#i hope its a quick and easy appointment tho

[urdtarah]

I'm finally going to see a dermatologist on Monday for my acne 😩 it's long overdue tbh

[peterbae]

Into it — Starker

W: age difference, incest kink — Peter and Tony aren’t actually related, but they like to pretend they do, exhibitionism kink

Author’s note: Okay, so I saw this @starkerxstarker ‘s  prompt and decided to write something just for myself. I decided to publish it tho, so I hope you’ll enjoy it!

(English isn’t my first language so forgive me for any mistakes) ...

Well, the blame wasn’t his to begin with, no matter what Tony says now.

It started pretty normal with Tony’s “Yes, show Daddy how much you love his cock.”, when Peter was going down on him, and then it turned into something more.

After discovering that they both shared this one specific kink, they made the very best of it. It turned them on more than anything else before — age difference, the obvious power play and an adrenaline rush they got from thinking they could get caught. And get caught they did…

The only peaceful morning Avengers could have (since Thor was absent due to him visiting Lady Jane), as Clint referred to it every time he told this story, the heroes were eating their breakfast. Pop tarts weren’t flying in the air so they deemed it a success. Steve made some French toasts and their happy chatter could be heard from the elevator. Unfortunately, if someone was engaged in other business, the presence of Captain America, Black Widow, Hulk, Hawkeye and the Falcon could be missed. Especially when a ride from ones bedroom to communal kitchen took so long and you were graced with company of your younger, persuasive boyfriend.

The two appeared in the hall, abandoning elevator’s wall for the hall’s one. It was just Parker’s luck, as Tony later explained, that their current location gave the group perfect view of what was happening. Mind you, they were about to stop them, but before they could, Tony’s mouth found its way to younger man’s neck and as he threw his head back, he moaned: “Oh, Daddy”.

The silence that followed was broken by gagging sounds made both by Clint and Sam. Natasha just raised her perfect eyebrow and Steve… Well, he blushed and asked them to take a seat.

What the Avengers did not know was that he liked it. One look at Tony made Peter’s knees weak and he could hardly focus on his breakfast. But he survived awkward boner and later on had very successful time in older man’s lab. Genius noticed — of course he did. He always did. And if Peter cum on the spot after hearing Stark’s dirty talk and mentions of glass walls that exposed them to anyone who would dare to visit Tony’s dungeon, as they liked to call it, nobody needed to know.

But then it turned into something else. After accepting the whole daddy kink thing they had going on, they went on a little trip. Somehow they ended up in some small town in Virginia. It wasn’t as bad as Tony made it to be and Peter really liked town’s aesthetic. It was also very funny to see his daddy stumble when the fifth person he tried to charm didn’t recognise him. Peter hid his mouth in his fist and tried to stay calm, when the oblivious waitress took their order.

“And anything else for your son?” She asked, and Peter immediately froze. He looked up only to see genius’s unreadable expression. “No, that will be all, thank you.” He told young woman.

When he caught genius’s eye, he didn’t know if he was upset. Tony gave the waitress his press smile and then focused on his own food. Spider-man couldn’t quite figure him out so he did the same.

You see, the thing is, Peter didn’t know if his boyfriend was upset, but he did know that waitress’s words excited him. Only couple of minutes later he caught Tony’s gaze on his red cheeks, which made him blush even more.

Peter coughed, trying to act like he was fine, but the dark eyes that were currently on his mouth didn’t make it easier. “Eat your pancakes, Pete. Dad’s got a thing he has to take care of later.” He murmured and Peter knew he was in for a hell of a ride.

The pension they were staying in wasn’t too far, so about half an hour later, they found themselves in their room. Peter’s back was on the wall, his hands held above his hand in a tight grip.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” Tony asked, getting younger man to shiver under his gaze. “The thought of them seeing us as father and son.” Older man continued. “You like being seen as this pure, innocent boy, huh, Pete?” He asked and all Peter could do in response was nod. He whined, high pitched voice going straight to genius’s cock. “Now, now, Pete, use your words.” The older man hummed, scratching the back of spider-man’s neck. “You’re a big boy, aren’t you?” He teased.

Peter blinked, his eyes slowly focusing on a figure in front of him. His eyes a little bit darker than usual, his mind practically blank because of their little making out session. It took him a minute, but Anthony was nothing if not a patient man (he really wasn’t, but for his dearest, he could wait). He waited this long and Peter knew he could wait longer. He wasn’t going to give in, no matter how desperate his boyfriend was.

