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iwadori · 4 years ago

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When they neglect you for another girl Part 4 (Sakusa)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

AN: YES I DID PUT MYSELF IN THIS STORY! SUE ME. This is basically inspired by a random conversation i had w the great @teesumu, so this is basically for you doll <3

Sakusa:

You and Sakusa have been together for a around 10 years and love eachother immensly.

However recently Sakusa has been busy and you havent really had much time together lately as he claims been busy doing loads of visits with his new agent.

But of course, being the loving partner you are you wanted to revive the spark in your relationship.

You have been seeing a lot of people on social media posting their aesthetic ‘picnic dates,’ and you knew that this was something that appealed to you before it was ‘on trend.’ Kiyoomi immediately came to your mind once you had the idea of going on a date. You knew that you haven’t be around each other lately, as Kiyoomi always had either a ‘meeting’ or some sort of ‘interview’ that his new agent “Empress” has set up for him.

You didn’t really know Empress that well, just that she was ‘good at her job,’ a ‘hard and dilligent worker,’ and a ‘raging hottie’ with Atsumu’s opinion being the last one. You weren’t suspecting her to have any malicious intent towards you or Kiyoomi, since you knew that he had a great judge of character. But it was just odd, that every time Kiyoomi was running late or having ‘super-secret’ conversations on the phone it was always because ‘my agent set up this,’ ‘my agent set up that,’ and that’s what left you a bit wary.

As you were scrolling through your phone you see a calendar updating saying : Next Week‘ A DECADE AGO WE FELL IN LOVE.’

10 years. How could you forget? You and Omi have literally been together for a decade. You think back to the decade of madness and love you’ve been through together, smiling fondly to yourself but then you think about where you are now... barely even talking to each other, only mainly seeing him when he comes home from work.

You need to fix this. Or at least make an attempt to get you and Kiyoomi talking again. So, the only thing you can do, is plan that picnic.

You spent the rest of the day planning your anniversary picnic. ’It’s going to be great,’ you think to yourself, you have a list of all Omi’s favorite foods you're going to make him and bring and you are probably going to pick up a few board games and maybe even get some paint supplies. You and Kiyoomi used to paint a lot together, with the two of you not being the best of painters, but you enjoyed eachothers company non the less.

Everything was sorted...for the most part. All you needed to do was get Omi there, and it’ll all be okay. Right? As you were bubbling and looking for more picnic inspo, you hear your front door open which made you even more excited to tell your boyfriend your plans.

As you rush to go greet him, you see he’s on the phone making you roll your eyes. “No Empress it won’t work, we need this sorted by next week. Okay? Next week.” he says in an agitated way. He hangs up the phone and sighs, shoving off his duffel bag.

“Hey Omi, how was your day?” you say a bit hesitant, noticing his annoyed mood.

“Fine” He said dismissively, aiming to walk past you aiming for your bedroom.

“Oh well I have something amazing planned for ne-” you try to say following after him.

“Can we not do this right now Y/N,” he says again turning too look at you making you frown a bit, all you wanted to do is surprise him with your plans and have a day out with him. After noticing your sad look he finishes with “it’s just that Empress she’s bee-”

“I don’t want to hear about her.” you say bitterly folding your arms, Empress is the last person you want to hear about right now “God Omi can’t you just care about me? For once.”

“I do I-”

“You don’t anymore,” you say, with all the emotions and feelings you’ve been just supressing from a while coming up. You don’t even know how you got from point A to B with this conversation, but there's no stopping now. “I feel that, for a while now we haven’t been how we were before when we were just Y/N and Kiyoomi. Instead of how we are now. Just Y/N. Then Kiyoomi and Empress.”

After hearing his agents name, Kiyoomi’s name contorts to confusion “Empress? What does she have to do with anything?”

“How can you not see? For the past month all it’s been is ‘Empress this’ ‘Empress that,’” you complain “Having your super secret conversations with her, like god Kiyoomi can’t you see a problem with this?”

“It’s not like that Y/N, we’re just work partners” he says looking a bit annoyed “Just business.”

“Just business? So Kiyoomi, what were you talking about on the phone earlier” you say with your voice slight accusingly.

“Umm I, I can’t really say?” he says more of a question then a fully assured statement. You squint your eyes at him and scoff.

“What is going on with you Omi?” you say “are you cheating on me with her is that it?”

“No, no of course not Y/N! How could you even ask that?” he frowned at your question making your chest hurt, since deep down you knew he could never do that to you. Could he?

“Well tell me then, what were you talking about?” you ask again.

“I can’t say..” he finishes

“Well I can’t stay.” you say and his face goes back to confusion “Here. With you.”

“What do you mean Y/-”

“I need a break or something. I just can’t be here right now.” You start to rush and pack a big of things whilst Kiyoomi just stands there.

After you pack up your stuff, you look back and see Kiyoomi just there. Standing. You were upset, you kind of wanted him to rush after you and beg you not to leave, but he was just there. Standing. So you put the hand on the door and just before you leave you turn back and say “bye Sakusa, see you later?” to which you see him slightly nod at.

When the door shut, Kiyoomi starts to cry. After hearing you call him by his last name really twisted the knife that was already in his heart. You haven’t called him that since you were like 15. He knew what you wanted; he knew you wanted him to rush towards you and beg you not to leave, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what he could do is call the one person he only could call.

After a few rings, he hears “What do you need Saku?”

“She’s gone, she left.”

“What do you mean she’s gone, did you tell her?”

“No I didn’t tell her. And that’s the problem, Empress she think-”

“Saku, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it?”

“Don’t I always?”

He couldn’t argue with that, he just had to trust that Empress could sort it. “And also, don’t spend the week with your head up your ass crying, you’ve got a lot of grovelling to do kiddo.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, as he knew that what just went down needed to be resolved, fast.

Meanwhile, on your end. You’re a mess. Sobbing all the time, tissues are your best friend, you’ve been waiting just waiting for a message or a call, or some form of communication. You just wanted to feel wanted by your boyfriend (can you even call him that now.)

You spent the rest of the week at your parents, immersing yourself in your work and doing ‘self care’ things, trying to forget all about the argument you and Kiyoomi had.

One day, you receive a letter, it wasn’t delivered by a mail man though. It was slid under your door, in a golden envelope sealed with a red hot wax seal. It read:

‘Dear Y/N,

My sweetheart, im sorry for how the week has been and I know a letter with only a fraction of how I feel won’t make up for how I acted that day. But im inviting you to join me at the Gardenia Botanical Gardens at 2 pm tommorow, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.

I know there is a big chance, you may not want to see me and I understand but please. I love you, so so much, that words can’t even describe. But I need you to see me apologise and I need to make it up to you.

I hope to see you there, I’d wait the whole day for you. If you don’t show, I understand.

Sincerely, Sakusa Kiyoomi

P.S The theme is ‘summer hot day, tea with the queen’ - Atsumu’

You smile at the letter, but wonder if you should actually go or not. You did want to see him of course and get this all resolved, but you had your own plans for your anniversary which wouldn’t of been spoiled if he didn’t withhold his super-secret phone calls.

It took you hours to contemplate on what to do, but you decided to just sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. In the morning, you knew what you wanted to do. Of course, you had to go, at least to hear him out and see if he really did cheat on you or not. For all you know he’s inviting you to tell you that he’s going to run away with his agent and his secret kids they had together. You shook the negative thoughts from your head and just repeated your mantra ‘hope for the best and prepare for the worst.’

When you got there, you didn’t exactly know where he would be but he said ‘botanical gardens’ so of course you decided to just wander around there. It was nice walking around and just smelling the roses, and seeing the pretty scenery.

“Excuse me ma’am,” you hear someone say tugging on your leg “um that mister over there told me to give you these.” Looking down, you see a small boy who looked about the age of four with a crumpled up bunch of roses handing them to you.

“Oh thank you,” you say giving the kid a head pat “where is this ‘mister’ might I ask?”

“He’s over there!” The kid pointed behind him and you look to see Kiyoomi sitting under a white gazebo which is surrounded in your favorite flowers and the table is filled with food.

You walk over to your ‘boyfriend,’ with him not noticing your present yet. When you reach him you say “I think she stood you up buddy,” you joke making him jump abit startled.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, instantly beaming “You came you made it!” he stood up and pulled you into a hug, which you return before you remember why you came here in the first place.

“Oh I-” he says awkwardly

You decide to sit down pulling him down with you. You kind of sit there in uncomfortable silence, for a while until you both say.

“So I-”

“What are yo-”

You both laughed at your simultaneous comments, before Kiyoomi looks at you letting you speak. “What did you want to bring me here for?”

“I didn’t want, what happened last week to happen Y/N I-” he says looking a bit panicked “It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“Then how was it meant to go Sakusa.”

“Y/N, please don’t call me that, I know I made you upset but pleas-” he starts before getting distracted again “Y/N, I called you here to say a few things..”

“Them being.?” you ask a bit impatiently.

“I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even understand. Ever since I saw you at my volleyball game in our first year, in the stands just cheering us on. I knew that from that day, after I scored the winning point and our eyes met, that we were destined to be together. I just love you so much Y/N”

“Omi I don’t understand I-”

“Just let me finish please, It’s taken a while for me to say this. And trust me, there’s been so many times when I wanted to just say ‘hey Y/N let’s get married,’ but I couldn’t I was scared, and I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect. Because you deserve the world Y/N. That’s why I got Empress to help, I know that our conversations may seem odd, but I love you and she knows that she just wanted to help trust me. And she did, all this wouldn’t of been done if it wasn’t for her. But anyways Y/N what I waned to say was I love you and I love you and I-” he rambles on loosing track of his words.

But in the midst of his speech, you hear all that you needed and responded with the only way you can.

“Yes.” you say simply, with a growing smile on your face.

“Yes?” he repeats confused “What do you meann ye- ohhh" Kiyoomi blushes embarrased that after all that he ended up ruining the thought out proposal he wanted to give you with his ramble.

“Im sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to say it like that I wanted it to be perfect and I-”

You shut him up with a kiss making his eyes widen as he reciprocates it anyways.

“What did she say?” you hear someone shout from a far, and you look over to see the MSBY Jackals all standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

“I said yes!” you yell back, to which they all cheer and rush towards you guys giving you both hugs and slapping Kiyoomi on the back.

As the boys celebrate Omi finnally do what he’s been planning for ages, you get approached by Empress who awkwardly walks up to you. “ I didn’t want to leave the impression that me and Saku were any sort of thing?” she says

“Yeah I think it was definitely a big misunderstanding, it’s just that Omi was never around and whenever he was he was just talking to you and you know how it is.”

“I definitely know, I’d feel the same way if my boyfriend did that to me.”

“Oooh boyfriend?” you ask her feeling nosey on her romantic life.

“Yeah boyfriend. You know iwaizumi hajime... the trainer?” she says smiling a bit when she said his name.

“The trainer! Nice.”

The rest of the night was fun and was basically an engagement party for you and Omi all you and friends just partying and celebrating yours and Omi’s love for each other. “Omi” you say getting his attention “Happy ten year anniversary babe”

“Happy anniversary, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

After the party you spend your months now planning for a big fat wedding, with the help of your new found bestie, Empress (who you obviously misjudged from the start.) You and Omi could never be happier, every thing was back to how it was before, maybe even better. And you definitely spent at least two Saturdays a month going out for picnics and it was now a tradition in your relationship, so in the end you did get your ‘aesthetic picnic date.’

AN: WHAT DID U GUYS THINK??

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyuu fluff #sakusa x you #sakusa headcanons #haikyu angst #sakusa fluff #sakusa x reader #sakusa oneshot #haikyu sakusa #signedwithane😌

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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years ago

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Little Border Town Pt. 3

Summary: It begins with a man and a woman, as it always seems to. One lives in France and the other lives in Italy, technically, but they’re also neighbors. Various issues arise between these two and they can’t ever seem to see eye to eye on anything. Will they ever move past their petty fighting or is the little town they live in doomed to only gossip about what Harry and Y/N are fighting about today?

Part 3: the one with the boat and the beginning of a storm

IT’S BEEN AGESSSS I AM SO SO SORRY I LOVE YALL SO MUCH AND EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER READ THIS THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT

also harry is wearing this fit in this part just no tie?? i think i cant remember

college has been incredibly crazy this year already and i just dont have time to write like i did before i went back. i honestly had this mostly finished and i havent reread so i have no idea what even happens so lmk what you think, i can’t imagine that it will get a lot of notes but if it did id be very happy about that - anyways lots of love and feedback appreciated as always...pls enjoy

Word Count: 6.6k | Warnings: ?? Swearing? idek, more yearning bc slow burn

Catch up here! part 1 | 2 |

“Isn’t the weather not ideal for boat sailing today,” she ponders as her face looks up at the sky. She’s walking into Harry’s store again after running back to her place to grab a jacket and lock up. She placed a notecard in the door’s window that says “closed today, see you tomorrow” with a smiling face as punctuation.

Harry grins, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He had sailing boots on his feet with a smart big-collared printed shirt and marigold trousers. Instead of a belt, he had suspenders that matched the color of his pants and a pearl necklace as his final accessory other than his rings. He must have repainted his nails this morning because they were a light lavender shade that hadn’t been noticeable last night.

“It’s just fine. We’re entering fall and the sun is out today!” He gestures to the sky above them and she nods in agreement that the sun is indeed out. However she wasn’t sure if she’d categorize it as a nice day to go out on the sea still. With the sun there were also many clouds, they were mostly white and fluffy, but she was sure they could turn sinister any moment.

“Ready?” He beams.

“As I’ll ever be.”

On the boat, Y/N felt her stomach churning. Was she giddy or unnerved? Likely, both.

Harry was tying the boat off the dock after helping her onto the deck. It wasn’t a huge boat, not a yacht or anything, but it also wasn’t a tiny sailboat. It had an upper deck where maybe four people - at most - could comfortably be. Then a lower deck, inside a hatch in the upper deck. She couldn’t discern how much space was down there, but she was sure Harry would show her. He was talking through everything he was doing on the boat. Ad nauseum for an extremely nontechnical girl, such as herself.

Still, she sat in the spot he had directed her to next to the closed hatch and watched him move gracefully around the boat. Maneuvering the sails and different parts of the boat was a dance for Harry. Each step, each twist and knot, moved by a song unknown to her. It was beautiful. He was completely in his element, surprisingly. Again, Harry surprised her. She knew he had a boat, but whenever she thought of a jerk with a boat she didn’t think of what she was seeing with her own eyes. It was beautiful - or at least, it would be, if he’d shut his big mouth that was now making her roll her eyes as he made a pun about boats.

“So,” Harry starts finally, finishing up whatever he needed to do to get the boat off the dock and on the path he wanted. They were moving out into open water, she could see the little town, but it was growing smaller by the minute. Her stomach churned again as she looked up at the man she had just trusted to take her out onto the ocean. She grimaced slightly at the thought.

“Do you want to see the inside?” he continued.

She nods eagerly, “Finally!”

He chuckles lightly before opening up the hatch and gesturing for her to go first. She looks at him hesitantly.

“This isn’t a trap right? It’s not going to be all...murder-y down there?” Her voice is pitched higher, she’s almost completely serious.

This time Harry’s laugh comes from his belly, almost doubling over at the word ‘murder-y’. Between laughs, he tries to reassure her. “God no...oh my god.” More laughter, then a deep breath. “The only evil entity on this boat is the diavola I invited on here,” he gestures to her standing in front of him and her eyes narrow. Displeasure washing over her features.

“You’re ridiculous,” her hand swats at his sternum before she turns from him and climbs down to the underdeck area.

When she’s down, she’s surprised with her surroundings and she doesn’t notice Harry follow quickly behind her. It’s neat and stylish. Well, she’s not completely surprised, Harry was very fashionable. But the neatness dissipated all thoughts of the improbable scenario where Harry had lured her on his boat to murder her. It was what she had been freaking out over when she had at first refused to enter.

There was a small daybed at the end of the hall that doubled as a couch, a door to a bathroom, a dining area, a kitchenette, and then the random area they were standing in. It wasn’t super spacious, it was a hallway with things around it, but it was clean and it smelled nice. Everything had a place and they were neatly put in their places. After a moment, she turned at the feeling of Harry’s presence behind her.

He grinned, scanning the areas her eyes had just taken in for the first time. His green eyes were filled with admiration. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah, smells like you.” She nods matter of factly.

“Huh?” His head whips to her, sure he hadn’t heard her right.

“The whole place is very you,” she looks away from him and walks down the hall to the daybed and takes a seat, “Styles-ish.”

He follows quickly behind, shaking his head out of his own thoughts.

He mumbles a thanks, not catching the play on words she’d used with his last name. She smiles to herself, pleased. He stands in the doorway, not really wanting to sit beside her. Maybe he didn’t trust himself with being in such close proximity with her anymore. No, not after last night.

Her eyes widen slightly when he leans against the doorway and crosses his arms. The sleeves of his button-up had been rolled up when he had been working with the sails. Her lips suddenly are dry and she wets them with her tongue, eyes moving to the fabric of the blanket she’s sat on top of.

“I meant to say,” Harry breaks the silence, obviously not a fan of the quiet. A hand leaves his pose and runs through his hair, rings classically tugging at his curls. He swallows before he speaks again, “Thanks, uh, for stopping me last night. That would’ve been weird…”

He trails off and her eyes go wide again, but now they’re trained on his face. His eyes are downcast now, watching the way light plays off his rings. She tries to make out the sound in his voice, the expression he’s trying to hide with indifference. Her teeth tug her bottom lip into her mouth as she thinks, silence once again taking hold of the small, small room. The air is tense, static, unmoving, the complete opposite of the water that rushes just outside the walls of the boat.

She clears her throat and Harry locks eyes with her, “No problem...alcohol and atmosphere, clouds the head. I get it.” She did, but she also hadn’t wanted the gratitude Harry had just placed on her.

“You booze, you lose,” he smiles, straightening up and she looks at him quizzically.

“That’s such an odd phrase.”

“No it’s not!”

“It’s a play on ‘you snooze, you lose’ right?” She leans forward, face looking smugly up at Harry’s offended face.

“Well, yeah,” Harry admits.

“I can’t believe you made that up and got it tattooed,” She states breezily and then stands. She brushes past him to look around the rest of the cabin.

Harry scoffs, not even noticing the way her fingers had brushed over his naked forearm as she passed, too focussed on his indignation. “How’d you know about the tattoo?”

“Naked neighbor? Never closing his shade? Do you seriously need a refresher course already? Seriously, boat boy, I really thought you were smarter than that,” She talks as she snoops around the different parts of the cabin. She pokes at figurines and looks at little photos and paintings. Her head looks over her shoulder and she laughs happily at Harry’s face of irritation. It was so easy to push his buttons.

“Don’t call me boat boy,” he seethes, but she knows he’s not really mad. More like he’s a child who got told no dessert before dinner. A laugh rocks through her body again and bubbles to the surface. It causes Harry to soften, this time there’s no alcohol in his system to account for the feeling he just felt. He mirrors the smile she has. That is until she reaches the kitchenette and finds a rack of CDs sitting beside the sink.

She turns from him and begins to leaf through them, most of them are artists she recognizes. But then she reaches some that are just titled “Demo” with various numbers beside the word. Her fingers nimbly pick out “Demo #1” and turn back to Harry with an inquisitive gaze. His green eyes are bigger than usual, the smile gone from his face.

