#i heard theres one abt noelle....?

[calamarispiderart]

youre in my head, despite my wishes ... [i hate you]

[sunnydotorg]

heyy im a comics nerd so i just wanted 2 say i’ve read both nimona and snotgirl, and theyre both,, pretty darn good queer rep. (although in nimona, nothing happens in canon, it has been confimed as a queer relationship.) its also by noelle stevenson, who i think is most famous for the she ra reboot but i know her from comics! and snotgirl is one of my faves of all time,, but it is very bloody just be warned! lots of murder and all that. but its got like. SO many canon queer characters (although the relationships arent always the healthiest, be warned.) Unfortunatly, snotgirl has been on hiatus for a while now, and theres no clear date to when its back. But, because of that, they’ve released all of the issues into three volumes which helps if u dont have a comic store near you (or one that sells comics from smaller labels) also. if you ever need recs let me know!! i mostly read indie stuff, but its been a special intrest since childhood so its always nice to see posts abt comics on my dash!!

ooh that’s rlly neat tysm 4 telling me !! snotgirl sounds rlly interesting based on what i’ve heard abt it and i ADORE the art style so i might order it :0i didn’t know it was by noelle stevenson, i’ve never seen she-ra but i know a lot of my friends like it !! :D

[ogeeitsme]

What's your experience with dormancy?

TW: Sui// mentions / comparisons / death comprsns- this is both positive n negtve b aaa

This is a long post so I’m srry <:^/

Theres 2 ways 2 answr this: how we second hand experience it, n then how we experience it in our systm:

How we secondhand experience it

Turns out, more than once, apprntly, drmncy has actlly been used as a, threat?? DKDJDKN we got som rlly old memories abt Jamie meeting a “System” (idk if they’re a sys, it’s such a long story) n He used drmncy 2 guilt trip her (n she ddnt even kno what systm was @ the time dkhdbddb)

Anywy besides that HUGE outlier, it’s kinda,, rough, bc ur askin 4 our experiences, not our views, so when it comes 2 secondhand drmncy, as in like other systms not us- it’s alwys hard

N it’s RLLY funny ur askin this rn anon bc coincidntlly we just came out of a WHOLE frickin sitch that involved secndhnd drmncy experiencs (again, I mean watching ppl in other systms go dormant)

Like, Jamie’s prev ex had, ppl go dormant, like a lot of em, bc they broke up, n 2 of their mmbrs bsclly sent me wht can be equivlnt 2 a sui note- n I got that note frm bsclly som1 equivlnt 2 my brthr, @ the time, n Sal’s brthr [@ the time] bc they shared the blog

We r rlly close 2 anthr sys whose host wnt drmnt 4 som big rsns (they also have trauma abt ppl using drmncy as an escape route frm their actions, man life b wild huh?) n jst came back so that was rlly wild n hard bc she was (n is) like a mom figure 4 us, esp 2 Peter, n their whole sys, bc they’re median, kinda crashed in on itself tmprrly n it was rlly hard 2 watch KDH it makes u kind of mad @ those ppl who cause othr ppl 2 go thru sm pain thta they jst go drmnt u kno?

But rounding back 2 Jamie’s ex (n I g the 1st exmple 2 b vaguely), that was rlly hard, n bc of that, drmncy is smth we can’t unsee as death anymr

Hey so disclaimer that won’t b in the tags (Bc som ppl dnt read them) n I will pit here just in case: yes we kno dormancy is NOT equal 2 death, dormancy always has the chance of them coming back, b w how we spcfclly exprncd these, it felt that way, esp w the goodbyes, n the crying, n how they litrlly treated it as sui//. Not 2 mention the Older trauma Jamie had/has where His “systm” litrlly said “do u miss him? Well he’s dead now”

It’s hard 2 uncorrel8 them- bc it dpnds on how u go thru it- and anthr disclaimer is that if it’s a drmncy in ur own systm, the brain may b able 2 visualize it as a death, heck som systms we kno have a “graveyard” where all the drmnt systm mmbrs end up in; and of som jst “disappear” n I heard anthr sys in their headspace it’s seen as like pods? Where u can c them sleepin?

Anywy back 2 us- KDNDKNDKN yea, our experiences w it so far has been rel8d 2,,, sui or death :^( not counting the ppl we pass by in random srvrs who talk abt it, this is jst our prsnl ones esp tied 2 systms we were (or r) RLLY close 2

IDK we’re still grieving over Larry n Asriel frm Her systm. Pls don’t send asks saying “they mite come back” btw KJSKHS they mite b even if they do we can’t Talk, their sys is an ex 4 a rsn

Inner-system exprnces

HM so there’s a lot 2 write here b we dnt- uslly have ppl who r nice, go drmnt

It used 2 b only all the very bad persecutors who wld rlly harm every1 who wld go drmnt, our psychiatrist even said, 2 calm Jamie dwn a long time ago when she was given anti psychotics, that the “good ppl wnt go away, only the bad ppl”

b they (those old persecuted) all went drmnt thru,,,,, d//ath, n I dnt wnna talk abt that or how, this is not how we wrk anymr

