#i have thoughts about it. based entirely on 1 line in 1 fanfic that made me wonder what movies exist in perfumare

[fictiffelix]

What stage of obsession is it when you're rewriting movies in your head to fit the world building. Like if American Psycho was set in perfumare I think Patrick Bateman would be a dream shaper but they'd leave it unclear what level and part of the intrigue is whether he's in reality or the dream world

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 20

Another Milestone everybody you know what that means! Time for another instance of me trying to be a little extra! 

And today we have a very special piece, cause this ones based directly on a previously mentioned fanfic by Val! Which I will now link!

Chapter 1 of Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed (Give it a read!)

I tried to be a bit more meticulous with this one, for example, I made sure to put the two in their school blazers rather than the outfits featured in the games. Mostly thanks to an offhand mention in the early chapter that Mikan was putting on that outfit. And since this takes place in a Non-Despair AU the two are just attending highschool as normal, so no need to have them wearing their Killing Game attire during school hours. This being a Non-Despair AU is also why Junko’s wearing the hair accessories more commonly associated with Mukuro’s Disguise. As while Monokuma has been talked about in the timeline of Val’s Junkan stories, as far as my memory will allow there’s never been a noted instance of Junko wearing her Monokuma Clips.

Is this me reading into it too much? Was none of that even remotely the intention? No clue! Never thought to ask Val about it, bit late for it too!

(Future Jem Typing) With a lot of hindsight now I realize I might not have been as accurate to Junko's uniform design? (Future Jem No longer Typing) Honestly once the event is further underway I wouldn’t be surprised if I went in and did some cleanup and full linework, color, etc (possibly a full remake if I'm crazy) for this one. I would have done so now but as mentioned in the previous post, burnout for this project is kinda crazy right now. But as my first proper gift to Val as thanks for her work with this ship, I’m still pretty happy with it! Tried to be as close as possible to the original text as I could.

There is a part of me that feels bad letting my bias bleed through a lot in this project, because this is not going to be the last time I draw something either directly based on or inspired by one of her fics. But also given that this entire event would not exist without the amount of work she’s put into writing these two, or the motivation she gave me early on in the project, I think it is mildly warranted in this instance. 

And don’t worry, I do have a few days lined up that are influenced by other authors, moreso in the latter half. Hopefully that’ll be a good counterbalance. 

Once again, go read that fic, it’s one of my favorite reads among Fanfic, and both it and the rest of Val’s work deserves your attention! . . . in my totally unbiased opinion. adsjfjlsdjfhsa

[animazi]

AO3 Wrapped: Writer's Edition

tagged by @cheesenames

Words written this year: 43,215 (genuinely how. for context the last things I wrote before this year were all sub 1k pretty much)

Works written this year: 5, all star wars, 3 of those being peedy...

Work Most Proud of: girl and ghost. for something written for a headcanon I don't personally like that much I think it ended up being the neatest and best constructed of everything? providence, in summer has, imo, several massive pacing, thematic and structural issues that annoy me deeply

Work with Most Hits: providence, in summer which is the inevitable answer given its a) not a crackfic, and b) is about an actual main star war character

Fav title: providence, in summer. it's based on the 'providence in the fall of a sparrow' line from hamlet, which is imo quite fitting for padme as I read her (a character who has devoted her entire life to grander works than her, save this little corner of peace she has attempted to whittle out - which even then is caught up in prophecy lol - and I like and certainly used the force sensitivity via the twins idea - suddenly getting these strange awarenesses of the world you can't control and feel alien yet total in their correctness. horrible!) but I thought the unaltered quote was both too long and also didn't properly represent the themes of the fic, see my earlier note about how I'm not satisfied with providence overall lol, so I added the 'in summer' part which does get across another slightly flopped theme of that aka the temporary nature of it all. something both longed for and hated (I despise the heat in summer)

Pairing You Wrote the Most For: sigh. with pain in my voice I must accept my crown. peedy. I was also the World's Most Prolific Peedy Writer (I know I know, please hold the applause)

What Work was the Quickest To Write: um. my dad...the emperor! which I wrote on one (1) train journey. admittedly a full day of train journey, but still.

What Work Took You Longest To Write: providence, in summer...and I'm probably going to redo it at some point lol

How Many WIPS do you have for next year: idk man ideas just spawn in my brain from time to time and sometimes they get accepted, and sometimes they go live in the googledocs prison. I do want to write the vader and the obi-wan ones I've had in docs hell for a while though...

Longest Work of the Year: providence, in summer, although coruscant dreams; or eedy in love is a relatively close second. what can I say I'm a versatile person

Shortest Work of the Year: one love story. I haven't finished it though. I want to do a coffeeshop (cafshop?) au and some other deeply cheesy 2010s fanfic au concept in it still

Fav character to Write: embarrassing (true) answer. eedy. because all im doing is writing crack so I really don't have to care that much about ensuring she has a coherent characterisation going on lol. the serious (false) answer would be padme though, I just really love her so even though I agonise about how to write her, I still have fun

Which work of yours have you re-read the most: girl and ghost because it is actually good.

Total Kudos this Year: boring

Total Hits This Year: also boring

Total Bookmarks This Year: see above

Total Subscriptions This Year: ditto

What Do You Listen To While Writing: either silence or like exclusively sofia isella songs? I don't even like them that much I cannot explain it, 'everybody supports women', 'I looked the future in the eyes, it's mine', and 'all of human knowledge made us dumb' all just. have writing vibes I really cannot explain it

Fav line or passage: oh god. evil question. uhhh can I choose two? nobody is stopping me

from girl and ghost: "She had realised that they were doomed one unremarkable afternoon in the gallery when Vel tipped back her head and laughed, golden girl awash in sparkling glass crystals. In the bright white light the tips of her eyelashes had shone like burnished copper bringing out the blue of her eyes, like some delicate artefact Kleya would handle white-gloved, carefully removed from touching it - for its own sake." (this was one of the first things I wrote for this. I really like it, even though the great gatsby influence is obvious...) from providence, in summer: "In her mind, she dismounted from the guarlara and walked out alone into the grass, blades brushing her shoulders, tangling in her hair until they pulled it out of the tight nautilus shells and carried her feathered headdress down to the ground. They pulled out the ribbons in her hair, brushed away her makeup, tore down the regalia of the queen and left the girl behind to walk on forwards deeper into the grass sea and its whispered susurrus-song; a land baptism between the sky and the sea in the art of emptiness, of hollowing out the self and allowing Naboo to reform her. The pale moons, veiled by day, bore witness as she walked alone and unafraid through the ocean, her path her own. Above her, the hawk followed, thermal currents carrying it smoothly along with her. Morning dew that had not yet evaporated beaded on her bare feet and the air was alive with the ancient song of the wind and the high chirp of crickets and calls of birds. The hawk cried, and Padmé woke from her dream." (I will stand by this: a good amount of providence is genuinely my best writing. it's the sort of somewhat self-indulgent prose I really love, and think fits a padme pov story.)

I. I have not read very much fic this year I have to be honest. I don't read for fun at all during term time, and I've been writing more this year, so I don't know whose done what or tumblr usernames, so I fear I must be boring and double tag @wlwanakin and @midnight-melancholiaaa

[zeroducks-2]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

@sproutwings tagged me in this, thanks Sandrine ♥ I'll give it a try!

How many works do you have on AO3? on the Zero_Ducks account, 37 (+1 unrevealed).

What’s your total A03 word count? 393,092

What fandoms do you write for? Only DCU at the moment.

What are your top five fics by kudos? (all of these are Sladick!)

You could be my luck, with 394 Kudos. REALLY? Oh well that's a discovery lol. Dick gets pollened and hides in Slade's safehouse because it's the closest he can get to, hoping Slade isn't home. Slade is in fact right there.

Darling Little Things, with 355 kudos. Also quite the surprise! Omegaverse in which Dick is pregnant with Slade's pup, but hasn't told him out of fear Slade wouldn't want them. Everything goes surprisingly well.

Served Cold, with 338 kudos. This one was expected since it's more than a single chapter and was a pretty anticipated entry of my Sladick series. Slade takes his revenge on a hit that Dick ruined.

lie in your bed the way you made it, with 327 kudos. LMAO. I love this fic. It has to be one of the filthiest I've ever written. A pwp in which Dick took a blow intended for one of Slade's marks, and not wanting him to die, Slade has to take care of his sorry ass.

Slade's lucky day, with 301 kudos. My very first Sladick fanfic! Slade is on a mission in Montenegro, and Dick is too. They end up accidentally and less accidentally helping each other, with some strings attached.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always. Fandom remains stagnant without interaction, and that's on writers too, not just on readers. Also if I post a fic (which doesn't happen often compared to how many fics I write) is because I want to talk about it with other people!

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Among those I posted on AO3, probably Losing Game. It's an Eobarryiris fic, and I imagined a potential way it could go well but it ends on a very angsty note (it's a timeloop situation in which they have no idea how to break it, and one of them keeps dying in every cycle so they keep resetting it because they can't let him go).

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It has to be Darling Little Things, it ends on a very fluffy note.

Do you get hate on your fic? Not regularly but it happened. What hate gets there is promptly deleted, trolls are not to be fed.

Do you write smut? My smut has plot sometimes.

Do you write crossovers? No, the most I can do is "characters from X universe are now in Y universe", but I don't mash-up characters.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yeah. Long story. Bad ending. It was years ago though.

Have you ever had a fic translated? A couple of times, not from the Zero_Ducks account though!

Have you ever co-written a fic? I co-write pretty often.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I am too ADHD to pick one. Speaking of the DC fandom (which I'm here for), Sladick and Eobarry which I'm sure doesn't come as a shock for anyone.

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Boy I have 200+ WIPs I will never finish, and I really want to finish like 80% of them lmao. Probably Clipped. Based on the fact that I have no idea how to finish it (it's a Bad Guys Won scenario in which all them little birds are captive and in distress)

What’s your writing strengths? Smut!

What’s your writing weaknesses? Being that I'm not a native English speaker, I have a hard time writing in "styles" which penalizes the dialogues. I have no idea how to show that a character is a certain English speaking nationality, how to give them dialectic quirks, how to make them speak in an old fashioned way. I can in my native language though, and it frustrates me so much not to be able to "translate it".

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? If it's just a small line it's okay, it helps the immersion. If it's entire dialogues I don't see why, people don't understand it what's the point.

First fandom you wrote for? Possibly Spyro Gateway to Glimmer when I was 6 lmao.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Again strictly speaking for the Zero_Ducks account, I think it's Elegia. It's been almost two years but it holds the test of time, the emotions still feel very raw and the smut is still good (it's that one time Dick's suicidal behavior after Jason's death went a bit overboard, and Slade decided to do something about it whether Dick liked it or not).

I got to tag people now I guess! No pressure folks, it's just the law

@deepwithintheabyss @anawrites3 @waffleinator-inator @ftl-faster-than-life @ladytauria @thesandsofelsweyr and anyone who wants to do this!

[goldenstarprincesses]

Henlo! You rebloged my post about France in fanfiction and I wanted to reply to it because I found what you said interesting, but because you used just tags would be goofy to reblog it again so I am sending an ask!

I agree about the cannon not helping, the thing is France got better in the cannon, he is more interesting now. I am not very into Prussia so I don't remember if he got better in later parts. But this thing about him being the worst in PruCan fanfic isn't something I noticed in Brazilian Fanfics or maybe I just don't remember lol

I wrote my post at 1 AM and now I stopped to think about what annoys me about how simple and awful Francis' characterization is and I noticed that it simply doesn't have a reason. When I was writing my fic, I wanted to make him bad in a European kind of way, he is France, France really did a lot of shit, he is kind of goofy and useless now? Yes, but that wasn't the case in the Early Modern era.

I also never saw no one exploring his sexuality. Why is Francis overly sexual? Why is he so dramatic? Why is he always trying to get in someone's pants? Real people have reasons to act overly sexual, they aren't just born this way, but WHY I NEVER SEE NO ONE ASKING THOSE QUESTIONS??

Thank you for rebloguing my post and confirming I wasn't just seeing things lol

Hiii! First, I adore your blog. Thank you for introducing me to the world of TurkFra. My eyes have been opened and my mind widened.

I almost think the fandom needed to go through the "dark times" or "dark age" of character interpretation to get where we are now. I know there was for sure a shift happing when I dipped out of the fandom in 2016ish. And when I started occasionally reading fanfics again during lockdown I was blown away with the shifts regarding the characterization of nearly all the characters.

Totally agree with you 100% about interpreting a character like France in a way where he is bad shit person, because of the actual actions of France. Imo its really important to include things like that into every nations characterizing when engaging in more "real life inspired" characterization. Almost have to wonder if the rise in popularity of historical hetalia has had anything to do with this change. While it was sorta a thing in the early years of the fandom, it didn't really seem to have much of a collective following and community. And now it seems that characters of empires/colonists like France/England/America/Russia etc. have shifted away from being written to have very goofy and comically negative traits more in-line with the 2008-2012ish canon to having their negative traits rooted more in the real-life negative habits or traits of the real world nations. I'd also wonder if the average age in the fandom has gone up which has helped characters simply be better developed.

The "bad touch trio" was super common back in the day. It was France/Prussia/Spain. Pretty much the entire characterization for them all ended up being sex addicts who went around well, SA or SH other nations. That mixed with the very silly "everything is based on basic national stereotypes" vibe of early canon I think just made i so a character like France ("nation of love"/the idea that the French are much more sexually liberated then the English or Americans) was very one-sided even when other charters were getting a little bit better of treatment. I also always felt like France was never as popular in the American/English fandom as American and England. So he (and often Canada) would sorta just thrown into things without much development character-wise.

You bring up so many good points!!! legit I have always thought about things like this.

[raccoongrippers]

◁☆Ghost + Soap (can be non-platonic if you so desire) x any gender reader☆▷

TW : Depictions of depression, self harm, helplessness, loss of appetite (?), self neglect, 1 or 2 swears spread out throughout writing. [I apologize if I missed anything triggering]

This is comfort + fluff (I tried, at least.)

(Reader can be any gender, doesn't change anything about the story)

-If you are uncomfortable with any of these, please do not read-

This is a TF141 fanfic. If you do not like that, or are triggered by any of the things listed above, do not proceed.

If you don't like what I've wrote, don't spread your opinion and just move on, thank you very much.

Days are bleak, the nights that follow even more so. It's an unbreakable routine that doesn't change – wake up, get dressed, maybe eat something, leave for work at the base, do bland paperwork for hours on end, leave, shower, maybe eat again, go to bed, repeat.

