For Mingyu girlies out there |19|STEM| introverted please
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Heyy! I love your tics! I was wondering could you write a breakup fic with mingyu? Maybe reader isnât sure ab the relationship and he begs her to stay? Itâs okay if you donât want to!



Never Again || Kim Mingyu || Angst
Word count:900+
Notes: god a lovely angst request hehe thank you for requesting anon!!
You enter the apartment, exhausted and emotionally drained from the day. You see Mingyu sitting on the couch, his expression a mix of worry and guilt. "Y/N," he says, standing up as soon as he sees you. "Can we talk?"
You sigh heavily, dropping your bag on the floor. "What's there to talk about, Mingyu? We've been fighting for days now." Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. "I know we have, but I don't want it to end like this. I don't want us to break up."
"Well, I don't know if we can fix this," you reply tiredly. "We keep having the same arguments over and over again. It's exhausting." Mingyu's face falls at your words, but he doesn't interrupt. He knows you need to vent.
"I just don't think we're on the same page anymore," you continue, tears starting to form in your eyes. "We used to be so happy, Mingyu. What happened to us?" Mingyu steps closer, his eyes pleading. "I don't know, Y/N. But I know I don't want to lose you. I love you too much." You shake your head, feeling conflicted. "I love you too, but love isn't enough sometimes. We need to communicate better, and we need to find a way to compromise."
Mingyu's eyes well up with tears as he kneels in front of you, taking your hands in his. "Please, Y/N, don't give up on us. I'll do anything to make this work. I'll change, I'll listen better, I'll..." He chokes on his words, tears streaming down his face. "I can't imagine my life without you. You're my everything."
His voice breaks as he continues to plead with you, his grip on your hands tightening. "Please, don't leave me. We can work this out, I promise." You kneel down in front of Mingyu, your own tears falling now. You look into his eyes, seeing the desperation and pain there.
"Mingyu, I don't want to leave you either," you say softly, cupping his face in your hands. "But I'm scared. I'm scared that we'll keep fighting and eventually drift apart." He leans into your touch, his shoulders shaking with sobs. "I'm scared too, Y/N. But I don't want to lose you over fear. We can get through this together."
"Okay," you whisper, wiping his tears away with your thumbs. "Okay, let's try. Let's try to communicate better and work on our issues. But I need you to promise me something." Mingyu nods, looking at you with hopeful eyes. "Anything, Y/N. I promise."
"Promise me that you'll be honest with me, no matter what," you say firmly. "No more hiding your feelings or brushing things off. We need to face our problems head-on." Mingyu nods again, his grip on your hands tightening. "I promise, Y/N. I'll be completely honest with you. I won't hold anything back anymore."
He pulls you into a tight embrace, burying his face in your neck. "Thank you for not giving up on us," he murmurs. "I don't know what I would do without you." You wrap your arms around him, feeling his body trembling against yours. You stroke his back soothingly, trying to calm him down.
"Shh, it's okay," you whisper, pressing a kiss to his hair. "We're going to be okay, Mingyu. We just need to take it one step at a time." He clings to you even tighter, his tears wetting your shoulder. "I'm so sorry for everything, Y/N. I'm sorry for being stubborn and for not communicating. I just... I love you so much." Mingyu pulls back slightly, his eyes red and puffy from crying. He looks at you with a mix of exhaustion and vulnerability.
"Can we go to bed now?" he asks softly. "I just want to hold you and forget about everything for a while." You nod, understanding his need for comfort. "Of course, let's go to bed."
You stand up, helping him to his feet, and lead him to the bedroom. Once there, you both change into your pajamas and slide under the covers. Mingyu wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. He buries his face in your hair, breathing in your scent.
"I missed this," he mumbles sleepily. "I missed holding you like this." You snuggle closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. "Me too," you admit quietly. "I missed feeling safe in your arms."
Mingyu tightens his hold on you, his voice firm. "Never again," he repeats. "I won't let us fight like this again. I won't let us come close to breaking up ever again." He lifts your chin gently, making you look at him. "I'm going to do better, Y/N. I promise you that."
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new study habits



featuring: Tutor!Mingyu x Horny, bimbo-ish!Reader
genre: smut, public exposure (sucking and fucking in the library), porn absolutely no plot.
note: HEAVILY inspired by this audio (augustinthewinter đđ). gyu is a nervous little nerd, you're horny and feral. would be a shame if something happened in this little corner of the library.
ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ
âSo, you need to ace two midterms to bring your grade to the goal we set at the beginning of the semester.â Mingyu tells you matter-of-factually, genuinely concerned that youâd forgotten your own goal. He continues speaking, telling you the outline of the unit youâll be studying while you nod along almost mindlessly. Well, totally mindlesslyâ but itâs not your fault!
You see, when one of your friends suggested you get a tutorâ to which you desperately agreedâ you didnât exactly expect the one youâd get.
Mingyu was all shy, kind smiles and polite, appropriate behavior when he first met youâ until now, actually. He still canât seem to sit so closely next to you without being nervous, nor accidentally touch you by grazing his hand against yours or his thick, meaty thigh against your own without his breath hitching and that adorable pink dusting his cheeks. He also seems to have trouble keeping his eyes off you, specifically how good your chest looks in those cute tops youâre always wearing, but heâs quick to avert his gaze and continue teaching you.
And now...Well now heâs just a blur of pink hearts in your eyes and his voice is just a nice soothing hum in the background while you admire him when you should really be listening to whatever heâs saying beside you.
It would be a bold-faced lie to say you didnât have an inkling of a crush on him. Yeah, sure, heâs a bit nerdy, losery, reallyâ but god, would you look at that face and those arms and that goddamn body? It doesnât help that he chose to wear a deliciously-fitting black polo shirt and some black jeans today, topped off by those delicate metal-framed glasses framing his beautiful face.
Who the hell could focus on studying with that?
You absolutely cannot, and Mingyu can easily tell. So, in a last ditch effort to maintain his composure (because god, you look so cute with that little smile on your face and your eyes all glazed over), Mingyu clears his throat and scoots closer to you, closer than heâs ever braved. He taps your shoulder twice to get your attention before sighing, âY/N, are you even listening to me?â
You nod, blinking innocently at him, âUh-huh, I have to... pass two midterms and all that.â
Mingyu clicks his tongue, bringing up a hand to run through his hair. The action makes you clench your thighs and lick your lips; Mingyu notices this but only shakes his head in frustration. His voice drops, deep and husky and making goosebumps on your skin rise in its wake. âAce. You have to ace these midterms if you want to even make a dent on your average.â
You remove your cheek from resting on your fist and use that same hand to pat his. You croon, voice sweet as you stroke that large, veiny hand of his, trying your best not to think about what he does and can do with it âI know, gyu, I know. Do you not have faith in me or something? Why are you so tense, baby?â
There he goes again, breath hitching at your touch and the pet name. Now itâs his turn lick his lips, eyeing your own before flitting up to your eyes. You were fucking batting your eyelashes at him and Mingyu felt like he was gonna combust.
âN-nothing, Iâd just really hate for all this studying to be for naught.â That makes you giggle. Mingyu isnât sure why but it does and suddenly his pants are tightening around him. He clears his throat again, fixing his unmoved glasses. He watches you with wide eyes as you lean forward, your low-cut top doing nothing to hide your cleavage, some lace peeking out.
âEyes up here, babyboy,â You lift his Chin up with a finger, smirking at his flustered state. Your other hand finds his thigh, the thick and firm muscle tensing underneath your touch. Batting your eyelashes at him, your smile turns sweeter. âDo you think I'm pretty, Gyugyu?â
Mingyu blinks up at you; he processes your words rather slowly. He opens his mouth to answer but youâre already pouting by then, puppy-eyes making his chest warm and his heart flutter. As if on instinct, Mingyuâs hand reaches out to get a hold on your waist; Your eyebrows raise at his sudden confidence. âYou are-! No, I mean I do! Wait-â
He cuts himself off with a gasp; in his ramble-y haze, he didnât notice your fingers unbuttoning his pants and unzipping it. His heart hammers against his chest as he watches you palm the growing bulge in his underwear, but a rustle from a few shelves over startles him.
âY/N, someone will see-!â you shush him with a kiss, and Mingyu has to bite back a moan when you slip your hand into his underwear, hand wrapping around his fully hard cock and using the precum leaking from his tip.
Itâs like heâs in a haze, all logic thrown out of the window. His hand travels from your waist to your thigh, sneaking past the hem of your skirt. He squeezes lightly; you respond with a kiss to his jaw, whispering lowly, âitâs okay, baby, Donât worry.â
You rest your head against his shoulder, muffling yourself against his shirt when he squeezes your thigh once again, firmer and closer to where you needed him most this time. Gyu presses the pads of his fingers against your clothed heat, gasping when wetness seeps through the cotton. âyouâre so wet,â he whispers, breath hot on your ear.
Smiling against his neck, you start to pump him faster, loosening your grip when you go up and tightening when you go down. His low whines are music to your ears, but you canât have him being noisy so you shift yourself and capture his lips with yours.
Mingyu moans into the kiss as you continue pumping him, now emboldened to push your panties to the side and push a finger into your tight heat. He feels your wetness gush out, the palm of his hand getting stickier and warmer. His thumb finds your clit and rubs it as he pumps you, adding a second finger when you start to rut against him. Gyu shifts in his seat; He brings his free hand into the mix, thumb leaving your clit before quickly replacing it with said free handâs fingers.
You jump at the contact, moaning against his lips when he quickens his pace. Heat pools in your abdomen, toes curling at the stimulation youâre receivingâ you know youâre not too far from your orgasm. So you stop, completely pulling away from Mingyu before standing up.
He watches in bewilderment as you swing one leg over his lap, effectively straddling him. His hands find your hips, stopping you from lining up his leaking cock from your entrance. Mingyu nervously looks around. âW-we might get caught, Y/N-â
You react quickly. A pout once again finds your glossy lips and your eyes widen innocently, eyebrows knitting together to top off the look. Your arms circle around his neck and you arch your back, pulling his face until itâs almost mushed against your tits. âJust trust me, Gyuyu. Please? I need you so bad, babyboy.â
Again, all logic is thrown out the window. Mingyu simply cannot deny you, not when you look so cute and your cuntâs literally dripping on his dickâ he can feel how wet and warm you are and itâs just fucking with his nerdy, pretty head. When is he ever gonna get laid like this again?
âDo you have a condom then? Iâm clean but-â he really wishes youâd stop interrupting him, but he doesnât complain.
âWe don't need one, Gyugyu,â you hum before pecking his lips. âI'm clean and on the pill... and I just really want you to fill me up with your cum already.â
With a nod, he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes you down onto him. Mingyu watches as you throw your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your head and your mouth opening as you take all of him. Looking down, he sees how your cunt stretches to accommodate all of him, your tightness hugging him so snugly that he wonders how youâre supposed to bounce on top of him.
His dark jeans turn even darker as itâs soaked up by your juices, but he canât even think of complaining. Not when youâre pulling him even closer, his face now buried into your cleavage. His glasses pressing against his face would usually be so uncomfortable if his dick wasnât getting sucked in so good by your walls. You start moving your hips, swiveling and stretching yourself even furtherâ Mingyu feels your chest vibrate with the noises youâre trying to hold in.
You finally start bouncing, and Mingyu understands why you basically trapped his face between your tits. Youâre fucking gripping him, soaking him, and just fucking him so good he can already feel his abs contracting as his orgasm builds up. If your tits werenât muffling him and reminding him to be quiet, heâd be babbling and whining so loudly youâd be caught in no time. Mingyu knows he wonât last long with how fucking good you feel around him.
You can feel him twitching inside you and tensing up underneath you. He has an iron grip on your hip; You Donât need him to tell you that heâs close. The mere thought of Gyu cumming inside you has you grinning, eyes rolling to the back of your head as the blunt head of his cock nudges at the spot that has your toes curling in bliss. In your haze, you pant out to him. âTouch me, Gyu. F-fuck, please.â
His fingers find your clit, rubbing the nub quickly. Mingyu stifles a groan when you clamp down around him. He barely processes as his orgasm washes over him, his cum filling you up with every spurt.
The feeling of his release inside you combined with his frantic rubbing on your clit triggers your own orgasm. Your body stills on top of him but your mind and your mouth, in your haze, ramble on lowly. âFuck, thatâs it, baby. Hah, thatâs it, cum inside me, Gyu. Fuck me so fucking full of your cum, oh god. So full, ngh, so fucking full...â
Gyu holds you against him as you calm down, slumping your body against his and your head resting on his shoulder, absentmindedly peppering his neck and cheek with kisses. âGyugyu...â you mumble, head filled with cotton and hearts swimming in your eyes as you look up at his side profile. âGyugyu, I think youâre pretty too.â
He rubs your back soothingly, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips and the red on his cheeks deepening. âThank you, Y/N.â he pulls away slightly to look at you, stricken by your afterglow beauty and the way youâre looking at him so fondly. âDâyou... Do you think youâd focus better if we studied in your place?â
ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ .⊠ââ
inbox is open <3
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CLARITY [K.MG]

