#i haven't been able to figure out what makes me avoid washing the dishes

[drivingthesehillsaway]

how do i not be overwhelmed by washing dishes

[ithinkimightbenobody]

I have some sort of sensitivity to family time, especially during meals.

I have never sensed that my other siblings felt the same way, they were able to eat with good appetite, make conversations and sometimes laugh.

This feeling I have, recently developed, I can't recall I felt this way earlier while growing up, can't figure if l had a different view of things at the time or maybe I wasn't even allowed to feel anything. Perhaps I tolerated them better, or was blinded from the fact that I don't have to anymore.

I wish I could say after all these years I have mastered avoiding dinner time, I think I'm getting worse at it with time as it's getting too obvious now that they sometimes confront about it, I just deny it cause words cost nothing, it's not my problem that my appetite appears right after dinner time, or how I always need the bathroom when I hear the sound of the metal spoons being placed over the glass surface of the table, it has to be some reflex my body have created.

I'm just irritated, in a way that'd make me sound like a terrible person, in the face of this loving family who claim to love and care for me, I believe this is how they all see me, as if I never made it through the teenage years, they keep saying it's my choice to stay inside, and all I see that it's an involuntary act of withdrawing immediately in the occurrence of this event, I can't physically tolerate it, haven't tried to fight it and never looked for answers behind it, I don't know what's the secret, is it the boring food, the house, or my mother's face, desperate to make conversation.

The atmosphere is suffocating, and the way they are able to carry a conversation is always a mystery to me, can't decide if it's worse or the deadly silence that always leaves room for thinking and observation to these little sad details I've been trying to forget.

I think the best solution for everyone is if I just disappear, I'd rather be the asshole inside than the asshole on the table, they maybe think I don't care about what they're saying while I'm just secretly praying that no one will ever include me or ask me about anything, because I will appear frankly annoyed or maybe I can succeed pulling a fake smile, and for people whose been living with me for a quarter of a century, it won't be very convincing.

I can see it in their eyes, they are willing to communicate, they reach out most of the time, a relentless approach for a distant family member.

Caught up in my own fog of thoughts and feelings avoiding any interaction and always taking the easy way out, a perfect example for a weak selfish person.

It's sad cause it's automatic, I don't feel guilty cause I'm rarely conscious while doing that, I'm stalling them as much as I'm stalling myself.

I feel that maybe I need a long extended apology, for doings they don't even know they committed, and as much sad as ironic, things I'm not even sure happen.

I live everyday with the possibility of my whole life being narrated by my brain making me the perfect victim while in fact all the people around me were just being. What if nothing actually happened the way I received it, and whose problem is this?

I'm so scared that by the time I overcome these overwhelming feelings, that I seem to be very immature to resolve, there won't be much of a family left around that table.

It just hit me that by the time I can finally accept washing the dishes there won't be much dishes to wash, with years I find myself bringing fewer spoons, fewer plates.

I hope this idea won't cross my mind when that day comes.

I don't think I have the right to shed tears as I'm writing this while hiding from dinner time, again, today I said it was too cold and I'm sleepy, also that I'm not that hungry even though it was never about the food.

[mochilici0us]

One New Message | jjk (4)

➳ 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: angst, thriller, stalker au

➳ 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: Skye realizes she has to deal with a ruthless stalker when the messages she’s constantly receiving are getting more and more threatening. A stalker that makes her recall memories of the past she swore she would never rake up again

➳ 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2,5k

prologue, part one, part two, part three, part four

April 2013

''Skye can you pass me the milk please?'' my father kindly requests while we enjoy our breakfast. They enjoy to be exact. I can hardly take part in their conversation, my mind is away.

My eyes can't stop following her skinnier, exhausted figure moving from the kitchen to the dining haul and serving breakfast.

Something's up these days, she avoids eye contact with me at all costs, we haven't even talked properly. She's acting cold towards me just muttering a few weak goodmornings and goodnights. Yeah, those are the only words I've exchanged with my ''best friend'', not even a little talk to catch up with each other's news.

''Ruby can you fetch me some honey?'' my mother yells so that Ruby listens from the kitchen. A few seconds after she appears holding a jar of honey. Even her walk is stiff, I'm genuinely concerned about her health.

''Here you are'' I'm sure she can feel my burning gaze as she leaves the honey on the table and finally after a week our eyes meet.

Shit, she looks so pale, dark circles under her red eyes, chipped lips, I can even practically see her facial bones. To my surprise she doesn't look annoyed or angry. She just glances at me tiredly, as if she had quit living.

My piercing gaze on the other hand is anything but calm and sympathetic. She's clearly sick, something's eating her alive and instead of sharing her concerns with me she stays away?

Our eye contact lasts only for a few seconds but it's strong enough to show my restrained rage.

She realizes it immediately, averts her gaze and leaves like the coward she is.

''This weekend I'm leaving on an unexpected business trip'' my father announces and takes a sip of his coffee right after

''Again? You were on a business trip last week'' my mother fires back

''Do you think it's up to me? For your information I'd rather stay home and relax with my family''

''I don't mean it's your fault I just...''

''You make me feel terrible every time I have to tell you about a businesstrip. I can't talk to my family without restrictions anymore Christen''

''Ok I'm sorry don't get mad'' my mother lowers her eyes and apologises quickly before my father gets more angry.

Sometimes I admire my dad. He's so manipulative but not in a bossy way, he always prevails upon my mother with sensible arguments, voice laced with sweetness.

He's so diplomatic, no doubt he has built such a great career

''Darling why are you not eating?'' my mother remarks as I fiddle with the spoon. The bowl of granola cereals is untouched.

''I have no appetite. I have to go to school anyway, I'm late'' I pretendto study my watch and stand up

''Do you want me to come with you?'' my father suggests

''Nο it's ok I can walk''

''Skye are you sure everything's ok?'' I hear my mother's voice as I head towards the living room to grab my backpack.

''I'm fine mum I just didn't sleep well. See you later''

As I'm about to exit alone Ruby appears out of nowhere. Her body posture screams nervousness.

''You didn't eat your breakfast'' she speaks quietly biting her already chopped lips

She's been avoiding me for a week and now she pretends to be a thoughtful friend. She made me feel depressed, cry myself to sleep thinking what the hell I did wrong and now she plays dumb?

I just stay still without answering, my intense eyes glued to her wandering ones. She doesn't even dare to look at my eyes.

She clears her throat ''Here''she takes a fresh hand-made sandwich out of her pocket and extends her hand. I eye her hand without moving an inch.