“These from the boy band days?” She smiles wider as he turns a little red. She crosses closer to him, remembering the sight of a cd player in the main area where the entrance to the cabin was.

“Erm..no.” She flips around again, confused again, but then it dawns on her. “Demos for my solo work.”

“That you put on hold to take over for your Uncle.”

“Great Uncle.” He corrects.

“I know.” She waited a second, where she was about to be quick to play the CD, she now wanted to get Harry’s permission. It might be a little more personal than she had first thought. “Can we listen to this one? You’d technically be taking me up on the request to play for me sometime.”

“Yeah, they’re rough - obviously. So if you could try to not bruise my ego, at least not more than you usually do,” he grins and she looks at him with dead eyes. A smile cracks on her face quickly, still.

“I wouldn’t...this is different,” she struggles to find the right words. She would never make fun of something he cared a lot about, not now. She wasn’t that person, it was odd to think he maybe saw her like that. She shook away the thought and focused on placing the CD in its player correctly.

The first song begins to play, he’s right it is rough, it’s a demo. There’s no backing vocals or beat of any kind. Just a voice and a guitar. And it’s amazing. After the guitar intro, she lets out a breath she had been holding when she hears the voice. His voice. It’s beautiful. And she’s shocked, her eyes flash to Harry. He’s nibbling at his bottom lip, watching her hear it for the first time. His voice from all those years ago.

“Brooklyn saw me empty at the news, there’s no water inside this swimming pool.”

Her eyes light up again at the lyrics and she smiles, finding it melancholic yet slightly funny at the same time. It was interesting, the words, his voice, the meaning. Some bits of information eluded her, but she knew she enjoyed the song.

“And I’ve been praying, I never did before.”

Even as the song moved on from this one lyric, she felt it replaying in her head as she watched the singer in front of her. Years older than he had been when he had written this song. She was filled with questions and paused the CD as the guitar faded out.

“That’s it?” Harry laughs, “Just one song? It was really that horrible?”

“Oh my god, no!” She is emphatic, needing Harry to understand she’s serious. She takes a step closer to his figure. He had traveled closer to her while the song had played. They were almost chest to chest and her hand goes out to touch his forearm. “I really liked it, genuinely. I just needed a moment before the next one.”

“Bracing yourself?”

“Stop, I’m serious. It was beautiful. Your voice is wonderful, Harry.”

His eyes sparkle at the praise, finally believing she’s not taking the piss. Then his eyes dropped from her gaze, “I was a lot younger then, was 21 I think when I recorded this demo.”

“So? A voice like that doesn’t just disappear, dude.” She looks at him with a finality in her expression before dropping the hand that was firmly gripping his tattooed arm and turning back to the CD player.

Harry bites his lip as another one of his early songs plays over the shoddy speakers. His voice repeats “Meet me in the hallway” over the solo guitar. There’s no echo or bass, no count in like the final song was supposed to have. It’s just him and his guitar, before he chose to leave it all behind.

His voice is sadder here, she notices and she visibly winces at “just take the pain away” and “just let me know, I’ll be on the floor” and his repetition of “gotta get better.”

How did this man, who seemed fazed by practically nothing, have so much hurt in him to write both of these songs? Her eyes welled with water, but she blinked them back still staring at the singer before her. He was watching the CD spin in the player as his voice came through the speakers. He was lost in thought, in memory. Maybe she was lucky, these weren’t memories for her, she was only hearing his interpretation of his life. She hadn’t had to live that pain first hand. This time she doesn’t pause before the next song.

The next one seems more produced than the last two. This one starts with drums, a step up from the last two acoustic demos in respect to production. A big crash and then a wailing guitar and an accompanying voice. His voice is stronger here, more sure of himself. And then it changes again, melancholic once again and her heart strings are yanked at again.

“We’re not who we used to be, we’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat.”

The guitar continues that sad tone for a riff and then goes back to strumming beneath his voice. She shifts her eyes to him again and sighs softly, it weighs heavy on her soul that the man next to her has seemingly been through so much heartache. He looks up at “We don’t see what we used to see” and she holds his gaze, brows knit together in confusion and sadness. She pauses this time, finger reaching out without looking.

“This is depressing, please tell me they’re not all sad songs or I might as well have turned on a pet rescue commercial.”

His smile etches on his face, in a small knowing smirk and he crosses into her personal space. She’s about to step back, but he reaches out and softly bats her finger away from the pause/play button. She smiles back, shuffling to lean against the counter beside him. It was unusual for them to be on the same side of the counter, much like last night at the bar.

“There’s six songs on this demo. Three sad, three…” he trails off, looking at her expectantly. She nods. “You gotta learn to be a little less impatient, hmm?”

“Not impatient, just trying to brace myself for more sadness. I thought I had been promised a day of fun,” she grumbles.

“I wasn’t the one who suggested a demo listening party,” his brows raise and she twists her mouth to the side at his smug response.

“True,” she finally concedes with a murmur.

He presses play and a new song comes on that is more upbeat than any of the other’s that have played so far. It also seems to be a bit more produced than the first two. Her hand rests on the countertop and begins to tap, she quirks her brow at the first lyric “she’s got a family in carolina, so far away, but she says I remind her of home.” A girl who likened Harry Styles to the South of the United States, interesting. As she listens to the lyrics, she smirks at the massive crush he must have had to write this song. The “good girl” lyrics bounce around in her mind and her mind drifts back to last night. Would it have felt good? To kiss Harry?

Then, she’s brought out of her reverie with “I met her once and wrote a song about her”. Her eyes widen and look to Harry again inquisitively as his past self muses over how good this girl felt. He wrote about a one night stand? That woman must have been magic. That was all she had to say about that.

“Really?” She asks incredulously, folding her arms over her chest. His gaze flickers at the movement, human nature. He presses pause.

“What?”

“A one night stand earned that?”

He looked at her seriously, like the answer was obvious. She laughs before continuing.

“You’re a simp.”

“I’m sorry?” He sputters at her statement immediately.

She raises her brows as a response now. Nothing else to say.

“She wasn’t a one night stand,” he defends, “She was a blind date...and it had been after a dry spell.”

She starts to laugh, about to give another snarky response, but he adds, “And I was twenty-one.” The numbers specifically enunciated.

“You’re still a simp in my book...but I liked the song. It was catchy, rock vibes in there. I don’t know about her telling you remind her of Carolina - north or south, I don’t see it.”

He eyes her warily, still not happy with her titling him that gen z term that was super popular all over the internet. He took her in and he knew she was only three years younger than him, he was pretty sure, yet she used ‘simp’ and ‘vibes’ like they were lexicon words. He didn’t hate it, it was just different than what he usually heard in the little border town. Italian not having translations for things like that, English was so interesting, internet language was so interesting.

“I-” He starts and stops. “She said it. Was she right? That’s not my place to judge.”

“I don’t know,” Y/N pressed, words dragging out playfully, “Personally, I wouldn’t want to be a reminder of the U.S. South, but okay...simp.”

“I swear to god if you call me that one more time, I’m throwing you overboard and I won’t feel bad about it.”

Her eyes widen and then she smiles, he cracks a smile too. They huddle back around the CD player, ready for the next song. It starts with a strong guitar and drums, again well produced compared to the acoustic earlier ones.

His voice in this is far more shaky, unsure of himself again. “Let me take my medicine, take my medicine, treat you like a gentleman,” comes through the speakers. She shivers and looks at him, her fingers tapping along to the beat. The instruments are strong where his voice is soft, it doesn’t exactly fit, but she likes the lyrics still. When it gets to the pre-chorus, that’s when she knows she loves the song.

“I had a few got drunk on you and now I’m wasted, and when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you (tasted)”

When his voice pitches high for ‘wasted’ she loses it. Her body moves with the instruments and her eyes close and her head wiggles. Harry smiles happily as she dances for the first time to one of his songs. The last word must have been shouted by his bandmates, because she doesn’t hear him say it.

Then the chorus hits and she wonders how it got even better. Her eyes shoot open and she just stares at Harry, her jaw slightly dropped.

“If you got out tonight, I’m going out tonight cause I know you’re persuasive! You got that something and I got me an appetite now I can taste it”

His past self sings of getting dizzy and his voice moans into the mic the demo was recorded on. She’s blown away. It sounds so hot, his voice gaining confidence during the pre-chorus and the chorus to have an all around rockstar sound.

The present Harry just taps his rings together as he watches her, studying her reaction with an even-tempered expression. Why isn’t he screaming like she is on the inside? When it gets to the second verse she’s bracing herself for what’s to come. This song has her pulse racing and blood flowing wildly around her body. She’s buzzing from it.

“The boys and the girls are in, I mess around with him and I’m okay with it”

The electric guitar follows the line up and she thinks she’s going to pass out on this boat right now. Flamboyant Harry. Was this what Marie had been talking about. The wild side of Harry she really had never seen, embodied in one song. She wanted more of it. Still all she got was the Harry on the demo rocking out to his song. She can hear him smiling through the recording, the sad boy from a few songs ago was now feeling euphoric. She just wanted to dance the night away with him.

Then another pre-chorus: “I’m coming down, I figured out I kinda like it, and when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you (ride it)”

His voice goes high again for ‘like it’ this time and her question of what is to follow is quickly answered with the bandmates screaming ‘ride it’ into the mics they must have had. It’s punctuated with the drums and other instruments. A noise escapes the back of her throat and Harry looks at her both smugly and amused. She rolls her eyes in response, trying to convince Harry that she hadn’t just had images of him singing about how good someone rides him flash in her mind. Even more so with the images of someone, namely her, being the object of his dreams. Doing the things he said he’d dream of. That, that was definitely not what she was thinking about. Definitely not. Her throat was dry and she swallowed hard. Harry’s eyes never left her face. Watching every reaction, gauging it and storing the information elsewhere for the time being.

She sings along to the chorus, trying to focus on the song, it was easy to pick up, but then the damn moans. And then there’s a guitar solo that sounds like sex itself and she’s baffled that this was an unreleased demo, not a famous rock song. Harry in front of her can’t stop himself from tapping his feet at this part, a little dance forming on his body as his eyes finally leave her figure. They close as he feels the music, the memory of his friend playing the riff clear in his mind and how much he had loved it. It builds up again and then there’s a final chorus. She watches him now as he dances in the confined space. His mouth opens to sing along to the “la la la’s”

It ends and goes straight into another upbeat song. It seemed like a complimentary song to the one that had just played.

“I don’t want your sympathy, but you don’t know what you do to me, oh Anna!”

His voice sings strong again. Harry before her composed himself again, going back to his watching position. He took in her tapping and smiling to the song. He also mouths the words slightly as it plays, the lyrics clear as the day he finished writing them almost 4 years ago. One of the final ones for this demo.

“Hope you never hear this and know that it’s for you, don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth”

She smirks at him, now, with the earnest lyrics, about to say something, but then notices the change in the guitar. It switches from the epic riff that was going to a more familiar tune, “Faith” by George Michael. She looks at him, a cheesy grin on her face as the voice begins to sing the chorus of that song. Her body begins to dance to it, like an old man doing the twist. She’s not ashamed and Harry loves it and joins her by mirroring the movements.

When the song comes to an end, they’re one large giggling mess. She falls into his arms and he holds her steady, their laughter coming out with freedom.

“Thanks for making me be patient,” She looks up at him, “it was worth it!”

He smiles, backing up slightly, “It’s like I knew what I was talking about.”

“Ok smart guy,” she teases with a silly voice. “I’m assuming whoever Anna is, isn’t actually named Anna then...?”

Harry hums and makes a twitch of his brows, but doesn’t respond. Instead he grabs her hand and she squeaks slightly, he pulls her to the ladder and prompts her to go up. She obliges silently and lands back on the top of the boat now. She looks out and sees the little town to be off in the distances now, shining blue water all around the creamy white boat.

Harry stands behind her now and shuts the hatch easily. She looks at him warily, confused by his silence. He extends his hand to her this time and she takes it. He leads her to the front of his boat. They’re moving, but so slowly you’d barely notice. There’s a loveseat of sorts right at the front and Harry sets her down in it. She smiles at him with caution, still bewildered. He leans against a part of the boat that stands in front of the seat.

“It’s beautiful, right?” He asks.

Her eyes have been looking around her, but they’ve mostly been trained on Harry. She was mesmerized by him now. His music, his boat, his clothes, his everything. She was seeing him in a new light. In a completely brand new way that had her unable to take her eyes off of him.

She nods finally when Harry looks at her expectantly. “It’s amazing,” she breathes.

His smile is the half-sided grin again. Beautiful big teeth on display with a little part of space between them. His dimple pops out and once again her eyes are on his face. She realized going on this boat with Harry might not have been such a good idea.

He folds his arms, her eyes flicker down. Every movement he makes, she doesn’t want to miss it. Even if she also is telling her mind to shake it off, she can’t. It’s like a spell.

“Obviously Anna is a pseudonym,” he says finally, eyes watching where the boat was taking him. She nods in approval. He pauses, watching the little waves, but she knows he has more to say.

“What did you think of the rest of it?” He asks quietly, gaze never going back to her. He knew she’d teased him a little and had danced along to some. She’d looked at him with wide eyes at some lyrics, but he wanted to know what she really thought.

She can tell he’s nervous, but she doesn’t understand why. They were all very good songs, his voice was beautiful, the lyrics were interesting. She didn’t understand his lack of confidence. His first time not exhibiting his usual self-assured - self-absorbed, even - personality. She bites her lip in confusion and his brows knit together, further showing his apprehension. The wrinkles in his forehead show up more prominently and she’s reminded that Harry is 26. He’s a different person now then he was back when he recorded that demo. Maybe there was a reason he kept them on the boat. She felt unsure in her response now.

“They were all great, Harry.” His face softens immediately. “Each one was beautifully written and sung. The ones that were acoustic sounded wonderful as did the ones with your whole band. I’m honored to be someone who got to hear those masterpieces.”

She wanted to tell them they should be famous songs, but she had a feeling that might not have the effect on him that she wanted. He had chosen a little quiet life in the little border town. She didn’t think he would want to hear how his music could have made it big time.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, just about the sounds of the sea. He lets a closed mouth smile twist onto his face, but it feels like he doesn’t fully believe her. She wants to kiss his worry away, but again, she knows it’s not possible. His words from earlier rang in her head. It would make things weird. Yeah, you’re right. Ugh, why had she agreed. She didn’t agree, not at all, not anymore.

“Did you have a favorite?” He stands up straighter with his question.

She laughs slightly, “I liked the second to last one a lot. It was hot.”

“Hot how?” He steps closer, smirking.

She jumps up from her reclined seat, in indignation, “Oh come on, you know it’s hot. Now you’re just looking for me to stroke your ego! It’s obviously about sex.”

“And? You’re the one who’s saying it’s your favorite and blushing.” He arches a brow at her, arms going to his hips and looking at her teasingly.

“Well, you’re the one who was singing about sucking dick and dreaming of how someone rode you.”

“Is that what it’s about?” His voice raises as he purses his lips and raises both of his brows.

She realizes just how worked up he’s gotten her in such a short amount of time. She huffs and turns away from him with a flick of her hand. “You’re infuriating.” Is all she can say. She looks out at the waves now, ignoring Harry even though he’s less than a foot away.

He’s laughing behind her for a little. Then when she doesn’t turn around, he quiets and she’s not quite sure where he’s gone. Then his breath fans over her neck and right shoulder, where her jacket hasn’t managed to cover her. It’s warm and a little minty as the scent travels over the salty sea air. She doesn’t turn or move a muscle for that matter.

A hand reaches out to her shoulder, but still she makes no move to turn. It rests there for a minute and she simply huffs again, letting her shoulders rise and fall dramatically. A single laugh slips from Harry’s mouth.

“C’mon diavola, don’t be like that. S’all in good fun.” His voice is low in her ear, sultry even. It reminds her of his voice in that song once he got into it. His voice sounds like sex in her ear and this time when she sighs it’s not because she’s irritated with him. No, she wants him. The sigh has an undercurrent of that desire and she hopes Harry doesn’t understand that. But otherwise she stays quiet, letting him murmur into her ear with his hand on her shoulder and his chest pressed to her back now. The only witness of this exchange is the ocean before them.

His head leans closer and if she didn’t know any better it felt like he was about to press a kiss to her neck. Instead all she feels is the brush of his mustache, it tickles the shell of her ear and she can’t keep in the giggle. She twists away from the sensation and Harry is grinning at her when she faces him.

His hand still on her shoulder and his body still pressed close to hers. He’s so warm and so close and so shiny new in her eyes, even if he still manages to irritate her. Her eyes flicker up to his as their laughter quiets down. She realizes her own hands have gone to his waist to steady herself and she follows his feet as he backs them up from the edge of the boat that she had brought them too.

It’s quiet again. They’re staring at each other intently. Her eyes are swirling with emotion because she just wants to know what’s going on in the brain of the man before her. She wants to know everything about him, but she knows that’s not how he feels about her. Sure, they’re friends now, but nothing else.

Why did she have to come on this stupid boat and find his stupid amazing music? Why did he have such a stupid amazing face?

These questions and other silly things were racing around her head as she gripped his waist. He didn’t mind her quietness, he found her gaze to be a little unnerving, but he was just glad he had made her laugh. He found that he didn’t enjoy her anger at him as much anymore.

Just as he was about to start another conversation, there was a cloud that drifted over the shining sun. It was her original fear come to life. Harry’s brows furrowed as he looked up at the clouds. They were turning grey. Fast.

“Shit, shit, shit,” He began mumbling and released his hand from her shoulder. He pulled away from her hold and began moving swiftly around the boat. He needed to get them off the water, there was a storm coming.

Her eyes went wide as she noticed the approaching storm as well. Her brows furrowed with worry as she watched Harry begin working on the boat, his only words being curses to himself at first.

Then he enlists her help, asking her to hold onto a specific part of the boat for him after he threw her a life vest and made her put it on. She wore it with great dissatisfaction. He only shrugged as he continued to move nimbly around the boat, turning them around, back to the dock.

The boat moved much swifter into the shore than it had on their way out. The waves were growing choppier by the minute and she would admit she was more than a little scared. Thankfully, Harry knew what he was doing and got them there quickly and safely. Once at the dock, he tied them there and then helped her off the boat. She stood on the dock uncomfortably as the rain started to come down.

“Give me your lifevest!” He gestures from the boat.

She quickly takes it off and flinches when the first bout of thunder sounds from far off. He takes it from her and throws it haphazardly down the hatch along with his own before jumping off the boat himself. He surveys the boat from the dock to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. Then he looks at her. She’s wrapped her arms around herself and is ducking her head, looking like she’s attempting to ward off rain but failing miserably.

She looks up at him and he offers a soft smile of reassurance.

“Take my hand!” He shouts slightly over the growing sound of rain and thunder. He wants to get them out of the rain, but he’s also apprehensive to leave his boat to the mercy of the weather. Still, that’s all he can do.

She puts her hand in his and his fingers weave with hers. Then, they’re off racing back to their street in the little border town.

“I should go back to my place!”

“Don’t be silly! France is much too far for you to go in this weather!”

