#i have to give 24hrs notice so i still have a little time to decide

[slippery-minghus]

i know that i hardly slept last night has a lot to do with it but ugh it's only monday and i'm already too exhausted to work :(

[eveandtheturtles]

Started with a Kiss Chapter 4 - No place like New York

Story Rating: E

Chapter Rating: T

Warning for this chapter: Panic Attack, reference to stalking situation

Summary: After a roadtrip, it's time for Cheryl and Kara to meet the rest of the turtle family!

A/N: I was too impatient and decided to post it today after all. Please reblog and let me know what you think! Next chapter should be by the end of March

tagging: @madammuffins @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @dilucsflame33 @sharpwindow @pheradream15

AO3 link

The first 24hrs of the drive were pretty uneventful. Donnie, Cheryl and April took turns driving while Kara sulked as unfortunately, her height interfered with driving a van. Donnie drove most of the night, taking over from April and then switching with Cheryl. 

When he was settling down, pulling up his tablet to work on his projects, he noticed that Kara seemed tenser than when the road trip started.

She was still putting on her confident mask but her shoulders were stiff and he could tell she was only fidgeting with her phone instead of doing anything with it. There was something hard in her eyes. Cold. Scared.

Donnie wasn’t good at dealing with other people’s emotions or comforting them. That was all Mikey’s deal. Emotions were complicated with no clear rules, too many variables. His own emotions were a bit of a mess around Kara. He blamed it on them for his next move.

He waved his hand to get her attention. Immediately, Kara’s head jerked up in his direction, as if he tore her away from deep thoughts.

<What’s up?> She asked.

<When we first met, how did you avoid the cameras?>  He shot his question. It was the first thing that came to his mind.

<Oh, it’s a combination of things actually.> She shifted a little in her seat, stiff from being stuck in one position for too long. <I can set my phone to disturb the cameras around me plus, I have designed a special mask that makes it harder for facial recognition programs to spot me. I hardly ever leave my house without it.>

He nodded. Clever.

<Do you have it on right now?> he inquired further.

<No, I think I left it in my bag and we tossed that out when you kidnapped me.>

At that Donnie straightened up a little. They didn’t-. He dropped his hands when he noticed the crooked smile and her raised eyebrow. She was teasing him.

<I would call it a daring rescue actually,> he retorted instead. 

She snorted and bit her lip. <Eh, I’d rate it mediocre at best.>

<Oh, really? Any pointers then?> He grinned.

She rubbed her chin a little. <Well, first of all, don’t carry your damsel like a sack of potatoes. Girls don’t like that.> She poked him.  

He laughed a little, trying to get away from her fingers. <I’ll try to remember that next time we’re under fire.>

<Thank you.> She added a little bow to her reply. <I’m here all week.>

He sighed dramatically. <I know.>

She giggled. <So, since we’re stuck here for the next 24 to 30 hours more or less - Star Wars or Star Trek.>

He made a small ‘oof’ sound. <Trick question, huh?>

<Yup, suffer, nerd.> She snickered.

<I would like to point out that by asking that question you outed yourself as a nerd.> He retorted.

<Bite me.> She stuck her tongue out. 

<Kinky.> He replied faster than his brain processed the word. Heat built up under his skin immediately. <I mean…> He tried to backpedal but she shook her head.

<Oh, I am.> She winked at him with all her usual bravado, giving him a pat on his arm and he laughed. <So, Star Wars or Star Trek?> She repeated the question.

He sighed, grateful for the circle back. <Both actually. Though I lean harder toward Star Trek.>

<Bold statement!>She nodded with respect. <What’s your reasoning.>

<Simple, sometimes you want to watch a space exploration story and sometimes you want to watch one family fuck up the entire galaxy.> He explained matter-of-factly. 

She barked out a loud laugh at that, which ended with her wincing and rubbing her throat. <Good one.>

<You okay?> He looked at her with concern.

She gave him a thumbs up. <Sequels or prequels?>

<The original trilogy, please>

<Wow, you really are a snob for some things, huh?> She teased.

He rolled his eyes. <What about you? I bet you love sequels,> he teased back.

<I actually don’t.> She playfully glared at him. <I can tell there was a concept at some point but it just dissolved in absolute nonsense.>

He nodded. <Alright then… Kirk or Pickard?>

She smiled. <Well, if you must know…>

They fell into a comfortable rhythm. A simple game of ‘What did you think of-’ then discussing the likes and dislikes. The heated debate about the spores drive in Star Trek: Discovery, the groans over the MCU. Kara’s shoulders relaxed and slowly realized she hadn’t laughed so much in ages. Her throat burned. It was worth it though. She didn’t want to stop.

She also found out he was actually watching her streams. When she figured out which viewer he was she clapped her hands. He was her Moira! 

<I can't believe you are one of my Glitches,> she snickered. <So the autograph was really for you, huh?>

Somewhere during the conversation, her legs stretched out, thrown over his. They were both comfortably leaning back. Donnie was still typing away on his device but he was fully invested in their banter.

<What can I say, you had me star-struck.> 

Kara usually didn't really pay attention to her multitude of followers but a few of them stood out. Especially one called DonTron9000. She remembered that one night after- she didn't expect anyone to join her back then. It was 3 years ago. She was just starting with the streaming. The hour was odd and she only got on because she couldn't bear being home alone. He was the first one to jump in. He was funny, smart, and didn't talk down to her. Even if later a few other people did join them she always reserved one specific voice line on her soundboard for him. A dedicated DonTron button. Her Moira. 

Huh. Life was strange… She snorted and shook her head amused.

<What?> He asked, smiling himself.

<You clearly are following my work as a scientist and to top it all off tracking me as H0AX. If I believed it, I'd say it’s fate. Or that you're my stalker.> She noticed that he turned his head away from her, clearly embarrassed. She tapped his leg with one finger and he glanced at her again. <So what - you are having your fan feelings conflicted with the paragon of justice?>

<No, no, it's not like that!>

<So I am still going to jail?>

<No> a pause <probably not, maybe. I just. You are this complex puzzle and I can't wrap my mind around you!> That was honest. That was probably the closest he could get to an answer for her and himself.

She sighed. Somehow she felt bad. He definitely, in some way, used to look up to her. And to be honest… remembering the streams and especially the closed event streams which he always would join - yeah, she somewhat looked up to him as well. Damned be the human emotions and parasocial relationships. <Listen, I’m not- I’m not as good of a person as you probably think I am.>

<No, I had no such delusions,> He threw in with a sour expression. <But if I may- something that my dad once said- you're probably not as bad as you think you are.> At least he wanted to believe that. Otherwise, they all would be in deep trouble.

<Right.> She scratched the back of her hand. 

This was going in a weird direction. She slapped her hands on her thighs. He looked at her confused.

<What do you think of Mass Effect: Legendary edition coming out next year?> She tried to steer the conversation to something more comfortable.

<I'm not sure, I haven't played the original trilogy.>

<What? Oh, you gotta! I love that game!> And thus new direction sparked up.

It all went on, with breaks as they had to eat and make pit stops here and there. Eventually, it was getting closer to sunset and April reminded Donnie he needed to sleep a little before she'd let him drive.

They were getting closer to New York when she finally called him to the front of the car. Kara and Cheryl were napping.

“Donatello, reporting for duty,” he joked as he awkwardly slipped into the front seat next to April. 

“Hey Donnie," she smiled. 

"There should be a gas station an hour away from us." He read his device. "Good spot to refuel one last time before we reach New York."

"That's great," she said. It was time for the uncomfortable moment. April cleared her throat. "So, how's Kara? You two seem to be getting along?"

"Yeah, she's… an interesting person," he agreed slowly.

"I figured,” she smiled. “You talked a lot, do you have any answers?" She asked carefully. 

"I am not falling for her if that's what you want to know," he replied, giving her a sharp look. "I mean, I probably am, but I am not an idiot. I know she'd most likely try to play me." He thought back to the night of the shootout. While he loved their conversations and he recognized the symptoms of a crush in himself he knew she was most likely very opportunistic. That first impression really stuck. "I finally managed to hack her phone though." He was honest in his talk with Kara but the safety of his family always came first.

"Oh," April glanced at him. "Anything interesting?"

"A lot actually, I sent most of it to the lair," he shrugged. 

"I see, so what do you want to do?" She looked over her shoulder quickly at the two sleeping women.

"I think it will be best discussed with everyone." He looked up from his screen. "I think she is hiding something. There was a trace of a text message from a couple of hours after we set out. I can't recover it though." He frowned, shutting everything down. "But she got really weird after it. It might be worth looking into and… I still don’t want her in jail but it will be a group decision."

April nodded. "So you are trying to get her to trust you?"

"Mostly, yes," he nodded. "I want to be sure she won't hurt my family."

“You and me both,” April smiled and they fist-bumped. 

Kara wasn’t sure what she expected but the lair in the storm drain sewers wasn’t one of them. Her eyes went wide as she took in her surroundings. She easily spotted Donnie’s ‘command center’ and the lab. A drumset, a punching bag, and weights. A ‘Japanese corner’ of sorts. Everything was neatly divided into sections. Then she saw them. The remaining three brothers. The angry red one. The stoic blue one. The bouncing orange one. 

“Why are there two of them?” Raph fired the question first after everyone got out of the van.

“Hello to you too, brother,” Donnie replied. “The travel was okay, thanks for asking.”

“It’s good to have you back,” Leo approached them, giving April a hug. He turned to Donnie, took his hand and they bumped their shoulders. “But Raph has a point.”

Suddenly, Mikey fell down to the floor, jumping off from his hoverboard.

“Guys, guys, let’s not be so rude to the ladies!” He raised his arms to get the attention. Then he turned to ‘the ladies’. “Welcome to our fortress of awesomeness.” He bowed deeply. “I’m your host, Michelangelo, you can call me Mikey, my lady~.” He grabbed Cheryl’s hand and leaned to kiss it.

Cheryl and Kara exchanged looks, while April just looked amused. The bros collectively groaned. “Mikey.”

Cheryl smiled sweetly then quickly manipulated her fingers in his hand pressing hard on a nerve. “I’m Cheryl and I just don’t swing your way.”

“Ow, ow, ow.” Mikey dropped to one knee.

She released her hold and took a step back. “It’s alright, better to establish things early.” She and Kara high-fived.

“Okay, I like her,” Raph said from the back. 

“You can watch them then,” Leo told him and pulled Donnie to the side. 

Mikey massaged his hand. “Damn you don’t play around, huh?”

“Experience and precaution,” Cheryl responded.

"Must have been some experience," Raph walked closer. "Self-defense classes?"

"Yep, krav maga, pepper spray in the bag as well," she smiled looking up at him. "With a taser."

"Nice," Raph nodded with respect. "Always looking forward to a new sparring partner if you ever need one," he offered and she snorted. 

"Thanks, I will keep that in mind."

"Alright." Leo pulled Donnie away from the group. "Talk." 

"Well, I texted you everything on our way," Donnie said to his brother. "What has Chief Vincent said?"

"She's interested but wants to talk to the hacker first,” Leo informed him, “but this isn’t what I mean.”

“What then?”

“When I was talking with Chief Vincent, she was in the room with their IT specialist,” Leo said slowly, his arms folding as he looked straight at his brother. “He said that it’s strange we just didn’t confront her in New York since your files clearly had her address.”

Shit.

“Now, I don’t know why you chose to lie to us, but I hope it was a damn good reason,” Leo placed his hand on Donnie’s shoulder. “Because if she puts our family in danger… I would not want you to bear the guilt of it.”

Donnie swallowed. “Right.”

“I trust your judgment, little bro,” Leo continued. “I hope it’s correct this time as well.”

Raph was pleased to find out Cheryl wasn’t involved in any crime. She was fun to talk to. Donnie would still get a stern talking to about getting his crime-wife into the lair. Like they didn’t have safe houses around the city. Specifically for this kind of stuff.

“Kara’s not as bad as you make her you know,” Cheryl defended her after he voiced his opinion. “She never put me in danger before and I’ve known her since elementary school. She is really protective of people she cares about.”

“You’re saying that 'cause she’s your friend,” he huffed.

“True, but doesn’t make it false,” she retorted with a shrug.

“Hey, guys?” Mikey popped his head in Raph’s line of vision. “Don’t want to kill the vibe but- she’s gone.” 

“What?!” Raph pushed Mikey aside and looked around. Has he really-?! "Where is she?"

"I don’t know dude, but she left like 5 or 10 minutes ago,” Mikey popped a chicken nugget into his mouth.

“And you didn’t say anything?!” Raph grabbed his head in disbelief.

Mikey shrugged. “She gave me nuggies, I thought she was going to the toilet.”

Raph cursed. He had to find that pest!

Kara meanwhile explored some more of the lair. It was huge. It burst with the individuality of each brother but she also noticed the lack of doors. There were screens installed here and there but the main area was an open field for the most part. What of course was calling to her the most was the science part belonging to Donnie. 

On her way there though she was distracted by a single "room". It had bonsai trees, and beautiful ornaments. It had a generally different vibe. 

Suddenly a piece of paper fell on her head. 

'Hello' it read with an arrow pointing to her left. 

She turned her head and jumped a little. A giant rat was looking at her. His hands were protectively wrapped in bandages and he was wearing a red robe. It gave her a pause and he patiently waited for her shock to wear off. 

A notepad in his hands clued her in that he was the author of the note. When her pulse calmed down and her shoulders relaxed he smiled softly and wrote another note and showed her the notepad.

'You must be Kara. I am Splinter, the father of the four young turtles you have met.' She read and smiled back at him, giving him a nod in response. So now she had a face to put in the stories Donnie told her.

Meanwhile, Splinter wrote another message. 'You have quite captured the attention of Donatello. It's been a while since I have seen my son interested in anyone this much in a long time.'

The rat handed her the notepad and she took it. 'I think it's less of an interest and more of an annoyance. I tend to have that effect on people.' She joked. 

 Splinter chuckled, having read her response. He offered her his arm, which she took and he patted her hand. It seemed she was about to have an interesting afternoon tea.

Raphael barged in on them about 10 minutes later while they were playing shogi.

Kara watched Splinter scold Raph and the big guy trying to look apologetic while glaring daggers at her. She just slowly sipped her tea. It was a really nice blend and so well made! She grinned at him which earned her more scowling. 

It was hard to read what Splinter was saying as the rat’s mouth was so different from a human but she noticed him mention Donatello’s name. She wondered just how much trouble she got the tallest turtle in.

Just as she finished that thought the blue and purple brothers appeared at the mouth of the room. Both of them gave her stern looks as well. Well, shit. She apparently tanked on the best guest to the lair list. 

<You shouldn’t have walked away on your own,> Donnie scolded her. 

<Yeah, sorry.> She rolled her eyes. <Can I borrow some tools?I need to fix my hearing aids.>

He nodded and quickly told his father and brothers where they were going. This seemed to earn an air of slight disapproval but no one stopped them. She had a feeling she might not get along with Leo. 

At the lab, Donnie handed her some tools and sat nearby to watch over her.

She gave him an amused look. Did he really think she would- okay yeah she would. His lab was amazing. So many projects he had placed around, schematics, his computer. Her eyes were sparkling and her hands were itching. But for now the more important thing. Fixing her hearing aids. 

She sat down and opened the tiny device. From the corner of her eye saw Donnie lean in closer. Curious, huh? It was an easy fix just a wire fried and another got out of alignment. Did and done. She closed it up and placed it over her ear, together with its pair. 

<Say something> she told Donnie. 

He nodded. "Test, test, one two three."

One quick adjustment later, she had her hearing aids working properly. 

"Why do you wear them?" Donnie asked, signing simultaneously. He had the impression Kara was very comfortable in being Deaf.

<Well, they have their uses,> she said. <They're fine in places with minimal noise though useless if we'd be somewhere loud. But the outside world doesn't always take kindly to my preferences. And there are certain perks to them,> she smiled. She couldn't not do that. <Like music, sounds of birds, and knowing more or less how your voice sounds like.>

Donnie coughed, clearing his throat, and she giggled. 

"Can you not do that?" He sighed, exasperated, signing as he spoke.

<Do what?> She asked, playing the innocent, eyelashes batting. 

"Flirt with me. I know you are doing this to gain my favor," he grimaced.

<I wouldn't be flirting with you if I didn't think you were attractive past that van kiss,> she retorted and watched him visibly flustered. 

He couldn't blush but he blinked, straightening up and his expression morphed into a startled confusion. He was speechless

<And that is why I do it. Don’t think too hard on it, though,> She winked. <Also you don't have to pretend to be friendly with me to get things out of me. I noticed your successful hack on my device. Congrats.>

He huffed and shook his head. <I guess we're even?>

<I guess we are.>

<Will you tell me what that deleted text was about then?> He dared to ask.

<No, that's private and doesn't pertain to any of the stuff between us.> She straightened up, narrowing her eyes. 

At that point, Leonardo decided the two had enough alone time and decided to interrupt. 

"Donnie, bring your friend to the main area," he said, giving Kara a look. 

"Be right there," Donnie replied. 

When they arrived Raph was sitting down, arms folded and displeased, Mikey was watching fascinated as Cheryl demonstrated some physics-based home experiments and Leo was standing up.

Donnie gestured to Kara to sit and she took the chair, landing between him and Raph.

"I have finished talking with Chief Vincent and informed her that Miss Williams has-" Leo started talking but a robotic voice from Kara's phone interrupted him.

"Dr. Williams," she corrected him. "I did not get that PhD to just be called Miss."

“Right, Dr. Williams,” Leo corrected himself. “has arrived into our custody. She wants to meet with you tomorrow evening.”

Of course, she did. Kara huffed. <I don’t want to talk with the police.> She grimaced.

Cheryl translated as she reached over and placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. She then looked at the turtles. “Is it really necessary to go to the precinct? Can’t she come here or somewhere more neutral?”

