#i haven't calmed down about this at all by the way like not ONE second

[uriwonu]

pretty, pity, pity (jww)

He loudly clears his throat. “So… you’re like a camgirl?”

You wince. “I prefer streamer with benefits, but yeah.”

the one where reader is a camgirl and asks her roommate to fuck her on stream.

౨ৎ roommate!wonwoo x cam girl! mc ౨ৎ w.c: 4.9k ౨ৎ genre: pwp. minors do not interact. ౨ৎ warnings: explicit content🔞, wonwoo's a little too good at playing pretend, also he's a little mean in this (during sex), sex on livestream, use of sir (like three times), mingyu is reader's friend, uhh i think that's it? please tell me if there's anything i missed im not good at this. ౨ৎ date posted: june 07, 2025 ౨ৎ notes: title from the song novacane by frank ocean! this is also my first fic on tumblr so please be nice to me i will cry okay. i haven't written fic in ages 😭 please come to my blog and hang out i want to make friends !! masterlist | inbox

“Hey, Wonwoo-yah,” you softly call, knuckles taping gently against his half-open door.

Wonwoo looks up from his desk, pausing his game and slipping his headphones down to hang around his neck. His brows lift in that quiet way he always greets you — surprised but gentle, like he’s glad you’re there. The light from the hallway outlines your silhouette, casting a soft glow behind you.

You step in slowly, hands twisted nervously in the sleeves of your oversized sweater. It's one of his, though you’ll never admit that out loud. Your fingers fidget in the fabric as you search for the right words.

Wonwoo tilts his head, “What’s up?” he asks gently prodding you to speak whatever is making you nervous.

You open your mouth, close it again, then finally manage, “I… have kind of a weird favor to ask.” You finally admit as you plop yourself down on his bed, grabbing one of his pillows to wrap your arms around it, a makeshift shield.

He leans back in his chair. “Yes.”

You blink, face contorting in astonishment. “You don’t even know what it is.”

He smiles, soft and sincere. “Doesn’t matter. I’d do anything for you.”

That makes your stomach flip, and you have to look away for a second. “That’s… really sweet. But you might want to hear it first. I need you to…” You suck in a breath and rush it all out: “Pretend to be my boyfriend.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Sorry?” he says, blinking like he didn’t hear you right.

You force yourself to slow down, squeezing his pillow for comfort — and not that you'd ever admit it, take a massive whiff of his cologne, something that always seems to calm you. “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Wonwoo stares for a second, face blank in that quietly-processing-everything way of his. You can tell he’s trying to decide whether this is a prank, a cry for help, or some unspoken code he’s supposed to understand.

You let out a frustrated sigh and flop down on his bed, clutching his pillow tighter. “Okay. Context. Remember how I told you the pay from the studio isn’t amazing? Like, I love it, but it’s not really paying all my bills?”

Wonwoo nods, clearly still confused.

“Well, the pay is actually, really bad, like I don't make enough to cover my portion of the rent—”

Wonwoo cuts you off, “If you need me to pay more I can, it's really no problem, I just got a huge bonus for the—”

“No!” This time you interrupt, “I've got it covered, that's the point. I was complaining to a friend, and well she told me about this website…” Your words trail off giving Wonwoo a look like he's meant to use that big brain of his and fill in the blanks.

“You have a sugar daddy?” He guesses. God, for someone so smart he is also completely clueless.

“I'm a sex worker.” You admit, staring at him, waiting for his reaction.

There’s a very long silence. You wait for the judgment. The discomfort. Anything.

Wonwoo looks like he's trying to remember how to breathe,

“Uhm,” His voice is startlingly high when he speaks, in a way you've never heard, he clears his throat, “So someone you uhm…” you can see the tips of his ears going red, “had business with is being a creep so you need me to scare them off.”

You can't help the burst of laughter that bubbles out—Wonwoo? Intimidate anyone?

“No, no.” You shake you head, laughter still on your lips, “Look, I, I don't fuck any one. I'm a streamer, people pay to watch me, fuck myself, that is.”

You can feel the heat flushing to your face but at least Wonwoo isn't in better shape, the red has creeped its ways from the tips of his ears down his neck and touches his cheeks.

He loudly clears his throat. “So… you’re like a camgirl?”

You wince. “I prefer streamer with benefits, but yeah.”

“And… the fake boyfriend?”

You sigh, “I like started this false narrative around this boyfriend I had, so people wouldn't get too lost in the fantasy, because my friend shared all types of horror stories about doing this. And I guess I kind of just get myself off and tell them stories about this imaginary boyfriend I don't have and well on my last stream for reaching a fuckton of subscribers I said I'd do a request to the highest donation and well… they want my nonexistent boyfriend to fuck me. And I just, I can't ask anyone else because I can't even imagine how they would take it, like can you imagine if I asked Jihoon? That would be so embarassing. God, or Mingyu? He'd say yes but I don't think he's capable of having sex without catching feeli—

“I’ll do it.”

You slow down from your spiral, startled. “Really?”

Wonwoo nods, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “Of course.”

౨ৎ

A few days later, you're at the kitchen table, half-draped over it in shame, while Mingyu sits across from you absolutely losing his mind.

“You—” he chokes out between wheezes, “you asked Wonwoo to fuck you. On camera. In front of an audience. I—god, I’m gonna pass out. This is the greatest day of my life.”

You groan into your arms. “Stop saying it like that.”

“Like what? Like the truth? Like the guy you’ve been crushing on since forever is going to dick you down live in front of thousands of horny strangers?”

“It’s not like that—”

“It is exactly like that,” he howls. “You asked your crush to clap you like a goddamn cymbal monkey for money. What is this, fanfiction?”

You glare at him, snatching the spoon from your tea and brandishing it like a knife. “I swear to god, if you don’t shut up, I will FaceTime Yuna right now and tell her exactly why you broke up with her.”

Mingyu pales instantly, hands in the air. “Okay. Truce. Fuck, Noona. Harsh.”

You slump back into your seat, pressing your fingers to your temples. “This sucks.”

“Correction,” he says smugly, “this is your origin story. You’ve been in love with him since he "fixed" your wifi, and now you're gonna get railed on stream by him. It's the slowest burn friends-to-lovers-to-livestream-fuck arc I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s not romantic,” you mutter, glaring into your cup like it might drown you.

“Really?” Mingyu raises a brow. “So you’re telling me you're going to let the guy you’ve been mentally undressing since 2022 fill you up on camera, and then what — fist bump and call it a night?”

You don’t answer.

He grins. “That’s what I thought.”

“…Shut the fuck up, Mingyu.”

౨ৎ

Friday.

Wonwoo walks into your room just as you're adjusting the camera angle and checking the lighting. He's wearing a simple black shirt, chain at his neck, hair slightly mussed like he just rolled out of bed looking unfairly perfect.

You swallow.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he replies, then nods toward the bed. “You ready?”

Your heart is pounding. “Only if you are.”

He steps closer, eyes flicking over your outfit—an oversized sweater, one of his, and shorts so short you can barely see them—his Adam’s apple bobs slightly as he swallows.

“You look nice,” he says.

You force a laugh. “Thanks. You do too.”

That gets a real smile out of him, and your stomach flips.

You go live, and watch as the first messages roll in.

Your usuals, the ones who know you don't like to go right into.

You let yourself forget that Wonwoo's there as you fall into another version of yourself—slipping into the role like a second skin. Your eyes flicker across the screen reading the message until you find one worth responding to

tigersgaze: god i needed this, work deadlines are killing me. hope your week was better than mine.

“Aww, I'm sorry, tiger. I hope stream will help you relax.” You say leaning back, with the practiced ease of someone who's been doing this for ages.

angelface666: is this finally the stream where we meet the elusive boyfriend? mommyplease: show us your perfect tits please mommy? cumslut44: i like your sweater baby singledad95: please show me your cunt, i miss it so bad.

“Hmm, my boyfriend is here. Maybe if you're good I'll let you meet him.” There's an unspoken request in your words, and the viewers seem to get it clearly. The donations start flowing in.

You spentd a few more quiet moments just talking with your viewers, letting more people come in.

You glance to your left. He’s just out of frame, waiting. Calm. Cool. You reach out and tug him into view.

You know exactly the vision he looks on screen—his hair falls in his face, just brushing against the frames of his glasses, the sharp jawline. He sits beside you on the bed, one hand possessively on your thigh.

You watch as the chats roll in.

angelface666: oh. he's pretty. justherefory/n: god i know his dick is big. tigersgaze: i bet you look so pretty on him.

You can’t help but laugh softly. “You're right tiger, I do look pretty on him.”You slide closer to him, deliberately swinging a leg over his lap, your hips settling just against his. “They’ve been very curious about you,” you say it like it's a confession between lovers and not like it's your best friend simply playing a role.

Wonwoo’s fingers flex on your thigh. “I don't share well.” And you know he's playing his part but the truth in the statement makes you giggle, Wonwoo's never been good at sharing.

You shift your hips slightly in his lap, just enough friction to draw a sharp inhale from him.

You lean in, brushing lips against Wonwoo’s ear again.

“Ready to give them a show, baby?”

His reply?

A hand around your throat and a dangerous smile.

Wonwoo leans in. You tilt your head. And then his lips meet yours. It’s not for show. It’s not practiced.

It’s soft. Deep. Slow. Like he’s wanted to do this for a long time. You’re too breathless to keep pretending.

Your thighs clench involuntarily.

Wonwoo pulls back just far enough to brush his nose against yours. “Color?”

You blink, dazed. “Green,” you breathe.

He hums in approval, a low sound that rumbles in his chest and vibrates through you. His hand slips lower, fingers tracing the hem of your shorts, and your pulse spikes.

You look back at the chat to distract yourself.

facefucker29: hurry up and fuck already dirtywhitetee: i knew you'd look pretty with a hand around your throat y/nsdirtylittleslut: i want him to make a mess of you mommyplease: that should be me mommy i'd treat your so well

You gasp a little when his hand sneaks beneath the fabric and settles possessively on your thigh. He doesn’t move further — not yet — but the message is clear: mine.

He leans in again, lips ghosting over your ear. “You’re doing so well for me,” he whispers, just loud enough for the mic to catch. “You want me to keep going?”

You nod. Then realize they can’t see that, and breathe out, “Yes. Please.”

His laugh is low and dark. “Then beg.”

The room spins. You forgot you asked for this. You forgot you wanted him to play rough — like the dominant boyfriend your viewers fantasized about. You forgot that Wonwoo could look at you like that — hooded gaze, parted lips, one hand gripping your thigh, the other loose around your neck like he owns every inch of you.

“I said—” his voice dips, something low that has you clenching around nothing, his grip on your throat just the slightest bit tighter, “—beg.”

You almost forget the camera is even there.

“Please, Wonwoo,” you whisper, and it’s more than a performance now. “Touch me. I need you to.”

He pats your thigh gently. “Good girl.”

The words hit you like a freight train. You whimper, openly this time.

Your eyes shift back to the chat again, trying not to get lost in him—a small part of you fears it's already too late.

singledad65: i knew you'd make such a pretty sub. what a pretty mess already

tigersgaze: fuck i'm so hard already. wanna see you choking on his cock baby.

mommyplease: mommy show us your tits please please please i'm so hard.

Wonwoo shifts slightly, demanding your attention, enough for his knee to knock your legs apart, spreading them just enough for the camera to catch view of the blooming wet spot on your cotton shorts.

You feel dizzy. You’re wet — obviously, hopelessly wet — and every part of you is pulsing, aching, desperate for more. You don’t even care about the stream anymore. You only care about him.

And then, without warning, he grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head, pushing you back onto the bed.

It’s not rough — not really. Just firm enough to make your whole body light up.

“Keep your hands right there,” he says, voice like velvet-wrapped steel. “Let me take care of you.”

You nod helplessly. “Yes, Won-.” you gulp stopping yourself from saying his name aloud. You never discussed if he was okay with his name being used on stream.

He kisses down your neck, slow and deliberate, pausing just above your collarbone as his fingers graze the curve of your waist.

You can't imagine how you must look on camera right now, the image of you splayed out just for him. You almost whimper at the thought, your hips rolling up to chase friction.

But before anything else can happen, he pauses.

Pulls back just slightly. Meets your eyes.

“This okay?” he asks, quietly this time. “You sure?”

Your heart clenches.

God. Even now, with your legs spread and your body shaking and the camera still rolling, he’s checking in.

“I’m sure,” you whisper. “I trust you.”

His smile is soft. And just like that, you're ruined all over again.

“Good.” Wonwoo kisses you again — deep, filthy, and completely in control.

Your hands twitch against the pillow beneath your head, instinct screaming at you to touch him, to grab his shoulders, tangle your fingers in his hair, something — but but the larger part of you is begging you to listen, to be rewarded for being a good girl.

“You stay right there,” he murmurs. “You take what I give you.”

You nod, panting. “Yes, W-sir.”

His free hand slides slowly beneath the hem of your sweater, palm splaying flat over your stomach. He doesn’t move higher. Not yet. He waits — lets the silence stretch until your back arches off the mattress and your hips squirm beneath him.

And then he laughs, low and mean. Almost cruel, if not for the affection in his eyes.

“You’re already so needy,” he taunts. “I haven’t even touched you yet.”

His thumb brushes your bottom lip. You suck it in instinctively and the growl that slips from his throat makes your thighs clamp together.

He sees it. Of course he does.

"Open."

You do. Without question.

He pushes his thumb between your lips, slow and steady, eyes fixed on your face the whole time. You swirl your tongue around it, moaning as you suck, and the flash in his eyes makes your whole body light up like a warning sign.

He pulls his thumb free with a wet pop, then brings it down between your legs, slipping it just inside the waistband of your shorts — not enough to touch you, but enough to make your hips buck toward him.

"You're gonna be good and cum for me like this," he murmurs. "Still wearing your pretty little shorts. Think you can do that?"

“I—yeah,” you pant. “I can.”

“Good girl.”

The two words hit harder than any touch. Your whole body clenches at the sound of it. He starts to rub, slow firm circles over your panties, and your head drops back against the bed.

You’re so wet it’s humiliating. You can feel the damp fabric clinging to you, feel the friction sparking with every motion of his fingers — and you dig your nails into into your palms to keep yourself from reaching out for him.

You’re moaning now, high and choked, not even bothering to hold it in. You can’t. His voice, his hand, his weight on top of yo —it’s all too much.

“Keep your hands up,” he growls, and there’s no mistaking the real edge in his voice now. “You want to cum? You earn it.”

You nod, frantic. “Yes, yes, please—”

“You don’t get to cum until I say so.”

“Sir—!”

He presses harder. You cry out, thighs trembling, hips jerking uselessly as he works you faster. Your breathing is ragged. You’re so close it hurts.

And then—

He stops.

Your eyes fly open.

“Wonwoo—!” You cry out in shock, not even pausing to think about using his name, the nager clear in your tone.

“Shh,” he soothes, lips brushing your cheek. “You’ll get it. But first…”

His hands slip beneath your sweater, and this time he doesn't hesitate. He pushes it up, exposing your bare chest to the camera.

You had honestly forgotten about the stream—about the chat, and clearly they had noticed. Your eyes rake the comments:

singledad95: poor baby she's gone already dacefucker69: fuck i'm gonna cum. mommyplease: thank you daddy, look at mommy's perfect tits. can i cum please? tigersgaze: god i think she forgot about us, but i don't care you look so good like this baby

You gasp. You should feel embarrassed, but you’re so deep into this you don’t even care. You just want his hands back on you.

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything at first. Just stares. His lips part slightly. There’s something reverent in the way his gaze drags across your skin.

Then he looks up — into the lens. Into the eyes of everyone watching.

“She’s mine,” he says, voice low and lethal. “You can look, but you don’t get to touch. Ever.”

Then he looks down again, and he smiles — slow, devastating, like a man who knows exactly how fucked you are.

“Now beg again, baby. Real pretty for the camera.”

You choke on your own breath.

“Please, Wonwoo,” you whisper. “I need to cum. I—I need you so bad, please, I’ll be good, I swear.”

His hand slips back between your legs.

And this time, he doesn’t stop.

You don’t know if you’re begging in words anymore or just making sounds — the kind of half-choked whines you never thought would leave your mouth outside of your most desperate dreams.

And he’s still touching you, still working tight, devastating circles against your clit through the soaked fabric of your panties. Your hips buck wildly beneath him, your legs trying to close, but his free hand pins your thigh open with ease.

“Don’t fight it,” he murmurs. “You wanted to cum so bad—so do it. Cum for me, just like this. Let them all watch how sweet you sound when I ruin you.”

You gasp, a high-pitched sob, and your fingers claw into the sheets beside your head, straining to obey his earlier command to keep your hands to yourself. You're on fire, every muscle drawn tight and twitching, a livewire underneath his touch.

“You're so wet," Wonwoo growls. "You really were gonna cum for me in your shorts like a little slut, huh?”

Your whimper is confirmation enough. Your body is spiraling out of your control now.

And then he leans in — mouth brushing your ear, voice so low it’s filthy.

“I'm not even inside you yet and you're already a fucking mess.”

Something in you snaps.

Your mouth drops open in a silent scream as your orgasm slams into you. Your thighs shake, your breath catches, and your entire body locks up beneath him as he works you through it, never slowing down — rubbing mercilessly until you’re twitching and gasping and trying to twist away from his hand.

But he doesn’t let you go.

“Oh no, no, baby,” he coos, voice suddenly cruel again, deceptively sweet. “You can cum more than that.”

“Wonwoo—” you plead, voice broken.

“You’re gonna cum again. For them,” he says, nodding toward the camera, “and for me.”

Your body is oversensitive now but his hand doesn’t stop. It changes. Slower now, deeper pressure, coaxing you through the aftershocks.

You try to speak. It’s just a stuttering, useless gasp of air.

“Come on,” he says gently now. “One more. Be good.”

And then he bites you, open mouth, right over your collarbone, and that's all it takes for you to fall apart.

The second orgasm crashes over you before you’re fully recovered from the first. It drags a low moan from your lips this time, ragged and raw, and you sob out his name like a prayer as your body convulses underneath him.

Your vision goes blurry for a second.

The only thing anchoring you is the press of his hand between your thighs and the sound of his voice — murmuring quiet praises you’re barely coherent enough to understand.

“Just like that. That’s my girl.”

And you're just coming down from the last waves of your orgasm when Wonwoo shifts you, until you're once again his lap, laying with your back against to his chest, your legs hooked on both sides of his thighs, he pushes your shorts down and off. He removes your sweater too, you're completely bare, body flushed and looking all too fucked out and he hasn't even fucked you yet. Exposed and bare on his till clothed form.

You don’t even notice the camera at first.

He turns his gaze to the camera and smiles. He smirks, really — eyes heavy-lidded, lazy with satisfaction.

You're too fucked out to really pay attention, he says, “If you want more, you know what to do.”

The dings of incoming donations flood the room, one after another until Wonwoo is seemingly satisfied.

He trails a finger up your thigh, playing with your dripping pussy. He looks at the chat for confirmation, you try to, too, eyes still unfocused from pleasure as his fingers tease your core.

“You're so dirty baby, I haven't even got my fingers in you yet and you're dripping.” A sharp whine leaves your lips at his words. His finger teases your opening, before pulling away to brush lightly against your abused clit.

"Tell me, what do you want? Do you want me to touch you here?" He pauses, his breath warm on your skin as he whispers near in your ear, "Or maybe somewhere else?"

His hand slowly moves upwards, caressing your stomach, then higher to cup one of your breasts. He squeezes softly, feeling the weight and shape of it in his palm, brushing a finger against a peaked nipple. “Use your words, baby.”

“Wonwoo,” You whine, rocking your hips softly, feeling his cock, thick and hard beneath you, you feel oh so empty, “Please.”

Wonwoo slowly pushes a finger inside you, he groans softly, the sound vibrating against your skin as he continues to place gentle kisses along your neck and collarbone. "Mmm, so tight," he murmurs, slowly pumping his finger in and out, building a steady rhythm.

With his free hand, he reaches up to tangle his fingers in your hair, and pulls, hard enough to sting. He trails his lips over the sensitive skin, nipping and sucking gently as he works another finger into your slick heat, stretching you out.

"Does that feel good?" he asks, his voice rough with need. "Do you like having my fingers inside you, stretching you open?"

You nod, mouth open in a moan—you're so lost in your own world, in the pleasure, it's easy to forget that this is all for show, that this moment is just an act and Wonwoo isn't yours. But in this moment he is.

“More, please.” You whine rocking your hips, simultaneously grinding down on his clothed cock and against his fingers inside you.

His fingers fuck into you with a purpose until—“Ahhh” you moan, shaking, when he pushes against your g-spot with a determined persistence.

His eyes go sharp again as he stares down the camera, he's staking his claim. You're his.

“What do you think? Should I make her cum again like this?” He asks, a smirk on his lips as he stills his hand, you rock your hips shamelessly chasinging your release.

“Wonwoo please please please please please.” A litany of pleas leave your lips, tears nearly forming in your eyes. You're so close you can taste it.

“Don't ask me, baby.” He chuckles low and deep, unbelievably sexy. “Ask them.”

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the viewfinder, fucked out, a mess, eyes heavy lidded. You look debauched, and pretty.

“I want to cum,” Your voice is raw from all the moaning, your lips are plump from biting on them, you look the very essence of sin, “please.”

The chat explodes with tips and that seems to be enough for Wonwoo.

He kisses you like he owns you.

And maybe, in this moment, he does. The way he’s touching you says it — the way he’s holding your hips down, dragging his fingers up your thigh, says it. You can feel the tip of his cock brushing against your entrance — you hadn't even noticed he'd pulled it out of his sweatpants, and it’s not even in yet but your body is already begging.

“Ready?” he murmurs low against your throat, lips brushing your skin like a tease.

You nod, wordless. Already wrecked, slick and throbbing under him, your thighs trembling with every shallow breath.

“Words,” he reminds you, and you feel the tip press just slightly inside.

“Yes. Yes, Wonwoo, please.”

He groans like he’s been waiting to hear that all night. “Good girl.”

And then he pushes in.

Your gasp catches high in your throat, nails clawing at the sheets beneath you as he splits you open, inch by inch, his hips slow and deliberate. He’s thick, the stretch almost too much—almost, but then he bottoms out, presses flush against your body, and you swear you see white.

Wonwoo pauses there, buried inside you. His voice is a low growl when he speaks.

“Let them see you like this,” he says, staring down the camera with a smirk. “Stuffed full of me.”

You don’t even care that they’re watching. Not when he starts to move.

His thrusts are deep from the start, slow at first, but with that tight rhythm that makes your brain melt. One of his hand wraps around your throat, thumb resting just under your jaw, and the contact makes your whole body tense beneath him. The other steady on your hip, moving you like a ragdoll, his personal fuck toy as he lifts you up and down on his lap, meeting his every thrust.

“You like that?” he says, almost mockingly sweet. “Getting fucked in front of a live audience?”

“Wonwoo—” you gasp, already spiraling.

“You’re taking me so well,” he praises. “Look at that. So tight. So fucking wet.”

Each thrust punches a little sound out of you, his cock hitting that sweet spot over and over, and when he pulls your hips down to meet his, the slick slap of skin echoes off the walls. You don't even try to stop the sounds falling from your lips anymore—you're beyond pride, beyond shame.

“Gonna cum already?” he teases, kissing along your jaw, grinding deep. “Not even halfway done with you, baby.”

“I—I can’t—” you whimper.

“Yes, you can,” he growls. “You’re gonna cum around my cock like a good girl.”

The orgasm builds fast, your body tight, trembling, every muscle locking up as you struggle to hold back. But his voice is right in your ear, coaxing you through it.

“Let them watch you fall apart for me,” he whispers. “Now. Be good. Cum.”

You shatter.

It’s too much. Your vision goes white, your body clamps tight around him, and your orgasm tears through you like a storm. You cry out, maybe even sob his name, but it’s all blurred in the wave of pleasure. You can’t think, can’t breathe.

Wonwoo groans low in his throat as you tighten around him, and it’s like a switch flips. His hips snap into yours harder now, faster. His grip on your throat tightens as he chases his own release.

“You feel too fucking good,” he hisses, fucking into you like he’s about to lose control. “So perfect. Gonna cum inside you. Fill you up. You want that?”

You nod frantically, barely coherent, and that’s all he needs.

He slams in once more and holds there, hips pressed hard against you as his body trembles, his breath catching in a deep, guttural groan. You feel the heat of it, the way he pulses inside you, and it only makes your body twitch around him again.

Silence.

Except for your ragged breathing, the camera still rolling in the background, and the sound of his heartbeat thudding against your chest.

Wonwoo finally exhales.

He gently eases out of you, hand trailing softly down your thigh, and your body gives a full-body twitch—overstimulated and still shaking.

Your eyes meet his, no teasing now. Just something real.

The camera light is still on.

He gives it a final look, then leans forward, and with the same casual dominance as before, clicks it off.

Then he looks back down at you. Smirking. But softer now.

“You okay?” he asks quietly.

You nod.

But your voice is hoarse when you whisper back, “Yeah. But that didn’t feel fake.”

He just brushes the damp hair from your cheek and says, “Because it wasn’t.”

[dodger432101]

Would it be too far out of your comfort zone to write something, anything really, between Lux and a Trans man reader?

[I myself am not trans, so please forgive me if I got anything about the experience wrong.]

If someone had come up to you a month ago and said “You're gonna meet the God of Light at your workplace.”, you'd be asking what they've been smoking (and maybe if you could have some).

Now, however, you've accepted your fate as the victim of silly pranks from the God in a cartoon’s body. Sweeping up popcorn? You're getting some thrown at the back of your head. Need a light? The one above you keeps dimming just enough so that you can't see what you're doing. Testing the films? A character's gonna pop up and act off script to get a laugh out of you. And you wouldn't change any of it for the world.

After a month of knowing Lux, you have one little secret you feel you need to tell him. But you're nervous about what his reaction will be.

With how you've presented yourself, he's always referred to you as a man. It made you feel all fuzzy, happy that you were looking the way you felt was right. Though you can't help but feel you're lying to him. This wasn't how you were born. Would he feel differently about you if he knew that? Sure he flirted with you plenty, even though he seemed to present himself as a guy, so maybe he would be accepting of you. But you couldn't help your nerves.

So far you'd managed to hide the fact you were trans; taking breaks from your binder while he was otherwise distracted, keeping your hair in a hat or finding someone who'd cut it in a more masculine style. Mr Pye would help out however he could, putting on films for Lux when he saw you pulling at your binder through your work shirt. He'd always been supportive of you, gifting you some of his old clothes back when you didn't have many men’s clothes to wear. “Tell him when you feel ready, not when you think he needs to hear it.” Of course, he didn't want you to force yourself to have a conversation you weren't ready for. You'd delayed it for long enough now. You wanted to tell him.

You're sitting with the God of Light, munching on a shared bag of popcorn while you watch some old classic with him. Mr Pye had gone to get himself a drink, giving you a bit of privacy while you prepared to speak to Lux. You take a glance at the little toon next to you. His eyes are focused on the screen, his head resting on one hand while the other throws a piece of popcorn into his mouth. Right, stop delaying. You can do this. Just say what you need to, the door is right there if he doesn't take it well- oh god what if he doesn't take it well? He's the only person besides Mr Pye that's going to know. What if he gets angry at you for not telling him sooner? What if-

“Hey, you alright, handsome? I can hear your breathing over the film.” You take a deep breath, gripping onto the arm rests of your seat as you try to calm down. Lux couldn't care less about the movie anymore, his attention all on you. “What's going on, sunshine? Haven't seen you this stressed before.” He gives you a soft smile, turning in his chair so he's facing you. Well, here you go. Please don't be too mad, Lux.

“I'm trans.” The words just about spill from your mouth. You can't even look at him with the fear he'll take it wrong, eyes fixated on the movie in front of you. Lux is silent for a few seconds. Then, in your peripheral, you see him lean forward onto the armrest, head resting on his fist.

“What does that mean?”

Ah. Right. You hadn't even imagined that a God wouldn't know about this kind of topic. “It uh.. means I was… born in a body I wasn't comfortable with. So I've changed my appearance to fit into what I want to look like. And I've trained my voice to sound different to what it was before.” You find the courage to look over at him.

He blinks, looking over to the screen while he thinks before he's smiling at you. “Ok! Are you happy with how you look and sound now?”

Oh. “Uhm, yeah, just about. There's still some things I want to change but.. they require money. So I'm saving up for that.” He frowns at the notion of you not being 100% happy yet. “It's ok, Lux, I have ways to manage it. I'm doing alright for now.”

That gets his smile back. “Well alright then!” He rolls over so his back is up against his seat again. “Why’d you take so long to tell me, pretty boy? I've known ya for a whole month! Did you need to know me for a certain amount of time before I could know your big secret?” His tone is light as ever, clearly just joking with you, but you can't help but feel bad for keeping it from him for so long.

