#i hope she knows how fucking sexy she is oh wait nvm SHE KNOWS SHE'S SEXY

[lordandladywhistledown]

Nicola fucking Coughlan everyone 😩👏🥵

[castle-dominion]

5x1

I need to leave for work in 15 mins (by which I mean 30) but I can watch the first 5 mins of 5x1.

The audio cutting is interesting...

*intense scene about killing ppl* *wakes up after a sexy night*

"that part" lol He's so smiley! RC: So…You’re on—one board with this, right? It’s not some “Oh, I—I quit my job, I almost died, I’m in crisis” thing? Girl go back & say "I apologize, I would like to have my job back pls." RC: So what would you, um… *starts taking off her shirt* …like to do today? I like her hair

MARTHA The CLOSET? Martha totally would have heard them arguing. WE??? the way she blows her hair I love it.

Of course she is hungover! RC: Well, Alexis, as your father, I have to say that I am .. deeply disappointed in you, and yet oddly proud. Becks get out! Out! Out!

Poor ryan, he has no team but at least gates is helping. Oh yeah negatives! Ah the vice P's security detail meaning ryan doesn't even have people there who are not his usual team.

Yucky torture

At least he is apologizing or smth... Why would he be embarrassed about being seen with you? RC: And, call me selfish, but I want to keep what we have together to ourselves a bit longer. KB: Still, it wasn’t your finest hour. RC: No. RC, approaching: But maybe I could…make it up to you…somehow. KB: I suppose since we know that you’re mom’s not gonna be barging in, we could go for a round two. RC: Well, technically it would be a round four, but— *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* RC: She’s stalking us. She knows. KB: Who is it? KR: (O.S.) Beckett, it’s Ryan! KB: *relieved face* RC: Oh. KB: Hide. Quick, in the closet over there. RC: Yeah, I’m not getting in there. KB: Why? I hid in your closet, why can’t you hide in mine? RC: Why should I? KB: Becau… KR, still through the door: Beckett, is everything okay? ((because after all, she did just almost fall & quit her job & they're dealing with her shooter & she is not responding much & this could very well be a hostage situation where someone is telling you what to do & say)) KB: Fine! [Beckett turns back to Castle.] KB: Okay, maybe I’m not ready for anyone to know yet. Right now. RC: Come on, how’s he gonna know? KB: You’re here. Just like I was there. RC: Yes. Yes, the difference being, I have my pants on. ((XD)) Or…or are you embarrassed to be seen with me? KB: Okay. Fine. Just act normal. If that’s even possible for you. [Beckett heads for the door.] RC: It’s me. ((she has a woodstove)) [Beckett prepares to open the door and looks back at Castle to make sure he’s ready. Castle awkwardly tries to strike a casual pose. Beckett opens the door and Ryan enters without waiting to be invited. He has awesome hair. He stops short when he sees Castle.] KR: Hey, Castle. What are you doing here? RC: Oh, I was just walking by…the neighbor…hood. I only live twenty… [Castle thinks for a moment.] RC: uh h…what are you doing here?

Ryan is talking so low & soft (& deep)

Castle: I know him Ryan: *sonic dub eggman voice* what are you two fucking talking about

Holy crap I only just now got to the title card? I thought I made it all the way to the title card before work yesterday!

Course no name, he would not release info like that, it is dangerous

SHe can't go back again, she broke out! She made it! "we've done this before with less to go on" like when u didn't have a body RC: And I’m not so bad myself.

Castle KNOWS that watch? rly?

Heck yeah protests Ooh esposito moments! Oh no he's going to be vigilanteing Wait nvm he's at the army surplus store-- wait that's a recruiting place. I'mma join the protests. I hope esposito doesn't rejoin the military. Fuck the military. (what's in the backpack?)

Ah meeting A Guy.

Didn't use his signal light Lol nice glasses & car. First names <3 Who is Cass? Didn't esposito say just last season that he never got shot? He said it was hard enough for him but beckett got shot? or was it about ryan in the second 3xk episode? JE: Only if you get caught Grunkle Stan: If there are no cops around, anything's legal

Bro don't just wipe the drive, destroy it too. He's a cop, he knows how to destroy evidence

"friend of mine" "you need to help me"

Only 17! Wow

Legal team? Johanna beckett?

Ryan all frustrated Knows the name of officer Hoban

All this detectiving, love it

Course it was a burner lmao I love how ryan is using his desk & esposito's at the same time, he is wheeling between computers rolling between lol

SMITH THAT'S THE NAME & LOOK HE'S THERE

She just broke down his door? she has a personal gun? (I can see that) NO MAN'S DEAD QUICK TAKE IT OUT OF THE FIRE if maddox only JUST was here putting the stuff in the fire, then he might still be nearby HE;S ALIVE

you're right she is not safe...

86? like when you have no more product to make a dish to sell? My chef brain lol. Could be like "86th street & xyz avenue" but he was too out-of-it to finsih his sentence

RC: No. smith is too smart to only keep one copy and in his apartment. He’s too careful for that. It’s…it’s a code, and the answer’s here somewhere. Sh'es right, y'all ought to run Yes, if there is a straw you SHOULD grasp.

Does he own the whole building? Firebox safe? Wow they already found it? lmao that was fast

WAIT IS THAT THE BOX THAT WE SAW AT THE END OF S3? THE ONE MONTY SENT STUFF TO?

Why didn't maddox find it first? he was here first

CM: Turn around. Hands behind your back. Why behind your back? I'd say hands up, visible, or on your head. After that, then I'd suggest turning so you are facing away from me/CM & then the hands were to be behind their backs

Steals her gun (like ryan?)

This is a floor safe? oh wait no that's why he's here he followed them! why doesn't he kill them?

Me, a fiddler, we carry zip nail clippers ok first of all that is a very loose zip tie also don't y'all know how to get out of zip ties/duck tape?

RC: If we got murdered right now, I’d feel so ripped off!

JE out of nowhere: Done what four years ago?

Nice, his name still is CM, cedric marks, cole maddox, perfect for me to type

How did u put a bolo out & have a uniform spot it & tell u? u'r on leave

Nice shoes & ankle gun lmao RC: Nice. What about for me? JE, surprised & angry: Oh, you mean an extra extra piece?

that is typically not how opening a safe works

He's still moving tho lmao they can't see him aim over his shoulder? (which,, u can't aim)

Espt grabbed becks out one way, now she's on the other side?

JE: ... He’s gone.

VG: So, let me see if I understand. As luck would have it, you three were in the neighborhood taking a walk?

VG: I am not interested, Mr. Castle, as you specialize in fiction.

Maddox is there because he was trying to kill beckett & then he was close to her when he died, duh

RC: Bad karma JE: *hits him*

Ryan KNOWS it is the file & is still keeping their secret!

Why would smith tell castle where the file is if it was just going to blow up?

*gives beckett a beer but not castle*

I love how they both draw their personal guns & castle grabs a weapon & I'mma clip this * then he just RECOILS & esposito doesn't put down his gun for the longest time

But also that gun is probably loaded & cocked with the safety off bc they expect it to be someone trying to kill them,, that's dangerous af & then adresses beckett not esposito

montgomery, lockwood, other names... I should do a puzzl e today also nice music

Yeah well I got ending balance <3

It's been five hours? Ages long

you still remember the password? They didn't change it? Nice dirty bomb episode callback

Dang this man is a politician?? lmao this is insane

KB: And then he realized that he couldn't charge mobsters because they wouldn't testify and then the cops would walk. KR: So instead, he decided to get in on the action. If they were collecting ransom from mob guys, he wanted a taste in the form of cash money orders.

It is SO late at night probably, why r they calling him? Let's say it was 5pm when they cracked out the beers & ryan arrived, so it is 10pm, not /that/ late ig...

Why did this cop let these two in?

How does he breathe out through his nose if he has a thing in it?

What favour did he do? not just murder becks. Not just the murder of your mom.

Good idea. Disappear.

Becks using her interrogation skills

How long have they had that phone call outside?

What kind of encouragement?

that was NOT dispatch babe

What if that was HIM disappearing, NOT him getting assassinated

I love the way we see her reflection in the TV

ofc they were disabled

Why does ryan have TWO teams? Someplace she'll be safe but b'y what abt your family

Wow interesting picture thing there,,, like murdoch's brain oof that picture switch was good

Aww she put him up in her bed

Nice sit straight upright with that musical sting or w/e it is

I did- I DO ryan's jacket gives him a good waist. espt's outfit is great too GOSH RYAN STEPPED INTO THE LIGHT & DANG HE PRETTY

ryan's badge number is 42344 for all u fanfic writers

Espt looks at castle as if he's the reason becks is going after him

thought that camera was a gun for a sec Hastings <3 But doesn't she know becks is on admin leave & also quit? Love love love the music

Ryan running thru with his badge

Monty really loved her

She slipped her phone in his pocket? no someone else's phone, a cheap burner or smth love his ring

Why is she revealing her location to him

He's right, probs shouldn't ring that bell but also what if ryan was just looking smth up? & becks has had an hour head start, if she wanted to kill him, she may have already done so unless she's planning on hiding the body well & destroying evidence

Your frigging arm, first names, & then he gives espt his phone bc he knows he doesn't trust himself with his phone or smth idk bro or he knows espt doesn't trust him

"ms beckett" ooh this is the private meeting with the donor lol WB: Never expect that from a politician

Is this story even true? I mean... yeah I can see that but did you do that?

I mean,, that may be true but u also killed a bunch of ppl & are killing more to cover it up? Oooooh that music, it was written backwards He's really good at this, he knows this, he really is a politician, he is good at talking. Hitler & trump & those guys might be way off the side but they were good at speaking

He's right tho, it is not about the power, & also didn't he just say if she had the file she wouldn't need him to say the truth?

She memorized it?

you don't know the details of smith's arrangement tho, don't say you want to make that your deal now!!! Or anyone I care about <3 (also good on her in this bluff) She's right... He really is intimidated...

Nah facial wounds heal well... I have a cut on my nose & it has been like maybe four to six & a half years & it is basically gone, I can barely see it even if I'm looking

btw her outfit is nice

Castle if she killed him u would have heard the shot

Was she putting a ring on just there?

the gift that keeps on giving

KB: I…I don’t know. VG, calmly: I don’t believe you. VG: You’re covering for someone, and I know who it is. But I don’t intend to dig up the past and tarnish Roy Montgomery’s reputation. The fact is, I…I admire your loyalty. I hope you feel that for me someday.

