#i hope his character survives till the end of the play ;w;

[eveningearlgrey]

Silver fox hair suits him so well. And that smile!!! 😭😭😭😭

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 4, Episode 5. Doctor Who (2023) Review

Doctor Who is back! Ncuti Gatwa takes on the starring role as everyone's favourite Timelord in a new series. Ron and Mon share their spoiler-free review of the first two episodes of the new show, and discuss what we hope to see in the remainder of the season.

Listen to the episode on Spotify.

Hello and welcome to a new episode of Stereo Geeks.

Today, we're talking about Doctor Who.

I'm Ron.

And I'm Mon.

Doctor Who, 2023.

We've got a new doctor in the house.

See what I did there.

Played by Ncuti Gatwa, and his new companion, Ruby Sunday, played by Millie Gibson.

So in 2024, we're getting the full season for the new doctor.

We start with Space Babies, episode one.

This is actually the second episode of Ncuti Gatwa as the doctor in the lead.

He was introduced in The Giggle.

Let's not even try and figure out seasons, series, who's the doctor, which number.

I'm not gonna try and figure that out.

Let's just get into it.

We have watched the first two episodes of this season.

We're not gonna reveal any spoilers.

We're just gonna talk about what the episodes were kind of about, how we felt about it, if we're excited for the rest of the season.

So episode one is called Space Babies.

It starts off literally moments after the end of episode zero, which was the Christmas special called The Church on Ruby Road.

There's a theme of babies, which obviously isn't the most interesting for us, but it makes sense because both Ruby and the Doctor are orphans.

This Doctor, I would say, number 15, I believe, is his number.

He remembers a lot more about his life, and I'm wondering if that's because he was split from 14.

13 spent her first few episodes getting her bearings, but 15 is in full flow.

Yeah, Ncuti Gatwa, he's really taken to this role.

He's a very young Doctor as well, but I think he is delightful.

He's so charming, so energetic.

He has this huge smile and two very big hearts.

Well, not him, the Doctor.

Absolutely.

Ncuti Gatwa is very charming.

He's very fun.

And he's playing this Doctor as a kind of free spirit, somebody who's enjoying a life with no strings attached.

So let's get into the episode.

It's kind of Doctor Who-ish, so it's a bit weird.

Honestly, for us, we grew up on Star Trek.

So Doctor Who was not something that we understood that well till we sort of fell upon it on TV one time.

We've definitely got into a little bit more thanks to 13.

And now we're a little bit more invested with 15.

This show has never been subtle, but this particular episode, Space Babies, I feel like it really hits you on the head with some real world issues.

It drops these notes in, in sort of a sarcastic aside, but they're unmissable.

It's kind of obvious that at least this new version of the show is definitely trying to send a message.

Yeah, it addresses a couple of real world issues.

I mean, the big one is genocide and the lasting impact on those who survive.

The doctor may be happy-go-lucky, but he's using that to hide this tremendous loss.

And I feel like this episode definitely touches on the revealing of Roe vs.

Wade in the US.

There's a short but poignant discussion about humanity's insistence on birthing babies.

It has absolutely no interest in taking care of.

And also what happens to those people when they're growing up?

Because one of the things that this episode leans into quite a lot, I would say it's a running theme throughout the episode, is uniqueness.

It's not a problem to be different.

At least that's what this episode is positing.

This isn't a new theme in any pop culture, but it hits differently and more poignantly when it's coming from a character who looks like Gatwa.

I mean, if the doctor wants you to regenerate into a big purple blob, nobody would complain.

But because he's a queer black man, it's like a big deal.

What I will say, and I don't know how you feel about this, I found that the episode was kind of gross.

And while it was just alluded to and not shown, so like we weren't like gagging all over the place, but that for me undermined the strength of the episodic themes.

Yeah, it definitely gets a bit gross at times, and I struggle with that very easily, but I think they wanted to bring in a lot of humor because there were some heavy elements, but I think I could have done without it.

I would say that this episode sets up the chemistry between the Doctor and Ruby quite well.

We got obviously quite a bit of that in the Christmas special, but you can really see them as a time traveling pair.

And I would say that the chemistry in this episode is even stronger than in the episode zero.

I don't know how to feel about Ruby and the Doctor because with shorter seasons, where it's like eight, maybe max 10 episodes, and we already know about the changes that are coming up in this show, it's really hard for me to become invested in the Doctor and Ruby's relationship.

What is obvious is that they're really building up the mystery surrounding Ruby's history.

And I'm curious to find out more about that, as well as what impact it has on the Doctor.

Yeah, good point.

They've laid the groundwork for a lot of that history.

And they also do have a few moments with Ruby's mom and grandma.

I hope that we get to see more of them, because they seem like a lovely family.

And like with 13, every time we got to see, yeah, this family, it just felt like a built up universe.

It's always the supporting characters that sort of give more gravitas to who your main characters are.

And as you said, builds up the world, but builds up their world, helps us become even more invested and interested in them.

So I agree with you.

I would love to see more of her mom and her grandmom.

So moving on to the second episode, The Devil's God.

Now this tritone that is the name of the episode got me excited.

Now in this episode, the Doctor and Ruby travel to the 60s.

They get to play dress up.

It's kind of fun to see them try on 60s fashion.

I honestly feel like 13 and her crew didn't get to do that much.

They didn't travel within Earth.

They traveled mostly to other planets.

And in any case, 13 always wore her t-shirt and jacket anyway.

We should probably make a note about why we're talking about 13 a lot, because we didn't watch Doctor Who regularly until 13 came on the scene, and then suddenly we were just like, we were watching her every week.

We couldn't wait.

Jodie Whittaker's Doctor was very fun.

We were obviously excited because there was a woman in the role.

So yeah, now we're kind of just going along with the ride.

I also think with Jodie Whittaker's Doctor, they tried to do something different with some of the stories, not all, obviously.

And I think that's why we ended up tuning in a lot more.

It was a little bit more inclusive and diverse.

I feel like that's also there with Ncuti Gatwa's Doctor, especially in this episode, which is in the 60s.

I know in the past and on a lot of other shows, if you went back to 1960s England everybody would be white, but they specifically have some extras who are people of color.

So I like that.

This episode, The Devil's Code, is very Doctor Who like.

It's silly, it's campy, it has time travel and very high stakes.

It's like as Doctor Who as you can get.

This episode was my jam.

Wow, that's high praise.

I think one of the reasons why this episode really works is because of Jinx Monsoon, who is the guest star for this episode.

She is very cool.

She really knows how to steal the scene without being cringey.

Well, Jinx Monsoon is a drag performer.

She plays Maestro.

In real life, from what I can see, she goes by she her pronouns, but Maestro uses they them pronouns.

Monsoon is a RuPaul's Drag Race winner and a Broadway star.

So pretty heavy hitter.

No wonder she's just seamlessly stealing the scene in this episode.

So if it's not obvious by now, this episode is about music.

And episodes around music or the arts, they're always very interesting.

Now, I am curious to know how you felt because I think the writing here didn't explore the direct or even the indirect impacts of music on changing the world as much as it should have.

It's definitely hinted at, but it was very, very plot heavy.

And I think that for me, felt like it missed the plot.

Very interesting point.

I thought it was a great sci-fi concept.

So the essence of the plot is that humanity has thrived this long, primarily on the power of music.

I like that the arts are being spotlighted in an episode like this, in a profiteer like this.

Science fiction, you know, it usually discusses the importance of science, exploration, morality.

Well, what about the arts and culture?

We're seeing AI being used as a shortcut to make art, and music, and create stories.

Now is as good a time as any to center human artistry.

I think if this episode had been maybe a two-parter, we could have really leaned into that.

Because you're right, it doesn't examine the impact that music has had on history and the way we are right now.

See, you've brought in a good point here.

AI, especially generative AI, and how it's being used as a shortcut, as you said, to get into arts and culture.

That's a plot point that I really feel like Doctor Who, of all shows, could have easily segued to, and probably done it in a very blunt fashion and still got it to work.

I will say that probably at the time that this episode was being made, generative AI's impact on art was probably not being felt as strongly as it is right now in 2024.

So maybe that's why they didn't lean into that, but honestly, somebody's gotta talk about it.

True, true.

I liked Maestro as a villain.

Thoughts?

I loved Maestro.

In all honesty, I was a bit worried at first.

Another campy, queer villain after Toymaker, played by Neil Patrick Harris, he was phenomenal.

He was having a great time.

I really enjoyed watching him.

So I felt like, oh, is Maestro just doing the same thing?

But it works within the context of the story.

And in all honesty, Monsoon is having such a ball, I can't possibly begrudge her anything.

I will say, I feel like aside from the Christmas special, this show isn't yet really leaning into 15s queerness.

Queer coded villains, they've been a mainstay of friction.

Most Disney properties have had such villains.

And now, remember, Doctor Who is on Disney+.

So we need more queer heroes to balance that out.

Ncuti Gatwa is an out queer actor.

I'm not saying every episode has to be about how he's queer and beautiful, but maybe I wouldn't mind.

No, I agree with you.

I kept wondering while I was watching these two episodes, what's missing, what's missing?

And it really is a case of them dumbing down that aspect of his character.

I guess we can speculate why they don't want to alienate the current fans, you know, the long time fans, but I don't think that's correct.

It's not like they're ignoring the whole queer spectrum.

They do hint at that and they talk about it, but why not with the doctor himself?

Well, let's be honest, with 13, there was a golden opportunity and they just flubbed that.

I hope they don't do that with Ncuti’s as well.

I am very interested to see where this season is going to go with the doctor because he's shared a lot of feelings about his past.

When we were watching 13, again, we haven't seen much before that, so everything we know is from 13.

She learned so many horrible truths about her life and that so much of her existence had been hidden from her.

Is 15 going to be engaging with those?

He's already made a few references now about the losses that he suffered and that he's lived through, he's survived, he's the only Timelord left.

That's a huge burden to deal with.

I'm hoping that this season has some resolution planned for him because if somebody in the very first two episodes has shared such deep sorrow and then he immediately tries to laugh it off, something's going on here.

Well, it's also a little bit weird that we keep seeing the doctor running scared.

We've seen him do that two episodes in a row.

Listen, I'm all for, especially male characters, being vulnerable, being human, being realistic.

But the question is, why is it that the first black doctor is this vulnerable?

Again, most of our references come from 13 onwards.

But whatever we've seen, it's not like we've never seen a single Doctor Who episode before 13, but you know, they're always like kind of macho-ish in some ways.

You know, this is really different.

Yeah, 15 is scared.

He's run from danger twice, and you know, if he's doing it because he's trying to protect Ruby, that's, you know, something that we've seen before.

But I'm beginning to wonder, like, the fact that he didn't regenerate into 15, he was split in half from 14.

Has that made him more attuned to emotions?

Do Timelords have similar emotions to humans?

Is there something bigger at play here that makes him want to run away from danger?

In all honesty, I think this doctor is depressed, y'all.

I kinda agree with you on that.

So I don't know about you, I feel like Millie Gibson was a bit too giggly in this episode.

That took me out, honestly.

I know some actors do the giggle and bouncy thing where they don't know what to do.

I'm really surprised that they kept so many of those moments in the actual episode.

Yeah, honestly, this episode was not Ruby's best.

She got short shrift in the climax, for sure.

She did have one really amazing scene, and she gives us the context for why she's doing a particular thing, and I was just like, oh, I feel this in my heart, but then it doesn't go anywhere.

Yeah, this episode, as fun as it is, it's a bit all over the place, because I'm not sure about that denouement either.

I felt like it was leading up to something, but then the episode kind of just ended, which also kind of undermines the message of the denouement.

Very confused here.

I was wondering whether it was because this episode is about just 50 minutes, and I was comparing it to The Giggle, which was an hour.

They had 10 extra minutes to really lean into the resolution.

I don't think we got that with this one.

Having said that, I did really enjoy this episode, the period costumes, the theme.

This is the kind of science fiction I want to see more of.

I agree with you, and I also feel like not all science fiction, especially science fiction, has to be serious.

But I guess I just want something more out of whatever I'm watching.

If it's an oblique reference, if it's a direct reference, I just needed to say something so that we come away feeling like there's a way to make things better, or that other people who want to watch this world burn will watch something like this and change their minds.

I guess I'm just asking Art to do exactly what this episode tells us Art can do.

Change the world.

But we are looking forward to the rest of the season.

We are looking forward to seeing more of Ncuti.

I don't know what direction Ruby is going to go in this, but I don't care.

I'm quite happy to join this Doctor Who ride.

Hope you'll all join it with us.

Ron: You can find us on Twitter @Stereo_Geeks. Or send us an email stereogeekspodcast@gmail.com. We hope you enjoyed this episode. And see you next week!

Mon: The Stereo Geeks logo was created using Canva. The music for our podcast comes courtesy Audionautix.

[rivashi]

oversized jacket

synopsis: reacting to their crush wearing another guy’s jacket w/ a TWIST

characters: matsukawa issei, hanamaki tahahiro (ft. kyoutani kentarou & gn!reader)

genre(s): fluff, slight angst, a pinch of crack, jealously, friends to lovers, accidental confessions(?), mutual pinning, college!au | headcanons

cw: swearing, slight manga spoilers if you squint, mentions of bullying, implied toxic masculinity, so-called “nice guy”, mentions of stalker-ish behavior, extremely long, & vvv self indulgent cuz i was emo when i wrote this <3

note: this was inspired from this <3 also, this hcs was supposed to include oikawa and iwaizumi but i had to cut them out. i hope you like it e n way <3

note 2: this is reposted from my old (soon-to-be deactivated) blog: @/levinneheart

Matsukawa Issei

He went to his last class early and was surprised to see you were already there, sitting in your usual chair

This was a first, usually he would be the first to arrived in the classroom and you would arrived after him with snacks in your arms

“I need snacks to survive this long day, you’re welcome to have some.” You’d say to him and you were absolutely right

You and your snacks made him get through the day without a pounding head and a growling stomach as he went home

You were working diligently on something while occasionally popping a cheese-flavored popcorn onto your mouth

He assumed you were working on your assignments in advance for subjects he didn’t have as it was your routine

He clears his throat, catching your attention and making you looked at his direction as he greeted you with a small smile

You were practically beaming, eyes lighting up at the sight of him as you greeted him back cheerfully, seemingly in a good mood

He took his usual seat beside you and you immediately laid your head on his shoulder, sighing in content

He didn’t mind your gesture if it weren’t for the pounding on his heart but he was surprised you hadn’t noticed it yet

To him, you were so out of his league – so kind, so generous, so everything of his ideal type and pretty to look in the eyes too

The way that you two wordlessly and unconsciously leaned in for each other’s touch – absolutely no highs

Just the comfortable silence of enjoying one another’s presences that he longs in relationships

This feeling scared him – terrified him, even. Since he never felt anything like this for anyone before

Little did he know, it was your way of conveying to him with your love language and that the feeling is mutual

It wasn’t long before class started and not long till it ends. The clouds were starting to get grey and dark. Seems like that it’s starting to raining too. You usually like this kind of weather if it wasn’t such a hassle to get home. It’s getting cold too, you thought as you rubbed your hands together and snuggled subconsciously against Mattsun for warmth.

Matsukawa, on the other hand, held the urge to slip his arm onto your waist and pull you closer to him, the urge to press you firmly to his broad chest and bury his face onto your shoulder. His fingers twitched at the thought but he shook the feelings away before poking you once as he excused himself to you before softly nudging you off him to retreat to the restroom.

When he arrived, he deeply sighed with a fist clutching his chest to desperately trying to calm his accelerating heartbeats. He told— more like convinced himself that he will confess after class but you being so close to him was making it harder to remember his memorized lines. He could still remember how you smelt like, the scent of your shampoo mixed in with your favorite perfume.

It was driving him mad at how good you smell. He splashed his face with water from the sink before staring at himself, trying to focus before chuckling to himself. He looks ridiculous right now, his face slightly damped and eyes glaring at nothing but his reflection. He’ll be fine, even if you reject him – he could just play it cool and say it was a joke.

Yeah, right. He thought. That’s just mean.

When he comes back, his seat was occupied by a fellow male student, laughing with you. This would had been fine as you were quite approachable yet he couldn’t help himself but to eye on the unfamiliar jacket you were currently wearing. You didn’t wore the clothing earlier and it looked too big for you to own it.

His mind was racing with the thought of you wearing another guy’s jacket other than his and his feelings were all over the place; mixture of anger, disappointment, and heartbroken. You never told him you were taken and you never really specify that you didn’t like him so he knew he had a chance.

He firmly grabbed your shoulders and glared daggers at the man before he stood up from his chair, cowering away while you turned around to face him with a frown. “What was that for? He was getting to the best part of his joke.”

“I don’t like him and his jacket on you so take it off.”

“What? No, this isn’t his—”

“I’ll exchanged it for mine.” he cuts off.

“No thanks, Sei. What’s this all about anyway—”

“Please, yn. Don’t make me—”

“No is no, Sei. Besides—”

“I like you. Can you now please wear my jacket?”

You stayed silent for a second, stunned at his sudden confession and jealousy over a piece of clothing. “I like you too but this is actually my jacket.”

“…”

“…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, right?”

“Nope, I tried telling you.” You grinned at him, poking his sides as his eyes widened in realization.

“Oh…” He trails off. “Wait! Did you just say you like me?” This made you chuckle, it made you want to play with him just a little.

“Did I?” You say, teasingly.

He groaned in response. “Although, I must say: you look adorable, being all jealous over my oversized jacket.” He palms his face and that makes you chuckle even more as you grin at him. “My jealous boyfriend.”

Oh god— he doesn’t care anymore and he wouldn’t have it any other way as long as you keep tell him you’re his.

Hanamaki Takahiro

You and Hanamaki met in elementary school and immediately became friends all the way till highschool

Back then, he was smaller than you and got bullied because of his pinkish-brown locks, causing him to be subconscious of it

But you told him otherwise so you protected him and fought against many of his bullies in elementary

During in middle school and highschool though, he grew more taller and confident on his hair because of you

You didn’t had to protect him anymore so you settled on cheering and supporting him from the bleachers during his games

His team would welcome you warmly so it wasn’t a surprise to them that you grew on them, along with Kyoutani

He even developed a soft spot for you, causing you to call him: Kyou without any honorifics since you two had grown close

At first Hanamaki was ok with it, you’d love making new friends to bond with, but at the same time he was envious

Back then he was your only friend and now, your attention was everywhere but him and you two were seeing each other less

You tend to stick with Kyoutani these past few days, ever since the two of you became classmates and seatmates

And he was gonna graduate soon, leaving you behind to focus on your studies and club activities to be able to graduate

That thought saddened him, he doesn’t want to be apart from you and yet he also doesn’t want to chain you down

Hanamaki has now graduated and is working nearby Aoba Johsai, sometimes you’d go in there to buy snacks on your way home or to shelter yourself from the hot breeze of summer air and into the cool temperature of the grocery store.

Either way, he was just happy to see you in one of his jobs and sometimes catching up with you about your life and vise versa. You, however, went there to escape your persistent admirer who just can’t seem to understand why you would say no to him.

It was turning into your safe haven where you can relax and breathe without worrying about him watching your every movement. And today wasn’t one of those moments, you’ve had a sinking feeling on your gut so you stayed close to Kyoutani and asking him to walk with you home.

“Just to be safe, Kyou.” You say as you clinged tightly onto his arm. He grumbled in annoyance but didn’t protest against it, instead he let you gingerly drag him to the usual grocery store where Hanamaki worked. Not knowing that your unwanted admirer was following the two of you.

The sounds of bells ringing alerted Hanamaki of of new customers. “Welcome to— oh, hey Kyoutani and y/n.” He says with a smile, grateful to see familiar faces inside the empty store as usually around this time of night was less busy than in the morning and afternoon.

“I’m going to the restroom, yell when you need me.” Kyoutani informed to you, squeezing your arm before gently prying away from your grasp. You nodded with a smile and leaving you alone with Hanamaki. You stood there still, occasionally fidgeting as you looked around anxiously.

“What’s wrong?” He couldn’t help but asked.

“I—” You were cut off but the entrance’s bells ringing and you instantly stiffened at the presence of the newcomer.

“There you are, (l/n). You’re so hard to keep track of. You’re lucky that I’m such a nice guy, going out of my way to do this. And it’s all for you.”

Hanamaki noticed you slightly trembling from the corner of his eyes and as he was about to say something, he was interrupted by a cough from none other than Kyoutani. “Who the fucking hell do you think you are?” He asks, almost growling.

“Her admirer.” The self proclaimed nice guy proudly said.

Kyoutani scoffed before turning to you. “Is this creep bothering you, (n/n)?” He asks, draping a jacket he was holding over your shoulders.

Your admirer look between you two. “I don’t believe you would date someone like this, (l/n). You can do better by dating me.”

“Actually,” Hanamaki spoke up. “they can date whoever they want as long as it’s not you. Now, go before I call the police for suspected illegal activities.” He warned with venom laced in his tone while crossing his arms over his chest.

The boy huffed. “You’re not that pretty anyway!” He hollered at you as he stormed out like a kid throwing a tantrum.

You released a heavy sigh of relief before thanking Kyoutani and Hanamaki multiple times for helping you finally get rib of that guy.

“No problem, (y/n). He was just jealous you two look cute together.” Hanamaki teased, hiding his pain of the thought of you being taken.

“We’re not dating.” You chuckled as Kyoutani grunted in agreement.

“And the jacket?”

“It’s mine, I told him to hold it for me.”

“Oh.” He paused for a second before laughing out loud. “I assumed you two were dating since the two of you are pretty close.”

“Well, yeah. Didn’t Mattsun-senpai tell you that we’re cousins?”

“…”

“…”

“Nope, he didn’t tell me anything.” That jerk. He cursed.

“Were you jealous of Kyou, Makki-senpai?” You teased with a smirk.

Fuck it. This was his last chance. “Yeah, I was! Now, I’m all embarrassed and stupid because I used to like you.” He rambles while you look at Kyou and he shrugs before leaving the store.

“Why didn’t you confess before?”

“You know why!”

“And it only took my oversized jacket to make you confess to me? You’re unbelievable.” You shook your head in disbelief. “I liked you too, idiot!”

“Oh… WAIT, WHAT?!”

[proxylynn]

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #27

Chapter 27: Burden

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[A quick recap]

My melancholy blinds me to my current surroundings. I only come out of it once a spotlight hits me.

"The hell...?"

Things look funny. No doubt it's a setup by Mettaton. But I'm unsure what this act is. I mean, it looks like a receptionist's waiting room. A desk and some random chairs.

"GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTS...!"

Mettaton zips in wearing a red suit and shoves me in a chair as he takes center stage.

"FIRST AND FOREMOST, WE HERE AT MTTTV WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LACK OF ME OVER THE COURSE OF THE PROGRAM. DUE TO THE LACK PREP WORK WITH MY COSTAR HERE, WE SADLY HAD TO FORGO A THRILLING ACT BACK IN LEVEL TWO INVOLVING HUNDREDS OF EXPLOSIVES!!"

I so freaking called it. I should let him have his moment...Nah!

"I thought you said that act was shit anyway?"

He extends an arm to cover my mouth.

"FORGIVE HER. SHE'S LOST A LOT OF BLOOD AND NOT ALL THERE MENTALLY."

I leer at him flatly.

"BUT...DARLING HERE IS GOING TO MAKE AMENDS WITH US ALL RIGHT NOW. IT'S TIME TO ANSWER SOME BURNING QUESTIONS."

I'm so confused as he lets go and leaps onto the desk, posing dramatically.

"IT'S TIME FOR..."

A large neon sign shaped like him drops from the ceiling.

"BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL WITH A KILLER ROBOT! THE LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOSTED BY YOURS TRULY."

Huh. Not a bad title.

"I thought you were working on a courtroom trial program?"

He scoots to now sit behind the desk.

"UNFORTUNATELY, WHILE I DO HAVE THE FUNDS, I DON'T HAVE AVAILABLE WORKERS TO MAKE SUCH A SET. SO...WE'RE DOING THIS INSTEAD."

"Heh...Must be hard to meet your expectations."

"DARLING, YOU HAVE NO IDEA."

A tense dramatic score plays.

"SO, DARLING...ARE YOU READY TO TELL ME EVERYTHING?"

Ah. I see now. Fine, Metta, have it your way. Just be careful what you wish for. You may not like it. Now don't get me wrong. I know my limits. I'm not about to tell him EVERYTHING. I'm not that stupid. But if he wants truth, he's going to get a version that's missing some characters and other junk.

"As you wish. You wanna know the truth? You want to scar the entire Underground? Sure. Why not. What else do I have to lose at this point since you exposed me? So congratulations! I hope you like the prize you've been longing to get. Because I sure as hell don't."

Let the show commence.

[Now our featured presentation]

"RIIIIGHT...ANYWAY...WHY NOT INTRODUCE YOURSELF. LET THE UNDERGROUND KNOW JUST A BIT ABOUT YOU."

I wave with a stupid grin to where I think a camera is.

"Howdy, monsters of the Underground. My name is Lynsie. Last I checked, I'm 5'8'', twenty eights years old, born November 7th, am a Scorpio, blood type A+, and enjoy long naps by the beach."

Am I introducing myself or recording a dumb dating profile video?

Mettaton whips out some cards from his desk.

"REALLY? YOU'RE THAT OLD? HUH."

"Yeah. Why?"

"YOU LOOK OLDER THAN THAT."

I sneer.

"It's the raccoon eyes. Insomnia is a hell of a slap to the face."

"THAT ASIDE...HOW ARE YOU FEELING? YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT SINCE THIS PROGRAM STARTED."

"I'm grateful to have this reprieve. It's nice to not be flung into fight after fight for a moment. I don't like fighting. I'd much rather avoid any conflict if able."

"SUCH A KIND GIRL. ARE ALL HUMANS THESE DAYS LIKE YOU?"

I eye him funny.

"WHAT?"

"Do mean 'kind' or 'stupid'? Because every monster has called me a fool for being nice."

"STUPID IS A STRONG WORD. NAIVE IS MORE LIKE IT."

I rumble lowly in my seat.

"But...To answer you properly, no. Not all humans are like me. Or...I'm not like most humans."

"OOOOH~, SUCH AN AMBIGUOUS ANSWER. FINE THEN, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE THAT, I'LL HAVE TO BE MORE BLUNT IN MY QUESTIONS. LET'S SEE..."

He flips through some of his cards.

"OH! HERE'S ONE...HOW DID YOU COME TO FIND YOURSELF IN THE UNDERGROUND?"

Blunt? I'll give you blunt.

"Easy. I tried to kill myself."

[SNOWDIN: Skeleton House in present time]

The mood in the room sours as the human continues.

"Yep. You see, Mt. Ebott has a reputation, a legend dating back lord knows how long, that those who climb the mountain never return. This has made it a popular place to die. Not as bad as the literal 'Suicide Forest' of Japan, but it does the job okay."

Mettaton's screen blacks out.

"Don't give me that look. You wanted this. You wanted the truth. So take it. Take the blunt no holds bar truth of the matter. And you know what else? It wasn't the first time either. I can think of at least five other attempts. Each more pathetic than the last. But, if memory serves me right, I do believe my very first try was when I was still so very small. Somewhere around age six to eight. I had learned that apple seeds contain cyanide, a very toxic poison. Of course, there's not a heck of a lot in a single seed, but if you ingest a lot...well...Kid me didn't know how many were needed. Just that it was deadly. As you can see, I didn't have enough and I didn't try that form of suicide again. I don't try the same kind twice. I'm too fearful of messing things up the second time. What if it only partly works and I end up surviving? Heh...Trying to end it all only to live but in even worse condition? The irony would be such a hilarious joke. Then again, that's my life in a nutshell. One big cruel unrelenting joke."

Toriel's eyes water. She knew her child had her demons, but she knew not just how far back they spawned. Mettaton's screen relights.

"I...I WASN'T EXPECTING..."

"Yeah, no one does. No one expects me to be so dark. But what can I say? I do a damn good job hiding it."

"BUT...WHY THOUGH? WHAT WOULD MAKE A CHILD THAT BENT ON KILLING THEMSELVES?"

She takes a deep breath and lounges back in her chair.

"You ever feel guilty for something? Something you have no idea why you should feel that way for but you just do?"

She runs her hands over her face.