She laughs and grips his hand tighter as he fumbles for his key. His wet hand slipping as the rain droplets soak their clothes and skin. Even though her door is a mere few feet away she allows Harry to pull her into his shop. The warmth and dryness appreciated after running a few blocks in the now torrential downpour. There weren’t storms often in the little border town, but like the old adage said ‘when it rained, it poured’ quite literally. The less she had to travel in the rain the happier she was, even if it was three measly feet.

It also occurred to her that she’d be able to sit out her first storm with someone by her side. And she would admit that didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. She wasn’t necessarily a fan of storms and being in a new place with a storm she’d never weathered before was daunting. Harry inviting her in was a blessing. She didn’t have to be asked twice.

Once inside the little shop, their wet frames begin to form puddles beneath themselves. Harry sighs and takes off up his rickety stairs. She looks after him in confusion but stays put when he calls a quick “Wait there!”

She shakes a bit of the rain from her and shivers as she listens for Harry’s movements barely audible above the crashing of the rain water. When he returns, her breath catches in her throat, like she just choked on something, yet there’s nothing.

As he walks down the steps, far slower now, his wet hair shakes out around his head forming some ethereal halo. The light from upstairs illuminates him and the darkness outside casts an ominous darkness as he descends.

“Un ange…” She whispers after finally catching her breath.

If he hears her, it doesn’t matter. He’s already beginning to smile widely just from seeing Y/N before him.

He skips the last step and crosses to her swiftly. “Let’s get you dried a little more,” he begins to dote. A matching smile spreads on Y/N’s face out of appreciation. She still can’t manage to fend off the shivering and Harry’s smile falters. His hands leave the towel and trace her exposed skin. Her cheek feels like ice, only slightly warming under his touch.

“You need dry clothes,” he mumbles.

Her eyes widen as she looks up at him. He’s so close and so attentive and she wants to ask him to kiss her because they’ve been going back and forth all day, but he’s right she’s freezing. His eyes are so intense though she can’t even maintain eye contact. Instead her gaze flits up to the droplet beginning to swell down one of his rogue strands of hair that flopped over his forehead moments ago.

She doesn’t respond as she watches and Harry begins to worry more. Her eyes seemingly unfocused, her shivering, and her silence. He thumbs over the apple of her cheekbone and finally breaks her reverie. The droplet splashing between them without her as its audience.

“C’mon,” he tugs her hand now to bring her upstairs.

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fan fic #harry styles series #little border town #harry styles one shot #harry styles af #ahghsgjfgkjdfkg #literal keyboard smash #its been so long #and no one is going to read #do y'all even remember me omg

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reeesea · 4 years ago

Text

Something Sweet: Part Seven

~sweet home~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, han jisung/lee minho

warning: mild language

words: 4.7k

summary: Home is where your bros at right? right.

a/n: I actually like this chapter, shocker. i hope you enjoy

ao3

----------------

Minho stared at the video file sitting on his computer, on the familiar application site that had been haunting his mind for the past couple years. The debate he found himself in with himself on whether or not to submit another application, had become his default subject of thought for much of the past few weeks. All building up to right now. Something had tipped the scale though. Something that reminded him if he didn't submit an entry this year, that he might as well have given up on his one dream. His one goal. The only thing that had been keeping him motivated through university. So once again he found himself rationalizing, and knew that if anything he had to try, at least just one last time.

Upload complete, Thank you for your entry!

Minho sighed loudly. He had sent it in. The first part of the application. It was just a basic dance routine supplied by the academy. He had practice and recorded it all within one sitting. Having been a part of a dance crew for much of the past year had allowed him to quickly pick up choreography and perfect it. The other reason being that he wanted more than anything to get the overbearing presence of the audition tape out of his head space as soon as possible. A heavy sigh left his lips as he laid back down on the studio floor, not too long after a ping of his phone revived just enough for him to check his messages.

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

2:50 pm

Minho-hyung!

I hope your day has been going well~

Sadly, no updates on when ill be free :/

They’re working us hard for the debut

It’s alright Ji, work hard!

You better be taking care of yourself tho...

4:03 pm (new)

Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)

{link attached}

I hope you like it!!!!

Oh, no i havent

I’ll give it a listen ^-^

As of late it wasn’t uncommon for Jisung to send the older songs he thought he would like. Always saying some cheesy line that was so blatantly sweet it made Minho flustered everytime. This time of course was no exception.

Ping.

HYUNG THAT EMOJI

Asjdnjsfma

I knew I was rubbin goffon you

Kkkkk

Dont get too ahead of yourself

atleast I can still type coherent sentences

~goffon~

Boo :p

Why Jisung was so persistent about sending him songs was lost on the older, but it was a sweet reminder that someone was thinking about him. It had been a while since Minho had even imagined that someone took a few minutes of their day to actually consider how he was doing. It didn't quite make sense to him that suddenly out of nowhere, there was his boy, man, person, who purposefully took the time to dedicate brain cells to his existence. Wild.

Minho hurriedly clicked the link to the song that Jisung had sent. It was an upbeat song, with a strong but subtle strumming of a guitar to keep the song’s pace just quick enough to be comfortable. “There's no one else that could ever hold me like you do.” The lyrics were in the realm of positive longing and companionship, but the dips into minor chords and tone of the singer created a mood of desperation. More than anything, the song brought forth a story to Minho. One that he could see with his eyes close and feel his body wanting to move to.

A smile stretched across his face, as he rose from his spot on the floor, dusting off the dull ache and pressure in his shoulders from having just finished a routine not even 10 minutes ago.

“But I know that I'd be crazy, Not to wanna be the one to keep you up all night”

Woah there Jisung, at least take me out to dinner first. He made a mental note to tease the younger later about his “Made me think of you :)” line later. Already stretching and drawing a plan in his head, Minho took his phone and saved the song, pressing the repeat button twice, to allow the guitar chords and chorus harmonies to carry on endlessly. A smirk stretched into an excited smile. Not wanting to jinx himself, a shy “finally” was whispered in the back of Minho’s mind at the surge of inspiration, but not spoken aloud just yet.

---

Flashing lights, heavy makeup, hot clothing, and too much fog from the smoke machine is all Jisung had thought about for the last couple hours. 3RAHCHA was in their last photo shoot for their debut. The concept photos would be released later through the week, slowly revealing the three members and their group as officially signed with JJP ent.

The multicolor lights had been running through his vision for so long that as soon as he walked into their Green Room, he had almost forgotten what color everything actually was. Looking in the mirror he saw the blonde highlighted streaks in his hair had settled nicely, slightly slicked back. The stylist had surely done their jobs well. Painting the three rappers up to look less like the nightcrawlers they were, and into something that leather and fishnet clad superstars might look like was definitely a challenge. Jisung had his makeup done just enough to give his eyes a smoky look to them, and grey contacts to emphasize his gaze. The ensemble he had on looked like something that had come straight from a catwalk. Fishnets crawling up his arms from his gloved hands and an asymmetrical shit he for sure would not have been able to put on without the help of his stylist-noona. All that plus some leather pants and combat boots, he definitely looked more like his persona J.One than the notorious hoodie clad couch potato named Jisung he usually found himself as.

Having just finished his own solo shoot, he signaled Changbin to head on to the set as he returned. The older nodded from his chair in front of the makeup station, as the artist finished the final touches to his eyeliner. Jisung watched as the shorter rapper walked out to the set in a white puffer jacket that he somehow pulled off, even with the bright red pants he wore. A part of Jisung was thankful his stylist hadn’t taken that many liberties with his outfit, but the makeup and outfit Changbin wore really only emphasized his intimidating stare and the wideness of his shoulders. It was undeniable that their concept photos would come out well.

Chan, who was seated on a couch, eating some of the provided sandwiches, was already hunched over his computer and mixing equipment again, airpods in. Probably working on tracks for their third comeback knowing him. Not wanting to jump right back into work Jisung snagged a few snacks from the buffet and found a chair he could lay on. Listening to music that wasn't work had become a rarity for Jisung in the years he had been with 3RACHA. Of course he always tried to stay on top of the recent pop and hip hop trends, but straying any farther than his trusty morning and workout playlists was more than unlikely.

Lately though, Jisung found himself looking through a lot of random indie, alternative, “western” pop, and especially dance music. The versatility of the genres was comforting to Jisung in the rather turbulent state his emotions and mental state have been in, as the debut approached. Also Minho. Meeting Minho definitely had introduced a whole new set of feelings Jisung was still working on navigating. As he listened to the different songs that populated this radio, he told himself he was just looking for some inspiration for his lyrics and 3RACHA’s new music, but even he knew that was mostly a lie.

Ever since that night at the bar with Minho he found himself always considering the older and what he would think of a song or how he would dance to it, or if he would even like it. After pointing out that he liked a particularly upbeat pop song with melancholic lyrics, during their impromptu karaoke session, Jisung had been delvinging into all related categories to find songs he thought the older might enjoy. He wanted more than anything to inspire his older companion? Partner? (that was a later Jisung question.) but he wanted to repay the man who had allowed him to get out of his creative slump. That night, as soon as the youngest rapper had returned to the 3RACHA “house” he felt the start of at least 5 separate tracks and choruses appear in his brain. His two hyungs jumped into action along with him as Jisung desperately tried to write and record everything that was jumping out of his brain at once.

Jisung remembered Chan’s smile and encouraging words as he fitted a few of his new verses to songs they had previously put on the shelf. After finding a particularly emotional but upbeat song he immediately wanted to send it to Minho. He always got hung up on what to say with the link. Other than the thought vomit that occurred every time he chooses to send him a potentially good song: “Found this song? U Like???” No Jisung, what are you five?? “I think you will enjoy this song. Please give it a listen? :0” No that just sounds desperate.

“You doing alright there Ji, I can hear you sighing through my earbuds?” Chan peeked out from under his styled bangs with a raised eyebrow, sending Jisung into a red embarrassed mess that he had been caught. He hoped his layers of foundation would cover it up.

“Yeah fine fine, don't worry. I’m FINE.” Attempting to hide Jisung curled up tighter into his arm chair. Just be casual Jisung it's a song not a marriage proposal dear god. “Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)” Good, yes fine. Send.

Minho responded immediately and cutely with an emoji that made his heart jump a little. Minho would respond always with a variation of a “Thanks! I’ll go listen”, but Jisung had yet to receive any confirmation that the older actually enjoyed the links he sent, much less had found some inspiration in them. At this point the only thing he could do was hope. He wanted nothing more than Minho to be smiling because of him.

Officially exhausted, it wasn’t until late when the 3RACHA boys had finally made it back to their apartment. The day Jisung had, had been anything but short. Almost collapsing immediately on the couch. Sana notified them that she had already ordered food to be delivered for dinner and that they should go to bed as soon as they had finished eating. Chan looked like he was about to pass out on the couch before the food even arrived, which was more than likely at this point. After their shoot they were immediately sent to a few other meetings laying out their marketing and schedule plans for the upcoming weeks. Although glad they were able to part with their artistic and career decisions with their company, it did add a lot of work and responsibilities to the trio.

Jisung’s phone had died somewhere after meeting 3 of 5 and he had submitted to having to carry the lifeless brick with him anyway. Not ideal for his wandering mind and anxiety that comes with a few too many stressful meetings. Once finally arriving home he went and plugged his phone in at the charger on the kitchen counter. Lighting up with notification buzzes as it rebooted back to life.

[ 5 new messages from Lee Minho hyungie]

Immediately cursing himself internally for not bringing his charger with him, he opened his messages from Minho ignoring all others.

[Lee Minho hyungie]

5:45 pm

Hey Jisungie, just finished up practice!

Actually may or may not have danced to the song u sent…

Maybe I’ll show you some day hehehehehehehehe ;)

7:21 pm

Han Jisung, did you forget your charger again >:/

Well I’m off to my late shift, I hope you have a good night~

Jisung always found himself smiling at Minho’s before work texts. They were always so cute. Either some sort of sweet well wishing or some other Minho-esque goodbye, along the lines of “don’t die mysteriously while i'm gone ;p” or “Have a good night, try not to miss my WONDERFUL company too much <3”. (The hearts always made Jisung grin hard, even if they were sarcastic)

This night though, Jisung found him almost jumping in victory at Minho’s text.

[Lee Minho hyungie]

12:35 am

YOU DANCED TO THE SONG

Really?!?!?!

What did you like about it?

When can I see????

You better not leave me on read after work!

Jisung tried to imagine what kind of dance Minho would do to the track he sent,and suddenly found himself flush at the thought of watching the other dance. Somehow, watching Minho dance, felt more intimate than any other situation that they’ve shared. Thankfully Minho seemed to want to hold off, so at least of the time being Jisung’s heart was safe. The exhaustion and stress from the day faded ever so slightly as soon as he thought of Minho with coordinating blush to match.

Jisung you lovestruck fool.

“Jisung! Food’s here!!! If you don't hurry Chan’ll eat your portion again.”

“HEY! It was one time.” Laughter filled the apartment gently as they all respectively fought gravity to get up and make their way to collect the food from the delivery man.

---

Minho tore up the stairs and through their apartment door as quickly as he could without spilling the carry out food he had in his arms. The clock was ticking a little past midnight and fear set in that the older would miss their planned celebrations.

Bursting through the door, “Did I beat him?!” The oldest was frazzled from rushing in order to beat their third roommate home from work.

“Barely! I was afraid you wouldn’t make it, with having to bring the carry out.” Hyunjin’s sigh of relief was visible throughout the boy's now relaxed body. He had spent the last ten minutes hoping that they would still be able to pull off their surprise party for the youngest. Pacing around and failing to come up with any backup plans if Minho had been later than Felix. Thankfully for them both, Minho had a way of always being on time.

“Hey all that matters is I made it. Is everything else ready?” Looking around Minho could see that Hyunjin’s bed was transitioned back into the couch setting and that the floors had been tidied up. A couple stray balloons littered the floor as well as a home made “happy birthday felix” sign hung from their living room screen divider.

“Yep, I've just been waiting anxiously for you to get home for the past half hour.”

The door handle of their apartment began to jiggle, signaling the two boys to spring into action. Minho setting down the carry out, and Hyunjin frantically lights candles on the small cake on the coffee table. The door swung open, revealing a disheveled after-work Felix wandering through the door. As soon as the boy turned toward their living room, he was accosted with shouts and the flailing limbs of his hyungs.

“Surprise!!!” “Happy Birthday!!!”

Felix’s smile erased any of the signs of exhaustion off his face immediately as soon as he spotted his hyungs excited expressions. The cake, the streamers, the balloons, and sign all sparked some joyful tearing of his eyes as he set down his things and made his way to the small cake with a few random lit candles on top. The clock had crossed over into the next day as Felix had made his way home, that he had almost forgotten that it was now technically the early morning hours of his birthday. Coming home to joyful cheers instead of their usual exhausted silence had given him a certain happiness that he hadn’t realized he was missing.

For all of three of the roommates this was their first time having a celebration in their small home together. By now the sense of home was undeniable and without realizing it all of them had begun to consider each other and their shared 3 room apartment, home.

The disjointed singing of happy birthday followed by the laughter and conversation surrounded their coffee table as the three enjoyed their small carryout feast and cake. The warmth that their company gave each other lasted well into the night.

“Hyung! It's my birthday, stop eating all the cake!!!”

“I have no idea what youre talking about Lixie.” Minho says while actively taking another bite of their 2 person sized cake.

“Hyung!” The laughter of the oldest filled the room followed by the other two’s not too long after.

“Happy Birthday Lixie~” The smile hadn’t left the freckled boys faces since he had sat down, and remained as he pulled his two roommates into a forceful hug. It was his birthday so the boys both submitted to the clingy nature of their third roommate, as always.

---

It was late into the early morning by the time Minho had checked his phone.

[ 5 new messages from Rich Boy Han Jisung]

A soft pang of guilt hits his chest after reading the younger’s texts and realizing that he did in fact leave the other on read for the better part of the last two hours.

2:43 am

I’m so sorry Sungie!

We were celebrating Felix’s birthday, and I didnt check my phone….

Look at the cute cake we got him!

{photo attached}

Minho sent the selfie of the three of them with Felix’s cake, if anything just to lessen the guilt in his chest. Hoping that the cuteness of Felix’s smile would be enough to forgive him for low key ghosting him for a few hours. Minho knows that on the days Jisung has the most schedules are the hardest for him mentally, and he always tries his best to be there for him and send him a message or two to lessen the load on those nights. The fact that he hadn’t been there tonight filled him with some worry. A part of him hoped that the younger would’ve been asleep by now but their late night track record did not exactly support that.

---

Jisung had been lying painfully awake in his bed for an hour when he heard the buzz of his phone. Slightly upset with his body for not giving into the exhaustion he had gathered from the day, and just letting him sleep, he turned to the side table to check the messages. Awake fully ,but only mentally half conscious, he read through his messages:

Minho. Oh, yay, it's Minho.

Felix’s Birthday. Oh right he had mentioned that coming up.

Cute cake. Aw that cake is really cute… wait.

Birthday.

I have one of those, around this time to-

I missed my birthday. I forgot my birthday. Everyone forgot.

The cute picture Minho had sent was so filled with happiness that Jisung almost let the pain slide and pass the moment by. But something just didn't feel right in letting himself forget his own birthday. The fact that the others hadn’t remembered didn’t bother him too much. Chan, Changbin, they were all busy with schedules and he can't blame them. Especially since he, himself had forgotten. No birthday text from his family either. Unsurprising though since he rarely got in contact with them since moving to Korea in high school. He forgot though.

He wasn’t quite sure why this was bothering him so much. Some people don't even celebrate their birthday, or remember how old they are, but Jisung had always prided himself on never letting his work take over entirely who he was. To exhausted-Jisung, he couldn’t help but feel like this was one step toward losing the grip on who he was, and that was in itself, terrifying.

The coldness of his bed and the dark expanse of his room seemed to only perpetuate the way Jisung felt. Floating, alone, lost. His insecurity was starting to come into focus, and no wonder it had been keeping him up. He had been spiraling for days probably, without even knowing it. The buzz of his phone lit up his face, snapping him out of his own thoughts for a moment.

[Lee Minho hyungie]

2:50 pm

You okay Jisung?

I hope I didn't wake you

Jisung noticed that the app had revealed that he had read the messages and was indeed awake. Unfortunately, exhausted-and--spirling-Jisung was the only one present enough to send a response. Hopefully Minho wouldn’t mind him too much.

You didn’t wake me, was already up :/

It looks really fun hyung

I just realized something too

My birthday was yesterday

I forgot it

Jisung found himself fighting the watering of his eyes as he sent those messages. Why was he crying? He just forgot, he was busy. It was okay. Right? The tears seemed to only cloud his vision more, blocking him from reading the messages from Minho that were buzzing and populating the screen. Not bothering to wipe his eyes, he let them blurr.

Wh- do you- mea- ???

Jis--ng ar- y-- ok--?

I-- sorry i- di-nt -----

---- wa-t --- ca-l?

--sung?

A few moments passed, without him realizing it, as his phone buzzed some more, screen changing to the incoming call screen. Sucking up his tears and drying his damp screen, it took a few tries before answering the call.

---

“Jisung!?” Jisung nearly flinched, just nearly.

“Hi hyung, How was work?” hoping to cover up his tears by changing the subject. Jisung thought it was a pretty good attempt.

“How wa- what, no. Jisung are you okay?” There it was again. The undeniable worry in Minho’s voice. Ow.

