#i havent been drawing for a long long time cuz of whatever reasons and im getting so nostalgic remembering the shapes

[hopefully-nightly-doodles]

I used to draw such good dynamic poses when I was younger what happed to me 😭😭😭 all of these are from 2021 done in a short time with no refs- Like how did I do that aslkdna I mean I still dont use refs often unless Im doing studies or struggling but like I feel like I've lost that confidence man- the closest I've had recently to havin a really nice dynamic pose was that young Leo art I colored, and the thumbs I had for that

Which was this, and I still adore it but I picked the other pose cuz it showed off her new design better. But like back on topic I think the reason for this dip quality I think is because back then I just drew whatever the fuck I wanted- There was no pressure in my head that it had to look cool, so it just made me more confident and made me draw more often. but since gaining a followin and learning more about the fundamentals its kinda tied me down to thinking that I have to always be producing at a certain level of quality- Like dont get me wrong, all artist go through a "dip" in their art when their "artist eye" improves faster than their skill. And not all of my art from 2021 were this good, I def had to pick from the pile of chicken scratches I had. But I feel like dynamic poses like those happened more often back then compared to now. Like I made this account specifically to like get out of my head and post all my scribbles and learn to stop carin so much about the quality of everything I put out. And I do post almost every silly lil thing I put down onto here and it does help but it just doesnt change the fact I havent been drawin much at all :'] Hence the infrequent updates. I feel like thats something a lot of older artist struggle in over coming. Like the mentality of "you've been doin this shit for so long why aren't you improving as much as you think you should be at this point?" snakes into our heads more often than the younger artist. Because they just want to draw everyday cuz its fun, so they just draw draw draw without caring. Learnin the fundamentals of art is always good, I do recommend learning them if you want significant improvements in your skills, but learning them means youre going to make a lot of ugly art. And seeing those "ugly arts" slowly chips away at you sometimes, and a lot of artist drop art when facing that hurdle. But like its okay to make ugly ass lookin art- Its part of the process and you can not skip it!! You cant just not draw for a month cuz you got super sad for making something that isn't 100% like the image you had in your head, then pick up your pen again and think that somehow NOW you can do it even tho you havent draw anythin at all- Consumin art and improving the visual library in your head is of course important, but you cant just keep expanding your Pinterest boards assuming it will make you better.

What are we? AI?

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Ahem- Anyway am I calling myself out on this post? Absolutely! Infact that was the whole reason I made this in the first place. But Im now also calling YOU out :D Yes you! The person that stumbled on this post and relates to it!! Pick up a pencil and draw damn it!!! It wont be "ugly" forever I promise.

[elkiyv]

ive been in an episode that ping pongs between depression and a mixed episode for the majority of 2022 and 2023 and my brain is literally numb and dead i cant wait for gomens s2 to jump start it back to the living like it's the only thing that was dragging me through my bp2 episodes...

i dont even recognise the style in which i draw in now... i havent drawn art for myself in a year or more just because i really find no more pleasure in it anymore and im really trying to claw my way back to what i used to be... it's hard for me to talk to friends and im lowkey pulling away from them cuz the medicine is making me slow and also i have no energy because ive been in a depression for god knows how long

the paranoia is eating me alive and destroyed my confidence in art and i dont believe in myself anymore.. there are so many signs that is just pointing that i shouldnt be an artist let alone be alive like the universe really is showing me all the signs even thought i know the signs are just irrational and persecutory delusions but at the same time theyre all so viable and real ! bosses talking about how i suck? colleagues having a gc where they talk about how i suck? everyone in the office hates me for no reason but i know they do and theyre just entertaining whatever i say to talk about it in the supposed gc they have that i saw off my colleagues telegram screen not even knowing what it's for.

im going crazy i really am and im not even the fun kind of bipolar! where is MY hypomania why does my depression even kick that down too? was my psyche not enough? why cant i have that endless hours of energy and great creativity i dont even care if i crash into deep depression afterward because thats what i am most of the time anyway.. i went off my meds and i didnt even go into mania i just went back to a mixed episode ! (i went back on it later) im just mad and sad and trying to find a way out... but the moment i tell the truth about the extent of how suicidal i am my psych is gonna lock me up. so i tell him i have ideations but i would never act on it. but this past few months i really came so close. if i didnt have my cats i dont know what i would have done.