KB: Well, I have to serve out my suspension, same as Esposito. ((So true)) RC: What are you gonna do in the meantime? KB: Oh, I’m pretty sure I’ll think of something. *feels him up below the camera but the elevator doors are still open*

ok I am trying rly hard to get thru these eps in only an hour & a half or less bc I need to give back the DVDs too soon

[givsmn]

my live reaction to Thor: Love and Thunder

okay. so far. i am NOT lovin this. "im tired" dies THATS SAD I'M SAD NOW IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS

BIG SAD RN BIG BIG BIG SAD HES LYIN BESIDE HER GRAVE

yes i would say he's suffered severely but i would not recommend followin the eery whispers in the wind

ooh green, we like green

bro your daughter coulda surv- what'd you slice your palm on

Rapu? that you?

Gorr��� babe you don't look so good- aw he's so cute when he smiles

RAPU FUCK YOU

$10 Gorr finna pick up that sword and dice Rapu

oh well he didn't pick up the sword, it presented to him

AW I WANNA FLOWER PERSON

ooh gold blood, pick that shit up

Steve T-T Tony T^T i hate that thing MOON MOON !!!

musics great tho

KORG, baby

omfg he baby

"fighting the good fight for those who can't fight good" lmfao

Fonda gave me whiplash fr

SHUt UP KORG JFC MY GODS

GROOT <3

DAD BOD, GOD BOD, SAD BOD I CANNAE KORG PLEASE

lmfao Quill did not ask for this

bro Stormbreaker grew roots?

… why is he witch ridin Storkbr- yk what, nvm

DIE SCUM

stfu Thor, you embarrass me sm

OMG the AESTHETIC ASDFGHJKL

GUNS N' ROSES BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

my heat is racin rn sm

THE SPLITS WHAT TTTTTT

lmfao omg the GOTG cannae

bro you broke their temple. it finna shatter ain't it

yep, yep, there it is. poor fellas

Jane Fonda, hello

istg if Darcy eats those w sticks ima flip

yikes, four. sorry bro

she didn't use the sticks!

hope Darcy notices myuh-myuh's gone

self experimentin, are we?

SELVIG <3

wait wait is she finna find Mjolnir and put it back together to give her health

VALKYRIE

i'd buy that spice, please

INFINTY CONEZ!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

wow, they're boomin, that's great

oh gods, more theater

ALAN GRANT?!?!!!!!

bitches, Odin did NOT stand up and no you won't, perish

glitter, glitter mfs

"Transform!" ????!?!?! LIKE POWER RANGERS!?!?!??!

oh gods, McCarthy

this whole thing gave me a stroke, i love it

Jane Fonda finna steal them stones, i get

YEP IT'S FONDA

oop, ominious weather and vibrations oohoohooh

they're levitating

GOD OF DISASTER? ? ? ?

who the fuck is screa- oh good gods

they jus didn't want the goats

NEBULA <3 hi babe

oh where Gamora?

WAIT MANTIS W A GUN!?

omg they can understand them i cannae please please

no that's not it, ima have a stroke

congrats, babe. how many spouses?

Sif's alive? bro i did not know that

he visibly and audibly deflated

inspirational speech, Quill <3 thanks

pft pft pft i'm chockin Let Go Thor Let Go

that's His ship bro, bro, bro

IM CHOKING IM HAVING A STROKE THOR MOVE

you frickincrazy axe

(GOATS SCREAMING)

barren ice wasteland

Falligar is adorable, wHY ARE THEY DEAD THEYRE ADORABLE

bro she's missin an arm

you're not in battle PFT OH SHIT

oh nu, not assgard god butcher

oop ominious figure in white, how sexy

sleepin children

(SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING)

reminds me of the angel of death in the Moses sto- NVM BIG ASS SPYDERS

VAKLYRIE ASDFGHJKL ON HER PEGASAUS BABEEEEEE IN PJS

oh smoll boys

lmfao blood splatter on the camera

METALLIC HUMMING OVERHEAD BABE

AHEHEHEHE DEMONIC GIGGLING

TESSA THOMPSON, MARRY ME POR FAVORA PALIHUG NA

???? he jus treated myuh-myuh like a mf dog jfc

vrooms past i bet HA got it

oh hello ms. FondaBRO THATS SO DAMN COOL IT SPLIT LIKE BUMBLEBEE DID OMFG OMG OMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOGMSOGJSPOFGJOPSFGJPSGJSPGOJSFPOJGPSFOGJSGJ

pft Thor please

it's ms. Fonda to you, childe

omfg the rollerskates thing i cannae please

halloween party??? bro no stop doin myuh-myuh like that

oh yea cryin durin comedy's ik that

Nick Furry.

poor babes

i feel liked that's not how legend-myth works but idk enough abt it to contend

panic attack?

oh you poor idiot

oh bro spoogies

Thor's so shiny tho

~then you know this is going to hurt~

oof raggity man

VALKYRIE <3 <3

blinker light eyeballs fr

bros goin for the children tho idk how they've been sleepin thru it all

THEYRE TAKIN THE CHILDREN

what in the fresh fuckery was that cage on legs

Eight years, seven months, and six days.

please stop bickering

Daryl

THEATER

Jodie Fonda.

bro you srsly tryna call myuh-myuh from her

OMFG STORMBREAKER

is this real? feels like a fever dream

slowly creeps in

STOP BETRAYIN STORMBREAKER YOU ASS

should Thor intervene? bc it might undermine her, idk how this stuff works

what's squeaking

pft

oh good lords

Valkyrie is exhausted

CAPE GROWS BACK?

Heimdall had a son?

AXL

hoi, respect his name

magic eyes

Thor~!

i like Axl sm

pft "oh my god. go away"

those children are finna start cryin, shut up Thor

JODIE FONDA WHY'D THAT COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH STOP IT

omnipotence city

QUETZALCOATL theyre mentioned in my fanfic

Zeus is not wise

goats

she's still an alcholic

myuh-myuh

Thor you're a chil- omg Stormbreaker

oh shit Jane.

geez what'd you go and do that for

Valkyrie <3 3 <3 <3

they're so damn cute

THEY BOOPED SWORD AND MYUH-MYUH

pft don't feed on the children please thanks

those goats make me wanna shoot myself in the foot

the city so pretty- what'd you go and wreck the lawn for babes

Jodie, Jodie, Jodie stop, stop, stop please

he has a boyfriend, it's Bruce

so cool

Valkyrie's so amused

he has feelings for Jodie Fonda

VALKYRIE YOU'RE GREAT

Axl <3 <3 <3

Gorr <3 <3 <3

Gorr, that's not how you bond w children, mate

pft she slaughtered the emotion gods

DRAGON OMG DRAGON ITS A DRGON

BAO??? I WANT BAO

hmmmm zeus

oh good gods how theatrical jfc

omg he copied zeus in every way

Thor's a nerd through and through, fanboy

tf accent is that

HA orgy

?? oh yea he's not that great

HA AGGRESSION the aggression confuses him

en masse.

did he finger gun shackles

oh here it comes

like, it's funny. but also, i'm imaginin that happenin to a woman and :[]

he's prolly gon be reinvited to the orgy

bro the bearded harp guy fainted

T-T his tats

A SHY COURGETTE!?!?!?!? A ZUCCHINI!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

pft disguise off

you tell him, babe

so, chill, baby cake

the theatrics!? "no"

Valkyrie's muscles i cannae please please please

omg Jodie Fonda's muscles i cannae please please please

his accent, it's givin me a stroke

"rush his bum"

lmao i love Fonda's excitement "hell yeah!" knocks off someone's head

JANE'S HAMMER STILL IS SO AWESOME

aw yisssss ms. Valkyrie, relish the goldblood spray

!? KORG nononononononnonono cmon fOR WHATOH DHIT HE CAUGHT IT oh gods the line

i feel like that wouldn't kill him tho

Kog Korg KORG!? omg baby, you're alive PFT mouth

omg that's such a pretty whi- wow, yea no i liove the screamin goats and GNR better

T^T marry me? please, Valkyrie

yO THOSE THINGS STARING INTO THE WINDOW BEFORE THEY FLEW OUT LOOKS LIKE CELESTIALS

screaming goats on rainbows w rock and roll in the bg is my new aesthetics

he's so good w kids, so sweet

"Team Kids in a Cage"

why's he keep messin w his no- ha

Korg loved it, noted

i thought you needed the necrosword to kill gods

omg Stormbreaker's jealous- THOR YOUR'RE BEIN DISLOYAL

i'm more invested in Thor x Stormbreaker then Thor x Jane

… he fed it beer… hE SCRATCHED THE UNDERCHIN WHAT

his lil thing when she turns around is the fattest mood i have ever witnessed

Korg music? pft omg that's cute

thanks Korg, you stripped her bare

yep, this is real, that fumbling lmao

oh the fear in her eyes

"bye"

he's good at comfortin, once he calms down a bit

Thor baby

oh no, the color, it's broken

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT LANDING HA

oh nu the bone cage is empty

their pinkies T-T

is myuh-myuh so broken it cannae summon the Bifrost?

oh bro she yeeted

Gorr, you're spoogie, i love it

yea idk if the dentist can help w that bud

ha he's a lil fanboy too, omg. his giggle was adorable

baby, she's crying

i find his face fascinatin

oop he's chokin em

his hand was on his shoulder, so faint

… tentacle porn is completely plausible and acceptable it's accepted i accept it

it's funny how he keeps sproutin from the shadows like a whack-a-mole

omg myuh-,yuh

oh no the boat!

bro i completely forgot abt Korg

HEY HE IMAPLED HER NO

oh nu he's got the key

oh bro she looks shit

a fridge without a door.

yea babe he goin w/o you

T-T bc he loves her, always

he still has Loki's hair twined into his own braids

damn she lost her whole kidney

yO head at 01:29:07 is movin

that was a celestial head that fell oh them

attackin children w shadow monsters? mateur Gorr

he's plannin on makin em whack the monsters w sticks?