"I don't remember why I asked her that question. Maybe I was just morbidly curious. I knew my siblings were unexpected pregnancies. The eldest never came to be, so whether it was a boy or girl is forever unknown. My brother came about in the randomness of my mom hooking up with my dad. She married my dad because, well, she did like him but also so that he wouldn't be deported once his school visa ran out. He and his family escaped their homeland to start a new life...but did so illegally. Even on the surface, there's no true freedom. Four years into the marriage, I was born. Things only seemed to spiral from there. Dad would stay out drinking. Mom would be pissed. Bro and I would hide in my room and try to keep the fighting out. Mom gave up on him, someone else charmed her heart and would later be the father of my sister. Eight years into this world and they divorce and months later sis is born. She was unknown and with how old mom was at the time, she now suffers from spontaneous seizures."

The girl looks up in thought.

"So a few years ago, I asked mom...Was I unplanned like they were? Was I another surprise baby?"

She looks back down, her face holding a more cold expression.

"No, she told me. You were the only planned one. ...I should've stopped there. *sigh* I then asked...Why? She answered..."

Emotion leaves her.

"We had you in the hopes that you'd fix our marriage."

Silence. Dead silence.

"So much pressure. And to put that on a babe? How was I supposed to solve your problems? How is it my fault you couldn't stand each other when things got rough?! How is a kid supposed to make sure you don't start taking drugs and acquire sixteen felonies?! How is it my job to make sure you don't regret loving someone else?! How is that fair?! Why not take some fucking responsibility for once in your god damn life?!"

She becomes irate, grabbing one of the chairs and beating it into another one till both are useless before ending with a guttural roar that pains the throat in its harshness.

Toriel recalls similar words from her not long after they became close and she found her.

"Child? You're trembling. Is everything all right? Child, please. Just speak to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"I hate you! I hate all of you! You fucking pieces of shit! Why?! Why is it so hard for any of you to care?! I've been missing for days or weeks and none of you care! *sobs* Did you ever love me?! Why did you even bother having me if you don't even care that I'm gone?! *bawling* Why? Why? Someone tell me why...please..."

"I know this isn't the most pleasant of times to ask...But since we've come to know more about each other, I have been curious about something. The humans that fall down here...They tend to not fall down for the happiest of reasons. If it is not too painful...Can you share with me your reason? What made you come to a cursed mountain where none ever return from?"

"*hard sniffling* They used to care. I used to know what it was like to know others cared. I can't remember when they started to pull away. When I became invisible. I just want to know why. Was it something I did? Did I do something wrong? Did I not make them proud? I thought I did everything right. I was a good girl. *voice cracking* I'm a good girl. Aren't I?"

Even Grillby had memories of such talk pop into his head.

"You are an amazing person. You live in his cold place and open this bar to every sad face willing to cast aside their mean spirits for spirits of another kind. You put up with a lot of nonsense, a good bit came from me today, and I'm sorry about that."

"Where is all this coming from?"

"I'm not done. You have been nothing but nice to me. And doing that isn't easy in this world we live in. Since meeting you, you've shown me more kindness than I got from my own family, and this is only our second meeting. Heh, how pathetic is that? I fell into the Underground trying to die, only to end up wanting to live because of the few that showed me any decency. And for that, I give you my thanks."

"Pussycat?"

"I don't know if it was the punch or I'm just in a weird mood. I'm probably making things awkward. No one wants to hear someone ramble about lame junk when at a bar. This is a place people go to forget things. I know I've got a lot I want to forget. Like the three or four times I ran away from home but never had a plan and always had the cops take me back. Or the time I cussed out my grandma because I thought she lost my dog when it turned out my mom had dumped the pup at a shelter and told me it escaped. Or the suicide attempts..."

"Attempts?"

"Oh yeah, there was more than one. Hard to believe, but I'm a very sad person. No, that's being too nice. Depressed is more accurate. 90% of the smiles you see me do are fake. Just part of the mask I wear to hide how truly miserable I really am."

"God, I hate myself. I'm a sad pathetic mess."

Sans now gets a clearer picture of the baggage weighing on her.

"oh! and don't forget, you're making dinner. pap only let that slide because you were practically dead. so don't get any ideas thinking you can get out of it."

"Did you just really say that?!"

"the hell is your problem?"

"Did you really just insinuate she'd harm herself?"

"i dunno...maybe?"

"You can't say that kind of stuff to her!"

"why not?"

"You...You don't know how she came to the Underground, do you?"

"she told me that she fell."

"I'm not comfortable telling you this, seeing as she hasn't and I don't think it's my place, but I can't let you say idiotic things like that."

"okay, weed, you have intrigued me. if she didn't fall, then how did she get here?"

"Well...Falling is how she came to the Underground. But...She didn't fall from an accident."

"you're telling me she..."

"She fell on purpose. She...was trying to die. I don't know about her life on the surface. She doesn't tell anyone about that stuff, not even Mom. But I have been with her since the start and I can tell...Under all that toughness and pass the goofy dork innards...She's very sad deep down."

And that moment that recently happened at Grilbby's.

"enough with the act! you act all calm, with your little quips and remarks. making you look so well put together. but i know better. i know you're just as messed up as the rest of us. so why don't you get off your high horse and get out of my life!"

"You're right. This is an act. Every day, I wake up and I pretend to be this way. To play this role of the girl that never gives in and can smile through it all. I put on my mask and face this world as best that I can. But inside I'm dying. I'm being crushed by insecurities, doubt, depression, and so much negativity that I let myself fall into a pit hoping for the sweet embrace of death. I have attempted to end my life a good handful of times. Each more pathetic than the last. Even now, I'm just a few triggers shy of crumbling into a blubbering mass of tears. Yet there are few things that keep me from doing those bad things now that I'm here. And if putting on this act keeps me in, relative, ease...Then yeah. I'm gonna pretend my ass off that all is fine with me. Because I'm a fucking moron that is too afraid to open up to those closest to me and ask for help!"

Papyrus, of course, takes all this in as vital information he could use against the human. Her emotional and mental instability can be used to manipulate her. Grooming her to be more obedient to his will.

"I'm sorry."

"DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE SORRY."

"No...I mean, I'm sorry for earlier. It was wrong for me to hit you. You just...*sigh* How do I say this without sound like a dweeb?"

"JUST...SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. DON'T ALTER YOUR WORDS. THEY LOSE IMPACT THAT WAY."

"If that's true, then don't make a big deal out of this."

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I am an emotional wreck and going through so much internal bullshit that it ain't funny. So know that the stupid things I'm about to say are true because this is making me feel very vulnerable and uncomfortable which I think you feel too."

By now the human was breathing heavily over the shattered remains of once recognizable objects, slowly regaining her composure. She stares at the mess for some time. Mettaton doesn't even try to do anything that could get her attention while in such a state. Eventually, she drops the bits in her hands and takes a seat in the chair she spared. Slumping in remorse and holding her face.

"I'm sorry. That...That was shameful. I'll pay you back for the damage."

"DO YOU NEED A MOMENT?"

She rubs her eyes of faint moisture.

"N-No...No. I'm fine. That...That was just a moment of venting weakness. I normally cry this crap out of my system. But...I'm so sick of crying. Yet...That felt good though. So much pent-up bullshit I don't or can't let out was just dropped like weights off my back. ...Does this count as therapy? Because this feels better than that child physiologist mom sent me to after I ran away...the first time."

"SOUND LIKE YOU DON'T CARE FOR YOUR PARENTS."

"You'd think that, but no. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. They could've been far worse even with the flaws I've mentioned. Dad never missed work and made sure bills could be paid. Mom always made sure we could eat even if it meant she didn't and often broke the law to do so."

Her head lolls back as she lounges.

"It's easier to dwell in the negatives than the positives growing up. It can make for a bitter soul. This is just the tip of a massive iceberg, there is so much more crap hidden below. But now is neither the time nor place to dive deeper into those murky waters. I'll drown if I stay under too long. *sigh* I don't hate them for the life they brought me into. I'm just...disappointed. Disappointed by the choices they made and things they expected to get from them. Disappointed in myself for allowing all that to have so much of a hold on me. Disappointed...So very disappointed...*long drawn out groan* Could we please leave the personal questions for now?"

"VERY WELL."

He flips through the cards.

"YOU'VE BEEN IN THE UNDERGROUND FOR SOME TIME NOW. HOW HAS THAT BEEN? WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE A HUMAN AMONG MONSTERS?"

This gets their attention. The human knows better than to tell all. But she's so far been extremely open. They hoped she was of sound mind enough to remember to keep some secrets.

"Even after all the attempted murder...I prefer monsters to humans. Because at least once the fighting is over, things can be somewhat normal. It's like 'hey, I know I just tried to kill you, but do you wanna maybe hang out for a bit?' and then that happens. It blows my mind how there's no animosity or spite afterward. After Humans fight with each other there's no calm, no peace of it being over, hell, a war might break out if it was bad enough. You never know how bad someone feels after and if the grudge they carry will make them go to extreme measures to make them feel better. Well...Except for the Irish. Those lads can tussle and then be all chummy after like it was a bonding experience. Nice folk. Always fancied them. Heh...Kinda like Monsters. A tough outside but nice inside. Maybe that's one of the reasons they were persecuted too. ...God, my kind is trash. All it knows is hate. We even hate ourselves. And one day...That hate will be the end of us."

She moves some hair from her face. A small smile coming to her.

"Moments like this...It's nice. Brief pauses of reflection and repose. Typically I end up doing this kind of thing in my head or I talk to myself. Funny how that works, the mind I mean. It is a self-aware entity in itself that can be both you and not you at the same time yet won't confuse itself by doing so. Probably why the imagination is such vital part of it. *pause* Heh...My bad. Lost myself for a moment. Back on point...Sure, this all began with you nearly killing me and it's probably just leading up to something else. Something good or bad. Yet till that happens...This is nice."

"SPEAKING OF NICE...YOUR LV HASN'T GONE UP FROM ITS BASE LEVEL. WE'VE SEEN YOU GO INTO FIGHTS, SO IT'S NOT THAT YOU'VE AVOIDED THEM COMPLETELY."

"As I've said...I don't like fighting."

"YOU MUST BE AWARE THAT PACIFISUM IS NOT A RECOMMENDED OR AN EASY THING TO DO IN THE UNDERGROUND. IS IT HARD BEING NICE FOR YOU DOWN HERE?"

"Is it hard for a fish to swim or bird to fly? Nice is my default. I don't have it in me to be genuinely mean. I can be rude or even a bitch, but that's only if that was how I was treated first. The real hard part about it is getting others to understand this niceness is real. Some pick it up with no trouble. But others are difficult. Going so far as to think I'm trying to lull them into a false sense of safety as part of an evil human trap. Can you believe that?"

Sans eyes Papyrus who rolls his sockets at his brother, both knowing damn well she meant him.

"EVEN SO, HAS THERE BEEN A TIME WHERE YOU WANTED TO FIGHT BACK? SURELY EVEN I PROBABLY INCURRED SOME IRE FROM YOU?"

She looks at the mechanical machination with a mix of confusion and annoyance.

"Ire is a strong word. True, I'm not happy about this situation. Exposing me for ratings. One of your goons bashing me over the head. The creepy stalking behavior by watching me through cameras. The needless puzzles and fighting. All of it wasn't necessary."

"I DISAGREE. EVERY BIT WAS COMPLETELY NECESSARY."

"Bull crap."

"NOW NOW, LET ME EXPLAIN. REGARDLESS OF YOUR INTENTIONS, YOU HAVE TO AGREE THAT YOU BEING HUMAN DOES CALL FOR CERTAIN MEASURES TO BE TAKEN. HUMANS DEAL PHYSICAL DAMAGE AND MONSTERS ARE WEAK TO SUCH ATTACKS."

"I know that. Get to your point, Metta."

"MY POINT? VERY WELL. MY DATABASE CONTAINS THE COLLECTED INFORMATION WE'VE GATHERED FROM THE PREVIOUS HUMANS THAT CAME BEFORE YOU. EACH WEAKER AND WEAKER AS TIME PASSED. YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE BEEN DISPLAYING STRANGE ABILITIES..."

A monitor comes down, displaying the human in her earlier distress and giving off that strange energy.

"NOT TO MENTION YOUR SOUL HAS BEEN CHANGING IT'S COLOR WITHOUT MAGIC INFLUENCE."

The monitor shows the many different colors her soul was throughout the show.

"SO, DARLING, AS YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING HAS BEEN COMPLETELY NECESSARY. EVERY LITTLE OBSTACLE ALLOWED FOR MORE OF YOUR UNKNOWNS TO BE REVEALED. HOWEVER..."

The monitor goes back up.

"I GET THE FEELING YOU'RE STILL HIDING SOMETHING."

She glares at the robot.

"I repeat, this wasn't necessary. All you needed to do was ask."

She sits up straight and focuses. Her soul emerges...it is a deep dull blue.

"I don't know everything. Seeing as this whole 'soul' thing isn't known on the surface anymore. To use now, the soul is an intangible thing. It leaves when we die and does whatever since no one truly knows what happens after death. But...I do know my soul isn't normal. Not normal from what I've learned here anyway. I possess ten traits for which my soul can become."

Shock smacks them. Even Mettaton spits oil from some port.

"T-TEN?!"

She nods.

"Ten traits. Ten colors. Nine of which are completely fine."

Her breathing falters as she concentrates harder, forcing the soul to change color to her will.

"Blue, integrity. Cyan, patience. Green, kindness. Pink, passion. Purple, perseverance. Orange, bravery. Red, determination. Yellow, justice. White, hope. ...These are my main traits. The nine that make up my core personality. Yet...There is one, the last one, that I will not show you. No matter what."

A question mark appears on Mettaton's screen. Toriel and Sans know full well which one she means.

"WON'T SHOW? HOW COME?"

"That soul is too dangerous. One that I can't control. The black soul of relentlessness."

Papyrus sockets widen. Sans wasn't making it up after all.

"IF YOU TRULY EXPECT ME TO BUY INTO THIS BLACK SOUL NONSENSE THAN YOU BETTER FIND A WAY TO PROVE TO ME THAT IT'S REAL!"

"and how do you expect me to do that? have it triggered and let her kill half the town?"

"OF COURSE NOT! SHE'D NEVER GET THAT FAR INTO SUCH A SPREE ONCE I SLAY HER."

"YOU DON'T THINK I CAN KILL HER?"

"her? sure, you'd kill her no problem. she'd probably let you do it if things got really bad. but the black soul? that's a different story all together."

"YOU TALK AS THOUGH YOU'VE SEEN THIS 'BLACK SOUL' IN ACTION."

"..."

"YOU HAVE, HAVEN'T YOU?"

"that thing isn't something you want to mess with. don't go after something you can't handle."

"YOU DARE THINK THAT PITIFUL CREATURE CAN HARM ME?!"

"no! i don't think it would harm you! i know it would kill you!"

"I have no will over that trait. It consumes me utterly. Coldly targeting anything and everything as a threat, then calculatingly eliminating victims brutally with no remorse by any means. Pain doesn't phase it. It has no fear. But I do. I fear this soul. I fear becoming that...that thing. That beast."

The robot's screen blips.

"YOU MAKE IT SOUND TERRIBLE. IF IT'S AS BAD AS YOU SAY, HOW HASN'T YOUR LV INCREASED? SURELY A MURDEROUS SOUL LIKE THAT WOULD HAVE A BODY COUNT ATTACHED TO IT?"

"I have thankfully been taken out of that state when it happens. My brother down here, the flower you may have seen me with, he's the one that saves me. I don't know how he does it as I only barely register what happens when the Black Soul is in control. But it's one of the reasons why we stay together. He doesn't want to die and I don't want to hurt anyone, so it's a good deal for us both."

"AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS SUCH A STATE TO HAPPEN?"

"I'm not 100% sure but I have a theory. The worst of times. Moments when I lose all hope or can't take the pain. Mentally and/or physically. It takes over when I can't deal with things. And I guess it tries to 'solve' the problem...by getting rid of it."

Her demeanor is becoming more unsettled as she continues.

"I...I normally am unwilling to share this information. I don't like being personal with strangers. But since this is a live broadcast, and I've basically torn open a can of worms full of my emo baggage, I want this to be known. I need others to understand the danger. Because you all seem to view me as an easy kill. The dumb nice human that doesn't fight back. It'll be easy to get her soul. Hell, if it weren't for the black trait, I'd have given this thing to you guys ages ago. But it's not worth it. There's no point going to the surface, otherwise I'd be more inclined to leave and be subjected to the crap I deal with. And trust me...You don't want to know what I deal with."

Her eyes get dark and her expression serious to the point it's unnerving.

"The death that can possibly happen if the black soul activates and isn't stopped could be limitless. As the bearer of this curse, I remain here. Not because I see less harm if it triggers around monster, hell no. I trust my death to you because I have faith in monster kind being able to handle it. It's because I don't want to risk it being weaponized by humanity. Magic...REAL magic like this is gone from the surface. If it were to be discovered now...Magic will be coveted like any other valuable resource. Blood and dust will be spilled over ownership. The experiments to find a better means of harvesting it, the torture, the suffering, the endless cycle of hate feeding upon the lack of morality. I have no doubt monsters wouldn't even be seen as people. We've done it to different creeds of humanity throughout history, hell we still do it. I...I don't want that for Monsters. Part of me is saying I'm overthinking it, but I can't that optimistic side of me knowing all the fucked up shit Humans do. I don't want you guys to suffer. I don't want to cause harm. I don't want to see any more death! Please!!"

Her eyes are watering and her body trembling.

"I...I-I hate this feeling. This h-helplessness. I'm caged. I'm useless. I'm nothing on the surface. I'm a danger underground. I'm my own worst enemy and I don't know how to fight. *struggling* Why? Why didn't the fall kill me? Why can't I just die? Why am I so weak? I can't even bleed to death!"

She's a mess, weeping into her gloved hands. But Mettaton dismisses this display and keeps going.

"WEAK? YOU SELL YOURSELF SHORT. CLAWING INTO YOUR OWN BODY ISN'T A VERY WEAK THING AT ALL. COME TO THINK OF IT...IN YOUR ENCOUNTER WITH MUFFET, YOU TOLD HER WHY YOU DID IT. CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOU MEANT?"

A recording is played.

["I have just spent an ungodly amount of time trapped in that elevator over there having my soul violated by people that don't even exist anymore on this plane of reality. I have clawed my skin off to stop feeling their hands on me."]

Her face has the look of someone biting their tongue fairly hard to stay in control.

"What's to explain? I meant what I said and said what I meant."

"YOU'RE AVOIDING THE QUESTION, DARLING."

"No. You're refusing the answer."

"YOU SAID YOU'D TELL THE TRUTH!"

"I am!"

Agitation mounts.

"BULLSHIT! HOW THE HELL CAN ANYONE BELIEVE THAT?"

"I don't give a crap if you believe me or not! You weren't the one there!"

"JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!"

"It doesn't matter! You can't do anything about it! No one can! You can't stop people that break the laws of reality!"

Sans didn't like what he was hearing. And none of them liked that her still exposed soul was sparking with that strange energy.

"THERE ARE NO PEOPLE LIKE THAT!"

"How would you know?!"

"IF EVEN A FLY FARTS ANYWHERE IN THE UNDERGROUND, I KNOW ABOUT IT. IF ANYONE WITH ABILITIES LIKE THAT WERE HERE, THEY WOULDN'T BE UNKNOWN FOR VERY LONG."

"Did you not hear my words? They don't even exist anymore on this plane of reality! You can't find people that are outside time and space, you fucking idiot!"

"I'M THE IDIOT?! DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF?! OUTSIDE TIME AND SPACE?! YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE A CONVINCING LIE!"

"I'm not lying, you insufferable ego-maniacal narcissistic jackass!"

"TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!!"

"I did! Accept the fact there is shit in life you can't fathom or comprehend yet is true! Like Bigfoot, life on other planets, or stigmata! Unexplained phenomenons are the backbones of reality! Deal with it!"

"THAT'S NOT AN UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENON! THAT'S A PURE IMPROBABLE IMMPOSSIBLITY!"

"By who's rule?! Are you God?! Do you know every infallible law the universe runs on?! No! You know nothing! No one does! So stop digging for shit that isn't there before something bad happens!"

"THEN GIVE ME A REAL ANSWER!"

"Stop...Please stop!"

"DARLING..."

"I s̷ái͟d͝ s̷t̢̛o̧͘p̀͟!̵̕͜!̧"

A surge of energy bursts from her soul, the flash whites out the screen and hurts the eyes. While blinded they all can hear the garbled sounds of pain and the sudden thud of weight hitting the floor. Their sight comes back to see the human writhing on the ground and gripping her soul, teeth bared in restrained growling.

"DARLING?"

She struggles to make her body move. Just slightly getting her head off the floor.

"Th͜i͞s͠...͜T́h̴i̵s̸ ̛įs ̕y̕our ̛f́aul͝t͏..̢.̴I͜ ͟a͡ske͝d ͠y̕o͏u t̷o͜ ͜s̛top..̢.̵"

The energy courses from her soul over her form, a brighter than normal light emanates from her clutched soul. She weakly pulls herself up to be supported by her free arm and the reason for the light is made clear, a crack has marred her soul. But that is far from the worst part. Sans spots it before Toriel but she's the one that points it out.

"Oh no!"

"What's wrong?"

"The darkness!"

Indeed. Black began to appear in the human's heart. The darkness corrupting the white light and faintly leaking out of the crack. The girl feels this. Panic flashes in her eyes but she's in no condition to handle so much on top of what has already happened.

"Wh̸en̢ wil̡l҉ ̛yo͡u̶ le͘ar͜n.͞..̡Y͘ou ̴fuc̀kín͜g id̴iot.̸..W͢hén wil̡l yoų ́a̶l̢l͜ léar͘n that͏ ̵y͘our act̵i҉o͞ns ͏ha͡v̛e ͘co͡n̴seq͘uenc͘e̶s͘?͘!"

The distortion. The off tone. The malice that seeped out. Perhaps it was enough proof for the automaton to believe her earlier words. For Mettaton seems to be distracted one second and then takes it all seriously the next. One of his hands snakes under his desk and the next thing to happen is the floor beneath the human opens up, dropping her into the unknown. Glitched roaring echoes as she plummets. A sickening crash leads into dead silence.

"WELL...THAT WAS INTERESTING."

His nonchalance about the whole thing is upsetting.

"SADLY, MY CO-STAR SEEMS TO BE HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE. NOT EVERYONE CAN HANDLE THE STRESS OF BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT, LIKE MOI."

His flamboyance is rubbing them the wrong way.

"HOWEVER, DESPITE HER TEMPER TANTRUM AND LACK OF COOPERATION, I WILL ASSURE YOU ALL SHE IS NOT DEAD. I MERELY GAVE HER THE SMALL BREAK THAT SHE CLEARLY NEEDED."

It's likely that the break involved her bones or some body part.

"BUT...I CAN GIVE YOU ALL SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO...THIS WAS THE LAST PRELEWD ACT. THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE US TOGETHER, IT WILL BE FOR THE MAIN EVENT. THE FINAL BATTLE APPROACHES, MY ENCOURAGABLE VIEWERS. DO NOT MISS OUT ON THIS HISTORICAL MAKE OR BREAK MOMENT."

The show shifts into a commercial break.

Toriel begins shaking. She can't deal with this much longer. Grillby does what he can to give her support, but he too has much on his mind. His pussycat unloaded a TON of things and a lot of it was incredibly concerning. Papyrus ushers his brother away from the other two as not to be overheard.

"SO...HOW LONG?"

Sans looks at him funny.

"uh...what?"

"HOW LONG WERE THE BOTH OF YOU GOING TO HIDE THIS PART OF THE SECRET FROM ME?"

"um...which part?"

"THAT POWER. SHE HAS TEN TRAITS, SANS. JUST HOW STRONG IS THAT GIRL?"

Sans scratches his skull.

"i honestly don't know, pap. i didn't even know she had that many. my main worry was always the black trait, so i never asked about others."

Papyrus folds his arms and shuts his eyes in thought.

"i swear, i ain't lying to ya."

"I KNOW YOU'RE NOT."

"then...what's wrong?"

"*HUFF* I DON'T LIKE THIS. I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF THAT WEAKLING BEING POWERFUL."

His eyes open but look at nothing.

"I SHOULD'VE KNOWN SOMETHING WAS OFF THAT NIGHT...THAT PUNCH...SHE WAS HOLDING BACK SO MUCH..."

Papyrus clenches his fists into tight balls of rage.

"THAT BITCH."

"ya know she didn't want to hurt ya."

"THAT'S THE THING. SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD HURT ME. HOW WEAK DOES SHE THINK I AM? THAT'S WHAT'S PISSING ME OFF MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW."

Sans sighs. One day his brother will taste humble pie and not like it.

[HOTLAND: LAB]

Undyne finishes off her sixth bowel of ramen and looks at Alphys.

"Well...That wasn't how I thought it was going to end. Was it really necessary to tell him to drop her?"

Alphys takes a few more notes and ponders.

"Would you rather there be no main event? Besides..."

She adjusts her glasses.

"If what the human said is true, then the Black Soul being triggered in an open area would result in mass casualties. The zone in which the ending will be shot in is, for the most part, closed and under my remote control. So even in the event of something going wrong, which the odds of such are highly unlikely, then any and all threats can be dealt with in an optimum manner."

Undyne nods.

"I guess that makes sense. Still...I don't what I saw. There was real fear in the human's eyes."

"Good. She should be afraid. She should be very afraid of what's to come."

"And what's that?"

"That would be spoilers."

"Damn it. *sigh* A human soul with ten traits...Sounds tough. I wanna fight it!"

"It does raise a lot of questions. One, in particular, is on my mind."

"What's that?"

"If a human soul, deprived of magic, possesses ten traits and begins gaining magic...What will happen when it attains 100% magic?"

A cold chill runs through the captain.

[HOTLAND: SOMEWHERE ON LEVEL 3]

I am getting so sick of this crap. Why can't I just die at this point?

"*muffled* Lynsie?"

The voice and light jostling is bringing me back to consciousness. Damn it. Here I go again.

My eyes weakly open to the sight of dirt and rock. Just an inch away from losing the ability to see. Like I need a handicap in all this.

"Lynsie? Are you okay?"

Ah, Flowey. It's about time we met back up.

"*groan* H-Hey, bro. I missed you."

He smiles sadly.

"Are you okay? Can you move?"

I roll over on my back and check myself.

[HP ██████████ 10/40]

[HEARTBREAK level ONE in effect]

I figured that's what happened. No wonder the Black Soul was triggering. Thank goodness for the fall knocking my ass out or things would've gone bad fast.

"I think I'll be okay. Sore, but okay. I'm sadly getting used to falling and possible brain damage."

My answer has him pout.

"What's with the face, bro? You know I'm a tough cookie. I'll be fine."

His face gets full of concern.

"I...I heard what you told Mettaton."

Yeah, you and the rest of the Underground.

"I...I understand now why you didn't talk about your past. Why you kept to yourself. I'm sorry."

God, he's too sweet for this place. I reach over and gently stroke his petals.

"I love you, bro. You have no idea how much it means to me that you care. But don't pity me. I do that enough on my own."

I wearily sit up, shaking my head of all that baggage I brought up for the show.

"I wasn't pitying you. It's just..."

He fiddles with his leaves in a shy way but I cut his words off.

"Bro, I get it. I do. It's the same feeling like when you told me your history. Yet, let's be honest here, you're more mentally mature than me and I'm still not completely okay after getting all that off my chest. We can talk more about it later after this ordeal is over. Maybe over mom's cheesecake? Deal?"

"...You mean it?"

"Yeah. I promise."

He smiles brightly.

"Okay. I'd like that."

I pick myself up and stretch, taking a look around at where we are.

"Don't tell me he dropped me back at the start."

"Nope. This is still Level Three. In fact...I do believe MTT Resort is just past this place."

"...For real? Is it a safe space?"

"Yep. There are shops and rooms to rest."

I hear a heavenly choir sing in my head.

"Finally! The universe throws me a decent bone!"

I regret saying that the moment it leaves my mouth. Flowey looks at me funny.

"Don't take that out of context, you know what I meant."

"I don't know. You and Smiley Trashbag are eerily close."

My eye twitches. Things I wish Gaster didn't show me try to pop into my head.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to puke."

"Never insinuate something like that ever again."

He shakes his head at me. I try to change the subject before I have a heart attack on camera.

"So...Are you able to follow me to the resort? I'm sick of being separated."

