#i have tomorrow off so we’ll see how much i can power thru !!!

[jinstronaut]

i don’t owe anyone this but sry for the inactivity — life is indeed lifing!

[locktobre]

bcbd thoughts

right away I see that this is only an hour long, so... it’s not a movie, then. it’s a one hour special, again. I feel like I’m already gonna miss the extra 20 minutes just like dolphin magic but we’ll see I guess. maybe it’ll be a mercy that it’s shorter.

the opening credits/dream sequence was nice. the animation on the city is decent, and the monochrome thing was kind of cool.

her being on stage reminded me a little of Eden, and then immediately I missed Eden so much. they would never let a version of Babs be a bitch now and that’s such a shame.

so now we’re joking about George tracking Barbie’s cell phone? bc that’s fine and not at all an invasion of privacy or anything. also, you can check flight statuses on the internet so that’s really not necessary. also, why the fuck didn’t Barbie call them once she got off the plane? or at least text? I always text or call my mom when I land, and frankly I’m not even as close to my mom as Barbie claims to be to her parents. and I did that when I was 17 traveling alone, too, so it’s not just something I do as an adult. it’s part of the responsibility of traveling to let ppl know that you got somewhere safe so they don’t worry about you. what the fuck Babs.

was that honking supposed to be like censoring the cabbie swearing bc I would love that. let the cabbie say fuck.

I still maintain that this “summer program” thing is bullshit and Babs should have been going off to college. I know they won’t let her grow up but it makes more sense than this does. also, you’re telling me there’s no summer programs for acting/whatever in LA? seriously? she HAD to go across the country for this? and her parents let her? they don’t even trust her! they said that 2 seconds ago! or is tracking her cell phone the reason she’s allowed to travel across the country (to Willows and Florida and Hawaii) by herself in the first place? I hate this I hate it so much already

The Handler Arts Academy... oh I’m feeling emotions

“luck’s got nothing to do with it. you worked your tail off for this” SHOW ME FOR WHEN, PLEASE. this could have been an actual arc of the show, a goal Barbie was working towards that could thread thru multiple episodes... but no. this came out of nowhere. I’m STILL saying that Amelia bought Barbie’s place here bc FUCK YOU SHOW

“I hope I’m good enough” you’re a mediocre rich white woman, you can do literally anything you want.

why is her guitar shoved in a cardboard box and not, idk, in a guitar case? that’s stupid. also, that’s an open cardboard box, so how did that travel on the plane? a closed cardboard box, fine. should be a suitcase, but fine. but this just makes no sense and I am not going to let it slide bc I hate this continuity and everything about it.

however, I will give Brooklyn a pass for the open cardboard box bc she literally lives in NYC and didn’t have to take a fucking plane to get here. she can carry it like that if she wants.

“as long as you don’t break [my leg], we’re good” I’ve already seen Brooklyn in a cast, so... does Malibu literally break her leg later on? even on accident... jesus christ.

is this Russian(?) custodian lady gonna be the antagonist/villain? bc I’m already not vibing with that. not at fucking all.

how the FUCK could they show up a day early? why would they not show up on the day they’re supposed to? that doesn’t make any sense! and if they’re NOT supposed to be there yet, then there would be no staff there to watch them, so they should have to come back tomorrow! they shouldn’t be allowed to be by themselves in a school like this! I’m assuming this is to facilitate a day of bonding without stupid things like classes in the way, but they could have written an orientation day or something in that would have made more sense, and as I said, I am not inclined to give them a pass on anything these days. fuck you all.

so, room assignments are alphabetical... I guess that kind of explains them being in the same room, altho it does feel coincidental that they wouldn’t be, like, in neighboring rooms. also they didn’t animate little signs on the other doors, even with nonsense text if they didn’t want to put other names up, so their door really sticks out for no reason. also, shouldn’t it say “Barbie Roberts & Barbie Roberts” or some other way of having both names on the door? also, if the school knows they have the same name, couldn’t they put middle initials or something? we know Malibu is Barbie M. Roberts, and I will generously assume that Brooklyn’s middle name is something else, so that would have been fine. this really feels like the administrators don’t give a fuck, and in a supposedly prestigious school, I don’t buy that.

so, Brooklyn has been training every summer in different programs, very intensely, to get in here... and Malibu trained on the internet. what have I been saying about Malibu’s white mediocrity? hmm?

even after that (lackluster) montage, it feels way too soon for “Before Us.” I don’t believe they’re best friends who warrant a song about their friendship. I don’t believe that at all.

I like the bald fashionista being on the billboard, that’s a nice touch.

Malibu bringing up her vlog like that gives me hives. she has already stated multiple times that she does that to help ppl, not for clout, and yet. here she is. being a fake ass bitch once again.

Brooklyn and Emmie’s story is already way more interesting than this and I’m pissed that’s just backstory.

LOVE that green-haired dude. idk where you’re going with that drum but godspeed my dude.

I’m assuming that’s Emmie incognito in the back, but... what’s she doing here if she’s already famous? pulling an Erika Juno?

Dean Morrison seems cool

(is it too early to ship Brooklyn x Emmie?)

if pets are allowed in this school, I’m SHOCKED Malibu didn’t bring Taffy. truly fucking shocked.

Rafa reminds me so much of Jacques Rousseau

“the only labels we believe in are designer” so Rafa’s gay, right? Barbie’s first gay character? I can only assume

the ballet thing still doesn’t make sense to me, if their goal is to be on Broadway. ballet is an entire art and discipline in itself.

fencing makes more sense, bc stage fighting is a thing.

‘work it’ is even funnier than I imagined. Malibu you’re such a fuck up. and I can’t even cut you some slack bc earlier you said your training was “internet.” you didn’t work for this and you don’t belong here. die.

if this was PCS, Malibu would have been kicked out already. YOU WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS. WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING FOR MONTHS.

so, the ‘work it’ montage clearly showed the passage of time, it’s been at least a week, and... Malibu hasn’t talked to Ken at all during that time? this is the first time she’s telling him about Brooklyn?

ok, confirmed to be a week. and she hasn’t talked to Ken. of course. they are so close of course she hasn’t talked to him in a week, especially when she’s been struggling so much and would need to vent to a friend about it. of course.

so, Emmie is pulling an Erika Juno. at least she’s in disguise.

jesus christ, they’re really having Emmie be exploited by her own father??? JESUS.

ok Brooklyn x Emmie is sailing.

Brooklyn’s mom is an airline pilot, that sounds cool.

so the dresses are powered by the magic of friendship? cool. that’s stupid.

of COURSE Emmie’s dad is the board member. jesus christ I hate this dude.

okay, so she DIDN’T break her leg, it’s only a sprain. thank god. poor green-haired drum dude.

saying “epic fail” in 2021 unironically is not cool, mattel. unless I’m even more out of touch with the youth than I thought, but I’m pretty sure about that.

wait, so Brooklyn was dancing... and now she’s on crutches again? what is this montage? they fucked up here.

of all things to kick Malibu out for, they’re saying she pushed Brooklyn? why not all the fuck ups in her first week?

also, Rafa was taping that class so how do they not bring that up immediately? that’s the whole reason they were dancing over there in the first place! (so he might not have caught anything, but still, I have to assume that’s going to fix this bc that’s what these movies do.)

I really like Malibu’s leather jacket look, but she does look a little bit old I think. Brooklyn’s leggings look is nice, too.

okay, so Brooklyn suddenly believes the unnamed witness over the girl she sang ‘before us’ with? okay. I told you this friendship was a crock of shit. they don’t trust each other at all! Brooklyn should have been angry when she first fell, and it builds to thinking that she was sabotaged, but she brushed it off... and now she’s pissed. that makes no sense.

this friendship breakup song also means nothing to me bc their friendship fell apart for such a stupid reason. fate didn’t tear you apart, you tore yourselves apart by not trusting each other. stupid little children.

if Brooklyn’s ankle isn’t completely healed aka still painful, she should not be dancing on it, she could injure herself more or at least prolong the healing process.

ok, so NOW, after Malibu has already been expelled and sent back home, they remembered the video. these kids are so fucking stupid. and of COURSE the unnamed witness is Mr Miller! Emmie, you ALREADY KNOW that your dad is shady as shit and wants you to get the Spotlight Solo! HOW DID YOU NOT PUT THIS TOGETHER IN 5 SECONDS? I DID

so, Mr Miller thought Malibu was Emmie’s biggest competition for the solo? Malibu, the spectacular fuck up? not Brooklyn? or any of the background extras? I refuse to fucking believe that. I REFUSE.

how did George and Margaret just let Malibu get expelled without flying out there to fight the charge? seriously?

how is is Brooklyn singing ‘before us’ in-universe such that Malibu recognizes it? you’re breaking the conventions of musicals! I don’t get this!

I like Brooklyn’s mom being a pilot less after it’s been used to facilitate this bullshit part of the plot.

again, just “Barbie Roberts” makes no sense. where’s a middle initial to differentiate them! SOMETHING! I know they’re doing the finale together, but still, it’s STUPID.

shipping Rafa x green-haired drummer dude bc I can

where’s the Emmie doll for this movie?????? I’m so disappointed. also the other outfits, the leather jacket and leggings ones, I swear those weren’t dolls either. what the fuck

I see more fashionistas on billboards at the end! I really like that

so the custodian wasn’t a villain... then why that introduction for her? that went nowhere

is “Big City Big Dreams” supposed to be Emmie’s song? that Malibu lips-synced to on her vlog (apparently)? I can’t tell by the voice and they don’t list the voices for the songs in the credits

overall, once again it largely made no sense. idk if it would have benefitted from 20 extra minutes of screentime bc nothing really happened.

also, what the fuck happened to Mr Miller? he just keeps on exploiting his daughter? and for that matter, what happened to Emmie’s mom? bc she lived with her, and then all of the sudden her dad was in her life again and exploiting her, so... what did mom die? did he kill her? what am I supposed to think? and Emmie’s STILL stuck in that situation? girl. what the fuck

also of course they were too cowardly to confirm anything about Rafa. of course.

[themagichour]

This day. This night. This year. I just got off the phone with the sweetest woman at my car insurance company — she told me I’m 1 of the strongest women she’s ever “met”, and that she was so happy she took my call — that she was going to clock out for the night, but had decided to take 1 more. She was working from home, so we talked for 15 minutes at the end of the call about the good in humanity… can’t even explain it, it was just so lovely. I had 5 kind patients and so many kind coworkers today. I don't remember the faces of those who yelled and swore at me, only those of that Kind 5. One woman born in '42, slow and somehow elegant in her bumbling and in her fuchsia lipstick and golden glitter blush. A thick Russian accent as a smile spread at my adoration of her paint:

“Thank you! Fun!"

"It's very fun!”

I got carjacked at gunpoint 1 month ago and was left with 1 broken rib and more PTSD to add to the pile. After 14 days my insurance considered my car a “total loss”, which meant I had to transfer the power of attorney to them — but it’s taken so long to process that it’s only just set to go through tomorrow. The Other Insurance Woman who’s been working my case comes in at 7, so I’m going to call her immediately. Don’t think I’m going to get any sleep. I feel like I’m going to pass out. But I feel good, and strong despite that. So we’ll see if I can stop that going through… I’m hoping so badly I can. At the same time, it’ll be okay if I can't. I do worry Yeetis the Yaris will trigger me… if that’s the case, I’ll sell it. But we’ll see. I know that sounds crazy. But the same nightmare visits me: Myself in the driver's seat, the hands of my carjacker on the wheel. I circle back around the block to watch myself scream for help in the parking lot. My phone hasn't been thrown out the window yet. A song plays over Bluetooth:

Children, have you ever met the Bogeyman before? No, of course you haven't, for you're much too good, I'm sure. Don't you be afraid of him if he should visit you. He's a great big coward, so I'll tell you what to do: Hush, hush, hush. Here comes the Bogeyman! Don't let him come too close to you, he'll catch you if he can.

All this to say, I'd found a voicemail. Yeetis had been found. I went out to drive Craig the Rental Hyundai Elantra home — whom I'd traded Axel the Douchebag Rental Mustang for — and he was gone. I knew exactly where I'd parked him, because I park him in view of the pharmacy drive-thru window. I knew I’d locked him, because I check 3 times that I have. Assumed he was stolen… luckily my Mom had come over, so I called her and she came to pick me up. The 2 of us completely floored and just plain laughing. Didn’t occur to either of us that it could’ve been towed. I went back into the pharmacy and one of my coworkers said it probably had been, and to ask the people at the front. Front People had no record of any towings, and not 1 of the cameras points to where Craig was parked. But Coworker said she saw 1 tow truck with a certain surname name on it at 1 point during the night and remembered it because those Certain-Surnamers get their meds from our pharmacy and they’re total pains in the ass.

Called the towing company, who had Craig. He was towed because people in the apartments next door keep parking in the area where I was parked. Why they decided I was one of those people, I don’t know. I had to get to the lot before 12 and show proof of employment, or I’d be charged. Employee discount card came in the mail today, and it’s the 1 proof of employment I have — called work back and Night Pharmacist 2 said they could call there if it wasn’t enough. Towing Guy was great, said my proof wasn’t proof enough, but that he believed me and my story “checked out”. Spent 1 hour there, half of it sitting in a flashing and idling tow truck with a Driver who told me all about how insane his job is. How they have to tow “fatals” every day, cars people have died in. And lots of other crazy things, crazy stories. Another meaningful human interaction.

Got Craig back, drove home. Called Detective, who was still at the station, while my Mom called insurance. Detective said Other Detective will call me in the morning, and that the only damage appears to be a shattered windshield and 4 windows. Though who knows if parts were taken out, or what. He was very kind.

Hung up with him and joined my Mom on that insurance call with that Sweet Woman. And that’s that for this day and night….…… jesus christ, man.

Here's hoping I don’t just faint tomorrow or something???? I need to be at work at 1. But have to call Other Insurance Lady at 7 and Other Detective at 8, because I'm not waiting for either of them to call me. It's nearly 4.

Oh my god. Anyway, I have to eat something because all I’ve eaten today are 2 granola bars and 1 piece of flatbread pizza. I need to figure out how to eat better on this job. And remember to drink water. Because I will seriously faint at this rate if not. Only drank 1 bottle of water between 10 and 10, only peed 2 times. Gotta love a 15-minute lunch break 6 hours late amid 8 hours of filling 900 prescriptions for 895 angry people.

I'm not sure how I feel about counting pills. But I’m counting my blessings. I'm getting better at numbers.

[bladekindeyewear]

Bloggin’ thru new Homestuck^2 bonus, The Influencers part 2.  Kinda got my gears ground during part 1, but that largely wasn’t this sideplot’s fault, so I should still be able to enjoy it.

Reminder, bonus update blogging is always light on detail because I don’t wanna spoil all the paid content, but I’ll give the gist of my reactions and go into anything plot or character related that helps understand the main story, as well as giving you a real top-down view of “what happens” so you know what it’s about and whether or not to invest in looking yourself.  (And I don’t necessarily have to give you anything that isn’t main-plot-relevant.)

So where are they going to follow the main party?  They shouldn’t need to record the funeral I’d assume, because that already would have been televised (and awful for Jane’s PR)...  *click*

9/28/2020 - The Influencers, Part 2

TEACHER: Time’s a-ticking. TEACHER: The next plot point is yours to change, if you want it. Don’t you feel it calling to you?

Yeah, just hanging a lampshade on this whole parallel sideplot I guess.

> (==>)

Whatever it is, Imode feels it. A tiny string of relevance spooling out from their belly. They want to follow it.

That’s pretty Lighty and/or Seery.  I’ve used that terminology to describe the pull of Light and its “relevance” connotations even since the only fanfic I’ve ever written, back in 2011 during Homestuck’s run, and it’s obvious enough terminology that I think Rose later mentioned it somewhere like in the Epilogues.  Are these three kids perhaps going to get a fourth, and become their own session by the end of this like Harry, Vrissy, Tavros and Yiffy might?

They can’t stop picturing their friend, Harry Anderson, arrested or tortured or worse. They’re not sure what there is to be done to stop this chain of events, but they’re sure as shit gonna find out.

(”They” is almost certainly referring to Imode here, not all three, since Imode uses they/them.)

Alright, self-aggrandizing used for good.  Show off the sort of thing that Vriska could have accomplished if she actually used her talents for her team for once.  (Besides, like, the similar thing she did just recently by making a scene.)

> (==>)

Imode is the first to choose pursuing this path over bootlicking, and the others are sure to follow.

> (==>)

Yup, Avril and Silas follow.  (Had to be reminded of ALL of their names, it’s been months since their single named appearance.)

> (==>)

Crockercopters overhead but none taking note yet, just ominous setdressing

> (==>)

IMODE: lemme take a ⏱️ to 😮‍💨 before we figure out where to go next. AVRIL: wait don't you know? IMODE: Huh? AVRIL: we were following YOU this whole time.

Oh, that answers the first question I asked.  They have NO clue where they’re going.  Let’s see if they luck out and find the clock tower.

IMODE: You 👂 what he said about the next step 📞 to us, same as i did. Don't you feel it pulling at you?

Literal pull? Powers? Future player?  --All baseless speculation of course.

SILAS: Woah are you seein’ this.

Vriska’s probably putting on her very public display now.  (This is a bonus so I’m skipping lots of banter and arguing.)

> (==>)

Oh, they just saw John flying up to the clock tower in his outfit.  And catching sight of him fly is rare celebrity gossip stuff so of course it’d stand out to them, apparently.  (Only one of them is athletic apparently, the other two are groaning at the prospect of more running.)

> (==>)

Avril always enjoys running, but there’s something else thumping along to the rhythm of the thuds of his feet and beat of his heart. He’d thought Imode was nuts for feeling it just a minute prior, but now he’s realized he isn’t deadweight, that he hasn’t fucked up someone’s life irrevocably, and it pushes him faster and faster as he tears ass toward the belltower.

(Did we know Avril was he/him before this?  Probably but if so I forgot.)

Okay, since we’re getting glimpses into each of their headspaces narratively that BOTH have had some oblique aspect references, I have to at least OPERATE on a guessy assumption that there’s a sort of classpect-for-each-of-them thing going here.

I’ve quoted both those whole paragraphs here... so what do I see?  This is going to be a bit tougher because I don’t care as much to remember these characters...

Imode had some Lighty-or-Seery language, and then could not stop picturing bad things happening to Harry, wanting to avert that chain of events.  So something of a Seer or Mage would make sense.  But given how easily Lighty stuff and the Understanding classes (or at least what we think those are) can be conflated, Mage of Light seems a bit of a premature jump.  Heck, I’m only saying Mage because a Seer of Light already occupies a starring role, and because her first act on that feeling was to jump after it herself and tell the others:

IMODE: Stay here and 👢👅 your way into fame if that's what you really want. IMODE: I’m ✈️. Follow me if you’re not 🐔💩.

--leading by example rather than directing the others into battle.  Only half-caring if they followed, willing to pursue it herself if necessary.  So, potentially more “Active”.

As for Avril... the word “heart” is mentioned there, sure, but the full context is “there’s something else thumping along to the rhythm of the thuds of his feet and beat of his heart”.  I’m inclined to think that the rhythm/beat references, especially the even footsteps and heartbeats hitting like a metronome, might be more tied to Time?  But if so, I don’t see anything class-related.  (Could also be Blood, and him thinking of what he owes in the last sentences could be reinforcing that?  Big question marks for now.)

> (==>)

Door to the belltower’s locked.  The kids figure John’s forgotten that his son can’t fly.

AVRIL: this is it, this is the thing we can help with! #feelinit #vibes IMODE: OK I'm excited that you believe me now, but what are you gonna even do? IMODE: use your big all-star 💪 to break down the 🚪?

--so they think they can “resolve a missing plot point” by getting the way into the clock tower open?  Is this going to be a theme or running joke of the Influencers sideplot, showing plotholes resolved in bonus content like how we finally saw how Gamzee’s body was relocated last time?  When I was explicitly mad about that?  (This seems like a much smaller one though.)

Apparently in HS^2 proper they remarked that the door SHOULD be locked, but Vriska just opened it anyway and wasn’t surprised it was unlocked, which she would’ve ascribed to her luck -- how the universe just makes way for her.  (And we’re literally seeing HOW the “universe” “made way” for her this way, through these Influencer kids.  Even though Vriska could have broken down the door in a second and it’s practically meaningless.)

> (==>)

Avril just has the key!

AVRIL: so like my photoshoots are like, #modernfashion #myworkout #urbexp IMODE: Yea, your 📸 are why we’re all in this mess. We know. Get to it. AVRIL: fair. ok well this is the urban exploration part. AVRIL: a lot of the public infrastructure buildings in the kingdom have the same weird, shitty deadbolts on them. AVRIL: its like they were mass-produced for ease of access or something. AVRIL: none of the deep crockergov stuff, but a lot of the kingdom maintenance buildings. AVRIL: so once you swipe one key, you got access to it all. AVRIL: that’s how i get a lot of my hard-to-get shots #tradesecrets #tellnoone

Hhhmmmmm.  So what does this tell us about his potential role?  Getting places you’re not supposed to is associated with the Thief, Rogue, Bard, and sometimes Knight classes... as well as the Time/Space aspects, or the Void and Breath aspects.  A Thief or Rogue of Time could do the trick, and fit with the rhythm paragraph earlier... whereas Space doesn’t have the same rhythm associations even if it is “places” he’s getting into for these shots.  And photography, snapshots still in time, is something Dave was also explicitly into.  Plus, this exploit he’s showcasing is specifically for older buildings, playing into history/archaeology from an urban perspective.