[max-iwtaco]

[october 2022] yo.........

analyzing my own drawings under the cut cuz its my blog i do whatever i want

/i use all pronouns so ill be jumping between they she and he. ratio of each pronoun in this post is not the same ratio i actually prefer for myself or my sona/

its mostly very similar and the only two things that look "off" in the old art for are the lashes and shape of her hair

lashes are kinda easy cuz i dont actually like presenting too femme for too long w/o any masc elements to counter that and theres lashes consistently. idk why and also i havent done that ever since i dont think

and hair now goes up first for some reason?? also it changed in the literally the first drawing i did after the mspaint doodles (the second drawing [end of 2022])

that change also made the whole shape to be more trapezoid-like (aka WRONG)

theyre supposed to be triangle + circle* and trapezoid is very square</3 im not gonna change it now cuz i like the way it looks but i might make em more square+triangle instead (will also help w making them less thin)

it also made the hair look less ear like WHICH IS SUCH A SHAME ok heres some me lore

[first half of 2022]

so originally he just fully had animal hears that turned into hair later when i was simplifying them. the idea was that its just ears that look like hair (or hair that looks like ears)! and it actually was like that for some time

also clothes were exclusively based of off stuff i was wearing to school regularly (the blue shirt over a tee. i still have it!). same with the haircut and pimples/other weird dots on my face but that ended quickly:

[summer 2022 // late 2022]

aaaand then i got comfortable. she shirt eventually came off too

[early 2023 // mid 2023 // early autumn 2023]

to be fair i wasnt drawing myself much until recently (Gray fixed me everybody say thank you Gray) so the way she looks wasn't as consistent and i was kinda bullsitting it every time. hell a third of these files are labeled "redesign" or something similar

its still inconsistent but THIS TIME its on purpose, with the major things such as hair shape, body, tail if i remember about it being the same and minor such as body/facial hair, lashes, tits, bra strap appearing and disappearing (epic transgender moment)

fun that of all things the wolf nose, sharp teeth and the black shirt are the things that have been consistent for a while. and now cargo shorts are coming back too loll

makes me wonder what will happen next. will i keep the collar? how will the clothes change? the shapes? will i finally start drawing them with their tail? i dont know and its so exiting!!!

uh idk my name is max im an artist, a gender and a wolf. my sona has been reflecting that tru a good chunk of my life now look at this sick drawing i made in 2022

______________________

*for those who know nothing about character design, there's three shapes with which you design a character: circle square and triangle. they mean different things and are used to convey character's personality visually, for example square is seen as stable strong and static so if you're making a character like that it would make sense to use more square-like shapes

it doesnt always means square circle and triangle literally and more that bright dynamic character is going to have more sharp edges and a fast character is going to have lots of curves which is why i said that trapesiod is more of a a square

having too many different shapes on a character might make them a little confusing to look at so people usually choose one and build character of off that, i like to also have a secondary shape to make it easier for myself

there's this good vid that touches on the topic more

______________________

also fun little things i find interesting:

my art got messier where it needs to! it meand im getting better :]

even though ive always been a beast ive just recently started drawing blood and gore (and my sona reflects it)

i got more gender

its been years and there wasnt a consistent face shape for any period of time

i got more uncomfortable-looking lmao

more weird and creepy too

barks at you. bark at me back if you read the whole thing

oh the homestuck influence.....

awtizm creature

goddamn its been over a year since i started drawing myself like that

[moon-jackal]

Hi!! This is for that identity ask 💖

11, 12, 22, 29 💞💞💞

hello!!💓💓 wow its been a hot min since ive gotten an ask. these ones are Great numbers thooo

//disclaimer: long post and op doesnt know how to put all this stuff under a cut//

11. describe your ideal day

wake up late. sit outside and drink a cup of tea in the midmorning sun w my roomate. spend long hours reading, drawing, painting and dancing. take a cuddle nap. frozen pizza dinner. watch 3 episodes of a cheesy drama. go to sleep in the am, content. i have no approaching deadlines and infinite time.

12. cat or dog person?

i am a HUGE cat person, i love cats to bits!!!! theyre so🥺🥺🥺 (dogs are nice but their teeth are too big n they are sometimes too loud. cute from a distance tho.)

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

• dancing! literally all of my time is in dance class or dance rehearsal ajdjkfkf. i love it but it is Very time consuming

• reading🥰 i love to freakin read, literally whatever as long as its fiction and its got characters i relate to

• procrastinating. ngl this takes up alot of my time. yes, i am adequately ashamed. tumblr, among us, whatever im feelin atm.

• schoolwork. disgusting gross awful bad. i hate it.

