#i hope this doesn’t sound like pretentious/mean or anything :(

[pastriibunz]

hey uh this might be out of nowhere but there's a server for hatchetblr lolzies

Oh I think I’ve seen that!

Idk if I wanna join it rn thooo

cause like I don’t really like doin discord servers with internet people

it’s just like a personal safety thing for me

I’ve heard the disc horror stories lol

I’d totally love to join it one day, tho :3

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 13: First Impressions

Woo! DRDT! It is time! Time for despair! Let’s go! My excitement has not faded in the slightest from last week; if anything, it’s stronger than before. Here are my first impressions of this week’s episode!!!

Spoilers for CH2 EP13

CW Suicide, violent murder, mafia mention, suicide, hanging, self-harm.

It’s starting! Levi’s got some explaining to do. Will someone (say, Eden) have an interesting reaction?

Alright, J’s not the one I expected to have first reaction, but cool.

“You…” Is Ace okay? 

“Ah. I didn’t expect that.” Rose’s legendary reaction.

YOU CANNOT “THAT’S WACK” THIS SITUATION WHIT

Oh, so people know, but the court struck it. Interesting.

Ah, there’s the Ace reaction. Also, “no way Hope’s Peak scouted a murderer” but you have a poisoner on another secret and an art forger, at least. Not the same level maybe, but still. 

“Don’t make the mistake of switching cause and effect.” Of course Hope’s Peak is responsible, that was my first gut instinct. God, it’s so shady in this universe.

Woo, Levi backstory! Three “old enemies?”

… Bro??? I don’t think any of us actually expected more than one murder, but I might be wrong on that. Self-defense, then two first degrees, huh?

“Were you in the mafia or something?” Thanks J.

“I don’t think I need to elaborate” No, you do. You really should elaborate. Please? For me?

“Who did you even kill?” And… Levi!Accomplice is looking rougher by the second. Then again, maybe she didn’t know.

Levi tracked two of them down, but doesn’t know who they were? How?

“That car I blew up once?” HUH???

“That’s… kind of a lot to admit all of the sudden.” True, Rose. I’m trying to see what he’s cooking, but I can’t tell.

How do you forget this? Jeez.

“How could you forget?” You know, Arturo, I was kinda irrationally worried Charles was about to throw in his secret phrase, but it’s cool that you avoided that. Thanks.

[For the uninformed; it’s theorized the characters will, at some point in the series, say the quotes hidden in the source code of their dedicated pages out loud, since Min and Arei both said theirs, and Xander’s could be in a flashback. That means that if a character says their secret quotes, their chances of dying go up drastically.]

“If you don’t care about murder, you could be the murderer.” (Paraphrased) Yes thanks Veronika not the point. 

“Almost as if you don’t care…” Great. I didn’t know where Levi was going with this, now I don’t know where Veronika is going with her schtick.

I’m surprised Ace is taking it relatively well [as in, not outwardly terrified]. I guess near death does that to someone.

Woo! Time frame! Junior high school! 

Interesting, so he didn’t start fashion because of the murder. That’s kinda what I was thinking, but I was wrong.

We’re getting our first crumbs of Hope’s Peak being ultra shady in main series! After Rose’s backstory ig. Unfortunately the “pretentious revolutionaries” aren’t here to “hand out tickets of lead” ← LGI brainrot

“It could also refer to the time I murdered my father.”

… 

???????????????????????????

You didn’t lead with that?! Also, what?! I laughed out loud at the fucking absurdity of the statement, but what?!

“It’s a bit of a bother.” The bothersome part is that they’re phrased vaguely and not that they reveal you’re a murderer, got it.

“Go back!” Thank you J.

What do you mean I think. Bro how many people have you killed? What in the name of Kirisaki Shidou [/ref]?

“Not even the police cared about a man like him.” ??? Also, wasn’t your dad a bad influence? You’ve mentioned him before, it didn’t sound that bad- Wait, is he lying? No way he’s lying. Hold on, let me watch more.

[In retrospect, I doubt he’s lying, but his story is certainly weird]

“I see no reason to remain hung up-” Then why are you bringing it up. I still can’t fucking tell what you’re trying to accomplish here.

Eden’s reaction is… neutral, I guess? Makes sense either way?

Eden!Culprit has always been hard to maintain during the trial, huh… Still took the tape though. And I guess it’s potentially interesting she’s getting this much dialogue about Levi’s thing. Teruko’s yet to speak this episode.

“I wonder if I should really tell the truth…” Bro what do you mean there’s more truth to tell?

Oh, hey, speaking of Teruko. And it seems she and I share a mind.

“I don’t care about people at all.” Ooooh, I like this. Some kind of condition?

I feel a little bit like Veronika, interested in hearing his experience with this. Feeling like Veronika is probably a bad thing.

“You’re still a stranger to me.” Levi’s quickly climbing the ranks of fave characters, btw. This is super interesting.

“But you’re a good person-” DO NOT “good person” right now, Eden! That’s a point to Levi!Accomplice, maybe? Maybe not? I don’t know what’s happening. And I still don’t get what Levi is trying to do here.

Double “good person?” Bro what is happening.

“I don’t personally care what happens to Ace.” Mood (that’s a joke I like Ace).

PFT- Ace’s reaction lol.

“But it is “good” to make sure someone else doesn’t die-” Goodbye Levi!Accomplice! I liked you, but I’m probably gonna go try to find other theories after this episode :p (This is a joke, btw; if I didn’t discount theories like Hu!Culprit when the new alibis came up, I’m not going to completely abandon Levi!Accomplice over this. But, just saying, there might be a few revisions to be made)

“Haha. You…” Ace breakdown! Breakdown! (I'm absolutely acting like Veronika now).

“I was right all along.” Yeah, Ace ‘can tell a hawk from a handsaw’ Markey, nice one. (Does anyone even know/remember why I’m referencing that line or is LGI too far in the past for that?)

New Ace sprite! Cool one too. Clutching his heart, Acevi shippers eating ig. 

“Good thing I didn’t fall for it. Not one bit.” Oh they’re eating GOOD good!

“There’s only one person in my whole life who I’ve ever been able to call my friend-” IS THAT A FUCKING TAYLOR REFERENCE?!?!?! Holy shit, I don’t know how many people are even gonna remember we have a canon name for that dude. I hope someone still has the screenshot of the deleted answer from the CH2 Part 1 Q&A. 

“I really hope you fucking die.” We are active in Trial 2 Part 2, huh? Between Arturo telling him to “shut his whore mouth” and this, Levi’s getting verbally jumped!

“You’re quite the interesting person, Levi” Please Veronika, give me the psychoanalysis.

Dude, that’s three “good person” drops all on Levi. Chat the importance of this phrase may have been slightly overexaggerated by me (then again, the list of “good person” people has yet to grow from last chapter).

“You act like a big pushover because-” This is the psychoanalysis I came to see!

I don’t know if I’d call it “intuitive understanding” but I guess Levi’s not fully wrong about Veronika.

Four “good person.” And that’s not counting Veronika’s “good people.”

Five. Also, this continues to be interesting. Why did Levi bring this up again?

“After looking at David, I thought being honest-” Okay that’s hilarious.

“Try looking in a mirror…” First David line of the episode, right? And it’s a nice one of course.

That’s six cases of “good person” in this chapter alone holy shit. At least it’s David, who still had counts.

“I apologize for this tangent” Then can you please explain why the tangent exists in the first place? Or is it really just because being honest is "good"?

[Spoilers. It really was because of that. What]

“I can’t believe there was a time I liked you.” Yeah Acevi is still eating good. I doubt the hostility is gonna drive the shippers away; that’s what they’re here for, right?

And of course Whit’s first line makes him look suspicious. Bro you have an alibi for the time of disappearance of fish and you didn’t take the tape from the gym, stop pretending to be the killer.

“Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Thank you Hu, but let me jump to a conclusion. Is Levi not gonna explain why he revealed his secret beyond the honesty thing?

Okay J’s response is good too.

“No, [Arei] didn’t [talk to Levi about the secret]” Bro what the fuck are we even talking about anymore.

“I don’t have a defense” (Paraphrased) No but seriously what. I’m this close to ripping out my hair. What is he doing.

“We don’t have evidence [Levi is the murderer]” Thank you Teruko Tawaki for being one of three competent people in the building. This is affectionate, one of my favorite parts of the DRDT cast is that they all suck at class trials lol :p

Bro Whit is trying REALLY HARD to look like the murderer rn. I’m still not letting him convince me. Yet.

“I realized that motives alone are not concrete evidence.” Yayyyy! Progress!

“I feel a sneeze coming on…” Dude David and Teruko need to get into comedy, they’re fucking hilarious.

“One second please.” Hu I trusted you. Why. You’re revealing your secret, right?

“...I didn’t want you all to think less of me.” Aww, poor Hu. No one’s gonna think less of you, you’re doing awesome (I am assuming she has hopeless child btw).

“I wanted to believe the past never happened” Butterfly motif and “water as rebirth” symbolism go brrr. 

“I’ve always been a selfish person, haven’t I?” Hu please, you’re really nice, even if you go overboard at times.

“I will share my secret if you promise to immediately move on.” (Paraphrased) Good idea. It would probably be good to talk about it if she wants, but this is kinda not the time.

“I have Veronika’s secret, and she has mine.” Okay I did NOT expect her to reveal she had Veronika’s, but alright! That’s two more on the board, and two more most of us got right! At least the theorists are doing well on the secrets.

[Veronika agreeing to the pact] Bro what pact, how did you communicate that? Also, “I have such little interest in both of our secrets” is wild, but it makes sense given her personality. Recap foils go brr, I’ll sit down and think about this later.

“My own so-called secret isn’t even the worst thing I’ve done.” Uh…??? It’s just bombshell after bombshell, these episodes!

Oh, we are questioning the pact. I kinda thought they’d managed to do that in the trial, now I’m really curious. Please tell me we aren’t gonna have to ignore that question because of what Hu asked of them.

Shit.

“We’re not gonna talk about me?” Oh, Vero, I would love for them to talk about you, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

“Arei– Achoo!” WHEN I TELL YOU I CACKLED LIKE A MADPERSON HOLY SHIT

“Bless me! Also, excuse me! Wow, thank you for your support everyone!” WAIT IT GOT FUNNIER.

“I have another interruption–” Either it just got even funnier or he’s about to reveal Teruko’s secret and shit got serious, let’s see.

Oh, right. But, dude, I’m relatively sure the last two unclaimed secrets can’t be hers. Maybe the survivor’s guilt one, even though that felt like Xander’s? Are you absolutely certain you don’t have her secret?

“My family.” Figured she’d try that one. [She probably feels it's true to some extent].

Oh, now THAT’S a David sprite alright. Pretty sure that settles it, the most common theories for secrets during hiatus were all correct.

I’m guessing David’s still not gonna reveal it. We still need to see a Teruko teacher CG, and I don’t think we’re gonna have time for that if he brings it up.

“We did it!” Yeah he ain’t revealing shit. 

“Sir Light Pollution” is actually crazy. Do his eyes really emit light like a flashlight? That’d be really fucking funny actually.

Oh, it was actually funny because Whit is a boyfailure. Alright, joke understood. I smiled.

“I am truly impressed… by how bad that was.” And there I laughed!

“I’ve started to detect this trial isn’t about me.” Iconic of you, Sir Attention Whore /affectionate

Thank you J.

Eden bro can we please let Teruko speak. Also you are not helping the culprit allegations miss Tobisa.

“What happened between you and Arei?” Jesus, we really cannot get to the fucking murder, huh? Fair, though, I’m really curious about this too, though I feel we’re gonna skip past it without an answer or David’s just not gonna respond seriously.

“I know that she’s dead and that she’s never coming back.” We’re getting worryingly close to your secret quote wording here, Eden. You sure you wanna go this route?

What are we, on seven “good person”s now?

Oh shit are we actually getting an answer?

YES! YES! YES! LET’S GO! I wasn’t expecting this!

Eight. Though I think this one’s repeated, though I might be wrong.

Yeah, this is old dialogue.

Man, Arei’s and Eden’s VAs did amazing work this episode!

“That makes me feel really relieved.” Lie. She didn’t say that. That’s my gut reaction, anyways, I could be wrong.

“I was pissed at you for a bit.” Oh shit chat David’s not getting cut off. This might actually be true. What the fuck?

Oh, also. Nine. David again.

“There’s not even anything positive…” Okay this hurts a fucking ton. If David’s lying, I want him dead. If this is true, holy shit this is sad.

“A metamorphosis like that…” Jeez this is actually getting sad sad. Auch.

“I’ll never be a good person.” Ten, and the tenth hurts a LOT. I don’t think David’s lying, members of the jury. Holy shit this is sad. 

“It turns out that you might be a total piece of shit…” Holy shit I miss Arei already.

Eleven.

“Like Santa Claus…” Didn’t Charles bring up something like that talking with Teruko in the computer room? Interesting connection. I guess not “all that glitters,” yeah.

“It’s okay that I’ll never be a good person, because no one else can be either.” Okay, first; twelve. Second, ouch.

[I know my commentary's not exactly thrilling. Forgive me, I'm suffering]

“Even Eden.” And what does that mean?

[Eden with blood on her hands CG]

…

HUH????????????????????????????????????????