So, Time is looking like a safer and safer bet for him.

> (==>)

lock click

> (==>)

long-hair swoop, cheer

SILAS: Yeah, I’m tickled a near-disproportionate amount by the unlockin’ of a door, so I’m inclined to believe you were onto somethin’.

Still no real hints about Silas, yet.

AVRIL: ok so. we did it, right? #missioncomplete AVRIL: feels a little anticlimactic #tbh IMODE: idk, I think so? whatever I was feeling doesn't seem so immediate anymore. IMODE: I wonder if-

Okay, that’s some near-confirmation that Imode was LITERALLY FEELING the plot or some such.  We’ll probably end the Influencers sidestory eventually with at least solid GUESSES blatantly obvious for their potential Hero Roles or the like.

> (==>)

Ah, Vriska and the kids are coming-- and we get the Silas paragraph(s)!  Silas is green-themed with green text, and a session with a Time player has a good chance of having a Space player too, so let’s see if...

Silas doesn’t know what being spotted by the other kids might mean, metaphysically or logistically or legally. She’s not particularly pressed by that sort of thing. But this is a day that’s come with more introspecting than she’s used to having to endure in a year, so she's ready to get moving before it becomes an issue.

As Harry Anderson, Vrissy, Vriska, and Tavros proceed to have this conversation, Silas pushes to catch up with Avril’s pace. She’s not sure where they’re headed, and has no clue what all this means for her. She knows the step she’s taken isn’t one she’ll be able to backtrack from, but she’ll figure that out tomorrow. For now, one foot in front of the other.

That...

I mean there’s a lot of talk of time-FRAMES, from a lazy perspective, but just-pushing-forward-in-the-here-and-now is reasonably Spacey? ...hm.  I was excited for the Silas paragraph(s) but I don’t see any immediately-apparent pattern meant for us to discern classpect info here.  Maybe a female Page example (since we could use one), propelled along by events without knowing what’s going on at first, too early in her journey to have taken more than her first step up the gradual incline of her long-term potential?

I really don’t know I guess.

Anyway, that’s the end of the bonus upd8!  See ya in a while.

[ehlestina]

you’re one inch away / jaemin

��� jaemin x reader 

☢ fluff, smut, anger, comedy (not really)

─

It’s 6:07 pm, you just finished school since your friend, Lee Jeno needed your help for his exams tomorrow.

“Guess it’s that hard to be smart...” You talked to yourself while walking at the street where you live with your best enemy, Na Jaemin. 

you never wished to be dorm mates with your your ex-crush, it’s never fun. you finally arrived at your dorm, you took a deep breath before entering your unit. 

“You’re here.” A deep voice surprised you as soon as you stepped inside, making you flinch. You ignored his presence.

“Are you really just going to ignore me?” Jaemin asked you, making you stop. You sighed deeply before looking at him who’s looking at you already.

“What do you want, mister I-Don’t-Like-You?” You asked him with one eyebrow raised at him.

“Showing me your bitch attitude won’t make me feel better.” He said, making you laugh sarcastically.

“Do I look like I am making you feel better, you moron?” You said, making him shocked of your words.

“You’d you come home late?” He asked, making you laugh.

“Are you my dad? I went out with Jeno.” You said, trying to make him jealous, you know his weakness.

“Don’t try to make me jealous. We are not a thing.” He said, said, slamming his hand on the wall.

“That hurts, eh?” You said, followed by a chuckle. You run your fingers thru your hair.

“If you’re here to mess up with me, I have no time for your shits, Jaemin.” You said and rolled your eyes at him, going to your bed.

“We’re not yet done arguing, hoe.” He said, pulling you to make you sit down. you sighed.

“Please, Jaemin. Just rest, you must be tired.” You said, looking at him.

“Why did you follow me?” He asked, making you tilt your head. “Eh? Excuse me. I reserved this unit first.” You said while pointing at yourself.

“But why did you let me stay here?” He threw you another question.

“You pity me, don’t you? Or, maybe... you still like me?” He said in a smile, making your stomach upset.

“Sir, Are you drunk?” You asked him with your eyebrows furrowed. Him shaking his head made you angry.

“I still regret writing you the love letter. Never thought you would make fun of me.” You said, making Jaemin smile.

“Remember when you kissed-” You cut him off by throwing a pillow at him.

“Fuck you, Na Jaemin.” You said, Jaemin still laughing his ass, making you frown.

“Look, you even don’t know how to kiss before. Haha!” He said while laughing, making you sigh.

“I know how too. I practiced with Jeno.” You said, making him stop laughing, looking right into your eyes. 

“Jeno, hmm?” He said in a smirk, making you raise your middle finger. “I know that’s cap. Jeno could never kiss you.” He said, making reality slap you real quick.

“What if he really did?” You asked him, making Jaemin giggle.

“Jeno’s type is a girl who is silent, pretty, and smart.” He said, making you nod.

“And that is never you, bitch.” He said, making you laugh. “I know. I am nobody, Jaemin. Thanks for reminding me.” You said, looking down.

“By the way, you said you know how to kiss, right?” He asked you, making you tilt your head.

“I don’t know.” You  replied, making Jaemin approach you.

“Wanna see if you can kiss?” He asked, making you widen your eyes.

“I want to, but if it’s with you then, it’s a no.” You said in a smile, tugging your blanket. You laid down

“Aha, now is my chance.” He said quickly, hoping on top of you.

“Hah, Jaemin. Don’t try me. I hate your small dick.” You said, making him smirk.

“uh-oh, not a good move.” you said to yourself.

“Get off me, Jaemin.” You said and kicked his dick, making him fall off your bed, groaning.

you are still laughing at him, when he suddenly grabbed onto your shirt, pulling you. Making you fall on top of him.

“Sup, baby?” He said while smiling, you slapped him.

“Jaemin stop fooling with me.” You said, trying to stand up, but his grip on your waist is too strong. You tried to resist, but it’s no use.

“No.” He said, making you tired of moving your body, trying to escape his grip.

“JAEMIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.” you said, screaming on the top of your lungs, making Jaemin laugh. “Aww you are really cute. I wish I liked you back.” He said, still looking at you while you were busy trying to resist. “Jaemin, please. I-” He cuts you off by carrying you.

“YOU’RE RAPING ME JAEMIN.” you tried to resist his grip on your leg, but he is too strong.

“damn.” you talked to yourself.

“BDSM?” Jaemin started teasing you as soon as he put you on top of the counter.

“You have tools?!” You asked him with shock, making him laugh and nod.

“Oh god damn. You probably had lots of one night stand.” You said, making him think.

“About... 3.” He said while smirking.

“Ayo that’s... never mind.” You said in a smile.

“Go, ruin me.” You said, making Jaemin widen his eyes.

“I though... you-” You cut him off by kissing him while cupping his cheeks, after a second, you pulled away. 

“Good night, Jaemin.” You said, jumping off the counter when you felt a tight grip on your waist. You looked at Jaemin with lust.

“Want me to get you condo-” He cuts you off by pulling you into a deep kiss. Pushing you yo your bed without breaking the kiss.

“It’s been years since I rejected you, but I still know where your sensitive spot is.” He mumbled while kissing you, going down to your neck.

━

You bobbed your head as Jaemin moans.

“what a music to my ears.” you mumbled, still sucking the hell out of his dick.

“Ahh there, there.” He said, pulling your hair. You’re still gagging because of his length.

“I-I, I’am coming...” He said, with his shakey voice. He threw back his head. you smirk, fastening your pace.

“Just like that, little slut.” He said, followed by his groans, after some seconds, he bursted right into your mouth.

“Wait for me, I’ll get you tissues.” He said, pulling his dick out from your mouth, getting you tissue.

“Here you-” He cut himself off when he saw you playing with his semen, using your mouth.

“I- here spit.” He said handing you the tissue. You gulped and wiped your sweat using the tissue he gave you.

“N-no way...” He said, looking at you.

“Ew I thought semen tastes good.” You said, tasting Jaemin’s semen made your stomach upset.

“I told you to spit it out.” He said, making you nod.

“yes, i’ll listen next time.” You said in a smile.

“Is it unfair that I am the only one who is completely naked here?” He said, making you sigh.

He started undressing you, making you feel so embarrassed. He removed all of your clothing, making you plant your head to the pillow.

“Tsk, stop. You’re beautiful.” He said, making you look at him.

You both collided, the feeling of Jaemin made you feel like fantasy. His kisses are always your cravings.

“Hmm, this is your spot, eh?” He said, thrusting into you harder, making you arch your back.

“Sorry, baby. I’ll not do it again.” He said, stopping his actions. After a minute, he continued to thrust into you.

“Fuck.” You gasped. 

━

“Hey you slut! Faster! We’ll be late!” Jaemin said, almost dragging you at the street.

“Wait, Jaemin! My legs are really weak, hold on.” You said, trying to maintain your balance.

“Eh fuck it.” He said and grabbed your inner thigh, carrying you.

━

“psst, am i good in bed?” He suddenly asked while the both of you are in class.

“really? ask that now?” You asked, making him shake his head while smiling.

━

“I’m home~” He said, entering the dorm.

“Hello Jaem!~” You greeted him with a smile.

“You’re in a good mood eh?” He asked, making you nod continuously.

“Finally, dating my dream guy.” You whispered underneath your breath.

“Tch, finally, dating the girl I hate the most back in middle school.” He said while looking at you. You rolled your eyes.

“Ehmm, there is a kid here.” Renjun cleared his throat.

“Oh yea, I forgot Jisung is here.” Jaemin said while clapping.

“Let’s go now! I am fucking hungry.” Jisung said, making you shocked af.

“Did you just curse, Jisung?!” You said, pointing at Jisung. Jisung looked at Jaemin, letting you know that Jaemin taught him.

“You crazy! What did you tell Jisung, eh?” You said, pinching Jaemin.

“He is a minor you Jaemin!!” Mark said, while laughing.

“Eh quit the noise, i’ll treat y’all.” Jeno said, making you all scream out of happiness because finally, Jeno is treating dinner.

•

“hey you, wake up.” Your sister, Yuna woke you up.

“Eh?” You rubbed your eyes, looking at your surroundings, making you cry out loud.

“MAMAAAAAAA” You screamed while crying, making your mom enter your room.

“Oh!! What is happening in here?!” Your mom asked you with much panic.

“I dreamt about Jaemin.” You said while crying.

“I DREAMT ABOUT AN IDOL DATING ME.” you said, still crying. Yuna laughed at you.

“Aren’t you contented with your sister who is an idol too?” Yuna said, posing infront of you.

“I’LL GO SEE JAEMIN, MOM. I HAVE TOO.” You said, making you look like a psycho.

“how? in your dreams.” your mom said jokingly, making you sadder.

“yes, i know. i am just a fan but, Yuna. I am your older sister. Make me see Jaemin. Use your power.” You said, making mom and Yuna laugh.

“C’mon! At least you will not be useless anymore. Go, give me Jaemin’s number.” you said, making Yuna stick out her tongue.

“It’s okay, dear. There is someone for you except for Jaemin.” Mom said, patting your back. 

[toughguywithbossygirlfriend]

Justice League Dark #12 : Diana, Bruce and the Dragon

With my previous post about “DCeased #6″ I showed how Diana cared deeply for Bruce now a little bit of the reverse ... plus a little more of their similarities.

(Edit from DC Comics Rebirth Justice League Dark #12)

Underneath the Hall of Justice ... If we take a better look at the Great Skeleton in the Background ... especially his weird head structure...

(Edit from DC Comics Rebirth Justice League Dark #12 and “JLA:A League of One”)

It reminded me of the Dragon Diana killed a long time ago : Drakul Karfang

(DC Comics JLA: A League of One from 2000 )

and if you add the Weapon stands and its subterranean location ... this is Diana’s version of the “Batcave Trophy room”. We’ll take a peak at the “JLA : League of one” later, for now back to “Justice League Dark” :

This part is actually a side story in the Issue #12 showing us the past... the moment the creation of the “Justice League Dark”  was decided :

Diana wants to have a Talk with the other Great Seven of the JL to get their approval for the creation of a New JL Team. Through the different Pics it is made Obvious that Bruce stays in the distance of Diana and the others... He doesn’t say a word ... something’s Up ... something more important then a meeting to create a Justice League to protect innocents from Magical threats ?!? ...

(Edit from DC Comics Rebirth Justice League Dark #12)

Diana : “..a covert team that works in the dark...”. Covert team ... Fighting in the Dark ... That’s already so much “Batman !” ..

Of course Diana doesn’t have any problem convincing them ... they are SO easy ! ... except one ... someone who stayed silently behind. The Amazon princess surely noted this since the beginning of the meeting but didn’t make a comment. Instead she waits for the both of them to be alone afar from prying ears... This seems so natural that you get the feeling this isn’t the first time they do it. They don’t need words, they just know. These two definitively share a connection apart from the rest of their friends.

(Edit from DC Comics Justice League Dark #12 and DC Holiday Special from 2017)

As soon as they started their little talk, I couldn’t help but recall their chat about their relationship with Darkness in the DC Holiday Special 2017 “Solstice” story and how they both needed to guard against being consumed by it (An amazing little story for the two from Greg Rucka). Again we are reminded how close, how similar, once you get deeper into their souls, once you cut off their visible differences Night and Day, Female and Male, Science and Magic, Godlike power and Genius Intelligence... Differences that, in the end, are nothing else then complements.

(Edit from DC Comics Justice League Dark #12)

Diana understands Bruce is more concerned then she expected, ... even afraid ! Batman afraid ? what the hell can frighten the Dark Knight ? ... At first, it looks like his fear is about instigating a “Crisis-Level events” of Magic ... but then ...

(Edit from DC Comics Justice League Dark #12)

Bruce : "...Why spearhead this yourself ? There are dozen heroes...”  Damned ! that’s a very interesting statement.

If Batman’s fear was only about instigating a crisis level event why would he want a random other Hero to lead this Dark Justice League ? ... Choosing another Hero to lead that team wouldn’t prevent these kinds of events to happen and ... Leaving the fate of everything in the hands of a Rookie instead of Wonder Woman ?! No chance Batman would prefer that ! ...

Plus , lets face it, there is NO way Batman would have kept his mouth shut during a JL meeting if he was against the “JL Dark” or “afraid” it could lead to a crisis level event fo Magic. On the contrary he would have said it and made sure every one around the meeting’s table wets his pants, especially Clark who is easily affected by magic. This alone proves he already approved this new team ahead of the meeting.

This is about Diana leading the team.

But what does he really fear with her as the leader ?

Some have suggested he doesn’t trust her ... no, that’s definitively not it. He trust her to lead the main JL team on the Battle field (recent exp: Dark Nights Metal #1). He trusts her to protect Gotham (recent exp:Trinity #14). He trust her even if she loses her powers (recent exp: Batman #39 - #40), or is blinded(recent exp: Trinity #17). He proved that countless of times. Hell !, they passed 37 years in Gehenna with only each other to lean on. This isn’t about trust !

(Edit from DC Comics Justice League Dark(2018) #12)

Issue 12 is the 5th part of the “the Lords of Orders” story line and the Justice League Dark team has to embrace Dark Magic and Chaos to stop the Lords of Order (currently gone mad). To do that Diana and her team must become the “Lords of Chaos” for some time...Enough Darkness to taint, or destroy, the souls of most other Heroes... Actually the whole “JLD” series circles around : Diana, Magic and Darkness ...

Now I think it is time to remember the beginning of their exchange in the Hall of Justice : 

Bruce : “Darkness can change a person” ... that’s what they really talk about.

More than everything, Bruce is afraid the Darkness this team will endure may change Diana. Very few times in his life he was so very very selfish : He said it himself, he doesn’t understand Magic, so he can’t lead that team but he would rather risk any other competent Hero being tainted and consumed in Darkness than Diana... that’s an unusual statement for him ... sacrificing someone else just to keep her safe ?... This gives us a good Idea what she really means to him.

I guess that same reason is why she won’t ask him to join the team even though they both traveled side by side thru numerous worlds of Magic (Tir Na Nog, Gehenna, Skartaris, ... to name only a few during Rebirth) and his IQ would be a great asset even against Magic (see : Trinity #14).  But She’d rather have another Brain exposed to Darkness with her then him.

And if You have still doubts that Diana and Bruce are the two opposite sides of the same coin, the same soul split in two bodies ... here’s “striking fear in the heart of her enemies” ... the Dark Princess ... XD

(Edit from DC Comics Justice League Dark #12)

Now, ... a little sneak peek into “JLA: A League of One” (2000) (the Book where I think the Dragon’s skeleton is from) about Diana’s contingency plans.

Just enough to reveal that it was the first time Diana used ...some kind of contingency plans to bring down or neutralize every one in the Justice League except Superman whom she could only “distract” for a short time. That would explains why she had a plan to kill Superman rather than neutralize him as revealed in DCeased #6... Anyway, her plans worked perfectly including the one for Clark/Kal. Only one plan failed back then...

We are in 2000 !! ... the same year we learn about Batman’s contingencies in the JLA’s “Tower of Babel”.

(Edit from DC Comics JLA : League of One in 2000)

So about the contingency plans ... I was wrong,... Bruce didn’t rub off on her as I first thought ... she already had it in her !! ... She really is in the other side of the coin with Bruce on it.

Now I’m starting to think she was just mad at Bruce when she voted him out in JLA(1997) #46 because his plans to neutralize her worked perfectly, while hers for him didn’t ... mean girl !... XD

Since the beginning of the “League of One” story he could read Diana like an open book, and looked thru her Lies when everyone else in the JL just accepted them. The others are really so easy... At least the fight between the stubborn Diana and Bruce is way more real and entertaining than the ones in “The Hiketeia”. Still Bruce doesn’t use a contingency against her. He knows why she does all this : to protect her friends from the JL. So he only wants to stall her long enough to convince her that she is wrong. But if you’re facing Diana in a fight that’s far from enough and the Win goes to the Warrior Princess.

(Edit from DC Comics JLA : League of One in 2000)

Another thing that Diana learns in that story is that even without Powers he is way harder to defeat then she expected ... and last but not least ...she destroyed the Dragon but is still alive after that ...dammit, that annoying man is always right even about prophecies ! ...

Early stories like this one show why Diana interests matured and moved slowly from the shining Man of Tomorrow to the secretive Dark Knight. Explaining what was resumed in Trinity (2008) #6 about her romantic preference between the two.

[tslasvegas]

Episode 9: “Dear Diary, it’s me, Jaiden” - Jaiden

I feel like I've had a breakthrough. I just survived my first merge vote of the game and I wasn't even having a meltdown. That's already miles and miles ahead of my last Tumblr Survivor season where I made the merge. Although I don't think my position in this game is locked yet, I feel pretty good about where I stand. I hope that the Touchy Subjects answers reveal my hopes that I'm not a threat to anybody and that people don't believe the common idea is that I'm shitty or too perfect or something. If that makes any sense. Basically I just want to know that I'm doing okay here so far. I feel good about my chances at that but we need some work to be done before I can say that for certain. I hate seeing Andrew leave because like I said he's someone that I wanted to work with, but I have to believe what people said about him being an over-player, a mess, etc. and just stick to my guns that I made the right call here. I kind of wanted to see if Joey would play his legacy for Ben but I'm glad I held back on that because I hope the legacy will come back in the future to save me. I don't have a lot of confidence when it comes to the literal minefield of idols and nullifiers out there. As long as I continue convincing people I'm on their side, or that I'm not the enemy at least, those things won't get used on me. Right now that we're on the jury, I NEED to focus on my jury management first and foremost. I am super okay with playing my strategic and social game the way I've been doing it thus far (obv learning from past mistakes.....) but the killer to my game 99% of the time I've made it deep in these things is how I get that jury to feel about me. Protect myself in game, but also set up a jury of folks who feel like they can trust me and only me. And.. hopefully some day I'll blindside Joey and he'll give me his legacy advantage.

...five seconds later

Tbh I hope that Jake reads this after the season and realizes that I never once at this point in the merge find him annoying. Somehow in his own mind he thinks hes like, the worst person ever and I'm trying to tell him he's not, he's great, we have a lot of work ahead of, etc and he's not buying it at all. Idk if this is him trying to emotionally manipulate me or not, but.. like.. thats my gameplan tf! 

So Steph, Pat and Jeff were left out of the vote. But Jaiden said it was supposed to be unanimous. That means that Keegan, Liv and Joey purposely left them out. I don't understand why they would intentionally make enemies. Better for us I suppose. We just got to keep our ragtag group of 6 together: me, John, Jake, Kailyn, Jaiden and Ben.

