#i hope pee pee man gets hit by a truck god bless

[starfiyah]

btw if trudeau doesn’t step down before our next election i’m going to go feral

[black-water-simping-ships]

bless very legal streaming sites that get me access to what i will predict to be a very quality movie

we open on basic 'US in space' footage, followed by a site... *checks notes* 'near moscow', except it looks like your generic siberian wilderness lmao. then again i don't know what the moscow suburbs look like do i?

the electrical fence не работает. that is the literal translation of 'does not work'. it does not have a job. i do not kno how to say 'does not function' in russian so maybe не работает is the perfect phrase to use. but because i do not know it looks like a hilarious case of google translate

"boy howdy am i glad those sharks are behind an electrified fence"

8/10 on the bucket toss, i expected it to be dented

"speak english, they won't understand you"

a man just got cut in half by a shark fin maybe?

there. um. there is a conveniently parked spaceship there. right in the complex where they research mutated sharks. lads this is the soviet union i.

"how do i fly this thing?" "don't you remember your cosmonaut training? start the engines and hit the gas"

this was said in english. one of the actors is trying a light russian accent, the other doesn't even bother

oh yes and we have seen a woman take off her high heels to fight a shark that looks like the reused suicide squad shark guy model

timestamp: 04:17. thisd will be a long movie

present time! mission: tabula rasa, aboard a spaceship that looks straight out of alien, none of those guys are in space gear,

oh hey the engineer got appenditis just before launch. because of a food truck?

the alternate is a Cool Guy. we know that he is a Cool Guy because he rides between the two lanes on a fast street. unfortunately there is no traffic to maim him fatally for being a right tit

same third shot of a guy smirking and shaking his head, same third scene with two so far name- and speechless extras strapped into their seats

MOSS BALLS

everyone has had a line so far but the smirking guy's main job still seems to be to shake his head in amusement

"we'll shoot to the far side of the moon in t-95s" no. no, in 95 seconds. t minus x represents a fucking moment, not a timespan, do you say "oh, i'll go to the store in 5 pm", motherfucker?

only-tree-in-200-km-of-desert-hit-by-a-truck dot pee en gee

yeah so far they mentioned a LOT of the chinese moon equipment (TIL about the 鹊桥 satelite and the 玉兔 rover) but their pronounciation is godawful except for one woman

on that note, i hope henri isn't french because he wouldn't deserve americans butering his name for 88 minutes

how is a spectrometer lifesaving

ok the editing on the moonwalk is nearly acceptable but the acting is shit and dialogue is missing according to the subs

I TAKE IT BACK

moon shark moon shark moon shark m

where's vijay when you need him smh

even if you're...under a magma chamber? you sure bud? you mightn't be above it? no? no. ok.

god i wanna listen to their debut single

fyi sound needs a medium to move, the moon has barely any atmosphere, this. yeh

i'm calling it, he fucked a shark. his daughter is half mutant shark, which is why she can live without oxygen unlike him

yeah it took .5 seconds to reveal she has a fin

let us speak in english instead of russian before the american crew, papá, especially when we express doubts about their sincerity

ok yeah i'm stopping this for now, the 'russian' accent has become unbearable

[c-you-on-the-otherside]

