#i hope everyone stays warm as the days get colder!

[teamunee]

bird cage

[marblerose-rue]

basking in moonlight

[myfictionaldreams]

Winter Soup // Mafia!Stucky x F!Reader

Summary: There was no better feeling than a bowl of hot soup when you're feeling unwell and, what's even better is when it's delivered to your door every day by your new guard. It tasted amazing and you could always trust everyone in the Mafia... right?

Requested by: @senjoritanana​​ thank you so much, I hope you enjoy all the angst!

A/N: PSA I don't know the specifics of how poisons work and didn't want to risk it on my google history lmao so please ignore any inaccuracies. Please read the tags if you're affected by near death experiences, please proceed with caution and if I've missed any tags/warnings, please let me know!

Warnings/Tags: 18+ readers only, hints of smut, angst (LOTS BUCKLE UP), fluff, polyamory relationship, poisoning, blood and injury, anxiety, crying, begging, near death expierences, reader is injured, pain, emotional hurt/comfort, hospitalization, protective Steve Bucky and Sam, everyone needs a hug tbh

Words: 7.7k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

The warmer months were slowly starting to shift into winter and for some reason this year, the weather change was beginning to affect your health. You’d heard of the phrase ‘seasonal depression’ but you were convinced that it was due to the cooler weather that was making you feel this rubbish.

It had been happening for a week now, and some days you’d feel fine, normal in fact but then others your chest felt so tight as if an elephant was sitting on top of you, nausea, vertigo and heart palpations that would have you clutching your chest with fear you might explode. With each passing day, you would be praying for the summer months to return, especially as the snow and ice increased with intensity outside of your home.

You were fine for the most part, good days and bad; yes you might be getting worse with each passing day but you were adamant that the seasonal illness would pass. However, the frosty weather was also a minor blessing because it was your excuse to stay home and be a pretty housewife for Steve and Bucky. Being able to stay home made it easier to keep the illness to yourself as well, it was a busy time within the Rogers mafia and you didn’t need them wasting their time fretting over your wellness when they had a lot of other things to do. They had many international deals that were so close to being signed for and contracted that every waking hour was spent at the office, on phone calls, and emails, trying to talk to locals across the world to attend meetings on their behalf so the boys were thoroughly busy.

There were a few occasions you’d attended with them to the office if you were feeling particularly needy or lonely but it unnerved you to drive on the snow and ice so when you suggested that you might stay at home, Steve and Bucky offered no complaints.

At home at least you were able to mop about, trying to perk yourself up with movies, pyjamas and your favourite bowl of warm soup. Over the last few months, you’d been trying to improve your cooking skills, especially to impress Steve who usually cooked for three of you. This became more interesting as the colder months drew in over Brooklyn as this meant you could cook more homely, hearty foods such as soups and stews, especially as you had recipe suggestions from the newly hired grounds guard Rafael.

He’d been recommended by a friend of a friend for Steve to hire which was perfect timing because the last grounds guard had retired. There were a few occasions when he was the guard to bring the post to the front door from the front gate and you soon found he was enthusiastic and easy to talk to, even though he was a little bit older, which was how you found out he had previously been a chef and offered to give you recipe ideas. As winter drew in, Rafael began turning up when he knew you were by yourself to deliver some of his momma’s family recipe soups, hoping that the meal would perk you up which it did, they tasted so delicious that you were secretly hoping he would keep bringing them to you, especially as you continued to feel unwell.

“What is it today?”, you asked voice full of hope and trying to sound as upbeat as possible. Even though you were desperately holding onto the door handle as your head was spinning and scared you’d fall over.

“Potato and leek soup and they’re all grown in my back yard so hopefully you’ll love it even more than usual”, Rafael smiled as he handed over the container, his smile broad and causing the aged creases at the corner of his eyes to deepen.

Gleefully you accepted the soup, opening the lid slightly to smell the delicious meal, your stomach grumbling with hunger. Your appetite had reduced significantly over the last few days due to always feeling nauseous however it seemed the only thing that you could stomach was his delicious meals and therefore his arrival was always welcomed.

“Thank you so much! Please will you let me pay you this time? You’re being way too kind to me, always giving me free meals, you’re going above and beyond a usual guard”, you pleaded whilst also having to return holding onto the door handle as it felt like the ground was moving with your dizziness.

Rafael held up his hands and shook his head, taking a step back, “Absolutely not! Just wanted to give you something to make you feel better and make the fairies go away”.

The guard halted, a look of embarrassment passing out his features as he realised what he just said, especially as you asked, “Fairies?”

He awkwardly looked down at his shoes, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to explain, “Yeah it’s just something my momma use to say. If we were feeling unwell, it’s because the fairies had crept into our stomachs and were being naughty and making us ill and now I’ve said it out loud to another person I’ve realised how insane that sounds so I’m going to stop talking”.

You squeezed your lips together to try and contain your laughter but that lasted a moment before you were both laughing which only turned into you losing your balance against the door and swaying to keep yourself upright. The laughter died in Rafael’s eyes as he reached out to you, “Woah, you ok, Ma’am?”

Quickly brushing him off, you took a step back into your home, trying to ask nonchalantly about the situation, “Yeah sorry, probably just the fairies pushing me over”. Your joke didn’t seem to comfort him in any way as he continued to look uneased by your appearance.

Thankfully Rafael didn’t push the situation any further, seeing that you wanted to escape back into the comfort of your home, he took his step back with a simple smile. “Get back inside before you catch another cold from this snow. Eat the soup whilst it’s still warm and I’ll be back tomorrow to hear the verdict on the taste.”

“Thank you Rafael! Enjoy the rest of your day!”. You waved him off and rushed to slam the door, sliding down to the floor against the wood, losing all energy that you’d built that morning just for that one conversation. Ok yes, you were feeling sorry for yourself as you tried to catch your breath, heart pounding violently in your chest that it also echoed in your ears and your vision was still seeing double of everything.

However your stomach continued to gurgle with hunger so without wasting any more energy, you opened the lid and ate the entire contents then and there. Releasing a satisfied sigh at the delicious meal, you took another couple of minutes to gather your senses before dragging yourself over to the living room, collapsing onto your back on the couch and letting sleep take you into a dreamless realm.

A violent shake of your shoulders by a hard grip on your shoulder was what startled you awake as Sam’s voice then surrounded you as he shouted, “Hey! Wake up!”.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever been close to hating you Sam Wilson”, you croaked before coughs shattered your chest, rocking your body as you tried to sit up and suck in any air between the painful coughs. Finally, you calmed down enough to collapse back against the decorative cushions of the couch and open your eyes to look at the three Sam’s that hovered over you. After a couple more blinks, they merged into one, very distressed-looking bodyguard, eyebrows knitted together and jaw muscle clenched harshly.

Sam reached towards your face, pressing against your cheek in concern, “Why didn’t you tell me you were ill?”

“What? I’m not ill, I’m just tired, can’t a girl nap around here?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow, trying to look as relaxed as possible. 

The man didn’t look convinced as he sat on the edge of the couch next to you. Releasing a heavy sigh which only twinged something in your chest that made you want to cough but you refrained from doing so as you emphasised, “Sam seriously, I’m fine”.

Sam gave you another serious glance, eyes hardening as he explained, “You didn’t sound fine, you were wheezing so hard in your sleep I thought you were going to stop breathing”.

There was no denying the panic that filled your heart and would explain the tightened feeling in your chest but you tried to not let the fear show on your face as you rolled your eyes, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

“I appreciate your concern Sam, but I feel ok, I’m just tired, I was probably just sleeping in a weird position and look, no wheeze now!” Taking a deep breath to show there was no more noise coming from your chest, however, it didn’t seem to comfort him in any way.

“Yeah well you’re still looking peaky and why are you so tired all the time recently, you’re never usually like this”.

“It’s probably just the cold weather or something. If I start to feel unwell, you know I’d tell you. I’m a big baby when I’m ill, you’ll be the first to know”. Sam looked to be contemplating believing you and all you were silently begging for was that he didn’t call Steve and Bucky, they just didn’t need this stress right now. Even though it was in his contract to call them at any sign of injury or illness but as Sam looked at you, other than looking tired, you seemed to be fine and still joking with him. Finally, he gave you a simple nod and you couldn't hold back the thankful sigh. “Do you mind if I go back to sleep for a little while longer or do you need me for anything?”

“You’ve been sleeping a lot recently”, he stated his earlier point again.

“What, so I’m not allowed to nap now?” you teased him with a subtle smile, hoping to crack his worried exterior. It only half worked as he shook his head to himself, standing up and pulling the fluffy blanket that had been left behind you on the couch and throwing it over your body. Before you could even thank him though, sleep had stolen you back into its resting state. 

Sleeping for a few more hours, Sam was nowhere to be seen but he usually liked to check the perimeter ever so often and speak to the other guards so you weren’t worried about his whereabouts. As you shuffled to the kitchen, you couldn’t tell if you felt any worse or better after all the sleeping, haven’t wasted another day feeling sorry for yourself, you tried to snap out of it by glancing through the refrigerator and cupboards and deciding to ssurpriseSteve and Bucky with a romantic meal.

The house was soon filled with delicious scents of sweet and savoury as you’d baked and were in the process of cooking their dinner. You were in your own little world and had only stumbled a handful of times with dizziness and the headache that was building was currently mild in comparison to others you had, it was fine you determined to yourself

Still lost in your own thoughts, you hadn’t even heard the front door open as you were suddenly enveloped by a muscular chest and arms, a smile aching your cheeks as you nuzzled back into Steve’s body. His lips danced over your cheek and down your neck as he held you close, the roughness of his beard comforting. “I didn’t hear you come in”, you commented, turning your head slightly to chase after his lips, sighing deeply in your chest as he held you tighter for a second, hands dipping beneath your shirt at your waist so that he could feel the warmth of your skin.

“I did shout”, he revealed whilst moving back to neck, not to kiss but just to smell you in, his body almost melting into the floor as he felt at home with the familiar scents. “I’ve missed you”, he whispered against your skin.

Goosebumps instantly flooded over your body as you shivered, turning in his arms to hug him properly, your fingers scratching through his hair that was beginning to curl at the ends where he’d allowed it to grow out over the winter months. “I’ve missed you too”, you whispered against his lips, lazily kissing and breathing each other in.

“Come with us tomorrow, I want you to be near me”, he admits with words that were making you cling to him harder.

You wanted to say yes and the word was on the tip of your tongue but then your thoughts drifted to the soup coming. “I’ve got a delivery coming that I can’t miss, I’m sorry”.

“The guards can get the delivery”, he counters.

“It’s fresh soup I want it whilst it’s hot”, an embarrassed smile finds its way to your lips as he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he just enjoyed the moment of the two of you being together.

“Soup? But we could order that to the office if you wanted it, you know that’s no issue”. 

You pout dramatically, hanging off his neck as you whisper with a childish tone, “But it won’t be the soup that I’ve ordered and want”.

Steve rolls his eyes but you know he's being playful, he could never find a reason to be upset with you. Rolling back his shoulders, he stands back to his full height, opening his eyes to cup your cheek with his massive hand but this was when he took you in and a frown dawned on his face just like it had on Sam’s. “Are you feeling ok?” The hand on your cheek moved towards your forehead, expecting to feel a temperature but it felt normal.

“I feel great”, you say with as much cheer in your tone as possible, still holding onto his neck but mostly because another wave of dizziness had rushed through you and you needed some support to stay standing.

Steve didn’t seem convinced, “You just … look a little off”.

You playfully rolled your eyes, similar to how he had just done, “Wow thanks Steve”.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that”.

“I know, I’m joking, I’m fine - really, it's nothing to worry about”. He eyes you and doesn’t fall for your grin so you tried your next trick up your sleeve. Leaning on your tip toes whilst pulling his face closer, you whispered against his lips, “I love you, Stevie”.

The tension momentarily eased from his shoulders as his grip around you tightened, “I love you too”.

“Sorry to interrupt your love fest but I want my own loving”, Bucky broadly announced from the entrance of the kitchen where he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes however as you pulled back from Steve and he could finally see your face, the happiness seeped from his face. “Woah, what happened? Are you ok?”

You gave a frustrated huff, finally releasing Steve’s neck as you pointed in the direction of the decorated table. “Right, both of you go and sit down before I decide you don’t deserve any food for being mean”.

Steve shuffled away first as you continued to cook the food, Bucky looking ashamed as he came over and kissed your cheek but before he could pull away, you quickly captured his lips in a kiss to show you’d been playing before and weren’t upset.

“Why are there only two plates on the table?”  Steve questioned as he took a seat.

Without looking over your shoulder at him, you casually answered, “I’ve already had mine, I wasn’t sure when you were both going to be home and I didn’t want to wait”. They both seemed to accept your lie and you happily sat with them as they ate, asking about how the deals were going. They both seemed to be agreed that they were sure to have contracts signed tomorrow and had even been able to pay off some of the international police so that shipping of the goods could occur. In truth, after the soup, you were not feeling at all remotely hungry and even the smell of the cooked food had turned your stomach over.

A couple of hours later, the three of you were preparing for bed. Steve is in the middle and you are to his right and Bucky is to his left. You and the mafia boss had been kissing deeply for a couple of minutes, his hands beneath your shirt, brushing against your breasts, rough fingertips peaking your nipples as you ground down on his thigh. You were soaked and he could feel the evidence of it as you weren’t wearing any underwear but the longer the touches and kisses went on for, the more you were feeling unwell.

As his teeth tugged on your bottom lip and he began to trail open-mouthed kisses over your jaw and down your throat, you noticed Bucky was doing the same thing but to Steve’s neck from behind. However, there were two Bucky’s instead of one as your vision swayed and it felt as if you were on a water bed with how unsteady you felt. The headache was close to a full-blown migraine as well now which only continued to make you feel nauseous so even though there was nothing more you wanted than to continue where this intimacy was leading but, for once, you had to stop it.

“Wait, just- just one moment”, you pushed against Steve's shoulders at the same time. The blonde's hold on you loosened as he moved his face back to look into your eyes but you’d closed them, trying to hide your face from him and Bucky who had also sat up further to check on you. “I just- sorry I’m tired and I… I’m not sure- sorry.. I don’t think-”.

Steve’s fingers tipped your chin up to look at him as he smiled softly down at you, “If you don’t want to do anything, we don’t have to. If you’re tired then I’ll just hold you close, ok? Please don’t apologise for not wanting any of this”.

You relaxed in his arms, feeling grateful for him but also bad that you could feel how aroused he was against your stomach. “Thank you. I’m just feeling so tired today. Please don’t let me stop you both, continue without me, I just want to go to sleep”.

“You don’t have to give us reasons why you don’t want to do it, baby, we’ll do whatever you want to do. Me and Buck don’t have to fuck if you want to be held, I don’t want you thinking we’re neglecting you”.

Affection and love warmed your heart as you kissed Steve’s lips and then reached over his shoulder to kiss Bucky. “I love you both but seriously please continue, I like watching you both anyway so that’ll satisfy me enough if I’m not asleep by that point anyway”.

They both gave their love back to you with praises and pecks to your face before rolling away from you and beginning their exploration of each other's bodies. You watched with a smile on your face for a couple of moments and your core ached with need but as a burst of pain pounded through your temple, your eyes shut automatically to help ease the pain and from there, they never opened again as sleep took you soon after.

The next morning, your migraine had gone but your entire body felt weak and drained of any energy. Steve and Bucky took one look at you and determined that they’d be working from home, wishing to remain near you but they still needed the comfort of their home office upstairs whereas you remained downstairs, pretending to watch TV.

Somehow, you had continued to hide your seasonal illness, they just thought you still looked peaky. Today was the worst you’d felt so far, even having to use the wall as support whilst walking around the home, silently coughing into cushions so that the boys wouldn’t hear upstairs and this only increased the sharp pain shooting through your chest.

At lunchtime, Sam came over to visit and found you at the table in the kitchen, head lying against the table top as you dipped in and out of sleep. You were too tired to even pretend to joke and thankfully for once he didn’t pester you with being unwell, especially knowing Steve and Bucky were home, he assumed they had seen how bad you were so he just sat next to you at the table, easing his hand under your head so you had some comfort against the hard surface.

Soon after, Rafael knocked on the front door with your soup delivery. Usually h,e would stay at the door, never coming into your home but Sam insisted that he come out of the cold and deliver the soup to you in person.

“Yay!” you croaked, reaching out for the warm container, seeing the soup within and seeing that it was a deep red colour today, possibly tomato.

“I didn’t know you cooked, Rafael”, Sam noted, taking his seat next to yours once more as the new guard stayed standing at the head of the table. Other than Natasha, Sam was the lead of the security and guards and technically Rafael’s boss.

“Oh yeah, he used to be a chef”, you explained to Sam, whilst opening the lid of the container, smelling the delicious food and confirming your theory that it was tomato soup.

“Chef? I didn’t know you worked as a chef”, Sam remarked with a frown, eyeing Rafael with confusion as he’d been the one to complete the job interview and didn’t remember seeing chef on his CV.

Rafael casually shrugged his shoulders, looking somewhat tense at the questioning but still forced a smile to his face to please his boss. “I didn’t think it was relevant to the job, to be honest”.

“We’ll have to get you on the bbq when the weather perks up, maybe that’ll stop the arguments between Steve and Bucky”, Sam mused over the thought.

You tried to chuckle but the exhaustion had you slumping against the table as you mumbled, “I feel like shit”.

Sam tensed next to you, “Maybe we should call a doctor. You know, I’m surprised Steve and Bucky aren’t down here right now looking after you, do they even know how bad you’re feeling today?”

“Wait, they’re both here?” Rafael asked Sam but he ignored him, his focus solely on you.

Once again you’re too tired to think of an answer and shrug your shoulders, turning your head to look up at Rafael, “I think the fairies like me too much”.

“Fairies?”, Sam questions thinking that you’d become delirious.

You smile genuinely to Sam, reaching to tap his shoulder, “Inside joke Sam, keep up”.

There was no further discussion of fairies as more hacking coughs ripped through you. It took a couple of moments and Sam rushed to get you a glass of water before you slumped back against the table in exhaustion.

“Why don’t you have the soup and then see how you’re feeling later? Maybe the rest is all you need”, Rafael suggested, filling the silence with his voice.

You couldn’t see it but Sam gave his employee a scathing look, “Rest is all she’s been doing. I’m calling the doc and then I’m going upstairs to tell Steve and Bucky”.

“Aren’t they busy?” Rafael continued to question Sam. “I’ve heard they’ve got that deal coming up from Italy and France, they might appreciate it if you wait a little bit before calling Doctors”.

Sam’s voice was quiet and stern but you were too tired to notice. “That’s not common knowledge, how do you know that?”.

Massaging your temples with the pounding thuds that hadn’t stopped since your coughing fit, you decided that Rafael was right, usually sleep made you feel better. Reaching for the soup one more, you opened the container as you addressed your bodyguard, “he’s right Sam. I just need today for all the work stuff to be over and then I’ll call the doctor. The boys don’t need any distractions, especially today, one more day isn’t going to kill me”.

Sam didn’t look happy as you began to idly sip on the thick, delicious soup. As you thanked Rafael for the meal, Sam finally looked back to him, his frown deep and unmoving as he asked, “Don’t you have work to do?”

Rafael’s spine straightened, “Oh yeah, right. Sorry, sir” and with that, he left to return to work.

“You don’t have to be so bossy you know, he’s just trying to help”, you tried to reason with Sam.

However, your friend ignored you and moved to hold your hand to pull your attention away from the meal and towards him. “I’m giving you until the evening, wait no- if you get any worse before the evening, I am calling the Doc, no arguments, understand?”