So the merge vote was quite interesting. With this being a 13 person merge, I tend to believe it is best to play a tad conservatively early on. This made it to where I figure the OG Palazzo would get a good 1-2 rounds of things their way before Keegan, Jake, and I mounted our little rebellion. As it turns out, I woke up to Jake and Keegan wanting me on call because Andrew was being as messy as he was on our swap tribe. Jake said that Andrew confirmed the OG Palazzo chat, something Keegan and I had already did, and that Keegan threw Jake's name out in said chat and Andrew shot it down. In reality, Andrew is actually the person that threw Jake out. He threw Jake's name out first on our swap tribe and he threw it out first here. I am really unsure what game Andrew really wanted to play beyond making sure he had options outside of the OG Palazzo. So from this point, we went around and got a feel for who we could pull. Joey had already expressed to Keegan that he felt nervous about there being a massive numerical OG Palazzo majority. The game is better for all of us if it is a bad more fluid. We ended up kicking Andrew to the curb in a 9-4 vote with Steph, Jeff, Pat, and Andrew voting in the minority. We talked in the OG Palazzo chat and those left out seemed to understand once we explained some of Andrew's missteps in PM's. This is good because I want some form of OG Palazzo to be there if it becomes something that I need down the line. At this current moment, I have heard no one bring up the super idol that is in Keegan and I's possession so I can only assume that we got lucky and no one actually checked the vault after we grabbed it. This could be due to lack of chips at the time or people just forgetting to. So for now, I shall assume everyone thinks that the super idol is vibing on the idol board, which is very good for me. Typically with a super idol, it would be super easy for you to get voted out the round after saving yourself with it. That is why I would like for it to get as deep into this game as possible. At the end of the day, the best part about having it is knowing its whereabouts and not having someone else possess it. So after TC, Jake, Keegan, and I hopped on call to celebrate. Jake revealed that Joey offered a 4 to him and Jake said I am good and should be included. This is how many current alliances are looking: - F2: Keegan and I - Three of Us: Keegan, Jake, and I - Meninism: Keegan, Jake, Joey, Jaiden, and I - OG Palazzo: Keegan, Joey, Jeff, Pat, Steph, and I This makes it so that the only people I do not have some sort of alliance with are Ben, Kailyn, John, and Xavier. I like these people but that is kind of how the game is shaking out currently. Ideally, I want Ben out next as it would allow my 3 to fade into the background and let what should be a consensus boot happen. After TC, multiple people expressed that Ben hadn't been very social. Now the current challenge is Touchy Subjects and I hope I do not get too many positive ones just because they could result in me being targeted. I think I am in a good spot to where I am doing well socially and having one on one's with everyone in some capacity, but I am hoping I am not perceived as any sort of power player at the moment. That fucked me in Trinity: Deception Island and I would not like for that to fuck me over here. I do think I have the connections to make it through for a little while. I see a path to the end but as I get closer I will have to evaluate whether or not that is a winning path to the end. Below is a short synopsis of my one on ones with people: - Steph: like nothing because I have found her super dry premerge - Jaiden: we have been talking about reading and writing and books and it is a good time - Jeff: he is a king and we have been talking about theatre and work and past games and shit - Jake: not as much one on one stuff due to our calls with Keegan - Keegan: not a lot but I have been updating him prior to updating the 3 chat - Kailyn: college and majors and such - Xavier: not a whole lot but he seems really sweet and messaged me "i am glad we voted together :)" after TC and I found that super wholesome - Ben: he has not responded in a bit but he wanted to strategize for the idol hunt with me - Joey: a decent bit of memes back and forth - Pat: lots of small talk but we have had some good convos and he seems to understand the Andrew move - John: we talked a bit about Atomic Nova Scotia Overall, I think I am doing well but not overtly so. This is ideal when we are still at Final 12 I think.

I think Palazzo will vote out Stephanie :) They hate women

Wow. I'm writing this after immunity results. I'm kind of just gonna word vomit. I checked off individual immunity from my checklist. And it's this challenge. The one that eliminated me in 26. The one that crushed 16 year old Jake's self confidence, and made him never want to play again. I got Hero, want to win, funniest, and stop talking which is kind of my favorite. I never ever thought I'd come back after 73 seasons, win THIS challenge, and in an individual setting. I changed history a little bit. And now I'm in the final 11. Ben is the easy vote this round, personally I'd love to see Stephanie go so that I can have Xavier to myself. But I can't push too hard. I controlled last vote, let someone else have a turn in the sun. I get to chill for once.

Now that’s character development!

Move now or lay low?

Final 12 feels pretty good, but final 11 will be so much better. If I make it through this vote, this will be the longest I’ve made it in a merge! And I’ll tie my placement with India :) Obviously I am still focused on my goal of making it thru til single digits, but I’m celebrating the small victories now so I don’t focus too hard on strategy that doesn’t need to take place this early. I feel like everyone is going to be looking at Ben as the dude they need to get rid of, so I won’t be surprised if he ends up going home. I don’t think that is the absolute worst thing for my game right now, but I’d prefer Stephanie or Xavier going before Ben at least for right now. I suppose I don’t have a huge voice on the subject but my pitch to keep Ben tomorrow is that it keeps Kailyn away from trying to work with Stephanie and Xavier who, frankly, need to be part of the next couple boots if we’re thinking big picture.. I don’t know if Joey will listen to me. Another option is maybe see if we can swing votes to Pat. Would anybody be upset to see Pat go home? Who knows. But basically my relationships are so little with Pat, Kailyn, Stephanie, and Xavier and idk what to do about them right now. I really just don’t wanna see those four link up and go super far because that would be kinda boring and really devastating LOL Another big win for me today was that I got put into the Meninist alliance with Jake, Joey, Livingston, and Keegan. While I’m not particularly fond of Livingston yet, we’ll see if he grows on me :) if not he can say adios. Since Joey is looking REALLY dangerous I’m gonna try to distance myself from him more and more right now. I don’t want people to think I’m drinking his kool aid bc I’m not, but I don’t want him to think I’ve turned on him bc I definitely want him to still give me that legacy advantage.. This morning I was thinking about how I can really give myself a better trajectory to the end and I’m a little bit confused still on what my winning conditions are for this game. What moves can I start making today that will set me up for six tribals down the line when surely the game is getting messy as fuck and I need protection from all sides? Maybe discrediting people like Xavier, Stephanie, Kailyn, Pat, and even Livingston aren’t the best things for me to do right now. I want to keep people who are in my corner safe such as Jeff, Keegan, Jake, and hopefully Joey but we’re almost to the halfway point of the game and it’s not going to be easy to keep everybody including myself safe. It’s no longer a question of whether I’ll win this or not. It’s a question of how I win. The merge is what counts I think.. everything before that was just the foundation for success. My foundation is cracked and not the best but I’m picking up the pace, I think. Whatever. If I have to use my social connections to Joey or John or whoever, I’m going to manipulate them to what benefits me. I don’t wanna go down that path of being messy but some day soon these ppl are gonna realize they should’ve never trusted me to begin with... because I’m coming for them.

Me almost forgetting confessionals were a thing. Ben is really popping off here today because he knows he's the boot. And now he has created a "straights alliance". This... is such a weird day. I wanna just go back to bed and not deal with all of this because it's weird.

6 years ago I wanted to pull of a move like this. I can get Ben to explode in main chat and with everyone. Pick fights, freak out, tank people’s games, just be a monster. And without anyone knowing, I’ll give him my safety without power. Idols will be flushed, mass panic, and I have immunity so I’m just chilling. We’re about to gamble baby.

Dear Diary, it’s me, Jaiden. Ben went off the deep end today and proved that he was a wasted spot on this season to begin with. This tribe is only big enough for one messy bitch, and not only that but I'm one big fat messy bitch, so sorry Ben but your time has come. 

I always get a bad feeling before tribal. I just hope Ben goes, and it’s easy and smooth and there’s no issues. 

I thought Kailyn was horny texting me, turns out she's just high........ Kailyn, 5:15 PM so is the vote tonight ben ?? i’m kind of [redacted] rn don’t know what’s going on 😳 Jaiden, 5:15 PM yeah :/ i feel bad bc ive grown to like ben but no one is offering any sort of alternative omg whats redacted Kailyn, 5:16 PM 😳😳😳 legally, it’s a joke 💖 Jaiden, 5:16 PM IM??? Kailyn, 5:16 PM JSDJKSKA Jaiden, 5:16 PM WHAT do u mean uimm i cant find the up emoji but like UP u know?? Kailyn, 5:16 PM SJHDJDKSLA yes 💖 Jaiden, 5:17 PM omg queeeeeeeen i love that for u JOKINGLY of course hehe Kailyn, 5:17 PM for the laugh 💖💖💖💖💖 thank u Jaiden, 5:17 PM god we stan r u gonna be at tribal?? Kailyn, 5:18 PM if i remember yes ofc 😇 me trying to do my french hw rn: 🧍‍♀️🧍🧍‍♂️ Jaiden, 5:19 PM HAHA good...i wanna see u pop awf hopefully HJAHHAHA i love the emojis Jaiden, Kailyn, 5:19 PM NSHDJSJAJ ofc 💖 Jaiden, 5:19 PM god im truely living my best life thru u rn tell me something french Kailyn, 5:22 PM je can’t remember a word of français rn bc i’m so h word 💖🙏🥵 Jaiden, 5:22 PM *HAPPY!!* Kailyn, 5:27 PM so true 😇 Jaiden, 5:27 PM wait i hope we mean the same h word im starting to think its not the one im thinking of....... Kailyn, 5:28 PM DJDJDJKSAKALKAK uhhh not me accidentally calling Xavier 😭😭😭😭 Jaiden, 5:29 PM DID HE ANSWER Kailyn, 5:30 PM YEAHHHSJDJSKLALA Jaiden, 5:31 PM WHAT HAPPENED IM FUIOHWODIH thats so fucking funy Kailyn, 5:31 PM NDDHJDKSS I SAW MY FACE POP UP ON THE SCREEN AND I WAS LIKE FUCK Jaiden, 5:31 PM H9uhiudheiuhfH Kailyn, 5:31 PM AND HE WAS LIKE. DID U CALL Jaiden, 5:31 PM VIDEO CALL????????????? Kailyn, 5:31 PM AND I WAS LIKE UHHH Jaiden, 5:31 PM IM DYING Kailyn, 5:32 PM AND HUNG UP Jaiden, 5:32 PM KAILYN Kailyn, 5:32 PM NSHDHDKSLSLA Jaiden, 5:32 PM IM LAUGHING SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKIGNM HARD Kailyn, 5:32 PM ate some Good chocolate on this night 😤👼 Jaiden, 5:33 PM oh my GOD you're talking about the H i DIDNT THINK U WERE TAKING ABT Kailyn, 5:33 PM JDDHJDKSKALAP WHAT DID U THINK Jaiden, 5:33 PM maybe calling xavier wasnt on accident i THOUGHT you were talking about being high but UGHFWO)DJH CHOCOLATE IS AN APHRODISIAC Kailyn, 5:34 PM YEAH I AM WTF Jaiden, 5:34 PM WHAT] Kailyn, 5:34 PM DJJDDJKSLSPAPS NOOOOOO Jaiden, 5:34 PM I TOHUGHT Kailyn, 5:34 PM SHJDJDKDOEOEOWOWA Jaiden, 5:34 PM OMFG Kailyn, 5:34 PM BCUCNCNDODNDIEOEKOEW Jaiden, 5:34 PM WHEN U SAID CALLED XAVIER AND THE CHOCOLATE Kailyn, 5:34 PM WHAT THE FUCKODKSKSKS NOOOOOOO Jaiden, 5:34 PM I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING Kailyn, 5:34 PM DBHDJSKAKAKS BYE NOOOOOO DJDHDJSKALLAA Jaiden, 5:34 PM IM DETLTING MY FUCKING ACCOUNT IM DLEETING MY FUCKING ACCOT Kailyn, 5:34 PM HSHDHDKSKALA

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Teach me Something New

Hello Tumblr!  This finishes up my Modern AU series for Team 10, featuring Shika/Tem.  Enjoy!

Temari made her way to the hill behind the science building. As part of her coursework, she was required to tutor a few hours a week. It amazed her that some of the people that she had tutored hadn’t failed out of school. This experience had tried her patience but it was a necessary evil to graduate. So she had no choice but to suck it up and endure. This person though took the cake. Trying to contact him was like pulling teeth.  He wouldn’t respond in a timely manner. And when he did he seemed genuinely confused about why she was contacting him but it was his professor that requested her. On top of his utter lack of regard for her time he requested that they meet for their tutoring sessions outside like some new-age professor. Normally she would have just dropped him but tutoring him would fulfill her last few hours so she needed to just grin and bear it. 

 She found him at the top of the hill completely still and dead to the world. The wind was blowing sending a comforting breeze through the trees as the clouds layered the sky. 

“Are you Shikamaru?” She asked her figure casting a shadow over him. He opened up one eye to look at her before shutting them again without a response. 

‘Is this guy serious?’  She could feel the storms starting to brew.  

“Hey! Are you him or not?”

“Gah, troublesome.” He groaned shifting to his side away from her. 

Temari felt herself still. Why did that seem so familiar?  She felt the world tilt before shaking her head. “What did you say?”

“Troublesome.” He repeated slower as if he wanted to get a rise out of her and still facing away.  So she stormed over to his side placing her face inches away from his. 

“If you are him, I’m your fucking tutor and you will treat me with respect.” Rather than looking at her fearfully which is what she was going for he just peered back at her. Soft doe-like eyes wide and wondering. 

“What?”  She mumbled pulling away slightly. 

“Have we met before?”  He tilted his head to look at her.  

“What the fuck kind of a question is that? I just asked you who you were.”  Her words may have been harsh but she couldn’t help but feel the same. Something about him seemed so familiar. 

Shikamaru just sighed rubbing his eyes.  “Sorry. I have a pretty perfect memory so it’s gonna bother me that I can’t place who you are.”  He kept staring at her as though he was trying to figure out a puzzle. 

“Look, Professor Sarutobi asked me to tutor you. Let’s just get through this and we’ll never have to talk again.” And yet, why did that idea feel so terrible? 

Groaning he sat up to look at her. “He worries too much. Let me explain, I don’t need a tutor.” 

She just stared at him confused. “What?”

“Yea, I use class time to sleep and doing the work in class sounds like an actual nightmare and more work than I’m willing to put in. So I just sleep thru them and ace the tests, midterms, and finals.

Temari just stared at him frustrated.  “How...how is that possible? So you sleep through it and still pass?” 

He shrugged lying back down. “Basically.”

“Then why am I here?” 

“Asuma seems to believe that I have some kind of potential so my system won’t work with him. I’ve missed a bunch of assignments and the tests aren’t enough to make up for it. So he cut a deal. I get tutored, ace the final and I pass.” He explained annoyed. If he didn’t respect his teacher so much he would have dropped the class. 

“You expect me to believe that?”

“What a drag…” he groaned. 

“Stop doing that!”  She demanded loudly. 

“Doing what?” He asked startled. 

Temari flushed and shook her head. She didn’t want to feed into his crazy idea that they’d met before but he was way too familiar for this to have been their first actual meeting. It was like experiencing déjà vu.

“Nothing. Okay, prove it to me.”

He scrubbed a hand across his face. “Fine. Hand me the practice problems.” She handed him over the sheet that she’d typically give her students to test how much they knew before they dove into it.  She wanted to slap the smirk off his face when they were completed perfectly in minutes.

“So you’re some kind of lazy genius?”  

“You got it Teach.”  He replied returning his gaze to the sky. 

“What a waste of time! Now I have to find another person who actually needs to be tutored.”

“Look, I have to be here. You have to be here, let's just go through with it. Take this time to get your work done or relax if that’s possible.”

“I can relax!” She snapped.  

“Clearly. Just hang out with me for a few hours, cloud watch, I’ll teach you how to play Shogi then at the end of two weeks we move on with our lives.”  It was a pretty great deal. She’d get her hours done and she wouldn’t have to “tutor” him. 

“Fine.”  He grinned in victory at her and if her heart fluttered a little she’d never admit it.  

Temari laid next to him on the grass and stared up at the sky. How long had it been since she cloud watch? Actually, had she ever done so? 

“So what’s the real story?  You’re clearly smart enough.”

Shikamaru just shrugged. “I’m content to live an average life. Marry a not too pretty, not too ugly girl.  Have two kids and retire when my son makes something of himself and my daughter gets married.”

Temari just chuckled. “You have the same goals in this life too.”

“What did you say? 

She really needed to stop with these slips. “Nothing...I just feel like I’ve heard that spiel before.  So that’s it then. You want nothing else out of life?”

“Meh, not really?”

Her hands clutched the grass below her. “You sound like such a cry baby! You have genius-level intellect and you don’t want to do anything with that because it’s too much work? You could change the world. You could change lives!” He looked at her surprised at how impassioned she was about his life. 

She got up hastily wondering where that came from.  She didn’t typically become too concerned or invested in the lives of the people that she tutored but this was such a strange situation.  “I’m sorry. We just met, I overstepped. If you’re okay with it I’ll just go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  

Without a response, Temari made her way down the hill staring at her shadow. How could a genius, lazy, do nothing boy make her feel so off-kilter? This wasn’t who she was. She was unflappable and she wouldn’t allow some pineapple head know it all affect her. 

She wanted to avoid him but she wasn’t one to run from her problems.  It was either him or some other annoying person.  For all his faults he didn’t seem like the type to try to embarrass her. It would be too troublesome. The thought alone made her smile to herself. 

 When she trudged up that hill he was in the exact same place that she met him the other day.  “I’m uh sorry about yesterday…” She mumbled hating to admit it but it needed to be said.  She was no one to him, it wasn’t right for her to berate his life choices. 

He just looked up at her surprised that she returned but thankful that she had. “I’m used to it, my mom nags me all the time.”  He smirked to himself as she launched into a tirade but it amused him. He loved how her face flushed and how close she moved into his personal space. 

“You’re right, relaxing is clearly your strong suit.”  He teased her shifting to his side. 

“I’ll show you!” She took her spot right next to him silence falling over them but it was comfortable and relaxing. For being two strangers that had no desire to be there it was a nice break from the daily chaos and pressure of life. 

Once she calmed down they fell into a familiar conversation. She was bright and could keep his attention for long stretches of time which was a feat in itself. He liked learning about her and yet talking to her was something that felt so sweet and familiar. 

Against all odds “tutoring” him had become one of the things she looked forward to the most. He taught her how to play shogi and she’d demand rematches promising that one day she’d beat him. They watched the clouds together and sometimes it would morph into stargazing. They talked about their lives, their pasts, her future. It was entirely new and still felt comforting, like seeing a friend after not speaking for years. She wouldn’t just do this with anyone but for whatever crazy reason she felt like she could trust him. She didn’t become close to people, being guarded protected her.  But this strange genius made her feel like she could lower those walls.  

Temari hated the idea that in the end, they’d just be strangers again. She’d never call him a cry baby again and he’d never follow it up with her being troublesome. 

He’d never smile or smirk at her in that lazy way and she’d never play with his hair when his head would fall into her lap. They’d both graduate and pursue careers and lives that were entirely separate from each other and it all felt so wrong. As though they were meant to build a life together, becoming some kind of power couple that the world had yet to see. She’d push him to accomplish more than he could have ever dreamed for himself. He’d ground her and force her to slow down and enjoy life. Alas, this wasn’t some fairy tale. Shikamaru would just be someone that she met in this lifetime and would never see again. 

 The last day of their tutoring sessions came. He’d given her a glowing review and she assured Professor Sarutobi that he’d been a perfect student. She could tell that he didn’t believe her but accepted it nonetheless. 

They sat on their hill his head in her lap her fingers through his hair. He’d left it down today for her and she busied herself by playing with the soft strands. It was quiet as their inevitable end came barreling towards them. Neither of them wanted whatever this was to end and yet they couldn’t bring themselves to address it.  

“I uh...I decided to pursue a Master's.”  He announced shattering the heavy silence. 

“What?”  She asked surprised at the news.  

“Yea, I applied as a dare from Chouji and they accepted me. I turned in my paperwork yesterday.”

She smiled brightly at him, of course, that’s why he did it.   “Congratulations Shika, I’m proud of you.”

He nodded his arms wrapping around her waist in familiarity. “Thanks, you inspired me to try. It’ll be long and troublesome but if you think that I can make even a little bit of a difference then it was worth it to try.”

Her heartbeat raced at the idea that she could have inspired such a thing. “You’ll do great.”  She assured him incredibly proud. She knew just how much potential he had within him and she was glad that he was going to use it. He would change the world. 

Surprising her he sat up taking her hands in his. “Temari, I don’t like this.”

“What?”

“Why does it feel like we’re breaking up? Why does it feel like I’m losing you again?”

She felt tears building up in her eyes. “I don’t know Shika. Since we met it’s been bothering me. I know you, I don’t know how or why but I feel like somehow you’re mine.  Here and now and a million other times before.”

He smiled softly at her feeling the same way. “Perhaps that’s true. Maybe someway or somehow we were meant to find each other in this life as we'd done before.” 

“You were probably just as lazy and as much of a crybaby before.”  She grinned her fingers softly tracing over his cheeks.  

He leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her forehead. “And you probably nagged me into an early grave.” She just laughed in response her arms wrapping around him so she could rest her head over his heartbeat. 

Shikamaru tilted her chin up to meet her lips in a kiss.  This demanding, slightly aggressive, beautiful and wonderful girl felt so perfect in his arms, like this was where she was always meant to be. Here with him as the wind wrapped around them. 

Flashback

“Are you and mom soulmates?”

Shikamaru looked up from the shogi board surprised by his son’s question.  “Where did you get that from?” 

Shikadai just shrugged.  “It came up in a book, I was reading.” 

Shikamaru paused thinking through his response. Was it possible that he and Temari were fated to be together? The idea made him smile. Against all odds, they found each other in this lifetime. Why wouldn’t that be true in all other ones? 

“You might be onto something.”  

“I’m home!”  They heard her announce.  

“Here’s some money go hang out with Boruto.”  Shikadai groaned taking the bills from his father’s outstretched hand.

“Are you guys going to be loving and gross?”

“Yes, appreciate the warning,”  Shikamaru replied with a smirk.  

