#i hope h lot like the first chapter xxx

[i-lovethatforme]

Hi Jess! Hope you are having a lovely beginning of the week. I haven't sent this ask before because I don't know if it's rude, so if it is please please ignore it! And I'm sorry. Basically, I started reading love is not a victory march when you first posted because I love love your work and I know it said the rating was going to be increased and I read it anyway knowing I can't read explicit works :( I was hoping to be able to skip over them but it didn't work out like that. So I am wondering if you would just summarise what happened in the last few chapters after they slept together? I read all the way up to that and it's you so I guess it's a fluffy ending! But if you ever have time please can you tell me the plot points in like 3 bullet points? Again if that's rude please ignore me I can dream about what I would want to happen! Thanks for all your works! And for sharing them with us! Love you all the world!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

hi cutie!! yeah, i did change the rating! i think maybe next time I'll just keep it as explicit if i know there is going to be smut? it's always difficult when you post an e rated fic but like loads of chaps arent explicit at all! but i guess if it's going there then i can just keep it at an E!

don't worry, you're not rude! i'll see if i can copy and paste the chapters and I'll take the smut out for you? idk how long tumblr post limits are so... we'll see! it's probably like 20k words so you might wanna move it over to a doc or something! idk if it will be comfortable to read on here but this is the best way i can think to do it! I'll summarise anything they spoke about in e rated scenes if it's necessary to the fic! (i changed a few bits that were alluding to smut but weren't physical so sorry if there's a lot of he says she says lmao. love you and thank you! xxx

[chapter six bestieeeee]

[they have sex good for them! It’s super soft like not my fault i guess]

There’s a slight ache between her legs but she doesn’t mind it. Not when Peter kissed her face when he carried her to his small bathroom to clean them up and not when they dressed in his comfy clothes and he packaged her dress so he could slip it under his shirt as he climbed them up to her bedroom.

MJ wanted to fall asleep in his room but it made no sense - if she’s not here to let people in in the morning, they’ll figure out something is wrong. So she doesn’t put up a fuss when he wraps her legs around him.

He follows her around as she gets ready for bed and she loves him so much she might just die. He kneels by her bed when she sinks into her sheets and she wants to ask him to stay but he looks like he needs to leave.

“I cannot get in bed with you because I will want to spend the night with you and we will be found by Betty.”

“The door is locked. Besides, Betty already figured it out,” she replies, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice though she’s not sure why - he can hear her heart. She doesn’t want to force him to stay. She just doesn’t want him to leave.

“Yeah?” he asks, already moving under her duvet. His hands are chilly on her waist but she doesn’t mind. She just nods at him and moves to lie on his chest. He unties her hair, his fingers scratching at her scalp as she tightens her arms around him.

“Peter?” 

“Mmm,” he replies, sleepy as anything. 

“How was your first time?” she asks, then, “mine was lovely in case you were wondering.”

“Oh, yeah?” he laughs, holding her closer. “It was nice.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. We liked each other, it was cute. A little awkward,” he yawns, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “Nothing like tonight.”

“Peter,” she whines, scrunching her face up in embarrassment. She’s not expecting tonight to be the best night of his life, nor is she asking for him to tell her it was. She just likes to know everything about him - his life, this childhood, his dreams. 

“I am serious. I have never been in love like I am with you.”

Her heart stops and she knows he heard it from the faint chuckle he lets out. She leans up on her elbow, her hand heavy against his chest. 

“You love me?” 

He looks at her like she’s insane. He cocks his head as he leans on his arm propped behind his neck. 

“Of course, I do,” he whispers, his hand against the side of her neck. “I am head over heels, ridiculously, in love with you.”

Peter kisses her lightly when she doesn’t respond and she lets him. He doesn’t question whether she loves him back, he must know she does. But loving someone the way she loves him is terrifying. She never thought anyone would love her the way Peter does, openly, without there being a reason for him too. 

The kiss slows down, both of them are exhausted. He presses his lips against hers again, once, twice, until he pulls back. The look in his eye is kind, even if there’s something that suggests he’s holding back. 

“I love you,” he repeats, pulling her back onto his chest. She believes him, she truly deeply, in her heart believes him. And yet.

“Promise?” 

“I would never lie to you.”

“I know.”

“Goodnight, MJ,” he whispers and she feels his lips against her forehead moments later. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Michelle stands in the corner of the classroom with her notebook crossing out another failed formula as the children giggle behind her. She hears the clinking of test tubes and the smell of the bunsen burner and she’s glad May was available to help them through their chemistry lesson today because MJ has been distracted all morning. The conversation with her mother at breakfast doing nothing to lessen the fears that her father is about to sell her off to the highest bidder who just happens to be her worst nightmare. 

How her father wants to throw a tournament to find the next Knight Commander who will also marry her while keeping tabs on who is allowed to enter this contest is beyond her. She’ll talk to him at dinner about how she’s not a prize to be won - though she’s not sure he ever cares what she says.

Peter can’t make it to dinner tonight and though he can’t say anything anyway, he’s a calming presence around her father. She knows it’s not his job to protect her - she likes to see his face anyway. She’s not sure what he’s doing instead and she hopes he isn’t annoyed because she didn’t tell him she loved him back. It’s not true, either that he’ll be annoyed with her that she didn’t say it back and nor is it true that she doesn’t love him back. 

Either way, she’s not dealing with it all particularly well. So instead of going over her pillow talk with him from last night, she thinks about other things they’ve talked about. 

This is why she sets up another beaker, pours in the new chemicals from her twelfth formula of the day. Her hair is definitely frizzing and it’s a good thing Peter braided it for her this morning or she’d look a mess for dinner. It’s not like her father wouldn’t say something anyway. 

But she can’t find it in her to care when the liquid thickens, the consistency being springy but firm. She’ll need to test it on the proper surfaces, see if it can hold the weight she hopes it will. But for right now it’s enough to show Peter. 

Michelle ignores the pain in her chest from the remarks from her father and she ignores the way Harry kept trying to touch her and how her skin still burns and she focuses all her energy on not crushing the container in her hands because she’s just so frustrated. Mainly she forgets the way she thinks Peter is annoyed at her because she needs him.

Her feet stomp across the ground leaving imprints in the frost covered grass and the bottom of her dress is getting wet and dirty but she needs to be quick because the tears are threatening to fall and Peter will fix it. She just needs to see him and he’ll fix it. 

She rounds the corner of the stables and finds him chopping wood. He’s not facing her when he comes into view but it doesn’t matter, he always said he’d find her anywhere. 

“Hi, darling,” Peter says, his back to her as he splits a log between his palms. He calms her down without even trying, but she’s wound up and she doesn’t want to tell him why because she doesn’t want him to feel bad about it. So she straightens out her face.

“Hey.”

“What is wrong?” he asks, spinning around to face her, his brows furrowed as he immediately walks towards her. 

“Nothing,” she says on instinct. Peter hates when she lies to him but she’s spent twenty two years having to pretend everything is fine even if it isn’t. He doesn’t get mad like everyone else though and his face doesn’t screw up in annoyance when he looks at her and he doesn’t spew hateful things about her to anyone that will listen. 

He just takes the container from her hands and places it on a log, his arms pulling her close as he wraps her in a hug. Michelle lets out a shaky breath as she buries her face in his neck. 

“What happened?”

“Dinner is just - you know I have five dates next week? And the week after that they are throwing a tournament to see who will marry me if I do not choose someone before that and I just - I want you. I just want to marry you and I want to be allowed to be happy and -”

“I love you,” he says, his hand smoothing down the curls that escaped her braid. “I love you. It is going to be alright.”

“You do not know that,” she replies. 

“Maybe not. But guess what I do know? I know that I love your smile and the way you draw me when you miss me and the way when you say good morning your voice is all raspy.”

“Peter,” she whispers, her fingers tight against his shirt where her hands squeezed between them.

“I love that you bought May here for me and I love that you give Ned extra blankets because he said he was cold and I love how you try and calm your heart when you see me,” he chuckles, then, “as if I do not listen for you everywhere.”

“You are the worst.”

“I am your favourite,” he whispers, moving back to look at her. His face is nothing but kind as she looks back at him. 

“Are you feeling better or do you want me to go on? I have thoughts,” he says seriously. 

“What else do you like about me?” she asks, trying to hide against his chest but his hand holds her face steady. MJ never feels embarrassed for needing him like this and he never makes her feel anything other than completely and wholly loved. But looking at him while he says it is new.

“I love that you read to me when I am sleepy but you are not. I love that you allow me to use your bath salts even though I always use too many. I love the way you make me tea in the morning even though I never drink it. I love that you wear my broken old watch to dinner with your father even though he is always going to say something about it,” he says, his eyes wide and kind as he looks at her. 

“I like to have something of you with me when you are not there,” she replies.

“I am so in love with you,” Peter says with a smile, his lips against hers before she can say anything and she thinks it’s so he doesn’t hear her silence. He wraps her braid around his hand as he pulls her closer to him and she thinks his words and his tongue are going to save her. 

“I made you something,” she gasps when he pulls back for air. 

“Yeah?” he asks, pressing his lips to her jaw. 

“Mmm, it is only half complete but I wanted to see if it would work.”

“And what is it?” 

She unwinds from his arms, the cold air hitting her face as she picks the container up. She hopes it still works, the formula was right but she hasn’t fully tested it in cold conditions for longer than a few minutes. 

The sky is getting darker now so they can test it and see if it dissolves in the way she hopes it will overnight. 

“Well, you said you wanted to be able to get around faster and I did not know if it was possible but I have chemistry with the children this week anyway so I just thought I would have a look at it. It might be insane and you do not have to -”

“Em,” he says. She looks at him. “I am going to love it, you just have to tell me what it is.”

“Okay. It is like webbing. I hope, I do not know. Anyway, I think if we crafted something to shoot this out of it would work better? But I wanted to see if it would stick and hold your weight first.”

“You made me webs? Like a spider?”

“Yes. Is that okay?” she asks, suddenly nervous she has overstepped and made him self conscious of the powers he has. 

“That is so cool! Can I try?” 

MJ watches him throw the webbing at trees, forgetting to keep hold of an end to see if he can pull himself closer. Watching him jump around, running around, watching his muscles twitch - well, it helps the frustration leave her body - though it brings a different kind of frustration. Either way, it's the most fun she’s had since she saw him this morning and she can’t wait to see if he wants to perfect the formula with her.

“Okay, okay, I got it!” he says, the webbing in one hand, the other end attached to the small fir tree about ten metres from them. He pulls against it and it doesn’t budge. So he pulls harder in an attempt to get his feet to skid across the ground. But then she watches his arms bulge under his shirt and he yanks on the white material. 

It doesn’t snap like she thinks it will, instead there’s an earth-shattering sound as the tree is uprooted and Peter swings it a few meters to the side.

“Oh my God!” he exclaims, the excitement and terror evident in his voice. He turns to face her, his cheeks pink and his muscles tensed and his face falls when he sees her slack jaw expression. 

“MJ?” 

Her eyes flick from the tree uprooted and to Peter and back again. Fuck. She walks over to him quickly. 

“I am sorry, sweetheart I did not -”

[ummm MJ is turned on by his strength lmao and she does an un Princessly thing in the stables ty] 

Tapping at her window stirs her from sleep and a rather pleasant dream - she’s annoyed until she realises there’s only one person it could be. Michelle tries to calm her heart because Peter can hear it from miles away and he won’t stop teasing her about it but it’s really not her fault. She missed him as she fell asleep, tossing and turning in her bed as she reached out to hold onto someone who wasn’t there. 

She creeps across the floor, tiptoeing for no reason other than it’s night time and she thinks she should. Pulling back the curtains she sees his grin in the darkness, the brightness of his eyes. She can’t help but smile back as she opens the window.

“What are you doing?” she whispers loudly. 

"You wanted a tree,” he says casually like he’s not hanging onto the outside of her window holding a Christmas tree.

"How did you even get it here without being noticed?” she asks, knowing Beck is watching her like a hawk. She can’t help the smile that spreads across her face though. 

“Do not worry about it, your highness," he says with a wink. 

“Peter,” she laughs with a yawn, then, “come in, dork.”

He crawls through her window like it’s nothing, setting the fir tree down in the corner. 

“I’ll get you a bucket and some stones tomorrow,” he says, making sure it’s properly stable against the wall before turning to face her.

“You are beautiful.”

She frowns at him, her eyes feeling puffy from being woken up. “Peter. I was asleep.” 

“You are still beautiful,” he says, clearing his throat roughly as his eyes scan her body. But then his eyes turn playful. “Do not pretend to be mad that I woke you up, I heard your heart.”

“Why are you the worst?” she grumbles but she can’t get her brows to stay furrowed when he wraps his arms around her, his hands against her shoulder blades holding her close to his body. He’s chilly from the nighttime air. 

“Hmm, I do not know,” he whispers, pressing his lips to her nose. 

“When did I tell you I wanted a tree?” she asks, ignoring him. She doesn’t really mind that he woke her up because she desperately wants him to stay but she likes to attempt to keep him on his toes - not that it has ever worked. 

“Well, you did not. Technically. But Harry was being such an obvious arse at dinner the other day and I could tell some of what he was saying was true because you kept spinning your fork on the table.”

“What?” she asks, her eyes wide as he smiles at her. He moves his hand to tuck some hair behind his ear and she uses the movement to wrap her arms around his neck. She shivers against him when his fingers ghost past her ear. 

“When you are pretending like you do not want to stab someone in the eye, you flip your fork from front to back on the table, like holding the weapon is going to make you feel better.”

“Stop stalking me,” she replies with a smirk, her eyes flicking between his and his lips. Peter leans in slowly, his tongue tracing her upper lip and she gasps down his throat as he wraps a hand around the back of her neck. 

"I am just observant," he whispers. He moves his hands to the backs of her thighs and she lets him wrap her legs around his waist as he moves her to her bed. He pushes her back against the mattress, crawling between her legs as he brushes kisses along her jaw. 

“What time -” 

“I love you.”

“What?” he asks, his hand against her thigh pulling her body close as he pulls his face back. 

“I’m so in love with you,” she replies, her voice shaking slightly but he soothes her like he always does with a thumb against her cheek.  “I am sorry I did not tell you sooner -”

“It is alright.”

“No,” she says, her hands against his neck. “I have loved you since I met you. You are the only person in this world that makes me feel safe and loved and completely myself. I do not want to be with anyone else, ever. I love you. I want you, I will always choose you.”

“Yeah?” he asks, his face splitting in half with her favourite smile. 

“Yeah. You bought me a fucking tree,” she laughs, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. 

He groans playfully. "You know I love it when you swear. I would do anything for you,” he mumbles, his lips against her cheek, her nose, her lips.

“I know.”

"I love you," he whispers as he rolls over, pulling her on top of him and slipping his hands under her chemise. 

"I love you back."

[chapter seven bestie]

Peter imagines MJ pacing around her room. Her feet hitting the soft carpet with a light thud because she’s too annoyed to possibly do anything else, her hair flowing behind her as she scowls. Maybe she’ll be sitting on her bed still in her fancy gown with a book she’ll refuse to read but she likes the distraction of playing with the pages. It was her fourth date of the week, her fifth being tomorrow and they agreed Peter wouldn’t work the events because he can’t stop snapping things on sight and MJ can’t even attempt to be civil to the person opposite her. 

Peter knows she chooses him. He knows she goes into every dinner with an air of disdain for the people who have decided to try and win her over because they want something from her. He knows that. She tells him and she shows him every day. 

But it doesn’t mean he’s any less nervous that she's found someone suitable at dinner as he crawls up the castle walls in the darkness - the only time he can get into Michelle’s room without being seen because he’s no good for her. Everyone in the kingdom would think it if they knew how he thought about her. How he touches her. 

Peter never understood the need for Michelle to have protection. Surely, being the Queen with an army offers you something even if you do not have a husband by your side. But now he knows her, now he loves her. And he’d do anything for her to have someone to protect her in the way he can. In the way he will, even if she has to marry someone else. 

Peter knows MJ wants to choose who she wants to marry and that when she was younger she used to pretend her parents were going to let her. She told him about the stories with the princess who slept in the ivory tower, who married her true love - it’s how it’s supposed to go. But life is not a fairytale. And he knows his fate is to be serving water at her wedding party. 

But for right now, he’s here. Stepping across the creaky trellis below her bedroom just so he can hear her gasp when she realises he’s coming. She knows he is. He always does. But she does it every time anyway and it always makes his heart race. He wonders if she is going to settle her face, pretend she isn’t ecstatic to see him because she’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.  

The curtains twitch and she’s smiling brightly at him and he forgets how to breathe because he likes to tease her for being excited to see him but he thinks about her all day every day and he’s never capable of hiding it. She’s in a beautiful dress, she’s always in a beautiful dress and he’s excited to get her out of it. 

Peter swings in her room, still feeling ever so slightly out of place in his ripped vest that’s been stained by the sun and his hair is probably dishevelled because he came straight from work. She won’t mind. She never does.  

 [Peter swings into her window good for him! And they… bye x]

“So tell me about dinner,” Peter says when they finish cleaning themselves in the bath. He guesses at some point there will be someone she has to marry. Someone is going to be her husband and it won’t be him so he needs to know there’s at least something she’ll like. 

“Ugh, he asked about children and whether or not I will be a stay at home mother,” she sighs, her head resting against his chest. 

“Do you not want children?” he asks, trying to keep his tone light because the thought of her having children with someone else makes his chest ache. 

“I want to have your children,” she mumbles.

“Yeah?” he asks, his fingers twisting through her curls as she grumbles at him. Sleepy MJ is one of his favourites because she says things she’d never dare to say when she’s fully awake and she gets so embarrassed about it. And he lives to tease her. 

“Go away,” she replies, burying her face further into his chest like she can carve out a space between his ribs.

“You want to kiss me,” he teases as he rolls them over, bracketing her head between his forearms. She’s always the most enchanting person in the room, but she’s otherworldly when they’re in her room. 

He kisses her slowly, his thumbs rubbing against her temples as his tongues strokes against hers.

“You want to raise a family with me, you want to marry me,” he whispers down her throat. 

“Shhhhh,” she replies, looking up at him with a love he never thought he’d have, let alone from someone he loves so deeply.

“You are so mean to me,” he says, regretting teasing her now for how distraught it makes him when he remembers he can never have that. 

“I have already drafted most of the laws I am changing,” she says, distracting him from the future. Their future. He rolls them back on their sides as her gaze flicks over his face like she thinks he won't agree with them. He might not but she’s never let him down before. Besides, he’s not sure there’s ever something she wouldn’t be able to convince him of. 

“Tell me about them,” he replies, his feet brushing against hers. 

“Should I get my binders?” she asks, halfway out of the bed before he pulls her back with a chuckle. 

“You can show me the binders in the morning.”

“But it is Christmas tomorrow,” she pouts. 

“You are beautiful," he says pressing a kiss to her nose. "And your gift can be showing me the binders.”

“We said no gifts,” she says, running her feet across his shins. He has something in his satchel for her but she won’t be too mad. 

“Yeah but you love me so you will forgive me anyway?”

“You are so annoying,” she laughs. “Luckily for me, I got you something anyway.”

“I knew it, you sneak,” he replies with a smile, tucking some hair behind her ear. “You go first, one rule change and then a gift.”

“I am changing the law for who the future King or Queen can marry. Whoever they like or no one at all,” she says.

“That’s my girl,” he whispers, pressing his lips to hers. It will be too late for them but she’s only ever looking out for everyone else. 

“And here,” she says, spinning to grab something from her bedside table he’s shocked he missed all this time. “Happy holidays.”

“You can say Merry Christmas, MJ,” he laughs. 

“It is not my fault you told me you were Jewish after hanukkah, Peter,” she grumbles. He kisses her and she forgives him with a smile. 

“Oh my, they look amazing!” he gasps, sitting up to try the web shooters that he and MJ made over the course of the last week. She’s painted them red and black, intricate webbing details on the sides. 

“You are amazing,” he whispers, pulling her into a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she replies. 

“Next law,” he says, full of excitement for the different programmes she will have planned to set up. 

“I am starting a parliament,” she says definitively. 

He thinks back to school and what he’s learnt about other countries and how they are run.

“Parliaments make the laws?” he asks, a little confused as to why they are needed. 

“Yes, and there will be different political parties… and they will tell the people what they intend to do and then the people in the kingdom vote for and the person with the most votes wins.”

“And then you -”

“And then the monarchy is just for decoration, or you know, abolished,” she says with a shrug. 

“You want to abolish the monarchy?” he asks, his eyes wide as she looks at him completely calm.

“Not in my lifetime, probably,” she sighs. “But it is not fit for purpose and I do not know how much change I will even be able to make when I am Queen and I want everyone to have a fair chance at life here and I - I do not want to be forced to have children with someone I do not even like because we need an heir to the throne and they end up like me.”

“Unhappy?” he asks, reaching to push some hair behind her ear. 

“I am happy with you - but before... and we do not know what the next few weeks will even mean and I -”

“So you want to abolish the monarchy?”

“Yeah,” she whispers, chewing on her lip. “Is that insane?”

“Yes,” he replies, reaching behind her neck to pull her closer. “And it is the best thing I have ever heard.”

“Will you help me?” she asks, pressing her lips to his. 

“I will do anything for you. You could want the monarchy to remain forever and I would do anything for you.”

“Peter,” she whispers, then, “I do want that with you. Children, marriage, everything - I think about it all the time."

“Me too, sweetheart,” he replies, sleepy as anything.

“We can just have a peaceful morning tomorrow,” she says, her hair completely in his face as she wiggles to get into a comfy position. 

“Whatever you want,” he replies, his eyes closed as her breathing becomes harder to detect. He thinks a peaceful morning is entirely what they need when they are supposed to host a Christmas dinner for all the children at her programme. He pulls her into his arms as he drifts into a deep sleep where he thinks entirely of her.

[They do in fact have sex and they do in fact get walked in on.]

Peter spends the next day thinking about nothing but how happy Michelle was at dinner. How the children feel completely comfortable with her. The way she will be able to expand her projects and her endeavours when she becomes Queen. He might not get to be with her but she will have that, at least. He thinks about the way all the children gave her homemade holiday cards and she spent the entire night sticking them up in her room and the way she smiled when they told her she would make an amazing mother. 

Peter is splitting wood, smiling at the thought of MJ surrounded by children and he wishes there was a way to get everything he’s ever wanted - but Parker luck has never been on his side. 

Especially not now when he’s too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice the footsteps behind him and it’s too late to react when he hears a throat clearing behind him. 

He turns and he really wishes he’d put his top back on before he started chopping wood because there’s no way he can possibly sly it on now she’s staring him in the face. 

Peter hasn’t been utterly terrified in a long time and he certainly doesn’t miss the feeling. But as his hand grips the handle of the axe and he feels the sweat starting to drip behind his ears even though he hasn’t moved in minutes and the air is bitingly cold - he truly thinks this might be the worst thing in the world.

“So,” she starts, her voice firm as she tenses her jaw. “How long have you been sleeping with my daughter?”

“Ex - excuse me,” he stutters, thinking he can’t lie to her face. Well, he can and he should but he can’t convince his throat to work.  “No, I -”

“Michelle did not inform me of your relationship. I just know my daughter well. Also, she looks at you all of the time,” the Queen states calmly. 

A smile spreads across his face that has no place being there because he’s about to be banished and he’ll never see her again. He could outrun the queen - so he guesses he could at least say goodbye.

“Are you the reason she is saying no to all these suitors?” she asks. And he supposes so, though she was saying no long before he turned up.

“No, your majesty. I have only been working here a couple of months.”

“And I suppose you are in support of her marrying?”

“I - I will support what she chooses.”

“Right,” she says. “Master Parker, I do not need to explain to you why people stay in less than perfect relationships - there can be a number of reasons. Maybe they offer them security, maybe they offer them something they desperately crave. Maybe they stay to protect the people they love.”

“Forgive me,” he says, “I do not understand.” 

She shakes her head, a small smile on her face. 

“I need your help.”

She needs his help? Well. This is unexpected and feels somewhat like a trick but he guesses if he can get something in return - he’d do anything. 

“I want you to put me into the tournament,” he says too quickly, his voice shaking though he stands firm.

“Excuse me?” she asks, and Peter thinks she’s got an excellent poker face but lucky for him, he can see straight through those. 

“I am not expecting you to allow me to marry your daughter… but I love her. And she loves me and all I am asking for is a chance to prove I can protect her. I already know I make her happy. You must know that as well. So, if you let me enter, I will help you."

The Queen doesn’t waiver at all and Peter is about to give up and just say okay because she is the Queen after all. But then she sighs, “alright.”

“Wait - really?” he asks, his eyes flicking across her face for hints that she’s lying - he guesses he wouldn’t know either way. Whatever she needs help with, MJ is worth the risk. 

“Yes. I cannot control most of what happens in the kingdom but I would do anything for my daughter. And the King would do anything for me. It is why Michelle runs the children’s centre and it is why she is allowed to do almost anything she wants and it is why she has not yet been forced to marry despite needing to be by the time she was twenty.”

Peter thinks she could be a little nicer to her daughter as well but he can’t deny it seems like she has done a lot behind the scenes. MJ never needed hidden love though but it's alright because Peter will make up for it. 

“If you help me… I will make sure you are in the tournament but I cannot help you from there.”

“Okay,” he breathes. He doesn’t need her help, she only needs his. “What do you need?”

“I need you to go and get Michelle,” she says, her voice shaking for the first time. His eyebrows shoot up. If she'd said it was something to do with Michelle he would already be doing it. 

“Where is she? What - what is going on?”

“She is in the dungeons -”

“The - what? Why?” he asks, throwing his t-shirt on as his chest threatens to crack open because this is his fault but he can't even think about that right now. How dare they? She’s the fucking princess and even if she wasn’t she would never deserve to be in there. He’s furious, his rage making it difficult to digest what the Queen is saying but he catches on. 

“And her father thought it would be a good idea to keep her there until after the tournament -”

“That is three weeks away!” he shouts, running his hand through his hair. 

“Master Parker, I need you to calm down so I can tell you what you need to do.”

“Okay,” he huffs. It’s just a cold, dark room not fit for a princess but she’ll be fine. She’ll just be annoyed and possibly a little chilly and the Queen is right - he needs to be calm if he wants to get her out without being noticed. 

“I overheard after dinner that Michelle would stay… as Queen… if she were with child,” she says, her eyes looking at the ground as Peter frowns. "And my husband is not well enough to -"

“MJ is not going to agree to that,” Peter scoffs and when he looks over at the Queen, she looks like she knows that.

“I know,” she whispers, her eyes suddenly wet and it hits him all at once. The reason for her being in the dungeons, the way her mother came to find him to ask for help. They have no intention of asking her at all and he grabs the makeshift shooters as the red mist settles over his mind.

“Where is she?”

Peter stalks down the corridors, following the directions the Queen gave him. He’s blocking out the chatter from people walking around until he hears Beck’s voice and he stops, lingering behind a corner while he talks.

“I need you to leave a jug of water at the dungeon door,” he sneers to some worker who doesn’t deserve his disdain. 

“Yes sir,” Peter hears, the shaking of a voice as they all but run towards the kitchen. 

Peter spins into the shadowed corridor that leads down to the dungeons, Beck still lingering like he’s going to stop people from going down there. 

“Oh, I know you think you belong in the dungeons,” he laughs when he sees Peter. He probably doesn’t remember him at all, Beck just knows he’s a worker so speaks to him like dirt because that’s just the type of person he is. It doesn’t matter right now, Peter doesn’t care enough about him. 

“Hey,” Beck barks out when Peter continues to walk towards him and the way he straightens his shoulders is futile. Peter’s hand is around his neck, throwing him against the wall as Beck claws at his hands. 

“Where is she?”

“Get your -”

Peter punches the wall, the bricks cracking and Beck whimpers at the sound. He wonders how much it will take for Beck to give up his trusted friend. 

“That will be your face,” Peter says, his voice low as he gets dangerously close. “If you do not tell me where the fuck she is.”

“Last - last one - straight down -”

“If she is hurt,” Peter says, his voice low as his thumb constricts Beck’s windpipe. “If she so much as has a fucking scratch. I will kill you.”

“You -” Beck chokes out, but Peter can’t entertain him right now, so he slams his head against the wall to knock him out and he forgets to care how he falls when he pulls his hand away. Peter will protect MJ whatever it takes and that includes outing his powers so he doesn’t have to get her out while fighting off the entire King’s court. 

He runs because he has no idea how far away she is and he’s terrified it’s been too long already. He can’t hear her heartbeat which makes him feel like he might just disintegrate on the spot but he runs anyway. There are far too many empty cells and he can’t think about why they have her in the furthest one because he won’t make it.

But then he hears her. And he runs a little faster.

“Go away, Harry,” she seethes, but he hears the terror in her tone. Her voice shakes as something clinks and Peter thinks if she’s in shackles he might kill Harry just for that. 

“Why do you pretend you do not want me,” Harry asks, his tone venomous. “I know you do.”

“Oh yeah, was it the handcuffs that made that clear?”

Harry laughs something sinister and Peter hears MJ’s intake of breath just before Harry curses, clearly recoiling in pain. But it’s alright, Peter has found her - he can see her terrified eyes find his from behind the iron bars. She lets out a sound he never wants to hear again as the padlock snaps under his palm and he kicks the thick door open. 

“Just leave the water,” Harry sighs, his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose. Peter walks over anyway, his eyes scanning MJ and he watches her chest expand and she doesn’t look hurt but he will kill someone for the mere thought of hurting her anyway. 

“Can you not understand -” Harry starts but again, Peter is not interested in whatever he has to say and he grabs his throat - Harry’s face turning red in seconds. 

“Did he hurt you?” Peter asks Michelle, his eyes lingering on her face. She doesn’t speak, her shoulders shaking slightly probably with adrenaline and shock. 

“Em?” he pleads, his hand tightening as she doesn’t answer him. He hears Harry’s gasps and he knows he’s about to run out of oxygen but he doesn’t care. 

“No,” she whispers, shaking her head. “No, I am alright.”

Peter drops Harry, who lands on one knee grasping his throat. 

“Are you fucking -”

Peter kicks him in the face, Harry's head bouncing off the floor but Peter won’t linger on whether or not he can hear a pulse. 

“Hey,” he whispers, suddenly aware he was violent when she doesn’t need any violence right now. 

“Hi,” she replies, her eyes watery but she doesn’t tense when he walks over slowly. He runs his fingers down her arms, hooking his fingers through the rusty cuffs around her wrists. She holds his gaze as he pulls them apart, tossing them in a corner so she’s free. 

“I -” he starts, but he's cut off as she throws her arms around his shoulders. “Are you okay?” he begs, his hands wrapped around her waist, one buried in her hair.  

“I love you,” she replies instead, her face buried in the crook of his neck. “I knew you would find me I just thought it would be later and I - “

“I know, I know,” he says, his hand in her hair. “Let's get out of here, okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispers, then, “your room.”

“Okay, sweetheart.”

Peter gives MJ his thickest set of pyjamas, cleaning his room while she changes in his washroom. He never feels weird about watching her change usually but he’s terrified of upsetting her after today. So he paces as he waits for her to finish, unsure of where she’ll want to sit. 

She comes out, her dress folded in her arms, looking all too adorable with her hair in a messy bun and his thick socks attempting to reach his sweats halfway up her calf. She throws the dress on the chair, all but collapsing on his bed with a sigh. 

He perches on the chair, smiling as she rubs her eyes with a groan. 

“What are you doing?” she asks, her lips pouted and her brows furrowed. 

“Watching you be cute,” he shrugs. 

“Loser,” she smiles, moving onto her side of his tiny bed. He doesn’t move. 

“Are you sleepy?” he asks and she frowns at him. 

“Why are you not coming here?” she asks, her eyes immediately watering and he races the two steps to sit on the bed next to her hair, his hand resting on her cheek. 

“Hey,” he whispers, “what is the matter?” 

“Why are you avoiding me? You have been ever since we got to your room - do you want me to leave?”

“I never want you to leave, I just did not want to overwhelm you. I do not know how terrified you must have been, I was the second I knew where you were and -”

“But you won’t hurt me,” she says, confused as anything. 

“Of course, of course, I won’t,” he promises. 

“Then come and lay down with me.”

He lays down, feeling his heart settle when she immediately lays on him, her legs twisting with his, her head on his chest. 

“I love you,” he breathes. “Are you alright?”

“I will be fine, I am safe here with you. I feel safe with you.”

“I am so glad you are. God, MJ,” he says, letting out a deep breath as he holds her close. 

“How did you find me? I thought -” she says, her voice faltering. “I thought you would not know I was missing until later.”

“Your mother told me.”

“What?!” she asks, her head shooting up from his chest. 

“She knows we are together,” he says because he never wants to keep anything from her. 

“Fuck.”

“She asked me to go and get you and -”

“What is happening to you?” she asks, her eyes wide with worry. 

“Nothing, sweetheart. She did not tell your father - she just wanted you to be safe.”

“Oh,” she whispers, her fingers tracing patterns on his chest. “She is always doing that.”

“She loves you in the best way she knows how,” he says, his fingers twisting in a stray curl.

“I know. I know she does,” she smiles. 

“And guess what?” 

“What is that?” she asks, resting her head on her arms. He loves her so much he feels a little insane for it.

“Before I knew she wanted help with you… I asked her to let me into the tournament in exchange for my help.”

“What?” she asks, sitting bolt upright. “What did she say?”

He smiles at her and she smiles back before he says, “you are looking at a fierce competitor for your heart. I mean we should check she has not double crossed me but -”

“Are you joking right now? Because it is not funny.”

“I would never.”

“You will win,” she says, her voice wet as her eyes flicker over his face. 

“I will,” he laughs, something far too bright for the day she’s had.

“And then -”

“And then, if you would like, we can get married.”

“But you do not want to be King… we can figure something out, right? Erm, you could be -” she stops talking when he sits up, his hand against her face as his nose brushes hers. 

“I would do anything for you and all I have ever really wanted is to be your husband.”

“Peter,” she breathes, her smile brightening his dingy bedroom. “I love you so much.”

“I love you back,” he whispers when she kisses him. “I love you right back.”

Peter wasn’t in on the plan to not tell the King about his relationship with his daughter. It doesn’t feel right to let him think he got away with his disgusting plan to hurt her but her mother gave up a lot to tell him. To keep her safe. So he agreed with what MJ said. They’d keep their relationship private until he won - until it seemed like his father’s idea to let him enter the tournament lest he does anything hasty while MJ has relatively little power. 

Peter doesn’t care about him at all, for all he cares, he could choke on his dinner now and he wouldn’t offer his hand to help him. MJ is becoming agitated, that much is clear. Peter is as well because her father is ranting about her loyalty to the crown and her mother has not said anything about the tournament yet. 

MJ picks her fork up and then places it back down, a small smile on her face though she refuses to meet Peter’s eye.

“Darling,” the Queen starts, her voice sure even if Peter thinks he can notice some reluctance. “What if the person who won the competition married Michelle but stayed as Knight Commander instead of becoming King.” 

“What good would that do?” her father barks out. But MJ’s heart is already racing, her fingers drumming on the top of the table. 

“Well, it would allow your daughter a smidgen of happiness and you know she will not change her values to appease a man.”

“I -”

“For me,” her mother says, her voice low but Peter hears it. “Do it for me.”

The King’s jaw tenses and Peter is about to just run out of here with Michelle but then he sighs.

“Fine,” her father says. Peter can’t tell if he genuinely just wanted to help the Queen or maybe he’s realising how insane it is to let Harry into the family when he hasn’t turned up to dinner in the last few days. 

Michelle’s eyes flick straight to Peter and he can see now how her mother picked up on it. It’s obvious to anyone who cares about her that she’s in love. 

“You will have to get Michelle to agree though and she is hell bent on being -”

“I agree,” she says, not looking back at her father, she’s looking at Peter. 

“You agree?” her father asks, the anger evident in his voice - it always is whenever he speaks to her and Peter wonders if they can banish him once she’s Queen. Maybe they could banish him and then dismantle the monarchy just to watch his face bulge. 

“Yes. I will marry whoever wins the tournament… as long as I get to pick someone to enter.” 

“Oh for goodness sake,” her father says, his face bulging right now. 

“Darling,” her mother soothes - her hand inches closer to his on the table. “It is only one out of the hundreds… what chance could they possibly stand?”

“You are right,” he huffs, a bark of a laugh leaving his throat. “Fine, one participant of your choosing. As if Harry is not your best choice.”

“Oh sure,” MJ replies, rolling her eyes. “Someone that only gets what they want when I am in handcuffs whether I want it or not.”

“What?” he asks, slamming his cup down so hard the liquid sloshes from his goblet. Peter is about to march over because MJ tenses but then she speaks. 

“Father, do not pretend like you did not know,” she laughs humourlessly. 

“Did not know what? What is going on?” he shouts. Peter wonders if he’s a good actor or if he genuinely didn’t know. It seems like the latter. He hates him either way.

“Darling,” her mother tries, her hand touching his now. 

“Are you hurt?” he asks Michelle directly. 