“Ah, I—I do.” Younger moaned eventually. “You… Your age..” He groaned but somehow he knew that Tony knew what he meant. He wasn’t wrong, because brunette soon took a pity on him and his fingers found its way to Peter’s hole.

The thing is, it didn’t end with that. They continued, at first a little hesitant (Peter) and amused (Tony), not leaving their bedroom as they often did before discovering this new kink. It’s been almost three weeks after their little trip to Virginia, when Peter, face flushed with embarrassment, threw something at Tony. It was an ad, apparently targeted at fathers and their teenage sons. Older male only sent him a quick glance, raised one eyebrow, but didn’t say a word. The next thing he knew, KAREN informed him about the new appointment on his calendar and boy, was he excited.

The festival or whatever the thing was, wasn’t what Peter suspected it would be. He thought about something more or less related to countryside carnivals. At least, that’s what the flier said. As it turned out, it was more of a private celebration for the richest. Of course, man like Tony Stark was greeted with open arms, and as Peter later realised, that’s precisely why he agreed to come in the first place. They were safe from a public eye here. He knew he should’ve felt relief, but the well hidden disappointment was still there. That’s when it became clear to him — he wanted the world to see, to know that Tony Stark was his and to think about the filthy things they could be caught on doing only turned him even more on.

He survived — somehow — politely answering all the questions, smiling at businessmen, eating his ice cream and following Tony’s path all day. He even called him dad once or twice, only to see Iron Man’s facade falter. The man was too stoic for his liking, his press smile on, his eyes hidden under the expensive glasses. It’s safe to say that these couple of times were the only things that Peter actually enjoyed.

At the end of the day, it wasn’t really as fun as he imagined it would be. Whole event reminded im about the galas they attended regularly, all pretty clothes and boring speeches. It just wasn’t what Peter was looking for.

That’s why the next day, when he found himself pushed to the glass wall of Tony’s office, he didn’t hide his face. Older man asked him if being caught turned him on and he decided it was now or never. He threw his head back, laying it on older’s arm and looked at him with hooded eyes. “So much.” He whispered, only to moan shamelessly when man’s hand massaged him through his pants. Peter wanted more and he hoped that the heavy gaze of his lover meant he understood his tricky signs. If not, he could start considering openly talking about this thing, but god, he didn’t want to. He wasn’t exactly what you’d call shy, but the bedroom stuff still wasn’t something he enjoyed to talk about. After all, he always liked the hands on experience better.

The fact that he was dating genius came in handy. Tony always noticed everything about his surroundings. He was able to tell what was wrong with any household object after short inspection and more often than not was also able to tell what Peter tried to tell him indirectly. That was the case this time too.

Sunday evening they found themselves in some expensive restaurant that older man swore Pepper recommended. They sat in the darkest corner of the place and after couple minutes they decided what they wanted.

Tony greeted waiter with an easy smile, noticing his awestruck gaze. At this moment Peter knew that they were leaving huge tip. Genius always did, but especially when someone so obviously excited to see him, still acted professional and did their best to make them feel comfortable — ordinary, as he heard brunette once say with that longing look.

“The same for my son.” Tony said, not even bothering to hide his wide grin.

Peter decided that two could play a game and soon, he added: “Dad, I’m 19, I can order for myself.” He scolded the man, sending the waiter small smile.

Poor worker, unaware of their little game, just nodded along and left. The next thing he knew, Tony stood up, relocating himself so he sat beside Peter.

“So you’re all grown up now, huh?” Billionaire asked, tracing younger’s spine with his left hand. “We both know you’re just as helpless as the baby, Pete…” He whispered, his breath tasing the skin of teenager’s neck.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked, when older found his way to front of his pants. He unbuttoned them regardless of younger’s almost silent protests. The rest of the guests couldn’t possibly see what was going on, but he could bet on the fact that his face was a give away anyway. He was hard, so he couldn’t exactly lie to the man next to him. Beside, it wasn’t like he was enjoying it.

The humiliation became even more apparent when the confused waiter came back. The two were still hidden, but figuring out what they were doing wasn’t really a rocket science. It was a miracle that they weren’t being thrown out on the spot. Peter suspected it had something to do with the fact that they were Avengers and the man currently stroking his dick could probably buy and destroy the whole restaurant without losing any serious money.