Your gaze turns to your lap. “I was worried you.. wouldn't accept me as I am now. I can't help but feel I've been lying to you for all the time I've known you. I thought you might be angry, or you'd treat me differently if you knew.” You fiddle with your hands in your lap, watching as a blue four fingered hand reaches over to lay on top of yours.

Lux is frowning when you look back up at him, but it's not an annoyed expression. His antennae are droopy. That only happens when he's.. sad. “Why would I not accept who you want to be? I don't completely understand what you mean by being trans but, I've known you as this for a month now.” His hand moves to cup your cheek, smiling as the skin warms up with your blush. “We Gods change our looks all the time. All different genders, species, sometimes we can't even be comprehended by mortal eyes.” He moves into your lap as he speaks, both hands now on your face. “I could never be angry at you for wanting to be who you are. Who you feel most comfortable being. Besides,” His eyes scan your face, noticeably lingering on your lips. “You're quite the looker right now, hot shot. You've really done a good job with making yourself a handsome guy.”

Your face is burning as you lean back in your seat to escape his grasp, your own hands hiding your face while he giggles. You feel him gently pry your hands away, his smiling face coming into view. “Well, I'm uh, I'm glad you like it.” His antennae curl into a heart shape as he leans forward.

“Oh, sunshine, I love it.” Just before his lips touch yours he pauses. He's giving you a chance to tell him no. Like hell you're doing that. You close that tiny gap, hugging him to you as you kiss the God of Light. His arms wrap around your neck, humming at the feeling of your lips against his. You jump as his tongue swipes against your bottom lip, making him pull away. “Ah, sorry, got a little carried away there.”

With a chuckle, you cuddle him to your chest, fishing some more popcorn out of the bag to feed to him. “It's ok, sweetheart, you just surprised me.” He hums in relief at that, spreading out on top of you as his attention turns back to the movie. With that weight off your shoulders, you relax into your seat, watching the rest of the film with Lux in your lap.

[leechqnsgirl]

🎧✩°｡⋆⸜ riding bf!niki for the first time

notes: first time writing a smut like this, feedback is appreciated :))

18+ | niki x fem!reader | wc : 613 | asks are open

----

"fuck." niki groans out, his hands gripping onto your hips. "need these off." he grunted, hands already working on taking off your shorts. lifting your hips up a bit to help slide them off.

now you were left completely bare, except niki's t-shirt that, despite hiding your figure, made you look so much hotter.

snaking your hands down to the belt of his jeans, you working on sliding his own pants down as niki took off his tank top.

just as he was about to flip the two of you around, being so you were on your back and him on top of you, you held a hand to his chest.

"just lay back, baby." you encouraged, your hands playing with the hair at the back of his neck. you knew he was sensitive there.

sliding down slowly onto his length, you couldn't help but let out a shaky moan. shutting your eyes until you were all the way down.

taking a peak over at your boyfriends face, you can tell he was just starting to lose it. this new position was playing with his head too much. you taking the initiative this time, you're the one giving him the lazy eyed stare while his are tight shut with his head thrown back.

you haven't even moved properly yet and he feels so far gone.

finally you start moving your hips, rising up and down at an even pace. slowly increasing your speed.

and fuck, was looking at you a huge mistake.

he felt his cock twitch, you looked too perfect. your baby hairs sticking to your face, neck glistening with sweat and your hips never letting up. why the hell haven't you ever ridden him before?

he pulled himself up, leaning on his elbows as he dragged your face down to his. he had to kiss you. he had to quiet himself down. the noises he was letting out were pathetic. he was whining and whimpering over the feeling of you riding him.

you let go of the kiss, looking him in the eyes now as you grabbed one of his hands and led to in between the both of you.

catching the hint, he rubbed your clit so perfectly. it wasn't long since that when you moaned out, "fuck, niki, baby...im close." he nodded his head, "me too, i-i cant hold out. you feel so fucking good." he groaned, grabbing a handful of your ass with his empty hand.

he had come first, hugging your body tightly against his as he hid his face in your neck. "fuck, y/n, s-stop." he muttered, the overstimulation hitting him quickly. "h-hold on, I'm right there, baby. just o-one second." you whined out, hips moving faster as you chased your orgasm.

moaning out his name, you'd came, legs shaking a bit as you pulled away from his tight embrace.

"fucking hell, babe. you're crazy." he laughed, falling back onto the bed as he caught his breath. "mm, you were so cute baby. i never heard you make those noises before." you teased as you leaned forward, laying your head on his chest, still cockwarming him.

he puffed out a breathe of air, not replying out of embarassment. "im definitely riding you again. I loved hearing you all whiny for me."

he sat up abruptly. "okay, how about we take a shower now. hm? after that we can decide if you'll... ride me again."

he slid your shirt off, carrying you to the bathroom bridal style.

placing a kiss to your shoulder, he muttered out a quiet I love you. one that you might've missed if not for the calm and quietness of the night.

[shokocide]

ONLY YOU - GETO SUGURU

summary. Geto Suguru built a world with hatred, chose conviction over compassion. But when you smiled at him—looked at him like he could be human, he’s tearing it all down, piece by piece, just to be near you.

word count. 12.9k (whoopsie daisy)

content. mdni fem! reader, canon-divergent au, slowburn, geto being torn between ideology and love, angst, mutual pining, tension tension tension, forbidden romance, emotional whiplash, pet names, fluff, smut, oral (fem rec.), p in v, cowgirl, praise, creampie, pillow talk, geto falls so hard

author's note. started bawling watching hidden inventory arc again so i thought of this

They infest the world like vermin. Powerless, ignorant, and yet so loud. So demanding. Non-sorcerers—monkeys, as he calls them—have always been the root of everything cursed. A plague that breeds more curses with every selfish desire and fear they exude.

Geto Suguru once believed it was his duty to protect them. To save them from the horrors they couldn’t see. But experience breeds bitterness. Enlightenment, as he now calls it, showed him the truth: salvation doesn't lie in protection.

It lies in eradication.

A world without monkeys, a world without curses. It’s a beautiful dream, one he's willing to stain his hands for.

And nothing—no one—was ever meant to come between him and that dream.

Until you did.

-

The first time he sees you, it’s by pure accident.

You’re not supposed to be there. That part of town, that street, that hour—it belongs to his world now, infested with the filth of curses and the chaos of the jujutsu underground. Yet there you are, a non-sorcerer in every sense of the word, standing beneath the awning of a store with a grocery bag in your hand, humming to yourself as if the world isn’t rotting around you.

Suguru notices you from across the street. He shouldn’t have. He was mid-conversation with one of his followers, something about an exorcism gone wrong—but then his eyes flicker to you. Just for a second. He looks away.

And then looks back.

There’s something about the way you move. The softness. The calm. You’re not like the others—screaming into their phones, laughing too loud, careless in a world that demands caution. No. You're not like them at all.

He can’t explain it, but for the first time in years, the word “monkey” doesn’t come to mind.

He watches you turn the corner and vanish from sight. His follower asks him if something’s wrong.

Suguru only says, “No. It’s nothing.”

But it isn’t nothing. It’s the start of the unraveling.

You don’t hear him at first.

You're crouched down, trying to retrieve a tangerine that’s rolled out of your bag and into the gutter, muttering something under your breath about how this always happens when you try to save plastic. You don’t even register the footsteps behind you until a voice—smooth and strangely calm—cuts through the night air.

“You. I haven’t seen you around here.”

You freeze. Straighten. Turn slowly.

There’s a man standing a few feet away. Long, dark hair tied back loosely into a half-bun, strands falling around his face, and dressed in traditional monk’s robes that seem too pristine for the dusty setting—he stands out, like a figure misplaced in time.

“Uh... I don’t come this way often,” you say cautiously, fingers tightening around your bag. “Just passing through.”

Suguru studies you. You can feel it—his eyes tracing every detail of your face, the slight tremble in your fingers, the way you still haven't stepped back even though you probably should. Most people flinch under his stare. Most people recognize something dark in him.

You don’t.

And that’s what makes it worse.

He should walk away. Let you disappear down that alley and never think of you again.

He hums, the sound low in his throat. “That so?” A small, unreadable smile tugs at his lips. “Not many outsiders stumble this deep into our territory. Especially not alone.”

Your fingers tighten around the strap of your bag, a chill racing up your spine despite the sun overhead. “Didn’t realize this was anyone’s territory.”

“It is now,” he says simply, gaze never leaving yours. “You should be more careful. Not everyone around here is as kind as I am.”

The words land oddly. Kind. There's nothing particularly kind about the way he watches you—intensely, like he’s trying to solve a puzzle you didn’t know you were part of.

But still you don’t move. Something about him roots you to the spot.

“You live around here?” he asks.

You nod slowly. “Not far.”

He hums. “Strange. I’d remember seeing you.”

There’s a pause. His gaze lingers just a second longer—heavy, unreadable—and then:

And without another word, he turns and walks away—robes whispering against the ground, the sound of his steps fading as quickly as he appeared.

You're left staring after him, unsure if you feel safer or more on edge than before.

-

It happens at a gathering—not loud or chaotic, but something ritualistic in nature. People flock around low fires and soft chanting, incense curling into the air like ghosts. You’re there again. This time, you linger. You observe. A stranger standing just close enough to the edge to be noticed.

He sees you first.

You haven’t spotted him yet—your gaze is fixed on a group of followers weaving through the crowd, your expression unreadable. Suguru watches you from a distance, arms folded inside the loose sleeves of his monk's robe, hair half-tied and swaying as the breeze catches it.

You’re back. He doesn’t know why that matters to him, only that it does.

He makes his way toward you—not with urgency, but purpose. There’s a small pause before he speaks, voice low enough to only reach you.

“Curious little thing, aren’t you?”

You turn, surprise flickering across your face before recognition softens your features. You don’t smile—but you don’t frown either.

“You,” you say again, breath catching on the word. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“I live here,” he says, tone even. “You’re the visitor.”

You don’t answer right away. His eyes search yours—calm but calculating. As if trying to decide what box to place you in. Friend, enemy, or something else entirely.

“I wanted to understand,” you say quietly, “what this place really is.”

He tilts his head slightly. “And what do you think so far?”

“I’m still deciding.”

That gets the ghost of a smile from him. Something restrained, but present.

He takes a step closer. “It’s dangerous to linger in places you don’t understand.”

“I’ve been in worse,” you say, lifting your chin just a little.

His eyes narrow, intrigued.

He nods, gaze lingering a beat too long. 

And then he turns, leaving you standing there, heart thrumming a little too loud in the quiet.

-

The day is warm. Quiet. The kind of peace that feels too fragile to last.

You take your time along the sidewalk, admiring how the sunlight filters through the trees, the way it paints soft gold over laughing children and weary parents sprawled across picnic blankets. For once, it feels like the world isn't spinning too fast.

But then you see him.

Under the shade of a tree, seated alone—him.

That man again.

His gaze sweeps the park slowly, dark eyes sharp and distant, like he’s cataloging each face with a kind of silent disdain. He looks… out of place. Not just in posture, but in presence—something about him hums with restrained tension, like a string pulled too tight.

You hesitate, curious. The last time you met, he intrigued you. Now, you’re drawn in by the quiet contradiction of him: monk’s robes draped over a body too tense, too sharp, to belong to someone at peace. A face too beautiful to hold that much bitterness.

Still, you walk toward him.

He notices you when you’re a few steps away. The tension doesn’t leave him entirely—but something in his expression shifts. His mouth twitches, not quite a smile, but close. His eyes lose some of that cold edge, replaced by something else.

Curiosity. Amusement. Interest.

He doesn't speak. Not yet. He's too busy trying to figure you out.

Why you? Why does the sight of you not repulse him like the others? Why does your presence settle into his chest instead of rotting beneath his skin like everyone else’s?

It can’t be your face—no, he isn’t that shallow.

It’s something else. Something quiet. Something dangerous.

And before he can overthink it—

“Hi!” you greet, voice soft and light. Your smile is easy, unguarded. Like you’ve never had to be afraid of someone like him.

Suguru’s heart kicks hard against his ribs.

“So we meet again,” you add, tipping your head to the side. “Quite the coincidence.”

He hums, eyes still locked on you, like he’s trying to read between your words.

You shift your weight slightly, brows raised, smile unwavering.

“Twice is a coincidence,” you say. “Thrice is fate. Maybe we should get to know each other.”

Something tightens in his chest. Normally, that kind of line from a non-sorcerer would have him scoffing, turning away, brushing it off with a sneer. But you’re different. He doesn’t want to turn away.

He wants to stay. To answer you. To know why you make the noise in his head quiet down for a moment.

So, for once, Suguru Geto doesn’t walk away.

Instead, he shifts, patting the spot next to him on the grass.

“Then maybe,” he murmurs, “you should sit.”

You blink at his response, a little surprised. You hadn’t expected him to entertain you, let alone invite you. But you don’t question it. Instead, you lower yourself beside him, settling into the grass, a respectful distance apart.

For a few seconds, you sit in silence.

Then, your voice cuts through it gently, “So… do you come to this park often?”

His eyes flick toward you, amused. “That’s a terrible opening line.”

You laugh. “Maybe. But it worked, didn’t it?”

A soft huff escapes him. Almost a chuckle.

You glance at him from the corner of your eye. “So… what do you do?”

He pauses, considering you. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m curious.”

That piques him more than it should. His gaze lingers on you—your open expression, the lack of wariness in your eyes.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

A beat of silence. Then he shrugs, eyes drifting back to the crowd in front of him. “Let’s just say I lead a very... isolated life.”

You smile. “That’s not ominous at all.”

Another quiet laugh, and you swear it’s the first time you’ve truly heard it. Soft. Warm. Like it doesn’t belong in someone like him.

“You have a name?” you ask.

He glances at you again, something unreadable passing through his expression.

“…Suguru.”

You repeat it quietly. “Suguru.”

The way it rolls off your tongue makes his chest tighten.

“And you?” he asks, almost cautiously.

You give your name, and something strange happens when he hears it. His gaze sharpens for a moment—like he’s locking it into memory. Like it’s important.

And then, like the sharpness never existed, he relaxes again, leaning back on his palms. The sunlight filters through the trees, catching on his dark hair, the soft sway of his robe.

“Do you always talk to strangers in parks?” he asks.

“Only the ones who wear monk robes and look like they have secrets.”

He huffs a quiet laugh again. “You’re strange.”

You smile, eyes on the sky. “So I’ve been told.”

And beside you, Suguru thinks maybe—just maybe—strange isn’t so bad after all.

-

It’s late when the fire dies down. Most of the followers have retreated to their quarters, leaving only ash and silence in their wake. Suguru remains seated, legs folded beneath him, back straight despite the exhaustion tugging at his limbs.

But he can’t rest. Not with you on his mind.

He should’ve known this would happen. Should’ve turned you away the second he saw that spark of curiosity in your eyes. Should’ve told you to run, to stay far from places like this—from people like him.

Instead, he let you stay. Let you speak. Let you look at him like that—like he wasn’t some twisted, broken thing. Like he could still be good.

Foolish.

He exhales slowly, pressing his knuckles against his lips, as if trying to physically restrain the thoughts crawling up his throat.

He doesn’t even know you. And yet—

The way your voice softens when you’re unsure. The slight tilt of your head when you’re thinking. The way you listen—not just to respond, but to understand. He remembers all of it.

Why do I care?

Inferior. Helpless. A breeding ground for curses. The root of everything he’s come to despise.

But you?

You make him hesitate.

That alone is dangerous.

Suguru’s hand tightens into a fist, jaw clenched. He closes his eyes and tries to smother the thought before it fully blooms—but it’s already too late.

What am I doing? he thinks. Why does it feel like I’m slipping back into the person I used to be?

A person who protected people like you.

He tells himself it’s weakness. A fleeting curiosity, nothing more. It’ll pass. It has to.

But when he pictures your face—gentle, confused, lit by firelight—it doesn’t feel fleeting at all.

It feels like the beginning of a crack.

One that threatens to ruin everything he’s built.

-

It had been happening slowly—so slowly he hadn’t even noticed it at first.

The way his feet wandered to the same park when he had no reason to be there. The way he scanned faces in a crowd, hoping—no, expecting—to see that familiar smile again. That warm, soft voice still echoing faintly in his mind days after their last meeting.

And Manami noticed.

She always noticed.

“Suguru,” her voice cuts into his thoughts one evening, when the sun is dipping behind the rooftops and the village has quieted. “You’re different now.”

He barely glances her way. “How so?”

She scoffs. “You know what I mean. You’ve been zoning out during gatherings, missing details, forgetting things. You hardly speak unless spoken to. And it’s been happening ever since—” she pauses, eyes narrowing, “—ever since you met that monkey at the ritual two weeks ago.”

There’s a sharp shift in his energy.

His brows draw in, eyes narrowing. “Don’t call her that.”

That alone is enough for her to raise her brows, a slow, sardonic smile tugging at her lips. “Oh? Her, is it?”

Suguru doesn’t respond. His jaw ticks. His posture grows stiff and tall.

“Oh, please,” Manami drawls. “Don’t tell me you’ve caught feelings for someone like her.”

His silence is louder than a scream.

Manami crosses her arms, unimpressed. “She’s a non-sorcerer, Suguru. A human like all the rest. You said it yourself—curses are born of them. They are the root of all evil. Have you forgotten?”

His voice is low. Cold. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“Then what is this?” she snaps. “You think you’re subtle? You think we don’t see the way you soften when she’s mentioned? The way you’ve started hesitating?”

His lips part as if to defend himself—but there are no words.

Because she’s right.

Because he is hesitating.

Because something in him fractures every time he hears you laugh, or watches the way your eyes light up when you speak. You were supposed to be like the rest. But you’re not. Why aren’t you?

And worse than that… he doesn't want you to be.

-

It was quiet here. Tucked away behind the village's outer border was a secluded hillside where the wind whispered through tall grass, the sun dripping gold over the landscape. A rare pocket of peace in a world Suguru had deemed far too polluted.

He stood at the edge of the hill, arms crossed, eyes far off into the horizon—but his thoughts weren't on the view.

They were on you.

Every smile, every word, every accidental brush of your fingers against his arm played like a loop in his head. He hated it. Hated the way you lingered.

He was a leader. A savior. A visionary. What would his followers think if they saw how his mind drifted—who it drifted to? A non-sorcerer. A monkey. The very thing he’d sworn to cleanse from this world.

He shouldn’t feel this way.

And yet—

“Oh,” your voice cut gently through the breeze. “I didn’t realize you would be here.”

He turned, eyes catching yours.

You were smiling—but it faltered the moment he said nothing.

He should ignore you. He should walk away. But he didn't. Couldn't. And when your expression shifted—confusion curling into something softer, something hurt—something twisted painfully in his chest.

“Are you okay?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Did I… do something wrong?”

He should’ve stayed silent.

But his voice came out low, harsh. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “What…?”

“You don’t belong here,” he said, sharper this time. “Not in this part of town. Not around people like me.”

Your face crumpled with the force of the words, confusion morphing into disbelief. Why did it sting so much?

You’d only spoken a handful of times. Just simple conversations, nothing deep. So why did it feel like your heart had dropped into your stomach?

“What do you mean by… don’t belong?” you asked quietly, voice trembling.

But he didn’t answer. He couldn’t.

His jaw clenched, and without another word, he turned and walked away.

Each step felt like a betrayal.

Each step felt like a dagger he drove into his own chest.

Because the further he got from you, the more unbearable the distance became.

And he couldn’t help but think—

If he looked back even once… he wouldn’t be able to leave.

-

The temple was quiet.

The kind of silence that weighed heavy on Suguru’s shoulders as he stood alone in the dimly lit chamber, candlelight casting flickering shadows across the walls.

He’d been pacing—he didn’t realize it until he stopped, breathing uneven, fists clenched at his sides.

What he’d said to you echoed in his mind.

You don’t belong here.

A lie. One wrapped in truth, but still a goddamn lie.

You did belong—at least, you did to him. Somehow. Somewhere between those small, accidental conversations and the way your voice softened just for him. You’d become the only thing that made him feel real. Not a leader, not a prophet, not a killer. Just… a man. A person.

And now you were gone.

He dragged a hand through his hair, gripping the strands at the roots like the pain might anchor him.

He had to push you away.

Had to protect his ideals, his vision, his purpose.

Curses wouldn’t vanish if he let himself fall for a non-sorcerer. The world wouldn’t change if he let himself be selfish.

But—

Was it worth it?

Suguru stared blankly at the altar before him, its presence suddenly meaningless. Cold. Hollow.

Was it worth pushing away the only person who made him feel human again after nearly a decade of drowning in blood and faith and fury?

His throat tightened.

And for a brief, broken second…

He wasn’t sure anymore.

You try.

Every time you see him, you try.

A soft “hi” that gets ignored. A hesitant smile met with indifference. A greeting that dies in your throat as he walks past you, eyes trained ahead like you don’t exist.

And still, you try.

Sometimes, you catch him looking. Just for a second. A flicker of something in those dark eyes before he schools his face and turns away like it never happened.

The confusion eats at you. The pain makes a home in your chest.

What did you do?

Why won’t he even look at you?

-

It’s maddening.

The way you keep seeking him out. Like you haven’t realized yet—like you still think there’s something good in him. Something worth reaching.

He wishes you’d stop.

He wishes he had it in him to be cruel. Maybe then you’d let go.

But you don’t. You keep smiling. You keep trying.

And it breaks something in him.

Because every step you take toward him feels like it drags him further away from who he’s supposed to be.

-

The day is quiet. The air hangs heavy with tension as you find him once again, standing beneath a shrine’s shaded archway.

His jaw tightens when he sees you, but he doesn’t walk away this time.

Not this time.

“I want to talk,” you say, voice soft.

He exhales slowly. “What do you want?”

You blink. Your mouth opens—then closes. You hadn’t expected him to ask that. Not after everything.

But you gather the courage. You’ve held it in too long.

“I want to know why you’ve been pushing me away,” you say, voice trembling. “I want to know what I did wrong.”

Silence.

The kind that stretches and suffocates.

Suguru’s eyes fall shut. He stays like that for a moment, shoulders stiff, hands clenched at his sides. He’s thinking. Battling.

When he speaks, it’s low. Almost a whisper.

“You didn’t do anything.”

Your breath catches.

“Then why—”

“Because I’m not the person you think I am.”

His voice hardens. Cold. Controlled. But there’s something beneath it. Something cracked.

“I used to believe jujutsu existed to protect people like you. But now… I know better.” His eyes meet yours, and they’re not empty. They’re burning. “The world is rotting because of non-sorcerers. Because of monkeys who can’t see what’s crawling around them—what we have to fight.”

You flinch at the word.

“But then you came along,” he bites out, like the confession tastes bitter on his tongue. “And I don’t know why, but I can’t hate you. I should. Everything in me says I should.”

A pause. His voice drops, quieter, more raw.

“But I can’t.”

You say nothing. The ache in your chest is too loud. His eyes flicker, searching your face for something—maybe disgust. Maybe fear.

But you’re still there.

And he hates that too.

You take a shaky breath, eyes never leaving his. He’s expecting you to run, you can feel it. Expecting you to look at him the way everyone else eventually did—with fear. With disgust. Like he’s a monster beyond saving.

But you don’t.

Instead, your voice comes out quiet. Soft. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”

Suguru’s expression falters, barely. “What?”

You take a step closer. “You don’t have to do all of this—carry this weight alone, live with this hate. I—I don’t know how to convince you. I probably can’t. But I know you have it in you to see the bright side of things.”

He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “The bright side?” he echoes, voice sharp. “There is no bright side. There never was.”

“But you used to believe in one,” you say. “You wanted to protect people. That has to mean something.”

He shakes his head, almost violently. “It meant something when I thought people like you were worth protecting. When I thought they deserved it.”

“And now?”

“Now I know better,” he says coldly. “The world doesn’t deserve jujutsu. It never did. Curses exist because of you. Because of all of you.”

“Then why not hate me?” you whisper.

That silences him.

You step closer. “If it’s so easy, if we’re all the same to you—then why not hate me too? Why not get rid of me like you would the others?”

His lips part, but no words come out.

“I’ll tell you why,” you say, softer now. “Because you don’t believe all of that. Not deep down. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be standing here trying to convince yourself it’s true. You wouldn’t be struggling so hard to push me away.”

He flinches. Barely noticeable—but you see it.

“I don’t know what happened to you,” you whisper, “or how much it hurt. But I know what I see when I look at you. And it’s not a monster.”

His hands curl into fists. He looks away. “You don’t understand.”

“Then help me,” you plead. “Let me understand. Let me be there for you.”

His throat bobs with a hard swallow. You don’t know if he’s trembling or just trying not to. The silence stretches again, thicker this time.

When he speaks, it’s barely above a whisper.

“You’ll get hurt.”

“Maybe,” you say. “But maybe it’s worth it.”

That—that—makes him look at you. And this time, his eyes don’t burn with hate. They shimmer with something unbearably human.

Fear. Guilt. Longing.

And beneath it all, something he’s too scared to name.

His eyes don’t leave yours now.

There’s something in them that wasn’t there before. Something soft. Fragile. Like the dam he’s built for so long is beginning to crack.

You take one tentative step closer, careful not to startle the moment.

“Can I…?” You don’t finish the question. Your hand lifts gently, hesitantly—just high enough to reach for his. You’re not sure if he’ll take it, swat it away, or disappear entirely.

But he doesn’t move.

And that’s an answer in itself.

Your fingers brush his knuckles.

He inhales sharply.

They’re calloused, strong—but they twitch under your touch, like your skin burns him in a way he can’t fight. Still, he doesn’t pull away. If anything, he leans closer.

Your hands don’t fully link. They just rest there, barely touching—just enough to feel the tremble in each other’s palms.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmurs. “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”

“Maybe,” you whisper, “but I think I want to.”

His eyes fall to your lips, then dart away like he’s ashamed of even thinking about it. Like he’s afraid that giving in, even for a second, would shatter everything he’s built—his ideals, his anger, his carefully crafted distance.

But he doesn’t step back.

You shift, just slightly, to be closer. The space between you is barely there now. Your faces just inches apart, the air shared, electric.

Neither of you moves in.

Neither of you moves away.

A breath. A beat. A heartbeat too loud.

And then, his voice—hoarse and low, like gravel under his tongue.

“This is dangerous.”

You meet his eyes. “I know.”

And for a moment, just one flicker of a second, his forehead tips forward. Barely brushes yours. You don’t know if it’s accidental or not—but it sends your pulse into chaos.

He lingers there. Breathing you in.

Still not kissing you. Still not letting go.

And somehow, that restraint is more intimate than anything else could be.

His hand shifts in yours, and you almost think he’s going to pull away.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, his fingers tighten around yours—just for a second. Just enough to make your breath hitch. Just enough to tell you everything he’s trying not to say.

And then, he lets go.

The absence of his touch feels like a hollow echo down your spine.

“I should go,” he says quietly, almost like it pains him.

“Oh… oh, alright,” you manage, voice softer than you intended.

He takes a step back, but his eyes don’t leave yours. There’s a war in them—between the man who’s supposed to hate you and the one who just held you like you meant something.

And still, he stares.

Until he finally looks away.

Turns.

Walks.

And you’re left standing there with the ghost of his touch clinging to your fingers and a heart that refuses to slow down.

-

You lie awake that night, eyes tracing the ceiling in the quiet of your room, but your mind is somewhere else—with him.

The look in his eyes when he held your hand lingers like smoke in your lungs.

He’s not a kind man. Not anymore. You know that. He’s said as much, shown it in the way he speaks about the world. About people like you.

Monkeys, he called them. You.

But when he looks at you… it’s different. Softer. Torn.

And for some reason, you believe—you know—that the boy he used to be is still in there somewhere. Buried under the weight of bitterness and pain, but not gone.

You saw it.

You felt it in the way his hand tightened around yours like he was scared to let go.

There’s light in him still. Flickering. Struggling. But it’s there.

And maybe you’re foolish for thinking you can coax it out of him. That your presence—your words—could ever be enough to untangle the darkness that’s wrapped around his heart like a vice.

But hope is a stubborn thing.

And you have so much of it—for him.

Because no matter how much he pushes you away, how much venom he spits when he speaks of your kind…

You know he’s capable of more.

You’ve seen it.

And you’re not ready to give up on him yet.

-

He sees you before you see him.

Or maybe you notice him first—he doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that this time, you don’t smile. You don’t wave. You don’t walk up to him like you always do, like he’s something familiar and safe.

No. This time, you look away.

You stand your ground where you are, eyes fixed on something else—anything else. Your shoulders are squared, posture firm, but he knows better than to think you’re unaffected.

Because he can feel the shift. The distance.

You’d always been the one to reach out. Always the one to bridge the gap. But not today.

And he hates the silence more than he thought he would.

Suguru stays still for a moment, watching you from across the space. The wind brushes through your hair, and for a fleeting second he’s struck by the quiet resolve in your expression.

There’s no malice there. No bitterness. Just… a calm understanding. Like you’d come to terms with something.

And that unsettles him more than your presence ever did.

Because he’s thought about you. More than he should’ve. More than he wants to. And when he walked away that day, he’d told himself it was for your own good. That he was protecting you from someone like him.

