#i have to remember they have only been on this earth for five yrs but omg

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Back in Time P.1 ⏳| Agent K/MIB Imagine

An AU of MiB—takes place during MIB3

Part 2 | my masterlists

Characters & Pairings: Agent K x MiB agent!reader (romantic)

Content warnings: fluff, profanity, angst, mentions of death, violence, age gape (read the note below), cannon divergence, suggestive themes, shitty realities women & queer had to go through in the 60s, friends/strangers-to-lovers | female!reader (she/her) | wc 9.3k

Premise: The universe was full of secrets. Y/I learned that in 1997 when she signed her name on the dotted line, swearing her life to MiB with the promise to protect all life: humans and visitors alike. But her world flips upside down in 2012, when the secrets her longtime partner K come knocking at their door. Leading Agent Y/I to go on a wild goose chase to 1969 and employ a young K to stop a madman from killing him...but he doesn't know that just yet.

Note: disclaimer I do not own MiB or the characters mentioned, This is fanfic for fun and while most of the scenes are from the MiB movies I did change most of the dialogue for Y/I. ALSO here is the whole age-gap thing: K was born in 1940, reader born in 1964--24 yr age gap (I know I said I’d never do large age gaps more than 10+ years but this is one exception.) In 1997 K is 57, reader is 33. In 2002 K is 62, reader is 38. In 2012 K is 72, reader is 48. In 1969 K is 29, reader is 48, young reader is 5. Your Initial = Y/I, Y/h/c = your hair color, y/e/c = your eye color. In the movie Boris killed on July 15th, 1969, changed this to July 11th 1969.

Y/I = Your First Initial. Y/h/c = Your Hair Color

————————

2012

The last thing Y/I expected when she woke up that morning and headed into HQ was she’d be the only one to remember her grumpy, always serious, and sometimes melodramatic partner, Agent K. The man who showed her there was more than what meets the eyes in the stars of the night sky. A shooting star? More like the source of a new arrival. As humans were not the only ones to call Earth their home.

Aliens walked among them.

Y/I remembered it like it was yesterday. One minute she’s chasing a culprit in New York as Detective Y/n L/n of the NYPD, the next she’s being fitted in a black suit, identity wiped across all government systems, donning only her initial, Y/I. From there her life turned a complete 180.

Over the course of their 15-year partnership there was never a dull moment. Well 10 years actually when you count the fact the first five years of Y/I career was without K. They’d safely captured the galaxy and disposed of the bug in 1997, her first job after K recruited her. Then he goes saying he wants to retire and orders Y/I to nueralize him. The next five years Y/I went through partners like clockwork. Unable to connect to one like K and neuralzing them left and right.

It just wasn’t the right fit. Which confused the woman greatly because they had literally been partners for a week. Surely anyone else could fit the role. But for some reason Y/I butted heads with everyone Zed set her up with.

Then in 2002 all leads at finding the Light of Zartha points back to K, causing Y/I to recruit him back to MIB and remind him of the life he once had. Of course the task was better said than done. K was as stubborn and cynical even without his MIB persona, believing to have been in a coma for 35 years.

Y/I wanted to strangle him the second he got his memory back. Furious to discover the bastard had neuralized himself so he’d forget where he put the Light of Zartha. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Of course K had a plan. He always did. Which was annoying for the young agent since he hardly ran his ideas past her before going through with them. Honestly Y/I believed K was betting on luck half the time.

But who was she to complain when it always worked in their favor.

The most downright awkward moment between the two happened during their high speed chase trying to get Serleena off their trail. K, forgetting he’d been away from MIB for five years and that the cars were newly modeled, pressed the red button causing them to go into hypersonic mode. And Laura, who Y/I had been casually seeing over the course of the investigation and had grown rather affectionate of the beautiful woman, got to witness it all from the backseat.

“Okay here we go automatic pilot,” K fiddled with the controller resembling one that belonged to a playstation before pressing a button, prompting a decoy to pop out in front of K. Unfortunately, a decoy was all it was. Not taking control of the ship at all causing K to lean over with annoyance plastered on his face. “It is not automatic pilot.”

“He doesn’t operate at hyperspeed,” Y/n’s gave an ‘I told you so,’ face.

“I could really use a steering wheel!”

“Tough luck we don’t have a steering wheel! This is what we got,” her hand gestured to control, reaching over to press the button removing the decoy. K threw his hands up in defeat. Y/I huffed, “didn’t your mother ever get you a GameBoy?”

“What is a GameBoy?!”

Sweet Jesus she couldn’t believe it. What’s a GameBoy? Did this man live under a rock? She was going to have to change that. Bringing her finger up in a stern point, Y/I ordered the man, “You know what, move.” K’s jaw dropped in a ‘O’. “Move!”

And before either had the time to process, Y/I lifted herself off the seat, swung her leg over and straddled K. His eyes practically bulged out of his head, hands going to her hips. The action made her jolt forward, yelping as her thighs pressed against his and feeling something brush against her groin. They both froze, eyes locking as Y/I heard K gulp.

Oh. Fire ignited in the agent. Migrating all the way to her face she prayed didn’t show. K was packing.

Instantly she leaned against the door, pushing the man to get the hint and he quickly ushered himself over the middle console. Face red like a tomato. When they both got situated the car was completely silent. K adjusting his tie while Y/I took hold of the joystick and cleared her throat.

“Alright then.”

Luckily, for her sanity, everything worked out. Serleena indisposed, New York saved once again from a homicidal maniac, and Y/I got her partner back. Only downside was having to say goodbye to Laura, who’d been revealed to be the long lost princess and, quite literally, the Light of Zartha. K was kind enough to give Y/I and Laura a moment to say goodbye. And when a lone tear fell from Y/I’s eyes watching the spaceship ascend to the skies, K was there with a tissue and comforting hand.

They never talked about that moment in the car. And frankly Y/I wanted to erase the memory of her mounting K while at Hyperspeed from her mind. Even half tempted to neuralize herself. But as much as it mortified her, Y/I felt a bit giddy. A bit of her ego boosted at making K speechless….and a bit more.

Her mind quickly shot that down. Remembering this man was her partner--who she went to extreme lengths for to get back--her superior once K got settled back at MIB, and the tiny fact he was a whole generation older than her. Literally. When she did the math it was almost 25 years between them.

Now Y/I had nothing against older men. She loved a silver fox as much as any other, and honestly preferred them to guys younger than her. At the bars she drew them in like wildfire. Never having to pay for her drinks. Then when she was 25 still a detective Y/I had a two year relationship with a man 12 years her senior.

But this was K. They’d really only known each other for maybe a week during that whole bug debacle before the shit with Serleena. It would be highly unprofessional.

Though she can’t lie. The man looked good in his 60s.

Ten years later the two were MIB’s best duo when it came to handling extraterrestrial business and keeping the world safe from unwanted visitors. Y/I with her charm and K with his quick wit, they were unstoppable.

“Don’t worry, K, you can sit this one out,” she’d tease, adjusting the cuffs of her suit with a confident smile. “I got this.”

He’d match her grin, “sure you do, slick.” Then he’d start walking and get right to work leaving her behind.

“Are you ever going to let me drive?”

“Maybe next year.”

“You said that last year, K.”

“I did?” his feigned confusion with a shrug, “Hmm don’t recall.” Like always, he was met with her groan, hearing her head fall back against the seat in defeat.

“I’ll have you know I’m an excellent driver, K.”

He chuckled under his breath, casting a brief glance, “Don’t doubt it, sweetheart, now call Zed and let him know we’re on the way back.”

What could go wrong? Apparently everything.

They’d been on a job the previous night. Investigating Wu’s following suspicious activity and K wasn’t acting like his usual self. On edge, behaving in ways Y/I kept wondering what had crawled up his ass.Then all hell broke loose causing them to lose each other at one point. When Y/I finally made it to the roof, out of breath and in desperate need of a drink, she discovered K wasn’t alone. Greeted with an alien named Boris the Animal.

And he was not the happy camper. In fact, he broke out of prison just to hunt K down.

Later on K vaguely explained the history between him and Boris. “I should’ve killed him,” were his exact words, surprising the agent. She’d always known K to be the man to see all life as precious. He’d take the risk in apprehending a suspect rather than putting them down. Boris, however, did not fall under that.

The night ended with K pulling a play out of left field by suspending Y/I for four weeks when she refused to let go of not pursuing Boris. Who’s arrival shook K to his core. Quite literally. And when he called her that night to say, “you know what the most destructive force in the universe is?”

“Sugar,” Y/I sarcastically replied, not really in the mood.

“Regret.”

She went silent for a moment, “You don’t have to wait. Just talk.”

“I promised you the secrets of the universe nothing more,” K reminded her, making the woman roll her eyes in frustration.

“So what, K? There’s secrets out there the universe doesn’t know about? How can we be partners if you can’t even trust me?” When he didn’t answer, Y/I had enough and hung up. Unaware the man on the other end was holding himself together. So desperately wishing he could tell her the truth. The whole truth.

Falling asleep not long later, Y/n woke the next morning like any other day. Completed her morning routine, whipped up some breakfast and nursed a cup of chocolate milk. Something she hadn’t had since grade school but got the sudden crave for. Slicked back her mix match hair into a tidy bun, gave one last look in the mirror to make sure her suit was nice and tidy before heading out the door.

The entire journey to headquarters felt weird. Unexplainable really. A dreaded feeling in Y/I’s chest on the verge of making her physically sick. But what was it?

When she arrived at HQ Y/I was greeted in the elevator by a man she didn’t recognize, but somehow knew her. Saying he was Agent AA and they’d been partners for a while sending Y/I into a frenzy, “I have no idea who you are, and we are certainly not partners. Where’s K?”

“Who’s K?”

“Who’s K?” she repeated, making him flinch by her sudden shout. “You know who I’m talking about. K! Agent K--the best MIB has ever seen. He’s my partner--My K!” Y/I pushed based AA to frantically search for K. Anxiety rose each time she asked a passing agent where he was and they said they had no clue who she was talking about. “K!” she kept calling for him, saying how it wasn’t funny to be playing a prank on her after their argument last night. But with each second Y/I was becoming scared. Circling in the middle of HQ until she finally broke with a pained scream that echoed through the building, “Kaaayy!!!”

It was then O dragged Y/I to her office, stating she was in charge of MIB….and that Agent K had been dead since 1969.

“Okay, you’ve got it all wrong,” Y/I chuckled to avoid having a mental breakdown right there. She was beginning to hyperventilate, struggling to process the buffoonery. There’s no way in hell K was dead. And that he had been for 40+ years. “K is not---what-whatever joke this is needs to stop--.”

“This isn’t a joke, Agent Y/I--.”

“K can’t be dead! That is impossible--I-I just did a job with him last night. We were on the phone before I went to bed. This is insane!! I am not crazy!!” Y/I leaned back in her chair, apologizing for the outburst when she saw how O was staring at her. “I’m sorry, O. That was out of line. But, O please,” she stood up, pleading with her eyes. “You have to understand that this--.” she gestured to the vicinity, “was not my reality yesterday. Something happened to K in the last twelve hours and we need to get to the bottom of it.”

There were a lot of things Y/I accepted in life. Her father left when she was five. Her family kicked her out at 18 when they caught her with a girl. Ex boyfriend cheating on her because her detective job had her working long night shifts. Blockbuster closing down. The Mets losing the World Series year after year. Pepsi replacing Coca-Cola in the MIB vending machines.

But a world without K? Y/I refused to accept it.

So that’s how she found herself at the top of a skyscraper about to make a time jump into 1969. Jeffrey, the store clerk she tracked down who gave Boris the means to travel back in time, followed behind her.

“Okay, you know the rules of time jumps, right?”

Y/I wobbled on her heels, doing her best to not look down. The wind blew in her face, “give me the short version.”

“Okay. You want to save your partner, word of advice: stay away from him.”

“Yeah got it,” Y/I nodded, making a motion with her hand. “Stay away from K just kill Boris.”

“Now,” Jeffrey handed her a pair of goggles. “Take these because it gets pretty windy on the way down.” Y/I spluttered a sound.

“The way down?!”

Jeffrey either doesn’t register the dumbfounded expression plastered on her or chooses to ignore it. “With your eyes tearing up it’s hard to read the time dial plus,” he offers a smile, “it helps you look like a real time traveler. Which is cool.” Her face never changed.

“There’s no way in hell I am jumping off of this building!”

“Time. Jump,” his face reads, ‘what did you think it meant?’ Y/I just gulps, peering out into the distance. Contemplating her life choices. Meanwhile Jeffrey pulls out the time dial, “Okay now I gotta set this thing to the 11th. Uhhh,” his fingers work over the device. Setting it to July 11th, 1969. “That seems right….ish.”

Y/I lifted her head to stare at him, “I’m gonna need that to be on the money, Jeffrey. Time is at stake here. Literally.”

“Now, all you gotta do…is jump,” passing the dial, he gives her a light push on the back, making her stumble and go, “hey-hey, stop. I don’t need to fall to my death before you finish telling me what I’m supposed to be doing.” Slowly itching herself to the edge, Jeffrey explained the final steps.

“Now as soon as you’re moving fast enough that circle is going to fill up with some sort of green time travel liquid or some such and it’s going to glow really bright--” Y/I cursed when she nearly slipped, catching her hand on the smooth surface. ‘God, I shouldn't have chosen today to wear my heels.’

“As soon as that happens you need to break that blue laser line with your thumb to complete the circuit,” Jeffrey scans their view. “At this height that should be uhhh…let’s see massive Earth and 30 something feet per minute uh--.”

The fear of jumping off a building combined with the stress of failing to save K, Y/I felt the pressure break. “It’s 32 feet per second per second.”

“That sounds right--ish,” Y/I mentally groaned at his lack of confidence. “So that would be, I guess uh, about two feet off the ground.”

“Then I break the laser line?”

“No, don't break it!”

“I mean when I’m fast enough,” Y/I reiterates and receives a thumbs up.

“Sounds good.” Well that didn't help her at all.

“So do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?”

“Do not lose that time device,” Jeffrey warns, making the woman sigh and accept she’s going to have to wing it and pray she lives to tell. “Or you will be stuck in 1969.” He didn’t have to say anything else for Y/I to understand. She was going to be a fish out of water.

Was it too late to change her clothes and dye her hair?

“How will I know if it works?” She asked, stomach dropping at the sight of spaceships entering the atmosphere. The Boglodite invasion had begun.

“You’ll either know…or you won’t.”

“Fucking A,” Y/I pulled the goggles over her head. They were tight against her skin, but she was able to at least breathe.

Before he left, Jeffrey had one last thing to say. And it really put into perspective how important K was to Y/I. “You must really love this guy to do this.”

“Yeah,” she muttered under her breath, tightness in her chest while heat flooded her veins. “I guess I do.” She brushed the intense feeling as platonic love for K. Their partnership had lasted 10 years. He was more than just a colleague, he was her best friend. Turning back to Jeffrey before he could leave, she yelled, “Wait! How come I remember K but nobody else does?”

“Woah!” Jeffrey exclaimed, looking as if she just unlocked the key to immortality. “Woah! That means you were there.”

“I was where?” She didn’t understand. Yeah she was alive in 1969, five years old in fact. But what the hell does he mean by she was there?

“If you survive you gotta come back and tell me everything, okay!”

“What are you talking about? Where was I?!” she was interrupted by a ship attacking a nearby building. Jeffrey ushering her off.

“You gotta go! Go! Go! Go!,” he fled to safety, leaving Y/I alone on the rooftop. More ships attacked, sending an alarm across the city for residents to seek shelter. Below Y/I made out their screams.

Time dial in hand, Y/I said a mental prayer, “I’m coming for ya, K,” and leaped to her destiny.

1969

Once Y/I settled her heart rate and mentally cheered in victory she didn’t die, her feet carried her off the rooftop and down the elevator. Had her mind not been preoccupied, she would’ve found humor in the man who looked rather scared out of his wits when she entered the elevator. Clutching the paper close to his chest while giving her an odd once over.

