#i hope this community stays alive and cooking because it is seriously so wonderful and supportive and i just love it

[baddybaddyadardaddy]

Here I am feeling sick again remembering our Adar is really lost forever 😭. The grief keeps coming & going in waves. I just want to get through my day without the pain, damn. Sometimes I almost wish his character was never created. The loss of anything that could have been hurts too much 🖤💔

Off to write some elegies for him 🖋️

oh my dear, sweet anon.

please accept the tightest of hugs from me, and know that you are not alone in the grief over Adar. 🫂🫂

I have never mourned for a fictional character the way I'm mourning for him right now. As insane as it sounds, and as much as other people might not get it, grieving the loss of a fictional character is VALID.

Not only do we know we won't get to see him on the show again, there's also a heavy finality in knowing exactly how the story ENDS.

Now, it by no means will stop us from writing AU work and fix-it fics, speculating wildly, and doing everything we can to keep giving life to this character. But it does color the creative process in a different way, I think. Creating new work for Adar feels bittersweet now, in a way that it didn't before.

But I think we should keep creating!!!

So please, share your elegies with us!! Share everything with us!! This character stays alive now because of US!!

The Baddydaddy Brigade is here for you, mellon! Hang in there

[i-need-entertainment]

Mother-in-Law

Character: Adriah Thomas x reader I recommend listening to Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You by Frankie Valli (you will see why~)

(ALSO, idk if it is *Tomas* or *Thomas* but the fandom wiki thingy said ‘Thomas’ was the proper English translation so I went with that ;)

Warnings: Problematic/overbearing mother-in-law, mean words said by mother-in-law, reader having self doubt/being pressured, angst but then fluff.

I hope this is okay Anon! I took a different approach with this one. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING HIM! You made me so so happy to have chosen ~Thomas~ because I am in love with him. Also, thank you very much for requesting!! :)

It’s been 4 months since you had officially become Mrs. Adriah Thomas. And in all honesty, things were going pretty well! Your wedding had gone very smoothly; Inunaki had been the best man, Meian and Barnes cried, and having the MSBY four™ as the other groomsmen is always guaranteed to be…interesting. All in all, life was going pretty great! There was just one problem. One everlasting thorn in your side. Your mother-in-law. 

She had never been a big fan of yours and you can’t exactly say you loved her either. When you and Adriah had been dating she had been nothing but callous towards you. No one was good enough for her son, and she made sure you knew that. You did everything you could to be liked by her, I mean you were a good girlfriend, and now you were a good wife! You made her son very happy and you took good care of him. But it didn’t matter, because at the end of the day you married her precious son, and you could never be good enough in her eyes. Tonight would be a dreaded date. It was the second Tuesday of the month, meaning you and Adriah had his parents over for dinner. Adriah wasn’t stupid, he knew you and his mom didn’t get along, and he completely understood! I mean, having been raised by her he knew first hand how…difficult…she could be. But, she was still his mom who he loved very much. To try and avoid future conflicts, you guys had talked it through (communication is key!) and come to a compromise. You would do your best to get along with his mom, but if she was still being difficult you guys would let it go and keep trying. Currently the two of you were cooking dinner together in the kitchen, which was something the two of you often did. You were sautéing some vegetables when you felt two strong arms wrap tightly around you, you then felt Adriah’s head touch itself into your neck. He continued to sing the song the two of you had playing in the back ground; “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” by Frankie Valli. You smiled and sung along with him; it had been your wedding song after all. The vegetables were done cooking so you turned off the burner and moved the pan to the side, Adriah quickly but carefully spun you towards him, putting one arm around your waist and the other delicately holding your hand. You laughed as you put your other hand on the arm that was holding your waist. (Yes, typically it would be around his neck, but the man is 6’7. I’m 5’9 and I’m not sure I could reach his neck!!) “Are you thinking about tonight again?” You looked up at your husband before you laid your head on his chest, “I just- I want to get along with her, I do! But she makes it so difficult. I just, I don’t know what to do anymore.” He smiled as he leaned down, putting his forehead against yours as you both continued to sway to the song. “There’s not really anything we can do…just try and keep the peace.” When the song finished the two of you got back to work on dinner. You had just finished when the doorbell rang. “Honey can you get the door? I can finish up in here.” Adriah nodded, gave you a quick kiss and went to unlock the door letting in his parents. They came in and greeted their son, his dad giving him a strong hug and his mother practically smothering him. His dad came into the kitchen and greeted you; he had always been very nice to you. (it was clear which of his parents Adriah took after..) While his mother passed by, gave you a fake smile and very enthusiastically said hello. “Dinner will be ready in about five minutes, so you guys can go ahead and sit at the table if you’d like.” They nodded and headed into the dining room. Just about 5 minutes later dinner was ready and you took it into the dining room. 15 minutes had gone by, 15 peaceful minutes, “So, Y/n, are you still working?” 15 whole minutes. But she just HAD to ruin it. You put on a smile, albeit forced, and nodded. You and Adriah met at work; the MSBY Black Jackals. You worked as the Exercise Physiologist for MSBY (an Exercise Physiologist is like a physical therapist *but with less schooling* combined with an athletic trainer, they’re really cool and I might do this as a career…) which just so happens to be how you met Adriah. This had been one of the many conflicts you had had with your mother-in-law. She thought you should stay home and be a house wife…since Adriah already made quite a bit of money being a professional player, and a very good one at that. “I am, yes.” She hummed, sounding less than impressed as per usual. “So, when are the two of you going to have your first child?” You choked on your food as Adriah’s dad handed you some water, “Mom! We’ve been married for 4 months!” She raised an eye brow at her son. “And…? You both are quite old already. By the time I was your age I was done having you and your siblings.” You held your tongue. You and Adriah were 27, and to some it may seem like you had waited a long time to get married, when in reality it had only been 3 years. You guys had gotten married when you both felt ready, and while you both wanted children and a family, you wanted to wait at least a year until you more seriously thought about it!! “You know, you’re not getting any younger Y/n, your body is on a clock after all. If you wait too long to have children, you won’t be able to have them at all, then what kind of wife would you be?” The table went silent. She tended to have that effect on occasions like this one. You stood up, “Please excuse me, I’m not feeling well.” And walked into yours and Adriah’s bedroom, shutting the door before you sat on the edge of the bed, tears finally breaking free and rolling down your cheeks. If there was one thing you disliked the most about your mother-in-law was the fact that she always managed to find the things that hurt; and then exploit them, even if you never said them out loud. One of the things you had been stressing over is exactly what she had brought up, ‘Am I a good wife…?’ You did your best to be the best spouse you could, you always made sure you communicated your feelings and listened when Adriah communicated his, you did your best to spend personal time with him as well as giving each other space and the list goes on. Yet whenever she comes, you always felt like you were never good enough. ‘What kind of wife can’t even get along with her husband’s mother?!’ You tried not to doubt, you did! But it was so hard when she was constantly reminding you of your “downfalls” even if there wasn’t a problem with how you were doing things! You loved and cared for her son, what more could she want?! *Knock knock* A knock at the door disrupted you from your thoughts. “Y/n…? It’s Adriah, can I come in?” You wiped your tears the best you could, took a deep breath and spoke a small, ‘yeah’. He opened the door and gave you a soft smile, walking over to kneel in front of you. “Dad took mom home, he sent his best regards.” You laughed a little, “He’s so sweet, I wonder where you got that from.” He lightly chuckled as he used his fingers to wipe the tears from your face, his usual smile turning into a frown. “…You’re not a bad wife.” You nodded, “You’re my best friend, and I couldn’t be happier to spend the rest of my life with you.” You nodded. “Y/n,” You looked up from the floor into your husband’s beautiful dark eyes. He got up from the floor and sat beside you on the bed, turning just enough so he could pull you to sit in his lap, strong arms holding you securely to his chest as his heartbeat soothed you. The two of you sat in silence for a while, enjoying the comfort you both got from being in the other’s embrace. “…I’m sorry….I’m sorry for doubting…I’m sorry for ruining tonight…” Adriah smiled as he shook his head, pulling away slightly so he could look you in the eyes. “Why? You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay to be upset; especially after that just don’t hide it from me, then I can’t help you. And you definitely didn’t ruin dinner, it was long gone before you walked out.” You laughed, snuggling further into your tall husband. “You’re just too good to be true~ Can’t take my eyes off of you~” He started to sing the song again as you giggled, him wrapping his arms around you even tighter as he began to sway the two of you. “NO I’m trying to be sad, you’re not helping!” You joked as he laughed, standing up as he started dancing around the room, you desperately trying to catch up. “You’d be like heaven to touch,” He paused to give you a big kiss on the cheek, “I wanna hold you so much” You smiled as you finally managed to match his pace, deciding to sing along, “At long last, love has arrived, and I thank God I’m alive,” You pulled away from his embrace to look him in the eyes, him giving the back of your hand a kiss as he continued to hold it. So yes, you had a pretty terrible mother-in-law, and no you don’t know when that will change. But until it does you know your wonderful, adorable, loving husband will always be there for you. “You’re just too good to be true~ Can’t take my eyes off of you~”

[wherearemyglassesbro]

If you could put any character into Hetalia what country would they be

Oooo!!

Mexico: OH BOY!! If Mexico isn’t introduced as a woman I will 1000% go bonkers. She has so much potential! Here we go. Mexico is a strong willed woman with curly hair and a confident air around her 24/7. She doesn’t like to speak English so she will only speak Spanish, especially with America, she won’t speak English with him just because. She is very passionate about her country’s rich history and will educate anyone who is interested, she doesn’t discriminate, she’s excited to share her culture with others :) She is very involved with children. She visits orphanages and hospitals to see them and tell them stories! She takes Mexican holidays very seriously and she puts photos of old friends on her alter during Dia de los Muertos to keep their memories alive long after their families are gone, she believes she owes it to them :’) She also has a HUGE passion for quinceneras ooooh my gosh!! She throws about six every year for families who can’t afford big parties, she throws them herself with her own government allowance! She makes the dress, books a nice venue and buys tons of flowers ‘every girl deserves to have her own special moment’ and you can bet that when the girls dance with their dads she has to excuse herself to cry happy tears in the bathroom. She often goes to church and she has crosses and statues of Jesus adorning her house because it makes her feel safe and comforted to have Him there to watch over her. Lastly, she knows she shouldn’t feed stray dogs. She’s been told not to....But she leaves seven dog bowls out at night for hungryc homeless doggies :’)

Azerbaijan: Azerbaijan would be a tall, slender woman with with deep brown eyes. She’s very stylish and has three closets worth of beautiful dresses, especially dresses that are yellow, orange and peach since she thinks they suit her best. She’s a Muslim woman but she doesn’t wear hijabs, they are not very common in her country at all so she doesn’t wear them. However, she has a collection of hijabs in every color just in case she may want to wear one. She’s kind but if she sees people littering or graffiti-ing buildings she will stomp over there and tell them off, she fears no man!! She loves children and goes out of her way to greet them and compliment their clothes or something like that. She’s fluent in many languages and often pretends she doesn’t speak English because she prefers her own language, Russian and French. She is very traditional when it comes to tea culture and hospitality. She’s a wonderful woman who loves her people very much!! :)

Ethiopia: Miss Ethiopia is so strong dude, she can easily toss a man in a river if she wanted to. She says she doesn’t like violence but she does get a kick out of putting men in their place if she has to. She does NOT mess around!!! She can’t stand liars, she refuses to associate with them. She almost always tells the truth, it is very important to her. If the government wants her to lie to her people, she will not. She does not enjoy living in her capital, it’s too stuffy and crowded for her!! And she doesn’t really like modern clothing so she sticks to her traditional clothes, which she mostly makes herself. Her hair is usually very intricate, she spends a long time braiding it. She loves her natural hair and does everything she can to keep it healthy :) She travels all over her country constantly she’s never in one place for too long. She rarely goes to world meetings just because she doesn’t...like to go. She sees them as a waste of time since she could be back at home with her people. She’s very involved with them!! She has a medical license so she helps sick men, women and children who may not have access to medical help. She loves her people so much and has dedicated most of her life to them, she’s selfless and a role model :’)

Greenland: He’s a strong boy who’s about 17-18 physically. He lives close with his citizens and is very social! He’s very involved in the community, more than happy to help whoever needs it! A woman needs help with her baby? He’s there to help! Someone’s stuck out on the water? No worries, he’s gonna go get his boat and help them back to shore! He sticks to where his people are and will move with them. If a city becomes less popular he’ll move to be close to others. When he was young he was alone a lot so staying close to his people is very very important to him! He doesn’t get invited to as many of Nordic events like Iceland does so he’s a bit bitter about that though he’d never admit it.

Jamaica: Miss Jamaica is a very strong woman. She is proud to be Jamaican and will let everybody know it! She goes to church every Sunday and helps out within the church community. Helping the elderly is very important to her, she sees people disregard the elderly a lot in the world so she sees it as her duty to help them! She dedicates Monday and Wednesday afternoons to helping out her elderly friends by cooking, cleaning and just socializing with them especially if they have no other family. It’s stereotypical but she loves when tourists come to Jamaica for Bob Marley’s birthday concert because seeing everyone bond over music and food like that makes her incredibly happy!! She’ll even set up a tent to make food for people too! And speaking of food, she knows how to cook, man!!! She can cook circles around most nations! She puts in a ton of spices and sings while cooking and she invites all of her neighbors over for cook outs as often as she can cause she just!! Loves to cook! And now she gets to share with her neighbors :) She’s a very kind woman but Dont underestimate her cause she can and will beat your ass u_u

Hawaii: I’m not really into statetalia at all but I imagine that Hawaii still has a representation around despite being part of the US. We’ve got another beautiful woman!! She’s about 5’6 with waist length hair that she’s been growing out for years. She is very passionate about conserving Hawaiian traditions so she teaches children the art of hula and passes down legends and stories of the spirits. Her arms and legs are decorated with tribal tattoos that she updates every decade or so since nation bodies reject ink over time. She often attends protests because she doesn’t want her land to be taken over by pipes or buildings. She gladly welcomes tourists, she loves showing off her culture to those who are curious about it because it’s so fun to see their eyes light up when they see traditional dances or fire stunts!

Most of these are women but there are like 4 female nations rn theyre all men which isn’t bad but female nations are even more interesting to me since women are constantly underestimated y’know. I hope I got this right, I did a lot of research first about these places. I think they’re all very beautiful places!!

[najatheangel]

Hello!!! ✨ And here I am again!!hahaha I can't, I really love your ships!!

Can I have a written ship this time? With Nct 127, Exo and Got7, please? 🌸

Here is a description of my personality!

I'm really shy and extremely awkward. I'm not good at expressing myself talking, I speak in a low volume, I get really insecure because of it, and it takes me sometime to open up, so people need to be a little patient to get to know me. Sometimes I fear I'm a pushover because of my shyness and akwardness, although I try my best to not freeze at social interactions ahahha. I have a great fear of hurting people with my words and my actions, so I think a lot before I do something. But I'm actually friendly, I'm always smiling while talking, and I accept everyone with my whole heart. I never judge people, and try to understand every point of view. When I'm comfortable enough, I'm really goofy, playful and unintentionally funny. My friends say I'm an adorable cute little person (but weird and random too). I'm naturally quiet, a good listener,sensitive,kind, understanding,calm and open minded.I always try to be positive. Even though I don't speak much in a discussion, people always ask my for my opinion, and take the things I say seriously. I like making people's life easier and happier, so I'm usually silently doing little daily things for them. The feeling that I'm useful to someone keeps me going. I'm really grateful for everyone who likes me. I prefer to be around chill, fun and simple people, because my mood gets easily influenced by the mood of the people around me. But I'm always up to help everyone. I'm a really simple person, that enjoy simple things. My hobbies are drawing,crafting,painting and cooking (I'm specially into arts). I enjoy reading too, specially detective books. I like staying home, but I don't mind going out with friends to get some food or taking some night walk. I love animals, of all kinds. Hate mean and rude people, conflict, prejudice, injustice. I'm loyal to my friends and family, and value them a lot. I need to be friends first before falling in love. But once I'm in love, I'm selfless, and give my everything. But I enjoy my freedom and privace, so I don't like too jealous people, who want to control everything I do. To me, trust is the most important thing in a relationship.

That's it!

Thank you so much again!

I hope you're doing well! Stay safe, healthy and happy! ✨

Hello love it’s nice too see you again my dear. It was nice getting to know you more. You seem like a very sweet and angelic person. Sorry for the long wait my dear here’s your ship. 😊💫

From NCT 127, I ship you...Taeil

Positive Side: The next Sun & Moon 2.0! Both of your personalities favor and work so well together. When you first meet NCT 127, Taeil was the first member that caught your eye, because of his shining presence and his sense of humor that made you smile so much. After months and months of getting close as friends, it developed into a wonderful love story. The members helped him set up a mini concert at your house singing your favorite sing with backup vocal line Haechan, Jungwoo, Doyoung and Mark. Since Mark is apart of every unit. You’ve gladly accepted his invitation whole heartedly and the rest was history. As far as hobbies, this man will do anything as long as you were apart of it. He would be a big supporter of your artwork and would even ask for a private art class so he can make a portrait of you. And Win win lol. He would even look up art project ideas with you on pinterest and start creating things with you along with Dreamies. Taeil can also be very adventurous by walking with you to the bookstore to buy detective books or take midnight walks at the park. Lastly, when you have your moments he would be the first to knock at your door and not leave your side until he made you smile. He is an affectionate person and would cry with you while cuddling you when you pour your emotions out to him whether good or bad. Although this man is small and acts like a precious baby sometimes, he would be saving all his love for you. 

Negative Side: Once you both started dating, it was still a long yet hard process to adjust to. Whenever it came to dealing with the haters that didn’t support your relationship, it would get to your head sometimes and you would be afraid to get too close to Taeil sometimes so it won’t cause confrontation with the media. One time the small amount of harsh comments led you to ignoring his phone calls and he caught you crying alone in the bathroom which made him upset. He tried to run to you to hug you, but you wanted to deal with this problem alone so he wouldn’t suffer with you. “I’m alright Taeil.” As patient as he normally is, he wanted to respect you by giving your privacy until you felt like you truly needed him. At that point he just sighs and walks in the living room. “Okay, just let me know if you need anything.” 

But...: Later that day you’ve realized it was for the best to confess to Taeil what emotions you’ve kept inside about everything involving your relationship. At the end of the day he was someone you can trust with all your secrets and can get you through this situation. After having the talk with him, he was so understanding and relieved that you finally wasn’t afraid to depend on him anymore. He gave you the tightest hug and the most passionate kiss that night reassuring you that everything was going to be okay as long as he was around. “No matter what part of the world I am, I will always run back to you.”

From Exo, I ship you with...Suho

Positive Side: This man is trying to make you his wifey for lifey. You both share the same goals when building friendships with people, being sweet, taking care of people around them and helping those who are in need. The devolopment of your friendship was so fast, but just like Taeil, becoming a couple was one hell of a ride. Deep down you both loved each other, but wanted to wait until the time was right and you both knew for sure the feeling was mutual. He would be the ultimate gentleman when your going out together, always going to art exhibits with you, taking millions of photos cause your his masterpiece ;) and even attempting to dance with you in public along to their music at the grocery store, but ends up feeling second hand embarrassment. I would too lol, still cute tho. He hardly feels awkward doing those things and just embraces it. He’s even suprised you with your first baby kitten and you both name him Buttercup. Lastly, you both share strong loyalty with each other no matter what. Overall this bond is too powerful and would be hard to tear apart.

Negative side: Suho would also find it hard to separate from you sometimes because he loves being with you most of the time. As far as dealing with your emotions, he wouldn’t want you to hide anything from him whether good or bad. He expects you two share everything together in the beginning of your relationship including thoughts, but it wasn’t that easy. Suho for the most part was understanding, but another part of him couldn’t stand leaving you alone to deal with those problems.

But...: Suho learned that he can’t pressure into speaking from your heart until the time was right. He also learned that he can’t baby you so much, because your his woman not his child or sister. Once you’ve started opening up more to him, he felt like the happiest man alive and gave you the tightest hug shedding tears. “You don’t ever have to deal with this alone, that’s what I’m here for. You got that?” The more comfortable you both communicated about your emotions, the easier it was to release instead of keeping it inside.

Anddd I’m deceased 😭😭👏🏽

From Got7, I ship you with...Youngjae

Positive Side: I remember shipping you with him before visually, but personality wise I ship it 10x harder. First of all, two shy innocent angels falling in love is straight k-drama vibes I’m getting. The more confident you’re around each other, the more flirty you two love birds become. He would always share home cooked meals with you, tell funny stories about how he’s always goofing off with crack7 and have heart to heart talks about any insecurities he has amongst himself. This bucket full of sunshine sometimes have his cloudy days as well and can relate to you in that sense which balances out. If one person was feeling down, the other lifts that person’s spirit up and encourage them to think positively. Youngjae would admire how you would take care of the other members and his cutie baby pup coco. Your the love of his life and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Negative Side: The only problem I can honestly think of is when your both having a bad day, you both tend to keep it to yourselves and not bother the other person about it. You both handle confrontation the same way, but it either can go good or bad. Youngjae on the other hand is worse at dealing with his emotions, because he doesn’t want to be sad infront of you and tends to lie only so you won’t worry about him so much. Once you find out either way your hurting for him and start “It’s not a big deal sweetie, it was just a few hate comments.” “It is a big deal Youngjae, I just can’t sit there and let those mean people do that to you. It’s disrespectful.”

But...: In the end, you don’t want to leave each other wounded and left alone to deal with the pain, so you come into his room leaning your head on his lap rubbing his thigh in silence until he was ready to talk. Even silent treatment would work for you two as long as you were next to each other, anything was possible. What makes it even better is that he’s not upset for too long and attacks you with warm hugs and pepper kisses your cheeks. “What would I do without you y/n? I feel so much stronger and better with you here beside me”

Out of everyone, I ship you with...either Taeil or Youngjae. Again couldn’t decide 😣

@thechoppersan My friend I hope you enjoyed this ship and it made you smile. Feel free to come back anytime angel. 😉☀️

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S21

What a tender intro omg also why is this filler so well animated

The introduction of modern technology will never not be funny to me. Kakashi on a laptop. Gaara sending emails. What has the ninja world come to 

I know it’s just superfluous background motion but that angry little cat design was amazing. Takes me tf out 

Hello again New English Iruka Voice time to feel slightly uncomfortable 

Doesn’t Inuyasha have a monopoly on this baby with a red ball imagery

Why! Is! No one! Making sure! Naruto is fed! He’s a baby!!!!!!

Naruto and Sasuke were such adorable children my heart

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THE FAMILY WHERE ONE OF THE CHILDREN IS JUST A FROG? WHO IS DOING THESE BACKGROUND ANIMATIONS?????

In case you thought I wasn’t being literal:

[Accompanying dialogue to this image: “Did you hear the rumours that Lord Fourth died because of him?” WHO IS THIS FROG CHILD WITH A VENDETTA AGAINST MINATO]

This ninja cowboy music seems slightly misplaced but okay

Hiruzen. U r the literal ninja president. Naruto is foraging in the forest for food bc no one is taking care of him! How r u like ‘Hahah I’m hungry too :D’ 

“The things that we inconsequential humans worry about are often very petty indeed” “You’re right” It’s Philosophy Hours ft. Pre-Schoolers 

“Are you sure these mushrooms are safe to eat? “Won’t know ‘til we eat ‘em” HIRUZEN PICK UP THE PHONE 

SCREAMS FIVE YEAR OLD NARUTO JUST JUMPED OFF THE HOKAGE MONUMENT AHHHHHH

I miss Neji :((((((((((((((((

“Please make sure that you look after Neji” show us Neji’s mum you cowards!!!

“You have to be more positive, and confident!” Nejiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii my boy

“I wish that I could switch places with you, big brother” There’s a lot to unpack here and I’m wildly concerned about all of it. This episode ought to be titled Konoha Desperately Requires Child Welfare Programs

Making an mini-episode which largely depicts Neji’s tragic backstory and centring its ending on Hinata seems like an odd angle to take

 “I’m alone. I don’t have anyone, but I never cry” NARUTOOOOO

KJHFKJHG THIS NINJA BASEBALL OUTRO I LOVE IT 

SASUKE USING HIS SHARINGAN TO CHEAT AT BASEBALL I WHEEZE

Also not that I don’t like Genma but why is he a central figure in this ending. Has he had more than a single conversation with Naruto in his life

Lmao @ Sasuke and Itachi’s child versions going back to having their adult voices. Pick a lane SP!!!

“Things in season are always cheap and tasty” “Oh, is that so, Sasuke? Hahaha” Sasuke learning about the ninja economy

“We’re going to visit your mother’s family” Two questions: 1) Aren’t your families the same family (eep) and 2) Don’t they all live in the same part of the village

90% of this dialogue is recycled from prior episodes except delivered more slowly and it’s a little confusing 

Itachi sure knows a lot about cooking for an eleven-year-old 

Sasuke being a clumsy child is such a cute character detail ahhhh I love him so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“[Confused laughter] You want to be like me?” What a Mood Itachi

Sakura’s hideout in the woods is so sweet yes 2 semi-normal childhoods

Poor little Sakura already concerned about her appearance they never let girls live do they

“You’re really cute Sakura, don’t hide it” Ino and Sakura are the most adorable children in the WORLD I love their relationship 4ever

“If she’s cute like you say, then I would love to meet her” who will stop all men

“But Ino, aren’t you good friends with Sakura?” “No, not really” Okay not to project but. I have a lot of thoughts on this narrative 

GASP Inner Sakura’s first appearance!!