“Yes sir”, you say with a little salute.

Finishing your soup, your boyfriends finally came downstairs and you attempted to straighten your posture and plaster a fake smile on your face. Bucky paused in the entryway, sniffing the air and asking, “What’s that smell, I know it's from somewhere but can’t put my finger on it”.

“Is it my soup?” you say, trying to stand up and act like the floor was spinning beneath you.

“No, it’s not that”, he pondered, still looking around and trying to smell whatever he recognised but couldn’t pick it up again. Steve and Bucky both walked past you, kissing the back of your head as you casually explained that you were going to lie down for a little bit. “Wait, let me come with you-”, Bucky started but you held out your hand to stop him.

“You’ve got a busy time at work and I’ve got Sammy boy here anyway so you two continue with your work and we’ll have a nice evening in, Ok?”

“Yes Ma’am”, he mutters before continuing to make his lunch. It wasn’t often that he listened to your instructions but both men were so busy and overwhelmed with work and the consequences that could come from it all that they were all over the place.

The next hour passed by slowly and you didn’t manage to sleep even for a moment because your symptoms were making you feel so awful. You were wheezing so bad that each breath felt like you were suffocating, your eyes began to roll with how much the room was spinning and a violent tremble rocked through your entire body, you didn’t feel right, something was wrong and it was beginning to scare you.

“Sam?” your voice was nothing more than a rasping whisper but he still was able to hear you from where he had been on the phone with the doctor from across the room, having noticed your deterioration in health. He was kneeling by your side in a couple of broad steps, the phone balancing between his cheek and shoulder as he rested a hand on your temple, feeling your spiked temperature. “I don’t feel good”, you admitted, voice full of terror before more coughs ruptured through your chest, leaving you struggling to breathe.

“Steve! Bucky get down here right now!”

“No… no, I just need to sleep”, the fear had disappeared from your voice as you wished for the exhaustion to take you completely, hoping that in sleep you wouldn't feel the pain destroying your insides.

“Hey! No!  Don’t go t sleep, need you to stay awake for me, Doctor Banner is on his way but you can’t go to sleep”, Sam urgently tapped your face, rousing you from the sleep as Bucky had all but jumped down the entire flight of stairs at the shouting.

“What’s going on- What the fuck? Doll?” he replaced where Sam was so that he could continue to explain to the doctor what was happening.

“I’m just not feeling ok, it’s fine Bucky go back to work”, you were somewhat delirious, still not really opening your eyes but leaning into the coldness from Bucky’s hand as he cupped your face. Bucky looked to Sam for answers, his eyes bright and alert with fury and worry.

When Sam shrugged his shoulders, not having any answer as to why you were suddenly so unwell, Bucky quickly turned back to you and assessed your deteriorating health and noticed just how laboured your breathing had become. As he spoke, it was with surprising gentleness but still held authority, “I need you to take a deep breath for me, honey, I want you to try and fill your lungs with air”.

“I’m trying, it’s just seasonal illness, it’ll be ok”.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky asks, not letting go of your face but just moving in closer.

“It’s just seasonal”, your words began to slur as you became incoherent.

Steve finally descended the stairs with just as much purpose as Bucky as he demanded to know what was going on but Bucky couldn’t answer him as he continued to talk to you and keep you awake. “It’s not seasonal, you’re not breathing properly, it’s not-”. Bucky was leaning so close that he was able to smell your breath and he froze, it looked like he now wasn’t even breathing.

“What is it Bucky?” Steve demanded, kneeling next to him and reaching over to take your hand but also feel your pulse, which only made his own increase with worry.

Bucky leans closer and smells your mouth again, so close that you tried to move away as his nose nudged your lips. “What did you eat?” Bucky asked in a tone that forced your eyes to open with concern.

“Huh? Um just my soup”, you say whilst blinking quickly as he still wouldn’t come into focus.

“Soup? Where is it? Where’s the container?” before you could answer, he was on his feet and running into the kitchen as Steve continued to demand answers from his boyfriend, his hand now moving from your wrist to directly over your heart, continuing to count the beats.

Bucky cursed so violently that it actually made you shrink into the cushions but the movement only made you cough more and chest tighten as you struggled to breathe. He returned to the room, his face a deathly white and green shade as he uttered just one word: “Hemlock”.

There was just one brief second where not a body in the room breathed or even moved, one single second to process the poison that Bucky had spoken, the planet that he only knew about because of his time as the Winter Soldier and using it on his target. The poison that he could now smell on your breath, that originated from your container of soup.

It was Sam to speak first, Sam to snap the two men out of their frozen states as he gave the orders from Doctor Banner who had heard the word over the phone. “We need to get her to a hospital right now”.

Steve picked you up, and his entire body began to tremble with adrenaline and fear as no one even stopped to properly dress for the snow outside, only putting their shoes on before rushing to the car. Sam thankfully was able to use the adrenaline to remain headstrong as he climbed into the driver’s side of the car so that Steve and Bucky could both hold you in the back seats and try and keep you awake.

You were lying with your head in Steve’s lap with your body lying across Bucky’s as they clamped their arms around you as makeshift seatbelts. You had heard the word that Bucky had said and even though you knew what it was, you didn’t want to believe it, even as you continued to feel worse. “It’s not poison, it’s just soup”.

However, those words triggered something within your throat and once more you were coughing so hard that you thought you were going to vomit and cringed as metallic warmth filled your mouth and leaked out of the corner of your lips.

You slumped onto Steve and Bucky, head lulling back but Steve was quick to grab your face, tapping it and forcing you to stay awake, “Baby don’t go to sleep! Please stay awake for me! Stay with us, we’ll be at the hospital soon, I promise”.

You were scared, even though you were half-conscious, you were terrified now realising the severity of the situation, knowing that you were coughing up blood which was now soaking the front of Steve’s shirt and hearing how panicked your boyfriends were only made it worse. Through all the scary, dangerous times in your life, they always remained calm and in control but now they were both frantic and frightened. 

As all three men continued to plead with you to stay awake, you forced yourself to open your eyes, only allowing yourself the luxury of blinking occasionally as you kept looking into Steve’s ocean-blue eyes. With his body and face so close to yours, you used him to ground you in the situation, trying to copy his breathing which had slowed since you’d opened your eyes; ignoring the pain from the breaths and resisting the urges to cough even though blood continued to fill your mouth.

“Am I going to die?” you whisper, not being able to ignore the questions now in the back of your mind anymore.

Steve’s breath hitched for a second before he tried to confidently whisper, “No, you’re not going to die”.

You didn’t believe him, especially as the trip to the hospital was delayed by the snow, every second feeling like it could be your worse, you didn’t want it to end like this.

“I love you.”

“You’re going to be ok, just keep looking at Steve, keep breathing”, Bucky pleaded, squeezing your freezing cold hand.

“Please, just say it back”, your voice was hardly audible anymore as your mouth was so full of blood.

“Stop talking and save your energy for when you’re feeling better”, Bucky tried to keep his composure but you knew he was close to snapping.

Your breaths were wet and laboured, wheezing so violently it rattled and echoed around the car but you still managed to plead, “Say it back-”.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much, please don’t leave me, baby”. Steve snapped first, his eyes were wide, fearful and yet beautiful with how stark the blue was as his eyes filled with tears, leaking down his cheek and into his beard.

You were thankful, for both of them, for everything and you wish you could have told them, wishing that you could have heard Bucky’s own declaration of love and adoration for you but the pounding of your heartbeat became so loud in your head that you couldn’t hear anything anymore.

But you continued to hold on, never once looking away from those pretty eyes of Steve’s as Sam finally screeched to a halt outside of the hospital. Once more, Steve carried you and there was a flurry of people in different coloured scrubs suddenly surrounding you as you were placed onto a cold bed.

One moment you were staring into Steve’s eyes and the next you were looking up at a stranger and the comfort you’d once felt, the thing that was grounding you to life was now gone and you couldn’t find him again, no matter how much you moved on the bed, even as the strangers poked and prodded at your body until you couldn’t deal with it anymore and finally closed your eyes.

Do you ever have those naps where you wake up and forget where you are, or what time or day it is? That was currently how you felt except the added sensation of floating encompassed your body as well. The only sort of normality felt throughout your body was a cool feminine hand stroking across your temple in a soothing, repetitive manner.

Your toes wiggled firstly and then your eyes behind your eyelids and even though you knew who was stroking your forehead, you still croakily asked, “Steve? Bucky?”

“It’s just me Sugar” Natasha sounded calm and peaceful as her fingers didn’t stop with their soothing motions. “The boys are going to be so pissed that you’re awake before they’ve got back”.

You huff and dared to open your eyes, grunting at the brightness of the room but thankfully your eyes adjusted and only one, still, Natasha smiled down at you. Seeing that you weren’t going to vomit or freak out, Natasha sat back in her chair, moving to hold onto your hand to give you some comfort. “You gave us a real scare”.

You thought back to everything that happened, some of it was a blur but most of it still played through your mind like a horror movie that you couldn’t look away from or escape. “Was I really poisoned?”

There was one thing that you appreciated about Natasha and that was her blunt honesty, not one to ever sugarcoat her words, “You were”.

“But… But how? I mean… the soup, Rafael, he wouldn’t-”. You stopped yourself talking, trying to envision all the interactions you’d had with him but only one thing repeated through your thoughts: Don’t trust anyone. That was one of the first rules Steve had taught you. “I don’t understand why? He seemed so nice to me, is his name even Rafael? Was everything a lie?”

“That’s what they’re just finding out. Apparently, the friend of a friend rouse was made up including his credentials, usually, our background checks are very thorough but he had some help to slip through the cracks”.

“Do you know what help he had? Who it was, I mean?”

Natasha for once seemed to think before she spoke which unnerved you, knowing that whoever’s name she spoke next wouldn’t be good news.

The monitor displaying your heartbeat began to beep as it increased with the dread that was settling through your body.

“All signs are currently pointing to Pierce”.

Your eyes closed as you tried to remember how to breathe. You knew about Alexander Pierce. Everyone did. He was ruthless and had plenty of finances and power to pay for his success but not only this, he had been one of the top employees of Hydra and usually in charge of the Winter Soldier. So yes, you all knew a lot about Alexander Pierce and his name was one to send fear through any of those involved in the Rogers mafia, even Steve.

As you opened your eyes again to look at Natasha, you could tell she wanted to tell you more but was holding the information to not panic you further but you needed to know. “Please just tell me whatever it is you’re not telling me”.

“We think he paid this guy to come and spy on Steve and Bbucky and it seems he put his sights on you. Specifically.. Because you’re their biggest weakness and it seemed like everyone knows that”.

Your face warmed with fear and anger, as fear prickled the corner of your eyes, “So what, now I’m not even safe in my own home?”

“That’s not-” Tasha began to lean forward in her seat but another voice cut her off.

“No, you weren’t safe in your own home”. Steve stood at your hospital room door, dressed casually in a black shirt and jeans, looking nothing out of the ordinary but his face was wrath of calm and anger. Your eyes snapped from him to Bucky who had looked just as serious but as your eyes connected with his, the hard lines of his face smoothed out into a weak smile.

The two of them step into the room as Natasha stands, informing everyone that she’d give us some space and guard the door.

You’re trying desperately to keep the tears at bay, to keep them from slipping and cascading down your cheeks, not wanting your boyfriends to feel any more guilt but as you took a deep breath in, a sob erupts through you and you can’t keep the emotions back anymore.

You attempted to hide your face with your hands, even with the added difficulty of having tubes and wires attached to the backs of your hands and the tips of your fingers. The realities of everything that had happened began to destroy any hope that you had. You’d nearly died, in your own home where you were supposed to be most safe.

Steve and Bucky sat on either side of your hospital bed, moving silently as they always did and with careful ease, gently took a hand each and pried them away from your face, stroking away any tears that continued to escape.

“I’m sorry, I just- I don’t know… It’s a lot”, you tried to give reason for your crying, even though it was unnecessary. Bucky tilted your face towards him, his voice was so soft and caring that it nearly made you sob with how careful he was being with you, “Don’t apologise for crying, I tell you this all the time, Doll”.

You offered him a wet giggle, taking a few deep breaths before rambling on with your anxiety, “I bet I look like a right mess right now, I don’t even know how long I’ve been asleep for”.

They let you calm yourself down before Steve praises with his low captivating voice, “You always look beautiful, no matter how much snot is on your face”. He smiles as he manages to make you laugh before he turned serious, “It’s been 5 days, baby”.

Your face drops, “5… I’ve been asleep for 5 days?!”

“You passed out when we arrived and when they could finally stop the bleeding you-”

“Bleeding?” you questioned, remembering you were bleeding from the mouth but it didn’t seem like that much.

“The poison you’d ingested that day was a higher dose and caused internal bleeding. After they were able to stabilise you, they needed to detox you from the poison and make sure your body was healing so it was safe to keep you asleep”.

You tried to process everything that Steve had told you, it felt confusing for you to have been through so much and yet feel such little pain in your body.

As if reading your mind, Bucky once again captivated your attention as he asked, “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”

“No I’m not in any pain but I feel wrong like my body is floating in the water or something”.

“That might be due to the medications that they’ve got you on, they’re pretty strong Sweetheart”, his pet name helped to calm your disorientated mind, clinging on to the familiarity and focusing on the way both of their hands were holding yours and stroking tiny circles in your skin,

“Did you get the answers you wanted, from Rafael, or whatever his name is”.

Steve and Bucky shared a glance between each other but Steve decided to be the one to answer. “We got the answers, it was as Nat was explaining. Pierce wanted someone in the gang, spying and getting as close to us as possible and I guess they somehow managed to weasel their way in and tried to succeed with their plan to hit our weak spot”.

You took a deep breath to try and reduce the rising anxiety in the pit of your stomach before asking tentatively, “So what happens now? With Pierce I mean.”

“That’s a problem for another time, just need you to get better first”, Bucky interjected, lifting your hand to kiss the few fingers that were attached with clips or wires.

You tried to smile at him, wanting him to know how much you appreciate him but the feeling never met your eyes and this seemed to twist something in Steve and Bucky. Both of their demeanours changed, no longer were you looking at just your boyfriends but also the mafia boss and his second in command, mixing business with family.

Bucky began talking first, tone strong and husky, “This isn’t something we are taking likely. Sam’s already spent the last day and a half revisiting everyone’s past, making sure there are no other moles that have slipped through the cracks. No new faces are allowed anywhere near our home or you.”

As he spoke, you managed sure to nod your head and try to squeeze his hand in understanding. Steve shifted in his chair, capturing your attention as he continued the discussion. “You are safe and you should have been safe but we let you down, you were vulnerable when we weren’t there to protect you like we promised we would. We let you down, we broke our promise, we could understand if you didn’t want-”.

“Whatever you’re about to say you better forget about it right now”, you say sternly, heartbeat beginning to race on the monitor again as Steve’s mouth shut quickly with a snap. “The idea of being your weakness has always frightened me but, I could also be your greatest strength. I mean - Look at what you’ve been going just to protect the house, to protect me. I know you feel like you’ve let me down but I don’t feel let down in any way. Yes, of course, what’s happened is scary, especially in our home but I doubt it’ll ever happen again. They can try and tear us apart, they can try, but they won’t break us, they can’t break us. We have to remain on top ok? I always feel safe and trusted when I’,m with you both so please, don’t ever feel like I'm not because I am. I’ll always love you both, I’m not going anywhere”.

You sucked in air greedily after your short speech, the building emotions spilling freely everything you truly believed to the men beside you, not wishing for them to ever feel doubt for the relationship or how you felt.

Looking between them both, your heart sank as you noticed Bucky quickly wipe the corner of his eye. “I thought you said no more tears”, you spoke softly whilst trying to wipe away a stray tear.

“That’s before you decided to swoon me with your speech”, he quipped back, the light returning to his eyes once more as you laughed.

“I love you Bucky”.

“I love you, Doll”, standing from his chair, his metal hand stroked over the side of your face as he captured your lips with his, lingering for a few beautiful seconds before sitting back down.

Steve had lifted your hand during your speech and was kissing your palm and you reached out to stroke his beard, “I love you, Steve”.

He too stood, just as Bucky had but he kissed your forehead first, breathing you in for a moment before doing the same against your lips. “I love you too, so much baby”.

As Steve sat back down, your eyes began to feel heavy, all of the strong emotions exhausted you completely. “Will you both be here when I wake up? Not that I’m complaining about Natasha but she doesn’t spoon me like you both do”.

They both chuckle under their breath before Steve promises, “We aren’t going anywhere, sleep, Sweetheart”.

[prongspoet]

broken hearted | luke castellan.

first time writing for luke, so hope this is okay! tell me what u think in the reblogs i would love to know and get more luke asks!

summary: the curse of cabin 10 makes aphrodite!reader pretend to date her best friend so she doesn't have to cause a heartbreak to her actual crush. even though, at the end of it, she's the only one who had her heart broken. major inspo from this concept.

"You're staring." y/n' best friend, luke castellan, head counselor of the hermes cabin, pointed the fact out, side eying the girl right at his side, after looking at the boy sword training in front of them.

"he's staring back." the aphrodite girl said with a grin. the sunlight bathing her head making it comfortingly warm. luke would know, since he was the one caressing it while she laid down next to him. both of them on the grass, enjoying the late afternoon at camp. "so..."

michael dawson, ares' kid, was, in fact, staring. luke couldn't blame him, the way his best friend looked made everyone pay attention to her. she didn't even had to try. and still, the swordfighting happening in front of them made luke even more sure that mike needed a way so she could notice him. not naturally, but somehow, it worked, since the girl payed attention to him as soon as he started.

"oh well, like mother like daughter, huh. " he continued, in a mocking tone, holding his laugh, raising himself by his elbows, before taking one of his hands to the girl's arm. "your siblings wouldn't be too happy to see the goody two shoes dating an ares' kid, would they?"

"gods, don't fucking say that." she giggled, hiding her face with both of her hands. she went quiet for a second, still staring at the boy. "ares' kid or not.." y/n sighed, pouting slightly. "mike's nicer than the others, he wouldn't deserve to be a guinea pig."

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i have to do.” the girl muttered, with a soft sigh. she couldn't blame her mother, she worshipped aphrodite; her beauty, her power, her knowledge and her actions. that didn't mean that she enjoyed the judgment. the need to make someone else feel miserable just because she could. it wasn't fair. "the first love heart break thing."

"i'm glad i'm not in his shoes, that's for sure." the boy whispered, with a chuckle, still trying to be as quiet as possible. his thumb caressing her arm incessantly. it made her skin burn. in a second, y/n abruptly raised her chin, getting supported by her elbows, getting muffled groan from luke, once it hit his ribs. "what is it?"

"you could be!"

"am i your first love, daisy?" he raised one of his eyebrows, with a mischievous grin stamped on the boys face. the scar in his eye making itself more clear. "you should have told me sooner- ouch!"

"shut up, hero. listen to me!" he knew that tone. and as anyone else who had a single bit of sense, he kept quiet, wanting nothing more to hear her insane idea. "we could pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend." the smile on her delicate face kept getting bigger as she explained her brilliant - yet not completely effective - idea. "i could pretend to break your heart. no one gets hurt, i can stay with mike after is over, and my mom ends up being proud of me!"

the aphrodite girl stared at him expectedly, hoping he would buy her insane plan, hoping he could save her from doing something he never imagined her doing it. luke got quiet for a minute. his eyes were darker than usual. he couldn't stand that. y/n knew her best friend well enough to know that he meant to say something. he never truly did. "you shouldn't be looking for her approval."

