#i hope it's okay to reblog

[weirdmageddon]

some of the responses people give on this site (and on the wider internet in general) are frankly quite meanspirited which is why ive been hesitant to post more on here. i think we should be nicer to each other. im kind of tired of seeing casual bullying that we’ve seemingly decided is socially acceptable. it’s just not cool.

i’m gonna be real i fucking hate casual malice. i don’t like participating in it, it makes me feel icky. it makes me feel unsafe to be myself around anyone without hiding anything i’m self-conscious about (which is what i should be doing is conquering these social fears). it’s draining for me to be around.

it’s the last thing any of us need, for ourselves too. this is where meaningful authentic interactions is killed, and layers of irony erected to appear unaffected by anything that is poison for meaningful communication and connection thrives.

i will keep posting about this as long as it continues to bother me

[maidservant-hecubus]

My father is an Ashkenazi Jew. His parents were first generation Americans. Their parents escaped the pogroms in Russia and Ukraine and came to find their American dream. They fought in wars and opened businesses and assimilated and my generation barely has a few words of Yiddish between us. My mother is as much of a WASP as it gets. American Revolutionaries and Signers and some household name civil war feature players. Not old money, but old America and undoubtedly white. I'm patrilineal. Not a Jew to a lot of Jews. Not a Jew to a lot of my Jewish family. Even though i was raised Jewish. Even though I look like my father. Even though i got enough of something in my DNA to get asked "What are you?" more often than not. More often than I'm just accepted at face value as "white". When i was little we lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. Like the 5-10 kids in every family sort of Irish catholic neighborhood. The kids calling me a christ killer and refusing to play with me because they heard it from their parents sort of irish catholic neighborhood. For some reason my parents tried to send me to the catholic school down the street. I lasted less than a week because i didn't understand their rituals and their language and they found out my father was a Jew and they couldn't have a christ killer in their midst. I was just sad i didn't get to wear the cute plaid skirt anymore. So i went to the public school and my well meaning shiksa mother who never converted but learned the Chanukah prayers and helped cook Seder dinners came to the school to teach the class about Chanukah. She taught them songs and all the kids got dreidels and had so much fun spinning the top for chocolate coins. It was nice to feel normal. A few weeks later a boy in a higher grade attacked me on the way to the bus and smashed my art project (we had made pig noses from solo cups to celebrate reading charlotte's web) into my face and called me a filthy jew. I didn't understand, i was more upset to lose the project i was so proud of. Other things happened. Things I wont talk about because putting them in context would doxx me. But a million reminders that i wasn't one of them. I wasn't welcome because i was Jewish. My parents divorced. My mother left. Far away so I'd only see her a handful of times growing up. And I went to live with my Dad in a city that seemed like it was overflowing with Jews. Everyone knew my holidays! In public school the teachers looked like my family and had familiar sounding names. We had the high holy days off just like christmas or easter. We sang Chanukah songs in the winter recital and nobody's mom had to come teach them to the class. Finally I belonged! My friends and cousins started planning for their b mitzvah celebrations and i asked for my own. I asked to go to hebrew school so i could be more like the people i belonged with and celebrate the things i loved about myself and them. "But you're not jewish." My father would say. This was news to me. The christ killer. The filthy jew. But a 10 year old has little power over their lives. So i didn't go. I didn't have a bat mitzva while my cousins had theirs. It was okay because i still belonged more than i ever had. But i was still jewish enough to keep the holidays and pray and fast and get sent with a box of matzo to my WASP grandmothers for easter, and have matzo packed in my lunch to eat in AP algebra in 7th grade and get asked if I'm a "Yid" by the teacher. And still to this day not know if it was endearment or insult but by then I knew even in this magical city being a Jew wasn't always safe. in highschool I tried to take hebrew lessons with a friend in a similar situation as me. She was also hungry to reconnect. I don't remember why the classes or the friendship fell through, but they did. My next "friend", a goy raised catholic from another neighborhood, liked to accuse me of being money driven when i picked up a penny on the sidewalk or tried to ask who was going to pay for the zine's she wanted to publish.