But now he wonders if he’s only succeeded in pushing away the one person who saw him for more than what he’d become.

He wants to go to you. Say something—anything. Break the silence that’s eating at his chest like acid.

But what could he even say?

That he misses the sound of your voice?

That your absence feels like a wound he doesn’t know how to treat?

That he’s afraid of what he feels when he looks at you?

Instead, he just stands there. Still. Silent.

And you don’t look back.

Not even once.

He wonders what’s changed.

Why you won’t look at him. Why you won’t smile.

But the truth is—you’ve been wondering too.

You’ve thought about him more times than you’d care to admit. About the way he looked at you that night, how his touch lingered just a little too long, how it meant something. And then how he left—cold, distant, like none of it mattered.

You realized then: he’s pushing himself away from you. Building those same walls you tried to gently tear down.

And it hurts.

Of course you still want him to change. To see the beauty in things, the warmth, the light. To remember what it feels like to hope. But you don’t want to force that change onto him. You don’t want to be a burden—a non-sorcerer girl clinging to an idealistic dream of saving a man carved from tragedy.

You know he can be better. You’ve seen it—in those brief moments when his gaze softens, when his voice lowers just for you. It’s there. Beneath all the anger and grief and resentment… there’s still something left of the kind boy he used to be.

But you want him to find that boy on his own.

Not for you. Not for anyone else.

You want him to choose himself.

So you stay where you are. You don’t look at him. You don’t approach.

Because if he wants to change—if he truly wants to be better—

He’ll come to you.

And he does. He takes a step toward you.

Then stops.

Your back is turned, your shoulders stiff. You’re not smiling. You’re not laughing. You’re not you—not the version of you he’s grown used to. And for a man like him, who once craved solitude, the silence now feels suffocating.

He swallows hard.

Why aren’t you coming to him?

Why aren’t you trying anymore?

Because deep down, he knows—he knows he doesn’t deserve it.

Not after the words he said. Not after he looked you in the eye and tore down every glimmer of connection you built between each other. He told himself it was the right thing to do. That keeping you away was protecting his ideals, his world, his mission.

But now… with you just a few feet away, still and distant… it doesn’t feel right anymore.

He stares at the back of your head, fists clenched at his sides.

He wants to go to you. To say something, anything. But what would he even say?

"I’m sorry I made you believe I cared, just to shove you away?"

No. That would be a lie.

He does care.

Too much.

And maybe that’s the problem.

You glance over your shoulder, just once—and the look in your eyes is like a dagger to the gut. Not angry. Not cold.

Hurt.

It shatters him.

Because even now, even like this—you’re not trying to make him feel guilty. You’re not yelling or demanding anything from him. You’re just standing there, brokenhearted but still kind. Still hopeful in that quiet, selfless way.

You deserve better.

And he hates that he might be the reason you stop believing people can change.

But he’s not ready yet.

So he turns.

And walks away.

And each step tears something inside him apart.

-

It’s raining. Hard.

Cold droplets soaking through your jacket, clinging to your skin, chilling you to the bone—but you don’t care. You just needed air. Space. Somewhere to think, to breathe, to try and forget the ache that’s been lodged in your chest since the last time you saw him.

You don’t know why you’re walking in this part of town.

Maybe you hoped to see him. Maybe not.

But the moment you do, every thought stutters to a stop.

He’s there.

Standing just under the edge of a narrow awning, soaked anyway, like he didn’t bother to move when the rain started. His hair—dark and long, tied up loosely—is drenched and clinging to the side of his face. His monk’s robe sticks to his frame, heavy with water. He looks like a ghost.

But his eyes—those weary, haunted eyes—lock onto you like you’re the only thing still real in this world.

You stop walking.

Your heart skips.

He opens his mouth, hesitates, then takes a step into the rain toward you.

“Why are you out here?” he asks, voice low, rough—like he hasn’t spoken in hours.

You shrug. “I could ask you the same.”

He runs a hand through his wet hair, exhaling harshly. “You shouldn’t be out here. It’s freezing.”

“I’m fine.”

You say it too quickly. He notices.

For a moment, neither of you speak. The rain keeps falling between you. Loud. Unforgiving. Then—

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he says suddenly, his voice trembling in a way you’ve never heard. “But I thought if I pushed you away, I’d stop feeling whatever this is.”

You blink, stunned. “Suguru…”

“I’m not a good person,” he goes on, stepping closer, slow but desperate. “I’ve killed people like you. I still believe the world would be better without non-sorcerers—but I can’t make myself believe it when it comes to you.”

Your breath hitches.

He’s standing in front of you now, so close you can feel the warmth of his body even through the downpour. His fingers twitch at his sides. Like he wants to touch you. Like he’s begging himself not to.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” he whispers, rain dripping from his lashes, “I just… I needed you to know.”

Your heart breaks.

And heals.

And breaks again.

You take one small step forward, tilting your head up to look at him fully.

“I know,” you whisper. “I’ve known.”

Then your hand reaches for his.

And this time—he doesn’t pull away.

His fingers close around yours, almost hesitant—like he’s still not sure he deserves this. Deserves you. But when you don’t pull away, when you step in even closer until there’s barely an inch between you, something in him cracks.

You look up at him, rain clinging to your lashes, sliding down your cheeks like tears you never shed.

He breathes your name. Like a prayer. Like a curse.

You don’t even know who leans in first. Maybe it’s both of you.

And then—

His lips press to yours. Soft. Careful. Like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he touches you too roughly.

Your hands curl into the soaked fabric of his robe, gripping onto him like he’s the only steady thing in this storm. And he is. He always was, even when he pushed you away. Even when he hurt you.

The kiss deepens. It’s not perfect—it’s desperate. Messy. His lips are cold but the way he kisses you is warm. Feverish. Real. You feel every inch of his restraint shatter beneath your fingers, every breathless exhale like a confession he can’t bring himself to speak.

When you finally pull apart, you’re both gasping. Rain dripping off your faces. His forehead rests against yours.

“You should hate me,” he whispers. Broken.

You shake your head, voice trembling, “No. Stop giving me reasons to.”

And he kisses you again. This time harder. Like he’s sorry. Like he’s trying to make you understand everything he can’t say.

It’s rougher—less careful. Like he’s trying to memorize you. Etch the shape of your mouth into his soul before his ideals take him too far again. Your back hits the wall of the temple just behind you, the cold stone forgotten under the heat of his touch. His hands tremble where they hold your waist, like even now, he’s scared of crossing a line.

You pull back just enough to look at him—lips kiss-bitten and wet from the rain, hair sticking to his forehead, eyes full of conflict.

“Why do you keep doing this?” you ask, breathless. “Why do you keep coming back if you’re just going to leave again?”

His eyes close like your words cut deeper than any blade. “Because I don’t want to hurt you,” he breathes.

“Then don’t,” you whisper. “Stay.”

It’s such a simple word. But to him, it sounds like an entire world he's no longer a part of.

“I can’t,” he says, barely audible.

You swallow hard. “Because of them? Your followers? Your mission?”

His silence is answer enough.

You shake your head slowly, eyes searching his. “You’re still human, Suguru. You still have a heart. I’ve seen it.”

He lets out a shaky breath, resting his forehead against yours again, clinging to this moment like it’s the last warmth he’ll ever feel.

“I wish I never met you,” he says.

You flinch.

“But I did. And now everything’s falling apart.”

You press your hand against his chest, right over his heart. “Maybe it’s not falling apart. Maybe it’s just… changing.”

He stares at you, throat tight, and for the first time in years, he doesn’t know what he believes in anymore.

Because in your eyes, he sees something terrifying.

Hope.

His lips brush yours again—softer this time. Less frantic. Like he’s trying to apologize with every slow pull and part of his mouth. His hand cradles the back of your head, thumb grazing your cheek as he murmurs against you, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

Each kiss is a confession.

A plea.

A goodbye that he doesn’t want to say.

You feel it in the way he holds you—so tightly, like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he lets go.

And then— A sound.

Far off, muffled at first. Laughter. Chatter. Footsteps on gravel.

His entire body tenses.

He freezes, then pulls back just enough to listen. His jaw clenches. You watch the warmth in his expression flicker—replaced by that practiced calm, the cold calculation of the man you know he’s tried to be.

“They’re coming,” he murmurs, glancing toward the temple entrance, voice low and urgent.

He takes your hand, leading you around the back of the temple, behind the high wall where the moss grows thick and the shadows stretch long.

When he turns back to you, he’s not just Suguru.

He’s the man hiding a war behind his eyes.

“You should go,” he says quietly, but firmly. “Before they see you here.”

You open your mouth, unsure what to say—your heart still thudding from the closeness. From everything.

“But—”

“Please.” His voice cracks. “I can’t protect you if they find out. You don’t belong in this world.”

Your breath hitches. And for the first time… you don’t argue.

You just nod, slowly, even though it hurts.

He watches you for a second longer—like he wants to memorize you. Burn the sight of you into the back of his eyes.

And then you slip away into the trees, and he turns, just as the voices draw nearer.

The mask returns. But his hands still shake.

-

Each time you find yourselves alone, it’s the same.

A glance across the market crowd. A brush of hands as you pass by the temple walls. A meeting in the still hours of dusk, behind shrines where the wind carries whispers and incense smoke.

And when your eyes meet—it’s over.

No words.

Just his mouth on yours, desperate and gentle all at once. Like he’s searching for salvation in the curve of your lips. Like he’s asking for forgiveness without saying a word.

Every kiss is stolen. Every moment borrowed.

There’s no room for forever here—only fragments.

But it’s in those fragments that something begins to bloom. A quiet understanding. Mutual. Unspoken. Heavy.

You both feel it.

In the way his fingers linger on your wrist after pulling away. In the way you hesitate before leaving, always turning back for one last look. In the way his voice softens whenever he says your name.

It gnaws at you both—this thing. Because it’s real. It’s there.

But the world you come from, and the world he’s built… they were never meant to touch.

Still, you touch.

Still, you reach for each other like you’re defying the very stars that set your fates.

And every time, it hurts more.

Because even love—especially love—isn’t enough to fix a broken world.

Not yet.

-

It’s late.

The halls of the temple are silent, dimly lit by flickering candles that cast long, wavering shadows along the walls. Outside, the world sleeps. But Suguru doesn’t.

He sits alone in the meditation room, eyes heavy, thoughts heavier.

And for the first time in a long while, he lets himself wonder.

What if?

What if he never looked down on them?

What if he’d held onto that old, crumbling ideal—that jujutsu sorcerers existed to protect, not condemn? That their power was meant to shield the powerless, not judge them?

What if he’d stayed?

Stayed beside Satoru. Beside Shoko. Beside the boy he used to be.

The one who looked at the world and believed it could be saved.

His fists curl.

Because he knows it’s too late. He knows too much now—about how vile humans can be. About how curses breed from their ignorance, their hatred, their selfishness.

And yet…

Yet there’s you.

Smiling, despite the darkness around you. Kind, even when faced with cruelty. Looking at him—not with fear, not with disgust—but something gentler. Something he doesn’t deserve.

You make him wonder if he was wrong.

And god, that scares him more than anything.

Because if he was wrong… then all of this—all the blood, the death, the conviction—was for nothing.

He exhales sharply. Runs a hand through his hair, tugging it back as if he can wrench the thoughts out of his skull.

But your face won’t leave him.

Your voice. Your warmth.

The quiet question that lingers in his chest like a bruise:

What if I had stayed?

What if I still can?

-

The sound of the creek is the only thing filling the silence.

Suguru walks with no real destination, hands tucked into the sleeves of his monk’s robe, the cool breeze tugging gently at loose strands of hair that fall from his half-tied bun. He’s restless again—wandering, thinking, searching.

And then he sees you.

You’re seated at the edge of the creek, knees pulled up to your chest, chin resting on them as you stare at the water. There’s a calm smile on your lips. A peaceful kind of smile—the kind that looks rare, like you don’t wear it often.

It tugs at something in him.

You glance up, sensing someone near. When you see it’s him, your eyes brighten. The smile stretches just a little more, as if his presence has shifted something inside you—like it made your quiet moment even better.

“Hi!” you say, like you’re genuinely happy to see him.

Suguru’s chest tightens.

He wonders how you can still smile like that—how it always looks like the world isn’t as cruel as he knows it to be. He doesn’t know how you do it. Or why it makes him want to stay.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” he murmurs, stepping a little closer, but not sitting down. Not yet.

“Well, I live around here,” you say, nudging your chin toward a modest house visible just beyond the trees. “So I come here pretty often.”

“You live alone?” he asks, the question slipping out more protective than intended.

You nod. “Yep.”

His eyes drift toward the house, then back to you. For a moment, he says nothing. He just watches—the way the sunlight dances on your hair, the way you look at him like he’s just Suguru. Not the man who’s built a cult. Not the sorcerer who’s abandoned his own kind. Just… him.

He sits beside you.

Quietly. Close enough that your shoulders almost brush, but not quite. His eyes stay on the creek, though he’s only half-seeing it.

“You shouldn’t be here alone,” he says finally, his voice quieter. “It’s not always safe.”

You hum, like you’re not entirely sure if he means the world… or himself.

But you smile again anyway. “You’re here though. So I feel safe.”

And that just wrecks him.

The two of you sit there for a while.

Not talking. Just existing.

The water trickles past in a lazy rhythm, birds chirp overhead, and the wind carries the scent of earth and flowers and something sweet he can’t quite name.

Suguru doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s felt this. Stillness. Like time isn’t chasing after him with bloodied hands and whispered curses. Like the world’s not crumbling under the weight of its own cruelty.

You tilt your head toward him, watching him with soft curiosity.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” you tease lightly, bumping your shoulder into his.

He huffs a quiet laugh, barely more than a breath, but it’s real.

“I talk when I have something to say.”

“Oh? So you’ve had nothing to say this whole time?” You raise a brow at him, smile tugging at your lips again. “I’m wounded.”

He glances at you then, and for a split second—just a second—his expression softens. “You talk enough for both of us.”

“Rude,” you murmur, though you’re grinning now, looking back at the creek.

It’s quiet again, but this time it feels warmer. Like something unspoken is beginning to bloom between the silence.

Suguru speaks, his voice quieter now. “Why here?”

You blink. “Hm?”

“This place. The creek. Why do you come here so often?”

You pause for a moment, thoughtful. “Because it’s quiet. Peaceful. And it feels… safe, I guess.”

There’s a slight pull in his chest at that word again. Safe.

“And you?” you ask softly. “Why are you here?”

His lips press into a thin line.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe I was looking for peace, too.”

You don’t say anything to that. You just look at him—really look at him—and there’s something in your gaze that feels too knowing. Too tender. And Suguru finds he can’t quite meet your eyes anymore.

So you change the subject.

“I had a dream last night,” you say, voice lighter now. “You were in it.”

His head turns, curious. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling at the memory. “You were... different, though. Not that you’re not you now. Just... happier. Lighter. You laughed a lot.”

Suguru swallows.

You laugh a little. “I know. Weird, huh?”

But he shakes his head slowly. “No. Not weird.”

You tilt your head again. “Do you laugh a lot, Suguru?”

“I used to,” he says quietly, gaze fixed on the water. “A long time ago.”

There’s something in his tone—wistful, aching—and you know better than to press. So instead, you place your hand beside his on the grass. Not touching. Just close. A silent offering.

And though neither of you say anything else, Suguru lets his fingers inch just a little closer to yours.

Almost touching but not quite.

Your fingers are so close. A breath away. Neither of you move. Not really. But your proximity is louder than any words could be.

Suguru feels it—the weight of silence between you, the charged stillness hanging in the air like the moment before a summer storm. He shouldn't be here. Shouldn't be sitting by a creek with someone who’s slowly unraveling the iron threads he's wrapped around his heart.

But you're not doing anything. Just sitting there. Looking at the water, at the sun dancing across the surface.

At peace.

And when you turn to look at him again, your smile is small but it’s real. A quiet kind of affection behind your eyes. “You look like you're carrying the whole world on your back.”

He breathes out a quiet scoff. “Aren’t I?”

You study him for a moment, and your voice is gentler this time. “You don’t have to.”

A pause.

“You could set it down. Just for a while. With me.”

Those words. They undo him.

He looks at you then, really looks at you—soft sunlight catching the curve of your cheek, the way your lips part slightly, waiting, nervous but brave.

His gaze drops to your mouth for half a second too long.

And then—

He leans in.

Slow. So slow it almost doesn’t feel real.

You don’t move. You don’t speak.

You just tilt your chin up slightly, breath catching in your throat.

His forehead brushes yours.

“You make me forget,” he whispers, and his voice is rough like he’s confessing a sin.

And then—he kisses you.

It’s soft. Barely there at first. Just a gentle press of lips, tentative and careful, as if he's terrified the moment will shatter if he pushes too hard.

But when you kiss him back—when your hand comes up to rest against his chest like you’re trying to ground him—it deepens. Slow and reverent, like you're tasting the ache he's buried for years.

No one’s watching. No prying eyes. No judgment. Just the two of you, tucked away by a quiet creek, hearts trembling and wide open.

When he finally pulls back, you’re both breathless. He keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer, like he’s trying to memorize the way this feels.

Like peace.

“…Suguru,” you whisper.

He opens his eyes. There’s something broken and tender in them.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he murmurs. His thumb brushes your cheek, gentle as ever. “But I don’t think I can stop.”

You’re still catching your breath—and then he sees it. That look in your eyes.

Like you're not done.

And god, neither is he.

His mouth finds yours again—no hesitation this time. It’s hungrier, rougher, full of everything he’s been trying to suppress for weeks. Maybe months. Maybe since the first time you smiled at him like he wasn’t a monster.

Your fingers fist into his robes instinctively and his hand slips behind your neck, cradling you gently even as the kiss deepens, as if you’re something both sacred and dangerous.

You fall back against the grass with a quiet gasp, and he follows you down, one hand bracing himself beside your head, the other still tangled in your hair.

He's above you now. Breathing hard. Eyes flickering across your face like he's memorizing every inch of you, desperate to carve this moment into his soul.

And you don’t look afraid. You don’t look unsure.

You look at him like he’s something worth holding onto.

“Say something,” he whispers, voice hoarse.

But you don’t. You reach up instead—fingers ghosting across his cheek, and then pulling him down again.

The kiss that follows is slower. Deeper. The kind that says I’ve missed you even though you were never mine to begin with.

And it breaks him just a little.

Because in this moment, with your body beneath his, hands in his hair, lips moving like a prayer against his—

He forgets the war. He forgets the blood, the ideology, the lies he tells himself to stay sane.

All he knows is you. And he’s terrified.

Because what happens if he lets himself love you?

-

The dream is cruel.

He doesn’t realize it’s a dream at first. It feels too real—the heat of the sun overhead, the sharp scent of smoke in the air, and the frantic sound of footsteps pounding across temple stone.

And then—your voice.

Panicked. Calling his name.

He turns the corner and there you are. Knees scraped, arms bound by a rope, blood smeared across your cheek. You're on your knees before his followers, eyes wide in terror.

“You said she was a local,” one of them sneers. “Said she wasn’t important.”

“She’s not,” another spits. “She’s a monkey. She doesn’t belong here.”

“Wait—please—” you whisper, eyes darting around. “Suguru—?”

But Suguru doesn’t move.

He watches. Frozen. Helpless.

One of the followers raises their cursed tool.

“NO!”

The scream rips from his throat too late.

The world goes red.

He bolts upright in bed, breath ragged, sweat cold down his spine. The room is dark and silent, but he can still hear it—your voice, breaking. His name on your lips.

His hand trembles as he runs it down his face.

It was just a dream. Just a dream.

But what if it wasn’t?

What if they find out?

What if they already know?

And what if he loses you—again?

His fist clenches, heart pounding. He doesn’t know if he’s angry or terrified or both. All he knows is this: he can’t let that happen.

But how does he keep you safe…

When the real danger is him?

-

He shouldn't be here.

Not dressed like this—hood pulled low, robes traded for simple jeans and a dark sweatshirt, hands shoved deep into his pockets. Not standing outside your home under the cover of night, hoping no one saw him slip away from the temple grounds. Not risking everything for the sake of a face that keeps haunting his thoughts.

But here he is.

His footsteps falter at the edge of your doorstep. The lights inside are dim. The house is quiet. He could turn back now. Pretend none of this happened. Pretend the dream didn't shake him. Pretend you don't exist in his thoughts the way you do.

But then his hand rises—and he presses the doorbell.

A few seconds pass. Nothing.

Maybe you’re asleep. Maybe this is a sign. He should go—

He rings it again.

There’s a faint thump, the groan of floorboards, and then a sleepy voice muffled behind the door: “Who is it?”

The door opens slowly, and you blink against the porch light, hair tousled from sleep and an oversized t-shirt hanging loose around your frame.

Your eyes widen. “Suguru?” You stare at him—eyes squinting, confused and half-dreaming. “What are you doing here?”

Your words barely leave your lips before he pulls you into his arms—tight, desperate, like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he lets go.

His hood falls back slightly, revealing that familiar face you’ve only ever seen half-shadowed in moonlight or sunlight leaking through trees. But now he’s here. Real. Shaken.

“Suguru?” you whisper against his chest, your hands instinctively curling around the fabric of his sweatshirt. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t answer right away. His grip only tightens, and you feel the faint tremble in his breath. That’s enough to make your heart clench.

“Come on,” you murmur, gently tugging him inside. The door closes behind you with a quiet click, but he still hasn’t let you go—not really. His arms are still around you, like the thought of breaking that contact might splinter him all over again.

It’s only after a beat of silence, standing there in your quiet hallway under the soft golden light, that he speaks.

“I had a bad dream,” he says, voice low, almost a whisper. His breath hitches. “About you.”

Your heart skips. You pull back slightly to look up at him, your hands still resting against his chest. “What kind of dream?”

But he just looks at you, eyes shadowed with something heavier than he’s ever let you see before. Like he’d rather burn the world than ever see you hurt.

Your eyes soften, your voice gentle, threaded with concern. “What happened? In the dream, I mean.”

Suguru’s jaw tenses. His breath shudders—like the thought alone is unbearable. His gaze drops, eyes flickering somewhere over your shoulder, not quite able to meet yours anymore. That vulnerability he’s always kept behind iron walls is leaking through the cracks now.

You reach up slowly, your fingertips brushing along his forearm. “It’s okay,” you murmur. “If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. I’m here for you.”

He closes his eyes for a moment. His throat bobs with a hard swallow.

“I saw them find out about you,” he says finally, voice quiet and raw. “My followers. They knew. And I wasn’t fast enough—I couldn’t stop it.” His hands curl into fists at his sides. “They hurt you. You were crying. Calling for me.”

He opens his eyes again, and the pain there is like nothing you’ve ever seen in him.

“I woke up, and I didn’t even know if it was just a dream.”

You don’t hesitate. You wrap your arms around him again, anchoring him to the present. To you.

“It was just a dream,” you whisper. “I’m right here. I’m okay.”

He exhales shakily against your shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you,” he says, almost too quietly for you to hear. “Not you.”

Your hand rises before you even realize it, fingers brushing through his hair, warm against his skin as you cradle his cheek. His breath hitches at the contact, eyes flickering to yours, searching. For what—he isn’t sure. Reassurance? Permission? A lifeline?

“Suguru…” is all you manage to say.

Just his name.

But it’s everything.

Then you lean in—urgent, unthinking, needing—and your lips crash into his.

He doesn’t hesitate.

His arms wrap around you like he’s afraid you’ll vanish, like you’ll slip right through his fingers if he doesn't hold you tight enough. The kiss deepens instantly, wild and breathless, all-consuming. You feel the tension bleed from his body and into yours, your fingers slipping into his hair as his own hand settles on the small of your back, anchoring you to him.

It’s not just a kiss. It’s a confession. A plea. A breaking point.

You press closer, sighing into his mouth as he kisses you like he’s starving—like this is the first real thing he’s tasted in years. And maybe it is.

When you part for air, foreheads pressed together, his thumb brushes your jaw. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he whispers.

You smile, soft and breathless. “I think I do.”

The quiet between you lasts barely a second.

Because then he’s kissing you again—harder this time, desperate. It’s messy, teeth clashing and tongues tangling, like he’s trying to pour every unspoken feeling into your mouth. You gasp into the kiss, and he swallows it whole, backing you up until your back hits the nearest wall with a muted thud.

His hands are everywhere—gripping your waist, your hips, like he needs you closer, like he still can’t believe you’re here and real. Your fingers tug at the fabric of his hoodie, fisting it tight, grounding yourself in the heat of him.

His mouth tears from yours only to trail down—over your jaw, your throat—hot, open-mouthed kisses that leave you trembling. His breath is ragged against your skin, lips ghosting over your pulse. You feel his tongue flick at your collarbone before he sucks gently at the skin, pulling back just enough to leave behind the faintest bruise.

“Suguru—” you breathe, chest rising and falling fast, your voice shaky with want.

He groans against your skin, his grip tightening. “I shouldn’t want you like this,” he murmurs, voice low and ruined, “but I do.”

And god, you want him too.

So bad it hurts.

You don’t even remember how you made it to the bedroom.

All you remember is the feel of his hands—urgent, reverent—as he pulled you in, lips never straying far from your skin. He kissed you like he was afraid it would be the last time. Like this moment was all he had.

Your clothes fell away piece by piece, the quiet rustle of fabric hitting the floor the only sound between the hungry kisses. His eyes never left yours, not even for a second—like he needed to memorize every part of you, every breath, every tremble.

And then he lays you down. So carefully. Like you’re something precious. His hands glide along your sides, your arms, your stomach, pausing at each new inch of exposed skin to press kisses into it—soft, slow, like he’s marking you with his mouth. Worshipping you.

He pulls back to lift his hoodie over his head, throwing it somewhere behind him. His breath is shaky when he rests his forehead against yours. “Can’t do this anymore,” he murmurs, voice breaking with the weight of his confession. “Can’t keep pretending like you don’t mean anything. Like I don’t… feel this.”

You reach up, fingers tangling in his hair, and he leans into the touch like he’s been starved for it.

“I’m gonna change,” he whispers, kissing the corner of your mouth, your cheek, the hollow of your throat. “For you. I want you in my life.”

And the way he says it, it doesn’t sound like a promise. It sounds like a vow.

Your breath stutters as his lips trace slow, reverent patterns down your body—each kiss a promise, each touch laced with trembling devotion. You feel his warmth everywhere, like he’s trying to brand your soul with the shape of him.

And then, through the haze of desire and something deeper, your voice breaks the quiet.

"Suguru… what about your followers? What would they do?"

He pauses, lips hovering just above your skin. His fingers twitch where they hold your hips, but he doesn’t lift his head. Doesn’t stop.

“Doesn’t matter right now,” he murmurs, voice thick and ragged, “I’m gonna protect you, sweetheart. Gonna do anything for you. Won’t let anyone hurt you.”

The words land heavy. Solid. 

And the strangest part is that it doesn’t feel strange at all.

To protect you—a non-sorcerer. The very people he built his new world to fight against. The ones he taught himself to loathe.

But now? Now it feels like it was always meant to be this way. It only took you. You, with that voice, that heart, that warmth—to make it bloom again. To make him remember what it felt like to care. 

To love.

He presses another kiss to your thigh, then lower, lower—until his breath ghosts over the most intimate part of you. His voice rumbles softly against your skin.

“Suguru…” you gasp, a breathless, vulnerable sound.

He glances up, eyes dark and blown wide. “Yes, sweetheart?”

And then you say it.

“I love you.”

Time stops.

His lips freeze against the inside of your thigh.

You feel his breath there, hot and uneven, his hands tightening slightly at your hips as your words sink in—like he wasn’t ready for them, like he’d been craving them all the same.

He lifts his head just enough to look at you, eyes wide, blown with something far deeper than lust now—something raw and aching. His hair is messy, dark strands falling into his face, and he’s never looked more human. Never looked more vulnerable.

“Say it again,” he whispers, voice barely audible over the rush in your ears.

Your hand finds his, fingers lacing together.

“I love you,” you say again, stronger this time. With your whole chest. Because you mean it.

A beat passes, and then he’s crawling up your body, kissing you like he’s falling into you—like you’re the only thing keeping him from shattering. Every part of him shakes. His heart, his breath, his resolve.

“I love you too,” he murmurs against your lips. “God, I love you.”

His hands skim your waist, warm and steady, fingertips sinking into the soft curves of your hips like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. Your breath hitches as his lips move lower—down the center of your stomach, slow and reverent, leaving a trail of kisses that burn in the most tender way. He murmurs your name against your skin, like a prayer, like a secret he’s only ever willing to whisper when no one’s looking.

You feel his hands slide beneath your thighs, lifting you gently, guiding you closer to the edge of the bed with careful control. His grip is firm but tender, like you’re something fragile, like he’s afraid he’ll lose you if he lets go.

His mouth hovers just above where you need him most, warm breath fanning across your skin. He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh—slow, open-mouthed, lingering—then another, closer. And another. He’s not rushing. No, Suguru takes his time, as if every second of this is something sacred. His hands stroke up and down your sides, grounding you, steadying you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, voice low and raw. “Could spend forever just looking at you like this.”

