#i havent been here al day thank god

[rainbowbeanstyles]

that vid of the man saying louis wrote always you about harry is so funnyjksajss he's saying it like a fact, talking with a couple of friends🤣🤣

[glowstickhaloboy]

the final part or else god help me (otherwise known as: the happy ending)

part one

part two

part three

“you never answered the question, dear,” aziraphale points out, carefully unpacking the contents of a whicker basket onto their picnic blanket, mindful of crowley’s sprawled-out legs. 

earlier that morning, there were weather reports of rain, but that report conflicted with crowley and aziraphale’s plans for the day, so miraculously (actually, the accurate term was demonically) a fine patch of sunlight remains obstinate over their hill while the rest of london glowers. but that’s far away.

crowley looks up from a dish of strawberries, caught off guard. “hmm?”

“have you?” asks aziraphale, smiling politely, which is as close as he gets, masking-manipulative-behavior-wise, to taking after crowley.

“oh, you’re far too pleased with yourself about whatever it is you’re planning. look at you, you’ve been thinking about it all morning. come on, out with it, what is it?”

aziraphale gasps, wronged. “i beg your pard--”

“before i die of old age, angel.”

“rude.” aziraphale tuts. he hands a cloth napkin to crowley and then tucks the basket out of sight behind his back. “i’m just making innocent conversation.”

“innocent,” crowley repeats, and the repetition is all that’s necessary to show which substance exactly he believes that sentence to be a load of.

aziraphale smiles sweetly at him and asks pointedly, “have you ever been in love?”

“angel,” crowley sighs, leaning down so that he talks over the bone of his shoulder, “i don’t think i ever wasn’t.”

that stuns the smile off of aziraphale’s face. he reaches out suddenly, like a man drowning, for crowley’s hand, and it’s worth it, crowley thinks--being so open, that is--if it means a reward like that.

which steels his resolve.

“and that’s why i wanted to tell you,” he continues, as bravely as he can in the face of six millennia of packing down a particular past. “but...”

“now, if there’s any doubt in your mind--”

“it’s not doubt for me.” 

aziraphale looks confused at that. his thumb stops massaging crowley’s knuckle and he asks, “well, what does that mean?”

“i think it would freak you out,” crowley says plainly.

“my dear, i’ve known you for over six thousand years. nothing you could possibly say or do is beyond my comprehension of you.”

crowley raises his eyebrows. he beckons aziraphale closer and, the both of them leaning in, whispers something into aziraphale’s ear, the whole while thinking with wonder, i’m talking about it. i’m saying it out loud and i feel okay.

when they resume like normal, aziraphale’s eyes have grown the way a cat’s paw does in bringing out their claws. crowley can’t help but smile.

“no,” breathes aziraphale.

crowley nods (just a shade away from smugly.) “yup.”

“no.”

“yup.”

“surely not. surely you can’t have fallen. are you lying to me?”

“told you it would freak you out.”

“i’m not-!” aziraphale begins to protest, rather sharply, then stops himself and takes a deep breath. “i’m not freaking out. do you mean to tell me that i forgot to pack the archangel raphael’s yoghurt?” 

something of the mirth in crowley’s expression quickly fades, but he keeps his composure. it’s been awhile, that’s all, since hearing that name be spoken aloud. and by aziraphale no less. aziraphale, the only hope crowley has left that angels might really be holy. the only one in all of creation whose opinion on him really matters. and he’s just learned the truth.

and it’s okay.

it feels like the world has been saved a second time.

“the yoghurt’ll still be there another day,” crowley says, measured.

but aziraphale slaps his own forehead, obviously past the point of listening. “of course! the stars! oh, you’re sneaky, it was you all al--”

“yes?” crowley prompts. (aziraphale had gone very still.)

“oh.” the angel melts. “it was you all along! crowley, my dear, you... you... you practically set it all up for us, you beautiful creature. oh, every moment we’ve had, here in our middle, it’s all because--because all of your marks are still there. no part of you has ever left. don’t you see?”

it’s crowley’s turn not to listen. his ears are still ringing with the echo of crowley, my dear,

crowley, my dear,

he puts effort into snapping out of it, into controlling the traitorous, sappy twinge of his heart.

“you never fell at all. you couldn’t. not after all you’ve done for the world. you will never be erased from heaven.”

up until the very last second, crowley is prepared to argue, but then, unexpectedly (yes, even to himself,) he grins. it’s a very bastardy grin. and it’s a powerful one, too. he nods to aziraphale conspiratorially and says:

“whether they like it or not.”

[AN 1: find this collection on AO3 for easier bookmarking]

[AN 2: i am in no way sick of writing these goons, so consider my ask box open for prompts! please send me anything you might want to read in a small fic!! and thank you so much for reading all the way to the end. i honestly did not imagine receiving such a warm response when i first published part 1, but you’ve all made me feel good about my writing in ways i havent in literal years, so thank you thank you thank again <333]

[go-dark-turtle]

(Here it is Chapter 4 is complete. Here is a link to part 2 of chapter 3 if you havent already read it.

Please enjoy this chapter just like other chapters there is mild swearing. Onwards to the chapter. TALLY HOOOO! Its split into 2 parts again so here it is part 1! )

Chapter 4 Heart-racing Hectic Hijinxs and a Hol Horse

Jotaro drove for another 3 or so hours heading towards the outskirts of Luxor, most of the way there you had been so overwhelmed with emotions it burnt you out, you fell asleep squished between Kakyion and Joseph, you snuggled into Kakyion's shoulder and he looked down at you and smiled. At moments when Avdol and Joseph did not look his way he would brush his hand against yours, he did it to comfort you. Even in your sleep you had a slight smile whenever you could feel his touch. 

"I think this might be a good spot to crash for the night, what do you think Jotaro?" Polneraff asked. 

"Hm yeah why not." Jotaro sighed he was just as exhausted as everyone else.

Jotaro had parked your car by some old ruins on the outskirts of Luxor and got out to have a smoke, Avdol and Joseph smiled, they got out the car knowing they could stretch their legs and get the luggage from the boot and set up camp. Polnareff joined Jotaro in having a cigarette while Iggy went for a walk along the riverbed. 

"Hey Y/N wake up we are here, come on" The young red haired man gently nudged your shoulder. 

You rubbed your eyes and looked about the empty car in a daze. You blinked slowly and you looked at Kakyion and that's when everything came flooding back. 

"I thought we were gonna be safe, I didn't know she could find me so easily, I'm so sorry I put you and everyone at risk...." You cried softly and Kakyion interrupted you by pulling you into a soft hug. 

"Nonsense Y/N,  you did everything in your power to prevent a horrible outcome with Avdol and myself, for that I thank you" He gently patted and stroked your hair.

"I'm grateful that I changed the future, and some future should change, no way was I going to allow you to be hurt, let alone have your eyes damaged" You pulled out the hug and went to reach for his face. He was still smiling down at you. 

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Joseph peaked in the passenger door left open by Polernaff. 

You jolted backwards and clasped your hands looking down and Kakyion softly giggled. 

"I have some scrambled eggs and toast for dinner, heh courtesy of the Speedwagon Foundation. It will be ready soon, come join us at the campfire." The old man smirked and adjusted his hat and exited the door and walked away.

Joseph knew, oh he knew exactly what was going on and it was all thanks to Hermit Purple, he smirked and was loving that you both were finding your way to each other. He was by the stove cooking the eggs and gently roasting the bread, watching on from a distance.   

Avdol noticed his smirk "Mr Joestar did you figure something out?"

"Hm perhaps, but I don't want to give spoilers" He smirked more and pointed at you and Kakyion walking over to the campfire. 

"Oh I see, ah young love isn't it beautiful? Don't worry Mr Joestar I won't let on we know anything.....Wait! When you used Hermit Purple..." Avdol turned to him and figured it out. 

Without a word Joseph tapped his nose and smirked and started to plate up the dinner. Avdol smiled back and shrugged of course he found out with Hermit purple.

****After dinner****

You all sat round the campfire, you were still shaken up by the whole thing and you hugged your knees and placed your forehead on them.

"God I don't even know how I'm gonna tell Tamsin what happened to the Bombay Cottage let alone I got involved with a cowboy working for a vampire and oh yeah I'm a stand user." You just wanted to wake up back at the beach house and this was all a nightmare.

"Listen don't worry about that, I'll take care of talking to Tamsin, after all I am a businessman, I'm sure there's something I can work out with him for sure. Besides, you really have helped us out and lord only knows how long it would take to find out where Dio's mansion is." Joseph sipped his coffee as he consulted you. 

"He's right Y/N we will take care of everything from here on in, you've done more than enough for us, even if it was a day or two breather from Dio and his minions." Kakyion placed his hand on your shoulder.  

 "Unfortunately when you travel with us, trouble always follows, doesn't it, hey Jotaro you remember Anne?" Polnareff asked

"Yeah what about the little runt?" Jotaro grunted

"I think she totally had the hots for you, it's a shame she couldn't travel with us anymore, wouldn't you agree?" The Frenchman smirked

Jotaro glared at him and summoned Star Platinum and karate chopped his head and flatted his hair down. 

"OI! Watch the hair!" He raised his fist. 

"Shut it and dont say stupid stuff" He turned and had a slight blush on his face

"Ohhhhh? Is that a blush I seeeee~" Polnareff teased.

"No, get lost" The young teen placed his hands in his pocket

He then started to walk away and Polnareff followed only to get into a fight and got punched in the arm. The rest of you watched with blank expressions while your eyes sparkled with excitement. 

"WHOA JOTARO HAS A PURPLE PUNCHY GHOST MAN!" You shouted after seeing Star Platinum in all his glory. 

"Heh better than Watermelon bastard" Joseph laughed and he looked down at his hand " I wouldn't want to think you would call my stand Y/N"

"MR JOESTAR!" Avdol turned his head and his eyes widened.

"What? Oh come now Avdol, for once I wasn't thinking anything like that" the old man chuckled and slapped his friend on the back.   

You pouted your lips and folded your arms at him reminding you what you called Kakyion's stand earlier that night. Avdol smiled and said his good nights before heading to his tent, Jotaro huffed at the Frenchman and sat by the river. Polernarff pouted and also headed to his tent, Joseph sat by the campfire having a cup of tea and reading some newspapers and Kakyion walked by the river to wash up the dishes. 

You smiled and approached Jotaro you placed your hand on his shoulder "Hey um Jotaro, thanks for looking after Scorpi and of course getting us away from Mariah" 

"Scorpi?" He questioned

"Oh yeah sorry my car that's what I named her. You see I got her a few months ago, it was a gift from Tamsin for my birthday. Anyway I'm heading off to bed." You smiled at him.  

"No worries, ah I see now, goodnight Y/N, see you in the morning" He walked to the tents as you walked to Kakyion.

"Hey, I was gonna head off to bed now just to let you know." You blushed and looked down. 

"Ah of course goodnight,  I might as well retire also, here let me walk you there." He smiled and stood up and walked beside you to the tents. 

Joseph looked up from his newspaper, noticed you both heading to your tents and he had a massive grin on his face and noticed Iggy.

"Oi Iggy c'mere, you want 2 boxes of coffee gum dont ya?" Joseph waved the boxes at Iggy and he came over and ran around in circles, trying the odd time jumping for them but missing.

"Well I need you to do a favour for me, all you have to do is......" He explained to the dog.

 

***The next Morning***

Joseph gathered most of the camping stuff and popped it in the boot with Avdol helping. 

"Alright everyone here's the plan. We head for Cario. It shouldn't take more than a few hours to get there, we can stock up on supplies and grab a bite to eat at one of the cafe's and then we go from there. Is everyone happy with this plan?" Joseph stood with his hands on his hips as he gathered you all around.

You all nod in agreement and head for the car. You were in the driver's seat with Kakyion next to you in the passenger seat, behind you was Avdol, Polnareff and Joseph in the middle and Jotaro sat behind Kakyion. Iggy of course sat on Joseph's knee and fell asleep. The gents in the back were a little squished but they didn't mind, they had been in worse conditions before. 

It was about half an hour into the drive and the whole car was in silence that's when Polnareff spoke up. 

"Say Y/N do you have tunes or something? It's quiet too quiet for my liking." He asked as he shifted forward off his seat peering over your shoulder. 

"Polnareff sit down! You'll cause an accident." Avdol huffed at him and pulled him back down. 

"Well I do have a few cassette tapes... hmm let me see..." You leaned into the car door pocket and had a rummage about and you felt one of the tapes. "Ah this one will do!"

You popped it into the build in radio and rewind it back to the start, you adjusted the volume and then the opening of the 'Transformers 86' movie soundtrack's Dare started to play. Joseph's face lit up with glee and he clenched his hands and sat forward while Iggy sat on Jotaro's lap.  

"OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SOUNDTRACK!" He listened to the intro feeling slightly nostalgic. 

When it got to the  chorus both you and Joseph sung the lyrics with Kakyion also joining it towards the end. You smiled brightly as you all sang along.

"Dare - dare to believe you can survive

You hold the future in your hand

Dare - dare to keep all of your dreams alive

It's time to take a stand

And you can win, if you dare" 

Jotaro shook his head knowing that his grandpa was a massive nerd and started to drift off to sleep. Avdol pulled out a book and started to read and Polnareff leaned over his shoulder and read with him. 

As the song faded another one started to play and it was Dare to be stupid by Weird Al Yankovic.

"OH JOTARO! THIS IS THE SONG I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT THE ONE BY AL YANKOVIC!" Joseph got excited and woke up Jotaro with excitement. 

He glared at his grandpa and shoved his shoulder and got comfy again and closed his eyes. "I dont care, I'm trying to, fucking, sleep here, old man!"

You looked into the mirror and started to sing "Put down your chainsaw and listen to me

It's time for us to join in the fight" 

Joseph continued on "It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys

It's time to let the bedbugs bite"

Joseph pointed to Kakyion and he carried on "You better put all your eggs in one basket

You better count your chickens before they hatch"

You carried on afters "You better sell some wine before it's time

You better find yourself an itch to scratch"

Joseph got ready for his line "You better squeeze all the Charmin

you can while Mr. Wimpole's not around

Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan"

Kakyion grinned and when it got the chorus  you all sung in harmony 

"Dare to be stupid

Come on and dare to be stupid

It's so easy to do

Dare to be stupid

We're all waiting for you

Let's go" 

Then at the instrumental part Joseph started to air guitar and at the end of the song you all laughed, you loved that you all started to bond and you were really enjoying their company more and more.

***Meanwhile in Cario***

Hol Horse had bumped into  Zenyatta and Mondatta and had agreed to patrol around Cario to get rid of the Joestars before they could reach Dio.  

Hol Horse suggested they went to a cafe in the middle of the city centre to plan a strategy . Even though he wasn't supposed to, he revealed what his stand was and in turn the brothers revealed what theirs was. 

Jackpot the cowboy thought, he had an evil glint in his eyes. "Don't worry boys let me take care of drinks. I'll be right back just you get yourselves nice 'n' comfy."

"Mondatta, isn't it nice that Mr Hol Horse is treating us to a drink, how lucky are we little bro." He smiled at his sibling. 

Mondatta looked up with a grin "Your right big bro nothing will stop us, we are the super lucky brothers!" 

Hol Horse rolled his eyes at their exchange from the edge of the bar as he collected the drinks, he smirked and pulled a small bottle from one of his pouches.

"Heh looks like big bro is going to have a date with the toilet, muh ha ha ha" He smugly chuckled to himself as he opened the bottle of laxatives and poured some into Zenyatta's coffee. He walked back to the table with a fake smile on his face.

"Ah gentleman a toast to our new found friendship, for you Zenyatta a coffee and for the squirt a nice and freshly made strawberry milkshake." He brought his bottle of beer to their cups and clinked them against each other. 

They all started to make small talk until half an hour later Zenyatta held his stomach and started to sweat a lot.  [*Rhapsody of Brothers totally plays at this point*] 

"Oh good lord, listen, little bro you, GO, with, with Hol horse, and keep an eye, ON, on those nasty Joestars, if, IF, you see them, you hear, OH, no, EXCUSE ME!" He quickly explained while holding both his stomach and his butt, he then rushed past an old lady and ran for the toilets at the back of the cafe. "OOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOO!" 

Hol Horse smugly grinned and glared at the younger brother, just as he was about to run away he grabbed his scarf and then held him with the scruff of his neck "Now you listen here you little shit, we are gonna team up see, and if you want the cure for your dear brother you better keep me from getting hurt with that book of yours, kay?" 

Mondatta nodded a lot and was nervous and scared by his actions. 

***Meanwhile back on the outskirts of Cairo city centre***

You were nearing the city centre and everything was becoming more familiar again. You drove along the river taking in the boats coming up to the dock nearby. 