 "What are you?" I'd get asked a lot on the street by curious strangers, "Where are you from?" "Are you Italian?" Always Italian. I never really understood that, but its become code in my head for "You look like you're white but something about you is very not white and I just can't place it, so Italian seems safe and polite." I'm not here to unpack the Italian part of all that. I don't even know what I'm unpacking for myself by writing this except I've been sick for days and I'm so tired and this is all that my foggy brain can wrap itself around. Later I'm an adult and on my own and getting bloodwork done. The Nurse is a black woman and so sweet to me. She can tell I'm nervous about the needles because I've already stumbled through my apologies for my herd to find veins. So she distracts me with small talk. Where do i live? I tell her. She looks worried for me. Tells me that it used to be a nice neighborhood before white people took it over and she warns me like she's my own mother to be careful because they aren't safe. I doublecheck the skin she's putting a needle into. Whatever she sees isn't white. I love her for it. For a moment I belong there with her. She doesn't ask what I am or where i'm from, but she knows what i'm not. I'm the only one keeping the holidays with my family. We celebrate Passover because I go home to my fathers and cook the dinner and print out the Haggadah and lead the Seder to the tune of my drunk catholic stepmother eating my food and telling me i'll never be a jew. She's more of a jew than I'll ever be because she grew up in a jewish neighborhood and her friends were all jews and she married a jew and i was just playing pretend. I stopped going home for holidays and they stopped observing anything except Christmas. I marry a goy. "Is he a jew?" is the first thing my father asks and he's disappointed when i say no. He's abusive, i run. I end up living in the attic of this older old money WASP couple who need a live in house sitter. They're pillars of their church and they know someone from the WASP side of my family very well and its a funny coincidence and they think i belong there. I know from their divest from Israel bumper stickers that i don't. Then they find out I consider myself Jewish and i see the light in their eyes die and its replaced by something hard and disappointed. Now, while writing this, i can laugh about being the jew in someone's attic. But then, it was only a few months after that they started coming up with excuses for why I needed to move out. I did, their excuses never manifested into reality. I got married again. A jew this time! a Jewish medical professional liek grandma always wanted. She's a convert and her ex was a rabbinical student. I think maybe i'm home finally. She has to understand. I'm not Jewish enough for her. We don't keep holidays at home because i'm not a jew. I cry every year when pesach comes and goes and i haven't recited the plagues or eaten matzo piled high with horseradish. She insists on putting up a christmas tree. She turns abusive. I run.

I'm alone now and no longer in that magic jewish city. I'm far away and surrounded by mega churches and cows and the bagels suck and people quote the bible at me like some call and response that i don't have the cheat code for and I don't belong here at all but i'm finally finally free to light my menorah and recite the plagues and study torah with the group i found here on tumblr who love and accept me even though i'm patrilineal. Oct. 7th happened a few weeks after I moved here. I worry about my family back home and i think no one will look for Jews here among the cows and mega churches, so I can be a safe place for them to run if things get bad again. But i still don't fit in here. I don't look right. The last name I have now is common here and too white for whatever people see when they look in my face. I get interrogated about it a lot. But i learned quickly how to smile and say "have a blessed day". I hide my menorah when maintenance comes to work on my apartment. I flew home last month. Just for a visit. I've never been away from home this far or this long. And I'm the type that covers nerves and anxiety with chattiness, so at the airport i made a for-now-friend while we both waited for the plane to board. She's Puerto Rican. We talk about our lives. Our families. Her twin sister and i go by the same nickname and so we're family now. We talk about food. So much food and how much we love cooking and how important food was at home. "Are you Italian?" she asks as we're stepping through the hatch into the plane. Why always Italian? I wonder for the millionth time in my life. And I freeze up for a moment between fighting my carry-on over the gap and terror that I'm about to see the light go out behind her eyes and i'll lose this for-now friend. "No," i laugh but its not a real laugh and i see the concern in her face as we squeeze through the aisle because she can hear the apprehension in my voice, "I'm Jewish." And something strange happened because her face lit up and she smiled and said "No way?! You guys have GREAT food!"

[fleetways]

Chapter 25: To Us

[felsicveins]

His heart belongs to another

And no other heart will do

[aurosoul]

processing some things.

pt 1 of idk….. we’ll see where this goes

[dailybloopy]

[thunderstomm]

Assorted A New Wish doodles (:

[sinnabum45]

Wright family 💕

[Image description: gray tone digital comic of Ace Attorney characters, Phoenix Wright and Trucy Wright. Page one: Trucy is 8 years old and she peaks into the kitchen to see Phonix slumped over the table with alcohol around him. He is crying and she watches from behind the wall. She moves away and starts crying, too. Text: “Daddy… Daddy is sad again…” Page two: Trucy looks up and clenches her fist with a determined look on her face. Text: “ I have to help Daddy become happy again! I will help daddy, then he won’t leave me!” She silently cheers with her arms up. Time passes and Trucy is fourteen. She is holding a wine bottle that Phoenix had hidden. Page three: Trucy looks at the bottle with sadness while Phoenix looks away feeling guilty. There are double boxes for the texts: “I’m sorry… I’m not good enough.” Page four: the comic is now fully colored. Time passes and Phoenix is putting his attorney’s badge onto his suit. Trucy is looking at him smiling. Phoenix turns to her and smiles back. Page five: Trucy hugs Phoenix with tears in her eyes. Phoenix hugs her back and is now crying. He says,” I’m sorry, Trucy… Daddy’s put you through a lot.” Page six: Phoenix and Trucy and smiling at each other with tears in their eyes. There are double bubbles with texts: “I love you.” End description.]