The brothers exchanged looks. It was true that after what had happened since May… 

“We could take her to April’s or one of the safe houses?” Donnie suggested.

“I can arrange that,” Leo agreed. “But what I can tell you now is that after seeing all the files you had she’d be more than willing to give you protection. If your story checks out.”

It was better than nothing she had to admit. Cheryl’s comforting presence was giving her some sort of confidence.

<If it’s all the same to you, I think I’d rather have you four around than some cops,> she told them. <Especially, since I know Donnie.>

Leo nodded. He glanced at Raph who was unusually quiet. 

"Raph?" 

"You know where I stand, Leo," the red masked turtle replied. "She causes any trouble for us, I will throw her out."

"Did you get that?" Leo looked at Kara and she gave him a thumbs up. 

<I just have one question,> she signed.

"What is it?" 

<Do I have to stay here? No offense but it is a bit damp here and my hair is not going to love it.> She really wondered how Donnie kept the dampness away from his machinery.

"It is a valid question," Cheryl added.

Leo sighed heavily. "We'll think about it."

"Do I have to stay here as well?" Cheryl asked. 

"You're free to go, but we will be monitoring you for your own safety."

That settled things for now and the meeting was adjourned. 

Kara leaned back in her chair and looked at Cheryl. <Can you bring me back some of my stuff?>

<Sure, get me a list, I bet these guys will not let me go on my own so maybe I will get free bag carrier service,> Cheryl joked. 

<Great.> She quickly opened her notepad app and wrote a quick list of necessities then shared it with her friend. This way if she remembered something last minute it would update Cheryl immediately. 

Later, Cheryl got escorted by Raph and Mikey to the apartment building she and her friend lived in. It was an older building, well renovated for the upper class. 

Mikey whistled looking at it. 

"Nice digs."

"Thanks. Kara owns two floors of it," she said.

"Paid with that dirty money, no doubt," Raph grunted. 

"Actually no, she gets paid a lot for the legal projects she is part of," Cheryl explained. "I don't know why she still does things the way she does but I trust her." 

She slipped them all through the back door and led them upstairs through the old service staircase. Technically it shouldn't be in use but the two friends discovered it one day and kept it as an emergency escape. They all climbed to the top floor and Cheryl let them out through a hidden exit. Raph struggled a little with the narrow and low door but even he squeezed through.

"Okay, here's the… flat…," Cheryl froze in front of the door. 

A cracked open door with a busted out lock.

"Shit."

"Oh, that's not good," Mikey winced. 

The two turtles exchanged looks and pulled out their weapons just in case. 

Cheryl walked inside the flat, following behind Raph, with a sense of dread filling her insides with ice. 

The apartment was flipped upside down and there were definitely things missing but what scared her nearly to a panic was a single rose on the counter. It didn't seem like the two noticed it yet so she quickly swiped it and threw it into the trash. But not before getting the note off of it.  

She inhaled and dug her hands into her pockets. Then she went on to asses the damage. 

"So, anything in particular missing?" Raph asked when she finished. 

"All the electronics, Kara's streaming rig, some jewelry," she counted out the list. 

"I'll call Leo, you're probably going back with us to the lair after all," he decided and she didn't protest. 

"I'll just pack some clothes and toiletries. At least those are still here," she mumbled.

While she was packing, Raph called Leo. The two discussed the new situation. They got April on the call and with Cheryl's agreement it was agreed she'd crash at the O'Neal-Jones place. At least until they can sort it out.

Next was calling the break-in to the police. Something that Cheryl was reluctant to do.

"Let's just say, we didn't have the best experience with cops in the past," she explained and the turtles just nodded. 

After the Krang situation, the four brothers still held that hopeful idea that cops were supposed to protect the citizens. They still were on good terms with Chief Vincent. She was a good woman and the officers from Headquarters that initially helped them were alright. That was why they still helped the Chief with difficult cases, but in majority… The turtles had to stop cops from abusing their powers in the streets just as often as regular criminals. Especially in the poorer neighborhoods. Bullies were everywhere and they loved positions of power. 

Still, the report had to be made. 

Raph and Mikey took all she packed to the lair and she stayed behind to give her statement.

Kara frowned when she noticed the increased amount of luggage. She didn't ask for this many things. When she asked what happened an icy feeling crawled up her spine. Thankfully she kept her important tech in a different location, so the thieves shouldn't be able to get anything incriminating from it. 

When Cheryl returned, brought in by Leo, she left the turtles after giving them a brief recount of what happened after they left and immediately went to Kara. The two pulled into more private space, away from the turtles. 

Cheryl made sure they were alone and then pulled out the crumpled note. Kara didn't need to read it to go ashen. Her hands trembled as she took it from her friend and opened it. The message was simple: 'Payback <3'

Her legs gave under her and her throat squeezed and her heart raced. Her vision went blurry and she fought to get another breath in. Her knees almost hit the floor but Cheryl caught her. Tears streamed down her face and her hands tightened on her friend's arms. 

Donnie walked in on them as Cheryl had her in a tight embrace comforting her and waved him off. She pinched her to bring a new sensation and try to break the panic.

Cheryl pulled a little back and placed Kara's hand over her sternum, while placing her own hand over Kara's. She gestured with free hand to follow her breathing. Slowly. In and out. The two synchronized. 

<Better?> Cheryl asked and Kara nodded slowly. Exhausted, the small woman slumped against her friend. 

Cheryl looked to Donnie who was still there on the fringes. 

"Is there somewhere that she is going to be sleeping that I can get her to now?" She asked him quietly.

"Uh, we haven't organized anything yet, but you can put her in my bed. I rarely use it anyway," he offered. 

"Thanks," she replied. 

She helped Kara walk to the nook that was Donnie's bed. A quick run later to the luggage and with small help from Donnie she brought Kara's weighted blanket and covered her friend up. 

Kara curled up in a ball and sighed with some relief when the heavy cover swallowed her up.

Donnie waited until Cheryl stepped back from her friend to ask her what was bothering him. 

"This isn't just about the break-in, is it?"

Cheryl hesitated. "There's more to it yeah but- it's her choice to tell you guys. That stuff… it's very private."

"We can't help if she hides something vital," he pointed out. He thought for a moment then asked one more thing. "Does it have something to do with the scar on her throat?"

The flash that went through Cheryl's face was enough of an answer for him. 

"That's what I thought." He nodded. "I'll wait." 

[tbhchoi]

insomnia

pairing: seonghwa x reader

genre: fluff, angst ending (might add a pt 2 with a happy ending)

synopsis: in which two insomniacs randomly meet at a café and end up talking through the night. little did you know, you were never going to see the mysterious man ever again.

word count: 980

this is one of the first pieces i've ever written and it's not edited/proofread, i apologize for any mistakes

when you walked into the 24hr café that sits on the corner of your block, you never expected the night to go the way it did.

upon entering the café, at 2am, your usual time, you walk up to the cashier and give them your usual order, a caramel frappe with three extra pumps of caramel and of course you can’t forget the whipped topping. once you finish paying, you head over to the area where all the finished drinks are picked up. usually no one else is here at this time, but tonight there’s a man you’ve never seen before; a handsome one at that. 

“y/n, caramel frappe with three extra caramel pumps and whipped topping,” the barista calls for you to pick up your drink. after picking up your drink, you head to your usual seat in the café, the two person booth in the far left corner of the place. 

“you’ve got great taste,” you hear an unfamiliar voice say as you start to walk away. you turn around to place the voice to a person, it was the unknown man. 

“i get the same drink,” he continues. 

you smile up at him, “then i guess we both have great taste, huh?” 

after the short exchange, you turn back around and head towards your booth. while lost in thought, not only do you not hear the barista call the mans name, you also don’t notice him standing beside the booth you’re seated at.

once you notice you ask, “may i help you?”

“i was just going to ask if i could join you. turns out we have a lot in common as this is my usual seat as well,” he says while letting out an awkward chuckle. 

honestly you could do with the company and it doesn’t hurt that he is probably the most handsome man you’ve laid your eyes on, so you invite him to join you. at first, it’s a tad awkward as you both sip your frappes in silence but finally you break the silence by asking his name. 

“seonghwa,” he answers, “yours?” 

“y/n” 

“well y/n, may i ask what you’re doing here so late, aren’t you tired?” he asks.

not wanting to give too much away to someone you’ve just met, you try to push the question back to him, “tired? always, but i could ask you the same question. i come here every night but this is my first time seeing you here.” 

“i usually come here early am, usually around 5am when i just can’t stand staring at the ceiling any longer, but tonight that feeling came faster than usual i guess,” he answers honestly.

turns out he really does seem to be just like you, just two insomniacs who wish they could get some sleep. you end up explaining your reasoning for being there and how you come every night and sit in this exact spot waiting for tiredness to overtake you. he listens to you, and when you look up at him you see his face has a look of genuineness.

before you know it, hours have passed and it’s already 6am. you spent the last few hours talking about everything and anything. you learned about what seonghwa does for a living and he learned that you’re still finishing up university. you both talked about those close to you and found out that you both would do anything for your friends and family, a trait you both find endearing. the conversation flowed easily and there were never any awkward pauses once it started, from all the light topics to the heavy ones, everything felt normal. as if you were talking to a lifelong friend, or better yet, a long-term partner.

once you both realize the time, you decide it would be best to end it there. strangely though, you both didn’t feel like leaving. there was something drawing you two to each other and you were afraid if you left now that you’d never see seonghwa again. 

as you’re getting ready to leave, he stops you and tells you that he won’t be here again tonight but tomorrow morning he’d be here before work. 

not giving it a second thought you tell him, "i’ll be there,” while getting up from the booth. 

“great, it’s a date then,” he confirms and then upon giving one last flawless smile, he walks away. 

the next day and night you keep replaying moments from that night and going over conversations you two had. never did you think you could learn so much about someone in such little time. never did you think, a connection or maybe even a relationship could form so quickly and easily with someone. 

maybe soulmates do exist you thought to yourself while entering the café at the time you two decided. 

little did you know that thought would soon vanish. hour after hour after hour you sat there waiting for seonghwa. you watched as the whipped topping slowly melted into the caramel frappe you ordered for him. 

after waiting for hours on end, you realized he was never going to show up. you got your hopes up for nothing.

you walked home that day with a feeling of regret, you opened up so quickly about so much because there was a connection, well you thought there was. you pushed your sadness down not wanting to be upset over a man you met one night ago. maybe there wasn’t a connection and it was all in your head. but why would he plan a time to meet? did he really not feel anything either?

the following nights you visited the café at your usual time, you kept telling yourself you weren’t looking for the mysterious man but deep down you weren’t fooling yourself. and every night you got more heartbroken at your revelation. you really never would meet the strange, handsome man ever again.

—

© tbhchoi. all rights reserved. all reposts, along with translations are prohibited.

[sleepy-exe]

Shapeshifter AU - 2

Iwaizumi x f!reader

<< Part 1 | Part 3 >>

Summary: A fellow wolf shifter friend joins Y/n on another late night run through the forest. Y/n needs to learn to watch her surroundings. Sakusa is a good friend but also lowkey tired of Y/n’s shit.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings for this part: y/n and sakusa are wolf shifters, mentions of stress, sakusa struggles to drive a manual, there’s nothing crazy here

Genre: sfw (for now, 18+ regardless), shapeshifter au (not a/b/o), potential enemies to lovers

a/n: Sakusa is not the same friend y/n talked to in part 1. I swear not every part takes place in the woods. The next part is elsewhere.

Part 2: A Wolf In Human Clothing

It has been nearly 4 weeks since Y/n may or may not have been spotted by a human in her wolf form near the forest outside of Higashiosaka. It was the only place she could think of to safely run at as a wolf anywhere near Osaka Prefecture, and this was the only run in she had since being in Osaka, so she wasn't about to give up her favorite spot. She had continued her normal schedule of going every five days or so, and this time she brought a friend. Y/n had met Sakusa through a friend a few years back and was ecstatic to find another shifter close to home. He rarely went with her to the forest, but sometimes she could convince him to join her if she didn’t want to go alone.

This time she parked at the small lot she had stumbled by before. It seemed to be an overflow lot for nearby buildings but didn’t get much attention at night. She had been able to use it a couple times for short visits without issues. The two of them snuck off into the forest before shapeshifting into wolves.

Sakusa took the lead. He may tower her normally, but his wolf isn’t much bigger than her. The forest was dark tonight and she was reminded just how hard it is to spot them in the dark with their black coats. He was only trotting along, far from the full sprint she favored when alone, but she can’t be picky when she dragged him out here. She’d get a chance to run at some point. The agreement for the night was simple: Keep it under an hour, say near each other, and Sakusa gets to lead this time.

Twigs and leaves crunched under heavy paws, fur swayed with the wind. The air was cooler tonight as fall was just starting to roll in. Not many leaves have fallen yet so there’s still plenty of cover. Clouded sky blocked most of the moonlight from reaching the forest floor, but that wasn’t much trouble for the wolves. Deeply inhaling the scents of her surroundings, she cleared any city fumes from her lungs as she followed Sakusa a good kilometer as he took a different route than what she often frequented.

Soon he slowed as he approached a stream and sat in the grass just for her to circle him, kicking leaves at his feet. She was here to have fun, not sit around when he had already cut her preferred time here in half. He only eyed the other shifter for a second before completely ignoring her to which she pouted, dropping to her side with an exaggerated huff.

As she laid there she noticed more sounds. More insects and bats than she would have expected. Rolling onto her back, she looked into the sky to watch any bats her eyes could catch. Sakusa was surveying the area from his chosen spot, but was now looking up as well after catching sight of the belly up wolf. The both of them stayed like that for a while, enjoying nature around them.

At least until Y/n had enough and promptly rolled to her feet with a low growl, grass and dirt falling as she shook out her coat. She gave Sakusa’s side a playful nip before taking off in a dead sprint. At first, he just watched her. Then decided he better make sure she doesn't get lost, or rather him as he doesn’t come out here half as much as she does. With an annoyed exhale, he chased after. With her head start, she covered quite a bit of ground before he even stood up. It was dark, but she was making enough noise for him to follow the new route she was taking.

Eventually she looped back to the tree line where the two wolves had started. Looking back, she saw she won the impromptu race and shifted from her wolf form once more before turning towards the parking lot to leave the tree line, only to freeze in her tracks.

New vehicles had relocated to the lot. Not surprising given it's not too late. One of Sakusa’s rules was to be back to the car by midnight and she was sure she didn’t push it too much. What caught her attention was a dark green truck, she now recognized as a Toyota, parked between where she was and her black Honda. The man in the truck locked eyes with her before she whistled over her shoulder to signal to Sakusa out of fear. This couldn’t be the same truck and person. She couldn’t have been caught twice now. Especially not by the same person, no.

She took a few long breaths before slowly exiting the tree line and walked around the parking lot, avoiding the green truck but also not walking straight to her car out of caution. She took to the sidewalk and walked towards a 24hr convenience store directly next to the lot, choosing to be in a more public place and not alone with the stranger nearby. But before she reached the store, the familiar Toyota pulled out of the lot and headed down the road.

Once out of sight, she quickly walked back across the lot to whistle into the woods again as Sakusa had stayed away like she hoped. Not more than five seconds went by when she spotted Sakusa leaving the trees, no longer the black wolf he was when she left him behind. She quickly got into the passenger seat of her Honda, non-verbally asking him to drive. He didn’t prefer to but would anyway if she asked nicely enough. Soon he was climbing into the driver’s seat.

Brows furrowed, he frowns, “You left me in the forest and expect me to drive? Also, what was the warning for when you were out here?” He was obviously annoyed by the whole situation. Being talked into coming here, then left behind, then the warning signal. He had the right to be.

“First of all, I just wanted to run,” she whined, resting her head against the window, “I was just trying to get ya to race me - which I won by the way - then I spotted someone in the parking lot, after I won.”

He was mad now. Speaking sternly, “That’s not how that works. Don’t take off when I’m with you. What if I lost you?”

She frowned and played with her hands in her lap, “I was just playing around.. But yeah, I shouldn’t have left you behind..”

He let out a breath and started the car, “I know. It’s partially my fault too. I watched you run before deciding to chase after you.” He started to leave the parking only to stall the engine and sigh loudly in response, “I don’t know why you ask me to drive your car when I do this every time. Take my car next time if you’re going to make me drive back.”

She suppressed a giggle with her fist, “You’re getting better. Ya dropped the clutch too fast. I know I’m not the best at explaining this stuff, but you’ll hear it start to rev. So just listen for that an’ slowly let off the clutch and onto the gas more.”

He put the car back in neutral and tried again, this time making it out of the parking lot. She set the on-board GPS to his apartment, and babysat his left hand as it rested on the gear stick. She’d usually tap it if he needed to shift and hadn’t yet. Generally, he did okay once he got moving though.

Once he was up to speed and not overly concentrated on shifting he spoke again, “You said you saw someone back there.. Did they see you?”

She was silent for a moment, only staring at the red accents on dash, tracing them with a finger. “Maybe.”

He actually raised his voice for once, but it was out of worry, not anger, “Maybe?! What makes you think they did?”

The panic in his voice made y/n lose the grip she had on hiding the panic in her own voice. She spoke rushed, voice cracking, “I was near the end of the woods a-and I looked back to see if you were behind me a-and then shape shifted an’ when I turned to the lot a guy was looking at me.”

He stared quietly out the windshield, slowing to a stop at a traffic light. She watched as he went through the motions to stop and take off again; this time without much trouble. She mumbled a praise as he got back up to speed.

“So someone was looking at you, okay. So they might have seen someone standing in the woods at night. Creepy, but not the end of the world,” he glanced at her quickly then back to the road, “Thanks for warning me to stay back. Someone standing in the woods at night is super weird, but seeing a wolf out here - that might be more alarming.”