"There's ground outside of it and parts I can reach beyond it, but the resort itself I can't get in without some sort of aid like a pot. Cement and tile flooring is a pain to break into."

"Damn, bro, you hella strong."

There's a deactivated reversed conveyor belt that's attached to the artificial platforms.

"Is it safe to cross? It's kinda giving me 'trap' vibes."

"You should be fine. This is normally the part where the colored tiles would be used again, but you know, stuff changed. It's probably off."

"Ah. Gotcha. I guess...See ya soon?"

"You bet."

He ducks into the ground so I take it as my time to leave this pit. The entire time I feel on edge. With my luck, the trap will turn on and I get screwed. Thankfully nothing happens apart from some jets of flame randomly going off in the distance and making me jump like a wuss. At least it got me to the stairs quicker.

After a quite the climb, I reach the top perturbed yet undaunted as a four-way crossroads greets me, though the two paths on the sides are blocked. More Royal Guards, a cat to the left and some kind of insect on the right, both in that imposing armor.

"Well if it isn't my best customer..."

The Ice Scream rabbit pops up from behind the cart I wasn't paying attention to.

"Fancy seeing you again."

As odd as seeing him here is, he's a familiar face that is a sight for my sore eyes. I approach.

"Hey, guy, what's up? Haven't been seeing you much in Snowdin Forest for a bit."

He leans on the cart like a cool guy.

"Yeah...Been moving around seeing if I can make mad gold somewhere where the weather isn't the same temp as my product."

"Any luck?"

"Waterfall wasn't so bad. Even started a new program with rewards cards. Turn in a card with ten punches and get a free doubling of your next order. Speaking of which..."

He reaches into his pants pocket and hands me a punch card. Some holes have already been made.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had the funds to get this far. So...Instead of starting your card full, I may have added your previous buys. Can't say I haven't gotten better at my wonderful salesmanship."

I can't help but smile. He's come a long way. I'm proud of him.

"Well then, wonderful salesman, I'd like to add some more holes please."

"Heh...sure. But I'm warning you, prices have gone up. 25G. Got to charge more here 'cause of the heat."

"Understood, my dude. Um...Just curious...Got fudge pops? Kinda have this hankering for something chocolate."

He shakes his head.

"Sold out. The Royal Guards bought those like crazy."

"Damn. Oh well. One blue, orange, grape, and blood. All bisicles."

He fills my order and I pay the 100G.

"Here you go. All five ready to enjoy."

I look at him funny.

"Five?"

"Yep. Five. I definitely didn't toss in a strawberry one because of customer loyalty. Nope. Didn't do it."

Must...resist...the urge...to HUG!!

"...Thank you. That...That means a lot."

He gives me a wink and I practically skip away up another set of stairs. I place the treats in my inventory for now. I know not what crap will happen from here, so healing items are a big help.

I am met by a large complex. Redbrick that's been tagged with graffiti, yellow-tinted windows with some broken, a gold MTT sign with two Mettaton images with devil horns, a black & white checkered awning over the door, two large plant potters that have dry withered flower remnants, and a blood-red or just stained that way rug embroidered with gold MTTs.

"Classy."

I'm about to head inside when something hits my leg. A paper airplane? I inspect it to find it's a note.

[Hey! Go up the creepy alleyway on the right for some great deals!]

"...I'm gonna get mugged, aren't I?"

It's against my better judgment, but this is a neutral zone, so I should be okay. I wearily creep around, following spray-painted arrows, to end up finding two girls gossiping among garbage. They notice me and straighten up.

"Hey! Check it out!"

"Yeah! Check it out!"

"So, like, what's up? I'm Bratty, and this is my best friend, Catty."

"I'm Catty, and this is my best friend, Bratty."

Oh no...More valley speak!?! Why is that a thing down here?!

Bratty is a tall, green alligator or crocodile monster that wears a primarily black shawl with yellow and red details on the sides. She has yellow hair that flows into curls and red lipstick.

Catty is a plump purple cat creature who wears a set of black overalls with yellow buttons and tufts of red fur with yellow highlighted tips coming out from under it on either side. She has black hair with a red streak in it and a yellow earring on her left ear.

"Uh...Hi? So...This is a shop?"

"Like, the best shop!"

"You should buy ALL our stuff!"

Catty gets this blanket out and opens it out to show me their items. They don't have much, just four things, but I can't turn away from these items.

[25G - Junk Food - Has a big bite out of it]

[350G - Rusty Revolver - Bullets NOT included]

[350G - Tattered Western Hat - ATTACK up when worn]

[600G - Mystery Key - Probably to someone's house LOL]

A gun...How the fuck is that here?

"Oooh! I know that look!"

"That's the look of some wanting something!"

"Bratty! We're gonna be rich!"

"Where did you find this stuff?"

"I mean, like, where does anyone get guns, or food, or..."

"We found it in the garbage!"

I so called it.

"It's GOOD garbage."

"It's like, really good garbage."

"Where do you get the garbage?"

"Like, the garbage store, duh!!! ...Waterfall mostly."

"I found a gun in a dumpster!"

I check my gold...I don't have anywhere close to 1,300G for their garbage.

"Um...Maybe we could work out some sort of arrangement?"

They glare.

"That's poor talk."

"You need WAY more money."

What I need is to get that stuff away from them. That stuff is bad enough with humans, I don't want monsters messing with crap like guns.

"Ladies, I'm sure there's something we can do. Shops run on trade. This is just a trade of a different kind. I can't give you the gold, but I can get you other things. There's gotta something you'd both want that I can fetch for you in exchange?"

They mull it over.

"Thanks, but we, like, don't really need anything."

"Oh my god, can you go get us some Dazzleburgers?"

"We don't. Really need. Anything."

"Wait! I'll pay you 1000G if you get Mettaton to autograph my butt!"

Catty seems to be the easier one here. Maybe I can work with this.

"While I do know the guy, I'm not sure I can get Metta to sign your butt."

"Damn."

"Wait...You know Mettaton?!"

Their eyes sparkle.

"...Yes?"

They squeal with fanatical glee.

"Oh my God. Mettaton."

"Oh my GOD, METTATON."

"He's like...My robot husband."

"Actually he's like...MY robot husband."

"I think we're like...both going to marry him."

"We're both like, ALREADY married to him. He just, like, doesn't know it yet."

They're insane.

"Okay...Can I ask what's a Razzburger? I could try to get that."

Their eyes widen in shock.

"You don't know what a Dazzleburger is?"

"Do you, like, live under a rock?"

Don't we all do since this is a mountain?

"Dazzleburgers are epic!"

"They're only sold in the resort."

Interesting.

"Inside huh? Let me guess...Very pricey."

Bratty nods.

"The stuff inside, is like..."

"TOTALLY wicked expensive."

"But, like, this stuff we found is like..."

"TOTALLY wicked cheap."

"You should..."

"Like..."

"TOTALLY wicked buy all of it?"

"Cheap? You're selling a random key for 600G!"

They giggle at me and I sigh. Bitches, man...bitches.

"So where inside am I gettin' them?"

"The MTT-Brand Burger Emporium."

"You have to get them from Bugerpants."

That name...That name brings back memories...as well as sore spots. Douche-cat...

"Burgerpants."

"Yeah, that guy from the store. Yuck, what a creep."

"Yeah! He's a creep! But he's kind of cute, too..."

"C'mon Catty, don't you have ANY standards?"

"Nope!!!"

...You need standers, Catty.

"Yeah, I met him. Not so much a creep but he is a massive prick."

"OK, like, the annoying thing is..."

"He'd be OK if he just treated us with some respect."

"But he just acts..."

"Really weird."

"And then acts like it's OUR fault he acts that way!"

"Like, when we asked him to get those Dazzleburgers..."

"He dropped them and ran away before we could even say anything!"

"We were, like, going to share them."

"Really? I wasn't."

"Catty!"

This zone is full of awful people.

"One last thing...How many you want?"

Catty waves her paws.

"So many! Enough to fill a dumpster!"

"The mega value pack should cover us."

I give Bratty a thumbs up and leave their shady establishment. Now I enter the main building and this time I'm greeted by someone for once. It's either very diamond-like or very origami-like, but above all, it's a tiny monster.

"Welcome to MTT Resort - Hotland's biggest apartment-building-turned-hotel! Whether you're here for a night or still live here, MTT Resort prides itself on a great stay! Just passing through...? Nice! MTT Resort prides itself on being passed through!"

"Interesting business model. Does it work?"

"Oh, indeed it does, human."

"You know what I am?"

"Oh yes! The staff has been informed of your coming and instructed on how to handle you upon arrival."

Oh god, what now?

"Over on your left, we have a dine-in restaurant complete with a stage which hosts a wide cast of live acts. Either comedy done by locals or Mettaton entertains when he isn't too busy."

"Neat."

"If you're feeling like you hate yourself, behind me is the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Dazzleburger!"

Well, they know how fast food works.

"All further questions can be taken to my coworker behind the desk."

I scratch my head and shrug.

"Thanks."

I walk away and head for the other receptionist. It's not a bad-looking lobby at least. Red & yellow checkered tiles and the rug from outside continues forward into parts unknown. The obnoxious fountain of Mettaton is gaudy though. I reach the desk and the monster behind it is a weird one. It's blue and its head is a hand with very well manicured red nails.

"Yes, we know. The elevator music volume is super loud and the song is stuck on a three-second loop. We are working on it. Because of this incident, rooms are running at a special rate! 200G a room. Interested?"

Someone sounds grumpy.

"No thank you. I was told to come to you. I'm the human if that helps."

Their head fingers extend in alert.

"Oh! Sorry. I was instructed to inform you on where to go next."

"That would be helpful, yes."

It motions to where the rug is heading.

"If you follow the rug there, you'll be lead out back to the entrance of the CORE. Mettaton will be waiting for you at the top."

"Could I use the elevator instead? All this travel is exhausting."

"No can do. The elevator leads to the Capital and main residence of our people. You're not allowed to go there."

"Oh...That's fine. I didn't want to go there. Just trying to take shortcuts if able."

"*ahem* If you require a small rest, might I suggest renting a room?"

"I don't the gold, sorry."

"That's fine. Mettaton has pre-paid a room for you. One time only."

I'm stunned. Damn him! Why does he confuse me so much?! I want to like and hate him at the same time!

"Um...In that case, sure. Where are rooms?"

They motion again.

"Down the hall to the right."

I wait for them to give me a key or card but nothing is there except awkwardness.

"Is there a problem?"

"No...not really. But...uh...Isn't this the part you give me a room key?"

"What? Room...Key? No, we don't do that. If you leave your room, you'll have to pay again."

So if I enter I can't leave or else I'll have to pay? That's insane!

"On second thought, maybe later."

"Shame. Do let us know if you change your mind. Have a sparkular day!"

I'm getting the feeling they're being nice because they were told to be. Otherwise, I doubt I'd be given such a warm welcome. Oh well. Time to pay a certain someone a visit.

I stroll up to the emporium and find myself paused. I can go about this in many ways. The different choices and outcomes play out in my head super fast. After a few, I settle on something...something that'll leave an impression. I push the doors open. A digital bell sounds. I look at what appears to be a sadder version of McDonald's. And like a mindless corporate drone, he speaks while moping the floor before seeing "who" just walked in.

"Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Dazzleburger. Sparkle up your day (TM)."

He begins to turn around.

"What can I do to..."

His eyes widen seeing me, grinning sadistically at him like a lunatic.

"Uh...help?"

This hurts my throat to do, but it really sells this whole thing. I deepen my voice to imitate Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget and just laugh. He is unnerved to say the least.

"*menacing* No one will help you."

"H-Hey now...Don't think of doing anything funny."

I walk up to him and he backs away slowly before leaping behind the counter.

"Stay back! You can't hurt anyone in shops!"

I keep the deep voice.

"*menacing* Hurt you? Foolish boy...Why would I do that? It's not like you put a cigarette out on my wrist and bashed my head with a bat!"

That last part was done a bit too harsh and I end coughing. All seriousness leaves.

"*coughs* Nah, man...*normal* I ain't gonna do anything. For reals. I was just messing with ya."

He eyes me funny.

"Riiiiiight...What do you want then?"

"Preferably, my phone."

He flinches, his eyes looking quickly down then darting back up.

"I..."

"Metta doesn't have to know."

"What do you mean he won't know?! He knows everything that goes on here!"

"Look, you either give me my phone, or I'm gonna go back there and take it."

"You're not seri..."

My dead stare shuts him up. He seems to freeze up now. I sneer and put my hand out. He looks at my hand and then starts sweating. I'm beginning to lose my patience.

"You have five seconds."

His fur stands on end and he suddenly slams his face on the countertop, giving himself a bloody nose.

"Sorry, (Ha ha) it's against the rules to talk to customers who haven't bought anything. And talking with you this long has put me in serious shit. If you want this 'exchange' to continue, you're going to make a purchase."

I'm not happy.

"...What do you have?"

[60G - Sorebet - Very popular food.]

[120G - Dazzleburger - Very popular food.]

[300G - Mythical Villain - Anti-Hero Sandwich. ATTACK UP in battle.]

[500G - Biltong Slab designed to look like Mettaton - Don't ask. Please.]

I huff through my nose and shell out the 60G.

"That Sorebet better come with my phone."

"Yeah yeah. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"Fuck you. I wear boxers."

He eyes me with a blush before heading into the back. Might as well chat him up while I can.

"So...Do you know the chicks behind the building?"

"Huh? Oh...Them. Yeah, I know them. What of it?"

"They were talking about you."

"The girls were...Talking about me...?"

Hooked him.

"They mentioned you threw burgers at them and ran."

"Bullshit! That is not what happened."

He comes back to the counter with a glass of frozen dessert and my phone.

"Care to enlighten me?"

He sighs and lights a cigarette. I wonder if he can do that while on shift?

"Never interact with attractive people. Unless you're 'one of them', they're just gonna take advantage of you. Those two chicks asked me to sneak them some Dazzleburgers. And I, the naive teenager that I was, said yes to them. Bad idea."

"What happened?"

He takes a dag and lifts the collar of his uniform shirt open, blowing the smoke in there.

"Does that really keep the smoke from spreading?"

"It's worked so far. *puff* So I went out to the alley to see those two ladies, and uh...you know, see what'd happen next."

"Like...Naughty stuff?"

"...Maybe."

"Nice."

He blushes.

"Anyway...Then my boss comes out of nowhere, sees me, and demands to know what I was doing. I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets tumbled out onto the ground. Not wanting to lose face to the girls, I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was bending down, the weight of the remaining hamburgers...*puff*...caused my pants to fall down."

He expected me to mock him. But I can't feel anything more than pity for the guy. This surprises him and he continues his story.

"Then the girls laughed at me. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now. It's gotten to the point I can't remember my name half of the time. It's even on my name tag for fuck's sake!"

Poor douche cat.

"I think you're the first to not laugh at me or that story."

"Why would I laugh? That's...That's messed up, man."

He takes another drag.

"You know something...I misjudged you, human. I know it ain't much, but, I'm sorry for being an ass."

I rub the back of my head.

"I'll be honest, guy...Since the bar thing, I've seen you only as a prick. The idea of you having hard times and lashing out didn't cross my mind at all. That's my bad right there. Sorry on my part for being a bitch."

He smirks.

"So...You're really not going to tell Mettaton about this?"

He hands me my phone.

"Dude, this stays between us. Besides, he's kinda been pissing me off lately."

"Yeah, he does that."

He takes a deep drag before putting the cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe.

"Can I give you some advice? I'm getting on in years, so take it from me...You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life. I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever. But wait! There's one thing that keeps me going! If ASGORE gets just one more SOUL, we'll finally get to go to the surface! It'll be a brand new world! There's gotta be a second chance out there for me! For everyone!"

"Maybe. So, what did you want to do before this?"

"Oh...I wanted to be an ACTOR."

"Neat."

"When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton. Well, be careful what you wish for! God, look what that idiot has done here. This place is a labyrinth of bad choices. And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says that's not how they do it on the surface. Oh! Right! Humans are always eating hamburgers made of RHINESTONES AND GLITTER."

"...I can assure you we don't eat that. Eating that would be very bad for our health. Maybe even fatal. Monsters don't really eat that...Do they?"

His eyes shift and I facepalm.

"And you guys think I'm gonna hurt ya?"

"You should probably get going. The boss will get his gears in a bunch if you take too long getting to the CORE."

"Fine."

I put the Sorebet in my inventory and remember my awkward side-quest.

"Oh! Before I bounce, can you help me with something?"

He tilts his head.

"What?"

"The chicks, Bratty and Catty, they have items I want but don't have the crazy amount of gold. They say they'll trade for a mega value pack. Any way you might be able to help make this trade happen?"

He sighs.

"Really? Do you know how much that is?"

"1300G close? Because that's how much I need."

"...What kind of shit are they selling that's worth that much?!"

I goofily shrug. He groans and rubs his face.

"I can't just give you that much for free."

"Catty thinks your cute."

"...For real?"

I nod. He fidgets, fingers tip-tapping and pitter-pattering.

"Okay, I'll tell you what...You score me a hook up with her and I'll give you the burgers."

Damn you rule of three in side-quests!

"Argh...I guess I can try. It won't be the weirdest thing I do today but it is on the list though."

His eyes light up with excitement. I can't mess this up now. How often does he actually smile like this?

"Thank you! *ahem* I mean...Cool."

I slink out of the emporium and head for the exit.

"Um, excuse me, human...The CORE is the other way."

I groan.

"I know. I'll be back."

Exit building, go into the creepy alley, and meet the girls again.

"Look who's back."

"Do you have the Dazzleburgers?"

I show my empty hands.

"Ha! I knew she'd blow it."

"Sucks to be you!"

"Hold up. He'll give me the goods. But..."

"But...?"

"Catty...Do you really think he's cute? 'Cause he thinks you're hot."

Catty's face flushes. Bratty rolls her eyes.

"For reals? He wants a date?"

"A date? A hangout? A simple meeting while he's working? I don't know. For all I know she can walk in, say hi, and that's it. All I need is confirmation and you get all those shiny burgers."

"Yes!"

"Catty...?"

"What a deal! A cute guy and free food! It's the score of a lifetime!"

"Catty, he's a loser. You hang out with him once, then he wants to hang out... All. The. Time."

"But don't you feel bad for him, Bratty? Poor Burgerpants...Think about how cool we are compared to him!!! We'd be saving his LIFE with our awesomeness!! His LIFE, Bratty!!"

"Uh, so?"

"Think of all the Dazzleburgers he could get for us!!"

And just like that, I feel like shit for doing this.

"...So is he free after work?"

"*huff* I'll be back...again."

Leave the alley, enter the building, meet up with Burgerpants.

"I don't like the look you have there. Did she say no?"

I can't lie to this guy.

"Dude, I'm really uncomfortable with this."

"What's wrong?"

"She said yes. But..."

"She said YES?!"

"I mean, she agreed, but please listen..."

"Ha! Ahahaha!! Yes!!! You've brought a tear to the eye of this old man."

I feel so bad.

"Dude, please...I'm, like, 100% sure she's gonna use you for free food and maybe gold."

"...So?"

I'm taken back.

"Look, you don't think I didn't think of that? I know she's probably going to use me. Everyone does. If it's for the food, I don't care. That's just another way I can stick it to my boss. Speaking of..."

He plops this cardboard case down on the counter.

"A deal's a deal. The mega value pack for the girl."

...Okay, they're made for each other. Everyone here is trash!

"So, uh, what time did she say she wanted to hang out?"

I hate everything about this!!

"I'll be back again."

Take food, leave, exit, alley. At this point, I nearly shove the shit at them.

"Oh my God!"

"Is that the mega value pack Dazzleburgers?"

"OH MY GOD!!! GIMME!!!"

"God, Catty. Try to have some self-control."

"Sorry..."

"'Cause they OBVIOUSLY brought the Dazzleburgers for ME."

"NO WAYYY!!!!!"

I point to the items.

"Trade. Now."

Bratty puts the key and gun into the hat before handing it over to me.

"Thank you."

I put the key in my inventory and equip the other two.

[You equipped the Tattered Western Hat]

[You gain 12 Defense and 5 Attack]

[This battle-worn hat makes you want to crew on straw for some reason. It also raises attack by 5.]

[You equipped the Rusty Revolver]

[You gain 12 Attack]

[An super old gun. It has no ammo. Must be used precisely, or damage will be low. Duh.]

[HP: 40 ATK: 62 DEF: 50]

I am becoming OP!!

"Oh! Give burger-boy this!"

Catty hands me a scrap of paper with her number.

"Fine. I'm just glad this is done."

Back to Burgerpants. I slap the paper down.

"Here's her number. I hope you don't regret this."

His face contorts in a weird way...Is he...Happy?

Sweet! I need to pick a spicy outfit for my little shindig later. Though, now that I think about it, I had to throw away all of my clothes to make room for the outfits Mettaton gave me."

"...What?"

"Don't take it the wrong way. They're just all these...Weird getups. 'Promotional' costumes. For 'holidays'. Or 'specials'. Or 'because he felt like it'. The thing IS though! Most of the time I'm the only employee who has to wear this stuff! Sometimes he even calls me into his office just to...Make me put something on...Then he laughs and lets me go back to work as normal."

My pity meter is breaking.

"Anyways, I won't sweat it. I'll take it casual. NEVER let hot people think you care. That's how they GET you."

And the pity meter dropped dead.

"Good luck with that."

I leave on that note. Fuck this resort. Fuck this quest plot. Fuck this whole damn thing!

Wanting this shit show to be over and done with, I do as instructed by following the rug's path out some doors that have a giant sign above that says "CORE". Lazy-ass designers, I swear.

Weirdly this leads to a balcony. A balcony that has been opened and a walkway built that connects to the massive facility. The light from the resort barely shows half of the path as the CORE itself surprisingly gives off the faintest glow. The CORE is an entirely mechanical complex that is largely black and yellow with red accents. The blah colors aside, what gets my attention are the two monsters that were minding the entrance that slip inside when I show up. I don't like this.

"Flowey, you better be able to get here. I have a bad feeling about this."

Approaching shows more of this crazy thing. The CORE appears to be the most industrial and modern region of the Underground. Ozone, a byproduct of electrical power, is omnipresent below the floor level of the CORE. This could mean the CORE might be made of stainless steel, titanium, or platinum; as ozone is highly corrosive to most organic materials. If this is the case, they could use this stuff. The CORE could be a source of ozonated water, which cleans clothes, sanitizes food, and purifies drinking water. This also implies this might be the greatest source of oxygen in the Underground as ozone simply decomposes into oxygen at high concentrations and temperatures. The only hazard I can think of is that oxygen is a shitty thing to breathe. Breathing pure oxygen at high pressures can cause nausea, dizziness, muscle twitching, vision loss, convulsions, and loss of consciousness. Breathing pure oxygen for a long time can irritate the lungs causing coughing and/or shortness of breath. Higher exposure may cause a build-up of fluid in the lungs and subsequent death. Guess how much more O2 is needed to do this to a person? 20% more. God, Humans are so freaking weak. I'll need to be careful here.

The lobby of the CORE has an elevator to the north and two paths to the left and right. Not a bad looking place, very lavishly decorated, the floors are engraved with intricate patterns and multicolored neon tubes serve as wall ornaments and embellishments. I check the elevator, which is disabled, I'm not shocked at this point. Not much else to do, I go to the path on the right, which turns out to be a small room with a square platform overlooking a pit of fire. Not bad. I do enjoy looking at fire. It's pretty. Moving on! Going through the left path leads to a rectangular stretch of wall-less hallway with a doorway at the end.

"Hmmm...My bullshit senses are tingling. I'm willing to bet a random encounter/ambush is about to happen."

As if cued by my words, something cracks the back of my head and then hits my gut as I turn.

"*wheeze* Called it..."

My attacker appears and my dull cracked purple soul is forced out to play.

[Madjick pops out of its hat!]

Madjick has a typical appearance of a wizard. It wears a curved wizard hat, a pair of boots, and two rotating orbs emitting cross-shaped particles. Madjick has a sly smile on its face, but a pair of bright eyes are hidden just under its hat.

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[̴͝SP͜͞E͡L̵͜L͟͠͏]͘͢

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

I wonder if SPELL will work on this thing? ...N-No. No. Can't chance it. Stick to normal tactics.

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[TALK]

[STARE]

[CLEAR MIND]

...The fuck kind of options are these?!

[CHECK selected.]

[MADJICK – HP: 190 ATK: 29 DEF: 24 – This enemy can only speak in magic words.]

Finally! My states aren't shit compared to my attacker. Also, only speaks in magic words is the most fucking adorable thing I've ever heard.

"Abra cadabra."

An orb spawns off to my left and rapid-fires crosses at me. I dodge and the orb tries to cut me off by going where I'm headed. It fires about eight times and moving around is not so great.

[HP ████████████████ 16/40]

Thank goodness my defense got increased during all this crap. I could've been really messed up.

[Madjick flaunts its orbs in a menacing manner.]

It snickers.

"A smug one. I like that."

[TALK selected.]

"You know...I can do magic too."

It looks at me intrigued.

"Yep. I can make your smile disappear."

It pauses before sneering at me.

"See? I made it vanish before your very eyes!"

It didn't seem to like my humor.

"Hocus pocus."

[Madjick begins chattering to itself. Its gibberish dizzies you...Your DEFENSE drops by 1.]

My head feels fuzzy. Did it just jinx me? Are there more types of magic than what I've been told?

One of the orbs begins to chase me while deploying harmful but immobile crosses. Yet due to the jinx, my sense of direction is ass-backward. Left is right and right is left. Up is down and down is up. However...much to Madjick's dismay...I'm used to being incredibly dizzy. My childhood was filled with countless hours of boredom appeased by spinning around till I couldn't see straight.

[HP ████████████████████ 20/40]

Ha ha...Suck on those magic balls, wizard-boy!

"*slur* Is that what you call magic? Boo! Disappointed!"

[Madjick whispers arcane swear words.]

"*slur* Oh...Someone needs to put some gold in the swear jar. I'm gonna tattle!"

It growls.

"Eh eh eh. It's not your turn."

I slap my face a few times.

[CLEAR MIND selected.]

"I wonder where Flowey is?"

[You think of pollen and sunshine. Your confusion abates. Your DEFENSE increased by 2.]

"...What?"

"Alakazam!!"

It tries to surprise me with that following orb trick. But now that I know that move it's not so bad.

[HP ██████████████████████████ 26/40]

Huh? Am I auto-healing faster? Sweet! Surely that only means good things for me.

[Madjick peers at you with strange eyes.]

"What? You scared? My sick moves and auto-healing too much for you? No worries, wizard-dude, we cool. I got you."

The hell did I just say? Am I magic high? Fuck it.

[MERCY selected.]

[New options available.]

[FLEE]

[SPARE]

[SPARE selected.]

It looks at me funny. Then it looks at my HP.

[HP ████████████████████████████████ 32/40]

It flinches.

"Please and thank you."

Madjick accepts my act of mercy.

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 120 gold.]

The fight ends, my soul returns to my body and I give my opponent claps of approval.

"Good show, buddy. Keep up the good work."

It seems confused but nods, hovering away behind me towards the exit.

"Well...That was weird."

My head still feels odd. Nothing a few brain sloshing shakes of the old noggin won't fix. Anyway, no time to question strange feelings or whatever. I gotta get through this so I can get back to Toriel. Onwards I go.

Continuing forward, I enter a room with a bridge that is cut off by a tesla coil. Wow. Hadn't seen that in a long ass time. How much do I wanna bet there's a convenient off switch nearby. Oh, look! A super obvious switch right there on the wall. Who could've ever had guessed! I flip the switch and lasers fire at me! First blue, then blue again, and orange. Thankfully they're slow, so once I triggered the first blue laser I easily hit the deck to avoid the others that pass by.

"Setting booby traps on top of other traps now. Geez, Metta, I'm starting to think you don't like me very much. Well, that's fine. I don't like me either! So come at me already and quit this pussy bullshit!"

Calm down. No need to get riled up. Get through this and go home. Then I can just stuff my face with Nanny's awesome cheesecake and pass out happy. I march on, doing my best not to look down or notice how some of the walls and floors are chipped away. Now I'm paranoid about if any other laser that turns up is functional or decorative.

The path leads into a crossroads with a path to my left and a path straight ahead. My bullshit sense is tingling when I look at the left path. Straight ahead it is.

This room contains a bridge with many blue and orange lasers followed by a massive wall of blue lasers.