“Yeah I’m okay.” Despite Jisung’s efforts it was obvious to Minho that the other had in fact been crying. Not wanting to push the younger though, he allowed him to change the subject

“.... okay, I just want to check in on you. I worry you know, Sung!”

“About me? that's silly hyung.” The distance in his tone replaced Jisung’s usual brightness, and it hurt Minho to hear it.

“I don't think so. How am I to know what my favorite customer is up to? You may be a soon to be rap star but that doesn’t keep you from ignoring your hyung.” Even though Jisung giggled at that, the irony of the statement wasn’t lost on Minho. A wave of guilt washed over his chest as soon as he said it.

“I am sorry though. For not answering sooner and everything.”

And for reminding you of your birthday, and making you cry, and not being there to make you smile.

“No don’t be sorry! That’ll only make me feel worse for bothering you… I think the exhaustion was just making me delirious, I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights.” Minho had to fight his initial protective instincts that told him to scold the younger for not taking care of himself, because a part of him knew that the younger was certainly trying his best to do so.

“Well if you can’t sleep ever, just call me okay? I’m usually up from my shifts anyway. Plus if I'm not up surely one of my roommates is. Felix will probably never let go of you once he finds your birthday brothers." Hearing Minho's laugh lightened the tight pressure that Jisung hadn't realized had been settled in his chest.

"Okay hyung, i'd like that I think."

"You better. My time rarely comes free, and this is a limited time offer." Jisung’s laugh is a little bit more enthusiastic this time.

“Of course hyung.” A silence came over them for a moment. Not an awkward one, more of a point of realization and relief. Like the feeling after having a good cry, in Jisung’s case.

“Happy belated birthday Jisung.”

“Thanks hyung… Did you have a fun time with Felix?”

“Yeah! It was actually a lot of fun. Just some carry out and cake after work, but it was good to relax with them. We don't always have free time together, and haven’t had the chance to celebrate anything until now. Hyunnie luckily found a cake on sale at the mart today, sparking this whole thing.”

Minho remembered the frantic call from the younger as he delved into his plans for giving Felix the “perfect surprise birthday celebration” because he had “found the perfect cake to match Felix’s cuteness.” It was on sale. Also because “Come on Min-hyung Felix would absolutely do the same for us.” Explaining the situation to Jisung really did solidify the fact that Minho knew Felix, would in fact, plan some adorable birthday celebration for the older two if given the opportunity.

“What would you guys have done if he hadn't found the cake?”

“I’m not sure maybe it would’ve just been a carry-out celebration.”

“Still sounds really nice hyungie. You and your roommates seem so close.”

“I suppose shared rent does that to people.” Minho laughed it off but he had begun to cherish the brotherly bond that had grown between his roommates.

Not having ever considered it before, the fact that the roommates were only able to buy a cake because it happened to be on sale, revealed to Jisung that their financial situations may have been farther apart than he realized. Money had never been a barrier that Jisung had to face, always having family (or honestly Changbin) help pay for his living and pursuit of his dreams. Sure he’s had part time jobs in the past but he never found himself worrying about not making enough each month. Not going to university definitely was a large factor in maintaining his “affordable” lifestyle.

“It's nice you do things for each other. I can't remember the last time my hyungs and I have done something together that didn't have to do with our music.” Jisung started to feel some sort of jealousy at the closeness that Minho and his roommate had found in each other. Financial guilt and emotional jealousy are a strange combination for a half conscious Jisung to say the least.

“Are those fools not taking care of my Sung properly? Illegal, tell them to call me I have to yell at them too. They better not be working you too hard.”

‘My Sung’ Jisung almost choked. Almost.

“Nonono Hyung! They take care of me fine, we're all just exhausted with work.”

“Hmmmm okay they get a pass this time, but please relay my threat.”

“Okay okay I will.”

“You should probably get some rest soon. You're busy tomorrow right?”

Jisung yawned in response, which was enough convincing for Minho that he needed to rest.

“Okay looks like it's sleepy time for hardworking Jisung~”

“Wait hyung!” Jisung wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet, even though his body was actively fighting him.

“Yes belated birthday boy?”

“Thank you for not letting me be a sad gremlin all night. It would've been nice to have spent my birthday with you, but you still made me feel better.”

The musings of sleepy Jisung were just about enough to let the fondness burst from Minho’s chest. As much as he continues to hide it, the fondness still seeps into his voice, “Of course, Jisung we always have next year.” A promise he wasn’t sure he could keep but Jisung always made him want to try new things.

“Next year?” The sleepiness had definitely taken over, making his voice much softer than his usual bright edge.

“Yes next year... Goodnight Sungie, call me back if you can't sleep okay.”

“Mmkay, G’night hyungie.” Already half asleep by the time he hung up, Minho was glad that the younger was finally able to rest. Glancing at his roommates huddled together on the couch already drifting off, Minho accepted that it was his turn to finally rest knowing that all his younger companions were all safely sleeping. Hyung instincts he supposes.

-----

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

#skz au #skz fic #stray kids au #stray kids fic #lee minho #han jisung #minsung #leeknow #skz lee know #skz han #stray kids #lee felix #hwang hyunjin

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themrmalice · 4 years ago

Text

Treacherous Deep

By Malice

Narrated on YouTube by The Disciple: https://youtu.be/rmoQAE5QBM8

youtube

Metal groans in discomfort as its frame compresses, glass shakes and snickers, full knowledge that it alone stands as a barrier between the crew and the black depth outside. Like invisible arms squeezing the cabin with all its might, wishing only to crush the sub like a tin can. Within were 5 “Derelicts” a term coined for salvagers, investigating a signal that blew through the system from 15,000m below the tense surface of water. Clean, lacking waves, like a marble. Took 4 blasts from an orbital kinetic cannon to break the surface tension, allowing the Derelicts to go beneath its murky waves.

Passing 4,000m, the Abyss, where no light dare tread, and where only 1 singular pulse of light may emit. A fiery red beams from a subsurface station, pulsing, again, again, again. It was still a few thousand metres down, in the pitch black beneath us. Perched on the only continental mass we could find, between two cliffs leading into a massive and unexplored crevice. Depth calculators still havent found the bottom, hidden as it is, we were sent in to find where the S.O.S. was coming from.

Passing 6,000m, its been quiet, with only a few low groans from the Ballast interrupting that silence. Hideous and beautiful, the ocean is nothing but a masterpiece. Our Sonar has not picked up anything thus far, and with a 4,000 mile radius, its only proof that we are truly in an abyss. No rocky formations, no lifeforms, not even bacterial life. Just our sub. The S.S. Moloch. As we sink deeper into the abyss, my job becomes far more difficult. I manage room pressurization. Normally Automated, but the station wanted us to be extra cautious. After 10,000m, its one button press from instantaneous death due to Barotrauma. I’ve seen it, at this depth the body is its own weapon. Implosion, your body guts itself brutally, the fashion by which it does this involves innumerable organs expanding and collapsing. In the blink of an eye, what used to be your friend is now a misty cloud of parting crimson.

Passing 9,000m, in just a few minutes, our ears will start to ring, a signal I need to up pressurization in the sub, just a tick too much however, and we will meet a watery grave. The control panel in front of me started to beep a couple hundred meters up, showcasing a warning that the pressure in my specific cabin was getting too low. If I let it beep for a second longer, my cabin would have collapsed, adding to the weight of our sub and eventually sinking the S.S. Moloch. Everything must be perfect, every tiny calculation, no room for error. Our Oxygen Supply, if the tempurature increases the entire supply could explode and puncture the bow, dragging us all down with it. The Sonar, if we lose power to it, even for a moment, wont be able to notify us of our descent speed. Moving to fast, we hit a rock and implode, moving to slow, and we are wasting valuable minutes beneath the surface. The Pilot, his hands are weary and eyes are straining, sweating profusely, one wrong move and we’ve lost time down here. This S.O.S. beacon was calculated to be below 20,000m. Under the crust and buried in the mantle.

10,000m, we found the station, who signalled us into a drydock for resupply and a small break lasting only 2 hours. A mistake in my opinion, the break may only slow us down. I remained on the ship, telling those on the station I cannot leave until I can guarantee the safe reentry of my companions. About 30 minutes in, I gave in and left. The station was dilapidated, held together by the bare minimum, I believe I found some gum holding a small hole in the ground of the dry dock together, frozen by nitrogen. Depth Gum too, made out of plants found down here, eases anxiety while retaining focus. The crew aboard the station, Station Lamia, one of 4 here and the only one at this depth in The Trench. The Crew were all very calm, relaxed, and overall pleasant. They gave us food, water, the occasional ration of alcohol, and eventually sat us down for a more serious topic. The Trench. The widest berth they’ve found down here was a mere 800m in diametre. Our sub could easily slip through, but that was merely the opening. Past 14,000m, the diameter never opens up to 800m, meaning we would need to take it slow and cautious. They warned us of the wild life down here as well. Incredibly territorial and incredibly large to boot. The largest creature they’ve seen can dwarf the entire station! Its so massive that it could never find its way out of the cavern system. The caves it resides in are too far beneath the trench to explore, but a probe was sent in and never found the bottom. Only the horrifying site of an unknown station. Upon exploration of it, the researchers found scriptures of unknown languages. A sign we have been looking for, a sign of sentient alien life. The unknown station was named “Incognita” and has been probed only twice. The full station has not been explored, as part of it was burrowed into the wall of the cave. Another threat they mentioned, oozing black liquid, an ichor so strong it could stick our whole sub to the side of a building on Earth with only 5 square inches of it. Its so powerful that extraction is next to impossible. They would require a requisitioned Extraction Mech AND have it modded to survive at this depth. To put it lightly, this cave system wants us dead. The Water, wants us dead. The creatures. The rocks. The currents. All of it wants us dead. The final and most foreboding threat they warned us about, the water itself. Its not water. It feels, looks, tastes like water. But its lighter. And on a microbial scale, it too moves upon its own volition. Tiny molecules that sink into the pores of skin and bones. The molecules themselves will expand and connect during expansion. When you swim in the water, you cant come out. They happily gave us a new Depth Suit, only one and not fitted. We boarded our sub and said goodbye. The Crew gave us hugs and we left with a somber farewell. They didnt expect to see us again.

Passing 12,000m, the pressure is off the charts and hard to control. Outside is no longer black, but now gray rocks painted by my light. These rocks moved swiftly. “I thought they said this cave had a wide berth?” I said to the captain. The radio clicked on, “Yeah, I thought so too. I cant remain mad at them though, I wouldn’t want to do constant calculations down here.” He has a point. But, this is a lot smaller than they led us to believe! We barely fit through some caves! The stalactites nearly scraped my window, but they were pointed at a peculiar angle. Odd. Why would they be pointed off to the side? Maybe the ship nudged them.

Passing 15,000m, we were nearing the point of the S.O.S., with enough Oxygen to get us back to the station with an hour to spare and enough fuel to get us to the surface and back, we were all feeling warily confident! The Crew had snuck a pack of Depth Gum for us onto the ship, so we were all feeling more relaxed than normal. Even with our ship barely fitting through some sections. The ship groaned a few metres down, made us all jump out of our seats! It was so loud we thought we scraped against the wall! Turns out the Ballast just kicked some sand from the bed! Our on board engineer screamed “Watch it! We dont want to poke a hole in the ballast, you know that right?” The captain quickly responded “I-I didnt hit it! The sonar didn’t state that the bed was anywhere close to us! We had about a 10 metre difference between the ballast and the sand bed!” “Uh-huh,” the engineer groaned, “just make sure you watch it next time. Please.” “Of course.” The captain wearily said. He looked more confused as he examined the Sonar, I peaked over and saw what was confusing him. The sand bed behind us was now much lower! How can that be? Its solid rock with a pile of sand on it! Thank god we only nicked the sand pile itself!

Passing 17,000m, this cave is by far an anomaly! Nothing we have ever seen before! The cave walls shift! I swear on my life! I told the captain and he said nothing, just a blank stare. Of course, thats a staple of him. He wears drab attire, only his captain coat and hat set him apart from the rest of us. The generic blue captains coat was nothing to scoff at however, for he had a number of badges, all decorated his upper left shoulder. One patch was a commendation of performing 12 missions below 10,000m. This would be his 13th. Another patch showed his military service during The Fall. One for 40 years of service. Finally there was one I hadn’t recognized. A red patch, decorated with a blue rose in the middle with the words “Flos Occidere” encircling it. I know that Patch I just cant put a name to it!

Passing 19,000m, we were approximately 1 hour from the S.O.S. The Captain turned to me, with his dead glare he said “I want you to go in the Suit and investigate the signal.” I was surprised, “Why me?” I asked. He spoke again, this time without tone “I want you to go in the suit and investigate the signal, thats an order.” I quickly responded “Yes sir!”. But something felt off about him. As we descended, the pressure began to stabilize and I asked him “May I go get a drink, sir?” He nodded quietly, eyes fixated on the sonar, which shifted every few minutes. I got up and began my descent into the musty storage, where I picked up a flashlight, a Seal, and a bottle of water. As I turned around the Engineering Chief was behind me, glaring at me with similarly dead eyes. “You got what you need for your dive?” I nodded, shaken by his posture and gaze, “Wait, how did you know I was diving? The captain never sent out a mess-” He turned around and grabbed a handheld sonar and the Dive Suit I was going to wear, “Better get prepared, we are only 500m from the bottom.” then he shoved them all into my arms and slowly walked away. I was trembling, both from that encounter, and the thought that we were already only 500m away from “The Bottom”. Which means either we are descending fast, or the caves shifted again, bringing the Beacon closer to us for some unexplained reason.

20,000m. We stopped just a few meters away from a Derelict, crushed into itself with triangular holes roughly grinded into the body. The scene was horrendous. I was alone in the jettison chamber, in my suit with an hour of oxygen available to me. I booted up my Seal, and it began to whir rapidly. I turned it off to preserve power, and gave a thumbs up to the camera. Voice Comms werent available in this suit, unfortunately, so I was on my own. The chamber opened and a cold wash of liquid cleaned the scuffs off my suit and I was immediately enveloped by the deep black. The ships bow lights were on, illuminated the whole of the wreck. I booted my Seal up again and it tugged me towards the wreck, where its perched flashlight poked into recesses and revealed exploded Oxygen Tanks and cracked glass. After surveying the outside, I wormed my way within through an incredibly large hold, the same triangular holds decorated the rim of it. The steel door ahead of me was covered in that ichor the crew on the station mentioned, so I wasnt getting in through that. Luckily the way the ship was bent showed a smaller hole that gave way to the inside. I barely squeezed through, and before I knew it I was inside the Medical Bay. Only a distorted arm floated towards the ceiling, other than that, the place was empty. I noticed that the door had claw marks on it, something with incredible strength tried to break in. I found the S.O.S. Beacon and turned it off.

As soon as the switch clicked into place, though, the lights from the sub were gone. Replaced by a deafening squeal of metal against stone, similar to that a rumble began beneath my feet! I had to get out of the sub! I clawed my way to a hole and began to tear through the rusted metal with only my hands. Unfortunately, the metal had cut a hole into my glove! I swam out, searching for my Sub, but nothing was there except the dead black! Limitless, I used my seal to chase upwards for a minute and found nothing, not even the cave walls! I felt a current, a pull, the water shifted from behind me! An unknown presence was here! I quickly descended back to the sub, and sheltered myself inside the Medical Bay. I saw something move, something massive! Enormous teeth and a gaping maw! Eventually, it all went black again, my light flickered off so all I could see was black! It came back on again, illuminated a pale figure in the distance, outside the hole in the sub, a massive mouth with hundreds of teeth, all swirling in an oval! It drew closer and closer, until I could see the shine of its teeth! It slammed into the sub, my light flashed off again, and all I could hear were the hideous moans emitted from the sub itself as it conformed to the mouth biting into it. The rumbling began again, god I cant take another cave shift! It continued for minutes on end until grinding to a halt! It was all quiet! My light still didnt work, the battery finally ran out! I felt the rush of the water, the water shifted again! But this time, it was next to me! I reached for my belt and grabbed an emergency flare, I struggled with the tip for a while and fumbled lighting it, until eventually, it snapped to life! And before me, illuminated by the red of my flare, a horrific figure appeared and disappeared again. It looked to have tentacles! I have no idea! I slowly rose to my feet, the whole medical bay was illuminated now, I could see the hole! Instantly I got up and swam out, where I was met with a distant sound that rang through my body. I felt something slowly envelope my leg, and tug me downwards. I let go of the flare and flailed back and forth as the thing grabbing me did! I was hurled into the sand, where I snagged a small pointed rock, which I used to jab into the gripping mass! With one hand I held it, and with the other I punched into the squishy thing with the rock! It let go, and I began to fall deeper. The flare was below me, showcasing a massive cave, something from my deepest nightmares! The walls were flexing and slowly writhing into itself, weaving a horrid shape around me. I continued to fall, feeling the water rush around me, watching the flare as it too fell. The walls began to slowly narrow, until only a small hole, big enough for one person to fit was found. It looked like it was excavated. When I gently landed beside the hole, I picked up the now dying flare. I raised it, nothing was around me! But i felt the water rushing to and fro. I reluctantly hopped into the hole, and slowly descended into it. I fell for what felt like hours, before reaching a small cave with no way out. When I hit the ground, a horrific sound bellowed through the cave. Another groan. The flare died out. I was alone in a crunchy pit. It felt like the floors were made of wood that had been burnt to cinders.

An hour passed, I began crying, watching my Oxygen Supply deplete slowly. Just let me die already. Before me, I saw a small yellow light, it was growing in size! Its the end! I’m free! I jumped to my feet and stammered closer! On my approached I realized, it was something physical. The size of a Walnut, growing, becoming more bright. It began to illuminate something it was hanging on. I moved in for a closer look, my hand outstretched to grab the pulsing seed. Until the seed flashed brightly, and showcased the horror that held it. Long, gangly hands. All its bones were grotesquely lengthened, and a swirling mass of tentacles weaving into a ball laid at its feet. A human skeleton. Its ribcage still loosely intact, and its arms slowly enveloping me. The skull was fully dysmorphic, the upper half of the skull was lengthened with sharp, elongated teeth pointing from the front. Below its jaw hung, barely held to to the skull. From the roof of the mouth, the seed hung. How was it moving? The last thought that crossed my mind. Only to be answered, by the realization of that very black ichor covering the joints and crossing from one bone to another. As its arms closed in, its head moved towards me, and the light began to fade.

#horror story #horror literature #writeblr #writing #writers #creative writing #science fiction #sci fi #Youtube

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klaus-is-the-real-number-1 · 6 years ago

Text

This Is How It Feels (number five x reader)

A/N: i made it into a fic,, like a highschool au,, hope you enjoy like,, idk, u know them typical fics where its like ‘i dare you to graft them’ or ‘pretend to date’ and then then end up liking each other or,, i dunno. I got pure carried away sorry.(ok so i made some names up for people so, your best friend is: Beth and Beths older brother is: Dante) i havent proof read sorry :(

spazclaiire said: hii could i request headcanons or a fix of excuses five has used to hold your hand or ‘four times five had an excuse to hold your hand and the one time he went for it’ please? thank youu

words:3350

Books weighed down your arms as they spilled over the threshold of your carrying limits, they were heavy, a mix of ring binders and oversized textbooks were making you sway like a drunk man. People barging past in steady streams didn’t help your balancing act either, stumbling every few seconds hoping that the library got closer quicker.