"We are almost there everyone." You smiled as you had a slight glance at Kakyion playing with his hair.

"Oh that is good to know my butt is getting numb, and I'm feeling very peckish, oh yes I am" Joseph tipped his hat up to see better and looked down at Iggy. 

Iggy raised his lip as if he was grinning and started to stretch his little legs and then he let out a huge fart in Jotaro's face waking him up and then jumped on Polnareff and bite his hair and then wiggled his butt in Avdol's face before jumping out the window. The smell was unbearable 

"Damn mutt!" The Frenchmen raised his fist.

"UGH! You smelly dog!" Jotaro gripped  Kakyion's headrest as he watched Iggy grin at him in the street. 

Avdol sighed and pouted "What did I ever do to you Iggy?" 

You stopped the car as everyone in the back was getting restless at Iggy's actions and the smell started to linger. 

"We will go on ahead, let's all meet up by the market stalls by the cafe. See you in a bit" Joseph quickly ran after the others chasing Iggy down the side streets. 

You shook your head and found a parking area and parked by the wall. You walked around the back of your car and went into the boot and rummaged about for the lemon air spray you found and opened the backdoor with Kakyion leaning against the closed passenger door watching you lean in and spray the back seats.

"I don't know what that was all about but, I feel Mr Joestar was behind that little stunt" You sprayed more making sure every part of your car smelt amazing again. 

"Hmm I agree with you, though that's Mr Joestar for you, he's always up to something" He shrugged but looked in at you checking you were okay. 

He offered his hand as you edged closer to the door of the backdoor and you blushed and slowly reached for his hand.

"I won't bite, I promise" He chuckled softly. 

With your face beaming red you took his offer and placed your hand in his and he helped you out the car. You stood next to him with your keys in your hand you quickly went to lock up. 

"Lets go, shall we Kakyion." You took a deep breath to remain calm as his soft lavender eyes looked down at you. 

***About 20 or so minutes later***

Polneraff got held up by Hol Horse with the barrel of his gun pointing at the back of his head, Mondatta was hiding under a box and waited for his moment to escape. 

The other Stardust Crusaders got curious why Polnareff was taking so long to come back to them. It was then both you and Kakyion reached the narrow alley that led to the market stalls by the cafe.

"Stay close Y/N" Kakyion walked in front and held out his hand for you to hold. 

***End of part 1***

Chapter 4 Part 2

[sablesides-writing-corner]

cinderella, prinxiety? :))

"Virgil! Clean these dishes!"

"Virgil! Why havent you made breakfast yet!"

On and on and on went the nonsensical commands, pounding in Virgil's head like the inssesent beating of a drum. His stepbrothers had to be the absolute worst people he'd ever met, and his stepfather didnt fare any better. Always yelling at him to do one thing or another, he was terrified of even slightly screwing up. Virgil crawled out of bed with a groan and walked over to his dresser. After adorning what his stepfather deemed 'proper attire' he walked down stairs and grabbed a broom from the closet. He was halfway through work when his stepfather trudged down the stairs, clearly annoyed. Virgil braced himself, but as usually nothing could prepare him for his stepfather's wrath.

"You missed a spot." said the man.

Virgil's face stung, but he simply smiled and nodded "Yes father, sorry father," he said quietly, earning him another slap on the wrists. He tried not to flinch and continued cleaning the floors. He waited until he heard his stepfather's footsteps fade into the distance before letting silent tears fall down his face.

"Are you actually crying right now?" said someone behind him with a laugh. He turned to face his first stepbrother, Presley. "Goods gods you ARE pathetic." he said, stepping down the stairs, making sure to leave as much of an impression on them as possible, more work for Virgil he supposed.

"What do you require, Presley," said Virgil, his voice once again abnormally formal.

"Oh cut the crap you sad excuse for a human, Izzet and I require your assistance, our rooms are simply DREADFUL and we cant be expected to clean it all up!" Presley said, not even attempting to hide the smirk on his face, nor the menacing glint in his eyes. Virgil supposed the brothers had caused the mess themselves.

"Very well, I'll get to it as soon as I finish up with this," Virgil said, gesturing to the floors. His brother didnt seem pleased, he stormed back up the stairs, what Virgil suspected was mud splattered across them.

It took him what seemed like decades to finish every task assigned to him, every time one was accomplished his step family seemed to find another for him to do. By the time he got back up to his room in the attic it was already night fall. The mice and rats that lived in the floorboards had gathered around the fireplace, and proceeded to burrow into his apron as soon as he sat down.

Virgil didnt pride himself on his voice, he didnt pride himself on much of anything. But for a man who slept so near soot and ashes, his voice could have been enough to cause the heavens themselves to weep. Any chance he could find to sing, there he was, the words ready on his tongue for even the smallest moments of joy. The rodents adored it, which Virgil supposed was an improvement over what he could expect if his step family ever discovered this particular talent of his.

So Virgil sang, he poured his heart out for only the mice and rats and bugs to hear, blissfully unaware of the open window, and the runaway prince who had been out for a night time voyage, just close enough to hear the sweet music as it travelled through the air.

Virgil awoke the next morning to a loud knock on the door.

"Sort through the mail, we're busy," said his father. Virgil stood up and dusted himself off. Soot still clinged to his hair as he approached the door. He picked up the letters. As he sorted through them he noticed a very important looking wax seal on one, the royal crest.

"What's that? Who's that one for?" said Presley over Virgil's shoulder, before snatching the letter out of his hands and rushing off. Virgil followed after him and entered the kitchen doorway just in time to hear Presley and Izzet's shocked gasps upon viewing the contence.

"A ball?"

"The prince?"

"A husband?"

Virgil listened intently on the conversation, the gears in his head whirring and sputtering.

He finally spoke up when the conversation seemed to lull to a stop, "Do you think, I could go?" the glare his father gave him could've killed him in an instant, and the small smile that traced his face soon after offered no consolation.

"Of course, Virgil, as long as you remember to finish all your chores and find a suitable outfit, then you can go to the ball," he said, almost growling. Izzet and Presley exchanged looks, dumbstruck, until their thick skulls finally processed the sentence, then they broke into cruel smiles.

The demands started almost immeadietly, and they went on for eons, sometimes Virgil would complete the same task multiple times because something had gone wrong the moment he left the room, the poor boy felt as if he might explode at any moment.

The day finally ended, and Virgil hadnt found a single thing to wear, he hadnt had the time, nor the energy. He stumbled up to his room, ready to give up on any hope of being happy again in his life, but upon opening the door he was greeted with an unexpected surprise. A black suit with a purple ombre cape was set up on a mannequin in the room, the rats and mice were skittering around the room, appearently working further on the garment. Virgil felt tears in his eyes, but this time they were not sorrowful.

"You guys did all this for me?" he said to the small creatures scattering about the floor. They all looked up at him as if to respond with a yes, Virgil smiled. "Thank you, so much, I only hope its enough," said Virgil, before collapsing onto the bed.

He awoke the next day with a new found confidence, cape billowing behind him as he rushed down the stairs to join his father and brothers. But they looked absolutely appalled at the sight of him. Within mere seconds, the outfit his friends had probably worked so hard to get him, was reduced to scraps, his stepfamily cackling and snarling at him all while they ruined what he felt had been his only shot at happiness. He watched them leave for the ball, tears drenching his face. He walked out into the gardens and sat under a tree, the familiar feeling of emptiness washed over him.

"Why are you crying kiddo? Shouldn't you be at the ball?" said a voice Virgil didnt recognize. He looked up only to be faced with a short man with round glasses almost as big as his face.

"I cant go, I have nothing to wear and no way to get there, it's not like the prince would want anything to do with me Anyways, and dont try to tell me I'm wrong, I'll bet you barely even know me." said Virgil, the words burned like acid as they fell from his mouth.

"Nonsense! I'm your fairy godfather! I should think I know plenty of things about you!" said the man.

Virgil's eyes widened "Well what do you expect me to do? I cant fix this. . ." he sighed.

"Bring me a pumpkin, some mice, and a frog," said his fairy godfather. Virgil got up and completed the strange requests.

The fairy godfather took out a wand and began waving it over the various items, Virgil watched in awe as his mice turned into horses, the frog into a man, and the pumpkin into a carriage.

"Now, what to do about that dress," said his godfather. He pondered Virgil's tattered outfit for a moment before his eyes caught a sudden spark.

A flash of light and feeling of warmth enveloped Virgil, he let himself be consumed by it, an excited smile plastered across his face. When the light subsided Virgil was dressed in a black hooded dress-shirt, purple pants, and what seemed like black glass shoes.

"Now, all of this disappears at midnight, so you best leave before then, now hurry- go enjoy yourself," said his godfather, urging him into the carriage.

Virgil spent the entire ride to the castle marvelling at the scenery, and the view of the castle itself left him speechless.

Virgil had been off to the sidelines, singing to himself out in the castle gardens as he admired the flowers, when a hand fell over his own.

"You have a beautiful voice, you know," said the voice. Virgil turned around and was greeted by a man in a white and red suit embroidered with what may have been the brightest gold he'd ever seen. The man's eyes met Virgil's and he gave him a devilish grin.

"I was just uh, taking a break, I'm not the beat at parties," said Virgil, trying to sound calm.

The mysterious man took him by the hand, "Then perhaps you wouldnt mind dancing alone with me out here? It's much less noisy and crowded than the throne room," Virgil simply nodded and allowed himself to be lead into a slow dance, the world seemed to melt away as he and the man stared into eachothers eyes. His were so full of light and happiness, Virgil felt as if even the sun couldnt outshine them.

He was snapped out of his trance by the sudden chiming of a distant clock. It was then that he'd realized just how long they'd been dancing.

He broke away from the man's grasp "I have to go- I'm sorry-" before the man could even open his mouth Virgil had disappeared into the throne room again. He raced down the stairs, only to be momentarily inconvenienced by the loss of a shoe.

Virgil managed to get home with few issues, and he stayed up in his room until he'd fallen asleep, hoping to avoid awkward questions from his stepfamily.

He awoke the next day to the shadow of his stepfather looming over him- holding, to Virgil's horror, the second glass slipper. "Can you explain, why the day after an announcement about a mysterious young man with black glass slippers running away from the ball, I find this in your room?" he said, a wicked smile appearing on his face.

"I-I didnt- I'm not-" Virgil tried to explain himself but the words got caught in his throat.

"The prince is looking for the owner of this shoe, and I for one dont think it should be you that he finds with it. So while your brothers will be trying for a prince, you will stay up here." said his stepfather, walking out of the room with the shoe. Virgil tried to race after him, only to hear the door lock click. He collapsed to the floor in shock, his hand clutched to his chest. Tears ran down his face, he'd been dancing with the prince all night and hadnt even realized? He'd truly been that close to happily ever after and he'd thrown it away?

Virgil crawled over to the window and rested against it. Once again he began to sing, he heard the doors open downstairs, heard his father and brothers talking to the prince and his servants downstairs. He sung louder to drown them out, until he was so caught up in singing he could barely hear his own thoughts.

The thing that did, however, break this trance, was the opening of the door and the protests from his stepfather. Virgil snapped his head away from the window and stared at the sight before him, the prince, eyes wide, a smile broad across his face, standing in front of him.

"Its you. . . you were the man from last night. . . I recognize your singing," he said. Virgil turned to the window, he hadnt noticed that someone had opened it, the mice in the corner of the room seemed to nod at him as he stood up. He approached Prince Roman with hesitation, until the royal took him by the waist and held him closer than he'd every thought royalty would keep a simple servant. "I want those men in jail, they clearly havent been treating him properly," said Roman, waving a hand at Virgil's stepfamily.

"N-no, even they dont deserve that- perhaps exile would work better?" Virgil said, he had no idea why, he knew the three were guilty, but Roman simply smiled and nodded.

The castle seemed even more brilliant now than it had the night of the ball, perhaps it was Virgil's newfound happiness, or seeing Roman smiling at him as though he were a priceless gem. But for once in his life, Virgil felt happy, and he was never letting that feeling escape him again.

[weirdstuff-blog]

Me and stephanie dancing up Christian

"ROB SIMS presents KellyMBentley.Com in 2008! "

Female 26 years old ATLANTA, Georgia United States

Last Login: 4/13/2008

I love models and everything to do with the glamour industry. I am seriously into photography. I love to dance and I am currently learning to sing. I am crazy in love with my American Pitt Bull Terrier "Layla" and I love spending time with her playing freesbee with her and my loving fiance Django. I love fast cars preferrably American Muscle. My favorite would be a Trans Am. Long live Cassondra

Music I love all types of music, but my favorite is Classic Rock including the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Doors, Def Lepard, AC/DC, Primus, Nine Inch Nail all kinds of artists. I love dancing to hip-hop, but I really don’t have any favorites.

Movies I love chic flicks and cartoons. I’ve never really been a fan of horror flicks. My favs include Notebook, Ratatouille, Sweet Home Alabama, Youve Got Mail…you get where this is going.

Television I love reality shows. I was on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show but I hated it. My favorites shows include Pussycat dolls, ANTM, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, Rock of Love, Make me a Supermodel….well all of them except American Idol…hate that shit!!

Books I dont read anything but war books and Cosmopolitian magazine. Oh yea and the Bible of course. Heroes All of our American Military men and women especially those close to me….Andrew Goldman, Jason Edmondson, Chris Willis, and my sweet uncle Kurt. Love and appreciate you guys. If you have a friend or relative serving I send me their name and I will post it here to show my appreciation.

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Details

Status: In a Relationship Here for: Networking, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Alabama Body type: Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Education: College graduate Occupation: Model

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Schools Southern Union State Community College Wadley, AL Graduated: 2002 Student status: Alumni Degree: Associate’s Degree Major: Computer Science

2000 to 2002

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Companies NOPI Motorsports Atlanta, Georgia US Nopi Chic Model

Construction Cuties Atlanta, Georgia US

M Bentley Productions Atlanta, Georgia US

The Kelly M. Bentley is Taking Over the F*cking World!

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Rob Sims and Kelly Bentley 2008 (view more)

RIDE FOR LIFE…..Relay For Life Charity Event (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 5…Thank God its Over! (view more)

National Glamour Showcase Florida (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 4 (view more)

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The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Blurbs About me: Its hard to describe myself because I am constantly changing. So to start, above all else, I am a bad ass bartender. I bartend at OPERA Nightclub here in Atlanta, Geogia. Its the biggest and hottest club in Atlanta. I also bartend at the Irish Bred Carrollton where I can fulfill my bar dancing passion to AC/DC, Buckcherry (Crazy biotch!), and Def Lepard. I love serving up cocktails with a little sassy shake some come by either place and check me out!!

Second, I am a model and one of the hottest female entrepreneurs on this planet. In modeling, I specialize in glamour, fitness, and promotional modeling. I always have something going on somewhere. I’m partnering up with NOPI as a NOPI CHIC for 2008. I love doing charity work so keep updated on my events and help us out. As an entrepreneur, I own half of a calendar production company with JM Polsfuss that is responsible for the hottest calendar coming out in 2009 Construction Cuties. Watch for it!! I also just teamed up with get this…yes…The Rob Sims….which we will have my website launched by the end of Spring to help heat up the summer for you. Also watch for all the magazine covers, layouts, spreads, etc. coming soon…I told you guys I’ll be taking over the WORLD!! Lastly, I am a regular girl that had a dream and am still forcing it to come true come hell or high water. I’m from a small town, but I’m working hard to fulfill my big city dreams as well as those of other girls who want to be models with MODELICIOUS. So if you want to try modeling, don’t listen to people when they tell you that you cant do it, they said I couldn’t, and I look at me…so don’t listen, contact me and lets see what we can do. I DONT DO ANYTHING FOR FREE….so don’t ask. I have a small network of professional models I use and promote because they have become friends. Don’t ask for my contacts, because I work hard in promoting and networking myself so why should I just hand over my hard work to you. If you want my network, you pay for my network.