"Nope. Just nope. Screw the rules! I have plot armor importance and common sense!"

Fuck this outfit. Fuck this shit! I have lost all my fucks! I get down on the floor and combat crawl the long as fuck cold metal catwalk.

"*muttering* Stupid bullshit. Why do I have to be nice? If I wasn't nice, I wouldn't have to put up with shit like this. Bitches don't end up in laser catwalk traps. But no...I have to be a decent person. *getting louder* I have to be a good girl. I have to not give in to the overwhelming urge to punch assholes for being assholes because that's wrong for dumb reasons! *shouting* Why am I pissing myself off?! This is extremely counterproductive given my current situation! Fuck!!"

I blame all this on Mettaton. That's a healthy way to look at it. Probably not. But I'm not a mental health doctor! The fuck do I know?! After crossing the bridge, I storm grumpily along another walkway only to reach something called "Core Branch".

Turns out the "Core Branch" is a four-way intersection. Fan-fucking-tastic. Man, my mood is fucking sour. Maybe the digital sign can be useful and give me directions.

[North, the warrior's path. West, the sage's path. Any path leads to The End.]

"*growling* This is so...FUCKING STUPID!!"

Nope. Not falling for anymore of this. I choose neither side and go straight. This middle path of the "Core Branch" has me entering a vertical room with a right path leading to the eastern portion of the "Core Branch". There's nothing to my left. It just drops into the ozone, so it's certain death. I'm so sure this place followed all safety measures. There is a sign on the wall that is telling me to "Get lost...And stay that way".

"Wha...Why have signs telling me to leave when you told me to come here?! Stupid metal moron giving me dumb mixed messages."

I hate everything. No monster better encounter me while I'm in this mood. I take out a gold piece and flip it. Heads for straight and tails for the right. It lands on tails so right I go. This has to be the stupidest designed building ever! What the hell was Gaster thinking?! Was he on the drugs? Because this seems like he was on the drugs! 'Cause now I'm at another four-way crossroads. Only now I have two digital signs.

[To the East! This is The End.]

[I cannot fight. I cannot think. But, with patience, I will make my way through.]

A third, and hopefully final, tesla coil blocks what has been established as the exit. This means there's a switch somewhere. F that shit. Know what? You know what'll piss everyone off? I'm gonna do what that sign said. I'm going to be patient. Because if I know Mettaton, and I know massive egos very well, he won't want boring content to be televised and eventually spice things up. I plop my edgy tush under the sign and...wait. Using this time to chill. Let this negativity go and...

*Clank-clank-clank*

Oh hell no!

A large monster ominously approaches. Knight Knight is a monster that wields a great staff with a sun symbol in her right hand. She wears a suit of black armor and what resembles a horned helmet with a crescent moon emblazoned on her forehead. The helmet's eyepiece occasionally widens and un-widens as if it is her mouth. Her torso is dominated by a dragon face whose beak occasionally opens and closes, revealing a small eye. It is unclear whether which face is the true face.

"Let me guess...You're here to make me move?"

"Yes."

"No."

She's confused.

"...No?"

"Did I stutter? I'm not moving."

She readies her spear.

"Then prepare for..."

"Let me stop you right there. I get that you're doing your job and following the law, and blah blah blee bloo, whatever. I have been through one of THE worst days in my life. My mind, soul, and charitable goodwill have been pushed to limits that are very VERY thin now. I am in no mood to deal with any more crap. So I'm going to say this once because I ain't fighting you or moving from this spot till this electrical blockaded is gone...Turn around and go home."

She doesn't take me seriously and laughs.

"Heh heh...You have no power to give me orders, human."

She takes a step closer and I snap.

"I͏͟ ̧̀̕W͝IL͘͡L̴ ̶Ŗ͟͜I͝҉P͘ ̵O͜F̧F̛͞ ̸̀Y̧͡O̡͢U̡͠R ͠H̸EA̶͏D͏͢ ̸̕A͜N͢D S̢̛͜Ḩ̶Į͢T̵̕ ͝D̶̀OW͞N̷̴͠ ҉͞Ý̸̢O̡͡U̡͢R ̸ŅE̴͝CḰ̡̧!͞͞!̧͢"

She stumbles back in shock. The strange energy sparks off me. I regret everything.

"I̵'͘͟͏ḿ͢͞ ̧̕͞so̧̨͡r̴̢ŗ̷͜y̧.̵̛.̢͞.̛p̢l͝ea̷se͢.͟.́͢.leave me. I'm so sorry."

I seem to have disturbed her. She slowly steps back and turns around when she's convinced I'm not going to move.

"Adieu...Human."

She leaves me and I let out a shaky exhale. It's getting worse. I'm losing control. I can't do this for much longer. I haven't been given any proper time to deal with this shit. My internal bottle has been shaken too much! It's going to explode! I...I...

"What the heck was that?!"

Flowey pops up beside me and I'm too freaked out to be startled.

"Sis? What's wrong?"

I hold myself in an attempt to squeeze into a tiny ball of self-loathing. This only worries him more.

"Lynsie?"

I...I can't...I need a break. If only I had my music. I could drown out all this. Lose myself in the lyrics.

"B-Bro..."

"Yes? Talk to me. I can help. Tell me what you need."

"...H-How fast can you get to Snowdin?"

He frowns.

"You want me to get 'him', don't you?"

All I can do is nod.

"I...I can help too. You don't have to turn to him."

My eyes dart to the blocked path. He puts things together. He is a smart boy after all.

"True. Mettaton is that way and the room his encounter takes place in is an elevating platform. I can stretch from my roots pretty far but not THAT far."

He pouts.

"*huff* I guess there's no other option. He does have experience helping you out when things get bad. And he can teleport."

I feel bad that I'm making him do this...again. Like in the dead timeline.

"I...I'm sorry."

"Wha...N-No! Don't apologize. I understand. You're worried. It's okay. We'll get through this. Family helps family. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't do everything to help? Even if that means getting others to help when I can't."

"...I need a hug...please?"

It pains me to see him hesitate. But vines come out to wrap around me for a bit.

"Thank you."

The vines retract and he extends to nuzzle my cheek.

"It won't be like last time. I promise. You won't kill anyone. No one's going to die."

"H-How do you know?"

"Because you're strong. You just have to believe in yourself. I know I do."

...I needed that. I give him a smile.

"There we go. There's my sis. Now keep that smile. I'll get Smiley Trashbag and we'll be back home with mom in no time."

He really is too sweet for this world. He sinks into the floor and I forgot to ask how he was able to get through this floor. I mean, I guess he said he can get through cement so metal can't be too far of a long shot. Asriel sure is a super strong boy even as a flower.

*BUZZ*

The power to the coil suddenly is shut off remotely like I so knew it could be. Damn it. I was hoping to have more time. How impatient is Mettaton for this? Reluctantly, I get up and walk down this new road. Halfway along this bridge, I am blocked by three vaguely familiar monsters that look like tougher versions of monsters I see in the Ruins.

Final Froggit has spike-like protrusions on its head and eyelids, accompanied by a crown-like muff on top of its head. Its lips are marked with lines, as though wrinkled from age. Its "shoulders" are decorated with sharp excrescents, while the silhouette between its legs forms a face with a triangular smile and cross eyes.

Whimsalot has a more human-like appearance than Whimsun. Also, its antennae are thicker, and there is a muff on their head that branches in two. Whimsalot's appearance is also accompanied by a double-bladed spear and a knight mask. Its ghost-like torso is skinnier and shorter.

Astigmatism's body consists of a large ball and four spiked limbs. The ball is accompanied by two "horns" on each side. When idle, a large eye can be seen on the ball also with three eyelashes. However, it changes from this face to another where the eye hollow is changed with a smile. When having its eye closed, the two side eyelashes become Astigmatism's eyes, while the middle one simply becomes a marking.

I don't know what I must look like to them. Probably dreadful. Because they move aside with not a word being side. I nod in thanks, proceeding to the end which for all I know might be the most tragic moment of my life second to Grillby dying. No! Stop it! Do as Flowey said. Smile. Stay chipper. Think of something silly. Like how dumb this place is. Honestly, was Gaster high making this place? I'll have to ask him later. Nah...I'll ask Sans. Less hassle.

The bridge comes to an end, leading to a shadowy doorway and an elevator that probably would've been super handy but was out of order to pad out the length of this bullshit subplot. Augh...It's so much easier to think my life is a fictional story or internet abridge series. It's the only way my brain allows most of this crap to make any sense.

"So this is it, huh? The epic conclusion of this grand show. Heh...I want to feel accomplished for making it this far. Almost. But all I do feel is..."

I can't finish my sentence. The weight I thought I got off my back earlier begins pressing on me again.

"Nothing...I feel nothing. *sniffling* Damn it...Don't fucking cry!"

With a breakdown seconds away from happening, I enter the doorway to the room of darkness and a door shuts behind me then locks. There is no going back now.

Please...I made a promise...Please...Don't make me have to RESET...Please...I'm begging...Please...

[curechocolattymilk]

Skyrim OC Questionnaire

Saw @jessaryss​ ‘s questionnaire in the tes tag & decided to give it a whirl w my current Dovahkiin!

BASICS

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Race: Argonian

Age: 26-28??

Pronouns: He/They

Eyes: Turquoise-ish

Hair: Red feathers

Skin: black/super dark green?? idk i was playing around w a race menu mod w this lad

Height: 5′7″ - 5′8″ (A bit on the short side for an Argonian)

Weight: 153 LBs

General Physique: Probably average? With a bit of beef since they swing around battleaxes/wear heavy armor

Tattoos, WarPaints & Scars? I’m just plopping down a screenshot bcus i suck at explaining em. Can’t see his scars on this one but they have three long ones over their left(?) eye

Yes I went edgy color scheme with him. No, I have no shame

ABOUT

Dragonborn: YES / NO

Werewolf/Bear or Vampire?: Werewolf time (yet to find a good werecroc mod tho :c)

Occupation: Adventurer, Thief, Listener, Arch-Mage, Harbinger, Mercenary, soon to be Legion solider, all-around bastard

Guild Association(s): TG, DBH, Companions, College of Winterhold & I believe that is it bcus i went back a couple saves in hopes to avoid a CW bug & lost a bit of progress in return oof

Favoured Weapon Class / Type: Two-Handed, Battleaxe

Favoured School of Magic / Type: DESTRUCTION. Tei loves himself some Fire n Lightning. The fire shout is his most used lol

Heavy Armor? Light Armor? Robes?: Heavy Armor

Place of Birth: Unsure still but I’m thinking of having them not have a Hist-connection/not hatching in Black Marsh? Seems like an interesting route but who knows

Place Where They Were Raised: Hammerfell till their teens (Tei was adopted), then they wandered around for a bit w a group b4 landing in Skyrim

Current Location: Since last save? Ivarstead I think

Education / Place of Study: He’s well-read/educated! Mostly learned the smithing trade under his family in Hammerfell, but snuck into a few academic courses during their travels in Cyrodil

Any Teachers / Inspirations? Tei has an elder brother who helped teach him the ropes of adventuring/survival. He helped kickstart the Argonian’s adventure drive.

PERSONAL

Patron Deity (if any): Mora & Hircine I’d say? He doesn’t really worship any of the Nine, though he acknowledges all of them.

Political Alliance (if any): They could care less for the warring factions, but the civil war is starting to inconvenience him, so for the sake of choosing a side & getting it over with, they joined the Empire. (The recruiters were closest & Tei really didn’t want to travel aaalll the way to Windhelm...never really liked the place anyway) Don’t expect him to be extremely loyal/treat them or the Dominion w any respect though lol

Strongest Skills: If going off ones that reached 100: Two-handed, Heavy-Armor, Destruction, Smithing, Speech, Archery

Strengths: Can take a hit physically; Pretty stealthy despite their armor type; Pretty much fearless, will take you head on

Weaknesses: Has piss-poor sense of direction when it comes to Dwemer/Nordic ruins; Pretty much fearless, not much of a danger sense so they can get pretty fucked up; Can’t tank spells that well, despite being Arch-Mage; Doesn’t have an issue following their Draconic or Werebeast nature/Can’t control nightly transformations

Spouses? Flings? Lovers?: Rumarin is their hubby. Though Tei & Ru are discussing among themselves about opening their relationship & adding Kaidan to it, if the warrior comfortable with the idea.

Thaneship (and of where?): Yes; Solitude, Whiterun, Dawnstar, & Falkreath. They’re worming their way into every hold they can though

Most Difficult Quest They’ve Been On? The whole Dragonborn quest was definitely a challenge he completed out of spite for Miraak. However, the Blood of Kings (3DNPC-Slight spoiler warning for the end of this quest? Maybe?) quest fucked w them a bit more mentally. Tei likes to act big & tough but having to acknowledge he’s the only one who went through/remembers all that did mess with them a bit. It’s hard to explain those dreams/nightmares.

Jail Time? So far? Just Cidna Mine because of the Forsworn Quest. Tei is pretty good at not getting caught/using his connections to get away with things.

Largest Bounty Held? I want to say around 5000+? Again, it was Markarth, they did not go down w/o a fight after that false accusation.

How Much Gold Are They Typically Carrying? Too much idk what to spend it on

How Do They Get Gold? Stealing, well-paying jobs, selling treasures they looted from tombs or found in dungeons, that sorta deal

Are Werebeings and Vampires Vile Creatures or Simply Misunderstood?: Simply misunderstood! Until you attack him then it’s game over for you. bud.

Do They Actively Hunt Dragons?: Not really, in a turn of events regarding this character. Part of it is because I just can’t find any spawning vanilla-wise post-Alduin, but for an in character explanation, Tei does feel a strong kinship with dragons. They won’t hunt them/kill them unless it’s a well-paying job/they challenge him first. Which...the latter happens often in the form of Assaults (Deadly Dragons is one fun mod). Hell, Tei refused to kill Paarthurnax. He respects the Dovah, even if he disagrees w the passive way of thinking, & goes to them often to meditate or talk. Not that anyone needs to know that.

Goals In Life? Honestly? Probably boost themselves up the ranks/collect more powerful artifacts for his hoard. If there’s a powerful figure he can challenge he will do it Figuring out how to turn into a dragon would be cool too, i guess

Deepest Regret?: Not hanging out with their kids (Ram-ku & Chases-Starlight) as much. They visit when they can but the urge to travel/explore can keep them away from home for a bit. So everytime they head back to Proudspire/Lakeview they have a ton of treats/toys/daggers to give the two.

Greatest Hope?: Not a shared fact with anyone, but deep down Tei does wish to retire comfortably, he jokes with Inigo that such an idea sounds boring but honestly? They wouldn’t mind it.

Most Embarrassing Moment: Rumarin caught him playing with the dog’s rope toys while in Werewolf form once. The High-Elf refuses to let Tei live it down

Flaws: They don’t really pick up on how rude they can be at times, or maybe they do & just don’t care.; Lack of personal danger-sense in battle/thrill of the kill can often lead to Tei getting some serious injuries if he’s not careful, his continued mastering of Restoration is from licking his own wounds. Sorta ironic considering he fusses over close teammates not being careful after opening up some more.

Fears: After the whole Blood of Kings debacle, Tei developed a deep fear of losing the reality they’re in/losing their loved ones. Alduin may have been defeated but the idea that any & all progress or events he went through can just be taken away regardless sticks with him. It may or may not drive his need to take out anything they deem as a big threat/challenge.

What Makes Them Happy?: Playing with their kids is a big one, Tei always makes times for games. Other than that it’s finding new discoveries/techniques about destruction magic or soul gems, reading a good book (or being read to, if he feels like asking Rumarin), being with his family in general, or going out for a hunt in their werebeast form.

Hobbies: Playing the lute, building his hoard some dragon behaviors just stick regardless of the body you’re in, smithing/creating little decorative daggers, treasure diving

Favorite Locations: Throat of the World/Paarthurnax’s Library (Mod), Lake Ilinalta, Apocrypha

Favorite Holds: Falkreath & Solitude

Eating Habits?: They’re not picky, but tend to prefer raw meat. It’s not an uncommon sight to see Tei just up n swallow a salmon whole while he’s swimming to catch the group some dinner.

Can They Cook?: they leave it to Rumarin if at home/the elf is traveling with them, but they can do it decently enough.

Favorite Food: Tei would kill for Ru’s seared-slaughterfish dish

Favorite Drink: Shein/Velvet LeChance

First Thing They Do At A Tavern?: Ask around for bounties/buy some food for the road

Sleeping Habits?: Due to the beastblood, Tei is very restless when they sleep, often tossing & turning. Ru holding them helps a bit, but on days where he travels, Tei just stays awake until he passes out in an inn/at camp from exhaustion seeing as they don’t toss around as much then.

Cities or the wilds?: The wilds

Pet Peeves?: Being stopped for bounties of like...5 gold. Like dude fuck off or he’s going to make that bounty go higher.; Followers bunching up/not letting them pass, Tei has places to be guys; Also really hates being grabbed/touched unless its close friends/family

Describe Their Bedroom or Home: Their bedroom is rather neat & tidy, same as any personal forge or storage room. Alchemy/Enchanting areas, or any place of study you should watch your step. Especially in the Arch-mages quarters, that place is a total mess.

How Would A Stranger Describe This Person?: A short-tempered, apathetic asshole through & through most likely.

Someone Close To Them? A snarky arse who actually is a bit of a softy with some rough edges. Tei’s no goody-two-shoes, & tends to tease, but he’s not cruel either, y’know?

How Do They Deal With Anger?: He tries to avoid lashing out at others unless they caused it. Usually cools off from big episodes by working at the forge, doing a big bounty or two, or using their Thu’um somewhere till their throat hurts.

How Do They Deal With Failure?: Tei gets broody, frustrated & fidgets with his claws/tail/feathers a lot. Over the years of their adventuring they understand failure is a fact of life, but that doesn’t mean they can’t get upset about it. Don’t take it to heart if they snap at you during this time, they don’t really mean it & just are mad at themselves

How Do They Deal With Loss of a friend or someone close?: Not horribly bad but also not in the best way, they immediately put walls up & avoid conversation for a good while, maybe even leave for a few days. While slowly working with this with the help of Ru & Inigo, Tei doesn’t like being seen in a vulnerable & would most likely brush the event off as “shit happens.” However, it’ll eventually get too much. A good example would be when they lost most of the Brotherhood due to Astrid’s betrayal; Tei would brush it off constantly if it was brought up, pushing it down. One day though, it hit him full force while prepping for a contract, he’s grateful it was just Rumarin there when it happened.

Go Into The Bandit Filled Cave To Retrieve The Lost Amulet For Some Simpleton, or Tell Them Nah Bye?: Depends if they pay well or if Tei can get away w keeping the item, but it’s mostly “Lol that sucks bro”

Opinions on Daedra?: He only respects/likes two (Hircine & Mora), but will shimmy up to the other princes for their artifacts

Companions / Followers

First Follower: Rumarin! Found the dude by accident while running around & immediately fell for the snarky fucker.

Have They Stuck Around?: I mean, the two did get hitched. Rumarin mostly stays at home with their kids now-a-days, as Tei is chasing after more & more dangerous “prey”

Something The Look For In A Follower (or do they hire anyone without question?): Hold their own & does what their told, mostly. The former is the proving factor for him (except in the case of Lucien...but they’re paying to tag along so I guess they can stay)

Followers Over The Years (or whatever amount of time): Rumarin, Zora Fairchild, Gor, Anum-La, Skjarn (but only once), Inigo, Kaidan, Lucien, & Hoth.

Fourth Wall

Any Must Have Mods To Play This Character?: Anything to help boost Argonian experience (Amazing Argonian Traits/Feats, Horns are Forever, Digitigrade Khajiit-Argonian Raptor, Bigger Argonian Tails....We need more Argonian mods), Ordinator, Apocalypse, Wildcat, Deadly Dragons, Real Bosses USSEP, Ultimate Combat SE, TK Dodge, Shout Overhaul. And while you don’t need it to play Jeer-Tei, the Racial Body Morphs SE is fun to help diversify everyone’s height! Until you realize you’re short as hell to most of your party.

Random Screenshot / Drawing: Here’s Kaidan & Rumarin stealing the bed in my bugged saves, gotta redo Kai’s quests again for this tho. F

Level?: 91 I think? First character where I grinded up via Alchemy & Enchantments for perk points for a good while. (Also started out as a light armor build but I quickly decided, “lets become a sneaky tank build!” mid-gameplay) I used to have the People of Skyrim mod on as well, which spawned waaay too many dragons (im talkin about none of them landing even after their hp hit zero bcus the ai got bugged w the amount spawning) & bandit mobs, so that helped too lol. Eventually disabled it though bcus my old laptop was struggling. 

Serious RP or Thomas The Tank Engine Dragons, Fart Shouts, and Kawaii Cat Girl Mods?: Serious RP, though I may add some sillies later

[silkygoldmilkweed]

SanSan Is Everything and Everything Is SanSan, 4/?

Previous installments: THE BEAR AND THE MAIDEN FAIR (Season 3) | THE RED WOMAN (Season 6) | GARDEN OF BONES (Season 2)

Basically any episode that has even the slightest connection to a SanSan moment or a big Sansa or Sandor character shift is littered with other scenes and scenarios that relate to love, marriage, warrior of light, hearts of fire and their arcs through the series. Episode eight of season four, "The Mountain and the Viper,” is no exception.

This first scene is about Sam and Gilly. And the next scene is about Missy and Grey Worm. These are all living characters with their own dramas and amazing stories. But ALSO, nearly every word has a dual role, also serving to examine the otherwise invisible love and yearning between Sansa and Sandor, which is the epic love of the story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~A STORY ABOUT A LOST LOVE~~~

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The wildlings sack Mole’s Town, where Gilly has been staying. Sam is basically talking to himself here, while the rest of the NW guys argue about Kegs and Mully and Blackjack and the coming Mance Ryder problem. (This episode immediately precedes “Watchers on the Wall.”)

What does Sam, our romantic hero, say to himself? You can watch the episode for the original, I’ll slot in Sandor’s internal monologue here.

Note: Read this in Sandor’s grumpy growl voice instead of Sam’s whine.

Sandor: “I never should have left her there...Sansa’s dead because of me. And little Arya. As if I cut their throats myself.” Shoulder Angel #1: “Maybe she managed to hide herself. I thought all of you was dead. You went away and no one came back[*see note below]. Not for ages. But then you did.” Shoulder Angel #2: “She survived Joffrey and he was the worst shit I’ve ever met...[She’s a survivor.] She might have got out.” Sandor, hopeful again: “She might have.”

Sam is an interesting stand-in for the Hound, but that’s what he is here.

Sam has NO martial skill, whereas Sandor is an experienced, seasoned pure-bred war dog.

Sam is a naive young man in love for the first time; Sandor is a grizzled cynic.

Sam guilelessly voices these sentimental feelings for this woman and child he considers his own. (Counterpoint: Sam and Gilly haven’t even done it at this point, and the little one isn’t even his blood.)

Sandor punches down on every one of those sentimental feelings for this woman and child he considers his own. (Same as Sam-Gilly-LilSam, Sansa and Sandor haven’t even done it at this point, and the little one, Arya, isn’t even his blood.)

And yet, all men are knights and all men are fools where women are concerned. He loves the girl and he’ll take her family too, because it’s what she wants.

** always, always there is language about lovers and soldiers who are gone and do or don’t “come back”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~A STORY ABOUT SEXUAL DESIRE AND MUTILATED WARRIORS~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grey Worm sees Missy naked, and the two of them have feelings about that.

“I have come to apologize. I hope I didn’t frighten you.” [Do I frighten you so much girl, or is it him there making you shake?”]

“You don’t need to apologize.” [classic Stark line: There’s nothing to forgive, my lord.]

“The lesson you give in the Common Tongue. These are precious to I.” “I don’t remember teaching you the word precious.” “Jorah the Andal he teaches I--he teaches me--this word.”

[YOUNG LOVE SO FUCKING CUTE ASDSJSDFSDKKKK]

“Do you remember the name you were given at birth?” [Do you remember being a hopeful, emotionally healthy child before they turned you into a mindless killing machine?]

“I remember nothing. Only Unsullied.”

“When they cut you, do you remember that?”

“I’M SORRY. I’M SORRY THEY DID THAT TO YOU. IT’S A TERRIBLE THING TO DO TO A BOY.”  [6yo Grey Worm got his dick cut off. 6yo Sandor Clegane got his face burned off. ALL THE GOOD GUYS ARE BASTARDS CRIPPLES AND BROKEN THINGS] [Also, “I’m sorry about all that’s happened to you and I’m sorry that it had to happen here in our home.”]

“If the masters never cut me, I never am Unsullied. I never stand in the Plaza of Pride when Daenerys Stormborn orders us to kill the masters. I never am chosen to lead the Unsullied. I never meet Missandei from the island of Naath.”

“If Gregor never burns me, I never go to serve the Lannisters. I never ride North to Winterfell with King Robert and meet Sansa Stark. I never go on walkabout with Arya Stark. I never find my wife and my daughter, my family.”

“If I never fall in with Joffrey and LF and Ramsay, I never come to cherish the Hound, brave, gentle and strong, even without seeing him for years. I never get back to Winterfell. I never find my true home is with Sandor Clegane.”

“I am sorry for today. I am sorry.” “Grey Worm, I’m glad you saw me.” “So am I.”

[1. YOUNG LOVE SO FUCKING CUTE ASDSJSDFSDKKKK, 2. While SanSan are suffering out in the wilderness, we gotta get our kicks elsewhere. This is another example of what a semi-functional romantic relationship means for the people involved. What does it feel like? What path is walked to bring two souls and bodies together? How does the union change them?]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~A STORY ABOUT A HOME IN THE NORTH~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part I: Ramsay and his cutout Theon retake Moat Cailin.

(a) A yearning for home

I cannot even w Theon, but this whole Ramsay-Theon hellscape ends in a scenic vista of Winterfell and Reek mumbling “Will we go home now?” The just-slaughtered Ironborn wanted the same. To go home. It’s so pure, almost too much so for this horrific medieval realpolitik.

This is also necessary setup for the next couple seasons, where Sansa re-enters Winterfell (“home”?) and then finally learns how to escape her abusive boyfriend and then returns with two armies to retake back her ancestral land for good. Winterfell is, I need not tell you, a key location, not just for the show at large but for Sansa specifically: Her power, I think both magically as well as politically, is seated at Winterfell.

(b) The many ways a pair can be devoted to one another

The Ironborn captain at Moat Cailin tells Reek: “Only a whipped dog would speak this way. Or a woman. Are you a woman?”

I think at heart, what George is exploring with the story of Reek is what does it mean to make someone your bitch, not least because when you have a character named the fucking Hound, his woman automatically gets called “Hound’s bitch.” But what does that mean?

Is being the receptive partner in a sexual relationship the same as being an emasculated, cowering animal? What is the nature of genuine emasculation?

This is one of many many “superfluous” references to sexuality and/or dogs in the series. Because SanSan is everything, and everything is SanSan.

Part II: Ramsay becomes a Bolton, and the Boltons take Winterfell

“The North. Ride 700 miles that way, you’re still in the North. 400 miles that way. 300 miles that way. The North is larger than the other six kingdoms combined, and I am warden of the North. The North is mine.”

This whole scene establishes the substantial nature of the North generally and the role of the Warden specifically.

But of course “there must always be a Bolton in Winterfell” ain’t right. This is about the Starks and Winterfell and the great disturbance in the Force when the family is wrenched out of their home, the most important holdfast in the North.

We don’t know it yet at this point in the story, but all the trueborn male Starks are dead, doomed and/or unfit. Rickard, Brandon, Eddard, Robb, Rickon, Bran, Benjen. I mean. It’s an unspeakable toll for one family to suffer.

If the 8,000-year-old line of Stark continues--and it is the oldest continuous family line in Westeros--it will be through Sansa’s heirs. You can tell me till the moon turns red that Arya could do it too, except she won’t. Every single thing she’s ever told us is that she doesn’t want that, and it’s not the kind of declaration that George sets up to knock down (“I don’t want brave, gentle and strong, I want him!”), it’s a core principle of who she is as a character.

Jon Snow is “not a Stahk,” and Arya is not a lady who will give some high lord sons. “That’s not me.”

Sansa Stark is the Wardeness of the North, just as Jon Snow is the heir to the Iron Throne. Only traitors can take that from them.