“Ah, Peter, darling, let daddy help you with that.” Tony teased and teen could only feel sorry for the, now absolutely red, waiter. He noted to tell his boyfriend to be exceptionally generous with tips today. After all, this, whatever it was, probably wasn’t in the poor guy’s job description. And they did let him think that they were related at first. Peter just hoped they didn’t scare him for the rest of his life with their little incest thing.

“Tony, we’re gonna get caught.” He choked, placing his hand on the genius’s forearm. He didn’t push or tried to maneuver older’s hand out of his well fitted jeans. He just unconsciously held it — probably to gain some balance. Not that he was in any shape to think about that now, when Tony started moving his hand. “Would that really be so bad, though?” Superhero asked, caressing younger’s thigh with his free hand. “Wouldn’t you like them all to know that you belong to me?” He whispered, almost completely covering him from curious eyes. After being teased and held so closely he could very well smell what was undoubtedly Tony’s expensive cologne and the scent that was entirely just him, all Peter could do was whine. He gave in, just like that, allowing himself to finally enjoy this fantasy of his.

Soon, they found themselves sitting in a sports car, Peter with sticky briefs and Tony with a smug smile. If the hard on in genius’s suit pants was anything to go by, this was another thing the superheroes were not going to give up quickly. And if they scandalised more waiters, they always made sure to make it up to them with generous tips.

[randomsevans]

THE WOLF WITH IN

Part 1 : new alpha

Alpha!Ransom x reader

Summary : after the death of your father your pack needed a new alpha. After many challenges by others in the pack . The asshole known as Ransom becomes the new alpha much to your dislike as he has a certain hatred for you much like the Male in the pack . This leads you to become insecure and leaves you omega to feel like she will never find a mate . If only you knew the real reason.

Warning:language

In wolf form the pack surowed the the appointed alpha , bowling their heads to so respect and new trust in the alpha to look after and do good by the pack . After a not so surprised win on his 3 rd challenge on to becoming the new alpha . Ransom in his dark brown fur stood tall , glaring over the pack , to show his power and new found role and one last chance for some one to challenge him as he become alpha . When no one challenged him . The alpha growledaming every wolf turn their heads up as Ransom stared in your direction.

As now a orphan and the daughter of the last alpha , your slowly approached the new alpha , as the others bowled their heads one last time at you in respect of their late alpha as you walk past . Even tho this was your duty you and you wolf couldn't deny the anxiety that made your fur stand up . Even as Ransom was by far the best to lead the pack , he was intimidating in both wolf and human form . As well as argent and an asshole to you .

You stood in front of your new alpha. The omega in you wanting to please him and your duty , rised you head to show your neck . As even in this form his blue eyes glowed like an ocean , making you feel uneasy. As he nodded his head you relaxed. Bowling your head one more time in front of him . Head in your paws to show submission . No matter how much your human side dislikes him . With one last growl Rasom glared at the pack and made his way in to the cabin. As the rest of the pack did the same .

Your surroundings now clear you make your way to your own cabin. Once in side , you shift back in human form . The mouring of your father still fresh but not enough for to still feel the cloud of sadness that hung over you for weeks . As you made your way though the cabin . You entered your bedroom, to get ready for the celebrations of the new found alpha

You made your way to your wardrobe and picked out random dress and laid them out on your bed . You stared at them in awe . Wishing you didnt have to go , it always ends in embarrassment as you stand their by yourself as others are either with their mates or meet their. But no one ever comes up to you . And on the rare occasion that some one does the moment you introduce yourself they automatically come up with some shitty excuse and leave . You dont know but at this point your use to it so you dont expect to ever find a mate . And that hurts the omega inside of you . It has also caused many years of dealing with your mental health and insecurities

As you stare at the dresses those insecurities began to creep back .

'Who are you trying to impress, no one wanted you !'

'Who are you kidding you'll look hideous in those dress , there look much better on some other omega that can find her self a mate '

Despite your thought you picked out a floral dress that flowed against your body so it didnt hug anything that you didnt want to show , the unwanted curved and bumps just incase, you never know

You began to get ready , your mind kept going to the new alpha, in remaining your self you still have a some what duty to still represent your father. In a way this is your last outing as 'the alphas daughter ' . Even tho you missed your father there was apart of you that had hope now because of his departure that you might be able to find a mate . Because despite the amount of time you ask him and him denying , you had always wander if he was prosisbly scaring pertantical mates away . Now hes gone you might stand a better chance . You hoped anyway.