I can’t- Words- Not working. Hold on, I gotta see what the fuck is happening here.

[Pan to fork]

I’M EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE! WHAT THE FUCK?!

It has four prongs, which matches the Xander one. Did Eden take out Xander’s eye? How in the actual fuck? No chance, right? I’m just going insane?

“I’m sure even Eden has hurt someone” (Paraphrased). Brain is still not working. Sorry.

“Even someone like her must have made a mistake she couldn’t take back” WE ARE GETTING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO SECRET QUOTE WORDING!

We’re just moving on? That shit didn’t happen? I’m fucking sorry?

I can’t even- Does this imply fucking MM!Eden? I don’t think so, she doesn’t look like she wanted to- WAS it Xander she stabbed? Again, how? What? I’m so confused. YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO US DEV! I NEED ANSWERS!!!

“Second ever friend…” Ouch ouch ouch-

Another “good people” btw.

[Arei CG] That’s the fucking- THAT LOOKS LIKE THE FUCKING GIRL FROM LGI?!?!?!

Like, obviously they look different, but that’s the same pose, with the hand and everything- WHAT?!

Is Arei/David a ship? It’ll probably be one after this. 

“Nothing-” You absolute piece of shit. Holy shit David, when I get my hands on you David…

“Nothing else happened between us, I promise.” Wow. Who would’ve thunk this is how I come to fucking despise a man so much while he simultaneously rises in my fave characters ranking, huh? Holy hell.

“One hundred percent promise-” I get more mad every line. That’s good character writing, folks. Jesus.

I can’t read Eden this episode. Still think she’s the culprit lol.

“Finally.” Yeah, Teruko. Same.

[By the way, the next section has a lot of me rambling about my own theories, so if you don't know them, here's a link to the latest, now likely outdated version]

“From that low of height…” I like where we’re going.

“I’m starting to realize how long it's taken to get here.” (Paraphrased) Yeah, Whit. Yeah.

“Some people had to wait one year and five months-” PFFFT- Also Whit’s reaction means he’s not fully fourth wall aware, which is cool.

NON-STOP DEBATE! LET’S DO IT! 

[Sees truth bullet] Yes! The jugs were used as weights! Tell me I’m right about this!

YEAH! I GOT IT RIGHT! Also Veronika’s “consent” animation is… uuh… very ‘Ronika if you catch my drift. I love it!

“Those jugs ended up breaking…” You know it! I wonder if maybe they didn’t have time to clean the fish? But they could have gotten water literally elsewhere, so they clearly did use them for alibi.

“The jugs alone aren’t enough…” (Paraphrased). Yeah, we gotta go higher. Like, the girders at the top…?

“... rafters on the ceiling.” Yeah!!! Wrong name but I also got this right!

“It must have been one long rope…” Or two, because you need the stopper.

“Oh, wait, you’re agreeing with me. Yes.” Funny, laughed.

“The rafters were way too high…” Ball of clothes, come on.

“...something like a pulley…” Yeah, Whit knows what I’m talking about! The fact he’s being helpful makes him less suspicious. Finally, he managed to open his mouth without incriminating himself of something!

“High location…” Are we actually doing stopper rope? My guess is that that’s when we’ll get teacher Teruko.

“In drop hanging…” Okay, first, love the monologue. Second, is there a reason you know so much about drop hanging? Did your mother…? I guess it’s not necessary. I also came to the same conclusions and I don’t have any history with the stuff. 

“We also know she didn’t hit the ground-” Does anyone have a counter of tasteless Whit jokes? Just checking.

“Aren’t I so smart…” And we’re back to kinda incriminating ourselves, because you're denying pulley method. Fantastic.

WOO! ANOTHER NON-STOP! Let me guess, “spinny thing” is the truth bullet?

“Tape on carousel.” Close enough. Although, hold on, are we actually gonna go “stopped with hands?” No chance, right?

Also am I stupid or does Arturo’s VA sound different in the debates?

Yeah btw Levi!Accomplice is dead and buried, I need to find other ways for Eden to have done this.

I like that Teruko still calls it a spinny thing :p

Wow, everyone’s correcting her, huh? I guess I’m the only one that appreciates her smh.

“...when I need to correct the killer’s grammar.” Funny comeback, but you know, the letter does actually have quite a few spelling errors.

Yay! Teacher Teruko! She looks so cute with glasses!

Also I cannot believe it. These Microsoft-Paint ass diagrams remind me of when I did them too lol.

Oh, shit, under the seesaw! That’s a good one, Teruko! I didn’t catch that. (Then again, I always thought the seesaw was in a different place, but oh well).

Is that dog ears Whit? My guy, you know Charles dislikes dogs, right? Then again, you do canonically have negative rizz, so :p

Oh, tying the rope! Not quite a stopper rope, but same concept. Yeah, would work. Good one Teruko!

“The carousel is made of smooth metal.” THAT’S WHAT THE TAPE WAS FOR! Clutch.

Oh shit, is the cliffhanger going to be the tape’s origin?

“I’ve seen this murder method before.” Okay, wait. One, no origin of tape. That’s big for Eden!Culprit: My current guess is that someone (ie Veronika) will want to discuss the Ace-Nico thing, which will lead to them discovering Eden took the tape. Two, what the fuck do you mean you’ve seen this before?!

“You have?” Looking kinda worried there, Eden…

“And so have you.” Okay am I forgetting something? Min’s execution wasn’t like this, what the hell…

“Me?” Eden, honey, the allegations…

“We’re going to talk about a different case…” Oh shit Teruko’s got the Ace method figured out? I would really love to hear that because I have no idea what the hell was happening with that one. Also, I called it! Didn’t expect it to be Teruko who brought us back to the Ace case, but still. 

“Explain yourself, Nico.” YEAH!!!! I’m actually really excited. I’m gonna look into revising my theory on that case before the next episode, see if I can figure it out, since I think the old methods I’ve discussed with others don’t quite line up with what Teru’s describing. 

What an episode!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

General Thoughts:

Holy shit. Just. So much happened. It’s too much peak.

The Eden CG is the first thing on my mind; that’s crazy. Did she really take out Xander’s eye? I have zero idea what else I would be looking at. Certainly not MM!Eden, too obvious, but I don’t know what’s happening there. No fucking idea. I might make a more detailed post when I get my thoughts in order, but all I’m saying; the possibility the girl she kissed was Mai? That Mai told her about Teruko, and Eden attacked Xander in the pre-prologue killing game to protect Teruko? Hmm…

The secrets are huge, too. Nothing wild, given like 75% of the fandom had assumed these secrets anyways, but still nice to get them all. The Levi explanation was fascinating, but I don’t know what the fuck it has to do with the trial. Was it really a pointless aside? I don’t know…

The Arei scene was fucking insane even outside the Eden CG. Stabbed through the heart, haven’t felt that sad since Min’s death, and, yeah…

Not to mention, the fucking “Ideal Country Woman from LGI” looking ass frame. At least I finally got my answer; it was a wrist bend, not a glove. 

And David. David. Why are you like this. I genuinely can’t tell why he does anything anymore.

Finally, I love the Taylor mention, that’s insane. And Veronika has a darker secret? She really wants those MM allegations, huh? Jokes aside, I’m really curious about both those things. I kinda wonder if somehow the students will see the motive videos from Trial 1, since we’re hearing about Taylor and I’m hoping Alyssa later.

Just… Holy shit this episode was awesome. Cannot wait for next week.

First Impression Murder Theory Updates

It’s looking like Levi!Accomplice will end up being a nice AU and nothing more, although I’m not 100% ruling it out. That said, I’m still pretty confident in Eden!Culprit, especially with how we mentioned the tape on the spinny thing was easy to grip, but no one’s made the connection to the gym yet. 

The big thing to solve in the Arei case, then, is how Eden got the fish. There’s a few other accomplices she could have, but those are looking rough unless she somehow got Arei to do it. That said, I’m considering the possibility that she took the minnows ultra early, before Nico started feeding them. That would explain how they didn’t notice there were a few missing the night before; they just never counted the ones in the jugs in the first place. That has issues too, but I’ll see about it. 

That said, I’m pretty happy with myself! I got a lot of the major points of the pulley system right. The only thing is the “stopper rope vs tie a knot” thing, but the principle is similar enough. We’ll see about things like the ball of clothes to put the rope over the rafters. There’s still plenty of murder to discuss. 

As for the Ace case… It’ll need a full review later. If it’s supposed to be similar to Arei’s case, I really have no clue what the hell was happening there. Though I guess the ridiculous wire circuit I made might actually have some merit, given we're doing some kind of pulley?

... Maybe not :p

I have no further insight; I just need to look at it again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Watching this episode took me like two hours and a half while writing this… this almost 4k word post… so… yeah. Gods save me if there actually is an hour long episode left. See ya’!

[brisquad-unit-4402]

technical guide and example scenario to kissing with a tongue piercing

this started as a shitpost style warmup/hc and then spiraled into a fic which spiraled into a style experiment. p much everything is deliberate except for the lowercase because i don’t believe in capitalization on my phone. now here’s a pretentious makeout scene where neither reader nor claude get the big 4k 120fps big picture at all

tags: gender neutral reader, pre-relationship, requited unrequited pining, oral fixation, making out, implied sexual/suggestive content, yeah i guess claude comes across as a sub here idk i didn’t really consider those dynamics much for this fic but if that means something to you then power to you

⚠ claude and reader jokingly call each other whores

⚠ implied piercing kink, hand/mouth play

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

reader: what’s it like to make out with a tongue piercing

claude: huh

good?? question??? he isn’t a prude but he doesn’t kiss and tell either. that shit stays locked up. he’s a private person no matter how much he likes the one asking questions. unfortunately

claude: why do you ask?

but he does like the person asking the questions. regret courses through him the second he says it aloud.

reader: just curious

reader: it’s just a stud so sometimes i forget you have one but when you’re kissing it’s hard to not notice isn’t it

claude: it could be

reader: can you stick your tongue out?

claude: [he does so]

regret! regret! regret! it’s turned to a flood washing over his thoughts. he chides himself. why are you so obedient, claude, why are you so eager to please, and for the love of god quit thinking like that before you get any ideas!

great. now there’s a nasty little thing called hope twisting through his brain and making it feel emptier than usual.

reader: i guess you’d have to be pretty into it to feel it

claude: [closes his mouth.] i guess

reader: so what’s it like?

reader: kissing, i mean

claude: that’s just your lips so it’s whatever

reader: no, dummy, i mean with tongue

claude: it’s just making out

claude: even i forget it’s there

reader: there’s no difference at all?

claude: woah woah woah woah i didn’t say that

reader: so you do notice it?

claude: well i don't but other people do

reader: is it good?

claude: i hope

claude: i mean

claude: well i don't think it's bad and no one's told me it's bad and i'm not bad [he thinks]

claude: so it's probably good. but i wouldn't know

reader: i should have guessed

claude: [a little.] yeah

claude: i mean

claude: yeah

he feels like he went outside in only boxers and got roped into an all-day affair. admitting things is already too much exposure. there’s so much he wants to say but it’ll take up all the space, ruin the mood. true feelings tend to come out clumsy according to claude.

the shred of hope lingers.

claude: i guess

claude: it’s smooth?

claude: because it’s so small?

claude: and the metal is just like that?

reader: [understanding, theorization]

claude: if it was a hoop it would be different

claude: but it’s not

claude: [unelegantly.] so it’s not

reader: i’m going to ask something stupid

claude: [gets a grip.] hey, i’m stupid

reader: no you aren’t

reader: i wonder what it feels like

claude: is this the question

reader: now it is

reader: can i try?

claude: getting a tongue piercing?

reader: no, kissing you

claude: [a brief sound]

claude: me?

reader: yeah

reader: i want to know how it feels

reader: i won’t be weird i promise

reader: and if not that’s cool

reader: i shouldn’t have brought it up i don’t want to make you feel weird or anything

reader: but i’m

reader: really curious

this is a bad time for his mouth to go dry. claude presses his lips together, only to pry them apart after remembering your request. he needs a swift bonk to the head. cold shower. 50,000 years of solitude. fuck he needs to stop thinking about this.

or keep thinking about this. it’s the best chance he’s got. it hurts his heart thinking about it. it’s indulgence. he can’t let himself pretend but he can’t let go of it either

claude: how are we doing this

reader: i guess we could try kissing first

claude: like frenching or

reader: lips first?

claude: oh right right

aaaaaaaaaa.

he feels giddy and heartbroken. and anxious. and it’s over before he really figured it out

claude: wait

why are lips so malleable? why do the tiniest presses make him feel so? so? giddy-heartbroken-anxious-dirty. this is out of order. friends don’t kiss friends with tension like this. but they are now.

reader: we forgot about the piercing

claude: right

reader: i guess that was a warmup. ha-ha

claude: yeah

claude: here goes nothing

reader: you’re such a dork—

he knows. he could always use the reminder. not now though. instead he refamiliarizes himself with lip on lip, slightly ajar, then rising. a gap between for hot breath to escape. the air grazes the slope of his cheek.

reader: mmh—

anxiety and dirtiness outweigh the other two, and the latter more than the former. he’s kissed before. reader has too. it doesn’t have to mean anything. it doesn’t have to mean anything. he repeats the thought but the message gets lost along the way.