This scene looks like it’s about the Boltons, but they’re just the voice the show uses us to remind us of how Sansa Stark is (not just will be) a very important person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~A STORY ABOUT A GIRL’S ONLY FRIEND~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“My name’s not Alayne. [TRUE] It’s Sansa Stark, eldest daughter of Lord Eddard Stark. [TRUE] Lord Royce, we met when you came to Winterfell. [TRUE] You were escorting your son Ser Waymar to the Wall. [TRUE] Lord Baelish has told many lies. [TRUE] All to protect me. [FALSE] Since my father was executed, I have been a hostage in King’s Landing, a plaything for Joffrey to torture or Queen Cersei to torment. [TRUE] They beat me, they humiliated me, they married me to the Imp. [TRUE] I had no friends in King’s Landing. Except one. [TRUE BUT HER ONLY FRIEND IN KING’S LANDING WAS SANDOR CLEGNE -- Sansa and Baelish basically don’t talk once in King’s Landing until after Joffrey ends their betrothal and then he does nothing but play her as a piece in his game.] He saved me. [TRUE. Mostly the Hound did this but we will stipulate that LF at least got her out of King’s Landing.] Smuggled me away when he had the chance. [TRUE. Hound would have done this, but she rejected him. He failed at wife-stealing, because he’s honorable and decent and gentle as hell. Don’t @ me.] He knew I’d be safe here in the Eyrie, with my own blood, my Aunt Lysa. [TRUE BUT AGAIN THIS IS ABOUT THE HOUND, WHO IS CURRENTLY TRYING TO GET ARYA TO HER BLOOD IN THE EYRIE. Meanwhile, Littlefinger is already formulating plans to leverage Sansa’s body and claim for the Vale and the North and the Iron Throne.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~A STORY ABOUT TWO MEN IN A WOMAN’S LIFE~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Barristan is the Hound stand-in here, and Jorah is Littlefinger.

When you have time, rewatch the scene where Dany confronts Jorah about his selling her secrets to Varys and Bobby B, and then compare it to the scene three years later of Sansa presiding over Littlefinger’s trial. The language used to accuse and condemn Littlefinger is virtually identical to the language against Jorah here. 

Littlefinger’s flawless record of murdering Sansa’s family members and cornering her away from anyone besides him (ABUSE VICTIM GROOMING WHAT IS IT) is not yet known to the viewer when this episode originally airs, but we are being warned.

If Sansa had a Clegane as Dany has a Selmy, and he was informed of a fraction of Littlefinger’s treason, Littlefinger would be cut in half where he stood. That Jorah gets out of this alive is pure plot armor. But we are meant to understand that trusting Jorah/Littlefinger is both dangerous and foolish.

The most cutting of Dany’s recriminations, to mind, is this: “Don’t ever presume to touch me again, or speak my name.” Barristan, for his part, warns: “You’ll never be alone with her again.”

This is a denial of previously granted intimacy. This is disgust, revulsion and pure rejection resulting from the betrayal of her trust.

From a strictly political sense this is harsh, but the added dimension that makes it absolute savagery is that Jorah/Littlefinger, in their own ways, are said to truly love Dany/Sansa. It might just be lust, but...“Don’t ever presume to touch me again, or speak my name” is more than just polite friendzoning. 

Above all, it’s about having enough power to pick and choose who gets to know you, and touch your body, and call you your true name. Dany has this power, thanks to three dragons, Grey Worm, Barristan the Bold, and her general commanding mien. 

Sansa reclaims this power against Littlefinger after escaping Ramsay. Watch her with him Mole’s Town, how she pushes him away in the godswood after BOTB, and then again in the first episode of season seven. She calls him Lord Baelish and declines to spend her free time in his company.

For a long time this kind of control was taken from her by her various minders and jailers. Sandor could never give her this kind of power even if he freed her from her jailer-of-the-moment. She had to take it for herself.

What’s lovely is that when Sansa and Sandor finally reunite, Sansa at last has all this power for herself. And with every opportunity in the world, with a limitless choice of life paths and possible male companions, she will choose the Hound. Romance, bitches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~OH FUCK ME LITTLEFINGER IS TALKING~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Not a child any longer.”

Promise me this, gentle readers: If a man with a nasty goatee ever says to you “Not a child any longer,” you run the fuck a thousand miles away. Just run.

This scene where LF asks why Sansa lied to protect him kills me for two reasons (1) she’s the loneliest girl in the world and it’s so clear to see that her internal experience and the courtesy-armor shell are two totally different personas, and (2) it’s really just a setup to toy with us and show us THE LAST CHANCE. 

FWIW, there’s no way Littlefinger doesn’t have the Hound poisoned or pushed out the Moon Door inside a week if he gets into the Eyrie with Arya and finds Sansa there, but just as a hopeful sucker, you the viewer want Sansa to get away before it’s too late.

If Sansa encounters Sandor at this point, Sansa Sandor & Arya just stay right there under the protection of the Lords of the Vale, and LF gets the legs cut out from under him, and maybe everything is OK. “The pack survives.”

So by Narrative Law it just cannot happen. They have to torture us (especially Sansa and Arya not a little) for another three seasons to make the eventual payoff so much sweeter. But jiminy cricket, this hurts.

He’s right fucking there.

Sandor Clegane is, like, downstairs.

He found her. And it’s just one big Craigslist Missed Connection. Give me something for the pain and let me die.

[SCREAMS INTERNALLY]

Anyway, it’s all fucked, and instead she has only LF to talk to, and she tells him and tells us: “I know what you want.”

[VOMIT EMOJI HERE]

This is the closest the series ever gets to acknowledging the sexual awakening of Sansa Stark that George explores a great deal more in the books.

(In the books, I’m fairly sure that Lysa’s loud sex screaming is when Sansa figures out the double meaning to the Hound’s talk about her singing to him. That’s a big realization. And then she starts having sex dreams about him and deludes herself into thinking they shared an erotic kiss. Even as she is being hunted sexually by Littlefinger, she seems to find solace in sexualizing her relationship with Sandor Clegane. They are both predators, but she only finds one truly threatening. But that’s the books, so we’ll just leave that be bc we’re doing TV right now.)

So Sansa’s with her “uncle” (puke) but he’s a pedo whoremonger molester conman who never stops trying to hump her leg like a horny Chihuahua and she can’t escape and everything her family wouldn’t want for her is about to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~A STORY ABOUT A KNIGHT ON A QUEST~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where’s Arya? She’s with the Hound. He’s supposed to be a psycho killer, but he’s...not. He’s funny and vulnerable and empathetic and despite a certain ruthlessness and bloodthirst, he has a code.

“Nothing makes you happy.” --> he gives a damn if she’s happy

“That fleabite’s got you walking a lot slower than you used to.” --> her old man is ailing. Seriously tho, she’s worried.

Because they are a family. But they can’t accept that yet because it’s a fucking mess. So.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re her blood.” Notice how this mirrors Sansa’s phrasing earlier in the episode. “...with my own blood, my Aunt Lysa.”

FIRE AND BLOOD AGAIN AND AGAIN. Sansa, Sandor and Arya are blood of my blood. It is forever just biology. A lady wolf and a lonely alpha-male war dog? I mean...there is really no chance of this not turning out with them fucking. BUT FOR NOW WE MUST SUFFER ALONE.

“Who would enter the Bloody Gate?” “The bloody Hound, Sandor Clegane, and his...traveling companion, Arya Stark.”

THIS IS THE CUTEST BREAKTHROUGH LINE EVAR. Game of Thrones is really a family sitcom, guys. She’s technically his prisoner. But he has fatherly feelings for her. He doesn’t know quite what they’ve become to each other during their journey, so he settles on “traveling companion.”

(I have a pet theory that in season eight when Arya has to explain her relationship with the Hound she will claim him as her “traveling companion” and never tell Jon that the Hound kidnapped her and claimed he only wanted the Stark-girl ransom money.)

BTW, notice how in this scene all of a sudden the Hound starts talking like a normal person and not so surly and adversarial? HE’S SUCKING UP TO THE KNIGHTS OF THE VALE. Yes, Sandor Clegane, Mr. No Fucks Given, gives fucks. He gives all the fucks when it comes to Stark girls. He’ll play nice to get Arya safe if that’s what it takes.

Poor guy. At this point we still believe him to be a Bad Guy, some kind of menace, so we’re all in with Arya’s mocking laugh, but also, this is the basis of his rant to Brienne two episodes following, e.g. “there’s no safety, you dumb bitch.”

On the surface them being told Lysa is dead is funny, because little Arya Stark laughing at the absurdity of the world and at the Hound getting his ass handed to him by life AGAIN, but the subtext is so much darker. They are in big trouble, they are sick and broke, and it’s NOT EVEN HIS KID, and he doesn’t know what to do with her, and it’s so weird that they are together (So! Weird!), and yet he kind of likes being her dad but admitting that feels so jacked up he doesn’t know what to do.

Every plan he’s had has gone to hell. They are desperate. If the Hound ever suffered the neurosis and anxiety of lesser men, this would be the time, even though we’d like to believe he’s impervious to such mortal plagues.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~ A STORY ABOUT DEAD MEN AND CLEGANES ~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Don’t leave me alone in this world.” “No never.”

“Do you know who I am?” “Some dead man.”

I basically don’t care about any of the Lannister or Targaryen or Martell of the titular battle in “The Mountain and the Viper.” I mean, that’s all important, but also who cares. Let’s talk about the monsters of House Clegane instead. 

Let’s take the unlikely position of seeing what we can learn about Sandor from this.

In this arena, today, Oberyn gets killed by a mountain and leaves his family behind to be destroyed by predators.

In a different arena, not so far away, Sandor gets killed by a mountain and leaves his family behind to be destroyed by predators.

So much of this story is based on the raw facts of survival of the fittest: animal communities that suffer the death of their alpha males are extremely likely to be destroyed completely. The attacking lion or wolf or wildebeest or chimpanzee is an aggro testosterone-fueled jackass has one purpose: propagating his own genes at the expense of competing males. So almost without fail, once he offs the competing males, he murders their existing children and takes their women for his own. It’s not worth it expend valuable energy and resources on raising some other dick’s kids. It’s just evolutionary biology.

Ned and/or Robb Stark was the Daddy wolf.

Soon after his death, his woman and children were murdered.

Oberyn Martell was the Daddy viper.

Soon after his death, his woman and children were murdered.

Aerys and/or Rhaegar Targaryen was the Daddy dragon.

Soon after his death, his woman and children were murdered.

SANDOR CLEGANE IS THE DADDY WAR DOG WHO ASPIRES TO STEAL NED STARK’S JUVENILE WOLF DAUGHTERS AND MATE WITH THE HOT ONE TO MAKE HIS OWN HEIRS. IT’S BAKED INTO THE STORY, BUT THE SEXUAL REALITY OF THIS IS SOMETHING WE DON’T LIKE TO CONTEMPLATE IN HUMAN TERMS BECAUSE IT MAKES THE WORLD SO SO SCARY.

George R.R. Martin holds the radical position that humans are animals. 

Please complain to Charles Darwin and/or David Attenborough if you are offended, I can’t change it.

(Tywin Lannister was the Daddy lion. Soon after his death, his heirs/legacy start being murdered. BTW Cersei and Jaime are doomed too. Tyrion will survive b/c narrative law b/c he’s a secret Targ so he escapes. Cersei reflexively hates Tyrion bc she smells that he’s a chimera not a purebred lion. This is also why Cersei is so cranked at Tyrion about kinslaying Tywin: It is not good for the women and children when Daddy gets killed and eaten by his enemies, either of different or same species. And Jaime doesn’t step up because IDK he’s a slow learner or something.)

ANYWAY.

The entire next episode is devoted to the battle for the Wall, which serves as a nice firewall between these two stories in episode 8 and 10 so you don’t notice the connections. But what happens in episode 10?

THE HOUND FUCKING DIES GUYS.

Just like warrior Oberyn dies and leaves Ellaria alone in the world, when the Hound is gone, the Stark girls are completely and totally and hopelessly alone.

But...Littlefinger? 

Nah. Littlefinger is not a person, he’s a walking lie.

But...Jaqen? 

Nah. Jaqen is not a person, he’s a walking lie.

The Hound or Sandor Clegane or whatever you want to call him is Sansa and Arya’s fucking family, even though no one can handle that truth at this point, and losing the Hound at the end of S4 is a blow nearly equivalent to the death of Ned Stark. Arya becomes No One. THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING. And Sansa. Poor Sansa. You know what happens to Sansa.

The Hound didn’t put his dick in Sansa fast enough (because honor and morals and human decency and stuff) so someone else did. I do not approve of any of this, but that’s just canon.

Of all the horrible shit that happens to her, I’m going to argue that being raped out of her virginity by Ramsay fucking Snow on her wedding night in her childhood home while her sexually and physically abused foster brother watches is actually the worst. 

So. Oberyn dies. The Hound dies. What of it?

Death is the enemy, the first enemy and the last. 

If you’re a dead man with no surviving heirs, like Oberyn, you are forgotten quite quickly. That’s also what Sansa reminds Ramsay when she defeats him. The way to “beat death” is to create a legacy that lives on after you: you can make children who allow you to live forever, or you can do something that allows you to live forever. (cf D&D’s movie Troy, wherein Achilles ponders this kind of immortality.) 

Childless GRRM’s immortality is writing ASOIAF.

So the Hound is a dead man, and that leaves his woman and child open for predation. 

So it’s a fucking tragedy, and the Lannisters are at fault, and those girls suffered because Cersei is an amoral dishonorable liar, and you know who else suffered? The fucking Hound.

“I heard a wolf, howling his grief in the rain.”

The bloody Hound, Sandor Clegane, breaks not because he got his ass whupped by Brienne and nearly died, and deserted at the Blackwater and couldn’t fight anymore, but because he’s lost his wife and his daughter and he feels like he failed them and also what are they to him just total fucking strangers that are none of his business. It’s wild, guys. Being apart from them and not keeping them from being beaten and bloodied by the rest of the world is what really destroys him, not falling off a fucking mountain.

It’s hard to tell sometimes, but GRRM is actually a hopeless romantic. You’ll see.

[jordm]

Heartland 11x05 - Measuring Up review

So I tried to keep this short. I really did. Despite everything below.

LOU

Oh Lou, oh Lou... one can wonder what Peter thinks of Lou wanting to move her and the girls to NYC when theoretically, the summer is his time to see the girls too, but whatever. Lou is just being what she got mad at Peter for doing, and I think I’m somewhat used to it because she’s been doing it for awhile; and it’s kind of a better excuse than why Ty is going so I guess its okay. I guess. Overall, not real impressed with Lou for not realizing that Georgie is going to grow up right before her eyes and she’s going to miss all of it. She’s doing what she criticized Peter for and putting money/business before family- completely; without even trying to show a little compromise to get a little family-work balance. Hey, Katie needs her family too!

Lou is surprised to hear that Lou moved in... and kind of berates Jack for not telling her. Oh boy, what will she think when she hears about Mitch? Which I think is hilarious that Tim told her, out of all people, who has her back and made him park his trailer up the hill. Thanks Tim.

Lou does one thing right off the bat; hiring someone to take care of the Dude Ranch and Maggie’s while she’s gone, because she’s going to be gone more... okay maybe just Maggie’s because the Dude Ranch is kind of a mess and no one has been there (why is she surprised LOL). She’s finally doing something about what work she left behind to let Tim and everyone else pick up the slack, something even Casey notices. So good on ya Lou. 

I loved Jack being the audience and bringing up and asking if she’s going to be gone even more,and speaking for all of us that Georgie does miss her even if she doesn’t show it, because she’s strong. She needs her mother, even if she doesn’t show it (same can be said forAmy and Ty). He even brought up that because she’s going to be gone so much, why should she care about Mitch? It’s not always about Lou. Jack needed someone since Tim was picking up other work that Lou left behind.

When we finally runs into Mitch for the first time, we learn she called, texted and facebooked him. Guys. She facebooked him. I found that really funny for some reason I can’t quite place. This leads to Mitch finding out the real reason Lou “ran off” with Peter, and it’s probably there he realized he maybe was a bit harsh in his decision. Maybe just a little. Still, I don’t disagree with his decision to leave and let Lou figure out what she wants; I just disagree with how he did it. This seems to be the theme of my dislikes this season. HOW.

The ending montage with Mitch was so well done. I just think it was too rushed. First of all, they went from basically not talking to kissing and making up, literally in a few days span? Seems rushed. I hoped that Lou and Mitch would part as friends first, since he must know Lou is off again, and that leaves them in the same place as last year. I was also hoping Mitch wouldn’t jump right back into a relationship without really thinking of it. This end montage was the opposite of subtle, and the complete opposite of how they’re treating the Wyatt-Georgie relationship.

Tim and Amy springing wisdom onto Lou

“You cant do 3 months of parenting in 3 days” - Amy

“I think all your daughter’s need is their mother” - Tim

Onto Jen, I don’t blame her for being so intolerant of Jen being late; even Jen understood but I was glad when she gave her a second chance when she saw she could be a good fit. I think it was a win-win for Lou and Jen, who both go away with this knowing that Maggie’s is in good hands and that Jen has something to keep her from being a... smother. 

GEORGIE

When Lou comes back, Georgie correctly brings up the fact that Lou returns like nothing has changed and that it’s been hard for everyone to pick up the slack since Lou’s been gone. She also misses her long absent mother, but Lou has a remedy. Spend the Summer in NYC! Uh, as it was pointed out, wasn’t this a two week thing at one point? Why can’t she manage it from Hudson? The fact that it’s going well isn’t good for Lou’s prospects of being home with Georgie. 

It also made me wonder, doesn’t PETER have any input? Usually when there’s a divorce, the other parent has to approve the move, especially if it’s major or cuts into him spending time with his kids over the Summer? Does he even see his kids? Wouldn’t they have a seeing-kids schedule type thing that goes along with the divorce? So many questions. 

I love how she confides in Wyatt about her frustrations about Lou. They sure do seem to be spending a lot of time together and i’m soooo here for it. Friends, dating, whatever - I support this relationship. I like them together. I like the fact that the writers are taking their time with their relationship and keeping it simple, normal... so that we can actually get to know them- together and separate. Hey, we already know more about them than Caleb/Cass.. soooo.... 

In the end, Georgie decides to stay because she wants to continue to train with Flame and is going to miss home and family.. and especially Remi. Ugh. I can’t- and can’t help but laugh knowing that both of them knew what Wyatt was implying. But hey, I don’t blame her; I’d miss my dog too. 

Luckily, Lou understands their decision. This Maggie venture is Lou’s once in a lifetime, such is Flame to Georgie. Maybe she can always come up for a weekend visit once every week instead? And take Wyatt with her since he never got the trip? Surely there has to be another way then spending the whole Summer there. Anyways, i’m always glad to see mother and daughter bonding, since its so rare now.

Also. Probably my favourite conversation of the episode. I ship them. Way more than Adam and Georgie by far. How about that smile Wyatt gave when he heard Georgie was staying? Ugh. 

Georgie: “I decided to stay. I want to keep training Flame” 

Wyatt: “Is that all?” 

Georgie: “Yeah i’ll miss home and everyone here” 

Wyatt: “Anyone in particular?”

Georgie: “Like Remi, my dog” 

CALEB

Caleb made a miniature mistake and bought (mini) broncs for the rodeo school because he takes his job seriously. He may have gotten the broncs for 1/3 of the price... but there’s a reason why. They’re miniature, and Katie loves them!

“No room for cute at my rodeo school” - Tim

Caleb tries to remedy the situation and gets Tim to agree to one little mini clinic to use the mini broncs- Hey its another way to take in income!, but since Tim has learnt from the last time, he tells Caleb he won’t have anything to do with it. Unluckily for Caleb, he doesn’t do kids either, so he asks Amy to help; via bribes.

The first class, it was clear Caleb was in over his head. He unwisely relents and lets them ride the mini broncs before practising. Me at the time thinks that wasn’t such a good idea, which is proven when a kid actually breaks their arm. Ouch, he’s lucky no one sued him.

Luckily, the second time, it was Amy to the rescue! She wisely takes a step back on a more ‘tame’ horse and it ends up going much better; even so when they get back on the broncs everyone stays on a little longer and no one breaks a leg (and they wisely lift up the kids from the horses before they fall!)

I can just imagine the stage direction for the first class. “Uh, just got act crazy and play with stuff and we’ll film it.” Easiest direction ever. 

Also. More rodeo school stories please, I love the Caleb-Tim interaction!

KATIE

“Can i go on one of your horses Caleb?” It’s actually adorable how she asked that and then got on the bronc and found it so much fun, even when she fell off. She really did take after Tim/Amy.  

I also thought that her reaction to meeting her hero, Mitch was adorable and then Tim introducing Brick to Katie, and then Katie showing Brick the ropes... and literally getting tied in them was just precious. It’s nice to see Brick coming out of his shell.

Can I also mention how cute Katie was when she greeted Georgie and said she brought her something back from NYC? I need more sister time! Katie was basically just really really cute this whole episode. 

LISA & JACK

Jack couldn’t sleep because Lisa got a new memory foam mattress (just LOL); he also just wants to brush his teeth but Lisa needs the washroom to put on a face mask. He is also washing the blenders that Lisa used for her smoothies because she didn’t wash it right away; and she put all his fly fishing in a box. 

I find it comical that Jack couldn’t sleep because of the new mattress, and also kind of weird that Jack isn’t used to waiting for the washroom since he used to live with basically all girls; I mean when Lou, Amy, Katie, Marion and Ty used to live there, how did he survive with one washroom? I can’t help but think that that his reaction to that incident was compounded with the others.

And my response to “Maybe we rushed into this?”Ummm you’ve been married for two years, you definitely did NOT rush into it. But, it will take time to get used to each other’s habits, as Lou said, its a whole different ball game, and I have no doubt that they will work through it. Together. I mean at one point didn’t they both have spouses and live together with someone else? 

AMY

This episode wasn’t as Amy heavy as others, mostly dealing with that one scene where she struggled to take care of Lyndy, wash her hair and manage her phone calls. And I’m glad; other characters came to the forefront and I think they really did need to dedicate more time to Lou since she’s going to off again soon. 

So, all I’ll say is, at least Amy and Ty can Skype in the same timezone now, call each other (yay for Canada wide calling) and he doesn’t seem to be in the middle of a desert, so thats a plus I guess. I could tell Amy might have started to regret telling Ty to go, but if she did, she never let Ty know. Perhaps because it’s she who brought it up, so she really does have no right to say “You shouldn’t have gone”, but she can always go with “I miss you, can’t wait till you’re home. It’s hard without you”. 

Oh well, not many complaints here. I guess it was nice to see Lou and Amy bonding over being “single” mothers? I guess? Even though they’re extremely different circumstances and one really isn’t single. And as always, it’s proven that Amy is the one who should be leading these little britches/kids rodeo schools, not Caleb/Tim. 

HONOURABLE MENTION

I may not have liked the last scene’s content as much as I have because I still don’t think Mitch should go running back to Lou... since we know she’s gonna be off to NYC but 10/10 for the lighting and cinematography. Just beautiful. 

Also, a mention to Wyatt. Because you may have been on way less episodes than Adam, but I already like you and Georgie together waaay better than Adam and Georgie. So yeah. 

SONGS IN THIS EPISODE

When I Get There - Cheryl Rider

Timbuku- Cree Rider

Number Two - Misisipi Mike

This Town - Niall Horan

NEXT EPISODE

Uh cloning horses? What? Since when is this a thing? In any case, I’m glad for another Lisa storyline

[emilyl-b]

12 Reasons You Shouldn't Invest in best keyboard for beginners

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote greater than ten years in the past, the lady who arrived to become known only because the piano Instructor provided what, in hindsight, looks like an eerie glimpse of her very own upcoming.

Im moving away these days to a place so far-off, the place no person understands my title, she wrote while in the lyrics of the music named Shifting.

When she wrote that music, she was young and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance audio writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, lengthy walks and every thing about New York.

On a kind of beloved walks, by Central Park in the bright Sunlight of the June day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to daily life. Following the assault, the terms to her tune came real. She moved away, out of Ny city, outside of her old lifetime, and all but her closest close friends did not know her identify. To the rest of the environment, she was — just like the additional renowned jogger attacked in Central Park 7 several years before — an anonymous image of an urban nightmare. She was the piano Instructor.

Now, about the tenth anniversary of your attack, she is celebrating what seems to be her complete recovery from brain trauma. She's forty two, married, with a little boy or girl. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Trainer, and she wants to explain to her story, her way.

Her medical professional informed her it would acquire 10 years to Recuperate, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I really feel my lifetime has actually been redefined by Central Park, she said numerous days back, her voice comfortable and hopeful. Before park; right after park. Will there at any time be a time After i dont Assume, Oh, This is actually the tenth anniversary, the 11th anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch household in a wooded subdivision within a Big apple suburb. She sat within a dining place strewn with toys, surrounded by images of her cherubic, dim-haired 2-yr-previous daughter. A Steinway grand loaded fifty percent the home, and at just one point she sat down and performed. Her taking part in was forceful, but she seemed embarrassed to play quite a lot of bars, and shrugged, instead of answering, when requested the identify of your piece. She questioned that her daughter and her town not be named.

She calls that working day, June four, 1996, the working day After i was harm.

Hers was the 1st in a very string of assaults by a similar guy on four Girls above 8 days. The last victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was overwhelmed to Loss of life as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to existence in prison.

Still the attack around the piano Instructor could be the one particular people today look to keep in mind by far the most. Section of the fascination should do with echoes of the 1989 attack around the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened folks in a method the attack within the jogger didn't mainly because its situation ended up so mundane.

It did not happen inside of a distant Component of the park late in the evening, but in close proximity to a well-liked playground at 3 while in the afternoon. It might have occurred to any individual. The tension was heightened by the secret of the piano teachers id.

For three times, as police and doctors tried using to see who she was, she lay within a coma in her hospital bed, anonymous. Her parents have been on holiday vacation and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Eventually, among her students recognized a law enforcement sketch and was ready to discover her from the healthcare facility by her fingers, for the reason that her confront was swollen over and above recognition. The police didn't release her name.

The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is providing a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Avenue, then putting her extensive hair inside of a ponytail and heading out for just a walk. She will not don't forget the assault, Despite the fact that she has heard the accounts of the law enforcement and prosecutors.

To me its just like a fact I learned and memorized, she said. As if I were a scholar in school studying record.

She would not think of The person who did it. I might need been angry for a second, although not a lot longer than that, she said. How could I be angry at John Royster? He was declared not insane, but I suppose by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at The big apple Healthcare facility-Cornell Healthcare Center, as it was recognized in 1996, told reporters that she had a ten per cent chance of survival. Doctors experienced to remove her forehead bone, which was later changed, for making space for her swelling Mind. When her mom built a community appeal to pray for my daughter, thousands did.

Soon after eight times, she arrived out of a coma, 1st in a vegetative condition, then in a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept tiny and talked continually, at times in gibberish. I had been having mad at persons if they didnt respond to these text, she stated.

Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she had minor limited-expression memory and would neglect site visitors as soon as they remaining the room.

Above a number of months, she had to relearn ways to stroll, costume, read through and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, visited every day to Engage in guitar for her. He inspired her to play the piano, towards the recommendation of her Actual physical therapists, who believed she might be annoyed by her inability to Perform how she after had. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets together with her, actively playing the left-hand section when she played the ideal.

Which was my most effective therapy, she said.

In August, she moved back dwelling to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mother, a schoolteacher. She frequented old haunts and known as mates, hoping to revive her shattered memory. I was very obsessed with remembering, she claimed. Any memory decline was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists imagined her development was wonderful, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she were.

What bothered her most was that she experienced misplaced the opportunity to cry, as if a faucet inside her brain were turned off. One particular night time, nine months just after she was hurt, she stayed up late to watch the John Grisham Motion picture A The perfect time to Get rid of. Just soon after her father had long gone to bed, she viewed a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on demo for killing two Males who experienced raped his younger daughter.

The faucet opened, as well as the tears trickled down her cheeks. I considered my mothers and fathers, my father, and what they went by, she said. Little by minimal, my sensation returned, my depth of brain returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went again to highschool and received a masters diploma in new music schooling.

Not every little thing went well. She and Mr. Scherr split up five years once the attack, though they continue to be mates. She dated other men, but she constantly instructed them with regard to the assault without delay — she couldn't enable it, she explained — they usually hardly ever referred to as for any second date.