Tiny Team 7 is all I need in the world honestly I would watch a whole show that was just those three growing up

I have only just now noticed Suigetsu as third baseman. This ninja baseball game and season in general raise so many questions

Noooo Gaara don’t cry you are gonna be so loved in the future

Rasa, can I just say, from the bottom of my heart, I’m going to yeet you into the sun

“When I look up at the sky, the pain inside my heart feels a little bit better” He’s like 4!!!!!!! >:(

“Instead of a mother, you get to have me, Lord Gaara” Yashamaru: Self-Diagnosed Mumncle 

Ngl baby Gaara’s recollection of Karura is nothing like she looked like

I really don’t care for this new Iruka voice I just keep listening to him like ‘that’s not the sound of Naruto’s dad!!’

I will admit him spooking the sleeping children was cute I don’t know why I always find that so funny kjhgkjhg

“Let me buy into this fight” who taught seven-year-old Naruto to gamble

Christ alive the implication that Naruto has been doing the sexy jutsu since he was seven who will put this boy in ninja therapy

If Orochimaru had just continued to be Jiraiya’s long-suffering friend he might be half-endearing but alas he is fecal matter personified 

“Come on out, I made plenty, so you might as well stay and eat” Hjgjfjgfgffg I’m not sure what’s funnier about this scene the implication that Obito and Rin both independently followed Kakashi home without noticing each other, or that Kakashi did notice and rather than question this turn of events was just like “Guess I should make more fish”

“When you’re older, do you think you’ll become a chef” I would pay to see the AU where Kakashi becomes a professional chef why couldn’t that have been his Road to Ninja persona 

Ngl I spent the first half of Kakashi’s minisode wondering if Sakumo was dead or simply too depressed to take care of Kakashi and I think dead is the less upsetting outcome 

“It’s no fun when you’re not around, Kakashi” Obitooooooooooooooo

I’m not saying it’s suspicious that Sakumo is given two different depictions of his grave site in the anime but Sakumo fucked an alien and I stand by that statement 

All I remember from Sasuke Shinden is that a character called Sasuke “Sassy” as a nickname and if they do that in the Eng dub I won’t survive

“[Deep sigh] Alright Sakura, what is it?” Fhfjhfkjh what’s your damage Kakashi can’t your kids come to visit when people start exploding

God Sakura and Ino’s relationship is the realest.... she went to the Hokage bc her gal was worried abt her family friend and then comforted her from her loss... the looooooooove

Hinata not to devalue your work in any way but why did u collapse after poking one (1) man in the chakra point isn’t gentle fist based in taijutsu

Fhjfhkjhf I’ve seen that gif before of Kakashi knowing that Sakura was thinking about Sasuke but it’s still funny

Sasuke just hanging in the woods with kittycats what kinda redemption journey is this lmao

Ehehehe I’m still not over the fact that Sasuke recognizes Sai’s jutsu and Kakashi uses it to communicate like there are six members of team 7 and this arc PROVES IT HELL YEAH

I can’t believe I forgot the circus ninja oh my god 

“There’s good money to be found for performers like us” MOVE OVER EXPLODING HUMANS WHERE’S MY EPISODE ABOUT THE NINJA CIRCUS 

Everyone always commenting on the pupils and sclera of the Hyuga and Uchiha but nobody caring about Old Man Demon Eyes from the Bamboo Village:

You’d think at this point no amount of genjutsu could traumatize Sasuke 

They’re leaning wholeheartedly into the ninja cowboy music

That is not how I thought they would pronounce “Sassy” this show is full of twists and turns

“What about reviving the Uchiha clan? You’re the lone survivor right?” said Chino, inquiring about when Sasuke was planning to have vaginal sex

“You really think you’re going to find him inside that seriously scary looking cave?” GASP IT’S TENZO TIME

AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE IT’S MY BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“You’re Sasuke, right?” asked Yamato, as if Sasuke had not provided the memorable introduction of stabbing a seasoned ANBU in the shoulder as a sixteen-year-old during a dramatic reunion with his team

“It would be easier for us to keep things coordinated, if you sent us progress reports as you went...” Okay not to be that gal but I love that Tenzo and Kakashi are an “us” in this mini-lecture about how Sasuke should call his father (Kakashi) more often

P sure that’s Yamato’s last speaking role goodbye sweet man we knew ye well

“So does this mean that you trust me?” GO TO JAIL OROCHIMARU

Every time that Orochimaru touches Sasuke I want to leap through the screen you leave that boy alone!!! Go! To! Jail!

Sasuke having to explain his social life to Taka is a dynamic I never knew I needed. What more do I want from Naruto than frames like this:

"By showing everyone that Sasuke isn’t in the Hidden Leaf Village and that he’s still out journeying around the world, it reduces the possibility that the village will be harmed” “So are you saying that Sasuke has to keep travelling forever” “That might be so” I can’t believe the entirety of Taka came up with a better explanation for Sasuke staying outside Konoha than Kishimoto himself

“Compared to me, the likelihood that Kabuto will return to evil is extremely low”

He still helped kill......... 40,000 people????? Okay dude

I CAN’T BELIEVE OROCHIMARU IS ACKNOWLEDGING HE IS STILL EVIL!!!! GO TO JAIL!!

I’m gonna pretend I don’t see Tenzo following Stranger Danger and he’s on vacation on a beach where he belongs

Fhjkhfkjhfkj what’s the meaning of this Orochimaru you’ve looked the same since you were 25:

Sasuke: No. She’s older than I am

Orochimaru: [Soft gasp] What?

Man I remember vaguely Sasuke being involved in this fight based on the Tenzo novel scene later on but hoo boy I do not like this

SCREAMMMM TENZO TRYING TO PROTECT PPL IN THE AREA HE’S HELPING

“I can’t make direct contact with him, so I better go now” I hope it is because you filed a restraining order, Yamato

“To increase the rarity, what I’ve even done is, had all but one person in a clan killed” at this point En Oyashiro is just trying to bait Sasuke

God I love how righteous Sasuke is being rn like this is the kind of dismantling of oppression I wanted for him instead of sad murder times

This battle is bonkers:

Villain: Looks like you brought a sword to a dodgeball fight

Sasuke: Looks like you brought a dodgeball to a magic eyes fight!!

Well I certainly breezed past this part of Sasuke Shinden hello Fushin

I find it hard to believe that anyone but Naruto could best Sasuke rn 

I keep joking that those eyes in the sky look like Tenzo but I’m right and I should say it

What a long, drawn-out and slightly suspicious backstory for Chino (looking at you, Fushin of two personality types)

“But now you’re still able to travel freely... and that is all because you have people who love and protect you” Team 7 cutaway with closeups of Sakura and Naruto, Narusasusaku game strong

“For the Leaf’s nourishment, your entire clan was absorbed by your village’s Roots” wow what a shitty time for such an excellent pun

Unbelievable kkhkjhfk and by this I mean completely believable:  

Chino: Please explain your change of heart re: village corruption

Sasuke: I got a boyfriend

Unbelievable x2:

Chino: KILL ME 

Sasuke: Consider this.... you have.... boy who is friend. Good enough

Chino: Wow Sasuke, you’re right

Lmao @ Kakashi proudly announcing that Sasuke is about to enter an unsanctioned jutsu fight in a bet to free enslaved people how did this letter go “Dear Hokage-dad-Kakashi, I am writing to inform you...”

Even funnier: If Tenzo wrote the letter bc Sasuke is shite at contacting people: “Dear Kakashi-senpai, Brace yourself to be worried and proud—”

“Are you Sasuke’s...” yes Chino, whatever the end of that sentence is, you’re correct

Huh I could’ve sworn at least a good chunk of these freed people go to the Leaf. I didn’t make that conversation up. I have discussed it many times!!! My poor Tenzo cut out for more logical story lines I guess 

Omggggggg the Raikage is telling Sasuke about Naruto’s most vulnerable Sasuke moment..... the love!!! Is this the only reason they invited A lmao

En Oyashiro joining Rasa and Hiashi in the Bad Dad Club

I’ve said this before but Naruto and Sakura going on a date to talk about Sasuke is the most legit representation for their relationship I’ve ever seen that’s it that’s what them dating would be like 

“You’re just like a one man police force” lol @ them cutting out the fact that Sakura said this bc Sakura’s not allowed to have individual connections to Sasuke and also just like....... how much Sasuke still wants to be a cop kjhgkjhgk baby stop

I’ve belatedly realized that Kakashi types to the beat of the intro music and it makes me giggle

“The adult world can be complicated” is that ur way of saying ‘nepotism’ Kakashi

“I’m startin’ to get a belly” “I don’t want to hear about all that” PLS

“You two are really the only ones who are special to me” aw Shikamaru

That slap was A  Lot, Temari, surely there are better ways to tell Shikamaru you want him to be your boyfriend

“You don’t really think that Sai has—” “Well, he is very innocent.” 

Kakashi about Sai: He’s the baby of the family

Sai: I’m the oldest and most experienced of all the youth???

Kakashi: I mark ur ages by when I got you xoxo ur legal age is 3

I’m not sure that that’s the intonation I expected for Hinoko but I guess that’s on me for stereotyping teen girls hahah

“That’s my ninja way” “Our ninja way” I feel like this is shinobi flirtation

The outro with Little Team 7 fading to Big Team 7... I have but one heart

Also the implication that they took a photo immediately post war jhgkjhgkj. Kakashi still has a barely healed stab wound and twenty years of trauma. Sasuke and Naruto both just lost an arm. Also who brought a camera to the battlefield. Who took this picture. (Tenzo waking up from a 224 episode coma: We gotta take a family photo)

“You might consider yourself a member of Team 7, but I wonder if they think the same of you” [Naruto voice] Believe it!!!!!!

“If we just kill the lookouts, it’ll be like easy to get past the checkpoint” okay calm down Soku

Lmao Shikamaru struggling to deal with rebellious teens jhghjkg why are the anime episodes I watch so fitting to my own life

Man not to get 2 real it’s fucked up that Soku fears peace wyd militarism 

I don’t really believe that Soku is deserting the village but it’s a good tactic

[Panning to the bird scene at the beginning of this arc] We call that foreshadowing

Komori’s judgement seems to be clouded by his lowkey crush on Soku

“I’ve just been having these really bizarre dreams lately” that’s PTSD Shikamaru

“Feudal lords are always [tyrants] no matter where you go” then why.... do you have.... feudalism.......... [Tobirama screams in the afterlife]

Not to judge these guys so much but like.... ur ANBU and a veteran ninja surely you should have a disguise after faking your death??????? Kakashi, Iruka, what shinobi standards are you teaching exactly?? U didn’t even change ur hairstyles???

“Something similar happened to me as well” what are you... are you talking about when you pretended to be asleep during the Chunin exams because that’s not the same thing as sleeping under a pile of corpses Shikamaru 

NOOOOOOOOOO SAI WHY ARE THEY HANGING MY ANGEL FROM A CRUCIFIX 

AHHHHHHH I don’t like seeing Sai like this, Kakashi’s right he’s a baby!!

“Let’s just say I’ve found the place where I belong” Fhdjskhfksjhf this is definitely Root Code for something because Kakashi uses this line on Tenzo in his Tsukuyomi dream

“Then why didn’t Naruto come to get me? You and I have never been particularly close, so why were you the one who came here?” LMAO SAI ‘you’re not on my list of eligible rescuers Shikamaru 😒😒😒😒’ 

“Fret not, to me this is but a trifle” said Ro, lying prostrate on the ground in between groans of pain (same)

I mean... Gengo makes some pretty compelling arguments abt the shinobi system

“The alliance of nations that the Leaf is currently a part of... is only going to maintain a dark, tenuous peace” I mean... Gengo’s right even if he is a dick

“Lord Hokage told me everything... and I had a hell of a time getting it out of him too” “I don’t want to know what you did... I don’t even want to imagine it” JHGKJHGKJHG I WANNA SEE TEMARI INTERROGATING A FORMER ANBU, KAGE-LEVEL NINJA I LOVE IT

Wait are these last twelve outros dedicated to each of the rookie teams + Team Guy bc that would be adorable

JHGJHGGHGJHG DO WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE TEMARI YELL AT KAKASHI

Update from 3 seconds later: We don’t but Kakashi’s “Euh?” sound as she knocks down his door is still very funny

“Friendship is useless” “If that’s true, then why are you crying right now” he’s been taking Sasuke lessons in his spare time

“Do you know of a man named ‘Zabuza Momochi’” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“These are my only friends” said Sai, about two giant cartoon lions 

Sai’s genjutsu scene was actually much sweeter in the book bc Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi and Yamato’s chakra were all protecting him inside his own mind but I don’t mind my boy getting a hug

HAHAHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CUTAWAY TO NARUTO BATHED IN GOLDEN LIGHT ANNOUNCING “RAMEN” LIKE IT’S A WHOLE SENTENCE OKAY STUDIO PIERROT U NEED A BREAK I GET IT

“What in the hell was that?” that was also my question Shikamaru

Shikamaru with full conviction: To be lazy.... that is my dream 

Hahahaha it’s Ninja Teen Romance Hours I guess

“Oh, you don’t want to [go out on a date]?” No that’s not what I’m saying” [walks away] TEMARI PLS

“Going on a date without a strategy, would be like trying to fight a tailed beast unarmed” [Nodding] “You have zero chance of winning, that way” I suddenly understand Kakashi’s dating life a lot more

They really rely on you being aware of Naruto the Last huh gjkhgkjhgk there’s been no mention in any of this filler of Naruto and Hinata even being in a relationship to this point as far as I remember

Fhjkfhkjhfkfh poor Iruka none of the kids know he’s President of the Naruto’s Dad Society

“I know I’m supposed to be striving to get ahead in my career, but there’s also a part of me that really wants to just continue teaching kids, one on one” Irukaaaaa <3333333

Looool even as Hokage, Kakashi just drops out of nowhere to give cryptic life advice and then leaves

Smash the statue, Tsukune, don’t let the establishment tell u what to do!!

“Eating ramen everyday isn’t healthy you know” am I to believe that Kakashi, the man who told Naruto, ‘if you're going to be a ninja, you need to eat your vegetables’ is on a ramen-only diet?? Falsehoods

“And it’s all thanks to you Iruka” khjhgkjhgjhg alright.... you win this round KKIR shippers

WHO IS ANIMATING THIS SCENE IT IS BUCKWILD??? There is no character model to speak of, most of the kids don’t have noses, everyone’s upside down or spinning around, and Iruka is... hiding in a frog sign???

There is no English translation of this caption???? EXPLAIN JAPAN. TELL ME YOUR FROG SECRETS YOU KNOW I LOVE FROGS [INSERT PICTURE OF TENZO HERE]

(Update I looked it up in the sub and the caption offers no more insight. “IRUKA UMINO, AROUND 30 YEARS OLD. STEALTHILY”)

“This is for Hinata, so let’s all try our hardest” Kiba loves Hinata MOST

You know how if you pause in the middle of an animated action, you sometimes linger on an in-between image that looks goofy because it was meant to add to the motion rather than be focused on? This whole episode is animated like one of those images

It’s okay Lee the only dumbbell Naruto is fixated on is Sasuke Uchiha

I know don’t usually post so many images in these liveblogs, but I really need anyone reading this to see the Leaf Village’s semi-canonical Unofficial Mascot Konorin:

He is??? The love of my life???

“I don’t even have a boyfriend and train every day from morning til night” yes you do. His name is Neji Hyuga and he’s very alive and he’s a jonin sensei and he will buy you all the knives you want after he takes all of Hiashi’s money and redistributes it. In this essay I will—

You see what I mean??? Neji wants to be there for Tenten (and Lee)!!!

Tenten: What would Neji do if he were here now

Neji: [starts manifesting]

“It’s you since you’re a taijutsu specialist, but Naruto and Hinata aren’t” yes????? Hinata is???? She doesn’t use weapons but Gentle Fist is entirely taijutsu??? Why does everyone keep forgetting

KHKGJHKJHGKFHKJHFKJ I CAN’T GET OVER NEJI JUST. MANIFESTING ABOVE LEE’S BED TO GIVE HIM SHITTY WEDDING GIFT IDEAS 

“And don’t forget: Hyuga” Neji........ what.... does this mean!!!!!!!!

Why say “Neji” like that Orochimaru and in fact why say anything at all [Konan voice] I’m the Hokage now, the entire criminal justice system is on its way you are going to jail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really can’t believe that the Naruto writers looked at Tenzo’s role in Naruto SD and decided “let’s do that.... but worse” 

They animated?????????? A smaller Lee??????????? Into Lee’s mouth???????????? As if the animation style wasn’t enough. I need a minute

They are really going full Naruto SD huh??? Cut away skit like a ‘genjutsu’ scne. Lee and Guy playing a married couple and Tenten a baby. Neji in drag. This is a choice

“How can you misunderstand Neji so much” “Even if it’s only as a ghost, I’m sure that Neji would appear” I need. Several minutes

Fhjkhfkjfh Shikamaru’s vision of Gaara, Bee, Kakashi and Tsunade hanging out at this fancy restaurant. Is this who he thinks Kakashi’s social circle is these days (he might be right)

“Okay, I’ll hear you out!” Is this implication of this scene that Temari thinks Shikamaru’s idea of a first date is marriage... and she’s WILLING TO GO ALONG WITH THAT. TEMARI PLS

“Hey Ino, why would you go out of your way to make something I love? Bc she looooves you Sakura

“Sakura, I thought the same thing” GOD JUST GET MARRIED

“It’ll be too late once we go in, I could get all caught up in the mood or something like that” wait........ does Temari think Shikamaru wants to get married or fuck???? Or both??? OH MY GOD

Gaara: Naruto’s getting married.... without meeeeeeeeeee

God I love Gaara’s Blank Period hair it is truly careless and happy hair

“His ramen’s extravagent?” JKGHKHKJH everyone in the Leaf Village trying to convince Gaara that Naruto’s taste is incredibly obnoxious which is true but not in the way being described 

Kankuro what’s your damage let Gaara buy a nice and personal present for the love of his life 

Every time I think this arc can’t get more ridiculous it exceeds my expectations:

[Vaguely horrified accompanying dialogue: “The Raikage—” “—Will do the Hidden Cloud Dance?”]

“Well then, Gaara is just going to have to do the Hidden Sand Samba” Ah. Of course. The Hidden Sand Samba. Why didn’t anyone think of this plan before

Gaara is blushing because his new dream is just to samba dance with Naruto into the night

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Teuchi giving Naruto an “all you can eat forever” coupon that’s cute our sweet boy is so loved 

Gaara: My wedding gift to you, Naruto... is me :)

“I’m just disappointed that we aren’t going to get to see you dance, Gaara” you know what that’s fair Kankuro me too 

Hahahaha Shino dissing Kiba’s plight for becoming Hokage to these random kids

I can’t pay attention to anything this ninja cat is saying because they’ve got Naruto’s voice and it is very distracting

There’s something to be curious about how it would be if Kiba married into a family that has a contract with the Uchiha lmao

Literally the girl who Kiba is supposed to be in love with is given Hinata’s voice #kibahinarights

“Oh, just take it. Money means nothing to me” the Beekeeper is truly one of the strangest characters in the Naruto universe just conceptually. Why are they wearing a giant bee stinger on their butt?

LMAO @ Kiba having absolutely no self-doubt whatsoever. Goals!!

Shino becoming a teacher after the war is actually one of the post-699 futures I like, good for him!

Iruka sweet man Naruto has compared you to a father like 1500 times have you not overheard him one (1) time

Kakashi is such a dumb stubborn bitch trying to find a way for Naruto to have a happy wedding... I love him

“This is my fault, I never taught him how to treat women! Not that I even really know about that kind of thing of course” Iruka Umino confirmed canonically gay

“I just have to bow my head a little” KKIR: 2; Me: 0

I love this tradition of Hokage boys bowing their heads for cooperation between villages yesssssssssssss

Outro for the whole OG Team 7.... I’m fine everything’s fine I’m good cool cool cool cool cool

The implication that they just sell Kakashi wigs in the village... amazing

I know this is about to be an emotionally poignant moment but what Naruto’s presence is reminding is that the only word he has said in the past 6 episodes is “ramen” LMAO

“I’m going to have to apologize to her for raising you as a such a thoughtless, inconsiderate man” raising you... RAISING YOU..................... TRULY PRESIDENT OF THE NARUTO’S DAD SOCIETY GOD BLESS IRUKA UMINO

LOOK AT THIS CRYBABY NINJA THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PARTS OF KONOHA HIDEN WAS HOW IRUKA KEPT BURSTING INTO TEARS OVER NARUTO EVERY OTHER MINUTE THIS IS WHAT BONDS LOOK LIKE

God..................... the Team 7 lover in me just despairs of this final episode bc they’re all separated and also Tenzo needs justice 4 being Kakashi’s co-wedding planner it’s in the book I read it!!!!

I will set aside my feelings to recognize that Kakashi looks very handsome

Goodbye Naruto you were certainly an experience and I mean that in every possible intonation 

[bryonysimcox]

Life in Lockdown: Week 8, Spain

It’s been seven of the weirdest days of our life: where the freedom of vanlife turned into quarantine in a 4m2 space. I look back on our documentary progress and life in València under lockdown.

The week started with the announcement that the biggest event in the Valèncian calendar, Las Fallas, was cancelled. This came as a real shock to us (just as I was wrapping up last week’s blog post) and at the time, almost felt like a bit of an over-reaction. Of course, those closely following the development of Coronavirus around the world, and particularly in nearby Italy, would understand the motivation behind such a big decision.

On Tuesday morning I attended a free event about Innovation and Design in cities, hosted by a group called ‘Designscapes’ who are conducting research on the topic in the hope of developing public policy. I’d been invited by Ramon Marrades who we’ve been working with at La Marina, and I quite enjoyed attending an academic event after being outside of the urban design industry for a while. I wrote an overview of some of the key takeaways from the event here, which included speakers from the International Centre for Design and Research, Aalborg University and The Tavistock Institute. Unfortunately, the event was considerably impacted by Coronavirus, and not only was attendance greatly reduced but many of the speakers were also unavailable to be present.

Attending the Designscapes Policy Forum was certainly a wake-up call about how seriously Covid-19 might begin to affect public gatherings, but I would still not believe the situation we’d be in just one week later!

While the cancellation of Las Fallas had affected some of our commercial work, the next few days felt as though most other things were unaffected. Plans for the documentary that our channel Broaden are making about La Marina charged ahead.

On Tuesday afternoon, we met up with Ramon to discuss people we’d like to interview about La Marina, València’s seriously impressive waterfront precinct. He took us inside ‘La Base’, the old headquarters for the Swiss Alinghi sailing team, a relic from when València hosted the America’s Cup back in 2007. La Marina now uses the building for events and offices, and while it’s not yet used as often as it could, it has so much potential and is one of many cool assets in the marina.

(images, left to right) Attending the Designscapes forum on innovation in cities, enjoying the sunset on the marina blissfully unaware of the lockdown that would soon be in place, and moody scenes from inside ‘La Base’, a building full of potential.

Filming for the documentary began on Wednesday morning, when we interviewed Manoel, a charming guy who has worked at La Marina for over a decade. Starting out as a deck hand, Manoel is now a senior staff member managing the nautical side of the marina, with its hundreds of moorings and associated facilities. It was fascinating to learn more about the operational side of running a place like this, and we were even treated to a guided boat ride around the marina which offered such a different perspective on this place we’ve both been documenting and staying in for over a week.

The following afternoon, we filmed our second interview, this time with with Julia Pineda, a socially-oriented architect from the co-operative practice ‘Crearqcio’ who has worked closely with La Marina. I was especially interested in the community engagement she had done, and the participatory processes with local residents and other stakeholders to explore names for new streets and decide on future uses for buildings there.

As George and I continue to work together as a videography duo, we’re refining the process of interviewing people, arranging shoots, preparing equipment and getting the perfect footage.

(images, left to right) Taking a boat ride around La Marina, speaking to Julia in Crearqcio’s office, and interviewing Manoel on a gloriously sunny day for the documentary.

Friday the 13th did indeed turn out to be pretty unlucky, as that’s when the situation in Spain relating to Coronavirus really escalated. We managed to squeeze in another interview with a member of La Marina’s team, the third of five interviews we had planned. Barbara was really accommodating and positive on camera, but even just the general vibe in the office while we were filming communicated that things were about to dramatically change.

By early evening, we were informed that some of our other commercial work would have to be completely cancelled, as all operations in Spain were starting to completely shut down. 

It was Friday evening when warning came of the state of alarm which Spain was about to enter.

The declaration was made on Saturday: to ameliorate the spread of coronavirus, everyone in Spain is to stay at home, leaving the house only to buy groceries or medicine. All bars, restaurants, museums, cafes, and any other establishments that carry out public activity are to be closed and no one is to use public spaces. As the week continued, further measures have been put in place, such as the closure of the country’s land borders.