claude: —.

reader nips so claude opens more. predictably so. and traitorously fervent. doesn’t mean nothing. his heart begs for some honesty but he can’t speak, mouth’s a little busy at the moment, not a great time to talk about feelings and whatever. he’d like to but, you know, clumsy words

clumsy tongues

the one over the bite, he means; warmth follows the lick at the tip of your tongue and down his throat and straight to his belly

claude:

you make yourself right at home. the breath is interrupted before it grazes his cheek because your hands rest there instead. claude follows your movements, shadowing as you explore, marking the depths before lulling at the entrance

reader: stay still

claude:

reader:

dammit, obedience, like a subservient dog. trembling like one while reader reenters. he nearly forgot the whole reason they were doing this until it prodded at the soft tip of his tongue.

claude: []

he’d nearly ignored the instruction. he tries not to think of it as a command, not while you trail up his tongue. little swirls that set him at ease and on fire. down onto the central. the answer at the top of the stud.

do NOT hit teeth, claude clawmark. do not hit teeth. he knows how it’s done but it’s so over if he messes up with you. fuck, this is wrong. you can’t be this hot and claude is so going to hell after this.

the metal preserves body heat but it tends to feel cooler to unfamiliar tongues. it’s important to be gentle with this. he licks low and languid, beginning a rhythm. simple circles. shouldn’t be difficult for you to predict the bead. god. what is his life

his laps are simple enough to pick up on. you lay your tongue on his in different positions to feel the stud. at this point claude’s done trying to analyze. his notes are minimal: sometimes you’re flat on his and that’s a strange feeling. the tip seems to have no effect on you, but it hits the space usually glossed over because of the metal so that’s exciting. when you press the sensitive side to the stud, you twitch back, and claude’s urge to chase rears its head.

reader: .

the challenge is taken. and now that the rhythm’s established claude speeds up. the sensation helps filter out the thought that this is an error. not on your part, of course, you’re just curious. that’s exactly why he should have denied: this is never going to happen again and he’s never going to admit how tragic that is.

but you nudge the piercing more, and the pressure makes his heart lurch.

he tilts your chin to his in a moment of surrender.

you play him like a damn instrument. his throat is full of lava boiling over with your touch, each hungrier than the last. the shivers just give you more openings to eat him up

claude: [needs to breathe.] hold on

reader: nngh?

claude: gotta

claude: gotta breathe

claude: christ,

claude: you’re shameless

reader: [between kisses at the corner of claude’s mouth.] yeah, i’m the whore here,

reader: said the guy with a tongue piercing

claude: hey since when are tongue piercings a whore thing

reader: since you kissed me like one

he’d been extremely polite, what the hell. at least, polite compared to what he really wants. still. you’re the one kissing me even when we aren’t using tongue, he thinks. the emotion behind it is unrecognizable.

yet you hum with muffled laughter as you kiss him. for not the first time it registers that he likes making you smile, even at his expense

he likes you but that’s never been a revelation.

and he quite likes how this feels when he tells his conscience to shut the hell up already. he takes your hand

reader: [with curiosity. you'd call it unrecognizable too]

thoughtlessly he holds it to his lips

claude: this is what it feels like when you touch it

the piercing, indeed, feels smooth on your fingertips as it rolls by the pads. his tongue lingers not far behind. those fingers twitch at the blend of tongue and lip; one of them sweetly curls at the stud. it’s always been easy to forget that the piercing is there but especially now as the plush of his lips closes. open-mouthed kisses become closed, leaving the true motions of his tongue—and the piercing, and the finger coiled beside it—they're obscured.

reader: [does it matter?]

reader: [Do the stage directions matter?]

claude: [looks up]

he quite likes the sight too

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

[essentiallyleaf]

day 04. blood play. with. heejin.

1587 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, idol x male reader, switch reader, switch heejin, pretentious writer, i don’t know what’s in here, blood play, blades, lots of blood, blood licking, blowjob, blood exchanging kisses, fingering, standing sex, i’m pretty sure this is how you get AIDS, so don’t try this at home, maybe some teeny angst/horror undertones, but that’s your call, writer gets really pretentious towards the end, uncalled for, given that it’s 2am as i write this.

notes.

this took too long i’m going to bed byeee. tiredly, leaf.

“You said you’d teach me how to use scissors one day, ssaem,” she points at the pair you’re holding right now after finishing her shoulder length bob (which looks gorgeous, by the way - i mean, you did your job, it wasn’t your best and far from your worst, Heejin just makes anything look otherworldly when she’s wearing it, with those perfectly fitting gray contacts, nonetheless; the scissors were your first and only pair, you treat them with white gloves, like an athlete treats their shoes, always make sure they’re not getting dull, clean them thoroughly at the end of each day, or whenever you get any downtime, really; you were just cleaning them moments ago as the two of you, left alone in the shop, were having goodbye small talk), and turns from looking at you through your reflection in the mirror to staring directly into your black eyes. “How about today~?”

What you hear in her inflection, and see in her expression as you reciprocate her gaze, is a smile right in the middle of inquisitive and complicit. You hope that it’s just a trick of your brain, that you’re just not very good at interpreting faces, that you simply misunderstood what she was implying, because you must not let what she’s implying happen.

But you have to play it safe. You need to make sure your customer is not offering what you think she’s offering, though when she averts her gray stare from you to your station’s countertop and starts casually playing around with just about any random object she finds on in while still keeping her metallic, cold yet so magnetic aura, you’re already doubting that.

“Heejin,” she doesn’t turn - she doesn’t need to, the ball is in your court. “We can’t. Not here. Not now.”

The more you open your mouth, the more that doubt starts to resemble a certainty. And the fact that she stands up and heads to the front door without picking her black overcoat clearly doesn’t help.

“I’m your last customer today. We have the whole shop for ourselves. For as long. As we. Want.” Heejin locks the door with a loud click. A certainty, you think. Then she walks back towards you and takes the pair of scissors from your hands, the rhythmic sound of her heels hitting the marble floor almost Mesmerically hypnotizing you.

“So, can I practice on you?” She asks with a now much more clear and explicit sultry gaze. Either that, or the hypnosis worked, and you’re now solely responding to her wants and needs. Regardless, the only thing you can think of right now is how her lustful expression fits with her appearance, from the new haircut, down to her cropped black turtleneck and black pants, and how they frame her milky white abs, and those cuts at the sides, showing off her perfect white hips, and how you wanna hold them while- “Fuck it”

You hurriedly sit down on the chair your customer was on mere seconds ago, at your own station, and stay still, eyes to the mirror in front of you. You hate it when the ball is in your court, so you give it back to her. Heejin chuckles. Now she only has to choose whether she wants to see you struggle (needless to say, that’s her element) or she wants to make her own play.

“Well, how do you use these, ssaem?”

The girl steps before your chair and holds the scissors up in front of her delicately-featured white complexion, looking at her own reflection on the blade, trying different angles like she’s taking a selfie. She then opens your scissors at the widest possible angle, the fingers of her right hand wrapping around one end of the edgy surface (“Like this~?”), and brings the opposite end of the blade closer to your face. She plants her knees on each side of your thighs and lifts herself up on the chair, now basically sitting on top of you.

“Do you ever feel like the world is so, black and white?” For the first time, Heejin sounds simultaneously vulnerable and grating, like her metallic coating is rusting, bit by bit. Her gray eyes look shinier now. “How about, we paint it a little red?”

The edge of the scissors draws the underside of your cheekbone, a comma-shaped cut now marks your visage. Drops of scarlet dye present themselves at the opening, a couple of them leaking out and trickling down your cheek. Heejin wastes no time and captures them in her mouth. Then follows up towards the slit, and starts gently licking around it, carefully fetching any ruby bead that was to escape your rift.

It doesn’t hurt. It stings a little, but the sweet sensation of her soft tongue on your skin somehow overpowers that. You notice the girl’s hips started rocking back and forth on your lap slightly, brushing against your dick with each passage. Your hands instinctively hang onto the curve of her hips. As you close your eyes, her grinding gets faster, and with it, your erection harder.

She gets off of you (“You’re not bleeding anymore”) and on her knees, then helps you, rather, you help her, take your pants and boxers off. She’s still gripping those scissors unbelievably tight - how has she not cut her own fingers yet? - like they’re her savior, the one thing that can help her paint the world, and in a way, they are.

“Just a little more~” Heejin traces a short straight line on the inside of her thumb, tastes it for good measure, then coats your shaft with her crimson hue, careful not to miss any spot. Maybe an odd thought to have, given the situation, but you find her concentrated face to be quite endearing.

An endearing face you want to drill, and when she wraps her lips around you, not before she’s had her own couple laps and trips with her sweet, smooth, moist tongue, that you do.

You place your palms around her head and start fucking her skull at frenzied pace. She, on her part, enjoys the combined taste of your precum and her blood. Not that she doesn’t enjoy getting deepthroated by you, just, it’s not an easy thing to appreciate when you’re being pierced through.

You give Heejin a little time to breathe, and she does; she needed it, but somehow she looks more interested in the leftover crimson paint she finds on her thumb, and not wasting any of it (she licks it clean, until she’s sure none will come out anymore, at which point she shows you her now shiny digit with a proud smile). You decide that her efforts deserve a reward.

You help her up, make her lean on the countertop, and gently - finally - take your now ruby-marked scissors from her hands. You look at them for a second. Then look at the girl in the eyes.

“I’m gonna use these, okay?”

You hold her chin up with one hand and draw the tiniest crevice on her lower lip. She looks back at you as you kiss her. Heejin tastes like cherry, no, like wine, like the sweetest fruit on Earth, she tastes like she wants you and who are you to deny her that?

When you retreat from her mouth she immediately comes looking for you.

“One second”

You rid her of her pants and underwear, then lift your hand with your index and middle finger up. You swipe them on her lower lip and make her stare at them as you bring them downwards towards her (lower) slit. She spreads her legs a little to help.

As you insert two digits in her, her eyes roll back into her head. You start pumping blood in her as if you’re her heart, and her heart drums faster and faster for you like the rhythm of your fingers.

Overwhelmed by your stimulation, she completely forgot how your kiss was supposed to resume, so you’re the one finding her mouth for a second time. Once your tongues connect again, she goes back to tasting you, as well as her own crimson-colored dye staining your lips.

It doesn’t take long for her to come. A transparent waterfall, that you notice has a tinge of ruby in it, hits your hand and wrist, and you retreat your digits as she comes down from her peak.

This time, you’re the impatient one and she can’t get a break before you lift her leg and insert yourself into her now flooded pussy. She can’t do anything but scream her lungs out at your overstimulation, just as you can’t help but keep up your ferocious pace as your cock slips so effortlessly in and out of her tightness. You grab one of her perfectly sized tits through her turtleneck, then decide you need to pull it, and her bra up and see those beauties bounce uncontained.

No. You need something more. You notice the girl’s right hand, now open and hanging off the counter, spent, is covered in blood. You knew she was going to hurt herself holding the scissors so tightly. So you take her hand and hold it for a passing moment, then rub it on yours. With your crimson hand, you palm Heejin’s soft boobs and coat them in the same hue. And that’s your cue.

You quickly (and easily) pull out of her, one hand on your dick, one on her hip.

It’s white scrapes on a red fruit.

-

footnotes.

i know the ending is probably not everyone’s cup of tea. which is a terrible euphemism to say that it sucks. but i wanted to experiment. and to be completely honest, i was running out of time, so if you think it’s rushed, that’s factually true. hopefully i can learn from this. learn what, i haven’t the faintest. hurriedly, leaf.

[cows-wearing-my-sweater]

acolyte

"what could be worse than having nothing to depend on? / we used to be friends"

word count: 1272 warnings: lots of angst lol notes: i have written a fic in months but !! hi again !! missed posting these a lot <3

There’s something inexplicable about him.

Matty’s hands move up and down the frets of his guitar easily. You curse the fact that your eyes are drawn to him with the same level of ease. Two dark curls droop over Matty’s forehead as he plays, eyes nearly shut and lips parted almost imperceptibly. You see it, though. The song he’s playing isn’t one you can name, but you recognize it. It feels like a song you heard last summer, like maybe if you could drink his melody you would remember it again. 

You hate the label “friends with benefits,” mostly because it feels far too simple for the situation you’re in. “Friends with benefits” makes you feel like you’re just a quick fuck for someone who can tolerate you – surely that’s not what you are to Matty. No, this is different. It’s slow with him. There’s purpose and contemplation behind every deliberate kiss he places on your body, he takes his time coaxing noises out of you when you’re straddling his lap and hungry for everything you know he’s capable of. You want — rather, need — this to be something more. 

Typically, you can deal with Matty on bad days. “Bad” meaning days where he incessantly (albeit accidentally) reminds you of the nature of your relationship: fleeting moments of passion and a lack of commitment. You received a text earlier in the morning asking you to come over. Not for sex, not for the aforementioned passion, but just to exist near each other for a while. Ever since the beginning of your hookups with him, normal platonic hangouts had come less frequently; they always held a sort of tension, at least in your mind. Should I tell him or should I speak through our touch? But the request today had given you a glimmer of hope, a flutter in your heart.