Mingyu doesn't want to pay you any mind. To him, you're just another girl that'll get her heart broken by his dumb best friend.
Why would he care, right? He shouldn't care about the crying sounds he hears from his bedroom when his friend stands you up for the girl he's actually in love with. And he shouldn't be getting close to you. He shouldn't dread the day his friend decides to end things with you and bring someone else home. He shouldn't be wishing to have met you first.
pairing: mingyu x f!reader (with a side of bad bf!jungkook)
word count: 30,2k (lmaooo)
genre: bf's best friend mingyu, (awkward) acquaintances to lovers, the other side of the f2l trope, angst, smut, you could say there's a drizzle of fluff
content warnings: emotional cheating, tsundere mingyu at first, too much crying, self-manipulating, moral dilemmas, jealousy, possessiveness, alcohol consumption, denial (tons), one minor injury, mention of blood, a love triangle?, sexual tension, inappropriate things happen between mc and mingyu, petnames: babe, baby, princess (hers) | explicit smut, teasing, body worship, praise, marking, protected penetration, it's love making guys
đ§: mine â ive, breathing â nct dream, knew you â kailee morgue, begin again (taylor's version) â taylor swift, i wanna tell u â lexie liu
a big thank you to tiya @gyubakeries and ro @shinysobi for reading this over and telling me it doesn't suck ⥠and rae @nerdycheol for supporting my simp and pathetic men agenda âĄ
THIS FIC IS FOR +18 READERS ONLY! I can't control what people read, but I can control who interacts with my blog. MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WILL BE BLOCKED.
disclaimer: i didn't want to make any svt member the asshole so i made him jungkook, but i love jungkook he's literally my bias in bts and my forever ult so please just remember that this is a work of fiction and it doesn't represent how he is in real life nor how i view him (it pained me writing him this way you have no idea kdjfgnrjeskgf). i also didn't proofread the last two scenes iÂżm sawrry
last note: there are several pov switches throughout the whole fic, because it just went where it wanted, I had no control over it, it was the fic i swear.
check out my main masterlist ⥠dividers used: heartbeat, paper texture (banner)
i hope you enjoy! i'd love to read your thoughts :)
âAre you sure I wonât bother him?"Â
Youâve blocked Jungkookâs hand from opening the door to his shared apartment, forcing him to look at your pleading eyes.Â
âBabe, itâs not the first time youâve come to watch a movie, he doesnât mind, stop worrying.âÂ
âItâs just... he always locks himself up in his room when I come over. Maybe he doesnât want to get to know me.â You whisper, in fear the door doesnât muffle the sounds from outside and heâs standing just by the entrance.Â
The few times youâve crossed paths with your boyfriendâs roommate, he barely said hi before sprinting out of whatever room you were in. Sure, your relationship with Jungkook is fairly new, and you donât expect to become friendly with his circle of friends so quickly. But if his closest friend wonât pay you any mind then how are you supposed to get along?Â
âHe does that to give us privacy, I promise it has nothing to do with you.â Jungkook doesnât notice the coldness you're sure his friend exhibits towards you, as he has been that way every time he brought a new girl to their home. Jungkook attributes it to his friend simply giving him some space, to not make everything awkward by being the third wheel. âHe wanted to watch a movie, and he said it was cool when I told him you were coming over.âÂ
A deep breath leaves your lungs at his confirmation, even if itâs already the tenth time youâve asked the same question and got the same answer.
Inside the apartment, Mingyu sits manspreading on the couch, phone in his hand and headphones at the maximum not-deafening volume. Jungkookâs still in his fairytale phase, that time at the beginning of a relationship when he still tries to introduce his new partner to aspects of his life, in which Mingyu is included. Thatâs the only reason he accepted his friendâs insistent plea to hang out with you both tonight. And when a hand shakes his shoulder lightly, he knows itâs his Jungkook with his new catch of the semester.Â
You sit on the other end of the couch, as far as possible from Mingyuâs motionless body, still unsure on where you stand with him. Neither of you make the effort to talk to the other while Jungkook goes to his bedroom to change. You donât want to bother him and make him have a reason to dislike you, and Mingyu notices your nervousness, but prefers not to do anything about it.Â
Mingyu has learned to not try hard to get to know Jungkookâs fleeting girlfriends, because no matter how nice or how pretty you are, in a matter of weeks, he knows his friend will find something to complain about and eventually use as an excuse to break things off. Itâs a never-ending cycle, and he learned he canât do anything to stop it.Â
âWhat are we watching?âÂ
Jungkookâs loud voice breaks the ice beginning to build up in the living room, and quickly sits down between Mingyu and you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. He doesnât seem to notice the ignoring contest going on, chatting with Mingyu like the other man wasnât just dead silent.Â
After discovering youâve never seen Rocky, a few gasps from Jungkook and a lot of convincing later, the movie starts playing on the screen in front of you. You didnât actually care what they chose, just happy to spend some time with your boyfriend, even if youâre not alone.Â
Mingyu knows the movie from beginning to end and backwards, could even recite the dialogues if asked, not because he particularly likes it, but because Jungkook somehow always convinces the girls he brings to their home to endure it.Â
He used to argue with him about the reputation he built of being a heartbreaker, but Jungkook doesnât see it that way. To him, heâs just trying to find the one in an endless quest that never fulfills him the way he thinks a relationship should. But Mingyu knows Jungkook well, and the real reason why he canât last in a relationship for longer than a few months is clear as day, but Jungkookâs blind to it.Â
You pretend to focus on the storyline, Rockyâs growth journey that Jungkook was so excited about, while he comments on his favorite parts. Itâs not a movie youâd pick if you were alone or with your friends, too manly for your taste, and the romance aspect is too shallow, but Jungkookâs perspective and insightful comments are making you appreciate it more.Â
Tears begin forming on the corners of your eyes as the final fight progresses, your throat closing up in warning as the rounds pass and Rocky gets beaten up by his opponent. No matter the genre, movies always make you cry during the final act as the protagonist reaches the goal after struggling so much.
After the referee separates both opponents, tying at the 14th round, the public demands a rematch, but Rockyâs more preoccupied to look for the woman he loves. You try to sniffle quietly, no longer being able to put a stop to your weeping, and snuggle against Jungkookâs chest, just as his phone rings, receiving a call from Cathlyn.Â
From the corner of his eye, Mingyu notices the whole interaction, and he almost gets shocked by Jungkook blankly rejecting the call in an instant and putting his attention back on the screen. How didnât Jungkook notice youâve been loudly sobbing for the past fifteen minutes is beyond him. But the shock lasts less than two seconds, as Jungkook's phone rings again and he gets up from the couch, heading to the kitchen with his phone in his hand and his thumb already opening Cathlynâs text conversation.
You know Cathlyn has been your boyfriendâs best friend since high-school, and became inseparable since then. You even came to meet her a few times. Sheâs funny, nice and outgoing, effortlessly being the center of attention.
The living room gets cold again after Jungkook goes to the other room, and itâs too obvious that Mingyu just doesnât have any interest in engaging in small talk with you. Your last sniffles echo against the walls, and the sigh Mingyu lets out almost sounds louder in the sea of dense silence.Â
Another sniffle from you and a tired sigh from him, Mingyu gets up to go after his friend who doesnât seem to be coming back to the couch soon enough. He leaves a pack of tissues in front of you without sparing you a glance, and just walks past the couch.Â
"Dude, donât just leave me alone with her.â You donât mean to eavesdrop on their conversation. You really donât. But the sound carries. And it just proves that Mingyu clearly doesnât like you. âSheâs your date, not mine.âÂ
âSorry bro, Cathy was calling me nonstop. I thought something had happened.â Not necessarily true, as she called only once and Mingyu's aware of it. âShe wants to go out tonight, clear her head a bit.âÂ
âI donât care what Cathlyn wants. Your girlfriend was crying and you just left her there.â Itâs almost like he was defending you, but something in his tone suggests that it isnât about you specifically. You blow your nose one more time, and the sound echoes into the kitchen. âListen, sheâs still crying like a baby, go with her bro.âÂ
Last words you hear before heavy steps begin and get closer and closer to the living room couch until the man sits by your side.Â
âSorry babe, I know movies always get you emotional.â Jungkook apologizes sweetly, even if thereâs something else in his mind.Â
âItâs okay.â The sun setting behind the windows draws your attention away from your boyfriend. âI should get going. Itâs getting late and I promised my roommate weâd go out for dinner.âÂ
Lame excuse, but youâre aware youâre not wanted at the apartment anymore by half the people living under that roof, and it really is too late.Â
Jungkook nods, unbeknownst to the uncomfortable situation he's a part of, and grabs your coat as you get up from the couch. You turn back, smiling to Mingyu coming out of the kitchen as a form of goodbye, but he just nods and sits back down.Â
âWe're going out later, and Cathyâs paying, you wanna come? Itâs a bar close to here.â Jungkook naively asks as he walks you to the door. He might be genuine with his invitation, but youâre not sure.Â
âI told you I have an important meeting for the congress tomorrow morning, I can't go out."Â
Jungkook hasnât proven himself as someone with the best memory out there. Youâve had to remind him of important stuff a few times already. The key is to just take a deep breath and not let it stir up any anger within you, because thatâs just how he is.Â
âOh, I thought it was on Sunday.â Jungkook asks just as Mingyu walks past the end of the hallway into his bedroom and shuts the door.Â
Even he knows about your meeting, because you told Jungkook last time you were there, and even if he locks himself up in his room, the walls might as well be made of paper the way he can always hear your conversations.Â
âTomorrow is Sunday.â You note as you chuckle lightly.Â
âOh, shit. Then I guess Iâll see you when you're done.â He gives you a sweet kiss for the first time in the day, light and fleeting like a feather, and closes the door after you take a few steps towards the elevator.Â
Nayeon closes her macbook suddenly, done with all the work you have been doing since the early morning, ready to take a deserved break. âSo? How was the hot date last night?â She rests her chin on the palm of her hand, ready for whatever gossip youâre willing to share.
âIt wasn't hot.â Your eyes donât leave your notebook, in an intent to work on ideas to make the presentation more interesting.Â
âYouâre so secretive! Câmon, tell your best friends forever and ever what you did!â She insists, making you chuckle as you see your other friend mirroring her from the corner of your eye.
Your pen drops from your hand onto the table as you finally look at them. âIt was just a movie night with his asshole roommate.â
âThe hot one?â Jennie intercepts, now more interested than before.
âI don't know Jen, his only roommate.â You try to go back to your notes but your friendsâ unrelenting stares make it impossible to concentrate. âAnd how do you even know him? Iâd never seen him before meeting Jungkook.â
âItâs âcause youâre too cool for campus gossip,â Jennie takes the chance to poke fun at your lack of knowledge of basically anyone, âbut everyone knows Jungkook and Mingyu.â They both giggle at their mention.
âBe serious, we're not in high school.â You deadpan, but deep down you know nothing really changes from high-school to college. The drama remains the same, just with a few years added to the people involved. âThereâs no such thing as the popular guys.â
When you were younger, the different cliques that formed were crucial to what the experience was going to be for the years to come. And you used to live for the gossip. You always knew the latest fight or the newest couple before anyone else. It felt important at that time and it kept you entertained. But as you grew older, got into college and met new people, meaningless gossip lost its interest, your focus now on passing your classes, meeting new friends, and having the best contacts to move forward with your career.
Sure, you knew of a Jungkook, as your best friends are up to date with the gossip and like it or not, you end up hearing everything even if you donât know the people theyâre talking about. But before he approached you at a party, you had no real idea who he was. Itâs true that when you first saw your boyfriend at that party, he caught your attention immediately, and itâs undeniable that if you had seen him before, you wouldâve been caught in his spell like every other girl on campus.
âWhat I mean is that people take notice when two hot guys hang out everyday.â Nayeon points it out like itâs the most common thing in the world. And maybe it is. âTheyâre like candy to the eye, too sweet, unapproachable, but nice to see nevertheless.â
You donât forget to roll your eyes before replying. âMingyuâs still an asshole. He never talks to me! Iâm sure he curses at me in his head every time I show up at their apartment.â
âHe seems so serious all the time.â Nayeon adds, having your back. âHeâs probably a stem major or something like that.â
âHeâs always hunched over his computer, so he probably is.â You note, eyes returning to your notebook so you can keep working on the presentation and be done with the topic.
âI once tried talking to him at a party, but he just looked me dead in the eye and said he wasnât interested.â Jennieâs stare gets lost to the view out the window as she remembers. âI barely told him my name.â
Nayeon and you exchange looks before erupting into laughter.
âYou guys are so mean!â Jennie complains, but joins to laugh with you two.
âHey, at least he had the decency to tell you that and not lead you on.â Jennie shrugs, not really hurt as she has already forgotten that cursed interaction. âHe barely says hi to me before sprinting out of my sight.â
âHe doesnât really talk to many people except that group of friends they have. Itâs not personal, he's just a little anti-social.â Nayeon puts her two cents in. âJust let him be an asshole if he wants to be one!â
âI shouldnât let him occupy that much space in my mind.â You nod at them and they both nod back in agreement. âIâm dating his best friend, heâs going to have to accept it.â
Nayeon and Jennie exchange looks, raising their eyebrows at your words before going back to you.
You have a vague idea what they meant by that, but you still ask, incredulously. âWhat?â
âNothing!â They say in unison.
They tried several times to enlighten you about Jungkookâs âreputationâ, as they called it, but you prefer to get to know him on your own and not have your judgement clouded beforehand. Rumors are just that, rumors.
âLook,â with your hands slapped on the table, you order their attention, âI know you guys donât really like that Iâm dating him,â you observe, âbut I promise, Itâs fine! Heâs really nice and I think he really likes me.â
âItâs not that.â Jennie says at the same time as Nayeon exclaims, âIâm sure he does!â
âWe already told you, he usually dates for a few months before breaking up all of the sudden.â Jennie continues, paraphrasing every warning they already gave you. âWeâll have your back with whatever you want to do, just be careful.â
âI wonât let a tattooed man who I've only been dating for a couple of weeks break my heart.â At least you think you're stronger than that.
âAm I an asshole if I tell you to just not get your hopes up?â Nayeon asks, and if it was any other person, you'd get mad, but only because it's her and she just lacks tact sometimes, you let it slide.
âYes! You are!â You chuckle, knowing sheâs just looking out for you. âThank you guys for worrying about me. Now, I think we should shorten the introduction a little bit. Everyone there already knows who Durkheim is, we don't need to explain his whole biography.â
The notes you've been taking all day stare back at you, now more of a bunch of senseless scribbles than useful annotations.
âUgh! Back to work already?â Jennieâs body falls limp on her chair, not ready for more hours of brainstorming and not reaching any goals.
âThe professor wants to hear the whole thing tomorrow, we can't show up with anything less than a perfect speech.â You insist, opening Nayeon's macbook again against her will.
âDo you promise to tell us any good gossip about those friends of his, in aboutâŠâ she looks at her empty wrist, pretending there's a watch there, âtwo hours? We'll work diligently until then.â
A deep sigh leaves you with a barely there smile you try to hide. âFine. Two hours, and then we can take a real break.â
The waitress carries two pieces of cake and the biggest strawberry smoothie youâve ever seen in your life, heading to your table. The size of the cup brings out chuckles from both Jungkook and you, but as soon as it gets placed between you on the table, the two straws draw your attention, and Jungkook asks the waitress for another smaller chocolate smoothie.Â
âYou can have that all for yourself babe, I know how much you love strawberries.âÂ
You donât admit that you were excited for the corny romantic moment of sharing a smoothie with two straws, appreciating that he at least remembered your love for berries.Â
Jungkookâs phone keeps vibrating with notifications, which he reads but doesnât respond to, trying his best to focus on whatever youâre telling him. His mind is anywhere but the diner where you decided to have an afternoon snack, battling between answering Cathlynâs worrying texts and listening to the ideas you gave for the presentation youâre doing with your friends in front of various colleges soon.Â
In the middle of your story is when you realize Jungkook hasnât said a word, his eyes lost to the much more interesting brown swirls on the wooden table.Â
âIs everything okay?â Heâs been noticeably distracted lately, getting lost in thought more often, taking longer to reply to your texts. You attribute it to the time of the year, as heâs busier at work and with his studies, and so are you. But even if he says heâs fine, youâre beginning to worry.Â
âYeah babe, sorry, just a little tired.â His lips line up in a tight smile in an attempt to reassure you. âDo you mind hanging out at my apartment after weâre done eating?âÂ
Scraping your plans to catch an afternoon movie, you hum and nod before returning to eating your piece of cake, seemingly disguising your disappointment since he doesnât ask any more questions.Â
Jungkook leaves his plate exactly the way the server left it for him, the piece of chocolate cake with not even a particle less, his fork unused and clean on the side. He gulps down his new personal smoothie in a second, and as soon as the last piece of your cake is entering your mouth, heâs asking the waitress for the bill. He knows youâre still talking to him, he can see your lips moving, but your words enter one ear and leave through the other, having no meaning in his mind.Â
Jungkook pays without asking for your share, which you werenât even going to argue with him about. Youâre usually a heavy supporter of each person paying for what they ordered, but as the minutes pass by, itâs becoming harder and harder to not get mad at him, so youâre going to spend his money without feeling bad about it. You know you should ask him about it, but shouldnât he tell you if something was wrong? Especially after youâve already asked him? Between being a pushover and pretending nothingâs happening, you end up choosing to just spend the rest of the afternoon with him and hope heâll just tell you the truth.Â
The walk to his apartment is less than 10 minutes long, but every dreaded step drags heavily, making everything move slower, with the both of you in silence, and the incessant notifications blowing up his phone acting as a remainder of his true priority.Â
Jungkookâs trying to ignore the constant ping coming out of the pocket of his jeans, pretending he isnât dying to just answer who keeps trying to contact him.Â
And you have a vague idea of who it could possibly be.Â
The cold apartment doesnât feel welcoming as you enter through the door, lights off and deadly silent. Excusing yourself to the bathroom, you tiptoe around as if in fear. Your reflection in the mirror looks unmistakably disappointed and sad, and you wonder if Jungkook really didnât notice or just didnât care.Â
He can be charming and gentle when he wants to, always so polite and respectful, but the ability to be aware of your feelings may be something he could work on. Or at least understand that the things he does ultimately affect you too.Â
In the kitchen, heâs already forgotten his one rule for the date, and is carefully answering every message he got, the glasses of water he was filling for the both of you forgotten on the counter.Â
When he hears you come out to the living room, Jungkook rushes to sit with you, with a plan already in mind.Â
âBabe, will you get mad if I go for a bit?â His fingers trace lines on your forearm, and you begin to lean into him before your brain registers his words.Â
âWhat? Why?â You ask as your eyes search for any type of clue on his face.
âCathy called me,â he takes a second to think about the best words to use, âshe had a fight with her boyfriend, and I have to be there for her.âÂ
Jungkook never liked Cathlyn's boyfriends. Something about them always feels off about them, as if none of them are ever right for his best friend. In his eyes, he just wants the best for her, someone who'll really be able to care for Cathlyn in the way he thinks she deserves.Â
âOh, I hope sheâs okay.â Deep down, you wonder if it really is so serious that Jungkook feels obligated to stand you up. But itâs fair, she needs her best friend when sheâs having a bad time. The fact that her best friend is your boyfriend is a coincidence you canât be mad about.Â
âIâll be back before dinner and Iâll make it up to you, okay?â Heâs already standing up, his arms on both of your sides as he crouches to give you a quick peck goodbye.Â
The door closes shut before you can even utter a reply, and his steps echo on the hallway, getting further away every second, until youâre left in complete silence.Â
In the quietness of the apartment, you instantly feel out of place, unwelcomed by the inanimate objects surrounding you. Seconds turn into minutes, the ticking of the clock being the only sense of time you have left. You donât want to grab your phone, avoiding the inevitable feeling of disappointment thatâll take over you if there are no texts from Jungkook waiting in your notifications.
How stupid is what youâre doing? How desperate? Waiting for your boyfriend to come back from the home of the woman that seems to be his priority? You know you shouldnât be feeling this way, especially since he's already told you that sheâs just his best friend. But itâs still hard.Â
The back of your eyes burn as tears threaten to come out, blurring your vision just as you hear a key turn, heavy steps entering the home youâre not supposed to be in.Â
 â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Mingyu knew he'd find you at his apartment. Â
Jungkook texted him that he had an emergency and had to leave in a rush. And Mingyu knows what âemergencyâ really means in that context. It means Jungkook rushed over to Cathlyn's at the first sign that she was feeling off, and he wanted to hide it from him so he wouldnât have to hear the same reprimand again.Â
What Mingyu didnât expect was to find you on the verge of crying on his couch, scattering to find any form of tissue paper somewhere inside your bag.Â
You both freeze, looking at each other for about half a second before rushing to greet. You pretend you werenât crying, and he acts as if he didnât notice. Mingyu utters a quiet hello as you mumble some kind of apology for being there, and then he locks up in his bedroom as usual.Â
His friend put him in an awkward situation once again. Mingyu doesnât want to get to know you more than he already does. He knows you're on a different major and thatâs enough, because one day, in the near future, itâs going to be another girl walking through the door instead of you, and heâll never see you again.
He tried a few times to stay friendly, but no one really wants to stay in contact with someone so close to the man that broke their heart. And he gets it. That's why he stopped trying all together.Â
Mingyu would usually come home from work, put on his headphones, and spend a few hours on his computer until his stomach urges him to eat something. But for this particular afternoon heâs been put in, he skips the headphones in case you need something, or at least until Jungkook comes back, which he isnât even sure is going to happen.Â
A project for work distracts him for a good while, organizing different stats and numbers on the excel sheet his boss sent him earlier in the day. He almost forgets youâre on the other side of the wall. Almost.Â
If he loses his focus on his computer screen, he can hear when you move around on the couch. What can you possibly be doing? Is what he asks himself at any noise that reaches his ears, but thereâs never an answer. Until something alerts him that youâre not doing well. The same sniffle he heard days ago as you were watching a movie with Jungkook echoes against the walls of his bedroom.
Youâve been trying hard not to make any sounds that may disturb Mingyu, as you assumed he was busy by the way you could hear the non-stop clicking of his keyboard from where you were sitting. But your mind seemed to have other plans, so much so that you lost control of the cascade of tears brimming from your eyes.Â
In between everything, you miss the sound of a door opening and steps getting closer to you. Mingyu comes into view as youâre wiping away tears with the back of your hand, and you canât pretend he didnât see you this time.Â
He sits by your side in silence, mainly because he doesnât know what to say, but also because he canât just leave you alone in this state. He feels responsible in a way.
âIs he withâŠâ Are the first words that come out of his mouth after seconds of dead silence.Â
âHe didnât tell you?â You look up at him to find him staring into the wall. He shakes his head, glancing at your slightly blotchy face before looking down.Â
âHe just told me you'd be here, but I figured.â Your body relaxes the tiniest bit. Good, at least youâre not an unannounced guest.Â
âShe had a fight with her boyfriend.â You explain, more frustrated than understanding.Â
âRight.â He simply replies.Â
Both of you sit there, fixed on your spots, too aware of the other. Mingyu realizes youâve stopped crying, maybe because you donât want to cry in front of him, but at least your breaths became less deep than before.Â
A growl from your stomach reverberates through the room, and you flush in embarrassment.Â
âYou canââ he coughs before continuing, âyouâre here often, you can help yourself if youâre hungry, itâs no big deal.âÂ
âOh, thank you,â you chuckle, trying to conceal the humiliation, âbut he said he didnât have anything. Thatâs why we went out. And I canât really cook, so.âÂ
Never in the past weeks would you have thought youâd be sharing embarrassing details about you with your boyfriendâs cold roommate, but life has a funny way of turning things around.Â
âIâm sure thatâs not true. Thereâs no way you canât do the basics.â His body turns, now facing you as he takes an interest in your not so fun fact.Â
âIâm not lying! I canât even make scrambled eggs.â You hide your face behind your hands, and you immediately hear Mingyu laughing as the dent beside you on the couch disappears.Â
âCâmon, Iâll teach you. I happen to be a great cook.â Your stomach growls again, and Mingyu looks back at you as he walks towards his kitchen, leaving you no choice but to follow him.Â
Mingyuâs not thinking about this exchange with you too much.
Yes, heâs doing exactly what he promised himself he wouldnât, as this will inevitably make you both closer and he will not be able to turn back to his cold self again. But he couldnât just go on with his day knowing you were having a bad one, and even worse, knowing you were crying because of his friend.
He had to do something, and if that something is becoming your friend for the afternoon, then so be it.
âGrab the egg carton with his name on it.â You chuckle as you follow his instructions, âand his milk too, why not.â If he left you stranded, the least you can do to get back at him is use his stuff and not Mingyuâs.Â
Between laughs and Mingyu indicating instructions like he was teaching a 5-year-old to cook, time passes, you forget why you were at the apartment in the first place, and you end up with a fine plate of scrambled eggs that doesn't taste bad at all.Â
âI told you it wasnât that hard.â Mingyu sits in front of you on the rounded table as you share the food.Â
âWell, Iâll let you know if your teaching lasts until I have to cook alone.â You chuckle and avoid his stare, realizing your words sounded much friendlier than you intended.Â
Back in the living room, Mingyuâs ringtone disrupts your conversation, and his sigh alerts you that he might already know whoâs calling. He gets up with another sigh, throwing you a knowing look before going to answer Jungkookâs call.Â
You appreciate his effort to make you feel better, and when he doesnât ask Jungkook any questions over the phone, only replying with yeahs and okays to whatever heâs telling him, you understand that Jungkookâs not coming back, and whatever heâs telling Mingyu will just make you feel worse.Â
Before Mingyu comes back, you do the dishes that you used and get your stuff together. The decision to leave has already been made.Â
âLeaving already?â He appears at the entrance to the kitchen, leaning on the edge of the door like a statue.Â
âI know heâs not coming back. Iâm sorry, I shouldâve left earlier, I didnât mean to be a bother.â Itâs the first time youâve addressed that feeling you have that you constantly bother him, and itâs kind of freeing.Â
âYouâre not a bother.â A man of few words, Mingyu feels like he meant a lot more with that simple statement than just dismissing your apology.Â
His blank reply doesnât feel forced, not like he only said what you wanted to hear. No. He said it automatically, not thinking much about it, and it took a heavy load off your shoulders.Â
âStill, I shouldââ Youâre now standing right in front of him, looking up at his face as he doesnât realize heâs in your way.Â
âRight, sorry.â Mingyu rushes to get out of your way, stumbling against his own feet as he walks backwards to go get his keys. âDo you need a ride? I couldââÂ
âOh, thank you, but itâs okay. Iâm meeting a friend at a restaurant close by.â A warmness spreads on your cheeks at his offer. âDo you happen to know which way to go? Itâs supposed to be a few blocks from here.âÂ
To redirect his attention away from you, you show him the address of the restaurant on your phone screen. You frequent the neighborhood on a weekly basis, but the blocks tend to mix up, as the buildings look too similar to each other. Mingyu scratches the back of his neck, trying to remember the names of the streets around his place.Â
âI think itâs three blocks to the right, and then two to the left.â He doesnât sound very convinced, but you trust youâd be able to tell if heâs sending you the wrong way, so you take his word.Â
Even after denying him, Mingyu still accompanies you downstairs, and you politely say goodbye to each other at the entrance before separating.Â
The sun sets on the horizon, the golden hue painting the streets beautifully as you walk. âThird block to the right, then turn left,â you mentally repeat, trying to concentrate on the directions as well as you try to find a street sign that'll tell you if youâre going the right way.Â
As you reach the second block to the left, where Mingyu implied the restaurant should be at, your phone vibrates inside your purse. The unknown caller doesnât give up while you contemplate whether to pick up or let it go to voice-mail, but something in the back of your mind urges you to answer. So you do.Â
âWho is this?â In case that another telemarketer got a hold of your phone number, you try to sound annoyed.Â
âItâs Mingyu, sorry,â his deep voice sounds the tiniest bit robotic due to the poor service, âI realized I sent you the wrong way. You have to turn right instead of left.âÂ
âOh,â you chuckle as your eyes read the street number youâre at, âthank you.â You donât tell him you couldâve figured it out on your own, a tiny smile appearing on your face at his gesture.Â
âI shouldâve warned you that Iâm terrible with directions.â His breathy chuckle reaches your ear at the same time as a metal ruffling sound. Was he heading out to find you in case you didnât pick up?Â
âNo worries.â Your mind is blank, as the two things youâre most awkward at doing are getting combined in one: phone calls and talking to Mingyu. âHow did you get my number?âÂ
âI asked Jungkook for it just now.â That feels weird for some reason, but you toss that feeling away, trying not to overthink about it. âYou okay?âÂ
âYep! Heading that way now! Thank you! Bye.â You abruptly hang up on him, the only way you thought to end the awkward conversation.Â
Your heart rate escalates, pumping hard like itâs about to beat out of your chest as you go the correct way now. Whatever you do, your mind still manages to replay what just happened over and over again, until youâre standing in front of the restaurant hostess.
Walking towards the table you see Nayeon sitting at, the idea of Mingyu having your number saved makes the back of your neck tingle with nervousness, and you can't shake the feeling even as you greet your friend and she starts telling you about her day.
Maybe youâre giving it way too much thought. Itâs just the excitement of finally feeling like youâre growing closer to your boyfriendâs friends. Nothing more.
There's been a noticeable shift in the awkwardness of your âfriendship" with Mingyu. You didnât become best friends overnight, but at least he stopped fleeting away from you anytime you'd be over at their apartment, and wouldnât deliberately choose the spot furthest from you at any group gathering.Â
As you and Jungkook step out of his car and walk over to the front door for the costume party a classmate of his was throwing, you can only take a deep breath and hope your extroverted self appears after a few drinks, and that Mingyu doesnât decide he hates you again, because heâll be the only other person you know at the party.Â
Not much of a partier yourself, youâre just trying, for him. Trying to join your boyfriend in what he likes, especially after he showed interest in you being there with him by inviting you.Â
The loud music can be heard even with the door closed, and Jungkook texts his friend to come pick them up, because ringing the bell clearly wonât do anything.Â
âHi man! Sorry for making you both wait.â A tall blonde man who youâre sure is named Jackson welcomes you in, giving Jungkook a man hug before looking you up and down and asking. âWhat did you guys come as?âÂ
âIâm a firefighter dude! And sheâs...â Jungkook looks at you waiting for your answer, not even trying to remember the name of the character youâre dressed up as.
âMavis, from Hotel Transylvania!â You smile as Jackson finally lets you in, and you can see in his expression that he has no idea who youâre talking about when you walk past him.Â
As soon as you cross the door, it is a relief to find Jungkookâs whole friend group there, sitting occupying the entire couch for themselves, only one big body missing from the ensemble.Â
Jungkook only takes his hand off you to greet his friends one by one, and makes them promise to save you seats while you go to the kitchen to find something to drink.
It hasnât been long since the party started, but the crowded house is already filled with that dense air mixed with the smell of sweat, and the sticky bodies make it harder for you two to advance into the kitchen.
Part of you is relieved that Mingyuâs nowhere to be seen, if heâs even at the party. Sure, youâre getting along now, but being around him is still stiff and awkward. Maybe you can use this opportunity to try and get close to Jungkookâs other friends.Â
Sitting between him and other two strangers that squeezed themselves on the far end of the couch, that plan is quickly scrapped. Itâs possible Jungkook doesnât realize youâre too far away to be included in any conversation, he wouldnât do it on purpose, but you have no will to tell him. Not when his body is fully turned away from you as he talks to Cathlyn and the guy she's dating, Yugyeom.
The music's too loud for their voices to travel backwards and let you hear, but judging by Jungkookâs menacing body next to yours, he doesn't seem to be liking the conversation. He didn't talk much about Yugyeom, that name being new to you as Jungkookâs hadn't even mentioned him before. And from what you know, he and Cathlyn have been having some problems for the past few weeks, so it's normal for her best friend to dislike him.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Mingyu thinks of himself as somewhat of a good friend. Sure, he may have some faults and he fucks up every now and then, as everyone does, but whenever his friends need him, heâs there. He covers for Jungkook at school, listens to his girl problems as any friend would do, hates whoever he hates, and heâd never break that friendship over any random girl. That said, heâs still a man, and he has eyes.Â
When he comes back from the patio after catching up with some old friends he bumped into, he first lays eyes on the striking yellow costume Jungkookâs wearing. But as he follows the bright color, he sees you sitting by his friend's side, his arm wrapped around you but giving you no attention as you drink from an almost empty cup.Â
It's no surprise to him that Jungkook's too enthusiastically talking with Cathlyn instead of any other friend, or instead of dancing and enjoying the party. What shocks Mingyu is how blatantly heâs ignoring you, sitting so pretty by his side.Â
Yeah, Mingyu can admit he finds you pretty. He might be a good friend, but heâs not blind, and denying it would just make him stupid. Any guy with a brain should be lining up for a chance to talk to you, getting lucky to be the ones you spare a glance to. Instead, youâre sitting with an arm around you and being ignored by its owner. It could be that heâs gulping down his fourth drink already, but he might even go as far as saying youâre his type. But thatâs about as far as it could possibly go. Youâre pretty, nice, and in love with his best friend. Well, maybe not in love yet, but you like him enough to put up with his shit. And Mingyuâs not interested. He canât be.
A smile forces itself on your face as your eyes catch his across the room. The most polite way to acknowledge his presence without trying to interact with him further.
Mingyu nods your way and drives his eyes elsewhere. Itâs not like he wanted you to do anything else, and even if he wanted to go up and chat with you, he couldnât have fit in between you and the people on your other side crushing your free arm.Â
So, he stays there, standing against a wall on the only free hallway âin which there arenât any people because Jackson threatened anyone who dared to step within a two feet radius of his bedroom, watching the scene progress before his eyes.
Where his friend has a reputation of being a heartthrob, a player, or a heartbreaker, Mingyuâs always thought of as Jungkookâs serious and mean friend. A bad school reputation is the least of his priorities, and he doesnât care to change how people he doesnât care about think of him. Itâs not like heâs not enjoying the party, he just prefers to stand alone and drink. If that paints him as a boring guy, so be it. He tries scanning the room to find a friend to catch up with, but it's pointless, only the bright yellow costume makes itself visible.Â
It's mostly a blur of bodies messily dancing to 2000âs pop songs inside that room, but Mingyu could recognize his best friend's silhouette if he was miles away and 90% blind. Your costume contrasts with Jungkook's in a way that even drunk Mingyu realizes itâs you who's being dragged onto the âdancefloor".Â
He sees you get loose as his friend's hands wrap around your waist and move your bodies in sync. It seems that every single light in the house is on despite it being a party, and youâre in the center of his line of sight, constantly and too easily catching his attention.Â
What he doesnât see, however, are your constant complaints about dancing, appearing as flirty whispers to anyone who wasn't listening. And after he takes his eyes off of you two to find a glass of cold water, youâre back again to your original place on the couch, this time with much more space around you.Â
âNot much of a dancer?â His feet directed Mingyu to where you sat almost instinctively. Thereâs finally room to sit down so heâs going to take the opportunity before somebody else does.Â
âOnly when Iâm in the mood.â Your stareâs lost somewhere in the room, paying attention to your drunk boyfriend dancing with his best friend.Â
âI see.â You both sit awkwardly, body facing front and eyes focused on the same view.Â
âCool costume, by the way. I love Hotel Transylvania.â Mingyu manages to fill in the gaps of the heavy silence.Â
âThank you! Youâre the only one that recognized me.â A small smile appears despite your bad mood.Â
âPeople here lack basic culture.â A simple joke followed by awkward laughs from the both of you, the atmosphere doesnât help to ease the tension of your interaction.Â
âI wanted Jungkook to dress up as Johnny.â You have to stretch your neck to Mingyuâs side so he can hear you above the loud music.Â
âThat wouldâve been cute.â Mingyu doesnât know what else to say. Itâs been a common occurrence for him to go blank when talking to you.Â
âI guess heâs not a fan of matching costumes.â You try your best to continue the conversation, not really caring whether heâs interested or not. The little alcohol in your system wonât let you fall on an awkward silence again.Â
âHe probably got tired of them after so many years.âÂ
You freeze.Â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
Mingyu realizes he just fucked up. All those drinks he had before you came, and that one after, finally brought him to the stage where his mouth gets loose and he starts blurring out things he shouldnât.Â
âUhâ, I mean, Cathlyn used to force him to do it for halloween.â Force.Â
For the record, Mingyu's not a liar. He might be loyal to his friend, not wanting to put him in bad situations, but heâs not going to go above and beyond to protect an already weak relationship. So, he picks a word thatâs going to save Jungkookâs ass, but still saying part of the truth.Â
âRight.â If you caught on to his deliberate choice of words, you donât show it to him.Â
 â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Itâs pointless to get mad at your boyfriend for such a meaningless piece of information. Every relationship is different, and you shouldnât be comparing yours to a much older one. Their bondâs just different! It doesnât have anything to do with you if Jungkook didnât want to do stupid matching costumes.Â
Still, youâre glad Mingyu slipped and gave away the truth, and you appreciate his effort to make it sound less bad.Â
Jungkook gives you no time to ponder on what to do though, as he stumbles his way back to you, so drunk he canât regulate his strength and falls hard on the couch.Â
âMy heead hit the back of the c-couch with my head.â Jungkook pouts and slurs his words.Â
âOw, baby, youâre really drunk.â Mingyuâs eyes pierce through your back, and a wave of self-consciousness takes over you. âShould we go home?âÂ
Jungkookâs cheeks feel warm in your hands as you try to get him to look at you, but his drunk mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time, and for the time being, his eyes are focused on Yugyeomâs hands groping Cathlyn's ass shamelessly as they dance.Â
âI donât feel so good.â He only says, his drunk stare having a hard time straying away from that scene as he gets up and stumbles his way out the house.
Mingyu runs after Jungkook just behind you, and manages to catch him before he faceplants on the damp grass outside.Â
âWhere did we leave my car?â Jungkook asks no one in particular, disoriented from his almost-fall. âWait, youâre not my girlfriend!â His eyes go wide as he realizes who was helping him and tries to escape.Â
âIâm here, babe.â Before he manages to, you wrap your arm around his other shoulder, leaving him no choice but to be embraced by yours and Mingyuâs hold so he doesnât hurt himself again.Â
Now that youâre outside, with no music blasting at full volume, no people around pushing you constantly, and breathing fresh air, youâre too aware of your surroundings. Or more specifically, how Mingyuâs arm and yours touch behind Jungkookâs back.Â
It's a weird way to break the ice of skin to skin contact in a friendship, but maybe itâs what you need to end the lingering awkwardness that surrounds your interactions once and for all.Â
âI saw you drinking.â You scold Mingyu after you two lay Jungkook down on the back seat and he turns to find his way back to his car.Â
âIâm not drunk anymore.â He mutters just before he trips with his own foot. âOkay. Iâll crash on the back seat for a while and then Iâll go home.âÂ
âIâll drive you.â Mingyu's silence as he thinks of a polite way to turn your offer down only eggs you further. âIâm going there anyways.âÂ
âI-I wouldnât want to take advantage.â He fiddles with his keys, avoiding your eyes.Â
âOf what? Me? His car?â Mingyu hesitates, the gears in his brain visibly turning.
âI donât know.â Itâs quiet, his response, and no matter how cute and defenseless he looks when heâs drunk, you donât really have time to wait.Â
âIâm offering.â You deadpan, but try to flash a small smile so his drunk brain doesnât understand your hurriedness as anger. âYouâre clearly still drunk, câmon, donât make me have to drag you.â
Realizing thereâs no way out of this other than listening to you, Mingyu caves in and gets on the passenger seat of Jungkookâs car. âYou wouldnât be able to drag me anyways.âÂ
Of course, you can't push an over six-foot-tall gym bro even if you use all possible bodily strength you have. "Hell yeah I can!â Your teasing stare meets his, and you know he got what he wanted by pushing your buttons.Â
"Iâd love to see you try.âÂ
An indescribable feeling completely shuts down the workings of every organ inside you. It could be what he said, but itâs just a common phrase to tease a friend. It could be his eyes that refuse to leave yours. Or it could be the silver of a smirk that appears as you hold your breath. Whatever it is, you push it down, hide it on the very back of your mind and put up ten walls to disguise as a simple and normal response to teasing.
âWe should-âÂ
âI donât like him.â The drunken backseat passenger you had forgotten about interrupts you.Â
âWho?â The distraction allows you to break eye contact with Mingyu. A believable excuse to put a stop to whatever was happening.
âThat guy she was with.â Jungkook looks like heâs talking to himself, his eyes closed as if he wanted to fall asleep and unaware of who he's actually talking to.Â
âCathlyn? Her boyfriend?â Mingyu intercepts so you wouldnât have to ask the awkward questions, already knowing where this conversationâs going. âYugyeom?â
âUgh, don't say his name.â Mingyuâs instinct tells him to see your reaction, to check if you realize what Jungkook means by all of this, and especially if it hurts you. âHe has a douchebag face.â
You chuckle at his pouty statement, but deep down his words pierce a surface cut on your denying heart. Itâs gone as fast as it came, but it was there, and your hands automatically started the car, urging you to start driving like nothing happened.
Ever since the evening started, Mingyu knew Jungkook wasn't going to have a good time. Not since opening the door to the bar that revealed Yugyeom there with Cathlyn.
âWhy is he here?â Jungkook muttered under his breath, annoyed, on the verge of being angry.
âShe's allowed to invite her boyfriend. Just like you invited your girlfriend.â Is all Mingyu replied.
Jungkook has been in his life ever since he can remember. When their first tooth fell out, when they schemed behind their parents to figure out if Santa was real, when he got his first bicycle and Jungkook laughed in his face when he fell and scraped his knee, when they met Cathlyn in high school and Jungkookâs eyes shined brighter than ever, when they went to prom and lost their virginities on the same night, and when they got accepted to the same college and joined the same classes. Every memory Mingyu has, itâs always Jungkook by his side. He can't mess with that peace, no matter how violently he wants to tell his friend to stop playing with girlsâ hearts and realize heâll be much happier if he owned up to his true feelings.
So, he resorts to trying to make Jungkook connect the dots himself by telling him harsh enough truths. Itâs a work in progress.
In the few hours youâve all been at the barâs pool table, Mingyu hasnât said a word. He's been sitting alone at one table on the side, seeing his friends sucking at playing and actually having fun.
With the excuse of being tired and simply enjoying watching each round, he took the opportunity to be temporarily invisible. With all of them busy, he can look at you all he wants, smile to himself when you miss your shot, and pretend to be drinking from his half empty glass.
Thereâs not much more he can do. Whatever he thinks he feels, whatever he thinks of you, itâs wrong. Thatâs why, at that moment, he prefers the loneliness of his table. The crude reality punishing him in real time is enough.
Doesnât matter if youâre on the same team as Jungkook or not, your attention is always focused on him. You search for his touch, his eyes, crave his attention on you. But the more drunk his friend gets, the more competitive he gets, and the little patience he had with your lack of pool skills is quickly dissipating.
Another round finishes, with the both of you losing to Cathlyn and Yugyeom again, and itâs more than obvious that Jungkookâs annoyed. When your opponents excuse themselves to the bar to get more drinks, you try playing on your own and see an opportunity to try and get Jungkook in a good mood again.
âI swear I know where to hit it! My arms just wonât cooperate.â A chuckle escapes during your lighthearted shout.
Jungkook sighs at your missed shot, your pout having no effect as heâs trying to conceal his annoyance. âWhich one are you thinking?â He only asks.
âThe red one, close to the middle?â You point to it, waiting for any reaction, but he just waits for you to continue. âIf I hit it a little to the right, I think it can go inside the left corner hole.â Bodily coordination may not be your strong suit, but youâve played enough online pool that your brainâs trained to draw the imaginary angles.
The main idea was telling Jungkook your theory, him realizing you actually have an idea of how to play the game, and finally teaching you how to get a hold of the cue stick correctly.
âYou have to do it like this.â Jungkook takes the cue from your hands and takes your place, ushering you to the side to watch as he takes the shot. âYour index and middle fingers serve to place the tip of the stick where you want it.â
âBut I-â You were right, and the ball enters exactly where you said it would, but you canât chant victory. Not when his attention shifts to a heated argument just meters away from you.
In the second it takes you to focus on whatâs happening, your eyes land on Yugyeom stomping out of the bar, a crying Cathlyn left behind. You donât even have to check if Jungkookâs still by your side, as he soon enough appears with an arm around her shoulders in an intent to console her.
When he starts getting the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and heads to walk out the door, you realize the comforting session wonât be quick. But why would it be? His best friend just had a screaming fight with her boyfriend in public. It makes total sense that heâd want to take her out to have some fresh air and a little more privacy than inside the full bar.
âIf I knew the night would be like this, I wouldâve stayed home resting for next week.â Your body falls on the chair next to where Mingyuâs been sitting in silence. His flat expression rapidly makes you uncomfortable, like you just crossed a line. âShit, theyâre your friends, Iâm sorry, I shouldnât havââ
âNo, youâre right.â He interrupts you, with a tone that implies you must've taken the words right out of him. âI get having troubles, God knows I've seen them go through stuff, but we're allowed to be tired of it.â
Between his cold exterior and sometimes unfriendly choice of words, Mingyu's surprisingly capable of understanding other people's feelings.
âHas this been happening a lot recently?â You don't care to sound like a gossip. âHer fighting with her boyfriend, I mean.â
Mingyu sighs, eyes wandering to the door through which both of his friends just stepped out of. âLetâs just say, itâs been a regular occurrence.â
âWell, letâs not let other peopleâs problems ruin the fun.â You decide out loud. Youâve been having fun since you got here, regardless of your boyfriendâs bad mood, and youâre not going to let anything ruin your last night out before the busy week you have ahead. âDo you want another drink?â You down the last sip of what Jungkook was drinking.
âOh, actually, Iâm saving to pay for gas for the trip we have next week. I promised to drive, so.â Mingyu explains, too apologetic for simply refusing a drink. âYouâre coming right? Itâs a congress that our collegeâs doing.â
âOf course Iâm coming,â maybe you should be offended that he doesnât know, but itâs not his fault, âIâm the one giving the presentation.â
âWait, seriously?â Mingyuâs eyes go wide, in slight shock as well as in embarrassment. âI knew you had a big thing coming up, but I didnât think it was that! How did I not know?â
âMaybe Jungkook forgot to tell you. You know how he isâŠâ Mingyu nods at your statement, but the answer brewing in his mind gets cut short by the glass door opening once again.
As if he was summoned, Jungkook re enters the bar alone, quickly lets you know he'll wait outside for Cathlyn's uber with her, and leaves again without sparing you another glance.
Silence fills the void between Mingyu and you, only murmurs from the people around the bar manage to make it not unbearable. Awkward again, you never seem to have a normal conversation with Mingyu without feeling some type of way. Jungkook interrupting seemingly added a layer of tension very hard to dissipate.
âIâm gonna⊠practice playing.â You arenât the best at handling awkward silences, so you stand up with that excuse. âIâm so bad at it! I think the stick does the opposite of what I want on purpose.â
Mingyu chuckles behind you, following you to the pool table to watch up close. âYouâre not that bad.â You look at him dead in the eyes, head tilting to the side with scepticism. âIâve been watching you play! You just need to learn how to get into position correctly.â
Your arms cross in front of your chest, deciding if what Mingyuâs saying is in any way true, or if heâs just trying to make you feel better. He takes the cue laying on the table, accidentally knocking a few balls away from their places in the process.
âShow me how youâd do it.â As he hands the pool stick to you, warm smile and standing tall facing you, you feel secure he wonât tease you if youâre awful.
âOkay, but donât you dare mock me.â The lighthearted threat makes him chuckle again, and your fingers tremble grabbing the stick from his hand. âThis is my usual.â
You mentally cringe at yourself, but you push through it and lean your chest forward, hovering over the table, setting the tip of the stick between your fingers and analyzing which ball to hit.
âI see where things might go wrong.â His voice sounds closer with each word, but it's not enough to prepare you to feel his chest against your back, his arms embracing you to guide your hand where he wants to. âYour handâs too close to the end of the stick. Youâre not in full control of it.â
When he places his hand over yours, helping you slide it up the cue, youâre sure your whole bodyâs covered in goosebumps. Your heart accelerates to unimaginable speeds, about to jump out of your chest as Mingyuâs breath fans on the back of your neck.
âI think we can get the blue striped one,â your mouth blurts out faster than your brain can think, âIf I manage to hit the white a little to the left, I can go right and push it into the middle hole.â You try to play off the unprecedented effects Mingyu has over you, forcing yourself to get your mind back in game mode.
He doesnât let go of his hold on your hand, his arm grazing yours even more closely. âAre you sure? That one seems like a long shot.â You can hear his smirk through his teasing words.
âJust help me hit it there.â Your head turns just barely to the side, finding his face much closer than you imagined, and your eyes roll before going back to the table, trying to mask the blush you feel creeping on your cheeks. âI know Iâm right.â
âRelax a bit. Itâs close to the hole, so you don't need to hit it too hard.â Mingyu extends his other arm over the table, helping you position the tip to hit exactly where you told him to. You don't dare move, his cheek brushing against your temple freezing you in place momentarily.
When you feel his hands tighten over yours, taking control of the stick with your fingers tangling with his, your arms fall limp, letting him shoot the shot. With the tiniest push, the barest tense of his muscles all around you, both your arms move the cue forward and hit the white ball.
The both of you smile as the striped ball falls in the hole you said it would, relaxing against one another before realizing just how close you really are.
âI told you, I was right.â You chuckle away from him, using cue in your hands as a barrier.
âIâm sorry I ever doubted your skills.â Maybe itâs the drink he was stalling to finish until you approached him, but Mingyuâs more relaxed with you tonight, a little more prone to smiling than usual.
âBabe?â But Jungkookâs voice quickly wipes it off his face. âLetâs get going, wait for me outside.â
âWait!â You get off Jungkookâs hold, almost offended that he thinks he can drag you away at his will. âI was finally getting a hang of it. Mingyuâs a better teacher than you, you know.â You try to joke to ease the suddenly tense atmosphere, but it doesnât work.
âIâm really tired, babe. And I promised Iâd take you home, so, please?â Jungkook retorts, face turned your way, but his eyes are on his roommate.
The staring contest between the two men doesnât stop, an indecipherable friction you donât really want to find out the meaning behind.
âOâŠkay,â there isnât really an out where the three of you will be happy, so you just accept Jungkookâs petition to leave, âbye Mingyu.â
You walk away, your hand in the air wishing for Jungkook to take it and come after you.
Mingyu begins to grab his stuff, assuming the both of you will be quickly out the door by the time heâs done paying his tab, but it seems the night is not over for him yet.
Jungkook grabs him by the arm and turns him around so theyâre face to face. âWhat do you think youâre doing?â
âWhat the hell man?â Mingyu shoves the otherâs hand away, a hunch telling him his friendâs anger has something to do with you.
âI leave for a minute and youâre all flirty with my girl.â Jungkookâs always been a jealous man, but Mingyu canât help but sigh at the accusation.
Still, Mingyu canât lie and say he wasnât flirting. He canât say he didnât love the way you were blushing and squirming under him. And he canât say that it wasnât what he was looking for.
âI was entertaining her because you left.â He retaliates with a part of the truth. âItâs getting old man, you canât just leave her to go after Cathlyn all the time.â
âYouâre back with that again.â Jungkook throws his arms in the air, easily irritated by the topic. âYou know what? Iâm tired of this.â As the confrontation he was looking for didnât turn out the way he wanted to, Jungkook begins walking away, âIâm leaving, weâre leaving.â
âYou never want to talk about it, but you know itâs wrong.â Mingyu adds, a little louder this time. âYou gotta stop.â
âWhy are you so worried?â Getting more frustrated by the second, Jungkook barely turns, not fully facing Mingyu. âYou never cared about it before.â
âCâmon man, Iâve always noticed.â How awful of a person he is. Accomplice to his best friend breaking girl after girlâs hearts, itâs true that he never cared this strongly about Jungkookâs extracurricular activities. Even though he always tried to make Jungkook realize the truth by himself, for his own good, Mingyu can admit, to himself at least, that now he has an added, selfish reason to want his friendâs behavior to come to an end.
âItâs my life. When I need an opinion, Iâll ask for it.â With that, Jungkook finally leaves, getting out the door to where youâre waiting in the cold.
Mingyu wasnât done with the conversation. There was so much more he wanted to say. He wanted to say that itâs your life too. Jungkook's messed up feelings were affecting the people around him too, especially every girl he dates to forget. Especially you. But he just couldnât keep pushing it, not without the truth coming to the light.
Mingyuâs reputation of being too serious, or even heartless sometimes, wasn't born out of nothing. He's aware of his resting bitch face, of the way he bolts in and out of class and the way he's never the first choice for group projects in the classes none of his friends attend. If he cared what other people thought of him, maybe it'd hurt. But he has enough friends, friends who like him the way he is, and doesn't go to college to expand his contact list.
Going to university, to him, was exclusively a way for him to learn more about his likes and interests. He goes to his classes and focuses maybe a little too much, but itâs how he lives his days, how the hours pass until he has to go to work. That is, until you came into his life unprovoked, and disorganized his sharp and efficient lifestyle.
He never crossed paths with you on campus before, and if he were to run into you after the first time he met you, he would've probably ignored you and scurried to his building like a flash. But today, he unconsciously looked around, hoping to catch even a glimpse of your figure coming out of your majorâs building. He hoped youâd see him and smile at him as you walked his way to make useless small talk. But you didnât, of course you didn't, and as soon as he sat down on his usual seat in his favorite class, he realized. Heâs fucked.
For the first time in his life, the numbers on the chalkboard didn't make any sense, the words coming out of his favorite professor's mouth sounded like a mumble of pure nonsense. His mind couldn't focus, diving into the memory of your sweet smile next to his ear. Or the shivers your body graced him with as his hands purposely covered yours on the cue stick. His hand would grab his pen to try and write a single sentence, and the feeling of your fingers barely interlaced with his would overwhelm him.
Whatâs worse than pining after your best friendâs girl? As of the moment, Mingyu has no answer. Thereâs nothing he can really do either, besides accept youâre in a sort of happy relationship. He canât take you aside and say âhey, you know your boyfriend? My friend? Yeah, so I have a theory that he might be in love with his girl best friend, sorry!â Even thinking of doing so puts a bad taste in his mouth.
He's aware that, currently, he's at least top5 worst friends in the world. And he's not looking to end your relationship and get bumped up to the top1. It's decided. He'll just ignore whatever feelings are bubbling on the pit of his stomach until they disappear!
Easier said than done, because nothing he does seems to get you out of his mind. And the vivid reminder that heâs nothing more than someone you have to get along with is screaming at him everywhere around his home.
The four walls of his bedroom imprison him, suffocate him with the thought of you. He is a bad friend. He does want you. He does resent Jungkook for keeping you his. But if he broke up with you, would Mingyu ever see you again? Would he ever get the chance to see the heat visibly rushing to your cheeks as he walked closer to you?
Mingyu hates himself. He hates himself for getting turned on at the memory of your body heat against him, shivering at his closeness but not pulling away, letting him wrap himself around you, even if the both of you knew he shouldn't. He needs to drive his mind elsewhere.
Locking in to work in front of his computer, trying to scare away the sturdiness building up in his jeans, it might become the first time he wishes it was his day to go to the office. The front door of the apartment opens, rushed steps and messy, wet, breaths echoing against every thin wall that surrounds him. The reminder that what he deeply wants, it's not, and should never be his.
Working from home has never been so much of a curse.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Jungkook grips at your sides, his body flushing against you and pressing you further into the couch. The near desperate way his lips roam over yours has you gasping for air, but he doesnât relent, hands making a mess of your hair as he hopes you give him the satisfaction he craves for.
He grinds his hips against yours with determination, and you press against him trying to give him what heâs hopelessly looking for. But no matter what you do, he goes in for more, your bodies getting more and more out of sync.
You try to give him what he wants, emitting sounds of a satisfaction you're nowhere near feeling. His mouth moves to the side of your neck, leaving marks you're not sure you want.
The white door, now in your line of sight, calls for your attention. You shouldnât be thinking about other people while you have a man in between your legs doing everything to feel any type of pleasure. But if the yellow light sneaking below the closed door alerts you of something, is that the person at the back of your mind is probably right there, behind the dangerously thin cardboard the architects of the building call a wall.
âIsn't Mingyu gonna hear?â The choked up question comes out in a whisper, in fear, in panic. And the mention of his name speeds up your heart rate far more than your current activity.
Jungkook barely cares about your worry. âHe's gaming.â
You know gaming implies wearing noise canceling headphones and tuning out of the real world. But is he really?Â
âI don't know, babe, shouldn't we check?â It sounds stupid to even ask. Check? Knock on his door to very politely ask him if he can hear you having sex?
âHe's not gonna hear,â Jungkook sighs, finally looking you in the eyes to answer, âand I wouldn't care if he did. He has to know you're mine.â
There's a speck of disdain behind his words, behind the weirdly possessive statement he just made. It leaves you more breathless than ever.
âWhat are you talking about?â You don't know what kind of egotistical manly fight they have going on, men friendships are not exactly your expertise, but it can't be about something you're aware of.
âDon't tell me you don't see it.â Jungkook hasn't gotten up from on top of you, but his hands on the sides of your waist tighten a bit more after your question.
âI don't know what you mean.â You chuckle in an intent to ease up the newly tense atmosphere. You didnât mean to make it about him. âHe's your friend, you shouldn't be jealous.â
âAnd you shouldnât be talking about another man while you're under me.â Jungkook retorts, half angry, half still turned on. It's a weird mix. One that doesn't let you reply to correct yourself.
Jungkook lowers down to your mouth once again, kissing you fervently to make you forget about anyone else. And you decide to let go. Heâs here, your bodies tangled together and your loose clothing crumbled up your torsos to feel each otherâs skins. You shouldnât doubt that, in that moment, he wants you.
You drift away into the feeling of his lips against yours, both hands cupping his jaw to relax the hurried pace heâs setting. His hands under your t-shirt feel good, like he knows what heâs doing, like he knows how women like to be touched, and it helps. It helps free your mind of everything else.
Still, youâre careful of the sounds that leave your lips. You let Jungkookâs tongue slip inside and dance with yours, muffling any soft moans you donât get to restrain. He searches for something, his hips angling with yours to feel some kind of friction. If he keeps moving like that, youâll be in the mood in no time.
A ringtone coming from the back pocket of Jungkookâs jeans disrupts the quiet setting. You stiffen under him, but he doesn't let his mood come down. You're grateful when he grabs his phone to decline the call and puts it on the end table in a rush, finding your body with his hands once again.
It's like, for the first time, he's prioritizing the time he planned to spend with you. He searches for your touch like nothing happened and you're the only thing he's thinking about.
âJust let it go to voice-mail.â Your hoarse voice surprises you, echoing over a new call. Jungkook doesnât respond, not stopping the trail of kisses up your neck until your lips are against each other again.
But a call comes in again, and he groans against your mouth, trying to ignore it, letting the default ringtone soundtrack your activities until it stops on its own. Itâs awkward, but he doesnât stop kissing you and wraps your legs around him, trying to make you forget.
By the fourth call, you're both annoyed, and Jungkook reluctantly gets up from on top of you to check who's bothering him so much. The caller gives up just when he gets the phone in his hand, but from the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of him opening his texts. You donât mean to spy on him, not wanting to be a controlling girlfriend that needs to know everything her boyfriend's doing, but itâd be nice to simply⊠get told.
The clicking sounds of his fingers typing on the small screen of his phone are about to send you straight to a mental hospital. Why's he typing so fast? So insistent? Is he mad? He's not telling you anything, as if he forgot he was just kissing you out of breath.
âDid something happen?â You dare ask, even if deep down, you know the answer is clear as day. You know whoâs the only one capable of making him drop everything in a heartbeat. âIs Cathlyn okay?â
âShe needs me.â Is all he replies. Cold. Decided.
âWhat do you mean?â The question manages to mask the anger brewing inside you. For now. But you need an explanation. How many times can you put up with the same situation until you blow up? He canât expect you to be all right with being stood up constantly.
âYugyeom broke up with her.â He explains without looking at you, like thatâs enough of an excuse.
âShe always needs you when youâre with me.â Bitterness bleeds through your mumble. It doesnât feel good. You should understand that best friends need each other. But why are you never on the receiving end of his undivided attention?
âYou canât expect me not to care when sheâs going through something. Sheâs my best friend. She goes first. Always.â
His words are like a bucket of ice water in the middle of winter. The explicit revelation that his priorities are carved on stone. There's silence as he realizes what he said, and neither of you dare speak up.
Your lungs expand but no air gets inside, and your throat threatens to close as your body prepares to start shedding tears. âWhy make plans with me if you're just gonna sprint her way at any sign of trouble?â You canât stop them. âYouâre supposed to be with me.â
Tears cascade down your face, quiet sobs getting in the way of your pathetic pleads. Covering your face from the outside world, you shrink in place, giving in to the crying as Jungkook kneels in front of you.
âBaby, I'm sorry.â His now soft voice barely reaches you over your sobs. âI know I haven't been very present.â
âNo, you haven't.â His hands carefully withdraw yours from your probably blotched face.
âI promise you,â Jungkook makes the effort to look you in the eyes, âafter this, Iâll be better. I'll make it up to you.â
He tries. But you, convinced or not of his willingness to fulfill the promise, don't want him to leave. It's not about the fight, or the sex, or even him. If he leaves, it cements you as the second option. If it was about winners or losers, you'd lose.
âStay.â It comes out so quiet you're afraid he didn't hear you.
But he did.
âI can't.â
Silence again. Deafening silence as you look at each other with different thoughts racing through your brains. He decided. There's nothing to be done.
Jungkook takes your hand in his and squeezes it tight in an attempt to bring you comfort. He thinks he's doing the right thing. He thinks he'll be able to nurse his best friend's heart and then come running back to you after.
At your silence, he stands up, reaching for his coat hanging on the hallway before sparing you one last look and heading out.
The soft click of the door closing behind him breaks you a little more inside. The couch, no longer warm with the weight of two bodies, feels empty, too big for you to fill.
Bare, exposed, you let yourself be vulnerable only for him to cut you off and leave you there, with your feelings blurting out of you in the form of tears and sobs. The undecorated walls judge you as you cry your eyes out. Is there something you can do thatâll make him like you more? You already try so hard, youâre just not⊠her.
When the white door opens to reveal the other man of the house, you're not surprised. Of course he was there, and of course he heard everything. Your luck wouldn't let you escape this situation without throwing a more embarrassing one at your hands.
It took Mingyu all of two seconds to realize what was happening. His headphones in the grip of his hand are proof that he did not want to hear what you two were doing, he just didnât get to put them on. He may be a bad friend, but he's not one to invade someone's privacy.
That's why it took him a bit more time to decide to step out of his room. Would you let him be there for you? Would you be too embarrassed? You shouldnât be, he thinks. Itâs not your fault.
At one point, he got used to Jungkook abandoning his fleeting girlfriends at the first notification from his best friend that popped up. Mingyu never did anything for the girls, and they usually left after a few minutes. Maybe that's why most of them didn't like him. He didn't care, and they always cut ties with everything Jungkook related after the break up, so why would he?
He shouldn't be doing anything. Caring that you're crying alone in the middle of his living room goes against every rule he imposed onto himself. He should be cleansing his mind of you, stepping away from the weird not-friendship you two developed and going back to focusing on the things that matter. He shouldnât let you climb up that list.
But as soon as he heard his roommate standing up and leaving, the itch at the back of his brain started screaming at him to do something. How can he step back and do nothing? He canât be indifferent this time. Unfortunately, he does care. Unfortunately, every sob and quiet sniffle tugs at his heart and urges him to be there for you, to come out and try to be there for you as best he can.
The sight of you, even if it's not something he hadn't seen before, breaks him. Making yourself as little as possible, with your clothes wrinkled and your hair a mess, you let him sit by your side, the cold couch caving under him as he settles at a good enough distance that heâs close enough to feel him beside you, but not sticking to your side inappropriately.
The silence with him is a more understanding one. Itâs not the first time heâs seen you cry, but you donât dare say anything. Is there even something to say? You didn't argue, Jungkook didn't run away angry at you, he didn't tell you he hates you and wishes you were somebody else, yet, you feel as if he did something worse. Empty yet full of self deprecating thoughts you wouldn't voice out to the best psychologist on the planet. You couldnât tell Mingyu even if you wanted to.
A hand, warm and firm, places just above your knee. Itâs soft, careful, an innocent touch to understand that heâs there for you. The gesture is oddly comforting, and you allow yourself to feel everything. The embarrassment, the disappointment, the hurt, knowing Mingyu won't judge you for it.
âItâs not your fault.â Mingyu claims, his voice overpowering your racing thoughts.
Maybe itâs the way he says it so sincerely, but you break down even more. Your hands cover your face once again, bending down until your forehead touches your knees. Mingyuâs hand frees itself from the cage you created. Heâs definitely had enough of your crying for the night by now. He tried to help and you repay him by dropping half your weight onto his hand and continue crying? If he leaves too, you wouldnât blame him.
But he doesnât leave. Instead, Mingyu wraps his arm around your shoulder and brings you closer to him. âHe doesnât deserve your tears.â
Your heart stops for a second, taking in your closeness and the reason behind it, and what he said about his close friend. Your head lays against Mingyuâs shoulder almost on its own, and he keeps you there, even if your tears start staining his shirt.
âHe wasnât like this before.â Your voice breaks trying to defend the you of the past, and the arm behind you stiffens before you feel his hand hold onto your other shoulder for comfort. âThey warned me, and I didnât listen.â
He shouldnât be the one to tell you. Mingyu knows that. But youâre so broken, crumbling against him like thereâs nothing else you can do, that he almost lets the truth slip out. Itâs on the tip of his tongue, the thing thatâll break you even more. But he canât allow himself to do it.
So, he stays silent, offering a place for you to let out all your feelings. Whatever you need to feel better, even if itâs just a little.
Mingyu doesnât know how much time passes, or what youâre thinking, but he can feel how your breathing regulates with every second. Eventually, your sniffles become rarer and rarer, you straighten your posture and, unfortunately for him, step away from his hold.
âIâm sorry, Iââ You canât look him in the eyes, taken aback by the realization of what happened, guilt making you trip over your words, âI shouldnât haveââ
Getting up and gathering your things is the only thing you can think of doing. Whatever solace you found in his arms is now gone, replaced by an awkwardness you donât know how to handle. Mingyuâs eyes bore holes on your back as you pick up your things that fell down when you first entered the apartment without care.
âItâs okay,â Mingyuâs gentle words help you relax, but the need to get out of the apartment is stronger. âYou can stay, I donât want you to leave while being upset.â
âI canât be here, Mingyu.â You donât mean to sound so hostile, but everywhere you look is a reminder of how pathetic you just were. Itâs pushing you away.
âIs there anything I can do?â Mingyu hovers around you, not wanting to scare you away. Heâll do whatever you ask him to. âAnything.â
âIâ I just want to be alone.â You walk yourself to the door, too tired to think about how you feel about everything that happened. Too busy to consider anything else. âI have to get ready for tomorrow.â
âRight, itâs tomorrow.â Heâd forgotten about the college thing. Your college thing. He was so busy pretending to mind his own business and hiding from his feelings that he forgot you have your own life too. âYouâre gonna do great.â
âThank youâŠâ Your hand rests on the door handle, hesitating leaving Mingyu after he helped you. âIâll see you tomorrow.â Your lips tight in the best smile you can manage, in an attempt to not seem mad at him.
âWeâll pick you up in the morning.â Mingyu announces, even if he knows you planned to come on your own.
âThereâs no need for that.â You let out a sad, airy chuckle that squeezes Mingyuâs heart.
âNo, Weâllââ he starts, but corrects himself, âIâll pick you up. Itâs not up to discussion. You, focus on resting.â
Mingyu takes the decision for you and opens the door himself, both of you ignoring the tingling at the touch of your hands. A quiet mumble goodbye is all you manage to say before going for the elevator. And Mingyu stays at the door until heâs sure the elevatorâs going down.
The scorching mid-day sun heated the car so much you canât rest against it. A few feet ahead, the guys stand in line at the convenience store at the gas station, with mainly energy drinks in hand and a few sandwiches. After driving the entire morning, everyone collectively decided to stop for a while for a bit of leg stretching and to recharge for more hours of driving.
Itâs been a weird day from the start.
Mingyu picked you up like he promised, and even made sure you didnât dare take an uber to their home by texting you they were on the way too early in the morning. You were about to open the uber app when he texted.
You barely got any sleep during the night, your brain switching from replaying the evening at Jungkookâs place and revising for the presentation. You rested so little, yet the usually soothing hum of the car isnât helping you sleep, choosing to focus on everyoneâs voice.
Since you opened your eyes, after tossing and turning all night, you didnât let yourself think about anything that wasnât the presentation. When to pause, how much to wave your hands in the air. It worked to an extent. But hearing Jungkook sitting by your side making the effort to talk to Cathlyn, who was sitting in the passenger seat while Mingyu was driving, almost made you go insane.
The only reason youâre alone waiting while the rest of them shop is because you insisted. No, you donât need to go to the bathroom. No, you donât want anything specific to eat. No, you donât need to walk it out. Just in need of a little bit of peace. And Jungkook let you be. Heâs been pretending nothing happened the previous night, and youâre glad heâs not forcing you to voice out your thoughts.
The bell above the storeâs door chimes as everyone leaves altogether. Instinctively, you reach for the passengerâs door, as the idea was for Mingyu and Jungkook to switch seats so Mingyu can take a rest from driving, but a voice reaches you before you get the chance to open the car.
âIs it okay if I stay there?â Cathlyn runs over to you with a pack of chips in hand.
âShotgun again?â Jungkook appears behind her, a sly smile on his face before he rounds the car to open the trunk.
She giggles at him but turns her attention back to you when she notices your silence and questioning look. âIâm sorry, I just get really dizzy in the backseat.â
Giving up on reality is easier than fighting it. Youâre not going to be the one to deny the poor girl who just got broken up with. Sure, sit with your best friend, laugh with him and ignore the rest of the world outside your bubble. Who cares? âSure, I donât mind.â
The car is not that small, but with Cathlynâs friend, who you didnât know was coming on the trip until you were in front of the car on the street by your building, you end up between her and Mingyu in the backseat.
Feeling him by your side wakes up flashbacks from the previous night. But if before he was warm and comforting, heâs now rigid in place, looking out the window as the car gets back on the road. You donât know what you expected, or why you feel a hint of disappointment at the pit of your stomach, but thereâs nothing you can really do. You arenât giving him many chances to be friendly with you either.
For a moment, youâre thankful for the cease in conversation, when Jungkook turns up the volume of the radio and random pop hits start entrancing everyone in the car into listening quietly. Cathlyn and her friend, who they call Mel, bob their heads to the song in sync without realizing, and itâs peaceful.
But then, the next song plays, and the two people sitting in the front part of the car collectively gasp. Mingyu shifts on your side, and you know he recognized what they did too.
âThis is the song thatââ Cathlyn starts, but they both laugh before she can finish explaining.
âHe really hated you for that.â The only reason Jungkookâs eyes are on the road is because heâs driving, because if he werenât, youâre sure heâd be laughing his ass off with Cathlyn.
âHe hated me before too!â She slaps his shoulder before erupting into laughter again. âFor no reason may I add.â
All three of you in the backseat just stare at them, listening, waiting for one of them to think of telling the anecdote. Your instincts want nothing more than to look at Mingyu, side eye him for a little help, but you fight them.
âWhat did you do?â Mel asks by your side, trying to get the attention from the party in the front.
âOur history teacher hated her in senior year.â Jungkook looks at Mel through the rear-view mirror. âShe argued with him almost every day.â
âI can see her doing that.â While her friend chuckles at the bit of the story, Cathlyn still doesnât turn around, almost exclusively laughing with Jungkook.
âAnd he threatened to fail me on the last test we had!â
âI keep telling you, thereâs no way he wouldâve done that.â
âIt seemed like a very real threat to me.â
âSo, you had to blast this song outside the classroom?â
âI had to make a show out of it!â
As they keep bickering about their senior year, leaving you out of the fun, the air around you becomes as awkward as ever. Melâs laughing with them, the only one paying real attention to their jabs at each other. Mingyu, on the other hand, looks down as he plays with his fingers. Youâre⊠bored.
The conversation youâre not a part of doesnât interest you, the musicâs no longer loud enough to help you take your mind off everything, and you have at least two more hours of agony.
So you focus on the cars on the road, the ones you pass, the ones that pass you, the grass, the animals, the farms, until your eyes finally close on their own.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
When you open your eyes again, the carâs slowing down, arriving at the motel thatâll house the five of you for the following days. Itâs still bright outside, but the slightly orange tones in the sky and your stomach growling indicate the beginning of the evening.
A familiar hard surface below your temple holds your head in place. When exactly you fell asleep is the first question that pops up in your head. The second one answers itself quickly.
âWeâre here.â Mingyuâs low voice accompanies his soft grip just above your knee, with a little reminder of the last time it was there.
As you lift your head and stretch your neck until it pops, it hits you. You fell asleep on Mingyuâs shoulder. A whole two hours where you bothered him, again. Made him take care of you, again.
âYou shouldâve woken me up.â Mingyu shakes his head at your intent of an apology, but you interrupt him before he speaks up, âIâm sure you were uncomfortable.â
âReally, I didnât mind.â In the background, Cathlyn and Mel excuse themselves out of the car to look for their room in a rush. âI can wash all the drool off my shirt just fine.â
âI do not drool.â The way he chuckles compels you to join him. Itâs easy, and the first time you even smiled in the day.
The door to the driverâs seat shuts closed with force, and both you and Mingyu scurry to get out of the car as soon as possible.
You donât miss the way Jungkook studies you as he hands each of you your bags from the trunk. Cold as ice, he stays silent when Mingyu excuses himself to find their shared room.
âIf your planâs to make me jealous, thatâs not gonna cut it.â Jungkookâs voice surprises you from behind, and the frown he wears on his face accompanies the angry tone.
âI didnât plan anything.â He doesnât speak to you the whole trip, and now he has the audacity to be mad at you? âBut by the looks of it, whatever you think I did, it clearly worked.â
âAlready looking for a rebound?â He follows behind you to the entrance of the motel.
âJungkook, I donât have time for this.â
You have hours and hours of practice ahead of you, and they might not be enough for your talk to be perfect. He knows the congress is a big deal to you, or at least he should. You canât be thinking about anything else. Not about him. Not about your relationship with him. Not about Mingyu.
âAre you planning to break up with me?â Youâve never heard him talk like this before. He doesnât sound hurt, just angry, jealous.
You scoff. âIf you keep being an asshole, I might.â The answer blurts out without checking with your brain first. He didnât expect you to say something back. You didnât either.
âFine.â Jungkook crosses his arms, waiting for you to say the words youâre not even sure you want to utter. âDo it.â
âLook, I canât deal with this right now.â You take a deep breath, trying to think clearly, to not do anything impulsively. âYouâre mad and Iâm stressed. Itâs not the best time.â
âAre you saying youâll do it tomorrow?â
âWhat? Iâm not saying anything, Jungkook, stop.â Your bagâs heavy on your shoulder as you rack your brain for anything to help you out of this. âWhy donât we take the night off, Iâll practice for tomorrow, you can relax after all the driving, and weâll have a proper talk tomorrow. Okay?â
Jungkook huffs, mumbling something close to a âfine then, byeâ before storming off.
The back of your throat feels dry and hoarse from the hours of speech practice. How to modulate correctly, how to make your voice bigger. It takes a toll on you.Â
When you and your friends planned to do the finishing touches the night before the congress, none of you thought youâd be trapped in a tiny motel room for hours, tweaking the words to seem more professional, timing yourselves to fit in the 15 minute time slot, and even going as far as to plan when and how to look at the screen behind you.
Your stomach growls incessantly. You havenât had anything to eat in hours, besides the simple dinner the three of you had after setting up in your rooms. Seeing every one of you is tired, the girls donât stop you when you get up and leave the room in search of a vending machine.
Somehow, the balcony has better lighting than your hallway, and you spot a big vending machine just outside your hallway. Picking a snack is not hard when your tummy begs for anything, so you grab the random chip bag you picked and begin to head back when you hear a loud thud and a curse coming from the next hallway.
Judging by which hallway youâre walking into, and the sheer size of the person bending over in pain in front of their door, itâs Mingyu.
âAre you okay?â You rush to help him in any way you can.
Mingyuâs head shoots your way and he curses again. âShit, itâs you, hi, yeah.â He grunts in between words and tries to stand up straight. âI closed the door right in my hand. Itâs no big deal, really. Go rest for tomorrow.â
Even from afar, you could see the sweat stains on the back of his sleeveless t-shirt. His shallow breathing and sweat dripping down his hair and face welcome you as you reach him. It's a sight. His skin glistening under the white hallway lights catches your attention a second longer than it should before it goes back to the cause of his pain.
âYouâre bleeding!â Taking a closer look at the hand heâs holding, you see a growing red bubble right under the ring fingerâs nail. âLetâs get you inside.â
âYou donât have toââ
âShut up and go put your hand under running cold water.â After heâs helped you so many times, the least you can do is google what to do when someone has a bubble of blood growing under their nail.
The empty room catches your attention as you read the quick answers your search pulled up. âJungkookâs not here?â
Looking over to the open bathroom door, Mingyuâs hand is under the running tap like you instructed, but heâs staring at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. He must know about the fight you two had.
âHe went out with some friends that came here too.â He answers before giving up and drying his hand. âItâs not clearing out.â
You should be used to him sitting closely by your side. Your breath shouldnât quicken and your hands shouldnât sweat as the bed creaks below him. Actually, you need to stop getting into situations where Mingyu needs to sit beside you. But you canât help it.
Maybe focusing on his minor injury can help your body relax. âOkay, so, google says it should go away on its own in like⊠two or three days.â Even if thereâs so many questions you have for him that you avoided all day, itâs not the time.
âI'll have to stay with a blood bubble on my finger for days?â His threatening pout lifts your mood quickly.
You chuckle, taking his hand in yours once again. âDoes it hurt?â Mingyu shakes his head with a small smile growing in his face, letting you have your way.
Now that heâs calmer than when you found him outside, his fingers relax in your hold as you look for any bruises. His hand that held you and comforted you one too many times, now being taken care of by you. Rushes of warm blood follow where your skin meets his, even the lightest of touches aren't free of his effect on you.
âWhy didnât you go with them?â Your mouth betrays you once again, voicing out your thoughts instead of getting through the silence. âYour friends.â
âDidnât feel like it.â His answer is simple. And you wish it was enough to satiate your curiosity, but you simply can't stop asking questions.
âNothing more?â You don't know what you expect him to answer. Maybe you're just looking for excuses to keep talking to him, to stay in the momentary bubble that surrounds you every time youâre with him.
âI haven't been⊠liking him much lately.â
Mingyu's careful with his choice of words. Still believing itâs not his place to talk about what goes on in Jungkookâs life, he canât not be honest with you, not when youâre so close to him heâs sure you can read every expression on his face.
A drop of sweat drips down the side of his face, training your eyes to follow its way down until it dampens the side of his mouth.
âYou're best friends.â A remainder, more to yourself than to him.
âDoesn't mean I have to agree with everything he does.â
Mingyu hopes you understand the meaning behind his words.
You hope he doesn't notice the way your eyes stayed too long on his moving lips before going back to his eyes.
You both hope for things you can't voice out, charging the little space between your stares with electricity. With his hand forgotten in your hold, reading his expression becomes your main task.
None of you dare move, and you know, somehow, that he's waiting for you to do something âanything. What you don't know is what you want.
Your phone chimes in your back pocket just when you part your lips to speak. There's a millisecond, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn't watching Mingyu's gaze closely, where his eyes drift down your face. With your lips dry at his attention, you break the spell, letting go of his hand to reach for your phone.
Nayeon asks where you disappeared to, and sends a long chain of suspecting emojis when you tell her who youâre with.
âIâI have to get back.â Getting up from the weak motel bed in a flash, Mingyu's eyes follow you to the door. âSorry for taking up your time.â
âYou gotta stop with that.â He stops you in your tracks, with a soft grip on your wrist to turn you back to him.
âStop talking like you're a bother.â He doesn't let you dismiss him. âYou don't bother me. I wouldn't spend time with you if you did.â
âYou didn't use to like me. And now you pity me, that's why you spend time with me.â Even if you'd like to believe otherwise.
âThat's not true.â He doesn't let go of you, and you stop aiming to get out the door. âI don't pity you.â
âYou never talked to me until you caught me crying that day.â Your head tilts, trying not to seem so serious with your counter argument.
Another text comes through your phone. You shouldn't be wasting time on such an important night. But is it really wasted time if you're spending it with him?
âIt wasn't about you.â Mingyu reveals, but it doesn't really clear up your doubts. âI don't like getting to know people I'm not sure will stick around.â
âSo, it's true.â You bring your arm out of his grip, a way to protect yourself. âI wasn't supposed to last this long.â
âLook. It's not my place, and I've already gotten too involved.â Mingyu's words fly over you, choosing not to overthink what he means. âJungkook's shit is Jungkookâs shit, but you can decide what to do too. Don't wait for him to make a decision for you.â
âI'm capable of making my own decisions, Mingyu.â You say, convinced but weary of his tone.
âI know you are. He doesn't.â
The silence is striking, breathtaking, heartstopping. Words don't come up in your brain, an infinite echo of Mingyu's remark rendering you incapable of following a simple order.
âSee you tomorrow.â You can only offer him a small smile before finally leaving the room full of him.
The applause almost breaks you down. You can finally take a deep breath. The thing youâve been preparing for weeks, taking up most of your sleep time and raising the bar for how much stress you can handle, is finally done.
Well, not completely. Your speech is done, yes, but the time for questions begins. Jennie and Nayeon answer everything swiftly as your eyes scan the room for any known faces. You finished the presentation and you can barely catch your breath as your heart tries to slow down, so they take on the most annoying part of the job.
From across the room, behind the people eager to ask their questions with their hands in the air or attentively listen to your friendsâ responses, the tall man only looking at you makes your heart stop.
Was he there the whole time? When you speak in a room full of people, you tend to disappear into your own mind, barely registering what surrounds you until your timeâs up. He could've just got here, but deep down you know he didnât. Deep down, you know heâs been there since the start, supporting you without your knowledge.
As a hand on your shoulder starts gently dragging you away from the stand, splitting the way between your connected stares, a sense of accomplishment washes over you. You're done, you can carry on with your life.Â
In the hallway just outside where you just spent the most stressful hours of your life, you can hear the next group beginning their presentation, one that luckily youâre not required to be present for. Perks of being in the line up.
Getting out the other door, Mingyu searches for you and finds you walking over to him with the biggest smile adorning your face.
âWhat did you think?â Your friendsâ giggles make it to your ears from behind. Merging the constant teasing youâre the victim of with their infatuation with Mingyu is dangerous, but there really is only one thing in your mind now.
âYou talked really well.â The highlight of every word as his eyebrows wiggle with confusion lights a warmth in your belly that spreads across your body into a chuckle.
âYou didnât understand a thing, did you?âÂ
âI didnât.â Itâs his chuckle, and his smile, and his eyes glimmering, and his chin tilted down to get a better look at you.
Have you ever felt this way before? Easy under someoneâs gaze, unafraid of making them feel less intelligent. Heâs⊠genuinely happy for you. Out of all the presentations in the schedule, your subject matter was the least close to his field, yet he chose to listen to your sociology lesson.
âThank you for coming.â You say before the magic fades. âYouâyou didnât have to.â
âI didnât want to miss it.â Heâs the most genuine he can possibly be.
Mingyu undoubtedly, and selfishly, cares about you. From the sidelines, he saw you getting the opportunity, the toll the preparations were taking on you. He wasnât going to skip one of the biggest moments of your life after seeing you struggle for so long.
âThat makes one of you.â You donât mean it to sound as spiteful, but the sour taste in your mouth as you realize who isnât present triggers the resentful tone. âAnyway, Iâm not gonna let some asshole ruin my day! Weâre going to celebrate with the girls and some guys I have no idea how they managed to make friends with, do you want to come?â
Mingyu doesn't think about what you mean behind your invitation. âSure, if you want me there.â Heâd jump at any chance he got to spend time with you.Â
Ever since that night at the pool bar, Mingyu never forgot your willingness to not let one bad moment overshadow an otherwise enjoyable day. A quality he could learn from. Thatâs why, he also canât forget about the moments he comforted you, when everything became so overwhelming you had no choice but to let it all out.
âLetâs go then!â Your hand aims to stretch back for him to take, but the little angel on your shoulder wins this round, and you just walk out the hall with Mingyu following you, hand hanging cold by your side.
The evening sky greets you on the outside world, and the fresh air filling your lungs after being trapped inside the suffocating new college is very welcomed by your body.
Following your friends wherever they go, letting them choose which bar or club to go celebrate, you can only smile and silently walk behind them. Mingyuâs towering presence occupies the space to your right. Heâs also silent, admiring the new city, letting you have the unspeaking moment you need.
Itâs not long before youâre getting into a club with flashing colored lights and loud pop music coming out of the speakers. The sense of accomplishment embodies you whole. One less thing to worry about, one less thing weighing you down. You won't let anyone take the freedom from you.
Itâs a carefree night. You let yourself be dragged to the packed dance floor, your friends leading the way amidst all the bodies crowding as they dance out of sync.
Being drunk could never compare to the happiness you feel as you join everyone dancing. You allow the music to take over you, with your hips and limbs coordinating to the rhythm of each song playing, blending into the sea of people.
You don't know when, you don't care how, and with no will to stop, you and Mingyu drift towards each other, the little space and dim atmosphere making it easy to hide everything wrong with what you're doing.
âYou're happy.â Mingyu leans down to say to your ear. The only way you could hear him over all the noise.
âI am!â You don't fight the smile growing in your lips, focusing on the way Mingyu's eyes scan your face under the blue lights.
This time, the battle between the little angel and the devil dictating your choices ends with the victory of the mischievous voice that tells you to inch closer to Mingyu.
With the excuse of the loud music, you stand on your tiptoes to reach the side of his face, your lips grazing his ear as you say, âI'm glad you came.â
His hands steady you in place before you lose your balance, holding onto your hips and keeping you in place.
You should swat his hands away. He should stand back from the girl who isn't his. The tension sizzles from the tip of his fingers barely dipping into a bit of uncovered skin and up your body until your chest tightens.
âI'm sure you'd want someone else here.â Even with the scandalous meaning behind his words, you don't ignore the light teasing tone he purposely uses.
âI'm not thinking about him right now.â His eyes search for yours, finding only truth in them.
The people surrounding you, unscrupulously dancing against each other and paying you no mind, sway your bodies from side to side. Neither of you make a move to separate, letting the pushing crowd be the excuse for your closeness. You have the urge to wrap your arms around his neck, but you fight it. Maybe if he was something else, you would.
But the universe would never let you be this careless without some karma waiting for you.
When your gaze reluctantly disconnects from Mingyu's in search for your friends, the sight of two familiar people catches your attention a few meters to the side. You should've known he was with her. That he'd choose her over you even for this.
They're just dancing, and you can't complain about it because you're currently in the arms of another man too. It's just⊠different.Â
Your hands find Mingyu's still on your sides, grabbing them softly to get them off you as your eyes go from the scene you just witnessed to him and then back. Of course, he gets it immediately.
âI can talk to him.â Mingyu has this instinct now, to shield you from having a bad time.
âNo, I'll do it. I have a few things in mind to say.â While you appreciate him wanting to help, itâs something you have to do on your own. You canât shield behind Mingyu any longer.
Making the sacrifice of looking like a psychotic girlfriend, the adrenaline moves your legs forward, no time to think further about what youâre about to do. They donât see you coming, they probably didnât even see you with Mingyu before, too sucked into their bubble to notice other people.
âJungkook.â His shocked expression just confirms your theory. He notices youâre mad quickly, but the wheels turning in his mind, failing to find the reason for your anger, are so visible you canât control your mouth. âGlad to see youâre having fun.â
âHi, babe! I didnâtâsee you come in!â He leans into the wall behind him for support, body as stiff as ever. âHaving a good time?â
âAre you kidding me?â Admittedly, youâre raising your voice a few decibels over the necessary amount, but youâve never cared less about drawing attention than at this moment. âYou really forgot, huh?â
Only then, Jungkook realizes he messed up. Itâs not normal to see you angry, especially not at him. âLetâs talk outside, okay? Itâs quieter.â
You catch his eyes going back to Cathlyn before he places a hand on your lower back to direct you to the door. Astonishing, really.
âYou could make it less obvious, at least.â The harsh cold night wind slaps you even more awake. âIâm not stupid, Jungkook.â
Youâre not dressed to be standing outside on the street at this hour. The cityâs too windy, making you shiver as if it was the middle of winter. You donât want to look weak in Jungkookâs eyes, you need to look like you stand your ground. The cold is a mental state anyway, you can fight it.
âYouâre not, babe, but what are you talking about? What are you doing here?â His cluelessness does everything but help his situation.
âWeâre celebrating that our presentation was a success.â At the news, everything clicks in Jungkookâs mind.
âIt was today.â Jungkook reminds himself out loud.
âOf course it was today! Why else do you think we drove all this way?â He has to be a special kind of disengaged and disinterested to selectively wipe his memory like this, you think.
âIâm sorry, baby! So much happened today, and I thought you didnât want to see me after last night.â
âDonât use one fight as an excuse. You forgot or you didnât care. Either way, this was important to me and you didnât come.â
People passing you on the street side eye the scene youâre making. Jungkook seems to care about being judged, taking in account the way his eyes widen at every raise of your voice.
At his silence, you keep going. âWhat did Cathlyn fucking need this time? What could have possibly been more important than your girlfriend?â It feels pathetic to call yourself that.
âYou have to understand,â his voice becomes tense at the utterance of her name, âsheâs my best friend. She means everything to me.â
Youâre positive sheâs listening to all of this. Hiding behind the clubâs door waiting for the chance to come out and comfort her oh so dear best friend. Itâs not her fault, but itâs hard not to grow an ill feeling thinking about her.
âDonât I mean anything? Why get into a relationship with me if you wonât take it seriously? If youâre in love with someone else?â
Itâs hard to form an articulated sentence when the anger and the sadness spar in your mind. Itâs hard not to feel desperate, a pitiful attempt at making a careless man care about you.
Your gaze trains on the floor, tuning out Jungkookâs lame excuses and not truthful apologies. Without looking at him, and with only the grey sidewalk on sight, itâs like you can think clearly for the first time.
âIâm sorry, baby, I promise Iâll make it up to you.â Itâs just a moment where you let his words register, and itâs the last thing you need to decide.
âNo. You wonât.â
Jungkook shuts up instantly. Your gaze doesnât falter this time, locking into his with your best poker face. You can see every thought passing through his mind, every little reaction he fights to show. He analyzes your expression, looking for another meaning, for any sign that you donât mean what you said.
âI promise I will, baby, câmon.â
The thing is, after so many promises, those words coming out of his mouth become meaningless. Theyâre just empty words he uses to get you to forgive him, heâs not being truthful, heâs just begging so he can feel better with himself.
âNo! You wonât! That was your last chance.â It gets clearer and clearer to him what youâre saying.
You shouldn't have been silently enduring the scraps of his attention he was giving you. Waiting for your growing feelings to be reciprocated by someone who doesnât respect you. Those feelings, however big or small âyouâre not sure, quickly started dissipating at the realization that he simply didnât care. It wasnât his memory, or his busy schedule, it was the lack of intention. Care and intention he always showed to someone else.
âBabeâŠâ He sounds like he gave up too, one last pity attempt you know he doesnât mean.
âWeâre done. You never wanted to be with me, and I certainly donât want to be with you anymore.â
When you start walking away, Jungkook doesnât stop you, standing where you left him with his eyes lost to the ghostly street.
Realizing the burden heâs been on your life and letting it go finally lets you see clearly. Your night mightâve been ruined, but youâre liberated from that pain. Youâre not happy, but youâre not sad either, just walking forward, a new future ahead.
Youâve walked almost two whole blocks, the motel a half block away, when the sound of rushed steps chasing you alerts you. You didnât think anyone would be coming after you, but you realize who it is right when the figure appears in your line of sight.
âAre you okay?â Mingyuâs breathless, slowing his pace to match yours. He definitely heard everything that happened.
âYeah, I think so.â Even if you sound convinced, he stays walking with you.
âIâll walk you inside.â He doesnât look back, deciding on what to do. But you know he should be making sure his friend is okay. You guess he is, though.
âI'll be fine. You can stay withââ
âI want to make sure youâre okay.â Mingyu interrupts you before you can say the otherâs name. âI don't care about him right now.â
Your heart stops for a moment before your brain catches up. All those times Jungkook left you and Mingyu came right to the rescue, when he got annoyed at them in the pool bar, or admitting he didnât like what Jungkook was âchoosingâ. Of course he has to know how his best friend and roommate feels about everyone.
âYou knew it all this time.â He doesnât look at you, staring at the distance as he listens closely. âThat heâs in love with her.â
âI didn't want to be the one to tell you.â
Your room doorâs just one step away now, but you still stop in your tracks at his words. You never thought of his silence as his way to shield you from the truth. You never thought that the initial pity he took on you âeven if he denies it, came from a place of hiding something from you.
âHe was in love with somebody else while being with me! Thatâs the kind of thing you need to tell me!â Luckily, the hallway is completely deserted at this hour. You wouldnât want to make another scene. Youâre more aware of everything now, free but raw, as if anything could scar you.
âIt wasn't my place!â For a second you understand Mingyu. Imagining him even implying it hurts more than realizing the truth yourself. But it still hurts. You trusted him with your most vulnerable moments, and all that time he hid that he knew the real cause for that pain. âAnd don't act like you didn't know it too.â
Mingyuâs harsh comment feels like a punch in the gut. Thereâs no malice in his tone, youâve come to know him and his tendency to be too direct sometimes, it was just unexpected this time.
But he is right. There were signs everywhere for you to see, signs you turned a blind eye to. It was a thought that often crossed the back of your mind, but you dismissed it before you could think about it further. You were stupid to think you were paranoid and it meant nothing.
âStop.â You realize you weren't looking at him and shoot your gaze up. âI know what youâre thinking. Donât blame yourself. Heâs the asshole and youâre not at fault for believing him.â
âBut I shouldnât have. I thought I was smarter than that, turns out Iâm just dumb.â You want to curl up in bed, hide from the judging outside world and forget all about Jungkook and the past few weeks. But not all of it.
âHeâs the dumb one for not seeing how great you are.â Mingyu's hand on your shoulder manages to comfort you enough to hold off on the tears. âAre you okay? About breaking it off?â
âI know it was the right choice for me. But I have to assimilate it, I think. Sleep it offâ
Mingyu nods in acknowledgement as your hand reaches for the doorknob. As if that was your way of ending the conversation, he turns his body to head out the grimy hallway, because he knows whatâs next. Youâll cut off everything related to your now ex, a pack of memories in which he himself is included. This is why he shouldnât have gotten involved with you. Thereâs no way youâll want to be in touch with him after everything.
âMingyu.â Itâs your voice that makes him turn around. Even considering how heartbroken you must be, thereâs a slight grin on your face as you think about what to say next. âI didnât say I wanted to be alone.â
His heart accelerates as if it was miles ahead of the thought process his brain is having a hard time catching up with. Still, beyond whatever he wants and feels, he knows you need some time to think clearly, someone to be there for you regardless of feelings.
At his hesitation, you open the door and look back at him as you enter. Itâs a clear invitation, one he accepts immediately.
After closing the door behind him, the unmade bed calls his name and he sits at the edge to take his shoes off as you begin your night routine in front of the bathroom mirror.
âIâm curious about something.â You look cute smothering moisturizing cream all across your face, Mingyu thinks. âDo you think she likes him back?â
He finds it in himself to chuckle. âDo you really want to talk about that right now?â
âLook, I wonât be sad about it if I can turn it into a gossip session later. Itâs my way of getting over things, so please just indulge me this time.â
Youâre looking at him as you tap your face with the pads of your fingers. Mingyu doesnât see an ounce of sadness in your expression, instead, youâre very serious with what youâre asking. And he wonât argue with that logic, if thatâs what it takes to help you forget and spend more time with you.
âShe never told me anything.â Your half closed eyes and head turned to the side signal Mingyu to keep talking. âIf he confessed, I think she could like him back. They already act like a couple anyway.â
Mingyu realizes he went too far. You donât say anything, but your shoulders slouch before you grab your pajamas from the nightstand and lock yourself in the bathroom. That was definitely not what you wanted to hear. Shit.
âI hope they can finally realize theyâre idiots.â When the door opens to reveal the loose but all too revealing clothes barely covering your body, Mingyu can almost hear all the air in his lungs escaping at once. âAre you getting in bed?â
Maybe itâs his mind playing sick games with him. You canât possibly be asking him to slip under the covers with you and be calm about it. Thereâs a lot of things he can calmly face up to. The idea of laying down so close to the person whoâs been making a mess of his every thought is not one of those.Â
Still, he follows suit with your not so indirect invite. He doesnât want to make assumptions about you, about the situation, or about what you want, so he lets you take the lead for tonight. Trusting that youâll show him what you need and believing that he can give it to you.
The both of you lay awkwardly side by side, facing the ceiling deep in thought. Only the breathing sounds and the way your arm grazes against his keep Mingyuâs senses in check. He feels like a highschooler having his first conversation with his crush. He can no longer be the cool, calm self he praised himself to be. So, he resorts to silence.
âWas he always like that? Ending relationships after realizing itâs not what he wants?â You turn in your place, facing him with those doe eyes of yours that always make him fold.
âIf it makes you feel any better, I think itâs the girls that break up with him.â He mirrors your position, feeling better at the entire situation when he sees your smile at his comment.
âGood for them.â
Thereâs something in your gaze that makes Mingyu question if itâs worth it to be loyal to his friend. Though that moral code mustâve been broken already, thereâs still a line, no matter how thin, he hasnât crossed yet. Emphasis on âheâ, because he can never be sure whatâs your next move.
âAre you sure youâre okay?â He dares to ask again.
Mingyuâs hyper aware of how close you are. How you shift a bit closer to him as you think your answer. He thought the clothes he was wearing were okay to sleep in, but his bodily temperature keeps rising at the thought of you.
âI still feel a bit stupid.â He canât stand hearing you talk about yourself like that, but he doesnât get to argue. You shut his mouth closed, placing your index finger on the center of his lips before he can utter a word. A touch so innocent he immediately feels bad at how electrifying it felt. âMy friends warned me that his relationships never lasted. And I guess I wanted to see it for myself. Have the empirical data, if you will.â
He sees your gaze go down from his eyes, and your hand goes down with it to whatever caught your attention. He swallows hard, waiting for just one signal. The chain around his neck tugs at the back, and he realizes youâre inspecting the little charm hanging from it.
âItâs not like I was in love with him.â Every word you say feels like fire on his end. âHe was fun at first. Thatâs what I liked about him.â
You play with Mingyuâs chain like itâs second nature. Like you donât realize your handâs dangerously close to his chest, about to feel the beating of his heart growing stronger each second.
âIâm sorry I didnât tell you.â That makes your eyes go up again, eyelashes fluttering so close he could count each one of them.
âI get why you didnât, youâre a good friend. And I think it was better for me to realize on my own, if that makes you feel any better.â The smile that grows on him matches yours perfectly.
âI donât know how much of a good friend I am anymore.â The honesty slips out of him under your scanning stare. âIâm here after all, arenât I?â
Mingyu should feel guilty. He left the bar to go after you without so much of a second thought, leaving his supposed best friend to deal with everything on his own. Thatâs how much he cares about you. His need for you overflows into every area of his life, making the guilt disappear into the stream of things that donât matter. Youâre not taken anymore. And, deep down, he knows Jungkookâs going to be fine. He doesnât care about you even a fraction of how much Mingyu does.
Heâs still deep in thought when he feels your hand going up the side of his jaw. Your icy fingers contrast against his fiery skin, driving him to lean into your touch. Heâd close his eyes and let you do anything you wanted if it wasnât for the intoxicating force of your gaze.
The irrational part of his brain doesnât let him stop you as your face gets closer so his. Youâre slowly testing the waters, seeing if heâll back down, but Mingyuâs quicker, and leans down the last millimeters to finally connect.
Your lips melt against his with a soft sigh, and everything stills for a moment. Enveloped with the tenderness of your touch, he feels you hazily pressing further against him, unsurely yearning for more.
But the rational part of his brain, the one that tugs on the last strand of morale he has, retrieves his head from your electrifying kiss.
âWe shouldnâtââ Mingyu regrets it instantly at the sight of your saddened eyes. But he knows itâs for the best. He couldnât live with himself if you werenât sure.
âYou donât want to?â The way your hand flies away from his personal space almost makes him take it and put it back where it belongs.
âI do.â He sounds desperate. He needs you to understand. âBut you should see how you feel when you have a clear mind.â
A thousand thoughts rush through your mind, visibly turning your expression soft again. Mingyu offers his arm for you to lay on, the most outlandish peace offering he can make without losing his mind first.
âOkay.â Your soft voice reverberates up his arm as you lay your head on his relaxed bicep. âDo you want to leave?â
He couldn't begin to imagine any dimension in the multiverse where he'd choose to stay away from the featheriness of your skin against his. âDo you want me to leave?â
âI asked you first.â Your light chuckle heals the worry beginning to creep up on Mingyu. In the future, he'll make sure you never doubt him again.
âI don't want to leave.â
The way your smile keeps making a blank slate of his brain should worry Mingyu. But he's never felt this way before, and if there's a chance, however big or small, that you could feel the same way, he won't go back.
âAnd I want you to stay.â
The morning sun rays bleed through the flimsy curtain, illuminating the otherwise plain motel room in a golden light. You feel warm all around, wrapped in Mingyuâs arms instead of the bedsheets that sometime along the night seem to have fallen to the floor.
But even in the confinement of Mingyuâs backhug, you feel free. What has been dragging your spirit through the floor finally cut from your life. The previous nightâs events faded to a distant memory as soon as you laid your head in Mingyuâs chest and drifted to the best sleep youâve had in weeks.
You donât dare turn in his hold, afraid to wake him up and make him face the day. Thatâs the one thing you havenât been able to dust off since you opened your eyes. The guilt.
Maybe for you, cutting Jungkook out of your life was the best decision, but Mingyu was his friend first, and last night, for whatever reason, he chose you. He chose to comfort the whiny girl that dumped his boyfriend instead of his best friend since they were in the womb.
The morning with him feels like sunrises on the beach, like a warm cup of coffee on the coldest day, like being trapped in an infinite bear hug. It feels like hope. And the guilt from wanting it all could consume you whole just like the need for him.
Mingyu must have mind reading superpowers, because his arms tighten around you before the guilt overwhelms you, easily forgetting it all at the feeling of his breath on your neck.
Neither of you say anything, sharing the comfortable silence, relishing being in each otherâs arms. You donât stop him when he tangles his legs with yours, feeling him everywhere from head to toe. You let your hands caress his forearms as they drift dangerously close to your lower belly.
Itâs wrong. Itâs definitely wrong on some moral level. Borderline evil even. Itâs too soon, and you need to understand what youâre feeling before moving forward with whatever this is. This that feels so nice, so right, but so wrong.
Mingyu doesnât seem to be having the same moral dilemma thatâs running around your mind anymore. The hardness you feel pressing against your inner thigh followed by a gasp that spreads goosebumps all across your back confirming your theory.
In the morning haze, in the limbo between days where time doesnât run and actions donât have consequences, you give into his infectious desire. The agreement you made the night before flying out the window as soon as a fire ignites all across your body.
You purposely grind against him, the indecent action causing your face to feel even warmer. A low moan gets caught in Mingyuâs throat at the feeling of your ass against his morning wood, one hand gripping your hip to keep you in place.
âWhat are you doing?â His raspy voice sends another fire down your body, making you squirm in his grip.
âNothing.â You feign innocence, pretending to straighten your posture but ultimately pressing yourself harder against his chest. âYou don't like it?â
The space between your bodies is crushed impossibly tighter until all you can feel are his muscles tensing in his search for you. The barrier you left standing the night before, demolished with little care as he sighs to your ear.
âIt's not that, princess,â every bit of skin Mingyu touches works like a button to make you need him more and more, âwe should wait.â
You'd agree with him if it wasn't for the elastic of your sleeping shorts stretching to fit his wandering hand. Itâs a timid action, one that contradicts his words but only gets encouraged by your gasp. These arenât the hands that held you close when you were broken, no, these are the ones that felt you shiver pretending to teach you to play pool, the ones that pushed you against him in the dimness of the club. The ones you crave with your whole body.
At your reaction, he drifts further down, playing with the hem of your panties so painfully slow the grip of your hand on his forearm grows stronger with each second he doesn't fully touch you. His lips graze your shoulder, trying to contain himself from kissing every inch he can reach.
When he flattens on your pelvis, pressing you against his faltering hips, you swear your whimper drives him to not so innocently thrust behind you. The room is impossibly hot, but you donât care, nothing matters other than your need to feel him inside.
Your mouth opens, hoping to work enough to plead for him, but a loud knock on your door startles you both out of the embrace.
If the earth itâs going to swallow you at any point in life, you hope itâs right then and there. Your panties are uncomfortably sticky as your embarrassed gaze connects with Mingyu, the both of you speechless with guilt. The most awkward second ever before another knock echoes into the room.
âTell Jennie Iâll be out in a second? I promised her weâd go out for breakfast together.â
The embarrassment doesnât let you look at him a second longer before you lock yourself in the bathroom. Maybe a splash of cold water on your face can help you not look like you just got cockblocked.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
However Mingyu thought his morning would go, the reality was far from his imagination, though it felt far better. He wouldn't mind waking up next to you again, heating up your skin with his touch until you whimper for him.
The sight of you, just woken up and shy at the boldness of what you just did, puts a sheepish smirk on his face. He almost forgets the wrongness of everything. But the decision he made, selfish and long forgotten, quickly comes back to bite him in the ass as he opens the door.
âWow, this is a nice sight!â Jungkook's face morphs into sarcastic shock as the door reveals a disheveled Mingyu.
âWhat are you doing here?â In all honesty, Mingyu didnât think about his friend last night, deep down knowing he wasnât going to be hurt for long.
âAre you her bodyguard now? I just want to talk about last night.â Jungkook attempts to take half a step into your room, but Mingyu immediately blocks the door.
âItâs not the time to get in my way, man.â The baseless threat doesnât make Mingyu budge in the slightest, which pisses Jungkook off. The manâs eyes widen after scanning the state of the room. âDid you fuck her?â
âWhat?â Mingyu can't believe what he's hearing.Â
âI asked, Did. You. Fuck. Her?â Speaking each word with clenched teeth, Jungkook's voice bleeds anger.
âWhy do you care?â
Jungkook barely lets him finish his question. âSo you fucked her.â
The crude language puts a bitter taste in Mingyu's mouth. As if only the sex mattered and not everything else. Not that he comforted you at your weakest, that you opened up your heart to him, that you kissed him so softly he almost passed out. Mingyu can only hope the bathroom door miraculously becomes soundproof.
âDon't pretend to care about her now.â Never in his life has he talked to Jungkook this way, always afraid of what could happen to their friendship if he tried to put some sense into him. Then again, his actions never hurt someone Mingyu actually cared about.
âI bet you couldnât wait for me to dump her.â The words spit out of Jungkookâs mouth like acid. âEager to take on my leftovers.â
âDude, I get that you're mad, but you're getting out of line.â The peacemaker in Mingyu takes over âitâs either that or a punch in the face, and tries to get his friend back in the hallway.
âIâm not mad!â He gasps with a hand to his chest. âJust shocked, that's all. Didnât even let a day pass.â Venom coats every word he says, justifiably betrayed by the one friend he thought he could always count with.
âI didnât mean for it to come to this,â Mingyu admits quietly, âI wasnât supposed to care.â
Thereâs nothing as Jungkook processes those words. A tense second that becomes an infinite one, a void sucking every apology out of his mouth. Mingyu would pay millions to know whatâs going on in his friendâs head. He could always tell what he was feeling even when he shut everyone off. But he was never the one causing his anger.
âI can gââ
âIâll take the bus home with Cathy.â Is all Jungkook says.
His blank face waits for Mingyu to nod before walking away with no second thoughts. Out of the million outcomes he thought for this conversation, Mingyu never thought heâd be the one left speechless. But they both clearly need some time alone before going back to being roommates, before talking like two grown adults and resolving this.
Itâs the sound of a door closing just meters behind him that takes him back to the room, your room.
Mingyu doesnât know what to do to shield you from the hurt. Heâs tired of simply being there to comfort you in the aftermath. He canât stand the sight before him, your lips turn downwards trying to get a hold of your feelings. He can see it all, the process of all the emotions going through your brain, until your face settles to a serious expression.
âIâm sorry you had to hear that.â Mingyu stays at the threshold of the door, not sure if youâd still want him as company.
âDonât be. Iâm glad I did.â You stay put in place, half a step from the messy bed, looking everywhere but at him. âAt least I donât have to feel guilty anymore.â
Guilt. Thatâs what he noticed when he gained consciousness and felt you tense in his hold. âAbout what happened earlierââ
âIâm sorry about that,â you interrupt him in his hesitation, âyou said you didnât want to and I crossed the line.â
âItâs notââ Your lips part in surprise as your eyes fly to his. âIâshit, I donât want you to think Iâm only being nice for something in return.â
âYou should be glad I donât think of you that way.â Itâs a weird feel of rejection, the one in your heart as you start picking up your things. A man says he doesnât want to have sex after rubbing himself against you and fighting with your ex boyfriend. âWe should pack, get ready to leave.â
âWhat do you think of me then?â
Mingyu standing leaning against the doorframe, following your every move with his eyes, makes you stumble upon every possible obstacle on your way. Even with your gaze elsewhere, you can feel him watching your every move.
âI think youâre a good man that lacks a sense of urgency.â Unfortunately, you didnât bring much stuff on the trip, and youâre getting to the end of things to take your mind off of Mingyu. âAre you going to stare at me all day?â
âI like you.â Mingyuâs sure about a lot of things, but at the weight lifting from his shoulders, the way you stop at his words and how you wait for him to continue, heâs certain heâs never felt like this before. âIâm sorry if that's weird and wrong to say, but I do.â
âIââ Thereâs no way to describe it, how your mind clears of any reasonable thought the second those words escape Mingyuâs lips.
âYou donât have to say anything. Like I said last night, I want you to figure out how you feel on your own time. Iâll be here, you can count on me. Iâm not going anywhere.â
His assurance helps. He somehow always knows how to help you, what to say, how to act.
Before you know it, youâre face to face with him, his warmth embracing you as he tilts his head down, waiting for your next move. Your cheek lays softly on his chest after wrapping your arms around him, hugging him tightly, the only way you have to express your gratitude.
Warm air effortlessly fills your lungs, the scent of him coating every one of your senses as he replicates your hug. His arms feel right around you, as if you were meant to be like this forever, and you relax in his hold.
âThank you.â Two simple words that mean so much more are the only thing you manage to utter, hoping he'll understand.Â
âAlways.â
Some girls my friends met at the congress came to town and begged for us to take them to a club Do you want to come? Itâs close to my place
As soon as you press send, you throw your phone at your bed on the other side of the room.
Itâs been two weeks since the most eventful weekend of your life. Two weeks since you finally stood up for yourself and chose your well being for once. Two weeks since Mingyu started being one of the most important parts of your everyday life.
Those afternoons when he made you wonder if you actually fit in his friendâs life, when the thought of him would cause you an immediate headache, feel like a ghost of the past. You couldnât imagine not being around him now, not receiving his ominous texts in the middle of the night after he finishes a random project for college that you donât understand, or not seeing his face after class when he picks you up and rambles about how good his class was that day.
He promised heâd be there for you, waiting for you to see how you feel about him without expecting anything in return. And every day that passes, the hurt and confusion fades away bit by bit, and a new, stronger, unexplored, feeling grows in your heart.
You donât know what compelled you to invite Mingyu out of nowhere. Youâre fully dressed, about to leave and with your friends already waiting on your buildingâs front door, but something at the back of your mind itched with a potent need to see him. Your fingers clicked on his contact and texted him before you could realize what you were doing.
Itâs not two minutes later that your phone vibrates with a new notification. Your skin crawls with the combined anxiety of wanting to see him but also not wanting to see him at all. The usual two feelings that fight to take over every time you think of him.
Youâre quick to run out your apartment before your friends come up and drag you out themselves. With your unlocked phone in hand, Mingyuâs name lights up your screen.
Sure. Text me address. Iâll meet you there.
The simplicity of his texts always makes you chuckle, embarrassingly smitten by his short sentences. You quickly text him the name and address before hopping off the elevator and joining your friends in the cold weather in which youâre not meant to be wearing the club clothing you chose.
Youâd be a liar if you didnât admit you were nervous to see Mingyu. The change came without warning. After getting used to him checking up on you, learning your coffee order and your class schedule, the anticipation started taking over you. Your eyes look for him around campus, your feet flee out of your classroom knowing heâs going to be there waiting for you.
You try to distract yourself when you get too in your mind about it, about him. Itâs a difficult new kind of occurrence youâre not sure how to navigate, so you resort to acting nonchalant about it. Thatâs why, when he arrives and your friends make eyes at you, you donât let the subject go further than admitting you invited him. Itâs a normal thing for people to invite their friends to hang out!
But no matter how hard you try, your eyes donât stop wandering to the bar, where Mingyuâs forgotten his quest to get another round of drinks and is talking to the most graceful and gorgeous woman alive.
Of course, Mingyu chose tonight of all nights to look like a prince coming to the rescue. A fitted black shirt that even with the lack of light inside the club managed to highlight his build. You almost fainted when he locked eyes with you across the room and smiled walking all the way to you.
And youâd caught that girlâs eyes glued to him when he first entered the club and greeted you all. As soon as he took one step away from you to walk to the bar, the girl unhooked herself from your group and followed him.Â
âI wonder whatâs taking so long with the drinks," Youâre barely processing your words as they leave your mouth. As if you havenât been policing the interaction since it started.
âYeah, did heâŠâ Jennieâs voice trails out before she can finish, following the line of sight you basically burned in the air after so many stares. A small smirk flashes through her before she mumbles, âOh.â
Now thereâs four more pairs of eyes witnessing why youâre making a fool out of yourself.
âGuess he found something else to do.â Still digging your own grave, you canât stop making stupid comments.
Jennie and Nayeon exchange a look youâre too busy to catch, while you make sure your empty drink is still⊠empty. Yeah, the very interesting plastic cup in your hand. Definitely the most interesting sight you can be staring at. The cheap cocktail you thought could ease out the anxiety, and now that the little effect it had left your body, all you can do is laugh at yourself.
âWho is she anyway?â You didnât even catch her name before she jumped at the chance to get Mingyu alone.
âWe presented right after her.â Your friendâs voice barely reaches you over the loud music, and on top of that, you donât really care to know much about her anyway.
âRightâŠâ
Itâs not a big deal. What else did you expect? That he wouldnât be able to keep his hands off you like the last time you were in a club together? That youâd feel him all around you again as he felt you up with everyone watching? Stupid. You got too comfortable, took him for granted, and he got tired.
âAre you okay?â Nayeon materializes by your side, her hand on your arm steering your eyes back to her.
âHe can do whatever he wants! I really donât care.â Seeing how they can always tell whatâs going on with you, of course they read through the lines.
The other two girls you came with look confused before they dare to speak up.
âWe tried telling her that he was off limits," One says as the other confesses, âWe thought you two were together.â
The girlsâ confusion only fuels yours. You really didnât want to think about it further before, just in case, but it gets you wondering. âWâwhy would you think that?â
âWe just saw you talking after you presented," The blonde one giggles before her friend adds. âYou guys looked cute!â
How did they get to that conclusion after the simplest interaction? Were you that obviously nervous? Was the prickling of your skin visible when he stood too close by your side? Itâs become the norm for you two to act this way, the invisible skinship boundary long broken.
Deep down, you know thereâs no reason to doubt him. You want to be weary of him, find one single flaw to use as an excuse to not like him, but itâs pointless. Mingyuâs never proven to be anything other than supportive. Heâs been so patient with you, the deeper feelings for him developed almost on their own. No warning.
Even before breaking up with Jungkook, Mingyu was always present. Since that first day he found you crying, he made sure you had company, made sure you didnât get too in your head and helped you have a good time. He was there for you before you even realized you needed it.
You took him for granted for too long, and now he has a pretty girl in front of him showing clear signs of attraction, all while you get scared texting him.
You've been so stupid, so blind to what you had in front of you, that now you're losing it, seeing it disappearing from your life with your own eyes.
The charged stares you've been sparing them must've made their way into Mingyuâs sixth sense, because he finally unglues his eyes from the girl and connects them with yours. You know you have no right to be jealous, you two are nothing, just two people with a very complicated relationship.
As if he knew everything going through your mind, Mingyu smirks your way. He fucking smirks. The twist of his lips cause a chain reaction from your hanging jaw down to your insides becoming a roller coaster. You barely hear your friends saying theyâre going to the restroom, choosing to stay and challenge Mingyu.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
When he got your text inviting him out, Mingyu was sitting on the couch that had seen it all happen. Jungkook, just beside him, easily took a peek at the notification that lit up his friend's mood.
âIs that her?â
Even if theyâve resolved the bad blood between them, Mingyu couldnât help to hide the reality of his feelings from Jungkook. âYeah," He told him after replying to your text.
Mingyu could count with one hand the few times you had dared to text him first these past few weeks. Seeing your name pop up, inviting him out, was thrilling.
It's been no secret that every time Mingyu disappeared to go somewhere unannounced, he was going with you. Jungkook knew it, but it was time he encouraged it.
âDude, if you like each other, I'm not looking to get in between," Jungkook assured with his eyes back to the tv in front of them.
âIsnât it weird?â Mingyu tested the waters, checking if he was hallucinating the support.
âItâs only weird if you make it weird," Jungkook shrugged, as if it were that simple.
The situation is weird. And maybe it will always be weird.
Mingyu started making up this fantasy in his head, where, in the future, youâve finally let him in and he can love you the way you deserve. One where you can look back at the past and laugh with that blinding toothy smile of yours, with all the hurt being just a distant memory. But before you two get to that point, Mingyu will make sure nothing gets in the way of your happiness ever again. And he foolishly hopes you find it with him.
âIs she okay?â Jungkookâs question took Mingyu out of his thoughts. âIâve been thinking if I should apologize or not.â
âSheâs fine,â at that moment, Mingyu realized that maybe his best friend is better at hiding how he feels than he thought, âbut an apology wouldnât hurt.â
Having long conversations was never their strong suit, so the topic ended there, with Jungkook deep in thought and Mingyu getting up to change clothes.
Something drove him to try and be more presentable for you. The last time you two went to a club together, he almost gave up everything right then and there. Now that there are no barriers between the two of you, he wonât hold back at your advances, he wonât freeze if you dance close to him. At least that was his initial goal.
When he arrived at the club, Mingyu had to pause as soon as he saw you across the room. The smile you showed your friend after something she said illuminated the whole room, leaving nothing else in front of his eyes but you.
He greeted all your friends as politely as he could without straying his eyes off you. His hand traveled itself onto the small of your back, keeping you intoxicatingly close to him as best he could. And he didnât want to leave your side, but maybe breathing an air free of your perfume would help him think clearly, he thought.
Talking to one of the girls you were with, Mingyu partly feels bad for already forgetting her name. The overworked bartenderâs taking too long to prepare all the drinks, and he has no other choice than to entertain the girl.Â
Answering her questions gets harder and harder with the music blasting, and as she places her hand on his arm to get closer to him, Mingyu can feel the interaction being under someoneâs scrutinizing eyes.
Is this all in his head? Are you really standing with your arms crossed and the cutest frown ever on your forehead, almost killing the girl in front of him with your stare? The corner of his mouth lifts autonomously at the thought of you not liking him flirting with another person.
He hasnât seen this side of you, the jealous and slightly possessive one. And even if youâre nothing more than friends, he loves it. He loves the way you squint when you lock eyes, how you shrug when he doesnât back down. Itâs easy for him to excuse himself and walk towards you again.
At the sight of him, you turn your back on Mingyu, pretending to be dancing alone. So, he has no other choice but to stand behind you and ask in your ear. âSomething on your mind?â
Your back tenses against his chest, but you donât move away, allowing Mingyu to wrap his arms around your waist to keep you close. With your friends suddenly nowhere in sight, he interlocks your fingers while in his hold, helping you relax even if youâre still pretending to be mad.
âYou took your time.â The initially suffocating sea of people now feels protective, working like a barrier between your bodies pressed tightly together and the outside world. âHaving fun?â
âI am now," Mingyuâs lips graze the side of your face as they lit up in another smirk, growing goosebumps all across your body. âHow about you?â
Somehow, being like this doesnât feel weird. Youâve had Mingyuâs arms wrapped around you so many times now that they easily mold to your figure. There really is only one difference, one that none of you dare speak up but washes over your every interaction.
âI was thinking of going home already.â You look down at your hands tangled in one, fearing that Mingyu can notice at any time how butterflies erupt in your stomach at every word he purrs right in your ear. âNot much to do here.â
âI can take you," His choice of words halts your breath, but you remember.
Untangling Mingyuâs hands from yours, you turn around in his arms to face him, regretting instantly as soon as your eyes connect again.
âYou should stay. You looked like you were having fun.â That makes Mingyu chuckle, and an embarrassed warmness bursts inside you at the sound.
âI didnât think you were the jealous type, princess.â And you didnât think he was the type to tease you in public, but life takes you to unthinkable roads sometimes.
You scoff as an excuse to take your eyes off him for a second. âJealous, huh? Youâre funny.â
In an intent to get away from his menacingly broad body, your hands take the unconscious decision to push his chest away. But you donât have the true will to do it, or the strength. Heâs too big, too muscly for you to move, and he traps your hands against him, against the sheerest shirt ever that lets you feel every muscle tense under your touch.
âIâd like to think I can make a girl laugh sometimes.â Heâs all you can see, covering every spot in your vision with his unerasable teasing smirk.
âYeah, I saw that.â At the roll of your eyes, thereâs no denying that youâre jealous anymore. Do you really care if he knows anyway?
âOh, you did? Controlling.â
âIâm not controlling! You can do whatever you want, I wonât get in your way.â If he wants to flirt with an emotionally available girl after the infinite amount of time he waited for you, you canât stop him. Youâll take your feelings to the grave.
Something brews in Mingyuâs mind at your rebuttal. âYou wonât?â
âNo.âÂ
For the first time in forever, Mingyu willingly unclasps one of his hands from yours, âAnd if I do this?â
Mingyuâs fingers creep up your neck and get a hold of your chin, titling it up until you have no other choice but to look him in the eye. He waits for your answer, as if youâd ever say no. As soon as you nod, giving him the okay, another smirk is the only warning you get.
Your lips, meant to be pressed against his forever, part with a sigh as Mingyu's arms wrap around your waist. The world around you, with frantic music and people moving at lightspeed, fades to nothing in his embrace. You move along Mingyuâs soft lips naturally, letting your heart convey your feelings through the kiss.
The memory of that last kiss you dared give him all those days ago canât compare to this one. Thereâs no hesitation this time, no guilt restraining you from following your true desire. Nothing outside your bubble really matters as your hands travel up his chest to keep his head in place.
His hair feels soft between your fingers as you push yourselves together closer and closer. You never want anything else in life, just kissing and kissing Mingyu until your lungs give out. Itâs unfortunate that you canât.
âLet me take you home," He gasps with your lips just millimeters away.
Your stomach twists and turns with anticipation. âOkay,â barely a whisper accompanies your nod, fearing the way your voice could come out if you said more.
With his hand in yours, walking the moonlit streets in swift steps and giggles, any worries you had slip away with the wind. The feeling of his lips linger on yours every second it passes, every breath you take, every step forward until you stop at an intersection and Mingyu pulls you into him again.
The walk blends between kisses and hand squeezes to check if youâre in a dream or not. You never want to back away from his hold ever again, but as your building materializes in front of you, you're forced to take your hand off the hem of his shirt.
The elevatorâs wall hits your back as soon as the automatic doors let you in, barely giving you time to push your floorâs button before Mingyuâs over you again. His mouth takes yours with a hunger that grows every second youâre not inside your apartment. Heâs losing control, succumbing to his desires the more you show your want for him.
By some way, your tangled bodies manage to reach your door, though Mingyuâs hands refusing to stop going over your hips and waist are the challenge to overcome. Your fingers tremble trying to turn the key the right way, your nervous system focusing on the lips kissing every inch of the side of your neck he can reach and his fingers slipping underneath the fabric of your top.
As soon as you close the door behind you, the reality closes in on you. With Mingyuâs arms wrapping around your waist again, the bag you forgot you were holding dropping onto the floor with a thud, and the bright lights in your apartment making everything clear.
Mingyu notices your sudden hesitation and stands before you, worried eyes studying you, looking for any sign to tell him what's happening in your mind.
âI made you get in a fight with your best friend," Your reminder is like a dagger against the silence.
âIs that what's bothering you?â His eyes find yours and understand immediately. âWe're fine,â He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, âhe actually encouraged me to come tonight.â
Your eyes widen with hope, leaning into his touch when he doesn't retrieve his hand from the side of your face. âDid you guysââ
âWe talked,â Mingyu's voice explains so softly, one wouldn't think he was just making you gasp with that same mouth on yours, âand I told him he should apologize to you.â
Standing in the middle of your entrance hallway, you feel stupid for even bringing that up. He wouldn't be here with you if he felt guilty. He wouldn't be cupping your face in his hands, making you look up to him to find the glimmer in his eyes outshining every light source in the room.
âAnd youâre sure about this?â What âthisâ means, youâre not sure either.
âI've never been more sure about anything.â Your breath hitches at his answer, your body noticeably frozen as you look for a non-existent lie in his eyes. âMaybe we should take things slow, let you figure out what you want.â
Before he can back away from your personal space, you react. âNo, no, I want this too. I want you.â
Those words coming out of your mouth combined with your hands gripping his shirt to keep him in place quickly make Mingyu regret his previous statement. You're so close, too close to him, saying you want him with your eyes dark and wide.
Mingyuâs hands stay on you, caressing the side of your face as if he was debating whether to give in and kiss you again or do the rational thing. Yours, instead, find the first button at the end of the all too well fitting shirt Mingyuâs wearing, and start unbuttoning it one by one.
âI should take you out on a real date first," Mingyu maintains with a sigh, but not stopping you in your quest.
âI personally think,â at his unmoving body, you take a step closer, with your hands against his chest not daring to sneak under the welcoming fabric, âweâre past that, donât you think?â
For a second, Mingyu thinks youâll be able to feel the rapid beating of his heart, stronger with each second your hands lay on his chest. Rationality is losing the fight against his desire.
âJust making sure this isnât a rebound situation,â Mingyu blurts, even if he doesnât really care about it for himself. Heâd take whatever you give him.
âYou arenât a rebound. This isnât a revenge plot.â You think for a second before you continue, âYou saw me cry way too many times and were there for me at my weakest. You make me feel seen, wanted, and getting to know you has made my life better in ways I couldâve never imagined.â
Your words go through Mingyu's ears and right into his bloodstream, getting warmer and warmer the closer you get. His hands go down your body, encouraging you to move forward until your chests touch.
âI needed you even before I knew what I needed.â You can sense the tears beginning to build up, but you push through. He has to know. âI know what I want now, and itâs you.â
âIf this is a dream, I never wanna wake up,â every word Mingyu says comes with a widening smile.
You chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck with confidence, âI can assure you, it's not.â
As if you've been getting chased by your feelings all this time, putting it into words and letting it all out works, and your brain stops racing. You can finally breathe, think, see.
âSo, was that a no about the date?â As always, Mingyu manages to make you chuckle again, and it reverberates all across both your bodies. Every shiver of his, you feel, with the minimal skin to skin contact against his barely uncovered chest and the tiniest top you found to put on.
âYou can take me on a date another day. Now, I want something else.â You don't know where all this confidence is coming from, but seeing the shock in Mingyu's eyes, it only grows. âYou okay with that?â
âIâll give you anything you want.â
The space between your faces charges with electricity as you take in his words. An unconscious bite on your lower lip pulls his gaze down, egging him to close the space slowly. You almost donât register his advance, focusing on the part of his lips that were just on yours minutes ago.
Thereâs nothing more to be said, no invisible walls to tear down, only you and him and the pull between you, pushing you closer until your breaths mix. After all the obstacles you overcame, and the bumps that lead you to where you are now, thereâs no more time to waste.
When your heads meet again, your tingling lips mold against Mingyuâs for the thousandth time, worried about nothing and wanting it all. And he doesnât hold back either. His hands on your waist venture up inside your top, feeling your back tense at his touch as the fabric crumples up, leaving more of you exposed to him.
You canât hide your craving for him any longer. You follow his rhythm eagerly, making a mess of his hair between your fingers and pushing him further against you. Every touch of his makes you gasp, and he takes the opportunity to kiss down your jaw and neck. His hands and lips everywhere.
âMight as well just take this off.â Mingyuâs lips print a smirk on the sensitive skin of your neck before pulling back. You get what he means immediately as he tugs on your top, taking it off you as soon as you put your arms up.
His hands feel your chest up to his liking, getting to know the places that make you sigh into his mouth. Every touch of his fingers makes that spot light up like fire, and every sound you make encourages Mingyu more and more.
Your hands sneak under his opened shirt, feeling the firmness of his chest directly elicits a groan from Mingyu, making you shiver as you slip the fabric down his arms.
Your living room becomes a clichĂ© mess of scattered clothing before you direct the both of you to your bedroom. You barely have time to drink in Mingyuâs body before youâre falling with your back on the mattress, chest to chest again, bare against one another, free of any fabric in between.
Mingyu slots between your legs effortlessly, a low moan coming from him as his hardening length grinds softly on the crevice between your limbs. His golden skin that was the star of your every dream, finally at your reach, soft and warm under the pads of your fingers.
âGyuââ Words choke up on your throat as you feel his lips wrapping around one of your nipples.
âYou're gorgeous,â His lips against your chest makes you halt your movements, mind focused solely on him, âso pretty, only for me.â
It's almost as if he was talking to himself, but you moan at every compliment, arching your back for more of him. And he loves it. Loves the way you react to the stream of thoughts that run around his brain every time he looks at you.
âFuck!â The curse leaves you both in unison when Mingyu finds his digits against your core.
âI barely even touched you and you're already ready for me?â Mingyu feels your reaction to his words first hand as a wave of arousal hits you.
âFuck you,â you gasp and he chuckles, kissing down your torso until heâs facing your core.
âI'll take care of you, don't worry, baby.â His breath fans at your wet folds, so close to where you want him but still teasing you with his fingers.
Youâre about to fight back when you feel him teasing at your opening, his eyes entranced by how ready you are for him. All the anticipation, the tension between you from the past weeks, culminating at once at this very moment.
The slickness leaking out of you from all the kissing and groping makes it easy for him to set the pace. Mingyuâs fingers stretch your insides with expertise, as if he learned every spot of yours to touch to have you squirming.
The torturously slow thrusts of his fingers drive you crazy, curling and hitting exactly where you need them before heâs pulling back. You donât hold your sounds back, your every reaction letting Mingyu know how good he makes you feel.
âThatâs it, baby,â His low voice sets fire to the blood rushing through your veins, and your walls clamp harder around his fingers.
Your knuckles turn white as you grip the sheets below you, and Mingyuâs other hand has to hold your thighs apart so you donât close them around his head.
âMingyuâshit!â His lips leave a trail of breathy kisses on your inner thigh, trying to help you relax and take him in, but ultimately turning you on further. âGyu, wait.â
âI love that youâre calling me that.â He listens and stops thrusting, leaving his fingers to fully fit inside you.
âI need you.â Youâre not embarrassed to say what you want. Not with him.
âBut you have me?â He tries to tease, but youâre ahead of him already and immediately correct yourself.
âInside.â His fingers adjust themselves inside you, almost making you forget what you were asking for. âI need you to fuck me.â
Mingyu chuckles at your neediness, but you know he wants it just as bad. His rock hard length draws your attention as he stands up and retrieves his wet digits from you, leaking and ready to split you in half.
Thereâs a second of hesitation as he looks at you splayed on the bed, as ready for him as he is for you. You recognize the train of thought going through him and stretch your arm to open the drawer below your nightstand, where you keep condoms just in case.
Itâs sinful, the sight of Mingyu rolling down the condom as his eyes rake up and down your body. When he kneels on the mattress, fitting like a glove between your legs, it takes another kiss of his on each of your spent legs for you to realize that whatâs happening is real.
Caged between both of his arms, his hands holding his weight on both sides of your head, your legs wrap around his waist and push him inside you, at last.
His length fits inside you, opening up your walls to mold to his shape as you both moan.
Your hips collide as he hits your deepest parts. âBeing inside you is gonna kill me.â You can feel the twitching of his cock deep inside you. He paused to let you get used to his size, but the last thing you want to do is wait.
âIâm gonna kill you if you donât move.â
Youâve learned teasing him works wonders, and as soon as those words leave your lips, heâs complying with what you ask of him. âWhatever my princess wants.â
Whatever thoughts you had, they fade at the drag of his length deliciously making you his with each thrust. Deep and slow, he lets you feel everything he has to give before almost pulling out.
The skin of his back becomes the victim of your scratches, your nails digging into his tense muscles with every grind of his hips. But no matter what you do, how you touch him, how loudly you moan, his pace remains at the same torturing speed.
âRelax, baby.â A hand caresses the side of your face, and you realize youâd shut your eyes closed at the feeling of him pushing inside you.
Mingyu lowers his head, flushing your chests together again as he kisses you softly, matching the pace of his thrusts with his tongue tangling with yours. He drinks every sound you make, as they are only for him, and lowers his hand down your torso until it meets your connected cores.
Your sensitive clit feels like fire under the touch of his fingers, circling around it to help you ease up the tension. âThatâs it, baby, taking me so well.â
Everywhere he reaches becomes your new favorite place for him to touch. From your lips, down to your cunt, and all the way inside you, everywhere now has his name written. Youâre his.
The pulsing of your walls around him doesnât cease, becoming quicker and harder the more he continues with the slow pace. Your insides wait for every intoxicating thrust as if starved of him, craving everything he gives you and more.
His lips move on yours, parted and unable to work, mumbling praise you donât get to hear as every one of your senses focuses on the fire inside you threatening to burst. Mingyuâs hips falter, having trouble thrusting inside you as you tighten impossibly tighter around him.
Your vision turns white as your orgasm explodes without so much as a warning. Your legs tremble around Mingyuâs pistoning hips, thrusting endlessly searching for his release.
Mingyuâs broad body falls limp on you as his length twitches, coming inside the condom with a groan while your walls hug him tight.
You lay under him happily, a smile on your face as you stare at the ceiling. He feels warm all around you, a feeling you could get used to. Mingyu canât resist it and kisses you again. Heâll take every opportunity he can get to feel your lips on his.
âWhat's on your mind?â He asks, eyes locking in to yours as he slips out from you before attacking your lips again.
You both smile in the kiss before he stands up to discard the used condom and put his boxers back on. âJust thinking where you can take me on our date.â
He turns around with a glowing smile. âYouâre thinking about that already?â
The way he lays down on your bed with you, naturally wrapping you in his arms and pulling you to him, feels like a dream come true.
âOf course, baby, I always think ahead.â You note the way he blushes when you use that nickname on him and snuggle against him.
Listening to Mingyuâs steady breathing and heartbeat under your ear, drifting to sleep has never been easier.Â
The smell of freshly grounded coffee fills the air around the cafĂ© Mingyu picked. A cozy new place, lighted with yellowy light bulbs and with a space designated to read books you can borrow from the shelves covering the walls. It opened a few weeks ago in his neighborhood and heâs been insisting you try it out together since.
Youâve been on countless dates with him already, but you still feel nervous having him sit by your side in the booth. Still get embarrassed when he asks for a big smoothie with two straws for you both.
You donât see a future where you donât get nervous around him, but heâs always there. A future without him wouldnât be life at all. And the best thing is, Mingyu feels the same way.
âAre you sure theyâre coming?â You ask as your eyes drift to the glass door for the tenth time in the past five minutes.
âI promise they are!â Minguy takes your jaw in his fingers to make you look at him. âRemember to not say anything about the apartment. He'll as her when he's readyâ
âWhat are you talking about?â You ask, feigning cluelessness, and Mingyu chuckles before giving you a peck.
Detaching your lips is always the hardest chore. But after a few awkward instances where you let your kisses deepen in public, you both decided to control yourselves, even in a secluded booth like the one youâre currently in.
Mingyuâs eyes light up watching the street from the window youâre sitting against, and you turn around to see the people youâve been waiting for.Â
Jungkook and Cathlyn walk inside the store holding hands and with matching smiles on their faces as they greet you. How Mingyu convinced them to go out on a double date with you still astonishes you, but youâre glad everything that happened could finally be put behind you.
It was hard at first, even after Jungkook apologized to you, you didnât dare go inside their apartment for months until Mingyu moved in with you a few weeks ago.
As soon as they sit in front of you, the plan youâve been scheming starts. Your eyes lock with Mingyuâs and he instantly realizes what you're about to do, but not even his hand squeezing your thigh under the table can stop you. âSo, Jungkook, what are you going to do now that you live in the apartment alone?â
note: it's finally here!!!
thank you all for being so excited this past month and for reading this monster of a fic i somehow came up with.
if you reached the end, just know that i love you, and i'd love to hear your thoughts <3
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don't tease â kmg 18+
youâre both fresh off your solo stages. the makeup room door is locked now. and heâs already got your skirt bunched around your hips.
pairing: idol!kim mingyu x idol!reader (exes)
genre: idol au, exes with benefits, angst, smut · jealousy, toxic but addictive
rating: 18+ (explicit content â sexual themes, rough sex, jealousy, possessiveness, profanity)
synopsis: you and kim mingyu dated once â quietly, desperately, secretly. but when his group blew up, the relationship didnât survive the spotlight. now youâre both idols. both single. both pretending to be fine. except youâre not. because every time you see him, he looks at you like you still belong to him. every time you smile at another idol, he corners you after. every time you try to move on, he fucks you like heâs trying to remind your body who it answers to.
itâs not love anymore. but itâs not over either.
and when heâs inside you backstage, whispering, âthought you liked it when other idols flirt with you? huh? use your words,â you remember exactly why you still havenât let him go.
-
the makeup room smells like setting spray, sweat, and something faintly floral. probably the perfume mist still clinging to your skin. your heels click softly against the tile floor as you adjust your top, tugging at the zipper behind your back with fingers that wonât stop shaking.
your solo stage ended twenty minutes ago. the adrenaline still hasnât faded.
neither has the memory of his stare from across the venue.
he didnât say anything when you passed backstage. just watched you with that unreadable look, the one that still makes your heart clench in ways you swore youâd buried months ago.
and now, the door creaks open.
you donât turn around.
not until you hear it. the soft click of the lock.
"you wore that for him, didnât you?"
mingyuâs voice is low. flat. careful.
you finally look up from the mirror. your reflection stares back, eyes rimmed with leftover shimmer and too much history.
"excuse me?"
he steps closer. heâs still in stagewear, the jacket unzipped, black tank beneath clinging to sweat and sharp angles. his chain glints when he tilts his head.
"jungkook. the one who couldnât stop staring at you during rehearsals."
you scoff. "he said i had good vocals. you wanna start a war over that?"
"donât act innocent. you smiled."
"i smile at everyone."
"not like that."
heâs closer now. too close. you smell his cologne. his breath. the ghost of every time heâs whispered your name into your skin.
"donât tell me youâre jealous," you murmur, even though your pulse is screaming.
his eyes drop to your lips.
"you think iâm not allowed to be?"
he grabs your waist. spins you. your back hits the vanity and his mouth is on yours.
itâs not sweet. it never is. not with mingyu.
his kiss is all teeth and tongue, his hands already sliding up your thighs, dragging your skirt high like heâs done this a thousand timesâbecause he has. you remember every time. your body never forgot.
"thought you liked it when other idols flirt with you? huh? use your words."
you gasp as he shoves your panties to the side. fingers slide through heat and wet.
"mingyuâfuckâ"
he groans, low and mean. "youâre soaked. you let him see you in this dress knowing damn well youâre still mine?"
"we broke up."
"you broke us."
he frees himself, cock already hard, and lifts you effortlessly onto the counter.
"then stop coming back," you whisper.
"then stop letting me in."
he thrusts in one slow, brutal motion. you cry out, hands scrambling for balance, eyes wide as he fills you all the way.
"say it," he pants against your mouth. "say youâre still mine."
"fuckâmingyuâiâmâ"
"say it."
"iâm yours."
he fucks you like he never let you go. deep, rough, desperate. like the months without you were starvation.
your body responds before your mind can. clenching around him, thighs trembling, hands gripping the edges of the vanity like theyâre the only things keeping you upright.
heâs everywhereâpressed to your chest, teeth on your neck, panting against your cheek.
"no one else gets to touch you like this," he growls, each thrust harder than the last. "youâre mine. always have been."
you whimper, head falling back, lips parting on a broken moan. he hits that spotâdeep and punishingâand your legs start to shake.
"thatâs it," he mutters, voice breathless but cocky. "so fuckin' pretty when you fall apart."
his hand sneaks between your bodies, thumb finding your clit, rubbing fast and messy circles. your body jolts. you cry out again, louder this time.
"mingyuâiâmâpleaseâ"
"come for me. right here. want everyone to know who makes you like this."
and you do. with a choked sob, your orgasm crashes into you hard. white-hot. relentless. you clench around him and he groans like heâs unraveling.
"fuck, babyâ"
he thrusts a few more times, shallow and frantic, before he comes with a curse buried in your neck. you feel itâthe heat of it, the way his whole body stiffens, the tremble in his arms as he tries not to collapse.
he doesnât pull out right away.
just breathes. heavy. forehead pressed to yours, hand still resting on your thigh like he canât let go.
you donât know how long it lasts.
long enough to fall apart twice. long enough to forget what month it is. long enough for him to hold you against the mirror, forehead to forehead, both of you breathing like you just finished performing again.
he cleans you up without a word.
pulls your dress down. fixes the zipper. wipes under your eyes with his thumb like itâs instinct.
"you okay?"
you nod, voice gone.
he brushes a kiss to your forehead. lingers.
"i missed you," he says. itâs so quiet you almost donât hear it.
-
you sit on the couch now. legs crossed. skirt rumpled. he sits beside you, elbows on his knees, hands clasped like heâs holding a prayer heâll never say out loud.
"why do you always come back?"
he doesnât answer at first.
"because i never left," he finally says. "i still watch every one of your performances. still search your name every morning. still keep your shampoo in my shower even though itâs been empty for months."
your throat tightens.
"then why didnât you fight for me?"
"because i thought letting you go was protecting you."
"it wasnât."
he looks at you then. really looks. eyes full of every ounce of regret heâs been hiding behind stage smiles and fanservice.
"i know."
you stand at the door. hand on the knob. heart on the line.
he doesnât move. doesnât beg.
but his voice breaks when he says, "if youâre gonna walk away, donât tease."
you pause.
then you let go of the handle.
and turn back around.
"iâm not."
authors note: pls comment and give me ur opinions! requests are open anonymously!
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Yandere fic recommendations (Jungkook)
ââââ
â10 secondsâ by @deepdarkdelights
Read the whole series!!
âChampagne confettiâ by @pennyellee
Part 2 âSide bâ
âTempted sinâ by gottagogo07 (on Wattpad)
Itâs a series
âNowhereâ by @aajjks
âTeethâ by @joonberriess
âDarling.â by @aris-ink
âDo I wanna knowâ by @joonberriess
âVisionsâ by @trivia-yandere
âRomantic dreamsâ by @kooktrash
âI canât stop youâ by @jeonggukieverse
âCode of conductâ by @go1denjeon
Every month I re-read the whole series. Make sure to check it out itâs really good!
âViceversaâ by @sombreboy
âMetamorphosisâ by @explicit-tae
Part 2 here
âTaking over youâ by @go1denjeon
Itâs a series
âOne way or anotherâ by @explicit-tae
Part 2 here
âDonât blame meâ by @ctrlsht
âSeat of powerâ by @ctrlsht
Itâs a series
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The Bathroom lesson (m)