"i'm not searching for approval i'm just trying to prove myself.."

"you don't have to prove your devotion to her by doing this." his tone stern, more quiet. colder. "you burn offerings for her every single day. you pray, you're always expressing how incredible she is."

"you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

and suddenly, the idea seemed more appealing than ever. she wasn't using her charmspeak on him. no, luke knew how sugary and sweet y/n's words could be when she wanted to. at that moment, his best friend was just being honest. and even though he could retribute that feeling, luke felt that he needed to do it. just for her.

"yeah," he nodded. defeated. "fine, i'll do it."

"really?" the girl hugged him tight. more excited than ever. "thank you boyfriend!"

"yeah, yeah." he grinned, letting her rest her head on his chest, carefully watching y/n closing her eyes, like nothing else would ever bother her. "just don't be too mean when you dump me."

pretending was easy.

they've always been stuck to each other. having dinner with each other. burning offerings with each other. planning capture the flag with each other. training, swimming, talking, sneaking out to parties. always with one right after the other.

it wasn't supposed to be different, they just had to make it more believable.

"we should be holding hands," y/n pointed out as the couple walked calmly to the main area, where dinner was starting. "silena asked me why we never hold hands if we're dating, so i thought we could make it more..."

"real, yeah." luke nodded, grabbing her hand right the next second she spoke. "c'mon, girlfriend, hurry up." he grinned, and she couldn't help but grin back. "i'm starving."

luke could do that. he could kiss her in front of people, and tell everyone the way they got together. he could hold hands with her, caress her back and almost have a heart attack when she kissed him behind his ear. he could live with that, yeah. it was normal. it was pretending.

until it started to change. suddenly. quickly.

he noticed her. the eyes, the shape of her face, the way her eyebrows moved when she laughed, and the look she gave him every single time she entered a room he was already in, and luke couldn't help but pay attention at her soft hair, how excited she became while looking at pretty flowers, and especially, how her fingers felt against his own scalp when they needed to do some pretending. she was an aphrodite kid after all. y/n was charming. y/n was lovely. y/n was his girlfriend, at least for a while.

and she couldn't help but notice him either. how his scar looked more bright when they. the subtle, yet attentive and gentle way he taught her how to hold a sword, how to train, how to fight. the infuriating way at how he held her chin up slightly, every single time, before sealing his lips against hers.

and for once, neither of them were pretending.

the bonfire started earlier that night, but the couple came to it late; y/n helped one of her sisters who was in a small crises, and her sweet caring boyfriend waited for her by the aphrodite cabin's door, holding her hand as soon as she got out, so they could sit together at one of the logs, full of campers, chartering, telling stories, and enjoying the peacefulness that the simple event emanate.

luke choose one of the back logs for a reason, it was darker, harder to anyone else to see them. even so, as soon as the boy started to leave little pecks at her jaw, he was able to hear some whistles and exclamations. teenagers were gonna be teenagers after all.

"alright," y/n sat upstraight, taking a deep breath before continuing. "you can't do that here."

"i'm just having fun!" the boy said with a mischievous grin. he knew way to well what he was doing. she hoped he would do it forever. the teasing, the almost getting caught made her heart sink every time. "you are my girlfriend after all."

"don't get ahead of yourself, hero." she muttered, grinning at him, before sealing lips with him again. "i still have to break your heart."

"are you sure about that?" he furrowed his eyebrows, pretending to be offended, but getting right back at his job pretty quickly. "i'll just enjoy it until the time comes then."

she laughed, taking her head back so he could have full access to her neck, delicately taking one of her hands to his scalp. and he noticed how much he loved that sound. so much in a way he wished he could bottle it up so he could taste it every time he felt miserable. that wasn't possible. but y/n promised that as long as they were together, he was allowed to make her laugh any time he wanted to, if if meant getting him happy.

that's why it hurt even more when he did what he did.

when he revealed himself to be the traitor.

"come with me."

"i'm sorry, what the hell are you doing?" she cried out, feeling her heart beating faster than ever. "you're not thinking straight. you're not. you're not like this, i-" the words got caught up in her throat. y/n felt like she could pass out at any minute. "i know you luke." her voice was a mere pleading by then, hoping with all her soul he would hear. "you wouldn't do this to me."

"you mean a lot to me, daisy, but this is fucking different."

he was different, and she finally noticed. his eyes darker, his tone stern, and the way he held himself up, like he was prepared for a fight.

y/n would never fight him.

and he would never fight her, right?

and when luke turned his back against her, letting the aphrodite girl caught up with a sob, furrowing her eyebrows, feeling the tears already soaking up her eyes, y/n thought she understood.

maybe aphrodite didn't buy it. and even if she did, she knew it started out with a lie. y/n was playing house. thinking she could be smarter than her mom, she could prove it to everyone else how that curse was a lie, and that nothing would happen to the one that didn't completed it.

but it did happend.

no demigod could ever stand out a god. y/n was no exception.

and she finally understood that.

by the end of the day, y/n went back to her well known cabin, shamefully, missing her radiant aura and pretty smile, hiding a shattered heart in her pocket.

[sopiloveshobi]

Loved you from afar

Yoongi fluff that was in my head for a good few weeks. Inspired by my friend Taeyi. Shy Yoongi, non idol style. 4k words. No warnings. I hope it will make you feel warm and fluffy and head over heels for this Yoon. (didn't read it or spell checked sowwi)

‘I’m here!’ – you waived at the man walking down the mall along the shops towards you. He was holding two cups of coffee to go and a small bag which looked like the kind you would get from a pastry shop. He walked past few other people on the way and made his way to you. He was wearing a pair of shorts and long dark oversized t-shirt, high top converse with white socks sticking out. He smiled widely when he saw you waive. ‘The queue was crazy, I’m really sorry it took so long’ he muttered and handed you the drink. ‘It’s okay Yoongi, I told you it’s mental around this time of the day’ you smiled grateful he went to get lunch for the two of you. ‘Let me just let my boss know I’m going on a break’ you pointed at the inside of the clothing shop you were both standing in front and you disappeared inside for few moments, still holding your coffee. Yoongi nervously looked around, trying to find something to look at whilst waiting for you and he decided to just stare at his own shoes. You came back not long after, poked your head around the corner to see your friend just staring down. It wasn’t anything new to you, as he tends to be a little bit awkward in public. ‘All sorted, ready?’ you surprised him and he glanced at you, smiled and nodded.

Right outside of the mall on the left hand side was small park-ish area. Few swings for kids and benches for the parents. But it was all empty because it looked like everyone disappeared for lunch. The both of you moved towards the area, picked the cleanest bench and sat on it. It was getting colder as the autumn was approaching soon. The sun was still quite high, it just wasn’t giving the same warmth as two weeks ago. You have taken a sip of your drink and closed your eyes, listening to the silence surrounding the two of you.

‘Taehyung wanted to go to the movies later today’ Yoongi muttered kind of towards you but kind of just into the universe.

‘Oh really? What are you going see?’ you got interested right away. You knew Yoongi for years now. It’s been at least 8, maybe coming to be 9 soon? You became friends at school, then you graduated and still were hanging out, both got few part time jobs in the past few years. You also managed to hold a serious adult office job for about three months before you decided to get a degree - part time, which you also decided to abandon few weeks in. It was too stressful and all you wanted to do was to draw. You were really good at it, so you opened a small business on the side selling your digital prints and art you drew on your tablet. But it wasn’t enough to keep you going, hence the part-time job at the mall.

Yoongi always wanted to make music and he was doing it on the side. He was definitely making enough now to not work part time but for some reason when he found out you will be working in the same mall as him (before he decided to quit) he changed his mind and decided to stay. You never really questioned his decisions. During your summer breaks you spent hours together locked in one of your rooms, him making music at the desk and you drawing on your tablet. The perfect combination. Both the artsy types, both quite shy and timid. Not all the time tough, there were multiple crazy stories you could tell your friends. One of the more memorable ones was when the two of you got really drunk after work and you sat in a shopping trolley which he was pushing, while riding his skateboard. Both laughing like two crazy teenagers until the security got rid of you. Yoongi was shy. Very shy. But he was also so warm. He would always cover your with a blanket when you fell asleep and he continued working on his stuff. He would always bring you hot soup when you were ill. Lunch at work was always a must. He really cared. He was also the type to never admit if he ever had feelings for you. If he did, he treasured your friendship more. He could always be around you and catch you when you fall, without ever risking and jeopardising your current relationship. He could love you from afar. Of course he spent nights thinking if your lips would be soft on his, or what would it be like to hold your hand for real, not just for a second when you were wrestling on the bed. What would it be like for you to fall asleep on his shoulder, when you actually intended to put your head there, not just by accident when he was near by and you were too tired to sit straight. His stomach flipped every time you mentioned a date with someone. He was terrified of someone else having you, at the same time he would never stop you. And he was always there when you were broken up with by another guy who didn’t know what he could have. He watched all the silly films with you and devoured half of the tub of ice cream you always liked. He was always the one to peel a tangerine for you, or an orange when they were around. Without asking if you fancy one, he would just do it and hand it over to you.

‘I’m not sure but he wanted me to bring you with. He said he invited the new girl he was seeing and he wanted it to be little bit less official than a date’ Yoongi answered, slightly worried you might get the wrong idea about the entire thing. But it wasn’t the first time you would go to the movies as his +1. Anytime one of his friends needed a double date you two were the go to. Even though you obviously weren’t dating. Obviously to you, not so obviously to Yoongi. Well it was obvious enough but it started getting to him the more he thought on how long you two have been hanging out for. Nearly 9 years. He was a loyal friend, he was a loyal friend to his other friends too it was just the way he was. He brushed through his long dark hair, overgrown from the summer. He looked at you, nervous as always even though he asked you the same question multiple times before.

‘So WE are going? I didn’t really want to go out tonight but..’ you started, desperately trying to get your pastry out of the paper bag that was laying between you and him on the bench.

‘If you don’t want to I will tell him you had other plans’ he quickly jumped to conclusion. He would never want you to do anything that you weren’t comfortable doing.

‘No, no it’s fine. We can go’ you smiled seeing him getting flustered. He held the bag steady for you and you finally managed to get your piece out of the bag. You grabbed the pastry and bit into it right away. Sweet cream and jam inside filled your mouth and you felt better. Less dizzy and shaky. You didn’t have anything else this morning and Yoongi knew it. Because when you asked for lunch you asked for coffee only and he brought food. He knew you too well and he was sure you didn’t have anything else that day.

‘Are you sure? I can go on my own..’ he asked looking at your pretty face devouring the pastry he picked for you. He admired every second of every time spent with you. Your eyes wondering around the sky, which he dreamed of staring for hours at the time.

‘Yes it’s fine, let’s do it. What film?’ you looked at him again, in between bites.

‘I didn’t really ask, let me text him’ he got a little bit nervous, of course he forgot to ask Taehyung about the film, at the end of the day he didn’t really care. He knew he would have a good time because it was with you. ‘Anyway, I will pick you up at 7? I will take my mums car’.

‘Sounds good! And don’t worry we haven’t seen any of the new films anyway, so whatever Tae picked will be fine’. He loved how unproblematic you were. How easy it was for you to just go with the flow. It was easy for you because you knew that it was always a good time with Yoongi. You knew nothing bad will ever happen to you around him. He would always protect you and take care of you. And you loved it about him so much, but you could never admit it. How could you ruin a friendship like this? He was older so in your head he was always treating you like a younger sister. The age gap wasn’t that big, you met at school at the end of the day.

You picked a really flowy dress, the evenings weren’t super cold. Short green platted dress with a cream cardigan because it was an evening and the dress was on thin straps so you were bound to get cold and you promised yourself you won’t get Yoongi to give up his hoodie yet another time for you. You put few bits in your bag: lip balm, pack of tissues, your wallet and your keys and you run out seeing Yoongi approaching in his mums car. You got in and he got immediately flashed with your scent. Sweet but light floral perfume that you have been using for as long as he remembers. Your hair half-up, with the rest flowing down your shoulders. He got stunned. He couldn’t say anything, there was no thoughts in his brain apart from just how beautiful you looked that night.

‘Yoongi? Hello?’ you waved your hands in front of his eyes and he finally shook his head and came back to his senses.

‘Pull yourself together’ he whispered to himself and you heard him say something but you couldn’t make up any of the words.

‘What? Are you okay?’ you asked, but then he looked back at you, smiled and nodded.

‘Ready? You look great’ he complimented. He always said it. No matter what were you wearing and it was true. He loved you in every outfit. No. He was miserable about you in every outfit. Including his hoodie and joggers when you both got soaked that one night running home from the shop. You were perfect to him in everything you wore. Oh how miserable he was about you. And recently it has been becoming more and more impossible to hide it. He would stutter when you would approach him without a notice or he would get stunned just like just did in the car.

‘Let’s go!’ you said enthusiastically and put your hand into a fist and made a really awkward ‘lets’ gesture. He didn’t say a word the entire time to the cinema. Not a word. The music was playing in the background, nothing too crazy, nothing too loud. He was always quiet but he was acting really strange this time. Almost too strange. And when you started thinking about it, he did become different recently. He was more distant, quieter. He wouldn’t come around as much after work anymore. Is he dating someone? That was your first thought but then you declined that idea since he invited you to go and pretend to be double dating with Tae tonight. Surely he would of invited his real date if he had one.

Anyways you made it to the car park behind the cinema, walked inside and stood there for a while trying to localise Taehyung. But he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Not yet anyway.

‘Is he late? Are they late? I mean it’s nothing new for him, but isn’t the film about to start?’ you asked and looked at Yoongi as he was taking his phone out. You watched him text Tae for the 5th time in the span of 20 minutes as you were waiting for him. You turned around and looked at the popcorn machine and went towards it to get some for you and Yoongi. In that time Taehyung sent a message back to Yoongi ‘We are not coming. I will explain later’ is what the messaged said. You came back to him with a giant bucket of popcorn with a smile on your face excited to devour it during the film.

‘Well they are not coming apparently. Do you still want to go and see the film?’ Yoongi locked his phone and put it into his pocket. You looked at the popcorn in your hands and pouted at first because the idea to miss out on all of that crunchy deliciousness made you a little sad.

‘Do you?’ you asked quickly, still staring at the food.

‘Sure why not, we are already here and we got the tickets’ he nodded and took the bucket away from you. It was always like that with him around. You never had to carry anything, you never even have to ask. You never had to ask about the hoodie when you were shivering either. He just knew. He was a little bit excited for the idea of just the two of you in the cinema. All on your own. Last time you both went was few years ago and he was really nervous to just be alone in a dark room like that with you. Even though you spent hours overnight in each others houses. But the cinema was always a strange place that just gave him this one particular feeling. A feeling of a date.

You found the screening room and went inside. The ads have already started as you were waiting for Tae and his date for a while. Yoongi found your seats and lead you to it. There wasn’t a lot of people around anyway, not many people chose to come in on a weekday after all.

The film started uneventful, it was supposed to be a thriller but it doesn’t seem very thrilling at first anyway. You were slowly going through your bucket of popcorn when a huge yawn came out of you. You hid your face in your hands quickly with an apologetic look on your face, staring at Yoongi. He giggled as it made him laugh. The film wasn’t very good and he clearly could tell that you were getting bored too. But you both decided to give it another try and started paying attention again. The film did get better. The story moved at a faster pace and when a random guy popped out of a rubbish bin with a knife you jumped on your seat and your hand intuitively landed on Yoongis. He looked at your hand and froze for a second. You were now holding his hand. Well he was holding your hand. You two were holding hands. He gasped without you noticing but he didn’t pull away. He promised himself to distance himself from you. Give you space to breathe because even he could notice the way he was behaving around you recently. But today, the smell of you in his car, the green dress and the fact that Tae stood you two up made a potion of courage for him. He decided to just go with the flow. It wasn’t like him at all. But he kept wondering what would it be like to hold your hand, and how would your lips fit in his.

You noticed he was looking at your hands but you didn’t pull away either. You didn’t let him see that you saw him looking. What a huge game is being played here. Pretending to not see each other movements or delicate stares. You smirked to yourself and decided to pretend this is not a big deal. It’s just a hand, right? And then another strange thing happened in the film and you squeezed his hand. And all of a sudden he just let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around you. You froze. Yoongi? What the hell is this? He wasn’t looking at you, he just did this and went back to watching the film. But you couldn’t focus anymore, his fresh scent surrounded you. Just like every time you wore his hoodie. It felt so homey and fresh. His warm arm around you. You not moving an inch. You gulped. What is going on? You thought to yourself. He was never like this. He was never this brave, nor forward. But it felt so nice. You didn’t know what to do next. You were so conflicted already overthinking scenarios in your head. What if we won’t like each other like that for very long? What if he will get bored of me? What if…

He saw you having an internal conversation with yourself. He knew you too well and seen it too many times. He wasn’t sure what it was about but he could tell you stopped focusing on the film. Did I fuck up? He thought to himself but he didn’t move an inch. He looked at you again and he saw two round eyes staring right at him. There was nothing else around for him just the pair of your eyes looking at him. He exhaled loudly and looked away for a second. Brushed his hand through his overgrown long dark hair and looked back at you.

And there you were, still staring at him trying to read what was going on in his head. Trying to understand what was going on between the two of you just then and there.

‘Fuck it’ he said very loudly and leaned forward. Where did Yoongi found all of his courage to do all of this neither of you will ever know nor question. Because his nose was touching yours now, his eyes closed and his lips touching yours. And the both of you froze for a second. You didn’t back out but you didn’t kiss him back right away. You were trying to understand the motive behind his arm wrapped around you not beg for a kiss but he clearly read you wrong. Well wrong wasn’t the correct word. He understood you differently. And now his lips were at yours. Your stomach flipped and it felt like 10 thousand butterflies just hatched inside you and try to escape. You could tell he was nervous because his arm that was still wrapped around you was getting a little shaky and heavy. Without thinking too much anymore you started kissing him back and a slow and soft kiss turned into a slightly deeper one and he started grabbing you closer with the wrapped around you arm. You cupped his face with your hand and reciprocated every inch of his kiss. It felt like the both of you were floating above the seats now and nothing else really mattered anymore. The semi good film, the popcorn you had your eyes on for most of the duration of the film.

He finally had the guts to go for it. He didn’t know when was the next time will be, that it will be just the two of you in the cinema which for some reason he had really strong feelings about. It couldn’t be in the car. It also couldn’t be anywhere else. You kept making out until the film finished, without noticing and the lights turned on. Only then Yoongi realised that the film has finished and he let go of you and sat back in his seat. He didn’t say anything, he just smirked and then smiled with one of his gummy smiles to himself.

You got off your chair and looked at him for a second, really shy with flushed face. You were blushing, now that it wasn’t dark around the two of you. He followed, grabbed the rest of the popcorn bucket and took it with him to leave at the bin downstairs. Both of you silent, just moved towards the exit and then towards the exit of the building and straight to Yoongis mums car. No word, not a look not a sight was heard. The silence was deafening and it almost felt like either of you regretted what just happened. Yoongi couldn’t stop overthinking it. He was sure he fucked up. For once he had the guts to act the way he really felt and it all ruined your really long friendship. He just wanted to get you safe home and disappear for few days, give you time to breathe.

‘So…’ you finally opened your mouth as the both of you were standing in front of the car.

‘So..’ he answered looking away from you. Both of his hands in his pockets, playing with his shoe shyly. ‘Listen I know this wasn’t planned..’ he started again. He didn’t have a plan. Again. He didn’t know what he wanted to say. All he wanted to do is to lean you over the car and kiss you again and again. But you were still blushing and looking away from him just now.