We have now to locate you anyone, her Buddy David Phelps, a guitar player, said four a long time ago, just before introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and newbie drummer. For at the time, she didn't say nearly anything concerning the attack till she got to be aware of Mr. McCann, then when she did, he admired her energy.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had frequently frequented her at her bedside though she was in the medical center, married them in his Times Square Workplace. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Though she was pregnant, in a very burst of creativeness, she and her buddies recorded Though Were being Youthful, an album of childrens tracks that she had prepared prior to the assault, such as the music Shifting. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, manufactured the CD. On it, her spouse plays drums and she plays electrical piano.

Is her lifetime as it was? Not precisely, however she is reluctant to attribute the dissimilarities to her accidents. Her final two piano students left her, without having contacting to elucidate why, she claimed. She has resumed playing classical new music, but straightforward pieces, because her daughter would not give her time for you to practice. As for jazz, I dont even consider, she explained.

She would want to travel extra, experience stranded while in the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She tries to be articles with keeping residence and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a medical professor of neurological surgical procedure at what on earth is now referred to as Big apple-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Heart, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann following the attack, stated last week that her amount of Restoration was exceptional. Shes mainly ordinary, he stated.

Other professionals, who are not personally aware of Ms. Kevorkian McCanns circumstance, tend to be more cautious.

Regaining the ability to Participate in the piano may perhaps entail an Nearly mechanical system, a semiautomatic recall of exactly what the fingers must do, claimed Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of clinical rehabilitation medicine at Ny University Faculty of Drugs. After brain-injured, you happen to be generally brain-wounded, For the remainder of your lifetime, Dr. Ben-Yishay said. There isn't any remedy, there is only intensive payment.

The greater telling Component of a Restoration, in his perspective, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and boy or girl as a significant victory.

For her element, the piano Trainer is familiar with she has changed, but she has made her peace with it. I used to be form of a hyper —— I dont know if I used to be a Type A, but I used to be formidable, she claims. Why was I so formidable? I used to be a piano teacher. I dont really know what the ambition was about. I actually did come back to the individual Im speculated to be.

[homestuckcanonconfirmer]

9 Things Your Parents Taught You About best keyboard for learning piano

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote much more than ten years in the past, the woman who arrived for being regarded only given that the piano teacher supplied what, in hindsight, seems like an eerie glimpse of her possess upcoming.

Im going absent now to a location so far-off, exactly where no person is familiar with my title, she wrote while in the lyrics of the track identified as Relocating.

When she wrote that tune, she was young and vivacious, a piano Instructor and freelance tunes author who loved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river sounds, prolonged walks and every little thing about New York.

On a kind of beloved walks, by Central Park in the brilliant Sunshine of the June working day in 1996, a homeless drifter defeat her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to life. Following the assault, the text to her music arrived genuine. She moved absent, out of New York City, from her previous life, and all but her closest pals did not know her identify. To the rest of the earth, she was -- much like the far more well-known jogger attacked in Central Park seven yrs previously -- an anonymous image of the city nightmare. She was the piano teacher.

Now, around the tenth anniversary on the attack, she's celebrating what appears to be her complete Restoration from Mind trauma. She is forty two, married, with a small child. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and she wants to tell her Tale, her way.

Her health practitioner told her it might consider ten years to Get better, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I really feel my daily life has become redefined by Central Park, she mentioned numerous days ago, her voice smooth and hopeful. In advance of park; immediately after park. Will there ever certainly be a time when I dont think, Oh, Here is the tenth anniversary, the 11th anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch household within a wooded subdivision inside of a The big apple suburb. She sat inside a dining place strewn with toys, surrounded by pictures of her cherubic, dark-haired two-yr-previous daughter. A Steinway grand filled 50 % the area, and at 1 point she sat down and performed. Her participating in was forceful, but she appeared embarrassed to play more than a few bars, and shrugged, as an alternative to answering, when asked the title from the piece. She questioned that her daughter and her town not be named.

She phone calls that day, June four, 1996, the working day After i was harm.

Hers was the main within a string of attacks by the same guy on 4 women over eight times. The final target, Evelyn Alvarez, sixty five, was overwhelmed to Demise as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleaning shop, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in jail.

Still the attack within the piano Instructor is definitely the 1 people today seem to keep in mind one of the most. Component of the fascination needs to do with echoes from the 1989 attack to the Central Park jogger. But What's more, it frightened people today in a means the assault to the jogger did not because its instances ended up so mundane.

It didn't occur within a distant Section of the park late in the evening, but around a preferred playground at three in the afternoon. It might have took place to anyone. The strain was heightened from the mystery of your piano academics identification.

For 3 times, as police and Physicians tried out to find out who she was, she lay inside of a coma in her clinic mattress, nameless. Her mother and father ended up on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Finally, one among her pupils regarded a law enforcement sketch and was able to discover her during the hospital by her fingers, simply because her experience was swollen beyond recognition. The police didn't launch her identify.

The last thing she remembers about June four, 1996, is supplying a lesson in her studio apartment on West 57th Road, then putting her very long hair in the ponytail and heading out for your wander. She isn't going to bear in mind the assault, Whilst she has listened to the accounts in the police and prosecutors.

To me its just like a truth I discovered and memorized, she stated. As if I were being a college student in class finding out heritage.

She isn't going to consider the man who did it. I might have been indignant to get a minute, although not for much longer than that, she mentioned. How could I be angry at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I assume by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Heart, as it had been identified in 1996, informed reporters that she experienced a 10 % chance of survival. Health professionals had to get rid of her forehead bone, which was afterwards changed, for making place for her swelling brain. When her mother created a community attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.

After eight times, she arrived out of a coma, first in a very vegetative point out, then in a childlike point out. As she recovered, she slept little and talked regularly, at times in gibberish. I was getting mad at individuals once they didnt reply to these words, she claimed.

Like an Alzheimers patient, she experienced tiny limited-expression memory and would fail to remember site visitors the moment they still left the room.

Over many months, she had to relearn ways to stroll, gown, read through and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every day to Enjoy guitar for her. He encouraged her to Enjoy the piano, towards the advice of her physical therapists, who imagined she might be discouraged by her incapacity to Participate in how she when had. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets together with her, actively playing the left-hand part even though she performed the correct.

That was my most effective therapy, she claimed.

In August, she moved back again residence to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She frequented outdated haunts and identified as friends, seeking to restore her shattered memory. I had been incredibly obsessed with remembering, she stated. Any memory decline was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists considered her development was wonderful, but her two sisters protested that she was not the deep thinker she had been.

What bothered her most was that she had misplaced a chance to cry, as if a faucet inside of her brain had been turned off. A person evening, nine months right after she was damage, she stayed up late to observe the John Grisham Motion picture A Time and energy to Get rid of. Just after her father experienced gone to bed, she viewed a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two men who had raped his youthful daughter.

The faucet opened, along with the tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought of my mother and father, my father, and the things they went through, she claimed. Tiny by minor, my sensation returned, my depth of brain returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back to highschool and acquired a masters degree in audio training.

Not everything went properly. She and Mr. Scherr break up up five years once the assault, however they remain friends. She dated other Gentlemen, but she always informed them concerning the assault instantly -- she could not support it, she stated -- and they by no means called for any second day.

Now we have to locate you someone, her Pal David Phelps, a guitar player, stated 4 several years back, right before introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and newbie drummer. For once, she didn't say nearly anything with regard to the attack till she acquired to find out Mr. McCann, then when she did, he admired her strength.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had normally frequented her at her bedside though she was in the hospital, married them in his Situations Square Workplace. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Whilst she was pregnant, within a burst of creative imagination, she and her close friends recorded When Had been Youthful, an album of childrens music that she experienced prepared prior to the attack, such as the music Moving. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, generated the CD. On it, her spouse plays drums and she or he performs electric powered piano.

Is her lifetime as it absolutely was? Not accurately, while she is hesitant to attribute the variations to her injuries. Her final two piano pupils still left her, with no contacting to clarify why, she reported. She has resumed enjoying classical music, but straightforward pieces, since her daughter isn't going to give her time and energy to practice. As for jazz, I dont even consider, she said.

She would like to drive extra, sensation stranded from the suburbs, but she is well rattled. She tries to be content material with keeping property and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a medical professor of neurological medical procedures at what is now referred to as NewYork-Presbyterian Medical center/Weill Cornell Health care Heart, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann following the assault, reported very last 7 days that her degree of recovery was uncommon. Shes generally usual, he explained.

Other professionals, who're not personally informed about Ms. Kevorkian McCanns situation, tend to be more careful.

Regaining the opportunity to Engage in the piano may well require an Just about mechanical procedure, a semiautomatic recall of what the fingers really need to do, explained Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of scientific rehabilitation medicine at Big apple College Faculty of Drugs. Once brain-hurt, you might be usually Mind-hurt, for the rest of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay said. There is not any overcome, There's only intense compensation.

The more telling Portion of a Restoration, in his view, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and boy or girl as a substantial victory.

For her aspect, the piano Instructor is aware she has altered, but she has designed her peace with it. I was kind of a hyper ---- I dont know if I had been a sort A, but I used to be formidable, she suggests. Why was I so bold? I had been a piano teacher. I dont determine what the ambition was about. I actually did return to the person Im designed to be.

Correction: June thirteen, 2006, Tuesday An post on Thursday about Kyle Kevorkian McCann, a piano Instructor who was beaten and sexually assaulted ten years ago in Central Park, misstated the title of her album of childrens tracks. It truly is Whilst Have been Youthful, not When Were being Young.

[bonnissance]

fanfic ask: F, H, K :)

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

The grave side conversation from you disappear like your cigarette smoke (now the taste of your kiss is all that remains) (canon compliant angsty af) 

She stops at Elinor’s grave, bends down to add her flowers to Jason’s bouquet, talks as she kneels beside the tombstone.

“Hi, Ellie, um, I mean Elinor, it’s, ah, been a while.” Bernie laughs, a touch wet, and shakes her head at her own folly. “Sorry, I’ve never been very good with grave sides, usually avoided them once I was out of uniform, always thought graves were for the family,” she says as she stands and buries her hands in her pockets.

“They are, really, but not all families are blood…and, well you are family, in a roundabout sort of way. Or you would have been, if things had been different.” She nibbles on her bottom lip, feels her eye burn. “I wish we’d have been family,” she whispers, harsh and broken, and tries to suck in too much air for her constricted throat. 

“I wish I could’ve gotten to know you better, I think if we’d had more time we would have gotten on rather well, don’t you?” She chuckles again, wet and hollow. “Like a house on fire, always butting head, I’m sure.” She smiles at the memory of the few begrudgingly polite conversations they’d managed to have. She knows they would have gotten on in the end.

“There was a lot I liked about you, you know, bright and clever and headstrong. You were so talented and fierce…you were so like your mother.” She breaks off, haggard breathing, tries to slow it enough to keep going. “You know, I’m not even sure I think you might be out there somewhere—or whether you’re just nowhere anymore—but if you are there and sort of, floating around…could you keep an eye on her, please, if you can?” 

She breathes deep, deeper, still can’t quite calm herself completely. She goes on anyway. 

“I know you might be mad, that she doesn’t visit, but I know she would if she could manage it. She had to leave—maybe she told you before she left? I don’t know, I don’t even know where she is—but losing you was, too much and she loved you so much that she had to leave,” Bernie blurts out in a rush, tears burning in her eyes. “You know she loves you very much, and you know she’ll always miss you, so if you can, can you visit her, sometimes, wherever the both of you are in the world? Please?” Her eyes water, sting, weep and she lets them as she pays the last of her respects.

“I hope that wherever you are you’re happy— God, not, not happy, I mean, but—content, at peace. I hope that you’re at peace, Elinor Campbell, and that you know how just how much you’re loved and just how much you’re missed.”

Bernie rocks her heels as she sucks in a shaky breath. She pulls her hands out of her pockets: swipes at her cheeks, smooths down her shirt, pulls her coat a little tighter around her chest. She nods at Elinor’s gravestone, turns tails, and walks back to the car with her eyes still burning.  

~

This scene required a lot of tears. I cried when the thought occurred to me, I cried when I was writing it - I had keep taking breaks in between paragraphs bc i couldn’t see the screen -  and I cried when I was editing, when I did one final read thru of the finished scene.

I even cried just thinking about the finished scene. I also managed to make at least five, and probs closer to 10, other ppl cry. And those are just the ones who told me.

I’m proud of the effort I put in to writing it, I’m proud of the emotion I managed to embed in it, and I’m proud of the response it evoked. The snippet just makes me really proud.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Bernie trapped in a groundhog day of Elinor dying ~2300wrds mature (possibly explicit for mental health themes+character deaths?). major character deaths (All the major characters [there a lot of car accidents + a pulverised hand at one point, if that’s a no no for some ppl]), serious mental health issues, sexual content+bittersweet happy times, angst w no happy ending.) 

shout out to @ktlsyrtis for beta-ing and I’m sorry I made u cry at work ❤️

Bernie thought she’d lived the worst day of her life: the day she found Serena by Jason’s hospital bed, stood in the doorway with face full of regret, to shatter Serena’s heart without a word. She thought she’d lived it, that day was over, thought it was done.

She was wrong. It happened again. Then again, and again, and again.

It’s the only thing that happens now.

She doesn’t know how, or why, just that this is it: the only day she lives, over and again.

It always ends the same, with Elinor dying and Serena breaking; that’s the only way it ever ends, on a continuous, never-ending loop.

*

It starts the same way, every day, the same as before: Bernie wakes up with a smiling Serena in her arms and watches her become a hollowed out husk by day’s end.

She tries to change it, tries to save them; she tries everything she can to save them. Takes Jasmine to surgery with her, leaving Morven on AAU; hopes a more experienced doctor will catch the signs. Sends Raf in to Jason’s surgery with strict instructions and does Ellie’s obvs herself, only to find she’s already too late and Jason doesn’t make it. Races through Jason’s surgery with practiced hand and rushes down to the ward to do everything herself only for Elinor to code before neuro can get the clot.

Nothing works. Elinor always dies. Sometimes Jason does too. One day Serena sits by her daughter’s deathbed and loses both of her children in a single afternoon.

She makes Raf ask about organ harvesting.

*

She thought that was worst of it, those days were the worst of all; the days when Serena loses them both, when Bernie loses them all.

Until Serena gets hurt.

They won’t let her operate; won’t let her help. They have to lock her in the family room to stop her torturing herself watching Raf and Morven and Jac and Mo try their best to try save the women she loves when she can’t do a thing to help.

Their best isn’t good enough and she never makes it off the table.

Bernie walks into the empty theatre, clean and shining, not a trace left behind. But she swears she can still feel Serena in the room, still feel her near the wall by the sink, under the window where they first kissed. She sinks to the floor and prays she’ll wake up with the feeling of Serena in her arms. Leans up against the wall and prays, staring into the space where Serena once sat, until she feels Serena slipping away.

She doesn’t move, even then, not even when security comes to usher her out.

It takes four of them and a dislocated shoulder before she’s forcibly removed from the theatre.

*

She wakes up with a bundle of Serena beside her, a familiar crop of hair tickling her nose, and blinks back tears. She breathes in, snuggles closer, clings tighter. Just five more minutes; she’s got the time, just five minutes more.

She tries to keep Serena back for five minutes, keep her from running after Elinor for five minutes.

Not that it helps. Elinor gets them both that day: lacerates Jason’s liver with the bonnet and pulverises Serena’s hand with a front wheel.

Jason survives. Serena doesn’t. Can’t, really, not without her hand.

‘I might as well be dead,’ she spits at Bernie. ‘If I can’t operate, I’d rather be dead.’

Bernie feels bile rise, sickening, coats her throat.

She listens when Serena tells her to go and leaves the ward and lets Elinor die on the bathroom floor. She hears Jasmine’s calls for help echo through the corridor and can’t even bring herself to care.

*

She starts skiving off. Bernie Wolfe hasn’t shirked responsibility a day in her life but something’s broken inside her. She knows it’s her heart, her soul that’s shattered, slicing right through to her core. She needs to get away.

She wakes at the crack of dawn to watch Serena sleep, peaceful and content, for those last few precious moments, before getting up. Gets out of bed, gets dressed, gets in the car and drives.

Some days she tracks down Cam and does her best to withstand an afternoon with him and his new girlfriend. She’s a few years younger than Keeley, and didn’t know him growing up, so she thinks that’s some progress at least. Other days she shuffles uncomfortably on Charlotte’s couch while her daughter offers her tea so she doesn’t have to look her in the eyes. Most days she just drives till she falls asleep at the wheel; wakes up in a ditch, up a tree, not at all.

She likes those days most of all, when she’s tired to the bone and then nothing and she wakes up well-rested in Serena’s bed. Because no matter how fast she drives, how far she runs, how far away from Holby she makes it, Bernie always, always wakes up in Serena’s bed where she belongs.

Eventually, she resigns herself to living here, in this loop, where she belongs.

*

It’s been 412 days since she’s fallen asleep beside Serena.

They wake up together every morning but not once, in all those days, has Serena left the hospital. Not once, in all those days, has Bernie taken Serena home. Not once, in all those days, has Bernie taken Serena to bed, to sleep.

Today, Elinor hits Jason and her head on the windscreen and careens into Serena’s unconscious body. None of them survive.

She has to stop this.

She has to stop them.

It’s been 413 days since she last fell asleep beside Serena.

*

She has to stop them getting hurt, she can stop them, Bernie realises, if she stops the conversation that sent Elinor running from the hospital in the first place.

She tries, plays the peacekeeper, bites her tongue; does her best to keep them all in the hospital.

It never works. Elinor always loses her temper. Eventually Bernie loses hers too.

For all she’s never married Serena, never called Elinor her daughter, she gives a damn good impression of an evil stepmother: tells Elinor exactly what she thinks about her petty, pathetic temper tantrum and the way she speaks to Serena and her obvious need for emotional therapy.

Bernie ignores the shocked, disbelieving look on Serena’s face when she calls Elinor a homophobe and drug addict; promises herself she’ll fix anything she’s just broken, if she gets the chance, if this is what needs to happen to fix something that’s been broken for far too long.

It isn’t: Serena is in the passenger seat when a frantic pedestrian on their way to ED runs in front of the car.

Bernie doesn’t bother scrubbing in for any of them.

*

She tries to keep them away from the hospital. Calls them all in sick. None of them listen. They go to work and Elinor still visits and Jason almost dies.

She invites Elinor out for brunch, convinces Serena she has the day off, that she planned it all to bury the hatchet.

She isn’t surprised Elinor is late, but she would have expected her to call and cancel, or at least pick up the phone. They wait till 1:30 before giving up. They pick up some coffee and pastries on the way out and spend the afternoon spoiling each other rotten on the living room floor. Jason’s not back till 6.

There’s a knock at 5:01. Bernie opens the front door to two women in blue. They regret to inform her that Elinor Campbell was in a road traffic accident earlier that day, a multi-car pile up. She was dead before the paramedics arrived on the scene.

‘We’re very sorry for your loss.’

Bernie thought she hadn’t any heart left to break. She was wrong. The wail that comes out of Serena is like nothing Bernie has ever heard and another part of her dies too.

*

She convinces Serena to stay with her one day, away from the hospital, with her fingers and mouth and silver tongue.

‘We’ll never make it out of bed at this rate.’

Good. If she has her way Serena would never leave this bed again.

‘Sounds marvellous, lets do that.’

‘Stop it you, we’ll be late.’

‘Who cares?’

‘Bernie!’

She also enlists the aid of a pair of very fluffy handcuffs Sian bought them for Christmas.

‘Bernie, what on Earth!’ Serena pulls on the cuffs and looks at Bernie, bewildered.

‘I got you the day off,’ she lies, nuzzling into Serena’s neck. ‘To make up for missing your birthday. It’s mine soon and I know you’re going to spoil me - don’t lie - and it doesn’t seem fair if I haven’t pampered you first. I thought we could spend the morning in bed, and go anywhere you like this afternoon, and after Jason comes home we’ll go to mine to have a quiet night in, with no telly, if you like?’ Bernie looks up at Serena’s glittering, gobsmacked face; looks at her blinking down at Bernie, disbelieving. ‘Umm, surprise?’

‘You’re mad. Absolutely mad,’ Serena says, beaming, eyes sparkling and smiling bright. ‘You could have given me some warning, you know! You’re just lucky I love you,’ she adds, shuffling to sit up.

Bernie stops her, she hasn’t heard that in so long.

She sobs, eyes burning, buries her forehead in Serena’s neck. Pins her to the bed and says ‘I love you, too.’

*

It’s perfect, the whole day, one shining perfect day.

She spends the whole of it in bed with Serena. Only gets out of it to nick Serena’s phone–she shoots off a text to Elinor: ‘wont be at work today, wanted to let u know jic u might have dropped by later.’ She reads the ‘cheers was thinking of it might drop by tomorrow tho’ and sighs in relief, prays she’ll see Ellie tomorrow–to switch it off before getting back into bed.

The rest of the morning is spent trying every sweet, delicious thing she’s ever thought of, the early afternoon on every filthy, vicious thing she’d never been brave enough to ask for, till her mind goes fuzzy and she can barely more.

Her body has never ached so good.

She makes them breakfast in bed mid-afternoon: feeds Serena a syrup covered strawberry, licks the maple from the corner of her mouth, kisses the taste of french toast from her tongue.

Bernie sinks back into the mattress, against the soft of the pillows and the warm of the sheets, and wonders why it took her so long to figure this out, wonders if they could have spent all this time reliving their perfect day.

She looks at Serena hovering over her, eyes sparkling and smiling bright, and can’t feel anything other than gratitude, to have finally figured it out, to have this now, to be able to have this again.

It’s not enough, but it is something. And that will have to be enough.

*

Their bodies give out soon after and they nap until Serena’s alarm goes off.

They pick Jason up from work and pick up dinner on the way. They explain that they won’t be in the house tonight, reason that them being elsewhere won’t interfere with any of his schedules. He’s not pleased about the last minute addendum to his night and sulks a little.

Bernie can’t bring herself to care, not today, not after today.

She tells Serena to call Ellie, when they drop Jason home, to ask if she’s coming to see her tomorrow, asks Serena to see how she is. Serena hangs up mumbling about Elinor being ‘her usual irritating self’ and Bernie breathes a sigh of relief, lets out the tension she’s been holding for months, feels lighter than she has in years.

She leans across the gearstick, takes Serena’s hand, kisses Serena’s cheek.

‘She’ll come round,’ Bernie reassures her, thinking about tomorrow. If they have the time, they’re bound to figure it out, she knows they will. ‘I’m sure of it.’

Serena smiles and nods and keeps hold of Bernie’s hand the whole trip to her flat.

They curl up on the couch, parcels of fish and chips in their laps, and the tang of vinegar in their noses. They smile at each other in between mouthfuls, after every sip of wine, before every stolen chip.

Bernie scrunches up the newspaper, wipes her greasy hands dry, and dumps the ball on the coffee table to deal with later. Looks up at Serena finishing the last of her cod and says ‘I love you’ for the dozenth time today.

Serena pins her with a stare. ‘What’s your game?’ she asks suspiciously. ‘You’re not angling for a dog or anything, are you? Because anyone would think you were trying to bribe me…’ she trails off with a smile as Bernie shakes her head.

‘No game. I’ve got everything I want,’ Bernie replies innocently, grinning wide. ‘Well, mostly,’ she adds, glint in her eye as she smooths her palm over Serena’s hip.

Serena giggles, swats at Bernie’s shoulder, calls her a sap and kisses her soundly.

‘Well, we can’t leave you wanting, can we,’ she mumbles against Bernie’s lips when she breaks away. ‘I think it’s time you took me to bed, Ms. Wolfe.’

Bernie does: leads her up the hall and into the bedroom and makes love to her till neither of them can bear to move. She tells her she loves her one last time, as she curls up behind her her, before drifting off with a smile on her face.

She falls asleep excited to wake up in her own bed, ready to live out the first day of the rest of her life.

*

She wakes up the next morning in Serena’s bed.

[settingorange]

Bulletproof Heart

Thought I’d try my hand at SP7 GTA stuff lmao, sorry if it’s bad and you hate it!

Word count: 3,393

Pairings: Parker/Andrew/Jeremy, trace amount of Steven/Parker

Warnings: Violence, minor character death, implied major character death

At first Parker didn’t notice anything was wrong. It wasn’t unlike Steven do go days, or even weeks without calling him. He wasn’t a necessity on most crew activities. And after little slip up on their last mission a month without contact was nothing. A bullet gone off at the wrong time, landing Cib a trip to the hospital and suddenly they don’t need him around anymore. It was as if Steven forgot all the times Parker executed things flawlessly, no questions asked.

He didn’t need them anyway. Jeremy and Andrew knew what he was capable of, and they appreciated him for it. He spent every day with his boys. Wrecking shop, creating chaos for the fun of it. Parker couldn’t help the rush he got seeing the fear in some lowly gang members eyes as he threatened him, Jeremy and Andrew standing guard behind him. They always laughed about it afterwards. And every Friday, without fail, was movie night. Be it Schindler’s List or any number of Disney films they owned on DVD, the trio would curl up on the couch at precisely 8 pm with a big bowl of popcorn.

Which is why at 8:45 on this particular Friday Parker sat, leaning forward, hands on his chin, leg bouncing. No call, no note, nothing. He hadn’t seen either of them for a few days but he was sure they’d make it here. If it were Steve or Cib or even Autumn he wouldn’t worry so much, but Jeremy and Andrew would never forget about movie night. He glanced at his phone for the hundredth time that half hour. Nothing.

“Fuck it,” he whispered, dialling Steven’s number.

“Hello?”

“Steven hey, it’s Parker, I was just calling to see-”

“You’ve reached Steven Suptic, leave a message and stop calling here.”

A dial tone beeped and parker hung up. Typical Steven. He  decided to try Autumn. She certainly wouldn’t ignore him. He pushed call and almost immediately the phone went to voicemail. That’s odd. Autumn always answered his calls first ring. And she always had her phone on her. He called everyone in Steven’s crew but nobody answered. Everyone went straight to voicemail.

Parker waited around a bit more. Maybe he was seeing a disaster where there wasn’t one. Steven could be having everyone freeze him out. Jeremy and Andrew could be taking longer than expected on a clean up mission. But another hour slowly ticked by and he was met with radio silence. Foot bouncing he called his last resort.

Several rings later a man with a gruff voice answered, “Hello?”

“Geoff? Geoff Ramsey?” Parker gulped. He’d never actually spoken with the guy, and he sounded scarier than he looked. Which was saying something.

“Who’s asking?”

“M-my names Parker, I’m with Suptic’s crew and I uh-”

“Suptic?” Geoff’s voice softened. “One of those pine boys?”

“Yes. Well, sometimes. Sort of, mostly. I uh, well I-”

“You’re in some serious trouble kid, you know that?”

“I was afraid of that,” Parker sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Geoff wouldn’t explain over the phone. Wouldn’t say much besides, “You’re in trouble.” He insisted on meeting Parker in person to tell him what he knew about his missing friends. Parker had done his share of intimidation routines, and he could be off putting at least, most of the time. But this was the Geoff Ramsey and he didn’t have his boys to back him up. Things could go horribly wrong. If the Fakes had an issue with him, his odds of survival weren’t great. He shook off his  fears and donned his best suit and Jeremy’s sunglasses. Fake it till you make it, Parker. He slipped a handgun into the small of his back. Knives in sleeves. A vial of poison in the heel of his shoe. Jeremy always said to never go in unarmed, even friends can be persuaded to turn for the right price. Parker had no reason to particularly distrust the fakes but no reason to trust them either. A message dinged on his laptop. He assumed it was from Geoff, giving him directions. His eyes widened as he read an email from a familiar address. It was going to be one hell of a night.

He pulled up to the nondescript gray building, having turned his headlights off halfway down the street on the way here as instructed. Waiting for him outside the front of the building was the one who he supposed they called the Golden Boy. Parker thought he looked like a real asshole, wearing those golden shades at night. Upon realizing he too was wearing sunglasses he sighed and got out of the car.

“Parker?” The Brit asked, his voice somehow suggestive, although all he said was a name.

“Who else?” Parker shrugged and put on a fake smile. “I take it you’re not Geoff.”

“‘Course not love, can’t have the boss waiting out here on the street like a pleb. Let’s get you inside shall we?” charming words rolled off of Gavin’s tongue. Parker could see how this man could easily undo the will of many a weaker man or woman.