But unknown to you . The males in the pack was getting there regularly threats to stay away from you once again . Amd that you belonged to someone you least expected .

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌙

As the sun set and the bonfires were lit , spreading their glow though out the wildness. As young pups laughter could be hurt all around. As there ran around with bounce of energy, while there parents hoped that energy would soon run out so there could advanchaly enjoy them self .

You took one quick glass in the mirror. Still not completely confident in what your wearing. With your dress to simple pump with your simple makeup, you could almost hear your mother voice saying how beautiful you were . You scoffed at though. Even tho you didnt believe it then or now it was still nice to hear . But no one was around to say it anymore .

A knock on your bedroom door caused you to make a little jump in surprise as your hand flew over to your chest.

'Who could that be ?' You thought not turning around yet until that so attracting scent of what you could be make out to be sandwood and whiskey with just a hint of sweetness of honey , there was no denying the omega in you was very much attracted to the scent it was almost calming to you . But who it belonged to was a whole different story .

You slowly turned around to face a almost shocked Ransom with his jar open and eyes wide staring directly at you . This was one last thing you expect to see from an alpha .let alone the oh so confident Ransom

"Yes ?" You asked quietly, remember this was your new alpha and you needed to respect . Yet wondering why the new alpha was not yet with his pack celebrating his new role , but instead stood infrount of you .

Clearing his throat a low grumbled rippled through out the room . Causing a shiver down your spine .

"Ummm I... I w..was " he began nervous but then straightened his back and stared directly at you as he regained his confidence as he was having a hard time controlling the alpha with in him ." I think it would be best if we entered together. " his voice raspy .

You only responded with on "oh "

"You know I just thought it would be best for the pack to see the late alphas daughter and their new alpha together " he said but it also wasnt the only reason he wanted to enter the party with you .

You nodded in agreement and slowly approached him . Since you didnt know how he would react as Ransom hadn't set any rules on how we should approach him, if we are ask or simply do .

" if you want to of course?" He asked nervously again . 'His giving you a chose ?' Ransom would often act like this around you , you never understand why but you soon learnt it didnt last very long as his aragents and cockiness quickly would come back though.

"I agree . I think it would be beneficial for the pack " you said as a matter of fact . As you looked into those blue eyes that was so easy for your omega to lose her self in . You saw a flash of hurt but was quickly forgotten about, as Ransom put a hand out towards you .

As you took it . He looked you up and down again , making you feel some what uncomfortable but at the same time not some much , quite enjoying the little attention. With his eyes widen again as they eventually met your , he shook his head as if he was getting rid of thoughts . "You know... you look beautiful as ever "

You were in shook for a moment

'Did Ransom just call you beautiful the new alpha?'

"Ummm thank you .. " you spoke softly "alpha " you finished. Earning that famous Drysdale smirk

"Shall we ?"

"Yes ... we shall " the pair of you started walking out as Ransom look down at were your hands met a simple smile place on his lips . You have never seen before but the omega in you was please to see it . He quickly glance up towards you his smile gone and a dead stare as he squeezed your hand . You quickly relied " alpha! " " sorry alpha "

He let out a small chuckle "it's okay 'mega still getting use it myself "

'What is going on with him ?'

"Must be his new role as alpha, its suits him dont ya think " Your inner wolf said and you hummed in agreement

Tags

@mery-be

@jeremyrennermakesmesmile

@jtargaryen18

[freakynerd85]

Stupidity

Title: Stupidity

Pairing: James Ashton x Vivian (MC)

Rating: Angst

Word count: 1,474

My disclaimer: This character is owned by PB, I just enjoy some elaboration. I really love James Ashton and I love Choices fanfics, especially nasty ass stuff but there isn’t much featuring my original bae, James Ashton from The Freshman series

So, I decided to put my amateur ass talent to work and write with James being the *star of the story*

A/N: * is a separator due to scene change, use of Daddy. My pc is broken. This is my first time posting from my phone (a full story). Don’t judge me too harshly lol.

0Will my heart ever heal? Its been years and I can't stop missing my ex. I'm still not over the way he left me, let alone being over that he left me at all. To make matters worse, I KNOW his wife (the girl he left me to be with) is a murderer and if I could convince him to see her faults than he would leave her murdering ass and be back with me. My therapist tells me that I need to stop picking at the wound if I want to heal, but the only thing I WANT is my relationship with James back!! Sigh. She also suggested finding companionship in a pet. I love Ash, my cat but he is not a replacement. I guess I'm going to attempt to let it be. I miss him and I hope he thinks of me. Even this writing exercise makes me think of him.