“Gah, what a drag…,”  Shikadai complained but he should probably be grateful that his parents still loved each other and for the warning. There were too many close calls in this house.

“Hi mom, bye mom.”  Temari just stared after her son wondering about the odd greeting. 

“What was that about?”  She asked her husband who came over to pull her into his arms.

“He asked about soulmates.”  Temari just smiled not needing any more of an explanation.  They’d known each other for too long and they didn’t need many words between them. 

She turned in his arms and kissed him softly.  “Soulmates huh?”

He just nodded lazily placing kisses along her neck.  “You’re the rational one of the two of us. Think they’re real?”

“Yes.”  Her eyes softened surprised by the simple and sure response.  She kissed him softly praying that no matter where their lives may take them now in all the ones to come they’d find each other.  

He kissed her and her lips felt warm and familiar against his.   They had fought for this life and future together. And he would do so in all their lifetimes.  

She smiled sweetly at him her teal eyes sparkling.  How lucky she felt to have his heart and to live this life with him.  “I do too. In all places, wherever the wind can reach you’ll be mine and I’ll always be yours.”  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21581161

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 20: What’s the Tea Sis?

It’s the day of the interview and our class was very excited to dress up like we were going to the Gala or some shit. I get visibly giddy and everyone outside the program notices.

“Iida-kun she’s in a good mood!” Kirishima nudges him in the locker rooms after in class training “you should ask her for that coffee date after finals before she gets busy.”

“I’ll ask her when we get to the dorms” Iida buttons up his shirt “she might be pretending again and she’s really stressed and bothered by something we did.”

“How do you know that’s what she does?” Mineta asks suspiciously.

“Because I always catch her when I think she’s a good mood to talk about things and she’s on the verge of going off on us.”

“Oof yea wait until then” responded Sero.

The rest of my day went uneventful and I teleported to my dorm the minute school let out for the day. I took my shower and finished before everyone came back from school. Right on the dot, Mimi and Jin portal in my room at 4pm with their outfits get coordinated. I get to flat ironing Mimi’s hair as Jin brushed Muffin 2.0′s fur, I do a dewy look on Mimi to make her eyes pop. I put my hair in a slicked back high sock bun and do a gold eye with glitter gloss, just to make things simple. Once the outfits were put on and we saw each other in the mirror together, we gasped on how much CEO realness we were serving.

“Ladies, shall we sashay out of this building to give these hero wannabes the full fantasy?” Jin got the leash that we put on the robo dog.

“Yes gawd! I wanna serve looks tonight~” I tongue popped like I was a drag queen.

We walk out, radiating power to whoever saw us.

“Oh Palma-san! What opulence you display” Aoyama came up to us as he grabbed my hand and Mimi’s “you ladies are what my dreams are made of” he kisses our hands “And you good sir are one lucky man to prance with these shining beauties!~”

Mimi gives me side eye “You aren’t kidding when you say some of them just throw themselves onto you when dressed up.” She takes out her sliver gun and points it to Aoyama “un-hand us croissant muncher, we got places to go.”

He immediately takes his hands away and backs up, all the boys were cackling at Mimi’s comment. Iida comes up to us and gives me the once over “In all seriousness, where are you 3 going?”

“Mission, top secret” Jin was lying through his teeth but we played along “If successful, we’ll come back richer. If we lose, we might not be coming back at all.”

“Yes, so I guess this is my good bye everyone” I try not to laugh “just in case we slip up.”

We quickly run through the portal Jin deployed so nobody had time to stop us. We laugh at my car as we waited on our other classmates to come out. On the way there, we pass by were I was housed and were Jin was housed. The location was just where the business district begins, not too far into town. We gathered in the parking lot and heading in just in time to give our presentations. There was panel of 3 people, 2 men and one woman in their late 40′s, dressed in executive like clothing. One of the men was clearly an ex-agent, the way he carried himself and the holsters on his waist were branded with a crest that I couldn’t recognize. We started with our term 1 projects, to nobody’s surprise, the robot dog took the interest of the panel. Next was a slide-show presentation of our year in pictures and all of us had a turn talking, the woman spoke up when we talked about Zippy.

“Waitwaitwaitwait! You, as a class, adopted this creature and TRAINED it to hold a gun?” she was having trouble putting it into words “and then you committed FRAUD to the agent board of education to let them give the lizard the test, passing him as a student and he received a license upon passing?!”

“Erm yes” Jin spoke up “but to be fair to the board of education that was present at the licensing exam, they didn’t check the roster nor looked up the student ID we gave them, it wasn’t in our school system and it was just ‘69′ 5 times on a faked school ID card.”

“Wow, a group 9 teens and a lizard outsmarting the board of education” said the other man to the ex-agent “impressive ain’t it? Remind you of old times?”

“Heh, those old geezers don’t know how to run shit” said the ex-agent, remising on his past “ok sorry for the derailment, please continue.”

We continued our presentation and they asked us a few more questions about our living space and off-campus trips. Some questions on our pro-hero practice exam came up and how was our experience with that.

“With your donation” I led into the closing statements “we’d have a better living space and more off-campus trips, despite the villain threat.”

“All we ask are those things” Hansai wrapped things up.

The panel thinks for a bit and talk amongst themselves like they aren’t sure if we are worthy candidates, the ex-agent turned to us for a final question.

“Not that it’ll matter, but how did you get here tonight?”

“Oh we took 3 carpools to get here” I spoke up “the school denied us a bus or limo because it wasn’t in the budget.”

The woman gave us a concerned look “How dare they deny basics! I’d had it with these pompous hero schools trying to suppress their agents!” she stood up and copied herself into 9 copies of herself “congratulations UA Intel A-class, you are our next donation recipients.” She came up to us and shook our hands, I took a peek at her appearance. She was a private agent, the ring she wore was stamped with the Emperor’s Coup crest, one of the highest ranked agencies that work closely with the country’s intelligence. Not to mention, she had a vine tattoo that crept up her right arm, don’t know what that means but it was a nice piece. We stayed a bit longer to thank them before heading back to the cars to debrief. 

“Ok kids, let me say, I’m proud of you for swaying them to giving us the money” Diya sensei started “but I want all of you to get your butts to bed! It’s nearing 8pm and I’m not going to play games with you tomorrow morning. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir” we said weakly, Jin raised his hand.

“Yes Matsui?”

“Can we get McDonalds? Under the condition that we pay for our own stuff and drive thru only?”

Diya thinks about it “If you give those conditions, then I don’t see why not.”

We cheer and Jin gets cocky as we pile in the cars to get to the nearest McDonalds, he plays Lip Gloss by Lil Mama on the way. We get our food and get so excited to go eat our food knowing we deserve it. I park and see my classmates off to their dorms, I teleport to the commons room, it’s empty and quiet. I don’t think much of it and I walk over to my room. I turn on my light and see Iida on my bed, tear stained like he was crying for hours.

“Oh my god!” I put my stuff down and run to him “What happened? Are you ok?” I put my hand on his face to check his vitals, he was alright but I was still concerned.

“You’re back! I was so afraid you weren’t coming back!” he held me “please, please take me with you on your missions. I don’t think I can live with myself if you got hurt or worse.”

I was confused at first and then I remembered that Jin lied to them, I was about to continue on the lie “Thank you for your concern but I’m fine! It was a success and nobody got hurt” I wiped his tears with my thumb “no more tears, come on big guy.” I levitated him up from my bed and to his room “I have some debriefing to do before bed and it’s way past your bedtime!” I plop him down on his bed and turn to leave.

“Wait! Ita” I turn to see him and he’s sitting up on his bed “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

His mind blanked the moment I said that, we stood in silence as he turned red “Umm that I am so grateful that you’re alive and well!” he rushed his words “and I would love to spend this cold season with you.”

“I don’t know what all that means but um thanks?” I really didn’t know why he said any of that “well good night Tenya, sweet dreams.”

He waved good bye to me and screamed into his pillow because he messed up his wording. He meant to say ‘I’m glad you’re safe and let’s spend the winter season together after finals.’ “Why am I like this?” he spoke into the pillow “one look and my mind goes blank like I don’t have motor functions.” 

Next few days were my insanity days with studying and training for the crackheads. All us intel kids were really holding it together to take our 200 question multiple choice final on Tuesday. It would’ve been fine but it was just so much to take in one sitting, I finished in an hour and 24 minutes, you bet I floated my ass to the ceiling to weep to myself for comfort. Everyone else finished before lunch but I still had to go to hero class, I was too mentally exhausted to teleport so I walked. As I calmed myself to go to class, I run into the Big 3.

“Ah Palma-san!” Nejire waved me down “its been too long!”

“hahaha yea! It’s like I’ve been avoiding yall” I was uncomfortable but trying to be polite “are you 3 ready to graduate?”

“Ye-yea, we can’t wait to get out there in the workforce” Amajiki seemed a little more confident.

“Yes! And I would like to extend the invitation to attend our graduation” Mirio bowed as he handed me an envelope with my name on it “and also to my graduation party, since I know you like parties.”

“Oh thank you, I’ll be there!” I got giddy “see you then! I gotta get to class.” I waved them off as I briskly walked to class to flex on my classmates that I got personally invited to the graduation ceremony. But then I hear another voice call out my name.

“Palma-san! Hey over here!” it was Kendo and she looked worried.

“Oh? Hi Kendo-san, how are you doing today?”

“I’m feeling a little stressed but alright, thanks for asking” she shifts from a small smile to worried again “hey I heard about you cutting off Monoma, and I don’t blame you, thats not why I approached you.”

“Hmm, is he getting worse?” 

“Yea, he just isn’t motivated like he used to” she exhaled “the exam is tomorrow and he has one shoddy technique to show for all that time you spent with him, I just want to apologize for all that wasted time and his bad attitude.”

“No need to apologize, I knew what I was getting myself into” I sighed “if he wants to come back to technique developing with me, he’s more than welcome at any time but I already told him that he needs an attitude change if he wants to get far.”

“He didn’t mention that to me” she gave me a small smile “all he said that he liked you and wanted to win you over by improving before the next term starts.”

“Heh I don’t believe that liking me part” I laughed “but I’m looking forward to him improving.” I look at the time “oh jeez, gotta run Kendo! See you around, good luck tomorrow!”

She waved me off as I ran to class, and just in time too. I spend the class time with the final session of training and I really pushed it a bit to my ability and almost fucked myself up. But then I got fucked over because Mina wasn’t aware of her surroundings and almost got rekt by Bakugo’s blast wave, I used my teleportation to get her to safety but completely exhausted my mental capacity. 

“Oh my gosh Palma-san!” screamed Mina as I was face down on the ground “please please wake up! I’m sorry I was being a dumb bitch and you sacrificed yourself!” She was bawling as she shook my limp body.

“Binch I’m conscious, stop shaking me!” I groaned “flip me over tho.” She flips me over and I gasped for air “oof there’s rocks in my bra and ass bruh.”

Everyone stops and gathers around me, Aizawa breaks them up and kneels at me “Are you good Miss Palma? You were about to tap out before that tackle.”

“Nah nah I’m good” I wasn’t okay but I’m no bitch “lemme just get up.” I didn’t move as I tried to levitate up “Okaaay, let try the old fashioned way, hup!” I tried to sit up and could barely lift my head, I sighed in defeat “oh dear, I may have exhausted myself. How annoying!”

“Aww fuck sorry Palma” Bakugo apologized “here let me take you to the nurse.” he picks me up with some struggle. Iida runs up to us.

“No please allow me Bakugo I can-”

“Fuck off four eyes” he snapped “just because you like to baby her doesn’t mean you’re the only one that should help her.”

“Just hand her to me! You’re struggling to carry her” Iida wasn’t playing games, he took her from his arms. They started to fight over her on who was take her to the nurse.

“Um guys?” Midoriya started as he saw me slip into unconsciousness.

“STOP SHE’S SLIPPING INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS!” Aizawa yelled as he activated his erasure for safety. “I’m going to take her to the nurse, class is over.”

I wake up in the nurse’s office and Recovery Girl was relieved “Oh good you woke up, you really pushed yourself Miss Palma.”

“I did?” I sat up and now I could actually move my body.

“Yes, I did a scan and your body was exhausted but your brain waves are strained and weakened.” She showed me a graph of the waves “here, it’s pretty close to unstable levels, I’m prescribing 5 days no quirk using.”

“Alright, I can deal with that” I sighed “at least it’s not going to get in the way of anything now that school is letting out.” I get released in time to go to Stats and Strats. I take the final and we were allowed to leave when we finished. Jin and I finish at around the same time and he portals me to my room to go into deep sleep. I change out of my uniform and go to sleep right away. I woke up close to 7pm, fuck I missed dinner I thought as my stomach growled I guess I’ll fuck off and eat yogurt and berries. I walk out to the kitchen and see the lights are dimmed and there was a plate of food on the counter. I wasn’t sure if it was for me but then I saw the note with my name on it: For Palma-san, sorry for being dumb.

“Well at least they know they’re dumb” I said as I sat down to eat. Before I could bring my fork to my mouth, somebody flipped on the light to full brightness. “Ay! mis ojos!”

“Oh sorry Palma-san!” Iida apologized and dimmed the lights again “I didn’t know you woke up.”

“Yea I did” I rubbed my eyes “I’m so hungry and just want to sleep for a few days to heal myself.”

“I’m sorry that we’ve been so inconsiderate of your health” he sat next to me “but let me make it up to you” he put his hand on my hand “lets go to coffee after finals tomorrow, to take the edge off.”

“Oh I’d love to but I got invited to graduation and a graduation party” I said to not sound like I didn’t want to spend time with him “maybe next week? I’m not doing anything and I really want to spend time with you again.”

He perked up “Really? You like to spend time with me?”

“Yea! You’re a great at conversation and I love how you willingly go where I want to go” I don’t see his face but he’s blushing “In America, I never got to do what I wanted and others often didn’t want to talk to me more than they wanted to. But when we have our alone time, I get heard and cherished like I’ve always wanted to.” I look at him and he tenses up “you’re one of my only friends Tenya, I don’t know where I’d be without you. And not to sound like a shojo beat manga but, you’re one of few that I have that I consider my chosen family.”

“Chosen family?” he asked with curiosity “whats that?”

“Oh um it’s a group of people you trust and get along with more than your own family” I explained “in this case, I’m separated from mine so I find trust and comfort in you, my squadron and Midnight.”

“I see now, I feel honored that you have me in that circle” he hugged me “thank you for seeing me as such.”

“No thank you, for approaching me on that day” I nestled myself in his chest “also I don’t know if this is weird but you’ve been improving on your hugs” I tighten my hug “they’re much less soul crushing and more gentle and caring, like the ones my dad gives me when I’m too stressed to close my eyes. He would hold me like this until I fall asleep.”

I yawned and he saw how relaxed I got “I will keep that in mind when you can’t sleep.” He let me finish eating before I fell asleep on the counter. I went to bed again and was very excited to see what’s going to unfold.

-The next day, sitting in on the hero placement exam-

I sit behind safety glass to observe all the hero courses go at it to show their skills. I was the only student in the small audience, everyone else was a teacher or staff member.

“So this is the legend herself” a deep male voice said behind me “Miss Palma, American born, double wielder and the most patient young lady in the world.”

I turn and see Vlad sensei “Oh! hello, I don’t know about all that but yes, I am Miss Palma.”

“You’ve put in great work to help my students to be better strategists and develop techniques” he bowed to me “thank you for your generosity and I apologize on behalf of Monoma for being a stress on your time with him.”

“Oh its not a problem! He’s welcome to seek me out when he changes his mentality on respect.”

“Thats a reasonable compromise” the siren rings to warn the students to be at the starting gates “I hope this will change his mind about it.”

I tried not to root for any one or scream when they’re fucking up. I saw alot of my techniques out on that field and it was a bit strange for me. Not because it’s my techniques but its because they found it useful enough to keep it in their repertoire. It ended and they got the final results but they won’t know until after school, but I got the insider scoop and the one person thats going in A class is  Shinso. Aizawa and I got really excited since he sought us out for his training and it payed off. I meet up with the others when they dressed and I let them know I was in the audience. After lunch, I took my hero course final with Aizawa and it was not as bad as I thought. There was no Stats and Strats because graduation. I attended their graduation in the auditorium, it was really nice, way better than American high school graduation. I got to see the Big 3 in each program and what made them the Big 3. Afterwards when I went up to the graduates, I was given a uniform button from Mirio, Amajiki, Agent 420 and some girl in Mirio’s class that everyone called SeaWitch (she has an amphibious quirk). I didn’t know what it all meant but I was polite and said my thank yous. I drove back to the dorms to change for the party later.

“Oh you’re back!” Hagakure jumped up “how was it? did you get any buttons?”

“How did you know I got buttons?”

All the girls gasped and swarmed me “SHOW US THE BUTTONS!” they all chanted.

“Oh jeez it must be a huge deal” I show them the 4 buttons “I got one from Mirio, Amajiki, a 3rd year in intelligence and from that one girl in 3rd year that turns into a mermaid.”

“I can’t believe it! Four buttons!” Momo looked at me with envy “I’d be lucky to even get one!”

“Not to be a baka-gaijin” I got shy because I have no idea “but what’s so special about getting a button?”

“Oh thats right! You don’t know about these little gestures” Uraraka remembers that I wasn’t born here “when you get a button from a graduate, that means they’re confessing that they liked you and never got the chance to tell you. It’s almost like a last chance to tell them you like them and maybe you’ll start dating or be friends.”

“Oh I see” I look at the buttons on my hand and remembered their faces when they gave me the button “its gonna get super awkward at Mirio’s party because I’m going and so are all the people that gave me buttons.”

“Oh dear that sounds sooooo awful” Jiro said sarcastically “I hate it when all my love interests are all at the same party I am!”

“Jiro-chan! you don’t have to put it like that!” elbowed Mina.

I shrugged it off and I dressed to go to his party. Now, I was under the impression that it was a clean party and his parents are going to be there so I should wear something to cover my tattoos and it should be cute and simple. I drive to his place and arrive at around 7pm, a bit after what the invite said. I enter and its a house party, no parents in sight, booze chilled, music starting to pop BUT the guests aren’t really partaking in the booze.

“HEY YOU MADE IT!” it was Mirio coming at me at full speed.

I dodge his hug tackle “Yes I’ve arrived, glad to see that you have your pants on.” 

“Lil mama! Come here, I saved you a seat” it was agent 420 and he was patting his lap.

I wasn’t that into him but I also didn’t want to talk to Mirio all night. I walked over and he proceeded to confess. Not to really shit on his feelings but I softly let him down and he just accepted it like a champ. I didn’t really drink or had fun, the music was garbage but the food was great! It was 9pm, I was sober again and the party was basically dead. I went to the kitchen to see what type of cereal they had because I was that bored, couldn’t find the cereal but I saw in the kitchen window the things going on there. There was SeaWitch and her friends just sitting in a bunch of kiddie pools. I walk out there and asked if I could join them because I hated what was going on inside the house. They let me sit with them and I found out SeaWitch’s real name, Its Mary Kuna. She then confessed to me and I had to say that while I don’t feel the same, I support her in coming out via button to me. I chat with everyone in the kiddie pools and I hear my name being called out.

“Oh hey its Mirio-san and Han-san” Mary pointed out with a cup in her hand.

“So thats his last name” I said softly as I turn to see Mirio, agent 420 and Amajiki hiding behind Mirio “whats the haps fellas?”

“We were talking and we came to a conclusion” Mirio spoke with his arms crossed “you aren’t having fun and you haven’t been paying much attention to us after confessing but are having fun out here with the water dwellers.”

“So heres the deal lil mama” agent 420 leaned in “you gotta choose between us if you want to have some fun and we’ll make it worth while and if you want to leave you have to kiss one of us.”

I was disgusted by this display, they were playing against me to choose for my freedom. But I had a plan “So I have to choose somebody that confessed to me to stay and have fun or kiss them to leave?” I asked to the 3 boys for clarity.

“Yes that is correct” said Mirio very eagerly like I was going to choose him.

I turn to Mary “May I have this kiss? I’ve had fun with you and I feel very unsafe being pressured to choose between naked man, weed number and shy McGee.” She nods and we give a very light kiss and I stand up from the kiddie pool I was sitting in “Now that I made my decision, I’ll be taking my leave from one of the lamest parties I’ve been invited to.”

“Wait up, let me walk you to your car” Mary stood up and retract her scales and fins “I’d hate to see any of these boys following you and pressure you to do anything else.” She put her arm through mine and her friends also stood up to escort me. “If you 3 do so much as follow us outside, you’ll have to face the wrath of me and my friends. I don’t care how strong you are, you don’t pressure girls to kiss you if they want to leave. I hope you 3 never reproduce!”

I was floored by the power of those words and how it made the boys back off. When they took me to my car, I hugged all of them for coming to my aid. We exchanged social media handles and then I left. It was a bit past 10pm when I got to the dorms, everyone was in their rooms and didn’t notice when I got there. I changed out of my wet clothes and got into bed. The next day, I woke up at exactly 10am and I was pumped because it was finally winter break, christmas was a week away and school resumes a few days before the start of February. I come out of my room and straight to the kitchen and everyone greeted me and my brain cells weren’t clocked in to do their job.

“Good morning! FELLAS!” I spot the baguette on the counter “is it gay? to eat bread?!” I hit the hardest dab anyone has ever seen.  The girls were confused but the boys laughed but then got serious like they were pondering on my question.