‘It’s okay if you regret it’ you interrupted him right away. If? That sounded like you weren’t regretting it. He looked at you for the first time since you left the cinema. You were standing in front of him, pink nose from the wind outside, red cheeks and glary round eyes drilling into him.

‘I don’t..’ he braved it out of himself. He took a step towards you and you froze again. You turned your head to the side almost like asking a question and he took one of his hands out of the pockets of his hoodie and leaned forward towards you. ‘Come here’ he whispered and you took his hand. He pulled you closer and leaned you on the car door. Took few steps towards you, the tip of his nose touching yours. He bit his lip and then looked into your eyes. You gulped so loudly you could hear it. You closed your eyes before he closed his and he smirked and shook his head. Your insides flipped, the butterflies hatched in the second wave and started flustering inside you. You bit the inside of your mouth and patiently waited. But nothing happened. He was just there looking at you with your eyes closed. So you opened one of it and you saw him smiling. Gummy wide smile, eyes in half moons. Pure happiness and you have never seen him like this. ‘If I kiss you again, that will be it you know it?’ he finally managed to get few words out. ‘You will be mine and I won’t let you go’ he added before you had a chance to respond. And you nodded. That’s all you could do. Just nod. So he came closer and this time the both of you closed your eyes at the same time and his lips met yours again. It felt so right, it felt like this is what you have been waiting for, for years. Tears started rolling down your face as he kept kissing you more and more. And then he felt the tears and stopped.

‘Why.. why are you crying? Do you not want to?’ he got instantly worried and regretted being so confident in himself but you shook your head.

‘I didn’t know this was what I was waiting for, for all these years’ you answered and pulled him back to you. His head was spinning. You were his. He was holding you in his arms. He was kissing your lips. Finally. All the worries he always had stopped him from doing this went away. Maybe tomorrow he will think about it and worry about the future but for now. Now he had you and you were his.

‘I loved you from afar for years’ he didn’t think through what he was about to say. Today was the day he was just saying and doing everything he felt like was right. But you didn’t answer, just pulled him closer to you and hid your face in his arms. He hugged you so tight and wrapped his arms around you. And you felt safe. Like there was nothing else in the world that could hurt you. His pocket buzzed and he pulled out his phone to see a message from Taehyung.

'I hope you enjoyed ;)' . The both of you looked at the message and then saw Taehyung in a car parked opposite of you waving and showing his thumbs up.

[jreads]

Not sure if this is where we submit requests, but i’d kill for a fic where reader’s having debilitating anxiety attack in Jackson (like where your vision blacks at the edges and you can’t breathe) and suddenly a strong force is keeping you up and you look up and it’s Joel; and he’s concerned bc he relates (but you don’t know each other) and you take a fistful of his shirt and suddenly they feel the symptoms retreating - and that’s how you meet, and you’ve found comfort in each other since. :’)

Sorry if that made no sense it’s word vomit LOL

Also sidebar: unexpected constellations will stay w me forever thank you:’)

Of Memories and Mealtimes (Joel Miller x F!Reader)

Word count: 2.5K

Warnings: Mentions of blood, Mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, Mentions of death, Foul language

A/N: this prompt was so cute, I hope I did it justice!

It’s been getting colder recently. No snow, not yet, but the breeze has a certain nip to it, blowing burnt orange leaves to rest on the ground like a natural carpet. The days are grey, and the nights are long, and that creeping feeling has been looming ever closer recently. You’ve found solace in the comfort of the kitchen. The air here is warm and humid and smells of frying garlic and onion. You perform repetitive, menial tasks and it staves off—to some extent—the ever-present penetrating feeling of loneliness. 

Since arriving in Jackson, you’ve struggled to find a place, a sense of belonging. You’re coming to the conclusion that maybe you never will. You thought you had one… but that was a while ago. 

It’s selfish to think you’re the only one in this town with a painful past; it’s clear that everyone is trying just as hard to find reasons to get through each day. You’re not alone. But you do feel like it. Often.

Maria has taken pity on you, stationing you in the kitchens because she knows you like it there. Knows you like to watch the people sitting at tables and soak up sounds of laughter in an attempt to steal a moment of second-hand happiness.

It’s late now, pitch black outside, and your shift is almost over. You’re cutting fruits and veggies for omelettes in the morning: spinach, olives, tomatoes. There are maybe five people still sitting, a table of three, one woman at a booth, and a man sitting alone at the bar. Sometimes, you like to eavesdrop.

The trio are talking about their old lives. They seem to have found something in common, street racing. Moding their cars, evading the cops… back when you could just drive into a gas station for petrol.  One used to have an old Charger, stolen in the looting. He reminisces over how the purr of the engine felt, how the lights of the highway would turn to a blur as he accelerated. From the corner of your eye, you see the man from the bar get up to leave, dropping some coin on the counter. You used to like to drive fast too. When it was for leisure and not for survival.

“I’m scared.”

The familiar voice sears through you like a branding iron, bringing with it flashing images of memory. Fuck. No, no, no. Not now. 

The freeway is peppered with stationary cars, and you’re swerving, as fast as humanly possible, trying desperately to navigate the mess. The Jeep behind you is gaining, and the little boy in your passenger seat is rigid in fear. If you can just make it through the overpass, it clears out after that. Their car is good offroad, but yours is faster. You upshift.

There’s gunfire, and your rear window shatters. He screams. You use your right hand to push his head down. He needs to stay low. You’re almost there.

Another gunshot. You try to ignore the popping of the rear tire; try not to think about what it means. The vehicle swerves and you fight against it by correcting the wheel. It’s no use. You clip the side of an abandoned car, and your own flips. You’re thrown through the windscreen. It’s the last thing you remember before your vision goes dark.

There’s pain. But not from the onslaught of old memories. You’ve slipped with the knife in your distraction, cutting a deep line into the side of your thumb. It’s dripping down, coating your fingers in a slick red. Your heart is pounding out of your chest, lungs constricting so hard you can barely get a breath in.

“Could I take five?” you manage to gasp to the other lady. But you don’t even wait for her reply before dropping the knife with a clatter and banging gracelessly through the back service doors. Your vision is blurring, darkening at the edges and your head is spinning. It feels as if you might die. You’re going to die.

Your hand is now coated in blood and—with little thought—you try to brush it off with your right, only succeeding in spreading the scarlet until it’s all you can see.

You wake in a ravine. How long have you been out? There’s pain in your cheek and you reach up to pluck a piece of glass from it. The crash. The kid. Oh, no. Oh, god. You call his name, voice hoarse. No reply. Your legs are too weak to support the weight of your own body, so you scramble up from the ditch, back onto the freeway. The car lies a few meters away on its side. Scraped and destoyed. And beyond it, a small body. No.

You crawl to him, sobbing at the bones bent in unnatural angles. And the bullet wound through his chest. You scream. You wail. His lifeless form is so small in your arms, leaking blood over your palms. You were supposed to protect him. You were supposed to—

His body is going cold. Limp and lifeless. But you can’t let go. Maybe, if you just hold on tight enough, the force of your love can breathe life back into his lungs.

You’re covered in his bood, figuratively, literally, it’s everywhere. Stumbling as if you’re drunk, you cry so hard that the tears only blur your vision further. It’s been a while since you’ve had one this bad. If you could just get back to your house. God, why did it have to happen in public? You can’t see where you’re going, so it’s no surprise when you run into something.

No, someone. There are hands on your shoulders and a comforting voice, gravelly Texan accent. What is he saying? You can’t tell. You’re going to be sick.

Something blocks out the lights of the streetlamp. There’s a body beside you.

A fragile body, broken and empty. Leaking life onto cracked pavement.

No, but this body is warm. Strong and gentle. A calloused palm cradling your head into a broad chest, a steady heartbeat. Alive. This body is alive. You clutch onto the fabric of his shirt with desperate hands, forgetting for a moment that your own blood will stain the fabric. He’s speaking words, low whispers, but the sound of them vibrates through him and into you. He’s telling you to calm down.

But you can’t. How do you tell him you can’t? You’re choking on air, hiccupping in a way that hurts.

“Come on now, breathe with me.” He smells nice, like cedar and whiskey. You can feel him smoothing circles onto your back, the rise and fall of his chest as he inhales and exhales. You try to copy him, lungs spasming with the effort. “That’s it. Keep going.” You’re heaving loud, ugly, uneven breaths, but it’s all you can manage. Past and present are flashing before you, your own blood, someone else’s, unseeing eyes and dead silence, a thumping pulse and soothing voice. It’s getting easier; you’re synchronizing your breaths to his own. But as you lean into the comedown, that exhaustion starts to creep up behind you. You melt into him in relief, but he doesn’t shy away. “There you go. I got you.”

Pieces of your surroundings start to fade back into view. You’re under the awning by the barn, shrouded in shadow. He’s practically holding you up by himself, and you feel a sudden deep stab of embarrassment. You can’t look this stranger in the eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble into his shirt.

He doesn’t loosen his hold. “You got nothing to apologize for.”

“Probably got… blood on your shirt.” It’s taking effort to even form the words.

He laughs lightly and the sound is like warm caramel. “I’ve dealt with worse.”

The nausea is ebbing, but you find you don’t want to leave. Caught in his arms, you feel the safest you’ve felt in a long while.

“You should probably get that finger bandaged.” He steps away, pulling your arm into the light to examine the cut and you almost sob once more at the loss of contact. “I got supplies back at my place, if that’s alright by you?”

“Okay,” you say because you feel too weak to walk back to your own house alone right now. And also because in the glow of the streetlamp, you can see the rugged handsomeness of his face, etched with sweet worry, dark curls interspersed with shots of grey. You’ve seen him before. The man at the bar, so often alone. 

You’re shaking now, visceral, wracking shudders. He sheds his coat and swings it over your shoulders before leading you down the laneway.

His house is not far, a five-minute walk at most. He ushers you up the front porch, opening the door to a dim-lit living area.

“Joel?” A shrill voice calls down from above. 

Joel Miller? This is Joel Miller?

“Yeah Ellie, it’s me.”

A little girl comes bounding down the stairs, dark hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She stops dead when she sees you, noting the jacket around your shoulders, the blood on your hand.

“What happened?” she says, with a kind of fascinated wonder that comes naturally to kids. Oh god, she reminds you of—

“Kitchen accident.” Joel replies smoothly. “You mind getting the med kit, kiddo?”

Her big eyes blink once, twice. “Oh, yeah.” Then she’s running right back up the staircase.

Joel sits you on the couch, grasping your wrist with a tender motion so at odds with all the things you’ve heard about him. Then again, you never knew he had a kid.

“Is she yours?”

He doesn’t look up from your palm. “In the ways that count.”

The girl, Ellie, is back down in record time with a worn first aid kit that she extends to Joel. When he takes it, she looks again at you with blatant curiosity. You feel guilty for barging into the warmth of their home like this.

“Ellie, why don’t you go boil some water for coffee.”

“Can I have hot chocolate?” she asks, and the hopeful joy in her voice is enough to finally make you smile.

Joel does too. “Sure.” And she’s off once more, rounding the corner to where you assume the kitchen lies. “But don’t go putting extra sugar in it,” he calls after her. The soft domesticity makes you ache with loss.

“Well, good news is you won’t be needing stiches.” He pulls an array of supplies from the box: disinfectant, gauze, a bandage. “But you should tell Maria to take you off kitchen schedule for a couple days.”

“How’d you know I was on kitchen schedule?” 

“Lucky guess,” he replies easily, but you swear there’s pink travelling across his cheeks. 

The disinfectant stings and you hiss. He falls into silent work, and you find yourself watching him, trying to understand how the man in front of you is the very same that garnered such a ruthless and cold reputation. 

He breaks the silence first. “I don’t mean to pry but…” Joel fastens the bandage securely around your finger. “…if you want to talk about what happened…”

You don’t. Not now, maybe not ever.

When you don’t reply, he nods his head. “I get it.” You watch him cast a glance toward the sound of a boiling kettle, to where Ellie is. “Trust me, I do.” 

You sit with him and Ellie—quiet with a warm cup of coffee—until late into the night. Ellie makes a face at the smell of it and quips back and forth with Joel about how he can ‘drink that piss.’ The girl has a mouth on her. She’s clever, sharp-witted, and the banter between her and him seems to dig a needle and thread into your gaping heart and sew one single stitch into it.

Past midnight, despite your repeated refusal, Joel insists he walk you home. Seeing your own house, cold and devoid of light makes your shoulders slump and heart race anew. Joel seems to note the behaviour.

“You’re always welcome at ours.” You know you’ll never take him up on the invitation. From the sadness in his eyes, you think he knows it too.

There are miles between you. “Thank you.” He only nods. You leave him standing on the lawn.

From behind the safety of the porch window, you can see that he waits for the light to turn on in your living room before walking back down the street.

Maria has insisted you take a few days off. Damn it. Joel must have said something. You try to busy yourself in the garden instead, but the gloves fit awkwardly over your bandage. You don’t last long anyway. The sound of school children heading home hits your ears around 3:00PM, and within minutes, a small shadow blocks where the sun hits your face.

“What’re you doing?”

Just seeing her face is enough to put a small smile on your own. “I’m planting basil.”

“What’s basil?”

You laugh. Actually laugh. “You want to try some?” You offer her a leaf and she chews it thoughtfully. Gives it an approving face. A thumbs up.

“You should bring some for Joel.” The forwardness of her suggestion is almost shocking, but she seems like the type of kid who says whatever comes to mind. You like that about her. “His cooking is pretty bland.”

Two laughs in one day. This kid is like medicine. “You think so?”

“Mhm. You could come over now. I think he’s on patrol, but he’ll be back soon.”

You think about turning her down, just on reflex. But you like how it feels to laugh, just the way you liked how you had felt in Joel’s arms the other night. So you agree. Her smile is brilliant. 

Minutes later, when she loops her arm through your own, she says, “Hey but don’t tell Joel what I said about his cooking, okay?”

You promise.

Around 7:00PM, he comes through the door, a weary sigh giving him away. “Ellie,” he calls.

“In here!” She’s excited. You’ve prepared a meal: pasta, sundried tomatoes, and the basil plucked from the garden. She’s been picking at the penne with her fingers, unable to wait until he arrives.

Seeing the surprised look on his face when he rounds the corner makes you feel suddenly shy. “I wanted to do something to thank you for last night and, well… Ellie found me in the—”

“Joel, it’s so fucking good.” At this point the muscles in your face are starting to hurt from smiling. 

Over dinner, you actually start to engage in the conversation, and somehow you seem to get along like you’ve known each other for years. In tandem, they work to bring you out of your shell. Your voice is hoarse and face warm by the time you go to leave, but Joel stops you at the door.

“Let me walk you back again.” Your selfish streak is only getting worse. You say yes. You think you see Ellie’s face in the top window as the two of you leave, a devious grin on her face.

Conversation flows on the way, about food, wine, Ellie. It’s comfortable, familiar, but there’s something… 

A yearning, buried under layers of friendly formality. He walks you up your porch and you think, for just a moment, about inviting him inside.

But you’re not quite ready for that just yet. So, you rise up to kiss him on the cheek instead, relishing the stunned look on his face.

Shy again, you back away across the threshold. “Good night, Joel.”

He says it back, and the way your name rolls of his tongue ignites something long dormant within you. You think he might be looking at your lips.

When the door closes, you let out a shuddering breath. And for what seems like the thousandth time that night, you smile.

[d1xonss]

could i request a oneshot where daryl is sick and y/n wants to help take care of him? just super fluffy stuff? thanks😙😙

Chicken Soup for the Soul

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader

✧ Era : Season 9

✧ Pronouns : she/her

✧ Genre : Fluff

✧ Word Count : 2.1k

AN ~ This request is so cute to me :,( I had so much fun writing it. Not much to update on today, but thank you to whoever suggested this! Hope you enjoy!

Alexandria had always been a place full of safety and comfort. With living behind the thick, tall walls and having some of your favorite people living only a few houses away, you absolutely loved the community you were a part of. The only downside now, was the cold months only getting colder.

Every time without fail during this time of year, it would get much colder than what everyone was used to all the time. Normally it would constantly be warm, almost scorching some days because of how harshly the sun baked your skin. But in the first few weeks of the new year, it felt like it was constantly freezing. Granted the temperature usually lingered in the thirties, it was far more frigid than what everyone around here was normally used to.

Which was why currently you were cuddled up on the couch, a fluffy blanket covering your lap and a book in your hands, reading in the dim light of your living room. You occasionally felt the warmth of the fire next to you creep up to provide even more heat whilst you passed the time, waiting for your husband to return home.

He currently was out on a run that had lasted a few days, though he promised he would be home sometime today at the latest. You were a bit weary of him going out in the first place, warning him that this weather was cold and unpleasant, not wanting him to be miserable out there. But he brushed everything off as the typical stubborn man would do, assuring you that he would be just fine and he could handle it. And though you knew he could, it still didn’t stop you from worrying the littlest bit while he was out.

But a sigh of relief passed through your chest as you began to hear the faintness of the familiar rumble of his motorcycle, signaling he had finally returned as he made his way down the streets. A smile spread across your face as you finished up the page you were on, before finding your bookmark and placing it in the spine, setting it off to the side just as you heard the engine of the bike shut off in your driveway. It felt like only a few seconds passed before you finally heard the front door opening, his heavy footsteps trailing inside.

“Hi honey.” you called softly as you swung your legs over the side of the couch, standing up to peer around the corner at him.

He grunted as he removed all the things from around his shoulders, looking up at you with a soft and tired smile, “Hey.” he spoke quietly, trudging over towards your frame to practically melt around you.

Your smile stretched even wider than before as you held him, rubbing his back soothingly as you heard him exhale deeply in relaxation. Just by feeling his tense and sore muscles around you, it was clear to sense how tired he really was, it was even written all over his face. The two of you stayed in each others arms for minutes in just peaceful silence, taking each other in after being apart for far too long.

But according to Daryl, even an hour was too long to be away from you. Meaning these past three days must've have been torture.

“How was the trip?” you asked softly, your voice being the one to break the silence that surrounded you.

He sniffled and cleared his throat as he nodded to confirm everything went fine, “Good.” he spoke, “Gotta couple crates of supplies.”

You hummed, “That’s good to hear…I’m glad you’re home.” you admitted quietly as you held onto him a little bit tighter.

His deep and vibrating laugh shook in his chest as he instantly seemed to agree, “Me too, baby girl.” he said before finishing his sentence with another sniffle.

You paused for a moment as you heard the small and distinct sound for a second time. Now that you really thought about it, he felt a lot warmer to you than usual as you continued to stay wrapped around him. It might’ve just been you reading too much into things, but something seemed a little off.

So you reluctantly pulled away from him then, seeing in his eyes now that he was utterly exhausted, “You okay?”

He nodded slow as you saw him swallow a bit thickly, “Yeah, just…just tired.” he confirmed.

But you weren’t convinced. Before he could process your next moves, you quickly raised the back of your hand up to his forehead to check his temperature. He sighed in defeat as your hand already made contact with his skin, your eyes widening upon feeling Satan's hellfire burning your hand at the simple touch. 

That may have been a little dramatic, but he felt quite warm.

“Honey, you’re burning up.” you said softly as your hand moved down to cradle the side of his face, “Are you sick?”

He scoffed as he opened his mouth to deny it, but instead, he quickly turned his face away and into his elbow to sneeze loudly, the sound practically bouncing off the walls.

Your eyes rolled, “So that’s a yes.”