Your legs tremble under his touch. You whimper his name, a soft, broken plea.

His lips finally meet you where you’re aching, and your world folds in on itself.

The first lick is slow—torturously slow—like he’s tasting something forbidden for the first time, letting the flavor of you bloom across his tongue. His groan vibrates against you, deep and low in his throat, sending sparks flying up your spine. Then he does it again—slower, deeper, more purposeful.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging gently, and he groans again, like he loves that, like he wants more of it.

His tongue moves in slow circles, soft and rhythmic, never once breaking eye contact when you manage to look down. His gaze is molten—completely undone. You see it in his eyes—he needs this. Needs you. Not just your body but everything. Your warmth. Your love. The part of you that believed in him.

“You taste like heaven,” he rasps between kisses, and it’s almost cruel the way he says it, so tender it makes your chest ache. “Never letting you go. Not after this.”

And then his lips seal around you again, and everything else disappears—his past, his beliefs, the twisted version of justice he’s clung to for years. In this moment, all that remains is you and him.

He’s not just worshipping your body.

He’s holding on to what little light is left inside of him.

And letting you guide him back to it.

Your thighs tremble against his shoulders as he buries himself deeper, tongue moving in slow, precise motions—too slow. It’s not rushed. It’s deliberate. Worshipful.

He groans low in his throat when you arch into him, his name falling from your lips in a broken whisper. Suguru’s hands tighten around your thighs, keeping you in place, keeping you grounded. But his touch never feels possessive—only reverent.

“That’s it,” he murmurs against you, voice ragged and full of awe. “Let me take care of you.”

And he does.

Each flick of his tongue, each subtle shift of pressure, feels like he knows you better than anyone ever has. He listens to the way your breath catches, the way your hips jerk, the way you moan his name when he hits that perfect spot again and again. He’s learning you like a language—translating every twitch, every gasp, every soft, needy whimper.

You’re unraveling under him.

Your fingers thread tighter in his hair, hips rocking subtly against his mouth as your pleasure builds, slow and steady, like a wave pulling back before it crashes. He hums again—fuck, the vibration goes straight through you—and his tongue speeds up just slightly, chasing your release with more intent now.

“Suguru—” you gasp, chest heaving, the coil in your stomach tightening.

“I know,” he breathes, lifting his eyes to you, gaze dark and full of something deep—want, need, love. “Come for me, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

And that’s all it takes.

You shatter with a breathless cry, back arching off the bed, thighs trembling around his head as he holds you through it. His mouth doesn’t leave you—not right away—his tongue working you gently through the aftershocks, slower now, softer, until you whimper from the sensitivity and tug gently at his hair.

Only then does he lift his head, lips glossy with you, eyes full of a tender kind of devotion that makes your heart ache.

He leans up, kisses your thigh, your stomach, your chest—until he’s hovering over you again, one hand brushing your hair back from your sweat-slick forehead.

“You okay?” he whispers, voice hoarse, gaze searching yours.

You nod, dazed, lips parted as you try to catch your breath. And then you reach for him again—because even after everything, you still want more.

You don’t give him a chance to move. Not this time.

Your hands slide into his hair, pulling him into another kiss—messy, heated, tasting yourself on his tongue. He groans against your lips, deep and low, hands gripping your waist like he’s not sure if he wants to hold you still or pull you closer.

But you’re already moving—rolling your hips up into his, feeling how hard he is against you, how much he’s holding back.

“Let me,” you whisper, lips brushing his. “I wanna take care of you now.”

He looks at you like you just reached inside his chest and held his heart in your hands. There’s awe in his eyes. Something close to disbelief.

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to.” You hush him with another kiss, softer this time. “Please.”

And how could he ever say no to you?

You push him back until he’s laid down on your bed. Your hands roam over his body and you watch the way his muscles flex under your fingers, every inch of skin revealed like something sacred. You trail kisses down his throat, his collarbone, dragging your nails down his chest just enough to make him hiss.

“Fuck,” he breathes, head tilting back when you nip at his skin.

You kiss lower. Slower. Tasting every inch of him, every scar, every dip of muscle like he’s something divine—your god now.

By the time you’re undoing his pants, he’s panting, watching you with a look that’s all-consuming. Like he still can’t believe you’re real. That you’re here. That you want him.

And then you’re straddling him, hovering above him, dragging yourself down slow—so slow—until he’s seated inside you and both of you are gasping, clinging to each other like the world outside doesn’t exist.

“You feel like heaven,” Suguru groans, hands digging into your hips. “Can’t believe you’re mine.”

You lean down, kiss him again. Rock your hips in slow, deep rolls, your body matching his rhythm like you’ve always known it. His hands slide up your back, one slipping into your hair as his lips find your neck, kissing, sucking, whispering your name like a prayer.

“You’re everything,” he breathes. “You—fuck—you make me want to be good again.”

You ride him slowly. Sensual. Every grind, every moan, every kiss dragging the moment out. This isn’t just need. It’s something more.

Something that makes his eyes blur and his hands tremble.

Because for once, Geto Suguru isn’t drowning in hatred or vengeance or ideals.

He’s drowning in you.

You’re still moving above him, hips slow and languid, a rhythm that isn’t rushed. A rhythm that worships.

And Suguru… God, he’s unraveling beneath you.

Head tipped back, lips parted, breath ragged—like he’s holding on by a thread. Every time you roll your hips, his fingers dig into your skin just a little tighter, like he’s scared this is a dream. That he’ll wake up and find you gone.

But you’re not.

You’re here. You're real. And you’re touching him like he’s something beautiful, something worthy.

“Look at me,” you whisper, breath catching as your hand cups his cheek, thumbing the curve of his lower lip. “Suguru…”

His eyes flutter open. And when they meet yours—it’s devastating. There’s so much feeling in them. Raw. Unfiltered. Like he’s never been seen so completely.

“God, you’re so—” your voice catches, fingers splayed across his chest as you ride him, pace stuttering and breath shaking.

“So what?” he murmurs, voice low, teasing, but there’s a strain there too, like he’s barely holding himself back. 

You swallow, eyes dragging down his body. “Big,” you whisper. “You’re so big…”

His breath stutters—just for a second—and then he leans in closer, lips brushing your ear. “And you still take me so well, sweetheart. Made for me, yeah?”

And then he’s kissing you again, lips brushing yours in soft, desperate strokes. “Oh my God,” he breathes against your mouth. “Fuck, sweetheart—you’re gonna ruin me.”

You rock your hips again, slow and deep, moaning into his kiss. “Maybe I want to.”

Your hands slide down his chest again, feeling the way his abs tighten under your touch. His hands travel your back, your waist, your thighs—like he’s memorizing every inch, every curve.

He’s whispering now, between every kiss, every thrust:

“So perfect.” “Don’t deserve this.” “But I’m so fucking glad you’re mine.” “Want to stay like this, want you forever.”

Each word makes your heart ache.

You kiss him again, deeper, letting your tongue slide against his as you move faster—just a little. Just enough to make him groan your name. Just enough to hear that sweet sound he only makes for you.

And when your rhythm falters—when your breath stutters, and your body tightens around him—he knows.

He knows you’re close.

He kisses you through it, hand cupping the back of your head, the other gripping your hip like he’s anchoring you both. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice breaking. “Let go for me. Come on—come on, I’ve got you.”

And you do—falling apart in his arms with a whimper of his name, your body trembling as the pleasure crashes through you, hard and consuming. You cling to him, face buried in his neck, gasping through the aftershocks.

Suguru follows just after, undone by the sight of you, the feel of you, the love in every inch of you. He holds you tight as he shudders with his release, spilling into you with a moan that sounds like it comes from the deepest part of him.

Like this is everything he’s ever needed.

Like this is home.

You collapse onto the bed beside him, breathless and exhausted.

The silence stretches long between you, but there’s no weight in it—just warmth, just the sound of your breathing and his, the subtle rustle of sheets when he shifts beside you. His arm stays curled around your waist, his fingers splayed across your skin like he’s still grounding himself in the fact that you’re real. That you’re here.

“I had someone,” he says, voice quiet. “Someone who tried to stop me before I became the man I am now.”

You turn your head slightly, meeting his gaze in the soft dark. He’s already looking at you.

“Satoru,” he adds. “He was my best friend. We were supposed to protect people together.”

You don’t speak. Just listen. His voice is rough, like each word tastes bitter on his tongue.

“He stood in front of me the day I walked away. Said I didn’t have to do it. That I could still turn back. That it wasn’t too late.”

His jaw clenches, barely perceptible in the pale moonlight.

“I told him it was already done. That the world didn’t deserve saving. That people like you—non-sorcerers—weren’t worth it.”

A pause. A breath.

“I wanted to believe that.”

You reach for him without thinking, brushing your fingers against his hand. He doesn’t pull away.

“But now… here you are,” he murmurs. “Saying the same things he did. Smiling at me like I’m not already ruined. Like there’s something left in me worth pulling back from the edge.”

He’s watching you with something fragile in his eyes. Something old and aching and afraid.

“Maybe I didn’t want to admit I was wrong. That the world still has people in it who are good. Worth protecting.”

Your thumb traces over his knuckles gently.

“It’s not too late,” you whisper. “You’re still here, Suguru.”

He closes his eyes, just for a second, like he’s trying to hold on to that thought. To the hope in your voice.

When he opens them again, his gaze is softer.

“I know now that I can come back,” he breathes. “And it’s all because of you.”

His forehead presses to yours, his breath warm and shaky.

“Only you.”

author's note. just realised this au means no shibuya incident and no one dies. i think.

please do not steal, modify, or translate my work.

[anantaru]

⚝ DAY 10 — DIRTY TALK

kinktober 2024. — masterlist | ao3

— including. — dan heng, jing yuan, mydei, dr ratio

— warnings. — fem! reader, dirty talk, talking you through it, messy, overstimming

⚝ — DAN HENG

dan heng touches you on places no one else could reach— alas, he was calm only in appearance, but every motion underneath was begging for access— he looks at you, eyes dark, flickering to your lips like they hold some terrible truth he needed to find out as his hands, slightly cold, find your waist.

"you make me say things i shouldn't, fantasize about things that should never be spoken aloud," your moan draws out a helpless tune from him, somewhat between half growl and half sob, "you don't know how beautiful you look, spread out like this, glistening for me, it's maddening," as he presses in slowly, exhaling hard, "that's it… you take me so well, so greedy, I shouldn't like that, but fuck, i do," as his hand trembles, gripping your thighs, holding you open.

slowly, he's memorizing every second, every shape and storing you in some hidden chamber of memory inside his brain to return back in solitude.

but it frays too quickly— dan heng hisses when your pussy begins to squeeze him, forcing him to take him deeper inch by inch until he'd be able to graze at your clit whenever he went fully inside your sweet warmth.

your fingers sink into his shoulder as your back arches off the mattress, fuck, he groans against your mouth in response, soft at first, then deeper, more ragged, "don't stop, not yet," he whines out, voice shredded and low, fucking you while simultaneously watching your tits bounce up and down in tandem with his desperate thrusts.

his hands grip at your thighs like he might drown without the grounding of your skin as he kisses you with the restraint of someone taught to deny himself— but beneath it all, there was hunger, even worse, dark, desperate hunger. despite now, when he finally slides his tongue deeper into your mouth, you found it to be not careful anymore, "you have no idea what you do to me," he says, eyes fluttering shut, your pussy throbbing and soaking him with your slick, "fuck baby— no idea how many nights i've imagined this, your mouth, your noises, how you take me."

you feel him twitch inside you— his hips betraying him, his breath a staccato rhythm of need, "let me, just once— lose control."

⚝ — JING YUAN

"how sweet you're reacting to me, dear," jing yuan points out, calm voice trembling at the edges, the way silk tears under a blade, "shaking like that already? i haven't even started," as he drags his cock along your soaked entrance, slow enough to make you beg.

he smiles, "you know i could keep you here for hours, talk you through every second of it while you cry for more," as his hand cups your face, thumb pressing into your cheek, dragging your gaze up so you'd be forced to look at him.

"you want to be filled, ruined, marked— don't you? say it, i want to hear you, tell me you need me to use this perfect body of yours, tell me i'm the only one who gets to see you like this,"

you don't breathe— you simply cannot— not when he finally pushes back in, slow like cruelty, like a punishment designed just for you as your gasp forms into a sharp, raw tune, desperately torn from your lungs like utter worship, and the sound of it— fuck, the sound of it— it breaks him.

jing yuan fucks not like a man, no, it's something different, something broken open from the inside, teeth bared behind it like violence. he's losing himself, not out of gentleness, but restraint he's had caged behind his heart for centuries.

it's in the way his hips shake, the way his mouth drips spit onto your throat as he pants against it, hot and soaked and shaking.

"tight, fuck— you were waiting for me, knew you’d be like this, soaked and twitching, wanting it filthy, needy thing, aren't you?" jing yuan leans down, panting against your lips, "i'll say everything to you, every little thing i want to do, you want my voice in your head next time you touch yourself? good, because after this, you won't know how to come unless it's to me whispering filth in your ear."

⚝ — MYDEI

mydei doesn't even look away when you shake from overstimulation, in fact, he needs to see it happening, "you poor, sweet thing," he drawls, his thumb pushing through the little hood of your clit before dragging your slick from your folds up to your sensitive pearl like he's painting with it, having fun while being cruel, "this is how you thank me? dripping like a broken thing just because i touched you?"

the man was utterly stimulated from seeing you writhing like this, desperately so as he fucks you with his fingers�� slow, wet, curling deep, then changing the entire rhythm and flicking through your clit left right left right.

"keep squeezing me like that and i'll think you're begging me to ruin it, sweetheart, that what you want? you want me to fuck you until you forget your own damn name?" his smile is crooked and mean, teeth flashing like a wolf about to bite, "you hear that?" he growls when you wince out the moment he fucks his cock inches deeper.

"listen to how wet you are for me— nothing but a soaked little mess now, fucking filthy, huh? you were made for me, weren't you?" mydei groans low, his breath hot against your cheek as he smears his saliva from your cheek, jaw and neck, suckling on the swollen flesh harshly.

"gonna talk you through every inch while you're losing your fucking mind," he shoves himself in and pulls out completely, only to push his cock inside more devilishly, your cunt gushing and overflowing with his cum and your slick, "you like that, baby? like when i use that filthy mouth of mine and this cock? then be good and open up for me, i'll make you forget how to walk."

⚝ — DR RATIO

"intellect alone doesn't explain what i want to do to you," veritas was already buried in you, movements obscene, sounds wet and loud, but his voice— his angelic voice— was cruel and saccharine sweet all at once, "if you only knew how often i've imagined this, your thighs shaking around me baby, fuck and your mouth? open in those pretty little gasps, your cunt swallowing me like it missed me, hah," as you cry out when he pulls your hips tighter against him, impossibly close, like he could crawl inside your skin and live there, lusting and downright starved.

"mm baby, yes, just like that, keep clenching, i want to memorize how you tighten when i say filthy things, say more, darling, i'll say everything to make you sound like that," veritas licks a stripe along your jaw, like he's losing his mind with the way you sound, the way you milk his cock and squeeze him so impossibly deep, "you're so far gone, twitching like this, drooling for it, your mind leaking out your ears and i haven't even started talking properly yet."

alas, the man kisses your temple, then says darkly, "i'll speak until your thoughts melt, tell you exactly what your body looks like stretched around me, how i want to stay buried here until it stops being fucking academic and starts being more," as another thrust, this one strong enough that his pelvis rubs on your clit, unfolds your veins and boils your blood as your tits bounce up and down.

he needs you closer— no, closer than that— so close there's no space for thought, for breath, for salvation, he crushes you to him, his veiny hands strong and solid as they drag you in, back and back and back again until your breasts were pressed up against the unbearable heat of his chest— his skin slick, sculpted like sin carved into flesh, his muscles twitching with yearn that's already shattering.

"you understand now, don't you? i'm not stopping until you're crying and still begging for more."

©2025 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own

[thepencilnerd]

a series of firsts

When you ask Chishiya for a simple favor, neither of you are prepared for what follows. tldr: you ask Chishiya to teach you how to kiss.

genre/notes: fluff, borderline smut, ooc-ish!Chishiya x fem!reader

rating: mature (smut implied but not explicit)

word count: 2k

You weren't sure when you had worked up the courage to ask Chishiya such an outrageous favor. Maybe it was the late nights spent together, both of you perched on the worn-out couch, his arm thrown lazily along the backrest, fingers sometimes brushing against your shoulders in a way that sent shivers down your spine. Or maybe it was those fleeting moments when his gaze lingered on your lips, and you couldn’t help but think – wish, even – that he wanted this too.

It was a quiet evening, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you glanced up at him, his calm expression giving you just enough confidence to take a leap of faith.

“Chishiya,” you started, your voice barely above a whisper, as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. “Can you teach me how to kiss?”

His eyes flicked up to meet yours, the smallest lift of his brow the only sign of his surprise. For a long second, you thought he might laugh or brush it off as a joke. Instead, he tilted his head to the side, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“You want me to be your first kiss?” he asked, his voice soft yet edged with curiosity.

You punched his shoulder playfully, trying to mask your nerves. “Maybe I just want more practice! What makes you think I haven't kissed anyone?”

Chishiya chuckled, the smile on his face growing. “I know you better than anyone,” he said, his tone teasing but laced with a warmth that made your heart flutter.

You nodded, a blush creeping up your cheeks, unable to meet his gaze for too long. It felt ridiculous, embarrassing, but this was Chishiya – the person you trusted most. There had always been something there between you two, something neither of you dared address until now.

You decided to distract yourself from the growing tension, a teasing smile forming on your lips. "Actually, I've kissed a few people, you know. There was Niragi..."

Chishiya's lips twitched, his response immediate. "Too boring."

You rolled your eyes, continuing, "And then there was Kanato."

"Too short," Chishiya replied dryly, his tone making it clear he wasn't impressed.

"Okay, but what about Yuki? She was—"

"Too much of a know-it-all," Chishiya cut in, shaking his head slightly.

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "You just have something to say about everyone, don't you?"

Chishiya gave you a small, amused smile, his gaze softening. "I just know you better than anyone." You pressed your lips together and averted your eyes. 

As the tension hung between you, his gaze softened, and he slowly shifted closer.

“Okay,” he said, and that one word held so many layers. Your eyes widened at his answer, his expression colored with acceptance, understanding, and a promise that this moment would stay between the two of you.

You felt him move closer, his presence warm, the scent of him familiar and comforting. He paused, his eyes meeting yours, and his voice came out in a soft whisper, "Can I touch you?"

You nodded, your breath catching as his hand found its way to your cheek, gently tilting your head towards him. He studied you, his eyes soft, searching yours for hesitation. When he found none, he leaned in, and you closed your eyes, letting the world slip away until it was just him.

His lips met yours softly at first, a brush of warmth that sent a shiver down your spine. He was gentle, deliberate, as though he wanted you to savor every second. Your heart pounded, nerves giving way to an all-consuming warmth as your hands instinctively found the front of his shirt, clinging to him.

Chishiya was careful, patient – letting you find your rhythm. His lips moved against yours, slowly coaxing you to respond. It was sweet at first, like a promise, a reassurance that there was no rush. And then, slowly, you felt the shift. His other hand moved to your waist, pulling you closer, his fingers splayed against your back. The kiss deepened, and a soft sigh escaped you, surprising even yourself.

It was like a spark ignited, and suddenly the air between you two changed. What started out as slow and explorative quickly grew more intense, the hesitancy fading as you both gave in to the want that had simmered for so long.

You pulled away slightly, your breath shaky as you looked into his eyes. "Chishiya, what... what do I do?" you asked, breathless.

“You’re doing amazing,” he sighed with a gentle smile, his thumb brushing your cheek. "Put your hands here," he said, guiding your hands to rest on his shoulders. You followed his lead, feeling the warmth of his skin through the fabric, grounding yourself in the closeness. Slowly, your fingers began to drift, brushing against the side of his neck, feeling the soft skin beneath your touch. He shivered slightly at the sensation, and you hesitated for a moment before your hands came up to gently caress his face, your fingers tracing along his jawline, feeling every detail.

"And what about... my tongue?" you whispered, feeling the blush deepen on your cheeks.

He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours before he spoke. "Follow my lead," he murmured, his voice low and comforting. He tilted his head slightly, and then he demonstrated, his tongue gently parting your lips, coaxing yours to respond. His hand slipped behind your neck, fingers threading into your hair as he deepened the kiss, moving slowly to let you mirror him.

You hesitated for a moment, then tentatively moved your tongue against his, feeling a rush of warmth as he responded with a quiet hum of approval. His hand guided you closer, his lips moving more insistently now, urging you to follow his rhythm. Your fingers tightened around his shirt, the fabric bunching between your knuckles, and you felt him smile slightly against your lips, as if proud of how quickly you were catching on.

His teeth grazed your bottom lip, a gentle nip that made you gasp against his mouth, and his hand slipped lower, cupping your jaw tenderly as if grounding you in the moment. Your heart pounded, heat pooling in your chest as you clung to him, feeling the intensity build between you.

Chishiya’s breath was shaky as he pulled away for just a moment, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes still closed as he whispered, “Is this okay?”

You nodded, unable to find words, your cheeks flushed and your lips tingling. It was more than okay – it was everything you had imagined and more. You leaned in, capturing his lips again, and he responded immediately, a quiet groan escaping him as he pulled you impossibly closer, your bodies pressed together as though to make up for lost time.

His kisses became more urgent, his lips parting against yours, his tongue brushing yours in a way that sent sparks down your spine. You were lost in it, in him – his warmth, the way he held you as if you were the most important thing in his world. You could feel his heartbeat against yours, a steady reminder that this was real, that it was Chishiya who was here with you, giving in to what you both had kept hidden for so long.

And in that moment, you didn’t care about anything else. Not the nerves that had gnawed at you before, not the fear of what this could mean. All that mattered was the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the feeling of his heartbeat steady beneath your palms. The way his fingers threaded into your hair, his lips moving with a desperation that spoke of everything neither of you had ever said. He kissed you like you were the air he needed to breathe, like letting go was simply not an option. His hands began to wander, one sliding down your back, pressing you closer, while the other moved to your waist, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, brushing against the bare skin of your side.

A shiver ran through you, the sensation of his touch both electrifying and comforting. He pulled back just slightly, his lips hovering over yours as he looked into your eyes, his gaze dark and filled with emotion. "Do you want to keep going?" he murmured, his voice barely audible, yet filled with a raw intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

You swallowed, nodding, your breath catching as you whispered, "Yes." His lips curved into a small smile, and he leaned in, capturing your lips once more, his kisses growing more heated, more insistent. His hand traveled up your side, fingers grazing your skin, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. You felt your own hands move, sliding up his neck, your fingers brushing through his hair, tugging him closer.

The world seemed to narrow to just this – his touch, his breath, his body against yours. The way his hand slipped under your shirt, his fingers splaying across your back, pulling you impossibly closer. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest, each beat echoing the intensity of the moment. His lips left yours, trailing along your jaw, down to the sensitive skin of your neck, and you tilted your head, giving him better access, a soft sigh escaping you.

His breath was hot against your skin, his lips gentle yet possessive as he pressed open-mouthed kisses along your neck, his teeth grazing just enough to send shivers down your spine. Your hands tightened in his hair, your body arching into his touch, the warmth between you growing, consuming.

He whispered your name, the sound sending a thrill through you, and then his voice came again, softer, more vulnerable. "You have no idea, do you?" he murmured, his lips brushing against your skin between words. "How long I've wanted this... wanted you."

Your breath hitched, your heart pounding at the confession. You pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes, and you saw it there – the emotion he'd kept hidden for so long. The walls he always put up were gone, leaving nothing but raw honesty. "Chishiya..." you whispered, your voice trembling.

He cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing your cheeks. "I tried to pretend I didn't care, that I could just be your friend. But I can't. I need you... more than anything." His eyes searched yours, a mixture of fear and hope in his gaze. "Tell me you feel the same."

You nodded, tears welling in your eyes as you whispered, "I do. I've always felt the same." A smile broke across his face, and he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was filled with everything he'd kept locked away – all the love, the longing, the need. It was intense, consuming, and you kissed him back with everything you had, your heart swelling with the overwhelming truth of it all: you loved him, and you always had.

His hands roamed down your body, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist before slipping beneath your shirt, the touch searing against your bare skin. You gasped into his mouth, the sensation both thrilling and comforting as he pulled you closer, as though trying to erase any distance between you. His lips left yours, trailing down your jaw to your neck, where he pressed kisses that were both gentle and possessive, each one drawing a soft moan from your lips.

Chishiya's breath was ragged against your skin, his voice a whisper. "I want you," he murmured, the words sending a shiver down your spine. His hands moved upwards, brushing against your ribs, his thumbs skimming the edge of your bra. He paused, his eyes meeting yours, seeking permission, and you nodded, your heart pounding.

He kissed you again, deeper this time, his hands exploring with a tenderness that made your heart ache. Your own hands moved over his chest, feeling the defined muscles beneath his shirt, before slipping it up, your fingers grazing the warmth of his skin. He broke the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it aside before his lips found yours again, more urgent now, more desperate.

You felt his skin against yours, the heat of him enveloping you as his hands moved to your back, unclasping your bra with practiced ease. He pulled away slightly, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered, "You're perfect," his eyes filled with adoration. He slipped your bra off, his gaze never leaving yours, and you could feel the intensity of his desire, the way he looked at you as if you were the only thing that mattered.

His lips found yours once more, his hands now exploring every inch of your bare skin, his touch setting your nerves alight. You were lost in him, in the way he made you feel, every kiss, every caress pushing you further into a haze of warmth and need. His mouth moved down your neck, his teeth grazing your collarbone before he pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses along your chest, his hands holding you as if you were something precious, something he never wanted to let go.

His hands moved lower, tracing every curve, his fingers brushing the waistband of your pants as his lips continued their journey down your body. You arched into him, a soft moan escaping as he paused, his gaze meeting yours again, his eyes filled with an unspoken question. You nodded, your breath coming in shallow gasps, and he gave a small, tender smile before continuing, his hands slipping beneath the fabric, sliding them off slowly, deliberately, his gaze never leaving yours.

His touch was everywhere, his lips following the path his hands traced, leaving you trembling beneath him. The intimacy of it all, the way he looked at you with so much care, made your heart swell, the love and desire blending into something overwhelming. He murmured your name, his voice thick with emotion, and you responded with a whisper of his, your fingers threading through his hair, pulling him closer, needing him in every possible way.

Chishiya's movements were slow, careful, his hands and lips guiding you through every sensation, until there was nothing else – just the two of you, together, everything else fading away. His breath mingled with yours, his body moving with yours as he brought you closer, each touch and kiss filled with a promise, an unspoken vow that this moment was yours, and he was yours, completely.

Afterward, as you both lay tangled together, breaths mingling and hearts still pounding, Chishiya looked at you with a smirk tugging at his lips. "I dropped so many hints, and you missed every single one," he teased, his voice soft but laced with amusement.

You let out a laugh, nudging his side playfully. "You were just as bad!" 

He raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Elaborate?"

You rolled your eyes, a playful grin on your face as you propped yourself up on your elbows. "Like that time I kept asking you to help me study for that class I already had an A in, just because I wanted an excuse to spend time with you. Kuina walked in and saw us sitting way too close, and she said, 'If this is your idea of tutoring, Chishiya, you’re not even trying to be subtle.' And you just smirked like it was nothing!"

Chishiya's smile softened, his fingers brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "Maybe I was just waiting for you to say something first."

You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips. "And here I thought you were supposed to be the genius."

Chishiya smirked, tilting his head slightly. "What about when I made sure we ended up paired together for every group project? Or that time I walked you home in the rain and conveniently 'forgot' my umbrella so you'd have to share yours?"

A flush crept your cheeks. "You did that on purpose?"

"Of course," he said with a soft chuckle, his tone teasing but his gaze warm. Pulling your closer, his lips brushed your forehead. "I guess we were both pretty clueless." He paused, his gaze meeting yours, sincerity shining in his eyes. "But I'm glad we finally figured it out."

You smiled, your heart swelling with affection. "Me too."

And as you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that whatever came next, you would face it together–no more doubts, no more hesitations, just the two of you.