Space Vikings, hooray

omg he's givin em power "for a limited time only"

HEY IT'S THAAT TREE OMGGG

GLOWY EYE CHILDREN I WANT THEM

GENERAL AXL

DO YOUR WOEST BABIES

OMGGGGG THE GINGER

MY HEARTRATE RN ASDFGHJKL

BEAT THEIR ASSES

DSKGJLKJDGLKSJGLKSJGKLSJGSGJSGKJLSGJ

YOU'RE DOIN SO GOOD BABIES, SO PROUD

OMGGGG AXL VAULTIN THRU THE AIR

lil baby girl fairy, you've my heart, you too floating girl w rabbit, i wish my Fluffy did that

way to be creepy Mjolnir

oh shit, he got decked

Jane Foster <3

go children, go!

let go of his friend, shadow tentacles !!!

her name is Mighty Thor, ass

Dr. Jane Foster is bomb

oh good lord, not that

I LOVE WATCHIN PPL CATCH THOSE THINGS AXL YOU DID SO GOOD

snap it in half, babes

couldn't it jus reform like myuh-myuh?

oh damn, she caught the bits

well this has a certain finality

oop she obliterated your sword pal

i imagine a lot of Aro's might be confused at this scene, but also not

did he not realize he could bring her back?

then use your wish to save Jane? as an apology?

ooooooooooh you're gon have your nemisis take care of your child, interestin

omg galaxy-reflection-girl, you're so pretty

Jane is a god.

see, she's gettin the gold dust fade, like od*n, that means she's a god. i take no criticism

she's cute

oh hi, Korg

ARE YOU SERIOUS

DWAYNE

this is so dumb i love it

omggg sad god to dad god

yes they'e pan flaps

what's that accent

HA

that's so accurate, w the shoes

omg myuh-myuh

Thor, referrin to myuh-myuh: where did you put HIM

the girl: eh, SHE looked boring before

Thor: eh, suppose IT did

d'aw her lil thumbs up in the mirror/head jig w helmet, so cute

HES SO SUPPORTIVE

she's wearin' Hulk's colors

??? why'd she get Stormbreaker? after all Thor's talk abt bein over his ex-weapon, smh

"The Space Viking and his girl, born from Eternity." i adore that line sm, wow

OMG IS HER NAME LOVE? HER NAME IS LOVE. THAT'S PERFECT

haha, Louis Despocito

Credits

ngl i expected the GotG to show up more for some reason

ugh not him. well, i was right. he's not dead

dude You Are a joke

Hercules??? well ig we know who our nxt villain will be, tho he seems a bit low lvl, so maybe he's a starter villian for Love

glow dust. it's Jodie Fonda ain't it. it is!

Heimdall!! HI BABE

she's in the land of the gods! knew it!

THOR WILL RETURN

Movie End

some thoughts are i like how it began w losin a daughter and ended w gainin one, it's sweet, poetic in a way ion understand ig

there was no Loki T-T i miss him, he would influence Love in the worst way possible and i want it

the beginning was kinda awkward but Thor was also especially awkward so it's fine, he was overcompensating, it's understandable

i can see ppl complainin abt how this movie serves "romantic love fixes all!" bc i legit jus saw s/o complainin abt it. and maybe it does? but so what. Thor's loves love and in the end, he ended up w a daughter

THE DAUGHTER. UGH. i love Love, she's great

SHE BETTER SHOW UP IN LATER MOVIES W LIKE TOM!PETER AND HARLEY AND CASSIE AND KAMALA OK? OK

THEYRE THE NXT GEN THEYRE THE NXT GEN THEYRE THE NXT GEN

i didn't like Jane in the first 2 movies- tbh i barely rmbr the first 2 movies -but i adore her now. i'm wonderin if the final scene was a hint at her comin back or Marvel jus tellin us where she ended up and that she is OK

Axl intrigued me. there was no mention of it, but i wonder if he's trans

first of all, the only experience i've had w the name Astrid is from HTTYD and searchin feminine names

secondly, when i changed my name, i also looked at bands lmfao

i really like how it was dealt w too, tho i wonder - if Axl is trans - if Thor knew of him prior. bc he didn't care when Valkyrie said he was Heimdall's son, only that Axl wanted to change his name

DARCY DIDNT SAY BYE TO JANE THATS SAD

all in all, i adore it and ion get why i saw so many bad reviews. there was personality in these movies, compared to the first 2 Thors

i hold it to equal height to Thor: Ragnarok and the only way it could've been better was if Loki was there- or Sylvi!

[xxgothchatonxx]

MID SEASON FINALE TIME! An hour late to my usual time. Let’s hope I make it. I’ll also try & your homework! (Also soooooo sorry for the like 5 super duper long messages I wrote in that Alana/Caro question!!)

Digestivo:

* OH WE JUST CUT STRAIGHT TO THE EP!

* Good GOD I get that’s that what happens in the novel but STILL UGHHHHH

* Annnnnnnd dirty cops part 2737639363

* NO NO NO NO NO NO DONT YOU DARE!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW IT DOESNT WORK BECAUSE DUH BUT STILL

* EVERYONE SAY “Thank you, Chiyoh!!!!”

* “Identically different.” Nods in twin.

* God, Chiyoh!❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

* DID SHE SEE HANNIBAL’S REFLECTION?

* NBC JOKER is. So. Dramatic.

* You’re GRINNING! NBC Joker is waiting for your disembowelment & You’re GRINNING!

* Alana isn’t buying this one bit. Oh nvm, Margot kept them up to date.

* Pause. Did the lighting director change or did Alana get a dye job?

* Are they dressing the up for their DEATH? You gotta look good, I guess.

* I love how relaxed Hannibal is. He’s along for the fun.

* “You’re going to eat him with my face?” Amazing. Stellar. Stupendous.

* “You could wreck some foster homes or torment some children.” Hannibal is here to have fun, Will is here to be funny. And I love that for both of them.

* Hannibal is having so much fun. Maybe it’ll inspire his next dish!😂

* This is when Will bites him! I’ve seen that gif everywhere, so I’m happy to take it in.☺️

* HANNIBAL IS SUCH A PROUD BOYFRIEND! AMAZING!!!!

* I don’t like these bubble noises.

* Can somebody please tell me where I know Cordell from? Because I know him from somewhere. Did he play a psychopath?

* OF COURSE HE’S BEEN BRANDED!

* This is when your grandmother made her entrance.

* No overcooked penises here!

* Who has her eggs?

* If his face wasn’t already so fucked, I’d cut it up even more.

* OH NO ALANA & WILL!!!!!!

* SELF PRESERVATION! Last time I heard that it was a conversation between the boyfriends.

* Hate hate HATE this score.

* Margot’s EYES! Ugh AMAZING!!!

* Yesssss, accomplice to murder time, babes!!!!

* & looks like Alana came to her senses I Guess?? Torture for a bit & then free him. No dead Hanni on my watch.

* Alana: Promise me you’ll save our boyfriend. Hannibal: Fucking FINALLY! All you had to do was ask!

* OHHHH OUCH! That fooley wasn’t too bad!!

* OH SHIT NOPE IT’S WHEN HE FREES HIMSELF! HE TOOK OFF THE COLLAR & WE SLOWLY ZOOM INTO HIM! That’s when your grandmother said her iconic line!!!

* FACE OFF TIME!!!

* Boyfriend to the rescue with his weapon of choice: BLOODY HAMMER!!!!!

* OH MY FUCKING GOD NBC JOKER YOU SICK FUCK!!!!!

* OH GOD SOMETHING CRASH PLEASE I BEG!!!

* LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU, HANNIBAL LECTER!!!!!!

* CHIYOH, MY BELOVED!

* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! I’ve never been so happy to see someone get deep throated by an eel.

* Give us a reunion! Let them speak!

* She’s his guardian Angel.

* MISCHA’S😭😭😭😭

* Don’t deny it this time! YES! THAT’S SOMETHING!

* He said something about the periodic table, so I didn’t listen to anything. I failed science so many times.

* TEACUP!!!!!! Our poor little one has shattered once again.

* Wait, where are all the dogs?? WHERE’S MY BOY, WINSTON???

* “I’ve discovered you there. Victorious.”😭

* I MISS YOUR DOGS TOO!

* He isn’t gonna miss him? You know what that is? GROWTH!!!!!

* Aweee, they’re breaking up.

* “You delight. I tolerate. I don’t have your Appetit. Goodbye, Hannibal.” GET. HIS. ASS. WILLIAM!!!!

* Rip to this insane Lithuanian bisexual cannibal. Hope he has a good time in prison in his sexy glass cell!!!!

* Everyone’s getting canes now.

* The look on Jack’s face. He’s not even that proud of it because he wasn’t caught. This was deliberate.

* Hannibal looking over at Will and saying, “where you can always find me,” like the absolute top he is.

* And this, ladies, gents, and non-binary friends, is we like to call the vindicated mid season!

Yes!! You guessed correctly!! :D

Ok so Cordell is played by Glenn Fleshler who has been in a shit-ton of things like Boardwalk Empire and True Detective BUT I know him as Randall from the movie Joker! You know the guy who got stabbed to death by scissors?

Margot's revenge is one of the best "THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING THIS FROM THE BOOK" moments because she is not even mentioned in the 2001 film! In the film, Mason gets eaten by the boars he was going to feed Hannibal to but, yeah, Margot and Alana killing this prick via eel-deep-throating was just *chef's kiss* and yeah, that thing with the pig... I got a text from Mum when she first saw this episode going "OF COURSE HE PUT IT IN THE FUCKING PIG!" which is really damn weird out of context 😂

But yeah, give it up for NBC Joker! Congrats on being the best consistently-written-well Joker than anything WB has spewed out since- I'm going to stop riiiiight there because i have an unpopular opinion about Mr J.

So, yep that's the end of the 'Hannibal' (book sans Clarice- FUCK YOU MGM!) arc. Now onto the Red Dragon arc, which this entire show was prequel-AU-fanfic-based off :D

[nightshade-minho]

Nightmare (2)

Warnings: male masturbation, mentions of smut etc.

Note: Nvm what I said before, this is definitely gonna have more than 3 parts lmao.

Part 1 | Part 3

When you woke up, you felt yourself wrapped in a warm embrace. Confused, you turned slightly to see Minho’s sleeping visage. You almost squealed before shutting yourself up with one hand, as Minho’s entire body was pressed up against yours...and that meant you could feel something hard poke against your ass. You tried to move, but Minho’s hands were firmly wrapped around your waist in a death grip. Your shifting only made him pull you closer in his sleep, his morning wood poking deeper into your panties.

“M-Minho...? It’s time to wake up now.” You said, as you used your free hand to poke him. You were answered with a grumpy, half-asleep mumble, and then suddenly you were turned around, your face pressed into his bare chest. A blush spread across your cheeks- his skin was soft and you could smell his signature scent.

“Minhoooo.” You whined, trying to wriggle out of his grip, but the man was way stronger than you, and kept you in place. You sighed, giving up and resting your head against him.

You couldn’t deny how secure and comfortable you felt, lying in his arms like this. However the bittersweet knowledge that once he woke up, he’d probably shoot away from you filled your mind, which was a sobering thought.