“I am fine,” she replies. “But only because of Peter.”

“Who is Peter!?”

“My choice for the tournament,” she says, looking directly at Peter again. She smiles at him, a beautiful thing he’ll tuck away in the folds of his heart. “And the person I am in love with.”

“Oh for fu -”

[Ummm they had sex here bye x]

 “Hi sweetie,” May says, throwing her arms around his shoulders.

“Hey May,” Peter replies, his voice sounding tight as she squeezes him.

“Hey man,” he says, a quick handshake with Ned who probably sees May more than he does now that they share a schedule in the library. 

“So how can we help?” Ned asks around a bite of his lunch. Ned gets straight to the point always and Peter appreciates them helping him on short notice and during their lunch break.

“I am going in the tournament,” he says, waiting for May to chastise him for potentially getting hurt even though she knows about his powers.  Instead, she squeals, clapping her hands as she tries to quickly chew her sandwich. Ned is equally as ecstatic and both he and May hug like this is the information they’ve been waiting for. 

“Guys?” he asks, loving the enthusiasm even if he is a little confused. 

“Oh, Peter! We have been waiting,” May starts, pushing her glasses on top of her head so she can wipe her eyes dry. Ned continues for her.

“Dude, we have known you loved,” he starts, his voice a hushed whisper when he says the name, Michelle, “since you started! There was no way she was ever marrying someone that was not you.”

“Of course not, Eddie,” May says and Ned beams. “And she is in love with you… that girl is gone. You two are made for each other, we just… we have been waiting.”

“Oh,” he says, feeling himself blush as they smile at him. He can’t wait for May to get to know MJ properly, the love MJ has always craved will be given so freely with her. 

“And you can get married, right?” Ned asks, peeling an orange. “When you win, I mean.”

“Yeah,” he replies, running his hand through his hair. “We spoke about it last night… that is actually why I am here.”

“What?” May gasps, her eyebrows high and her eyes full of hope. 

“I am going to ask her to marry me - I want to ask her before, erm, well before the tournament because I want - I want -”

“To show her how much you care without it getting caught up,” Ned says, pausing mid sentence to take a sip of his water, not that it matters, May continues for him. 

“Caught in the ridiculous spectacle that is fighting for her love?”

“Yes,” Peter laughs. “I am going to do it by the lake and I will have candles I have been gathering in the stables since the first day she told me she loved me. I was thinking of just a low key picnic or something, what do you think?” he asks. 

May is outwardly sobbing and Ned is digging in his pockets for handkerchiefs so Peter gathers it’s fine. 

“Perfect,” May replies with a sniff. “I am in the kitchen the day after tomorrow so I can make you something if you think you can wait that long?”

“And I can get you some flowers from the gardens in the morning,” Ned says, making a note in his book. “What colour are her favourites?”

“White,” Peter replies quickly. “Thank you, guys. It does not have to be that quick… I still need to make a ring.”

“You can have this one,” May says simply, pulling a chain from around her neck, the ring hidden by her dress. 

“May,” he whispers, his palm open though he’s not going to accept her offer. He can’t.

“I want you to have it. I want Michelle to have it,” she says, placing the engagement ring in his hand, hers clamped over his.

“May this is all you have left of Ben.”

“That is not true,” she replies, her hand against his face, titling him to look at her. “I have you. And you are going to give me grandbabies.”

“Yeah,” he laughs, the thought of having children with Michelle being one of the things he thinks about almost every hour. 

“You love her,” she states. 

“I do.”

“That is all I have ever wanted for you,” May replies, a watery laugh because she’s just too happy. “She is what you deserve. And MJ? Or Em… she loves you so much it makes my heart sing."

“She really does,” he says, a laugh bubbling up from his chest as he feels May’s arms wrap around him. 

“Take it,” she says, clamping her hand on his harder. “Please, it would make me so happy. Ben would want you to have it.”

“Okay," he sobs lightly, then, "thank you.”

Peter wrings his fingers together as he hears her footsteps. He’s not nervous she’s going to say no, he’s just excited at the prospect of getting to spend his life with her. He looks around to check it’s perfect - the wind is slightly stronger than he would like so the petals keep being picked up but it’s alright. The way he’s situated the candles means they shouldn’t blow out even if the wind picks up considerably. 

“Pete?” 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispers, stepping out from behind a tree just so he can see the moment her eyes widen slightly when she sees him. 

“Hi,” she smiles, then, “what is this?”

He waits until he can pull her into his arms, her hands lacing behind his neck as she kisses him slowly. He threads his hands into her hair, holding her close as he pulls back for air. 

“I love you,” he whispers, his chest heaving as she rests her forehead against his. 

“I love you.”

“I am going to beat them next week, whatever it takes.”

“Yeah,” she whispers, her hands playing with the ends of his hair. 

“I would beat them without powers because I need you,” he says, his hands gripping the back of her neck with the intensity of his words, his lips against hers again. “I need you and I want you and I would do anything to protect you.”

“I know,” she gasps. “I know you will.”

“And when I do beat them, we will be free to marry,” he says, his smile cutting through his cheeks before he can finish his sentence. He strokes his thumb across her cheeks as her eyes glisten with the candlelight.

“Yeah,” she replies, smiling at him like she has no idea how gone for her he is. Like she has no idea this is all for her. It will hurt when he thinks back on it, how unaware she is that she deserves the best in life. But for right now, he’ll push that to the back of his mind. And he’ll let go of her face as he gets down on one knee and watches her jaw drop and her eyes widen.

“What are you doing?” she asks, her eyes flicking over his face. 

“I love you,” he says, his voice wet as the tears pool in the corners of his eyes. He pulls a small wooden box he made this afternoon holding May’s ring out of his pocket, lifting the lid as he turns it to face her.

“I love you back.”

“I know,” he laughs. The thought is as utterly absurd as it was when he first sat down next to her. There was never a chance he deserved her then and he definitely doesn’t now but he loves her anyway. 

“I will stand by your side, whatever you decide to do and I will -”

“Peter,” she laughs, her hand over her mouth but he can see her smile peeking through her fingers. “Just ask me.”

“You are not allowed to order me around when I am your husband,” he whispers, standing up because he misses the feel of her hands. She doesn't make him wait, her hands pulling his face towards hers, her lips telling him she’s saying yes even though he hasn’t heard the words yet. 

“You always do whatever you want anyway,” she laughs, her tongue in his mouth before he can combat her. Their kiss is soft, though he feels her shiver against him anyway. Peter feels the edges of the ring box in his palm as he spreads his other hand against her back. 

“I will do whatever you want me to, forever,” he promises. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she replies instantly.

“Princess,” he teases, pressing his lips against hers. “Please marry me.”

“Peter,” she groans, though he feels the smile across her face as she kisses him back. 

“Em, marry me,” he says again just so she’ll push him away and he can chase after her. She does, her hands against his chest like she does when she likes to pretend he’s winding her up. He lets her get three steps away before he reaches for her wrist, spinning her back to him until their chest to chest. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispers, both hands on her waist as she rests hers on his chest. 

“You are so -” she groans, her smile wide as she rolls her eyes at him. She’s all he ever wants to look at. 

“I am so what?”

“You are the love of my life," she says with a light sigh.

“I promise to love you forever,” he says, his hand finding her left on his chest. He slides the ring on her finger, and it fits perfectly because of course, it does. He watches the emerald sparkle in the candlelight and when he looks back at her, she’s already looking at him, her lip caught between her teeth. 

“You can paint the nursery whatever colour you like and you can dismantle the monarchy on a Thursday if you like and you can ask me to run you a bath at four am. You can have whatever you want from me. I will love you forever anyway.”

“I will love you, as well,” she whispers, her eyes wet as she looks at him. 

“If I ask you again are you going to say no?” he asks, pressing his lips to the ring before he wraps his hand around the back of her neck. 

“You can find out if you like,” she smirks at him but he can hear her heart, it always gives her away. 

“MJ, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she beams and he lifts her to spin her around because it seems like the right thing to do. It is, she’s magnificent. 

And best of all, though he’ll never say it out loud. 

She’s his.

[chapter eight honeybunch]

“I cannot believe you have to go,” she says, her finger tracing the fuzzy part of his eyebrow. 

“I know,” he sighs, leaning into her hand. “But in a week I will be able to stay with you and it will be our room.”

“It is already ours,” she replies. 

“Does that mean I can outlaw the need for so many pillows?” he asks, his eyes bright as he kisses her palm.

“Get out,” she laughs, then, “you neanderthal.” 

“Whatever you want me to be, sweetheart… I will be it.” 

“I will only ever want you to be yourself,” she replies, leaning up to press her lips to his nose. “My frustratingly handsome, way too energetic, soon to be husband.”

“ Yours ,” he smiles, capturing her lips. He moves to stand and she really needs to get a grip with how much she hopes he doesn’t leave even though she knows he has to. She smiles at him as he dresses, giggling as he sticks his tongue out at her. She’s so humiliatingly in love but she knows he won't call her out on it so she doesn’t mind. 

She pulls the blankets around her as she ignores his pleas for her to stay in bed, so she can walk him to the window. 

“I will see you at breakfast,” he says, half hanging out of her window and the way she misses him already is borderline embarrassing. 

“Soon, you will be able to have breakfast with me,” she whispers, pushing his curls from his face. 

“I cannot wait for forever with you, darling.”

Michelle twists the ring on her finger as she walks into the great hall. Things have been… better since her father agreed she could enter Peter into the tournament. She’s seen the papers and she lets herself dream that this could work out for them. 

But then the doors close behind her and the air is too cold, almost terrifyingly so and she sees why a moment later when she catches Harry and Beck smirking at her from their positions at the table. She hasn’t seen either of them since - since the incident and she’s not sure how much they know about Peter’s powers but she can’t imagine he was any less subtle with Beck as he was with Harry. 

They both deserved it, that much is obvious. But she wonders how her father will react. How the kingdom will react. 

Peter isn’t here yet which is concerning but not entirely out of character for him. She would let him get away with murder so he’s often a few minutes late. She only really minds now because Harry hasn’t taken his eyes off her since she walked in. 

There is a noticeable space at the table though and she foolishly waits until her heart is in her throat and she’s sitting down to ask. 

“Where is Mother?” she asks, proud that she keeps the shake from her tone. She hasn’t seen Harry since - well since Peter knocked him out and she doesn’t like the way he’s looking at her now. She averts her gaze. 

“She is in her room, Princess,” Beck replies, the dangerous venom in his voice obvious to her and Harry if his smirk is anything to go by. 

It’s not like MJ thinks they’d try anything with her father right there, not that he’s managed to even look at her since she came through the doors, but she’ll feel better when she can see Peter. When she can feel his eyes on her even when he’s behind her. She never feels safer than when he’s around. 

“Oh,” she replies, her hand rubbing against her watch, trying not to make it too clear she’s searching the room for Peter. That she’s spent her life not needing protection but the second he turned up, she found she was desperate for it. 

She follows the grain of the wood on the dining table with her eyes waiting for someone to say something. Anything. 

But then Harry thumps the table with his hand as he places his cup down and she can’t help the way her eyes flicker over. Her breath hitches as her gaze lands on the painted web shooters wrapped around Harry’s wrist. The same ones she painted for Peter. The ones she knows Peter had on last night. 

“So, the tournament is next week, Princess, are you hoping I am victorious or Beck?”

“I would rather die,” she replies, tracing her ring with her forefinger under the table. How does Harry have those? Maybe he stole them from Peter’s room this morning. She wills her mind not to go anywhere unhelpful. Anywhere she’ll have to think about why Peter isn’t here right now - he’s probably just by the lake or sitting in a tree. 

She’s brought out of her head by Beck’s casual threats at the dining table. 

“That can be arranged,” Beck whispers, his voice low and venomous. 

“Threatening the future Queen is not how I would go about trying to become King, Quentin, but I suppose you have no chance either way.”

Beck’s face turns purple as he slams his fist on the table, “you want to watch your mouth unless you want to suffer the same fate as your dishevelled farm boy.”

“And what fate is that?” she asks, her heart hammering because how does he know? Surely her father hasn’t said anything about them being together? Though she guesses it could be any of the waiters or guards that were there when she ran her mouth.

“Your father informed us of your blossoming relationship that was going -”

“You cannot be serious, Father,” she scoffs, her hands balled into fists under the table. He says nothing but she wasn’t really expecting him to. She chances a look over at him and he still hasn’t moved. His neck is in an unsettling position. 

“Father.”

She moves her hand to rest over his and he’s far too cold. 

“Father?” she repeats, racing from her seat. She moves to check his temperature but it’s clear to her now that it wouldn’t matter. He’s already gone. 

“What - what - hey,” she stutters, waving over the guards. “Can you - can you just open your eyes, please?”

The guards are there then, the commotion of the death of the King is almost enough to make her pass out - the exclamations, the gunfire announcement. But she needs to get to her mother - she can’t stay here with them. She chances a look at Harry and he’s paler than she’s ever seen him. 

“What do you mean he is dead?!” Harry whispers, looking like he’s about to run for the hills. MJ has to strain to hear them over the clicking of armour and the shouting of guards.

“We needed him out of the way. He was the final obstacle after Jasper.”

“What?” Harry blanches. “Did you - are you responsible for Jasper?”

“You are welcome,” Beck drawls. 

“You killed Jasper?” MJ asks, the fear settling into her bones at the lengths this man will go to - to sit on the throne. He was her brother’s best friend - the one person she thought she could count on to keep him safe and it turns out he probably murdered him in the middle of the battlefield. 

“It was not even difficult,” he whispers. “He put up less of a fight than Parker.”

“Did you - Harry,” she says, turning away from Beck’s smug smile. Harry looks about as distraught as MJ feels and she thinks fuck him for that. It’s clear to her that he didn’t know about Beck’s plans to murder to father and probably knew less than her about Jasper but fuck him anyway. He doesn’t deserve to feel anything but remorse. 

“Harry,” she repeats, her voice shaking. He looks over at her, his eyes about as kind as they ever have been with her - even when they were together. “Where is Peter?”

MJ runs through the castle, barging her way through guards who try to stop her. People who try to console her. She only really needs her mother right now. 

She barrels through the doors, her mother is obviously waiting for her and Michelle wonders if she knows. If the news has already spread.

“Father is -”

“I know,” her mother breathes, her face wet as MJ sits on the bed next to her. “I know.”

“Beck it was - he was -”

“I know,” her mother replies, finding her hand. “But we need to be strong now, alright? We cannot stay in bed, we have to fight this.”

“I cannot -” MJ sobs, her head resting on her mother’s lap. She hopes her mother lets her stay here for a while. She’s not even sure how to pretend everything has not fallen apart. That her heart doesn’t feel like lead. 

“Michelle,” she replies, her hand stroking over her hair. “I know this is tough, okay? But you need - we need to be strong for the sake of the country. Beck has - Beck has gone to great lengths to be put on the throne. He has murdered half our family and yet no one will believe me,” her mother says, her voice bordering on hysteric before she makes an obvious effort to calm down. 

Michelle thinks of how unfair it all is for her mother. Unable to do anything now her husband has been killed. And she thinks about the last time they had to attend a funeral and how she doesn’t think she could go through it again. 

The air was frigid, the wind biting at her cheeks but she could barely feel it. She could barely feel anything at all other than her mother’s hand holding onto hers. Her heart was painful, it still is. The ache blossomed through her chest until she was surprised she could stand at all.

She remembers blinking rapidly, the way she was not supposed to show any emotions as the future Queen but the tears fell as she shuddered out a breath but it didn't matter. When she opened her eyes, the gravestone was still there. The ground was still fresh. Jasper is still gone.

“No one will believe me as Queen. Not over him, the King’s trusty advisor,” her mother says, bringing her out of the nightmare of reliving her biggest failure.

“Why can you not rule?” MJ asks, her body overcome with sobs. She’s not even sure how she would go about it now. Not without Peter. 

“I was only married into royalty, sweetheart. I can only rule until the tournament -”

“We cannot have a tournament,” MJ replies, sitting up and attempting to dry her cheeks. “Father is - it is too soon.”

“We do not have a choice. Your father changed the laws before he died,” her mother states. “He will not be buried until you have been crowned. It is the only way to stave off a coup. It was the only way to protect you.”

“Did he know Beck was going to betray him?” MJ asks, her heart feeling heavy at her father protecting her within his last hours. It’s weird, how useless someone can be while they’re alive and the way you miss them the moment they are gone anyway. 

“Yes. When you said about the dungeons,” her mother whispers, looking anywhere but at Michelle. “He knew then. He just did not know-how. But it was too late when we had figured it out - and he was not of sound mind. But the tournament is still on and you will rule. And you can rule with Peter. That was your father’s final wish. He just wanted you to be happy with your husband.”

“Peter is dead,” MJ whispers, her tears falling faster than she can stop them. It’s the first time she’s made her brain think about it - and it’s all-consuming. She always wanted a love that rivalled the most romantic of books and all the things she’d ever dreamt about. But she forgot to think about what losing that kind of love would do. 

She forgot that grief and love are conjoined. 

“What?” her mother gasps, pulling Michelle into her arms as she breaks down. 

“They drowned him in the lake,” she replies, holding onto her mother’s robes with all her strength. 

“Oh, sweetheart. It is alright, you are alright.”

Michelle spent the day with her mother, focussing on their plan for survival. How they will cope if Beck wins. MJ thinks she could kill him in her sleep. She thinks May would probably help her if she could muster up the courage to go and see her. But she got into bed the first day and she cried until she was exhausted and then she cried some more. 

And now she can’t get out. She hasn’t been able to for days. She ignores the door and the food calls. She ignores everything that is not the blossoming hole in her heart. The way her body feels entirely too heavy and empty at the same time. How unfair it is that she continues to be here, living, breathing - when Peter is gone. 

She knows she has things to do but none of it matters without him anyway. What’s the point in a world without Peter Parker?

She misses him. She misses him. And she’s not sure how she’s supposed to cope when every time his face enters her mind her knees feel weak underneath her, even though she’s laying down.

MJ never saw herself as particularly religious but she wishes she had something to hold onto now, something that made any of this make any sense. Because all she thinks now is that there’s no way out of this pain. There���s never going to be another day where her chest isn’t threatening to split open with how much she wants to hear his voice, or feel his hands, or just know that he’s out there. 

All she knows now, all she can keep close to her now, is that he loved her. 

That’s all she has left. 

MJ makes it out of bed the day before the tournament, some kind of intervention to make sure she’ll be seen at the grounds tomorrow. 

But she only makes it as far as Peter’s dorm. It’s unchanged, the bed still hastily made, his clothes thrown onto the chair and it takes her out. Her knees buckle as her hand comes to her chest, desperate to keep her heart in place. 

She whimpers as she sinks to the floor, gripping onto his duvet to soften her fall. Everything about this room she loves. The way he pinned her sketches to the wall. The way he always left a sweater under his pillow for when she was here because she was always cold. The way she never felt more at home than when she was wrapped in his arms, barely able to stay on the bed with how cramped they were. 

“I love you,” she whispers, the sound fading away so quickly it just gets caught in her sobs. 

She crawls to his bed, pulling herself under the sheets as she buries her face in his pillow. It smells like him and it hurts as much as it helps. She pulls the sweater out from under the pillow, her fingers tightening around a piece of paper placed on top. 

Good morning, sweetheart, it reads, with a small heart next to it. MJ doesn’t know when it was written, she probably wasn’t even there. He probably had no idea when she would be staying in his room again - but he was always doing things to make her smile. 

And he still can, even with the ugly noises coming from her throat. Even when she feels like the darkness will never leave. He makes her smile even then. 

There is a knock on Peter’s bedroom door and for a moment MJ thinks it might be him. That he might just come walking through the door. She’s so sure of it she bolts upright, wiping her face free from tears. Peter never minds when she cries but she knows it hurts him all the same.

“Peter?”

And then she remembers that he’s lying at the bottom of the lake instead. 

“Come in,” she mumbles. Beck wouldn’t be able to find her here and she’s not sure she has the capacity to think about how awful it could be if he does. 

“Hey, sweetie,” May whispers, the door clicking closed behind her. When Michelle looks up it’s obvious May has been told. Her eyes are red-rimmed as she walks closer and MJ doesn’t know what to say. How do you apologise for getting someone’s son killed?”

“May -” she starts, her voice shaky.

“No,” May replies, her voice kind but firm. “This is not your fault. It is not your fault.” 

“He is gone and I do not know how to deal with it,” Michelle gasps. May’s arms are around her then, her hug warm and soft and everything that suggests the way Peter loves he learned from her. 

“It gets easier,” May whispers. “It gets easier but it never goes away but that is how you know it was real.”

“It is too soon.”

“I know.”

May coaxes her to lie down, her head hitting the pillow at the same time MJ’s does. MJ lays the cover over her as well. May holds her tight, her arms around her waist as her legs slot in behind her. They’re both in far too many outer layers to make it completely comfortable but it’s the only time since Peter has gone that she has felt any level of comfort. 

It still aches deep behind her eyes and the length of her chest and she’s not sure that will ever lessen. It will probably only get worse. But May’s arms and her breathing help. MJ isn’t alone in this. 

“The tournament is tomorrow,” May starts. “Are you alright?”

“Harry abandoned ship,” MJ replies instead of trying to tell her she’ll be fine. They both know she’d be lying. “He said whatever Beck had been planning was behind his back so he wanted nothing more to do with him,” MJ whispers. “But I think he just knew he would never be able to get to that level - I do not think he could ever kill himself and he knows Beck would turn on him with the slightest interference.” 

“And Beck?”

“He is still here,” Michelle sighs, feeling May do the same. “He is not strong enough to win on his own but he must have something else. You cannot kill the King and - and -” MJ stutters, the agony crawling up her throat at the mere thought of his name.

“Okay, it is alright,” May soothes, her hands rubbing MJ’s arms. “Just know that he would only want the best for you. Whatever that looks like now, he would only want the best for you.”

Michelle falls asleep in Peter’s room, May telling her childhood stories about how he stuck up for the younger children and how he adored frogs and how he always knew he was destined to have a great love - like her and Ben. 

“He found it with you. He has gone too early and it will never be fair. But he found the love of his life first.

Michelle takes her breakfast to the lake the morning of the tournament. She wants to eat with Peter. 

She tries not to look around, to see if there is evidence of his struggle. But all she finds are flowers. Black Dahlia’s he had planted weeks prior because she said she liked them but the groundskeepers never entertained the thought of having them on castle grounds. 

They’re in bloom and they make her smile. He always manages to make her smile. 

“The tournament is today,” she mutters, sitting down on the log stool he made for her when she liked to watch him split wood. “The crowd is already starting to arrive.”

She pulls her food out though she knows she can’t eat it. She hasn’t been able to eat in days and she’s not sure when May will force-feed her. It doesn’t matter though - the sandwiches are for Peter. 

“Peanut butter,” she laughs, a watery little thing as she pulls them from the cloth. “Your favourite. It is a good thing we became best friends.”

It’s peaceful here, the slight roll along the top of the lake from the wind. The flowers are starting to bloom. She loves this place, she will always love this place. It’s the only place she can spend time with the person she loves. 

“I miss you so much it hurts to breathe and I am sure you would call me dramatic,” she says, a bubble of laughter that has no place being here crawls up from her heart. She can never be too sad when she’s thinking about him. “But alone is the last place I wanted to be,” she whispers, sprinkling the sandwich into the water. “And no one compares to you so I think I will be alone forevermore.”

She hears the sounds of trumpets, the clinking of hooves and the clattering of amour. Her time with Peter is up for today. But she’ll be back tomorrow. And every day for the rest of her life. 

“I am going to make you so proud,” she sniffs, pulling her handkerchief out before her make up runs any further. “I will always be thinking about you - I am always thinking about you.”

She stands up, dusting her trousers off and she bends to pick a dahlia steam. She tucks it behind her ear, straightens her watch and her ring and takes a deep breath. 

“See you in the stars, darling.”

Beck is winning too easily. His hits are too hard and he doesn’t appear to be out of breath at all. And it is unnecessary for how thick his armour is. No one else in the Kingdom has the money he has - so he could probably get away with just standing there as they attempted to hit him with their swords that bend in the wind. 

But he isn’t. Even with her ruling that there is no death today - there is never a reason to kill unless the threat can not be taken out another way - he knocks them out too hard. He aims for the head and the chest with weapons that should be too heavy for him to carry. 

She watches as the guards line up another prospective knight. Another person for Beck to hurt in the name of what? For her heart? He’ll never have it. For the kingdom? Well, she doesn’t have much choice about that. But she’ll fight him at every turn.

MJ waits with bated breath as the guards call out fewer and fewer people. The list disappearing before her eyes. No one has even come close. 

Beck appears to be the last one standing.

She sees it now. This was all she was ever destined for. It is what she deserves for her place in the family that has so long denied people of so many things. She wants to change it - she is changing it. But maybe it’s been too long. Maybe she doesn’t deserve to try. 

She goes to stand but the crowd starts buzzing with something she can’t understand - their heads all craning around each other to see something she can’t see from her position. 

Beck is furious. Practically stomping his feet and she still doesn’t understand. 

“What is going on?” she asks. May looking equally confused beside her.

But then she sees it. A knight riding on the back of a galloping horse with no body armour, no weapon - he only has a helmet. 

“Is he trying to get himself killed?!” MJ shouts, trying to move past people to order the guards to halt. To get him away before Beck murders him in plain sight and calls it an accident. 

“I demand to know why you think you can just turn up here, without signing up,” Beck shouts, his voice shaky even when his body suggests he’s fine. 

The knight doesn’t respond. They just climb down from their horse and look over at Michelle. But then they walk to the guard, muttering something she can’t hear over the noise of the crowd. But the flag goes up. 

The battle is on. 

“All this,” Beck seethes, waving the sharp point of his sword towards the chest of the new potential suitor. The one with no armour at all. God, MJ hates blood. 

“For her? For Michelle? Please,” he scoffs. “She is not worth it.”

The knight moves, his fist against Beck’s helmet before anyone can scream at him that he’s about to break his hand. But Beck is on the floor within seconds, his sword falling uselessly beside him as the stranger continues to pummel Beck’s face into the ground. 

He’s not stopping. He doesn't know about the rule. He’s going to kill him. 

MJ raises her hand. The guards blowing their horns to stop the round. 

“We do not kill if there is no threat,” she says, her voice echoing around the stadium. The knight stops his assault immediately. His fist is bloody which means he managed to get past Beck’s mask. MJ wonders if she wants to know who they are at all if they’re as strong as they suggest. 

“Reveal yourself.”

He moves to lift his helmet off immediately and all MJ can think is that this is the first time she hasn’t been thinking about Peter all day. Well. Until now anyway. The helmet comes off, the slightly auburn tinge to his hair coming into view first where his head is bowed. 

But then he drops his helmet and his face lifts and she’s truly never seen anything as magnificent in all her life. The pink hue on his cheeks. The kindness in his eyes. The slight lift at the corner of his mouth.

“Peter?”

He smiles at her, a shaky thing and she moves before her body recognises anything, her legs moving on their own accord as she hears May exclamations. She sprints down the steps, the crowd gasping as she leaps over the gate. She misses him. She’s missed him and she has no idea how he’s here but she only cares that he is. 

She’s close to him now, so close she sees the moment Peter tenses, his whole body moving before she’s had a chance to blink and she can barely register that she’s under attack. But then Beck is right there in front of her, the sword barely inches from her face as the stadium drops into silence. 

Her heart is in her throat and she thinks at least it’s her and not Peter. 

But the sword never makes contact, Peter pulling Beck away at the last moment. There’s a struggle and MJ is rooted to the spot - she knows Peter can protect her. She knows getting in the way would be useless. But she hates it anyway. 

The next time she blinks, she can only see Peter. 

“He is a threat to you,” Peter pleads, a long gash on his arm from the sword that is now falling to the floor. MJ watches in slow motion as Beck hits the ground again. She knows he’ll never stop. She knows he killed her father and her brother but she can’t ask Peter to kill him just because she doesn’t trust Beck to leave it alone. 

Because Peter is good and he’s kind and he’d never want to hurt anyone even if they deserved it. But it turns out she doesn’t need to worry - Peter will always protect her. And as Beck moves to lunge at her again, a feral look across his face - she watches the moment he realises it’s over.

For him. 

The way his eyes go glassy as Peter wedges the sword past the armour he wears, lodging it into his heart. She watches the way his hands stop twitching. She watches the blood pool into the dirt.

It’s over. Beck is gone.

And Peter is back.

It’s a rush. The roar of the crowd, the tears from her mother, May coming to see Peter. It all happens so fast MJ isn’t really sure of anything at all. All she really knows is she hasn’t touched Peter and she thinks if she doesn’t she might go insane. She’s utterly desperate to hold his hand, or thread her fingers through his hair, or kiss him even if it means she has to do so in front of everyone here. 

The crowd lingers in the stands as May holds Peter tight and the guards come to take Beck’s body. Her mother stands by her side as it’s announced there’s a winner of the tournament and because Peter’s name was submitted all along - his victory over Beck means he wins her heart. She will be married next week. Something she feared mere hours ago has worked out entirely how she always wanted but never dared to dream about. 

The crowd erupts again and it’s almost deafening. She knows Peter’s senses will be playing up so she spins to find him. He’s already looking at her. 

“Hi,” he mouths at her, a small smile across his face and something that looks a little too much like he’s not sure what she’s thinking. 

So she runs, thankful that she wore trousers today as she jumps at him. He’s ready for her, he always is. 

Her lips collide with his as she buries her hands in his hair. His hands wind around her waist and she knows the crowd is screaming, she knows there are flowers being thrown. She knows this isn’t how a queen should act. But all she can think about is Peter. 

“I did not mean to make an entrance,” he says, his lips still against hers.

“Liar,” she breathes. “You love some drama.”

“That I do, sweetheart, but not when I need to get back to you.”

“I missed you,” she gasps, her nose brushing his. “I missed you so much.”

“I am so sorry. I love you,” he repeats. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“Take me home,” she whispers.

They do not make it back to her room for a few more hours. The need to sign forms and discuss plans and reunite with friends coming before her need to kiss him again. It’s alright, she thinks. They have forever now. 

But the door to her room clicks closed and the air is… off. It’s awkward when it shouldn’t be. Maybe because she spent the week thinking he was dead and he’s right here in front of her. Maybe because he wanted more from her - to seek him out. Maybe she shouldn’t have blindly believed he was gone. 

So now it’s awkward and she doesn’t know why. 

She turns to face him when she reaches her bed, spinning to sit on the edge. Peter hasn’t moved very far from the doorway. 

She smiles at him, though it doesn’t feel like it should. They should be celebrating or planning or doing something other than - whatever it is they’re doing now. 

He looks like he wants to speak but won’t - but she knows him. So she waits. 

“I did not mean to leave you alone for that long,” he pleads. She doesn’t understand. “I did not know where I was and I - I did not want you to think I left you… that I would ever want to leave you.”

“I thought you had died,” she whispers.

“What?” 

“They told me they had drowned you in the lake.”

He scoffs angrily. “Beck put something in my water and I did not - ugh, I do not know what it was but luckily my body burned through it quicker than it took for it to kill me. But by then I was in a carriage in the middle of nowhere.”

“That must be what they used to kill Father.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Oh,” she laughs humourlessly, her hands fidgeting in her lap. “I suppose that news was lost today. Father was killed.”

“When?” he asks, moving closer for the first time. 

“The day you were gone,” she whispers. 

“MJ, I am so sorry," he says, his eyes watering as he looks at her. She wants to tell him it’s not his fault. That selfishly she missed him so much she barely thought about her father but now he’s back he can help her through her grief. She wants to tell him to just hold her hand - to tell her what he’s worried about. 

And then she remembers she’s going to marry this man. And if she wants to ask him. She can. 

“Peter,” she starts, his eyes wide as he nods. “Are you - erm, you are being - why are you being weird?”

He laughs slightly, moving to sit on the edge of her bed as far away as possible. “I did not know if you were scared or disappointed with my actions and I -”

“With Beck?” she asks. She wonders if it’s crass to say she’s never loved him more. Probably. Maybe.

“Yes,” he whispers, dropping his head. “I know you said we do not kill if there is not a threat and technically he was on the ground - I could have got him to stay on the ground but he - there have been too many instances with him and you and I will always protect you.”

“I know,” she smiles, moving her hand closer to him. He takes it, linking their fingers and she feels herself settle for the first time. “He killed Jasper,” she whispers. 

“Em,” he cracks out, his palm squeezing hers. 

“It is alright,” she says. “It put some nasty demons to rest and he is gone now so.”

“And how are you, really?” Peter asks, moving a smidgen closer. 

“I would be better if you would just come here,” she says, pulling his hand towards her as he laughs. But he does move, his thigh almost touching hers, his eyes dancing across her face. 

“The last week has been one of the worst of my life… but you are back and you are all I will ever need. So, all I really know,” she whispers as he sits a little closer still, his nose brushing her cheek. “Is that I missed you and I love you.”

“I missed you as well,” he replies, his hand stroking over her shoulder, pushing her hair behind her. “And I will love you forever.”

She groans as he smiles at her, the first time he’s looked entirely like her Peter since he got home. “Why must you make it into a competition?” she asks, though she doesn’t hate it really. 

“Well, I already won your heart once today,” he says, his voice low as he pushes her back against their mattress. “I guess I like the winning streak.”

“Yeah?” she asks, pulling her lip between her teeth as he lays between her legs. 

“Mmmm, not that I could ever lose with you.”

[They def have sex here as well good day! And they prob say i love you like a million times idk wake did check but like… bye] 

 The bath is not big enough for both of them. It wasn’t the first time but it is all they could have. Now she wonders about when they move from this room into a room for both of them - maybe they could get a bigger bath then. 

“Do you think May would want this room? Or should we give it to Ned and Betty?” MJ asks, leaning back against Peter’s chest. 

“What?” 

“You do not think any of them would like it? I mean it would get cleaned and they would get new -”

“You are letting May and - and Ned and Betty move up here?”

“Peter,” she laughs, spinning in her arms. He holds her face up with his palm under her chin “May is your mother. Of course -”

He cuts her off with his lips on hers. It’s a little wet with how steamy the bathroom is. 

“How do I fall more in love with you every second?” he asks, his thumb stroking across her cheek.

“Shut up,” she groans, trying to duck to hide her face in his neck but he doesn’t let her. 

“Will not,” he says, his lips against hers again. It’s soft until it’s not. MJ tries to pull herself along his body with her hand on the back of his neck.

“Why are we not married yet? I want to be married to you now,” she gasps. 

“Whenever you are ready, Em. I have been ready since I got here.” 

“We have to plan and -”

“I have an idea about that,” he whispers. 

“Ohhh, alright. Let us get dry and you can braid my hair and tell me?”

“Okay, sweetheart.”

Michelle walks through the door of the classroom, equally excited to see the children as she is to see Peter. He doesn’t look particularly different now he’s due to be her husband, his clothes are a little neater and there’s no dirt on his hands but his hair is just as fluffy as when he got out of bed this morning and she just knows he’s got a twig caught on his coat somewhere. 

She knows Peter knows she’s there, the slight lift of his shoulders when he recognised her heartbeat. But he’s with Finley right now so he won’t turn and look at her as much as she knows he wants to. 

“Mhmm,” Peter replies, writing something in his notebook. “I do not know if I can do all of these but leave it with me.”

“But MJ would do anything for you so just smile at her and ask for the sweets,” Finley giggles. 

“She would do anything for me. And she would do anything for you as well,” Peter replies, tapping Finley on the nose with his pencil. “But we must not be greedy of her kindness.”

“Okay… can I see the list?”

“Of course, keep anything you want the most, okay?”

Finley hums as Peter rises from the floor. 

“Good afternoon, darling,” he says, turning to face her as she rolls her eyes, numerous children giggling at their affection. 

“Hello,” she replies, tucking her hair behind her ear. He smiles at her like he knows she’s embarrassed because he’s a git but she loves him anyway. He walks over, his fingers lightly against her wrist and she’s missed him in the few hours they were apart. She finds she doesn’t mind the feeling as much when she knows he’ll always come back. 

“How was the floral arranging?” he asks, a little too close for her to be able to think properly which she knows is his intention. 

“Fine,” she breathes, her gaze dropping to his lips once. He capitalises, pulling her close to place a quick firm kiss on her mouth.

“Ewww,” Lucy says, laughing with Abigail in the corner. 

MJ doesn’t mind. She’d rather the kingdom know she’s hopelessly in love and that people are supposed to be happy than anything else. 

“How is the menu coming?” she asks, linking her fingers with his as they walk around the classroom. The group of girls at the back are in charge of starters and the front are on mains. 

“Fin is working on desserts right now. I think we’re trying to get the number of options down slightly.”

“Mmmmm.”

“MJ,” Lucy says, her eyes bright like she knows something Michelle doesn’t.

“Hi, Lucy.”

“Hi. Your hair looks so pretty, can you teach me how to do the erm half up part, please?”

“Well, Peter did it for me but I am sure he would show you how.”

“I will need my model,” he laughs, holding his arm out and forcing MJ to twirl underneath it. “I can show you tomorrow?” 