[erwinsvow]

unintentionally falling asleep on jack abbot's arms GOD i need him so bad..

it would happen on one of those nights—a really long, never-ending night. since the moment you had stepped into the hospital, it had been back-to-back car accidents and gunshot victims. one of those nights where you can't seem to recall how many people you've helped save, because it seems like that number is lower than the ones you lost.

you usually have a routine during your night shifts. it's supposed to be less chaotic than the day, you're supposed to have time for your coffee at nine-thirty, your tea at one in the morning. it's nearing three, and you haven't had time to stop for either, just sips of water and half a can of an energy drink that you keep in the snack drawer that you share with dr. abbot, in case of emergencies.

and even the fact that you'd reached for it so early in the shift should have been a sign to you, that this was going to be one of those nights. but even as hard as it is, when you look up and meet reassuring hazel eyes, you know that you'll be okay. that you've done for your best for this patient, that you'll continue doing the most you can for all the rest that come into the trauma room tonight.

and around three-thirty, there's a lull. jack always says that five to seven is the hardest part of the shift, that the two hours at the end dictate how you go home feeling. those two hours are make or break, but right before them, that's when there's a lull. it's when the patients waiting for beds upstairs finally doze off. it's when the chairs are finally a little emptier. when notes are finished, when a fresh pot of coffee is made, when food is eaten.

four am might be your favorite hour in the emergency department. it's just quiet enough that you can hear jack's steady breathing from the computer next to you. he has to sign off on all of your notes—all the resident notes, all the nurses orders, and this is the best time to do it.

and it's hard, because he's really attuned to you. all you've been wanting to do recently is make jack feel the same way he makes you feel. heard, seen, recognized. you bring him a cup of coffee once it's been fifteen minutes without an incoming, your personal way of telling that you should have at least another ten without one. that's about how long it'll take him to finish the cup, so you bring it to him, in your yellow mug, and take a seat next to him.

you take one sip—but it's black, and you prefer yours with enough cream and sugar to make your teeth hurt. he laughs when you make a face, and then he takes the cup back into his hands, fingers brushing for a second. jack takes a big sip and sets it down, his hand lingering on the handle near where your hand is resting. he's reading notes and clicking a button on the keyboard.

"do you want a cup, sweetheart?" he asks quietly, making sure no one can hear him.

he doesn't care, but he knows that you do. but when he turns to get an answer, your eyes are drooping. somewhere between the repetitive clicks of the keys and your boyfriend's steady breathing, you momentarily drifted off.

"sweetheart?" jack repeats, and you sit up a little straighter, jolting out of it at his voice.

"yeah?" you blink quickly, like that'll wake you up. "what is it? incoming?" you almost get up, but jack brings his warm hand to your knee. you sink back down into the chair.

"no. it's nothing." he wants to offer you a cup but if you drink it now, you won't go back to sleep. "go back to your notes."

wordlessly, you comply, staring back at the screen. back to your own personal sound machine—calm heart monitors in the distance, jack typing something. you try to focus on the screen but your attention goes to how the veins and muscles in his forearm move everytime he brings the cup to his mouth for a sip. that's enough to get your eyes to shut again.

his arm rests next to you yours. and without even trying to, you end up slouched over, head resting on his arm. even at home, you sleep like this sometimes. you think that jack's arm must hurt, but if it does, he's never complained or told you to stop.

it's good that you're sleeping while you can. it's one of those times his favoritism can actually make an appearance—there's not a single other resident that gets to fall asleep in front of their attending, much less on their attending. and you need it—he can tell. you're still adjusting to the demands of night shift and this has probably been one of the worst nights since you started.

it's the kind of shift that would usually end with him up on the roof, but surprisingly, while watching your shoulders rise and fall with each breath, he hasn't thought about the roof once tonight. instead he thinks about what he'll make for breakfast when he takes you home. he'll have you shower first if you two go to your apartment—it's too small, not comfortable enough for you both. but if it's his place, then together it is. maybe he'll wash your hair for you, or let you cry against his chest under hot water.

you bought this sleeping spray stuff when you started, but when you come over to sleep in his bed, you haven't needed it once. hopefully this little nap and the cup of coffee he'll make for you at five-thirty won't ruin your sleep schedule more than it already is. he's remembering something about a pilates class you were talking about and an episode of that trashy reality show you love so much when he hears it—the almost silent yet completely recognizable laugh of his other residents.

shen and ellis look at your sleeping form, and then move their gaze to him.

"not a word," he says quietly. he's lost use of one hand but it doesn't really seem to matter, not as long as you get to close your eyes for thirty minutes.

"just one question-"

"-yeah, when's my turn?"

[beloveds-embrace]

Hello, I really liked your Dukedome au, and I imagine how reader would when Jhon told her about his boys and she was okay with it, but maybe, unconsciously, she doesn't want the guys to misunderstood her relationship whit Jhon, so she star treating them in a very distant/formal way(probably she doesn't even notice either, its not like she is upset or something)

Like, no more cute nicknames for them or cute giggles, she stop looking out for them as often and they notice.

I just like angst I'm sorry 😭

They would notice immediately because ever since your mind subconsciously accepted that no one here would chastise or correct you, you've basically turned the nickname into a part of their name, always said so gently. Or when you'd seek their company out yourself, simply happy to spend time with them.

But then you convince yourself that perhaps you are making them uncomfortable, that maybe you are getting between them and John especially, so you decide it'd be best to just stop. No more nicknames, no more purposely going to spend time with them, just a very calm and respectful camaraderie. It should be fine, shouldn't it? No doubt they'd even be happy, having more privacy without you encroaching on their space.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. First day, they notice that you aren't calling them with those dearly beloved nicknames in that sweet tone of yours, but they assume it might just be something distracting you. They are sure it'll get better.

Second day, they realize you haven't gone to any of them. Haven't had breakfast sitting with Johnny, haven't visited John in his office, haven't taken your walk with Kyle or checked the library to read with Simon. Going over the conversations each and everyone of them has had with you, trying to see if they’d hurt or upset you in any way only to come up empty-handed.

Third day is the last day. There’s genuine fear they might havr royally fucked up. But it doesn’t explain why you are still calm and gentle as ever, greeting them if you happen to run into them but no more cute nicknames or lingering to speak to them. It hurts more because they do hear you still use them for others, but not them.

Fourth day is the last straw. Kyle is there first thing in the morning, greeting you awake with a big bouquet from John and Simon and a tray of so much it’s surprising it even fit on the tray- made by Johnny and Kyle both.

“My lady,” he smiles at you, setting it down on the coffee table a little away. It takes effort not to frown when you just mumble a confused “Kyle?” With no nicknames like love or honey.

“My lady,” he repeats, voice soft and apologetic- almost desperate. “Whatever I’ve done- whatever we’ve done, we truly apologize for it.” He starts. And then asks for your forgiveness again, apologies falling out.

Meanwhile, you are just confused as fuck. And still in your nightgown. What is he- what are all of them even apologizing for, anyways?

[aninipanin1]

Hihi, here is some food for thought, albeit rather niche!

Ex-Professional Footballer Young Manager who agrees to play as a substitute player in a match in exchange for a major business sponsor for Blue Lock, and suddenly was absent from the Blue Lock Facility for a week because of it. The Blue lock boys (who didn't know about her football background bc she didn't think it was anything impressive compared to their achievements in Blue lock) panicking thinking Ego locked her off, only to end up learning the truth and watching (fanboying over) her match.

STRIKER OF THE HEART AND GAME

Notes: Yall never fail to give me the most, diabetic and tooth-decaying ideas to write. Theyre all so sweet, and I love reading ALL your asks.

"Good luck, Y/n-chan! You can do it!" Anri cheered beside you, watching you put on your cleats and gloves inside the sports bag as you sat on the tiles ground of Ego's office.

Speaking of the man, he had his back on you, eyes focused on the CCTV cameras around the facility as he watched the players practice in their own respective stratums and places. He was the epitome of calm, cool, and collected, opposite of the pounding of your heart just thinking about playing the sport once again.

Well, its not like Ego is about to be subbed in a team as its center midfielder where he has no prior knowledge or experience playing with, and being expected to dominate nonetheless.

"Thank you, Anri-san! Um...I'll try my best."

"Why are you nervous, Y/n-chan?"

A squeak was heard from Ego's swivel chair, as the man turned around to face you, his eyes disapproving and empty as it always looked. He stood up before folding his upper half forward to meet your eyes.

"You are in Blue Lock. A team already passed the average-at-best standard and world of Japan. Even if you are a manager here, you know the key to awaken your true capability, you know your own ego and strengths. Use them, use them wisely. I chose you as the manager of this place for a reason."

You looked at the man, your main mentor ever since you have been in this place with a smile. One large enough to brighten up your whole face. You know that even if his words came out somewhat harsh, this is his way of caring. Having seen it time and time again with how he interacted with the Blue Lockers, it was his way of comforting and at the same time looking out for your pre-game morale.

"Of course, Ego-san! I'll win this game!"

And with that, you headed out of the facility, inside one of the buses provided by the higher-ups and started the journey to where the match will be held.

"Y/n-chan! Let's eat lunch togeth- Eh? Y/n-chan?"

Shidou burst through your office door, ready to jump and hug you, and hopefully, have you join him in the cafeteria to eat lunch. But to his surprise, you were not there.

You would always be there when it was lunchtime, writing down some things or eating away in the confines of the room. But today, you were nowhere to be seen.

Shrugging, the striker just hopped his way to the cafeteria, thinking that you may be there. But to his chagrin, you also were not there. Shidou started to get a bit upset and sad, after all, he has not seen you for hours! He needs his daily dose of Y/n.

"Hey, has any of you guys seen Y/n? I haven't seen her since breakfast. She told me she'd help me schedule my workouts." The blonde heard Karasu talking with the other PXG members in the cafeteria.

But much to their worries, everyone seemed to be experiencing the same thing. No one has seen you since you entered the cafeteria to eat breakfast, and that was very unlike you. You would usually be walking around the facility, helping with the players and staff or even accomplishing your never ending responsibilities and tasks.

"Hmm, maybe she is just busy in her office? Or with Ego-san? We know how her work piles up aomost every second. I feel bad for her." Nanase answered Karasu's inquiry. His theory was not that farfetched and could possibly be true if Shidou did not just went there a few minutes ago.

"She isn't in her office, headband. I tried to look for her everywhere, but she isnt here."

"Not even in a different stratum?" Karasu added.

"Dunno. Didn't check."

"Then don't assume, idiots. She's probably in the other stratums-" But Karasu was cut off when their door to the cafeteria opened to reveal Reo who looked a bit panicked.

"Has any of you guys seen Y/n-chan around in your stratum?"

"Er, no. Why?"

"Then she's really missing. I've been running around the other stratums to ask if they've seen her anywhere but she is nowhere! You guys are the last place I asked and...well you get the idea."

Now that made all of them panic, where were you?!

Looking around at each other, they nodded as if they thought the same thing at the same time. There was definitely only one person who knows where you are.

Welp, time to go to Ego's office.

"What?" The man said, annoyed and a bit angry at the accusatory questions. Well, it was not accusatory but the thought of doing what the players were saying made him feel like they think he was dumb.

"Was she kicked out and we'll get a new manager?!" Reo said, panicking.

"What?! No, Y/n-chan is the best. You can't do that!" Charles said, frowning heavily. His teeth bared as if he was ready to bite Ego if he did confirm he kicked you out.

"Oi, four eyes if you kicked her out, I will kick you literally." Shidou threatened.

"Did she leave us here?" Rin said. Even if his voice sounded neutral and cold, there was a slight crack that indicated he was absolutely heartbroken if that was the case.

"No, you idiots. She didn't leave, nor did I kick her out. I am not dumb and she pampers you all too much for her to just leave." Ego rolled his eyes at the overdramatic and outlandish thoughts they had. Instead, he turned his swivel chair to face the monitors that were mounted on the wall.

"She is out for the week. She has to play in some matches. Unfortunately, no is not an option since it was tue JFU's decision. Now leave and go back to training, or else someone will indeed be kicked out of this place, and it's not her. Now go."

This definitely made the PXG team's (and Reo's) ears perk up in interest. You? Playing in a match? In a football match?! Holy cow, why did they not know? Or better yet, why did you not tell them?

That afternoon, most of the PXG members huddled together as they searched your game in the tablet provided in Blue Lock. And to no one's surprise, it was currently live, and the game is just about to start.

Meanwhile, in the Manshine stratum, Reo dragged both Nagi and Chigiri in their rooms and prepared the tablet.

"What are we even watching, Reo? I wanna play." Nagi mumbled on the pillow, laying down on the purple-haired male's bed stomach down, Chigiri who sat down on his bed as well nodded.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't mind. But it's not that important, is it." Reo looked offended when Chigiri even tried to insinuate that the match was not important.

"What do you mean not important?! Y/n-chan is going to play as their midfielder! Its the most important thing ever! We're already lacking because we're not there at all to support her! So we have to support her from here."

Now that got Chigiri to straighten up, and Nagi awake, both their eyes wide. They thought it would just be a normal exhibition match. But Reo did not mention you would be playing! Then maybe they would have immediately paid attention.

"You mean Y/n-chan is playing?!" Chigiri said in shock.

"Y/n-chan...I want to watch...!" Nagi said, for the first time paying attention to something, his once half-lidded eyes wide awake and focused on the screen of the tablet.

"Yeah! I didn't tell you?" Reo asked to which he just got a pillow thrown on his face, courtesy of Chigiri.

"No, you dumbass! Just start playing the live, geez."

Needless to say, the two teams even forgot to eat their dinner just to see the end of your match was an understatement. The members were too focused on their screens.

Charles, Rin, Shidou, Chigiri, Reo, and even sometimes Nagi would be muttering curses and mean words towards your teammates who would fail to receive the ball that you so graciously give them from the midfield. There were even times when you would give it to them in a place optimal for a goal, with a pass that even an amateur can score a goal with but they would still miss.

"That number 9 is a fucking idiot." Rin rolled his eyes.

"Number 9? You mean number 21! She is the worst striker I have ever seen! Hmph! If I was (nickname) I would never pass to her!" Charles said throwing his fists up in the air.

"Why is she even the striker? Y/n-chan should have been the striker, and instead, she's stuck at the midfield." Karasu commented.

"Poor Y/n-chan. The enemy team is already ahead of 2 points, and they still have none." Tokimitsu said the moment he saw your face when the camera panned at you. You looked stressed and a bit annoyed at your incompetent teammates.

"If I was her, I would have probably punched that number 21 girl." Shidou said with the angriest face anyone has seen him. After all, they were strikers, and they know a good pass when they see one. Yours were absolutely perfect every time, and if they received a pass like that, they would never waste it away by being locked by the goalkeeper orget stolen by the other team.

The Manshine players were not fairing well either. Reo was clenching the poor blanket too harsh in anger at their strikers and even the defenders and midfielders for leaving you alone at times and not syncing with your smart plans.

"Absolutely horrendous!! Why didn't they go there?! Even an idiot would know that Y/n-chan lured the other team's players there for a reason!" Reo complained.

"They're absolutely brainless at the game." Chigiri rolled his eyes, although he did feel a little amused that someone like Reo, who is usually a gentleman to girls, throwing curse words at the players.

"Hmm...I would be so happy if Y/n-chan gave me a perfect pass like that. She would even clear up some of the defenders just so number 21 or nymber 10 can score a goal." Nagi commented, a frown on his face, not liking that your team was losing.

But of course, when you make a mistake, its forgivable. Like the one time you received the ball a bit sloppily, mainly because you were growing tired.

"Well duh, of course she would miss. She's tired of carrying the whole team on her shoulders." Reo said.

In the dying minutes of the game, with only less than 10 minutes left, with the score being 2-0 in favour of the opposing team, you seemed to have had enough. You became a ballhog, dribbling like a pro against the defenders and midfielders, using your teammates as shields just for you to score a goal.

And let's just say that if Ego was not watching the match as well, he would have scolded the two teams for screaming like wild animals when you scored.

"Now that's a goal you fucking idiots!" Shidou laughed and jumped like a monkey along with Charles.

"She's the only decent player, which sucks." Rin rolled his eyes.

Some of the members of your team ran to congratulate with you, but instead of celebrating, you turned to the striker who looked a bit annoyed that you did not pass to her and scored yourself.

"If you can't do your work as a striker. Then I will do it and score. Do me a favour and get out of my way, that's the least you can do to help this team win."

Everyone was silent after you said it with a straight and emotionless face, just watching you walk away to your place in the court. To say that the striker was pissed was an understatement. She was the striker of this team for more than three years now! She was also older than you, meaning she deserved respect, and you had the audacity? You were just an intern, a replacement of their midfielder.

The other team members were split into two. Some who are close to the striker immediately sided with her and started to glare at you, while some who really wanted to win were more on your side, but they decided to just stay neutral and continue playing.

Until the end of the game, you were a ballhog, passing scarcely to avoid it being stolen by the enemies.

'Tsk, at least some of the defenders in this team are decent.'

Doing a quick roulette on the defender in front of you and immediately holding the shoulder of the one to your left. You squinted your eyes and shot another goal, this time it had a bit of curve to it that the goalkeeper did not read so it resulted into another miracle goal, or atleast thats what they called it because there was only 2 minutes left in the game.

Everyone in the stadium were on their feet, even the commentators stood up shouting in their mic in amazement.

"What...WHAT A GOAL!! THE INFAMOUS MANAGER OF BLUE LOCK HERSELF, Y/N L/N, SCORED A MIRACLE GOAL! A GOAL THAT EQUALIZES HER TEAM!"

In the end, there came an additional time but unfortunately, no goal came. After all, you were tired beyond belief as stamina had always been your problem and hence why you do not play much anymore.

So, it came to penalties. You managed to score your own penalty, but to say that your other teammates flopped was an understatement. The other team, however, managed to score 2 penalty goals, hailing them the winner of the match.

The boys, who watched in the Blue Lock facility, were more than pissed of course. You lost because of those stupid teammates of yours that dragged you down. The worst part is that they know you can produce better plays if only your teammates can catch up to it.

Ego, who waa watching remained neutral as ever, while Anri was gripping her hair in annoyance.

"It can't be helped. This is why we are striving to change Japanese football, Anri-chan." Ego said.

In the locker room, you remained quiet and neutral as always as you took a shower and changed into your normal clothes. But as you did, the striker of the team came out, her face contorted in annoyance.

"We lost because you were a fucking ballhog. Why couldn't you just pass the ball to me or Hana over here? Heck even to Aiyo-"

"Not really. We lost because none of you scored your penalties. Even if not all of you did, if only some of you did, we could have won. My ballhog move was for the best, after all, it was the one that scored us two points and equalized us. It was even the reason we got to play longer." You said with a straight face, just saying facts. But to the others, especially to the striker, you were bragging about being the best in the team and dissing their skills which pissed her off more.

If it was not for the manager walking in, the situation would have gotten worse. Thankfully, the manager was not any of the players as he congratulated and thanked you for your hat trick. And said, it was very much impressive seeing as the opposing team was one of the strongest in Japan.

"It's nothing, sir. I still had fun playing. Thank you."

With one last bow you left them to themselves.

"Why did you not tell us about this?!" Isagi said, mad and horrified. The other two teams did not tell them that you were playing matches and that you did one yesterday and he did not get to watch it?!

"Yeah! Chigiri, you're so mean!" Bachira said with a pout, while Niko just agreed.

"I'll tell Ubers about this. They have another one tomorrow right?"

"Yeah. At 7:30 pm. We wanted to support Y/n-chan even if we're stuck here. But be aware, her team is so shit it gets annoying and that Y/n is the only carrying that team. So yeah..." Chigiri said to which Isagi just shrugged.

"Oh, it can't be that bad, right?"

Oh, how wrong he was. Wednesday came, and all the teams all camped in a meeting room (inside the Bastard Munchen stratum) and set up the live (they managed to convince Ego, which was surprising but knowing his favouritism towards you, it was not that surprising).

At first, it was just the Blue Lockers, but when Kaiser, along with Ness, entered the meeting room, they were a little curious.

"Leave, Kaiser." Isagi rolled his eyes, to which the German just smirked.

"Oh, but I heared little Y/n will be playing a game. I want to watch how she does, of course."

Now, the meeting room was crowded as hell. Even some of the masters went to watch, for God's sake. The moment the match started, the whole pace was quiet down, and everyone's attention was on the screen of the large tv.

You got the ball early in the game as you dribbled past the midfielders and decided to give the strikers one chance to prove if they'll be worth passing to in this match.

You decided to give a curved pass accurate to where number 21 was, till now you did not really have any care to know what her name was. It was a pass that was easy to score a goal with. You put a good spin to it, and it was optimal for any type of straight shot.

Even the Blue Lockers rolled their eyes at this, not liking that you're going easy on your team, especially after what happened last game.

"If she doesn't score that, I don't have any hope for any of them at all, except Y/n-chan." Chigiri commented, remembering how pissed he was when he watched the previous game.

They all watched the striker, receiving the ball with the side of her right foot and kicked to the net only for it to hit the goalpost, bouncing on it to end outside.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Isagi let out, everyone started to curse as well as the others.

"I mean, I would make a comment about how they're a Division 3 team. But anyone could have scored that goal..." Yukimiya said, shaking his head. This was a professional team? He thinks not.

"I think I know that striker girl. I have heard of her before... yeah. She was supposedly good, guess fame got to her head and she didn't improve anymore." Niko said, thinking back to some articles he has read about her. If that was the case, it would be rather sad that she wasted her talents and skills to remain in that same level forever instead of bettering herself.

After that fluke of a goal, you ended up just passing the ball to some of the defenders and midfielders who are much more efficient in protecting the ball or even scoring. After all, you were not used to being a ballhog, and the last game was just a desperate measure. But now, you had time to flesh out the game and your strategies instead of going all instinct.

Passing to one of the midfielders whom you knew named Yuko, you let her weave her way through the enemies before using her being stuck in the middle of two of them as a way for her to have no choice but pass it to you, which she did. You received it through the small opening before running through the field, dribbling the ball as fast as you can (you weren't a natural like Bachira or even Lavinho, but you weren't bad at it) before you were stopped by the opponent's defenders, who were lured by the aspect that you were not the best dribbler they have seen and to hopefully steal the ball.

Instead of fighting or dribbling past them, you kicked the ball high. It was high enough to seem like it was a pass, only it was to get past the defenders. It curved downwards as the goalkeeper tried to catch it, to no avail.

You scored your first goal of the night. And by God, was it magical to see. You were like a magical siren, elegantly swimming past the defenders, luring them using your elegant plays and seemingly understandable and naive plays so they can try and intercept you, only for you to turn around and be the one to make use of their belief that you were an easy. Just like the old sailors who thought that the beautiful girl in the middle of the ocean was an innocent woman, lured in by her beauty and hypnotizing voice, only to be dragged down the sea in despair.

You were that. Beautiful yet deadly. This was something none of the players or even masters have seen.

You looked ahead at the goal, not even celebrating as you just wiped the sweat on your forehead. As if you did not just plunge the opposing defenders into your sea, drowning them in despair.

"Damn...I've never seen her play...I kinda wish I did before..." Oliver said, breathless. The rest seemed like it as well, as if they were the players on the field, affected by your siren song.

"Now I get why Ego called her play...hypnotizing once...this is what he meant..." Kunigami added.

"Heh, a play that is so beautiful yet naive looking to lure in those around her, only to turn around and show her hidden monstrous side the moment she's in her golden zone for a goal. A killer playstyle that kid got." Lavinho said as he rested his back on the walls. You looked like you were dancing on the field so beautifully and elegantly. He would know since he was a dancer. And now he wonders if you had any backgrounds in dancing. The way you position your foot, your posture, the way you moved, and your isolation, it all reminded him of a dancer. He'll have to ask you.

"See! I told you guys. Y/n-chan is absolutely breathtaking when she plays." Bachira said excitedly. He had you play with him before, and he had a taste of your true ego before. Needless to say, it was one of the reasons why he had a crush on you somewhat. Your posture and the way you moved with a ball at the time to him was the perfect form for dribbling. And so, he would ask you for help in training and well, it was brutal but fun.

"Hmm, now I know your hidden side, Y/n. That crazy four-eyes definitely picked the right person to be the manager of these losers." Kaiser whispered under his breath.

ADDITIONAL TIME:

After the game:

Blue Lock is WRITTEN by Kaneshiro Muneyuki and ILLUSTRATED by Nomura Yusuke. All credits to the both of them.

[goldenstring6123]

HIIIYAAAYAYA I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH AND I LOOK FORWARD TO EVERY SINGLE PIECE YOU RELEASE!!! YOU HAVE ME CHECKING YOUR PAGE 24/7 IM OBSESSEDDD 🫦🫦 ANYWHO ignore my fawning but how do you think the lads boys would react to a suuuuper clingy gf??? idk but if i were mc i would NOT be leaving their side and would literally be glued onto their body like mc is a strong soldier for resisting (especially rafayel my HUSBAND 😩) literally wanna just curl up in their lap and carve myself into their ribcage so they can never escape from me tehe. ALSOOO U DON’T GOTTA RESPOND IF UR BUSY OR UNCOMFY!!!! JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS WRITING 🫶🫶

Lnds: Sticky little lover

Warning: vaguely suggestive, mentions of hickeys, fem!reader, clingy!reader, reader may or may not be the mc, there might be spelling mistakes, I haven't proofread yet.

Author's note: Awieee thank u sm pookie! I understand the feeling of wanting to latch onto the LIs~

Zayne:

Zayne wakes up with you on his chest, your leg over his crotch, and your arm across his stomach. To him, you were like a weighted stuffed toy and a weighted blanket, all at the same time. He wasn't complaining; maybe it was an excuse to stay in bed for another half an hour.

The bathroom is big enough for the two of you, with two wash basins, a separate shower, and a bathtub. There are three bathrooms in the house, but you always choose the one he uses. He's complained once, but you said you didn't like the interior design of the others. Side by side, you brush your teeth and comb your hair while he shaves and flosses. If you wake up earlier than usual, maybe he'll let you moisturize and exfoliate his face. It's no surprise Zayne leaves the bathroom door open for you. It's just normal for both of you to cross paths in the large bathroom.

When he leaves for work, you never miss a day to kiss his nose and give him a quick peck. You embrace him with two arms, but he hugs you back with one, the other hand holding his bag. You don't mind.

Your message gallery is filled with pictures of your mundane life: a snapshot of a book you're reading, the new coffee you tried, the little teacup Maltese that reminded you of him. Even though he's busy, he always finds time to react, and if he doesn't, he brings up the picture when you pick him up at the end of the day. He never forgets.

Calm days are spent in each other's presence. You always cling to him in one way or another. While he's reading a book, your feet are on his lap, and his fingers unknowingly knead your ankles. While watching a movie, your shoulders touch, and your hands are intertwined. When you react to the film, his hand, still holding yours, follows your movements.

Dates are always fun. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do as long as Zayne's in your company. Cafe dates are cute, but Zayne always calls you out for staring at him with a weird look in your eyes—you were admiring him. Whenever you walk, you cling to him, wrapping yourself around his forearm while playfully weighing him down. He stumbles for a second but smiles.

You love leaving hickeys on him, even bite marks if he allows, but the rule is never above the collar of his shirt. You oblige 97% of the time. The other 3%, you sneak in a light hickey that passes off as a mosquito bite, just peeking through the collar of his dress shirt. Sometimes, there's one behind his ear, barely visible. He never knows, but the doctors and patients at the hospital do.

When you're apart, you always call him and go about your day. At night, you video call and try to stay awake, only to snooze off. Zayne chuckles at your attempts to wash the tiredness away, but sometimes, he falls asleep with you. In the morning, both of your phones end up overheating and out of battery.

Zayne loves your company, to others it may seem trouble some but with you, it was adorable. It's through your clingyness that he experiences feelings he never once did before, and those little things always brighten his day. You actions with him makes him feel more loved and he knows he has a hard time expressing them but with you around, it had become more and more easier.

Rafayel:

They say opposites attract, but you and Rafayel are the universal exception.

Rafayel doesn't like it when you're late. Even for a home-date, he fusses about being left alone too long and feeling abandoned. You laugh at his whining over text and enter his door. When he sees you, he jumps off the couch and pouts, "Finally, it took you long enough."

You're like magnets to each other. Wherever one goes, the other follows. If you're cooking ramen in the kitchen, Rafayel sneaks behind you, hugging your back and sniffing your hair. If he's watering flowers in the greenhouse, you sit nearby and watch a ladybug on a leaf. If he's painting, you're reading on a nearby couch. Rafayel's residence is too big for one person but just enough for two.

Rafayel whines when you do something without him, especially if it's something he wants to do. You once took a flower arrangement class without him, and he sulked, "Wow, you didn't even think to tell me? I wanted to do that with you." Even watching movies is hard because you need to pause and wait for him whenever he leaves the room. One time, you finished a mystery series without him, and he ate the tiramisu you were saving for dessert in revenge.

Matching clothes is a thing. He avoids tacky prints but opts for complementary outfits. Because of this, Rafayel buys clothes with you in mind, often choosing items with a feminine counterpart. His shoe closet and yours are practically the same, and you don't complain because Rafayel has good fashion taste.

You love cute matching items. You once bought a two-piece mug set with a heart design, and he took the other one without you knowing. He also took a keychain from your collection, matching the one you have in your wallet.

"Are you tired of me now?" he asks when you keep your distance, avoiding a hug. It's the middle of summer, and the AC is broken. You reek of sweat, and the last thing you want is to be touched. You sigh and pat his back, "After I take a bath, I'll give you all the hugs you want."