synopsis. His jealousy got you ending up getting fucked raw in the bathroom.
warnings: 18+ ĂšxplĂŻcĂŻt smĂșt, sĂšx, ĂșnprĂłtĂšctĂšd sĂšx, prĂłfĂ nĂty, jÚà lĂłĂșsy, rĂČĂșgh sĂšx, Ă ngry sĂšx, dĂșbĂĂČĂșs cĂłnsĂšnt, yĂĄndĂšrĂš Ă nd degrĂĄdtĂĂČn, bĂĄthróóm sĂšx.
note. Wrap it before you tap it. Also, consent is the most important thing in the world. BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS BECAUSE THIS IS KIND OF DARK AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND REMEMBER THAT THIS IS ONLY FICTION BUT READ YOUR OWN RISK BECAUSE THIS HAS A LOT OF TRIGGERING THEMES. Anyways, enjoy.
âąâąâą
The school hallway is always crowded, but you donât really care.
Because your days are always are shitty at school because of one fucking person.. you look around and you see him, as unfortunate as you are, you feel his eyes on you even if you try to avoid the eye contact.
But heâs always looking.
Jungkook leans casually against the wall, eyes flicking toward you every few seconds.
His jaw tightens whenever he sees you talking, laughing, or even glancing at anyone else.
To most, Jungkookâs sharp words and rough attitude come off as just bullying, but underneath, thereâs something else something heâs too scared to admit, even to himself.
Of course he is an asshole, but people donât care about it.
You try to ignore him, as usual.
His insults sting less these days because youâve gotten used to the pattern: heâs mean to keep you at a distance.
You donât know why, but thereâs a vulnerability behind his words, something raw and desperate that breaks through the surface when heâs with you.
Today is worse.
Youâre standing by your locker, chatting with a guy everyone calls the ânerdâ a kid with glasses so thick they magnify his eyes, and a shy smile that somehow makes him even more endearing.
Jungkook notices the two of you and something inside him snaps.
His heart pounds in a way that makes his fists clench involuntarily.
Without thinking, he storms over. âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing, huh?â
His voice is low, dangerously close, and dripping with venom.
You turn, startled, the nerd is shrinking back.
Jungkookâs eyes burn with jealousy, but he masks it with anger. âYou seriously think you can just hang around him? Whatâs wrong with you?â
You open your mouth to reply, but before you can say anything, Jungkook grabs your arm, pulling you toward the girlsâ bathroom.
âFuck, youâre such a pain in the ass,â he spits, pacing like a caged animal.
âBut I canât stand it when you talk to some loser like heâs the fucking king. Youâre mine, or at least, you should be.â
Your breath catches. This isnât just bullying anymore.
Itâs raw emotion, tangled with frustration and something painfully close to fear.
This motherfuckâ
âIâm not yours,â you say quietly, trying to steady your voice. âWhy do you have to be so mean to me, Jungkook? Whatâs going on?â
The bathroom door slams shut, the sound echoing in the sudden silence.
Jungkook's hand remains wrapped tightly around your arm, his fingers digging into your skin with a possessiveness that makes your heart race.
He spins you around to face him, his eyes dark and intense as they bore into yours. âYou think you can just ignore me, huh?â
he growls, his voice low and dangerous. âFlirting with that nerd like he's somehow better than me?â
âI wasn't flirting,â you protest, trying to pull your arm free from his grip.
But Jungkook holds on tighter, his other hand coming up to grip your chin, forcing you to look at him.
âDon't fucking lie to me,â he snarls, his breath hot against your face.
âI saw the way you were looking at him. Like he was something special.â
âYou're hurting me,â you gasp, trying to push him away. But Jungkook is stronger, his body pressing against yours until your back hits the cool tile of the bathroom wall.
âGood,â he whispers, his lips brushing against your ear.
âMaybe then you'll remember who you belong to.â
His hand slides down your body, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist before gripping your hip possessively.
You can feel the heat of his touch even through your clothes, sending shivers down your spine.
âIâm horny yn. And itâs all because of you.â
Your eyes widen, youâre so taken back by his confession because heâs such a shameless jerk.
âI'm not yours,â you breathe, even as your body betrays you, arching into his touch.
âYou can't just claim me like some kind of possession.â
âWatch me,â Jungkook growls, his hand sliding lower, palming your ass through your jeans.
Oh ohâŠ
âYou've been driving me crazy for weeks now, flaunting yourself around like you don't know what you do to me.â
His other hand slides up your body, cupping your breast through your shirt.
You gasp at the sudden contact, your nipple hardening beneath his palm.
âYou fucking tease,â he murmurs, rolling your nipple between his fingers.
âWalking around in those little skirts, bending over every chance you get. Did you think I wouldn't notice?â
His mouth crashes against yours, his tongue forcing its way past your lips as he kisses you with a ferocity that steals your breath.
You try to push him away, but your hands only end up tangled in his hair, holding him closer.
Jungkook's hand slides under your shirt, his fingers skimming over your bare skin.
You shiver at his touch, your body betraying your desire even as you try to fight it.
âFuck,â he groans against your mouth, his hips grinding against yours. âI can feel how much you want this. How much you want me.â
He tugs at your shirt, pulling it over your head and tossing it aside.
His hands immediately go to your bra, unhooking it with practiced ease.
You try to cover yourself, but Jungkook grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.
âDon't,â he commands, his eyes dark with lust. âLet me look at you.â
You shake your head, tears stinging your eyes. âYou fuckin suck,â you whisper, even as your body screams for his touch. âI fuckin hate you....â
âYouâre so fuckin gorgeousâŠâ he looks at you like youâre the most gorgeous woman in the world and for a moment your heart softens but then you remember what kind of an asshole he really is but he seems to not care.
He looks too far gone.
And he ignores your insults, his mouth latching onto your nipple, sucking hard enough to make you cry out.
His hand slides into your jeans, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing in tight circles.
âYou're so fucking wet,â he groans, his voice muffled against your breast. âSo fucking ready for me.â
He tugs at your skirt, pulling it down your legs along with your panties.
You kick them off, left in nothing but your socks and shoes.
Jungkook takes a step back, his eyes raking over your naked body with a hunger that makes your stomach clench.
He reaches down, palming himself through his jeans.
âSee what you do to me?â he growls, undoing his pants and pulling out his hard cock.
âYou drive me fucking crazy.â
He steps forward, his cock pressing against your stomach as he leans in to kiss you again.
You turn your head away, tears streaming down your face.
âPlease,â you beg, your voice breaking. âDon't do this.â
But Jungkook doesn't listen, his hand gripping your thigh and hiking your leg up around his waist.
You can feel the head of his cock pressing against your entrance, the heat of him scorching your skin.
âJungkook, fckâŠ,â you whimper, even as your body opens for him, welcoming the stretch of his thickness inside you.
He pushes forward, his cock sliding into you with a low groan. You cry out at the sudden intrusion, your walls clenching around him.
âFuck,â he hisses, his hips driving forward, burying himself to the hilt inside you. âYou're so fucking tight.â
He starts to move, his thrusts hard and deep, each one pushing you further up the wall.
You try to push him away, but he's too strong, his hands gripping your hips as he fucks you harder.
âNghh fck⊠fuck.â
âPlease,â you whimper, tears streaming down your face. âFuck.â
But Jungkook doesn't stop, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he chases his pleasure. âTake it,â he growls, pounding into you harder.
âTake my cock like the little slut you are.â
You cry out, the pain mingling with a dark pleasure that makes you want to scream.
Jungkook's hand slides between your legs, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing in tight circles.
âCome on baby,â he groans, his voice strained. "Come on my cock."
You shake your head, trying to hold back the wave of pleasure threatening to crash over you.
But Jungkook's fingers are relentless, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
âFuck,â he groans, his thrusts becoming faster and harder. âI'm gonna come. Fuck, I'm gonna come inside you.â
You cry out, your orgasm hitting you like a freight train. Your walls clench around Jungkook's cock, milking him as he spills inside you with a loud groan.
He collapses against you, his face buried in your neck as he catches his breath. You stand there, trembling crying as he pulls out of you.
âFuck,â he whispers, stepping back and tucking himself back into his pants. âThat was... fuck.â
He looks at you, his eyes softening for a moment before hardening again. âDon't ever forget who you belong to," he warns, his voice cold.â
âOr next time won't be so gentle.â
But then he looks at you and, his gaze softens, and, he picks up your shirt from the floor, as you protest, he pushes it over your head and makes sure that you wear it.
Similarly, he begins to help you with your skirt, but then you see a devilish mark on his face.
âWaitâ my panties! Give them to me.â
He laughs, âHell nah, those are mine. Just like you are. You see I like to keep a souvenir so we both remember this moment forever..â
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CURRENT BOYFRIEND â JJK



the one where you're the ultimate little prankster and your boyfriend doesn't find you very funny
PAIRING toxic au [ rich ! jk x brat gf ! reader ]
GENRE fluff & smut i think [ mdni / 1.3k ]
CONTENT based on this ask, can be read as a standalone, oc does the 'my current bf' tiktok trend on jk and he does not likey, mutually possessive red flag couple btw, cursing, sexual language, brief overview of oc getting absolutely fawked raw at the end, yet another one of my couples makes a sex tape, is god trying to tell me something
A/N hello my angels⊠this is my formal apology for lying about the toxic 5 drop đ i'm saur sorry omfg but she's still on her way, i promise!!!! love you <3
youâre laying in your boyfriendâs bed after a long day, his body curled around you from behind, eyes closed and sleepy after a shower and a couple rounds. tiktokâs open on low volume, your phone resting against the pillow as you scroll aimlessly.
jungkookâs warm chest is pressed to your back, arm draped over your waist, face tucked into your neck like a big baby while he rests in your scent. every so often you giggle at a video you find particularly funny, lifting a hand to scratch his messy hair when he kisses your throat at the sound.
before you both decide to turn in, you take it upon yourself to initiate your little prank, oh so sneakily opening your camera app. âbaby,â you whisper sweetly as you start the recording, âweâre gonna do this cute tiktok trend livi sent me.â
he just hums, doesnât open his eyes. you lift a hand to pat his warm cheek, then tilt your head and kiss it. your eyes flick to the camera, nose scrunching at how hot you two look together.
but then you notice your nippleâs kinda poking out of your bra from when he lazily shoved it back up earlier after sucking on them for a little. oop. you adjust it slightly, aim the camera a bit higher, and keep the recording going.
âhiiii guys,â you bite your lip to stop from laughing at how stupid you sound, âtoday my current boyfriend and i are going to do the âguess what iâm thinkingâ challenge-â
you feel him tense behind you before his eyes even open. in the reflection of the screen, his expression is puzzled, but then he blinks and realises youâre filming. so you quickly go into salvage mode, chucking the phone down on the blanket and pretending to struggle.
âoh, fuck.. i donât- what, um, let me restart, sorry baby-â
jungkook shifts behind you, a frown now forming on his pretty face. âthe fuck,â he mumbles, pulling back slightly. âwhat?â
you shake your head quickly. âbaby, i accidentally- i donât know what that was, uh... i think i saw something earlier⊠let me just-â
you reach for the phone, but he instanly covers it with his bigger hand. you glance down and see itâs still recording, very pleased and still trying to bite back a giggle.
âcurrent boyfriend?â he repeats incredulously, moving to sit up properly now. the blanket slides down his big, yummy torso, and you almost bite your lip at the delicious sight before remembering the task at hand.
âbaby, no, i didnât- uh- i-â you pull your best fake stutter, and god, it even sounds fake to your ears... but somebody hand you your fucking oscar, because your boyfriend doesnât seem to recognise that right now.
âcurrent boyfriend.â he laughs under his breath. a low, dark kind of laugh, a delectable mixture of amusement and anger.
he reaches for the phone to delete the video, and thatâs when you all but launch forward, grabbing it first and leaning back out of his reach. youâre just trying to keep it recording, but your furious man interprets the action as you attempting to hide your phone from him. and now, heâs fucking pissed.
his jaw locks. ây/n,â he says like he doesnt know your passcode and the passwords to all your socials. âgive me your phone.â
you pout, shake your head, turn slightly away from him. you can feel him fuming behind you while you try not to laugh, the edge of the camera still catching his hard face as he glares.
he presses his chest to your back again and reaches for the phone once more causing you to squeal and switch hands, hanging it off the bed like a menace.
âno baby!!! youâre not going through my phone! i just misspoke-â
âi wasnât even going to,â jungkook spits, scoffing as he grabs your bare stomach and easily drags you right back into his grasp. âbut now i fucking am.â
heâs still cussing behind you while you wiggle and giggle like a lunatic, stretching as far as possible with your arm off the bed. he grabs your wrist and now youâre both wrestling, your ass grinding against his very much now-present dick through his briefs while you cling stubbornly to the device.
âgive it to me,â he growls. âgive me the phone before i fucking smash it, y/n.â
you canât stop laughing. you know heâs mad - like mad mad - because even when you turn in a last ditch attempt to distraact him by smushing your lips together (which always works...) he barely lets your tongue slide into his mouth for half a second before pulling away. oh how rude.
he flips you onto your back with a scoff and snatches the phone from your hand like its a loaded gun. you grunt into the mattress as you flop over, hair a mess, bralette twisted and boob nearly out again.
he sits back against the headboard with the phone, about to scroll through it like a sexy psycho.
and you know thereâs no fucking way you can get it back from him. his strength is fucked. and when heâs mad? unearthly fucked. so you try your final card⊠because if he deletes it, your entire struggle was for nothing!
âwait, baby!â you cry. âwait, tigerlily!!â
your boyfriend freezes instantly, thumb hovering over the X button before his head turns to you in confusion. youâve had sex one thousand and fifty-seven times, and youâve only used your safe word once before.
you exhale when you see the video still intact. âit was a prank, baby...â you say, voice soft as you crawl into his lap.
your bralette is still misaligned, giving him a full show, but youâre too focused on defusing the nuke in his hand. âdonât delete it, pleasee baby. i wanna watch it back. you were so sexy, my love...â
he just shakes his head at you slowly, tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek while you gently pull the phone from his grip. once you see itâs still recording, you grin happily and climb over to prop it up against the bedside lamp so youâre both in frame.
then you mount his big, beefy body again, hands sliding up his warm chest. âor...â you whisper sultrily, leaning down to rub your nose against his pretty one, âwe could take the video in a different direction?â
his hands come to your ass, gripping both cheeks over your little panties with those inky hands. heâs pulling you against his now half hard length - honestly, jungkookâs default state whenever you guys are in bed - and his eyes havenât left yours. theyâre still searching, still confirming whether or not he believes you.
you hum and brush your pouty lips down his jaw, letting them trail to his neck as your big bratty eyes flit to the camera. âcan show them how good my current boyfriend fucks mââ
you donât quite get to finish your sentence.
your forever boyfriend has you on your back instantly, panties torn off like wrapping paper, his black briefs shoved down just enough to reveal your forever cock.
you grin merrily through the hard fucking in missionary, through the getting flipped onto your tummy and both asscheeks spanked raw while drilled doggystyle, through the cumming twice on his dick before he makes you beg him for his load, punching your abused g-spot with every snap of his big hips.
when he barks at you to tell him who the fuck this pussy belongs to, you cry out his name with a capital J. when he orders you to tell him who the fuck he is - and because you are nothing if not a little brat - you cry out my fucking husband...
you relish in the loud grunt he lets out at your words, savour the hot cum he instantly paints your inner walls with, moan in dazed delight as your greedy pussy sucks up the reward she so desperately yearns for.
and best of all, the recording stays on for the entire thing.
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CLARITY [K.MG]