''You can eat it instead. You look like a sceleton'' I spit my venom and walk out of my house without sparing her a glance.

It was too late when I realized what I had said.

''I love spaghetti but my mother never cooks. My dad says she cooks terrible but that's a secret'' Grace's friend Lisa whispers and pretends to seal her lips. She's so cute.

''Don't worry your secret is safe''

She nods and digs into her food again. Under other circumstances I wouldn't have cooked but today Susan picked up both Grace and Lisa so I couldn't disoblige her. Her puppy eyes gave me enough courage to get up and cook even though I'm still in a cast.

The three of us are sitting in the dining table and enjoying my home-made bolognese spaghetti. I was never good at cooking, I couldn't cook to save my life to be exact but I had to learn how for Grace. So I practiced and practiced till I reached my goal, I didn't want to become the new master chef, just learn how to cook some basic things so that Grace eats home-made food. In the beginning I would constantly fail but practice makes perfect.

''Eat your veggies as well girls'' I gesture at the bowl of salad.

They both nod like good girls and do as I say. They're so freaking adorable. Lisa has short black hair with bangs and chocolate brown eyes. She's small but taller than Grace. She comes by often, most of the times I pick her up from school as well since Grace and her are classmates.

Her favorite foods are spaghetti, steak with baby potatoes and vegetable fried rice. Let's not forget my signature fruit smoothie which I always serve with vanilla frosting cupcakes.

We always sit and eat together, exchanging news, telling jokes. I really enjoy their interactions, they look like two tiny dumplings.

"What did you do in school today?" I ask intertwining my fingers

"We drew our dream gardens, mine has a huge swimming pool" Lisa hurries to answer

"Mine has a plenty of colorful flowers and a big telescope on the center to admire the stars. And the Sky. Sky as we say Skye" Grace jokes shyly, puffing her flushed cheeks. Lisa bursts into a laughter once she gets the joke.

"Good one Grace" I wink at my little sister who resembles a puppy waiting for a praise.

After a while we're finally done with the food. I really missed cooking and eating my own food, Susan cooks pretty decently as well but I was craving so bad for some of my spaghetti.

''Did you enjoy your meal girls?'' I eye the empty plates

''Yeah!''they both cheer

''Go to play now while I prepare your fruits''

The two small kitties obey and walk towards the room wiggling their small butts. I can't help but chuckle at them.

My eyes land on the dirty dining table as I sigh disappointed, washing the dishes is definitely the worst part of cooking and eating. No matter how much I enjoy preparing food and trying new recipes, the process of cleaning after is terrible. I'm going to wash the dishes later I think and slowly proceed to my big kitchen to cut fruits for the girls, my hands holding the crutches tight.

Being on my feet isn't the best idea whatsoever but tomorrow I'm having my cast removed so my ankle is pretty much healed.

I go for strawberries, bananas and pears and also pick two colorful bowls.

As I already mentioned tomorrow I'm having my cast removed. My stomach twitches in anticipation. Will he be there? Two weeks have passed but I still find myself thinking of him before sleeping even though the picture of him is blurry and distant. Just a memory, a distant picture of him is enough to keep me up at night...

I brush away these thoughts and throw the fruits into the bowls, adding some honey on top and voila! A quick and healthy sweet fruit salad.

"Girls come on" I yell and wait for the two little ones to arrive, trying to distract my mind from unwanted thoughts.

What I know for sure is that tomorrow is a big day....

"You're finally able to walk again, I'm so happy'' Susan cheers and hugs me tight as we exit the hospital. Unfortunately I didn't have my cast removed by the pretty doctor, he didn't even appear to be exact.

Disappointed but not suprised

The young cute nurse was there though, she recognized me and even greeted me, I was THIS close to ask about him but my pride didn't allow me.

''How are you feeling?'' Her hand strokes my back

''Weird'' I respond eyeing my healed ankle ''I was used to walking on crutches''

Indeed last 2 weeks I would only walk using my crutches, they had become a part of my routine. I certainly feel better now though, well-rested,healthy, ready to return to reality.

''Let's go, I'm treating you to brunch.. There are so many things we have to catch up on after''

''W-what do you mean?'' I stutter scared because I have a feeling that I already know her answer

''Shopping therapy of course''

Oh no...

''Susan are you kidding I just removed my cast''

''Sweetheart you know I wouldn't drag you along unless I had a reason. Next Tuesday is Yoongi's birthday party, we have to get our outfits''

''Yoongi's birthday...'' I scratch my sculpt looking at her sheepishly''I totally forgot, I'm sorry''

''It's ok, you're coming anyway''

''What about-''

''Taehyung's gonna take care of your sister don't worry'' she cuts me off as if she had read my thoughts

I nod, it's rude to deny the invitation

''Yoongi's friends are really handsome and some of them are single so don't think you're getting off. We have to find a cute outfit for you as well... now let's eat'' I roll my eyes but agree rubbing my stomach that hasn't stopped rumbling and finally get in her car .

''It's stunning'' I examine the purple midi dress Susan's holding. The material is silk, it appears glamorous, expensive and the embellished straps detail completes the look.

''Should I try it on?'' she hesitates

''Of course, purple looks amazing on you'' That's true, the contrast between her ginger hair, green eyes and the purple colour is definitely unique. Purple flatters every single of her characteristics.

''Let's find something for you'' her eyes wander around the store

''I gained weight these days so I should go for something baggy''

''No Skye, you should go for something sexy yet sick that emphasizes your cleavage. Your boobs got bigger, thankfully'' she whispers the last word and rolls her eyes

''Susan'' I whisper yell covering my breasts with my hands ''Did they?'' I rethink my friend's comment. Indeed I've noticed a slight development. This whole weight gaining story had a positive result at least.

Once I realise where my hands are and how the rest of the customers look at me probably thinking I'm a horny pervert I instantly lower them and grab the first dress I lay my eyes on.

''This one is perfect yes'' Susan practically runs towards me ''It's very elegant and the lace detail makes it sensual. You're definitely trying it on''

I take a closer look at the dress I picked out on random. It's certainly cute, off shoulder, midi, black with lace but tight as hell

''Isn't it way too tight? I think it's gonna accentuate every single bloated part of my body''

''Try it out you have nothing to lose. Besides the party is in 5 days, you have plenty of time to search for a dress''

''There's no way I'm going through this again. It's either today or I'm coming wearing my Pjs'' I announce and make my way to the fitting rooms determined. I can hear Susan mumbling a few curses, probably blaming me for being grumpy and stubborn.