Writing in a journal is something James would do.." Comfort shut the Moleskine journal her therapist insisted she started using and sighs heavily before flopping on her couch. Ash meows, but its a deep sound, unlike his usual voice. "Are you crying, boy? Come here." She pats her lap and as if he understands, Ash follows the command to sit on her lap. She pets him. "Your eyes look sad. Are you sad? What's the matter?" He lets out the same low meow as he jumps off her lap. "I guess we're going to the vet."  She stood up to put some real clothes on. "The vet won't appreciate seeing me in lingerie the way James did -y'know what I mean Ash?" She looks around. "Ash?" and doesn't see her cat so she walks the house to find Ash sleeping on the bathroom floor. "My poor, sick boy" she puts him in his carrier and head to the vet

**

"Comfort Greene and Ash" the woman at the front desk calls for them and Comfort frantically rushes to the desk, for fear of losing her place. "Yes! Yes, we're here. Ash is my cat. He's a year old."

"Okay, Ms. Greene, the doctor will see you. Straight to the back "

"Doc?" Comfort walks in the room with Ash in hand, when a man in a blue jumpsuit turns around and smiles. His smile seems to glow, "uhh no, she stepped out. I'm just in here fixing the x-ray machine."

He's so attractive. Maybe flirting with him will help me forget about he who must not be named.

"She trusts you in here alone? You must be someone special." He smiles while putting strands of his golden blonde hair behind his ear.

"Nah. Just a maintenance man maintaining things." He holds out his hand. "Shaun. And you are...?"

"Comfort. My name is Comfort."

"Comfort." He repeats and realizes that he recognizes the name from Vivian's complaints and more importantly from the news coverage of The Black Mamba case.

"I recognize you...you used to date that Ashton guy."

"James! You know him?"

"I'm in love with the girl he married"

"Really!? I hate the bitch. I'm, probably obviously, still in love with him."

"It seems like we can help each other, Comfort. Meet me around 6 pm at Linnie's coffee. You know where it is. "

Although he has not completed his work on the machine, he exits the room leaving Comfort in a haze of anticipation and mystery that she quickly shakes away when the veterinarian, Dr. Moya Aven, enters the room.

"Dr. Aven!? I don't know why the name didn't occur to me when I was making the appointment. You were involved with the trial."

"As were you. What a small world. Anyway, my dear, what's going on with this little guy?" Her acknowledgment of mutual recognition is quick and seemingly dismissive as she looks over Ash.

"He's crying. Like a sad meow, as if he's being deflated"

"Oop. Found the issue" as she picks a short looking grain from Ash's butt. "Poor little guy stomach is bothering him. He's got worms. Easy to treat. " Dr. Aven gave Ash a shot, spoke about healthy upkeep and sent Comfort and Ash home.

**

Comfort stands in front of the mirror, holding a short blue dress in front of her figure. "Ash, should I wear a date dress? I mean, we're meeting to talk about the people we are actually in love with. But wearing a dress is fun. Plus Shaun is cute." Posing in the mirror silently, she speaks again "I

figured it out. You didn't help." She turns to look at her cat "Why am I trying to have a conversation with my cat? Am I talking to myself? Yes, Comfort, you're talking to your damn self." She chuckles before petting Ash and retreating to get dressed. After arguing (in her mind) about gold OR silver accessories, high heel or no heel she decides on gold accessories with a high heel and leaves the house.

**

The sun has almost completed its daily farewell when she arrives at the coffee shop, leaving the cafe near-empty and unlike the chaos of AM hours. She spots Shaun already sitting at a table, waiting on her.

"Hello, Shaun."

"Damn Comfort. You're hot as hell"

She laughs and looks down "Thanks." She looks back up at Shaun who slides her a cup.

"Its hot cocoa. I wasn't sure how you drank your coffee"

"You're not going to poison me, are you?" She laughs at her joke while Shaun remains stone-faced.

"Okay...well, um, the last time I was here was with James.

He introduced me to Vivian as well stood outside, waiting to see if Reyna was okay."

"I remember that hella different."

"How so?"

"Look. Comfort. You want James back and I want Vivian for myself. Let's work together to make this happen"

"You're straight to the point. Okay, Shaun. How do we do this?"