He asks about your plans every morning, almost as a ritual. You've gotten used to replying while getting ready. If both schedules permit, he joins you for grocery runs, laundry, or whatever mundane tasks you have. You make good use of him, letting him carry the bags even if you could do it yourself.

When Rafayel is at an exhibit, you bombard him with texts: jokes, articles, or random thoughts. He replies quickly, hiding from the audience, bored out of his mind. In return, he sends you pictures of his artwork, which you threaten to sell online as digital files. He blocks you for a good five minutes.

You're each other's wallpaper. Surprisingly, Rafayel asked to do it. You spent hours finding the perfect pose and recreating trending ones. Rafayel insisted on multiple retakes.

You were rafayel's missing piece. To him, you were the only thing that he has ever wanted in his life. He loved you dearly and a part of him was terrified that you don't reciprocate the same level of love as he does to you; but lo and behold, fate has given him a blessing after all those years of loneliness. His heart swoons at the very sight of your actions. You were clingy, that was factually true but the same goes for him. Nothing makes him more fulfilled than seeing you both think and love in the same wavelength.

Sylus:

His base has become your home. On days off, you often find yourself in one of three rooms: his bedroom, where you lie on his bed, tapping away on your phone or laptop; his kitchen, where the chef cooks whatever you want in exchange for listening to his stories from his little village; or the lobby, where Luke and Kieran update you on the most boring things in the building. Sylus doesn't mind at all; it's less work for Mephisto, and he can keep an eye on you.

Sylus's sleep schedule is the same as that of those in Linkon City. His days begin in the evenings, often leaving you lying in the big bed alone. Sylus is nearby or at his desk if he's not out on the streets. You like hugging his pillow because it smells like his 3-in-1 shampoo. If he's out on late-night trips, you selfishly steal his shirt from the closet, wear it on the pillow, and hug that to sleep, forcing yourself to be satisfied with what you got.

His lap is your chair. It doesn't matter where he's sitting; you always find yourself on him. Sylus sometimes complains about his thighs going numb, but when you leave, he yanks you back, positioning you between his legs, with your butt on the chair instead of his thigh. He goes back to his work as if nothing happened, occasionally sparing you a kiss on the forehead or rubbing his face against yours. If not, you shower his chest and neck with light pecks before snuggling into the crook of his neck.

His biceps are nice to the touch. On dates to the city, while waiting in line, you squeeze his muscles for entertainment, even through his thick leather jacket. He flexes for a minute before relaxing, amused at how easily you entertain yourself.

The boyfriend shirt phenomenon is common. You don't leave the base wearing his clothes, but you certainly walk around the area in them. Whether a turtleneck, a black blouse, or just a plain shirt, you're always wearing his clothes, even in his company.

You're an eccentric one, thats for sure. Sylus never truly got ahold of how you managed to change from being so distant to practically being glued to him. It was like he partnered up with a whole new different person. He wasn't complaining at all if anything, he found it admirable and a part of him was quietly relieved that time did all the adjusting between you and him. Despite being a bit too fussy at times, he'd be more than willing to compromise if that's what makes you happy.

Xavier:

You always steal his hoodies. They're big, soft, and smell like him, so you have two or three at home. Xavier scratches his head when he notices bare hangers in his closet. When you visit, he finally sees what's missing. No matter how many hoodies and jackets he buys for you, you always get your hands on his, almost becoming a problem. Now, he rotates his jackets, giving them to you on schedule.

Xavier's hair is too soft to be human. When he's on your lap, you massage his scalp and fidget with the ends of his silver hair. If you have hair elastics and a cute clip nearby, he ends up with his hair tied up or braided. He needs your help to take it off because it's too painful for him to do alone. Oops?

You prefer sitting beside him rather than across from him at a table. He didn't understand at first because he wanted to face you when eating. But when he's beside you, he slowly gets it. You like touching him one way or another. You enjoy your elbows touching or your thighs grazing each other. It's also convenient to lean slightly and rest your head on his shoulder.

Xavier loves bathing with you. The bathtub in his apartment is big enough for both. He likes the smell of your bath bombs and is sometimes fascinated by the toys or mini jewelry inside. Your back always presses against him, and he willingly holds you. On more stressful days, you light candles and open some cheap wine to enjoy in rose-covered water.

He's riddled with bite marks, even when not having sex. He's dozing off when you suddenly find his arm or leg appetizing. He jolts awake and tries to shake your grip, but it's too tight. When you've had enough, he stares at your work of art and wipes his saliva-coated limb. You grin, watching him wipe your fluids. Because of the frequency, he rarely lets his consciousness drift away when his bare arms and legs are around you.

When bathing alone, you use his shampoo instead of yours. It's surprising he doesn't use all-in-one shampoo and body wash; he uses baby shampoo. When confronted, he shrugs, saying it does the job, and recalls you like playing with his hair. His perfume and powder are also for babies.

In the eyes of Xavier, you were adorable even if your actions were questionable. You were cute, and he never once thought that your actions were a burden or suffocating. The things you do, the way you speak they were all precious in his eyes and Xavier understands that this was you way of showing your love for him. Because of that, he tolerates you every time you bite him.

Your gallery is full of his pictures. Candid photos you secretly take daily. Your favorite is when his cheeks are full of food, resembling a hamster. You take pictures when he's asleep, using you as a pillow. Sometimes, you're both looking at the camera, making random faces.

Author footnotes: I'm sorry if these were pretty general. I'm not the clingy type so I don't know how these type of people act but I wrote it with the things I observed from films and tiktok lol

Layout by me, using Canva premium | Do not repost |

[yuyusbabygirl]

Hii, well idk if u are taking any request rn but I wanted to ask u if u could write some smut drabble of jongho or something like that 'cause I haven't seen a lot of works about him and it's depressing.

If not, thanks for reading this anyways. 🫶🏼✨

All Along, It's Been You (18+)

pairing: Jongho x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff

word count: 5k

content warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI 18+, teasing, best friends to lovers, oral (fem receiving), protected sex (yay), clueless Yeosang

summary: A collection of Jongho touching you and teasing you until you both break

A/N: I had this idea for a while and I finally got around to writing it!

When you had first met Jongho everyone had told you that he wasn’t a big fan of skinship and affection. While you yourself were quite an affectionate person, you had accepted it without protest. Who were you to judge someone for their preferences? So the first time he initiated physical touch, you were thrown off and admittedly a bit frozen. 

You had just arrived at Yeosang’s place for a movie night with him, San and his girlfriend Hana, and Jongho. Yeosang accepted your hug, something you always cherished. You and him had been best friends since kindergarten, one of the only friendships from your childhood that had made it to your twenties. Your friendship had survived silly little teenage crushes, graduation and now you were both in your last year of college. It was during the first year of college that Yeosang had met Jongho. Both of them had taken an introduction to economics, a total failure for both. Their acquaintance had lasted the course however and soon both of them were inseparable. Yeosang had very quickly introduced you two, wanting his two best friends to be friends too. For two years the three of you had been attached at the hip. Figuratively, not literally. Both of them weren’t the biggest fans of skinship, Yeosang had warmed up to it only after 20 years of friendship.

You were just walking into his living room when suddenly, Jongho wrapped one arm around your waist. You felt the warmth of his hand through your shirt, his hard chest pressing against your shoulder. The hug probably lasted for only a second but to you it felt like time had stopped. When he pulled away he slid his hand over your waist down to your hip before removing it completely. He was already walking back to the couch while you still stood in the hallway, your heart trying to calm down. He hadn’t even touched your skin directly but everywhere he touched he had left a fire burning and you weren’t quite sure how to put it out. 

You managed to compose yourself and sat down on the couch next to Hana. If she noticed your flustered state, she didn’t comment on it which you were grateful for. You weren’t even sure how to explain it or if it was even such a big deal. You and Jongho were friends, right? It’s not like he touched you in a sexual way. Then why were your panties wet?

The rest of the evening passed without incident. He had not touched you any more and acted just like Jongho you knew. You were beginning to think you had imagined the beginning of the evening. Until it was time to say goodbye. After movie two, you were tired and decided to head home. When you stood up from the couch to say your goodbyes, Jongho stood as well. 

“I’ll walk you home. I’m beat too,” he announced. You were a bit confused, his apartment was in the complete opposite direction. 

“Are you sure? It’s not far, I can just walk alone,” you questioned. 

“It’s dark out, you’re not walking alone,” he said with a final tone. You nodded and said your goodbyes to the others who didn’t seem to notice anything off. Maybe it was just in your head and Jongho was acting the same as ever. Maybe you were just touch starved.

The walk to your apartment was silent in a comfortable way. You never felt the need to fill the silence with Jongho, you never felt awkward with him. After ten minutes, you arrived at your apartment. You turned to him and were about to do your usual wave goodbye to him when he did it again. He took a step forward and wrapped one arm around your waist, his face close to your ear. 

“Good night, Y/N,” he murmured, his breath tickling your ear. This hug lasted just as long as the first one, it couldn’t have been more than a second. You were sure your cheeks were burning red when he pulled away. You managed to stutter out a good night when he turned and walked in the direction of his place. 

The next time he touched you was when you, Yeosang and Jongho met for coffee near your lecture hall. You had just finished an exam you had been studying for for two weeks in which you holed yourself up in your apartment. They wanted to treat you to something and get you out of your apartment again, knowing you had a tendency to become a hermit during exam season. Coffee was the most you allowed them to treat you to, much to their annoyance. You sat down in a booth after getting your ridiculously sweet coffee with two extra pumps of chocolate. Jongho slid in beside you, not abnormal, but this time he spread his legs so that his thigh touched yours. You pulled your leg away, thinking he may just need more space. You nearly choked on your coffee when his leg simply followed yours. You looked over at him but he wasn’t even looking at you, he simply talked to Yeosang about some soccer thing you never really understood. 

Calm down, it’s just his thigh. 

You tried to keep your leg from twitching and mentally kicked yourself for forgetting how to act normal because of a simple touch. While the two of them talked, you looked down to where your legs touched. You noticed how big his thigh was. You weren’t small by any means, your thighs always filled out any pants you put on. Yet somehow, next to Jongho and his muscular thigh, you felt small. Taking a sip of your coffee, you looked out of the window to distract yourself from that line of thought. It wouldn’t do you any good to think of how strong his thighs were and how he would look on top of you, his thighs flexing as he thrust into you- no, fuck. Stop it.

When it was time for you all to leave is when your mind really went blank. Yeosang stood up and you waited for Jongho to stand up so you could all leave. But before he slid out of the booth, he reached down and put his hand on your thigh. He gave it a gentle squeeze and slid his hand down to your knee before getting up. It was the wrong day to wear a skirt because this time, you felt his touch on your skin. To anyone else, it would have seemed like an innocent touch between friends. After all, he just used your thigh to support himself as he was standing up. But Jongho didn’t do that. He never did. You had never seen him touch anyone like that and he had never done it with you. Your legs felt wobbly as you stood up and you swore you saw a smirk on Jongho’s face. But it was gone before you could read his expression. Yeosang being Yeosang didn’t notice anything. 

It had been a week since then and you had convinced yourself you were overreacting. It was just a few touches and all of them were innocent. Until they weren’t. Jongho was waiting for you outside of the library, both of you supposed to meet San for a study session. You quickly hurried up the steps to where he was standing. you couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked in his hoodie with his bag slung over his shoulder. You shook those thoughts away, not wanting to be obvious. You didn’t see San yet and stopped next to Jongho.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” you panted, having run from your apartment after miscalculating the time it took to dry your hair. 

“No worries, San isn’t even here yet,” he replied and before you could react, he swiped his thumb over your upper lip. Your lips parted and a soft gasp escaped you.

“You had some coffee there,” he said nonchalantly and licked his thumb clean. You swore your heart would never beat normal again. 

What the fuck was happening?

Just as you were about to do something stupid like squeak, San arrived and the three of you walked into the library. And Jongho? He had the audacity to snicker. You weren’t making this up. 

This pattern continued for the next two weeks to the point where you were jumpy around him. Everytime he was close or moved his hand, you tensed up, expecting a touch but never sure where or how. You could tell that he noticed it but he never mentioned it. Instead he used it to his advantage, never touching you when you were bracing for it. He kept you in suspense and always waited for a moment where you let your guard down. You had stopped wearing skirts in fear of your arousal running down your leg every time he touched your skin. You began to pay more attention to his hands. His well kept nails, the veins running down from his hand to his forearm, the knowledge that these hands are strong enough to break apples, a party trick he loved to show off. You began to imagine his hands touching you in different scenarios. Would he hold your wrists down? Would he grip your thighs and spread you open? Would he let you suck his fingers while he fucked you? Every time you had these thoughts, you mentally scolded yourself. He was your friend. Maybe he had just warmed up to physical contact after two years of friendship. 

The touches varied between innocent and less innocent. Most of the time it's a hug or a hand on your thigh. But sometimes he finds an excuse to swipe his thumb over your lips, whisper something in your ear. Once you swore you felt his hand brush over your ass while he shuffled past you in Yeosang's cramped kitchen. And then there was the time his lips brushed against your neck after he had whispered a joke to you. It had taken all your self control not to moan. The whole thing had gotten so bad that you had to invest in a new toy which was now in regular use. Needless to say, Jongho's name slipped out quite frequently when you came. 

It all came to a climax one night when he was over at your place to finish watching a new show you two had started together. You had waited all week to be able to watch the season finale with him. As you walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of snacks in your hand, you looked at Jongho sitting on your couch. He was wearing one of your favourite looks on him, grey sweatpants (your gaze may have dropped to his crotch once or twice) and the shirt that he had to buy at the carnival after dropping Yeosang's and his ice cream onto his own shirt. The shirt reminded you of the night you first realised your feelings for him were more than just platonic.

You sat down next to him on the couch and handed him the bowl. 

“Let's see if they fuck up a perfectly good season,” you commented and pressed play.

“Probably, it seems to be the running curse with every show we've watched together so far,” he snickered.

“You're right. I blame you entirely,” you quipped back and leaned back into the couch, pulling your legs up. He gasped in mock offense.

“Excuse me? What did I do?” he questioned. You let out a laugh at his offended expression.

“Maybe your cynicism is somehow reaching the writers,” you mused playfully. He set the bowl down on your coffee table to be able to properly face you.

“Oh yeah?And how exactly would that work?” he raised his eyebrows at you. 

“I don't know, maybe you astrally projected in your sleep and influenced them with your bad vibes,” you shrugged. A squeak escaped you as you felt his fingers poke your side.

“Oh no, you don't get to squirm away after being a brat,” he laughed and followed you as you tried to flinch away to the other side of the couch. Suddenly, his fingers attacked your sides mercilessly. 

“Ah! No, Jongho! Stop it, that tickles,” you giggled and flailed helplessly on the couch.

“Aw come on, maybe my cynic vibes will make you stop laughing,” he teased and kept tickling your sides. You tried to escape his attack and fell back into the couch. Instead of stopping, he simply leaned over you, one leg beside you on the couch while the other one found its way between yours. You ketpt giggling at his continued assault and tried to push at his shoulders but your strength was useless against the wall of muscle that was Jongho. 

“Say you're sorry,” he demanded, his fingers still tickling your sides.

���Fine! Please, Jongho. I'm sorry!” you gasped out, a few tears escaping from your laughing. His fingers ceased their assault on you, his body draped over yours on the couch. 

“See, that wasn't so hard, was it?” he smirked down at you. Your breathing finally slowed and you looked up at him. Now that you weren't being tickled anymore, you realised the position you two were in. He raised his hand to brush a stray tear from your cheek. Your breath hitched at the contact. His chest was pressing into yours as he hovered over you, his thighs pressing into you. Even after weeks of him touching you at any given opportunity, this was the most physical contact you two have had and you didn't know how to handle it. You desperately wanted to clench your thighs to relieve some pressure but that was impossible with his leg between yours. His arms were braced on either side of your head and you had to restrain yourself from looking to the side to stare at his biceps. 

The scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body made you slightly dizzy. His thigh in between yours shifted slightly and the feel of his muscles tensing against you had you shifting your hips, unconsciously searching for more contact. You saw the corner of his mouth twitch up into a smirk. You suddenly didn't know what to do with your hands, though they were itching to grip his shirt and pull him down to you. 

“You're red. Is it from my tickling or are you suddenly shy?” he teased you. 

“I- I'm just warm,” you squeaked out. He raised one eyebrow and smirked down at you.

“Yeah? Is it hot in here?” Jongho put his hand on your flaming cheek. “Hm, you're right, you're practically burning.”

Your lips parted on instinct as he touched you and his eyes zeroed in on them. His hands felt soft and warm against your skin and your stomach felt like it didn't just have butterflies in it but a whole damn zoo.

“You know… I have spent two years holding myself back. Two years of wanting to touch you but holding back because we're supposed to be friends,” his voice was rough, the tension between you growing. “I knew when Yeosang introduced us that I wanted you. But you were dating that douchebag Minho back then. So I held back. I wanted to make my move when you finally broke up with that asshole but by then we had become best friends and, fuck, I didn't want to ruin anything,” he took a stuttering breath, his eyes searching yours for a reaction.

“Minho wasn't that bad,” you whispered, not able to form a proper response. Jongho let out a scoff.

“He spent most of his time putting you down. Never mind his love for stupid vests,” he grumbled. “But that's not the fucking point and you know it.”

“I-” you tried to reply but he wasn't finished yet. 

“The point is that you and I are more than just friends. We've been dancing around each other for a while now. I know how you tried to avoid giving me physical affection because you know I'm not the biggest fan of it. But you know what? I want to touch you. I want you to touch me. I have never felt the need to do that with anyone. Just you,” Jongho rasped out, his thumb stroking over your cheek. His eyes dropped to your lips again and a strangled groan escaped him.

“Fuck it… we can talk later,” he whispered and in a second his lips were on yours, soft and determined. Your arms went around his shoulders as you kissed him back with the same unbridled passion. His hand went from your cheek to your hair, gently gripping it to tilt your head back. His mouth swallowed all the little sounds that escaped you, his body pressing into yours. One of your hands tangled in his hair as his tongue ran across your lower lip, begging for entrance. Your mouth opened with a soft gasp and he immediately slipped his tongue into your mouth. As soon as your tongues met his hips bucked into yours and a strangled moans slipped out of you. Jongho pulled away with a gasp.

“Fuck, baby. We can stop right here if you want to. I want you in any way you're willing to give,” he whispered against your lips, his hand tightening in your hair.

“No, don't wanna stop. Want this, want you,” you whined, looking up at him with pleading eyes. This is what you had been fantasizing about for weeks. And reality was far better than any fantasy you had. His body was muscled and warm on top of you. 

With a low groan he reached down to the hem of your shirt and pulled it off of your body, revealing your sports bra that zips up at the front. You truly weren't prepared for this but you didn't care. 

“God, you're so beautiful,” he moaned as his hand slid over your stomach up to your ribs, leaving a trail of goosebumps. Your fingers pulled at the front of his shirt and he chuckled at your impatience. He reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt off. Your mouth went dry at the sight. You had known Jongho was buff but you weren't prepared for what was hiding under his shirt. He had a broad chest matching his broad shoulders but he wasn't overly ripped. His abs were defined but accompanied by a slight chub that you really wanted to sink your teeth into. 

He leaned back down and began to nibble at the skin of your neck, the soft sighs coming out of your mouth encouraging him to start sucking on your pulse point. One of your hands found its way to the waistband of his sweatpants, your fingers sliding underneath and your nails scratching along his skin. He pulled back from your neck and sat up while his hands played with the zipper of your sports bra.

“Can I, baby?” he questioned, his voice low with barely constrained need. You nodded, licking your lips in anticipation. He smiled and started pulling down your zipper. He let out a loan groan as your breasts spilled out of your sports bra, his hands immediately cupping them, his thumbs flicking over your hard nipples. Your chest arched up into his touch as your head fell back. His head dipped down and he took one of your nipples into his mouth, his teeth softly closing around it. He chuckled at the gasp you let out. 

“This couch is way too cramped,” he grunted and suddenly grabbed the back of your thighs. He hoisted you up into his arms and walked to your bedroom. He sat down on the edge of your bed and kept you in his lap. As soon as he sat down, you could feel his erection through his sweatpants. Your hips moved instinctively against the sizable bulge and his hands immediately grabbed your hips. 

“Shit, baby…” he moaned and his head tipped back. You took advantage and started planting soft kisses along the side of his neck up to his ear. Your teeth closed around his earlobe and you lightly tugged at it before swiping your tongue over it. You pulled back but he grabbed your nape and pulled you into another kiss. Your hips kept grinding down against him while his tongue swirled around yours. One of his hands dropped to your thigh, his fingers digging into your skin and you hoped you would have bruises to remind you of this tomorrow. 

His hand tightened around your nape and in a sudden movement, he had flipped you over so your back was on the mattress with him hovering above you. He pecked your lips and stood straight. You propped yourself up on your elbows and watched as he dropped his sweatpants. Your mouth fell open. You were right earlier, he wasn't wearing boxers. Drool pooled in your mouth at the sight of his thick cock. Before you could reach out and wrap your hand around it to feel the weight of it, Jongho grabbed your ankles and dragged you towards him, making you fall back against the bed. He chuckled at your shocked expression and hooked his fingers into your shorts to pull them down. He tossed them aside and your panties were quick to follow. 

He dropped to his knees in front of your bed and threw both of your legs over his shoulders. You didn't have time to prepare before you felt his tongue slide over your wet folds. Your fingers found their way to his hair as you moaned out his name. You looked down and found his dark eyes looking up at you from between your legs while his mouth closed around your clit, sucking hard. Your back flew off the mattress at the sensation and one of his hands pushed you back down with a firm push on your stomach. 

Two of his fingers circled your entrance before pushing inside. You were so wet that you barely felt the stretch. He moved his fingers, trying different angles and watching your face closely. When you let out a choked whimper he knew he had found your g-spot and began to target it with measured strokes of his fingers. 

“Jongho, please,” you whined, tugging at his hair. He released your clit with a pop.

“Please what, baby?” he smirked up at you, his fingers never ceasing their movement. 

“I want you,” you pleaded him.

“You have me, baby. You need to be more specific,” he flicked his tongue over your clit and grinned at your twitch. 

“I- I want you inside me, Jongho,” you gasped out.

“I already have my fingers inside you,” he couldn't help but tease you more. He wanted you to say what you want, needed to hear that you wanted this as much as he did.

“Your- Your cock.. I want you to fuck me, please,” you moaned as his fingers curled inside you. 

“There we go. That wasn't so hard, was it?” he pressed one last kiss to your clit and pulled his fingers from your cunt, sucking them clean. He stood up and crawled over you, his lips found yours again and you couldn't help but moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue. Jongho pulled back and softly brushed a strand of your hair from your forehead. 

“Do you have a condom? I didn't come here planning this, I swear,” he breathed against your lips. You swallowed and nodded.

“Nightstand,” you pointed to the drawer in your nightstand. He reached over and pulled a condom from it. Jongho stood between your legs and ripped the foil with his teeth. He was about to roll the condom onto his cock but you stopped him.

“Let me,” you bit your lip and took the condom from him. Sitting up, you couldn't help but lean forward and swipe your tongue over the tip of his cock, tasting the precum that had collected. You looked up at him and enjoyed the low groan that came from him. Your own need became too much and you quickly rolled the condom onto his hard dick. He pushed you back by your shoulders and followed you. Your legs wrapped themselves around his waist as he grabbed his length and teased your entrance with the tip of his cock. You braced your hands on his biceps and looked up at him with begging eyes. 

“In case it wasn't clear, I want to date you,” he said and with that he started to push his cock into you. Your head fell back and you couldn't help but moan. His cock was girthier than anything you've had before but you welcomed the stretch. As soon as he was finally all the way inside you, you started to wriggle your hips to get him to move. He hissed and gripped your hip with one hand to keep you still.

“Fuck, baby. Give me a moment,” he grunted. His eyebrows pulled together and you watched as he bit his lip. The sight of him on top of you, his sweaty hair pushed back to reveal his forehead and the feel of him hot and hard inside you is all you've wanted for the past weeks and if you're completely honest with yourself, you had wanted this for two years. He looked down at you with a shuddering breath. His hand tightened on your hip, his other hand finding yours and he intertwined his fingers with yours. He licked along your neck and rolled his hips back before driving them forward in a slow but forceful thrust. You let out a soft moan and your fingers tightened around his. You pulled him closer with your legs around his waist. He bit your shoulder and started to pick up the pace. You felt his cock drag along your walls and your nails dragged down his back. 

“Oh fuck, you feel so good. Sound so pretty when you moan for me,” he whispered into your ear and the feel of his breath against your ear had you clenching around him. The muscles of his torso tensed on top of you and you felt the muscles on his back under your fingers as he moved his body against yours. Every grunt, every whisper had you whimpering against his skin and you could feel the tell-tale tightening in your lower stomach.

“Jongho…” you murmured against his shoulder, your lips kissing his skin.

“Yes, baby?” he asked, his hips keeping a steady pace. You couldn't answer, only able to moan as you felt his cock drag over your g-spot. He seemed to understand what you wanted anyway and dipped one of his hands between your bodies, his pointer finger finding your clit and started to apply pressure. 

Oh fuck,” you gasped out and he looked at your face, not wanting to miss a single second of you falling apart at his touch. Your legs started to shake and your hips bucked upwards as you tried to hold on a bit longer. But he was having none of it. He kept the rhythm of his hips and the pressure on your clit and after a few more thrusts your jaw went slack. You looked into his eyes, you own glazing over as you reached your climax. Jongho followed with his own climax after a few more thrusts, spilling into the condom before collapsing onto your chest but making sure not to crush you with his weight. He softly kissed your cheekas you both tried to slow your breathing.

“Are you good?” he asked, his eyes finding yours.

“More than good,” you reassured him, your voice a bit hoarse. He chuckled and rolled you over so you're straddling him.

“Good cause that was just the start. i have two years to make up for,” he grinned up at you and you let out a giggle.

Over the next two weeks, you and Jongho had spent most of your time going on dates or in bed. Hana had immediately figured it out, mainly because of the hickey on your neck and the way Jongho’s eyes had followed you whenever you were in a group setting. San had found out when he saw you two kissing in the kitchen during one of your movie nights. The only one who hadn't seemed to catch on was Yeosang. And you and Jongho weren't subtle. You felt no need to hide your relationship after you both had the talk after about three rounds, one of which was in the shower. Jongho's muscles with water dripping over them? How was a girl supposed to resist?

It wasn't until week three that Yeosang seemed to realise what was happening. You three were in Jongho's apartment for a game night when Jongho had leaned over and pecked your lips after you had successfully killed off Yeosang's character in Mortal Combat.

“What are you doing?” Yeosang asked incredulously.

“Kicking your ass,” you retorted.

“No, I mean why was he kissing you? You guys can't do that,” he seemed genuinely shocked.

“And why not?” Jongho questioned.

“Well, that's incest!” Yeosang exclaimed. You let out a laugh.

“We're not siblings, what do you mean?” you laughed and leaned back against Jongho.

“Well, we're basically family,” he mumbled.

“Yeo, me and her have been dating for three weeks now,” Jongho declared and threw some popcorn into his mouth. Yeosang's mouth gaped open.

“And I'm the last to find out?” he exclaimed. You nudged his shoulder with your elbow.

“Dude, we didn't hide it. You can just be oblivious. But I can assure you, it's definitely not incest,” you said, still chuckling at his confused expression. Jongho smiled and leaned down to kiss you again. You saw Yeosang cringe.

“I'm gonna have to get used to that. It's like watching your brother and sister kiss,” he mumbled but you could tell he wasn't really mad or put out. You chuckled and reached over to ruffle his hair.

[fireinmoonshot]

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR MARVEL'S THUNDERBOLTS*.

Pairing: Robert 'Bob' Reynolds x Reader Summary: When your mental health gets bad, Bob is always there for you. Warnings: References to bad mental health – reader is struggling with their mental health and there are mentions of Bob and the other Thunderbolts mental health as well. Word Count: 696 A/N: Thank you so much for the love on all my Bob fics. They're actually some of my most popular fics on this blog and I'm so grateful. Anyway, a small drabble tonight – haven't been feeling my best mentally the last few days (today has been the worst) and randomly wrote this because I know Bob would be great in this scenario. It's not much, but it helped me a little to write it so I hope it might help others that need it. 💗

Bob is always there when you need him.

It’s one of the things you love most about him – the fact that when you gently knock on his door, you know he’s going to call out for you to come in. He always knows it’s you without even having to see you. The fact that he’s always sitting on his bean bag, book in hand and often, a thickshake of some kind sitting on the table beside him. The fact that no matter what, he’ll always stop looking at his book to look at you.

The second he sees the look on your face, he closes the book without even putting a bookmark in or a dog-ear on the page. He raises his arm and beckons you over with a hand, feeling relieved when you close the door behind you and walk towards him.

“Sit with me,” he says, reaching out and taking your hand as soon as you’re close enough.

He shuffles back a little on the bean bag so that you can sit with him. You lean your back against his chest, your body between his legs. He lets go of your hand to rest his arms over your shoulders, and then takes your hands in his again.