“What’s today?” Y/I picked up on his adversary, not meeting her eye at all.

“Tuesday,” he said shortly.

“The date,” she corrected with a sigh.

“The 11th.”

“Of?”

“July?”

“My man, what’s the year?”

“Nine-nineteen sixty-nine.”

“Thank you,” she threw a hand up, startling him more. “God, and I thought people sucked at answering simple questions where I’m from.” She left the elevator in a haste once it hit the lobby floor, rushing out the doors to a 60s New York.

After stealing a rich man’s car, neuralizing two cops and knicking a bottle of coca-cola from a vendor to quench her time travel thirst, Y/I finally made it to Coney Island. Approaching any and everyone to see if they’d seen Boris.

“He’s about six foot, gnarly beard and looks like he could use some screen,” the young couple hippy kept eyeing her up and down, expressions mixed with weariness and awe. It’s not everyday a woman in a dressy suit approaches to ask you questions. Y/I huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I take that as a no?”

It was like this all morning and Y/I was starting to lose hope. But she had to stay. It said in the records Boris murders an alien on July 11th at Coney Island. Maybe if she could find him she’d save another life.

A scream filled her ears, Y/I running in the direction of the ferris wheel. Breaking through a curtain with her gun raised where she found a body laying on the ground. “Shit,” she muttered, head raising a second later to thumping.

There, leaping across the panels of the ferris wheel, was Boris. Y/I trained her blaster up, eyes following Boris’ until she could get a clear shot. She predicted he’d jump to the large billboard, so she focused her aim to await him.

But fate had other plans.

As soon as she lined up the shot Y/I felt cold pressure against her temple. Blood rushed as she mentally cursed herself. Then a familiar southern drawl filled her ears.

“We’ll take it from here.”

“K?” she gasped, eyes wide as saucers. Smiling as she turned to see him, young and alive, “K!”. ‘Damn K was a stud.’ However the happy reunion was cut short when the agent remembered this was a young K. His face visibly surprised at the mention of his name. Y/I once again cursed at herself.

He didn’t know who the fuck she was.

His defensive demeanor showed that. “I’m afraid I’m going to need you to lower your weapon and come with me, ma’am.” Had this been her K she would’ve teased the fact that even so young authority seeped off him. Carrying himself in a way Y/I was sure he had gals falling to his feet left and right.

But she couldn’t tease him. This wasn’t her K. And this K looked like he was about five seconds from losing his patience.

“Sorry, pretty boy,” she found her voice, his face shifting at the nickname. “Can’t let that happen.” Before K could blink, Y/I shot her arm up to push his blaster away, kneeing his stomach causing K to grunt and bend over, before kicking his legs. She made a mental note to apologize to future K once she returns home.

If she manages to pull this off.

Once K was down, Y/I took her chance to run. Unfortunately she didn’t get far. Heading in the direction Boris fled, Y/I got caught in a maze of tents, unable to find her way out. She stomped her foot, “Dammit.” It was there K found her, tackling the agent from behind, “Ooof--!” They rolled on the harsh ground, scuffling their suits and shoes before coming to a stop. K kicked Y/I’s blaster away, annoying her greatly, “Rude.”

They engaged in a small brawl. Which was pretty much Y/n doing all she could to escape and K attempting to get the upper hand but falling short. It was a new thing for K. Having an opponent on his level. He’d never had his work cut out for him until now. This woman was something else. She intrigued him.

After two whole minutes of fighting, they were becoming tired and frustrated. K took a blow to his rib, Y/I’s hair now loose from the hair tie snapping. It came to a climatic end when they fell back onto a curtain and tumbled onto a table full of orange crates. Moaning as they made impact with the ground. Y/I pushed herself up only to yelp in pain and fall back as electricity filled her veins.

The bastard tased her.

Breathing heavily, K wiped the sweat from his forehead. Leaning back on his knees as he observed the unconscious woman in front of him. Now that he got a better look, K assessed her to be in her mid to late 30s. Striking features with signs of aging, some wrinkles by her eyes and smile lines, but breathtakingly beautiful. Hair styled in an unusual fashion. Two toned in a way K couldn’t tell if it was natural on the sides framing her face or if they were purposely dyed a stunning white/gray. The top of her head was layered in y/h/c. Her makeup relatively simple with the exception of bold red painting her lips.

The most interesting detail of the gorgeous woman was she adored a black suit just like him. She stuck out like a sore thumb when all the women wore dresses and skirts. Yes, some wore pants, but a woman in a sleek black suit and tie? Unheard of. Not to mention her suit was made in a different fashion than his own. More tight on her figure, thinner tie, not as boxy on the shoulders.

K’s suspicion rose when he found fancy gadgets in the pockets of her blazer. He’d made sure to disarm her in the event she woke before they arrived at HQ. Besides her gun, he discovered a pen-like tool, and a circular device reading the current date. ‘What the hell?’ he thought to himself, examining the tools closely before pocketing them. Brows raised to his hairline when he found her badge, the MIB logo in bold printed above her identity.

Agent Y/I.

“Huh,” K hummed in wonder, “Well I’ll be damned.” He glanced down at the fallen agent, lingering on her features, “Now that’s something you don’t see everyday.” Badge in hand, K gently lifting the woman in his arms to take to his car. But not before neuralizing the crowd that had gathered around them.

Whoever she was, K was going to find out.

Y/I awoke with a groan. Feeling tension in her neck and back and throat dry as a desert. Bright lights filled her vision, causing her to blink rapidly until the blurriness became clear. Making her brows furrow at the sight of a very different MIB headquarters she was used to. For starters this one had color. Burnt orange furniture and bulky furniture to fit the times. It was buzzing with MIB agents and travelers from other worlds. Y/I heard one alien on the phone with his dad begging to bail him out.

Good luck with that buddy.

Still feeling the numbness from the voltage, Y/I massaged her jaw with her hand, groaning lightly as she turned her head to scan the rest of HQ. A sudden gasp leaving her as she found K staring at her, making her jolt in her seat.

“Christ, K,” a groan left her throat, eyes narrowed at the man--who again observed her with skepticism. “Would it kill a girl to ask you to turn the electricity down on that thing? I can barely feel my tongue.” He cut right to the chase.

“How do you know my name?”

‘Fuck,’ Y/I gritted her teeth. Pissed at herself for making a simple mistake. Now she had to improvise. Something K always clowned her for. “What? Cause I called you ‘K’?” She could tell he wanted to smirk at her nervous chuckle. “No, I call everybody K. It’s my thing really--What up, K?” the person passing the two gave a look, and the agent continued the ruse much to K’s displeasure. “Kaaaaayyyyy, pasa. Yeah, you know how it is.”

God this was embarrassing. But she was too deep now.

K turned in his chair around to grab something off the desk, “Now that I know what you look like when you’re lying.” Placing the items in front of Y/I, she mentally cursed. It was her neuralizer, gun, badge and time travel device. “Won’t you show me what you look like when you’re telling the truth?”

Oh boy. She hadn’t thought of him confiscating the stuff she had. Super important stuff. How was she going to get out of this? K was the smartest man alive. He’ll know she’s lying no matter how much she tries to deceive him. Time was running out and she needed to get away fast.

Putting on a convincing smile, Y/I leans her elbow on the corner of K’s desk. “I won those at Coney Island on the ring toss,” the lie was met with a gesture of her hand, like she actually was tossing a ring.

“I won a stuffed bear once, but never one of these,” he shakes his head, giving that damn smile where he knows she’s lying. Of course he fucking knew. “Must be good, slick.” God there was the nickname. The one that in the beginning Y/I hated but learned to love as it was only reserved for her. Hearing the younger K say it brought comfort to the agent, reminding her why she was in 1969 in the first place.

“All right, sir,” she pulled herself together, becoming serious which surprised him a bit. “I was minding my own business. I was out there waiting for my girl, who, by the way, is probably worried sick looking for me right now. So I-I just need my things and I need to get back to her.”

“What’s ya gal’s name?”

“Huh?”

“Your gal,” K repeated with a smirk, “what’s her name?” The question threw her off, but then Y/I she did, in fact, say she was waiting for a girl and not a guy. Forgetting she was in 1969 where lgbtq+ unfortunately dealt with prominent homophobia and persecution. ‘Fuck’ she thought again, hoping young K was just as accepting as his older self. Who, when Y/I told him she was bisexual his reply was, “I know, slick.”

By some God awful reason, Y/I’s brain melted at having to come up with a fake girlfriend name, “Schtaron” saying it aloud even made her cringe.

K even looked surprised, eyebrows raising as though he misheard her. “Schtaron?” Well she couldn’t take it back now. So Y/I did the only thing she could do: nod, accepting her fate. K’s mouth opened slightly, processing the information. “I bet Schtaron likes that suit of yours. Hm?”

Y/I peered down at her outfit where K was looking. Crisp black suit matching his only a tad different in style. She raised a brow in defiance, “What, it’s a crime to wear a black suit?”

K shrugged, finger brushing his bottom lip, “Not a crime, but it makes you stick out compared to the other pretty ladies wearing pencil dresses and skirts.”

“Yeah well,” Y/I scoffed with a roll of the eyes. “You men haven’t realized yet that women can rock a three-piece suit and tie better than y’all.” As though confirming her words, Y/I heats up when K gives another glance over her suit. From the tie around her neck to the red bottom heels on her feet.

Obviously he didn’t recognize the shoes since Louboutins didn’t release until the 90s, but K was still impressed nonetheless she’d be brave to wear such footwear in that line of work.

He leaned back in his chair, turning away when he was caught staring, red creeping up his neck and hand raising to adjust his tie. Y/I smirked, pleased with his reaction, while battling the warmth feeling in her chest. Part of her wanted to poke fun at him like she usually did, but there was a job to do.

“All right, listen, pretty boy,” she gets his attention back, visibly reacting to the nickname, “I haven’t done anything wrong except be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I need to get out of here,” she slaps a hand down on the stack of files in front of her, “I cannot be here with you.” They’re suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a beautiful blonde.

“Terribly sorry,” she apologizes to Y/I before turning to K. “X is frightfully upset about the whole Coney Island incident.” K moves to grab his cup of coffee, meanwhile Y/I could not contain herself and was openly checking the blonde out. Which K caught and had to do a double take.

“Alright thanks for the heads up,” he takes a sip, wincing at the bitter taste, “Oh, man, this coffee tastes like dirt.” Y/I snapped her head to him in shock before turning back to the woman, ‘no fucking way,’ her suspicions were confirmed seconds later.

“What do you expect? It was--.”

“Just ground this morning,” Y/I finishes the saying, eyes wide and grin threatening to expand. “O?” ‘Damn O has always been fine.’

Both faced her, expressions of bewilderment. Especially O who had yet to know who Y/I was. It was further proof to younger K Y/I was hiding something big.

Realizing her mistake Y/I attempted to do damage control. “No, I call ladies ‘O’,” her hand waves. Feeling small under K’s hard stare. “To me, O is feminine, K is masculine.” What the actual hell was coming out of her mouth? She didn’t know and couldn’t stop, “You know, I see a couple, I’m like, “O-K.” Before anyone had the chance to react to the utter bullshit she spewed, X was rounding the corner. K dropping a large booklet on top of Y/I’s stuff.

“What a mess,” X exclaimed, standing beside O. “Any casualties?”

“Yes, Roman the Fabulist.”

O appeared devastated by this news. Almost like she could cry whereas X just rephrased the question to specify, “Any human casualties.” Y/I narrowed her brows slightly, offended by the audacity of X which didn’t go unnoticed by K. He matched her expression. To him, all life was precious. Humans and aliens alike.

“No, sir,” Y/I picked up on his strained tone. It was then X turned his attention to the woman seated in front of him with a piercing glare, “Who the hell is this?” He was put off not just by her scowl, but the fact she wore a suit and had mixed-match hair.

“Look, I was…” K interrupted before she could make a fool of herself.

“Stray human caught in the net.”

“Code 43 her and throw her back,” X ordered. O, sensing there was more to the story, diverted X away from the desk, “Sir, you’re gonna be late for a meeting with the Viagrans. They have a revolutionary new pill.” Y/I tilted her head at O’s words, ‘What the hell? Viagrans? New Pill? Oh my….’ She wanted to laugh at the irony, but K was back in front of her, serious as ever.

“Okay, slick,” he leaned on his elbows, waiting for the woman to come clean. Y/I kept her guard up, shaking her head furiously and sticking with the stupid story, “I was waiting for my girl.”

“Schtaron.”

“Yes,” Y/I wanted to crawl under the desk and hide, “she’s….Greek. It’s a family name--very unique.”

A moment of silence passes and K finally gives up. Accepting he was going to have to use unorthodox methods to get answers. “Okay. Just one last thing…..an eye exam.”

Oh no.

Any attempt Y/I made to escape was to no avail. They caught and strapped her to a stretcher like contraption, after she put down three men and managed to disarm K again, making his jaw drop. They wheeled her to a room, her eyes landing on a large machine resembling a device she was all too familiar with. “That’s not an eye exam, K,” she shouted appalled, “That’s a big ass neuralizer!”

“You sure have a lot of information for a gal who doesn’t know anything,” he approached the control machine.

“I see what you’re saying. Woah--!” They spun upside down. “You know what, K, we need to hold up a second. K!” Her y/h/c and white hair fell over her face, Y/I blowing air to get it out of the way. Necklaces smacking her cheek.

A man in a lab coat and white suit approached her. Leaning down with an object in his hand. “Let’s just get this bite guard in here.” Y/I clacked her teeth in an attempt to bite him.

“Hey. Back up,” she did it again, causing him to draw back. “Back the fuck up. I’m not afraid to bite you.” The stretcher jolted up, making it to where she was level with the machine. “K, listen,” she pleaded with a chuckle, “I think we got off on the wrong foot, all right? So let’s stop this show and talk for a second. Don’t put me in this thing, K!”

K thought about it for a moment before replying, “Too late, lass,” and pressed a button. Y/I groaned, stretcher moving to enter the vessel.

“K, no, you have to listen to me. I can help you with this case!” her pleas went ignored, K focusing on the dial. “K!” She makes a face, “I’m doing the truth face--you’re missing it!”

���Ah, I’ll just use my imagination.”

Buzzing filled the room. The neuralizer was closed and locked, beginning to spin in a circle as it lit up. Y/I started feeling nauseous, struggling against the holds. “K, I’m after the same killer you’re looking for. He’s a Boglodite named Boris.”

“Ship has sailed, amiga.”

The dizziness was becoming intense, Y/I blinked her eyes, “K, if we don’t get him now we’ll have to deal with two of them. Two!” K adjusts his headset.

“You had my undivided attention.”

“One will have one arm, and one will have two,” she informs, neuralizer speeding up. Now her heart was about to burst from her chest, desperation consuming her. “K! Listen to me, please!” the stretcher set in place as it locked in. “If you erase me you’ll be erasing the whole world!”

“Fifteen seconds to neuralyzation. Fourteen.”

“Fuck-fuck-fuck,” Y/I mumbled, the fear now setting in. The last time she felt terrified--besides that morning--was after getting poisoned by an alien stinger while on a job in 2003. Never had she seen K so scared. Cursing at everyone and breaking every traffic law to get back to HQ. So frighteningly angry he nearly threw hands with Zed while O had to step in to calm him down.

“Thirteen. Twelve. Eleven.” her thoughts became fuzzy. Neurons pulling apart and pushing together. The area of the brain dedicated to memory being targeted causing her mind to spin. “Ten. Nine. Eight.” The least she could do before her brain was scrambled was warn K one last time. “When you see Boris tomorrow, K, kill him. Do not arrest him, you have to kill him!”

“Six. Five. Four.”

Y/I’s eyes closed, steadying her breathing to calm herself and not allow the fear to take over. Memories started to play like a film. From her childhood, to adolescence. High school and police academy. Her time as a detective to the moment she met K. Discovering the world beyond Earth. Every mission, every job. Every precious moment she took for granted.

Outside, K kept replaying her words. Warnings. Whoever she was, she knew too much. Between the technology, the suit, knowing his name as well as O’s, this woman had a past. A past with the same man he needed to find.