Mingyu doesn't want to pay you any mind. To him, you're just another girl that'll get her heart broken by his dumb best friend.
Why would he care, right? He shouldn't care about the crying sounds he hears from his bedroom when his friend stands you up for the girl he's actually in love with. And he shouldn't be getting close to you. He shouldn't dread the day his friend decides to end things with you and bring someone else home. He shouldn't be wishing to have met you first.
pairing: mingyu x f!reader (with a side of bad bf!jungkook)
word count: 30,2k (lmaooo)
genre: bf's best friend mingyu, (awkward) acquaintances to lovers, the other side of the f2l trope, angst, smut, you could say there's a drizzle of fluff
content warnings: emotional cheating, tsundere mingyu at first, too much crying, self-manipulating, moral dilemmas, jealousy, possessiveness, alcohol consumption, denial (tons), one minor injury, mention of blood, a love triangle?, sexual tension, inappropriate things happen between mc and mingyu, petnames: babe, baby, princess (hers) | explicit smut, teasing, body worship, praise, marking, protected penetration, it's love making guys
đ§: mine â ive, breathing â nct dream, knew you â kailee morgue, begin again (taylor's version) â taylor swift, i wanna tell u â lexie liu
a big thank you to tiya @gyubakeries and ro @shinysobi for reading this over and telling me it doesn't suck ⥠and rae @nerdycheol for supporting my simp and pathetic men agenda âĄ
THIS FIC IS FOR +18 READERS ONLY! I can't control what people read, but I can control who interacts with my blog. MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WILL BE BLOCKED.
disclaimer: i didn't want to make any svt member the asshole so i made him jungkook, but i love jungkook he's literally my bias in bts and my forever ult so please just remember that this is a work of fiction and it doesn't represent how he is in real life nor how i view him (it pained me writing him this way you have no idea kdjfgnrjeskgf). i also didn't proofread the last two scenes iÂżm sawrry
last note: there are several pov switches throughout the whole fic, because it just went where it wanted, I had no control over it, it was the fic i swear.
check out my main masterlist ⥠dividers used: heartbeat, paper texture (banner)
i hope you enjoy! i'd love to read your thoughts :)
âAre you sure I wonât bother him?"Â
Youâve blocked Jungkookâs hand from opening the door to his shared apartment, forcing him to look at your pleading eyes.Â
âBabe, itâs not the first time youâve come to watch a movie, he doesnât mind, stop worrying.âÂ
âItâs just... he always locks himself up in his room when I come over. Maybe he doesnât want to get to know me.â You whisper, in fear the door doesnât muffle the sounds from outside and heâs standing just by the entrance.Â
The few times youâve crossed paths with your boyfriendâs roommate, he barely said hi before sprinting out of whatever room you were in. Sure, your relationship with Jungkook is fairly new, and you donât expect to become friendly with his circle of friends so quickly. But if his closest friend wonât pay you any mind then how are you supposed to get along?Â
âHe does that to give us privacy, I promise it has nothing to do with you.â Jungkook doesnât notice the coldness you're sure his friend exhibits towards you, as he has been that way every time he brought a new girl to their home. Jungkook attributes it to his friend simply giving him some space, to not make everything awkward by being the third wheel. âHe wanted to watch a movie, and he said it was cool when I told him you were coming over.âÂ
A deep breath leaves your lungs at his confirmation, even if itâs already the tenth time youâve asked the same question and got the same answer.
Inside the apartment, Mingyu sits manspreading on the couch, phone in his hand and headphones at the maximum not-deafening volume. Jungkookâs still in his fairytale phase, that time at the beginning of a relationship when he still tries to introduce his new partner to aspects of his life, in which Mingyu is included. Thatâs the only reason he accepted his friendâs insistent plea to hang out with you both tonight. And when a hand shakes his shoulder lightly, he knows itâs his Jungkook with his new catch of the semester.Â
You sit on the other end of the couch, as far as possible from Mingyuâs motionless body, still unsure on where you stand with him. Neither of you make the effort to talk to the other while Jungkook goes to his bedroom to change. You donât want to bother him and make him have a reason to dislike you, and Mingyu notices your nervousness, but prefers not to do anything about it.Â
Mingyu has learned to not try hard to get to know Jungkookâs fleeting girlfriends, because no matter how nice or how pretty you are, in a matter of weeks, he knows his friend will find something to complain about and eventually use as an excuse to break things off. Itâs a never-ending cycle, and he learned he canât do anything to stop it.Â
âWhat are we watching?âÂ
Jungkookâs loud voice breaks the ice beginning to build up in the living room, and quickly sits down between Mingyu and you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. He doesnât seem to notice the ignoring contest going on, chatting with Mingyu like the other man wasnât just dead silent.Â
After discovering youâve never seen Rocky, a few gasps from Jungkook and a lot of convincing later, the movie starts playing on the screen in front of you. You didnât actually care what they chose, just happy to spend some time with your boyfriend, even if youâre not alone.Â
Mingyu knows the movie from beginning to end and backwards, could even recite the dialogues if asked, not because he particularly likes it, but because Jungkook somehow always convinces the girls he brings to their home to endure it.Â
He used to argue with him about the reputation he built of being a heartbreaker, but Jungkook doesnât see it that way. To him, heâs just trying to find the one in an endless quest that never fulfills him the way he thinks a relationship should. But Mingyu knows Jungkook well, and the real reason why he canât last in a relationship for longer than a few months is clear as day, but Jungkookâs blind to it.Â
You pretend to focus on the storyline, Rockyâs growth journey that Jungkook was so excited about, while he comments on his favorite parts. Itâs not a movie youâd pick if you were alone or with your friends, too manly for your taste, and the romance aspect is too shallow, but Jungkookâs perspective and insightful comments are making you appreciate it more.Â
Tears begin forming on the corners of your eyes as the final fight progresses, your throat closing up in warning as the rounds pass and Rocky gets beaten up by his opponent. No matter the genre, movies always make you cry during the final act as the protagonist reaches the goal after struggling so much.
After the referee separates both opponents, tying at the 14th round, the public demands a rematch, but Rockyâs more preoccupied to look for the woman he loves. You try to sniffle quietly, no longer being able to put a stop to your weeping, and snuggle against Jungkookâs chest, just as his phone rings, receiving a call from Cathlyn.Â
From the corner of his eye, Mingyu notices the whole interaction, and he almost gets shocked by Jungkook blankly rejecting the call in an instant and putting his attention back on the screen. How didnât Jungkook notice youâve been loudly sobbing for the past fifteen minutes is beyond him. But the shock lasts less than two seconds, as Jungkook's phone rings again and he gets up from the couch, heading to the kitchen with his phone in his hand and his thumb already opening Cathlynâs text conversation.
You know Cathlyn has been your boyfriendâs best friend since high-school, and became inseparable since then. You even came to meet her a few times. Sheâs funny, nice and outgoing, effortlessly being the center of attention.
The living room gets cold again after Jungkook goes to the other room, and itâs too obvious that Mingyu just doesnât have any interest in engaging in small talk with you. Your last sniffles echo against the walls, and the sigh Mingyu lets out almost sounds louder in the sea of dense silence.Â
Another sniffle from you and a tired sigh from him, Mingyu gets up to go after his friend who doesnât seem to be coming back to the couch soon enough. He leaves a pack of tissues in front of you without sparing you a glance, and just walks past the couch.Â
"Dude, donât just leave me alone with her.â You donât mean to eavesdrop on their conversation. You really donât. But the sound carries. And it just proves that Mingyu clearly doesnât like you. âSheâs your date, not mine.âÂ
âSorry bro, Cathy was calling me nonstop. I thought something had happened.â Not necessarily true, as she called only once and Mingyu's aware of it. âShe wants to go out tonight, clear her head a bit.âÂ
âI donât care what Cathlyn wants. Your girlfriend was crying and you just left her there.â Itâs almost like he was defending you, but something in his tone suggests that it isnât about you specifically. You blow your nose one more time, and the sound echoes into the kitchen. âListen, sheâs still crying like a baby, go with her bro.âÂ
Last words you hear before heavy steps begin and get closer and closer to the living room couch until the man sits by your side.Â
âSorry babe, I know movies always get you emotional.â Jungkook apologizes sweetly, even if thereâs something else in his mind.Â
âItâs okay.â The sun setting behind the windows draws your attention away from your boyfriend. âI should get going. Itâs getting late and I promised my roommate weâd go out for dinner.âÂ
Lame excuse, but youâre aware youâre not wanted at the apartment anymore by half the people living under that roof, and it really is too late.Â
Jungkook nods, unbeknownst to the uncomfortable situation he's a part of, and grabs your coat as you get up from the couch. You turn back, smiling to Mingyu coming out of the kitchen as a form of goodbye, but he just nods and sits back down.Â
âWe're going out later, and Cathyâs paying, you wanna come? Itâs a bar close to here.â Jungkook naively asks as he walks you to the door. He might be genuine with his invitation, but youâre not sure.Â
âI told you I have an important meeting for the congress tomorrow morning, I can't go out."Â
Jungkook hasnât proven himself as someone with the best memory out there. Youâve had to remind him of important stuff a few times already. The key is to just take a deep breath and not let it stir up any anger within you, because thatâs just how he is.Â
âOh, I thought it was on Sunday.â Jungkook asks just as Mingyu walks past the end of the hallway into his bedroom and shuts the door.Â
Even he knows about your meeting, because you told Jungkook last time you were there, and even if he locks himself up in his room, the walls might as well be made of paper the way he can always hear your conversations.Â
âTomorrow is Sunday.â You note as you chuckle lightly.Â
âOh, shit. Then I guess Iâll see you when you're done.â He gives you a sweet kiss for the first time in the day, light and fleeting like a feather, and closes the door after you take a few steps towards the elevator.Â
Nayeon closes her macbook suddenly, done with all the work you have been doing since the early morning, ready to take a deserved break. âSo? How was the hot date last night?â She rests her chin on the palm of her hand, ready for whatever gossip youâre willing to share.
âIt wasn't hot.â Your eyes donât leave your notebook, in an intent to work on ideas to make the presentation more interesting.Â
âYouâre so secretive! Câmon, tell your best friends forever and ever what you did!â She insists, making you chuckle as you see your other friend mirroring her from the corner of your eye.
Your pen drops from your hand onto the table as you finally look at them. âIt was just a movie night with his asshole roommate.â
âThe hot one?â Jennie intercepts, now more interested than before.
âI don't know Jen, his only roommate.â You try to go back to your notes but your friendsâ unrelenting stares make it impossible to concentrate. âAnd how do you even know him? Iâd never seen him before meeting Jungkook.â
âItâs âcause youâre too cool for campus gossip,â Jennie takes the chance to poke fun at your lack of knowledge of basically anyone, âbut everyone knows Jungkook and Mingyu.â They both giggle at their mention.
âBe serious, we're not in high school.â You deadpan, but deep down you know nothing really changes from high-school to college. The drama remains the same, just with a few years added to the people involved. âThereâs no such thing as the popular guys.â
When you were younger, the different cliques that formed were crucial to what the experience was going to be for the years to come. And you used to live for the gossip. You always knew the latest fight or the newest couple before anyone else. It felt important at that time and it kept you entertained. But as you grew older, got into college and met new people, meaningless gossip lost its interest, your focus now on passing your classes, meeting new friends, and having the best contacts to move forward with your career.
Sure, you knew of a Jungkook, as your best friends are up to date with the gossip and like it or not, you end up hearing everything even if you donât know the people theyâre talking about. But before he approached you at a party, you had no real idea who he was. Itâs true that when you first saw your boyfriend at that party, he caught your attention immediately, and itâs undeniable that if you had seen him before, you wouldâve been caught in his spell like every other girl on campus.
âWhat I mean is that people take notice when two hot guys hang out everyday.â Nayeon points it out like itâs the most common thing in the world. And maybe it is. âTheyâre like candy to the eye, too sweet, unapproachable, but nice to see nevertheless.â
You donât forget to roll your eyes before replying. âMingyuâs still an asshole. He never talks to me! Iâm sure he curses at me in his head every time I show up at their apartment.â
âHe seems so serious all the time.â Nayeon adds, having your back. âHeâs probably a stem major or something like that.â
âHeâs always hunched over his computer, so he probably is.â You note, eyes returning to your notebook so you can keep working on the presentation and be done with the topic.
âI once tried talking to him at a party, but he just looked me dead in the eye and said he wasnât interested.â Jennieâs stare gets lost to the view out the window as she remembers. âI barely told him my name.â
Nayeon and you exchange looks before erupting into laughter.
âYou guys are so mean!â Jennie complains, but joins to laugh with you two.
âHey, at least he had the decency to tell you that and not lead you on.â Jennie shrugs, not really hurt as she has already forgotten that cursed interaction. âHe barely says hi to me before sprinting out of my sight.â
âHe doesnât really talk to many people except that group of friends they have. Itâs not personal, he's just a little anti-social.â Nayeon puts her two cents in. âJust let him be an asshole if he wants to be one!â
âI shouldnât let him occupy that much space in my mind.â You nod at them and they both nod back in agreement. âIâm dating his best friend, heâs going to have to accept it.â
Nayeon and Jennie exchange looks, raising their eyebrows at your words before going back to you.
You have a vague idea what they meant by that, but you still ask, incredulously. âWhat?â
âNothing!â They say in unison.
They tried several times to enlighten you about Jungkookâs âreputationâ, as they called it, but you prefer to get to know him on your own and not have your judgement clouded beforehand. Rumors are just that, rumors.
âLook,â with your hands slapped on the table, you order their attention, âI know you guys donât really like that Iâm dating him,â you observe, âbut I promise, Itâs fine! Heâs really nice and I think he really likes me.â
âItâs not that.â Jennie says at the same time as Nayeon exclaims, âIâm sure he does!â
âWe already told you, he usually dates for a few months before breaking up all of the sudden.â Jennie continues, paraphrasing every warning they already gave you. âWeâll have your back with whatever you want to do, just be careful.â
âI wonât let a tattooed man who I've only been dating for a couple of weeks break my heart.â At least you think you're stronger than that.
âAm I an asshole if I tell you to just not get your hopes up?â Nayeon asks, and if it was any other person, you'd get mad, but only because it's her and she just lacks tact sometimes, you let it slide.
âYes! You are!â You chuckle, knowing sheâs just looking out for you. âThank you guys for worrying about me. Now, I think we should shorten the introduction a little bit. Everyone there already knows who Durkheim is, we don't need to explain his whole biography.â
The notes you've been taking all day stare back at you, now more of a bunch of senseless scribbles than useful annotations.
âUgh! Back to work already?â Jennieâs body falls limp on her chair, not ready for more hours of brainstorming and not reaching any goals.
âThe professor wants to hear the whole thing tomorrow, we can't show up with anything less than a perfect speech.â You insist, opening Nayeon's macbook again against her will.
âDo you promise to tell us any good gossip about those friends of his, in aboutâŠâ she looks at her empty wrist, pretending there's a watch there, âtwo hours? We'll work diligently until then.â
A deep sigh leaves you with a barely there smile you try to hide. âFine. Two hours, and then we can take a real break.â
The waitress carries two pieces of cake and the biggest strawberry smoothie youâve ever seen in your life, heading to your table. The size of the cup brings out chuckles from both Jungkook and you, but as soon as it gets placed between you on the table, the two straws draw your attention, and Jungkook asks the waitress for another smaller chocolate smoothie.Â
âYou can have that all for yourself babe, I know how much you love strawberries.âÂ
You donât admit that you were excited for the corny romantic moment of sharing a smoothie with two straws, appreciating that he at least remembered your love for berries.Â
Jungkookâs phone keeps vibrating with notifications, which he reads but doesnât respond to, trying his best to focus on whatever youâre telling him. His mind is anywhere but the diner where you decided to have an afternoon snack, battling between answering Cathlynâs worrying texts and listening to the ideas you gave for the presentation youâre doing with your friends in front of various colleges soon.Â
In the middle of your story is when you realize Jungkook hasnât said a word, his eyes lost to the much more interesting brown swirls on the wooden table.Â
âIs everything okay?â Heâs been noticeably distracted lately, getting lost in thought more often, taking longer to reply to your texts. You attribute it to the time of the year, as heâs busier at work and with his studies, and so are you. But even if he says heâs fine, youâre beginning to worry.Â
âYeah babe, sorry, just a little tired.â His lips line up in a tight smile in an attempt to reassure you. âDo you mind hanging out at my apartment after weâre done eating?âÂ
Scraping your plans to catch an afternoon movie, you hum and nod before returning to eating your piece of cake, seemingly disguising your disappointment since he doesnât ask any more questions.Â
Jungkook leaves his plate exactly the way the server left it for him, the piece of chocolate cake with not even a particle less, his fork unused and clean on the side. He gulps down his new personal smoothie in a second, and as soon as the last piece of your cake is entering your mouth, heâs asking the waitress for the bill. He knows youâre still talking to him, he can see your lips moving, but your words enter one ear and leave through the other, having no meaning in his mind.Â
Jungkook pays without asking for your share, which you werenât even going to argue with him about. Youâre usually a heavy supporter of each person paying for what they ordered, but as the minutes pass by, itâs becoming harder and harder to not get mad at him, so youâre going to spend his money without feeling bad about it. You know you should ask him about it, but shouldnât he tell you if something was wrong? Especially after youâve already asked him? Between being a pushover and pretending nothingâs happening, you end up choosing to just spend the rest of the afternoon with him and hope heâll just tell you the truth.Â
The walk to his apartment is less than 10 minutes long, but every dreaded step drags heavily, making everything move slower, with the both of you in silence, and the incessant notifications blowing up his phone acting as a remainder of his true priority.Â
Jungkookâs trying to ignore the constant ping coming out of the pocket of his jeans, pretending he isnât dying to just answer who keeps trying to contact him.Â
And you have a vague idea of who it could possibly be.Â
The cold apartment doesnât feel welcoming as you enter through the door, lights off and deadly silent. Excusing yourself to the bathroom, you tiptoe around as if in fear. Your reflection in the mirror looks unmistakably disappointed and sad, and you wonder if Jungkook really didnât notice or just didnât care.Â
He can be charming and gentle when he wants to, always so polite and respectful, but the ability to be aware of your feelings may be something he could work on. Or at least understand that the things he does ultimately affect you too.Â
In the kitchen, heâs already forgotten his one rule for the date, and is carefully answering every message he got, the glasses of water he was filling for the both of you forgotten on the counter.Â
When he hears you come out to the living room, Jungkook rushes to sit with you, with a plan already in mind.Â
âBabe, will you get mad if I go for a bit?â His fingers trace lines on your forearm, and you begin to lean into him before your brain registers his words.Â
âWhat? Why?â You ask as your eyes search for any type of clue on his face.
âCathy called me,â he takes a second to think about the best words to use, âshe had a fight with her boyfriend, and I have to be there for her.âÂ
Jungkook never liked Cathlyn's boyfriends. Something about them always feels off about them, as if none of them are ever right for his best friend. In his eyes, he just wants the best for her, someone who'll really be able to care for Cathlyn in the way he thinks she deserves.Â
âOh, I hope sheâs okay.â Deep down, you wonder if it really is so serious that Jungkook feels obligated to stand you up. But itâs fair, she needs her best friend when sheâs having a bad time. The fact that her best friend is your boyfriend is a coincidence you canât be mad about.Â
âIâll be back before dinner and Iâll make it up to you, okay?â Heâs already standing up, his arms on both of your sides as he crouches to give you a quick peck goodbye.Â
The door closes shut before you can even utter a reply, and his steps echo on the hallway, getting further away every second, until youâre left in complete silence.Â
In the quietness of the apartment, you instantly feel out of place, unwelcomed by the inanimate objects surrounding you. Seconds turn into minutes, the ticking of the clock being the only sense of time you have left. You donât want to grab your phone, avoiding the inevitable feeling of disappointment thatâll take over you if there are no texts from Jungkook waiting in your notifications.
How stupid is what youâre doing? How desperate? Waiting for your boyfriend to come back from the home of the woman that seems to be his priority? You know you shouldnât be feeling this way, especially since he's already told you that sheâs just his best friend. But itâs still hard.Â
The back of your eyes burn as tears threaten to come out, blurring your vision just as you hear a key turn, heavy steps entering the home youâre not supposed to be in.Â
 â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Mingyu knew he'd find you at his apartment. Â
Jungkook texted him that he had an emergency and had to leave in a rush. And Mingyu knows what âemergencyâ really means in that context. It means Jungkook rushed over to Cathlyn's at the first sign that she was feeling off, and he wanted to hide it from him so he wouldnât have to hear the same reprimand again.Â
What Mingyu didnât expect was to find you on the verge of crying on his couch, scattering to find any form of tissue paper somewhere inside your bag.Â
You both freeze, looking at each other for about half a second before rushing to greet. You pretend you werenât crying, and he acts as if he didnât notice. Mingyu utters a quiet hello as you mumble some kind of apology for being there, and then he locks up in his bedroom as usual.Â
His friend put him in an awkward situation once again. Mingyu doesnât want to get to know you more than he already does. He knows you're on a different major and thatâs enough, because one day, in the near future, itâs going to be another girl walking through the door instead of you, and heâll never see you again.
He tried a few times to stay friendly, but no one really wants to stay in contact with someone so close to the man that broke their heart. And he gets it. That's why he stopped trying all together.Â
Mingyu would usually come home from work, put on his headphones, and spend a few hours on his computer until his stomach urges him to eat something. But for this particular afternoon heâs been put in, he skips the headphones in case you need something, or at least until Jungkook comes back, which he isnât even sure is going to happen.Â
A project for work distracts him for a good while, organizing different stats and numbers on the excel sheet his boss sent him earlier in the day. He almost forgets youâre on the other side of the wall. Almost.Â
If he loses his focus on his computer screen, he can hear when you move around on the couch. What can you possibly be doing? Is what he asks himself at any noise that reaches his ears, but thereâs never an answer. Until something alerts him that youâre not doing well. The same sniffle he heard days ago as you were watching a movie with Jungkook echoes against the walls of his bedroom.
Youâve been trying hard not to make any sounds that may disturb Mingyu, as you assumed he was busy by the way you could hear the non-stop clicking of his keyboard from where you were sitting. But your mind seemed to have other plans, so much so that you lost control of the cascade of tears brimming from your eyes.Â
In between everything, you miss the sound of a door opening and steps getting closer to you. Mingyu comes into view as youâre wiping away tears with the back of your hand, and you canât pretend he didnât see you this time.Â
He sits by your side in silence, mainly because he doesnât know what to say, but also because he canât just leave you alone in this state. He feels responsible in a way.
âIs he withâŠâ Are the first words that come out of his mouth after seconds of dead silence.Â
âHe didnât tell you?â You look up at him to find him staring into the wall. He shakes his head, glancing at your slightly blotchy face before looking down.Â
âHe just told me you'd be here, but I figured.â Your body relaxes the tiniest bit. Good, at least youâre not an unannounced guest.Â
âShe had a fight with her boyfriend.â You explain, more frustrated than understanding.Â
âRight.â He simply replies.Â
Both of you sit there, fixed on your spots, too aware of the other. Mingyu realizes youâve stopped crying, maybe because you donât want to cry in front of him, but at least your breaths became less deep than before.Â
A growl from your stomach reverberates through the room, and you flush in embarrassment.Â
âYou canââ he coughs before continuing, âyouâre here often, you can help yourself if youâre hungry, itâs no big deal.âÂ
âOh, thank you,â you chuckle, trying to conceal the humiliation, âbut he said he didnât have anything. Thatâs why we went out. And I canât really cook, so.âÂ
Never in the past weeks would you have thought youâd be sharing embarrassing details about you with your boyfriendâs cold roommate, but life has a funny way of turning things around.Â
âIâm sure thatâs not true. Thereâs no way you canât do the basics.â His body turns, now facing you as he takes an interest in your not so fun fact.Â
âIâm not lying! I canât even make scrambled eggs.â You hide your face behind your hands, and you immediately hear Mingyu laughing as the dent beside you on the couch disappears.Â
âCâmon, Iâll teach you. I happen to be a great cook.â Your stomach growls again, and Mingyu looks back at you as he walks towards his kitchen, leaving you no choice but to follow him.Â
Mingyuâs not thinking about this exchange with you too much.
Yes, heâs doing exactly what he promised himself he wouldnât, as this will inevitably make you both closer and he will not be able to turn back to his cold self again. But he couldnât just go on with his day knowing you were having a bad one, and even worse, knowing you were crying because of his friend.
He had to do something, and if that something is becoming your friend for the afternoon, then so be it.
âGrab the egg carton with his name on it.â You chuckle as you follow his instructions, âand his milk too, why not.â If he left you stranded, the least you can do to get back at him is use his stuff and not Mingyuâs.Â
Between laughs and Mingyu indicating instructions like he was teaching a 5-year-old to cook, time passes, you forget why you were at the apartment in the first place, and you end up with a fine plate of scrambled eggs that doesn't taste bad at all.Â
âI told you it wasnât that hard.â Mingyu sits in front of you on the rounded table as you share the food.Â
âWell, Iâll let you know if your teaching lasts until I have to cook alone.â You chuckle and avoid his stare, realizing your words sounded much friendlier than you intended.Â
Back in the living room, Mingyuâs ringtone disrupts your conversation, and his sigh alerts you that he might already know whoâs calling. He gets up with another sigh, throwing you a knowing look before going to answer Jungkookâs call.Â
You appreciate his effort to make you feel better, and when he doesnât ask Jungkook any questions over the phone, only replying with yeahs and okays to whatever heâs telling him, you understand that Jungkookâs not coming back, and whatever heâs telling Mingyu will just make you feel worse.Â
Before Mingyu comes back, you do the dishes that you used and get your stuff together. The decision to leave has already been made.Â
âLeaving already?â He appears at the entrance to the kitchen, leaning on the edge of the door like a statue.Â
âI know heâs not coming back. Iâm sorry, I shouldâve left earlier, I didnât mean to be a bother.â Itâs the first time youâve addressed that feeling you have that you constantly bother him, and itâs kind of freeing.Â
âYouâre not a bother.â A man of few words, Mingyu feels like he meant a lot more with that simple statement than just dismissing your apology.Â
His blank reply doesnât feel forced, not like he only said what you wanted to hear. No. He said it automatically, not thinking much about it, and it took a heavy load off your shoulders.Â
âStill, I shouldââ Youâre now standing right in front of him, looking up at his face as he doesnât realize heâs in your way.Â
âRight, sorry.â Mingyu rushes to get out of your way, stumbling against his own feet as he walks backwards to go get his keys. âDo you need a ride? I couldââÂ
âOh, thank you, but itâs okay. Iâm meeting a friend at a restaurant close by.â A warmness spreads on your cheeks at his offer. âDo you happen to know which way to go? Itâs supposed to be a few blocks from here.âÂ
To redirect his attention away from you, you show him the address of the restaurant on your phone screen. You frequent the neighborhood on a weekly basis, but the blocks tend to mix up, as the buildings look too similar to each other. Mingyu scratches the back of his neck, trying to remember the names of the streets around his place.Â
âI think itâs three blocks to the right, and then two to the left.â He doesnât sound very convinced, but you trust youâd be able to tell if heâs sending you the wrong way, so you take his word.Â
Even after denying him, Mingyu still accompanies you downstairs, and you politely say goodbye to each other at the entrance before separating.Â
The sun sets on the horizon, the golden hue painting the streets beautifully as you walk. âThird block to the right, then turn left,â you mentally repeat, trying to concentrate on the directions as well as you try to find a street sign that'll tell you if youâre going the right way.Â
As you reach the second block to the left, where Mingyu implied the restaurant should be at, your phone vibrates inside your purse. The unknown caller doesnât give up while you contemplate whether to pick up or let it go to voice-mail, but something in the back of your mind urges you to answer. So you do.Â
âWho is this?â In case that another telemarketer got a hold of your phone number, you try to sound annoyed.Â
âItâs Mingyu, sorry,â his deep voice sounds the tiniest bit robotic due to the poor service, âI realized I sent you the wrong way. You have to turn right instead of left.âÂ
âOh,â you chuckle as your eyes read the street number youâre at, âthank you.â You donât tell him you couldâve figured it out on your own, a tiny smile appearing on your face at his gesture.Â
âI shouldâve warned you that Iâm terrible with directions.â His breathy chuckle reaches your ear at the same time as a metal ruffling sound. Was he heading out to find you in case you didnât pick up?Â
âNo worries.â Your mind is blank, as the two things youâre most awkward at doing are getting combined in one: phone calls and talking to Mingyu. âHow did you get my number?âÂ
âI asked Jungkook for it just now.â That feels weird for some reason, but you toss that feeling away, trying not to overthink about it. âYou okay?âÂ
âYep! Heading that way now! Thank you! Bye.â You abruptly hang up on him, the only way you thought to end the awkward conversation.Â
Your heart rate escalates, pumping hard like itâs about to beat out of your chest as you go the correct way now. Whatever you do, your mind still manages to replay what just happened over and over again, until youâre standing in front of the restaurant hostess.
Walking towards the table you see Nayeon sitting at, the idea of Mingyu having your number saved makes the back of your neck tingle with nervousness, and you can't shake the feeling even as you greet your friend and she starts telling you about her day.
Maybe youâre giving it way too much thought. Itâs just the excitement of finally feeling like youâre growing closer to your boyfriendâs friends. Nothing more.
There's been a noticeable shift in the awkwardness of your âfriendship" with Mingyu. You didnât become best friends overnight, but at least he stopped fleeting away from you anytime you'd be over at their apartment, and wouldnât deliberately choose the spot furthest from you at any group gathering.Â
As you and Jungkook step out of his car and walk over to the front door for the costume party a classmate of his was throwing, you can only take a deep breath and hope your extroverted self appears after a few drinks, and that Mingyu doesnât decide he hates you again, because heâll be the only other person you know at the party.Â
Not much of a partier yourself, youâre just trying, for him. Trying to join your boyfriend in what he likes, especially after he showed interest in you being there with him by inviting you.Â
The loud music can be heard even with the door closed, and Jungkook texts his friend to come pick them up, because ringing the bell clearly wonât do anything.Â
âHi man! Sorry for making you both wait.â A tall blonde man who youâre sure is named Jackson welcomes you in, giving Jungkook a man hug before looking you up and down and asking. âWhat did you guys come as?âÂ
âIâm a firefighter dude! And sheâs...â Jungkook looks at you waiting for your answer, not even trying to remember the name of the character youâre dressed up as.
âMavis, from Hotel Transylvania!â You smile as Jackson finally lets you in, and you can see in his expression that he has no idea who youâre talking about when you walk past him.Â
As soon as you cross the door, it is a relief to find Jungkookâs whole friend group there, sitting occupying the entire couch for themselves, only one big body missing from the ensemble.Â
Jungkook only takes his hand off you to greet his friends one by one, and makes them promise to save you seats while you go to the kitchen to find something to drink.
It hasnât been long since the party started, but the crowded house is already filled with that dense air mixed with the smell of sweat, and the sticky bodies make it harder for you two to advance into the kitchen.
Part of you is relieved that Mingyuâs nowhere to be seen, if heâs even at the party. Sure, youâre getting along now, but being around him is still stiff and awkward. Maybe you can use this opportunity to try and get close to Jungkookâs other friends.Â
Sitting between him and other two strangers that squeezed themselves on the far end of the couch, that plan is quickly scrapped. Itâs possible Jungkook doesnât realize youâre too far away to be included in any conversation, he wouldnât do it on purpose, but you have no will to tell him. Not when his body is fully turned away from you as he talks to Cathlyn and the guy she's dating, Yugyeom.
The music's too loud for their voices to travel backwards and let you hear, but judging by Jungkookâs menacing body next to yours, he doesn't seem to be liking the conversation. He didn't talk much about Yugyeom, that name being new to you as Jungkookâs hadn't even mentioned him before. And from what you know, he and Cathlyn have been having some problems for the past few weeks, so it's normal for her best friend to dislike him.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Mingyu thinks of himself as somewhat of a good friend. Sure, he may have some faults and he fucks up every now and then, as everyone does, but whenever his friends need him, heâs there. He covers for Jungkook at school, listens to his girl problems as any friend would do, hates whoever he hates, and heâd never break that friendship over any random girl. That said, heâs still a man, and he has eyes.Â
When he comes back from the patio after catching up with some old friends he bumped into, he first lays eyes on the striking yellow costume Jungkookâs wearing. But as he follows the bright color, he sees you sitting by his friend's side, his arm wrapped around you but giving you no attention as you drink from an almost empty cup.Â
It's no surprise to him that Jungkook's too enthusiastically talking with Cathlyn instead of any other friend, or instead of dancing and enjoying the party. What shocks Mingyu is how blatantly heâs ignoring you, sitting so pretty by his side.Â
Yeah, Mingyu can admit he finds you pretty. He might be a good friend, but heâs not blind, and denying it would just make him stupid. Any guy with a brain should be lining up for a chance to talk to you, getting lucky to be the ones you spare a glance to. Instead, youâre sitting with an arm around you and being ignored by its owner. It could be that heâs gulping down his fourth drink already, but he might even go as far as saying youâre his type. But thatâs about as far as it could possibly go. Youâre pretty, nice, and in love with his best friend. Well, maybe not in love yet, but you like him enough to put up with his shit. And Mingyuâs not interested. He canât be.
A smile forces itself on your face as your eyes catch his across the room. The most polite way to acknowledge his presence without trying to interact with him further.
Mingyu nods your way and drives his eyes elsewhere. Itâs not like he wanted you to do anything else, and even if he wanted to go up and chat with you, he couldnât have fit in between you and the people on your other side crushing your free arm.Â
So, he stays there, standing against a wall on the only free hallway âin which there arenât any people because Jackson threatened anyone who dared to step within a two feet radius of his bedroom, watching the scene progress before his eyes.
Where his friend has a reputation of being a heartthrob, a player, or a heartbreaker, Mingyuâs always thought of as Jungkookâs serious and mean friend. A bad school reputation is the least of his priorities, and he doesnât care to change how people he doesnât care about think of him. Itâs not like heâs not enjoying the party, he just prefers to stand alone and drink. If that paints him as a boring guy, so be it. He tries scanning the room to find a friend to catch up with, but it's pointless, only the bright yellow costume makes itself visible.Â
It's mostly a blur of bodies messily dancing to 2000âs pop songs inside that room, but Mingyu could recognize his best friend's silhouette if he was miles away and 90% blind. Your costume contrasts with Jungkook's in a way that even drunk Mingyu realizes itâs you who's being dragged onto the âdancefloor".Â
He sees you get loose as his friend's hands wrap around your waist and move your bodies in sync. It seems that every single light in the house is on despite it being a party, and youâre in the center of his line of sight, constantly and too easily catching his attention.Â
What he doesnât see, however, are your constant complaints about dancing, appearing as flirty whispers to anyone who wasn't listening. And after he takes his eyes off of you two to find a glass of cold water, youâre back again to your original place on the couch, this time with much more space around you.Â
âNot much of a dancer?â His feet directed Mingyu to where you sat almost instinctively. Thereâs finally room to sit down so heâs going to take the opportunity before somebody else does.Â
âOnly when Iâm in the mood.â Your stareâs lost somewhere in the room, paying attention to your drunk boyfriend dancing with his best friend.Â
âI see.â You both sit awkwardly, body facing front and eyes focused on the same view.Â
âCool costume, by the way. I love Hotel Transylvania.â Mingyu manages to fill in the gaps of the heavy silence.Â
âThank you! Youâre the only one that recognized me.â A small smile appears despite your bad mood.Â
âPeople here lack basic culture.â A simple joke followed by awkward laughs from the both of you, the atmosphere doesnât help to ease the tension of your interaction.Â
âI wanted Jungkook to dress up as Johnny.â You have to stretch your neck to Mingyuâs side so he can hear you above the loud music.Â
âThat wouldâve been cute.â Mingyu doesnât know what else to say. Itâs been a common occurrence for him to go blank when talking to you.Â
âI guess heâs not a fan of matching costumes.â You try your best to continue the conversation, not really caring whether heâs interested or not. The little alcohol in your system wonât let you fall on an awkward silence again.Â
âHe probably got tired of them after so many years.âÂ
You freeze.Â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
Mingyu realizes he just fucked up. All those drinks he had before you came, and that one after, finally brought him to the stage where his mouth gets loose and he starts blurring out things he shouldnât.Â
âUhâ, I mean, Cathlyn used to force him to do it for halloween.â Force.Â
For the record, Mingyu's not a liar. He might be loyal to his friend, not wanting to put him in bad situations, but heâs not going to go above and beyond to protect an already weak relationship. So, he picks a word thatâs going to save Jungkookâs ass, but still saying part of the truth.Â
âRight.â If you caught on to his deliberate choice of words, you donât show it to him.Â
 â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Itâs pointless to get mad at your boyfriend for such a meaningless piece of information. Every relationship is different, and you shouldnât be comparing yours to a much older one. Their bondâs just different! It doesnât have anything to do with you if Jungkook didnât want to do stupid matching costumes.Â
Still, youâre glad Mingyu slipped and gave away the truth, and you appreciate his effort to make it sound less bad.Â
Jungkook gives you no time to ponder on what to do though, as he stumbles his way back to you, so drunk he canât regulate his strength and falls hard on the couch.Â
âMy heead hit the back of the c-couch with my head.â Jungkook pouts and slurs his words.Â
âOw, baby, youâre really drunk.â Mingyuâs eyes pierce through your back, and a wave of self-consciousness takes over you. âShould we go home?âÂ
Jungkookâs cheeks feel warm in your hands as you try to get him to look at you, but his drunk mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time, and for the time being, his eyes are focused on Yugyeomâs hands groping Cathlyn's ass shamelessly as they dance.Â
âI donât feel so good.â He only says, his drunk stare having a hard time straying away from that scene as he gets up and stumbles his way out the house.
Mingyu runs after Jungkook just behind you, and manages to catch him before he faceplants on the damp grass outside.Â
âWhere did we leave my car?â Jungkook asks no one in particular, disoriented from his almost-fall. âWait, youâre not my girlfriend!â His eyes go wide as he realizes who was helping him and tries to escape.Â
âIâm here, babe.â Before he manages to, you wrap your arm around his other shoulder, leaving him no choice but to be embraced by yours and Mingyuâs hold so he doesnât hurt himself again.Â
Now that youâre outside, with no music blasting at full volume, no people around pushing you constantly, and breathing fresh air, youâre too aware of your surroundings. Or more specifically, how Mingyuâs arm and yours touch behind Jungkookâs back.Â
It's a weird way to break the ice of skin to skin contact in a friendship, but maybe itâs what you need to end the lingering awkwardness that surrounds your interactions once and for all.Â
âI saw you drinking.â You scold Mingyu after you two lay Jungkook down on the back seat and he turns to find his way back to his car.Â
âIâm not drunk anymore.â He mutters just before he trips with his own foot. âOkay. Iâll crash on the back seat for a while and then Iâll go home.âÂ
âIâll drive you.â Mingyu's silence as he thinks of a polite way to turn your offer down only eggs you further. âIâm going there anyways.âÂ
âI-I wouldnât want to take advantage.â He fiddles with his keys, avoiding your eyes.Â
âOf what? Me? His car?â Mingyu hesitates, the gears in his brain visibly turning.
âI donât know.â Itâs quiet, his response, and no matter how cute and defenseless he looks when heâs drunk, you donât really have time to wait.Â
âIâm offering.â You deadpan, but try to flash a small smile so his drunk brain doesnât understand your hurriedness as anger. âYouâre clearly still drunk, câmon, donât make me have to drag you.â
Realizing thereâs no way out of this other than listening to you, Mingyu caves in and gets on the passenger seat of Jungkookâs car. âYou wouldnât be able to drag me anyways.âÂ
Of course, you can't push an over six-foot-tall gym bro even if you use all possible bodily strength you have. "Hell yeah I can!â Your teasing stare meets his, and you know he got what he wanted by pushing your buttons.Â
"Iâd love to see you try.âÂ
An indescribable feeling completely shuts down the workings of every organ inside you. It could be what he said, but itâs just a common phrase to tease a friend. It could be his eyes that refuse to leave yours. Or it could be the silver of a smirk that appears as you hold your breath. Whatever it is, you push it down, hide it on the very back of your mind and put up ten walls to disguise as a simple and normal response to teasing.
âWe should-âÂ
âI donât like him.â The drunken backseat passenger you had forgotten about interrupts you.Â
âWho?â The distraction allows you to break eye contact with Mingyu. A believable excuse to put a stop to whatever was happening.
âThat guy she was with.â Jungkook looks like heâs talking to himself, his eyes closed as if he wanted to fall asleep and unaware of who he's actually talking to.Â
âCathlyn? Her boyfriend?â Mingyu intercepts so you wouldnât have to ask the awkward questions, already knowing where this conversationâs going. âYugyeom?â
âUgh, don't say his name.â Mingyuâs instinct tells him to see your reaction, to check if you realize what Jungkook means by all of this, and especially if it hurts you. âHe has a douchebag face.â
You chuckle at his pouty statement, but deep down his words pierce a surface cut on your denying heart. Itâs gone as fast as it came, but it was there, and your hands automatically started the car, urging you to start driving like nothing happened.
Ever since the evening started, Mingyu knew Jungkook wasn't going to have a good time. Not since opening the door to the bar that revealed Yugyeom there with Cathlyn.
âWhy is he here?â Jungkook muttered under his breath, annoyed, on the verge of being angry.
âShe's allowed to invite her boyfriend. Just like you invited your girlfriend.â Is all Mingyu replied.
Jungkook has been in his life ever since he can remember. When their first tooth fell out, when they schemed behind their parents to figure out if Santa was real, when he got his first bicycle and Jungkook laughed in his face when he fell and scraped his knee, when they met Cathlyn in high school and Jungkookâs eyes shined brighter than ever, when they went to prom and lost their virginities on the same night, and when they got accepted to the same college and joined the same classes. Every memory Mingyu has, itâs always Jungkook by his side. He can't mess with that peace, no matter how violently he wants to tell his friend to stop playing with girlsâ hearts and realize heâll be much happier if he owned up to his true feelings.
So, he resorts to trying to make Jungkook connect the dots himself by telling him harsh enough truths. Itâs a work in progress.
In the few hours youâve all been at the barâs pool table, Mingyu hasnât said a word. He's been sitting alone at one table on the side, seeing his friends sucking at playing and actually having fun.
With the excuse of being tired and simply enjoying watching each round, he took the opportunity to be temporarily invisible. With all of them busy, he can look at you all he wants, smile to himself when you miss your shot, and pretend to be drinking from his half empty glass.
Thereâs not much more he can do. Whatever he thinks he feels, whatever he thinks of you, itâs wrong. Thatâs why, at that moment, he prefers the loneliness of his table. The crude reality punishing him in real time is enough.
Doesnât matter if youâre on the same team as Jungkook or not, your attention is always focused on him. You search for his touch, his eyes, crave his attention on you. But the more drunk his friend gets, the more competitive he gets, and the little patience he had with your lack of pool skills is quickly dissipating.
Another round finishes, with the both of you losing to Cathlyn and Yugyeom again, and itâs more than obvious that Jungkookâs annoyed. When your opponents excuse themselves to the bar to get more drinks, you try playing on your own and see an opportunity to try and get Jungkook in a good mood again.
âI swear I know where to hit it! My arms just wonât cooperate.â A chuckle escapes during your lighthearted shout.
Jungkook sighs at your missed shot, your pout having no effect as heâs trying to conceal his annoyance. âWhich one are you thinking?â He only asks.
âThe red one, close to the middle?â You point to it, waiting for any reaction, but he just waits for you to continue. âIf I hit it a little to the right, I think it can go inside the left corner hole.â Bodily coordination may not be your strong suit, but youâve played enough online pool that your brainâs trained to draw the imaginary angles.
The main idea was telling Jungkook your theory, him realizing you actually have an idea of how to play the game, and finally teaching you how to get a hold of the cue stick correctly.
âYou have to do it like this.â Jungkook takes the cue from your hands and takes your place, ushering you to the side to watch as he takes the shot. âYour index and middle fingers serve to place the tip of the stick where you want it.â
âBut I-â You were right, and the ball enters exactly where you said it would, but you canât chant victory. Not when his attention shifts to a heated argument just meters away from you.
In the second it takes you to focus on whatâs happening, your eyes land on Yugyeom stomping out of the bar, a crying Cathlyn left behind. You donât even have to check if Jungkookâs still by your side, as he soon enough appears with an arm around her shoulders in an intent to console her.
When he starts getting the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and heads to walk out the door, you realize the comforting session wonât be quick. But why would it be? His best friend just had a screaming fight with her boyfriend in public. It makes total sense that heâd want to take her out to have some fresh air and a little more privacy than inside the full bar.
âIf I knew the night would be like this, I wouldâve stayed home resting for next week.â Your body falls on the chair next to where Mingyuâs been sitting in silence. His flat expression rapidly makes you uncomfortable, like you just crossed a line. âShit, theyâre your friends, Iâm sorry, I shouldnât havââ
âNo, youâre right.â He interrupts you, with a tone that implies you must've taken the words right out of him. âI get having troubles, God knows I've seen them go through stuff, but we're allowed to be tired of it.â
Between his cold exterior and sometimes unfriendly choice of words, Mingyu's surprisingly capable of understanding other people's feelings.
âHas this been happening a lot recently?â You don't care to sound like a gossip. âHer fighting with her boyfriend, I mean.â
Mingyu sighs, eyes wandering to the door through which both of his friends just stepped out of. âLetâs just say, itâs been a regular occurrence.â
âWell, letâs not let other peopleâs problems ruin the fun.â You decide out loud. Youâve been having fun since you got here, regardless of your boyfriendâs bad mood, and youâre not going to let anything ruin your last night out before the busy week you have ahead. âDo you want another drink?â You down the last sip of what Jungkook was drinking.
âOh, actually, Iâm saving to pay for gas for the trip we have next week. I promised to drive, so.â Mingyu explains, too apologetic for simply refusing a drink. âYouâre coming right? Itâs a congress that our collegeâs doing.â
âOf course Iâm coming,â maybe you should be offended that he doesnât know, but itâs not his fault, âIâm the one giving the presentation.â
âWait, seriously?â Mingyuâs eyes go wide, in slight shock as well as in embarrassment. âI knew you had a big thing coming up, but I didnât think it was that! How did I not know?â
âMaybe Jungkook forgot to tell you. You know how he isâŠâ Mingyu nods at your statement, but the answer brewing in his mind gets cut short by the glass door opening once again.
As if he was summoned, Jungkook re enters the bar alone, quickly lets you know he'll wait outside for Cathlyn's uber with her, and leaves again without sparing you another glance.
Silence fills the void between Mingyu and you, only murmurs from the people around the bar manage to make it not unbearable. Awkward again, you never seem to have a normal conversation with Mingyu without feeling some type of way. Jungkook interrupting seemingly added a layer of tension very hard to dissipate.
âIâm gonna⊠practice playing.â You arenât the best at handling awkward silences, so you stand up with that excuse. âIâm so bad at it! I think the stick does the opposite of what I want on purpose.â
Mingyu chuckles behind you, following you to the pool table to watch up close. âYouâre not that bad.â You look at him dead in the eyes, head tilting to the side with scepticism. âIâve been watching you play! You just need to learn how to get into position correctly.â
Your arms cross in front of your chest, deciding if what Mingyuâs saying is in any way true, or if heâs just trying to make you feel better. He takes the cue laying on the table, accidentally knocking a few balls away from their places in the process.
âShow me how youâd do it.â As he hands the pool stick to you, warm smile and standing tall facing you, you feel secure he wonât tease you if youâre awful.
âOkay, but donât you dare mock me.â The lighthearted threat makes him chuckle again, and your fingers tremble grabbing the stick from his hand. âThis is my usual.â
You mentally cringe at yourself, but you push through it and lean your chest forward, hovering over the table, setting the tip of the stick between your fingers and analyzing which ball to hit.
âI see where things might go wrong.â His voice sounds closer with each word, but it's not enough to prepare you to feel his chest against your back, his arms embracing you to guide your hand where he wants to. âYour handâs too close to the end of the stick. Youâre not in full control of it.â
When he places his hand over yours, helping you slide it up the cue, youâre sure your whole bodyâs covered in goosebumps. Your heart accelerates to unimaginable speeds, about to jump out of your chest as Mingyuâs breath fans on the back of your neck.
âI think we can get the blue striped one,â your mouth blurts out faster than your brain can think, âIf I manage to hit the white a little to the left, I can go right and push it into the middle hole.â You try to play off the unprecedented effects Mingyu has over you, forcing yourself to get your mind back in game mode.
He doesnât let go of his hold on your hand, his arm grazing yours even more closely. âAre you sure? That one seems like a long shot.â You can hear his smirk through his teasing words.
âJust help me hit it there.â Your head turns just barely to the side, finding his face much closer than you imagined, and your eyes roll before going back to the table, trying to mask the blush you feel creeping on your cheeks. âI know Iâm right.â
âRelax a bit. Itâs close to the hole, so you don't need to hit it too hard.â Mingyu extends his other arm over the table, helping you position the tip to hit exactly where you told him to. You don't dare move, his cheek brushing against your temple freezing you in place momentarily.
When you feel his hands tighten over yours, taking control of the stick with your fingers tangling with his, your arms fall limp, letting him shoot the shot. With the tiniest push, the barest tense of his muscles all around you, both your arms move the cue forward and hit the white ball.
The both of you smile as the striped ball falls in the hole you said it would, relaxing against one another before realizing just how close you really are.
âI told you, I was right.â You chuckle away from him, using cue in your hands as a barrier.
âIâm sorry I ever doubted your skills.â Maybe itâs the drink he was stalling to finish until you approached him, but Mingyuâs more relaxed with you tonight, a little more prone to smiling than usual.
âBabe?â But Jungkookâs voice quickly wipes it off his face. âLetâs get going, wait for me outside.â
âWait!â You get off Jungkookâs hold, almost offended that he thinks he can drag you away at his will. âI was finally getting a hang of it. Mingyuâs a better teacher than you, you know.â You try to joke to ease the suddenly tense atmosphere, but it doesnât work.
âIâm really tired, babe. And I promised Iâd take you home, so, please?â Jungkook retorts, face turned your way, but his eyes are on his roommate.
The staring contest between the two men doesnât stop, an indecipherable friction you donât really want to find out the meaning behind.
âOâŠkay,â there isnât really an out where the three of you will be happy, so you just accept Jungkookâs petition to leave, âbye Mingyu.â
You walk away, your hand in the air wishing for Jungkook to take it and come after you.
Mingyu begins to grab his stuff, assuming the both of you will be quickly out the door by the time heâs done paying his tab, but it seems the night is not over for him yet.
Jungkook grabs him by the arm and turns him around so theyâre face to face. âWhat do you think youâre doing?â
âWhat the hell man?â Mingyu shoves the otherâs hand away, a hunch telling him his friendâs anger has something to do with you.
âI leave for a minute and youâre all flirty with my girl.â Jungkookâs always been a jealous man, but Mingyu canât help but sigh at the accusation.
Still, Mingyu canât lie and say he wasnât flirting. He canât say he didnât love the way you were blushing and squirming under him. And he canât say that it wasnât what he was looking for.
âI was entertaining her because you left.â He retaliates with a part of the truth. âItâs getting old man, you canât just leave her to go after Cathlyn all the time.â
âYouâre back with that again.â Jungkook throws his arms in the air, easily irritated by the topic. âYou know what? Iâm tired of this.â As the confrontation he was looking for didnât turn out the way he wanted to, Jungkook begins walking away, âIâm leaving, weâre leaving.â
âYou never want to talk about it, but you know itâs wrong.â Mingyu adds, a little louder this time. âYou gotta stop.â
âWhy are you so worried?â Getting more frustrated by the second, Jungkook barely turns, not fully facing Mingyu. âYou never cared about it before.â
âCâmon man, Iâve always noticed.â How awful of a person he is. Accomplice to his best friend breaking girl after girlâs hearts, itâs true that he never cared this strongly about Jungkookâs extracurricular activities. Even though he always tried to make Jungkook realize the truth by himself, for his own good, Mingyu can admit, to himself at least, that now he has an added, selfish reason to want his friendâs behavior to come to an end.
âItâs my life. When I need an opinion, Iâll ask for it.â With that, Jungkook finally leaves, getting out the door to where youâre waiting in the cold.
Mingyu wasnât done with the conversation. There was so much more he wanted to say. He wanted to say that itâs your life too. Jungkook's messed up feelings were affecting the people around him too, especially every girl he dates to forget. Especially you. But he just couldnât keep pushing it, not without the truth coming to the light.
Mingyuâs reputation of being too serious, or even heartless sometimes, wasn't born out of nothing. He's aware of his resting bitch face, of the way he bolts in and out of class and the way he's never the first choice for group projects in the classes none of his friends attend. If he cared what other people thought of him, maybe it'd hurt. But he has enough friends, friends who like him the way he is, and doesn't go to college to expand his contact list.
Going to university, to him, was exclusively a way for him to learn more about his likes and interests. He goes to his classes and focuses maybe a little too much, but itâs how he lives his days, how the hours pass until he has to go to work. That is, until you came into his life unprovoked, and disorganized his sharp and efficient lifestyle.
He never crossed paths with you on campus before, and if he were to run into you after the first time he met you, he would've probably ignored you and scurried to his building like a flash. But today, he unconsciously looked around, hoping to catch even a glimpse of your figure coming out of your majorâs building. He hoped youâd see him and smile at him as you walked his way to make useless small talk. But you didnât, of course you didn't, and as soon as he sat down on his usual seat in his favorite class, he realized. Heâs fucked.
For the first time in his life, the numbers on the chalkboard didn't make any sense, the words coming out of his favorite professor's mouth sounded like a mumble of pure nonsense. His mind couldn't focus, diving into the memory of your sweet smile next to his ear. Or the shivers your body graced him with as his hands purposely covered yours on the cue stick. His hand would grab his pen to try and write a single sentence, and the feeling of your fingers barely interlaced with his would overwhelm him.
Whatâs worse than pining after your best friendâs girl? As of the moment, Mingyu has no answer. Thereâs nothing he can really do either, besides accept youâre in a sort of happy relationship. He canât take you aside and say âhey, you know your boyfriend? My friend? Yeah, so I have a theory that he might be in love with his girl best friend, sorry!â Even thinking of doing so puts a bad taste in his mouth.
He's aware that, currently, he's at least top5 worst friends in the world. And he's not looking to end your relationship and get bumped up to the top1. It's decided. He'll just ignore whatever feelings are bubbling on the pit of his stomach until they disappear!
Easier said than done, because nothing he does seems to get you out of his mind. And the vivid reminder that heâs nothing more than someone you have to get along with is screaming at him everywhere around his home.
The four walls of his bedroom imprison him, suffocate him with the thought of you. He is a bad friend. He does want you. He does resent Jungkook for keeping you his. But if he broke up with you, would Mingyu ever see you again? Would he ever get the chance to see the heat visibly rushing to your cheeks as he walked closer to you?
Mingyu hates himself. He hates himself for getting turned on at the memory of your body heat against him, shivering at his closeness but not pulling away, letting him wrap himself around you, even if the both of you knew he shouldn't. He needs to drive his mind elsewhere.
Locking in to work in front of his computer, trying to scare away the sturdiness building up in his jeans, it might become the first time he wishes it was his day to go to the office. The front door of the apartment opens, rushed steps and messy, wet, breaths echoing against every thin wall that surrounds him. The reminder that what he deeply wants, it's not, and should never be his.
Working from home has never been so much of a curse.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Jungkook grips at your sides, his body flushing against you and pressing you further into the couch. The near desperate way his lips roam over yours has you gasping for air, but he doesnât relent, hands making a mess of your hair as he hopes you give him the satisfaction he craves for.
He grinds his hips against yours with determination, and you press against him trying to give him what heâs hopelessly looking for. But no matter what you do, he goes in for more, your bodies getting more and more out of sync.
You try to give him what he wants, emitting sounds of a satisfaction you're nowhere near feeling. His mouth moves to the side of your neck, leaving marks you're not sure you want.
The white door, now in your line of sight, calls for your attention. You shouldnât be thinking about other people while you have a man in between your legs doing everything to feel any type of pleasure. But if the yellow light sneaking below the closed door alerts you of something, is that the person at the back of your mind is probably right there, behind the dangerously thin cardboard the architects of the building call a wall.
âIsn't Mingyu gonna hear?â The choked up question comes out in a whisper, in fear, in panic. And the mention of his name speeds up your heart rate far more than your current activity.
Jungkook barely cares about your worry. âHe's gaming.â
You know gaming implies wearing noise canceling headphones and tuning out of the real world. But is he really?Â
âI don't know, babe, shouldn't we check?â It sounds stupid to even ask. Check? Knock on his door to very politely ask him if he can hear you having sex?
âHe's not gonna hear,â Jungkook sighs, finally looking you in the eyes to answer, âand I wouldn't care if he did. He has to know you're mine.â
There's a speck of disdain behind his words, behind the weirdly possessive statement he just made. It leaves you more breathless than ever.
âWhat are you talking about?â You don't know what kind of egotistical manly fight they have going on, men friendships are not exactly your expertise, but it can't be about something you're aware of.
âDon't tell me you don't see it.â Jungkook hasn't gotten up from on top of you, but his hands on the sides of your waist tighten a bit more after your question.
âI don't know what you mean.â You chuckle in an intent to ease up the newly tense atmosphere. You didnât mean to make it about him. âHe's your friend, you shouldn't be jealous.â
âAnd you shouldnât be talking about another man while you're under me.â Jungkook retorts, half angry, half still turned on. It's a weird mix. One that doesn't let you reply to correct yourself.
Jungkook lowers down to your mouth once again, kissing you fervently to make you forget about anyone else. And you decide to let go. Heâs here, your bodies tangled together and your loose clothing crumbled up your torsos to feel each otherâs skins. You shouldnât doubt that, in that moment, he wants you.
You drift away into the feeling of his lips against yours, both hands cupping his jaw to relax the hurried pace heâs setting. His hands under your t-shirt feel good, like he knows what heâs doing, like he knows how women like to be touched, and it helps. It helps free your mind of everything else.
Still, youâre careful of the sounds that leave your lips. You let Jungkookâs tongue slip inside and dance with yours, muffling any soft moans you donât get to restrain. He searches for something, his hips angling with yours to feel some kind of friction. If he keeps moving like that, youâll be in the mood in no time.
A ringtone coming from the back pocket of Jungkookâs jeans disrupts the quiet setting. You stiffen under him, but he doesn't let his mood come down. You're grateful when he grabs his phone to decline the call and puts it on the end table in a rush, finding your body with his hands once again.
It's like, for the first time, he's prioritizing the time he planned to spend with you. He searches for your touch like nothing happened and you're the only thing he's thinking about.
âJust let it go to voice-mail.â Your hoarse voice surprises you, echoing over a new call. Jungkook doesnât respond, not stopping the trail of kisses up your neck until your lips are against each other again.
But a call comes in again, and he groans against your mouth, trying to ignore it, letting the default ringtone soundtrack your activities until it stops on its own. Itâs awkward, but he doesnât stop kissing you and wraps your legs around him, trying to make you forget.
By the fourth call, you're both annoyed, and Jungkook reluctantly gets up from on top of you to check who's bothering him so much. The caller gives up just when he gets the phone in his hand, but from the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of him opening his texts. You donât mean to spy on him, not wanting to be a controlling girlfriend that needs to know everything her boyfriend's doing, but itâd be nice to simply⊠get told.
The clicking sounds of his fingers typing on the small screen of his phone are about to send you straight to a mental hospital. Why's he typing so fast? So insistent? Is he mad? He's not telling you anything, as if he forgot he was just kissing you out of breath.
âDid something happen?â You dare ask, even if deep down, you know the answer is clear as day. You know whoâs the only one capable of making him drop everything in a heartbeat. âIs Cathlyn okay?â
âShe needs me.â Is all he replies. Cold. Decided.
âWhat do you mean?â The question manages to mask the anger brewing inside you. For now. But you need an explanation. How many times can you put up with the same situation until you blow up? He canât expect you to be all right with being stood up constantly.
âYugyeom broke up with her.â He explains without looking at you, like thatâs enough of an excuse.
âShe always needs you when youâre with me.â Bitterness bleeds through your mumble. It doesnât feel good. You should understand that best friends need each other. But why are you never on the receiving end of his undivided attention?
âYou canât expect me not to care when sheâs going through something. Sheâs my best friend. She goes first. Always.â
His words are like a bucket of ice water in the middle of winter. The explicit revelation that his priorities are carved on stone. There's silence as he realizes what he said, and neither of you dare speak up.
Your lungs expand but no air gets inside, and your throat threatens to close as your body prepares to start shedding tears. âWhy make plans with me if you're just gonna sprint her way at any sign of trouble?â You canât stop them. âYouâre supposed to be with me.â
Tears cascade down your face, quiet sobs getting in the way of your pathetic pleads. Covering your face from the outside world, you shrink in place, giving in to the crying as Jungkook kneels in front of you.
âBaby, I'm sorry.â His now soft voice barely reaches you over your sobs. âI know I haven't been very present.â
âNo, you haven't.â His hands carefully withdraw yours from your probably blotched face.
âI promise you,â Jungkook makes the effort to look you in the eyes, âafter this, Iâll be better. I'll make it up to you.â
He tries. But you, convinced or not of his willingness to fulfill the promise, don't want him to leave. It's not about the fight, or the sex, or even him. If he leaves, it cements you as the second option. If it was about winners or losers, you'd lose.
âStay.â It comes out so quiet you're afraid he didn't hear you.
But he did.
âI can't.â
Silence again. Deafening silence as you look at each other with different thoughts racing through your brains. He decided. There's nothing to be done.
Jungkook takes your hand in his and squeezes it tight in an attempt to bring you comfort. He thinks he's doing the right thing. He thinks he'll be able to nurse his best friend's heart and then come running back to you after.
At your silence, he stands up, reaching for his coat hanging on the hallway before sparing you one last look and heading out.
The soft click of the door closing behind him breaks you a little more inside. The couch, no longer warm with the weight of two bodies, feels empty, too big for you to fill.
Bare, exposed, you let yourself be vulnerable only for him to cut you off and leave you there, with your feelings blurting out of you in the form of tears and sobs. The undecorated walls judge you as you cry your eyes out. Is there something you can do thatâll make him like you more? You already try so hard, youâre just not⊠her.
When the white door opens to reveal the other man of the house, you're not surprised. Of course he was there, and of course he heard everything. Your luck wouldn't let you escape this situation without throwing a more embarrassing one at your hands.
It took Mingyu all of two seconds to realize what was happening. His headphones in the grip of his hand are proof that he did not want to hear what you two were doing, he just didnât get to put them on. He may be a bad friend, but he's not one to invade someone's privacy.
That's why it took him a bit more time to decide to step out of his room. Would you let him be there for you? Would you be too embarrassed? You shouldnât be, he thinks. Itâs not your fault.
At one point, he got used to Jungkook abandoning his fleeting girlfriends at the first notification from his best friend that popped up. Mingyu never did anything for the girls, and they usually left after a few minutes. Maybe that's why most of them didn't like him. He didn't care, and they always cut ties with everything Jungkook related after the break up, so why would he?
He shouldn't be doing anything. Caring that you're crying alone in the middle of his living room goes against every rule he imposed onto himself. He should be cleansing his mind of you, stepping away from the weird not-friendship you two developed and going back to focusing on the things that matter. He shouldnât let you climb up that list.
But as soon as he heard his roommate standing up and leaving, the itch at the back of his brain started screaming at him to do something. How can he step back and do nothing? He canât be indifferent this time. Unfortunately, he does care. Unfortunately, every sob and quiet sniffle tugs at his heart and urges him to be there for you, to come out and try to be there for you as best he can.
The sight of you, even if it's not something he hadn't seen before, breaks him. Making yourself as little as possible, with your clothes wrinkled and your hair a mess, you let him sit by your side, the cold couch caving under him as he settles at a good enough distance that heâs close enough to feel him beside you, but not sticking to your side inappropriately.
The silence with him is a more understanding one. Itâs not the first time heâs seen you cry, but you donât dare say anything. Is there even something to say? You didn't argue, Jungkook didn't run away angry at you, he didn't tell you he hates you and wishes you were somebody else, yet, you feel as if he did something worse. Empty yet full of self deprecating thoughts you wouldn't voice out to the best psychologist on the planet. You couldnât tell Mingyu even if you wanted to.
A hand, warm and firm, places just above your knee. Itâs soft, careful, an innocent touch to understand that heâs there for you. The gesture is oddly comforting, and you allow yourself to feel everything. The embarrassment, the disappointment, the hurt, knowing Mingyu won't judge you for it.
âItâs not your fault.â Mingyu claims, his voice overpowering your racing thoughts.
Maybe itâs the way he says it so sincerely, but you break down even more. Your hands cover your face once again, bending down until your forehead touches your knees. Mingyuâs hand frees itself from the cage you created. Heâs definitely had enough of your crying for the night by now. He tried to help and you repay him by dropping half your weight onto his hand and continue crying? If he leaves too, you wouldnât blame him.
But he doesnât leave. Instead, Mingyu wraps his arm around your shoulder and brings you closer to him. âHe doesnât deserve your tears.â
Your heart stops for a second, taking in your closeness and the reason behind it, and what he said about his close friend. Your head lays against Mingyuâs shoulder almost on its own, and he keeps you there, even if your tears start staining his shirt.
âHe wasnât like this before.â Your voice breaks trying to defend the you of the past, and the arm behind you stiffens before you feel his hand hold onto your other shoulder for comfort. âThey warned me, and I didnât listen.â
He shouldnât be the one to tell you. Mingyu knows that. But youâre so broken, crumbling against him like thereâs nothing else you can do, that he almost lets the truth slip out. Itâs on the tip of his tongue, the thing thatâll break you even more. But he canât allow himself to do it.
So, he stays silent, offering a place for you to let out all your feelings. Whatever you need to feel better, even if itâs just a little.
Mingyu doesnât know how much time passes, or what youâre thinking, but he can feel how your breathing regulates with every second. Eventually, your sniffles become rarer and rarer, you straighten your posture and, unfortunately for him, step away from his hold.
âIâm sorry, Iââ You canât look him in the eyes, taken aback by the realization of what happened, guilt making you trip over your words, âI shouldnât haveââ
Getting up and gathering your things is the only thing you can think of doing. Whatever solace you found in his arms is now gone, replaced by an awkwardness you donât know how to handle. Mingyuâs eyes bore holes on your back as you pick up your things that fell down when you first entered the apartment without care.
âItâs okay,â Mingyuâs gentle words help you relax, but the need to get out of the apartment is stronger. âYou can stay, I donât want you to leave while being upset.â
âI canât be here, Mingyu.â You donât mean to sound so hostile, but everywhere you look is a reminder of how pathetic you just were. Itâs pushing you away.
âIs there anything I can do?â Mingyu hovers around you, not wanting to scare you away. Heâll do whatever you ask him to. âAnything.â
âIâ I just want to be alone.â You walk yourself to the door, too tired to think about how you feel about everything that happened. Too busy to consider anything else. âI have to get ready for tomorrow.â
âRight, itâs tomorrow.â Heâd forgotten about the college thing. Your college thing. He was so busy pretending to mind his own business and hiding from his feelings that he forgot you have your own life too. âYouâre gonna do great.â
âThank youâŠâ Your hand rests on the door handle, hesitating leaving Mingyu after he helped you. âIâll see you tomorrow.â Your lips tight in the best smile you can manage, in an attempt to not seem mad at him.
âWeâll pick you up in the morning.â Mingyu announces, even if he knows you planned to come on your own.
âThereâs no need for that.â You let out a sad, airy chuckle that squeezes Mingyuâs heart.
âNo, Weâllââ he starts, but corrects himself, âIâll pick you up. Itâs not up to discussion. You, focus on resting.â
Mingyu takes the decision for you and opens the door himself, both of you ignoring the tingling at the touch of your hands. A quiet mumble goodbye is all you manage to say before going for the elevator. And Mingyu stays at the door until heâs sure the elevatorâs going down.
The scorching mid-day sun heated the car so much you canât rest against it. A few feet ahead, the guys stand in line at the convenience store at the gas station, with mainly energy drinks in hand and a few sandwiches. After driving the entire morning, everyone collectively decided to stop for a while for a bit of leg stretching and to recharge for more hours of driving.
Itâs been a weird day from the start.
Mingyu picked you up like he promised, and even made sure you didnât dare take an uber to their home by texting you they were on the way too early in the morning. You were about to open the uber app when he texted.
You barely got any sleep during the night, your brain switching from replaying the evening at Jungkookâs place and revising for the presentation. You rested so little, yet the usually soothing hum of the car isnât helping you sleep, choosing to focus on everyoneâs voice.
Since you opened your eyes, after tossing and turning all night, you didnât let yourself think about anything that wasnât the presentation. When to pause, how much to wave your hands in the air. It worked to an extent. But hearing Jungkook sitting by your side making the effort to talk to Cathlyn, who was sitting in the passenger seat while Mingyu was driving, almost made you go insane.
The only reason youâre alone waiting while the rest of them shop is because you insisted. No, you donât need to go to the bathroom. No, you donât want anything specific to eat. No, you donât need to walk it out. Just in need of a little bit of peace. And Jungkook let you be. Heâs been pretending nothing happened the previous night, and youâre glad heâs not forcing you to voice out your thoughts.
The bell above the storeâs door chimes as everyone leaves altogether. Instinctively, you reach for the passengerâs door, as the idea was for Mingyu and Jungkook to switch seats so Mingyu can take a rest from driving, but a voice reaches you before you get the chance to open the car.
âIs it okay if I stay there?â Cathlyn runs over to you with a pack of chips in hand.
âShotgun again?â Jungkook appears behind her, a sly smile on his face before he rounds the car to open the trunk.
She giggles at him but turns her attention back to you when she notices your silence and questioning look. âIâm sorry, I just get really dizzy in the backseat.â
Giving up on reality is easier than fighting it. Youâre not going to be the one to deny the poor girl who just got broken up with. Sure, sit with your best friend, laugh with him and ignore the rest of the world outside your bubble. Who cares? âSure, I donât mind.â
The car is not that small, but with Cathlynâs friend, who you didnât know was coming on the trip until you were in front of the car on the street by your building, you end up between her and Mingyu in the backseat.
Feeling him by your side wakes up flashbacks from the previous night. But if before he was warm and comforting, heâs now rigid in place, looking out the window as the car gets back on the road. You donât know what you expected, or why you feel a hint of disappointment at the pit of your stomach, but thereâs nothing you can really do. You arenât giving him many chances to be friendly with you either.
For a moment, youâre thankful for the cease in conversation, when Jungkook turns up the volume of the radio and random pop hits start entrancing everyone in the car into listening quietly. Cathlyn and her friend, who they call Mel, bob their heads to the song in sync without realizing, and itâs peaceful.
But then, the next song plays, and the two people sitting in the front part of the car collectively gasp. Mingyu shifts on your side, and you know he recognized what they did too.
âThis is the song thatââ Cathlyn starts, but they both laugh before she can finish explaining.
âHe really hated you for that.â The only reason Jungkookâs eyes are on the road is because heâs driving, because if he werenât, youâre sure heâd be laughing his ass off with Cathlyn.
âHe hated me before too!â She slaps his shoulder before erupting into laughter again. âFor no reason may I add.â
All three of you in the backseat just stare at them, listening, waiting for one of them to think of telling the anecdote. Your instincts want nothing more than to look at Mingyu, side eye him for a little help, but you fight them.
âWhat did you do?â Mel asks by your side, trying to get the attention from the party in the front.
âOur history teacher hated her in senior year.â Jungkook looks at Mel through the rear-view mirror. âShe argued with him almost every day.â
âI can see her doing that.â While her friend chuckles at the bit of the story, Cathlyn still doesnât turn around, almost exclusively laughing with Jungkook.
âAnd he threatened to fail me on the last test we had!â
âI keep telling you, thereâs no way he wouldâve done that.â
âIt seemed like a very real threat to me.â
âSo, you had to blast this song outside the classroom?â
âI had to make a show out of it!â
As they keep bickering about their senior year, leaving you out of the fun, the air around you becomes as awkward as ever. Melâs laughing with them, the only one paying real attention to their jabs at each other. Mingyu, on the other hand, looks down as he plays with his fingers. Youâre⊠bored.
The conversation youâre not a part of doesnât interest you, the musicâs no longer loud enough to help you take your mind off everything, and you have at least two more hours of agony.
So you focus on the cars on the road, the ones you pass, the ones that pass you, the grass, the animals, the farms, until your eyes finally close on their own.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
When you open your eyes again, the carâs slowing down, arriving at the motel thatâll house the five of you for the following days. Itâs still bright outside, but the slightly orange tones in the sky and your stomach growling indicate the beginning of the evening.
A familiar hard surface below your temple holds your head in place. When exactly you fell asleep is the first question that pops up in your head. The second one answers itself quickly.
âWeâre here.â Mingyuâs low voice accompanies his soft grip just above your knee, with a little reminder of the last time it was there.
As you lift your head and stretch your neck until it pops, it hits you. You fell asleep on Mingyuâs shoulder. A whole two hours where you bothered him, again. Made him take care of you, again.
âYou shouldâve woken me up.â Mingyu shakes his head at your intent of an apology, but you interrupt him before he speaks up, âIâm sure you were uncomfortable.â
âReally, I didnât mind.â In the background, Cathlyn and Mel excuse themselves out of the car to look for their room in a rush. âI can wash all the drool off my shirt just fine.â
âI do not drool.â The way he chuckles compels you to join him. Itâs easy, and the first time you even smiled in the day.
The door to the driverâs seat shuts closed with force, and both you and Mingyu scurry to get out of the car as soon as possible.
You donât miss the way Jungkook studies you as he hands each of you your bags from the trunk. Cold as ice, he stays silent when Mingyu excuses himself to find their shared room.
âIf your planâs to make me jealous, thatâs not gonna cut it.â Jungkookâs voice surprises you from behind, and the frown he wears on his face accompanies the angry tone.
âI didnât plan anything.â He doesnât speak to you the whole trip, and now he has the audacity to be mad at you? âBut by the looks of it, whatever you think I did, it clearly worked.â
âAlready looking for a rebound?â He follows behind you to the entrance of the motel.
âJungkook, I donât have time for this.â
You have hours and hours of practice ahead of you, and they might not be enough for your talk to be perfect. He knows the congress is a big deal to you, or at least he should. You canât be thinking about anything else. Not about him. Not about your relationship with him. Not about Mingyu.
âAre you planning to break up with me?â Youâve never heard him talk like this before. He doesnât sound hurt, just angry, jealous.
You scoff. âIf you keep being an asshole, I might.â The answer blurts out without checking with your brain first. He didnât expect you to say something back. You didnât either.
âFine.â Jungkook crosses his arms, waiting for you to say the words youâre not even sure you want to utter. âDo it.â
âLook, I canât deal with this right now.â You take a deep breath, trying to think clearly, to not do anything impulsively. âYouâre mad and Iâm stressed. Itâs not the best time.â
âAre you saying youâll do it tomorrow?â
âWhat? Iâm not saying anything, Jungkook, stop.â Your bagâs heavy on your shoulder as you rack your brain for anything to help you out of this. âWhy donât we take the night off, Iâll practice for tomorrow, you can relax after all the driving, and weâll have a proper talk tomorrow. Okay?â
Jungkook huffs, mumbling something close to a âfine then, byeâ before storming off.
The back of your throat feels dry and hoarse from the hours of speech practice. How to modulate correctly, how to make your voice bigger. It takes a toll on you.Â
When you and your friends planned to do the finishing touches the night before the congress, none of you thought youâd be trapped in a tiny motel room for hours, tweaking the words to seem more professional, timing yourselves to fit in the 15 minute time slot, and even going as far as to plan when and how to look at the screen behind you.
Your stomach growls incessantly. You havenât had anything to eat in hours, besides the simple dinner the three of you had after setting up in your rooms. Seeing every one of you is tired, the girls donât stop you when you get up and leave the room in search of a vending machine.
Somehow, the balcony has better lighting than your hallway, and you spot a big vending machine just outside your hallway. Picking a snack is not hard when your tummy begs for anything, so you grab the random chip bag you picked and begin to head back when you hear a loud thud and a curse coming from the next hallway.
Judging by which hallway youâre walking into, and the sheer size of the person bending over in pain in front of their door, itâs Mingyu.
âAre you okay?â You rush to help him in any way you can.
Mingyuâs head shoots your way and he curses again. âShit, itâs you, hi, yeah.â He grunts in between words and tries to stand up straight. âI closed the door right in my hand. Itâs no big deal, really. Go rest for tomorrow.â
Even from afar, you could see the sweat stains on the back of his sleeveless t-shirt. His shallow breathing and sweat dripping down his hair and face welcome you as you reach him. It's a sight. His skin glistening under the white hallway lights catches your attention a second longer than it should before it goes back to the cause of his pain.
âYouâre bleeding!â Taking a closer look at the hand heâs holding, you see a growing red bubble right under the ring fingerâs nail. âLetâs get you inside.â
âYou donât have toââ
âShut up and go put your hand under running cold water.â After heâs helped you so many times, the least you can do is google what to do when someone has a bubble of blood growing under their nail.
The empty room catches your attention as you read the quick answers your search pulled up. âJungkookâs not here?â
Looking over to the open bathroom door, Mingyuâs hand is under the running tap like you instructed, but heâs staring at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. He must know about the fight you two had.
âHe went out with some friends that came here too.â He answers before giving up and drying his hand. âItâs not clearing out.â
You should be used to him sitting closely by your side. Your breath shouldnât quicken and your hands shouldnât sweat as the bed creaks below him. Actually, you need to stop getting into situations where Mingyu needs to sit beside you. But you canât help it.
Maybe focusing on his minor injury can help your body relax. âOkay, so, google says it should go away on its own in like⊠two or three days.â Even if thereâs so many questions you have for him that you avoided all day, itâs not the time.
âI'll have to stay with a blood bubble on my finger for days?â His threatening pout lifts your mood quickly.
You chuckle, taking his hand in yours once again. âDoes it hurt?â Mingyu shakes his head with a small smile growing in his face, letting you have your way.
Now that heâs calmer than when you found him outside, his fingers relax in your hold as you look for any bruises. His hand that held you and comforted you one too many times, now being taken care of by you. Rushes of warm blood follow where your skin meets his, even the lightest of touches aren't free of his effect on you.
âWhy didnât you go with them?â Your mouth betrays you once again, voicing out your thoughts instead of getting through the silence. âYour friends.â
âDidnât feel like it.â His answer is simple. And you wish it was enough to satiate your curiosity, but you simply can't stop asking questions.
âNothing more?â You don't know what you expect him to answer. Maybe you're just looking for excuses to keep talking to him, to stay in the momentary bubble that surrounds you every time youâre with him.
âI haven't been⊠liking him much lately.â
Mingyu's careful with his choice of words. Still believing itâs not his place to talk about what goes on in Jungkookâs life, he canât not be honest with you, not when youâre so close to him heâs sure you can read every expression on his face.
A drop of sweat drips down the side of his face, training your eyes to follow its way down until it dampens the side of his mouth.
âYou're best friends.â A remainder, more to yourself than to him.
âDoesn't mean I have to agree with everything he does.â
Mingyu hopes you understand the meaning behind his words.
You hope he doesn't notice the way your eyes stayed too long on his moving lips before going back to his eyes.
You both hope for things you can't voice out, charging the little space between your stares with electricity. With his hand forgotten in your hold, reading his expression becomes your main task.
None of you dare move, and you know, somehow, that he's waiting for you to do something âanything. What you don't know is what you want.
Your phone chimes in your back pocket just when you part your lips to speak. There's a millisecond, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn't watching Mingyu's gaze closely, where his eyes drift down your face. With your lips dry at his attention, you break the spell, letting go of his hand to reach for your phone.
Nayeon asks where you disappeared to, and sends a long chain of suspecting emojis when you tell her who youâre with.
âIâI have to get back.â Getting up from the weak motel bed in a flash, Mingyu's eyes follow you to the door. âSorry for taking up your time.â
âYou gotta stop with that.â He stops you in your tracks, with a soft grip on your wrist to turn you back to him.
âStop talking like you're a bother.â He doesn't let you dismiss him. âYou don't bother me. I wouldn't spend time with you if you did.â
âYou didn't use to like me. And now you pity me, that's why you spend time with me.â Even if you'd like to believe otherwise.
âThat's not true.â He doesn't let go of you, and you stop aiming to get out the door. âI don't pity you.â
âYou never talked to me until you caught me crying that day.â Your head tilts, trying not to seem so serious with your counter argument.
Another text comes through your phone. You shouldn't be wasting time on such an important night. But is it really wasted time if you're spending it with him?
âIt wasn't about you.â Mingyu reveals, but it doesn't really clear up your doubts. âI don't like getting to know people I'm not sure will stick around.â
âSo, it's true.â You bring your arm out of his grip, a way to protect yourself. âI wasn't supposed to last this long.â
âLook. It's not my place, and I've already gotten too involved.â Mingyu's words fly over you, choosing not to overthink what he means. âJungkook's shit is Jungkookâs shit, but you can decide what to do too. Don't wait for him to make a decision for you.â
âI'm capable of making my own decisions, Mingyu.â You say, convinced but weary of his tone.
âI know you are. He doesn't.â
The silence is striking, breathtaking, heartstopping. Words don't come up in your brain, an infinite echo of Mingyu's remark rendering you incapable of following a simple order.
âSee you tomorrow.â You can only offer him a small smile before finally leaving the room full of him.
The applause almost breaks you down. You can finally take a deep breath. The thing youâve been preparing for weeks, taking up most of your sleep time and raising the bar for how much stress you can handle, is finally done.
Well, not completely. Your speech is done, yes, but the time for questions begins. Jennie and Nayeon answer everything swiftly as your eyes scan the room for any known faces. You finished the presentation and you can barely catch your breath as your heart tries to slow down, so they take on the most annoying part of the job.
From across the room, behind the people eager to ask their questions with their hands in the air or attentively listen to your friendsâ responses, the tall man only looking at you makes your heart stop.
Was he there the whole time? When you speak in a room full of people, you tend to disappear into your own mind, barely registering what surrounds you until your timeâs up. He could've just got here, but deep down you know he didnât. Deep down, you know heâs been there since the start, supporting you without your knowledge.
As a hand on your shoulder starts gently dragging you away from the stand, splitting the way between your connected stares, a sense of accomplishment washes over you. You're done, you can carry on with your life.Â
In the hallway just outside where you just spent the most stressful hours of your life, you can hear the next group beginning their presentation, one that luckily youâre not required to be present for. Perks of being in the line up.
Getting out the other door, Mingyu searches for you and finds you walking over to him with the biggest smile adorning your face.
âWhat did you think?â Your friendsâ giggles make it to your ears from behind. Merging the constant teasing youâre the victim of with their infatuation with Mingyu is dangerous, but there really is only one thing in your mind now.
âYou talked really well.â The highlight of every word as his eyebrows wiggle with confusion lights a warmth in your belly that spreads across your body into a chuckle.
âYou didnât understand a thing, did you?âÂ
âI didnât.â Itâs his chuckle, and his smile, and his eyes glimmering, and his chin tilted down to get a better look at you.
Have you ever felt this way before? Easy under someoneâs gaze, unafraid of making them feel less intelligent. Heâs⊠genuinely happy for you. Out of all the presentations in the schedule, your subject matter was the least close to his field, yet he chose to listen to your sociology lesson.
âThank you for coming.â You say before the magic fades. âYouâyou didnât have to.â
âI didnât want to miss it.â Heâs the most genuine he can possibly be.
Mingyu undoubtedly, and selfishly, cares about you. From the sidelines, he saw you getting the opportunity, the toll the preparations were taking on you. He wasnât going to skip one of the biggest moments of your life after seeing you struggle for so long.
âThat makes one of you.â You donât mean it to sound as spiteful, but the sour taste in your mouth as you realize who isnât present triggers the resentful tone. âAnyway, Iâm not gonna let some asshole ruin my day! Weâre going to celebrate with the girls and some guys I have no idea how they managed to make friends with, do you want to come?â
Mingyu doesn't think about what you mean behind your invitation. âSure, if you want me there.â Heâd jump at any chance he got to spend time with you.Â
Ever since that night at the pool bar, Mingyu never forgot your willingness to not let one bad moment overshadow an otherwise enjoyable day. A quality he could learn from. Thatâs why, he also canât forget about the moments he comforted you, when everything became so overwhelming you had no choice but to let it all out.
âLetâs go then!â Your hand aims to stretch back for him to take, but the little angel on your shoulder wins this round, and you just walk out the hall with Mingyu following you, hand hanging cold by your side.
The evening sky greets you on the outside world, and the fresh air filling your lungs after being trapped inside the suffocating new college is very welcomed by your body.
Following your friends wherever they go, letting them choose which bar or club to go celebrate, you can only smile and silently walk behind them. Mingyuâs towering presence occupies the space to your right. Heâs also silent, admiring the new city, letting you have the unspeaking moment you need.
Itâs not long before youâre getting into a club with flashing colored lights and loud pop music coming out of the speakers. The sense of accomplishment embodies you whole. One less thing to worry about, one less thing weighing you down. You won't let anyone take the freedom from you.
Itâs a carefree night. You let yourself be dragged to the packed dance floor, your friends leading the way amidst all the bodies crowding as they dance out of sync.
Being drunk could never compare to the happiness you feel as you join everyone dancing. You allow the music to take over you, with your hips and limbs coordinating to the rhythm of each song playing, blending into the sea of people.
You don't know when, you don't care how, and with no will to stop, you and Mingyu drift towards each other, the little space and dim atmosphere making it easy to hide everything wrong with what you're doing.
âYou're happy.â Mingyu leans down to say to your ear. The only way you could hear him over all the noise.
âI am!â You don't fight the smile growing in your lips, focusing on the way Mingyu's eyes scan your face under the blue lights.
This time, the battle between the little angel and the devil dictating your choices ends with the victory of the mischievous voice that tells you to inch closer to Mingyu.
With the excuse of the loud music, you stand on your tiptoes to reach the side of his face, your lips grazing his ear as you say, âI'm glad you came.â
His hands steady you in place before you lose your balance, holding onto your hips and keeping you in place.
You should swat his hands away. He should stand back from the girl who isn't his. The tension sizzles from the tip of his fingers barely dipping into a bit of uncovered skin and up your body until your chest tightens.
âI'm sure you'd want someone else here.â Even with the scandalous meaning behind his words, you don't ignore the light teasing tone he purposely uses.
âI'm not thinking about him right now.â His eyes search for yours, finding only truth in them.
The people surrounding you, unscrupulously dancing against each other and paying you no mind, sway your bodies from side to side. Neither of you make a move to separate, letting the pushing crowd be the excuse for your closeness. You have the urge to wrap your arms around his neck, but you fight it. Maybe if he was something else, you would.
But the universe would never let you be this careless without some karma waiting for you.
When your gaze reluctantly disconnects from Mingyu's in search for your friends, the sight of two familiar people catches your attention a few meters to the side. You should've known he was with her. That he'd choose her over you even for this.
They're just dancing, and you can't complain about it because you're currently in the arms of another man too. It's just⊠different.Â
Your hands find Mingyu's still on your sides, grabbing them softly to get them off you as your eyes go from the scene you just witnessed to him and then back. Of course, he gets it immediately.
âI can talk to him.â Mingyu has this instinct now, to shield you from having a bad time.
âNo, I'll do it. I have a few things in mind to say.â While you appreciate him wanting to help, itâs something you have to do on your own. You canât shield behind Mingyu any longer.
Making the sacrifice of looking like a psychotic girlfriend, the adrenaline moves your legs forward, no time to think further about what youâre about to do. They donât see you coming, they probably didnât even see you with Mingyu before, too sucked into their bubble to notice other people.
âJungkook.â His shocked expression just confirms your theory. He notices youâre mad quickly, but the wheels turning in his mind, failing to find the reason for your anger, are so visible you canât control your mouth. âGlad to see youâre having fun.â
âHi, babe! I didnâtâsee you come in!â He leans into the wall behind him for support, body as stiff as ever. âHaving a good time?â
âAre you kidding me?â Admittedly, youâre raising your voice a few decibels over the necessary amount, but youâve never cared less about drawing attention than at this moment. âYou really forgot, huh?â
Only then, Jungkook realizes he messed up. Itâs not normal to see you angry, especially not at him. âLetâs talk outside, okay? Itâs quieter.â
You catch his eyes going back to Cathlyn before he places a hand on your lower back to direct you to the door. Astonishing, really.
âYou could make it less obvious, at least.â The harsh cold night wind slaps you even more awake. âIâm not stupid, Jungkook.â
Youâre not dressed to be standing outside on the street at this hour. The cityâs too windy, making you shiver as if it was the middle of winter. You donât want to look weak in Jungkookâs eyes, you need to look like you stand your ground. The cold is a mental state anyway, you can fight it.
âYouâre not, babe, but what are you talking about? What are you doing here?â His cluelessness does everything but help his situation.
âWeâre celebrating that our presentation was a success.â At the news, everything clicks in Jungkookâs mind.
âIt was today.â Jungkook reminds himself out loud.
âOf course it was today! Why else do you think we drove all this way?â He has to be a special kind of disengaged and disinterested to selectively wipe his memory like this, you think.
âIâm sorry, baby! So much happened today, and I thought you didnât want to see me after last night.â
âDonât use one fight as an excuse. You forgot or you didnât care. Either way, this was important to me and you didnât come.â
People passing you on the street side eye the scene youâre making. Jungkook seems to care about being judged, taking in account the way his eyes widen at every raise of your voice.
At his silence, you keep going. âWhat did Cathlyn fucking need this time? What could have possibly been more important than your girlfriend?â It feels pathetic to call yourself that.
âYou have to understand,â his voice becomes tense at the utterance of her name, âsheâs my best friend. She means everything to me.â
Youâre positive sheâs listening to all of this. Hiding behind the clubâs door waiting for the chance to come out and comfort her oh so dear best friend. Itâs not her fault, but itâs hard not to grow an ill feeling thinking about her.
âDonât I mean anything? Why get into a relationship with me if you wonât take it seriously? If youâre in love with someone else?â
Itâs hard to form an articulated sentence when the anger and the sadness spar in your mind. Itâs hard not to feel desperate, a pitiful attempt at making a careless man care about you.
Your gaze trains on the floor, tuning out Jungkookâs lame excuses and not truthful apologies. Without looking at him, and with only the grey sidewalk on sight, itâs like you can think clearly for the first time.
âIâm sorry, baby, I promise Iâll make it up to you.â Itâs just a moment where you let his words register, and itâs the last thing you need to decide.
âNo. You wonât.â
Jungkook shuts up instantly. Your gaze doesnât falter this time, locking into his with your best poker face. You can see every thought passing through his mind, every little reaction he fights to show. He analyzes your expression, looking for another meaning, for any sign that you donât mean what you said.
âI promise I will, baby, câmon.â
The thing is, after so many promises, those words coming out of his mouth become meaningless. Theyâre just empty words he uses to get you to forgive him, heâs not being truthful, heâs just begging so he can feel better with himself.
âNo! You wonât! That was your last chance.â It gets clearer and clearer to him what youâre saying.
You shouldn't have been silently enduring the scraps of his attention he was giving you. Waiting for your growing feelings to be reciprocated by someone who doesnât respect you. Those feelings, however big or small âyouâre not sure, quickly started dissipating at the realization that he simply didnât care. It wasnât his memory, or his busy schedule, it was the lack of intention. Care and intention he always showed to someone else.
âBabeâŠâ He sounds like he gave up too, one last pity attempt you know he doesnât mean.
âWeâre done. You never wanted to be with me, and I certainly donât want to be with you anymore.â
When you start walking away, Jungkook doesnât stop you, standing where you left him with his eyes lost to the ghostly street.
Realizing the burden heâs been on your life and letting it go finally lets you see clearly. Your night mightâve been ruined, but youâre liberated from that pain. Youâre not happy, but youâre not sad either, just walking forward, a new future ahead.
Youâve walked almost two whole blocks, the motel a half block away, when the sound of rushed steps chasing you alerts you. You didnât think anyone would be coming after you, but you realize who it is right when the figure appears in your line of sight.
âAre you okay?â Mingyuâs breathless, slowing his pace to match yours. He definitely heard everything that happened.
âYeah, I think so.â Even if you sound convinced, he stays walking with you.
âIâll walk you inside.â He doesnât look back, deciding on what to do. But you know he should be making sure his friend is okay. You guess he is, though.
âI'll be fine. You can stay withââ
âI want to make sure youâre okay.â Mingyu interrupts you before you can say the otherâs name. âI don't care about him right now.â
Your heart stops for a moment before your brain catches up. All those times Jungkook left you and Mingyu came right to the rescue, when he got annoyed at them in the pool bar, or admitting he didnât like what Jungkook was âchoosingâ. Of course he has to know how his best friend and roommate feels about everyone.
âYou knew it all this time.â He doesnât look at you, staring at the distance as he listens closely. âThat heâs in love with her.â
âI didn't want to be the one to tell you.â
Your room doorâs just one step away now, but you still stop in your tracks at his words. You never thought of his silence as his way to shield you from the truth. You never thought that the initial pity he took on you âeven if he denies it, came from a place of hiding something from you.
âHe was in love with somebody else while being with me! Thatâs the kind of thing you need to tell me!â Luckily, the hallway is completely deserted at this hour. You wouldnât want to make another scene. Youâre more aware of everything now, free but raw, as if anything could scar you.
âIt wasn't my place!â For a second you understand Mingyu. Imagining him even implying it hurts more than realizing the truth yourself. But it still hurts. You trusted him with your most vulnerable moments, and all that time he hid that he knew the real cause for that pain. âAnd don't act like you didn't know it too.â
Mingyuâs harsh comment feels like a punch in the gut. Thereâs no malice in his tone, youâve come to know him and his tendency to be too direct sometimes, it was just unexpected this time.
But he is right. There were signs everywhere for you to see, signs you turned a blind eye to. It was a thought that often crossed the back of your mind, but you dismissed it before you could think about it further. You were stupid to think you were paranoid and it meant nothing.
âStop.â You realize you weren't looking at him and shoot your gaze up. âI know what youâre thinking. Donât blame yourself. Heâs the asshole and youâre not at fault for believing him.â
âBut I shouldnât have. I thought I was smarter than that, turns out Iâm just dumb.â You want to curl up in bed, hide from the judging outside world and forget all about Jungkook and the past few weeks. But not all of it.
âHeâs the dumb one for not seeing how great you are.â Mingyu's hand on your shoulder manages to comfort you enough to hold off on the tears. âAre you okay? About breaking it off?â
âI know it was the right choice for me. But I have to assimilate it, I think. Sleep it offâ
Mingyu nods in acknowledgement as your hand reaches for the doorknob. As if that was your way of ending the conversation, he turns his body to head out the grimy hallway, because he knows whatâs next. Youâll cut off everything related to your now ex, a pack of memories in which he himself is included. This is why he shouldnât have gotten involved with you. Thereâs no way youâll want to be in touch with him after everything.
âMingyu.â Itâs your voice that makes him turn around. Even considering how heartbroken you must be, thereâs a slight grin on your face as you think about what to say next. âI didnât say I wanted to be alone.â
His heart accelerates as if it was miles ahead of the thought process his brain is having a hard time catching up with. Still, beyond whatever he wants and feels, he knows you need some time to think clearly, someone to be there for you regardless of feelings.
At his hesitation, you open the door and look back at him as you enter. Itâs a clear invitation, one he accepts immediately.
After closing the door behind him, the unmade bed calls his name and he sits at the edge to take his shoes off as you begin your night routine in front of the bathroom mirror.
âIâm curious about something.â You look cute smothering moisturizing cream all across your face, Mingyu thinks. âDo you think she likes him back?â
He finds it in himself to chuckle. âDo you really want to talk about that right now?â
âLook, I wonât be sad about it if I can turn it into a gossip session later. Itâs my way of getting over things, so please just indulge me this time.â
Youâre looking at him as you tap your face with the pads of your fingers. Mingyu doesnât see an ounce of sadness in your expression, instead, youâre very serious with what youâre asking. And he wonât argue with that logic, if thatâs what it takes to help you forget and spend more time with you.
âShe never told me anything.â Your half closed eyes and head turned to the side signal Mingyu to keep talking. âIf he confessed, I think she could like him back. They already act like a couple anyway.â
Mingyu realizes he went too far. You donât say anything, but your shoulders slouch before you grab your pajamas from the nightstand and lock yourself in the bathroom. That was definitely not what you wanted to hear. Shit.
âI hope they can finally realize theyâre idiots.â When the door opens to reveal the loose but all too revealing clothes barely covering your body, Mingyu can almost hear all the air in his lungs escaping at once. âAre you getting in bed?â
Maybe itâs his mind playing sick games with him. You canât possibly be asking him to slip under the covers with you and be calm about it. Thereâs a lot of things he can calmly face up to. The idea of laying down so close to the person whoâs been making a mess of his every thought is not one of those.Â
Still, he follows suit with your not so indirect invite. He doesnât want to make assumptions about you, about the situation, or about what you want, so he lets you take the lead for tonight. Trusting that youâll show him what you need and believing that he can give it to you.
The both of you lay awkwardly side by side, facing the ceiling deep in thought. Only the breathing sounds and the way your arm grazes against his keep Mingyuâs senses in check. He feels like a highschooler having his first conversation with his crush. He can no longer be the cool, calm self he praised himself to be. So, he resorts to silence.
âWas he always like that? Ending relationships after realizing itâs not what he wants?â You turn in your place, facing him with those doe eyes of yours that always make him fold.
âIf it makes you feel any better, I think itâs the girls that break up with him.â He mirrors your position, feeling better at the entire situation when he sees your smile at his comment.
âGood for them.â
Thereâs something in your gaze that makes Mingyu question if itâs worth it to be loyal to his friend. Though that moral code mustâve been broken already, thereâs still a line, no matter how thin, he hasnât crossed yet. Emphasis on âheâ, because he can never be sure whatâs your next move.
âAre you sure youâre okay?â He dares to ask again.
Mingyuâs hyper aware of how close you are. How you shift a bit closer to him as you think your answer. He thought the clothes he was wearing were okay to sleep in, but his bodily temperature keeps rising at the thought of you.
âI still feel a bit stupid.â He canât stand hearing you talk about yourself like that, but he doesnât get to argue. You shut his mouth closed, placing your index finger on the center of his lips before he can utter a word. A touch so innocent he immediately feels bad at how electrifying it felt. âMy friends warned me that his relationships never lasted. And I guess I wanted to see it for myself. Have the empirical data, if you will.â
He sees your gaze go down from his eyes, and your hand goes down with it to whatever caught your attention. He swallows hard, waiting for just one signal. The chain around his neck tugs at the back, and he realizes youâre inspecting the little charm hanging from it.
âItâs not like I was in love with him.â Every word you say feels like fire on his end. âHe was fun at first. Thatâs what I liked about him.â
You play with Mingyuâs chain like itâs second nature. Like you donât realize your handâs dangerously close to his chest, about to feel the beating of his heart growing stronger each second.
âIâm sorry I didnât tell you.â That makes your eyes go up again, eyelashes fluttering so close he could count each one of them.
âI get why you didnât, youâre a good friend. And I think it was better for me to realize on my own, if that makes you feel any better.â The smile that grows on him matches yours perfectly.
âI donât know how much of a good friend I am anymore.â The honesty slips out of him under your scanning stare. âIâm here after all, arenât I?â
Mingyu should feel guilty. He left the bar to go after you without so much of a second thought, leaving his supposed best friend to deal with everything on his own. Thatâs how much he cares about you. His need for you overflows into every area of his life, making the guilt disappear into the stream of things that donât matter. Youâre not taken anymore. And, deep down, he knows Jungkookâs going to be fine. He doesnât care about you even a fraction of how much Mingyu does.
Heâs still deep in thought when he feels your hand going up the side of his jaw. Your icy fingers contrast against his fiery skin, driving him to lean into your touch. Heâd close his eyes and let you do anything you wanted if it wasnât for the intoxicating force of your gaze.
The irrational part of his brain doesnât let him stop you as your face gets closer so his. Youâre slowly testing the waters, seeing if heâll back down, but Mingyuâs quicker, and leans down the last millimeters to finally connect.
Your lips melt against his with a soft sigh, and everything stills for a moment. Enveloped with the tenderness of your touch, he feels you hazily pressing further against him, unsurely yearning for more.
But the rational part of his brain, the one that tugs on the last strand of morale he has, retrieves his head from your electrifying kiss.
âWe shouldnâtââ Mingyu regrets it instantly at the sight of your saddened eyes. But he knows itâs for the best. He couldnât live with himself if you werenât sure.
âYou donât want to?â The way your hand flies away from his personal space almost makes him take it and put it back where it belongs.
âI do.â He sounds desperate. He needs you to understand. âBut you should see how you feel when you have a clear mind.â
A thousand thoughts rush through your mind, visibly turning your expression soft again. Mingyu offers his arm for you to lay on, the most outlandish peace offering he can make without losing his mind first.
âOkay.â Your soft voice reverberates up his arm as you lay your head on his relaxed bicep. âDo you want to leave?â
He couldn't begin to imagine any dimension in the multiverse where he'd choose to stay away from the featheriness of your skin against his. âDo you want me to leave?â
âI asked you first.â Your light chuckle heals the worry beginning to creep up on Mingyu. In the future, he'll make sure you never doubt him again.
âI don't want to leave.â
The way your smile keeps making a blank slate of his brain should worry Mingyu. But he's never felt this way before, and if there's a chance, however big or small, that you could feel the same way, he won't go back.
âAnd I want you to stay.â
The morning sun rays bleed through the flimsy curtain, illuminating the otherwise plain motel room in a golden light. You feel warm all around, wrapped in Mingyuâs arms instead of the bedsheets that sometime along the night seem to have fallen to the floor.
But even in the confinement of Mingyuâs backhug, you feel free. What has been dragging your spirit through the floor finally cut from your life. The previous nightâs events faded to a distant memory as soon as you laid your head in Mingyuâs chest and drifted to the best sleep youâve had in weeks.
You donât dare turn in his hold, afraid to wake him up and make him face the day. Thatâs the one thing you havenât been able to dust off since you opened your eyes. The guilt.
Maybe for you, cutting Jungkook out of your life was the best decision, but Mingyu was his friend first, and last night, for whatever reason, he chose you. He chose to comfort the whiny girl that dumped his boyfriend instead of his best friend since they were in the womb.
The morning with him feels like sunrises on the beach, like a warm cup of coffee on the coldest day, like being trapped in an infinite bear hug. It feels like hope. And the guilt from wanting it all could consume you whole just like the need for him.
Mingyu must have mind reading superpowers, because his arms tighten around you before the guilt overwhelms you, easily forgetting it all at the feeling of his breath on your neck.
Neither of you say anything, sharing the comfortable silence, relishing being in each otherâs arms. You donât stop him when he tangles his legs with yours, feeling him everywhere from head to toe. You let your hands caress his forearms as they drift dangerously close to your lower belly.
Itâs wrong. Itâs definitely wrong on some moral level. Borderline evil even. Itâs too soon, and you need to understand what youâre feeling before moving forward with whatever this is. This that feels so nice, so right, but so wrong.
Mingyu doesnât seem to be having the same moral dilemma thatâs running around your mind anymore. The hardness you feel pressing against your inner thigh followed by a gasp that spreads goosebumps all across your back confirming your theory.
In the morning haze, in the limbo between days where time doesnât run and actions donât have consequences, you give into his infectious desire. The agreement you made the night before flying out the window as soon as a fire ignites all across your body.
You purposely grind against him, the indecent action causing your face to feel even warmer. A low moan gets caught in Mingyuâs throat at the feeling of your ass against his morning wood, one hand gripping your hip to keep you in place.
âWhat are you doing?â His raspy voice sends another fire down your body, making you squirm in his grip.
âNothing.â You feign innocence, pretending to straighten your posture but ultimately pressing yourself harder against his chest. âYou don't like it?â
The space between your bodies is crushed impossibly tighter until all you can feel are his muscles tensing in his search for you. The barrier you left standing the night before, demolished with little care as he sighs to your ear.
âIt's not that, princess,â every bit of skin Mingyu touches works like a button to make you need him more and more, âwe should wait.â
You'd agree with him if it wasn't for the elastic of your sleeping shorts stretching to fit his wandering hand. Itâs a timid action, one that contradicts his words but only gets encouraged by your gasp. These arenât the hands that held you close when you were broken, no, these are the ones that felt you shiver pretending to teach you to play pool, the ones that pushed you against him in the dimness of the club. The ones you crave with your whole body.
At your reaction, he drifts further down, playing with the hem of your panties so painfully slow the grip of your hand on his forearm grows stronger with each second he doesn't fully touch you. His lips graze your shoulder, trying to contain himself from kissing every inch he can reach.
When he flattens on your pelvis, pressing you against his faltering hips, you swear your whimper drives him to not so innocently thrust behind you. The room is impossibly hot, but you donât care, nothing matters other than your need to feel him inside.
Your mouth opens, hoping to work enough to plead for him, but a loud knock on your door startles you both out of the embrace.
If the earth itâs going to swallow you at any point in life, you hope itâs right then and there. Your panties are uncomfortably sticky as your embarrassed gaze connects with Mingyu, the both of you speechless with guilt. The most awkward second ever before another knock echoes into the room.
âTell Jennie Iâll be out in a second? I promised her weâd go out for breakfast together.â
The embarrassment doesnât let you look at him a second longer before you lock yourself in the bathroom. Maybe a splash of cold water on your face can help you not look like you just got cockblocked.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
However Mingyu thought his morning would go, the reality was far from his imagination, though it felt far better. He wouldn't mind waking up next to you again, heating up your skin with his touch until you whimper for him.
The sight of you, just woken up and shy at the boldness of what you just did, puts a sheepish smirk on his face. He almost forgets the wrongness of everything. But the decision he made, selfish and long forgotten, quickly comes back to bite him in the ass as he opens the door.
âWow, this is a nice sight!â Jungkook's face morphs into sarcastic shock as the door reveals a disheveled Mingyu.
âWhat are you doing here?â In all honesty, Mingyu didnât think about his friend last night, deep down knowing he wasnât going to be hurt for long.
âAre you her bodyguard now? I just want to talk about last night.â Jungkook attempts to take half a step into your room, but Mingyu immediately blocks the door.
âItâs not the time to get in my way, man.â The baseless threat doesnât make Mingyu budge in the slightest, which pisses Jungkook off. The manâs eyes widen after scanning the state of the room. âDid you fuck her?â
âWhat?â Mingyu can't believe what he's hearing.Â
âI asked, Did. You. Fuck. Her?â Speaking each word with clenched teeth, Jungkook's voice bleeds anger.
âWhy do you care?â
Jungkook barely lets him finish his question. âSo you fucked her.â
The crude language puts a bitter taste in Mingyu's mouth. As if only the sex mattered and not everything else. Not that he comforted you at your weakest, that you opened up your heart to him, that you kissed him so softly he almost passed out. Mingyu can only hope the bathroom door miraculously becomes soundproof.
âDon't pretend to care about her now.â Never in his life has he talked to Jungkook this way, always afraid of what could happen to their friendship if he tried to put some sense into him. Then again, his actions never hurt someone Mingyu actually cared about.
âI bet you couldnât wait for me to dump her.â The words spit out of Jungkookâs mouth like acid. âEager to take on my leftovers.â
âDude, I get that you're mad, but you're getting out of line.â The peacemaker in Mingyu takes over âitâs either that or a punch in the face, and tries to get his friend back in the hallway.
âIâm not mad!â He gasps with a hand to his chest. âJust shocked, that's all. Didnât even let a day pass.â Venom coats every word he says, justifiably betrayed by the one friend he thought he could always count with.
âI didnât mean for it to come to this,â Mingyu admits quietly, âI wasnât supposed to care.â
Thereâs nothing as Jungkook processes those words. A tense second that becomes an infinite one, a void sucking every apology out of his mouth. Mingyu would pay millions to know whatâs going on in his friendâs head. He could always tell what he was feeling even when he shut everyone off. But he was never the one causing his anger.
âI can gââ
âIâll take the bus home with Cathy.â Is all Jungkook says.
His blank face waits for Mingyu to nod before walking away with no second thoughts. Out of the million outcomes he thought for this conversation, Mingyu never thought heâd be the one left speechless. But they both clearly need some time alone before going back to being roommates, before talking like two grown adults and resolving this.
Itâs the sound of a door closing just meters behind him that takes him back to the room, your room.
Mingyu doesnât know what to do to shield you from the hurt. Heâs tired of simply being there to comfort you in the aftermath. He canât stand the sight before him, your lips turn downwards trying to get a hold of your feelings. He can see it all, the process of all the emotions going through your brain, until your face settles to a serious expression.
âIâm sorry you had to hear that.â Mingyu stays at the threshold of the door, not sure if youâd still want him as company.
âDonât be. Iâm glad I did.â You stay put in place, half a step from the messy bed, looking everywhere but at him. âAt least I donât have to feel guilty anymore.â
Guilt. Thatâs what he noticed when he gained consciousness and felt you tense in his hold. âAbout what happened earlierââ
âIâm sorry about that,â you interrupt him in his hesitation, âyou said you didnât want to and I crossed the line.â
âItâs notââ Your lips part in surprise as your eyes fly to his. âIâshit, I donât want you to think Iâm only being nice for something in return.â
âYou should be glad I donât think of you that way.â Itâs a weird feel of rejection, the one in your heart as you start picking up your things. A man says he doesnât want to have sex after rubbing himself against you and fighting with your ex boyfriend. âWe should pack, get ready to leave.â
âWhat do you think of me then?â
Mingyu standing leaning against the doorframe, following your every move with his eyes, makes you stumble upon every possible obstacle on your way. Even with your gaze elsewhere, you can feel him watching your every move.
âI think youâre a good man that lacks a sense of urgency.â Unfortunately, you didnât bring much stuff on the trip, and youâre getting to the end of things to take your mind off of Mingyu. âAre you going to stare at me all day?â
âI like you.â Mingyuâs sure about a lot of things, but at the weight lifting from his shoulders, the way you stop at his words and how you wait for him to continue, heâs certain heâs never felt like this before. âIâm sorry if that's weird and wrong to say, but I do.â
âIââ Thereâs no way to describe it, how your mind clears of any reasonable thought the second those words escape Mingyuâs lips.
âYou donât have to say anything. Like I said last night, I want you to figure out how you feel on your own time. Iâll be here, you can count on me. Iâm not going anywhere.â
His assurance helps. He somehow always knows how to help you, what to say, how to act.
Before you know it, youâre face to face with him, his warmth embracing you as he tilts his head down, waiting for your next move. Your cheek lays softly on his chest after wrapping your arms around him, hugging him tightly, the only way you have to express your gratitude.
Warm air effortlessly fills your lungs, the scent of him coating every one of your senses as he replicates your hug. His arms feel right around you, as if you were meant to be like this forever, and you relax in his hold.
âThank you.â Two simple words that mean so much more are the only thing you manage to utter, hoping he'll understand.Â
âAlways.â
Some girls my friends met at the congress came to town and begged for us to take them to a club Do you want to come? Itâs close to my place
As soon as you press send, you throw your phone at your bed on the other side of the room.
Itâs been two weeks since the most eventful weekend of your life. Two weeks since you finally stood up for yourself and chose your well being for once. Two weeks since Mingyu started being one of the most important parts of your everyday life.
Those afternoons when he made you wonder if you actually fit in his friendâs life, when the thought of him would cause you an immediate headache, feel like a ghost of the past. You couldnât imagine not being around him now, not receiving his ominous texts in the middle of the night after he finishes a random project for college that you donât understand, or not seeing his face after class when he picks you up and rambles about how good his class was that day.
He promised heâd be there for you, waiting for you to see how you feel about him without expecting anything in return. And every day that passes, the hurt and confusion fades away bit by bit, and a new, stronger, unexplored, feeling grows in your heart.
You donât know what compelled you to invite Mingyu out of nowhere. Youâre fully dressed, about to leave and with your friends already waiting on your buildingâs front door, but something at the back of your mind itched with a potent need to see him. Your fingers clicked on his contact and texted him before you could realize what you were doing.
Itâs not two minutes later that your phone vibrates with a new notification. Your skin crawls with the combined anxiety of wanting to see him but also not wanting to see him at all. The usual two feelings that fight to take over every time you think of him.
Youâre quick to run out your apartment before your friends come up and drag you out themselves. With your unlocked phone in hand, Mingyuâs name lights up your screen.
Sure. Text me address. Iâll meet you there.
The simplicity of his texts always makes you chuckle, embarrassingly smitten by his short sentences. You quickly text him the name and address before hopping off the elevator and joining your friends in the cold weather in which youâre not meant to be wearing the club clothing you chose.
Youâd be a liar if you didnât admit you were nervous to see Mingyu. The change came without warning. After getting used to him checking up on you, learning your coffee order and your class schedule, the anticipation started taking over you. Your eyes look for him around campus, your feet flee out of your classroom knowing heâs going to be there waiting for you.
You try to distract yourself when you get too in your mind about it, about him. Itâs a difficult new kind of occurrence youâre not sure how to navigate, so you resort to acting nonchalant about it. Thatâs why, when he arrives and your friends make eyes at you, you donât let the subject go further than admitting you invited him. Itâs a normal thing for people to invite their friends to hang out!
But no matter how hard you try, your eyes donât stop wandering to the bar, where Mingyuâs forgotten his quest to get another round of drinks and is talking to the most graceful and gorgeous woman alive.
Of course, Mingyu chose tonight of all nights to look like a prince coming to the rescue. A fitted black shirt that even with the lack of light inside the club managed to highlight his build. You almost fainted when he locked eyes with you across the room and smiled walking all the way to you.
And youâd caught that girlâs eyes glued to him when he first entered the club and greeted you all. As soon as he took one step away from you to walk to the bar, the girl unhooked herself from your group and followed him.Â
âI wonder whatâs taking so long with the drinks," Youâre barely processing your words as they leave your mouth. As if you havenât been policing the interaction since it started.
âYeah, did heâŠâ Jennieâs voice trails out before she can finish, following the line of sight you basically burned in the air after so many stares. A small smirk flashes through her before she mumbles, âOh.â
Now thereâs four more pairs of eyes witnessing why youâre making a fool out of yourself.
âGuess he found something else to do.â Still digging your own grave, you canât stop making stupid comments.
Jennie and Nayeon exchange a look youâre too busy to catch, while you make sure your empty drink is still⊠empty. Yeah, the very interesting plastic cup in your hand. Definitely the most interesting sight you can be staring at. The cheap cocktail you thought could ease out the anxiety, and now that the little effect it had left your body, all you can do is laugh at yourself.
âWho is she anyway?â You didnât even catch her name before she jumped at the chance to get Mingyu alone.
âWe presented right after her.â Your friendâs voice barely reaches you over the loud music, and on top of that, you donât really care to know much about her anyway.
âRightâŠâ
Itâs not a big deal. What else did you expect? That he wouldnât be able to keep his hands off you like the last time you were in a club together? That youâd feel him all around you again as he felt you up with everyone watching? Stupid. You got too comfortable, took him for granted, and he got tired.
âAre you okay?â Nayeon materializes by your side, her hand on your arm steering your eyes back to her.
âHe can do whatever he wants! I really donât care.â Seeing how they can always tell whatâs going on with you, of course they read through the lines.
The other two girls you came with look confused before they dare to speak up.
âWe tried telling her that he was off limits," One says as the other confesses, âWe thought you two were together.â
The girlsâ confusion only fuels yours. You really didnât want to think about it further before, just in case, but it gets you wondering. âWâwhy would you think that?â
âWe just saw you talking after you presented," The blonde one giggles before her friend adds. âYou guys looked cute!â
How did they get to that conclusion after the simplest interaction? Were you that obviously nervous? Was the prickling of your skin visible when he stood too close by your side? Itâs become the norm for you two to act this way, the invisible skinship boundary long broken.
Deep down, you know thereâs no reason to doubt him. You want to be weary of him, find one single flaw to use as an excuse to not like him, but itâs pointless. Mingyuâs never proven to be anything other than supportive. Heâs been so patient with you, the deeper feelings for him developed almost on their own. No warning.
Even before breaking up with Jungkook, Mingyu was always present. Since that first day he found you crying, he made sure you had company, made sure you didnât get too in your head and helped you have a good time. He was there for you before you even realized you needed it.
You took him for granted for too long, and now he has a pretty girl in front of him showing clear signs of attraction, all while you get scared texting him.
You've been so stupid, so blind to what you had in front of you, that now you're losing it, seeing it disappearing from your life with your own eyes.
The charged stares you've been sparing them must've made their way into Mingyuâs sixth sense, because he finally unglues his eyes from the girl and connects them with yours. You know you have no right to be jealous, you two are nothing, just two people with a very complicated relationship.
As if he knew everything going through your mind, Mingyu smirks your way. He fucking smirks. The twist of his lips cause a chain reaction from your hanging jaw down to your insides becoming a roller coaster. You barely hear your friends saying theyâre going to the restroom, choosing to stay and challenge Mingyu.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
When he got your text inviting him out, Mingyu was sitting on the couch that had seen it all happen. Jungkook, just beside him, easily took a peek at the notification that lit up his friend's mood.
âIs that her?â
Even if theyâve resolved the bad blood between them, Mingyu couldnât help to hide the reality of his feelings from Jungkook. âYeah," He told him after replying to your text.
Mingyu could count with one hand the few times you had dared to text him first these past few weeks. Seeing your name pop up, inviting him out, was thrilling.
It's been no secret that every time Mingyu disappeared to go somewhere unannounced, he was going with you. Jungkook knew it, but it was time he encouraged it.
âDude, if you like each other, I'm not looking to get in between," Jungkook assured with his eyes back to the tv in front of them.
âIsnât it weird?â Mingyu tested the waters, checking if he was hallucinating the support.
âItâs only weird if you make it weird," Jungkook shrugged, as if it were that simple.
The situation is weird. And maybe it will always be weird.
Mingyu started making up this fantasy in his head, where, in the future, youâve finally let him in and he can love you the way you deserve. One where you can look back at the past and laugh with that blinding toothy smile of yours, with all the hurt being just a distant memory. But before you two get to that point, Mingyu will make sure nothing gets in the way of your happiness ever again. And he foolishly hopes you find it with him.
âIs she okay?â Jungkookâs question took Mingyu out of his thoughts. âIâve been thinking if I should apologize or not.â
âSheâs fine,â at that moment, Mingyu realized that maybe his best friend is better at hiding how he feels than he thought, âbut an apology wouldnât hurt.â
Having long conversations was never their strong suit, so the topic ended there, with Jungkook deep in thought and Mingyu getting up to change clothes.
Something drove him to try and be more presentable for you. The last time you two went to a club together, he almost gave up everything right then and there. Now that there are no barriers between the two of you, he wonât hold back at your advances, he wonât freeze if you dance close to him. At least that was his initial goal.
When he arrived at the club, Mingyu had to pause as soon as he saw you across the room. The smile you showed your friend after something she said illuminated the whole room, leaving nothing else in front of his eyes but you.
He greeted all your friends as politely as he could without straying his eyes off you. His hand traveled itself onto the small of your back, keeping you intoxicatingly close to him as best he could. And he didnât want to leave your side, but maybe breathing an air free of your perfume would help him think clearly, he thought.
Talking to one of the girls you were with, Mingyu partly feels bad for already forgetting her name. The overworked bartenderâs taking too long to prepare all the drinks, and he has no other choice than to entertain the girl.Â
Answering her questions gets harder and harder with the music blasting, and as she places her hand on his arm to get closer to him, Mingyu can feel the interaction being under someoneâs scrutinizing eyes.
Is this all in his head? Are you really standing with your arms crossed and the cutest frown ever on your forehead, almost killing the girl in front of him with your stare? The corner of his mouth lifts autonomously at the thought of you not liking him flirting with another person.
He hasnât seen this side of you, the jealous and slightly possessive one. And even if youâre nothing more than friends, he loves it. He loves the way you squint when you lock eyes, how you shrug when he doesnât back down. Itâs easy for him to excuse himself and walk towards you again.
At the sight of him, you turn your back on Mingyu, pretending to be dancing alone. So, he has no other choice but to stand behind you and ask in your ear. âSomething on your mind?â
Your back tenses against his chest, but you donât move away, allowing Mingyu to wrap his arms around your waist to keep you close. With your friends suddenly nowhere in sight, he interlocks your fingers while in his hold, helping you relax even if youâre still pretending to be mad.
âYou took your time.â The initially suffocating sea of people now feels protective, working like a barrier between your bodies pressed tightly together and the outside world. âHaving fun?â
âI am now," Mingyuâs lips graze the side of your face as they lit up in another smirk, growing goosebumps all across your body. âHow about you?â
Somehow, being like this doesnât feel weird. Youâve had Mingyuâs arms wrapped around you so many times now that they easily mold to your figure. There really is only one difference, one that none of you dare speak up but washes over your every interaction.
âI was thinking of going home already.â You look down at your hands tangled in one, fearing that Mingyu can notice at any time how butterflies erupt in your stomach at every word he purrs right in your ear. âNot much to do here.â
âI can take you," His choice of words halts your breath, but you remember.
Untangling Mingyuâs hands from yours, you turn around in his arms to face him, regretting instantly as soon as your eyes connect again.
âYou should stay. You looked like you were having fun.â That makes Mingyu chuckle, and an embarrassed warmness bursts inside you at the sound.
âI didnât think you were the jealous type, princess.â And you didnât think he was the type to tease you in public, but life takes you to unthinkable roads sometimes.
You scoff as an excuse to take your eyes off him for a second. âJealous, huh? Youâre funny.â
In an intent to get away from his menacingly broad body, your hands take the unconscious decision to push his chest away. But you donât have the true will to do it, or the strength. Heâs too big, too muscly for you to move, and he traps your hands against him, against the sheerest shirt ever that lets you feel every muscle tense under your touch.
âIâd like to think I can make a girl laugh sometimes.â Heâs all you can see, covering every spot in your vision with his unerasable teasing smirk.
âYeah, I saw that.â At the roll of your eyes, thereâs no denying that youâre jealous anymore. Do you really care if he knows anyway?
âOh, you did? Controlling.â
âIâm not controlling! You can do whatever you want, I wonât get in your way.â If he wants to flirt with an emotionally available girl after the infinite amount of time he waited for you, you canât stop him. Youâll take your feelings to the grave.
Something brews in Mingyuâs mind at your rebuttal. âYou wonât?â
âNo.âÂ
For the first time in forever, Mingyu willingly unclasps one of his hands from yours, âAnd if I do this?â
Mingyuâs fingers creep up your neck and get a hold of your chin, titling it up until you have no other choice but to look him in the eye. He waits for your answer, as if youâd ever say no. As soon as you nod, giving him the okay, another smirk is the only warning you get.
Your lips, meant to be pressed against his forever, part with a sigh as Mingyu's arms wrap around your waist. The world around you, with frantic music and people moving at lightspeed, fades to nothing in his embrace. You move along Mingyuâs soft lips naturally, letting your heart convey your feelings through the kiss.
The memory of that last kiss you dared give him all those days ago canât compare to this one. Thereâs no hesitation this time, no guilt restraining you from following your true desire. Nothing outside your bubble really matters as your hands travel up his chest to keep his head in place.
His hair feels soft between your fingers as you push yourselves together closer and closer. You never want anything else in life, just kissing and kissing Mingyu until your lungs give out. Itâs unfortunate that you canât.
âLet me take you home," He gasps with your lips just millimeters away.
Your stomach twists and turns with anticipation. âOkay,â barely a whisper accompanies your nod, fearing the way your voice could come out if you said more.
With his hand in yours, walking the moonlit streets in swift steps and giggles, any worries you had slip away with the wind. The feeling of his lips linger on yours every second it passes, every breath you take, every step forward until you stop at an intersection and Mingyu pulls you into him again.
The walk blends between kisses and hand squeezes to check if youâre in a dream or not. You never want to back away from his hold ever again, but as your building materializes in front of you, you're forced to take your hand off the hem of his shirt.
The elevatorâs wall hits your back as soon as the automatic doors let you in, barely giving you time to push your floorâs button before Mingyuâs over you again. His mouth takes yours with a hunger that grows every second youâre not inside your apartment. Heâs losing control, succumbing to his desires the more you show your want for him.
By some way, your tangled bodies manage to reach your door, though Mingyuâs hands refusing to stop going over your hips and waist are the challenge to overcome. Your fingers tremble trying to turn the key the right way, your nervous system focusing on the lips kissing every inch of the side of your neck he can reach and his fingers slipping underneath the fabric of your top.
As soon as you close the door behind you, the reality closes in on you. With Mingyuâs arms wrapping around your waist again, the bag you forgot you were holding dropping onto the floor with a thud, and the bright lights in your apartment making everything clear.
Mingyu notices your sudden hesitation and stands before you, worried eyes studying you, looking for any sign to tell him what's happening in your mind.
âI made you get in a fight with your best friend," Your reminder is like a dagger against the silence.
âIs that what's bothering you?â His eyes find yours and understand immediately. âWe're fine,â He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, âhe actually encouraged me to come tonight.â
Your eyes widen with hope, leaning into his touch when he doesn't retrieve his hand from the side of your face. âDid you guysââ
âWe talked,â Mingyu's voice explains so softly, one wouldn't think he was just making you gasp with that same mouth on yours, âand I told him he should apologize to you.â
Standing in the middle of your entrance hallway, you feel stupid for even bringing that up. He wouldn't be here with you if he felt guilty. He wouldn't be cupping your face in his hands, making you look up to him to find the glimmer in his eyes outshining every light source in the room.
âAnd youâre sure about this?â What âthisâ means, youâre not sure either.
âI've never been more sure about anything.â Your breath hitches at his answer, your body noticeably frozen as you look for a non-existent lie in his eyes. âMaybe we should take things slow, let you figure out what you want.â
Before he can back away from your personal space, you react. âNo, no, I want this too. I want you.â
Those words coming out of your mouth combined with your hands gripping his shirt to keep him in place quickly make Mingyu regret his previous statement. You're so close, too close to him, saying you want him with your eyes dark and wide.
Mingyuâs hands stay on you, caressing the side of your face as if he was debating whether to give in and kiss you again or do the rational thing. Yours, instead, find the first button at the end of the all too well fitting shirt Mingyuâs wearing, and start unbuttoning it one by one.
âI should take you out on a real date first," Mingyu maintains with a sigh, but not stopping you in your quest.
âI personally think,â at his unmoving body, you take a step closer, with your hands against his chest not daring to sneak under the welcoming fabric, âweâre past that, donât you think?â
For a second, Mingyu thinks youâll be able to feel the rapid beating of his heart, stronger with each second your hands lay on his chest. Rationality is losing the fight against his desire.
âJust making sure this isnât a rebound situation,â Mingyu blurts, even if he doesnât really care about it for himself. Heâd take whatever you give him.
âYou arenât a rebound. This isnât a revenge plot.â You think for a second before you continue, âYou saw me cry way too many times and were there for me at my weakest. You make me feel seen, wanted, and getting to know you has made my life better in ways I couldâve never imagined.â
Your words go through Mingyu's ears and right into his bloodstream, getting warmer and warmer the closer you get. His hands go down your body, encouraging you to move forward until your chests touch.
âI needed you even before I knew what I needed.â You can sense the tears beginning to build up, but you push through. He has to know. âI know what I want now, and itâs you.â
âIf this is a dream, I never wanna wake up,â every word Mingyu says comes with a widening smile.
You chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck with confidence, âI can assure you, it's not.â
As if you've been getting chased by your feelings all this time, putting it into words and letting it all out works, and your brain stops racing. You can finally breathe, think, see.
âSo, was that a no about the date?â As always, Mingyu manages to make you chuckle again, and it reverberates all across both your bodies. Every shiver of his, you feel, with the minimal skin to skin contact against his barely uncovered chest and the tiniest top you found to put on.
âYou can take me on a date another day. Now, I want something else.â You don't know where all this confidence is coming from, but seeing the shock in Mingyu's eyes, it only grows. âYou okay with that?â
âIâll give you anything you want.â
The space between your faces charges with electricity as you take in his words. An unconscious bite on your lower lip pulls his gaze down, egging him to close the space slowly. You almost donât register his advance, focusing on the part of his lips that were just on yours minutes ago.
Thereâs nothing more to be said, no invisible walls to tear down, only you and him and the pull between you, pushing you closer until your breaths mix. After all the obstacles you overcame, and the bumps that lead you to where you are now, thereâs no more time to waste.
When your heads meet again, your tingling lips mold against Mingyuâs for the thousandth time, worried about nothing and wanting it all. And he doesnât hold back either. His hands on your waist venture up inside your top, feeling your back tense at his touch as the fabric crumples up, leaving more of you exposed to him.
You canât hide your craving for him any longer. You follow his rhythm eagerly, making a mess of his hair between your fingers and pushing him further against you. Every touch of his makes you gasp, and he takes the opportunity to kiss down your jaw and neck. His hands and lips everywhere.
âMight as well just take this off.â Mingyuâs lips print a smirk on the sensitive skin of your neck before pulling back. You get what he means immediately as he tugs on your top, taking it off you as soon as you put your arms up.
His hands feel your chest up to his liking, getting to know the places that make you sigh into his mouth. Every touch of his fingers makes that spot light up like fire, and every sound you make encourages Mingyu more and more.
Your hands sneak under his opened shirt, feeling the firmness of his chest directly elicits a groan from Mingyu, making you shiver as you slip the fabric down his arms.
Your living room becomes a clichĂ© mess of scattered clothing before you direct the both of you to your bedroom. You barely have time to drink in Mingyuâs body before youâre falling with your back on the mattress, chest to chest again, bare against one another, free of any fabric in between.
Mingyu slots between your legs effortlessly, a low moan coming from him as his hardening length grinds softly on the crevice between your limbs. His golden skin that was the star of your every dream, finally at your reach, soft and warm under the pads of your fingers.
âGyuââ Words choke up on your throat as you feel his lips wrapping around one of your nipples.
âYou're gorgeous,â His lips against your chest makes you halt your movements, mind focused solely on him, âso pretty, only for me.â
It's almost as if he was talking to himself, but you moan at every compliment, arching your back for more of him. And he loves it. Loves the way you react to the stream of thoughts that run around his brain every time he looks at you.
âFuck!â The curse leaves you both in unison when Mingyu finds his digits against your core.
âI barely even touched you and you're already ready for me?â Mingyu feels your reaction to his words first hand as a wave of arousal hits you.
âFuck you,â you gasp and he chuckles, kissing down your torso until heâs facing your core.
âI'll take care of you, don't worry, baby.â His breath fans at your wet folds, so close to where you want him but still teasing you with his fingers.
Youâre about to fight back when you feel him teasing at your opening, his eyes entranced by how ready you are for him. All the anticipation, the tension between you from the past weeks, culminating at once at this very moment.
The slickness leaking out of you from all the kissing and groping makes it easy for him to set the pace. Mingyuâs fingers stretch your insides with expertise, as if he learned every spot of yours to touch to have you squirming.
The torturously slow thrusts of his fingers drive you crazy, curling and hitting exactly where you need them before heâs pulling back. You donât hold your sounds back, your every reaction letting Mingyu know how good he makes you feel.
âThatâs it, baby,â His low voice sets fire to the blood rushing through your veins, and your walls clamp harder around his fingers.
Your knuckles turn white as you grip the sheets below you, and Mingyuâs other hand has to hold your thighs apart so you donât close them around his head.
âMingyuâshit!â His lips leave a trail of breathy kisses on your inner thigh, trying to help you relax and take him in, but ultimately turning you on further. âGyu, wait.â
âI love that youâre calling me that.â He listens and stops thrusting, leaving his fingers to fully fit inside you.
âI need you.â Youâre not embarrassed to say what you want. Not with him.
âBut you have me?â He tries to tease, but youâre ahead of him already and immediately correct yourself.
âInside.â His fingers adjust themselves inside you, almost making you forget what you were asking for. âI need you to fuck me.â
Mingyu chuckles at your neediness, but you know he wants it just as bad. His rock hard length draws your attention as he stands up and retrieves his wet digits from you, leaking and ready to split you in half.
Thereâs a second of hesitation as he looks at you splayed on the bed, as ready for him as he is for you. You recognize the train of thought going through him and stretch your arm to open the drawer below your nightstand, where you keep condoms just in case.
Itâs sinful, the sight of Mingyu rolling down the condom as his eyes rake up and down your body. When he kneels on the mattress, fitting like a glove between your legs, it takes another kiss of his on each of your spent legs for you to realize that whatâs happening is real.
Caged between both of his arms, his hands holding his weight on both sides of your head, your legs wrap around his waist and push him inside you, at last.
His length fits inside you, opening up your walls to mold to his shape as you both moan.
Your hips collide as he hits your deepest parts. âBeing inside you is gonna kill me.â You can feel the twitching of his cock deep inside you. He paused to let you get used to his size, but the last thing you want to do is wait.
âIâm gonna kill you if you donât move.â
Youâve learned teasing him works wonders, and as soon as those words leave your lips, heâs complying with what you ask of him. âWhatever my princess wants.â
Whatever thoughts you had, they fade at the drag of his length deliciously making you his with each thrust. Deep and slow, he lets you feel everything he has to give before almost pulling out.
The skin of his back becomes the victim of your scratches, your nails digging into his tense muscles with every grind of his hips. But no matter what you do, how you touch him, how loudly you moan, his pace remains at the same torturing speed.
âRelax, baby.â A hand caresses the side of your face, and you realize youâd shut your eyes closed at the feeling of him pushing inside you.
Mingyu lowers his head, flushing your chests together again as he kisses you softly, matching the pace of his thrusts with his tongue tangling with yours. He drinks every sound you make, as they are only for him, and lowers his hand down your torso until it meets your connected cores.
Your sensitive clit feels like fire under the touch of his fingers, circling around it to help you ease up the tension. âThatâs it, baby, taking me so well.â
Everywhere he reaches becomes your new favorite place for him to touch. From your lips, down to your cunt, and all the way inside you, everywhere now has his name written. Youâre his.
The pulsing of your walls around him doesnât cease, becoming quicker and harder the more he continues with the slow pace. Your insides wait for every intoxicating thrust as if starved of him, craving everything he gives you and more.
His lips move on yours, parted and unable to work, mumbling praise you donât get to hear as every one of your senses focuses on the fire inside you threatening to burst. Mingyuâs hips falter, having trouble thrusting inside you as you tighten impossibly tighter around him.
Your vision turns white as your orgasm explodes without so much as a warning. Your legs tremble around Mingyuâs pistoning hips, thrusting endlessly searching for his release.
Mingyuâs broad body falls limp on you as his length twitches, coming inside the condom with a groan while your walls hug him tight.
You lay under him happily, a smile on your face as you stare at the ceiling. He feels warm all around you, a feeling you could get used to. Mingyu canât resist it and kisses you again. Heâll take every opportunity he can get to feel your lips on his.
âWhat's on your mind?â He asks, eyes locking in to yours as he slips out from you before attacking your lips again.
You both smile in the kiss before he stands up to discard the used condom and put his boxers back on. âJust thinking where you can take me on our date.â
He turns around with a glowing smile. âYouâre thinking about that already?â
The way he lays down on your bed with you, naturally wrapping you in his arms and pulling you to him, feels like a dream come true.
âOf course, baby, I always think ahead.â You note the way he blushes when you use that nickname on him and snuggle against him.
Listening to Mingyuâs steady breathing and heartbeat under your ear, drifting to sleep has never been easier.Â
The smell of freshly grounded coffee fills the air around the cafĂ© Mingyu picked. A cozy new place, lighted with yellowy light bulbs and with a space designated to read books you can borrow from the shelves covering the walls. It opened a few weeks ago in his neighborhood and heâs been insisting you try it out together since.
Youâve been on countless dates with him already, but you still feel nervous having him sit by your side in the booth. Still get embarrassed when he asks for a big smoothie with two straws for you both.
You donât see a future where you donât get nervous around him, but heâs always there. A future without him wouldnât be life at all. And the best thing is, Mingyu feels the same way.
âAre you sure theyâre coming?â You ask as your eyes drift to the glass door for the tenth time in the past five minutes.
âI promise they are!â Minguy takes your jaw in his fingers to make you look at him. âRemember to not say anything about the apartment. He'll as her when he's readyâ
âWhat are you talking about?â You ask, feigning cluelessness, and Mingyu chuckles before giving you a peck.
Detaching your lips is always the hardest chore. But after a few awkward instances where you let your kisses deepen in public, you both decided to control yourselves, even in a secluded booth like the one youâre currently in.
Mingyuâs eyes light up watching the street from the window youâre sitting against, and you turn around to see the people youâve been waiting for.Â
Jungkook and Cathlyn walk inside the store holding hands and with matching smiles on their faces as they greet you. How Mingyu convinced them to go out on a double date with you still astonishes you, but youâre glad everything that happened could finally be put behind you.
It was hard at first, even after Jungkook apologized to you, you didnât dare go inside their apartment for months until Mingyu moved in with you a few weeks ago.
As soon as they sit in front of you, the plan youâve been scheming starts. Your eyes lock with Mingyuâs and he instantly realizes what you're about to do, but not even his hand squeezing your thigh under the table can stop you. âSo, Jungkook, what are you going to do now that you live in the apartment alone?â
note: it's finally here!!!
thank you all for being so excited this past month and for reading this monster of a fic i somehow came up with.
if you reached the end, just know that i love you, and i'd love to hear your thoughts <3
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Perfect for Me - Kim Mingyu
Warnings: NSFW, MINORS DNI! (Will block if you have no age) smut with plot [includes unprotected sex (please be safe!), oral (f. receiving)], cursing, includes sensitive topics such as mentions of fat-shaming, and E.D (let me know if I missed anything else) Pairings: Mingyu x Reader Genre: Non-idol, romance, wedding(f. sister's), & boyfriend!mingyu, bigd!ckmingyu Word Count: 6,700+ a/n: Mingyu being a green flag, showing his girl how perfect she is for him! đ«Łđ€ Also, this is barely proofread, so... yeah
With much excitement, you place the last item, your pink makeup bag, into the corner of the suitcase. You leaned back to scan the perfectly packed luggage before you clasped your hands together, officially ready to go.
âAll done!â you whispered to yourself, almost squealing.
Just as you closed your suitcase and zipped it, you heard, âBabe, are you ready?â
You turned your head toward the door, and there he wasâyour boyfriend, Mingyuâleaning against the frame with one hand in his pocket, the other tousling his dark hair that fell right above his eyes. He wore relaxed linen pants and a light cardigan that made him look effortlessly handsome and soft. It was the perfect look for the location you were going to.
âReady to go?â he asked again, voice soft but filled with excitement.
You stared for just a moment too long, taking in how unfairly attractive he looked, even in something so simple. You felt your cheeks heat up, and your heart was racing. Somehow, he always did that to you, reminding you how lucky you were, making you question how someone with such a kind heart and breathtaking as he chose you of all people.
You quickly turn away to focus on the handle of your suitcase.
âReady!â You replied, grabbing the handle quickly before he could catch the blush growing on your face.
It took just a couple strides with his long legs, he was standing in front of you, taking over.
âLet me grab that for you,â he said, effortlessly taking the handle from you as it weights nothing.
He glanced at you with that soft smile, sparkly eyes that made your heart melt. Then, with fingers brushing lightly against yours, he reached for your hand where it slid perfectly into his.
âYou look beautiful in that dress,â he said, complimenting your light yellow, flowy dress that fell just above your knee. You blushed, thanking him with a kiss on his cheeks.
---
Just a few hours later, you stepped off the airplane and took your first breath of Hawaii. You were hit with the scent of ocean breeze, plumeria flowers, and the sweetness of happiness. You spun slowly, heart light, trying to take it in the lush green mountains, the blue waves, the sway of palm trees that danced in the sun.
The beauty of the island captivated your heart, and you couldnât help the giddy smile that stretched across your face.
Click.
You blinked, startled by the sound, and turned to see Mingyu holding up his phone.
âMingyu!â you gasped, âDelete that!â
He grinned, his eyes crinkled as he began backing away with his phone held above his head. âAbsolutely not,â he said smugly. âYou looked so cute just now!â
You let out a playful groan and lunged for the phone, but he sidestepped easily, far too used to your antics. âYou always do this!â you pouted, crossing your arms as you glared at him.
âAnd I always win,â he said with a wink, stepping closer. He cupped your chin gently, giving it a soft pinch. âBut I love when you pout. Youâre too adorable.â
You rolled your eyes, but let out a defeated laugh. Before you could respond, he leaned in and kissed you, tender, slow, and full of affection.
When he pulled away, his voice was a whisper. âWeâre here.â
You smiled against his shoulder, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. âLetâs go make some memories.â
The Uber rolled to a gentle stop in front of the Hilton. The door opened, and a bellman stood there with a courteous smile. âWelcome to the Hilton, maâam,â he greeted with a extended hand.
âThank you,â you said warmly, accepting his hand as you stepped out.
You barely had time to adjust to the brightness of the sun when you heard itâyour name.
âY/N!â
You turned, eyes searching the entrance until you spotted herâTiffany, your big sister, waving both arms as she ran barefoot across the walkway, her sandals dangling from her fingers.
You barely had time to brace before she threw her arms around you. âOh my gosh, youâre here!â she squealed, hugging you so tight your feet almost lifted off the ground.
You laughed, wrapping your arms around her. âI miss you too sis!â
She pulled away slightly to look at you, her eyes shimmering with excitement. âI still canât believe itâs happening.â
You smiled, taking a moment to look at her. Her hair was pulled up in a casual bun, her tank top tucked into a breezy skirt, and despite the simple look, there was a glow about herâpure happiness. She had always been the strong, independent big sister who held everything together, and now she looked different.
The look of love.
âYou look so happy, unnie,â you whispered, a lump forming in your throat.
She nodded, voice lower. âI am.â
Behind you, Mingyu was already unloading the luggage, greeting John with a respectful nod and a big hug. The men exchanged laughs and began talking about life like they were old acquaintances. It made you smileâhow easily Mingyu fit into your life, into your family.
Tiffany looped her arm through yours. âCome on,â she said with a grin. âI have so much to show you! And wait until you see your bridesmaid dress. Youâre going to love it.â
You followed her toward the hotel entrance, heart full and floating, fingers brushing the silky petals of a flower lei around your neck.
You looked at Tiffany, her glowing face.
Tiffany.
Your sister. Your second mom. Your forever role model.
Five years older than you, Tiffany was someone you wanted to be when you grew up. From a young age, she was the one who held the umbrella over your head when it rained, packed your lunch when Mom forgot, and braided your hair when you asked.
Growing up, Tiffany had this way of making everything feel like it would be okayâeven if it wasnât. She had answers for questions you didnât know how to ask, and even when she was stern, you knew it was because she cared. People called her intimidating sometimes, maybe it was the sharp way she could cut through nonsense or the way she always seemed so put-together, but you knew better. Beneath her demeanor, her heart was soft for the people she loved.
And now, here she was.
A bride.
You could hardly believe it.
Tiffany had always been the one who didn't need anyone. She built her life piece by piece. She was the woman who didnât cry at sad movies, who carried grocery bags in one trip, and who fixed her own leaky faucet just because she could. Love wasnât something she chased; she didnât trust it easily.
Until John.
John came into her life gently and slowly. Â And instead of challenging her independence, he respected it. He gave her a place to rest, to breathe, to be the version of herself she never had time to be before.
You saw it in the way she laughed more freely. How she didnât rush to fix everything, because someone was finally looking after her. She could cry nowâand not apologize for it.
She was both partsâthe girl who built armor and the woman who now dared to take it off.
And you? You were proud.
---
The outdoor hotel restaurant was airy and warm, filled with the soft sounds of waves crashing in the distance and hushed conversations of others. You sat at a long table beneath an open lanai, the golden sun casting soft glows your family. Your dad was laughing with John about something, Tiffany was showing your mom something on her phone, and Mingyu was sitting beside you, legs brushing gently against yours beneath the table.
The conversation were updates about work, funny memories, wedding excitement, untilâŠ
âOh my,â your mom said suddenly next to you, her voice playful with eyes on you. âYouâve gained some weight, havenât you?â
The words stung immediately. Your fork hovered mid-air, and before you could respond, she gave your upper arm a playful pinch.
You tensed. Instinctively, your other arm wrapped around yourself in defense. âI just gained a little weight,â you said softly, trying to laugh it off. âMingyu and I workout often lifting weight so, I probably just look thicker than usual.â
Mingyu always noticed when your energy changed. His gaze flicked to you with his expression unreadable, but his hand found yours under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze.
It was the typical Korean mom thing to say and just when you hoped sheâd stop, she didnât. âLifting weights will make you look muscular. Just donât eat too much today and tomorrow, okay? Youâll look too fat in the bridesmaid dress.â
You looked up at her, blinking, trying to keep your voice even. âMom, can I just⊠eat?â
She sighed, dramatically. âTiffany worked so hard to look perfect for her wedding. The least you could do is try to look good for the pictures.â
There it was, that old, familiar jab. Always shadowed by your sisterâs perfect imageâher accomplishments, her looks, her everything. Tiffany had always been the one people praised. Pretty. Thin. Successful. And you? You were the one with âpotentialâ and was âcute, butâŠâ
It wasnât new. But it still hurt.
Your voice rose slightly, cracked with restrained emotion. âMomâŠâ
You didnât need to finish. Mingyuâs hand squeezed tighter, grounding you. Tiffanyâs eyes snapped up from her plate.
âMom, she looks fine,â Tiffany firm said. âBetter than fine, actually. Let her eat in peace.â
Your mom clicked her tongue, dismissive. âSheâs so short-tempered. I canât say anything without her getting emotional. Itâs just constructive criticism.â
Tiffany frowned, her brows knitting as she shook her head. âYou call it criticism. I call it harmful.â
She turned back to you. âEat. Donât listen. Youâre on vacation.â
You nodded slightly, trying to focus on the food in front of you, but your appetite had already vanished.
---
After lunch, you strolled along the beach with your family. When the sun began to lower in the sky, it casted everything in soft coral light. Mingyu held your hand as your feet sank slightly into the sand, but your thoughts were somewhere else. You faked a smile every time someone said something to you. You said all the right things, but inside, you were aching.
Now, back in the hotel room, you stood in front of the bathroom mirror.
The bathroom light was too harsh. Too honest.
You turned sideways, then straight on again, examining your curves. Yes, your hips were slightly wider, your arms fuller but that wasnât from laziness. You had been weightlifting. Your body was stronger than it used to be. Healthier, even.
But all you could hear were your motherâs words.
Too fat. Ruining the pictures. Not good enough.
You looked away quickly as your heart tightened in your chest, eyes burning. You hadnât cried about this stuff in years, but suddenly you felt like a teenager again when you counted calories, skipped meals, compared yourself to Tiffanyâs untouched plate.
Back then, it was a battle that no one noticed.
Then you heard a knock that pulled you out from your thoughts.
âBabe, you okay in there?â Mingyuâs voice was gentle on the other side of the door.
You blinked, and a tear slid down your cheek. You wiped it away fast and turned on the sink.
âIâm okay. Be out in a minute,â you said, voice light.
âAlright. Just call me if you need anything.â
You splashed cool water on your face, watching the droplets slide down your cheeks before patting them dry. You couldnât let him see you like this because you didnât want him to worry.
But as soon as you stepped into the room, Mingyu turned toward you, attention all on you, entire body alert with soft smile.
He took one look at your face, and the smile faded.
Without hesitation, he stepped forward, cupping your face in both hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks. One hand slid gently to the back of your head, anchoring you.
âHey. Whatâs going on?â he whispered.
You tried to smile, shaking your head. âIâm just not feeling well. Maybe you should go to dinner without me.â
His gaze didnât waver. He knew. He always knew.
âItâs your mom again, isnât it?â
You let out a shaky sigh and dropped your eyes.
âShe always does this,â you whispered. âShe always makes me feel like Iâm not good enough. I could lose ten pounds, and sheâd still find something.â
Mingyuâs jaw flexed, but his voice stayed calm, loving. âBaby⊠youâre more than enough. Youâre everything.â
You looked up at him then, meeting his eyes. That look the one that said you were beautiful, exactly as you were, truthfully.
He kissed your forehead, then rested his own gently against yours.
âItâs your sisterâs rehearsal dinner. You wouldnât want to miss it, right? he said softly.
You swallowed, nodded your head.
âAnd if you donât want to eat much, thatâs okay. But I want you to eat something. Just a little. Tomorrowâs a big day.â
You nodded again, and he smiled.
âThatâs my girl,â he whispered planting a kiss on your cheeks. âMy gorgeous, strong, perfect girl.â
---
Dinner was in full swing with string lights twinkling above, laughter echoing across the room, and soft island music played in the background. The smell of grilled seafood, fresh fruit, and warm garlic bread filled the air as you wove through guests greeting cousins, old family friends, and Tiffanyâs bridesmaidsâmany of whom felt like your honorary older sisters.
You wore a slightly tight-fitted sundress, a soft blush pink that hugged your curves in all the right places. The fabric clung gently to your waist and hips, showing off the shape you worked hard for, with delicate straps and a subtle sweetheart neckline that framed your collarbones. You had been nervous about it earlier, but it was elegant, romantic, even flattering to the point that Mingyu wouldn't stop complimenting you on the way down. Still, you couldnât help but tug at the sides occasionally, hoping no one was looking too closely.
âYouâve grown so beautifully into your features,â one of Tiffanyâs friends said, pulling you into a warm hug.
âSeriously, Y/N, youâre glowing,â another said, placing a gentle hand on your arm. âAnd that man of yoursâŠâ She turned her eyes across the room to where Mingyu was laughing with one of your uncles who was pouring him shots.
You followed her gaze. Mingyu was glowing in his white button-up slightly rolled at the sleeves, a few undone at the top, and his smile lighting up his entire face.
âGirl,â she whispered, nudging your side. âYou hit the jackpot.â
âI did, didnât I?â you said with a soft laugh.
Soon after, more compliments came your way.
âWhoâs that tall, handsome man you brought with you?â one aunt teased. âHeâs like a Korean drama lead. Good looks, good manners, AND he helped me carry a plate.â
You laughed, cheeks warm. âThatâs Mingyu.â
âI like him,â another cousin said. âThe way he looks at you, seems like weâll be hearing wedding bells soon!â
âOh no! Weâre still too young!â
Someone called him over, and when he arrived at your side, you could see the moment he realized everyone had been talking about him.
âOh no,â he said with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck.
âSheâs a lucky girl, huh?â someone teased.
âNo, Iâm the lucky one,â Mingyu replied instantly, his voice earnest as his ears turned an adorable shade of pink.
You couldnât help but smile up at him, your heart fluttering despite everything.
Soon after greeting everyone, you could, you made your way toward the buffet, excited to try the grilled seafood and the truffle risotto everyone was raving about. Just as you picked up your plate, you heard your motherâs voice behind you.
âHave you tried on your bridesmaid dress yet?â
You turned to her. âNot yet. I was going to later tonightââ
Before you could finish, she grabbed your wrist lightly but firmly. âCome. Try it on now. We need to make sure it fits before the last minute.â
âMom, Iâm in the middle ofââ
âItâll only take a moment,â she insisted with that familiar edge in her tone, already leading you away from the crowd.
Back in your room, you stood in front of the mirror, dress zipped up, hands fidgeting at your sides.
It fit, perfectly.
Snuggly, but perfect. The fabric hugged your waist and curved over your hips. You turned slightly, trying to get a full view. It wasnât bad at all. In fact, you thought you looked⊠okay. Kind of beautiful, even.
Your mom, however, let out a disapproving breath.
âHm. Itâs tighter than it should be.â She circled around you slowly like she was inspecting a product on a shelf. âYou look too full hereââ she patted your hip, ââand here.â Her fingers grazed your arm.
You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly tight. âIt fits, though. I mean⊠it zipped up.â
She tilted her head. âJust barely. You shouldâve cut out the snacks and sweets. I warned you, didnât I?â
That invisible weight you always carried the one labeled not good enough slammed back down on your shoulders.
âEveryone else is going to be slim in the pictures,â she added, adjusting the strap on your dress. âYou donât want to be the one ruining the bridal party photo.â
Your breath caught in your chest. You blinked quickly, willing the tears to stay back.
But one slipped out anyway.
âMom, please stop.â
She looked startled, as if your tears were an overreaction.
âIâm just being honest,â she said flatly, stepping back.
You turned around, arms wrapping around yourself. âI donât want to go back down.â
âDonât be such a crybaby! Go wash your face. Fix your makeup. Smile.â
You didnât answer. You just stared at your reflection. And for a moment, you didnât recognize yourself, not because of how you looked, but because of how small you suddenly felt.
Back downstairs, the laughter and music hit your ears again, but none of it felt the same.
You hovered by the edge of the room, unsure of where to go or what to say, until Mingyu found you.
âThere you are,â he said, relief softening his features. âYou, okay?â
You nodded too quickly. âYeah. JustâŠâ You puffed out your cheeks to hold your emotions. "Do my hips look big to you?"
He looked at you, long and deep, his dark eyes scanning your face like he could see through every crack in your composure.
âWhat happened upstairs?â he asked gently.
You shook your head. âNothing, Iâm okay.â
He didnât budge. âNo, itâs not okay. Let's go get you something to eat." He said, trying to pull you to the buffet.
You shook your head because you had already lost your appetite.
He turned fully to you and leaned down. "You need to eat something, baby.â
You hesitated. Then, slowly, you took a plate and picked at a small portion of food. Just enough to make him stop worrying. You forced a smile when he sat beside you. And when he reached for your hand under the table, you squeezed it backâsoftly, gratefully.
---
After mingling, chatting, and drinking a couple of cocktails, you wandered back to your room, tipsy just enough for your head to feel floaty.
But your heart was heavy.
You felt like everyone had seen you smiling and laughing, but no one saw the truth behind your eyes. You felt bloated, scrutinized, and insecure. Your reflection from earlier still haunted you.
The door clicked shut behind you, and before you could even take a breath, Mingyu wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.
He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. âI missed you,â he murmured.
You sighed, melting into his embrace, your body molding into his like it always did, safe, warm, familiar. You could tell that he, too, was feeling the drinks that your male cousins and uncles were handing him back to back.
You stood in silence for a moment, listening to how both of your breaths synced with one another. Then he whispered softly, words slightly slurring, âCan I confess something?â
You hummed, wondering what he was going to say that could boost your ego. Because when it came to Mingyu, you were usually in a world of surprises.
He pulled away from you, but his hands remained on your shoulder as he stood behind. Gently, he turned your body to face the mirror on the left side before he swept your long hair to your back. Â
One hand was on your hip as the other wrapped across your chest. His chin rested on your shoulder when you felt his breath on your neck. He neared your ear to whisper, making your heart skip a beat as you hold your breath.
âLook at you,â he began, âYouâre the most beautiful person Iâve ever seen.â
His words made you swallow while looking at your own reflection in the mirror. You watched the way he was looking down at you and werenât sure where he was going with this, but you knew he had more to say, so you listened.
âYou donât have to be enough for your mom. Youâre already more than enough for me, so perfect for me. Youâre beautiful. Strong. Sexy. Smart. And so, so loved.â
You tried to smile, lips trembling seeing the way Mingyu made eye contact from you through the mirror. He moved his hands, both squeezing your arms.
As he continued to speak in that low, deep, husky voice of his, he didnât look away. Instead, he locked eyes with you, firmer. âYou are one of the strongest women Iâve met, both mentally and physically. The way you work so hard in the gym, so focused, so strong. I couldnât have asked for a more perfect girlfriend who is willing to work out with me.â
You donât know what clicked in him, but youâve seen this side of him multiple times and you knew exactly what was going to happen next and you were ready for it. You wanted it.
You watch how his hands travelled down to your hips, making your body twitch from his touch.
âYou asked if your hips were too big, but I think theyâre perfect because you have the most beautiful, luscious ass that makes men turn their heads,â then he let out a soft chuckle. âI mean, of course, Iâll fight anyone who looks at it because itâs all for me.â
You felt the rumble of his laughter in his chest, making you smile slightly, amused by his words.
Then he continued.
âAnd you know, this dress youâre wearing,â he lowered his head slightly, planting a kiss on your shoulder where you once again, melted into him.
âYouâre so fucking sexy that I couldnât stop staring during dinner.â
You brought your hands up and placed them over his. You felt the way your heart and something else were throbbing for him to do something more.
âMingyu,â you whispered, almost whimpering for him to continue touching you.
His arm wrapped around your shoulder again with his hand lifting your chin up to look up, your eyes locking with his.
There was an unspeakable emotion between you two. Your pain and gratitudeâhis concern and admiration. You wanted to tell him how much it meant to you, how lucky you felt, how broken youâd felt hours earlier, but the words wouldnât come out.
âYouâre perfect.â
And that was enough for you. You reached for him, and he leaned down to you you, lips crashing into yours with more emotion than either of you expected. It was a kiss full of affection and urgency, rushed and hungry, like he wanted to kiss the pain out of you and needed to remind you that in his eyes, you were perfect.
You felt his hand travel to your waist where he turned your body to face him before he pulled your body against his. You brought your arms up, wrapping around his neck. And in that moment, you didnât feel self-conscious or insecure.
You felt loved, desired and safe, but most of all his perfect girl.
The kiss grew hotter, needier, and wetter with his tongue exploring every cavern in your mouth as his hand roamed up and down your body before his hand settled on your ass, squeezing it.
You moaned in between, letting him know you felt his love not only through his words of affirmation, but through his kiss. His touch.
You felt his hands brush up your arm before he unzipped the back of your dress and then lowered the straps before letting the top fall, settling above your sexy, wide hips. He hoisted the fabric of your dress and broke the kiss to pull the dress over your head before tossing it somewhere in the room.
Carefully, he pushed you against the mirror on the wall where he took all of the perfection of your body in. âSo perfect and this is all mine,â he mumbled.
You smiled, this time, a real genuine one.
But also⊠âMingyu, I need-â
âI know, baby, I need you too,â he said, placing a chaste kiss on your lips.
âLet me show you tonight that I mean every word I say.â
Mingyu placed a petaled kiss on your neck to your jaw. You opened your eyes and met his gaze as he lowered himself to his knees. His hand grabbed the hem of your panties and pulled it down to your ankle where he lifted both feet before tossing it to the direction of your dress.
You watched as he placed your feet on his shoulder, his hand travelled up from your ankle to steadying your leg with his hand right above your knee. He placed a gentle kiss on your inner thigh, making you shiver.
Then he lifted his other hand, bringing his hand to your wet cunt, exploring your folds with his fingers.
You instinctively grabbed his hand, but it didnât bother him. He continue flicking your folds.
âHmmm, my perfect girl is so wet for me,â he said before promptly inserting two fingers into your hot cunt.
Seconds later, his face was buried between your legs, his mouth on your throbbing clit, sucking it, making you throw your head back, letting out a soft moan.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe⊠no.
Mingyu was just really fucking good at making you feel really fucking good.
He wrapped his arm around your thigh, making sure you kept open for him. You looked down at him and saw how he was ravishing you from below. You felt the way his tongue lapped between your throbbing lips, sucking every juice coming out from you as he grumbled through his throat like a starved man.
âAh! Min-â you began panting his name when the sensation hit you.
It wasnât anything he hadnât heard before, but somehow, more than ever, he felt proud hearing your pretty, perfect little moans ring in his head as he continued to eat you out. âThis perfect pussy is all mine,â he moaned, lips barely parting from you.
âYeah, Gyu feels so good,â you whined.
When the sensation of being eaten out so good while standing hit you, your knees became weak, almost buckling under. With nothing to hold, your hand landed in his hair, fingers threading through the strands while your body arched from the pleasure. You grind your cunt against his mouth, wanting him to devour impossibly more.
âGyu,â Your jaw dropped open, almost unable to continue your words. âIâm gonna-â You rolled your eyes, head thrown back, âcum.â
But he didnât stop. If anything, you felt like his moans get loader with it vibrating against your core, as if telling you to cum all over his tongue. And when your body began to tremble, he looked up and watched you as you released your all over his tongue.
Your breath was ragged, and you were out of focus, not realizing that Mingyu had already put your other feet on the ground and was now standing up.
You turned over, supporting yourself against the mirror, and immediately, it gave him an idea.
Quickly, Mingyu unbuckled his belt and undid the button of his pants before pulling both his pants and boxers to his ankles. When you heard his belt hit the ground, you saw from the reflection how erect his cock was when it slapped against his abdomen. You pushed yourself off the mirror and placed one hand on his muscular abdomen as the other grabbed his big cock in your small hands. You could never fully grasp around it because of how big it was and you loved it most when he filled your warm hole up. You wanted to return the favorite to him, but before you could get on your knees, he hoisted your arms up to stop you. âBaby, tonight is about you,â he said, making your cunt throb once more for him.
Quickly, he threw his shirt before he began bumping his cock. Carefully, he turned you to look at the mirror again as his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him. You felt his throbbing cock on your back, and you just wanted to feel it inside of you.
âGyu please, I need you in me,â you begged.
He kissed your cheeks, then your ears. âLook at how perfect your body is for me. Itâs fine if you were skinnyâŠâ
Suddenly, quickly, but gently, he leaned you over, placed your palms against the mirror, pressing his body on yours from behind.
One hand was on your ass and the other one was squeezing your breast.
âBut at how perfect you look right now,â he licked his lips, âSo much more for me here,â he said. Then he pulled away and promptly smacked your ass, taking you by surprise, but loving it regardless.
âThis perfect ass,â he said, slapping your ass with his cock, âmine.â
He put his hands on your hips and leaned down, planting a kiss on your lower back. He stood up, guiding his tip to your entrance.
âWatch.â
That very second, he entered you, he let out a deep growl, feeling you stretch and perfectly fitting around him. The way he slid into you so easily made the moment feel so real and raw as if you were perfectly made for him.
At first, he went slow to let you get used to his size. Then with each thrust, he began to speed up his pace, balls to ass.
Tears brimmed your eyes as you mewled out, calling his name when he thrusted with so much force. Then you looked up at yourself and saw how you were unraveling. And it drove you crazier when you saw the way his lips were agape, breathing heavily before he threw his head back.
âMy perfect baby always taking my cock so well in her perfect pussy,â he chanted out.
Your moans and screams only encouraged him to go harder, hoping that by now, you knew how perfect you were for him.
Soon, you felt like your arms were going to give up on you, and thatâs when your walls began clenching around him. Â
âWait for me baby,â he mumbled through his trembling groans.
âGyu- I canât-â you cried out.
You came all over him, shaking in the position you were in and with a few more hard thrusts, he came after you. He pulled out, huffing and puffing your name under his breath.
You leaned against the wall and when it felt like you were going to fall over, Mingyu caught you by the waist. You turned to face him and immediately turned to face him, placing your lips over him and kissing him hard.
But he wasnât done yet.
You felt his hand grab the back of your legs. He hoisted you up with his strong arms, helping you wrap each leg around his waist. You held his broad shoulder when he held your waist, inserting your throbbing cunt with his cock.
You threw your head back with that feeling of him inside you making you softly tremble. Then you leaned down, capturing his lips and kissing him feverishly while he carried you to the bed, climbing on it. âI love you,â you mumbled in between the kiss.
He broke the kiss, gazing his tipsy eyes into yours and smiled. âI love you so much too,â he said before he continued to whisper nothing but loving words to you.
---
The morning of the wedding, you were greeted by the sound of the wave splashing from outside and the smell of fresh brewed coffee. It was clear, meaning the window was opened.
Sunlight shone through sheer white curtains fluttering with the sea breeze. The sheets were already rumpled, and when you reached out to feel for him, Mingyuâs absence was noted. You blinked sleep from your eyes and turned toward the soft sound of the ocean, realizing the balcony door was open.
Slipping out of bed, you padded across the cool floor and put on a robe before stepping outside. There, Mingyu was, sitting on the edge of the chair, his broad shoulders bathed in gold morning light, coffee in hand, gaze locked on the ocean.
You wrapped your arms around him from behind, resting your cheek against his back. His body was warm, solid, and the moment you touched him, he set his cup down and intertwined his fingers with yours.
âDid you sleep well?â he asked softly, his voice still rough from sleep.
You hummed before inhaling his scent of cologne, coffee, salt from the sea air.
He lifted your hand and gently caressed it with his thumb. Then he tilted his head, catching your eyes.
âI thought youâd be tired,â he murmured, eyes twinkling. âItâs going to be a long day. I was going to let you sleep a little longer.â
You shook your head, slipping into his lap with a lazy grin and wrapping your arms around his neck. âIâm sore, though,â you teased, feigning innocence with a small pout.
He scrunched his nose, that expression you loved. âI wonder why,â he replied, mischievously, brushing your hair away from your face.
You swatted his chest, and he chuckled, kissing your temple. âSo cute,â he whispered, smiling at you.
You hid your head on his shoulder, hiding the embarrassment on your face.
His hand was running up and down your thigh, grinning knowingly. His hands were so big that your thighs could almost fit in his hands.
âOne more round before we get ready to go down?â
You quickly perched up and smacked him again, making him giggle before nuzzling his nose into your neck.
---
Later that afternoon, the wedding venue came to life on the lush green lawn overlooking the ocean. White roses and babyâs breath hung from every arch, while baby blue satin ribbons swayed in the breeze like waves behind them. Chairs were lined on both sides of the aisle with delicate florals draped along the ends. Crystal fairy lights hung in delicate strands, sparkling like stars in the daylight.
Mingyu looked like he stepped out of a drama, dressed in a light dove gray suit with a baby blue tie, the soft color drawing out the warmth in his skin and the sparkle in his deep brown eyes. His hair was neatly parted, revealing his full features, his jawline sharp yet soft with affection.
He had been helping your father and Johnny with the set-up earlier, lifting, organizing, and solving last-minute issues with that same calm smile that charmed everyone.
At one point, your dad came in to check up on you and your sister. âYou really got yourself a good one,â he said to you with a proud grin. One of Tiffanyâs friends giggled, âHeâs even better looking in person. You hit the jackpot.â
You blushed, hiding your face behind your hand at the compliments.
Just before the ceremony started, your phone buzzed with a message from him:
âPlease, just a peek? I canât wait to see you.â
You smiled at your screen, already flustered. You wanted to go out there and run into his arms and let him shower you with compliments, but your nosy sister peeked at your phone.
Tiffany saw the way you were smiling and smirked. âNope. You look too beautiful! Heâs not seeing you until you walk down the aisle.â
You rolled your eyes, letting out a soft chuckle.
âUnnie, Iâm not the bride here, you are!â
She shook her head, then shifted, her undivided attention on you. âBy the way, youâre glowing. What happened last night?â she added with a wink.
You gasped softly, then swatted her arm at the nerve your sister had to ask you such a question, but you smiled knowingly to her. After all, you two were close enough to share these kinds of things.
âIâm leaving,â you say as you walk away to the full body mirror. You looked into the mirror, smoothed down your dressâa silk, baby blue number that hugged your figure just right. The neckline dipped slightly, showing just enough, while the fit accentuated the curve of your waist and hips. Your hair was styled in a soft, curly updo with loose strands framing your face. You felt⊠beautiful. Nervous. But beautiful.
---
Outside, where everyone was sitting, the piano music began to play. All of the bridesmaids had already walked out. You turned to Tiffany and saw her eyes glistening. âDonât cry,â she whispered, voice tight with emotion. You nodded, but your throat was already thick.
Being the maid of honor, you were the last to walk down the aisle before the bride. As you stepped forward arm in arm with the final groomsmen, the crowd turned. You looked around before you locked eyes with Mingyu.
You saw the way his mouth parted slightly, eyes wide, heart written across his face. He looked utterly stunned. Like heâd never seen anyone more breathtaking.
As you reached the altar and stood at your place, Tiffany appeared at the top of the aisle. Johnnyâs expression crumpled with emotion as she walked toward him, radiant and strong. You took her bouquet and stepped aside, eyes on her, heart full.
You looked back at Mingyu to ground your nerves and try not to cry. You saw the way he smiled, and his eyes sparkled.
âSo beautiful,â he mouthed as he watched you walk down the aisle.
You blushed before mouthing back to him, âSo handsome.â
The vows came, raw, loving, vulnerable. Tiffany spoke about finally letting herself rest in someoneâs arms. Johnny called her his home.
All of their beautiful words that they exchanged made you even more emotional. You saw the love in your soon-to-be brother in laws eyes, and it made you sniffled. You were trying to hold it in, then you looked at Mingyu.
He was watching you the whole time.
âDonât cry,â he mouthed, eyes soft.
But when he added, âI love you,â silently from across the aisle, your breath hitched, and a single tear escaped.
You mouthed it back, âI love you too.â
When they kissed to seal the vows, and the crowd erupted into cheers. You clapped, your heart full, cheeks damp.
---
That evening, the reception was filled with laughter and joy. Guests played wedding games, like trivia about the bride and groom and âguess the dance moveâ challenges. The father-daughter dance was a tearjerker, Tiffany danced with your dad to a soft ballad, both smiling with glossy eyes.
Later, Mingyu reached for your hand, pulling you gently to the dance floor as a slow song began to play. He spun you into him, holding you close. His hand rested warm against your back, the other laced with your fingers.
âYouâre glowing,â he whispered against your ear.
âYou said that already this morning,â you replied shyly.
You were reminded of the way he made love to you once more that morning before you both officially decided to get ready to join everyone in preparing for the wedding.
His fingers intertwined into yours as he gazed into your eyes. With the sun brightly shining into your room, you clearly saw the way Mingyu was looking at you like you were his whole world.
âYouâre so beautiful, I canât believe your all mine,â he mumbled softly into your ears.
You know that it wasnât just sex that you were having, but it was love-making. You felt every emotion flow out from him and the way he whispered love into your ears as your moans sang together rhythmically.
You clutched onto his strong, muscular arms, and tears welled in your eyes. âMingyu~â you whimpered as he gave you his all.
âMe too baby,â he said.
With just a few more thrusts, your body shook, and he came with you, filling you up.
He fell on top of you, still inside, not pulling out. âI love you so much,â he said, planting a kiss on your temple. Â
âI love you, too,â you mumbled.
You both lay in the bed for a bit longer before you began to complain about how heavy he was getting. He laughed, pulling out from you, making you feel a bit empty.
He pushed himself up, showering you with kisses all over your face.
âGod, youâre so beautiful. Glowing for me.â
It made you giggle, and heart warm.
âCanât help it. Youâre everything to me.â
Your bodies moved in slow rhythm, melting into each other as the sun dipped below the oceanâs edge. When the music faded, he leaned in and kissed your forehead, then your lips, tender, warm.
As the night quieted, you both slipped away from the party, barefoot as you walked toward the beach hand in hand. The moonlight silvered the sand as the waves whispered against the shore.
He stopped and turned to you, placing both hands on your cheeks.
âIâve always known,â he said, voice soft and sure. âBut seeing you today, up there⊠I canât wait to marry you one day.â
You blinked as your heart pound against your chest, and tears welled up again.
âI canât wait either,â you whispered, voice trembling.
Then he kissed you, full of affection, rushed with longing, and hungry with love. His hands tangled in your hair, yours gripped his suit button up as your lips met. It was the kind of kiss that left you breathless and knew no words could ever replace it.
Because in that moment, it wasnât just Tiffany who had her fairytale ending.
Yours was already unfolding.
"I love you," he whispered into your ears with the wind.
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a bridesmaid's to do list, kim mingyu [teaser]
When your best friend Jihyo is getting married, you're nothing less than thrilled. Your excitement dies a little when you find out that your ex will be attending. Luckily, your friends have already found a solution!
đ”the only exception, paramore đ” you are in love, taylor swift đ”margaret, lana del rey đ”daylight, taylor swift
pairing: kim mingyu x fem!reader cw: alcohol consumption, strong language tags: (kind of)strangers to lovers, fake dating, fluff, a little bit of angst, he fell first and harder (yuppp), wedding au
Youâre currently sitting on your couch, 3 wine glasses in. You lay your head on Seulgiâs shoulder, since sheâs the only one sitting next to you. The girlâs talking to Seungkwan, whoâs sitting on the floor in front of her. You can hear Vernon, Sana and Mingyu talking in the kitchen, probably pouring themselves more wine â you really canât blame them. To be honest, you donât even know whatâs the occasion for this gathering, or where the rest of your friends went, but youâre way too busy sipping on your fourth glass of wine. The group that was in the kitchen walks back to the living room, and youâre making eye contact with Mingyu almost immediately. Â
Itâs not like you and Mingyu are friends. Of course, you know him â he's Vernonâs best friend after all, youâve met him a handful of times. Neither of you interacted with each other much, except for group hangouts like this. You didnât really know that much about Mingyu. You knew that he runs his own restaurant, which you had been to with Vernon multiple times. You knew that he has a cat, since Vernon took care of it when Mingyu was on vacation. To be completely honest â that might be all of your knowledge when it comes to Kim Mingyu. It does kind of make you jealous â seeing how effortlessly he strikes up a conversation with everyone in the room. Why does he never talk to you? Â
You must have had a grimace on your face, because Seungkwan looked at you concerned. âAre you okay? Youâre sulkingâ he nudged your calf with his foot. âWhatâs got you so worried?âÂ
âOh, itâs nothing. Just thinking about Jihyoâs and Joshuaâs weddingâ you didnât completely lie â you were thinking about it, until Mingyu walked into the room.Â
âRight, Jaehyunâ Sana said in a cold voice.Â
No one noticed, but Mingyu visibly perked up at the mention of your ex â if heâd been sober, then he would have tried to be much less obvious about it. Mingyu knew about Jaehyun and his actions, since Vernon had come to him numerous times, hoping that he would give him some advice on how to free you from the monsterâs hands â Vernon's words, not his. Â
âI just donât want to see him at all. Also, Iâm sure that he will try and talk to me. Iâve had to block his number four times, because he kept messaging me from new onesâ you frowned, drinking all the wine left in your glass at once. Â
âGod, I donât even have words to describe that filthy fucking-â you stopped Seulgi from continuing by placing your hand on her mouth.Â
âWait! I think I have a good idea!â Seungkwan exclaimed. âHow about you and Vernon go to the wedding together and pretend to be a couple? Maybe heâll leave you alone, since he was so insecure because of him?â he rolled his eyes while the last sentence left his mouth. Â
âArenât we too old to do that? Besides, he would think that he was right. You know, accusing me of cheating on him with VernonâÂ
âWhy donât you take Mingyu instead? He can be scary sometimes!â Vernon exclaimed, definitely proud of his idea.Â
âI donât know about that second thingâ you snorted, making the rest of your friends laugh.Â
âHey! I can be scary if I want to! Iâm tall and probably more handsome than Jaehyun! I can do it!â Mingyu pouted, crossing his arms on his chest.Â
âSure, buddyâ Seulgi patted his shoulder. Â
âGuys, donât laugh at me! Y/N, I can do it! Seriously! Iâll be the best scary fake boyfriend on planet earth! He wonât even dare to look at you!âÂ
âWhy do you want to do it so bad anyways?â you asked the man, visibly confused.Â
âBecause I really want to prove you guys wrong, and all of you will be there. Iâm the only one that didnât get an invite, and I get that itâs because I donât even know Jihyo and Joshua that well, but I would be very sad if all of you were having fun and I was sitting at home. And obviously, I want to help you, Y/Nâ Mingyu said with a pout on his face, and after not receiving a response from anyone, he added âWell, also because I really love weddingsâÂ
You could feel everyoneâs eyes at you, curious about how youâll respond to Mingyu.Â
âOkay, letâs do itâ you sighed. As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt muscular arms wrapping you in a hug and lifting you up from the couch.Â
âYES! You wonât regret this, Y/N!â Mingyu shrieked, spinning you around.Â
The next two months will definitely be hard.Â
an: ahhhh i'm so excited for this!! hope that u guys enjoyed this little teaser, the whole thing is currently in the works, hopefully it won't take too long <3 comment if u want to be added to the taglist, reblogs and comments will make me very very happy!!!
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as the world caves in
pairing: kim mingyu x f!reader
genre: apocalypse au, angst, happy ending
description: we creep up on extinction, i pull your arms right in
warnings: mentions of injuries, zombies (written as the dead)
w/c: 4k
a/n: i once promised tiya @gyubakeries that the first mingyu fic I write would be for her.(also promised to make sure it would be heartbreaking but today is her birthday and I'd rather not do that so) happy happy birthday tiya!!! I love you very much thank you for listening to me yap abt anything and everything and I hope you have an awesome day and year ahead đđđ and ofc happy 10th anniversary to svt đ€§đ„č!!!!
DAY 256, 20:03 PM
âHey. Itâs just me, checking in. Hope everything is still okay on your end.â
âIâm making stew again tonight. Seokmin and I went out to town to see if there were any stores that had stocked stuff still. Found a heap of heatable food which was surprising, but weâre good for the next week or so⊠I think. Unless the expiry dates are sooner.â
You hear him shuffle around, hear the rustling of plastic and the distant murmur of the friend heâs made. You can almost see Mingyu, his broad shoulders hunched over the packet, lips pursed in concentration as he figures out what more to do with it.
âThereâs not much to report today actually. Our new camp is fairly away from the dead yonder, so please donât worry. There are nice people here⊠They were really welcomingâafter the first few checks obviouslyâand are trying to convince us to stay. â
His voice is muffled by the static on the radio for a few seconds.
ââbut weâve told them that weâre both on the way to somewhere else. Seokmin says he has a brother waiting for him near Lindera, and well, I have you.â
âHow are things at Fort Worden? Isnât it getting warmer there? Be careful. They flock to warm places. I heard a message on the radio todayâfrom the camp in Lindera. Seokmin says that Worden is close too. So we leave tomorrow morning.â
You donât know if he pauses, or if what he says next is swallowed by the satellites and the nature of his worn out HT ham radio that you two have been using.Â
âAnyway, just wanted to let you know. Please send a message as soon as you can. I love you, Iâll be there soon.â
You sigh quietly before flipping your recording switch on.
DAY 256, 22:47 PM
âHey Gyu. Iâm glad you guys found some food. And people. Itâs safer that way.â
Youâre a bit surprised at how your voice sounds unused, rough and cracking at the edges.Â
âI fixed the fence with Vernon todayâor well, tried to. One of the posts snapped clean through and I donât think thereâs enough planks left to patch it properly. But it's okay. There are more people on guard duty tonight. Weâll figure something out tomorrow.â
âWe had three people join us today. All three came separately, which was funny because weâve never had so many people who arenât together. One of them is so young, MingyuâŠâ You trail off, eyes flitting to your door. âSheâs fourteen. Her parents turned yesterday, I think. Sheâs really on edge and afraid, so I think sheâll be sleeping in my room tonight.â
You grunt softly as you get up to open a window. The air outside isn't as refreshing as you'd want it to be, but it's a relief from the humidity and stickiness that has been hanging over the city recently.
âAnd you're rightâit is getting warmer here. Unbearably, almost. Weâve had more strays from the dead yonder than ever, but thankfully we're all stocked up on ammunition and other equipment. It's nice to be around so many people, Gyu. You'd love it.â
You can't help the guilt that slips into your voice, cutting cleanly into your skin like a sharp, smooth knife.Â
âPlease come back soon, Gyu. Stay safe. I'm sorry, and I love you too.â
You flip the recording switch off, throwing the radio one last glance before you leave your room. Outside, the corridors are bathed in dim orange lights that do nothing to make this place feel like home. Home is not a word you can recognize until Mingyu comes back.
Jeonghan stands outside your door, waiting respectfully with the camp's logbook in hand. He might have heard you, but you've come to realize that no one cares and that everyone understands.Â
âI've logged in today's activities around the Fort and the newcomers but Soonyoungâs pissed Seungcheol off and I do not want to go to his room to keep this.â He thrusts the hardcover, leather-bound book into your hands. âSo you keep it with yourself and I'll take it tomorrow morning and slip it onto his desk. Or you can do it yourself, if you'd like.â
You nod once. âI'll keep it. Aren't you going down for dinner?â
âGod, no. I may be hungry, but there's a stack of twinkies on the table and if I see one more, I'm going to throw up. Are you?â
Shaking your head, your mutter, âNah. Not feeling it.â
Jeonghan hums, eyeing you. âI think your boyfriend wouldn't like that.â
âMy boyfriend won't know, because I won't tell him and neither will you.â You scoff, pushing Jeonghan away. He sees the small, upward curve of your lips and backs off as you shut your room door on his face.
You remember to yell out. only when you hear his footsteps disappearing down the corridor. âSend the girl up to my room when she's done eating!âÂ
If he hears you, he doesn't respond.
There's not much to think about, or maybe there's too many things to think about. Either way, you ignore it and plop down onto your bed. It creaksâa familiar sound that still makes you cringe every time you hear it. The thin mattress does nothing to muffle the sound. You flip the book open, turning to the page with the bookmark in it.
FORT WORDEN LOGBOOK
July 7th, 2028.
3 Survivors found. Minor injuries sustained. No infection
Newcomer Info:
Man in 30s, had two guns on him. Woman in her 20s, says she's a medic. 14 y/o girl.
Attacks on camp:Â
Around 5-6 from the Dead Yonder, near the western gates.
You remember the day you came to Fort Worden all too well. Your log page probably looked like this: Woman in her 20s, cries once every hour, clutches her HT and necklace like someoneâs going to snatch it away.
You doubt you can ever forget the day Mingyu left you here, begging you to get out of the car and towards safety. You can feel the ghost of the seat belt cutting into your palms as you hold on tight, trying to convince Mingyu to take you along with him. But Mingyu had always been better than you, better than anyone you knowâtoo good not to do the right thing even when it cost him. He had people waiting for him somewhere out there, promises he couldnât turn his back on. In retrospect, youâre sure he regrets it tooâespecially when there was no one to save when he finally got there.
You close the book with a soft thud and set it on the nightstand, letting your head tip back against the wall. Itâs still too hot. Sweat clings to the inside of your shirt and you rub a palm over your face, feeling the salty, stickiness that hangs over this place. You should shower, and then sleep. You have to sleep. Morning comes faster than it should around here.
You hear a timid knock on the door.
Youâre up before you realize it, dragging the handle open.
The girl stands there, shoulders bunched like sheâs trying to disappear inside herself. Sheâs tiny in a way that makes your heart hurt, all sharp knees and elbows and a second-hand hoodie drowning her. Her fingers fidget with the hem of it, tugging, twisting. She looks like she might bolt if you so much as breathe wrong.
You step aside, keeping your hands loose and visible. âCâmon in,â you say, voice gentler than it was before. You wish it could sound stronger.
She hesitates, then creeps in, hovering awkwardly just inside the door. You shut it behind her, locking it out of habit.
âYou can have the bed,â you tell her, nodding toward it. âIâll take the chair.â
The girl blinks at you. âThank you.â
You find a blanket in the closetâthin, but clean enoughâand toss it over the chair before sinking into it. The springs squeal again and you grimace, curling your legs up, watching her settle onto the edge of the mattress like sheâs expecting it to vanish beneath her.
You watch the window instead of her after that. The moon is high, the sky cloudless and uncaring. Somewhere out past the gates, you know the dead are wandering, always moving, always searching.Â
You let your eyes fall shut, but you donât let yourself drift until the girlâs breathing evens out. Until the world feels like itâs not caving in for a few more minutes.Youâll send a message to Mingyu again tomorrow.
Maybe heâll be closer by then.
DAY 262, 11:30 AM
âBaby, I think I told you that I lost the map I had, right? Good news. Seokmin and I found a car with the keys still in it and a state routes map in the glovebox. Itâs a real mess, but hey, weâve got a ride again, and thatâs better than what we had yesterday. The engineâs a little rough and the fuelâs kinda low, but itâll get us where we need to go for now. Guess the next task is to find a fuel station.
We were talking about when this whole thing is over. Seokmin says I should make a list of things
I want to do when weâre back to something close to normal. It sounds impossible, but Iâll play along. Iâve got a few things in mind already. First on the list: take you out for a meal. No canned stuff, no heat-and-serve, just something real. Something we used to do. I miss that.
Anyway, I know itâs not much to go on, but I wanted you to hear from me. Keep yourself safe. Iâll be there before you know it.â
You picture him grinning when he says it â the kind of grin he used to give you across diner tables, late at night after long shifts, the two of you splitting a plate of greasy fries. You picture him teasing you about picking the restaurant, saying he didnât care as long as you were there.
You picture a hundred small memories that feel more like dreams now â his arm slung around your shoulder in a crowded movie theater, his hand finding yours automatically in the dark.
And then the static swallows him up again.
The camp around you hums with the low noise of survival. Somewhere behind you, Chan is arguing good-naturedly with Jihoon about ration counts. Heâs been trying to grow plants in a small patch that he keeps building around. Lee Chan, youâve found out, was a soil science or agronomyâyou donât remember the detailsâmajor before the infection hit.
The days have stretched on in the same pattern of routine: checking the perimeter, organizing supplies, scanning the horizon, and checking in on everyone.
Each morning, you check the radio. Each night, you wonder if this will be the last day you hear him.
You tuck the memory of his voice close to your chest and tell yourself you'll save a seat across from you at whatever restaurant you can find, someday. You tell yourself heâll make it back to you.
At night, you go to sleep with prayers hoping that he is closer.
DAY 265, 17:45 PM
Word travels fast in situations like this.
Someone caught a signal today. A voice on a different channel, not one of your usual checkpoints. They say theyâre from a camp in Leavenworth and give a warning. The camp in Lindera got overrun. No survivors confirmed. The dead move faster in the heat, they say, desperate and decaying faster too.
Youâre in the storage room, sorting through ration packs when Jeonghan finds you. His face is grave. His fingers tap the frame of the door, once, twice.
âYou heard?â he asks.
You nod without looking at him. Your hands are steady as you snap a box shut, but inside, something is shivering loose. You wonder, absently, if Mingyu was close enough to hear about it too. You wonder if heâs already running again. You havenât had a message in three days.
Jeonghan steps in closer. âYou should rest tonight,â he says. âWeâll take your shift.â
DAY 266, 02:11 AM
You can't sleep. You crack the window open, just enough to let the night air in. Itâs sticky, thick, and sour with the scent of bodies and earth.
You turn the radio on, tuning into Mingyuâs frequency. Static crackles, long and sharp. No voice. No message. You press your forehead against the cold metal frame.
You imagine him somewhere out thereâdriving down broken highways, headlights flickering, Seokmin in the passenger seat clutching another wrinkled map.
You imagine him listening too, waiting for your voice to break through the noise.
So you speak into the radio. You tell him about the small, temperature controlled patch in the garden that Chan has made. Youâve seen the first sprouts of maize today. The entire camp had rejoiced. You tell him about the girlâSuki, about how she smiled today for the first time when Soonyoung made a stupid joke about his ex.
You tell him you miss him, but not that the space he left behind feels like itâs getting bigger every day.
You tell him youâre scared, but not that itâs because you fear he wonât come back.
You tell him you love him, but not that itâs because every time feels like the last.
DAY 267, 6:37 AM
The air feels different today, thicker somehow. The sun hasnât fully risen, but you can already feel the weight of the day pressing down on you. You lie awake for a while, eyes fixed on the ceiling above, listening to the soft shuffle of feet outside your door and the distant hum of camp activity.
Thereâs a thud against the wall from next doorâJeonghan, probably already awake, too. You can almost hear the sound of his footsteps on the floorboards, his quiet way of moving, like heâs trying not to disturb anyone.
You reach for the radio, the familiar crackle of static filling the room as you twist the dial, the tension in your chest mounting with every click.
The silence on the other end feels like itâs going to swallow you up, like the seconds drag on forever, unrelenting. Your fingers twitch as you grip the radio, waiting for somethingâanything.
It takes a few minutes of pure radio static for you to even hear the semblance of a message. You shoot up from your bed, holding the radio closer to your ear.Â
â...hearing... this... back soon.â
âMingyu?â you speak into it, your voice groggy and rough. âMingyu, is that you?â
The static grows louder, a sharp hiss that cuts through the air like a warning. You grip the radio harder, pressing it closer, straining to hear over the noise.
Then, the radio clicks, a low hum filling the void. Itâs gone again.
DAY 268, 15:14 PM
Suki approaches you, her expression unreadable, but thereâs something off in the way she looks at you. Itâs subtle, but you catch it.
âThere are new people at the gates,â she says, voice low. âTheyâre in bad shape. Looks like theyâve been through hell.â
You shrug, not overly concerned. Itâs not the first time youâve seen beaten-up strangers. âIâll check it out. Are they safe?â
âOne of them just says heâs looking for someone whoâs here. They havenât checked for bites yet, I think.â
âIâll go see whatâs going on.â Itâs routine, really.
You walk toward the gates, hands loosely at your sides. Your mind drifts, not expecting anything unusual. That is, until the HT radio clipped to your belt suddenly crackles to life.
âHey⊠baby, are you there?â Mingyuâs voice, low but urgent, cuts through the quiet.
You stop mid-step, your heart skipping a beat at the sound of his voice.
âMingyu?â you whisper under your breath, barely daring to believe it.
Thereâs a long pause, just enough to make you second-guess what you heard, before his voice returns, more frantic this time. âItâs me. Iâm outside, but they wonât let us in.â
Your stomach lurches. Youâre still a few paces from the gates, but the realization hits like a thunderclap.
It is Mingyu.
Heâs here.
You barely have a moment to process the relief that floods through you before moving faster, jogging towards the gates.
âI donât care whatâs going on. Open the gate,â you demand as you approach, already pushing through the guards with authority you didnât even know you had.
The gates groan open slower than they should.
You barely notice the hands that move to stop you, the murmurs of protocol, of safety checks and bite inspections. Someone says something about waiting. Someone else mentions Jeonghanâs name like he might talk some sense into you.
None of it matters.
Because there he is.
Mingyu.
He's thinner than you remember. His clothes hang off him, streaked with dirt and blood and the kind of exhaustion you canât wash off. Thereâs a small gash on his forehead, a ripped sleeve, a small limp in his stepâbut heâs upright. Heâs breathing. Heâs real.
Seokminâs beside him, leaning against the wall There are dark shadows under his eyes. He nods at you once, slow and grateful, like heâs holding a breath he's been carrying for days.
But all you can see is Mingyu.
He sees you too.
For a second, neither of you moves. The world slows down to the beat of your heart, beating painfully inside your ribs. And then youâre moving. Not running, exactlyâbut walking faster than your legs can carry, your chest splitting open with something that doesnât know if itâs joy or agony. Maybe both.
He meets you halfway.
The collision is silent. No words, no dramatic gasps. Just arms around each other, too tight to be careful. His hands find the back of your neck, your shoulder blades, like heâs checking youâre still real. You curl your fingers into the fabric of his shirt, gripping hard.
Mingyu smells like sweat and gasoline and the end of the world. But under all of that, he smells like home.
âYou made it,â you whisper, the words catching in your throat.
His voice is wrecked when he answers. âI told you I would.â
You don't cry. The tears stay lodged somewhere behind your eyes, hot and heavy, waiting for a quieter moment.
Someone clears their throat nearby. You donât look. Let them wait. Let the whole camp wait.
â
Itâs late when he comes back into your room.
Youâre already sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on your knees, hands clasped together. You havenât changed, havenât moved much since the sun dipped below the horizon. The camp feels different nowâbuzzing in a new way, like everyone else can feel it too. That something has shifted. That someone made it back.
Mingyu steps in, clean now. Or cleaner than before. His hair is damp, curling slightly at the ends, and heâs traded his torn shirt for one of the spares from storageâplain and soft-looking, a little too tight at the shoulders, but he wears it like it fits. You pat the spot next to you and lift the first-aid kit onto your lap.
âYou found the clean clothes stash,â you say, and your voice sounds steadier than you expected.
He smiles, tired and crooked. âSeokmin said I smelled like the dead. Figured I should do something about that.â
Itâs quiet again after that.
He crosses the room slowly. When heâs close enough, he kneels in front of you, hands resting on his thighs like heâs waiting to be granted something. You look at himâreally lookâand it guts you. The bags under his eyes. The fading bruise on his jaw, the gash that has been stitched but not bandaged. The way he keeps blinking like he still doesnât trust what heâs seeing.
âI missed you,â he says, and thereâs something cracked open in his voice. âEvery day, I thought about turning back. But I kept thinkingâif I could just make it a little further, maybe Iâd hear you again. Maybe Iâd make it back to you.â
You reach out, fingers brushing the side of his face. He leans into it instinctively, his eyes fluttering shut like the warmth of your hand is the first real thing heâs felt in weeks.
âYou did,â you whisper. âYou made it.â
He closes his eyes, nodding once like the words land somewhere deep. You slide off the bed, kneeling in front of him now. Youâre both on the floor, eye to eye, tired bones and pained hearts.
âIâm glad youâre here,â you say, and this time, your voice cracks.
Thatâs what finally undoes him.
Mingyu leans in slowly, like heâs asking, and you meet him halfway. The kiss is soft, like a breath caught between two mouths that donât quite know how to be completely gentle anymore. His hand finds your jaw, tentative and warm.Â
He kisses you like heâs remembering it as he goesâlike the shape of your mouth, the rhythm of your breath, was something heâs carried with him in pieces. Your hands find his shirt, fingers twisting in the fabric, pulling him closer with a desperation that doesnât need words. Mingyuâs lips taste like soap, like heâs brushed his entire body hard enough to get rid of the past few months. To go back to what it was like with you.
When he pulls back, forehead resting against yours, palm slipping down to intertwine your fingers, you sigh.
Mingyu breaks the silence a few moments later. âSomeone named Jeonghan threatened to throw me out if I snore.â
You huff out a laugh, nose brushing his. âHeâs next door. He can hear everything.â
âHe also told me that you left yesterdayâs dishes beside the sink without wetting it.â
Groaning, you let your head fall onto Mingyuâs shoulder. You almost tear up at the way it feels so familiar.
âI panicked! Jihoon was yelling at someone and I just wanted to get out of there.â
You can hear the grin in Mingyuâs voice. âI always told you to soak it.â
âAnd I always ignored you.â
âTrue,â he says, squeezing your hand. âSome things never change.â
You sit like that for a bit, your legs going numb, his palm sweeping slow arcs over your back. Outside, someone walks by, humming off-key. Somewhere down the hall, Jeonghan shouts something muffled and vaguely threatening.
But here, itâs still.
âCan you get up so that I can bandage you up and then we can go to sleep?â You mumble, cheek pressed against his shoulder.
He pushes himself up with a grunt, wincing slightly as the movement pulls at the stitches along his side. You sit up too, rubbing your face with the heel of your hand before reaching for the first aid kit on your bed.
You didnât think heâd hurt himself there too, but when he lifts his shirt up, you tend to it wordlessly. You can talk about it later.
When youâre done, you drop the trash into the little bin by the bed, click the kit closed, and set it aside. Then you sit back, legs crossed, watching him pull his shirt down over the fresh bandage.
He climbs in without another word, immediately claiming his old side like it was never up for negotiation. You slide in beside him, and he reaches for you the moment you're under the blanket, his arm winding easily around your waist, his nose nudging the back of your neck.
âI forgot to mention,â You start. âSuki sleeps in my room. She probably wonât come in tonight, but we need to figure something out.â
You turn your head slightly, enough to glance at him over your shoulder. âShe was scared. She needed somewhere to feel safe.â
His face softens immediately. âOf course.â
âIâll talk to her tomorrow. Sheâs been warming up to Jeonghan anyway. Maybe sheâll take the bunk across from him.â
After a few moments, he mumbles, âIâll sleep wherever you want me to. Just not near Jeonghan.â
âDeal.â
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OO1. pretty little mouth

