenever they decide to release that :D Rammstein is a band that I won't even try to get to front row, I've never been too close anyway and barely have seen the guys even so I'm always so excited to tell people that hey, I could see Schneider's head! Or if I saw a glimbse of the guitarists! Pretty much the only time to actually see them with my own eyes is when they used the platforms to lift them up on stage :D But it's funny to think I've been to 4 Rammstein concerts now but I've barely even seen the guys with my own eyes lol. More often through my videos afterwards! :D

Thank you for Rammstein for an awesome concert. I always feel like dying at the beginning because of how loud and huge everything is but then I'm still happy that I went there. This was probably loudest than ever and the sound waves sometimes made me feel like they were killing me there and I just HOPE they don't outdo even this or I'm sure there will be people actually dying lol.

Feel free to reblog.

[zefyre]

Excuse me? How could I miss any of your updates xD?!? Cheking in regulary and the new pfk one s just so swoon worthy! I love how you wrote the whole thing, And you are ofc right, the jelly thing would be more like James (maybe at first just teasing her how he is jelly, then really becoming jelly and last stage would be scared that she does leave dumb him? lol now I want a fic with james becoming jelly! *pretty pls?*). Ugh I loved how you wrote it so much! Cant wait for raising the stakes tbh

aksjhdfd i’m!! so sorry!!! / cries/ this has been sitting in my inbox for almost a year and i started it back when you sent this but couldn’t manage to finish until today when i stumbled onto it in my docs and decided to try again. thank you for your sweet words btw haha, i hope you see this and enjoy~

.

It started when James found Kagome muttering almost furiously one day, a letter in hand and a flush across her face. 

She hadn’t noticed his approach, so distracted by her letter she was, and he felt his curiosity grow to a point where he couldn’t help himself. He casually strode past her, a growing smile on his face when he did so undetected, before he backtracked to sneak up on her. 

Once close enough, James hooked his chin over her shoulder as he simultaneously grabbed onto her hips to hold her steady, so he didn’t get clipped in the chin if she jolted. 

A chuckle escaped him when not only did Kagome jump as he predicted, but she also let out the most adorable squeak, slapping the letter against her chest – an act that piqued his curiosity even more, as if she had something to hide.

“Wotcha reading?” he drawled, resting his head against the side of her own, only to draw back when he saw the flush on her face darken out of the corner of his eyes. His grin grew, a trickle of giddiness trickling up his spine at the sight of it spreading all the way down her neck. “Oh ho ho,” he said with a breathy laugh, “This wouldn’t be from a secret admirer now, would it?

He laughed in earnest when her face twisted in an expression of mortification, a whine escaping her throat. “Well that’s a yes,” he sniggered. He raised a hand, wiggling his fingers pleading. “Are you gonna let me see it?”

With a long-suffering sigh and a reluctance that one would think she was signing over her life, Kagome surrendered the letter, holding it out for James to read. Unable to witness the deed with her own eyes, she shut them and leaned her head back against James’ shoulder to save herself from the grief.

James eagerly scoured the letter and soon realized with a bubble of delight that Kagome’s reaction wasn’t an overreaction – the bloke actually opened the letter with some of the cheesiest poetry he’d ever laid his eyes upon. 

“To my dearest angel, with eyes so faire, even the stars cannot match the luster of your stare,” James tried reciting with somber flair – he managed up until the word “luster", breaking out into pained wheezes trying to hold back his mirth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no more reading aloud,” he choked out when he saw the tell-tale twitch of her eyebrow and the tightening grip she held the letter,  and knew if he kept it up she would looked ball up the parchment without hesitation. “Okay, okay, phew.” As he read on, his smile diminished once he got past the cheesy poetry and the letter took a more earnest turn. “You know him well?” he wondered absently as he continued to read, not knowing why that surprised him so much, and not wanting to know why that idea..  niggled at him, either.

He thought it was just some anonymous, star-struck underclassman writing her, to be honest, but the letter was now talking about a meeting they had in the summer. 

Kagome let out a sound that was a cross between a sigh and a hum. “For a few years now, yeah… He’s a good friend of Inuyasha’s brother. We met over… the summer after fourth year, I think it was, when we happened visit them at the same time.”

He glanced at her, blinking owlishly. “I didn’t even realize Inuyasha had a brother.”

Kagome snorted. “Half brother,” she explained,  “He’s a couple years older and they get on like cats and dogs. He also went to Durmstrang, where he met Kouga.”

“And he’s been sending you these things ever since?” James asked, taking her hand and waving the letter in the air before stopping short, mouth dropping open as realization hit him. He sputtered, laughter bubbling in his chest, “No, no, no, this isn’t the same guy that sent you that singing howler on Valentine’s day in fifth year, is it?

James all but exploded in laughter when Kagome groaned and buried her face in her hands. “You got detention for a week for setting that thing on fire in the middle of the hall!” he crowed, hugging her tightly to his chest in lieu of clutching his stomach, his head folding over her shoulder.

Kagome began to bang her head back against his chest, repeatedly. “That was so embarrassing,” she groaned, sinking against him. “The detention was worth it to get it to stop.”

“Merlin,” he muttered, still laughing, “I think I might be a little jealous,” he teased, pouting his lips at her.

“Don’t be.” Kagome said it so bluntly that it made him laugh again. “I tried telling him I’m not interested but he never really listened. I think he was hanging on in the hopes that I’ll give in one day.”

Now that made him frown. “Not bloody likely,” he muttered, unconsciously pulling her snugger against his chest. 

Kagome grinned and reached up to give him a little pat on his cheek in reassurance. “He’s harmless, if a little pushy maybe,  but I think he does it mostly to get on Inuyasha’s nerves. Now they really hate each other.“ Instead of pulling her hand away, she used it to cup his cheek, sweeping her thumb along the curve of his cheekbone. “Since he found out about you, it’s now like a jokey tradition kind of thing,” she explained, rolling her eyes to add, “Still bloody embarrassing though.”

James felt something in his chest settle then. “Oh,” he said a a small laugh, perhaps a little too relieved, and his chest puffed out a bit. “You told him about me?” he cheesed, feeling smug.

Kagome burst out into a bout of snickering. “More like Inuyasha gloated in Kouga’s face first thing that he lost his chance when we both visited this past summer.”

James was pleasantly surprised Inuyasha did that for him – after all, they got off on the wrong foot last year and things had been awkward around each other ever since, which made the moment’s they crossed paths in the tower uncomfortable to be sure. “He did that?” The ‘For me?’ unspoken, only to have his spirits dampened when Kagome snorted and shot him a look of pity. 

Not for him then.

“They really, really don’t get along,” Kagome explained, laughing once more.

.

.

Kagome continued to receive the letters, but after some time she began to keep the correspondence to herself. They weren’t cheesy love letters, she’d tell him, but more personal in nature and as such it didn’t feel right to share with others. 

James completely understood of course, didn’t mind, but he would be lying if he said there wasn’t a… discomfiting feeling that took to stirring inside his chest whenever he witnessed a certain owl delivering letters to Kagome, one that only grew over time when the letters increased in frequency – when he’d spied the soft smile blossoming along her lips upon reading said letters. 

It got worse when Valentine’s came and she received a package – a gift, more sincere than the obnoxious ones of the singing variety she’d gotten in the past: her favorite flowers and special chocolate truffles imported from France along with another letter that made her smile bright and laugh a flattered sort of laugh and even blush the faintest shade of pink.

The burning in his chest only eased slightly when a Howler came three days later and Kagome immediately panicked, arm whipping out, wand in hand, and lighting it up into flame before the owl could even properly take off from the table – causing a chain reaction of the owl shitting in fright on a fifth year, the tablecloth catching fire, and three sixth years getting drenched with pumpkin juice in a failed attempt to put it out.

Fifty points were deducted that night from Hufflepuff, and Kagome earned herself two weeks worth of detention for the spectacular display.

.

.

It all eventually came to a head one day in the middle of Hogsmeade when James stopped short at the sight of a handsome man with long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail and striking blue eyes down on one knee in front of Kagome, one hand cradling her left while his other held out something that glinted bright in the rare sunlight.

“Holy shite, is that guy proposing to Kagome?” Sirius choked out from beside him, equally rendered stunned at the scene, but James could barely hear him over the roar in his head, over the heavy, rapid beat of his heart in his ears, over the monster that grew in his chest at the sight of someone proposing to Kagome.

Over the deafening thought that he wanted to be the one to propose to her, and the… the anger he was taken aback to find simmering hot and foul at the bottom his belly at the simple, and yet mind-blowing fact that he wasn’t the one do it first.

He was just about to turn on his heel and run away, afraid of the scene before him and even more terrified of the turn his thoughts had taken, when a sharp smack echoed out loud the street. His head snapped up to stare wide-eyed at Kagome’s hand still raised and the man’s head turned at an exact ninety degree angle.

“This is not funny!” James heard her shout, her voice strangled and frantic, tinged with disgust as she went on to say, “Put that thing away!”

And to his utmost shock, the man threw his head back in laughter and did as she asked, snapping the velvet box shut and shoving it back into his trouser pockets as he clambered back up onto his feet. 

And, to his ever mounting surprise, pull Kagome into a bear hug that while she didn’t completely accept, she didn’t exactly fight him off like he thought she would either.

Now, James found himself striding closer to the pair, unable to ignore the growing, curiosity gnawing his chest. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, old habits die hard,” James overheard the man say, still laughing. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“You’re as bad as Miroku proposing to Sango every weekend.”

“Hey, she gave in eventually didn’t she?”

Kagome refused to deign that remark with an answer. “Now get off me you big oaf, you know I have a boyfriend. He’s gonna have a heart attack if he hears about some strange bloke proposing to me in the middle of Hogsmeade!”

Striking blue eyes caught James’s and he was startled to see a hint of fang in the smirk the other man flashed.  “Oh,” he chortled, not even bothering to keep his voice quiet. In fact, he projected it so James could clearly hear him. “I don’t think you have to worry about the rumors getting to him first – he wouldn’t happen to be the tall bloke with the glasses coming just now would he? Cause he’s giving me quite the evil eye.”

Instantly, Kagome’s hand snapped out to start wrapping him against the arms to release her, which he did a chuckle, arms steering wide.

Once free, Kagome whipped around, the familiar look of mortification whenever it came to a certain Durmstrang graduate clear on her face, and he already knew what she was going to say.

“James!” she said, a little breathless and on a nervous laugh. “This is, haha, this is Kouga. I’ve told you about him.” She sounded honest-to-Merlin at her wit’s end at that last part.

James crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Am I going to have to duel him for your hand in marriage?” He looked over Kagome’s head to lock stares with Kouga as she suddenly choked. Despite his snarking tone, his gaze was uncharacteristically serious. “Cause I will.”

“What is this, the dark ages?” she sputtered, before waving her hands hastily between them, “And there will be no dueling because that was just his idea of. Of a Joke.” She turned to give Kouga a filthy glare when he shifted a little uneasily behind her, adding in a much darker tone, “A bad one.”

James broke out in an easy smile that still held a bit of edge. “Oh I know,” he said pleasantly, sounding all light-hearted now, even as he smile turned a little smug. “I could tell by the slap. I think even kids in Hogwarts could hear it, it was a beautiful one, love.”

Kagome’s head tipped to the side to study him, and it was the uncertain look that crossed her face that had him inwardly sighing and backing down. He strode over, dropping a reassuring kiss on her temple as he passed her before offering his hand to the older man. “James Potter,” he introduced himself. He also offered a half grin, “I’d say nice to meet you, but, I just saw you propose to my girlfriend.”

“Kouga,” he introduced himself laughing a little, a little nervous. “It, uh, it really was a joke,” he said, taking James’s hand and shaking it. “The ring’s actually for my girlfriend. Fiancé. Hopefully, if she accepts that is.”

“And she will,” Kagome chimed in, giving Kouga another stink eye, “So long as she doesn’t murder us both if she ever hears of this.”

Kouga waved her off with a robust laugh. “She’s in Japan visiting family, she won’t know a thing!”

“She always knows,” he heard Kagome mutter, watching as Kouga suddenly gave a deep wince when she continued to say, “She knew about Valentine’s,” which was when James realized the Howler from back then must’ve been from his girlfriend instead of Kouga and… and that Kouga must have been dating her even that far back. 

Louder, Kagome went on to say something about how Kouga started writing to her about this Ayame, his hopeful fiancé to be, asking for advice and sharing about his ideas to propose, all which James heard but didn’t quite take in completely as he was slipping back into his thoughts.

This meant, that this whole time, the growing… growing jealousy that he’d felt – he couldn’t deny what it was now that he knew – seeing Kagome with the letters… all that worry had been for nothing…

Merlin, he felt like a bloody idiot. 

.

.

It wasn’t until after Kouga left, treating them all to lunch – Sirius included, who had hung back, fists at the ready for the moment James needed him to jump in to help kick the arse of the bloke trying to propose to his best mate’s girl – for his self-admitted “dumbarse stunt” before taking the Floo back to his flat, that Kagome confronted him. 

“James?” he heard her quietly prod, felt her nudge him gently against his side. He turned to see her looking up at her, “Everything alright?”

James sighed, managed a small smile to reassure her, before turning to Sirius to ask for a moment alone with Kagome. He caught on quick, clapping him on the shoulder before getting up and making his way to the bar. 

When he turned back to face Kagome again, he found her worrying her bottom lip. With another sigh, this one fond, he reached up with his thumb to gently tug her lip away from her teeth to save it from further abuse. “It’s not your fault,” he told her with genuine honesty, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers, “I’ve just been a bit thick lately and hadn’t realize it until today.”

“Kouga,” Kagome guessed, and correctly at that. James nodded, squeezing her hand. “I never realized the letters upset you, I’m sorry, James, if I did…”

She trailed off when he shook his head, squeezing her hand more insistently this time. “No, no, this was all me, getting into my own head, seeing things that wasn’t there and never… speaking up about it. I’d thought…” he trailed off, with a rueful, self-deprecating laugh as he confessed, “I’d thought the letters were working on you, I guess. I saw you get them, and how you’d… laugh, or even blush, and built it up to something it clearly wasn’t.” 

James reached up with his free hand to tuck a fallen curl out of Kagome’s face and behind her ear, pressing a kiss against her furrowed brow to smooth it out  smiling when it worked and Kagome leaned into his touch. “Never once realized I was jealous until I saw the bloke today, down on one knee in front of you and a pretty impressive rock in his hand,” he said with a wry laugh.

“Gods,” Kagome breathed out, laughing along with him. “All this time I was helping him with Ayame, it scared the shite out of me when he did it.” Quietly, more hesitantly, she added to say, a pretty flush rising to her cheeks, “Definitely, uh, definitely not the one I thought about… about proposing to me.”

James was not ashamed to admit how breathless her admission made him, the sight of Kagome shyly averting her gaze, her blush darkening further, as he whispered, “Yeah?” and she nodded, biting her lip once again to hide her flustered smile. 

Nor was he ashamed at how eagerly he quietly confessed in return, “I think what upset me the most was the fact that I wasn’t the one to propose to you first, joke or not.” 

Stunned, Kagome steered a wide eyed gaze back up at him, silently mouthing “Really?” and he laughed, a little giddy, and pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Trust me on this, Kagome, I was not kidding about dueling that prat for your hand. And I’d’ve kicked his arse, you know I would.” At her breathless, snorting laugh, James grinned a foolish grin, before he sobered and slipped his hand free of hers to cup the sides of her face instead. 

“One day, I’m gonna propose,” he promised, and watched with rapt attention how her blush returned in full force, mingling with the freckles smattered across her cheeks, and the roundness, the misty sheen her gorgeous blue eyes took on in response.

James felt his heart flutter, so incredibly entranced right then and there, and swallowed down the nerves that was building up in his throat. 

“Not now,” he ruefully muttered, “And certainly not in middle of The Three Broomsticks where all you can smell is the butterbeer and stale fish and chips, but…” 

James trailed off and gazed warmly at Kagome with gentle grin. “But one day it’s gonna be me getting down on one knee, offering you up a ring, riding on the hope you’d grant me the incredible honor of becoming your husband, because as sure as I knew it the day you threatened me with your bat that you were something special,” and James paused, grinning wider as Kagome burst out in a watery chuckle, her eyes way past misty now and almost spilling with tears, before he told her so solemn, so empathetically, with as much emotion and confidence that he could summon, “I know you’re it for me, and there’s not a chance I’ll let you slip away, not if I can help it.”

[amosbrittany]

Shattered chapter 2

Disclaimer : I don’t own Transformers Animated or any characters for that matter.

Notes : I haven’t done fanfiction, let alone TF based, in ages. And never for TFA, So I don’t really know what the hell I’m doing but what the hell, I’m going for it. lol I took quite a few liberties, pulling bits from various continuities to build this sucker.

Warnings : I have a tendency to put characters through hell. A bit of Bumblebee/Blitzwing this chapter. Eventual Optimus/Sentinel, Megatron/Ultra Magnus, Jazz/Prowl and Ratchet/Pharma.

Summary : The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but Sentinel’s latest stunt might just kill them all…or worse.

Getting Decepticons to divulge anything of worth was a chore in of itself, but trying to get them to talk after a solar cycle's toil in the Nucleon Mines was downright impossible.

After what happened at the outpost on the Fringes, the team stationed there had been recovered and samples of the mystery substance had made its way to the Ministry of Science for study. Landfill and Broadside had also been full of the malevolent purple stuff and just as insane and violent. It had taken some work, but they had taken them down and their bodies too were taken to the Ministry. It was unclear what they were dealing with. Leftover notes from past teams left them little to go by. However, Optimus felt there was some merit in Pharma's observation concerning the Decepticons and their aversion to the asteroid. They knew something and he needed to find out what before he sent anyone else back out there.

The team had tried the upper crust of Megatron's troops, expecting them to have valuable information. He was certain they did, yet they refused cooperation. The only one who didn't wax on about their leader's glory or Autobot scum this, we will tell you nothing that was Blitzwing, who seemed somewhat interested in talking. It was uncertain if he could meet the triple-changer's demands though. He wanted a pardon in some form, anything to get out of the mines really. The labor aside, he didn't seem to care much for the attention he was garnering from some of the guards. He also mentioned their penchant for making prisoners fight with one another with their rations on the line. They were all details Optimus found quite unsettling. Even if he couldn't have the triple-changer relocated, he made a vow to look further into the allegations. Cyclonus had quite a bit to say himself, but a great deal of it was cryptic and eerie sounding nonsense with death being a very prominent part of it all.

He had considered speaking with Megatron  himself, but the Prime decided against it. It was better to let the tyrant languish in solitary where he was, rather than him anything to work against them somehow. It wouldn't be surprising given his wicked intelligence and manipulative nature.

Awaiting word from Alpha Trion on whether Blitzwing's request would be acceptable in any way, they moved on to question the grunts. For the most part, all they had to offer was that there were orders to avoid many of the asteroids that littered the ring of the Fringes, suggesting the one they had set the base on was one of many. Yet the why, that was still a mystery. Their superiors hadn't felt it necessary to tell them more than what was needed : if you value your spark, you won’t touch down on one.

"Well, that was a waste of time, bossbot." Bumblebee huffed as they waited at the entrance to the mines for word from the current Magnus. "And the only ones we can get anything out of are the screwiest ones of the lot."

"Blitzwing can be coherent." Optimus paused, a moment of uncertainty flickering on his faceplate. "When he wants to be."

"Kinda funny he thinks the guards are out for his aft." Bulkhead snorted.