“Thanks, Peter!”

“You are such a sucker,” MJ whispers, her fingers against his chest. 

“I like it when they smile,” he groans. “Besides, I need practise for when we have children. Not everyone is as fidgety as you.”

“When we have children?” she asks, the hope blossoming through her chest. 

“Obviously. You think we are not destined to chase after some sticky children?” he says, a lopsided smile.

“I just did not know you had thought about it,” she says, chewing her lip to stop herself from smiling - or doing something insane like kissing him in the middle of the classroom. 

“I spend all my time thinking about you.”

Her lips are on his before she can think, his noise of surprise making her toes curl as he settles against her, his hands tight against her back. 

“Gross!”

MJ pulls back with red cheeks and Peter just laughs. 

“How are the desserts, Finley?” MJ says, clearing her throat as she turns to stand next to Peter instead of leaning on him.

“I got it down to six but I just do not know how to choose between jelly and chocolate cake,” he frowns. 

“And how many was the original list?” she asks, resting her head against Peter’s shoulder. He strokes his thumb over her knuckles and she barely holds back a sigh.

“Twelve!”

“Wow, that is good narrowing down. That can be the final list,” she says with a smile as Finley lights up.

“You are already my favourite and you are going to be the best Queen!”

He might just be saying that for the abundance of sweet treats she’s allowing at the wedding because she can barely say no to a small child with a smile but it makes her heart full anyway. 

“He is so right,” Peter whispers against her curls. “You will be the best. The most beautiful. The kindest.”

“Go away,” she murmurs, pulling his arm tighter around her waist. 

“Sorry, sweetheart. I am yours for life.”

[This scene was a smutty scene but I’ve taken a few bits out so they might not flow as well but I thought it would be weird to not have the last scene!]

 The week before the wedding is too busy. Far too busy considering they have outsourced most of the planning to the children of the kingdom, there are still far too many things to decide upon and arrange. 

So the night before she tries to settle her mind. Her father isn’t here to celebrate with her but she’s not entirely sure he would have turned up anyway. May’s dress is ready and hanging on the wardrobe. Her mother’s crown has been polished. The flowers are ready. The food is prepared. 

Jasper is missing and Ben won't be here but they've done their best to include them. Neither would have wanted them to worry about it.

So all she really needs to do is go to sleep and get dressed. And then she can start her life with Peter. 

The main issue now is that she doesn’t want him to leave. 

“It is unlucky for me to see you before the wedding, darling.”

“I do not wish to spend another night away from you,” she whispers, her lips brushing his as she speaks. 

“No?”

“No, you can stay here and then you can go before I put my dress on,” she says, her voice remaining low as she pulls him closer. He’s not exactly bursting to leave. He pulls her underneath him easily enough, his forearms bracketing her head as he touches his lips to hers. 

“My my… is my wife going to spend her life bossing me around?” he asks, a smile tugging at all the muscles on his face. 

“You love to listen to the orders from the Princess. It is how we got here in the first place,” she smiles back at him, her fingers trailing up his sides lightly if only to feel him shiver against her. He dips his head, tugging at the skin of her neck with his teeth. 

“So sorry, sweetheart,” he mutters against her, letting more of his body relax against her. “I only take orders from the Queen.”

The giggle bubbles up from her heart before she can stop it. 

“You are so annoying,” she laughs, threading her hands through his curls as he continues moving down her body. 

“You are in love with me anyway.”

“Peter,” she warns. Tomorrow she’ll be dressed and pruned by a group of women she adores and she could really do without them seeing the marks she loves to let Peter leave on her. 

“Tell me that you love me,” he says, peppering kisses across her ribs. 

“I love you.”

“Hmmm, pretty.” 

“Tomorrow then,” he says.

“Tomorrow,” she repeats, her fingers lazily in his hair as she smiles at the ceiling. Tomorrow, he’ll be able to do whatever he wants. Tomorrow, she’ll meet him at the altar. Tomorrow, they’ll be husband and wife. 

“I love you, Michelle,” he mutters.. “I cannot wait to be your husband.”

“I love you,” she says.

“I should hope so,” he replies with a laugh, then, “you are going to marry me tomorrow.”

She is. She truly is going to marry him tomorrow. The rest of their days and their nights will look somewhat like this. They’ll spend their time drafting fairer laws and expanding the lives of those in their kingdom. She’ll do what she needs to do to be fair and to be kind. And she’ll do it all with Peter.

She gasps, her back arching as she tightens her fingers in his hair. 

“I will be the one in white.”

[tommosgun]

Hi Shar! First of all I'd like to say I love your blog. Coming to your blog feels like coming home, I find so much comfort and familiarity in it. Second of all, I love love loved your chapter for the 30 day Smut challenge on AO3. The thrill, the chase, the amazingness of it all. And your AO3 profile picture to top it all off, gorgeous!🥺

Ahhhhh my lovely

Thank you so much! Boy did I need this drop of kindness 😘 the fam have had a shitty week with a sudden death of a young (37)relative and just lots of little hurdles for my little fam too. So thank you 😘 I honestly was going to bow out gracefully from the throwbacks and just loiter and post occasionally (might still do) but it’s lovely that you enjoy visiting 😘 I had to log into AO3 to see my icon because I couldn’t remember it 🤪 and yes, the (C)October challenge ficlet was so fun to write. The bit of jealousy H had watching Louis dance in his hot outfit with other men was fun, but only one man could have him 🤓 and it was lovely that they were domesticated with kids etc just gave them that little outlet to explore 🤗 Thanks love, hope you’re well xxx all the love xxx

[writer1]

A Pirates Mer

Chapter 1

Summary: Anakin is a mer living in a tiny cover, but what happens when a pirate ship arrives? What will he do with his second encounter with hand, the first leaving him with one arm?

A/N: this is a fic I've been thinking about doing for a while, I hope you like it!! ❤️

Warnings: mention of death, angst.

Anakin swims around his cove, he’s lived in this little cove ever since he was a youngling. He’s never left, even after his mother died. Anakin swims lazy circles around the reef, he searches it for some empty shells, or the pretty things that humans always seem to lose. His left arm is used to sift through sand and move rocks and grab things, while his bag is slung over the shoulder of his stump.

His right arm ends just below his elbow, he and his mother had been swimming in open ocean when Anakin’s arm had been caught in a fishing net. His mother had gotten him out just before he would have been hauled into the boat, but his arm was mangled and infected. It had to be amputated, at least that’s what his mother had told him, Anakin was only three at the time, so he doesn’t remember the experience well. Anakin hums as he finds a gold ring with a shiny red rock in it, he drops it into his bag, feeling sadness well up in him. He knows that his mother would have loved it.

His mother had loved collecting the little trinkets and things from humans, and lots of them would wash up in the little cove, getting stuck in the reef, or washing up on land. She even found a little box with a human figure in it, she had told him that when they are working, it could play beautiful music. But it was broken, even when dried out, it never uttered a peep.

Anakin had tried to fix it once, he even went up on land, but it was no use. There were too many missing parts, he still looks for more pieces to try to fix it though, even now. Anakin has never seen an actual human before, but his mother has, she even befriended one. But others found out about her and she had to swim as far away as possible.

He sighs, he misses his mother, she passed away about two years ago. She had been sick, and nothing Anakin could do would help her. He pushes the memory away, he would much rather think of happy memories of his mother, that's what she would have wanted.

Anakin swims down to the sandbed, his brilliant aqua colored tail shining in the sun, he lays down and spreads out, feeling the sun warm him. He’s in the mood for a sunny nap at the moment, he closes his eyes, letting the sounds of the ocean lull him to sleep.

xxx

Anakin’s eyes open slowly as he shivers, the sun is gone. He blinks in confusion, he wasn’t napping that long, was he? Anakin looks up to see a large dark shape above him. A ship. Anakin eyes widen considerably and his mouth gapes open.

This is the first time Anakin has seen a ship in his cove. Yes, he has seen many go by, but never have they come in. He swims up to it, there's a long rope with a metal thing attached to the end of it, it’s sitting at the bottom of the cove, Anakin doesn’t remember what it’s called. He hears a splash, and then there's two smaller boats in the water, heading to shore.

Anakin can hear laughter and cheers coming from it and he smiles, now that the humans are gone he can take a closer look at this ship! Anakin swims up, popping his head out of the water and looking up, the sails are unmarked, his mother told him what that usually means. Pirates.

He hums as he slowly swims around the ship, he loves it!. Anakin wishes that he could get on and see what it looks like up there, but that’s impossible.

“Hey!!!” Anakin is pulled out of his thoughts by yelling, he turns to see a blond haired man staring at him from the beach, along with about 9 others. “Do you need help!? Where did you come from!?” Anakin feels fear grip him as he dives down, the last thing he hears is a gasp from the human’s. They must have seen his tail.

xxx

Rex can’t believe his eyes, he just saw a mermaid. He turns to his brother’s and sister. “You guys saw that too, right?” They all nod, and Rex sighs. He’s heard the stories, he’s a pirate captain after all, but he never believed them until now.

“He l-looked s-s-scared.” Rex turns to Stutter, he’s the youngest out of his brother’s at 16. “Yeah, I saw it too, he looked afraid of us.” Fives agree’s and Rex nods, the look of terror in the mer’s face was sad. When they had first seen the man, they had thought he was a shipwrecked sailor or something, but the beautiful aqua tail had proved otherwise.

“We’ll keep an eye out for him, maybe apologize for scaring him. It seemed like he was only admiring our ship.” Everyone else nods, and Rex’s older brother, Cody, walks over, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Good thinking Rex, for now let’s do some relaxing, it’s been quite a while since we last stopped at land.” Rex nods, following Cody as he walks towards the ocean again, his other brother’s following. He hopes to see the mer again, Rex really does feel bad for scaring him.

xxx

Anakin lays in his little underwater cave, it’s been about a day since the human’s saw him, and he doesn’t know what to do. He's terrified that they’ll try to hurt him, but he’s also curious. They looked so interesting, Anakin’s pretty sure that they’re all related, since they looked quite alike. And maybe they could help fix the music box?

Anakin huffs, he feels so conflicted. He can’t decide on what to do, he knows that they could be dangerous, but his mother met a nice human once, they can’t all be bad, right? Anakin sits up, he’s decided that a quick look at the human’s won’t hurt. He won’t speak to them or let them see him, but he will get to see what they are like.

He swims out of his cave, bringing his bag since the pirates might have dropped something off of their ship, maybe. He immediately see’s the pirate ship above him, since his cave is close to it.

Anakin quickly swims up, as soon as his head is out of the water he hears laughing coming from the beach. He goes under and darts to a rock that’s close to the beach, he can feel the sandy bottom scraping his tail, but he does have a good view of the pirates from here.

Anakin peeks out from behind the rock, watching the pirates. They do sort of look alike, but they’re also different. One has blond hair, he’s the one who yelled at him, the one next to him has brown hair and a scar on the corner of his forehead, curling around his eye and forehead.

The third has a marking on the corner of his forehead, Anakin has no idea what it means. The one next to him has a blue handprint on his weird thing on his body, all of them have the weird things.

Another one has a bald head and a giant cog looking marking on his head while the one next to him has hair like the other three besides the blond, and has a little bit of a marking peeking out of the hair on the side of his head. Another one has a scar over one of his eyes, and he’s sitting next to one with a shaved head, just not as shaved as the blondes.

And the last two are younger, one is a teenager, he has what looks like splatters of color on his shirt. The other is a young girl, with dark skin and what looks like birthmarks on her cheeks and forehead.

Anakin continues watching them as they laugh and joke with eachother, until one of them, the one with the handprint, see’s him. “Hey, the mer’s back!” Everyone turns to see Anakin duck down behind the rock, he chirps quietly as he hears them discussing things together. He doesn’t leave, they don’t seem mean, or cruel.

“Hello?” Anakin hears the voice, peeking his head back up. All the pirates are looking at him, they’ve come closer, all knee deep in the water. “H-Hello.” Anakin stutter’s out timidly, peeking out a little more. Rex smiles kindly, trying to seem less scary, Anakin chirps a little nervously, making the pirates look at him questioningly. “I’m Rex and these are my brother’s and sister, we’re sorry for scaring you yesterday. We didn’t mean to.”

Anakin squints his eyes at Rex, then gestures to the other’s. “What are their names?” Rex smiles, then he starts gesturing to each of his brother’s. “This is my older brother Cody, the two right next to him are the twins, Fives and Echo.” Rex gestures to the one with the scar curling around his eye, then the one with the small marking on his forehead, and lastly the one with the hand print, Anakin hums as he watches.

Rex then moves towards more of his brothers once he’s sure that the mer understands. “These two are Jesse and our doctor, Kix.” Rex gestures to the one with the cog marking, and then too the one with the little bit of a marking sticking out. “The grumpy one with the scar over his eye is Wolffe, while the man beside him is Gregor. Then last is our youngest two, Stutter and Ahsoka.”

Everyone chuckles at what Rex says about Wolffe, Anakin finds all their names interesting, he chirps happily. He still stays against the rock, eying them nervously, he doesn’t trust them yet. “Hello, I’m Anakin.”

The one with the scar around his eye steps forward. "Well, it's very nice to meet you Anakin. As Rex told you, I'm Cody. We hope to get to know you while we're here." Anakin nods, then he swims out slowly from where he was hiding. All the pirates stare at his tail, they think that it's beautiful, but Rex is the most memorized by it.

“You won’t try to capture me, right?” Everyone’s eyes widen, and they shake their heads, “Of course not, I’m the Captain of my crew and brothers. I give you my word that no one is going to capture you, Anakin.” Anakin nods, believing every word Rex says. He likes this human, he likes all of these humans, but especially Rex. “Thank you.”

Rex smiles at Anakin. “We were just about to have lunch, would you like to eat with us?” Anakin smiles, nodding and following the crew up to the beach, he pulls himself up, sitting beside Rex. he notices that the Captain’s face changes color, Anakin never knew that humans could do that!

xxx

Rex watches as Anakin eats the fruits they brought, the merman had never had them before. Anakin has probably never had any human food before. He seems to be okay out of the water, as long as he drinks a lot of it while he’s out. The rest of Rex’s family had went back to the ship to get some rest from the heat of the sun, leaving Rex alone with Anakin. Rex smiles as Anakin nudges him, the Merman points to an apple core.

“Do you have more of that? I like it.” Rex chuckles, grabbing another apple from beside him and handing it over to Anakin. The Merman bites right into it, chirping with happiness, making Rex smile. Rex doesn't know why but he loves the sound of Anakin's chirps. Rex then decides to ask a question that had been bothering him and the crew, but they were to polite to ask. “What… what happened to your arm Anakin.” Anakin freezes as he looks up at Rex, he thinks for a minute before he whispers-- “Humans.” Rex freezes as he looks at Anakin sadly. “I… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, not your fault. You are a good human.” Anakin smiles comfortingly at Rex as he rubs his stub. Rex smiles back then glances down at Anakin’s tail. “Your tail is very beautiful Anakin, may I… may I feel it?”

Anakin freezes for a minute, he eyes Rex nervously and the pirate captain thinks that he may have overstepped a boundary when Anakin offers his tail out. “Just be gentle, please. The scales are kind of sensitive.” Rex nods seriously, then he gently takes Anakin’s tail in his lap and strokes it gently. It feels a little dry from being out of the water, but it doesn’t have the slimy, sticky mucus that most fish possess. The only thing about it that feels even remotely like a fish are the scales.

“Should it be this dry?” Anakin looks up at Rex, then he lays on his back and reaches out, feeling his tail. “No, it’s not supposed to be. I should get back in the water, and you should probably get out of the sun too.” Rex nods sadly, he likes talking to Anakin. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later?” Anakin gives Rex a smile, then a nod.

“I’ll come back up and visit tomorrow, same time?” Rex nods, and with that Anakin jumps back into the water, he gives Rex one last wave before he dives down. Rex stands up and get’s into the one boat left and he rows back to his ship, excited to see the merman again tomorrow.

xxx

Rex is in love. And he is in love with a kriffing mermaid. Rex and his crew have been docked near the little island for about a week now, and Anakin has visited them almost every day. Rex had denied it at first, telling himself that he only cared for the mer as a friend. It took Cody having a talk with him to make him realize that what he was feeling was love.

Rex doesn’t know what to do, Cody had told him that he should confess to Anakin, but Rex doesn’t want to ruin their friendship. All of his siblings know, and they’ve all been trying to give him advice. He sighs heavily into his hands as he lays on his bed, he has no idea what to do.

Rex turns over in his bed and tries to fall asleep, he hopes to come up with a solution in the morning.

xxx

Anakin swims around his little cave in thought, he’s trying to figure out what he should do. Today he had figured out that he had fallen for Rex, the human. Anakin wants to tell him, he really does. But he doesn’t want Rex to be disgusted with him. Anakin isn’t human, he can’t walk or play on land like Rex and his family can.

He fears that Rex may leave as soon as he finds out, he doesn’t want to lose his human. Anakin has come to love Rex’s family as his own as well, Cody, Gregor and Wolffe are like older brother’s. While Stutter and Ahsoka are like younger siblings to him. Although Jesse, Kix, Echo and Fives are kind of a mix of the two. But also the best friends Anakin could have. He doesn’t want any of them to leave, he doesn’t want to be alone again.

Anakin wishes that his mother was here, she would have given him some advice that would help, or she would have held him close and told him that everything would work itself out. He lies down in his bed and closes his eyes, at that moment he decides that he’s going to tell Rex how he feels, no matter the consequences.

xxx

Everyone is having some fun, they swim around in the water and take turns swimming with Anakin. It was a little game started by the younger two, Ahsoka and Stutter, but soon enough everyone wanted a turn, and Anakin was happy to oblige. At the moment he’s swimming Jesse around underwater, he keeps an eye out for a tap on his shoulder, that is the signal that Jesse needs air. As soon as Anakin feels it he swims up to the surface, allowing for Jesse to get some air.

“That never gets old!! You can swim so fast Anakin.” Jesse laughs as he swims away from Anakin, who whistles happily. “Thanks Jesse. But I think that I need a little break now, I’m getting kind of tired.” Jesse nods. “Of course, why don’t you go rest up on the beach with Rex? I’m sure that he would love the company.” Anakin nods with a smile, then swims off towards the beach. Rex is sitting with his feet a little in the water, he smiles when Anakin swims up.

“Hey Anakin, you here for a rest too?” Anakin nods, then pulls himself up onto the beach beside Rex. They sit in silence for a few minutes, enjoying eachother’s company. Then Anakin frowns, he wants to tell Rex now, this might be the only time he’ll have the nerve to. “Rex? Can I tell you something?” Rex glances at Anakin, face full of confusion. “Yeah, of course you can. What is it?”

Anakin frowns, he’s so scared that Rex will hate him. “Promise me that if I tell you, you won't hate me.” Rex gapes at Anakin. “Anakin!! I will never hate you, I promise.” Anakin sighs, swallowing thickly. “I…” Anakin sighs, he can’t stop the fear from stopping him from speaking. “Anakin? What is i-!!” Anakin quickly presses his lips against Rex’s in a soft, delicate kiss. Rex’s eyes widen, then drift softly closed as he sighs with content. After a few seconds Anakin pulls away, then he looks down and closes his eyes. He waits for Rex to yell, scream or push him away with disgust but it never happens.

What does happen is Rex softly places his hand under Anakin’s chin and lifts his face up gently to face him, the look of disgust that Anakin was expecting is replaced by Rex’s gaze filled with so much love and comfort. “I love you, Anakin. I love you more than anything.” Rex presses his lips to Anakin’s, making the mer’s heart skip a beat. They both pull away again when they hear yells and hoots from Rex’s brother’s and sister, Rex turns to see Fives yell- “Took you two long enough.”

Rex is about to jump up when Anakin throws himself into Rex’s arms, making the captain laugh. “I love you, Rex!!!” Anakin yells out, making Rex laugh and press a kiss to his forehead softly. “I love you too, Ani.”

xxx

Rex and Anakin lay on the beach, Anakin is on top of Rex, his head is cushioned on his human’s chest. It’s been two days since they had confessed their feelings for eachother, and everything has been going well until today. Rex frowns, Cody and Rex had both taken stock of supplies, and they were definitely getting way too low. Which means that they are going to have to leave the little cove soon to grab some supplies, and take on a few delivery jobs to make some money.

Rex knows that it would be too hard for Anakn to come with them, they would have to stop every day at least once for Anakin to jump in the water. And they would have to hide him from anyone that may hurt him. Rex and his family would gladly do all this for Anakin, but they run the risk of him drying out or getting found, and it may be too hard on the merman to be away from the place that he grew up, away from his mother’s treasures.

Rex knows that he’s going to have to tell Anakin, and now is as good a time as any. “Anakin?” Anakin looks up at Rex with a smile, he sits up and presses a kiss to Rex’s soft lips. “Yeah, Rex, is something wrong?” Anakin caresses Rex’s cheek, he doesn’t like seeing a frown on his human’s face. Rex sighs. “Anakin, My brother’s, sister and I… We have to leave.” Anakin’s eyes widen as tears fill them, breaking Rex’s heart in two.

“Why? Did I do something wrong? Is it because I’m not human?” Rex’s eyes widen as he pulls Anakin against him softly, but firmly. “No, I promise. That’s not it, I wouldn’t want you to change for the world, Ani. We’re running out of supplies and money, we just have to go buy some more and get a few jobs, then we’ll be back.” Anakin whines sadly as Rex softly kisses his tears away. “Can’t I come with you?” Rex sighs sadly as he gently pets Anakin’s tail. “I’m sorry Anakin, but it’s too risky. You could dry out, or someone could find out about you. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you, neither would my brother’s and sister.” Anakin nods tearfully, and Rex gently kisses his temple. “We won’t be gone for long, only two to three months. And we were running low already when we got here, so we will be here longer than a week when we return, okay.”

Anakin looks up at Rex. “When are you leaving?” Rex sighs. “Tomorrow.” Anakin hugs Rex close with his one arm, nuzzling into what he now knows is his shirt. “Promise me you’ll come back.” Rex presses his forehead against Anakin’s. “I promise, Cyare. Nothing will keep me away from you.” Rex gently kisses Anakin’s lips softly, running his hand through Anakin’s hair as he does. Neither of them want this night to end, knowing tomorrow they would be separated.

xxx

Anakin sits on the beach as he waves to the leaving ship, everyone is on board waving to him as well. Rex and his brothers and sister said that they’d be back in about three months at most, and Anakin hopes that they’re right. Anakin keeps waving until the ship disappears over the horizon, then he dives down to his cave below. He knows that Rex will return, he trusts his human to come back to him.

Anakin hugs the shirt that he’s wearing close to him, Rex had given him two of his shirts to wear while he was gone. One is the one Anakin is wearing and the other is being kept on shore. Anakin wants the other to continue smelling like his human, his Rex. who will return in only a few months time.

xxx

The pirate captain smirks as he watches the other ship leave, leaving the merman waving. His ship is hidden behind some rocks across the cove, he watches as the merman dives beneath the waves, him and his crew are going to make so much money when they capture the young mer.

Taglist: @ahsokatano-thetogruta @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @lightning-wolffe @barissoffee

[crashdevlin]

Centerfold 4- Memory’s Been Sold

Centerfold Masterlist

Author’s Note: Written for Meghan who requested some fluffy A/B/O smut and then I came up with an idea and ran with it. Smut will start after the plot is established. Also, this is gonna go toward my @spnabobingo​ squares. This chapter fills my Slutty Omega square and is rated E for Explicit.

Summary: Dean is living the normal-boring life with Lisa. When he opens the newest Playboy, he gets the shock of his life.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Beta!Lisa, Alpha!Dean x Reader (memory)

Word count: 2083

Story Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! , masturbation, pornography, mentions of multiple partners, mentions of fem-fem porn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean pulled his pickup into the gas station down the street from Lisa’s house...his house. He had a house. He had a home, a family, an 8-5 job on a construction crew. He had...a real life. A real boring life. He was bored, but he supposed it was normal to feel bored, right?

“Hey, Jerry. The coffee fresh?” Dean asked as he walked into the convenience store.

“Half hour old,” the clerk, Jerry, answered with a smile. “And, uh, it’s Tuesday!”

Dean chuckled as he grabbed a thick paper cup and poured dark, bitter liquid into it. “New mags came in, huh?”

“Yeah. The Penthouse center is hot as hell, man. Oh, and the Playmate of the Month is the hottest omega I’ve ever fuckin’ seen!”

Dean laughed as he fitted the top on the cup. “Well, bring ‘em out, man. You know I’m gonna buy ‘em.” He took a drink as he walked up to the counter. Jerry had a Penthouse and a Playboy on the counter already. “They’re that good, huh?”

“Dude...especially the omega Playmate, man. She is smoking hot.”

Dean set the coffee on the counter and picked up the Playboy, slipping it out of the sleeve and looking at the cover. The cover was a woman, Taffy Rose according to the tiny script on the bottom next to the photographer credit, in a strawberry-print bikini and bunny mask. Hot, but nothing special. Nothing different or new. But he flipped the magazine open to the center and gasped.

“Holy shit.” The bunny mask was gone, her body on full display except the bits of skin hidden by the pink feather boa. His throat went dry. His cock got hard in jeans. His head felt like it might explode.

“I know, right?!” Jerry exclaimed, happily. “Isn’t she the hottest thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Yeah. She’s the hottest thing I’ve ever…” Dean’s voice trailed off as he focused on her neck. No mark. He hoped they hadn’t photoshopped one out. She was the hottest thing he’d ever touched, tasted, the best thing he’d ever missed out on...Taffy Rose, Y/n Y/l/n...his omega. Dean cleared his throat and tried to close the magazine, but he couldn’t. She’d grown up so beautiful and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “She, uh...she been in anything I might’ve seen?”

“I don’t know, Dean. I’m Googling her name as soon as I get home. I suggest you do the same, man.”

“Yeah. Uh...I’m just gonna...I’m just gonna take the Playboy. I’ll get the Penthouse next time, Jer.” Dean threw a ten on the counter and walked out with the magazine, leaving his coffee behind and not even caring. He sat in his truck cab for a few minutes, staring at her photo. Y/n went into porn. Whoever would have thought that sweet little innocent young woman with the overprotective parents would- “Actually, no, that makes sense.”

He rubbed his hand over his erection as he looked at the ‘fuck me’ look in her eyes. It didn’t take long for his mind to drift back to her under him, holding him, letting out gasping cries as he fucked her, that look in her eyes as she dug her nails into his shoulders.

His cock softened as he remembered getting on the phone with her to tell her he was leaving.

He felt like he was going to cry when the line clicked. “Y/l/n Residence!”

“Y/n, it’s Dean.”

“Oh, hey! I just got finished washing every surface you touched,” she said, giggling. That giggle tugged at his heart. “I can’t wait to see you again, though. It was so worth the cleaning time.”

“Yeah, uh...it was awesome, baby, but...my, uh, my dad called.”

“Oh?” Dean could almost hear the heartbreak in her voice.

“Yeah. He...got word of a job in Connecticut. He’s pickin’ us up tomorrow.” There was silence on the line for a minute. “Y/n?”

“You’re leaving?” she squeaked.

“Yeah.” Dean had to fight the tears. “Yeah, we’re leaving.”

“But...what about...I...am I gonna get to see you again at all?”

“Not unless you can sneak out tonight. Dad’ll be here in the morning. We’ll be gone before noon.”

“Oh God.”

Dean took a deep breath and started the truck, driving home with a pit in his stomach. He immediately hid the magazine in his desk and sat in the rolling desk chair. He looked around to make sure Lisa and Ben were both out of the den area, hoping they were out of the house, before pulling up Google and searching for ‘Taffy Rose omega xxx’. Several thousand results popped up, so Dean went to the first. A video on Pornhub labeled ‘Sweet omega Taffy seduces her best friend Kat at a sleepover’. Dean swallowed and licked his lips, turning his volume down almost all the way and clicking on the video. She looked fairly innocent, without looking fake, which was a feat of its own considering he knew he was watching porn. The other actress wasn’t pulling it off anywhere near as well, especially the overacted reaction to ‘Taffy’ kissing her.

Dean could remember making out with her when she was just a little younger than the 18 year old she was pretending to be on his screen and it filled him with yearning to see her wrap her arms around this other woman’s neck and pull her in for a passionate kiss. He watched a little longer before hitting the back button and started searching through more and more results.

‘Omega Taffy Rose and her hot omega stepmom’ ‘Taffy Rose fucks her best friends’ ‘Sunny Sweets and Taffy Rose Turth or dare’ ‘Batgirl and Supergirl caught by Poison Ivy’

“Holy shit, she’s the hottest Supergirl,” Dean whispered, as he pulled his dick out of his jeans and started pumping it. It occurred to him, as he lazily jacked off and clicked through the ‘Taffy Rose’ tag on XNXX .com, that she was always with other women, usually other omegas. It took him forty minutes of clicking to find ‘Beta Brad Bull wants to know what omega tastes like’.

Not a single alpha in any of her videos, and not a mark on her neck, despite the fact that so many of her omega co-stars had marks that they had failed to cover no matter the makeup they used. And Brad and Taffy didn't go further than oral.

"That's weird," Dean whispered, tucking his dick back into his boxers but leaving the jeans open in a V. "Usually 'mega actresses are getting knotted every other scene."

He clicked off of the porn site and went back to Google, searching 'Taffy Rose alpha'. He found several blogs asking why a porn actress was unmated, some wondering how she could be in this business without fear of being taken by force, and some judging her for doing porn in the first place, but eventually he found an interview with her. He turned up the volume a bit and started it.

"Taffy, you have just burst on the scene and you've been staring in so many films this past year, it's crazy how popular you are all of a sudden!"

"Yeah, it is. I mean, I just started this as a fun way to make some money and now it's a full-on career!" Dean gasped at her voice. It was deeper than he remembered, seasoned with age, but that giggle at the end was exactly the same. That giggle made his heart hurt.

"Well, as long as you're having fun, right?"

"Exactly!"

"Now, I've noticed, and I'm not the only one, that you seem to favor lesbian scenes. Is that a personal preference, a reference to your actual sexuality, or-"

"Oh, no! I love guys. I live for cock, but…” Dean’s dick twitched at that. Why did her voice sound so musical...especially saying something so filthy? “I don't fuck alphas and there's a lot more work for an omega willing to fuck another omega than an omega willing to fuck a beta."

"Now, why don't you fuck alphas? It would seem a natural thing for you, right?"

She looked down, a bit of the bashful teen girl showing on her face. "Um...I just...it's dangerous, since I'm not mated...and it's special, ya know?” She bit her bottom lip and looked back up and Dean’s jaw dropped. “I may be a slut, but I can't fuck some random alpha and take his knot. I've never taken a knot and...probably never will."

"Fuck, I'd give anything to have you on my knot, Y/n," Dean whispered as the door opened and Lisa and Ben entered. Dean scrambled to exit out of the browser and cover the open jeans with his t-shirt. Reality crashed down on him. There was his family. There was his beta girlfriend and her son...his boy whether by blood or not. “H-hey, honey. How was work?”

“It was good. How was your day, Dean?” she asked, walking over to the desk in the den.

“It was-it was a day,” he answered, tilting his head to allow her to kiss his cheek.

“What’s this?” Lisa asked, pulling open the half-closed desk drawer. She gasped and slammed the drawer closed when she saw the magazine. “I cannot believe you!” she snapped.

“Come on, Lees, it’s just a Playboy,” Dean defended.

“‘Just a Playboy’? Dean, you’re living with a teen boy now! You can’t have this stuff! You can’t expose him to-”

Dean scoffed and stood, looking down into her eyes. “Lisa, I promise you that boy knows about porn and knows how to find the good stuff online. My Playboy is probably too tame for him.”

“How dare you? Ben would never-”

“Yeah? Check his browser history.” Dean rolled his eyes and stepped around her, walking out of the house and to the garage. He grabbed the cover and pulled it up just enough to open the door and climb into the front seat of the Impala. He took a minute to let a wave of nostalgia roll over him at the feel and smell of his baby before he settled back, legs kicked out and jeans shimmied down enough to pull his cock out.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his fingers around his base. He could see Y/n in his mind. He could hear her laugh. He could see her smile, the way her eyes lit up when he said her name. He started moving his hand up and down his length as he remembered the way Y/n looked at him the first time he sunk his dick into her.

He ran his thumb across the head and gasped as he remembered her digging her nails into his shoulder muscles, how innocent she sounded when she said ‘I think you can go faster’, the way she whimpered with every thrust, the way she wrapped her legs around his waist and babbled his name, the way she whispered ‘harder’ and thanked him when he grabbed her white wood headboard and started pounding into her like the alpha he was. He wanted nothing more than to knot her, but she couldn’t take it.

She could take it now. He wanted to fill her and knot her and make her scream. He wanted to hear her moan and giggle and gasp and-

His breath caught as cum shot out of his cock, splashing over his hand. He gasped in a breath before another stream of semen left him. “Fuck.” Dean fucked himself through his climax until there was absolutely nothing left for him to give and then he slumped into the leather.

He was suddenly filled with despair. He found her. His omega, the one that got away, the one woman his mind returned to in quiet moments. He found her, but she was in the San Fernando Valley in California and he was in Cicero...with Lisa and her boring, normal life. Lisa and her son that she coddled. Beta Lisa that sent him away when he went into rut, who would never be able to take a knot. He loved that Lisa took him in, nursed him back from the brink of breakdown, but the yearning he had pushed down since he was sixteen years old was now back with a burning vengeance.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[korra-the-red-lion]

Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 15: Back To Work.

(Ally)

Though the holiday weekend had been short, it was really lovely to have gone back home for those few precious days. I should try to make a little more effort to go home. I missed my parents and Wallaby, which mom caught me trying to sneak him into the back of the car. She wouldn’t let me take him after all the effort I put into getting him into a disguise. It was too bad. However, mom did pack me a ton of food in Tupperware that I could keep in my mini freezer.

After that conversation with grandma went so horribly, I stayed in my room for the rest of the night. Eventually mom came up to check on me, letting me know that it was okay for me to not return. Maybe dad meant nothing by his words, but my grandma most certainly did. I think mom felt bad that there wasn’t anything she could do to make the situation feel better, so her way of doing so was giving me a ton of food and offering to drive me back without dad. I took her up on that offer, but the evening of leaving I gave my concession that dad could come along if he wanted to. He had to work, though, so it ended up being mom and I alone.

She pulled into an empty parking space that was only a short walk away from my residence. Mom turned the engine off before she looked over at me with a look of pride. I blinked in mild surprise, unsure of where this was coming from. I cocked my head questioningly, which made her chuckle.

“I’m really proud of you,” she said sweetly, smiling at me. “Maybe you don’t see it, but I can see how much you’ve grown already. I know how hard it is to hear those words from your grandmother…and your dad, but the look in your eye was strong. It was hurt but I know you bounced back from it quickly. I’m not sure what you’ve been getting up to while you were here, but it must be something good because your confidence is brighter than I’ve ever seen it.”

Tears swam in my eyes as I reached over to hug her. I sniffled loudly, causing us both to laugh. When I pulled back, there were tears in mom’s eyes as well. She handed me a tissue and we both wiped at our eyes and blew our noses.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make it so emotional,” mom said wetly. “I just wanted to know that I love you regardless. I never cared about you seeing spirits, as long as you don’t get hurt.”

Hearing those words lit a fire in my chest. Mom never outwardly said anything about my knack, except that she was very overly cautious with me at times. Her saying this to me meant more than anything in the entire world.

“Thank you,” I said softly, wishing I could say more. My inner turmoil was too much for me to comprehend at the moment. I squeezed her hand tightly, hoping the action would help get across my intense feelings.

She smiled at me again, her eyes shining with love. “Call me about anything, okay, Alexandra?”

“I will,” I promised.

I got out of the car after that, taking my bag of food alongside my travel bag. I waved to mom as she pulled away, and she waved back, sending me air kisses as she did. I caught them and held to my chest.

Just before she left, however, she rolled her window down. I walked over in confusion to see what she wanted, and she smiled cheekily at me. “Make sure you tell that girl how you feel soon, okay?”

I blushed as I stammered out my objections, but mom was already driving away laughing. Was there no one on this planet who wouldn’t tease me about it? Shaking my head in enjoyment, I walked back to my residence with a goofy smile on my face.

Sarah wasted no time giving me a huge hug and telling me about her weekend. Apparently, her family went skiing for Thanksgiving weekend. I listened with rapt attention, never been skiing myself. It sounded dangerously like something I would never enjoy as Sarah explained how her younger brother nearly careened off the edge of the mountain. I mentally made a note to myself never to go skiing with Sarah, who was cackling as she told me about her brother’s near-death experience. Actually, I decided to never do anything with her that could involve me dying.

After that, she made me tell her about my weekend. I did with some reluctance, but as I got more into it, I found myself enjoying it. I left out the bad stuff, and I was in tears with laughter as I explained how I dressed up the dog to sneak him over. Sarah demanded to see pictures, which I showed her immediately. We both laughed so hard that we couldn’t breathe over the pictures of Wallaby wearing sunglasses and a fedora.