And that is pretty much when the predictability of my and George’s lives ended. Just like that: an extreme measure is brought into place which affects every aspect of your life - your income, your freedom to move, your travel plans, your activities and your family. Of course, that extreme measure has been brought into place because of an extreme situation, but if only I could warn Bryony from a week ago, perhaps I would have told her to prepare in some way. What might I have said? To stock up on food essentials, to buy a couple more books, to have more money saved up and most critically, to brace herself for the physical and emotional challenge of being confined to living exclusively inside Suzi the Van.

(images, left to right) Powering through confinement in a van by writing letters and eating icecream, George going a teeny tiny bit crazy in our mini house, and sitting just outside the van on my virtual ‘balcony’.

We have left the van once since Friday, to go out and buy some food. I’m someone who likes to get out and about, so this level of confinement is pretty intense.

Aside from the supermarket run (to Lidl, which was surprisingly well-stocked), George and I have ‘stayed at home’, here in Suzi at La Marina. I’ve been really keen to go and find a camping spot out in the countryside, where there might be more possibility of getting some fresh air and a walk, but we’re conscious that where we are right now has all the amenities we could need: flushing toilets, hot showers, a laundry, rubbish bins, water, drain, and even electricity (which we’ve resorted to using today amid stormy overcast weather). Plus, if the last week has taught us anything, it’s that you can’t be sure of how the next week may play out. The safest option is likely to stay put.

As people have reiterated online, a period of isolation is a pretty unique opportunity for many of us to indulge in activities we don’t get around to. Whilst I’m privileged to have already incorporated diary and blog writing as well as a lot of book-reading into my routine in the van, these last few days have seen me do that more than ever. I also made another collage, and even got around to editing together a collection of images I took back when I was working in Sydney. This short stop-motion animation (below) had me thinking about seeing something inspirational in the same repetitive scene.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bryony Simcox (@bryonysimcox) on Mar 16, 2020 at 9:42am PDT

Might isolation do wonders for society’s increasingly short attention span and need for variety?

The current situation is a bizarre mix of feeling very isolated and very connected all at the same time. George and I use our phones a lot, and get constant updates both from formal news outlets and from friends and family. Anecdotes from Sydney and the UK, where measures aren’t quite as extreme yet, contrast with the sobering sentiments of scientists on podcasts or videos of Italians and Chinese who have been dealing with a total lockdown far longer than we have.

At times, I’ve even turned my phone off to try and tune out of the noise. Now that George and I are in lockdown, we aren’t able to contract Covid-19 nor spread it. So to a certain extent I feel as though keeping up-to-date as the crisis unfolds only makes me feel increasingly miserable and helpless.

(images, left to right) The deserted walkway next to our van, empty offices at La Marina, and the beach as viewed from the closed gate which confines the part of the marina that we’re parked in.

If you let your mind project the implications of this virus in the future, it’s not too hard to find yourself in a dark place. Already, I see the failings of an economic system addicted to growth, the selfish panic-buying and disregard of facts by large swathes of people and the unfair advantage of exploitative multinational corporations. Take for example the fact that the aviation industry (led by millionaires, might I add) have banded together to ask for government payouts while young people, creatives, self-employed and zero-hour contract employees face a future of complete financial uncertainty.

I’m left asking questions like “how will people pay their rent?”, “where will this leave already vulnerable members of our society?” and “how will we even begin to rebuild life if and when this virus is tackled?”.

Of course, there are so many positive sides to be seen during this time too, and some of which offer answers to that last question. Already, we are seeing signs of generosity and kindness from health workers, neighbours, friends and strangers. We are seeing the emergence of an informal economy built on reciprocity and trust, where not just economic capital has value. We are seeing innovation on a massive scale, as people seek new ways of keeping their businesses alive, of cooking food with what’s left in their cupboards, of keeping the virus at bay and managing its spread, of boosting morale and of pooling resources.

(images) I’m trying to see beauty in things and keep positive-minded, even if that means snapping these colourful scenes from the desolate streets on our walk to the supermarket.

In some ways, perhaps we needed an event of this magnitude to shake up the entire way in which we exist, and to rethink our systems of living.

The irony is that we already have another event which threatens humanity in this way, but which we have been largely ignoring. This is, of course, climate change and the terrifying rate at which the earth is warming up. Mother Nature has been shouting about the catastrophe we are charging towards for some time now, and yet it has taken direct deaths on home soil and a tangible ‘thing’ like Covid-19 for us to react in a collective and decisive way. It also goes without saying, that my heart breaks for all of the victims of this terrible virus to date, and I would never wish that it would take fatalities to call us to action.

This blog is usually a very personal reflection on a very personal journey: where my partner George and I attempt to cross the world in an old Japanese campervan, making videos along the way. But the arrival of this virus and its direct impact on our journey has triggered a different type of reflection. Perhaps in the coming weeks, during which I presume we will remain in lockdown, I will continue to write and reflect on what I think it is to be human in a difficult time, and to assess the situation which we are now all in, together as humanity.

I hope that my writing brings us together in some way, across oceans, balconies and phone screens. Whilst I’m pretty sure that George and I will still be parked up in a marina on the Spanish coast this time next week, who knows where we’ll be, collectively? 

[devilsnwitches]

SSDD - Ch4 Crack the Shell

AO3 <Link - Written by @lynxtigerwritings & Me

Tags - Alternate Universe / Canon Divergent

Pairings - Vergil-OFC / Dante-OFC / Nero-Kyrie / V-OFC / Nero-V

(idk why the heck there’s like a constant link to a blog I don’t know? just ignore it?)

He didn’t need a babysitter, Charlotte knew that. The silence had rung out loud when he left, and Charlotte was a little concerned. She could guess that’s how he came to be so wounded. She knew that he probably wanted space, to clear his thoughts and mind, but she also wanted to offer a support system. It wasn’t hard to catch up with him, but she hoped that the distance she kept wasn’t too much and too weird. She also hoped that it gave him some comfort that someone was there.

The silence was hard. It was cold. Uncomfortable. Yet Charlotte didn’t feel like he was trying to push her away. They went around the block and then they went a different direction altogether. It was interesting to see the city as a pedestrian. The buildings were a little more crowded, held a lot more life. The landmarks she used to drive felt different too. Like she was seeing them from a whole new point of view. “I should do this more often.” She murmured to herself. Even the sun reflecting on the glass held a different sort of scene.

“Not many walk simply to walk, or see just to see,” Vergil cracked the silence on his end, hands buried into his jacket pockets and shoulders drawn tight, “It helps me think. Puts this energy, good or bad, to use.”

She could understand it. She used her own energy in a different way, but still comfortable. Charlotte jogged again to catch up. His legs were much longer than hers, so he took better and quicker strides. She brushed her hand against his shoulder but withdrew it quick. “Better than destroying something out of agony.”

“Such as a wall? Plates and furniture?” Vergil glanced at her from the corner of his eye, sighed through his nose and slowed his walk for her to a more casual amble, “My agony is how I lost my Yamato. Too blind to care to go back for it, and by then I was too far and I had tunnel vision.”

Charlotte felt his story was on the brink of being told. Her eyes went to his back, where the wound was still healing. The black veins and the skin flaking off. The air suddenly felt cooler, or maybe she recently felt the change in temperature. She was grateful for the slower pace, she could finally keep up without needing to jog. The walls and furniture were Yvette. Charlotte already knew that she was the glass breaking and the screaming. Screaming most definitely was her thing. “...I know it’s bold of me.” She said softly. “But you can lean on me. Nothing you say will pass my lips. You have my word.”

“I take people who give their word extremely seriously.” Vergil tensed a bit, “I’ve already been asked. I have not told much of anything.”

“I don’t believe in take backs.” Charlotte countered. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, just know that I’m listening, and if you don’t need me to listen but to support you in some way, I can do that too.”

A long drawn out silence stretched between them, his focus straight ahead for some time. He was used to people pestering, but Charlotte willingly kept her mouth closed, stubbornly or patiently waiting for him to crack again, either or both. It was mutual, but Vergil felt his chest tighten. His pain affected his demon, too. “I had no idea how long I had been gone until Dante informed me Nero hasn’t seen me for seven years.”

A long time. Charlotte blissfully stayed silent, knowing that there was more to this and Vergil didn’t need her to go poking at him. Seven years. That was a long time. Dante and Vergil were infamous for their relationship. Almost everyone in the demon hunter community knew that they didn’t really keep tabs on one another unless they had a reason. Seven years and Nero not even hearing a word? Now that was alarming. Charlotte wasn’t sure if she could handle waiting that long. No. She mused. She didn’t think she would. He was a strong man, who could handle a lot of things thrown his way, but he was half-human. He wasn’t invincible, even if the Sparda boys pretended that they were.

God, she wondered where that idea even came from. The idea that their father was a worshipped cult god or the facts of his military prowess. She supposed if it was her, a month would be enough to make her worry. It’d make her worry enough to go search.

“I never meant to leave him for that long. I am certain he knew things went downhill if he found the Yamato. It was always with me.” A turn down another street. “I am aware I missed a lot of things. Him growing closer to Kyrie. Becoming a man. Dante told me about what happened in Fortuna and that’s why they’re both here. I am proud he has done well for himself…” yet he had missed it all.

Charlotte gently brushed her hand against his arm, a passing motion, a soothing one. She felt the regret that was ringing loud between them. Of how much time he had missed, and of what was going on. While the “secrets kill” comment bothered her, she found herself unable to ask. Maybe she herself didn’t want to know, or maybe she knew that he’d tell her when he was ready. This was going to be the hardest hit for them both. She knew that. “As long as you’re alive,” she spoke up for once, breaking her vow, “You’ll always be able to make up for the lost time. No matter when. Seven years is a mere blink of an eye. There’ll be seven more after that, and after that, until we stop breathing and we’re on our funeral pyre.”

“I intend to, which is why I have yet to leave.” He looked up at the sky, “What led me running into Stolas was chasing the demon that took me from Fortuna and on a wild hunt. I was focusing on gaining the power to kill him. While fighting him, Abaddon showed, and Stolas took my distraction as an opportunity. I hate attacking and being attacked from behind.”

Charlotte kicked a rock off of the sidewalk, her frown speaking volumes. She wasn’t very fond of demons attacking from behind either. Less because they were cowards, and more because that was her weak point. She could only focus on so much during a fight, as long as it was in front of her face, they had nowhere to go, but the minute they were out of sight? That was when battles got dirty, and dirty fighting was never her style. Yvette handled those fights better, even if they did tend to get on the gory side, much to both sisters’ displeasure and distaste.

She slipped her hands into her short’s pockets and pulled out a hair tie. Quietly she started to tie her hair back up in a makeshift bun.

Vergil had looked at her then to see what she was shuffling for, and the mere moment she swept her dark hair from her neck, baring it, he sucked a quiet breath and pointed his eyes forward. She hadn’t even meant to tempt and that was rude of him. “Would you like to head back, or are you hungry?”

The sudden choice made her pause in tying her hair back. She had been so caught up listening, it threw her for a loop. It took a bit for her brain to reset and then she nodded, “If you feel up to it, let’s stay out a bit longer.” She offered. She wondered if he saw her scar, and that was why he had sucked in his breath now that she thought about it. It was a nasty scar. Really, even Yvette tended to not be too pleased when she saw it.

A reminder of an amateur's mistake, but Charlotte couldn’t find the heart to be ashamed of it. She didn’t feel like talking about it, and she also didn’t think that was quite the reason why he suddenly gasped. Then again, could’ve been the memory that he was at too. Whatever the reason, she decided to let it slide as she finished tying her hair back.

“When Dante brought me here from Nero’s, he took me to a diner. Fredi’s. Do you know it?” Vergil asked as he changed course, catching her elbow to turn and lead her down a crosswalk, then put his hand back in his pocket.

For a brief moment, she wondered what it would take for him to actually touch her in return. Though she was pretty grateful he led her. “I don’t think so. I normally cook at home.” She admitted, gently kicking the sidewalk again, this time more out of shyness than anything. “I never found a reason to...go out. So it’ll be a nice change of pace.”

A softer expression and his shoulders weren’t so tense, “Then let us enjoy ourselves while we can. You did say you want to do this more often. So do it.”

“Only if you come along for the ride.” Charlotte couldn’t believe herself. Why. Why did now of all times had to be the time she channeled her inner Yvette. She made a mental note to throw a pillow at her sister when she got back. Or smother her. Whichever was fastest. Well, she didn’t believe in take backs. Better live with this.

“As it will get me away from Dante and keep me from killing him, I accept.” Vergil rather enjoyed watching her have an internal debate with herself. Both sisters seemed to be expressive and it helped. Fewer bushes to dance around.

Looked like Yvette was only going to get a pillow tossed at her. In the face. Charlotte mentally cheered though. Score. “Awesome.” Why. “What do you normally get?”

“This will only be my second time, but they offer more than strawberry sundaes. I ordered an orange cream parfait.” Vergil shrugged a shoulder, “I tend to go for more orange-flavored things. Dante is all about strawberries.”

Oranges. Charlotte wondered if she had anything in her recipe books at home that called for oranges. “Huh.” She knew that there were a lot about strawberries. The last time she did anything orange was homemade orange juice because she was ticked off and she didn’t feel like screaming and needed to burn off energy faster than baking bread would ever allow. “I’m keeping that in mind.”

X

The city was quiet. Well, quiet enough. He did land a few gigs. Some demons were tearing up the place, but not at an extreme measure that Lysander spoke of. At least, not yet. They were small fry, easily taken care of, and yet Nero still couldn’t help but feel like there was something really wrong with the scene. Maybe it was how weak the demons were and how they were flocking. Maybe it was his father’s paranoia finally kicking itself back into gear now that he knew what caused those black veins to begin with.

Regardless, Nero deserved the damn twenty-minutes it was taking Nico to get a carton of cigarettes when he saw Alexina walking down the street. It was fast how he could recognize her with an extreme style makeover. He rolled down his window, just as she was passing. “Yo. You dressed as a pinup girl for a costume?”

“Save it los-” Alexina’s head turned and her cheeks flushed. “Hey, Nero. I thought you were-”

“Some catcalling idiot that doesn’t know when to stop? Sorry about that.” Nero gestured at her outfit. “You look nice. Did V take you out?” The immediately raised eyebrow made Nero swear in his head. That “someday” wasn’t “today” it appeared. Damn, he wasn’t sure he’d have the patience that V had for this. “Never mind.”

Alexina huffed a laugh. “I used to get those questions a lot back when we were in school together.” She shook her head fondly. “We’re friends, Nero. That’s all. Hey, speaking of friends. I got a question for you since I have you pinned.”

“That’s not at all suggestive but you can hit me with your best shot.” Nero offered, leaning against the door.

“You and Kyrie. Are you two closed or open?”

“Closed?” Nero hated that was even a question, but he was pretty taken aback by Alexina’s question. “Do I even-”

“I was just curious.” Alexina waved it off. “I thought that...well...never mind.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint ya.” Nero rubbed the back of his neck. Oh boy, and here V was just telling him that he had plans. He was thankful that he probably could cut that off quick. “Hey, there’s someone that I know who has a crush on you.”

Alexina looked taken aback and then she smiled ruefully. “A friend of a friend?”

“Nope. Straight up friend,” Nero was going to get V to pay him back for this, he was certain of it. “He’s a little eccentric, but he has a good heart. He has his way of throwing you off your game if you’re not careful, but other-”

“Hey.” Alexina reached into the car and gently placed a hand on Nero’s arm. “I see what you’re trying to do.” She gave him a gentle smile. “Anyway, I got a favor to ask you.”

“Can’t say I didn’t try. What favor?” Nero asked.

“Let him down gently.” Alexina let go of his hand. “He really likes the both of you.”

“Wait, what?”

“I should get going. Bye Nero.” Alexina waved.

“No, wait! Lex! LEX!”

“Jesus, what are ya shouting for?” Nico came towards the van and looked over to see Alexina’s retreating back. “Was that Lexi?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh shit! She was here?! You didn’t give her Silver Wings did ya?”

“What?! No! I didn’t think you were done with it.”

Nico smacked the door. “Damn it, Nero, you’d lose yer head if it wasn’t screwed on.”

“Says the lunatic that drives like one.” Nero snarked back.

“Yeah yeah. Here hold on to these will ya?” She tossed her cartons into his lap and headed towards her side of the door. “What was that conversation about anyway?”

“Honestly Nico? I don’t have a fucking clue.”

X

“Hathaway, you should be fucking pleased as peaches.” Griffon flapped onto the counter in time for a scrap of meat to be flung towards his direction. She had a knife in her hand so Griffon knew that he had to be delicate with this. Careful even. If she got hurt it was his feathers that’d get roasted. “Whatcha making?”

“Food.” Alexina gave Griffon the side eye. “Off my counter, Griff. You’re in my way.”

Griffon stole another food scrap and flew himself to the other side of the kitchen, using his talons to peel into it. “Still you gotta be jumping for joy. Because Vitale, le gasp, touched Nero!”

Alexina had been so focused on slicing that when she heard that she accidentally had placed her finger a bit too close to the blade and sliced her skin open. Cursing, she placed her finger in her mouth and glared at Griffon. Her heart stuttering in her chest. V...that didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean anything. She felt her throat feel a bit thick. “What do you mean?” She asked around her finger as she started hunting for bandages.

“I mean, Hathaway, you should be more careful when handling sharp objects.” Griffon taunted and wasn’t surprised when she threw a carton of...something at his head. Medicine of some sort. “Rude! I was trying to tell you how V got snuggly with a demon hunter and looked cute doing it.”

V was cursing when his door opened down the hall and he appeared shortly after, holding his hand and frowning, “Xina? Griffon? What is going on?” he kept his hand close to his chest and bent down to swipe up the thrown bottle off the floor.

“She tossed that at me!” Griffon tattled.

Alexina glared at the bird, “You distracted me. I’m alright, V.” She assured as she finally found the box of bandages and fished one out. “Sliced my hand on a blade is all.”

“I was telling her about you and Hotshot.” Griffon taunted proudly. “You know, how you two got cozy enough to give cavities.”

Closing his eyes, V internally groaned and when he opened them again he went to Alexina, taking her hand before she could try and fumble the box open, her blood now all over it, and for the first time he tried. Tried to focus on his energy and feeling hers together. They were tied. He knew that. Focusing on what he wanted, he watched the purple shimmer and light before his finger was the one with the cut and hers was perfectly fine. “There.”

It felt like deja vu. Always looking out for her. Her heart stuttered in her chest again and she quietly went back to the box of bandages, getting one. “It was only a minor cut.” She murmured to him as she unwrapped the bandage. “You didn’t have to do that, V.”

Griffon cooed softly in the background.

“I will be the painting of Dorian Gray if necessary, minor to major.” V was dead serious.

It wasn’t the first time Alexina wondered what life was going to be like. She slowly bowed her head, taking a breath. His boyfriend would be upset about that, wouldn’t he? Or did they talk? They must have talked if this Nero was close to him. He probably agreed. Otherwise, V wouldn’t have done it. She bandaged his finger, trying to be careful since touch was so hard. It made her jealous that Nero could….but she shoved that right down so fast she nearly got dizzy from it. Nope. Nope. Nope. That wasn’t happening here.

He deserved happiness for once in his life. Alexina looked up at V, eyes searching. She knew too well how this battle of wits would go. She also knew to bow out. “Tell me about him.” Was all she could offer. “He sounds nice, and Griffon’s torturing me by withholding information.”

“Shadow liked him nearly as much as she loves you.” V brushed her bangs from her eyes, “He called Griffon a chicken, much like Charlotte did.”

“He’s a pain in my ass is what he is.” Griffon ruffled his feathers. “He fucking got the cat to stick her tongue out. The affection whore!”

Alexina laughed genuinely. He couldn’t be that bad of a man. She was upset over nothing and she knew it. Deciding right then and there that maybe it was time her and Griffon teamed up, she nodded over towards the kitchen. “Tell me more? I’m cooking dinner so you can tell me while I’m doing that unless...is it the deadline you’re working on?”

“It can wait, I made quite a bit of progress before I was...distracted. I will go back when my finger heals.” He had been grateful that at least small hurts healed fast, though of course, he wasn’t looking forward to the big hurts later. “Nero offered to help me train.” He started off as he pulled a chair from the table, “I said something that struck a chord in him, and he immediately said he would help me. Not offer, but told.”

“They’re both addicted to damsels in distress,” Griffon said as he flew back towards where she was cutting again. “Be careful with that knife girlie.” He teased and she pretended to swat at him with it. “They’re both dumbasses Alex. Both. Dumbasses. I can’t handle it.”

“Sounds like you have your wings full.” Alexina teased and glanced behind her shoulder. “So he saved someone too and that’s what the connection is?” Wait a moment. Now that she was thinking about it. She glared at Griffon. “Hold on a second. Isn’t Nero with Kyrie?”

“Mm-hmm,” V hummed as he watched Griffon grin as best a bird could grin. Of course he would freak Xina out so he could comfort her fears. “Nero’s way of saying her name tells me all I need to know about how much he loves her. That is part of his motivation to train me. He understands.”

Griffon shook his feathers out. “You told him about you being sick, Hathaway? You even got a Nero nickname too. He seems pretty fond of you.”

“I’m defeathering you later,” Alexina muttered under her breath.

“Hey V, how long do you think it’ll take you for you to steal Nero from Kyrie?” Griffon turned his attention to V.

“I don’t know, Griffon. I might fool all of you and steal Kyrie.” V deadpanned.

“You fox!” Griffon crowed, flapping to V’s shoulder.

Alexina bowed her head for a moment before taking a breath. Weirdos. They were all weirdos. “Do you have a crush on Nero or on Kyrie?” She asked curiously. “There’s no shame here, you know...if you do. You know that right?”

V stood up again and came up behind her, his hands lightly skimming over her shoulders, “I don’t know that I do. You cut your hand and threw a pill bottle at Griffon.”

Griffon trilled softly, as though following the motions of the conversation.

Alexina tossed the vegetables into the pan carefully so that the grease wouldn’t fly up and hit them both. She didn’t want him to take on another minor wound. Even if he was willing to be the picture of Dorian Gray. She was grateful that he was patient, he knew to wait her out, especially when she was working near a stove. His happiness over hers. She vowed that damn it. If he could take on her minor hurts, then she could damn well give him this. “Mistakes.” She said after a moment. “Griffon caught me at a bad time and he decided to make it worse by being mouthy. Everything else though? I’m not lying. I won’t shame you for loving someone V. Not a single person. Or people even if you’re that way. I care about you too much for that.”

“People,” V said immediately, latching on to that tightly. It was the smallest opening that offered him both, and he wouldn’t let it slip away.

“And do you see me going ballistic?” Alexina smiled lightly at him. “See? I told you. No judgment.”

“I quoted Wolf and Flame from Nikita Gill to him,” V finally admitted to her, stepping back to give her room and watched her, the safety net of ‘people’ beneath him now. The last thing he wanted was for her to be upset with him; even though she hid it well, he still knew her.

“That’s a good one. It matches him really well too.” Alexina said as she carefully added the meat to go in with the vegetables, tossing another scrap towards Griffon who caught it mid-air and pleased. “He really is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. No one really sees it, but I guess we did. You did for sure.” She tossed him a smile from over her shoulder. “Need me to be a better wingman than Griffon?”

Griffon squawked, “What the fuck, Alex.” He rarely used her name, but when he did, it was for a purpose.

V barely stifled a chuckle behind his hand, “I believe I have it handled. We talked for hours on our own, and you know it takes a lot for me to talk to someone. You had a hell of a time.”

Nero had it easier. “Mom certainly knew how to crack you. Five minutes alone and you two were laughing.” She ached suddenly. Griffon even felt uncomfortable all of the sudden and he trilled, not pleased with the mood fall.

Tilting his head to the ceiling, V’s following sigh was longer. “I was shy with you.”

“I remember.” Alexina’s voice changed. Soft. Gentle. “Mom didn’t let you stay shy. She was all up asking you all sorts of questions. I remember being embarrassed. She got you open and I was so freaking happy about it. You looked good smiling. I wanted to keep that.”

Griffon looked over at V, head tilting silently as he watched for his reaction. The familiar knew of demons of the underworld. This was something strange, and unfamiliar to him.

“You do, Xina…” V whispered, shoulders dropping, looking tired and sadness swimming in his own eyes, but he closed them, “I smile every day seeing you here.”

“No. You smirk.” The lightheartedness came back so swiftly, Griffon felt a headache coming on. Humans were so freaking weird. So weird. Their emotions were weird, this was weird, and he couldn’t say anything snappish about it. He knew where he didn’t understand. “Dinner’s almost ready. Want to set places?” She asked lightly.

“Of course.” No hesitance, taking the attempt at humor for what it was and headed for the cupboards.

X

Alexina doubted that Nero and V were there since the van wasn’t in the garage. She had half of the mind to head back to the apartment when she thought about what V said a few nights ago. She knew it wasn’t her place. She slipped through the garage and headed up towards the stairs like she had the first time. Nico was crazily organized and messy at the same time, Alex noted. She was pretty sure everything had a place, no matter how out of place it seemed.