''Excuse me'' an assistant approaches us

''There's only one fitting room available. I'm afraid you have to wait for a while''

''No problem, Susan you go first''

''Are you sure?''

I nod and sit in the comfortable blue chair that matches the rest of the decoration and furnishings of the store.

This showroom is excellently designed, the minimal yet eccentric blue décor casts an air of originality as the majority of stores follow a consistent pattern. No wonder it's Susan's favorite showroom, modern decor, excellent service and the clothing here is feminine, figure-friendly just like the dress I'm holding.

I'm so absorbed in gaping at the interior decoration that I don't notice my friend standing in front of me.

''Hey, earth to Skye'' she wiggles her fingers in front of my face

''Sorry'' I take my time studying her figure. ''I really like it. It's ideal for your body type and the colour is gorgeous''

The violet silk dress looks perfect on her, the semi tight fit shows up her toned silhouette, the swarovski embellished spaghetti straps together with the V neck flaunt her beautiful collarbones.

''I think it looks lovely too'' the cheerful, helpful assistant comments

''Yeah I like it'' she stares at the mirror

''You can use that fitting room'' the girl gestures at an empty room smiling. How are they always so kind and happy?''It's free now''

''Thank you'' I smile back and give a long sigh standing up from the soft chair.

Reluctantly I undress myself and wear the cute midi dress. It's tight but not as much as I expected. Well it's not that bad after all, I still need Susan's opinion though and a closer look in the big mirror. A few seconds later I'm out and heading for the mirror.

''Wow'' Susan talks ''It looks... stunning''

The dress hugs my body flawlessly, emphazising my curves. The off-shoulder design is very cute but sexy at the same time because my cleavage is shown off perfectly and I'm not even wearing a push up bra. I never thought I'd look that attractive in a dress.

''It fits you like a dream. You're definitely buying it'' Susan insistsand the assistant agrees

It's elegant yet sexy. Sexy in a non provocative way since it shows off only the right places.

''I think I'm getting this one'' I finally decide and Susan winks excitedly

''Hurry up we have to go for heels as well''

''Heels? Ha''  A humorless laugh leaves my lips

''You're laughing? What are you planning to wear with this dress then?'' she crosses her arms.

Her question catches me off guard but I act cool ''Flats? I don't care, anything but heels''

She laughs sarcastic lifting a shaped eyebrow ''Flats? If you plan to wear flat shoes on my husband's party I inform you that you're not invited''

I simply pout, my eyes pleading for mercy

''Come on Skye it's a party, a bussines kinda party you don't have to walk or dance. You can deal with heels under these circumstances I'm sure''

''Okay'' I sigh defeated meeting her gaze. There's no point in agruing, she's right I need heels with the apparel I chose.

''Hurry up then'' she scolds and enters the fitting room.

Have I mentioned how much I hate shopping with my best friend?

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

A Perfect Mess

This fic is based off chapter thirteen of @matchacakesareforfoxes fic Domesticity: The Random Files

I love their fic and if you haven't already, please go read it and the chapter this fic was inspired by. It was a privilege to write your and I just hope I managed to do it justice @matchacakesareforfoxes

In this fic the reader makes a mess

__________

You had tried to do this before, but you hadn't tried to do so in this place. In speaking about this place, you meant in the warmth and familiarity of his kitchen; whose tiles, corners, and fascinating collection of mugs were almost known by name; of the items which hadn't been given a name, they still had a purpose but weren't as remembered or remarkable. You've cooked other things here, like lunches and dinners, and breakfast on rare occasions, but baking here had been avoided. It hadn't been because Zeta-7s kitchen was lacking. On the contrary, it was a delightful space and he had all manner of ingredients; you weren't in want of possibilities or lacking imagination, but you held a reluctance.

Talent, for a better word, was not what you had when it came to sweets. It wasn't an art like cooking, but a culinary science which you knew Zeta-7 had studied down to the smallest degree. Still, you were going to try. Oh, but trying was different than doing.

You leaned towards an upper shelf for the bottle of good vanilla and found you couldn't reach. If this hadn't been as much of a surprise as you wanted it to be, you would've accepted his assistance. You would've admired the outstretched arm which would've found no challenge in grabbing the amber bottle; filled with the essence which forever permeated a few of his favorite sweaters and at times was detected on his skin. Yet, those were sentiments which could flourish on another occasion, because you were going to do this on your own.

____________

Perhaps you should've prayed instead.

The song McArthur Park came to mind when you stepped on the eggshells which missed the trash can. When the baking soda spilled all over the counter you couldn't recall, and you realized you were dusted with flour as though you had applied it like an after shower perfume; you thought maybe you should've quit. Yet, despite losing the recipe you had pinned on Pinterest and the ungodly amount of sugar which had been used, the batter was mixed together and placed in the oven. Great, that was done but now there was the mess. Oh man, where to begin.

Glancing at yourself, you thought maybe you should change, but you'd have to swing by your house to do so. Decisions, decisions; it just felt like too much work. During the span of time when you had wondered as to what you should do, the scent of burning passed your nose. That part though was simple to figure out; the oven was on fire. Wait……the Oven was ON FIRE?!

“RICK!”

Wherever he had been in the house hadn't mattered, for not only did he rush in, but his three robot clones had as well. If you hadn't been so panicked, you might've wondered why they hadn't joined in past cuddle sessions. Zeta-7 wasted no time when he scooped you up in his arms while clones one and two extinguished the fire. "Are y-y-you okay?"

"I'm um… I'm fine, but I'm not sure about the oven."

Clone three removed the burned contents of what would've been cookies, and determined that nothing had been damaged, but it would take a while to clean. Seeing that his robots had it under control, Zeta-7 eased you down onto the couch not caring if you would leave a mess and inspected you until he was satisfied that you hadn't injured yourself. "Ricky, I told you I was fine."

"Y-you're right, I'm s-sorry."

"No," you sighed; disheartened but all the more so embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I can't believe this all happened. I should've asked where the fire extinguisher was first. That, or bought some baking skills at Bed Bath and Beyond. I'm pretty sure you can find it in the abyss of the Beyond section."