And it really had gone quite well at first. The moments you spend with Matty with no strings attached, no sexual undertones, are some of your most cherished. You could let yourself fall for him like this without hesitation, and occasionally you let yourself believe he could do the same for you. 

Something in the air shifted over the course of the day, though. It’s a festering frustration, one that spreads its tendrils further and further despite how little you want it. Just like Matty himself, it’s inexplicable. You look at him, your heart breaks. This could be mine; why isn’t this mine? Because of it, everything Matty does in your presence seems to send a pang of annoyance through your entire body. His words sound pretentious, his actions too big and too loud, the looks he gives you feel calculated and judgmental.

Which is why you’re here, idly lying on the sofa, trying very hard to be mad at him. Trying very hard to hold a grudge against him for more than five minutes. You’re sure it’s all in your head, but you consider for a moment that maybe this is good. It’s either anger or infatuation, and the latter doesn’t seem to be an option. Besides, how else are you supposed to cope with the purgatory of being somewhere between a lover and a one-night stand? If anything, maybe I’ll get a good hate-fuck out of this. It’s a crude thought, but it crosses your mind. 

The movement of Matty’s fingers on his guitar strings evokes memories of previous nights with him, with his hands. His kisses in those moments feel larger than the universe, whisking you away from the side of reality in which he’s not yours. His lips are a prayer that you say every night, over and over, waiting for it to be heard. Agile fingers strum across the guitar. You could swallow him whole, you could tear him to pieces, you could have a life together, you could—

“You’re awfully quiet today.” The music stops.

You hesitate. “Am I?”

Matty just looks at you for a moment, eyebrows raised, big brown eyes boring into yours. His lips part, then close as he chooses his words. “You can tell me if you don’t want to hang out like this. Or if I did something.” He doesn’t say it like an accusation, or like he blames you; he just sounds sad, and you can hear the silent question: Is this how things have to be between us? 

That’s all it takes for your eyes to begin welling up. “You didn’t do something,” you tell him, and really, you mean it. “It’s just…” The words weigh heavy on your tongue. “Matty, I don’t want to do this anymore.” You quickly flick your eyes back to his to gauge his reaction. “I can’t just blur the lines of whatever the fuck we are together and feel totally okay.” 

He stands up and moves to sit next to you. Matty takes your hand in his, calloused fingers swallowing you. You’re small here, and his touch makes you want to cry out for him. He could kiss away the hell he brought. Any other day and he would be making his way down your neck, soft touches to ease your aches. “How could I not want you?” he would tell you. His love would wash over you like an orgasm; it’s the only way he would ever say it.

None of that happens today, though. All of a sudden you realize the hand that’s holding yours is trembling. The words don’t come to Matty’s lips. The deafening silence plagues you with guilt. What the fuck am I doing? you ask yourself. And then Matty says it. “You know we can’t be together.”

It was a long time coming. “I know.” But you don’t really know, you were never given an explanation. It’s okay to be friends, to fuck, to give yourselves to each other, but for some unspoken reason a relationship was off the table.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he says. “But I don’t know how to be with you right now. I want to be good to you.”

You are good to me, you almost scream. You are so good to me. “We could just try,” you say. You hear the weakness in your voice. You want to wretch.

“I would hurt you.”

“I don’t care.”

“You do. You will.”

Matty is right and you so desperately wish he wasn’t. How easy it would be to hate him rather than let go of him. He could ruin you and you could despise him and there would be satisfaction. But all you have left now are questions. “Are we still friends?” The question sounds small and childish as you say it.

“I think so, yeah.” His voice shakes, but refuses to give. It makes you want to hold his head in your hands and press kisses to his cheeks until all is well. Remind him of love and how simple it can be.

You don’t know where to go from here. Matty’s guitar lays forgotten on the other side of the room as you sit together, silent. The next words uttered may be the last ones – what are you supposed to do with that?

Something inside you vows to never speak again.

Matty’s hand still holds yours, resting together atop his leg. Despite it all, you remain intertwined. You pray that this means something. Somewhere in the room, you find the courage to ask Matty what your heart has been aching to know. “Do you think we could fall in love again? Later, I mean.”

He gives you a soft smile, a sad one. “I like to think we could.”

[sarcasticbambi]

Enchanted Chapter I

Next>

“Why did I agree to come again?”

Was the thought running through the heads of two people, neither knowing how the night would end for them.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you in one of these events, miss…”

“MDC, Monsieur. You can refer to me as MDC”

“Right… MDC you say…”

“...”

“So, what brings you to the Wayne Gala this year? Oh,I hope you understand the curiosity, it is the first time you’re participating in the event after all.”

Just because you make it sound polite, it doesn’t mean you’re actually being polite you-

To say Marinette was done with the fake and pretentious high-class pigs was the understatement of the century. 

Just because you have enough money to be invited here doesn’t mean you’re all that. It just means that M. Wayne will have more money to donate to the associations that will actually use it for something productive.

But then again, she too was invited so it’s not like she can say much. However, she never covered her words with honey to insult someone.

“I’m here as M. Stone’s plus one” “Wasn’t M. Stone’s plus one his manager Ms. Rolling?”

“No! Haven’t you heard? This year he invited his  designer!” 

Here comes the gossip…

“You mean the very exclusive designer known for working with Clara Nightingale and being the only one capable of keeping up with his extravagant personality?”

“I hear they keep themselves anonymous and so never go to galas and such even though many high-profile personalities invite them everytime.”

“THAT designer?”

The way they all turned to look at her could only be described as a predator ready to launch on their prey.

The compliments were very appreciated, even if her confidence sometimes made her think otherwise. Honestly, if it were in any other situation she’d probably be a blushing and sputtering mess, but considering that it came from these old people with nothing to do but flaunt their money all day, well, lets just say that she felt no remorse in putting the mask of professionalism that often came with dealing with annoying press *cough*Alya*cough* as Ladybug. She just wasn’t sure if the red and gold mask was enough to cover the glare she was sure was on her face. It sure wasn’t enough to cover the deadly annoyed aura she emitted.

“Yes, I-”

“M! There you are! Dad and Penny are looking for you!”

“Oh, Luka! I’ll be right with you! I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen, it seems I’m needed somewhere else. Wouldn’t want to leave M. Stone waiting now would we?”

If Marinette saw the pale faces of the people remembering a certain disaster pertaining to the impatience of one Jagged Stone, neither her nor Luka mentioned anything. And so, the pair of best friends left the group of pretentious old people to their gossip and judging words covered with honey so thick it might as well give you cavities. “Is Uncle Jagged really calling for me?”

“No, but I had to intervene, you looked ready to murder those people with your glare alone!” Luka said with a chuckle. “Ugh! Stop laughing, it’s not funny! Why did I even agree to come again! This is exactly why I’ve rejected all of the invitations!!”

“Well, you know how dad can be…” another chuckle

“Don’t I?! He threatened to destroy one of the suits I made him! And not just any suit, but the one specifically  made to open the stage on his upcoming tour!”

“It can’t be that bad, I mean, you made them almost 100% Jagged proof so no accidents could happen right? Even if he tried I’m pretty sure it’d be very difficult to damage them beyond repair”

“Oh no, you don't understand. He threatened to have Fang “play” with the suit! I may have made them Jagged proof, but they’re hardly CROCODILE PROOF!!”

“... You don’t really believe he’d go that far,do you?”

“Oh dear Luka, I don’t need to believe, I know so. And you want to know how I know that? Because he actually had the audacity of sending a picture of the suit dangling in front of Fang and the little menace looking at it like the most delicious snack ever!!!”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

The silence that fell upon them was the comfortable kind, the one that wraps you like a warm blanket on a cold evening. Even though their relationship didn’t work, they didn’t let that get in the way of a very understanding friendship. Both parties know how to appreciate and lift each other up when needed, especially with the weight of the responsibilities held in their shoulders.

“I think I'm going to stay on the side for a bit. I'm pretty sure if I have to continue another one of these fake conversations, I'm going to say or do something I'll regret and maybe get Uncle Jagged in trouble.”

“It’s ok, after a couple months of following dad to these things I know how bad they can be. And by the way, you - more than anyone else really - should know that my dad doesn’t need you being honest with these people to get him in trouble. He gets himself in trouble all the time! Honestly, I can't say with 100% certainty that trouble isn’t somehow his middle name.” The snort that followed this comment was somehow covered well enough to look elegant, how he did it? She’s still trying to figure it out.

“Yeah, I’m well aware” a soft smile appears on Marinette’s face, memories of various chaotic fittings coming to mind when thinking of her honorary uncle. Sometimes she wonders how Jagged and Anarka managed to give birth to the most quiet (and shy, in Juleka’s case) kids she knows, considering their personalities! Kagami is the only exception to the rule since her quietness and composure comes from years of training and discipline.

“I have to go find dad, you know he needs someone to keep him in check and Penny is trying to get a night to herself. Are you sure you’ll be ok?”

“Yes, I'll be fine. Go find him and help Penny keep the few years that Jagged has yet to make her lose to stress” Marinette said with a giggle.

“Ok, but be safe. If you need anything just call and I’ll be right here.”

“I didn’t know I brought my mum with me.” She said with a roll of her eyes “Don’t worry, I’ll just stay on the side of the room, I’ll even text you if I decide to go and check if the gardens are as amazing as they claim.”

“Ok. I’ll see you in a bit then, you know dad wants to introduce you to his friend.”

“Oui, oui, now leave so I can people watch and judge if these macarons are good enough.”

After one last reluctant look at the petite girl he now considers a sister, Luka left to find his dad.

Marinette walks to the table holding the array of snacks and picks up a pink macaron, turning it side to side judging its appearance first and then taking a small bite. It’s not as good as the ones she bakes with her parents back home, but considering all she has eaten in the US in the past week, suffice to say that it was up to her standards. She would not mind having a second one.

Resting her back against the marble pillar at the corner of the room, she settles with people watching for the time being. Wandering bluebell eyes land on the group of kids on the other side of the room where they were playing with each other, before spotting the tall ginger gentleman in a crouch speaking with a little girl. At first she was suspicious, but judging by the little she can see of the interaction - the little girl giggling at something the man said - she relaxes a bit more, guessing it’s someone she knows or is acquainted with.

After people watching for a couple moments more, she gets bored and decides to indeed check the famous Martha Wayne Gardens, perhaps she’ll even get a strike of inspiration, who knows. Sending a message to Luka so he doesn’t worry,  she moves along to the exit, unaware of the little green eyes following her form.

-----------------------------

Roy Harper was definitely not listening to Jason Todd ever again. No matter what.

“It’ll be fun!” he said.

“I’ll be there with you the whole time!” he said.

“Lian will have fun!” he said-

Ok, that last one is true. She is enjoying herself and playing with kids her age outside of school. But still, WHY DID I AGREE TO COME TO ONE OF THESE THINGS? The suits are uncomfortable, the people are annoying, Jason is off somewhere (probably at the bar avoiding the dangling pieces of meat that can’t seem to understand the word ‘no’) the list goes on and on!

Turning around, Roy leaves to go check on the kids. He knows he doesn’t need to worry, the Waynes would obviously only get the best of the best, security included, so he knows his daughter is in good hands. But he still prefers it when he has eyes on his little girl, no need for unnecessary troubles…

And Jason can make fun of how she has him wrapped around her pinky all he wants, later.

Not like you can say much right, Uncle Jay Jay?

Going up to the little kids group, Lian spots him immediately and runs up to him, mischief clear in the same green eyes he sees everyday in the mirror.

“Hey baby. Everything good?”

“Of course daddy, I’m a big girl now! You don't need to go around worrying about me!” she exclaimed, puffing her little chest up and making herself seem taller to get her point across.

“I know princess. I’m sorry for doubting your capability of not getting yourself in trouble or not creating chaos”

“*le gasp* Daddy!” The grin that appeared on his face betrayed the look in his eyes. He would do anything to protect his little girl, mischievous or not. He’d do anything for her, hunt the whole world down for whatever she asked and from whoever had it, if only to be able to keep that smile on her little face everyday.

“I don’t get in trouble! Trouble is the one to always find me! What do you want me to do, ignore it? You yourself said that it was rude to ignore people..”

Oh Lord. She knew exactly what she was doing, and there was absolutely nothing he could do, so with a resigned sigh he looked up at his daughter again and cleans the little bit of cream from the pastry she was eating earlier.

“Was the cream puff so good that even your cheeks wanted a bite?”

“Yes! You should try some yourself!” The little giggle she released hid the glance she threw at the masked lady on the other side of the room.

“Let's go then.”

—----------------------------------------------

Glancing around, the gardens were indeed quite beautiful. It’s a pity that Martha Wayne passed away, because even though it’s been years since the accident and someone else is in charge of it, it’s very obvious that the foundation of the garden is still the same as it was some twenty years ago.

With the care she is sure the gardens receive everyday, she can see why they’re called the best gardens in Gotham after the Gotham Botanical Gardens. But that is only because it’s Ivy who’s taking care of them - it doesn’t matter how good you may be at caring for plants, no one can beat Poison Ivy’s ability of bringing them to the best of their potential. 

It’s not long after moving around the gardens that Marinette hears her name being shouted from the entrance of it. 

guess it’s time to go back to that insanity. It was good while it lasted

Getting up from the bench she found around one of the several fountains, she fixed her dress and moved back inside.