Using the back of her hand, she rapped a rhythm against the door. It had once been an inside joke between her and V back when they were teenagers, trying to knock to the beat of the other’s favorite song that they heard on the radio.

“I’m coming, just a minute!” Kyrie’s voice echoed through the door. As promised, it didn’t take long for her to swing the door open, chest heaving as though she’d ran. When she recognized the face, she perked a little, “Alexina!” Then she drooped, “Oh, I’m so sorry but I was about to head to work. Everyone’s at Dante’s place.” Indeed she was wearing a nice blazer and a pencil skirt, tights underneath and mary janes, not heels. She’d dealt with that before and it didn’t end well. Stupid demons.

“You look professional, I like it.” Alexina smiled warmly, “Do you need a ride?” The offer came quick and she was a little taken aback. Normally it would’ve been an apology and an offer to come by another time. She wondered if it was because this girl was someone V might have a crush on one day. Nero certainly was already on his list.

“I work at the orphanage. I can give you directions,” Kyrie nodded with a sweet smile, “I need to grab my purse. I’ll meet you at your car?”

Alexina nodded and quietly headed back to her car. Her heart was beating rapid fire in her chest. She already could tell she was nervous about trying to make a new friend. Near death and hospital stays didn’t exactly make for good conversation starters, and she was mostly left alone. Shrugging it, she decided to enjoy it. The nervousness, the butterflies that were in her stomach, the mere fact that she was going to go on a different route. She was probably a little crazy to love that. Yet months and months ago, this wasn’t a concept. This wasn’t even an idea. Not even a discussion. She waited patiently for Kyrie to approach the car and she smiled. “I suppose I came in the nick of time.”

With the garage door closed and locked in place behind her, Kyrie felt secure their place would be left intact until someone came home. She nodded to Alexina and slipped into the passenger side, breathing a sigh of relief, “I thought I was going to be late. I enjoyed my shower a little too much and had to blow-dry my hair.”

Being a firm believer of natural dry hair, Alexina grimaced at the mere thought of it. “The shower was worth it.” She determined after a moment. “I’m more of a bath person myself, but showers can be real nice too when-” She cut herself off, remembering there was no when anymore. “Well, I suppose it’s one of those days today. V’s gonna hate this.”

“What exactly do you mean? What will he hate?” Kyrie pulled a tie from her purse and put her hair up, then searched for her favorite clip to go over it.

“I keep thinking of things I used to not be able to do when I was sick,” Alexina admitted, leaning back into the seat as she reversed the car out of the driveway and headed down the road. “Today’s been a real good day. Every day’s been a nice little reminder of...hey I’m here still. You know? Things feel more real.”

“I’m glad today’s been a good day, but you still seem troubled.” Kyrie pulled out a small tube of gloss, a sheer pink and she put it on with practiced ease, “I don’t want to pry into your life, Ali. Looking out for everyone’s a self-imposed job I won’t give up. You don’t have to tell me anything, but I’m here to listen. Everyone knows that, so now you do, too.”

Alexina’s grip on the steering wheel tightened for a moment before she breathed. Nero had the best girl. V would adore her to pieces. “Then...do you mind taking V under your wing and looking out for him? Nero and he seem to be close and…” She trailed off slowly. “He’ll take on too much with me. He already did and he still takes on more. He’s like you. A little more on the selfish side, but he looks out for people he’s close to. Since he doesn’t really...have that. I’m mostly saying this because he’s...a gentle spirit. A really good person. And...he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or hurt Nero or anyone. If anything, he’d feel bad that he couldn’t take your pain too.”

“Nero takes on my pain well enough. After all, it’s a pain we share. My brother, Credo, was his best friend.” She didn’t need to elaborate on that one. The tone in her voice already said he was dead. “I did notice that Nero talked quite a bit about V when he came home that night. It makes me happy Nero has his family back and is gaining more friends. Would I be wrong to say you sound like you could use some friends, too?”

Alexina startled a laugh. “I could probably use some.” She admitted. “I’m a little bit worse for wear on the social train, but I can try.”

“Then don’t be a stranger, Ali. Come around. Talk to us.” The songstress giggled softly and smiled at the orphanage, “Are you busy now?”

“No, my last client was an hour ago,” Alexina said, glancing at the clock and then at the building that Kyrie had directed her to. She could see some kids playing on the playground. This wasn’t a school, she noted. She recognized this. “If V finds out I adopted five kids, we’re not saying a word.” She warned Kyrie. “Also, if I come around sometime, let me do your makeup?”

“I’ll keep track of what ones you adore because Nero’s the same way,” she laughed as she popped the door open, “I’d love to have my makeup done, and maybe Nico, too. We could have a girl’s night?”

When was the last time Alexina had such a thing? “I’ll be happy to come.” She assured as she got out of the car. She wondered how V would take Nero adoring kids. She supposed it’d go on the cute list.

X

Nero had to take a breath after getting shoved back by Shadow’s blades and having to immediately dodge Griffon’s lighting attack. Nightmare was agreed to be used “as a trump card” so Nero had focused his attention to distract the poet from saying too many poems to rev himself up to being the golem out. “Take five.” He held his hand up. “That nearly killed me.”

Griffon cackled as he went to V’s shoulder. “What hotshot you can’t take us?”

“That mouth of yours is what’s gonna get V killed if you don’t shut up every once in a while.” Nero pointed at the bird before glancing over at the building.

“They are meant to protect me, so I doubt that,” V tucked his book under his arm and when he felt Shadow bump his leg he knelt down and rubbed her ear, “You did well. Good teamwork between the two of you.”

“Always prepare for the worst. They can take a hit, but they can only take hits for so long before they gotta rest up and then leave you vulnerable.” Nero offered as he flopped down to the ground to take his own breather. “Gotta admit, I’m glad that you can hold on your own. For a while there you had me worried that Lex would beat me near death for breaking a bone of yours.”

“I am fragile, but I will not break so easily.” V shook his head and stood up, walking over to Nero, Shadow trailing by his side. “In fact, training has helped me feel a lot better than I have been.” He picked at his sleeveless coat, “I do not wear this as a fashion statement. Not anymore.”

Nero glanced over at the sleeveless coat, and he remembered that question that he had wanted to ask. Yet he also remembered why he didn’t ask it. V was...complicated. He only gave information, took information, but anyone’s questions could be met with a poem, a dismissal, or honesty. “You really don’t consider lying do you.”

“There really is no point in it. I can avoid the truth, but I won’t lie.” V agreed, carefully easing himself to sit down beside Nero and looked out at their training ‘field’ of sorts. Broken stone and upturned dirt everywhere.

“So…” Nero knew this was absolutely none of his business. “Lex has self-esteem problems doesn’t she.”

“I was severely reminded of that the other night.” V rubbed his temple, “It is difficult when I want the slow burn. I was debating on stopping by the store to see if they have her favorite flowers.”

“What she got jealous?” Nero huffed a soft laugh. Shadow took that as a sign that she could lay over his stomach and he grunted. “Over who? I wasn’t aware you had any other lady friends, and I’m pretty sure Nico doesn’t count, considering she looks at everyone like they’re hot meat. Shadow, why?”

V released a soft laugh and toyed with Shadow’s tail, twisting it between his fingers like one might twist and spin a pencil, “Griffon told her about this. About you and how I told you my name. Xina even cut her hand.”

“I’m not sure if I should be worried that she’s jealous over this, or if I should be worried that you’re hiding something.” Nero petted Shadow absently in his thoughts. “You know, that explains the conversation.”

That startled V and he furrowed his brows, “Conversation? Care to elaborate, Nero?”

Nero stopped petting Shadow and looked over at V curiously. “She asked if Kyrie and I had an open relationship of sorts.”

Shoulders tensing, V licked his lip and tilted his head, “What did you say in response to that?”

At that, Nero softened. “I told her about someone that might be interested in her. A little on the eccentric side. Can summon demons, has tattoos, made a deal. You know the works.”

V shook his head, relaxing back down, “Thank you for trying, Nero. At this point, I doubt she would believe anybody or anything until I…” he cleared his throat, neck warm, “Until I kiss her. She can be...obtuse that way.”

“You know, not everyone would set aside their life and make a deal with a literal devil to make sure she’d live.” Nero mused quietly. Shadow got up and started to make her way to V’s lap, already abandoning him. He supposed Shadow felt his distress. He wondered if V knew how often she got catcalled. The insult that nearly passed her lips. “If you’re determined about this slow burn, I got an idea for you. Those flowers you mentioned? Do it. Then do something fun. It doesn't have to be a date, but she needs out of the house for sure. Just don’t kill anyone.”

“Why would I…?” V trailed off as he came to the conclusion Nero knew something he didn’t. That was alright. He was keeping his attraction to Nero a secret as well. “I will take your advice. After all, you have a pretty successful relationship with Kyrie. How long have you two been together?”

“Five or so years. I had the worst crush,” Nero groaned, putting his hand over his forehead. “I tried to do the whole ‘I’m broody and mysterious and I don’t talk to people’ bullshit. I mean, I had a huge chip off my shoulder anyway, but I was...I was awful. Somehow someway she was charmed by it. I don’t know if she knew it was an act, or if she was because we were childhood friends and she saw right through me. I gave her a necklace for her performance the day things went to shit and after that...I threw all those reservations away.” He pulled his arm away from his forehead. “You know what I mean? You think, “I could’ve lost her, and what would’ve I said”. You think, “never again”. You think, “She doesn’t have anyone now. You couldn’t save her brother, so you gotta save her...cuz no one else is going to. No one’s gonna care.” You think, and you just...stop. You stop thinking. Best thing I ever did really. Straight up told her that I wanted her to be with me. Now she helps out an orphanage. I know all those kids and what happened to them, because in my eyes...they’re hers. Every single one of them. So I got a lot of people on my back, wanting me to protect them. I’d be fucking stupid now to lose all that. I thank my lucky stars every damn day and night for her. For her putting up with my dumbass, cuz I know I scare her.”

“I love the way you talk about her. It tells me so much about you.” V couldn’t even deny that. Nearly everything hit so close to home and a shaky breath left him, “I was an orphan. Xina’s mom took me under her wing around our high school years.” He brushed his bangs behind his ear only to have them fall right back in place, “Kyrie’s brother...loss is hard. Xina’s mother...there was an accident. Neither of us...really know. It was a closed-casket funeral. They would not let us see her body, say goodbye properly. When we asked, faces were grim and there were no answers.”

“What the fuck?” Nero looked at V torn between anger and sadness. Anger for the dismissal both Lex and V faced for wanting to say goodbye. How fucking hard was it? Nightmares could be fixed. “I would’ve kicked their asses and then some.” That explained a lot now. The closeness. V couldn’t do that again. Alex couldn’t be another body buried without an improper goodbye. “Jesus.” He let out a sharp breath. “No wonder. No fucking wonder.” He let out another breath. “What about her dad? Anything on him?”

V shook his head, “Nothing. Xina doesn’t know anything and her mother never said a word. I suppose you’re wondering knowing what you do about me why I haven’t made her mine yet. Your words make me wonder that myself.”

“It sounds like to me,” Nero said after a moment of thinking as he let V’s words wash over him. “You’ve been playing big brother role for a long time, and you don’t know how to step out of those lines. If you even can.” He looked over at V, taking in how the sun made him look a little younger. The tattoos looked as though they had a life of their own, but Nero couldn’t determine if that was the light that was reflecting on them or if they really were slightly moving. “You’re scared because you’re risking everything. Nothing will ever be the same the moment you have her. I always thought of Kyrie as my younger sister and believe me...that was a fucking hard line to erase but the moment I did I realized no. I never really “saw” her as my younger sister, it was easier to say it. It was easy because it meant I had her in my life somehow, someway. I guess the same goes for you two. Making a deal with a demon is a whole lot easier than to rip your heart out of your chest and say “here this is yours”. Maybe that was a little graphic.”

The back of his knuckles covered V’s mouth as he laughed. It was easy to laugh with Nero. Xina could make him laugh as well, of course, but Nero’s quirkiness had its own charm. “What you say holds some truth to it. Perhaps taking her on a date after presenting her with flowers is a good first step to try and see her in that different light, to see if I can step over that line, if only a little bit.”

“Oh my god fucking finally!” Griffon who had been oddly silent during the exchange appeared onto V’s shoulder. “How did this happen without me bashing you into walls.”

“Oh great the chicken’s back. Does that mean I get to beat you again?” Nero asked dryly.

“Try it, hotshot!”

[lil-nest]

Summary: When Talia's young son loses his leg and she leaves him in an alley for his father to find, she doesn't expect the GCPD to find him first. When Officer Dick Grayson finds an amputated child in an alley, he doesn't expect Jason Todd's advice to be "foster him". Both those things happen anyway.

Notes: Written for Batfam Week 2018, Day 4:AU Warning for child abandonment, non-graphic amputation, League of shadow-typical ableism (which does not reflect the author’s opinion in any way, shape or form) and a little bit of swearing.

“I'm sorry, lady Talia, but there's only so much we can do. No one ever tried to transplant a whole leg before, and even though the leg matches his DNA perfectly, the procedure just failed.”

Talia grit her teeth at the memory. Oh how cathartic it had been to kill that scientist.

“I'm sorry, Lady Talia, but we can't try again. His body went through too much stress during the first few attempts, and we don't have anything new to try this time. We did all we could, but lord Damian will not get his leg back.”

She hadn't killed this one. Her father had stilled her hand before she could.

“Daughter, you know it is no use. It is time for you to let go of the boy. He will no longer be able to serve the League.”

“But father, he was shaping up to be a great heir. Making a new one will set back our plans...”

“We will not make a new one. The detective has been training his stray, and the boy has a lot of potential... he might even become a better detective than his mentor, and he seems more susceptible than Wayne ever was... It won't take much to say him to my side, and he'll make a perfect heir. Your son, on the other hand, is no more than a liability now. We can't even plant him in the Detective's house, now that he has a worthier heir. Kill him, or I will.”

Talia al Ghul did not cry. She had not cried since infancy. But the idea of killing her child...

Maybe he had become a liability. After all, she was risking everything to save his life.

She had taken him from the lab, claiming she wanted to give him a death worthy of a warrior. Instead, she had put him on plane headed to Gotham and had presented the corpse of a clone to her father.

She set him down in the shadows, where she knew Batman's patrol would take him. She didn't know if her Beloved would recognize him as his own – she somewhat hoped he wouldn't – but she knew he would make sure he was safe. It was all she could give her son now.

She forgot to take the police patrols into account.

Sometimes, when Dick worked overtime and Jason had nothing planned for evening, he'd let himself in the cop's apartment and cook him a nice warm meal. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement: He got both the pleasure of trying out new recipes and a free meal – sometimes two or three, when he let himself be talked into taking the leftovers home – and Dick could have something other than cereal after a long shift.

Dick would talk about paying him for those every once in a while, but Jason always called bullshit. They were at that point in their friendship when nobody knew exactly who owed who what favors and they just did things for each other – or, more accurately, they both knew exactly what the other did for them but they couldn't agree on which favor compensated which.

Of course, talking about such things was unthinkable between two emotionally constipated ex-foster kids, so Jason just claimed it was payment for the times his masked self showed up at the fire escape asking for a patch-up job.

This would inevitably get Dick to stutter and claim that if an illegal vigilante had ever presented themselves at his window – which they hadn't, thank you – then as an officer of police, of course he would have arrested them, and if, hypothetically, he had decided to break his vows and help said non-existent vigilante, then he certainly would not know their identity, but the point was moot, anyway, since Jason was not, in fact, stupid enough to be part of any hypothetical vigilante group picking up Batman's slack in Crime Alley.

The rant would then be followed by an abrupt change of subject, and Dick would swiftly send Jason home with all the leftovers instead of only half, and tell him to come by with laundry some time.

Jason would call it a win, and would even even be kind enough not to mention the fact that Dick said “Batman's slack” and not “the police's”, as though he had given up on the force ever setting foot there.

That particular evening, Jason was sitting in Dick's couch while his soup simmered, reading about his exploits in the paper – seriously, who put an article about his people struggling to survive next to crappy suppositions about Timothy Drake-Wayne's “secret life”? – when the man came home.

If Jason hadn't been so worried, he would have wondered what it said about him that he knew something was wrong just from the way he closed the door and the lack of greeting.

A moment passed, and he was just about to go check that Dick wasn't dead when the man walked up to him and threw himself on the couch.

“Rough day?”

He was treated to an empty look he hadn't seen since he had last seen his friend wake up from a nightmare back in the home.

“There was a kid...”, Dick eventually said.

Jason winced. Cases involving children were always hard, but Dick usually coped by crying on his shoulder. Whatever had shaken him enough to make him shut down his emotions must have been messed up – even by Gotham standards.

“A boy, four year old – five at the most. Found him in a gutter in a back alley. He was.. god, he was missing a leg.”

Jason's blood ran cold.

“Some new psycho killer, you think?”

“No, Jason, no, he was alive. And the leg... it was cut clean, “fresh surgical amputation” the medic said. Coated with antiseptic, properly bandaged, hell, they're making a blood work because they think he might have been given antibiotics. Jason, it's like this kid got in an accident, got amputated and treated in an hospital, and then just tossed out!”

There were the tears. It was progress, at least.

Jason didn't like where he thought this was going, but asked anyway:

“You think his parents abandoned him on the streets because he lost his leg, don't you?”

“I can't know that. Maybe the leg and his current situation have no link. Maybe he just got kidnapped while leaving the hospital and the kidnappers realized he would need treatment to stay alive and didn't want complications so they just threw him out. Maybe there is a psycho out there who gets off on cutting off kid's members, then pretending to save them by treating them and then leaving them to die in the streets, but...”

“But you know both these scenarios are less likely than assholes deciding their kid was not worth the inconvenience or the cost.”

Dick stayed silent. Jason decided to change the subject.

“Did you try talking to the kid?”

“I did. He wasn't coherent. It might have been shock, but... whatever he was trying to say, it didn't sound like it was even meant to be English.”

“Maybe that's it, maybe the parents are illegal immigrants and can neither earn enough money to take care of him nor benefit from healthcare.”

“But then how did they get him treated in an hospital? Their identity would have been controlled. No, Jason, whoever did this had enough money and rights to get this kid surgery and medicine, which means they also had enough money and rights to take care of him afterwards. They decided to leave him to either die or get thrown into the system. Jason, you know what's going to happen to him. No one will want to adopt or foster a disabled, potentially traumatized kid who can't even speak English, and GCPS has neither the means nor the willingness necessary to give him the help he'll need. He won't even end up like us, Jason, he'll end up worse!”

“Not if you do something about it” he countered.

Now, the thing with Jason was, he was a firm believer in taking things in his own hands. Always had been, really. His mom was too high to make them food? No problem, he could teach himself how to cook. No more food money? Well, hello there, Bat-tires, sitting there, prime for the jacking. The foster parents beat the smaller kids? Associate with eldest foster brother to beat them back. Now-ex foster brother wanted to give up on his dream to become a cop? Nothing was as easy as getting himself arrested at a strategic time so Dick could “accidentally” bump into his idol while bailing him out. Neither Batman nor the GCPD would protect the citizen of crime alley? Meet Red Hood and his Outlaws.

So of course Jason would suggest doing something – probably stupid – when someone complained something was unfair. It usually didn't matter how out there his ideas were, because Dick was always there to act as a voice of reason. He just forgot that said reason tended to disappear when Dick was upset, leaving him incredibly susceptible.

“And what exactly do you suggest I do about this?”

“Well, you're a registered foster parent, aren't you? Take him in.”

Dick startled.

“I'm sorry, what? I can't just take in a kid on a whim! Besides I only got registered so we could ensure children involved in a case didn't disappear into the ether before we were done like I almost did after my parents died.”

Ah, there was the voice of reason Jason knew and loved.

“With that being said, the kid is currently involved in a case. I could take him in just until we close it. It would give his social worker time to find a somewhat appropriate home for him. And maybe if he spends enough time with me it'll help him trust me and we might find a way to communicate...”

Never mind.

Dick deflated.

“We both know if I take him I'll end up getting attached and won't be able to bring myself to let him get lost in the system, though.” A dry, humorless laugh. “I'm pretty sure that's the kind of emotional investment the academy warned us about”

Dick's internal war would have been hilarious if the subject hadn't been so serious. Jason felt the need to intervene, since it was a little bit his fault, too.

“Eh, screw the academy anyway. You've always wanted to be a dad, and I'm pretty sure the only reason you haven't adopted yet is because you know you'll get attached to every kid you see and won't be able to chose. This might just be your chance!”

“I know, and it's very tempting, but... I'm a single man with a dangerous, time-sucking job, and my budget's not too tight, but it's not that loose.”

“You know you can work around all of those if you try. Look, I'm not saying you should up and adopt right now, but maybe give it a thought? The kid's due for a few more days in the hospital, right? Take that time to think about it, talk about it with his worker a bit, and if you find out you still want to after that, just foster the kid until the case is closed. It'll let you see if you can find a solution for the job and the money thing, and most importantly if you click with the kid. Then when the case is closed you'll know what to do. Hell, if you're worried you'll end up too attached to take a rational decision, I promise I'll be the devil's advocate.”

Dick snorted.

“Right. You haven't met him, Jay. He'll have you wrapped around his little fingers soon enough.”

“Hey, if he's able to melt my stone cold heart, then he'll deserve a place beside the only other person who did, right?”

Dick laughed.

“Alright. But you get to be the babysitter while I investigate.”

“I'm sorry, but you're supposed to find a workable arrangement, and I happen to have a job that I like and almost pays my bills. I'm not ready to become a full-time babysitter until the kid hits eighteen. I might, however, be willing to do emergency babysitting every once in a while.”

“It's a deal then.”

A week later, Jason's phone vibrated, startling the cat he was holding into fleeing. Once the animal had been safely caught and given to its new owner, he checked, silently promising retribution to the asshole who had almost ruined a perfect adoption.

It was a text from Dick.

“I'll be picking Damian at Gotham's General on Monday. I hope you're free this Saturday, because we're going shopping ;p”

Somehow, his stupid ideas always came back to bite him in the ass.

[ali-maccrae]

Friday (All Day) Texts

Tags: Jordan Parrish, Alistair MacCrae When: Friday, obviously Where: On their phooones Notes: In which Jordan and Alistair spend all day texting each other to the detriment of, everything else. TW include general schmoopiness, corny jokes, brief mentions of death, inferno boners, and topeless library tours.

Jordan: One of the receptionists brought in cupcakes and they taste like chalk.

Alistair: Are they perhaps made of chalk? That could be why.

Jordan: If they were, the front steps of the Sheriff's Dept would have hopscotches all over them.

Jordan: And, you know, little truths like "Parrish is the best!" Written not by my hand.

Alistair: Of course not, that would be very egotistical. Although I thought it was already common knowledge that Parrish is the best. The other officers are simply green with envy.

Jordan: Believe it or not, I am not the favorite deputy of everyone in town. Every time I respond to the silent alarm at the bank, old Mrs. Borman tells me to go back to the strip club and she'll wait for the real police.

Alistair: I'm sorry, you fight crime AND strip? That is some intense multitasking. I am envious. Both of your ability and of all the people who get to see you make arrests in the nude. Mrs. Borman needs to hush up and enjoy what's given to her.

Alistair: That, sounded worse than I meant it to be.

Jordan: Wow, I had no idea you were so into stripping. But I mean, if you give nude library tours I should have guessed. Duly noted.

Jordan: Admittedly, I do not strip so much as just burn my clothes straight off my body. I'm hardcore.

Alistair: Topless Library tours. My pants stay on. At least for now, anyway. That seems intense, though. Doesn't that get expensive after a while? And I suppose that means I should avoid getting you clothes for holidays.

Jordan: Ah yes. Topless. My bad. ;) and by all means, the more clothes the better. They've already run out of deputy uniforms that fit me. It's a genuine problem.

Alistair: Is that why the ones you have hug your chest and butt so tightly? Not that I'm complaining, but that seems uncomfortable. I suppose I should include an industrial size bag of t-shirts and underwear with each gift. It looks like I'm taking shortcuts but really it comes from the heart.

Jordan: It IS uncomfortable. But we don't have it in the budget to order more. But seriously, why all the talk about presents? You don't have to get me anything. No one said you had to.

Alistair: Well I know I don't HAVE to. I'm sure if Lydia caught wind of me thinking about getting her any sort of gift she would try to head me off at the pass, so don't even. But days like birthdays and Christmas are a time to do things for other people. Particularly those we care about. Putting thought and effort into a proper gift is one of the best parts about the season. Too many people ask the receiver what they want and forgot about the reason why we do the thing. I mean, if you really feel uncomfortable with it I won't get you anything.

Jordan: It doesn't matter to me. I just don't want you feeling obligated to do things for me. That and I am really really bad at gift giving. Just saying, if you get a butter dish from me this year, just know that I panicked.

Alistair: Aww! A butter dish would be cute. Like a little call back to the day we baked cinnamon rolls together and you wanted to show me your butter trick.

Jordan: Not to brag or anything but you could fry an egg directly on my chest but I promise you, I don't use my body to cook.

Alistair: I'm honestly going to have to see that one to believe it.

Jordan: You know... that's probably a good method of temperature training and learning control. Much better than me constantly reheating my coffee by hand because I'm too busy to drink it.