She stared at him deep in thought. Sure, maybe that was all it was. But that guy could have watched her shape shift, and she’s almost certain this is the same guy that may have seen her wolf form before, but she didn't mention that to anyone before and nothing came of it. No news of wolves being spotted outside Higashiosaka, or anywhere for that matter, so there wasn’t anything to worry about.

This bothered her more though. She looked out the driver’s side window as a car passed by. Sakusa was barely driving the speed limit, so it didn’t surprise her. It didn’t surprise him when she reached over and swept a stray curl out of his face. He wasn’t a fan of human contact and she wasn't one to overstep that, but on rare occasions she’d do little things like this. He knew these types of actions, the hair and how she keeps playing with her hands, are acted on by nerves. Showing she's more bothered than she’s letting on; so he won't bother her about it.

They soon arrived at Sakusa’s apartment building. It’s one of the taller complexes not far from where she lives, but deeper into downtown. Pulling into the parking garage underneath, he quickly found a spot in the visitors section. Once parked, he immediately shut off the engine and relaxed in his seat. “I don’t know why you don’t get an automatic.”

She giggled at him, “It’s not that bad.”

He growled and she winked in response, resulting in him rolling his eyes. “Be careful driving home, Y/n.”

She hesitated, playing with a piece of her hair - another idle nervous habit. He went to remove the keys from the ignition just to be reminded it's a touch start, and moved on to grab his own keys out of the center console where he dropped them when entering the car earlier. He eyed her as she continued to sit quietly. “You don't want to go home, do you?”

Seeing her rueful smile he opened his door, “Come on. I know you don’t want to be alone.” He climbed out of the driver’s seat and closed the door behind him. Sometimes when her nerves got the best of her, or after watching a horror movie and she was too scared to stay home, she’d whine until he let her stay with him. He waited for her to get out too before leading them into the lobby, “I’m not sharing my bed though.”

Part 3 >>

[idle-writer]

it’s a date

IT’S A DATE!

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: too much cliche none

word count: 1.5k-ish

A/N: This is in response to @the-ss-horniest-book-club ‘s 24Hr. Surprise Drabble Challenge. Theme is Summer Dates. Hope you enjoy reading! :)

Too hot. That is your first thought upon waking up, tossing your blanket away as sweat drench your body, your sleep shirt clinging uncomfortably to your back.

“FRIDAY. Can you please lower the temperature in my room please?” You ask the ever reliable A.I., hoping you’ll be able to get more sleep. It has been less than four hours since you returned from your week long mission (which you manage to finish in four days) and you want nothing more than snuggle in your bed away from the summer heat.

“I apologize, miss. But the cooling system is under maintenance.”

A frustrated groan leaves your lips, knowing you will not be able to go back to sleep, you jump out of bed and decided to raid the fridge for ice cream.

“Ooooh looks like someone woke up in the wrong side of bed.”

You choose to ignore Tony’s teasing and head straight to the fridge. Another frustrated groan when you see no frozen sweet delights.  

“Seriously?!”You shut the door of the fridge, closed your eyes and softly bang your head on the door, the cold metal door oddly comforting.  

Suddenly, instead of the hard cold metal, you feel something soft and warm touch your forehead. Looking up, you are met with the familiar ocean eyes you’ve grown to love. Bucky is standing next to you, his right hand cushioning your head from the metal door, his brows furrowed in concern. “You’re gonn’ hurt yourself, doll.”

You’re not sure if it’s still the summer heat or the fact that Bucky Barnes is standing next to you in very close proximity with his skin touching yours and his stupidly cute way of saying doll, but the warmth gets worse and you struggle to compose yourself. Instead of giving him an answer, you just dumbly stare at him, noticing a single drop of sweat that slowly trailed the side of his face down to his chin. Your eyes flicker quickly to his parted pink lips, and you unconsciously lick your own.

“Doll?”

“S-sorry, this heat is making me crazy, Bucky.” You turn away from him to hide the blush that is starting to creep up your face, grabbing the collar of your shirt to quickly fan yourself. “And there’s no ice cream.”

Bucky gulp, catching a glimpse of your covered chest through your over-sized sleep shirt. Turning his eyes away when he sees you looking at him, and you can’t help but notice the faint blush on his cheeks. “I-“

Whatever it is Bucky was going to say is cut off by someone calling both your names. Sam approaches the both of you, a smirk on his face. “I swear to god, you two are always in your own little world when you’re together. Tony was just saying we can all go use his rooftop pool. As apology for the ‘accomodation difficulties’. So... Pool party! You guys coming?”

“NO!”

Your answer is so abrupt, even Bucky was caught off guard, a surprised look on his face. Sam, on the other hand, is squinting his eyes at you as if he’s trying to read your mind.  

You are not comfortable spending time half-naked. You should be used to it but you’re not, especially since you spend your time with gods both literally and figuratively of good physiques. You clear your throat, an attempt to cut the awkward silence, “I mean. I’m not coming. But Buck, you can go if you want.”

Bucky slightly shook his head, his stare not leaving you, “I’m not really in the mood.”

“Okaaaaay, your loss. If you change your minds,” Sam pointed up with his thumb, “we’ll be there.”  

He waved goodbye to the both of you (to you mostly), before disappearing behind the door.

You must have looked gloomy even after Sam left because Bucky asked you what’s wrong, in which you answered, “There’s no ice cream in the fridge.”

A brief silence followed by a hearty chuckle he seldom use but you oh-so-love to hear. He is grinning at you, “Then let’s go get some, doll. Meet me at the lobby in 10?”

You can’t help but return his smile, “It’s a date!”

He took you to an ice cream parlor he and Steve used to go to when they were kids. Even he was surprised when he found out a few days ago that the place is still operating.

After you got your orders, you both decide not to stay and chose to visit the park instead, sitting under the shade of a big oak tree. There aren’t a lot of people around. They’re probably staying indoors away from the heat, you thought.  

“You got a little something here,” Bucky leans forward, thumb brushing the corner of your lip before licking the cream off his thumb as if it’s the most natural thing to do.

Bucky’s eyes widen just as yours are upon realizing what he has done. He misinterpreted your shock, kicking himself for making you feel uncomfortable. He is about to apologize when at the exact same moment your soft laughter filled his ears. Something you usually do but he still loves to hear.  

“Thank you, Bucky,” You grin at him, “That’s some romantic comedy move you got there.”

He shakes his head at your silly comment, settling his gaze at random things around the area, your smile focused on him too much for his old man’s heart to bear.  

“But seriously, Bucky. Thank you.”

He chance a glance at you in the corner of his eye as you stare at your fingers fiddling absentmindedly on your lap. “You didn’t have to. But thank you for accompanying me. I’m sure it’s probably more fun to spend time with the others in Tony’s rooftop pool. I mean. It’s Stark’s rooftop pool-”

“Stop.”

And immediately, you stop.  

“Did you want to go?”

Afraid your voice will crack, you answer him with a silent nod.  

“Then why did you...” He cut himself off, pausing for awhile, “Can I tell you why I didn’t want to go?”

“You know of my past, right? I have scars,” He try to smile but there’s so much bitterness in it, you almost feel your eyes sting. “They’re not pretty, doll.”

The silence that followed made it seem as if you can see the painful memories come flooding back inside his mind. Your heart aching for the pain he felt before and the pain his memories are causing him. Showing his scars means showing his weakness and pain.  

Gathering your courage, you’ve decided to come clean and make him feel he’s not alone.  

“Can I also tell you why I didn’t want to go? I… I’m not really as built and beautiful as you guys,” you start, a sigh escaping you. “Now that I say it out loud it sounds stupid. I’m sure our friends will not judge me. And compared to your reas-“

“This is not a competition, sweetheart,” he gently chided. 

He softly brush the stray hair away from his face, hoping you’ll look him in the eye, which you did almost instantly when you felt his fingertips touch your face. “And besides, everything about you is beautiful, doll.”  

------

It is already dark when Bucky and you returned from your ice cream date escapade. While you were walking towards your own rooms, Bucky asked if you still want to go to Stark’s pool. When you said yes, he smiled and said to meet up in 10. Before he can disappear from his room, he stopped by the door and grinned at you, mirroring your actions from earlier, “It’s a date.”

And that is how you end up here. Maybe love heat can really make you do crazy things. You clutch the towel at your chest, and with a shaky breath, you walk out of the changing room. No one is around except the lone figure on the far edge of the pool. Letting the towel fall and pool over your feet, you walk closer. 

 Overseeing the city lights, Bucky’s back is turned to you. Even with only the moon illuminating the night, you can see the scars running through his back and his left shoulder where they are more prominent. Scars he sees as weakness, but you see them as strength. A testimony of his courage.  

He turn his head slightly to the side, making you catch a glimpse of his profile, you can barely make out a smug grin on his lips. “Can I turn around now, doll?”

You yelp in surprise and immediately jump in the pool, an attempt to hide your body last minute. You slowly swim towards him, sinking as you approach until only your nose up are visible. Bucky chuckles at your antics and as you reach his side, your eyes widen at the view. You are in awe at the sight of the different colored city lights as they blend perfectly with the night sky and the constellations above.  

You are unaware that you’ve stood up, exposing your chest up to the chill air and shivered. Bucky put his arms around you, his warm chest pressing at your back. You look up at him, a fond smile on your face, “Bucky, it’s beautiful.”

And as he looks down at you, with your eyes twinkling like the constellations above, he knows. What he’s looking at is beautiful.  

[pabosontheloose]

Words (Sehun)

----------------------------

Today was another day that seemed to keep dragging on no matter how much I tried to keep myself occupied. It was lonely in this apartment when he wasn’t here. It would’ve been deafeningly silent had I not put on some music to fill the space. 

It was on these days when I wished that he was here so we can do nothing together instead of just me being on our couch, aimlessly surfing through the TV channels and wondering if he’s eaten yet. I worked in the mornings, from 5am to 1pm at a 24hr coffee shop. It had an above average pay which I was glad with. But then the afternoon comes and I find myself needing something to occupy the rest of the day with.

With this recent album coming up, I knew he wouldn’t be able to be home a lot, and I didn’t mind at all. I understood what his job required of him and I tried my best to support him through it; it was his actions that had me wondering if he really noticed my efforts or not. 

I had cooked dinner for two, and ended up eating by myself, occasionally looking over to my phone when it lights up in hopes that it was a message from him. But it wasn’t. It never is anymore these days. The rest of the food was wrapped up and placed in the microwave so he has easy access when he came back.

I was dozing off at around 1 in the morning when the door opened. There was the sound of it closing after he had stepped in. His coat rustled as he placed it on the hook behind the door. As he walked further into the house, I heard his footsteps stop before a sigh left his mouth. 

“Why are you still on the couch? There is a bedroom for a reason.” he shook my leg to snap me out of my drowsiness. I didn’t get to answer before he was making his way to the kitchen. A tiny beep came from the microwave before I heard him find the eating utensils. Slowly, I sat up and let out a yawn. My hands reached to move the small blanket from my body before standing up and stretching away the sleepiness. As soon as I reached the kitchen entrance, the microwave let out five beeps and Sehun went over to take out his dinner before sitting down at the table. I sat on the seat next to him and rested my head on the hand that was propped up by my elbow. I silently watched him cut into his food and bring it to his mouth.

“This is over seasoned.” was all he said, slowly chewing as if it was hard for him to swallow.

“Really? I thought it was fine when I tried it.” my eyes looked down at the plate in front of him. His eyes met mine for the first time since he set foot into the house.

“Well, clearly, you were wrong. This is overwhelming my nose. Would you mind if I made ramen instead?” he slightly pushed the plate further away from him. I could feel his words pinch at my heart. I stared at the plate as he got up to go turn on the stove and dig through the drawers to find the packets of ramen.

“But I made this especially for you...you’re just going to leave it here?” I asked his moving figure that was going back and forth in the kitchen. 

“Well, I figured you’d finish it since you thought it was fine.” he shrugged, his voice low and held a hint of irritation. “Listen, I had a long day alright? Can we please not get into something that doesn’t have to happen in the first place?” 

“Okay…” I mumbled before getting up and silently making my way towards our bedroom. 

This was just one in a long line of things that I should’ve talked to him about. But there was always something that came up or it was just waved off. Next time I guess..

It was two days after that night. I had let it go for the most part when his half-assed apology came the next day but it was still picking at me. I didn’t want to make him feel guilty, but I can’t just let go of something that has been building up inside of me for so long. Keeping that aside, he told me he was going to be at a practice stage for the next three days and won’t be able to come home, so I decided to give him a visit at the dorm. I hadn’t seen the guys in a while too, so why not bring everyone something. 

A couple of banana milk boxes were tossed into my bag along with chocolate bars and then I was off towards their building.

“Ahhh!! (Y/n)!!” Baekhyun’s cheery voice rang out through the security com before the doors were unlocked. I let myself in and looked around. I hadn’t gotten a few steps in before thudding footsteps were heard coming towards me. Baekhyun threw his arms around me in a tight hug before letting go and we walked further into the place. 

“Hey, I didn’t think many of you would be here since promotions are happening.” I grinned seeing the boys spread out all over the living room. Minseok lifted his hand indicating a welcoming high five which I gladly gave. 

“Yeah, we have about an hour before we gotta go. You looking for Sehun?” Junmyeon nodded, emerging from their kitchen. 

“He’s just in the bathroom. What’s in the bag?” Baekhyun gave a cheeky grin, waving off my questioning glance towards the bathroom, as he plopped himself down onto the arm rest besides me. 

“Oh, I thought you guys would like some refreshments.” I stated before opening the said bag. Head turned at the mention of food and I gave each of them their drinks and snacks. A round of thanks erupted before they dug in.

“What are you doing here?” my boyfriend’s voice suddenly asked as he entered the living room. I smiled before standing up to approach him.

“Hi! I just thought I’d pay you and everyone a visit since you won’t be home for the next three days.” His eyebrows furrowed before his hand came up to scratch at the end of his eyebrow.

“You should have called. Coming here was a hassle since we have to leave in a little bit.” he quickly remarked. My cheeks tinted pink at the tone of his voice. 

“Well, it’s just you never answer my calls so I thought-”

“Well maybe there’s a reason I never answer your calls!” he snapped, making me back up a little bit in shock. My eyes widened slightly as I watched him start to fume.

“What? What do you mean?” I quietly let out. Not wanting the members to hear me or even be witnessing this right now.

“Don’t you ever think that maybe sometimes you can be a bit overbearing?” he questioned. I blinked at him and felt my cheeks turn red in embarrassment. 

“Sehun.” a word of warning came from Junmyeon. No one else said a word. Although I wanted to speak, my throat ran dry. I just stood, staring at him, waiting for him to apologize or take back what he said; but his eyebrows stay furrowed and lips stayed a frown. When I didn’t say anything, he ignored his members' looks and continued, “I mean you are constantly around me, all the time. It’s always “have you eaten?” or “have you rested enough?”, come ON. I’m not a child, there is no need for you to be bugging me 24/7.” 

“Oh Sehun!” this time, everyone was up. Those who rarely got angry were now suddenly raising their voice. Having been with Sehun for several years, I also knew a lot about the members. Sure, when Junmyeon raises his voice, everyone is cautious. But when it’s Minseok who raised his voice, everyone instantly shut up. I even noticed Sehun take a slight step back in surprise. I knew this was about to derail, and instantly held out my hands in hopes of getting everyone to settle down.

No one spoke a word. I stared up at Sehun before sighing.

“Fine. Enjoy your meal. See you guys.” I mumbled and turned around quickly. My vision blurred and my lids blinked to keep back the inevitable tears that will eventually come running down. I made my way towards the door, not wanting to stop for any of them who were calling out to me. My hands carefully closed the door before I made it all the way down towards the lobby and my car. 

I wanted to fight back, and tell him off for his behavior, but I lost my energy. It was as if his words deflated everything that I wanted to discuss with him about and he left me there. I sat in my car for a little, just letting every tear go. 

Buzz buzz...buzz buzz...buzz buz-

“Yeah, Baekhyun?” 

“Tell me you aren’t driving.”

“No, I’m still here. I just need to calm down first before I leave.” I sniffled, wiping my tears as if someone were watching me. A sigh of relief was heard through the line before he started talking again.

“Good, I’m coming down.” and before I could even object, the line cut off. I sat there, waiting for his figure to show up and let him into the passenger seat. When he got in, we were silent for a good minute.

“Listen, that brat doesn’t mean it, you know that right?” he asked. I looked at him.

“I know, but it still hurts.” 

“Yeah, I know it does. And trust me, he’s getting an earful up there right now. Damn, I can’t even imagine what Kyungsoo and the others will do when they find out after the stage.” he chuckled, his words contradicted his facial expression because I knew that that was exactly what he was doing.

“How are they going to find out?”

“Oh, because I’m gonna tell them.” he grinned as-a-matter-of-factly, his cheerful tone slightly enlightening my mood. 

“Thanks Baek.” 

“No problem, and hey, you should come by tonight for the show. If you’re too angry to go because of him, go for us.” he patted my shoulder. I looked down at my hands and nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll see you all tonight.” he grinned. His hand came up to ruffle my hair before he said his goodbye and went back upstairs.

Several hours later, I found myself standing in front of their stadium. The lights were dim and Aeris were waving their lightsticks around in anticipation for their boys. I flipped the on switch of mine and held it up as well. Within seconds the lights of the stage came on and the performance proceeded.

The fanchant shook the roof, and the boys were amazing as they always were. As they were performing, I caught eyes with Sehun. I noticed them widening a little in surprise but he continued performing. And every once in a while, I’d meet them again.

I sighed to myself, hating the fact that I can’t even stay mad at him even after what he said. Here I was, proudly and happily watching him dancing on that stage. God I love him a lot, huh. 

When the performance came to an end, their fans screamed louder than they already were. The boys took a bow, taking the time to thank the audience and saying goodbye before starting to move backstage. I decided not to go backstage since they might be rushed somewhere by the staff, so I started to make my way out of the venue and back home for the night.