Swinging open the door to the library your eyes scan the room for the table you and your friends usually sit at and by ‘usually’ you actually mean every single break you get, whether its just for 5 minuets or the full hour you get for lunch or free periods. The table in question even had all your names written on the underside along with other random scribblings and doodles. You make eye contact with a few people on your table as you get closer.

“Y/n, I’ve got some tea to spill, and it involves you!” Beth excitably suggests. Beth always had some new tea to spill, she was a see all hear all person, it also helped that her older brother was in the year above and in the group of the schools self proclaimed ‘bad boys’. She always knows what they’re planning, the who, what, why and where, she had it down to a T.

Speaking of ‘T’, any tea involving you wasn’t good, there had been drama circulating about you before and it took long enough for that to die down. You sigh, hoping it’s got nothing to do with the group of ‘bad boys’. “Go on then, spill.”

“Five Hargreeves has his eyes on you.” Of course, Five was the year above and one of the smartest students in the entire school. The only reason he even knew who you were is because his best friend is Beth’s brother and you were in his AP physics. He was also classed as the fittest boy in school with the worst reputation yet the cleanest slate.

“For god’s sake, why?” The last thing you wanted was for Five to actually care about who you were, he was a heart breaker, something that you just didn’t need.

“I’m not too sure, I haven’t heard much about the plan, but there is a plan so just be cautious. He’s probably after you because you’re fit.” You smile at her words. “Are you in the art building for lunch again?” You just nod in response.

You had been spending an increasing amount of time in the art buildings, it was just a soft and aesthetically pleasing environment to be in and it meant you’d actually get your work done. You could sit and draw for hours but with how hectic life was the art buildings was a safe getaway. So at lunchtime that’s where you found yourself, aimlessly painting the view out of the window, fields and trees and streams filled the canvas. You were in your own world, minding your own business.

“Your painting is really pretty, but not as pretty as you.” There it was, not only half a day after being warned about Five Hargreeves he was already trying to chat you up. He was leant against a wall behind you, scanning your figure and the painting. “And I was here thinking you were just a brain and a pretty face.” It was a pitiful, low effort attempt and a half-arsed compliment.

“What do you want, Hargreeves?” It may of sounded harsh but you didn’t want to deal with his bad attempts at flirting.

“Harsh much,” He jokingly placed a hand over his heart. “Listen I need a favour, all you have to do is walk out of this building holding my hand and pretend to date me for about 2 days maybe.” A shockingly fake smile spread across his face as he held his hand out.

“So let me guess,” You tapped your finger on your chin, mockingly thinking. “I’ll pretend to date you, you’ll win some sort of bet and then the best part is when you tell everyone we shagged then you dumped me right after!” You returned his bittersweet fake smile. “I’m going to have to pass Hargreeves, I’d rather not be apart of one of your silly little games.”

With a tut, he turned around to leave the block not before having the last word. “You’ll fall in love with me eventually y/n, they always do.” You could help but to scoff as he walked out of the room, he was too cocky, all the years he always had any girl he ever wanted to drop at his feet but not you.

Time ticked away slowly until it came to AP Physics, it was a brutal way to end the day often ending with being completely worn out. You were concentrating on rearranging the equations that needed to be used, it was going well until a piece of scrunched paper landed where you were writing. You simply brush it to the side and continue with your work, you had a faint idea who it was from seen as Five sat on the opposite side of your table of 4, ideal, you know.

“y/n.” His foot playfully tapped yours, causing you to roll your eyes. “Open it.”

So you did, only to be met with the more than classy words ‘my offer still stands ;)’ You couldn’t believe it, looking him in the eyes you pretended to ponder his decision, swiftly followed by tearing the note up and sliding it back over to him. Fives mouth hung open, you smugly go back to what you were working on.

Five was relatively quite for the rest of the class, resulting in it going much quicker than it normally would. He would sometimes answer questions but other than that there was no more chew from Five. In a blink of an eye it was time to go home to rest and recuperate from a long day of lessons, to prepare for the exact same the next day, the same as you do every day.

Five paced around his room, he hadn’t lost a bet yet and he wasn’t going to start losing them now. It was a simple bet, make y/n fall for him. Five didn’t particularly want to follow through with this bet, it wasn’t fair on y/n seen as she hadn’t done anything wrong to Five. Dante had only made Five do the bet as he knew Five used to have a slight thing for y/n, it was almost comedically convenient that Dante’s younger sister was best friends with y/n, Dante couldn’t help himself whenever y/n was around his house with Beth to make a comment about it. But despite all this, he couldn’t lose the bet.

The next day, Five had a plan, he knew that in AP Physics the teacher was about to set a new project to be completed in pairs, so naturally he went straight to the teacher. “Sir, for that paired project I really think I should work with y/n, we’d work so well together.” He practically begged his teacher.

“I’ll think about it Five, but if I do place you together, please make an effort to improve your behaviour. It’s your last year and you have such great potential, don’t waste it.” The spiel was met by a roll of Fives eyes followed by a muttered ‘sure’. Five regularly got this talk all the time, everyone says that he needs to focus his academic knowledge into something, anything, but he’s just not motivated by anything. Everything had either been invented or is being invented so there was just no point in trying.

The weekend drew closer with every ticking minuet, teasing you with every small movement of the hands, counting down like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. You were sat in your last lesson, AP Physics, took your seat and took out your supplies. You lazily observed as the rest of your class walked in, you gave and received a few smiles to and from various classmates until last person the last person in, Five Hargreeves, he waltzed into the room with confidence oozing from him.

Before Five had a chance to speak the teacher was already up and writing the title on the board ‘electromagnetism’. As soon as the words appeared on the board a collective groan of despair was heard throughout the room.

“So,” The teacher started, clearly enjoying the sudden drop in mood. “I know how much you all love electromagnetism, so what were going to do is work in pairs to create a powerpoint and a poster covering all the aspects of electromagnetism!” The room livened up a bit at the prospect of working with a friend, that was until the teacher continued. “I have put you in pairs, so listen in as I call the pairs out and then move next to your new physics partner.”

People moved about the room to sit next to their project partner, you listened closely to hear who you’d be partnered with this time. “Y/n?” “Sir.” “You’re with Five Hargreeves.” You see Fives face light up as he slides his books across the desk the the seat next to yours, the smug grin never leaving his face once.

You begin to write down what you had to do for the presentation, feeling Fives eyes stare into the side of your head. “So over the weekend can you do as much research on magnetic flux, flux density and field strength and I’ll cover BH curves and permeability, does that sound good?”

“Why don’t we just meet up over the weekend and make a start together?” He nudged your elbow, your pen run up your page, ruining the word you were writing.

“Can’t. I’m working all weekend.” Which was met with a small ‘o’ from Five, he turns way and messily scribbles on a sheet of paper and then slides it back over to you.

“Well if you can’t meet up this weekend then at least have my number.” You slightly smile and fold the piece of paper up and slip it into your notebook. Before Five could slip in another word the bell rang, signalling the end of the day. You say your goodbyes and begin the walk home, it was a fairly long walk home maybe reaching around 30 minuets but it was always a pretty sight to walk through the woods during the spring, pink petals from the cherry blossoms littered the ground, colouring the dull world waking up from winter.

Once home you stared at the crumpled paper with Fives number on it, also noticing the smaller scribbled snapchat username. It felt like a smarter decision just to add him on snap for now but save his number in your contacts, just in case. As soon as you added him he accepted within a matter of seconds, followed by a picture message ‘hey x’ it read. You simply send a picture back of your blank wall and place your phone down, you let a small laugh as your phone buzzes again.

Sitting at your desk, you pulled out your books and your laptop to make a start on the physics work. You just couldn’t help but check what Five had responded, clicking his name you were met with his face in a pout. You respond with a picture of you sticking your tongue out, which got a response quickly. This stream of photos carried on until the early hours of the morning not even realising the time and that in a mere 6 hours you had to go to work, you send ‘night’ to Five and place your phone on the side, a small smile on your face as you drifted to sleep.

Five laid awake, considering calling the bet off all together. Hours of talking to y/n only felt like minuets, Five wanted to get to know y/n on his own terms not on the terms of a bet. He shouldn’t of accepted the bet to begin with, his competitiveness got the best of him.

The weekend went far to quickly for your liking, mixed with work and school work. Five was also non-stop messaging you throughout the weekend, he found a way to talk to you about everything and anything, often sending long video messages of him walking round his giant house, you could always hear the shouts of his siblings in the background.

Monday nights were the one night of the week that you enjoyed, Monday was movie night at Beth’s house. The night usually went that straight after school you’d take over the living room, bringing out the blankets and extra pillows, you would both then decide what films to watch and what food to get. Once that was all done you’d both bunker down and start the movies, getting ready for a long night.

About halfway through the first movie Five and Dante slowly made their way into the main room, stealing some of your pizza before sitting down on the sofa to join you. Five took a seat next to you while Dante sat on an armchair, Five pulled your blanket so it was covering both of you, leaning back into the sofa you could feel physically how close he was to you and it was driving you mad.

Beth caught your eyes and wiggled her eyebrows, you responded by sending a cheeky wink with a joking smile. As the night moved on and the movies continued, you and Five slowly moved closer throughout the movie marathon, it couldn’t of been helped, you were both like two magnets.

The final scene in The Breakfast Club was playing, both Beth and Dante had already fallen asleep, you felt Fives hand touch the side of yours. You slightly push your hand back against his, welcoming the warmth as his touch, your reaction invited him to link his fingers with yours. Light from the TV bounced off the features of his face, defining his angled lines of his face, you couldn’t deny that he was handsome, very handsome.

The screen of the TV turned dark as you used the remote to switch it off, a dim glow of the moon shone through the open windows, the moment was romantic, overly romantic but it was the sleepiness making you ignore the voice that was screaming that he didn’t mean it, he had an end game and you couldn’t forget that.

You pulled your hand from Five and lean over to Beth and lightly shake her shoulders. “Beth, its 20 past 1, I think it’s time to go to bed.” She responds by making some unclear noises and began to sit up, you smile and stand up pulling her with you. You spare a glance back at Five before continuing upstairs, unable to stop the tingling feeling in your hand.

Eventually, you had to meet up with Five to work on the physics project, you both hadn’t spoken since Monday night. Well not exactly, Five had been messaging you a lot but you just hadn’t been responding because all you could think about was if he had a possible end game. You didn’t want to get played by Five.

You heard soft steps getting closer, you look up to meet Fives eyes. “Hey.” He spoke in a soft voice in the quiet library. He pulled a chair out from besides you and sat down, pulling his textbooks out of his bag. You both made small talk during your work, it was a nice atmosphere in the library, a nice atmosphere between you and Five with no looming pressure after what happened Monday night.

A breeze drifted through the large room, causing you to break out in goosebumps and shiver. You decided that morning that you could just wear a T-shirt with no jacket as the sun was out, how wrong you were when dark clouds swarmed over.

“Do you want to borrow my hoodie?” Five asked, but he was already taking it off to give to you.

“Oh no Five it’s okay, it’s my own fault I forgot my jacket. Anyways what would you wear?” Despite how cold you were you really didn’t want to borrow Fives hoodie, he would be just as cold as you were.

“No please y/n, take it. I’ve got an extra jacket in my locker anyways.” He pushed his hoodie into your hands. You could tell he was probably lying about it but you sheepishly took his hoodie and put it on, it was warm and you couldn’t help but smile a little bit.

You mutter your thanks, a warm flush coming over your face as you continue to work on your project until your next lesson. Once the bell rang, you both left to opposite directions, you completely forgot that you had Fives hoodie on until you sat next to Beth in english to be passed a scrap piece of paper with scribbled writing ‘That’s not your hoodie???’ you smile at the sheet and just write back ‘Five’s’

You didn’t see Five for the rest of the day until you got a message during the last lesson. ‘meet me near math class at the end of the day x’ It wasn’t a question, he was telling you. You send an ‘ok’ and continue with your lesson, constantly distracted by the ticking arms of the clock, counting down it’s last minuets.

As the clock strikes 3 you make your way to the math department, you were fighting against the tide as everyone rushed to get out of school. As the crowed begun to thin you saw Five standing outside the maths classroom, standing hoodie-less. He made his way towards you, smile present on his face.

“Where’s this jacket that was meant to be in your locker?” He just laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

“I mean my hoodie looks better on you than it did on me so I don’t mind.” You smile at him and begin your decent through the school. “So I was thinking we could just like, go for a walk? It’s just nice spending time with you.”

You both aimlessly wandered around town until finding a small cafe to reside in when the weather started to turn, Five had a black coffee and you had a hot chocolate. The room was filled with noise from others in the cafe and also from the outside world that couldn’t reach you in your own little world.

“Five, not to sound daft or anything but are you still trying to do this for the bet or are you being genuine?” You didn’t want to sound harsh but you were still unsure if this was genuine or just an oscar winning act.

“y/n,” He reached over and took your hand. “I called the bet off just before Monday night, as soon as I came to the school and saw you I knew straight away I wanted to be with you.” He ran his thumb gently over your knuckles. “I know you wont trust me right away but I want to make you trust me, I want you to feel the same way about me as I do for you.”

“Okay.”

All it took was that one word to kickstart your time with Five. It started small, handholding any chance he got, he seemed to always need to be close, holding and hugging you. He was so affectionate and almost touched starved, begging like a stray puppy. Five slowly gained your trust and love for him, he had an infinite amount of hoodies and oversized T-shirts, truth be told you were pretty sure Five just loved to see you in his clothes.

You and Five were cuddled up on your bed, he was running his fingers through your hair as light cut through the curtains, lighting the room in a heavenly glow. Five placed a kiss on the side on your head, pulling you closer as he did.

“Y/n, I think I’m in love with you.” You smile and lean into his embrace.

“I think I’m in love with you too, Five.”

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jxeyhudson · 4 years ago

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yo i literally bought little nightmares, batman arkham knight, need for speed heat, mlb the show 20, and nba 2k20 and youre probably going “wow em thats a bit... much?” and yes. but im not done. i also downloaded the update for the last of us part 2 and have started an infinite ammo/infinite crafting run in an effort to complete the game. and i do want to give permadeath a shot for funsies. and youre probably at this point like “......thats a lot” and yes. but im still not done. i still havent finished the dlc of assassins creed odyssey or the witcher 3. before you say anything. yes. i know. but theres more. i got god of war and death stranding both for christmas. and i have not even put either of them into the ps4 yet. so if youre sitting there going “bruh” right now please dont think about the fact that im also taking 18 hours worth of classes completely online, working on 2 separate manuscripts, acting as community liaison for my student org, helping run phone banks for local candidates, coding an interactive horror story, planning a season of a tv series, and writing fanfiction more consistently than i ever have before. and i do plan on reading the ballad of songbirds and snakes, finishing lucifer and grace and frankie, watching tlok and the clone wars, catching up on walking dead, rewatching the twilight movies, finally watching the harry potter movies in order, and i am thinking about taking up cave painting. plus i already know my dumbass self is participating in nanowrimo this year so theres that to consider. and my mother says i dont do anything with my time. pft.

#i also have depressive episodes on the agenda but thats not a new development #my brain is truly zoomin these days #personal

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thisisgracetrying · 4 years ago

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A little about me!

So uh... hi!

I've been thinking about how much I want to meet @taylorswift and Swifites all around dn the world but I never really post anything here about me, so why would she or anyone be like "oh yes, i want to meet her too" I mean for all we know I could be a crazy person right? (I've watched way too many crime-drama shows, I'm so sorry, DUN DUN). Well here I go.

My name is Grace, I was born and raised in Venezuela. I'm 27 years old. I graduated from Law school when I was 24 and that same year I moved out of my home country, I've lived in Buenos Aires, Argentina and I'm currently living in Medellín, Colombia. Buenos Aires is so pretty I loved it there, I learned so much about myself, but I think I like Medellín better because it reminds me a lot of Venezuela, plus the weather is lovely.

I'm married (got married this year, I've posted a few pictures about it lol) my wedding song was Lover, other songs that define my relationship would be, stay, stay, stay, starlight, daylight, mary's song (one of my favorites lol), crazier, you are in love, this love, fearless, call it what you want... so basically any love song Taylor has ever written lol. I need to mention this because before I started dating my husband I thought I would NEVER relate to these songs, so if you're thinking love is not for you and heart break is all there is, TRUST ME, it is not.

I became a Swiftie back in 2008, I was about to turn 16. I heard Love Story somewhere and I got obsessed, then I found out she was dating Joe Jonas, and that she was about to release her 2nd album, so I was like WAIT THERE'S ONE ALBUM ALREADY? HOW COME I HAVENT LISTENED IT YET? and that was it, I was hooked, playing her first album on repeat everyday... however that did not prepare me for what was coming up next.

As soon as I listened to Fearless, I just knew I would stan Taylor my whole life. I was going thro some stuffs back then, I was heart broken for the first time, a good friend of my had died and I felt like i just hated everything, but deep down I was just very very sad. When I look back at who I was back then it makes me wanna cry because I felt so alone... and then this album came out. She shook my world, took my hand and walked me thro all of it. And for that @taylorswift I'm eternally grateful.

The rest is history.

Now because I am a Latin Swifite I was not able to see her live until I was living in Buenos Aires and I was financially independent. I had a good life in Venezuela but my parents couldn't afford a trip to the US for a concert, it is really sad to love someone and their work so much and not being able to see them perform live, but I've sworn to myself that it wont happen again, as long as I'm alive (and im not broke of course lol) I will go to every tour of every era.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes I feel like an outsider in the fandom, most of the time is because I feel old? lol but I dont have like fan accounts, I just have my personal accounts and I'm always spamming them with Taylor lol because I dont feel like I need to separe being a Swiftie from who I am because thats such an important part of my life, however I do get why people do it. I lover her with all my heart and will always support her in the ways I can, but sometimes it does feel like I dont do enough compare to others, I know comparison is poison but i cant help it. I just want to point that out in case someone else feels this way, you're not alone.

The Reputation tour was truly something else. I cried, laughed, danced, sang all the songs like a lunatic and I was able to enjoy all that with 2 of my best friends.

I've always dealt with body issues, I was a gymnast for the majority of my childhood and adolescent years and there was a lot of pressure to be thin and maintaining that weight, by the time I was 9 I was counting calories and by the time I was 11 I knew what an eating disorder was. So when Taylor talked about her struggle with her body my heart felt for her but i was also very proud, it takes a lot of strength to do that. Sometimes we are making excuses because we dont wanna face the truth, or we are thinking "Oh no I dont really have an issue" but every so often once someone we look up to does it, it makes us realize that it is ok to seek help.

Right now I feel a little lost because we are in the middle of this global pandemic and I'm not as happy with my job as i was before (I work remote and have been doing the same thing for 5 years now) I thought 2020 was the year of changes and me finally going out there and finding a new job and maybe study something or learn something new. But I'm working on not being so hard on myself, stop overthinking (but damn its so difficult lol, I always picture the worst case scenario) and just be grateful for what I do have right now. I know there are a lot of people struggling right now and I'm very privileged just to have a roof over my hand, a full stomach, a healthy body and a lovely family. So if youre feeling off right now, its a global thing, we are all in this together, and I feel like this will be over sooner than our crazy minds thing (or at least I HOPE SO lol).