The cycle is boring, bland, and overly familiar. But the one thing that breaks the routine, that temporarily wipes away some of the stress in your bleak days–self harm. You know damn well it isn't a good coping mechanism, it only wrecks you further, but it's almost become an addiction at this point, and even your last bright brain cells can't stop you from making the clean, bloody cuts that line your arms/thighs.

Today is especially bleak. It's one of your days off, one you should be spending doing something to try and better your mental health, but instead using as time to just sink into your sorrows, laying in bed for countless hours as your own self-destructive thoughts cloud your brain and make you lose track of time. By the time that you actually get out of bed, it's already the next day, and you hadn't showered, eaten, or drank a single thing in the past 24 hours.

The only reason you actually got out of bed was to answer the door after hearing a loud knock upon the wooden plank, only to find two very familiar faces on the other side–Soap and Ghost.

They don't usually visit when they have their days off, so this is something entirely new for you.

You end up opening the door despite looking like shit–messy and unwashed hair, dark circles under your eyes, and your scarred arms showing the new and old scars that line your once smooth skin. You shift in the doorway, looking exhausted, earning you a concerned look from both men.

They're both silent for a bit longer, before Ghost finally breaks the silence with a soft tone, ".. Are you alright, y/n? You haven't come out of your barracks for 2 and a half days, everyone is worried sick about you. What's going on?"

This sudden care sprung into view sends an unexpected flood of warmth over your body, silencing a few of your darkening and depressed thoughts for a while. You don't know how to speak in response, so Soap speaks, following suit of Ghost, "Do you mind if we come in?.." He sounds just as concerned as Ghost did when he spoke, if not more.

After some much understood hesitation, you stepped out of the way and opened the door fully as a silent invite for the men to come inside. Only then do you notice them both holding at least one bag in their hands, seeming to be grocery bags. Soap quietly shuts the door after himself, Ghost having been the first to enter after being invited inside.

Your barracks only reflect your inner sorrows with no blinds opened, no sound other than the ones being made by the three's breaths and the ticking clock somewhere in the distance, and the place just straight up smelling of sorrowful regrets.

Soap sets down the bags on your kitchen counter as Ghost goes over and opens a few blinds, just to let some light into the dark place you shamefully call 'home'. He then opens one of the windows, letting a much needed gust of fresh air into the gloomy area.

You simply watch the two work as they help to clean and brighten your living quarters, making it much less gloomy and just a bit more liveable. Just as you were being distracted with the sound of fresh, beautiful breeze coming in through a window, Soap gently takes one of your hands and kindly leads you to the bathroom, where he already has a clean pair of clothes set on the counter with a towel.

He speaks in a gentle voice, "I already drew a bath for you, so all you have to do is get into the bath tub and wash yourself. If anything at all goes wrong, I'll leave the door just a tiny crack open so me and Ghost can hear you, alright? We're here for you." He then walks back out of the bathroom, leaving it the tiniest crack open, just as he said he would.

This is all completely new to you–the care, the actual non-toxicity of the people and things around you–it's enough to rise you from your thoughts for a while. You slowly step into the bath tub after getting undressed, and you can already feel the warm, welcoming water caress and flow against your skin. It's a nice change from your grimy and dirty bed sheets and covers that constantly are wrapped around you, enveloping you in your own despair.

After your bath, you dry yourself off and put on the fresh pair of clothes, feeling rejuvenated. It's a nice change of pace. You step out of the bathroom only to be met with the sound of your washing machine and dryer working away at your own clothes that Soap graciously put in there for you. He even put your old sheets in there along with your blankets, which Ghost is now in your room working on replacing with new ones. Your room looks so much less gloomy than it usually does–your blinds are open, shining in the welcoming and bright sunshine of morning. Ghost is currently inside straightening your bed and cleaning up all the sprawled out clothes, random items, and garbage that was scattered across your bedroom.

When both the men are done, you almost don't even recognize your own living quarters anymore. You can actually fully see the wooden floorboards of your flooring, the sun is shining nicely in through the window, and your bed is finally neat and tidy after the many times you woke up and told yourself today's the day I'll straighten it out, despite knowing in your gut that you would never get around to doing so.

Both Ghost and Soap are at your side now, giving you all the love you'll ever need; hugs, head kisses, comforting words of reassurance, and other simple affections. As Ghost is warmly cuddling you in your bed, Soap is in the kitchen making you some actual food, knowing full well that you were too drained to make yourself more than something stale that you found lying around in your cupboard.

"Me and Soap are going to take you grocery shopping tomorrow, and you're going to pick out some actual food for your cupboards and fridge that you will eat, and some fun drinks if you'd like," Ghost promises as he plants a gentle kiss to your forehead. "We're here for you, and so is the rest of the team, alright? You don't have to go through this alone. It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to need someone by your side. You're only human, you can't help it."

You and Ghost lay there warmly cuddling, snuggled against each other for a while, before Soap enters the room with three plates of food. Each plate has two well made eggs, a piece of toast, and two pieces of bacon. Ghost sits you up gently against the pillows that are set up against the headboard, Soap handing you one of the plates before sitting across from you and Ghost at the foot of your bed.

The two men stay with you for the rest of the day, and the day following, just to make sure you stay healthy and happy under their watchful eyes. And you don't mind the company either, it's nice not to be alone for a change.

ᰔ-------------------------------------------------------ᰔ

Note : You're only human, and don't let other people make you feel like shit. If you just look and find your person of solace, I promise it'll all work out. And sometimes going to a therapist or counselor can help you a lot if you choose to go to it, and choosing not to ask for professional help for many reasons is perfectly okay too. But talking about your feelings is deeply important, bottling them up isn't healthy for any human being. You're worth so much more than you may think ᰔ

[mistydeyes]

Hi! I'd like to request something about my OC and Ghost. I'm writing a fanfic about my OC, and to know her better I'll link my headcanons to her https://www.tumblr.com/gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot/718834905462751232/sergeant-christine-riot-vega-task-force-141?source=share

I'm feeling a bit down with life and my fic so I thought I'd request something about them to cheer me up. Of course feel free to not answer or not do it, it's perfectly ok!

If you decide to do it, I'd prefer something fluff/smut (smutty fluff? fluffy smutt? :D ). My fic is a slow burn and although there are signs (and I have their first kiss already written), I'd love to see something with them already established. In my head, although both are deeply traumatised (both having undergone torture and lost their families) their relationship is surprisingly healthy.

Again, should you have other questions, or just discard this completely, it's completely fine. Thank you for reading!

This is my first time writing something like this but it was so fun! Literally love a good fluffy smut ;) Please go check out their OC! The amount of detail they put into it is amazing :)

a scarlet red dress

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: Inspired by @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot and their OC, Sgt. Christine "Riot" Vega There are a myriad of whispers that plague the relationship between Ghost and Riot but many don't know what they do at home. What starts off as a slow morning, eventually turns into one of passion and muffled moans.

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x OC!

warnings: NSFW CONTENT AHEAD (18+ only please), swearing, sexual descriptions

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

The Lieutenant and the Sergeant, a duo known for their fierceness in battle and for taking out targets before they even saw what was coming. Whispers flowed through the ranks of the two masked soldiers and Price smiled when he heard them. Although he had only taken her on due to the praise of Soap, she had quickly proven herself to be worthy of marching alongside the 141.

Along with the rumors of their position, whispers also floated around about their trysts outside of the unit. At first, it started with crude comments from all genders about their relationship status but soon they divulged into some observations keen recruits made. "Did you see Lt. Riley has a ring as a necklace? I saw it yesterday in training." "Nah how about Sgt. Vega, look at her left hand there's a tan line from having a ring on it." While their relationship was only known to their squad, it was clear that everyone had some suspicions.

Simon and Christine didn't care, they both had experienced the crude gossip in their time. What many people got wrong was the idea that Riot and Ghost had 1. been married for years and 2. were lovesick puppies on and off base. Ever since they first met, Christine and Simon were both content with a relationship that was slow, painstakingly slow. Even when the idea of marriage was proposed, it seemed like a formality as they acted as one unit together. They also both were not ones to put their entire love story on display, if you were a recruit you would just think they were close colleagues.

Regardless of all of that, Simon and Christine did share some tender moments while on leave. Most of the time, it was filled with silence and reading as they struggled to adjust to a calm home instead of an active warzone.

As Christine finished another chapter of her book, she closed it gently and laid herself on Simon’s chest. She held his face gently as she saw his dark eyes flick around the words on the page. The sun shone into the room and she admired the way he looked in this light. His hair and stubble appeared perfect against his skin and she ran her fingers along his chin. He placed a protective hand on her back and continued to read his novel. “Do you ever get bored of this routine?” Christine asked and Simon glanced down at his wife. “Can’t say that I do,” he replied curtly and went back to whatever chapter he was on.

“Simon, let’s do something spontaneous,” she suggested and quickly grabbed the book out of his large hands. He looked at her questioningly as she thought of a nice activity for them. She peered at the window and noticed the sun shining brilliantly in the England spring warmth and decided on her plan. “A picnic,” she whispered. “You can’t be serious,” he replied as he looked at her incredulously. She only nodded in response and went to their bedroom to change.

Christine’s closet was barren, only having a few outfits and such. That wasn’t a surprise for both her and Simon as soldiers tended to travel light. She flipped through a couple of options before she found what she was looking for. A scarlet red sundress. The reddened linen contrasted with her skin perfectly and it was something she wasn’t used to wearing. She pulled it out gently and inspected it for any wrinkles. Finding none, she changed into the fabric and examined herself in the mirror. It had been a dress she wore on one of her first “dates” with Simon and it still fit perfectly against her muscular form.

She smoothed out the ankle length dress and smiled at herself. As she turned to walk to the kitchen, Simon was standing in the door frame. “Fucking hell!” she yelled as she was caught by surprise. She took a gasp of breath as Simon stared at her, a new hunger in his eyes. He looked like a bull as he eyed the red fabric lustfully. “I have a better idea than the picnic,” he said and slowly closed the door behind him.

Christine slowly approached him and they met in front of the bed. He quickly went to grab her waist and bring him closer to her. “I love that color on you,” he said, huskily, and gently kissed her. What started as a soft moment eventually divulged into a whirlwind of hungry kisses and muffled moans. Christine’s hands flew to Simon’s back as she tugged gently on his grey t-shirt. He similarly grabbed her thighs and explored the exposed area underneath her dress. After breathless moments, he held on to her thighs and picked her up to place her on the bed.

As Christine eyed her husband, he looked at her splayed on their duvet. Her blonde hair laid perfectly on the cream sheets and her dress added a sensual pop of color to the bed. He took off his shirt to reveal his chiseled figure as Christine eyed him lustfully. He gently got on top of her and moved the hem of her dress to reveal her dripping to his touch.

“May I?” he asked and she flirtatiously pushed his head lower and lower. She gasped when Simon teasingly blew cold air on her flushed core and pushed her long legs together in response. “I want to see all of you, Doll,” he commanded and put his hands on her ankles to expose her.

He slowly got on his knees and pulled her thighs to the edge of the bed. Christine was shocked at the action but Simon left her little time to recover. With one hand gripping her chest and palming the red fabric, he began to leave hickeys on her inner thighs. His stubble rubbed against her as her mind flooded from the pleasure she was receiving. Simon used his hands to gently push up her dress further. He wanted her to see the extent of his actions. “Please,” she whimpered as Simon teased her center and continued to grip her fragile body.

Immediately Simon’s lips were on her core and her body arched in response. His tongue moved desperately between her folds and Christine couldn’t help but moan at every flick. She could feel herself become undone when Simon teased her entrance with his fingers. As he placed hot kisses on her clit, he used her wetness to slowly massage her hole.

As Christine’s breaths grew more erratic and her moans become louder, he plunged two fingers into her. She reflexively tightened her legs around his head as she saw his strong arms pump in and out of her. Simon held her breasts as he continued, curving his fingers in just the right formations. The room was filled with Christine’s pleasure as he continued. She gripped the sheets as she could feel her climax approaching. Simon’s hand moved to her waist as he brought her closer to him.

This was what did it for Christine as she screamed in ecstasy, Simon’s hands becoming constrained by her spasming insides. He felt her thighs tighten around him as she slowly recovered.

As Christine’s breaths slowed, she shook as Simon caressed her cunt gently with his tongue, making sure to clean up the mess he had made. He pulled the dress back down and moved her to lay on the pillows. He laid next to her and allowed her to ride out her pleasure. As Simon looked into Christine’s eyes, she devilishly climbed on top of him. She sat teasingly on his lap, knowing that they would be having a day of fun as Simon let out a restrained moan and lowered her waist down his lap.

[vveakfish]

Wish I Knew (You Wanted Me) Linear reading order (chronological) | [table of contents]

On ao3 the series is already ordered chronolocially, for the most part. But this one is a little more thorough.

I'm going to be throwing not only fic titles at you, but chapter numbers too. This reading order will take you through this narrative from beginning to end, as smoothly as possible.

or thats the goal, anyway.

I'll be updating this as we upload more chapters, meaning this post is a WIP. There are arc descriptions and more detailed chapter orders under the cut, but here's the Bare Bones if you don’t want spoilers:

Prologue:

Why Don't You (Say So) Trade My Tomorrows (For Our Yesterday)

Part One:

Dancing (With Another Man) [ch 1-7] Hold On (To Me) [ch 1-4] D(WAM) [ch 8-10] It Started (With A Whisper) D(WAM) [ch 11-12] HO(TM) [ch 5] D(WAM) [ch 13-22] D(WAM) [ch 23-25] | HO(TM) [ch 6+7] D(WAM) [ch 26-31] D(WAM) [ch 32-38] | HO(TM) [ch 8-12] HO(TM) [ch 13-18] D(WAM) [ch 39-41] D(WAM) [ch 42-44] | HO(TM) [ch 19-22] D(WAM) [ch 45-48] HO(TM) [ch 23-25]

welcome beneath the cut! get comfy, and let me be weird for a bit. This is going to be made up of blurbs about what these different mini ‘arcs’ of the story focus on — as well as trying to lay out chapter by chapter reading orders to the best of my abilities.

And hey! if you (dear reader) have any reading order thoughts of your own, shoot me a comment or a DM

now, lets get into it:

PROLOGUE: Why Don't You (Say So) Trade My Tomorrows (For Our Yesterday)

These two act as a sort of backstory. It gives you a base understanding of what Dick's relationships with Wally and Roy were like, which leads us into

PART ONE: Dancing (With Another Man) [ch 1-7]

this arc sets up the larger conflict of the story, focusing on Dick, Wally, and Roy's reactions to it.