The Prime didn't quite agree. Decepticons like Blitzwing and the Seekers weren't unappealing even by their standards as Autobots. They were just significantly larger. The only thing that made the triple-changer unattractive was that borderline demonic face he showed from time to time. Otherwise, his dominant personality had a comely face, his voice silvery which turned raucous when his fiery side flared up and his frame shapely for a large war-mech. It wasn't a surprise he had some unwanted attention, he was sure the Seekers had their fair share as well. "Whether they are or not, no one deserves that. He's a prisoner, entirely at their mercy and he has rights. Even if we can't get him relocated, I'm going to be looking into the matter."

<Optimus Prime.> The sagely voice of Alpha Trion sounded over the comm-link.

<Yes, sir?>

<In regards to Blitzwing's...request. I will permit a brief respite from the mines for consideration of defection and reform. Should he accept, he will be pardoned and placed under a team's command with limitations. Should he refuse, he will return to working the mines. That is all.>

The elder was brief and his tone clipped as he gave his answer, disconnecting soon after leaving Optimus no room to question or argue. He supposed it was better than what he actually expected, although he had a feeling Blitzwing would not be fond of the idea of defecting. It was hard to blame him. All those who defected from the Decepticon ranks were placed on the list of the Decepticon Justice Division and eventually hunted down for their treasonous turn. With Megatron locked up, he had no idea if that would be the case, but no Con would take the chance. If for whatever reason he wound up under Sentinel's command, that was hardly much better than throwing him into the slag pits. They might as well ship him off and drop him right at Tarn's doorstep for all the good it would do the triple-changer. 'Maybe I can determine who he gets assigned to at the very least...I was planning on getting Bee his own team for the Earth assignment...'

The mid-solar shift was at its end and the graveyard shift were filing their way into the mines as the others filed out. Normally the Cons looked somewhat dejected on their way back to Trypticon, but it seemed their questionings had riled the group up. Lugnut was bellowing accolades for his master as they marched and Strika carried herself proudly. Bringing up the rear was the triple-changer they had their sights set on and his dark visage looked back at them excitedly, as if hoping for some promising news. "We'll take Blitzwing from here for some final questions." Optimus stepped up, stopping him and the guard herding him and the Cons along at the rear. Strika and Lugnut turned.

"Do not tell zhem anyzhing, Blitzwing. Zhat is an order!" Strika snarled menacingly.

Lugnut howled at him as well. "DO NOT TURN ON THE MASTER! HE WILL RISE FROM THE ASHES AND LEAD US TO VICTORY! DEATH TO THE AUTOBOTS! ALL HAIL LORD MEGATON!!"

Blitzwing's visage reddened as he let out an annoyed growl. "Jou shut jour intake for five fragging cycles OR I VILL SMASH JOUR SKID PLATES IN, JOU-!" A fierce giggle split the air. "-One eyed, one track, flying purple proton eater! EHEEHEEHEE!"

Much to the Prime's shock, the three attempted to lunge at each other, the two juggernauts against the berserker. Clearly tensions had escalated within the faction since their incarceration, seemingly to the point even the higher ranks were brimming with dissent. That was somewhat promising. While Optimus and Bulkhead took the Con's arms and Bumblebee pushed on his abdomen as guards wrestled the other two down, they kept the three apart as they directed him to the interrogation cells. Once out of sight of the others and the guards, Blitzwing settled down, grudgingly walking with them in silence. They stepped into the room, the SIC across the metal table from him while Bulkhead and Bumblebee flanked the Decepticon in case he attempted something. Blitzwing folded his hands together, wrists bound in stasis cuffs for added measure, regarding Optimus calmly. "Vell...?"

"Well." Optimus cleared his vocalizer, wary of how the offer would be taken. "Alpha Trion is willing to give you something of a break from the mines for information on the asteroids of the Fringes. But that's pretty much it. It's either you denounce the Decepticons and join us, or you stay where you are. The most I can influence would probably be who you get stuck with and of course, investigating your claims of harassment."

Blitzwing frowned, briefly appearing close to losing his temper for a klik before he seemed to rein it in. His gaze shifted down, eyeing the table with a cold intensity. Optimus had a feeling he was weighing the consequences and the perks, maybe even considering escape under the pretense of joining them. That was certainly a possibility, but of course the question there was always, what would he do then? The Decepticons that mattered were all under lock and key, those that remained were splinter groups scattered across the edges of the universe. "I..." Blitzwing began, his gaze never leaving the table. "I vill have to give zhat some consideration. I know jou understand zhat."

That wasn't very surprising so he nodded. "Okay. I do. I understand. Now the asteroids...?"

"...Zhey have a peculiar substance in zhem zhat vorks like, eh oh, zhe nucleon? Or Nuke? But vorse. Our scientists have vorked vizh it for some time, a long time ago. But it's very volatile. It's like energon but wrong. Zhe tests showed it made jou stronger, faster, more powerful but aggressive too. Zhey usually vent feral und died from zhe exposure to zhe stuff. Und never let it near a carcass. Zhat’s even vorse." Blitzwing explained casually. What he told them sounded exactly like what happened to Huffer, who had attacked Sentinel and Pharma in some frenzied state after being exposed. "Zhey decided it did more harm zhen good for zhe var effort zo ve avoid it. Ve alvays found it funny you Autobots built over zhe stuff like idiots."

"You're the idiot." Bumblebee poked his arm with his stinger.

"No, jou are!" The Con giggled at him.

"Any idea where this stuff came from?" Optimus pressed.

"Cyclonus alvays zaid it came from zhe 'heart of darkness und zhe root of all evil'. Und I vould take vhat he says a little serious if I vas jou. He's seen zhings. Odd zhingz. Ve even vonder vhere he came from at times...As for vhere, he said zhe asteroids came from a great battle in zhe Vok territories zhat hurled the asteroids far und vide. Vhat zhat battle vas, he never really zaid. Only it vas something ancient and terrible." The Decepticon’s face flipped again and he gave him a giddy, fanged smile. "Und zhat's all I know about zhat!"

It was certainly more than they knew before, so Optimus was grateful for the Decepticon's cooperation. What they had learned though troubled him deeply. If it was something that repelled even the Cons when clearly using it against them would be advantageous, then they were going to have to figure out what to do about the base in question and whether they could set about destroying the asteroids harboring the foul stuff. "Let's get you back to your cell then. You'll have the next deca-cycle to consider Alpha Trion's offer."

Blitzwing's jagged maw turned down in a frown, clearly not pleased with the idea. He wasn't sure if the triple-changer had expected much else. They led him from the interrogation rooms back to his cell where to his surprise, Sentinel was waiting for them. "I was wondering where the delinquent prisoner went but they told me you were questioning him?" Sentinel eyed Blitzwing warily.

Although some part of him wanted to be happy to see him, his old friend always led to unpleasant things in one form or another. "What are you doing here?" Optimus frowned.

"Guard duty till they refill my roster. Apparently they're not keen on letting that infernal outpost go, despite the weird scrap that just went down. Relocate it for Primus’s sake at least...And before you ask, Pharma is keeping the old coot on Omega Supreme company." Grabbing Blitzwing's elbow roughly, he practically shoved the Decepticon into his cell, ignoring the vicious growl thrown at him in response. Sentinel smirked condescendingly at him. "So what did ugly here tell you?"

"Better lookin' than you." Bumblebee remarked offhandedly.

"What was that?" Sentinel glowered.

The minibot whistled idly, stepping away and moving towards the cell doors like the Decepticon was more interesting. Optimus sighed. "Apparently the stuff is bad news and we should look into relocating the space bridge."

"Really? Gee, I just told you that even! But then again Oil Slick told me some interesting stuff about it too, some stuff Blitzbutt here probably made sure to conveniently leave out." He glanced at the triple-changer smugly, having done his own idle questioning while they had been talking.

"Like what...?" The SIC frowned.

"That the stuff can raise the dead and everything. Sounds crazy, but Huffer didn't exactly go down easy. Maybe if we used the stuff on Ultra Magnus, he'd perk right up." Sentinel smirked. He was feeling inspired after talking with the scientist. The reports on the injured Magnus were not looking promising and if he found a way to save him, he was sure Ultra Magnus would be so grateful he'd surely regain his old position if not get off Fringe duty. But Optimus was looking too alarmed for his taste.

"Are you crazy? You can't use that stuff on Ultra Magnus! Look what it did to your team! Under no circumstances is that stuff going anywhere near him."

"Ah, because you're now next in line and you don't want him to recover?"

Optimus pinched between his optics. He should have seen that taunt coming. "Unlike you, Sentinel, I'm not that interested in being Magnus. But whatever this stuff is, it's dangerous and nothing good is going to come of it. Even the Decepticons don't want to touch the stuff, that should tell you a lot."

"It tells me they know it best and what happened to the others was when they were alive and well. The science whiz over there claims it's more beneficial for the dead and dying."

"Remember what happened last time you trusted a Con?"

"And you want to trust this one?"

Blitzwing watched the exchange curiously, feeling a little worried at the former Magnus's train of thought. Megatron had tried, millions of stellar cycles ago, to take advantage of the dark stuff when it came to the dead and dying in order to maintain their ranks. It had proven nothing but a scourge. And bombs with the stuff had been banned as well. It ate at and corrupted what it touched, hence why their leader forbade its use directly on Cybertron itself. He always had a feeling if Megatron had grown desperate enough, he would resort to it. Surely the Autobots wouldn't be that stupid.

He turned his crimson optics down to Bumblebee, admiring the minibot for a moment to distract himself from the grim memories. Unlike Optimus and Bulkhead, it looked like the little one had gotten a new paint job. Black was a more prominent color than the yellow now with deeper golden yellow accents. Silver elite guard emblems adorned his arm guards.  It was a good look for him actually.

Looking at his own paint job, Blitzwing grimaced. Several stellar cycles in the mines had robbed the beige of its metallic luster, dulled the purple and muddied the black on his plates. His tank treads were scuffed to the Pit and back, his wings chipped. A hot oil bath, thorough buffering and a repaint sounded downright heavenly. There were odd cracks in his plating, particularly along his legs where long solar cycles of hard labor had put a strain on him. His left ankle struts pained him constantly and there was a swell on the right where he'd been struck by one of the guards in vicious retaliation for biting him with his Random face. It was likely he had to have some joints repaired if not replaced, but that wouldn't happen until they gave out on him completely.

Bumblebee looked up, watching the triple-changer examine himself. He waved a hand at him and as soon as he had his attention...He proceeded to make a series of comical faces at him. Blitzwing made an unintelligible noise of delight before he started to mime them back at the minibot gleefully, forgetting the arguing Primes for the moment.

Weary of his argument with Sentinel, Optimus called on his team to come along. He wanted to get word to Perceptor on what had been shared with them and ensure Ratchet kept a close eye on Ultra Magnus in case his old friend decided to do something ridiculously foolish. "Come on, Bumblebee, you can make faces at Blitzwing later."

"Yeah. Later, Blitzbrain." The minibot waved nonchalantly before stalling momentarily, caught off guard by the forlorn look on the black visage. He shook it off, hurrying to catch up to the others and convincing himself he was seeing things.

~+~

Oil Slick watched as the Primes argued over the little gem he had handed the one who was once Magnus. Of course, said gem had caused its fair share of misery and strife among the Decepticons back in the day, but it was his hope that it would cast a terrible pall over the Autobots in turn.

"...You know not what you set in motion." Cyclonus rumbled ominously.

"Please." The scientist drawled. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

"A sunrise dark shall cast pall upon the empire. Time will rust. He shall stand alone while not alone. Adorned the titan will be in black metal. The stars shall scream. The symbol of the Uncreator shall be clear. And his gaze shall unravel the legacy of Primus. Thus shall the adversary rise. A black star. Unstopped and unstoppable."

"...'a perpetual conflict will culminate upon a world forged from chaos. And the weak shall perish in the shadow of a rising darkness'." Shockwave joined in, reciting another of the prophecies of Primus along with Cyclonus. "Yes, yes, we know, Cyclonus. But those are only terrible tales to scare protoforms. Oil Slick's course is logical...Sow chaos among the Autobots and with any luck, it will give Blitzwing the opportunity he needs to free us."

"How?" Strika pressed against the cell wall to hear them better.

"It is a logical conclusion that they are offering him the chance to join their ranks and 'reform'. But Blitzwing is no fool, he will not risk the wrath of Lord Megatron let alone Tarn by truly joining them."

"You do realize zhis is Blitzwing ve are talking about..."

Shockwave tapped his claws together, watching the triple-changer from his cell. "I am well aware he can act the fool...But, he is not foolish. I dare to venture he would have made a more admirable second over Starscream before the...procedure."

Blitzwing tilted his head from one side to the other. He could tell they were talking about him, the way they leered his way now and then. They were pinning their hopes on him, which was quite the gamble on their part. If an arrogant blowhard like Sentinel Prime could sleaze his way all the way to Magnus, the triple changer was sure he could rise high enough in their ranks to access Trypticon and do just as his fellows hoped. Still, he had to wonder if it would be worthwhile in the end. They had been fighting the good fight for fourteen million years, the same song and dance again and again. There was nothing but consistent losses. Their empire had lost several planets in their limited territory and countless mechs and femmes had perished for the cause.  As a scholar once said, to do the same thing over and over expecting different results was madness.

Hell, without Megatron for those fifty stellar cycles, they had accomplished next to nothing. Besides calling on Lockdown to hunt the Autobots responsible for their lord's demise, Blitzwing himself had been preoccupied with taking care of his charges on New Kaon before he and Lugnut had set out to find the Allspark.

Even with his return, they had come close to seizing the Allspark, only to be handed their most crushing defeat yet. Instead of focusing on Earth, it would have been more lucrative to take Omega Supreme back to Charr, dispose of Starscream, have Strika's team retrieve the protoforms, produce them en masse, and launch a proper invasion of Cybertron while the leadership was crippled. Or at least, given the details imparted to him by Shockwave of their final assault, would have been the way Blitzwing approached the situation. Megatron's vindictive streak had demanded he go after the Autobots and the Sumdacs for the slights he suffered for those fifty stellar cycles. An understandable feeling, but one that had cost them in the end.

Now the prominent figures of the Decepticons were locked away in Trypticon, toiling away in the nearby nucleon mines. They were now no better than the slaves they had once risen from. It was a mercy the gladiatorial arenas were no longer functioning, although the Trypticon pit fights were no better. Blitzwing had no desire to be a slave again, which was why he was seriously considering the offer from the Autobots. It wouldn't be ideal, but damn it, anything was better than this!

He shuffled around in his small cell to settle comfortably on the bench provided. It was woefully cramped, his wings occasionally scraping against said bench or the wall. Blitzwing huffed, dropping his head back against the wall. He offlined his optics as he mulled over the choice looming ahead of him, but the sound of a bot approaching his cell brought him back to the present. He lifted his head, glowering at the person opening his cell.

Bumblebee, looking cocky as ever, was waltzing in like he owned the place. "I forgot these cells were...Well, they're not small for me but your big aft takes up all the space."

Blitzwing giggled. "Come over und I'll show you how big my aft is! I'll sit on jou, Bumblebench!"

"Didn't know you were into sitting on people, but I could tickle your ports if you insist."

"Oh-! Vait..." There was a brief moment of confusion on the black visage before his features lit up with flushed surprise and he descended into a fit of giggles. "I didn't realize zhis vas a conjugal visit, jou naughty little bot!"

Snorting, Bumblebee hoisted himself up on the bench next to the Con. He could tell the other Cons across the way were watching them intently but he tried to pay it no mind. He was here to pester the triple changer. "Just think...You take the offer and you won't have to be stuck in a tiny room like this."

"..." Blitzwing looked down at him. Oh, was that what this was...?

"When ya get out, we could let ya spend a whole day at Sunny's body works shop. She does hot oil baths, deep plate buffering, get you a nice new coat of paint...The beige and purple ain't bad, but blue and white would look pretty sweet on you. Get some awesome high grade at Maccadam's-"

"So vhat, jou here to try und tempt me, little bug?" He huffed with annoyance.

Bumblebee grimaced, as if he were caught with his servo in the energon goodie jar. "Well..."

"I am vell avare of vhat I'm missing, bug. New Kaon does not exactly have much in zhe vay of luxury, nor do ve have zhe time to indulge in it." What there was to be had in New Kaon was simple in nature, they made do with what they could. It was hardly as decadent as how the Autobots lived.

"You indulge in anything ever?"

His plates bristled a little, hearing a touch of accusation in the minibot's tone. But it had been some time since he took much time to himself let alone truly enjoy some of the more sophisticated pleasures in life. The troops had been a handful in Megatron's absence and even when he had been around, the best Blitzwing had to brag about was the oil they consumed on Earth. But despite how the Constructicons praised it, he'd had better and Megatron kept the best samples of it for himself for obvious reasons. It paid to be at the top of the fuel chain after all. "Back home I vould make hot Mudder's Milk und zome chocolate covered vheel-nuts vhich I enjoyed vhile lounging in a hot solvent bath every Glutsol. but zhat vas a long time ago."

"Mmm, on one hand that sounds boring, but then again, sounds pretty swanky too."

"Vhat do you indulge in zhen?"

The minibot grinned, counting off on his digits. "Racing, video games, dancing, music, awesome movies, hanging with my pals, junk food, soooooo much junk food. I really miss Sari, but it'll be fine cause bossbot says they're gonna make a city on Earth and he's thinking I could be stationed there if I want. Then we can hang out all the time!"

"Vhat could possibly be zhe appeal of 'hanging' vizh a tiny organic like zhat?" Although the humans had been curious creatures, he wasn't overly fond of organics in general, especially after the experiments Blackarachnia put him through.  

"Just cause. But she's awesome too!"

"Zhose are not very zatisfying answers."

"Then don't ask dumb questions!"

"Zhere are no dumb questions!"

"Yes there are!"

Blitzwing bared his teeth menacingly at the minibot who hardly took it seriously. With a growl, the Decepticon crossed his arms, frowning at him. "I don't have jour answer und I probably von't anytime soon! Let me enjoy zhis break in peace!"

"For now anyway...I'll be back in a couple solar cycles to bug ya again." As he hopped down to take his leave, Bumblebee winked at him. The triple changer scowled, his faceplate warming a little. "See ya, Blitzbrain!"

On his feet as soon as the cell was closed back up, he watched after the departing bot. His face spun and his mouth spread wide in a jagged grin, clapping his hands energetically. "Oh joy! I can't vait! Maybe next time I'll sit on jou!"

[zelos-official-armrest]

Seoul Limited and Forever with Babyz (Madrid)

I’m about half a year late, but I just want to share a bit of my B.A.P concert experiences both in Seoul Limited and Forever With Babyz tour in Madrid. You know, if anyone’s interested…

First of all, how did I get to Seoul? I applied for a month-long summer university program and I got a smaller tuition fee thanks to my schools being partner universities. Still, it took me about 5 years to get enough funds. I’m not going to talk much about that in here, but it was the most amazing time of my life. I do advise everyone not to ONLY go there for running after a potential Korean boyfriend tho. The culture is so much more than kpop-related fantasies.

Ok, on to the actual topic- B.A.P. While in Seoul, I did want to see the TS building with my own two eyes (so I’d know where to go to throw the tomatoes, haha). Therefore, one evening me and my fellow coursemate/ friend went to look for it, but apparently that day B.A.P and TRCNG had a practice there as it came out. When we approached the building, Zelo was chatting with someone in front of the house, but seeing us coming scared him off and he fleed to the building. I felt so sorry for him, because it must be a common occurrence for them to not get privacy even there by the way he reacted. So, I got nervous because I really wanted to have a picture in front of the building, but I didn’t want to be causing any discomfort to them. Me and my friend decided to take a picture real quick and I kinda got my two half-blurry pictures in front of the building.