Now that death was not imminent, you were a jumbled mess and just babbled as though it would make things better or possibly make sense. Zeta-7 for his part studied you, and the more he did, the more you wished you could crawl under a rock. You deserved to be yelled at, scolded, or anything where you would be punished for daring to believe you could keep up with this man skills. And when he opened his mouth to speak, you thought you were in for it, but instead, he laughed; the kind which spoke of his relief; you hadn't quite expected that reaction. You were partly confused, partly annoyed that he hadn't been upset when he should've been, but your pouting only encouraged his amusement; his laughter filling the house with this happy noise.

When he was like this, you couldn't stand how much you loved him; how you were won over, and enamored by the radiance he exuded easily; all the lines around his eyes and mouth prominent but reassuring of his happiness. Soon enough, having watched Rick collapse over himself with mirth, inspired giggles of your own to bubble forth. It would be a few minutes when either of you was rational; at least enough to explain what had transpired a half-hour before.

You wanted to bake cookies and surprise Rick while he was working. That was it; just bake cookies then surprise Rick with said cookies; possibly earn a few brownie points; any points for that matter, but no, the Baking Gods were against such aspirations for you evidently. Rick for his part, placed his hands lightly on your shoulders and gave them a squeeze, leaning over enough so you both would be eye to eye. “I don't think any Gods had a hand in this, I think y-your power is just too great for baking cookies.”

You tried not to, but you couldn't help it and began another fit of laughter with Rick not far behind. "I don't think I have any powers worth mentioning, but they are weak against chocolate. As well as other things."

The laugh which had been ready to escape him seemed to die as he took a glance at your lips, then away as though whatever thought sprang up in his head wasn't worth elaborating further. You really wished he would've because then you could've elaborated on a thought of your own.

__________

When you two had found your composure, you set about cleaning up the kitchen together; hopefully, it would be easier now that you had gotten the taste of pyromania out of your system. “Rick, you don't have to stay here. I can clean it up on my own.”

Zeta-7 wouldn't hear of it and simply smiled. "It's okay. Besides, it's no fun cleaning up th-the dishes by yourself.”

You blew a raspberry at him, petulant. "Are you sure? Or is spontaneous combustion also a worry for you?"

"N-no not at all."

“You just don't want me to be in here by myself anymore, huh?” you teased; flashing him a wink.

Confusion; the silent inquisition which occurred when you danced in between the barrier of enigmatic and odd. The questions which he had never came up, for the confusion melted into something like a smirk as he flicked some suds on your nose with the dish sponge. With mock surprise, you grabbed a spoon from the soapy water and placed it under the faucet; effectively splashing him and also yourself. "That did not go as I planned it."

Rick shook his head at you, but instead of responding he dipped his hands in the water and splashed you with more soapy dishwater; you responding in like kind; splashing each other and getting water all over the floor and yourselves; completely soaked in a matter of minutes. You didn't want to know how much worse you must've looked. However, when you calmed a little from your hysterics, you realized he had stopped laughing; lost to his ruminations. You wondered if you had pushed him too far, or if he was upset about the wet floor, but what followed was not what you had expected.

He was staring at you past his drenched bangs, his electric blues immovable in their intensity; this in itself was not uncommon, but it gave him this otherworldly quality; as though they would glow in the dark if the lights went out. The front of his sweater clung to him; the outline of his lean muscles impossible to ignore. You felt warmth in your cheeks; warmer yet when the hand which had been holding a sponge earlier, came up to cup your cheek and an arm was slipped about your waist. "Rick, I'm a mess. You don't…you wouldn't want to..."

"Gosh, y-you're so beautiful." he interrupted.

"What? No," you retorted, trying to pull away from his grasp as though you didn't deserve it. "not like this. I'm a mess and the dishes still need to be washed. If anything, I'm a disaster."

Tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear, he softened. "Y-you're not a disaster."

"Yes, I am. I disrupted your work, almost burned down the house and dirtied your cute sweater."

"Gosh, it was only a-a happy accident."

"In what way?" you wondered.

"I-I got to see you. I don't know when I-I would've stepped out of the garage. Possibly whenever I finished working on my latest invention, but I should've been here instead. We could've baked together."

"I didn't want to bother you. You had your welding helmet on and all those processor chips. I wasn't sure if you were making a computer or a doomsday device, but you were busy. I know how important your work is to you."

"It is important but not as important as you. I'm sorry about that. I - an idea had struck me and I was dying t-t-to get started, but it seems I wouldn't have been able t-t-to get that far anyway since I didn't have all the parts required. This means I-I did have time."

"I didn't know. I just wanted to make you happy with a sweet surprise."

"Gee, I'm happy having you here. That alone is enough. I got t-t-to see a whole new side to you that I haven't seen before. I don't - I'm not talking about the way you're dressed, but unlike those other times we've cooked together, I feel as though I saw the real you. You don't - I know how you feel when it comes t-t-to baking and how frustrating you find it, but finding you there amongst that mess, wearing an apron that's a-a little too big for you and the flour on your cheeks, why it was…"

"A mess." you frowned.

"An adorable mess; a beautiful mess; a-a perfect mess."

"Dear, I don't think those words go together."

"I guess they don't, but I meant it when I said I was glad t-t-to see you're alright, and here all in one piece. That's all I could ask for. I thought an intruder had managed t-to get into the house, or that one of the security bots had malfunctioned, which was why I unleashed my robot clones, but seeing that it was simply a-a cooking accident was the best thing I could've seen because it meant that I-I hadn't lost you."

The hand which had cupped your cheek slipped itself into your hair and smoothed it down, gently, and with purpose. The seriousness which you had seen in his eyes earlier had returned, and the arm around your waist tightened. "Rick," you softened. "it'll take more than burned cookies to take me away from you."

"Really?" he brightened.

"Of course."

Looking at you, in that funny, darling way as he did from time to time, he pressed a kiss upon your temple and lingered there; finding comfort in the closeness. You rubbed his back, and told him it was okay; that you were okay and that he didn't need to worry. Though, in reality, you realized that you needed to be more diligent next time you decided to bake. However, knowing that he had your back if you put yourself in danger again was comforting in its own right.

And when it seemed that he had been comforted enough, he pulled away a little, only to return with an unknown confidence and captured your mouth in a soft kiss; his insistence winning you over, and made you forget what it was either of you was supposed to do; all there being was you, him, and the fading world. Entranced, you seemed to mold into him, and melted with every second that passed. If you hadn't needed to breathe, there wouldn't have been any force in this universe that could've made you two part. Yet, part you would, and when he pulled away, you wondered. "What about the dishes?"

Whether he was aware of it or it was done unconsciously Zeta-7 chased after your retreating mouth. With cheeks aflame, he answered before kissing you again. "The dishes can ugh - can wait."