So he did come back last night after all. Was it after they had sex or did he not have sex at all? You expelled the thoughts, choosing to close your eyes again, cherishing the moment. You felt so safe and warm.

There was probably an alternate universe in which you would wake you Minho up with a kiss...a world in which you were together. However in this reality, Minho was an asshole with priorities that mattered over you. The anger from yesterday night seeped back into you.

So you summoned all your strength to pry his hands away, prompting a whine from him. You slid off the bed before he could pull you back into his arms. You sat on the floor for a while, before slowly getting to your knees and peering over the bed. Minho had turned around, his back now facing you and his snores louder than ever. You let out a phew, and made your way to the kitchen to make breakfast.

•••

Meanwhile, Minho’s eyes shot open just as he heard you close the door behind you. He sighed and sat up on the bed. He hadn’t wanted you to know he was awake, and was consciously holding you close to him. He scrunched his eyes shut as he turned to the side and pressed his face to the pillow, groaning. What was he doing?

He sat up and pushed the sheets off of him, sighing when he noticed his morning wood. He could also smell the scent of your body wash lingering- the smell of clean lemon flowers permeating the air.

Getting up, he headed for the shower so he could clean up and take care of his pesky little situation.

Naked, he leaned against the shower wall, taking his cock in his hand and stroking it slowly. He sifted through his mental library for something worth jerking off to.

The blonde he met at the laundromat last Sunday? Nah. He recalled how annoying her voice was when he had asked her for her number. Perhaps the brunette in his psych class? Ugh, no. Maybe he should think of some porn scene that had turned him on...? No luck.

Minho’s mind automatically drifted to last night, when he saw you spread out like that on his bed, wearing his shirt and with your ass on full display.

No. He slapped himself with his free hand. There was no way he was gonna get off to the thought of you. It was bad enough that he’d had some mature thoughts about you the night before...masturbating to you would have devastating consequences for his conscience.

But he couldn’t help it. As much as he tried to conjure some other sexy image, you stayed stubbornly.

Minho almost screamed with how much his cock was begging him to give up already. Finally he gave in, his head slamming against the shower wall as he pumped his dick hard, imagining up a situation where you woke up as he was pressed against you...letting him slide your panties to the side and slip his cock in to your tight, wet heat.

When he finally came, harder than he’d ever cum before...he thought about what he had just done. He felt filthy. What would you think of him, if you knew? He was too embarrassed to even think of looking at your face now. He uncomfortably recalled how he’d referred to you as his little sister during middle school. That phase was over, but it still disturbed him to think about how he’d just gotten off to someone who he cared about that much.

Minho stepped out of the shower. He dried himself off, found some clothes and his bag, and made his way to the living room. You were standing in the open kitchen, stirring something in a pan. He noticed how you’d pulled on some shorts, but was still wearing his shirt.

You heard his footsteps and whipped around. He made brief eye contact before quickly walking to the door.

“Wait, Minho...don’t you want some breakfast?”

He rolled his eyes, and didn’t reply.

With that, he slammed the door behind him, leaving you confused and hurt.

You felt tears prickling the corners of your eyes. Was he mad at you because you slept in his bed yesterday?

You didn’t know. All you knew was that you were too exhausted for this. You had classes to attend, too. So you turned your attention back to the stove, driving Minho away from your mind and giving him a backseat in your brain.

•••

As Minho made his way through campus that evening to get back home, his mind was filled about how he shouldn’t have acted that way in the morning. It wasn’t your fault that he’d been such a pervert, after all. He practiced his apology as he walked...but then he caught a flash of red hair in the distance.

Fuck. It was the redhead from yesterday.

She stopped in front of him, crossing her arms.

“What the fuck was that all about, Minho? You were the one who came onto me, and then you ditch at the last second? It was so fucking humiliating. People saw you rushing to leave the party right after you entered the room with me.”

She looked really angry. Minho wasn’t used to the girls he screwed over being this mad; most of them were already well aware of his reputation.

“Look, Rita, I’m sorry okay? Something came up. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You asshole, it’s Rina. And don’t think I’ll let this by so easily.” She smirked, and Minho raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, just that my father is the Chief of Police. And if I were to tell him that you were running around molesting girls...I’m pretty sure he’d believe me. Especially because there are tons of girls you’ve wronged that would love to back me up.”

Minho’s mind was swimming. This couldn’t be happening, not today. He couldn’t think of anything to say, his breath catching in his throat. Rina’s smirk grew wider, watching as he started sweating.

Then, an idea popped into his head.

“I’m dating someone!” He blurted.

Rina’s smirk dropped off her face. “W-What?”

“I mean...we got together recently, though I’ve been crushing on her for a while. And...since I’m such a playboy, I kinda forgot I’m supposed to not fuck other girls anymore, haha...I’m really really sorry.”

Rina faltered. “I...you have a girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“You, the Lee Minho...has a girlfriend.”

He nodded tightly. “I’m sorry for all the inconvenience I caused, but I couldn’t cheat on her...I hope you understand.”

Rina looked skeptical. “Fine. Hey, I’m throwing a party next Saturday. How about you come with your ‘girlfriend’, hmm? I’d love to meet her.”

Minho wiped away some sweat as he nodded. “Yeah, totally...she’d love to come.”

Rina smiled. “Great!”

•••

When you heard the door open, you made it a point to avoid looking at him, your eyes trained on the TV.

“Hey.”

You heard the whisper behind you, but elected to ignore it.

Minho plopped down next to you, holding out a paper bag. “I got you macarons.”

You whipped your head around at that, your eyes lighting up. He put the bag in your hand, watching as you opened it excitedly, taking a bite out of one macaron. Your face contorted with ecstasy as you moaned. Minho chuckled.

“I don’t think I wanna witness you having sex with a macaron, so I’m gonna ask you now...am I forgiven?”

“For what?”

“For being late to our Movie Night yesterday...and also my rude behavior in the morning.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I forgive you. But only because of these.” You pointed to the bag and he laughed, then remembered why he went to the store to get you the sweets in the first place.

“Um...there’s a favour I’d like to ask of you...”

You turned around to face him, cheeks stuffed with the dessert. He held in his laughter- you looked like a chipmunk.

“Ugh, this is serious, okay? Stop being so goofy, you doofus.”

You swallowed what was in your mouth. “Sorry. Continue?”

He inhaled deeply. “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for a week.”

You sat there, stunned.

“W...what? Why?”

“Well...there’s this girl I didn’t fuck last night. And...she’s pretty pissed at me. So I may or may not have told her that I have a girlfriend...”

You shook your head. “And you’re asking me to do this because...?”

“Because you’re my only female friend?”

You let out a huge sigh, setting the bag on the table. “So these weren’t just an apology, they’re a bribe?”

“No! it’s just something I bought to convince you into doing what I wanted, since I knew you would say no immediately...oh wait, I guess it was a bribe after all.”

“Minho...I have a life, you know? And I’ve got better things to do than pretend to date you.” Although you couldn’t imagine what would be better than an excuse to hold Minho’s hands, even briefly...you drifted off, imagining Minho being your boyfriend, a giddy smile appearing on your face.

“Y/n?”

You snapped out of it, eyes shooting open. “Wha...?”

Then again, this was a bad idea. Having to pretend to be in love with Minho when you actually were wouldn’t end well, and you told yourself that mentally.

“Absolutely not. I’m not gonna set aside my commitments to prance around as your girlfriend just because you made a mistake, and didn’t fuck one girl.”

Minho exhaled.

“Y/n...the girl’s father is the Chief of Police. She told me she’d report me to him as a sexual offender. And even if I somehow convince her not to do that, there are a thousand other girls who would want to do stuff like that as well, girl who would kill to get some revenge on me. I...need to clear my reputation. Scrub the slate blank. Please help me.”

Your eyes wide, you digested this information. Fuck, you really had no choice.

“I...”

He looked away. “It’s fine, y/n, you don’t have to agree. You’re right. I got myself into this mess...I kinda deserve it.”

He got up to leave, but your arm shot up to hold him in place. “Wait!”

Your eyes took in his hopeful face and you melted. Ugh. You hated the effect he had on you.

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

A wide grin spread across his face as he surged forward, wrapping you in a tight hug. He pressed his nose into your neck and you almost sighed. Was this a bad idea? Would you regret it?

As Minho pulled away, his wide smile still present on his face, your heart softened.

Nah. This was the right thing to do. After all, what good is a best friend if he’s in jail?

[skullsnsunbeams]

Please enjoy part 2 my commentary of Outer Banks (you can find part 1 here)! Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO.

Ep. 6

• I don't trust Ward, jot that down

• John B is gonna be blinded

• FUCK OFF WARD YOU'RE NOT SLICK

• I WANNA GO AAAAWWWWF

• But now John B is actually on the property so that might be beneficial?

• Lana said fuck the feds and I did too

• BARRY BETTER BEAT RAFE'S ASS

• It's what he deserves :)

• THE CURTAIN JUST MOVED AND KIE SAW IT

• FUCK YEAH KIE SLAP HIS ASS

• Did he just

• He just slapped her back

• MOSQUITOS MEAN WATER

• YUPPPP THERE WE GO POPE KNOWS

• This is deadass the goonies

• "You love the idea of me" YESSSSS SARAH

• YES WARD CHOKE HIS BITCHASS OUT

• "WHERE'S THE BEACH!?"

• It's actually not okay but okay

• Yes he DID say that

• Desgusten

• RAFE IS GONNA STEAL MONEY FROM HIS DAD AND JOHN B IS GONNA BE BLAMED

• AHAHAHAHAH CAUGHT EM

• I love Pope sm

• Adina is that bitch, man

• Barry's gonna get his ass beat by Ward

• I knew it

• THERE'S WARD'S SHORT FUSE

• RAFE YOUR DADDY IS A PSYCHO

• KARMA, BABY, KARMA

• They're gonna trap Sarah and Kie on the boat?

• That's a got damn STING

• Why are they holding the blunt like a cigarette?

• What a shitty fucking person you are, Sarah. That's fucked up.

• SHE CALLED THE COPS I'M CACKLING

• They're gonna get caught by the scary lady

• "Weed? I could go for some weed" same, JJ

• JJ and Pope being assholes about John B and Sarah is my aesthetic

• NO NO NO WHY HER EYES LOOK LIKE THAT

• She's blind, duh

• Gross gross gross

• He's gonna catch something

• Wait does Corona virus exist in the OBX universe?

• "Any dead bodies?" Does the jaw bone he found count?