For God’s sake she had an MIB badge. She was one of them.

‘Fucking hell.’ “Three. Two. On--.” K stood abruptly and smacked his hand down on the button to shut it down before it could reach one.

Y/I let out a breath of relief, feeling the contraption slow down until it came to a stop. Lights shutting off. “Is this thing off, K? Hey, I don’t think it’s off all the way--can you check real quick?” Cranking her neck as best she could, Y/I desperately needed an Advil. “It’s still whirring and buzzing. I don’t know if I don’t know nothing.” Now she was being dramatic. But who could really blame her after nearly getting her memory erased.

The stretcher exited the machine, pulling Y/I upright causing her hair to become a wild mess. K approached, headset off, and watched her carefully. “I knew Roman. His wife cooked me dinner once and while it was not pleasant, he was my friend.” The men unlatched the metal straps holding Y/I in place, K stepping forward to extend a hand so she’d safely step off while saying, “Last chance, who are you and what do you know?” She took his hand, both flinching at the tiny shock that occurred and Y/I stumbled back once on her feet so they had a bit of distance, but still close. Inhaling, Y/I spilled all K needed to know in one breath.

“I’m an agent at Men in Black, but I’m from the future--we’re partners, ok? Twenty-five years from now you’re going to recruit me in New York, and fourteen years after that, the guy you didn’t let me kill today at Coney Island, he escapes from prison, and jumps back into the past and unleashes a full scale invasion of Earth,” Y/I checks her watch briefly, “we’ve got approximately four days and ten hours to catch him and kill him. So really, we need to go right now because he can be anywhere!” She let out a small groan, letting the air catch up. Nerves arose at K’s blank stare. Y/I unable to tell what he was thinking and that brought great annoyance.

They stayed like that for a moment. Staring at each other in silence. Y/I allowed her shoulders to drop, sighing in the process.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, K turned on his heel toward the door, “Alright.” Puzzled, Y/I blinked rapidly in question, but followed after the man.

“So that’s the story you believe.”

“That one was the truth,” K pointed out. “Wasn’t the whole truth, but I guess it’ll do for now.” Y/I looked at him offended.

“What the hell do you mean? Of course it’s the whole truth!” Liar. “I told you everything.” ‘No I didn’t, but what you don’t know won’t hurt ya.’ They entered the elevator, “The problem with a lie, K, is once you start lying you put yourself….” she trails off when he turns to her with a look of, ‘Don’t even try,’ Sighing again, Y/I licked her lips while placing her hands in her pockets, staring ahead rather than at K.

“Agent K,” a voice called from below as the elevator rose. They turned to find X and O. “What’s she still doing here?”

“Oh I might have cooked her for too long. Thought I’d better walk her out.” Catching on, Y/I said the first thing that came to her mind.

“I put my pants on.” K rolled his eyes, lifting his hand as if to say, ‘See what I mean?’ Once X looked satisfied and took his leave, K gently placed a hand on her shoulder to turn her back around. His touch sent another wave of heat. She straightened her posture, looking ahead.

Y/I jaw hurt from how hard she was holding her laugh. Squeezing her eyes shut, but she still felt K’s gaze, damn well knowing she’d break if she made eye contact. “Please stop looking at me before I lose it.”

“How’d you know--.”

The elevator jolted a stop, Y/I exiting first before K took the lead. She quickened her pace so they were next to each other. Outside K led her to his car, Y/I’s unable to contain her reaction at the sight of his car. A 1964 Ford Galaxy 500. She whistled as got into the car, missing how K was biting back a smirk.

The driver’s door slammed shut behind him, “Okay future-gal, where to?” Y/I’s brow raised, hands making a motion. She didn't have a damn clue at what to do next. Now that her original plan blew to shit.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” K parroted, just as confused and she made a face.

“I don’t know. Uh…go wherever you went last time.”

Did she forget she traveled back in time? “I haven’t been here last time. I didn’t tell you where I went?” She had to choose her next words carefully to not let anything slip. Nonetheless she let out a light chuckle.

“No, we don’t really talk.”

K huffed, adjusting himself in the seat, “What kind of partners sit in a car all day every day for 14 years and don’t talk?”

“Exactly,” her smile is tight, proving her point. She points a finger between the both of them, “and this is the type of problem it causes. It’s dysfunctional and annoying if I’m being quite honest. And technically we’ve been partners for ten years but that’s a long story and one for another day.” She didn’t miss the curious look that came over him, but it was quickly replaced with frustration.

“Alright, sweetheart,” he put one hand on the wheel while his arm laid across the headrest of the seats, face serious. “You better get useful real quick, or you’re going back to room 43.”

Y/I muttered something he couldn’t hear, turning away to gaze out the windshield. Brows furrowed deep in thought as she picked through her brain for any information.

“Okay, uh,” she bit her lip, “the file--the file I read about Boris before coming here said something about a factory,” she looked back at K, “something happened at a factory on the 13th.” She heard him sigh, and Y/I held back her own. “Look, pretty boy, I’m giving you all I got. You can stare at me with your jedi knight--,” she forgot Star Wars had yet to be released for another seven years. “Looking eyes, but that’s all--we’ve got two days to find out where he’s going.”

To her surprise, K started the car. She tilted her head, “oh, did that spark something for you, cowboy?”

“Roman had this on his person when he was murdered,” In his hand was a matchbook, Y/I reached to take it. On both sides read ‘Cosmo Lanes,’ the letters encased in bowling pins.

“It’s a matchbox.”

“No, it’s a clue,” K corrected, making her look at him puzzled. Then he answered her unspoken question, “He didn’t smoke.” They were off with the roar of the engine trailing behind. Off to Cosmo Lanes with their lead.

The entire drive Y/I kept stealing glances at K. Not hiding her intrigue at all or how she admired his features. Jet black hair, shiny and sleek. Smile lines--which she always found adorable. Brown eyes that twinkled whenever he smirked or gave a genuine smile.

She must’ve been staring because K snapped her out of it as he said, “You lose something over here, darlin’?”

Instead of becoming embarrassed and flinging herself out of the car, Y/I held her chin high, feeding off the confidence she usually carried herself with. Lip curling, as she tipped a brow up, “Say, K, I’m curious. How old are you?”

It took a moment for him to answer, “twenty-nine.”

“Wow,” Y/I hummed, making K give her a, ‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Her grin widened, tone taking a teasing nature, “Just that you got some city miles on ya.”

Now it was K’s turn to smirk, “You know I’m starting to understand why we don’t talk.” Y/I chuckled, facing forward in the seat. K turned down the music lightly, “Exactly what year in the future are you from?”

“Twenty-Twelve,” she heard him make a sound, like he was calculating his age in 2012. “Don’t worry, you're still a stud even in your old age. Silver hair suits you.”

“Glad to hear,” Y/I heard his smile, matching her own. “What you said earlier, about us being partners for ten years, what’d you mean by that?” She hadn’t expected that question, tightening her lips as she debated on opening that can of worms.

“Like I said, it's a long and complicated story.”

K’s eyes flickered to her, “we got time.”

She snorted, “Should I really be telling you? I’m not an expert in time travel, but what if telling you about what happens in the future inevitably dooms it?” All she received was a shrug, making her head fall back against the seat.

“Well,” she breathed through her nose, clicking her teeth. “As I mentioned--after you nearly fried my brain--you recruited me in ‘97, but after the first job you decided to retire and had me neuarlize you,” She briefly glanced to find K raising his brows, visibly surprised. “Then five years later in ‘02, you held the key to stopping a homicidal maniac so I had to drag you back to MiB. Once that was over, you just stayed,” leaning her head to look at K, Y/I smirked, “And we’ve been going now ten years strong. My longest relationship really--you should be honored.” She couldn’t help but tease, watching the man flush red.

Even as a young stallion K was easy to fluster.

“I love that,” she giggled lightly, looking away when he turned his head.

“What?”

“Oh nothing,” she jutted, but then came clean, unable to contain her laugh. “Just that you’re still easy to tickle.” Y/I didn’t see it, but K’s gaze lingered on her. Fondness peaking through as a million questions racked his brain but he refused to ask--the leading being just who was she to him? Yeah they were work partners, but call it intuition, K felt there was something more to Y/I and what she meant to him.

Whatever it was now was not the time to drown himself in theories. Gathering his priorities, K kept only two things in mind: 1) they had a job to do and 2) this woman was from his future. They needed to find Boris, stop him from changing the future, and get her back home.

They pulled up to the bowling alley, K shutting off the engine after putting the car in park. Y/I leaned forward to get a better look. “How well do you know this place?”

“I know its reputation.”

“I don’t like it,” she shook her head, finding it sketchy. “I hate going in blind. I’m gonna need my gun back.”

“Sure thing, slick,” a handcuff clasped on Y/I wrist, a gasp leaving her as he cuffed her to the steering wheel while she gaped at him like he lost his damn mind.

“K! What the hell?!” she fought against his grip, “I need to go in there with you!”

“You just sit tight. I’ll be fine.” K was out the door and entering the establishment. Leaving Y/I shouting after him, “Stop--K! You can’t go in by yourself. When I get back to the future I’m going to have serious words for you!” She puffed out a breath as his suit clad figure disappeared. Her hands searched around the car, ‘I wonder…’ reaching for the ashtray, Y/I made a ‘ah-ha!’ sound as she found the spare key underneath.

“Same old K,” the smirk stayed on her lips, freeing herself from the cuffs and racing out the car. Going quiet as she accessed the center to take in the scene. K had his gun on a man, who in turn had four guns pointed at him. Grabbing the first thing, a bowling pin, Y/I inched her way until she was bringing down the pin on the alien’s head. Promptly knocking him out.

“See you still keep the key under the ashtray,” she saw the flicker of what looked like astonishment.

“Lucky guess,” he played it off, facing the man who was not passed out on the floor. “Now, where were we?”

After landing a spare on the lanes, finding the owner’s dead body, and a call to O for information, the two tracked down where Boris was heading next. From what K said, it was the factory.

Now they had two days to spare until then. And frankly, Y/I was beat like a tennis ball after Wimbledon. She needed a hot shower, food, and at least ten hours of sleep. It was pushing close to 6pm and Y/I was about two seconds away from making a bed out of K's backseat.

“Where are we?” a yawn escaped her when the car came to a halt. Squinting at the unknown building they were in front of.

“My place,” K casually replied, exiting the car as if it were nothing while Y/I choked on her saliva.

“Your what?” The wind hit her as she climbed out, gawking at the man. People passing by gave them looks which they ignored. “Why are we at your place, K?”

His brow tipped up, “You’re exhausted. So we’ll pick things back up tomorrow.”

“Okay….” she agreed, but her tone was still confused. “That still doesn’t explain why we’re at your place.” Then it hit Y/I, heat filling her veins and she began to splutter. “K, If you’re insinuating what I think you are, I can go get a hotel.”

“Oh really and how are you gonna do that?” K countered, hands going in his pockets. “You don’t have any money on ya, sweetheart.” Y/I tilted her head in surprise.

“And just how do you know that?” She could’ve sworn she had her credit cards on her. Learning not to carry cash on her at times now that most places were switching to cards only or never had change in the registers.

Fuck K didn’t think about how that would sound. Face redding as he adjusted his jacked, “Um,” his throat cleared, “I confiscated everything on ya at HQ and there was no wallet. Just assumed you weren’t carrying any.”

Instantly Y/I fished for her MiB badge, where she hid her Capital One credit card. Flashing it to him, “I have this.”

“What is it?” He snatched it to get a better look. Reading the print of a name he assumed was her alias, several numbers in a line and expiration date. Not recognizing the company labeled at the top.

“My credit card,” she said as if it were obvious, forgetting where she was. K’s face was questioning, making Y/I go, “What?”

“This won’t work at a hotel, slick,” he passed the card back, but not before reading it one more time. Before she could ask why K gave the answer. “For starters Capital One doesn’t exist yet. And the expiration date will have everyone turning heads,” his face turned serious, “but the main thing, if you attempt to pay with that, the authorities are going to have a field day wondering how you managed to forge a credit account.”

Y/I’s jaw dropped, absolutely floored. Forge an account? Yeah the name on the card wasn’t her real name but it was the MiB issued credit card and worked perfectly fine. And she was certain she hadn’t maxed it out yet. It’d just been used on her daily bodega order that morning.

“This isn’t fake! I get it’s not my real name, but thanks to MiB it hasn’t let me down yet. How will it--,” she cut herself on as it crossed her mind. What he was trying to tell her without really saying it. Y/I brought a hand to her nose, scrunching it. Feeling stupid she hadn’t realized it sooner as a sigh left her, “I’m not supposed to have a credit card.”

In fact, no woman was supposed to have one. They wouldn’t get the right to open their own credit accounts until 1974. Where they’d be free without having a husband, father, or brother cosign on one.

Gotta love the 60s…..

“What’s it gonna be, slick?” K voice brought her back to reality. Lifting her eyes from the pavement to meet his. Air caught in her throat suddenly, ‘Wow K has beautiful eyes.’

“I’m taking the bed,” Y/I gave in, lighting a cigarette she stole from a pack in K’s car before heading into the building with one thing on her mind: sleep. “I deserve it after jumping off a damn building and almost having my brain cooked.”

[jadeddays]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. ♥

emopop song about feeling like an alien on earth because of your depressive tendencies?? in kpop no less?? Okay but firstly, my emo girl sensibilities just Enjoy it but I also ascertain that had he not been born too late (he's baby, only 23 and this song is 3 yrs old) I think Han would have been SUCH a hit with sad girls on myspace in 2008 like he's truly Babygirl....

I also hate to admit it. I also should just forget. my favourite thing about this, other than it being relatable for sad girl trust issue reasons, is certainly the fact he wrote it after one member left the group which 👀 but also bc he was literally so scorched earth about erasing the guy he had his group go back and re-record a bunch of their songs without the member who left, which isnt that common in kpop so like you know it was personal.... and for good reason! the member who left with no notice was accused of meeting up with fans and being. Let's say Creepy. so he really did betray his trust.... there's some tea for you, since you have been doing your posts about the metal scene 😇

GO ON AND CLOSE. THE CURTAINS. I dont know why this song has always had a grip on me but it just does- also! very majimako to me!

Dido!!!!!!!!!!! I have loved dido since I was a kid, I had 2 of her albums and i literally listened to them so much that they were scratched beyond repair- and then i bought them again. i feel like barely anyone remembers her outside Eminem putting the sample of her in his song Stan but I think she has this really nice, calm feeling to her music. I do always remember amy winehouse saying she made funeral music though, which was mean, but funny. I love this song, though- great break up song thats actually about reclaiming yourself, so I love the vibe.

Yeah this is the song where screaming cowboy meme came from and also the guy from that meme is australias equivalent of bruce springsteen. But the song is silly and fun! good for at least one listen to see where the meme came from lmao it's also about inclusivity lmao

thanks for the ask!!!!

[everwitch-magiks]

RWRB Fics Roundup

Hey y’all! Once upon a time I had the ambition to post links on here to all the fics and new chapters that I publish on AO3, and I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been an absolute disaster at that over the summer. In my defense I’ve just had so much to write, but that’s not much of a defense seeing as it doesn’t take ages to chuck a link on here. Anyhow. Bottom line is, I’ve severely neglected it, and it’s gotten to a point where I’m just gonna make a post with links to everything I’ve written since June (ish) for you to peruse, so you can see if there’s one that you didn’t catch wind of that catches your eye now. Neat, huh?

So, without further ado, the links! The fics! Let’s go.

Completed works

Love At First Bark General Audiences, AU, tooth-rotting fluff. 3K. “I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.

Shameless Explicit, AU, Henry has a reputation. 14K. Henry has a lot of sex. A lot. He's young and in college and there is no shortage of men to fall in bed with. What better time to explore what he likes and what he fucking loves, as well as to catalogue how to make his many, many partners feel as good as possible? It’s all part of the learning experience. And Henry is a very dedicated student.