• talking/hanging out w my friends. i love them

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

okay to this is harddd. im listening to so many different songs rn and i love them all. BUT if i HAD to choose, which ig i do, itd be these three:

• moon doesn’t know the way - case tape music. its a song n its in russian and i havent looked up the lyrics yet but i just,, it resonates in my bones for reasons i havent figured out yet. i saw it recommended in a tumblr post by a mutual i think?? havent been able to get it out of my head.

• bloodstains - 100 gecs. okay,, this Song. its just,, its a perfect description of how i feel on a daily basis. like i relate to this song so much. and the fact its kinda harsh on the ears is (again) PERFECT. esp the like last bit?? that sounds like ur insides are being scrambled??? yeah,,

• lost - frank ocean. ard there are so many songs out there that i resonate with on a deep level but one of these babies had to be frank ocean cuz,, his music is so good. i love it so much.

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

[bookwormcheerleader]

i was tagged by @trevorfindsthestrals (LOOK i finally got internet access on my laptop again!! Sorry it took so long) 1. Coffee or tea? tea, i had my first cup of coffee on like thursday last week 2. Black and white or color? black or soft, but not pastel, colours 3. Drawings or paintings? idk, whatever is more moving in that moment i guess 4. Dresses or skirts? dresses because i never know how to match with a skirt 5. Books or movies? how DARE you make me choose, i think books, but i wanna make movies (potentially havent really explored that yet) so it seems like the wrong answer 6. Pepsi or Coke? i dont drink fizzy drinks 7. Chinese or Italian? definitely italian on an everyday basis but i LOVE chinese too 8. Early bird or night owl? its almost midnight and i havent started my reading for tomorrow, that counts as an answer right? 9. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, unless its a milkshake 10. Introvert or extrovert? introvert, i don’t really like people 11. Hugs or kisses? ive never been kissed so hugs 12. Hunting or fishing? aesthetics of hunting but uh with fishing you can not put a hook on the line and just kinda sit there and chill without looking like the animal lover that your family judges you for being 13. Winter or summer? yes. idk im probably more of a summer person, but i also really like the implications of winter in that everything has to die in order to be reborn, plus i can’t really breathe in the heat, but i also have poor circulation in my extremities so the cold sucks ass 14. Spring or fall? spring, i like the crisp air of fall dont get me wrong, but the rebirth and the petrichor after a spring rain with a crisp breeze that doesnt chill you is just so relaxing 15. Rural or urban? i grew up in the woods so rural but i need to at least be kinda close to a hospital to avoid panicking  16. PC or Mac? pc 17. Tan or pale? is this preference, cuz i dont have one of those, but i am so white that i was the same color as my cheer uniform in high school 18. Cake or pie? cake, i dont like pie crust 19. Ice cream or yogurt? frozen yogurt tbh, it jsut tastes fresher and less heavy 20. Ketchup or mustard? my brother likes to mock me for how much i loved ketchup when i was like 7 as if it was yesterday 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? i dont like pickles 22. Comedy or mystery? can we do a hybrid where its like theyre fighting crime but have no ability to act serious, cuz im basically writing a comic book like that with @spectralflutterbeast 23. Boots or sandals? i live in a colder wetter climate so usually boots, but i love sandals 24. Silver or gold? i like white gold typically because its often a mix, it has the matching ability of silver with the warmth in color of gold 25. Pop or Rock? i grew up on steve miller and journey from my mom and simon & garfunkel from my dad 26. Dancing or singing? all i can think of is my shitty karoke the other night, so uh dancing, at least i don’t suck more at that when im drunk 27. Checkers or chess? checkers is easier and i could probably actually win, but chess is more likely to hold my attention 28. Board games or video games? we used to do family board game nights (im currently holding the winnign streak for clue because any games played without everyone dont count) (my extended family is also obsessed with card games, its how we bond, we talk shit and play cards) 29. Wine or beer? wine if i have to have one of these, i dont like fizzy stuff ever so no beer but wine dries out my mouth 30. Freckles or dimples? i have freckles, and i love it when people have dimples 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? i guess bbq 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? idk what body weight exercises includes but i have always liked lifting weights, its something im fairly good at 33. Baseball or basketball? BASEBALL IS THE BEST I LOVE IT, i miss playing it so much but its been too long for me to feel comfortable joining an intramural team 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? sudoku...i think 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? preference right, um stubble.... im not big on full beards (probs cuz my dad has always had one, seriously pics from when he was 20 we are the exact same but he has a beard, he says he hasnt shaved his upper lip since he was 16) clean shaven is nice too tho 