We headed to bed sometime later in the night. But before I attempted to get some sleep tonight, I checked my phone for any notifications. I had a few from Michael, Mags, and even dad. For whatever reason, there was an unsettling feeling in my stomach as I noticed there was nothing from Lyn. Was I getting too overprotective? I just couldn’t get that look of anxiety she had on her face out of my mind. Was it even any of my business? Sure, we were friends, and I most definitely had a thing for her, but did that I mean I could pry into her private life?

Unfortunately, there were no answers to these questions. I sent a good night text to her before putting my phone face down for the night. Hopefully I would see her tomorrow.

XXX

“…which is why Medea is such an interesting tale,” finished Professor Kinkly. I found myself being elbowed awake by Michael, who was wearing a look of amusement on his face. I didn’t even realize that I had dozed off.

“Someone’s sleepy,” he joked as he put his notebooks back in his bag.

“I shouldn’t have slept in so much this weekend,” I amended. “It threw off my whole schedule.”

Michael laughed with a shake of his head. We waved to the prof as we left the classroom, who barely gave as a glance as we did. I was glad this class was easy, because I was mostly over it at this point. The material, which should be interesting, was made incredibly droll by this man. I couldn’t wait until this course was over with.

We walked out the classroom. The air was biting today, as it cut through our jackets. I pulled my jacket as close as possible, while Michael snorted in disbelief.

“You’re cold, yet you refuse to wear pants,” he said solemnly. “I admire the dedication to your style.”

“I hate wearing them,” I said. “I don’t mind pajama pants, but regular ones? Yuck.”

We both laughed as walked into the library. I bought myself a tea while Michael got a coffee. We sat down at one of the tables, letting the drinks warm us.

“I’m going to speak with her tonight,” I said quietly, making sure no one overheard us.

Michael nodded slowly, his eyes taking in the surrounding crowd. “I figured.”

“Has she spoken to you since the other night?”

“Nah, nothing,” Michael looked thoughtful. “I don’t think she will again, if I’m being honest. I think she talked to me so you would go talk to her. Which, thinking about it now, is extremely concerning. Why are they so aware of you?”

I pursed my lips. “I’m not really sure. Jamieson didn’t know anything about me. Dahlia didn’t know me either, but she could tell right away that I could sense her. Maybe she told Amelia about me? Dahlia told me she could leave the area, but she had to return. I have a sneaking suspicion that she’s been around, spreading my name.”

“Huh, I don’t know anything about her, but do you think she would do something like that?”

“It’s possible,” I hummed. “She knows so much but refuses to tell me everything. I suspect that she might even know who is behind the string of murders.”

Michael’s jaw fell open in shock. “Are you for real? And she won’t tell you who did it? Jeez, what a huge jerk.” He rubbed his face anxiously.

“Yeah, it’s very frustrating,” I grumbled, crossing my arms. “It’s like she’s testing me, but I don’t actually know what the test is. Doesn’t she want me to find the person who killed her and the others?”

“I guess being dead for a long time creates a lot of boredom,” said Michael. He slumped against the table, staring at nothing. We stayed quiet for a bit longer, until he had to head to his next class. I bade him a goodbye as I pulled out my notes from the case.

It was frustrating having so many pieces, but I couldn’t see the full picture quite yet. Maybe once I spoke to Amelia Turner something else would click, but right now it felt like I only had the frame of this puzzle.

Plus, I hadn’t mentioned it yet, but this occurred to me the other night after our chat we needed to go back to the locker room. Or at least, I had to. I needed to talk to Fiona, like have an actual conversation with her. Maybe even try and break through to who I assumed to be her brother. I saw the humanity in those eyes last time. Perhaps if I went again, I could get to him. I need to broach the topic with Lyn and Michael first, because I was scared to go alone, but I would if I had to. It felt like if I was going to be missing something important if I didn’t.

Oh, and I needed to talk to Jackie, the woman who got attacked. Maybe she knew nothing, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I saw her around on campus, I just haven’t had the opportunity to speak with her yet. I groaned as I wrote that down as well. There was so much to do, and I had a really bad gut feeling that I was slowly running out of time.

Annoyed with myself mostly, I gathered all my things up and tossed them back into my backpack. I was leaving the café when I happened to notice a familiar strawberry blonde standing at the water fountain, filling her water bottle. I glanced at my phone to check the time, and I had enough time to go over for a quick chat before I needed to head to my Sociology class.

“Hey, Lyn!” I chirped.

Lyn looked over her shoulder, her eyes lighting up in recognition. “Hey,” she said softly, turning back to the fountain for a minute. After her water bottle was filled, she screwed the lid on tightly before turning around fully.

“How are you?” I asked tentatively.

Her eyes searched my face before she settled with a shrug. I could see how worn out she looked, with dark circles under her eyes. While I was getting used to seeing her looking emotionally exhausted, I wasn’t used to this style of dress. I would say Lyn dresses for comfort most days, but today she was wearing skinny jeans with no distress, a button up boyfriend shirt that actually had the buttons done up, and even her ponytail seemed tighter. It was her normal look but…more put together?

“…Did you want to talk about it…?”

Lyn’s lip quirked slightly before she shook her head. “Nope, not really. How was your weekend?” she asked as she started walking. I followed after her.

“It was good, except for my grandma giving me grief again,” I said mildly.

“Grief?” Lyn questioned, eyes flickering to me for a fraction of a second before looking forward again. “What for?”

“Oh, the usual reasons. That I’m some unnatural freak of nature because of my special ability. She used to spray me with water.”

“That’s fucking stupid,” Lyn muttered darkly.

“Yeah, kinda,” I shrugged. “Okay, I shared. Now you have to.”

Lyn snorted, shaking her head. “I never agreed to that. Besides, it’s nothing.”

“Ah, I see,” I nodded. “Nothing. So, the exhausted look and new look have nothing to do with your weekend home?”

Something akin to anger flashed across Lyn’s face before she mechanically put on a smile. “Maybe it does. Let’s just say that my weekend roughly went as well as I thought it would. At least Olivia and I managed to get through it without killing each other.”

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” I offered.

Lyn said nothing for a few minutes as she looked far off. We walked towards her class building and once we got there, she kicked her foot against the concrete. God, she wasn’t even wearing those tattered Converse of hers.

“I’m fine. I’m just tired and processing some things,” she said quietly, her voice tight with emotion. “Honestly, even if I wanted to talk about things, I don’t even know where to start. Let’s just drop it for now, please?”

I nodded and a look of great relief crossed over her face. “Thanks, Ally,” she said, sounding a little more like herself.

“Just take care of yourself, okay?” I asked, reaching for her hand. “For me, please?”

Our hands curled around each other loosely. Lyn looked down at our hands, her face not showing anything, but there was a war playing out in her eyes. Something that I finally began to understand about Lyn was this: she was normally happy, but she didn’t let the negative emotions show often, instead opting to mask her feelings behind fake smiles and a bubbly tone. But there was only so much one person could take before they finally exploded. This next part was assumption, but I suspected that Lyn was nearing her breaking point, that her façade was cracking under the immense pressure she puts on herself. Whatever happened at home was pushing her to the limits of how much pain she was willing to take. I think I only understood the surface of how bad her home life was.

Finally, she nodded. Her face was still devoid of emotion, but there was a little twinkle in her eye. “I’ll try my best, you know?” she said, finally looking at me properly.

I could lose myself in those electric blue eyes, full of so much life and emotion normally. While it broke my heart to see her like this, I had a feeling that pushing her wasn’t the best move. I recalled how tightly she grasped my hand at the hospital when Olivia started pushing, how angry she got.

“As long as you try,” I whispered, my heart thudding rapidly against my ribs. Whether from my infatuation or the intensity of her stare, I was unsure. My eyes flickered to her lips.

Lyn’s eyes never once left mine before she finally let go of my hand. “I have to get to class,” she said quietly. I could see her mentally putting up her wall again, the light in her eye getting dimmer.

“Me too,” I replied. She looked like she was going to reach up but stopped herself. She settled for awkwardly waving before heading inside. I stood there for a couple of minutes before turning on my heel, heading to my class.

XXX

The wind was harsh tonight. I was wearing a sweater underneath my coat, and it was barely helping. I even had the hat Lyn gave me on, but my ears felt the biting cold. I walked across campus, heading towards Harper.

The amount of parties had died down some. There was barely anyone on campus right now, most of them either in their rooms or the library. Honestly, that was good for me. The less people around the better.

Suddenly I felt an intense pressure coming over me. The wind had stopped but the cold was still there. I looked around in confusion before sighing.

“Dahlia, is that you?”

Said ghost appeared beside me, looking rather interested in what I was doing. I was surprised to see her this far away from the tree.

“It’s been some time since we last spoke, Ally. I was curious as to what you were up to,” said Dahlia, clasping her hands behind her back as she walked beside me.

“I’m going over to talk to Amelia Turner,” I explained.

“Ah, intriguing. I do wonder what you are going to learn from her that you don’t already know,” Dahlia mused.

I said nothing in return, instead focusing on my mission. She wasn’t necessarily wrong in her judgement, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. I walked up to the doors, not surprised that they were locked. I chewed my upper lip as I attempted to work on the lock with a broken hair pin. They always made this look so easy on TV!

When I heard it click open, I suppressed an excited squeal. Good thing I did, because Dahlia drifted through the open door, where it was obvious that she was the one who unlocked it from the inside. I gave her a thankful nod, which she responded with a smirk. Together, we headed in.

The lights didn’t turn on automatically here like they do at the Athletic Centre. I pulled out an old school flashlight and turned it on. I could have easily used my phone, but I wanted it to available if I needed to take photos or make a call for help. It wasn’t that late, so Michael or Lyn hopefully would still be up.

I headed for classroom 223, the one Michael told me about. There she was, sitting at one of the desks looking forlorn. I slowly walked down to where she was, tapping the desk to get her attention.

“Hey, can I sit with you?” I asked, indicating the desk next to her.

Amelia looked a little surprised, tilting her head to the side. “Why are you even asking? I can’t stop you, even if I wanted to.”

“It’s only polite,” I said with a shrug.

Looking skeptical, she nodded. I sat down next to her, while Dahlia made herself at home in the seat behind us. She had a familiar look of determination in her eye, but I couldn’t quite place where I knew it from. Brushing that aside for now, I focused on Amelia. She was eyeing with me with suspicion, which I thought was curious. She was the one who wanted to talk to me, wasn’t she?

“I’m Ally,” I started with. “You’ve been talking to my friend, Mike, quite a bit, haven’t you?” I was careful to not use his full name.

“Only twice,” she clarified.

“Only twice,” I confirmed with a nod. “I wanted to ask you some questions, if that’s okay with you. I’m trying to solve all these murders on campus, and I have a feeling that you’re one of the victims from this unfortunate tragedy.”

Tears welled up in Amelia’s eyes as she nodded. “I am. I was in this very room when he came and killed me. I should have known something up when he invited me to speak with him so often.”

I reached over to her desk, placing my hand next to hers. “Amelia don’t blame yourself for the actions of the person who killed you. They’re a sick individual who hurt so many others. How could you have known?”

“He always was nice to me, making me feel special,” she said in quiet horror.

I took out my notebook, so I could quickly jot down the use of the male pronoun. The killer was male. It was a small thing, but in a case with very few leads, it was a big help.

“Would you mind showing me how it happened, Amelia?” I asked gently. I didn’t want to push her to tell me what happened if she didn’t want to. But I wanted to see it for myself, to see if I could pick up on anything. Unfortunately for me, seeing the death meant experiencing it through the lens of those who died, just like with Jamieson in the bookstore. I was fully prepared for it this time, however.

Amelia wrapped her arms around herself protectively. “It’s very gruesome, Ally. I’m not sure you should see it.”

I smiled encouragingly at her, despite my own nervousness pounding through my veins. “I’ll be okay. I want to help, honestly. Nothing you do will actually hurt me, okay?”

Finally, Amelia nodded. She reached over, placing her hand on my forehead. Although I was prepared for it, it was still shocking. I felt her confusion change into fear, fear into absolute panic. I felt the impact of my head smashing into the desk, momentarily dazing me. I felt the terror grip at my heart and lungs as I tried to get away from my attacker. I sobbed in terror as the knife slashed my wrists wide open. I hit the floor, blood pooling all around me. No one ever heard my screams. He stood over my, watching as the life drained out of my body without a single drop of emotion on his face. He looked familiar to me, but I couldn’t quite place the face right now. He bent down, cupping my face with his face, filling me with dread one last time before I died.

“Thank you for keeping me alive, darling.”

Those sickening words were the last thing I heard as everything turned to black.

Amelia withdrew her hand, and I gasped loudly as I slumped against my desk for support. My whole body was shaking, and I felt sick to my stomach. I pressed my hands against my eyes, not caring how wet they were. I needed to focus on my breathing. My wrists throbbed in agony, as if they were responding to how viciously they were cut. What a horrible way to go.

“Are you okay? I told you it was awful,” said Amelia sorrowfully.

I nodded, even though I felt far from okay. I took several huge gulps of air, sitting up straight. I adjusted my glasses, trying to focus on the fact that I was alive and not currently lying on the floor of the back room.

“She’s a lot stronger than she looks,” said Dahlia from behind. “She just needs a minute to gather herself.”

“T-t-that was so horrible,” I said through chattering teeth. “I-I-I’m so sorry y-you went through th-that, Amelia.”

Amelia nodded, her eyes mournful. “Do you really think you’ll be able to stop him from killing again?”

I grabbed a hold of Lyn’s hat, drawing a small sense of comfort from it. “I-I’m trying my best to make s-s-sure that it doesn’t happen again. I can’t m-make that promise, but I’ll be damned if I d-d-don’t give it m-my best shot.”

Amelia looked at me with a strange mix of wonderment and disbelief. Slowly, she nodded, looking towards the whiteboard again. She said nothing more, staring at something that the rest of us couldn’t see. I got up from my seat and thanked her for showing me what she did. On shaky legs, I walked towards the back door that led to the room where she was murdered. The door wasn’t locked when I tested the handle, and I numbly walked into the room.

It was just a storage room. There was nothing special in here that would ever suggest that someone was brutally murdered in here just over 15 years ago. I took it all in, snapping some photos in the process. There was nothing left for me to see here, so I closed the door behind with a firm tug.

I managed to make it outside before I threw up in the bush. I hacked and coughed, trying to get the disgusting taste of bile out of my mouth. Dahlia watched this all with mild curiosity, saying nothing as she twirled her hair around her finger.

“If you have something to say, say it,” I spat out, rubbing the back of my hand against my mouth.

Dahlia stopped mid-twirl, raising an eyebrow. “Someone is feeling a little testy.”

I whirled on her, my temper flaring. “Maybe because you seemingly know who did all these horrible things but won’t fucking tell me who it is! That was such a horrible way to die, and for the fact of the matter, so was Jamieson’s! Yet here you are, not telling me a damn thing!”

Mild irritation crossed over her delicate features. “Ally, I already told there was a reason why I couldn’t tell you everything. If you continue to behave this way, I won’t help you anymore. If you must know, the man who took all these poor lives is still on campus,” she snapped at me. “But that’s all I can speak on. Otherwise, something terrible will happen to me.”

Something terrible? I felt myself calming down a little. The look she had was annoyed, but I could see a tiny amount of fear in her eyes. Maybe she was telling the truth, there was something that was keeping her from telling me everything.

“Okay,” I dropped my shoulders. I was tired and feeling vulnerable. I didn’t want to fight, so I let it go.

Dahlia took me in for a second before she huffed out, “Good.”

I don’t know what it was about her tonight, but she was really reminding me of someone I knew. It was a strange feeling. Deciding that was a puzzle for another day, I shook my head and ran my hands through my hair, hating how sticky it felt despite the biting cold of the night.

I said goodnight to Dahlia, before heading to my room for the night. My phone told me it was after 11, which meant I was there for a few hours. I guess time flies by when you’re being murdered.

At least I learned two things tonight. First, the murderer was a man. Second, he was still here on campus. That second one really filled me with dread and fear. I didn’t know the identity of the killer yet, but I was more determined than ever to figure it out. Not for my own safety, but the safety of everyone at this school.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 13

Ghosts of the Past & Relived Trauma: February 2018      

Word count: 4.2k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

CW/TW: This chapter will mention the Parkland shooting and Aurora will experience a pretty bad panic attack. This is based solely off how I experience panic attacks but I know that this doesn’t mean it’s what it’s like for everyone, a lot of Aurora’s mental health is based on my personal experience and while I have never lived through her trauma, this reaction to the Parkland news is quite personal to me so I wanted to include it. I hope no one thinks I'm trying to trivialise this very real tragedy for this story, I just find it to be a really important conversation and find Aurora to be a great way to have that conversation. That being said, please proceed with caution for this chapter as I would never want my writing to jeopardize anyone's mental health.

>Instagram posts

They avoided talking about the pub being up for sale once they arrived back home and late the following morning, just before lunch, they both went for a run in Battersea Park. Harry furrowed his brow in concern as Aurora continued increasing their pace until she was sprinting. Eventually she ran until she reached her limit, collapsing on the grass as she gasped for breath.

Harry stood beside her, bent over with his hands on his knees while he also tried to catch his breath.

“We talking about it?” Harry asked after both their breathing had levelled back out to normal.  

“Nope,” Rori replied, climbing back to her feet, and starting to jog back towards the river.

Harry sighed before catching up to her. “Don’t shut me out on this, love.”

“I’m not, H,” Rori promised, avoiding looking at her husband as they continued running side by side. “I just haven’t got all my thoughts sorted out enough to explain it to you.”

“Ok,” Harry agreed. “I won’t push you, but when you do straighten it out, promise you’ll fill me in, yeah?”

“Of course,” she replied.

xXx

It ended up taking her most of the rest of the day to straighten out her thoughts and while Harry was itching to help her, he respected her enough to leave her alone with her thoughts. He spent the afternoon in the studio; not really working on anything, but just filling time while he waited for Aurora to seek him out. It was getting late in the evening when Harry headed for the kitchen and threw together a quick dinner for them both. Aurora joined him at the dining table once the food was ready and it was only when they had nearly finished the meal that she finally spoke.

“I can’t let it go.”

“Like physically or emotionally?” Harry asked gently.

“Both,” Rori replied. “I know it’s probably really unhealthy or means that I haven’t processed the trauma of my mum dying or something like that, but I just can’t imagine someone else owning the place and changing things.”

“So, what do you want to do?” he questioned. “Greg and Helen didn’t sound like they’d budge on letting us pay off their bills.”

“I want to buy the pub,” Rori replied. “I know it’s a big decision and it’s a huge thing I’m asking of you, but I really want to do this.”

“Ok,” harry agreed.

“Just like that?” she asked. “You don’t have any questions or concerns?”

“I mean there’s plenty we need to talk about,” he said. “Not least of all that we don’t know the first thing about running a business and it’s not like we really have the time for it either. Plus, I have no idea how you’re going to convince Helen and Greg to sell to us when they didn’t want you throwing your money away on them.”

“Yeah, that’s more the reaction I was expecting from you.”

“None of that means I don’t think we should do it. I agree that the pub’s an important part of you and it’s where you and your mum started. I want to help you hold onto that.”

“Have I told you lately what an incredible husband you are?” Rori asked as she stood up from her seat and rounded the table, wrapping her arms around Harry and burying her face in his neck.

“Well my inner narcissist would appreciate hearing it more,” he chuckled. “I’d do anything to make you happy love,” he added in a more serious tone. “Hate seeing you so upset like that.

“Don’t know what I’d do with you, H,” she mumbled.

“Good thing you’re stuck with me then, innit?”

“Forever,” she replied with a chuckle at how sappy they were being.

“How about we call it a night?”

Aurora nodded in response, allowing Harry to take her hand and lead her towards their bedroom. After brushing their teeth and changing into their pajamas, they curled up in bed under the covers, Aurora’s head resting on Harry’s chest, while his hand ran along her spine soothingly. Having somewhat solved the issue of possibly losing the Golden Stag, Aurora was able to fall asleep peacefully, curled up against Harry and feeling calmer and more secure, unfortunately that feeling of security would not last through the following day.

xXx

It had been nearly 2 and a half years since the Columbia shooting and while Aurora found herself having far more good days then bad, she still suffered from the aftereffects of her survival. On colder days her left arm would ache, as would her shoulder, and she still found herself jumpy around loud noises. Fireworks were still a struggle, causing panic attacks more often than not and she would be plagued with nightmares for the month of September every year. All that being said, in her day to day life, Rori hardly thought about the shooting.

Given the difficult day and a half Aurora had had dealing with the news of the Golden Stag being put up for sale, and despite them never being the type of couple to celebrate Valentine’s Day, Harry decided to try to use the holiday to take her mind off it all and help lift her out of her depressive mood. After she had spent most of the day painting, he had them set up on the sofa with romcom and Chinese takeout for dinner, and Aurora seemed very content to be curled into her husband’s side with his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Halfway through the movie, her phone buzzed on the coffee table and Harry leant forward to grab it, passing it to her so she could check it. A text from Ella lit up the screen, causing her brows to furrow in confusion.

 ◊Ella: Just saw the news. Call me if you want to talk/scream/cry. Whatever you need.

 ◊Aurora: What news?

 ◊Ella: Oh Jesus.

A news link quickly followed the text and Aurora felt her heart stop once the article loaded.

 “Death Toll Reaches 17 and Could Rise in Florida School Shooting”.

Aurora felt her blood run cold, and a choked sob broke from her, pulling Harry’s attention away from the screen. He immediately became concerned as he watched her crumble in a matter of moments.

“Love, what happened?” he gasped.

Unable to speak through her growing panic, Rori simply turned her phone to show him the article on the screen. Harry reached out for her, placing his hand on her shoulder as he moved closer to her on the sofa. It was as if the contact of his hand shattered what was left of her crumbling hold on rationality and she flinched away from him, launching to her feet to pace across the carpet. Harry froze in place, never having had his wife flinch away from his touch and unsure what to do.

“I’m sorry,” she stuttered, still pacing around the room. “Sorry.”

“Don’t have to apologize,” Harry promised. “Just tell me what I can do.”

“Don’t…. Don’t know,” she gasped. It felt like all the oxygen had just been sucked out of the room and Rori was left gasping for it. Her entire body was a tremor and the edges of her vision began to fuzz, turning dark as they encroached.

Harry was on his feet the moment he saw her stumble, launching himself across the room to catch her as her knees buckled. By the time he carried her back to the sofa she was coming back around but he could still feel her shaking in his arms as he cradled her against him. After a while, he carried her to their bed and pulled the covers up over them as if to protect her from the world outside, holding her tightly as she cried and shook until finally falling asleep.

xXx

The next day was a complete write off for Aurora, who spent the entire day buried in the cocoon of her duvet. Harry stayed with her, occasionally leaving to make them tea or grab something from the kitchen for lunch. He found himself gnawing at his bottom lip with his teeth the longer his wife remained silent, but he refused to push her to talk when she was clearly not ready too. It wasn’t that she was actively avoiding him or the situation, but it was more that she felt completely paralysed, stuck in her memories, and letting her imagination run away from her as she pictured what the Parkland students were living through.

Tony called sometime in the mid-afternoon after his multiple texts had gone unanswered, and Harry moved to living room to answer the phone.

“Harry, is she ok?” Tony asked as soon as Harry answered the call.

“She will be,” Harry promised. “She’s kind of just shut down right now, but she’ll get through this.”

“Should I fly out to you?” Tony asked, clearly uncomfortable being so far away from his daughter in such a difficult time.

“No, no. I promise I’ll look after her Tony, but I just think the more people showing up to help is just going to make her feel guilty.”

“God you’re right,” Tony sighed. “She’d definitely feel like she was being too dramatic and ridiculous if Steve and I show up for her.”

“I should get back to her, but I’ll let you know if she needs anything, ok?”

“Of course,” Tony agreed. “I know I’ve said this plenty of times before, but I’m glad she has you Harry.”

xXx

It was dark outside before Rori finally pulled herself out of her waking nightmares and spoke for the first time since the previous evening. “I’m sorry Harry,” she murmured, her voice rough from lack of use all day.

“No,” Harry replied, softly, but leaving no room for debate.

“What do you mean, no?” Rori mumbled.

“No, you don’t get to apologize to me,” Harry explained.

“I just fell apart,” Aurora countered. “You shouldn’t have had deal with me going catatonic like that.”

“Yesterday was a lot,” Harry whispered, pulling her closer and kissing her temple. “Can’t even imagine what that was like for you and I’d never blame you for any way you chose to deal with it.”

“Harry I don’t know how to pull myself out of this,” Rori admitted. “I can’t seem to make my brain think of anything else and I feel like I’m losing it.”

“Baby…”

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry,” Rori sobbed. “I feel so broken and I just want to be better. but I don’t know how.”

“Don’t,” Harry begged. “Please don’t say that. It’s not your fault that you’re feeling this way. How can I help? Please tell me what I can do?”

“Distract me?” Aurora answered, somewhat uncertain of whether that would actually help. “Just get me out of my head for a bit.”

Harry, knowing that their friends had been messaging to offer their support all day, decided to invite Louis and Ella over to hang out and hopefully help take Rori’s mind off what was still playing out across every news site. They both immediately rushed over to the Battersea flat as soon as Harry called them, desperate to support the woman they both saw as a sister. Ella arrived with a casserole her mother had made, and the moment Louis entered the  flat he had his arms wrapped tightly around Aurora, burying his face into her hair as she clung to him just as tightly.

The distraction helped, with the four of them spending the evening playing board games, drinking, and trying to pretend like it was just a normal evening. Occasionally Aurora would withdraw into herself but for the most part she was able to focus on the game and the conversations flowing around her, keeping her mind occupied and away from the haunting memories. Even after Louis and Ella left for the evening, Aurora held onto the calm their distracting had brought her and manage to fall asleep not long after retiring to bed. Unfortunately, she woke, gasping for breath and dripping in sweat only a few hours later. Harry held her close while she cried and shook in the dark, rubbing at the stump of her left arm as it ached with the memory of a wound that had long since healed.

xXx

In the days that followed, Aurora slowly pieced herself back together. She facetimed with Sam to help her come up with coping strategies and talk through her fears, she went for long, exhausting runs around Battersea park, but most importantly she tried not to shut herself away from those who loved her. She and Harry spent plenty of time writing and recording together, and he would join her in her art studio while she painting, keeping her company as she worked. She also caught up with Ella for coffee and returned to Liam’s house in Surrey to continue working on the projects they had started before the news.

With a lot of effort, Aurora finally found herself coming to the other side of her PTSD episode and felt more and more like herself with every passing day. She was thankful to everyone around her and grateful that she was able to pull herself back together in time for the BRIT awards which took place a little over a week after the Parkland shooting.

Given the past week, everyone involved had given her the opportunity to pull out of the show, but she had insisted to everyone, including Liam, that this performance was something she wanted to do. She never wanted her mental health issues to stop her doing what she loved and while she never put her health at risk for a show, she also knew her own limits and believed that the pure joy she felt performing was exactly what she needed to get over the last of her latest episode.

xXx

On the morning of the BRIT awards, Rori met up with Liam at the BBC Radio studios where they went on the Breakfast Show with Grimmy. It was a fun morning, talking about recording with Liam and filming the music video two months earlier, as well as their excitement to be performing together later that evening. After the interview Harry met them in town for brunch, before they all made their way out to the O2 arena for rehearsals before the show. It was a wonderful evening and Aurora finally felt like herself again as she danced across the stage with Liam. She and Harry had a great night watching the other performances and catching up with industry friends they hadn’t seen in a while.

Following the BRIT awards, and with only a few weeks before she and Harry would leave London and return to tour, there was one last thing to take care of: the purchase of the Golden Stag. Knowing how her grandparents would react to her wanting to buy the place, Rori and Harry had placed an anonymous offer on the business. They had their agent include in their offer that they would like to extend the opportunity for Helen and Greg to stay on as managers of the pub, while the young couple would be very hands off owners once some initial changes were implemented to improve the current problems with the Stag not turning a profit. Aurora had sent all the relevant information to a business advisor that Tony had helped her find, and she already had a many ideas of ways to improve the Pubs bottom line. Once they submitted their offer, their business manager warned them that it was quite common for it to take days or even weeks to get a response from the property owner.

Aurora was feeling anxious about Helen and Greg choosing to sell to someone else and avoided visiting in the pub out of concern that they would try to talk to her about the offers they were receiving, not knowing that one of them was from her. In her effort to keep busy she spent more time than strictly necessary with Harry Lambert, the stylist putting together all of their looks for the tour and had him go over her own outfit choices again and again until he begged her to relax. She then turned to Louis, showing up at his house multiple times a week with the excuse of just wanting to hang out before leaving for tour in 2 weeks.

“So, are you finally going to tell me what’s got your anxiety through the roof or are we still pretending that you’re not using me as a distraction?” he asked one afternoon, sitting in his screened off back porch.

“Not sure what you’re talking about Lou,” Rori replied. “Just miss seeing your face.”

“Bullshit,” he laughed. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours.”

She sighed heavily, finally giving in and preparing to divulge all her stresses and worries. “Mostly it’s all this shit with the Stag,” she admitted. “We put in the offer almost a week ago and haven’t heard anything and I’m scared shitless that they’re going to sell the place to someone else.”

“I still don’t understand why you don’t just tell them that the offers is you and Harry.”

“Because Helen doesn’t want me throwing away my money on a business that hasn’t turned a profit in well over two years. She thinks if she lets me help them keep the place, then I’ll just be throwing away my money.”

“Did you tell her you have more money than you could ever hope to spend?”

“Of course, I did,” Rori groaned. “But in her head I’m still Louise’s daughter that lived in the flat upstairs because we were flat broke. I mean even without Harry’s money, just my inheritance from Stark Industries alone could buy the Stag a dozen times over.”

“Well from what Harry was saying the guy you have working for you on it all is one of the best in the business so I’m sure they’ll accept your offer.” He watched as she chewed at her bottom lip and nodded along with his reassurances. “What else is bothering you?”

“What? Nothing.”

“You said it’s mostly the pub that’s stressing you out. Means there’s something else.”

“It’s stupid.”

“Ok well tell me and then we can laugh about it and you can stop spiralling over it.”

“I think I’ve boxed myself into a corner by joining Harry on tour and my career is basically flatlined.”

“What are you talking about? You love touring with H.”

“I know, and I don’t regret it, but I just think I’ve fucked my own career in the process.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked gently.

“Did you know that in the last 2 months since Liam and I dropped For You I’ve appeared in the media 72 times and not once has my name appeared in a headline without the prefix of Harry Styles’ wife? I have no identity outside of my marriage and it’s doing my fucking head in.”

“Media’s always talked about you like that,” Louis replied with a frown. “They’ve always talked about you as either Harry’s girl or Tony and Steve’s daughter. I know it sucks but why’s it getting to you now all of a sudden?”

“Because it wasn’t every time before. Sure, it was most of the time but every few weeks I’d just be me without it having to be about them too, but since tour started I’ve only been Harry’s wife and I think it bugs me so much because they’re right. What have I done in the last year that wasn’t in support of Harry? The only thing I’ve done without him was the song with Liam, but all the media saw was me working with Harry’s ex-band mate. Just feels like I’m losing my identity in him and I don’t know how to fix that when I still love working with him.”

“Sounds like you need to start doing things without him,” Louis offered. “You haven’t been posting to YouTube much lately. Maybe start there? H has nothing to do with your videos.”

“You’re a fucking genius Louis Tomlinson,” Rori laughed. “That’s a brilliant idea.”

“I know,” Lou replied with a smug grin. “You’re so lucky to have me around.”

“Oh, shut up,” she joked. “Don’t ruin the moment.”

xXx

It was only a few days after her vent with Louis and a week before they were flying to Switzerland for the start of tour when they finally received word that their offer on the Golden Stag had been accepted, however Greg and Helen had requested a meeting to discuss the opportunity to continuing running the pub as management.

Aurora was incredibly nervous to attend the meeting and admit to hers and Harrys deception and hoped that they would understand why they had needed to be so sneaky about their plans.  She took a deep breath as she stepped inside the pub, the fire in the corner warming the space against the chilly February weather outside. Harry squeezed her hand supportively as Greg noticed their entrance.

“Rori! Harry! Good to see you both, it’s been too long.” he said with a wide smile. “Won’t be able to chat for long unfortunately. Helen and I’ve got a business meeting with the new owners.”

“We know,” Harry responded. “We’re the new owners.”

“You sneaky devils,” Helen gasped as she rounded the corner. “I told you not to throw your money away on this place.”

“And that’s why we had to be sneaky about it,” Rori replied. “I don’t see it as throwing our money away.”

“How about we all take a seat so we can talk this through?” Greg interjected, correctly sensing that Aurora was gearing up for a bit of a speech. They all moved to a booth in the back corner of the room and once everyone was seated, Rori continued.

“I know that you’ve been watching the pub lose money for years now and I can’t imagine the stress of trying to keep it all going, but I know that the Stag is worth fighting for and it’s my turn to step up. You’re my family, and this is my home. We’ve done our homework and we know what were getting into here. We’ve spoken with a business manager who helped us put together a plan and we have ideas to implement to help turn the place around without losing what makes it special. I knew you’d never let me help so I had to be sneaky, but I meant what we said in the offer; we want you to stay on and run everything. Harry and I aren’t here enough to have a hands on role, so we need people we trust to be in charge and there’s no one I trust more than you.”

Everyone was silent for a few minutes after Rori finished speaking. It was Helen who finally broke the silence. “Aurora, sweetheart,” she said softly as she reached across the table to take Rori’s hand in hers. “I know the Stag means the world to you and to see you willing to do all of this to keep the business going means the world to us. You know we always saw Louise as the daughter we never had, and I’ve always considered myself as your grandmother and that’s why I have to make sure that you’ve thought this all the way through. There’s no guarantee that the 4 of us will be able to turn things around and we might end up losing more money over the next few years. You and Harry are so young and you’re still just starting your lives together. What happens when you’re ready to have kids? I just worry about your futures.”

Before Rori could respond, Harry chuckled. “Helen not to sound like we’re bragging, but I don’t think you really understand how much money we’ve made over the years. The music industry is incredibly lucrative not to mention the trust fund Tony has set up for Aurora. Even if both our careers disappeared tomorrow we’ll be able to live comfortably and raise a family. You don’t need to worry about us.”

“I won’t lie, that makes me feel a lot better about all of this, Harry,” Helen replied. She paused for a moment, clearly still somewhat torn over her desire to protect her granddaughter, but also allowing her to make her own choices. “If you’re both certain and you say you’ve got a plan to save the pub,” she finally said, “then I’m in.”

“Really?” Aurora asked.

“Really,” Greg answered for his wife.

Aurora was out of her seat as soon as the word left his mouth, collecting them both into a tight hug as she tried not to cry.

“Love you both so much,” she whispered.

“We love you too, sweetheart,” Helen murmured back. “Always will.”

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[hogwarts-is-frozen]

Fanfic Update - I Wanna Know What Love Is

Summary: Elsa had long ago made peace with the fact she would never find love. The idea of allowing someone to be that intimate with her had been so frightening for so long that she written off the whole thing completely. That is, until a stranger from a distance land throws her entire world upside down. M for swearing and smut in later chapters. F/F and Kristanna

Word Count: 8,221

Rating: M

Chapter 2 - ‘Formalities’ is up and I hope you enjoy :)

"That. Was. Awesome!" Anna exclaimed punching a fist into the air. "Do you think I could get her to teach me how to do that? Whenever I ask Kristoff to teach me to fight he just laughs at me, and the guards are all too afraid you'd freeze them or sack them if they help me."

Elsa, wasn't listening to her sister, she could only look on in stunned silence as she watched the foreign woman snap at the guards before stomping past without even a backwards glace. For some reason the Queen couldn't tear her gaze away as the woman approached a very expensive looking carriage. This proved the woman came from some form of wealth, a little surprising considering what Elsa had just witnessed.

The woman wrenched open the door with such ferocity, Elsa feared she might pull it off the hinges. The driver didn't even have time to get down off his seat before the strange woman and her companion had jumped inside, slamming the door, and barking something at the driver Elsa couldn't distinguish.

And just like that, she was gone. It had all happened so fast Elsa didn't know what to think. She had never seen someone move with such confidence before, let alone a female. This woman had taken down two fully-grown men, and with surprising ease. Elsa had needed the help of her exceptionally powerful magic and (although she loathed to admit it) Prince Hans, to do the same.

Just who was this mystery woman?

xxx

Nia hissed in pain and swore as she did her best to tighten the laces of her corset, but the swelling in her hand was making it very difficult to curl her fingers properly. Conan whined anxiously from his place at in front of the hearth at the sound of her discomfort.

It had been a full day since her encounter with those two brutes back at the public house and the stinging in her right hand had only gotten worse. Despite this however, Nia was in fairly good spirits. She had found a reasonably nice inn just on the outskirts of Arendelle. A family owned establishment, run by a mountain of a man with his wife and three children. Nia could have afforded to stay at one of the finer inns, but this was closest one to the trails that lead into the wilds and the only one that allowed Conan to sleep in her room.