——————————————-

Seeing Lian try and “sneak” another cream puff from him, Roy decides that that’s enough. 

“Come on little troublemaker, enough cream puffs. Your daddy won’t be able to endure another sugar high session.”

Ladies and gentlemen and non-binary people, this single statement brings forth the most challenging battle Roy has ever fought - and if you know about his… nightly past time, you know that he’s had several and very complicated battles, some even had him on the brink of death!

I introduce you, ‘The Pout’, by Lian Harper!

Obviously, Roy can never say no to his precious little girl. Who would be able to after seeing ‘The Pout’. At this point, not even Jason can say he’s managed to achieve such a feat!

“Princess, baby, light of my life, don’t do this to me. Please!”

“But daddy, just one more!” ‘The Pout’ intensifies…

“You said that last time too…”

“I promise! I’ll even get away from the table! We can go outside to the gardens!” 

If Roy wasn’t so desperate to get his daughter away from the pastry and snacks table, he would have been able to identify the glint that appeared in his daughter’s eyes whenever she was up to no good. But alas, he was too busy.

“Ok honey, one last one and that’s that! You promised!”

“Yes, yes. Now let’s go into the gardens! I saw a fairy move there and I DEFINITELY need to meet her!”

“… a fairy?” The look of confusion on his face spoke volumes.

“YES! She was wearing a gold and red dress! And her hair was so pretty too! It shone in the light! I’m pretty sure only fairies’ hair shines like that!”

Thinking it was another one of Lian’s fairytail settings where he’s required to play along and help her uncover mysteries or save someone (*cough*princess Lian*cough*), Roy just sets her down, holds her hands and guides her to the closest balcony. It’s too cold outside for them to actually walk around the garden, but it’ll be fine to stay on the balcony where they can oversee them. Should be enough for whatever adventure Lian’s mind conjured this time. 

—--------------------------

“Daddy look! It’s the fairy!”

Looking out the balcony towards where Lian's small fingers pointed, Roy finally understood what she meant when she said she saw a fairy. 

There, standing in front of the fountain with a glass of what he can only assume to be the expensive champagne being handed around the party, stood the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his eyes upon. Luscious strands of midnight hair fell down her back only to stop at the small curvature of her back. The strands were so dark it shone blue in the light of the full moon that for once was visible in the dark, gloomy and foggy sky of good old Gotham.

Her red dress fell down to the crisp grass he was sure Alfred kept at the exact same even height every single time. Whoever made the dress, knew for sure what they were doing, because it seemed to float even though he saw it drag through the grass  when she moved. Although there wasn't much he could make out from the distance he was observing her, he could still see the shine of the gold lining and details in the dress with the small movements she made. 

And wasn't that a blessing. Because when she moved, he was able to see a bit more of her features; the pale skin that seemed to glisten in the moonlight, and the blue orbs that shone as bright as the bluest of sapphires to have ever been found, looked in his direction, and he was sure that time stopped right then and there. 

Like some kind of spell, he was entranced by the beauty that stood feet away from him surrounded by the most beautiful of greenery, making her fit for the word his daughter had used to describe her: a fairy. A Garden Fairy. He should tell Alfred that he did such a good job at keeping the garden in shape, that it was blessed by the presence of the most ethereal of fairies.

After a couple seconds of eye contact, her attention was given to something else - probably someone calling her, from the way she seemed to react. And so, after another glance his way, the Garden Fairy (as he’s decided to call her until he finds out her name) turns fully towards the building and starts walking inside, finally vanishing under the big balcony he was standing in.

“Awww, she left Daddy!” his daughter spoke for the first time since getting into the balcony with him. Or he’s assuming it was the first time, since he was completely  entranced by the Garden Fairy and would probably not have heard any comment from his daughter. Which, by her mischievous smirk, was a very accurate assumption.

“She was very pretty wasn’t she? I told you she was! Did you see her hair? I told you it was amazing! I also want hair like hers!!”

“Yes, yes she was. And you were very right, she does have pretty hair. Maybe we should get back inside to get away from the cold and maybe find this Garden Fairy of yours to get some hair tips?”

“That’s a great idea! Let’s go!”

Picking up the 6 years old, Roy turns around to head into the salon, when his daughter gets his attention again. And the look in her eyes? It spelled trouble.

“But Daddy, I never called her Garden Fairy!”

Next>

[abeautylives]

Imperfect Moments - Chapter One

a/n: This is my first intentional series, I hope you love it 🥹 I don’t have a posting schedule in mind but I do have several chapters already locked and loaded.

Series Masterlist

pairing: Jakexfemale!reader

word count: 1.4k this chapter

series summary: You’re in love with your best friend. His twin brother hates you. Or does he?

warnings: none this chapter aside from a little language

jake_gvf just posted a photo

The notification appears and you flick it away.

Jake’s updates are the rarest and yet they irritate you the most. Josh had convinced you to follow everyone in the band, to “keep up with us when we’re gone,” and you’d done it simply because he’d asked. On the off chance that he’s posted a picture including his twin, you decide to open the app.

So pretentious. Bitch, you’re not a pirate.

Lame.

You leave the comment, knowing he’ll never see it.

When your phone starts ringing in your hands, you can’t help but smile as your favorite picture of Josh’s face graces the screen.

“Joshua, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You’ve really done it now, darling,” your heart rate picks up at the nickname, “Jake’s pissed.”

“Pissed about what?” You’re actually confused. You haven’t seen or even been in the same state as Jake in weeks. You rarely speak to him.

“Your little comment on his picture. Oh, he’s completely up in arms over it, throwing an actual tantrum! They call me the dramatic one.” Josh’s laughter is infectious and you join in happily, until what he’s saying sinks in.

“Wait, how did he even see that? He reads his own Instagram comments?” You didn’t think they took much control over that kind of thing, and you definitely didn’t think yours would stand out amongst the flood of fans drooling over him.

“Jacob takes his work on social media very seriously Y/N,” his tone is stern until a giggle comes over the line. He’s joking, but you’re chewing over your bottom lip, still concerned that your comment had even blipped on Jake’s radar.

“Y/N? You there?”

Shaken out of your contemplation, you fix a smile onto your lips that Josh can’t see. “Yeah! Sorry, sorry you have to deal with that. He’s so annoying.”

“No, this is great. I love it when you get under his skin, the entertainment is free. I do need to go though, just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh from afar.”

“Pleased to be of service,” you chuckle, proud of yourself for earning the praise of the older twin. “When do you get back?”

“Hmm, I think we’ll be home next week. Maybe Friday? I’ll let you know, we can go out!”

“Sounds good, I miss you already,” it slips out, but you mean it.

“We haven’t been gone that long! I’ve gotta go darling, talk soon!”

“Yeah, talk soon. Bye J-“

He’s already hung up.

You’re not sure why you’ve never clicked with Jake when it had been instant with his literal carbon copy, he’d immediately seemed to dislike you after your first meeting. You figure it’s probably because he’s too pretty for his own good and unfortunately, he knows it.

Josh is pretty like that too, unbelievably so, but it’s almost like he has no idea. You love that about him. You love everything about him. You might be in love with him.

He’s completely oblivious.

It’s hard to not develop a crush on Josh. You’re sure that anyone who’s ever interacted with him walks away a little bit in love, and you interact with him more than most but in over a year, he’s never given you the impression that he feels anything more than platonic affection for you.

Stupidly, that hasn’t stopped you from letting your world revolve around him.

Over a thousand miles away, reclined against the pillows of his claimed bed in the hotel room he’s currently sharing with his brother, Jake is staring at his phone. Fuming.

“What the fuck is her problem?”

“Who?” Josh can’t help but poke the bear.

“Your little friend, where does she get off calling me lame? Like she doesn’t know who the fuck I am.” Jake’s a humble guy, normally. Or at least he thinks he is.

“And who the fuck are you, Jake, hm? I quite enjoy that she doesn’t like you.”

“What you quite enjoy is that she only likes you. You love the attention, it’s sort of pathetic.” He doesn’t mean it, not really, but the friendship between you and his brother grates on his nerves in a way he won’t bother explaining. “You know she’s into you, right?”

“Y/N?! No, it’s not like that with us.”

“Josh, it’s not like that with you. She never leaves you alone. She likes you, it’s disturbingly obvious.”

“To who?” He seems genuinely surprised by this revelation, eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

“You’re an idiot,” Jake mutters it under his breath as he deletes your comment under his post and then promptly drops the conversation.

The following week, the guys got back into town on Friday, just as Josh had thought. And he had called you, just as he said he would. What he failed to do however, was tell you that all of his brothers would be joining you when he suggested you go out.

When you walked up to the table expecting to find Josh with his beaming smile and head full of curls, only to be met with three beaming smiles and one distinct sneer, the disappointment settled deep in your belly. Rather than allow it to show, you greeted them cheerily.

“Fancy seeing all of you here! How was Florida?”

They each stand to offer you a hug, Sam giving you a friendly kiss on the cheek before dragging Danny to the bar with him to order a round. When Josh wraps his arms around you, you return the gesture and hold onto him for longer than you should. You really did miss him, but your reunion is soured by the look of displeasure on Jake’s face. Unfortunately, it’s directed at you and your eyes have found his over Josh's shoulder. You maintain the eye contact as the embrace comes to an end.

“Jacob.”

“Y/N.”

“Well look at the two of you, it’s been thirty seconds and you haven’t cursed at or spit on each other yet!” Josh truly does find your distaste for one another entertaining, it’s puzzling to him but he enjoys trying to figure it out.

“The night is still young. I need a drink.” Jake finally stands and bumps your shoulder with his as he makes his way across the room where the others are waiting at the bar.

“I can’t believe you guys have the same DNA. He’s such an asshole,” you huff out as you rub the spot on your shoulder that Jake had touched. Josh simply laughs.

Most interactions you have with Jake end with you telling one of his brothers he’s an asshole. He’s never actually touched you though, not since the handshake you shared when you first met. His body’s contact with yours leaves you feeling off-balance and irritated, and you eventually call the night early after confirming with Josh that the two of you will get together soon.

Josh turns from you when you leave his side, sips his drink and keeps talking with Sam.

Jake watches your back until you’ve left the building.

The thing about Jake that no one knows, not even his twin, is that he’s jealous. Jealous of your easy friendship, envious of the attention you’re constantly showering his brother with.

When you’d been introduced he’d been pleased to finally meet you, but the sheer amount of time you spent with Josh quickly became excessive. While the world had literally shut down, he’d watched you cling to his brother in a time where contact with other people had become so limited.

The part that bothers him is that he envies what Josh refuses to realize is there. Josh doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer, and it makes him feel like he’s not allowed to. Not allowed to indulge in your presence, not allowed to admire you. So he’s gotten to know you from a distance, overhearing phone conversations and eavesdropping when you’re in their home. Occasionally he’ll join the two of you but keeps his communication with you scarce, or nonexistent.

Which is fine. He can handle that, except he’s seen what’s going on behind your eyes every time you let them linger on Josh’s face. He can feel it radiating from you if he gets too close. Somewhere along the way, you’d developed feelings for his brother.

And he wishes they had been for him.

Therefore, he acts like he can’t stand you. In turn, he knows you hate him because of it.

Taglist:

@lightmylove-gvf @spicedandicedtea @weneedsomehealing123 @milkgemini @why-ami-on-here

Please let me know if you’d like to be added ❤️

[theladyheroine]

Swan Maidens & Other Birds! 🦢🦉🦜

❥ Types of Wizards prompt

❥ Hello everyone! 👋🏽 I know it’s been a long while since I wrote anything, but I am trying my best! I recently got back from vacation too so that was super fun! Anywho this post might be short but it seemed like such an interesting idea. Have fun & enjoy! Thank you!

Okay! So for anyone that doesn’t know, swan maidens are a lesser known mythical creature from European origins. ‘Though I think they come from French origin? But I could also be wrong lol but anyway, swan maidens are women who can turn into swans & back again via a cloak of magical feathers.

I wanted to create a few headcanons of what they might be like, but also what other birds would be like too!

Swan maidens are considered the most elegant and charming due to their snow white feathers. However, they can be quite vain creatures if you’re not careful. Much similar to fairies of older tales, these maidens are vain and will take any opportunity to be noticed. Even if they’re undercover.

Flaunting their feathers and fair features as they swim back and forth. Hoping to catch the eyes of other bird maidens or even humans. Or taking the opportunity to gaze at their own reflections. But, if you decide to ignore them or turn down their pretentious antics, be prepared for a mean trick or two. Expect a fair amount of shoes to go missing, your garden gets trampled or eaten, or they might just try to chase you off.

Owl maidens, unlike swans, are far less sensitive about their appearance and even towards humans. They are more curious than any, but you do not want to mess with them. Residing among tall treetops and mountainsides, they guard their domains from vicious predators or anything else that decides to make trouble. They are usually much larger than other bird maidens.

Those big intelligent eyes of theirs are always on the lookout, however, you might be able to catch them during the daytime if you’re careful enough. Considering they’re nocturnal like their feathery counterparts. However, they’re more like gentle giants and wouldn’t hurt a fly. They actually like to people watch at times, preferring to sit back and enjoy themselves than start something.