THINGS YOU WOULDN’T GUESS ABOUT ME: No one would ever guess that I used to be in the Army National Guard. I used to be on Active Reserve as the RA for SFC Robert Cornett. I got out in 2005. I also used to wiegh 170 lbs. I gained a huge amount of weight when I quit drinking and smoking. Yea a lot of you thought it would never happen. I quit cold turkey and the turkey went to my ass. I lost 50 lbs. on the Subway diet. I was recently on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show on CMT and hated every minute. I also have a degree in Political Science and Computer Science with a minor in Military Science. Just some cool quirks about me. TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey Name: Kelly M Bentley Birthday: October 7th Birthplace: Anniston, Alabama Current Location: Atlanta, Georgia Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde/Brunette..hell I don’t know Height: 5’5" if I’d stand up straight Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Irish/German &..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:’ My beloved flip flops Your Weakness: Your Fears: airplanes, elevators, and scurrying vermon Your Perfect Pizza: cheese/pepperoni without any sauce Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be at 8% Body Fat by the end of the year Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I dont even know how to set that shit up… Thoughts First Waking Up: What in the hell are the Backyardigans? Your Best Physical Feature: My big ghetto booty Your Bedtime: When ever my mind decides to quit thinking Your Most Missed Memory: No clue..too much memory lost Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine free coke MacDonalds or Burger King: both are some nasty shit…I dont put it in my body! Single or Group Dates: Cant remember my last date… Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink any tea Chocolate or Vanilla: Just hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine free Coffee Do you Smoke: hell no Do you Swear: I swear I cuss too much Do you Sing: Did you catch my show? Think I’ll stick to the shower. Do you Shower Daily: more than once Have you Been in Love: Only twice for sure Do you want to go to College: Been there done that Do you want to get Married: Umm….when I’m too old to know better Do you belive in yourself: more than anyother person besides Roy Do you get Motion Sickness: Do you think you are Attractive: No but others tend to disagree Are you a Health Freak: Absolutely Do you get along with your Parents: depends on the day of the week Do you like Thunderstorms: love them Do you play an Instrument: In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: don’t drink alcohol In the past month have you Smoked: I quit when I was 20 In the past month have you been on Drugs: hell no drugs are for weak people In the past month have you gone on a Date: I havent gone on a date in the past few years In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No..I hate the mall..I’m in need of another personal shopper In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yea right…my trainer would shoot me In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don’t eat fish In the past month have you been on Stage: too many times In the past month have you been Dumped: No In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I wish In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No but someone stole two of my damned portfolios Ever been Drunk: Plastered on many occassions Ever been called a Tease: What girl hasnt Ever been Beaten up: No but I got launched off some steps one time Ever Shoplifted: no I only steal hearts How do you want to Die: at 200mph on the Autobahn What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I’m doing it but not grown up yet What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Any that don’t lie Favourite Hair Color: any that I can run my fingers through Short or Long Hair: either Height: all heights Weight: weight doesn’t matter Best Clothing Style: clothes dont make the man Number of Drugs I have taken: Don’t do drugs Number of CDs I own: not too many Number of Piercings: ears and belly button Number of Tattoos: 1 Number of things in my Past I Regret: only 1…if you know me you know what it is

CREATE YOUR OWN! – or – GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Myspace Layouts – Myspace Editor – Image Hosting

Who I’d like to meet: TO ALL MODELS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS: Now that I am partnered up with Robs Sims who is the most published photographer on the planet also owner of FitBeauties and FitModels International Magazines, photographer for Oxygen, MuscleMag, InStyle, American Curves, Maxim, FHM, Mens Health…okay I’m tired already. Too many to list. Google him for the rest…lol. Rob and I will be offering photoshoots to ambitious models with the guarantee to be published. Yes there is a catch. 1)like I said I don’t do anything for FREE 2) Neither does he 3) you have to be approved by me first. Sorry ladies…I have to be picky. Feel free to submit to me for shoots with Rob. I will be honest and give you feedback. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU PUBLICATION IN MAJOR MAGAZINES.

Posted by dcsmith2752002 on 2008-06-23 13:19:11

Tagged: , KELLY , M , BENTLEY , IN , ATLANTA , GA , NIGHT , LIFE , BASIC , BLACK , FORMAL-WEAR , AND , CASUAL , -WEAR , ATTIRES

The post Me and stephanie dancing up Christian appeared first on Good Info.

[the-marvel-imagines-blog]

Madness | Chpt. 5

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Thunder in the Rain”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 7,968

Warnings: angst (I mean, when is it not angsty?), new character alert, also some kissing :*

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: Y’all are my favorite people in the universe. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc. I love you all so much! Also, please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning.

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

As I walked away from him, a part of me hoped to hear some kind of regret in his voice or anything at all, even. Instead, I heard nothing. He was silent. Maybe I had to do what everyone had been telling me to do all along: let him go. In my heart, I knew what would have been best for me. I knew that I would have been safer and filled with less grief if I let him go and went to Midgard to be with the Avengers and her. I knew that she would undoubtedly fill the void in my heart that Loki left there, as she had been the one to fill it ever since he fell. Still, I felt responsible for him as well as the Nine Realms. I saw the damage he had done to the world we knew as our second home. His suit was black (the absence of light), gold (what had once been my favorite color), and green (his favorite color-the color of my eyes). He attacked the part of Midgard we had last been to together. It was a night of laughter and happiness for both of us and a memory that was now clouded with pain and darkness. He still used the daggers I had given to him before he left for a battle with Thor-a battle Thor talked the Allfather into keeping me out of, as I was still recovering from the last one.

A piece of me wondered if he had a reason. Maybe he truly didn’t care for me anymore, maybe he lied to me all those years, but for what? What did he have to gain from an orphan girl? He was a God, and I was just another Asgardian. There was nothing extraordinary about me. If he wanted to manipulate someone for so long, why wouldn’t he choose someone with more power? I had to believe that it was more than that. I had to believe that there was something else that I just wasn’t seeing clearly. He was still in there. The man I knew was still holding on and fighting back this new version of himself. I didn’t know what happened or what made him turn on me so quickly, but I had a few theories of my own. Perhaps he found out about my secret from Odin that day, but I still didn’t even know how Odin would know in the first place. Maybe he fell out of love with me quicker than I had ever anticipated he could. I didn’t understand, but it wasn’t for me to try to figure out in the middle of the night when I was still sick from the ale that evening.

I made my way up to the training grounds, casting the illusion just long enough to make it past the guards. Once my eyes were dried, I dropped the illusion, finally visible again. I lifted a dulled sword from the rack and walked over to one of the training dummies before taking out every ounce of anger, frustration, and pain on it. I didn’t need to build my skills with the sword anymore. However, I knew to practice regularly to stay nimble. Tonight, however, was simply to hit the dummy as hard as possible to make my muscles sore. I just wanted to make myself tired enough that I could fall asleep for the rest of my life, and if I couldn’t achieve that, I at least wanted to be tired enough that when I laid down in bed, I could fall asleep immediately. I didn’t want to think of his harsh words or the way he glared at me like it was my fault he fell in the first place. I didn’t want to think of the mistakes I had made or the grief I felt over the loss of a man who meant so much to me.

Listening to the loud crack as my sword hit the dummy over and over again helped drown out the sorrow in my heart and the voices in my head that were even more cruel than Loki could ever even hope to be. As I growled, I thought of every moment in my life that I felt anger, every moment I felt alone, every moment I felt weak. I thought of the night he told me he hated me, the fall, when I saw him on Midgard, when I left her, when Tony Stark shed a tear for me, when she cried. There were so many moments, but they all came rushing back as the wall I had built up to keep them away finally broke down and crumbled into nothing. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack and opened my eyes to see that my last swing of the sword had been too successful, as the blade lay broken on the ground.

“For a woman as peaceful as yourself, you sure like breaking swords when you’re angry,” Thor’s voice rang out from behind me.

I whipped around, surprised by his presence. I hadn’t heard him coming, and I certainly didn’t feel him because of my clouded thoughts. As soon as I looked at him, my mind quieted once more. He was a peaceful soul with eyes as deep as the oceans. He leaned against one of the pillars with his arms crossed over his chest. His robes cascaded over his broad shoulders, and he wore a slight grin upon his lips. I shook my head, dropping the handle of the sword, which would be of no more use, “I apologize if I woke you,” I murmured, attempting to walk past him. I was in no mood for speaking as my frustration had not been washed away completely.

He caught my arm before I could pass him, and as my chest continued to heave, he spoke, “you did not wake me, Lady Eva. I figured that after you visited Loki, you would come here,” he said, hinting at the fact that he already knew what I had been up to that night. My mouth gaped open as I searched for any possible explanation other than the one he proposed. Before I could lie, he continued, “my brother has been playing tricks on me since we were children. Do you not think I can tell? Plus, I’ve known you since we were children, and I knew you would go down to see him at some point,” he shrugged.

“I had to. You can be mad, you can tell the Allfather, you can do whatever you need to do, and I won’t be upset. All I ask is that you continue fighting for him the way I have,” I said, straightening my shoulders, “I will accept whatever punishment my King sees fit.”

“Your King will never know,” Thor replied in a hushed but stern voice, “I will not be speaking a word of this to my father. You did what needed to be done, something he doesn’t believe is worth the time or energy. You’ve looked out for my brother since we were kids, and I would’ve been ignorant to believe that you would just stop because of what happened on Midgard. You still see the good in him, and I admire that because I still love him just as much as you do,” he added, “how was he?”

I stepped back over to him, and he released my arm from his grasp. I motioned around the training grounds, “well, I’m out here, so it didn’t go as well as I had anticipated. He’s still hurting, and it continues to break my heart every time I see him. I can feel his pain just as I could before, but it’s amplified.I just don’t know if I can keep doing this to myself, Thor. I don’t know if I can keep trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. It would kill me to abandon him like this. His mind is chaos. He needs a moment of clarity, of peace, but...maybe I can’t give that to him,” I answered the best way I could.

“Who better to show him that moment of clarity than you?” he asked, gazing down at me with eyes that shined like the sun on my darkest day. While every other love I felt paled in comparison to that which I shared with Loki, Thor brought something else into my life, something more beautiful than life itself. He reminded me that life was not about power or status, it was about living. He had a love for all living things that matched my own, and I loved him all the more for it. Thor never pushed me away, “you have done so much for him, Eva. You may not think you’ve done enough, but you’ve done more than everyone else put together. You have sacrificed more than anyone else. All I know is that you need to take fate into your own hands sometimes. Maybe you find that you don’t want to wait for cooperation from Loki or the Allfather. All I know is that you have allowed others to control your destiny for too long, and it’s time for you to take your control back,” he added, “and if you need to talk or cry or scream, you know that I’m always here.”

My eyes filled up with tears, and I pushed them back, having cried more than enough over the situation. It felt like I couldn’t stop since the fall. It was that moment that I made the promise to myself: I would be weak no longer. I would weep over my situation no longer. I could mourn for the man Loki once was or give him no other option other than to accept my help. As my chest continued to heave due to the unchecked frustration, I grabbed the back of Thor’s neck and attacked his lips with my own. It was the only thing that felt right. It only lasted for a second before the shock forced him away from me, and he held me at a short distance. He cleared his throat, color filling his cheeks, “why did-what are you...we can’t do this when you’re still a bit drunk, Eva. I don’t know if this is you or the ale from earlier, but...you aren’t in the right state of mind for this right now,” he noted, chuckling to lighten the mood.

“Does that really matter anymore?” I asked, closing the space between us once more, and he allowed me, “I want this. Do you want this?” I asked, gazing up into his eyes.

He sighed, “you know I do, and you know I’ve wanted this for a long time. There’s a reason I haven’t done anything since we were young, though, Eva. You belong with Loki, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I love both of you too much to ruin what you have,” he whispered, his arm snaking around my waist, telling a very different story than the one spilling from his lips.

“What do you think you would be ruining? The rubble of our love? Do you think you can shatter heart we shared anymore? Could you kill a flower that was already dead?” I asked, realizing that, while I loved Loki more than life itself, he loved me no longer, “I will love your brother until the day I die, but he has hurt me so much, I think I deserve a moment of happiness. I deserve to remember the sweetness of love, which is something I have forgotten the taste of for so long. Remind me...please,” I begged, grasping onto his robes in a desperate attempt to let him know that I would not hold anything against him.

He searched my eyes for any hesitation that could have been lingering there, but he found none. He found only loneliness and grief. Perhaps he felt sorry for me, or perhaps he was giving into urges that had lain dormant since our childhood. Either way, he kissed me. I threw my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist, grunting lightly when he pressed me against the pillar he had been leaning on only moments ago. His lips were smoother than I had remembered them, and I could feel the areas he bit when he was nervous. As his left hand grasped my thigh, offering me an extra level of support aside from the pillar, his right hand steadied my face as he kissed me with more passion than I’d ever anticipated.

To my disapproval, his lips departed from mine, and he began to sprinkle kisses along my jaw and down to my neck, a place Loki always loved. As I squeezed my eyes shut, I forced the thought of him from my mind and focused on Thor. When he grazed his teeth against my neck, I arched my body into his, feeling a shiver run through me. As I arched into him, his arms wrapped around my body, squeezing me against him hard enough for me to feel every muscle and every crease even through the clothes. For the first time in such a long time, I felt small in someone’s arms. Aaldir, Hjalmar, and Loki always made me feel that way, like I never needed to worry when they were around. However, she had the opposite effect on me. I was the one to make her feel small, the one to protect her. Ever since her, I had not felt like the small one until now.

With one arm still draped over his shoulder, balancing myself, I grabbed his face with my other hand and turned his head so that he was looking into my eyes. I saw joy and desire and so much anticipation. I pressed my lips to his once more before pulling away and trailing kisses along his defined jaw and down to his neck. His hold on me tightened as I ran my lips along a sensitive spot. As I kissed him, he walked us down the hallway toward his chambers. He opened the doors with his back and shut them with his foot. When we were finally in the comfort of his room, he peeled me off of him and pushed me down onto the bed. I chewed on my bottom lip and laughed as his eyes scanned over my body.

Before I could react or speak, he joined me on the bed, nestling his body between my legs and proceeding to kiss me once more. As soon as I felt his warmth, Loki’s face flashed behind my closed eyes. I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, but it was like he could feel my hesitance. He pulled away from the kisses and pushed himself off of me in an attempt to figure out where he had gone wrong. I shook my head, trying to collect myself, but I was failing miserably. The promise I made to myself such a short time ago was already being broken as I began to cry, “I’m sorry, Thor. I’m sorry,” I broke down, hiding my face in my hands. I felt so much guilt in that moment, so much anger at myself for being so stupid as to believe that I could just replace the love I received from Loki.

As soon as I began to cry, Thor crawled over to me and wrapped me up in his strong arms, “I know that you don’t want to hear this right now, but as your friend, I need to say it,” he stated as my body quivered and trembled in the arms of the man I wished I was meant to be with. If I was destined to be with Thor, my life would have been so much easier because he would have loved me from the very beginning until the very end. I wouldn’t have felt this pain. Maybe I was just cursed, though. Maybe it was my fault that Loki was hurt the way he was. Maybe I was at the center of his pain. Before my mind could continue down the darkened trail any further, Thor spoke, “I love you, Eva. I have loved you since before I can remember, and I’ve never stopped loving you. For a long time, I wished that you chose me instead of Loki. I wished that you would find happiness with me, but I always knew that you two were meant for each other. Even though it kills me to say it, you and I don’t belong together. You belong with Loki. You always have. And I can’t let my love for you ruin your relationship anymore than it already has,” he said, grief clear in his deep voice.

I shook my head, wiping my tears away as I found the strength to gaze up at him, “you didn’t ruin our relationship, Thor. You had nothing to do with this,” I murmured.

He sighed, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

*Thor’s POV*

I had been more surprised that she stayed after I told her the story of that day, more surprised than I was that she didn’t try to hit me. Instead, we shed tears together, and I sat with her until she fell asleep. After I told her what happened and apologized profusely, she lessened my guilt by being adamant about how it wasn’t my fault. Still, I could see the pain the truth brought her. She was heartbroken, and she went to sleep that way. A piece of me wished I had kept it from her, but it had been two years of her questioning why Loki turned his back on her, and I knew the truth.

Unable to sleep, I found myself with Heimdall in the Bifrost. Though even looking at the Bifrost brought Eva a sense of misery, she spent much time in the very spot I was standing, and I knew that it was because the her fear and sadness over that fateful day paled in comparison to love she had for the Midgardians and...her. She asked about them often, and Heimdall would always fill her in on the health and well-being of each of them. She was always the most concerned about Tony, the two of them having a special connection that I could not understand. Steve also held a special place in her heart, which I could understand much more. He was a soldier and always put the needs of everyone else above his own. He didn’t like to fight, but he did so that others could know peace. Eva did the same.

As I stood next to Heimdall, staring out at the stars, I felt his gaze shift over to me for a fraction of a second, “you told her,” he noted, clearly having cast his gaze upon us when he felt her distress. The two of them were connected the same way her and I were connected. It paled in comparison to Loki’s connection to her, but we could feel when something wasn’t quite right.