Alistair: OH! Temperature training? That sounds really cool, actually. Can I be a part of this? I'll get a track suit and a whistle.

Jordan: Seriously? What if I burn you?

Alistair: I'll wear oven mitts.

Jordan: That's.... so.... cute.

Jordan: But seriously maybe consider a fireman's uniform.

Alistair: I'm cute, huh? And I'll consider it. I don't know where I would even get one of those. Maybe the army surplus stores will have something like that. Besides, burns never really last more than a day before they heal up, so it's not that big of a deal is it?

Jordan: Depends on the burn. Do you heal um... faster than average?

Alistair: Not that I know of. I haven't really thought about it before. Is that not normal for burns to heal that fast?

Jordan: They take a few days usually, and if they're severe enough, they'll leave a scar. I used to have a scar from a burn on my leg I got from a firework accident. It's gone now that I think about it which is weird. Do you not have any scars?

Alistair: I, do not, actually. Hold on, maybe.

Alistair: No, none that I can see. Although it's sort of hard to get the angles right in this mirror.

Jordan: Out of curiosity, where are you looking?

Alistair: On the back of my thigh, just under...well, it's a precarious spot and I don't THINK I see anything. I had an accident when I was younger and was in the hospital for a couple days. Come to think of it, I probably should have been there longer. There was a lot of blood and I remember screaming a lot.

Jordan: I think I'm willing to bet there is no scar.

Alistair: I have a super healing factor? So I'm like, Wolverine. Only less grumpy and hairy.

Jordan: I guess? ..which is comforting actually. Not you bleeding and screaming, obviously. The fact that you'll survive... well... me.

Alistair: We seem to make out okay. Takes a while for you to get any level of uncomfortable for me. Or, I assume anyway. You always pull away before that happens and then we just stare at each other for a while.

Jordan: I like staring at you.

Alistair: Careful, you're at work. If we get flirting too much you'll get one of those inferno boners.

Jordan: I'll squash it with a bite of chalky cupcake.

Alistair: It's flattering that I can even, DO that to you. Not the chalky cupcake, mind. But the other thing.

Jordan: Yeah, well, I've liked you for a while okay? The inferno boners weren't a problem until recently. As in back-to-Beacon-Hills recently.

Alistair: Is that because you were unsure I would reciprocate or because of the Yuki'onna? Or some combination thereof?

Jordan: The former I guess? I was alone in Vegas so they weren't a problem over there.

Alistair: On a spiritual journey in the desert to commune with the beast. It's almost poetic, in a way.

Jordan: When I came back to Beacon Hills I didn't plan any of this between us. I came back to help the people here. I learned how to burn brighter and stronger, not how to suppress. Imagine trying to read a book at night but instead of a flashlight you have a strobelight.

Alistair: That would be absolutely infuriating. Just thinking about it has me all irritated. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to complicate things. I liked you too, obviously, but I never actually planned on telling you that. And then you kissed me and, well...still, don't let me get in the way of your mission.

Jordan: Don't be mad at me. I'm still processing this. I never expected you to kiss me back. It was very selfish of me. You were just so beautiful with the plants and your eyes and you were in my head the whole time in Vegas. I'm a mess, I know. I'm sorry.

Alistair: Mad? Sometimes I hate text, it's so hard to convey feelings through them. Stuff like tone and meaning gets lost in translation. I'm not mad. I feel for you, actually. Shortly after you left, I sort of tumbled into a pit of fear and caused a small, green house tornado in the middle of the preserve. I attacked Stiles with a tree. It's likely not the same, but I feel like I can relate with something getting out of control. And I'm very glad that you kissed me. Besides, I get the feeling that the good deputy doesn't do too many selfish things. No harm done.

Jordan: I attacked Stiles, too. I'm not sure how he's still alive. I mean in general. The kid is a walking disaster. Don't feel bad for attacking him. At this point I don't think his dad blames anyone but Stiles himself. But I digress. I just want you to know that even though I didn't plan on kissing you, that I'm glad I did, too, even though its making me overthink things. It's good for me. To learn control. And who better than to learn it with you... right? Thank you for understanding.

Alistair: That poor child. It's a wonder he's managed to stay largely unharmed through most of what this town has been through. Maybe there's something to him too that just hasn't been discovered. Although I hope not. These kids deserve a normal life. Well, like I said, feel free to come to me with your over-thoughts. Perhaps I can aleve them a little. Although I have to give a very special thank you to your utility belt. Without it, I'm not sure what I would have done. AND I confess, a large part of wanting to help you allows me to see you in various states of undress.

Jordan: Well I am a stripper, remember. Can't let all those stripping classes go to waste.

Alistair: Training and a show.

Jordan: All in one, you know. The training is the show.

Alistair: How long have you known, if that's alright to ask? That you were attracted to men, I mean.

Jordan: It's fine. Since I was a teen and first joined the reserves before I went into the army. It's not something I advertise because of that, though. The people here are nice enough, but I'm here to protect them, not date them. So it just never came up. Until you.

Alistair: So, until you and I...you never? Were you just going to go through life alone? I mean, not to say I'm some sort of chosen one. I'm sure there would have been someone else.

Jordan: Nooo no. No. I dated a lot of girls in high school and there was someone in the army but our relationship was purely physical and in secret. And then I died. The closest I've ever come to having a connection with anyone was Lydia and that wasn't the same. Otherwise, if I'd been with someone, shouldn't I be able to control myself by now?

Alistair: I'm sorry, come again...you died?

Jordan: I'm not sure this is something I should be talking about through text messages... but yes. When I was deployed overseas. If anyone asks, I just say I was resuscitated.

Alistair: Oh, wow. A topic for next time we see each other, I guess? I'm glad you were resuscitated.

Jordan: I am too, actually. I wasn't sure how I felt about it for a long time... but I'm glad. Sorry for um, dropping that on you. I thought I told you when you found out about me.

Alistair: Mm, no. We didn't really have much time to talk about it. There was an angry snow spirit running amok. And your heat was all that was mentioned when you came over to hang out. I didn't really want to push or anything. Let you tell me on your own terms, you know?

Jordan: Okay then. Let me make up for being so difficult with you and you can come by my place and I'll explain everything. I'd rather it be there. It's been fireproofed.

Alistair: That's handy. I bet you like that. You're not being difficult. It's not like I'd given you a play-by-play of my own abilities when I discovered them.

Jordan: I wasn't around when you discovered them. I'd like to know more. I mean attacking Stiles with a tree? That's badass. I'm still reeling from what you showed me. Talk about a homecoming shock. When I left you were just coming to terms that Beacon Hills wasn't normal.

Alistair: Believe me, I'm still trying to come to terms with everything. Unfortunately this town doesn't really wait for you to get used to things.

Jordan: No... no it doesn't. That's why I was so happy to see you stayed here. I thought I would never see you again.

Alistair: If I left I would have tried to find you in Vegas.

Jordan: ....really?

Alistair: You left quite the impression, Deputy Parrish.

Jordan: That made me spill coffee all over my shirt. And this is the last clean uniform. Guess I'll smell like coffee all day. Thanks. ;P

Alistair: Sorry!

Jordan: Don't be. I like it when you catch me off guard like that.

Alistair: Even if you pour coffee and stain your last clean uniform?

Jordan: Yes. It's a reminder that I'm still me. I will ruin all of my uniforms with coffee if it means I get to experience that. Shock, you know? LIVE. Not just exist. I don't know. I'm not very good with words. That's why I've been hanging around this new librarian, see.

Alistair: Mmm, I see. I must say I'm surprised. I hear the new librarian is something of a clumsy doofus who couldn't find his own nose when asked. At least he's pretty, I guess.

Jordan: Clumsy? May I remind you who got flour all over your kitchen?

Alistair: So we're both clumsy. That should prove fruitful for our adventures.

Jordan: I don't know... you seem to find my mouth alright. Maybe you're not as clumsy as you think.

Alistair: Today I fell up the stairs.

Jordan: Were you carrying books?

Alistair: One.

Jordan: I concede. You're clumsy.

Jordan: Insert pickup line about me being there to catch you when you fall, then.

Alistair: ...

Alistair: That actually made me blush and, laugh a little.

Jordan: One of these days, instead of just referencing a pickup line, I'll actually use one on you.

Jordan: I don't know like, "Baby are you a tree? Because I just can't leaf you alone."

Alistair: That's incredibly corny of you.

Jordan: I can't help it. I'm nuts about you.

Alistair: You know, you'd think the desire to kiss you would go down eventually. But that's just not happening. Can't seem to find anything wrong with it.

Jordan: I hope I never stop wanting to kiss you.

Jordan: .......,,,,,,//////....mnbvc

Jordan: Sorry.

Jordan: Dropped my phone.

Alistair: Boss walked by?

Jordan: Nah. Nosey Officer Smith. He's been suspicious of me since I came back.

Alistair: No cupcakes for Officer Smith. Got it.

Alistair: I think we should meet up tonight. For a kissathon.

Jordan: I'd like that... I'll work on my pickup lines.

Alistair: The more corny, the better. Although it doesn't take much to make me blush, it seems.

Jordan: I know. Your ears get so red. Must be so exhausting... 🙂

Alistair: Do they really?!

Jordan: They do! Don't hide them. I know you're probably checking them right now.

Alistair: Shhh. No I'm not. You can prove nothing!

Jordan: Well, I mean, I guess you have to use your hands to text me at SOME point.

Alistair: Yes. I would cover them with my hands. And nothing else.

Jordan: Don't show up on my doorstep with a bag on your head. It's very difficult to kiss a paper bag.

Alistair: I'll cut a hole in it for ease of access.

Jordan: That's fine. I don't have to kiss your face.

Alistair: You wouldn't dare.

Jordan: Good luck getting a bag over those broad shoulders. I bet they're nice to kiss.

Alistair: You'll set fire to the bag.

Jordan: Only once it's off your head. And probably deliberately.

Alistair: I'll take my shirt off, and then you won't know what to do.

Jordan: Curses, foiled again.

Alistair: Victory is mine! If only I used a flag.

Jordan: My face hurts from smiling. It's not right for a deputy on duty to smile this much. People will think I love my job.

Alistair: Don't you love your job?

Alistair: Also I like it when you smile.

Jordan: I do love my job, actually, but people don't need to KNOW that.

Alistair: You love your job, helping people in your too-tight pants and coffee stained shirt.

Jordan: Best man for the job, that's what they tell me.

Alistair: The stripper.

Jordan: Hey, I worked hard for these abs.

Alistair: I should get you a boom box. Also, do you gym? We should gym together.

Jordan: I do a lot of outdoor workouts, but I occasionally hit the gym. I haven't been there since I came back.

Alistair: I usually only go in the middle of the night when no one is there. I don't fancy being watched.

Jordan: Can't always promise to make middle of the night appointments, but I can try.

Alistair: I mean, you don't have to. I'm not asking that. Maybe I could accompany you on your outdoor workouts.

Jordan: I want to... I'm just letting you know that if I say I'll be there and don't show, please don't think I'm standing you up. Sometimes it's just out of my hands.

Alistair: I understand, don't worry. Although maybe we should hold off on the gym until you can handle seeing me in tights without becoming a furnace. Not sure how we could explain away melted weight equipment.

Jordan: True. One step at a time. Like the world's slowest stripper.

Alistair: Oh, by all means, strip quickly on the outside workouts.

Jordan: Sorry if this seems out of the blue, but do you prefer pasta or stir fry? No reason.

Alistair: No reason at all, huh? I suppose it depends on the day. I love them both.

Jordan: You can only pick one. Those are the rules.

Alistair: Stir-fry, then.

Jordan: Beef, chicken, or vegetable?

Alistair: Mmm. Chicken. Can't go wrong with chicken.

Jordan: Good choice. Chicken is good. Do you drink wine?

Alistair: Honestly? No.

Alistair: But I have wine glasses from which I drink cran-apple juice.

Alistair: Makes me feel so high-class.

Jordan: I don't drink wine either. I actually don't keep any alcohol in the house. Flammable.

Jordan: But cran-apple is good. Cranberries are good for you.

Alistair: That makes a lot of sense. Good thing we won't have anything to lower our inhibitions with.

Alistair: It's very good for you, yes.

Jordan: Speaking of high-class. Are you going to the Recognition Dinner?

Alistair: Well, honestly, I wasn't planning on it. But it seems rude to refuse. But all those dinners...that money could have gone towards the town instead of maybe having people who are already hurting bid in an auction.

Alistair: Sorry, that's probably insensitive...

Jordan: I have to go as part of the force, even if I wasn't here when it all went down. But I sort of helped at the lacrosse game, so I guess they thought that counted for something. But I think it's to help with morale. And to bring in outsiders who want to help.

Jordan: I saw the devastation on the news in Vegas. The people there were concerned and wanted to help, too.

Alistair: Perhaps. That could help and it would be nice for others to have that opportunity.

Alistair: I suppose I'm just apprehensive because of what happened last time the entire town gathered.

Jordan: You're right. Staying home is probably safer. I'll definitely be there to protect the townspeople in case anything happens.

Alistair: That's true. With you there I'd feel so much safer.

Jordan: I wouldn't complain if I got to see you in a tux either, I'm just saying.

Alistair: Alright, you've convinced me.

Jordan: Does that mean you'll sit with me? Is that okay?

Alistair: Won't you be sitting with the force?

Jordan: I will but .... yeah, you're right. Unless I convince them to let the public servants sit together. The library is a public institution... that's not a far stretch right?

Alistair: If you can get them to do that, then yes. I'd like to sit next to you.

Jordan: I'll see what I can do. If not, I suppose I'll just have to bother you after dinner.

Alistair: As long as I get to see you, I suppose it can't be too bad.

Jordan: I feel a lot better about going knowing you'll be there. At least I'm not dreading it anymore.

Alistair: Aww, you were dreading it?

Jordan: Celebrating a victory I had no part in... seems like rubbing it in, to me. I don't think I belong there.

Alistair: You belong here.

Jordan: But not at a recognition dinner for something I didn't do. But you know, I belong there to recognize the people who WERE heroes that day. That's what I'll do.

Alistair: Like you said, you were there at the lacrosse game. You did your best. Pushed yourself to your limits until you couldn't take it any longer. You have just as much right as anyone else to be there. I mean, I was invited and all I did was run and help some people into a building.

Jordan: That's still helping! I'm sure you helped more with your bookstore and all. I mean, didn't Stiles and Scott break into it for that information? It's how we met, after all.

Alistair: Oh, that. No. They were breaking in to learn more about me because they thought I was suspicious.

Jordan: Oh. Jerks. And here I was about to thank them.

Alistair: Mmm. Thank them anyway. I don't think I would have gone to the police station otherwise.

Alistair: I thought someone had destroyed my store because, they knew.

Jordan: Knew what? What you are? You don't even know what you are.

Jordan: I've been using the term Plant Whisperer in my head.

Alistair: No. That, I'm gay.

Jordan: Oh.

Jordan: OH.

Alistair: Yes.

Jordan: I don't know how reassuring this is, but the amount of hate crimes Beacon Hills sees related to homosexuality are at zero. It's... a statistical outlier. But I understand. I couldn't say anything in the army for those exact reasons.

Alistair: That is, a little reassuring. But they said the same thing about LA.

Alistair: Then again, you're a cop. Your credibility is much more substantial.

Jordan: I've never had a call for one at least. But I've only been here a few years.

Alistair: Anyway. The dinner. Should I go with the traditional tux or the navy blue one I have?

Jordan: I want to say navy blue because of your eyes.

Alistair: Blue one it is.

Jordan: I also want to say that I'm incredibly happy you're gay because otherwise things would be very unrequited and I would be sulking a lot.

Jordan: And also that my shift will be ending soon and I've barely worked today.

Alistair: I'm very happy I'm gay too because that would have been awkward if I wasn't. And I probably would have been kissing you anyway to try and get you to smile.

Alistair: That's alright. I've barely done anything. Lydia has had enough of me.

Jordan: Yeah... I keep keeping you from opening that library. At this rate it'll never reopen.

Alistair: More topless tours for you. Maybe even a pantsless one.

Jordan: Will there be a paper bag with a convenient hole cut it in for the pantsless one?

Alistair: Yes, but not in the usual place.

Jordan: Good. That's what I was going for.

Alistair: You know, we talk about seeing each other naked but I'm not sure we'll ever get around to it.

Jordan: I kissed you a few days ago. Patience. You'll make me think you only want me for my body

Alistair: I'm perfectly okay with taking things slow, actually.

Alistair: Call me a sucker for the romantic cliches.

Jordan: That makes two of us.

Alistair: I'm basically a Disney Princess. Especially now apparently I can make things grow. Five bucks says I can communicate with woodland creatures through song.

Jordan: I'll take that bet. And if I lose, it's like paying five bucks for a concert.

Alistair: You just want to see if I can sing.

Jordan: I do, actually. I'm very curious, now.

Alistair: Anyway, you're coming to pick me up soon, yes?

Jordan: Yeah. Give me an hour to get at least one thing done at work and I'll text you when I'm on my way.

Alistair: Alright. I'll use that hour to actually get something done here too.

Alistair: Sorry. I don't have a car.

Jordan: I usually drive the squad car, even in plainsclothes. That okay?

Alistair: More than.

Jordan: Okay. Putting my phone down and letting it charge. I'll see you soon.

Alistair: I look forward to it. 💗

[avidbeader]

Voltron fanfic: “Scattered” Chapter 18

Season 2 AU. No ships, K+ to T rating. Begin at the beginning here. 

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 Matt ran into the room that Allura had indicated and nearly fell over as he stumbled down the unexpected stairs. The center of the viewing gallery with its long chaise-like seats and sofas was sunken. Shiro spun around at the unexpected noise and a sudden laugh bubbled up. “Oh, good grief, Matt. You still can’t walk in a straight line, can you?”

 Matt steadied himself and shook his head. “You know me, hands of silk, feet of banana peels.”

 That made them both laugh. It had been a running joke at the Garrison, how Cadet Holt could be so dexterous with measuring chemicals and assembling tiny bits of tech, yet have the gait of a drunken giraffe. It was one of the reasons Shiro had faked his bloodlust and taken his friend down when they were faced with a match against Myzax. He knew Matt would not have survived.

“What did you need?”

 “You. Mom says your parents are asking for you.”

 “My parents? They think I’m dead.”

 “Nope. As soon as we told her that everyone was all right, Mom started getting in touch with the other families. She said your dad texted her, because Lance and Hunk are talking to their folks but they haven’t heard from you.”

 “I…I…I was going to stay dead. I can’t come back yet and I can’t promise that I’ll survive the war we’re in. I didn’t want to put them through that pain again.”

 “Come on, Shiro! Don’t be a martyr! They’ve known ever since you chose space flight as your career that you could be killed. Yes, they thought you were dead and yes, I’m sure it hurt. But now they get you back, even if it’s only for a while. Were you seriously going to waste that chance? Come on, I’ll help you put through the call.”

 As they left the gallery, Shiro steered Matt away from the bridge and toward the meeting room Allura had mentioned. “This way. I’d like a bit of privacy for this.”

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Allura moved to her control station and quietly set an alert to tell her when the cycle for Keith’s cryo-pod was fifteen doboshes from ending. She listened to the babble of various conversations around her, noting something a little odd. She paid closer attention and heard how Lance and Hunk’s voices had shifted just a little in tone and rhythm, and the words seemed to flow differently. She thought she might have heard Lance do this before, mainly when he got so frustrated with Keith that he was just spouting off what passed for profanity on their world.

Coran came up to her, a crease in between his brows. “Well, there’s yet another mess to clean up. This Galaxy Garrison told everyone that the Paladins were killed in a training accident instead of last seen flying the Blue Lion through a wormhole. I expect we’ll be needed to make at least one large public appearance to show that they are all alive and healthy.”

Allura blew out a breath in frustration. She was just done with these people. Once she had seized upon these five humans because they were all the Alteans had if they were going to form Voltron. Now she realized that fate had possibly given her the five (seven, if you counted the Holts) wisest and most sensible humans on the planet.

She heard shrieks and looked up. She could see a pair of presumably female humans on Lance’s screen, jabbering excitedly with him in that slightly odd cadence. And then she realized Pidge, who was standing behind him, had a look of fierce concentration on her face.

Curious, Allura moved toward them. Pidge saw her coming and met her halfway. “Did you need something, Allura?”

“I just wondered why you were listening so intently to Lance’s conversation. They’re mostly screaming over seeing one another and trading bits of news about friends.”

“How can you—they’re speaking in Spanish. How can you understand them? Although,” Pidge broke off and suddenly looked very disgusted with herself. “How the heck can we understand each other? I can’t believe I never stopped to think about it before, but we—the Paladins—have been speaking English the entire time. Oh, Lance sometimes goes off in Spanish, mainly when he’s irritated, and I’ve heard Hunk sing to himself in Samoan when he’s cooking. Shiro and Keith talk to each other in Japanese once in a while. But you two sound like English to us.”

Allura stared at Pidge. She had gotten lost about halfway through. “I…I’m afraid I don’t understand. Are you saying that the translators aren’t working?”

“Translators? Is that what it is?”

“Yes, we have quite advanced technology to allow us to speak to other civilizations. It involves just a few tweaks to the language centers of our brains and it was the custom to have the process done a few months after birth. And of course the Castle does it for any new aliens who enter since it’s quite painless.”

“Wait, what? The Castle did something to our brains? When? Why didn’t you ask us first?”

“It…it’s part of the process in the automated identity scans.”

Pidge’s affronted expression faded and grew thoughtful. “I remember. That happened right after we set foot in the Castle the first time. But I can still hear the different languages when the guys use them.”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean by different languages? You’re all from the same planet.”

“Yeah, but there’s over five thousand different languages used. It’s standard at the Garrison that you know at least two languages going in and three when you graduate. I speak English and Norwegian—Dad’s family came from Norway—and I was studying German at the Garrison and wanted to take a stab at Hindi at some point.”

Allura was still trying to internalize the concept. Five thousand languages on one planet? How in all the stars in the sky could they possibly communicate?

As she attempted to pull her thoughts together, Pidge was still talking. “Maybe there’s a difference in our brain structure—after all, sometimes you all use a word that just doesn’t translate, like your time terms or ‘quiznak’. Or maybe we still hear our languages because we know they exist and that’s enough to defeat the translator…which I kind of hope isn’t the case, because if I suddenly started hearing you speak nothing but Altean I’d be in big trouble…”

Pidge seemed to realize that Allura was struggling and trailed off. She tuned back in to Lance and listened for a moment, then looked back at Allura. “So, you really are hearing Lance go on like normal?”

“Not quite like normal. I still understand everything he says, but I’m hearing something different in his voice.”

“Interesting. How do I sound to you right now?”

Allura tilted her head. “Yes, like that. What are you doing?”

“I’m speaking in Norwegian right now. And you can tell a difference even though it still all sounds Altean to you?”

Allura nodded.

“So how does the reverse work? You hear everything in Altean, but someone who hasn’t been in the Castle yet talks to you? Do they hear you in their language?”

“I…I don’t know how it works. It just does. Coran might know more about it. His grandfather was one of the people who helped design and build the Castle.”

“Okay, I have got to research this. Because if there’s a way for the five of us or seven of us to have a second language in common, one that the translators can’t translate, we’d have our own secret code if we needed it!” She started laughing. “Can you imagine us facing off someone like Sendek again and shouting ‘skjerp deg’ at him?”

“Shouting what?”

Pidge stared at her befuddled expression and hooted in glee. “It didn’t translate! Yes! Even if the translator goes both ways we can find words in our languages and use them as codes! I need to make a list! Thanks, Allura!”

And with that, Pidge raced out of the command center, leaving Allura feeling very, very lost.

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Shiro brought up the comm panel in the meeting room and Matt quickly pulled up the necessary screen. “Email or number?”

Shiro rattled off his mother’s number, slightly amazed that he remembered, and Matt entered it. As the screen showed a connection being attempted, Matt gave Shiro’s shoulder a squeeze and retreated to the hallway.

The screen blinked into life, showing him a pair of faces. His breath caught in his throat for a moment. When did his mother’s hair turn so gray? When did his father’s face get so lined?

“Kaa-chan? Tou-chan?”

They also seemed stunned to look at him, and Shiro immediately realized why. If they looked so much older in less than two years, what must he look like to them? The shock of white hair falling over his forehead, the scar slashed across his face, the silver arm… If he, with months to adjust to his changes, still did a double-take when he saw his reflection, how much harder was it for them?

“Takashi? Is it really you?” His mother reached up and touched her screen, her eyes drinking in the sight of him.

He raised his flesh hand to meet hers, but didn’t touch the panel as it would break the connection. “Yes, kaa-chan. It’s really me.”

“We are so grateful to know you’re alive, Takashi. We missed you so much.”

“I…I missed you, too. I missed you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t try to get in touch with you before—”

“We do not blame you, son!” His father broke in. “We blame the Garrison for not listening to you! You have nothing to apologize for.”

“But, you don’t know what happened! You don’t know any of it!”

His father’s expression hardened. “Did you cause those aliens to take you and your crew?”

“No, of course not!”

“Did you deliberately lead those cadets into danger?”

“No! But—”

“Have you acted in any way less than your honor demands?”