Here’s potato me making TS surrender to the Matoki power:

When we stood back a bit, I saw TRCNG entering the house and we decided to leave. While we were walking away, around the corner came Himchan who was, for some reason, followed (basically cornered) by a bunch of blonde chicks (stalkers I guess?). Since I was a bit too close, for some reason I thought it would be really impolite if I didn’t say anything so I bowed and let out „annyeonghaseyo“ (It’s really weird to type it out like that). He answered me with a nod and when he had entered TS, some Korean fans who were following set themselves to wait outside the doors. That was the last we saw them as we moved further away from the place…

Before going to the summer program and buying the plane tickets to Korea, I didn’t know B.A.P would have a concert. When it was announced, I praed for the dates to overlap with my stay. I was incredibly lucky, because B.A.P’s first Seoul Limited concert was on the last day of my stay. The day itself was super-hot (38+ degrees) and I had a lot of troubles from moving out the dorms with all of my luggage etc. In the morning I managed to go to the venue to buy some merch (got myself a matoki whistle and a t-shirt). In the afternoon, there were already fansites distributing free merch (got also 2 banners, but I lost my shiny Zelo banner at the concert T_T). 

The queueing was so different from European stops, where we camp in front of the venes. Here you had a number on a ticket and you just went and looked for your spot in the line and everything went smoothly. I actually had bought two tickets, because I was hoping for someone to go with me (and to get more people to appreciate B.A.P, lol). I did manage to get a friend from the program to come with me, so it was a success. The venue was really well ventilated and the sound system was great. B.A.P had a live band to back them up and they put on a great show as always. Too bad I couldn’t really understand much when they did their talking. In the crowd, there was a couple and B.A.P pointed at them and stated that „This is how you take your girlfriend out. You take her to a B.A.P concert !“, and they continued to chat for a bit. The best things from the concert- Coma rock version, Blind and small snipets from songs fans had selected as the ones they want to hear from B.A.P the most, watergun fight, new solos and tons of adlibs. Even though my ticket queue number was quite big, the stage was so well built that when idols came off from the main stage to those cat-walks, I had maybe only 2 rows of people in front of me making it the closest I’ve been at a concert. 

This is basically how I saw them went they came near:

But there is one thing I found different from previous concerts. I don’t know if it was because I was really nervous about my flights and everything that day, but the crowd in Europe felt more passionate. I guess it is just in the way we cheer. I mean, their fanchants and everything was on point, but somehow it felt more calm and collected that I was used to. Either way, I loved that I could be there with OT6 and that Jongup released his cute MV for Annoying as a memory of that day. Oh, oh, and I finally got on Himchan’s fancam J. Really blurry, but I know it’s me. Thank you Channie!

Moving on to my Madrid experience. At first, I didn’t really plan to go to another tour because I’d already seen them this year, but the fact that there were tickets with best perks I never really managed to get before still available started creeping on me. I had to decide whether to wait for the mess that was Berlin ticket sale or settle for the Madrid one. I decided to save myself from the excess stress and take the Madrid VVIP. I don’t regret going one bit even though the Youngbros organisation was freaking awful. As VVIP holders, we were promised more time at the high-touch than VIP but nothing like that happened. The signed poster was actually just printed on and they had ran out of black beanies before even half the VVIPs could pass the counter.

Just a small look at the merch etc: 

The worst thing was that they messed with B.A.P’s sound system so some time the microphones didn’t really work and the security guys didn’t pay any attention to people fainting in the crowd, which Daehyun and Zelo had to point out to them (Zelo tried to get their attention in Spanish, Daehyun wanted to stop the song to resolve the case) and Jongup threw his own water bottle to fans in need. The concert itself was really good (even though we still missed Bang and were chanting his name from time to time). I loved being able to hear Howler in it’s Spanish home and Zelo went wild with the butt-slaps and butt-wiggles. During Do What I Feel, he threw his towel to the crowd and guess who was the lucky one to catch it!  It still has his makeup on tho :D.

Haha, towel-kun has seen some things... At this point I knew. For 5 years, I didn’t manage to choose a bias in B.A.P. That was the day my bias chose me (lolololol)

The only kind of OK clips that I got from the concert was Youngjae’s acapella “I’m happy” and Jongup’s “Try my luck”, because I was trying to enjoy the concert too much which resulted in my hands being extra shaky. 

There was also a lottery where they chose a random number and a fan for every member got a small canvas bag with member’s drawing and autograph on it. And a hug. At some point, Youngjae managed to hurt his shoulder, I hope he is ok now. Them teaching us the fanchant for All the way up was pretty memorable since they almost booed Daehyun off the stage because he couldn’t contain himself and do the right thing. And Zelo just went like “OMG, it’s our song”. We also had a support project for Himchan where we held his banners and chanted his name.

My high-touch experience. While we were standing in a line, the organisers started to let B.A.P take their positions near the wall. To get there, B.A.P walked through a small bordered area which was right next to where some of us were queueing. I noticed Himchan and told him “annyeong” for which he raised his head, looked at me and just had the cutest smile ever on his face. I made Himchan smile, everyone! I don’t know if he noticed that this is the one person who never manages to greet him correctly (me in Warsaw, Seoul and now Madrid). He was also first in line at high-touch and he was still so extra smiley at me. 

To sum up the high-touch experience, this is basically it:

B.A.P with their beautiful hands vs Me coming from a jungle

And then this 1 second you had to admire all the beauty

I mean, there were so many things I wanted to say (just one sentence to each member), but I couldn’t do anything because it was too fast. I tried to tell them stuff in English or Korean, but they tried to tell me stuff in Spanish and in English and it was honestly such a mess. It was so funny. Then right after we had the group photo so I fastened my steps and got next to Zelo. After everything I just had to go to him. I could tell he did something over my head while taking the picture since he was touching it, but I had no actual idea what. The picture turned out better than I expected. I am not really good friends with cameras, specially when I don’t even know, where the cameraman is or when the picture is exactly taken. Got the cutest photo ever and I will now officially present my short ass as “Zelo’s armrest” since this is what he used me as.

Tbh, I had to photoshop my face on the picture a bit, because the camera reflected on me so bad that I looked like a Christmas tree in a Colgate commercial. Literally.

Anyways, after the short time for pictures, I could pass by all of them again and thanked them, especially Zelo, when I turned around. I love them all so much and I had soft hours for days after we got to know that Zelo shouldn’t have even been on the tour but he insisted to come. Made it all 10 times more memorable and important.

I wish I could also go to Yongguk’s tour. I don’t know if it’s possible, because I have already emptied my bank account for them. So I guess we’ll see what happens. I hope he receives a lot of love and support anyways.

That’s it, folks!

[silentauroriamthereal]

So. I met Benedict Cumberbatch the other night. 

I’m still processing, honestly, and the big thing that I need to write is another letter to him, one which I assume going in that he will never read (I can’t even imagine the volume of fanmail he must receive!), but I’ll still write it because I need to say it, even if it’s never read. In this post I want to talk about some of the stuff I want to say there, so I’m just kind of working through my thoughts here. 

This is going to be long, and a little emotional, so I’m putting it behind a cut to spare your dashes (among other things!). 

I have a few different things to say about the entire thing. First, let me just go through the evening as it unfolded: 

I managed to buy a ticket to the New York debut of Letters Live. I’ve adored the concept of this event since the first time they held it and when I found out they were doing one in New York right during the tiny window of when I was going to be there, I jumped at the opportunity, though the tickets were uncomfortably expensive for me. There is literally no other living person that I would have been more excited to see perform and potentially have a tiny chance to meet, though, and the timing seemed almost foreordained, so I did it. 

The event was phenomenal. A gigantic wall of a human was seated in front of me - an unpleasant man who was approximately 10 metres tall and 5 metres wide, and I’m 5′4, so... yeah. I waited until after the first act and managed to slip into a much better seat, hahaha! The performance was so well-planned, I thought. The selection of letters was specially curated for an American audience, with most of the content written by Americans. To hear Rose McGowan read her own letter to the Hollywood higher-ups was chillingly powerful, as was hearing Toni Morrison’s letter to Barack Obama. There were several letters funny enough to make me cry with laughter, and to my pleased surprise one of these was read by another well-loved actor of mine, Tom Hollander (who I keep feeling so sorry for these days - people must confuse him with Tom Holland all the time, and they’re not remotely similar, lol). Benedict’s first letter was an absolutely hilarious one that just went around facebook about a month ago, written by a Canadian man apologizing for having absolutely trashed, via a flock of seagulls, his hotel room in Victoria eighteen years ago. He also read one of the Chris Barker/Bessie Moore exchanges with Loo Brealey, and finished the evening with Stewart Stern’s incredibly stirring and moving letter to the family of James Dean following his death. 

Listen: seeing Benedict perform live, with my own two naked eyes, breathing the same air as him - it may sound ridiculous, but that alone was profoundly moving to me. Just seeing him, period. Then seeing him perform - breathtaking. And then hearing him read this particular letter was just - it’s hard to even put it into words. I felt a little as though I was hearing him read what could be his own epitaph. Listen to these words: 

A star goes wild in the places beyond air — a dark star born of coldness and invisible. It hits the upper edges of our atmosphere and look! It is seen! It flames and arcs and dazzles. It goes out in ash and memory. But its after-image remains in our eyes to be looked at again and again. For it was rare. And it was beautiful. And we thank God and nature for sending it in front of our eyes. So few things blaze. So little is beautiful. Our world doesn't seem equipped to contain its brilliance too long. Ecstasy is only recognizable when one has experienced pain. Beauty only exists when set against ugliness. Peace is not appreciated without war ahead of it. How we wish that life could support only the good. But it vanishes when its opposite no longer exists as a setting. It is a white marble on unmelting snow. And Jimmy stands clear and unique in a world where much is synthetic and dishonest and drab. He came and rearranged our molecules.

I mean, this is exactly how I already feel about the nature of Ben’s talent, the privilege I feel at being allowed to experience it in any way, in any medium. He has a talent that lights up the cosmos and I’m just so grateful to the universe that this talent exists and has been given a place to be seen and witnessed by the rest of us. His talent blazes, and my life is the richer for being able to experience it. 

I tried really, really, really hard not to hope too much to have a chance to meet him at the stage door after. It’s kind of impossible not to hope, but I told myself sternly that I already never thought I would have the chance to see him perform in person, and it really would have been enough. I’d joked to my friends before leaving for New York that if he so much as laid his own two beautiful eyes on me and actually saw me, heard my voice, any of that, that I could die in peace. I’ve never expected that, though, to have any sort of fleeting brush of contact like that. It’s not the nature of the way a person like him relates to a person like me. In fact, allow me a tangential paragraph here: 

Being a fan can feel one-sided. I know everything that a person can possibly know about a person whom I have never met. I can guarantee that I have seen, read, or listened to every interview he’s done, ever, with very, very few exceptions. ALL of the press junkets. I could have written his imdb page. Like many of us! I know every line on his beautiful face. I know the freckles on his skin, the tendons of his forearms and calves. I know every part of his physicality that’s ever been shown to the public, and with him, that’s a fair bit! His voice is my ringtone (it’s a clip of Sherlock saying “it’s a text alert; it means I’ve got a text”) and his voice is more dearly familiar to me than most of the people I know personally. I know his facial expressions, though he’s constantly reinventing the way the muscles of his face can move for every new role he plays. I’ve analyzed his accents from a phonetics standpoint. In short, I know everything that’s possible for someone like me to know about someone like him. And he knows nothing about me - not my name, not what I do, not what I eat, not my voice or my talents or my eyes or fingernails or passions or pet peeves - not of my existence, full stop. But that doesn’t mean that our relationship - and bear with me on that word - is one-sided. This is how it works: he gives. He gives and gives and gives. Benedict doesn’t phone it in. He BLAZES. He burned through so much energy playing Hamlet (any wonder, have you seen him in it???) in the summer of 2016 that one of the reasons Dr. Strange had to push back its filming schedule was to give him the chance to bulk up again after the play’s run. Benedict commits, and like the aforementioned star analogy, he radiates energy to every possible point of contact around him. THIS is his side of the relationship: he blazes out his talent/energy/love/passion/commitment, and we receive it, and the appreciation and love and passion we feel in return for it is something that we share with each other, not with him. That’s how fandom works: it’s not a direct thing. Not in the standard, interpersonal way. He shines; we turn to each other rather than to him, to talk about how it made us feel, how it moved us, how it excited us and made us laugh and inspired us. Somehow, this entire experience crystallized this for me perfectly. 

Now, back to the stage door: there was an absolute CRUSH of people at the barricades. I don’t want to talk about this part too much because it was extremely unpleasant. We had to wait for a long time. I would have stayed until he left the building, no matter how long it took, unless it would have made me look like a total creep, because that’s not something I ever want to do to someone I admire. He did come out eventually, and that’s when the pushing and screaming started. I once said that I would never scream at a celebrity, and I didn’t. The crowd, unfortunately, was a mix of three groups of people: 1. aggressive paparazzi 2. aggressive fanboys who had brought comic book shit for Ben to sign so that they could sell it on ebay 3. genuine fans. Guess which group was not at all problematic?? Turns out I was standing right in a knot of #2′s, and because they were hollering at him, like screaming at him to get over there and sign their shit, Ben went over to the other side of the barricade to sign stuff there. He told off one of the paps and said he was there to be with the “real people”, which I appreciated. He did come back near us, and I had the briefest of moments to talk to him. I thanked him for not having become a lawyer, and he laughed. Everyone was thrusting stuff in his face and yelling. I just had my little ticket from the show, and the comic book manchildren kept putting their stuff on top of mine. Ben finally said he was going back inside, that his wife was there waiting for him, but he turned back toward me and I managed to ask (possibly plead) if he would sign my ticket. He looked me in the eye then, smiled, and said, “Of course”. 

I stammered out a congratulations on Patrick Melrose and he smiled again and said thank you, while he was signing. But that one moment of eye contact is all I wanted. He looked at me, and he saw me. And I made him laugh. 

I was literally almost suffocated by the awful people around me, none of which were: a) female, or b) actual fans. I’ve thought sometimes, while watching videos of Benedict on the red carpet, with all of those media folk screaming at him to turn this way, smile into their camera, all of that, that it feels very much like harassment. I know that people in his position know that it comes with the job, that the fame and riches are supposed to be the offset of having no privacy, of being followed by media and fans alike, quite literally, of being shrieked and barked at like they’re trained performing animals (which I don’t like, either!). I know he knows that, but it doesn’t mean that it’s pleasant in any way. He handles it like a pro, because he is in every way a consummate professional. But it can’t be pleasant for him. He’s incredibly, extraordinarily generous with his time. As a performer myself, I know how I feel when I’ve just finished a solo concert or an opera - I feel like taking off my heels and fancy dress, putting on pyjama pants and relaxing every muscle I have on a couch somewhere, preferably with a tall drink in hand. Performing Hamlet is considered one of the most demanding male roles in the English theatrical repertoire, yet Benedict would not only perform it a stunning eight times per week, but then sometimes spend up to THREE HOURS signing autographs and taking selfies after. If he chooses to limit how long he gets screamed at by aggressive, even violent paps and shitheads who just want to use his signature for money, good for him! I respect that, even if I felt incredibly sorry for the people further back who didn’t get to have that, one brief moment of contact with this person we all admire so very, very deeply. And so, because of this, because of seeing firsthand how gross people are to him and just the sheer volume of what he puts up with for our sake, so that some of us, at least, can have that tiny moment, I don’t think I would do it again, if only to reduce that volume by one teeny tiny amount. I got my one, deeply, deeply hoped-for, fleeting, searing moment of contact. It’s all that I could have asked for. He saw me, and I had the chance to say some tiny part of my gratitude to him for what he gives of himself to all of us. That’s all I wanted. 

The wait, the near-suffocation, all of that, was worth it, to win that one precious moment. I clutched my precious ticket and fought my way out of the crowd and wandered dazedly off toward the subway, through late Friday night Times Square crowds, feeling so much that I didn’t even know how to process it. I felt like I was about to burst into tears and I couldn’t have even said why or whether I was happy or sad or possibly a cornucopia of every human emotion ever. I felt - and still feel - a bit like I just had a brush with an actual, blazing sun. It was shattering, and I will be forever changed by it. I am so grateful. 

[replicarters]

ooohhh tonight’s murphy thoughts are gonna be good because this was the one i attended, so i can spill some cut content!!! hell yeah!!! i’m actually really torn up about one of them because i loved it so much

okay first thing’s first the magic of editing is amazing. editors really out here doing the lord’s work making things pop. some things i actually thought were funnier live, like phyllis’s line about the ketchup marrying “not being as fun as it sounds”. i was dying, but this time i was just kind of like, “oh ok lol”. maybe that’s because we had to watch that about 4 times? just didn’t have the same punch this time around.

the whole thing with s-h-s is just so creepy and bizarre lol, i mean, this bitch out here right now lying her fool ass off and propping up this repugnant admin but hang on guys, let’s hear all about miles’s SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT HER???? aaaaahhhhh!!!! first of all miles you need help. second of all ugh don’t even give this propaganda overlord the benefit! this is the kind of situation i feel they need to be WAY more careful of and the kind that makes me fear a little bit of bubble-living going on among the staff. this craven demon is doing the worst RIGHT NOW. how much can you joke about it before it leaves a bad taste?

the scene between murphy and avery at home was everything, man. and poses a valid question. what is the right course of action for reporters right now? well they couldn’t have foreseen jim acosta calling s-h-s a liar to her face mere days ago, so has the question already been answered? one wonders. this is the territory i wish they would stay in as opposed to miles jacking it to his bad place femdom daydreams.

and now what i know you came for, the DELETED SCENES:

corky had lines cut in the beginning, she was lamenting... something, i think reacclimating to a morning schedule again. what made it stick out to me was it was very reminiscent of when she lamented early on in the show those times when you can’t remember if you locked the door before you left, so you go back, then you can’t remember if you locked it when you went back, so you go back... faith was gr8 and nailed it each and every time.

the stage manager had a line threatening death for... coffee pot misuse? i think? probably should have written this stuff down but i figured cuts were all probably made already. surprise! on the one hand it wasn’t a very funny line and we struggled every single time to force laughter for it but on the other hand let the man have a line! bring us a new john even if he’s a little vindictive and high-strung! he was the only black guy with a line too so give us all these fancy people of color you were talkin up hmm hmm hmm!

the scene with the secretary seemed shorter and didn’t really do that actress justice in the end. there was a little more of a moment devoted to when she was about to barf where murphy pushes the hell back from the table and it felt like they blew by that.

the scene between phyllis and the daca kid had a line that we actually saw cut right in front of us which is a shame because i think it told us a lot about phyllis as a character: exasperated, a little spanish slips out and the daca kid was surprised and delighted, she revealed she did know quite a bit from some time spent in........ mmm puerto rico? maybe? then she made him call her la reina and said it had a great ring to it.

at the very end when avery is playing the “i’m sorry” ringtone, murphy says, “you are such a brat.” he responds, “yeah, but i’m your brat.” i am GUTTED that this was cut. i remember that moment so clearly, i was ecstatic over it, and that was when i thought to myself, “yes, this is gonna rule, they still GET it.” what a horrible thing to have to cut for i’m assuming time. surely we could have tossed something else. there was a lot going on in this one, though. but STILL. out of everything, that’s what they tossed? i don’t know how i feel about that. but we had to have room for miles’s weird erections, you see.

diane english was wearing a new york times shirt about truth. it had a lot of words on it and we didn’t get a good look at most of them, but what we could catch we were big fans of. media and journalism is essential to a free society, you know, just some run of the mill stuff like that.

while setting up the last scene at murphy’s townhouse, it took a bit to get everything ready over there, so faith and joe wandered over and thanked us, the audience, so much for coming, shot the shit, revealed embarrassing wedding dance songs. it was very nice! felt like being welcomed into somebody’s home. my new friends, faith ford and joe regalbuto.

this was also not long after aretha franklin’s passing, and they were still feeling it. they played the clip (remastered!!) of murphy and aretha, and faith was sobbing the whole time. (she said afterwards she’d just been “verklempt” since they started production.) candice shook her head at herself like, “lord. me.”

for those of you still keeping track of this sort of thing, during the filming of the scene at phil’s, candice made a quick face at grant and got them both going. STILL AT IT.

i hope if you were able to go to a taping of an episode, you share your secrets with the crowd! how much more cut content am i missing from my life?!