I nodded my head, “I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t keep it from her any longer. She deserved to know the truth,” I insisted, feeling guilty that I brought her to an even deeper level of grief but feeling hopeful that it would help her see the truth, that she had done nothing wrong, “she’s become far more destructive since Hjalmar’s death, and I sensed that she was spiraling. She’s lost so much. She blames herself for Hjalmar’s death, and she blames herself for Aaldir’s sorrow. She blames herself for Loki’s turn and believed it to have been her fault, like she could’ve stopped him from wreaking havoc on Midgard. She had every right to know the truth,” I added

“You are not wrong,” he stated, gazing back out at the stars, “she sacrificed so much for Loki, but I fear that she will now try even harder to free him, even if it means committing treason. She has no reason to show the Allfather anymore respect, for she now knows that he played a pivotal role in pushing your brother over the edge,” he added, and I gazed over at his solemn expression. He lowered his grief-stricken eyes, “I fear for her safety if she tries to disobey the orders of the King.”

“You have my word that I will do everything in my power to keep her from doing anything reckless, but she has never listened to me the way she listened to Hjalmar,” I said, thinking of one of my dearest friends, “how is he?” I asked, hoping for some words of comfort about Hjalmar’s new home in Valhalla.

Heimdall sighed, “I...cannot see him,” he confessed, hesitant to speak the words to me. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused as to how the gatekeeper and the guardian of the Nine Realms could lose track of someone. Before I could ask any questions, he turned his haunting gaze upon me, “I have searched for him, hoping to regale Eva with some stories of him when she came; however, I have not found him. I have searched every realm, every planet, every moon. I have searched the entirety of Valhalla, and I even looked for him in the Realm of the Dead. Still, I have found nothing,” he said, turning back to the stars, “I suggest keeping this between us for the time being. There is no need to put her through anymore pain right now,” he stated, strongly.

I nodded my head, “but what if she comes to you and asks about him?”

He frowned, the mere thought of it bringing a sour taste to his mouth, “then I will be forced to break the heart of a princess.”

*1 week later*

After another night spent watching over Eva and getting barely any sleep, I found myself standing beside my father, the man who was the cause of so much of her grief. She knew it now. She knew what he had done, and while I was surprised that she didn’t hate me for the role I had to play in Loki’s downfall, I was unsure of how generous she would be with my father. The two of us watched her as she practically danced around the training grounds with Sif and Ephinea. She hated fighting, but there was a side of her that came out when she fought that I had never seen before. She was skilled in battle the way no other man or woman could ever even hope to be. She blocked the attacks from each of the goddesses, and the two of them pulled no punches. Sif and Ephinea never went easy on Eva, so for Eva to hold her own against the Goddess of War and the Goddess of Strength, respectively, said so much about her skills.

As gracefully as she blocked what would have been a “finishing blow” from Ephinea, she began to take the offensive, swinging the dulled swords and moving like the ocean. I had gotten the chance to see her on the battlefield so many times throughout my life, and it always left me in awe. She had a plethora of her own weapons, many of which Aaldir had crafted for her or helped in the crafting process. He had given her two short swords that she used on occasion, and he also gave her the greatsword she used most of the time. Loki had gifted her a set of daggers, which were delicately crafted but stronger than anyone could anticipate due to their beauty. She danced around Sif and Ephinea, fighting both of them and successfully knocking them down and finishing them. After her success, she helped them back up onto their feet before starting again. I glanced over at my father, “she has grown far more skilled in the art of battle than even you could have anticipated,” I smiled, gesturing to her.

He nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips underneath his beard, “if this is how you plan to sway my mind on the matters she has brought up time and again, it will not work,” he reminded me.

I shrugged my shoulders, “it wasn’t my intention, but it would’ve been nice,” I stated, gazing upon the girl who was so strong but so broken, “she has a point, you know...about Loki,” I murmured, wanting my words to be between us. I watched as his eyebrows raised in shock, which was understandable as I had always been fairly quiet on the matter, never explicitly taking anyone’s side, “I don’t believe you to be delusional, which is why I think you know-as well as she does-that Loki doesn’t belong in the dungeons. He is far more dangerous around people who think like him. His mind was corrupted far more after he fell. Even if we could get him back to the way he was before, when he was only trying to take over the throne, instead of killing hundreds of innocent people on Midgard, it would be better than leaving him down there,” I explained, hoping that he would listen to me with an open heart and open mind, unlike when he listened to Eva make the same case about Loki.

He gazed over at me, the icy blue eye as solemn as ever, “so, you are proposing the same thing? I release Loki into Eva’s care, knowing that he is a weakness for her? Knowing that she could never do what needed to be done if it came to it?” he asked, “I simply implore you to think through every scenario,” he added, sensing that he had offended me.

I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing that he was not completely sincere, “no, you are asking me to doubt her. You are asking me to trust her less, but you don’t know her the way I do. You didn’t see her on Midgard the way I saw her. You have no idea what she has done-the sacrifices she has made-for the good of the Nine Realms, for the good of Asgard. You don’t see what she has given up, but I have,” I growled under my breath, angry that he would try to plant the seed of doubt in my mind.

He shook his head, “I do not wish for you to doubt her, but I do wish for you to look at this from a place of objectivity. If you did, you would have the same doubts I do,” he replied, a voice as calm as the breeze that morning.

“I can look at this objectively, and that’s why I believe she could take on this task. While we cannot go back and rewrite the past, she can turn the tides in our favor. If she were somehow able to turn Loki back to our side, think of what our strength could be with an ally like him! We would be much stronger with him as our ally than with him as our enemy,” I exclaimed, gesturing out at her, “look at her, Father! Truly see her for what she is! She’s no goddess, but she possesses the same skills as one. I don’t think this is coincidence. I truly believe that she is meant to be much more than another Asgardian woman.”

“You have much to learn about her, my son,” he frowned, trying to force a smile and failing. I watched as the look in his eye became distant, like he was revisiting a memory that brought him pain. He tried to push it away, but it lingered there.

I shook my head, “I know all there is to know about her. I know her better than I know myself most of the time,” I chuckled, gazing out at the woman I was in love with. For a long time, I fancied Ephinea and Sif. The two women were stronger than anyone gave them credit for, but I couldn’t talk to them the same way I could talk to Eva. Eva was just...special. I knew every little thing about her, even though I was sure my brother knew far more, things I couldn’t even imagine. I glanced back up at my father, “there’s nothing I don’t know,” I assured him, thinking of the many secrets she had hidden from him, secrets he would never even know.

“There is so much you don’t know about her, so much that you need to know,” he said, a sad smile spreading across his lips as he gazed out at her once more before stepping away from the railing and turning to face down the hallway, “walk with me and learn,” he motioned, and I obeyed, falling in step with him and casting one final glance back at Eva. Once we were far enough away from the prying eyes and ears of everyone else, he began speaking, slowing his pace, “before you or I, before my father and his father before him, Asgard was created. Where once there had been nothing, we received a land of beauty, peace, and salvation. This was the place where the Asgardians could call home, a place that was more beautiful and rich with life than any other, and we took it all for granted,” he explained.

“The land began to dry up. Where there had once been lush forests and beautiful mountains in the distance, it was barren. The Asgardians who lived her long ago took from the world but never thought to give back. They built this city upon her natural beauty, hiding the plentiful gifts she bore to them. The creeks and streams began to dry up. People believed that it was the world’s way of grieving. She had always provided for them, always gave more of herself than they could possibly take, but they did not rejoice as their ancestors once did. They took the gift of life for granted, and they took this realm for granted. They did not thank the world for her blessings, and they did not live their lives the way we were meant to,” he continued.

“The drought of the world continued. Food was more difficult to come by, and we were running out of fresh water. We began sending people to various realms to acquire what we needed and bring it back here. We had already stripped our world of all she had to offer, and we were doing the same with as many others as possible. Life was dwindling, and we were unsure about the future of Asgard,” he said before letting out a long sigh. When I cast my eyes over to his face, I saw that he was reliving a memory that haunted him, and a sadness came over him that I hadn’t seen before, “I had an older brother growing up, a man I’ve never spoken about, a man no one speaks of anymore,” he confessed.

I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering how it could be that an entire piece of Asgard’s history was lost to me, “I forbid his name to be spoken, and there are not many who remember him, not the way I do,” he frowned, “Cul was older, stronger, and much more capable than I was. He believed himself to be the rightful King of Asgard, and when my father-your grandfather-died, Cul took the throne for himself. My father had groomed me to take his place after he died, but my brothers and I allowed Cul to rule because of his promise to keep us as his close advisors, a promise he broke shortly after his coronation. He picked from a group of his loyal followers to be his advisors. It wasn’t until he took the throne that we saw just how twisted he was, how his desire to rule festered into a madness we had never seen before.”

As we walked into the throne room, he stopped and stared up at the golden throne for a long moment, “he ordered that we strip the other planets of their resources, and if we were met with hesitation, we were to take the resources by force. He wanted to make it clear that no one would stand in his way. A part of me wants to believe that he had good intentions, that he wanted to show the Nine Realms that Asgard was still a powerful seat. However, the more he took from other planets, the faster ours was dying, so my brothers and I did what needed to be done. We stopped him,” he said, frowning at the memory. I could tell that it brought him so much pain even recalling it, so I couldn’t imagine the pain he went through when he lived it so long ago, “there was a bloodbath in this throne room. My younger brothers fell that day along with so many others, and it came down to just Cul and I. He had sent his followers away to spare their lives because he knew I wouldn’t kill him, that I would spare his life because of the ancient rules, rules he never followed but rules I couldn’t break,” he explained, glancing back over at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, “but you broke them on that day?” I guessed, hoping it to be true.

He shook his head, a few strands of white hair falling out of place, “I couldn’t, and it wasn’t because of the ancient rules. I couldn’t kill him because he was my brother, he wasn’t the King of Asgard, not to me. I couldn’t kill him because I could still remember running around the palace with him and getting in trouble for fooling around for too long when I should have been studying battle techniques. Instead, I banished him to the Realm of Death, hoping that Death would be able to do to him what I could not bring myself to do. It was where he belonged. He delivered so many souls to Death that day alone that he deserved to face them all once more,” he said, glancing back over at the throne and narrowing his eyes, “but if I could go back with the knowledge I have now, I would have killed him when I had the chance because-”

Before he could explain his reasoning, a booming voice caused the entirety of Asgard to quake beneath our feet. It was the first time in my life I saw pure fear in my father’s eyes, “Odin!”

*Eva’s POV*

I stood in the courtyard that overlooked the Rainbow Bridge. Thor and Odin stood side-by-side in front of Sif, Ephinea, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, and I. Behind us were members of Odin’s kingsguard. While I had not wished to even wake up at all that week-let alone see the Allfather-I stood there out of the love I had for Asgard and my willingness to protect the people from any intruder, including the one that stood before us with his battleaxe strapped to his back. He stood the same height as Hjalmar once did, only slightly taller than the God of Thunder himself. The man before us all held himself like a King with his shoulder straightened and his head held high. He looked massive, like he was a force to be reckoned with. I had never met him, but he looked so oddly familiar to me, like a face I had seen only once before.

Dark brown hair that matched his short beard fell in waves nearly as long as mine, but he pulled the strands from his face and fastened them behind his head to see clearly. Even from our distance, I could see myself clearly in his piercing green eyes. Those eyes were filled with so much anger, so much hatred, but they were still so beautiful and pure...a green that matched the colors of spring. My breath hitched in my throat, and it felt like I was going to suffocate. I knew those eyes. I knew them from somewhere, and when he spoke, I began trembling with unchecked fear, “I am Ezra, son of Cul, and I have been sent here by my father, Cul, son of Bor, the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard. I have been instructed to deliver a message to the usurper, your false king,” he spat out, grimacing at Odin. I was shocked by his words, unsure whether or not they were truthful. I had never heard of Odin having any brothers aside from Vili and Ve, and neither of them had any children of their own. It was clear by the looks on the faces of my comrades that I was not the only one who was confused by his claims.

Even if he did, Odin was our King, and for an outsider to show up in Asgard and insult the throne, it was unacceptable. While I was angry at Odin for justifiable reasons, I did not hate him, and I would still fight to protect Asgard and her people. As I made a motion to step forward, Ephinea put out her hand to hold me back. When I tried to pass her still, she grabbed my arm, making her movements as small and unnoticeable as possible to keep from gaining the attention of the the outsider. She gave my wrist a gentle squeeze, trying to remind me without words that this wasn’t the right time. The small motions still pulled the attention of Ezra, and he glanced over at me in particular. His green eyes scanned over my body, and he smirked, “you’re just itching to kill me, aren’t you?” he asked before glancing back at Odin, “I see why you keep some of your best warriors chained up in the dungeons-like your son. It must be terrifying to have this one roaming around,” he said, gesturing to me.

A fury erupted in my chest as he mentioned Loki. I gritted my teeth, my chest continuing to rise and fall at an alarming rate. Still, I remained silent, not wishing to escalate the situation. Odin spoke up, “did you come here to discuss the population of Asgard’s dungeons, or do you have another motive?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. He was pulling a page out of Loki’s book, smiling in the face of danger. It was one of the things that made me love Loki even more, and it made me see Odin as so much more than I had been willing to in the past. In that moment, he became so much more three-dimensional than ever before. While he had forsaken Loki in the past and made his own mistakes, there was a piece of him that still loved the young trickster. When I saw him find his confidence the way Loki did, it made me think of the impact Loki’s actions must’ve had on the Allfather. While I wished to speak with Odin about it, I knew that this was neither the time nor the place for such discussions.

Ezra cast one more glance over at me with a smirk that made me sick to my stomach, but he turned his attention back to Odin when I grimaced at him, “my father sent me with his demands. In his exile, he has been building allegiances with many people within the Nine Realms and beyond, and I can assure you that none of them are particularly fond of Asgard. They would be willing and able to tear Asgard apart at my father’s command, but he is willing to go about this peacefully,” Ezra stated in a menacing tone.

“And what does Cul want in return for his promise of peace?” Odin inquired.

Ezra chuckled, stepping forward, “he wants the throne back, the throne you stole from him,” he growled, pointing a finger at the Allfather, “he demands you hand over the throne of Asgard, and in return, you will be exiled to the Realm of Death just like you did to him. As I see it, you have two options: you can surrender and meet his demands, which will lead to a peaceful life for your people; or, you can resist, which will lead to our return and the subsequent bloodbath that will take place. Either way, we will take the throne of Asgard, but your decision could save thousands,” Ezra said, offering Odin the ultimatum as if he was in any position to do that. He came to Asgard with no supporters behind him and threatened a King with the entire Asgardian army at his disposal.

Odin smiled at the man in front of him, and I saw the condescending undertones, causing me to smile as well. While I harbored some ill will toward him upon recent news, I could not bring myself to hate him or declare that he was a poor king. He held himself with strength and dignity, which was something that would not work in the strangers favor, “you forget the third option,” he smirked, and Ezra cocked his head, clenching his fists, “it’s where I let your armies come, and I defeat Cul just like I did all those years ago. I had no problem doing it then, and I won’t fail now. You do not look for peace, but I pity you if you try to fight us. We know much about what must be sacrificed to maintain peace, and I do not wish for a war. However, I will do what needs to be done should your father attempt to wage a war against Asgard and her allies,” he explained, “so, you can tell my brother that his proposition was met with resistance.”

Ezra chuckled, stepping even closer to Odin. As soon as he was too close, the entire army behind us drew their weapons, but Odin raised a hand, wishing to entertain the boy for even longer. I listened to the warriors lower their weapons, but they did not put them back in the sheathe. I glanced down at Thor’s hands that were balled up in fists. Ezra leaned in close to Odin and spoke, “well, I came here for your surrender, and I’m not about to leave empty-handed,” he murmured before stepping away from the two of them and pointing at me. Once more, his eyes trailed along every piece of my body before locking eyes with me, “I’ll take that one,” he dictated, closing the space between the two of us.

Before he could stand directly in front of me, Ephinea stepped between the two of us, “try to take her, and I will rip you in half with my bare hands,” she threatened, rage clear in her voice. She had always been like an older sister to me, so it didn’t surprise me that she would react like that to someone who was threatening my safety.

Ezra glanced over at her but then back at me, “call off your dog, pet,” he instructed, cocking his head to the side with a smile filled with false admiration.

I scowled at the nickname he decided to give me, and I felt a chill run down my spine at the thought that I could be traded off to ensure peace, even if that peace would be short-lived. Odin’s stunned silence was not helping ease my troubled thoughts, but I had to act with strength and grace just as I always tried to, just as my father taught me all my life. I raised my hand and rested it upon Ephinea’s shoulder as I stepped out from behind her. She gazed over at me, horrified and flustered because of my actions. She had no idea what I was planning to do or why I was planning to do it, but I offered her a short glance that I hoped would set her mind at ease. When I stepped between her and Ezra, he didn’t break eye contact with me. He smirked, one of his eyes twitching ever so slightly as he narrowed them at me.