Carefully, he starts to play with your fingers and for a few moments, the two of you sit there simply watching your hands moving together. Eventually, he entwines your fingers together and gives your hands a gentle squeeze.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks, voice soft in your ear.

You shake your head. You know it’s the wrong thing to do because talking about it will make you feel better. Ever since you’d become a member of the New Avengers, you’d accepted that fact. Yelena always reminded you when you talked about your mental health that pushing your feelings down wasn’t the way to handle them. But sometimes, it wasn’t that easy. Getting the actual words out, having them make sense, was sometimes too much effort.

Right now, all you wanted was to be in the company of your favourite person, feel his hands on yours, his skin against your skin, and to let your mind be quiet for a moment. Even if it really only was a moment. Even if the thoughts and the feelings were going to overwhelm you again eventually. But until you had a few moments of quiet, you were never going to be able to organise your thoughts enough to say anything more substantial than ‘something feels wrong with my head’. 

Bob would understand that – all of your team would. But over the months since you’d moved into the Watch Tower, your relationship with Bob had grown stronger than your relationship with everyone else except Yelena. 

Being with Bob was like being in the calmest place in the world, which was kind of ironic considering the chaos that Bob had accidentally caused in New York that had ended up in you even being here in the first place. He still didn’t remember any of that, but he’d heard enough from all of the team to know what had happened. Every day he’s grateful that all of you had stuck with him through that. Now, to him, you’re like the calm in the storm of his mind.

“You sure?” Bob asks, not trying to pressure you but just offering again. 

“I’m sure,” you confirm. “I just need you. Until I can get my head sorted.”

Bob nods and gives your hands another squeeze. “There’s no rush.”

You smile a little and lean further back into his chest. He leans down to rest his chin on the top of your head, careful not to apply too much pressure and make you uncomfortable. He’ll sit here with you all day, all night, however long it takes you to be ready to talk to him. Just like he knows you would sit with him until he’s ready – just like you have sat with him in the past.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear. “We can stay here till whenever you’re ready. For as long as you need, love.”

[ducktoo]

Again

IVE’s Jang Wonyoung x M!Reader

Note: I have resorted to the sacred prompt list by Anon again….this helped me so much frrr. Hope you will post your first ever fic here so I can tagged you!!

This concludes the unofficial (or official ig) IZ*ONE marathon. @hyeyulenjoyer hope this was a fun ride for you. And thank you everyone for enjoying these fics as well! Also appreciate IVE for paying respect to the recent tragedy. All the dumb haters who find ways to hate them again....just touch grass pls.

(this was the perfect picture for this fic lol)

The tickets sit on your desk, undisturbed, their glossy surface catching the dim glow of your bedside lamp. You don’t even need to read the text printed on them anymore. The details are already burned into your brain.

A fan sign.

It was supposed to be special. The kind of thing you looked forward to for weeks, marked on your calendar with a little star. You were supposed to show up, tease her about messing up choreography, make her laugh in the middle of a serious performance, see that look in her eyes that was just for you.

Now, the tickets feel like a joke.

Your phone is face-down beside them, dark screen hiding the messages you haven't opened yet—the well-meaning texts from friends, the casual work notifications. All messages except from her.

Wonyoung.

You close your eyes, but it doesn't help. The memory of your last call with her is still fresh, the words playing over and over like a song stuck on repeat.

"I just don’t have time for this anymore."

"For us, you mean?"

"Mhm."

The way she said it—calm, measured, like it was just another item to tick off on her to-do list—had made something inside you crack. There had been no anger in her voice. No hesitation.

That…hurt more than anything.

You had wanted to say something, anything to make her stop. To remind her of the nights spent whispering over the phone until she fell asleep, of the rare moments when she let herself be vulnerable with you, of the way she would light up the second she saw you waiting for her backstage to take her to eat a whole cow together.

But you couldn't mutter a voice.

You had just sat there, phone pressed to your ear, fingers gripping the fabric of your hoodie so tightly it threatened to tear.

And then, just like that, she was gone.

It was three days ago.

Three days of checking your phone too often. Three days of convincing yourself you were fine. Three days of staring at these damn tickets on the desk and trying to figure out why you hadn’t just thrown them away. You should sell them. Give them to someone who’d actually enjoy them.

But something stops you.

Maybe it’s pride. Maybe it’s stubbornness. Maybe it’s the stupid, lingering part of you that refuses to admit that she’s really gone. Whatever the reason, you find yourself gripping them tighter instead of throwing them away.

You decided that you will go.

Not for her. Not to see her.

Just so you don’t have to sit in this room, drowning in thoughts of what used to be.

That’s what you tell yourself, anyway.

-

The venue is packed.

Fans shuffle forward in line, their chatter buzzing in the air like static. Excited whispers, rustling light sticks, the occasional squeal when a favourite member’s name is mentioned.

Your fingers tighten around the album in your hands. (Ironically you still hold onto her album)

This is normal for them. For the fans around you, this is just another fan sign. A chance to meet their idols, to share fleeting moments, to walk away with a signature and a memory they’ll cherish for years.

You should feel the same. Instead, you’re just… tired. Who could blame you, you’re about to come face-to-face with your ex-girlfriend.

And she has no idea you’re here.

Your grip on the album tightens as the line inches forward. The first few members greet you with polite smiles, their voices light and bubbly. You do your best to respond normally, but your mind is elsewhere, trapped in the inevitable moment that keeps creeping closer and closer.

You don’t need to look up to know she’s at the end of the table. You can feel her presence.

And then, suddenly, there’s no more time left.

Your album slides across the table. Long, slender fingers stop it in place.

There’s a small pause—so brief that no one else seems to notice—but you do. You feel it in the slight delay before she looks up, in the way her fingers tighten just a fraction around the album’s edge.

And then her eyes meet yours.

She looks the same. Flawless, as always. Every strand of hair perfectly in place, makeup soft and ethereal under the bright overhead lights. And those sparkly eyes that you often got lost in.

But…she’s not yours anymore. Not at all.

There was a flicker of something—recognition, surprise, something deeper—crosses her face. But it’s gone in an instant, replaced by a carefully neutral expression.

Her lips part slightly, but no words come out at first. Then…

“Hey.”

It’s awkward. Too awkward. You can feel the tension hanging between you, thick and suffocating.

You swallow, trying to ignore the way your chest tightens. “Hey.”

For a split second, she looks like she wants to say something else. Like she wants to break the script, ignore the rehearsed greetings and practiced smiles.

But then—

She doesn’t.

Instead, she picks up her pen, the mask slipping back into place. Her expression evens out, and in a voice so perfectly professional it almost stings, she says,

“Thanks for coming.”

Just like she would to any other fan. That made your stomach twists.

You should’ve known. Of course, she wouldn't acknowledge it. Not here. Not in front of all these people.

Still, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

You swallow the lump in your throat. “Yeah. Would’ve been a waste of money if I didn’t.”

Something flickers across her face, but it’s gone before you can catch it. She presses her lips together, nodding slightly. “Right. Can’t have that.”

She signs her name, her handwriting as neat and practiced as always. But there’s a hesitance in the way she moves, a slight delay before she lifts the pen from the page.

When she finally pushes the album back toward you, her fingers linger just a second longer than necessary.

Then, in a voice so quiet that only you can hear…

“Take care, okay?”

She’s looking at you now. Really looking at you.

And for a moment, just one fleeting moment, she’s not the Jang Wonyoung, the IT girl, the global superstar.

She’s just…Wonyoung.

The girl who used to call you late at night just to hear your voice.

The girl who used to lace her fingers through yours under the table when no one was looking.

The girl who told you she didn’t have time for you anymore.

You stare at her.

The words stick to your throat. You genuinely don’t trust yourself to say anything.

So you just…don’t.

You just take the album, stand up, and walk away. And even as you disappear into the crowd, you can still feel her eyes on you.

-

You’ve been doing fine.

Or at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.

It’s been a few days since the fan sign, and you’ve buried yourself in anything that keeps your mind occupied—work, games, mindless scrolling through your phone. Anything to keep yourself from replaying the look on Wonyoung’s face at the fansign. From remembering the way she hesitated before handing your album back. From thinking about the way her gaze kept flickering toward you as you walk away, as if she was looking for something.

Or someone.

But that’s not your problem anymore. You told yourself that the moment you left the venue.

Which is why, when your phone starts ringing at an ungodly hour, you almost don’t check the caller ID. Almost.

The second you see her name flashing on the screen, your stomach twists.

Jang Wonyoung.

The ringing continues, each second stretching unbearably. You should let it go. Turn off your phone. Pretend you never saw it.

But you don’t. Because deep down, you know you still want to hear her voice. So you answer.

“...Hello?”

There’s silence on the other end for a moment, followed by a soft giggle—breathy and drawn out, the kind that used to slip past her lips whenever she was feeling particularly affectionate.

"Dummmyy!" she hums, stretching your nickname like it’s some sweet, familiar melody.

“Wonyo. Are you drunk?” You sigh, ignoring the way your nickname for her easily rolled out of your tongue.

She giggles again, the sound loose and unguarded. "Mmm… maybe."

"Goddamn it." You rub your temples. "Where are you?"

A rustling noise filters through the receiver, followed by the distant hum of traffic. "Somewhere," she mumbles. "Some bar, I think. The girls took me out."

Figures.

You shift in bed, propping yourself up against the headboard. “It’s late.”

“I know,” she says, not sounding the least bit apologetic. “But I wanted to call you.”

You close your eyes, exhaling through your nose. “Why?”

She doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, there’s a soft exhale, the kind she lets out when she’s gathering her thoughts. Then, quieter…

“Because I miss you.”

Your fingers tighten around the phone.

"Don’t do that," you say quietly.

"Do what?"

"Say things you don’t mean."

Another pause. When she speaks again, her voice is steadier. "But I do mean it. I do miss you."

You swallow, trying to keep your voice steady. "Well, that’s not my problem anymore, is it?"

She goes quiet.

For a moment, all you hear is the faint sound of music in the background, the distant chatter of people. She’s probably in the back of some high-end bar or a private lounge that someone of her status often went. You can picture it too easily—her long hair falling over her shoulders, her lips painted red, the glow of the city lights reflecting in her eyes.

Your heart beat rapidly at the image.

"You came to the fansign," she says suddenly, cutting into your thoughts.

You rub at your temple. "Mhm."

"Why?"

"You already know why."

"Say it anyway."

You sigh. "Because I had the tickets. It would’ve been a waste."

She lets out a humourless laugh. "Right. Can’t have that."

Something about the way she repeats your words from that day makes your stomach twist.

There’s another long pause. Then, almost hesitantly.

"Did you feel anything?"

Your eyes widened. "Feel what?"

"When you saw me again." Her voice is quieter now. "Did you feel anything?"

Your jaw clenches. You want to lie. Want to say no, not at all. That it didn’t matter. That she doesn’t matter. But you can’t.

Because the truth is, you felt everything.

The way your heart clenched when she looked at you. The way your stomach twisted when her fingers hesitated over your name. The way your mind screamed at you to move on, to stop letting her affect you, to stop caring.

But you don’t tell her any of that.

Instead, you settle for, "Who cares anyway."

"Why not?"

"Because we’re done, Jang Wonyoung."

She sucks in a sharp breath, and for a second, you wonder if she’s about to cry.

"You-" She stops, swallows. When she speaks again, her voice is unsteady. "You didn’t even try to fight for me."

Your grip tightens around the phone, knuckles turning white. "You were the one who ended things. On the phone, may I remind you."

"I know," she whispers. "And I thought it was the right choice. But now I just—" She breaks off, voice cracking slightly. "I don’t know anymore."

You shut your eyes.

It would be so easy to give in. To tell her that you don’t know either, that you still think about her, that you still wonder if maybe—just maybe—this wasn’t supposed to end like this.

But what’s the point?

She made her choice.

And you’re tired of being the one left picking up the pieces.

"You’re drunk, Jang Wonyoung," you say, voice carefully even. "Go home and go to sleep."

"Wait—"

"Goodnight."

And then, before she can say another word, you hang up.

The silence that follows is deafening.

And yet, for the first time in days, you finally let yourself breathe.

-

Or at least, it should be.

You did the right thing, you tell yourself—cut it off before it could spiral any further. Before you let yourself believe, even for a second, that anything has changed.

But still, the weight in your chest lingers.

The room feels too quiet now, the kind of silence that presses in from all sides, making it impossible to ignore the thoughts creeping into your head. You lie back down, throwing an arm over your eyes, willing yourself to sleep.

You don’t know how much time passes before you hear it.

A knock.

You freeze.

At first, you think you’re imagining it. Sleep-deprived, emotionally drained, and still reeling from that damn phone call, your brain must be conjuring things that aren’t real. But then, the knocking got more insistent. Erratic, yet insistent.

Your brows furrow. You sit up, straining your ears.

"Who the hell…?"

It’s almost 3 AM. No one in their right mind would be visiting you at this hour. Then again, you just got a call from a drunk girl not in their right mind.

Knock, knock, knock.

It’s louder this time, clumsy and uncoordinated, like whoever’s on the other side can barely keep their balance. A sinking feeling settles in your stomach.

You begrudingly throw off your blankets and push yourself up, padding toward the door. Your hand hovers over the handle for a second before you sigh and pull it open.

And there she is.

Wonyoung.

She’s standing there in the dim, flickering hallway light, wrapped in a thin coat that does nothing to protect her from the cold. Her long hair is slightly tousled, the glossy perfection from the concert gone, strands falling loosely over her shoulders. She sways just the slightest, a delicate wobble on unsteady feet. Her lips are slightly parted, eyes glassy—not just from the alcohol but from something else. Something unreadable.

You blink.

She blinks back, like she’s just now processing that you’re standing in front of her.

Then, with absolutely no warning, she wobbles forward, collapsing against your chest.

You barely manage to catch her. “Jesus—Wonyo.” You gently hold her arms, steadying her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

"Surprise," she breathes, half-laughing, half-sniffling.

You let out a sharp breath. “Surprise? You’re seriously—” You stop yourself, jaw clenching. “How did you even get here?”

"I took a taxi," she announces, like that explains anything. Like that justifies her showing up at your door past midnight after breaking up with you.

You stare at her. “Alone?”

“Mmhmm.”

Your stomach twists. “Wonyoung, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

She just hums, leaning more of her weight onto you. Her forehead presses against your shoulder, and you can feel the slight tremble in her body.

You sigh, tightening your grip. “You’re freezing.”

“I was walking.”

“Walking where?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead, she tilts her head back to look at you properly. Her lips part slightly, like she’s about to say something—something serious, something she’s probably been holding in for too long. But then, she hiccups.

You close your eyes, exhaling sharply through your nose. “You’re unbelievable.”

She smiles lazily, like she didn’t just show up at your door dead drunk in the middle of the night after breaking up with you.

"You hung up on me," she murmurs.

You pull back slightly, just enough to see her properly. “Yeah. I did.”

"That was mean," she says, pouting. "I was talking."

"You were drunk."

"Still talking."

You shake your head, adjusting your grip on her. “Come on. You need water. And sleep.”

She hums, letting you guide her inside. “Only if you let me stay.”

You pause.

For a brief second, something in her voice sounds painfully sober.

But then she giggles again, burying her face in your chest, and you decide that you’ll deal with that in the morning.

For now, you just hold her close.

You sigh, pressing your lips into a thin line as you shift your grip on her. She’s barely standing at this point, practically melting into you like she has no bones in her body.

"Alright, come on," you mutter, wrapping an arm around her waist and leading her inside.

She stumbles slightly, her fingers gripping at your shirt as she giggles under her breath. "You smell nice," she mumbles.

You ignore that.

You close the door behind you with your foot, guiding her toward the couch. She flops onto it with zero resistance, her coat slipping off her shoulders. The moment she’s down, she tilts her head back, blinking up at you like she’s expecting something.

She doesn’t hesitate. Stumble inside like she belongs here.

And maybe that’s the problem. She did belong here.

And now? Now you don’t know.

Her eyes lazily drift across the apartment, lingering on the things she still remembers—the half-empty cup of coffee on your desk, the hoodie she used to steal draped over the chair, the faint indent in the couch where she used to curl up next to you.

Then she noticed your desk, the same desk where the fansign ticket sat just days ago. The same one she saw in your hands at the fansign days ago.

"You really came," she murmurs, not looking at you. "I didn’t think you actually would."

You shrug. "Like I said. Would’ve been a waste."

She flinches. Just the tiniest bit. But you catch it.

She exhales slowly, arms wrapping around herself. "It was weird."

"What was?"

"Seeing you there. But not... There, you know?" She fully looks at you now, and there's something raw in her expression. Something you’re not sure you’re ready to face. "You didn’t smile. You didn’t tease me like you usually do. You barely even looked at me."

"What did you expect?" you ask quietly. "You dumped me, Wonyoung. You can’t just expect me to act like nothing happened."

She presses her lips together, fingers gripping the hem of her sleeve. "I know."

You wait. Give her the space to say what she came here to say.

But she doesn’t. Not right away.

She defeatedly sighed, tucking her knees under her chin, looking smaller than she ever has before. She stares at her hands for a long moment before mumbling, "I don’t know why I came here."

You scoff. "Really? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you drunk-called your ex, then showed up at his apartment in the middle of the night without a plan."

She frowns. "I do have a plan."

You raise an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

She huffs. "Step one: get inside. Step two..." She falters, looking away. "...I didn’t think that far."

You shake your head. "Unbelievable."

Silence stretches between you, heavy and unspoken.

Then, barely above a whisper, "Do you hate me?"

You freeze.

Your first instinct is to say no. Because of course you don’t hate her. You never could.

But that’s not the right answer, is it?

So instead, you tell the truth.

"I don’t know," you admit. "I want to. But I can't."

She looks up at you then, eyes searching. Hopeful and afraid all at once. "I messed up, didn’t I?"

You let out a hollow laugh. "Yea. Big time."

She swallows. Lowers her gaze again. "I thought breaking up would make things easier. For you…for both of us."

"Did it?"

She shakes her head. "No."

You run a hand through your hair, exhaling. "Then why did you do it?"

"I was scared," she says, and her voice is so small, so unlike the confident idol the world knows, that it almost hurts to hear. "I thought I was being selfish, holding onto you when I barely had time to see you. I thought you deserved more than stolen moments and rushed phone calls."

Your jaw clenches. "You didn’t even ask me what I wanted."

"I know," she whispers. "I thought I was making the right choice."

You sit down across from her, legs spread, elbows on your knees. "And now?"

She meets your gaze, vulnerability laid bare. "Now... I just miss you."

Your heart leaped a mile. This was the Wonyoung you always see. Not the glamorous and model-esque Jang Wonyoung everyone always see on TV. Not the well-spoken and powerful public figure everyone knows. Just…a gentle yet bubbly girl who snuggled up next to you on the couch at the end of the day.

But your brain should tell her to leave. To sleep it off, to sober up and think about this when her mind is clearer.

Then she reaches out—just the slightest, her fingers brushing against yours on the couch. And you don’t pull away.

"You’re drunk," you remind her, though your voice lacks conviction.

She smiles faintly. "Thanks…Mr. Obvious."

Silence. Then, tentatively, "Can I sleep here tonight?"

Another hesitation.

But just like before, you already know your answer.

You sigh. Your hand intertwined with hers.

"Go get a blanket. Wonyo."

She doesn’t move right away. Just watches you, like she’s memorizing you all over again.

Then, with a small, almost relieved nod, she gets up and stumbled into your bedroom as she dragged you along—the same bedroom she used to slip into after long schedules, the same one she used to call hers.

And just like that, the distance you tried so hard to create crumbles.

Again.

[bytemee]

EVERYTHING I WANT — yu jimin.

"i had finally figured out, you were just around the corner."

synopsis. you’re just the wedding planner for your brother’s wedding, trying to keep it all together. but karina, his fiancée, keeps slipping under your skin. she’s perfect—everything you’ve ever wanted—but she’s marrying your brother.

pairing. brothers!fiance!karina x wedding!planner!fem!reader

warning(s). angst w a mixture of fluff, love triangle, cheating (im sorry), angst with a happy ending.

words. 5.7k

authors note. i remember watching a gay movie like this.

navigation. main masterlist.

karina has a way of capturing the attention of everyone in a room, and her presence alone is enough to make the world pause. she walks in, all bright eyes and effortless grace, and somehow the entire room shifts to accommodate her. it’s almost like she belongs in a space much grander than this, but then, that’s karina—always radiant, always a little untouchable.

you’ve noticed it countless times before—it's part of the reason why your parents are so calm with the idea of your brother marrying her only months after they've met. karina—your brother’s fiancée, the one they think is perfect in every way. karina—the one who is everything they always hoped for in a partner for him. karina—the one who practically begged you to plan her wedding.

you have to admit, they make a beautiful couple. the way karina and your brother stand in the kitchen, laughing over something she said while she chops vegetables, her hands moving easily, like she’s done this a hundred times. your brother’s smiling at her like she’s the only person in the world. it’s all so natural, so effortless. you can’t deny that they love each other—it’s one of those things you just know. like the feeling of the ground beneath your feet or the wind against your skin. it’s just a fact.

it was the first time in a while you've been to their house, but your brother practically forced you into staying at his while you planned the wedding. they don't seem to mind, which is probably good considering you've taken over the living room as a workspace, with papers and decorations and fabric samples spread out across the coffee table and the couch.

but regardless, the two haven't decided on a venue yet, so the planning process is still in full swing. you had a list of about five venues you thought were promising, and you were hoping they'd settle on one soon so you could stop having to lug around your binder everywhere.

karina finishes up her task and sets the knife down, washing her hands off before she turns to you.

she walks over with that signature smile of hers, the one that makes everything seem like it’s shining just a little brighter. “hey, can we talk about the venue options for a sec?” she asks, her voice smooth like velvet, like it always is.

you glance up from the pile of papers in front of you, your gaze meeting hers for a second too long. the way she’s standing there, close enough to reach out and touch, makes it hard to focus. you blink, trying to get your head back in the game. “uh, yeah, sure. what’s on your mind?”

she leans against the back of the couch, her arms crossing lightly over her chest. “i know we’ve got some good options, but…” she hesitates for a moment, as if carefully considering her next words. “i’ve always wanted a wedding on the beach. you know, like those dreamy ones you see in magazines?”

you freeze for a moment, your fingers lingering over the corner of your binder. the beach. you can’t help the pang that hits you when she says it, because it's something you've always imagined for your own wedding one day, not anyone else’s. it’s silly, of course—you shouldn't have gotten so attached to a fantasy. but you can't help it. you'd always imagined a wedding on the beach, with the sun setting over the waves and sand beneath your feet.

she tilts her head a little, as if trying to figure out what's wrong. when you don't say anything, she speaks again, her tone more gentle. "are you okay?"

you try to shake it off, but karina always seems to notice everything. it's a little bit impressive, really. "oh, i'm fine. just a little tired." you quickly speak again before she can question you further. “you know, your fiancé’s pretty set on that greenhouse. it’s a pretty big deal for him.”

she nods, a small frown tugging at her lips. “i know,” she says softly. “i just can’t help but dream of the beach.” she pauses, then her eyes soften, and she adds with a little more playfulness, "i’ll let you handle the tough decisions. you’re the expert here, after all.”

you hate to let her down, but the odds of convincing your brother to change his mind are low. the greenhouse was his idea, and it means a lot to him, since your father married your mom there years ago. he had talked about wanting to recreate that day, the way the light filtered in through the glass, the flowers all around. his eyes had sparkled as he spoke, like he could imagine the entire scene unfolding before him. you couldn’t bring yourself to say no, not when he had been so excited.

you give a small laugh. “i’m just the wedding planner. you’re the one who has to live with the choice.”

she grins at you before walking away.

but even though you tell yourself it won't be your fault if she doesn't get her dream wedding, the guilt doesn't go away. you just hope she won't hate you for not being able to deliver the perfect day she's been waiting for.

you watch as she heads back over to the kitchen, your gaze lingering on her a little longer than it should. her smile is bright as ever, the one you're not sure you've ever seen her without, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

you swallow, then return to your work.

the venue. you can't get distracted. you're good at your job. you can do this.

the next few days pass in a flurry of phone calls and emails, and you're barely keeping track of which venue you're supposed to be going to see next. you've visited a handful, but it seems like they've all had the same issue—they don't have the space for the kind of wedding karina's dreaming of.

the pressure is starting to wear on you. you’ve been juggling so many details, from flowers to photographers to caterers, but every venue just feels off in one way or another. some are too big, some too small. others don’t have the kind of beachy vibe karina’s been dreaming of, and you can tell she’s starting to get a little discouraged.

you can see the way her shoulders slump when another place doesn’t meet her expectations, the way she tries to mask her disappointment with that perfect smile of hers. it’s hard to watch. but you also know this is her dream, her wedding. she deserves to have everything she’s envisioned for years.

“i swear, if i see one more ballroom…” you mutter under your breath, flipping through another round of emails, trying to see if any of the new suggestions could work.

karina, seated across from you in the café, lets out a small laugh. “you’re telling me. but we’ve got to keep looking, right?”

you look up, meeting her gaze for the first time in a while. she looks exhausted, her makeup a little faded from a long day of venue tours, but her smile is as warm as ever. it makes your heart ache.

you swallow, then turn back to your phone. "yeah. yeah, we do." you take a sip of your drink, not even removing your eyes from the screen. "i've been hearing a lot of good things about this one place, though."

karina leans forward, her elbows resting on the table. "which one?"

but before you can reply, a giggle leaves her lips, and she points to the side of your nose. "oh my god, you've got whipped cream on your nose. let me…"

her hand reaches out, and then she's touching you, her thumb brushing over the tip of your nose, sending shivers down your spine. she pulls her hand back, a little whipped cream on her thumb.

she smiles. "got it."

you blink, and your brain short-circuits for a second. her touch was so fleeting, but the warmth lingers.

she doesn't notice, already turned back to your phone ready to see the venue you were muttering about.

you exhale. the venue. right. focus.

and then, it happens.

when you get back home, an hour later you hear it from the other room—a loud argument, your brother's voice booming, and karina's pleading for him to just listen. your eyes widen. you'd never heard her raise her voice like that before.

they’ve always been so perfect together, but now, the disagreement over the wedding venue seems to be pushing things too far. you can’t make out the exact words, but you catch a few—the beach, the greenhouse, and your name a couple of times. the door slams shortly after, and everything falls silent.

you glance at the door leading to the hallway, torn between going to see what’s going on and staying out of it. the last thing you want is to get caught in the middle of their argument, but part of you can't help but feel concerned. this isn’t like them—karina, always the picture of composure, and your brother, usually so patient. it doesn’t add up.

you hear footsteps and then a quiet knock at the door. "are you awake?"

you take a deep breath. "yeah, come in."

the door opens, and karina walks in, looking as stunning as ever. her face is still flushed from the argument, but her hair is swept to the side, the light catching on her earrings. even in a moment like this, she's effortlessly beautiful.

"hey," you say softly, motioning toward the couch. "are you okay?"

she sits down beside you, her body relaxing a little, like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. she nods, taking a deep breath before speaking. "i'm fine. we're fine."

you tilt your head, not fully believing her. you've been friends for years, after all. you can tell when she's holding something back. "are you sure? because i heard—"

"we're fine," she repeats, a little more firmly.

you nod, but you still feel unsure. it's clear they need some time to themselves, and you can't force her to tell you what's going on. “you know,” you say, shifting beside her, “if you need a break, we could do something completely different. a distraction. a moment just for you.”

she looks at you, eyes wide, clearly intrigued by the offer. “like what?”

a slow grin spreads across your face. “let’s get food for starters. and then…"

she cuts you off before you can finish. "as long as it involves wine, i'm in."

the smile is back, and your heart aches with it. you've missed seeing her smile, the way her eyes crinkle at the edges, her whole body seeming lighter. it's a feeling you never want to let go of.

without missing a beat, you get up and grab your keys. “perfect. let's go!"

you hold your hand out, and her fingers are warm in yours as you lead her out the door.

the two of you end up parked in front of a small, neon-lit burger joint tucked away on a quiet street. it’s one of those old-school places with a bright red roof and a hand-painted menu board by the drive-thru. it looks like it hasn't changed much since it was built decades ago, but that's exactly why you love it.

karina’s sitting cross-legged in the passenger seat, the bottle of wine you impulsively grabbed resting between you. you’d managed to snag a couple of burgers and fries to go, and now the two of you are tucked away in the car, sharing fries like you’re the only people in the world.

“this is so random,” she says, laughing softly. she’s still got a bit of a flush from earlier—whether from the wine or the argument, you’re not sure. but for now, you try not to think about it. you don't want to ruin the moment.

“that’s what makes it perfect,” you reply, passing her a fry. she takes it with a smile, your fingers brushing briefly. your heart trips over itself at the contact, and you reach for the bottle of wine to take another sip. it’s not the fanciest vintage, but it’s doing the job.

karina takes the bottle next, swiping at the neck before drinking straight from it. when she lowers it, her eyes are sparkling with something mischievous. “i always liked the idea of writing my vows on something unconventional,” she says suddenly, resting her head against the seat. “like in the movies. you know, scribbled on the back of a napkin or a burger wrapper. something spontaneous and real.”

you can’t help but laugh. “we’ve got burger wrappers right here.”

her eyes light up. “you’re kidding.”