Links to help Palestine and other resources! 🇵🇸

[Plain text: Links to help Palestine and other resources! (palestine flag). End plain text.]

I have a lot of thoughts about the Wright family. Especially Trucy's experience being adopted suddenly after her father abandons her. I wanted to go into more detail about how the events in her life might have affect her, but that would've been very long-- I rarely see anyone bring it up (I could just not be seeing them of course). Her father abandoning her, then having to move in with a stranger (at first), then having to also live with and depend on Phoenix, who is struggling with his mental and physical health, and also being used by Kristoph and her adoptive dad in a way (making her turn in falsified evidence, help cheat for gambling, etc.). Also the fact that her mother disappeared and her bio dad literally getting murdered. There's so much more that happens to Trucy like-- BRUH give her a break 😭 I just feel like maybe these reasons are why she comes off like she has to shoulder a lot of responsibilities even though she is a child. She kind of takes on the parental role of scolding Phoenix when he drinks.

Of course, I don't blame Phoenix for struggling since he was also going through shit. I just also feel for Trucy as well 😢 Not every family is perfect, which is why I like how their family is portrayed! Even though they're struggling, they still know that they love each other and can depend on each other. It's still not fair to Trucy that she has to live/deal with the adults around her's mistakes and choices. I feel like she has a lot of trauma to unpack and heal from. I think that's also important to remember as well. Phoenix may not have been the best dad, but he tries and they love each other so much 😭🤲💕💕 I just love their dynamic. Especially how quick Phoenix just jumps into the father role 🥺

[bloodofgrapes]

Hey everyone. This is a photo of mine and Sock’s cat, Joansy, who went missing around three days ago. I don’t usually try to ask for help on the internet, but I decided I’d open a donation post, because we’ve been printing out flyers, posters, and signs to try to get any local assistance we can to track her down and bring her home.

I know there’s a lot of trouble going on in the world, and everyone is dealing with their own problems, so don’t feel pressured to donate to this. We’re only looking to recoup at least a little of the money spent on signs, because this was a very unexpected expense in this month’s budget. If you don’t want to, or can’t, donate, that’s totally fine, do not feel bad about it. Reblogs help, but even just casual happy vibes our way mean the world. I hope so much that we can find her soon, and I’ll keep you all posted if there’s any update on this.

[faithfromanewperspective]

genuinely i don't know how people can believe people they care about are going to hell and actually want to stay alive (personal)

just the state that religion's gotten to honestly. it reminds me of the command to 'not use gods name in vain' like i know i'm not the ultimate authority of Exactly What That Means but--justifying hatred in the name of an Actual God You Believe is Powerful and Most Likely Does Not Like Hatred??? what makes (people who do this) the authority to say definitely that God's not gonna be pissed or at least disappointed at them for that?? that God's not gonna go like 'i made this person exactly as they are and you said what and claimed it was from me?' ya know?

and like there's always the chance i'm wrong. but at what stage do you pick and choose what to believe from your god? and at what stage does said god become some construct you're making up to justify your sense of moral superiority and fears of other people having autonomy?

cause if the god you're trying to put into your made-up kinda awful box is a real, you know, God, don't you think they might be a little pissed off? dare you risk angering the gods like that??

i cannot believe that my friend not only told me that being gay is a sin but also actively thinks i'm going to hell. and also shared that she will not read sapphic books. knowing full well that i'm bi as fuck and have dated women in the past. i feel bad but i am still so incredibly fucking angry and upset with her and it's been almost a week. i think i'm going to cut her off because this isn't the first time she's been like this and idk i really thought she'd change but it looks like she ain't going to. i'm going through phases of "fuck her" and others of being super hurt and sad. i hate it, i hate homophobes, i hate biphobes, i hate transphobes, i hate bigotry in all its forms and i hate people who hide behind religion to mask their douchebag prejudices that they refuse to challenge <3

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Hugs (if you want them) for all my american moots and honestly just everyone who’s scared 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[selfinserttothestars]

I always kinda thought that Deuce was the type to very casually put an arm around someone while talking

And that Ace isn’t (bc he’s too guarded but I digress)

@ramshacklerumble hi I had the urge to draw Gia again I hope you don’t mind

[greenticklerdreams]

Hey. I know it's been hard. Why don't you lay down for me, love? Cuddle a pillow. Settle in, while I settle in straddling your hips. Let me push up your shirt and trace your back. Softly... gently... with the tips of my fingers.