He searched my eyes-for what, I didn’t know-and when he didn’t find what he was looking for, he grabbed my chin and brought his face impossibly closer to mine, “tell me, what is it you want, pet? Do you wish for acceptance? Strength? Power? A real family? A place where you belong?” he asked, “I’m sorry to break your heart, but you won’t find any of that here, not with the current ruler. And, what about Loki? I’m sure you want him back, too, don’t you?” he asked, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. How did Ezra know about Loki? How did he know about my deepest desires? As I stared up at him with wide eyes, terrified that he was able to pick me apart so easily. He raised his eyebrows, sympathy crossing over his face, “you have so much to learn, beautiful, and if you cooperate, we’ll give you the answers you seek and the opportunity to live out the rest of your life with Loki,” he murmured before grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling me even closer to him, “but should you fail, I will find your girl on Midgard and tear her apart in front of you just for fun!” he growled, my heart twisting and shattering into a million pieces before he pushed me down onto the ground.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Thor’s loud voice boomed, almost like thunder itself. I could barely think of anything aside from Ezra’s threat. I was paralyzed with fear at the very idea that enemies of Asgard knew about her, that they could use her against me. Thor spoke as I tried to collect myself, “you are sorely mistaken if you think we’ll just hand her over to you. Now, we have entertained this madness for long enough. If you try to take her, you will not live to see another sunrise,” Thor promised, glancing down at me and nodding his head. I knew that I would have nothing to fear with Thor by my side. Even if Odin, for some reason, wanted to send me away, Thor would betray his father just to keep me safe.

Ezra chuckled again, laughing in the face of the God of Thunder, “I haven’t seen a sunrise in nearly 300 years,” he confessed, and a piece of my heart broke for him. I couldn’t help but see small pieces of Loki in him, the anger, the pain, the hate. I had nothing to compare Ezra to, though. I knew the man Loki used to be, so I knew that pieces of him were still alive. Still, everyone could be saved, and that included the enemies of Asgard. Ezra continued, “no matter! I’m used to taking what I want by any means necessary, and I don’t lose,” he said before unsheathing his axe in one swift motion and swinging it down toward Thor.

In the split second it took Ezra to begin the attack, I jumped up to my feet and drew Hellbreaker, one of the many swords my father had helped forge for me. Right before his blade could graze my prince, I stepped in front of it, catching the handle of his battleaxe with the blade of my sword and stopping him from hurting Thor. His eyes widened in clear astonishment. I was sure someone like him didn’t anticipate anything extraordinary, especially not from the person he nicknamed “pet” only moments prior. I pushed him away from the Thor and I, “you don’t lose?” I asked, grinning up at the intruder, “well, neither do I!”

[kathillards]

misc morphicon stories

ok so i feel like i’ve talked FOREVER about all the wild shit that happened to us at morphicon (running into rangers at the car valet!! meeting chip lynn!! azim calling us his favorite ladies at the con!!) but i wanted to make a write up for all the stuff i haven’t talked about yet because i have to remember all this and i want you all to experience it too!! it was so fun oh my god if you haven’t been to morphicon... start making plans for 2020 guys it is legit INSANE best weekend of my entire LIFE

- ann marie crouch is AN ACTUAL PRINCESS SENT FROM HEAVEN we ran into her on our way back to the hotel one of the days and we were like omg it’s princess shayla we love you!! and she was so sweet and stopped and talked to us even though she was on her way out for a nap and she was in full shayla gear she looked so pretty! and we saw her on the way back too she had changed into casual clothes but still rocking it WE LOVE ONE MENTOR ONLY

- jessica rey is so funny and adorable omg we stopped by her booth to buy wild force pins (kat and abbey) bc the wf rangers come PREPARED w/ merch and nobody was there so we all just started talking to her and told her how we loved wild force and alyssa and abbey said she loved the ep where alyssa beat up the boys and she’s so cute and fun to talk to!! she told us about the shades of pink panel and i was like “is alyssa a pink or a white ranger” and she was like “lol i dont even know” also she had her handler take a staged candid of us talking to her because she loved us lmao. and then we were talking about white rangers and all of us were like “fuck tommy lives we stan alyssa only” and she laughed and immediately started telling us about what a dick jdf had been to fans the day before lmao (also for real...he’s a dick) and i was like YOU ARE THE SUPERIOR WHITE TIGER RANGER god shes so cool she loved us and didnt wanna stop talking but we had to move away cuz ppl were lining up for her behind us rip

- RICHARD AND ANGIE oh my god ok so i’d stopped and talked to angie on the first day and also the second day and i told her i’d come back later bc i wanted a photo w/ BOTH OF THEM and i did tell her how much i loved madison and vida like we are ROCCA SISTER STANS FIRST PEOPLE SECOND and shes so cute and she remembered us every time!! and then on the third day i finally got to talk to richard and he’s so sweet we talked about mystic force just at his booth for like ten minutes waiting for angie for the photo op, he asked us our fave episodes and i said dark wish and he actually remembered it so i think he might be the only actor at the con who watched his season. and we told him we loved the mystic force theme song AND HE STARTED SINGING IT. and someone had left him a green zeo figurine for...some reason and he told us “i dont even fucking know who that is” (but nicer lol he is very charming and polite) and we told him it was adam/johnny and he was like ohhhh lmao i love disney era actors not knowing SHIT about saban era. like he literally worked with johnny. i love him. AND THEN HE ASKED US ALL TO BE IN THE PHOTO and since kat paid for half of it we were like aight its a group thing and its the cutest photo i love disney era actors only

- i think i talked about meeting dwayne cameron already but god hes so sweet and i felt bad for him bc caitlin next to him had ppl she was talking to but he was all alone so me and abbey just went up and started talking to him and i told him i loved overdrive and i told him i recognized him as ethan’s bully and we talked about tyzonn and vella and just overdrive in general and hes so SWEET and he HUGGED ME SO TIGHT GOD i think he really enjoyed us like. actually loving overdrive and being able to talk about it. AND HE RAN INTO ABBEY IN CARS LAND AT DISNEY ON MONDAY AND GAVE HER ANOTHER HUG hes so cute (angie was also there with him I LOVE DISNEY ERA SOLIDARITY)

- met monica may and cerina vincent on saturday, not a lot to say bc i only talked to them a bit and took my photos but they are both so beautiful and elegant and classy and i told cerina i loved her in stuck in the middle :’) ranger ladies are so intimidatingly pretty god. also picked up this huge LEGIT spd poster and im gonna put it up in my room as soon as i can because oh my god its professional quality it looks so cool. we also talked to greg aronowitz bc kat wanted her poster signed and hes so cool we told him how much we appreciated everything he did for spd AND THAT WE WERE ON HIS SIDE ABOUT FEMALE RED FUCK DISNEY.

- god what else uhh we wandered around the toys section a lot on saturday/sunday bc we’d kinda. seen everyone. and there were a lot of panels on sunday so nobody was at the booths. i picked up those amazing rider/sentai prints from ceevee SUPER TALENTED SO WORTH IT. also got me a meteor storm figuart B) which i havent taken out of the box yet but i will

- HECTOR AT THE CAR VALET he literally announced he would be at morphicon the day before and then we saw him while waiting for our car and SCREAMED and he was so chill and cool and he came over and hugged us all hes so hot. AND THEN LATER WE RAN INTO SELWYN WARD AT THE CAR VALET and he also laughed when we squealed and came over and hugged us all and guys he smelled soooo nice i was like right up against him i could have died hes so handsome and perfect.

- we also ran into steve cardenas at the car valet like right when we were all leaving the hotel for the last time and we told him that we loved him and i said i was so excited that it was rocky coming back for the anniversary instead of fucking jason and abbey was like “justice for forever red!” and he was like hah i know right anyway every single actor in this franchise hates jdf lmao that was just the vibe of morphicon and it was valid

- fun fact we did not see jdf ONCE. not going to the con, not at the hotel, not ANYWHERE. just his crazy lines. he was like the douchebag cryptid. im glad tho he can stay that way.

- i talked about meeting andre on saturday night right??? hes so SWEET I LOVE HIM he was so happy when ben gave him his fanart of eddie and took a selfie w/ ben right then and there and also took a pic w/ me and abbey ugh i love him i told him he was so valid for being a power rangers youtuber and liking megaforce AND THAT HE’S THE BEST INTERVIEWER THEY’VE EVER HAD (i also told azim this, i’m very passionate about this subject, every other ranger interviewer sucks ASS)

- jason faunt at the elevators!! hes so sweet i told him how excited i was for the anniversary and he said yeah theres a lot more plot going on and told me to take a selfie bc they couldnt stop him here fhjggd i love that pic i love him AND THEN ALSO later we ran into NAKIA IN AN ELEVATOR AND SHES SO SWEET I SAID “WE LOVE YOU WE WATCHED ALL OF ZEO FOR YOU” and she was like aww thank you so much!! a literal goddess AND THEN LATER AS WE WERE CHECKING OUT karan walked by us to go to nakia and i was so excited i waved and said hi to her and she said “hi baby how are you” SHES SO WONDERFUL I LOVE MY MOTHERS

- i think i told the chris reid story already but like. hes so charming and was so nice even tho i interrupted his express checkout but like. i Had to tell him how valid ninja steel was i was literally like fuck the dudebros they’re so annoying you guys fighting w/ that one guy on twitter over the kcas was the FUNNIEST thing to EVER happen to this fandom and he laughed.

- we also went up to kelson’s booth later and told him how much we loved mick and all his roles!! and talked to him forever about all of them, told him we were kalish/disney era supremacists, told him HOW GOOD HE IS AT VOICE ACTING WE LOVE FLIT AND NORG IN THIS HOUSE he looked so happy :’) i feel like everyone just compliments him on boom which, no offense, but appreciate your voice actors guys. i told him we grew up on disney era and it was like new zealand only had twelve actors and he was five of them and he laughed and was like yeah. i also told him how we loved mick and brody’s father/son relationship and he was like yeah they ended up liking that a lot too which is why they sort of pushed brody’s real dad to the side so mick could shine more and i was like that’s LEGIT. i also told him the prism was brody’s mother and he agreed so that’s canon now. AND I TOLD HIM how fucking dark ninja steel went w/ his storyline literally being about slavery and human trafficking and he was like I KNOW RIGHT and we just talked about how dumb everyone is for being mean to ninja steel and chris showed up at this point too and we all laughed about it together

- ok and then tbh we just spent all of sunday loitering around the megaforce cast but it was worth it because they LOVE US oh my god we talked to them like all sunday about just. everything. azim’s gf jordan was there and she kept telling us to just stick around we talked to her a lot, we asked her about alex heartman and like where tf was he and she said he was working :( BUT AZIM AND ALEX ARE STILL CLOSE so victory. azim also told us a bunch of little stories like how he and the megaforce cast searched for a house to stay in together and ended up finding one at the base of a volcano and he and drew would race around the volcano in the mornings like the crazy people they are, we told him how much we loved andrew’s ACTING SKILLS and “do you see any tears” and he cracked up and said “they used to call me ‘freaky tiki man’ all the time because of that one line” and he told us about other fan encounters and things, we told him on saturday how we all met and became friends because we were the only ppl who loved and defended megaforce and he was SO TOUCHED HES SO SWEET GOD i would die for him. 

- cameron gave us (me and kat) all his money to buy him lunch from the food trucks and i guess just trusted that we loved megaforce so much we wouldn’t just run away with all his money????? and he was absolutely correct we got him teriyaki chicken with garlic noodles and he loved us. his handler also asked us to buy him food and gave us his CREDIT CARD dfhdgfjgdf like power rangers people are wild man. who just gives their credit card to random 20yo girls and just. trusts that they love this children’s show so much they won’t steal it??? i mean they were right and we didn’t but still. AND HE MADE ME AIRDROP one of my megaforce reaction pics to his phone because he loved it so much (it’s the one of jake and emma and orion looking super done, that i had ben redraw for me, so we showed them both pics and all three of them LOVED IT) and cameron even looked ben up on deviantart to see it fdgjkdfdg he loves usss. christina was telling us how they were talking about us at dinner and cameron told her that we were his favorite part of the con :’)) azim also mentioned that they talked about us at dinner because he said to kat “we were discussing that you look like that girl from 10 things i hate about you who was julia stiles’ best friend” LIKE IMAGINE. HAVING THE MEGAFORCE CAST. DISCUSS WHO YOU LOOK LIKE FDJGKDHFJGD they’re so cute ugh and azim and cameron hugged us all goodbye and john mark and christina said goodbye too and i just. love them. so much. 

- at one point cameron asked me and kat how old we were and she was like “twenties...as a group we are in our early twenties” and he was like “.... so old enough to know how a hangover feels right?” and we lost it dfgjfdkdgjh and i said “if i were an actor i would just be stoned the whole con” AND CAMERON JUST NODDED AGGRESSIVELY god the entire cast was definitely hungover and they’re so valid. except christina, we asked her and she said she only had a milkshake so maybe she was their designated driver. 

- andrew is so chill too (i mean i do think he is perpetually high but its fine) i think he just loves talking??? like he’s there for the babies (so many babies!! and they love troy so much!!! hes so adorable with them) and then he just wants to chill like we went up to him on sunday and he was like oh hey did you guys see this picture and he pulled out his phone and showed a pic of the megaforce cast doing a goofy zombie pose at their photo ops and he told us his backstory on each of their zombie poses like. who does this??? he’s so adorable.

- and ofc we stopped by christina again on sunday bc she’s THE FAVE and shes just so cuuute ugh and i told her i loved all asian rangers bc i am asian!! and she was like omg are you?? and i was like yeah i’m south asian and she was like omg so that’s all part of asia too OH I GET IT SO WE’RE BOTH ASIAN and i was like YES AND YOU’RE ALL MY RANGERS and she smiled at me it was like staring at the sun tbh. i love and would die for her.

- when we went to say goodbye to the megaforce cast cameron just looked at all of us standing around his booth and was like, so genuinely, “you guys are the best” and it still makes me cry thinking about it. AND AZIM’S FACE when we all said “megaforce’s defenders never surrender!” to him he had the sweetest smile god i really would take a bullet for the entire megaforce cast in a heartbeat. they are the sweetest angels & deserve the world. if any of you breathe a word wrong about jake holling in my general vicinity ever again i will fry your intestines and eat them for breakfast thank you GOODBYE.

[burialuntrue2007]

ed, eren and ya boi LING for that meme

THANKS YOU ARE THE BEST…………

seeing as ling is already done:

Ed:

favorite thing about them: i LOVE the way his prickly, edgy demeanour combines with his good heart .. like the way he tells rose she has two good legs and she needs to use them…. we truly stan a legend……. 

least favorite thing about them: honestly i find it hard to really relate to him!!! i do on some level but i havent clicked with him completely. still waiting on that eureka moment you know

favorite line: the heart made fullmetal speech because it really is totally god-tier 

brOTP: obvs al and then ling as well

OTP: i ship edwin because what kind of evil demon wouldnt but not QUITE to the level of an otp 

nOTP: none in particular idk there are always some freaky ass ships hanging around

random headcanon, unpopular opinion: i actually dont have one for these yet 😢😢😢 i am so fricking sorry but at the same time i did just watch this show like last month and for someone like eren ive had YEARS to ruminate

song i associate with them: brother by NEEDTOBREATHE

favorite picture of them: alchemy prayer hands while inside gluttony is a close second but the blue ribbon goes to:

Eren:

favorite thing about them: eren jaeger has such a precious and good heart, i dont know how to say it better than that, he’s just GUILELESS……..  even though he obviously has a lot of anger toward the titans, genuine bitterness and hatred is not natural to him, i mean it … his anger is usually so blind and one-dimensional … every time it turns out his hatred toward the titans has to be redirected toward actual human beings he balks and struggles … for someone who talks SO much smack he is incredibly humble and respects his friends/teammates supremely …… and by this point life has broken him down so bad and he just doesnt deserve it and he never did ughgughfhhgufhhghfhhg he is honestly an angel idk idk idk im not doing a great job of explaining this i just see him as such a child who talks like a grown up and who deserved to be protected :(

least favorite thing about them: n/a i am a 100% eren-jaeger-positive zone ill never say a bad word about my baby boy and no one can make me

favorite line: WHEN WE’RE BORN INTO THIS WORLD, ALL OF US ARE FREE… THE BURNING WATER, THE LAND OF ICE, ANY OF IT WILL DO: ANYONE WHO SAW THOSE THINGS WOULD BE THE FREEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. WHO’D VALUE THEIR LIFE OVER SOMETHING LIKE THAT? IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW TERRIFYING THE WORLD IS – IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW CRUEL THE WORLD IS! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

brOTP: ARMIN GHFNNG IMMA DIE THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME

OTP: HIM AND MIKASKA ARE ONE OF MY OTPS TO END ALL OTPS  UHH I DONT REALLY WRITE ANYMORE BUT I DO HAVE A EREMIKA FANFIC IVE BEEN TINKERING WITH FOR OVER A YEAR THAT I WOULD LOVE TO FINISH ONE DAY IM AT LIKE 6000 WORDS BUT ITS ONLY LIKE HALFWAY :-/ SUFFICE IT TO SAY I COULD WRITE A 12,000 WORD THESIS ON WHY THEYRE MY OTP AND I AM TRYING. also i ship him with annie like.. a Lot. so this is hard for me

nOTP: friggin eren/levi ass mfs in this fandom hes fifteen years old levi is twice his age and there are so many more things about their dynamic that would make a sexual relationship gross like the fact that eren has idolized levi for years and levi’s his military commander, its literally disgusting please get on outta here, probably my ultimate notp especially since its SO popular

random headcanon: aah i cant actually think of one!! canon kind of crept up and turned all my headcanons into aus unfortunately :-( for the longest time i had a really detailed idea of where the trio would be like 3 and 5 years after the main body of the story but since the manga timeskipped its all been rekt. i have soo much on this.. i just need to write that fic

unpopular opinion: seeing the ocean is just as important to eren’s character as it is to armin’s and ill die on this hill! ill die a thousand deaths on this hill even as hajime isayama himself approaches me with a giant anime sword on this hill. also hes the best attack on titan character

song i associate with them: the driver by bastille is the first one that comes to mind

favorite picture of them:

BABEY……… BABY BOY

[lavasplashin]

thoughtts on fullmetal alchemiste

ty cuzz!!!

god where to start um

The manga’s fucking perfect and I really wish more would be serialized as monthly 60-page chapters because reading that while it was coming out was infinitely more satisfying than ~19 pages a week!!!!! And it gives the creators so much more time to achieve what they need to!!