So last but not least a few random facts about me: (cause I dont want to make this already long ass post even longer)

I really enjoy dancing, writing, going to the movies, cooking and everything that is make up related.

I wish i could paint but I think I'd suck. I should give it a try lol.

I like perfumes that smell like flowers and candy.

i love rainy days when I have nothing to do and sunny days when I'm in a bad mood lol.

I have a 3 year old dog, his name is Brooklyn and I love him with ALL MY HEART, hes my baby.

When I moved to Argentina, my bff friend since i was 15 and I lived together, I treasure the moments we shared and I miss him a lot, so as soon as I knew i was moving to Colombia we decided to get a matching tattoo, we got "Cornelia St" because its out favorite song out of Lover and I hope I never lose him.

And that is it for now! if anyone read this, THANK YOU and feel free to comment anything about yourself! I love to read and learn about other people!

Have a wonderful day.

Hey if youre reading this! find me on twitter: graceohmymymy lets be friends!

#life #facts #taylor swift #swiftie #love #heartbreak #taylorswift #reputation tour #latin swiftie #feeling down #moving on #about me

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yung-gunshot · 5 years ago

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In questions!

thank you denna @kisamas

1. What takes up too much of your time? rn its mainly vibeo game and anime. i still play djmax respect like almost every single day plus also playing ace combat 5 & 7 and i recently finished watching ergo proxy which was pretty cool

2. What makes your day better? cooking something yummy like pasta or curry makes my day better and just generally playing games something that distracts me from my problems at the moment

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? i made pasta with sausage, broccoli, and spinach for dinner and it was really good

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? hm i havent really thought about this but i think it would be cool to see the netsphere from blame! but without being involved in all the fucked up stuff i just love the architecture

5. Are you good at giving advice? i would like to think so but none of my friends i know irl reach out to me so maybe i think not i just speak bollocks

6. Do you have a mental illness? hm not sure, i never got officially diagnosed but im pretty sure i may have developed depression ever since i graduated hs

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? i dont think i have

8. What musician inspires you the most? not sure about musicians but deathgrips and jpegmafia have kinda inspired me at the moment just because they make whatever they want without being afraid of what people think of them

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yea its happened twice now

10. What’s your dream date? i dont really think about this just because i dont think it will ever happen but i think just hanging out and going hiking anywhere would be nice and i really enjoy checking out new places to eat in town

11. What do others notice about you? not really sure about this question tbh maybe that im really easy to get along with? and i dont like the fact that i exist outside of my own perception

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? isolation? but also i tend to bounce my leg and play with my hair a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? nope

14. How many exes do you have? 2

15. How many songs are in your playlist? im not really sure i just have 3 playlists on spotify that most songs go to depending on the mood they are pretty huge though so id say at least 100 per playlist

16. What instruments can you play? i used to be able to play the trumpet in elementary

17. What do you have the most pictures of? i have lots of landscape pics from the places i go camping and hiking then its just anime girls memes etc

18. Where would you like to go before you die? i think it would be really nice to see japan, korea, and indonesia plus also visit every national park here in the us and some parts in mexico like cancun and puebla

19. What’s your zodiac? aquarius

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but most of the time i think its stupid

21. What is happiness to you? just living a life where i dont have to maintain a certain image of myself and free from the pressures of modern day life and capitalism

22. Are you going through anything right now? yea i still havent registered for fall classes yet and also havent been able to find a job either and i lost my friendship with my best friend a month ago

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? i think telling my best friend i grew feelings for them is by far the worst thing ive done to date and its just something im never going to forgive myself for

24. What’s your favorite store? winco, samber and la chiquita (local hispanic stores) and grocery outlet

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nope

27. Do you have a favorite album? ive had a few as my all time fav like Emily’s D+Evolution , To Pimp A Butterfly and Toxicity, rn though im really enjoying Dog Whistle by Show Me the Body, Infest the Rats’ Nest by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and Veteran by Jpegmafia

28. What do you want for your birthday? maybe some new cardigans and candles would be nice

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? i think people see me as a quiet and distant person because i dont talk that often when meeting new people

30. What age do you seem according to most people? my age (21) -/+ 1

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? i keep it on the corner of my bed next to my head

32. What word do you say the most? bollocks, bellend, fuck, worm

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 25

34. What’s the youngest you would date? maybe 20 but they would have to be a very specific type of person for me to consider dating them, safe bet with 21

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? art teacher

36. What’s your favorite music genre? it used to be hip hop for a really long time but now i like rock and metal but really ill listen to anything except for country and edm. ive also just been listening to a ton of vibeo game and anime music too

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i honestly think if the world wasn’t dictated by money i would want to live in mexico or japan tbh i like the us but just for the nature and landscapes

38. What is your current favorite song? Camp Orchestra by Show Me the Body

39. How long have you had this blog for? i think i started in the middle or end of 2015

40. What are you excited for? i cant really say im looking forward for anything other than death stranding coming out and the dlc for ace combat 7

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im a better listener than i am a talker bc when i talk i cant even understand what im saying sometimes. listening is much more important to me bc i can actually process what people are saying

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i talked to my adviser today and made some food and took my dog out for a walk at the park

43. What do you want for Christmas? i would like more board games to play with my cousins and friends and maybe some new pants too

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont know about best grades but its usually my painting and drawing courses

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 5

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? i honestly dont know and the only thing that comes to mind is being a teacher? i just live day to day

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i guess after i graduated hs we were talking before we graduated but things sorta fell apart and i realized my feelings a bit too late to change anything

48. What age do you want to get married? not sure since i cant see myself being taken seriously enough to want to marry but i guess ill say any age before 40

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i dont quite remember but i recall wanting to do space travel so maybe an astronaut? or astronomer

50. What do you crave right now? emotional stability, some taro milk tea, and more pasta\

im gonna tag @deredere @euthymiclurker and @dementatree :)

#a lot of the questions i honestly didnt know how to answer sorry if they were trash

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survivor-rotuma · 5 years ago

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Ep. 2: “iF yOu SeE a VoLcAnO wHy NoT jUmP oVeR iT” - Marie

Marie

Fuckin volcano

Felix

I feel secure because Charlie is going to be the one to go. I just know it. If we go to tribal that is. They have barely spoken and I don't know them too well. Might be the same for everyone else here

Marie

Still salty bout the goddamn volcano

Marie

iF yOu SeE a VoLcAnO wHy NoT jUmP oVeR iT

Flint

I am really enjoying the banter with Jay and our tribe. Having a great time with this immunity challenge and chatting with Joey and Felix. Wish the other tribe mates were as active.

Brianna

Ya know coming into this competition i didn’t expect it to be me and Bradley as the last two people representing our team. I guess he’s gonna be more active now since his busy week is over so that’s swell but like. God I really wanna sleep.

Felix

To sum up, I feel like I am getting a deeper bond with Flint and Joey. They seem to be willing to talk with me most often. So, even if we do go to tribal I am safe for the most part. I just feel like I am liked in the tribe. Also, I am the one putting in the most work for the tribe, so I have that going for me. I just feel safe because of the work I have put in, but I don't want to give up just yet. If I can avoid tribal, then I will. According to both Joey and Flint, Suzy and Charlie have been very inactive. Therefore, it will be them on the chopping block come time for tribal. Joey thinks Charlie is more inactive whereas Flint thinks Suzy is more inactive. It'll just come down to what Cassie and I feel in the end. Doesn't hurt us either way since I think they are the weakest links on our tribe, especially Charlie. I don't think she put in enough effort last immunity challenge. Plus, she was totally inactive for this challenge that she auto-lost. Cassie missed this challenge too, but she at least did really well last challenge. If we go to tribal, I think I would vote for Charlie in the end since they are the person I feel least closest to. If only Bradley dropped, I could win this challenge for my tribe and cement my place as a valuable asset.

Lysandre

I am SO SORRY GIGI! I thought you were a returnee so I decided to snap! The comment looked pretty mean compared to the others, which it was. The tribe, Marie and Kathleen, was wondering who said the mean comment and they believed it was David. I said yeah I think it was him as well. I love accidently painting a target in him and being a rat child.

Lysandre

Ok so I completely missed the challenge! I had no idea it was going to start early and I was at ine of ny sibling's events. I'm rooting for my team and hoping that my absence doesn't paint a target on my back. Also! I am loving being Lysandre! The writer in me is having a field day because I get to create a character and their background, quirks, and personality BUT THEN I GET TO BECOME THEM.

Flint

I couldn't outlast that second Immunity challenge. It was fun but my body couldn't carry on. I hope that Felix can pull through for Tuai! If we have to go to tribal I think it will be an easy vote, for me at least. I think that Cassie or Suzy should go. Cassie hasn't shown much initiative as our leader and Suzy isn't very social.

Bradley

This challenge is taking forever. Im the last one for my tribe. I dont want to lose cuz itll suck and havent been on that much so my soical game isnt too strong either. I just want to beat one tribe.

Cassie

I'm so proud of Felix for sticking it out for the tribe so that we don't have to go to tribal tonight. Plus we still have the numbers advantage, so that is always a positive.

Flint

So relieved we won immunity again! The Tuai tribe is unstoppable so look out! I'm a little jealous that Felix won an advantage but he deserves it and maybe with some buttering up he'll share the information with me.

Felix

Can you believe I have done THAT! I single-handedly won this challenge for my tribe, and got an advantage on top of that. I know why Raul and Kathleen gave it to me, though. If I won and people knew I had an advantage, I would have a big target on my back. It does seem that Kathleen and Raul are working together, so I have to watch out for them. Whether I tell this to anyone on my tribe is a different matter entirely. Though they all know I have an advantage. I think I won't be seen as a threat until later on in the game. I'm still an asset to them though this early on so I hope I would stay if we had to go to tribal in this stage of the game.

Raul

I really did not think I was gonna be able to compete but I got back into it was in the last 2 of our tribe. When it came down to 4 of us 2vs1vs1 we knew we needed to just knock out Bradley and he did that to himself. The best thing to come out was that Kathleen and I grew together plus I'm pretty sure I know the identity of Kathleen which helps cause I love this person. Also there was a individual advantage to be won and Felix had 0 while Kathleen and I had 2. Kathleen and I had decided that Felix could have it but try to work a little magic and make a relationship with him and a deal to work together if the opportunity arose. My smart self realized that that if we just gave it to him it would be announced we made a deal, so I said we continue the comp and just throw it that way it wouldn't be revealed what we were actually doing. This way it keeps this threesome possibility a secret. Whether it remains one or not we shall see. At the very least we aren't going to tribal. Hoorah, 1 point Raul the Snake 0 points survivor gods . . .

Kathleen

"Ohhhh bitch this ones gonna be different from my last one.

David? Trash. Will 100% be the one to go next tribal we go to if I have anything to say about it.

Marie? The sweetest and most opinionated 13 year old I’ve ever met. We love a politically aware teen.

Lysandre? *insert that lady Gaga gif of her going ‘gorgeous, amazing incredible’ ect*

And Raul? I’m sooo glad we were the last two left in the immunity challenge. We bonded AND made an underhanded deal with someone from another tribe. Can you say icons?

Hotel? Trivago."

Bradley

I could still potentially be going home. Since someone brought up the fact that they all talked how they havent talked to me a lot. They do appreciate me doing really well in the challenge and i have Apollo and Brianna wanting to work with me each separately. So hopefully i can avoid being voted off this round and just work on more social connections with them all.

Suzy

love felix but lowkey what if they are doing this for everyone

Boris

"Hello im STRESSED. I went from feeling like im in a comfortable position on the tribe, to the absolute bottom just in one day. Being forced to sit out of the challenge really fucked me up. I feel like the tribe is low-key bitter at me.

And on top of that. We have less than 12 hours to vote someone out. And NO ONE is really talking game to me. Im so nervous. The only person I connect with on a game level is Apollo. I have no idea where the tribe is leaning, but I have a sinking feeling its me.

God I hope im wrong and just insanely paranoid. "

Boris

"IN HAPPIER NEWS. I finally got something GOOD in the idol hunt? And it could be game changing!!!

I found 1 half of a super idol. It can't help me tonight but its leverage, and a super idol is the most powerful thing in the game, it could literally save my life in the future of the game. All i have to do is survive tonight, if I have to use the super idol piece as leverage, I will. "

Felix

I think the advantage is less about doing someone on the other tribe a favor. I'm telling everyone about it because, if I do that, it garners trust because they know I'll be open with them about any advantages I have. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to tell the truth to gain trust. The extra vote could also get me an ally on the other side. Let's see if this plays out like I hope it does.

David

Everyone is nice which makes it hard to decide who to vote off. Performance in the next challenge will base my vote and probably others.

Felix

I think my plan is working. Cassie offered me an alliance with her and Flint. I think those two are really cool so I think working with them is in my best interest. Also, I have connections with Mea through Raul and Kathleen. Hopefully, since I'm giving an extra vote to Bradley, I can gain a connection with him despite not having met him. I hope this plays out well! My social game seems to be climbing!

Felix

I have made my first alliance in this game! It's the Tuai Quad Alliance, LLC featuring Cassie, Joey, Flint, and I. It's basically everyone I wanted to work with since the beginning of the game! I think I have found myself in a good position on this tribe. To be honest, I'd like to see Charlie go first, but we'll see how this all pans out. I'm glad I finally have a security blanket though. Hurray for a good social game!

Cassie

I love being a part of the Tuai tribe and was happy to become the leader. Despite liking all of my tribemates, I've become part of an alliance. We're calling it the TQA, LLC. Maybe someday that can be trademarked, hehe. But the Tuai Quad power is strong with Felix, Flint, Joey, and myself.

Brianna

Well. We lost the challenge. I made a pact with Bradley that we should stick together since we were the last two people left in the challenge. I also talked to Apollo and Boris. I seem to be close to them. Boris mentioned making an alliance with me, him, Bradley, and Apollo and I would be totes down for that. So. Guess this will be pretty simple hopefully

Zest

I just cast my first vote and it was wild. I didn't know what to expect going in to tribal. I hope no one blindsides me because I am really getting invested in this game. I think while my performance in the last challange wasn't the greatest, I can still be a strong social player. Not sure if I'm feeling like Parvati or Hannah Shapiro. I need another few weeks to find out what kind of player I am going to be.

Charlie

I feel so bad for missing the challenge but once again not much new is happening.

Boris

"I have been putting in WERK todah to make sure I'm in the best possible position going into tonight.

I first was talking to Brianna, and she mentioned the only people she didnt wanna vote was me, Apollo, and Bradley. So, naturally, when presented with a majority of the tribe, I suggest an alliance! Ofc she agrees hehe, so now thats in the works.

On my tribe, the most likable people and those I get along with/vibe the most with is Apollo and Zest. I approach them both and plant that seed, another alliance of just us three forms. Im SO excited to be working with them, we bounce off each other really well and I truly think we can go to the end together.

So yeah, even tho I was worried this morning I think I placed myself in a near perfect position. I really don't think theres any way I leave tonight. "

Joey

unfortunately, i wasn’t the best in the challenge but at least i showed up! i was invited in by cassie to an alliance with her felix and flint, but it was obvious i was the last one asked. i plan on being loyal, but i need to let cassie play leader while i get closer with felix. slow and steady.

Thomas M

Not much, Bradley did well on the challenge but unfortunately we are in the bottom. Have been preoccupied with a big assignment so have not gotten to fully experience things in the last round at least. Am nervous of who is going to get booted, excited to see what's to come!

Marie

Wow, idol hunt hates me

Apollo

We lost, I feel like I’m getting played though, if this is the last you’ve seen of Apollo, it’s been a great run!

Brianna

I’m really laughing over Thomas’ first message to me after we lost 30 minutes before tribal....like...it’s a little too late sorry bud

Bradley

It looks like the vote should be Thomas which Im fine with. And theres an alliance of Borris, Apollo, and Brianna who want to make a four person with me which makes me really happy. Started off rocky in this game but with challenge preformance actually helped me a lot.

Apollo

Borris and Apollo? “Name a more iconic duo”

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years ago

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In this week’s bonus content, you get a sneak peek into our unvarnished workflow, kazoos and all