Raven maidens are not necessarily elusive creatures, but they are definitely the hardest to find due to their timidity. Plus, their dark feathers usually help them blend in with any shadows or other darker places. They usually fly solo or can be seen in pairs, but it’s best not to get near them. Else they’ll run or fly away!

However, if you get too close or prove to be a scoundrel, they’ll might to trick you! Mimicking voices and other sounds is one of their many talents, and will often use this ability to hide their presence. Mimicking the sound of a running stream, rustling leaves, even other animals. But if you’re up to no good, you might end up at the wrong place. As they can mimic human voices too.

Parrot maidens are probably the most flamboyant creatures other than swan maidens, if not more so. Painting the sky with their vibrant colors makes for a wonderful display, and they can often be seen in a big cluster together showing off their looks. However, they are incredibly loud! That’s usually what gives their identity away in the first place….

They sound more like clucking hens than parrots, chattering away from sun up to sun down about who knows what. However, due to that they are quite knowledgeable! Exchanging talks of various things is in their nature, as they are quite social, and you could gain something useful if you tried. Just trade them a story or something really pretty and they’ll tell you whatever you want!

[dark-frosted-heart]

hii! ik this be slightly belated, and i don’t mean to sound pretentious /gen if anything i’m just nerding out a lil here bchkshgds, but if it’s alr can i further comment a note for chptr 2 i believe of rogers rt? specifically where roger says (quoting ur tl, hope it’s ok!): “i’m in a situation where i’m gonna a hand from a dog.”

if i remember right, this line is actually very hard to translate- bc it’s meant to be a pun and like almost like a joke in the jp version! but since the expression doesn’t really exist in english the same way, it’s easily lost in translation. the original line roger says is ["犬"の手も借りたい] (“inu” no te mo karitai). and this is actually derived from a japanese saying, [猫の手も借りたい] (neko no te mo karitai). the latter literally tls to “i could borrow even a cat’s hand.” but here roger changes from cat (猫) to dog (犬), either bc he’s more taken by dogs, he sees kate like a dog, or both lmao

but the connotative meaning of 猫の手も借りたい is like, i could reeeeallly use any help i could get (i.e. even if it means it’s from a cat- or well, dog in the case of roger’s main story). but that’s why 犬 is in double quotes in jp. so roger’s basically trying to be funny here i think xd

thanks for your hard work 🫶 /gen

Hello! Thank you for the additional comment! Oof my typos

While I knew about 猫の手も借りたい, I didn't make the connection when he replaced cat with dog, so thank you for that. I honestly thought nothing about it because he really does see Kate as a dog sometimes 🤣 Like quite literally "Kate, I could use a paw. ‘Cause you’re a dog" instead of a hand.

[squishmallow36]

Aro Dex Fic I don't feel like Titling

Word count: 2333

Tw: swearing, murder/near death experience mentions (i promise it's fluffy tho)

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @the-blender-of-the-genders @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @immersion-blender @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death

And of course a HUGE thank you to @synonymroll648 for giving me the motivation to write this thing. It'd still be rotting in my google drive if it weren't for you and I hope it lives up to your expectations from that one snippet. Sorry it took an extra day; I got distracted playing factorio in true Dex fashion

On Ao3 or below the cut!

    A knock at Dex’s bedroom door cuts through xor blaring music. Xe’s fully prepared to wage all-out guerilla warfare against whichever one of xor siblings dared to interrupt one of the few times xor brain isn’t being a little bitch. 

    One of the very few times xe isn’t worrying about seventeen thousand different productive things xe has to do and is instead simply able to ignore them. 

    And that’s exactly why xe’s spent the last two and a half hours coding a game of bingo. Sometimes that just kind of happens. It’s not like there’s anything xe can do to change it. 

    Dex pulls out his earbuds, calling, “Come in!” 

    Sophie’s head pokes through a small gap in the doorway as she greets, “Hello!” 

    Awfully cheery for someone who has a near-death experience once a week. I wonder what Keefe’s done this time. 

    “Oh, hey.” Dex smiles. “I didn’t know I still existed in your mind.” 

    Sophie closes the door behind him as he points to his temple, giggling, “Photographic memory.”

    “Ah. That explains it. What sort of project do you have for me this time?” Despite what she may claim and what Dex wants to admit to xemself, Sophie has a…tendency to only come see xem when she has a project for xem. That’s just the way it works these days.  

    “Hide me from Sandy. I don’t want to deal with him today,” Sophie answers, smooshing into the bean bag in the corner. 

    Dex sighs. “If you get murdered under my watch, I better not get blamed.” 

    Xe may mean it in a joking way, but history has shown it’s a possibility that shouldn’t be immediately discounted, and then it would be all xor fault if something happened to him. 

    Sophie makes a disgruntled noise. “You sound just like Sandy.” 

    A smile pulls at the corners of Dex’s mouth. “...Maybe I’m part Goblin. That would explain a lot.” 

    What exactly it would explain, xe doesn’t know. But there’s probably something somewhere. 

    “Like the fact you’re seventeen feet tall?” 

    Note to self: learn the US customary system of measurement. 

    At least, the way she says this implies that this is a large number even if the Elves don’t measure things in feet. Feet--as in, the attached appendages--vary in size too much for their pretentiousness because everything has to be standardized. 

    But not the same way humans do. The human metric system isn’t good enough either. Why that is, nobody knows. 

    “I’m a normal height. You’re just short.” 

    Actually, xe’s half a maik taller than the average elf, but that’s close enough for the sake of argument. 

    “You know what? Fuck you.” Sophie replies, getting up from the bean bag and burrowing into Dex’s bed. 

    Or at least that’s what it sounds like he says. The blanket muffle factor is very high. 

    He pauses for a second before mumbling, “I live here now.” 

    I really hope you can breathe in there. 

    “Mood.” Dex turns to go back to xor Bingo project, but xe has a thought--wasting xor only one for this week on a Tuesday--

    Why do Elves use the same Gregorian calendar as humans do anyway? Eh, whatever. That’s an issue for another day. 

    --and asks Sophie, “Why didn’t you choose to go brother Keefe?” 

    “More time before Sandy finds me. He’d check there first. Or maybe Everglen. Either way, it’s high up on the list.” 

    Dex shakes xor head. “So you’re trading my life for what? Ten minutes of being buried in a blanket cocoon? Can’t you do that at home?”

    “Well, yeah, but I don’t have Gwendle at home,” she replies, crushing the fluffy pink pig’s head in with her elbow. 

    “If something happens to Gwendle, I swear to fucking Exile the Neverseen are going to look like a bunch of Level Twos.” 

    “Level Twos are vicious, my dude. I hope you can bring it.” 

    “I know. I live with three of them. Send help.” 

    Sophie does not seem to take this as an actual plea for help. Or actively chooses to let Dex suffer. 

    “Wait, the triplets are Level Twos? They’re still supposed to be like,” Sophie pauses, “seven.” 

    “They were nine the first time you met them!” 

    “That’s both wrong and incorrect.” 

     No, unfortunately, it is neither of the above. And Dex has learned from the most obnoxious of Level Twos, so any sort of punishment xe creates is certain to be horribly painful. 

    Sophie recovers quickly from this revelation, asking, “So what’s new in your life?”

    “Not much. I have a random bruise on my arm and I’m not sure how it got there.” Xe tries to show her, but his head is buried in the blanket cocoon and has no chance of appreciating the yellow blob.

    Is it weird my bruises don’t really go through the bruise-looking purplish stage and instead go directly to yellow-green? I should Google that at some point.

    “How about you,” xe tacks on after a moment because that is the correct next step of the social contract. 

    “I’ve been experiencing gay thoughts for Keefie. You know how it is.” 

    Dex laughs nervously. No, I don’t, Sophie. 

    It’s not that Keefe isn’t objectively attractive, all Elves are, but that’s part of the problem. If all Elves are gorgeous, then none of them are.  

    Don’t blame me for getting my philosophy from The Incredibles. There’s only so much I can do. 

    “Oh, and, uh, by the way. I’m not exactly straight,” Sophie mentions casually. 

    Dex sees flashbacks of one of the last times xe was trying to procrastinate, trying to find Amy on human Social Media because that seemed like a good use of his time. 

    Incidentally, he found both Amy and Sophie, who stated in his description that he’s bi. Also the gender thing. That should also count for something although that hasn’t been updated in a while and still included they/them which has since been blacklisted for reasons.

    “I--I know. I stalked your Instagram page.”

    Sophie sits up, blankets puddling around her, hair standing on end from static. “You found that?”

    “I’m a Technopath with too much free time so…yeah.” Dex shrugs. “Spent some time trying to look through every single Sophie Foster but then I figured Amy would probably be following you and somehow she managed to find me a while ago.”

    “Why the fuck do you even have an Instagram?” 

    “I’ve got to keep up with the chocolate man’s bullshittery,” Dex replies like it’s the most obvious answer in the world. 

    Sophie clearly has no clue who Dex is talking about, but doesn’t bother asking. There are some days when going to a lecture is almost tolerable, but she’s not going to waste her free time away from Sandor to learn. “Fair.” He pauses, falling back into the bed with a huff. “You’re smart. Can you explain something to me?” 

    “I can try?” Dex replies, attempting to mentally prepare for whatever he tries to throw at xem. 

    “Elves are fucking stunning, yes?”

    Xe was not prepared for that. 

    “Yes?” Objectively, of course, but yes. 

    “So can you explain to me why my gay awakening was caused by Grace O��Malley? Like, what the fuck, brain? She’s been dead for centuries. I don't understand this. And this postdates moving to the Lost Cities by the way. This was two months ago.” 

     I could’ve told you two years ago, but I was oblivious to myself so I’m not going to be like that. Not today. 

    Dex nods like xe understands what she’s saying, but despite xor human studies, xe has no clue who this is, but there’s reasoning behind it. Just like the entire conversation they had ranking all the US presidents by how attractive they were. 

    That Franklin Pierce won by a large margin.

     Why that was a conversation, xe couldn’t tell you. Why Grace O’Malley is causing Sophie so many gay thoughts, xe couldn’t tell you either. 

    “You have no clue who I’m talking about, do you?” Sophie asks. 

    “No but that doesn’t mean I don’t have Wikipedia…but, please be my Wikipedia for this. It’s sure to be more entertaining than normal Wikipedia.” 

    “I see you’re enjoying my suffering,” Sophie mutters, but before Dex can reply, he’s off on a rambled explanation. “Grace O’Malley, also known as Granuaile, was the baddest bitch that ever lived. I mean yes she was documented to have a husband at one point and a boyfriend at another point but then he was killed and she absolutely fucked his killers over so, yoou know, that comes out even. She’s known today as the pirate queen of Ireland and, gods, I wish she’d step on me.” 

    Are the Allos okay? 

    “None of my little gay thoughts make any sense. By any rational means my gay awakening should’ve been Biana or Marella or Linh. Oh gods, Linh is so pretty. Isn’t Linh so pretty?”

    “I…haven’t really thought about it I guess.” 

    “What the fuck do you mean, my dude?” Sophie asks, sitting up once again to stare into Dex’s soul.

    Dex shrugs. “I mean it just hasn’t really crossed my mind.”     

    Sophie buries his head in his hands. “What do you mean it hasn’t crossed your mind‽ I can’t seem to have any other thoughts even when I’m literally in the middle of getting murdered.”

    Dex takes a breath. “Would you like a possible explanation to this whole dilemma?”

    Cranking sarcasm up to eleven, Sophie replies, “No. I enjoy suffering this anguish. Teach me your ways.” 

    “Yeah, so, um. A couple of weeks ago I might’ve come to the realization that I’m aro…”

    Smiling, Sophie asks in pretend anger, “Why the fuck did I kiss you then?” 

    “You see, what I believed was romantic attraction was really just a wonderful combination of a squish and comphet. So yeah. That happened. I’m sorry.” 

    “Oh, don’t be sorry. Elves being painfully blind to the obvious is just simply a genetic trait we all seem to share.” 

    “...I thought I was part goblin.”

    “You inherited the worst of both worlds. Obliviousness and being tall,” Sophie laughs.”So how’d you overcome your predisposition to obliviousness?” 

    Dex begins, “I was laying in bed one night at about, let’s say three a.m. because that’s better than the actual time, refusing to sleep because sleep is for losers--”

    “Mood,” Sophie interrupts.

    “--and out of nowhere the realization hit me like a sack of wet mice. Looking back, the lack of heart palpitations should have been a very telling sign. And there was some sorting out and reclassifying what I previously believed was romantic attraction but everything can be explained away pretty easily,” Dex finishes. 

    “Palpitations? Is that related to Emperor Palpatine? Dex, are you gay for a crusty old Star Wars dude?” Sophie jokes.

    Dex laughs. “That would be so on brand for me but, sadly, no. You know when your heart gets fluttery during a panic attack? It’s the fancy medical word for that.”

    “Why do you know this? You aren’t a healer; you don’t like people enough for that.” 

    “Partially because Merriam-Webster offers a word of the day calendar and partially because my brain just sometimes decides to store the most useless shit. Like the periodic table. Can you tell me the molar mass of copper off the top of your head?”

    “63.55, of course. But you don’t have a photographic memory. This makes no sense to me.”

    “You see, to make room for all that extra storage, I forget an equal number of things. Often the victims are remembering to eat and sleep and which way is left and right.” 