By the time she had finally gotten dressed and arranged her wild curls, Nia was practically jumping out of her skin to get to the mountains and begin her research. However, there were a few formalities she would have to deal with first.

Grabbing her peacoat for the early morning chill and her notebook, Nia made her way to the main hall of the inn.

"Yoo hoo!" called a man standing behind the counter, giving Nia a little wave of his giant hand. "You need some breakfast, ja?"

Nia smiled at the owner, who still wore a brightly coloured sweater and knitted hat despite it being rather warm inside, and waved back.

"Thank you, Oaken, but I really should get going. I have a lot to do today and –"

His wife suddenly appeared with a plate of honey rolls and bacon. "Nonsense, dear. Eat. You're much too thin as it is," she said, tossing a large strip of bacon down to Conan, who snapped it eagerly out of the air.

Nia laughed. "Helga, you sound like my mother," she said picking up one of the mouth-watering rolls, taking a generous bite out of one and stuffing two more into the hidden pockets of her jacket.

"Then an intelligent woman she must be," Helga replied with a wink. "So what is it that has you hurrying about like the Devil himself is clawing at your heels?" she asked, picking up a nearby glass and cleaning it with the apron she wore around her slim waist.

"I'm planning on traveling into the northern foothills tomorrow to see if the rumors I've heard regarding your herds of reindeer are true and I need to find myself a sure-footed horse to get me there," Nia said around a mouthful of bacon. "But before I do any of that, I need to get permission from your Queen."

Xxx

Elsa had to physically restrain from rolling her eyes at the two men bickering in front of her. She had been holding one of her bi-weekly Court sessions, and had been trapped attending to petitioners vying for her attention on one thing or another all morning. Currently, Elsa was listening to a simple dispute over wages between a farmer and his farmhand and they had been going on for almost an hour now. The farmhand claimed that he was not being sufficiently paid for the amount of work he was doing while the farmer argued they had long ago come to an agreement regarding payment. The farmer pointed out that the only reason the younger man wanted to be paid more was because he'd learned that one of his brothers had been earning more than he had, but the farmer could not afford an increase in wages.

Though the young Queen did her best to keep her attention focused on the petitioners, she couldn't help but let her mind wander the longer they went around and around in their argument. This day, she found her thoughts drifting back to the strange woman from the day before. Elsa couldn't say why, but the odd woman had been never been far from the Queen's mind since her return to the castle. Everything about her had been… curious. From the way she'd handled the two men who had assaulted her, to her accent, to the clothing she wore.

Who was she? Where had she come from? And most curious of all, what was her business in Arendelle?

So many questions and no answers, it was enough to make her head spin. Elsa had asked Kai if he knew of any visiting nobility, but he had assured her that none he knew of had docked in Arendelle recently. Only a few merchant vessels and one or two smaller ships.

The young Queen snapped to attention when she realized the two men had finally stopped talking and were now looking expectantly up at her. She hoped they had not noticed her brief mental lapse.

"I have heard enough," Elsa said, schooling her features into a mask of smooth neutrality, as her late father had taught her. She turned her attention to the farmer, "Do you have a written copy of your agreement regarding wages?"

The older man shook his head slowly. "No, Majesty. T'was a simple spoken agreement."

Elsa nodded. "Then there is no proof of what wages were agreed upon."

The young man grinned in triumph… but she was not finished.

"However, there are many young men looking for work and would be only too happy to accept the amount you are able to afford should this man decide he need the increase." She now turned to the farmhand who was no longer looking so victorious. "You must both come to an agreement over what is fair and have a written contract signed by the both of you as well as one other witness." When the younger man looked as though he were about to argue she held up her hand to silence him. "If you feel that you will not be able to come to a suitable agreement then come back and see me. We are always looking for more able-bodied men to help with the ice exports. Keep in mind that it is not easy work, but you would be well compensated."

In the end, the two men left looking appeased for now, if not overly thrilled about her decision.

She sighed and leaned back heavily on her throne, rubbing at her tired eyes while trying not to smudge her carefully applied eye makeup. After regaining her composure, she signaled Kai to retrieve the next (and hopefully last) petitioner. She had not at all expected what happened next.

"Ma'am! Ma'am, I am sorry, but I cannot allow that animal inside the castle! It will have to stay outside. Ma'am!" Came the sound of Kai's voice, followed by a set of purposeful footsteps.

"I have been waiting all bloody morning! And Conan stays with me. Always," another voice said firmly. "Oh, quit your fretting, man, he is better trained than most of the noble brats I've met."

"I beg your pardon! But –"

Kai wasn't able to finish his protest when the two – or rather three, including the canine – of them rounded the corner into the throne room.

Elsa stood, immediately recognizing the owner of the second voice as the woman from the market, although she looked a great deal different than she had the day previous. Today it seemed she had opted to wear something considered more appropriate to her gender. It was a very finely made violet dress hemmed in the same elaborate celtic knots that had been stitched into her earlier outfit. Around her hips sat a thin, silver chain that ran down the middle of her skirt that swayed slightly as she walked. And in the hollow of her slender throat sat a gold pendant that displayed two hands cradling a heart topped with a crown. It was then Elsa realized why this woman looked so familiar to her.

"Your, Majesty I -" Kai started but Elsa just shook her head before he could continue.

"It is alright, Kai," Elsa said, doing her best to reassure the manservant. "I'm sure her companion will be on his best behaviour. "Also, could you fetch Anna for me? I'm more than sure she has forgotten our appointment with the physician today. I'd check the stables first."

Kai hesitated for a few moments, eyeing Conan apprehensively. "Yes, Your Majesty," he said before nodding and striding towards the exit.

Nia took a moment to assess this mysterious Queen of Arendelle. She seemed so very different than the timid, anxious young woman Nia had met those many years ago. This woman carried herself in a way that displayed both her maturity and authority and yet there was still a fragility about her that piqued Nia's curiosity.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Nia said offering a small curtsey and tilt of her head, to which Elsa returned with a nod. "I do assure you that he does exactly as I tell him. Conan, down," she said to demonstrate, for as she gave the command the canine dropped down next to his mistress, looking up at her as if waiting for further instruction.

"Very impressive," Elsa said smiling her approval. "And I must say he really is quite remarkable. Do you mind me asking what kind he is, I've never seen any breed like him in Arendelle? I admit I don't know much about dogs. I was never very good with animals in any capacity really. I think they sensed my magic and so kept their distance."

"Animals are sensitive creatures, Majesty, they do not communicate through verbal speech like you and I, so they use body language and can easily read emotion. It is much more likely that they would sense fears or anxiety rather than magical abilities," Nia said with a reassuring smile. "I would be hard pressed to believe a wonderful gift such as yours would frighten an animal. And, to answer your question, Conan is an Irish wolfhound. A very common breed where I'm from, often used for hunting and to protect livestock. I raised him since he was a pup, runt of the litter if you can believe it."

The Queen blushed at Nia's compliment about her powers. "I must say I do find it rather difficult to imagine that there are bigger ones than him," Elsa chuckled.

Nia smiled. She decided she liked this Queen Elsa. She was easy to talk to and didn't seem prone to speaking down on those below her station, as so many royals often did. And Heavens, Nia had forgotten how lovely she was. She wore a magnificent soft blue gown that glittered in a way that Nia couldn't distinguish what fabric it was made from. No jewels hung about her neck or ears, she didn't need them, for her natural beauty far outshone any gems. The only decoration she sported was a delicate tiara, nestled neatly among her platinum blonde strands, which looked to be cut from glass and shaped like the top half of a snowflake.

But Nia was not there to gawk; she was there for a purpose.

"Forgive me, Majesty. I don't think I properly introduced myself. Or at least you probably don't remember when my father introduced us at your coronation."

Elsa grinned. "Countess Niamh of Castle Dunmore, if I recall correctly."

Nia blinked at the Queen in surprise. "You have quite the memory, Your Majesty."

The Queen shrugged. "I admit I didn't recognize you at first, but then I saw your necklace," she said gesturing to the chain handing around Nia's throat, "and I remembered asking you about it during our first meeting. The claddage, yes?"

"I'm impressed, Queen Elsa. You are correct on both accounts, or at least mostly correct. I simply go by 'LadyNiamh of Dunmore', now," she said. "I relinquished my claim to my father's lands some years ago."

Now it was Elsa's turn to be surprised. "Did you two have a falling out?"

Nia shook her head with a smile. "Hardly, Your Majesty, quite the opposite in fact. It was all done at my request when I became certain my brother was more than equal to the task. I knew the people would be more content with a male heir anyways. The Irish are much more… shall we say, 'traditional' compared to those here in Arendelle, plus it freed me to do what I truly loved."

Elsa felt herself hanging on to every word that fell from this stranger's lips. Drawn to her like an insect to a candle's flame. Nia was like something out of one of her stories – enigmatic and brash. She was so different from Elsa herself, who was so focused on duty and maintaining control at all times, which only served to make her all the more captivating.

"And what is it that you truly love?" Elsa asked, somewhat shyly, almost as if she hadn't meant to ask the question at all.

A contented smile painted Nia's expression and her gaze became unfocused. "To travel," she said, "and to learn all I can about the things that fascinate me most. Which, I suppose, brings me to the reason for my visit to your lovely kingdom."

But before Nia could explain herself further a loud gasp interrupted her.

"Ohmygosh! You! From the market!"

Thoroughly confused, Nia watched as a young woman with the reddest hair she had ever seen and so many freckles Nia could have sworn she was straight out of one of the storybooks her mother used to read her, skipped over to fidget excitedly beside the queen. Her appearance caused Conan to stand up and sniff her curiously - Nia couldn't help but notice the queen had gone very still at his sudden movement - and to Nia's amazement he stepped forward to push his head under the new girl's hand for a scratch.

"Well I'll be," Nia breathed.

"What?" The redheaded asked – who Nia now recognized as the Princess - happily falling to her knees and letting the canine give her sloppy kisses on the chin.

"He only behaves that way with me. And one other time…" Nia said, trailing off.

"When was the other time?" the Princess asked curiously.

"When my sister was… Forgive me, Your Grace, but you- you wouldn't happen to be… expecting, would you?"

Nia watched the surprise arc simultaneously through both women, confirming her suspicions. "I went to visit my sister and her husband when she became pregnant with her first child and it was like he turned into an entirely different dog. He followed her everywhere and was very protective. He even growled at my brother-in-law once," she said, chuckling at the memory.

The princess laughed, where as the queen still hadn't moved. "Such a clever boy, aren't you! Aren't you!" she cooed. "Oh Elsa would you relax, I can practically feel you worrying from here. He isn't going to eat me… although considering how big you are, you probably could. Right big guy?" the younger girl said winking in Nia's direction, forcing the woman to hold back a snort.

"That's not funny, Anna!" The queen scolded.

"It's a little funny. You just have no sense of humor," Anna teased, resulting in a small flush working its way up the Queen's neck.

Elsa tilted her chin up haughtily and folded her arms in a very undignified pout.

"You would never hurt me, would you, big guy? See, Elsa he's a big'ol softie," Anna said as Conan lay down in front of her and rolled on his back so that she could rub the soft underside of his belly. "You only attack big jerks in pubs who try and hurt your mama, don't you?"

Now it was Nia's turn to be surprised. "How - how do know about that?" she asked.

"Anna and I were in the market yesterday and happened to witness your… altercation," Elsa said, a little sheepishly. She still felt a little guilty for not allowing herself to intervene – despite the fact that Nia had been more than capable on her own.

Her shyness then turned into a small smirk. "I believe both my guards' prides are still smarting a little from your interaction."

Nia simply stood blinking at the two royals as the Queen's admission sunk in and she couldn't help the small flush of embarrassment that coloured her cheeks. Brawling with two men after an afternoon of drinking and cards was definitely not the kind of first impression she'd wanted to make. How was she going to gain the Queen's approval now?

She cleared her throat and bowed her head, trying to regain some semblance of composure. "I apologize, Your Majesty, Your Highness," Nia said. "That was… was unbecoming of me. I – I was…"

"It's alright, Lady Niamh." The Queen interrupted gently. "You were simply defending yourself. I only wish you had never been put in that situation in the first place, and I hope it had not tarnished your view of Arendelle's people."

The Irishwoman felt some of the tension in her shoulders ease. "Hardly, Your Majesty. It will take a little more than a couple of common thugs who can't handle losing to a woman at a simple game of cards to soil my opinion of your lovely kingdom." She smiled. "And please, call me Nia."

Elsa returned her smile while the Princess stood up and held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Nia!" Anna said brightly, before leaning in and lowering her voice. "But seriously, what you did to those guys was awesome! Could you teach me how to do that?"

Nia's laughter quickly turned into a hiss of pain as she took the Princess' hand. Conan jumped to his feet at the sound, eyeing her with concern.

"Oh my gosh! What is it? Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" Anna said.

"No, No," Nia said. "It's not your fault. It's just my hand, that's all."

The Princess made a pained expression before taking Nia's wrist before she could resist, and examined the appendage. It had turned a lovely assortment of colours and the knuckles had become so swollen that Nia could no longer make a fist. "Yikes. It's from punching that guy in the face, isn't it?"

"It's fine, really," Nia assured.

Elsa stepped forward a little hesitantly. "May I?" she asked.

Nia starred at the Queen's outstretched hand in confusion for a few moments before nodding in understanding.

As gently as she possibly could, Elsa took Irishwoman's hand and held it between her own.

The Queen's hands were soft and smooth – which made sense as everyone knew the monarch had worn gloves almost all her life – and it elicited a response in Nia that she had not been expecting. Gooseflesh raised all along her arms and her stomach did an impressive somersault at the contact.

For a few brief moments the two locked eyes and something passed between the two women that had Nia's mouth suddenly very dry.

She was pulled from her reverie however, when the young Queen suddenly looked away and a soft glow began to emit her palms. Nia watched in rapt fascination as a soothing cold wrapped around her hand and she couldn't stop the sigh of relief that slipped past her lips as the throbbing pain in her joints was reduced to a dull ache.

When the light died away and the warmth returned Nia examined her limb, holding it up to her face and curling each finger experimentally. The swelling had gone down considerably and the flesh felt cool to the touch, as if it had been bound in a healing balm.

"Wow," she breathed. "That's – you're incredible."

The Queen smiled bashfully and simply shrugged. "It's nothing."

"Nothing? It's amazing!"

Elsa merely tucked a loose strand of platinum blonde hair behind her ear, clearly becoming increasingly self-conscious under Nia's awed gaze.

The foreign girl didn't even realize she was staring until the Princess cleared her throat loudly, causing both women to look away from each other and shift awkwardly as Anna watched with a sly grin.

Elsa was the first to regain her composure as she stood more upright and folded her hands in front of her lap. "I apologize, Lady Nia. I'm sure you had actual reason for your visit today?"

"Yes, Queen Elsa. I would like to request your permission to travel the nearby foothills," Nia said.

"Oh?" Elsa asked lifting an eyebrow. "And what is it you will be doing?"

"I am hoping to observe one of your unique reindeer herds in their natural habitat," Nia explained. "Also, if you know of anyone who might be able to help me locate… whyyy are you looking at each other like that?" Nia asked as the Queen and the Princess turned to each other with knowing smiles.

"You are more than welcome to explore the surrounding Arendellian wilds to further your research. And in regards to whom I could offer as a guide, I think I know just the man for the job."

[ourneverendingpossibilities]

I’m Sorry (8/?)

Anime: Kuroko no Basuke Pairing: Aomine Daiki x reader Rating: T (For course language) A/N: Oh... My... God... Guys... I’ve finally done it! After almost two years hiatus with this story... I’ve finally found motivation to complete it! There will be one or two more chapters after this. But I just... I have no words!! I apologize for it being short.. But I’m really hoping this makes up for it! And I hope you guys will continue to be patient with me as I work on commissions and other ideas I have in mind!

xxx

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, and you were finally glad to have a bit of a break. Between dealing with Haizaki, helping Kise with Perfect Copy, and trying to understand how Aomine had ANY connection to your father, you were worn out. The idea of going to the hot springs with Touou seemed like a very good idea, but you chose to stay back, needing to come to terms with your current situation. You were still in love with Aomine Daiki. Somehow, despite it seeming like an impossibility, being able to fully admit to having those feelings made things less... stressful. Like you'd been in denial for so long, and you had to accept things would never change. You wanted Aomine to lose, because you wanted to see if he would smile again.. He always enjoyed himself when he played basketball, up until their coaches changed. The mindset of the entire team had taken a hit. Now that everyone has been separated, and their powers have been utilized in other schools, it seems to have eased the tension between the Miracles. Some of them were still strained, mainly with Akashi, but for the most part, everyone got along well. Everyone except Aomine. The conversation you had with Kise a few weeks back resonated through your memory, and you couldn't help but smile softly. xx Kise stares at you, confusion and curiosity mixed as he hesitantly takes the paper from your fingers. He almost forgets his senpais are around, but he can't find the words to ask them to leave. When he opens the letter, he skims the contents, eyebrows furrowing in deep thought. "I don't understand ____cchi..." he mutters, placing it on the table in mild disgust. "If you were supposed to come to Kaijou, why did you follow Aominecchi instead?" Rubbing your arm lightly, you let out a sigh, trying to calm your nerves, "Ryouta... I couldn't abandon Daiki... Everyone else around us had... But I swore I'd never do it... I couldn't... In the end, he means more to me than everyone else." He leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair as he absorbs your words.. To think, he could've had you at Kaijou... To be even closer to you than he is now.. Kise is conflicted. "Is it out of pity?" You almost jump, hearing the whisper, but your resolve hardens immediately, eyes narrowing in anger and anguish. "OF COURSE NOT! YOU, of ALL people, should know that Ryouta! I'd never be friends with you guys for the sake of your titles! I never ONCE gave a shit about 'Generation of Miracles'.." your voice lowers, lips slightly trembling as you direct your gaze to the ground, waiting to be swallowed whole. "If anything, I was jealous." Those words made Kise's head snap up, eyes wide and immediately filled with confusion and hurt. "Jealous?? Why would ____cchi be jealous of us?" You couldn't meet his gaze, feeling ashamed and embarrassed for ever admitting such a dirty secret. "Why WOULDN'T I be jealous of you guys?!" your head lifted then, revealing everything to the boys around you, "You get to play the ONE sport I love with everything I have! The one thing I was exceptional at! But you guys overshadowed me, overshadowed the girls' basketball team.. And we lost the funding for it. Teiko only wanted to invest in the BOYS' team... because you six were better than me... better than our team..." You growl lightly, wiping away the stupid tears falling down your cheeks, further aggravating you.. How can you be so weak? "The closest thing I could do after that was be on the team as the 'manager'... And even though I helped Satsuki with scouting and training regimes, it didn't change the animosity I felt towards you guys... For taking the one thing I had away... Girls were jealous that I was close with you guys... But I didn't always feel that way... Some days, I felt like an outcast.. If I didn't have Satsuki and Tetsu, I would've quit the team sooner..." Kise blinked, stunned and almost breathless at your words... "Y...You almost quit.... being our manager?? But... why? What did Kurokocchi do to keep you around?" You smiled sadly, wanting this moment to be over and done with. "He told me that everyone is useful on the court, regardless of the position... He was the only one... Out of the six of you, to notice the way I felt.. How upset I was for no longer being able to play.. But the funniest thing about that... is Daiki was the one who gave him the advice in the first place..." You feel a chair being pressed against your legs, and you look at Kobori, giving him a soft smile as you sit down, gently rubbing your legs. Standing did make you tired, and this whole night had been a whirlwind of emotions.. Lately, you'd been experiencing it, and you just wanted to sleep for the next week... "Anyway, it seems Daiki has been doing more than just giving advice... Considering he somehow knows my dad.. and I wish I knew how they met.." Kise sighs, moving forward to rest a hand on top of your head, gently caressing your hair. "You know ____cchi... you could always ask him.. I don't think Aominecchi would keep that from you... If he went all the way to your house to drop off that letter in the first place." You shake your head, biting your bottom lip anxiously, "I want to... But I don't want to bother him with anything anymore... I don't want him to be burdened by me..." A light tap on the head startled you, and you whimpered slightly, turning your gaze to the hot-headed captain. "It sounds like you're running away ____..." he frowns, causing your eyes to widen slightly, "You have the right to know... And you should ask Aomine what connection he has with your father. It means a lot to you... And I bet... He's waiting for you to ask.. Why else would he give you that letter?" Kise smiles, watching the interaction between you and his captain. If anyone is able to convince you, it's him. Because he knows you'd never talk back to your senpais. Standing up, he lets out a sigh, catching your attention, "___cchi, go talk to Aominecchi... It's the only way you can fix everything. You deserve to know the truth." All you could do in a room full of boys was nod.. Because the reality is, you need to know. xx

There you sat, in your backyard, on a swing couch your mother had bought while on vacation. The cushions were comfortable, and you were feeling very tired from having to deal with a lot. However, as much as sleep sounds like the best thing to do, you made yourself stay awake, because the visitor you were expecting was to arrive soon. The sound of footsteps echoed across the cement, and you halted your movements, feet digging into the grass as a way to balance yourself. You could feel his warmth before he reached your place, a tall shadow shading you from the sun. You weren't sure what face you were making, but you turned your attention to meet his deep blue eyes. "Thanks for coming... Daiki..." His eyebrows furrowed, a hand buried in his pocket. He was a bit surprised you'd called him, unsure if he had ruined things. But when he heard the tone in your voice, he knew you had questions.. And it was his turn to come clean. "Took you long enough..." he muttered, moving to sit in the spot beside you. At first he kept his eyes on the fence, the frown growing deeper as time passed. When he had enough of the silence, he turns his gaze towards you, almost startled at the soft look in your beautiful hues.. "I'm sorry..." you whisper, a bit sheepish, "I was unsure how you'd respond... Now that you're here... I don't know what to ask..." He sighs softly, leaning back in his spot as the couch lightly sways in the breeze. "You could start from the beginning..." You bite your lip, fingers curled in your lap as you look at him, almost desperate, "H...How did you know my dad?" He turns his full attention to you, debating whether to grab your hand or just lay them in his lap. He lets them lay in his lap instead, gathering the courage to admit to everything. "We met on the day he died." xx "Y... You're.... Aomine-kun...?" The raspy voice caught Aomine's attention, his eyes widening at the scene. There, with a stab wound bigger he'd seen, was a middle-aged man, struggling to walk. Without thinking, he ran to him, stripping off his jacket and wrapping him in it, trying to urge him to sit down. "It... It's not safe for you to be walking around! Please wait here, I'll go grab ___!" "No! Don't!" The scream startled him, freezing him in place as he stared down at the man. Taking in his appearance, he recognized his eyes from a photo you showed him on one of your dates... His blood ran cold... ".... You're _____'s dad..." A weak smile curls on his lips, as he tries to nod, but only coughs up phlegm and a bit of blood... His time was running out, he had to get this to the boy quickly.. "A....Aomine-kun... P...Please... t...take this..." He's stunned to see three letters... One written for him, one addressed to your mother... and the last was addressed to you.. "D..Don't read it until you're alone... J...Just please... t....take good care.... of..... ____...." By the time the ambulance arrived, it was too late.. And despite doing everything he could for him, your father died.. leaving behind three letters. xx "I stayed with him until the doctor told me to go home... At that point, I had no idea what to do... I couldn't find it in myself to tell you... But I remember seeing Haizaki in the distance..." That sickening grin, the way he licked his finger as though he'd gotten revenge... Anger began to boil in his blood, and he wanted nothing more than to find him and beat him dead. "Dai-chan...." Your voice brings him back, and he turns his head towards you, startled at the feel of your fingers on his cheeks, wiping away a few tears that escaped their confines.. He's left stunned, breathless at the look in your eyes... There was no trace of anger, only a deep understanding and sadness... It broke his heart. Without thinking, he pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair as he held you close.. His mind and heart were racing, and everything he wanted to say was jumbled, incoherent.. He was a mess and the only thing soothing him was knowing you were right here... Against his chest... "I'm sorry.... ____... I wanted to tell you sooner... I just... I couldn't figure out how... I felt so ashamed... I couldn't save him.. I couldn't do anything but let Haizaki get away.." Your body is trembling, but not just from your own emotions. It was from this broken man in front of you... Who had been there the day your father died.. Who was able to meet him... before his untimely demise.. All you could do was hold him, adjusting your position so you were in his lap, burying your face in his shoulder. "D....Dai-chan...." you whisper, moving a hand to cup his cheek, wiping the few tears shedding from his beautiful blue hues. "It's okay...." you smile gently. Seeing him broken, raw and full of emotions has you caught up in a hurricane of emotions. It's hard to hold on, but seeing him shedding tears, being open and completely vulnerable with you, it has you falling in love with him all over again. "Listen, we will make him pay..." you mumble, keeping his attention focused completely on you. "It's not your fault... With everything that happened..." you stop, trying to collect your thoughts. "It hurts... But I'm happy you told me... Because I can fully heal and move on.." You find all strength has left your body, and you slump against him, burying your face in his neck. You allow yourself to be vulnerable with him, to be open and sob into his warmth embrace. You can't push him away, and his warmth seems to be the only thing keeping you together. You should be telling yourself this is wrong; that you need to let go of him because you're not with him anymore. But your heart... It tells you to keep him in your grasp, to hold him tightly until your fingers bruise. He is your safe haven, the one place you can be yourself. "_____... I'm so sorry..." he whispers, a hand gently massaging the back of your head. Without thinking, he presses a soft kiss to your temple, eyes closing as he contemplates his next words.. "_____.... I..." A soft snore reaches his ears, and he suddenly stops. Turning his head, he looks down, seeing your peaceful expression, as you sleep in his arms. He feels his eyes soften considerably, unsure how to proceed.. He thinks this is a sign to leave things as they are for now, because he doesn't want to screw up twice.. So he carefully adjusts himself, so he's laying on his side, you tucked between the rest and his arms. He figures this is the time to leave, to let you rest, but he feels a hand tug on his waist, causing him to halt. "D....Don't go... Dai-chan..." His heart melts at the soft plea, and he feels the light breeze pick up. Adjusting his position to shield you, he leans down once more, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger longer than necessary. And just like all those times in middle school, he lets himself drift to sleep, making sure he has you in his arms, never letting go.

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – A Human Crewmate - Chapter 19

Chapter 19 – At Last

A/N – OMG! OMG! OMG! THIS FIC IS 101 A4 AGES LONG, THAT IS THE SIZE OF A SMALL BOOK. Based on a lot of head-canons from @rocksinmuffin and @straightouttacybertron so extra special thanks to them for that.

Warnings – NSFW-ish, like there’s nothing major, just mentions the previous chapter’s sex.

Rating – T

Swerve stood outside the hab-suite for a long time, mentally preparing himself to not only reunite with you, but also to move in with you once more, as a couple this time. He tried to force his pedes to move, but they remained stubbornly cemented to the floor.

He couldn’t help thinking about how the last few cycles felt like a hyper-realistic dream instead of reality. The two of you had spent a drunken night together, though Swerve regrettably couldn’t remember it. He’d run away from home, which sounded terribly juvenile when put like that. You’d come to his rescue, saving him from himself. It was only within the last hour that Swerve had gotten out of the med-bay, though he would rather forget that part, considering the telling off he’d got from Ratchet, and now, after what felt like an eternity of laborious repairs, Swerve was about to have all his dreams fulfilled; he would finally have a real relationship with you, in place of the one he’d built up in his imagination.

In all honesty, Swerve still couldn’t believe it and that was exactly the problem stopping him from opening the door, taking you in his arms, and never letting go. Although he would never be able to forget the words you said to him, those enchanting words ‘It’s all I want right now,’ it was still hard to believe you were referring to a relationship with him.

The problem was, it would have been all too easy for those ever sweet, yet terrifying words to have all been a lie to save his life. If that was the case, Swerve wouldn’t blame you, you were a good person, and what good person wouldn’t say exactly what someone suicidal needed to hear to save them from themselves? If the positions had been reversed, Swerve would have said exactly the same things to save a sorry aft like him.

He pressed a servo to the door, as if touching it would make going in any easier. For all he knew, Rung was in there, waiting to hold an intervention at your request and what would Swerve do then? Try and laugh it off probably, then he’d pretend everything was A-Okay, though he wouldn’t be able to be your roommate anymore, and life had already proven that he was clearly unstable without you. Primus, he dreaded the currently imaginary meeting with Rung, despite knowing you would never call for such a thing if you thought he was going to be alright.

Swerve tried once again to bring himself back into the present and enter the room, but as it turned out, his paranoid thoughts were not done with him. It wasn’t so much that he thought you couldn’t be with a mech, it was that he didn’t believe you could want him of all mechs. If anyone, you ought to be with someone cool like Blurr, or somebody respectable like Rung, or even somebody rich like Cyclonus; those were mechs who could offer you the galaxy. What did Swerve have to offer? A mediocre bar and a bit of Earth knowledge; scrap, he was a joke.

Shivering, Swerve opened his communicator, replaying a voice-mail that he’d got from you while in the med-bay.

‘Hey Swerve, how’re you doing? Ratchet told me that they’re going to be operating on you today and let me tell you… you better come home soon… I miss the best bot on the ship.‘ You chuckled, and it sounded as though you were doing so to dispel your own concerns. If Swerve had to breathe, his breath would have caught in his throat right then, knowing that you were worried for him; it was more than he ever could have asked for. You sighed and Swerve could almost see your face, trying not to cry on his behalf, ‘Look, I mean it when I say come home safe and sound, I’ll be waiting for you.’

The message alluded to so much, yet it left much more unsaid. To anyone else, it would have been a message of the purest love, but to Swerve it could have just been a worried friend. All the same, his spark pulsed rapidly whenever he heard you say that you were waiting for him. He’d replayed that message repeatedly while he was in med-bay; he could have recreated it perfectly from memory alone if he wasn’t so lucky to have it stored in his personal files.

He smiled bittersweetly, yes, whether as a friend or something more, you were waiting for him. Apprehensively, he opened the door, ready to discuss all the things the two of you had put on hold until this moment.

The second Swerve entered the room, coolant sprung to his optics and for once, he was speechless. A giant sparkling banner hung up with the traditional ‘Welcome Home’ painted on it, surrounded by hearts and stars. As if the banner wasn’t enough, you were asleep on his berth in your day clothes, hugging to a photograph of him and you together as if your life depended on it. It was clear that you’d waited up as long as you could before exhaustion took over. Swerve examined you with devoted optics, crying with happiness as he noticed that you were covered in more glitter than the banner was. Between the banner, you on his berth and the photo in your arms, Swerve knew everything was real, he loved you, and you were at least willing to give a relationship a chance with him; it was an opportunity he would not waste, he would cherish you every click of every cycle.

He took a picture of you, storing it in his memory files before thinking about what he should do next. Part of him wanted to wake you up, but the other part wanted this moment to last forever. Carefully, Swerve held his servo over your shoulder, preparing to rouse you gently awake. He hesitated, spotting an angry red burn mark on your arm. He bit his lip, guilt worming its way into his spark, unwelcomed but unavoidable. He’d seen that injury when you came to him, you’d burnt your arm when climbing through the vents to get to him; it was his fault that you’d been hurt both physically and emotionally. Swerve pulled his servo away from you, the burn serving as a tiny reminder of what would happen when you eventually did wake up. Sure, you would initially be happy to see him, but then the hard-hitting questions would come, and Swerve wasn’t prepared to answer them.

He desperately wanted to talk to you, but he knew you wouldn’t share his view that he’d spent enough time wallowing in sadness and that it was time to be happy; you deserved answers to the questions you were bound to have, but Swerve hoped to avoid them, at least for a little while. Gently, he brushed a finger against your hair, remembering the first time you’d allowed him to do so; it all felt so long ago now. You stirred slightly at the touch, mumbling in your sleep before rolling over with a yawn and settling back into your dreams.

Thinking of all the things he wanted to have with you Swerve had a wonderful idea, one that he wished to share with nobody else but you. Making as little noise as he could, he grabbed your datapad, leaving a short message on it and placing it beside you. Barely resisting the urge to kiss your forehead, Swerve left, looking forward to the moment you would wake up and go to him.

With a yawn and a stretch, you woke up, somewhat achy from the hard berth beneath you. You hadn’t meant to sleep there, you had just been waiting for Swerve to come from whatever nerve-wracking operation Ratchet had him in and you’d felt so close to him being where he recharged, then you must have fallen asleep because you didn’t remember anything else after that.

It was only when you stood up for one final stretch that you noticed the Datapad beside you. You knew you hadn’t left it there the night before so decided to take a look at it, your heart fluttering when you saw a message from Swerve.

(Y/N), I didn’t want to wake you. Please, come to me at the bar.

Yours always, Swerve.

XXX

You were simultaneously ecstatic that Swerve was recovered from his injuries, exasperated that he’d chose to go straight to the bar, curious at what he was planning, and anxious about whether he was faring well mentally; it was a difficult amount of emotions to keep up with. Deciding not to waste any more time than you had to, you hopped over to your wardrobe and grabbed the first items of clothing at hand, a plain green shirt with a lemon on it and some jeans. You grabbed your hoverboard and sped hastily to Swerve’s.

Upon reaching the bar, you were glad to find it still wasn’t open to the crew. Maybe Cybertronian recovery wasn’t the same as human recovery, but you still hoped Swerve would take things easy for a while; it also meant you would be able to talk to him one on one without any unpleasant interruptions.

At the sound of the door opening, Swerve looked up from the table he’d been cleaning during his wait for you. Although you weren’t wearing anything particularly fancy, he couldn’t take his optics off you, finding you even more bedazzling than he usually did. A goofy grin spread across his face. He was about to approach you, but you beat him to it, running straight at him as fast as you could and jumping into his arms, hugging him as tightly as possible, only able to reach halfway around his body with your small arms.

“H-hey there,” Swerve stammered, caught off guard by the warm welcome. “I wasn’t gone that long, was I?”

“Oh God,” You cried bittersweet tears. “I know Ratchet said you’d be okay, but I was so worried and then it took forever, and I didn’t get a call or anything and I couldn’t call him because what if he was still fixing you and-”

“Hey, hey,” Swerve patted your back, leaking coolant once again at your unexpected reaction. “Don’t you go crying over me, ‘cos now we’re both at it-”

You burbled an ungraceful laugh, burying you head in his chassis and mumbling, “Sorry, I don’t mean to be a mess right now. I just- I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Swerve croaked, resting his head in your hair and delighting in the touch and scent until you finally pulled away, wiping your eyes with the palms of your hands.

“Then you come back, and I cry like a baby,” You laughed, stepping away and trying to clear your mind and remember all the things you wanted to talk about. “Hey… I um- We have some pretty important things to discuss. Should we sit down or- I don’t- I don’t know where to start but- um Gosh I wish I’d prepared myself for this- Uh do you-”

Swerve pressed a digit to your lips, “Shh, not now.” He pulled away anxiously, awaiting your reaction.

“What? Swerve, sweetie, we have to talk about this. You could have died-”

“I know! I do and I promise, we will talk about it, it’s just- Primus- Is it alright if we have just one night to ourselves? Please… I think after everything, we at least deserve one good night together, right?”

In your heart you felt that you shouldn’t avoid such a heavy topic, one that had endangered Swerve’s very life, but the way his optics bored into you tugged at your confused emotions. You sighed, “You better keep your word, Swerve, I mean it!”

Swerve nodded somewhat giddily, glad that you were about to go along with his idea, however unwitting you were to it. “I will, you have my word as a bartender.”

You couldn’t help the small smile that formed to see Swerve so lively again, though you promised to never forget just how good he could be at hiding his emotions. “Alright then, so… I can see you’ve got something planned, what is it?”

“Well, if you’ll come with me my lady, I have the best seats in the house booked,” He offered his servo which you took gladly, and Swerve couldn’t help wondering if this was how Chromedome felt when he held Rewind’s servo because of the height difference.

“Why thank you kind sir, though I must wonder how you managed to get us booked into the best bar this side of the galaxy.”

Swerve winked, glad you were joining in his game, “Well, it’s a little-known fact that I know the owner.”

“You don’t say.”

“Oh yeah, me and him go way back, we were sparklings together.”

“Well, that explains how you managed to book the entire place.”

An uncontrolled high-pitched laugh escaped Swerve as he escorted you to the booth in the back. It had been decorated with a string of fairy-lights and roughly folded metal flowers which had been hastily painted presumably while you were sleeping. There was also a faint earthy aroma coming from a wet pot of mud under the table, which you knew Swerve had put there to remind you of home. Overall, it didn’t look like the most romantic setting in the world since Swerve was no great craftsman like Ten, but the effort he’d put into everything threatened to make you cry again.

Fortunately, you managed a grateful smile that lit up your entire face, “It really is the most beautiful place this side of the galaxy.”

Even though you were perfectly capable of climbing onto the chair yourself, Swerve played the roll of the perfect gentleman, saving you the effort by lifting you onto it before seating himself. From under the table, he pulled a large platter, lifting it to reveal what you could only assume was his first attempt at food. Despite the questionable items before you, you didn’t want to insult Swerve’s hard work so when he offered you a plate, you took it.