Shiro recognized his father’s tactic. Growing up, he would pose question after question, usually in order to ruthlessly unravel Shiro’s attempts to get out of trouble or push him to examine a problem from a new angle.

In spite of himself, it was working again.

“No, tou-chan.”

“Then you will stop apologizing and tell us the good parts version.”

Shiro smiled in spite of himself at his father’s reference to a favorite book. His thoughts leaped from his father reading the book to him…to him reading it to Keith during the all-too-short time that Keith was fostered with them.

“I found Keith. Or, more accurately, he found me.”

His mother brought both hands to her mouth. “Oh, that’s wonderful! Is he there? Can we speak to him?”

“He’s…he is here, but he’s currently in the—the infirmary, and needs to stay there a while longer. It seems that the Garrison tried to learn from its mistakes with me but Earthforce interfered. They shot him up with at least three different drugs trying to force information from him.”

“That poor child! Will you bring him with you when you come? We haven’t seen him since your graduation!”

Shiro’s smile widened at that. “Yes, of course I will. I’ll need to coordinate with Pidge. She can sneak us in and out to avoid Earthforce.”

“And the media,” his father added. “There’s talk that Earthforce is finally going to issue a statement. I’m relieved that we kept our numbers private when we switched to mobile phones, although we have had to ignore several people knocking on our door.”

Shiro growled at that. The last thing he wanted to have to deal with was trying to sneak around pushy reporters, or worse, hold a press conference. His stomach twisted at the thought.

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Allura’s monitor pinged to alert her that Keith would be through with the healing pod in a few minutes. She slipped out of the command center and ran for the cryo room. Once there, she paced, her eyes never leaving the screen that showed the progress of the procedure. The second the control panel turned blue to show the completed cycle, she rushed up and deactivated the pod.

Keith moaned and staggered forward. Allura grabbed and steadied him, “Keith? It’s Allura. Can you hear me?”

“Princess?” He opened his eyes and focused on her. He straightened, gaining his balance, and she frowned slightly in puzzlement. Lance had taken several minutes to find his bearings when exiting the pod.

She focused and took his left hand, seeing the glow of Quintessence appear. It was very faint, at least. She still felt that he was carrying more than a human should, when compared to the other Paladins, but it was no longer dangerously high.

He looked at their hands and back at her. “Is everything all right?”

“I think so. How are you feeling?” She guided him to sit on the stairs leading from the floor to the pods.

“Ridiculously healthy. Do you know how long it’s been?”

“You were in the cryo chamber for less than a varga.”

“I mean, how long was I on Earth? I lost track pretty quickly.”

“Over seventy-two of your hours, if I’m converting correctly. Why?”

“If you’re right, in over four days I haven’t eaten or slept properly, was in a massive battle, and then drugged repeatedly. And yet I feel fine after a quick nap in a cryo-pod.”

“I believe that would be due to the excess Quintessence in your body. What I don’t understand is how you came to absorb so much of it at once.”

“Did Coran tell you what I found at that Galra hub?”

“No. We’ve been rather distracted trying to find all of you. Wait—Coran did say something about a facility there with a large amount of stored Quintessence?”

“Yeah. There was a massive room, lined floor to ceiling with these glass vats of a yellow substance. I was following somebody in robes and a hood. It did something to one of the vats that condensed the yellow stuff into a much smaller amount of purple liquid.

“I tried to steal some of the purple version. I had a container in my hands, but that hooded thing spotted me and took it back. I attacked and it started firing what looked like black lightning at me.” He held up his right hand. “At one point the energy backlash between my sword and its firepower ate my armor off and burned my hand so badly it was useless.”

Allura’s eyes widened as she took in his unmarked skin. He’d fought a Druid?

“A few minutes later, one of the large containers, with the bright yellow Quintessence instead of the concentrated purple stuff, broke behind me. I got soaked through with it and suddenly my hand was back to normal. And other than being kidnapped and drugged by my own people, I feel fine. What is going on?”

“What I think is going on, is we now know how Zarkon has continued to live for ten thousand years.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “My father was aware of experiments going on in certain civilizations. They tried to find a way to use Quintessence to heal people faster, then to enhance their strength. But people exposed to it more than a few times would suffer terrible symptoms of withdrawal. It was addictive.”

Keith squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Well, I’ll do my best to make sure I never fall into another vat of it. And it’s our first sign of weakness in Zarkon, if he has to have this Quintessence to live.”

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The news anchor took one last swig of water from her bottle behind the desk and cleared her throat before the red light on the camera lit up and signaled that she was on the air. This was a long statement and it was important to get it right. History was about to happen.

 The light went on and she looked into the camera with a serious but calm expression. Above all else, Earthforce had insisted that they do whatever it took to help prevent panic.

 “Good afternoon. This is Rachel Hayes with the latest information surrounding the day’s reports of UFO sightings and alien contact. Earthforce has given us the following statement, which I am about to read in full.

 “Earthforce wishes to address reports of an alien ship that was spotted in numerous locations of the western half of the United States. We can confirm that this ship is real and that it currently poses no threat to Earth. We repeat, there is currently no alien aggression toward the planet.

 “The ship, in the form of a blue lion, is part of a squadron called the Voltron Force. Again, they are not here to invade us. In fact, the various members in this force include five Earth citizens.

 “The chain of events as we know it begins with the Kerberos mission over a year ago. The reports of pilot error killing everyone aboard were false. The evidence instead pointed to the entire crew being taken by a hostile alien presence and our leadership at the time chose to report their deaths instead to prevent widespread panic in the general population and because we had no means to investigate further or try to rescue our people. But Doctor Samuel Holt, his son Matthew Holt, and Captain Takashi Shirogane are alive and have been freed from the aliens who abducted them.

 “The next event happened seven weeks ago. Captain Shirogane managed to escape his imprisonment and fly back to Earth in an alien spacecraft. When he crash-landed near Galaxy Garrison Headquarters, the Garrison and Earthforce followed protocol to quarantine him. However, a group of cadets from the Garrison witnessed the crash, investigated on their own, and managed to take Shirogane with them to an unknown location. Together, they discovered the presence of the blue lion ship deep in the desert. Our own investigations of the area since then show that the lion ship had been there, dormant, for thousands of years. But the group activated the ship and flew it away, leading a much larger hostile ship away at the same time. That hostile force has not returned to our solar system. There is currently no known threat to Earth.

 “Earthforce chose to report the group of cadets as deceased, as there was absolutely no trace of them once the lion ship was out of range. But we are now sharing the truth. Cadets Tsuyoshi Garrett, Pidge Gunderson, and Lance McClain are alive and have become part of this Voltron Force, along with Captain Shirogane and former Garrison cadet Keith Kogane.

 “Three days ago, Kogane crash-landed his own lion ship near Mount Rushmore. He willingly came to Galaxy Garrison to report, but an Earthforce official overreacted and treated Kogane as an enemy agent, including assaulting him. That official is facing court-martial for his actions. These are the circumstances referred to in the conversation that was accidentally broadcast over a wide range of media this morning.

 “We ask that the media and the public leave the families of the Voltron Force in peace for now as they reunite with their missing children. We will issue further information as soon as we have it. In the meantime, we encourage everyone to stay calm. There is no threat against Earth at this time.”

 The anchor drew a deep breath, relieved at getting through the statement without stumbling. “As Earthforce stated, there is no threat to our planet at this time. Everyone should remain calm and wait for further information. Please tune in this evening for full coverage. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.”

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skjerp deg

– Norwegian phrase that sort of translates to “You’re about to make a complete fool of yourself.”

kaa-chan – Japanese for “mom”

tou-chan – Japanese for “dad”

Next chapter

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11 Terrific Fathers Who Are Making A Powerful Difference

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give. He believed in me. ~ Jim Valvano

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day.

It’s the day we remember our dads.

For some, Father’s Day is bittersweet because of their child’s substance use.

Today, I’m featuring some great dads who have taken the devastation they experienced with their child’s addiction and are using it for good. They have made it their mission to spread awareness about the dangers of drug use. They are giving back to make life a better place for those coming after.

There is so much work to be done and these dads are helping to pave the way.

Here are 11 amazing fathers who have stepped up to take on addiction.

David Cooke

As a dad who believed he could fix anything, I felt more like a failure every time my son fell deeper into his addiction. It nearly destroyed me. Fortunately, in the midst of my brokenness, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone, including me, any good.

Hopefully, there will be a day when your child finds their way back; so you can celebrate their success and be there for them. However, if you allow their addiction to destroy you, there will be nothing left for them to hang on to when they need you the most.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present, and stronger for yourself when they are not!

David Cooke is the founder of 100 Pedals, Recovery for Parents of Addicts, which is a non-profit resource for moms and dads and other family members.  

Dave Humes

“First save the life. Where there is life, there is hope.”

My son, Greg, relapsed after seventeen months of sobriety. In his new-found sobriety, he was doing everything right in his life. Greg was in regular contact with my wife, Gail, and me. He was working. Greg was getting in shape for a ‘mud ruckus’ for MS. He was doing community service. One night he ran into some of his old running mates. The strength of the disease raised its ugly head and his relapse cost him his life.

In the aftermath of Greg’s death, the investigating detective said to me, “If we had a 911 Good Samaritan Law or a Narcan Law, your son might very well be alive today.” After the shock of his unnecessary death, I made a vow to Greg that I would somehow save a life in his name. The words of the detective were like that song that gets stuck in your brain, words I live with every day.

And sometimes you get lucky. I had some conversations with David Sheff. I worked as a parent advocate with Gary Mendell. I was partnered with two wonderful people, Jeanne & Don Keister, who founded atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. I am very proud to say that by working with all of these selfless advocates, we have instituted 911 Good Samaritan laws and Naloxone laws in Delaware, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

My vow to my son, Greg, has been honored. A life saved in his name. And now I’ve gotten greedy. More lives saved. We continue to battle the public health crisis of the 21st century, over 550,000 lives unnecessarily lost.

On Father’s Day, it will be a day of “Saudade” – the joy of spending it with my son, Dave, and the sadness and emptiness because Greg is not with us.

Dave Humes is a board member of atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. Upon the death of his son, Greg, he closed his business in order to make a difference in the lives of those struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

David Sheff

Research says that most likely your child is going to be OK. In the middle of it, you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Of course, there are no guarantees, this disease is life threatening, so we have to take it seriously.  Most young people who become addicted will be OK.  That is the first thing to know.

The second thing to know is that it is so stressful that it can cause lives to crumble. Parents get divorced, and families explode, so we need to get help by going to therapy or going to Al-Anon meetings or whatever support is helpful. The hopeful part is that when you do have that help, you will feel better. It still doesn’t make this easy. Nothing makes this easy, but you can help yourself by making better decisions.  You can reduce your suffering considerably.

There is also hope that as this field progresses, we are going to learn more about why people use and how to stop them from using the first place, why drug use escalates and how we can stop it before it gets to be a serious addiction. And when it does escalate, to better understand what addiction is and how we can better treat it.

David Sheff is a journalist and New York Times best-selling author. His books on addiction include Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction and Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy.

Dean Dauphinais

Stay calm. This is something that will likely take some practice for most people (myself included). No matter how much anger you feel toward your loved one and their substance abuse problem, losing your cool and yelling at them will not make anything better.

In fact, it’s likely to make things worse. Believe me; I was anything but calm early on in my son’s addiction. I have since learned that cooler heads definitely prevail.

Work on your own recovery. So many parents and loved ones of people with addictions don’t realize that their own recovery is just as important as the addict’s. In fact, it might be more important. If you are a physical/emotional wreck, you will be unable to help your loved one in any positive way. Instead of one healthy person being available to help one sick person, there ends up being two sick people, neither of whom can help the other.

To paraphrase David Sheff, don’t become addicted to your loved one’s addiction. And know this: You. Can. Get. Through. It.

Dean Dauphinais is the author of the blog My Life As 3D, a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, and a former Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery.

Gary Mendell

If I can give you one piece of advice, show empathy towards your loved one. They have a disease no different than any other physical disease like cancer or diabetes.

Because of stigma, doctors aren’t treating it. Researchers aren’t getting enough money for research. People who are addicted will not seek treatment.

Most of the time it is because they are afraid of family, friends, and coworkers finding out about it. If you had asked me how many fathers in my small town had a son who was addicted, I would’ve raised my hand and said, “I’m one of the few.”

But I’ve learned that there are 25 million Americans today that are actively addicted. That’s one-quarter of American families.” Our teens, our youth, and all our loved ones are dying in communities all across America, not just inner cities.

This is a huge epidemic around this country (Business Insider).

Gary Mendell is the founder, Chairman, and CEO of Shatterproof. After losing his son Brian to addiction in 2011, Gary founded Shatterproof to spare other families the tragedy he has suffered. 

Herby Bell

My best advice is to learn how to get in touch with their own intuition. The answers are inside if we create a process for ourselves to be introspective. Let’s examine how we view our lives and start the education process very early on. This is an intergenerational, family legacy, multi-factorial problem, including a genetic predisposition. It requires a holistic, integrated approach.

Education, education, education.

Open up and start the conversation. Let’s get addiction out of the closet and turn over every stone we possibly can because there are different strokes for different folks.

I love the concept of rehab, but now let’s get prehab and let’s get posthab. Let’s make it a part of our culture early on in our educational system so that we can prevent a lot of this very expensive treatment. We can find a way to offer continued–aftercare–much like diabetes or heart disease. Ultimately, that will abate a lot of very expensive relapse episodes and recidivism in our prison systems.

It can be more robust; it can be spread out more in the culture. We like to say, “Let’s have the addiction treatment community be the entire community from the beat cop, to the teacher, to my brother.” Everybody can get up to speed on this because addiction touches all of us, one way or another.

Herby Bell, D.C., D.A.C.A.C.D© has been a practicing chiropractor for over 30 years. He is currently in private practice at Recovery Health Care in Redwood City, CA where he specializes in individuals with addictions. Herby also lectures at The Sequoia Center, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Redwood City and he produced a podcast entitled, Sober Conversations (iTunes) exploring sober and wellness lifestyles.

Jim Hood

When I lost my son, Austin, to addiction, I had no idea this tragedy was happening all over America – that one in three households in America is impacted, and that a life is lost to addiction every 4 minutes.  That is the equivalent of a jumbo jet falling from the sky every day, with no survivors.

“With alcohol and other drug-related deaths taking more than 350 Americans from us each and every day, and 20.8 million people currently struggling with substance use disorders, virtually every family in America is affected – this is the moment to share what we know and what we can do about it.”

One of the many ways Facing Addiction is helping is by creating the Addiction Resource Hub, the most comprehensive collection of addiction-related resources ever assembled to help people searching for information about prevention, intervention, treatment or recovery.  You can find it at www.facingaddiction.org.

We know there are solutions to the addiction crisis, and it’s time for America to start facing addiction and exercise the political and social will to act on those solutions.

Jim Hood is the Co-Founder and CEO of Facing Addiction, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the addiction crisis in America.

Kim Manlove

The disease of addiction is very powerful…and it is particularly powerful when it begins in adolescence. Barely six months after initiating treatment, our son David died in a drug-related drowning at a friend’s home in Geist.

Since his death, my wife and I have learned many things about addiction…primarily that it is a powerful disease that can be deadly…especially when it starts in adolescence.

And that even when you do the right things and get the help you need…bad things still happen. Despite what happened to our son, we are convinced that treatment for addiction works and that recovery is possible for everyone.

Yet shame and stigma continue to have a stranglehold on those who suffer from addiction, and it is important now more than ever that we treat addiction like other chronic medical diseases like diabetes and cancer.

After the shattering loss of his youngest son, Kim has gone on to start The 24 Group, and the 24 Group Facebook Page to help spread the word about the dangers of substance abuse. He is a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. Kim has written a heartfelt book about the loss of his son, entitled, Odyssey. He has a video about the family’s story entitled, Just Your Normal High School Boy. Kim has shared his family’s story on national TV.

Paul Kusiak

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing upbeat stories when I know that many loving parents have tried everything, yet still lost their child. My heart breaks for these families. No one has all the answers. Sometimes, all we can do is the best we can, with the information that we have at the time, and hope and pray our child gets through their darkest moments.

Despite the horrific grip drugs have on many individuals, families, and communities, no one should have to fight this alone. When my boys were at their worst, I didn’t imagine we’d be where we are today. Finding and accessing resources and having good outcomes may feel impossible, but it’s not.

I know what it’s like to be at your wit’s end; when it is impossible to imagine that things could get better. Yet, my family kept reaching for help and never gave up. It wasn’t easy and certainly, it has not been a single straight line from addiction to recovery, but over time we went from hell to happiness. I’m optimistic you can get there, too. Let’s do this together.

Paul Kusiak is a father of two sons in recovery and one of the most dedicated Parent Coaches at Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Ron Grover

“What have I learned?” I think this is the most important question a parent of a teen with an addiction can ask him or herself. This self-reflective question focuses on you, the parent, and not the child with the drug problem.

In the midst of crisis and drama, it is difficult to figure out what to do to support a loved one with an addiction. A parent cannot deal successfully with the chaos this disease brings if he or she is filled with fear and anger.

True education occurs when we can sit quietly and reflect upon the events. We can look critically at our own role as a loving and supportive parent. Without quiet contemplation and analysis of your own actions, a parent can fall into the same traps and reactions. After a long period of doing the same thing over and over again, you may begin questioning, “Who is the crazy one in this picture?”

Ron is the Director of Human Resources for a manufacturing company. He lives in Kansas and is the parent of a son in his early twenties. In January of 2009, Ron began writing an award-winning blog, An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom which is about living with and dealing with an addicted son. Ron reaches out to high schools and tells his family’s story. He is a Parent Ambassador for The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Tim Ryan

As a parent, you need to be up on your kids’ technology, including cell phones, and computers. We need to know what they are doing at all times.

As a parent, you are responsible for your kids, never forget that. Make sure they know they have zero privacy.

Sometimes, you need to love a child from a distance so they alone must own their addiction. If they have a heartbeat, there is hope. We need to look not only at the addiction but also examine the cause of their pain. Be sure to address the underlying issues along with the substance abuse.

Parents also need to get help for themselves. See a therapist, and seek out Alanon, Families Anonymous, and so on. Being in recovery is a good thing. In this faced-paced life with all its pressures, kids are looking for an escape. One bad decision can lead to a road of destruction or death.

Always do your research prior to making a decision on where to get help. Do not trust a Google search. Ultimately it is up to the person with the addiction to get sober, and parents must never enable. If you baby an addict, you will bury an addict. I know this all too well from going through it with my own son.

Tim Ryan is a Motivational Speaker, Executive Director of www.amirf.org, National Director for the Recoveryteam.org, father of five and over 4.5 years sober. He is also the published author of From Dope To Hope available on Amazon.

  Have a wonderful Father’s Day!

  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for the free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

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11 Terrific Fathers Who Are Making A Powerful Difference

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give. He believed in me. ~ Jim Valvano

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day.

It’s the day we remember our dads.

For some, Father’s Day is bittersweet because of their child’s substance use.

Today, I’m featuring some great dads who have taken the devastation they experienced with their child’s addiction and are using it for good. They have made it their mission to spread awareness about the dangers of drug use. They are giving back to make life a better place for those coming after.

There is so much work to be done and these dads are helping to pave the way.

Here are 11 amazing fathers who have stepped up to take on addiction.

David Cooke

As a dad who believed he could fix anything, I felt more like a failure every time my son fell deeper into his addiction. It nearly destroyed me. Fortunately, in the midst of my brokenness, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone, including me, any good.

Hopefully, there will be a day when your child finds their way back; so you can celebrate their success and be there for them. However, if you allow their addiction to destroy you, there will be nothing left for them to hang on to when they need you the most.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present, and stronger for yourself when they are not!

David Cooke is the founder of 100 Pedals, Recovery for Parents of Addicts, which is a non-profit resource for moms and dads and other family members.  

Dave Humes

“First save the life. Where there is life, there is hope.”

My son, Greg, relapsed after seventeen months of sobriety. In his new-found sobriety, he was doing everything right in his life. Greg was in regular contact with my wife, Gail, and me. He was working. Greg was getting in shape for a ‘mud ruckus’ for MS. He was doing community service. One night he ran into some of his old running mates. The strength of the disease raised its ugly head and his relapse cost him his life.

In the aftermath of Greg’s death, the investigating detective said to me, “If we had a 911 Good Samaritan Law or a Narcan Law, your son might very well be alive today.” After the shock of his unnecessary death, I made a vow to Greg that I would somehow save a life in his name. The words of the detective were like that song that gets stuck in your brain, words I live with every day.

And sometimes you get lucky. I had some conversations with David Sheff. I worked as a parent advocate with Gary Mendell. I was partnered with two wonderful people, Jeanne & Don Keister, who founded atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. I am very proud to say that by working with all of these selfless advocates, we have instituted 911 Good Samaritan laws and Naloxone laws in Delaware, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

My vow to my son, Greg, has been honored. A life saved in his name. And now I’ve gotten greedy. More lives saved. We continue to battle the public health crisis of the 21st century, over 550,000 lives unnecessarily lost.

On Father’s Day, it will be a day of “Saudade” – the joy of spending it with my son, Dave, and the sadness and emptiness because Greg is not with us.

Dave Humes is a board member of atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. Upon the death of his son, Greg, he closed his business in order to make a difference in the lives of those struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

David Sheff

Research says that most likely your child is going to be OK. In the middle of it, you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Of course, there are no guarantees, this disease is life threatening, so we have to take it seriously.  Most young people who become addicted will be OK.  That is the first thing to know.

The second thing to know is that it is so stressful that it can cause lives to crumble. Parents get divorced, and families explode, so we need to get help by going to therapy or going to Al-Anon meetings or whatever support is helpful. The hopeful part is that when you do have that help, you will feel better. It still doesn’t make this easy. Nothing makes this easy, but you can help yourself by making better decisions.  You can reduce your suffering considerably.

There is also hope that as this field progresses, we are going to learn more about why people use and how to stop them from using the first place, why drug use escalates and how we can stop it before it gets to be a serious addiction. And when it does escalate, to better understand what addiction is and how we can better treat it.

David Sheff is a journalist and New York Times best-selling author. His books on addiction include Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction and Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy.

Dean Dauphinais

Stay calm. This is something that will likely take some practice for most people (myself included). No matter how much anger you feel toward your loved one and their substance abuse problem, losing your cool and yelling at them will not make anything better.

In fact, it’s likely to make things worse. Believe me; I was anything but calm early on in my son’s addiction. I have since learned that cooler heads definitely prevail.

Work on your own recovery. So many parents and loved ones of people with addictions don’t realize that their own recovery is just as important as the addict’s. In fact, it might be more important. If you are a physical/emotional wreck, you will be unable to help your loved one in any positive way. Instead of one healthy person being available to help one sick person, there ends up being two sick people, neither of whom can help the other.

To paraphrase David Sheff, don’t become addicted to your loved one’s addiction. And know this: You. Can. Get. Through. It.

Dean Dauphinais is the author of the blog My Life As 3D, a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, and a former Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery.

  Gary Mendell

If I can give you one piece of advice, show empathy towards your loved one. They have a disease no different than any other physical disease like cancer or diabetes.

Because of stigma, doctors aren’t treating it. Researchers aren’t getting enough money for research. People who are addicted will not seek treatment.

Most of the time it is because they are afraid of family, friends, and coworkers finding out about it. If you had asked me how many fathers in my small town had a son who was addicted, I would’ve raised my hand and said, “I’m one of the few.”

But I’ve learned that there are 25 million Americans today that are actively addicted. That’s one-quarter of American families.” Our teens, our youth, and all our loved ones are dying in communities all across America, not just inner cities.

This is a huge epidemic around this country (Business Insider).

Gary Mendell is the founder, Chairman, and CEO of Shatterproof. After losing his son Brian to addiction in 2011, Gary founded Shatterproof to spare other families the tragedy he has suffered. 

Herby Bell

My best advice is to learn how to get in touch with their own intuition. The answers are inside if we create a process for ourselves to be introspective. Let’s examine how we view our lives and start the education process very early on. This is an intergenerational, family legacy, multi-factorial problem, including a genetic predisposition. It requires a holistic, integrated approach.

Education, education, education.

Open up and start the conversation. Let’s get addiction out of the closet and turn over every stone we possibly can because there are different strokes for different folks.

I love the concept of rehab, but now let’s get prehab and let’s get posthab. Let’s make it a part of our culture early on in our educational system so that we can prevent a lot of this very expensive treatment. We can find a way to offer continued–aftercare–much like diabetes or heart disease. Ultimately, that will abate a lot of very expensive relapse episodes and recidivism in our prison systems.

It can be more robust; it can be spread out more in the culture. We like to say, “Let’s have the addiction treatment community be the entire community from the beat cop, to the teacher, to my brother.” Everybody can get up to speed on this because addiction touches all of us, one way or another.

Herby Bell, D.C., D.A.C.A.C.D(c) has been a practicing chiropractor for over 30 years. He is currently in private practice at Recovery Health Care in Redwood City, CA where he specializes in individuals with addictions. Herby also lectures at The Sequoia Center, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Redwood City and he produced a podcast entitled, Sober Conversations (iTunes) exploring sober and wellness lifestyles.