“I ain’t sick.” he defended roughly as he turned back to face you again, “Maybe yer hand’s just cold.” he tried.

“Uh huh.” you muttered, “Then how do you explain the sniffles and that dramatic ass sneeze?” you asked with a tilted head.

He was silent for a long moment as his gaze stayed on the ground, trying to come up with a good reason other than the obvious. “Allergies?”

You scoffed, “You’re sick.” you concluded as you reached out to tilt his chin up so he would look you in the eye again, “Why don’t you head upstairs and hop in the shower. I’ll get you some medicine and I’ll make-”

“Nah, no, I’ll be just fine. Just need some rest is all.” he interrupted.

You couldn’t help but tilt your head at him a little as you silently knew why he was always so persistent about this kind of thing. Daryl always felt like he had to tough it out his whole life, act as if nothing phased him in the slightest as he carried nearly the weight of the world on his shoulders. The truth was it made him feel weak, asking others for help, having someone else take care of him, he felt he almost didn’t deserve it. 

But you on the other hand knew that he deserved everything and more. Sometimes it just took some reassurance to get him there.

“Sweetie, you are constantly taking care of me. Just let me take care of you.” you spoke sweetly and gently, your tone being enough for him to nearly cave right then and there.

Though he still looked unsure for a few more seconds, not wanting you to go through any trouble as he was capable of taking care of himself. He never wanted to bombard you with his needs as he was perfectly content with giving you everything you wanted, pretty much constantly waiting on you hand and foot. But still to this day for some reason, it felt odd to him receiving the same treatment though you had been doing it for years. You alone felt almost unreal sometimes to him. Like a dream.

But then you whispered one word, one single word that caused him to break. 

“Please?”

It didn’t matter when or how the word was used, but you and Daryl both knew that if you used that word to coax him into something he was prepared to deny, he would always fall apart instead. You had a certain effect on him that he still couldn’t quite describe.

So with that, he sighed heavily as he felt himself sniffle again, “Alright.” he agreed.

You smiled softly and gently grabbed one of his hands to place a kiss on the back of it, “Good. Head on upstairs and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.” you promised.

His face broke out into a lopsided grin when he looked down at you, feeling a bit hazy from the illness he seemed to catch, his knees feeling weaker the longer he stood upright. Yet he still couldn’t help but smile at how unbelievably lucky he had gotten with you.

“Yes ma’am.” he eventually spoke, breaking away from you to slowly head up the long and dreaded staircase, preparing to head for the shower as you suggested.

You on the other hand went straight towards the kitchen, picking through the medicine cupboard before finding the right pill bottle to take up with you. After setting it down on the counter, you grabbed a larger pot and placed it over the stovetop, before rummaging around through the kitchen for ingredients. You planned to make him some chicken soup, one of his favorites when the weather got colder. He could probably inhale three bowls if given the chance.

You cut up the fresh vegetables along with the chicken, adding it all into the pot filled with broth to cook before adding the many noodles as well. You seasoned everything thoroughly and made sure to keep stirring it so it would be perfect, knowing he was probably starving from not only coming back from the long run, but from the sickness he picked up along the way. But once everything was done you placed it all on a tray to take up to your shared bedroom, even adding some water and crackers off to the side.

Stepping up the stairs slowly and carefully, you didn’t hear the water running and only assumed he was done by now as you entered the space carefully. And there he was lying in bed, his eyes closed until he heard the faintness of your movements, peaking them open again and seeing the amount of things you had brought up. It was written all over his face that he thought you did too much, but upon smelling the soup you continued to carry, he said nothing as if he suddenly remembered how hungry he really was.

He licked his lips as he eyed the tray, “Whatcha got?” he asked.

You laughed a little to yourself as you placed it down on his bedside table, “Well, the tylenol is for your fever, and the chicken soup is…for your soul.” you said proudly as you handed him the pill bottle first to take.

He huffed out a laugh, “Smells good.” he complimented as he took the medicine you provided for him along with a swig of water to wash them down.

You sat yourself at the edge of the bed, “Did the shower help at all?” you asked as you raised your hand again towards his forehead, still feeling very hot just as last time.

“A little.” he shrugged, “Still kinda warm though.”

You nodded to yourself as you noticed he was shirtless, the blankets wrapped only around his legs as the rest of him was exposed to the colder air. But you then got another idea that would help, telling him to wait momentarily before you trailed off back to the bathroom. You grabbed a washcloth out of the closet tucked away in the corner before running the material under some cool water, bringing it back to gently place on his forehead.

He sighed at the feeling as his eyes temporarily closed again, only opening once more to look towards you and the things you brought, “Ya did too much.” he commented quietly.

You tilted your head at him, “No I didn’t.” you insisted, “In fact, I didn’t do nearly enough. I want to take care of you, I always do. Please just let me from time to time…okay?”

His tired eyes stared at you for a long moment, before he was slowly nodding his head in agreement, “Okay.”

A smile was brought to your face knowing that it was getting to be easier for him to accept the help, before it was replaced with a teasing smirk as you eyed the soup he had yet to touch. “You want me to feed you?” you joked.

He scoffed, “Nah. Then ya would be doin too much.” he said before leaning over and grabbing the bowl himself.

You laughed a little before nodding your head, “Well, is there anything else you need? Anything at all?” 

He didn’t hesitate as he spoke his next words clearly, “Just you…can ya stay with me?” he asked as if he didn’t already know the answer.

But he did, he knew the answer quite well. Though a part of him just wanted that last bit of reassurance that you wouldn’t leave his side, wanting to hear you say it.

“Of course.” you promised sweetly, leaning over the smallest bit to place a kiss on top of his head, “I’m not going anywhere.”

~ Thanks for reading!

[thelov3lybookworm]

Winter Without You

Summary: Its been fifty years since he left. Being happy no longer feels right, and winter no longer feels like winter without him.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: As a gift to all my babies, your lil santa got a lil busy eatin cookies, so here is a late solstice present 😉

(Also to make up for the awful Rhysie in remember me)

(this is mostly Y/n missing and wallowing in sadness because she misses rhysand, the end is reunion)

(i also know this is kind of a break up song, but the lyrics fit 🤷🏻‍♀️)

•○🌑○•

Every year right around this time People putting up trees and lights And I been thinking that this don't feel right 'Cause I'm without you

Everywhere Y/n looked, she found people smiling, with and without reason.

And she could not blame them, for it was the season to be happy.

The coming of solstice had everyone excited, making the air and aura lighter and brighter, filling it with loving laughter and chatter.

Y/n almost hated herself for tainting it with the darkness and sadness she had been carrying around lately.

Almost.

Only because there was no place in her heart for any emotion that was not longing for her husband.

'Cause I'm without you If I could make a list, you'd be the first in it If I could make a wish, you'd show in a minute Only if it was that way But there's some things that I can't change

There had been a new tradition going around Velaris.

Parents had begun telling their children about how the mother would grant their wishes and give them all they wished for if they stayed good all year, in hopes to get them to behave, and Y/n could not help but wish it were true.

Wished that the mother really did grant wishes on solstice, if only it meant Y/n could pray for her husband to be returned to her.

Wished that all she had to do was make a list of things she wanted, the first- and only- thing she wanted being Rhysand, and when she woke up in the morning, she'd find that he had returned.

Y/n sighed, continuing to walk towards the town house after a quick run to the market for some ingredients the wraith twins had asked for.

So now This ain't winter without you No more joy, no laughter Wish that I could turn it back around When I'm falling down

Winter had been Y/n's favourite season. Because colder weather meant drinking hot chocolate prepared by her husband.

It meant snuggling up to his warm body, grinning shyly up at him.

It meant watching him laugh whole heartedly, receiving a kiss on the forehead before he went back to his work, now with her stuck to him like a new limb.

It meant being forced to stand still while he wrapped her up in warm coats and scarves whenever they went out, grumbling about the extra layers and receiving a kiss to quiet her down.

It meant extra time in the bed in the morning with her husband because they both were too lazy to get up.

It meant being stuck to him or following him around like a lost duckling because she was just that desperate for warmth and fire never satiated her needs quite like her husband did.

But that was all before he had left.

Now fifty years had passed, and still it never got easier.

Winter just was not the same without him, and it made her wonder how she had ever lived without him before they met.

So how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for christmas

She yearned for him.

To simply hear his voice again, to stare into those beautiful eyes, she was ready to bargain away her life.

She no longer cared whether she lived or died, and she would have taken her own life a long time ago if it meant she would not have to bear this pain.

Despite trying to end things multiple times, Y/n could never take that final step, because the last thing she wanted to see before she died was not the ceiling or the wall of her bedroom.

It was those violet eyes she wanted to die to.

She did not want the feeling of the cold hard ground or hanging suspended in the air to be the last thing she felt before that sweet reprieve claimed her.

It was the feeling of strong, warm and loving arms wrapped around her body.

She wished he would at least open his mind to her, so she could at the very least ask him if he was eating well. Sleeping well. Drinking enough water.

Y/n wanted to ask him if he was okay.

Wanted to tell him he was strong, that he was stronger than anyone she had ever known, and to never give up.

Alas, all she could do was want and wish.

All she had done in the past half century.

And if I could turn back the time You'd be in my arms again But there's some things that I can't change

Y/n sometimes cursed the mother for not granting her the power to turn back time, for not making any instrument to fast forward in time, just so she could at least have one glimpse of her lover, her husband, and know that he was alright.

She wished she'd been born with the gift to turn back time so she could have him in her arms again.

Hell, she even perused the books in the library of the house of wind in search of any way to turn back time, didn't matter if it was allowed or not. Even if it went against all laws of nature, if it would curse her soul forever to go against the decision of the Mother.

Mother's happiness and blessing be damned, Y/n just wanted to hold and be held by her husband again.

Even if she'd burn in hell for it.

Heavy snow pouring out my window I pray to stars and the angels No, no more lonely nights 

Y/n sat next to the huge window in the darkened room, arms wrapped around her knees as she watched the snow dance in the air before landing softly onto the already blanketed layer on the ground.

She swallowed down the knot in her throat.

Back before Rhys had left and then been unable to return, he would take Y/n out to play.

Just the way him and his brothers would have snowball fights, he would play with Y/n in the snow, as if the two of them were again kids.

Rhys knew all about Y/n's upbringing, and it had never been glitter and sparkles. So whatever chance he got, he tried to get her to experience everything she had missed out on.

This was one of those things.

Now Y/n sat alone, the sounds of her family celebrating in the background, and she prayed again.

Prayed to the stars, the moon, the night sky, the mother, the angels, the devils and forgotten mortal gods.

Prayed to anyone willing to listen, to return her husband.

She had lost all hope, but still, there was nothing else she could do but sit and pray for his health and safety and hope.

Pray to them so there were no more lonely nights she had to go through.

Hope that he would be by her side again.

So I keep wishing and hoping You'd walk through the door Hold me 'cause I know We'll fight through the cold 

She had stopped celebrating solstice or any other event that she had loved before, because what was the point in celebrating life when the one who kept you alive was probably dying off somewhere?

Y/n sucked in a ragged breath, clenching her eyes shut, feeling the fat tears roll down her cheek.

The sound of footsteps echoed outside the door, and her eyes flashed open, and she stared at the door, wishing, hoping, it was him.

Hoping he walked in through the door, gave her his signature charming smile, and then held her as they both fought to get back to their normal lives.

She would give anything for that piece of imagination to become reality.

Y/n sighed and turned back to the window as the footsteps faded away, likely a family member going to bed.

Now tell me how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for Christmas

Staring at the stars that he probably could not see, she screamed.

After everyone had gone to bed, Y/n had snuck out of the town house and made her way to the tallest peak in Velaris, and then finally, she let loose.

It had become a tradition, a habit, where every solstice night, Y/n would sneak out of home and come to this exact mountain, and scream up at the stars.

Why her? Why him?

She screamed and screamed, asking the mother, and him- not that he could hear- how she was supposed to live without him.

How she was supposed to be happy without him.

And then, after hours of screaming and cursing at the twinkling starry sky, she would collapse, staring up while laying on her back, whispering, pleading, begging, for some sign that he would return.

That he would be home, at the very least, for the next solstice.

So how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for Christmas

Exhausted, she would fall asleep, only waking once the soft rays of the sun caressed her skin gently, telling her it was time to start the miserable routine she had fallen into all over again.

She would drag herself back home, suppressing the urge to throw herself into the Sidra, and wait for the next solstice to come around so she could again scream and cry at the injustice of it all.

•○🌑○•

The wards felt different today, Y/n could feel it.

They felt stronger, more lively, though they seemed ready to fall.

What was going on, Y/n could not tell, but as she made her way through the winding passages of the moonstone palace, her heart beat louder and faster, and a sense of longing gripped Y/n's body in a vise-like grip.

Her strolling footsteps hurried, and Y/n was running by the time she reached one of the sitting rooms, the door ajar.

Panting, chest heaving, she took that final step, and her world came to a stop.

She smelled him before she heard him, heard him before she saw him, and saw him before she understood fully who she was staring at.

Rhysand.

Her husband.

The male she was in love with, one she had not seen in fifty long years, one she yearned to get a glimpse of each second of every day spent she spent without.

He stood there, his skin pale as he hugged his cousin, crying, whispering, over and over again, where is she?

Where is my wife?

It took only a moment for the siblings to notice the new presence in the room, but to Y/n, it was another fifty years.

Though this wait she did not mind, for what did a moment compare to eighteen thousand, two hundred sixty-two days?

She simply stared at the embracing siblings, a traitorous tear slipping out of her eye the longer she stared.

And then finally, he lifted his eyes, and glossy violet met hers, widening, more tears slipping out as he pulled away from his cousin, his lips parting on an exhale.

Mor turned to look at Y/n, tear tracks staining her own cheeks, and grinned.

Y/n paid no attention to her though, her eyes tracking her husband's body, marking the amount of weight and muscle he had lost, the loss of colour of his skin, the dimmed shine in his once sparkling eyes.

Y/n swallowed. "Mor? Do you mind giving us a moment?"

"But-"

"Please, Mor." Y/n's voice broke, and she cursed herself for it.

Mor nodded, hastily making her way out of the room.

Y/n reached behind herself to grasp the door, shutting it softly, not taking her eyes off of him once.

She had let him out of her sight once, and as punishment, had been able to see him for fifty years. She would not look away again, not while this felt like a cruel dream the mother was showing Y/n, only to take it all away for her to realise she was dreaming.

"Rhysand." She whispered, taking a step foward.

"Y/n." His voice broke on the name, and he swallowed, tears beginning anew.

When she was close enough, she reached her hand out, running her fingers along his cheek, afraid anything other than the ghost of a touch would make him vanish.

His eyes were pleading, filled with silver, and Y/n wanted to do nothing more than throw herself onto him and never let go.

But she couldn't do that.

She first wanted t make sure this was not some mirage, and that he really was here, unhurt and safe, back with her where he belonged.

Slowly, she cupped his cheek, trying her best to stop any tears from flowing.

When she was sure that this was a miracle, not a mirage, Y/n stepped closer, searching his eyes, his face.

She gently grasped his chin, turning his head this way and that, running her hands along his shoulder and arms, searching for something she hoped was not there.

He laughed, the sound a balm to her frayed nerves.

"You've lost weight." Y/n phrased it like a question.

He smiled softly, sadly. "So have you."

She shook her head. "Are you okay?"

His smile widened, and he leaned forward slightly. "Will get there."

Y/n nodded, and then finally, she extended her arms, snaking them gently around his neck, pressing every inch of her body against his, and buried her face in his neck.

His arms wrapped around her back and waist, and instantly, tension bled from both their bodies. She tightened her hold on him, and he returned it tenfold.

Y/n didn't care he was crushing her, all she knew was she was home, finally.

He was back home.

"I missed you, husband."

"I missed you more, my love."

She pulled back her face to search his nearly empty eyes, and gave him the first smile she had smile in the past fifty years. He rested her forehead against hers, his lips tilted up in contentment.

"Welcome home, my love. Welcome home Rhysand."

•○🌑○•

Rhysand Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

[thefangirlfever]

Control freak (a Miguel O'hara NSFW story, 18+)

Summary : Miguel is a control freak but there might be one place where he lets you take control…

Disclaimer : the following story contains mentions of BDSM related content. Proceed with care and note that the acts portrayed take place in a healthy relationship between two consenting adults (as it should be).

Tags : Smut, F/M, NSFW, BDSM (very light), a littke kinky, bondage, feelings, aftercare, riding, PIV penetration, overstimulation, doggy style, temperature play, oral sex (F. receiving)

Who cares about No Nut November ?

==========================================

Everyone in the Spider society knew that Miguel was a control freak. It was pretty obvious by the way he would manage the society, handle missions and work in general. His office literally looked like a control panel, filled with screens allowing him to keep an eye on the whole multiverse, on everything and everyone. Even the way he talked and walked convey this need of him to always stay in control, to never let go off the hold he had on everything.

That’s why it was so surprising to you the first time Miguel asked you to restrain him. The two of you were already dating for a whole year and your sex life has consisted of the most basic, vanilla things anyone could expect. And you were no one to complain. There was nothing to complain about honestly when it came to this with Miguel. He was always making sure you were comfortable and satisfied, all while taking his time. This was way above any other men you’ve ever been with honestly. And if only this was just that, but he also managed to make you feel secure, loved and desired every time. The colder he acted outside, the more tender he was with you, which was a great surprise. You already couldn’t hope for anything better at this point.

And yet Miguel still managed to surprise you. You still remember vividly the day, or rather the night, it happened. The two of you were in your bed after a long day at work. Your last mission had almost been ruined and Miguel had to clean all the mess almost by himself, not allowing anyone to help, afraid this might just make everything worse. In these moments, even you weren’t allowed inside his office. But you knew that after a day like this, you would come home to find him either on the couch or already in your bed, waiting for any kind of relief.

You were sitting on Miguel’s cock, slowly grinding your cunt against him, watching how your slick arousal was spreading on his warm skin and pubic hair. The two of you were making a mess and you could feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm as his hands were moving between your breasts and your clit. You lost it all the moment he pinched both your nipples and you reached your third orgasm of the night. Miguel watched your face torn in pleasure with your lips parted in a moan of agony, still kneading the soft flesh of your sides. You slowly came down from your heights when you realized that on his side, he still hadn’t had one orgasm. When asked about it, maybe he felt frustrated about it, Miguel didn’t dare looking back at you, which was a first. The man could look at you dead in the eyes while being balls deep inside your cunt or while you were moaning his name loud enough for the whole floor to hear you, and suddenly he was acting all shy and coy. Plus, you could feel his hard-on just between your thighs. He wanted to cum, that was obvious, but something prevented him to do so.

With enough teasing and questioning, you finally heard him admitting what he wanted. His voice, almost a whisper, sounded nothing like the Miguel you knew.

“I want you to tie me to the bed.”

With your eyes widened in astonishment, you felt like you almost forgot how to breathe. Did you just hear him right? When he saw your expression, Miguel’s cheeks reddened and he said in a rushed voice, looking away:

“Forget about it. It was weird. Let’s do it like we always do.” He began to slowly get up while lifting your hips from his body. With your hands on his chest, you stopped him and gently pushed him back to the bed.

“First of all, it was not weird. Second of all, what do you want me to use?”, you asked with a grin. His cheeks were now a deep red as he mumbled:

“Stop making fun of me. We don’t have to do it if you find it weird.”

Maybe you needed to handle this question with more subtlety, since it seemed to be a sensitive topic for him. You quickly erased the grin off your face and cupped his face.