“Wait! IS it gay to eat bread?” asked Sero as he looked at his plate “I mean it’s in the shape of a dick.”

“GUYS! with that logic” Mineta said with wide eyes “breadsticks, bread DICKS!” I wish I knew how to describe the room with the boys hollering that they confirmed that eating bread is gay and the girls now more confused than ever before. All the while I was just standing there and I wasn’t being serious. Bakugo and Kirishima come to the kitchen.

“Guys! do you think eating bread is gay?!” Kaminari asked the other two.

“What kind of- WHO SAID THAT SHIT?!” Bakugo yelled, ready to fight whoever said that.

“Woah woah woah there Bakugo!” Kirishima tried to level the situation “I firmly believe eating bread is gay on the account that you use your mouth to eat a dick shaped thing BUT I will never give up bread.”

I crept my way to the coffee maker because I did not want to get bashed for being on my dumb shit so early. Todoroki and Midoriya then enter. Same question asked, but this time Midoriya pondered the question and Todoroki went back to his room. Iida then came in and locked eyes with me but he was soon hit with the question.

“Iida-kun! Is it gay to eat bread?” Mineta spoke up.

“HOW IS IT HOMOSEXUAL TO EAT BREAD?!” he yelled and chopped furiously at that dumb shit.

“Palma-san brought it up and I need your opinion” Mineta retorted “are you pro-bread or not gay?”

“Wait- PALMA-SAN SAID THAT DUMB SHIT?!” Bakugo yelled as I was about to eat a piece of the baguette “do you have any idea the fuckery you just caused?!”

“To be fair” I put my bread down “I just asked the question, Mineta took it to the extreme with the bread politics. I don’t think bread is gay but if it was, I’m still going to eat it.”

Breakfast was calmer after that and I was sitting in the commons room to see the pictures of last night’s lame ass party. Iida came up to me “Hey um mind if I sit with you?”

“Hm? Oh sure go ahead.” I was distracted by the video of the mini fight that broke out after I left the party.

“How was the party?” he asked as he scanned my neck for any hickeys.

“Eh it was lame, Mirio tried to kiss me and it wasn’t fun because everyone doesn’t know how to have fun at one. I made a new friend and I came to the dorms at around 10 last night.”

“Wow it must’ve been lame if you came back so early” he tried to change the subject “so um now that you’re indefinitely free until school starts...do you want to plan some things with me?”

“You want to plan more than just that coffee?” I locked my phone and thought about it “what did you have in mind?”

His mind blanked, he didn’t think she’d pick up that he wanted to plan more things “Um like maybe spending Christmas with my family, going to the farmers market, going to a skating rink...”

“Woah slow down there Tenya” he was talking so quick I couldn’t pick up what he was saying “lets just set the day for the coffee!...how does Monday sound?”

“That sounds great! I guess we’ll talk more about other plans later.”

Before I could say anything, Midnight walks in “Oh Itati! Just the girl I was looking for” she was carrying a small box and a folder that I recognized as my official documents folder “I have a delivery and good news.”

“Thats great!” I jumped up “lets go to my room then.”

“Why can’t it be discussed out here?” asked Iida suspiciously.

“Don’t be nosey Tenya” scolded Midnight “you and your brother have a habit of being up in everyone’s personal business. And this is no exception, if you could please give us some privacy.”

“Sorry, but she’s right” I stood up “girl stuff, you wouldn’t understand.”

“I see” he didn’t understand what that meant “I’ll be going now.”

We go into my room and she hands me the package as she sits down “Ok so I got your feminine hygiene products and good news!”

“Alright, whats the news?”

“Since your program got the large donation, the whole intel dorm is going to be redone and will accommodate for all the incoming for A class. In addition, we’ve accelerated your switch over and you’ll be moving to the proper dorms on Feburary 7th, your birthday!”

My jaw dropped “Really?! Now I’m super excited!”

“Yes, now for the good but a bit boring news.” she takes out a few documents “heres a peek at your 2nd year schedule, as you can see there’s a lot of holes in it. You have options of taking up another non-general ed course, take up 2 free periods or do some under-study credit and assist Mic in the advanced english courses.”

I look over the schedule and I have homeroom, vehicles and mechanics, Math 2, Strategy and Communications and an empty space. “I see that I don’t come in for the hero course strategy and communications until 2nd term?”

“Oh since you took a 3rd year course this past school year and passed, you have a free pass for any other strategy based course work. That class is 1st term strategy and 2nd term hero to control center communications.”

“oh alright, then I can I do a combo of having that term 1 hole as my free period and the empty slot as understudy for Mic?”

“You got it” She took the document back to write my request “Alright that’s all for now, we’ll be releasing the official schedule the week before school starts. Stay warm and be safe Itati, you can call me anytime if you need anything.”

“Thank you Midnight” I hugged her “I’m so fortunate to have you as my adult reliance, I appreciate you.”

“Aww stop I’m going to cry” she said welling up with tears “it was the least I could do.”

She leaves and I get to putting away my products. I keep thinking about my move in and how things are going the way I want them to. It’s finally not a huge dumpster fire that I didn’t cause but have to deal with.

-End Chapter 20-

<Previous - Next>                     

[grimdarkandhandsome]

SHAWN

    I was so embarrassed of my laser rifle that first day. I kept switching between clipping it to my belt and slinging it over my shoulder, trying to find a place for it that had minimal impact on my silhouette. Why oh why didn't I just buy the magnetized holster?

    'Everybody inside, children,' said Mentor Antonia as the dropship's big door swung open. 'Quick like bunnies! The Circle army is mustering as we speak.'

    We filed into the dropship, yawning. Quixota was in front of me, heavy-footed in rocket boots.

    'We're not children,' said Quixota. 'Even Eric has stopped growing by now.'

    Mentor Antonia depolarized her faceplate so Quixota could see how unimpressed she was.

    'If you're not children, then stop playing around and win some battles.' She leapt nimbly into the dropship. 'Takeoff in sixty secs.'

    We squeezed in. I remembered my old mentor Lady Dohi, back on Tau Ceti II. She actually called us children too, but she said it in a nice way, I guess. Here in War Training, self-improvement had evolved into hawk-eyed competition. I sat down and strapped in, rifle nose-down between my knees. I was between Quixota and the cyborg, Eric. I didn't know either of them well at all. The ship was cramped with all the armored students, and as we settled in we kept scraping and scratching the already-scuffed paint on the plastic seats. Everything was painted a really depressingly bright green. I pulled my helmet down over my eyes so I didn't have to look at anybody. The CQC girls were chatting irritably about missing winter on their home planet. Our squad was almost all girls, as was typical for our generation. With a muffled roar we rose clumsily into the air, and I watched the jump-jets flicker outside the rear porthole as we flew away.

    We were halfway thru our flight when our wristwatches glowed green, illuminating the undersides of everyone's chins and noses. We were entering the free combat zone. The CQC girls whooped and chanted.

    'Ho! Ho! Ho! HO!'

    The girl across from me looked my way and rolled her eyes.

    'Dionysians,' she remarked, as if this were normal or even a word.

    I intended to ask what she meant, but somehow just gave an awkward gesture of irritation and confusion. 

    She elaborated anyway: 'The opposite of Apollonians.' 

    She was a Light, or maybe Analyst class, tall with neat black hair. She wore a warp suit that made her look like a praying mantis librarian. 

    'I'm Lysa,' she said.

    'I'm Shawn,' I said miserably. 'Nice to meet you.'

    'Hey!' announced someone towards the front with a fusion spear. 'You guys! We are gonna blast those Circle dicks in half!' 

    Her companions cheered. I grimaced. 

    'The pleasure is all mine,' said Lysa, eyes sparkling. 'I see you've brought a laser rifle.'

    I couldn't tell if this girl was making fun of me or not. 'It has really good hip-fire accuracy,' I mumbled.

    'Do me a favor, okay? Hang on to this.' 

    She handed me a silver sphere about the size of an eyeball. It had a little triangle etched into it. 

    'Uh, um, okay,' I said, and dropped it into my satchel with all my other gear.

    'Have you ever been in a ground war before?' she said.

    'No.' I was painfully aware that despite being nine orbits old, I looked more like seven.

    'Neither have I,' said Lysa. 'But I've played a divine buttload of simulations.'

* * *

    Forward Base Rho was too new to have a real name. It had only been captured yesterday, and might well be lost again soon if the enemy mecha column came this way. It consisted of a circular wall, three towers with bomb launchers, two barracks (for seniors and juniors), a bathroom, a bunker, and two picnic tables. A couple battlefield cars were parked outside, caked in red dust. 

    We landed and piled out, blinking in the sun. We had alighted on a vast shallow slope under a brilliant blue sky. Out here in the wastes, the earth was a dry, windblown red, hard like asphalt. Patches of blue-green grass waved like seaweed. The land was very flat, distinguished by craters, ridges, and rocky hills. Downhill, at the limit of my vision, I saw a blue river winding among green fields. It was hot out, but the breeze was cool.

    The local commander unlatched the gate and waved us inside. ('Oi! Munchkins!') He was an older man from the Mecha Corps, with a robotic arm and a familial demeanor. He looked kindof like a broad-shouldered Confucius. He led us to the battlements, for the debriefing. 

    'Hello and welcome, soldiers. I'm Rozome, and, yes, I named Base Rho after myself. The campaign's going pretty good down here, but it all hinges on whether we can deal with the enemy armor in the west.' 

    He pointed towards the plains downhill, where a large plume of dust hung in the distance. 

    'Base rules are "Don't cause trouble" and that's it. I'm in charge of this here base, but your Mentor is in charge of you.' 

    Mentor Antonia bounced her eyebrows. 

    'You guys are in luck,' continued Rozome, tucking his beard into his jacket. 'The enemy doesnt care about this spot at all. You can totally goof off. Before you arrived it was just me and the journalist defending this place.' 

    From one of the gun-towers a skinny young man gave us a half-interested wave. 

    We all gave each other a look. All of us were here for action and career development. Bunking in the desert with no combat and a dozen meatheads? That was just a bad summer camp. I sighed. 

    'Anyway, pretty straightforward. Go ahead and settle in. I'll shout if we're attacked tonight, but 99% odds it's going to be quiet.'

    Mentor Antonia herded us back down to ground level. 'Mission tomorrow at 0900. Recon. No delays.' 

    We shuffled into the junior barracks. 

* * *

    After dinner, the CQC kids crowded onto four bunks for a tedious and noisy game of Never Have I Ever. I was just tossing my satchel onto the top bunk in the far corner when a flash of crimson lightning exploded in my face. 

    'What the shit?!' I probably said, falling onto my butt. 

    In the previously-empty top bunk sat Lysa, grinning. 

    'Hi!'

    'What did you ... do?!' I said, picking myself up again. 

    'I'm testing the teleport homer I gave you.' She tossed my satchel back down to me. 'I'll take top bunk, okay? We can be friends, it'll be fun.'

    'Um. Alright.'

    I put my bag on the lower pillow instead. I mean, at least I could get out the door faster if we were attacked. 

    'So,' said Lysa, peeling off her warp suit. 'What's your plan for tomorrow?'

    'Well,' I said, 'I don't think we'll do any real fighting, but I'll probably just give cover and supporting fire if we do.' I started to take off my armor. 'And you?'

    She pulled an immense Earth Sucks tshirt over her head. 'Watch and learn!'

* * *

    In the morning after breakfast we aggregated by the gate and, after some headcounting, squeezed into the cars. They were big combat models, like particularly bouncy trucks. Four people in armor could fit in the back, with a smaller passenger seat next to the driver. Lysa sat up there, next to Mentor Antonia in the front car. I was in the second car, in the back. 

    To noone's surprise, the mission itself was completely uneventful. It wasn't horrible, actually, because the cars were open-topped in the back. I'd forgotten how pretty terrestrial planets could be. We patrolled a wide perimeter around Base Rho, then split up and went exploring. There were some very nice striped arches in the rock, and actually a few artificial statues. I wondered whether would we have time to try our hands at carving something like that. It was a nice meditation. 

    We got back in the mid-afternoon. It was viciously hot and a layer of boredom was accumulating on our shoulders. Most of the others procured warm beer and retreated to the barracks, so Lysa took advantage of the quiet to teach me chess. Apparently they gave classes on it on her planet (Aurora I). She seemed a little heat-wilted until I killed both her chancellors with one elephant. Then she perked up and became much more competitive. Soon she had two bishops and her queen pointing at my defenseless king, and I had to tip him over. We sat in the shade of the well and she read while I dozed.

* * *

    Wednesday was just as boring as Tuesday, altho Lysa brightened it a little by texting me mocking nicknames for our squadmates. (For example, we named the short girl with the flamethrower Blowhard.) We drove as far as Base Beta on the edge of the sector, but didn't see so much as a bullet hole. 

    Thursday the other girls got fed up and confronted Mentor Antonia. The bravest of them (Blowhard, in fact) knocked on the senior barracks, while her friends hooted and cheered her on. Our Mentor opened the door immediately. 

    'Yes?' She was in simple unarmored fatigues, but she somehow wore them with an air of austere competence. 

    'Yo, we, um ... we would like to submit a command request, sir.'

    She merely raised an eyebrow.

    'Can we, uh, can we engage some of the enemy, sir?'

    Mentor Antonia smiled and looked them over.

    'Okay.'

    'Yo, you're serious??'

    'Yes. Everyone in the cars in twenty.'

    There was much whooping. Even I whooped, quietly. Lysa just grinned. 

* * *

    The sky was a fiery orange by the time we rolled out. The sky was immense on this planet. The CQCs were really happy, punching shoulders and shooting lasers into the ground. Actually, I couldn't blame them.

    We rumbled downhill at a very bumpy pace. We were borrowing one of the bomb launchers from the base towers, which Blowhard was crewing beside me. 

    'Our target,' said Mentor Antonia over the radio, 'is Base Lima, which is currently under Circle control. We're going to do a driveby first, once around. We are going to fall back out of range if they answer with equivalent resistance. If they do not present enough resistance my car - and my car only - will storm the base. Car Two will support or fall back at Quixota’s discretion, while remaining mobile. Over.'

    I pumped my fist surreptitiously. I was in the front car! I was in the van, like furious Achilles. I power-cycled my rifle and double-checked the battery. 

    We killed the headlights when we were ten minutes away. There was a lot of shhing in the back seats. I inventoried: rifle, four batteries, fully loaded cylinder pistol, an ion grenade and a concussion grenade. Time for my first day on the job. 

    Base Lima was supposedly in the center of a big, weathered crater downhill of us. I craned my neck but the crater's edge obscured everything below the base's comms antenna, gleaming in the sun. The enemy had fixed a Circle flag to it. It shuddered in the steady wind, and I thrilled.

    When we crested the ridge, I saw why we hadn't run into any enemies this whole time. We went over it with one of those little jumps that feels like going into space for just a second, and we skidded a little on the red gravel. We descended into a broad basin of red sand, in the center of which was ...

    'Is that ... a golf course?!' I said, squinting in the sun. 

    'I think it's like a big ass little forest, man,' postulated Blowhard beside me. 

    We drove cautiously towards the anomalous patch of green below us. It was at least five minutes away, but it still looked pretty large in area, maybe the size of a small stadium. It had trees, and very bright grass, and a sparkling river. The base's towers gleamed in the middle of the woods. It all looked really great to us in our dusty combat gear. 

    'An oasis!' I heard Lysa shout over the radio.

    'Boss, yo, can we go swimming?' said Blowhard.

    'No, soldier,' said our Mentor.

    'Aww, c'mon sir, why not?'

    'Because there is resistance.'

    And then ten camouflaged figures, just a stone’s throw away, stood up and opened fire. 

* * *

    'The winner is the artist with the more elegant performance.'

    This was my best teacher's motto. Ms Dohi, the Vertical War veteran. She was as tall as my shoulder, and her black hair was half as long as her. Definitely one of those competitive Vega women. And it was easy to see the results. In her office hung her doctorate in Campbellian film, and on her chest hung her Iron Heart.

    'The opening of violence, the introduction of projectile exchange, this is the most primal possible way to begin a narrative. The eyes are widened, the heart is engaged, the knees bend as the audience enters the story.' 

    I did all her assigned reading. Her Narrative Infantry Ops class was my favorite. It really made me see combat from a new angle.

    '...In this framework, then, to engage the foe with the classical honor, with urgency, is to accelerate the close of the ritual. To stand ground in Bushidic valor is to combat not just the foe, but combat itself. A more honest, Coverful attitude to violence is the embracing of covert actions. The soul of taking cover is iterative, a repeating dialectic of attack and retreat. Coverful warfighting is mutual, constructive, and compassionate. Hiding from the foe, engaging in mutual search, killing from behind, these are relationships of respect for the foe's mind, celebration of the foe's agency.'

    Accordingly, when the Circle ambush started shooting holes in the sides of the car, I took five quick breaths and jumped out onto the sand. When I stopped rolling, the cars were roaring away uphill, but at least the dust of their wakes obscured me. Coverful warfighting is about pushing the envelope. Changing the gamestate.

    Lying low on my stomach, I unhooked my concussion grenade and got ready to toss it at my enemies' feet. I only needed to stay unnoticed until it detonated, then I would have the advantage. 

    Unfortunately, in the next instant my concentration was interrupted by a giant

    - BOOM -

    as something unnecessarily high-powered punched a hole in my chest. Everything went numb and I started to fade. The last thing I saw was a Circle girl with big goggles pumping her fist as my own grenade went off in my hand. 

* * *

    T R Y  T W O.

    I woke up in a small bed with thick sheets. I was back in Forward Base Rho. Lysa was there, wearing a dress and writing in a black notebook.

    She smiled. 'Finally, you're awake!'

[an-oath]

La La Love.

So, tomorrow is Tuesday. and also, Valentine’s Day. AND believe me or not, I’m actually kind of cool about it. I’ve accepted that my night will consist of Photoshop and a bag of chips. I get to chill out with two of the best kids I know and basically just flat out enjoy where I’m at. Now, traditionally, I enjoy writing these rumbly Vday blogs because 1. it’s a great point of conversation and 2. a lot of people tend to be in the same place.  Now, I’ve got some points to talk about, and if you’re dreading tomorrow please read this and be comforted that somewhere on this floating, blue marble there’s a person that has your back. #me

Last year, I talked about how to be single. HA. What a joke. :) So, something that I’ve been working on in the process of this season in my life is development. Heart development that is. This year, I’m going to talk about the little that I know about love. I don’t know where this is going to go but ... enjoy.

1. LOVE is a big 4 letter word.

I know a few 4 letter words that carry weight and cause shock and pause but LOVE is rumoured to be a gentler genre of a word. Actually, for me. I feel it leave my heart every time I say it. Not when I say, “ I LOVE bacon.” but when I say goodbye to my Mom for the second time in one day because I just miss her so gosh darn much. When I get to wake up knowing that I get to greet the King of the Universe - sometimes it’s the only thing I know how to say when I’m with Him. LOVE. The biggest 4 letter word I know. 

2. LOVE can be confusing.

So, in this day and age, the whole entire concept surrounding LOVE exhausts me. I don’t know about you but I don’t want this 2017 version of LOVE. I want that person that knows me (every last bit) and still wants to come home to me. I want that person to tell me he loves me even though I put mustard on my Kraft Dinner and can’t listen through a whole song before changing it. I want my best friend to be my boyfriend. Is that too hard? I think it is, actually...

What I’ve seen, am seeing, is a group of people that handle relationships like ibuprofen. Pop it if you’re crampy - then grab another if that one didn’t cut it. It’s quick, it’s careless and it’s ineffective. LOVE is treated like a drive thru rather than a dine in. I’m not that easy. I need to know that you’re going to fight for my heart and not toss it in the wind like a soggy $5 bill. It makes me sad to see what I see. People that think they are less than because they are solo or worse, people that think without someone their value as an individual decreases. I don’t know a lot but I do know that God has never intended marriage, relationships and LOVE to set the value of your life. Our worth only rests on God’s shoulders and well, if we intend to wait for that person to entertain our own self-worth issues...we’re in for a heap of disappointment because sweetie, once the magical kissing dust settles ... that boy can’t fix that for you.

#micdrop

3. LOVE is messy.

The concept of LOVE alone is a disgusting process. You meet another person, be it a friend, lover, relative, and you willingly give your most vulnerable side to them and hope that they don’t take it and throw it in the dung heap. Ew. That, to me, sounds like the opposite of appealing. I would, MUCH RATHER, keep my precious blood pumper in tact, than risk the collapse of an entire aortic system...but...that’s not what I was created for. 

We are beings that were created with the breathe of LOVE and purposed to be LOVERS of people, promise and purpose. The risk that LOVE dangles in front of my glass heart is so much better than the dust settling on the shiny red surface. I would rather LOVE and be shattered than never LOVE at all. I think...

We were never promised that we would always be safe, but were assured that we would always be LOVED. This world is messy, the people are slobs and their hearts are broken but lying down deep in the human-y abyss there sits a LOVE story that is relived and retold for centuries. That’s the purpose of entertaining this escapade of romance. God wants to give us the dreams that we have so meticulously planned out. He wants us to be able to experience this kind of crazy, awesome LOVE. It is the one scenario on this Earth that grants us the opportunity to imagine how wildly God LOVED...LOVES ... us. He wants us to swoon and to blush and to romance - He wants it because He made it and He made it because it’s good. He also, unfortunately for me, has one strong sense of humour. 

4. LOVE is weird.

So, holding hands. Kissing...Sex. (GASP!)