10/17/17

Today, at therapy, we talked a lot about how my conversation with Jill went and how proud I felt in that moment to experience so much acceptance and support. It truly makes me proud to have a friend like her, and to have had her react in such a positive way to me being trans. My therapist loved hearing about every detail of how that went down, and I loved telling it, because I got to relive a moment of euphoria...A moment of happiness from me deciding to tell someone important to me that I’m trans. We spoke a lot about relationships and how deeply I take words.  Being a writer, it totally makes sense that words have been and still are, my most important love language.  Talking with her about love languages was great, because I see more and more how much it makes sense as to why my relationships all turn out the way they do... And it’s because words are everything to me...but acts of service fall quickly behind that, and so if you’re telling me one thing and doing another, I’m not happy. I need consistency. We went back to the Jill conversation a lot because in the hour and half phone call we had, we touched upon a little bit of everything in the nicest way. I told her how nice it was to have someone that can relate and guide me through the process of possibly having an unaccepting family.  I got emotional when I explained to her though, that I don’t think my family will disown me. It’s hard to explain, but there is so much love in my family and I know it and I feel it.  There would never be anything that would make my family cut me off, ever.  And I know this, but this doesn’t make it any less scary. Because there’s disappointment and there’s anger, and there’s confusion. There are so many things that they will FEEL and I’ll be able to tell. I will be able to see it all over their faces when they look at me. And although their responses will be natural, thinking about what they are thinking gives me anxiety. I feel like I’ve done a lot to make my parents proud. I’ve always set out to please them, but your 20′s are fucking hard. And your 20′s are filled with so much uncertainty...so much expectation of finding yourself after 18 years of being told what to do, who to respect, what is expected of you. It’s insane to think about how much goes into finding yourself and I’ve taken the steps to “transitioning” without even realizing what I’m doing. Cutting my hair, dressing more and more like a guy...I’ve gotten my feet wet, and now I’ve hit a wall, where I can no longer do any more transitioning to get to where I need to be until I meet with a doctor...until I take T...until I have Top surgery.. And that’s a big source of why I can’t attain the happiness I always search for.  I try my best, but I’m not happy in the body I live in. That’s the problem. That’s the little thing that’s always been missing.  I’m nervous to take away the daughter my mom wanted, but to be truthful, I was never there. I came out to her every time I screamed about wearing a dress. I came out to her every time I begged her to bring me to get sweatpants and sports shirts. I came out to her every time I played sports with the boys or played with my brothers tonka trucks. I came out to her when I told her I bought my first real pair of mens jeans when I was a freshman in college. I came out to her when I became the masculine women in all my relationships. I came out to her when I cut my hair. And I came out to her when I said “I guess” when she asked me if I felt like a girl when I was back home visiting my family... And now, I need to come out again. I need to come out with the words, I’m trans. And though I’ve watched her face soften every time I’ve taken small steps, I know this one is bigger and badder, and more permanent.  This is the one that will officially admit the loss her daughter, and the transition to the third son she never got to accept growing up. And my dad loses his little girl. My dad can’t say he’s proud of his sweet girl. My dad and I lose a father-daughter connection that I’ve loved having.... I mean don’t we? Does me becoming a man all of a sudden change the way he gets to love me? I’m unsure.  But I know this life I live is my own and my therapist told me the one thing parents want more than anything for their children is for them to be happy. But I told her parents also have fear....and my parents have always made it known that they want to protect me from the bad in the word. And I told her I’m busy protecting myself, that I don’t need the pressure of knowing they want to protect me from the words of other people and the actions of those who hate the LGBTQ community.  I don’t need them to fear, I just want them to want me to be happy.  I want them to be happy because I’m happy, and I want to leave out all the rest. Because that fear, can be mine, and mine only. And I don’t want it to be theirs. That disappointment I’m sure they will feel, I hope, is something that fades into happiness that I’m now my most authentic self. And slowly and surely I’m getting to a point where I will be ready to tell my family... Maybe soon, maybe not, but talking has really helped. Telling the people who matter as friends has really helped. Making this blog has helped. Buying queer books has helped. Wearing a chest binder has helped. Having people play with different pronouns has helped. Being called handsome has helped.  And I’m so blessed to feel all this pride because it encourages me and solidifies the idea that I am in fact trans...and I’m just nervous as all hell to accept it.  No, I’m nervous as hell, to take away from my parents what they’ve always wanted, and never got.  But transitioning to a man takes away the facade of the daughter they had, makes me into the man I’m meant to be, but turns their daughter into this unknown stranger of a man.... A man they never got to raise properly. A man they never got to love. A man they never taught how to shave or pee standing up. A man they never got to meet, until now. A man they suddenly need to love as a son. A person, they will feel they failed, because I was raised as the wrong gender. But I’m thankful for that.  I know so much about women, because I was one. I know how to respect a lady, I know how to love a women, in ways that men who were birthed as men will never understand. And that’s the beauty in the mind of transgender individuals. That’s the beauty in being raised without gender roles. And the beauty in somehow knowing, even as a young, innocent little girl, that I was never meant to do my hair up, or wear make-up, or play with barbies. It was far beyond a tomboy, I was a boy, and didn’t know how to articulate that into words. But my actions showed it. I love my therapist and it actually makes me really sad that we will be done together come December.  But I am so god damn proud of the steps I’m making and the revelation I’m making about myself that now all seem to piece together and make sense. Today was a good day. This guy is pretty fucking proud of the man I’m becoming. 

