#i hope i did decently making a not-racist remake of dark pete

[titleknown]

Ey Krampus, what's the word on Zwarte Piet?

Okay, first of all, everything you know about him? Total bullshit, especially that racist-ass costume.

Y’see, everybody’s got a dark side, even somebody as jolly and as good n kid as the big guy. So, inevitably, he decided to take it out, not so much to get rid of it, as he ain’t that dumb, but rather to deal with it easier. And, that’s how we got Dark Pete.

You know you’ve done some serious shit when Santa sends out Dark Pete, it’s like the goddamn Holly Jolly nuclear option, we’ve only used him a few times and regretted it only once. And guess who has to drag him out from the goddamn nightmare-place we keep him until then, go on, guess!

Best way I can describe him is a black hole vaguely shaped like some fucked up effigy of The Big Guy made from absolute and pure nothing, colder than cold to the point where you can feel your soul chilling in your skin, and the icy, cold disappointment in that eyeless stare...