• That's shit he's covered in shit THAT'S GOLD THAT'S FUCKING GOLD

• JANIE'S GOT A GUN

• This is so cute but I know it's gonna blow up in their faces

Ep. 7

• I hate Ward he's such a sneaky bastard

• He's gonna take him out to sea and MURDER HIM

• or at least, like, warn him

• HE'S SUCH A GOOD LIAR

• Our boy Barry, he's gonna stir some shit up

• I knew it, pretending to be a cop tho?

• John B is B'ing dumb again

• Maybe not

• JJ NOOO

• CRAIN ESTATE IS FOR SALE

• AND WARD IS GONNA BUY IT

• JJ just wants his dad's approval

• THAT'S FOR HIS RESTITUTION

• How did ik this was gonna happen

• I hate his dad

• ahhhhh I WANNA HUG HIIIIIM

• Sarah do be bailin

• She said FUCK VULNERABILITY and to that I say SAME

• Those candles are gonna cause a fire. Old church? The Outsiders vibes

• Did they not just say they were gonna wait? And then immediately fuck? Okay.

• He spent his restitution money. He did exactly what he fought his dad about.

• He needs a hug so bad

• Thank you for hugging him Kie

• GUESS WHO'S CRYING

• ME IT'S ME

• Mr. Cameron, sir, you are operating a motor vehicle whilst drinking. You're providing a minor with alcohol. You should not be the Grand Knight of Rhododendron!!!

• Ward is an eavesdropping little shitfuck

• Blah blah blah all I'm hearing is a rich man trying to get the gold

• "Equitable split" sir you Didn't Find The Gold therefore You Do Not Get A Cut

• FINALLY JOHN B IS BEING SMART

• WARD JUST SNITCHED ON HIMSELF

• WARD KNOWS ABOUT THE DISAPPEARANCE

• Well, son, the sheriff already kinda knows

• What's he gonna do

• THE GAFFING HOOK

Ep. 8

• Ward is literally psycho so that's fun

• WHAT IS THIS SHOW

• HE STOPPED THE HOOK WITH HIS CAST I'M DEEEAAAD

• This turned into Parasite all of a sudden

• And this right here, folks, is called anxiety

• I love GTA

• Ward is actually psychotic

• "Ward you just got involved" just like his daughter did

• Fuck HE KILLED HIM FUCK YOU WARD

• AND HE DIDN'T CALL ANYONE WHAT A CUUUUNT I'M SO MAD

• BIG JOHN IS A LEGEND

• Ow my heart 🥺

• Ward is a big fat liar!!!!!!

• Oh my god JOHN B GONE CRAZY

• Sarah really switched up like that, huh? Shady bitch

• Where's DCS throughout all of this?

• He's doin a lil memorial I'M SAAAAD

• Pope deserves better!!!

• The gold is gone, just watch

• YUP I KNEW IT

• FUCK YOU WARD

• I feel so bad for Pope's dad bc he's had to work hard too, man

• Going to the Bahamas?????????

• Fuck Rafe

• BLAH BLAH BLAH NO ONE LIKES YOUUUU

• Pope whhhyyyy are you telling these PEOPLE ABOUT THE GOLD

• Oh shiiiit Susan knows about OTHER dirty cops

• I hope the plane crashes :)

• WARD IS A PIECE OF SHIIIIIIT

• SUE YEEEES

• John B's nod should not have been sexy

• RAFE YOU SONOFABITCH

• LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!!!!!!!

Ep. 9

• WARD. IS. A. PSYCHO.

• HOW IRONIC THAT RAFE'S TRUCK HAS A BLUE LIVES MATTER FLAG ON THE BACK WINDOW RHSJDJDBDNDH

• Pope is finally letting it out and I'M SO GLAD FOR HIM

• I shouldn't be laughing about Shoupe complaining about the regulator

• Ward really is a psycho

• FUCK THE POLICE

• All teenagers want is their parents' approval and that makes me saaaaaad

• Why do I wanna hug Rafe rn

• HE'S LIKE, NEVER GOTTEN A HUG IN HIS LIFE BEFORE???????

• OW MY HEART

• When the main character becomes a fugitive with a bounty 🥰

• Sarah isn't gonna do shiiiiit

• "What's gonna happen to Rafe?" Nothing. Because he's a rich white boy who can get away with anything bc of his daddy's money and power.

• They better not do a cliff hanger and make us wait til next season

• Rafe is delusional

• "He's a maniac" Pot, meet kettle

• Whose house is this?

• How are you gonna tell him to get out of your house and then chase him when he's trying to leave

• Pope high is amazing

• AW MY BABY

• He deserves the world and more

• NO PLEASE DON'T CRRRRYYYYY

• Topper is gonna let John B go, isn't he?

• He really locked his daughter in her room like Rapunzel

• "Hey Top, hey man, it's John B, hey" HE'S SUCH A LOSER LMAOOOO

• "My bad" My bad!?!??

• They're arguing over what word to use

• This is kinda gay ngl

• THIS FAKE CRYING EJDBEUSHEH SARAH

• Wheezie better not fuck this up bro or I s2g

• TOPPER DEF LET JOHN B OUT I WILL HOLLER

• I think Rafe is gonna get shot

• I hate this

• THE VEEEEENT

• I love rooting for a criminal

• SNITCHES GETS STITCHES, BITCHES

• Topper is gonna switch up on the Kooks and actually help out I bet

• RAFE NEEDS TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

• TOPPER IS WEARING THE HOODIE

• THAT'S HOW HE PROVED HIS LOVE FOR HERRR

Ep. 10

• Aw John B

• Pope said FUCK FEELINGS

• Tf is SBI

• State bureau of investigation, got it

• NO, WARD NEEDS TO BEAR RESPONSIBILITY BC IT IS. HIS. FAULT.

• "Idk how to fix it" kill yourself, easy

• Sell? You mean lie. Rich people logic amirite??

• RAFE HAS VOICES IN HIS HEAD HE'S GONE OFF THE DEEP END

• The officer better know the truth

• WARD IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR

• The SBI agent sees right through Ward

• I hate this bastard

• FUCK YEAH

• Rafe is TWEAKIN

• Barry to the rescue?

• "I done worse, I was in the army" LMAOOOO

• Nvm Barry is still trash

• TRASH STICKS WITH TRASH

• They're GONE occifer

• AND THE THUNDER ROOLLLLS

• My heart is hurting so bad rn

• Is he gonna give himself up rn?

• I hate when JJ cries

• AHHHHHHHH HIS EYES OPENED AND I GOT SCARED

• OW MY FUCKIN HEART

• Shoupe is a pussy ass bitch too

• Pause, smoke break

• Lessgo

• He's gonna wait for the keys to be close to the car

• CALLED IT

• That was *chef's kiss*

• This is not good

• YEEEEES POPE

• NOOOOOO POPE

• VENGEANCE

• Holy shit

• Okay I'm gonna say it

• This GOT GOOD

• NO MORE CLICHES

• Holy fuuuuck

• If we get a second season, I wanna see Rafe destroyed

• Woah okay

• JJ is third wheel

• This is crazy

• STOP WASTING TIME

• This is all funny bc these kids are 16 and they think they're in love

• I GASPED OMG

• What did this turn into

• There's a cliche!!!

• Holy fuckitnenehehe

• Fuck you Ward

• He's gonna do it

• Ewwww "I'd rather die than be without you"

• What in the ever living hell

• Fuck fuck fuck

• And JJ is left alone

• OH MY GOD IM CRYING

• Holy. Fucking. Shit.

[iximaz]

Running thoughts on The Mandalorian Episode 8

This episode summed up in one word: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA???!!!

I’m only gonna say it once: MASSIVE spoilers beyond the break!

THEY PUT BABY YODA IN THE BAG ASDFGHJKL; YOU MONSTERS aw cute point of view shot from inside the bag but also HOW DARE YOU

DID YOU JUST SERIOUSLY HIT MY BABY 

did you seriously do it TWICE

Okay these two troopers have big Taika energy and as much as I already hate them I’m laughing my ass off

These two trying some target practice to pass the time can’t shoot for shit and I’m living for it

That other trooper be like

Okay it’s not just me who heard that trooper say “Oh my god”, right??

You go Baby Yoda, you bite that mean trooper WHO JUST FUCKING PUNCHED YOU WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM I HOPE THEY DIE

oh my god IG you better show them what’s what

Breaking that fucker’s arm after he hit Baby Yoda yesssssss

IG is an icon and i love him

“The Mandalorians have a covert down in the sewers” oh that’s neat so that’s where it was

“If we can get down there, they can help us escape” uhhh Dyn how long has it been since they said they’d have to relocate buddy

Oh the troopers are getting out a big gun thing this is fine they’ll just miss with it anyway

...What the hell kind of sewer has access inside a bar lounge?

can we just get more footage of cara with her big gun being sexy and stuff please

SHE’S FROM ALDERAAN HOLY SHIT WHAT

HE KNOWS THEIR NAMES OH SHIT

!!!!! SPELLING CONFIRMED IT’S DIN DJARIN MY MAN I NEED TO GO EDIT MY FANFIC NOW BUT AAAAAAAA

“Night of a Thousand Tears” is this just me or does this just sorta feel like Kristallnacht like seriously yikes and also oof

Ughhhhh I hate Moff Gideon so good job writers on that I absolutely loathe your villain well done

“Mandalorian isn’t a race.” “It’s a Creed.” FUCKIN YES THANK YOU THIS IS SOMETHING FANS WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT

baby din is so precious and i wanna feed him cookies and tell him it’s gonna be okay send help please

ARE THOSE DEATH WATCH MANDOS OH MY GODDDDDDD

Baby Din being carried away via jetpack my heart

Oh man so the Purge would have happened semi-recently which means Din’s clan are a more orthodox version of the Way that’s neat aw shit Imma have to tweak my fic again aren’t I

Baby Yoda and IG-11 on the bike together are just stunning

“I am fulfilling my base function. ... To nurse and protect.” YOU GO NURSE DROID IG

Greef downing shots thinking he’s gonna die is honestly such a mood

hnggg yess more of Cara being sexy AF

MOFF JUST BLEW UP MY HUSBAND HOW DARE YOU

Cara yes RESCUE HIM PLEASE

“If you go near this child, I will have no choice but to kill you.” ME TOO

Oh shit oh shit that’s chunky blood

Not good not good not good

Din baby please you can’t die this is your show

oh god is he gonna need to take the helmet off

oh no he’d rather die than take it off

he wants cara to protect his baby send help

“the foundling” BABY YODA IS CONFIRMED HIS SON NOW AAA

BABY YODA REDIRECTING THE FIREBALL YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

Din asking IG to kill him nooo ;-;

The episode’s only half over and I still haven’t seen some of the trailer shots how’re they getting out of this

oh

oh m

my god

“No living thing has s-seen me without m-my helmet since I s-swore the C-Creed—” Din stoppit stop stuttering and dying you’re breaking my heart

Oh no is this gonna make him stop hating droids so much is this a loophole is this not can he not be Mandalorian is he g

oh my g

Din baby look at what they’ve done to you

(internally: oh my god he’s hot this is not fair imma die send help my ovaries am become explode)

HE’S SO EXPRESSIVE WITHOUT THE HELMET

his reaction to IG’s attempt to make a joke like my god aaaaaaa

I’m just gonna go cry seeing all the helmets and armor piled up here if we’re gonna continue the Jews parallel this is like all the shoes you see at Holocaust museums and I bet this was 100% intentional

Din just slowly falling to his knees seeing it :(

Oh thank fuck the Armorer is actually alive and the preview scene wasn’t from a flashback!