Hold On (To Me) [ch 1-4]

sets up timkon side plot, and shows how the core four are dealing with the main conflict

D(WAM) [ch 8-10] It Started (With A Whisper) D(WAM) [ch 11+12] HO(TM) [ch 5] D(WAM) [ch 13-22]

this seventeen chapter block kicks off the courtship arc which makes up the bulk of the part one plot — tensions are running high, and Dick has big decisions to make.

D(WAM) [ch 23-25] | HO(TM) [ch 6+7]

these two sections show the same events. And there's two potential ways to read them depending on the kind of reading experience you're looking for. Dick's storyline: -> 23, 6, 24, 25, 7 Tim's storyline: -> 6, 24, 25, 7 (+ 23 (optional)) Technically, Dick's story line would be the truly chronological one. You have all the information as soon as it's available to you. Tim's story line, however, makes this chain of events more of a mystery. You still find everything out, there's just more suspense beforehand. chapter 23 (Roy pov) & 7 (Tim pov) cover a lot of the same ground, which is why it would be optional to read 23 after having already read 7. But personally I think there is still something to gained from experiencing the appeal first hand along with Tim's second hand pov. Whether you read both is entirely up to you. Is this convoluted and possibly unnecessary? Yeah, probably, but hey! Have you ever been reading a comic and then had to chase down a tie in issue from another run just to understand what the fuck was happening? Think of it like that. This is superhero comic fanfic, after all.

D(WAM) [ch 26-31]

we'll call this the aftermath. You could read this as is, and it will make sense — in rereading this story in its entirety for this post, however, I've realized there is another potential reading order. 27 (Steph pov) leads directly in from HO(TM) ch 7 so, you could read this arc like this: HO(TM) 7 -> D(WAM) 27, 26, 28-31. Doing this is not necessary to enjoy or understand the story. Technically, it is the more chronological way to read these chapters, but don't worry to hard about this one.

D(WAM) [ch 32-38] | HO(TM) [ch 8-12]

These also happen at the same time, but are completely different scenes. Reading the section from one fic, then reading the section from the next would work perfectly fine. But, lining things up with the stories timeline the 'correct' chronological order is this: -> 32, 8-10, 33-38, 11+12

HO(TM) [ch 13-18]

i call this arc 'the boys are pouting.' basically the whole time Tim and Kon are dealing with their shit(tm), Wally and Dick are being very gay off panel. Dont worry though! we'll get back to them shortly. You could read this arc exactly as it's posted (it alternates between Tim's pov & Kon's) but they are full side plots on their own, so you could read them like this: Tim -> 13, 15, 18 Kon -> 14, 16, 17 This is me being nit-picky at this point, but I'm just writing this all down for the sake of having it all written down.

D(WAM) [ch 39-41]

See! What'd i tell ya

D(WAM) [ch 42-44] | HO(TM) [ch 19-22]

timkon real, not clickbait (42 | 19), (43 | 20), (44 | 21), 22

D(WAM) [ch 45-48] HO(TM) [ch 23-25]

and that is the conclusion to Part One

[branmuffins22]

Moots said they wanna hear about WIPs and I feel like I gotta get this brainrot out anyways so HERE I GO

I've only got three projects I'm actively working on right now, all of which are Owl House fanfics, although I've got ideas here and there for other things (video games I might've made if I weren't so burnt out, ttrpg characters that might need their own goddamn settings and stories to themselves, a Code Lyoko fanfic, music (mostly loads of disconnected song lyrics), 3D avatars, etc).

The Owl House fanfics in question are three(-ish?) fold:

Theseus Who?, a mostly-canon-compliant 5+1 post-titanification headcanon compilation that DOESN'T just let Luz keep her titan form (mostly it's just a bunch of changes along the lines of when Hunter's eyes changed color after Flapjack saved him). - It's actually sort of a tie-in to another, bigger fic I'm writing that's gonna be point 2, so you can assume anything mentioned in this one will happen throughout the timeline of the next one as well. - I've currently already got the 5 written, so now I just need to buckle down and finish the +1, unless I decide to do another sweep of edits (I think the excessive parentheticals might be too excessive). - - I only started it like a week ago, and I've been waiting for motivation to strike again to let me finish it for like half that time.

Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas, a mostly-canon-compliant sorta-multimedia veesha longfic based on the dramatic irony of Masha slowly driving themself nuts trying to piece together what the Deal is with Luz, Vee, and the rest of the Nocedas. - by "sorta-multimedia" i mean its got plaintext segments describing the story, journal segments of Masha recounting events as they remember them and trying to organize their thoughts, chat segments when the characters interact over text, and possibly more if I feel the Need. - I've only outlined the three prologue chapters and the following intermission, only have snippets and vague ideas for scenes for the main bulk of the fic itself, and have only actually written two of the prologue chapters and the intermission. - - won't start posting it until I at least get the third prologue chapter done, so I've got a usable buffer. Hopefully that'll be sooner rather than later.

The Overthinker AU (or "The Artificer AU"? name is also very much a work in progress), a canon rewrite that I think I'll actually split into a bunch of shorter "episodes", so I can appropriately tag each one, rather than tagging one monolithic fic with Everything Under The Sun. The basic premise is "what if The Owl House, but there's more time", both in the meta sense of "not bound by the 20-minute TV episode format" and the diegetic sense of "the broad-strokes plot of the show will happen over a longer in-universe period of time" (though I'm a bit stuck on just how much more time I want to give em). - for the most part, I wanted to put more emphasis on Luz's magical development, and extrapolate a somewhat wider magic system out of what we see in the show, but I also want to go into more detail on how her actions affect those around her, even outside of all the friends she makes (stuff along the lines of the little things the crowd mentioned while protesting Eda's petrification at the end of season 1). - I'm almost (reluctantly) thinking of pulling a Grapes of Wrath with it, structure-wise, by having main plot/character development chapters alternate with shorter intermissions focused on magical exploration, worldbuilding, and so on. - this project is currently just the scribblings of a madwoman in my private discord server and three wildly unfinished fics in my google docs folder - - one of these fics is Something Like a Bible, which is essentially a condensed version of the entire broader project, boiled down to bare plot and occasional commentary. Like a series outline and a plot synopsis rolled into one, though perhaps not quite the series bible it claims to be. - - - honestly I REALLY aughtta work on this one some more, just so I can get most of the Big Ideas out of my head and share them with people. - - the other two fics are currently untitled snippets of scenes from the project, one a sentimental/instructional note from Eda to Luz, and the other sort of a ragefic twist on the ending of Thanks to Them. - this project is gonna include tons of ideas from and allusions to other fics which inspired it/me, such as The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled by IdeaHunter, All that's at Stake by The_Lampman, and Decorative by TheTokenAro, to name a few. - I could make a whole post about this project on its own (and in fact, I have before), talking about all the little changes I'd make, the developments I'd include, the more sweeping changes, the additional themes I'd toss in, and so on, but there are some I REALLY don't think fit well into the "rambling tumblr post" format (and/or just don't want to spoil yet), so I shall Abstain (for now :P).

[rise-tmnt-fan]

Okay I haven’t updated Jack crap as of recently (I mean two weeks isn’t much but it’s a lot to me and my adhd brain as of right now.

Why haven’t I posted anything well… I decided because I was editing Chapter 6 of my fanfic that I should do some art for each of the chapters. Because if it’s going to be a month late it should have something that shows that I wasn’t just procrastinating I was doing something for the fanfic as well.

Now I have 4 WIPS for that. 2 finished chapter arts.

4 Unfinished WIPS for different rottmnt AUS. And to show that I am doing something you guys get to see the WIPS AND THE FINISHED art. (Yes I have gotten better hence why it’s taking me so long to get the art the way I want to present it. Because I’ll get to the point where I’m like. OMG I LOVE THIS- and feel as if I have done everything in my power to make it look pretty then get just a little better with lighting or background or make the characters themselves look just a little bit better and I’ll repeat the cycle. 😂🤣

Here’s the art and the date it was last edited and if it’s finished or not.

Where’d The Time Go

Leo’s Character Sheet (aka the first piece of digital art I made and was proud of)

Finished?- 04/17/2023

15 hours of work

Where’d the Time Go- Comic Title page (still dunno if I will complete this one) -

Unfinished- 04/25/2023

34 hours of work

*So for this next one I was really just bored and thought of about doing a separated AU/Angsty art for fun. Coincidentally this did inspire the last unfinished/current WIP piece you will see so I will call this-

I didn’t have a clue what I was doing and just decided that I was going to draw whatever thing came to my mind first because I couldn’t fall asleep. 👍🏼

Unfinished- 04/18/2023

6 hours of work

Yes before anyone says anything- I didn’t do the chapter art in order because as soon as I try to make myself follow something my brain very defiantly laughs at me and will make me do something entire different. So whatever I feel interested in at the time will be the piece I work on. Hence why I have so many WIPS.

Please Save Me- Fanfic/Chapter Art

Chapter 1- Donnie’s Chapter Art

Unfinished- 05/01/2023

15 hours of work (so far)

Chapter 2- Raphs Chapter Art

Unfinished (truthfully this is just the base I drew nothing real special has been added on as of now)

04/26/2023

15 Minutes of work

Chapter 3- Casey Jones JR. Chapter Art

Unfinished- Again it’s the base that I drew kind of quick every piece I have done (except maybe the first one) had bases and a idea that I would use before going and doing the sketching/line work. Or anything fancy. So… yeah.

04/26/2023

10 minutes of work.

Chapter 4- Mikey’s Chapter Art

Finished?- Might redo it later but for now I love how it has turned out!

04/30/2023

6 hours of work.

Chapter 5- Leo’s Chapter Art

I worked on this for about six hours then I made a fatal error and deleted it, and while I absolutely adore IBIS Paint I have found out that I cannot recover what has been deleted as I am not a pro member. 😂🤣

Chapter 6- Donnie’s Chapter Art

Finished- Might redo this one as well but as my second finished piece I was super proud of it!

04/28/2023

12 hours of work

Okay so this next one is an AU I will definitely be dropping as I have officially started hyperfixating on it and the story!

This is a separated A.U. Where the EPF knew about the Yokai/Aliens when the turtles were created. They have located and captured many specimens to better know about these newfound species.

That’s all I’m really going to say for now. Since when I finish this overall art I’m going to release it, some character sheets, and a little of the plot!

Unfinished - 05/01/2023 - Was actually working on it till now.

4 hours of work!

[princesscolumbia]

And on today's episode of "I was today years old when I found out that not everyone does it that way..."

I have been writing with varying degrees of productivity and mostly been really trial-and-error with what makes me a good writer. Sometime last November (more like late-October, but I only really noticed in November), some bit flipped and now I can just sit down and write, every day, whenever I want, for hours at a stretch sometimes.

I have, in fact, gotten to the point where I need to consciously NOT choose to write on days when I'm low on spoons or I'll burn myself out...again.

I kinda knew it was a bit exceptional when I had wrapped up what, in my mind, was the starting section, the first establishing story arc, of a novel...or at least it's one novel in my head. I threw the whole blob of text for the establishment of my setting, what makes this variant universe of the setting in which my fanfic is based unique, and I popped in an author's note saying, "Okay, setup's done."

My first comment was the following, single-line reply:

This was all SETUP?

And that made me realize that most novels usually don't take 45k words for the setup.

It also made me realize that I'd powered through an entire novel's worth of writing in around a month...right on the heels of another 110k+ word novel that I'd written in the course of about 2 months, right after I'd body-slammed the NaNoWriMo word-count in November and blew right past it with four short stories and an update to a WIP.

I currently have a word-count daily goal of 1,400 words...and I often rocket right past that without noticing. I have to intentionally take days off for my mental health and physical well-being or I will write.

I don't know what caused this, I don't know why I do it, I am very aware there are many authors out there that are insanely jealous of my ability and I've been asked for the secret sauce a dozen times, and I just haven't really known what to tell people...until reading this post and realizing that this is just the stuff that I do and I thought every author did it.

So without further ado, minor supplemental commentary of my take on the prev author's advice, with the assurance that everything they said is 100% correct and at this point I'm just gilding the lily:

1. Writing nonlinearly

Seriously, if you have ADHD and are pushing yourself to write linearly, stop. For 3 of the last five completed projects I did I had something like an epilogue or novel climax already written before I'd finished writing chapter 3. Yes, you may have an idea how you want a fic to go and you'll be conscious about making sure your writing gets there, but nothing helps an ADHD brain like a target to hyperfixate on.

1.a - Jump around! Jump around! Jump up, jump up and get down!

Now that I've shown my age; if you have ADHD (and maybe if you don't, not like I've never not been ADHD so I wouldn't know), your brain doesn't work linearly at all and you're only fighting yourself if you try not to follow the dopamine.

On my current WIP, I jammed through chapters 14 through 19 all in a row...then suddenly had a yen to do some text for the tentatively numbered chapter 25. I hammered out a daily-goal's worth of scene chewing (currently available as a sneak peak to all tiers, even free, on my Patreon /shameless_plug). I then bounced back to do ch. 20 before my brain locked in on exactly how I wanted to write the climax of the entire book and that took me all the way to the end (but before the epilogia). I'm not back to chapter 21 and practically pouring the words out from the full pitcher that is my brain because I allowed it to fill with content at the pace it works best at.

2. Rereading my own work

Of course I re-read my own stuff! I'm the only one who knows exactly what I want to read! 😋 Quite seriously, I have gone back to reading stuff I wrote, like, 10 or even 20 years ago because my brain is saying that's where it wants to be...and it turns out that was just what was causing me to not be able to write. Whether I just needed to take a break, needed to revisit a headspace, or I wrote something that reminded me of something else and I wanted to write it again, I've learned to let my brain lead me in the direction it needs to go.

3. Marinating in the headspace of the story

OP is probably right that this isn't a necessary thing for your writing. Heaven knows I've got a day job and can't just stew in my headspace for my fics all the time. But one thing that cannot be denied is sometimes it's hard to get back into the right headspace, and for me the solution turned out to be; playlists.

This is the playlist for my current WIP. Obviously, at a 2+ hour runtime, what you see above isn't the entire list. That list constitutes, however, all the music that I have, in whatever fashion, mentally associated with the headspace for Code of Ethics. I've done this for every WIP I have for nearly 20 years, and even if I decided to go back to one of those early, early fics that I haven't touched since before Trump was elected, all I need to do is dig up the playlist for it (even if that means re-launching iTunes for the first time in over a year) and hitting "play" and I'm back in that headspace.