Alex has been inescapably aware of Henry ever since that one time they kissed. You don’t just stop being aware of the guy who basically caused your sexuality. So when Henry propositions Alex at a lame frat party, Alex accepts eagerly. Maybe this is exactly what he needs. Maybe, if he can just have Henry once, he’ll have a better chance of finally getting over his embarrassing fixation with Henry. It's worth a try.

When The Time Is Right Part four of my sex club series. Explicit, AU, dom Henry and sub Alex. 16K. “Maybe I could challenge you more,” Henry suggests, his eyes carefully trained on Alex. “And hold you accountable for longer. How does that sound?” “That sounds fucking amazing,” Alex tells him, the words coming out in a rush. “Yes. That. Please.” “Alright, then.” Henry offers him a sly grin. “Alex, love. You just gave me a wonderful idea.” It’s really something, how quickly Alex’s heartbeat picks up. “Oh? Do tell.” Henry’s grin widens. He looks alarmingly pleased with himself. “How would you feel about a staycation?”

When Alex asks Henry for something a little more intense in the bedroom, they end up taking more than just their sex life to the next level.

Out For A Bite Explicit, AU, suspense and supernatural elements. 3K. Henry's eyes fly up, zeroing in on the reflection in the mirror. There, behind him. The man from the bar. He looks different in the fluorescent bathroom lights. Sharper. There’s a look in his eyes that has Henry shivering all over again. It's greedy. Hungry.

He’s staring right at Henry.

Henry's throat feels dry. His heart beats madly. He's heard whispers of this place, and more importantly of its patrons. He thinks he knows what this man is.

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with) Explicit, AU, Alex and Henry in DIY Punk & mainstream pop punk, respectively. 34K. Teenage music sensation Kensington have taken the world by storm. With their cool leather jackets and wickedly distorted guitars, they're a pop duo that packs a punch. Or at least they sound like one—their lyrics unfortunately lack any semblance of depth. Alex can't fucking stand Kensington. But thankfully, he doesn’t have to. He’s not likely to cross paths with those British pop losers during his final semester of high school in Texas. And even if he did, he'd never let some stupidly attractive blonde take his focus away from the goal that Alex has worked towards for years: winning the Austin Band Slam with his latino punk trio.

But when Henry comes crashing into Alex's life, with his intriguing piano pieces and piercing blue eyes and slow, purposeful kisses that make Alex burn with want, Alex finds that he might need to reevaluate his stance on both pop losers and distractions. Or maybe not. Maybe he’s better off keeping Henry at arm's length, since it's so painfully evident that Henry will never love him back.

Never Tell Me The Odds Teen and Up Audiences, canon verse, an outside perspective on First Prince as well as a story about a certain Star Wars mural. 2K. "Wait!" Alex yells up to the driver. "Stop! Stop the car!" Up close, it's beautiful. Two stories tall. He can’t imagine how somebody was able to put together something like this so fast.

Ash had never imagined that they'd get the chance to actually meet Alex Claremont-Diaz, and much less get the chance to tell Alex about how that very special Star Wars mural came to be. Although of course, Ash never would have met Alex if it hadn’t been for Farida. Farida and her bold courage, and her warm compassion, and her sometimes infuriating (but always endearing) stubbornness.

yrs. faithfully (with nowhere to go) Explicit, canon verse, a lazy morning in bed leads to something more. 3K. When Alex and Henry wake up together the day before their anniversary, they're genuinely planning on getting out of bed and spending the day as productive members or society. Truly, their intentions are honorable. But a trip down memory lane gets them reminiscing about that night exactly one year ago, when Alex had come running through the rain to deliver some choice words about obtuse fucking assholes.

As Alex and Henry start to relive the memory, they quickly realize that they both remember it intimately. So intimately that they might be able to pull off something of a do-over.

Gadgets and Gizmos A-Plenty A companion piece to dearest Hattie’s soulmate fic. Mature, AU, a look into Henry buying sex toys. Yes. That’s the fic. 2K. There’s a bunch of regulars that Amir knows by name (and, unavoidably, by kinks), but most often Playtime gets one-time visitors. Which makes sense, really. A lot of people don’t seem to want to step into the same adult toy shop twice. So Amir is always a little extra curious when there’s a repeat customer, especially one who is this attractive. And, interestingly, one who’s come back so soon.

The tall, classically handsome man with blond hair and blue eyes left Playtime no less than five hours ago after having purchased a medium-sized, fairly standard vibrator well suited for anal play. And now he’s back. Because apparently, he’s found he needed another vibrator.

If Sex Was A Sport We’d Be Winning Mature, AU, a classic Olympics hookup. 3K. It's remarkable, truly, that Alex didn't even want to be here. He only came all the way to Ariake because June was determined to watch a bunch of prissy ponies strut around to music. Still, perhaps the true Olympic experience lies in the wide variety of disciplines. Or, perhaps, it has something to do with chatting up a pretty blond behind the stables and getting him to show you the inside of an Olympic tack room. As Alex quickly takes to Henry’s sweet smiles and easy confidence, he realizes that just a few stolen moments with this man might turn into his most cherished memory from the Tokyo Olympics.

Alex knows better than to get attached, though. He and Henry live an ocean apart. There’s no way this quick fumble in the stable equivalent of a supply closet could ever lead to anything more. Right?

Talk Dirty To Me Explicit, AU, dom Henry and sub Alex. 9K. Henry studies Nora’s expression for a moment. There’s something about her favourable account of this guy she claims not to want to sleep with again that doesn’t add up. "But you're still not interested in taking him on?"

"He wants more than I'm willing to offer," Nora says frankly. Henry’s always liked this about her—how she doesn’t skirt around the hard facts. It's a part of what makes her so good at dominating. "But you know what? For you, he'd be kind of perfect."

Henry has been active in the local BDSM scene for years and there’s no shortage of men who’d love nothing more than to find themselves at his mercy. But Henry is on a break. He’s not looking for a new partner, but he’s also not expecting to become so intrigued by the man that Nora insists he should meet. Alex is a newcomer on the scene who doesn’t yet know exactly what he wants, much less with who. There’s no way that he could turn out to be exactly who Henry needs. Right?

Date night (please toy with me) Explicit, canon verse, a night out leads to some fun with a toy. 4K. This… this is new. They’ve talked about trying this, about what it’d be like to conceal some of their intimacy in plain sight, about what it would feel like to try and reclaim what is most private to them by flaunting it without anyone even knowing, by daring to take risks again. They’ve agreed that they’d still need to be careful, but they’ve also agreed that it would be interesting. That it would be fun.

And apparently, Henry thinks tonight is the night for it. “Do you trust me, love?”

“Yeah.” Alex swallows. He picks up the box, studying it for a moment. “Do you want… what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to go to the bathroom,” Henry says evenly, “You’ll find everything you need in the box. Then I want you to come back and sit down. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Alex taps the box, grinning in Henry’s direction. “I expect we’ll be leaving soon?”

Henry smiles slyly. “If you’re good, yes.”

Ongoing works

Hashtag Soulmates Mature, AU, Henry writes fanfiction. 23K and 7 chapters so far. Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

That... is all! It’s been a productive summer. I’m very excited to continue writing Hashtag Soulmates, and also to start working on a few upcoming First Prince fics that I’m planning on writing. Stay tuned for fics! ♡

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[reversecreek]

MEET THE NPCS...

BOBBY YANG, “BIG BOB” .

1. how old are they and what do they look like?

thirty-four. implausibly tall. the day magda first saw a sketch of slenderman she thought of him. when her aunt shelly pulled up the dirt road to abernathy creek magda remembers seeing him through a dusty back window with his head bowed to avoid getting tree leaves in his eyes, joint between his lips, dungarees dirty and half unbuckled. one side of his hair is buzzed with no apparent style intention and he has a weed leaf tattooed behind his left ear. an elephant on his thigh. a name on his ankle he often wears a plaster over. once it soaked through and fell off in the creek and, newly glossy in the sun, nine year old magda reached to give it a blunt and shameless prod. big bob never explained who the name belonged to, he only reached to thumb at the minari growing by the water bed and talk about the fact it was a "versatile little sucker”. 

2. if applicable, where and when did they meet your muse?

big bob introduced himself as such and magda raised her eyebrow in disbelief, the soul of a disgruntled pensioner in a seven yr old’s body. magda didn’t rly talk to anyone when she first arrived in her new home, verging on mute. she was angry at the move, angry that her dad hadn’t called her when she got there, angry that she didn’t know her mother’s voice to imagine it telling her everything was okay. the world made her so angry she didn’t want to acknowledge it. she sat outside in silence for a long time letting a ladybug crawl over her hand, and big bob didn’t ask anything of her, he only schlepped closer and presented her with a buttercup. she looked at it like it’d spat in her face but took it nonetheless. it was strange having an actual bed, if you could call a bare mattress that, used to sleeping on the sofa in shelly’s old trailer, and the springs nipped at her like a dog demanding treats, so she wandered outside in one of shelly’s big tie dye shirts like a nightdress, searching for the moon. big bob was standing out there already in the overgrown grass, stark naked, chin lifted to gawk at the moon himself. magda didn’t disturb him. this is when she first discovered his habit of naked sleepwalking. abernathy creek felt like a bird house overrun with all kinds of eccentric, squawking parakeets. it was a lot for a seven yr old to take in. this was a strange reality she’d never signed up for, swallowed by the commune to overheat inside it’s belly. 

3. what kind of a presence do they have in your muse’s life? do they have a positive or negative relationship?

bob’s definitely a character. three times now he’s slipped hallucinogens into magda’s tea without her knowing under the impression that this is just harmless fun and he’s actually helping her by pushing her little boat to bob along the ocean of enlightenment, once at as young as 16. every time she realises he’s like “y’just got bobbeddddd!” and magda’s like here we go ig. told her the raw earth has healing properties to explain why he’d dug up the grass just to rub his hands in the soil and lay there like a panting, overheated dog. he’s an important component to abernathy creek and oversees a lot of the agriculture there. rigged up the irrigation system himself using copper pipes that magda suspects were stolen. the beat up camper van that’s usually parked up behind abernathy and hidden under leafy branches appeared when he did, apparently, although he insists it belongs to everyone. he leads the crusades to drive it up to the mountains and take a group of abernathy creek residents shroom picking. he’s in charge of drying them for selling, too. jack of all trades, really. magda claims not to care for him (or anyone) but she still walked out onto the grass, took his hand and lead him inside whenever she found him sleepwalking at night in her teens. once a group of kids were daring each other to get closer when he was out there and magda threw a stone so hard at one of their shin’s it split it open and made them scatter. but again, magda “does not care about him”. the jury is not convinced.

4. are they revered in irving? do they have bad blood with anyone?

honestly everyone in irving probably thinks he’s a rly strange guy and i won’t fk around. he kind of is. wears many necklaces around his neck n one is just a pouch that has a prehistoric mosquito encased in a little piece of amber inside. sometimes magda wonders if he likes to play up to his reputation by putting it on a little bit. once she saw him suddenly jerking his head like a pecking chicken and saying “g’warn GET” to scare a random middle aged hiker into galloping in the opposite direction in the trees near abernathy. has a masterful knowledge of bird songs and can imitate them all impeccably. sometimes does this instead of replying with words. never cares about the holes in his shoes where his toes poke out. always seems to be turning a rusty coin between his fingers like it helps him think. he makes moonshine that will knock u off ur feet tho which is always a good time if ur lucky enough to try it. he has a very rich n warm voice like a log fire or a gooey chocolate brownie. even with all of his oddities he sounds kind. he’s very unconventional n doesn’t abide by rules of society a lot but he’s quite funny n a good time. makes engaging smalltalk if u treat him with respect. weird but admittedly a tiny bit wonderful. 

OTIS WOLFE.

1. how old are they and what do they look like?

forty-six but he looks older. the skin beneath his eyes is subtly purpled like it’s been dyed by a lick of beetroot juice. he has a very charismatic walk which doesn’t sound like it makes sense but it does to look at him. he walks everywhere buoyantly and with purpose. very high energy in his good days. lives everything in large quantities, good and bad. always used to wear a tan leather bomber jacket when magda was growing up but he forgot it w her one visit n it’s the only time she’s known him to call up two days after leaving to ask if she’d seen it. magda lied and said she hadn’t. she still has it to this day. sleeps in it on her bad days. otis has a smile so big it shines like live wires are sparking in his mouth. magda’s fingertips prickle like she’s an hour recovering from shoving a fork into a plug socket whenever she sees it. she used to think that’s what excitement felt like. that used to be true.

2. what kind of a presence do they have in your muse’s life? do they have a positive or negative relationship?

it’s very complicated. magda knows her dad isn’t a good person but she knows he isn’t a bad person either. sometimes it’s more frustrating to see things in grey because you just want something solid to take shape that u can actually put ur finger on. she finds herself perpetually stood at a fork in the road between believing in him still and deciding he’s no good. sometimes she’ll start walking in one direction only to realise it loops back on itself and she’s right back where she started. otis has given her a lot of fun “adventures”. taught her how to juggle. they stayed in a hotel on someone else’s credit card once and racked up a gargantuan tab ordering every form of room service and renting godzilla and the matrix on pay per view when she was 11. sometimes he’d use her in gimmicks where she had to lie and pretend she had a health condition so they could get a few bucks off charitable strangers on a street corner and under the veil of youth magda found playing up these roles funny because who would ever believe that? wasn’t everyone in the world so stupid except them? it was nice being part of his team. his “little wolfie”. but then a lot of things weren’t nice either. he’s left her stranded on the side of the road with nowhere to go on more than one occasion. he’s passed out in motel corridors and she’s had to lug him into a bed. he’s forgotten almost every birthday apart from one where he sent a card with five dollars inside and handwriting so squiggly she could tell he was drunk when he wrote it. he doesn’t know she likes to sing because he’s only ever listened when he’s fallen asleep. otis is all of magda’s heart and that’s why sometimes she likes to forget that it’s beating. 

3. are they revered in irving? do they have bad blood with anyone?

he’s very flighty n rarely in irving any more tbh but was more when magda was younger n his visits were a little less sporadic. probably owes a bunch of people money for some reason or another. smashed up fannie’s recently when he turned up drunk and got ahead of himself on a giddy n frenzied rampage in the name of “fun” n “just having a laugh”. magda’s aunt shelly really doesn’t get on with her brother n thinks he’s a complete deadbeat waste of space n resents him a lot for the impact he’s had on magda. magda remembers being little and peeking through a crack in shelly’s trailer door when he turned up drunk one time to collect her for a visit n shelly wouldn’t let him in. something along the lines of “you don’t give a rat’s ass about that little girl” and “she worships you, y’know that? most of the time, you don’t even remember her name”. magda crept back onto the sofa and pretended to be asleep by the time she came inside.

4. if your muse is no longer in contact with them, how did the relationship end? did your muse get closure over this?

magda slowly stopped trying to keep in contact over the years. it got embarrassing trying so hard when she didn’t get much back. like pushing a boulder all the way up a hill only to watch it roll back down again. it’s probably contributed a lot towards magda’s inability to really try with people like she should, especially when her heart’s involved. she doesn’t want to be humiliated again. magda hasn’t spoken to her dad in person in almost a year. they had a phone call about seven months back but it turned out to be a butt dial and he hung up because he was in the middle of a conversation at some bar about the moon landing conspiracy. magda’s playlist that i have for her is called “a rodeo clown in a revolving door” which is basically the role otis serves in magda’s life. always in and out. never constant. gone more than he’s there, especially lately. idk if magda will ever get closure over that. she certainly hasn’t now. pouts my fuckable lips to the side w a hand on hip and triple f’s prominent.

[holylulusworld]

Love tonight

Request: Do you think you could do a lion king sort of thing... like Sam and the reader were friends when they were young and everyone thought they’d end up together but then he goes to Stanford and then they meet again after all the shit (all the things he blames himself for) and they have a can you feel the love tonight moment but the reason she had run into Sam was that she needed help as someone who knows of all the things Sam had done and Sam didn’t tell her about what he’d done.

Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean Winchester, Gordon Walker, Ellen Harvelle, Bobby Singer

Warnings: angst, threats, mentions of blood addiction, fluff, protective Sam, scared reader

A/N: We are in season five for my story. Gordon is still alive, just like Ellen and Jo. I didn’t make the reader a hunter, rather a shop owner providing weapons, books and ingredients for hunters.

“Listen, I don’t know what you are talking about, Sir. I haven’t seen Sam Winchester for like seven years. The last thing I heard him say was he wanted to leave for Stanford.”

Stepping backward, grasping for anything to fend the angry hunter off you try to calm Gordon.

“I know you were high school sweethearts and all.” Smirking Gordon steps closer. “Do you know what a monster your lover became?”

“I told you I haven’t seen Sam for years!” Panicked you glance at the door of your store. If you can make a run for it you could reach your car. “How can I know about anything he did?”

“He is not a man, he’s a monster drinking demons’ blood.” Gordon steps closer, searching your face as you take another step backward.

“Blood? This is…” Shuddering you try to buy time. “I didn’t know…” Your hands are shaking as you touch the knife in your jacket. “I swear I have no contact.”

“I don’t care, Sweetie. Sam still has a thing for you. Some time ago…” Now he smiles devilish. “I got hold of him, checked his wallet and there was a picture of you and him in it.”

Your heart flutters at Gordon’s words but right now is not the time to remember your feelings for Sam. If you want to make it unharmed out of this situation you need to play along till you can use the momentum and run.

“What else did he do?” Playing your role you clear your throat. “I need to know, Mr. Walker. If a skilled hunter like you is after Sam, he must be a monster.” Your voice is trembling, but you try to give Gordon your best poker face.

“He started the apocalypse, Y/N. Sam Winchester was best buddies with a demon, drank her blood and is one of those ‘gifted’ children.” Gordon smirks as he can see the doubts creep into your thoughts.

“So, he changed a lot…” Whimpering the words you glance at Gordon who secures his gun and that’s the moment you go for a run.

Dashing toward the door you grasp for the door handle; not caring Gordon is closely behind.

When you are out of the door you zigzag to make sure he can’t shoot you. Your breath comes out in heavy pants, but you make it to your car right before Gordon can get hold of you.

All you can think about is to find Sam to warn your friend that a crazy hunter is after him. There is no way Sam would ever do such a thing…no way…

“Ellen, thanks a lot. That guy is a lunatic for sure. He aimed a gun to my head and threatened to kill me if I do not tell him where to find Sam Winchester.” Downing the offered drink in one go you try to calm your nerves.

“Gordon Walker. He won’t give up for sure.” Bobby grumbles as he paces around his living room. ���Bastard!”

“Is…is anything true that he said?” Glancing at Bobby you can see the struggle all over his face. “He drank blood and started the apocalypse?”

“Not willingly, Y/N. A demon tricked him, killed his brother and Sam, he went after her. He killed Lilith and…” Bobby nervously rubs his neck.

“I get it. He broke the last seal by killing Lilith…” Smirking you give the elder hunter a wink. “I am no hunter, but I know the Bible and lore like my left hand. So, he is not evil?”

“Who is evil?” When Dean enters the room, you recognize two things. He’s still a handsome bastard and his eyes are sadder now. You assume he went through a lot of shit over the last years.

“Dean Winchester. My secret love…” Teasing the elder brother you hug him tightly. “I heard you are dead, Winchester. Did you play Lazarus?”

“Long story, short. Angel dragged me out of hell. Name’s Castiel and he’s member of team free will now.” Dean smirks, pecking your cheek.

“Missed you, Kiddo. How have you been except for Gordon Walker trying to kill you?”

“Good. Awful. Then good again until that lunatic entered my shop and burned it down after I escaped. I hate that guy for sure.” Glancing over Dean’s shoulder you smile, letting go of the elder brother to run toward Sam.

For a moment you just look at each other. Sam and you never needed many words to understand your friend’s needs. Both of your life’s influenced by your dominant fathers, you gave each other shelter.

Sam holds your hands, gently rubbing his thumb over your skin. He breathes heavily, just like you and then Sam finally places one hand onto your cheek to capture your lips in a soft kiss.

Dean chuckles slightly, while Ellen and Bobby leave the room to give you privacy.

Despite the reason, you found each other again no one can take the moment of your reunion away from you.

“I am sorry Gordon was after you because of me. I did awful things and…” Placing two fingers onto Sam’s lips you shake your head.

“Sam, this wasn’t your fault. That guy is crazy. I know you did a few things you are not proud of, but we all have a past. We need to move on and stop Gordon.” Looking up at Sam, grasping for his hand you stand there in silence.

“Y/N…I am not the young man you used to know. I changed a lot.” Sam’s voice sounds broken, his eyes are sad, so you try to lighten his mood.

“I can see that…” Squeezing his biceps you smirk. “You grow some muscles.” Sam laughs at your words, knowing you want to help him relax.

“Y/N, we need to talk about Gordon and what we want to do now but first…” Wrapping his arms around you Sam sighs as you rest your head against his chest. “I’ve missed you, Y/N. All those years I wondered if you forgot about me.”

“Never, Sam. I never forgot about my best friend, my first love.” Mumbling the words, you close your eyes, just enjoying Sam’s closeness. “I already have an idea on how to take Gordon down…”

“Hmm…my smart girl…”

Watching Gordon fight the cops you smirk. He’s yelling something about the son of the devil, cursing their incompetence.

The cops are unimpressed. They are more interested in the content of Gordon’s trunk. Guns, knives and occult symbols catch their interest and will make sure you won’t hear from Gordon Walker anytime soon.

“Great idea, Kiddo. This way we get rid of him and don’t need to kill him.” Dean whispers as Sam worriedly watches the scene.

“What if he gets out, Dean? What if he goes after Y/N again?” While you look up at Sam his elder brother smirks behind your back.

“I guess you need to make sure your girl stays with us in that case.” Shrugging Dean gives his brother a wink. “Only to make sure she’s safe…”

Nodding Sam takes your hand in his, kissing the knuckles softly. “Dean is right. I think you are safer with us around.”

“If you insist.” Smiling you squeezes Sam’s hand, following the tall hunter toward his brother’s car.

“Well, come on Sammy. You can celebrate your reunion later…”

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx​, @screechingartisancashbailiff​, @fallen-wolf22​, @sister-winchesters99​, @mogaruke​, @the-is13​, @helloitsmeamie203​, @sandlee44​, @strayrosesbloom​, @notyourtypicalrose​, @thewinchesterco​, @marvelfansworld​ @hobby27​, @gh0stgurl​, @flamencodiva​, @jay-and-dean​, @voltage-my2dlove​, @spnhollis​, @chonisberonica​, @wittysunflower​, @supernaturalenchanted​, @shikshinkwon​, @yolobloggers​, @hhiggs, @laxe-from-outer-space​, @ilovefanfic86​, @linki-locks11​, @eggingamazinglove​, @trumpettay​, @fandom-imagines1​, @thenamelesschibi​, @waywardbaby​, @straycuties9​, @drakelover78​, @stuckys-whore​, @zxph-yr​, @i-love-superhero​, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt​, @deepmuffinspymaker​, @katsav17, @heyitscam99​, @fandom-princess-forevermore​, @neii3n​, @exo-nova​, @cocklesbelli​, @echoesofpassion​, @lauravic​, @shatteredabby​, @deanmonandnegansbitch​, @sea040561​, @lemondropirwin​, @lonewolf471​, @wronglanemendes​, @juniorhuntersam​, @helpmeluci​, @goodgodimaweirdperson​, @shadowkat-83​, @alltimesamantha​, @officialmarvelwhore​, @meganywinchester​, @miraclesoflove​, @maniacproffesor​, @hollymac79​, @kayla-2000​, @gracefultrenchcoat494​, @babygirls-fav​, @spnwoman​, @amiquette​, @alexoloughlinlover32​, @geekofmanyforms​, @jessica-marsh09​, @spnficgirl​, @shut-themoonscone​, @thequeenreaders​, @countrygal17a​, @atomicfandombomb​, @kteelou​, @soryuwifeyxx, @kricketc28, @defenderrosetyler​, @shortwinchester​, @maybesomedaygayyyy, @tmiships4life​, @sabascio, @that-place-called-middle-earth, @the-broken-angel-13, @bunnybaby89, @pandabiiissh, @maddiedott, @lilulo-12, @theoneandonlymelol, @mblaqgi, @clawsandshotguns, @justsomedreaming, @cassiopeia-barrow, @its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters, @mscarter213, @jo-like-josette, @mep6811, @prettydeaneyes, @rvgrsbrns, @deanwanddamons, @tearsforhan, @skittlebittz, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel

Sam/Jared Forever Tags

@moosekateer13, @thevelvetseries, @train-wrecc

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

multiples of 4

sweet thank you..

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

probably like “pleasure to have in class” and that kind of thing....like, i pretty much just read and kept to myself

8. movies or tv shows?

usually movies ig..

12. name of your favorite playlist?

i don’t really make/use playlists lol it’s absolute chaos

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

god i wish i knew. sometimes it’s criss-cross applesauce and sometimes i’m like i Must stretch my legs

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

definitely anything with a keyboard......but writing By Hand is like, worst case scenario. i’ll take a phone or typewriter or semaphore over that

24. favorite crystal?

uhh shit idk.....some quartz is fine, that comes in like, geode-y form and sparkly form and stuff like that, right

28. five songs to describe you?

lmfao i am neverrrrr going to get this answered if i actually tried so i’m not even gonna make that attempt

32. top five favorite vines?

omg that’s difficult i have like. so many faves but i’ll go with the first ones that come to mind

that only valid “baby it’s cold outside” with the filter and BABY IT’S CO -

speaking of The Filter that “how do you know what’s good for me” one

aw fuck i can’t believe you’ve done this

that dialogue-less one with the kid scribbling hard with a handful of crayons and pausing to give this like, absolutely nefarious look before continuing

AAA stoppp i couldve dropped my croissant

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

lmao i have no idea but i first started being consistently online in 2008. that inception meme was big, and prancing cera was a thing. Advice Memes and earnest rage comics were also pretty prevalent. what a time

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

well during college one time my roommate who had been making the instant “add water, microwave, stir in packet” macaronis for literally 3 or 4 yrs at that point started microwaving one without having added water and it set off the fire alarm in the middle of like january and everyone in the dorm had to go outside. generously calling that weird

44. favorite scent for soap?

i like citrus smells

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i haven’t thought much about what personified traits i read into fruits but if i had to be a fruit of course i’d want to be a mango....

52. favorite font?

i used to default to goudy old style or whatever it’s called. or baskerville old face. nowadays who knows

56. favorite tradition?

i rly have no answer for this lol

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

i’ve literally seen Two anime series, i’m not equipped to answer

64. favorite website from your childhood?

idk i wasn’t Often Online till 14 and would mainly use the pc for Gamin prior to that...there was no standout childhood-defining site for me and that’s why i don’t know much of any basic coding

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

alcohol is taste bad

72. worst subject?

taking public speaking where it’s 25 other people who hate to be there

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

fries....latkes.....mash potato if its Soft......nowadays i just pitch one in a microwave and add seasoning / butter if i’m fancy

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

i’m not really big on Deep colors like that, jewel tones i guess

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts

88. your greatest wish?

i just say some depressing shit here lmao

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps

96. desktop background?

hmm i haven’t changed it in forever but it’s a city skyline at the bottom and the rest is the sky and it’s a lot of purples

[dwestfieldblog]

THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HEAR MUST FEEL

This temporary apocalypse could be seen as a globally overdue Long Night of the Soul, an initiation of sorts which might result in a deeper understanding of what actually matters for human evolution (despite the very best efforts of the scum who are trying to reverse any spiritual progress because it weakens their hold.) There are several ways in which the negative side could truly take over, starting with the horror nightmare prospect of DT (aka ‘Just Another Scumbag’ as Bannon once called him) re ‘elected’. The realistic pessimist in me is sure that if he wins, this planet in this dimension is finished. His winning will be a final signal to the world to give us up. In my lifetime, we have never been so close to the mass breakout of totalitarianism and utter lack of empathy than we are now. Actual fascist populists, not some wet Liberal bleating but the real thing, ready to go live. Covid has bankrupted hundreds of thousands of businesses, millions have lost their jobs, migration from the truly poor and dangerous countries continues...into the becoming poor and dangerous countries. Those who live there and are already ruined by the disasters in every home will be easy prey for the populists. Speaking of whom...

Steve Bannon has spent a great deal of time and other people’s money in setting up a network to overthrow the (arf arf arf) ‘deep state’ and replace it with... a new deeper state...still run by the rich, who will use the populists, who in turn will use the mass of the angry and frightened...etc etc...And power, as most people recognise it, will stay in the hands of the unhuman swine with the most gold and the least soul. WER NICHT HOREN WILL, MUSS FUHLEN...

‘...the human nervous system properly programmed, can edit and orchestrate all experience into any gestalt it wishes. We encounter the same dismal and depressing experiences over and over again because they are repeating tape loops in the central programmer of our brains. We can encounter ecstasy over and over by learning the neurosciences that orchestrate all in coming signals into ecstatic tape loops.’ R.A.Wilson. Prometheus Rising, Hilaritas Press.

It takes a lot of effort and Will to do this but what else is worth it other than to attempt to break out of the vicious cycle and evolve? Even I have managed this when I focus on choosing it. Giving up ingrained behavioural habits often hurts; this is, however, a choice. It doesn’t have to unless you are a masochist.

Flew to England for three weeks in August, full flight sold out, all of us wore masks (apart from one 6 foot 6 mad eyed American who kept pacing up and down the cabin.) Right up to the point where we were all given a bottle of water, some crisps and two biscuits...All masks off at the same time, all passengers attempting not to breathe while we drank and ate. Love seeing how many in both countries wear masks under their nose or even only on their chin. As Bill Hicks would say ‘Any questions why we’re f.....d up as a race?’ As Jonathan Pie does say; ‘Put a f...... mask on.’ I have been coughing since February, and drinking heavily, so not especially optimistic about getting C19.

I avoided almost all of the news while in UK, watched five minutes in total on the TV and only read headlines in the paper. It was enough. Since I have been back in Prague I have continued to avoid the news other than that which I am told by friends and students but I can tell from daily receiving over one hundred emails that things are truly breaking. Hexagram 23 and total Weltschmerz is upon us. Mental health is twisting up globally. One by one, all my friends are suffering serious damage, one way or another. Hearts are breaking apart and many damnable souls, who should be burning, are not. People are afraid to breathe or to embrace, looking to the very worst set of leaders in my lifetime for answers and being manipulated en masse to mass crises.  

(Jaz Coleman....On the Day the Earth went Mad...watch the video, listen. Feel. Weep. Rage. Change.) QUI NOLERUNT AUDIRE DEBERE SENTIRE.

Love the interviews I saw with those who voted for Trump and realised they made a mistake...after FOUR YEARS. What clued them in? Which particular excremental atrocity of his foulness gave them the alert? Will the Electoral College let him ‘win’? Before I left, I saw the Trump interview where he said ‘It is what it is’, with regard to the massive number of deaths in the USA. ‘We are below the world’. Blood pressure rising, I even checked his Twitter account where he published two letters, one from the eternally unlovely NRA and the other from the American Police Federation, assuring him he was the best president to ever serve their interest and they would back him to the hilt. His plan to stir the US up into open civil war continues and Putin sits back and smiles. As does Jared it seems, the smug sadist advisor in the same style as (England’s off Broadway Trump) Boris’s Dominic Cummings.  Herd Immunity? Well yes it might work at some point after a few years and millions dead. You evil alien bastards. The  main individuals in the British Government will make millions from a no deal Brexit, perfect timing. The country will die.

The newest PC bullshit has got even the wonderful JK Rowling into trouble just for speaking her mind politely about transgender issues. I love PC... it is how dumb useless Liberals can act out their secret fascist impulses and feel hard of c..k and wet of p...y...feel good to be so righteous... same with overly ill humoured religious folk,  but the PC tribe cannot use God to justify anything so they are a bit weaker...You morons... ‘People who menstruate’, People with a cervix’? PEOPLE? Really? Women is a bad word is it? Too specific? (Well it has the word men in it, so seems almost inclusive.) You bastards are annihilating language; raping semantics...get another hobby you ridiculous cretins. (Be sure the populists well understand how to manipulate such fools.)