-------

When I woke up the next morning, something felt off. The sun barely shone as I prepared to get ready for work. I made a move to get out of bed but found arms wrapped around my waist, keeping me in place. He released a groan in protest when I tried to move again.

 How long has it been since we’ve slept like this? His hold got tighter as I wrapped an arm around his own.

“Sehun, I need to go take out the trash before the truck drives by. And I have work in 30 minutes.” I shook his arm but he still refused to let go. Instead, he gently moved to turn me around to face him before pulling me closer once again.

“You don’t have to. I took it out last night before I went to bed. And I also used your phone to ask your coworker if she can cover your shift today since you’re seriously sick.” through the dim light in the room I could see the sleepy smirk on his face. My eyebrow raised as I watched him. I could see the playful glint in his drowsy eyes.

“Seriously sick? But I feel fi-” his finger came to touch my lips, making me pause my words. “Yeah you are. That’s why we’re staying home together today. So that I can be with you, aaaallllll day long. And since you don’t have work tomorrow, we’ll get to be together even longer.” 

“Sehun, what’s going on?” I asked him as he threw his right leg over my body, effectively keeping me in his hold. His warm, secure, embrace made me yawn.

“Nothing’s going on, babe. I’m just trying to make up to my beautiful, deserving girlfriend for my behavior the past few weeks. To let her know how sorry I am for making her feel so horrible.” he planted a kiss onto my forehead, trailing down to place another one on the tip of my nose and ending up at my lips.

“Hun, you don’t have to do that. Your schedule is so packed already, what are the members gonna say?” I whispered, before placing my head on his chest, my arms slowly coming up to wrap around his waist. He laughed before reaching back to open his phone and show me the messages he received from the boys. Most were threats which I knew were empty because they would never do that to their precious maknae. I giggled while reading Chanyeol’s messages about; ‘What it takes to keep a woman, dummy.’. What made my full out laugh was Kyungsoo’s short and simple message; ‘Do you want to die?’

“Yes I do. The members gave me an ass whooping after the show yesterday before I could even tell them I planned to be with you for the next two days. Thank you for coming to watch us last night…I was hoping you’d come backstage but I understand why you didn’t.” he gave my lips a kiss once more.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get longer than two days. I asked for a week but my manager said no and left me many...many..voicemails.”  I giggled at him before shaking my head.

“Two days is great, Sehun.”

“Good. Now, let’s make the most of it by sleeping till noon.” he gave me another kiss before we were both dozing off once again.

------------------------------------

I have no words :)

MASTERLIST

[imaconstantmess]

Until

Until

First attempt at writing anything, criticism is something that is welcome and much needed so please tell me if there was anything you didn’t like.

Warnings: swearing, abuse(ex), angst with an ok ending

Steve x Gender Neutral! Reader

Steve’s mind has been occupied for the past few weeks, and it’s got something to do with the recruit he’s been assigned to train.

part 2 here

Cold.

Empty.

Bright.

“Damn it.” Empty shelves stared at him, save for some sauces that he never used, and some out of date milk in the door. Since when could he not act like an adult and remember to go food shopping every once in a while? He almost slammed the fridge door in frustration, but then he remembered that the fridge wasn’t made to be shut in anger by a super soldier who could keep a helicopter grounded.

The apartment was nice, clean, and more modern than Steve would have chosen. He didn’t want to admit it but he couldn’t help but like the designs Stark kitted him out with; He’d actually said thank you for the record player to both the males’ surprise. With a heavy sigh Steve looked for his keys while shrugging on the leather jacket that he liked to wear. He hadn’t bothered to change clothes since yesterday, since he’d been stuck with debriefing a late night mission to some agents, one of which liked to argue. He doesn’t know where they found him but he suspected he wouldn’t be working on the field for much longer.

Steve decided to just bike it to the nearest fast food place, since he just didn’t have the effort to buy and cook his own meal tonight. Steve wouldn’t usually ditch a healthy meal (a habit left over from when he needed all the strength he could get), but the frustration and sleep deprivation he’s been feeling lately has him doing strange things. He pulled up to the closest diner that would be open, the brightness of the inside straining his eyes a little. It was stereotypical in design, with the black and white tiled floors and old, faded red leather booths. Not all the neon lights worked, but it was clean and had pretty good food from what Steve remembered. He started looking at the menu until he heard the one sound he didn’t expect to hear.

Your voice.

——————————————————

Training was tough. You’d passed the intelligence tests, the demanding physical examination, and had shown excellence in taking orders and adapting to the situation at hand, singling you out from the other recruits in your regiment. That’s why they chose you, as an experimental new initiative that Nick Fury had come up with. It was meant to be a sort of civilian type of avengers, ones with no powers that could blend in more easily with a crowd. An American version of elite spies under shield authority and direction. And you were chosen.

Each avenger with hand to hand combat training got a recruit. Tony and Bruce didn’t have one because tony relies on his mind and if Bruce fights, the other guy makes an appearance. You did an intricate personality test, asking questions as simple as ‘what’s your favourite colour and why?’ To ‘what do you think the most important global issue is at this time?’ and from those results you were paired with the avenger that you were most compatible with, to help ease the training process and create an almost student/mentor situation. You got Captain America.

Surprisingly, the first session you two had together didn’t involve training. It was almost an interview between the two of you, but a lot more casual. Steve text you to meet him an old diner in New York, one that you happened to frequent often. You already ordered your drink when you sat down in a booth, skimming over the menu.

“F/n l/n?”You looked up and found a nice pair of baby blues looking at you, and although you knew he was attractive from the tv, real life was a whole other experience. If you weren’t taken...

Before you could gawk, you put on a friendly smile and answered “Thats me. I’m guessing you must be Steve Rogers”

And that was the first time you met.

——————————————————-

It was late. You’d just got home after a briefing for a mission which lasted longer than it should have. Sam’s recruit, agent Andrew Garrison, had a mouth which led to some sarcastic remarks towards Steve which were in your opinion, uncalled for. When Steve put him in his place it made you feel some type of way, but pushed those feelings aside. You were in a relationship that was coming to almost a year long. When you got home to your cosy apartment you kicked off your training boots, and was about to take off your shield assigned jacket when you heard a cough from the couch.

You went to look in the fridge for something quick to eat, but settled for a bottle of orange juice “Hey, sorry I kept you waiting, the briefing went on longer than it should have. Garrison decided to sass Steve, so after Steve basically put him in his place Fury came in and gave a long ass speech on how we have to show the same respect to other mentors that we show our own” you plopped down next to your boyfriend on the couch but your smile faded when you saw the look on his face. “Tyler? What’s wrong? You alright?” Concern laced your voice as you reached out to tough his face. You were shocked when he slapped your hand away.

“What’s wrong? I can’t believe you’re even asking me that...” he got up and started running his hands through his dark hair. “You’re never here anymore. You’re always training... if thats even what you’re doing” his dark eyes look different, almost like you’re looking at at stranger. While you’re too shocked to reply, he raises his voice in an almost shout. “You’re always out! Shield can’t be training you that much. How can I trust you? You’re around other men all the time!” He spat, his face almost in a snarl.

“Are you kidding me? I’m training under the avengers, not sleeping with other men! You’ve seen Steve- CAPTAIN AMERICA- drop me off! How could you think I was lying?” Your voice was strong but there was a sting in your eyes.

“Then how come Ive been seeing disgusting purple marks on your neck!?”

“I GOT JABBED IN THE FUCKING THROAT-“

“LIAR!” The argument went on for about 15 minutes, you trying to prove your innocence while Tyler just kept making more and more ridiculous accusations. You’d had arguments before, but never this bad. You turned, about to walk to your shared room to try and avoid the conflict- until a loud sound was heard on your right. He’d thrown the damn pot fruit bowl at your head. You whipped round, a look of shock on both your faces, as if he couldn’t believe he’d done it either. This was the turning point for you, things had never been physical in your relationships and they never would be. The shock on your face turned to anger as you fought back the urge to restrain him, like Steve had taught you. You grabbed your keys, and put your jacket back on.

“We’re done. Try to attack me again and i will show you just how much training I’ve done” your face looked terrifying, but under the mask you were heartbroken. You’d thought he was the one you were going to spend your life with. You were wrong. Obviously. You stormed out of the apartment, too consumed by anger to realise you had nowhere to go. You had limited cash on you, and your closest relatives were a state away. You couldn’t ask your friends to come pick you up, it was too late. After walking for almost an hour, you came across an old diner you lived going to. You told Steve about this place a few months ago, and both of you went after a particularly hard day of training. Plus it was literally open 24hrs, so you could stay until it was early enough to catch Steve or Sam on a run. You sat down at an empty booth in the corner, but since the diner was empty you could see and hear everything. You ordered a simple cheeseburger and a coke, not wanting to spend much money. You just sit and wait until you hear the phone ring. It was Tyler.

“Babe? Where are you? I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have done that it was all my fault-“

“You could have killed me. And I completely agree, it was your fault.

Don’t call me again. I don’t know when Ill be picking my stuff up. Bye”

“Y/N don’t do this, I love you-“

“If you loved me you wouldn’t have thrown a bowl heavier than a brick at my head.”

You heard the door open, but you were just angrily staring at the table, not bothering to see who came in. You were biting your knuckle to stop yourself from crying, pent up emotions wanting to break free. You tried to keep from crying, growing silent as you evened your breathing.

“Why are you doing this?! I thought you loved me! Maybe I did aim it at your head so what!?” Your heart sank. He’d meant to hurt you. Knock you out, maybe even kill you. “You deserved it for turning away from me. Why can’t you just come back? You need me. Give me one valid reason why I should stop calling you”

“You tried to fucking kill me”

_________________________________________

“You tried to fucking kill me”

Steve heard your voice and whipped round. He hadn’t noticed you in the corner when he came in, but the words you just spoke sent a small shiver of fear down his spine. What had happened? We’re you ok? You were still in your shield assigned training outfit, and there didn’t look to be any blood on you. He quickly walked towards you and saw you angrily slam your phone down, an unreadable expression on your face.

“Y/N? Everything alright?” It unnerved him to see you like this, he’d never seen you sad, or even angry before. Irritated at losing hand to hand combat? Sure. But he’d never seen you like this... so open... so...vulnerable.

You blinked back tears as you slowly rose your head up to look at him. He’d taken a seat across from you, arms on the table and the most concerned look you’d ever seen him with. Then again, after taking a quick glance at your reflection in the mirror, you did look a mess. Hair messy from a days training, red eyes and a blotchy face from almost crying. You decided it was not a good look on you.

“I’m-“ you were about to say fine, but you weren’t. You needed someone to talk to, and although it might be considered unprofessional, Steve was worried and you knew he wouldn’t drop it. He’s too stubborn. “Actually, I’m not fine. My personal life has just been obliterated.”

You let out a dry laugh to try and hide the hurt.

“Y/N, what happened. Tell me, please.” The way he had said please, with so much emotion almost made your heart burst. And with those eyes, full of concern and... something, staring directly at you you found it hard to not tell him everything. You looked and the table when you started explaining, almost ashamed of what happened.

“You remember my boy- well EX boyfriend, Tyler? He tried to maim or kill me. Haven’t figured out which he meant to do yet.” You hoped a bit of sarcasm would make the words you just spoke seem less... heavy to the super soldier. However when you glanced up, the look on the super soldiers face was pure anger. Before Steve could say anything, you carried on “ he didn’t actually touch me, but he tried to. I walked out before anything else could happen.”

“What do you mean tried to?” His voice was eerily calm, but soft. It completely betrayed his stiff posture and furrowed brows. You’d never seen him like this, but you weren’t scared. Somehow it was comforting.

“Well you know that big, heavy ornate fruit bowl that my grandma made me?”

“The one shaped like a peacock? Feathers for the bowl?” You nodded.

“He threw it. At my head. I was walking away and it hit the wall next to me.” You explained quickly, seeing him lean back and nostrils flare slightly. He was directing his angry gaze at anywhere but you, you weren’t the reason for his anger.

“He could have killed you. A blow to the back of your head from and object like that- jesus it could’ve cracked your skull open. You could-“ he swallowed, calming himself before finishing his sentence. “ you could be dead right now. Or unconscious, or with a cracked open skull...” as he trailed off he realised how bad the situation could have been. You could’ve been hurt. Not by some trigger happy mafia member, not by a highly trained hydra assassin. Hell, not even in training. When he caught your throat in training a few days ago he thought you were going to hate him forever, and he hated himself for hurting you. Even after you caught your breath and smiled, no laughed at him for fretting, he still hated himself for putting you through unnecessary pain. The fact that you were hurt in your home, in the one place you were supposed to be safe infuriated him. He had never wanted to kill, not really, but the anger and secondhand fear for your safety could have been the thing that made him do it. He looked at you now, seeing past the obvious and noticing the circles under your eyes and the way your body just seemed exhausted, physically and emotionally. Before he could speak, you decided to change the subject. Until tomorrow at least.

“Hey you getting any food? I can practically hear your stomach from here.” You said with a smile. Steve relaxed his posture a little and realised he hadn’t ordered in his haste to check on you. As he turned around to once again look at the menu, to cheeseburgers and cokes were laid out infront of you both by a middle aged woman, who had a young motherly look to her.

“I know you didn’t order anything, but the diners quiet and I couldn’t help overhearing a few things. I added cheesy fries, no extra cost.” The woman turned to you, wiping her hand on her black apron in a worried manner. “I hope you’re ok sweetheart. If you want, I can sneak you another drink, on the house. Just ask.” She gave you a kind smile as you thanked her and tried to return it, completely forgetting to ask Steve if he was ok with the meal. It reminded you why you joined sheiks in the first place, to protect people like her.

You and Steve started eating, and for a few minutes there was nothing but comfortable silence. Until Steve had a thought. After taking a few sips of his drink, he broke the silence.

“Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?” He was not under any circumstance letting you go home to that psycho.

“Actually, I was just going to chill here for a few hours and hopefully catch you or Sam on a run...” now that you’d said it out loud, it sounded kind of stupid.

Instead of being angry, Steve just looked sad as he asked “why didn’t you call someone? You could’ve called.. me.” He almost sounded disappointed. He was, he would go pick you up from Japan if you’d asked him. He thought you knew that. “I would’ve picked you up..” he picked up a fry to try and seem more casual about what he’d said, about what he’d implied.

“Honestly, after I stormed out I was angry- walking around New York for an hour” you stopped to take a sip of your drink and have some fries. “It’s late, tower is on lockdown in early hours. And.. everyone was so tired after today. It’s not fair on them if I wake them up.” You took a bite of your burger and swallowed quickly. “ And you... you’ve been so stressed lately and after that stunt Garrison pulled I thought you deserved some sleep” you finished your sentence with a light shrug. You took another bite of your burger and looked at Steve, who couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. How dare you think you’re less important than a few hours sleep.

“You can stay at my place if you’d like, Ive got a spare room... it has an en suite.” As Steve was nearing the end of his sentence he thought he sounded stupid. He’d daydreamed once or twice about having you live with him, sharing a bed... but he never thought that this would be the way it was going to happen. He’d kept his distance because you were in a relationship, never going over the platonic boundary with you.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to be a burden-“

“You’re never a burden.” He said that a bit too quickly for his liking.

“Well... ok, sure, thank you. I don’t really have any spare clothes so I might be a mess in the morning...” you laughed slightly and Steve’s eyes lit up. That’s better.

With a slight blush, Steve said “if you want, Ive got some spare clothes you could sleep in. You can wash your clothes at my apartment if you’d like.”

The gesture was oddly intimate, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to refuse. You both finished your meals, which Steve refuses to let you pay for since “you’ve been through a lot tonight. I’m paying”

You said your goodbyes to the waitress and headed outside. You were trying to hide a smile.

“What’s got you smiling?” Steve asked as he handed you a helmet.

“Not going to lie, I’ve always wanted to ride your...” you paused, making sure his bike was an old Harley. But Steve couldn’t stop himself from finishing that sentence in his head. “Harley. It’s so much cooler than the bikes in Starks garage. Hey, why don’t you have a helmet?”

“I don’t live too far, and I’m more likely to survive than you. And besides, we’re not going to crash.” He said as he swung his leg over the bike. He gestured for you to get on and after fastening the straps on the helmet, you got on behind him. You hesitated before putting your arms around his waist, but then just wrapped yourself around him. The feeling of his strong back pressed against you sent a pleasant wave through you, and Steve was just glad you couldn’t see the shy smile on his face.

“Ready?” He asked as he kicked the engine into life.

“Mmm” you said as Steve moved forward, leaving you clinging to him.

You couldn’t wait to go to sleep, even if it wasn’t in your bed.

Steve was just happy you were safe now. He’d never once offered his spare room to anyone except Bucky, he’d never trusted or cared about anyone enough.

Until you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: hope you liked it, it’s my first ever attempt at writing a fic so opinions and criticism are welcome :) I’ll do a part 2 if this gets a note, new to tumblr so I’m not sure if anyone will read it.

[hope-for-olicity]

Airplanes, Coffee and Deadlines 2/?

Felicity begins working at a national newspaper where she has always dreamed of working. On her first day, she meets a very interesting photojournalist. The two will eventually work together but sparks fly immediately. Also available on AO3.

Felicity spent her weekend organizing the new condo she was renting but truthfully she was excited to get back to work. She felt like she was doing the right thing. As she headed back to the newsroom on Monday with a smile on her face, she couldn’t lie to herself, she was looking forward to seeing Oliver.

She picked up two coffees on the way in. She wanted to thank him for being so welcoming. It’s what anyone would do, she told herself.

As Felicity approached Oliver’s desk she was sad to see it empty, with the monitor turned off. Maybe he just wasn’t in yet. She placed a coffee on his desk before heading to her own cubicle.

Felicity took a seat, booted up her laptop while listening for Oliver’s arrival. There was a quiet hum in the always active newsroom. The noise would steadily increase throughout the day as people worked gathering the news of the day. Felicity liked being here early. She began reading through emails and scanning news sites before her 9 am assignment meeting.