Going to tag on one more thing that works for me 99% of the time:

4. Read OTHER PEOPLE'S work!

I write because I was inspired to write. There's other ways to tell the stories I want to tell and be creative and be good at it. I chose writing because other people wrote stuff that 'spoke' to me. Fission came about because I had some ideas that I knew could work because @burgerbecky had already done similar stuff with her writing. I knew Deviation was a thing that could be successful because I'd read plenty of Omegaverse fics. Double Isekai was going to be written by someone and so I figured I might as well get in there first because I'd already read DOZENS of isekai fics. And Code of Ethics came out of, "Okay, but what about...?" while I was reading QuietValerie's Troubleverse. Whatever inspired you to write, sometimes you just gotta go back in and read it again, read the sequel, read more of whatever it was that got you into writing so you remember, "...oh yeah, that's why I write!"

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[screadingchallenge]

Behind the Keyboard Volume 17

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.  

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Let’s meet our next author:

@im-televisions-moira-rose​ /  Imtelevisionsmoirarose

On AO3, I’m Imtelevisionsmoirarose, but I also nabbed the pseudo DefinitelyNotNo after Dan’s insta comment on Noah’s Outer Range headshot because I thought it was too perfect. On tumblr, I have hyphens, so my fic account is im-televisions-moira-rose.tumblr.com but I’ve had tumblr for approximately 150 million years because I am an old, so my main account is theangelshare.tumblr.com. My main is truly a snapshot of the last decade plus of my mental health so…hold onto your butts if you go there.

How many fics have you written? 

According to AO3, I have 19 published works. There are plenty of things I’ve been thinking about writing and a few in particular that I very much plan to write once I sort out my personal emotional state and general stability (haha).

When did you publish your first fic on AO3? 

I published my first fic on February 1, 2021, so well after the end of the show, when I was deep in my grieving process for it. What a time.

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3. 

Honestly, it depends on the idea and how it materialises. There are fics I plan to write based on the plot of the show (as in my Coming Together series), but a lot of my organic stuff canon-adjacent, postcanon or AU stuff, especially Commonplace Book entries, is written based on a single line or a scene/character interaction or emotion that just randomly pops into my head. When that happens, I try to imagine a bigger context, but also start writing from that scene to get a feel for where the fic is going/could go. Also, with the Commonplace Book series, I do a lot of poetry reading/inspiration sourcing independently of my fic writing and sometimes I read a poem or snippet of prose and it speaks immediately to me/to a character and then just takes on a life of its own. I enjoy the Commonplace series because it really allows me to play with my own writing style. Once I feel like a fic is in a good spot, I generally run it by my beta, AyaRose, as well as my Person, ZhampagneDreams, both for grammatical and thematic/flow perspectives. Once tweaks have been made and poor Aya corrects my plethora of dialogue errors, I generally create the draft in AO3, write the summary and add notes and tags, edit and preview/reread the fic approximately 150 thousand times, and then finally publish. 

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

My most recent fic is Like Air which I wrote as a birthday gift for DesignatedGrape, an absolutely wonderful person and writer. The idea for this fic was in my head for a long time, so when I finally sat down to write it, the entire thing came easily, which is not usually how things go for me. To be fair, I also broke down the entire plan for it granularly over brunch with Zhampagne after seeing The Minutes, which is also not how things usually go for me (tragically). I’m very content with the final result. The last few fics I’ve written have actually been fics that were in my head since I began writing fic in general, and I feel like when I give those ideas time to steep, they come out in a more fully fledged way than brand new ideas that I haven’t subconsciously ruminated on.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

When I wrote my first fic, I almost didn’t publish it because I was too self-conscious and scared of how it would be received, but doing it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made because it brought such a great community into my life and introduced me to some of my favorite people. I would say my biggest advice is to make sure you’re publishing it for yourself first. It can be tough when fics I write don’t get high engagement, especially when they’re important to me, but I always remind myself that I’m writing for me first and foremost, and that always helps to readjust my expectations. Also, my writing has gotten a lot stronger over the last year and a half because I’ve been doing it pretty consistently. The only way to get better at something is to keep doing it! 

Tell me about a fic you’ve read that always makes you cry?

So I have no soul and can’t remember the last time I cried reading something, but I will say there are plenty of fics out there that make me FEEEEEEEEEL things and I am nothing if not a HUGE angst lover. There are The Big Ones like happy golden days of yore (which might be my fav fic) and the instant classic You Can Fall but I’d love to pinpoint a really unique one that I feel like deals a lot with the tenderness of a new relationship that I still think about very often—Hook, Line, and Sinker, from likerealpeopledo. It’s hilarious, on-character, and insanely poignant for being about fishing. Patrick’s vulnerability makes me want to curl up and die in a good way. Please read it. It’s so sweet and so good. Like all of likerealpeopledo’s work, to be fair.

What’s the best advice anyone has ever given you about writing?

The best advice I’ve gotten is to write what you know! A lot of my head-canons for our beloved cast of characters come from my personal experience and personal life. When you write from life, it always feels more authentic and relatable. Everything Takes Time (Bees) was written using the knowledge/experience I have from my family’s years of beekeeping and I wrote family Christmas traditions into For What Binds Us. My headcanon for David’s hangover cure is actually just my hangover cure. I’ve also found that adapting these parts of myself helps me connect with the character I’m writing and puts me in their head too, which is an invaluable place to be.

Outlines - yes or no?

If the fic is long enough to require them, yes. Z has helped me put together an absolutely phenomenal outline for my one-day longfic AU that I think will be perfect when I start to dig in and really write. It sort of highlights the specific interactions and main things to accomplish in each chapter of the fic, without being too prescriptive. I don’t like an outline that’s too limiting or too granular because I think it lets the story breathe and develop organically.

In your mind, what’s the most important element of good writing?

Hi hello I don’t understand punctuation around dialogue and I don’t care to. Sorry, Aya 😬

It really goes back to writing what you know and love. Not only does it help the reader connect with the piece on a personal level, it also helps you connect with the reader; when you write parts of yourself into something, it shows. Don’t write about things you’re not passionate about or don’t know about or haven’t researched—it’s so much richer to use your experiences to inform subtleties of your fics. ALSO, the delicate balance of giving enough information for the reader to imagine the scene without overloading them with adjectives and specific positioning. Leaving it open to individual interpretation while still giving the reader a frame of reference to base their visualizations on is tricky! Oh, and last but not least—reach out to other writers/authors who you admire. The worst that can happen is they don’t respond, but it’s also such a great way to grow a community and improve your own art!

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

[lin-nin]

Tribulation & Tenderness - Chapter 13

Ship: Main Technoblade x Reader, some Dream x Reader Plot: You're a princess in a Kingdom suffering a years long famine. In a     desperate attempt to help your people, you accept one simple offer: Marriage to the crown prince of a neighboring kingdom. Anything to help your people survive. Surely it can't be too bad, can it? Chapter List: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Disclaimer:   Cross-posted on Wattpad (discontinued) and Ao3. This is based off of everyone's CHARACTERS. I do not write fanfic based off the actual people.

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Chapter 13: Until My Heart Stops Beating

< | Previous Chapter

The rest of the day prior to your wedding was spent in partial tension. You never found out what the favor Techno had called for was exactly, but you didn’t mind. Truthfully, you were increasingly more focused on your wedding. It was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time, and you practically had to force yourself to sleep that night. You awoke far earlier than normal because of it, moving around your room anxiously.

You eventually lowered yourself into your bath, taking care to make sure you were clean. You let the steam from the water curl around you, sighing and trying your best to relax. Thinking about today caused your stomach to erupt in butterflies and a smile to spread across your face. You truly hoped today went well. Eventually you stood up, stepping out of the tub and sliding into a shift.

There was a soft knock on your door after a few moments of you just sitting, and you called whoever it was in. Eret slid into the room, offering you a smile. A bundle of white fabric sat in his arms, and a few servants followed behind him with various things. “Good morning to our bride,” He practically cooed, motioning towards a servant to the table between chairs. She followed, setting down a tray where he pointed. She hurriedly bowed, leaving the room soon after. You watched Eret settle the fabric onto your bed, the remaining servants following in setting down boxes of other stuff. He sent them off, before turning to you.

“Morning Eret,” You murmured, returning his earlier smile. He seemed content, motioning towards the tray of food.

“Go ahead and eat, we’ll start with your hair. Are you nervous?” You reached for the cup of tea, bringing it to your lips and adjusting yourself so Eret had access to your hair.

“Very. Also excited, but I imagine it’s to be expected,” You managed to explain, letting Eret run a brush through your hair. You took your time with the food, enjoying the way Eret tended to your appearance. You didn’t normally allow yourself to get pampered like this, so you wouldn’t mind doing it this once. 

“I imagine so. It’ll all go fine, though. It’ll probably go by better than you expect.” He made sure your hair was laying perfectly, humming under his breath as he did.

“Hopefully it goes smoothly, I do have some concerns though,” You sighed out the words, thinking about Dream. You hoped he would behave, truly. You would be extremely upset if he didn’t.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Eret reassured. You watched him move towards the fabric on the bed, peering at the lace he picked up. The veil. Your stomach erupted into nervous butterflies at the sight of it, examining delicate lace as he brought it over. The edges were thorned vines, leaves of white lace lying beneath light blue ribbon roses. You marveled it as he brought it close, unable to help your smile.

“You really outdid yourself,” You couldn’t stop the praise from leaving your mouth, reaching out to run your fingers along it.

“Just wait until you see the full dress. Turn your head.” You did as he instructed, turning away from him so he could start setting the pins of the veil into your hair. The lace tickled your shoulders, but you did your best to keep still. He softly grasped your shoulders once he was finished, giving them a squeeze. You turned to look at him, and he smiled at you. He disappeared to the bed once more, rustling through the boxes and bringing one over. You peered into it curiously, eyeing the roses inside. They were fresh, white ones from the garden. You laughed softly, turning to face him so he could situate them in your hair.

Eret lined them up along the edge of your veil, making sure they sat perfectly in your hair. The pins would be a pain to take out later tonight, but you didn’t entirely mind it right now. “Are you finished eating?” He questioned once he finished, moving to grab another box before you replied. You nodded when he returned, watching him pull out kohl from the box.

You instinctively closed your eyes, letting him line them with the makeup without question. He softly murmured when you were good to open them. He took his time applying a stain to your cheeks and lips, stepping back to examine his work. He sighed softly, smiling at you. “You’re going to be a vision,” He murmured, making your cheeks flush.

“You think so?” You questioned, acutely aware of the fluttering of your stomach.

“I know so. Come on, let’s get you in your dress.” He motioned you to stand up, and you did so on shaking legs. The anxiety regarding your marriage was starting to leak through now, and you couldn’t hide it. Eret offered you a reassuring look, sorting through the bundles of fabric settled on your bed. He grabbed one of sections of fabric, holding it out to you. You examined it, easily identifying the petticoat and slipping it on over your shift.

Next he moved towards you, holding out another section of fabric. The actual dress. The sleeves were made of tulle, a light blue in color, flaring out away from ribbon roses at the elbows made to match the ones on your veil. The base of the dress was simple. White, with a deep scooping neckline. He helped guide it over your head, situating it around your shift. You couldn’t help but watch as he adjusted the tulle on the skirt. Ribbon Roses decorated the scalloped edges of the tulle, exposing the white skirt beneath. 

The stay was next, matching the dress with the white fabric embroidered delicately with blue roses. Eret’s brows were furrowed as he meticulously tightened the ribbons on it, making sure it sat perfectly. Once he had, he stepped back to examine you with a soft sigh. You flushed a little beneath the appraising gaze. He moved around again, grabbing a simple pair of shoes and stooping to slide them onto your feet. Moving in the dress almost felt weird, despite it not being too different in make than your most formal dresses. Perhaps it felt heavy with the meaning.

“One last touch,” Eret said, moving towards the final box on the bed. You had given him the earrings Techno gave you, as well as the necklace from Dream, for him to keep a hold of until today. You knew that was what sat within the box, watching him gingerly pick up the necklace to drape it around your neck. He tilted your head, sliding in the earrings and stepping back to give you a full look over.

“Oh, you’re gonna be the envy of so many,” He praised, and you shifted almost self consciously. The fact that you were wearing this dress caused you to fidget nervously.

“It doesn’t feel real,” You murmured, shifting around to search out the mirror you had. The rustling of your skirts felt loud in your ears, eyes roving over your appearance. It felt like something from a book, something so etherally unreal. 

“It is, I promise. I’ll go get your brother,” He whispered, stepping towards the door. You watched him, before turning your eyes back to your reflection. What would today hold for you? The ceremony was straight forward, but the celebration itself felt so unsure. Anything could happen.

A soft knock resounded at your door, causing you to turn once more. George pushed open the door, carefully shutting it behind him. He stared at you for several long moments, seeming at a loss for words. It was probably weird, seeing you about to be married.

“It’s so hard to believe you’re my baby sister,” He practically echoed your thoughts, walking towards you. You laughed softly, nodding along.

“I guess I’m really not a baby anymore, am I?” You questioned, watching as he placed his hands on your shoulders. You leaned ever so slightly into the touch, a smile tugging your lips.

“No. Are you sure you still want this?” He watched you closely, looking for any change in your expression.

“Of course. Techno is kind, and his family is enjoyable. I have easily found friends here, and I know I can just as easily make a happy life. I will always miss you and Dream, but we’ll all move on.” You gently grabbed one of his hands, squeezing it tightly. George smiled, seeming almost sad.

“The castle won’t ever be the same. You’ve grown up so much.” He returned the squeeze, and you could only nod. You did yearn for the ease you felt of your teenage years in the castle. The lack of responsibilities you had felt, being able to run around and goof off with Dream. However you felt more freedom now than you had there. It was a new feeling, but a welcome one.

“I’ll miss some parts of it, but I’m excited for my future here. Everyone is so kind,” You constantly reassured him, letting him move you away from the mirror.

“Eret said he was going to check on Technoblade, but he’d tell us when everything was ready. Are you ready for this?” He settled into one of the chairs, pulling you into the one beside him.

“As ready as I can be. I’m nervous. There’s a lot happening today,” You folded your hands in your lap, legs bouncing.

“I can imagine. You put a lot of work into planning this, didn’t you?” You sat up straight, having problems trying to relax. The nerves were unbearable.

“Sort of, I just had input. Eret handled a lot of the main plans. Him, Wilbur, and Nihachu deserve more credit than I do.” You could hardly take any of the responsibility. You didn’t put in much actual work, just feedback. 