“Ah, so your super-secret plan was-”

“A dinner date!” Swerve beamed, though a shadow quickly contorted his face into a fearful mask, “That is if you were still up for trying this that is. I mean, I probably should have asked first and stuff. Primus! Are you here because you feel pressured? I mean, if you are then don’t worry about me, I’m a grown bot, I don’t mind if-“

“Hey,” You reached over the table, grabbing his hand with both of yours, “I’m glad to be here; it’s just you and me tonight Swerve.”

He swallowed, feeling both nervous and excited now that you’d confirmed it was a date. ‘Don’t screw this up, for once in your life, do not screw this up,’ He reminded himself, and yet, despite your comforting tone, something was still bothering him.

You couldn’t help but be thankful for whatever Swerve was going through in his processor because it meant you didn’t have to eat the lumpy, charred food in front of you that seemed to be bubbling, at least not for now. “What?” you asked. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…” Swerve pulled his servo from yours, holding it to his helm where it wavered slightly, “We’re up here.” He moved it to his chassis, “Like we should be down here, but we’ve gone past that,” he raised his servo back up to his helm, “But we’re here already.”

“Um, Swerve… what do you mean?”

“I mean-” Swerve blushed and rushed his sentence out in a hurried mumble, “Wealreadydidit.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Wealreadydidit.”

“Um, I didn’t quite get that either.”

Swerve buried his face in his servos, “IT! We already did it! We interfaced and I can’t even remember doing it. Primus, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He pressed his face against the table, ashamed he’d brought up such a delicate subject at all, and so tactlessly at that.

You said nothing and Swerve heard a small thud as you got off your chair. He resisted the urge to sob, knowing full well that he’d scared you off with his crude complaint. Of course you’d left, any sane person would have. He cursed himself; you hadn’t even been there a few clicks and now it was over. Then, much to his surprise, he felt you press against him, having just climbed up to his side of the booth. He didn’t know what to say, so he bit his tongue before he could say anything else stupid.

“You know… I get it. You’re a good guy Swerve and as far as I can tell, you have a lot of ideals about how relationships should work, and to be honest, you’re probably right. Most people would call it old fashioned, but I think it’s romantic. Um… Maybe, we could just forget that we um… did ‘it,’” You said, careful to use the same term as he did in case you embarrassed him further.

“Primus, why are you so damn perfect? I just said I can’t remember ‘it’ and you’re okay with that? Like what if I did something wrong and… Wait! Did I? Did I do something wrong or was it um… FRAG!” He lifted his helm up in shock, “First I ruin the date and then I make it worse by asking how I was? What kind of self-obsessed dumb-aft am I?”

You bit your lip, glad he was distracted because you didn’t really want to answer the question. What would you say anyway? ‘Yeah Swerve, don’t worry, both of us were too shit-faced to have any control so it was pretty short-lived, but it did scratch a well-developed itch. Next time if we’re not drunk, we’ll get it right.’

You didn’t know what to say to get things back on track and Swerve continued babbling about interfacing throwing in some self-depreciating comments that you longed to distract him from. Hastily, you did the first thing that came to mind, standing up on the chair and crushing your lips against his. Swerve’s body went limp momentarily, his processor stating numbly, ‘Oh, this is happening now.’

In all the time he’d known you, he’d planned a world ending kiss, under the view of the stars which would make the entire universe sing and dance, but as it turned out, you’d done it first and all to shut him up.

Finally, his mind came back to him, practically screaming, ‘KISS HER BACK IDIOT!’

He quickly wrapped his arms around you, resting one on the small of your back and the other on your waist. He felt dizzy at the taste of you so sweet and exotic, yet familiar, your lips like everything else about you were wonderfully soft.

It was over much too soon as you pulled away for breath. “Feeling better?” You asked with a playful smile.

Swerve giggled somewhat idiotically, nodding so fast you thought his head might come off.

“Good, because if you keep kissing like that, you have nothing to worry about.”

You kissed him again, daring to slip a little tongue in, and feeling warm and bubbly, delighting in the fact that kissing Swerve felt so wonderfully right, like he was what you’d been missing all your life.

Swerve rolled his tongue over yours giddily, trying to memorise every part of you. His processor no longer roared at him, instead he only had one relieved feeling as he leaned back into the booth, bringing you with him so you rested atop his chassis; that thought was, ‘At last.’

Rewind giggled to himself, going over the prank again in his processor. It was quite funny that Riptide of all mechs could have come up with such a great idea, and even better that it would be such an easy task for a TV expert like Rewind; all he had to do was change all the ship’s monitors to one of those hilariously bad Spanish Earth dramas, no big deal and there was only one place left to hit up.

Forgetting stealth for much preferred speed, Rewind laughed hysterically, the sound dying in his vocaliser upon running into Swerve’s where Swerve himself had you pressed against the bar as the two of you made out.

“(Y/N)!” Rewind screeched.

Swerve pulled away from you, and the two of you looked guiltily at the small bot in front of you.

“REWIND!” Swerve squawked, annoyed to have been disturbed in his sanctuary.

“Oh my God,” You breathed, embarrassed to have been caught at something that was supposed to be secret at least until things were under control.

“YOU,” Rewind pointed at you, “AND HIM,�� he jabbed his finger at Swerve.  “YOU’RE A THING! PRIMUS IT’S HAPPENING- IT’S HAPPENING!”

“REWIND,” You jumped from the bar, grabbing Rewind’s arms and shaking him, “Stop freaking out.”

“BUT YOU WERE DOING STUFF! YOU WERE DOING STUFF WITH SWERVE! SWERVE WAS DOING STUFF WITH YOU!”

“Yeah we were,” Swerve said somewhat dreamily.

“Not helping Swerve,” You reprimanded, though Swerve still looked a little smug about the revelation.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, turning your attention back to Rewind, “Look, you can’t tell anyone about this Rewind! Me and Swerve, we’re uh- we’re trying to keep things under wraps, y’know? Until we figure things out a bit more. Promise me you’ll keep this secret, ‘kay?”

“Uhhhh,” Rewind shuffled from your grip nervously, “I um- I can’t.”

“What? Why not?” You demanded angrily.

“’Cos well uh- It’s kind of funny actually-”

“What is? What’s funny Rewind?”

“Well I um- It was Riptide’s idea and uh- I was in here to do a prank and um-”

“SPIT IT OUT, REWIND!”

“I WAS LIVE-STREAMING THE ENTIRE THING, I’M SORRY,” He covered his face-plate, ashamed.

You took a deep-breath, afraid of what Rewind was saying, “Rewind… Sweetie… Who um- Who’s seen this?”

“Uh well, pretty much everyone at “Visage’s” right now… Do you um… Do you want to say hi? We’re still live.”

“OH MY GOD, GET OUT, NOW!”

Rewind didn’t have to be told twice, he ran faster than he knew he could, fearing your wrath despite the fact you were only human.

You glanced at Swerve, sighing exasperatedly, “Look, I get it, you’ve always wanted to be on TV, but do you have to look so damn proud of yourself.”

Swerve tried to look a little remorseful at his actions but found it impossible. “Hey, you’d be proud too if you pulled a total babe, now come on, let’s get back to the hab-suite before things get crazy.”

“Too late for that,” You mumbled, waiting for Swerve to transform, then climbing in and letting him drive you to your room.

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[trialnerror]

Rock of Age [Best Friend!Luke AU] CH 3

Word Count: 1645

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long..I’ll hopefully update again very soon xxx

Previous Chapters

Chapter 3

The next morning seemed to drag on forever as Hayden was busy unpacking the rest of the boxes that covered her room. It was a nice day outside, the sun was shining and weather was promising, something that Hayden had missed while she was away. Finally unpacked, she made her way downstairs finding her parents unpacking the kitchen, her brothers nowhere in sight.

“Morning honey,” her mother smiled. “Done with your room?”

“Yeah, I just finished.” she said, taking a seat at the island and grabbing an apple off of the paper plate that would soon be replaced by a fruit bowl. “You guys need help?” she asked, taking a bite.

“No, we’re good.” her dad responded, crushing one of the empty boxes down to a smaller size. “Can you get your brothers in here to finish their rooms? They haven’t touched anything since we’ve been back.”

“That’s because they’re lazy.” she smirked, laughing to herself and earning a chuckle from her father. “Do you know where they are?”

“I think they went somewhere with Jack and Ben, try the front?” her mother said, placing a glass bowl on the counter and filling it with the apples that Hayden had grabbed hers from.

Walking outside, Hayden continued to eat her apple, watching as her brothers passed the soccer ball around with Jack and Ben, all laughing at something that the other had said.

“Hey Hayden.” Jack said, smiling and passing the ball to one of her brothers.

“Hey guys, yknow that if you wanted to play outside, you should get your chores done first.” she smirked watching as the Hemmings brothers laughed as her own rolled their eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll get it done. Mum and dad need to relax a little.” Justin said, passing the ball back to Ben.

“Well they want you back inside so I’d suggest that you go now.”

“Fine. We’ll be back in a few guys.” Brandon said, making his way inside with his brother.

“So how’s it adjusting back here? Does it feel like home again?” Ben asked, doing some keep-ups while Jack watched.

“It felt like home since we landed, but I’m officially moved back in as of today.” she smiled, tossing the apple core into the nearby trash can.

“Congrats.” Ben smiled, now passing the ball to a waiting Jack.

“Mum was really happy to see you guys again, so much so that she’s already planning the next get together.” he laughed, making Hayden laugh along as well.

“Even Luke was pretty happy” Jack smirked, giving a knowing look to his brother as Hayden stood confused.

She hoped that Luke would be as happy as she was now that she was finally back home, but something in both Ben and Jacks reactions to that statement made her question things.

Was he not happy that she was back? He seemed happy yesterday when we all hung out, she thought as millions of questions swarmed her mind.

“After you left, he was telling us that you guys were supposed to hang out together.”

“Yeah we are tonight. We’re having a movie night.”

“Like the ones you guys had when we were little? Blanket forts and all?” Jack laughed, remembering when he and Ben would invade their movie nights and break their fort.

“No, no forts,” she laughed. “Just a movie.”

“Sure, just a movie.” Jack smirked, now confusing Hayden even more.

“What’s that look supposed to mean? I’m serious. We’re just watching a movie.” she said, now with some annoyance lingering in her voice.

“We both know that you’d much rather bring something else than just watch a movie. It’s pretty obvious” Ben stated, making Hayden roll her eyes and try to hide the blush that was creeping upon her cheeks.

“We’re just friends who are going to watch a movie. Nothing more.” she said, as her brothers returned.

“Whatever you say…” Jack joked, now passing the ball to Justin as they continued their game.

Going inside, Hayden went into the basement to prepare for their movie night, grabbing bags of chips and beer bottles. After getting everything ready and relaxing for a couple of hours, Hayden’s phone buzzed, her screen illuminating with a text from “The Boy Next Door”, a name that she had used for Luke’s contact.

*L: Hey, I’m on my way now but there’s a bit of a problem.*

*H: Is everything okay?*

*L: Yeah, the guys just showed up unannounced, is it cool if they tag along?*

Reading over his last message Hayden sighed to herself and thought of a response to his question. As much as she wanted to deny it, she did want to spend the night with Luke alone. No parents, siblings or friends to bother them, but now her plans were ruined. Was she hoping for something to happen? Maybe, but she knew better than to try anything after just coming back into his life, and vice versa. Still thinking of a response, her phone buzzed again with another message from Luke.  

*L: If you don’t want them to come, I’ll kick them out. They won’t really care.*

*H: No it’s fine they can come :)*

And with that, their party of 2 became a part of 5 as the boys now invaded her basement. They were currently watching a Fast and Furious marathon, a suggestion made by Michael that no one seemed to disagree with. Since arriving, Luke had made little to no effort to talk to Hayden, since every whisper that was heard was immediately shushed by Michael whose eyes never left the screen. Leaning her head against her hand on the edge of the couch, Hayden played a game on her phone, bored of the movie playing on the screen when Ashton leaned over and whispered quietly, an action scene playing just loud enough that Michael wouldn't hear them.

“Sorry if we crashed your movie night, I told Mike and Cal that we should’ve just stayed at my place.” he said.

“It’s fine.” she responded, a small smile on her face as she put her phone down.

“I mean it, I know that you wanted to hang out with Luke, and he wanted to hang with you too, but we ruined it.”

“You guys didn’t ruin anything.” she responded, Ashton nodding along as the movie ended.

“I’m bored. Now what?” Michael said, turning his attention toward everyone.

“We could play a game?” Luke asked.

“Or drink.” Calum responded, grabbing another beer for himself while everyone laughed at his response.

After deciding on just hanging around and talking, Hayden realized that the guys weren’t as disruptive as she thought and that they were just as funny and easy to get along with as Luke was. Talking with them was easy, especially with Ash she thought. She had learned about his family and childhood, how his father had left him and his mother at an early age and about his younger brother and sister. She also learned about his passion for music that stemmed from a young age and why he decided to get into the music industry with the other three boys. She hadn’t expected to hit it off so quickly with Ashton, having only met him a handful of times, but she was glad that at least someone was talking to her, even if it wasn’t who she originally hoped. Hours passed and many bottles finished, the guys decided it was time to leave, Hayden walking them out as they bid their farewells at the door, promising to hang out again.

“See ya Hayden.” Calum spoke. “Thanks for having us.”

“Next time we’ll do it Lukes place.” Michael spoke, laughing as Luke gave him a look.

“So we’re just volunteering my house next?” he asked, laughing along while rolling his eyes.

“Yeah it goes in order. Haydens, yours, Cals, Ashs and then mine, aka party central.” Michael spoke, now making everyone laugh at his remarks as they began walking to their cars.

“Thanks again for having us,” he spoke, “It was fun.”

“Yeah it was.” she smiled.

“Oh before I forget, give me your number.” he said, taking his phone out and creating a contact for her.

Smiling, Hayden took his phone and added her number in, sending a text to herself so she would have his number too and handed the phone back.

“I’ll text you,” he smiled, putting his phone away and grabbing his keys. “See ya tomorrow mate!”

“Bye” Luke yelled from inside, helping Hayden with the cleanup so she wouldn’t be stuck doing it tomorrow.

Watching as Hayden and Ashton said their goodbyes, an uneasy feeling settled in Luke’s stomach. Was it jealousy? Or was it the 4 bottles of beer that he had consumed over the night that had him feeling queasy. Once he was finished putting the bottles on the sink, he made his way over to Hayden, a smile on her face as she waved back at Ashton who had started to drive away.

“Sorry about them, I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” Luke spoke, snapping her from her thoughts as she approached the door.

“It’s okay, I had a lot more fun than I thought I would,” she smiled. “No offence.”

Laughing he shook his head and walked out on the porch. “None taken, see you around Hastings.”

“Bye Hemmings.” she smiled, closing the door and locking it behind her. Making her way to her room, Hayden quickly changed and got settled into bed when her screen lit up with a text, this time from Ashton. Smiling she grabbed her phone and responded, making one message turn to 10, turn to hours of messaging into the early hours of the next morning, with Luke watching as he lay in his own bed, the light shining on her face as she smiled while texting a boy that wasn't him.

Tag List: @roselukes @toofadedtofight @rosesarered516 @hoe4hemmo @heartbreakashton94 @calumspeachy @dukehoods @wrappedaroundcal @mistletoemichael @plainwhiteluke @irwinkitten @hereforlukescruff @astroashtonio @catchinqcalum @irwinvalentines @biggestslutforcalum @calumhampton @angelmikeyy @hotmessmichael @curlyhairedpopstars @meloncal @heavenlyhemminqs @24kcalum @calsjackets @boytoynamedcalum @alyssarester @ssophisticated-simplicityy @mycollectionofnuts @mysteriouslycali @calteahood @notoriouslyhood @ohhmuke @lukesflaredpants @slimthicccal @ghostofch @fucking5sos  @thepixiedreambitch @jetblackyoungblood @lashtoncurls @cosmocalum @iplaybassfor5sos

[all-the-love-harold]

The Daily Anna- Chapter 15

Chapter 14

Annagram #8

Masterpost 

This is the final chapter (besides the epilouge)! Get your tissues ready because it will make you teary. @lovesmelikebrandnewstarlight has been the most amazing beta throughout this whole series and I honestly can’t thank her enough for everything, because without her, I probably would have given up after chapter 4 or 5, so thanks Hannah for everything xxx 

Human life is fragile, it only takes the tiniest disruption to end it. In Anna’s case, her kidney failure became so bad that her own blood turned toxic and stopped her heart. By the time she made it to the hospital there was nothing that could be done to save her, her body failed her and at 3:23am on October 11th exactly six months after she met the love of her life, she died. Like most who pass away so young, she left a trail of broken hearts, but unlike most, her story left millions hanging in the balances. Before she passed, Anna hadn’t posted on her blog for a few days and her followers, who knew she was sick, were starting to worry, and Harry who was hurting more than anyone else was the one trusted with the task of delivering the news to the world, so through tears and gritted teeth he began to write.

 Harry Here…..,

 I don’t know how to start this, writing like this has never been my strong point, but Anna trusted me with this and it might just be the hardest thing that I’ll ever do.

 This morning, at 3:23 am Anna passed away. Her last few hours were peaceful, and filled with all the love that she deserves.

 Anna was a shining light in this world, a true angel that was taken too soon. My time with her was short, but I loved her with everything that I had and I will continue to love her until we meet again. Anna changed my life in so many ways, but it was her heart that made me fall for her. She was one of the most compassionate and kind people I have ever met, and I will never forget that.

 This blog, and everyone of you, meant the world to Anna, and in a weird way I am honoured to be the one to be writing this post.

 I’m lost for words right now, so I will leave you with the words Anna said to me just a few days ago.

 “Life is short, don’t waste your time dwelling on the past”

 I will spend the rest of my life taking this advice and I will forever hold Anna in my heart, as I hope you all will.

 All the love, and my deepest sympathies, H. xx.

****

Anna’s unpacked suitcase sat in the corner of Harry’s childhood bedroom. Untouched for days, because Harry was too hurt to even think about looking at her things. After Anna died, they all packed up their cars and went straight back to cheshire so that the world could stop for a little while and they could wrap their heads around it all.

This morning, as he stood staring at the dull black suit he was supposed to dress himself in to go to her funeral he noticed a cloth bag that he’d never seen before. It was black and covered in red and yellow dots in the shape of the Aboriginal flag, so Harry guessed that she’d bought it before things went downhill in Australia. There was a tag hanging off the zipper that read “To those I love with all my heart.” He opened it to reveal 5 envelopes, the first with his name on it.

“Gemma” he shouted knowing that she was getting ready in the room next door. “Gemma come here”

He stood frozen staring into the bag until Gemma walked softly into the room. “What’s up H?, you’re not dressed yet”

He handed her the bag without saying a word. She looked inside and the same expression appeared on her face. Had Anna really left them letters and were they ready to read them?

“Where did you find this H?”

“Her bag, noticed it this morning, but it must have been there for days”

“Should we read them?” Gemma asked, pulling out the letter addressed to Anne and herself.

Harry turned his letter over in his hand, as of he was about to open it, but stopped himself.

“Maybe we should wait” he said “Until after”

Gemma took the letter from him and nodded “get dressed then, we need to leave soon”

She left the room with the letters in her hand and Harry stood there frozen again, his suit looking less and less appealing the more he thought about what that letter might say. He never really got to say goodbye to her, the last thing he’d heard her say was “I can think of a lot of great things that have happened to you Styles” and he cherished that entire conversation they had, but that letter could say so much more, and he needed to know. He threw the suit on haphazardly, forgetting about the tie, and burst out of his room in search of Gemma and the bag.

“I need to know” he said as soon as he found her standing in the bathroom doing her makeup “I need to know what she wrote”

“Let’s give them to everyone first H, then you can read it” She pressed her lips together after putting the final coat of lipstick on and turned around, picking up the bag that was next to her. Anne was waiting in the living room for them to be ready. She hated funerals. And She hated even more that this was a funeral for someone her son held so dearly.

“There’s letters” Harry said, as he stepped down the stairs.

“What?” Anne said, surprised by his sudden excitement

“Anna left letters for us” he said

Her jaw dropped and her face went pale. It wasn't that she didn’t want to read what Anna had to say, she just didn’t know if today was the day for it, or if she could handle it right before the funeral.

“Harry we need to go,” she said “the letters can wait”

 And so they did. The funeral was everything you would imagine the funeral of twenty four year old woman with the whole world at her feet would be, desperately sad and horribly beautiful. It was in the same church that 10 years before Anna’s family laid Timmy to rest, which made the whole thing all the more devastating. The service was beautiful though, there wasn’t a dry eye the house when Gabby read her eulogy where she called Anna “her hero, her rock and her best friend”

Harry, Ronnie and John carried the coffin out and that’s when harry broke down. He didn’t care who was watching, he just said goodbye to the love of his life, and as they laid the coffin in the back of the hearse, Ronnie embraced Harry in a hug. A hug that lasted for what felt like a lifetime, filled with tears and sobs for the loss of their great love.

 As for the letters, Harry handed them out at the wake and they all read them when they needed it most. Harry couldn’t wait, he slipped outside while everyone else was preoccupied and sat down under a tree with a glass of whiskey and opened it.

 “Harry,

 I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve had to leave you so soon, I never wanted that, I wanted everything with you, I’m sorry that we never got that life together.

 I want you to know how happy you made me. Those last few months of my life were the happiest I’d ever had and that was all down to you. You showed me the world and everything that’s good and I can’t thank you enough for that.

 But promise me this Harry Styles; love again. You showed me what love is, and my life ended with the love of my life by my side, but you have an entire life ahead of you, and I want nothing more than for you to be happy. So love again, let yourself feel the same way you did the first time you saw me and build a life with someone else, someone who will love you just as much as I do.

 Life is cruel, and I wish I had more time to spend with you. I love you Styles. Don’t ever forget that.

 Anna. xx.”  

 ***

Anne and Gemma were the next to open their letter, they waited until Harry went back to London a few days after the funeral because they knew that while he was home he needed them to be strong and they weren’t sure they could be after reading it. It was addressed to the both of them and Gemma read it outloud as they sat in Anne’s living room, the golden autumn sun beaming through the window.

 Anne and Gemma,

 I want to thank both of you for making Harry the man that he is and I want to thank you for accepting me into your lives so easily. From the second I met both of you I felt warm and welcome and free to love Harry as I wanted to and I will always be grateful for that.

 Take care of him, I know you already do, but his heart is soft and this will break him. I am so sorry to love and leave him so soon, I wish I had more time with him. With all of you really. But know that being a part of your lives for the last six months has made all of this easier. So thank you.

 I’ll always be close by.

 Anna. xx.

 ***

 It took Debbie and John weeks to read their letter and it John who finally did broke the silence on the topic one morning as they sat eating breakfast.

“We should open that today” he said “It would be nice to know what my Anna had to say”

Debbie was numb, but she agreed, taking the envelope and opening it with her pointer. Tears filled her eyes as she read the first few lines out loud, but eventually her voice trailed off and she handed it to John once she was done but she couldn’t stay to watch him read it, she left the room, desperate sobs escaping her mouth as she walked away.

 Mum and Dad.

 I’m sorry you have to lose another child. I’m sorry to leave you, but I know you’ll be okay. I know how strong you both are. You kept our family together after Timmy died and I know you’ll do the same after this.

 Mum, I have always been proud to be your daughter and I always dreamed of mothering my children the same way you mothered us. I’m sorry that I'll never give you grandchildren, but I hope that what I did in my short life was enough to make you as proud of me as I am of you. I want to thank you for being my biggest supporter, for doing everything you could to allow me to follow my dreams. And if it helps you find closure, before I died, I was happy and loved and that’s all I ever really dreamed of.

 Dad, thank you for showing me what a good man looks like. Thank you for setting an example for the kind of love I deserve, and thank you for being the first man that I loved. You were always the person I trusted most when something went wrong, and I couldn’t tell you how many times I wished for one of your warm hugs when I first moved out. Make sure you give Gabby one of those now. She’ll need it more than anything.

 There’s so much more I could say to both of you, but I think it’s best if I leave it at this. I love you. Thank you for being the best parents you could, thank you for loving me with everything that you have.

 Anna. xx.

 ***

Gabby read her letter one day when she was feeling particularly lonely in her Uni Halls. The cooler weather had truly set in and she was wrapped in a blanket, staring out the window at the gloomy sky. It was a day when she felt like she had lost everything and Anna’s handwriting on the front of the envelope was a comfort to her, it made her feel a little closer to the sister she loved so dearly.

 Gabby,

 I don’t have the words to express how sorry I am for dying on you. You’ve been through too much already and my only hope is that you show the same strength and resilience that you did when Timmy left us.

 I’ve always admired your strength, never have I ever seen you break, you showed the bravery that I should have shown you  as your older sister.

 I have one last piece of advice to offer you; love. Let yourself fall because I promise you when you find the right person, it will be the greatest thing you ever do. Don’t wait and watch your life pass you by, live everyday as it comes and don’t stop yourself from feeling. Your strength is  one thing I always loved you for, but sometimes I think it is your greatest flaw.

 I love you Gabby. We’ll meet again somewhere.

 Anna. xx.

 ***

Ronnie was the last to open his letter. It was a whole year after Anna’s death that he finally gained the strength to know what she had to say to him. He’d clung so desperately to the Anna that he’d created in his head that he didn’t want anything to ruin that. But one October day in 2019, after he’d been on a date with a girl that he actually really liked, he opened the letter and felt as if he was talking to his best friend again.

 “Ronnie,

 My best friend, my rock, my hero. I can’t thank you enough for everything you ever did for me, you made me the woman I was.

 Writing this in past tense seems strange but I think it might be easier for you to read it this way.

 I’m sorry that things between us were rocky after Harry and I met, I know you were just protecting yourself. I never meant to hurt you, but meeting him was the best thing that happened to me and I had to go on that adventure. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t love you like you loved me.

 I know it wouldn’t have been easy to put everything that happened with us behind you once Harry appeared, I don’t know that I would have been able to if I was you. So thank you for being the bigger person, and coming on the trip with us, I am honoured to have been able to spend the last few weeks of my life with my best friend on the trip that we always talked about taking.

 I want you to know that you were always my favourite person, even after everything went to shit, you were the one I wanted to tell everything to and the one that I trusted the most.

 I wish you every happiness that life will offer you Ronnie, take every chance that you get and the next time I see you, I want to hear all about your adventures. Let yourself love, Ron and life will bring you great things.

 Anna. xx.

[ella-insideout]

I wasn’t told you’d be this cold (Part VI)

A/N: Hello lovelies! Welcome to part 6!!! Read all previous parts here to get caught up. Usual disclaimer: this is based on a very real and very sad relationship I had in uni. We’ve got lots going on in this chapter—angst, smut, fluff, literally everything. I hope you enjoy it!! XXX (PS - I’m thinking of making a playlist for this series, any song suggestions?)

Word count: 4.9k

Harry and Helena’s first kiss after months apart felt as though it went on forever. The tiny London side-street was empty but Helena felt as if she were in a movie—this would definitely be the part where the audience begins clapping because the two main characters finally found their way back to each other. But all good things must come to an end.

Harry broke away from the kiss first. And though Helena was scared that she might’ve crossed a line, when she opened her eyes she saw Harry smiling down at her. He pecked her lips once more before picking up the roses she’d dropped (she didn’t even realise they fell from her hands) and held his palm out to her. She interlaced their fingers and they walked back to Harry’s flat together.

Helena replayed the events from earlier in the week over and over again in her head while she made her way to Adrian’s flat. Though she explained to Harry she had dated over the summer, she incorrectly used past tense. All week, Adrian had texted her to grab dinner or drinks and she denied each invitation with lame excuses of ‘my mum needs me to housesit’ or ‘Bella and I already have plans’. And she felt horrible, she truly did, for lying to him—and technically cheating on him. She’d gone and kissed another person when they had already spoken about their exclusivity. Sure, they weren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but they were committed to one another; Helena thinks Adrian could’ve been her boyfriend, if it weren’t for Harry. It’s a quick walk from the overground to Adrian’s flat and Helena’s heart is practically beating out of her chest with anxiety as she knocks on his door. He answers with a grin but it quickly falters when he sees Helena’s stoic expression.

“Hi, love,” he leans in and pecks her cheek, allowing her to enter the room, “you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muses while walking to the small sofa, “can, er-can we talk?”

Helena is sat staring at her hands, too afraid to look Adrian in the eye. She feels the sofa sink down and begins speaking, nervous that if she doesn’t get everything out now, she never will. “I… God, I don’t know what to say. There’s thi-this guy and I met him last year, just when we started uni.” She takes a deep breath, “It was never really serious but I developed some…feelings for him. He went away but now he’s back.”

“So… You want to go back to him?” Adrian asks lowly. Helena looks up and their watery eyes meet.

“I don’t know,” she lets out a shaky breath, “bu-but I kissed him. I kissed him on Monday. I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry.” The tears fall out and she covers her face with her hands, unable to look at him any longer. She can hear Adrian sniffling beside her, indicating that she’s definitely hurt him.

“So we’re breaking up.” Adrian wipes at his tears as Helena picks her head up to face him once more.

“Y-yeah,” she squeaks out, “you deserve better than me. I fucking cheated on you. I’m a cheater!” The tears cascade down Helena’s cheeks again. However, instead of yelling at or kicking her out of his home, Adrian does the unexpected. He scoots closer to her and wraps his arm around her shoulders.

“No, no, no,” he tuts in her ear, “you’re not a cheater. You made a mistake, s’all. We all do.”

“Don’t be nice to me, I don’t deserve it. You should hate me.” She cries more into the crook of his neck.

“Don’t hate you, I could never,” he whispers, “I’m hurt—I won’t lie. I have feelings for you so of course I’m hurt. But you’re not a bad person. You just made a bad choice.”

“I have feelings for you, too. I really like you.” She hiccups, pulling away to look Adrian in the eyes.

“But you like this other bloke more.”

“I love him.” She responds instantly. It’s sad but true—she loves Harry with everything in her. She’d move mountains for him, but when she thinks about it, she wouldn’t do the same for Adrian. It’s only fair to let him go. “I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.” He says despondently. They sit for a little while crying together until the tears subside. When they’ve both calmed down, Helena composes herself and collects her things to leave. She looks around the tiny studio apartment and feels sad knowing it’s the last time she’ll see the four walls she’d grown so accustomed to. She wants to cry knowing she’ll never see Adrian again—at least romantically—but she holds herself together.

“So…” he draws out as they stand in the doorway.

“So, this is goodbye, I guess.” Helena shrugs her shoulders. “I’ll miss you.”

“Gonna miss you, too. Loads.”

“Do you… Do you think we can ever be friends. Maybe one day?”

“Maybe,” Adrian hums, “It just hurts now. I need some time.”

“I understand.” She nods her head.

“If things were different, if he wasn’t in the picture… Would you be wi—”

“Yes.” Helena cuts him off. She doesn’t need to hear the rest of his question; she knows that if Harry wasn’t around, she’d be with Adrian. And she needs him to know that.

“Well,” Adrian lets out a long breath, “that’s good to know, I guess.” He leans in for one last hug and she grips him tightly, scared to fully let go. “Be good.” He kisses her cheek for the final time.

“Be good.” She says back, walking away.

—

Helena was hurting after her break up with Adrian. She couldn’t really show it but she felt terrible. She cried the whole way home and again the next morning. She and Bella would meet up to talk a lot about Helena’s conflicting feelings toward both Adrian and Harry, and each conversation ended with Helena realising that she wanted Harry more. Maybe she needed someone like Adrian—someone who could commit and treat her nicely—but despite better judgement, her heart longer for Harry. And when she saw him, it felt like the world disappeared. They could be in a crowded room but Helena would swear that they were completely alone. Harry had this way of making Helena feel special, and as much as she wished it, Adrian never gave her the same feeling.

It’s about three weeks until uni starts up again and Helena is dreading it. Lately she and Harry had been spending every day and (almost) every night together. Sometimes they’ll go out into the city and discover new cafes and shops, taking full advantage of the last bits of the summer sun and warm weather. Sometimes they’ll stay in his and Niall’s flat, cooking pizzas and watching comedy specials on Netflix. They’ll sit on the sofa and Harry will lay his head in Helena’s lap, allowing her to play with his hair. As for the nights Helena spent with Harry, they were far from typical nights two nineteen-year-olds would spend together. While they’d kissed loads since Harry’s return, they hadn’t had sex yet. Harry feels it’s still a bit too soon after his breakup, but Helena thinks that Harry just wants things between them to be special. She’s oblivious when it comes to him.

It’s a fairly warm Sunday and Harry didn’t want it to go to waste. He asked Helena to join him for a picnic in Greenwich Park and put together a nice basket, he thinks. He’s got a bottle of white wine with two (plastic) wine glasses, an assortment of cheeses and crackers that came in a pack, and some jammy dodgers to satisfy Helena’s sweet tooth. He collected Helena at her bus stop (she’s still not back in Greenwich until next weekend) and the pair walk with their arms linked through the park to a secluded, shady area. Helena pulls out a folded quilt from her bag and lays it out for the two of them, toeing off her sandals she kneels down on the blanket and begins unpacking Harry’s basket.

“Oooh,” she quips, “you got the good wine! And the good cheese! And jammy dodgers!”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “only the best for m’girl.”

Helena’s smile grew when Harry called her his girl—he’d stopped calling her that while he dated Rachel and the nickname is a gentle reminder that Harry is hers again. Just hers. She’s happy it’s a warm day because she can see the rose tattoo on his forearm, it’s still a bit scabby but it looks beautiful. Helena thinks her cheeks may fall off from smiling so much.

The pair enjoyed their snacks and drinks while laying in the shade of the late morning, but as the afternoon sun became stronger, Helena convinced Harry to move their blanket into a warmer spot. She hiked up her calf-length dress to her mid-thigh in order to tan her pale skin and Harry removed his shirt to avoid getting a farmer’s tan. They laid in the sun and chatted while passing the wine bottle back and forth. Helena, a little bit tipsy at this point, started teasing Harry. At first it wasn’t entirely noticeable—she pulled her dress up a little bit higher and Harry assumed it was to even out her tan. Then she untied the halter of her top and tucked the strings into the sides, and Harry figured she didn’t want lines. Then she leaned over and though Harry thought she was going to kiss his cheek, her head tilted downward and she kissed his neck.

“Mmm,” Helena hums, peppering kisses up Harry’s jawline, “you look so nice today.”

“Thanks, H,” he clears his throat, “so do you, y’know.”

Helena pulls away from Harry and shuffles her legs beneath her, leaning back into her heels. Harry takes a moment to eye her over—her skin is dewy with a bit of sweat from sitting in direct sunlight and her skirt is very high up now. So high that if he looked a bit longer, he’d see her knickers. Her dress is no longer supported by the halter straps and the fabric is laying across her chest, her cleavage on full display. Unable to control himself, Harry all but lunges at Helena and brings their lips together. He immediately pushes his tongue into her mouth and she moans in response. She breaks away from the kiss and pushes Harry down, crawling on top of him. Harry shuts his eyes and puckers his lips, expecting Helena to meet him halfway but instead, he feels her on his neck again. She sucks for a moment on the spot above his collarbone and Harry grunts, placing his hand in her hair. She lightly bites the skin and sucks a bit more, wanting to make her mark on him. He’s finally hers and she wants everyone to know. Harry’s free hand slides from behind her back to her stomach and slowly trails up until he reaches her breasts. He begins kneading one in his hand, thumbing over her nipple through the fabric, and the feeling brings Helena back to reality.

“Harry, we can’t,” she pants out, “people will see.”

“No, no,” he whines, sitting up and situating Helena over his lap, “just lay your dress over us. If people come by they’ll think we’re ‘aving a cheeky snog. Which we are, aren’we?” He smirks at her. Helena complies and pulls her dress down, its length covering them. She reaches underneath the fabric and undoes Harry’s jeans, pulling out his cock. She pumps him a couple of times before she pulls her underwear aside and lines him up with her entrance. Helena sinks down on him and they both moan—a bit loudly—at the feeling.

“Missed this,” she says into Harry’s ear as she rocks on him, “missed you inside me.”

“Fuck,” he mumbles, “missed yeh too. Make m’cock feel so good, darling.”

Helena begins rolling her hips against his and the friction against her clit makes her head lean forward onto Harry’s shoulder. He places his hands on her hips and continues leading them in their movement, loving the feeling of her tight walls all around him. He takes one hand under her dress and circles his thumb around her; Helena’s head then tilts back as she cums. She’s squeezing his cock and he feels so good and Harry is about to cum until he realises they didn’t use a condom.

“Fu-fuck, m’sorry!” Harry practically yells as he lifts Helena up and pulls out just as he begins to cum. He can feel it dripping down his cock and knows he’s just ruined her dress, but he hasn’t had an orgasm since who-knows-when so he loses himself in the moment.

“Harry!” Helena chides him, “Could’ve at least given me a little warning.” She comes off him and settles at his side, poking at the wet spot near her upper thigh.

“Sorry, m’sorry,” he says sleepily, blinking his eyes open, “just so intense… Couldn’t think… Didn’t realise I wasn’t wearing a rubber till right before.”