“Miguel, I can assure you, there’s definitely nothing weir about that. It’s...different from what we usually do, but that doesn’t mean we can’t give it a try…”

And that’s how you ended up once again of top of him, his hands tied to the headboard with a piece of clothes. You were a little afraid he might hurt himself with his arms brought upon his head, but he reassured you and you couldn’t deny that the sight of his arms flexing was adding a little something to the scene. Miguel found himself panting quite quickly as you rode him once again. This time he could only use his hips and his mouth. The fact he couldn’t reach you as freely as he wanted to was driving him crazy and you were teasing him without even knowing it...at least in the beginning. You leaned toward him, your breasts a few inches from his face as your thighs kept squeezing him, your walls clenching around his cock. This was pure torture as his lips couldn’t catch you, not even for a kiss. When you finally indulged into a chaste kiss on his lips before quickly moving away, he let out a frustrated groan.

“Untie me.”

You chuckled as you watched him fighting against the knot. He could easily break it or rip it. But you were the one in control, the who had the last word… to a certain limit. Your eyes met and you asked in a teasing way:

“Are you sure? Aren’t you the one who asked me to bind you?” And as you were talking, you began bouncing on top of his cock, making sure you would soon reach a new orgasm. Miguel’s face was flushed and his lips parted in low moans and grunts.

“Untie me now!”, he growled, giving you a look you’ve never seen yet. It was like looking into the eyes of an animal. His red pupils were dilated and you could see his fangs, the result of his Spider transformation. He had always been so self-conscious about these futures. Seeing him assuming them in this moment made you untie him.

Miguel quickly flipped you over, your belly and face against the bed, head buried deep in a pillow as he moved behind you and began inserting his hard-on inside your sloppy cunt. His hips rolled against yours before stammering, slapping against your back. His fingers grabbed your waist while lifting up your butt and you felt him hitting your cervix multiple times.

When he heard you moaning his name, every sound muffled by the pillow, Miguel couldn’t hold it back anymore and he pushed himself further into you, his voice almost like a growl. If he wasn’t holding you, your legs would have probably let you go. When you felt yourself reaching a new orgasm, your clit was nothing more than a poor throbbing nerve at this point. The fact that Miguel could hear yourself crying to the sensation mades it impossible for him to hold himself any longer and he just had to come between your thighs as a low moan parted his lips.

His every sensations were heightened and it felt like an earthquake had shaken his world. He knew he had to try it again with you. And so, each time the two of you met, Miguel felt himself getting bolder, slowly losing his inhibitions, just as you did.

There was just something about how he looked all tied up, all vulnerable and offered to you. Miguel usually seemed so impressive, almost scary to most people, especially considering his large frame, his height and his dark gaze. But there, with his body tied up, he had no other choice than bend to your will. And he did know how to bend properly, his body more flexible than clay, and how to make the thing last. He could have easily broken the ropes or the handcuffs if he wanted to, but he never did so. You quickly guessed that he must have been used to this, because he could stand in any of these positions for hours, edging himself until his mind went blank and still not make a sound, not even move. Since he was the most experienced, he taught you how to tie him properly, how to take care of you and him after every session.

This was what scared you the most in the beginning, the thought that you could hurt him. Nothing seemed to scare him, not because he was reckless but because he trusted you enough. No matter how tight the ropes were, no matter the number of red marks on his body, he always knew you would find a way to give him some relief. Just like that day when his hands went numb after being tied for an hour and his wrists were covered in red marks where the ropes had almost cut him. Your words and your touch had a way to ease the pain, to make it go away so easily that he found himself more excited every time, already waiting for your next session.

At some point, the two of you grew confident and comfortable enough to try different things. And that’s how after one of those long days at work, filled with only frustration and disappointment, the two of you ended up at your place. What started as a heated make-out session turned into something way more intimate.

It must have been a really frustrating day for him because Miguel was now sitting in the middle of your living room, on his knees, blindfolded and his body only covered with some thick ropes. Their intricate shapes were crossing his chest, circling his shoulders and finally were tied around his wrists on his back. His throbbing cock was on display for your more than hungry eyes, the tip red and swollen as it was profusely leaking precum. You didn’t even touch him down there and he had already made a mess of your new carpet, not that you mind, but you still felt the need to tease him for that. You were standing behind him, fully dressed, and you were whispering in his ear either the most vile thing or the most tender love words he could ever dream to hear. Not knowing what you were about to say only made his arousal grow more and more; it was thrilling.

“Miguel… you made a mess on the carpet. Will I have to ask you clean it up?”

“S...sorry…I’ll clean it up”, he tried his best to keep his voice even, but it was a pathetic attempt at this point and you could only laugh quietly.

“And how are you going to do that without your hands?” In your hand was the object of his turmoil for the past hour. It was such a small thing and yet, it was driving him crazy. How could such a simple thing have this much effect on him?

He licked his lips nervously and once again, you found yourself laughing quietly.

“Oh, you would do that? Gosh...you’re gonna make me feel real hot…”, you said while rubbing the ice cube against his nipple once again. This small thing was torturing him in the best way possible. You’ve rubbed his nipples with ice so much that they had taken a pinkish color despite their original sugary brown shade. Goosebumps were running all over his chest and the two little numbs were growing stiff, erect and sore. Their sensitivity was over the roof and your words were not helping either. You’ve teased him enough with how hot, almost obscene, they looked; how you knew they would poke through his suit the next day, showing to the whole world what kind of freak he was…

Since his eyes were covered by the blindfold, he could only rely on his other senses, increasing his sensitivity to your words, to your touch, to your scent… And did you smell wonderful in this moment! Your tantalizing scent was driving him wild. Mixed with the perfume of the candles burning across the room, he started to feel almost dizzy, disoriented as his senses were overwhelmed and incredibly turned-on by this heady scent.

The ice cube was slowly melting along his warm skin and small droplets of water dripped down his chest, his thighs and the carpet under him. Miguel was shivering under your touch and the more you were lowering the ice cube on his body, the more he leaned back against you. You could only accept him in your arms, holding him in your arms. His throbbing member was aching for your touch but you were quite not ready to give it to him. For now he would have to satisfy himself with your kisses on his shoulders, his nape and his hairline. The heats of your two bodies were mixed and the silence of the room was broken only with his panting.

When you released him from your embrace, he thought for a second that this torture would come to an end, finally. He was more than ready to pick a kiss on your lips but you were moving further, further from him. Since he couldn’t see where you were standing, he had no other choice than to rely on his other senses. That’s how he noticed the sound of a zipper opening and then the distinguishable sound of ruffled fabric. Something, presumably the said fabric, dropped to the ground. His heightened senses were now noticing a new scent, almost sour and yet sweet like honey for him as he already knew it. He could only whine in frustration as you were untouchable, out of his reach. On your side, you were quite enjoying yourself, watching him struggle against the restraints, sitting on the couch, facing him. The piece of fabric on the ground was nothing else than your pants and there you were, your intimacy barely covered by your underwear, watching him eagerly. The sight was enough to almost break your resolution and release him. But as you slowly grew into this sight, you found yourself getting more and more aroused. You pushed your underwear to the side and slipped one hooked finger between your lips. You were already wet.

The smell and the sound hit Miguel like a truck. He didn’t need to say anything. His kneeling position, how he was bending forward and the twitching of his cock were enough for you to know what he wanted. You decided to let him yearn a little longer while you kept on fingering yourself. The whimpers you let escape your mouth made what you were doing quite clear to him.

“Please...please…”

His broken voice almost amused you. As much as you enjoyed seeing him beg for you, you knew that nothing could replace him when it came to pleasuring you. Slowly, you left the couch and walked toward him. Your underwear were tossed aside and you stood there, half-naked, in front of him, your womanhood only a few inches away from his face. As he kept on begging you, you decided to put his mouth to good use and grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him closer. His face made contact with your intimacy and he released a loud moan while coming on the spot. He was a wrecked mess. You watched him rubbing his cheek against your glistening cunt, your trimmed pubic hair and your pelvic bone. He was rubbing against you like a hungry cat asking for food. You pushed his face deeper between your thighs, still holding him by his hair. His mouth hungrily kissed your sex and his lips were one with yours. His tongue digged further into your hole, sloppily eating you out. His movements were not organized or even thought beforehand; it was just his instinct that guided him, as well as his want to please you. You were thrusting your hips forward, almost sitting on his lips and he was drinking your juice as if it was some nectar. One of your feet slipped between his parted legs and lazily stroked his member until he came once again, his body shaking against you. When he reached his climax, his lips wrapped around your clitoris and pulled on it, suckling it as if he wanted to drain it. You came a few minutes after him, trying your best to stay steady on your feet while your hips rocked all over him, coating his chin and his lips with your cyprine. Your nails were gripping his scalp and you finally released him, falling back into the couch. Miguel made his way toward you, still on his knees and once again you opened his arms for him.

******

The two of you were usually lying in your bed after these sessions, either talking or just cuddling, depending on the intensity of the moment. That day, you were applying a soothing balm on Miguel’s skin just where the ropes had left their marks. Occasionally you were even kissing his swollen and red skin, showing him how much you appreciated his devotion.

"You really took it well today. I'm so proud of you, Miguel.", you said softly with a kiss on his slightly bruised shoulder.

You could easily see how Miguel was flustered by your compliments. He closed his eyes and let himself get pampered, showered in love while you kept whispering sweet nothings in his ears.

====================================

Thanks for reading. I know this might not be the most relatable BDSM related content but I hoped you still liked it.

[chaoticreation]

10/29/23

This area is a death sentence without transportation. I'm running out of food, I can't get my prescriptions, can't flee in an emergency, and me and Syd have been freezing for like, a month, aside from the past two days because it's been surprisingly warm out for October. But November is around the corner, and it's gonna get cold. Fast.

I don't have the funds to repair my van, or the furnace.

Eventually, I'm gonna go homeless if the taxes aren't paid, but the van and furnace are extremely pressing matters right now.

If you can afford to donate, I'd appreciate anything you can spare. If you can't, that's okay. You can still help by sharing this campaign! Please don't donate if you can't afford to, but please SHARE no matter what!

OUR SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON IT. YES, I AM BEGGING. I'M TERRIFIED.

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Edit, 11/7/23: And we also don't have hot water now either. When the plumber came to give me an estimate on the furnace, he found that the hot water heater had a bad leak, so that was turned off to reduce damage.

Edit, 11/12/23: Septic problems now, too. Sinks are backing up. Woo! Still no heat, btw. It's been a month without heat and it's getting colder. Friend bought Syd a bigger hospital cage, but it hasn't arrived yet, so poor girl has to continue to suffer. Still no transportation, either. HEAP has said they'll pay half the furnace bill if I'm on the deed, which I can't and won't do until the taxes are paid off. I'm not about to inherit that debt.

@sydthetiel is being kept in a tiny hospital cage in my office with a space heater. Not ideal, but it's keeping her warm at least.

We're really not okay.

Edit, 11/16/23: Still no heat or hot water. Plumber isn't even actually getting back to us lmao. Mechanic got back to us, though, and they've found that the brake lines are rusted and need to be replaced. They want an extra $3500 for that. So it'd be roughly $6,000 to get my van repaired. Or I can just fix what I can fix at $2,000 and take my chances with rusted brake lines, and be an accident waiting to happen because I'm desperate to not be trapped in a freezing house with no meds or food or water lmao. Or I just don't get to have transportation back. Or I have to buy a new used vehicle, for like, $15,000+. So... mostly there's just no hope left for me. I'm ready to just give up. It's too much to fix, and my odds of survival are at 0 anyway. I won't last the winter here, and I can't even leave.

Edit, 11/22/23: That plumber ghosted us. We got a new plumber. He came out yesterday and got the furnace rigged to work, just in time. As he pulled into the driveway, it started sleeting and snowing. Throughout the night. The problem is, the furnace isn't fixed, so it could crap out at any moment. The water heater is off, but still leaking, so it's time sensitive to have it replaced. But he's pointed out another problem with that; Rex's hoarding. We need to be able to get rid of enough of her crap to get the equipment in and out. He can do it, but it's gonna cost. Additionally, the chimney isn't in great shape so we have to do something about that, or it's going to defeat the purpose of these replacements. Waiting for the quotes on everything.

As for my van, it's ready to be picked up, without the brake lines being finished. We found a new place that said they'd charge between $700-$1000 to replace the brake lines. A lot better than $3,500, but still not money I have. So until I can do that, it's a risk driving it, but I really don't have a choice. I can't stay living like this, trapped in the middle of nowhere. It's defeating me mentally and physically. But there's another problem too, that won't be covered under warranty. A knock sensor. No idea how much it'll cost yet, but it needs to be replaced in order for the van to pass inspection in December.

I'm feeling incredibly hopeless. I can't even run, because I have Syd, and I'm not going to abandon her. She's my kiddo. She's in a bigger cage now, happily. But I'm at such a loss of what to do. We're not going to survive the winter here without these repairs, and fleeing is going to be really difficult, and I may not have a home to come back to in Spring if I did manage to leave for the winter with Syd.

[lilacmingi]

FUZZY SOCKS

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works

Pairing: Changbin x fem reader

Word Count: 970

Note: We had some icy weather not long ago and it was making me wish I had my own Binnie to cuddle with. Also I’ve been wanting to write a soft n cuddly imagine for Changbin so here it is! (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

Layers of snow coated the nearly empty streets outside, more chunky flakes falling from the pale gray sky along with small drops of icy rain. Since yesterday, a mix of freezing rain and snow started up, thus resulting in the fluffy substance blanketing the ground to become hard and icy, turning some of the snow to slush, which led to conditions being so severe people weren't leaving their houses.

The roads were iced over, schools closed, businesses closed, mail stopped running, even the trash pickups were halted.

With it being the middle of winter, the cold weather had ramped up and gotten particularly chilly outside—"chilly" meaning single digit temperatures. That plus the freezing rain, ice, and snow was a safety hazard and a recipe for disaster.

The frigid weather, while a nuisance for some people (and the cause of high power bills), meant you and Changbin got to spend more time together. Even JYP didn't want employees traveling in the icy conditions, so everyone was advised to stay home.

Lucky for you, Changbin had stayed the night a day prior just before the roads could get too bad.

"It's still cold in here." You complained, raising the temperature on the thermostat once again.

It's like you could physically feel the temperature dropping inside your apartment, as it was noticeably colder than it was thirty minutes prior.

The air was cool and had your hands feeling like ice cubes. The thick cabin socks you wore were doing a good job of keeping your normally cold feet nice and toasty. The same couldn't be said for the borrowed hoodie you donned (sorry Changbin). While it was warm, you were still able to feel the steadily dropping temperature in the apartment.

Your heater had been working overtime for the last few days and at this rate, you could only hope it would hold out until the weather had passed.

"Come back to the couch, baby." Changbin called from the living room.

Your boyfriend was right where you left him, curled up on the sofa with a large throw blanket that the both of you had been sharing until you got up to mess with the thermostat.

He pulled the fluffy blanket back and allowed you to crawl back underneath it with him, returning to your cozy, fleece cocoon.

Your gaze was drawn to the empty mugs on the coffee table, the warm hot chocolate that filled them long gone.

"You want more cocoa?" You offered.

"No. I just want to cuddle with you." Changbin murmured, resting his head on your shoulder.

Your body relaxed and sunk into the cushions behind your back while Changbin's hand slid over to your thigh, resting gently on top of it.

"I wish we could order jjigae. A nice, hot stew would really hit the spot right now. Something spicy would be even better." He spoke his thoughts aloud as his hand gently caressed your thigh. "That would really warm me up."

"Yeah. That sounds really nice." You sighed. "But with this weather, I don't think any delivery person is willing to try and brave the elements."

He hummed in agreement. "We can always have instant ramen if we want something warm."

"Speaking of warm, this blanket isn't doing much for me." You admitted, suppressing a shiver.

"Me neither."

"Should we go to the bedroom?" You supplied a suggestion.

Changbin nodded rapidly.

While keeping the blanket wrapped around yourselves, you and Changbin stood up, shuffling down the hall towards your room.

Normally, you wouldn't crawl into bed with socks on, but considering the circumstances, you thought it best to keep them on your feet. With the temperature dropping outside, you needed all the extra layers you could get. You made yourself comfortable under the comforter, resting your head on Changbin's chest which doubled as a pillow. When he wasn't flexing, his impressive pecs were soft and cushiony. You nuzzled your cheek against his chest which made him chuckle softly. His legs started to tangle with yours, his feet brushing against your leg where your fuzzy pants leg had ridden up.

"Your toes are freezing." You complained.

"Sorry." Changbin apologized through a series of soft giggles.

"You need some socks."

"I don't have any clean ones with me."

"I have some you can borrow." You reluctantly crawled out of bed, moving across the room to your dresser. After sifting through your many pairs of socks, you pulled out a pair of fuzzy, pale pink Hello Kitty ones.

Changbin's contagious and endearing giggles filled the room as you handed them over to him. Amusement painted his features as he slipped the socks onto his feet, wiggling his toes a bit.

Changbin may be a tough-looking, buff guy but he was filled with cuteness and enjoyed showing it in various ways. Stays didn't call him babygirl for nothing.

"Cute." You giggled endearingly at your boyfriend, the pink Hello Kitty socks standing out against his all black ensemble. "Do they fit you alright?"

"Mhm. They're warm too."

"Good." You grinned, crawling back under the covers, snuggling closely against Changbin's side.

He smiled softly at you, his brown eyes drifting down to your lips while he licked his own.

"I know one way we can warm up."

"I do too." The faintest hint of a smirk twitched at the corner of your mouth as you closed the gap between your faces.

Your lips locked with his, wrapping around his full bottom one while your hands slid up into his fluffy hair. His eyelids fluttered closed as he pulled you closer, getting lost in the kiss and forgetting about the chilly air inside the apartment.

By the time you both parted ways, your legs were tangled together and the two of you were panting for breath.

"That's one way to warm up."

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way

🏷 @h3arteyes4mingi @weird-bookworm @poppy2007 @parkjennykim @evidive @mxlly143 @lizzymizzy-blogg @minhanbyeol @dinossaurz

[seoulstorms]

YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER

nicholas chavez x actress!reader

a/n: hey guys so this is actually my first complete story (I guess..?) but it’s not proofread bcs it’s 1am and I’m not up for it.. :,) I hope you guys enjoy, but pls pls pls do let me know what I can do to improve! Lmk your thoughts and feelings lovelies, et voila!

ps. father charlie fic next?

word count: 2,249 (yikes!)

IT WAS NERVE-WRACKING to see so many stars in the same room as you. It was a small award ceremony that some of the cast members of grotesquerie had been invited to, you and Nicholas included.

You’d known each other for a short amount of time, first meeting a week before shooting the opening episode. The friendship that blossomed was strong and you’d both been quick to take to each others company. From rehearsing lines between takes to getting dinner after a long day to going into town on days off.

The other cast members noticed it immediately, the chemistry between you two. But what you’d failed to notice was small things; glances your way, small gestures like leaving you a warm cup of coffee on colder days, always offering his help before anyone else. To you, it was just being friendly, the expectations of a close friendship. Nicholas understood very quickly that you hadn’t picked up on any hints and to him it was like a pin to his chest. Not heartbreaking, just slightly disheartening to his feelings for you.

He’d accompanied you on the way to the awards ceremony, sharing a limousine and offering his hand after opening your door. The cameras flashed as you were both flooded by photographers, Nicholas holding his hand out to block some of the flashes, mumbling a quick ‘you okay?’ as he led you into the building. You smiled at him and gently squeezed his bicep that you’d latched onto as guidance, nodding and replying with a slight laugh.