[sobbingdistantnoises]

3, 14, 15, 19 and 32!

Aaaa, I'm so sorry, I finished this later than I hoped to, djakak. Thank you for sending these in though! I really enjoyed answering them :D

3. Anything in Metallica's history that stands out to you?

I'd say that's probably the circumstances surrounding and the making of St. Anger, especially since I don't think I know any other bands that brought in a therapist and got over a rough period the same way Metallica did and then had a movie made about it, especially with how they just told those making the movie to do it as they pleased (assuming memory serves right). The songs on St. Anger just feel really raw, and I'm assuming the movie is similar in that regard (although I haven't watched it yet despite having had that on my list of things to do for a while, so I can't say for sure), and I really respect that they've shared such a troublesome time for them with the fans

14. Favorite Metallica meme/repeated funny phrase throughout the fandom?

Searching (for an answer to this question)...seek and aaAAAAAA! I don't any proper reasoning for this one being my favorite, but the idea of Jason just screaming instead of saying the actual words is just funny to me, lol

15. What song do you DESPERATELY want to hear live?

This is probably a bit of a cliche answer, but I'd probably say Seek and Destroy! I've seen so many clips where the audience just ends up singing so loudly that James doesn't even have to, and I love the crowd's energy so much when that ends up happening. I'd love to be a part of that crowd if I ever get to go to one of their concerts :))

19. Favorite guitar solo?

I wouldn't say I have an absolute favorite since it changes a lot depending on what solos I've been paying attention to recently, but the first one that came to mind this time is the solo at the very beginning of No Remorse! It's a pretty high energy start to the song, which I really like, and it makes the lower notes after the solo sound more isolated, complimenting it. The solo, especially the first parts, also sound a bit like screaming or wailing of some sort to me, and I find that to be a pretty cool effect

32. Favorite live performance?

Okay okay, I ended up writing up a bit of a ramble for this one because I was typing it while I was out of cell service earlier, dsjlkfsl. I made a couple notes from future me in parenthesis to clarify things, which is abbreviated as nffm, so hopefully they help

I'd say that probably goes to their performance in Antarctica! I watched it a while ago (maybe last year or so?? It doesn't feel like it was that long ago, but I guess it probably was) (nffm: it was June 6, 2021, almost exactly a year ago) ago, so I don't remember every detail, but I do remember that it helped cheer me up a LOT by the end when I watched it :))

I remember they played my favorite song at the time, Blackened, and I still have that song as one of my definite favorites even though I struggle to choose a definite one now, so that's really cool that it was one of the few songs to be played in Antarctica! I feel like they also might have done either King Nothing or Moth into Flame (nffm: nope, but they did play both For Whom the Bell Tolls and Sad But True which I also liked a lot), plus probably Seek and Destroy (nffm: yes), although I can't really check right now since I don't have cell service, hdkakjs. Those were and still are favorites of mine as well

Besides that, I remember finding their set up and how everyone was wearing headphones to listen to the concert so that the sound doesn't mess with the environment really interesting, and the comments were great to read as well. I think there was a person that took their whole discography and made it snow themed, so that was entertaining to see when I was done, dsjlsdk. I'll probably correct the things I wasn't sure about + add some more commentary once I have proper cell service and can actually use the video for reference too! (nffm: yep, did a bit of that! :) )

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Austin episode 1 reaction

I wasn’t planning on writing long-winded reactions to Skam Austin, I thought I might just have fun with the clips as they happened. Because there’s such a different context with this remake as opposed to the French/German/Italian ones, that it’s hard to take in! Julie Andem’s direct involvement, the Facebook factor, that it’s American rather than European. I’m processing this one very differently. I’m not even sure how to gather all my thoughts about it.

But then a few things got my attention so here’s episode 1 a week late. I don’t think I say anything that hasn’t already been said, lmao, unless you want to hear about my high school English unit on The Scarlet Letter.

Clip 1 - Frozen is #relatable

Let’s point out all the signs we see during Poonam’s opening monologue:

“Be a winner, be you”

“Work hard, finish strong”

“Always victorious”

“Shoot for the moon”

a board full of college acceptances

IDK guys, I think there might be a theme about the pressure to succeed here.

Poonam’s monologue and the overall themes about pressure and success may seem generic or #relatable depending on your POV. For me, I found it worked, mostly because it’s funny in how mundane and teenage-y it is and the bit about Elsa from Frozen is so weirdly specific, and I knew a million kids like Poonam in high school. But I do get how Julie could have done something more topical considering the world of shit that is going on in the US politically and culturally, including in our schools. (I don’t know exactly how much of the show was filmed before or after the Parkland shooting and I don’t know if/when/how it will be mentioned, but I certainly hope they address it. That’s the kind of issue that Skam is made to cover: things that are directly relevant to the youth of the culture.)

Poonam is talking super loud and were she not serving up our thesis statement, the teacher would tell her to shut up.

I tried to listen to what more of what the teacher actually says, and it’s hard to make out, but of course she concludes with “draw a connection to something happening in present day” … hmmmm….

I was really confused because the test Megan looks at in class appears to be a state-mandated standardized test, not a regular exam you’d take in class. You can clearly see on her paper that it says 68th percentile, which means she scored as well as or better than 68% of students tested. But Marlon seems to be grabbing a similar-looking paper and he says he got a 99, like … is he in the 99th percentile? And Shay’s in the 100th percentile somehow (which cannot be a thing because you can’t go higher than the 99th, lol)? Is there an actual score out of 100 on these tests? Are they talking about a different test?

I’m not from Texas so I don’t know the format of this specific test, but I took a similar standardized test for my state and this is not how I remember it. Also we didn’t go around sharing our scores on those tests the way we would a regular math test or even the SATs or something. And no one studied for those things. 

Meg swaps the numbers around (68 to 86) and he says, “That’s not bad” in a somewhat patronizing way so you know she feels great about it.

The music for the Kittens’ slow-motion walk is very apropos lyrically.

I like Shay, she’s charming. There’s a lot of American “bro” talk and shit like that in the dialogue and it gets cringeworthy, but I think she and Tyler seem pretty natural and I buy them as friends.

Clip 2 - Survival kit

As people have pointed out, The Scarlet Letter is incredibly thematically relevant to Meg’s past. In fact it’s so on the nose that I’d almost say it’s overkill, however that book is so widely taught in American classrooms that yeah, I buy it, it works for me. At least they’re keeping it fairly subtle so far - we notice it because we know the S1 story, a new viewer wouldn’t necessarily realize the connection. And I have seen so many versions of the classroom scene where the inspirational teacher openly talks about the themes of the novel/impact of the historical event/educational topic that just so happens to coincide with whatever’s going on in the protagonist’s life, that yes, this is actually relatively subtle.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: In high school I had one of those stereotypically artsy English teachers and every year she had her students do a mock trial based on The Scarlet Letter, where the goal was to determine which of the main characters was the least guilty. It was a huuuuge project and worth a ton of our grade, and the year we did it, there was tons of drama and crying and name-calling outside of the classroom due to everyone taking this trial 200% too seriously. I drew the team representing Dimmesdale (the minister who fathers a child with Hester Prynne) and miraculously everyone else on the team was smart but chill; we were the only team that didn’t blow up into drama, and we won the trial. I had a great time doing the project, but as time went by I started to think about the point of the trial and whether it was a good assignment, and how our biases crept into the result. Because I remember when kids drew the Hester team, they groaned, because they knew they wouldn’t win. One of the male characters was going to win. Chillingworth might win even though he’s an evil piece of shit and some readers think he straight-up poisoned a dude, but he wasn’t Hester. Hester was definitely guilty because she had sex outside of marriage and had a baby. And if we want to tie this back to Skam, it gets me thinking about how Eva/Meg is the one who loses everything and Jonas/Marlon’s life seems to be more or less intact. The girls lose their friends and in Meg’s case, her hobby/passion, while the boys are OK. Then the same thing happens later with Eva where P-Chris is just a fuckboy but Eva is a slut. Because the girls are the guilty ones. 

Megan’s homework mentions the “life-changing event happens to Hester when she is in the forest away from her community. What do you think this says about the role of community in the outcome of her life?” hMMMMMM. The next question is also about the story centering around a “strong female character.”

Shay talking to Meg while stretched out on her back sure is quite flirty.

Meg’s parents are arguing and contributing to making her feel like a loser, building up some of that pressure (theeeeeme). She has a survival kit which implies that this is a regular thing and she feels the need to escape a lot. 

I do think Julie is getting in some nice shots of the city and making these teens look all picturesque.

Clip 3 - Sad sad eating alone time

I wish Poonam had a Frozen lunchbox.

I'm wondering what Meg’s and Poonam’s relationship is supposed to be. Are they old friends? Are their parents friends? Are they acquaintances who share a class? Does Poonam just want a sounding board to vent about her busy life? I knew people like that in high school. 

Poonam is self-centered in a rather teenage way, not just in talking about herself and being insensitive, talking about how quitting extra-curriculars makes you a loser, assuming Megan doesn’t care, etc. but also how she ditches Megan to go sit with her choir friends instead of like … inviting Meg to sit with her and the choir kids.

There's the THEME!!! of community again as Poonam encourages Meg to be more social, because people who engage in community have happier, healthier, more successful lives. The clip starts with both Meg and Abby alone, but ends with Meg alone and Abby not, because Abby is part of a community and Meg is not.

Also Meg has to be super checked out not to notice the giant Talent Night posters everywhere, including right next to her. It’s too bad they probably won’t go into this but I feel like she’s depressed on a level that Eva wasn’t, which is likely due to losing not just her friends but also purpose of being on the dance team.

“Talent night is the one night of the year where the entire school comes together to celebrate the foundation of our social hierarchy - sports.” Lol, no it’s not. I guarantee you it’s not, no matter what your school is, but especially not this school where sports appear to be a big deal. Try Homecoming.

Marlon is the worst. The woooorst. It really feels as if he, Shay, and Tyler are a group that Meg is just not in, in a way that I didn’t feel with Eva. Because while Eva was often excluded and was the third wheel to Jonas and Isak, Isak was also in some situations the third wheel to her and Jonas. Megan feels like she’s completely on the outskirts of this group. She’s friendly with Shay but I wouldn’t say that they’re friends, while Eva and Isak had some history and were decently close on their own. Some of the other remakes emphasize this too - in particular Italian Eva and Isak (Martino) feel like great friends in their own right. Plus if Marlon does opt to hang with Megan over his friends, Shay and Tyler still have each other.

But for fuck’s sake, Marlon, why didn’t you ask your girlfriend to get some damn food with you? Unless you didn’t really go for food...

Clip 4 - Conservative

How many times has Meg had to listen to Marlon’s music? Yet when she asks him to go do something with her, he doesn’t want to do it. Dump him.

In terms of Marlon’s comments about sports culture … OK, on the one hand I would say there are bigger issues in sports culture, particularly in high school - for example, how sports gets more funding than any other high school program, just to name one issue. His thing about sports culture being about winners working hard, losers are lazy, is maybe not the most relevant, it’s kind of trite. However, I can see a so-called “woke” teen saying something like that, much like I can see a teenager rhapsodizing about Elsa from Frozen. And I get it, it fits in thematically.

Megan used to be on a sports team (and dance teams often do all kinds of competitions so I’d consider it a sport) and clearly misses it so maybe he should chill. And don’t ask your girlfriend to go with someone else when you know she doesn’t have any friends.

Dump him.

Clip 5 - Talent Night

Besides the dance memorabilia, in her room Meg has a poster for a costume party around Halloween, which is possibly when she hooked up with Jo.

Marlon is the worst!!! Worse than other Jonases!!! At least they canceled ahead of time, Marlon just bails last second to go do something fun he likes. Rude and inconsiderate! He doesn’t even invite her along to the concert (and gives an excuse in the next episode, but dude, if you’re going to CANCEL YOUR ESTABLISHED PLANS AT THE LAST SECOND you should at least ASK).

Plus she really needs an escape from her house at that moment due to her parents’ fighting. Great job, dude. 

The B-roll is nice. Again, good shots of the city.

Discussion was happening on @softnorwegians’ Tumblr about the plausibility of Talent Night in terms of location, setup, importance, etc. and I agree with a lot of the criticisms. I absolutely do not buy an official school-sponsored event taking place at what looks like a bar with no chaperones or adults around. Talent Night would probably be held at the school, in the auditorium or gymnasium. Maybe a community center. Maaaybe at a local coffee shop or restaurant, something like that, but that’s pushing it IMO - there would be so many people there that you need a large venue. This doesn’t seem like a small school. My high school did talent shows and there were always tons of adults present, teachers, parents filming their kids.

Also, Talent Night is typically not to fund sports teams! Talent Night is something put on by student government maybe, or if any school group is going to fundraise from it, it would definitely be the arts programs. Or it would be to raise money for charity. Sports teams already have a bunch of fundraisers, also a lot of them are for the individual teams, like swim team will have one, football will have one, etc. I guess it’s not impossible, but it feels a bit contrived. But there are probably some schools that do Talent Night for the sports teams, IDK. (Also, if it’s for the sports teams ... it seems weird to me that the athletes like Jordan don’t seem involved, either on stage or working at the venue? All fundraising I did for the school clubs/activities I was in, I had to do some actual work for the event - sell tickets, serve food, clean up, etc. Lol, here it seems like the sports teams are just hanging out and reaping the profits while random kids earn some money for them.)

Some of the graffiti in the bathroom: 

Sk8ers gonna Sk8 (I’m blanking on where this came from originally, I think it was on an IG post or text?)

Alt er love

Daniel + Grace

That last one, believe it or not, is what made me interested in reacting to this show. Because Grace is our Noora, there are hints of our William being called Daniel … and yet, what’s the context of that graffiti? It makes no sense when you think about it. New girl Grace surely doesn’t know Daniel. Is that supposed to be a hint to future Noorhelm, or is it a shoutout to something that won’t happen - like is Julie teasing us?

I mean, Grace and Daniel are very very common names, but the choice of graffiti was deliberate as we can tell from the other Skam references.

Lol @ me thinking Julie won’t do Noorhelm again but let me have this for now.

The Facebook/fandom reaction to Grace is an example of one of the worst parts of doing a close remake. If this were a completely new show and no one knew the plot, the reaction would have been, “Oh yay, Megan met someone nice :) Maybe they can be friends :) ”

But because she is supposed to be The Noora, a bunch of people had expectations for how she was supposed to act and (especially) look, and when she didn’t fit their expectations, complained. First of all, Grace was quite pretty to me so I didn’t even understand the backlash on a superficial level. Second, get the actual fuck out if you think any of these girls aren’t attractive enough to be a part of the squad. This show has never been about depicting the hottest, most physically perfect people. In fact that’s a reason people like Skam, that there are a variety of body types, their teeth, skin, and hair aren’t perfect. 

Pointless personal anecdote #2: “Let’s give it up for Natalie on nunchucks” is how I want everyone to greet me when I walk into a room, I’m going to have to start practicing.

Jo is great! So good. “I want to see your dumbass routine.” “Ballet shit?!” That whole bit was awesome. What a true friend.

This was so awkward. Painfully awkward.

General Comments:

The IGs are nice work, I’m sure FB pulled some strings to get the pictures backdated. There are some good clues in them - Meg appearing in the old Kittens pics and the Mannequin challenge, Abby has pictures set in Megan’s bedroom where she has clearly cropped out Megan. Abby and Marlon have pictures of a beach from the same day.

Poonam’s super paranoid text about posting things on IG made me laugh a lot. 

I didn’t talk about the acting. It’s ... not great in a lot of places, and sometimes it takes me out of the scene (especially in the Talent Night clip) but it’s not something I want to focus on a whole lot. The cast appears to be teenagers, many of whom have no acting experience, and I’m not totally comfortable being negative about them (NOT saying that no one can criticize their acting, just that for me personally I feel bad doing it). Besides, the fact of it being a direct remake is the more pressing problem for me. As for positives about the acting, I think Shay and Jo are great and have some natural comedic timing.

I am not rooting for Meg/Marlon at all. At all. No version of Eva/Jonas has induced this much annoyance in me. There’s a lack of chemistry, Marlon is more inconsiderate than the other Jonases, and they don’t seem to have much in common.

Unpopular (?) opinion but I have no problem with naming the Jonas character Marlon, or calling him marlonf9000 on IG. It’s an affectionate homage, sure. I guess my only problem with it is that Marlon the character sucks so far and Marlon the actor deserves better.

Man, I don’t even know what to feel about this show at this point. It feels so surreal. I don’t hate it? I’m not angry at it? I’m disappointed that we have to get yet another S1 more than anything. I actually want this show to succeed, believe it or not - even if I don’t care for it personally, I would rather have a lot of other people love it than not. 

I also feel stupid for making any type of speculation on what could happen! Because we’re going to come up with these elaborate theories about how Julie could adapt the story and take it in a different direction, and it’s likely to be all for nothing and we’ll just watch an awkward redo of a scene we’ve already seen.

I do want to say good job for increasing the cast diversity. That was a main fear, that Skam Austin would be lily-white, and we’ve already got 5 prominent WOC in the cast (including Zoya) which is terrific. 

I don’t take the millions of views on the first clip/first episode super seriously since FB was promoting it pretty hard and I heard something about a three-second rule? I’m more interested in seeing how the viewership on the episodes/clips manifests week by week.

It’s also clear that a lot of viewers were confused by the format and don’t get the concept of real-time clips vs. the compiled weekly episodes, which I can hardly blame them for since it’s not typical. 

[bangtangurlarmy]

BOO! || Hoseok

Request - Anonymous said: Hi love! Could you write a scenerio, Hoseok dating reader, when they go to the Halloween costume party with the rest of BTS? I can imagine Suga screaming stuff like "OMG THEY ARE RELATIONSHIP GOALS" XD      

Pairing - Jung Hoseok x Reader

Genre - Fluff, Halloween! AU

Summary - When you complained about not wanting to wear that cute but annoying bunny outfit you’d gotten years ago, Hoseok gave you another idea which sounded appealing. Why, Yoongi couldn’t stop screaming.

Gonna put a Keep Reading link because I got too into it LOL.

You were absolutely not going to wear that grey bunny suit. No way. Uh uh. Jungkook wore that last year, and now you were absolutely regretting lending it to him because you did not know what that boy did to your costume. Besides, your cheeks got too squishy every time you wore the head gear, so you hoped it was for the best...?

You groaned loudly as you eyed the dreadful costume on your bed with a scornful look. How could you have not thought about buying a new costume? Shops were lined with absolutely cool looking ones and you totally must have missed all the good ones by now. You stomped your feet like a whiny kid and groaned again.

“Hey, babe, you good? You’ve been groaning like that for the past hour.” A chirpy voice cooed from behind you. Turning around, you saw a bright orange hooded head pop from behind the door, a fully covered bright orange clothed arm hanging loosely over the knob. You hunched instantly, and your lips curved into the biggest pout you could muster.

“Hobiiiiiiii, I don’t have a costume to wear to the party!” You whined, your feet dragging as you walked sulkily towards your dressed up boyfriend. You still couldn’t even get a glimpse of his costume.

His eyes darted to the bulky, bunny costume on the bed and his brows rose in contemplation, “Well then tell me that’s not a dead rabbit lying on the bed.”