    “Mood. Do you know the left hand right hand trick?”

    “...no?” Dex answers. 

    “If you hold out your left hand, it looks like an ‘L’ which is the same letter that starts the word left. And the right hand is backwards,” Sophie explains. 

    “I hate to break this to you, Soph, but that might be the case in the Latin Alphabet--I should really get back to Duolingo--but that’s not how it works in Elvin runes. And I have a feeling it would take more brain power to remember the rule than to remember left and right so I think I’m just not going to know directions ever. I’ve resigned myself to my fate.” 

    Before he can craft an elaborate mnemonic device to help both of them with a skill they probably should have learned in elf-kindergarten, Dex’s mom yells up the stairs for xem. 

    Half a second later, she’s followed up by a chorus of slightly-off-timed “DEX!”s from the triplets. 

    Xe cracks the door open, replying, “Yeah?” 

    “You wouldn’t happen to know where Sophie might be, eh?” 

    The triplets attempt to also repeat this, to vastly more disastrous results as Dex and Sophie have the shortest staring contest in recorded history. 

    ‘I’ll send her right down!” Dex says, trying to keep any sort of emotion from xor face to no avail. 

    Sophie’s gaze hardens into a glare with the fury of an incredibly cliche but still somehow accurate thousand suns. 

    “You can go and fuck yourself,” he says quietly. 

    Dex pretends to consider. “Nah, I’m too ace for that. Now. Begone before Sandor comes and destroys my room. Everything has its assigned place and I’m not in the mood to reorganize. Not today.” 

    “Bye! If I never get to leave the house again I’ll hail you when I get bored.” 

    Please don’t. I’d rather not have a panic attack and avoiding calls is a very good way to do that. 

    Dex waves as Sophie escapes xor room and down the stairs. If she gets kidnapped by the triplets on the way down, it isn’t xor fault. 

    Xe collapses back into xor chair, leaning too far back and scaring xemself before sighing. 

    That was…less painful than anticipated. Still not telling my mother any time in the next thousand years though. Even with a society constructed around the arospecs we call the council. That’s not happening. Not under my watch. 

[juliansummerhayes]

Daily diary: Wednesday, 15 May 2024

“The motivation of the scholars to expose themselves to categorical dishevelment and ambivalence I don’t pretend to understand, though I have enormous gratitude to them for doing it, and their fiscal and existential decision-making in attending can be questioned. But they are my contemplative kin, and our companionship in the heavy weather of wondering how our corner of the world has come to be as it is is a feast in a famine. When we are labouring up another counterintuitive, habit-violating semantic or phenomenological incline, dragging the ten ton stone of what passes for sanity in the West up the hill of habit and into the light of courteous inquiry where it belongs, I often offer this cool comfort: the language will not fail you. Think about how you think, I tell them, and talk about how you talk, and patient attention to the means by which you think and talk—the language—will serve you and the world you are desperate to care for. The language will not let you down.” – Stephen Jenkinson, Come of Age: A Case for Elderhood in a Time of Trouble (my emphasis added)

So, it’s Wednesday.

Where did the time go?

I quote again from SJ. 

But it’s true. Capital ‘T’ truth, perhaps.

The language will never fail you.

Do we pay enough attention to it?

Now and forever?

I don’t think so. In fact, we’ve become lazy in our demands to challenge the assumed lexicon.

Them’s harsh words.

Damn right.

But we should try to improve how we speak, the words we use and how we view the world apropos of our words.

And not because I say so; but what else is there when we’re trying to communicate?

Actually, I don’t like the word ‘communicate’. It sounds too pretentious, too corporate and elides any sense of the mystery that language provides.

Of course, none of this has anything to do with the way we order our lives.

Or does it?

Imagine devoting an hour a day to improving the spoken or written word.

I don’t deliberately do so, but I’m convinced that one of the reasons why I read so many books, and poetry is because I want to dial in the gods of language – yes, they do exist – and not fall into a state of ennui, despair or torpor in trying to find a way to make sense of this anthropocentric world.

But it’s not just that. I love words; and I’ll do anything to find the right ones, whatever shape, cadence and complexity they have. Does that make me a word snob? Yes, 100%. But not in a show and tell way but as a way to adumbrate something that needs attention. Or to keep alive the beauty of words and their speckled history.

Anyhow, my plans for the day are modest. And, yes, so far I’ve managed to avoid doing any decorating. Sorry Mrs S! The dogs? Well, they’ll get a walk or two although daughter #3 is picking them up later which will be nice for them and me – haha. I’m handing back my IT kit to my last employer, which means I’ve got to wait in until the DPD man arrives. That said, I’m not waiting around forever and I’ll leave the stuff outside if he’s not here by 12 noon. Let’s hope it doesn’t rain. A walk will be on the cards and I might do a bit of cooking. Oh, and I think I might look at a case that was handed down by the Supreme Court on Directors' duties – one area of law that still interests me. Yes, really. Other than that, it’ll be a slow day. I’ll read some more William Blake and be grateful for the time away from the coalface. (I have a new job to start next Monday. I won’t change my LinkedIn profile which says sweet FA about any of my employment history.)

Have a good one.

Stay safe pilgrims of misfortune and chance.

Blessings, Julian  Photo by John Carlo Tubelleza on Unsplash

[kmp78]

Best review under the Worst album 2023, No.5 is for the Mars record was:

" At this point, what can be said that hasn’t already? For any long-time Echelon hoping for this to be a return to even the Flood era of the band’s sound, they would have a better time platting their own piss. No, 30STM have made it abundantly clear at this point, doubling, tripling and now quadrupling down on the same mission they’ve been trying to accomplish for the last ten years now. What’s the mission I hear you ask? Well, it’s to create the most sanitised, vacuous, cheap and creatively insipid record of their career, one that’s completely devoid of human emotion – methodically calculated to amass the current day trends, with cost-efficiency being absolutely paramount. (After all, those Mars Island “experiences” the Leto brothers set up for The Echelon [aka 14-year-old girls] every year aren’t cheap, are they?) Thankfully, after a decade of staunch obstinance, the boys have finally gone and done it – they’ve gnawed and clawed their way to the apex of their own demise. It's the End of the World but It's a Beautiful Day has such a richly prestigious one-dimensional sound, it makes even the worst Justin Bieber album look like a worthy addition to the Humanity’s Greatest Achievements list.

Seriously though, it takes real dedication and belief in one’s self to apply this level of effort into your craft. I mean, I don’t know how Jared does it. When he’s not out there making premium-quality comic book movies, he’s at home walking around in front of the mirror in his glittery cape and Lady Gaga shades, punctiliously planning his execution for the greatest artistic statement yet. All I know is, I’m eternally grateful for these talented chaps’ efforts, because It's the End of the World but It's a Beautiful Day cured my insomnia. Now I use that insufferable “oh-woah-oh” Jared uses – you know, the one he utilises every twenty seconds when he can’t think of anything meaningful to add to the song – as a lullaby for when I’m trying to catch up on my beauty sleep. The fun doesn’t end there though – oh no, you’d be so lucky, my friend! That painfully hackneyed autotuned “oh-woah-oh” is just the sweetener in this acrid sh*t cake. Leto’s quasi-inspirational lyrics about dreams, rebellion, kings and… pain(?), they’re the bastion of unrivalled platitudes and go in accord with the little tick Leto has. All of this is a chef’s kiss of unfettered brilliance so far, but keep up now; don't lose sight of the prize. We can’t just talk about our venerable frontman when there’s a plethora of tenuous, lazy, repetitive guitar and synth melodies to unpack over a banquet of dry, brittle drum cracks that echo limply in this empty shell of a soundscape. The instrumentals on this thing are so nondescript, austere and samey, it’s almost a talent in itself getting them to draw out this high-quality level of ennui from the listener, witnessing one baron, elemental track bleeding into the next with very little distinction. Incredible work.

In short, It's the End of the World but It's a Beautiful Day is the summation of the band’s passing. An affirmation that lets every 30STM fan know; they’ve taken their rapacious, pretentious sensibilities to a new solar system here. If you’re the type of music fan who loves every facet of their music to be vacant of genuine emotion, creativity and expression, this album will satiate your cravings, you hungry listener. Eat the slop, peasant, and hopefully, if you’re very good, the boys will come back in five years’ time and give you… even more slop served as high art.

Sheer brilliance. Here’s to next time, fellas."

😂😂

God damn... 😭

[the1975attheirverybest]

Oooh give us your thoughts on the New Yorker article if you're up to it?

Sure! I mean, I’m not sure I have anything original to say. Just that I didn’t like it that much. I guess it was as good as it could possibly be when written by someone who doesn’t seem to know much about Matty. I mean, I commend the author she did her research and seems to even have interviewed some of the crew. It wasn’t lazy journalism or anything. She just didn’t seem to get why Matty does what he does, and as a result, whenever she’d be quoting him, he’d come off as pretentious.

I know, I know. We joke in the fandom that he’s the most pretentious guy ever. But he’s really not. He’s very down-to-earth and humble and doesn’t take himself too seriously. I think people fail to see that. (By people I mean non-fans) like she did a lot of work to “contextualize him.” Talking about the George Floyd thing and him quitting Twitter, his memes on Instagram described as “makes fun of himself as well as his own fans.” Or whatever it was that she said. But….the more information she gave to try and give people more context, the more ridiculous it all sounded. What’s that thing she said about him silencing himself to make room for women or whatever cuz he put Greta on Notes? Do you see what I’m saying? I REALLY doubt that Marty was sitting there thinking “it is time for me, a man, to stfu so that a woman, Greta, may speak.” That sounds pompous. It happened a lot more organically than that. He was thinking about topical stuff. Struck my the environment discourse, Greta happened to the voice of the moment, he had this thing about releasing singles so that they are relevant, not in 6 months time when the record would be sent off for Vinyl because the news cycle changes so fast, it needed to be about what’s happening NOW. And it was Greta. Simple as that. Like it was the album ethos that affected his choice. It’s just that he’s usually irreverent and gets ticked off by outdated societal attitudes so it shows in his work and personality. But he’s not like deliberately being woke to make a point. So when she says he’s uncomfortable with fans praising his morality….but the article is doing exactly that. Do you see what I mean by she doesn’t get it?

The thing about Matty is, though he might deliver certain lines, jokes, or statements with a straight face, he’s not a serious guy. Like he doesn’t take himself seriously. That’s I guess why he comes off as a “troll.” He’s the sort of person that you have to tilt your head a tiny bit in order to see him clearly. And….she’s not tilting her head when writing about him. So, she captures SOME of his traits, but it’s foggy and out of context and comes off as kind of….I don’t know what the verbal equivalence of guy in black and white French movie sipping a coffee outside a cafe and twirling his thin mustache. You know what I mean? Makes him seem too overly philosophical when the first line in the article says that he hates the idea of artists being liberal academics.

And I don’t know who commissioned the article: whether it was jamie/dirty hit. Or The New Yorker approaching Matty, or as the swifties claimed “Taylor’s team wanting good press for him.” But if the goal of it was to introduce him to a wider public than his fans who already know him, then that’s not a great image of him. Makes me seem like the kinda guy you meet in your first year philosophy seminar. Also i don’t know that the New Yorkers subscribers are the target audience of the 1975 haha. I say that as a former subscriber myself. Keyword: FORMER.

IRONY! That’s the word I’m looking for!!! Matty is a pretty ironic guy, and The New Yorker takes itself

Too seriously to have fun and play with irony. That’s it!

Coulda just said those two sentences lmao. Anyways yeah. I hope this makes any sense???

[purplesurveys]

1596

Is Christmas your all-time favorite holiday? If so, why? I count my birthday as a holiday, and that’s actually my favorite one – I’m more intense with preparations and treats on my birthday than any other holiday. I feel like my overall feelings about Christmas are dulled knowing the reason why it’s even celebrated in the first place. I’m here just for the food and the 2-week company shutdown I get to enjoy, lol. Is Christmas more about presents or family? Family (and food, haha). Never been about the presents for me in the sense that I wouldn’t mind if someone didn’t have a gift for me; I do like getting presents for my loved ones though, just to let them know they’re always in my thoughts.

Do you have your Christmas tree and decorations up? We have a Christmas tree that’s bombarded with decorations, and we we put that up starting either late October or early November. We used to have a wreath by our front door, too, but we haven’t done that in a few years.

Do you even decorate? Yeah, just the tree. It’s filled with every kind of Christmas tree trinket you can think of, though.

Have you ever told a person that they are all you want for Christmas? Nah, not even with my last partner. I find it too cringey lol.

What are you hoping to get this Christmas? All I asked for is anything with BTS’ faces on it, doesn’t matter if it’s an authentic product or fanmade or replicas, to make it easier for everyone who might have no clue what to get me. But really, I’m fine with anything and nothing. It sounds so pretentious LOL but honestly the effort and presence of family and friends alone is enough.

By any chance is it a game console? I don’t think I ever asked for a game console for Christmas, this year being no exception; we weren’t the most well-off family in my childhood years and I didn’t want to put any more pressure for my parents.

Do you even make Christmas lists? I make Christmas shopping lists, if that’s what you mean. Mine is more or less done, just have around 4-5 people to buy for and I’ll be all set.