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? i prefer no ice, but if i have to i like that ice you get in hospital cafeterias 37. Skiing or snowboarding? never been 38. Smile or game face? smirking, its the happy medium 39. Bracelet or necklace? i feel naked without any piece of my jewelry (watch on right wrist, a bracelet on my left, a necklace for me to fidget with, both sets of earrings) 40. Fruit or vegetables? fruit 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled unless its on toast 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? dark chocolate 44. Tattoos or piercings? i have two sets of piercings and i just got my first tattoo last month 45. Antique or brand new? antique unless its something i would feel like i couldnt be comfortable using, i always wind up with a very eclectic mix 46. Dress up or dress down? dress down, never really have a reason to dress up 47. Cowboys or aliens? cowboys, space gives me anxiiety 48. Cats or dogs? dogs 49. Pancakes or waffles? depends on who is making the pancakes 50. Bond or Bourne? uhhhh what 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? fantasy 52. Numbers or letters? letters 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? lotr tbh 54. Fair or theme park? fair, i grew up in puyallup (look it up, i can even sing the old theme song) 55. Money or fame? money, i want to buy my parents and aunt nice things 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? laundry (no icky wet food pieces!) {this is what @trevorfindsthestrals had i just could not have said it any better myself} 57. Snakes or sharks? ummm snakes? cuz theyre smaller and i can run from them if theyre dangerous 58. Orange juice or apple juice? orange 59. Sunrise or sunset? sunsets seem more satisfactory to me 60. Slacker or over-achiever?.....i dont’ know how to answer this question 61. Pen or pencil? pencil, unless im worried about it smudging, then i bought some erasable pens for that 62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter is more filling but i make jam every year so theres that 63. Grammys or Oscars? oscars 64. Detailed or abstract? why cant we do both, like a painting that is overall abstract but the closer you get the more you see the things that make it what it is, ya know, like life 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? idk multiple choice questions are harder to get wrong for not having enough info about a particular topic, but im good at and enjoy bsing things 66. Adventurous or cautious? i wish i was more adventurous but insecurities 67. Saver or spender? yes 68. Glasses or contacts? i dont wear either 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? what medium 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? i would like a personal trainer until i get back in the habit of it and then i would jsut need a gym buddy 72. Internet or cell phone? cell since you cna get internet on your phone 73. Call or text? social anxiety so texting  74. Curly hair or straight? mine is beach wavy 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? ive been showering in the morning because i like what it does to my hair 76. Spicy or mild? spicy please 77. Marvel or DC? wonder woman was my first favorite character, like about the time that bugs life came out because i obviously had two and the other was Flick  78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent, i like assurance but i dont like permanence 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? never been but uh im not that trusting so i probably am jsut gonna go with a no 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? chewy chips ahoy 81. Jello or pudding? jello 82. Truth or dare? im a chicken so truth 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster, ferris wheels are all of the fear with none of the fun 84. Leather or denim? I NEED BOTH I CANT CHOOSE 85. Stripes or solids? stripes and fat people lol no, solids for me 86. Bagels or muffins? bagels probably 87. Whole wheat or white? whole wheat 88. Beads or pearls? pearls, my mother was a jeweler for 13 years, i cant not 89. Hardwood or carpet? hard wood in a hall, tile or linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom and then carpet everywhere else 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? uhhhh for what, cuz it really depends  91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? i want to be like 34, not rn obviously, im enjoying being 20 and stupid, but i feel like 34 is a good age, of course thats abotu how old my bros were when i idolized them so that might be reflective of that 92. Raisins or nuts? raisins, partially because every time my dad sees nuts he says nuts for the nutty and it has become a conditioned response for me now 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? picnic 94. Black leather or brown leather? brown 95. Long hair or short hair? mines somewhere in the middle 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? wtf does the second even mean 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? i have asthma 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? i wish i could think before i talk more than i actually do 100. Asking questions or answering questions? i like to listen to people imma tag: @kiavachiisanoob @warriorsatthedisco @colecast1 and anyone lookinng for an excuse to do one of these

[grumpyonion]

kind anon gave me an excuse to answer a bunch of questions about myself cuz i know at least one person actually wants to read them so here goes