Extinction Rebellion is being used (among a multitude of other groups in other countries, hello Black Lives Matter) by the Kremlin to stir up shite, they are mostly well meaning on the road to Hell. Stop being so dumb and stop helping those who are against you at home and abroad. Dogmatic faith leads to mistrust, violence and hatred, says the lone derranger...And as for the absurd Q Anon, it is those who seek a Deeper State who are using you to do it. Well done.

Jacob Blake, shot seven (count them) times in the back by police even though charged with no crime and paralysed was handcuffed to hospital bed. That goofy twat of a 17 yr boy who wanted to be a policeman, shooting at blacks because he believed he had carte blanc (arf) from Trump to defend his country against ‘terrorists’...he will probably escape much punishment because... he was bullied at school...WHO WASNT?? The only people who weren’t were bullied at home. Guns ‘open carry’ in various states as the NRA rejoice in what they encourage. ‘Your first amendment means I can say your second amendment sucks d...s’. JimJeffries. Damn straight. By the time even I was 17, I had grown out of wanting to kill half the world. Wannabe cops are a little slower. 

Everything is the new normal. Too late for a mid life crisis unless I die at 108 but I never forget that statistically there is more chance of being killed by death than anything else. ‘Heres to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’ Walking... see three funeral services shops in the road leading to/away from the hospital, clever businessmen...walking...masks off, between two conveniently placed flower shops and smoking outside the fuming crematorium in black suits and highly polished shoes. Waiting. That’s us.

I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. Nice headline seen on US newspaper...‘Can any good from cyberstalking your online crush?’I wondered that after falling in fascination with a woman in Germany who wrote like a poet and wove a spell of stories to charm and beguile. I would have walked from London to Hamburg to see if she was real. Everyone expresses love and the need for it in different ways. Reprogramming a deeply imprinted circuit is usually uncomfortable and so it proved for both of us. We shall see...if there is time. ‘One of us is crazy and the other one’s insane’

I can remember one of the days I Changed (seven years old?) We had a history lesson and were told about English kings and their ‘Divine Right’ to rule. Because God told them. And they told the people. And the people believed them. I remember the light in the classroom, where I was sitting, the smell of the tables, old unused ink wells, pencil shavings... and just thinking whatever a child’s version of F..K OFF...THATS BULLSHIT ISNT IT? would have been. That was the first moment I started questioning the class system, gullibility and bastards. A couple of years later, the absolute freedom of being, sent to collect the class register, walking down the empty corridors and not in the classroom...a beautiful feeling of being OUTSIDE. Free. Two of many experiences which have never left me. (The Angel Choir, the Rituals, the EYE across the Multiverse dream, the Reconnection...) Even if Freedom turns out to be as much of an illusion as everything else, it is still as beautifully sensual to me as music.

One summer night in 1990 after my 3rd breakdown, I had a dream. I think. Bear (or even bare) with me on this, I know how this sounds but it is only reporting what I saw in my mind. Two Aliens, thin and shadow like, came though my open bedroom door in the night (I could see the silhouettes) and one took a long shiny silver needle like a hypodermic for a horse and stood behind me and pushed the needle in through the top and centre of my skull, penetrating my brain. I FELT it slowly being pushed in, it hurt but I was paralysed. There was no voice but I heard (try not to laugh) ‘So now you have Superintelligence’. They moved out, the door closed, I slept. As usual with me, I remember every single dream I have ever remembered as if they were films I have watched over and over...and after a dream, the atmosphere stays with me for 23 whores. Later that day, I picked a big hardback book to find some info on something (A Cyclopaedia) with pages as thin as a bible. I sat almost motionless and without food for eight hours, DEVOURING every subject in it. Economics, geometry, geopolitical events, medicine, beliefs, systems.....the next day I finished ninety percent of it and went on to read books by five philosophers from second hand shops, started watching insects, stopped swearing, worked out, and read and read and read. All the knowledge I hadn’t cared about in school and college I picked up that one summer. It led to making new friends, new possibilities, new work, new love and led me to fly to Prague in this sequence while continuing to practice many ‘New age’ techniques by a writer called Stuart Wilde. They all worked and I continued...with regular fallings and breakthroughs.

‘Religion was invented when the first scoundrel met the first fool’. Faith is believing what you know not be true’. The seeker finds a belief and stops thinking for themselves...‘Every ideology is a mental murder, a reduction of dynamic living processes to static classifications, and every classification is a Damnation, just as every inclusion is an exclusion.’RAW

I had a four hour conversation with a Christian bloke, thirty, intelligent, believes in Satan as an actual being with horns. Etc. He couldn’t quite see any flaw in saying that any prophet who saw angels, white light and heard the voice of God, healed, etc but was not actually Christ, was only being tempted and used by the devil. He told me to watch the beautiful side of evil...

‘Every act of authority is, in fact, an invasion of the psychic and physical territory of another’. Human progress ‘is the concrete manifestation of some person’s refusal to bow to Authority.’  

‘WE GOT ELECTED ON DRAIN THE SWAMP, LOCK HER UP, BUILD THE WALL. THIS WAS PURE ANGER. ANGER AND FEAR IS WHAT GETS PEOPLE TO THE POLLS. THE DEMOCRATS DON'T MATTER, THE REAL OPPOSITION IS THE MEDIA, and the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit.’ Said Bannon, who also said. ‘Darkness is good. Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. Thats power.’ Has he met Putin yet? Is he also on speed dial along with Boris and Trump? People! Create better leaders. NOW.

Happy birthday Aleister Crowley on the 12th October and Happy Halloween to all readers, stay healthy and sane (arf) Remember you are magick...buy the re-release of Musick to Play in the Dark by COIL and become moonlight... And those in America, if you actually do truly believe in a good God...go and vote and remove that evil ego and his cohorts in the White House with absolute overwhelming victory or we are done in this lifetime. Be healthy.

LOVE!!!

[redkiteradio]

7 Trends You May Have Missed About fireinsidemusic

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote greater than a decade in the past, the woman who came being regarded only because the piano Instructor available what, in hindsight, looks like an eerie glimpse of her own long run.

Im relocating away currently to a spot so distant, in which no person is aware my identify, she wrote while in the lyrics of a tune referred to as Relocating.

When she wrote that tune, she was youthful and vivacious, a piano Trainer and freelance audio writer who loved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, extensive walks and every thing about New York.

On a type of beloved walks, by Central Park in the intense sun of a June working day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to daily life. After the attack, the terms to her music arrived real. She moved away, away from New York City, from her previous life, and all but her closest mates didn't know her title. To the rest of the globe, she was — much like the a lot more well-known jogger attacked in Central Park 7 many years previously — an nameless image of the city nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.

Now, to the 10th anniversary of the attack, she's celebrating what appears to be her complete Restoration from brain trauma. She's 42, married, with a small child. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and he or she would like to tell her Tale, her way.

Her health care provider told her it could consider 10 years to Get better, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I really feel my lifetime has actually been redefined by Central Park, she reported many days back, her voice tender and hopeful. Prior to park; just after park. Will there ever be considered a time when I dont Feel, Oh, this is the 10th anniversary, the 11th anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch home within a wooded subdivision in the Ny suburb. She sat inside a dining room strewn with toys, surrounded by photographs of her cherubic, dark-haired two-year-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand crammed 50 % the home, and at one position she sat down and played. Her participating in was forceful, but she seemed embarrassed to Engage in quite a lot of bars, and shrugged, rather than answering, when asked the identify on the piece. She questioned that her daughter and her town not be named.

She phone calls that working day, June four, 1996, the day After i was harm.

Hers was the 1st in the string of attacks by the same guy on 4 Gals above 8 times. The last target, Evelyn Alvarez, sixty five, was beaten to Loss of life as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleaning store, and in the end, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.

Still the assault within the piano teacher may be the just one individuals seem to recollect quite possibly the most. Section of the fascination needs to do with echoes of your 1989 attack around the Central Park jogger. But Furthermore, it frightened people in a means the assault to the jogger did not because its instances had been so mundane.

It didn't take place in a very distant Element of the park late during the night, but in close proximity to a well known playground at 3 inside the afternoon. It might have transpired to anyone. The tension was heightened with the thriller on the piano academics identity.

For 3 days, as law enforcement and Medical professionals experimented with to find out who she was, she lay in a very coma in her clinic bed, nameless. Her mothers and fathers had been on family vacation and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. At last, one of her students recognized a police sketch and was capable of determine her in the clinic by her fingers, simply because her facial area was swollen over and above recognition. The law enforcement did not release her identify.

The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is giving a lesson in her studio apartment on West 57th Avenue, then putting her long hair in a ponytail and heading out to get a stroll. She does not remember the attack, While she has heard the accounts from the police and prosecutors.

To me its like a fact I learned and memorized, she stated. As though I were a college student in school learning record.

She would not think about The person who did it. I might need been angry for the minute, but not much longer than that, she claimed. How could I be offended at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I assume by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical professional at The big apple Healthcare facility-Cornell Medical Center, as it was acknowledged in 1996, instructed reporters that she had a ten percent probability of survival. Health professionals experienced to eliminate her forehead bone, which was later changed, to help make place for her swelling brain. When her mother manufactured a community attract pray for my daughter, hundreds did.

Right after 8 days, she came from a coma, very first inside a vegetative state, then inside of a childlike point out. As she recovered, she slept very little and talked continuously, often in gibberish. I was acquiring mad at individuals when they didnt reply to these phrases, she explained.

Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she experienced minimal limited-time period memory and would ignore people as soon as they remaining the home.

Over a number of months, she needed to relearn how to stroll, gown, go through and produce. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every day to play guitar for her. He encouraged her to Participate in the piano, versus the advice of her Actual physical therapists, who believed she could well be annoyed by her inability to play how she as soon as had. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets along with her, actively playing the remaining-hand component although she performed the right.

That was my best therapy, she explained.

In August, she moved back again house to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She visited aged haunts and referred to as good friends, trying to revive her shattered memory. I used to be pretty obsessed with remembering, she mentioned. Any memory decline was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists assumed her development was wonderful, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she had been.

What bothered her most was that she had missing the ability to cry, just as if a faucet inside of her Mind had been turned off. One particular evening, 9 months just after she was damage, she stayed up late to look at the John Grisham Motion picture A Time and energy to Get rid of. Just right after her father had gone to mattress, she viewed a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Adult men who experienced raped his youthful daughter.

The faucet opened, along with the tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my mothers and fathers, my father, and whatever they went by, she said. Very little by small, my sensation returned, my depth of thoughts returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back again to school and obtained a masters degree in songs education.

Not everything went properly. She and Mr. Scherr break up up 5 years after the assault, while they remain good friends. She dated other Guys, but she generally advised them concerning the attack right away — she couldn't support it, she reported — and they by no means called for just a next day.

We have to discover you someone, her Pal David Phelps, a guitar player, explained 4 yrs back, ahead of introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and novice drummer. For as soon as, she didn't say nearly anything with regards to the assault until she bought to learn Mr. McCann, after which when she did, he admired her power.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had normally visited her at her bedside when she was from the medical center, married them in his Occasions Square Business. She wore a blue dress and pearls. Though she was Expecting, within a burst of creative imagination, she and her good friends recorded Although Had been Young, an album of childrens tracks that she had prepared prior to the assault, such as the track Transferring. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, created the CD. On it, her spouse performs drums and she plays electrical piano.

Is her existence as it absolutely was? Not specifically, though she is reluctant to attribute the dissimilarities to her injuries. Her previous two piano learners remaining her, with no contacting to clarify why, she mentioned. She has resumed playing classical new music, but easy parts, mainly because her daughter isn't going to give her time for you to exercise. As for jazz, I dont even consider, she stated.

She would want to drive more, sensation stranded from the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She attempts to be content material with keeping house and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a medical professor of neurological surgical procedure at what on earth is now referred to as New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Clinical Middle, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann once the assault, said last week that her level of recovery was unusual. Shes fundamentally normal, he stated.

Other gurus, who are not personally aware of Ms. Kevorkian McCanns circumstance, are more cautious.

Regaining a chance to Enjoy the piano may well entail an Pretty much mechanical method, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers should do, claimed Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of clinical rehabilitation drugs at Big apple College Faculty of Drugs. The moment Mind-injured, you will be always Mind-injured, for the rest of your daily life, Dr. Ben-Yishay claimed. There is not any overcome, There's only intensive compensation.

The greater telling part of a Restoration, in his check out, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and youngster as an important victory.

For her portion, the piano teacher appreciates she has modified, but she has manufactured her peace with it. I was type of a hyper —— I dont know if I was a kind A, but I had been ambitious, she states. Why was I so ambitious? I used to be a piano Instructor. I dont know what the ambition was about. I actually did return to the individual Im designed to be.

[emilyl-b]

12 Reasons You Shouldn't Invest in best keyboard for beginners

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote greater than ten years in the past, the lady who arrived to become known only because the piano Instructor provided what, in hindsight, looks like an eerie glimpse of her very own upcoming.

Im moving away these days to a place so far-off, the place no person understands my title, she wrote while in the lyrics of the music named Shifting.

When she wrote that music, she was young and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance audio writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, lengthy walks and every thing about New York.

On a kind of beloved walks, by Central Park in the bright Sunlight of the June day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to daily life. Following the assault, the terms to her tune came real. She moved away, out of Ny city, outside of her old lifetime, and all but her closest close friends did not know her identify. To the rest of the environment, she was — just like the additional renowned jogger attacked in Central Park 7 several years before — an anonymous image of an urban nightmare. She was the piano Instructor.

Now, about the tenth anniversary of your attack, she is celebrating what seems to be her complete recovery from brain trauma. She's forty two, married, with a little boy or girl. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Trainer, and she wants to explain to her story, her way.

Her medical professional informed her it would acquire 10 years to Recuperate, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I really feel my lifetime has actually been redefined by Central Park, she said numerous days back, her voice comfortable and hopeful. Before park; right after park. Will there at any time be a time After i dont Assume, Oh, This is actually the tenth anniversary, the 11th anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch household in a wooded subdivision within a Big apple suburb. She sat within a dining place strewn with toys, surrounded by images of her cherubic, dim-haired 2-yr-previous daughter. A Steinway grand loaded fifty percent the home, and at just one point she sat down and performed. Her taking part in was forceful, but she seemed embarrassed to play quite a lot of bars, and shrugged, instead of answering, when requested the identify of your piece. She questioned that her daughter and her town not be named.

She calls that working day, June four, 1996, the working day After i was harm.

Hers was the 1st in a very string of assaults by a similar guy on four Girls above 8 days. The last victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was overwhelmed to Loss of life as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to existence in prison.

Still the attack around the piano Instructor could be the one particular people today look to keep in mind by far the most. Section of the fascination should do with echoes of the 1989 attack around the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened folks in a method the attack within the jogger didn't mainly because its situation ended up so mundane.

It did not happen inside of a distant Component of the park late in the evening, but in close proximity to a well-liked playground at 3 while in the afternoon. It might have occurred to any individual. The tension was heightened by the secret of the piano teachers id.

For three times, as police and doctors tried using to see who she was, she lay within a coma in her hospital bed, anonymous. Her parents have been on holiday vacation and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Eventually, among her students recognized a law enforcement sketch and was ready to discover her from the healthcare facility by her fingers, for the reason that her confront was swollen over and above recognition. The police didn't release her name.

The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is providing a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Avenue, then putting her extensive hair inside of a ponytail and heading out for just a walk. She will not don't forget the assault, Despite the fact that she has heard the accounts of the law enforcement and prosecutors.

To me its just like a fact I learned and memorized, she said. As if I were a scholar in school studying record.