“Still, it’s not everyday you get married. Everything will go fine,” George reassured, giving you a smile. Truly, you didn’t know what you would do without him. Probably fall apart, you imagined. The two of you chattered softly as you waited, George attempting to keep your nerves soothed. It wasn’t too long before there was a knock at the door, Eret popping his head in.

“Everything’s ready now. Are you ready?” His voice was gentle, and you offered a soft smile. 

“As ready as I can be,” You sighed, standing up. George followed, lingering right beside you.

“You know where to go, right? I’ll go ahead and wait there, give the two of you a few more moments,” Eret spoke softly, as if anything louder would break the calmness. You appreciated it, whispering your thanks as he left. George turned to you, taking your hands in his.

“The wedding will go wonderfully, I know it. Mom and Dad send their best wishes. It’s hard to believe my baby sister is all grown up and getting married now.” The way he spoke and squeezed your hands had tears springing to your eyes. They threatened to spill as he pulled you in for a hug, kissing your forehead. You carefully laid your head against his shoulder, clinging to him.

“I’m really going to miss our garden walks,” you whispered, and he nodded.

“I will too. Don’t keep them waiting, though. I don’t want your husband to come looking for you.” George finally pulled away from you, leading you towards the door to your room. You followed, taking a deep breath. Silence lapsed between the pair of you as you wandered down the hallway and stairs. You were led through the courtyard, towards the garden. Nerves pooled in your stomach, and you hoped it didn’t show.

George gripped your hand in reassurance, walking with you down the path. Eyes were on you, and you were very aware of it. Among those eyes, though, were Techno’s. At the other end of the aisle. Hands folded in front of him, a pale cape fastened around his shoulders. A blue sash was tied around his waist, similar in color to the blue accents on your dress. The emerald rose brooch sat against the stark white of his shirt, clearly visible from the other end. The black prongs of his crown stood tall, a heavy contrast to the pink locks fanned around it. His braid was ornamented with gold chains, jewels interspersed within the chains.

In short, he was definitely a regal sight standing there. You were reluctant to let go of George’s hand in exchange for Techno’s, yet did all the same. You briefly watched your brother move away, taking a spot beside Dream. You watched your friend for a few moments, shifting beneath his gaze. His gaze was dark, and he offered you a smile. You supposed it was meant to be encouraging, but it never quite reached his eyes. You didn’t care to think too much on it, attention focusing back in on Techno.

He was staring down at you, a soft look in his brown eyes. That helped quell the nerves in your chest, and you offered him a smile as soft as the look he gave you. A moment of peace, almost to yourselves, as the Officiant was droning on beside the two of you.

“...to unite two separate souls into that of one. This braid of ribbon will signify their unity and bind them together, from now until eternity.” The man lifted a thick braid of ribbon, made of three colors: red, white, and black. Small vines of flowers were interwoven with it, and it was certainly pretty. Techno kept one hand with yours, the other taking one end of the ribbon braid from the wrinkled hand holding it out to him.

“Do you swear, on all that you hold dear, that you will protect this woman with your entire being? That you will give her everything you have, in wealth and love?” He rattled as Techno began gingerly weaving the braid around your joined hands. It caused butterflies to stir in your stomach, just watching it. His eyebrows were even knitted together in concentration, the very tip of his tongue peaking out of his mouth. 

“I swear on it all, that I will care for her until I draw my last breath.” There was a warmth to his voice that had your cheeks flushing, a smile tugging the corners of your lips up further. You carefully took the braid from him when prompted, weaving it around your hands as well.

“Do you swear, to all you hold close, that you will support this man with your entirety? That through everything, injury and health, sickness and wealth, you will stay by his side?” You finished weaving the braid as he spoke, the two ends hanging loose beneath your hands.

“I swear it. I’ll be by his side until my heart stops beating.” Your voice rang clear, and the officiant seemed content with it.

“Then I will tie the loose ends of this braid. This represents the joining of your two wayward souls joining together to be one. In the presence of the sky and the earth, the trials of water and fire, you will forever be one. Even beyond mortality, you will always be with one another, through this life and the next.” As he spoke, he very carefully grasped the ends of the braid. They were tied together, locking their hands in a grasp. You couldn’t help the grin that split your face at that, turning to look up at Techno.

He offered you a soft smile, taking a step closer to you and carefully gripping your chin with his thumb and forefinger. Your stomach practically exploded into nervous butterflies. The kiss. You had forgotten the kiss. He leaned down, lips pressing to yours firmly. It was just a kiss of obligation, a part of the ceremony, but it had heat crawling over your cheeks and down your neck. He lingered, fingers gently squeezing yours. You couldn’t help but respond to the squeeze, stepping a little closer to him.

He was pulling back after a few heartbeats, smiling at you once more and turning towards the people. You couldn’t help the squeak that escaped you as he held up your bound hands, causing a few of them to cheer. Part of you wanted to hide, but you simply stuck as close to Techno’s side as you could.

“Let’s party!!” Tommy’s voice rang out from the crowd. He was clearly exhausted with all the ceremonial things, though you weren’t entirely sure you blamed him. Weddings weren’t too exciting, though your nerves would beg to differ. You felt like a frazzled mess on the inside, and you still had an entire day to go.

You and Techno stood back, watching the crowd filter towards the ball room. You glanced to the ribbon binding your hands, acutely aware of the feeling of Techno's fingers slotted between yours. You supposed that you were giving the boys time to set up for the first dance. You just accepted the silence, practically leaning against your husband.

"After the dance we'll be able to take the ribbon off. You won’t be tied to me all day." Amusement laced his voice, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

"It's not all bad. A little inconvenient, but all in all it's fine." You looked up to him with a smile, which he returned. Your free hand moved, toying with the ends of the ribbon. The pair of you only stood there for a little longer before you heard Tommy shouting for the pair of you to hurry up. You couldn’t help but laugh. Did he ever stop having energy? You followed Techno along the path winding through the garden, the soft chatter from the ballroom floating over the veranda.

"You did it, Big Man! You're a married man!" Tommy cheered when the pair of you walked in, slinging an arm around both of your shoulders. "Now that this is my sister-in-law," the way he said it, reeling you close to him with a shit eating grin told you this was going to be entertaining, "I can fight her now, right?"

A loud laugh bubbled past your lips at the antics, watching Techno huff and swat at his brother with his free hand. "We'll see." This seemed to be enough to placate Tommy for the time being, sending him scurrying off towards where Tubbo and Wilbur were messing with the instruments in the corner. You watched the blond pester his brother and best friend, a fond smile on your face. He was quite excitable about this all, but it's not like the pair of you had been complete strangers over the past few weeks.

Besides your common training with Techno, you would often spend time sneaking about the castle with Tommy and Tubbo, quietly helping them with all sorts of trouble that they got into. Not to mention the time you spent in the libraries by yourself, or the gardens with Eret. While in the library there were times Wilbur or Philza would visit you. You never minded it, though. Their silent companionship was warm and comfortable. Yet Techno always seemed to hesitate when it came to letting you train with his family. Surely they couldn’t be worse than him- or better, you supposed.

“Spare a coin for your thoughts?” Techno pulled you from your musings of his family, your gaze moving to him instead. You only spared a glance to the others before fully focusing on Techno.

“Just thinking about your family. How you’ve never let me really train with them. Only letting them watch. Is there a certain reason?” Your voice was soft, not willing anyone to hear your words. He paused any movement, seeming to clearly think over the answer. Or perhaps how to best frame it. You weren’t sure why he was thinking so hard, but you could practically see the wheels turning as he did.

“Tommy is reckless. Tubbo is… alright with fighting, a bit clumsy but enthusiastic. Philza is a much higher combat level than I would want you to fight just yet. As for Wilbur…” He trailed off, practically staring off behind your head. You turned, following his gaze to his older brother. The brown-haired prince was toying with the instrument, muttering to Tubbo before looking at Techno with a grin. He gave a thumbs up, and you could see Techno incline his head in a subtle nod before turning to you. “Well, Wilbur is encouraging us to dance.”

If you squinted, you swore you could see the faintest trace of pink on Techno’s cheeks. However you didn’t care to squint too hard, simply positioning the pair of you to dance. He squeezed your still joined hands, other hand hovering momentarily over the middle of your back before settling. Almost as if he had been unsure of the action. Once the two of you had settled comfortably into the position, the soft strings of Wilbur’s instrument filled the room, paired with the gentle notes from Tubbo at the piano. You were half focused on the music, partially focused on your husband. He pulled you along the floor effortlessly, spinning you with a practiced elegance you should have been expecting.

“Why not Wilbur?” You prodded again, only when you had fallen in line with the music as well as Techno. A soft sigh passed his lips as he gazed at you, eyes darting around to the people who were watching you.

“It’s complicated. Best we don’t go into it now.” His tone left no room for argument, a voice he rarely used with you- only when the pair of you trained. You responded with your own sigh, a little disappointed. You supposed you understood, but that didn’t make you any less curious. What was it that made Techno not want you to train with Wilbur?

“Later, then.” You were a little reluctant to agree. You trusted him to tell you whatever it was later. You would be rather upset if he didn’t. The two of you lapsed into silence as you danced. You were so acutely aware of many things. The gazes on you. The pressure of the ribbon braid on your hand. The feel of Techno’s hand on your back. The way you caught Dream’s dark gaze whenever he was in your line of sight. It was a lot, and truly you weren’t sure what to make out of it all.

It felt almost as soon as the dance and music had started, it was ending. Applause poured around you and you fidgeted. You were used to attention, but the attention you were receiving at your wedding was not something you could have ever prepared yourself for. Techno pulled away from you some, almost awkwardly, before reaching for the ribbon. “Why don’t we get this off and you can go dance with your brother. He looks restless.” You turned to look at George, who did in fact appear to be restless. He was shifting, eyes on the pair of you. You offered up a smile, holding up a finger to tell him you would be a moment.

The ribbon peeled from your hands after a few moments. Techno gingerly folded it, tucking it into his pocket. You smiled at him as well, rubbing your hand from where the ribbon had pressed into it. “Go, I’ll play a song. Since I’m required to.” He didn’t necessarily sound happy and you could only laugh.

“Alright. I’ll see you when I get a break. I know everyone is going to want to dance.” You slipped away from Techno to instead make way to George, grinning at him.

“Don’t look so nervous,” You teased, nudging him. He gave a shaking laugh.

“I can’t help it. There’s something almost tense about this whole thing. It feels so formal.” You understood what he meant. You knew marriages in Kinoko were different to this. They were more casual, even for royal families.

“It is strange. Almost overwhelming, isn’t it?” George had nodded in response. “Well then, Crown Prince Nofton,” you began to tease, a lopsided grin on your face. A reminder that you still were, in a way, his little sister he grew up with. “Are you going to keep me waiting?” You held out a hand, arching an eyebrow at him.

“My apologies, Crown Princess Minraelas. Would you honor me, your dearest brother, with a dance on your wedding day?” He bowed dramatically, grin matching your own. His tone was lofty, poking subtle fun at the way the courts of larger countries held themselves. You simply giggled as he took your hand, gently holding it and your shoulder with his other. “It even seems your husband will be playing a song for us.” He was struggling to contain his laughter, and you were barely managing.

The low sound of a violin drifted into the room, causing your head to turn to look at Techno. His eyes were closed as he ran the bow along the strings of the instrument, fingers moving against frets with clear familiarity. For all the resistance he had put up to playing the song, he seemed at peace with it now. You smiled, attention turning back to your brother as he pulled you into the throng of dancing people. "So it would seem," you concluded, letting the pair of you spin gently together as violin notes filled the air.

"You'll still write, won't you?" George had asked again, and you simply laughed softly.

"Always. I promise I'll tell you if I'm ever put into danger." You offered him a reassuring smile and he simply nodded. He seemed content enough, and you knew he had to be. He really was watching you grow up, wasn't he?

"If you don't write, I'm sending our entire army to rescue you." His lips quirked, a breathless laugh escaping him. You couldn't help but laugh as well.

"What makes you think I couldn't hold my own? I'm learning to fight now!" You declared, puffing your chest out just slightly. This elicited another laugh from your brother.

"No offense, but Technoblade handed you your ass. I think you might need the help of an army." You pouted at this, nose wrinkling just a little.

"Well, I doubt it'll ever come to the point of me having to truly fight."  You waved it off, shooting him a smile. “I’m well taken care of here. They like me.” You twisted, looking over to where Tubbo was speaking to Tommy. The brunet caught your gaze, brightening and offering you a cheerful wave. You lifted your hand briefly from George’s, returning the wave. Your attention returned to your brother, who simply smiled gently.

“I can tell. I just worry about you being where I can’t see you.” His voice was gentle, hand once more grasping your own. Your gaze softened slightly, head shaking just a little.

“I’m not a little girl anymore, Gogy. I swear to you, I’ll be fine. Happy. Free.” The childhood nickname had rolled off of your tongue with familiarity. A sign of how genuine you were. No formalities. Just two siblings.

He had sighed in response, hugging you tight for a moment. “I know. It’s hard to not see you as one.” You could reluctantly accept that, returning the hug. “I suppose I can’t keep your company for myself. Go, dance with Dream. He probably wants to.”

The words brought your attention to the blond, catching his eye and smiling a little. His gaze seemed conflicted- caught somewhere between soft and affectionate, and hard and frustrated. You tried your best to ignore it, waving him over slightly. He seemed to hesitate, before running his hands down the front of the green tunic he wore and heading your way. 

“Princess,” he greeted gently once he was close. Your eyes shone with light-hearted fondness, taking his proffered hand. He tugged you closer to him, one hand curled with yours while the fingers of the other dug slightly into your waist. You shrugged the grip off a little, free hand settling onto his shoulder, fingers fingers brushing the white fur of the cape that sat there. 

“For now,” You teased, beaming up at him. Mischief was clear in your grin, letting him whisk you away along the dance floor. His eye flickered with something- too quick for you to notice. Then it was looking over your head, seemingly focusing on someone else. You almost turned to look, but he was soon focused on you. He moved way too fast for you to keep up. It was exhausting, yet you weren't sure you wanted to bother with it right now. Not today.

His fingers grasped your waist tighter. "You're really set on this, aren't you? Are you even sure you truly want to become queen to him? To this nation?" Disgust and irritation laced his words. Hell, he even sounded accusatory. You frowned up at him, squaring your shoulders.

"I've told you this before. I'm going through with this. I'm fine. You and George worry too much. Praelicentiam has treated me well," you reassured. Your fingers smoothed the fur of his cloak, praying it was enough.

He still looked disgruntled, lips tugging into a small scowl. "You know if things go wrong-" he started, but you shook his head to cut him off.