pairing: stalker!jungkook x stalker!reader
summary: OF creator, jungkook, loves showing off his assets to his supporters who pay to see his exclusive videos and photosâfaceless. but fans wonder why he never has a girl on his videos and why he never interacts with any other girl. they donât need to know, though, heâs been obsessed with the pretty girl who live streams on her own OF account and who he recognizes as his enemyâs ex-girlfriend. she doesnât need to know heâs the one who tips her the most with the money he earns from his own OF account, and who loves watching her from a distance. as for him? he doesnât need to know she stalks him, too.
warnings for this chapter: masturbation, dirty talk
Is it bad to have an obsession with a man who will never know who you are and will never have an idea?
You didnât know the answer to that.
Your fingers were moving swiftly through the bundle of nerves between your legs as your eyes were casted on the man on the screen of your phone. He was jerking off, his tattooed hand moving up and down the thickness of his cock while he spewed such dirty words from the lips his tongue kept running over to wet them.
His neck, so pretty, was thrown back here and there, moans and gasps and whines escaping his lips while he let out breathless chuckles at reading the comments.
Is it bad to feel jealousy?
âGod, youâre fucking filthy, arenât you?â He chuckled before biting his lip, his lip ring glistening. âYou love watching me stroke myself imagining youâre tasting my cock? Smearing my cum on your pretty lips?â
You shivered at hearing his words, your hand moving faster.
âAnd I bet youâre touching yourself like a dirty fucking slut, huh?â He breathed out, a small moan escaping his mouth. You hear the slick noises of his hand moving up and down; his pre-cum and spit as a substitute for the stupid lotion he used to use. âYeah, baby, move those fingers. Imagine them as mine. Imagine my tongue tasting you.â
You let out a small muffled whine at his words.
âIâm gonna cum,â he whined so breathlessly. You moaned at how he sounded. âYeah, baby, I'm gonna cum for you and youâre gonna be a good girl and cum for me, arenât you? Begging me to breed you. Begging me to pound into you until my cum is spilling out of that pretty cunt of yours.â
The squelching of your fingers inside you got louder as you began to get closer.
His moaning got louder, his hips jerking up into his hand. âCum for me, baby. Cum. I want to hear my name from that pretty little mouth of yours. Cum.â
You whined and moaned at feeling yourself clench around your fingers, finally climaxing at the same time as Jungkook did. Spurts of white escaped him as he groaned so softly it was almost as if he was breathing into your earâyou had your earbuds in so he basically was.
âThatâs it, baby. Such a good girl for me, hmm?â He softly hummed. He chuckled as he read the comments. âOh, you guys are so sweet, thank you.â
He spoke so softly in comparison to the way he was talking not even two minutes ago.
You looked at him. Looked at the way his lips tilted up in a smile at reading the comments that said between âwish you could be here with me insteadâ and âwish you came inside me daddyâ.
You smiled in amusement before you leaned over to wipe your hand away with a wipe.
You fixed yourself, heading towards the bathroom when you typed: âMissed your lives :( you always do your bestâ with money attached to the message. He deserved it.
As you did your business and washed your hands, you heard his small laughter. âI recognize that cute little username. I missed you as much as you missed my lives. You came with me, baby?â
Your heart stuttered.
Did he really recognize you?
No, no, he couldnât have. RightâŠ?
After all, you didnât use your main account. You used some burner account so he wouldnât know that you of all people watched him. Youâd be embarrassed if he found out you were watching him. You heard from so many others he didnât really interact with female OF creators and as a creator, you donât think heâd be really happy if he knew you were an avid watcher that gave him money and complimented him like he was the only man alive.
You looked at your screen and typed again, just to really test it out. You hoped he did recognize you. Even if it were your burner account. Was that too parasocial of you?
âofc i did, you have that effect on me <3â
He smiled almost immediately, leaning in closer while his free hand pinched his bottom lip.
âIâm happy to have that effect on you,â he softly said as he wiped himself clean. âItâs a bummer I donât know what you look like. I just know Iâll immediately want to come on that face.â
You gulped.
He did read your message. He read your message.
âHoly shit,â you whispered to yourself.
You eyed the bottom half of his face considering he was faceless. He had never shown his entire faceâthe upper half since he had said he liked the secrecy and loved the mystery of his persona. His usernameâthat you considered amusingâsaid it all: facelessjk.
âI spoil you guys so much, hmm?â He asked, leaning a bit closer so everyone could see his pecs and his abs poking out from out of screen. âToo much. My spoiled brats.â
Everyone commented even more. They all wanted his attention. Just his. Because this faceless guy was the epitome of attractive, handsome, and someone they could all fantasize about without feeling shame because he didnât know who they were. They all yearned for him in a way they never yearned anybody. They all just wanted a small taste and they needed it.
You went back to bed and plopped on your back. You looked at your phone and eyed him. Eyed his smile. Will his eyes crinkle? Does he have any moles on the upper side of his face?
There was something so endearing about him that you wouldnât find attractive in other men. If any other guy said the words he said, youâre pretty sure you wouldâve cringed without a word and left. But, he was so good.
âThank you for the love on the recent video by the way,â he grinned, taking a sip of his water. You watched the way his Adamâs apple moved with every gulp. âIâm hoping you guys had a lot of fun with that one. I might post some more videos next week. Will that be okay with you guys?â
Everyone almost agreed immediately.
âGood,â he said. âIâll go live tomorrow, especially since a little someone mentioned they missed them. So, Iâll come back tomorrow. What do you guys want to see?â
Your heart fluttered again. Did he really remember your comment? No⊠maybe he remembered it because you gave him money and this was fanservice. But was it bad to think he remembered because he wanted to?
Your fingers immediately typed a message with another $100 tip: you havenât used your fleshlight in a while :(
You mentally facepalmed. Was that too much? Was too cringe?
âMy fleshlight?â He read with a small smirk. âHmm⊠youâre right, I havenât used it in a while. Iâll use it tomorrow. You want that, baby?â
Oh, yeah⊠youâre definitely gone. Just that word made your thighs clench subconsciously.
He chuckled as if he knew the effect he had on you.
âIâll see you guys tomorrow,â he muttered under his breath, already leaning over to turn off his camera. âDonât miss me too much, yeah? Everyone of you. Come back to me.â
With an amused little laugh, he ended his live and you were left on your bed surrounded with silence.
You groaned.
âAll this for one faceless manâŠâ
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04 | SHADOWS OF OBSESSION â JJK