Story-wise I fell head over heals in love with it in 8th grade and it will always be one of the best stories I’ve ever read. If someone hasn’t gotten the chance to check it out yet….. im sorry i dont care who you are, If you like stories at all this one is a MUST. YOU GOTTA!!!! And most likely the manga is the best way to absorb it?? And Arakawa’s art is incredible like ofc.

And then theres the animes!!!!! which i got a LOTTA OPINIONS ON

For simplicity i’m gonna refer to the original anime as just “TOA” for simplicity.

first i’ll say, anybody who ever tells you that brotherhood is 100% better than TOA is a bastard. A foolish bastard.

Someone might think this is my nostalgia speaking but even recent first time watchers have agreed with me here:

First, Al’s dub voice is great in brotherhood but he’s my actual fucking son in TOA.

But more importantly:

The entire set up arc (like half of TOA/maybe 13 eps of brotherhood) is SIGNIFICANTLY better in TOA. There were serious pros and cons to the weird timing of TOA and the manga coming out simultaneously!! 

The cons are pretty well-known. The anime caught up too fast and had to finish the story entirely differently than the manga (I’ll talk about that in a sec).

The pros re: following the manga storyline!! are that it had the chance to take it’s time on every introduction. We get to know each character in depth before things Really start to pop off and it’s done brilliantly, because they didn’t even know what was to come at that point, and they sure were not in a rush to get there.

The earlier parts of FMA are what have made it so iconic. The story of Al and Ed and their mother, every military character’s intro and Nina, Hughes, etc etc all made FMA what it was. Then the later parts just put all of the beautiful set up into motion & eventual collision.

This is why I highly recommend that people watch the first 20 or so episodes of TOA, and then start watching brotherhood from the SECOND episode or a little bit after that. Mostly BECAUSE ep 1 is just bad (most of all because it has a major spoiler IN ONE OF THE FIRST SHOTS that was never intended to be given away like that oh my god). But also because it’s good to see the difference in the other episodes, and since they are extremely concise it doesn’t take long to get through them at all. And then!!! you can just watch the rest of Brotherhood.

Anyway. That is a really strange way to do it that no one else has the energy for probably but I’ve been taking this route with my roommate who has never seen it!! and it has been really really good so far. I do gotta say this probably wont work if you havent watched it and you dont have anyone watching it with you that’s already seen it. That would probably be rather confusing so… might have to throw this theory out otherwise. i dont know i dont know…

Sorry that was a confusing explanation, but the point is, manga plot: first 20ish eps of TOA good, ep 8 or so on of brotherhood good.

The simplest option might be to just watch all of TOA and then Brotherhood if youre willing and want both stories?

TOA still has an interesting story that I enjoyed before I read the manga, but I gotta admit it’s not nearly as extravagant or impressive. I do still own conqueror of shambala on dvd though and i will never get rid of it.

If anyone is curious, my experience was TOA+shambala in 2007/8 (mostly dub) –> the manga until it ended –> kinda spiteful abt brotherhood because people shit talked TOA –> binged brotherhood (dub) in like 2014 and realized i was horribly wrong and that it was fucking beautiful save for the beginning.

I’m sure other people had great experiences however they first consumed the story, but tbh i cant imagine any other way because there are so many weird differences between all 3!!

Regarding the actual story of FMA, I cant say much of anything. It’s quite actually perfect and people really just gotta read/watch it and have their own experience with that.

Personal favorite characters: Alphonse (HAVE seriously considered naming a child after him… dont @ me), Ling yao (my old url was lingaring specifically because i love him so fucking much it hurts dude), Envy (not as much until i watched brotherhood for some reason?? brotherhood just made me fall in love with him as a character and he might be my actual fav character arc), and wow every single god damn female character. Like. damb. Maria, Olivier, Winry, Riza, Izumi like. holy shit. thanks Arakawa for my life.ANYWAY this got really long so I’m gonna stop while it’s an ok place to stop.

I could talk about specifics in the story a lot more but I will save that for another day.

[talkingtomyselfblog]

mourning journal 3

Agh! My apple AirPods ran out of charge! A new challenge I will need to be mindful of I guess. Here we go with another stream of consciousness. i watched the new cartia mallan vlog this morning and i am just so obsessed with HER-- like her aura, her style, her humor, her love for adventure, she has such amazing vibes. keep typing sheila keep typing you just arent getting into this like you thought you would you just need to keep typing. im going to yoga today! which will be fun. im wearing heals today that might be uncomfortable we’ll see. ive been thinking lately about love, in like a lonely way lol. idk. i want to feel it. im at home and dont feel love like i think others feel it. i dont feel comfortable at home. at least, not fully. and idk. i want a companion. but like, i havent felt anything close to that in a while. sometimes i think about my ny guy but i convince myself he never thinks about me. i guess this is all my doing though. lets rewrite that. i bet my ny guy thinks about me. hes probably sad the moments gone like i am. and i do feel love at home. its unique and im lucky enough to experience it. i am grateful. i am grateful for the trees which give us so mcuh. im thankful for the opportunity i have to work in san francisco. I am grateful for my parents who love me so much they dont know how to handle it. i am grateful for my brother who tries his best. i am grateful for my introspection. i am grateful for the bart, which is saving me all the gas money. im thanksful for the friends i do have. im grateful for all the love i recieve. im thankful for nature for giving me so much love and comfort and beauty. so ive been thinking about looking more into wicca. idk it just kind of feels right to me.... like a religion worshipping nature feels safe to me. and it embodies all ive been thinking about lately, with my facination with tarot cards and crystals and yoga...idk it came to me and it makes sense. i appreciate this time ive been given to be alone because it has forced me to look at what i love and what facinates me. i can say i have a hobby and passions which was missing . before. so i hope to really go al in and doing the necessary research to feel comfortable with it all. i want to really know astrology and i want to be able to confidently give a tarot card reading and i want to know when to use what crystal and talk about them to other people with ease. i hope really diving into the things i love will help me meet someone who i vibe with. because i do love myself dont get me wrong...but i wanna experience life with someone else. not just anyone. but having company sounds nice. ugh i was about to stop tyoing but realized im not even car sick thank god so i should keep going! work has been good. stressful but good. i hope i make friends soon. but i also dont want to rush it. idk. i guess i am really fucking lonely man. i still think about the friends ive left behind and am really fucking proud of my strength because why interact with people that probably arent thinking the same thing abut you and probably dont think about you nearly as often as you think about them (hence the reason you broke up with them in the first place) im so sick of the toxicity i jsut want to meet someone where its so easy to get along and we just mesh and understand each other and i dont care who it is i dont need a romantic partner i just need a partner and if its romantic or sexual then thats a bonus but i dont want to be closed off to any ideas. i also think about how no one in the family who is under 32 is talking to me. makes me feel like im, diffoicult to get along with, or i really get under peoples skin. and it really hurts when its familty. becaue they are suposed to love you for who you are, unconditionally. but not even the americans are cabable of doing that. its really sad and i dont htink theres much i can do about it cause its their problem. im great. and if you dont want me. thats your loss. its your loss. im fantastic. im funny, im clever, im introspectiive and philolo[hical so can hold a great conversation. im pretty, im fun, im always down to try  new things. i am cabable of loving so har.d im a catch. i know why peoiple have an . issue and its just because we edont work out rightn now in our lives. things will work out when they work out and i just need to be patient and take things as they come. stop dwelling in the past stop thinking about the future just focus on the now. how do i feel right now? im a bit tired but ready for the day. im so grateful for this seat i was able to find on bart. im grateful for this opportnity to write my thoughts down. and im so happy i stuck with it because this felt good :) omg someones storing behind me LOL. things i want to manifest this year are moving out and going to columbia to visit yvonne. thats all i would liek to manifest. and i missed the eclipse and im so sad about that. i want to meet more people into this stuff to maybe help me remenber important dates like that. nbuut i alwso want to be able oto remember on my own. i just need to keep reading sheila. you need to jeep reading because you are more than capable of becoming comfrotabel with this knowledge on your own. i know youve alwasy taken the easy way and not help as much responsibility when it comes to learning probably due sto insecurity and your inferiority complex given to you through emotional abuse in your household. but you can do it. especially now. because you are so grwon and have really learned from so much that has happened. im so freaking proud of you. IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU SHEILA!1!! you have gone through so much and i know it. i see it. i see you, and i love you. 

[xuseokgyu]

This might be the longest one yet.......... rip. i had some stories to tell.... :((

My job is to mostly to tell people when they make mistakes lmao. i work in document quality control ? for a manufacturing company, mostly check the inspection paperwork and certificates for the medical/surgical devices. and then have to be like this... is not right. fix this. currently have a lot of prototype parts going through which have some added requirements but also they keep changing the prints so then obviously the paperwork then changes and its just been annoying cuz its redo-ing a lot of paperwork.

yeah, that makes sense and that is part of it sometimes... i also think im just not in the mood for certain genres of music at times lol.

lol yeah it was so funny in the beginning she was watching some mv's and kept sending me screenshots of jeonghan with different hair styles with this message "who is this????" and every single time it was still jeonghan. i was just like lmao you should just assume that its jeonghan at this point. her defense was that he looks really different every time he changes his hair. she can recognize him now at least. the only other ones she can recognize currently are s.coups (her current favorite member overall) and vernon (her favorite rapper in their songs - she really like how vernon raps). shes more rap biased lol.

thank you.. you are only a little late lol my bday was the 11th. the last time i played bingo i spent $40 total over two days (80 games @ $0.50/game) and won zero. its a skill... i only got close to bingo (1 space away) like 3 times total. it was really tragic... at one point the lady sitting at the same table as us was just like wow... i haven't seen you even get three in a row since i've been here (which was like an hour).

We went to the same kindergarten, then i moved away and then i moved back in the 8th grade (i also have known the friend that is getting into svt for the same amount of time since she went to that same school, though her family are basically neighbors with my cousins family, and they are really close, so i saw her a lot more overall but wasn't super close to her until more recently actually, when we went to the same wedding (my cousin's) and starting talking again)

also to help this make more sense (as in why would they remember me lol) my graduating class size at that school was only 22 people, and my cousins also went to that same school. my dad went to that school, the english teacher there had taught my dad when he was in high school, its extreme small town vibes. people would literally just recognize what family i came from and just start talking to me. and i'd just be frantically trying to figure out who they were. like oh god oh god am i supposed to know who this is?? have i met this person before???

actually the wackiest thing is one of my friends from when i moved (big school), her grandma, i found out after we moved back to the small town, used to babysit my dad and her grandmas house was literally a mile down the street from us... you could see her grandmas house from our living room windows. i was just like what?? her cousins also then went to the same school as me. and then we fell out of touch but then ended up going to the same college. where she would be like "i saw you on campus today" and i was just like??? i did not see you, where are you? i haven't talked to you in like 3 years wtf?? i'm not in touch with her anymore but my younger sister is currently roommates with her younger sister in college lmao. oh other bizarre thing... one of my classmate's (from the big school) relatives bought the house we sold when i moved in kindergarten, and idk for some reason a few years after we moved we went back to the old house for something idk, and my classmate was visiting her family at my old house at the same time. we saw each other and we just stared at each other like what are you doing here?? we had moved like hour away (highway travel times) lol so it was just so random. (wow i hope these made sense lol)

the heat was worse in the beginning of summer i think... or i've just gotten used to it lol. there was all that smoke though that blew in from canada a bit ago though. but thats almost become a yearly thing now unfortunately. lol your weather sounds like how the weather is here sometimes - i live in minnesota, we are known for our wildly fluctuating weather. extreme highs and lows.

I love piano in music! I had to learn how to play piano as a kid... my grandma taught (most) of the grandchildren. i'm not very good at it tbh i never liked to practice and i havent played in years lol. we also learned how to play the piano/read sheet music when i went to the big school for music class for a year. I feel like if you are able to buy a little cheap or used keyboard it shouldn't be too hard to teach yourself if you wanted to start?? at least simple songs. I guess learning to read music would be the hardest place to start if you've never read sheet music before?? but thats what cheat sheets are for tbh. write the notes in, write them on the keys whatever works. we had a foldable note cheat sheet thing that went behind the keys and said the name of the note and where it was on the staff behind all the keys. when I was learning i'd be like b b b where is the b im looking for... ah here it is *ding* ok and now c ... c . c. ah ha *ding* and then repeat until you can play at a normal speed lol.

oh hands down its Oh My! best summer song lol i love Oh My! .... You Made My Day is also my fav album... what about you?

also what's ur favorite cold drink (#2)? picked this one cuz I have been buying myself bubble tea like once a week almost uhhh all summer lol the tapioca pearls at this place are so much better than other places i've been to and this place has cheese foam that i have also become obsessed with (tho thats very expensive its an extreme treat myself drink add-on lol) the blended mango with cheese foam... so good.... its like $7 though. today i got the normal mango milk tea which i hadn't had in a while cuz i'd been going through the various types of regular? milk tea (made with different types of black tea - i love black tea i have um a lot of tea i think i have like 15 different types rn). Otherwise I almost always have ginger ale in my fridge lol its great for a lot of things and also just to drink. love ginger ale... i just love ginger honestly.....

Is 1am and I should be sleeping but I wanna answer this before reveal day!!!

Best job description 😂😂 I feel like your job is one that can become automatic very easily so I can see how the changes can be annoying

SCoups and Vernon are definitely the ones with more distinctive faces, they were the ones I recognized better first, same for my father... he knows the names of all the members now but he still messes up the three Js hahah Jeonghan Joshua and Jun always take a while for him to recognize, sometimes Wonwoo too, which drives my sister crazy cause two of her three bias are there 😂😂

These small town vibes are so cool! I love that you have this community and managed to form long lasting friendships!! I basically had the same classmates for ten years and as soon as we graduated I lost touch... I made great friends at college tho The pandemic has been hard, we are respecting our health and haven’t seen each other personally since it all started, but I hope once we can meet again everything will go back to how it was between us

I had a situation sort of similar to yours at school too ahha My mom was and had already been a teacher (P.E.) at my school for years so all the staff and a looot of the older students knew who I was, but I had no idea who those people were hahah To this day almost everywhere we go together we will encounter some old student of hers...