"I can return to Kinoko. I know. You and George have told me this more times than I can count."  Your eyes fluttered shut in an attempt to calm yourself. His grip relaxed in the process, tugging you even closer.

"I just worry for you here. You've heard the rumors. I feel like you'd be safer in Kinoko." Where he could watch you. It was left unsaid, but definitely implied. He leaned down, pressing a feather light and affectionate kiss to your forehead. Heat rushed to your cheeks as you made to move away, saved by the clearing of a throat.

"Surely you wouldn't mind if I stole our bride for a dance?" A firm hand sat on your arm, drawing your attention to the blond man who had interrupted. Philza stood there, a kind yet unnerving smile directed to your childhood friend. 

Dream narrowed his eye for a moment before he relented, handing you over to the man. "Of course not. I'll talk to you later, princess." The distaste in his voice was palpable, but you were able to ignore it.

"You were starting to look like a deer caught in the middle of a path," Philza pulled your attention to him as he moved with you to the music. You couldn’t help but laugh nervously. 

"Dream can be a lot sometimes." Philza had simply inclined his head in acknowledgement as you spoke. Dream always had a way to be intense, and you never deciphered if it was good. It had been that way for the past year. You were hardly given time to dwell on your best friend, though. Instead you were being handed over to Tommy, who seemed far from thrilled. Just behind him you could see Wilbur, throwing him a very pointed look.

He didn't seem to linger with his dance, grumbling the whole time about how he hated these formal events. Much like the child he was. You would only laugh, knocking his ankles with your feet.

Then you were off to Tubbo, who's eyes were just as bright as his grin. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were enjoying my wedding more than I am." It was a lighthearted tease but he couldn't help but sheepishly laugh.

"For now I am, yeah," he acknowledged. You followed his gaze over your shoulder, where Schlatt stood holding a cup of wine. You supposed he wasn't looking forward to dealing with his father. You didn't blame him. Beside Schlatt stood Dream, his eye focused solely on you. The pair seemed quiet, thankfully. The idea of Schlatt talking too much with Dream made your stomach churn. You didn't doubt that Schlatt would be able to make Dream do something stupid- the older man was no doubt irritating.

The music faded to a new song, joined with a new dance partner. Your feet were aching, begging for a chance to sit down. Yet you supposed it was obligatory to dance with people. At least your new family seemed to believe so. Which is why Wilbur was now gliding you across the dance floor. He held himself with a poise very akin to Techno’s, a practiced poise and grace to his movements.

As if the way he held himself as he danced wasn't reminder enough, he couldn't help but joke, "If things had gone differently perhaps I would have been the one to promise you my last breath." He laughed, shooting you an amused smile. You echoed his laugh, briefly pondering how different Praelicentiam may have been.

"We'll never know, shall we? I think I prefer you my brother, anyways." He nodded in agreement, one hand softly patting your hair. It was exhausting, being on your feet this long. You needed to eat.

Eret seemed to realize this as they stepped up to you, holding a hand out. "One dance with me and I'll get you back to Technoblade. You've been dancing awhile." You let your shoulders sag a little.

"Just one dance, then. I'm exhausted." A whine edged into your voice. They laughed and nodded, seeming satisfied once you placed a hand into their's. Their movements were a comfort, in a way. You felt endlessly comfortable with them.

"Do you miss Kinoko?" They questioned after a few moments, making your steps stutter. It wasn't a question you expected from them.

You regained yourself, offering a soft smile. "Of course. It's my home, there's people I love there. It'll always be my home and I'll always yearn for it. The path laid ahead of me led me here, though. This is my home just as much." You loved Kinoko endlessly. Yet you were growing to love Praelicentiam. This was going to be your kingdom one day. You needed to learn to love it and it's people.

Eret seemed to think on your answer, sighing softly. "So long as you find happiness."

"I'll be happy here," you were quick to defend, offering a smile. They relented, and pulled back as the song came to an end.

"Fine, fine. Let's get you off of your feet." You were more than happy to follow Eret as they led you through the mix of people. As if it was even hard to spot Techno, where he stood talking quietly to a short man. You barely got a look at him before you were noticed. The man looked at you from behind glasses before smiling, seeming to disappear into the crowd before you got close. You frowned, lifting an eyebrow at Techno.

"Finally had enough socialization?" His voice called to you once within range. Eret squeezed your shoulder, muttering about how they needed to attend to other matters and disappearing.

"More than enough. Who was that?" You tried to locate the man in the crowd, but he was nowhere you could see. Weird.

“Someone running a favor for me.” It was a bland answer but you supposed there wasn’t much to expect. You simply relaxed into his hand as it settled between your shoulder blades, steering you towards seating. It took everything in your power to not sink into the chair as it was pulled out for you. You had a feeling that now that you were seated, you’d be there for a long while. 

Techno settled into the seat beside you, his eyes raking over everyone else. Watching as if he expected something. You followed the gaze, trying to view things as he did. Yet you couldn’t. All you saw was people partying, enjoying their time there. Eret was conversing with George, your older brother struggling to stifle laughter. Wilbur was talking to Nihachu and two people you couldn’t recognize. One was a woman, tall with a mop of curls like you had never seen. The way her fingers curled with Nihachu’s gave you enough clue on who she was. The other was a man, currently laughing over something you wished you could hear. He seemed to be laughing hard, struggling to keep ginger and white locks of hair out of his face. 

You sought out the younger two, knowing they would be joined at the hip. It wasn’t too hard. They stood with another- a boy? He looked young in the face, from what you could see given the slightly anxious expression he wore. Light patches of skin quite a few shades lighter littered him, dual colored eyes focusing on Tommy. His hair was like an extreme version of the man who was with Wilbur- yet instead of ginger there was black. As well as several patches of white as opposed to a single tuft. He was certainly a sight to behold and you swore you had never seen him before. You would have remembered him.

You pushed it aside, for now. You sought out the few other people you knew still. Dream was in a corner, arms crossed over his chest as he talked to a guard. You could tell it was a Kinoko guard, but couldn’t tell who. You tried to look harder to figure it out- you grew up with much of the guard- but it was pointless. His back was to you. It would be more worth it to continue your conversation with Technoblade. “You seem to have a lot of people doing favors for you.”

He huffed in laughter beside you, turning his attention from the people. Instead he watched you, amusement bright in brown eyes.”I’m the crown prince. Of course I have a lot of favors being done.”

“What type of favors?” You questioned, kicking your feet just slightly. You wanted to know. As much time as you spent training with Techno, you didn’t know what he did beyond that. He was still as much of a mystery to you as when he walked into Kinoko.

He shook his head, eyes flicking towards the people again. “Things I would prefer you to stay out of unless necessary. Instead of thinking about that, think about food.” You opened your mouth to complain but he was already waving a servant over, mentioning food to them. The boy nodded, turning to go fetch the food.

You let yourself focus on the food. You’d already tried pushing Techno on one subject today and had to leave it alone, you weren’t going to try a second one. It’s not that you weren’t hungry, either. Everything that had happened today had made you hungry. At least the food was good. You were still having to adjust to the amount of food too. Kinoko hadn’t been able to eat like this in quite some time. You wondered if George and Dream felt similarly to the food- though you were sure that Praelicentiam had since begun to send food over.

It was only when you had finished you truly began to wind down. So did much of the celebration. People left the room with stomachs full of wine and good food. You’d have to thank Nihachu for it. In the morning, though. She had already left with her girlfriend. You were eager to join the crowds of people leaving. You were ready to go to sleep. 

Which was a problem.

You had been taught for so much of your life what was expected of you on your wedding night. Your mom had made sure of that, unwilling to see her daughter get hurt in ignorance. Yet, it still had a weight settling in your stomach. A rock lodged in your throat. Why was it now that you felt the fear Dream was so insistent you felt? Was it because you didn’t know what to expect from Techno?

You couldn’t help but glance at him, fingers toying with your dress. You honestly hoped it was nothing like training. It made you wince, which pulled his attention to you instead. “Are you tired?” His voice was low. You hesitated, glancing towards the few people who still lingered. George and Dream had both left, as well as Tommy, Tubbo, and their tall friend. So few people were here now. You gave in and nodded. There was no point in sticking around. Techno stood up then, holding a hand out for you to take.

It was natural for you to let him lead you through the castle, despite you already knowing it pretty well. He seemed to want to make sure you got wherever you were going safely. The silence was crushing and tense. You almost felt like you were drowning in it. Could he hear the way your heart thrummed against your rib cage, or how your blood was roaring in your ears.

Yet he passed his chambers entirely, heading towards yours instead. It threw you off. Weren’t you supposed to consummate the marriage? Your confusion must have been evident, because he spoke softly, “You seem exhausted. Get some sleep.” A hand settled on your shoulder, squeezing softly. Then he leaned around you to open the door, leaving you to your thoughts and wondering why he had taken you to your room instead of his.

[wordsandrobots]

Thank you! I'm far better at rhetoric than academic rigor, which is why I'm writing amateur essays on an anime rather than driving myself round the bend as a historian of science, but I'm glad it's still given you much to chew on!

With respect to Agnika, I've just belatedly gotten down my copy of 1/100 Bael's manual and it states

"After the War, he divided the world into four economic blocs and founded Gjallarhorn as the supervisory organization. Leaving the management of the organization to the Seven Stars, Agnika passed away as Bael went to sleep. Therefore, the spirit of Agnika Kaieru is said to live in Bael lying in Vingolf, and thus Bael was deified among the people of Gjallarhorn."

So there you have it. Why didn't I think to check that before posting the essay? I will say the kit manuals fall into fuzzy-canon status sometimes, especially in translation ('founded' I think should read 'established', since we know for sure Gjallarhorn was formed in the middle of the War), but this is probably the most definitive statement I've seen on the matter. Without a timeframe,the exact degree of responsibility and how quickly the Seven Stars took over is still up in the air, of course, though this does kind of lend a bit more credence to the idea of the current order coming out of Agnika trying to implement his ideals, rather than being entirely contrary to them.

Now, as for Rustal . . .

OK. This is probably worth a whole separate essay (or conveniently illustrative fanfic), but in brief, it's not that I view him as altruistic but rather that I believe there is reason to think his *intentions* include a wish to improve things from where we start.

The main bases for thinking this are his relationships with Julieta, Iok and the Bearded Gentleman we know as Galan Mossa. In reverse order, the BG is devoted to him in a way that speaks of true commitment to Rustal's cause. In their own words they are friends and I don't think you'd get that if Rustal was a purely selfish arsehole manipulating everyone like Iznario. With Iok, Rustal's guardianship is a power-play but also I think it represents an attempt to shape Iok into being a better officer. The way Rustal talks about Iok's dad suggests he is mindful of how important that kind of inspirational nature can be, and he keeps putting Iok in positions that should, by rights, be learning experiences. It doesn't work because Iok is a pampered brat without a single thought in his head, but I can see a decent idea behind the attempt.

Then there's Julieta. Who is a uniquely talented weirdo with no social standing and a serious lack of self-preservation, and, importantly, not somebody you would ever keep around for the sake of your image. She is blunt and stubborn and canonically out of place in the middle of Gjallarhorn's elite fleet. And Rustal not only keeps her close but relies on her in a way that you'd imagine would have a lot of other pilots gnashing their teeth in frustration, given what we know of the internal class politics.

Yes, he's using her. She is a useful tool. But he also makes her his successor (if we trust that Gaelio heard an accurate rumour). At the very least, her uniform in the epilogue suggests she's made Commander (like Carta), most probably taking Rustal's place leading the Arianrhod Fleet. Which would have caused a riot among the aristocrats if it had even been suggested prior to the reforms inside Gjallarhorn. She's *nobody*. Not quite as low as Ein, given she appears to be from Earth, but a commoner with no manners and no willingness to learn them. That's who Rustal relies on, all the way to the end of the show.

In the side-story focused on Julieta's origins, the BG has a line about telling Julieta his real name if the day comes when everyone is valued equally and treated right. Based on Julieta and Rustal's relationship (in which is his very open and honest with her about both his expectations and what he does to achieve his goals), I think that kind of world is one Rustal sincerely believes himself to be working towards. I think that's the cause for which 'Galan' follows him, and I think it's why he took a chance on making Julieta his right hand in battle. The 'democratising' of Gjallarhorn (however that works) is intended as part of that, as is elevating Julieta through the ranks (however that worked). For whatever reason, Rustal concluded the aristocratic system wasn't fit for purpose and decided it would be better if people were promoted based on merit rather than background.

(The reason, to my mind, is seeing bruises on McGillis' neck and however many other pieces of dirty Seven Stars' laundry. I don't think a reasonably intelligent person, suffering the company of the rest of the Council on a daily basis, would come away thinking highly of hereditary greatness as a concept. He's got bloody Iok as a ward, for heaven's sake.)

The big honking caveat is that Rustal's efforts towards furthering this goal are filtered through the mindset of a colonial officer and a master of realpolitik. He's not an idealist. He meets the world as it is and works with the systems available to him. Making any changes within Gjallarhorn under the Seven Stars requires that he gather as much power as possible, because those levers aren't going to turn on their own. But more than this, I think Rustal believes in Gjallarhorn's purpose as an instrument of 'law and order'. Foundationally so. Everything he does is in the name of preventing wide-scale disruption to the systems on which the world runs. What he ultimately wants, in my view, is to see those systems run in a more equal fashion, shorn of the kind of bigotry that would have skilled people like Julieta dismissed out of hand.

And because he's raised in the environment he is, he doesn't see the contradiction. He's a reformist, not a revolutionary, because he still thinks in terms of the world being divided into 'the good parts that must be maintained' and 'the bad parts that must be kept under control'. That's why he can be so callously dismissive of Tekkadan. They're a disruption. They're making a lot of noise in the wrong place, getting in the way of the people who see the bigger picture and thus make the correct choices to improve things.

The way he talks about McGillis is very patronising, in the sense of looking down on someone with obvious ability who is just not using it right. He thinks McGillis is small. Small and childish, throwing a tantrum and making things worse as a result. Endangering Gjallarhorn's reputation. Threatening to destabilise the whole shebang. Chaos. Confusion. The little people messing everything up.

Rustal, to me, is emblematic of why a focus on 'meritocracy' shorn of a commitment to deconstructing systems of oppression is a dead-end. I think he is a man just as obsessed with power as McGillis, but he thinks that's OK because he's doing it for the right reasons. I think it's telling that he seems devoted to his fleet before the Seven Stars (wearing his green coat over his uniform) and that we never see any Elion Family (my head-canon is, he never married and has no children specifically as a fuck-that about the whole inherited position thing). I think, ultimately, he is a great example of why a 'well-intentioned noble' is a self-fulfilling contradiction if it's taken anywhere near realistically.