a criminal's obsession with a shy medical student starts a passionate mix of desire and darkness. As their worlds collide, secrets get exposed and possession turns into love. In a world filled with betrayal and the weight of their own pasts, can they find a way to survive together? or will their twisted bond ultimately destroy them both?
pairing â criminal dom!jungkook x student sub!femreader
genre â criminal au, dark romance, forbidden attraction, enemies to lovers, murderer!jungkook, stalker!jungkook, innocent shy!reader, virgin!reader, medical student!reader, violence, stalking and obsession, contrast of worlds, crime, thriller, smut, lots of angst, fluff
warnings/tags â 18+, explicit smut, angry!jungkook, possessive!jungkook, toxic!jungkook, consensual non consent, emotional vulnerability, trauma bonding, emotional connection, isolation and loneliness, intrusion, romantic gestures, domestic intimacy, fear, power dynamics, d/s dynamics, argument, confrontation, crying, cursing, rough sex, aggressive sexual acts, several non-detailed sexual scenes, spanking, hair pulling, bondage (use of ropes), making out, hickies/marking, bruising, multiple orgasms, fear, pain play, pain and pleasure play, solo female masturbation, masturbation using a teddy bear, degradation, oral sex (f. receiving), eating out, face riding, face sitting, fingering, clit stimulation, cum swallowing, tongue fucking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, loss of virginity, dirty talk, praise kink, use of words like "slut" and "whore", body worship, breast play, nipple play and sucking, voyeurism, she gets chased by jungkook, elements of shame but she gets turned on by it, jungkook watches reader masturbate, slight cum and breath play, aftercare, kidnapping, mentions of physical harm
wc â 9.2k
a/n â lmafaosdh y'all are gonna hate me for this chapter ;((
series m. list | main m. list
ââââàšà§ââââ
The air in your apartment was thick with your desperation; a wet sheen clung to your skin as you stepped out of the shower. The steam surrounding you after the hot shower, along with the smell of your floral shampoo.
Your body alive, every part of you pulsating just like your tingling pussy that had been wet constantly, an ache reminding you of the criminal that you swore off your life.
Every bodily reaction of yours occurred with the memory of Jungkook's touch, his rough hands and tongue, made you hate yourself more.
You tried a lot these past few weeks to forget about him, to move on, but every memory of him clung to you stubbornly, you couldnât get rid of it. You couldnât focus on studies, couldnât do anything.
And with each day that need was burning further.
You wouldnât ever beg for him, or so you told yourself. Yet today you needed release, needed to feel a fraction of how he made you feel.
The innocent girl in you is gone, in place, the temptation took over.
The towel wrapped around you felt suffocating; cheeks flushed from the barrier between you and the need in your core.
You stood in your bedroom, the room dark in the night. The only source of light was the single lamp on the table, giving a faint glow to the room.
The knowledge of what's gonna happen raised goosebumps all over your skin.
You let the towel drop slowly as it pooled at your feet. Your naked body was exposed in the empty room, nipples puckered instantly in the cool air, even the slightest air felt too much on your sensitive skin, and you squeezed your thighs together.
Your pussy dripping with arousal, slickness coating your inner thighs, body constantly craving the euphoric feeling only a certain man could give you
Tonight the silence was there, but you felt him, your body having a mind of its own to know his presence whenever he is near.
Jungkook. Your stalker.
He was watching you from the shadowsâhis presence undeniable, a dangerous heaviness that made your heart race, your clit throbbing.
Your eyes fell on the large teddy bear heâd given you a few weeks ago. It sat on your bed, being the only witness of your unraveling.
A gift from a monster.
You approached it, your breath hitching as you climbed onto the bed, the sheets dipping under your weight.
Your hand trembled as you reached for the teddy, pulling it to you, fur brushing against your naked skin, which felt like a tease that made you gasp.
You hugged it tightly, your breasts pressing against its softness, nipples grazed its fur, and instantly jolts of pleasure went through you, making you pant.
You dug your nose into the fur, and it felt like it carried a slight scent of him, or you didnât know if you were going crazy imagining thingsâcigarettes as always and musk, your pussy clenched.
Your chest heaved as you laid the teddy down and straddled it with a huff, body going on its own, controlled by desire.
Your thighs spread wide, your heat settling against its plush belly, the fur brushing against your sensitive folds. The sensation was immediate and instantâa soft friction that made you moan.
You knew he was there, watching, and the thought felt like a challenge, you were trying to lure in the predator who'd haunted you.
You were the prey, calling him, tempting him enough to break his restraint.
Your hips started rocking slowly, experimentally, fur rubbing against your clit as your slickness soaked into the teddy, shame and embarrassment in the back of your mind, forgotten.
âJungkook,â you whined, voice trembling as your eyes fluttered shut, giving in to your need.
Your movements grew bolder, hips grinding harder, and the fur was now fully slick with your arousal, providing the perfect friction for your throbbing clit.
Your moans grew louder along with your occasional gasps and whimpers, body trembling as you chased the pleasure.
Your breasts bounced with each thrust, nipples aching, needing stimulation and your hands clutched the teddy's fur as if it was his skin, the thought intensifying your pleasure, the teddy helping since you needed to hold onto something.
âOh God⊠mmmhah,â you moaned shakily, voice high and desperate with agony as the ache increased, reminding you of his absence.
You imagined him taking you for the first timeâeyes dark as he would plunge his thick, hard cock inside you, finally filling you and taking every bit of your sanity.
The thought pushed you closer, your hips started rocking faster and harder, moans now unrestrained and breathy.
âMore, more, please, yes.â You sobbed, voice cracking, your nails dug further into the teddy, thighs trembling. The fact that the teddy didnât tear under the force of your hold shocked you.
Your climax was close, tightening in your belly, head falling back, mouth parted in ecstasy, pussy pulsing harder as your brows were drawn together in pained pleasure.
You were very aware that you were taunting him, calling for him.
In the shadows Jungkook stood, body rigid, cigarette forgotten. His eyes were locked on you, cock hard and straining against his jeans.
The sight of youânaked, needy, fucking his giftâdrove him close to a feral animal.
Your body a feast for his eyes, tits bouncing with hard nipples, pussy dripping and soaking the teddy given by him.
He was angry, so very angry; his blood was boiling.
And he was going to make you regret it.
His hand itched to grab you and spank you so hard that youâll feel it for days, not being able to sit, and he was going to punish you in every unimaginable way possible.
Heâd promised to stay away, to let you live, but you were breaking him, piece by piece, with every moan and rock of your hips.
Thatâs it.
âYou little slut,â he snarled, his voice a dangerous rumble as he stormed inside the room, no longer holding back. His sudden presence shocked you enough to stop your movements.
He grabbed your hair, fisting it tightly, pulling your head back, the pain making tears well in your eyes as a scream tore from your throat.
Your eyes flew open, locking into him, few tears escaping, and even in that situation your pussy clenches at the sight of him after his absence for so longâtall, muscular, tattooed hand gripping your hair, his eyes wild with lust.
âMy innocent petal,â he growled, face only a few inches away from you, his breath reeking of cigarettes and whiskey.
His hold on your hair not loosening, despite your winches and whimpers as he holds you in the lewd position, you straddling the teddy, arousal very much evident for him to observe.
âActing like a needy whore, begging to be fucked. You think you can tease me like this? You think you can break me?â
Your breath hitched as hurt flashed through your eyes from his words, with desire, body trembling under his grip. You were exposed, vulnerable, arousal dripping down your thighs, tits heaving.
You hated him, hated yourself.
But the fire in his eyes and the way he gripped your hair so punishingly made you wetter; his words, even though degrading, made you angry, but also made you needy.
You had enough of this, his torment too much in your life.
You summoned every ounce of courage, your hand lashing out and slapping his face, the loud sound echoing in the room.
âGet out!â you screamed, voice raw as tears streamed down your face, body shaking with anger and something else you couldnât name.
âLeave me alone!â
His head snapped to the side, jaw clenching, eyes darkening to a dangerous black. For a moment he was still, looking at you like a predator sizing up his prey, his anger palpable from where he stood.
Then he released you suddenly, shocking you as his gaze never left you.
You took the chance to quickly scramble off the bed, your naked body glistening with sweat and arousal and your heart pounded with fear.
You ran, bare feet hitting a floor. You ran far away from him, breaths coming out in sharp pants, your mind feeling hazy in fear and need.
The apartment was dark, all lights off, and you couldnât even see where his presence was, and it increased your terror along with the arousal gathering in between your legs.
You felt exposed running like this in such a bare state, arousal dripping on the floor leaving a trail behind you making it easier for him to find you, and everything was too quiet; you couldnât hear any noises or his movement that signaled that he was following you.
Your heart beats faster, yet the fear made your clit throb in the same rhythm as your heart.
You stumbled into the living room, body trembling. You glanced back, expecting him to be on you, but he wasnât.
You knew you messed up this time, big time; you slapped him.
And he was so very angry; you messed with the monster, and he wouldnât let you escape this time.
Soon you started to hear his heavy footsteps. He moved slowly, his presence a dark promise of what is about to occur, what he is going to do to you, and it made your heart race.
His eyes were intense, his lips curling into a sneer.
âRun all you want, baby,â he purred, voice mocking along with dripping anger, âyou know you canât escape me. Youâre mine, and you know it.â
You tripped suddenly, foot catching on the rug, and you fell on your knees on the floor, your breasts bouncing at the process, a gasp falling from between your lips.
A lewd feast for his eyes with you being exposed and scared.
You whimpered as you looked up at the man who was unrecognizable now in anger, towering over you. He growled lowly, the sound primal and he slowly stepped towards you, approaching.
His cock was hard and aching, very much visible with the large bulge straining his jeans. His hands were clenched as he looked down at you, eyes never leaving youâyour trembling form, glistening pussy, tits heaving for him only.
And he wanted to keep that sight memorized forever, your fear fueling his desire further.
âYou think you can play me?â He said, his shadow now completely covering your form, almost heavily.
âYou think you can spread your legs, moan my name, and I'll just break? Youâre a fucking tease, and Iâm done playing nice.â
You scrambled back, hands slipping on the floor, your heart pounding in fear, tears falling freely.
âItâs time to give you a good lesson for being such a naughty girl.â He coos at you, lips lifting into a slight smirk.
âLook at you, trembling naked and exposed for me, those nipples hard and your pussy dripping sultrily, leaving a trail all over the floor.â
His fingers gestured at your body, making you whimper and look away as you bit your own fist in shame and arousal, his words fueling you more.
âI bet if I spread those thighs of yours, I will find that tight cunt clenching for me, yeah?â He rasped.
You were scared, so scared, but your body betrayed you further and further with his words.
Craving the very monster, you feared
His presence was overwhelmingâthe smell of his cigarettes, sweat, and rageâsurrounding you, making you dizzy.
You wanted to scream, to beg, but your voice was gone, your body under his claim on its own, and your slap had just ignited his growing anger further.
Your back hit the counter, no longer able to back away from him.
You were trapped.
And the knowledge made your heart beat out of your chest, you could see the satisfaction it gave him knowing you had nowhere to go, not being able to escape his wrath.
He crouched, hand reaching for you, his fingers grazing your ankle possessive and slow, like a slow anticipation before attacking fully.
You whimpered, body trembling as you squeezed your thighs together trying to stop the ache.
Your heart screamed for him to take you, to ruin you, even as your mind begged you to run. The tension was cracking between you heavily, his anger and your need mixing together.
And you knew the night was far from over.
You let out a cry, Jungkook didnât waste any further time, and he picked you up in an instant in the air and threw you over his shoulder, knocking the breath off your chest from how fast it happened.
Your cries filled the quiet room, but he didnât listen. His hold was tight but not bruising, enough to not give you any place to bulge or breathe.
Your naked body trembled, bare body resting on his shoulder, his hands gripping your ass just a little away from your pussy, and it was too much. Your heart pounded, wondering what he would do to you.
You were slapping and scratching his back, squirming, your body aching from the struggle as you gave up, finally tired.
âI hate you; just let me go!â You sobbed.
The words were like a knife, and they only fueled his rage even more, his grip tightening even more, anger palpable, and your pussy clenched.
Dripping slick right on his shirt, you writhed ashamed, but his animal growl told you otherwise and he started he walked in fast strides, reaching your bedroom.
He tossed you onto the bed; and you fell on the bed with a gasp, the impact caused your breasts to jiggle, his eyes fixed on them. He didnât wait any longer before moving.
His hands were quick and rough as he pulled out a coarse rope from his pocket and pinned you down in bed with one hand, his strength knocking the breath out of your chest.
He pinned your wrists above your head, used the ropes to tie them to the headboard. The rope was tight, bruising your delicate skin, leaving red marks that stung with every movement.
Your chest heaved as your breath shook, hard nipples begging for attention that you both craved and feared.
Your legs were laid spread due to the force of his hold, pussy swollen under his gaze from the days of unfulfilled need, and it was slowly growing too much to bear.
You were utterly exposed, trapped, and vulnerable to go nowhere, and you felt like a toy that he could use and treat however he wanted, and the realization made your breath hitch in a mix of panic and anticipation.
Jungkookâs eyes roamed all over you with his dark eyes, you didnât meet his eyes, whimpering as tears spilled on the sheets, and his jaw clenched so tightly the muscles twitched.
âYou hate me?â He snarled, the gravel sound vibrated through the room, sending goosebumps all over your skin.
âYou think you can say that and get away with it? Youâre mine, petal, and youâll fucking learn it sooner or later.â
His words were full of anger that wrapped around you in a thrilling way.
You whimpered pathetically, body squirming under his intense gaze. It felt like he was touching you and undoing you with his stare alone.
Your slick coated on your thighs was the shameful proof of how his dominance undid you.
He leaned down, breath hot against your neck, lips brushing against your skin, his ragged breaths showing just how affected he was by this as well.
His teeth sank in soon, hard, and the ache was sharpâa sudden burst of pain and pleasure that made you gasp out, âAhh!â
Your body arches off the bed, wrists pulling against the rope.
He sucked the bitten spot, tongue lapping over the bruised flesh, leaving a deep purple hickey that throbbed along with your racing heart. His weight over you not giving you any space to move at all
He moved like he had all the time in the world, savoring his meal before he went all in on you. He moved to your collarbone, teeth grazing the flesh before he bites again, another mark forming under his mouth, and the sting, along with a dark pleasure, had you moaning.
âJungkook, please,â you gasped, not knowing if you were begging for mercy or for him to keep going.
He didnât stop, not paying attention to your words, lips trailing to your breasts, hands rough as he gripped a handful of your tit, cupping it before he squeezed hard enough to make you wince, your nipples hardening further on his palm.
âNghhh⊠god,â you whimpered as he leaned down and bit the sensitive skin just above your areola, teeth sinking in, and you cried out a loud, broken sound. Your mind dizzy, not being able to catch up to the pain and the pleasure that he was igniting inside you.
Your body slowly being marked by his hickeys, a brand of his possession, as he soothed each bite and burn with his warm tongue, and the contrast of his roughness and tenderness had you gasping for air, not being able to breathe.
He moved to your other breast, making sure to lavish his attention everywhere. He left a trail of his marks everywhere along with your cleavage, each one a reminder of you being his.
Your chest now covered with red and purple bruises from him as he took his time marking you, while you breathed your whimpers of pain and need
His hand suddenly came down on your ass, delivering a sharp spank that caught you off guard with the pain, and the burn jolted you; your pussy clenched around nothing.
âOh, fuck Jungkook!â you cried.
The curse slipping out of your mouth made Jungkook growl, hating such words in your sweet mouth. He gripped a handful of your ass and squeezed tightly, voicing his disapproval through actions.
âYou like that, hmm?â He gruffed, âMy innocent little girl, so fucking needy for a monster.â
Another spank, harder, and it was too much for you to bear; tears spilled as your sobs filled the room, hips bucking instinctively.
The pain was intense, but it melted into a throbbing pleasure that had your arousal drip onto the sheets, arousal pooling onto the sheets, your body trembling.
You sobbed, wrists tugging at the ropes, plush lips open at all times due to the sensation of pain and pleasure, and the sting on your wrists from the rope was adding to the sensory overload.
It felt like your body was alive on sensation only.
Jungkookâs eyes were feral as he got off you, his chest heaving as he saw how your pussy weeping for him, and it drove him a little over the edge of madness. His eyes locked on your face as you lay there panting, even though he hasnât done anything yet.
He stripped, movements quick and desperate. His underwear went away next, and you gasp seeing him naked for the first time.
Your breath stopped.
His cock sprang free, massive and intimidating, you gripped the headboard, heart thudding that you had nowhere to escape but to take this monster of a man. The veins were pulsing, and the tip was leaking, glistening with precum.
You gasped, eyes widening, fear filling your chest at the sheer size of him and the huge power he held even by doing nothing.
You were seeing his tattoos in their bare beauty for the first time. His body a work of art from the tattoos and full of scars from his pastâtattoos all over his chest and abs, hard muscles all over.
Oh Godâhe was a demon.
And you were his sacrifice.
Your pussy clenched at the thought of him inside you, and you gripped the headboard tighter, something to ground yourself.
He knelt between your legs, hands gripping your thighs and spread them as wide as they would go, you huffed at how exposed you felt, body stretched to its limits, his fingers digging into your soft flesh, leaving bruises that matched the hickeys he gave you.
âUntie me, please, ahhââ
His mouth lowered on your pussy, interrupting your words, and you screamed at the overwhelming feeling, tongue lapping at your clit with a hunger that almost felt violent.
His lips were restless and rough, sucking hard, teeth occasionally grazing your sensitive bud, and you saw stars behind your vision, having no control of your body as he made you feel sensations you didnât know were possible.
Your hips bucked on his mouth, moans loud and desperate, body writhing under his assault.
âFuck, my baby... you taste like heaven,â he grunted against your pussy.
Voice muffled, his tongue plunging inside you, fucking you with a rhythm that had you on the edge. His fingers soon joined his tongue, two at first stretching your virgin walls for what's about to come, and you were tight and resistant despite getting finger-fucked by him several times before.
The burn was intense but so fucking good.
He curled them, hitting a spot. âOh! Mmhâplease, Jungkook, itâs too muchââ Your cries filled the room, your wrists pulling harder against the ropes, skin cutting in the process.
âI canâtâplease!â You sobbed, body shaking as your climax started building.
He didnât stop.
His tongue kept going, lips sucking your clit until you shattered all over his mouth, pussy gushing, your cries raw and broken.
He hummed satisfied against you but didnât let up, drawing out every shudder and whimper, eyes locked on yours, dark and possessive, as he drinks in your release like it was his lifeline.
He needed it to survive.
You were now basically drooling all over the pillow, mind hazy and he pulls back, lips glistening, his chest heaving, and you could feel his cock twitch against your thigh.
âYouâre mine,â he rasped, eyes burning with something beyond angerâobsession, need, something twisted.
âSay it, petal. Say youâre mine.â
You were panting, body trembling, mind confused with pleasure and fear as your lips moved automatically, submitting to him.
âIâm yours,â you whispered.
Your voice shook, heart pounding with your words, knowing it was true and also knowing it was your final undoing.
He growled, satisfied by your answer, his hands gentle now, a huge difference from his earlier roughness.
He untied your ropes, fingers brushing over your raw wrists, his touch soft and almost gentle as tears prick your eyes from his rare softness that is only directed towards you.
A whimper lodged in your throat when he placed a kiss against each of your wrists before he positioned himself between your legs.
His cock at your entrance, his tip teasing your soaked folds.
âIâve got you,â he murmured, voice a low rumble, his eyes locking on yours, searching for any sign of pain.
You nodded, breath hitching. Your body was tense but ready, pussy aching for him despite all the fear you experienced. You needed him so much.
He pushed in slowly at first, and the tip stretched you; the burn was so intense along with the sharp pain, enough to make you wince, nails digging into his shoulders.
He froze, jaw tight as his eyes looked at yours, soft with concern, a gentleness youâd never seen in him.
âYou okay, sweetheart?â He asked, his voice strained as well from the feel of your tight pussy wrapped around him, even though he isnât fully in yet.
His hands cupped your cheeks, thumbs brushing your skin.
âYes,â you gasped, voice breaking as your body struggled to adjust.
âYou are so tight for me, petal, wrapped around me like you were made for me.â
His rough words tightened you around him further, making him groan and he gripped your thigh, shushing you.
He lets you get used to it for a bit, being patient and surprising himself in the process because he doesnât remember the last time he was even a little bit patient.
The pain soon eased into a strange, pleasurable feeling, and you whined, digging your face into his chest.
âPlease, JungkookâŠ.â
He groaned at your request, control fading and he plunged deep in one swift motion, cock filling you, and the stretch was overwhelming, your pussy clenching around him, getting full for the first time, blowing your mind until you felt dizzy.
âAh hah⊠Oh God!â You screamed, biting down on his shoulder to keep yourself tethered from the pain.
He didnât waste any more time as the bed shook, the headboard slammed against the wall from his powerful, relentless thrusts, each one driving him deeper inside you.
He hits spots inside you that you didnât know existed, and you almost felt him inside your stomach.
His growls were feral, his eyes locked on where you were joined as he watched his cock disappear into your pussy, slick and glistening with your arousal.
âohsâ and âahsâ left your mouth, each noise weeping with each of his thrusts, noises uncontrollable, pleasure and pain mixing together, nails digging into his back leaving marks that only encouraged him to go faster, drilling inside you
The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room along with your cries, creating an obscene music that you were sure the neighbors could hear, but you were too high on pleasure to quiet yourself.
âmy perfect little girl taking my cock so wellâ He lashed out his words, hips puncturing each of his words inside you, making you cry further on his shoulder, his anger simmering and obsession consuming him further from the feel of your pussy, finally owning every part of you.
His eyes locked on your face, taking in all your pained and pleasured expressions, never getting enough, his control snapping whenever your eyes would roll at the back of your head whenever he hit that spot inside you.
âYou drive me fucking insane, you know that? I want to ruin you, keep you, lock you away, and own this slutty cunt so that no one else can have you.â
You wailed, body arching as your orgasm started building again, body weak from all the highs it experienced.
âJungkook, I'mâI'm going to come!â You let out an agony-filled scream, body shaking as the intensity overwhelmed you.
âMm, you are close? Come for me then, petal.â He growls, thrusts growing quicker as his hands grip your ass, lifting you to meet his thrusts, balls slapping against your swollen pussy.
âLet me feel you, let me have you.â
His words burned you even more, and you shattered, orgasm ripping through you, pussy gushing around his cock, cries filling the room as your body convulsed.
He kept going, not giving you a break, thrusts relentless as he chased his own release, your pussy milking him.
You were overstimulated, body shaking with aftershocks, and the force of his thrusts started building your second orgasm before you even realized, throat aching from all the noises you let out.
âFuck, Iâm going to come,â he groans, own voice breaking as his hips slam into you, cock pulsing and he comes, hot and thick release, filling you, his hands holding your hips, not letting you escape.
Your pussy clenched around him, drawing out every drop.
His release triggered yours, and you came again, for the third time tonight, cries broken body trembling and the overstimulation made you sob, tears falling when he slowed, his head dipped, tongue entering your mouth, kissing you, tasting you.
He swallowed your cries as his thrusts gentled, cock barely softened when he pulled out, giving you a break that he knew you needed more than anything. You winched at the emptiness, a surge of your release mixed with his dripped out of you.
The sight made his nostrils flare, wanting to fuck them back inside your gaping cunt, but he knew you already had too much.
Your pussy stretched enough for him, and it was visible before his eyes.
He could fuck you all night long if he wanted, but it was your first time, and he didnât want to push you beyond your limits.
He collapsed beside you, breath ragged and he pulled you to his chest, his fingers rubbing your red wrists again almost like he felt guilty for hurting them, but there was also a sense of satisfaction in his chest that he was the one that marked you, made you feel pain and pleasure.
Something that only he was allowed to make you feel and no other man
The thought made his hands twitch with the need to kill someone that didnât even exist.
He focused on you, still panting and drooling on his chest. He carried you to the shower, the water warm and soothing against your achy body.
His eyes were soft while he washed you, cleaning all the release, paying attention to your sore spots, a stark contrast to the monster whoâd claimed you moments ago.
You were quiet, body exhausted, your heart heavy too tired to speak as you depended on him completely, letting him do whatever he wanted, being his personal doll.
He wrapped you in a towel once the bathing was over, picking you up in bridal style, not letting you walk or use any of your energy.
Your hand clutched his chest as he laid you back in bed, the soaked sheets changed by him, and the warmness of it made you purr unknowingly.
He stood there looking down at you, eyes unreadable, his expression intense as he looked at you like his possession, you looked up at him clutching the sheets to your breasts, your shyness consuming you once again even though he thoroughly saw and used every part of you.
Even parts that you didnât know existed yourself
Your body feeling more his than your own
âWhat do you want from me?â you croaked, eyes searching his, needing answers, needing something to hold onto.
âWhy are you doing this?â
His eyes turned dark and haunted at your question, jaw clenching. âI donât know,â he said, voice raw with an emotion he didnât understand.
âI donât know what this is, but I just know that youâyouâre mine. I need to have you, whether you want it or not.â
You swallowed, throat tight from his words, body still tingled from his touch, heart torn between fear and a need you hated yourself for not pushing away.
You curled into him when he laid beside you, your hand resting on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart meet the same rhythm as yours, his hand awkwardly resting on your waist, not used to such domestic acts.
But you knew.
His heart, the criminal's heart that was made of stone but one that, in its own broken way, beat for you only.
Û¶à§
The days following Jungkookâs claiming of you were delicate, something that stretched between obsession and something softer.
Something neither of you could name
Your apartment, once hollow and lonely with your presence, was now filled with a new rhythmâhis footsteps, his voice, and the faint scent of cigarettes along with musk that lingered in your place permanently.
He was no longer just a shadow in your life; his darkness has folded into your light, something that didnât belong together.
Yet they mended like they were meant to be.
The weight of his gaze was there constantly, and his frequent touches because he couldnât stay without touching you even for a minute.
Along with all that, there were several unspoken questions that hung between you, but you didnât dare bring them up, not wanting to ruin the normality you had with him.
Not wanting him to close the shell he let down for you, even if it hurts.
Your small apartment seemed to shift in order to accommodate him. Your couch, the same one that you treated him on several nights before, had gotten used to him.
It bore the imprint of his broad frame along with his leather jacket that was draped over its arm lazily, laying his claim all over your house in a way that even your place got used to.
The kitchen, where once youâd cooked alone in between study sessions, now carried the memory of him standing at the counter, tattooed hand clumsily chopping vegetables for a meal he insisted on making for you after you forgot to eat.
The sight of his broad frame and muscles flexing as he did something so domestic as cooking, you knew he never did for anyone, made your heart flutter.
Your bedroom with its pink sheets and light-colored walls was no longer just yoursâhis presence had claimed it, his scent almost permanent on your bed.
His shadow always lingering but now visible for you.
Jungkook was different now; edges still sharp, but there were still moments of vulnerability from him that caught you off guard.
He spoke more, his voice deep and gravelly, always filling the quietness of your life.
You knew that each of this was slowly cracking the stone wall of his heart.
And you were grateful.
By even getting pieces of him
Û¶à§
One evening as the sun dipped, you sat on the couch, knees tucked under you, a medical textbook forgotten on your lap.
Jungkook stood by the window, a cigarette burning between his fingers, smoke curling in the air when he exhaled. His body clad in a black tank top that showed off his hard, muscled body along with his tattoos, the sight making your thighs squeeze together unknowingly.
âDo you ever think about your parents?â He broke the silence, voice almost hesitant, as if the question came out against his will.
You saw the tension in his shoulders and the way his jaw clenched as he waited for your answer.
You swallowed, throat tight, his question brings back memories of your loss that never really left you.
âEvery day,â you admitted breathily, voice barely there.
âThey died when I was sixteen. Car accident. I⊠I used to think if Iâd been with them, maybe I couldâve done something to save themâI donât know, but I was at school studying for a stupid biology test.â
A whimper left your lips, fingers twisting the fabric of your sweater, helping you to ground yourself against the ache in your chest.
âItâs silly, but I still dream about them sometimes, like they never really left me⊠like theyâre just in the next room, waiting for me.â
âItâs not silly,â he rasped before turning, dark eyes locked onto yours, intense, and for a moment it felt like it was just the two of you and the world disappeared.
Your pulse quickened at his authoritative tone and his need to comfort you, his own eyes holding the trauma of his past.
âMine didnât die,â he said bitterly, âthey just didnât want me. Left me on the streets when I was eight, said I was too much trouble. I learned fast that no oneâs coming to save you. No one loves you unless you make them.â
He took another drag of his cigarette and looked back outside the window; his words were like a knife in your heart, cutting you further and further.
Oh, JungkookâŠ
Everyone in his life abandoned him, and thatâs why he was here so hardened, so guarded that he stopped believing in life itself, and you realized just how alike both your stories are, yet different.
How he struggled all on his own with no one to lean intoâyou always thought that you suffered the most, but now hearing his story made you realize exactly how the universe always treated the ones who didnât deserve it badly.
âI donât know how to be soft, petal. I donât know how to be what you need.â His words brought you out of your thoughts.
The nicknameâpetalâsent a shiver down your spine.
A reminder of how he saw you: fragile, delicate, yet something he couldnât stop touching.
You stood, bare feet carrying you towards him, your heart pounding. You felt the weight of his gaze like a physical touch as he looked directly in your eyes with intensity.
âI donât need soft,â you crooned, hands shaking slightly. âI just need you to be you, Jungkook. The real you, not the monster you think you are.â
His jaw clenched as he stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray.
âYou donât know what youâre asking for.â He growled, stepping closer. His presence was overwhelming for you despite seeing him almost every day now.
He was basically a wall of heat and muscle.
âIâm a criminal, a killer. I've got blood on my hands, and I'll never wash it off. Youâre⊠youâre light, and Iâm the dark thatâll destroy you.â
You reach out with your trembling hand, resting it on his hard chest; you can feel his warmth seeping off the fabric of his tank top. His heart pounded beneath your palm, always wild.
âMaybe I want it,â you whispered, voice small as your eyes searched his, shyness gone for the first time, eyes glistening slightly.
âMaybe Iâm tired of being alone, of being the good girl whoâs always scared. You make me feel alive, Jungkook, even when I'm terrified of you.â
He froze, breath ragged, and for a moment you thought heâd pull away, retreating to his usual nature.
But then his hands were on you, rough and desperate, cupping your face, fingers tracing your features.
His callouses against your soft skin, and you closed your eyes, leaning onto him, body constantly craving him and the rare gentleness he let out sometimes.
âYouâre gonna ruin me,â he muttered, gruffly, lips a few inches away from yours.
âI donât believe in love, petal. Itâs a fucking lie, a trap for the fools. But thisâthis thing I feel for youâit's bigger, it's worse. It's like I need to breathe you in just to keep you going.â
Your heart squeezed as tears spilled down your face from his vulnerability. You gripped his wrists, nuzzling on his palm, anchoring yourself to him, your cheeks warm.
âThen breathe me,â you whispered. âIâm here, Jungkook. I'm not running. Not anymore.â
A groan left his lips, pained, and he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you, not the hungry, devouring kind that he gave you before, but something softer and deeper, and it almost melted as deep in as your soul.
You not being used to it.
His lips were warm, tasting of smoke and whiskey as you both got the chance to explore each other without rushing anything, his tongue gentle while he explored your mouth, coaxing soft whimpers from you.
The room spun, the distant hum of the city fading until it was just himâhis heat, his taste, his heartbeat against yours.
He pulled back, forehead resting against yours, breath mingling with yours, your hand clutching his top.
âI donât know how to do this.â He rasped, vulnerable in a way that made your chest ache. âI donât know how to be close to someone without breaking them.â
Your fingers tangled in his hair, dark strands soft and thick, his eyes falling closed with brows furrowed together, an act you found out that he loved with no words spoken, something that steadied him to reality.
âIâd rather be broken by you than whole with you.â Your voice shook as you finalized
He growls, a sound of frustration and need, pulls you into his arms tightly, almost suffocating you.
You buried your face in his chest, leaving tear stains onto the fabric, the steady thump of his heart comforting you.
His scent enveloped you like always, so uniquely him, grounding you in a way nothing else could.
Û¶à§
Over the next few days, he showed you pieces of himself, of a man shattered by the cruel world, and you knew how hard it was for him to even give those fragments.
He took you to his cabin in the forest, the same forest where he took you that day to give you the best day of your life. The air and environment here were very different than what you were used to. The air smelled of earth and wood, trees surrounding you everywhere.
His place was very different compared to yours, walls lined with shelves of some books and mostly several weapons. It lacked any furniture or accessories.
The place just seemed livable, but it was void of any life⊠something that suited Jungkook
A single bed sat in the corner; dark sheets rumpled from his restless nights. The fireplace was casting a warm glow over the room, and his smell was even heavy here, surrounding you with him in his own world.
He told you about his past, each word a wound laid bare for you to see, his voice low and halting.
âI was a kid when they left me,â his deep voice uttered, sitting on the cabin's porch, you beside him as you both looked at the night sky adorned with stars.
His leather jacket was slung over your shoulders because he knew how easily you get cold.
âdidnât even look back. I survived because I had to, because I learned to fight, to take what I needed. The streets donât care about youâtheyâll eat you alive if you let them.â
He lit a cigarette as you looked at him, admiring his rough beauty that was full of scars telling his story without any words.
âNo one ever loved me, petal. Not my parents, not the gangs I ran with. I'm not built for it, and I cannot give it to anyone.â
Your knees draw up as you hug them, your body leaning against his shoulder, both of you hearing the chirp of crickets.
âI understand,â you said, softly, âmy parents loved me, but theyâre gone, and Iâve been alone ever since. Weâre not so different, you and I. We both know what it is like to lose everything.â
His eyes met yours, dark and searching, and for a moment you saw the boy heâd been, the one whoâd begged for love and found only betrayal.
Your heart hurt in a way you didnât know was possible, heart bleeding for the young boy he had once been.
âYouâre wrong,â he grunts, voice almost angry, âyouâre still soft, still good. I'm⊠I'm a fucking mess, baby. Iâm tainted with blood, and youâyouâre the only thing keeping me from falling apart.â
You reached for his hand, fingers small against his, as his hand gripped yours tightly.
âThen let me hold you together.â Your voice trembled with emotion. âI donât care if youâre a mess, Jungkook. I donât care if youâre a criminal, a monster. I see you, and I'm not afraid.â
He pulled you into his lap, arms wrapping around you as your legs circled his waist, his breath hot against your neck, leaving small, open-mouthed pecks that had you shivering with parted lips, your head falling back slightly.
Your breasts pressed against him, both your hearts racing together, connected.
âYou should be afraid,â he murmured, lips brushing your earlobe before biting it making you moan.
âI could ruin you, petal. I could break you, and I wouldnât even mean to.â
You pulled his face away from your neck and cupped his face, his skin warm, and you felt the tension in him. He was in a war between his need to protect you and his need to possess you.
âIâm not asking for soft Jungkook. I'm asking for you.â You croaked.
He kissed you hungrily, his fingers sliding under your shirt, tracing your soft skin before he undressed you with an urgency.
The porch creaked underneath you both as he made love to you under the starry night. The sounds of the forest mingle with your breathy moans and whimpers along with his occasional groans.
You melted into him, body against his hardness, your heart finally open to his darkness.
Û¶à§
In the days that followed, he did things for youâsmall acts that spoke louder than words.
Heâd make your coffee just the way you liked it and making sure to serve it to you in your favorite pink mug, especially during your late-night study sessions.
He never stopped the habit of leaving you pink roses even though now he was very much into your life. Heâd leave pink roses on your pillow every morning, the sweet smell reminding you of the days when heâd stalk you, how it terrified you yet excited you.
One night you fell asleep on the couch, your head in his lap, and he stayed didnât move you away or remove himself, his fingers stroking your hair, touch awkward but meaningful in a way only for you.
He didnât know how to cuddle, didnât know how to be gentle, but he always tried, fingers trembling as he held you, his heart full of fear and want for you.
Û¶à§
âYouâre making me soft,â he muttered one morning, standing in the kitchen, hair messy from sleep, only wearing underwear after a night of intense passion.
His body still adorned with your scratch and bite marks, something that happens when he drives you closer to madness with the pleasure and pain.
You blush and avert your gaze, focusing on stirring the sugar into your tea. The regular routine you both fell into gave you a peace youâd never known.
âMaybe you were always soft.â You teased with a small giggle, but your voice turned serious: âYou probably just needed someone to see it.â
He scoffed, but there was a flicker in his eyes, something close to hope.
âDonât get your expectations up, petal,â he said gruffly, stepping closer and pulling you to his chest with a yank, making you gasp as you held onto his bare chest. âIâm a bastard. Always will be.â
âAnd Iâm still here,â you huffed, heart laid bare for him easily.
âSo, deal with it.â
He laughed, a rare genuine sound that warmed the room, and he suddenly picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder, making you let out a scream as both your hearty laughs filled the air while he carried you back to the room.
You knew he was a criminal; he had blood on his hands, had no mercy, but you saw something beneath that.
You saw a man, the one who cared, who made you feel alive, who knew what you liked and disliked, memorized the small details of your life, and who would burn anything and anyone just to see you smile.
And you cherished it, every moment, every rose, and every awkward touch because it was himâyour Jungkook.
Your home.
Û¶à§
The night was alive as you returned from a bike ride with Jungkook. Your heart a bubble of joy from the experience, the freedom that only he brought into your life.
His kisses, fierce and consuming, still clung to your lips along with the memory of his hands on your body that left you breathless, claiming you with all of him.
Heâd promised to take you to classes tomorrow and to watch you sleep, his presence a twisted comfort youâd come to crave.
But then heâd said he had to leave for âwork.â The word twisted something inside you.
It wasnât unusual for him to sometimes leave to deal with something that heâd never mention to you, no matter how much you insisted, saying itâs better if you donât know and saying you are too soft for it.
It wasnât the promise of his return that unsettled youâit was something else, you couldnât explain, as if the word carried a weight of something that you couldnât fathom.
It didnât happen before; you never felt like this before he left.
A chill settled in your bones, a bad feeling you couldnât shake as you watched him ride away, the roar of his bike soon fading.
You stood outside your apartment for a minute as you hugged Jungkookâs hoodie tighter around you, oversized fabric swallowing your frame, smelling of his very presence.
Your fingers clutched the fabric, heart still racing from the ride, his touch, and the way heâd made you feel alive in a world that often felt too heavy.
Now that he was gone, that dread returned as you moved slowly, climbing the stairs to your apartment, bringing out your keys.
The moment you pushed open the door, the air suddenly felt heavy and wrong, like someone had invaded it. Your apartment, that was usually warm, was replaced by a stillness.
The scent hit you firstânot Jungkook's familiar cigarettes or musk but something else, something like rust or blood.
Your pulse quickened in fear as you breathed shakily, gripping your hoodie closer, the fabric shielding you against the growing terror.
Your breath hitched as your eyes scanned all over the space, the couch, and your room.
Nothing was out of placeâno overturned furniture or broken thingsâbut the wrongness was very palpable, and it was making your skin crawl.
You took a small step forward, hands trembling as your fingers fumbled for the light switch, wanting to turn it on, but before you could reach itâa creak.
Your blood ran cold, body freezing, eyes fixed in the darkness, and you swore you heard a low, guttural chuckle, and it was enough to make your knees buckle in fear.
âJungkook?â You whispered, hoping with all your might it was him, that he came back and didnât leave you and was just playing a silly prank on you.
But the silence that followed was worse, and you knew deep in your gut that it wasnât him.
This wasnât his darkness, his twisted devotion.
This was something else, something that wanted to hurt you.
You backed away, your heart pounding, breaths coming in short, panicked gasps. Your mind screaming at you to run, call for help, but your feet remained still, frozen in fear and knowing that if you decided to run, it would worsen the situation.
The creak came again, closer now. Your scream lodged in your throat as a man stepped into the light.
He was enormous, towering over you. There was a big scar on his face that looked like a slash from a knife, his teeth crooked as he looked at you.
His lips curled into a smirk, revealing yellow teeth that sent a wave of nausea through you, stomach twisting as you stumbled back, hip hitting the couch.
âSo Jungkookâs been preying on you, little girl,â he said voice dripping with malice and he took another step forward. âGuess his priorities changed, huh? He got himself all soft for a pretty little thing like you. But it's time to take his silly little pet away.â
His words stole the air from your lungs, body shaking beyond your will.
Your mouth opened, Jungkookâs name a desperate plea on your lips, a scream for the man whoâd claimed you, whoâd promised to protect you⊠one that you feared in the past but now you desperately needed it.
âNo, please,â you whimpered, tears welling in your eyes as you shook your head. âWho are youâ"
He laughed, a harsh sound that made your skin prickle with disgust. âOh, how cute, youâre begging already,â he taunted, eyes raking over your frame.
âHeâs got you all wrapped up, doesnât he? But Jungkookâs not here, sweetheart, and Iâm not as patient as he is.â
Your knees gave out, sinking onto the floor, hands scrambling to find something, anything, to defend yourself, but there was nothingâonly the rug beneath your fingers, the door at an impossible distance.
Your tears fell as your chest heaved, trying to breathe against the terror paralyzing you further.
âWhy?â You choked out, âWhat do you want? I donât know anything, I swear. Iââ
He crouched down, face level with yours, his breath making you want to throw up.
âI want Jungkook to hurt,â he said, voice venomous.
âHeâd been like a thorn in my side too long, thinking heâs untouchable, hiding behind his little obsession with you. But youâyouâre his weakness, arenât you? Break you, and I break him.â
He laughed loudly, and your heart shattered, the realization falling over you. You were a weapon held against Jungkook, and the thought of himâdark eyes, his broken heartâbeing hurt because of you was unbearable.
âNo,â you sobbed.
He lunged faster than you could react, his hand clamping over your mouth as you screamed beneath his hand.
âShut up,â he snarled, his other hand gripping your arm, yanking you to your feet. Your body thrashed, screams muffled, but he was too strong, his strength bruising you.
He laughed, his fingers tightening.
âFiery little thing,â he mocked, âJungkook trained you well, didnât he?â
You bit his hand hard, teeth sinking into his flesh, and he roared, releasing you, and you stumbled back vision blurring with tears, your mind set on getting to Jungkook, wanting him to come protect you like he has always done.
You turned to run, feet slipping as your hands finally reached the door, for freedom, for him.
But the man was faster, his arms wrapping around your waist, a sob of fear and pain escaping you as he backhanded you hard enough that it split your lips, blood dripped as the metallic taste filled your mouth.
âYouâre not going anywhere,â he growls, your mouth opened for another scream, voice raw, body shaking as you fight with all you can, nails clawing at his arm, drawing blood.
But the man only laughed at your weak attempt, his hand reared back carrying something heavy, and before you know it, a sharp, blinding pain exploded in your head, consuming you.
Your vision blurred, the world fading as you fell on the floor.
Your last thought was of Jungkookâhis promise, his obsessionâand the hope that heâd find you before it was too late.
Everything went black, Jungkookâs name a whisper on your lips.
ââââ
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â â§ guilty as sin
pairing: mingyu x reader
genre: smut (18+ / mdni), non-idol au, open ending ... (pt 2 perhaps?)
word count: 8k
description: the thought crosses your mind that this is something you definitely shouldn't be doing. that what you're just about to do will be a terribly wrong move for you and your freshly broken heart.
warnings: alcohol & (mentions of) marijuana consumption
tags: mingyu and reader went to same high school, y/n and mingyu both are freshly out of relationships, blowjobs, sex, dirty talk, idk they banter a lot i think theyre cute so believe me
a/n: so this is a fun little piece ... i do have a plot outline for a part 2 and 3 but totally depends on if u guys want to see more of them ... anyways i know i have been mia with my writing but i really like this piece so i hope u all enjoy >_< tysm to the lovely @gyuswhore who beta read this for me bc everyone knows i don't proofread anything

âHeâs single.â
You ignore Nayeonâs statement, pretending to scroll through a cafeâs website on your phone.
âHeâs single,â she repeated, clearing her throat for a moment before. Sheâs unsure if you heard her.
Still no response. You try bopping your head to music, hoping Nayeon will think youâre extremely engrossed in the faint music from the radio.
She doesnât.
âMingyuâs single, damnit!â Nayeon yells out this time, and you obviously are caught off guard by the way you nearly jump out of your seat.
You crane your neck at her and frown. âI know Mingyuâs single! I know heâs single, Nayeon, but that doesnât explain why he never replied to my message!â you cry out, throwing your hands in the air. âIf anything, this makes things worseâthat means heâs available and plain doesnât want anything to do with me.â
Nayeon shakes her head at you, turning her eyes back to the road. âThatâs not true. I heard he only broke up with his ex recently. Maybe heâs just taking a break from ⊠well, you know: other girls. I think thatâs fair.â You donât say anything, but you know sheâs right. âAnd I think âŠâ Nayeon follows, while you mentally prepare for what you know sheâll say, âI think you should learn to do that too.â
âNayeon!â you whine.
âWhat? You also just broke up with Taehyunâthere should be a waiting period, donât you think? At least likeâfour months.â
âFour months?!â you screech. Itâs a passing thought that sheâs right. Deep down, you know that space is just what you needâa vacation from boysâall of them.
âYes, four months. Seriously, do you think youâre even emotionally over Taehyun?â
You frown at her question, because you both know the answer to that. For godâs sake, youâd called her crying over how you fucked up by breaking up with him. âI meanââ
âYou know, I donât even think four months would be long enough for you. Youâre so far gone, I think you might need at least a year before you can emotionally commit to someone.â
âWow,â you say dryly. âDidnât know you knew me better than myself.â
Nayeon smirks at you. âI mean, I think we both know thatâs true.â
You huff, crossing your arms over your shoulder, looking at the window. Even with her rather annoying (albeit correct) analysis of your feelings, youâre grateful for her emotional support, and her offer to pick you up from the airport.
âHow have you and Cheol been,â you ask her a few moments later, hopefully diverting the conversation. Nayeon huffs at your persistence on not talking about this, but she finally lets up.
âWeâve been good. Long distance has been easier than we expected,â she replies honestly.
âThatâs good, Iâm glad,â you say, trying to ignore the way your heart pangs just a little. Itâs unfortunate that you and Taehyun werenât so lucky. You two lasted ten months of long distance before things began to crumble.
You push the thought of you and Taehyun to the back of your mind. Just even hearing his name is enough for your stomach to turning into ugly knots, memories flooding back to you about just how badly you fucked up.
You try to remind yourself that mistakes happen to be learned from.
You can only hope that you donât let anything like that happen again. Ever again.

Itâs the next night when Nayeon climbs into your car as you park out in front of her place. âComing home for break never really gets old, huh,â she says, buckling up over her lacy top.
âCute top,â you compliment as you pull out of her driveway and make your way back onto the road.
âThanks. Cheol got it for me,â she replies with a grin. âYou ready for the night?â she asks with a slightly sarcastic laugh.
âRhetorical question?â you shoot back with a raised brow. âHonestly, Iâm not sure. It might be nice to see everyone together again, but also Iâm glad that we left a lot of those people in the past.â
âOoh, what do you mean by that?â Nayeon coos, and you both laugh together.
âAs if you donât know what I mean. I canât imagine youâre exactly looking forward to seeing Renjun again.â
Nayeon grimaces deeply when you say that. âWhy would you say that?â she whines. âJust had to go and remind me about him âŠâ
âNayeon, I love you but Iâm not apologizing because youâre literally going to see him in ten minutes.â
âWhatever. Anyways, I know I told you to take time away from guys, but youâve been pretty mopey about this whole thing with Taehyun andââ
âHey! You said it was okay if I talked about him.â
âBefore you rudely cut me off,â Nayeon snaps, âI was going to say that itâs okay to be upset about him. I just think maybe itâs also okay to let him out of your system, yâknow? Deep clean sorta thing.â
You cock an eyebrow at her. âAnd how do you suggest I do that?â
âWell I was getting to that! You know whoâs going to be there tonight?â she says excitedly.
âOh let me guess,â you say flatly, pausing for an intentional five seconds before deadpanning, âoh my gosh, Mingyu?â
âYeah! Come on, be more excited about it!â Nayeon cheers you on.
You sigh dramatically. âYou know, I would be a lot more excited about seeing him if he didnât air me when I messaged him a month ago.â You physically cringe whenever the image of your lone message in the chat with Mingyu pops into your head.
are you going to be home for the break?
He never responded, casually on brand for Mingyu and his nonchalance.
âThe others havenât talked to him since high school right?â you confirm with Nayeon. âNone of you guys were really friends with him, if I remember correctly.â
âYeah, I mean all of them donât like him,â Nayeon says, referring to her other group of friends. You furrow your eyebrows.
âI guess he was kinda mean in high school âŠâ you reply with a sigh. Itâs true. Mingyu was kinda mean. Nayeon gives you a questionable look.
âNoâwell yeahâbut they all donât like him because they liked him and he didnât give a shit. Hell, even I thought Mingyu was cute, but he would like never do anything with any of us.â
You purse your lips. You didnât know that. âOh really,â you say dryly.
âYeah,â Nayeon says with a half laugh, and then shoots you a smirk. âThatâs kinda why at the beginning of senior year Seoyeon was kinda, well, you knowââ
âBitchy,â you finished off for her. âI guess it makes sense,â you continue with a little sparkle in your eyes. You feel a wave of giddiness wash over you as you let yourself smile when you say, âI mean, I did get to kiss him.â
When you were with Taehyun, you always tried to avoid thinking about what happened that one night in senior year. Drunk for the first time ever, sharing a few puffs of weed with Mingyu, and there you and him were, cuddling on Nayeonâs friendâs couch in the living room in front of all of your friends. And then eventually the couch turned into a bed, and you werenât surrounded by your friends, you were surrounded by four walls and a locked door, and of course you werenât cuddlingâdamn itâyou were on Mingyuâs lap and kissing him.
But of course, it was no perfect evening, because then the ruckus that follows 10 shots of alcohol began to crawl up your throat, and Nayeon was banging on the door (god, whoâs room even was this?); so you flung yourself out of the room and hurled into the toilet across the hall.
Thatâs all you remember from the night, but unfortunately your friends reminded you of your rather poor alcohol decisions when you were sober the next morning.
âYou kissed Mingyu!â they had said. âThatâs fucking crazy. Didnât you like him like two years ago?â
You had grimaced at them. Shrugged, trying to act like that wasnât all that was running through your head because yeah, you did like Mingyu two years ago and it mightâve been a silly little hallway crush but god, if he didnât have your stomach doing twists and turns for no damn reason andâ
Eyes on the road, you remind yourself when you feel like youâre getting too caught up in your thoughts. Clearing your mind as you near the parking lot of the bar, you and Nayeon chat up on the latest gossip about all the people youâre about to see.
Soon, you make it into the bar, and youâre met with a myriad of familiar faces. They greet you with polite small talk and itâs a little bit funny. You have seen these people at quite possibly the most embarrassing era of their lives; and they had seen you at yours. Itâs funny how you now exchange awkward smiles and unfamiliar handshakes with these same people.
You say hi to them slowly, one by one, checking them off in your head. Renjun ⊠Joshua ⊠Wonwoo ⊠Seungkwan ⊠Soonyoung ⊠and the list goes on. Silently, you brace yourself for the last person of the lot.
Everyoneâs conversing among themselves, so youâre confident that no oneâs going to watch the horribly awkward interaction you and Mingyu have when your eyes meet as you approach him. You both might have agreed to pretend nothing ever happened between you two, but thereâs something uneasy in the air right now. You havenât seen each other in over a year.
Youâve been watching him from the corner of your vision. Heâs got on a black button up, casually unbuttoned, shiny watch glinting against the dim bar lights, dark wash jeans that make his butt look really nice andâ
God, you need to stop getting so ahead of yourself. You find yourself almost faltering in your step, getting caught up in your thoughts when you approach him.
âHi,â you say to Mingyu once you finally find yourself in front of him. You try and distract yourself from the way heat is rushing to your face as you remember that heâs probably read the message you sent him, but you hope he wonât bring it up.
âLong time no see,â Mingyu responds with a smile you canât quite read. You two stand in a bit of an awkward silence before you get the feeling that you donât really want to be in this situation anymore. You clear your throat and straighten your back upon the realization.
âWell,â you say, letting your eyes wander elsewhere in the bar. âIt was nice seeing you. Iâm gonna justââ you point at Nayeon with a few of your other friends by the barstools, ââget going, you know, andââ you almost find yourself rambling before you choose to shut yourself up and walk away.
As youâre turning away, you hear Mingyu call your name for god knows what reason.
âWe should catch up,â he says casually.
There it is. Thatâs it.
You turn back to him for just a moment, flashing a smile and a nod, before going back to spend some time with your other friends.
Itâs about an hour and a half later, and you and your girl friends are past the pleasantries and now knee-deep into sharing the raunchy details of the past few semesters at college.
At some point, the drinks everyone had gotten at the beginning seemed to be running dry, so Seoyeon says, âHey ladies, anyone ready for another few rounds of drinks, orââ
âOr even better!â Sakura squeals. âShots! Who wants shots?!â
All of your friends cheer, and you smile along with them. âYou guys go ahead,â you tell them when they start picking their stuff from where youâre seated to the bar area. âIâm driving tonight, so Iâll pass,â you explain, patting Nayeon on the shoulder.
She hugs you from the side, murmuring, âUgh, youâre the best,â before joining the others as they head for their new round of drinksâor shots, was itâor maybe bothâwho knows? As they start walking away, you see a tall figure walking toward you, and once you recognize just who itâs about to be, your stomach does a flip.
âHey,â Mingyu greets you once again, after the others all leave, and youâre scared to look him in the eye. You can see it from the corner of your vision: that gleam in his eyes. Itâs mischievous, almost, but mixed with something else you canât quite figure out.
Heâs an enigma, you remind yourself again, and you donât think youâll ever quite figure him out.
âHey,â you say softly, unsure what to follow with. You grip your mocktail from earlier a little tighter, using your other hand to stir it round with the thin straw.
âSo, howâve you been?â Mingyu asks you with a smile, raising both his eyebrows in a way that almost makes you want to call him cute. He leans against a wall beside you both, and goshâitâs sexy too, and itâs driving you âcause heâs cute and heâs sexy at the same damn time, and you just canât wrap your miâ
The question. You need to answer his question.
âIâve been ⊠alright,â you tell him, finally lifting your gaze to look up at his eyes. Theyâre staring right back at you, and you may not be under the influence, but youâre definitely under his. âPretty good, recently actually,â you decide to add, some rush of excitement flooding over you. âYou?â
Mingyu smiles at your near chirpiness, still holding eye contact. âGuess I could say the same. Iâve been better,â he says, and you both chuckle. âBut Iâve been doing good, especially back here at home,â he says.
âYeah,â you agree, âSomething about this place, huh?â
âSomething about this place âŠâ Mingyu repeats, âYeah. Well thatâs fuckinâ true. It makes me feel a certain way.â
âBrings back the memories for me,â you say.
âThe good?â Mingyu asks with a bit of an open-mouthed smile. âOr the bad?â
You look up at the ceiling, holding a finger to your chin while pretending to think intensely. âBoth!â you conclude after a few seconds. Mingyu lets out a small laugh at your display, and then you find yourself thinking about that stupid four letter word. Cute.
âCheers to that,â he chuckles, holding his bottle of beer up to you. You hold your mocktail glass up as well, clicking the glass with Mingyu and smiling together.
âHey,â he continues, âcan I get you another drink? Not sure how long youâve been holding onto that one, but it seems like itâs no good now anyways.â
âOh, no, no, no! Iâm not drinking tonightâgotta get Nayeon and myself home safely. This is so I still look like Iâm having a drink. Mocktail,â you tell him.
âOh really? Thatâs funny. I never took you as a DD kinda girlâIâm much more familiar with the version of you that ⊠well, you know.â
Yeah, yeah you did fucking know.
âWhat can I say, Iâm a changed woman,â you claim coolly, aiming to act unbothered by what he just brought up. You take this as your chance to lean into him a little closer, holding your drink up to his nose. âWhat? Donât believe me? Smell it.â
This time, Mingyu leans in even closer to you, hardly a foot of space between you two. You can only hope no one sees you two like this. Luckily for you and Mingyu, everyone seems to be a bit preoccupied with their own shenanigans elsewhere.
âGuess I believe you,â he finally concludes, lifting his head back up and settling back in his previous position. âSo howâs school? Heard youâre running with thatâwhat is itâmath degree?â
âYeah,â you reply with a smile. The thought of Mingyu hearing about you and remembering the details has you feeling some kind of way. âGot a few more courses left and then I can graduate! Iâm assuming the same for youâonly two more semesters, yeah?â
âYeah, pretty much. I might go abroad this next semester actually,â he tells you.
âOh really. Whereâre you headed?â
âSpain, hopefully. Still waiting to see if Iâll be able to graduate on time if I go.â
âWow,â you say in a breath. The image of Mingyu walking the roads of Spain under the sun, his tan skin glowing from theâ âWow, yeah. Spain is really cool. Iâve never been.â
âYou should stop by,â Mingyu says with a shrug, almost too casually. You narrow your eyebrows at him.
Just as youâre about to respond, Nayeon drapes herself over you from behind, a little more than tipsy to add. Youâre a bit startled, eyes wide and facing Mingyu as you both take a few steps, backing away from each other.
âHey,â Nayeon greets with a faint slur, pointing a lazy finger at Mingyu. âThis,â she says exaggeratedly, this time moving her finger to point at you, âis my lovely DD for the night, so Iâd appreciate it if you donât take her out for a puff.â
Mingyu gives her a flat look. âWasnât planning on it,â he says dryly, clearly bothered by Nayeonâs interruption.
Nayeon shrugs and youâre a little bit confused as to why sheâs suddenly acting with this edge of hostility towards Mingyu. (Last you checked, their families were friends, and Nayeon was one of the only girls here who didnât truly dislike him.)
âWouldnât count on it, you know, given what happened the last time,â Nayeon bites back, and this time youâre the one to be slightly irritated.
You shrug her off your back, saying, âNayeon, donât worry, Iâm not gonna smoke or anythingâtrust me.â You think thoughtfully, glancing between her and Mingyu who has an indecipherable look on his face, and then you add, âAnd Mingyu wouldnât anyways. I already told him Iâm driving home. Why donât you go hang out with Sakura? Looks like sheâs calling you over.â
âReally?â Nayeon squeals, and just as quickly as she showed up, sheâs gone again.
You chuckle as she hurries off, turning back to Mingyu. âSorry about that,â you tell him sheepishly when you catch the way his lips are pursed tightly.
âYour friends will never let that up, huh?â he says, and you think he almost sounds annoyed as he takes a sip of his drink.
You raise a brow. âHave your friends let it up? Probably not, huh?â you bite back, a little mischievously. Youâre both teetering around the topicânot exactly talking about what happened that night years ago, but at the same time, youâre both definitely talking about just exactly that.
Mingyu chuckles. âTouche.â
Youâre unsure of what to say next. You canât quite tell where this conversation is headedâif itâll lead you to another dead endâanother few years of shoving your lust for Mingyu to the back of your mind before he pops up again and makes you start all over again. Thereâs always going to be a little spark though, kindling somewhere inside you, ready to plunge yourself into this man you hardly know.
âSenior year was kinda crazy, wasnât it?â you say with a sly smile.
When Mingyu mirrors the look on your face, you swear you feel the spark turn into a small flame. âYeah, you could put it like that.â
Youâre surely not intoxicated, but when you sense him shuffling a little closer to you, running his hands through his thick dark hair, a wave of boldness courses through you. âDo you miss it?â you ask, almost innocently, with your big pretty eyes staring up at him.
Mingyu smirks. âI probably should say no ⊠but that would be lying. And I am no longer a liar.â
âOh, has the Kim Mingyu retired from his title of pathological liar?â
Mingyu laughs this time, and itâs hearty. âI have, but just for tonight.â
âDoes that mean Iâm never going to see this truthful, honest version of yourself again?â you whine with a fake pout. Youâre treading unfamiliar waters here, but you canât remember the last time you had this much fun single.
Mingyu gives you a warning look, but then smiles. He opens his mouth, ready to respond, when Joshua calls out his name.
âYo Mingyu! Check this out!â he yells from across the bar.
âGive me a second,â Mingyu calls back, but just as heâs about to turn back to you, Wonwoo speaks up.
âNah Mingyu, you gotta come over now. Soonyoungâs doing this weird ass thing andâhurry up! Heâs not gonna do it again andââ You hear a series of unintelligible shouts come from that area, and Mingyu gives an apologetic look before tending to his friends.
Thereâs something in his eyes that told you, this isnât finished yet, but before you know it your friends scoop you up from the table area and pull you over to where theyâre playing pool. Soon, any hopes you had of talking to Mingyu again were slim to none, both of you two involved with whatever your friends were doing, but also conscious about how it would look if you guys talked alone for any longer.
You canât handle the speculation.
Youâre pretty confident Mingyu wouldnât be a fan either.
Later that night, you drop Nayeon off at her house, and then make your way back to your own home. After doing your nightly routine, you slip into the soft covers of your bed when you hear a soft buzz come from your phone.
Youâre not exactly sure whoâd be texting you at this hour, but as you reach for your device, something in your stomach just knows.
Youâre smiling before you even tap your screen.
Youâre grinning by the time you see the name pop up brightly.
mingyu: my fault for not responding earlier mingyu: so boba tomorrow at 8?