Am I the only one that finds those acts a little bit..well...unusual. Who was the first person that decided it would be cute to take their pie hole and squish their lips against another person’s unsuspecting lips. How did that go down? I’m not the most (ha.) experienced in this department but...it’s almost a little laughable. What a way to experience the most sincere form of vulnerability with another human. You literally, have nowhere else to look except for in the other person’s face. Whoa. Now, I’m 26 this year - WHAT!? I know, I don’t look a day past 24 but believe you me, I’m excited about getting to kiss my guy. What a wild ride! That day, will be a wonderful one but if I’m being honest I’m a little bit terrified. 

Walking into uncharted territory this late in the game puts me at a place that seems much heavier than it used to. Before, kissing was just a thing that was done when dating someone cute. :P Now, I’m 26 (I know, I know ) and thinking about everything but most importantly, I think about how I want to make sure that the person I pie hole squish with is going to be my person. That’s a hefty order to place on one person’s lips. It’s true though. I’m so far beyond the dating circle that I’m in a square. I want this dating thing to have a short life span because I want to keep believing in my mystery man and my dodged bullets. LOVE is gross and slobbery and messy and so many other things but with great anticipation and maybe more quiet Vday Ddays on the horizon I imagine my romance to be one that would put Jane Austen to shame. 

5. LOVE is ... I don’t know. 

I’ve read the LOVE chapter...we all have...

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. 1 Cor 13 MSG”

Now, I know that this verse has revealed so much to me overtime but right now it’s screaming one sentence at me so loudly that I can barely breathe. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. When God touches our measly little single-ton hearts - as I know He will make sure to do tomorrow - He will complete that link. He will cancel out all of the things that we have so foolishly deemed unworthy for relationship, unworthy for a promising future and, most despairing of all,  unworthy for LOVE.

 I’ve learned that LOVE is a two sided venture but it’s also 3 fold. I grew up in LOVE. I was always present to a house full of LOVE. It was not a rarity to see my parents laughing or my Dad kissing my Mom’s hand while he’s driving. LOVE was heavy in my childhood. I moved out. I went to another city and although I’m still LOVED by my beautiful family. The 300+ mile distance gaps puts our LOVE meter at a slight low. I’ve learned that seasons come and seasons go. I spent the majority of my life in a season where LOVE was in bloom year round. Now, LOVE, is a treasure. It’s the four leaf clover of life that is just waiting to be plucked.

 As excited as I am to find that beauty, I’m also so eerily aware of how much changes when one season closes and a new one begins. I’m so not ready to picture my life any differently than I do now and that shows me that I need to watch for LOVE and pray that I always prove myself to be a woman that does everything out of LOVE for LOVE and in LOVE.

 It’s so easy to pretend that we’re not kept accountable by the LOVE that we tend to withdraw. I’m guilty of that. It’s in progress. LOVE is a powerful creature and a towering castle. It’s retaining and it’s freeing. LOVE is...the greatest mystery the human heart could or couldn’t and never will fully understand and that just has to be okay with humanity because I’m not about ready to explain to God why He did what He did. 

I wanted this little spiel to be funny but maybe next time...

I based it...slightly...on the most heart shaking movie I have seen to date.  This movie breaks my heart because SPOILERS it’s the story of a love that’s lost and a love that didn’t fight. Some would disagree and I KNOW IT’S JUST A MOVIE but I also know that I don’t want that. I don’t want a love that’s not ready to pick up the gloves and risk it all for whatever this heart thing is willing to dish out. I want the handwork and the long term rewards. I want that. I dream of that. City of stars, shine all you want, baby. I’m too busy polishing the dust off my future to be tangled up in what you’re all about.

I love you.

SQ out.

This excerpt was taken from last years and its such a strong paragraph for me. It’s been a blink of a year but nothing in my heart has changed and I’m so excited for my future with this great man, my best friend :) <3 #maybenextyear #takeyourtimebabe “One day, this amazing man, with the most adorable smile, will come up to you and surprise you. You won’t know what happened and that lie rug of misbelief will be pulled straight out from under your feet because everything that you thought about yourself will be put to rest. You can trust in the fact that you are God’s girl and He’s not going to just let you marry any Joe Shmo. He’s got His boy for you. He’s just teaching him how to tie a tie. That’s what’s taking him so long…but I believe that…even after this Valentine’s Day, or next Valentine’s Day or 7 Valentine’s Days from now…I believe that my Mr. has been worth this entire ride. All of the tears, the fears, the doubts, the lies and the loves lost. He will be enough for me. He will be my team mate and my shoulder. He will carry me when I’m tired, fly with me when I’m happy and bring me ice cream when I need to cry. Every risk in the world will be worth taking because I know that he is waiting for me still. Just like I choose, everyday, to wait for him. Now, I’m no expert on the Single life but one thing I do know is this is a prime opportunity to really connect on a new level with God. Take the time and sincerely purpose to learn new things about Him while you’re in this season. Not only will it make waiting easier but it will strengthen you in the long term and prepare you and your heart for the unexpected twists that marriage promises. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, just to be real and honest with Him. Sharing with Him where we are at emotionally and spiritually will bring a new sense of freedom in our hearts and minds. He cares about it. He wants to know…He wants to talk to us and share with us how much we have to look forward to if we are willing to crush it, stop it, do it, risk it, own it and trust it. If we are willing to, at the end of this road, become 100% us. Then I believe we will give Him the keys to the heart that we’ve been hiding for far too long. I’m excited for Valentine’s Day this year because I have the opportunity to become a better, more confident, more beautiful version of myself and I bet that my husband can’t wait to see who he winds up with. I know that I can’t…actually, I can. :P “

[cynthiadshaw]

Perspective & Advice for Those Facing Insurmountable Odds Test

Throughout our journey with Voyage, the one thing we have learned over and over is that hidden within every challenge is a blessing or opportunity. It’s up to us to determine whether a challenge we face will be a step back or the catalyst for a step forward.

We had the honor of connecting with some of the city’s brightest leaders and role models and we asked them our question of the month: What is the best advice you have for someone who feels like they are facing insurmountable odds.

Below, you’ll find their advice and links and other info so you can learn more about them, their work and how to connect with them. We’ll be interviewing many of these amazing individuals in the coming weeks, stay tuned.

Jolene Hayes | Natural Hair Artist

My best advice for someone who feels like they’re facing insurmountable odds is to “Just Keep Living.”  We must accept that each day will have its own set of challenges.  We must acknowledge our feelings when those challenges leave us with unsavory options & make choices that most positively fit the circumstances, not our feelings.  Each day you wake facing insurmountable odds, do what is possible to keep living for that day.  Also, if you don’t believe in God or a higher power, choose to believe in & think on the things that give you hope & keep living.

Kathy Pitts | Owner Of Magpie and Bobbin

My best advice is to pause, pray about it, take it minute by minute, hour by hour or day by day and know that no matter what, there’s a reason for it and every challenge makes you who you are!

Melissa Aguilera-Nambo | Mom, Artist, & upcoming Photo/Video Editor

There’s beauty in the struggle,” sums up my advice to all. In the face of adversity once must have the confidence and perseverance to never lose sight of the goal and the only way to get there is to get through it, go through it and feel through it. Write down and break down all your obstacles, knock out smallest first and go from there, it really helps ease off the stress if you can visually see what you’re up against. And most importantly don’t forget to enjoy it, try to see the bright side of each challenge, find out what each stepping stone is trying to teach you, you know what they say “life is our greatest teacher,” so allow yourself to be taught.

Franky J | Master Barber Instructor

My best advice for someone who feels like there facing insurmountable odds is to stop everything and focus on there mental wellness, find a hobby or even time to relax and meditate so  you can get your thoughts together and organized what is needed to be done to get out from the set backs or problems there facing. Mental health followed by physical health are the most important factors  to reach productivity, positivity and the will to fight back from the obstacles that we face so we can reach our goal and become a better and successful person.

Bella Cavalli Events | Unique Wedding and Event Venue

If you find yourself facing insurmountable odds, break down the problem into very small tasks, take each task one day at a time and make small accomplishments. And hopefully you will gain a sense of achievement and the odds against you seem to fade away. Also surround yourself with very smart people who have answers to the question and problems you yourself may not have.

No Label Co & Me | The Owner

If We Decided To Give Up Everytime Things Got Hard We Would Have No Accolades To Share With Our Children Or Milestones To Be Proud Of For Ourselves. Regardless Of What Religion You Subscribe To Life Is Simply All About Cause & Affect. Every Decision We Make Leads Us To Where We Are Now. So How Do You Want Your Life’s Story To Be Written When You Are Gone? Mine Won’t Be Written As A Quitter Rather Someone Who May Not Have Succeeded At Somethings But Tried & That’s More Than Other Can Say If They Hadn’t Tried At All.

Anastasia Marie | Virtual Assistant & YouTuber

Honestly, it is ALL about positivity and positive energy. We are all dealt different hands during our journey in life. We all deal with them in different ways. I always try to look at the positive side of the obstacle I am faced with. I mentally think bout how can the situation make me a better person or what I have learned from it all. One saying I always remember when I am going through a tough time that seems impossible to overcome is, “Every setback is a setup for a COMEBACK!”

Kaleigh Kirkpatrick | Founder and Luxury Travel Advisor of the Shameless Tourist

We’d love to include your response to the following question with the photo: What is the best advice you have for someone who feels like they are facing insurmountable odds?— “Just Keep Swimming!  Keep moving forward and stay focused.  The tides will turn, don’t give up.”

Brandon Correia | Owner of Bright Guys, LLC and Freelance Photographer

Let your faith be larger than your fear. This too shall pass. Your success rate on getting through tough days is 100% thus far!

Samantha Frederick | Mother, Entrepreneur and Artist

If your facing odds that seem to be to great to overcome this may be, you won’t know if you don’t try. Try hard and if you fail at least you tried, knowing that you did everything you thought you could will give you new strength and knowledge to try again or to do something different. We win some and loose some but I think we actually win a little either way. I have found being the minority in my industry has actually helped me to stand out. There is an abundance of fantastic male tattoo artists, many get overlooked. There are much less well known established female tattoo artists. I will keep using this to my advantage and continue to work hard to better my parenting, business skills and craft. No matter what happens I won’t be able to say I wish I had tried harder. I will give it my all.

Vive Musa | A Latina Community in DFW

The best advice we give is to always face a challenge with an open mindset. We tend to forget what we as humans are truly capable of and give up when we are faced by a difficult event. Be relentless. Find the courage to continue pushing and know that this will only make you stronger.

Scarllett Cuadra | Home Decor & DIY

Every difficult battle I’ve faced has made me a stronger person and left me a life lesson. If you are going through a challenging time, stay calm, and don’t make decisions lightly. Surround yourself with family and friends; they can offer a piece of good advice. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you need it. Sooner or later, everything comes to an end.

Monte Feagin | Color and Retexturizing Specialist

The capability and power to overcome is within is all, so put down your prayer beads and actually get to work. If you happen to fail, find purpose in your failure.

Shannon Perry | Independent Health Coach

First, Meditate & stretch, repeat. Second, Grab a pen (Not just any pen tho. I recommend A silver cross pen…..I hope They make rose or 22 k gold One soon) and paper (composition book $.91). Write down & # 1 thru 10 down page leaving space between each #. Start with most pressing items to least. Write next to each item a time frame to accomplish/finish. Make a cup of tea and stretch again & do some deep breathe work. Manifest and visualize which items need your attention right now. Get busy.

Jordan Combs | Motherhood and Lifestyle blogger

I want to first look at the meaning of the word insurmountable. The definition is: too great to overcome. And that is where I say: you are stronger than you think and you are an overcomer. I have truly wondered many times in my life if the “giant” I was facing was just too great but I can say: “I overcame them all.” And for me, it was with the help of the Lord. I love the analogy of the oyster and its pearl: Pearls are the product of pain and when it gets pricked by a piece of sand it creates a healing fluid which in turn creates a pearl. Without the adversity, the pearl would never have been formed. Whatever valley you are in or whatever mountain you are climbing, take it one step at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time. Take your thoughts captive and speak truth to the fear that wants to cripple you. Have faith and remember there is nobody like you in this world. You are unique, you are loved and you have a purpose!

Jill Boyle | Owner of Davis & Grey Farms

When facing insurmountable odds I always try to do a few things to change how I view the mountain I’m staring at. First, I pray that God would change my perspective. I have learned over the years, no matter the difficulty that I might be facing – there is someone walking through something much harder than I am. Also, by shifting my perspective it allows me to understand that this moment or this season will not last forever.

The last thing I do is dare to hope.

Hope that the sun will shine tomorrow.

Hope that the hard work I’m putting in will pay off, because nothing worth having comes easy.

Hope that the dreams that have been placed in my heart are for something great.

As long as you cling to Hope, you can face anything.

Yvonne Ochieng | Founder & Owner LEAFBERRI Co

The Journey to get LEAFBERRI of the ground has presented itself with many obstacles along the way. I have learnt to face every step of the way by first praying for guidance and wisdom. I have also learnt to be patient and pace myself to avoid being overwhelmed. I look at every obstacle as a learning opportunity to grow and build on my resilience and desire to take LEAFBERRI to the next level. What joy I derive when I am able to accomplish a defined task and move to the next level.

Jeremy Williams | Owner of Quality Casual Hat Co

The best advice I can give to a person facing insurmountable odds is to remember a couple of things and those things are that there’s never going to be anything placed on you that you can’t handle. Remember you’ve been equipped with the right weapons to fight every battle that comes your way. Another thing to remember is that things always have a way of working themselves out, you just have to stay the course. It may take an hour, a day, a week, or even years, but stay the course and you’ll see that those insurmountable odds will work themselves out because tough times don’t last, tough people do. Many people like to say that time heals all wounds, but really time is not the healer, it is the revealer of the healing that only God can do.

Ellyn Amador | Architect

Define your goal and break it down into small,  more acheivable steps.  Focus on and work each step independently so as to not become overwhelmed by the overall goal.  Reach out for help when you feel you don’t have all the information you need.   Try and identify areas where you might be limiting yourself unnecessarily.   Lastly, talk about your goal.  You would be amazed how much other people want to help someone acheive their dream!

Lindsay Ramon | Lead Artist & Studio Manager at Painting with a Twist/Frisco

Being an artist has been a dream of mine since I was able to dream.  It has come with many challenges, from outside voices telling me it was a terrible idea and would take me nowhere in life, to the personal insecurities of feeling different and not being good enough.  I fought to always stay true to myself-to that part of myself that has always been true to me-“the artist”. Ignoring self-doubt and other people’s opinions has been one of the hardest things to do. Once I reached the point in valuing my talent, seeing myself as the person I want to be and not letting the opinions of others define my value, I was able to face these odds and come out on the other side a better human-a better version of myself. Obviously, some challenges cannot be fixed overnight. They require short term goals, baby steps, asking for help from others, change and patience. Fear can find a way of clouding your vision, turn action into procrastination and making situations appear insurmountable, but the truth is, nothing is insurmountable.  It takes a stubborn faith in your vision to turn it into a reality. I am proof that it can be done.

Brianda Summers | Mother of three, Owner of Cultured Soul Henna, Freelance Creative

When faced with a challenge of such magnitude I would tell that person  to remain present. To keep going and to not let the negative self talk  alter your their mood or thoughts .To be in that moment because whether the challenge be small or large there is  always something to be learned. But most of all Keep going! This is not going to last forever you are in charge of your life and your future.

Enny Jaen | Mom, Wife, Speech Therapist

My advice is to have a plan and a vision. There will definitely be obstacles but have a positive attitude and don’t give up. At the end, everything will be worth it. I like to refer to a scripture that always helps me keep going: Matthew 19:26

“WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE”

Nicky McDonald | Boutique Owner, Diane’s Bridal Boutique

Never give up on your dreams and pray to the heavenly father above to guide you and point you in the right direction. I’m a child of god and I believe with him you can do anything.

Chef Dazore Bradford | Owner of Cooking the Details

I believe when something in life isn’t working out or it feels as if you’re having the same reoccurring problem, it means the universe is telling you there is a lesson that needs to be learned. This doesn’t mean you are being punished or the universe is out to get you. It means that you are evolving and growing. The problem that you have is now a problem because you are no longer complacent with your previous situation. Your conscience is basically saying, “Nah that ain’t it anymore. “Insert-your-name-here” we need to do something differently and preferably not this again.

Embrace this. That’s why you feel the itch to make the change. Well, go and make the change. However, somewhere in the process of figuring out what the change needs to be, and then actually making the change we often find ourselves incredibly overwhelmed. The -ish is hitting the fan and we are thinking, ” what in the actual **** is going on?”. If life had a remote control take a moment and hit pause. Ask yourself who am I and who do I want to become? In order to become this person you’ve imagined for yourself, you must leave the person who you currently are behind you. The problems that we face aren’t necessarily our problems. The problem is we’re trying to take on a new challenge with our previous situation mentality.

Our past mindset, beliefs, and habits, most likely work for the current situation you are in (that’s why you’re in it). If we don’t change how can we expect change? Again, ask yourself and imagine who is the person that has overcome the obstacle you’re facing. Do they understand their self-worth? Are they patient with themselves? Are they organized? Outspoken? Consistent? Personally, when I FINALLY figured out what lesson I needed to understand (it took me a hot minute sometimes) my problem didn’t seem as impossible anymore.

Courtney Brogdon | DFW Lifestyle Photographer

I would tell them to JUMP. Push through and never forget that you get to choose how to live your life. No one else gets to gives you permission to give up, just you. So don’t give up. Choose to rise above and remember why you are here. You are worthy and strong enough to do this!

Firefly Gardens | Wedding and Event Venue

Always pick yourself up the next day and keep pushing. Wallowing in doubt only wastes your valuable time and you must remind yourself of why you are putting in so much hard work toward your goals. Even though circumstances get hard when you are running your own business, the only way to be successful is to go the extra mile. Being a business owner takes extreme dedication but it is so rewarding. Take the little accomplishments as victories when you are struggling; You are always achieving more and doing better than you think. It is also important to have a solid support system to uplift you when you are facing challenges that seem insurmountable, in your personal and work life.

Ashley Murphree Tran | Founder | Owner of Verbena Parlor and Social House

Being an entrepreneur and business owner for the past 20 years in various industries, I’ve faced many seemingly insurmountable odds, in business and in my personal life. What has worked best for me is simplifying each situation and viewing it as a tangled ravel of yarn. I pull it apart one section at a time, sorting and assessing them until I can finally reconstruct them into something I can work with. By going through this process, it becomes more resolvable.

I can recall those dark days clearly. I remember being sucked into feelings of debilitation and paralyzation; not knowing how I was going to get myself out of it. I honestly think that I was able to overcome them by setting an outcome or goal, and then dissecting into achievable tasks. After those tasked were set, I forced myself to attack them one at a time. Once I was able to knock one task of my long list, it gave me the confidence to do it again and again. Overtime, I was able to build momentum to get to the final result. I truly believe that success builds on success.

Taquicia Titus | Owner and Creator of Naturally Yours Co.

It will probably sound clichè, but don’t give up. There are times when I have to throw wanted  in the towel but that’s when I realize that I believe in myself enough to see through the difficult times.  Keep pushing through, and keep people around you that are positive influence.

Heather Duke Parr | Color specialist & Travel agent

Behind the chair and in life I’m really good at listening, but I have to admit I’ve not been the best at taking my own advice. I’m a people pleaser and I worry about how everyone else feels and what they think. I’m in my own way ALOT! But here is what I’ve learned.

I had to stop talking about it or thinking about it and change it. My way has always been avoiding, locking myself away from the problem or the people involved.

I became a young mother just before I turned 19 years old. Postpartum depression took me away from him a lot, the feeling that I wasn’t good enough was a daily battle. My parents were disappointed in me all the time, and stepped in for my son. I would go to school from 8 to 5pm and then go to work from 6 to 3am. I saw him maybe twice a week and my mom was spitting mad because I’d often fall asleep beside him, I’m pretty sure they thought I was doing drugs (I wasn’t). I missed out on so much. I was living in a government subsidized apartment and ate crackers and ranch at my waitress job because I couldn’t afford food. I thought to myself many times, is this ever going to get better?

Cut to now, Im married with 3 more children,

I’ve been doing hair for 17 years and have built a full clientele , with a side job that I can do while spending time with my children. I’m not a perfect mom, but I’m there everyday trying, protecting and loving them to the best of my abilities. My parents are proud of me (I think).

Everyone has a story to tell, about how they felt defeated, heartbroken, or even done. Yet here they are smiling and talking you through your troubles because there’s another side of this, there’s hope.

Surround yourself with people that will listen and support you without judgement. My family and friends didn’t like listening to me or seeing me stuck in my sadness, but they did it out of love. Misery does indeed live off of the company at their pity party. Don’t be friends with Misery!

Im so grateful for the setbacks and the broken bits of my story, they’re how I learned from the gut wrenching pain and humiliation of failure. Perfection doesn’t exist, and happiness is subjective.

I know this all sounds like you walked into a power yourself, with yourself, by yourself, for yourself pep rally motivational seminar. But it’s the truth, you have to put in the work and dedication to your job, your situations, and your relationships because no one else is YOU!

I’m convinced that God gave me my husband and children as my reason to try harder everyday.

Find your reason, wake up, and take a deep breath. YOU just did that, you’re alive!

Marshala Calhoun | Braider at Salon 215

When the odds are against you never give up. Being consistent is key, even when you want to give up. Keep going until you reach the level of success that you are aiming for. Never compare yourself with anyone else. You’ve got this!