She would not think of The person who did it. I might need been angry for a second, although not a lot longer than that, she said. How could I be angry at John Royster? He was declared not insane, but I suppose by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at The big apple Healthcare facility-Cornell Healthcare Center, as it was recognized in 1996, told reporters that she had a ten per cent chance of survival. Doctors experienced to remove her forehead bone, which was later changed, for making space for her swelling Mind. When her mom built a community appeal to pray for my daughter, thousands did.

Soon after eight times, she arrived out of a coma, 1st in a vegetative condition, then in a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept tiny and talked continually, at times in gibberish. I had been having mad at persons if they didnt respond to these text, she stated.

Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she had minor limited-expression memory and would neglect site visitors as soon as they remaining the room.

Above a number of months, she had to relearn ways to stroll, costume, read through and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, visited every day to Engage in guitar for her. He inspired her to play the piano, towards the recommendation of her Actual physical therapists, who believed she might be annoyed by her inability to Perform how she after had. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets together with her, actively playing the left-hand section when she played the ideal.

Which was my most effective therapy, she said.

In August, she moved back dwelling to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mother, a schoolteacher. She frequented old haunts and known as mates, hoping to revive her shattered memory. I was very obsessed with remembering, she claimed. Any memory decline was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists imagined her development was wonderful, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she were.

What bothered her most was that she experienced misplaced the opportunity to cry, as if a faucet inside her brain were turned off. One particular night time, nine months just after she was hurt, she stayed up late to watch the John Grisham Motion picture A The perfect time to Get rid of. Just soon after her father had long gone to bed, she viewed a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on demo for killing two Males who experienced raped his younger daughter.

The faucet opened, as well as the tears trickled down her cheeks. I considered my mothers and fathers, my father, and what they went by, she said. Little by minimal, my sensation returned, my depth of brain returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went again to highschool and received a masters diploma in new music schooling.

Not every little thing went well. She and Mr. Scherr split up five years once the attack, though they continue to be mates. She dated other men, but she constantly instructed them with regard to the assault without delay — she couldn't enable it, she explained — they usually hardly ever referred to as for any second date.

We have now to locate you anyone, her Buddy David Phelps, a guitar player, said four a long time ago, just before introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and newbie drummer. For at the time, she didn't say nearly anything concerning the attack till she got to be aware of Mr. McCann, then when she did, he admired her energy.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had frequently frequented her at her bedside though she was in the medical center, married them in his Times Square Workplace. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Though she was pregnant, in a very burst of creativeness, she and her buddies recorded Though Were being Youthful, an album of childrens tracks that she had prepared prior to the assault, such as the music Shifting. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, manufactured the CD. On it, her spouse plays drums and she plays electrical piano.

Is her lifetime as it was? Not precisely, however she is reluctant to attribute the dissimilarities to her accidents. Her final two piano students left her, without having contacting to elucidate why, she claimed. She has resumed playing classical new music, but straightforward pieces, because her daughter would not give her time for you to practice. As for jazz, I dont even consider, she explained.

She would want to travel extra, experience stranded while in the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She tries to be articles with keeping residence and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a medical professor of neurological surgical procedure at what on earth is now referred to as Big apple-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Heart, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann following the attack, stated last week that her amount of Restoration was exceptional. Shes mainly ordinary, he stated.

Other professionals, who are not personally aware of Ms. Kevorkian McCanns circumstance, tend to be more cautious.

Regaining the ability to Participate in the piano may perhaps entail an Nearly mechanical system, a semiautomatic recall of exactly what the fingers must do, claimed Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of clinical rehabilitation medicine at Ny University Faculty of Drugs. After brain-injured, you happen to be generally brain-wounded, For the remainder of your lifetime, Dr. Ben-Yishay said. There isn't any remedy, there is only intensive payment.

The greater telling Component of a Restoration, in his perspective, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and boy or girl as a significant victory.

For her element, the piano Trainer is familiar with she has changed, but she has made her peace with it. I used to be form of a hyper —— I dont know if I used to be a Type A, but I used to be formidable, she claims. Why was I so formidable? I used to be a piano teacher. I dont really know what the ambition was about. I actually did come back to the individual Im speculated to be.

[homestuckcanonconfirmer]

15 Tips About best beginner piano

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens tunes that she wrote in excess of a decade back, the woman who came to generally be known only given that the piano Instructor offered what, in hindsight, looks like an eerie glimpse of her have long run.

Im going away currently to an area so distant, in which no person appreciates my title, she wrote within the lyrics of the music referred to as Going.

When she wrote that track, she was young and vivacious, a piano Instructor and freelance tunes writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, long walks and anything about The big apple.

On a kind of beloved walks, through Central Park in the intense Sunshine of a June day in 1996, a homeless drifter conquer her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to everyday living. Once the assault, the phrases to her track arrived real. She moved absent, outside of New York City, from her aged life, and all but her closest buddies didn't know her identify. To the remainder of the earth, she was -- such as a lot more well-known jogger attacked in Central Park seven many years before -- an nameless symbol of the urban nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.

Now, around the tenth anniversary from the assault, she is celebrating what is apparently her total recovery from brain trauma. She is forty two, married, with a small youngster. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and she or he hopes to explain to her Tale, her way.

Her medical doctor advised her it would consider 10 years to recover, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I feel my lifetime has actually been redefined by Central Park, she explained many times ago, her voice gentle and hopeful. In advance of park; immediately after park. Will there at any time be a time when I dont Imagine, Oh, This is actually the 10th anniversary, the eleventh anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch home inside a wooded subdivision inside a Ny suburb. She sat inside of a dining space strewn with toys, surrounded by photographs of her cherubic, dim-haired two-year-aged daughter. A Steinway grand filled half the area, and at one stage she sat down and played. Her playing was forceful, but she appeared humiliated to Enjoy various bars, and shrugged, as opposed to answering, when questioned the identify of the piece. She requested that her daughter and her city not be named.

She phone calls that working day, June 4, 1996, the day After i was damage.

Hers was the first in a string of assaults by exactly the same guy on four Females around 8 days. The last target, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was beaten to death as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and in the end, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to existence in jail.

Nevertheless the attack over the piano Instructor will be the a single people today seem to be to remember quite possibly the most. Component of the fascination should do with echoes from the 1989 attack within the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened men and women in a method the assault around the jogger did not mainly because its circumstances had been so mundane.

It didn't take place in the remote Section of the park late in the evening, but in the vicinity of a popular playground at three in the afternoon. It could have transpired to anybody. The tension was heightened by the mystery on the piano academics id.

For 3 days, as law enforcement and Medical doctors tried to see who she was, she lay in a coma in her clinic mattress, nameless. Her mothers and fathers have been on holiday vacation and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Lastly, one among her students recognized a law enforcement sketch and was in the position to detect her inside the hospital by her fingers, mainly because her facial area was swollen beyond recognition. The police didn't launch her title.

The very last thing she remembers about June four, 1996, is offering a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Avenue, then putting her extensive hair in a ponytail and heading out for the stroll. She isn't going to remember the assault, Despite the fact that she has listened to the accounts on the police and prosecutors.

To me its just like a simple fact I learned and memorized, she reported. As if I were being a university student in school researching historical past.

She isn't going to take into consideration The person who did it. I might have been angry for a moment, although not for much longer than that, she reported. How could I be offended at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I assume by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at Ny Hospital-Cornell Health-related Middle, as it was recognized in 1996, advised reporters that she had a ten percent possibility of survival. Physicians experienced to get rid of her forehead bone, which was afterwards changed, for making area for her swelling brain. When her mother produced a general public appeal to pray for my daughter, 1000's did.

After 8 times, she arrived away from a coma, very first in the vegetative point out, then in a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept minimal and talked regularly, at times in gibberish. I had been finding mad at folks when they didnt respond to these text, she said.

Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she experienced minor quick-time period memory and would neglect visitors when they still left the place.

More than many months, she needed to relearn ways to walk, dress, read through and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented daily to Perform guitar for her. He encouraged her to Perform the piano, against the advice of her physical therapists, who believed she might be disappointed by her incapacity to Perform the way in which she the moment had. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets with her, taking part in the left-hand part even though she played the right.

That was my greatest therapy, she mentioned.

In August, she moved back again dwelling to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She visited aged haunts and named pals, striving to revive her shattered memory. I used to be quite obsessed with remembering, she reported. Any memory decline was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists imagined her development was great, but her two sisters protested that she was not the deep thinker she were.

What bothered her most was that she experienced misplaced the chance to cry, as if a faucet inside her brain had been turned off. One night, nine months after she was damage, she stayed up late to view the John Grisham movie A Time to Get rid of. Just after her father had gone to mattress, she viewed a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Gentlemen who had raped his youthful daughter.

The faucet opened, as well as tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my mother and father, my father, and the things they went as a result of, she stated. Minimal by little, my sensation returned, my depth of brain returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back again to school and acquired a masters degree in audio education.

Not every thing went effectively. She and Mr. Scherr split up five years following the assault, nevertheless they continue to be friends. She dated other Males, but she generally informed them in regards to the assault instantly -- she couldn't aid it, she mentioned -- and they hardly ever called for any second date.

We have to search out you a person, her Good friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, claimed 4 yrs in the past, ahead of introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and newbie drummer. For as soon as, she didn't say anything concerning the attack until eventually she acquired to find out Mr. McCann, then when she did, he admired her energy.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who experienced usually frequented her at her bedside when she was from the hospital, married them in his Times Sq. office. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Although she was pregnant, within a burst of creative imagination, she and her friends recorded When Had been Young, an album of childrens tunes that she experienced penned ahead of the assault, including the music Relocating. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, generated the CD. On it, her husband performs drums and he or she plays electric powered piano.

Is her existence as it had been? Not specifically, although she's hesitant to attribute the discrepancies to her injuries. Her final two piano pupils left her, without having contacting to clarify why, she claimed. She has resumed taking part in classical songs, but simple pieces, mainly because her daughter doesn't give her the perfect time to exercise. As for jazz, I dont even check out, she explained.

She would like to drive much more, emotion stranded during the suburbs, but she is easily rattled. She attempts to be written content with being dwelling and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a scientific professor of neurological surgical procedures at precisely what is now known as NewYork-Presbyterian Healthcare facility/Weill Cornell Healthcare Middle, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann following the attack, claimed previous week that her degree of Restoration was unusual. Shes basically usual, he explained.

Other professionals, that are not Individually informed about Ms. Kevorkian McCanns scenario, tend to be more careful.

Regaining the chance to Engage in the piano may entail an Virtually mechanical process, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers ought to do, reported Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of clinical rehabilitation drugs at Big apple University University of Drugs. As soon as brain-injured, you're generally Mind-hurt, for the rest of your daily life, Dr. Ben-Yishay mentioned. There's no heal, there is only intensive payment.

The more telling Element of a recovery, in his look at, is psychological, and on that rating he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns marriage and child as an important victory.

For her aspect, the piano Trainer understands she has adjusted, but she has built her peace with it. I was kind of a hyper ---- I dont know if I had been a kind A, but I had been bold, she states. Why was I so formidable? I used to be a piano Instructor. I dont know what the ambition was about. I really did return to the individual Im designed to be.

Correction: June thirteen, 2006, Tuesday An short article on Thursday about Kyle Kevorkian McCann, a piano teacher who was beaten and sexually assaulted ten years back in Central Park, misstated the title of her album of childrens music. It can be Even though Have been Youthful, not When Have been Young.

[arieladkins-world]

The cities of #Sodom, #Gommorah, #Admah, #Zeboim and #Zoar, that are still by the Dead Sea in #Israel, were stoned with white #sulfur stones that burned blue and purple #hell fire.

The cities still stand today like they were built with the ashes of the dead and the only thing alive are the millions of white stones that still burn if ignited.

The one who wiped out of existence the 5 cities, #God the #LORD, says, as bad as those sinners were, it shall be more tolerable for them in the day of #judgment, then for our #religious generation.

Mathew 11:24

When God the Creator #LORD sent the two Angels to stone the sinners of the 5 cities, the time for #repentance was over.

Today, the seven #Angels in #Revelation are saying our time to repent is almost up.

But #Catholicism, #Christianity, #Hinduism, #Judaism and #Islam swear by their dead gods that they have nothing to repent for.

They further claim that their specified rituals, laws, holy days and religious dress codes are enough.

God says however, these 5 religions have innumerable victims and blood has reached to the horses bridle in heaven.

Therefore all their laws and strange rituals are nothing more than #Devil worship.

The 7 Angels in Revelation are not standing around God's throne just to look good in angelic garb.

At the time appointed, they will take all people out and off the planet to extinction as written in the Holy Bible.

But instead of religion, namely Christianity, repenting for being more wicked than Sodom, they are praying to Jesus the corpse.

A savior that supposedly rose from the dead like a #Zombie who is dead and alive at the same time.

If that were not evil enough, the revisors of the Holy Bible added to the name Jesus the title of Christ.

The cursed Christian Church tries to say that Christ is just the Greek interpretation of the anointed Jesus.

But when have the Greeks ever known God?

Their religion was limited to a witch named the #Pythia at Delphi and #Medusa whose hair was snakes.

The Christian Church just settles for whatever though and can't grasp the basic knowledge of life and death that is #Christianity 101.

But looking further back for the Christ, we find that he was a priest of #Apollo at #Delphi named #Chrestes who by the way was really anointed.... in #python oil.

The Holy Bible has been damaged, defaced and changed.

The only thing in there that the money grubbing ministers practice is the do-or-die #graveyard laws of #communion, #tithes, the #sabbath and water #baptism, to name a few.

The ministers tell the gullible congregation that they have to keep them in order to be blessed.

But the veil of the temple divided the sanctified laws from the cursed deeds of the law.

So any #Christian or #Saint that practices the forgotten laws of #Moses are not just sinners of Sodom but transgressors.

As written in 1 Corinthians 15:56,

"the sting of death is sin, but the strength of sin is the law".

Islam tells their believers that #Mohammed (a man who married a 9 yr. old girl named Aisha) wrote in the Koran that women have to wear a hijab and Muslims have to keep #Ramadan to be halal.

God says not so, and turns his eyes away from Muslims for that and for the promise they make to themselves to walk from #Medina to #Mecca.

What makes Islam think that God cares about walking around the #Kaaba in circles to nowhere?

The Kaaba was originally a shrine for 360 little statues and idols.

Allah was chief idol with his three daughters who were the goddesses named al-Lāt, al-Uzzā and Manāt.

The other chief idol was a little man named Hubal who had a gold hand.

These were venerated and invoked through a variety of rituals, including pilgrimages and divination, as well as ritual sacrifice.

Although Mohammed would later throw out 300+ idols out of the Kaaba shrine, he kept the chief idol Allah and his goddess daughters to create Islam.

Later on, and in order to make Allah God, his three daughters were thrown away like trash.

(Some Arabs continued to worship Hubal.

It must of been hard to throw away a little fella with a gold hand though.

Just like the Pope can't stop wearing a Jesus idol around his red neck either.)

Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, Zeboim and Zoar were destroyed for their idols and surreal #sins.

But they didn't swear that their idols were the God of Heaven.

The world hadn't fallen that low yet.

They were low enough though in that they lived to trick and torture others everyday.

If strangers and their children happened to just pass by, the Sodomites would pretend to love them and invite them to stay at their house for free.

Then after a while, they would say, how long are you going to take advantage of us good people.

Pay what you owe or we'll take you to the judge.

These cities had already set up fake judges just for this reason.

The person would take the stranger to the judge who would judge against them.

The poor man had nothing but his children and so the Sodomites took them to abuse, torture and sacrifice to drink their blood.

Then they would take everything he had and leave him naked and tied up in a cage like a beast.

The five cities would all agree not to help him at all.

No one would give him water or food as they watched him starve to death slowly.

This was their thing to do everyday.

If there were no strangers, they would make victims one way or another.

Then at night, the 5 cities were sexual deviants with each other.

First they would drink the babies blood fresh from the womb.

Then they would cover their faces and call the #Devil from #hell to come up and join them in sexual body submissions.

There were no rules of decency against raging appetites of sexual insanity.