“I’d like nothing more than to be inside,” Parker winked.

“You know I could have Geoff postpone this meeting, you and I could go off and have a little fun of our own. You’re attractive enough, I s’pose,” the words fell lightly on Parkers ears.

“Are you sure our pal Rimmy up there won’t mind?” Parker said with a smirk.

“W-what? Whaddya mean you bell end? How do you know bout-” Parker held a knife to the thin mans throat.

“Cut the shit England. You’re gonna unlock the door and take me to Geoff and if you call for Michael at any point I won’t hesitate to end your life right there,” Parker growled. He had already taken out their sniper. What kind of idiots had their sniper clad in purple and orange. It didn’t matter he needed the information Geoff had. And he knew the fakes wouldn’t just give it up.

“Alright!” Gavin squawked. He fumbled the keys and they fell onto the ground. He gasped as Parker dug the knife into his arm and tossed him aside.

“On second thought, I’ll just let myself in. Get out of here if you know what’s best for you,” Parker calmly unlocked the door and strode in. His heart was pounding. The clock was ticking. His crew had been missing for too long. They don’t always live this long. Luckily the thin hallway didn’t leave a lot of options for Geoff’s location. He entered the first door on his left and found a large man with tattoos. Geoff.

“Hey, uh Geoff,” Parker said, hoping the man would turn to him. He did not.

“Parker.” Geoff said curtly. He sounded different than he had on the phone.

“You said you had intel on my crew and I’m really worried about them, Steven hasn’t answered my messages-”

“Steven hasn’t answered my messages,” Geoff mocked. Parker froze as he heard his own voice coming from in front of Geoff. “Steven, hey, it’s Parker, I was just calling to see-” Parker had hoped the email he received before leaving was a fluke. He hadn’t wanted this to happen this way.

“Where are they?” Parker demanded. His peripheral vision picked up a figure and he whipped around pulling the gun from his back and firing. A circle of blood formed on the curly haired man’s stomach as he fell to the ground.

“Son of a bitch! Geoff what the hell is going on?” ‘Mogar’ yelled. He didn’t look great.. Parker pointed the gun at Ramsey.

“Where are my fucking friends?” he barked.Geoff tossed Steven’s phone aside, screen shattering completely. “Tell me you bastard or I’ll kill everyone in this place, try me.”

“I know what you’re capable of,” Geoff chuckled. “That’s why you’re here. I know Suptic doesn’t appreciate what he’s got with you, and I thought I might offer you a position here in exchange for something I know you’d like back.”

“Just show me that they’re okay. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I’m gonna need you to leave the gun with Michael here. You can understand why I wouldn’t want to bring it with us.” Parker mumbled a weak agreement and dropped the gun, kicking it in the opposite direction of the wounded man. “Fair play. Follow me.”

Geoff lead him to the end of the hallway to a simple metal door. It wasn’t even locked. Geoff pushed it open and sitting on the floor were Cib, James, Autumn and Steven. Parker smelled a trap.

“Where’s the rest of them?” he asked.

“Isn’t the four good enough? Awful greedy don’t you think? After all, there’s only one of you and more of us than you’d care to know about.”

“I won’t ask again,” Parker’s voice was cold, but his eyes were fiery daring Geoff to keep testing him.

“Greed is a sin my dear boy,” the Vagabond said, appearing from the shadows, donning his iconic mask. “A deadly one at that.” Parker kept a straight face.

Steven looked at him incredulously, and truly noticed him for the first time. The way the suit fit him just right. The way the sweat beaded down his face, pooling at his lips that Steve was just noticing looked awful soft. Yuckie. He didn’t know what Parker was trying to pull. He may have been secretly cute in a bumbling hero way or something this whole time but it wasn’t like he had the talent to get them out of here. Not Parker.

“What’s your plan Coppins, really?” the masked man asked. “I’m curious.”

“I suppose I thought I’d just do this,” Parker snapped his fingers and the lights went out. When they quickly flickered back on Parker was wiping blood from his second knife. The vagabond coughed and blood bubbled from his throat. “A man’s gotta have some tricks up his sleeve.” Geoff had bolted as soon as the lights went out, either to escape or call for reinforcements, it didn’t matter to Parker. He sliced the ropes binding Autumn first, removed the tape from her mouth. She simply thanked him and smiled. Cib and James came next, neither were particularly thankful, griping about how he didn’t notice they were missing for almost a month and what kind of friend even does that let alone one in this business.

Last came Steven. Eyes wide. As soon as Parker undid his restraints Steve pulled him into a gentle embrace. “You really did it,” his boss whispered in his ear. “I had no idea you were capable of anything like this.”

“Oh. Well, yeah. I’m pretty good at this, actually,” Parker responded, awkwardly shifting out of the hug.

“We should celebrate. I have this expensive wine back at my apartment-”

“Shouldn’t we search the building first to see if anyone else is being held here? I mean, Jeremy and Andrew are still missing. We can’t just leave without them,” Parker interrupted.

Cib, who had plucked his vape from his pocket, shrugged and said, “ You win some you lose some dude.” He proceeded to blow smoke into Parker’s face. Parker grit his teeth and stared at Steven, unmoving.

“Well yeah we should look for them. James, go on,” he gestured at the corner of the room from whence the Vagabond had come. James sighed and went to inspect the area. Parker followed closely behind him. There was a hatch in the floor and like the door to the room they were in, it was unlocked. Jame shined a light down as Parker lifted the hatch open. Two pairs of eyes stared up at them. Unfortunately they weren’t the eyes he’d been hoping to see.

Parker nearly slammed the hatch shut in frustration. He begrudgingly held his hand out to help the two men out of the hole. James Allen McCune and Devin couldn’t help not being Jeremy and Andrew. It just pissed him off that they weren’t here. That there was no way the email he’d received was a lie.

“Parker…” Steven rested a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll find them. But we all need some rest. Come on back with me tonight. I know you don’t want to be alone in that apartment anyway.” He was right.

“Okay, sure,” Parker nodded. It was unavoidable now. “Let’s go I guess.”

The car ride was uncomfortable to say the least. Being kidnapped by another crew meant the only person with a car was Parker. He dropped off Cib and James first, giving them each a curt nod goodbye. James thanked him but it seemed hollow. Cib was still upset with him which was, in Parker’s opinion, bullshit. JAM wanted dropped off at a bar and who was Parker to stop him. After pulling away from the seediest bar in Los Santos he drove Devin to his house in the suburbs. He waved goodbye and it was finally just Parker and Steven alone, street lights illuminating their faces as they drove in relative silence.

“Parker, I’m sorry I doubted you,” Steven broke the silence. “You were incredible today. The thing with the lights? I mean, you might’ve killed The Vagabond. I’m just so blown away by it all.”

“It was nothing.” It was nice to hear compliments for a change. It was always ‘Why do we even invite you on these missions?’ and ‘Do you even do anything here?’

“I wish there was some way I could repay you. This is a genuine debt. You know how much I hate being indebted to people,” Steven continued.

“All I want is a glass of wine and a place to stay,” Parker said as he pulled into the apartment complex.

“That can be arranged,” Steven said with a laugh.

One awkward elevator ride later Parker was sitting in the penthouse apartment, on a pristine white couch, holding a glass of fancy wine. Steven was sitting uncomfortably close to him, still babbling about how grateful he was. Parker began to tune him out, thinking about that email and what it had said, the post script in particular.

“You know what I mean? Parker?” Steven interrupted his thoughts.

“Uh yeah. I hear you,” Parker laughed nervously. Steve’s hand was on his thigh. When did that get there? He took his first large swig of wine and as he put down the glass he felt Steven press closer. Their lips met and Parker allowed it to happen, returning the kiss. He’d seen this coming since he saw the look in Steven’s eyes in the warehouse. They pulled away and Parker rubbed his mouth on his sleeve.

“Not bad,” Steven said with a smirk.

“Mm.” Parker responded, looking down at his hands.

“No I- I mean it,” Steven said. He winced and coughed. He tried to begin again but Parker interrupted him.

“Look I. I know what you’ve done, Suptic. Just tell me where they are,” Parker said evenly.

“Parker, I-”

“You don’t have much time left Steve. I poisoned my cup. Passed it onto you. Without a cure you’ll be dead in half an hour. Not bad, huh?”

“Immune to poison now are we?” Steven shook his head. “You’re full of surprises. Your boys are alive, but for how much longer I don’t know.”

“Where are they?” Parker grabbed the other man’s throat. “Fucking tell me!”

Steven coughed pried Parker’s hand off his neck. “Parker, please, just give me a cure for the poison and we can talk about this like adults.

“I think you lost the right to a conversation when you fucking kidnapped my friends, hired some assholes to pretend to be the Fake AH Crew and pretended to be a victim yourself. Is that all you’re good for? Playing the goddamn victim?”

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Steven said. He immediately felt Parker’s closed fist make impact with his nose.

“Fuck you,” Parker turned away from him. “One last chance, Steve. Please, tell me where they are.”

Steven was finding it difficult to breathe evenly. Blood dripped down his face and he took the time to carefully wipe it off. He simply said, “Cib.” Parker pushed passed him, wasting no time getting to the door. He tossed the vial of poison to Steven who just barely managed to catch it.

“Find your own damn cure,” he said, putting up both middle fingers as he walked down the hall. His walk turned into a sprint. It was a risky move, endangering Steven’s life but not killing. He could have Cib on the phone faster than parker could possibly drive to James and Cib’s place. But despite how upset he was with Steven he couldn’t find it within himself to pull the trigger and actually kill him. Not bothering to take the elevator he made his way quickly down flights and flights of stairs.

He slammed his car door shut, fumbling with the keys, desperately trying to start the car. This was a race he couldn’t afford to lose. Once he got the car started and peeled out of the drive he reflected on the email once more.

Coppins,

It has come to my attention that you are in trouble. Your enemies are not who you think. Suptic can’t be trusted. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be of more help. We will not be meeting in person, I hope you understand. Do not try to contact me.

-G. Ramsey

P.S. If something you care about is at stake, Tread Lightly.

With the heads up Parker had known that there would be some amateur crew there playing dress up. He would never have killed the real Vagabond. Not that he couldn’t have. He had hoped that Geoff was pulling some kind of trick on him. A double fake out. But upon seeing the man in the warehouse he knew. The man in the warehouse had entirely different tattoos than the real deal. It was like the Sugar Pine Crew wasn’t even trying to fool him. Now, as he sped through the empty streets of Los Santos, the last two words echoed in his mind.

Tread Lightly. Tread Lightly. Tread Lightly.

As he bust through the door to James and Cib’s place, blood pounding in his ears, Tread Lightly.

Pulling a gun on a surprised looking James. Finger aching over the trigger. Tread Lightly. Tread Lightly.

“Parker! Glad you could join us. Why don’t you put that thing away and come with me?” Cib suggested. “I’m sure the boys will be happy to see you.”

Parker nodded, lowering his weapon. Cib didn’t appear to be armed, and neither did James. Cib brought him to the kitchen first.

“Can I offer you a drink? I don’t have any of that fancy one percenter wine but I’m sure I could find something.” Cib read the impatience on Parker’s face. “Maybe another time then.”

James unlocked a wooden door revealing a pretty spacious room. It was lacking in decor, however sitting in the middle of the room was a wooden table. Sitting at the table was a very battered looking Andrew and Jeremy. A sob caught in Parker’s throat.

“Hey Parker,” Jeremy said, face stoic as ever. Andrew looked hopeful.

“Hey guys,” Parker sniffed.

“Enough dude! I’m fine with a little happy reunion but there’s a problem. I’m afraid I can’t let all of you go. Doesn’t send a good message if this was all for nothing,” Cib shrugged. “It’s up to you.” He placed a gun on the table.

“Shoot me.” Parker said immediately.

“What, Parker no,” Andrew shook his head. “That’s crazy, you’re my best friend we could never-”

“I’m the one who pissed Cib off in the first place. That’s what this is about isn’t it?” Parker directed his question at Cib. He caught him mid-vape.

“It’s a safe bet” he coughed.

“If Andrew won’t do it, Jeremy, then. Please, I. I can’t lose either of you,” Parker pleaded. The past few days had made that evident.

“Parker…” Jeremy just sighed. He pushed the gun Cib had given them aside. Cib raised his eyebrows as if he was about to speak, but Parker got the words out first.

“Fine,” he lifted his own gun to his head. “I love you.” And, looking at Jeremy and Andrew, he genuinely smiled for the first time in awhile.

[give-me-a-thousandkisses]

Q: How are you today? A: Good … thank you !! Though THIS traffic …. #shame

Q: How many days till you are able to go home? A: Just a bit over a month … counting down the days !!! #summerfun

Q: #AskClaire are you watching anything good? Binge worthy?  A: Did someone say @SHO_TwinPeaks

Q: Where’s Eddie while you’re away? You must miss him!  A: I do miss HER … (i won’t let her know you made that mistake !!) She’s waiting in Scotland for some SA treats !!

Q: You gonna be long? #onbehalfofmycompadres  A: If I said another hour …. would you a) cry b) explode c) just go home ..????

Q: What do you consider to be your best scene from Season 3? A: 🌴…. that’s a clue !!!

Q: What book are you currently reading? #AskClaire #Outlander A: Mirror, Shoulder, Signal …or is it Mirror, Signal, Shoulder … anyway .. It’s GOOD.

Q: Will you get time off this summer before Season 4 filming begins? A: Well I’d better … I hear people might want us to promote it #AskClaire

Q: What’s been your favorite thing you’ve learned since coming to South Africa to film? #AskClaire #Outlander A: People’s incredible capacity to forgive and heal … and that it’s a process … LOVE SA ❤

Q: When will you come to France ? #AskClaire  A: Soon, I hope !!

Q: Favorite think about SA? Worst thing? A: Food and the distance from loved ones

Q: If you could hav dinner with one person, alive or deceased, who would you choose? A: Gore Vidal ….

Q: This season is taking a long time to be recorded, will we have a very accurate fidelity to the book? A: Its the same length as the others …. actually shorter than season 1 … and we do our best !

Q: Ok … so do you plan on taking ax long holiday or doing different work after Outlander S 3 filming ends? A: Both would be nice. We’ll see

Q: What’s your favourite book at the moment? any book recommendations?  A:Loving anything by Zadie Smith 

Q: Any museums in SA you would recommend? A: District 6 museum

Q: Will you consider the possibility of doing a musical ep just like they did on Once Upon a time? That would be amazing   A: NOBODY wants that. BELIEVE me !!!

Q: Is there alot of bloopers coming? A: US ??? Bloopers ???

Q: So if you are late you won’t be able to rib that other guy @SamHeughan who’s always/never late ?? A: For once he’s waiting on me !!

Q: Do you still play the accordion (sometimes)? A: No … :-((

Q: What’s your favorite place in Cape Town? A: Too many to choose. But Table Mountain, Cape Point …. the 🐧 Penguins!!  

Q: Describe Claire in 3 words?????  A: Smart, strong with a dash of stubborn #

Q: Any plans to visit Brazil? Lots of fans here! Beautiful places beaches and “caipirinha” is our best drink! A: I would love to !!!  

Q:How long is the traffic going to take omg A: I don’t know … just passed a bad accident ….😔   

Q: Costumes aren’t as glamorous and you’re probably wet  a lot… most challenging about shooting this part of S3? A: 🕷🐜🐍🐢🐐🐕🌰…. my new costars !!!

Q: what was the last picture you took on your phone? A: this …

Q: Could we get a behind the scenes selfie please?  A: Are we there yet???????????  

Q: Caittttt have you ever visited Greece? #AskClaire #ThankYouForBeingWhoYouAre A: Not yet but top of my list

Q: Do you share Claire’s decisions throughout the books or is there something you disapprove? A: I don’t always have to agree … but I do have to understand …

Q: Night shoot today? What’s your tip for surviving night shoots? #askClaire A: Coffee, silly chats and my kindle !!

Q: Why you use #askclaire instead of #askcaitriona? A: Cause I spend more time being Claire and I have an identity crisis …. good point #AskCaitrionaorClaireorwhoeveriam #AskClaire

Q: Are you headed to or from filming for the day? A: Going to work … NIGHT shoots 😓😓😓😓

Q: What did you have for breakfast?   A: Green juice, Avocado on toast and Coffee ! 

Q: When are you coming back to NYC? Love to see you here… maybe S3 premiere?? A: Mayyyyybe Mayyyybe #season3

Q: Haz visto muchos animales exoticos mientras esta en SA A: Baboons, penguins, zebra and @SamHeughan

Q: The Outlander fanbase is growing and growing, how do you feel about this? A: Waaahaaaahaaahaaa world domination is in our sights WaahaaahaAHAAAAAA

Q: Favorite character apart from claire??  A: This season …. ooh one young sailor and one batty priest !!!

Q: Do you have a phobia? A: Cockroaches !!!

Q: What is the weather outside? A: 🌞🌞🌞

Q: I just got to work, but you’re a great distraction! Love these q&a’s. #WhoNeedsToFocusAnyway A: Thats what I say …… #Oooops #Imeanialwaysfocus #Ahem #walkingawayquietly

Q: With the older characters the action will continue strong? A: Yes @SamHeughan and I will just beat each other up with our walking sticks

Q: If you could give one advice to your character, what would it be? A: Just once in a while #Sssshhhhhh

Q: Hello Queen . Can you send greetings to your Brazilians fans  and for my friend from @caitbalfebrazil We love u so much A: Bom Dia

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10 how much of a pirate do you feel like now that you’ve spent all this time on “old ships”? A: Arrrrrrrrrreight 

Q: Do you think sam uses photoshop for his pics? cuz that body cant be real A: Yes, every morning for an hour, six days a week @SamHeughan photoshops his body.

Q: The “.” right before someone’s twitter handle isn’t working anymore! You should consider doing quoted retweets  A: Really ..??? Since when ..?????

Q: If claire was at the women’s march, what do you think she would write in her sign? “A: Are we STILL protesting this shit ..???”

Q: what’s your secret to keep yourself positive when you need it?! A: “Write a gratitude list … 5-10 things you are grateful for … will help !! ”

Q: How would you define  season 3 in three words? A: “🗡, 📃, 🛌, ⛵" 

[rob-blog1234]

WEEKEND TV HOT FILM PICKS!

Check out my guide to the top films on TV this weekend and the best of the rest. Enjoy!

LATE FRIDAY 20th OCTOBER

HOT PICKS!

Sony @ 2100    Unbreakable (2000) ****

M. Night Shyamalan’s name comes with some baggage and assumptions - let us put that all aside right now. Check your bags - leave them here. Let us begin. We are at a point of superhero saturation in the current cinema world, with Marvel monopolising ever corner of the market, forcing characters into our eyes and ears at every possible moment. DC continue to do the same - albeit unsuccessfully, but they all have a very similar overall feel. These are alternative universes - far removed from ours. Usually formulaic and with big budget CGI special effects. Back in 2000 - Unbreakable hit the big screen and it didn’t pigeon hole itself, it let you take the ride. This feels very real, in a time and world that feels very current, set up as a mystery drama with a great story arc.

Bruce Willis is David Dunn, a man who has survived some terrible accidents unscathed. Samuel L. Jackson is Elijah Price, a frail and fragile man with a rare bone disease. People call him Mr. Glass. Elijah theorises that David has special powers making him invulnerable. As David begins to realise his gift things begin to take a turn.

It had been a long time since seeing Unbreakable - but with Shyamalan’s recent cinema release - Split - I turned back to give this another watch and reminded myself of how good it was. Check it out.

Sony @ 2320    Sunshine (2007) *****

It's been a while since this has graced our TV schedule. Don't miss Danny Boyle's splendid venture into the space Sci-Fi genre: Sunshine. I love this film. It pulls from so many influences from Science Fiction greats such as Alien, 2001, and even Event Horizon. The film is set 50 years in the future, a team of astronauts are sent on a mission to reignite the dying sun. They are Earth's last hope of survival.

Sunshine relies heavily on the quality of the cast to drive this through and they all do a sterling job. Particularly Cillian Murphy and Chris Evans. They all capture the essence of how 16 months cooped up in a confined space must make you feel. The mission takes a turn when they find the original lost ship from a failed mission in a decaying orbit around the sun. This is the beginning of a string of unfortunate and strange events that put not only their lives but their mission to save the world as well.

Boyle dishes out some seriously tense scenes and towards the end of the film it changes from Sci-Fi to Horror as certain things are revealed. Although not everyone welcomed these changes, I think they worked really well and it was a good twist ultimately carrying film to conclusion. Sunshine is a thrilling and very gripping Sci-Fi feast from a great British Director. A must see film.

Best of the rest:

TCM @ 1645     The Cruel Sea (1953) ****

TCM @ 1915     Beetlejuice (1988) *****

TCM @ 2100     Pulp Fiction (1994) *****

SATURDAY 21st OCTOBER

HOT PICKS!

E4 @ 2100    Die Hard (1988) *****

9 weeks till Christmas... What's all that about!? So without further ado.... my personal favourite Christmas film: Die Hard. Everyone’s favourite cop - John McClane comes home for Christmas but manages to bump into a load of terrorists lead by the amazing Alan Rickmann as the sinister Hans Gruber. Here begins John McClane’s bad luck stint getting mixed up with bad guys where ever he goes. Great story, classic 80’s Action. A must see Action Film!

Syfy @ 2300     Twelve Monkeys (1995) *****

I present to you Terry Gilliam’s greatest achievement with this extremely detailed, rich and complex story introducing some of the most memorable characters in film. Twelve Monkeys is an extremely accomplished Time Travel Sci-Fi adventure dealing with multiple themes and concepts through some amazing storytelling. Even with its multiple time lines, flashbacks and crazy plot Gilliam feeds the story to us with amazing skill also treating us to some amazing cinematography and backdrops of a dark and bleak future world.

Gilliam is notorious for his almost stubborn attention to tiny details. Each scene is busy with cogs and mechanisms and such richness it’s sometimes hard to take it all in, but this all adds to the overall effect and feel of the film.

A huge amount of this film’s success lies in the amazing performances from all the cast. Particular praise goes to Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt who bring to the screen quite possibly their greatest performances to date.

The film is set in the future where a virus has wiped out the majority of human life and the survivors live underground where they are safe. Attempting to find a cure the head scientists send James Cole (Willis) back to the year 1996 to gather information. When he is sent to 1990 by mistake and after a fight he finds himself in a mental institution where he meets the wild eyed and crazed Jeffrey Goines (Pitt). It really is a roller coaster of events from here.

The joy of this film is that it never ages, it always seems a fresh, new and clever concept that always rewards. Definitely up in my Top 5 Time Travel films. Twelve Monkeys is a masterpiece. I have high hopes for the new TV series based on this film. I hope it becomes a good companion piece and not a scar on the memory of this original success. Watch this!

Film4 @ 0125    The Hole (2009) ****

Hugely underrated kids Horror film - The Hole has been horribly overlooked. Joe Dante's The Hole is a great example of a film done right. The tension ramps up nicely for what is in essence a film for kids - the characters build nicely all getting their fair share of development. The humour and horror combination is perfect. Want to introduce your kids to the horror genre without giving them eternal anxiety?... this is the film that can do exactly that and be absolutely enjoyable for you in the process. When I say kids - I mean Teens... don't sit your 6 year old in front of it and blame me for a lifetime of trauma. Record it. Watch it. Decide for yourself. I bloody love a Joe Dante film. This one almost passed me by.

Best of the rest:

TCM @ 0810    The Cruel Sea (1953) ****

Syfy @ 1630     Ladyhawke (1985) ***

ITV2 @ 1845     The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) *****

C4 @ 2335        The Iceman (2012) ***

SUNDAY 22nd OCTOBER

HOT PICK!

Horror @ 1840    Duel (1971) ****

Steven Spielberg’s debut film really showed what amazing things we were in store for. Talent is thrown from the screen and with a very limited budget and time frame he managed to pull off a fantastic thriller full of tension and mystery from the very start to final frames. After watching the extras on the Blu ray it’s amazing it even made it to the screen. In the beginning it was created as a film for TV - it follows a man on a long car journey who is terrorised by an unknown driver in a huge truck. The chase is relentless and the tension palpable. If you love Spielberg films - check out where his cinematic success all began.

Syfy @ 2100    Serenity (2005) ****

Serenity is Joss Whedon’s feature length debut. His previous work was the very successful TV series Buffy, Angel and Firefly. In more recent times we know him for the impressive Avengers Assemble and he also wrote the fantastic Horror The Cabin in the Woods. From the very start of his career - he was a success and this shines through in Serenity.

Serenity is a film set 6 months after the series Firefly ended. It’s a futuristic space adventure focusing on the crew of the space ship Serenity captained by the charismatic Mal, played brilliantly by Nathan Fillion. It is a great adaptation of a TV series to feature length film. Mal and his renegade crew of smugglers get by from job to job constantly steering clear of the totalitarian regime of the Alliance. When they agree to transport a Doctor and his sister who are on the run from the Alliance they really didn’t know what they were getting themselves in for.

This film has a great sense of humour and there is a vein of comedy running throughout. Fillian is in his element with this sort of material. It has some great effects and the whole film has an incredible richness to the settings and story that breathes life and realism into a very entertaining and interesting plot. It has some great characters and this “space western” focuses as much on the relationships as it does the main story. Whether you are a fan of the original series or not this is a great space romp accessible to anyone and everyone.

Film4 @ 2245     Side Effects (2013) ****

Soderbergh’s Side Effects is one of those films that is incredibly difficult to talk about without ruining it or giving away some of the lovely points and twists of this film. I have always liked Soderbergh’s films in the most part. He has always handled complex characters extremely well and his films have a heavy focus on people and relationships. Here we seen Rooney Mara in a fantastic role. She plays a woman who turns to prescription medication for her anxiety as her husband is released from prison. The film is as much about her story as it is about the pharmaceutical companies that create new drugs on unsuspecting patients. It really touches on some serious issues. Side Effects is simply fantastic. I was blown away on my first viewing and became one of my firm favourites from 2013. If you like thrilling Crime Dramas then this is going to tick all your boxes. Don’t miss this.

Best of the rest:

ITV3 @ 1245         The Railway Children (1968) ****

C4 @ 1400            Rango (2011) ****

Syfy @ 1400         Ladyhawke (1985) ***

ITV4 @ 1500         Rio Bravo (1959) ****

Film4 @ 1555       True Grit (1969) ****

W @ 1610             The Neverending Story (1984) ***

Comedy @ 1815  Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) ****

ITV2 @ 1825        The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) *****

Film4 @ 1835       Life of Pi (2012) *****

TCM @ 2000        The Graduate (1967) *****

Horror @ 0050     We Are Still Here (2015) ****

Sony @ 0125        Sunshine (2007) *****

[iimmcrtalis-archive]

Biography:

     A life begins when you first take a breath, they say. You take a breath, and scream life into the world. You mark the world with your voice and then,  you slowly quiet.

  Sometimes, however, you do not make your mark till later. You didn't cry when you were born, and you aren't crying now. But the world can feel you crawling back. Clawing, etching, your name into the spine of everyone regardless if they know you are not. It is not because of who you are. But what you've done; Survived death for six months.

   This is how she came to be. No memory of who she was. That was the deal. No memories of who she had been. Only of what made her. Dying. Death. Life a new. Death would follow her, threaded through her bones. Threaded through the scar on her throat, knitting together her organs and the wound that let them spill. She would never truly be alive again.

  The snow melted. Hands bloodied. Clothes stained and torn to shreds. She was a corpse walking. Wandering. Lost. But a woman, Eludysia, found her. She spoke with confidence, like a woman that knew everything. Took her away, to the other side of the country. A Grandmother she never knew, apparently. A mentor that would help her truly deal with her magic. But first, they would have to work through how death stuck to her. Work through the questions that rose as she fell into memories of what happened reached her. But that would be years. Years of self destruction. Years that she struggled to think beyond what she had become. A heavy thing to process, until she had a heartbeat. And then she breathed. And the world shifted.

  Nearly dying again had struck fear into her chest. A flash of bleeding, bloodied, lost. A memory replaying in her head shook her to her core. Near death experiences tend to do that, of course. Make you crave life. It turned her around, guided her back to living to live instead of exist.

  She sought after knowledge, and power. Made a web of people she knew, connected over things she had interest in. Plays the role her grandmother hoped her to. Not a pawn, not truly. But as her right hand. The Heir to being a Watcher. Meant the world was her playground and she'd have to explore it at the behest of Eludysia.