She had just finished checking Twitter when she heard a noise. She popped to see if Oliver was at his desk, she hoped his coffee wouldn’t be too cold. But no Oliver, just other staff arriving. Felicity locked her computer away, grabbed her phone and headed to her nine o’clock. She really hoped Oliver wasn’t sick.

~~~~~

The meeting focused on local news first, assignments were handed out in the major cities. Some of the stories were in the cities themselves, others involved travel to areas nearby. Felicity was assigned to a story in her city. She would be covering the City Hall Committee meeting on transit expansion. She began thinking of possible angles as they began to focus on international news.

Felicity followed the news over the weekend she heard about the suicide bombings in Afghanistan. She had breathed a sigh of relief knowing that John Diggle, whom she had just met, was home safe and sound.

“Queen flew out after the first bomb. He’s staying until things settle.”

What?! Oliver was in Afghanistan? Felicity hoped she kept her shock off her face. When she took a moment to think about it, of course, it made sense to send him to Afghanistan. He’d worked there off and on for years. Felicity bit her bottom lip. She just hoped he was safe.

The rest of the meeting went by in a blur. She was glad she was given her assignment before she heard about Oliver.

As Felicity walked back to her desk, she watched pictures of the debris from the Kandahar bombings play across the TV screens. Yes, she cared, felt bad for the people when she saw this on the news before but now, now it felt she had skin in the game. She searched the faces of those around the debris for Oliver but he was not there.

“Hey, he’s fine. He just texted me.”

Felicity jumped. She had not heard John come up behind her.

“Oh, good. That’s good to hear. I mean, of course, he’s fine. It’s not like it’s his first trip to Afghanistan.” Felicity hoped she came off as cool, calm and collected.

“You’re right, Oliver has been there. He knows the area and he’s not going to do anything stupid but that doesn’t make it any less dangerous. He’s pretty confident there will be more bombs. I’m not saying this to scare you, Felicity. I just want you to know that it’s smart to be concerned. Oliver’s a smart guy. I’ll let you know if I hear anything more.” John nodded before leaving Felicity in front of a bank of televisions.

Felicity took one last look at the news before heading back to start working on her story for the day.

~~~~~

Every day she came in hoping to see Oliver back at his desk. She heard updates at the assignment meetings and from John but nothing concrete. Felicity really didn’t understand why she cared so much. She’d only the met the guy once.

She thought about sending him an email but decided it would be too weird. She would just focus on her job and send positive thoughts his way.

~~~~~

Oliver had been in Afghanistan for three weeks, he was ready to go home. The suicide bombings had slowed, though he knew they were part of life here. It was disheartening as he knew soldiers who had fought and died hoping to bring peace to this part of the world.

While he’d photographed debris from many bombings, too many, in the past it still left him shaken. He hoped that would never change. After his first stint in Afghanistan, he began seeing the newspapers therapist, Dr. Caitlin Snow. She taught him some tools to help process the horrible events he witnessed.  But they weren’t as effective as her therapy sessions. He knew he’d always have to live with the trauma he witnessed but thanks to Dr Snow, he knew he would be better once he processed fully what he had seen.

One of Oliver’s tactics was to remember the good in the world. In these situations, it was easy to only see the horror and grief. When he tried to focus on the good for some reason, his mind always went right to Felicity Smoak. He’d only met the new reporter once but there was just something about her. He hoped she was settling in okay.

Oliver’s phone buzzed. He smiled when he looked down to see a message from John.

John: Hey man, how you holding up?

Oliver: I’m okay, be a whole lot better once I get home

John: That happening soon?

Oliver: Hope so, if things stay clear for the next 24hrs

John: Good. You are missed.

Oliver: Wow. This fatherhood thing is really going to your head ;)

John: Not by me. Felicity asked

Oliver could not help but smile. So she noticed he was gone. He thought about sending her a message but they just met. Plus, he knew they’d say where he was in the assignment meetings.

Oliver: How’s she doing?

John: Impressed the hell out of Lance

Oliver: Not surprised

Oliver: She’s a journalist’s journalist

Oliver: In it to tell the story, knows the importance

John: Wow. How much time did you spend with her?

Oliver: Very funny.

Oliver: Talk to her, you’ll see

Oliver: She’s one of us

John: High praise, my friend

John: Stay safe

Oliver: Talk soon

Oliver decided to head out talk to some of is informants. His nightmares were getting worse he knew he needed to head home to deal with the trauma he witnessed. Hopefully, his informants could tell him the rumblings and if it would soon be possible to go home without leaving the story untold.

~~~~~

Felicity had just hit send on her story of the day when she heard a tap on cubicle looked up to see John Diggle. “Hey you,” she smiled then remembered, Oliver. “Any news?”

John didn’t even ask about what. “Oliver said he’d be home as soon as possible. Doesn’t enjoy the heat as much with me.” John chuckled. “I stopped by to see if you were free for dinner tomorrow night. Lyla and I are hosting one last dinner party. I’ll be doing the cooking, the cleaning and all but Lyla will be doing the talking. It would be nice if you could come.”

“Wow. Thank you for thinking of me. Yes, yes, definitely. “ Felicity nodded. She was invited to dinner with foreign correspondents, she bet they had stories.

“Great. I’ll send you our address, so you can come over after you file tomorrow. No worries, if you are running late. We will all understand.” John smiled knowingly.

~~~~~

“So you’ve met Deadline?” Lyla asked with a smile on her face.

“Yes! Oh, he’s so wonderful.  I’ve always wanted a dog and Quentin,” Felicity looked across the table at her editor, “may have inspired me to get one.”

“I’ve always wanted a dog too but with Sara and another baby on the way, John rolls his eyes. Maybe you could share your’s?” Lyla gave her a conspiratorial wink.

“Maybe.” Felicity smiled. She felt so fortunate to have been invited to this dinner. She looked around the room where people from the newspaper were socializing. She couldn’t lie, she wished Oliver were here.

Felicity felt Lyla touch her hand.

“He’ll be back soon, Felicity.”

“I guess, you think I’m silly. I just met the guy. I just want him to be safe. I get why he’s in Afghanistan and how important his photos are in making the world aware. I just….” Felicity trailed off.

“Want him to be safe.” Lyla finished Felicity’s sentence. “I get that. More than anyone. I send our journalists all over the world to cover stories. Important stories that need to be covered. I know it’s important that they go, I know they want to be there to cover the story but it never stops me being concerned for their safety. I’m comforted in knowing that they are concerned for their own safety and I know they are taking all the necessary precautions. It gets easier the more times they go away and come back safely. Is this the first time you know someone who is in a dangerous area?”

Felicity nodded.

“It won’t be the last. But it will get a little easier. Do you have an interest in covering these types of stories? Before you answer, it’s okay if it's not your thing.”

“It’s my dream! I have always been obsessed with international news. I think we all need to be informed as to what is what happening in the world and having that story from the perspective of a fellow countryman provides added value.”

Lyla smiled. “I can see why Oliver spoke so highly of you.”

Felicity blushed. Oliver spoke highly of her? “Thank you. One day maybe you will call on me. I understand the danger like you say but I also understand the importance.”

~~~~~

Every day following the dinner at John and Lyla’s she hoped to see Oliver return. She buried herself in her work always wanting to tell the best story possible.

She admired the photos she saw coming in from Oliver. But sighed yet again when she saw his empty desk.

Finally, late one evening when was giving her story her last run through, a paper airplane land on her desk. She quickly jumped up to find Oliver behind her.

“I’m back.” He smiled. Man, she looked beautiful.  Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, her glasses had begun to slide down her nose but she was in a red blouse and black pencil skirt. How could he have forgotten how beautiful she was?

“You have a tan.” Felicity blubbered. Oliver was wearing worn jeans and a tight blue t-shirt that left little to the imagination. She was so so glad to see him back safely. She really didn’t know what to say. She was proud of herself for not telling him how she’d missed him terribly.

“I do.” Oliver smiled, then decided on a lark to just go with it. “Would you like to go out to dinner with me?”

“No,” Felicity responded automatically.

“No? Sorry, of course, you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I should have asked, I didn’t think it through, you are….”

Felicity cut him off. “I didn’t mean no, no. Sorry, for that. I don’t have a boyfriend. I meant no for tonight. Tonight, I’m picking up my dog. So I can’t tonight. But I’d love to another time. I want to hear all about your trip.”

“Wow, Quentin is really rubbing off on you.” Oliver chuckled truly relieved she wasn’t turning him down.

“Haha.” Felicity felt the need to defend herself.  “I’ve always wanted a dog but after seeing Deadline and knowing I could bring my dog to work helped me decide to take the leap. Plus, Lyla wants one too so she’s the aunt. Tonight’s the night I bring her home. But if you wanted to come with me…”

“I’ll drive.” Oliver beamed.

Felicity grabbed her bag and followed him out of the newsroom.

Thanks so much for reading!

@mindramblingsfics @memcjo @mel-loves-all@wherethereissmoak @green-arrows-of-karamel @spaztronautwriter @wrldtravler @tdgal1 @vaelisamaza @oliverfel4 @lucyyh @swordandarrow  @smoaking-greenarrow @it-was-a-red-heeler @miriam1779 @coal000 @blondeeoneexox @laurabelle2930 @allimariexf @onceuponarrow @swordandarrow @msbeccieboo @tangled23works @icannotbelieveiamhere @1-crazy-dreamer @stephswims

[monstersandmaw]

Female orc x buff female reader (sfw, mostly)

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

Anon suggested that there should be more buff/strong/muscular women readers, and I wholeheartedly agreed, and spent the rest of the day writing this story. It was posted on my Patreon on early release, and it’s time to put it up here now. If you want exclusive early access to all Tumblr stories (except paid commissions when they’re open), and a Patreon-only story once a month, then head on over to my page and subscribe if you can! There are monster aesthetics and polls to help me decide what to write next, as well as posts from my original fiction and little snippets that I’ve come up with along the way. 

Anyway, here’s a modern orc lady and a buff female reader.

___

All gyms are essentially the same, no matter whether it’s a 24hr one or an exclusive city gym full of Instagrammers and fitness bloggers.

There’s the row of treadmills, filled with people puffing and panting, some just starting their fitness journey while others have steel-hard thighs and calves already; there are the bikes with the people texting and barely pedalling to the would-be Tour de France-ers going at it hell for leather; there’s the stupidly good-looking trainer walking around doing fuck-all and fist-bumping the regulars; and the shy folk working up the courage to use a machine in the main area: it’s the familiarity from which you draw comfort, even in a new place.

You adjust your thick ponytail and crick the tension out of your neck. You’ve done your warm up, and you’re ready to go to the hallowed weights section, enshrined in a far corner.

And sure enough, there’s the usual minotaur showing off how much she can bench, and there’s the orc doing bicep curls with a dumbbell as big at each end as your head, but it’s home to you. It’s only as you step closer that you notice the most beautiful orc you’ve ever seen, doing squats with a barbell.

Her ass is so perfect it makes you want to cry. She’s wearing tiny compression shorts that show every muscle of her gleaming, emerald green thighs, and a crop top that reveals washboard abs that actually make you a little dizzy. Her thick, red-dyed dreds are tied back in a low ponytail and they clack and clink with beads and shells. When she carefully sets it down and straightens, she glances over her shoulder, apparently looking around for her water bottle.

It’s sitting at your feet beside the racks. She catches sight of it, her liquid, dark brown eye seeing it, and then her gaze rakes up your body in a way that’s so much more than simply ‘appreciative’. Her lips part softly but before you can watch any more of her reaction to your tall, lean, hard body, you grin, stoop down and pick up the bottle.

“This yours?”

She nods mutely, and you toss it at her. She catches it flawlessly and drinks deeply from it before looking you straight in the eye and grinning her thanks.

“You free?” you ask, and she frowns, curious. You laugh at the crinkle in her brow. “If you fancy it, would you mind spotting for me when you get a minute?”

She eyes your biceps in the sleeveless top you tend to favour for weights days. “You look like you’d last longer than a minute,” she mutters. Her voice – a rich, rasping alto – sends a rush of blood straight down between your legs. She sets her bottle down and juts her chin at the bench.

As you set the weight and settle onto it, you toss her a cheeky grin. “Oh I can go for hours.”

“Careful,” she smiles, hands hovering momentarily as you adjust your grip on the bar. “Don’t distract me too much. You need me to count for you?”

“Sure.”

By now your little encounter has attracted the attention of the big male orc and his buddy, a massive centaur with the body of a draft horse. Even the minotaur has stopped her routine for a moment. They’re watching with unveiled interest and curiosity as you begin, and you feel that familiar, gritty determination sink into your muscles, into your bones, suffusing your whole being with the fervour to push yourself to your limit and then half a step beyond.

Your orc’s sculpted eyebrows, both pierced, rise a little higher as you keep going, until finally you nod and she helps you guide it back onto the rest. You’re panting hard, lactic acid burning your shoulders, setting the sinews aflame, but she’s just standing there as you sit up, one hand on her hip, the other flicking her towel over her shoulder. “Damn,” she finally chuckles, clearly at a loss for something more eloquent.

“I’d love to see what you can lift,” you say as you lever yourself to your feet and stretch your shoulders and arms out.

“I could always bench press you,” she grins.

“I usually save the acrobatics for at least the second date,” you reply instantly, and laugh as her eyes go wide.

It’s odd to see a shy expression on such a tough beauty. “You… You want to?” she falters.

“What, have you bench press me, or go on a date?” you chuckle, heading to the water fountain to refill your bottle, not looking back at her.

You know the shorts your wearing look good on you. You know she’s looking at your shoulders and arm muscles. It’s also the first time she’s seen the slogan on the back of your shirt, and she snorts with laughter as she reads it.

It reads: worth the weight.

You fill up your bottle and then stoop somewhat provocatively over the fountain, comfortable with the way your body moves, with the looks your hard muscles garner. It’s not to everyone’s taste, but you’re proud of your hard work, and you know you look good. Wiping the sweat and water off your chin with the bottom of your loose tank, you reveal your stomach to her before letting it fall to cover you again. “Coz I’d be open to either, preferably the latter then the former, but whatever works for you.”

“You free after your session?” she asks as you nod. “I’m Lily, by the way.”

Somehow the name really suits her. You tell her your name, and she repeats it softly, grinning around her big tusks.

She hangs around in the gym longer while you finish up, and you head down to the changing rooms and showers together. She comes out of her cubicle a while later with her hair piled out of the way on top of her head, her back is still wet, and she’s utterly, unabashedly naked.

“Warn a girl,” you mutter as you step out into the air-conditioned room, your own towel wrapped around under your armpits still.

She has the physique of an Amazon, and the gentlest looking hands. She turns over her shoulder and flashes you a grin. She’s got two dimples at the base of her spine and the curve of her ass was just so perfect you wanted to lay your hand on it. You can just see her rounded breast and dark nipple, pebbled against the chill of the room.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Lily replies with a grin. “You got me off-guard upstairs. It’s only fair I try to return the favour…”

She reminds you of the best kind of sparring partner and you grin openly at her. “I like you,” is all you have to say.

Your lockers are on opposite sides of the changing room, and when you’re done, you turn to find her sitting cross-legged on the bench in the middle of the room, watching you. She’s wearing a loose-fitting tank top, small, denim shorts, and baby-pink Converses. You’re surprised by the amount of jewellery on, particularly rings on her hands. It’s not overdone, but you’d not imagined she would be a jewellery type. Despite the rock solid muscles in her arms and thighs, her style suits her perfectly, just like her name.

She walks with you out of the gym, asking you about where you live and what you do. You tell her that you recently moved to the area for a new and better job, and she smiles. Lily works at the university, and rolls her eyes at your ‘brains and brawn’ comment. “You must get that a lot, I’m sorry,” you say, blushing.

“Coming from you?” she chuckles, shooting a sideways glance that rakes up your body again in a way that makes you shiver and your mouth go dry. “Come on, there’s this great ice cream place just round the corner from here. You’re gonna love it, and you earned it today!”

“You bet I did!” you laugh.

You both end up having chocolate and sitting on a park bench to enjoy it.

As you finish yours, you look up and see her watching you. Her tongue flits to the corner of her mouth, just catching her tusk.

“What, did I miss a bit?” you ask playfully.

“Yeah,” she says, eyes locked on your lips.

You smile and tilt your head in clear, if not overly-ostentatious invitation.

Her big, gentle hands come down on either side of your jaw and she leans down, kissing you so tenderly it’s almost hesitant.

“You’re not going to break me,” you whisper, and she inhales deeply.

“You want to come back to mine?” she asks, voice thick and rasping.

You nod. “Sure.”

Grinning, she stands, her denim shorts showing her legs off to incredible advantage, and she takes your hand and leads you back to her apartment.

___________________________

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[huffletiika]

About late studying sessions and presumably haunted corridors.

Ok, peeps, I have decided to take part of this year’s Lutteo ficweek… even if I have no time, or whatsoever. I might skip some days, tho, as there are some prompts that didn’t inspired me #tja. Anyway, I hope you like this one.

Anyway, just some info before you start reading: this OS is at the same universe as my Gastina multi-chapter “Hello, stranger.” So, if anyone is interested on reading it before (or after) getting into this, I will leave you the link RIGHT HERE. But, don’t worry, there’s no need to read it to understand the OS, as this is a prequel that takes place way before the events of my multi-chapter. However, there might be a little wink for those who read it.  

Words count: 2.4K.

DAY 1 – “it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost”.

Finals are going to be the death of her.

Seriously, it’s like no matter how much she tries to keep her studying schedule going, she will just not gonna make it, not even with the very well done graphics an diagrams her best friend made for her. Days doesn’t have enough hours for her to have enough time to learn all she has for her exams, and at the same time training for the skating competition, and going to all those social events her grandfather told her she must go in order to keep the Benson’s inversions safe and sound.