She knows about the Jedi~~~

Din: “So you mean this thing is my baby now?” Armorer: “Bitch haven’t you been watching the entire show”

For real this brings my heart so much fucking joy I can’t even

“You are a clan of two.” ASDFGHJKL; AAAA

HE GOT THE MUDHORN AS HIS SIGNET AFTER ALL

“Have you trained in the Rising Phoenix?” JETPACK?

“When I was a boy, yes.”

JETPACK!!!!!!

BABY DIN LEARNING HOW TO USE A JETPACK ART NOW PLEASE AAA

Also okay so like he says nobody’s said his name since he was a kid but apparently the entire clan knows it? What? Did I miss something? Guys?

Maybe he’s never heard the name from people outside the clan? Fuck it, that’s what Imma go with

Oh my god the Armorer beating the absolute hell out of those Stormtroopers I am so gay for her right now aaaaa

Cara watching Greef and Din trying to move the boat and then she just shoots the dock it’s on XD

aww the little R2 unit’s got little arms WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING IT’S GOT LEGS TOO??

Din: “I don’t suppose anybody here speaks droid?” IG-11: “bish u wot m8″

God the convection from this lava river’s gotta be brutal

omg fire ferrets good bois good bbs

...Literally everything about IG’s death and Din starting to overcome his hatred of droids just in time to watch his savior self-destruct to save them all hurts so hard, jesus christ

oh shit it’s the Moff in a TIE

“Come on, baby! Do the magic hand thing!” Greef you absolute icon i love u

Baby Yoda just fuckin waving back at him and cooing im ded

oh shit it’s motherfuckin JETPACK TIME

wait how’s he wearing it over the cape won’t the cape burn up

Nvm he’s got the cape slung over one shoulder now

HE FLYIN HE FLYIN HE FLYIN

aAaAaAaAaAaAaA THAT CAN’T BE GOOD FOR HIS ARMS

hahaha Moff get fuckin REKT (no way he’s dead though people climb out of worse crashes than that all the time)

Okay Din using the jetpack is way sexier than it should be can he just take me now please i thirst

Cara becoming Greef’s enforcer is just perfect and I hope we see more of these two in the next season also sweet Din is gonna find his life a lot easier now that he’s not running from the Guild

BABY YODA WANTS TO BE PICKED UP BY HIS DADDY MY HEART AAAA IT’S JUST LIKE WHEN DIN WAS SAVED AS A KID

He made Kuiil a grave im not crying ur crying

is he gonna name the baby Kuill

Baby Yoda has the pendant he gave Cara!!

HE GETS TO KEEP THE PENDANT DIN HAS ACCEPTED HE’S GOT A SON AAA

And now we pan back to the wreck where Moff is climbing out of it

or not

fuckin Jawas, man

Now Moff?

wait

oh

my

g

w

o

OH

MY GOD

IT’S

IT’S THE DARKSABER!!!!!!!!

[craving-horans-hug]

Ben Hardy imagine - Fantasy

Request: The one idea was that Ben and the reader had been dating for a while and he asks her if she had like any fantasies (like ya know) and when she thought about it she got really embarrassed and was like no nvm (because she had been fantasising about making out with him in the Roger Taylor costume or in the Rogerina costume and thought he would think it’s weird af) and one day she was talking to her friend on the phone about it and didn’t know ben was home and he heard and surprised her.

Requests are open!! Ask away!

          You were currently sitting on your bed watching “Friends” on Netflix waiting for your boyfriend Ben to come home after a long day of shooting his new movie “Bohemian Rhapsody”. This is usually what you did when Ben was gone during the days, when you don’t have work, or homework from uni you were always watching “Friends”, Ben always made fun of you for it as he couldn’t understand how you could still laugh at the show when you know exactly what each character would say. But in your defence its one of the most iconic shows ever and it never failed to make you smile, which Ben liked.

You can hear keys jiggle at the front door and then hear it open and someone walk in, you get up from the comfort of your bed and walk towards the living room. The smell of pizza fills your nose and you quicken your pace, as you turn the corner you see your handsome boyfriend of 1 and a half years walk into the kitchen and set down a box of pizza on the table.

You walk up behind Ben and wrap your arms around his torso, you feel him relax at your touch and puts his hands over yours, “Hello beautiful,” Ben says smiling, he turns around still remaining in your grip. He brings his hands to cup your cheeks and gives you a chaste kiss on your lips, he lingers his lips on yours for a second looking into your eyes before giving you another quick kiss.

“Hello handsome,” you say smiling up at him, “how was your day?” you ask as you hug him tightly.

“Better now that I’m home with you.” he mumbles in your neck, he pulls away and reaches behind to grab the pizza box that was sitting on the counter. “I got your favourite, thought we could have a night in.” he says pulling you into his side leading you to the bedroom.

“Honestly that sounds amazing, I just started to rewatch ‘Fr-”

“Friends?” he asks with a chuckle before you can finish, he knows you too well.

“Of course, what else.” you say jokingly, you get into bed opening the pizza box as Ben sheds his clothes from the day. You can’t help but watch his toned body change into more comfortable clothes.

“Wow, you brought home a meal and a snack.” you say trying not to laugh at your lame pick up line.

Ben stops mid-way putting on his shirt, “did you really just call me a snack?” he says smirking at you.

“Maybe.” you say laughing while eating you pizza, he just shakes his head and continues to put on his shirt. He climbs into bed sitting next to you and grabs a slice of pizza while putting his arm around your shoulders, you hit ‘play’ and continue watching your show cuddled up in Ben’s side.

About 2 episodes into the show you’re both cuddling, Ben has you in front of him between his legs while his arms are wrapped around you from behind. It’s the episode where Ross and Rachel are in bed talking about their fantasies and this got Ben thinking.

“Love?” Ben asks quietly in your ear, you hum in response, your focus never leaving the screen, “do you happen to have any fantasies?” he asks curiously. This caused you to pause the tv and turn to look at him, you had never discussed anything like this with Ben before. Yeah you guys had sex (quite a lot) but you had never talked about your secret kinks and other things like that, of course you had fantasies but you always thought Ben would judge you for them.

“No not really,” you lie, “do you?” you ask looking up at him. 

He smirks and squeezes you a little tighter, “I’ve had a few” he says kissing just under your ear. “You’ve really never had any?” he asks rubbing your arm with his thumb. You begin to panic now, you don’t want to tell Ben about your countless thoughts of him dressed in his Roger Taylor costume banging you into next week. 

So you simply shrug and just answer, “Nope.” emphasizing the ‘P’ as you press ‘play’ and nervously bite your nails. Ben knows you all to well and knows that when you bite your nails you’re either nervous or hiding something. He doesn’t want to push you so he mutters a quiet ‘okay’ and kisses the side of your head continuing to watch the show, but the conversation never leaving his mind.

The next day you were doing laundry while Ben was on set, he had another long day ahead of him so you decided to keep yourself busy. You had already been to the grocery store, taken Frankie for a walk, and even had lunch with your mother, doing laundry was the final thing on your list.

As you take the clothes out of the dryer you hear your phone ring from your bedroom, dropping the clothes in the bathroom you jog to your room so see who was calling. Y/F/N’s picture pops up and you hit ‘accept’.

“Hey Y/F/N” you say into the phone sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Y/N you’re gonna die, I just got off the phone with Lydia and she fucking trashed Ryan’s car!” Y/F/N says laughing into the phone, obviously excited to tell you about new gossip.

“No fucking way,” you say moving more onto the bed so you’re laying on your stomach, you put your phone on speaker as you scroll through Lydia’s Instagram to see that she deleted all photos of her and Ryan from her feed. The conversation goes on for about an hour, you’ve switched topics about 10 times because conversations with Y/F/N are never short. You didn’t even realize that Ben had walked in the front door, he wasn’t supposed to be home until later tonight but the director let everyone go home early. He called out your name but you didn’t hear him, as you were still talking on the phone. Ben jogs up the stairs and before he can reach for the door knob he hears you talking and he stops himself at the mention of his name.

“Hey I wanted to talk to you about something that happened last night with Ben,” you say nervously into the phone, biting your nails.

“Oh my god what happened? Did you guys break up?!” Y/F/N says frantically.

“No! We didn’t don’t worry,” you say reassuringly, “it’s just, we were watching ‘Friends’ an-” 

“Not surprised.” she says sarcastically.

“ANYWAYS,” you say rolling your eyes, ”he asked me if I had any fantasies about, you know....us in the bedroom.” 

“Ooooo I like where this is going, what did you tell him.” she sings excitedly.

“I said no because its way too embarrassing to talk about with him.” you say as you continue to bite your nails.

“So you do have fantasies then.” she said smugly.

“Well yeah, I’m sure everyone does.” you say matter-o-factly.

“I knew it!” Ben whispers to himself outside of the door.

“Well what is it? It can’t be that bad.” Y/F/N says, assuring you that its nothing to be embarrassed about.

“Well,” you pause, debating if you should even say it out loud. She’s your best friend, she wouldn’t judge you. Right? “He just looked so hot when I saw him on set last week dressed as Roger Taylor, like seeing him in that white leather vest and long blonde hair DID something to me Y/F/N.” you say seriously, thinking back to how incredibly sexy he looked that day.

Ben’s eyes widen as he hears what you just admitted, he never knew that - that costume had such an effect on you, he thinks back to that day on set and you were all over him, especially when you got home nearly breaking the bed that night.

“Wooooo! Y/N you little fox!” Y/F/N yells into the phone clapping her hands, obviously excited as she's never heard you express anything like that before.