The post Perspective & Advice for Those Facing Insurmountable Odds Test appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.

source http://voyagedallas.com/2020/01/24/perspective-advice-facing-insurmountable-odds-test/

[jacewilliams1]

Always read the fine print

The latest AOPA Air Safety Institute in-person seminar, “Peaks-to-Pavement… Applying Lessons from the Backcountry,” was a big hit. The crux of the seminar was emphasizing that if certain tactics, techniques, and procedures (TTPs) kept you safe while operating in challenging backcountry conditions, then they’d probably also serve you well in more benign frontcountry flying.

I’d like to share some of my observations; a sort of PIREP summary of what I encountered during my presentations in six states/13 cities. Some caveats: This was not a Bush Pilot 101 course. We made it clear that this wasn’t a comprehensive how-to on backcountry flying, and stressed that pilots should seek qualified instruction before flying in the backcountry.

We also pointed out that the concept of “backcountry” has more to do with the condition of an airstrip, than its actual geographic location. They don’t have to be isolated, one-way in/out, dirt strips, at 9,000 ft MSL in the Rocky Mountains. You can have an airstrip that exhibits a lot of backcountry traits (short/soft/rough, sloped, obstructed takeoff and departure paths, no weather info or services available, etc.), located within earshot of the drive-thru window at your local, sea-level, Burger King.

I always enjoy poking, good-naturedly, at pilots who own their airplanes. It’s my contention that pilots ought to know their planes intimately, and not just from a seat-of-the-pants, stick-and-rudder proficiency standpoint. They should know everything about their plane that is, in fact, critical to their safe, proper, and efficient operation. The most important information is readily available; it’s right there in the Pilot Operating Handbook, or Owner’s/Aircraft Flight Manual.

Read the POH – all of it.

It was pretty obvious that some folks hadn’t cracked open their respective book(s) in a long time. Those who had studied their documents, tended to be familiar with the BIG PRINT stuff, like their Normal Procedures sections and Emergency checklists, but were not so well-versed when it came to the various Notes, Warnings, and Cautions found throughout. There’s a lot of free, but hard-earned, wisdom in that fine print, all intended to protect life and limb.

When it came to aircraft performance-related issues, lots of folks either never, or at least rarely, applied the adjustments/corrections, as directed by the manufacturer.

It was also clear some pilots had been operating (successfully, since they’re still alive and kicking), mostly by using various combinations of ROTs (Rules of Thumb), WOM (Word of Mouth), TLAR (That Looks About Right), etc., and in some cases, the good ol’ WAG (Wild A** Guess)! Since that stuff worked for them so far, and nothing bad had happened yet, they saw no reason to change their behavior.

One of the key areas we focused on was short and/or soft field operations, and all the associated factors that can ambush you. I’d start this discussion with a trick question: “What’s the FAA definition of a short field?”

The answer, of course, is there isn’t one; the pilot decides what is short, and therefore it’s subjective. What may be short for someone flying an ancient Stinson 108 at max gross weight, may not be short for a guy in a featherweight Carbon Cub. Equally as important, what is short for you today, may not be short for you tomorrow (OK, maybe next week), based on your proficiency in short field ops.

Deciding what constitutes a soft field was a bit easier; we generally agreed that anything not paved was soft, although there are certainly some very hard, but unpaved, surfaces.

My next question: “What’s the effect of grass on takeoff and landing distances?”

Most would answer correctly that grass increases takeoff distances, including both ground run and distance to clear the proverbial 50 ft. obstacle. But, by how much made them pause: “It depends; is the grass tall or short, wet or dry?” was a typical, but correct, response.

The answer may, or may not, be found in the performance chart “Notes” section in your plane’s POH. Some aircraft manufacturers direct you to make very specific adjustments to the info you derive from their charts or tables. Others, not so much.

Cessna’s guidance varies from “…on a dry, grass runway, increase takeoff distances [both “ground run” and “total to clear 50 ft. obstacle”] by 7% of the ‘total to clear 50 ft. obstacle’ figure” (1973 Cessna 150 Owner’s Manual) to “…on a dry, grass runway, increase distances by 15% of the ‘ground roll’ figure“ (1976 Cessna Skyhawk Model 172M Pilot’s Operating Handbook.)

Having different correction factors for different airplanes makes sense, because they are different. The danger comes when you arbitrarily apply an adjustment from a previously-owned plane to the one you’re flying right now… and it doesn’t end well.

Beechcraft must not trust pilots to do math; they publish separate charts just for grass surfaces: e.g., “Normal Takeoff Distance-Grass Surface.” However, the really fine print in their Notes section says, “For each 100 pounds below 2750 lbs., reduce tabulated distance by 7% and takeoff speed by 1 mph” (Beechcraft Sierra 200 B24R Pilot’s Operating Handbook). Now that’s some precision flight planning guidance!

Grass can definitely reduce runway performance – but by how much?

By comparison, the Piper Cherokee 140B Owner’s Handbook only provides a vanilla “Take-off Distance vs. Density Altitude” chart, with no guidance on adjustments.

At the extreme end of the manufacturer’s takeoff guidance spectrum, the one POH for all Piper Super Cubs simply states, “Don’t worry about it.” (I’m kidding.)

When it came to landing, a fair number of pilots were adamant that grass decreases landing distances.

No, it doesn’t. At least according to the manufacturers. I got into several heated discussions with folks who swore (while demonstrating it with their hands) that they could drop it in, over a 50 ft. obstacle, plant it firmly, dump the flaps, slam on the brakes, and stop less than 100 feet past the threshold.

I’d like to think I could too, but, for example, the Notes section on the “Short Field Landing Distance at 2550 Pounds” chart for a 180 hp Cessna 172S unequivocally states: “For operation on dry grass, INCREASE distances by 45% of the ‘ground roll’ figure.”

When landing our Cessna 150, the POH guidance is: “For operation on a dry, grass runway, INCREASE distances (both ‘ground roll’ and ‘total to clear 50 ft. obstacle’) by 20% of the ‘total to clear 50 ft. obstacle’ figure.”

Piper doesn’t even address landing on anything other than a “Paved Level Dry Runway, No Wind, Maximum Braking, Short Field Effort,” with power “Off” and 40 degrees of flaps, so it’s up to you to figure out your own correction calculus for any other combination.

Other aircraft’s POHs direct different adjustments; but in all cases, if they address grass landings, they’ll tell you to increase the distances – regardless of your technique.

Of course, the manufacturer is taking into account all the science behind the landing kinetics; boring stuff like mass, inertia, friction coefficients, braking effectiveness on different surfaces, etc. We all believe that with our finely-honed pilot skills, we can do way better than what their data says. But when it comes down to Art vs. Science, the latter usually wins.

My next question: “What are the effects of slope on takeoff and landing distances?” Now, it got really interesting!

Since not all manufacturers address the impact of slope on their specific airplanes, you really must contemplate the guidance that is out there and evaluate the TTPs you’re comfortable with.

Some commonly accepted, generic ROTs for the effects of slope, include the following relationships: a 1% upslope will increase effective takeoff distance by 5%; a 5% upslope will increase effective takeoff distance by 25%. (Note: Don’t ask me to quote a single source; there’s lots of reputable ones out there, including Wolfgang Langewiesche.)

If you further adjust/pad these numbers, or interpolate for a slope somewhere between 1% and 5 %, or greater (yikes!), the math overwhelmingly supports the commonly accepted notion that you “always” takeoff downhill and “always” land uphill.

But “always” isn’t the same as “always, always, always…” because there are times when it may be prudent to do the opposite: takeoff uphill and land downhill. Two of the key variables being wind direction and velocity.

Always land uphill… right?

Understanding the impact wind has on takeoff and landing distances was another area folks seemed content to guess at, instead of applying specific POH guidance.

The Cessna 172S “Short Field Takeoff Distance at 2550 Pounds” chart Notes state: “Decrease distances 10% for each 9 knots headwind.” You could be confronted with a situation where the 5% increase in takeoff distance caused by a 1% upslope, is more than offset by the 10% decrease in distance afforded by a headwind.

Even more interesting, the Notes also add: “For operations with TAIL WINDS up to 10 knots, increase distances by 10% for each 2 knots.”

Although it is absolutely desirable that you always take off and land into the wind, you might not have that option. The manufacturer may provide the data you need to make a pragmatic decision regarding tailwind operations. The real question is: are you comfortable and competent enough to do it? Or the more appropriate question: should you? The best answer might be, “Wait for conditions to improve.”

All these discussions led nicely into the next topic that people tended to guess about, possibly at their peril: can I clear that obstacle off the end of the runway?

Obstacles aren’t always the natural kind (high terrain, tall trees, Bigfoot, etc.); some of the most dangerous ones are man-made (powerlines, towers, bridges, buildings, wind turbines) because we’ve gotten so used to seeing them, they’ve become innocuous. For our discussion, “Spiraling up over the airfield” wasn’t an option; we’ll talk about the impact of density altitude on aircraft performance in another segment.

The concept of flying an Obstacle Departure Procedure (ODP) doesn’t just apply to IFR operations.

The challenge is that ODPs require understanding climb gradient requirements versus rate of climb requirements, and how the two are related. The idea of flying a self-engineered ODP, if required, to escape from an obstructed environment, shouldn’t intimidate anyone – if they know how to do the math.

There are two key ingredients needed to design your own ODP. First, you must calculate your ground speed. Second, you must know how tall and how far away the obstacle is, so you can calculate the climb gradient required; i.e., how many feet per mile you’ve got to climb to clear it.

Since we don’t have climb gradient “Feet per Mile” gauges in our planes, we’ve got to come up with a performance metric we can use: our rate of climb in Feet per Minute.

You don’t need a formal departure procedure to do some basic climb math.

The math is simple: multiply your groundspeed (we’ll use 70 mph), by the climb gradient required (e.g., a mountain ridge, 800 ft. above field elevation, 2 miles away = 400 ft. per mile): 70 X 400 =28,000.

Take the “28,000” number, divide it by 60, and you’ve just come up with 467 feet per minute – the rate of climb required to clear the ridge. Having a vertical speed indicator is a bonus, but if you’re familiar enough with your plane’s performance, you shouldn’t need one.

The bottom line: don’t tempt fate. If you determine that you’ll need to generate a 467 foot-per-minute rate of climb, and on your best day, at sea level, your 65 hp Champ can barely wheeze at 200 feet per minute… don’t even bother starting the engine.

Note: if you want to err on the conservative/safe side, overestimate your groundspeed – that means you’ll be closing on the obstacle quicker and will require a higher rate of climb.

Of course, you can also just cheat and carry the descent/climb tables from a government approach plate book. They’ve done the math for you.

At the End of the Day

Depending on the make, model, and vintage of your airplane, there may not be any useful manufacturer guidance on performance computations. But understanding the basic concepts, like distances on grass increase, not decrease, is important. The exact adjustments required are going to depend on a lot of factors unique to your plane, your techniques, and the conditions. Don’t pick a random rule of thumb and apply it blindly to your circumstances. To paraphrase astronaut Matt Damon in The Martian, you need to “science the poop out of it,” before you’re past the point of no return.

Unfortunately, hope is not a strategy when it comes to flying safe, especially in backcountry conditions, where the margins for error are miniscule, and the consequences of small lapses in judgment, or errors in planning or execution, are usually catastrophic. So, please, always read the fine print.

The post Always read the fine print appeared first on Air Facts Journal.

from Engineering Blog https://airfactsjournal.com/2019/08/always-read-the-fine-print/

[badgerslick]

Badger Slick's Midnight Eruptions - M M Part 6

Dad:  The holidays are almost over. Bloat & Goot are due for their annual paint and slash          appearance. Got any intell I should know about? Lamar:  Bloat wears steel-toed boots. For riding his motorcycle.  Goot, like his oiled-up haired             friends has put metal taps on his loafer bottoms. Clicks when he walks. Thinks it's cool. Dad:  Good conductors for the power grid. They'll hit tonight. Already took down the nativity.         So they know it's now or wait until next year. Lamar:  Are they gonna wait until you kill the lights?   Dad:  I think so. I'm guessing they'll think our guard is down since we'll be taking the rest of the...        Hey, let's take everything down now except for the sleigh, reindeer & Mrs. Claus. Then turn        off the lights early. Lamar:  Good idea. I'll call Badger & Donk to help us. Dad:  We should all be here for the grand finale'. Goot:  Started breakin' down th' holiday displays. Looks lik tey takin' more down now. We           gotta hit t'night! Bloat:  Tey  went inside. Tey leavin' th' sleigh display up t'night. Tear down tomorrow prob'ly. Goot:  We strike when tey turn th' display off. Never know whut hit 'em. Bovine:  Tey sneaky folk. Yous dress dark. Whut y' got t' rip & paint wit? Bloat:  Scissors & yeller spray paint. Goiter:  Be careful wit dat spray can, y' hear?   Goot:  Turned th' lights off early. Time t' roll. Bloat:  So far so good. In th' neighbors side yard. Almost there. Good, tey took th' tinsel down. Goot:  Follow me. Go slow. Thurber:  See two shadows. Wonder who that could be?   Atom:  I hit the lights when they're almost to the display. Dad: I got the grid on. Not enough for them to notice. Badger:  Shhh... I got the next window open for ventilation. I can vaguely hear a radio station in               the yard. Bloat:  Uh...Goot? Goot:  Yeah. Bloat:  You gonna tink I crazy, but I hear music comin' outta you mouth. You feel anythin'? Goot:  It comin' off mah metal fillings. I real confuse. Let's do our ting 'n git. Dad:  The electric grid is acting as a radio antenna thru his metal fillings. Lamar:  I will definitely have to try that at home. First I gotta get metal fillings. I know!  I'll run my             amp to the tuner. Attach a cable to my copper ball antenna on the ceiling. Fill my mouth             with ball bearings! Badger:  If you're lucky, you'll have the loudest mouth speaker on the block. If not, well... Bloat:  Uh...Goot?   Goot:  Whut now?   Bloat:  Could y' open you mouth a little wider?  The weather reports comin' on. Goot:  Damnit Bloat, not now!   Dad:  They're almost to the display. Hit the lights Atom! Goot, Bloat:  Uh...oh...   Dad:  Grid power at max!!! Donk:  Your dad is sooo bad! Goot:  Aiiieee! Aiiieee! Aiiieee! Bloat:  Yiiiiii! Yiiiiii! Yiiiiii! Thurber:  They're jumping like popcorn being popped!   Lamar:  Can't put their feet down, too much voltage!   Mom:  Turn it down!   Dad:  No!   Badger:  Running for their lives!  Goot's mouth is open.. Goot:  'AM radio 850 - looks like more snow...' Bloat:  Keep you mouth open Goot, I wanna know how many inches. Goot:  Damnit Bloat, not now!                                                Nativitly............Badger    

[impvarjack60]

10 After the Fall

Anna was getting into the habit of going outside by herself. I was always in favor of her doing this, I wanted her to be independent. She had loads of energy and she just needed to expel it. But her mind was still child-like, and she needed to go outside and play. While this was adorable, there is always risk.............

_________________________________________________________

It was mid afternoon and I was listening to some Roy Eldridge when I heard it. Snap!, Crack!, Thud. Then the screaming started. I burst through the door nearly knocking it off the hinges. "Anna!, where are..." I didn't even bother to finish the sentence, I only had to follow the screams. "I was playing in the tree when the branch snapped, then this happened." Oh my God, her left radius and ulna had broken and were protruding through the skin, and she was bleeding badly. "Olaf, come quick!" "Yes, Michael, what is..... Oh, dear! Help is on the way." I got to her side, whipped off my pants gather and wrapped it around her arm to slow the bleeding down. I kissed her on the top of her head and said; "It'll be alright, I'm sure they can fix this." "I know Silly, they made me from scratch, an arm should be easy!" She said thru clenched teeth, the pain was making it hard for her to breath. I stifled a laugh, this was still serious, even with their technology. Then the 'what ifs' started and I couldn't hold back the tears. I've never been around someone who's been so seriously injured, and I was feeling a little faint. My eyesight started to blur, it was as if I could feel her pain directly. "Please do not cry for me, I'll be fine, you'll see." Just then a rectangular shape appeared from over the shield wall, flying at great speed, it landed right next to Anna. Olaf said; "Place her on the gurney, and Anna, lie down and stay perfectly still." "OK." I scooped her up as best I could, but every movement had her wincing in pain, tears streaming out of the corners of her eyes. I don't think I've ever experienced a more heart-breaking moment. I placed her as gently as I could manage on the gurney. Then an arm came out from below and scanned Anna's injury. Another arm with what appeared to be a hose sprayed Anna's broken arm with a quick setting foam, encasing and splinting her arm. Straps crossed over her securing her to the gurney. Before she took off I motioned to the scanner to wait, it appeared to know what I wanted. I took her good hand, looked her straight in the eye and said; "I love you, and I want you to return to me as soon as possible." "I have always loved you." She said very weakly, then the shield on the gurney went up, and it took off with such speed that it cracked like thunder. "Olaf, I want to be able to communicate with her." "I shall prepare another orb." "And Olaf, I want her returned to me, don't just make another one and toss her out with the trash. Do you hear me?! If I don't get her back, I'll be able to tell, and I swear, I'll plow this bucket into a star if I don't see her again." "I'll do what I can, and don't worry Michael, this kind of damage is well within our capability to repair." "Just see to it that I can speak to her." "Understood." then Olaf flew away over the shield wall, and I was alone.

_________________________________________________________

I got inside to a record that was clicking away in the deadwax, apparently some time had elapsed. It felt like an eternity, and it was starting to get late, but I just laid there on the couch, starring at the ceiling. I had forgotten to eat, but I couldn't even tell I had a stomach. They had won. They wanted me to fall in love with her and they succeeded. If this had been on Earth, I'd be right there by her side, trying to comfort her. They don't trust us yet, but I have to trust them, to treat her with dignity, and not like some toaster that you throw away because the cord went bad. Olaf finally returned and said; "I have communications established, would you like to speak with her?" "Um, duh, Olaf." "Go ahead Anna." "Hey there, Silly Pants! it's me, and I'm alright, well, most of me anywho." "Thank God!, Anna, you're OK. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" "Pretty good actually, this thing on my arm where it used be keeps me from feeling anything." "Um...used to be?" "That's right, Silly Buns. They just took it off, said the damage was just too great." "You don't seem that upset." I was ready to pass out at this point. "Why should I be? They'll just grow another one, but it'll be a couple of weeks before it's ready. They said I can come home tomorrow if I want to, but I'll need some help, and you can just call me 'Stumpy'." "I can't think of anything else I'd rather do." "Anything?!" "Anything. Goodnight my love." "Goodnight Michael, I love you. End transmission." I smiled and a tear formed in my eye. Even in tragedy she was warm and sweet,... and funny. Her sing-song voice still lingering in my ears. Olaf said; "Is there anything else I can do for you Michael?" "No Olaf, I think you've done quite enough for today." "I shall take my leave then, goodnight Michael." "Goodnight Olaf, and thanks again." "My pleasure." He went into his cubby and powered down. "Lights." then the house went dark, and I could finally rest, what a long day.

_________________________________________________________

"Anna will be arriving within one quarter of an hour, Michael." "Thank you, Olaf." I could feel the knots twisting in my stomach, I really didn't know what to expect. When I was young, I never even got any stitches. Much less any broken bones. She is still such a child, 'playing in the tree'. What was she thinking? But that's Anna, she wasn't thinking. She was the nine year old child, standing on the back seat of her bicycle, going down a spiral staircase. Bravery is just another form of stupidity. When you're smart, you analyze everything. If I climb this tree, the limb wouln't support my weight, and I'll fall. That's what the logical mind does. All Anna saw was a birds nest, or some pretty leaf that she needed to see up close, and she could've died.

Now I have to be a parent, and scold her for being so careless, when all I wanted to do is give her a hug, and tell her how glad I am that she's still alive. This is such a mess, I was never a parent for a good reason, I would've been lousy at it, now I have to do it with someone who should already be at a more advanced stage of intellectual development. Second chances. I've been given a second chance on life. To get it right this time, and that's what's going to have to happen with Anna. Maybe I'll use that somehow. ________________________________________________________ "The shuttle will be landing in the clearing soon, Michael, we should make our way there." "We?" "You do not want me to join you?" "It's OK, Olaf. I'm just messin' with ya." I actually would have liked this to be a private moment. But privacy is non-existent here, and I don't know if Olaf was capable of having feelings for Anna, but he did show concern once he realized what happened yesterday. As the shuttle approached, she was trying to get the gate open before it touched the ground. Which was proving to be difficult for her, as they had placed her on a left hand sided seat, and it was her left arm that was missing. She favored her left, so I assumed she was a south paw. This will make her life difficult for the next few weeks. As soon as it was down she burst out running up to me and hugged me with what she had, a rather plain looking metal cap over what was left of her arm, they cut it off about fifteen centimeters past the shoulder. "I missed you so much, Michael." "I missed you too, Anna, but it's barely been a day." I didn't want to let her go. When she got on that gurney yesterday, I couldn't help but think it would be the last time I'd see her. We walked back to the domicile while I held her hand, her only hand. "So how was the food?" I just wanted to create some idle banter, anything to strike back the emotions I was feeling at the moment. "It was awful, basically some goop in a cup, it was supposed to meet all my nutritional requirements, but I needed chocolate!" "I'll be sure to fix that once we get home." We... home... us... together. We were becoming the start of a family. I almost wish we could have a baby now. But 'Stumpy' still has some growing do to, and she still has to be activated yet, that is something the Masters have control of, and for now, it's probably in our best interest. Especially when the love of your life likes to climbs trees. Speaking of which,...... "When we get back, we need to have a serious talk." I gave her the fatherly voice, I had no idea if I got it right. "I know, I was careless, and I'm sorry." She at least sounded sincere. But knowing Anna....