Your feet halted and you snorted loudly. “Ha ha, funny, Hope. I really don’t have a costume! Help me!”

Hoseok scowled playfully. “Baby, what is that on the bed?”

Your shoulders drooped lower and you glanced at the bed before you replied, “A bunny costume.”

“A what - I didn’t hear you.”

“A bunny costume.”

“What?”

“COSTUME! A BUNNY COSTUME, HOBI!” You yelled exasperatedly, aware of him teasing you. But he simply shrugged. “So, you do know it’s a costume right?”

“Oh my god- Hobi, Jungkook wore that last year and I have no idea what the kid did with my costume, I think he rolled in mud or something and it stinks- please help me.” You said everything so quickly, you had to take a deep breath before you groaned again, your mouth hanging slack. You didn’t even care if this was being childish on an extreme level. You just wanted to have a good costume for the party you had to attend. Was that too much to ask for?!

“Oh, hush, Y/N. Come with me and stop being such a baby.” He grumbled, his covered hand beckoning you over before he left the door and waited for you to follow.

You followed him eagerly and because you couldn’t resist, you whispered, “I’m your baby, though.”

Hoseok snorted, indicating he’d heard you loud and clear.

You were about to open your mouth to speak again when you stopped dead in your tracks the moment you noticed the orange tail swinging as he walked to another room, the onesie so big on him it made him look like a huge, cuddly bear.

“Hoseok.” You said, stopping him. He turned around, and when he noticed you scanning his costume, his face flushed bright. “OH MY GOD HOBI YOU LOOK SO CUTE CAN I-” You didn’t even finish your sentence and you were already running towards him with outstretched hands, ready to get a steel grip on his cheeks. But he darted away like an arrow into the room he was leading you into and before you even noticed, a heavy cloth hit you in the face causing you to cry out in surprise, your butt hitting the floor with a thud.

“Oh gosh, baby, I’m sorry, are you okay?” You heard Hoseok’s voice from a corner, small yet audible. Moving the heavy costume from your head, you looked for him. You found him peeping from the back of a sofa, the two small ears on the hood of the costume perked. You giggled at the sight. “You have bad aim.”

You got up on your feet and held the costume in front of you.

“Well, I’m sorry you were running behind me like a lunatic- baby, you’re holding it the other way around.” He sighed, and you giggled, embarrassed.

“Is this...” You looked at the division of the costume and how the red stopped halfway through the cloth and yellow covered the rest of the costume. When you noticed the clothed paunch at the belly of the costume, you recognized instantly who it was. “WINNIE THE POOH! OH MY GOD, HOBI, AND YOU’RE TIGGER!”

Apparently the size was too big, which caused the paunch to obstruct your walking. So when you tried to walk, all you could was waddle.

You rolled your eyes when you noticed Hoseok taking out his phone for a video, his cheeks red with the smile that never got off his lips.

“You know,’ You sighed as you tried to run in your costume so you wouldn’t have to be blackmailed with an embarrassing video of you wobbling through the streets in the future - but that mistake caused you to trip over your feet, almost falling flat on your face. “You should’ve gotten me a penguin costume instead.” And from the loud snicker that escaped Hoseok’s mouth, you were damn sure he had your little accident on tape.

“Aw, Y/N, then we wouldn’t look that cute like we do now. Pooh and Tigger are a cute pair, don’t you think?”

“Well, a penguin is an animal too, if you’re searching for a common ground.” You grunted as you reached your arms below the clothed paunch to pull it up. You didn’t care how ridiculous you looked as you carried the paunch in your hands. But as long as it could help you walk faster, you were going to let it strip off every ounce of your pride to get you to that party.

“YOU GUYS! LOOK AT Y/N, SHE HAS THE MOST ADORKABLE COSTUME EVER!” Taehyung literally shouted over the music that blared loudly through the house, his smile so wide it made his Joker make up look creepier. You sighed loudly as you walked in, and you regretted it as soon as you heard Yoongi cry out, “CUTE CUTE CUTE CUUUUUUTE!”

It wasn’t a surprise because he’d managed to show you every side of himself the first year you’d met him. This was old news. You bared your teeth in what you wouldn’t have definitely called a smile as you walked over to the empty hall, the decorations on the wall the only things having your attention. You didn’t know if you were more pissed at the paunch that kept hitting your thighs or Taehyung’s occasional shriek when you looked at him. He kept accusing you of looking too adorable.

“Y/N, cheer up, the guys love you both in these costumes!” Namjoon, who’d worn a Gryffindor uniform as his costume, shouted over the music, his eyes twinkling from behind his round-rimmed glasses as he smiled at you. You couldn’t help but chuckle when you noticed Taehyung had managed to cover his nose with a red ball. “He got you didn’t he?”

“He’s just living up to his title of a Joker, Y/N, don’t mind it.” He rolled his eyes playfully as he turned back to look at the rest of the gang. That’s when your eyes caught Jimin’s costume. You were glad to see Hoseok having fun with the youngest whose costume was not even to be reckoned with.

“Hey, I thought we were supposed to dress cute or scary?” You asked Namjoon, as your hips began swaying automatically to the music blaring through the speakers.

“Yeah, why?”

“How does Jimin get to dress sexy, then? Or at least, part sexy.” You asked, genuinely puzzled and quite frankly, embarrassed on behalf of him. Namjoon turned to look at Jimin and began laughing so hard, he almost snorted the punch he was drinking through his nose.

“Oh, that. It’s a Halloween dare. We do it every year. Last year it was Jin Hyung, and we made him wear that cowboy with a horse costume.” He bent over in laughter and you could feel it bubbling in your throat. You watched Jimin sulk but at the same time own his costume of a pole dancer, and part...superhero? All you could see was, he was shirtless, with a pair of BT21 stickers boxers and a cape that said ‘DO NOT FEAR, JIMIN HERE.’

You giggled as you made your way past Jungkook, who was dressed in a Sailor Moon costume - you didn’t even want to ask - and when you reached Jimin, you tapped his shoulder. He turned around and you couldn’t help but snort.

“You missed an ‘is’.” You said, eyes staring pointedly at his cape. He leaned closer, “What?”

“You missed an ‘is’! It’s supposed to say ‘JIMIN IS HERE’ not ‘JIMIN HERE’!” You said, laughing in between words. He immediately jumped back, “Oh, go throw yourself off a cliff, Y/N. IT’S A DARE!”

“SO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE ONE, YOU IDIOT!” You shouted back, and you both stared at each other before breaking out into a fit of laughter. Jimin had to inhale deeply at least thrice before he could speak.

“What is that?” He asked, pointing to the cloth bunched at your abdomen and upper thighs. You looked down at the paunch. You smiled fondly. “That’s my baby.” You said, and you looked up at a Jimin who looked so shook you broke out into laughter again. You slapped his arm playfully, your hand trying to clutch onto your real stomach. “JIMIN YOU ASS- I’m just kidding!”

“Oh. OH. Never mind.” He shook his head in disbelief. Just then, something bright shone into your eyes. Before you were blinded by it, you noticed Jin had walked up to you.

“Oh my god, Jin, what are you, knight in shining armor?” You meant it as a joke, but when the metal clips weren’t shining threateningly in your eyes anymore, you noticed you were somewhat close.

“Hmm, something like that.” He smirked as he took notice of your astounded look. He was literally dressed as a prince.

“HEY I THOUGHT YOU SAID CUTE OR SCARY MAN!” You yelled, infuriated because now that paunch and the wobbling was of no use if he was allowed to bend the rules.

“Hey, calm down-” He laughed, before he turned serious again, “Who said I can’t be cute?” And then he proceeded to make the most obnoxious yet cute face ever.

You cursed under your breath for almost agreeing that he did look cute if he wanted to and spun around to hide your blush when you bumped into someone.

“Woah. Hey there, Pooh.” You looked up to see a pale looking guy staring down at you. It took you three seconds to realize what Yoongi had dressed up as.

You chuckled in amusement. “Boy, you didn’t even try, did you?” You eyed his all white costume. The only extra efforts he’d bothered to put into it were the white contacts and the kohl lining his eyes. He smiled, proud of his costume. “Nope.”

“Well, I could say the same.”

“Hobi bought your costume, didn’t he?” He asked, his lip lifting into a knowing smirk. You nodded absently before it clicked you what he’d asked. You eyed him suspiciously. “How did you know?”

“I wonder who gave him the idea?”

“YOONGI YOU TRAITOR-”

oH MY GOSH THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!!!!!!

[imagineproduce101]

Ong Seongwoo Mafia AU

warnings: blood, guns, violence, cars, street racing-ish 

you’re a freelance hacker/coder 

having heard about you and your amazing abilities, someone sends you a a letter asking for you to “affiliate” yourself with the 101, the reigning mafia in your town, 

while you’re in no way eager to get involved in organized crime once again, the pay attached to it is very good, so you agree

the one condition is that you get to work from your own office space instead of moving to their hq, as you have a lot of equipment and stuff that would take a long time to rewire

the first “day” on the job, three guys show up at your house, one of them carrying a large briefcase

they ring your doorbell, and you watch in slight amusement through the security camera as one of them pulls out a cushion foundation and starts touching up his makeup

you allow to come in, sitting in your special rolling chair, surrounded by various screens

they file into your room, and introduce themselves one after another

the guy with the makeup was ong seongwoo, and he leans over to hand you the briefcase

as you pop it open, they explain that it’s the laptop of someone within the 101 who’s trying to betray them, so they need to surreptitiously hack into the laptop without the owner knowing 

there really isn’t any kind of special encryption or anything, so you apply an access key and you’re in

when you hand the computer back to seongwoo a minute after he gave it to you, the three guys just kind of stare at you in disbelief

“what, you want me to do a handstand too?”

as they go to leave, seongwoo turns to you

“you know, i knew you were good, but i didn’t know you were that good”

you kind of smirk at him from the door, waving as they walked off

“i’m not just good, sweetie, i’m the best”

(naeGA JEIL JAL NAGA) 

every couple weeks, they’ll either bring you a phone or computer to get into, or ask you to hack into someone’s email or social media account, all very low level stuff

seongwoo always insists on bringing you the task for some reason, and he starts hanging around even after you’re done

you don’t really mind, though, he’s funny and entertaining to the max

he then discovers that while you may be practically a genuis, you’re terrible at taking care of yourself

you start getting texts from him “did you eat?”

if you tell him you didn’t, he’ll show up at your house with takeout food

checks to makes sure you’re sleeping properly

when you get sick and he brings you soup and cold medicine, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you like him

then one night, you’re asleep and rudely awoken by the sound of your doorbell being rung about a million times

seongwoo is standing there looking extremely stressed

“no time to explain, grab your laptop and let’s go” he yelled loudly

you grabbed the laptop and a backup battery, following him outside to where a black bmw was waiting, purring loudly

seongwoo opened the back door for you before getting into the passenger’s seat quickly

the driver had been to your house a couple times before with seongwoo, and his name was sungwoon

“can you tell me what exactly i’m supposed to be doing?” you asked loudly, firing up your laptop

“one of our guys, kang daniel, got kidnapped” seongwoo explained “we need you to track his phone

you nodded, pulling your hair up into a ponytail before opening up the proper program, asking seongwoo for the phone model and number

once the program found daniel’s location, you handed the laptop up to seongwoo in the front seat so that sungwoon could follow him

his location was moving quickly, and sungwoon pressed down on the gas pedal, going dangerously fast

“(y/n), if anything happens, i want you to stay down and don’t make a sound” seongwoo commanded, looking back at you

you sent him a look

“like hell i will”

sungwoon snorted at that, reaching over to the glove box and taking out a pistol, handing it to you

“hope you remember how to fire a gun”

“hyung, no” seongwoo snapped, glaring at sungwoon

you grinned, clicking the safety off of the gun

“let’s do this”

it had been a while since you’d held a gun, and the feeling of power that rushed through your body was exhilirating

“we’re getting close to the car that has daniel” sungwoon said “get ready”

you watched as you got closer to the little dot’s location, heart pounding in your chest

seongwoo rolled down his window, aiming his pistol

once your car was in range, he started firing at the tires, making their car sharply swerve to the right, weaving in between cars

the speed picked up, and sungwoon cackled, revving the engine even more

seongwoo went through the rounds in the gun before reloading quickly, leaning out of the window to aim again

“seongwoo, no!” sungwoon yelled loudly, reaching over to yank seongwoo back into the speeding vehicle

he was too late, though-- someone from the car ahead of you had rolled down his own video and was sporting his own gun, shooting several rounds at seongwoo

most of them missed or hit the car frame, but one clipped him in the shoulder

sungwoon looked into the rearview mirror, trading a look with you

“get in the backseat” you snapped at seongwoo 

“no, i can do this” he said stubbornly, pushing through the obvious pain 

sungwoon rolled his eyes and rolled up the window, forcing seongwoo in

he reluctantly crawled into the back and you took his place in the front seat, checking your location and daniel’s

“they’re heading for the pier” you said to sungwoon “head down that alley”

sungwoon yanked the steering wheel to the left, heading down the small alley that you’d directed him

“you’re back” sungwoon laughed, sending you a slighly crazed look “i wonder if you still got it?”

“whaddya mean, back?” seongwoo slurred, still in extreme pain

as you leaned out of the window, aiming at a garbage can a good 50 meters in front of you, sungwoon chuckled at seongwoo’s obliviousness

“you didn’t know? (y/n)’s daniel’s half sister, the one who left the 101 to attend school”

“the one who erased herself from existence?” seongwoo gaped at you as you fired, one bullet burying itself into the thick plastic where the ‘b’ of garbage was printed on the plastic 

“i still got it” you smirked, leaning back into the car

“okay, we’re approaching target” sungwoon said loudly, and you rifled through the glove compartment quickly, finding the extra magazines of ammo so that you would be able to reload quickly

“do it like in the movies, bud” you grinned, riding the adrenaline as sungwoon nodded, the car shooting out of the small alley onto the large, empty pier

just like you predicted, about five seconds later, the car you’d been tailing squealed out of the main road onto the pier

sungwoon yanked the wheel violently, sending the car into a chaotic drift

as the car barreled forward, your own car squealed, tires snapping so that the car drifted around the curve of the pier

right before your car was exactly perpendicular to the one daniel was in, you stuck your body out of the window, aiming and firing, unloading one full magazine into the front window and hood

once that magazine was through, you got back inside the car and sungwoon shifted gears, pulling the car out of the drift so that you were parallel to their car

one of their windows was unrolled and the guy was aiming his gun at you

“wow, what a dumbass” you grinned, popping back up to aim at him

your shot hit and he fell back into the driver with a scream, making the car swerve

after blowing out one of the tires of their car, sungwoon stopped the car, grabbing his own gun before you two approached the car, seongwoo joining as well despite his shoulder injury

only one of the three guys was still concious, the one in the backseat with daniel, as you’d managed to land shots on the other two

he didn’t put up much of a fight as sungwoon tied him up before calling in for backup

when daniel saw you, he just smiled in thanks, understanding immediately what had happened

“welcome back to the family, sis”

seongwoo is still in shock about who you are 

this whole time he’d been thinking that you were just an innocent gamer

lmao sike

you visit him in the hospital with food because you feel bad

“why wouldn’t you tell me?” he complained, pouting up at you

“you never asked” you laughed, flicking him on the forehead

“you know how you could make it up to me?”

“how?”

“feed me~”

you roll your eyes at his cheesiness, but you end up feeding him

then out of nowhere

“hey, (y/N)

“yes?”

“are you mcdonalds? cuz i’m loving it” 

seongwoo winks

“yah... did you hurt your head too?”

“is your name wifi? cuz i’m feeling a CONNECTION”

“seongwoo, if you keep talking, there’s no way in hell i’ll ever go on a date with you”

“so you admit that i have a chance?”

it takes a lot of pestering on seongwoo’s part, but you finally agree to date him

daniel is suspicious of letting his best friend date his half-sister but he can get over it

seongwoo’s the type to think he’s protecting you when in reality you’re stronger than him lol

still texts you to make sure you’re eating/sleeping and brings you food for at-home dates watching netflix and cuddling

super sweet and just does his best to be the best boyfriend he can be

this was super messy i’m sorry lol

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: Self-Recording

Author: @magioftheseas

For: @izuvi

Rating/Warnings: T+; it gets really suggestive but I don’t think the sexual content is graphic enough to get an M rating. Sex is mentioned though. There’s some mental instability (hallucinations and dissociation), emotional baggage, and mentions of trauma. So the typical stuff in my case lol.

Prompt: hinata/servant exploration on this dynamic as they meet in an AU

Author’s notes: The fic’s a lot softer than I thought it’d be. And a lot longer, but that’s unsurprising. Unfortunately I only managed to finish this one fic, but all the same, I hope you like it!!

It was bright. Too bright.

“…gi…”

It almost hurt. His ears felt like they were ringing, and his eyes screwed even tighter shut before, slowly but surely, they opened as he picked up on someone calling his name.

“…to… Nagito…!”

Immediately, his eyes went wide. It took a minute for his vision to focus and, slowly but surely, he took in the visage of a young man looming over him, gazing upon him with concerned, mismatched eyes.

“…do I…”

“Nagito…?”

“…know you?”

Hazel and red both went wide for a moment, as his own brow furrowed in confusion.

“That name…where did you hear it? You’re…vaguely familiar but surely I would have recognized you if you were part of…” A pause. A blink. “Wait… Kamukura-kun?”

Kamukura flinched.

“You’re Kamukura-kun, right?” he asked, pushing himself up, only for him to groan as his head spun from the sudden action. Despite himself, almost as if on instinct, Kamukura steadied him with a low murmur to just take it easy. “Urgh… Kamukura-kun… Why…?”

Why are you here? Why am I? What happened? Why does everything…hurt?

Ah. He was covered in bandages. He must’ve gotten caught up in something. That would explain some things. Only some.

“Nagito…” Kamukura started, carefully and almost hesitantly. Kamukura hesitant? “What is the last thing you recall?”

Ah. Suddenly the hesitance was gone in favor of clipped, clinical detachment. That was more like it. Perhaps he had been imagining everything from before. It would not be the first time he hallucinated terribly.

“Um… Dunno…” He almost laughed, especially with this strange troubling undercurrent of dread. “I, but, right… I was babysitting. I’ve become their servant, Kamukura-kun, isn’t that funny? Unsurprisingly, they’re quite unruly and troubling. I barely escaped death, yet again, by the skin of my nose!”

“Servant,” Kamukura repeated flatly. He nodded.

“Mm, so, you can just call me that now. I ah, might as well get more into the role.”

“…No.”

The answer was immediate. Servant frowned, and then turned to him, and, to his surprise, Kamukura looked fatigued and haggard as he shook his head.

“No…” He groaned. “You’re Nagito, not some servant.”

What…exactly…is this?

“Nagito,” he went on in exasperation. This wasn’t Kamukura. This couldn’t be Kamukura.

And yet.

“…We’ve uh, got a lot to talk about. This is…definitely going to be overwhelming.”

“Kamukura-kun…?”

“Let’s uh, start with that,” Kamukura muttered, tiredly rolling his eyes. “I’m… Well, I’m…”

“Who are you?” Servant asked, blank and flat in tone. “You’re not Kamukura-kun.”

“…Well.” Kamukura shrugged almost helplessly. “Uh. Yes and no…?”

Servant’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Look, it’s a long story,” Not-Kamukura said, almost pitifully. “It’ll take a while.”

“I’m a patient person,” Servant answered coldly. “And I have quite a bit of time. So why don’t we start…?”

It occurred to him, then, that he had been opening and closing a hand that shouldn’t be there. He looked down, and sure enough, where her hand used to be has been replaced with a black and white mechanical prosthetic. He blinked once. He opened it. He closed it.

“…Huh.”