“Stoooop!” you laugh into the phone burying your head into a pillow.

Ben smiles to himself and quietly walks down the stairs, grabs his keys and back out the front door without you noticing. Boy were you in for a treat tonight.

A few more hours goes by and you finished folding the laundry that you had left, you and Y/F/N got off the phone about an hour ago as she had to go to work for the night. You look at the time and begin to wonder where Ben was, he should’ve been home by now at least and you began to worry but then again he probably got stuck on set for reshoots and forgot to text you. You manage to get all the laundry done and as your putting new pillow cases on your pillows you hear the front door open and close. 

“Hey babe! I’m in the bedroom!” you yell as you continue with the pillows, a few seconds later you hear the bedroom door creek open, your back facing it and you hear Ben say, “perfect.” quietly. 

“What?” you say confused as you finish with the pillows, you turn around and freeze in place once you see Ben. He standing in the doorway with his arm above his head leaning against the doorframe, his other hand is resting on his hip and he is wearing his Roger Taylor costume. He’s wearing the white vest with the tassels on the sides, tight black leather pants, and wearing his long blonde wig. Your breath hitches and you don’t know what to do, or say.

“Uhhh” is all you managed to say while you looked at him shocked, your eyes scanning his toned body, bare biceps flexed, his abs peeking out from the vest.

“You like what you see there love?” he asks while smirking, taking his raised arm off the doorframe and begins to make his way towards you. 

Speechless, you are speechless. All you can do is nod your head slowly, eyes never leaving his frame.

“I thought I’d surprise you, maybe show you what its like to be a groupie for the night.” he says face right in front of yours, noses almost touching as he plays with a strand of your hair. His eyes scanning your face hoping that this is exactly what you had fantasized about.

“What do you say beautiful?” he whispers, lips almost touching yours.

“o-okay” you say stuttering, you are in such a state of shock you can’t even speak properly. Obviously either Y/F/N told him what you said today or he somehow came home and heard you, but you don't even care at this point.

“Good.” Ben (or Roger ;) ) says, he closes the gap between you two and kisses you, he cradles your head between his hands slipping his tongue in your mouth instantly, you grab onto the sides of his vest and pull him closer into you. You feel his hands leave your face and they land on the back of your thighs as he picks you up and carries you to your bed, lips never leaving yours. He lays you onto the bed, hovering above you between your legs.

“So you’re in a band huh?” you say jokingly as he kisses down your neck. 

Tonight you two were definitely going to break the bed.

I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!!!! @barbarairene-k

[lodestarslagoon]

American Horror Story Apocalypse Live Blogging 8x02

Here we go!

Oh thank god X-men Apocalypse is over

Omg I just got the movie title thats funny they put it right before.

My god Sophie Turner’s hair is so ugly. Why can’t they add extensions for more volume? Game of Thrones Sansa too...

I NEED MADISON!!!

#TeamMadison

#TeamCoco

Oh shit the lights went out on Jail Girl! Is rubberman here?

I didn’t watch Murder House, so I hope Rubberman is just creepy and not murdery.

OH A SNAKE! GET THE EVE!

I hope her and UCLA are like Adam and Eve basically.

OMG YES EAT THE SNAKE!

Kathy Bates eat the snake YASSS!

THE STEW IS SNAKE!

OMG MALLORY MY ONE TRUE LOVE NEXT TO COCO! Madison is me, so I can’t love myself. That’s egotistical.

Lol 18 months later Andre is still bitter about the stew is stu.

I still say Jail Girl is wearing white.

OMG ANOTHER SNAKE! YASSS PLEASE JUST BE COVEN SYMBOLISM! LIKE THE PROMO POSTERS WERE!

Ew was that sex during Leslie Grossman’s name in the credits.

Commercials ugh.... Where is Madison.

Omg my dad’s phone just made an App noise and I jumped so high!

Omg yes, Vitam Vitalus snake please or Resurgence.

Kathy Bates needs to axe Jail Girl. UCLA too.

MICHAEL!!!!

Oh Look a male gray across the door from Mallory isn’t bad looking.

I wonder why all the grays are white....

Is Michael trying to makeout with Venable?

Oh she moved, what big dick energy....

What random locations to hold outposts. Where is this one?

Lol “Thats Classified”

I still wonder why Andre is there. Not like Gays are helping repopulate the world.

LOL WHAT IS THIS THE HUNGER GAMES?

TELL THEM COCO U DID PAY!

Wait why can Gay Evan Peters volunteer as tribute?

Why would I want a pill? Ugh, cannibals are weird plot device.

I was wondering if he will ask about the Grays and deteremine if they were good.

“You were 52 when Elvis took his last shit” #CocoIsLife

OH SHIT THATS RIGHT JOAN COLLINS U DID OUTLIVE THEM ALL!

Michael Langdon needs a chill pill....

I can’t handle his wig...

Lol your ability to impregnate a woman isn’t needed.

Anger and grandmother.

Lol she’s shaming him to be the perfect gay. 

Is Michael Langdon flirting with Gay Evan Peters?

I will admit if he came out as straight I zoned out and missed that remark, not trying to erase his sexuality, just still on the he’s gay train.

Subrban Gay Lunches hahaha

I hate brunch

Lol a cat charity, yay Joan Collins.

Omg yes, I love this luncheon improper dining material attire he has.

LOL He’s so relatable with his rebellion

“I like a lot of things” I bet it’s Michael.

OH GOOD We both find Michael flriting. Just a gay baiter I swear.

I mean you’re either gonna get in or die, I’d jump on it to make out with him.

Wow, what a power move.

Lol him asking if he got him just got him thrown out.

I agree with Jail Girl, this kissing between her and UCLA guy is bullshit.

She’s going to explore the world to find a safehouse?

RUBBERMAN! AHHHH Michael Langdon is all for this.

Wow I’m not even into leather and I find this hot.

Oh nvm, lick, “I’m yours.” #Done.

Oh... Joan Collins going to walk in on it.

Wait isn’t this unauthorized copulation?

Oh another commercial.

I think the biggest Horror Story this season yet is I bet that the Rubberman did NOT have lube with him while doing that....

Oh Joan Collins appears to Kathy Bates, what a snitch.

I personally thinking that Joan Collins batty old lady is dying. She said in an interview she’s playing 3 or 4 characters this season so this seems like a good time to die.

So Michael Langdon walked by, while the Rubberman’s afoot with Gay Evan Peters.

Oh, an email and such.

Like am I supposed to be scared when the Rubberman is on the ceiling, all I know about him is that he appears and sex/rapes people.

Oh god, they’re going to realize that sex is allowed, do it, then get caught and punished because of the email like the promos.

Michael Langdon confronting Venable; I love his outfit.

“Nothing would be more humiliating to a man such as yourself than to have a woman know more than him.” TELL HIM VENABLE!

“I’m just doing my best with the mess men created.”

A woman, young mother? Nevermind, I thought it was Cordelia for a moment.

LOL That no to the Mercy Killing.

Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt <3

Venable’s last choice is COCO!?

Damn Venable hates everyone! Guess that’s what torturing for 18 months does. Although, I don’t know why.

Lol getting undressed is shame and undressed? Jeez, guess I’m not making it into the Sancutary.

Is that a hump back? A Tumor? Like I’m too biologically stupid to get Venable’s condition.

Cody Fern is doing great wonders acting as Michael Langdon.

Kathy Bates is so angry at Michael, but later she says “Hail Satan”?

Wow this whole sexual tension with Michael Langdon going on made me forget we have yet to see Madison yet for a minute.

Oh we are back.

Oh strung up and stuff. 

“In my soul I have know him always” My god, why is this necessary, can I just get to Madison.

Gay radicals of the 70s and 80s... Ryan Murphy... I’m surprised you’re not throwing your name into this.

Oh thank god Venable see’s he’s loving it.

DAMN MICHAEL LANGDON! 

Oh well at least he admits Gay Evan Peters is hot.

Awww needy </3

“My Nana” really? You were selling her out hours ago....

If this entire season is just one person being interviewed an Episode I am going to throw a fit.

Oh look, Michael used telekinesis.

“Yeah of course it was, you had three networks.”

Omg Coco’s monologue about how hard it is to be young in here. I can’t. Sexual Orientations hahaha.

“Um... we’re sitting right here.” Tell her Coco!

“Perverted Lifestyle” </3

“I am the bridge between the past and future.”

“Humanity may be in a sorry state, but it deserves better than you.”

Oh Joan Collin’s ring is NICE!

“Well, it’s a good thing you convinced me to save your Nana.” #TellHimCoco

UCLA BOY NO! Ugh I thought Jail Girl would cave in first.

Oh Rubberman.

Ugh commercial.

Maybe Madison’s the Rubberman.

At this rate I’m just praying Madison’s been involved as The Rubberman. Anything to get her into the show.

Oh and another commercial...

Awww Gay Evan Peters looks so sad </3

STEVIE NICKS! 

RUBBERMAN!

OMG THE COVEN IS COMING!

I hope that’s Stevie at least. It sounds like her.

How alluring, to just come and follow me.

Rubberman has transmutation?

Ew is Rubberman killing Joan Collins?

Oh okay no. They’re just going to engage in the sex again.

Oh UCLA and Jail Girl got caught finally.

Oh Gay Evan Peter’s is getting rough.

I wonder how Emma Roberts feels about this acting.

Oh snap!!!! Conciliium. 

I wonder what Joan Collins was thinking in their world as Evan Peters was being all sexy talk and such before he killed her.

This cane dong dong that Venable does is such a powermove. It’s kind of cool.

OH SNAP he shot Kathy Bates!

Oh she’s fine. 

OMG SHE’S A ROBOT!

Oh we get a new episode trailer this week?

Unless she’s like an alien from season 2? I have no idea. I just am noticiting it’s 10:57 p.m. EST and no fucking Madison Montgomery despite the fact that she’s in the starring cast opening trailers....

All Hallows Eve?

Mallory demanding to be freed?!

Oh I saw the witches walking through the fog.

I’m still confused why Kathy Bates is a robot.

Oh well.... No Madison. No care. Good episode, the writing and acting were nice. I wonder which episode Evan Peters will direct.