Is so cool that your grandma did that! But I can see how it was more a task than something you truly wanted to do so you probably wouldn’t be very excited heheh I was part of a choir growing up and we had sheet music but our teacher never truly showed us how to read it, I know the basics but is literally like a toddler that just learned the alphabet hahah

Oh my! really is THE summer song I completely agree with you there!! I also absolutely loove the mv and whole comeback seemed really cool

Oohh I only had bubble tea once and I want to drink it again!! I only know of one place that sells it here, it is still a pretty new “concept” so there’s not a lot of shops around... And I never had ginger ale! I’m super curious about it cause I’ve heard it being mentioned in, like, tv series, but I don’t drink sodas so I don’t know if I would break my “diet” for a taste heheh My favorite cold drink is lemon iced tea, the ones we have here are really sweet and kinda “sparkling”? (I don’t know how to say it... is almost like a soda but not really 😅) Even during the winter, we drink it during weekends cause is a “special drink” hahahah not a Brazilian thing, just in my house

[cannibaldeerdoe]

Romance is dead.

"She is probably using him." Was the first sentence out of his mouth.  It had slipped out as he starred blankly into his latte as it swirled casually around the espresso and whipped cream in the cup. His friends, Audrey and Stella, Both had their jaws a gap.

To which Darnell simply shrugged nonchalantly, sipping coolly at his drink.

He glanced left, then right at both of his dear friends. A bored expression plastered on his face before he set his drink down, the sleeves of his dark over sized hoodie shuffling over his knuckles as the drink was set.

Darnell had short cut black hair, thick curls at the ends near his neck where he felt he may need to get a haircut sometime in the near future. Long bangs pushed out of his eyes as green eyes took in the shocked expressions of his friends once more before deciding to finally speak up.

"What?" He stated so plainly, " I was pretty sure you were use to this by now. " He stated plainly.

The girl's had been gossiping about a college campus romance unfolding. They had seemed like the most typical couple in the world, boy meets girl, they start doing casual stuff around campus, holding hands, walking to class, ect, ect. Darnell has seen this sort of thing at least a dozen or so times before.

It always ended the same. Heart break. Either after a month or two they faded apart, or one cheats on the other, or the other gets dissatisfied by the fact they only want such and such items. Petty stuff that was enough to ruin anyones mood.

This time though, The guy had left a bouquet of flowers on her desk with a note. She later came back with a red blush on her face.

He had apparently surprised her with some sweets in her locker next, ending with a request to an amusement park. after only a year of dating it seemed he finally proposed. She had yet to give her answer yet. Though, according to his friends, she was a fool to say no to such a romantic gesture.

"No. Dont you see? He obviously figured out she was the perfect fit for him. " Stated Audrey, resting her chin on her palm as she stuck out her puffy lips. Her perfect dark skin seeming to meld well with the lighting drifting in through the window they were seated beside.

"You typically need a few years and living together to know that"

"Maybe he just knew, y'know, like a soul mate or something. " Stated his other friend, Stella stated, her brunettes' locks hanging low as he rested her elbow on the counter. Her gold hooped earrings shinning as they interacted with the sun hitting the table.

"No, See, Here's how things will play out. They rush into this marriage, and after a year pop out some children. They arent prepared or ready for kids so that causes tension. They find out their views on raising kids is vastly different and they dont coordinate well. They divorce, wondering why they were ever in love in the first place. " He began to take a sip at his drink. Humming casually.

"Its so simple. Heard it a dozen times before. There is no such thing as love or romance not in the real world. " They both stared at him, their brown and blue eyes glaring  him down before Audrey broke the silence.

"Yeah, Well, I hope you stay single forever with that sort of attitude!" To such an accusation, the group laughed. Cheerful fun having presented itself.

The group soon decided to depart, standing and walking down the street, the busy city gleaming and bustling with life.

Short lived romance, People arguing, Artists, dancers, office workers. It was just everyday life in this beautiful city. A city of small drama and comfortable living for young people.

It was perfect for beginnings and amazing for endings. Only issue was a lot of the time it was placed in that cold hard, cough syrup flavored reality.

They chattered and Darnell once more found himself laughing.

He had sworn he would stay single forever, because, to him romance was just something he enjoyed reading about in his spare time. It wasnt something that was real. It wasnt something that lasted. Just like his own parents. When he was a kid, they argued non-stop while swearing they were once in love.

To Darnell, Love was a spark that eventually faded. Love that lasted was usually just that. A fairy tale. One he figured he would enjoy avoiding at al cost.

Darnell paused, spotting in a window pane a book he had been in desperate need of and been eagerly awaiting the release of the next volume!

He could hardly contain such excitement, Pausing to stare into the window that showed the new released.

"I didnt even get the notification! "He exclaimed, waving hurriedly to his friends. They looked at eachother before turning to continue to walk.

"We can just meet you later." Stated Stella,

"How a romance nerd like you doesnt believe in real romance is such a god damn mystery to me."

The bell chimed delightfully and slightly annoyingly as he hurriedly opened the door to the bookshop.

Rushing over to the bookshelf behind the window case and searching frantically for where the volume might be located.

"Can I help you?" Stated a smooth voice almost like caramel from behind him.

Darnell's shoulders slumped some, he hated social interactions with  strangers. He had already guessed a read on his personality before even turning to face him. Gorgeous and surrounded by women at all peaks of the hours.

"Im just looking for the book that was released in this series. "He hardly bothered to look the man in the eye.

There was an audible hum from the man as he answered Darnell's query.

"I havent quite gotten around to putting them on the shelf yet. The copies are actually still in a box just over there. I just finished with the display a few minutes ago before being dragged off by my manager." He chuckled softly, his voice sounding almost as sickeningly radiant as the bell that chimed when he strode in.

"Well why bother setting up the display if they arent--"Darnell was about to go off on this guy, who care's if he is good looking?! Yet, when his green eyes met with this guy's almost brown his heart seemed to skip. As though it were waking from a cold damp slumber and stretched its feathered wings.

What. The. Fuck. Oh no, you go back to being dead right this instant!

He swallowed, rolling his eyes and trying to look more disgruntled than what he actually was.

"Just give me the damn copy. "

He demanded, which was promptly met with a chuckle, a smile. And him bending over to reveal even better of a view.

Yeah. He was asking for heart break with this guy. Last thing he needed in his life was more heart break.

He plopped the heady hardcopy into Darnell's hands. His eyes seemed to gleam as he held his most recent favorite romance novel. It was glorious! It was just as great as everything written about it in the forums!

He slouched back into his normal mood, His lip stuck out as he avoided eye contact and held the book tightly to his chest.

"Thanks."

"No problem, I can check you out as well if you'd like. It looks like your friends may have come back for you after all." He chuckled again, waving politely to the two girls standing outside.

Why were they just watching the whole scene? Were they expecting something from all this?!

He bought his book and went about his day. His friends teasing him that the guy back there was right up his alley in every way, shape and form!

"Did you get his name?"

"Did you get his number...?"

" His names Bryan. No, Why would I even bother?" They continued their taunts. Although they all stopped suddenly in their steps, the sound of rampant feet clattering towards the group.

They had gone quite a ways from the bookstore now and were on their way home, surprised to find the handsome and bold short haired red head sprinting towards them.

He huffed, changed from his bookstore uniform. He was red in the face a large smile as he tried to play off how awkward it must have looked running towards them.

"I cant--!"He tried to say between gasps for air. "Believe I ran into you again!" He stated exasperated, "I thought about this earlier, I got so excited when I saw you again I thought it might be a good chance!" he began to dig around in his pocket, pulling out his phone.

"I notice you read romance in my mother's store a lot! I thought you might be interested in maybe coming to a book club with me. It's run by my sister. The next reading is 'What blooms in winter' A new romance story that was released by an armature novelist. "

He smiled, directing the phone screen to Darnell in particular.

"I figured I could...Get your number. It's next week. I can even stop by and pick you up by the store?"

In Darnell's mind at that moment he could heart the thrum of his heart, His friends both at a loss for words. That was basically asking for a date. Adding in some lame excuse for how he could get his number.

He rolled his eyes.

His head was screaming for a yes, yes, YES! Though he instead shoved the phone back into the guys hands. "Why in the world would I bother going to something so childish as a book club. "he snarled. Turning sharply on his heel.

"S-Sorry he--" "Stop talking to the creep!" He interrupted, Not wanting to put up with Stella's excuse.

After that, he said good bye to his friends. Hugs and cheers as they departed. He stood there in the hallway. Waiting for everyone to get to their dorms.

He stood in the silence. Looked left. Looked right.

Then he found his legs were moving on their own.

Sprinting as fast, if not faster, than he thought possible down the hallway, bursting through the doors of his apartment, back down that alley way with his sneakers noisily smacking against the loud concrete.

He turned the corner to the empty city street to see a lone man in a dark green and white t-shirt walking with his hands in his pockets.

He looked a bit forlorn to say the least and turned almost at the last minute to view a black haired, skinny pale male moving faster than he had since middle school gym.

He could barely stop, barreling towards the broad-shouldered red head. He stopped just in time before a crash course collision.

Gasping in deep shallow breaths. He couldnt dare try to say words.

They both stood there in awkward silence.

"Are you al--"He was about to ask, though Darnell very quickly grabbed for his phone from his hands. He held his breath as he rushed to type in his number and throw it back into his hands.

He still was quite breathless but now stood up straight, a scowl present on his face and turned back to walk jelly legged back to his apartment. Leaving the man to the empty street once more.

A soft chuckle being heard from him.

[bumblegem]

avery how could you do this to me

name - haley

nickname - nyo, bumble, hales, grandma

gender - female

star sign - pisces

height - 5′5″

time - 10:36 pm

bday - march 4th

fav bands - glass animals, mother mother, the hoosiers, the hush sound

fav solo artist(s) - danielle ate the sandwich, kate nash, marina & the diamonds (i can make a playlist for a character using only her songs. its my special talent.)

song stuck in my head - ultimately by khai dreams

last movie i watched - captain underpants i think?

last show i watched - planet earth II

when did i create my blog - too long ago, my memory doesnt span that far back

last thing i googled - “nosh”

do i have another blog - a few retired ask blogs, my art blog, a nsfw blog

do i get asks - sometimes

why i chose my url - bc i love sharks and ice cream

following -  271

followers - 701

avg hours of sleep - like 5-6 is p average for me

lucky number(s) - 3

instruments - ive been trying to teach myself how to play the ukulele for years so i can annoy my friends but i havent accomplished much

what am i wearing - black tanktop and my pink seahorse pajama shorts

dream job - i rlly like working with kids tbh but uh man yeah i wish i could live off of my art. that’d be chill

dream trip - honestly gonna steal from avery here bc i really just wanna go do something chill with friends? the Day Dream trip has warm air, sweet drinks and banter. thats all i want

fav food - so much. i love vegetables so anything loaded with those. pumpkin pie? yeah

nationality - american

fav song right now - im annoyed that lemon boy by cavetown has resonated with me so much but thats where im at

sexuality - ace lesbian. hey avery thanks for filling out some of these for me

hogwarts house - hufflepuff

fav animals - sharks, nudibranchs, bees

dog or cat person - i love both but god im probably a cat person

blankets you sleep with - i have 4 blankets on my bed at all times but usually only 1 is on me unless im cold, then 2 Max

why you got a blog - i think i got directed to an ask blog through a facebook group and decided this site looked fun. BOY was i wrong but im still fucking here

top (3) fav characters - spyro, remus lupin, harley quinn

no. of posts - uh fuck almost 63.8k oops

pokemon team - yellow, the meme team

fav color - purple, pink, orange?? think of the sunset and thats my favorite color

relationship status - single

lip- or chapstick - lipstick

last song i listened to - here

top (3) shows - god i dont even watch anything anymore UH sailor moon, planet earth I & II, stranger things

top (3) ships - god like just in general? like if its involving my kids defo like... matt & gil, al & maria, mel & mams. uh NOT involving my kids, harley & ivy, neptune & uranus, ana & reinhardt

books i’m reading - im slowly reading the first harry potter book at my coteachers request

i can tag who i want so @drawingxstars, @strawberry-lovelies and thats it

[liebesyhhra]

ramadhan prep

Bismillaah

This post is inspired by my friend, H. She is someone i look up to a lot for all her tenacity, great ideas and really the amazing person that she is. MasyaAllah :) 

dear H,

last night as we welcomed ramadhan i finally had the drive to write about the lessons from sharing sessions and talks ive been to, particularly a talk i attended at masjid ansar about ramadhan. turned out the drive was warm warm chicken poop (hangat hangat tahi ayam hahahaha) only and i ended up not writing. hahaha nothing new there!!! 

that same night you shared with me about your islamic sharing instagram account big idea you had with your friend!! and i was so thrilled!!! partly because you’re basically doing what i’ve always wanted to do on a blog but been putting off for a long timeee. the other part is just me being so proud of you for always coming up with amazing ideas and always so willing to share the good stuff that you come across. i really hope this great idea will become reality and i really really look forward to it!!! count me in anytime hehe.

sometimes i hide behind an inferior complex when deciding not to pursue something like oh im never going to deserve to do calligraphy because i am not arty and i don’t want to degrade calligraphers by my undeserving attempt. that sounds super silly hahaha but ya i am silly like that. it was only natural (???? silly^10000 but yes) that i completely threw away my idea of finally posting something on my blog, because someone better is doing it already. but H you were so supportive and interested in my own initiative, and plus all the thought challenging i did i realised that other people taking good initiatives does not in any way degrade my own. and so fast forward to now i’m still trying to get to the subject of matter hahahaha what a prelude!!! 

i attach the event poster for reference

i was very much interested by the concept haha unlimited data plan yes please my bills are getting so ex because data usage :-) kidding hehe of course there was more to it than its literal meaning. 

the talkshow by the five asatizah panelists covered three main topics:

pre-paid pahala

free outgoing doa

ramadan premium gold member

1. pre-paid pahala

the topics surrounding intentions and sincerity were being discussed. having good intentions without even carrying out the actions yet entitles a person to rewards --> pre-paid pahala cool eh !! may we all proceed to carry out the good we intend to do with sincerity, amin.

i. what is sincerity?

having sincerity/ikhlas is defined as doing something without hoping for any reciprocation or rewards. this reminded me so much of our malay literature days when cikgu A would ask “what is the most important lesson we can learn from the sun?” when we were going through the sajak ‘menjaring mentari hidupku’. (sidetrack i really couldn’t remember the sajak title i just remembered something got to do with sun but definitely not mengejar mentari...........huehe anje ayanggg) the answer being: the sun gives and gives, even when it knows the beings on earth can never repay it. what can i give the sun?? what can the plants give the sun?? and still it continues being the number one source of energy everyday. 

in doing good deeds though sometimes we experience spiritual and moral roadblocks like feeling riyak and overly proud of the good we do. asatizah shared that the way around these roadblocks is not to simply stop doing the good, but continue to engage in the good deed as well as pray that Allah removes the riyak and grant us sincerity.

asatizah shared a story of saidatina Fatimah r.a’s sincerity in helping those in need, putting their needs above her own. nobody knew of the story until Allah sent down a verse narrating the sincere deed Fatimah r.a had carried out. 

the story took place during the month of ramadhan. each day Fatimah r.a only had water, milk and bread to break her fast with. on the first day during iftar, a needy person came knocking to ask for food. she gave away her food and only had water for herself. this happened for three consecutive nights masyaAllah! idk if it were me i’d probably have gone ‘oh im so hungy i havent eaten in three days i gave all my food away to the poor!!!’ probably hoping for some sort of acknowledgement or applaud haha or complimentary iftar. but masyaAllah Fatimah carried the deed out without expecting anything but Allah’s blessings. her intention was solely to please God. the verse is recorded in the quran:

وَيُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامَ عَلَىٰ حُبِّهِ مِسْكِينًا وَيَتِيمًا وَأَسِيرًا  إِنَّمَا نُطْعِمُكُمْ لِوَجْهِ اللَّهِ لَا نُرِيدُ مِنكُمْ جَزَاءً وَلَا شُكُورًا

surah al-insan, 8-9

ii. how do we know of a person’s sincerity?

we dont hahahaha. only Allah knows! but it’s always good to believe someone is doing a good deed out of good intention and sincerity. on our part too, we may have ulterior motives intentional or unintentionally along the way of doing good. dont stop nothing to see here move along now keep calm and doa!

iii. how to attain and maintain sincerity?

be conscious of our intentions to do something for the sake of Allah

act it out. actions speak louder than words

istiqamah in training our hearts

remember that Allah sees and appreciates each and every good deed and intention

introspection/muhasabah

here, asatizah shared the story of saidina Kalid al Walid r.a. Khalid was leading a battle when he was demoted by khalifah Umar. instead of being bitter about it he fought harder and with even more willpower. when asked why he was not the least bit demotivated over being demoted, he replied that he fought not for the title but for the sake of Allah. 

knowing that Allah always appreciates the good we do is so heartening. it’s also so heartening when people are appreciative of the good we do. this doesn’t negate our sincerity though, view it as Allah’s way of making us happy through His other creations

iv. benefits of ikhlas

self-fulfilment

pahalaaa hehe amin

peace of mind

wont feel disappointed over lack of reciprocation

part two nexttttttt

2. free outgoing doa

ramadhan is the month of mercy! forgiveness! and so we ask of Allah for aaall that and more in the blessed month. 

asatizah first shared the mannerisms of making doa, which are found in the structure of surah al-fatihah. ustazah S shared this before in school!! so excited for some reason when ustaz shared during the talk. making doa inadvertently makes us realise that we are such....small beings who depend so much on His mercy. it would only be appropriate to make doa in a state of sincerity, humbleness and humility. 

doa is significant in our lives, such that it instills Hope in us and husnuszhon towards Allah.

doa is also a form of self-motivation. when we pray for something good for ourselves eg ya Allah please help me become successful in my studies, indirectly we push ourselves to do our best so our prayer comes true. we won’t pray for something we are not working towards so masyaAllah this was an interesting insight!

on to the last one!!!