All 5 cities went to hell willingly by having sex with children in Satanic orgies that would lead to sacrificing them after their excruciating abuse that lasted in unending time.

The children would cry in agony against their tormenters and God heard it.

God the Creator LORD whose voice is like thunder sent two Angels with orders to take the lives of all the people who lived in the five cities that were guilty.

Those who were not guilty by engaging in unholy acts against the children either agreed, were helpers in some way or those who looked the other way, were all judged by God as guilty.

Then on the day, two Angels walked in the city as the people were planning their evil night of lewd sex that also included animals and even corpses.

These Angels were strangers dressed like men and the moment the cities saw them, they thought they had "fresh bodies" to fool, then rape and watch them starve to death.

But the dumb men and hoe women had another thing coming that would melt their bodies to dust and burn their souls in the forever land of red hell fire.

Lot, the nephew of Abraham saw the Angels coming in the city and invited them into his house.

When the wicked Sodomites saw it, they started to bang on the door to get the Angels.

Though it appears that Lot saved the Angels, the Angels were about to save Lot and his family from the white stones of death.

The Angels took Lot and his two daughters out into a safe place as a dark cloud hovered over the five cities.

God thundered to open the cloud and rained brimstone with fire on the heads of the fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, nephews, uncles, grandma and grandpa.

The brimstone (sulfur) was fire in a white stone that burned from the inside out, so that it was self-fueled with #blue fire hotter than #red fire against Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, Zeboim and Zoar.

This is a archeological find of a heavenly marker to be true as also written in the Holy Bible of that great event.

If you think that Gods judgment isn't coming, then believe this evidence with your lying eyes.

For many days of sin, the raw sinners of Sodom thought that God loved them with unconditional love (just like today) until that day.

God has a time limit and once it's fulfilled, and in one day, the 7 Angels come on our reality to take us out to the forever land.

So let us be like Lot and his family who feared God to do the right thing by repentance to God himself under laws of common good.

Let us not be fooled by the highly deceptive ministers who say that all you have to do is keep holy days and practice rituals.

The Catholic and Jesus Christians and Islam are murdererers in history that can't be denied.

God the LORD whose eyes are like lightning, don't forget the unrepented sins that are in the #DNA of the sons and daughters down to the third and fourth generations.

Catholic, Christian and Islamic history is close to our day that we remember in the #Holocaust, #Slavery and the #NativeAmerican blood on my wounded knee.

The people don't learn nothing from history.

Hear this though, God didn't send no man named Jesus to rise like a Zombie to save the world!

I know this for sure because, the world who follow this son of sin, are not saved.

The Savior is the one who created the Earth in 6 days and the one who gives us breath and takes our breath.

God himself, the Creator LORD.

If not, then the future is stones of blue fire in sulfur to take all people to a mass grave and send their souls to hell fire.

Amos 8:3

Jeremiah 25:33

"The slain of the LORD shall be at that day from one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth.

They shall not be cried for, neither buried. They shall be dung on the ground."

Just like Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, Zeboim and Zoar didn't come back from their death to rebuild their cursed cities, the World is not coming back from this next visit from the 7 Angels.

Job 17:1

Our breath is corrupt, our days are extinct, the graves are ready for us.

Isaiah 43:17

We shall lie down together.

We shall not rise.

We are extinct.

Job 34:14-15

If God set his heart upon man, if he gather to himself his spirit and his breath, all people shall die together and the people shall turn again to dust.

Hebrews 3:7

[2whatcom-blog]

The Nice Starvation and the Randomness of the World

That is the fifth excerpt from a work-in-progress tentatively titled Science & Subjectivity. It is a quasi-fictional account of a day within the lifetime of a science author who teaches at an engineering faculty in Hoboken, New Jersey. I name it "faction," anthropologist Clifford Geertz's time period for imaginative writing about actual folks, locations and occasions. The earlier 4 excerpts describe a morning commute, a freshman humanities class, an argument over lunch concerning the nature of fact and a journey from Hoboken to New York Metropolis. The excerpt under describes what occurs after the science author leaves the World Monetary Heart ferry terminal in decrease Manhattan. -John Horgan I go away the ferry terminal and enter Battery Park, headed for Emily's condo, vowing to not see my route as merely a method to an finish. I am going to concentrate, admire the route for its personal sake. However to what ought to I listen? Timber? Flowers? Pedestrians? Pets? The duck pond deserves consideration. The geese inhabit two worlds, heads and backs above water, bellies and webbed ft under, with the ghostly orange goldfish. I watch a black lady watching a white toddler watching a duck till the lady eyes me. This breach within the fourth wall unnerves me. I head inland towards a hulking fortress of slate and glass slabs, the Irish Starvation Memorial. Ringing the memorial is a courtyard of black stones with pale crescent-shaped markings, cross sections of historical shells. Are these fossil-laden stones supposed to evoke deep time? Present a soothing reminder of the transience of human tribulations? No matter occurs, irrespective of how unhealthy, don't be concerned about it, this too shall go, we'll all be lifeless some day, like these primordial fossilized creatures? That is not soothing, that is nihilistic. No, this memorial desires us to remember--to care about--the Nice Starvation, the famine that ravaged the land of my ancestors within the 19th century. Inscriptions etched into glass slabs file the inhabitants's collapse: 4,040,000 folks in 1790, 8,175,124 in 1841, down to five,174,836 in 1881. The Brits let the Irish starve however saved darn good information. The famine drove my nice grandpa from Eire to America when he was only a boy. He sailed from Dublin to New York Metropolis, funneled via Ellis Island, grew to become a builder of slaughterhouses and hearth stations, drank himself to demise on the daybreak of the Nice Despair, abandoning my grandpa, father of my father. If the British had not been so callous towards the Irish, if the Nice Irish Famine had not occurred, I might not be standing right here Starvation Memorial. I might not exist. Rerun the experiment of life on Earth 1,000,000 occasions over, mentioned Gould, guru of contingency, and nothing would ever be the identical, as a result of evolution depends upon randomness, rolls of the cube. You'd by no means once more get mammals, not to mention mammals that invent writing and math and science. Not to mention science journalism. How seemingly is that? Physics, because it was quantized, is much more random than biology. Our world is the end result of infinite rolls of the cube, beginning with the Large Bang, the roll that acquired all the things rolling. If there's a God, He is simply the Large Curler, who has no extra thought the place we're headed than we do. Quotes from large human rollers cowl a wall of the Memorial. This is one from Dwight Eisenhower. "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed." Good speech, Ike, however why did you let that maniac Joe McCarthy run amok? Drag us into the mess of Vietnam? Make that murderous Quaker Nixon your vp? Log out on an enormous H-bomb buildup? We had been one roll of the cube away from the top. And this is Jimmy Carter: "We know that a peaceful world cannot long exist one third rich and two thirds hungry." Good sentiment, however warfare begets starvation greater than vice versa. Churchill throughout World Warfare II confiscated a lot Indian grain for British troops and civilians that tens of millions of Indians starved. The Brits cared even much less about Indians than they did concerning the Irish. As I stare on the Memorial, brooding over humanity's inhumanity, a lithe, tanned lady jogs previous me in a halter-top and silky shorts. She's burning energy to remain match. Lust curdles into resentment towards her and the suited women and men strolling previous me, or sitting at a sidewalk cafe, sipping cocktails and nibbling hors d'oeuvres, throughout the road from the Starvation Memorial. They're most likely bankers, making tens of millions whereas others have awful jobs, well being care, colleges, properties. Bankers assume they're higher than the remainder of us, however they're worse. They're unhealthy folks. Wait. Analyze the difficulty calmly, rationally, with out emotion, the way in which Peter Singer would. Give capitalism credit score for rising international prosperity, the decline of poverty. That is an enormous step ahead for humanity, together with longer life, extra democracy, much less warfare. Issues are getting higher! And bankers aren't all unhealthy. Bankers with Irish blood most likely put up the bucks for this beautiful Starvation Memorial. Singer would most likely say, As a substitute of losing cash remembering the lifeless, assist residing ravenous folks. Singer is so good at laying guilt journeys on us. Think about you are strolling via a park and also you see a child drowning in a pond. You are sporting a brand-new go well with. Do you let the child drown? After all not. You bounce in, save the child, damage your go well with. Solely a monster would hold strolling. Then Singer springs his "Gotcha": In case you spend cash on fancy garments, vehicles, TVs, computer systems, eating places, holidays, stuff you do not really want, you are a monster, since you may spend that cash saving ravenous third-world youngsters. Singer's argument made me really feel so responsible that I grasped for counter-arguments to justify my $150 trainers. I do not eat out a lot, I often put on denims and t-shirts, I drive a Prius. And I ought to get ethical credit score, as a result of I write about how unhealthy warfare is... Okay, that is bullshit. This is one other argument. You may't let humanity's struggling hold you from having fun with your individual life. Pity can develop into pathology. Have a look at Simone Weil, who starved herself to demise to protest remedy of the victims of World Warfare II. What good did that do? Individuals endure and die, however life and the pursuit of happiness should go on. It is like Bruegel's portray of Icarus. He is tumbling into the ocean, drowning, and nobody notices, and that is correctly, life should go on. What good do do-gooders do, actually? Like these antiwar activists I met at a rally who did severe jail time, a yr or extra, for breaking into drone crops and missile websites. They organized upfront for mates to deal with their youngsters. I love your braveness and dedication, I informed them. However I believed, I might by no means abandon my youngsters for a trigger, and what did your protests accomplish? Do-gooders are simply rolling the cube. Even the noblest memes, as soon as they begin propagating, can mutate into one thing ugly. Christ's message of affection evokes the Crusades and Inquisition. Marx's imaginative and prescient of equality and justice results in the gulag. Who will save us from our saviors? Higher have a tendency your individual backyard than attempt to terra-form the planet. I am rationalizing, as a result of I am too lazy, egocentric, cowardly to surrender my creature comforts, not to mention my life, for an thought. Sufficient guilt! I bolt from the Starvation Memorial and head east on Warren Avenue, the place I confront an infinite, Seurat-like tableau. Scores of ladies and boys in multi-colored shorts and shirts chase balls on an infinite emerald subject punctuated by blue and white stripes, yellow cones and nets. Males in enterprise fits yell, "Run! Run! Pass! Shoot! Good!" A girl in a slinky silver cocktail sheath kicks a ball forwards and backwards with a purple-uniformed teen. The lady claps her palms and shouts, "Yeah, yeah!" Busy, profitable women and men taking the time to teach their youngsters, assist them excel, in order that they'll develop as much as be busy, profitable women and men. However you could be a nice guardian and your child finally ends up dumb, disabled, depressed. Or imply. What's worse, your child turning into a mild, unhappy failure or joyful psychopath? A troublesome alternative, however I would most likely go together with psychopath. You need your child to be completely satisfied, proper? Even when he hurts others? I hate scientists who say genes are future, however there is a kernel of fact in bio-determinism. Some youngsters appear born unhealthy. Mike and Mindy are great folks and oldsters. They doted on their daughter, Kendra, and she or he nonetheless grew to become a junkie by 15. Mike and Mindy blew their financial savings on swank rehab facilities all throughout the nation, in useless. After they introduced Kendra residence to dwell with them, she stole from them, introduced unusual males into the home, overdosed in her bed room when she was 20. What would Peter Singer do if his daughter acquired hooked on heroin? Spend $50,000 on rehab when she'll most likely relapse anyway? Or ship the cash to Oxfam to avoid wasting numerous sick, hungry youngsters? Plug that riddle into your utilitarian calculator. The lady within the slinky silver gown is now not kicking the ball along with her son. She's observing me. She digs me. No, she thinks I am a creep testing youngsters in shorts. Time to maneuver. There's an upside to genetic determinism: In case your child messes up, it is not your fault. The cube simply did not roll your method. Additional Studying: What a science author thinks about on his morning commute Stream of Thought Description of Instructing James's "Stream of Thought": A Work of Faction Science, Historical past and Reality on the School Membership What a Science Author Thinks on a Ferry to Manhattan The Thoughts-Physique Drawback, Scientific Regress and "Woo" Dispatch from the Desert of Consciousness Analysis, Half 1 Dispatch from the Desert of Consciousness Analysis, Half 2 Dispatch from the Desert of Consciousness Analysis, Half 3 Dispatch from the Desert of Consciousness Analysis, Half 4 A Bloomsday Appreciation of Ulysses by James Joyce, Best Thoughts-Scientist Ever. Credit score for Bruegel's "The Fall of Icarus": Royal Museums of Nice Arts of Belgium, through Wikipedia Commons. Read the full article

[lids-flutter-open]

when I was a kid I daydreamed constantly before my sister could talk bc I didn’t have anyone to talk to and I would come up w what were essentially Disney fan fictions and then as I started to read all the stuff I read got incorporated into these sort of semi maladapted daydreams and this started when I was like literally three or four and I still remember the like premise of each of the sort of chains of daydreams I had bc they were so vivid and intensely satisfying

-early early like age 4 I remember having daydreams/“telling stories to myself” about Ursula, first just Ursula and like imitating her to myself in bed as I fell asleep and then it was a story about how Ursula was misunderstood and people were trying to kill her and she escaped in her human form onto land to run away and hid in a cave drinking soup made of seaweed and then the townspeople come and tie her up and she like fights them but then gives up bc she is too noble?? Very warped characterization of Ursula but I trusted and loved her

-daydream abt Quasimodo and Esmeralda . At first I made Quasimodo a girl bc I was Quasimodo but I gave up on that and just like relived the scene where Esmeralda is gonna get killed and quasi saves her and then it was like endless chase/capture scenes in my tiny head and then like they went to the caves and Esmeralda defended quasi and told everyone he was good and not bad but they kept misunderstanding him and wanting to hurt him and he had to prove himself

-Atlantis happened and I was mechanic girl but also milo and I rlly wanted to reenact the story and make my friends be the Atlantis princess

- I saw a picture of a roman slave ship in a picture encyclopedia and my dad got me some cd roms about Ancient Rome and there was an animation of a guy getting his hands cut off and about the same time I read a fairy tale in a grimms fairy tale book about a poor peasant orphan girl who gets caught stealing apples and gets her hands cut off and then I think also loses her tongue and like can only bite apples off the tree and like…I had some fucked up stories going on that I knew I couldn’t tell anyone cuz I was like five but like, Quasimodo character had that happen a lot to him

-little mermaid 2 came out and I had a story where Ariels daughter gets turned into an octopus lady instead of a mermaid mermaid

-age seven I read coville’s into the land of the unicorns where the main character jumps off a roof with a magic necklace while being pursued by mysterious figures and lands in the unicorn land and I had a lot of that kind of stuff . There was a story I had about a girl who jumps off a cliff and falls safely ish to the bottom of the cliff and like is super hurt but alive but she fell from so high up that the villagers don’t even know there’s a cliff they think it’s the sky and they think she’s like a witch and they nurse her back to health but then put her on trial

- I read Jane yolens young Merlin series and got to the book where the wodewose put Merlin in a cage and give him like meadowsweet and opiates to induce dreaming and I loved That shit

-kidnapped by goblin :the fucking endless daydream . One was carried down to caves beneath the surface of the earth and made to eat vermin but then you got the trust of an ugly but good spirited teen goblin who taught u to use swords and escape

-alternately , kidnapped goblin has to prove humanity to captor who has placed her in a tower . Captor is either evil or hapless and handsome town miller who has been saddled with the task of keeping her locked up bc he has the biggest building

- sooner or later this becomes “misunderstood werewolf and or vampire” stories

-alien abduction . This starts earlier but just as tiny 6 yr old me going “if aliens captured me I bet they would put me in a very small box” and then getting into small boxes . more elaborate ideas about aliens abducting every human on earth and putting them through like an industrial screening process enter my head later . it gets weird

-Disney villains started all this

[swearronchanel]

Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂  here goes nothing.. 

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN ***        1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?                                                 

 2) just please, because I’m asking nicely                                                     3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?               

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something!                                             5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it  

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt  

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before? 

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age”  IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones”  I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that  they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will  be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them?  Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