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? i do actually. it’s just a little thing but it’s nice 2: Have you ever been deeply in love? yess i have, more than once 3: Longest relationship you've ever been in? about two years i think? 4: Have you ever changed for someone? yeah, unfortunately. do not recommend  5: How is your relationship with your ex? i have no relationship with any of my exes except my most recent, and we’re friends 6: Have you ever been cheated on? yepppp 7: Have you ever cheated? nope 8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating? absolutely not. even if they’ve been “clean” for a while, my own anxiety and paranoia would not rest and i just know i’d read too much into every little thing. 9: What's the most important part of a relationship? honestly being able to like, laugh like hell together. being able to just totally let go and be 100% yourself and feel fully comfortable around that person.  10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? i havent really done “flings” before except maybe once in high school. all my relationships have been pretty committed and relatively long-term. although right now i don’t think i could do anything serious, i’m dealing w too much internal shit  11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? eh. if you’ve been together a loooong time and maybe need a couple days or so of space to keep things goin, sure. but if it’s something that’s only a couple months old and you already need a “break”, it might just not be working out.  12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? hooked up is a vague term imo but ive only ever had a single one night stand 13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? not trusting my gut, not standing up for myself, not speaking my mind about how i feel/what i want 14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? this is an impossible question 15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"? absolutely the FUCK not. age is incredibly important  16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"? not particularly??  17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet? yeah, i’ve done it 18: What do you consider a deal breaker? oh god so many things lol. bigotry, disrespect, overly selfish, emotionally immature 19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? when spending time with the person feels more like a chore than a privilege, or when the person makes you wanna fucking die lmao 20: Are you currently in a relationship? nope 21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? for sure, it hasn’t really worked for me so far (until now) but it’s possible 22: Do you think people should date their friends? i.. wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t my friend most likely 23: How many relationships have you had? SERIOUS relationships? like.. 4. including weird short-term shit? 7. including a dude i wasn’t technically dating but it kinda felt like we were? 8. the 4 are the big ones though.  24: Do you think love can last forever? i really do hope so 25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? unfortunately no 26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? if you asked me this 5 years ago i’d say fuck no. but i was once with someone my mom didn’t like and at the time i was very defensive of it cuz i was blind and in love, but looking back now i realize that person was horribly abusive and has left me with residual trauma soooo. if my mom didn’t like someone i was with, i would definitely listen to why.  27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? just ONE piece? damn. if they make you wanna die/hurt yourself, leave them. 28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? yess. i don’t think i’d ever do one again personally but they can work 29: What do you notice first about another person? their style, and the way they hold themselves. usually i get a kind of vibe from people too, so that helps 30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? lmao idk i just say im fuckin gay it’s confusing 31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? nope. in fact most if not all of my partners have in some way 32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? yes 33: Do you want to get married one day? yeah i’d like to, it’s not my top priority though  34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed? i don’t think i’d ever get a name tattooed but i’d get like matching tattoos maybe?? 35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? i used to say no but honestly i think i could now that i’m mostly out of my hormone-driven teenage years  36: Are you still a virgin? nope 37: What's more important: Looks or personality? personality is what keeps a relationship going but looks are important to get that initial interest and keep the attraction alive yknow 38: Do you enjoy love films? depends, but sometimes yeah 39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? no :( 40: Have you ever had a valentine? mmm yes i think once or twice 41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? i hate this question cuz IDK!! 42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"? i’m trying to remember if i’ve actually read through the whole thing but i can’t for the life of me remember. i think so tho?? 43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends? friends, always. although usually they are also part of the friends category so it’s complicated   44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"? nah not really 45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? uhmmmmm yes 46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"? not a real thing y’all 47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite? lol idk if they count as “famous” but Jenna and Julien babbyyyyy i love them 48: What's your favorite love song? ive got a bunch but the first one i thought of is Bloom by The Paper Kites 49: Have you ever broken someone's heart? yeah 50: If you're single, why do you think you are? because my ex broke up w me and because i’m not ready to be in another relationship yet 51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? why is this a question. poor but nice 52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? i think so. i’ve gotten pretty good at advice over the years 53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single? it comes and goes 54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? i really don’t care 55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"? nah, i appreciate having my own personal space. i can get jealous sometimes though 56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship? god no 57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? not at all. a relationship ending can be extremely upsetting to some people, and if you already struggle with mental illness a major negative event like that can exasperate it  58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? submissive 59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? i forget everything lol 60: What's your opinion on open relationships do whatever works and makes everyone happy as long as it’s consensual!  61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family? they’re important for different reasons tho i couldn’t really pick one 62: How do you define "cheating"? it’s different for everyone and every relationship, for me PERSONALLY idc if my partner like, shares a platonic kiss with their friends, or cuddles/holds hands with their friends. platonic intimacy is important and i wouldn’t wanna take that away from them. i draw the line at having sex with other people, or when romantic/serious feelings get involved.  63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? nah, do whatever 64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? kinda, but it’s cute idc 65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"? definitely