#i hope this isn't way off-base and i'm not projecting my illness onto others

[youroldpalsteph]

Ngl I did feel concerned watching Teya in the last vid -- I don't mean this in the backhanded "I'm concerned about your health (as a way to shame you)". I do wonder if her cats being so curious affect her ability to eat? Also she seemed very enthralled by what she was doing.

I regularly experience manic episodes (in the middle of one right now baby, it's the only time I post!!!) and I find I'm so consumed by the "loudness" of my thoughts and impulsive "goal-oriented activity" that I forget to eat (dropped 15lbs /~7kg in the last 3 weeks).

I hope seasonally-appropriate hearty soups and chilis find their way to Father Strange :)

Eta: folks with BP are more likely to be affected by seasonal affective disorder!! Be good to yourselves y'all

are u ok yuor looking rather pallid

i'm a canadian goth. im undergoing my seasonal transformation into a wretched creature who lives in darkness. (will not see the sun until april)

[robintherobiner]

Thoughts, explanations, and all that shit i had while writing my latest oneshot

Stand up comedians do NOT make good kidnappers - Robin_The_Robiner - Batman - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

SO first up the name. Where did it come from? God knows. I started this fic like ages ago, wrote Steph's first section, and then promptly forgot about it for three months only to come back and scribble the rest out. I dont remember how i came up with the name, but i still think its hilarious so,,

Who is Cassowary? This universes Robin, duh! Since Damian was the first, i thought he'd go for a more intimidating bird. These birds have really sharp claws, and leave wounds similar to those of a blade. Huh. Who do we know who is really good with a sword? Exactly 😎

Writing Steph was hard because I don't know her very well, so I may have projected onto her a little bit (hence the excessive death jokes 😅). I hope it came across that Steph is a detective, like Bruce, but that she's doesn't lazer-focus on that stuff like him. Thats why she focuses on describing Junior at first, not the room she's in or the fact she's chained up. She knows these things, but she only brings them up when relevant. What good is wallowing over being chained up when you could be making fun of your kidnapper, huh?

I'm a bit worried that i didn't make it obvious enough that there is time between Steph's and Bruce's sections. Thats why when we finish Steph's third bit, she's shitting on Junior for dressing like the Joker, but then in the final bit, she's aware that it's Tim. The parts aren't happening at the same time, or right after the other. I hope that was obvious, but im not sure.

BRUCE'S BIT!!! I saw a post once saying that Bruce separates his personas very hard, and i really liked that. When he's talking about Batman, it's only referred to as Batman. When he's having more emotional thoughts, it's Bruce. And, of course, when he's dealing with Crystal (who i don't know very well so probably wasn't well written MY BAD YALL), he's Brucie. The guilt is in all of them, though. Fun stuff!

A big part of Stephanie and Bruce's relationship in canon is, from what i can tell, tense because of the way he treated her when he first met her. BUT in this fic, it's a bit lessened because Steph chalks his shittyness to the fact that he recently lost a son. Also, i think in canon a big part of why Bruce refused to get close to Steph was because of how she reminded him of Jason, which obviously isn't a problem in this universe. Bruce and Steph are still tense, but this time she has the eldest kid on her side pretty easily, cuz Damian feels guilt over Tim LOL

The death!! It's not overly explained, but I do have Tim's death all planned out and shit. It's a mix of the Joker Junior scene from Batman Beyond : Return of The Joker, and then also a little bit of canon. Instead of Bruce being out of Gotham, like in the film, it's that they have an argument. Similar to Jason and Garzonas situation, in how Bruce is angry at the thought of his partner killing, but more so using the Boomerang arc from canon (Tim wanting to kill his Dad's murderer)

Junior's mental state is wild. I'm not writing him with any particular mental illness, mostly because I'm not at all knowledgeable enough to portray something correctly. Instead I'm basing him off of Joker Junior's intro scene, and also me during some of my darkest moments! It's not Pit Rage (i don't lie how much the fandom pushes that onto Jason, similar to the Tim-Doesn't-Sleep idea in which it wasn't canon but then it got popular and was made so, i think) and instead just a extremely traumatised 17 year old!