I've never thought the show means us to believe he's the good guy at the end. I think it positions him as the guy who won, taking logical steps towards recovering from the havoc McGillis wreaked, and who is revealed to have good intentions filtered through a totally poisonous view of the world. He is broadly speaking a better option than the Seven Stars were. He's also the man who bombed a bunch of teenagers for the sake of looking good on the news. Because that's what you have to do, when you're in his position, and want to keep being able to turn the levers from the inside.

Above all, it seems to me there is a damn good reason why he and Kudelia are facing each other at the end of the show. They're reflections. The woman who got down among the dirt and the blood to learn what she didn't know, and the man who looked out from on high and assumed he knew everything already.

Phew. That ended up longer than I intended (slightly longer than the fic, too, which at least proves narrative to be the more succinct form of communication!) but I hope it clears up my position a bit. I'd never argue Rustal Elion is a particularly deep character, but I don't think it's fair to say he's a one-note bad guy either.

(I shall have to prod that tag about Almiria another time, because it has gotten very late while I've been writing this, but suffice to say, I agree McGillis cares for her, even with all the complexity that comes with it being *McGillis*.)

IBO reference notes on . . . the lie of Agnika Kaieru

This is a post about McGillis Fareed.

Originally presented as an antagonist ala the Gundam franchise's 'Char clone' archetype (named after Char Aznable, an expy of the Red Baron by way of the Last of the Romanovs), McGillis turns out to be one of Iron-Blooded Orphans' key protagonists, his initial appearances reframed by an eventual alliance with Martian mercenary group Tekkadan, home to the more obvious lead characters. In large part, it is his story we watch unfold, as he attempts to secure control over Gjallarhorn, the repressive extra-national military in which he serves.

And it's hard to discuss that story without reference to Agnika Kaieru, the man credited with founding Gjallarhorn to counter AI-controlled 'mobile armours' three hundred years earlier. The apocalyptic conflict between humanity and the armours known as the Calamity War is the source of the current social order, not to mention the titular Gundam mecha. Agnika is responsible for leading Gjallarhorn to victory, an achievement for which McGillis idolises him. He is also a non-character, haunting events solely through McGillis' commentary, at once vitally important and entirely absent.

I thought it would be interesting to examine how that works. I ended up writing 7000 words about it. Spoilers for everything and content warnings for mentions of child sexual abuse.

The character who wasn't there

If we take McGillis at his word, his personal philosophy was defined by reading a biography of Gjallarhorn's founder at a young age. More specifically, at a young age, while being sexually abused by his adoptive father, Iznario Fareed, who had extricated him from working at a brothel, a situation he was previously forced into after being abducted while homeless on the streets. The Life of Agnika Kaieru was a light in this darkness, offering a path out of a situation that, though seemingly improved from his original impoverishment, continued to be highly coercive and harmful. McGillis was made heir to a powerful family, yet had to sneak out of his patron's bed in the middle of the night, naked, with visible bruises across his body. He was desperately in need of hope.

The abuse appears to have been baked into this plot-beat from the start, with hints to it provided at multiple points during Season 1. Iznario being accompanied by a blonde boy and blonde young man (echoing the excesses of Carta Issue, a character who surrounds herself with McGillis lookalikes owing to an unrequited crush), McGillis' reluctance to spend the night at the Fareed estate, and the questions of legitimacy surrounding his inheritance all take on darker significance when the truth is revealed in Season 2. We may safely assume he was always planned to be reacting to this form of exploitation.

I suspect Agnika was a later creation. Comparing the outline of the Calamity War provided at the very start of the show to the ways it later becomes relevant suggests a considerable amount of fleshing-out in the interim. There are few outright contradictions, or at least, few we cannot explained by assuming in-fiction ignorance. Nevertheless, the importance of Agnika as a historical figure, the myths surrounding his mobile suit, and the very existence of the mobile armours each enter without previous set-up. This is inelegant, in the manner of much of IBO's exposition: workmanlike additions to propel the plot along, extending exactly as far as required and no more. But we cannot discount their importance to the final result and since McGillis aspires, in a very real sense, to become his hero, it is instructive to consider what the show tells us about Agnika.

Immediately we run into the fact we know nothing at all about him as a person. The only 'canonical' description of his personality was provided by the series' director, who compared him to 'the hero in a shonen manga': a charismatic character who always saves his friends. Apart from reinforcing my belief any spin-off set during the Calamity War would be more typical fare than Iron-Blooded Orphans turned out to be, this tells us little. Within the story as it plays out, Agnika is blank space. Being three hundred years dead, it does not actually matter what he was like – itself a statement about how people can be forgotten even when their names reverberate through history. Indeed, the thematic parallel to the fates of a large chunk of the cast is a potent one. Time has rendered Agnika a cipher, subject to the judgement of distant strangers, his exact morals and intentions long-since stripped away.

What remains are his legacy and beliefs. That we must speak of these separately is telling. The Seven Stars, descendants of Agnika's fellow Gundam pilots and Gjallarhorn's present-day leadership, show little deference to the man who commanded their ancestors. There are no statues memorialising him and though Gundam Bael has its attendant ghost stories, of Agnika's spirit living on inside and how it will only awake for his true inheritor, it is shuttered away, a monument nobody ever goes to see. One gets the strong impression McGillis is the only person to pay him more than lips service in centuries.

Consequently, McGillis' personal interpretation of Agnika's philosophy is the only window we get on his beliefs, and the most thorough explanation of that interpretation is given to his eleven-year-old child-bride, Almiria Bauduin.

Fairy tales told by a pied piper

From what we see on screen, McGillis is never overtly abusive towards Almiria, to whom he becomes engaged as part of a political scheme. He is pushed into the arrangement by Iznario and in the side-story covering its commencement, he goes out of his way to provide Almiria with the choice he lacks – something that spurs Almiria to form a genuine attachment to him. However, the engagement also serves his personal ambitions extremely well and he unquestionably manipulates her over the course of it (hard to think of another term to describe comforting her on the loss of her brother Gaelio, for which McGillis is himself responsible). We could and probably should label his apparent concern for her emotional wellbeing and indulgence of her desire to be seen as a grown-up as an attempt at grooming her, not in the sexual sense, but to make her a more amenable chess-piece. On the other hand, McGillis prevents Almiria from killing herself when the truth comes out, at the cost of an injury that severely disadvantages him in battle shortly thereafter – a notable action when her political utility has just evaporated. On the other other hand, this incident prompts him to describe her, quite disdainfully, as 'troublesome'.

What I'm saying is, the question of whether McGillis sees Almiria as a tool or somebody he truly cares for is thorny, as it is for virtually every single character with whom he has a meaningful relationship. Nevertheless, I think we are meant to believe he is being honest when he talks to Almiria about The Life of Agnika Kaieru. What he says fits his actions elsewhere and there are no on-screen indications he isn't being truthful – at least from his perspective – when he credits Agnika's principles with 'saving him'.

McGillis states Agnika wanted a world where “humans could live as humans”; that is, where humans of all backgrounds could compete fairly to achieve their dreams. To a child of low-birth, abused behind closed doors, this is an enticing prospect. McGillis goes on to entice Almiria in turn with the promise of 'loving whomever you wish' and of neither of them being mocked for the age imbalance between them. He concludes the scene by saying it is time to “pry open the door to that world with my own two hands.”

A few episodes later, in an internal monologue, he refers to Agnika as the “greatest symbol of power the world had ever seen. Authority, vigour, might, capability, vitality, influence, as well as brute force.” Inspired by this man's life story, he is determined to usurp rule over Gjallarhorn and finally address the want of power that had defined his own life since birth.

Like everything to do with Agnika, what this tells us about his principles is somewhat vague. Quite literally the child-friendly version (sort of; McGillis openly tells Almiria he contemplated suicide prior to reading the book and is likely a poor judge of age-appropriateness). Still, the philosophy described combines individualism with egalitarianism. The stated goal is a level playing field, free of artificial advantages like wealth or social status, where everyone can pursue their dreams as far as they are each able. This is implied to be a natural state for humanity, such that achieving it would be a form of reclamation. Further, the kinds of power McGillis lists are personal – physical strength, intelligence, charisma – and he works obsessively to cultivate them. We don't get confirmation that self-improvement is another of Agnika's ideals, but it would fit from what is presented.

If you are anything like me, your brain will have turned to all sorts of weird capitalism fans and their buzzwords for justifying frantic competition between people at every level of society. Phrases like 'personal responsibility', 'rugged individualism', and 'rational self-interest', possibly with a side-helping of – gods help us – libertarianism. You may also be asking, if this is what Gjallarhorn's founder espoused, how did it end up enforcing disparities between different populations, oppressing workers and maintaining social hierarchies, at large and within its own walls?

To which I might reply, have you looked at what all those weird capitalism fans get up to, recently? This is an unsatisfying answer, though, and to properly examine how Agnika's legacy intersects with the dreaded c-word, we need to take a couple of side-steps, starting with why it should be a natural connection to make within the context of this show.

A digression into narratives about capitalism

Iron-Blooded Orphans is one of the few entries in the franchise to directly engage with capitalism as a major source of global problems. That probably sounds a little strange if you're aware of the the reputation Gundam has as a whole, so let me explain.

[Also, let me remind everyone the definition of capitalism is “an economic system based on the private ownership of the means of production and their operation for profit.” (Wikipedia; emphasis mine). It's worth being exact.]

When the concept of space colonies is introduced in 1979's Mobile Suit Gundam, they are framed as a response to global overpopulation and the consequent ecological decline of the Earth (pause to appreciate the massive fuck-off dog-whistle; we'll come back to that in a second). The war the show depicts is presented as a matter of sovereignty, whereby those offloaded into orbit rise up against rule by an indifferent terrestrial government. The colonies themselves are cities built within artificially landscaped environments inside O'Neil cylinders. They do not appear to serve any commercial purpose in and of themselves; when we see labour happening in space, it is in service to the colonies, rather than something they are for (the Zeon miners in sequel series ZZ; there is also the fuel-collecting Jupiter Fleet but they are a very odd entity and not fleshed out).

Contrast this to IBO where Mars' utility as a source of 'half-metal' is of paramount importance to its political and economic position, and the space colonies are explicitly shown to be factory complexes, company towns, resorts, and prisons. The middle arc of Season 1 is focused on a workers' revolt against the corporation running a particular group of colonies, the Dorts, while the impetus behind spin-off game Urdr Hunt is the lead character's desire to transform his home's fortunes by making it a popular tourist destination. There are also mentions of 'resource satellites' and glimpses of what appear to be colonies built to mine asteroids. And true, it isn't stated whether all the colonies originate as extractive operations and production centres. But those purposes are depicted the reason they are maintained to the present day, removing such dirty businesses far above the 'precious', 'unsullied' Earth (cue 'The Lightship', played with maximum irony).

[Side-note: the Dort Company runs its colonies as a 'public enterprise on behalf of the African Union', implying state ownership. However there are multiple references to 'rich factory owners from Earth', suggesting private control. Best I can figure, the colonies are state-owned while the production facilities inside them belong to private companies? Since everyone appears to work for Dort (every worker we see wears the same green jacket), I'm not certain how that functions. Perhaps the workforce is leased to private factories via the Company? That would be fittingly grim.]

Now to be clear, I am not claiming Gundam as a whole doesn't tackle problems caused or exacerbated by capitalism. The introduction of Anaheim Electronics into the original Gundam timeline marks clear interest in exploring the influence of corporate entities on warfare. We may also – from the outside – interrogate overpopulation concerns as deflecting blame from capital's destructive activities, going hand-in-hand with racism over migration, and obfuscating who exactly gets sent to 'colonise the unknown' (spoilers: it's the poor and vulnerable). I'm unconvinced the original run from Mobile Suit Gundam to Char's Counterattack is intended as commentary in this manner; equally, I don't think it's hard to get there (as Gundam Unicorn somewhat demonstrates).

What I'm trying to articulate is a distinction between 'being about a problem' and 'naming capitalism as the cause'. Most Gundam series tend to depict capital as part of an amorphous blob of 'Earth-sphere corruption' or 'greedy elites'. Even Anaheim acts as a third party in the Earth/space conflict, taking advantage of the war rather than shaping the fault-lines along which it occurs. Additionally, actual money very rarely tends to be a factor in the plot. Groups like Celestial Being from Gundam 00 appear to possess near-infinite budget; Gundam Wing's itinerant teenage terrorists have only erratic and arbitrary issues obtaining supplies (where are you getting the damn ammo, Trowa?!); and even in The Witch From Mercury, where you'd really expect expenditure to matter, it… doesn't. G-Witch toys with access to funds and the requirement to be profitable early on, but overall is more a courtly drama in business drag, unconcerned with why corporations work the way they do. Issues such as the exploitation of vulnerable populations for the sake of driving down costs are gestured to without becoming strictly plot-relevant.

Meanwhile over in IBO, the poverty of the Martian characters is an ever-present threat and come the denouement, whether they have any money left is of paramount importance. The show tells us bullets have a price-tag, using this to drive actions inside a world run for the sake of profit. It is mentioned that productivity in the African Union's colonies is expected to drop following the Dort labourers wining better working conditions, a boon to the competing economic blocs that leads to one of them sheltering Tekkadan in gratitude for helping bring this change about. The reason co-main character Orga Itsuka does not survive episode 48 is because arms-dealer Nobliss Gordon thinks it will be financially advantageous to have him killed. That fellow businessman McMurdo Barriston extends limited aid to Tekkadan after publicly cutting them loose for the sake of the Teiwaz conglomerate's reputation and revenue is highly relevant to his characterisation. And Teiwaz itself is run like a mafia, a riff on yakuza practices that erases the line between big business and organised crime – a hell of claim to make in a story where another of the leads' entire goal is uplifting Mars by playing the economic system.

Now, in my reading the major theme running through Iron-Blooded Orphans is exploitation. An acute depiction of how capitalist societies operate – the amorality of the profit motive, the colonial underpinnings, the sheer, monstrous cost – is a subset of this. I don't feel it's any surprise that an attempt to realistically depict child soldiers and other exploited groups should lead to a detailed rendering of the gears in which the world is currently caught. Equally, I don't think it fair to reduce IBO to being about capitalism, full-stop. Patriarchy, slavery and repressive class structures all have older roots and there is an argument to be made that where it touches those things, the show cares less about them as artefacts of modern economic arrangements than as evils in their own right.