“Harry, it’s okay, m’on the pill.”

“Yeh are? Since when?”

Helena’s eyes go wide for a moment. She doesn’t want to tell Harry she started birth control while dating Adrian. She definitely won’t be telling him that she’s had sex without condoms now and had someone cum inside her. Nope, she won’t be telling him. “For my period, to regulate it. But it has other benefits, too.” Harry wiggles his eyebrows and Helena laughs. She won’t tell him, ever.

—

It’s now Helena’s first day back in class and she’s slightly nervous. She lucked out with having all-afternoon lectures and seminars, but she wants to make sure this year goes well—academically and personally. She’s determined to get high marks in all of her courses and has a goal of studying abroad in Spain during Spring term; her programme also has connections with so many international businesses that she’d be able to undertake an internship during her abroad studies. And since Helena still has no clue about what she plans to do when she graduates in two year’s time (maybe journalism? Or PRing? Teaching?) she needs all the experience she can get.

As Helena walks from her shared flat with Bella to her first lecture of the year, she wonders about Harry. He, too, had his first class today and it let out around 11am with an hour-long seminar immediately after. She had texted and asked him to meet for lunch (since her course doesn’t begin until 1.30) but he’d never responded. Not that it’s unusual for Harry, just disheartening for Helena. So she left her flat a tad earlier in order to grab a sandwich at her favourite cafe near the market and as she walked through the door, a surprise was waiting for her.

Harry was sitting at a table against the cafe’s far wall in front of a full table of food, holding a bouquet of red roses. Helena spotted her usual sandwich order on the plate opposite him and as she approached the table, Harry stood up and held the flowers out to her.

“For you, m’lady.” Harry smiles and jokingly bows toward Helena. She happily takes the roses into her hands, smelling them before placing them down on the empty chair beside her.

“What’s all this for?” She questions as they sit down.

“Yeh told me yeh wanted lunch. I forgot to reply but I figured you’d come alone,” he shrugs, “you can never turn down a turkey-pesto sandwich.”

“I can’t!” She says before taking a bite of her freshly prepared lunch. Harry watches her fondly while she’s eating and in between bites Helena asks, “Why’re you staring at me?”

“S’just nice to see you eating, is all. Y’know… Being healthy.” Helena swallows and thinks back to her poor eating habits from earlier in the year. She’d lost so much weight but during the summer, she worked very hard to gain it back (in a healthy way). She exercised more to gain muscle and made sure to eat her three meals a day everyday. No excuses.

“Well, thank you for my meal,” she grins as they make eye contact, “it was really lovely. And you didn’t have to treat me or spoil me with these flowers.”

“Course I did,” Harry scoffs, “do you know what today is?”

“My first day of classes?”

“No.”

“Our first day of classes?”

“Also no.” Helena huffs at his response. “S’the day we first met. On the booze cruise last year.”

“Oh.” She says with a twinkle in her eye, thinking back to that night. She was completely enamored with Harry from the moment she saw him. She remembered wondering if she would see him again and what it’d be like. If only she could tell her past self all the ups and downs she’s had with Harry over the past year. But she’d do it all over again, if it meant she could have him.

“So, happy meet-a-versary, H.” Harry raises his glass of water.

“Happy meet-a-versary, H.” Helena giggles as she clinks her glass with his, both taking a sip at the same time.

—

Though it’s just been a few weeks into fall term, Helena already felt overwhelmed. Her courses were much more demanding than the year prior; she had about 600 pages of reading per week, and she was only enrolled in four classes. She was also working diligently on her study abroad application by freshening up her resume and writing covering letters for potential employers. She hasn’t yet told Harry about her plans to go abroad and she feels a bit guilty—it’s not that he wouldn’t be supportive, because he would be, but Helena is nervous about leaving him behind. They’d already been separated once and she was completely broken. She’s not sure how she’ll cope if she’s away from him while they’re actually together.

In need of blowing off some steam, Helena asked Niall to arrange a night for everyone to go out and let loose. She doesn’t want to be belligerently drunk, no, but just enough to have a good time (and possibly steal a cheeky drunken snog with Harry). Fortunately, Niall was able to get free tickets for show at the same venue he’d taken Bella and Helena to over the summer—the same venue Helena met Adrian. As the girls were getting ready to go out, Bella made a quick comment about how funny it’d be if they ran into him there. Helena laughed along, but deep down she was nervous it may actually happen.

They met the boys at their flat and made their way to the overground station; Harry wraps his arm around Helena’s shoulders as they walk and keeps her body close to his, which was unusual. Harry was never one to show affection in front of their friends (especially Niall and Bella) and he never once put his arm around her while walking. As they sit next to each other on the train, Harry places his hand on her thigh, lightly squeezing it from time to time. Helena was confused, to say the least, but figured Harry was just trying to be better. Maybe he’s just trying to show her that he does care and he doesn’t mind their friends knowing about their relationship.

As they get into the venue, Niall immediately makes a beeline for the bar to greet his old work mates and score some free drinks. He comes back with vodka cranberries for the girls, two pints for himself and Harry, and a tray of tequila shots.

“Oi! What’s this?” Bella shouts out upon seeing Niall carrying the shots over.

“My old coworker wanted us t’have a good night! Free round of shots!” Niall passes out the limes to the group and hands everyone a shot glass. “To second year!” He raises his glass.

“Second year!” They yell in unison before tilting their heads back and quickly swallowing the burning alcohol. If this was any indicator of how the night would go, Helena was more than excited. She wanted nothing more than to drink good liquor, dance to good music, and be with Harry. This was the first time they’d done something with their mates since getting back together—if that’s what they could call it. Helena was happy that she finally got what she yearned for over the past year.

The night started off pretty well. Between the drinks and the music, everyone was having a great time. Niall and Bella danced a bit before they each branched out and met other people in the bar; Harry and Helena, on the other hand, were inseparable. And the more they drank, the more affectionate they became. It started off with the pair dancing fairly close together but eventually they were snogging and grinding against one another in the middle of the crowd. Luckily, as they were surrounded by fellow drunk teenagers, no one seemed to mind all that much. Everything was going great, Helena truly thinks so, but the thought swiftly leaves her mind once she gets to the bar.

As fate would have it, Adrian stands next to Helena while she’s waiting on hers and Harry’s latest round. She didn’t notice him at first but the second he places his order, Helena recognises his voice. Debating whether or not to grab her drinks and runaway, she goes against her better judgement and turns to his direction.

“Adrian!” She says excitedly, “Funny seeing you here.”

His eyes go wide and he looks her over, before softening his expression. “Hi! How’re you?”

“Good, good,” she smiles, “just here with some mates. Niall’s around here somewhere, if you wanted to say hello!”

“Nice, haven’t seen him yet but I’ll keep a lookout.”

It’s awkwardly silent for a beat before the bartender interrupts and hands Adrian his beer bottle; he gestures to Helena and they both walk back into the crowd. Harry, waiting for Helena to return, sees her walking next to Adrian and furrows his brow. Helena wordlessly hands Harry his drink as Adrian stands beside her, introducing himself.

“Hey, mate,” he offers his hand out, “M’Adrian. Friend of Niall’s and Helena’s.” Harry doesn’t accept the handshake or respond to Adrian, instead he turns to Helena.

“How d’yeh know him?” Harry shrugs his shoulder and nods his head in Adrian’s direction. Helena’s heart begins to beat faster as she’s unsure of what to say back. Lying could hurt both of their feelings, but telling the truth could hurt Harry more.

“I met Adrian through Niall,” she replies coolly, “over the summer. He played here one night.”

“Ahh, you’re a musician?” Harry raises an eyebrow, now staring Adrian in the eye. He looks at Helena nervously and she practically pleads with him in just one look to not say anything.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “s’how I know Niall.”

“And you met H through Niall?” Harry questions him again, making sure to emphasize his nickname for Helena.

“Yep,” Adrian gives a quick smile to her, “Niall brought her and Bella to our gig.”

“Sorry, I just find it a bit weird that yeh know Niall, and H, and Bella, yet I’ve never seen yeh ‘round.”

“Well, H,” Helena interjects, “you were gone during the summer. Adrian’s got a job so he’s quite busy.”

“Hmm.” Harry hums in response. “Well, m’off to the loo. See yeh later, mate.” Harry smirks at Adrian before walking off.

“I’m really sorry,” Helena explains as soon as Harry’s out of sight, “don’t know what got into him tonight.”

“Is that the bloke you left me for?” Adrian deadpans. Helena, feeling nervous, slightly nods her head yes. “Wow,” he scoffs, “he’s a proper jerk.”

“He’s got his off moments, but he’s a sweet guy.” She tries to convince him, feeling like she’s really attempting to convince herself.

“None of that was sweet, in my opinion. But you can make your own decisions.”

“I’m sorry, truly.” She places her hand on his forearm and he smiles at her.

“I know. I think m’gonna go find my mates now.”

“Okay.” Helena whispers.

“See you around.” Adrian muses before walking away.

Helena stays in her spot, trying to dissect what’s just happened. She hadn’t seen Adrian in almost two months and on the one night she goes out, he happens to be in the same bar as her. Granted, it’s the bar they met in, but still—London’s a big city. She should never run into her ex, she thinks. While still mulling over her thoughts about seeing Adrian again, Helena sets off to find Harry. She knew he was pissed—and he had a right to be—but she needs to set things straight. She needs to tell him the truth.

Helena enters a long hallway marked for the washrooms and sees the women’s room on the right (with a line outside, of course) and the men’s on the left. Hoping she hadn’t missed Harry, she waits along the wall for a few moments before he comes out, eyes widening when seeing her.

“Harry,” she groans as he walks past her, “please don’t ignore me.”

“M’not ignoring you,” he replies, stopping to turn and face her, “I want to leave. Now.” Helena doesn’t say anything but follows him toward the door. She types a quick text to Bella and Niall to let them know she and Harry are heading home as she walks outside into the cool October air. Harry’s situated himself against the wall of the building with his arms crossed and chest heaving.

“S’that the guy?” He mumbles to Helena.

“Yeah, okay, I dated him in the summer!” She waves her arms in the air dramatically.

“Yeh didn’t tell me that Niall introduced you! Niall—my best mate!” Harry starts shouting.

“He didn’t introduce us,” she yells back, “we met through him! S’not like Niall just showed up with Adrian and said, ‘Here’s Helena, go bang now!’—he introduced himself to me!”

Harry’s expression softens and he quietly asks, “Yeh had sex with him?”

“God, Harry, yeah, I did.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m not just some prude that waits around for you! You were gone! You can’t be mad at me for fucking someone else when you did the same, for months!” If things were different, Helena may have reacted differently. If she hadn’t drank so much, if Harry hadn’t been so rude, she would’ve phrased things differently. But unfortunately, life doesn’t allow do-overs.

“I never rubbed it in your face, though!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Helena laughs to herself. “The first time you told me about Rachel was literally hours after you’d fucked her for the first time. You were practically nude!”

“That’s because you walked into my flat!” Harry points his finger in Helena’s face and her entire demeanor changes. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in order to calm herself.

“You’re right,” she lowers her volume, “everything is my fault. Always has been. I walked in on you. I brought Adrian to you. It’s all on me.”

“Fuck,” Harry pants, pulling Helena against his body, “m’sorry, m’sorry. I don’t blame yeh, not putting anything on yeh. Just being a dick, m’sorry.” Helena doesn’t say anything, but wraps her hands around his torso and presses her face against his neck. “I’m being a jealous dick, I know. S’just now that I have yeh, I don’t want to think o’you with someone else. But when I met… Him… Couldn’t help myself. M’sorry, love.” He kisses the top of her head.

“I’m sorry, too,” she says, looking up at him, “I should’ve said something to you. Or not been so secretive about it.”

“I’m all in, y’know. M’here for you. I just want to know you’re here fo’me.”

“Always, H. I’ve been here.”

“Show me.” Harry glances down at her. Helena stands on her tip-toes and lays a soft kiss against his lips.

“Okay.” She pulls away from him and grabs his hand, walking down the streets of Shoreditch. She’s been in this area so often that she knows it fairly well and remembers seeing a tattoo shop that’s open late. After a few minutes, they find it and Helena unlaces her fingers from Harry’s as she walks up to the counter and decides what she’s going to get. She signs some paperwork and swipes her card and is then led to the back by the artist. She’s only gone for a moment, it seems, before she comes back out with a bandage over her wrist.

“What’d yeh get?” Harry pulls her arm forward, already removing the plaster to pull the gauze off. On the inside of her right wrist, there’s a small ‘H’ inside of a heart. Helena grins up at Harry as he places the bandage back over the raw tattoo, kissing it.

“You like it?” Helena questions him. Instead of speaking, Harry brings his hands to Helena’s waist and lifts her up, kissing her cheeks while she squeals.

“Love it,” he sighs, placing her back down and kissing the top of her head, “love it so much.” Helena doesn’t respond but lays her head against his chest, peppering kisses over his beating heart. She was his and he was hers and now nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever come between them.

[maylovexhs]

A Case of Serendipity (H.S) - Chapter 11

Author’s Note: WOW. I KNOW. I didn’t post a chapter in like two months. Sorry, a sister has been busy with her other writing. I hope you all read my message about my postings. Anyways . . .This chapter is a whirlwind and longg. Just saying. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy! xxx M

Masterlist

A Case of Serendipity Masterlist

JUNE 20TH, 2018 

“Good morning” I said tugging the shower curtain to the side, revealing and scaring a wet and naked Michael.

“Daph!” Michael said out loud, in relief. “Why are you naked?”

“I need a shower” I said to him. “I figured I could shower with you”

Michael slicked his hair back.

“You said you were in a rush” He said.

“Exactly” I said, stepping into the shower with him. “Save some water and time together honey. Move over a bit.”

Michael took a step back in the shower. I tugged the curtain back, covering us both in case the bathroom lock wasn’t enough to stop Michael’s roommates from walking in on us. Michael’s and mines relationship has changed a lot. Ever since I found out about Alyssa and Ray, my apartment has become a hook up place for them. I didn’t mind it at first. Ray would only come over once a week and I had my headphones so I luckily could avoid hearing them have sex. It soon became a problem when Ray came over more. So. . .I spent more time with Michael to escape them. I was pretty sure I lived half of my life at Michael’s place and half at mine. I grown comfortable here. Comfortable enough to be have sex with and be naked in front of Michael.

Michael squinted his eyes at me, not believing in my words.

“I’m pretty sure us together won’t save that” He said. “We’re gonna be more late”

“Oh well” I smirked, stepping closer and leaning in to kiss him.

I pressed my soft lips against his, slowly kissing him. I pulled away after a moment to breath. The air started to become steamy from the hot water. Michael cupped my cheek with his hand and titled his head as he leaned in to kiss me. I closed my eyes.

I moaned in our kiss. Time was precious. So was kinda sex. I was in the mood for a quicke before work.

I pulled away from Michael.

“Quicke?” I asked him.

“Might as well” Michael answered me.

I smiled before kissing him again. I wrapped my arm around his neck. Michael pulled his lips away from mine and started to kiss down the side of my neck. I twisted my fingers in his hair as I leaned back.

To say I was happy was an understatement. I had everything I ever wanted. A loving relationship. Supportive friends. About to become a college graduate. Everything was going well for me and I couldn’t be much ha-

“Michael!” Lucas called out for Michael outside the bathroom, interrupting my thoughts. “Michael!”

Michael drew his lips away from my neck, stepping back away from me. I bit down on my bottom lip, looking down at the shower’s tiles.

“Yeah?” Micheal asked him.

I didn’t dare to make a sound. Lucas knowing I was in the shower with Michael would make the situation more awkward.

“When are you getting out, man?” Lucas asked. “I can’t be late to my final”

“Can you give me five minutes?” Michael asked out loud for him to hear.

“I’ll be counting” Lucas said.

“Guess we won’t be having a quickie this morning” Michael whispered to me.

“Guess not”

“You’re both late” Alyssa remarked at Micheal and I’s lateness.

“Sorry” I apologized, sitting down in my chair. “We didn’t miss anything right?”

“Nope” Alyssa said, smirking at me.

I squinted my eyes at her. She never smiles. She was lying.

“What did we miss?” I asked her.

Before she could answer, my desk phone started to ring. Alyssa stood up.

“I guess you both will find out” Alyssa said.

She walked out of the cubicles. I shook my head, trying to gather my thoughts. I picked up the phone and held it near my ear.

“Daphne Valdez! How can I help you?” I asked in a welcoming voice into the phone.

“Hello Daphne Valdez!” I heard one of my favorite friends talk in his British accent to me.

I smiled, blushing.

“This is Harry Styles. I was wondering if I could meet you for lunch. I’m back in town and I need some help” Harry said, pretending to be a client.

“For what?” I asked, playing along. “You have to be more specific. I am a busy girl”

I could hear Harry chuckle on the other side of the line.

“A busy girl needs a break, doesn’t she?” Harry asked me.

He was flirting, trying to charm me. I was taken however.

“Maybe tomorrow” I answered him. “I have made plans already”

“Dammit!” Harry said in a fake angry tone.

I giggled.

“You should have told me that you were coming earlier” I mentioned to him. “Your chances would have been better”

“Daphne” I heard Michael say to me.

I looked up to see him. I smiled.

“I’ll call you later H” I said to Harry over the phone. “I have work to do”

“Work or your phone?” Harry asked me.

I smiled.

“Bye H” I said.

I ended the call and placed the phone down. I looked to Michael again.

“Harry?” He asked, referring to my phone call.

“Yes” I answered. “Did you want to talk to me or do actual work?”

“Mr. Johnson wants to talk to us” Micheal said.

I stood up from my chair.

“If we get fired because of our relationship, I’m suing” I joked.

Michael let out a chuckle.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not the case” Michael said. “We follow the rules and we all got called in”

“We all?” I asked, confused. “Like the whole office?”

“No” Michael answered. “Just the interns”

I looked at Alyssa’s and Chloe’s desks. I guess that would explain their absence there.

“Okay” I said.

Michael walked out of the cubicles. I followed him. We both walked into the conference room where Alyssa, Ray and Chloe were already sitting down. I took a seat near Chloe. Michael took a seat near Alyssa. Ray was in the middle of Alyssa and I.

“So, what do you think this is?” Ray asked, leaning towards me. “A congratulations speech?”

“I think it is” Chloe answered before I could speak. “Some of my friends got one at their work”

“That’s ridiculous, Chloe” Alyssa said. “If was, he would say it to us in the cubicles”

“How do you know that?” Chloe asked her.

Mr. Johnson walked in, interrupting our conversation. He looked pleased. This was a good sign.

“Morning everyone” Mr. Johnson said to us.

“Morning” We all greeted back with Chloe having the most enthusiasm.

“So, why are we here?” Ray asked him. “Are we getting something? Are we getting fired?”

“Not exactly, Ray” Mr. Johnson said.

Michael and I looked to each other.

Not exactly. Not exactly getting fired. That could mean anything.

“What do you mean by not exactly?” Alyssa asked, crossing her arms at Mr. Johnson.

“I could explain” Mr. Johnson said, taking a seat on the opposite side of the table.

I sat up more in my chair. I looked to Mr. Johnson.

“In the beginning, I told you all that you were lucky to be selected for this internship and that it was a privilege to have you here” Mr. Johnson began to speak. “It still is a privilege-“

“It’s a privilege working with you too!” Chloe said, smiling as she interrupted Mr. Johnson from speaking.

We all looked to her, becoming slightly annoyed. Apparently we all knew where this was going except Chloe. I looked to Mr. Johnson once more.

“This internship is only opened to a few students every five years” Mr. Johnson continued to speak. “Next year, it’s not”

“And?” Ray asked, restless. “What’s the point?”

Mr. Johnson placed his hands on the table. He was smiling anymore.

“The point is I cannot employ all of you to work here next year” Mr. Johnson spoke. “I can only employ only two until more people are needed which usually is in another five years”

I sat back in my chair.

Two people. Two out of us five won’t be fired. Three of us are getting laid off.

“Wait . .what does that mean?” Chloe asked, looking terrified.

“Are we getting fired?” Alyssa asked having a more serious tone of voice.

“Yes” Mr. Johnson said. “Except two”

“So, you’re making layoffs” I said, trying to be simple.

“Yes” Mr. Johnson answered.

“Who are you keeping then?” Michael asked him.

We all looked to each other. I’m a matter of a second, we all turned from friends into rivals. So much for a graduation surprise.

“I have not decided yet” Mr. Johnson stated. “But when I do you will get a call. If you don’t, come in the next day to pick up your belongings”

“Which day?” I asked him. “Before or after graduation?”

“After, most likely” He said.

“That’s a few days away!” Ray exclaimed. “You can’t drop this bomb on us and expect us not to worry!”

“You won’t have nothing to worry about if you’ve been great all this year”Mr. Johnson said, looking at me.

He looked away.

“That is all” Mr. Johnson said.

He stood up from the table and walked out of the room. We all were speechless. Even Chloe. Chloe looked if she was on the edge of a mental breakdown. A moment later, Ray turned to me.

“Congratulations Daphne!” Ray said to me with a dead tone. “You’re not getting fired”

I looked to him, surprised.

“You don’t know that” I said to him. “We all have a chance”

“Do we?” Ray asked. “I’m pretty sure your friend Harry Styles knows”

“Ray-“ Michael and Alyssa said trying to stop him.

“What?” Ray asked, amused. “We all know it’s her. Say hi to him, won’t you?”

Ray stood up from his seat and walked out of the conference room. Michael and I looked to each other. He stood up from his chair. I expected him to say something to me but instead he left. He walked out of the conference room. Alyssa stood up.

“They’re both upset” Alyssa said. “They know they didn’t do their best”

“Ray doesn’t have a to be a dick about to though” I mentioned.

Chloe stood up and ran out of the room. Alyssa and I heard Chloe sniffling and gasping. She was definitely going to cry.

“Cry baby Chloe is back” Alyssa pointed out.

“I’m going to check on her” I said to Alyssa. “Might be my last time”

“Good luck” Alyssa wished me. “I couldn’t”

“Be nice to her today, please?” I asked her.

Alyssa rolled her eyes.

“I’ll try my best” She said.

I smiled. I walked out of the room and walked into the ladies’ restroom where I expected to find Chloe. She was right there, in front of the mirror crying looking down at the sink.

“Chloe” I called on her.

“He’s right!” Chloe said to me. “You’re not going to get fired. I am”

I let out a sigh. I wished Michael and I would have arrived later for work. Then, I wouldn’t have to see this. I walked towards to her.

“No one knows that” I said. “Mr. Johnson said he didn’t decide yet. There’s another place too”

“Yeah, for Alyssa!” Chloe cried aloud. “It’s the end for me”

I moved closer to her. I started to rub her back.

“No, it’s not” I said, trying to comfort her. “There’s other jobs”

“No,no” Chloe shook her head. “My family hates me already. They’re gonna hate me more after this. I’m nothing more than a stupid daughter”

I grew speechless. I looked down to the floor while I continued to rub her back. I didn’t know what to say. Chloe, who was always supportive than everyone else was treated horribly. By her father. Her mother. Our collages. She didn’t deserve any of that. Not when she does everything for the people she loves.

We needed a distraction. A distraction or at least something that will forget about work until after graduation.

I looked to Chloe again. She took paper towels and started to clean away her tears.

“You wanna get out of here?”  I asked her.

“W-what?” Chloe asked, turning to me.

“You wanna get out of here?” I repeated my question.

“We can’t” Chloe said. “We have work”

I smiled a little.

“Chloe, it’s almost graduation and nothing we can do now can save us from being fired” I explained. “I think we deserve a break. Whatever happens, happens. We can’t stop it”

Chloe looked away for a moment and then back to me.

“Okay” She said. “Where?”

Distraction.

Usually when I needed to distract Chloe I would buy her a drink. However, this case with her was different. For one, there were no bars open in the daytime. For the second, alcohol would just make her cry more. Luckily, I had the option of going to see Harry with her. Knowing Chloe, she would probably forget about work and become fascinated with Harry’s tour stories. I called him to let him know we were coming to the arena. I didn’t tell him when. I didn’t want him to know I was ditching work to see him. I wanted it to be a surprise. Chloe, of course, joined along.

Chloe and I walked into the arena through the tunnel entrance nearest to the stage. Harry was on stage, obviously talking to Mitch and Adam. I doubted Harry would hear me seeing him being so fascinated in their discussion. At least I will give it a shot.

“H” I said out loud.

I didn’t catch Harry’s attention. I did catch Mitch’s however. He gave me a small smile.

“HARRY!” Chloe shouted, catching everyone’s attention.

Harry turned around to us. His face lit up the instant his eyes laid on me. His small dimples appeared from his wide smile. I smiled, blushing.

“Surprise!” I enthusiastically said, smiling.

Harry quickly walked off the stage and down the stairs. He walked over to us, immediately wrapping his around me. We hugged each other.

He smelled better than he did before the last time I saw him. His hair was a little longer and curlier. My cheeks were softly grazed by his curls. He felt more brawny. He had a strong grip on me. A strong enough grip to cut off my blood and air supply to my lungs.

“H . . . You’re killing me” I said, trying to get him off me.

I heard him chuckle in my ear.

“Missed yeh too Daph” Harry whispered to me.

Harry unwrapped his arms around me. I inhaled a deep breath. Harry smirked at me. He looked to Chloe.

“Promise I won’t kill yeh” Harry joked with her.

“Oh please do” Chloe blushed.

Harry and Chloe hugged. I waved hi to Adam and Mitch. I have only seen them on FaceTime yet I felt we were great acquaintances. I didn’t see Sarah or Clare. I figured they were backstage. Harry and Chloe broke up their hug. Harry looked confused. He looked to me.

“Aren’t yeh supposed to be at work?” Harry asked me.

“It’s a long story and it’s completely fine . . But we’re here!” I said, smiling trying to change the subject.

Harry shook his head at us.

“Yeh liar” Harry bluntly stated to me.

I let out a chuckle.

“Yeh still wearing it” Harry said, pointing to his rose necklace birthday gift that hung around my neck.

“Yeah” I said. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“So, H” Chloe said to him.

We looked to her.

“How was Brazil?” Chloe asked, excited. “London? Mexico City?”

“Amazing” Harry smiled at her. “Yeh want to hear about it?”

“YES” Chloe answered.

“I’m going to find Clare and Sarah” I said to them. “Wanted to surprise them too”

“Yeh leaving us? That fast?” Harry asked me, looking offended.

“Chill out H” I said to him. “I’m coming back”

I walked away from them and started to go backstage.

Distraction. This was the best damn distraction I could ever do.

Twing.

Mitch stopped playing his guitar as the song finished. Chloe clapped each time Harry finished a song. I didn’t. I was listening to the music and lyrics, which I only heard a few times before. There was no better time to listen than rehearsals. The music echoing through the empty arena made it seem intimate.

Chloe and I may have been sitting in the lower side of audience but Harry continued to catch my eye. Whatever if it was my intention or the aura he gave off, it seemed something was wrong with him. I couldn’t be the only one who noticed.

“Chloe” I whispered to her.

“Yeah?” Chloe asked, turning in her seat to me.

“Is it just me or does Harry seem off today?” I asked.

Chloe looked to him. He was complimenting Mitch on his guitar skills. Chloe shook her head.

“I don’t think so” She answered. “Why don’t you ask him about it?”

“No. I don’t think I will” I said. “It’s not my place to get into his business”

I looked to Harry and watched him. He pushed his hair back with his fingers. He looked to me.

I immediately looked to Chloe. Chloe smiled and waved to him.

“I’m going to call Michael” I said to Chloe as I stood up from my chair. “I’ll be back”

“Take your time” Chloe said. “I’m going to talk to Clare and Sarah”

I took my phone out of my bag and walked up the stairs to the fifth row. I didn’t want anyone to hear my conversation with him. Considering the news we got today, I imagined the worst situation would be me shouting at him over the phone. I leaned against the railing and dialed Michael. I held the phone near my ear.

The phone rang. It continued to ring several more times. It didn’t stop to ring until it went to voicemail. I ended the call. He must be busy. I’ll let him have the chance to call me back. I looked to Harry. He was sitting on the edge of the stage while the rest were on break.

I smiled to myself. We both needed a bit of company.

I walked down the steps to the floor. I walked up the side steps of the stage and walked over to where Harry sat.

“Hey” I said to Harry taking a seat down next to him.

Harry immediately smiled at me. He seemed to have a gleam in his eyes.

“Hi” He said to me.

I let my feet dangle off the stage. I moved a little closer next to Harry. 

“I missed you” I professed to Harry.

“Did yeh?” Harry asked me, his smile growing bigger.

“I did” I stated. “I missed talking to you and telling you about my day”

“Yeh still can” Harry said. “How’s your day?”

“Surprisingly, it’s been alright so far” I admitted, locking eyes with Harry. “I mean, work is being a bigger bitch than always but I’ve been taking it well”

Harry laughed at me.

“A bigger bitch?” Harry asked, smiling. “What’s a bitch about it?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know” I said.

I didn’t want him to be worried for me. I knew he was too busy that another thing for him to worry about would probably drive him crazy. I also knew he was stubborn and loved knowing everything about everyone. He was that person who cared too much about others that it ended up affecting him.

“Tell me’h” Harry said. “C’mon”

I smiled. I looked down at my lap. I let out a sigh.

“There’s a chance I might get fired from my job” I explained. “My boss can only keep two of us so. . .”

I bit my lip. I could sense Harry staring at me. I didn’t mind him though. He was only trying to find a way to sympathize with me.

“Oh” I heard Harry let out.

I chuckled. I titled my head up, looking to him.

“You don’t have to worry about it, H. I can take care of myself” I told him. “Whatever happens, happens”

Harry smiled at me again. His smile was different this time. It was one of those smiles where if he figured something out and understood it. He understood me.

“Anyways . . .How’s your day?” I asked smiling, changing the subject to him.

“Not that much of a bitch” Harry said, making fun of my day. “I felt bett’er before”

I slightly smiled.

“Better before?” I asked him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Harry!” We both heard a man say.

Our heads turned toward the source of a voice. We looked to the side of the stage. It was one of the crew members. He was a ginger middle age man.

“Yeah?” Harry asked him.

“Stage is all set up” The ginger said.

“Thanks Matt” Harry said to him.

Matt walked away. It became apparent to me that Matt didn’t have a name tag on his shirt. Harry had become friends with all these people when he didn’t need to. He was truly an understanding and grounded person. I already knew this before with the amount of times Harry paid for my coffee before. However, this time proved it.

“Rehearsal calls” Harry said to me. “Yeh coming tom’orrow right?”

“Yeah, yeah” I answered him. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world”

Harry gave me a playful wink. I laughed. Harry stood up. He offered his hand out to me to help me up. I accepted, standing up beside him.

“I’ll call you soon” I said. “Gotta prove a point to my boss first”

“Don’t punch him” Harry jokingly advised me.

“I won’t H” I said.

Harry wrapped his arms around me, hugging me. I wrapped my arms around him too. I remembered he didn’t answer my question still. I won’t pressure him. Not when he has a show tomorrow.

We unwrapped our hands from each other.

“Bye H” I said to him.

“Bye Daph”

I smiled, looking down. Harry down the steps of the stage and then walked out of the arena, I walked down the steps and walked over to Chloe. She was talking to Clare.

“Hey, we should go” I said to Chloe, interrupting their conversation.

“Now?” Chloe asked me, surprised. “We just got here”

“Time passes while you’re having fun” I said.

Chloe rolled her eyes, annoyed.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Clare” Chloe said to Clare.

We both hugged her. We left her, starting to walk our way out of the arena.

“You’re not crying anymore” I pointed out to her as we walked.

“Yeah” Chloe said, smiling. “I think I only needed a distraction”

I smiled.

“Anyways, like you said, whatever happens, happens” Chloe said.

“Yup” I bit my lip.

“So, did you find out why Harry is all moody?” Chloe asked.

“No” I answered. “It’s none of my business”

“I know why” Chloe said, smiling with pride.

“What?” I asked her in surprise. “How do you know?”

“Clare told me” Chloe stated. “Unintentionally”

“Unintentionally?”

“Yeah” Chloe answered. “I’m surprised you didn’t find out first. You’re way closer to him. Besides I’m pretty sure with the news leaking out you would put one and one together”

I stopped walking. Chloe stopped as well and looked to me.

“What’s up?” Chloe asked me.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “What happened with Harry?”

“His girlfriend cheated on him” Chloe said. “He didn’t tell you he had one?”

This might be the stupidest yet loyalest thing I ever done so far.

I waited downstairs at the entrance of Harry’s apartment building. I called him saying I was downstairs. I called Michael before telling him I was spending the night by a friend. I didn’t clarify who since I didn’t want him to worry about anything else with our current work situation.

I had to come to Harry’s tonight. What kind of friend would abandon another friend who was cheated on? Sure, he didn’t tell me anything about it and it was none of my business but I felt obligated to help. I saw how he was earlier today. I wouldn’t leave someone alone if they were in that much misery.

I looked towards the elevator as I heard a signal that someone was coming down. The doors opened to reveal Harry. He smiled at me once we saw each other.

“Yeh should have told me’h yeh were coming” Harry said, walking towards me.

“I wanted to surprise you” I smiled to him.

Harry looked down to my hands, becoming confused. I held my CD player.

“Why do yeh have a CD player?” Harry asked me.

“Chloe told me about what happened between Camille and you and I figured you shouldn’t be alone” I explained.

“Is that why yeh brought it?” Harry asked, smirking at me while he crossed his arms. “So, I won’t feel alone?”

“Listen, if my friends can help me get through a breakup, I’m sure it can get you through yours” I stated.

Harry chuckled. He uncrossed his arms.

“Who are your friends?” Harry asked me.

“No Doubt, The Smiths, Silver. My favorite being 10cc” I said.

Harry smiled at them.

“I heard a few of them” He said.

“Not all” I pointed out.

“Can I meet them?” Harry asked.

“Of course” I said. “They might get annoying after a couple of times”

“Don’t worry” Harry said. “I’m a patient guy”

I smirked, looking down.

Patient. That’s a first.

“Okay” I said, looking to Harry again. “Let’s meet my friends”

[we-work-hard]

Conflict: Part Three

Pairing: AJ Styles x Shane McMahon

Summary: AJ and Shane struggle with their feelings for each other, before and after Wrestlemania 33 (Part One is here, and here’s Part Two – This starts up again the night after they’ve had their chat in the storeroom backstage at SmackDown during the last chapter. Then it goes back in time a bit to see how they got where they are..)

Notes: I’m trying to keep to a proper timeline with the appearances on Talking Smack that will feed in later, and what-happened-when on SmackDown. The UpUpDownDown cakeness in this chapter isn’t at the right time, though – I slightly fudged when that happened to fit it in... 

Warnings: Adultery, and always typos, and some imagined talk about other wrestlers in the industry (obvs, I’m not saying Shane and AJ would really think this about these people – but they do in this fic), and some blasphemous talk, I think (I hope it doesn’t offend anyone – the fam I come from is religious, but I’m not, so... yeah)

Tagging: Peeps who were kind about the other chapters – thank you so much, for being supportive (and thank you, ALWAYS, to @llowkeys for anonning with me when I was scared to join here, and for continuing to be a darling everyday – we’re so glad you’re back, bby xxx)

@llowkeys @scriptor @cruxcantare @castielscamander @omegaweaponx @athoughtfulmindwrites  @loveambrylayn  @innocent-reid @ladym0xley @bloodzaynpunk @dagger956luna @violas87 @eshia16 @alenathi @toosweetme @your-darkdiva @the-geekgoddes @newjapan @shoo-chan @welshwitch5 @idle-vanity @unabashedwwesmut @your-darkdiva

Conflict: Part Three

Shane’s been waiting for AJ for three and a half hours now. He’s lying on the hotel bed in the dark, fully clothed, shoes still on, drumming his stomach with his fingers. No doubt AJ’s going to go back to completely stonewalling him again. He reaches for his phone.

‘You’re not coming’

He doesn’t expect a response. AJ opening up to him again today was just a fluke, another little bit of hope to torment him. Physical proximity is the key to getting through to AJ, always has been – something about being able to hear Shane’s voice makes him listen. Touches make his shoulders relax, eye contact makes the truth come out. As soon as they’re physically apart again, the anger in AJ comes back. Suddenly, AJ thinks Shane’s playing a game with him – Shane wants to ruin his life; AJ’s never been interested in a man because he’s not like that; he was confused; he needs to reconnect with his church. All the things that fall away when Shane touches him.

Shane’s phone vibrates.

‘I cant’

Shane sits up on the bed, holding the phone in front of him. AJ’s thinking about it in the dark, too. What can he message back; what can he say that won’t make AJ shut down? He needs AJ here in front of him, but this is the chance he’s been given.

As he panics, his phone vibrates in his hands again, lighting up the dark room with a glow.

‘u don’t just want to talk’

He’s right. Shane quickly messages back.

‘No?’