She can’t wait for summer vacations.

The next day (correction, that day, as it’s already three in the morning) she has one of the most important exams for her career, and she really need a high grade on this one in order to pass.

She tried studying in her dormitory, she really did, but she gave up at 10pm as the girls from the dormitory next to hers and Nina’s had decided to throw a party for the end of the semester, and the music was so loud she thought the walls would break at any moment. So, she had to walk all her way to the library in order to find a quiet place, internally grateful for living in a dorm inside the campus. Her parents would kill her if they find out about her having to walk down the street in the middle of the night.

Since the finals started, the library has remained 24hrs open as an incentive for students to use it to prepare for their exams instead of the many outdoor places on campus, as the benches outside the buildings, or the dark gardens. It might sound crazy, but just a week ago they found a student sleeping in a picnic mat outside the engineering faculty, hugging his advanced calculus book, mumbling something about going late for his exam while on his sleep. There were memes with his picture all over the campus app, it got viral.

The library has become the second home for many.

Surprisingly, that day the library doesn’t seem to be as popular. Well, there were many students when she arrived but, as midnight arrived, she noticed she was the only one at that specific section, and that the rest of them were practically empty. That’s just so great. She tried to focus on the words from her text book, on solving the problems, on getting all that info into her head, but as it started getting later her eyes started to burn, and the words became blurry, so she finally realized that what she didn’t learn in the whole semester, she wouldn’t learn in those five hours she had left before having to go comply her death sentence. Come what may, her father is always telling her, and she believes him.

She is so gonna fail.

When she stands to leave the study cubicle she notices it’s darker than she expected. There are some light spots, of course, but many of these seem to have gotten damaged. She walks toward the shelves to put the books back at the place they belong, and as she gets deeper at those dark aisles, she starts to have the feeling that she is not alone.

She looks around, but there’s nothing either on her left or her right, and she tells herself that it’s just her head playing games. She has never believed in ghosts, even after her biological parents appeared in her dreams, and she wouldn’t start doing so now.

She leaves the last book at the right shelf, having to get on her tiptoes for that hard mission, and then sighs looking at the time on her phone’s screen. If she leaves now she will be at home at 3:40, and so she would have a couple of hours to sleep. A sound coming from her left calls her attention, putting her on alert. But there’s nothing. There’s no such thing as ghosts, she reminds herself, you are just tired from studying, and it’s all in your head.  But there were stories, many indeed, of a student that died in the library years ago, crushed by a shelf that fell on her as she tried to reach a book that was on the top, and other who took his life on the 90s after losing all his finals.

Those are just stories, she reminds herself as she tries to breathe in and breathe out to calm herself, and get her backpack from the floor, but as soon as she gets up she finds someone standing right in front of her.

She screams.

Someone from the distance shushes.

Throwing her backpack at the mysterious figure she tries to run away, but it grabs her wrist, and she is not able to get away from its grip no matter how hard she tries.  

Her heart is racing inside her chest, she is scared, much more than after waking up from one of those terrible nightmares about the fire where her biological parents died. Her mind isn’t thinking in other thing than running away, than getting into her room and hiding under her blankets, maybe hugging the very cute teddy bear her grandpa gave her when they found out she was the granddaughter he thought he had lost years ago.

“Calm down, Chica Delivery. It’s me,” a male voice she knows pretty well gets into her ears, calming her down, throwing all fear away from her body. She looks back at him, stopping her intends to scape, and as soon as their eyes meet, she manages to let go of his grip with a swipe.

“Are you crazy, Matteo?! You scared me to death!” she claims, wishing to have something to throw at his stupid face when she sees him grinning. He’s just- Ugh! She can’t stand him, or his stupid smile, or his perfect eyes, or that hair of him where she wants to dig her hands in, and…

Enough.

“Ouch, I didn’t know I was that ugly,” he teases, and then bends down to pick up the backpack, and then offers it back to her. “Let’s make it a tie. I mean, you almost killed me with this,” he adds, as she gets her belongings back.

“I didn’t meant to… it was your fault for scaring me,” she fires back.

“Oh right, keep blaming me,” he rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. Oh shit, she thinks, he’s wearing one of those stupid vests that look way too good on him. Her sanity decides to submit her resignation, there’s no way she could handle him. “What are you doing here at these hours, anyway?” he asks. “I thought your roommate was the kind of person who would be okay with you studying in your room no matter what time.” She has to look away when he carelessly supports his side on the shelf.

How does he always looks so good?

“She is,” she defends her, frowning at him. Nina is one of the few people she has met in Buenos Aires that she can confidently call a true friend. “But our neighbors finished their finals today, and threw a party to celebrate,” she explains, with a shrug.

He puts a grimace.

“Whoa, that sucks,” he says, and for once he agrees with him.

“Tell me about it!” she replies, and another shush comes from an undetermined place in the library. She lowers her voice. “And you? What are you doing here at this hour? I thought you had a fancy flat with enough space to study, even if you have the loudest roommate, which you don’t,” she asks, and his stupidly attractive grin gets wider.

“Can I ask how you know that?” he rises his eyebrows, and she swears under her breath. She can’t tell him that her roommate has a crush on his roommate, that’s practically breaking all the rules of friendship.

She goes for a better excuse.

“You seem to forget that your ex-girlfriend is my cousin.”

“And it seems like you have paid too much attention to what she says about me,” he fires back with a cocky smile. His fresa attitude drives her insane. “But, don’t worry, it’s normal to want to know more about me, you are not the only girl who does that at the campus.” She rolls her eyes.

“Whoa, Chico Fresa, I thought your ego couldn’t grow bigger,” she replies, sarcastically. Then reminds him:  “You still haven’t answered my question.” He shrugs.

“This is just a really nice puns-free environment to study,” he briefly answers, looking away as if something has ashamed him. How come? She frowns, and he changes his attitude in a click. “Anyway, are you going back at your dorm now? I can give you a ride.” She’s about to reject his offer, but he interrupts her. “I know you live inside the campus, but it’s still dangerous to walk there alone at this hour, so please let me take you there.” How could she refuse his offer after those words? She ends up accepting.

----

His car seat is the most comfortable thing she has ever sit on, she thinks, as she closes her eyes and lets the sound of the engine, and the delicious smell of his cologne (the one that seems to dominate the place) lull her, to the point of even falling asleep for a few seconds.

She hears him chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” she asks, her eyes still closed.

“Nothing,” his response comes quickly, but then it seems like he gives up. “It’s just… you almost look inoffensive right now.” She sticks her tongue out at him, and he giggles.

Then they stay silent for a couple of minutes, in whose she nervously drums with her fingers.

“So, I went to the Jam & Roller last night and saw the Roller Band playing,” he casually says, as if taking those words out of his mouth wouldn’t have cost all of his courage. “Your boyfriend and his bandmates are really good,” he adds, as he parks in front of her building.

“Yeah, they ar… wait, boyfriend?” She looks at him, confused.

“Yes, the guitarist is your boyfriend. Isn’t him?” he frowns.

He saw them being very affectionate with each other some weeks ago, at the skating rink, and that restrained his attempts to get closer to her, to let her know how much he likes her. Gastón wouldn’t leave him alone since then, of course, bugging him about how an idiot he was for letting those assumptions stop him from getting the girl, as if he wasn’t MATTEO BALSANO, the king of the rink, the one who always gets everything he wants, and throwing bad puns and references about Luna at any given opportunity.

“No, we are not,” she replies. “He’s my best friend, I know him since I lived in Cancun, why would you think we are dating?” She asks, and he glances away, looking kind of ashamed.

“I just supposed it as you seem to be so close,” he answers, with a shrug. Internally, he is dancing la Macarena, and opening a bottle of tequila. He might indeed do that as soon as he gets to his flat.

Luna and Simon aren’t a couple.

He has a chance.

He needs to make a plan, and fast, step up his game and get a date before she leaves the car. He isn’t going to miss any more time, not after the disaster the past month has been.

“But I guess I was wrong,” he adds, turning off the engine of the car. She makes an overacted face of surprise, and takes her hand to his forehead, as she’s testing if he has fever.

“Are you ok, Chico Fresa?” she asks, her really bad acting making him smile. “You just admitted you were wrong about something, so this is either you dying from some sickness or a miracle,” she teases, and he cackles.

“Ha-ha, Very funny, Chica Delivery,” he takes her hand out of his forehead, even if he would have wanted it to stay there for a little longer. He casually forgets to release it, tho. “Then, if he is not your boyfriend, I guess there wouldn’t be a problem if I invite you out for a milkshake one of these days… like, for example, tonight?” he suggests, knowing he’s risking a lot with this proposal. He slowly releases her hand. After her response he will have either a date with the girl he fancies since they met, or the biggest rejection of his whole life. The only one that would have mattered. “I mean, I owe you that for scaring you today.” Yes, he thought, make it sound as casual as possible.

She frowns.

“I thought we were even after I almost killed you with my backpack,” she replies, and he’s almost sure she will say no, he could feel it in his bones, or maybe those were just his insecurities kicking in. Since he met her, he knows how it feels to be afraid of not being enough for someone, of being rejected. She takes what seems like an eternity to consider his offer. “But, who am I to refuse such an invitation?” He felt his own smile growing on his face, as the cloud of doubt fades away. “Tonight is perfect, I will need lots of sweet after failing my exam,” she confesses.

“You won’t fail it, Chica Delivery. Stop being so negative,” he tries to cheer her up, bopping on her nose, making her wrinkle it. “I’ll pick you up around seven, is it okay for you?” he asks, and she nods with a bright smile.

“It’s a dat…” she interrupts herself, getting as red as a tomato. “I mean, it’s a… a deal,” she stutters and then bites her lower lip. He laughs and nods, but in his mind he is the one doing it.

“It’s a deal,” he agrees, and then both of them say goodbye. He might have intentionally missed her cheek while kissing her goodbye, touching the corner of her lips instead.

“Hey,” she tells him, putting half of her body through the window after closing the door, as her height wouldn’t help her much. “Send me a message when you get home, ok?” she asks him, and he couldn’t help but smile back at her and nod. If he wasn’t before, now he is sure that he is deeply in love with her.

 You (sent 3:40am)

I’m home, Chica Delivery.

ChicaDelivery (sent 9:31am)

I’m so sorry, I fell asleep.

And I’m running late for my final!

Thanks for not forgetting about the message.

See you tonight?

You (sent 9:38am)

It’s ok. I hope you get there on time.

And I’m glad you didn’t forget about our deal.

See you tonight, Chica Delivery ;)!

[betsonbetty-blog]

Now What? Pt. 7

Hey I'm back. Let me start off with I am so sorry it has taken me so long to upload this chapter. I have been in the middle of a bunch of exams as well as double shifting at my job. I would have posted it sooner, however, I absolutely hated what I had written. I literally threw everything away multiple times. Only one of those old drafts is still on my computer. Also, reviews make me really happy and motivated to write so if you could do that it would be awesome! Anyways, hope you enjoy!

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Part 7

"You will not believe what some of these college students in at that university do!" Alya recounted her experience during her study abroad semester. "They have this weird ritual when they get their class ring. So, the ring is a big deal over there. Once they receive it they drop it in a pitcher of beer and then chug as fast as they can. So many people throw up. It was insane." Adrien and Nino came back in with all the stuff Nino needed, calling the attention of the three girls sitting down.

"Alright, that should be it. I should have it ready in an hour, but remember it still has to sit for 24hrs." Nino began setting up first grabbing what looked like a jar filled with cinnamon sticks.

Marinette worried over Adrien. Their friends didn't want to say what had happened to Gabriel, but they assured him he is well. Chloe stood up after glancing at her phone. "I need to head out. I promised Madeline to help her finish fixing up the nursery today. Sasha is almost here, and we want to be ready," Chloe glowed as she spoke. Alya's hand went over her heart with a soft face. "I will be back tomorrow morning. Adieu," Chloe blew a kiss at the group and walked out.

Alya stood up shortly after, "I need to go too. I have deadlines to meet. Thankfully, Nora was free to watch the boys. This school break couldn't've come at a worse timing. I will see you later. Alya hugged Marinette, "Au revoir."

"This is going to smell really strong. You might want to go to a different room. Can I open the windows?" Nino looked up from what seemed a cauldron.

"Yeah, whatever you need. I guess we'll be around if you need anything let Amanda know," Marinette grabbed Adrien's hand and walked outside their office.

Once out of earshot of Amanda, Marinette turned to Adrien smiling "how about we explore more of the house?" The hallway filled with Adrien's laughter from looking at his bug bouncing from excitement. Nodding he began to follow her. The hallway led to the living room with a grand piano off to the side. "This is amazing!" Marinette quickly went to touch the quilted couches.

Adrien's eyes didn't leave the piano as he felt himself gravitate towards it. Immediately he went to the left corner and there it was. E.A. in elegant font. He felt his mouth dry and throat tightened as his eyes began to sting. He felt Marinette's arms slip around him. Adrien took a deep breath and cleared his throat, "E.A. Emilie Agreste. The piano belonged to my mother. I hadn't seen this piano since my mother's disappearance. Father had it in her study. A study he kept under lock and key. I never thought I would see it ever again." There was fondness in his voice as he spoke, "Have I ever mentioned the reason I love the piano?" Marinette shook her head as a nostalgic smile formed on Adrien. "My mother used to play the piano with me every day. She taught me piano. I would always change the melody," tears began streaming down his face unable to contain themselves anymore. "Honestly, if it wasn't for my father I would still enjoy the piano tenfold," Adrien grabbed the notes on the piano, "Fur Elise. I wonder why this still here after so many years."

"Daddy are you going to play right now?!" Emma's voice rang through the room from where they had just come from. "Daddy why are you crying?" Emma looked up at Adrien with wide blue eyes and smiled, "I know, I'll sit next to you and play just like you used to with mamie. That always makes you happy when you're sad," Emma caught him by surprise. Marinette couldn't help to smile as she saw the warmness in his eyes. Adrien nodded and removed his glasses to wipe his eyes. Emma lit up and sat on the bench as Adrien sat to her right. The notes were familiar. His chest filled with a warm sensation. Lucky for Adrien had been practicing this song for a while now. Emma began playing the simpler notes on her end, however, she changed some of the notes. This caught Adrien of guard and caused a knot to re-form in his throat. Marinette leaned on the piano as she stared at the love of her life with their future daughter. The sight of them would have stopped her fourteen-year-old heart, but as an eighteen-year-old she simply felt love. Love towards the boy she fell for twice and love for her daughter.

The song ended as Louis walked in holding a device, "mommy I want to play with you." Marinette smiled as the boy walked over. However, internally she couldn't stop her mind racing. She didn't know how to play the piano. The kids were going to find that they weren't their parents. Well they were, but not at the moment. What was she going to do? Her eyes flickered at Adrien for a second, but it wasn't enough for him to notice. Emma had his full undivided attention. Louis handed her the device in his hands while he beamed as he looked up at her. She felt herself relax. Video games, of course. "Oh, can we connect it to the big tv this time?" She could practically see stars in his eyes, his father's eyes, with his hands clenched in front of him.

"Of course, minou," Adrien's heart fluttered as she spoke. This was his future. Louis ran to the tv at the other side of the room.

A brunette woman entered the room, "Mr. and Mrs. Agreste, I have finished packing lunch for later. Mrs. Amanda informed me you have plans with the children later. I will be back around 5 o'clock to watch over the kids tonight."

Adrien ransacked his brain for her name. "Thank you, Camille," Marinette smiled sweetly at her. Adrien was glad one of them had remembered her name. The woman nodded and left. "Alright, think you can teach me how to play again," Marinette sat next to their son and ruffled his hair reminding her of Chat Noir's hair.

Louis lit up, "silly mommy, you always forget," he excitedly began explaining to Marinette. The game was a simple platformer and the duo began to play together.

*************************

It was a beautiful sunny day out. Adrien was finishing up strapping in Louis on the booster seat as Marinette was putting the picnic basket in the back of the car. Marinette had made sure to pack extra cookies and Adrien asked her to pack camembert. They had decided on having Marinette drive since she had a lot more experience. Gabriel had only recently and reluctantly allowed Adrien to learn to drive. They set the GPS to the park Nino had recommended before he left. A man in a suit knocked on the window and Marinette lowered the window, "Marinette Adrien, Claude and Faye are ready to go. Are you positive you don't wish Eric to drive?"

Marinette smiled lightly laughing, "Alexander I am positive." Alexander fidgeted slightly clearly uncomfortable. Safety was his number one priority. Every time Adrien or Marinette chose to drive themselves it made him uneasy. However, he knew they were more than capable of staying safe. All members of security knew their secret, but never spoke of it to them. Marinette and Adrien weren't the sneakiest of people. Sometimes it caused all of them to laugh when they would see them 'sneaking out' or the ridiculous excuses they give. One thing they were good at, nevertheless, was hiding how they become superheroes. Being the best bosses they have ever had and at this point practically family, they always worried about them. "Relax Alexander," Marinette petted his arm.

Alexander sighed in defeat and smiled, "very well. Enjoy your afternoon." Alexander walked back into the house closing the doors behind him.

The afternoon past by in a blur. Claude and Faye stayed near by enough to notice them, but not enough to eavesdrop. Adrien and Marinette spent the time talking and laughing as the twins played. Plagg and Tikki imputing every once in while from the picnic basket. They remembered all the signs that they were Ladybug and Chat Noir. "Every day it was Ladybug this Ladybug that. It got even worse when he realized he had fallen for your civilian self. 'Plagg what do I do? I am in love with two different girls. Am I a horrible person? I don't deserve either'," Plagg teased his holder. "So many times after your fight against Dark Owl I wanted to say something, but couldn't because of the damn spell," Plagg grumbled and grabbed another piece of cheese. At some point, Marinette lightly punched Adrien in the arm for all the times he made her worry as Chat. The drive back was a quiet peaceful one. The twins had fallen asleep in the back. Adrien looked at them and smiled. Two wonderful kids and one on the way, he took Marinette's hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. She smiled as she turned slightly pink.