[herdearlybeloved]

Aloha oe

Been up for three days straight with no sleep. Packing and shipping off stuff. I love flying, it makes me feel high every time I go up or down in a plane. I was on a 13 hr flight plan. Before I left, I treated Nancy and Steven out to Miller’s ale house, then the next day, we went to Taste Of Vietnam & Maggie Moo’s. They even dressed up the first time. Brother in law was in a suit and sister was in dress and heels. Mamma Brenda told me two angels will look over me while I fly out. Their names were Gabriel & Matihas. Steven played an owl city song with aloe blacc for me before I left. Mamma dropped me off at the airport and I adulted again for the first time. Flying alone, no one in my family has done that before, at the ones I know. I’m a rebel. Crazy and ambitious. I was getting more and more restless as the hours went by. I was so excited. Plans me and babe had set were finally in motion ! I just couldn’t wait to see him. Ps. he knows how to fuck me right, Thank God. First flight, I made friends with a guy going to Detroit. He helped me with stuff I was confused about. The ticket guy scan my ticket, looked at me & say Aloha ! Delta knows how to feed a nigga. Only thing was their two salads; gourmet, yes but it taste like ass. So going through TSA checkpoint was pretty fun. My groin showed green. So I got patted up and down and hands checked. All I could think was Zaaayummmm I got some bomb ass pussy !! ^_^ In Atlanta, I watched flights take off, something happened so airport fire truck & ambulance came out. The lady standing at the flight screen helped me and flagged me down that I was going the wrong way to my flight gate lmao Boarding the plane, shit was freezing like north pole cold, my feet were swollen the whole flight. I befriended a radiologist from Charlotte, she’s 48 yrs old & her name was Charrisa. ( funny how life goes , the girl leon wanted to marry had the same name.) She was pretty much my flight mama & we helped each other with whatever even after we got off. She even gave me her blanket so I could be covered from head to toe. She taught me how to play sudoku and I caught onto it in like 10 seconds. She was a stylish mamma with her teletubbies suitcase lol I tried to sleep on the flight but the kid behind me kept whaling in my ear, I was about to say come sit on my lap and let’s colour. My body shocked me every time I tried to sleep, I bashed my heel so hard onto the metal underneath my foot, it made me angry so I stopped trying to sleep. I watched movies, played games, me and flight mamma was being flight monitors constantly looking at our flight details. She played words with friends and cookie jam most of the time while I attempted to sleep and keep myself busy. I remember getting up and thinking to myself I need to get the hell off this plane, let me go jump out the exit after seeing we had 6 hours left lol We were on a 9 hr 7min flight after leaving ATL. The girl in front of me talked so much throughout the flight trying to educate the lady next to her about Hawaiians & etc. Despite me talking shit, she dropped her pen, didn’t realize it so I picked it up and gave it back to her. Me and flight mamma ears kept popping the whole flight, every time we looked at the flight time, we would roll our eyes and laugh. I talked to her about Leon, she told me her friend she was visiting is retired army as well. Being up in the clouds was so amazing, I know for sure I’m pursuing a pilot’s license. I asked flight mum why she barely open the window, she told me the couple behind us kept shutting it down, which I didn’t realize til later after we tried opening it up so many times lol Everyone wanted to be in darkness or something, heard it was about being able to see the screen. Me and flight mamma were one of the last people to go pee. She told me we have yet to go use the restroom, honestly I was waiting on her to want to go because I was too shy to get up in front of everyone by myself. We both lost our way to our seats and had to flag each other down. Delta kept asking us if we needed