Fin

[fluffychubbyrose]

Fili x Bashful Chubby Reader. 1/?

Warnings- Slight gore and Fili from the hobbit may be more oc than some readers would like. First time writing a hobbit fanfic. Sorry if I make any mistakes on places, names, roles ect.

Shout out to @findingmyselfalone for the request! Thank you, and I hope this lives up to your hopes for this fic! I apologize more than you know for how long it has taken me to write this fic and I'm so sorry for the long wait. I've been so busy and haven't had much time to work on it, but here it is and I hope you like it!

(I of course do not own The Hobbit an Unexpected Journey, or the characters from the hobbit. Nor do I own the pictures below.)

P.s. to clear up any confusion about knowing Bilbo Baggins since him and the reader where children is because the reader is half hobbit and half human while five foot is tall for a hobbit it's normal height for a human woman. I'm prolonging the meeting between Radagast and Gandalf so they're still riding/traveling through the mountains for a while before they meet and face the giant spiders.

Gandalf recruited me to join the company for my skills as a herbalist. I was reluctant and nervous at first when he explained that I would be accompanying thirteen dwarves, himself and Bilbo. I was unsure about traveling with thirteen men I've never met before and trusting them to protect me and in turn I treat their wounds and give them medical care when needed. I was undecided still because I had planned on opening up my own herbalist shop soon, but when the place I was going to buy was bought out from under me before I had enough coin, I figured a little bit of adventure would be a good distraction from this devastating disappointment.

Luckily do to having to travel long distances to get specific ingredients to treat different ailments, I'm well equipped in travel and my black female clydesdale named Midnight is used to heavy loads and long cold roads. I'm far to tall and big to ride a pony plus she's able to carry all of my supplies and my weight which is heavier than most women of my age and stature in general. I packed her up with all the essentials I'd need for basic ailment treatments such as colds and wound care so nothing gets infected. Along with other basic necessities such as changes of clothes, my bed roll, blankets, and preserved foods enough for a month's ration including breads and the ingredients and supplies to make bread if we get the time while traveling. I also have a few pounds of various smoked meats, jams, and pickled vegetables.

Even though Gandalf assured me there would be plenty of food and to not worry about bringing any of my own, I'm used to packing food just in case I want a quick meal while collecting herbs, that way I have it with me, so by now it's habit and I won't go without being prepared just in case. After a short ride I arrived at Bilbo Baggins house and tied my horse to a tree. "Stay girl I'll be back by dawn." I've been friends with the hobbit for a long while. His mother was a like a sister to my mother, and in turn we were around each other a lot.

He knows how shy I am around new people, hell it took me a year to be comfortable and confident enough to be true to myself around the sweet mannered hobbit when we where children, and my shyness hasn't improved at all over the years if anything it's worsened. I know he has to be dreading some, if not all of these dwarves arrival so I cant help but think the worst. Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice Bilbo suddenly open the door. "Oh hello miss Y/n, I hope you weren't waiting out in the cold for long. Please, hurry inside." Bilbo lead me inside with a sigh.

"Hello Bilbo do you need any help with anything for the guests." "How did you know? What is going on here, and yes there's two men here I have never meet before and they said they expected food and lots of it. So um if you want to start cooking for me in the kitchen that way I keep an eye on the uninvited guests that would be a great help, if you wouldn't mind." " No not at all that's why I asked, and what do you mean. Gandalf said he was getting people together for an adventure, he said it was going to be him, you, me and thirteen dwarves." "Thirteen?!!" "Yes? Were you not informed about this and that we where supposed to meet here?" "No, I was not informed in the slightest." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like me to leave?"

"Oh no please stay and help me with them, the two dwarves who are currently here are rading through my pantry looking for food." "Well everything I need should be in the kitchen so I'll just sneak in there and start cooking for everyone, seeing as you weren't expecting any guests tonight so you didn't get to prepare for their arrival." "Oh, thank you miss Y/n that helps a lot." "Your welcome Bilbo." As I was about to head off to the kitchen I can hear the commotion coming from the dining room, no wonder he looks so stressed sounds like there's some bears in there instead of dwarves.

I enter the kitchen missing Bilbo trying to turn away the two dwarve princes and failing, ending up with them shoving past him into the house. It took me two hours but everything was done cooking besides the rolls and a few things need to be heated up a little more or reheated. The whole time I was cooking there was all kinds of commotion coming from the other rooms I'm assuming everyone has finally arrived. As I was getting ready to bring the food out to the dining room to be served up I hear singing. I waited and listened as best I could to the merry tune until the singing was done and then started to load dishes up onto trays, there was three in total and each tray was heavy but not overwhelmingly so.

I grabbed the first tray and started heading towards the dining room, I was shaking slightly and flushed from nerves. There was conversations throughout the room but when I walked through the door all went silent and I started to shake a little harder and it felt like my face was engulfed in flames. Trying not to let their stares get to me anymore than they already have, I started putting the dishes onto the table. I quickly exited the room without a word and avoiding eye contact with everyone. Once I reached the kitchen I let out a series of shaky breaths and grabbed another tray.

'Come on Y/n it's nothing you haven't dealt with before, you can do this. Your going to have to travel with them for a few months, so you need to get used to them being around sooner rather than later.' I can hear the conversation start back up, and when I neared the dining room again I could hear that the conversation was about me, they where mentioning my name but I couldn't make out what was being said. 'Oh no not already, I was hoping they wouldn't react like this about me and my weight.' I sigh more anxious than ever and when I come in the room this time I'm startled and surprised to be bombarded with questions from the thirteen new comers.

"Your going to be traveling with us lass?" "Should a fine thing like yourself really be going on risky adventures?" "How well can you cook?" "Oh do you need help? Let me get that." "Wanna sit next to me?" Everyone was bustling around and asking so many questions I only was able to catch a few of them. The tray I was carrying was taken from my hands before I could give an answer and I was surrounded by dwarves. "I'm Fili this is Kili and that's Dwalin, Balin, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bombur, and the grump over there is Thorin." I was getting overwhelmed.

"Enough, leave her be!" Gandalf raised from his seat and looked over everyone. "Y/n You may seat next to me and Bilbo thank you for making and bringing the food out for our guests." "Yy-our welcome." I stuttered out, looking at my shoes. "There's one more tray of food, I'll get it real quick." I mumbled out turning back around towards the kitchen. "Oh no don't worry about that little one, Bombur go get the last tray of food from the kitchen for miss Y/n. Now sit child." The one dwarf I now know as Bombur hurried off to the kitchen while I took my seat with Bilbo on my left and Gandalf on his left, while on my right was the dwarf who tried to introduced me to everyone by telling me their names and pointing to them, I think he said his name was Fili?