3. ramadhan premium gold member

aka laylatul qadr 

this talk was held pre-ramadhan, and ustazah said preparation had to begin NOW, which was a week ago haha but now now is not too late either! it’s not too early either considering insyaAllah we will try to find it in the last ten nights. however the spiritual burnout is real and nauzubillah, so let’s all keep in mind that the most loved by Allah are little but consistent deeds! youre doing great sweetie :* 

while living our nights in qiyam, asatizah reminded us to always keep ourselves and our parents in our doa. yang terbaik, amin! may we be blessed with the opportunity to live the night of power and receive blessings of a thousand months amin! ultimate level of premium gold membership masyaAllah.

4. miscellaneous

under the topic of doa actually, in our humility sometimes we would cry when asking Allah for something we really want. however there are also people who try their best to have that humility but cannot cry (like me hahaaaa so hard hearted nauzubillah) and that’s ok. sometimes it’s the peace in our heart that can be felt. 

so alhamdulillah! that’s all to share from the distinguished panelists. there were nasyid and poetry performances too which were amazinggg live spotify hahaha. this more or less helped me look forward to all the amazing goodness being offered in ramadhan, and what i can start with; having the right intentions. i really enjoyed penning this down and i hope this wont be the last! thank you, H, for spurring me on to finally act out this particular intention. may Allah bless you always all ways!!! so sayang

i was so afraid and unprepared to welcome ramadhan, still so irrationally afraid even as we’ve fasted for the first day.. going to this talk and previously the one with you at masjid Ruadhah helped me prepare a bit spiritually alhamdulillah. thank you for being there with me and for me during this journey! maybe i am afraid i won’t live up to my best behaviour. maybe i am so afraid of feeling lonely. maybe i am so afraid of.....idk actually what i’m afraid of. in spite of all that, i hope you, me and everybody else will have a blessed ramadhan ahead and do our best to give our best, insyaAllah

i am ending this off with a quote

God’s delays aren’t God’s rejections. Worry ends when Faith begins.

and a doa

اللهم انك عفو تحب العفو فاعف عنا يا كريم

ramadhan kareem! 

semoga Allah redha

sending lots of luv,

<3

[winking]

my top 9 albums of 2017... im totally gonna copy kathryns format but n e wayz ndfewkjnew i rlly only listened to... wanna one... and taemin this last month .. what have i been doing !!!!! and then i remember i used to listen to nct albums alot iconic.... before july??? i hav no memory... i was in hs i didnt listen to anything no time..... i got tagged by @48hours and ill tag @jiminuyasha @hwallsgrl @lip2hip and @dehsi U DONT HAV TO READ AL OF THIS IM SORRY I JUST HAV ALOT TO SAY..... 

so here are the albums in order:

1. the first - the boyz

i was excited for this.... i remember when i listened to the preview? i was like this is gonna b good...and it was.... boy is good, nice debut. the first 16 seconds?? the best part?? i felt like the chorus of the song could hav went a different way n i felt that way w energetic but theyre both good songs what can i say! walkin in time ... soft... i enjoyed... i dont listen to it as much but its rlly good i rlly love kevins voice.....got it... yoooo.... got it is so good??? like... the first part... kevins voice im gonna die... his voice is like honey... also i rlly like news voice and jacobs n hwalls part???? also towards the end where jacob n haknyeon are harmonizing ?? kings of vocals .. and lastly.. im your boy iconic.... i love this os much... just everything abt it i was so weirded out when i first heard but i just fell in love.. its very unique 

top track: .... got it/ im your boy

worst track: theyre all pretty equal honestly!!! i would say NJDKEW DONT HATE ME BUT BOY...... its like... the same rank as the rest but its the one i least listen to 

2. move-ing - taemin 

this is the repackaged of his second album but it has different songs so im not cheating! this album is way softer than move... definitely... i havent read the lyrics but it sounds like hes in love and in move it sounds like hes not over his ex mood.... but day and night is a cute song.. i love taemin so much :(( snow flower is pretty slow....but its a nice song... taemin rlly has a nice voice that i love n adore... im crying, hmmm i feel like this is the song i listen to the least.. im listening to it rn its rlly good i just prefer pop music sometimes like i wanna dance... and lastly hypnosis hmm i lied i feel like ive never even listened to this kdjewn oh worm... this is a good song.. why is taemin a god???

top track: day and night or im crying?

worst track: i like them all!!

3. nothing without you - wanna one 

... pleas first of all the intro is amazing it should hav been a full song and the title track!!!!!!! nothing without you!!!!!!! my kings came back w a repackaged album but w more good songs... ms beautiful ... it was .. underwhelming is that a word... but its rlly such a nice song.. im listening rn its so beautiful?? the choreo is amazing this concept is nice .. i just enjoy this song so much :(( wanna.... gatgo shipeo..... amazing. i love this song so much!! sungwoon’s voice is my favorite and in this song it fits perfectly... 10/10 song sorry fakeables! i never listen to twilight :) the burn it up and energetic prequel  remixes r good trust me i didnt like at first but theyre iconic especially energetic......wanna be.. soft... ms energetic.... god u did so much this year.. love u... queen of debut songs... burn it up is good too i love them both... to be one outro NJDKEW I NEVER LISTEN TO THIS BEFORE... it was good ofc 

top track: beautiful/energetic... just facts

worst track: i dk twilight im sorry 

4. limitless - nct

im talking so much ill stop talking djewnf ms limitless i love u... i orginally had cherry bomb album but this came out the 6th of jan :) queen... cherry bomb era was better in general but i love this album more :( limitless... is so good.. i fell in love w good thing cause i watch the same taeyong fancam and he looks sexy!!!! back 2 u and heartbreaker r both good dramatic songs.. baby dont like it iconic?? taeyongs rap.. kill me... and finally angel mayb top nct song in my opinion!

top track: limitless/angel 

worst track: i like heartbreaker but i listen to it the least! 

5. move - taemin

oh boy well listen... believe me when i say this deserves album of the year?? it is very rare for me to love an entire album this much like even w1 aka my ult group i dont love love love it... but move is so good n im so happy i got into taemin?? firstable, move... sexy.... very good... the choreo is so nice... i just enjoy this song so much..love... oh my... probably my favorite song on this album? it is so good... why is taemin such a god.??? he is such a great singer im in love with lee taemin.... crazy 4 u.... all of the songs in this album r sexy.. i just hav to say that but srsly... this song is so good...iconic... heart stop w seulgi?? the god vocalist in one song u already kno this is a good song.. this song gives different vibes from the rest of the tracks but its good .. rise... i want this song played at my funeral so everyone knows im coming back bitches!!! its so good.... i love ms rise so so much.. thirsty... taemin gets even more sexy w thirsty NJKDENW i need to stopc alling him sexy im sorry... but those r the vibes!!!! when i see him i think very manly... dancing... rated r!!! stone heart is so good... i love it idk what to say anymore i love each song on this album?? back to you... thi s song is slower than the rest .. but i wanna slow dance w taemin listening to this... why i can do... to get back to u... king... and lastly flame of love... a good song!!!! i listen to this the least i think but i rlly enjoy.... 

top track: love

worst track: none....

6. moonrise - day6 

theres alot of songs on this album?? but ill just talk abt my super fave tracks... also thank u day6 u hav 0 bad songs... what can i do? amazing...be lazy is such a cute song... m y anthem... hi hello mv is nice.. a relaxing song .. i loved you... pleas this is my favorite song from the album i think?? its so good i love kings day6! i need someone!!!! i rlly love this song... wow... 

top track: hmm i loved you or i need someone...

worst track: hi hello.. is not my style.. or ill try...

7. dont you worry honey - sir sly

oh welp. i listened to this at 3 am and i fell in love right away dkewj its so weird.. its so good... each song is pretty good like this is the album u wanna listen when ur driving w ur friends in the middle of the night trust me,. listen to it... their most famous song is high its pretty good... it was one of those rare albums.. like u hit next and its another banger??? i m in love with this album.... i understand not everyone liking it but its ... so good.... change is good. &run is funky... idk these peoples but theyre amazing.... this one reminds me of like a modern version of motolovs song dnewkj alter hmm this one is weird ya... but its good... wow....im listening rn wow.... im trying to compare their music to someone? its like.. fun kinda reminds me of franz ferdinand except its not rlly rock dkewj.. so like slower weird ... 2 am... wow... the beginning.. and then how it transitions.... worm... trippin...this one is funky.. this is what im listening too when im high and im stuck in a house when i go through a door i come out through another door dnewkjn thats how it feels.... headfirst... oh worm... i love this album so much wth.. im sorry oh mama is the last one k  this one is kinda slow? seems the most normal song 

top track: ive only listened to this album like 2 times so i cant choose mayb trippin or 2 am 

worst track: astronaut its okay

8. perfect velvet - red velvet

ill b honest i didnt listen to the entire thing but.. i skimmed through it and each song was good ... it was honestly a very good album.. like iw as surprised NDJKEW  each song is good i rlly dont wanna comment more until i listen to it fully but its an amazin g album.. queens... i love it 

9. universe - exo

yes i included this NDJKWEN why not the war? well bc i didnt listen to it NJDKEWNDEK.... i listened to this album while i was falling asleep and i just remember every song was good.. and idk their voices but they were all soothing thank u exo! im in love w this album i will talk abt it more when i listen to it aagain... its so good.... pleas.... 

[narahalara]

OK now that i am finally fucking settled I can finally write al the anger and shit that’s been on our mind cause I have been having some high and lows this week and have been meaning to write this and even though I have a hella ton of shit to do I am just watching netflix friends and gonna write this

ok so school started last week but week 1 officially starts tomorrow. I sadly have night time classes but I am also like kinda excited for this quarter in terms of my classes cause I feel like my classes are doable and actually kinda interesting? like i like chem so i am not worried about chem lab then i have two phy sci classes one is about learning and memory and the other one is about neural functions. ugh but I fucking messed up my availability so I got schedule during my class time which is making me fucking frustrated because its kinda of the post cursor to my anger of today.

Today was actually going really well, we went to church then we went out to get ramen and sip matcha, and later my sissy and I went to night of worship and honestly it was very weightlifting and powerful. But the moment I got home, I was faced with yet agajn my psychotic mother and her constant yelling and honestly I am just so tired of it but i really just do not care anymore... so on the way going back to LA I just blasted worship songs and God was reminding me to have patience and soften my heart... cause I know one of my greatest challenges these recent years is letting my heart harden i feel so broken sometimes i just stop giving a fuck. It’s really hard.. but I have to learn to have patience.

Then I got back to my apt and one of my room mates pissed me off. So we have a lock on our door and since i was here alone for the first 3 weeks I have this innate nature to just lock all three locks. So i think like once or twice I accidentally locked it but she’s getting all fucking frustrated. like ok the first time I don’t even know who locked it cause she goes out the middle of the night to her boyfriend’s house, and the second time it was actually me who accidentally locked it cause i later remembered that day that I locked it after throwing some boxes but we were all at fucking home so I don’t fucking know why she has to give me attitude. like say it to my fucking face if you have a god damn problem or just remind me instead of asking questions so passive aggressively. honestly I think i am at the point in my life where I just don’t give a fuck anymore. I honestly probably won’t really talk to her cause if she wants to be passive aggressive I don’t need to deal with that shit cause I am already faced with so much shit at home from my mom that I don’t need these minute shit in my life. 

so anyways that was also l like the first post cursor to my anger and my work schedule being fucked up was my second post cursor.

wow I have A TON of anger bottled up in me today. I havent had this much anger in a long time honestly, last times I was hella anger was because the cal grants did not reply to my appeal, but thankfully they were able to finally able to accept my appeal

I think I am writing this because if I keep this in my heart its just going to just bottle up and I will start screaming and throwing shit around but deep down I think I just want to cry because I was literally having such a good day but then it all went downhill. But then it started hitting me. During the service today and the night of worship, we were talking about how we need to surrender everything to him. And for me that means surrendering all my anger, my frustrations, my dark thoughts, my inability to forgive, all the hardness inside my heart, even if in my own thoughts all my feelings are valid, i know that these feelings will not do me any good, and I need to give it and lay it down to God. We also talked about how music itself isn’t the worship. it is our hearts ultimately... and right now i feel my heart hurting and sad... because this rant was supposed to be a really happy and thankful and positive one about the power of worship and what a good day and weekend it was, yet instead it is me pouring out all my sadness and hurt and brokenness... but this is where I remember that I don’t need to always come to God in my perfectness, i can come to him genuinely real, in my rawness and brokenness, in my hurt and frustrations, in my worries and struggles... I know that there are highs and lows and today was a roller coaster and I want to end this night on a good note so I will keep writing until my heart is softened and I do not harbor any anger inside of me anymore... so yeah. 

Dear God, tonight I come to you in all my sadness and brokenness, in all my hurt and my anger, in all my frustrations and negative thoughts. I know right now I am sad because I want to feel happy. You give me so much peace and goodness but the negativity can sometimes feel so great that I forget that you are ultimately so much bigger and powerful, you are loving and forgiving. You understand my hurts and sacrifices, just as you hurt and sacrificed. That I can come to you honestly in all my nakedness and vulnerability, I don’t need to stand before you in perfectness, I can come to you with how I really feel. But tonight God, in all of these overwhelming complex feelings, I choose to still worship and praise you. Because you deserve all the praise and all the glory. I am not worthy but because of you I am. Please help me God to have patience, I know with all the problems with my mother I have a flaw to not be patient with people and I stop caring, I let my heart harden because I would rather feel nothing than feel hurt. I pray God for my mother.. God it’s so hard... she drives me to insanity that sometimes I want to either be dead or for her to be gone... and that is such a horrible thing to wish... but it’s true, this is what I feel...so God as much as I know I feel this way, I ask you God to rebuke these dark thoughts within me... also help me God to become more patient... help me not to be quick to anger...please help me God not to throw my emotions to people around me. Even if people frustrate me, please give me patience, please help me to remember things. I know it’s so hard with the overwhelming stuff in my heart and mind that I easily forget stuff from school to work to relationships...help me God to organize my mind. I ask you Lord to always lead the way. I know that you are the one in control and sometimes I freak out that I think that I need to be the one that takes the wheel. But I surrender everything to you. I give it all to you. Dear God, I ask you to bless this quarter and year, from my classes, to my work, to my relationships, to the plans you have for me, to my personal well being and growing and healing...I thank you God for everything you have done for me lately. Thank you God that you have blessed us this year with a good place so I am no longer in the depressing dorms, thank you for my cal grants appeal that they were able to give back my cal grants and blessing me with extra pocket money I did not even expect having, thank you God for night of worship tonight and reminding me that worship is done in all things I do, that I can praise you in all areas of my life, but also I think you God that we are able to gather in community and unite under one name which is yours to just praise you regardless of all of our circumstances and situations... today we actually took communion during the worship, and they told us that we can choose to take communion when we feel it is our time to... and in that moment I was thinking about the scent of the grape juice and the sound of the communions cups being open, the sound of sweet music and feeling of peace, and I thought it was crazy how the bread represents your body. Your body that was broken for us on the cross the ultimate sacrifice you could’ve made... how you smelled the blood and sweat of your earthly body and the sound of people tormenting you, you felt the pain and brokenness both physically and from the people who hurt you... you don’t just sympathize but you empathize when we hurt, when I sin I hurt you and I stand here before you asking for forgiveness... thank you God for understanding our hurts and pains... thank you God for having better plans for us and better timing for us. I know sometimes your timing feels so weird, like the story of Lazarus and you raising him from the dead three days after, but it just reminds me how even death you can conquer, and you know what you are doing. Your timing and planning is better than mines can possibly be every time. You have done it endless times and you will do it again. so thank you God. Thank you God for loving me even when I do not deserve it. I love you so much God, in Jesus name, Amen.