When they arrived at the house one of the maids, Liliane, was already waiting for them. Quickly she rushed to assist with unloading the car. Marinette handed the keys to Eric. Without waking the twins up, Adrien and Marinette managed to carry them inside and put them in bed for a little longer. Adrien walked downstairs to let Alexander know Eric would be driving Marinette and him to dinner. He was so excited he almost didn't notice Camille, "oh perfect. Camille, would you mind waking the twins up in twenty minutes? They fell asleep in the car after the park. I want them to be able to sleep at night."

"No problem, Mr. Agreste," Camille continued walking.

Amanda had told Marinette she picked up her dress from the dry cleaners for tonight and was hanging in the closet. She walked in the shower and began singing. Hearing Marinette singing made Adrien feel like the luckiest man alive. As soon as she was done she got out to allow Adrien to shower. Adrien was finishing up laying out his outfit, a blue suit with black tie, when she walked out. It hadn't occurred to either one of them that Marinette would have only a towel on. The moment they realized it, both turned completely red. "Sorry," Adrien looked away while he put his hand on his neck. Marinette quickly scampered into the closet. Adrien swallowed hard. A cold shower that's what I need. A very cold shower. He stripped and went in. As he began to shower he noticed the products. Strawberry scented shampoo. He smiled. He was helplessly in love with a girl who made him fall twice.

Marinette was still blushing when she saw the dress. It was a dusty pink cocktail dress with an empire waistline and strap halter neckline. She quickly started on working on her hair and makeup. The dress was thankfully easy to zip up. Adrien knocked letting her know he would be downstairs waiting on her. She found gorgeous gold heels and clutch and was ready to go. Adrien was in the middle of a conversation with Eric when he saw her walking down the stairs. Absolutely sublime. "You never fail to look amazed at her. I hope one day to find someone to look at the way you look at her," Eric's voice brought him back to earth. They told the twins goodnight and headed off. For the rest of the night Adrien couldn't keep his eyes off her.

Adrien kissed Marinette for the millionth time that night. Adrien straighten up as Marinette removed her makeup and a wide grin appeared on his face, "hey, what do you think on going out for a run?" Marinette nodded smiling and rushed to finish up. Once done they held hands with their kwamis floating above them. They nodded at each other, "Plagg" "Tikki" "transforme moi!"

They didn't have to say where to go they already knew. The Eiffel Tower was lit as always. Once they reached the top they sat in their usual spot. "So, new Ladybug outfit. I like it. The black really makes the red pop."

Ladybug tapped his bell. "Ever the charmer, chaton," Ladybug laid her head on her husband's shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her and they stared off into the night in the city of lights.

[freudensteins-monster]

Winter’s Bite

Chapter 2 of ?

Also on AO3

If it's not obvious, I'm not remotely knowledgeable in any medical or scientific fields so I hope you can suspend your disbelief and accept my vague explanation of Bucky's condition as "HYDRA mad science" and continue reading. <3 

“Bucky?”

“…Darcy…”

“Darcy’s fine, Buck. She’s worried about…”

“…wrong with him?”

“We can’t be sure, but… HYDRA…

“…genetic experimentation… “

“…mutated DNA…”

“…be reversed?”

“No…”

** *** **

Bucky recognised the unmistakable smell of a hospital room before his addled mind realised he was in one. The ceiling and walls were painted white and in pristine condition, rather than the more ominous water-stained industrial concrete he was more familiar with. It would have boded well for him if it weren’t for the numerous restraints pinning him to the bed.

“Bucky, calm down! You’re safe!” a familiar voice pleaded as Bucky struggled to free himself.

“Steve?”

“I’m here, Buck.”

“What happened?” he demanded groggily.

“What do you remember?” Steve gently prodded.

Bucky thought about the question for a second before slumping back against on the bed. “Everything,” he muttered, unable to meet Steve’s concerned eyes. “Darcy’s okay?”

“Yeah, she’s okay. A little freaked out, but I think she’s more worried about you than anything else.”

“She should forget about me. And you should have stuck me back in cryo.”

“That’s not going to happen, Bucky.”

They were spared from continuing their well-worn argument by the appearance of Dr Banner. He was closely followed by Tony Stark, who loitered in the doorway, looking at the restrained super soldier with his default amused expression.

“It’s good to see you awake, Sergeant Barnes,” Bruce greeted with a small smile.

“Why didn’t you keep me under? It’s only been 24hrs, Doc,” Bucky replied tersely without needing to glance at a clock.

“The gas should have knocked you on your ass for about a week but your body’s metabolism has been hyper accelerated and burned through it in record time. Even taking that into account, we couldn’t risk giving you more sedatives without knowing how they would react with what’s already in your system.”

“I could have handled it,” he muttered.

“Well, I’m your doctor and I decided against it.”

“Probably a mistake,” Tony mumbled under his breath. Everyone in the room heard it but elected to ignore him.

“So… what the hell’s wrong with me?”

“You’re a vampire,” Tony replied merrily.

“He’s not a vampire, Tony. Vampires are fictional,” Bruce sighed wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose as was habit when he was dealing with the genius, billionaire, etc etc.

“Oh, come on, Bruce! He literally said he wanted her blood. All he needs is the bad European accent. Oh wait, HYDRA gave him, like, ten of those!”

“He’s not a vampire!” Bruce shot back, the device on his wrist warning him he was getting a little too worked up. Tony held up his hands in surrender and took a small step back.

“If I’m not a vampire, then what the fuck’s wrong with me?” Bucky snapped irritably.

“Buck, HYDRA did something to you…” Steve started.

Bucky rolled his eyes. Of course they fucking did.

“We’re not sure what exactly, we’re still running tests,” Bruce added. “But it seems that along with giving you a bastardised version of the serum they also altered your DNA in an effort to make you, for lack of a better phrase, a better killing machine. My working theory is that it didn’t work the way they wanted…”

Bucky flinched as memories of mangled bodies in formerly white lab coats came to the forefront of his mind, visions of a handler with his throat ripped out, the sight of guards running from him, their erratic pulses drumming in his ears, attracting his attention like fleeing rabbits to a greyhound.

“… they couldn’t remove the faulty sequence, so they injected you with chemical compounds meant to inhibit the undesirable aspects of the mutation. So when we flushed out your system we also unknowingly removed the inhibitors.”

“Cue the bloodlust,” Tony concluded.

“So, on that terrifying note,” Bruce sighed. “I’d like to test something, if that’s alright with you?”

Bucky nodded numbly. He watched Dr Banner pull a vial of blood from his pocket. Steve threw an arm over his chest protectively – no – in preparation to hold him down if he reacted badly.

“JARVIS, you’re recording on all fronts?” Tony asked his AI.

“Ready when Dr Banner is, sir.”

Bruce pulled the stopper from the vial and held it out towards Bucky. His pulse quickened, his pupils dilated, and he clenched his hands, stomping down on the urge to reach for it. He wanted it, that much was obvious, but when he had no other reaction after a few minutes Bruce put the stopper back in and pocketed it.

“Okay, vial two…”

The moment the stopper was removed Bucky thrashed against his restraints.

“Darcy!” he growled, more animal than man. “I want it!” he roared, fighting against Steve’s hold on him as the restraints threatened to break. “Give it to me!”

Bruce pushed the stopper back in and shoved the vial into Tony’s hands, forcing him out of the room and slamming the door shut in his face.

“JARVIS! Scrub the air!” Bruce shouted over Bucky’s wailing.

With every second that passed Bucky calmed down considerably, and by the time the air was completely clean he was back to normal but looking more ashamed of his actions than ever before.

A rapping of knuckles against glass drew their attention to the door.

“I don’t like being handed things,” Tony reminded them, passing the vial he was already holding at arm’s length to a passing nurse. He made for the door handle but Bruce held it shut.

“You can’t come back in without being decontaminated, Tony.”

“What?” Tony bristled.

“You might trigger another reaction,” Bruce explained simply, pinching the bridge of his nose as Tony reacted as only Tony could, storming off muttering about doing something useful like increasing security. “So,” Bruce sighed to his patient. “I think the results kind of speak for themselves. You and Darcy share a rare blood type, and what I tested her against was another tower resident with the same blood type. Whilst you did have a reaction to the first vial it paled in comparison to the second. I’m not sure why you would be fixated on her blood specifically, might be some sort of… genetic compatibility,” Bruce offered uncertainly. “We’ll need to run -”

“- more tests. I know,” Bucky muttered bitterly.

“We’ll be keeping you under observation while we run the tests. We can keep the room on lockdown in between so I’d be okay with removing the restraints…”

“No,” Bucky replied firmly.

“Buck…”

“No, Steve. I’m dangerous.”

I’m a monster.

Bruce ran every test he could think of over the next week, including several more ‘which would you rather’ scent tests. It didn’t matter what he did, how he tampered with the sample, how he diluted it, Bucky always knew which one was Darcy’s and reacted the same as he did the first time, every time.

At the end of the fourth day Bruce entered Bucky’s room with a syringe filled with ominous-looking black liquid.

“I’ve been going back through all your original blood work trying to recreate the inhibitors that HYDRA was giving you,” he explained.

“You figured it out, Doc?”

“Want to try it and see?”

Bucky nodded, ignoring Steve’s concerned look.

Bruce injected the solution into Bucky’s IV and waited for it to be fully absorbed into his system before pulling a vial of blood from his lab coat pocket. He pulled the stopper and held it out to Bucky, who glared at the vial accusingly before crinkling his nose in confusion.

“Nothing?” Bruce asked hopefully. Bucky shook his head. “Alright…” he murmured anxiously, switching vials. The moment the stopper was pulled Bucky groaned and thrashed against his restraints in frustration.

“Shit,” he growled, trying to hide his face from the disappointed looks he imagined were pointing his way.

“Well, that’s a marked improvement,” Bruce noted happily.

“It’s not good enough. I still want it.”

“It’s a start, Sergeant Barnes. We’ll just -”

“Keep running tests. Yeah, yeah…”

By the end of the week Bruce had developed a solution that inhibited Bucky’s reaction to all blood bar Darcy’s, and even that had been brought down from ‘uncontrollable, ravenous hunger’ to a ‘mild longing’. New tower-wide protocols were put in place to lockdown any room Darcy was in should she ever injure herself, and JARVIS, at Bucky’s insistence, would run interference between the two and ensure they never ran into each other. Bruce was satisfied with Bucky’s treatment and confident with the new safety measures, enough that he suggested that Bucky could be discharged from the medical ward. Bucky (and Tony) argued against it, but Steve wouldn’t hear of it and practically dragged his friend towards the nearest elevator.

“A hot shower, a decent meal, and a good night’s sleep,” Steve listed off as he herded Bucky into the apartment. “You’ll be feeling like your old self in no time.” Bucky pushed past him, ignoring Steve’s suggestions in favour of hiding in his room.

“Lock it down, JARVIS.”

Steve sighed as the door was closed in his face, loitering for a few seconds as he deliberated invading Bucky’s space so they could talk, but that hadn’t worked out so well all the other times he’d tried it during the week. He sighed and headed to the kitchen to fix himself some dinner, setting aside a second plate, just in case.

** *** **

Bucky lay awake on his bed for three hours before conceding defeat and returning to the comforting claustrophobia of his wardrobe. He managed to sleep for almost an hour before the nightmares of his bloodstained past were drowned out by a familiar rhythm.

…thump-thump...thump-thump...thump-thump...thump-thump…

When he awoke, his hands reaching instinctively for solid walls, he was confused to find that the sound was still there, calling to him like his favourite song. It took him a moment to remember where he’d first heard it.

Darcy…

** *** **

Steve woke with a start, immediately noticing the absence of a second presence in the apartment.

“JARVIS, where the hell is Bucky?” Steve demanded, pulling on a pair of pants.

“Sergeant Barnes is on the 61st floor.”

“Dammit,” he cursed, racing for the door. “You were supposed to warn me if Bucky went after Darcy,” he growled.

“Apologies Captain Rogers, but your exact request was to inform you should Sergeant Barnes be determined to be in the same room as Miss Lewis, despite warnings to the contrary, and as far as I have been able to discern he is not. He is currently sitting outside her apartment. Miss Lewis’ upgraded security protocols remain in place and Sergeant Barnes has made no attempts to draw her out.”

Steve faltered for a split second, absorbing JARVIS’ intel, before reaching for the emergency stairwell door and taking the stairs down, one flight at a time. He ran down a hallway, threw a right, and found Bucky exactly where JARVIS said he would be; sitting in front of Darcy’s door. His head was pressed up against it as his metal fingers tapped rhythmically against his knee.

“Buck…” Steve called, approaching cautiously. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to be near her,” he whispered, reaching out to touch Darcy’s door with his metal hand. “I’ve tasted her, she’s in my veins now,” he added lowly, his eyes looking far beyond Steve. His fingers began tapping out the same rhythm as before; two quick beats, over and over. “Wherever I am I can still hear her heartbeat. It drowns out the words in my head.” His faraway smile shattered and his arms shot out, yanking Steve forward by his shirt. “I don’t wanna hurt her, Stevie. Don’t let me hurt her,” he begged, tears welling up in his pale eyes.

“You’re not gonna hurt her, Bucky. You wouldn’t.”

“I’m a monster,” he recoiled with a hiss.

“No, Buck. A monster wouldn’t have told her to run and then gone and locked himself away from her. A monster wouldn’t be worried about hurting her. A monster would have broken down her door already. You’re a good man, Bucky.”

Bucky snorted and shook his head. “I don’t wanna be a good man around her,” he confessed. “Her blood sings to me like a goddamn siren, and I can’t keep resisting it. I’m not strong enough. She makes me weak, Stevie.”

“We’ll figure something out, Buck.”

Bucky shook his head more aggressively. “You gotta get me away from her, that’s the only way she’ll be safe. I can’t be around her,” he said, even as he leant against her door sighing longingly.

“How about I take you back upstairs and we talk about this some more?” Steve suggested, backing away from Darcy’s door, holding out his hand to his friend, begging him to follow. He couldn’t help but sigh with relief when Bucky took it and followed him back to their apartment.

Steve tried to discuss other options with Bucky but he refused to hear them, restlessly pacing in his room muttering to himself in between arguments, so Steve ignored the late hour and had JARVIS contact Bruce and Tony to make the required arrangements. A few hours later he and Bucky arrived at the upstate facility just as the sun appeared on the horizon.

My tag list is hilariously outdated, and I’m sure a lot of you are more interested in Loki fics, so please let me know if you want on or off: @storylover92 @marveil @dreamdancer19 @thefangirl33 @anonanonfrances @contains-cinnamon @jackiattacki  @sarabeth72 @hiddlestoncentral @annamegatron @angelus80 @dearmisterhiddles @writernotwaiting @ishoutmarcoandyoushout @hallotom @mrshiddelston  @lolomonster @bellafagoaga1812 @stormieandateacup @beautifullydamned16 @hardtopickausername @lorrmorr @antyc67  @ladyninasayers-ish @ladymirtilla @marvelousmissfit @yoursophiebelle   @xunconquerableheartx @iamwhoidecidetobe @tinaferraldo @larouau12 @hiddles-is-a-fallen-angel @lokilockedcougar @pollution-brown-eyes @loveshiddles4everme @mrsmalcontent @just-call-me-your-darling @inkededucatednnerdy @vampire-marie @whenweareallalone @captain-biryani @larouau12 @sweetsigyn @scarlettsoldier @mypreciousmind1 @wonderinthewoods @ohbvcks @echantedbytwh @omninocte @lucetheding

[richmarc]

Update on paper #100117

So seeing that i never really admit my problems i tend to write my facts on paper but never all in the same breath or at the sametime, ill let my guard down for this second cause i simply need to clear my mind

Dear Tumblr,

I apologize that i have returned in a moments notice and i know I've been gone for a while. A bunch of controversial drafted post sitting in my file to never see the light of day and fears....excuses as to why i stuck with you so long. I remember when you were as private as a joke carved into a bathroom stall door, now your like the gossip newsletter flying around campus streets. I got dicouraged, knowing i was writing what I considered at the time "blue magic" and my product wasn't reaching the customers in mass quantity.

Lately i have been soul searchimg and quite frankly I didn't find what i was looking for from the moment i left, but i confide in you cause beneath the codes and backgrounds of what you are and the freedom I believe you give me, i feel as if though i have the power to make my stream line of data you keep my world. Ive changed in so many ways and have yet to dound a way to be satisfied by you, so like a battered relationship i guess for now I'll stick with you cause you and I are misunderstood and "I know you love me... i know you do <movie quote "

So ill share how shitty I feel and see what you or the universe will have to say about my open letter to you..

I have been wasting my time with females that i deemed to be a fit for me, just to be dissapointed at the end that they be on some bullshit.

I had a beautiful daughter that i don't have the honor nor the pleasure to be around, because we live in different places and I dedicate my life and time to working and making sure she has a future when she grows up and its not possible where she currently resides. Upon visits their always arguments and fucking ridicule from family begging me to sink everything thats for my daughter down the drain and restart because the memories are more important.

My daughters mother i love with all My heart and never thought I'll see the day we gotta be like this... madd some decisions that wasnt keen as to why we are where we are...on top of the fact that its been years now and forgiveness lesson i still haven't learned. I've told this woman my greatest fears of never wanting my daughter to wake up without me there and etc... and its not easy scraping the plate completely fucking clean to someone who ACCIDENTALLY made you live out that nightmare

So.....suicide would be pointless and selfish now cause you dont live for you cause the moment i seen my daughter and she seen me...I've glady destroyed my world and soley been working to build hers...cause despite the situation im first and foremost a fucking proud parent.