Nicholas had won an award before, so when your name was called as the winner, he’d smiled with pride, pressing his hand to your lower back and gesturing for you to go up. The shock was evident in your face, completely out of zone and abruptly pulled out of your stare as you stood up, smoothing out your dress and laughing nervously. Your cast mates clapped and congratulated you as you made your way to the stage, chuckling softly in disbelief.

“Thank you.. to everybody who made this happen..”

Your words blurred into a string of ‘thank you’s and mentions, making sure to mentally tick off everyone who deserved a mention. It was a short speech but it was meaningful as you spoke briefly about your cast mates and the crew.

“In particular, I would like to thank Nicholas.. I mean, it’s been a tough few months for both of us and filming this movie was definitely a challenge. Yet, every time I was struggling, Nicholas was already by me and offering help. I couldn’t have done this without you as my co-star, Nicholas, so thank you”

You focused on him in the crowd, smiling at him as you spoke, your words heavy with gratitude. His face softened as he smiled back, beaming with pride for you. The fact that you’d publicly spoken about how he was so much to you gave him hope. Maybe the feelings were there, you just didn’t know it yet.

You made your way back to the table, sitting back beside Nicholas and setting the award down on the table. You turned to him and smiled like a kid who just got ice cream, making him chuckle at your happiness. He adored you in that moment, infatuated with the way you smiled, the way your happiness lit the room. Nicholas was sure that there was no better feeling, that this was love.

He whispered a small ‘well done’ to you as you sat down, the host moving on to nominees for another category. You couldn’t stop smiling, looking at the small trophy you’d been given. All night, you’d kept your focus on the host and other winners, Nicholas had his eyes on you. The way your hair was flawless and stayed so the entire night, your makeup enhancing your features and your dress. God, your dress had kept his attention. One of your friends nudged him softly and gave him a knowing look, joking about it quietly to him.

After what seemed to be a dragging conversation, Nicholas made his way back to you, snaking between people and rushed greetings just to get to you.

“Hey, are you going now?”

His question made you jump slightly, not expecting him to be directly behind you. He laughed at your shock, resting a hand on your lower back and leaning forward to hear you clearer.

“Yeah but Micaela and I might go to eat something now because I’m starving, could eat a horse right now..”

You looked up at him and smiled, looking around briefly to see if Micaela was around. He hummed and nodded, tilting his head slightly and standing straight up.

He wanted to come with you, to spend more time with you, but he knew it’d be rude to invite himself. When you spotted Micaela, you ushered her over with an excited smile. She smiled back and linked your arm with hers, stealing you from Nicholas with an unserious ‘sorry’. He was taken aback but you’d turned around and gave him a polite kiss to his cheek as a goodbye. It was the smallest gesture but it lit him on fire as he watched you wave and walk away with Micaela.

It wasn’t until later that night, close to 2am, that he’d get a phone call. It didn’t wake him up; he was still wide awake seemingly unable to get himself to sleep. He sighed and turned onto his stomach, answering the call without properly checking who could possibly be calling him at such a time. Pressing his ear to the phone, he mumbled a ‘hello?’, already done with whatever conversation he was about to have.

“nickkk, are you awake?”

What Nicholas was not prepared for, was your voice on the other end. Your greeting was slurred and interrupted by a hiccup, giggling at yourself. He’d only just answered the call and could tell you were drunk.

“yeah- I’m up.. you all good?”

He sighed and hoped you were with Micaela and not a random guy you’d just met or worse- stumbling around by yourself in the dark. He assumed you were calling to ramble, something you’d done before and ended in tears in Nicholas’ apartment.

“mhm, I’m kinda… lost..?”

You hiccuped again, the sound of you dropping your phone abruptly cutting through the quietness. Nicholas mentally face palmed and knew he’d have to pick you up, although he wasn’t complaining about it. He got up with a huff, stretching his arms and picking up his phone.

“send me your location, can you manage that sweetheart?”

His voice was smooth as he smiled at your clumsiness, hoping you weren’t too drunk.

“mkay.. how do I- on messages?”

You mumbled to yourself, your voice further as you fumbled to send Nicholas your location. His phone buzzed with a message from you, your location. You weren’t far from him and it would be a 15 minute drive max. It was still dark out though, so Nicholas grabbed a coat and picked up his keys as he opened the door and walked to the car.

“I’ll be there in 15 minutes, stay outside a shop or something with people around okay?

You responded with a small ‘mkay..’ and hung up, Nicholas getting into his car with a shiver as the cold hit him like ice. As his car started, he set his phone in its place in front of him and made sure to turn on the heating, warming the car up enough for you.

It was a quick 15 minute drive and Nicholas spotted you immediately, standing out significantly in your flowing dress and high heels. He tutted to himself at how poorly you were dressed for this weather, glad that he was wearing a coat you could wear. Nicholas parked his car outside the shop, not catching your attention as he walked up to the front of it.

“hey, ‘re you feeling okay?”

He crouched down to level with you, placing a hand on your upper arm and immediately feeling how cold your skin was. He sighed quietly and took his coat off, wrapping it around you. It took you a moment to register it was Nicholas but when you did, you smiled and nodded, standing up using him for support. Your hand gripped his bicep as you steadied yourself, humming as you did so.

“thank you.. f’ coming, didn’t have to”

Your voice was quiet but less slurred, as the cold had most likely brought a slither of sobriety to you. Nicholas hummed and held your arm in his, looking down to you briefly as he guided you back to the car.

“It’s 2 in the morning, of course I had to pick you up. Can’t have you wondering all alone in this state, can we now?”

He opened the door for you, patting your arm softly and shielding your head from hitting it against the car as you slid into the seat. You sighed at how warm it was, snuggling yourself into his coat and pulling your seatbelt over yourself while Nicholas walked around to the drivers side.

The ride home was steady and slow, small conversation between the two of you as he asked about what happened, tutting as you explained how Micaela had to leave early and you’d been left on your own to drink. Although you admitted; you probably shouldn’t have drank the amount you did, it was better than going home having drank nothing at all. Shortly, Nicholas parked outside your apartment building, sighing and smiling at you.

“Do you need me to walk you up?”

To this you shook your head, feeling better as you’d drank water and your head had cleared up enough for you to support yourself. He always offered his help and you always wondered why. Shrugging it off, you sighed and got out, walking around to his side of the car as he rolled his window down.

“Thank you, Nicholas. Always saving me like a knight in shining armour, I’m a damsel in distress huh?”

You both laughed as he nodded, joking lightly. It wasn’t something he ever complained about, he was always up to help you. You weren’t sure why it had hit you like a brick now of all times, but it did. The idea that Nicholas might’ve been more than just friendly to you lit a lightbulb in you brain. You leaned against the window frame and stared at him briefly, a sharp inhale giving away your shock. Nicholas wasn’t following your train of thought but he picked up on your expression.

You debated whether to act on it then and there or leave it for another day, perhaps a day in which your head was clear. The pull towards the latter weighed heavily on your mind even for a second, feeling unsure if you’d even remember this sudden realisation. You felt guilt run through your chest as you looked at Nicholas. Suddenly, you noticed it too, just as your costars had. The look in his eyes- the look of love, adoration. Then the second gear churned in your brain, you’re drunk and not thinking clearly. Although it may have been clear in that moment, you weren’t prepared to make a decision that could change your friendship if you were wrong. Sighing heavily, you smiled at him and stepped back, taking off his jacket and putting it in the backseat.

“Good night, nick. I’ll see you sometime soon hm?”

You crossed your arms in an attempt to redeem the warmth you had moments ago, your bag drooping over your shoulder. Disappointment filled Nicholas’ chest as he accepted that tonight was no different, maybe it was you silently telling him you didn’t want a change. He nodded with a tight lipped smile, waving rigidly as he watched you turn and disappear into your apartment building. As soon as you were out of sight, Nicholas scoffed at himself and turned the car back on, quiet music filling the silence. He watched your building for a few minutes, thinking to himself. When he saw your door open and close, he knew you’d gotten home safely and drove off.

Maybe you and him would always be friends, costars. Likely you’d stay that way. It wasn’t easy for Nicholas to think that, but it felt better than chasing after something so unpredictable yet so unlikely. So he drove home, without you to come home to. That was the reality, no matter how many times you’d play each others love interests. You weren’t living in a fairy tale world where the guy gets the girl, to which Nicholas accepted and came to terms with. You were friends, so you’d always stay friends.

[tiramisuucakeee]

1. SAVED BY A SPIDER

( sunflower, yang jungwon )

warnings: bad ppl wanting bad stuff ig, fight scene.

“you got detention? again? we were supposed to go dress shopping for the dance,” giselle whined, while you shot her an apologetic look. it was the end of the school day, and you both were supposed to go out with the rest of the friend group to shop, but a small problem came up regarding your attendance.

“i wish i was joking, my lunch tray accidentally fell over mr. park, he got all mad, and here we are,” you shrugged, checking the time, and stepped back. “i swear i’ll make it up to you all.”

“y/n…” she warned, wanting you to miss detention, but you kept stepping back, as you were going to be late.

“i’m sorry gigi, i gotta go!” you started trotting away from her, waving.

making it to the classroom just in time for detention to start, you observed there was only a few students sitting down, boredly staring at the wall or their hands.

“almost late miss. l/n,” mr. park called you from the front of the room, just to your luck, he was the teacher that took care of watching over the detention students. “take a seat and no funny business,” he instructed.

you made your way towards a lonely desk, sitting quickly, as you watched the teacher turn on a tv, and slide a dvd in a slot.

“the principal told me to put on this video for you guys, so i hope you all watch it carefully, and think about your actions,” he pointed the controller towards the tv, pressing the ‘play’ button.

on the small screen, a fake school hallway background came on, followed by the famous hero - captain america - walking onto the frame, and sitting on a red foldable chair.

“this can’t be real,” you muttered, under your breath, and pulled your hair up, laying on top of your backpack.

the school, along with many others, were sent psa videos by captain america. you didn’t know how many of them existed, but your teachers had already played various of them.

“so, you got detention” captain america started, crossing his buff arms. “you screwed up. you know what you did was wrong. the question is, how are you going to make things right? maybe you were trying to be cool, but take it from a guy who was frozen for 65 years, the only way to really be cool, is to follow the rules. we all know what’s right, we all know what’s wrong…-”

and, lights out. your eyes closed shut, and your head fell ontop of your backpack.

detention went by pretty quickly, mr. park getting angry at a couple of students who went on their phones or stood up without permission, just like always.

when the sun started to set, he strolled over to your desk, rolling his eyes at your sleeping figure. he slammed a book on the table, waking you up instantly, your vision spinning fast.

“detention is over miss. l/n,” he said, and went to his desk, as the rest of the students also packed up to leave.

“right,” you said, and stood up, bidding everyone goodbye, before heading out, not wanting to be out in the streets late.

stepping out of the school premises, your zipped up your jacket, as the chilly air hit your skin. walking towards a liquor shop that was always open, you took out your wallet. nobody knew this but the owner of the shop always sold cookies. his daughter was a girl scout and they had a hard time selling them, so he opted to help.

“well hello y/n,” the old man greeted you, glad to see the only teenage girl that came to his shop not to buy alcoholic drinks. “i saved you a box, they are miraculously sold out for today,” he grinned from behind the counter.

you shot him a warm smile, happy for him and his family “that’s good, and thanks for saving some for me, i was in detention and i’m starving,” you laughed, handing him a bill. he waved you off after giving you your change, not wanting you to stay inside the shop for long, as the sky was already darkening and a teenage girl being out alone was no good.

you were already relatively close to your house when the air got colder, a small chill running up your arm, while you took another chocolate chip cookie from the cute box and turned left to a street.

that was when you spotted a group of men chatting near a car, all looking very suspicious, but nonetheless, that group’s presence wasn’t unusual at all.

it all started with a whistle. you walked quickly past them, and heard a faint disgusting cat call. choosing to ignore it, your pace sped up. “hey! i’m talking to you!” one of them spoke louder, a small crash of glass following his words, various footsteps coming dangerously closer to you.

not daring to look back, you turned sharply at the first opening you saw, your breath hitching in your throat as you realized you had stumbled into a dead end. the dark brick walls loomed high in front of you, and your heart raced , pounding in your ears as you realized the situation you were in.

you spun back, being met with five figures which seemed to grow taller the closer they got. you didn’t want to accept what was about to happen, but their taunting explicit words had you with no other option.

“please, i don’t care what you do, at least just let me go back home to my family after,” you teared up, grabbing your backpack strap tighter and backed away, hoping that they would at least feel sorry for you.

“nah, i don’t think we’d be done with a pretty girl like you in some just some minutes, i need more time than that? what do you say lady?” one of them smirked, as they all stood a single meter away from you. the guy that spoke grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to him, while you shut your eyes, praying for an escape.

you struggled against his strong grip, making you feel completely powerless. “leave me alone!” his four companions laughed at your actions, mocking your desperate words.

another one ripped your back pack off, and threw it near some trash cans, that rattled with the impact, along with the cookie box. they all continued to say all kinds of filthy things, making you lose all kinda of hopes you had in people.

then suddenly, someone took your hand, and pulled you away from the group, and behind them. you were met with a red-suited back. the person that had just saved you turned halfway to you, and you recognized them as the friendly neighborhood spider-man everyone spoke about recently.

“i’ll take care of them, don’t worry,” he said, with a voice that you didn’t recognize in that moment.

he stepped forward to fight them, and spun around, shooting out a web that snagged one of the attackers by the ankle. the guy yelped, crashing to the ground with a thud.

"what the- ?" another shouted, anger flaring as he lunged at spider-man, fists swinging. but with a swift motion, spider-man ducked and countered, delivering a quick jab to the guy's midsection. he doubled over, gasping.

the remaining three exchanged glances, uncertainty creeping in as they saw their friends crumple. spider-man moved like a blur, swinging effortlessly from wall to wall, using his agility to evade their punches. one of them lunged at you, but before you could react, spider-man was there, landing a solid kick that sent him sprawling backward.

"stay close to me," he softly instructed, his spider-like masked eyes locking onto yours for a brief moment, a flicker of reassurance cutting through your fear.

“okay, i trust you.” you nodded, heart racing, as you pressed yourself against the wall, as to not get in his way.

spider-man faced the last two, a playful grin breaking through the tension. "is this really how you want to spend your night? because i've got better plans," he shrugged. “you know, some of us have science projects to finish.”

they hesitated, and in that moment, he lunged again, catching one with a spinning kick that sent him reeling into his companion. they stumbled, and as they scrambled to recover, spider-man shot a web, binding them together like a human fly trap.

with the last of the attackers bound tightly in a web, and knocked unconscious, he turned back to you, his expression instantly softening. he took a moment to catch his breath, but his spider eyes were locked onto yours, searching for any sign of distress. “are you okay?” he asked, his voice low and soothing, filled with genuine concern. yes he was spider-man, but he was also scared shitless that something had happened to you, out of all people.

“yeah i- think i will be okay..” you nodded, but the tremor in your hands gave away the fear still clinging to you. tears threatened to spill as the adrenaline faded, leaving you feeling vulnerable.

“hey,” spider-man said gently, stepping closer, his presence warm and reassuring. “it’s okay to be shaken up. you just went through something really intense.” he reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder, his touch sending a spark of comfort through you. “let’s take a deep breath together, alright?”

you inhaled shakily, and he mirrored you. “you’re safe now,” he continued, his voice softening further, as if he was sharing a secret. “that’s what matters to me.”

the night around you felt lighter somehow. the city sounds resumed, but they felt distant. you took a deep breath, feeling gratitude for the masked individual. “thank you, really. i don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up.”

“i’m just glad i got here in time,” he replied. “you didn’t deserve any of that.” he stepped a little closer, the air between you electric, as he helped you put on your backpack again. “but honestly, you handled yourself pretty well, if only we didn’t have these damn dead ends in the city.”

a small smile tugged at your lips. “yeah it was pretty scary.”

“that’s totally understandable,” he said. there was a moment of silence, and you could feel the tension shift.

“let’s get you out of here,” he finally said, breaking the spell, a hint of excitement lighting up his eyes as he looked at you. he crouched slightly, readying himself. “trust me?” he offered you his arm, and as you took it.

“okay, just don’t let me fall, i live in the penthouse at the hybe building,” you told him, and he nodded, remembering the place.

without another word, he shot a web into the night sky, the silken strand glistening in the city lights. he wrapped an arm around your waist securely, pulling you close. “hold on tight,” he instructed, and as you clutched his shoulder, he launched himself upward.

the world below you blurred into a cascade of lights and sounds as you soared through the air. the wind whipped past, cool against your skin, but you felt an exhilarating feeling from being so close to him, the man who had just saved your life. his grip was secure, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of freedom as the city stretched out beneath you.

“this is so cool!” you shouted over the rush of the wind.

he swung from building to building, the city skyline unfolding like a living map. the streets were alive with people, but from this height, everything felt distant and surreal. he pointed out the building. “that’s our stop!”

you could feel his heartbeat through your touch, matching your own racing pulse. and suddenly, spider-man wasn’t some pretentious genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist wannabe, in a awfully designed halloween costume who only looked out for himself, he did care about people, because he was just like you.

he even had an unfinished science project.

finally, he reached the balcony of your home, landing gracefully after flying past the other floors. he gently set you down, still holding your hand as you caught your breath. “see? not so scary, right?” he said, and you could sense a teasing smile on his lips.

the balcony was open, and had a few sun chairs next to the pool, the outdoor lights illuminating the place, but you knew your parents were not home yet, since the indoor lights were off.

you laughed, still buzzing from the trip and then paused. “thank you for everything, mr. spider-man. really. i owe you my life and much more.”

“anytime,” he replied softly, his touch lingering on your hand for a moment before he pulled back. “i’d do it again in a heartbeat. and you better expect to see me again to check up on you, okay?” he asked, for the first time in forever, promising someone that he would do that.

as he prepared to swing away, you noticed how he hesitated, glancing back at you. you gave him a nod, and he reciprocated, leaving you there.

standing alone on the balcony, you knew this was just the start of something. no one gets saved by a superhero like that and walks away without a word. the connection between you felt real, and you could tell he felt it too. you swore you’ve been around this person, he felt way too familiar for him not to be, it was almost as if he knew you and what to say.

and yang jungwon felt exactly the same thing, he felt more courage than ever to speak with you now that spider-man did. if him in a silly suit and a mask could, why would he not be able to in school? of course, you were just the girl he had been in love with since he saw you the first day of freshman year in maths class, way before he was someone different.

he just hoped you would appreciate him as much as him, than you did spider-man.

EXTRA:

masterlist.

next chapter.

all chapters.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 39

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: more of our lovely dovely.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

The message pops up just as you're stuck in a whirlwind. All day you’ve been twitching in anxiety. Or anticipation? You wouldn’t say you’re excited but you should be, right?

Andy’s text is simple. ‘I hope you’re ready’.

Are you?

You haven’t forgotten the conversation. Not his Friday surprise or his rejection. You’re still bitter about his response to Amber, though you know you shouldn’t be. He didn’t say no, but he didn’t say yes either. Still, this is his house.

Maybe you could go to Amber?

That thought quickly flits away as another message bings on the tablet. ‘Turning the corner’.

Shoot. You send a thumbs up and close the tablet. You place it on the coffee table and look down at yourself. You only got as far as your skirt. Your shirt drapes over the armrest of the chair but you hadn’t found the last of your courage.

You sway a little. You’re tired. That swimming sensation itches behind your eyes and swirls in your head. You shake it away but that only seems to make it worse.