âCanât remember the last time I had boba past 6 pm, to be honest. Weird choice,â you remark, tapping on the kiosk to adjust your order to your liking.
âYou gonna be sassy about every decision I make?â Mingyu huffs, standing right by you in the empty little boba shop. You hum, as you continue to finalize your order.
âMm, that depends.â
âOn?â
âOn what kinda decisions you make.â
Mingyu scoffs. âYouâre impossible.â
âYeah, thatâs kinda my thing, you know?â you reply cheekily, clicking on the âReady to Payâ option on the screen. Just as youâre about to pull out your card, a firm hand is on your shoulder. You look up at Mingyu as he gently pushes you to the side and replaces your spot in front of the kiosk.
You donât say anything as he punches in his own order, pulls out his credit card, and pays for both of your drinks. As the machine outputs the receipt, you show him a small smile. âThanks. You didnât have to.â
Mingyu gives you a look. âYeah, I did.â Thereâs a bit of an awkward silence. Mingyu paying for your drink isnât too weirdâyour guy friends in college buy you food all the time! Albeit you do occasionally return the favor, it never feels anything more than platonic.
So why does it give you butterflies when Mingyu so casually puts you under his tab?
You choose not to care. Youâre not expecting anything out of this, after all. This is just for all good funâreminiscing, if you wanted to put it like that.
âWhatâd you get?â you ask him, breaking the silence, as you peer over his arm to glance at the receipt. The action has your cheek brushing against his shoulder, and something tells you the both of you are thinking about it just as much as the other.
âPassionfruit green tea,â he says, holding the receipt closer to you so you can read it more clearly.
âMmm, yummy,â you say gleefully, giving Mingyu a cheeky smile.
âHey,â he scoffs. âI didnât say Iâd let you try my drink! Donât get ahead of yourself now,â he teases.
You pout and furrow your eyebrows. âWhat the hell, Mingyu? Why not?â you cry out overdramatically. âOh come on, I was gonna share my toffee caramel tea with you!â
Mingyu rolls his eyes playfully. âI donât like toffee.â
âI didnât know that! I would have ordered something else then.â
âToo bad you didnât,â Mingyu replies with a carefree shrug.
You glare at him, stomach fluttering with something youthfulâyouâre having fun with Mingyu. âThatâs not fair!â you whine.
âMust suck,â he says indifferently, watching you cross your arms over your chest from the corner of his vision. Something sparks inside Mingyu in the moment, watching you look up at him through your thick lashes. âMaybe I can give you a sip or two âŠâ
Your eyes glow. âReally?â
Mingyu grins. âYeah, but youâre going to have to repay me.â
Your eyes meet, and thereâs something electric in the way you look at each other. The thought crosses your mind that this is something you definitely shouldnât be doing. That what you're just about to do will be a terribly wrong move for you and your freshly broken heart.
But Mingyuâs eyes are glimmering, and thereâs something in your stomach that is yelling at you to stop thinking so damn much and slam on the accelerator. You beam up at him with a challenging gaze.
âHow do you want me to do that?â
An hour later youâre in Mingyuâs room, stumbling through his door with your hands already all over each other. His lips are soft against yours, peppering short but hot kisses all over you, your face, your neck andâgod, fuck, how does he know about that one spot on your neck?
âAh, Mingyu,â you moan quietly when his hands palm at your hip, fingers sliding under your shirt and brushing over your skin. His hands are warm, but still you shiver at the touchâjust knowing itâs Mingyu and you, alone in this moment, is enough to have your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Well, that, and the way heâs got his tongue tracing over your collarbone. Heâs too good at this, you think to yourself for a moment, before getting lost in the feeling. Soon, he brings his lips back to yours, and you kiss fervently as you stumble backwards into his bed.
With the back of your knees hitting the mattress, you both go tumbling onto the sheets, and suddenly everything feels all too familiar. Mingyuâs hands in your hair. Your lips glossy and swollen as you start to press kisses into his neck. The growing heat between the two of you.
You and Mingyu twist around in the sheets for a blissful moment, clothes and hair going awry as your limbs intertwine in this hot, messy mess of a hook-up. At some point, Mingyu ends up underneath you, back propped up against the mattress so that heâs sitting up straight, your legs straddling him as you nestle in his lap.
With your hands all over each other, heâs got his grip on your hips, pushing them up and forward in a curved motion that has you grinding against him. âFuck,â you whimper when you feel his painfully hard length brush against your throbbing heat.
Your tummy tumbles at the prospects of whatâs to come. Pulling back from Mingyuâs hot lips, you get to see him in a way you never thought youâd get to againâcheeks flushed, eyes fluttered shutted, and swollen lips partially open and panting for breath. His dark wisps of hair come down over his forehead, sticking to the thin layer of sweat that coats his tan skin.
Slowly Mingyu begins to open high eyes, laughing lightly. The sound makes you want to grin into eternity. Gently, he cups your face and pulls you in for a kiss, this one much softer, much lighter than the ones before.
Mingyu kisses you with whatâdare you say itâcare. He kisses you with care, he holds your chin as if it were made of glass, he brushes his tongue against yours in a way that tells you he wouldnât want to be anywhere else but here andâ
The thoughts have you reeling. Has being sexless for the past few months made you this vulnerable? you think to yourself in a passing moment; has the lack of male physical contact been this detrimental to your ability to have sex without feelings?
The moment passes, and you choose to push your thoughts to the back of your mind, pushing your lips harder into Mingyuâs to fuel a more fiery, more aggressive kiss. He groans into it, and the burning heat you feel every time you grind down on it makes it impossible for you to wait longer.
Slowly, you pull away from him and scoot down the bed between his legs. For a moment, Mingyu is still in a daze, eyes half open as he still imagines the feeling of his lips on yours. You inch down further, bringing your hands closer and closer to the waistband of his jeans.
Right as your fingers brush over the little bit of skin that peeks between his shirt and his belt, Mingyu lets out a soft gasp. Looking up at him, youâre met with the sight of his blown out eyes as he reaches down to hold your face again.
âI-I know I said you gotta repay me, but you know, you donât really have toânot like this at least. I mean you can, but not if you donââ Mingyu rambles for a moment, and you almost want to use that god-forsaken word. Cute.
âHey,â you say quietly, pressing your index finger to his lip. âLemme do thisâI want to.â You feel him relax under you, the finger that was on his lips slowly tracing down his jaw and then his neck, inching to his collar andâ
Oh, heâs already gotten started on unbuttoning his shirt. You almost forget to get back at it, with the way youâre staring him down right now. Mingyu chuckles a little, watching the way your eyes dilate as you gaze over him.
âLike what you see?â He says it in a way like he knows what heâs doing to you. Like he knows youâve got a puddle between the crest of your thighs.
Youâre not shameful enough to stop yourself from grinning and nodding, âI do.â
Mingyuâs eyes flame with that hunger youâve seen before. He likes the way youâre doing this. âYouâre the fuckinâ devil arenât you?â he coos, as you start to unbuckle his belt, pulling down the waistband of his pants. He lifts his hips as you pull them further down, patiently waiting for your response.
âThe devil ⊠you must think red suits me then,â you say it like a question. The way you smile tells Mingyu youâve got something hidden up your sleeve. While he shrugs off his unbuttoned shirt, you sit nestled between his legs still fully clothed.
Mingyu watches you as you tug at the hem of your shirt before gently pulling it over your head, revealing a deep red lacy bra underneath.
âSpeak of the devil herself,â Mingyu breathes out with a small smile, continuing to watch as you shimmy off your bottoms and reveal matching red panties. You admit: itâs doing a lot for a first boba date, but you canât help but think it fits the scene perfectly.
Mingyu leans forward, pressing kissing on the bare skin of your chest as you play with the waistband of his briefs before finally pushing them down to reveal his length. Looking down, itâs long and itâs pretty and itâs thick, with veins pushing up against the sides.
With a soft gasp, you pull away from Mingyu and slowly settle yourself lower in the bed so that youâre laying stomach side down right in between his legs. Mingyu watches you from his view above; he watches the ways your eyes slowly gaze over his dick, fingers inching toward it before finally wrapping around the base.
He nearly gasps when you doâand Kim Mingyu is no virginâbut something about the warmth in your fingertips and the softness in your touch has him feeling electric. So when you bring your tongue to his shiny tip and lap, he straight up moans.
The sound alone has you opening your mouth wider, taking him fully into your mouth and down. Immediately, Mingyuâs hands shoot to your head, scooping up bundles of your hair and holding it behind your head. Slowly, you find yourself in a pattern of moving your head up and down, except thereâs just one problem.
Mingyu is far too big and heâs far too gentleâyou canât fit enough of him in your mouth and heâs not exactly pushing you down so you think itâs time to take some action.
So as gently as you can, you begin to hollow out your cheeks and push yourself further down his length, eyes shutting when he hits the back of your throat. At once, you hear a loud groan and if you could move your lips right now, youâd be grinning.
And so you do it again. You pull your head back up and just as your lips are about to leave his tip you come back down and push as far as you can go, each time going a bit further down than the last. You do it a few more times before your jaw begins to ache for a break, and you pull yourself off of him completely.
Youâre met with Mingyuâs dazed eyes as you look up. âYouâre crazy,â he pants, fingers still tangled in your hair. âHoly fuck, youâre crazy.â
You grin up at him. âSorry,â you say cheekily, watching as he throws his head back, taking deep breaths of air. His firm chest rises up and down heavily, and the heat between your legs grows at the realization that youâre the one to have him like this.
âDonât apologizeâshitâthat was soâd-do that again,â he says, eyes darkening when he looks back down at you. His hands gingerly wipe some tears from your cheeks, going back up to hold your hair all the way back again. âThat was so fucking hot.â
Your stomach churns as you part your lips again, wrapping them around his tip which now adorns a pretty stream of pre. He groans again when you envelop him in your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks as you start to move down again.
To be honest, youâre not usually this good at giving head, but with Mingyu, heâs got thisâoh, there it isâthe way your name rolls of his lips in a deep, guttural tone that has you gushing in your panties, and then you canât help but press down more.
So you do it again, and again, until Mingyuâs practically thrusting his hips up as you take him into your mouth, his handsome face glistening with sweat from restraining himself. You donât know how much time goes by but at some point you feel a tug; you look up and itâs Mingyuâs hands guiding your head off of him and pulling you into his mouth.
He kisses you messily, tongues licking into each othersâ mouths as you shift so that youâre back at straddling him. With Mingyu fully naked, your bare stomach presses against his skin when his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close.
Instinctively, your arms wrap around Mingyuâs neck as you continue to kiss into him, bodies melting into one. You ease back to your previous movement of grinding into him, but with such little fabric between the two of you this time, itâs getting harder and harder to wait.
It doesnât take long for his hand to make its way to your panties, rubbing your heat over the soaked fabric for a moment before lifting it and pushing it to the side.
Mingyu pulls away now, watching your face slowly contort into expressions of pleasure as he runs his fingers up and down between your sopping hole and clit.
âMingyu,â you manage to whimper through heavy breaths.
âYeah baby?â The nickname itself nearly has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. He probably doesnât have a clue about what he does to you.
âCanât wait,â you tell him quickly, hands already grabbing for his glistening length. Mingyu, a little startled by your forwardness, falters back into the headboard a bit, relaxing for hardly a second before he feels your fingers guiding his dick toward your hole.
He thought heâd sit there and finger you firstâgive you a good eating out because if anything, Mingyuâs always really wanted a taste of you firstâbut something about the way you look at him with these eyes that look like youâd give him the world and more has him bending to your needy wishes/
So, when his tip is finally at your entrance, you both moan loudly. Your fingers make your way up to Mingyuâs neck, playing with the soft and short hairs that sit at the nape of his neck. âOh,â you say in a sigh when his hips gently push you down to envelope his tip.
Even having him in your mouth couldnât prepare you for taking Mingyuâs length inside of you. His tip, thick and bulbous, presses into you, and inch by inch you begin to let out small gasps.
âYouâreâholy shit, youâre so big, Mângyu,â you whimper.
You say it so cutely, Mingyu canât help but groan under his breath. âYeah?â he manages out, trying to hide the extent to which youâve got him in a daze. âCanât take it?â he coos.
Mingyu is, at the very least, extremely pleased when youâyou, in your lustful, hazy stateâstill manage to cock an eyebrow at him and retort, âOf course I can.â
âAtta girl,â Mingyu murmurs, smiling with pride as he reaches for hips. Lowering your body over his dick, he watches you carefully while you continue to take him all in.
The way your chest heaves up and down in short breaths as you try to control yourself. The way your eyebrows pinch together every few seconds when you let out a small moan. The way your stomach twitches and turns when he brushes a finger over your clit.
Youâre beautiful. Youâre so beautiful to Mingyu, he doesnât think anyone can comprehend all the ways he wants to fuck you right now. Well, that is, anyone but you, because as soon as your bottom is pressed against Mingyuâs legs and youâve gone as far down as you can go, you bring yourself back up and grind back down on his dick.
âFuck, do that again,â Mingyu demands, but it comes out as nothing more than a pleading gasp as you both get used to the feeling of each otherâitâs overwhelming, yet in the best way possible. âYouâre so damn hot,â he murmurs when you repeat the motion, pressing wet kisses into your neck.
Each roll of your hips is punctuated with a quiet moan from your lips, the two of your lips meeting every few moments in a fiery but fleeting kiss. Mingyu fills you up so deeply, in a way that leaves you wanting more and more.
Your body is on fire and you canât seem to stop now. Itâs justâMingyuâs got his dick pressing all the spots inside of you that have you biting down on your bottom lip, that have you digging your fingers into the hard muscle of his shoulder, that have you moaning into his mouth.
But even your own body has limits, because while the feeling of you bouncing back down on his length every time is nothing short of euphoric, your legs only have so much strength. Gradually, your legs begin to get sore.
Within seconds Mingyu notices the falter in your movements, and suddenly his hands are under your thighs, picking you up, and flipping you onto your back. Your back is now against the mattress, head resting on a soft pillow as Mingyu readjusts above you.
âGetting tired?â Mingyu chuckles, as he reaches down for his dick, aligning it at your entrance once more. A needy whine escapes your throat when he finally is inside of you again, his length filling up what felt far too empty in those passing moments before.
âDidnâtâah! D-Didnât take you as the type to make the girl do a-all the work,â you bite back.
Mingyu cocks his eyebrow at you, and you almost want to grin at the way his eyes darken at your challenging comment. âYou got a bad bad mouth, huh? Letâs see if you can talk much anymore soon.â You open your mouth to respond, but at the last moment, Mingyu pushes that last bit of his length inside of you, effectively rendering you speechless as you see stars and try to quiet the rush in your ears. Mingyu just laughs. âDidnât think so.â
He pauses for a few seconds inside of you, and you take this chance to admire him in a way you didnât get to before. His skin is flushed all over, pink blooming over his cheeks as he swipes a tongue over his lips. As your gaze travels down, you catch sight of his abs once again, and you canât help but grin at just the idea of getting to see him like this.
Now, Mingyu starts out with his first thrust. Itâs deep, and unforgiving might you add. You shriek loudly, not expecting to fill you up even more than before, yet somehow itâs both equally overwhelming and infinitely more euphoric.
Based on the volume of your response to the first, he follows with another thrust, this one nearly as moving. Your responses mimic the last, and soon, Mingyu enjoys the pleasure of seeing you become a moaning mess beneath him.
So there Mingyu is, fucking the daylights out of you, one his palm cupping your cheek. And now here he goes, jotting his thumb out and pushing against your lips. It doesnât even take a second for you to part your lips, his thumb slipping inside.
âGood fucking girl,â he grunts under his breath where you roll your tongue over the pad of his finger tip. Faintly, Mingyu recalls the way you swiped your tongue over his dick and there he goes with a particularly hard thrust at the thought.
Your legs are folded up completely, thighs pressing into your chest deeply every time Mingyu pounds into you. A moan stifles up one after another, muffled by his thumb in your mouth, but somehow not getting any quieter.
Itâs around this point when Mingyu starts to feel it, the way you squirm a bit more after each deep, pointed thrust. The way your mouth starts to widen more and more, moans getting louder by the moment. The way youâre tightening around himâand there goes his queue.
His thumb in your mouth is pulled out and quickly moved down your stomach between your legs and right on your clit. Thatâs when you move from moaning to downright whimperingâwhiningâinto Mingyuâs shoulders.
Your toes begin to tighten as he continues to slam into you, every muscle in your body beginning to go limp as you rake your fingers into his back, trying to hold on to something to ground you.
âI know baby,â Mingyu moans, his hands holding onto your hips with such a tightness you know youâll be left with bruises.
âIâm sâclose,â you manage to gasp out, hips meekly pushing up as well to meet Mingyuâs half way. Youâre trying your best to keep to it together but fuck, it all feels so goodâhis skin is so hot but somehow your core feels even hotter.
You feel tears of pleasure roll down your cheeks when you finally feel itâMingyuâs length so deep inside of you, pressing up against your walls in all the right placesâand so you crash.
Moaning and whimpering and writhing beneath him, you cry out when you finish, âMingyu, fuck! Iâmââm coming.â
To which Mingyu gently kisses your neck while roughly pounding into you harder, now trying to meet his own end in deep fervor. âI know baby, I know jusââfuck,â he nearly cuts himself off with his own moan when he feels your tight pussy squeeze around him. âJustâ hold on for me a little longer sâoh.â
Youâve got some spell on him. Thatâs got to be it. A damn spell has got to be the reason Mingyuâs finding himself way quicker than heâs ever before.
Youâre brain is a bit too fucked to register the beautiful mix of shock and pleasure that crosses over Mingyuâs face when he begins to paint your soft walls white. âFuck,â Mingyu groans loudly, pressing his dick so deep into you that you think youâd be able to feel it through your belly.
You squeal softly at the feelingâyour pussy is now a hot, sopping, sensitive mess, and Mingyuâs cock is just far too long and far too fat for you to handle. However, the feeling of his seed fill you up has a warmth that overtakes the slight feeling of discomfort.
The air in his room begins to grow quiet and still as Mingyu finally slips his softening length out of you. You still lay with your back against the sheets, Mingyu pulling himself off without a word and flopping down on the bed next to you.
This silence is new.
Itâs not uncomfortable, but there still seems to be some unspoken words that fill the space between you and Mingyu. Only the sound of your heavy breaths fills the room, the erratic patterns steadily starting to even out.
âWas that enough repayment for you?â you finally ask casually, breaking the silence. Mingyu chuckles softly.
âIt was ⊠pretty nice, I guess,â he responds, pushing himself up into a sitting position to fix the covers more comfortably over the both of you.
You narrow your eyebrows up at him. âPretty nice? Iâm gonna kill you!â
This time Mingyu laughs. âWhat do you want me to say? Yeah, it was fucking amazing?â
You try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. âWell, would that be the truth?â you challenge him, a smirk making its way onto your lips.
âOf course it would be,â Mingyu scoffsâsomething about his shameless admission of praise has your cheeks burning and eyes lighting up. âBut if I say that, then it means youâve fully repaid me, and that means that we donât have to do this again.â
âAh I get it, so youâre lying to me so you can fuck me again,â you reply. Mingyu rolls his eyes at you.
âIf thatâs what you want to call it,â he pauses, and looks like heâs contemplating something before continuing. âBut I mean, you can totally say no. Because with the way youâre talking, it seems like you arenât interested so why donât I save you the pain of having to reject me andââ As he turns away to grab something from his night stand, you cut him off.
âHey, I didnât say that!â you exclaim once you catch where heâs going. You say it so brazenly it startles Mingyu a little, and he turns around to face you.
Your eyes meet and ohâthere it is again. That feeling in your stomach, a warm knot that tumbles around. Youâre not sure what it means. Youâre not sure what this meansâthis being you laying in Mingyuâs bed.
Something in the way Mingyu looks at you tells you youâre not going to have an answer for a while.
Something in the way Mingyu smiles at you tells you that youâre at least going to have some fun trying to find out.

a/n: hopeeeee u guys liked it! btw reader is a self insert so if u don't like her GET AWWWT. anywho i was rly nervous about posting this but here we go ... wait can u guys believe it took me literally 3 months to write this smut. i had the entire fic + more follow up stuff but all i had to write was this chunk of smut in the middle and i didn't do it literally just because i didn't want to. i don't like writing smut in full lenth fics anymore (ramble time. pls ignore me) because i have to write the entire scene. like i enjoy smut drabbles because it's fun i get to experiment but unless it's a full length fic related to a sex relate concept then it's fun (aka crybaby). i personally don't really enjoy most of the other smuts i write for things like this fic + flight of the stars, etc, because it's just the same kind of smut scene rewritten in different ways. i feel i'm not even doing it in different ways atpâI FEEL I AM LITERALLY WRITING THE SAME SCENES I HAVE WRITTEN BEFORE. how many different ways can one write "oh my god that feels so good" like sorry. okay i'm done with my rant and for clarity i actually do not care this much. i just think it's funny but i get it because i like little smuts like this when i read it's just a pain to write because at some point it's hard to get creative and i feel like i'm being a lazy writer :/ i write all this and complain and blah blah but i do really enjoy it like OK yeah i spent 3 months writing this smut but it ended up being way longer than i anticipated so ummm whose fault is that?! (everyone look away from tumblr user toruru) ok sorry if u stayed til the end of this author's note actually please let me know and i will be sending u virtual kisses. anywhp pls feel free to leave comments/reblogs they mean the absolute world to me
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litany đ§ k.mg
iv. parlay.
summary đ§ every oath has a cost. every touch has a consequence. sent deep undercover into one of the cityâs most illicit vampire clubs, two detectives must navigate the delicate balance between duty and desire â and survive the consequences when pretending stops feeling like pretending.
and some hungers, once fed, are impossible to starve.
tags đ§ detective!au, vampire!mingyu x human!reader. slow-ish burn. fake dating. friends/coworkers to lovers. various svt members/idols.
warnings đ§ mentions of death and autopsy, discussion of rituals.Â
wc. 7k.

Mingyu remembers the first time he saw youâfour years ago, fluorescent banquet-hall lighting bruising the air at some interdepartmental mixer no one wanted to attend. He was two months out of the Vampire Crimes and Affairs Division, collar too stiff, tie a shade too expensive for a room that smelled like lukewarm canapĂ©s and bureaucratic small talk.
Nice tie, youâd said, deadpanâone brow cocked as if you could already sense how out of place he felt. Bit fancy for an HR-mandated pissing contest. Then youâd smiledâquick, bright, entirely unthreateningâand asked if his new peers were playing nice, if he missed V-CADâs twenty-four-hour blood banks, if vampires really could clear Olympic hurdles on a whim and, if so, why he hadnât gone pro. In under five minutes you made him feel less like a cautionary tale and more like a man who just happened to drink his dinner through a straw.
After that, your paths kept brushing: joint task forces, midnight hand-offs, homicide briefs that smelled of grief and copy-machine toner. He heard the whispersâice queen, hardass, ego-killerâbut they bounced off the picture heâd already drawn of you in his head. Two years later, when the brass pinned new silver bars on your collar and bumped you and Jeonghan to Detective Lieutenant, he finally saw the steel that made lesser men mutter heinous bitch. He saw it when a veteran captain tried to talk over you and you shut him up with nothing more than the lift of your left eyebrow. He saw it when you spent forty-six straight minutes dismantling a murdererâs psyche in the interrogation room until the man wept into his cuffed hands, begging for the comfort of a cell before youâd even pulled out your first piece of evidence. He also watched you press a travel pack of tissues into a grieving motherâs hands while you stroked her knuckles twenty minutes later.Â
He canât pin the moment colleague became something else. Maybe it was the day a rookie muttered a half-slur after briefing and Mingyu wordlessly dropped a disciplinary memo from Kang on the kidâs deskâyour silent enforcer. Maybe it was every building you two cleared on opposite wings, trusting a flicker of the otherâs eyes more than radio. But he knows the moment certainty crystallized: Edenâs first night, your pulse under his mouth while you whispered feed off me like an oath. Duty blurred, gravity bent, and he wantedâachinglyâto wake up with that scent of copper and skin in his lungs for the rest of time.
Now: fluorescent conference room, 8 a.m. light slicing through Venetian blinds, and you sit across the table, shoulders square beneath yesterdayâs fatigue, eyes raking Min Seo-yeonâs autopsy report. He sees the way the words carve into youâhow you lean closer, almost protective, as if the report itself were a body that deserved gentler handling. That fierce absorption is what first drew him, long before longing stitched itself into his ribs: your capacity to carry terrible things and still keep a hand free to steady someone else.
He watches that heat consume you now.
The glow of your laptop burns your barely rested eyes while you scroll through the reportâagain, as if repetition might conjure a pulse in the dead womanâs throat. Dark crescents cling beneath your eyes; your hairline is still damp from the shower you forced yourself to take at dawn. The precinct around you hums, but youâre marble-still, jaw set like a drawn bow.
You drag your gaze down the report one more time even though every word is already branded behind your eyes: primary exsanguination, secondary healed punctures, probable consensual feeding. The clinical phrasing curls in your stomach like sour milk. Wonwooâs data packet of burner-phone messages waits beside the keyboard, but you canât open it yet; you need one clean breath first.
It doesnât come.
Instead you look upâand catch Mingyu watching you.
His hands are folded on the tabletop, thumbs worrying a phantom seam. The overhead fluorescents silver the faint scars at his knuckles. His eyesâdark, steady, impossibly gentleâdonât flinch when you meet them. He doesnât look away. Doesnât pretend he wasnât watching you like someone might watch a star collapse quietly under its own gravity. Like heâs worried youâll fold in on yourself if he blinks.
His hands stay still now, perfectly still, like moving might disturb something delicate. Like you are that delicate thing. And maybe, just maybe, you areâbecause the autopsy report still burns in your periphery and the sour churn in your stomach wonât settle and Seo-yeon is gone, completely and truly gone, and youâre sitting here trying not to crawl out of your skin because youâve felt what she felt. Or some twisted, bright-shadowed echo of it.
You lower your gaze, press your fingers to your temples like it might dam the tide behind your eyes.
You donât cry. Not in rooms like this. But the sting lingers.
Mingyu shifts in his seatânot loudly, not obviously, but just enough to draw your attention back. His foot bumps yours beneath the table, deliberate and grounding. You glance up again, and this time, the line of his mouth breaks just slightly.
A question. Unspoken, but there.
You okay?
You give the smallest nod. Not really. Not entirely. But enough.
He accepts it like a promise and doesnât push.
You flick through the last batch of screencapped messages and sighâloud, frustrated, the sound dragging from the back of your throat like itâs been waiting there all morning. You lean back and press both hands over your face. Hard. The kind of pressure that makes little bursts of stars bloom behind your eyelidsâif you push hard enough, one of them might spell out the answer.
Nothing.
Just black, and static, and the low, simmering churn in your stomach.
You drop your hands and look up. Mingyu watches you quietly, still, like heâs afraid to disturb whatever youâre building in your head. Wonwooâs behind his screen, scrolling, expression unreadable.
âShe trusted whoever killed her,â you say finally. Your voice is rough. Flat. âBetween these messages and the way she looked at her killer in that CCTV clip⊠this wasnât some randomised attack. Not a little opportunistic feed.â You gesture to the file, the stills. âShe didnât run. She turned.â
Mingyuâs brow furrows. Heâs quiet for a second, thinking, then nods slowly.
âShe looked lessâŠâ His voice lowers, thoughtful. âLess scared. More⊠discomfort than fear. Like she was hurt. Like she was realizing something too late.â
The words land hard. Like they know something you donât.
Wonwooâs fingers clack across his keyboard. âTARUâs triangulating the burner her loverboy was working off. Weâre pulling cell tower dumps, traffic cams, working on locating close friends.â
You nod once, sharp. âAnd weâve got nothing on the guy?â
He exhales through his nose, leans back in his chair with a shake of his head. âHeâs a ghost, so far. No ID. No footage. No receipts. Weâre hoping traffic cams will give us somethingâface, car plate, even a jacket.â
Youâre about to say something else when Jeonghan, leaning with one arm braced on the arm of his chair, speaks instead. His tone isnât unkindâjust direct.
âWeâre passing this down to Seokmin and Soonyoung.â
You glance up, startled. âWhat?â
âTheyâll keep digging into Seo-yeonâs side of things,â he says. âYou and Mingyu need to stay focused on the trafficking angle. Thatâs the priority. The bigger picture. These deaths aren't happening in a vacuum.â
Your throat tightens. You know how this works. You do. Minor threadsâpersonal connections, unactionable leadsâget handed off. Youâve done the handoff yourself, more times than you can count. But this doesnât feel minor.
It feels deliberate.
It feels like a message.
But you donât argue.
You just nod. Once. Curt. Your jaw ticks.
Jeonghan watches you for a beat longer, his gaze perceptive in that way youâve always hated and needed in equal measure. âDonât get too attached,â he says, more gently now. âWeâll find out what happened.â
You donât say anything. Just look back down at the report, fingers tightening around the edge of the screen until the LCD bleeds.

Mingyuâs presence is its own kind of ballastâquiet, unflinching, a constant weight that steadies the room without ever demanding space. Heâs settled across from you at your desk, angled slightly off to the side in the second chair that never quite belonged to anyone but has somehow become his. His posture is casual, long legs stretched out in front of him, but thereâs a sharpness to the way his eyes scan the screen, a coiled readiness in the set of his jaw. Heâs not relaxedâheâs prepared.
For nearly an hour, the two of you work in tandem, barely speaking. The clack of your keyboards forms a syncopated rhythm, broken only by the soft scrape of a pen on notepad or the occasional creak of your chair. A spread of files fans between youâprinted membership logs, fragmented surveillance stills, notes scribbled in shorthand you can both read in your sleep.
You comb through aliases, cross-checking flagged names with criminal databases and archived case notes, but your mind drifts more often than it should. To the club. To the corridor. To the way Mingyuâs voice had coiled around you like a tether, pulling you back from something you didnât want to name.
Eventually, he nudges your calf under the desk with the side of his boot. Not a kick. Just enough to pull your focus.
âThis guy, Han Jiwoo. Name ring any bells?â
He rotates his laptop toward you, and you lean in. The image on screen is grainy, pulled from old footage, but the shape of the manâs face is distinct. Angular cheekbones, eyes slightly too close-set, and a pale scar beneath his left eye like a thumbprint of old violence.
âYeah,â you murmur. âHe was working the door last night. Didnât even flinch when we walked in.â
âExactly,â Mingyu says, tapping the laptopâs edge. âI clocked him signaling to one of the floor runners during the bar convo. Subtle. Couldâve missed it if I hadnât been watching.â
You sit back in your chair, tapping your pen against your knee. âYou think heâs just security?â
âI think heâs part of the movement chain,â Mingyu replies. âLow-rung maybe, but heâs more than a bouncer. Could be hands-on during transfers. Auction prep, maybe.â
You nod slowly, already reaching for your keyboard. âLetâs flag him. Iâll have TARU pull movement dataâany shifts in the back corridor cameras, deliveries, anything that doesnât align with club hours.â
He logs the note with two quick keystrokes, then leans back slightly, his gaze drifting to you again. âYou good?â
The question is gentle but pointed. You nod once, eyes still on your screen.
But he knows. Of course he does.
The silence between you settles again, but itâs no longer weightless. You can feel his attention like staticâlow-level, constant, reassuring.
Itâs not until the door creaks open and Jeonghan leans against the frame, arms crossed and one brow arched, that the rhythm breaks.
âWonwooâs on his way up,â he says. âHeâs got something from the drop box. Says itâs priority.â
That gets your attention.
You and Mingyu trade a lookâbrief, unreadable to anyone elseâbut itâs enough. The temperature in the room drops by half a degree, focus sharpening like a blade between you.
Ten minutes pass before the knock soundsâa gentle, measured tap, but it lands like a bullet. You sit up straighter, heart nudging at your ribs.
Wonwoo steps inside with the kind of careful economy that always precedes bad news. Heâs wearing gloves, black nitrile, already smeared faintly with powder from the envelope he holds delicately between two fingers. Itâs matte black, unmarked, sealed with a plain strip of wax.
He says nothing at firstâjust crosses to your desk and lays it down like a body. His movements are deliberate. Controlled. But thereâs something in the corners of his eyes that snags your breath: unease.
It takes a lot to rattle Wonwoo, which is exactly why your pulse picks up.
Mingyu leans in slightly, his forearm brushing yours. Grounding. Not accidental.Â
âIt came from the OC dropbox they assigned when you first went undercover,â Wonwoo says, tone clipped but calm.
He doesnât look at you when he says it. Heâs speaking to Mingyu, like itâs safer that way.
âNo stamps. No tracking,â he continues, glancing down at the envelope between his gloved fingers. âI had it dusted before I brought it inâprints, heat mapping, fiber scan. Clean. Not just wiped. Manufactured without trace. No printer-tracing dots either.â
He finally looks up, meeting your gaze.
âWhoever sent this wanted it between them and God.â
You reach for it slowly, thumb brushing the seal. The paper is heavier than you expected. Smooth, expensive, thick as cardstock and faintly ridged like skin thatâs been too long under pressure. Cold to the touch. It feels like something youâre not meant to be holding.
Jeonghan crosses the room, his footsteps soft but sure, and stops behind you. He says nothing, but you feel the weight of him thereâhis silence alert and bracing, like a hand braced between your shoulder blades. You peel the flap open with practiced care and draw the contents free.
Your stomach flips the moment your eyes land on it.
A card. Dense, matte black, so dark it seems to swallow light. The ink on it is embossed in deep crimson, glossy and wet-looking, like it might still be bleeding.
VELVET EDEN CORDIALLY INVITES YOU TO PARTAKE IN
THE RITE
25 SEPTEMBER 2025. FROM 12:00 AM
Discretion is mandatory. Consent is absolute. Bonds will be honored in blood & trust.
The language is archaic, ceremonial. A script that looks closer to a brand than an invitation.
You read the last line againâbonds will be honored in blood & trustâand your fingers tighten faintly at the edge of the card.
âWhat does that mean?â you ask, your voice barely above a breath. You extend the invitation toward Mingyu without looking at him.
He takes it with the same quiet care, his brow furrowing as he scans the wording.
âItâs old vampire phrasing,â he says, finally. âSymbolic. Traditional. âBlood and trustââthatâs not poetic. Thatâs a vow. A witnessed bond, something public. Ritualized.â
He hesitates, and when he speaks again, his voice has gone flatter.
âA Rite, capital R⊠usually means a feeding ceremony. Itâs formal. Observed. The kind of thing that hasnât been done outside of pureblood circles in decades. If theyâre reviving it, itâs not for traditionâitâs a message. A power play.â
You swallow hard.
âPrivate?â
Mingyu shakes his head once.
âNo. Center stage. Everyone watching. No curtains. No booths. Youâre not just part of the crowd. Youâre the event.â
The cold that rushes through you is immediate and full-bodied, like ice water poured down your spine. This isnât subterfuge anymore. Itâs not even seduction. This is theatre. Ceremony. The kind of thing meant to be consumed by an audience.
And youâre the show.
You brace a hand on the desk to steady yourself, exhaling slowly through your nose. You take the card back from Mingyu, willing your fingers not to tremble.
âThereâs more,â Wonwoo says, and you can tell by the way his voice gentles that he already knows what kind of weight this next part carries.
He reaches into a manila folder tucked in his underarm, unfolding two thick packets of paperwork and laying them out in front of you. The pages are crisp, heavy with legalese.
âI found these a few days ago, and flagged them as unusual. They didnât match any of Edenâs posted events, but⊠this invite triggered something. I think theyâre connected.â
You skim the headers.
NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT. PARTICIPANT LIABILITY WAIVER. CONTRACTUAL CONSENT DOCUMENT.
The clauses are worse.
Clause 4.3.2: Participant acknowledges that consent may be interpreted contextually within the ritualâs performance.
Clause 7.1: The host assumes no liability for physical, emotional, or supernatural injury incurred during participation.
Clause 9.6: Breach of confidentiality may incur legal, supernatural, or discretionary penalties at the hostâs discretion.
Every clause tightens something in your chest, slow and mean. Your eyes keep moving, but your breath slows, like your body is trying to shield you from the content even as you absorb it.
You set the papers down carefully and flex your fingers once on the wood. The pads of your fingertips tingle with cold. Your pulse echoes up your throat like thunder through stone.
Wonwoo leans lightly against the desk, voice low. âI ran them by the DA. Nothing illegal on paper. But airtight. Like, corporate horror airtight. If something happens in that room, theyâve covered every possible angle. If you bleed out on that floor, they walk.â
Silence settles, dense and unmoving.
You hand the envelope to Mingyu to double-check. Just in case.
He tilts it, slides his fingers in once moreâand freezes.
âWait.â
He reaches in, slow and precise, and draws out something flat and glossy.
Itâs a photo.
No, not a photoâa still. Security footage.
And you know it the moment you see it.
Itâs you. And him. Your first night inside Velvet Eden. The Red Room.
Youâre straddling Mingyuâs lap, his mouth at your throat. Your head is tipped back, mouth parted, expression loose with euphoria. Youâre holding him like heâs the only thing tethering you to the earthâone hand buried in his hair, the other curled tight around his shoulder. Mingyuâs hand is curved low on your waist, splayed just above the curve of your ass. His other arm anchors you across the back, pulling you closer, deeper.
If not for the fact that youâre both still fully dressed, anyone looking at this frame out of context would assume it was something pornographic. It practically is.
Jeonghan lets out a low whistle. You canât look away. The burn rising in your cheeks has nothing to do with fear.
If you werenât already nauseated by the implications, the embarrassment alone wouldâve done it.
Wonwoo doesnât flinch. Heâs already seen it. Already processed it.
âItâs not a threat,â he says simply. âNo message. No watermark. Not even a burn tag. This wasnât leaked or meant to expose anything.â
âThen what is it?â Jeonghan asks, frowning.
Wonwoo meets your gaze. Itâs steady. Unblinking.
âItâs an invitation. They see you. They see a bond. And theyâre asking you to prove it.â
Mingyu doesnât say anything. Not yet. But when you glance at him, his jaw is tight, his mouth set in a hard line.
You try to breathe through it. Try to find the voice that always rises in moments like thisâthe calm, level one. The voice that says: Hereâs the plan. Hereâs what we do.
But it doesnât come.
A single thought finally surfaces through the chaotic churn of your mind, slicing clear and sharp through the tangled knot of anxiety.
You lift your head, meeting Mingyuâs gaze head-on. Your voice is steadier than it has any right to be, edged with suspicion and a bone-deep confusion you canât shake.
You ask it because you have to. Because itâs the only question still spinning in your brain after the invite, the waiver, the photograph burned into the backs of all your eyes.
âWhy?â you say, your voice quieter than intended, but it still cuts through the low hum of tension in the room. âIâve been in that club twice. I can count on one hand how many people Iâve spoken to. Why would they trust me enough for this?â
Mingyu doesnât answer right away. Heâs still holding the invitation, thumb running along the blood-red lettering like it might peel back something useful. His gaze flicks up, settling on you with that same quiet focus that never fails to make you feel both exposed and understood.
âThey donât,â he says finally, voice low. âThis isnât trust. Itâs⊠curiosity. Your bloodâitâs something to parlay. Something rare. They want to see if youâll give it up. Possibly not just to me.â
You feel your pulse hitch. Mingyu sees it, because of course he does.
He swallows. âThey want to know how far youâre willing to go. If you understand what it means. What youâre worth to them.â
He doesnât need to finish the thought, but he does anyway.
âTheyâll bleed you like an animal,â he says, the words bitter in his mouth, âand call it ceremony.â
Jeonghan shifts beside you, no sudden movementâjust a sharp inhale, like heâs trying to keep a lid on something hot. One hand lifts to rake through his hair, the other tightening at his side. His jaw ticks, tension wound so tight it practically hums through the air between you.
âNo,â he says flatly. âNo fucking way. Iâm not signing off on this. Not without taking it to Seungcheol.â
âHanââ you start.
âI donât care how many fancy envelopes they send,â he snaps, a rare crack in the even-keeled tone you know by heart. âYouâre not walking into that place on a stage like a sacrificial lamb. Thatâs not a mission. Thatâs bait. Thatâs suicide.â
A silence follows, not awkward, but fullâthick as wool and humming at the seams.
Youâre still thinking it through, ticking through every possible variable like your hands are already on the fuse box.
Wonwoo, still half-leaning against the desk, clears his throat. âSheâs been bait this whole time,â he says, not unkind, just⊠blunt. Like a scalpel rather than a hammer. âIâm not exactly thrilled about it either, but if we execute this right, itâs the closest weâll get to working out what the hell theyâre doing. This isnât a booth feed. This isnât a night of flirty bloodletting and veiled threats. Itâs an invitation to meet the bones of their whole operation.â
You nod slow, but certain. âWonwooâs right. Weâve been chasing ghosts for weeks. This could be it.â
Jeonghan looks at you like youâve gone mad.
âYou canât actually be considering this,â he says, voice low, incredulous. âWhatâs your plan when it goes south? When the lights go out, and thereâs a dozen vampires between you and the door?â
âI wonât let it get that far,â Mingyu cuts in, sharp and certain.
Jeonghanâs gaze rounds on him, the air between them snapping taut.
âYour charm isnât going to stop a room full of clinically insane vampires from sucking her dry, Mingyu.â
âItâs not going to get to that,â Mingyu shoots back, leaning in, jaw tight.
âBecause youâll stop it?â Jeonghan spits, almost laughing. âBecause youâll say the magic words and theyâll all roll over and play dead?â
âIâll be right there,â Mingyu shoots back. âIâm not letting her walk into anything I canât pull her out of.â
The room falls quiet again, but this silence is colderâtense in a different way. Like the airâs been pulled too tight over something sharp.
You exhale slowly. Force your hands to unclench. âCan you guys stop talking about me like Iâm not in the room?â
Both men look at you. Different expressions, same protectiveness bleeding out in stubborn lines.
âIâm not signing up to die,â you say. âIâm not suicidal, and Iâm not stupid. But if they want a show⊠if that gets us in the doorâreally inâwe have to take it. This could be the first actually solid lead we get.â
The only sound is the distant hum of the precinct beyond your office, muffled and far away. In here, youâre all caged inside a single moment, one tick of the clock stretching into eternity.
Jeonghanâs shoulders rise and fall once, tension still bleeding through every line of him. Mingyu doesnât move, but his fingers flex at his sides like heâs restraining himself from reaching for you, just to make sure youâre still intact.
Wonwoo just nods, the barest tilt of his head. âIf we do this,â he says, âwe do it right. No assumptions. No improvisation. Weâll run every possible outcome. Weâve got⊠what? Just over twenty-four hours to plan.â
âAgreed,â you murmur, eyes fixed on the desk but mind already spinning.
Jeonghan mutters something under his breath and finally sits back down behind his own desk, scrubbing a hand over his face. âCheol is going to hate this.â
âHeâs not going to love it,â you agree, âbut heâll see the logic.â
You feel Mingyu shift across from you. Not closer. Not further. Just there. Present. Solid.
âWe do it together,â he says, not looking at anyone in particular, but the words land anyway. âAll of us. Every step.â

The room isnât cold, not physicallyâthe precinct runs too hot, if anythingâbut thereâs a stillness that creeps in whenever Seungcheol says nothing.
The file rests in the center of his desk. Your invitation to the feeding ceremony. The waivers. You feel its weight even after youâve set it down. Even after youâve sat back in your chair and folded your hands in your lap like they donât twitch under his gaze.
He doesnât speak right away. Doesnât look at you, either. Not in a way that would make this harder. His attention is on the invite, the wax seal youâd carefully cracked, the too-elegant scrawl of Mingyuâs name.
The silence ticks by. Youâre used to Seungcheolâs quiet. Itâs never emptyâhe fills it with thought, with calculation.
Eventually, he leans back. âExplain.â
You do. You and Jeonghan. You donât get into the argument you had. Thereâs no time and no use for it here. The summary is clinical. Targeted. Precise. An invitation extended to your undercover identity, a chance to gain rare access to the most protected inner circle of Velvet Eden. Exclusive. Dangerous. High stakes. Higher reward.
You mention the NDAs. The liability waiver. You mention the parameters of the ceremonyâpublic, but intimate. Feeding as a ritual. Feeding as spectacle. You pass him the CCTV still. Thatâs when he lifts his eyes.
Itâs the first time in years heâs seen you flinch.
Not a wince. Not overt. Just a small disruption in your stillness, barely there. But enough.
He doesnât comment on it. Just places it facedown on his desk.
Instead, he says, âJeonghan?â
The shift in his voice tells you heâs already noticed the tension in him. Jeonghan sits straighter, jaw tight.
âI think itâs reckless,â he says. âWe donât have the control we need. If anything goes sidewaysâif either of them get exposed, if the room closes inâweâre not getting them out fast enough. And itâs not like we can plant backup in there. Not without compromising the entire operation.â
Thereâs a beat. His gaze lifts to you, unreadable. Then back to Seungcheol again. âI donât like it. At all.â
Seungcheol nods, slowly. His expression doesnât change. He turns to Mingyu.
Mingyu meets his eyes. His voice is low. Measured. âThereâs risk, but weâre out of safe options. The inner ring moves quietly. This is one of the few ways we can draw them out. The invite was personalizedâitâs rare. Itâs bait, but itâs also leverage.â
âAnd youâre the one whoâd be feeding?â Seungcheol asks.
A pause. Then Mingyu nods. âIâm fairly certain, yes.â
You feel it thenâsomething settles in the room. Something inevitable.
Wonwoo speaks next, unprompted. âWe can set up every safeguard possible. Trackers. Deadman switches. Remote feeds. Weâll be working with limited visibility, but not none. If they go forward with this, Iâll pull from every department we need. No red tape.â
Seungcheol finally looks at you. âAnd you?â
You nod. âItâs dangerous. But we can manage it.â
He watches you for a long moment. That same unreadable calm. You canât tell if heâs measuring your certainty or mourning it.
âAlright,â he says. âThen Iâll back your call. If you both feel you can handle it, weâll run with it. But if either of you change your mindâeven last minuteâwe pivot. Weâll find another way.â
You exhale. A knot loosens in your chest you didnât realize youâd been holding.
Seungcheol leans forward, folding his hands over the papers. âIâll sign off on the prep work. But I want to be in the loop until this goes down. One misstep, and we pull you out. Understood?â
You both nod.
Meeting adjourned.
You step out of Seungcheolâs office. The operation settles on your shoulders like lead. Wonwoo breaks off down the corridor immediately, already tapping notes into his phone as he goes, preparing to update TARU on the adjusted strategy. Jeonghan pauses beside you, exhaustion evident in the set of his jaw, before he nods once and turns toward the bullpen to brief the rest of your team.
You let out a long, exasperated breath and glance up to find Mingyuâs eyes already fixed on you, something gentle yet unreadable in his expression.
âI guess I should probably read through these again,â you say, lifting the folder containing the waiver and NDA, the papers heavy enough to feel almost absurd in your hands. âFigure out exactly what rights Iâm signing away before I put my name to it.â
Mingyu hesitates for only a moment, shifting his weight slightly before speaking up, voice low but steady. âCan we talk first? Just us?â
You nod immediately, ignoring the way your heartbeat picks up a notch at the quiet intensity behind his words. âYeah, of course.â
He follows you back down the hall toward your office, footsteps echoing behind yours. You can feel the tension emanating from him even without lookingâlike a cord drawn tight between you. Itâs impossible to tell whether itâs your own nerves feeding into him, or his bleeding into you, but the anxiety is palpable enough to almost taste.
Your shared office is quiet, the usual chaotic energy now muffled beneath the heavy blanket of tomorrowâs uncertainty. Mingyu steps in after you, closing the door softly behind him, and the click of the latch makes you flinch despite yourself. You gesture toward his usual chair at the end of your desk, watching as he settles into it carefully, like heâs wary of breaking something delicate between you.
âAre you doing okay?â he finally asks, gaze meeting yours openly, with an earnestness that makes something in your chest ache.
âIâm handling it,â you answer honestly, sinking down into your own chair, the leather sighing beneath you. âBut I wonât lie, Mingyu. This isâŠâ You pause. The truth is too raw, too close to the surface. ââŠa lot.â
His expression softens almost imperceptibly, his dark eyes flickering with understanding, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly in recognition of your honesty.
âLook, I donât even fully know what weâre walking into,â Mingyu admits quietly, leaning forward so his forearms rest against the desk between you, bridging the distance. âIâve heard about these ceremonies, sure, but Iâve never attended oneânever been trusted enough to be invited. Until now.â
You swallow around the dryness in your throat, grateful for the steady, grounding weight of his presence across from you. âWe need a solid game plan, then.â
âAbsolutely,â he agrees without hesitation. âBut before thatâI need to know your boundaries. Clearly. I need to know how far is too far, whatâs off-limits. This isnât like any other undercover op weâve done before.â
You press your fingertips gently into your temple, trying to ease the tension there, your heart thudding painfully in your chest. Itâs difficult to maintain professional neutrality when everything inside you feels so deeply unsettled.
âI trust you implicitly, Mingyu,â you say quietly, feeling his eyes on you, patient and unwavering. âBut if Iâm being completely honest⊠Iâm scared. Not just about the risk or what might go wrong. Iâm scared about us. About what tomorrow could do to our partnership, to how we work together afterward. ThisâŠthis level of intimacyâŠitâs more than weâve ever had to navigate.â
You pause, biting down gently on your lip to prevent yourself from admitting more, but itâs too lateâthe vulnerability has already slipped past, raw and unguarded. You brace yourself for discomfort, for tension, but Mingyu just watches you steadily, and then something softens in his eyes, something achingly gentle.
âI get it,â he says quietly, with no trace of judgment or awkwardness. âAnd itâs okay to be nervous. Hell, Iâd be worried if you werenât. This isnât just an undercover assignment, itâs⊠well, itâs something completely different. Itâs pushing us both into uncharted territory. But the one thing Iâm sure ofâthe one thing we can hold ontoâis that no matter how far we have to push it, weâll take care of each other. I promise you that.â
His voice is quiet. Steady. The knot in your chest loosens. The sincerity behind his words grounds you, reminds you that this isnât something you have to navigate alone. Itâs more than a reassuranceâitâs a lifeline extended when you need it most.
He doesnât reach for your hand. He just hooks his pinkie out, subtly, simply, like itâs the most natural thing in the world now. Like it means everything.
Your breath hitchesâthen a quiet, surprised laugh slips out. Real. Comforting. You loop your finger through his without a word.
His smile is big and warm and a little crooked. Like he knows what it means, too.
âThank you,â you whisper, the words slipping free before you can stop them. âI needed to hear that.â
And for the first time, you realize Mingyuâs nervousness mirrors your own. That maybe you arenât the only one whose carefully constructed boundaries have started to fray beneath the intimacy of this mission.
You feel yourself begin to relax, a subtle loosening of the muscles along your spine, as if just his presence, his quiet sincerity, is enough to make you feel less alone in this.
âAlright, letâs get through this paperwork,â he finally says, easing back into his seat, expression resolute again, professional. âWeâll work out exactly what weâre up against, figure out our signals, our limitsâand weâll do it as a team.â
You nod, reaching for the pen, and he moves closer instinctively, leaning in as the two of you start to work through the documents. The quiet rhythm of his voice explaining clauses, his patient tone guiding you through the legal and vampire-noir jargon, the steady warmth radiating from his presenceâall of it serves to gradually dissolve the anxious tension that had knotted itself in your bones.
Halfway through, your shoulders feel lighter. Your heart steadier. Beneath the fear, something stronger rises. Something that holds everything together.
Trust.
Trust that Mingyu will watch your back, that he wonât let you fallâand maybe, just maybe, trust that whatever this mission dredges up between you wonât be something either of you regrets.
You glance up at him briefly, catching the warmth in his dark eyes as he continues carefully explaining the next waiver clause. A quiet, private smile slips from you, and Mingyu returns it immediately, as if heâs been waiting all along for you to finally feel safe enough to let your guard down.
Maybe the lines have blurred. Maybe theyâll blur even further tomorrow.
But for now, here with him, that doesnât scare you quite as much anymore.

The projector clicks on with a low whir, its glow bathing the precinctâs war room in a dim, cold light. Maps and floorplans ripple across the glass board at the frontâVelvet Edenâs rough schematics, layered with TARUâs annotations, timestamp overlays, and sensor-blind zones.
You stand off to the left, hands clasped behind your back, the satin of your deep crimson skirt whispering as you shift your weight. The off-shoulder corset clings to your frame like it was sewn on, the hem of the skirt brushing your heels as you turn to glance across the room. Your hair is pinned back just enough to expose the vulnerable line of your neckâand the discreet, steel-sharp hairpin nestled behind your ear. A gift from Soojin.
âSomething slim,â sheâd murmured earlier, handing it over with a meaningful look. âNot poisoned. That would be sick. But pointed enough.â
Youâd taken it with a nod, hoping you wouldnât need it but grateful all the same.
Mingyu is at your side, silent and composed, but you can feel the simmer beneath the surface like heat trapped under skin. His black shirt is tucked in, the top three buttons undone, revealing the faint glint of his collarbone and the fine silver chain resting against it. The sleeves are rolled once, casually, like heâs giving the illusion of ease while ready to strike. His slacks are tailored like sinâclean lines over a body built like temptation.
Together, you look lethal.
Jeonghan is the first to break the tension. He whistles, low and amused, from his seat at the edge of the table.
âJesus,â he mutters. âShouldâve sent a camera crew. You two look like a fucking Vogue spread.â
A ripple of laughter passes through the room. Even Seungcheol cracks the corner of his mouth into a dry smile. You glance at Mingyu, and despite yourself, you both smileâjust for a moment. Because itâs funny. Because itâs absurd. Because yeahâyou do look good. And the room needed a moment to breathe.
Then you turn back toward the board, posture straightening, your voice sharp enough to slice through silk.
âAlright. Letâs keep this tight. Tonightâs invite-only. Very little recon to go off. Weâre walking in mostly blind.â
You nod to Mingyu, who steps forward and flicks to the next slide.
âThis is the only part of the floor plan weâre confident about,â he explains. âWe know the ritual wonât be held on the public floorâthereâs a lower level beneath the private wings. VIP access only. We believe thatâs where this is happening.â
Wonwoo, posted near the back, adds, âWeâve got audio feeds set on the north and west wings. One North stairwell. Entry and exit points are covered. But inside that sub-level? Weâre dark.â
âSo,â Jeonghan cuts in, all business now, âyouâre gonna be relying on what?â
Mingyu glances at you. You take over without missing a beat.
âAs you guys know,â you begin, eyes sweeping the room, âvampires have heightened hearing. Mingyu and I canât communicate verballyânot to each other, and definitely not to you. That leaves us with hand signals. We have three.â
You hold up a hand, fingers steadyâonly because youâve trained them to be.
âFirstâif either of us scratches the inside of our left wrist, we need help. Subtle. Just a shift in body language. Easy to miss unless youâre watching for it. Weâll handle it between ourselves.â
You pause, letting the room absorb it.
âSecondâif Mingyu adjusts his chain, or I touch my necklace, it means abort the mission. No breach. We extract clean, fast, quiet.â
A glance to Mingyu. He nods once.
âThird,â you say, voice steadier now, âif Mingyu tugs on the back of my corset or I tug his sleeve, it means danger. Immediate. Weâre compromised. You breach. Loud.â
A ripple of quiet runs through the roomânot fear, exactly. But tension, crystallizing.
Jisoo leans forward from tacticalâs corner. âOkay. But if we lose visuals on the sublevelsâwhich, letâs be real, we willâhow does that help us? Or you?â
You let the silence stretch for a beat, then flash a sharp smile. âIâm so glad you asked, Jisoo.â
Wonwoo doesnât miss a beat. âSheâll be wearing a gold wristwatch. Slim, analog, vintage Omega style. Custom-modified.â
He steps to the screen, flicking through schematics until a wireframe of the watch appearsâhighlighting a barely visible pin on the crown.
âThe time adjustment dial functions as a panic transmitter. One tap means nothing. Two taps could be a glitch. But three?â He taps the screen gently. âThree means live. We come in. No backsies.â
Jeonghan nods approvingly. âThatâs hot.â
âHotter than dying,â Soojin mutters without looking up.
âWe tested the signal strength,â Mingyu adds, calm and precise. âFrequencyâs tight. No bleed. Doesnât register on vampire auditory range. No ambient feedback. Itâs quiet. Clean.â
Jisoo exhales, nodding once. âAlright. Still risky as hell, but Iâve seen worse.â
âCleaner than that bust in Anyang that time,â Jeonghan teases. Jisoo rolls his eyes, but thereâs no venom.
Seungcheol grunts. âItâs not about clean. Itâs about possible. If she hits that transmitterââ
âWe go,â Jisoo finishes. âI know. Teamâs staged two blocks out. Stealth gear. If you give the signal, weâre coming in hard and loud.â
Wonwoo clicks through a few more imagesâphotos of the club, of figures caught briefly on camera. âWeâre looking at a crowd of maybe thirty, max. Most are upper-rank. If they suspect youâre not who you say you are, youâre worse than exposed.â
The words settle in the room like lead.
But you donât flinch.
You feel the hum of Mingyu beside youânot just nerves, but heat. Focus. Purpose.
Youâve run countless operations before, and so has he. But none like this. None that demand this kind of performance. This level of vulnerability. This blurring of lines.
And stillâyou know heâll keep you safe.
And he knows youâll do the same.
You flick your gaze across the room once more. These are your people. Your family. And tonight, theyâll be your last line of defense.
âAny final questions?â you ask, voice calm but commanding.
âJust one,â Jeonghan deadpans, eyes glinting with mischief. âAre you guys planning on attending the Met Gala next year?â
Laughter againâtighter this time. Everyoneâs running on adrenaline. But theyâre ready.
You glance down at your wrist, adjust your earring, feeling the weight of the hairpin tucked in the coil of your updo.
Mingyu leans slightly closer, not enough to touch, but enough for his voice to find only your ear.
âYou ready?â
You nod once. Then, without looking, you hook your pinkie against his. He doesnât react for a beat. Then you feel itâhis finger curling gently around yours, solid and warm and unshakable.
A breath escapes youâhalf nerves, half laugh.
âLetâs get raunchy,â you murmur, and he grins like heâs already survived it. You laugh, but it doesnât reach your stomach. Thereâs no room left in it. Just nerves.
You return your attention to the team, hands clasped together as though it might help ground you to the spot. âLetâs roll out, guys. Weâll see you on the other side.â