_________________________________________________________

"Chocolate chip cookies, six, recipe 1A. Two glasses milk, bovine, 5 degrees Celsius." I set our snacks down on the coffee table, as she reached out for the cookies, my speech stopped her dead in her tracks. "Now Anna, what you did yesterday was very foolish, and you could've died. What if we didn't have access to this technology? I would have had to cut your arm off myself, how do think I would have felt if I had to do that?" The wheels were turning in her head, and her eyes welled up. She was thinking about the consequences of her actions. "I'm sorry, I never looked at it that way. I was just doing what I wanted to do." "That's the thing Anna, actions have consequences, and part of being an adult is thinking about what happens when we do things and there's the possibility of something going wrong. But I don't want to keep you from being you. Maybe if you want to climb trees, we can come up with some type of safety equipment, like a sling or something. Hey.. I know,... once you have a fully functional arm again, why don't we build a tree house? You'll get your climbing jones satisfied, we'll have a place to go to observe the habitat, and we'll have the fun of building it,... together." "Really!?, that sounds like fun!, and thanks for understanding me." She slid across the couch to give me a hug and a peck on the cheek, then reached trepidatously for the cookies, seeing if at this point if it was all right. "Yes, you can now have some cookies." physically, we were the same age, intellectually, we were decades apart. On Earth, we would've been seen as the happy couple. In this reality, I was her father. This had all the trappings of another test. What if something,... or someone broke that branch in that tree? Would they go so far as to hurt her to see how I'd react? I never told her I loved her till yesterday, and honestly, I wasn't sure how I felt, till the thought of her being gone crossed my mind, and how devastated I'd be without her. They needed a breeding pair. That's what we are. I just hope she matures quickly. The idea of having sex with her is somewhat creepy at this point, but I now have the sex drive that comes with this new body, and with her inability to produce offspring, we could go at it like rabbits with no consequences. Plus the fact that we're most likely mated for life, I can't see any downside to this. Then she looks at me with a milk mustache, and chocolate on her face along with a big smile. Ugh,... talk about mixed emotions.

[cynthiadshaw]

Perspective & Advice for Those Facing Insurmountable Odds

Throughout our journey with Voyage, the one thing we have learned over and over is that hidden within every challenge is a blessing or opportunity. It’s up to us to determine whether a challenge we face will be a step back or the catalyst for a step forward.

We had the honor of connecting with some of the city’s brightest leaders and role models and we asked them our question of the month: What is the best advice you have for someone who feels like they are facing insurmountable odds.

Below, you’ll find their advice and links and other info so you can learn more about them, their work and how to connect with them. We’ll be interviewing many of these amazing individuals in the coming weeks, stay tuned.

Jolene Hayes | Natural Hair Artist

My best advice for someone who feels like they’re facing insurmountable odds is to “Just Keep Living.”  We must accept that each day will have its own set of challenges.  We must acknowledge our feelings when those challenges leave us with unsavory options & make choices that most positively fit the circumstances, not our feelings.  Each day you wake facing insurmountable odds, do what is possible to keep living for that day.  Also, if you don’t believe in God or a higher power, choose to believe in & think on the things that give you hope & keep living.

Website: https://jolene.as.me/  Instagram: @jo_lenegbnhc

  Kathy Pitts | Owner Of Magpie and Bobbin

My best advice is to pause, pray about it, take it minute by minute, hour by hour or day by day and know that no matter what, there’s a reason for it and every challenge makes you who you are!

Website: http://www.magpieandbobbin.com/ Instagram: @magpieandbobbin

Melissa Aguilera-Nambo | Mom, Artist, & upcoming Photo/Video Editor

Image by: @ish323

There’s beauty in the struggle,” sums up my advice to all. In the face of adversity once must have the confidence and perseverance to never lose sight of the goal and the only way to get there is to get through it, go through it and feel through it. Write down and break down all your obstacles, knock out smallest first and go from there, it really helps ease off the stress if you can visually see what you’re up against. And most importantly don’t forget to enjoy it, try to see the bright side of each challenge, find out what each stepping stone is trying to teach you, you know what they say “life is our greatest teacher,” so allow yourself to be taught.

Instagram: @aguileranambo

Franky J | Master Barber Instructor

My best advice for someone who feels like there facing insurmountable odds is to stop everything and focus on there mental wellness, find a hobby or even time to relax and meditate so  you can get your thoughts together and organized what is needed to be done to get out from the set backs or problems there facing. Mental health followed by physical health are the most important factors  to reach productivity, positivity and the will to fight back from the obstacles that we face so we can reach our goal and become a better and successful person.

Facebook: @ Pro Fades Barber Academy Instagram: @ProFadesBarberAcademy

Bella Cavalli Events | Unique Wedding and Event Venue

If you find yourself facing insurmountable odds, break down the problem into very small tasks, take each task one day at a time and make small accomplishments. And hopefully you will gain a sense of achievement and the odds against you seem to fade away. Also surround yourself with very smart people who have answers to the question and problems you yourself may not have.

Website: www.bellacavallievents.com Facebook: facebook.com/bellacavallievents Instagram: @bellacavallievents Pinterest: pinterest.com/bellacavallievents

No Label Co & Me | The Owner

If We Decided To Give Up Everytime Things Got Hard We Would Have No Accolades To Share With Our Children Or Milestones To Be Proud Of For Ourselves. Regardless Of What Religion You Subscribe To Life Is Simply All About Cause & Affect. Every Decision We Make Leads Us To Where We Are Now. So How Do You Want Your Life’s Story To Be Written When You Are Gone? Mine Won’t Be Written As A Quitter Rather Someone Who May Not Have Succeeded At Somethings But Tried & That’s More Than Other Can Say If They Hadn’t Tried At All.

Instagram: @nolabelco_ Website: https://depop.com/mhdr1218

Anastasia Marie | Virtual Assistant & YouTuber

Honestly, it is ALL about positivity and positive energy. We are all dealt different hands during our journey in life. We all deal with them in different ways. I always try to look at the positive side of the obstacle I am faced with. I mentally think bout how can the situation make me a better person or what I have learned from it all. One saying I always remember when I am going through a tough time that seems impossible to overcome is, “Every setback is a setup for a COMEBACK!”

Instagram: @_stasithamommi

Kaleigh Kirkpatrick | Founder and Luxury Travel Advisor of the Shameless Tourist

We’d love to include your response to the following question with the photo: What is the best advice you have for someone who feels like they are facing insurmountable odds?— “Just Keep Swimming!  Keep moving forward and stay focused.  The tides will turn, don’t give up.”

Website: http://www.theshamelesstourist.com/ Intagram: @shamelesstourist

Brandon Correia | Owner of Bright Guys, LLC and Freelance Photographer

Let your faith be larger than your fear. This too shall pass. Your success rate on getting through tough days is 100% thus far!

Instagram:@brandosphotoz Website: BrightGuysSecurity.com

Samantha Frederick | Mother, Entrepreneur and Artist

Image by: Arturo Cantu

If your facing odds that seem to be to great to overcome this may be, you won’t know if you don’t try. Try hard and if you fail at least you tried, knowing that you did everything you thought you could will give you new strength and knowledge to try again or to do something different. We win some and loose some but I think we actually win a little either way. I have found being the minority in my industry has actually helped me to stand out. There is an abundance of fantastic male tattoo artists, many get overlooked. There are much less well known established female tattoo artists. I will keep using this to my advantage and continue to work hard to better my parenting, business skills and craft. No matter what happens I won’t be able to say I wish I had tried harder. I will give it my all.

Website: http://www.depictiontattoo.com/, http://www.tattoocollectorsexpo.com/ Instagram: @Sami_lynne

Vive Musa | A Latina Community in DFW

The best advice we give is to always face a challenge with an open mindset. We tend to forget what we as humans are truly capable of and give up when we are faced by a difficult event. Be relentless. Find the courage to continue pushing and know that this will only make you stronger.

Instagram: @vive_musa

Scarllett Cuadra | Home Decor & DIY

Every difficult battle I’ve faced has made me a stronger person and left me a life lesson. If you are going through a challenging time, stay calm, and don’t make decisions lightly. Surround yourself with family and friends; they can offer a piece of good advice. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you need it. Sooner or later, everything comes to an end.

Instagram: @deco_azul_handmade @deco_azul_home

Monte Feagin | Color and Retexturizing Specialist

IG: @lillykphotography Model’s credit: @georgiastarnes

The capability and power to overcome is within is all, so put down your prayer beads and actually get to work. If you happen to fail, find purpose in your failure.

Instagram: @thecolorpusher Website: hairstorydallas.com

Shannon Perry | Independent Health Coach

First, Meditate & stretch, repeat. Second, Grab a pen (Not just any pen tho. I recommend A silver cross pen…..I hope They make rose or 22 k gold One soon) and paper (composition book $.91). Write down & # 1 thru 10 down page leaving space between each #. Start with most pressing items to least. Write next to each item a time frame to accomplish/finish. Make a cup of tea and stretch again & do some deep breathe work. Manifest and visualize which items need your attention right now. Get busy.

Website: www.shannonperry.co Instagram:@shannonp_healthcoach

Jordan Combs | Motherhood and Lifestyle blogger

I want to first look at the meaning of the word insurmountable. The definition is: too great to overcome. And that is where I say: you are stronger than you think and you are an overcomer. I have truly wondered many times in my life if the “giant” I was facing was just too great but I can say: “I overcame them all.” And for me, it was with the help of the Lord. I love the analogy of the oyster and its pearl: Pearls are the product of pain and when it gets pricked by a piece of sand it creates a healing fluid which in turn creates a pearl. Without the adversity, the pearl would never have been formed. Whatever valley you are in or whatever mountain you are climbing, take it one step at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time. Take your thoughts captive and speak truth to the fear that wants to cripple you. Have faith and remember there is nobody like you in this world. You are unique, you are loved and you have a purpose!

Instagram: @the.chadlets

Jill Boyle | Owner of Davis & Grey Farms

Image by: Hunter Sky Photography

When facing insurmountable odds I always try to do a few things to change how I view the mountain I’m staring at. First, I pray that God would change my perspective. I have learned over the years, no matter the difficulty that I might be facing – there is someone walking through something much harder than I am. Also, by shifting my perspective it allows me to understand that this moment or this season will not last forever.

The last thing I do is dare to hope.

Hope that the sun will shine tomorrow.

Hope that the hard work I’m putting in will pay off, because nothing worth having comes easy.

Hope that the dreams that have been placed in my heart are for something great.

As long as you cling to Hope, you can face anything.

Website: www.davisandgreyfarms.com Instagram: @davisandgreyfarms Facebook: Facebook.com/davisandgreyfarms

Yvonne Ochieng | Founder & Owner LEAFBERRI Co

The Journey to get LEAFBERRI of the ground has presented itself with many obstacles along the way. I have learnt to face every step of the way by first praying for guidance and wisdom. I have also learnt to be patient and pace myself to avoid being overwhelmed. I look at every obstacle as a learning opportunity to grow and build on my resilience and desire to take LEAFBERRI to the next level. What joy I derive when I am able to accomplish a defined task and move to the next level.

Facebook: https://fb.me/ilovepurpletea Instagram: @leafberri Email: info@leafberri.com Website: www.leafberri.com

Jeremy Williams | Owner of Quality Casual Hat Co

Image by: Stephon Lathom: Instagram @stephthephotog3 https://www.instagram.com/stephthephotog3/

The best advice I can give to a person facing insurmountable odds is to remember a couple of things and those things are that there’s never going to be anything placed on you that you can’t handle. Remember you’ve been equipped with the right weapons to fight every battle that comes your way. Another thing to remember is that things always have a way of working themselves out, you just have to stay the course. It may take an hour, a day, a week, or even years, but stay the course and you’ll see that those insurmountable odds will work themselves out because tough times don’t last, tough people do. Many people like to say that time heals all wounds, but really time is not the healer, it is the revealer of the healing that only God can do.

Instagram: @qualitycasualhatco Website: www.qualitycasualhatco.comhttps://qualitycasualhatco.com/ Facebook: @qualitycasualhatco Email: sales@qualitycasualhatco.com

Ellyn Amador | Architect

Image by: Kendall Stoy

Define your goal and break it down into small,  more acheivable steps.  Focus on and work each step independently so as to not become overwhelmed by the overall goal.  Reach out for help when you feel you don’t have all the information you need.   Try and identify areas where you might be limiting yourself unnecessarily.   Lastly, talk about your goal.  You would be amazed how much other people want to help someone acheive their dream!

Website: http://ellynamador.com/

Lindsay Ramon | Lead Artist & Studio Manager at Painting with a Twist/Frisco

Image by: Amanda Evans

Being an artist has been a dream of mine since I was able to dream.  It has come with many challenges, from outside voices telling me it was a terrible idea and would take me nowhere in life, to the personal insecurities of feeling different and not being good enough.  I fought to always stay true to myself-to that part of myself that has always been true to me-“the artist”. Ignoring self-doubt and other people’s opinions has been one of the hardest things to do. Once I reached the point in valuing my talent, seeing myself as the person I want to be and not letting the opinions of others define my value, I was able to face these odds and come out on the other side a better human-a better version of myself. Obviously, some challenges cannot be fixed overnight. They require short term goals, baby steps, asking for help from others, change and patience. Fear can find a way of clouding your vision, turn action into procrastination and making situations appear insurmountable, but the truth is, nothing is insurmountable.  It takes a stubborn faith in your vision to turn it into a reality. I am proof that it can be done.

Website: www.Paintingwithatwist.com/Frisco Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paintingwithatwist.frisco/ Instagram: @paintingwithatwist.frisco

Cultured Soul Henna, Freelance Creative

Image by: DespaiKIKI

When faced with a challenge of such magnitude I would tell that person  to remain present. To keep going and to not let the negative self talk  alter your their mood or thoughts .To be in that moment because whether the challenge be small or large there is  always something to be learned. But most of all Keep going! This is not going to last forever you are in charge of your life and your future.

Instagram:@culturedsoulhenna Facebook: @ Culture soul henna

Enny Jaen | Mom, Wife, Speech Therapist

My advice is to have a plan and a vision. There will definitely be obstacles but have a positive attitude and don’t give up. At the end, everything will be worth it. I like to refer to a scripture that always helps me keep going: Matthew 19:26

“WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE”

Website: https://www.etsy.com/shop/JaenCo?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

Nicky McDonald | Boutique Owner, Diane’s Bridal Boutique

Never give up on your dreams and pray to the heavenly father above to guide you and point you in the right direction. I’m a child of god and I believe with him you can do anything.

Website:www.dianesbridalboutique.com Phone:  682-593-0498 Instagram: @dianesbboutique Facebook: DianesBridal DFW

Chef Dazore Bradford | Owner of Cooking the Details

I believe when something in life isn’t working out or it feels as if you’re having the same reoccurring problem, it means the universe is telling you there is a lesson that needs to be learned. This doesn’t mean you are being punished or the universe is out to get you. It means that you are evolving and growing. The problem that you have is now a problem because you are no longer complacent with your previous situation. Your conscience is basically saying, “Nah that ain’t it anymore. “Insert-your-name-here” we need to do something differently and preferably not this again.

Embrace this. That’s why you feel the itch to make the change. Well, go and make the change. However, somewhere in the process of figuring out what the change needs to be, and then actually making the change we often find ourselves incredibly overwhelmed. The -ish is hitting the fan and we are thinking, ” what in the actual **** is going on?”. If life had a remote control take a moment and hit pause. Ask yourself who am I and who do I want to become? In order to become this person you’ve imagined for yourself, you must leave the person who you currently are behind you. The problems that we face aren’t necessarily our problems. The problem is we’re trying to take on a new challenge with our previous situation mentality.

Our past mindset, beliefs, and habits, most likely work for the current situation you are in (that’s why you’re in it). If we don’t change how can we expect change? Again, ask yourself and imagine who is the person that has overcome the obstacle you’re facing. Do they understand their self-worth? Are they patient with themselves? Are they organized? Outspoken? Consistent? Personally, when I FINALLY figured out what lesson I needed to understand (it took me a hot minute sometimes) my problem didn’t seem as impossible anymore.

Website: www.cookingthedetails.com Instagram: @cookingthedetails Facebook: Cooking the Details

Courtney Brogdon | DFW Lifestyle Photographer

I would tell them to JUMP. Push through and never forget that you get to choose how to live your life. No one else gets to gives you permission to give up, just you. So don’t give up. Choose to rise above and remember why you are here. You are worthy and strong enough to do this!

Website: www.courtneybrogdonphotography.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/courtneybrogdonphotography Instagram: @courtneybrogdonphotography

Firefly Gardens | Wedding and Event Venue

Image by: Jason and Laurie Photography

Always pick yourself up the next day and keep pushing. Wallowing in doubt only wastes your valuable time and you must remind yourself of why you are putting in so much hard work toward your goals. Even though circumstances get hard when you are running your own business, the only way to be successful is to go the extra mile. Being a business owner takes extreme dedication but it is so rewarding. Take the little accomplishments as victories when you are struggling; You are always achieving more and doing better than you think. It is also important to have a solid support system to uplift you when you are facing challenges that seem insurmountable, in your personal and work life.

Website:https://www.fireflygardensvenue.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/FireflyGardensMidlothian/ Instagram: @fireflygardens Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/fireflygardens/

Ashley Murphree Tran | Founder | Owner of Verbena Parlor and Social House

Being an entrepreneur and business owner for the past 20 years in various industries, I’ve faced many seemingly insurmountable odds, in business and in my personal life. What has worked best for me is simplifying each situation and viewing it as a tangled ravel of yarn. I pull it apart one section at a time, sorting and assessing them until I can finally reconstruct them into something I can work with. By going through this process, it becomes more resolvable.

I can recall those dark days clearly. I remember being sucked into feelings of debilitation and paralyzation; not knowing how I was going to get myself out of it. I honestly think that I was able to overcome them by setting an outcome or goal, and then dissecting into achievable tasks. After those tasked were set, I forced myself to attack them one at a time. Once I was able to knock one task of my long list, it gave me the confidence to do it again and again. Overtime, I was able to build momentum to get to the final result. I truly believe that success builds on success.

Instagram: @verbenaparlor Website: TryRegi.com

Taquicia Titus | Owner and Creator of Naturally Yours Co.

It will probably sound clichè, but don’t give up. There are times when I have to throw wanted  in the towel but that’s when I realize that I believe in myself enough to see through the difficult times.  Keep pushing through, and keep people around you that are positive influence.

Instagram: @naturallyyoursco Website: www.naturallyyoursco.com

Heather Duke Parr | Color specialist & Travel agent

Behind the chair and in life I’m really good at listening, but I have to admit I’ve not been the best at taking my own advice. I’m a people pleaser and I worry about how everyone else feels and what they think. I’m in my own way ALOT! But here is what I’ve learned.

I had to stop talking about it or thinking about it and change it. My way has always been avoiding, locking myself away from the problem or the people involved.

I became a young mother just before I turned 19 years old. Postpartum depression took me away from him a lot, the feeling that I wasn’t good enough was a daily battle. My parents were disappointed in me all the time, and stepped in for my son. I would go to school from 8 to 5pm and then go to work from 6 to 3am. I saw him maybe twice a week and my mom was spitting mad because I’d often fall asleep beside him, I’m pretty sure they thought I was doing drugs (I wasn’t). I missed out on so much. I was living in a government subsidized apartment and ate crackers and ranch at my waitress job because I couldn’t afford food. I thought to myself many times, is this ever going to get better?

Cut to now, Im married with 3 more children,

I’ve been doing hair for 17 years and have built a full clientele , with a side job that I can do while spending time with my children. I’m not a perfect mom, but I’m there everyday trying, protecting and loving them to the best of my abilities. My parents are proud of me (I think).

Everyone has a story to tell, about how they felt defeated, heartbroken, or even done. Yet here they are smiling and talking you through your troubles because there’s another side of this, there’s hope.

Surround yourself with people that will listen and support you without judgement. My family and friends didn’t like listening to me or seeing me stuck in my sadness, but they did it out of love. Misery does indeed live off of the company at their pity party. Don’t be friends with Misery!

Im so grateful for the setbacks and the broken bits of my story, they’re how I learned from the gut wrenching pain and humiliation of failure. Perfection doesn’t exist, and happiness is subjective.

I know this all sounds like you walked into a power yourself, with yourself, by yourself, for yourself pep rally motivational seminar. But it’s the truth, you have to put in the work and dedication to your job, your situations, and your relationships because no one else is YOU!

I’m convinced that God gave me my husband and children as my reason to try harder everyday.

Find your reason, wake up, and take a deep breath. YOU just did that, you’re alive!

Instagram and Facebook: @heatherdukehair

Marshala Calhoun | Braider at Salon 215

When the odds are against you never give up. Being consistent is key, even when you want to give up. Keep going until you reach the level of success that you are aiming for. Never compare yourself with anyone else. You’ve got this!

Instagram: @itstime2bu, @marshalabraids Facebook: marshala braids Website: Marshalabraids.com

The post Perspective & Advice for Those Facing Insurmountable Odds appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.

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