You have to hurry. You promised. The last thing you want to do is let Andy down again. Or anyone.

You shimmy out of the skirt and let your panties roll down with it. Clumsily you toss the clothes into the seat of the chair. You struggle to unhook your bra, fingers fumbling, your nerves bouncing off each other. It feels so naughty, even if Andy says it’s okay.

Naked, you shiver and rub your arms. You hear him in the driveway. The glimpse of glistening white through the window prickles your skin. It’s getting colder by the day and last night, the snow began. You always loved the winter but this year, it feels so hollow.

Or maybe you’re just tired. You haven’t been sleeping well. Not at all, really. You just lay awake and think. You think too much. Stop it.

You peek around the wall into the entryway as you listen to the muffled steps outside. Andy kicks beside the door, dusting off his boots, as the latch turns back. You flinch as he enters, his shoulders powdered with snow and his hair sparkling with melting flakes. His cheeks are rosy above his thick beard.

He looks around, brow furrowed, until he finds you. The crease in his forehead softens as he sighs out the tension. You give a sheepish smile that ends in the gnawing of your lower lip.

“What are you doing hiding?” He puts his bag down on the bench.

You gulp as he faces you fully, stretching his arms out in a subtle gesture. Oh, yeah. You remember everything he said. Another chill passes through you as you force yourself out from behind the plaster shield.

He growls as he takes you in completely. You want to cover your nipples as they go pert with the cold he let in, or cross a leg over your little vee of hair. You go to him, swallowing a squeak as he purrs and runs his hand down your side. His fingertips are icy too.

“You gonna warm me up?” He hums. He’s delighting in this, and in a way, his happiness sparks your own. Knowing he’s content means you’re doing well.

“Yes… honey,” you choke out. Sometimes you still forget to say it.

You touch the lapels of his coat and he groans. He feels bigger then. Dressed in all those layers as you stand before him, stripped down and exposed. You stand on your tiptoes as you undo his top button and begin the descent, plucking each open with shaky fingers.

He helps shrug off the heavy wool and as you turn to hang it, he touches your bottom. He lets out another gritty noise but restrains himself. You get down to help him out of his boots next, bending over as he tickles along your naked back. His hand hovers behind your head.

“Mmm, I like you like that,” he taunts. Your lashes flick at the suggestion and for a moment, you fear he might latch on and keep you there. His hand trails across your shoulder and you stand straight. “Baby, it’s all you tonight. I want you to take control. You lead me.”

You stare at him, stunned. You don’t know what to do. Even if you’ve done so much with him. He’s always guiding you, always moving you along.

“You know what to do, honey,” he coaxes, “I’m all yours.”

You might not entirely know what to do, but you know what he wants. You push his suit jacket off as you feel his intent gaze on your every move. His hands wander with his gaze, drinking you in as you repress a shudder. 

You tug at his tie cluelessly, choking him before he stops you with a chuckle. He loosens it himself and pulls it free. He throws it carelessly to the floor amidst the rest of his clothing. You pause for a moment; you’re going to be the one cleaning that up.

You shake away that thought and carry on. You feel him tremble as you unbutton his shirt. Your fingers struggling and brushing his skin. He rubs your arms as he takes a deep breath while you tug free the tails of his shirt from his pants. He stops you and brings your hands to his chest, pressing them flat.

“Slow,” he coos, “you don’t have to rush.”

You feel his firm muscle and the soft hair across it. He’s warm but you find little comfort in that. The heat radiating off of him is suffocating. You thought it would be easier by now.

You let your hands flutter down along his stomach, touching until he squirms. You follow his reaction as your own remains unsparked. Why isn’t this doing anything for you? With that toy, alone, you were almost melting. And at the thought of Dr. Kemp…

No. No. You can be good. It will work. The more you do it, the more you’ll like it.

You add Andy’s shirt to the heap and unbuckle his belt. You sense his excitement as it tightens in the bottom of his stomach. His hot breath plumes over you as you pull at his fly. You nearly break the zipper before you part the teeth. His pants fall down his legs and he steps out of the rumpled fabric.

You grab his hand and draw him further inside. He follows eagerly. Your stomach clenches, almost sickeningly. It’s probably just because you haven’t eaten since… whenever.

You glance over your shoulders. The couch… That night when it all happened. That was where it started. You can make it up right now.

You take him to the couch and he stands before it, almost proudly as you let him go. There’s a brief stalemate as you hesitate and he waits. He looms, expectantly. No stopping now.

You slide your fingers along this thick band of his briefs and pull on the elastic. He’s hard already so you have to angle around him. Your knuckles brush him and he twitches. You just tell yourself to keep going.

He steps out of his underwear as you lean back on one heel. He smirks as you twiddle your fingers. You look around and wet your dry lips.

“How do you want me?” He asks, voice brimming with barely restrained excitement.

You can only point to the couch. He sits, almost dropping down in his eagerness. He lifts a foot at a time to strip off the socks you missed.

“Should I lay down?” he prompts.

You nod.

He reclines, a long sigh escaping him as he stretches out. He props his shoulders up against the armrest and folds his arms behind his head. His dick bobs up and down as you choke out tiny breaths.

You resist the fantasy brewing at the back of your head. How often in your life did you build fantasies that could never be? Dr. Kemp wouldn’t like that. Dr. Kemp! You need to stop thinking of him.

Yet, you do. You don’t see the living room or the gray couch, you see the brown leather and smell the citrusy edge of his cologne. You come forward, in a parallel world, and climb up onto the couch. As you touch him, he shivers and groans.

When you stroke Andy, your eyes meet him but don’t see him. You’re met with another shade of iris, rich and aquamarine, gentle and affectionate. You’re almost delirious as your mind takes over, painting over the canvas with a fresh coat, a prettier coat.

It’s Steve beneath you as you swing your leg over the thick thighs. It’s him groaning and grunting as you play with him, shyly at first, then more firmly. You grip him tighter, wanting to feel him, wanting more.

A hand on your hip urges you on. You raise yourself on your knees and angle the swollen tips against your cunt. You’re wet. You could cry out in relief. You’re actually wet. But as you glide down onto the thick length, the illusion shatters.

You squeak as Andy stretches you. As you come down, he slides deeper than he ever has. The dull pain is heavy and horrible. You try to push off of him but his hands quickly grab your hips and hold you down. He wiggles his pelvis, searching for the limit.

“Ah, dove,” he moans and teethes his lip.

You slap your hands on his chest and murmur. You hang your head as you try to still him. Stop, stop, it hurts. Your pleas go unspoken as you curl your nails into his muscle. It only seems to encourage him as he tilts your hips for you.

He puts you into a rhythm. A slow tempo that has you rolling your hips, your clit rubbing against his pelvis hotly. Your touch slips up his shoulders and along his arms. You grip his biceps as you quiver and squeeze tight, gnashing your teeth at the fullness thrumming in you.

You heave in pain as it ripples down your thighs. Your spine aches, ringing with each tilts of your pelvis, pulsing up to your shoulders and down your limbs. You don’t like it.

It’s too much but you want to stop. You know you can’t. You know if you do, it will happen again. You’ll hurt him, in that moment, you really want to hurt him. You want to beat your fists on his chest and make him stop.

But you don’t. You follow the pace he sets. When he urges you on, you go faster, when he squeezes just so, you slow. You keep your eyes sealed but the tears trickle free. You sniffle as the hot streams stain your cheeks.

He brings a hand up to cradle your face, “honey, what’s wrong?” He huffs, “why are you crying?”

You shake your head and suck in your lower lip. You push his hand away from your face and keep your chin down. You twine your fingers through his as you clutch him tightly.

The world behind your eyelids shifts again. The timbre of his grunts deepen, his muscles thicken just a little, and the tension lessens just a touch. Just enough to be bearable.

In your head, the leather is sticky under your knees, the air is damp with your breath, mingling with Steve’s as he puffs up at you. His voice rolls in you, “you’re my good girl, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you babble, “yes…”

“Yeah, you’re a very good girl. Look at you being so good,” he growls.

“Yes, yes,” you nearly chant, your body driven by the fuzzy pleasure blooming inside of you. “Yes,” you buck your hips wildly, chasing the fiery release, “yes, yes, yes…”

You drone on, head lolling as you surrender to the carnal need. That desperate want. You shrilly cry out as the friction in your clit turns electric and zaps up your back. You shake and cross your arms over your chest, panting and puffing as you reach the apex of your ecstasy.

“Yes, yes, oh baby,” Andy’s groans shatters your escape. 

You blink and see the world as it is. The tendons in his neck constrict and he juts his chin out. He moves you to his whim, all control stolen back as he rocks you against him. He has a hand on your ass, the other locked around your hip. 

He snarls as he cums, spasming as you feel his release. He fills you with his delight as you barely keep yourself aloft. You brace yourself against his stomach as he slows to a lazy rock.

Your lashes flick as your head bobbles. The edges of your vision are hazy and soft, your head is throbbing, and your body is hollow and weak. Suddenly, you feel so very tired.

You let your arms fold and fall forward against Andy. You close your eyes, hiding in the darkness as your head rests on his shoulder. His heartbeat beats against you as your own feels sluggishly slow. 

Your yawns and sink against him. You’re paralysed as the fatigue consumes you. You couldn’t move if you tried. It isn’t a choice, your body is shutting down. You hear him calling for you but you don’t care

You want to sleep. Sleep means you don’t have to think. It means you don’t have to feel.

[hannamoon143]

California Dreamin'- The beach boys

Seo Changbin with California Dreamin from the Beach boys for the fall series

Genre: Angst, hurt/no comfort

Warnings: none really, reader is just a shitty person

Wordcount: 808w

a/n: this req, by @lina-linny as it seems we are getting lot more angst than fluff in the fall series lol. I'm working on it alrrr. I have some fluff in mind too, (hehe spoiler its with lix) So now as always, take ur blanket, a hot cocoa (or a coffee, man i'm craving coffee rn (no i didn't drink two cups just an hour ago)) And have a cozy falll <333

Chills went through Changbins body as he walked on the little side path, the wind seeping into his bones. When he was looking around he saw all the trees, leaves being brown, seemingly lifeless. Just like he felt. And the weather wasn’t the best for a walk either. The sky was grey. Heavy, dark clouds hovering above changbins head. With some luck he could make it home before it would start to rain. He wrapped his jacket around himself a bit tighter, watching his breath come out in little white clouds.

People were passing by, leaves were falling down, and everyone seemed to be distracted from the coldness. But changbin could never ignore it. The heavy, cold air, and his frozen hands were only a sharp reminder to you, and California. Yes, while he was here, freezing in the streets of seoul, you were in the oh so beautiful california.  When he only was thinking of the sunshine and the warm breeze there it was shaking him already. But not only the warmth of sunshine was missing for him. It was your warm hand in his. Your sunny, comforting presence next to him, that made every single day seem less cold. But what could he do? He couldn’t just fly over to california, all his responsibilites were laying on him heavily, and with the comeback album and the upcoming tour he could never leave the boys alone. And even if he’d come, would it change something between you?

But he also couldn’t convince you to come back. Not right now. You hated the cold. And probably him too right now. He didn’t even want to think of your last words before you flew off to your beloved hometown L.A.. It didn’t matter now anyway. What mattered was that you left him, here alone on seouls street in the sharp cold. Without you there to warm him, and giggle about how he would blow warm air into his hands he slowly began to despise the cold just as much as you did.

But all he could do about it was to wait. To wait and hope you would come back. Maybe in spring, when it was getting warmer again. Maybe in summer, or maybe just anytime soon. He never entirely understood why you left. When you announced you would, he was apologizing a thousand times, not even knowing what for. He was making even more time for you, if that was somehow possible, since all his free time was already yours. Could he have done more? He didn’t know. And maybe he never would. All you said was that you „needed space“, right after you complained to him about how he was not giving you enough attention. After that, he knew that all that were just excuses for you to leave, altough never entirely admitting it to himself. He didn’t know if space was for you to stay away for a few days or weeks, or just your way of breaking up with him.

The cold was getting suffocating, and it felt as if it only added to his heavy, anxious thoughts. There was a little church by the sidewalk. He didn’t think much into it and just went in, hoping the cold would be less intese in there.

He got down to his knees pretending to pray. It just didn’t feel right to use the church only to clear his thoughts or make the cold go away. Especially when a preacher was standing in the front oft he church, a few people listening.

But now, without the walking it only got colder. Until now, Changbin still tried to talk your actions and words good, to somehow romanticize everything, but now, as the  cold seeped not only into his bones, also into his mind, he started to see clear. Your words were an excuse to leave. And nothing more. An excuse to maybe come back, or maybe not. It was all in your own hands, and options were open for you, since you could do your job from everywhere too, and your family would surely like if you’d stay in california. But deep inside he probably knew you weren’t gonna come back. And somewhere in him, he promised himself to let you go, to not wait for you forever, with no idea if you’d come back or not.

But in this moment, he could feel the cold stone under his knees, hear the wind howl around the walls of the little church, and smell the cold autumn. In this moment, all he could do was dream of california, of you. If he was there with you right now, he would be way warmer for sure. But this wasn’t going to happen. And sooner or later he had to accept that. He had to stop with the california dreamin someday…

[bluesylveon2]

And At Last I See the Light

This is my entry for the @merotwst and @cvlutos' contest. Also, I heard that it was your birthday, so happy birthday to @merotwst!!! Thank you for answering all of my questions, even though I started writing his a few days ago. I hope you like this fic I word vomited wrote based on "I See the Light" from Tangled (it's my favorite Disney song and it screamed Jamil) 😁

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

Note: Reader is referred to as "the Prefect" and is female, set during Book 5 (let's pretend that Jamil can sneak and the snow has melted some), and lots of symbolism

Word Count: 1246

Warnings: not beta read, possible OOC characters, and lots of exposition in the beginning

Jamil was used to being below Kalim. No matter if it was in studies, exercises, or games, Kalim had to outshine him in it all. If Kalim was a warm sunny day in the summer, then Jamil was a cold dark night in the winter. 

Everyone preferred the summer, just as everyone preferred Kalim. 

No one looked Jamil’s way. No one asked about how he felt. No one wanted to spend their days in the moonlight when they could sleep until sunrise. In short, no one wanted him to shine his light on them. In turn, Jamil was blinded by the sun that he could not see the world around him. The male was subjected to dreaming about a life where he was free.  

When Jamil saw his life become stagnant, he was determined to change it. The air became colder, and the night was longer when Jamil enacted his plan. Unfortunately, his plan was ruined by the Ramshackle Prefect, her cat monster, and the annoying Octanvielle trio. 

Life after the incident had slightly improved. He still served Kalim, but the Housewarden started seeing him as equal despite their positions. Jamil would not say it aloud, but it was a small step in the right direction. 

Another change included his relationship with the Prefect. The two had gotten on friendlier terms after he made up for trapping her and Grim in Scarabia and dealing with his overblot (read: he made a big apology meal for her and helped with anything she asked). The two had become even closer during the VDC training camp. 

It was during the time when the snow began to melt, and after everyone was asleep, was when the Prefect would stargaze outside the dorm. However, all except one was asleep the first time it happened. Jamil, having to be constantly alert in case an assassin was nearby, woke up to the sound of a creaking floor down the hall. He grabbed his magical pen and followed a dark shadow heading out of the dorm. He maintained a reasonable distance from the figure until the moonlight hit the figure’s frame. Jamil realized that the person he followed was the Prefect all along. An average person would immediately turn around and go back to sleep, but his feet moved automatically, and he joined her instead.

That night, Jamil had stayed up for hours getting to know the Prefect without using a fake persona or with no ill intentions. The Prefect treated him like she had known him for a long time. She had even defended him when Vil questioned Jamil’s eyebags that morning. Usually, Jamil would have told the truth, but he enjoyed spending alone time with the Prefect. He learned more about the Prefect’s world and her love of stargazing. In turn, the Prefect learned about different places Jamil wanted to see. 

Their nightly stargazing continued during his time at the training camp. After a few nights, Jamil realized how blind he was about everything. 

All his days were spent watching outside the windows of Kalim’s house. All of the years of the world moving, he yearned to see it. He never knew if anyone would look his way or ask anything about him, yet that person was in front of him all along. That person was sitting beside him, basking in the moonlight, retelling a story about an incident regarding her friends and the Heartslabyul Housewarden. It was when she laughed that Jamil saw everything clearly. His heartbeat increased, his body felt light, and he began to think about the Prefect more throughout the day. Jamil realized that night that he would follow the Prefect to the ends of the world. He wanted to show her the world because he knew she was where he was meant to go.

When the Prefect first arrived at Twisted Wonderland, she dreamed of when she would finally return to her world. Her mind was focused on going home and initially tried to ignore the world around her. However, she began to doubt her dream after meeting Grim, ADeuce, and the other NRC students. One person who stood out to her was Jamil Viper. Her perspective of him changed after the incident in Scarabia. She forgave him after everything because she saw his true self and how amazing and talented he was. The Prefect never looked down on him or saw him as average. She treated him as an equal.

Now, as the Prefect lay on the soft blanket at a short distance next to the male in question, she realized something as they stared at the twinkling stars in content silence. During her months of staying in this world, of her blindly hoping for the better, she grew to love how things were. The Prefect had love from her friends, entertainment from the Ramshackle ghosts, and support from her professors. Most importantly, she had Jamil. Although Kalim was the sun personified, she always noticed Jamil despite him staying in the shadows. Now, everything seemed crystal clear; she saw him. He was a light that felt warm and real, like sunshine on a summer day. 

“Hey, Jamil?” The Prefect turned to the raven-haired male, and he hummed in response. “What is your favorite season?”

Jamil raised an eyebrow and turned his head to the Prefect, “what’s with the sudden question?”

The Prefect turned to stare into Jamil’s gray eyes, “I’m just curious. So what is it?”

“Summer, because summers in the Scalding Sands are nice. It is also a good time to take a vacation.”

The Prefect chuckled, “You deserve one, Jamil.”

Jamil nodded in agreement, “What is your favorite season?”

“Definitely winter.”

Jamil raised an eyebrow, “Really? Why?”

“Well, there is snow and lots of fun holidays. The nights are longer too. In summer, the nights are short, so the moon is not out for long,” The Prefect looked up at the bright full moon, “In winter, the moon is out longer, like now. I like to use that time to look up and stare at it. I prefer it more than the sun. Besides-” The Prefect glanced at Jamil, “Don’t you think the moon looks beautiful tonight?”

Jamil felt his breath hitch. He could not explain it, but the Prefect’s words seemed to impact him unexpectedly. Jamil thanked the darkness for covering up his blush, and he prayed that she could not hear his rapid heartbeat. 

Meanwhile, the Prefect was having an internal battle about her boldness. Jamil may not know the implications behind her words, but she meant everything. She would focus on spending time with him and let him see another day.  

“Yeah. It really is,” The Prefect’s eyes widen due to Jamil’s voice sounding closer than before. She turned her head and was face to face with him, with his eyes staring straight at her. Both had red faces.

They stared at each other like it was their first time seeing the light. Their hidden feelings began to reveal as if the fog around them had lifted, the sky was anew, and the world shifted to focus on them. No one knew whose hands moved first, but Jamil had one hand on the Prefect’s cheek while both of her hands cupped his face. They moved closer until their lips barely touched each other. 

Now they saw each other as a new light grew between them. The two people complimented each other like summer and winter, or the sun and the moon.

A/N: I'm kinda proud of it although I wish I started later. Again, I hope you liked it @merotwst. Jamil is my favorite character so I hope I did him justice!

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.