'Yeah that sounds right.' Usually I wouldn't eat in front of new people because I was insecure but I haven't eaten since early afternoon and I'm starved, plus everyone is basically fighting over the food so they won't notice me. I loaded up my plate with some meat, roasted potatoes, a roll, and a slice of the vanilla cake I made. I kept my head down while Bombur placed the last tray in front of me, it was the tray with the cooked vegetables I was about to serve myself some of the boiled green beans when the blonde dwarf next to me gently grabbed my arm. I blushed brighter than a tomato and tried to take my arm back, while also trying to hide my face. "Here let me lass." His hold stayed as he set my arm by my side.

He was dishing up the green beans onto my plate for me. 'What's going on? What do I do?' He let go and gave me sideways glance and smirked at me, then continued to eat his own food like nothing happened. That was my first personal encounter with Fili whom I later found out was a dwarven prince. My first impression of him was that he was nice but a charmer and I wasn't looking to get hurt or humiliated, not again. After I finished my plate full of food I quietly excused myself and went into the kitchen to wash my dishes, and after I was done I went to the spare room I usually stay in when I visit Bilbo locked the door and put on my night clothes and curled up in the bed. 'Tomorrow the adventure starts.' We'll see where I end up from here.

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(Time skip to when the pack pony with almost all of the food got spooked and ran away.)

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After making camp in a dryer spot, still wet but not drenched completely from the rains. We started setting up our beds and a fire, I unpacked the persevered food I had and gave it to Bofur to make dinner for us all with. I took my bed roll and a change of clothes out of the large saddle pack and set the bed roll and clothes in a spot more secluded from everyone but still having light to see from the fire raging in the middle of camp. Now that my bed is set up I walk Midnight to the field with the ponies to graze and rest, then I can change into my dry clothes once I'm away from the rambunctious dwarves. ' I'm so tired, I used to find their loud songs and jokes amusing and pleasant but not when I haven't been able to get more than three hours of sleep in the last five days, I'm tempted to set up my bed roll by the field Midnight will be in, at least she'll be quieter than that lot.'

When I was done setting up my bed roll and finished unpacking Midnignt along with taking her saddle and blanket off, I heard dinner was ready. I ate my share of what I assumed was a type of stew with a side of sliced bread and jam spread on it. When I finished I grabbed my change of clothes and told Bilbo where I was heading and he asked me if I could take Fili and Kili their food so he could eat before there wasn't any left since I had already I ate, and of course I accepted. I simply tied Midnights lead to my waist, tucked my clothes I'm my sachel and carried a bowl in each hand and walked towards the field and pens. When I got there however both brothers where pacing and looked worried. "What's wrong?" I questioned softly.

"Oh um nothing really." Fili grumbled. "Where supposed to be watching over the ponies, and problem is there's supposed to be sixteen." Kili said quickly "But there's only fourteen." Fili sighed. "But don't worry we'll find out what happened to them and get them back." Kili finished. "What?" I gasped, almost dropping there food. Shoving the bowls of food into their chests I turn around and start taking Midnight back to camp. "Wait lass, don't go telling everyone the ponies are missing just yet, I'll get the ponies back no worries. Me and Kili saw a fire farther up into the valley, were certain that's where the ponies are."

I walked closer to camp with Midnight in tow, Fili grabbed my arm "Please lass I'm begging ya." I shook his arm off and he gave me a hurt look while I just walked her to a tree far away from the others so she would be safe. "I wasn't going to, but I think it would be a better idea to have everyone confronting these thieves." I muttered quietly. "Yes but Thorin would have my head over this, I'd never hear the end of it." "Y/n? Y/n? Are you still over here?" Bilbo shouted. "Oi she is." Kili yelled back. Soon Bilbo came out of the treeline. "Why didn't you come back to the camp? Are you trying to find herbs up here or are those two keeping you?"

"Oh good, as our official burglar, Daisy and Bungo are missing. We thought you might want to look into it." "Wait, um okay. Well it looks like something big uprooted these trees. Something very big and possibly quite dangerous." Bilbo said sounding distraught and startled. "Hey there's a light. Over here." He waved me and Kili over. "Stay down." Kili whispered. As we neared the source of the light we can hear laughter and some sort of being talking. "What, what is it?" Bilbo asked. "Trolls." was all Kili growled out making us all fall silent. Kili jumped over the fallen tree we where behind and started running towards the light source Fili ran after him, so I followed.

Bilbo went back and retrived their food they left behind before catching up to us but before he reached us a troll came out of the treeline carrying two of the ponies. Fili grabs me and pushes me down further behind the fallen tree we where hiding behind. Bilbo and Kili are behind their own tree's not to far away. The troll was walking towards where the fire is holding the two ponies under his arms. "Well that confirms that it was in fact a troll who stole our ponies, now how do we get them back undetected." Fili whispers. "He has Minty." Bilbo hisses. The troll stops and looks at our log.

Fili grabs me around my waist his hand on my soft belly and pulls me close, I'm basically nestled into his side trying to hide from the troll. I feel like my face is on fire, I gulp and try to wiggle away. "Stay still lass or he'll find us." He hissed barely audible at me. Trying to be quiet, when he looked at me and noticed my embarrassment and discomfort and yet he just smirked slightly. The troll lost interest and walked away out of site with the ponies. The coast was clear but Fili hadn't let go. He stands up taking me with him, his hand falling to my hip and giving it a slight squeeze. Bilbo clears his throat making Fili let go of me, but my blush won't fade. I have my head lowered and fiddle with my hands trying to look anywhere but the men around me, thoroughly embarrassed.

"We have to do something." Bilbo whisper shouts. "Yes you should, Mountian trolls are slow and stupid, and your so small they will never see you. It's perfectly safe, and we'll be right behind you." Kili announced clapping Bilbo on his back. "Yes and if you run into trouble whoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl." Fili finished pushing Bilbo towards the path to the trolls campsite. Fili turns around facing me and says. "Okay Y/n I need you to stay put right here so you can go and alert the others in case we need help, and if and when you do I want you to get your horse and take off for cover a ways away from camp staying safe until we come find you." "But I can help. I can stay hidden and safe but have your backs as well by shooting my bow from behind the cover of the tree's." I argued quietly and meekly. "Y/n lass I'd rather you be far away from the trolls, and the fight between us and them if it comes to that, so there's no way you can possibly get hurt."