The teaparty scene was put in there because I wanted Tim to have a hobby that he could share with his mom (because god knows everyone hates Janet because they mess up her character and only look at fanon) and that also can be used to show his mental state. Hence, collecting figurines, and playing with them! Yippee! Thanks to my pal Leo over on discord for suggesting this hobby!! (it was originally stuffed animals but I thought Batburger toys would work better)

Damian and Duke both were the first kids, instead of Dick and Barbara. Instead of Batgirl, we have Batkid, and then instead of Oracle, we have Signal. Damian is Shrike, because that is the most common hero name I see for him and I couldn't think of another. I may go back and change it to Nightwing, because I like the meaning of the name, but it would come from Superboy (Jon) instead of Superman in this universe, so maybe it comes later on? Not sure. need to think on that!!

Drake Manor was, in canon, only bought after Jack woke up from the coma. But, i decided to take the fandom route in which the Drakes always lived there, simply because timeline wise it works better for me. Also in canon, Jack doesn't need the wheelchair by the end, but for my fic, he's not out of the coma long enough for that. I also added a fun basement which defo doesn't exist in canon, so just turn a blind eye to that!

If you saw the original post, you'd know that Bruce was supposed to find Steph through a series of taunting clues. I changed my mind though, because I'm not good at clues, mysteries, or cases. So, a gift with the address is sort of dissapointing, but who cares?

Steph's feelings about Tim are sort of iffy. A really popular headcanon is that Jason was Tim's robin, and thats not true. I'm pretty sure Tim just,, didn't care about Jason? Idk exactly how he felt, but whatever. Steph doesn't hate Tim, in this fic, she just sort of hates how he was as Cassowary. Bruce is full of guilt and won't say a bad word about him, but has plenty of criticism for Steph, which leads to a sort of resentment. He was Cassowary though, so there is also some adoration in her heart. Basically, she switches how she feels about him depending on the situation.

Jack and Robin. In this universe, Jack doesn't know Tim is a superhero. Tim does still take a break, but it's to spend time with his dad after he awakens, not because he's threatened. Dana also (unfortunately) isn't around in this fic, so Jack has more time to spend with Tim. It's sort of a win-lose situation though. More time with Tim so they get closer, but without Dana to calm him, Jack's little bouts of fury are stronger (remember how he fucking ripped out a TV??) so their relationship is more strained, which is why Tim does go back to being Cassowary, just for a bit, before his dad dies.

Hints are sprinkled in Steph's bits that tell on Tim's identity. Not many, because I'm really bad at hints and subtlety, but there are a few. Mentions of shock burns (the electrocution duh), Zesti instead of tea (which is Tim's canon favourite drink, not coffee!!), and his wish that Steph stops being a hero.

Tims motivations are a reverse of Jasons canon ones. Jason forgives Bruce for not saving him, but is mad he wasn't avenged. Tim forgives Bruce for not avenging him, but is mad he wasn't saved. Aint that fun? Thats why instead of beating her up, Tim kidnaps Steph for three days to resemble the three weeks he was held captive before he died. Yippee, allegories! (i think that word isn't right, but i can't think of the right one??!! english is HARD)

WOW i had a lot of thoughts and explanations and shit for that oneshot, huh? 🤭

[dent-de-leon]

You can give an opinion without being an arsehole, mate. Also, I just read that 'broganes' was headcanoned by an Asian, so are they racist too? I'm not 'trying to win an argument', I'm genuinely confused. I've searched for it on here, but I can only find people arguing against it being racist. Most people I've seen who think of them as siblings isn't because they 'look similar' (which they don't), but because of how they act.

Okay, let’s break this down. First off, I know who the first person that came up with the bro/ganes headcanon was. I’ve been in this fandom a long time, practically since the show aired, and I honestly have a better understanding of fandom trends than a lot of other people since I saw it all firsthand right from the beginning. So, again–I know who the first person that came up with the term was. Yes, they were Asian. And I also know that it was 1) intended to be a “fun AU” for them based off their own personal experiences with their sibling, that they based it off that, and 2) it was meant to be an AU, not canon–which is how many antis took it–and it was also never meant to bash other ships or trivialize Shiro and Keith’s relationship. 