Are you grateful with anything you get for Christmas? Yes. Comes with the upbringing. I have relatives who have difficulties getting by, so if I get anything from them at all I know it must have taken lots of effort and thought. I’m grateful for literally anything and I make sure to use everything I receive, whether it’s a generic mug or headband or phone stand or whatever.

Have you ever given away a gift because you didn't like it? No. I’m honestly just genuinely grateful for any gift I get! And I like to make good use of every single one.

Have you ever gotten a gift that you felt like you couldn't accept? Yeah, last year my friends got together and we basically exchanged K-pop merch with one another so I felt super shy accepting what they got me! I feel like I felt this the most with Reena’s gift - a picket of Taehyung, hahaha.

Are you going to do any traveling this Christmas? Just short-term trips - we’re heading south on the 25th to gather with my dad’s side. We also have a quick vacation the weekend immediately after New Year’s.

Is anyone coming to visit you for Christmas? No, we’re the ones doing all the visiting.

In your opinion, what is Christmas really all about? Spending time with family that you only get to see during this time of the year.

Do you enjoy the 25 days of Christmas on some TV channels? I have no clue what this means.

What Christmas movie is your favorite? Love Actually and It’s A Wonderful Life!

Have you seen 'A Christmas Story'? If so, did you like it? I haven’t seen it.

Do you think that 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' is lame or classic? I’ve never seen that either.

What is the first Christmas movie you have seen this month? Haven’t watched anything Christmas-y so far. The only thing I’ve binge-watched is Breaking Bad, and that is the furthest thing that would give you holiday vibes lol.

Do you enjoy listening to Christmas music? Eh, not really. I like the jazzy kinds, but overall I rarely turn on Christmas playlists. Mariah Carey, Michael Buble, and Friends™ are way too overplayed during the holiday season anyway.

Do you really get involved in the Christmas spirit? Idk what this question is trying to ask, so I guess not. Like I said, I am largely here for the food and the 2-week vacation I get to get, lol.

Does the Christmas environment make you feel comfortable? You know what? I’m really glad and grateful that it’s been starting to actually feel that way. I had the worst seasonal depression every single year a while back, and Christmas was always something I dreaded. If I wasn’t in a family reunion that I didn’t want to be in, I kept myself locked in my room where I watched whatever comfort show I felt like watching. Not the case anymore.

Do you donate toys for the toy drive this time of year? Not toys. But I’m looking at donating money for a few animal shelters I follow. When I’m able to save up more, I’d love to give in-kind donations, like leashes, pet food, etc.

What is the best Christmas gift you have ever received? Paramore tickets.

Have you ever cried on Christmas day? Maybe Christmas 2020 because it was my first post-breakup Christmas? Idk I barely remember anything from the time but I’m not ruling out crying.

Are you usually the first one to wake up on Christmas day? I haven’t noticed. Probably not.

Are your favorite colors red and green? No, my current favorite is purple.

What colors do you like to see in Christmas lights? Yellow.

Have you ever helped your friends decorate for Christmas? No, that’s usually a family thing where I’m from, and I’m not about to interrupt their own decorating sesh.

Do your Christmas decorations stay up until New Year's? Until the end of January; that’s how long the Christmas season is here.

Are you usually the one that takes down the decorations? Our entire family does, since we have a million Christmas tree decors up.

In your opinion, what is the best gift you have ever given someone? Unfortunately that title belongs to stuff I’ve given my last partner; I always went down the sentimental path when it came to giving them gifts, so there were a few presents that I was a little prouder of. But putting that aside, probably the film camera I’m getting my cousin and his fiancée this year! They recently got engaged, so I thought of getting them that so they can capture more 2023 memories the old-school way.

Have you ever given someone a gift they didn't like? I’m sure. Nobody can get it right all the time. < This. I’ve had to be resourceful in the past when I wasn’t earning yet, and I’m sure I had misses here and there.

Is it really the thought that counts? Yeah. Again, it all boils down to perspective since I have loved ones who aren’t the most well-off but insist on buying presents. I’m grateful for anything I receive even if I never really expect stuff from anyone. 

Do you throw Christmas parties every year? Well our house is a little farther than everyone else’s and is also a bitch to get to, so as much as we want to host parties we don’t really do so to avoid hassling people. We’re the ones who do the visiting. I host parties for other stuff though, like if there are online BTS concerts to watch.

Do you even enjoy Christmas parties? Yeah, but it depends on the crowd. Parties with family and friends are great, but my social battery drains out faster if I’m at like a company Christmas party.

What happened on the worst Christmas you ever had? I’d say 2020 because I had to fake a smile through most of it when I was crushingly depressed inside. But it also allowed me to recognize the people and things I did have around me.

Has Christmas been on your mind more and more as the days go by? It’s barely in my mind, honestly. I can’t even believe it’s already the 21st -- I have none of my presents wrapped, and tomorrow I still have to shop for 3 more people lol. I’m mostly ecstatic that I get 2 weeks off work and want to focus on resting up and powering up for 2023.

Do you usually count down the days until Christmas? Only as a kid, when Christmas used to feel a lot bigger and more exciting. Only thing I’m counting down for anymore is Jin’s discharge from the military...

Do you know people who hate Christmas? I used to – the person was me. These days I don’t think anyone I know hates the holidays.

What age did you stop believing in Santa Clause? I never believed tbh and I remember being 4 or 5 and questioning his ‘midnight visits.’ I didn’t understand why I had to be asleep for him to drop by.

Do you host any kind of Christmas event or help with it? Starting last year my Army friends and I get together for Christmas to exchange gifts and have some drinks, and we plan that out together. This year’s gathering is going to be tomorrow.

Do you like eggnog? I’ve never tried but I’d love to have it someday!

Have you ever done a 'Secret Santa'? Yes, monito-monita is a big tradition in our extended family, on my mom’s side, and we’ve been doing it...pretty much the entire time I’ve been alive, lol.

Do you hate to see people sad on Christmas? I mean, I don’t like seeing people sad at any time of the year. < This is true. To answer the question more directly though, I guess I feel for people who don’t want to be alone on Christmas but end up so.

Have you ever ruined someone else's Christmas? I hope not? Idk for sure.

Do you decorate any online profiles for Christmas? No.

If you could live Christmas over day after day, would you? No. Imagine how tiring/draining that would be...

Do you have any pets that you buy Christmas presents for? No, it’s not like they can grasp the context of Christmas lol. Their dinners during this time of the year get a whole lot fancier though LOL

Are you or have you ever been in a Christmas play? If so, which one was it? Nopes.

Does Christmas get old year after year? Not for me, but I empathize with people who feel this way. Personally, I feel that it doesn’t get ‘old’ per se; it’s just that the older you get, the bigger shoes you have to fill, you know? You start to be the grownup who helps the other grownups in organizing parties, who has to think of nieces and nephews and family friends to give presents to, who has to start paying attention on whether or not you’re keeping within budget, who has to focus on feeding people and making sure everyone comes home full, etc. Christmas is largely a test of practicality for me at this point.

Do you like, love, or hate Christmas shopping? I dread it at the start when I open my shopping apps and there are like 47374934723822038207483 stuff to choose from. But being able to find a good gift for someone is always a nice feeling.

Has anyone ever ruined your Christmas? I remember having to take care of 50 work-related deliveries in the middle of Christmas in 2020. Same year I also had a client who needed reports to be done on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so I was literally working on my laptop while in the car and on the way to see family.

Have you witnessed your neighbors arguing on Christmas? (I have, bad scene) I haven’t. People are just karaokeing all over the place lol.

Are you working on Christmas? We have a company shutdown that started today and lasts until January 3rd, but of course that doesn’t permit us to completely shut off our lines from our clients. Urgent things that can’t be avoided still have to be attended to, of course, but in general we have these two weeks off to relax.

Have you ever had to work on Christmas? Yeah, I touched on that a bit earlier.

Have you ever lost someone special on Christmas? Fortunately not during the Christmas season. But like most people I’ve had to deal with those ‘first Christmases’ - first Christmas without a grandparent, a friend, a pet, etc who died earlier in the year.

Is Christmas better than New Year's or are they both equally awesome? I love New Year’s. It was always the more exciting holiday for me.

Are you really excited for Christmas? Not really, it’s just nice to be off work. < Completely this. 

Did you like this survey? I hope so. Well, bye! ^_^ Sure, thanks!

[krillissue]

15. a kiss to regret - hornwood

I decided to kick off Mwahrch with a prompt I chose myself! I've been meaning to write a little drabble about Vampwood and Midvalley for @dastardlydandy so I hope you enjoy this little snack! This takes place before he meets Vash and the events of In Sanguine, Veritas.

includes: blood drinking, vampire bite, sloppy make outs in dark alleys (my specialty)

Nicholas D. Wolfwood was a man of many talents but listening to jazz without pulling a sour face wasn’t one of them. As much as he appreciated his co-worker’s effectiveness in combat, that shouldn’t mean he had to suffer through the jazz concert before they actually got to work. He wanted to claw his ears at the pretentious jackass playing up on stage, Midvalley the Hornfreak. 

The guy had his little band, his ridiculous purple suit, his infuriating smirk. Sure, he sympathized with his distrust in Knives and his disillusionment with the Eye, but that was where their similarities ended. They got assigned for a job together but this was just a quick pit stop to get Wolfwood fed. 

He couldn’t focus on the patrons however, his thoughts drowned out by the aggravating tooting. Not even his cheap whiskey could make this sound less like nails on a chalkboard. He knew Hornfreak was a talented musician, that this was damn good jazz, but that didn’t mean he liked it. How they’d even found a jazz club was beyond him, the sparse clientele politely clapping for him. 

There was a pretty redhead near the bar that had caught his eye but she was too enraptured by Midvalley to notice him. He couldn’t blame her, honestly. Compared to the saxophonist, he looked downright disheveled. His dark grey button-up was half done up, his ill-fitting black slacks a far-cry from the stuffy suits so many of these folks were wearing. 

Midvalley was a siren, he could capture the attention of any audience. It just didn’t work on him, vampires having a natural affinity for resisting charms. But why he chose jazz of all things to lure in his prey was beyond him. 

Wolfwood finally got fed-up with his smooth jazz and went to the bathroom to just get some peace and quiet. Except the concert was being piped in over a speaker. In frustration he left completely, smoking out back with the trash. Hopefully Midvalley left without him and he’d be spared the guy’s company any longer. He pissed him off, that was just a fact. 

“What are you doing out here, Punisher?” Midvalley’s smooth voice cut through his thoughts about punching that handsome face of his. “Didn’t like the show?” 

“You know I didn’t,” He sighed, flicking his cigarette away. Midvalley always complained the smoke was bad for his lungs. So he lit up a fresh one just to blow it in his face. 

“Did you at least get something to drink?” He frowned and stepped in closer, setting down his saxophone case. “Because we need to get going rather soon.” 

“You’re the one who wanted to stop here!” Wolfwood shoved him in the chest, getting up in his face. He was hungry, almost starving, and the Hornfreak smelled good as much as he was loath to admit it. 

“What are we to do, then?” He plucked the cigarette from Nicholas’s lips and examined it, a sour look on his face. “You need to eat something.” He closed the distance, leaning on his arm to cage him in. Wolfwood bared his fangs, resisting the urge to bite the hand that cupped his jaw. 

He wanted to get fed, he hated this guy’s guts. 

But that was pretty hot. 

“You think I wanna drink from you?” Wolfwood looked at the exposed neck next to his open lavender shirt, swallowing thickly. 

“I think so, yeah. It doesn’t have to mean anything, Punisher. I’m just helping you out.” 

“Do you have to be a dick about it or is that just for fun?” 

Midvalley rolled his eyes and huffed out the dryest laugh he’d ever heard. Wolfwood inched closer, nosing along his throat. It was normally foolish to drink from here but he didn’t really care if Midvalley got hurt and it would be over quicker. His hand was in his hair, something Nicholas was trying not to think about. But when his lips brushed that soft skin, Midvalley grunted approvingly. 

Maybe he’d been reading things wrong. 

Wolfwood sank his fangs into his throat, drinking from him messily. Blood splattered on his crisp tailored suit and would undoubtedly stain, something that filled him with smug satisfaction. He deserved it, being brought low like all the other sinners he pretended to be so above. Just like that insufferable Bluesummers. He yanked him closer to drink deeper, his blood singing through his veins. Midvalley tasted different from a human, something distinctly wistful and alluring. He tasted like freedom. He grabbed Wolfwood’s hip to bring him in closer in turn, pressing him back against the wall. 

Nicholas licked the wounds clean before sucking his bloody fingers into his mouth. He really had made a mess of both of them. But Midvalley wasn’t satisfied, not yet. He crashed their mouths together with tongue and teeth, his wandering hand pressing sensitive keys along Wolfwood’s spine. He played him like his saxophone, stealing his breath. When he’d had his fill, he put the cigarette back between his lips and straightened out his jacket with a wink. 

“I’ll bill you for my dry cleaning. See you around, Punisher.” 

saw this on twitter and i wanna do it 🥺 send me numbers and a ship and i’ll write drabbles

[b0y1sh]

do u think i’ll ever drill it into my head that my environment would not change who i am and i have to actually do the work to be the idealistic person in my head ????? probably not