Hm? Does it tickle, pretty one? Aw, I'm sorry. You don't mind, do you? ... I know you don't. And that's good, because I love hearing your soft giggles... seeing your little squirms as you try to hold still... it's very relaxing. Let me tap along your shoulder blades... draw lines down both sides of your spine at once... little flutters in the small of your back... drawing circles on those little curves on your sides that are just above your pants line.

Did my hands stray to your sides, your ribs? Oops. How did that happen? You're just so adorable when you're laughing for me, dear. But you don't mind. I'm taking care of you, and you don't need to worry about anything except my touch... and how badly it tickles.

[smokbeast]

(UPDATED) COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!

Hi hello hi! Commissions are open! if you are interested here is a google form below with all the info at hand about my commissions and workflow! If you have any questions my DMS are open to answer and talk it out, thank you so much, reblogs are extremely appreciated to spread the word as I would like this to be my main post for commissions from now on!

Busts sketches(colored/BW):20$ Fullbody sketches(colored/BW): 30$ Busts cleaned Lines(colored):30$

Fullbody cleaned Lines(colored):40$ Full Rendered illustrations:80-86$ (price range may change depending on complexity)

-an extra character counts as another illustration and will be a fee of the price doubled of what you have chosen. 

-There is an allowance of 3 revisions after the line art is complete, 

after that if you want changes, it will be a fee of 5+dollars for any additional changes after the line art has been considered approved.

-simple backgrounds are allowed for the Cleaned Flat commissions if the client so desires. 

-sketch commissions may be shaded in black and white or simple flat colors (no rendering). lineart commissions can be with or without colors if so desired.

-Illustration pieces are large entirely intricate rendered scene artworks with very detailed backgrounds and character.

-tips are optional and greatly appreciated!

[ladyohdeath]

i have something to say as well about this actually. i love female ocs. i have been writing with them since i first started on this fuckass website. i have a ship with a good friend, their female oc, that has been going on literally since i think 2014. as a community, we are awful to female ocs. i watch them get ignored, shamed, sent anonymous hate. i made a blog for a female oc many years ago and i remember deleting it after a week because the dynamics were nonexistent. i really admire anyone and everyone who has a female oc, and they deserve all of the love. please know if you have one you can always, ALWAYS write with me. ship with me too, baby!

on a similar note, i have been writing lesbians on this website for a long time. and there is a very significant difference in interactions when it comes to writing men and writing a lesbian.

the moment i put the word "lesbian" on my bio or character page, interactions drop. people do not want to write with me.

it's better now than it used to be, but still, i get male characters refusing to follow me, because we can't ship. i had an incident many years ago where i found out one of my close rp partners was sending anons to my elsa blog asking "why are you playing her as a lesbian". i've gotten anon hate for it. i've gotten bullied for it on discord and rpc spaces. i've had MULTIPLE male muses send me shipping memes, ignoring my info. once had, god forbid, a writer ask if their male character could be an "exception".

and like to consider myself a fun, flexible writer. i love all kinds of dynamics with all kinds of people. i am not here to write only ships. and yet, i know, the moment i make a new blog and write the word "lesbian" in my character info, that i WILL get less interactions than i would if they were straight.

i've come to accept it, citing both the internet and the rpc as a male-centered space, but really, i don't think i should have to accept it. i think we should have that conversation. why are we so male-centered as a community that we shut out muses who aren't interested in shipping with men?

let me add as one final note: i am eternally grateful for all the dynamics i've reached on this blog. i have many rp partners with male muses who have created interesting dynamics with me, and who love me and rio, and i really fucking appreciate that. please don't take this as a slight at anyone who i follow. so far, writing on rio's blog has probably given me the best overall experience so far in writing a lesbian muse on this website. i just think this warrants a conversation.

[trans-axolotl]

i cannot deal with the amount of intersexism/interphobia all over social media today this shit is horrific. the amount of targeted racist and interphobic comments i've seen today directed towards Imane Khelif is so fucked up. truly wish her the best, she absolutely does not deserve worldwide harassment and people debating her intersex status like this. it's so fucked