“Like I said,” Not-Kamukura laughed mirthlessly. “There’s a lot to go through.”

And all the same, Servant gestured for him to go on.

“Well, then you better get started.”

–

While washing his wounds and reapplying bandages, Not-Kamukura spoke of all sorts of things. A magical rabbit, a series of murders and class trials like there had been with the 78th class, the survivors of the 78th class’s involvement, her return and second downfall…

“This all sounds very…fake, Not-Kamukura-kun.”

“Well the whole thing was a simulation, so…”

“You know what I mean, Not-Kamukura-kun.”

Not-Kamukura rolled his eyes, pinning the last of the bandages on his leg in place.

“I do know. Nagito. Will you stop calling me that? I told you, I am Kamukura Izuru, I just—happen to be someone else, too.”

“Who else?” he asked brightly. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

Not-Kamukura growled at him.

“Hinata. Hajime. Hinata Hajime.”

Why are you putting emphasis on the given name…?

“Hinata-kun. My apologies. That name’s so unremarkable that it’s difficult to remember.”

Hinata looked utterly unimpressed, but moved to bandage his other leg. In a great show of mercy, he was just as gentle as before. Servant’s smile faded into an unreadable not-quite-frown.

“Hinata-kun…was the name of the reserve course student who volunteered in the Kamukura Project. I suppose the simulation dragged you out? I would’ve thought the talentless nobody reserve would’ve been disposed of during the procedure.” Hinata flinched. He went on. “Are you really Hinata Hajime, though? Or are you no one in particular? The Kamukura Project removed Hinata Hajime. This Neo World Program removed Kamukura Izuru. That leaves you, doesn’t it? So who, exactly, are you?”

“Hinata Hajime…and Kamukura Izuru.” His tone was blank, and both hazel and crimson eyes seemed frightfully vacant. “I am both, but I am also neither.”

Servant hummed thoughtfully.

“Goodness. What a dreadfully confusing existence that must be.”

“Yeah, well.” He laughed humorlessly. “You have no idea.”

Servant smiled as before, but this time, his gaze was not being met as the other re-focused on replacing his bandages. Ah, that’s right, the bandages.

“The injuries I sustained seem to be rather serious,” he said cheerfully. “Well, they must be quite serious…considering how far back they knocked my memory, haha. Do you think the damage is permanent? Am I going to be like this forever? How despairing! But maybe it’ll be a good thing, lead to a far greater, brighter hope—!”

“Aside from the loss of memory, nothing seems amiss with your head,” the other stated coldly and matter-of-factly. Just like Kamukura. Servant shut his mouth and listened attentively as he went on. “From what I can tell, it should be temporary. So don’t worry, Nagito, you will be back to normal soon.”

Normal? For someone like me? Impossible.

“Haha. Hahaha. Not-Kamukura-kun, that’s such a funny joke.”

“Urgh.” He groaned. “Again with that? Just… Just call me Hinata. What does it matter anyway?”

“Not-Hinata-kun?” Servant suggested, to which the other immediately scowled at him. Servant’s smile was wide and vapid as he corrected himself. “Hinata-kun. Fine. As you said, it really doesn’t matter.”

Hinata Hajime is a nobody anyway. A foolish nobody who threw himself away to become the supposed SHSL Hope. Hope. Ridiculous. As if that project would result in anything but abject failure.

“A question, Hinata-kun,” he said, offering his non-mechanical arm to be bandaged up as well. “What is our relationship?”

Hinata stiffened at that, face going red as Servant’s smile widened.

“Was I your lover, perhaps, Hinata-kun?”

That blush darkened, and yet Hinata bristled. “S-So what if you were?”

“Ooh, how interesting!” he exclaimed in genuine awe. “A real surprise! What a shocking twist! I never would have guessed!”

“You’re…playing this up way too much…” Hinata muttered, still flustered and very much unamused. “It’s not…that surprising…considering I use your given name…”

“Ohhh, that’s true.”

Hinata rolled his eyes again.

“How serious are you even being right now, Nagito?” he asked, wrapping up his arm.

“At least semi!” Servant chirped and then, brighter, he added, “It hurts all over, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata immediately pulled back with a flinch and a hiss. Servant could only laugh, even as the sound was wheezy and strained. Hinata glared, but he still trembled a little before bowing his head, letting it hang rather…miserably.

“I’m sorry, Nagito.”

Servant’s smile dropped. He blinked a few times.

“…I forgive you, I think, Hinata-kun.”

Ah, what…?

–

Hinata had explained what had gotten him into this banged up state too, of course. It had indeed sounded quite gruesome, and walking could evoke some screeching agony, but…really, it was still miraculous he was in one piece for the most part. That was likely Hinata’s doing, really. Hinata surely carried him all the way here and treated him.

Of course he did. He was Hinata’s lover after all.

More or less.

(Kamukura had carried him to safety before, too. But only because he had asked really, really nicely.)

He and Hinata were lovers.

He wondered if that meant they slept together. Surely they had. Surely.

(Well, he had slept with Kamukura before, of course. But only as a show of gratitude. Deeply appreciative gratitude.)

“…sorry…” Hinata was saying quietly, dropping several old magazines on his lap. Some of them had quite the distinct stench. “I know it gets boring having to lay around as you recover, but…this was the best I could do to find entertainment.”

“…Thank you,” Servant replied with a polite nod. Some of the magazines had been so damaged that they’d be worthless as reading material, but he supposed that was what pictures were for. “Well, it’s not like you can turn on the television or anything. Since, I assume, all channels are down.”

“That and the electricity required isn’t worth rigging up,” Hinata huffed. “Besides, Nagito, you’re not much of a television watcher.”

“Mm, that’s true…” Humming, he gestured with his whirling metallic hand. “Hinata-kun, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata leaned in, confused, and subsequently reddened when Servant kissed his cheek.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed much more brightly.

Hinata pulled back, looking almost taken aback—why? They were lovers, after all—before giving a small, strained smile in response.

“You’re welcome, Nagito.”

–

There are still a lot of questions to ask. So many that he doesn’t really feel like asking them at all. So he doesn’t.

But there are times he stirs as he sleeps, feeling the warm grip of Hinata’s hand around his own and those questions bubble to his lips anyway. Still, he doesn’t ask. He just sighs, squeezes Hinata’s hand in return, and tries to get back to sleep.

He tries. Sometimes. He just can’t sleep at all, but Hinata holds his hand all the same.

Hinata…truth be told, Servant’s not sure when Hinata sleeps, given how in and out he is in Ser—Nagito’s temporary room. Hinata had already pulled up a chair by his bedside, but sometimes, Hinata kneels by the bedside instead, burying his face in folded arms. Tonight, it’s the latter.

Neither the chair nor this position look remotely comfortable.

The state of Hinata’s back is looking considerably, despairingly worrying.

He slips his hand out of Hinata’s grip, and unsurprisingly, said grip loosens enough so that he can do so. Considerate even in troubled sleep, this Hinata.

Servant huffed softly, gaze flickering to the dark, starless sky beyond the window before staring back down at the top of Hinata’s spiky, unresponsive head.

There’s a swell in his chest. Whether it’s affection or aggravation is…frankly, irrelevant and unimportant compared to the matter at hand.

With gritted teeth, he scoots back and reached out to pull Hinata into the bed. It’s difficult, it’s trying, it’s painful, and Hinata’s leg probably knocks against something, but Hinata, deep sleeper he is, didn’t stir. Really, if he wasn’t familiar with this by now, he would’ve thought Hinata comatose.

Rearranging Hinata into a more comfortable sleeping position is an unsurprising pain, but all the same, he manages. All the same, he snuggles up against the warmth the other provided.

Really, this was the most comfortable he’s been in a while. Only comparable, unsurprisingly, when he had been allowed to snuggle up against Kamukura. Hinata was just as warm. He was warm. So warm.

Servant let out a pleased sigh.

Warm…

Hinata was gone again by the time he woke up, but…sometimes, when he’d wake up in the middle of the night, Hinata would once again be curled around him, now holding him close.

It really was…nice.

Very nice.

He can imagine her sneering at this perfectly.

–

“There’s nothing wrong with that, right? After all, we’re lovers!”

Hinata-kun’s so warm, but I can’t get a reading on him at all sometimes. Abnormally normal, as expected of the average anomaly.

“Oh, of course, I know I’m not really his lover just as he’s not really mine. I’m just a servant, after all.”

Hey, did I kill her? Did I did I did I did I did I?

“But if Hinata-kun doesn’t mind, then I really don’t see a problem. The warmth of someone else, the tenderness that can be shown and shared… Even if they’re ultimately useless in the grand scheme of things, they’re still quite nice to feel, so… So…”

So… So don’t…!

“So don’t! Make that face! You should understand me best of all!”

Because…

“A-After all…!”

B-Because…!

Komaeda Nagito still wore such a scowl.

–

“…Nagito, do you…?”

“No,” he answered quickly and almost flippantly. He still flinched after stumbling, but Hinata held him steady. “Sorry, Hinata-kun.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Hinata muttered in a not-fine tone, but tightened his grip on Servant’s wrist, with Servant’s arm wrapped around his shoulders to use him as a makeshift clutch. “Hopefully, once we get back to the island…we can use the medical equipment there…and Tsumiki will be there to help…”

Tsumiki-san…?

He must have made a face, because Hinata hurriedly explained.

“O-Or not! Right, you, uh, probably have some really bad memories of Tsumiki, right?”

Really bad was a bit of an understatement.

“I swear, no one’s going to hurt you, least of all her… She’s…gotten better. Everyone’s been doing a lot better.” Hinata swallowed. “They’ll be nice… I’ll make sure of it…”

“Oh, a declaration of protection,” Servant said, almost thoughtfully. “That’s essentially a love confession. You really are so gallant, Hinata-kun.”

And, of course, Hinata blushed.

“I-I already told you…” he grumbled. And then, he perked up. “Hey, Nagito… Are you sure you’re alright?”

Servant blinks once, twice. His legs still hurt.

“I feel sore.”

“Mentally, emotionally,” Hinata spoke almost blankly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

…Ah. Right.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” is the response he almost gives, vapid laugh and all, but he knows that Hinata would have an answer to why he wouldn’t be.

And, truth be told, it was odd, all things considered. For days and weeks, he’s just been drifting through in a state that was neither hope nor despair. Even when Hinata had been recounting everything that had happened, even when Hinata had described meeting her in the simulation, he felt…detachment. Distance. Almost as if someone had just read him a dryly written story.

Unsurprisingly, even his most recent memories felt far away.

“By all accounts,” Hinata went on, and those mismatched eyes are boring into him, red more than hazel. A shiver went up his spine. “You should be in despair, Nagito. But the way you’re acting is…stable.”

That’s the word you’re going to use?

“You say that like a breakdown is imminent,” Servant said, brightly smiling up at him. “Is that why you’ve been keeping so close?”

“I’m not just your doctor and you know it,” Hinata replied, wavering. Just like that, the flare of excitement fizzled. “We’re…close.”

“Because we’re lovers,” Servant said, nodding. Hinata hesitated, but nods in return.

“…you’re alright with that, right?”

It’s funny how uncertain Hinata seemed to be. As if they haven’t spent several nights cuddling. Still, Servant just nodded again, and said nothing about how more than a few times he considered shoving Hinata off the roof.

Not to kill or hurt him, of course. But just to see how he’d react, if he’d snap. Really, it’d almost be like doing him a favor.

Something like that.

–

The world outside is considerably different from Towa City. The sky is brighter, bluer, and even the screeching from this Monokuma bot was much more pleasant to listen to compared to before. Of course, this Monokuma bot, with how easy it is to kick down with his foot, really isn’t much of a threat with how Hinata reprogrammed it.

“Nagito!” Hinata called to him, hands deep in the wires of another Monokuma. “Quit bullying it!”

Servant kicked it down again, just to hear that exclamation of, “Nyahaw!”

It squirmed a bit, small stubby legs flailing before it managed to push itself back up. Almost immediately, Servant kicked it down again.

“Nyoho!”

“Nagito!”

“It’s therapeutic, Hinata-kun!” he called back brightly. The Monokuma pushed itself back up, tottering away almost hurriedly. Servant caught up with it in a few quick strides. “You have to admit…”

His foot slams into its back, knocking it back down. “Upow!”

“It’s nice,” he said, brushing his hair back. “Being able to terrorize these despicable creatures.”

“It is,” Hinata did agree even as he rolled his eyes and sounded awfully unimpressed about it. “But, look, Nagito, if you damage it, who’s going to have to fix that? Me.”

“Shouldn’t the former SHSL Mechanic be handling something like this?” Servant asked, whirling around on his heel. Even from this distance, he could tell that Hinata stiffened.

“Souda…no…” He teared out some wiring with seemingly more force than necessary. The words are stilted and uncomfortable. “Unfortunately, no. Souda can’t…stand these things.”

It was in the delivery that makes the bothersome words much heavier and troubling. Servant blinked once, tilted his head, and kept his tone chipper and upbeat.

“Really?” There was a disbelieving and almost gleeful edge. Hinata flinched. “Even though this kind of thing is his talent?”

“It can’t be helped,” Hinata quietly snapped at him. Quietly. “So, I…”

“It just seems a bit audacious,” he said lightly. “If not annoying.”

Hinata sighed loudly. Servant hears the Monokuma scuttling off. He could still catch it if he gave chase, but now he was far too bored with the idea, and so his focused gaze on the other—his lover—is retained.

“It can’t be helped,” Hinata repeated irritably and a little louder than before. “And it’s not like I mind.”

“Hinata-kun’s so generous!” Servant exclaimed, gushing and fawning. “Of course I really should have known! You tolerate someone like me after all! Such patience! I’m smitten! I love you, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata swallowed, and then began to fiddle more with the wires as Servant skipped up to him. Despite everything, Hinata relaxed as Servant wrapped his arms around him. Hinata sighed as before, but much softer now.

“Love you too, Nagito.”

Ah, huh?

Servant blinked once, smile now blank. And after a while, he simply giggled.

Ah, seriously, what is this?

–

Kamukura wasn’t like the others. He wasn’t like them; there wasn’t anyone quite like him. Something normal twisted and distorted into abnormality, the supposedly clear line between natural and artificial has been blurred, and where could he be except caught between attraction and repulsion, between love and hatred for such an indescribable being?

Either way his feelings were tragically unrequited, weren’t they? Wasn’t that awful? Wasn’t that despairing?

Kamukura didn’t care for him at all. Which was expectable and sensible, of course, for someone so downright worthless.

Worthless, worthless, I’m so very, very worthless!

“Careful, Nagito,” Hinata said gently. He carefully helped him step over rubble, squeezing his hand and extending out his arm for when he stumbles and has to latch onto something lest he fall.

Hinata is warm, Hinata sighs, and whenever he hears something rustle, that’s his immediate cue to step in front of Servant as though to act as a shield.

Worthless, worthless…

“If something bad happens to me, good luck will make up for it,” he reminded Hinata cheerfully. Hinata gives him an unimpressed look.

“Money’s not going to help in this dead economy,” he replied. Servant laughed.

“Of course not, but good luck can come in other forms.” It was obvious to point out. He was almost annoyed, but the way Hinata rolls his eyes, the way Hinata squeezes his hand—it’s not so bad. Not at all.

“Regardless,” Hinata said without missing a beat, “I have no intention of letting anything happen to you, Nagito.”

“Ehehe, so gallant…”

You really are so protective, aren’t you?

Keep that up and I might actually feel precious.

–

“Please…”

More.

A lover’s touch really is such a gentle, intimate thing. It’s something to be cherished and revered, the way a lover’s body should be. That was the case here, too, of course, as Kamukura kissed him softly. His hands were a gentle cage, cupping his cheeks, stroking the curves and along his jawline. Kamukura’s body very gently crushes his own as they’re pressed up together like this.

He was holding Kamukura close, of course. He was kissing Kamukura back, of course. Desperately, damply, with little slick, wet smacking sounds between their lips and tongues. He sighed as Kamukura kissed down his neck, raising his arms obediently as Kamukura pulled off his shirt.

I want more.

In the darkness, beauty cannot be seen and would cease to exist if not for the presence of touch, of contact, of this.

“…Kamukura-kun… I… Please…” There was an uncertain whine to the words. Kamukura bit his neck, immediately making him flinch and cry out.

Pushing boundaries—more and more until the line is crossed—that’s the kind of despicable creature I am.

If he looked over, in the darkness, he would see the glow of Komaeda Nagito, staring down at him unreadably. He stiffened, just a little, as Komaeda Nagito tilted his head, and Kamukura held him steady. All the same, Kamukura guided his hips, and all the same, Komaeda Nagito looked at him.

Kamukura didn’t even get the chance to fuck him before Servant wakes with a jolt in a trembling cold sweat. And that’s all it was.

That’s all this was.

I…really am so… He trembled, taking up handfuls of long, stringy strands. Disgusting.

Hinata slept so innocently beside him that it’s so much worse.

–

“Well, of course I am precious to Hinata-kun. As his lover. As Komaeda Nagito.”

That’s only to be expected, but…

“…of course I know that at the same time, I’m not really precious to Hinata-kun because that person isn’t me.”

No, no, no.

“I really am worthless, aren’t I? So pathetic! What kind of wretched creature takes advantage of a lover’s protectiveness?”

It’s the worst, worst, worst! I’m really so worthless, worthless, worthless!

“Hahaha! Haha! Stop looking at me like that!”

I know, I know, I know!

“Please just stop!”

–

“We’re about finished, here,” Hinata was saying, wiping off his hands. Servant nodded, and tripped the Monokuma tottering past. Hinata gave him a look of sharp disapproval but rolled his eyes and went on. “Tomorrow, we’re heading back to Jabberwock, Nagito.”

Jabberwock. He nodded again. The Monokuma pushes itself up and quickly scampers away.

“Do the others know?” Servant asked cheerfully.

Hinata stiffened for a moment. But he nodded.

“Of course they do,” he said. “They’re your friends, so they care about whether or not you’re doing alright.”

Friends. Huh.

“They didn’t care at all in the past,” Servant said. “They couldn’t be bothered to care at all. They weren’t my friends. They didn’t even consider me their peer, or a person really. Did you know that I’m not present in most of the class photos? Of course, that’s to be expected, why would I be allowed that kind of privilege but, still—pretty despairing, don’t you think?”

Hinata looked stricken, and then, Hinata shook his head.

“That’s not the case anymore,” he replied with a placating smile. “Koizumi’s taken tons of pictures that you’re in. Kuzuryuu and Souda both asked about you. Nidai asked about your bowels…? Owari asked if you were eating well. They care about you, it’s not like back…then…”

“Oh, lucky me,” Servant laughed vapidly. “That kind of change sounds really unbelievable, almost miraculous, but I guess you really can do anything, Hinata-kun.”

“…What…?” Hinata blinked twice, but… Servant saw that he understood what he meant, and he shook his head quickly soon after. “I… No. No, I have nothing to do with…”

“You don’t? I mean, you’d definitely have a problem with it. The one you love, being treated as less than nothing by all your friends. You must’ve gotten onto their cases more than a few times.” His smile was blank. “Because, look, Hinata-kun, from what I can tell, that time in the simulation didn’t do my relationships with any of them any favors. Honestly, I’m surprised you can even stand me with the things I’ve apparently done, much less love me in spite of it.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Hinata was saying the words like someone else put them in his mouth. “That was because of her…”

“Hinata-kun,” he said. “Even if you believed that, it’d be difficult to treat someone like me normally.”

Hinata flinched.

Ah.

“From what you told me,” he went on sweetly. “They seem to rely on you quite a bit. You must be quite the popular fellow. It’s no surprise, but…all the same, they must feel really indebted to you, too.”