Jim Hood

When I lost my son, Austin, to addiction, I had no idea this tragedy was happening all over America – that one in three households in America is impacted, and that a life is lost to addiction every 4 minutes.  That is the equivalent of a jumbo jet falling from the sky every day, with no survivors.

“With alcohol and other drug-related deaths taking more than 350 Americans from us each and every day, and 20.8 million people currently struggling with substance use disorders, virtually every family in America is affected – this is the moment to share what we know and what we can do about it.”

One of the many ways Facing Addiction is helping is by creating the Addiction Resource Hub, the most comprehensive collection of addiction-related resources ever assembled to help people searching for information about prevention, intervention, treatment or recovery.  You can find it at www.facingaddiction.org.

We know there are solutions to the addiction crisis, and it’s time for America to start facing addiction and exercise the political and social will to act on those solutions.

Jim Hood is the Co-Founder and CEO of Facing Addiction, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the addiction crisis in America.

Kim Manlove

The disease of addiction is very powerful…and it is particularly powerful when it begins in adolescence. Barely six months after initiating treatment, our son David died in a drug-related drowning at a friend’s home in Geist.

Since his death, my wife and I have learned many things about addiction…primarily that it is a powerful disease that can be deadly…especially when it starts in adolescence.

And that even when you do the right things and get the help you need…bad things still happen. Despite what happened to our son, we are convinced that treatment for addiction works and that recovery is possible for everyone.

Yet shame and stigma continue to have a stranglehold on those who suffer from addiction, and it is important now more than ever that we treat addiction like other chronic medical diseases like diabetes and cancer.

After the shattering loss of his youngest son, Kim has gone on to start The 24 Group, and the 24 Group Facebook Page to help spread the word about the dangers of substance abuse. He is a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. Kim has written a heartfelt book about the loss of his son, entitled, Odyssey. He has a video about the family’s story entitled, Just Your Normal High School Boy. Kim has shared his family’s story on national TV.

Paul Kusiak

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing upbeat stories when I know that many loving parents have tried everything, yet still lost their child. My heart breaks for these families. No one has all the answers. Sometimes, all we can do is the best we can, with the information that we have at the time, and hope and pray our child gets through their darkest moments.

Despite the horrific grip drugs have on many individuals, families, and communities, no one should have to fight this alone. When my boys were at their worst, I didn’t imagine we’d be where we are today. Finding and accessing resources and having good outcomes may feel impossible, but it’s not.

I know what it’s like to be at your wit’s end; when it is impossible to imagine that things could get better. Yet, my family kept reaching for help and never gave up. It wasn’t easy and certainly, it has not been a single straight line from addiction to recovery, but over time we went from hell to happiness. I’m optimistic you can get there, too. Let’s do this together.

Paul Kusiak is a father of two sons in recovery and one of the most dedicated Parent Coaches at Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Ron Grover

“What have I learned?” I think this is the most important question a parent of a teen with an addiction can ask him or herself. This self-reflective question focuses on you, the parent, and not the child with the drug problem.

In the midst of crisis and drama, it is difficult to figure out what to do to support a loved one with an addiction. A parent cannot deal successfully with the chaos this disease brings if he or she is filled with fear and anger.

True education occurs when we can sit quietly and reflect upon the events. We can look critically at our own role as a loving and supportive parent. Without quiet contemplation and analysis of your own actions, a parent can fall into the same traps and reactions. After a long period of doing the same thing over and over again, you may begin questioning, “Who is the crazy one in this picture?”

Ron is the Director of Human Resources for a manufacturing company. He lives in Kansas and is the parent of a son in his early twenties. In January of 2009, Ron began writing an award-winning blog, An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom which is about living with and dealing with an addicted son. Ron reaches out to high schools and tells his family’s story. He is a Parent Ambassador for The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Tim Ryan

As a parent, you need to be up on your kids’ technology, including cell phones, and computers. We need to know what they are doing at all times.

As a parent, you are responsible for your kids, never forget that. Make sure they know they have zero privacy.

Sometimes, you need to love a child from a distance so they alone must own their addiction. If they have a heartbeat, there is hope. We need to look not only at the addiction but also examine the cause of their pain. Be sure to address the underlying issues along with the substance abuse.

Parents also need to get help for themselves. See a therapist, and seek out Alanon, Families Anonymous, and so on. Being in recovery is a good thing. In this faced-paced life with all its pressures, kids are looking for an escape. One bad decision can lead to a road of destruction or death.

Always do your research prior to making a decision on where to get help. Do not trust a Google search. Ultimately it is up to the person with the addiction to get sober, and parents must never enable. If you baby an addict, you will bury an addict. I know this all too well from going through it with my own son.

Tim Ryan is a Motivational Speaker, Executive Director of www.amirf.org, National Director for the Recoveryteam.org, father of five and over 4.5 years sober. He is also the published author of From Dope To Hope available on Amazon.

  Have a wonderful Father’s Day!

  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for the free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

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11 Terrific Fathers Who Are Making A Powerful Difference

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give. He believed in me. ~ Jim Valvano

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day.

It’s the day we remember our dads.

For some, Father’s Day is bittersweet because of their child’s substance use.

Today, I’m featuring some great dads who have taken the devastation they experienced with their child’s addiction and are using it for good. They have made it their mission to spread awareness about the dangers of drug use. They are giving back to make life a better place for those coming after.

There is so much work to be done and these dads are helping to pave the way.

Here are 11 amazing fathers who have stepped up to take on addiction.

David Cooke

As a dad who believed he could fix anything, I felt more like a failure every time my son fell deeper into his addiction. It nearly destroyed me. Fortunately, in the midst of my brokenness, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone, including me, any good.

Hopefully, there will be a day when your child finds their way back; so you can celebrate their success and be there for them. However, if you allow their addiction to destroy you, there will be nothing left for them to hang on to when they need you the most.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present, and stronger for yourself when they are not!

David Cooke is the founder of 100 Pedals, Recovery for Parents of Addicts, which is a non-profit resource for moms and dads and other family members.  

Dave Humes

“First save the life. Where there is life, there is hope.”

My son, Greg, relapsed after seventeen months of sobriety. In his new-found sobriety, he was doing everything right in his life. Greg was in regular contact with my wife, Gail, and me. He was working. Greg was getting in shape for a ‘mud ruckus’ for MS. He was doing community service. One night he ran into some of his old running mates. The strength of the disease raised its ugly head and his relapse cost him his life.

In the aftermath of Greg’s death, the investigating detective said to me, “If we had a 911 Good Samaritan Law or a Narcan Law, your son might very well be alive today.” After the shock of his unnecessary death, I made a vow to Greg that I would somehow save a life in his name. The words of the detective were like that song that gets stuck in your brain, words I live with every day.

And sometimes you get lucky. I had some conversations with David Sheff. I worked as a parent advocate with Gary Mendell. I was partnered with two wonderful people, Jeanne & Don Keister, who founded atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. I am very proud to say that by working with all of these selfless advocates, we have instituted 911 Good Samaritan laws and Naloxone laws in Delaware, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

My vow to my son, Greg, has been honored. A life saved in his name. And now I’ve gotten greedy. More lives saved. We continue to battle the public health crisis of the 21st century, over 550,000 lives unnecessarily lost.

On Father’s Day, it will be a day of “Saudade” – the joy of spending it with my son, Dave, and the sadness and emptiness because Greg is not with us.

Dave Humes is a board member of atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. Upon the death of his son, Greg, he closed his business in order to make a difference in the lives of those struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

David Sheff

Research says that most likely your child is going to be OK. In the middle of it, you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Of course, there are no guarantees, this disease is life threatening, so we have to take it seriously.  Most young people who become addicted will be OK.  That is the first thing to know.

The second thing to know is that it is so stressful that it can cause lives to crumble. Parents get divorced, and families explode, so we need to get help by going to therapy or going to Al-Anon meetings or whatever support is helpful. The hopeful part is that when you do have that help, you will feel better. It still doesn’t make this easy. Nothing makes this easy, but you can help yourself by making better decisions.  You can reduce your suffering considerably.

There is also hope that as this field progresses, we are going to learn more about why people use and how to stop them from using the first place, why drug use escalates and how we can stop it before it gets to be a serious addiction. And when it does escalate, to better understand what addiction is and how we can better treat it.

David Sheff is a journalist and New York Times best-selling author. His books on addiction include Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction and Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy.

Dean Dauphinais

Stay calm. This is something that will likely take some practice for most people (myself included). No matter how much anger you feel toward your loved one and their substance abuse problem, losing your cool and yelling at them will not make anything better.

In fact, it’s likely to make things worse. Believe me; I was anything but calm early on in my son’s addiction. I have since learned that cooler heads definitely prevail.

Work on your own recovery. So many parents and loved ones of people with addictions don’t realize that their own recovery is just as important as the addict’s. In fact, it might be more important. If you are a physical/emotional wreck, you will be unable to help your loved one in any positive way. Instead of one healthy person being available to help one sick person, there ends up being two sick people, neither of whom can help the other.

To paraphrase David Sheff, don’t become addicted to your loved one’s addiction. And know this: You. Can. Get. Through. It.

Dean Dauphinais is the author of the blog My Life As 3D, a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, and a former Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery.

Gary Mendell

If I can give you one piece of advice, show empathy towards your loved one. They have a disease no different than any other physical disease like cancer or diabetes.

Because of stigma, doctors aren’t treating it. Researchers aren’t getting enough money for research. People who are addicted will not seek treatment.

Most of the time it is because they are afraid of family, friends, and coworkers finding out about it. If you had asked me how many fathers in my small town had a son who was addicted, I would’ve raised my hand and said, “I’m one of the few.”

But I’ve learned that there are 25 million Americans today that are actively addicted. That’s one-quarter of American families.” Our teens, our youth, and all our loved ones are dying in communities all across America, not just inner cities.

This is a huge epidemic around this country (Business Insider).

Gary Mendell is the founder, Chairman, and CEO of Shatterproof. After losing his son Brian to addiction in 2011, Gary founded Shatterproof to spare other families the tragedy he has suffered. 

Herby Bell

My best advice is to learn how to get in touch with their own intuition. The answers are inside if we create a process for ourselves to be introspective. Let’s examine how we view our lives and start the education process very early on. This is an intergenerational, family legacy, multi-factorial problem, including a genetic predisposition. It requires a holistic, integrated approach.

Education, education, education.

Open up and start the conversation. Let’s get addiction out of the closet and turn over every stone we possibly can because there are different strokes for different folks.

I love the concept of rehab, but now let’s get prehab and let’s get posthab. Let’s make it a part of our culture early on in our educational system so that we can prevent a lot of this very expensive treatment. We can find a way to offer continued–aftercare–much like diabetes or heart disease. Ultimately, that will abate a lot of very expensive relapse episodes and recidivism in our prison systems.

It can be more robust; it can be spread out more in the culture. We like to say, “Let’s have the addiction treatment community be the entire community from the beat cop, to the teacher, to my brother.” Everybody can get up to speed on this because addiction touches all of us, one way or another.

Herby Bell, D.C., D.A.C.A.C.D© has been a practicing chiropractor for over 30 years. He is currently in private practice at Recovery Health Care in Redwood City, CA where he specializes in individuals with addictions. Herby also lectures at The Sequoia Center, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Redwood City and he produced a podcast entitled, Sober Conversations (iTunes) exploring sober and wellness lifestyles.

Jim Hood

When I lost my son, Austin, to addiction, I had no idea this tragedy was happening all over America – that one in three households in America is impacted, and that a life is lost to addiction every 4 minutes.  That is the equivalent of a jumbo jet falling from the sky every day, with no survivors.

“With alcohol and other drug-related deaths taking more than 350 Americans from us each and every day, and 20.8 million people currently struggling with substance use disorders, virtually every family in America is affected – this is the moment to share what we know and what we can do about it.”

One of the many ways Facing Addiction is helping is by creating the Addiction Resource Hub, the most comprehensive collection of addiction-related resources ever assembled to help people searching for information about prevention, intervention, treatment or recovery.  You can find it at www.facingaddiction.org.

We know there are solutions to the addiction crisis, and it’s time for America to start facing addiction and exercise the political and social will to act on those solutions.

Jim Hood is the Co-Founder and CEO of Facing Addiction, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the addiction crisis in America.

Kim Manlove

The disease of addiction is very powerful…and it is particularly powerful when it begins in adolescence. Barely six months after initiating treatment, our son David died in a drug-related drowning at a friend’s home in Geist.

Since his death, my wife and I have learned many things about addiction…primarily that it is a powerful disease that can be deadly…especially when it starts in adolescence.

And that even when you do the right things and get the help you need…bad things still happen. Despite what happened to our son, we are convinced that treatment for addiction works and that recovery is possible for everyone.

Yet shame and stigma continue to have a stranglehold on those who suffer from addiction, and it is important now more than ever that we treat addiction like other chronic medical diseases like diabetes and cancer.

After the shattering loss of his youngest son, Kim has gone on to start The 24 Group, and the 24 Group Facebook Page to help spread the word about the dangers of substance abuse. He is a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. Kim has written a heartfelt book about the loss of his son, entitled, Odyssey. He has a video about the family’s story entitled, Just Your Normal High School Boy. Kim has shared his family’s story on national TV.

Paul Kusiak

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing upbeat stories when I know that many loving parents have tried everything, yet still lost their child. My heart breaks for these families. No one has all the answers. Sometimes, all we can do is the best we can, with the information that we have at the time, and hope and pray our child gets through their darkest moments.

Despite the horrific grip drugs have on many individuals, families, and communities, no one should have to fight this alone. When my boys were at their worst, I didn’t imagine we’d be where we are today. Finding and accessing resources and having good outcomes may feel impossible, but it’s not.

I know what it’s like to be at your wit’s end; when it is impossible to imagine that things could get better. Yet, my family kept reaching for help and never gave up. It wasn’t easy and certainly, it has not been a single straight line from addiction to recovery, but over time we went from hell to happiness. I’m optimistic you can get there, too. Let’s do this together.

Paul Kusiak is a father of two sons in recovery and one of the most dedicated Parent Coaches at Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Ron Grover

“What have I learned?” I think this is the most important question a parent of a teen with an addiction can ask him or herself. This self-reflective question focuses on you, the parent, and not the child with the drug problem.

In the midst of crisis and drama, it is difficult to figure out what to do to support a loved one with an addiction. A parent cannot deal successfully with the chaos this disease brings if he or she is filled with fear and anger.

True education occurs when we can sit quietly and reflect upon the events. We can look critically at our own role as a loving and supportive parent. Without quiet contemplation and analysis of your own actions, a parent can fall into the same traps and reactions. After a long period of doing the same thing over and over again, you may begin questioning, “Who is the crazy one in this picture?”

Ron is the Director of Human Resources for a manufacturing company. He lives in Kansas and is the parent of a son in his early twenties. In January of 2009, Ron began writing an award-winning blog, An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom which is about living with and dealing with an addicted son. Ron reaches out to high schools and tells his family’s story. He is a Parent Ambassador for The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Tim Ryan

As a parent, you need to be up on your kids’ technology, including cell phones, and computers. We need to know what they are doing at all times.

As a parent, you are responsible for your kids, never forget that. Make sure they know they have zero privacy.

Sometimes, you need to love a child from a distance so they alone must own their addiction. If they have a heartbeat, there is hope. We need to look not only at the addiction but also examine the cause of their pain. Be sure to address the underlying issues along with the substance abuse.

Parents also need to get help for themselves. See a therapist, and seek out Alanon, Families Anonymous, and so on. Being in recovery is a good thing. In this faced-paced life with all its pressures, kids are looking for an escape. One bad decision can lead to a road of destruction or death.

Always do your research prior to making a decision on where to get help. Do not trust a Google search. Ultimately it is up to the person with the addiction to get sober, and parents must never enable. If you baby an addict, you will bury an addict. I know this all too well from going through it with my own son.

Tim Ryan is a Motivational Speaker, Executive Director of www.amirf.org, National Director for the Recoveryteam.org, father of five and over 4.5 years sober. He is also the published author of From Dope To Hope available on Amazon.

  Have a wonderful Father’s Day!

  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for the free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

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Save

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from Drug Rehab Treatment Near Me https://cathytaughinbaugh.com/11-terrific-fathers-who-are-making-a-powerful-difference/ from Addiction Treatment News https://addictiontreatmentnews.tumblr.com/post/174954840502

[darrellafrytx]

11 Terrific Fathers Who Are Making A Powerful Difference

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give. He believed in me. ~ Jim Valvano

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day.

It’s the day we remember our dads.

For some, Father’s Day is bittersweet because of their child’s substance use.

Today, I’m featuring some great dads who have taken the devastation they experienced with their child’s addiction and are using it for good. They have made it their mission to spread awareness about the dangers of drug use. They are giving back to make life a better place for those coming after.

There is so much work to be done and these dads are helping to pave the way.

Here are 11 amazing fathers who have stepped up to take on addiction.

David Cooke

As a dad who believed he could fix anything, I felt more like a failure every time my son fell deeper into his addiction. It nearly destroyed me. Fortunately, in the midst of my brokenness, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone, including me, any good.

Hopefully, there will be a day when your child finds their way back; so you can celebrate their success and be there for them. However, if you allow their addiction to destroy you, there will be nothing left for them to hang on to when they need you the most.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present, and stronger for yourself when they are not!

David Cooke is the founder of 100 Pedals, Recovery for Parents of Addicts, which is a non-profit resource for moms and dads and other family members.  

Dave Humes

“First save the life. Where there is life, there is hope.”

My son, Greg, relapsed after seventeen months of sobriety. In his new-found sobriety, he was doing everything right in his life. Greg was in regular contact with my wife, Gail, and me. He was working. Greg was getting in shape for a ‘mud ruckus’ for MS. He was doing community service. One night he ran into some of his old running mates. The strength of the disease raised its ugly head and his relapse cost him his life.

In the aftermath of Greg’s death, the investigating detective said to me, “If we had a 911 Good Samaritan Law or a Narcan Law, your son might very well be alive today.” After the shock of his unnecessary death, I made a vow to Greg that I would somehow save a life in his name. The words of the detective were like that song that gets stuck in your brain, words I live with every day.

And sometimes you get lucky. I had some conversations with David Sheff. I worked as a parent advocate with Gary Mendell. I was partnered with two wonderful people, Jeanne & Don Keister, who founded atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. I am very proud to say that by working with all of these selfless advocates, we have instituted 911 Good Samaritan laws and Naloxone laws in Delaware, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

My vow to my son, Greg, has been honored. A life saved in his name. And now I’ve gotten greedy. More lives saved. We continue to battle the public health crisis of the 21st century, over 550,000 lives unnecessarily lost.

On Father’s Day, it will be a day of “Saudade” – the joy of spending it with my son, Dave, and the sadness and emptiness because Greg is not with us.

Dave Humes is a board member of atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. Upon the death of his son, Greg, he closed his business in order to make a difference in the lives of those struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

David Sheff

Research says that most likely your child is going to be OK. In the middle of it, you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Of course, there are no guarantees, this disease is life threatening, so we have to take it seriously.  Most young people who become addicted will be OK.  That is the first thing to know.

The second thing to know is that it is so stressful that it can cause lives to crumble. Parents get divorced, and families explode, so we need to get help by going to therapy or going to Al-Anon meetings or whatever support is helpful. The hopeful part is that when you do have that help, you will feel better. It still doesn’t make this easy. Nothing makes this easy, but you can help yourself by making better decisions.  You can reduce your suffering considerably.

There is also hope that as this field progresses, we are going to learn more about why people use and how to stop them from using the first place, why drug use escalates and how we can stop it before it gets to be a serious addiction. And when it does escalate, to better understand what addiction is and how we can better treat it.

David Sheff is a journalist and New York Times best-selling author. His books on addiction include Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction and Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy.

Dean Dauphinais

Stay calm. This is something that will likely take some practice for most people (myself included). No matter how much anger you feel toward your loved one and their substance abuse problem, losing your cool and yelling at them will not make anything better.

In fact, it’s likely to make things worse. Believe me; I was anything but calm early on in my son’s addiction. I have since learned that cooler heads definitely prevail.

Work on your own recovery. So many parents and loved ones of people with addictions don’t realize that their own recovery is just as important as the addict’s. In fact, it might be more important. If you are a physical/emotional wreck, you will be unable to help your loved one in any positive way. Instead of one healthy person being available to help one sick person, there ends up being two sick people, neither of whom can help the other.

To paraphrase David Sheff, don’t become addicted to your loved one’s addiction. And know this: You. Can. Get. Through. It.

Dean Dauphinais is the author of the blog My Life As 3D, a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, and a former Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery.

Gary Mendell

If I can give you one piece of advice, show empathy towards your loved one. They have a disease no different than any other physical disease like cancer or diabetes.

Because of stigma, doctors aren’t treating it. Researchers aren’t getting enough money for research. People who are addicted will not seek treatment.

Most of the time it is because they are afraid of family, friends, and coworkers finding out about it. If you had asked me how many fathers in my small town had a son who was addicted, I would’ve raised my hand and said, “I’m one of the few.”

But I’ve learned that there are 25 million Americans today that are actively addicted. That’s one-quarter of American families.” Our teens, our youth, and all our loved ones are dying in communities all across America, not just inner cities.

This is a huge epidemic around this country (Business Insider).

Gary Mendell is the founder, Chairman, and CEO of Shatterproof. After losing his son Brian to addiction in 2011, Gary founded Shatterproof to spare other families the tragedy he has suffered. 

Herby Bell

My best advice is to learn how to get in touch with their own intuition. The answers are inside if we create a process for ourselves to be introspective. Let’s examine how we view our lives and start the education process very early on. This is an intergenerational, family legacy, multi-factorial problem, including a genetic predisposition. It requires a holistic, integrated approach.

Education, education, education.

Open up and start the conversation. Let’s get addiction out of the closet and turn over every stone we possibly can because there are different strokes for different folks.

I love the concept of rehab, but now let’s get prehab and let’s get posthab. Let’s make it a part of our culture early on in our educational system so that we can prevent a lot of this very expensive treatment. We can find a way to offer continued–aftercare–much like diabetes or heart disease. Ultimately, that will abate a lot of very expensive relapse episodes and recidivism in our prison systems.

It can be more robust; it can be spread out more in the culture. We like to say, “Let’s have the addiction treatment community be the entire community from the beat cop, to the teacher, to my brother.” Everybody can get up to speed on this because addiction touches all of us, one way or another.

Herby Bell, D.C., D.A.C.A.C.D© has been a practicing chiropractor for over 30 years. He is currently in private practice at Recovery Health Care in Redwood City, CA where he specializes in individuals with addictions. Herby also lectures at The Sequoia Center, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Redwood City and he produced a podcast entitled, Sober Conversations (iTunes) exploring sober and wellness lifestyles.

Jim Hood

When I lost my son, Austin, to addiction, I had no idea this tragedy was happening all over America – that one in three households in America is impacted, and that a life is lost to addiction every 4 minutes.  That is the equivalent of a jumbo jet falling from the sky every day, with no survivors.

“With alcohol and other drug-related deaths taking more than 350 Americans from us each and every day, and 20.8 million people currently struggling with substance use disorders, virtually every family in America is affected – this is the moment to share what we know and what we can do about it.”

One of the many ways Facing Addiction is helping is by creating the Addiction Resource Hub, the most comprehensive collection of addiction-related resources ever assembled to help people searching for information about prevention, intervention, treatment or recovery.  You can find it at www.facingaddiction.org.

We know there are solutions to the addiction crisis, and it’s time for America to start facing addiction and exercise the political and social will to act on those solutions.

Jim Hood is the Co-Founder and CEO of Facing Addiction, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the addiction crisis in America.

Kim Manlove

The disease of addiction is very powerful…and it is particularly powerful when it begins in adolescence. Barely six months after initiating treatment, our son David died in a drug-related drowning at a friend’s home in Geist.

Since his death, my wife and I have learned many things about addiction…primarily that it is a powerful disease that can be deadly…especially when it starts in adolescence.

And that even when you do the right things and get the help you need…bad things still happen. Despite what happened to our son, we are convinced that treatment for addiction works and that recovery is possible for everyone.

Yet shame and stigma continue to have a stranglehold on those who suffer from addiction, and it is important now more than ever that we treat addiction like other chronic medical diseases like diabetes and cancer.

After the shattering loss of his youngest son, Kim has gone on to start The 24 Group, and the 24 Group Facebook Page to help spread the word about the dangers of substance abuse. He is a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. Kim has written a heartfelt book about the loss of his son, entitled, Odyssey. He has a video about the family’s story entitled, Just Your Normal High School Boy. Kim has shared his family’s story on national TV.

Paul Kusiak

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing upbeat stories when I know that many loving parents have tried everything, yet still lost their child. My heart breaks for these families. No one has all the answers. Sometimes, all we can do is the best we can, with the information that we have at the time, and hope and pray our child gets through their darkest moments.

Despite the horrific grip drugs have on many individuals, families, and communities, no one should have to fight this alone. When my boys were at their worst, I didn’t imagine we’d be where we are today. Finding and accessing resources and having good outcomes may feel impossible, but it’s not.