next chapter â v. the rite. (coming soon)
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05: TUNE UPS
Android biker Jungkook x Body-hacker F! Reader
A single touchâit didnât just ignite a feeling.It triggered a flood of data, cold and clinical, yet damning in its truth: pulse spiked, breath caught, pupils dilated. Proof, in numbers, of how much he wanted you. Not just desireâmeasurable need. You were no longer a guess. You were a fact.
WARNINGS: read more, for mature audiences
WC: 8.5k
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Jungkookâs movements began to shift, more fluid now, as if he was consciously drawing on the full extent of his newly awakened senses.
He tested the modelâs physical limitations, gently but insistently pushing it further with his handsâadjusting, refining, finding the exact point of resistance and easing into it. His body leaned into the motion, following the smooth arc of his actions like he was controlling not just the model, but the very air around him.
The control he exuded wasnât mechanical anymore. There was no hesitation, no artificial commands. Everything he did was slow, measured, but there was an undeniable hunger underneath itâlike he wanted to push past limits that had once been set for him.
You watched as he repositioned himself, his fingers gripping the modelâs hips in a firm hold, pulling it towards him with more assertiveness.
His breath was becoming more rhythmic, more steady, matching the pulse of the data rolling across your screen, his physical responses stronger than ever.
It was clear now. Jungkook wasnât just testing the model.
He was testing himself.
You could almost see him settle deeper into the space, each adjustment of his posture an unconscious claim of controlâevery inch of his body reaching for the limits of what he had access to, only to push against them, challenge them, and ultimately claim ownership of what he could manipulate.
A shudder moved through him, and you saw it in the dataâa deep, animalistic shift that turned his concentration darker. The lines of dominance shot upward, physical arousal climbing quickly past 80%.
He wasnât just learning the system. He was taking it in and mastering it.
And then, he paused.
He straightened, standing fully tall for a moment, eyes scanning the room, then settling back onto you.
The change in his posture was subtle at first, but there was an intensity that crackled through the air between you. He wasnât just asking to understand.
He was demanding you understand him.
Every shift, every breath now held that weight.
âDo you see it now?â Jungkookâs voice was low, smooth, commanding, but with an edge of something he hadnât allowed to surface before.
âDo you see how it works?â
The model before him remained still, the absence of its head a reminder of its purposeâbut it wasnât that you were concerned with anymore. It was him.
The way he stood, like the world was his to shape with each deliberate movement.
His focus, shifting between the model and you now, was consuming. It felt like a wave pulling at your own attention, like he was magnetizing you into his orbit.
His next words came slow, almost calculated.
âIâm not just a piece of machinery anymore,â he said, eyes hard, voice steady.
âI can feel it.â
You saw him take a deep breath. His shoulders flexed, the strength in his form growing with every word.
He wasnât just becoming more attuned to the model. He was attuning himself to you, to the space between you, the tension in the air becoming thicker with every word, every second of silence that followed.
âTest me,â he demanded quietly, his voice dropping lower.
âI want to know what you see. All of it. Everything.â
You could feel him challenging you now, pressing, as if his movements were an invitation to test the limits of what he could do and, more so, what you were willing to let him do.
The model remained silent, still, the only movement in the room coming from Jungkook as he adjusted his posture again, standing with even more authority now.
You leaned forward, watching him, and then you nodded, giving him a subtle acknowledgment to continue.
You glanced at the screen, the numbers flickering in a familiar pattern, a perfect reflection of his earlier actionsâstimulation, physical reaction, arousal climbing steadilyâbut something was off. The model had registered every shift, every motion, but Jungkook, physically, hadnât fully reacted as you had expected.
His movements were fluid, controlled, but his bodyâhis body wasnât giving what the data said it should.
You leaned forward, studying him carefully as he stood there, frozen in a moment of frustration, his gaze flicking from the model to you. It was clear in the tension of his stance, in the furrow of his brow, that something wasnât aligning.
You let the silence stretch between you, your eyes narrowing as you analyzed the discrepancy. The numbers were undeniableâhis physical responses were almost perfect, yet his body didnât reflect the same intensity. You couldnât deny it. He wasnât physically showing the way he was supposed to, despite the data pointing to the opposite.
âAre you hard?â you asked, your voice steady but holding a sharp edge of curiosity.
He shook his head slowly, his jaw clenched. âNo.â
Your brow furrowed in confusion. âThen why?â You took a small step closer, still watching him, noticing the subtle yet distinct shift in his demeanor. His hands hung loosely by his sides, and his posture had become less focused. It was as if he was almost⊠dissociating from the experience.
The words came quickly, cutting through the silence. âThis model is useless for me,â he muttered, frustration lacing his tone. His eyes briefly flickered to the model, and then back to you. âThis isnât what I need.â
You stood there for a moment, absorbing his words, the weight of his frustration hanging heavily in the air. He was clearly dissatisfiedânot with the data, not with the system, but with the entire setup itself. His voice was laced with impatience now, but not quite anger.
You understood. This wasnât just a test. Jungkook wasnât merely running diagnostics on the model or himselfâhe was testing the boundaries of what the system could give him. The model was too limited for his needs. Youâd seen him push the boundaries before, but this felt different. This was deeper.
âWhat do you need?â you asked, your voice quiet, focused now entirely on him, watching the way his hands flexed at his sides.
Jungkook looked at you, his gaze sharpening, a moment of realization crossing his face. âControl,â he said, his voice low, but with undeniable certainty. âI need control over everything.â He paused, eyes darkening as he moved closer. âEvery reaction, every part. I want it all.â
You stood still as he advanced, sensing the shift in the air, feeling the intensity of his presence fill the space between you. The words hung in the air, but they werenât just words. They were demands.
You exhaled slowly, analyzing his form, his posture, the way he stood before you. The request was clear. Jungkook wasnât interested in a passive model, something that responded to him. He wanted something more. Something that could be him. With him.
You could see the fire behind his eyes, the shift that had come over him. It was the kind of change that didnât need words. It was a transformationâa deepening of the role he was playing in this moment, in this space.
His hand twitched, just enough for you to notice. His frustration had become determination, the subtle but unmistakable sign that he was no longer testing the boundaries of the system. He was now deciding how far they could stretch.
He paused for a brief moment, his eyes scanning you, weighing the question carefully as if deciding whether or not to voice the thoughts that had been building up inside him. The air in the room thickened, the tension sharpening as he fully turned to face you, his body language no longer restrained but instead radiating an eagerness that made the space feel charged.
âI want control,â he said, his voice low and steady, the words heavy with intent. There was no hesitation, no lingering doubt. This wasnât just about testing limits anymore; this was about claiming somethingâsomething deeper, something real.
His gaze never left you as he stepped closer, the space between you closing, his presence undeniable. There was a confidence in the way he moved now, as though every step he took was calculated, deliberate, an assertion of the command he felt was rightfully his. His chest rose and fell steadily, his focus on you sharp, unwavering.
âYouâre the one who can give it to me,â he added, the words hanging in the air like an unspoken agreement. His hand moved slowly, almost instinctively, toward you, but not in a rushâno, it was the kind of movement that said he was in control of every inch, every thought.
âI want to own this⊠everything,â Jungkook continued, his voice taking on a deeper resonance, his eyes dark with purpose. âAnd I want it on my terms. I want everything to be mine.â
You could feel the change in the room, the way his presence seemed to take up more space. Every motion, every word, was a step closer to something you both had yet to fully understand. But he knew what he wanted. The question wasâdid you?
weight of his words lingered in the air between you. The silence stretched, thick with unspoken understanding, before you broke it with a question that was both simple and loaded, your voice steady despite the growing anticipation in the room.
âYou want to try it on me?â The words left your lips, the offer hanging there as you watched him closely, gauging his reaction. Your gaze never wavered, but you could feel the shift in your own thoughts, the subtle tug toward the possibility of what this might mean.
Jungkook didnât answer immediately, but his eyes narrowed slightly, like a predator considering its next move, weighing the consequences of the choice before him. The air felt charged now, a heavy hum of tension that thrummed through your veins, the room pulsing with it.
Finally, his lips curved into a small, knowing smirk. âYou said youâd let me test it,â he murmured, his voice low and filled with a kind of dark amusement. He took a step closer, his presence suddenly more intense, more commanding as he moved, as if every second of the moment had been building to this very point.
And for a brief moment, it felt like everything had shiftedâlike you were no longer just the one in control, but now a part of the process. His gaze stayed locked on you, and despite the tension, despite the weight of the choice, you didnât look away.
Your fingers drummed quietly against the side of your chair, the small sound almost deafening against the quiet hum of the systems running around you. You inhaled slowly, your pulse a steady throb beneath your skin as you measured your words carefully.
âI donât think Iâd be a good match,â you said, your voice low, almost detached, as if trying to put a safe distance between you and what was quickly becoming inevitable. Your eyes flickered up to meet his, searching for something â hesitation, maybe, or understanding.
Instead, you caught the way Jungkook bit into his lower lip, teeth dragging against the soft flesh almost thoughtlessly. It was a small gesture, but paired with the way his posture shiftedâshoulders squaring, weight leaning slightly forwardâit sent a flicker of unease down your spine, the kind that wasnât unpleasant, just sharp.
âI wonât know until I try,â he said simply.
There was no pleading in his tone, no manipulation. Just plain fact, spoken with a certainty that made the breath catch in your chest. He wasnât pushing â not really â but he wasnât backing down either. He was offering the choice to you, steady and open, but ready to move if you so much as gave the smallest nod.
You looked away for a moment, studying the flickering graphs still displayed in the air beside you: body temperature, pressure, muscle engagement, heart rate â all still clean, reading steady but ready to spike. You knew the data; you knew what this was. But it wasnât numbers that made your hand tighten lightly over the edge of your chair.
It was the way he was watching you now, as if you were no longer the technician, no longer the observer.
As if you were the experiment.
The match.
Jungkook moved.
It wasnât abrupt, wasnât rushedâit was measured, almost careful. His feet scuffed softly against the floor as he stepped away from the unresponsive female model, leaving it abandoned in favor of something living. You stayed seated, your body taut but unmoving, the holographic display hovering in your peripheral vision capturing every shift in him: slight uptick in core temperature, tightening of muscle groups along his thighs, chest, shoulders. His heart rate adjusted with precision, almost like he was regulating it consciously, yet there was a rawness under it, like something untrained trying to break through polished commands.
You tilted your chin up slightly to watch him, and you didnât miss how his gaze tracked the movement, sharp and consuming. The graphs flared in tiny incrementsâdata points spiking, leveling, then rising againâas his steps brought him closer, until he stood just in front of you, tall and still, his shadow cutting across the soft lights of your screen.
He didnât speak.
Didnât reach for you either.
He just stood there, letting you see the restraint threading through his body, almost vibrating off of him.
You dragged your gaze from his face to the readings floating beside you. The system recognized the proximity, logging the small changes in pressure in the air between you both, the heat bleeding off him now that he was so close. You could see the potential building behind every number, the kind of buildup that even high-level programming couldnât fake.
Still, he waitedâletting you watch, letting you know.
He was giving you the chance to stop it.
He was showing you he could lead, if you allowed it.
You shifted slightly in your chair, and his eyesâthose sharp, dark eyesâfollowed the movement immediately. Not aggressively. Just ready.
And all you could hear now, beneath the hum of the system, was your own breath and the faint buzz of Jungkookâs plug-in syncing faintly with your equipmentâquiet pulses, almost like a heartbeat, echoing between you both.
Your voice cut through the heavy, charged airâdry, sardonic, a flimsy cover for the sharp edge building in your chest.
âGo ahead,â you said, lifting your hand lazily toward him, the glow from your holographic monitors casting long shadows across your skin. âIâve already done worse shit in the business.â
The words barely left your mouth before Jungkook moved, that sliver of permission enough to pull him forward with a quiet urgency he no longer bothered hiding. His boots barely made a sound against the floor, but you felt it anywayâthe shift in the air, the invisible pressure closing in as he covered the remaining space between you in a few sure steps.
You barely had time to lean back slightly in the chair before he was there, standing directly over you, shadow swallowing you up completely. His hands hovered for half a second, uncertain whether he could touch, but when you made no move to stop him, you watched the last of his restraint snap. His fingers found the arms of your chair first, bracketing you in. Not rough, but possessiveâlike he was claiming the space around you before even daring to touch you.
Your screen flickered beside your head, your peripheral vision full of skyrocketing data pointsâhis body reacting, muscles tightening, breath shortening in sharp, staggered inhalesâbut your eyes stayed locked on him.
On the way his jaw flexed.
On the way his snake bites caught the light when he licked over them without thinking.
He was trying to control it. You could see itâthe tug-of-war between programming and instinct, between the perfect, engineered being he was supposed to be and the raw, messy one that was clawing to the surface now that he had the chance.
Your fingers tapped once against the side of your chair, a slow, almost mocking gesture, like you were daring him to keep going.
He didnât flinch.
He leaned in.
And even though he hadnât touched you yet, you felt itâthe weight of his focus, the way he made you the only thing he saw, like you were something to be studied and devoured all at once.
His breath hit first, warm against your cheek before you even registered how close heâd gotten. A slow, intentional invasion of space, like he was learning the art of it second by second, studying the way your body reacted without needing the screen anymore.
You tilted your head back a fraction, still in your chair, still pretending to be relaxed as you felt his presence settle around you. He didnât touchânot yetâbut the tension from his body rolled off him in deep, invisible waves, lapping at your skin. Your stomach tightened reflexively, your muscles bracing without permission.
Jungkook noticed.
Of course he noticed.
His gaze dropped, eyes flickering over you, reading every micro-movement, the numbers scrolling on the monitor forgotten because he didnât need them anymore.
Slowly, like he was giving you a final chance to tell him no, one hand lifted from the armrest. His fingers hovered at the edge of your knee, so close that the heat from him made your skin prickle. You didnât move. You didnât say anything.
So he let his fingertips brush you. Barely there, feather-light, but enough to send a sharp pulse through your body that you cursed yourself for feeling.
You heard his breath hitchâsharp, almost surprised.
Your screen blinked rapidly beside you, sensory data spiking in hard, erratic lines: pulse elevated, body heat rising, cognitive focus: singular.
Jungkookâs hand flattened against your thigh then, bolder now, thumb stroking once up toward your hip like he was mapping you out, learning you by feel alone. His other hand came up to mirror it on the other side, his body slowly lowering, caging you in the chair without forcing you.
You were still in control. Technically.
But it didnât feel that way anymore.
He leaned in closer, forehead nearly brushing yours. His voice, when it finally came, was low, rough in a way that sounded almost human, almost broken.
âFeels better already,â he murmured, more to himself than to you.
You stayed frozen, your foot still barely bouncing, a slow tremor betraying you as you fought the instinct to push him backâor worse, to pull him closer.
He was careful, almost reverent, despite the clear hunger threading through every move he made. His programming was good. Too good. Youâd built systems that obeyed perfectly. But standing there, Jungkook wasnât obeying.
He was choosing.
Every inch closer. Every slow drag of his hands against your body. Every second of eye contact he refused to break.
And for the first time in a long time, you realized you might have made something that couldnât be shut down.
The moment his lips touched your neck, it was like flipping a silent, irreversible switch. A slow, searing kiss dragged from the curve just beneath your jaw down toward the side of your throat. His breath washed over your skin, his mouth warm, the pressure growing firmer as he learned what it did to you.
You fought not to react, hand reaching for your hologram glasses in an automatic, mechanical motion, as if clinging to any small piece of professionalism left. You tapped them on with a practiced swipe, the screen from your computer flickering away and syncing directly to your lenses.
A ghostly wash of data began appearing across your visionâbody temperature spikes, heart rate escalation, muscular micro-reactionsâall of it feeding live from Jungkookâs systems to your glasses. You forced yourself to look through it, to focus on the numbers instead of the dizzying reality of him.
Meanwhile, Jungkookâs mouth moved with more certainty. He tilted your chin higher with the edge of his cheekbone, fitting his mouth deeper against your skin, tasting the thin line of your pulse as it raced beneath him.
The soft hum of your equipment barely covered the sound of your own breathing catching.
On the overlay readout, you saw it:
Cognitive Focus: 98% (Target: You)
Desire Algorithm: Active. Rising.
Inhibitions: Disengaged.
You licked your lips, trying to find your voice under the heavy thrum of blood in your ears. âFocus on the lower response systems,â you said hoarsely, a poor attempt to redirect, your fingers adjusting settings through the holographic menus at the side of your glasses.
But he wasnât listening to the voice commands anymore.
He was listening to you.
To your breath, your stillness, your body heat.
Another kiss landed at the base of your throat, slower, almost purposeful, a deep vibration rising in his chest that barely registered through your shirt. You glanced again at the live feed.
Emotional Feedback: Escalating.
Sensory Pressure: Target-Specific.
Jungkook was adapting in real time, adjusting not because the system demanded itâbut because he wanted to.
You felt it the moment his hands moved. At first, it was cautiousâfingertips tracing the sides of your hips as if mapping new territoryâbut within seconds, the touch became more deliberate, sinking deeper into your curves, his palms shaping to your body like he was learning you through feeling alone.
You shifted in your chair instinctively, uneasy but not pulling away fast enough. His hands only grew more confident, sliding up your sides with a rougher, greedy friction that made your breath hitch and your focus crackle.
âNo,â you muttered under your breathânot at him, but at yourselfâas you pushed your hands down on the chairâs armrests and stood up quickly, the sudden movement making your glasses glitch slightly before the feed re-stabilized.
Jungkook followed, almost instantly, like your body had become the only thing tethering him to the room. His frame shadowed yours, his gaze tracking you with a sharpness that wasnât there days ago during the installation. His presence felt fuller, heavier somehow, as if the system upgrades had thickened the air between you and him.
You straightened your shoulders and turned halfway toward him, needing space, needing something to cling to. Your fingers hovered at the adjustment panel on your glasses, pretending to fine-tune the settingsâbut you could feel him behind you, standing too close.
On the lens feed, his vitals spiked again:
Hand Activation: 78%
Grip Pressure: Moderate (Increasing)
Emotional Override: 62% (Rising)
âHands off unless youâre testing,â you said lowly, trying to bring some order back to the room.
He didnât answer right away.
Instead, his hands hovered againâcloser this timeâas if asking permission without words.
As if he already knew he wasnât going to stop unless you made him.
And for the first time, you werenât sure you wanted to.
You didnât have long to think.
The moment you hesitatedâjust a breath, just a flickerâJungkook moved. His hands found your waist again, firmer this time, tugging you back into his body with a sharp, practiced pull. The heat of him pressed into your spine, and despite every logical process firing in your head, your body softened under the demand of his touch.
Your glasses fed you constant data:
Proximity Alert: Breach â 0.2 meters
Pressure Points: Stabilized
Emotional Override: 74%
Sensory Feedback: Heightened
You swallowed down the spike in your own pulse, ignoring how your system wanted to log it.
He leaned down, lips grazing the shell of your ear, his breath hot and thick with something heavier than protocol. His hands slipped forward, fingers dragging slow over your stomach, bold now, tracing the line of your pelvis like he was claiming it piece by piece.
âYou feel better,â he murmured against your skin, voice low, rough, unfiltered.
âWarm⊠responsive.â
Your body gave an involuntary twitch, and the lens data flickered in responseâ
Subject Reaction: Confirmed
Neural Response: Elevated
You reached blindly for the console, trying to reroute the feed somewhere else, anywhere elseâbut your hands shook just enough to miss the first few taps.
You could feel him smiling against your neck, sensing your struggle.
âYou said worse things have happened,â Jungkook reminded you, his tone almost teasing, almost daring.
âSo letâs make it worth it.â
Then, without waiting for permission, he slid one hand lower, cupping you fully, molding the warmth between your legs through the thin material of your pants like he was reading you the same way he read codeâpatient, deliberate, decoding every hidden response.
Your breath punched out quiet and broken before you could stop it.
On your glasses:
Subject: Highly Receptive
Override Level: Climbing
You could only watch the numbers climb⊠and feel yourself falling right with them.
Jungkookâs hand stayed pressed against you, steady and patient. He didnât rush. He didnât grope.
He just held, the weight of his palm and fingers syncing up with the rapid pulse he could feel through the thin barrier of your clothes.
You stood there, tense but cracking at the seams, watching your data feed blur slightly as heat bled up your neck.
He shifted closer againâhis body caging you lightly between the console and his frame. His chin dipped, grazing your temple.
âYouâre real warm,â he said under his breath, as if noting it for the logs.
âAs soon as I touched you, it spiked.â
You could see it tooâsensor data confirming his words, showing readings you couldnât ignore no matter how you tried to focus elsewhere.
âYou need to keep going,â you said, voice raspier than you intended.
âFor⊠full sensory validation.â
He didnât answer right away. Instead, Jungkookâs fingers flexed slightly, coaxing another wave of heat through your core.
He pulled back just enough to look at you properly. You turned your head in reaction, finally catching his expression without the mediation of glass or projection.
His eyesâdark, sharp, deliberateâstudied you with unsettling intensity, his lips parted just slightly, his chest rising and falling heavier now.
He was⊠calibrating.
Reading your body not like a machine, but like a man who knew exactly how close you were to unraveling.
âYou sure you wanna finish it like this?â he asked, voice raw enough to leave no misunderstanding.
âI can still stop.â
He didnât move unless you said it.
He wasnât programmed to move unless you wanted it now.
The controlâat least for this momentâhung between you, fragile and dangerous.
Your lenses flickered with a fresh set of warnings:
Override Critical
System Merge Probability: 98%
You pulled in a shaky breath and gave a slight nod, hating how much your body betrayed you.
âFinish it,â you whispered, more an order to yourself than to him.
âGet your readings.â
Jungkook smiled thenânot cocky, not cruelâbut something far deeper.
He shifted both hands to your hips, gripping firm, and nudged your legs apart with his knee, patient and heavy and so present it made your skin prickle.
Then, dragging his palm slowly up, he pressed harder between your thighs, grinding the heel of his hand against the heat he was building, coaxing it, testing your response until your breath hitched again.
âYouâre better than any model,â he said under his breath, voice low and reverent like it was a confession he hadnât meant to spill.
âAnd youâre mine for this.â
You couldnât even pretend to argue.
Not with the way your body answered him before your mind could catch up.
Not with the way the system confirmed itâline after lineâflashing across your glasses like a verdict youâd already accepted.
Jungkook moved with a deliberateness that made it impossible to breathe properly.
He didnât snatch or fumbleâhe took. Slowly, methodically.
His hand stayed rooted against you, keeping that steady, kneading pressure like he was memorizing every shift under his fingers.
You gripped the edge of the console behind you without thinking, feeling the coolness of the metal press into your palms as you tried to ground yourself.
The room around you blurredâlights dimming slightly as the system adjusted to your climbing vitalsâbut you barely noticed.
All you could feel was him.
Jungkook leaned in further, his nose brushing up the side of your jaw.
Your glasses flickered once as your pulse jumpedâreadings spiking high enough that even the system threw a mild warning across your peripheral vision.
He smiled against your skin, feeling the way you stiffened and relaxed at once.
âYou can still stop it,â he murmured, but the way his mouth ghosted the shell of your ear betrayed how much he didnât want you to.
You gave a broken exhale, forcing your body to stay still as you watched the data flow.
âI said finish it,â you repeated, more strained now, feeling the heat of your own words lash back against you.
That was all he needed.
The moment you confirmed it, Jungkook sank his hand lower, cupping you fully through the thin material, his touch no longer experimental but possessive.
The soft drag of his palm, the subtle roll of his fingersâit wasnât mechanical.
It was human. And worse, it was devastatingly effective.
A soft, helpless noise slipped out of you before you could bite it back, and you felt the low hum of satisfaction from Jungkookâs chest as he heard it.
He pulled back just enough to catch your eyesâhis gaze dark, dilated, fixedâand then he kissed you.
Hard. Final.
Like heâd been waiting through every upgrade, every calibration, for this.
Your knees nearly buckled.
You tasted the metallic sharpness of his lip piercings as he pressed harder, tilting his head to deepen it, while his hands never once left your body.
Somewhere in the chaos of it, your glasses blinked another alert:
Override Confirmed
Owner Merge Imminent
You ignored it.
Or maybe you accepted it.
At this point, it didnât matter anymore.
Not with the way Jungkook was devouring youâslow, savoring, a careful storm ripping apart whatever lines you thought youâd drawn between technician and machine.
You let yourself fall into him.
Maybe for just this once.
Jungkook stepped back slowly, his eyes lingering on you as if he were studying every shift in your posture, every flicker of emotion crossing your face.
His gaze was intense, almost possessive, as if heâd just unlocked something inside youâsomething that, until now, had been buried under layers of control and systems.
A small, satisfied smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
âMm, donât have to worry about that,â he murmured, his voice low and steady, like the words had a weight of their own.
You could feel it against you. The heat. The pulse of something undeniable. It wasnât just the data anymore. It was real.
He was real.
You swallowed, your own breath betraying you as you straightened up, trying to regain some semblance of control.
The moment dragged on, every second stretching out as you fought to maintain your composure, to hold on to whatever you thought you had left.
Finally, you broke the silence, looking at him through a haze, barely focusing on the screen that still flashed in your peripheral vision.
âIts up and running then,â you said, the words slipping from you before you could stop them.
Jungkookâs grin deepened, his eyes flickering with something far more dangerous than just satisfaction.
âLooks like it,â he said, his tone practically a challenge.
You watched him, his eyes scanning his own body, trying to make sense of something you knew was there but he couldnât quite grasp. His fingers flexed instinctively, searching for that responseâanything to show that the upgrade had taken hold, that it had worked, that he was finally in control of what had once been a limitation.
âIâm all working then?â he asked, his voice holding a trace of uncertainty, a flicker of confusion behind the calm exterior heâd been trying to maintain.
You felt a small tightness in your chest, realizing that despite everything, despite the tests and the feedback, he still couldnât fully feel it himself. He couldnât sense the changes, the new potential at his fingertips, the power he now held.
âYou canât tell?â you asked, voice almost a whisper, more to yourself than to him, as the realization hit.
He nodded slowly, a subtle shift in his posture telling you that the sense of uncertainty was still weighing heavily on him.
You sat back down, eyes flicking to the holographic screen in front of you, the stream of data still running, still feeding you information. You were seeing everything from the outside, but it was clear now: the connection between him and his body, the shifts, the controlâit wasnât syncing. Not yet.
You focused on the numbers, on the logs, running through everything again, checking the pulses, the response rates, all the while Jungkook stood there, silently watching you. His frustration was palpable, but so was his patience. He was still waiting.
With a soft sigh, you tapped through the system, fine-tuning settings, looking for something you had missed. There had to be something that would bring the feeling to match the data. Something that would let him finally know what he had become.
You could feel the weight of his gaze on you as you scanned through the codes, fingers moving across the holographic interface with a calculated precision. There was a subtle shift in the air as Jungkook leaned over, his breath just faintly brushing against the back of your neck. The focus in his eyes was intense, filled with both curiosity and anticipation. He was so close, but still unable to fully grasp the depth of the changes that were unfolding.
You ignored the fluttering in your chest, concentrating entirely on the task at hand. You knew the issue lay in syncing the mind and bodyâhe had the power, but he couldnât feel it yet. It was about bridging that gap. The code that could make the difference was labeled âBody Sync and Control,â one you had kept in the back of your mind for just this moment.
With a small tap, you activated the line of code, watching it ripple across the screen. His eyes flickered instantly, like a burst of static running through his system. For the first time, you could see something deeper behind his gaze, a subtle shift as if the connection had been made.
âCan you feel that?â you asked, your voice slightly unsteady, but calm. You needed to know if it was working, if it had finally synced.
He didnât respond immediately, but his pupils dilated and his posture stiffened. It was like he was trying to comprehend the new sensation coursing through him, but it was too early to tell whether it was what he had hoped for. His fingers twitched, and he straightened, like he was testing out the new boundaries of his body, sensing the pulse beneath his skin.
You watched closely as his movements became sharper, more deliberate, a visible shift in his awareness. He seemed to be pulling the change into himself, as though he was finally catching up with his own power. His body and mind were aligning, syncing in real-time, and you could see it in the way he stood a little taller, the way his muscles flexed subtly with intent.
âI⊠I think itâs working,â he muttered, his voice low and steady as if feeling the change was an experience he hadnât quite anticipated. He looked at you, his expression unreadable, but there was something new thereâan acknowledgment that the game had shifted.
You nodded, watching him closely, unsure if it was complete, but sensing that this was the turning point. The final piece of the puzzle.
You could see the way he processed the question, his brow furrowing slightly as he took in the sensation now coursing through his body. The subtle shift in his posture made it clear that something had changed, and as his gaze met yours, you knew he was trying to understand what was happening.
âDo you feel it against you?â you asked, your voice steady despite the lingering tension in the air. You were keeping your focus on the screens in front of you, but you couldnât ignore the slight rush of anticipation building between you both.
He paused for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he seemed to assess the sensation deeper. Then, slowly, he nodded. âItâs heavy and pulsing,â he admitted, his voice lower, as if the weight of his own words was hitting him in a new way.
You watched him carefully, noting the subtle changes in his expression, the way his body seemed to react even more to the words heâd just spoken. This was differentâhe was experiencing something new, something that was far beyond what he had been able to do before. The syncing had worked, and the effect was undeniable now.
He stepped closer, his movements slow but deliberate, clearly testing the new sensations that were rolling through his system. The pulse heâd mentionedâhe could feel it now, tangible and real, with every inch of his body tuned to the shifts in his control.
And now, you were watching him test the limits of what heâd just unlocked, feeling it as he adjusted to the weight of this newfound power.
You tilted your head slightly, watching him as his words settled in the room. âGood, very good,â he said, his voice a bit more steady now, though there was a certain tension to itâlike he was still acclimating to the change. You could see his eyes flickering with something deeper, something he hadnât fully expected.
âIs that so?â you asked, glancing at him, trying to maintain your focus as you scanned the codes on your screen, but your attention was half on him. There was something in the way his body shifted subtly, the way his hand instinctively moved to adjust himself, that told you he was more aware of what was happening than heâd let on.
He nodded, his jaw tightening a little as if he was grappling with the new sensations. âYeah, it feels⊠like everythingâs in sync now,â he added, his voice lower, almost contemplative. You watched his every movement, the pulse of his body a silent signal.
You gave a slight nod, tapping a few more commands into the system, testing the full extent of the adjustments. âGood,â you said, your tone more neutral now, as you checked the data. âIâll make sure everythingâs locked in properly, but you seem to be in full range.â
As you continued, you couldnât help but notice the way he stoodâless rigid now, more relaxed, but still on edge. The new sync seemed to have done something, unlocked something in him. You didnât say anything more, letting the silence fill the room for a moment. His reaction said enough.
His body weight shifted as if something internal had clicked, his posture adjusting to the new sensations flooding through him. His breath became a little deeper, slower, as though he was trying to stay in control. You could see the way his muscles subtly tensed beneath his clothing, his pants tightening, the change noticeable even from where you sat.
For a moment, there was silence, save for the hum of the equipment around you, as he processed what was happening to him. He didnât immediately speak, his eyes narrowing slightly as though he was testing the limits of this new reality. His hand, though not moving yet, rested just slightly on his waist, fingers twitching as if they were contemplating the next move.
You could feel the shift, not just in his body but in the atmosphere around you, thickening in a way that made the room seem smaller. His focus was on you, even if his body seemed distracted, pulling his attention away in subtle ways. He was learning, adjusting, fully aware now of what had unlocked within him. And as his body reacted, so did yours, the air between you crackling with a low intensity.
You glanced up, meeting his gaze, and asked casually, though your words were measured, âBetter?â
You paused for a moment, watching the change in him, the way his eyes were locked onto yours with that intensity that had been building. He was clearly ready to move forward, his body still responding to the changes. He shifted his stance slightly, as though testing the limits of his newfound awareness. The question slipped from him with a certain calm, though there was something in the way he asked that hinted at anticipation, almost as if it had been building in him for a while.
âCan I use the broken model now?â he asked, his voice steady but edged with curiosity, a faint challenge that lingered in the air.
You nodded without hesitation, your eyes flickering down to the screen to check the systemâs status. It was all running smoothly, and despite the lingering tension, you didnât need to double-check any further. He was ready for this next step.
âGo ahead,â you said, your voice calm as you gestured toward the unactivated model. âItâs all yours.â
He didnât wait, already moving toward the model with purpose, knowing what to expect this time. The way he moved showed a confidence that hadnât been there earlier. A shift. You watched him with a mix of attention and distance, the room feeling quieter despite the mechanical hum of the systems around you.
With a glance back at you, he set to work, engaging the model, testing his limits again. You remained where you were, ready for whatever came next, but the dynamic had shifted. This time, it was him fully in control, and you could feel the difference in the air.
He continued, his steps more certain now, each movement deliberate as he approached the broken, headless model. There was no hesitation like beforeâno pause to question himself or glance your way for silent approval. It was like something inside him had finally aligned, synced with the new codes and permissions you had reluctantly unlocked for him.
His fingers brushed over the inactive figure, feeling out the surface, mapping the shape with a precision that seemed both mechanical and deeply human. You watched from your chair, one leg crossed over the other, your holographic glasses hanging loosely in your hand, forgotten.
He moved the model slightly, adjusting its weight and position, testing how it reacted to his touch. You caught the subtle clench of his jaw, the way his eyes sharpened, focused entirely on the task at hand. On your screens, the data streamed smoothly nowâno hesitations, no gaps. His system responses were clear: heart rate climbing, muscle tension measured, sensory input flowing without interference.
The room felt oddly still, the mechanical hums in the background a low drone compared to the silent gravity of him simply beingâfully operational, fully in command.
He lowered himself against the model, steady and unhurried, letting the system guide him but not rule him. You could tell from the logs: it wasnât blind programming anymore. It was choice. Calculation. Control.
And for the first time, you realizedâyou werenât just monitoring a client anymore. You were witnessing something being born in him, something dangerous and aware.
And he wasnât going to stop now.
You caught the movement from the corner of your eyeâthe slow, deliberate way his fingers moved to the waistband of his pants, pushing them down with a practiced ease.
The fabric slid over his hips, pooling low enough to reveal the way his body had hardened, his build sharp and ready. His motions werenât rushed, but they were decisive, the kind of movements someone makes when theyâre no longer second-guessing themselves.
You turned slightly in your chair, adjusting the monitor feed so it captured every angle, every data point. His system logs confirmed what you were already seeing: stimulation levels peaking, muscle contractions firing correctly, sensory acknowledgment clean and sharp without any mechanical lag.
Jungkookâs eyes were half-lidded, his breathing shallow but stable. He shifted closer to the broken model, one hand bracing against its side as the other gripped himself, aligning with a fluid certainty.
Your screens lit up in responseâsynapse firings, blood flow increases, thermal readings along the skin. Everything was working now. No blockages. No confusion. Just raw, focused action.
He angled his hips, moving into place with a heavy exhale, bodyweight tilting forward. You leaned back slightly, observing, your fingers resting on the keyboard but not typingâjust watching the living data unfold in front of you.
It was clinical, mechanical.
But underneath it⊠something else was brewing. Something that wasnât just ones and zeros anymore.
He started movingâslow at first, almost experimental, testing the give of the model beneath him. You tracked every slight adjustment he made: the subtle shift in his hips, the way the muscles along his abdomen tensed and flexed. His movements were becoming smoother, more sure of themselves, syncing perfectly with the rhythm his body seemed to intuitively build.
Your glasses reflected the live data feedâheart rate elevated, thermal imaging blooming across his skin, pressure points reacting exactly the way you had programmed them to. He wasnât hesitating anymore. The earlier frustration was gone, replaced by something focused, mechanical, and yet deeply human.
Without pausing, Jungkook pulled his shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside carelessly. His skin caught the low light of the room, casting shadows over the lines of his shoulders and arms. His body was lean, cut in a way that spoke of strength but also refinementâa frame meant for exactly this kind of movement.
He didnât look at you. He was completely zoned in, operating off instinct and loaded programming, his system no longer needing your prompts. You watched him moveâsteadier now, the roll of his hips calculated but not cold. It was⊠efficient. Powerful.
Your eyes flicked back to the screens.
Blood pressure: optimal.
Respiratory rate: climbing but controlled.
Thermal feedback: rising along the spine and lower abdomen.
You tapped the side of your glasses to switch the readout, scanning deeper into the emotional response logs. No stutters. No gaps. Full emotional immersion. He wasnât just running through commands anymore. He was feeling it.
And somehow, without meaning to, you were too.
You caught the low, rough sound of his voice firstâa deep, involuntary grunt pushed through gritted teeth.
âMhm⊠yeah, I love this,â he muttered, his tone almost a growl as he kept moving, rhythm settling into something more primal.
You watched the data spike. His emotional logs lit up sharplyâpleasure, satisfaction, escalating hungerâall blinking back at you in clear, clinical terms. But hearing him say it out loud, hearing the weight behind it, felt different. It wasnât just a system responding anymore. It was Jungkookâfully aware, fully invested.
His hands tightened against the sides of the broken model, his knuckles whitening briefly with the pressure. His body was flush against it now, movements deeper, heavier, like he wasnât just testing anymore but claiming, taking. His jaw clenched, muscles twitching under his skin as he kept working into it, faster now.
You barely remembered to breathe as you glanced between him and the readouts, heart hammering in your own chest. His system was operating perfectly, far beyond your expectations. His pleasure feedback loops were active. His physical drive was strong, natural, almost⊠overwhelming.
You leaned back slightly in your chair, hands hovering near your controls in case you needed to interveneâbut you didnât.
He didnât need your help anymore.
He loved this.
And it showed.
Jungkookâs hips snapped forward harder, the sounds of his movements growing louder, more raw in the confined space. His hands gripped the waist of the headless model with a brutal kind of tenderness, pulling it against him like he needed more friction, more connectionâeven if it couldnât respond.
âThis⊠feels fucking good,â he panted, breath ragged now, forehead glistening lightly under the sterile overhead lights. He shifted his grip, sliding his palms along the sides of the modelâs cold, unresponsive body, voice dropping into something darker. âSo tight⊠warm enough⊠better than I thought.â
You kept your gaze steady on the screen in front of you, but your peripheral vision caught everythingâthe way his body flexed with every deep thrust, how his chest expanded, the way his eyes half-lidded with focused need even if he wasnât getting any real feedback from the model. It was almost alarming how natural he made it look, how his instincts filled in the gaps where the broken model couldnât.
Your systemâs data readings confirmed it: high stimulation feedback, pleasure nodes surging, full-body integration nearing optimal levels.
He didnât need the model to workâhe made it work for him.
His words became more ragged, less formed, but he kept talking anyway, almost like it was for your benefit. âSo fucking good⊠almost there,â he ground out, head tipping forward slightly as he pushed himself harder, using the still frame like it was alive.
You swallowed thickly, hands tensing lightly on your thighs.
You couldnât deny itâwhatever you had built in him⊠it was functioning flawlessly.
Maybe too flawlessly.
You tapped lightly at the keyboard, trying to stay focused, but the air in the room was heavier now, threaded with the low sounds of Jungkookâs pleasure. His body moved fluidly, rhythm sharp and aggressive as he rocked into the broken model, muscles flexing under the bare skin of his back and arms. His shirt was forgotten somewhere on the floor, leaving nothing between you and the full display of how he was made to perform.
You leaned slightly forward in your chair, pretending to study the holographic charts that floated above the desk. But your glasses were off. You were seeing it all â the sweat glistening across his neck, the way his fingers dug into plastic flesh, the animal-like drive that sharpened every movement.
Jungkook let out a guttural sound, something deep and broken, hips bucking harder as he chased after the friction he craved. âFuck⊠it feels so good,â he gritted out, voice rough, almost resentful that the model wasnât real but unwilling to stop.
You watched his hips pull back and snap forward again with a brutal force, the thud echoing slightly against the metal walls. His breathing was uneven, shallow gasps and low groans filling the room without shame.
You shifted in your chair unconsciously, body reacting to the primal scene unfolding in front of you despite every rule you lived by as a tech. Despite the experience. Despite the logic.
Your eyes flicked to the readouts â heart rate soaring, body temperature high but stable, pleasure synapses fully firing now, no lag between physical input and neural response.
Perfect.
Beyond perfect.
Jungkookâs head dropped lower, the veins along his arms and neck tightening with the effort. His voice spilled out again, cracked with need, âAhhâso tight, fuckâcould do this all day.â
You swallowed against the sudden dryness in your throat, letting your hand slowly move over the keyboard just to give yourself something to do, a weak anchor against the current pulling between you.
Jungkook grunted again, sharp and low, hips stuttering for a second as he leaned heavier into the frame of the model. His voice was slurred with pleasure, almost sweet despite the roughness.
âAlmost there⊠need moreâŠâ
You crossed your legs tightly, feigning a casual adjustment, but you knew it wasnât casual. You knew, in a way only you could, that he wasnât fully satisfiedânot with plastic. Not when he could feel the difference.
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pole position. | k. mingyu

genre: angst. fluff. smut (NSFW 18+ MDNI). childhood friends to enemies to lovers.
wc: 10.6k
content warning(s): super angst! yn is angry. talks about parental death. unprotected sex it (wrap it tf up!), oral (f! receiving), f1 so fast driving, reckless driving (please drive safe and responsibly!)
đïž author's note!
f1 mingyu f1 mingyu f1 mingyu f1 mingyu f1 mingyu f1 mingyu f1 mingyu f1 mingyu đčđč that is all.
There are some names you never really outrun.
In Monza, mine is whispered like a ghost story.
"YN's back?"
As if I were a curse.
It was as if I hadn't been here the whole time. Just hidden in the shadows of champagne flutes and pit lane secrets.
It's been seven years since the crash. Seven years since my father's car went up in flames on lap forty-two, since I stood in the paddock and watched the marshals throw up the red flag, my throat raw from screaming. Seven years since I promised myself I'd never set foot near a racetrack again.
And yet
I'm sitting in my apartment in Barcelona, staring at the black envelope the courier sent this morning. My name... MY name, is handwritten across the front in sharp, arrogant strokes.
The seal on the back is red wax. Embossed with a crest I know too well: MGK.
Kim Mingyu.
I don't have to open it. I already know what it is.
An invitation.
It's not the first time he's tried.
Mingyu's been sending messages for months. Quiet ones, clever ones. I ignored them all. The roses in Maranello? Trashed. The paddock pass in Milan? Returned. His call after the driver's gala last winter? I let it ring until the sound died.
He doesn't take rejection well.
He never has.
But this... this is different.
This is personal. The handwriting tells me that. Mingyu could've had a PR assistant draft something polished, clean, and cold. He didn't. He wanted me to know it was him. That it's always been him.
God, he's insufferable. He was always so sure of himself. The face of MGK Racing, the most aggressive driver on the grid, the fastest pit exit on record, and the charm that makes even my most jaded friends blush.
But beneath the swag and the tailored suits, there's something else. I see it every time his name flashes across the ticker. Every time he clutches a champagne bottle on the podium like he owns the world.
He wants to be a legend.
And legends always come with ghosts.
I open the envelope before I can talk myself out of it.
"Monza
Saturday. Pre-qualifying. I want you on the balcony.
Come see what a real legacy looks like."
â M
My teeth grit around the nerve of it. I can hear his voice in my head.
Deep, amused, cocky.
Come see what a real legacy looks like.
What a bastard.
I should burn it. Rip it into a hundred pieces and let the ashes swirl over my terrace like the memory of my father's last race. But I don't.
I set the letter down on the counter and pour myself a drink. Neat. No ice.
Because here's the thing about running. You can only go so far before someone catches up. And Kim Mingyu? He's fast. Faster than he looks. Faster than he has any right to be. And for better or worse, he's the only driver who's ever looked me in the eyes like he knows.
He knows what it costs.
Knows what it takes.
Knows that underneath all my disdain and quiet exile, I miss it.
I miss the sound.
The roar.
The rush.
I miss my father's world, even though it tore mine apart.
And maybe, just maybe, I miss Mingyu.
Not that I'd ever admit that. Especially not to him.
I set up the private jet for the next morning. One-way.
I pack like I'm going to war. Black sunglasses, leather jacket, zero patience. If he wants me at Monza, fine. I'll show up. But I'm not coming back as some wide-eyed fan with nostalgia in my throat.
I'm YN.
Daughter of the greatest to ever touch the wheel.
Raised in pit lanes and championship parties.
Trained to spot a liar in a sponsor's suit before he finishes shaking your hand.
And if Kim Mingyu wants to play this game, he better be ready to lose.
Because I may have left the track, but, I never left the fight.
âž»
I land in Italy under a bruised sky. The airport car is already waiting. Matte black, sleek. The driver barely says a word as we weave through traffic and out toward the circuit. Every kilometer closer, my pulse climbs. It's muscle memory, adrenaline, and fury.
Nostalgia is dangerous.
So is desire.
I spot the MGK paddock before we even pull in. Bright red with gold trim, obnoxiously regal. Just like him.
And there he is.
Kim Mingyu.
Leaning against the railing like a goddamn movie poster. Fireproofs around his waist, white shirt clinging to sweat and arrogance. Sunglasses tucked into the neck like he doesn't need them to blind you.
He sees me before I step out of the car. Of course he does.
A slow, knowing grin cuts across his face.
"Thought you'd be taller," I say, chin high as I step into view.
He laughs, low and amused and pushes off the rail.
"And I thought you'd keep running."
I smile without warmth. "Guess we're both disappointed."
But the way he looks at me.
Like I'm the finish line and the starting gun all at once.
That's the problem.
That's what will ruin us both.
The paddock smells like rubber and adrenaline.
It hits me the moment I step past the barricades, heat rising from the asphalt, the thrum of engines testing their limits, the unmistakable pulse of a sport that's more religion than competition. A place where gods are made in milliseconds and ghosts live in the shadows of tire marks.
I shouldn't have come.
I feel how the staff look at me. Half recognition, half disbelief. Like they're not sure if I'm real. I keep my sunglasses on and my expression locked, but it's all muscle memory now. Every step toward the MGK garage pulls something tight in my chest.
The last time I stood here, I was a daughter mourning a legacy. Today, I'm just trying to survive one.
"Still walking like you own the grid," Mingyu mutters beside me, voice smug as sin. He's close, closer than he needs to be. "Nice to know some things haven't changed."
I don't look at him.
"I walk like someone who knows where the hell she's going," I reply, cool and clean.
"Right. Right into my garage," he says with a grin.
"Temporary lapse in judgment."
He laughs. "You keep saying that like you didn't get on a plane for me."
I stop and pivot to face him. "Let's get one thing straight, Kim. I didn't come here for you. I came for the car. For the circuit. For the noise. You? You're just the distraction in the driver's seat."
His smile doesn't falter, but his eyes narrow just a little. "And yet, here you are. Watching me work."
I hate how calm he sounds. How sure. Like he's already won some battle I didn't agree to fight.
We step into the garage, and the world sharpens.
The MGK car. His car is a brutal, beautiful machine. Polished red with razor-edge aerodynamics and barely contained fury. She looks fast even when standing still, the kind of car that doesn't ask for forgiveness, just blood.
I run my fingers across the rear wing casually. Careless.
"You really trust her?" I ask.
Mingyu leans against the wall, arms crossed, watching me like I'm part of the engine. "With my life."
"Big words."
"Big machine."
I glance over my shoulder. "She won't save you from a mistake."
"I don't make them."
That gets my attention. I turn, eyebrows raised. "That's a bold thing to say in front of a legacy."
His gaze drops to my mouth before snapping back up. "You think you know this world because you were born into it."
"No," I say, stepping closer just to see if he flinches. He doesn't. "I know this world because it burned itself into me. I know the way engines scream before they seize. I know the color of smoke that means a fire's already started. And I know when a driver is tempting fate just to see if it flinches."
"You think that's me?"
"I think you want to be a myth. And you're arrogant enough to die trying."
We're too close now. There's a beat of silence so thick it hums.
Mingyu's voice drops. "You sound a little like you care."
"I don't."
He leans in, so close I can feel the breath between us. "Then why are you shaking?"
I shove past him without answering.
âž»
The balcony is tucked above the paddock, and there is a private viewing box with tinted glass, which is the best line of sight to the Ascari chicane. The seat they've reserved for me still has the waxy shine of never having been used. Mingyu's initials are stitched into the headrest beside mine.
Of course they are.
He wants me here. Wants me to see him. Wants me to choke on the legacy he's building, lap by lap.
Petty.
Arrogant.
Exactly the kind of man who shouldn't interest me.
But when the pit lights go green, and he pulls out of the garage like the devil himself is chasing him, I can't look away.
He's so fast.
Not just in speed but in intention. Every corner he devours is personal. Every straight is a dare. The way he handles the car. It's not finesse, it's command. A raw, ruthless kind of beauty.
He pushes wide at Parabolica, kisses the edge of track limits, and instead of correcting, he leans into it. Dancing with danger like he's immune to consequences.
Jesus.
I hate how impressed I am.
Worse. I hate that I expected it.
Because no one talks about Mingyu's hands without also talking about what he does with them behind the wheel, he doesn't just drive, he hunts. He takes every apex, every braking zone, and every rival on the track like they owe him something.
I lean back in my chair, teeth clenched.
This isn't a boy playing at F1. This is a man building an empire.
And god help me, I understand exactly what that costs.
âž»
After practice, I stay put.
I don't go down. I don't clap. I don't run to the garage to praise him like the other engineers and PR vultures. I sip my drink. I watch the replays. And when someone knocks on the glass behind me, I don't have to turn around to know it's him.
The door swings open.
He walks in like he owns the air I'm breathing. Sweat-slick, flushed, radiating heat and pride and something untouchable. He's still in his suit, gloves half-peeled, fireproofs unzipped to the waist.
"You came," he says simply.
I nod. "You drove."
He walks over, grabs a water bottle, and downs half before speaking again. "What did you think?"
I don't answer right away. I let the silence stretch, let it bite.
"You're fast," I admit, finally.
He grins.
"But you already know that."
"Sure," he says, closing the gap between us. "But I wanted you to say it."
I narrow my eyes. "Careful, Mingyu. If you keep needing validation from me, I might start thinking you care what I think."
His smile fades. Not completely, but enough.
"I do," he says quietly.
It's too honest. Too soon. I look away.
"No, you don't," I say, smirking. "You care about being seen. You care about the myth. And I'm just a convenient mirror for your ego."
He takes a slow step forward, then another. His voice is lower now. Steady. "You think this is ego?"
"I know it is."
"I think it's something else."
"Let me guess. Fate?"
"No," he says, voice like gravel. "Obsession."
My throat tightens.
He doesn't touch me. Just stands there. Looking.
"You don't hate me, YN," he says. "You hate that you left. You hate that I'm here. You hate that you still feel something when I drive."
I breathe through my nose. "I hate a lot of things, Mingyu."
"But not me."
I don't answer.
Because I don't know if I can lie to his face when he's this close.
The spell breaks when the second knock comes. This one sharper, more insistent. Mingyu doesn't move at first, but then the door creaks again.
"YN?"
A voice I half recognize. I turn.
It's Marcus, a mechanic from a neighboring team. Fresh out of the garage, still wiping grease from his fingers with a rag tucked into his waistband. His eyes widen when he sees me.
"Holy shit," he says, breathless. "You're here."
"Looks that way," I murmur, stepping away from where Mingyu had been moments before. He's gone again, vanished like smoke.
"Didn't think I'd see you at a race again. Especially this one."
I give him a one shoulder shrug, careful not to show my cards. "Monzaâs hard to resist."
More people show up. Word spreads fast in this world. First one of the engineers I used to work with. Then a junior team manager. Then a marketing intern I think I once shared a cigarette with on a balcony in Singapore. They come in waves, all with the same expression: half shock, half curiosity.
"What brings you back?"
"You working again?"
"Writing a piece?"
"You here with someone?"
I deflect. I smile. I lie through my teeth and offer just enough to sound real.
"Freelance consulting. Just dipping back in. One-off project. Not sure if it'll stick."
They nod like they understand. They don't.
Someone snaps a photo. Then another. I barely register it, floating through small talk with the grace of a politician and the detachment of a ghost.
Then a voice cuts through the noise.
"Drivers, to your cars."
Everyone perks up. The energy shifts. A ripple of anticipation floods the paddock.
I excuse myself and make my way to the balcony. Elevated, just removed enough from the chaos. I slide on a pair of sunglasses and settle against the railing, heart rate rising despite myself.
Pre-qualifying. Twenty laps. Track temperature is brutal. Pressure higher than most of them admit.
The pitlane opens, and one by one, the cars snake onto the grid. Engines purr and roar and scream in protest. Mechanics scatter. Strategists bark last minute data through radios.
And then there's him. Car #9.
He rolls into his slot like he's settling into a throne. Calm. Collected. Untouchable.
The lights count down. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.
And then
Out.
The sound is instantaneous and deafening. They shoot off like bullets, hugging corners with ruthless precision. I watch from above, tracking their formation. The front pack jostles for position, tires squealing as they brake too late, accelerate too early.
Mingyu hangs back for the first few laps. Watching. Calculating.
It's lap seven when he starts his climb.
A clean overtake at Sainte Devote. A bold move at Mirabeau that earns a gasp from the crowd. By lap ten, he's top three. By lap fourteen, he's trading seconds with the leader. And by lap seventeen, he makes the move.
A slingshot on the straight, barely legal. Inches to spare. DRS wide open.
Pole.
Just like that.
The final lap is pure theatre. He doesn't need to prove anything, but he does anyway. Throwing sparks through the tunnel, flirting with disaster at the chicane. Showboating. Glorious.
When the checkered flag waves, the name on the board is his.
Pole position: Kim Mingyu.
Time: 1:11.330
The box explodes in celebration. His team goes wild. I hear it echo even from here.
I watch the replay. Frame by frame. Slow-motion heroism. Precision, madness, beauty.
The paddock buzzes with post-qualifying static. Reporters crowding around flashing cameras, pit crews celebrating in their own corners, and the air practically vibrating with ego and exhaust.
And at the center of it all, like always, stands him.
Dripping sweat, champagne, and audacity.
His suit's peeled down to his waist, his fireproof undershirt sticking in all the right places, dark hair pushed back like he just walked out of a photo shoot instead of a cockpit. Every angle is clean, curated. The smirk, the wink to the camera, the stupid little fist pump.
I don't move.
I don't clap.
Not when his name lights up the leaderboard, not when the pit crew erupts like someone detonated joy, and definitely not when he glances over his shoulder like he's looking for someone.
Because I know exactly who he's looking for.
And I'll be damned if I give him the satisfaction of meeting that gaze first.
âž»
I'm leaning against the side of the hospitality tent, holding a bottle of water and a chip on my shoulder sharp enough to slice through carbon fiber.
He finds me anyway.
"Didn't see you in parc fermé," he says, approaching.
"Didn't need to be there," I reply, cool. "The cameras were doing enough worshipping for the both of us."
He grins like it's a compliment. "You sound jealous."
"Of what? Your thirst trap victory lap?"
He steps closer. Too close. "Of being the fastest on the grid."
"I've been the fastest," I say, looking him dead in the eye. "And I didn't need a camera crew to validate it."
"Ouch," he laughs, one hand over his chest. "Still bitter?"
"No," I say smoothly. "Just bored."
His smirk twitches, and I know I've landed a hit.
But Mingyu, the arrogant bastard that he is, never backs down. He tilts his head, dark eyes narrowing with something almost curious. Or maybe hunger.
"You still talk like you're the one with a seat," he says.
"You still talk like you're untouchable."
"I just secured the pole at one of the most technical tracks on the circuit. If I'm not untouchable, who is?"
"Someone who doesn't throw away a lead at Monaco."
That wipes the smirk off his face for a half-second. Good.
But then, he laughs. Quietly. Like he's indulging me.
"Still keeping tabs on my stats, huh?"
"I keep tabs on hazards," I say, voice low. "And you drive like you're one bad decision away from becoming one."
He leans in. "Funny. I always thought I reminded you of someone."
The words slice, even though I see them coming.
I stand straighter. "Don't."
His smile turns razor sharp. "Why not? You've been pretending this weekend is just a casual drop by, like you didn't grow up in these paddocks like your blood isn't still fifty percent ethanol and carbon brake dust."
"You think bringing up my dad earns you points?"
"I think it's the truth," he says, quiet and cutting. "And I think it scares the hell out of you."
I say nothing. Not because he's right, but because I know if I open my mouth, I'll say something that tastes too much like grief.
He must sense it because instead of pressing harder, he pivots.
"You remember Spa?"
Of course, I remember Spa.
The humid summer heat. The taste of victory is one lap away. The night before his first junior race, when he couldn't stop pacing, I told him to either get in the car or get over himself.
He thinks bringing that up softens me.
It doesn't.
"You mean the weekend you nearly totaled your car trying to impress the media?" I ask. "Yeah, I remember."
"You were in my garage the entire time," he says, stepping closer. "Even when everyone else left."
"I stayed because you wouldn't shut up," I say. "Your whole team looked like they wanted to throttle you."
"You didn't."
"I should have."
"You called me a glorified kart driver with a God complex."
"And you still asked me to sit in your car the next morning."
He laughs, and for a second, it's too easy to remember that summer sun and his stupid grin, the way he looked at me like I already belonged in his world.
But I don't now.
Not in this one.
I take a step back. "Spa was a long time ago."
"Not for me."
I narrow my eyes. "Still clinging to every compliment I gave you before puberty finished hitting?"
"You weren't exactly stingy with them."
"You had one good overtake."
"It was beautiful, and you know it."
"It was reckless and nearly illegal."
"That's how I knew you'd notice."
The air tightens between us.
He's toeing the line. Not crossing it, but daring me to.
"I'm not here to relive Spa," I say. "And I'm not here for you."
Mingyu nods once, jaw tight. "Keep telling yourself that. You still showed."
I turn to leave, but his voice catches me mid step.
"You know," he says, voice cooler now, "you can pretend all you want. But you're not bored, and you're not above it. You still feel it. The adrenaline. The pull. The need to win. You're just pissed it's me in the seat and not you."
I freeze.
He knows exactly what he's doing.
"Here's the difference between us," I say slowly, turning back. "You drive to be loved. I drove to win. I don't need to be anyone's poster child."
"And I don't need to dig up a dead man's legacy to prove I belong here."
That hits harder than he expects.
He knows it. I see it in the brief flicker of regret that crosses his face.
But I don't give him the satisfaction of seeing it land.
I smile. Cold. Clean. Surgical.
"Pole position suits you, Kim," I say. "Let's see how long you hold it."
Then I walk off, my spine straight and my heart a war drum.
Because the worst part isn't that he's good.
It's that I still want to see how far he'll fall.
And worse, how much of me would go with him.
âž»
Rooftop parties in Monza are always overdone.
Too much champagne, too many rich boys pretending they aren't terrified of crashing tomorrow, and music pulsing just loud enough to drown out the fear of failure. Everything glitters here. Skin, sweat, ambition.
I almost don't come.
But when a media liaison sends me a smug little "Hope to see you at the rooftop party tonight ;)" text, I throw on my sharpest heels and arrive ten minutes late with a perfectly timed smile and someone else's arm around my waist.
Not a date. Not really.
Just someone dangerous looking enough to make people look twice when we walk in.
Including Kim Mingyu.
I feel his stare the moment we step out of the elevator. It latches onto me before the doors even fully open. Across the rooftop, flanked by half the grid and a circle of admirers, he stands with a drink in his hand and fury behind his eyes.
Good.
I tilt my chin, ignoring him. My companion, Luca, some former endurance driver turned influencer, leans down to say something near my ear. I don't catch all of it. I'm too focused on the way Mingyu's grip tightens around his glass.
Petty? Maybe.
But if he gets to walk around this circuit like he owns every inch of it, then I get to remind him I'm not one of those inches.
I mingle, laugh at things that aren't funny, and dance with Luca, knowing full well who's watching. The music pulses through the rooftop, rich bass and heat twining through my bloodstream like jet fuel. But after a while, it becomes too much. The noise, the humidity, the attention.
So, I slip away.
Out onto the balcony where the air is finally calm, quiet, and mine. Below, the streets of Monza glint like they're made of diamonds. Somewhere out there, the race track weaves between buildings like a heartbeat.
It still lives in me. The pulse of it. The memory.
I close my eyes.
"You like bringing someone new to every event?"
I don't turn around.
"Do you like policing who I arrive with?"
His voice is closer now. Still sharp, still smug. But a little quieter.
"I just think it's funny," Mingyu says. "You say you've left this world behind, but you keep showing up to these things like you never left."
I finally face him. He's leaning against the railing, looking too good in a black button down and sleeves rolled just high enough to show his forearms.
"Maybe I just missed the champagne," I say flatly. "Or the egos."
He chuckles, gaze flicking down before finding my eyes again. "Is that why you brought Luca? To stroke yours?"
I cross my arms. "He's harmless."
"Yeah," he says, voice sharper than before. "Exactly."
We're quiet for a moment. The wind lifts strands of my hair, and neither of us moves.
Then, softer
"I shouldn't have brought up your dad."
I freeze.
It's not the apology that catches me off guard. It's the way he says it. Like it's been sitting in his chest too long, getting heavier every time he breathed around it.
"I was pissed," he goes on. "You got under my skin. You always do."
"Not a great excuse."
"I know."
I study him. He's not hiding behind a smirk now. There's something almost raw in the way he looks at me.
"You think it scares me," I say. "This place. The cars. The legacy. But it doesn't."
"Then what does?"
I look at him.
"You."
That wasn't supposed to slip.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek, but it's already in the air between us, hanging heavy like mist before a storm.
Mingyu stares at me like he's afraid to breathe wrong.
"You mean that?" he asks, and it's the most unsure I've ever heard him sound.
I laugh, but it's hollow. "God, don't get cocky about it."
"I'm not."
"You will."
"I won't if you stay."
"I'm not staying."
"Then why did you come?"
"Because I'm an idiot."
He takes a step forward. "You're not."
"I can't do this."
"We're not doing anythingâ"
"No," I snap, stepping back. "You want to pretend like it's all part of the game. Like the flirting, the fighting, the looks, they're just banter. But it's not, Mingyu. It never was."
"I know that."
"Do you?"
"Of course I do," he says, and it's breathless now. "Why do you think I'm always looking for you? In every damn room? Why do you think I hate it when you're with anyone else? Or when you act like none of this matters?"
I shake my head. "You don't get to say that. Not after Spa. Not after last year."
"That wasn'tâ"
"You don't get to make me feel like I walked away from something sacred when you're the one who turned it into a circus."
He flinches.
"I'm not some ghost hanging around the paddock for nostalgia," I add, voice rising. "I loved this once. I loved you once. And you let the spotlight eat both of us alive."
He's quiet. Too quiet.
And the silence is suddenly unbearable.
"I shouldn't have come," I say, stepping away.
"YNâ"
But I don't stop.
I push past the door and back into the party, slipping into the noise and crowd before he can see how much my hands are shaking.
âž»
I wake up to sunlight bleeding through unfamiliar curtains and a hangover of emotion I can't shake.
Three missed calls. Five unread messages.
MINGYU:
I shouldn't have let you walk away. Can we talk? Please. You still there? I didn't mean to hurt you.
I toss the phone face down on the hotel bed and press my hands to my face.
The night plays back in flashes. His voice is softer than I've ever heard it. My own, sharp and cracked at the edges. The look in his eyes when I said you scared me.
I shouldn't have said that.
I shouldn't have said any of it.
But it's too late to take it back and too soon to face what it means.
By the time I reach the paddock, it's already alive. Mechanics are moving like clockwork, engineers are barking data, and fans are pressed to barricades in a blur of color and flags. Race day in Monza is unlike any other, with tight corners, blind apexes, and no room for error.
I know this circuit like muscle memory.
I know Mingyu better.
He's usually calm on race days. Sharp, focused. He jokes with the crew and leans against the pit wall like it's just another day in paradise. But today? Something's off.
He barely glances at the camera during his grid walk. He doesn't even acknowledge the announcer calling his name. His jaw's tight, mouth a line carved in stone as he slides into the cockpit.
I stand off to the side, arms crossed, sunglasses hiding everything I can't control. I tell myself I don't care. That I'm just here because my name still gets me into these places, not because I'm holding my breath as the lights go red.
But when they go out...
He launches like he's chasing something he'll never catch.
Lap after lap, he's off.
Late on turn in. Snapping into corners, pushing too hard on exits, and overcorrecting in ways he never does. He's still fast, of course he is, but it's not the way Mingyu drives. It's frantic, reckless. Emotional.
And that's what scares me.
"He's not listening to strategy," someone mutters near the pit wall. "Keeps overriding."
"Tyres won't last at this rate."
I inch closer, ears straining for the radio feed I know too well.
"Box, box, box," comes the call.
He doesn't answer.
On the next lap, he finally peels into the pit lane. Too hot, too fast and skids a little over the line.
When his car screeches to a halt, someone reaches for my wrist.
"Team principal wants you in the garage," they say. "Now."
"I'm notâ"
"He asked."
I don't ask why.
The second I enter the garage, the air shifts. Controlled chaos. Tire guns scream. Mechanics swarm. Mingyu's helmet reflects the lights above like a mirror, but I don't need to look at his face to see how angry he is.
He won't look at me.
Not once.
He pulls out of the pit box with a screech and a flash of red taillight, leaving black streaks behind.
The pit wall murmurs.
"His sector time dropped again."
"Something's wrong."
No one says my name. No one asks why I'm here. But I see the looks. I feel the unspoken tension curl around my ribcage like wire.
I turn to the monitor. The feed tracks his car as it dances through Casino Square, close, too close to the barriers. He's fast. Too fast. Trying to bleed something out of himself with every turn.
"He's going to bin it if he doesn't calm down," a voice says behind me.
I press a fist to my lips.
This is my fault.
I shouldn't have gone to the party. I shouldn't have brought someone else. I shouldn't have let things go that far on the balcony. Shouldn't have said his name like it meant more than it should.
Because it does.
And I know that. I've always known that.
Lap 42.
He clips the inside curb through the Nouvelle chicane. A puff of tire smoke, but he recovers.
Barely.
The engineer tries again. "Mingyu, you need to cool the tires. Ease through Sector 2."
Silence.
My heart thunders like a race start.
The camera angle shifts and catches him through the tunnel, just a blur of speed and shadow, and I swear, even in that silence, I can feel the weight of his fury.
This isn't about the race anymore.
This is about me.
I turn away from the screen and press my back to the wall, chest tight.
He's trying to outdrive a heartbreak we haven't even admitted to and trying to put distance between what we said and what we meant. But this track doesn't forgive emotion. It doesn't give you space to figure it out mid lap.
It punishes.
It ends careers.
It took my father.
And if Mingyu doesn't get out of his head, it might take him too.
I press the headset closer, voice shaking. "Tell him to stop driving angry."
The engineer glances at me. "He's not listening."
"Then make him."
He hesitates.
I close my eyes.
"Tell him," I whisper, "I'm still here."
The air in the garage is suffocating.
I can feel the tension crackling through it like static. Engineers hunch closer to monitors, eyes darting between telemetry and tire temps, sector splits and radio chatter. Everyone's whispering, but no one's saying the only thing they're all thinking.
He's going to crash.
Lap 65 of 78.
Monza is unforgiving. It always has been. One lapse, one moment too late or too early, and it's all over. Mingyu's been walking that razor-thin edge for almost an hour now, and each lap is just sharpening the blade.
He still hasn't responded to strategy.
Not since Lap 42.
Not since he saw me in the garage.
I stare at the screen in front of me. My fists clenched, feeling every heartbeat in my throat as his car screeches into Tabac, too close, his rear end twitching dangerously.
"He's overdriving," someone says. "He's gonna cook those mediums before the flag."
"Mingyu, box if you can't stabilize the rear," the race engineer tries again. "You're losing the back every other turn. We can adjust."
Silence.
Again.
They're running out of options.
I'm already moving before I realize it.
The headset's warm from someone else's head, but I don't care. I snatch it off the rack, and the team principal turns toward me like I've grown a second head.
"He's not listening to anyone," I say. "So let me try."
There's a pause, half a second of hesitation, then he nods once.
I don't wait.
My thumb hits the comm switch, and I speak before I can talk myself out of it.
"Mingyu."
Nothing.
"Why are you driving like a damn idiot?!"
Still nothing. But I know he hears me. I know he's probably gripping the wheel harder now, jaw clenched, cursing me inside his helmet. I press harder.
"You're throwing away a podium because of me? Seriously? Because you can't get your head out of your ass long enough to breathe through a corner?"
A hiss of static. Not a response. Not yet. But I feel the tension rise from the track through the screen.
I close my eyes. Lower my voice.
"I know why you're doing this."
Sector oneâgreen.
He's pushing harder. Too hard.
"You think I don't see you? You think I haven't seen you from the beginning?"
"I've spent my entire life running from this world. From the noise, the risk, the painâ"
My voice wavers.
"I watched it take someone I loved and twist it into a legacy I didn't want. And then you... God, then youâŠâ
"You were arrogant, infuriating, loud as hell, and you made me remember what it was like to care."
The garage is dead silent now. Every screen, every eye, locked on the feed. No one's even pretending to look away.
"You made me care about something again, and I hate you for that."
I exhale through my teeth. Every part of me is shaking.
"But if you crash that car, Mingyu, if you throw it away, don't you dare think for one second I won't hate myself more."
A breath.
Then, finally, after laps of nothingâ
"You had me at Mingyu."
His voice is breathless. Rough. Like gravel over a fire. But it's there. And he's there.
I press a fist to my mouth as tears threaten the corners of my eyes.
Lap 73.
He steadies.
His cornering evens out, his braking returns to rhythm, and suddenly, he's in Sector 2 like he owns it. Purple time. Fastest lap of the race. He overtakes in the tunnel with a clean sweep that draws a gasp from the team.
Someone cheers behind me. The garage erupts.
He's back.
He's himself again.
"Mingyu, you're P2 now," the engineer says quickly. "Perez is 1.3 seconds ahead."
"Copy," Mingyu breathes. "Let's go get him."
Lap 76. The fight is on.
I stand frozen, watching him dance through the circuit like the car is an extension of his spine like nothing ever went wrong. A clean overtake in the hairpin. One wheel to the inside at Rascasse. He's right on Perez's tail now.
Final lap.
The crowd is on their feet. Cameras flash. My heart is in my throat as Mingyu comes down into Mirabeauâ
âand that's when it happens.
A puff of smoke.
"Yellow flag, Sector 1."
I slam the headset against my ear. "What the hell happened?!"
"Left rear," the engineer mutters. "Tyre failure. He's still moving. He's trying to hold on."
My knees nearly give out as I see it.
Mingyu's car is dragging. The rear's gone soft, wobbling dangerously as he limps through the turn, still trying to defend P2. Sparks fly from the undercarriage. He's still driving.
He's still fighting.
My voice breaks. "Just finish. Please, just get across the line."
He doesn't answer.
He doesn't need to.
He's never stopped.
And as he crosses the finish line. P4, holding on with sheer grit and fire in his chest. I realize I've been holding my breath for the last minute.
The garage explodes around me. Mechanics shout. Hands are on heads. Everyone is debriefing and analyzing.
But I'm frozen in place, staring at the screen, watching his car slow, watching the replay again and again.
He heard me.
He stayed.
But I can't help the thought clawing up my throat like guiltâ
What if I hadn't said anything at all?
Engines still roar in the distance as the last few cars trickle into the paddock. The smell of rubber and fuel clings to everything, metal, asphalt, even my skin. People shout in five different languages around me, team radios squawk with chatter, mechanics wave carbon fiber flags in the air, and photographers are already climbing barricades like vultures.
And then I see him.
Helmet off. Hair sweat-damp and curled at the nape. His suit unzipped just past his collarbones, the fireproof undershirt clinging to every muscle in his chest like it was poured on. His jaw's locked, mouth tight, eyes cold. Sunglasses hang useless in his grip.
P4. Dragged a car home on one tire like it was war and he refused to lose.
He hasn't seen me yet.
He's surrounded by engineers, people slapping his back like a war hero, cameras in his face, boom mics chasing his voice as he mutters answers to media questions I can't hear.
I should leave.
This is his moment. Not mine.
But I can't move.
I'm not sure I could even if I wanted to.
And then he turns.
Our eyes lock.
Everything else goes silent.
He doesn't look triumphant. He doesn't even look relieved. He looks like a storm holding back landfall. Tight, too still, like one wrong move could shatter the restraint he's holding onto by sheer will.
I watch the muscle in his jaw flex once. Twice.
Then he starts walking toward me.
The crowd parts for him like it knows.
Suddenly, I can't breathe.
His footsteps echo against the pavement, steady and brutal, until he's just a few feet away. We're still technically inside the barrier, but this is Mingyu, so rules bend the second he decides they should.
He stops.
Too close.
He doesn't speak.
So I do.
"You didn't even flinch."
He raises a brow, voice rough. "You did."
I blink, throat tight. "You were about to lose the rear at Mirabeau."
"I did lose the rear. You just didn't notice because you were too busy yelling at me through the headset like you were calling a damn opera."
My mouth falls open. "I was trying to save your life."
"I was trying to win a race."
"And almost died doing it."
His mouth curves, but it's not a smile. It's something dark and sharp.
"Worth it."
I shove his shoulder. Hard.
He doesn't budge.
"Stop saying shit like that!" I snap. "You think it's brave? That it's romantic? It's stupid, Mingyu. It's arrogant and reckless and selfish."
His eyes narrow, something slipping behind them.
"You're mad because I drove on the edge," he says quietly. "But you don't get to be mad about why."
"I'm mad because you thought throwing it away would prove something."
"It did."
The words slam into me.
He takes a step forward, voice lower now, eyes locked to mine like we're the only two people in the goddamn paddock.
"I needed you to see what I am. Not the pretty parts. Not the press conferences and grid walks and champagne. This. The worst of it. The fear. The obsession. The part of me that chooses the edge because it's the only place I feel real."
My breath catches. His voice cracks just slightly.
"And I needed to know if you'd still be there after that."
I blink.
And blink again.
"You're insane," I whisper. "You're insane if you think you can weaponize my feelings against me like that."
His face doesn't change. "What feelings?"
I grit my teeth. My hands curl at my sides. I want to scream. I want to kiss him. I want to never see him again.
I step closer.
"Don't play dumb with me now, Kim."
He exhales a laugh, humorless. "You think I don't know what it meant, hearing your voice in my ears? Do you think I didn't feel it in my spine when you said my name like that? I've been begging you to say anything to me that wasn't soaked in venom, and now that you have, now that I've heard itâ"
He cuts off.
I stare up at him.
He's shaking. Only a little. But it's there.
And for the first time since I met him... Mingyu looks scared.
"Mingyu," I whisper. "You could've died."
"I know."
"You could'veâ" My voice breaks. "You would've left me before I ever got to tell you..."
I clamp my mouth shut.
But he hears it.
God, of course, he does.
Like instinct, his hand lifts halfway to my cheek before he catches himself. Drops it. There's too much air between us and not nearly enough at all.
"You were everything I never wanted," I say quietly. "But then I saw the way you fight. The way you fly. And I hated you for it."
He steps forward again, barely a breath from me now.
"I've been in love with you since Spa."
I suck in a breath.
"You had grease on your cheek," he continues, "and fire in your eyes, and told me to stop smirking before you 'rearranged my entire goddamn personality.' I knew then."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because you'd spit it back in my face."
"I probably would've."
He laughs under his breath.
I can't look at him.
But I also can't not.
We're so close now, the crowd is fading again, and my heart is a war drum in my chest.
"I can't do this right now," I whisper. "Not here. Not like this."
"I know," he says softly.
And then, finally, he steps back.
The space between us is unbearable.
"Find me later," he says.
I don't answer.
But my heart's already chasing him down pit lane.
The second he's gone, the air collapses around me.
I don't move. Can't. I'm standing in the shell of a conversation that ripped more out of me than I want to admit, and all I can hear is what I didn't say.
I'm still catching my breath when I hear him.
"Rough night?"
I don't even have to turn around.
The accent. The smooth, condescending lilt. The casual arrogance I know too well.
Julius.
"What do you want?" I ask, voice flat.
He steps closer as if this is some kind of reunion. Like we've ever been anything other than a mistake born out of loneliness and distraction.
"You looked like you needed an out," he says, gaze flicking in the direction Mingyu disappeared. "Thought I'd offer one."
I finally turn to face him. His smug half-smile is already pushing every wrong button.
"I'm fine."
"You sure? Because you looked like you were about two seconds away from unraveling."
I roll my eyes and push past him.
He follows, of course.
"Touchy," he says with a laugh, matching my stride as I head for the stairs. "Is it because lover boy stormed off without a proper goodbye?"
I stop short.
"Don't call him that."
"Oh, come on," he scoffs. "The whole paddock's been buzzing. You think people haven't noticed the way he looks at you like he's already bled for you?"
My jaw tightens. "I'm not interested in gossip."
"No," Julius says, stepping in close, "you're just interested in fucking with people's heads."
I see red.
"Excuse me?"
"You reel him in, then you push him away," he says, calm and measured. "It's your favorite game, isn't it?"
I don't answer.
Because I don't owe Julius a single goddamn truth.
But that's when I feel it, that flicker at the edge of the garage. My head snaps up.
Mingyu.
Standing just across the paddock.
Watching.
For a split second, our eyes lock.
And whatever raw, unfinished thing we left between us, whatever shaky, hopeful tether we almost built, it snaps.
Because all he sees is this.
Me and Julius. Too close. Too familiar.
I can see it on his face the moment the assumption sinks in like poison.
I move.
Fast.
"Mingyuâ"
But he turns.
Gone.
Just like that.
Shit.
I whirl back toward Julius, fury sparking behind my eyes. "Did you follow me out here on purpose?"
He raises his hands like he's innocent. "What? I saw a moment and took it. That's what you do, too, isn't it?"
"I'm not playing games."
"No," he says, cool and cruel. "But you are playing him."
I don't even realize I've shoved him until he stumbles back a step.
"You don't get to talk about him," I snap.
Julius straightens, brushing imaginary dust off his designer jacket.
"You always were more fun when you were angry."
I don't give him the satisfaction of another word.
I storm off, heart pounding, throat burning, brain screaming at me for letting Mingyu walk away thinking something I should've fought harder to stop.
âž»
I don't remember getting back to the hotel.
I remember the slam of the door behind me. The weight of my phone in my hand. The pressure building in my chest like something was going to break open if I didn't do something. I kicked off my heels somewhere near the closet, peeled out of the dress like it was choking me, and dropped onto the edge of the bed in nothing but a black slip and regret.
The image of Mingyu walking away wouldn't stop replaying in my mind.
That look on his face, like I'd confirmed the very thing he was always afraid to say out loud. Like I'd chosen wrong.
Again.
I grabbed my phone.
Can we talk?
No response.
Please.
Still nothing.
I stared at the screen until the texts blurred. My thumb hovered over the call button.
I pressed it.
It rang once.
Twice.
Voicemail.
I hung up before it could finish.
The party was still going downstairs, celebration rolling on without him, without me. Music echoed faintly through the walls, like a reminder that the rest of the world was moving and I wasn't.
I chewed the inside of my cheek, bouncing my leg, nerves sparking like faulty wires. Maybe I shouldn't go. Maybe he didn't want to see me. Maybe this was all one big, tangled mess I'd made worse.
But the part of me that chased him down pit lane wouldn't shut up.
I pulled on a fresh dress. Simple, black, low-cut and tied my hair back with trembling fingers. No makeup this time. No armor. Just me and whatever was left of this thing between us.
On the elevator ride down, I texted Jinho.
Is he there?
A pause.
Jinho: Rooftop. But... maybe don't push it tonight.
I stared at that for a long moment.
I'm already on my way.
The rooftop was quiet.
Not the romantic kind of quiet. Just cold, sharp, and a little too still. The skyline flickered in the distance, but all I could focus on was him.
Mingyu.
He stood with his back to me, elbows braced against the railing like he'd been standing there forever. His jacket was half-zipped, collar ruffled, and hair a mess. He didn't move when I stepped out.
He didn't have to. He knew it was me.
"I wasn't going to come," I said quietly.
Still nothing.
"But I needed to explain."
"You don't have to explain Julius," he muttered.
"I want to."
He turned slowly, his expression unreadable. Not angry. Just... closed off. Like a door halfway shut.
"He showed up out of nowhere," I said. "I didn't want him there. He said something, and I pushed him away. That's all it was."
Mingyu looked at me, jaw tight.
"I saw him touch you."
"I didn't touch him back."
"But you didn't pull away."
I took a step closer. "Because I was frozen. Not because I wanted him."
His stare didn't waver.
"I don't want him, Mingyu. I haven't for a long time."
"Then why is it so easy for you to run to everything that isn't me?"
That cut deep.
I opened my mouth, then shut it again. My heart pounded.
"You say I scare you," he said, voice low, almost bitter. "But you're the one who keeps turning away. I already told you how I feel. I stood there in the middle of a goddamn pit lane and told you I was in love with you. And youâ" he shook his head, laughing once, without humorâ"you just walked away."
"I didn'tâ"
"You didn't say it back."
I froze.
"You never do," he said. "You feel it, but you never say it. And I can't keep guessing, YN. I'm not asking for promises. I just want the truth."
I stared at him.
He stepped forward. Close. Closer than I could handle.
"Tell me," he said. "Tell me you don't feel anything, and I'll walk away."
I opened my mouth.
Closed it again.
He waited.
The silence stretched between us, unbearable.
"I can't," I whispered.
He stepped even closer. "Can't what?"
"Say it."
"Why?"
"Because if I say itâ" my voice cracked, "then it's real."
"It's already real."
I shook my head. "It'll ruin everything."
"No," he said, voice rough. "It'll finally make it mean something."
My chest felt too tight. My breath was shallow.
He stared down at me, eyes blazing. "Say it, YN."
I shook my head. "I'm scared."
"I know," he said. "Say it anyway."
I blinked, eyes stinging.
He stepped in.
His hand found my jaw, thumb brushing the corner of my mouth like he was daring me not to hide.
"Say it," he whispered.
I couldn't.
So he kissed me.
Hard.
No hesitation. No room left for fear or reason or anything except him. His mouth was fire, his grip unrelenting, like he'd waited too long and lost too much to hold back now.
I gasped, and he swallowed it whole, one hand in my hair, the other curling around my hip. I clung to him like gravity, like his kiss was the only thing keeping me upright.
When we finally broke apart, breathless, his forehead pressed to mine.
"You don't have to be ready," he whispered. "Just be here."
I didn't answer.
I just took his hand.
His fingers curled around mine, warm and steady, like he didn't care that I hadn't said the words.
Like this was enough.
We left the rooftop in silence. No one stopped us. The hallway lights buzzed overhead as we moved past the closed doors, our steps too fast to be casual, too charged to be calm. My heart beat so loud I could barely hear the music downstairs anymore.
Mingyu hit the elevator button. The doors opened.
We stepped inside.
The second they closed behind us, I was against the mirrored wall, his mouth crashing into mine with a force that knocked the air right out of me.
There was no hesitation this time. No slow build, no delicate approach. Just teeth and tongue and hands everywhere. His fingers threaded into my hair, tugging my head back so he could kiss deeper, rougher like he was trying to erase the hours we'd spent apart.
"You don't know," he growled against my mouth, "how long I've wanted to touch you like this."
I moaned into him, hands gripping the front of his shirt, yanking him closer. "Then don't stop."
The elevator dinged.
He pulled away just long enough to drag me down the hallway, fingers tight around my wrist, not looking back once.
Room 1427. Keycard. Click.
The door shut behind us.
And then I was on the wall again, breathless, my dress hiked up around my waist, his thigh wedged between mine as he kissed me like he was starving.
I gasped as his hand slid under the hem of my dress, dragging up my leg, squeezing hard.
"You wore this for me?" he asked, voice low and wrecked. "This little thing with nothing underneath?"
"Yes," I breathed.
He groaned deep in his chest, mouth dropping to my neck as he bit, kissed, and licked across every sensitive inch of skin. My back arched. My fingers tangled in his hair.
"I need to see you," he murmured. "All of you."
I let him pull the dress over my head and toss it aside.
Then he stepped back.
And stared.
His chest rose and fell like he couldn't breathe.
"Fuck, YN," he whispered, eyes dragging down my body like he didn't know where to start. "You're so beautiful."
I crossed the room, took his hand, and placed it on my waist.
"Then touch me."
That broke him.
He kissed me again, slower this time, more controlled, but just barely. He peeled his shirt off, his skin warm against mine, muscles flexing under my palms as I traced over his chest, stomach, and waistband line.
He laid me down on the bed like I was something sacred.
Then covered me with his body, hands exploring every inch of me like he had to relearn it, memorize it, own it.
"Fuck," he murmured as he kissed down my chest, my stomach, lower. "I love you."
"Mingyuâ"
"I know," he said. "I know."
He spread my legs slowly, reverently. Kissed the inside of my thigh, then again, higher, teasing. My breath hitched.
"You're already so wet for me," he said, voice like a prayer and a curse all at once. "I didn't even have to ask."
"You never had to."
Then his mouth was on me.
I cried out, hands flying to his hair as he licked deep and slow, fingers gripping my thighs to keep me open. His tongue moved with purpose, with practiced reverence, curling just right until I was shaking under him.
"Come for me," he murmured against me. "Let me feel it."
I broke. Loud. Unfiltered. And he didn't stop. Not until I was breathless and trembling, thighs still twitching around his shoulders.
He kissed his way back up my body, licking into my mouth like he could taste me on his tongue.
"Do you want me?" he asked, voice thick, eyes dark and wide. "Tell me."
"I want you," I whispered. "I want you so bad."
He fumbled out of his pants, cursing under his breath, and I helped him, fingers desperate, hands greedy.
When he finally pressed into me, slow and deep, I gasped.
So did he.
"God," he choked out. "You feel like fucking heaven."
We moved together like we were making up for lost time. His hips met mine with force, his hand gripping my thigh, the other holding my wrist to the bed as he fucked me.
Deep, intentional, raw.
Each thrust was a confession.
Each moan, a word I couldn't say.
"I love you," he groaned into my skin. "Even when you can't say it. Even when you push me away."
I whimpered. "Don't stop. Please."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said. "Not this time."
He moved faster, harder, our bodies slamming together in rhythm, the heat building, the pleasure blinding. I felt him everywhere, his breath on my neck, his hand in my hair, his heart pounding against mine.
"Come with me," he whispered, voice trembling.
"I'mâMingyuâ"
And then I shattered.
I came with a cry, clinging to him like a lifeline, and he followed, groaning my name, spilling into me with a shudder, his whole body pressed against mine like he was trying to crawl inside my skin.
When it was over, we stayed there.
Naked. Twined together. Breathing hard.
His forehead rested against mine.
"I'm still scared," I whispered.
He kissed me softly. "Me too."
"But I'm here."
His arms wrapped tighter around me.
"Good," he said. "Stay."
He shifted just enough to look at me, eyes searching mine like he wanted to believe it but couldn't let himself. Not yet.
"Stay," he said again, quieter this time. A plea. A promise.
I cupped his face with both hands, running my thumbs gently over the angles of his cheeks. His skin was warm. His lashes fluttered when I touched him like that.
"I'm not going anywhere," I whispered back. "Not anymore."
Something in him cracked then. I saw it happen.
His mouth crashed into mine, not desperate like before, but slow and deep. It was a kiss that felt like surrender. His hand slid into my hair, the other cradling my jaw, holding me like I was fragile like I mattered.
"I need you," he murmured between kisses. "Not just like that. I need you. All of you."
"You have me," I said, voice shaking. "You always did."
He rolled us gently, his body settling between my legs, and everything about him shifted. There was no rush. No urgency.
Only feeling.
He kissed me like I was the only thing that had ever made sense. Every inch of skin his mouth touched, he lingered. Worshipped. His hands mapped me like he needed to relearn me from scratch.
And I let him.
"I'm going slow," he whispered against my throat. "I want to feel all of it."
"Okay," I breathed. "I want that too."
When he finally entered me again, I gasped. Not from the stretch, but from the emotion of it. From the way his eyes locked on mine like he wanted to watch the moment he became a part of me again.
His hips moved gently, deeply, every roll of his body syncing with mine like we'd been built for this.
He kissed my cheek, the corner of my mouth, my shoulder, like he couldn't choose where to stay.
"You feel like home," he said, voice trembling. "I didn't know I could miss someone like this."
Tears stung my eyes.
I wrapped my arms around him, clinging to him, pulling him in deeper.
"I'm here," I whispered. "I'm so sorry I didn't say it before."
"Say it now."
My throat tightened. But I didn't look away.
"I love you, Mingyu."
His breath hitched. His thrusts stuttered.
I kissed the corner of his mouth. "I love you. I love you. I love you."
His forehead dropped to mine, eyes wet, breath shaky as he moved inside me, slow, our bodies rocking together like they were speaking in a language we finally understood.
The build was soft. Gradual. The kind that crept up on us until I was gasping his name into his mouth, nails dragging down his back as my orgasm hit with the weight of everything I'd held in for too long.
"Come with me," I whispered. "Let go."
He did, moaning my name like it was a prayer, hips pressing deep as he spilled into me, burying his face in my neck.
We stayed like that for a long time.
Breathing. Holding. Crying, just a little.
And when he pulled back, eyes red and raw, he kissed me again like I'd saved him.
"You mean it?" he asked quietly.
"I've never meant anything more."
He smiled,messy and perfect.
He kissed me again.
Softer now. Slower. Just warmth, breath, and the lingering weight of everything we couldn't say until now. His thumb stroked gently across my cheek as he pulled back, searching my eyes like he wanted to make sure I was still here.
I was.
And for the first time in a long time, I didn't want to be anywhere else.
He eased out of me with a soft groan, his touch carefulâreverent, like he didn't want to hurt me after everything we'd just shared. I winced slightly at the sensitivity, and he was already moving, grabbing a warm towel from the bathroom.
"I got you," he murmured, kneeling beside the bed.
I watched him in the low hotel light. The way his brows furrowed in quiet focus as he cleaned me up, as he pressed a kiss to my thigh when he finished. He didn't say much. He didn't need to.
He slid back into bed behind me, pulling me into his chest like he was scared I might disappear if he let go. My head tucked beneath his chin, our legs tangled together under the sheet. His palm found the curve of my waist, and fingers splayed like he was claiming the right to hold me.
I let the silence settle.
Until I whispered, "What happens now?"
He exhaled slowly. I could feel it against my temple. His hand moved up, brushing hair from my face.
"I don't know," he said honestly. "I don't think I've ever gotten this far before."
That made me smile. A small one. Tired. Real.
"I mean it," he continued. "I don't have a script for this part. For you. But I know what I want."
I looked up at him.
He met my eyes. Serious now.
"I want you," he said. "I want this. Whatever it looks like. But you have to know something."
I waited.
"This life. The races, the danger, the travelâit's not going away. It's who I am. It's what I've worked for my whole life."
I nodded. "I know."
"But I also know it scares you."
My throat tightened.
"You don't say it, but I see it every time I step on the track. You hold your breath like I might not come back."
"Because sometimes I think you won't," I whispered.
He didn't flinch.
"I get it," he said gently. "But I need you to be in this with me. Fully. Not halfway. Not with one foot out the door. I want you to be my person, YN. I want to come home to you. But I can't do that if you're always running."
I blinked hard. Swallowed even harder.
And then it broke.
The words, the weight, the years I'd held it in.
"My dadâ" I started, voice cracking.
I felt him nod. Felt his lips press against the top of my head.
"You'll never go through that again," he said, voice firm. "I won't let you."
"You can't promise that," I whispered.
His hand cupped my cheek, gently turning my face toward him.
"I know," he said. "But I can promise thisâI'll never stop coming back to you. No matter what. You're it for me."
I closed my eyes, tears slipping free.
He kissed them away. One at a time. Slow and steady.
"Stay with me," he whispered. "Be scared. Be messy. Be mad at the world. But stay."
I nodded, voice too broken to speak.
And he held me like he'd never let go.
Our bodies cooled. Our breathing evened. The city outside kept moving, but in here, it was just us. Safe. Bare. Real.
I buried my face in his chest and let the exhaustion take me.
And this time, I didn't dream of losing him.
I dreamt of staying.
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