[leadrains]

hey it's the guy you know that one guy

i keep having to pause because my roommate is blow drying her hair maybe i should just take a minute

ok she's done im starting over cause i only got like a minute in and didnt hear shit

oh yeah this is definitely an 80s movie

why they fighting like that this some gay ass shit

help while i was typing that he said okay boys let's go but it sounded like he said gay boys let's go

💀 the pig dont know how to open a car door? ok

i like the vibes this movie will probably be my personality in a few hours

the kid looks familiar

is that the kid from the princess bride??????

no nvm i dont think it is it's just some other little blonde kid

this seems like it's going to be a decent depiction of siblings which is good bc im physically repulsed by shit portrayals of sibling relationships

the older brother is hot and so is the girl he's staring at

society

hot video store girl is hot

yall dont understand i NEED to be part of a gay vampire gang

why is he stalking her bro just talk to her instead of being a freak

the comic store got me fucked up

hot girl is a vampire okayy

these ppl r about to die

why is all the vampire stuff off screen

why are these teenage boys acting like robots

why dont they just straight up tell him there are vampires

weird ass behavior

i want to live in this movie and also kiss the older brother a little

u dont need star michael baby im right here dont even worry about it

i hope they make him a vampire but not in a bad way

i hope they dont fucking kill him

dontkillhimdontkillhimdontkillhimdontkillhim

make him a sexy vampire please ♥️

why does that child have a poster of a man holding his shirt up 😟 this nigga gay

did he just eat without looking at his food??

oh it's all what we do in the shadows ok

this guy has a crush on michael

i understand

this is some weird ass editing

why is he drinking do much

no biting?

whatever i think i got what i asked for

if he dies im turning this movie off

they couldnt afford the flying visual effects

why is he acting weird

those some dramatic ass bikes

this child has excellent vibes. i need to adopt him

my roommate turned the fucking lights off if i get scared im dying

dont kill ur brother bro

dude what

what da dog doing

where did it go tho

NOT HIM GONNA SNITCH TO MOM LMAOOOO PIECE OF SHIT

that's so funny bye

if my sister was a vampire i wouldnt snitch i would have her turn me

if she refused to i might kill her tho /hj

this is funny also rip to the video store guy

i didnt expect this to be funny

"it was a scary comic mom" gn

so she just didnt go back to the date? or call? i hope the video guy doesnt die

oh hes gonna die

sigh

michael gonna find a dead body or sum

why cant they just say it straight up

oh they fucking ok

this is so aggressively 80s

im only halfway through this lowkey dragging

the mom is nice i think i like her

i hope the video guy isnt dead please

GET YO DOG BITCH

is the video guy a vampire?

that cheese is visibly garlic why wouldn't he just mix some in with cheese

wtf 💀 leave this man alone

are they gonna kill those punks

why wouldnt they just tell him straight up theyre vampires and made him one

the gore looks like jelly

if the kid wasnt here this would just be a drama that child is bringing all of the comedy

i hope this goes well 😖 dont kill them kids

like please fr dont butcher those 14 year olds

why doesnt the kid have any weapons he's just following them

theyre gonna find dead bodies

if this doesnt have a happy ending im gonna be mad

they are gonna wake up

theyre probably already awake

rip that one guy you know that one guy from that one thing

kill the rest of them freaks

not the glitter blood 💀💀

wait is it the kid from princess bride??

hold on

it's not they just look vaguely similar

why was that foot shot necessary 😟

this better go well fr

get yo dog bitch

oh come ON

why dont they turn on the lights 😟

these kids suck

good dog

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

what going on

jumpscare

is that it or

jumpscare again

ok they are destroying this house bro

dial it back man the house is in fucking shambles

death by stereo i love this kid

not the child :(

why is the main vampire being so weird bro just throw down stop hiding

YESSS VAMPIRE FIGHT

this is so stupid haha

OOOOOOO OK

there are dead bodies and blood all over their house

he isnt turning normal?

oh god what's happening

who is it

what's happening

NO NO

wait is it

is it the video guy

DAMN

REALLY

OKAY

interesting

that's actually a really good twist

there was some decent setup

hold on the lights just timed off in my room this is not okay

but this is a really well executed twist

i knew gpa knew what was up

this is a good movie

new comfort movie

new fave

why didnt grandpa warn them 💀

weird ass ending on their faces like that but ok overall 10/10 excellent only thing that would make it better would be if it was gay 🤷🏾‍♂️

watching the lost boys will be liveblogging once again

[xxgothchatonxx]

Happy 1am! My uterus is trying to commit murder & I really want ice cream but I just brushed my teeth so I think The Kiss is the only thing sustaining me tonight.

Dolce:

* And we open withhhhhhh a drop of blood! As so many episodes do.

* OH SHIT THIS IS THE ONE WHERE HE WALKS AROUND FLORENCE LOOKING BEAT TO SHIT!!! Amazing, spectacular, dare I dykely say, sexy.

* No, the sexy part is Bedelia bathing him. Oh, to be cared for by a Milf. A lesbians dream come true.

* UGH THE SCORE IN THIS OPENING ALONE!!!!! The cracks & cranes & little ticks & drops & hums! AMAZING!!!!!!

* And our reunion on Florence!!!! With two limping old friends. One from a fight & one from *wheezing* falling off a train.

* “Will you slip away with him [Hanni]?” “Part of me will want to.” Don’t be shy, babe, you can do it.

* Why DIDNT Jack kill OH YUP GOOD ANSWER!

* Oh NOOOOOOO NOT THE END!!!! Thank you for giving me this scene, my darling. I’m so grateful.

* History repeating itself is the central theme of this damn show.

* God damn, I don’t think I blinked that entire time. OH MY GOD, THAT CLICKING RETURNS WITH THE KISS!!!!

* “But not today.” Ma’am, what if I die? It will be your fault. God. Women. 😍

* CERDO!

* Cordell is THIS close to loosing his job. Oh nvm, he’s Peking. I do love Peking duck😋

* LMAOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!! The giant glazed Hannibal.

* Oh Margot looks GOOD!

* Bedelia, what are you OH RIGHT YOU’RE GONNA GET HIGH!

* Chiyoh & Bedelia. Yummmmmmmmy

* OH I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS BIRD METAPHOR!!! AMAZINGGGGGG!

* Cage him. Like that man now hanging.

* “I thought Will Graham was Hannibal’s biggest mistake…I wonder if it isn’t you.”

* I’m fine with needles, but THIS OH DID SHE HAVE TO BITE HER LIPS???

* I’M SORRY, I HAVE TO LAUGH!!!! High Bedelia with Will AND Jack?? YES, PLEASE!!!!

* Ugh, she’s so high, but So Cute.

* Oh, we love a reversal! Will doesn’t believe her like how she actually believed him!

* Lmao Jack’s impressed!🤣

* Of course Will pulls a Batman.

* Margot needs a new foundation. Or a just no foundation lips.

* “I could take parenting classes.”🤣🤣🤣

* OH HE’S BACK! Working on his art, once again.

* MUSEUM DATE WITH THE BOYFRIEND HELL YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

* LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACES!!!!!

* “If I saw you every day, forever, Will, I would remember this time.” “Strange seeing you here in from of me. Been staring at afterimages of you in places you haven’t been in years.” They’re so in love, your honor.

* “How is Chiyoh?” “She pushed me off a train.” “Atta girl.” SHUT UP, I LOVE HIM! Also, yes, OF COURSE I’m thinking Caro thoughts.

* “You & I have begun to blur.” & that’s what I love about this fucking show. THEY’RE CONNECTED, PEOPLE!!!!

* I know I haven’t finished this show, but that was easily my favorite scene of the entire thing so far. Nope; I lied. Season 2 ending THEN museum date.

* CHIYOH BABE, DON’T HOLD BACK! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

* NOT THE BOY, GET THE CANNIBAL!!!!

* I’m sorry, did we just cut to The Sapphics? We did.

* Adore the kaleidoscope.

* Time to rank! This lesbian gives it a 7/10! (remind me to send you the podcast ep. I did on Lesbian in movies)

* Give Bedelia her Oscar! Hand over mouth theatrics. Amazing.

* LE GASP!

* Absolutely fucking dying over this God conversation. “Does God gloat?” “Often.” BASTARD!

* Did I blink and miss Hannibal injecting Will with something? Because I feel like I did.

* OH THE BUTTER INTO THE TABLE! YESSSS

* Ahhhh, the soup!!!! Let’s hope this one doesn’t kill his immune system.

* He’s so dramatic. Calm Down, Hanni.

* DONT ATTACK HIS SOUP!!!!

* Oh no wait no. Please tell me this isn’t leg day.

* Jack, what are you snooping around for?

* OH WITH CHIYOH! My dark academia goddess.

* Let’s see how long it takes for them to try & kill each other.

* And what did you find? Your old friend!

* OH NO NOT THE ANKLE!

* Damn, she’s still at it!!! Her eyes DONT YOU DARE TOUCH HER!!!!!

* Please babe, just punch his nose. We all want it.

* And I see that Jack has joined for dinner. So, not leg day.

* Every one’s eyes in this episode is extra emotional & sparkly!

* HANNIBAL WHAT IS THAT FOR???

* Hannibal, I know isn’t happening! You’d never do that to him! Right? RIGHT?!

* HANNIBAL AND JACK!!!!! OH MY GOD!

* Fucking NBC Joker I STG!

* I will admit, very strong episode. But more so in the Florence department than anything else. I wasn’t that interested with the Vergers. The museum date was the best part.

Bloody and beaten!Hanni is one of the sexiest types of Hanni, which is why I think you're going to enjoy the next episode :D

Slight side-note, Gillian Anderson sounded so much like Anthony Hopkins (ok in terms of tone and such) when she said "but not today..." and that just makes it so much sexier to me.

Ahh yes, the legendary gallery reunion... which was turned into fanart that is now hanging in the U.S. Capitol... I am not kidding 😂 also Hanni is saying a quote that he said to Clarice in the book - "if I saw you every day forever" etc. so in case there is ANY doubt (not from you of course <3) that he is in love with Will... they literally used one of the most blatantly romantic lines from the books!

Ok, so the kaleidoscope s3x scene - I adored this scene because a) it's filmed so uniquely that it's such a "lol, what the fuck" moment when you first see it, but also b) this is the first s3x scene that is a pure, loving, no-hidden-agendas-and-no-thinking-about-other-people intercourse between two people. Like, it's such a beautiful intimate moment between these two women who have been hurt so much, but have found comfort and love in each other, you know what I mean? Also the writer of this episode is Don Mancini aka the creator of Chucky who recently gave us That Epic Scene in the Chucky show sooooo this is a very queer horror show 😂

Now onto the mid-season finale! I expect a lot of screaming, and I also have a bit of homework for you - try and work out which scene my grandma accidentally walked in on, and proceeded to go "wait, what on earth are you watching?" "Hannibal." "...that cannot be Hannibal Lecter, this man is attractive" 😂