It was a fun personal project for them, and it wasn’t meant to be used as a tool to harass others. Guess what happened anyway. Just guess. Bro/ganes might have started out as something innocuous and innocent, but antis clung to it and things very quickly went off the rails. And just because some Asian fans liked the idea, you literally cannot change the fact that I’ve heard multiple others express their concerns on just why the subject was so upsetting for them. You cannot separate this term from the inherently racist connotations built up and emphasized by antis over the years. You cannot. The person who invented bro/ganes didn’t mean for it to get out of hand and be used by antis to hurt others like that, so please don’t try to play them like some kind of trump card or drag their name through the mud. 

And if you want to see firsthand just how detrimental bro/ganes is, Barlee very innocently posted an artwork of Shiro and Keith calling them “bros.” Antis went wild over it, and she then deleted the comments. People were like, “hey, why’d she delete the comments?” And antis started making up bullshit like, “oh, she probably did it because evil shaladins were bothering her, because they were upset about bro/gans!!” And then Barlee literally made a post saying that, actually, she deleted it because she didn’t want antis harassing shaladins and running away with the whole bro/ganes bullshit like they literally always do. When you have fans literally harassing the staff over this nonsense, it’s gone too fucking far:

Copying and pasting a brief history of bro/ganes here from my other post in case you didn’t see it:

I’m not sure how many of you were around for this, but I was here well before season 2. And the bro/ganes crap absolutely predates that (BOM) line. By a lot. I’m talking like practically the beginning. They’ve literally always been like this. Hunk saying the other paladins are his brothers convieniently never gets mentioned, but antis zeroed in on that one out of context line, because that’s how they are. They were ready for any scrap that they could wave in our faces and scream about like children somehow “proving” their nonexistent point.

And if you’re saying there’s weight to the line with Keith and Shiro, then you must also acknowledge there was considerable weight to Allura’s words when she called Keith and the other paladins her family. That was a heavy scene, there’s no way around it. It’s even followed by this embrace and words of affirmation. And yet, how interesting antis fixated on one scene with Keith and found family but not the other.

The facts are these–antis have always been uncomfortable with Shiro and Keith being so close. Because the easy intimacy there felt very tangible and real. Because it wasn’t k/l. I was there when the first trailer for season 2 came out, the one with Shiro calling out for Keith at the end. The one where Shiro tells Keith to lead Voltron. Do you know what antis were saying at the time? They were pissed that Keith and Shiro were so close and it would be a “sheith season.” We’re talking before this thing even aired. How dare Keith care so much about Shiro. Where was Lance? The nerve. 

People literally said they hoped Shiro would die because then sheith could never happen. I can’t even begin describe the very visceral hatred that people had for his character at this time–because Keith had the audacity to careabout Shiro, and it drove them fucking wild. As part of some mass delusion, people arbitrarily claimed it would be a “choice” between Lance or Shiro dying–because Lan/gst and everything must be about Lance. And there were posts and posts of people saying that they would throw Shiro off a cliff for Lance’s sake in a heartbeat and how if it’s between them they hope Shiro gets killed. 

People kept trying to rationalize it by insisting the only canonically mentally ill character needed to die because he was too traumatized to lead, because he wasn’t good enough for the team. He had to step down and give Lance his time. It wasn’t until antis had that one out of context BOM line to latch onto that they finally breathed a sigh of relief and went, “look, look bro/ganes is canon!!! We’re safe!!!” And suddenly no one said he had to die right away. In their mind, sheith was “dead,” and that was just as good as killing Shiro. It’s pretty sick. 

The bottom line is this–people have always hated sheith’s relationship and have been frantically looking for ways to undermine it. Bro/ganes–even right at the start–very quickly turned into fans going all conspiracy theory, making very racist assumptions without any evidence to back it up. “They look similar, they must be related!” “Keith’s last name in GoLion was Kogane, which sounds like Shirogane!! So they’re related!!” Is that how last names work? No, not in the fucking least. Did they neglect to mention Lance’s was Kurogane? Absolutely. 