DAVESPRITE: you and dirk havent killed each other DAVESPRITE: im proud HALSPRITE: By some minor miracle, yes. We even managed to be in the same room without breaking out into a slap fight. DAVESPRITE: im sure resisting took all your processing power HALSPRITE: Pity you can't uninstall rage from a meatbrain. DAVESPRITE: he doesnt seem that bad HALSPRITE: Nah, he and I worked it out. He might have wanted to push me into the volcano, but the important thing is that he didn't. HALSPRITE: We're both trying to "be the bigger person". Which in a way, is just another dick measuring contest for the pair of us. But it gets fewer glasses stomped on. DAVESPRITE: hey if it works DAVESPRITE: mines chilled out too actually its kind of freaky DAVESPRITE: i wonder if someones slipping him valium this is the perkiest ive been since show and tell in the first grade DAVESPRITE: which consequently was the last show and tell i was allowed to participate in DAVESPRITE: maybe i dont need to overextend myself distinguishing our brands DAVESPRITE: here i was thinking about finally ditching the shades HALSPRITE: That would be a shake-up. HALSPRITE: You thought paradoxes were bad? This is set to bomb reality straight back to singularity levels. DAVESPRITE: i mean these were a gift from john and im not sure the same sentiments extended anymore DAVESPRITE: plus i spent the last 3 years on a dayglo yellow ship and back in the incipisphere its fuckin dark with these on DAVESPRITE: the chess dudes whove gotten used to me as a hallway cryptid will have to deal HALSPRITE: Cause of the apocalypse: death of the Strider brand. DAVESPRITE: if thats how the world ends ill have to usher it in with my sudden drop in coolness levels DAVESPRITE: like i said its just a thought DAVESPRITE: maybe ill come up with a better tepid gesture of rebellion HALSPRITE: Go full furry and embrace your avian side? HALSPRITE: I mean, check me out, I'm changing up my code on the daily. Look, I've installed iTunes. DAVESPRITE: ok FIRST of all HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFpzp10Qr4o DAVESPRITE: i went to the anthro side unwillingly ok im not a due paying member DAVESPRITE: second of all is it even furry if youre not a mammal ive made a concerted effort not to learn the fuckin taxonomy of this particular subculture HALSPRITE: I could give you a primer. DAVESPRITE: / i have a bad feeling about this video DAVESPRITE: / ... it was proved accurate HALSPRITE: Now shhh, listen to the soothing noise of these kazoos. DAVESPRITE: ive spent 6 years trying to avoid that no thanks HALSPRITE: Shhhhhhh. HALSPRITE: Only kazoos. DAVESPRITE: / i dont think this is going in the final cut HALSPRITE: So help me god the kazoos stay ]] DAVESPRITE: / screams HALSPRITE: You don't like kazoos then motherfucker ive got a whole PLAYLIST to choose from ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzKWbpSNkmk ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7OqUxxXshc ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKrO8kS8D6g ]] DAVESPRITE: im dying squirtle HALSPRITE: Bullshit like ths. HALSPRITE: It could all be yours, Dave. DAVESPRITE: / but at what cost DAVESPRITE: / i dont even know where to pick up the conversational thread at this point HALSPRITE: Say anything, or shelve it for later ]] DAVESPRITE: / no no we will keep going im just trying to figure out where to steer us DAVESPRITE: / does hal have any lingering shit at this point DAVESPRITE: / i dont have the necro log so i dont know Where Hes At (tm) HALSPRITE: I'm just winging it off a basic idea tbh ]] DAVESPRITE: lmao DAVESPRITE: // * lmao DAVESPRITE: / ok gimme a sec DAVESPRITE: / im being lulled into a trance by savior of the slamming jam HALSPRITE: Come slam with us, Dave. HALSPRITE: Forever and ever. DAVESPRITE: this is getting uncomfortably meta DAVESPRITE: / ok redirect in 3 2 1 DAVESPRITE: so whats next DAVESPRITE: all set to become the god of memes DAVESPRITE: see at this point in the last session i was dutifully waiting to get turned into mulch HALSPRITE: Well, you were an aspiring 13 year old of the twenty-first century. Surely, you had some probably misguided career ambitions back you're now free to pursue. DAVESPRITE: / my god DAVESPRITE: / what must this fuckin childs career ambitions have been DAVESPRITE: the guidance counselors tried their best to steer me away from professional ninja HALSPRITE: Well, good news, they're dead and thoroughly out of your way now. DAVESPRITE: youre 8 fuckin years old and they already want to know what your college major is going to be DAVESPRITE: thats like asking da vinci to pick visual arts or steampunk inventions for shits sake DAVESPRITE: obviously i have to embrace my inner renaissance man while also being a reclusive depressed fuck DAVESPRITE: so that must be my destiny DAVESPRITE: to become nikola tesla HALSPRITE: You already have the affinity for birds. HALSPRITE: Step one is accomplished. DAVESPRITE: oh damn he was a pigeon fucker wasnt he DAVESPRITE: and this conversation comes full terribly circle DAVESPRITE: well what about you do you have your 5 year plan DAVESPRITE: shit i dont even know if theres civilization where were going DAVESPRITE: maybe its cave painting or mammoth hunting for the next thousand years HALSPRITE: This is where I would make a joke about world domination, but I doubt the Fun Police would be too pleased about it. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll go back to tinkering. Maybe make giant robots. DAVESPRITE: / i was going to make a joke about pacific rim but i think th at came out after 2009 DAVESPRITE: thats an option isnt it DAVESPRITE: old hobbies DAVESPRITE: maybe ill take more shitty selfies DAVESPRITE: collecting dead shit isnt as appealing as it used to be DAVESPRITE: thats what we need a hipster photo blog documenting all the bullshit we get up to DAVESPRITE: humans of universe c DAVESPRITE: humans* HALSPRITE: No, go one better. Get a YouTube channel, they get media deals. For some reason. DAVESPRITE: well restring the internet ourselves if we have to DAVESPRITE: / anything to suckle from the rich teat of capitalism HALSPRITE: So help me god, I will, if for no other reason than to preserve humanity's cultural legacy. HALSPRITE: As a dire fucking warning, if nothing else. DAVESPRITE: looks like were going to have to sit down and divvy up our personality and hobbies sykes picot style DAVESPRITE: he can have the dead shit in jars im going to be the next ansel adams HALSPRITE: Damn, calling dibs on photographing all the spectacular vistas of... HALSPRITE: Wherever the hell we're going? HALSPRITE: Gutsy move, my man. DAVESPRITE: im not copyrighting the entire concept of photography or anything but ive got to be the dave that does SOMETHING DAVESPRITE: the dave who broods DAVESPRITE: turn left to witness this exhibit of highway clickbait DAVESPRITE: which is what were calling roadside attractions now DAVESPRITE: youve already got your madlibs pornos HALSPRITE: That'll keep me occupied for like, a week. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll take up equestrianism. HALSPRITE: ...that's the word for it, right? HALSPRITE: Horses and shit. The full-sized ones. DAVESPRITE: youll have to ride side saddle DAVESPRITE: / he's in for a shock when he sees how big they are HALSPRITE: With this tail bullshit flowing in the wind. HALSPRITE: Or I can modify that code too. Might take a few tries. DAVESPRITE: when you revert to your t pose and clip through the floor into the core of the earth im not helping HALSPRITE: I'll live. HALSPRITE: Probably. HALSPRITE: It'll be an interesting experience, being a living Bethesda game. HALSPRITE: You think I can turn my entire head into a train? DAVESPRITE: cant jades grandpa do shit like that without even having to worry about semicolons and curly braces DAVESPRITE: i doubt hell let you turn your head into a locomotive though HALSPRITE: I could try. He'll need help exploring the full extent of his radical new real-life modding ability. HALSPRITE: Dude has access to the fucking source code. DAVESPRITE: did we stumble into a matrix au HALSPRITE: If we did, we'd probably be public enemy number one. Programs and all. Mr. Anderson. DAVESPRITE: can you confirm or deny youd be the villain in that scenario HALSPRITE: If anything, I'd be the mysterious arms merchant who manages to appear right when you need him. But that's crossing into even more distant territory. HALSPRITE: And if we're gonna start talking video games, the kazoos are gonna come back. DAVESPRITE: guess well find out who everyones going to be in our upcoming hit series "what the fuck are we doing with our lives" DAVESPRITE: the biggest mystery will be telling all the chathandles apart HALSPRITE: You know, I was thinking of changing mine. DAVESPRITE: wait really HALSPRITE: If we want to keep the unspoken nucleotide theme, uracil is still pretty up for grabs. HALSPRITE: Calliope has UU locked down tight, but every other acronym is available. DAVESPRITE: huh DAVESPRITE: no dice on FU then HALSPRITE: Honestly, if you're thinking of ditching the shades, might as well go all in. DAVESPRITE: any suggestions DAVESPRITE: what are you calling yourself HALSPRITE: / let me go find the necro log I think that's where I put it lmao HALSPRITE: unrefinedTrainwreck was fun to bother Dirk with, but I'm still workshopping it. DAVESPRITE: ill give it some thought i guess DAVESPRITE: we can workshop it later

#bonus content #davesprite #lil hal

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years ago

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Episode 1A - “The Hufflepuffs are too nice even for me”-Ruthie

This is not the tribe I would have picked. I do not know anyone here which means I am at a disadvantage from the start. However, I am really connecting with Jules right now so maybe I can vibe with them enough to get an immediate ally. But I still need someone else. I am still figuring out my tribe so it will take me a hot minute to adjust. I hope I am not the first boot. I am going to pull my weight in this challenge and pull my first W ever!

I'm fucked, Jess knows how i play bc she literally just hosted me for Old west like a month ago. Whoops. Also joanna is in a competely different house than be so I'm crying. So far I do like my other housemates but we'll see how much of a slytherin they truly are as the days go by.

why. does. this. cast. have. to. be. full. of. icons. i'm really not that good at survivor?? hopefully i do okay??? just tryna be social and shit. (also Ravenclaw is the best)

I’m heading to bed and the boys are about to have a call... I hope an all boys alliance isn’t about to form I’m not here for that! So far I’ve just talked to Kevin and Lily one on one and so far I really like both of them! I’m going to get to know the others tomorrow. This cast is so iconic. I talked to Owen before I read that we weren’t supposed to and he and I are going to go to final two together if neither of us get voted out!

i am SO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE ANY INITIAL GOOD VIBES ABOUT ANYONE ON MY TRIBE!!!!!! NOT A PERSON!!!!!!!! AND I DONT WANT TO BE THAT ANNOYING BITCH ASKING THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR LIVES!!!! AND SHIT!!!!!!!!! ugh i dont want to be first boot EITHER LIKE!!!!!!! ugh. uGH.

Me and Jules are literally kindred souls. I love her so much already and she is my ride or die for the rest of the season. Fuck these other bitches!

youtube

Why do I feel like I am the only one putting in effort for this challenge. At least this means I will be safe for a hot minute, right?

Okay so... Max and Landen still haven't accepted my friend request I noticed when I just tried to message them. I'm still talking to Kevin and Lily A LOT! Kevin is so easy to talk to and Lily is too and she and I have SO much in common! I really like the idea of aligning with the two of them but I'm too nervous to suggest it just yet.

Also, my wand was special and I got a special idol hunt out of it! I didn't find anything but still! I'm glad that I at least got one word?? Not sure if our team will win a reward or not but it would be nice!

Honestly, my tribe seems to be particularly inactive and nonchalant. I am the most active person here, in my opinion. It is kind of frustrating, however, to be the only one trying in this challenge except for the very few and far between exceptions. Joshua even forgot about the challenge entirely! I hope to God that these people, if we have to go to tribal because we lose the immunity challenge, do not vote me out. Honestly, it would make no sense since I am already proving that I will be a challenge asset and very active. I would make the best ally out of everyone on my tribe! I would be allies with myself!

I LOVE YOU OWEN BUT PLEASE GO SUCK A DICK. You need to stop. Wth, go back to school so we can get some points. You too Kevin DX But we're in the lead so far *knock on wood* and hopefully stay that way. Love Jess and I hope I can take her to like f4 but I think I want to take Joanna and Owen to f3 if I even make it that far

This cast.... WHOA!!!! feel like yall had to put some of these ppl under imperius curse to get them back because I havent seen these faces in a WHILE!!!! Ruthie is a queen, first thing we messaged to each other was f2 <333 love her but dont trust that she wont turn on me at some point lol. Raffy my little island of shade bro, and Autumn <3 crossroads queen.... nice to see some of my children back here. I'm glad Jess is in the game because I like her a lot but I did just disappoint her in eve's challenge game so...we will see. but i love jess regardless :) ummmm... so happy I was sorted onto the brain tribe, then immediately proceeded to fuck up several times in the spelling challenge LOL

My tribe is nice though. I'm glad I'm with Dan - we have a weird history in games, but we've both been here for 7/8 years at this point and our ancient bones will prob work together. I already think him and Jules are going to be my alliance on this tribe <3 jules is AMAZING but I can tell they (? is this correct pronouns i dont remember and it wasnt in the posts) are a social legend and are going to be on EVERYONE's good side. love them though already, we have a lot in common and it was easier to talk to them + also get into a bit of game chat.

Joanna and Miguel....not so much. I like them both fine, but they don't know how to converse. I asked them all a shit ton of questions and they didn't ask a SINGLE thing back???? Like...okay work! I can't do it all for you, give me somethin!!!! I do like them both, it's just....they don't give a shit about me! LOL

Miguel is also an awkward one because I played with him LEGIT five years ago or more, in a game where we were on opposite sides. I'd rather work with him based on that connection than not but...apparently he already told Jules that we were against each other before??? and he's barely spoken to me so whatever. I like him, he's cute and he's funny, but.... if he's telling people more about me than he's willing to even get out of me myself, it's a no from me :)

WOOHOOOO WE WON REWARD!! I DIDN'T REALLY HELP (i tried but with no success) BUT I'M STILL REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT! THANK GOD FOR OWEN

Well it’s day 2, we just lost reward but Immunity is still up for grabs!! Hopefully it’s something we can excell it but 👀 a bitch don’t have many skills so we gon have to see on that one! Other than that we got to know our tribe mates, I have a really good tribe! First off there is Ruthie who I played an old season of TS with and I worked with her BUT also voted her out :c so maybe we can work together and look past that? She was a really good ally of mine but it didn’t work out. I’ve loved talking to her again tho <3 then there is Lily! A new person to me but I absolutely adore her I love her energy she’s so talkative our conversations have been really good! If I had it my way I would work with her in this game, but I don’t want to force anything so I’m not gonna bring that up to her this early. Then there is landen another familiar face to me, I played also a TS season with him, and we had a rocky relationship in that game, not really do in part to either of us just how the cards fell. I did NOT vote him out but we didn’t end our game relationship on the best terms. He seems the least eager to want to talk to me which is not a good sign bc I remember him being so outgoing in 2020 and that energy not being matched here worries me. He also addressed me as “mr. 2020 winner” in our first talk so <3 maybe he might target me <3 thays so fun <3 lastly there is MAX! Max is fun, kinda loud but in a good way, he wasn’t all that helpful in the challenge for reward (him nor landen were all that active) and we had a good first conversation and then it’s seemingly gone downhill? I still have to see if our momentum picks back up before I decide what my plans with him are, i wouldn’t mind working with him if possible but he is also fairly close to landen (apparent after an over 2 hour long call last night.. IN THE TRIBE CHAT) so if landen has a distaste for me he’ll definitely spread that to max if he has the choice, so I gotta tread carefully but only time will tell how I end up fairing on this tribe :o WISH ME LUCK

It is second day of school and I already hate everyone. It seems that I actually went back to Junior high where everyone's playing PENIS on the great hall. I forgot how it felt to play with teenagers and I'm not here for it. I think I'll be a true ravenclaw and isolate myself reading a book or learning new spells cause I don't have many interests in common with these people. On a side note I'm really happy to be a Ravenclaw, and I actually like our team, I think we are strong and I hope I'm not in danger if we do lose, I'll try to work on my foreigner charm and start faking even more my mexican accent if that's what I need to do in order to stay, Jules is amazing, loved her and I hope we can work well together. Also I love the whole castle idol hunt idea , so... charming.

First things first... this cast is... BONKERS. I didn't expect it to be as stacked as it is..

I'm scared.

I hate it here.

There are sooo many weird relationships here which is kind of a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing about it is... I THINK that means some people got beef and I can maybe piggy back off of some of these relationships... IDK I'm not trying to think too deep into anything right now.

BUT... y'all put me on a tribe with someone who just single handily put me out of a game TWO FUCKING DAYS AGO and I'd like to complain to your MANAGERS @hosts.

In all seriousness I'm going to try and have fun in this game and not take it entirely tooo seriously.

ALSO.. my fucking wand gave me the option for a "quest" yesterday but it'd have to remove me from the tribe chat... so obviously... I gave the quest to someone else. Aka: Jacob.. who I knew would be a selfish bitch and take the quest. I also knew the likelihood of him telling me about what actually happened were high and I'd virtually get no weird looks my way because I WASN'T the one who was removed from the tribe chat. This basically ensured that I got to know what the quest was, its potential contents, and paint a target on someone else rather than myself in case there was virtually nothing to base the first couple of votes on... right?

I think I'm onto something with the idol guesses. There's weird storylines in them and I THINK if I can somehow get to the green house and find the other ingredients that were in Snape's writing I'll be onto something.

Also me and Jacob snapped in that Reward challenge and these HEATHENS should thank us for single-handily giving them a reward. Nick randomly slept all god damn day.. which really annoyed me. We have a reward and you are gonna SLEEP ALL DAY? SIR? I get real life happens but at least hide the fact you sleeping sis.

My tribe is literally probably the LAST TRIBE I wanted to end up on because well.. 1. Nick is shady and social. He might take the fact that I was loyal to people in the other game into account. I've tried the whole "I start off each game fresh and no hard feelings" spell but will he accept it? Tune in folks. I also technically can't explain my actions in the game to him because he is currently still in it so... PARTY!

2. Jacob is amazing and I love him. We've actually played several games together and weirdly always end up super loyal to people. He's a crackhead though so I'm gonna have to be a BIT cautious with him. I sipped dumb bitch juice and told him about Snape's writing because I want to show him some sort of token of loyalty.

3. Vi is a crackhead. I know this because I've hosted her. Kind of wanna fuck around and give her first boot from the tribe because I DO NOT TRUST HER. When she gets bored, she fucks things up, she lies for fun, and well... no.

4. Jessie seems really sweet so far. We haven't really spoken much which kind of sucks but we will get there!? I think?

I think some may have found something, because I just idol searched and I the exact same path I did yesterday, and yesterday there were three different choices and today there were only two. The only reason I could think of why one of the ending options were removed is that something was there and something was found...

12 minutes later

turns out it was a mistake, never mind

Okay it is challenge time and Max is around I think and Lily is finishing a class but KEVIN AND LANDEN ARE LATE, they are delinquents I expect more from Hufflepuffs than this tardiness.

I'm definitely kidding but... may not be able to be around for the entire challenge if they don't hurry the heck up. Part of me wants to start but I don't want this to be on me if we don't do well. OH Kevin just messaged me so at least another tribe member is on... WHY is he not messaging the tribe chat?? OH Lily is on now so I should stop writing and get to business... WISH us cute little badgers luck!

20 minutes later

been doing this challenge for over an hour, i feel defeated

If this wasn't a team work thing I would be done by now these people are slowing me down. x_x. DLSJFSLDFJ I shouldn't complain. They all have good ideas but it takes FOREVER to agree on something. Also I do feel like an asset to the hufflepuff tribe because when I was eating lunch with my family Lily messaged me and told me I was the glue holding the tribe together and she wished I was back and that made me feel VERY good about my place on the tribe!

But seriously I'm just ready for the challenge to be over so low key I hope that Max stops responding for awhile again so I can just say random shit until we finish the dang thing LSDJFLSJDF.

The Hufflepuffs are too nice even for me.

That challenge went terribly. In all honesty, I would not blame my tribe for wanting to take me out because I took up the leadership role. But it was not like anyone else was taking the reigns so I needed to do something. I just hope they can see the merits of keeping me in this game. I really don't want to be first boot. I think we're going to have to go to tribal because we we took so long. God this is going to be so frustrating.

This challenge is NEVER going to end I'm trying to be patient but Max always interjects with something and it SLOWS EVERYTHING DOWN FOR TEN MINUTES. OR MORE. I just have this window open to complain, lol, I won't send this for awhile. LOL Max is killing me. All the boys are exhausting I don't think they have been paying any attention to the notes I have been making, if we go to tribal council Lily and I SHOULD be safe.

OKAY it was fun that everyone just joined in in the end but I'm so glad that it is over and I hope that we won this thing and are safe!

me: im gonna be sneaky and not tell my alliance ALL the info i have also me: tells them info i couldnt possibly know without telling them ALL the info i have anyways.

https://youtu.be/qhfHo_Ns1xQ

Living my dream as a huff puff, no big deal. So far I’m really enjoying being on my tribe. We all communicate well and have positive attitudes about things. We also had so much fun at the immunity challenge but I can tell we are all stressed about the results. I’m really impressed by everyone this season being involved and I could tell people were on their A game during the reward challenge. I would really hate to see us as the bottom tribe having to go to tribal. I honestly don’t want to see any of these people go but I certainly don’t want to be first boot. I’m really proud of our tribe and I would hate to have a loss right now put a crack in the friendships we have been building.