drinks. They also fed us pretty well, so many snacks. I couldn’t poop because I didn’t know if someone else needed to use the bathroom & one of the flight attendants made me uncomfortable. The last and one movie I actually watched was Kong Island. It was great ! I hope King Kong finds a partner tbh. The bingo game was flawed asf, the whole board filled up and it kept saying I didn’t have a valid bingo. Flying in was amazing, scenery was beautiful. We had to sign a form saying we won’t carry seeds and etc into Hawai'i. When asked my purpose for being here, I wrote this: My boo bear ^_^ I always find time to goof off lol Me and flight mamma lost each other trying to find the baggage claim but She found me and her friend lei her and I was standing at the wrong baggage claim until he came over and asked if I sky or regular. After they seen my luggage , they offered me this cart to carry my stuff, how kind. Boo Bear saw me , kissed me and lei me. Bruh. The love I was feeling made me so fucking high as tired as I was. Babe gives me these stares that makes me feel like I’m the luckiest girl In the world because he looks at me with such love and admiration. Babe house is freezing, he likes it cold, glad I brought my winter clothes ! LOL He made me feel so welcomed saying things in context like this is your new home, our home , we this and that etc. Made me feel like wow all the shit we talk and dream about and made plans for ACTUALLY happened. I wanted to fuck & blow baes brains out and ride him out into the sunset when I came but he layed me down and helped me sleep. We went to Wal-Mart and the prices are more than Florida but not as scary as I imagined. Mickey d’s here isn’t any different from what I see in Florida. We went to Tantalus. (Mountain side) It was beautiful, saw all of Honolulu. Narrow roads, every turn you were bound to crash into a tree or go off the road. But babe knows his way and he’s a racecar driver 💙 It started raining while I was taking pictures so babe gave me an umbrella and the thing turned upside down on me 😂😅 Gonna send my mommy postcards of me in Hawaiian dresses lol Everyone is happy for me and pretty supportive, They feel I deserve it and that this is a right move for me in my life. Funny, even the ones who forgot about me was happy for me. Some people on the other hand wanna act upset and shit. They try to hate on my relationship saying oh we only been together for a week yet they don’t know the history. I brush that shit off like sand on my shoes. I been getting bad batches of men left to right. Finding love in all the wrong places but now I have a good man by my side and he treats me right , treats me good, fucks me right, motivates me to be/do better. I don’t know how the hell I got so lucky and blessed. When I look at Leon sometimes, something about him ignities a wildfire inside of me and I just fall immensely for him. He makes me so happy to the point where I asked him if the devil sent him. God this is the best thing that EVER happened to me besides my birth. I been so high on life I honestly find it hard to focus on the negative. I find it bad because whenever I get snapped on, I have no emotions about it , Hell I might even laugh. But can you believe it… I’m in Hawai'i and my home is Waipahu !! It hasn’t hit me yet that I actually flew out for 13 hrs and I’m here with my honey pie like I don’t have to wait , I don’t have to talk through Snapchat or video chat, I have him in flesh with me , showering me with love and all. What more could I ask for. I always wanted two things in life besides being happy and successful which was to love and to be loved. Now it is happening. I feel like I won the lottery lord. Nancy and Taylor and a few more people called me crazy , they say what girl drops everything to go move and be with a guy. One who is crazy, got big ass cojones , in love and got faith that shit will work out , that’s who. Whatever happened in the past, It’s in the past & I put it behind me. Time to look up and forward. If you’re reading this, pray for me. Love and light mofos ! Mahalo.