"Okay, I have minimal contact with Vivian so I know what moves she makes. I've been planting random notes to make her seem guilty. He'll get suspicious and that's where you come in. Befriend him, tell him some bullshit like you respect his marriage, you just wanna be friends. Then he'll run directly to you as Vivian looks guiltier and she'll run to me because he's being distant."

"Seem guilty? She IS guilty.",

Shaun allows his head to fall back while heavily sighing before he returns to looking at Comfort, slightly hunched he lowers his voice to a sort of half whispering, half normal volume.

"I forgot you don't know."

"Don't know?"  

"Let's take a drive. My car." She follows his lead to his car and gets in.

"Okay Shaun, what the hell?"

"To make a long story kinda short, Vivian and I used to make out and touch but never had sex. She called it quits when James got with u and she wanted him back.".

"Okay, and...?"

"I acted like I wanted them together. Told her to talk to his girlfriend and scare her a little. I gave her what she thought was a sedative to knock her out while she talked to James. But it was really poison and she killed the bitch."

"Wait. You're blowing my mind here. So Vivian didn't even know she was poisoning her?"

"Yeah"

"And you said James girlfriend so that was meant for ME!?"

Silence.

"I am still in the car with you Shaun. Say something."

"Ain't nothin to say but to admit yeah u were the supposed target. Vivian thought ol' girl was his girlfriend tho."

I'll deal with the shock of almost being a murder victim when I'm home. Why you wanna kill, I'll just say "his girlfriend "?"

"Sending him into a depression woulda made him cold and distant which would a turned Vivian off of him and send her right back to me. Kinda what I'm tryna do now; making him question her innocence and all."

"Damn Shaun. You're kinda ruthless."

"Vivian for me. James for you."

"Why does Vivian still talk to you after you set her up like that?"

"She's afraid I'll say something."

Pulling to the side of Comfort car, they are back at the coffee shop and he is preparing to end the conversation.

"She's already been found not guilty."

"Nobody knows. Not James or anyone but she and I."

He leans to open her door signaling her to get out

"Okay. One last question."

No longer hiding his irritation, Shaun sighs and rolls his eyes "Okay, what"

"How the hell did you get snake venom?"

"Think about it. Where did we meet?"

Comfort finally exits the car as she yells, "THE VET!!"

Shaun shakes his head. "I have your number. I'll be in touch," shutting the car and driving off. Comfort gets in her car and does the same.

Shaun’s idea failed, James and Vivian continues their marriage happily and stopped talking to both Shaun and Comfort deeming them toxic to their marriage and bad for the kids to be around

[pizzapizzadickz]

I don’t really know how to describe how I’ve been doing lately. I’m honestly ridiculously stressed about pretty well everything, pretty much to the point that I’m trying to block it out I think. Today was a long day but I took a nap so I wasn’t too tired through it all. But I’m also really stressed. I just want reasons why I’m so strange. I just wanna be normal. I just wanna be sane. I don’t know what has been happening with me my whole life and I don’t know what’s going on but I just want it all to stop. It’s too much. I have to rely on my parents so so so much sometimes. I have a hard time doing most things. I wish it was easier. I know shit ain’t easy, but I think doing basic things like fucking making appointments or going to them or just living day to day life would be easier than this. I really heavily rely on them and I’d like it if I could stop but I don’t know how nor do I know how to do it in a way that doesn’t hurt me in a way? It’s so hard to explain. I have so many mixed feelings and invisible rules in play that its just hard. I’m so quick to feel as tho I’m being punished and I don’t like it. I want to be able to function but sadly being 18 doesn’t mean that some magical button gets pushed that you all of a sudden become a functional person. I’d like to be one. I wish minor things didn’t cause extreme stress. I wish I could go out and do stuff more often without getting tired and start to snap at people. I try my best to contain it all, but the more tired I get the more snappy I am. I can barely tell how to judge how much energy I have, and usually it ain’t much. I don’t know how to just do things and take care of myself. For some reason it’s all too much work. And I’m so bored lately. I don’t talk about it to my parents bc I’m scared they’ll give me work to do. But I’m so bored all the time, and while I could be doing a lot it also is never the right thing. Living like this? It’s shit. I wish it was better. I wish it was easier. I wish I had enough energy to do everything I want and more. But I don’t. And I kinda wonder if I’ll ever be able to do everything I need to. I hope so. I’m not used to being so...restricted. I’m used to being able to do all the work I needed to in school, yeah I could never do housework + school but I could at least do one of the two. Why can’t I now? Why can’t I. It’s been a long day. I should go to bed.