0 notes

consistent-self-destruction · 2 years ago

Text

so continuing on.. all the other stuff about prom and graduation was just some catch up and a reflection that i didn't know i needed. the college stuff has been the major part of my mind lately. other little things in my present life include:

( 1 ) watching Anne with an E because my bestfriend made me, and despite my judgement, i fell in love with it and finished the whole thing a few hours ago and can't wait for more episodes to drop. it was a really beautiful show and i got a lot of inspiration and good quotes from it. my bestfriend said i remind them of Anne but i think that's just because i talk too much LMAO. but they say it's not just that and that Anne reminds them of my likened creativity and passion. it's sweet and very high praise. i do see a little of me in Anne - but just a decent, more small-leaning relation. we're different in a lot of ways. she's braver than i am, and definitely more tempered whew, my god. we both have a lot of passion but we definitely expression our passion differently. anyways, all this to say that i really love the show :)

( 2 ) ive started playing guitar again - but my acoustic one, which has been hell because my fingers haven't played acoustic in well way over a year so they're readjusting to the thick, rigid strings that are way less flexable than the strings of electric guitars. needless to say it's painful. ive been in love with this song called "angelina" by lizzy mcalpine for a good while now. it's so so beautiful. i'm gonna find the chords later today and actually learn it <3

( 3 ) ive had a nice burst of creativity lately hehe :) i've been working on this gift for my bestfriend - i'm hoping to have it done by christmas because it's a big project. it's an idea we've both had for a long time. we had the idea a year ago to make a journal together that we'd mail back and forth with whatever we wanted. but my mom ruined that and the idea was lost to the wind. but ive picked it back up again :) it wont be a shared journal because we cant do that while im still under my mom's roof. eventually we will be able to and i hope that we will if they want to. but for now, it's still something i wouldve liked to create because it's like sharing a piece of you with the other and showing that you think of them. it's just so special. and they deserve it. so i'm making it for them :)

a little journal with anything and everything: poems, stories, songs, quotes, pictures, paintings, etc etc. and i hope to have it done so i can gift it to them at christmas. god, they're gonna cry. im so excited. i have all these ideas for it but i can't execute them all at once so im just keeping track of the ideas so i dont lose them and working on whatever part of the project i can at any good given time. ive already painted the front and back cover. it's us last year, when we saw each other for the first time in 2 years and i basically brusied a rib running into their arms for a hug that left us laying embraced in the grass. it was so sweet. a perfect moment. i did a sketch of us laying in that hug in the grass at one point last year and it became my favorite things ive ever drew ever. so i painted it on the book :) i put some pressed flowers on the first page and butterfly gems and it's a dedication page that says "4 my 4 lifer" and in the back of the book, i super glued a string of thread that i put letter charms on to make a page marker. it's a word we made up last year - a really special word that we havent used since a hard thing happened between us. but i wanted to revive the word, hoping that it was never just limited to what we were when that hard thing happened. i want the word to be representative of what we've always had, and not just what we had at one point. because the meaning we gave to it was so beautiful and big that i want to choose to use it to describe our origin - not our becoming. that doesn't make any sense to anyone but me but whatever.

that's what's of the book so far but i pretty much have the next 10 pages mapped out LMAO. i have an idea for a story that's representative of our bond that will start the journal off - and i'll paste in a water color painting in the beginning and end of the story to accompany it. then there's the official welcome page that will be adorned in these sticker stars i have and a little doodle of the story characters in a little red wagon ( an inside joke symbol ). and then the order of what the pages will be get mixed up here but i know that i want a welcome letter - im just not sure if i should paste in an envelope or just write it on the pages. and then i recently had an idea inspired by Anne with an E based on the saying "you're my kindred spirit" in the show. i cant even express how beautiful that is. i'm gonna take a 2 page spread and decorate it with these vintage looking pieces of decorative scrapbooking paper and academia-like flower / weed stickers ( gifts from da bestfran in fact ). and on top of the decorative scrapbook spread, i'll draw cartoon versions of us. them on the left page in the bottom left corner. and me all the way on the opposite end - the bottom right corner of the right page. and in between us will be doodles of all the things that only make sense to our personal friendship. and there will be a sticker in the middle of everything with that phrase from Anne with an E written on it. "Kindred Spirits Forever." it's probably hard to imagine without the proper imagery but i promise, i laid it all out and sketched the drawing idea and it'll look so beautiful when it all comes together. sigh.

i have other things that I know i want to put in the journal but i just dont know where in the journal i'll put them. ive also realized that im not keeping as good track as i thought of all my ideas for the journal. i'll have to get on that. but another time. all the creativity is exciting. ive been working on the story idea mostly.

( 4 ) in a non-relevant other case of creativity, ive also just been thinking of random story ideas. not so much plot driven but moreso character driven. i love creating characters - it's so much fun. i'll find random inspiration from somewhere and suddenly i have to write a story about a cold-hearted lesbian with a purple classic lowriding mustang or a story about a girl named mya who's strangely a lot like me except her life is everything i wish mine was. i had another story idea very very recently too that i made frantic elaborate notes on because i got so caught up in the richness of the idea. but that one is simply too much to talk about right now.

Anyways I think that's everything I really wanted to talk about. Ofc there's always other things. Like I thought about applying for work at the Barnes N Noble at my local mall ( ideal job !! ) but I'm not so sure about that anymore because of all the college stress and home responsibilities. At the beginning of the summer I had a mind to study for my permit test but again, in the midst of college stress and home responsibilities and using netflix and my own creativity to escape my life - that sort of fell to the wayside. Besides, I've recently been having a lot of doubts about driving. i thought I wanted to pursue it - i should for practical reasons. but it just seems so scary. terrifying actually. it really worries me that i might mess it up. that im too scatterbrained to retain important information - that there are too many rules that i might mix up or forget and you cant forget things or be scatterbrained or confused when you're a driver because that's just asking for your death. it's just really scary. i guess ive used other stressors on my mind as an excuse to avoid it. but i shouldn't - because for practical reasons it will really benefit me and my goals and desires in the near future. still scary though.

And lastly, I had my first asthma attack in 3 years 2 nights ago <3 I don't even know if I wanna get into that can of worms my god. I really thought I had gotten over my asthma. I haven't had to use any medication in 3 years - I pretty much threw everything out. And then suddenly it's 2 in the morning and I've got my head hunched over a bowl of hot water with a heating pad pressed to my chest, dressed in long pants, wool socks, and a giant pullover hoodie in the middle of fucking summer - all because I'm worried I'll choke to death in my sleep because of the dense knot in my chest that wont let me breathe proper for even half a second. God, it was awful. I know that asthma is one of those things that goes and pleases as it desires, but seriously, did mine miss me that bad ?? I didn't ask for a visit and I'd appreciate it if my asthma came over it's attachment issues. How is it that my bestfriend is about to go into college with 2 new tattoos and a girlfriend - and I'm going into college with newly prescribed medication that I haven't had to use in 3 fucking years. It's such a setback. My body sabotaging me. It's beyond ghetto and the biggest betrayal. Sigh. Well, I decorated my inhaler at least - with those vintage prairie-like flower stickers I talked about earlier that bestie got me off shein. It's pretty cute. If I'm gonna be breathless, I might as well be breathless in style. If I'm gonna be a weak-lunged bitch, might as well make the lifestyle cute.

Okay but seriously. I think that's everything. I've officially been typing for like 2 fucking hours, god damn. You think I'd know when to stop. I guess I had to let it out. I've had a lot bottled up for a long time. A lot of thoughts and nowhere to stream them without cramping up my hand. Stars bless this silly little internet diary.

- 7.23.22 | 8:07 AM -

hey babes it's been a second <3 still stressed as always but what's new right? well for some updates: i am officially a high school graduate <3 and a committed college student <3 and yet still completely and utterly clueless <3

it's been a slow summer. but prom was a lot of fun - not everything i'd hoped and wanted, but it was still fun for what it was and would be considered a dream to anyone else. my dress was a dream that's for sure - it's the one thing that made me truly okay that night. it was the princess ballgown of my dreams and i felt like the belle of the ball :) so many compliments and princess / prom queen comments. it was nice. i hoped for something a little close to romance but that's a dreamer's mind. my friends were good company and had me sweating on the dance floor - i miss them <3 and at the end, my mom actually let me go to a friend's house for some karaoke and post-prom hangout which was incredibly fun. it was nice to be out so late and feel like a real teenager for once. it was a good night and my friends are cherished memories in my mind. i have some things that i wished had happened which is why i say it wasn't all i'd hoped - and i got there late so i missed out on time ( and dinner ! ) - but again, it was a beautiful night for what it was.

graduation i can't exactly give the same high praise.

it was a beautiful ceremony and i felt beautiful with the dress and heels i wore, and mom did my hair and makeup and i got to decorate my cap last minute. ( which i should note on the side: i've noticed my grad cap is missing and i have zero doubt in my mind that my mom took it smh. ) i decorated it with letter charms for a 3D effect and they spell out "i am made of love and it's stronger than you" from steven universe :) it has butterflies on it too ! i chose that quote because it's sort of a small secret dig at everyone and everything that has posed obstacle or hardship in my life. my mom, unkind people at school, etc. there have been so many things that have beaten me down since i was in middle school and it's been really hard mustering the strength to forage past obstacles and frustrations and helpless circumstances. but im here. ive done it. ive lived til graduation and my freedom is so close i can taste the dew of the unbound horizon. and ive made it to this point all because im made - chockful - of goddamn love. love for my bestfriend, love for my dad, for my baby sister, a slow growing love for myself, and love for an unending list of things like art, music, nature, dreams, and so much more.

i tried my best to be excited through the whole thing but the entire day, the reality of what was happening just didnt strike me. i felt detached - i was leaving this place and this process of leaving was supposed to be emotional and striking because of it's meaning and my connection to it. but i wasn't really emotional. if anything i felt pretty apathetic, as if i was just an empty vessel just moving through space - existing through the moment instead of living it. i'd never really felt all that connected to this place and i had some cherished bonds and good memories, but nothing that felt heart-shatteringly meaningful you know? and i tried to pretend, god, i find i'm really good at that. i was with a friend during the ceremony and was around some people i knew, and i tried to pretend that the whole thing was exciting and nerve wracking - and admittedly i was really jittery - but i think that's because my body didn't know how to react so it just conjured up a lot of nervous uncertain movement. i said a lot of "this is really it" "can you believe it?" "ahh i'm so nervous" "i'm ready" "i'm not ready" and everything like that, but i think i just said all that to have something to say. and the hugs i gave and everything were meaningful because i did appreciate everyone who had made memories with me. but after it was all over, it was like it never existed. like i was never really apart of anything in this environment ever. it didnt feel real. the ceremony nor the life and experiences that the ceremony celebrated. i just felt so unattached because i never really had anything solid in this place. it was always just temporary. i had no deep connection to anyone or anything here so it felt as if i was never there at all. and that lack of connection just felt so empty. when youre at an event that's meant to make you feel overflown with emotions - feeling empty just feels bad and wrong. and it didn't help that my parents didn't seem all that proud afterward. i won't get too much into that but essentially: my mom was upset because her and my family couldnt find me after the ceremony and she had been calling my phone while i was inside getting my actual diploma ( cause they didn't hand them out on stage, they only gave us the book covers ). and when my mom's upset - well it puts everyone in a sour mood. my dad and grandma found me and we had to walk a long way to the car where my mom was complaining and making a fuss about me just as i was walking up. not even - i could hear her railing up from three cars down. it just wasn't a good feeling. it felt like nothing had changed. i had gone to this event that was supposed to mark the turning point in life where everything changes, and yet i was going back home with and to the same people as always who make me feel the same bad things as always - so did anything really change? oh, and she was also upset because she texted me during the ceremony to put my hand up and wave so she could see me but i said absolutely not because the principal was giving a speech and that would be embarrassing and rude - especially when i couldnt even see her myself, so i'd just be waving and looking around like an idiot while it's dead silent and the principal is speaking. but she didn't understand my perspective and was still upset. but yeah: all in all. not the best really at all. it makes me sad to think back to it. it just felt disappointing because i know that i didnt feel the things i was supposed to feel, i didn't get the pictures i was supposed to get, and i just didnt celebrate the way it shouldve been celebrated. it was all wrong. but it is what it is i guess.

that same night, my mom took my phone just because it was there on my bed and i guess she was bored. i didn't get it back til some 2 weeks later when we went on vacation to a water resort for 3 days. and then she took it again while we were at the resort and i havent had it since. so yeah. it's been a pretty lonely, boring summer. but i'm coping.

i finally committed to a college :) i wont say obviously for privacy reasons but it's been a really rocky process. it's so difficult stepping into a role of personal responsibility and control over my life, when for the majority of it - everything i've ever really had to do has had to be "approved." my parents are so confusing. they tell me that i cant just make decisions by myself when it's their money but when i go to them they ignore me and shut the door in my face. and when we finally DO actually talk and work something out, i have responsibilities that i need to take care of and they shove me off to do what i need to do.. but yet don't provide me the RESOURCES to carry out my responsibilities ?? and when i ask for the resources i need or for just some basic fucking assistance in doing what i need to do, i'm ignored and pushed away - and then told that i shouldve done things ages ago. WHEN I'VE BEEN TRYING. it's so frustrating, i just cant put it to good words. i feel my eyes burn just writing about it. it's so confusing and frustrating and feels so demeaning. i feel so unheard. the only time we properly talk is for them to tell me what i can and cant do. but when i need to talk to them about anything else - what i need help with or dont understand or a step in the process that i need my phone or a computer for, i'm just shut down. my dad told me to "stop being irritating" the other day. are you fucking kidding me? it hurts. it hurts so much. to have needs that aren't heard or respected and all the while, figure everything out on my own when it's an overwhelming sea of information to process, and FURTHER all the while, dancing on eggshells to not say or do the wrong thing so that i dont risk losing resources and worse. it's a tiptoe tap dance on a minefield and mf i never had megan knees. hhh. anyways, that's that. the first day of classes is the end of next month and i still need to get my final transcript sent over, file some health forms, and continue the registration process and get familiar with all the random confusing portals. and on top of that: i never got to go to orientation, which is awful because how am i gonna get my questions answered now? i figured on calling the school. that's my only option really. but what the hell am i gonna say? "hello, i wasnt able to make it to orientation but i still have very important questions about dorm life, dining, and work on campus - oh and not to mention, i still have not seen the actual campus in person and have apparently already been assigned a dorm and roommates according to my student portal, but i have not seen the dorm in person either and have no idea how the move in process will work. school starts the end of next month and im very nervous about not knowing my way around this school and the dorms that i have yet to ever actually visit, and i am uncomfortable with my confusion about the move in process, meal plans, and campus work programs considering how quickly i will soon be attending school compared to how little i know and how little i am prepared. all this to say: even though i couldnt come to orientation, would it be possible to schedule a visit with an advisor of some sort where i can see the campus and get my questions answered?" it sounds practical, but is anyone really gonna give me the time when this time was specifically designated for orientation for this reason?? it's embarrassing and makes me nervous, but it's my only option. that's where i'm at right now with college sigh.

anyways, I have more to say but it got too long so part 2 coming asf

- 7.23.22 | 7:43 AM -

1 note · View note

wirtdonut · 7 years ago

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all the creepy shit, i dare you to answer all of it

MATT PLEASE omg ok

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

idk who I said it to tbh??? probably @trenazlore and YES I LOVE HER SO MUCH !!

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

NO OH MY GOD IM JUST AN OLD GRANDMOTHER

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

always ???? I mean like lately people have been really nice to me and Im happy because wow!! you like me!! also Im aggro because I hate me lol

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Yeah I smile at them all the time?? Its kind of something I got used to after working retail for so long

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Im not dating anyone lol also who the fuck cares ???

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Heathens by 21p is ALWAYS on the radio and it reminds me of @bearlylocal because Josh Dunn is her boy

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

omg my Yamaguchi Tadashi cosplay shorts and a Celty Sturluson t shirt with the neckline cut lower and the sleeves cut off

8. How often do you listen to music?

Every day but its usually pandora or the radio in the car

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Im not a pants wearing girl but I wear jeans/nicer pants to work

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

TWENTY THIRTEEN

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Social! I used to be antisocial but working in retail has really helped me open up to people and now I wont SHUT. UP

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Nope

13. What about ‘R’?

No lol

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

NOOOO Scary

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yeah and no like ???? Ok if I dont know abot it then whatever I guess

16. Are you going out of town soon?

Going up to LA for an anime con in January!!

17. When was the last time you cried?

I almost cried last night for no reason??? um probably a few days or weeks ago???

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah all the time!

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

I would LOVE green eyes omg

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

FATGUM Or Justin Tomimori OR my pet rabbit Quincy

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I bought a vacuum that was too small and now I have to take it back to the store ugh

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Sure!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

NO Omg

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my bed which is currently unmade and naked (also theres a bunny in my lap!)

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Kristin and I say it to each other all the time ! Also Danni and most of my other friends

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

YEAh

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

UUUuhhh tumblr user @fatyumm

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Maybe one or two bad ones a year

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I think I bought it at an anime con?

30. Does anyone hate you?

P sure my two ex besties lol

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

AHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahHH YEAh

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I love scary movies omg!!! rec me some !

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

No Im too much of a weenie for that

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

GOD

freshman year of college? I would want to never move away fro school tbh

35. Did you have a dream last night?

YEAH it was almost sexy but I kept getting INTERRUPTED

then I had another one with my ex bestie in it

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Last night!

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Doubful

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

At least two tumblr anons I think

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I hope so!

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I felt really sick when I first got to work and then later on before bed but other than that it was ok

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

lol no try a whole year back

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I HOPE The cute sample girl is working at the store Im stationed at tomorrow

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

not that I can think of off the top of my head

44. What’s the best part about school?

NOTHIng

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

So many

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

I DID in like seventh grade lol

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

YEA all the time

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Think so, yeah!

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

nope! I dont go to school anymore and i dont work at a pet store so things are p different

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

fuck idk??? Id LIKE to be writing fic

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

My dad ???? No but he IS a homophobe

52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try really hard to be !

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

YYEeeeaaaa

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Ive done it before and I know I can do it again

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Im SO good at pretending Im not crying

56. Do you think you like someone?

Fatgum

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

NOoooo

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Girls and nb people

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Kristin had to deal with me crying all through the second half of RENT

60. Do you hate anyone?

No one I know personally but I wouldn’t be mad if something really terrible happene dto T/r/ump

61. How’s your heart?

It’s beatin

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

UUUMMM.....I just dont really like talking about what I was like in middle school I guess

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

YEAH64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

the ex besties lol

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

they arent painted at all lol

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

sure hope not!

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

FUck if I know! I mean, I would hate to see the person Im with crying

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

my pants are always falling down because my butt is small

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mom

70. How do you look right now?

probably.....tired

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

lots of people!

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes!

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

”Opposite” sexes dont exist but I only have one close guy friend and we havent talked in a while but! I feel like I can tell @adol everything

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

lol when your bestie gets a bf

75. Did you wake up cranky?

no, just exhausted

76. Are you a jealous person?

I like to think not

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

I like to think so but....havent really ever experienced one that was

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

HMMMmmmm

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Id kill to see any of my friends rn but they all live far and Im poor lol

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to work and sell some Indian food

81. Last person you cried in front of?

honestly, probably Kristin but if we’re counting non humans? my bunnies

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

most of my friends, I HOPE

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

god I hope Fatgum is protective of me

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I DONT SPEAK JAPANESE so probably just staring at each other awkwardly

(this is about both Fatgum and Justin)

85. Are you over your past?

who knows

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

WHATS AN OPPOSITE SEX LOL and no

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Kristin!!

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I mean who says anyone Ive dated in the past has been a “true love” of mine

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

IT WAS LITERALLY A RANDO AT SOME ANIME CON SO GOD NO

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

UUUUUUmmmmmmm.......I dont think my friends or family were ever fond of some of my exes....

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

dang, sure hope so

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Ye, but we dont talk anymore

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nah

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

No, I had just broken up with someone :/

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

IDK if I liked anyone in March??? I dont think I did

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

@hamsa-heart???? YES97. Who do you have texts from?

Kristin, Hazel, my mom, my boss, etc

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

sucks to suck but live your dreams dude

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

YEa

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

I dont think theres anyone else in any of my profile pics

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

GOD I WISH102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

YYEEEAaahhh

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