Not eveyone knows she exists, the world is becoming a encyclopedia of open information. Google face recognizing this mf been in multiple pics with you, that you took a shit in this Macy's and their reviews are 4.5, or you spent the weekend in Birmingham's motel 6 and you didn't state how you like your stay.... so due to the confusion i just state needless to say something thats so near and dear to me i don't post, comment, hashtag on cause the world doesn't need to join in that aspect of my life right now. I wanted to take it like it was when I was a kid, you know no twitters and ig's, summers actually spent outside maybe 2 people on the block with a Nintendo but yall all shared games... it funny some people cant remember what they wrote a year ago yet... a memory like that can never be clouded nor replaced..

I work 17hrs out of 24hr days for people who use me like an ox pulling A plough through a fucking field....

Lol... trynna be nice and not simply state its like being what african american always considers on topics pointed to racism... but you get the jist. Knowing everyday your mind wonders off and consider you better, knowing you can do better than this hoping and wishing the boss will shown you some love for a meal ticket to eat and thats no anology js......

To a man who appears to have the comparison of a marshmallow but not in wieght and stature, but color and feelings... dexterities very bleek and immobile. The kind of guy my father say look out for cause they can never look you in your eyes.

Trying to move up in the company and do something i consider something that'll be worth missing my daughters 1st etcs..... had the interviews a month's ago. A flood hits florida and somehow that had something to do with mu fucking response to advancing or not cause some asswipe want to go down and volunteer knowing he's going for the same postion I am and we gotta wait for this non relevant mf to come back to have a "fair shot" are you fucking kidding me? There's 2 slots open and im staring at what I want just fucking sitting there dusting... ok...

My bestfriend that I've loved since I was 15, come to find out basically been lying to me the past couple of years sending me mixed signals about what our relationship is and what it could be and all along she thought lying to me about being happy with the mf she's with and randomly coming up pregnant with twins with the mf was gonna hurt my feelings if she just kept it honest and told me i never had a shot to begin with, meanwhile leaving me looking like the thrist-bucket who's been chasing her and she never looked as like she wronged me...hmmm then to turn around and find another mf you know whos near and dear done the same thing and hid a pregnancy cause they didnt know how you'll feel

Friends are becoming distance from multiple sides of the globe,with the exception of the 3 goats you always keep, love....? Ummm next,

The new company who bought your apt complex decides to waltz they ass in ya spot to call bullshit and try to charge you $300 for something

Uhhhh you get the picture

I say all thst to say it's been a rough little min, thats for those who actually noticed my absence... I'm trying to contain the balst radius for when imma lose it, but this 2'5 9month tape recorder keeps me in check from losing it all and making me retain humbleness, even in my worst of times.....

Consider this a memoir for when I actually get to the sweetspot of life ,the scallops and stallions for breakfast portion

But fuck it we all human I just don't have a problem admitting the shits thats been killing me...

Until I need you again Tum tum

Sincerely yours,

Hypno Umbrella

[chan-chanyeol]

first impressions // college!au baekhyun drabble

its still his birthday for me rn so im posting this! i dont have his other thing done yet oops. also, its my birthday tomorrow, he and i are practically twins lmao. 

First impressions are forever.

You work at the coffee shop on the west side of campus. You were so ecstatic to snag a job close to your dorm, that pays well, and that understands you’re a third year college student. Sometimes, when you take a night shift (since your coffee shop is open 24hrs) you get to lounge around with some homework until a customer walks in. You often see people who live in your building, and it’s a great way to make friends.

But now it’s finals week and your shop is slammed.

You don’t really mind, this isn’t your first rodeo, but you’re worried about your psychology final and you haven’t had much time to study. You’re not stressing about any of your other finals, you’ve had a pretty easy workload so far, so you’ve managed to cover a couple extra shifts to make some more money before you go on break. If you could only get maybe half an hour to look over your psychology notes, but people keep coming in.

However, it’s nearing 2am, and the amount of people are waning. You lean against the counter, peering over at the two other people in the shop. One is aggressively highlighting her textbook and the other is falling in and out of sleep as he reads through his notes. You pick up your psych notebook and start flipping through the pages, leaning against the counter. You manage a good twenty minutes of studying intelligence and social psych when the boy with his notes finally calls it quits and trudges out, and another half hour until the girl slams her textbook, orders another coffee to go, and leaves.

Now the shop is empty and you hop up onto the counter and read your notes intently. You read over the old psychologists, the idea of behavioral psych growing into something more, about aggression and altruism and—

Thwack.

You look up at the door and see a guy on the other side cradling his face, mumbling and whining to himself. Did he just walk into the glass door? You stifle a laugh, closing your notebook and tossing it aside. You hop off the counter and go to the door, opening it.

“Hello,” you say.

The guy peeks through his fingers at you, his eyes slightly watery. “Hello,” he croaks. “I ran into your door. I’m sorry.”

You let out a laugh and step aside, inviting him in. He stumbles forward and you follow him in, slipping behind the counter again. He finally releases his face, a red spot on his forehead and nose, stepping up to the counter and looking up at the menu.

You unabashedly admire his face, his soft look features accented his ruddy brunet hair. Which, was a mess, but you can’t blame him, it’s nearly 3 in the morning on the third day of finals. He was dressed in a plain white t-shirt and some sweatpants, flip-flops on his feet. You’re thankful the weather has decided to be nice this week, allowing students to dress more comfortably. All he has with him is a small bookbag slung over his shoulder, maybe a notebook or two in there.

He looks back down to you and you give him a smile, which he returns. “What can I get you?” You ask, finger poised to press buttons on the register.

He hums and shifts his weight side to side, and you notice his eyes glance down to your name tag. “A medium macchiato with no whipped cream but extra caramel?”

You nod and type it in, then grab the medium cup. “And your name?”

“Baekhyun,” he replies.

You write his name on the cup and mark out what he wants, then go over to make it. The quiet coffee shop is momentarily alive with the sounds of the machine, and you make sure to slather the drink with caramel. You pop a lid and a sleeve on the cup before handing it back to him.

“Here you go, Baekhyun,” you say, smiling at him again.

“Thank you,” he says, taking the drink and returning the smile. “I haven’t paid yet.”

“It’s on the house tonight,” you say, clearing the order on the register. “A pity drink since you ran face first into the door.”

His smile turns bashful and holds the drink closer to himself. “I appreciate it,” he mumbles, reaching into his pocket for a couple of small bills and shoving them into the tip jar. Baekhyun turned around and found a table, setting down his coffee and grabbing a notebook out of his bag.

And thus he began studying, so you returned to sitting on the counter and studying, too. A half hour flew by before you knew it, and you hopped up to make yourself a small hot chocolate to keep you cozy in the last couple hours of your shift.

“Aren’t you in my psych class?”

You look up from your notebook towards Baekhyun across the counter. “Am I?”

Baekhyun props his elbows up on the table and rests his cheek on his hand, staring at you intently. “I think you are. I feel like I recognize you.”

You hop off the counter and close your notebook. “I think I would recognize you, especially if you’re clumsy enough to run into a door.”

Baekhyun droops his head and lets out a laugh. “That’s seriously just the first time I’ve done that since I’ve been here!”

You laugh with him, grabbing your hot chocolate and notebook, coming out from behind the counter and sitting down in front of him. You open back up your notebook to where you left off; aggression and altruism. “Who’s your professor?” You ask.

Baekhyun sips his coffee, bright eyes focused on you and not his notes. “Professor Park, with the hair that’s half grey, half black, and the glasses that are way more circular than they should be.”

You let out a laugh at his description and nod. “Apparently we do have the same psychology professor. Same class and everything?”

Baekhyun smiles at you, glancing down at his notes. “Yeah, I see you sometimes, you always sit at the front. I sit in the back.”

“That’s why I don’t see you,” you note. “It’s a bummer the class is ending, we could’ve studied together or something.”

He tilts his head in an endearing way, watching you closing with a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, it’s a shame. We could study right now though, unless you’ve got work to do.”

You make a show of looking around the empty cafe, then back to him. You shrug. “If somebody comes in, I’ll help them, but I have a couple more hours in my shift I’d love to spend studying with you.”

He brightens up even more, sitting straighter in his seat and flipping through his notebook. “Awesome. Since you sit at the front of the class, you must be smart, so can you help me with the subsets of the nervous system?”

And thus began your cram session of the entire psychology textbook before your shift ended. You and Baekhyun passed questions back and forth, filling each other in or supplying whatever decent answer either of you could. It was nice to study with somebody else, and talking about the concepts out loud really helps you grasp them. And, now Baekhyun understands biases and meta-analyses, which apparently were giving him a run for his money.

But 6am comes too fast, the sun breaks the horizon and you’re both too busy to notice the sunlight seeping through the windows. You only glance up at Baekhyun every now and then to make eye contact during a very intense discussion of a definition, or a study that changed psych, or something like that, and you nearly miss the fact that the red mark on his forehead has faded away.

The bell on the door rings and draws both of your attentions away from your notes, from each other, and you crane your neck to see your coworker waltzing in, bedhead a beautiful mess and her undereye bags designer.

“What’s up?” She asks you, finding her way behind the counter and started herself a coffee.

“Just studying,” you inform, closing your notebook. Baekhyun watches you with big eyes. “My shift is over, so I better go sleep before our psych final this evening. You should, too.”

Baekhyun heaves out a sigh, closing his own notebook and nodding. “Good point. So, I’ll see you then?”

You give him a smile as you grab your notebook and slip behind the counter, collecting your things. You slip on your jacket and sling your bag over your shoulder, watching as Baekhyun stands up and grabs his own bag.

“Yeah,” you reply. “Maybe I’ll sit with you in the back so we can cheat off each other.”

He gives you a sly smile, eyes sparkly as he opens the door for you. “It’s a bummer we didn’t notice each other under the end of the semester.”

“I know,” you sigh. “But, I guess that’s college.”

“Yeah,” he says, stopping a few feet in front of the coffee shop. He gestures back to it. “You work here often?”

You nod, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. “Yeah, usually just Tuesday and Thursday nights.”

Baekhyun bites his bottom lip for a second before giving you a stunning smile. “Then I’ll see you around.”

You return the smile brightly, feeling your cheeks heat up a little. “Yeah, see you.”

And you both turn and go your separate ways, but you know in the back of your mind that you’re going to be seeing a lot more of him in the near future.

[sirwallahoo]

92 truths

tagged by @silvercistern​ and @painpackerrisingsun​ (GINA, I’M DOING IT (JUST BARELY) LESS THAN A MONTH AFTER YOU TAGGED ME. TAKE THAT)

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag (AHAHAHAHAHA)

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mom [3] text message: ...telegram giving me my activation code? or Ian [4] song you listened to: um. Pillow Talking by Lil Dicky (beginning of the video is NSFW, for like 45s? Parts of this make me think of Bokuto. Also this is long.)  [5] time you cried: last night

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nope [7] been cheated on: nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: nope [9] lost someone special: yeah but i’m a monster and it didn’t affect me as much as it “should” have [10] been depressed: i think, but dunno [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] bright green [13] deep blue [14] uhhh...silver? or a different green 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yeah! [16] fallen out of love: nope [17] laughed until you cried: i did that within the last 24hr [18] found out someone was talking about you?: not in a bad way  [19] met someone who changed you: not really because i don’t meet new people like ever, except online. i guess maybe they’ve changed me a little. [20] found out who your true friends are: nope, i’m a hermit and have successfully whittled my friends down to very few [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nope

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% [23] do you have any pets: one bird, nine dogs currently but really only four dogs [24] do you want to change your name: nah, too much hassle and my parents would be upset. i do go by my middle name a lot, though [25] what did you do for your last birthday: avoided everyone i know [26] what time did you wake up: 4am, 7am, 10am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching BNHA and playing games [28] name something you cannot wait for: next episode of BNHA [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: this morning. she is why i woke up at 7am [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: wow it would be cool if i was motivated to do like....anything [31] what are you listening to right now: ...latest episode of BNHA  [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah [33] something that is getting on your nerves: why can’t crunchyroll autoplay the next episode on chromecast (this is not really actually getting on my nerves because i’m pretty chill right now, but i couldn’t think of anythign else) [34] most visited website: neopets, probably [35] elementary: what does this question mean? it was a private catholic school. i was a member of the like two not-white families who attended there [37] college: i went to a nerd school. it was fun. i should have done some things differently. [38] hair colour: black [39] long or short hair: it reaches my butt, but i’m thinking of cutting it [40] do you have a crush on someone: kind of? more like a squish [41] what do you like about yourself? boy i am really easily entertained [42] piercings: one in each ear. i think about getting a tongue piercing sometimes, but i am a baby with pain and also i’m allergic to a lot of jewellery [43] blood type: B+ [44] nickname: none IRL, several online [45] relationship status: single  [46] zodiac sign: gemini, snake [47] pronouns: she/her mainly (and always IRL unless you don’t know me), they/them are ok and i’ve gone by he/him in the past [48] fav tv show: HQ or BNHA atm  [49] tattoos: none. i think about getting one, but again, baby with pain + i cannot commit to something long-term.  [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: wisdom teeth, otherwise none [52] piercing: i was young. four or five? [53] best friend: douglas [54] sport: soccer [55] vacation: when i was very young, we drove from New York to Miami. Not sure if that counts as a vacation though, as we didn’t go for vacation-y purposes. Maybe Niagara Falls...?  [56] pair of trainers: my guy, i don’t know what kind of sneakers i own now, i don’t remember my first pair

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: tacos [58] drinking: water [59] i’m about to: rewatch this episode because I don’t have control over my life [60] listening to: see question 31 [61] waiting for: the hammer of death to strike me down [62] want: juice [63] get married: how is this a “right now” question? I’m not getting married right now. It’s not a priority for me, but if neither of us are married by the time we’re 40-ish, I’ll marry @ardathsade for the dual citizenship convenience. [64] career: boy...money would be good...

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: don’t touch me [66] lips or eyes: i guess eyes. i don’t notice people’s lips. [67] shorter or taller: taller. i like to feel small (i am not small) [68] older or younger: older [70] nice arms or nice stomach: both are good. stomach if i have to choose. [71] sensitive or loud: both. sensitive if i have to choose. [72] hook up or relationship: i guess relationship, but not really interested in either atm  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nope [75] drank hard liquor? nope [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? not lost as in forever. misplaced temporarily, then all the time [77] turned someone down: yeah [78] sex on first date? nope [79] broken someone’s heart? hope not. doubt it. [80] had your own heart broken? not broken broken, but close [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? yeah [83] fallen for a friend: almost exclusively

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? nope [85] miracles? nope but kinda [86] love at first sight? i become attached to people easily, but i wouldn’t say love. i can’t decide for other people if they’re in love or not.  [87] santa claus? nope [88] kiss on the first date? i believe this is a thing that happens... I probably wouldn’t because I am so so weird about being touched. [89] angels? His name is Kouda Kouji.

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: katie probably, maybe saranya  [91] eye colour: brown [92] favourite movie: I don’t watch a lot of movies. The latest I’ve seen and really liked was Kimi no Na wa....so that. 

tagging: um I don’t know who among my friends have done this because this was going around like a month ago. 

how about some mutuals i never talk to (hello you guys are cool, i’m not sure why you guys still follow my trash blog, but thank you, no pressure to do this, sorry if you don’t like being tagged!!): @irnnotaboutthatlife @buddhistmamaduck @widow-tracer @omelettable @indigoire aaaaand @ardathsade (well...we don’t talk on HERE very much..)

[ofbutterfliesandlions]

I've had a particularly rough last 24hrs. Out of nowhere, I felt my self-confidence shatter; and immediately became paranoid and anxious that people I was role-playing with found me annoying, that they were responding out of obligation/politeness, and that, ultimately, they wished that I kept my ooc comments to myself. It wasn't even over anything bad--rather, jokes about series and laments for what could-have-beens. There was no reason for me to think, "hey, maybe I'm bugging them", except for the sheer fact that I was enjoying myself. Cue what has been one of the most painful, and depressing, 24hrs I've had in a long time. I don't keep track of my bad days, just that I've been overdue for a really bad one. I eventually just quieted down, tried not to cry, and went to bed. Getting up this morning was not any easier. But I did, because my cat wanted me to, and I tried to communicate with others that I was hurt. Tried, but failing. Eventually, I got to a point where I could eat, and slowly worked on my dishes over a couple of hours, and go to a point where I felt like I could go out to the laundromat, as needed. And then the fog of it was gone. Now, it still hurts, but I'm not drowning in my pain. I'm not barely holding back tears, though I still have tears to cry. And I finally decided, maybe this was a good time to read for myself. I had done a quick reading over an app earlier today-- which basically amounted to "YOU'RE DEPRESSED"--, and decided to try again, because I've been meaning to do one with the Numinous Tarot for awhile now. The Shadow card was drawn first, and immediately it resonated with me. From the drawing of a person with a hollowed soul, being tied down by that feeling, all the way down to the gentle and easy-to-understand description in the book. I nodded. I got it. This was me. It was the feeling I've had for the last 24hr hours, the pain in my chest that hasn't gone away yet. I felt a little nagging in my mind. Curious, I decided to see what the next card was. The Lovers, reversed. My favorite card in this deck for its aromantic inclusivity, on a card typically associated for romantic endeavors. People united. A sense of community. That stuff. Reversed, I'd typically associate it tothe equivalent of someone banging pots and pans together, screaming "YOU FEEL DISCONNECTED!!!" at me during that. But Noel designed their deck differently, with different things in mind, so I went to check and see what they had in mind for this card. "Ignoring yourself" "hat[ing] yourself" "vulnerability", and a sentence about loss and death. Being clear and honest, and to not give out "hints" or "guessing games and tests". Which is something that I do, that sets myself up for failure, when people fail to notice. There's no majestic tie-up for this reading, no mystical insight into making myself --and any who may read this-- better. It's just a simple, hey, here's how you feel, and here's why you feel this way. Have you tried doing these things, with nothing attached?