I know what it’s like to be at your wit’s end; when it is impossible to imagine that things could get better. Yet, my family kept reaching for help and never gave up. It wasn’t easy and certainly, it has not been a single straight line from addiction to recovery, but over time we went from hell to happiness. I’m optimistic you can get there, too. Let’s do this together.

Paul Kusiak is a father of two sons in recovery and one of the most dedicated Parent Coaches at Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Ron Grover

“What have I learned?” I think this is the most important question a parent of a teen with an addiction can ask him or herself. This self-reflective question focuses on you, the parent, and not the child with the drug problem.

In the midst of crisis and drama, it is difficult to figure out what to do to support a loved one with an addiction. A parent cannot deal successfully with the chaos this disease brings if he or she is filled with fear and anger.

True education occurs when we can sit quietly and reflect upon the events. We can look critically at our own role as a loving and supportive parent. Without quiet contemplation and analysis of your own actions, a parent can fall into the same traps and reactions. After a long period of doing the same thing over and over again, you may begin questioning, “Who is the crazy one in this picture?”

Ron is the Director of Human Resources for a manufacturing company. He lives in Kansas and is the parent of a son in his early twenties. In January of 2009, Ron began writing an award-winning blog, An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom which is about living with and dealing with an addicted son. Ron reaches out to high schools and tells his family’s story. He is a Parent Ambassador for The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Tim Ryan

As a parent, you need to be up on your kids’ technology, including cell phones, and computers. We need to know what they are doing at all times.

As a parent, you are responsible for your kids, never forget that. Make sure they know they have zero privacy.

Sometimes, you need to love a child from a distance so they alone must own their addiction. If they have a heartbeat, there is hope. We need to look not only at the addiction but also examine the cause of their pain. Be sure to address the underlying issues along with the substance abuse.

Parents also need to get help for themselves. See a therapist, and seek out Alanon, Families Anonymous, and so on. Being in recovery is a good thing. In this faced-paced life with all its pressures, kids are looking for an escape. One bad decision can lead to a road of destruction or death.

Always do your research prior to making a decision on where to get help. Do not trust a Google search. Ultimately it is up to the person with the addiction to get sober, and parents must never enable. If you baby an addict, you will bury an addict. I know this all too well from going through it with my own son.

Tim Ryan is a Motivational Speaker, Executive Director of www.amirf.org, National Director for the Recoveryteam.org, father of five and over 4.5 years sober. He is also the published author of From Dope To Hope available on Amazon.

  Have a wonderful Father’s Day!

  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for the free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

from Drug Rehab Treatment Near Me https://cathytaughinbaugh.com/11-terrific-fathers-who-are-making-a-powerful-difference/ from Addiction Treatment News https://addictiontreatmentnews.tumblr.com/post/174949080267

[darrellafrytx]

11 Terrific Fathers Who Are Making A Powerful Difference

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give. He believed in me. ~ Jim Valvano

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day.

It’s the day we remember our dads.

For some, Father’s Day is bittersweet because of their child’s substance use.

Today, I’m featuring some great dads who have taken the devastation they experienced with their child’s addiction and are using it for good. They have made it their mission to spread awareness about the dangers of drug use. They are giving back to make life a better place for those coming after.

There is so much work to be done and these dads are helping to pave the way.

Here are 11 amazing fathers who have stepped up to take on addiction.

David Cooke

As a dad who believed he could fix anything, I felt more like a failure every time my son fell deeper into his addiction. It nearly destroyed me. Fortunately, in the midst of my brokenness, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone, including me, any good.

Hopefully, there will be a day when your child finds their way back; so you can celebrate their success and be there for them. However, if you allow their addiction to destroy you, there will be nothing left for them to hang on to when they need you the most.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present, and stronger for yourself when they are not!

David Cooke is the founder of 100 Pedals, Recovery for Parents of Addicts, which is a non-profit resource for moms and dads and other family members.  

Dave Humes

“First save the life. Where there is life, there is hope.”

My son, Greg, relapsed after seventeen months of sobriety. In his new-found sobriety, he was doing everything right in his life. Greg was in regular contact with my wife, Gail, and me. He was working. Greg was getting in shape for a ‘mud ruckus’ for MS. He was doing community service. One night he ran into some of his old running mates. The strength of the disease raised its ugly head and his relapse cost him his life.

In the aftermath of Greg’s death, the investigating detective said to me, “If we had a 911 Good Samaritan Law or a Narcan Law, your son might very well be alive today.” After the shock of his unnecessary death, I made a vow to Greg that I would somehow save a life in his name. The words of the detective were like that song that gets stuck in your brain, words I live with every day.

And sometimes you get lucky. I had some conversations with David Sheff. I worked as a parent advocate with Gary Mendell. I was partnered with two wonderful people, Jeanne & Don Keister, who founded atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. I am very proud to say that by working with all of these selfless advocates, we have instituted 911 Good Samaritan laws and Naloxone laws in Delaware, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

My vow to my son, Greg, has been honored. A life saved in his name. And now I’ve gotten greedy. More lives saved. We continue to battle the public health crisis of the 21st century, over 550,000 lives unnecessarily lost.

On Father’s Day, it will be a day of “Saudade” – the joy of spending it with my son, Dave, and the sadness and emptiness because Greg is not with us.

Dave Humes is a board member of atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. Upon the death of his son, Greg, he closed his business in order to make a difference in the lives of those struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

David Sheff

Research says that most likely your child is going to be OK. In the middle of it, you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Of course, there are no guarantees, this disease is life threatening, so we have to take it seriously.  Most young people who become addicted will be OK.  That is the first thing to know.

The second thing to know is that it is so stressful that it can cause lives to crumble. Parents get divorced, and families explode, so we need to get help by going to therapy or going to Al-Anon meetings or whatever support is helpful. The hopeful part is that when you do have that help, you will feel better. It still doesn’t make this easy. Nothing makes this easy, but you can help yourself by making better decisions.  You can reduce your suffering considerably.

There is also hope that as this field progresses, we are going to learn more about why people use and how to stop them from using the first place, why drug use escalates and how we can stop it before it gets to be a serious addiction. And when it does escalate, to better understand what addiction is and how we can better treat it.

David Sheff is a journalist and New York Times best-selling author. His books on addiction include Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction and Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy.

Dean Dauphinais

Stay calm. This is something that will likely take some practice for most people (myself included). No matter how much anger you feel toward your loved one and their substance abuse problem, losing your cool and yelling at them will not make anything better.

In fact, it’s likely to make things worse. Believe me; I was anything but calm early on in my son’s addiction. I have since learned that cooler heads definitely prevail.

Work on your own recovery. So many parents and loved ones of people with addictions don’t realize that their own recovery is just as important as the addict’s. In fact, it might be more important. If you are a physical/emotional wreck, you will be unable to help your loved one in any positive way. Instead of one healthy person being available to help one sick person, there ends up being two sick people, neither of whom can help the other.

To paraphrase David Sheff, don’t become addicted to your loved one’s addiction. And know this: You. Can. Get. Through. It.

Dean Dauphinais is the author of the blog My Life As 3D, a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, and a former Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery.

Gary Mendell

If I can give you one piece of advice, show empathy towards your loved one. They have a disease no different than any other physical disease like cancer or diabetes.

Because of stigma, doctors aren’t treating it. Researchers aren’t getting enough money for research. People who are addicted will not seek treatment.

Most of the time it is because they are afraid of family, friends, and coworkers finding out about it. If you had asked me how many fathers in my small town had a son who was addicted, I would’ve raised my hand and said, “I’m one of the few.”

But I’ve learned that there are 25 million Americans today that are actively addicted. That’s one-quarter of American families.” Our teens, our youth, and all our loved ones are dying in communities all across America, not just inner cities.

This is a huge epidemic around this country (Business Insider).

Gary Mendell is the founder, Chairman, and CEO of Shatterproof. After losing his son Brian to addiction in 2011, Gary founded Shatterproof to spare other families the tragedy he has suffered. 

Herby Bell

My best advice is to learn how to get in touch with their own intuition. The answers are inside if we create a process for ourselves to be introspective. Let’s examine how we view our lives and start the education process very early on. This is an intergenerational, family legacy, multi-factorial problem, including a genetic predisposition. It requires a holistic, integrated approach.

Education, education, education.

Open up and start the conversation. Let’s get addiction out of the closet and turn over every stone we possibly can because there are different strokes for different folks.

I love the concept of rehab, but now let’s get prehab and let’s get posthab. Let’s make it a part of our culture early on in our educational system so that we can prevent a lot of this very expensive treatment. We can find a way to offer continued–aftercare–much like diabetes or heart disease. Ultimately, that will abate a lot of very expensive relapse episodes and recidivism in our prison systems.

It can be more robust; it can be spread out more in the culture. We like to say, “Let’s have the addiction treatment community be the entire community from the beat cop, to the teacher, to my brother.” Everybody can get up to speed on this because addiction touches all of us, one way or another.

Herby Bell, D.C., D.A.C.A.C.D© has been a practicing chiropractor for over 30 years. He is currently in private practice at Recovery Health Care in Redwood City, CA where he specializes in individuals with addictions. Herby also lectures at The Sequoia Center, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Redwood City and he produced a podcast entitled, Sober Conversations (iTunes) exploring sober and wellness lifestyles.

Jim Hood

When I lost my son, Austin, to addiction, I had no idea this tragedy was happening all over America – that one in three households in America is impacted, and that a life is lost to addiction every 4 minutes.  That is the equivalent of a jumbo jet falling from the sky every day, with no survivors.

“With alcohol and other drug-related deaths taking more than 350 Americans from us each and every day, and 20.8 million people currently struggling with substance use disorders, virtually every family in America is affected – this is the moment to share what we know and what we can do about it.”

One of the many ways Facing Addiction is helping is by creating the Addiction Resource Hub, the most comprehensive collection of addiction-related resources ever assembled to help people searching for information about prevention, intervention, treatment or recovery.  You can find it at www.facingaddiction.org.

We know there are solutions to the addiction crisis, and it’s time for America to start facing addiction and exercise the political and social will to act on those solutions.

Jim Hood is the Co-Founder and CEO of Facing Addiction, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the addiction crisis in America.

Kim Manlove

The disease of addiction is very powerful…and it is particularly powerful when it begins in adolescence. Barely six months after initiating treatment, our son David died in a drug-related drowning at a friend’s home in Geist.

Since his death, my wife and I have learned many things about addiction…primarily that it is a powerful disease that can be deadly…especially when it starts in adolescence.

And that even when you do the right things and get the help you need…bad things still happen. Despite what happened to our son, we are convinced that treatment for addiction works and that recovery is possible for everyone.

Yet shame and stigma continue to have a stranglehold on those who suffer from addiction, and it is important now more than ever that we treat addiction like other chronic medical diseases like diabetes and cancer.

After the shattering loss of his youngest son, Kim has gone on to start The 24 Group, and the 24 Group Facebook Page to help spread the word about the dangers of substance abuse. He is a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. Kim has written a heartfelt book about the loss of his son, entitled, Odyssey. He has a video about the family’s story entitled, Just Your Normal High School Boy. Kim has shared his family’s story on national TV.

Paul Kusiak

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing upbeat stories when I know that many loving parents have tried everything, yet still lost their child. My heart breaks for these families. No one has all the answers. Sometimes, all we can do is the best we can, with the information that we have at the time, and hope and pray our child gets through their darkest moments.

Despite the horrific grip drugs have on many individuals, families, and communities, no one should have to fight this alone. When my boys were at their worst, I didn’t imagine we’d be where we are today. Finding and accessing resources and having good outcomes may feel impossible, but it’s not.

I know what it’s like to be at your wit’s end; when it is impossible to imagine that things could get better. Yet, my family kept reaching for help and never gave up. It wasn’t easy and certainly, it has not been a single straight line from addiction to recovery, but over time we went from hell to happiness. I’m optimistic you can get there, too. Let’s do this together.

Paul Kusiak is a father of two sons in recovery and one of the most dedicated Parent Coaches at Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Ron Grover

“What have I learned?” I think this is the most important question a parent of a teen with an addiction can ask him or herself. This self-reflective question focuses on you, the parent, and not the child with the drug problem.

In the midst of crisis and drama, it is difficult to figure out what to do to support a loved one with an addiction. A parent cannot deal successfully with the chaos this disease brings if he or she is filled with fear and anger.

True education occurs when we can sit quietly and reflect upon the events. We can look critically at our own role as a loving and supportive parent. Without quiet contemplation and analysis of your own actions, a parent can fall into the same traps and reactions. After a long period of doing the same thing over and over again, you may begin questioning, “Who is the crazy one in this picture?”

Ron is the Director of Human Resources for a manufacturing company. He lives in Kansas and is the parent of a son in his early twenties. In January of 2009, Ron began writing an award-winning blog, An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom which is about living with and dealing with an addicted son. Ron reaches out to high schools and tells his family’s story. He is a Parent Ambassador for The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Tim Ryan

As a parent, you need to be up on your kids’ technology, including cell phones, and computers. We need to know what they are doing at all times.

As a parent, you are responsible for your kids, never forget that. Make sure they know they have zero privacy.

Sometimes, you need to love a child from a distance so they alone must own their addiction. If they have a heartbeat, there is hope. We need to look not only at the addiction but also examine the cause of their pain. Be sure to address the underlying issues along with the substance abuse.

Parents also need to get help for themselves. See a therapist, and seek out Alanon, Families Anonymous, and so on. Being in recovery is a good thing. In this faced-paced life with all its pressures, kids are looking for an escape. One bad decision can lead to a road of destruction or death.

Always do your research prior to making a decision on where to get help. Do not trust a Google search. Ultimately it is up to the person with the addiction to get sober, and parents must never enable. If you baby an addict, you will bury an addict. I know this all too well from going through it with my own son.

Tim Ryan is a Motivational Speaker, Executive Director of www.amirf.org, National Director for the Recoveryteam.org, father of five and over 4.5 years sober. He is also the published author of From Dope To Hope available on Amazon.

  Have a wonderful Father’s Day!

  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for the free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

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[addictiontreatmentnews]

11 Terrific Fathers Who Are Making A Powerful Difference

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give. He believed in me. ~ Jim Valvano

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day.

It’s the day we remember our dads.

For some, Father’s Day is bittersweet because of their child’s substance use.

Today, I’m featuring some great dads who have taken the devastation they experienced with their child’s addiction and are using it for good. They have made it their mission to spread awareness about the dangers of drug use. They are giving back to make life a better place for those coming after.

There is so much work to be done and these dads are helping to pave the way.

Here are 11 amazing fathers who have stepped up to take on addiction.

David Cooke

As a dad who believed he could fix anything, I felt more like a failure every time my son fell deeper into his addiction. It nearly destroyed me. Fortunately, in the midst of my brokenness, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone, including me, any good.

Hopefully, there will be a day when your child finds their way back; so you can celebrate their success and be there for them. However, if you allow their addiction to destroy you, there will be nothing left for them to hang on to when they need you the most.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present, and stronger for yourself when they are not!

David Cooke is the founder of 100 Pedals, Recovery for Parents of Addicts, which is a non-profit resource for moms and dads and other family members.  

Dave Humes

“First save the life. Where there is life, there is hope.”

My son, Greg, relapsed after seventeen months of sobriety. In his new-found sobriety, he was doing everything right in his life. Greg was in regular contact with my wife, Gail, and me. He was working. Greg was getting in shape for a ‘mud ruckus’ for MS. He was doing community service. One night he ran into some of his old running mates. The strength of the disease raised its ugly head and his relapse cost him his life.

In the aftermath of Greg’s death, the investigating detective said to me, “If we had a 911 Good Samaritan Law or a Narcan Law, your son might very well be alive today.” After the shock of his unnecessary death, I made a vow to Greg that I would somehow save a life in his name. The words of the detective were like that song that gets stuck in your brain, words I live with every day.

And sometimes you get lucky. I had some conversations with David Sheff. I worked as a parent advocate with Gary Mendell. I was partnered with two wonderful people, Jeanne & Don Keister, who founded atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. I am very proud to say that by working with all of these selfless advocates, we have instituted 911 Good Samaritan laws and Naloxone laws in Delaware, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

My vow to my son, Greg, has been honored. A life saved in his name. And now I’ve gotten greedy. More lives saved. We continue to battle the public health crisis of the 21st century, over 550,000 lives unnecessarily lost.

On Father’s Day, it will be a day of “Saudade” – the joy of spending it with my son, Dave, and the sadness and emptiness because Greg is not with us.

Dave Humes is a board member of atTAcK addiction, a truly grass roots advocacy group in Delaware. Upon the death of his son, Greg, he closed his business in order to make a difference in the lives of those struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

David Sheff

Research says that most likely your child is going to be OK. In the middle of it, you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Of course, there are no guarantees, this disease is life threatening, so we have to take it seriously.  Most young people who become addicted will be OK.  That is the first thing to know.

The second thing to know is that it is so stressful that it can cause lives to crumble. Parents get divorced, and families explode, so we need to get help by going to therapy or going to Al-Anon meetings or whatever support is helpful. The hopeful part is that when you do have that help, you will feel better. It still doesn’t make this easy. Nothing makes this easy, but you can help yourself by making better decisions.  You can reduce your suffering considerably.

There is also hope that as this field progresses, we are going to learn more about why people use and how to stop them from using the first place, why drug use escalates and how we can stop it before it gets to be a serious addiction. And when it does escalate, to better understand what addiction is and how we can better treat it.

David Sheff is a journalist and New York Times best-selling author. His books on addiction include Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction and Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy.

Dean Dauphinais

Stay calm. This is something that will likely take some practice for most people (myself included). No matter how much anger you feel toward your loved one and their substance abuse problem, losing your cool and yelling at them will not make anything better.

In fact, it’s likely to make things worse. Believe me; I was anything but calm early on in my son’s addiction. I have since learned that cooler heads definitely prevail.

Work on your own recovery. So many parents and loved ones of people with addictions don’t realize that their own recovery is just as important as the addict’s. In fact, it might be more important. If you are a physical/emotional wreck, you will be unable to help your loved one in any positive way. Instead of one healthy person being available to help one sick person, there ends up being two sick people, neither of whom can help the other.

To paraphrase David Sheff, don’t become addicted to your loved one’s addiction. And know this: You. Can. Get. Through. It.

Dean Dauphinais is the author of the blog My Life As 3D, a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, and a former Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery.

  Gary Mendell

If I can give you one piece of advice, show empathy towards your loved one. They have a disease no different than any other physical disease like cancer or diabetes.

Because of stigma, doctors aren’t treating it. Researchers aren’t getting enough money for research. People who are addicted will not seek treatment.

Most of the time it is because they are afraid of family, friends, and coworkers finding out about it. If you had asked me how many fathers in my small town had a son who was addicted, I would’ve raised my hand and said, “I’m one of the few.”

But I’ve learned that there are 25 million Americans today that are actively addicted. That’s one-quarter of American families.” Our teens, our youth, and all our loved ones are dying in communities all across America, not just inner cities.

This is a huge epidemic around this country (Business Insider).

Gary Mendell is the founder, Chairman, and CEO of Shatterproof. After losing his son Brian to addiction in 2011, Gary founded Shatterproof to spare other families the tragedy he has suffered. 

Herby Bell

My best advice is to learn how to get in touch with their own intuition. The answers are inside if we create a process for ourselves to be introspective. Let’s examine how we view our lives and start the education process very early on. This is an intergenerational, family legacy, multi-factorial problem, including a genetic predisposition. It requires a holistic, integrated approach.

Education, education, education.

Open up and start the conversation. Let’s get addiction out of the closet and turn over every stone we possibly can because there are different strokes for different folks.

I love the concept of rehab, but now let’s get prehab and let’s get posthab. Let’s make it a part of our culture early on in our educational system so that we can prevent a lot of this very expensive treatment. We can find a way to offer continued–aftercare–much like diabetes or heart disease. Ultimately, that will abate a lot of very expensive relapse episodes and recidivism in our prison systems.

It can be more robust; it can be spread out more in the culture. We like to say, “Let’s have the addiction treatment community be the entire community from the beat cop, to the teacher, to my brother.” Everybody can get up to speed on this because addiction touches all of us, one way or another.

Herby Bell, D.C., D.A.C.A.C.D(c) has been a practicing chiropractor for over 30 years. He is currently in private practice at Recovery Health Care in Redwood City, CA where he specializes in individuals with addictions. Herby also lectures at The Sequoia Center, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Redwood City and he produced a podcast entitled, Sober Conversations (iTunes) exploring sober and wellness lifestyles.

Jim Hood

When I lost my son, Austin, to addiction, I had no idea this tragedy was happening all over America – that one in three households in America is impacted, and that a life is lost to addiction every 4 minutes.  That is the equivalent of a jumbo jet falling from the sky every day, with no survivors.

“With alcohol and other drug-related deaths taking more than 350 Americans from us each and every day, and 20.8 million people currently struggling with substance use disorders, virtually every family in America is affected – this is the moment to share what we know and what we can do about it.”

One of the many ways Facing Addiction is helping is by creating the Addiction Resource Hub, the most comprehensive collection of addiction-related resources ever assembled to help people searching for information about prevention, intervention, treatment or recovery.  You can find it at www.facingaddiction.org.

We know there are solutions to the addiction crisis, and it’s time for America to start facing addiction and exercise the political and social will to act on those solutions.

Jim Hood is the Co-Founder and CEO of Facing Addiction, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the addiction crisis in America.

Kim Manlove

The disease of addiction is very powerful…and it is particularly powerful when it begins in adolescence. Barely six months after initiating treatment, our son David died in a drug-related drowning at a friend’s home in Geist.

Since his death, my wife and I have learned many things about addiction…primarily that it is a powerful disease that can be deadly…especially when it starts in adolescence.

And that even when you do the right things and get the help you need…bad things still happen. Despite what happened to our son, we are convinced that treatment for addiction works and that recovery is possible for everyone.

Yet shame and stigma continue to have a stranglehold on those who suffer from addiction, and it is important now more than ever that we treat addiction like other chronic medical diseases like diabetes and cancer.

After the shattering loss of his youngest son, Kim has gone on to start The 24 Group, and the 24 Group Facebook Page to help spread the word about the dangers of substance abuse. He is a Parent Coach for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. Kim has written a heartfelt book about the loss of his son, entitled, Odyssey. He has a video about the family’s story entitled, Just Your Normal High School Boy. Kim has shared his family’s story on national TV.

Paul Kusiak

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing upbeat stories when I know that many loving parents have tried everything, yet still lost their child. My heart breaks for these families. No one has all the answers. Sometimes, all we can do is the best we can, with the information that we have at the time, and hope and pray our child gets through their darkest moments.

Despite the horrific grip drugs have on many individuals, families, and communities, no one should have to fight this alone. When my boys were at their worst, I didn’t imagine we’d be where we are today. Finding and accessing resources and having good outcomes may feel impossible, but it’s not.

I know what it’s like to be at your wit���s end; when it is impossible to imagine that things could get better. Yet, my family kept reaching for help and never gave up. It wasn’t easy and certainly, it has not been a single straight line from addiction to recovery, but over time we went from hell to happiness. I’m optimistic you can get there, too. Let’s do this together.

Paul Kusiak is a father of two sons in recovery and one of the most dedicated Parent Coaches at Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Ron Grover

“What have I learned?” I think this is the most important question a parent of a teen with an addiction can ask him or herself. This self-reflective question focuses on you, the parent, and not the child with the drug problem.

In the midst of crisis and drama, it is difficult to figure out what to do to support a loved one with an addiction. A parent cannot deal successfully with the chaos this disease brings if he or she is filled with fear and anger.

True education occurs when we can sit quietly and reflect upon the events. We can look critically at our own role as a loving and supportive parent. Without quiet contemplation and analysis of your own actions, a parent can fall into the same traps and reactions. After a long period of doing the same thing over and over again, you may begin questioning, “Who is the crazy one in this picture?”

Ron is the Director of Human Resources for a manufacturing company. He lives in Kansas and is the parent of a son in his early twenties. In January of 2009, Ron began writing an award-winning blog, An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom which is about living with and dealing with an addicted son. Ron reaches out to high schools and tells his family’s story. He is a Parent Ambassador for The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Tim Ryan

As a parent, you need to be up on your kids’ technology, including cell phones, and computers. We need to know what they are doing at all times.

As a parent, you are responsible for your kids, never forget that. Make sure they know they have zero privacy.

Sometimes, you need to love a child from a distance so they alone must own their addiction. If they have a heartbeat, there is hope. We need to look not only at the addiction but also examine the cause of their pain. Be sure to address the underlying issues along with the substance abuse.

Parents also need to get help for themselves. See a therapist, and seek out Alanon, Families Anonymous, and so on. Being in recovery is a good thing. In this faced-paced life with all its pressures, kids are looking for an escape. One bad decision can lead to a road of destruction or death.

Always do your research prior to making a decision on where to get help. Do not trust a Google search. Ultimately it is up to the person with the addiction to get sober, and parents must never enable. If you baby an addict, you will bury an addict. I know this all too well from going through it with my own son.

Tim Ryan is a Motivational Speaker, Executive Director of www.amirf.org, National Director for the Recoveryteam.org, father of five and over 4.5 years sober. He is also the published author of From Dope To Hope available on Amazon.

  Have a wonderful Father’s Day!

  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for the free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

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