"Alright that's fine I guess. When do I know if I need to get the others for help?" I questioned softly and unsurely. "We'll yell for ya to go get Thorin and everyone if it turns bad." Kili said. "Now go and get your horse then come back to us but don't get to close, only close enough to hear us yell and then ride your horse as fast as possible to Thorin and the company. After that you need to go hide away at a safe distance where the trolls won't be able to find ya. Got that lass?" Fili finished giving me a stern and slightly concerned look. "Yeah." I sighed out and turned around and started walking back towards Midnight.

'I'll help by getting Thorin and the company, but I won't go run and hide. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to come on this adventure.' Set with my decision I started to plan what I was going to do to help if a fight breaks out. 'I can't exactly run in there with a sword and start swinging like the dwarves will. I'm not skilled in swordsmanship at all, but I can shoot my bow and arrow and almost never miss.' 'If I can get on top of one of the ridges or hills of the valley close and above the trolls I'll have the best shot and chance of doing any real damage to the massive creatures.' I made sure the remaining ponies where saddled and loaded up with all their supplies and that they all had leads on so if need be I can attach them six together and then attach six to each side of Midnight and run them and myself to a safer location.

Soon after I retrieved Midnight I lead her back up to camp and packed everything up and saddled her and her packs up and was almost unnoticed but of course Thorin saw and walked up to me. "What are you doing lass? Shouldn't she be out in the pasture with the ponies grazing and resting. Unless there's something wrong that your not telling me?" "Trolls took four of the ponies and now Bilbo is trying to get them back from them undetected and Fili and Kili are waiting by in case he needs help."

I squeaked out so quickly I was stammering over my words and jumbling them together. Thorin let out a deep sigh pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Well where just going to have to go and see if they do indeed need our help taking down these trolls, which I'm sure they do by now." "Come everyone and bring your weapons we have some trolls to slay tonight!" He yelled with confidence and conviction in his voice not a worry in the world about defeating these trolls.

After they raced of out of sight I finished packing up Midnight and rode towards the trolls camp, going a longer way to get up on a hill behind them. When I reached them and had a clear view it was a terrifying scene. The trolls had every single dwarf in burlap sacks up to there neck some where in a pile while the others where tied onto a roasting stick above a huge campfire being turned by one of the trolls. Bilbo was in a sack as well but he was standing and talking to the trolls. 'This is bad, very bad. What am I supposed to do now? Maybe I can shoot and aim for there eyes and redirect their attention towards me.'

I aim for the troll who started yelling something all Bilbo as he stomps towards him and the dwarves. 'Here goes nothing.' It was a perfect shot the arrow pierced the trolls eye. "Yes!" I whispered excitedly. The trolls screaming stumbling back holding his hands over his eye, the other two race up and huddle around him trying to help the other troll.

The trolls are still distracted but I know it won't last long so I shoot another arrow into the side of another trolls eye, he screams in agony and cups his face like the first. The third troll looks towards me on the hill yells something unintelligible and launges towards my hiding spot I shoot fast and miss. I shoot again and it's another miss he's almost reached me I shoot one last time and this time I puntured one of his eyes so he's blinded and distracted as well.

The third troll although partially blind is still reaching and climbing towards me. 'Time to go!' I hop on Midnight and I'm about to race off towards the other side of the hill when I hear a shout "The dawn will take you all!" 'Gandalf?' I whip my head around trying to find where he is or at least where the voice was coming from. The giant boulder to my left cracks in half and the sun from dawn shines onto the trolls turning them into stone I look on top of the boulder and there stands Gandalf. The dwarves all shout with joy at being saved.

I smile and look down towards the dwarves and start taking Midnight down the hill towards them. Once I'm down I dismount and started untying the dwarves on the ground while Gnadalf puts out the fire and unties Bilbo they start untying the dwarves on the make shift roasting stick.

Each dwarf said their thanks as I finished untying them one by one until the last dwarf to untie was Fili I was hoping one of the others would untie him because I already know he's going to be angry with me for staying and fighting in my own way when he told me to leave and hide. "So lass you where the one shooting the arrows I presume?" "Yes." I mumbled softly while untying him. Once he was free he stood with a frown on his face and signed out his nose. "I recall telling you to stay as far away as possible." "You did but if it's in my power to help then I will." I said softly but with conviction in my voice.

"That's fine and understandable when your life wasn't in danger that troll almost reached you, if Gandalf arrived and cracked that boulder even a minute later who knows what that troll would have done Y/n! You could have been killed!" His voice slowly raised and everyone was discretely listening in and watching. "So could have all of you. I'm fine and so is everyone else, I can handle myself if you didn't notice." I whisper shouted with my face heating from anger and embarrassment of being treated like I'm some foolish child. I walked off towards Midnight.

"Gandalf I'm going to retrieve the rest of the ponies I'll be back please await my return." I said meekly. "Of course child we'll be here but then we need to head off again." "Figured as such." I rode off upset and frustrated. 'I know I put myself in danger but I had no choice I wasn't going to stand by while they where possibly getting killed, or worse eaten. I thought Fili would have been at least a little bit nicer or happy that I could protect myself.' I sigh sadly and break midnight into a gallup from a trot. It didn't take me very long to reach the ponies I attach six to each side like I prepped for and start trotting them back towards everyone at the trolls camp. When I arrived Fili and Thorin where arguing.

"Thats just isn't how you go about things, I raised you better than that, and you know how to start a courtship! If your interested then start one instead of trying to boss your interest around it won't work you'll only drive them further away." Fili was about to retort but when I can into view all went silent and instead he stormed off towards the other ponies that where stolen. 'What was all that about? Why was Thorin lecturing Fili on courting? Does he have a love interest?'

My sour mood worsened slightly. 'I wonder who the lucky lady is? I knew I shouldn't have fathomed the idea of us two, it was just a silly crush there's no way a prince would be interested in a half blooded hobbit if how he treats Bilbo is any indication of how much he likes us hobbits.'

"Trolls can't travel in day light so there must be a cave near by." Gandalf announced. 'I guess that's where we'll be heading.' We rode for a short ways and where nearing the trolls cave. Once we arrived at the trolls cave the dwarves tied the ponies while I tied Midnight so they won't wander or get spooked off. Once they entered the cave a pungent smell wafted up reaching my nose from outside where I'm watching over the ponies and Midnight even from afar it was horrendous. "Whats that stinch?" One of the dwarves asks speaking my exact thoughts. "Its a troll horde, be careful what you touch." There conversation dwindles down and the further they go the less I can hear.