Then we have Deanne, she was a persecutor who was chngng 4 the bttr, b it’s like,,,, when she realized she didn’t have 2 b bad anymr? She went drmnt?? Like I rmmbr (I wsnt there but u kno shared memory) every1 feeling she slowly faded away until we realized she wsnt arnd

Aftr that, we stoppd having drmncies, b we do label ppl who mite b close 2 drmncy msbmdb (edit: nvm, I rmmbrd Alven n Peyton who went drmnt :^( we miss them, Alven was Matt’s dad n Oeyton was a rlly good ISH )

Bc they’re “not needed” N LISTN anthr disclaimer, by THAT I mean natural dormancies? Not 2 say u go drmnt randomly, I mean that sometimes som1 isn’t active enough or their role isn’t needed as mch,, it’s scary I kno, b it can hppn n it’s no1’s fault, it’s not even their fault,i t jst happns, n that my good anon is a bite sized expln8ion on y u mite have ppl come out of drmncy mhsbkdbdkb

Uhh, we have som ppl who r afraid of going drmnt tho ofc,, n they r trying 2 b as active as they can in sys inspace so they dnt fade

Bc if u dnt wnna b dormnt, trying 2 b more active can hlp!

So,,, we a,so have ppl who came frm drmncy,,,

N that’s Jade, Beia, n Chompy

Apprntly Jade n Beia were frm arnd the same time? Actlly it’s fnny bc we thought Jade was a split of Noelle b we were bamboozled bc it wasnt the case

N then u have chompy,,, which is rlly sad,, bc she cnt rmmbr the year b we found out it was frm arnd 3 yrs old,,, that rlly sucks- she’s a fictive of Chain Chomp n came out of drmncy in a new form (Chompette) smdbndb according 2 Jade n Beia they dnt rmmbr wht hppnd, b it’s like they fell asleep n woke up again

N w Chompy, she explains it as like, , she was a chain chomp, n was chained 2 the back of the headspace, n bc she accepted she cldnt do anyth, faded in2 drmncy bc she gave up? B now she’s back n wants 2 fite,dkbdmdb until, stuff I wnt get in2

I’m not done KDH

Lastly I wanna talk abt,,,, how we feel abt it

I dnt think drmncy shld b smth 2 b afraid of— BUT @ the same time it’s OK 2 b afraid of it, or 2 h8 it, or 2 feel ANYTH abt it bc, almost all the time it’s not ur own choice 2 do so (half the time, based on what we’ve seen, etc)

Sometimes, ppl will c it as a mmbr fnlly resting, sometimes it’s sudden n @ least in the mmnt (or mayb ull never kno), ther dsnt seem 2 b a strong rsn on y it hopnd

Som will c it as death, som will say it’s scary, n som accept it’s a part of being a sys,,, that this happens, n that it will b ok

Bc,,, they can come back, mayb, n that’s sys life

4 us we feel ALL of those @ once

I wnt lie <:^) 4 som oldr mmbrs, we hope they dnt come back, b then 4 som we hope they do com back, n it’s this balance of trying not 2 b toxic-positive n trying not 2 erase the hope if we do wnt them 2 com back

IDK it’s so— mssy Bc u shld allow urself 2 grieve- bc dormancy CAN feel like death (frm an obsrvr?), n o man the syscourse that exists @ the mere mention of treating drmncy like death? Scares me, n I jst wnna put it out ther that it involves a lot of grieving somtimes,,,m yes, it can b traumatic depending on how said dormancy was brought 2 ur attention or knwldge

4 us we’e still grieving over that last mssg frm them, we’re angry 4 those who went drmnt n also @ Them who went drmnt? Idk man

TLDR don’t- I repeat- do NOT,,,,, treat drmncy as the answr

If ur in a systm out ther, I kno it hard, n frick, drmncy is such a complic8d topic in systems period, b drmncy is not the answ

Bc yes drmncy is not prmnnt 4 som systms, (n by prmnnt I mean that sys mite jst not have awakenings as common @ all; every sys is diff) b drmncy is,,, most of the time a scary thought 4 systms

It’s- it’s not sui litrlly, b,,, it;s,, is almost similar IF- n I repeat- if it’s used as an escape, esp in a bad way

N like w sui// we wnt entirely blame you if @ all, b it’s sad- n it’s hard

Bc like ”irl” ppl arnd u who care r affctd- n knowing it’s by ur own hand is hard 2 accept

Bro, anon my dude, I’m so srry this is such a messy post KDNKDND our exprnces w it is so recent n it’s SUCH a complic8d topic 2 discuss w/o fear of ppl yelling @ u abt spreading misinfo

We’re a rlly big outlier 2 the usual sys exp w dormancies bc we’ve had SO many exprncs of it being rel8d 2 sui/ of death from othr systms Onesides our own), n it’s not jst random systems, it systems who we were close 2 n we got hurt by

I dnt wnna talk abt whether or not what we experiencs was real b yea thats our experiences n not the resources,, since that’s the question KNS