Anyway, moving on–“They’re both Asian, so obviously, they’re brothers!! That’s why they’re so close, it all makes sense!!” You know what else is pretty upsetting to me? That you have tons of teenage girls fetishizing the k/l rivalry–because someone harassing another guy is apparently hot–but then immediately showing disgust when you have two guys actually expressing mutual love and support. 

The fact is, they used bro/ganes as an excuse to make Shiro and Keith’s relationship more “palatable” because they were personally uncomfortable seeing two guys so close, so obviously open and affectionate. And not in a way that was ever staged as fan service, not in a way with juvenile love/hate “sexual tension” played up to titillate an outside audience. Instead, Shiro and Keith’s interactions are very much heartfelt and organic. Interesting how apparently more guys like she/ith than k/l. 

Anyway, the most striking thing of all here is you keep saying I’m giving shallow reasons and that “it’s just racist because I say so,” like…you’re literally missing the entire point here, which is that, it doesn’t fucking matter what I think. This isn’t about you winning an argument with me. I cannot and I can never decide what’s racist to actual Asian fans, this is about their feelings on the matter, not mine. And if you don’t acknowledge that this is a term that’s been steeped in racist connotations and used to harass others for months and months now, then I literally don’t know what to tell you. Also, “You can give your opinions without being an asshole.” You already called me a dick, mate. You don’t have to pretend to be polite now, it’s okay. 

This isn’t an issue I’ll ever budge on, so I really don’t know what you’re expecting here. But it’s not about me, it’s never been about me and my feelings. You can open up and listen to others who are personally affected by the matter. Please understand these are my final thoughts on the subject, and nothing you can say will change it for me. 

[themoonsend]

4 + 37!

ooo i wasnt actually expecting anyone to ask!! this is exciting!!

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

okay so i actually have a google doc of all my fic ideas are so far I have 7 that sorta have a plot. my personally favourite of the bunch is this ballet nobleflower au where narcissa is a ballerina and one of the best of the company. one of the set designers for her current production is alice. and cue gay ballerina narcissa. kinda debating having it be this messy thing where. yes, alice loves narcissa. she is passionate and determined and so, so beautiful. but she doesn't like narcissa. like they fall in love during one production, but during narcissas next production she suffers her ballet breakdown. as i like to call it. honestly its really just a major guilty pleasure fic for me because i love writing nobleflower and ballet is something really important for me so i don't know if it would see the light of day.

37. Talk about your current wips.

im gonna talk about indelible scars because its my baby even tho I technically have another wip that I should probably address soon. but anyways. in the least spoiler-y way possible im really excited for the future of all the characters. im a very big planner when it comes to writing- I rarely go in with no idea of what I want to do and this au isn't an exception. summer 1 and summer 3 are both basically fully planned and summer 2 is halfway planned now that I have decided on some character roles. i also have ideas for summer 4 and 5. but currently I just am enjoying writing the dynamic of lily and james. so. much. smart, easily annoyed girl with her golden retriever sorta friend but also enemy is a fav of mine.

now here's where ill get a little spoiler-y so feel free to not read!!

questions are from here!

lily specifically is a character i love so much in this fic. i project onto her a lot. and james too. but lily has a lot of this "you could always be better" feeling about herself. after all her mom is athena. and the way Im choosing to write athena is based off how she treated annabeth, esp in hoo. even tho i wont be writing a hoo version with the marauders, i want to include reference to it within my fic. some of its just coming in the form of lilys mommy issues. she wont ever really gain athenas approval. but that's not the point of lilys story. i don't want to use lily to spread some message of "hey burn yourself out to the point you're not even living so long as you please your parents". lilys development throughout the fic is based on herself. losing this feeling that she is nothing if she isn't the smartest in the room. that all lily needs to be for anyone is herself.

other than my lily rant, spoiler-y info is that while best friend rick was writing for kids, I am not. I'm writing for ao3, this means I can be a lil silly. a little goofy. if you will. anyways live, laugh, love hope lupin.