#i havent even eaten properly- im ngl i havent rly eaten properly for a while now
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#i dnt tend to rly buy myself nice stuff and i brought myself some bangles today after like maybe 3 years#but i ended up getting rly frustrated hahaha#i was craving karak chai all day and by the time we were able to get it it was like 5pm which theres no point#bc i wudjt be able to sleep so i had to give up hving it#i havent even eaten properly- im ngl i havent rly eaten properly for a while now#and we wasted half the day#i rly rly hope i end up with a provider man im tired of being hyperindependent
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#sorry my blogs gotten p sad lately#im not good#at all#ive cried myself to sleep the last week and a half#and past three nights ive been drinking just to get my head to shut up#its especially bad today so my dumbass self is taking painkillers too#im ngl im scared cos i cant move much#plus ive not eaten at all today#probs making it worse#i keep fucking up#nothing feels real anymore#theres no point in doing anything#im never going to do anything worth while#and im not even happy so there rly is no point#i havent been properly happy in about a year#like ill be happy for a day maybe but the last time i was genuinely happy and doing good was a year ago for maybe a few days#i miss it#but i cant feel like that again because im an idiot and i fuck everything up#i cant get that back bc things are different now#thinking about good memories hurts more bc its a feeling i miss so much#sorry im loopy#this makes no sense to anyone#you guys dont have to interact dw youre all so sweet when u message me but honestly idk if i can talk to a stranger rn#ill probs delete this later#if im not dead loll#sorry that was morbid ill be fine this isnt my first overdose and it wont be my last
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