Hinata’s mismatched eyes narrowed. Both hazel and crimson were so vibrant it sent shivers down his spine and he just couldn’t stop talking.

“You not only saved their lives, but you take on so many of their duties. So, really, compared to everything you did, what’s everything I’ve done? Being nice to the basket case must be really easy now, don’t you think?”

“…Don’t say that,” Hinata said, sharply, voice full of warning. “It’s not…”

“After all, regardless of how terrible someone was, if you were just as terrible if not more so, how hard can it be to treat them normally? Especially when you owe so much to the person who loves them?”

“No, you’re wrong…”

“Am I?” Servant asked just as sharply. “So, none of what I said is true?”

“They care about you,” Hinata repeated, firm and stern. “It’s not like back then.”

“Because they like me?” Servant asked, huffing out a laugh. “As a person?”

“Yes.” Hinata nodded, and he smiled right back, sardonically and irritably. “Nagito, do you seriously think we haven’t had this conversation before?”

Servant stared at him, long and hard, and then he shook his head, sighing.

“…So, what conclusion did we come to, in that case?”

“You already know the answer to that,” Hinata said, softer now. “And if you don’t, well… You can figure it out, Nagito. You’re…really smart.”

You say that at a moment when I feel like an idiot. But…

The way Hinata was looking at him—so gently and mournfully and yet…achingly resigned. As though this whole matter really did hold a painful familiarity to him.

“…I suppose.”

Hinata’s eyes soften even more, and he patted his hair affectionately. Servant’s head ducked under his hand, but said nothing more on the matter. Hinata must be thankful for that.

“Come on,” he said warmly, an arm wrapping around his shoulders to keep him both warm and steady. The sky was darkening from a beautiful violet. Soon, the sun would set and it’d be yet another opportunity to see the stars he had missed for so long. “Let’s head back and crash for the day.”

“…Okay.” He leaned in, and let Hinata lead him towards their temporary residing. He can’t help but think that he might miss that place, were he capable of feeling anything at the moment.

How stupid.

–

They were walking together to that shelter house for the last time. So, of course, he couldn’t help but bring it up.

“…I’m not him. You know that, don’t you, Hinata-kun? I’m not…your Nagito. I’m nobody. I’m a servant.”

“You’re Nagito.”

“Urgh.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re not listening.”

“Neither are you,” Hinata shot back immediately. “Look, it’s simple. Regardless of what you think, of what you actually remember, you’re still a guy named Komaeda Nagito. You’re still Nagito. And that’s enough for me.”

“…why?” All this time and it was only now that he couldn’t help but ask. “Why? Because Komaeda Nagito is your lover? What has he done to earn such devotion?” A pause, a twist in his smile. “Was the sex that good, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata flattered, taken aback, and then, with a scowl, his glare narrowed severely.

“We’re friends,” he said. “And I love him.”

“It must really be lonely then, being stuck with me,” Servant replied, blinking bright doe eyes back at him. “Say, how about tonight, I make it worth your while? I’ll show you my gratitude. Because, for Hinata-kun’s love and kindness, I really am, so, so grateful.”

Hinata froze for a moment. He went very, very still.

The shelter house is visible, now. It really did look like such a cold, empty place from a distance.

“…don’t joke around like that,” Hinata finally said after a while. “That’s…not… That’s not funny, Nagito.”

“Oh, Hinata-kun,” he sighed and shook his head in mock disappointment. “I was being quite serious, you know.”

“That’s not funny.”

Servant blinked once. Twice.

“I really could make it worth your while,” he repeated sweetly. “I’ve been around enough times to know what it’s like. Of course, compared to your actual lover, since I don’t know your preferences…”

…and since Kamukura-kun didn’t have any…

“…I might end up fairly lacking, but, still, I could…”

“Nagito,” Hinata said, short and curt. “Stop. Stop…talking like this.”

“Like what?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Like…like…” Hinata hesitated. “Like there’s nothing between us.”

“There is nothing between us,” Servant answered matter-of-factly. “After all, I don’t remember this relationship at all. So to me, it might as well not even exist.”

“Please don’t say that.” Hinata looked desperate. “You know that’s not true.”

“Do I, really?” I don’t think so. “I think you’re mistaken, Hinata-kun. That, or it’s just wishful thinking.”

“Nagito…” Hinata was pleading with him.

Servant was tired of this.

“…Let’s not talk like this anymore, like there’s something between us,” he said, turning around. “After all, I don’t remember you at all. You’re just a stranger, Hinata-kun. An acquaintance, at best.”

“I’m your lover, Nagito!”

Servant pauses for but a moment.

“…Hinata-kun…” He glanced back. “I’m just going on ahead. Calm down.”

And with that, he moved on. Hinata followed him, of course, but…even though Hinata could easily catch up and match his pace, he instead maintained that distance. Even when Servant reached the door and headed directly to his room.

Hinata didn’t follow him, after that. For the first time in weeks, Servant was back to staying in a room by himself.

It wasn’t that hard to go back to sleep, and he didn’t really dream anything, either.

It just was.

Hope, despair… I don’t really feel anything right now.

–

He didn’t know any of the people who greet them on the boat. They were all dressed in the same dark suits, all wearing the same impassive faces with sharp gazes. Hinata talked with them politely, respectably, and in that moment, he definitely saw what could be a more dutiful Kamukura Izuru.

So he might as well not be Kamukura Izuru at all. He’s definitely Not-Kamukura-kun.

Servant couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable. He was deferential and quiet as he should be, and was more than used to the masses looking down on him, but…the air here was different. It wasn’t like dealing with other SHSL Despair members. Of course not. Of course…not.

All the sharp gazes really were quite piercing though. Like he was being cut right through flesh and bone and his very being. It was uncomfortable. Right down to the point he finds himself drifting closer to Hinata as he talked. Hinata was talking to them like he wasn’t even there, about the rebuilding of the world, the state of affairs, surveys and predictions—

Servant keeps his head down, but he perks because despite all this, Hinata’s open hand was extended slightly towards him. He looked back up, but Hinata is still in deep conversation about all these things Servant didn’t fully understand nor truly care about.

He hesitates, but all the same, he slipped his hand into Hinata’s. Hinata squeezes, stroked his hand with his thumb, and continued on talking like nothing happened.

He felt the prickling sensation of several sharp gazes, but…Hinata’s hand is warm, a little too tight, and really, wasn’t that a little problematic?

Still, admirably, Hinata finished these conversations. And yet, Hinata did not let go of his hand.

“S-Sorry,” Hinata told him lowly, smiling a little towards him. “That was, uh, pretty nerve-wracking, wasn’t it? You must have been…really uncomfortable…”

Hinata’s grip was still a little too tight, especially with the added squeeze. It was a bit clammy, too.

“It’s fine, Hinata-kun,” he said. “Really, it’s fine.”

Hinata exhaled a sigh of relief, squeezing his hand a little more.

“T-That’s great! I’m glad you’re alright, Nagito!”

Another squeeze.

“Why do you keep squeezing my hand?” Servant finally asked, irritated. “Didn’t I tell you that without my memories, there’s nothing between us? You’re being a creepy nuisance, Hinata-kun.”

“A-Ah!” Hinata’s hand snapped back. “S…Sorry…!”

Servant huffed as the other rubbed nervously at the nape of his neck. Without another word, Servant brushed past him.

“I’m definitely not the one you should be worrying about, Hinata-kun,” he remarked. Hinata flinched, but he nodded. Nothing more was said as Servant shut the door to his cabin behind him.

–

…Is that why Hinata-kun loves him?

His hand still tingled from Hinata’s warmth. He stared at it, adjusting his other hand, the mechanical one, just to hear it whirl.

I shouldn’t be thinking of this. What does it matter?

He thought that, but then he couldn’t help but wonder, what did matter?

I don’t know. I feel so…disconnected. That’s…it. That’s all. Not hope, not despair. Disconnected.

That should’ve been despairing in of itself. But despair felt like such a distant thing that he really couldn’t be bothered to dwell on it.

The trip back to Jabberwock was going to be a long one. And it was going to be all the more stifling and dull if he spent it avoiding Hinata like he planned.

Well.

It’s not like there’s anything to say to him, or to anyone, really. Maybe he’ll be so numbed by boredom that memories will come bursting through and he’ll be so overcome with emotion that he’ll rush to Hinata and passionately embrace him.

If only I could be so lucky. Haha.

“Hah…” He sighed, exhaled, and leaned back. “If only.”

–

Jabberwock’s sky was clear, sunlight blinding. If nothing else, his mechanical hand made good shade. It was funny. The trip had been smoother than he expected, and yet he still felt so woozy.

He didn’t need Hinata to help steady him. Despite that, rather annoyingly, Hinata kept glancing back like he wanted to. Admirably, Hinata maintained a respectful distance.

The others on that boat stay behind, but it was fine because so much of the former Class 77-B of HPA is there, waving and welcoming.

“Yo, yo! Hinata! Komaeda!”

“Yahoo! Hajime-chan!! Nagito-chan!!”

“Hinata-san, Komaeda-san…!”

Hinata waved back with a bright laugh that he hadn’t heard before, and yet his chest ached for it. It was annoying. And the bright, aching smiles on the others’ faces were also so, so irritating.

Mioda latched onto Hinata first, with Owari smacking his back. Kuzuryuu had a small, but undeniably fond smile, and Souda ruffled Hinata’s hair.

Sonia greets him first.

“Komaeda-san,” she said kindly and pleasantly. “You seem to be doing quite…well.”

And then, her eyes scanned him sharply. And he knew what she was looking for. Her smile was already strained, but she didn’t falter at all. If anything, she looked relieved.

“…I’m glad,” she finished. All Servant does is nod.

And then the others turned to stare. Servant looked down, not avoiding any gaze in particular except for Hinata’s.

Kuzuryuu approached him, then, leaning in. Servant did perk up at that.

“So you really don’t remember, huh?” His gaze wasn’t as fierce as before, brow furrowed like he was trying to figure something out. All the same, Servant once again averted his eyes. Kuzuryuu clicked his tongue. “Yep. Don’t remember at all.”

“…I apologize,” wa what he decided to meekly reply with.

“Oh, no,” Sonia said, laughing easily. “Komaeda-san, you do not need to apologize. It was a tragic, unfortunate accident, so…”

“We ain’t gonna hurt ya,” Owari cut in curtly. She was the one who seemed the most indifferent about the matter. “I know all you got is memories of that happening, but it ain’t gonna happen anymore, got it? I mean, unless you do something real stupid, of course.”

She cracked her knuckles. He wasn’t surprised at all.

He wasn’t surprised by Hinata stepping in between them either.

“Guys,” he said, stern and firm. “It’s fine. He doesn’t remember, but he’s hasn’t reverted or anything like that either.”

“He looks stable,” Koizumi spoke up next. “And if he isn’t, then crowding him definitely isn’t going to help. Back off, Akane-chan.”

Owari did, nodding, holding out her hands, but with her eyes shut with an otherwise completely unruffled expression.

“Nagito,” Hinata spoke to him quietly. “It’s alright. We’re all friends here.”

…Friends…?

His head was starting to spin, was definitely starting to ache as his eyes swept across all these piercing, boring gazes. Ah, right. He has been in a situation like this before, hasn’t he? Carelessly cruel stares closing in—it’s spinning around and round like before, like before, like—

It’s only chance that he met wide, light, gray-purple eyes. Eyes that widen further, darken further, and then Tsumiki Mikan froze like a doe in headlights. She shivered, just the slightest bit, but there’s an intensity in her gaze that immediately made him shiver as well.

“…Ah…”

“Nagito—!”

Hinata caught him just as he collapses. Everything was starting to blur, everything including Hinata’s stricken, worried face.

“…overwhelming…”

And just like that, Servant shut his eyes tight.

–

There was supposed to be a party welcoming them all back, and Servant, unsurprisingly, had no intention of going. He just stood in the entryway of a cabin that was supposedly his, and stared blankly at the very familiarly unfamiliar room. The door was still cold behind him.

For a moment, he almost regretted snapping at Hinata earlier to leave him be. Hinata had been quite kind to bring him to this room, after all. Despairingly cold, empty, and unused as the room was.

Because Komaeda Nagito spent most of his time in Hinata-kun’s room. They were lovers, after all.

It was still clean, at least. Someone had been cleaning it, but it wasn’t as clean as he prefered things, so he cleaned a bit more. With two hands, one being mechanical, scrubbing was actually pretty easy, especially compared to the cleaning those children made him do.

Even now, cleaning was one of the few things he still enjoyed, and he was actually rather good at it. Cleaning calms him down, and helps with the illusion of order in his utterly, despairingly disorderly life.

And here I am, cleaning and organizing the room of someone whose life is and isn’t mine.

He decided not to dwell too much on such thoughts.

What did it matter, anyway? Everything here—these curtains just a touch too light for his tastes, these various trinkets set up he both adored and hated, a shelf full of books that were well-worn and recognizable tucked between several that weren’t so well-worn and not at all recognizable. Pill bottles that clearly hadn’t been used in a while but were still set neatly aside just in case.

The dresser was already carefully organized, full of clothes to his tastes. For good measure, there were more than a few of Hinata’s shirts inside, too.

Servant scrubbed the bathroom so hard that it was sparkling afterwards.

There were some photos, too, taped to the walls. Photos of flowers, of skies, and ones where Komaeda Nagito is smiling with his former classmates. Quite a few are of Komaeda Nagito looking truly happy alongside Hinata’s wide, cheeky grin. Quite a few were simply of Hinata, glancing towards the camera—wearing an expression befitting of Kamukura Izuru.

Except, Kamukura Izuru’s gaze had never been this soft. It really must have been such a lucky capture on film. No wonder Komaeda Nagito had been eager to tape this one to the wall with the others.

The fridge was filled with water bottles and cans of the soda he likes, but not much else. It had been kept clean. The bathroom, too, had been kept clean, but there were two toothbrushes, one green and the other red. And of course, there was a well-stocked first aid kit. In the shower, there was jasmine-scented shampoo and conditioner. His favorite.

His. But not. Not really his.

Everything was sparkling when he was finally done cleaning.

The bed had already been make, the bedding washed. The blankets are thick and insulating. He could fall to sleep and never wake up. For a moment, he was tempted to. He was tired. So tired.

He cleans, cleans, cleans, and then he falls into a deep, deep sleep. He doesn’t even dream.

–

“Hey, morning. I, uh, thought you might be hungry, so…” Hinata was rubbing at the back of his neck, and he offered the tray like it was an olive branch. Everything on it is to his tastes. And after eating emergency rations for so long, it was sure to taste so heavenly he would end up in tears. “I…figured you wanted to stay in your room, but…”

“Thank you,” Servant said, nodding, taking the tray and then shutting the door. He didn’t wait until he hears Hinata leave before he sends a prayer to start eating.

He did end up crying. Because the food really is that good. But despite that, he doesn’t feel anything emotionally. His eyes just feel irritated from the tears. He supposed he’s irritated, then.

Servant doesn’t really think past that.

–

Servant also enjoyed a quiet lunch and dinner in Komaeda Nagito’s room. In the vanity, he was sure Komaeda Nagito was glaring at him again.

He doesn’t really think past that, either.

–

Sometimes, one of them knocks on his door. Whether they were polite like Sonia, crasser like Souda, or curt like Kuzuryuu, he refuses to answer if they’re not Hinata. Even the Imposter’s calmer, more careful greetings and mutterings—they talked quite a bit about this person named Mitarai also living there and Servant really, really didn’t care so he tuned it all out—deigned no response.

Owari would’ve kicked down his door had Nidai not stopped her. Mioda would’ve done the same if not for Koizumi.

He should consider himself very, very lucky.

Hinata apologized to him later, for everyone else.

“I’ll tell them to leave you alone,” he said quietly, and then laughs mirthlessly. “This, uh, probably isn’t helping you. They’re just…hounding you. I’ll get them to knock it off, so…take your time, alright, Nagito?”

“Not Nagito,” Servant huffed. Unsurprisingly, even if it was through the door, Hinata heard him. Hinata just sighed.

“Nagito,” he stressed, almost childishly. Then, quieter, “I’ll still be checking up on you. Maybe, if they can behave, some of the others can check on you, too.”

“You sound like a disgruntled preschool teacher,” Servant couldn’t help but remark. “Must be stressful.”

“It is.” Hinata didn’t even hesitate. “But…it is…what it is.”

Servant didn’t say anything then, even to return Hinata’s regards as the other wished him well before leaving. Instead, Servant curled in on himself, and once again shut his eyes tight.

–

Quiet breakfast. Quiet lunch. Quiet dinner.

The unfamiliar book he picked out already has a bookmark with a pressed five-leaf clover in it. He stared at it for a long time before he slams the book shut and returns it to its place on the shelf.

Another quiet breakfast. Another quiet lunch. Another quiet dinner.

He slept. He dreamed. He wakes with a jolt when he hears her.

“…Komaeda-san…”

–

Another knock. Another, another, another.

Covering his head with the pillow does little to block it out.

“K-Komaeda-san…” A pause. Firmer, “Komaeda-san… I… I know you can hear me…”

“Why are you being so shyyyy, Komaeda-san?”

“I-I know you can hear me!”

Servant slipped out of the bed, and then opens the door. Under his glare, Tsumiki froze up and faltered. She shivered, dropping her gaze. Servant’s stare narrows at this.

And then, politely, bitingly, he smiled.

“What is it, Tsumiki-san?”

“…I… I wanted to…check up on you…” Tsumiki hesitated, and then, softly, bitterly, she laughed. She almost sounded tearful. “H-Hinata-san…is going to be…so…so upset if he finds out about this, but…”

“But what, Tsumiki-san?”

“Y-You being locked in your room all day…isn’t…good for you, especially when…you still don’t remember, right?” she asked, softly, biting her tongue and lower lip. She fidgets with her fingers. They’re not bandaged. There are countless scars from burns and bruises on her arms and wrists.

“You’re such a kind person, Tsumiki-san, worrying about someone like me,” Servant said sweetly. She flinched. “That said, I’m sure you’re aware of what I do remember. So, really, isn’t this little cabin visit more harmful than helpful, Tsumiki-san?”

“I-I’m not trying to…” She stumbled on the words. Her eyes glimmer. “I-I know… I know I’m the last person you want to see, but…!” She shook her head. “Hinata-san…worries so much about you…that he talks to me about you anyway…”

“Yep, that sounds like him,” he replied cheerfully. “That Hinata-kun really is such a worrier, isn’t he? Isn’t he wonderful? Even without remembering him at all, I just can’t help but fall in love aaaaaaaall over again!”

Another flinch. Then, a flicker of dark irritation across her sharpened gaze, some gritting of her teeth, and then—

“I’m nothing special, and I’m definitely not the kind of person that others care for or fall in love with. You’ve told me as much, Tsumiki-san.” It was funny how the words cut through that irritation and Tsumiki actually looks stricken. “And yet, Hinata-kun…”

Tsumiki’s features twist, and then, softly, she says, “Hinata-san loves you. He…loves you. So much so that…if he saw me here… He’d get…v-very upset…”

“So, I suppose I should cut to the chase, then, and ask—why are you here, Tsumiki-san?” His grip on the door knob tightened. “The only reason I haven’t screamed yet is because I’m so very curious as to why that is.”

“I-I… I don’t…have a good answer… P-Please don’t scream…” It’s funny how she begs, how she looks close to tears. Before, she would’ve been laughing and goading him on. “I-I just thought… I’d…talk to you because… Komaeda-san… I-I want to help…”

“I believe you,” he answered honestly. “That doesn’t make seeing you any less unsettling and uncomfortable. You should have known that’d be the case. This is far too careless of a move for a nurse to make, Tsumiki-san.”

She flinched again.