“i’m not.”

she sets down the bottle and grabs the crumpled wrappers from the bag. “alright. let’s do it. right here, right now. our mock wedding.”

you raise an eyebrow. this was not how you thought the night was going to go, but then again, karina has always been full of surprises. she looks so excited at the idea; you can't bring yourself to say no. you're already in this deep, after all.

you grab a pen from the glove compartment, the tipsy energy between you growing contagious. you hand it over, and karina carefully smooths out one of the wrappers on her lap.

“alright,” she declares, biting back a grin. “i vow to always share my fries with you. even the crispy ones.”

you snort. “that’s a big promise.”

“and i vow to never judge you for eating burgers at midnight,” she adds, her grin widening.

“okay, my turn,” you say, leaning in. “i vow to always keep you stocked up on wine and burgers. and fries. all the good stuff. just in case of an emergency, of course. or for a spontaneous road trip. whichever comes first, i guess."

you're both giggling, and then her smile softens. she looks at you with those eyes, and for a moment, the rest of the world falls away. then her expression shifts. she takes a deep breath, fingers toying with the pen. “one more,” she says, her voice quieter now. “i vow to always be someone you can turn to, no matter what. even when things get messy or complicated.”

her eyes are still on yours, and you can't bring yourself to break the contact. you feel like the air has been knocked out of your lungs, and it's almost too much, too fast.

you finally manage to get the words out, your voice coming out a little strained. "i promise too."

karina smiles softly, reaching over to brush a strand of hair from your face. “let’s go somewhere,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.

“where?” you ask, still breathless.

she glances at the horizon, where the stars are just beginning to scatter across the night sky. “the beach.”

without another word, you put the car in drive and head toward the coast. the streets are quiet, the hum of the tires against the road the only sound as the town fades behind you. it feels like the rest of the world doesn’t exist—just you, karina, and the open road.

when you arrive, the beach is deserted, bathed in moonlight and the soft crashing of waves. you both kick off your shoes and walk toward the shoreline, the sand cool beneath your feet. karina stops just shy of the water, turning to face you.

“alright,” she says, holding out her hand. “let’s make this official.”

you laugh, taking her hand. “this is the most spontaneous fake wedding i’ve ever been a part of.”

her grin is wide, a little wild, like she’s already planning something outrageous. “just wait until our real wedding. then it’ll really be a show.”

the words hit you harder than expected—our real wedding. your mind flashes with an image: karina walking down the aisle, her dress swishing with every elegant step, her smile lighting up the whole room.

karina squeezes your hand gently, bringing you back to reality. "are you ready?"

you give her a tiny nod. “i’m ready.”

she turns to face you, her smile dimming just enough to make the moment feel serious. she takes a steadying breath before starting. “i vow to always share my fries with you—even the crispy ones.”

you grin. "i vow to not get jealous when you share your fries with someone else."

"that's a fair point." she pauses for a moment, glancing at the moon overhead. when she speaks again, her voice is softer. "i vow to not forget about all the nights we've stayed up talking, the sun just starting to rise, and how i could listen to your voice forever. and i vow to always be someone you can count on, no matter what."

her words make your heart ache. you swallow, trying to push down the feeling. "i vow to never give up, even when things get tough. even when everything's changing around us. and i vow to always be a place you can run to."

the words hang between you for a moment, and you feel like the whole world has stopped. everything feels surreal, like a dream, the kind you're afraid of waking up from. then she steps closer, so close you can feel the warmth radiating off her. her next words are softer, more serious, the playfulness stripped away. “do you vow to take me to the best burger joints at midnight?”

your voice is quieter now too. “i do.”

“do you vow to share your fries with me, even the crispy ones?”

“i do.”

she takes a small, shaky breath, her gaze locked on yours. “and do you vow to always be my friend? to stand by me, even when things get hard or messy?”

your throat tightens, but somehow you manage to speak. “i do.”

karina’s lips twitch, but she doesn’t smile fully. there's something vulnerable in her expression, like she's revealing a piece of herself she's never shown before. "do you promise to always remember tonight? how special this moment is?"

"i do."

she nods, her eyes shining. "good. because i do, too."

her gaze drops to your lips, and you realize what she's doing a second too late. before you can even process what's happening, her mouth is on yours, warm and soft and sweet. it's the kind of kiss you feel all the way down to your toes, the kind that makes the rest of the world disappear.

it's everything and nothing all at once.

then the moment passes, and she's pulling away, a little breathless. "i'm sorry. i just…"

you blink, trying to find the right words, but nothing comes out.

she swallows, then steps back, her cheeks flushed. "i'm sorry, i don't know what came over me. that was stupid. we should go."

she turns and walks off, her footsteps echoing through the darkness. you watch her leave, not daring to say anything, because if you speak, you'll break the spell. you'll wake up from this dream, and it'll all be gone, and this moment will be lost forever.

karina speedwalks to your car, her ears hot and her head spinning. what the hell did i just do? she opens the car door and climbs in, her body feeling weightless. the kiss was an impulse, a split-second decision, and now she's left wondering why the hell she thought it was a good idea.

you get in the car a moment later, your expression unreadable. you're silent for a few beats, then you clear your throat. "here take my jacket," you say, reaching over to drape it around her shoulders. "you look cold."

her chest tightens. of course, you're being kind and sweet. god, why did she have to ruin the moment?

she takes the jacket, but it does nothing to warm the chill that's seeped into her bones. she's so confused. one minute, she's getting engaged, and the next, she's kissing you, the one person who's never given her a reason to doubt. she feels like she's falling apart, piece by piece.

"let's get you home," you say quietly, starting the car.

karina nods, her eyes focused on the window. the rest of the ride is silent, neither of you daring to say a word.

a month passed since that night—the kiss that left you spinning and karina’s unexpected confession. you’d both fallen into a strange rhythm after that. conversations were shorter, more careful, as if the words had to be handled with gloves. and though things seemed okay on the surface, there was a distance that neither of you knew how to bridge.

she was still okay with the greenhouse. you’d finalized every last detail together, but it felt like neither of you were talking about what really mattered. instead, you both threw yourselves into the wedding planning like it was the only way to keep moving forward.

it was just after midnight when you found yourself back in the kitchen, pouring a glass of water. it had been a long day, and your mind was still racing. you stood there for a while, sipping slowly, mind wandering.

the front door creaked open. your brother stumbled in, his suit rumpled, tie hanging loosely around his neck. his eyes were bloodshot, and he reeked of whiskey and something faintly floral—perfume. you could guess what had happened.

“company celebration,” he muttered, not meeting your eyes. “big news… big, big news.”

you wrapped an arm around him and helped him upstairs. he leaned on you heavily, his usually confident demeanor dulled by the alcohol. when you sat him down on the edge of your bed, you noticed it—lipstick stains on the collar of his shirt, faint but undeniable.

your stomach twisted. you swallowed hard, forcing the lump in your throat down. it was none of your business. after all, she cheated as well...with you.

after he passed out, you quietly shut the door and went back downstairs. there was no sleep to be found, not when your thoughts were tangled in the events of what's happened over the past three months—the kiss, karina’s sudden agreement to the greenhouse wedding, the lipstick stains. it was too much.

you sat at the dining room table and pulled out your laptop. the wedding planning documents filled the screen, emails flooding in with suggestions and changes. you worked mindlessly, letting the repetition of it all keep your thoughts at bay.

the hours bled into one another, and before you knew it, pale sunlight was breaking through the windows. your eyes burned, your muscles ached, but you couldn’t stop.

footsteps behind you made you freeze.

karina.

her hair was a mess of loose waves, and she wore one of those oversized pajama shirts she loved. she had two mugs of coffee in hand, the familiar scent of hazelnut filling the room. without a word, she placed one in front of you.

“you’ve been up all night,” she said quietly.

“i had things to do,” you answered, not meeting her eyes.

karina sighed, taking in the dark circles under your eyes and the tension in your shoulders. “you’re burning yourself out.”

when you didn’t say anything, she walked around the table and stood behind you. her hands found your shoulders, fingers pressing gently into the knots there. she massaged in slow circles, her thumbs working out the tightness you hadn’t even noticed.

her voice was soft as she spoke, barely more than a whisper. "you should get some sleep. you can't keep doing this."

but you were too tired, too worn down, to respond. you couldn’t focus on anything other than the feeling of her hands on your shoulders, the warmth of her touch sinking into your skin.

she leaned down, her breath tickling your ear. "can we talk?"

"yeah," you managed.

karina let go and moved to the seat across from you. she looked like she was struggling with something, the same look from the night at the beach, when she had asked you to promise her to remember. her fingers tapped on the mug. you could tell she was stalling, trying to decide what to say, but eventually, the words came.

"i'm sorry."

you were sorry too. for so many things, but you didn't say them out loud. instead, you just nodded.

"i never meant for this to happen," she said. "but it's all getting a little too much."

you were exhausted. tired of everything—the wedding, the kiss, the feelings. tired of being the planner. tired of pretending everything was fine when it wasn't.

karina's gaze dropped to her hands, her voice small. "i didn't mean to make things weird between us. i just didn't know what to do."

"it's okay," you replied, because it was all you could say.

"it's not," she insisted. "you're my best friend. i don't want to lose that."

she was right. you were her best friend. she was supposed to be marrying your brother, not making out with you at midnight. the thought sent a shiver down your spine.

"we'll get through this. together." you tried to sound convincing, but it fell flat.

"will we?" her voice was barely audible. "you've been pushing me away for weeks. i can tell."

you shook your head, but it was pointless. the truth was staring you in the face, and it wasn't pretty.

karina sighed, her gaze lifting from the table to meet yours. "i'm sorry. i don't want things to be awkward between us. i don't want this to change things."

her eyes were filled with such honesty and vulnerability, it made your chest ache. you wanted to reach out, hold her, and reassure her that everything was going to be okay, but you couldn't. you couldn't bring yourself to lie.

you rubbed your hands over your face, trying to ease the tension building behind your eyes. the words were stuck, clawing at your throat, desperate to escape. but what could you say?everything was so tangled.

“i’m not pushing you away,” you finally managed, though it felt hollow. “i just… don’t know how to handle all this.”

she gave you a weak smile, but her eyes were still sad.

the silence stretched between you, growing heavier with each passing moment. neither of you knew what to say.

“i don’t want to hurt you,” she said suddenly, her voice trembling.

your stomach twisted, and you had to look away. “you’re not hurting me.”

it was a lie, and you both knew it. but what good would the truth do?

karina sighed, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. she looked exhausted, like she hadn’t slept in days. maybe she hadn’t. “i just want us to be okay. like before.”

“before,” you repeated, the word tasting bitter on your tongue. before everything. before the kiss. before you saw your brother stumble in last night, lipstick stains betrayed his lies.

she nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "yeah, before. like we promised in our vows."

you let out a breath. was she really bringing this up now? "our fake vows."

karina flinched, as if your words had physically struck her. she looked at you, her eyes pleading. "you promised to always remember that night. that's not nothing."

you closed your eyes, trying to block out the memory. it was a mistake. a stupid, impulsive decision. one you shouldn't have made. one you shouldn't be thinking about.

"look, it's fine. we'll just forget it ever happened. like we're supposed to."

"are we?"

you stared at her, your throat tightening. "yes. because that's what's best. for everyone."

she swallowed, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. "okay. if that's what you want."

"it is." the words were heavy, weighing on your chest, crushing the air from your lungs.

"alright. then i guess we should go back to planning."

she forced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. the conversation was over.

and that was it. you tried not to think about the kiss or the way her hand had felt in yours. but the memories lingered, refusing to let go.

the day of the wedding arrived. you stood at the back of the greenhouse, feeling out of place as the carefully chosen flowers, delicate white drapes, and twinkling fairy lights filled the space with a sense of serenity that felt foreign to you. everything about this moment was supposed to be beautiful, perfect, just as your brother had imagined. but you couldn’t shake the unease that knotted in your stomach.

the ceremony was supposed to feel like a celebration, a milestone in their lives. but it wasn’t. the sight of your brother, standing at the altar with the priest, waiting for karina, made something inside you tighten. he was smiling, his hands clasped together in anticipation. but the thought of him with her—knowing everything that had happened between the two of you—suddenly felt wrong. not to mention what he did himself.

and then, she appeared.

karina entered, her arm linked with your father’s, walking down the aisle with the grace of someone who belonged in a dream. the flowing ivory gown clung to her figure in a way that made your breath catch. the soft music playing in the background seemed to fade as you watched her approach, unable to tear your eyes away.

her gaze flickered to you for the briefest of moments. it was only a glance, but it held so much. the quiet acknowledgment that things weren’t the way they were supposed to be. that this wasn’t how it was supposed to feel.

you could barely breathe. you had promised to be strong, to be there for her. but seeing her like this, walking down the aisle toward your brother, was impossible. all the promises you had made, all the words you had told her in the days leading up to this, suddenly felt so hollow. she wasn’t yours. she never had been, and yet, everything inside you screamed that she should be.

you couldn’t stay.

without thinking, you turned and quietly slipped out of the greenhouse, avoiding the curious glances of your family. the sounds of the ceremony, the murmurs of the guests, faded as you walked, faster and faster, until you were outside, out of the view of the guests, heading straight for the beach.

the water was cool, the sand soft beneath your feet, the gentle breeze soothing. but it wasn't enough. you could still feel the ache in your chest, the heaviness that had settled there the moment you saw karina walking down the aisle.

you had been so certain that you could do this, that you could keep your promise and be there for her, no matter what. but now, standing on the beach, the waves washing over your feet, you realize how foolish it had been to think that.

you sank to the sand, burying your face in your hands. how had things gotten this far? how had everything become so tangled, so complicated, so fast? and why did it feel like your heart was being torn in two?

you were torn in so many directions, your mind spinning with thoughts of karina, of the kiss, of your brother, and of everything that had led to this moment. you wanted to scream, to let the confusion and frustration pour out of you, but you couldn’t. you couldn’t make sense of it all.

everything felt like it was unraveling, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. the hurt, the guilt, the love that you couldn’t seem to let go of—it all washed over you, suffocating you. you loved her. you had always loved her, but it was wrong. she was marrying your brother. it wasn’t supposed to be like this. you weren’t supposed to be the one to feel this way.

but the feeling was there, as real as the sand beneath your feet and the wind against your skin. you couldn't deny it, no matter how hard you tried.

"y/n."

your heart skipped a beat. you looked up, and there she was, standing at the edge of the sand. karina, still in her wedding dress, the fabric flowing around her as she stepped toward you, barefoot.

"y/n," she repeated, her voice soft, almost pleading.

you were frozen, unable to move, unable to speak. your throat tightened; the words stuck.

“what are you doing here?” you managed to ask, your voice wavering.

“i couldn’t let you go,” she said, her voice breathless. “i can’t let you walk away from me. not like this.”

you stood up, unsure of what to say, but before you could form any words, karina was running toward you, her wedding dress trailing behind her. she didn’t stop until she was right in front of you, her hands trembling as she reached for yours.

"i can’t marry him," she whispered, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "not when i feel like this. not when it’s you i want."

the words hit you like a punch to the gut. your mind raced. "karina, this isn’t—"

"i don’t care," she interrupted. "i can’t pretend anymore. i’m sorry. i should’ve told you sooner. i should’ve never let you go, even when i knew how wrong it was. but i can’t marry him when i’m in love with you."

you blinked, staring at her. in love with you. she was in love with you. the words echoed in your head, and you couldn't find the strength to speak.

"y/n, please. say something."

karina’s face crumpled, and she stepped closer, her hands trembling as she cupped your face. “please,” she whispered, “don’t let me lose you. you're everything i want."

her touch was warm, and you couldn't help but lean into it. she was so close, and you could feel her heartbeat, her breathing, her warmth. it was intoxicating, and before you knew what you were doing, your lips met hers, gentle and tender, as if she was afraid of breaking you.

but you couldn't break. not when she was kissing you like this. not when her lips were so soft, and her arms were around your waist, pulling you closer. it felt like the world was shifting, the ground giving way beneath your feet. but she was there, holding onto you, her grip tight and desperate, like she was afraid of losing you.

the kiss deepened, and everything else fell away. all you could feel was her. all you could think about was how right it felt, how perfect it was, and how this was the moment you had been waiting for. you were home, in her arms, and nothing else mattered.

the kiss broke, and karina pulled back, her breathing ragged. her eyes were bright, full of emotion, and you knew yours were the same.

"i love you," she whispered, her voice cracking. "i love you, and i'm sorry i didn't realize it sooner."

the words washed over you, and for the first time, everything felt right.

"i love you too," you breathed, not caring that it was wrong or that you shouldn't be saying it. you couldn't stop yourself, and the feeling of finally letting the words out was overwhelming. "you're everything i want…and more."

her eyes widened, and then a smile tugged at her lips, wide and bright, as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. she kissed you again, fierce and passionate, and you could feel her joy, her relief, her love. it was the kind of kiss that made your heart swell, that made you feel like you were floating, and nothing could ever come between you.

"i'm yours," she whispered against your lips, her voice breaking. "i'll always be yours."

[amorre1989]

strange visit and a date night

pairing: Spencer Reid; reader; Derek Morgan

word count: 3,8k

story?: After Spencer runs to the grocery store to buy some things to have a date night with you, but, to surprise of both of you, agent Derek Morgan suddenly shows up at his door.

"alright so, eggs, flour, garlic, wine and tomato sauce, is that it?" he asks checking on the list you just gave him.

"perfect" you answer smiling.

"alright, I'll be back in a second" he says, kissing you softly while holding the back of your head gently. You smiled and let him get out of his own apartment. While waiting for him, you decided to do a little cleaning, you had already become a master in "Spencer Reid's ethics for deep cleaning a house", so cleaning the way he likes was easy as pi (as he would say).

While you were trying to get rid of a stain of sauce from a plate you heard a knock, honestly you just walked to the door you didn't even think about the knock not being Spence, so you opened it. There, standing in front of you, was a dark skin man, very tall and ripped, and bald.

You smiled and he looked surprised.

"uhm, I'm sorry, I think I got mixed with the numbers..." he said, checking again the number of the door. "mhm..weird"

"are you looking for Spencer Reid?" you asked, then you saw his face changing from confusion to super confusion.

"I am, yes"

"this is his apartment, he went grocery shopping"

"are you?...staying with him? or are you maybe being tutored or something?" "tutored?" you thought.

"no, I'm his... something" you said, you haven't discussed it yet...so it would be better to just leave it there.

He burst out laughing and held himself in the doorframe, you smiled, thinking it was funny.

"sorry, are you his friend?" you asked

"I'm Morgan, yes, I work with him" he said exchanging hands with you.

"oh!" now it all made sense "yes! of course, he always talks about you, come in please, if you wanna wait for him"

"I do! yes, thank you baby".

You closed the door and waited together for Spence while sipping coffee and chatting, being interrogated too "how'd you too meet?, how long have you been seeing each other?, do you live together?, why hasn't he said anything before?". So many questions you didn't know how far you could answer.

Then, you hear the sound of the keys opening the door.

"inflation is crazy, and old women should learn to calm down, that woman thought I wanted her stupid cat sand and we don't even-" he stood still, observing the image, you, his now 6 month old not girlfriend, and his womanizer attractive coworker, sitting on his couch together while apparently have been drinking the coffee he bought for you.

"hey pretty boy" says Morgan smiling "you didn't tell me you have a girlfriend"

"I uhm...what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask you if you- don't avoid my question!" he says standing up, are they gonna fight?, no, he'll finish Spence.

"it's private" he says leaving the bags and looking at you, you just smile, agreeing, it is private...well not so much because everyone knows but it's not like it's official.

"would you like to stay for dinner?" you ask.

"no!" shouts Spence from the kitchen, you and Morgan look at each other and chuckle.

"no, we had a date night planned" he says coming back to you both.

"alright, alright, I'll leave you too alone then...I came because I wanted to ask you where you buy your clothes, I need to wear something like your shirts to an event" he says.

"I'll send you the info later...just leave" he says pushing him out of the house, you laugh.

"goodbye princess" he says and you wave at him.

Spencer closes the door behind him standing with Morgan at the hallway.

"that's a pretty one you have there" says Morgan smiling

"she is, yeah, she's beautiful" Spencer says blushing

"why didn't you tell me?" Morgan asks

"it's just...I wanted to check this was real and not insignificant before saying anything"

"are you gonna ask her to be your girlfriend?" he smiles, he thinks Spence is such a girlfriend dude.

"I will...yeah, but I need to confirm she wants me to be her boyfriend first" he says

"I bet she'll say yes...so, date night huh?". Spence nods "what will your dessert be?" he asks laughing, Spence blushes but smiles and pushes him towards the elevator.

He waves goodbye to Morgan from outside the elevator and then comes back to you (as usual).

When he opens the door you're the first thing to his sight, taking out the groceries.

"so inflation is crazy?" you ask getting closer.

"yeah, and old ladies" he says pouting. "this was horrible, I never imagined Morgan would come to our house".

You smile at the sound of "our" house.

"let's start cooking for our super fun date night" you say and kiss him.

After Morgan leaves, you too start to cook. Tonight's menu is pasta! which you both love, now you're teaching him how to play with the seasonings and discover new flavors, you've made that since you got into Spencer's life, teach him how to experience, not only in cooking, in sports, your culture, places, and a lot of things Spencer always brought up when talking to the team unconsciously.

Now he's chopping garlic next to you, while you open the tomato bottle and pour it in the pot.

"you know? garlic is a great cleaner for the liver, in women it can help with vaginal infections, bloating from menstruation, it can even help the blood flow and It can help reduce bad cholesterol and triglycerides, and increase good cholesterol" he says while putting the garlic into the pot, you smile and kiss his cheek.

"good for me then, how about for you?"

"Garlic may help reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, strengthen the immune system, as it contains antiviral, antibacterial and antioxidant properties, It can help fight skin infections, such as athlete's foot and ringworm, as well as intestinal infections" he says smiling at you.

"sounds good, we should eat lots of garlic then" you say and kiss his cheek. He smiles and blushes and starts to chop some carrots and meat. You open the cabinet and give him another board for the meat, then you open the drawer and give him another knife.

"different knives and boards baby" you say while taking the pasta from another cabinet.

"right" he says, not in a bad mood though, in a way that shows he understands and listens to you.

When the pasta finishes cooking you mix it with the sauce together, then you both set the table and he runs to the living room.

You take a peek but you aren't able to see anything besides the door, then he puts a red candle on the center of the table and lights it on, you smile and he smiles.

"how prepared" you say teasingly.

He smiles and kisses you, so sweet and comfortable, his lips are where yours should be stored always.

You have dinner discussing a book you read together and how pretty both of you look tonight.

"your friend Morgan's cool" you say.

"yeah, he's funny" he says. You wipe a stain of sauce from his lips and he smiles, almost spitting the pasta from his mouth as you laugh, then he laughs along.

"you make me nervous..." he mumbles looking down at his plate.

"why?" you ask giggling.

"you just do" he says smiling, he leans and kisses you.

After dinner comes dessert, which was shared ice cream while laying on the couch watching a movie, you interrogate him with questions like "what would you do if..., or what do you prefer?..." which makes him laugh but think.

That's your night, those are your nights, as usual, filled with love and laughs, while he strokes the skin he's able to reach. Once he told you he was a germophobe, now you can't believe it because how can Spence, the man that's all day with his hands on you, when you cook, when you get dressed, when you're brushing your teeth at the same time, when you're sleeping, even unconsciously, be a germophobe?.

Soft strokes on your bare leg, his index finger stroking your thighs, then your calves that he pulled on his thighs, then kisses, kisses on your legs which he says he loves so much. Suddenly he's above you, soft kisses from the ice cream and the warmness from his skin covered in a shirt.

You can hear the credits of the now finished movie, but that's not something that's gonna be the principal of your attention, you focus on his lips on yours, on your neck, then on the feeling of his fingers brushing against your skin while unbuttoning your shirt to after feeling him kissing and licking your chest, you focus on thinking about how he's leaving marks on you that say "Spencer was here". Morgan was right, you were gonna be the dessert afterwards.

[rednightmare18]

One of the huge, character-arc-central things that new KCD2 fans who don't play KCD1 may miss has to do with the way Hans & Henry's relationship has evolved over time. I worry that new players to the second game may mistake their relationship as one where Henry has been brought up to serve as Hans's squire from a young age, and they've been companions forever, but haven't quite managed to figure out how to overcome their class difference in order to truly connect as friends. That's not true--it's not at all the way things are between them--and it's VITAL that it isn't.

Three big reasons:

Playing KCD1 and understanding how Hans & Henry meet is critical to understanding how Hans has changed and is continuing to change because of his relationship with Henry. The Hans we meet at the start of KCD1 is a very different person from the Hans we meet at the start of KCD2 (and again very different from the Hans we leave at the end of it). Believe it or not, KCD2 Hans is "calm Hans." KCD1 introduces Hans as a much more aggressive, competitive, spazzy, violent and buckwild person. Frankly, a lonely person clawing for attention, usually negative. There's a reason for this: Han's elevated position means he has never had a real friend who speaks to him and views him as an equal. Then Henry is dropped into his lap under an incredibly unique set of circumstances, emotional and logistical, that enable this lowly blacksmith to briefly overcome feudal mentality and treat Hans like a person. This changes everything for Hans from this point onward, which is why he bonds so intensely and so swiftly to Henry, who is the sole reason Hans calms the fuck down into the person we meet at the start of KCD2. Henry is much, much more important to Hans than "my loyal bodyguard." He is his sole friend, and perhaps the only one he will ever be able to have. Hans and Henry both know this very well. If you miss KCD1, you may well miss this crucial context. (You'll also be partially left in the dark as to why Henry genuinely likes Hans back, who came into his life and provided disruption, anger, joy, and distraction from a time of otherwise personality-consuming, overwhelming grief.)

The "divorce" is really clearly not contextualized properly for new players who missed KCD1. Hans's little blow up at Henry is kind of painful to watch, but if you played KCD1, you'll know that it also shows a really beautiful step of character development for Hans and is a sign of a strengthening relationship... not an actual friend breakup, narrowly avoided. Hans spends most of KCD1 terrified to disagree with Henry. Any time Henry pushes him even a little, Hans will crumble, instantly, folding his personality and backing off in clear fear he's about to lose his One Friend. That KCD2 shows us a calmer Hans who IS NOT scared that fighting (nastily!) with Henry will destroy their friendship is huge. This, crucially, is why Hans and Henry both continue to look for each other and speak about their quest in "we" terms, even as Hans keeps dramatically yelling at Henry to stop following him. It's why Hans instantly jumps to his defense and can't hold back his cheers for him; it's why Henry immediately starts looking for him and worries deeply about the trouble he's getting into. What might seem like a series of inconsistencies or "hints" that they really might like each other is really beautifully consistent with everything we've seen. If you know this context, then you'll know as you watch it unfold that "The divorce" isn't and was never supposed to be understood as a real divorce. It's the progression of their relationship to a place where they can fight with each other when they're upset, openly and pettily, and both still remain certain that there is no future in which they don't continue to move through the world together. Even when they're both pissed off at each other. Warhorse tried to provide some catch-up context here, both with Henry's scolding of Hans ("I know we both know you don't mean that.") in the socks and with Hans's persistent references to "we' and "us" every time you run into him post-breakup. They also clearly tried to frame it as funnily as possible, right down to their bickering making crowds uncomfortable and inspiring the catchpole to "you're-better-off-without-him" comfort Henry. But I feel a lot of it is still lost if the player is not able to appreciate how being able to fight like this, as messy and petulant as they are, is not a threat of divorce they bounce back from. It's a sign of the strength of their friendship versus the way it was in KCD1. It wasn't a divorce. Hans was never, as he confirms at the poacher's camp and the wedding, going to leave Henry behind. It was exactly as it was framed: a lover's tiff. They were never going to really break up. While attentive players will probably pick up on this, it's a much richer and more enjoyable experience knowing the full background in KCD1.

Absolutely essential to understand that Hans is never really threatening to pull rank on Henry with his language of "peasant" and "blacksmith," even when they disagree about when Henry should and shouldn't interfere in noble business. What might appear to a new player to be genuine class tension between them and a muddled set of interpersonal boundaries is simply how they play and taunt and provoke each other, something firmly resolved and established in KCD1. There's still class tension, certainly, but it does not exist between them in quite this way, but as a divergence in worldviews and the frustration of the conflict their differences bring into the world. "Watch your tone, peasant" is, plainly put, a flirt. So is Hans's pseudo-contemptuous "blacksmith." So is "peasant" and "my lord" and "your lordship." In private, those distinctions have no real teeth behind them - it is just how they play.

Love KCD2? Want to love it even more? Play KCD1, jank and all. Be there for the start of the story. You will have an even better time in the sequel the next time you play.