So she does.

  She travels, place to place. Under the guise of it being a teaching job, or studying plants and what not. Good thing, her doctorate, covers for a lot

.Stats:

Name: Revas Ramsey Nicknames: Vas, Little Witch, Witchy Bitch. Titles: Death Seer Age: 27 Birthday:March 19th Gender: DMAB. Trans-Woman. She/Her pronouns only. Sexuality: Pansexual │ demiromantic Birthplace: Unknown. Residence: California Relatives:                 Eludysia Ramsey [ Grandmother ] (alive)                 Jacob Feldt [ Father ] ( Alive )                 Rani Feldt  [ mother ] ( Alive )                 Miriam Feldt [ sister ] ( alive )                 Jacob Feldt Jr [ brother ] ( alive )

Height: 5'2" Weight: 140lbs Character’s body build: Curved, muscular. Eye Color: Emerald green. Hair Color: Dark red. Type of hair: Very thick. Hairstyle: Usually in a long braid or high tight ponytail. Hair down will go past her calves.  Complexion and skin tone: Freckled & light brown Scars: Multiple facial scars. Deep scar across her throat. Mannerisms: Revas used to stumble a bit while she was nervous. Now she speaks very cooly, and tends to have her arms crossed; a sign of being closed off. Usual Body Posture: Warm. Usually bouncing or inviting to others. Or cold and shut off. Tattoos:

Black work wings on her back

Hebrew for Freedom on her wrist.

Galaxy sleeves.

Class/race: Witch. Half-fae.

Powers & Abilities:

MAGIC:

Offensive Magic:

Magic Attacks

Magic Combat

Power Absorption

Defensive Magic:

Force-Field Generation

Healing Magical

Energy Absorption

Miscellaneous Abilities

Elemental Manipulation

Flight

Magic Aura

Magic Detection

Magic Generation

Magical Constructs

Magical Energy Manipulation

Magically Enhanced Physiology

Personal Domain

Potion Creation - for various purposes (i.e. explosive, healing)

Shapeshifting

Spell Casting        • Spell Amplification        • Spell Creation        • Spell Destabilization        • Spell Mixture        • Spell Negation

Summoning/Banishment

Enchanting

Telekinesis

Telepathy

Teleportation

Transmutation

SEER:

Precognition:  perceive future events before they happen

Retrocognition: to discern events of the past

Death Sense: To detect who was going to die and when their death will occur, but may not be able to prevent it.

Divination: Gain insight of future events by the use of occult ritual.

Clairvoyance:  gain a direct visual information about an object, person, location or physical event through means other than the user's physical sight and allows them to act when they are unable to use their eyes and allows them to hear things at distances.    can sense/see/hear spiritual/psychic beings and other person's presence and perceive emotions, thoughts and memories of others. Some users can project themselves onto the spiritual world.

Empathic: To receive precognitive flashes of the future when exposed to extreme emotion.

Flash: To see things seconds or minutes before they happen.

Dreaming: To perceive future in dreams, whether symbolic, direct or from the perspective of another being.           • Can also alter and manipulate the dreams of others. Usually has       to be in close proximity to the other person ( same house will work best. ) 

Dream Scrying: to dream actual ongoing far-off events.

Psychic Navigation: to locate people/objects or create a mental map of an area.

Psychometry: to perceive the residual information of an object and/or person. This ability isn’t one of her major ones, thus it’s usually only when she focuses on an object/person. 

Shared Vision: to view another user of clairvoyance sight.

Visual Linking: to link one’s vision to others.

VERSES:

Teen: Tag    Takes place between the age of 14 to 18. Mostly your standard highschool au yo.

College: Tag    19 to 26. Standard college au dude. College buds. Hell ye. Watch my girl earn her doctorate.

Future: Tag   45 to whatever age. She's pretty much immortal y'all. Ngl here. So your muse future shit? Older revas time.

Inquisition Related:

    •  Companion: Post │ Tag     Left clan Lavellan at 12. Became a first for another clan. Murdered two people. Left that clan. Became a traveling Keeper. Hung out in Kirkwall for awhile. Went back to being a keeper for a while. Then ya know. Sky explodes. 

  • Advisor: Tag        Instead of a companion the Inquisitor can make her an advisor. She acts more as an ambassador for the dalish and often consults with the mages so their voices have a say in how shit goes. Shit stays relatively the same. just more stress :))

  •    Inquisitor: Post │ Tag   Sort of the same deal. But instead of just leaving for another clan bc too many mages, she used blood magic to try and keep her parents alive post a darkspawn attack. Then all the other shit happened. In Trespasser she's no longer a devotee to Mythal but to Falon'din. 

  • Grey Warden:  Post │ Page │ Codex       Tag ( awakening ) │ Tag ( da2 & dai ) │ Suledin Tag │ Rosal’nan tag   After killing two clan members, she travels Fereldan for three years. After the Blight she joins the wardens. Variants are based on the Wardens choices made by her. Or default if no choices are made.

  •   Specific Talen ( svcraficed ) Warden AU: Tag │ Shora Tag  Plucked outta the woods, half dead and injured, the Warden took her under his wing. Finding him a part of her new family, she takes the name Shora. 

  • Commander  of The Inquisition Forces AU: Tag          Based on a dire need with @desiderrium‘s Cullen to have him actually fucking not be in charge so Revas takes his place. Why is she qualified, you might ask. Well, for the same reason people say that Merrill is. She’s lead people and is trained to lead people, to command and protect her people. Also she’s like. strong as heck so. why not. 

DC: Post │ Tag     What do you do after you've been murdered but aren't dead dead? Ya get the fuck outta dodge. Except it leaves an impact. So you become a goddamn vigilante.             • Side AU: Blue Lantern verse where Revas is chosen to be a blue Lantern.

Fallout: Post │ Tag    Primarily between Fallout 3, NV & 4.       • Standard: Revas is a former Courser turned Gunner, turned Mercenary. Her age is unknown. Her Identity as a Synth even more so. She travels with Faron, a sniper.        • Other one: Instead of being a synth, she's a Psyker with seer abilities & telepathy.

Overwatch: Post │ Tag    All I know is that she died. Got really fucked up. I'm thinking Nanobots to control plants & shit ya know. We'll see I think. Just know shes dead. Dead ish. Like genji “””dead” but also Reaper dead. Cybernetic nanobot cloud of fuck you. Tho she's melee af yo.

Mass Effect Trilogy:  Post │ Tag    Still debating if Revas is gonna be a Quarian or just a Jewish woman from Earth. Who knows. Probably human bc its easier lbh. Powerful af Biotic human who's a badass merc w/ her pal Faron. Y'all catching a pattern?

Mass Effect: Andromeda: Post │ Tag   Human Biotic. Came to Andromeda because she wanted to get away from bad shit. She studied botany and agriculture so ya know early release to help with food but. She sided against the Initiative and fucked off to Kadara.

Elder Scrolls: Post │ Tag   Wood elf magic user who is sort of a cannibal and eats general kills. Because religious reasons. Stumbles into Skyrim w/ Faron bc she wants to travel and help her people everywhere.

The Raven Cycle:  Post │ Tag      Crossover with her normal verse. Revas works at Aglionby Academy as a history teacher. Her involvement in the series is up to You. 

Murder Mom:  Post  │ Tag        The verse post is Graphic. Tw for abuse ( childhood sexual abuse ), rape implied, murder, violence, death, & murder.      A Modern Conversion of her Inquisitor verse. Revas’s parents are murdered when she’s twelve. She gets taken in by an abusive family that sort of planned it all. Ends up murdered. Comes back and fucks their shit up. She’s an extremely powerful witch in this AU, as well as a CEO of her grandmothers company. She’s not afraid to kill. 

No Death: Tag     Based on this drabble. Not extremely explicit but does have mentions & implications of abuse, sexual abuse, trauma, depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempted, cancer, & family death.        In this AU, it’s a case of if Revas didn’t die at all. Instead of dying, her magic lashed out and killed her attackers. & she forced herself to stay alive because of hope and wanting to. Her magic sort of hit an awoken state that gave her high abilities in healing magic, usually on herself. Thus keeping her alive even when the guilt from murder got too much. In her early 20′s and late teen years, her parents passed away and she was left with her younger siblings, twin toddlers. Took a deal with a shady grandmother for money & immortality, mainly the money. & now still lives in a brownstone in New York, studying history working two jobs & trying to be a good mom for her siblings. 

TAGS

general • about • isms • face • aesthetics • abilities • ic 

[the7dwiki]

7D fan made series finale

Since the 7Dwiki is making a video about why we love the 7D I thought I make a fan made plot on what a good series finale episode would be for the 7D.

The plot of the show is the 7D faces the greatest threat they have ever come across and it will take all of there skill to defeat it. I see this as being either a half hour special or a tv movie special.

The episode starts with the evil unnamed squirrel from “The Enchanted Forest Ranger” (who I am going to call Mr. Doomy) and the few allies he has left of his syndicate (I head canon that if that plot line were to continue Mr. Doomy would “kick out” other members of his team who fail him) walking through a run down kingdom and enter a old structure. He tells them that they are there to find an ancient source of magic that they will use to destroy the 7D. The eventually find it but its sealed tight so the team use there particular skills to open it but when they do giant energy being comes out and, after asking who the leader is, Mr. Doomy declares it with a grin and the being posses him. Mr. Doomy then laughs and starts to grow in the backgroud, and because of this most of the evil villains to run away except for Snazzy Shazam, who smiles with interest.

The scene then cuts to the 7D in another fight with the Glooms outside the castle stopping there latest schemes. Just after the 7D are going to win, huge stomping can be heard and we see a giant Mr. Doomy and Snazzy coming up on them. He then starts to use his newfound size and powers to try and destroy the 7D with the help of Snazy, but destroys the castle instead.

The 7D as well as Starchbottom and Queen Delightful fall back to the 7D’s cottage and put together a plan to try and stop him, however when Mr. Doomy and Snazzy show up, the trap doesn’t stop him, much to the 7D’s surprise. Mr. Doomy then goes on to destroy the cottage and tries to destroy the 7D and there others but they escape through the mines. Though The 7D escape Mr. Doomy isn’t upset and goes to cause some more chaos.The group starts to freak out on how they can stop this overpowered squirrel when Doc recalls a story about the entity possessing Mr. Doomy.

The story says that a long time ago an evil energy being was born out of the essence of the planet’s magic but was defeated by a long time ago by the 7 sages (the guys from the Rock of Sages episode) along with the aid of a young magic user, who was Grim’s great great great grandfather. In the fight the energy being possessed the magic users and tries to defeat the sages but they were able to get it out and imprison it, though in the aftermath the magic user became corrupted, resulting in him to later become the evil ruler of Jollywood. They then realize that in order to defeat Mr. Doomy, they will need the Gloom’s help, so they go to there house and ask them, at first they (mostly Hildy) decline but after Queen D promises to make Hildy Queen of Jollywood for a year, they accept. However Starchy points out that they still don’t know how to truly defeat the being so they decide to go to the kingdom where the evil being was originally banished to figure out how the sages truly defeated it.

When they got to the kingdom though they see that the run down place is under attack by big ants, the 7D attack but its Hildy who saves the day in the end by using her magic to make a giant anteater. The Villagers cheer and treat Hildy and the others to a feast, which isn’t sat good as they thought. The villagers apologize for this and explain that this is the result of the evil being, cause it feeds on the energy of other things, which is why the kingdom is so worn down, which them them bummed and hopeless. They tell them that that the sages sealed the being by using the magic that all dwarves have within them, but don’t know how the sages used this magic. WIth this everyone loses hope, but Queen Delightful gives a heartwarming speech towards all of them explaining that they shouldn’t give up, explaining that its important for people, even a a queen like herself to never feel hopeless. This renews the 7D’s hope and they start making a plan to defeat Mr. Doomy.

The episode then cuts to Mr. Doomy causing destruction but then we see Sleepy, Bashful and Dopey next to him mocking and teasing him, this makes him mad and starts to chase him to the old kingdom. Once there the 7D sprang there trap but it doesn’t work so they then get into another fight. Meanwhile Hildy is fighting with Snazzy Shazam, at first there evenly match but Snazzy then gets the upper hand, and after mocking Hildy about hows she’s not as good as her as well as reveal her plan that after the 7D are defeated she will take Mr. Doomy’s power for herself, she raises her wand to destroy her but Grim blasts her, and goes help Hildy, but then Grim is lifted by Snazzy’s magic and is brought to her, Snazzy then admits that she always liked Grim (cause its a head canon I have) and is jealous of Hildy for being married to him but gets over it and blasts Grim into a wall which causes that part of the room to fall on him. This makes Hildy mad and as a result gets a magical surge of power, which she uese to fight Hildy again and wins, and when Snazzy begs of her to stop, she raises her wand and turns her into a squid, Hildy then states that she never wants to see her again, and a scared Snazzy then wiggles away. Hildy then runs to the pile of debris that Grim was in and digs through it only to find his trench coat, she then starts to cry and hold the coat, saying that she was sorry for treating him so bad and staes that she loves him. We then her a familiar voice say that they love her to, turns out it was Grim, Hildy then runs and kisses him (on the lips cause thats rare), then ask how he survived, turns out he used his wand to teleport out of there, but it didn’t take his coat, Hildy then says he’s amazing and hug but then Grim stops and says that they and the 7D are going to need more help to defeat Mr. Doomy, and says that he has an idea of where to get it.

Meanwhile the 7D are stlll fighting Mr. Doomy, they do all sorts of things to stop him, using gadgets, throw debris, even using Snezzy’s powerfuls sneezes but none of it seems to affect him, even the things Starchboom and Queen D do cause nothing. Mr. Doomy them grabs them all and laughs evilly, and starts crushing them. Doc then states that this is the end and says goodbye but then Grumpy buts in and ask Mr Doomy why he hates them so much, and as a last request he tells them. We then flashback to a forest where a Mr. Doomy, without his handlebar moustache putting some nuts into a big pile in a tree, he looks happy at his pile but all of a sudden the tree falls, and his nuts fall out and scatter all over the place, some go into the water, some fall into a hole, and some are stolen by other critters. Mr. Doomy is in shock and in the background he sees the 7D building there cottage, and after seeing what has happened Mr. Doomy screams in rage. We then go back to the present and the 7D are a bit confused till Bashful points out that this was all for nuts, but thats not it, according to Mr. Doomy (through a flashback montage) for generations his family has suffered thanks to the mild convince of the 7D blood line, losing his food was the last straw. 

After hearing this, the 7D apologize to him but that doesn’t help and when Mr. Doomy is about to destroy them, but all of the sudden the villagers run in and attack Mr. Doomy, turns out they were inspired by the words of Hildy Gloom when they went back to the village to get help and brought them here. The 7D are freed and try to think of a plan, however Mr. Doomy stats that they will never defeat him no matter what, but then each of the 7D give a part of a speech about not giving up, and after saying there catchphrase they begin to glow, which they realize is the dwarfish magic the 7 sages used to defeat the evil entity before and use it on Mr. Doomy, The Glooms then join in and after a while a big explosion occurs, which restores the kingdom to its former glory. After the dust and smoke, clears we see Mr. Doomy who is back to his normal form. He is shocked as to what happened and after a while realizes that there magic and friendship had destroyed the entity and after seeing the 7D and Glooms in front of him decides to run away but in the end is caught by Sir Yipsalot and put into a cage by Starchbottom.

The characters regroup with the villagers, who thanks them for defeating the evil being and restoring there kingdom in the process. They also thank the Glooms for all they have done for them, and because of this decide to make Hildy there new queen of there kingdom, who though surprised, happily accepts. Then Doc gives a small speech about how the 7D, with some help this time, saved the day, and they all say there trademark catchprase. After that an extended version of the shows theme plays as it shows a montage of what goes on, like the 7D fixing the castle and there cottage and Hildy coronation into a queen. After all that, during of the instrumental part of the song, we then see our characters grow and age as time progresses and see what they have done with there lives. Doc opened his own school for thinkers and mechanics, Grumpy opening a cheese shop with Giselle, Dopey opening his own zoo with Sneezy and Sleepy helping when there traits aren’t affecting there work, Happy goes around spreading joy to those, Bashful is now dating a girl who is just as shy as he is, and things are the same with Queen Delightful, Starchbottm, an Sir Yipsalot (though its hinted that Queen D and Starchy are in some sort of relationship.  The Glooms also appear in this as we see that not only are they running there kingdom very well, but we also see that they started a family (as we see them playing/ taking care of a boy and girl). Then the episode ends with the picture of the characters in a frame as the words Heigh Ho is shouted.

So yeah this is how I would want the series to end. Ill admit its not perfect, and not all the characters get there time in it. but I think this would make any fan of the 7D happy if it became a true episode.

It’s good and all, but I...really don’t know about Hildy becoming queen at the end. :) And the ending: The show also takes place before Snow White, so at least there has to be something that got them there to the setting of the film... --CR

[gilmoremovies]

The Godfather (1972)

Date Watched: 21st January 2017

Referenced in: 1x17, 2x14, 2x16, 3x02, 3x11, 4x01, 4x04, 4x07, 5x09, 5x17, 6x02, 6x04, 6x05, 6x06, 6x10, 6x21, 7x18, Summer and Fall

Rating:  ★★★★☆

So the Godfather is referenced 5 bajillion times (enjoy those references below the read more) and is a classic. I had extremely high hopes for this film and I did enjoy watching it. The acting was impeccably and it was really well shot. I think a little was taken away with the horse’s head scene because who doesn’t know about that scene... which was surprisingly the only spoiler I knew before watching. I had a little bit of an issue with the predictability of it, housemate said it was cause I’ve watched too many films but I called almost everything before it happened (apart from the the guy who got shot 5 times death I don’t wanna give it away). It just about made 4 stars although it was pretty damn predictable, the acting was truly amazing and the storyline was pretty interesting.

(Other GG Movies I’ve watched so far)

(Full references under the cut)

1x17, The Breakup: Part 2 (2001) Lorelai tells Rory that her Dean box (a bo full of his stuff) is gone using a reference from this film - sleeps with the fishes LORELAI: Honey, good night. RORY: Mom… LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: Far, far away from the house ok? LORELAI: Hey, it sleeps with the fishes. RORY: Thank you.

2x14, It Should've Been Lorelai (2002) Rory and Lorelai discuss the "leave the gun, take the cannollis" line. RORY: Where do you wanna sit? LORELAI: I don’t know. Um, how ‘bout this table with it’s unobstructed westward view of the wide cosmopolitan expansive Klump Street? RORY: Tempting. Do you know that on a clear day you can see all the way to the garbage cans behind Al’s Pancake World? LORELAI: Hm. Or we could sit in the corner - you know, the Mafia table so that no one can come up behind you and whack you with a cannoli. RORY: Whack you with a cannoli? Oh, because he left the gun and took the cannoli. LORELAI: You’re so my daughter.

2x16, There's the Rub (2002) Lorelai calls Emily's limousine "The Luca Brasi-mobile." in reference to Luca Brasi a character from this film EMILY: [they walk to the front desk] Hello, I’m Emily Gilmore. This is my daughter, Lorelai. BOBBY: Ah, yes, welcome to Birch Grove. My name is Bobby. I have everything all set for you. Do you have luggage? LORELAI: Yes, it’s in the Luca Brasi mobile out front. BOBBY: Okay, well, we can take care of that for you. Here are your room keys and a copy of all of your spa activities. You ladies are booked solid, I see.

3x02, Haunted Leg (2002) Lorelai mentions Clemenza, a character in the film, who kills someone in a car. LORELAI: I know, but this goes against every rule I have in the Gilmore survival guide. Number one – no running with scissors. Number two – no pageboy haircuts. Number three – never ever have lunch alone with a mother. SOOKIE: It might not be so bad. LORELAI: Saying yes to this lunch with my mother is like saying "Sounds fun!" to a ride with Clemenza.

3x11, I Solemnly Swear (2003) Lorelai describes scenes from the film when talking about Rory’s issues with Francie LORELAI: Do you want me to talk to her? You know, arrange a sit-down? RORY: No, thanks. LORELAI: Come on. We’ll have it in an Italian restaurant. You’ll get up, go to the bathroom – thanks – and come out shooting, and then I’ll send you to Italy. RORY: Well, I do wanna go to Italy. LORELAI: Two birds with one stone, my friend.  

4x01, Ballrooms and Biscotti (2003) Lorelai and Rory plan to watch the film. LORELAI: Pizza at John's. Um, Sunday, pick up all the stuff you need for school, and then there's a barbecue at Sookie's. Monday is mani/pedi, facial, haircut, go to the psychic, and stock up for Tuesday, the day of all days - Godfather I, II, and III, with extra showings of the Sofia death scene over and over as long as the Mallomars hold out. RORY: The perfect day!

RORY: Well, I'm not ready. I haven't packed. I have things I need to get. We were supposed to watch the three Godfather's and Sofia dying over and over and eat our biscotti and - LORELAI: Okay, listen, calm down. We just need to revise our plan. RORY: We were supposed to have a week. LORELAI: Okay, tonight we stay home and pack. Tomorrow we get up early. We'll get all the stuff you need, and that will give us time to watch at least two Godfather's and a Sofia dying. We'll still have a partial day and a great biscotti night.

LORELAI: Okay, let's sit. God, Mr. Jet Lag wants to be my best friend. RORY: Well, do you wanna go home and rest? LORELAI: No. We have a Godfather night to salvage. Check the list.

LORELAI: I'm not going. I'll finish up all the errands. RORY: Really? LORELAI: Yes. You go and you eat really fast and then get out of there. Meet me back here 9:30, 10 at the latest, and we'll do Godfather I through "Monday, Tuesday, Thursday," and a quick Sofia dying. RORY: Deal.

4x04, Chicken or Beef? (2003) Lorelai and Rory discuss scenes from the film. LORELAI: I own my own business now, Rory. I'm gonna have to deal with tiny men like Taylor all the time. You can't go around yelling at people, no matter how historical they might be. RORY: Bummer. LORELAI: You have to learn to separate the personal from the business. RORY: Okay. LORELAI: Remember in The Godfather, Michael telling Sonny how he was gonna kill Tattaglia and Captain McCluskey in that Italian restaurant? He lays out the whole thing very calmly, very unemotionally, 'cause that's what you do in business. RORY: Yeah, but then he went and shot two guys in the head. LORELAI: Okay, but I wasn't describing that scene. 

4x07, The Festival of Living Art (2003) Rory references Sonny's (James Caan) line, "Badda-bing, you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit." RORY: You are going to be the Renoir girl - end of story. LORELAI: How? RORY: Well, if they want an Anthea for "Portrait of a Young Girl Named Anthea," then they're going to have to have you for the Renoir girl. LORELAI: Well, look at you folding your laundry all haughty and powerful. RORY: Bada-bing all over his nice ivy-league suit.

5x09, Emily Says Hello (2004) Jackson speaks of threats from the film, specifically mentioning the fish on the doorstep, the horse head in the bed and "either his brains or his signature will be on the contract." [They arrive at Sookie's house – Jackson approaches them carrying a giant set of "stage scissors"] JACKSON: I came home from work, and I found these on the doorstep. What the hell is this supposed to mean? SOOKIE: Hon, maybe it's just a joke. JACKSON: No, this is not a joke. This is a threat. LORELAI: Yeah, those people at Butterick Patterns play pretty rough. JACKSON: This is the fish on the doorstep. It's the horse head in the bed. It's the "either your signature or your brains are going to be on the contract." SOOKIE: Jackson, calm down.

5x17, Pulp Friction (2005) Lorelai mentions, in passing, Connie Corleone's wedding day LUKE: You bring an enemy coffee cup in here on the day of our reconciliation. LORELAI [with a mobster accent]: At least I didn't ask you for a favor on this, the day of our daughter's wedding. LUKE: Get that coffee out of here.

6x02, Fight Face (2005) Luke mentions how Michael Corleone dealt with his brother-in-law. LORELAI: So, what do we do? LUKE: I'm gonna talk to TJ, but I'm gonna be smart about it, I'm not gonna spook him. I'm gonna be like Michael Corleone dealing with that slimy brother-in-law of his. Get a couple of tickets to a ball game, invite him along. And we'll talk about the beer and the hot dogs we're gonna eat. And then I'm gonna get him to admit that he did this. And then when we get in the car on the way to the ball park, I'm gonna put a rope around his neck and pull it till he's (pulls an imaginary rope) Dead! LORELAI: Wait, Wait! You're in the backseat? LUKE: Yeah! That's the best for garroting. Yes! LORELAI: No, he's gonna smell something fishy if you hop in the backseat especially if you're driving. LUKE: No, he's not that bright. It'll work! LORELAI: Why are you even buying the tickets? You could just sneak up on him and garrote him on the street. Save you the money.

6x04, Always a Godmother, Never a God (2005) Brian quotes "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse" RORY: I'm just doing it as a favour for Sookie. BRIAN: Godmother, huh? (imitating Marlon Brando) Did you make her an offer she couldn't refuse? ZACH: (impressed) Dude! You nailed that! BRIAN: Thanks.

6x05, We've Got Magic to Do (2005) Rory says, "This is business; it's not personal." RORY: I really hate her! PARIS: They should die. RORY: I should probably give her a table. PARIS: What? RORY: Well, we have a spare table. We kept it open in case of something like this. I should give it to her. PARIS: But she doesn't deserve it. RORY: I know, but this is business. It's not personal. I should give her that table.

6x06, Welcome to the Dollhouse (2005) Kirk references the film when talking about getting on the wrong side of Taylor. LORELAI: But you and I talked about the street names only this morning! How could the Dragonfly already be off the map? KIRK: You know the old saying, cross the Don in the morning, sleep with the fishes in the afternoon. Plus Taylor has one of those really fast laser printers. LORELAI: This is not fair! The Dragonfly is a business in Stars Hollow! This is not right.

6x10, He's Slippin' 'Em Bread... Dig? (2005) Sookie tells her sous chef to "Godfather it up" after instructing him to add more garlic to the dish he is preparing. SOOKIE: Okay, where's the onions for my sauce? Who's my onion man? CARL: Right here, Sookie. SOOKIE: Okay, right here, Carl. I need them right there. Okay? Get the shallots in it. It's time. It's time! [She tastes a sauce.] Okay. Needs more garlic. Come on. Godfather it up for me. [To the woman chopping herbs] Good! Good, good, good. Good, good. Okay. If you can travel back in time and make me not make the veal and ham pate, I'd appreciate it. Talk me out of these things in the future, guys.

6x21, Driving Miss Gilmore (2006) Lorelai wonders if her parents had Clemenza hide a gun in the bathroom after they said they had lunch with Christopher RICHARD: Because there'd been a lot of tension between us about the tuition incident, and your mother and I thought it was time for a sit-down. LORELAI: A sit down what, did you get Clemenza to hide a gun in the bathroom first? RICHARD: We thought it was time to clear the air. After all, Christopher is Rory's father, and we wanted him to know there were no hard feelings. 

7x18, Hay Bale Maze (2007) Rory compares Taylor to Don Corleone. LOGAN: And this hay-bale maze -- this is all Taylor’s idea? RORY: Yep. LOGAN: This is the same Taylor who is town selectman and owns two businesses. RORY: Yeah, he’s basically the Mayor of Stars Hollow and Don Corleone all wrapped up into one. LOGAN: That’s fascinating.

A Year in the Life: Summer (2016) Lorelai imitates Vito Corleone. LORELAI: [Imitating Marlon Brando as Don Corleone] My wife is crying upstairs. I hear cars coming to the house. Consiglieri of mine, I think it's time you tell your Don what everyone seems to know. MICHEL: What? LORELAI: It's from The Godfather MICHEL: Eurgh, not The Godfather again.  LORELAI: It has a quote for every circumstance. MICHEL: You don't have a wife. LORELAI: It's not exact. MICHEL: And who's Don? LORELAI: Michel! MICHEL: I'm leaving LORELAI: [sighs] I'm out of quotes.

A Year in the Life: Fall (2016) Emily says, "I just upped and pulled a Bugsy Siegel and made them an offer they couldn't refuse." EMILY: D'you remember the house your father and I would rent every summer? LORELAI: Of course. EMILY: Well I bought it and it wasn't even for sale! I just upped and pulled a Bugsy Siegel and made them an offer they couldn't refuse. LORELAI: Ok I think you just mixed your mob metaphors but I appreciate the attempt.