‘nope. I know u’

Shane pulls himself to the edge of the bed and turns the lamp on, dropping the phone for a moment to wipe his clammy hands up and down on his pants – this is a big thing AJ’s doing right now, letting him back in. Shane can’t help the little thrill that goes through him at AJ allowing this type of communication. He thinks, and starts to type in...

‘What do you think I want to do?’

Will AJ respond to that? Please, please let AJ respond to that and not get mad, Shane thinks, his leg bouncing up and down.

‘think u want to kiss me again. + more’

Shane sits up straight, his stomach twisting with nerves and excitement.

‘I think I do... do you want me to?’ he thumbs in. That might be too far, but please let it not be, please let AJ respond, even if it’s just to tell him to stop.

‘perhaps’ is what his phone lights up with.

Shane’s head drops into his hands, the phone pressing against his face. AJ’s in the same building, in a room here somewhere, and he maybe wants Shane to kiss him again. And more. Suddenly, Shane feels like the luckiest man in the world, being told ‘perhaps’.

‘Then come and be with me’

He drops the phone again and folds his hands together, pushing them against his face, like he’s praying. Maybe he is praying. When the response comes, he’s confused at first.

‘remember the 1st time’

AJ wants to reminisce... Shane can do that – he likes thinking about that day. Not the arguments before or after, but the complete honesty between them in the middle. Being allowed to touch the other man the way he’d wanted to for so long; to love him.  

AJ texts again, straight away: ‘i was so scared but so happy’

That makes Shane smile.

‘I didn’t think you’d let me near you, I thought I’d messed it all up’

‘you didn’t. I feel so bad all the time shane’

‘You felt good when you were with me?’

AJ keeps him waiting a minute or so, but it feels like longer.

‘yes’

‘So be with me. Not tonight, if you’re not ready. Just don’t push me away anymore. Think about it? Promise me you will?’

Shane’s stomach twists while he waits, hoping AJ will reply.

‘ok’

Thank goodness. Shane falls back onto the bed, holding the phone to his chest and letting out a relieved laugh. He’s got a chance; AJ’s giving him another ‘perhaps’. His phone buzzes again.

‘so... u don’t want to see me 2nite?’

Shane laughs in delight at the flirting starting again. He never thought it would.

‘Nope. I’d rather sleep ;D’

“!!!”

“Think about me tonight?”

Another pause to make Shane worry, the seconds ticking by.

‘i will’

And a beat later:

‘i missed us talking shane’

‘And kissing?’

‘maybe that too’

‘And the rest?’

‘don’t push your luck. Good night shane’

‘Goodnight AJ. I hope you’re wearing those ugly pants you like to wear to sleep in’

He won’t respond to that.

‘wld send u a pic but i don’t want u getting too excited’

Holy crap, he did.

‘You know me so well’

‘stop keepin me awake dang it’

‘You’re keeping *me* awake!’

Another pause, and Shane thinks that might be it for the night.

‘u dont need any beauty sleep u handsome man’

There is no way Shane is going to be able to sleep now, he’s smiling so hard.

‘i shldnt have said that - goodnight shane’

‘Sweet dreams, you sweet man’

‘quit it’

And a moment later...

‘xx’

Shane gets up to turn the light out again, grinning in happiness and relief. He should text his wife to say goodnight, he should. But he forces the thought out of his head along with the guilt.

AJ’s under the same roof as him, and he’s thinking about him. For now, it’s enough.  

***

Shane’s getting to know him. They’re building to their Wrestlemania match months in advance; specific spots to be worked out nearer to the big day, but right now they’re working on their programme by getting comfortable with each other in the ring, talking things out. AJ’s a hard-worker, patient, and Shane enjoys his sense of humour. He likes feeling out AJ’s moves in the ring, sitting on the mat to talk afterwards.

They’re taking another break, gulping down water and quietly talking to each other while others make use of the rings and equipment around them. He trusts AJ, tells him things he probably shouldn’t.

“We don’t get on, actually.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“How come?”

“He... has a lot of ideas I don’t agree with.”

“Like, maybe, booking himself to main-event WrestleMania two years in a row, instead of giving opportunities to other people…”

“Uh, yeah, maybe something like that.”

Shane looks down, talking quietly, quicker than usual. AJ watches him and blinks softly, not rushing him.

“I don’t know,” Shane shrugs. “I don’t think much of his work. And I know I’ve got no right, I know that. I don’t know what it takes to make it in this business as a wrestler, from the bottom, of course I don’t.” AJ swiftly shakes his head and frowns, which Shane shakes off.

“But... that’s just how I feel. No matter how good he is to Steph, I don’t think much of him; never have. I know he doesn’t think much of me, either.”

There’s a companionable silence while AJ looks out over to the training going on in other parts of the centre, seeing no one can hear them. He looks down to scratch at the mat while he talks, hushed, deciding to trade a secret for Shane’s. 

“I don’t like John.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly, like a kid confessing a wrong-doing. “Don’t like ‘im.”   

“I thought he was giving you ‘the matches of your career’...” Shane says, dropping in a quote he’s heard from AJ in numerous interviews.

“Well… the programme went great, don’t get me wrong. And it got me to where I needed to be; I’m grateful for that-”

“No, no, I get it – go on.”

“But…I dunno… him callin’ every match? I worked all over the world before coming here, against some of the best guys around. And, yeah, I know he has, too; I get it. But I have things I can bring to the table. Why’d we always have to work the same style?”

“You mean... you don’t think every match should have at least three AAs in it?”

“Ha!” AJ looks up to catch Shane’s eye in surprise, relieved Shane gets it. They raise their eyebrows at each other and grin, happy to be sharing the secret. “No, I don’t! Plus, do I have to be carried around the ring on the guy’s shoulders at every house show? I carry my kids around like that – do I look like a kid?”

“Well... you kind of do.”

“Shut up, I ain’t that short.”

Shane laughs. “It’s a cute spot, though – the folks in the crowd sure love it.”

“Cute?! Me being carried around like a little baby is cute to you?”

“Well – to everyone! It looks sweet!”

“Oh, cute and sweet, now?! I’m a grown-ass man, Shane – don’t you forget that,” AJ advises with a rougher voice.

“Hmm...” Shane looks him over, appraisingly. ”I think you’ve got a bit more growing to do.”

AJ thumps Shane’s arm indignantly and flashes another grin.

“Whatever, man.”

They should be getting back up to work on their sets; get used to each other’s rhythm, build muscle-memory for the other’s movement. But Shane doesn’t want to get up yet. Doesn’t seem like AJ’s in a hurry to move, either. They catch each other’s eyes again and smile.

“I, uh, won’t hurt you in there, if I can help it,” AJ says hesitantly, gesturing to the ring.

“I know.”

AJ’s looking away and biting at his bottom lip – Shane’s noticed him doing that a lot. Little mannerisms you get to know when you’re working with someone so closely like this. The way AJ smoothes his hair down before he jams his cap on his head. How he walks with his back, really, really straight, as if he can’t bear to lose any inches to the taller people around him. The way he won’t curse, but thinks “motherfreaker” or “freaking” are acceptable alternatives. How much he loves his family. It’s rare Shane feels genuine fondness towards people he works with, the way he’s starting to feel towards AJ.

“Where’s this coming from – think I can’t take what you’ve got?”

AJ softly smiles at Shane’s attempt to move the tone back to teasing, but he’s serious. He takes a deep breath before explaining.

“I remember how you looked at Survivor Series; that bump you took. That was... really bad. This is a big thing for you to do, getting back in the ring again after that. I appreciate it. I really do.”

“You don’t have to appreciate anything – I’m happy to do this. Thank you for working with me. This has been... one of the easiest experiences I’ve had putting a programme together, so far, really.” Shane’s noticed that away from other people, and the easy confidence (almost arrogance) he adopts in groups, AJ doesn’t ever acknowledge compliments. He changes the subject, or starts rubbing his arms, or messing with his hair, scrunching his face up. Which is what he’s doing now.

“Anyway, I’ve taken bigger bumps than that one.”

“You were younger then, Shane. Much younger.”

“Hey, now! Watch it.”

“Old man now – silver fox.” AJ laughs.

“Shut up. But, thank you for calling me a fox – I appreciate that. You’ve got taste, clearly.”

“Well, you pay my bills.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Then, I won’t think you’re a fox anymore,” AJ stretches his arms up over his head, dropping them to huff out, “Anyway, you think Baron is a ‘stud’, apparently, so...”

“I told you I don’t remember saying that – you’re making that up.”

“You said it; I heard ya, Shane – you said it on the aftershow, you know ya did,” AJ explains again patiently, his accent getting thicker. “You said he’s a stud. You’ve never called me a stud. You know I’m still upset about that...”

“Okay, you’re a stud.”

“Thank you,” AJ nods, smirking and taking another gulp of his water.

Shane leans back and lies down on the mat, sweaty back sticking to the plastic. He can feel the heat and sweat coming off of AJ, sitting right next to him in this training gear – loose shorts, T-shirt, and cap. Shane’s used to working out and hanging out with the boys, but he’s always felt the need to impress them, not to be a stuffy office guy. He’s relaxed now, though.

“I heard you yelling at Roman afterwards that night, backstage.”

He has hazy memories of AJ’s gruff voice shouting, amongst all the other yelling voices – remembers seeing him pushing and shoving.

“It wasn’t his fault, you know. These things happen.”

“I know, but... I wouldn’t have let that happen. You’re too easy-going with that stuff, Shane – you have to look after yourself.”

“Stop – I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay; I’ll lay off, I’m not your wife.” AJ scrunches his face up again, thinking. “Your kids looked so strong about it, though; amazing kids.”

“Yeah, really amazing.” Shane smiles in fondness and pride for his children, and AJ smiles too in recognition of the feeling. “They know the business; they’ve pretty much grown up in it, like I did. I’ve tried to keep them away from it, to a degree, but... they’re McMahons. It’s always going to be a part of their lives.’

AJ’s lifted his shirt up to scratch his side where his tattoos are. Shane counts them out of the corner of his eye, noting the slightly mismatched one for his daughter, disappearing into the crease of his skin by his hip.

“I’ve never really been hurt in the ring like that.”

“No?”

“No, I've never been hurt like that; been lucky.” Shane takes in a breath and wonders if he should say it; they’ve never talked about it.  

“I know your lower back's messed up.” AJ tenses up beside him. Shane knows – he’s not stupid. The pain is more than AJ’s talked about, and it’s not something a little yoga or therapy can fix. “I can tell; it’s okay. I've been around you guys my whole life. The way you hold yourself... It hurts, doesn't it?” AJ flicks his eyes to Shane and away, rubbing and then tapping his own arm – another quirk Shane’s noticed.

"Aches all the time," he murmurs, waiting for Shane’s response. Shane’s never seen him with that look on his face – vulnerable. No jokes, no easy arrogance, no good ol’ boy AJ. Shane lifts his hand to touch his back, comfort him, but drops it again. "Well... I’ll treat you gentle, then.” "Ha – you think I can't take it hard anymore, bossman?' AJ turns to him with a flash of teeth, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Hmmph! Well, if hard is how you want it, Mr Jones, then hard is what I'll give you." This joking back and forth is what AJ's comfortable with – Shane’s used to him yelling faux-threats and innuendo like this to him backstage, keeping things light and teasing. It still gives Shane a start sometimes when it gets particularly near the knuckle, though...

AJ shoots Shane a little sly glance of warmth and trust, quirking another smile.  "We're gonna tear this up together, McMahon." "We sure are."

AJ leans in closer over Shane with a conspiratory look. Shane automatically wants to shift away, but he holds himself still on the mat, pulse speeding up and adrenalin going. His body must be used to going into fight mode when AJ’s close, the roughness of their training and drills tricking him. "Trips who, right?" AJ whispers down with another of his soft smiles, moving back again.

Shane lets out a breath, pulse starting to slow back to normal speed. "Now, don't you go saying that around the locker room – you'll get me all amped-up, and I need to concentrate on being gentle with you in the ring, don’t I?" "Ah, screw you, man."

Shane stretches and groans, sitting up. “I guess we better get back to it...”

“Bring your worst – I’ll take it all, Shane.” AJ says with a grin, then flushes a little at his own talk and falters.

Wrestlers are a strange breed, that’s for sure - AJ’s a good one though, Shane smiles to himself. He pulls himself up to his feet and offers his hand to his friend.  

**

AJ’s beating Shane up backstage tonight, it’s all in place. They’ve run through how many hits AJ’s going to get in, how Shane’s going to protect his head and face against the blows, exactly when his head is going to go through the car window, and how hard he should be pushed.

Shane’s used to being pulled and pushed around by AJ during the regular training they’ve been doing, but this is completely different – more opportunities for it to go wrong. There’s been a strange excitement building in Shane’s gut all day, a nervous wait to see if they can pull it off together.

“You ready for this, Shane? I’m gonna give you everything I’ve got, so you just be ready to take it, boy. Because I’m comin’ for you hard,” is the trash-talk AJ’s been throwing at him today. At catering, walking past him in the corridor, Shane popping his head in to make-up.

“Just because I’m sittin’ here gettin’ all prettied up for later, doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass, so don’t you look at me that way, McMahon.”

“Okay, tough guy.”

“You best know I’m a tough guy.”

“Right – less blush though, Amanda; AJ’s looking flushed already.”

“You’ll be lookin’ plenty flushed later, tell you that,” AJ mutters, looking back down at his phone and letting the make-up department do their work.

The ‘fight’, when it happens, is rough, and Shane’s eye starts to swell and bruise from one of the fists he didn’t block. In rehearsal, each slow-motion run through of their moves had ended with AJ patting Shane’s shoulder with a deep ‘That’s good’ or ‘That’s right’. During the actual scene, AJ has to leave Shane on the floor in a heap, getting in a few last kicks before walking away. From the ground, he can see AJ’s eyes look worried when he spots the blood he’s left. He can also see that AJ’s belt has popped open during the struggle. They got caught up and went too far.    

Afterwards, it feels like it had been real. The adrenalin Shane’s body has started to produce too much of whenever AJ is around rushes through him for hours that night, him not being able to stop lines of AJ’s growled dialogue slipping back into his thoughts.

Memories of what him and AJ had said afterwards keep playing back in his head as well...

“You okay, Shane?! Boy, look at that welt – I’m sorry, man!” AJ reaches to hold Shane’s head in his hands after the broadcast, trying to turn it back and forth for a better look.

“It’s nothing,” Shane says, letting AJ hold his head to see. “It looked great on camera – have you seen it yet?”  

“Nah, just... still trying to calm down,” AJ lets Shane go to run his hands through his own hair, pushing out a shuddering breath. He seems antsy, bouncing up and down on his heels, then shaking his arms out.  

“That was intense, right? I mean, it felt like I was really puttin’ my hands on ya,” He steps closer into Shane’s body, looking at him as if he wants to start it all over again. Shane can’t help but feel a corresponding urge to square up. Something about being around AJ now makes him feel like this, always slightly on edge.

AJ seems to realise what he’s doing and makes himself step back, but his eyes are still shining, and his mouth is hanging slightly open.

“I feel nuts right now. You sure you’re okay, Shane?”

“Told you, I can take the hard hits; don’t go soft on me.”

“Ha, no chance of that,” AJ says with a rasping chuckle, running his pointed tongue over his lower lip – Shane’s noticed him doing that a lot now, too.

AJ laughs at himself. “Boy, it’s fun beating you up. I’m so pumped, feels like I could run ten miles now, easy.”

Shane feels the same, like he could run or fight all night. Instead, he tries to stop bearing his teeth at AJ, stop smiling so much. Wanting to crowd into him for some reason, put his hands on him in response. He wants to bite into something, hard.

He breathes and tries to sound normal.

“Probably too late for that, huh – better just head back to the hotel and... do what you can with that energy.”

AJ raises an eyebrow at that, and Shane realises what he’s implied.

“I mean – in the hotel gym! Or, whatever. Whatever you... want to do.”

AJ leans in, still breathing heavily, Shane feeling it on his face. Shane can’t stop himself from letting his lips peel back over his teeth, leaning in, too.

“Now that, bossman, is none of your business, is it?”

Shane nods at the wink AJ sends him before walking off. Then he notices members of the backstage crew watching him watch AJ walk away with a big smile. He quickly drops it.    

**

AJ is killing him now.

What Daniel said last week about the flirting was right, but he’s wrong about the motivation behind it – he must be. AJ doesn’t realise what he’s doing; surely? Their programme is over, Wrestlemania long gone, but they have a friendship now. Their wives and children get on. AJ and Shane have an easy back and forth; they talk about their families, how it’s going on the road, what they want for the future... but they’ve also kept up with the faux-macho posturing, the innuendo, the ribbing.

But is it ribbing when one person can’t stop themselves from thinking about the other? The inappropriate thoughts that keep crowding in? How many times can a person run to the bathroom to calm down, without their loved ones thinking they’re sick?

Maybe Shane is sick. Because he’s locked in a bathroom again and panicking.

Xavier Woods and that stupid, stupid cake. He’d passed Shane in the corridor a moment ago, backstage, covered in cake and frosting. Which is fine – Shane doesn’t ask questions; never does.

But AJ walking up to him a moment later with a fingerful of it and offering it to Shane? He couldn’t have just laughed that off and walked away, could he? Of course not.  

"It's really good McMahon, you should get you some. You want some... right?" AJ’d taunted smugly, holding his finger in front of Shane’s face.

He’d had that look in his eye that he gets when he’s making these jokes with Shane now, the sparkle that looks like pure joy when Shane plays along. “Play this game with me,” his eyes say. But where does he want the game to lead? Since Shane realised what all the adrenalin is down to, why he feels nervous when AJ’s around, he’s started to stop caring where it goes. He just wants to keep AJ looking at him like that. Like they have this secret funny game no one else knows about. "Hmm... it does look good.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“What if I do want some of that?"

AJ had made like he was really thinking about it. “Well, now that’s a real shame, isn’t it? Because this right here is mine,” he’d said with pretend sadness, shaking his head in mock regret and holding the eye-contact. He’d sighed and slapped his leg with his other hand. “So. What’re we gonna do now, Shane?”  The next moment is what Shane wishes he could rewind and stop. Why Shane’s shut in the bathroom and sweating, waiting for a sexual harassment suit to be brought in here and slid under the cubicle door at any moment.

“I’ve got an idea.”

“Oh yeah?”

He’d grabbed AJ’s thick wrist and quickly swooped his head down over AJ’s hand, lightly closing his teeth down to the middle knuckle of the cream-covered forefinger, dragging the cake and frosting into his mouth. "Mmm. Thanks AJ. Tastes pretty good." Tastes pretty good.

Shane hits his head against the wall of the cubicle he’s locked himself in, feeling thrilled and sick at the same time. Shane just had AJ’s finger in his mouth. And he’d really, really liked it.

His panic gets worse as he gets more excited about what he’s just done. AJ flirting, Daniel?! Right. Sexy handsome raspy-voiced straight man AJ flirting with Shane? Yeah, sure. That's as realistic as... a married straight McMahon suddenly realising he wants a male employee in his bed.

Shane’s losing it, he actually is. Is this stress? Some sort of PTSD after Wrestlemania – is he too old for this? Is that what it is? Why's he thinking like this?  He loves his wife – he loves women – he's never looked at a man like that, except... he looked at AJ in the Wrestlemania gear...

A lot. He told himself at the time that he was just trying to figure out if there was underwear underneath, and if it was decent for broadcast, but no. He was looking. Oh shit – even then, he was looking.  He searches their match up on his phone, watching it on silent, again. Yes, again. How many times has he watched this now? Not enough, not enough. AJ looked so good in those tights, he thinks with growing desperation, so firm but soft, and he felt so warm under Shane's hands. And he was so cocky, baiting Shane in front of everyone, the way he's been doing backstage. What an arrogant and sexy man AJ is, Shane finally fully allows himself to think, mind racing. It's like his brain has just switched on after being locked down for way too long, and all the filthy thoughts flood in one by one. Shane liked him baiting him and grinning that cocky grin; he liked it when AJ called him 'boy' and 'kid'. He’d wanted to show him who the 'boy' really was, though – yeah, fucking show AJ real good. Turn him round into the turnbuckle, pull those stretchy tights right down in front of everyone and bite into AJ's firm cheeks, huh? Force his face between them and eat him out until AJ's just a sobbing mess, hanging over the ropes.  Shane grinds the heel of his hand into the crotch of his jeans, and grits his teeth at the feeling. Would AJ like being spanked?, he thinks with desperation. Yes, he would, he would – he'd want Shane to take him over his knee and whale on him. He got stiff when they had that brawl backstage – Shane noticed that; that’s why the belt popped open. AJ had got an erection from roughing Shane up. He'd joked about it, hadn’t he? "I sure do love givin' you a beating, Shane." Fuck – he's hard in an arena toilet and about to jerk himself off while thinking about that, and he doesn’t care anymore. Shane bets AJ wanted to push him down to his knees on the concrete and grind that denim-covered dick on Shane's face, hook one of those thick thumbs into Shane's mouth to open it up; yes. And Shane would clench his jaw shut against it – but he wants it, AJ knows that, doesn't he-

He hears a door creak open. He freezes.

“Anybody in here?”

It’s AJ, sounding breathless and tense – probably in here to throw up and scrub his hand clean. Shane quickly lifts his feet up and tries to make himself as small and quiet as possible, snapping back to the present and feeling shame and panic course through him.

He sees the shadow of AJ walking past his cubicle, sees it shift as he checks under each door for feet. He can hear AJ let out a sigh when he can’t see anyone, and quickly lock himself into the cubicle next to him. Shane really, really doesn’t want to be here now, but he’s trapped.

He can hear AJ breathing, and a thud, like he’s hitting his head against the partition wall. He’s upset. He’s upset by what Shane just did.

“Oh God... oh God...” Shane gently pushes his ear against the cubicle wall to hear him, and it’s almost as though AJ’s whispering directly into his ear. Shane closes his eyes and wishes he could whisper back, apologise for going too far, making him feel bad. He’s been so messed up and selfish – how could he have let this go so far? He takes his hand away from his hardness and bites his lips, hating himself.

“Oh my fucking God... oh God... Please forgive me,” AJ whispers.

Forgive him?

Shane hears AJ’s zipper being tugged down roughly, jeans being pulled open, and then a bitten-off moan and shuffling.

“Oh God, please forgive me, please forgive me for doin’ this...”

AJ’s touching himself, jerking off in the bathroom. Shane feels a flush go through him.

“I want it so bad, I just want to be touched all the time, Lord – I can’t bear it anymore, please help me, just let me cum, just let me make myself cum while thinkin’ of it, just once.”

Shane wants to rip the doors off their hinges and watch – grab, and suck, and bite – but all he can do is fight to stay still and silent while listening to the other man pleasure himself.

AJ continues to quietly talk himself through his orgasm, using Shane’s name a few times – which is the hottest thing he’ll ever hear; that deep voice rasping his name. Shane listens to AJ’s breath catch and the groan when he reaches his peak, the shifting and tensing of his body against the partition keeping them apart. He can smell it, too; a faint scent of chlorine, AJ’s arousal. It turns him on even more – he wants it on his fingers.

“Oh, fuck...” It’s the first time he’s heard AJ curse properly, and it sounds so sinful, but so sorrowful alongside the left-over lust. Shane feels shame to hear it.

AJ’s still breathing so hard against the wall, Shane wonders if he’ll be able to calm himself down. He listens to AJ sniff and swallow a few times, gathering himself – hears him clean himself with tissue paper and zip back up, put himself together again. Washing his hands, the door closing after he leaves.

Shane’s too shocked to finish what he’d started before AJ came in.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 2: Chapter 6

Harry makes a movie while Rori makes some music: May 2016

Word Count: 1.7k

SkyFire 2 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts

Aurora knew she was moping, but she couldn’t help it. Harry looked across at her from where he sat nearby, a smirk lifting the corner of his lips as he watched her.  “Would you stop that?” he asked with a chuckle, drawing his mothers’ attention.

“Leave me alone, H,” Aurora replied, noticing the way that Anne’s gaze flicked between the two of them in confusion.

“What am I missing?” she asked her son.

“She’s mad at me,” Harry explained, looking not at all put out by the fact.

“I’m not mad,” Aurora argued. “I’m in mourning.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Harry laughed.

She rolled her eyes at him, remembering the conversation that had that had led them to now.

“Love, you know how I went to London a few months back to audition for that movie?” Harry had asked her. “I got it.”  

“Really?” Aurora had cheered, throwing herself into his arms and hugging him tightly. “OMG! Harry I’m so proud of you.” She’d placed kissed all over his face before settling on his lips. “You’ll be fantastic.” 

“I’ve got to cut my hair,” he told her. Her face had fallen, the fingers of her right hand instantly moving to his long curls to tangle in them.  

“But I love your hair,” she had pouted. “How short does it need to go?” 

“Military short.”  

She let go of him, stepping backwards. “I hate this.”  

“I’m sorry love,” he’s replied softly. “It’ll grow back.”  

Now there she was, watching on as a hairdresser straightened out his hair, pulling it tightly back to the nape of his neck, scissors in hand. He laughed when Aurora winced, turning her head so she didn’t watch.

“It’s just hair,” he reminded her.

“Yeah and now it’s gone,” she sniped.

Anne chuckled as the pair continued to bicker while the haircut continued. When it was all over Harry took some photos of the ponytail and then he took his mum and fiancé out for lunch, hoping to snap Aurora out of her depressing mood by taking them to her favourite sushi bar.

xXx

Harry left for France a few weeks later, leaving Aurora in New York. She put on a brave face until he was out the door and on the plane, and then she hid herself away in her room. She felt ridiculous for being so dependant on him; the majority of their relationship had been long distance, but she had gotten so used to him being there every day since Christmas, that the idea of being separated for months was heartbreaking. Steve knocked on her door the evening after Harry left, letting himself in and sitting down beside where she was curled up on the bed.

“You feel like talking about it?” he asked softly.

“Not really,” Aurora mumbled.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“No,” she replied.

“He’ll be back before you know it,” Steve promised, laying down to wrap his arms around her.

“It’s not just Harry being gone,” Aurora explained, curling into his side. “I should have been graduating next week.”

“Ever think about going back?”

“I don’t think I can. Just the thought of being back there has me shaking.”

“That’s ok,” Steve said. “I know Dad made a big deal about you going to college, but you don’t exactly need the degree.”

“Just feel like I failed though,” Aurora admitted. “I guess I’ve never really said that out loud, but I do. I feel like I was so close to finishing and that I’m always going to be a college dropout now.”

“You’re not a failure, bug,” Steve replied. “You have overcome so much, and you should be so damn proud of that. I know I am and so is your dad. You’ve got nothing to feel ashamed about. You’ve got your art and your music, and you don’t need a piece of paper to be successful and happy.”

“Thanks Pops,” she murmured, burying her face into his chest. “I’m so glad I have you and Dad.”

“Always,” Steve promised, “for anything you need.”

xXx

It was only after Harry left for France that Aurora realized how much she had enjoyed being back in the studio making music and now that he and his new band were gone, she missed it. She tried for an afternoon to work on her own but found the entire process too frustrating and ended up texting Mark to help find a solution

◊Aurora: hey can you find me a writing partner? I’m feeling inspired but need an extra hand both physically and metaphorically.

◊Mark: I’ll get right on it. Anyone in mind?

◊Aurora: no clue but I feel like you know me well enough to know who I’d vibe with.

2 days later she received a text from someone unexpected.

◊Niall: Hey babe, I hear you’re looking for a writing partner which is perfect because I’m not sure if you heard, but my band is on a break and I have a LOT of free time on my hands. What do you say I come hang out with ya for a bit?

◊Aurora: I’d really like that Ni and I’m pretty sure my dads will stop watching me every second of every day if you come stay with us for a bit.

◊Niall: consider me on the next flight… or at some point in the next few days, let’s be realistic.

xXx

True to his word, Niall arrived a few days later and the pair spent the day catching up on everything they’d missed since last seeing each other 4 months ago. Niall had been spending some much needed time back in Ireland with his family, but he had been excited when Mark reached out looking for someone to work with Aurora. They made their way down to the studio the second day of his stay and started kicking around ideas. For the most part, Aurora set herself up on the sofa, humming melodies and throwing out lyrics while Niall pulled out his guitar to accompany her.

After a few days of goofing around and not really coming up with anything either of them liked, Niall caught Rori’s eyes flicking to the grand piano in the corner of the room. “You miss playing?” he asked her.

“All the time,” she sighed. “I’ll get back to it eventually. Dad and Peter have already started work on a protype prosthetic and once I’m healed up, I can start getting it fitted.”

“I’ve never known you to be very patient,” Niall pointed out.

“Yeah it’s something knew I’m trying out,” she chuckled. “Some days I’m better at it than others. Just keep reminding myself that a few months is better than never.”

“Wanna try something?” he asked, holding out his hand for her. She took it, letting him pull her to her feet and lead her towards the piano.

“Ni…” she began to protest.

“Shut up,” he interrupted. “Just sit down.” She shook her head but did as he said, the fingers of her right hand automatically laying across the familiar keys. “You remember the notes for Night Changes?”

“Of course I do, but I can’t play Niall.”

“Just trust me,” he replied, nudging her side with his elbow where he sat next to her on the bench. “Play.”

She bit back any further argument and started playing the familiar notes. It was one of her favourites which was probably why he’d suggested it. Her eyes were trained on the ivory keys in front of her, so at first, she didn’t notice when his own hand lifted towards the piano, playing the left hand of the song. She smiled as he joined her, the timing slightly off until they found the right rhythm and then they both picked up the lyrics together. Her grin only grew as they sang, his right arm slung around her shoulder as they played together. As they reached the end of the song Aurora turned to hug her friend, unable to put into words how it felt to finally be getting back to the person she’d always been.

They spent the rest of the day at the piano, playing some of their favourites and just having fun. They lost track of time and as it neared dinner time, Steve came down to let everyone know food was on the table. Despite the fact that Tony told him time and time again that he could just have JARVIS let them know, he liked coming downstairs to get everyone, to which Tony would always mumble something about him being old fashioned and stuck in the 40s. He went to the recording studio first, opening the door slowly, not wanting to interrupt if they were in the middle of something. He paused in the doorway, a soft smile on his face as he watched the pair at the piano, his heart bursting with love at the way Aurora’s head was thrown back in a fit of laughter. Steve quickly left the room before either of them noticed him and he walked across the hall to the workshop where his husband and Peter were working away. “Tony,” he said when he entered the room, “drop whatever you’re doing. You need to come see this.”

Tony and Peter followed him back across the hall and all three of them watched on silently as Niall and Aurora played and sang. Steve wrapped his arms around Tony as the shorter man lent his head against his husband’s chest, both smiling brightly at their daughter’s joy. Peter snuck his phone out of his pocket, filming the two of them performing a terrible cover of Bye, Bye, Bye, having too much fun to be focusing on singing well. When the song finished, Niall caught sight of their audience over his shoulder, nudging Aurora with his elbow and drawing her attention to her parents and Peter standing in the doorway.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Steve said when the pair spotted them. “Just came down to tell you dinner’s ready and got caught up in the concert.”

Rori was still smiling as she stood up and walked across the room. Tony hugged her tightly when she reached him. “Good to see you at the piano again kiddo,” he murmured against her ear.

“Honestly felt so incredible,” she replied, smiling brightly as Tony threw his arm around her shoulder, leading her out of the room towards the elevator.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[brianmalulekeot-blog]

A COMMUNITY ACCESSED IS A COMMUNITY BETTER DEFINED

In the beginning of this block I asked myself, ‘what is a real community is and what it mean to be part of a community. As I approached a new context and new group of people I had to be part of for the next six weeks, Anxiety and fear struck me when I looked back at the history of this new community that I will now be part of for the next few weeks. The Oxford online dictionary described a community according to location as a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common. But the definition was just not enough to calm me down

I was then privileged to be part of a community which had no idea what OT was, and if they did, it was only a few who had accessed hospital appointments. The geographic structure was very interesting, with uneven terrain, no proper housing, illegal electricity connection on the ground. They just dare you to watch your steps, you wouldn’t get lost every corner had a unique feature to recall. It’s an informal setting with a lot of improper built material that compromises safety and health, but who cares as long they have a place to hide their heads. After long walks in it you are rewarded by water from communal taps which are a little far apart. With no proper sanitation except the hole ones. You would just want take a taxi but the rank its just too small and to shady looked like a carwash.

The community I am waking in is troubled with social issues such as poverty, teenage pregnancy, improper housing, abuse, low employment rate and drugs just to name a few. These factors then make it difficult for the environment to flourish. According to an article by Jim Cavaye on Understanding Community Development, it is described as a process where local people can not only create more jobs, income and infrastructure, but also help their community become fundamentally better able to manage change. Infrastructure and provision of health care are fundamental in the development of a community and helping it flourish, and yes with access to schools, community halls, running water, electricity, housing and clinics for better health care services such as immunization, disease prevention and family planning, one can argue that community development is presently strong. 

Numerous people and varied services promote the welfare of local communities. Structures/systems in place by the government play a larger role in the physical development of communities. This has not been evident in my current community due to lack of  improvements in infrastructure and health care provided in the community, they haven’t alleviated the impact of apartheid on the lives of these community members with this being evident in their low socio-economic status. Government needs to develop a multiple response to the changing situation of communities. A response that not only improves the delivery of services and adjusts policy but also includes a greater government role in helping communities build their capacity to manage change(Cavaye, 2015). 

The setting is of uniqueness, not like the basic housings we would find in a decent township that has street lights, running water, paved roads, proper housing, registered local stores owww and proper sanitation you would have to stress of a spider having to rush out as you help yourself. It does not possess a structure where it is organised or with set roads and physical addresses. But ask where mam mkhize stay, they wouldn’t hesitate but to show you where the shack is. As much as the current community is deprived of certain services. Except that blue shower container you had to wait 3 hours before a decent shower. They also do present with qualities that define them, values that makes them unique and have those common characteristics that makes them a community, which am still intrigued to explore

An article by Kristina Grage Ricketts on The Importance of Community Leadership to Successful Communities argues that in areas such as public education and job training, technology, networking with state and regional agencies, health care, leadership and strategic planning, communities are learning that community development is not the responsibility of any one group, but a community-wide effort. Which in this setting is evident by community leaders that are very commented, it is within a Faith Based setting where religious leaders ensures its smooth running and bring flourishness, although its affected by racial issues as well as religious barriers, that’s an a international issues right, if not I guess you living in the ancient times. 

It is imperative, in my opinion, to form the basis of a community on religion because that governs the individual personally by values that religion instilled in an individual. I have identified more than one member of the community centre that is part of a local church within the community. These people are already in place working with young people to pass down religious values that govern them to act differently and with positive attitude when compared to other community members that are not part of any religious group. Dan McKanan says that, ‘‘strength for the struggle ultimately comes from the sense of identity that people gain when they are bound together in community’’.  

In my argument I would say that people are more than their needs & struggles and are to be treated in a way that reflects their inner potential (Canonico, 2014). To flourish is to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way (oxford online dictionary). Improved living conditions, improvement of employment rate, decrease in drug abuse amongst youth and overall improved socio economic status would then really tackle the issue of development of a community. Engagement in culturally and developmentally appropriate occupation/activities and improving the skills of everyday living and participation from an Occupational Therapy perspective would improve or develop the person therefore developing the community as a whole. It is therefore imperative that health care services are provided to the current community. It will be challenging to work within this context but I have found new hope for this community through the people I meet every day in community and excited to leave a mark as an OT oww the first one in the community, how great does that sound, if not cool enough I might as well have to put u in a freezer

References Anon, (2018). [online] Available at: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/community [Accessed 18 Jul. 2018]. Canonico, L. (2014). Chapter 6: Principles of Community Development. [online] prezi.com. Available at: https://prezi.com/h2xjjc17xsaq/chapter-6-principles-of-community-development/ [Accessed 18 Jul. 2018]. Cavaye, J. (2015). The Role of Government in Community Capacity Building. [ebook] Queensland, Australia: Department of Primary Industries, pp.4-5. Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/239919315_The_Role_of_Government_in_Community_Capacity_Building?enrichId=rgreq-cb623dbba7ce4c2370f61cecf3b996cb-XXX&enrichSource=Y292ZXJQYWdlOzIzOTkxOTMxNTtBUzozMDAyOTA3MzA0MTQwODFAMTQ0ODYwNjI5NzI0MA%3D%3D&el=1_x_3&_esc=publicationCoverPdf [Accessed 19 Jul. 2018]. McKanan, D. (2010). How Religion Strengthens Community | Chats, Up For Discussion | Zócalo Public Square. [online] Zócalo Public Square. Available at: http://www.zocalopublicsquare.org/2010/10/19/how-religion-strengthens-community/ideas/up-for-discussion/ [Accessed 19 Jul. 2018]. https://www.google.com/search?biw=661&bih=666&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=kv9vXPaLFcysa8yMpMAD&q=kenville+cOMMUNITY&oq=kenville+cOMMUNITY&gs_l=img.3...2537.10162..10750...0.0..0.387.4353.2-2j11......1....1..gws-wiz-img.......35i39j0i24j0i10i24.H-g2t_vqoRI#imgrc=Hk89qRrVvpSGpM