"Well girl I guess it's just you me and the ponies." I say as I reach into a pack and start checking her over one of her shoes came undone and her hooves need to be trimmed down some I haven't had much of a chance to tend to her hooves lately. 'Sorry my sweet girl.' I'll check the ponies hooves once I'm done with Midnight though they don't have shoes on so I'm assuming as long as there's no cracks or splitters anywhere on them they shouldn't need any work done like the annual trimming Midnight requires. I gave her some grain as a snack before I start working on her feet so she doesn't get moody with me.

By the time I trimmed and put new shoes on all four of Midnights hooves they dwarves emerged from the cave Thorin first looking incredibly angry and then the others followed last to come out of the cave was Bilbo carrying what looked with him holding it a half sword but I'm certain that its a dagger. 'Strange Bilbo would never use a weapon or even think of it, I wonder why he has that?' I'll check the ponies hooves this evening when there put in a pasture to eat and rest. "Alright let's head off where wasting daylight!" Thorin shouted. I pet Midnight as I untie her and put her reigns on packing the lead away, I then mount her stearing her towards the others whom have just finished mounting their ponies and horse as well.

Gandalf and Thorin lead the way from the cave back towards our route. I stayed behind the others still upset from what happened and what I over heard earlier that morning. We rode for hours until it was almost dusk and then Gandalf called for us to setup camp I walked Midnight to the makeshift enclosed pasture after I unloaded her of her packs and saddle except two with my change of clothes the necessities to bathe and my equipment for the ponies hooves at the stream near the pasture. I also left her saddle blanket on because it's been getting really chilly at night even though her breed is built for the cold I still worry. After she was settled with the others I went and started to check everyone's hooves before I'd bathe, they tolerated me messing with there feet well and only the two pack ponies needed some splitters filed away which only took a moment.

"Y/n I'm plenty capable of watching over the ponies and Midnight despite what happened last night, should rest lo-lass." He stuttered and a blush tinted his ears. 'What was he about to say? Sounded like he was going to call me love. But that can't be true.' I flushed slightly. "I know you can but, I wanted to check everyone's hooves and bathe by the creek." The last words coming out no louder than a meek whisper, though Fili clearly had no trouble hearing what I said by the full flush crawling up his face. He coughed "Well um alright I'll go back to camp and make sure no one bothers you, I'll come check on you periodically by calling your name from behind the tree cover over there alright, but if you don't respond back I'm coming over here and looking for ya alright lass?"

"Yeah that's fine." I squeaked out, avoiding his gaze and grabbing the packs off of Midnight as Fili walked back towards camp once he's out of view I lay a blanket down and wrap another around my shoulders and strip of my clothing using the cloth and soap I have to wash up the waters to cold to be submerged in the water fully or even partly. ' It feels so good to scrub all the dirt, sweat, and grime off its been awhile since I last bathed I know I must reak.' I sigh blissfully even though I'm freezing at least I'm getting clean.

I scrubbed my entire body except the hard to reach parts on my back, I first pulled any debris out of my hair and comes through it with my hands then I had to bend down my belly squishing up against my chubby thighs in order to wash the dirt and grease out of my hair in the creek. The bubbling creek was soothing and calming even as cold as it was, I looked around my surroundings again before dipping my whole head under to wash all the soap away. I repeated this several times until I was certain my hair was grease and grime free, yanking my head up the last time making my hair fling back I gasped in a breathe winded from the cold water.

I screamed and covered myself when a hand landed on my bare shoulder only my legs and thighs exposed until I curled them under myself and curled up into myself slightly trying to hide myself. "Y/n lass, calm down it's just me Fili I called three times and you didn't answer I didn't mean to frighten ya but you frightened me by not answering." I peaked up at Fili my face and chest flushed. I mumbled a few incoherent words, not be able to respond because of my embarrassment. 'I can't believe Fili just saw me so exposed like this, he's probably disappointed with what he saw.' "If your done washing up, and once your finished getting dressed as an apology for frightening you and be so hard on ya this morning, I'll braid your hair for you once you are done." He mumbled out with his own embarrassment showing on his face though he had a dazed expression. He walked a ways a away so I could have some privacy.

I dressed quickly I was finished bathing anyways though the interuption destroyed the calmness I was feeling it was now replaced with anxious embarrassment my heart is racing uncontrollably and my hands are shaking as I dress and put my socks and shoes on. 'I can't believe I didn't hear him call not even once, I knew he would check up on me why didn't I listen for him, it's my fault.' I packed up the dirty clothes and hung up the wet blankets so they could dry and I'll wash the clothes later. I walked towards the middle of the field where Fili was sitting with his back facing me playing with something in his hands, with the last dry blanket I had was wrapped around my shoulders.

"You never did answer if you would accept my apology by braiding your hair for you. You don't have to accept Y/n if you don't want to." "No it's alright I accept your apology and if you want I wouldn't mind you braiding my hair." I mumbled looking at my feet on dew damp grass. "Well then sit down in front of me lass." I sat down partly on my blanket as to not sit on the damp grass and get my clothes damp. I handed him my brush and tie, pulling the blanket tighter around myself still cold and embarrassed. He brushed through my hair and combed through it with his fingers if I didn't know any better I'd say he was playing with my hair, either way it felt nice I was leaning into his touch subconsciously.

He started to braid my hair in an interact design putting in small colored ribbons and dwarven embroidered metal clasps here and there. When he finished I was disappointed because I was enjoying the affectionate jester and knew that this would likely not happen again. "There you go, all done. Now before we go back to camp and get some rest since it's Kili's turn to watch over the ponies for sure by now. Let's eat, I know you left before the food was ready and if I didn't bring any down here away from those lot there wouldn't even be a drop of food left for ya."

He finished lifting up his spare coat that was lying on the grass showing two big bowls of stew and a whole loaf of bread. I turned around so I was facing Fili and just looking at the food made me realise how hungry I really was, my stomach growled loudly. I blushed and put my head down muttering a small "Thank you." "Your welcome Y/n but it was no problem really the hard part was sneaking a whole loaf of bread away." He said with a hearty chuckle handing me the stew after he tore the loaf of bread in half and set it in the bowl. He dug right in, I looked at him with appreciation and a goofy smile on my face and then started eating. 'Today wasn't so bad after all.'