“I’m not going to tell Hinata-kun about this, but I still want you to leave.” His lips twist, twitch, but he doesn’t smile nor frown. “If you stay here, I’ll definitely end up sick.”

“O-Oh… I see…”

Then leave already.

“S-Sorry… So…” She hiccups, and then, “I-I’m sorry…”

Leave, leave, leave…!

“U-Um… Um… R-Right… I-I… I was thinking…” She wipes at her tears, breath hitching, and then, “Y-Your memory…”

I don’t care, just go away!

“Hmm?” His head tilted to the side, smile widening. “What of it?”

“K-Komaeda-san…not you but… Komaeda-san, he…made videos… They’re…probably in Hinata-san’s cabin… Um… If you see them, it might…jolt your memory…”

Servant blinked once. Twice.

“…Oh. I see.”

Tsumiki furiously nodded.

“…Thank you, Tsumiki-san, for telling me this.”

“Ah, n-no, it’s…nothing—”

He slams the door in her face before she can even really finish. He hears her cry out and perhaps she even started crying but, by then, he really couldn’t be bothered to care even the slightest.

–

It wa late. He couldn’t sleep at all. Hinata’s cabin door wasn’t locked. Moonlight filters through the blinds on the windows. Hinata slept gracelessly and restlessly. He supposed he should be grateful he was so used to navigating through the dark.

Hinata tossed and turned with a groan, but his slumber was a deep one. The way moonlight filters through the curtains, catching on his defined jaw, defined body. If he weren’t so squirmy, he’d be quite the sublime, stunning sight.

The video player was on Hinata’s desk, as are some videos. It’d be some ridiculous coincidence if these were the videos Tsumiki mentioned. Which meant, of course, that they had to be.

“Mmgh…” Another shift. Servant gathered up the videos and the player. “Nn…”

Despite himself, he didn’t leave immediately. Instead, he paused for a moment and then carefully brushes back Hinata’s fringe. Hinata would need another haircut, soon.

Hinata had such a troubled face. What an aching sight.

“…I’m sorry, Hinata-kun…”

He couldn’t do much else besides leave.

–

It was still late. He still couldn’t sleep.

In the darkness, the light of the screen is especially bright, especially with the shots of a clear, vibrantly blue island sky.

“Jabberwock Island, a paradise of everlasting summer, flourishing with beauty. It’s no wonder that once upon a time, this place was a fabulous resort.” A pause, and then a laugh. “And now it’s the base of a former terrorist organization! It’s still beautiful though, even with that ugly description, isn’t it?”

This…was definitely his voice. At that moment, that was all Servant could think.

And now the camera was fixated on the gulls, squawking and gathering around on the beach. A giggle. His giggle. Komaeda Nagito’s giggle.

“Even under these circumstances, they flourish. Isn’t that a beautiful thing? Hmm. Come to think of it, I wonder where Tanaka-kun is…”

“HARK FEATHERED BEASTS OF MAR!!!”

“Ah. There he—”

And then a seagull flew into the camera, making the video cut out as Komaeda Nagito yelped. Static.

When the camera regained itself, it showed a shot of the trees.

“…Ah! How lucky…! It’s working again!” Another pause. “Oh… But… The smell of this air…”

Clouds were rumbling, and then, a drop of water splattered onto the camera from above.

“Oh, no.”

It quickly switched to the inside of some kind of lodge, all while rain and crashing thunder could be heard.

“…Even in paradise, there are storms…” Komaeda Nagito turned the camera to face the window, where outside, it poured and poured. “Mm, but I think there is beauty to this as well.”

A flash of lightning burst in a blinding white crack through the sky itself before disappearing as though it were never there.

“I don’t care for the loud crashing sounds…” It was clear that the camera is shaking. “But I find the sight to be beautiful. Beauty can come in all different ways, be it despairing…or hopeful. Sometimes both. Sometimes neither.”

“Nagito, why are you still messing with that camera?” Hinata said from out of shot. “Come here, let’s get you dried off.”

“Ehehe. Coming, Hajime-kun.”

And so on.

And so this…was the kind of person Komaeda Nagito had been. The kind of person Servant had and hadn’t been.

And there was still more, of course.

“On quiet summer nights, even the stars whisper to one another. Their secrets are long lost by the time they reach us, leaving behind mere twinkles of a conversation.” A hum. “I don’t know if that makes much sense, haha!”

Laughter. Several of his former classmates seemed to be having the time of their lives running around and splashing one another on the beach as the camera scanned the area.

“Summer passes and one remembers their exuberance.” A pause. A laugh. “Of course, it’s always summery here, so… I guess that quote doesn’t apply in the slightest, haha.”

“How long are you going to be shooting that video you weirdo?!”

“Ah, ah, don’t mind me, Saionji-san!”

“Yo, Komaeda, try to get my good side!”

“Um… If I can, Souda-kun…”

“KoMAEda!!!” Nidai’s shout was so booming it caused Komaeda Nagito to jump and for the video to once again cut out.

Once again, the camera ends up fixated on a vast, starry sky.

“I know I’ve already recorded, this, but…” Komaeda Nagito takes in a deep, admiring breath. “I just…really love deep, contemplative summer nights, especially when the stars are out like this.”

He always had loved those nights, loved these summer stars.

Komaeda Nagito admires this sky for a while. Quite a while. Somehow, he was not bored with it. If anything, he was almost disappointed when the scene changes to that of a dark hallway that Komaeda Nagito seemed to be navigating. Barely anything can be seen in the fuzzy sight of the camera, and already he misses the stars.

But then, Komaeda Nagito began to whisper.

“We might have one of the rarest opportunities here, if he’s still up. My fingers are crossed! Ahhh, but, he surely hears how hard my heart is pounding…”

Komaeda Nagito turns into an office room of sorts. Komaeda Nagito sucked in his breath. As for himself, his breath caught when he realizes what he was seeing.

The room was slightly illuminated, and Komaeda Nagito’s giddiness is almost palpable as the camera focuses on Hinata sifting through papers on the desk.

Except, it wasn’t really Hinata.

His long dark hair was tied back, but with enough fringe that the scarring was still covered up. The crimson in his focused gaze was piercing, and yet, Komaeda Nagito whispered excitedly.

“And here our fortune has brought us the elusive sight of Kamukura Izuru at work…!” A sigh, and then, “He really is something else! Such presence! It gives me chills even when all he’s doing is staring at a wall! To see him actually focused on something is simply…!”

Kamukura Izuru glanced at the screen.

“Nagito,” he said, and he did, in fact, shiver. Komaeda Nagito also shivered, he’s sure, as Kamukura turns to fully face him. His gaze was showed no signs of emotion, and yet, the words were soft, careful. “What are you doing, Nagito?”

“A-Ah, Izuru-kun…” Stammering. “This is just…my…”

“If there is anyone who should be getting filmed,” Kamukura went on. “It should be you.”

And then he stood, and it went by in such a rushed blur as Komaeda Nagito cried out, “I-Izuru-kun, no…!”

Fumbling, gasping, and then Komaeda Nagito is finally shown, covering his face. Even in the low light, it was easy to tell those fair features were flushed a glowing scarlet.

“Ah, the elusive, sheepish Komaeda Nagito…” Kamukura sounded almost admiring, definitely fond. He can’t help but swallow at that, especially as the other went on. “Nagito, it is a shame to hide such a pleasant sight.”

“N-Noooo, Izuru-kun…” Komaeda Nagito whines.

“Ah, I will stop, then. I apologize.” Kamukura didn’t sound that sorry.

“Uuuuu…”

The video once again cuts away.

This time, however, when the video returns, Komaeda Nagito had set it up so that he was in the shot. His smile is like the ones in the pictures, even as he had his tongue stuck out in concentration as he fiddled with the camera.

“Ah, here we go! Despite a lot of setbacks, this video is recording!” He smiled even brighter. “I really am so lucky!!”

…It was uncanny. It was definitely uncanny.

“The others are a little confused as to why I keep bothering with this camera,” Komaeda Nagito went on. “Even though the reason is so simple, isn’t it? I’m making memories, precious memories! Ones that I won’t even forget even if my brain rots all the way!”

He blinked once. Twice.

“Hajime-kun, you’re watching this, aren’t you? Or maybe it’s Izuru-kun?” Komaeda Nagito looked positively radiant. “Ehehe, that’s really embarrassing, but… It does make me really happy.”

He couldn’t help but shiver.

“Whichever one it is, all the same, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. If I’m not allowed to forget, then you aren’t, either. I’ll be making more of these, you know.” Komaeda Nagito gave a mischievous wink. “And I’ll be leaving this same message on every one!”

Blink.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you.”

Shiver.

“Till next time.”

And just like that, the video ended, and shut off.

And yet, Komaeda Nagito remained. His smile was more eerie than anything, gaze shadowy rather than bright as before.

And before he knew it, Servant ran.

–

It’s still dark out. The stars are out. Daybreak was still quite a way away. It was a calm night, with the moon shimmering serenely overhead. The perfect night to quietly read under.

He was banging on Hinata’s unlocked door with his mechanical hand, so hard it was going to dent the wood. Still, it didn’t take long for Hinata to answer, alert, eyes wide with the shadows underneath looking so much darker when as hazel and crimson seemed to bright.

“Nagito…!” He was trembling as Hinata looked him over, and he should feel utterly exposed but—“Nagito…”

Hinata faltered, quieted, and sighed.

“Did you…have a nightmare?”

He managed to shake his head.

“I…see…” Hinata looked stiff, uncomfortable. Wary. But his gaze…was definitely one of a lover’s worry. Because they were lovers. They were lovers. “Nagito, how…are you feeling?”

He wasn’t feeling anything except the raw desperation that comes from sending message after message and not having one message reach anyone.

He grabbed onto Hinata’s shirt collar and yanked. Hinata barely had time to suck in his breath before their lips come crashing together. His arms looped around Hinata’s neck to pull him closer, and Hinata held him steady so that they didn’t end up stumbling over and falling.

These weren’t the giddy yet tentative kisses he’d pressed to Kamukura’s mouth. These aren’t the gentle, passionate kisses he’d seen on movie screens. He was practically wrenching Hinata’s mouth open with his own, tongue storming in to wash over everything.

He had been kissed like this before and always hated it. But this wasn’t like that. They’re lovers. Hinata was his. This was his.

Hinata even kissed him back. They were drowning in each other, they loved each other, they were lovers, lovers, lovers—

And he needed to breathe. So, he pulled back, and then, Hinata pressed a careful hand to his lips to keep him from leaning back in.

It was gentleful, but he flinched like he had been hit.

And, of course, Hinata’s gaze was searching his own. Hinata breathed, lips parted and rosy, but his eyes were downturned.

“I…” He felt shame burn red hot in his cold, pale cheeks. “I…”

Hinata pressed their foreheads together, hand cupping his cheek and stroking over the curve with his thumb.

“…wanna talk about it?” His voice was a little coarse, a little rough. Almost like he had kissed the air out of him.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Dis—

“…C… Can we talk…? Hinata-kun…? I… I want to…”

Hinata smiled at him patiently, comfortingly, and he felt so, so cold and yet…like he would start crying at any moment, too. Hinata tugged him inside. Carefully. So carefully.

–

He was still clinging to Hinata so tightly that it was difficult for Hinata to grab him a bottle of water. But, Hinata carefully pried his arms away, setting him on the edge of the bed, and retrieved that water bottle. And, of course, Hinata noticed the missing player and videos when he does.

Hinata didn’t ask about them. Hinata just unscrewed the cap, and hands him the water to drink. He took the bottle, taking a sip.

“…You still don’t remember, huh?” Hinata asked softly, without judgement but all the same there was dismay to the words. “I… It’s fine. As long as you’re…”

“I…” He choked out. “I’m not…anything. I don’t actually feel like anything.”

“Yeah…?” Hinata’s smile was sad, but it was understanding as well. So understanding that he trembles.

Crossing lines and boundaries…

“…Yes…”

The pleasant feeling of having your own boundary fall to pieces…

“I…”

Hope, despair…

“I’m…”

Joy, anger, misery… I must not be meant to feel any of those things.

He gulped down the water.

Because I’m so—

And, then–

“I’m…disconnected from everything, Hinata-kun,” he finds himself saying. “Nothing about me…even feels real. This body isn’t really mine, my memories are far-off and unreachable, and every moment I see Komaeda Nagito reflected back, that hollowness spreads more and more. This water will…pass right through me.”

“It’s supposed to do that,” Hinata replied softly. Just as quietly, he laughed.

“You know what I mean,” he said mirthlessly, smile twitching. “I… The point remains. When Komaeda Nagito’s memories reawaken, what’ll happen to me? I’ll just…disappear, won’t I? Shouldn’t that be…really, really scary? And yet—shouldn’t I want that to happen? There are so many good memories so wonderful they feel like dreams. I should want them. But, Hinata-kun…”

He shivered, and he reached out with his mechanical hand, gripping the edge of Hinata’s shirt. It was a good thing fabric couldn’t be crushed.

“…Hinata-kun… I still feel…so cold…so…empty… Am I even really a person right now? Everything feels so far away, and like they’re getting further and further away. Or maybe, maybe I’m just close to losing my mind. Maybe I’m just crazy, if this is brain rot, then—” Then, what? What? “What am I here for? What am I living for? I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything. Who am I, Hinata-kun? I’m not Komaeda Nagito nor am I a servant, I just—I just am. But who am I?”

He wasn’t sure who flinched when Hinata grabbed him suddenly, squeezing his shoulders as vibrant hazel and burning crimson met with dull gray-green. Then, it turned out that Hinata was the one quivering, slight as that quivering may have been.

“…You’re Nagito.” He scoffed at that, but Hinata went on. “You’re Nagito. That’s… That’s the name your parents gave you, right? I don’t care who the hell anyone thinks they are, once someone’s given a name, no one can take that away. So, you’re Nagito, Nagito.”

His cold, vapid smile twitched.

“…Okay.” He was so tired. Far too tired to argue it. “Sure… Okay. Whatever. That said, you do know I’m still not…your Nagito, right? I mean, I do love you, but I’m not someone that you lo…”

“You’re wrong.” Hinata cut him off before he could continue. “You’ve got that wrong.”

He blinked once. Twice.

“…Oh?”

“You’re not that Nagito,” Hinata said quietly, firmly, but then squeezes his shoulders. “But you’re a Nagito I love all the same.”

…He didn’t understand. Perhaps he was too stupid to.

“Y-You… You have a bit of a mean streak…but you’re also reserved and soft-spoken. You’re spiteful, but… You’ve got an understated carefulness as well. You act really affectionate, but you don’t really let anyone come that close.” Hinata swallowed. “You sometimes forget about your left hand…but sometimes you seem fixated on the whirring sound the prosthetic makes. There’s a lilt to your voice, a crookedness to your smile—I can’t tell you who you are, exactly, Nagito, but… I know that you’re someone I love.”

“…That’s cheesy,” he said, quietly unimpressed. Hinata just laughed.

“Yeah… Yeah…” But when he smiled, it really did seem to be a fond one. “But… I do understand how you feel…about…not really feeling real…”

Hinata took his hand, kissed his wrist, and guided his fingers through his hair, so that the digits brush against scarred tissue surrounding the crown. Hinata’s smile faltered as he himself stiffened. With his other hand, Hinata squeezed his mechanical left.

“When I woke up, I definitely felt similar to that… Both of us did. Hell, a lot of us did,” he sighed. “Some of us…still can’t bring ourselves to remember the stuff we did… But… Hah. Haha. You never let us forget. We hated you for that, Nagito, but…we loved you for it, too.”

“That’s not me,” he couldn’t help but weakly snap. “I… Even if…that…sounds like me, it’s not…”

“…Yeah…?” Hinata’s faded smile twitched. He firmly nodded.

“…I’m sorry.” Hinata let go of his hands. “I… I do…get it…”

“I believe you.” For some reason, he was whispering now. “I… I do…”

Hinata was the one blinking back at him, frowning and all irritatingly quiet. Suddenly, he sniffled. He does, not Hinata.

“…I’m sorry…” His shoulders quivered. “I’m sorry I don’t remember… I’m really sorry, Hinata-kun.”

The reflection of Komaeda Nagito must be looking on with such disdain. I know I would be.

“It’s alright, because…” Hinata squeezed his shoulder as he had before. “In spite of everything, believe it or not… You’re still you. And that’s…something.”

“Something?” he echoed with bitter humor.

“Something I love,” Hinata amended, and he couldn’t help but laugh and laugh until the tears started to flow. Hinata pulled him close and he clung to him in return.

He wasn’t sure what happens after that. Not…not really. At some point, from fatigue, the lateness of the day, or something else, the two of them must have fallen asleep together.

–

When he woke, it was late in the day, and there was a letter on the floor that had been shoved underneath the door. He couldn’t care less about that, instead focused on the herculean task of wiggling out of Hinata’s firm embrace. Somehow, he manages to free himself.

Just like Komaeda Nagito, Hinata had a red and a green toothbrush. As Komaeda Nagito’s stare bored into him, he brushed his teeth with the green one.

“…You know…” Both he and Komaeda Nagito speak up at the same time, and it was startling. He jumps. But then, he relaxed, and he sighed.

“…We really are…quite lucky, aren’t we…?” He couldn’t help but smile, and so ruefully, Komaeda Nagito smiled back. “Hey… When you come back… Can I…still stay…? I… It’s silly and… I’ve been uncomfortable most of the time I was here, but… I think… I want to stay. So, can I…?”

He paused.

It was not that Komaeda Nagito reflected back at him.

It was…just him.

Just him.

“…of course it is,” he scoffed at himself, shaking his head. “It’s always been just me.”

He rinsed out his mouth, running the brush delicately through his hair a few times. Despite that, he still fiddled with his fringe. It’s not as long as it used to be—but it was still pretty long. Come to think of it, Hinata’s hair was pretty long, even if it wasn’t as long as it used to be.

Perhaps they both need haircuts. Perhaps.

He returns to the room and, somehow, Hinata was still sleeping like a log. He was snoring, but not shifting, and he couldn’t help but snort as he brushed back those dark brown strands. Hinata’s lashes twitch, but he only groaned, nuzzling into the pillow. His snoring resumed, because of course it did.

You really are troublesome, Hinata-kun. As a lover, shouldn’t you be greeting me with a warm good morning? Ah, but I forgive you, because we’re lovers.

…Just kidding.

Hinata had a coffee maker, which he made use of. He didn’t add any sugar, because he didn’t remember Hinata ever adding sugar to his coffee. He stirred it all the same, and Hinata stirred awake.

“Mm… Nagito…?”

“Hinata-kun,” he greeted, bringing him his mug. Uncaring, Hinata took it and drank it almost immediately.

“…Gh.” And then, another swallow. “Guh… Good morning, Nagito.”

“Do you not get burned, Hinata-kun?” he asked curiously. Hinata shook his head. “Ah, I see.”

“Mm…” Hinata gulped down some more. “I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here in the morning.”

“Well, I stayed,” he said. “It seems I’m going to stay for as long as I’m able.”

“Yeah?” Hinata asked, and he of course nodded. Hinata hummed, and then, “If you’re interested, there’s going to be a party later. There’s no occasion. But I could tell the others were preparing one anyway. Mioda’s anything but subtle.”

“Ah, I see…” He couldn’t have been less interested if he tried. “I’d rather just spend my time with the one I love. And the one who loves me.”

Hinata nearly choked, but he couldn’t help but laugh and laugh. Exasperated, Hinata shoots him a look.

“…You’re something else, Nagito.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “I am.”

Smile brightening, head tilting to the side, he couldn’t help but go on.

“I love you, Hinata-kun. Thank you.”

Hinata stiffened, but then he did smile. Despite that exasperation, his smile is warm and sincere.

“I love you too, Nagito, and… You’re welcome.”