It still manages to say stuff about the functioning of capitalism with more bluntness than most pieces of fiction I've encountered and, speaking as an Englishman, the thing that strikes me most is the decision to make the lynchpin of its world an aristocratically-led military force.

A further digression into aristocratic fables

Aristocracy means 'government by a hereditary elite'. It is sustained via wealth passed down through generations of a small group of families and was one of the key mechanisms by which the feudal system operated, prior to the slow capitalist revolution of the 16th to 18th Centuries. It is often treated as obsolete, having been superseded by more modern forms of 'being rich'. Certainly it seems quaint in these days of tech billionaires and oligarchs to talk of descendents of feudal lords who prize family trees traced back to William the Conqueror.

What you have to understand about the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (official name used with illustrative intent) is that this country never properly rid itself of its aristocracy. We are a monarchy. Our parliament includes a House of Lords. And while these are both vestiges of earlier systems, they are neither of them ceremonial. The Lords and the Crown possess actual power that can affect decisions made by the House of Commons, our democratically-elected governing body. The Lords (who are not elected and include those appointed for life alongside ninety-two hereditary positions [this was a compromise]) can review and send back certain types of bills passed in the Commons, delaying their introduction into law. Meanwhile the Crown technically still holds an absolute veto at the end of the legislative process, which only by convention do they not use (royal assent is required for any bill to become law; apparently the last time it was withheld was 1708, but the threat remains and the Crown continues to interfere in proposals affecting their interests).

As you might expect, there have been murmurings for years about replacing the Lords with elected officials and we all like to pretend the King just exists for show. Regardless, these institutions – hundreds of years old and holdovers from a completely different social and economic order – persist because the aristocracy remains a useful tool of the modern British state. The Royal Family can be said to be its advertising wing, not in the sense of attracting tourism but of going around shoring up foreign relations, to help keep Britain the fifth richest country in the world. These diplomatic efforts are a key reason why they are worth the maintenance costs (and the noxious scandals). However it goes deeper than that.

Kings and queens don't make sense without the idea of hereditary superiority, and even with its overt political power reduced by changing times, the British aristocracy continues to shape our upper classes. We have an entire parallel school system preparing the children of the wealthy for life running the country. Our public schools (fee-paying schools open to all who can afford them; we call the free ones 'state schools') have been educating the sons of the 'best families' for centuries. They were the source of the officers and administrators who maintained the British Empire and they continue to be where a massive proportion of our diplomats, politicians, journalists, civil servants, and military leadership receive their education.

This system, funnelling kids through schools like Eaton and Harrow to Oxford and Cambridge Universities, is a factory for class solidarity. It allows students to network and, just as importantly, instils in them the signifiers of being 'the proper kind of person'. Ways of speaking. Ways of dressing. An awareness of who they should defer to and who they can look down on, so that they can be recognised by other alumni as 'correct'. Trustworthy. Reliable.

Above all, it reinforces the notion they have both a right and a responsibility to lead.

Because that's the heart of the lie nobility tells: 'there is something about us that means we must rule over them.' If Britain no longer entirely subscribes to this quality being inborn, it can at least be taught to those of the right stock, bringing them a little closer to the true aristocracy. They can elevate themselves above the plebs, as diligent servants of the Crown, who remains the untouchable pinnacle of quality. [Translation note: 'the Crown' refers to both the reigning monarch and the state. They are functionally the same thing. That's what being a monarchy means.]

Thus, the Empire was able to send its younger, weirder sons out to plunder far-off lands, and produced many an honourable sort to lead thousands against machine guns in Europe, and, in a post-imperial age, Britain can still present an impeccably polite face to the world, to negotiate better deals. Diminished as it is, the aristocracy's shambling husk continues on, manufacturing not the capitalists per se (although the successors to the original land-lords are hardly above enriching themselves and plenty of our lifetime peers are people who've run successful businesses), but the supporting apparatus for capitalist operations. The grease on the wheels and a permanent roadblock along the road to meaningful social change.

You literally cannot have equality if there's a guy at the top who gets a stupid hat and ungodly amounts of influence just for who his parents were.

The wrong story, at the right time

It isn't hard to imagine about how it happened.

Gjallarhorn is the only significant military force left standing after a quarter of a solar-system-spanning human race has been exterminated. Faced with the task of reconstructing civilisation, it splits the world into four blocs for easier administration, abolishing the old national borders. At those blocs' request, it then applies the same reorganisation to Mars and Jupiter, the better to funnel resources towards restoring the Earth. Throughout, it maintains the position of a neutral arbiter; Gjallarhorn was formed to stop the War; now it must ensure there will never be another.

To this end, the tools that allowed it to triumph – the Alaya-Vijnana augmentation technology and the Gundam frames that meant flesh and blood could out-compete tireless machinery – are buried. Victory is instead attributed to the resilience of pure, unadulterated humanity. The pilots slew the monsters not thanks to their equipment but their innate ability. The greatest among them are heralded as champions and natural leaders.

It is a small step to decreeing that their children will inherit their positions. Innate qualities can be passed down and heirs, raised in the image of their parents. Maybe this is an extension of those traditions from which sprang duellists bearing red flags. Maybe it is merely a result of the new-born legends. What matters is, Gjallarhorn endures, guided by its seven stars.

Over the following centuries, the system embeds. The ethos of human purity takes hold, measured by distance from the homeworld. Unfortunates born to space or on distant, dusty worlds posses utility for digging up half-metal or labouring in orbital factories but have no place inside Earth's atmosphere. They would make the place untidy, now the scars of the War are scrubbed away. Those who seek to upset this situation are dissuaded. Those subjected to augmentation, dismissed as subhuman. The peace is kept.

Sadly, new generations of the ennobled families lack the moral fibre of their forebears, accepting bribes, pushing the boundaries of Gjallarhorn's neutrality. There are rules and those tasked with enforcing the rules and yet still the rot spreads. These younger generations lack the moral fibre of their vaunted forebears. A sad decline.

Or perhaps that is bullshit and they are exactly the same: people come into power, who will justify anything for the sake of never giving it up and ensuring that all things flow towards the centre.

Gjallarhorn is the armed wing of the Earth super-state, operating for the benefit of the whole despite competition between the individual blocs. That is to say, it is the army of a capitalist state writ large, in the usual manner of sci-fi magnifying things across time and space. Broadly, a state's purpose under capitalism is to facilitate the smooth running of private enterprise by maintaining infrastructure, providing a workforce, and destroying anything that gets in the way of expansion. Tradition, upper-class solidarity and ideological frameworks all help hold the arrangement together. It is useful, after all, to train people to believe they're supporting a grand cause when they are in fact facilitating exploitation and theft for the benefit of someone else.

And it is here we must turn our attention back to The Life of Agnika Kaieru. Above, I glibly compared the things McGillis says Agnika stood for to capitalistic propaganda. What I mean is that it reads as the ideology surrounding free-market capitalism, where companies are released from all restraint and allowed to compete irrespective of consequence. This is often said to fuel innovation and create a healthy market that will – somehow – benefit everyone, despite observably driving owners to increase profits at the expense of large numbers of people, including their customers.

In that context, claiming you want to ensure everyone competes 'fairly' is disingenuous, since it entails the removal of both limitations and safety nets. No artificial advantages and reliance solely on personal strengths means those who are old, disabled, or otherwise lacking Agnika's stated virtues will automatically be left behind. This is not hypothetical; I see it around me everyday, as a result of policies predicated on exactly this basis, just as we see it represented in IBO by a wide-scale absence of social support and characters too vulnerable to survive a free-for-all (Atra, Builth, the Turbines, in flashback). But the ideological statement elides such problems.

Given the title of the biography, I assume it dates from after Agnika died. Any impression derived from it must therefore be suspected of being what Gjallarhorn required him to have believed. Historically, both aristocracy and capitalism alike have benefited from this kind of distortion, so it would be no great surprise if the book turned out to be more PR than honest report. While Agnika's principles are incompatible with the hereditary advantages enjoyed by the Seven Stars, there are ways to read them as being aligned with the wider social and economic arrangements. As such, it is entirely plausible the way he is remembered was designed to support those arrangements.

The right story, at the wrong time

The rhetoric of McGillis' attempted coup centres Gjallarhorn's failure to adhere to its original values, citing unwarranted attacks against civilians and inference in Earth politics. The Seven Stars must be replaced with sincere believers to correct a drift away from what Agnika intended. McGillis outright proclaims his 'revolutionaries' have the truth of Gjallarhorn on their side.

Even if this is a calculated stance designed to rile younger officers into being the army he requires, McGillis' internal monologues reveal a commitment to the ideal of the individual seizing their dreams through sheer personal strength. He seeks not only to prove this is possible, but also to inspire those who cower because “they don't know how to use their fangs” into following his example. From what we see, he has taken Agnika's words – as they were relayed to him – as gospel.

Is his interpretation correct? And if it is, was it what Agnika believed, or simply what it was useful for him to say? McGillis is manipulative, spinning tales to make others do what he wants. Was his idol the same, pre-empting biographical distortions by espousing a finely-tuned message that would reassure the masses while he built a system geared toward curtailing the power of all but a few?

Trick question. There's no answer in the text. As I said, Agnika isn't a character; what he really intended is irrelevant and therefore not present. Yet a distinction must be drawn between what is said publicly and what is said behind the scenes. This is a layering IBO captures via Rustal Elion, McGillis' rival for control of Gjallarhorn, who out-manoeuvres and defeats him. Rustal is a pragmatist unencumbered by quasi-mystic belief in Agnika or some 'true purpose' to Gjallarhorn. He does whatever it takes to best McGillis, casually breaking centuries-old weaponry restrictions and even provoking a fresh war to undermine his opponent's plans – all while presenting as a bastion of lawful rule. Privately, he admits to being 'shady', willing to deal with whomsoever furthers his goals (e.g. Nobliss Gordon, who starts violent uprisings to spur sales of his merchandise). It is this capacity for realpolitik that means Rustal comes out on top.

The narrative does gesture at motivations beyond self-interest. When Rustal reforms Gjallarhorn in the wake of the Seven Stars decimation at McGillis' hand, he abolishes the aristocratic council (of which he is also a member) and replaces it with a more democratic form of governance. That he is immediately elected to the role of supreme commander gives us some reason to doubt his sincerity. Offsetting this, he is also shown to be working towards the abolishment of slavery in his society.

Regardless of his exact degree of progressiveness, however, Rustal appears entirely uninterested in changing what Gjallarhorn is for. See, institutions and social structures have specific purposes, which need not be the ones they claim, via statements or appearances. A capitalist business may claim to exist to provide a product or service, but its actual purpose is the generation of profit. The police may claim to be an institution of citizen protection, but their purpose is the enforcement of the law, which can be detrimental to some or all of those selfsame citizens.

Gjallarhorn's purpose is to control the colonial holdings of the Earth and maintain the current division of the world. They administrate the extraction of resources, quash attempts at social change, and crush resistance to exploitative business practices. Moreover, Rustal is certainly well-aware this is what his job entails. It is his fleet that carries out a calculated massacre of the Dort workers' unions when they push for better conditions and he personally orders an orbital strike on defeated child-soldiers as an exercise in image management. His reforms thus smack more than a little of an army or a weapons manufacturer improving its hiring policies: sure, they now employ women and members of minority groups; they still exist to kill people.

For these kinds of entities, purpose is all-important. You can dress them up however you want, so long as their function continues to be carried out. I bet, when I described my country's persisting aristocratic elements, you immediately went, “that sounds like [mechanics of regional upper class and attendant justifications for social division].” Yes. Precisely. We don't have feudal system holdovers at the centre of our society because they're the most efficient or only means of fulfilling those roles. They're simply the ones that make the most sense at this point in our history. A different environment would necessitate a different form, but the function would remain.

[I am glossing over the mutability of function here – the power of the king has reduced greatly via political and economic shifts, so he's no longer performing quite the same role as his ancestors – but hopefully you get what I mean.]

Rustal's reforms are an illustration of purpose superseding form. At the end of the show, the narration informs us trust in Gjallarhorn has been restored, indicating an end to meaningful opposition to what we have seen it do. Similarly, when Rustal states that the organisation's history matters more than its mythology, he is saying it has largely been operating correctly and should continue to do so in the future. The public claims can be altered, the set-dressing reworked. The function remains.

Poor delusions

Like the British state and its equivalents, Gjallarhorn is draped in heroic, mythological imagery. From uniforms to equipment naming conventions, it presents as grand and noble, even possessing heraldry, as if originating in a gathering of brave knights. We, the audience, know that this is a veneer plastered atop the material reality. Scenes of its foundation are comparatively mundane: sober men wearing drab suits, shaping the future with the stroke of a pen. The dress-up played since is pure embellishment.

McGillis, however, takes the imagery seriously.

His plan hinges on 'awakening' Gundam Bael and being 'accepted' as its new pilot, fulfilling an old rule/tradition whereby whoever possesses this particular mobile suit is the undisputed leader of Gjallarhorn. By taking a disgraced Iznario's place among the Seven Stars, augmenting himself with an Alaya-Vijnana system, and capturing the facility containing Bael, McGillis intends to anoint himself the new Agnika. At a stroke, he believes he will gain the loyalty of all Gjallarhorn forces on Earth and thus the military strength necessary to defeat Rustal's Moon-based Arianrhod Fleet.

For reasons I'll detail another time, I don't think his strategy is necessarily ridiculous. But it doesn't work. The other Seven Stars do not automatically bow down to Bael's new pilot, instead adopting a neutral position awaiting the outcome of the impending battle, and there is no mass uprising among the ranks below them. Since Rustal otherwise commands an overwhelming number of troops, this turns the conclusion into a foregone one. The few who do join McGillis' cause are annihilated and he is forced to retreat, eventually dying in a one-man attack on the Arianrhod flagship.

It must be stressed that McGillis isn't stupid. He is a canny political operator who correctly identifies the biggest obstacles to success, and while his analysis of Gjallarhorn's corruption is deployed principally as a rhetorical tool, he's not wrong. The leadership are complicit in a lot of extremely shady activity, including experimentation with Alaya-Vijnana technology, contravening the taboo against augmentation their ancestors propagated. They do act against their publicly-stated values, to the detriment of ordinary people and in the interests of those who benefit from a hideously exploitative system.

His mistake is to treat this as a bug, rather than the feature we might more correctly diagnose it to be. Within The Life of Agnika Kaieru, McGillis believes he has discovered the hidden truth about Gjallarhorn. He imagines by setting Agnika aside, the Seven Stars obfuscated mechanisms to curtail their authority and an ethos more welcoming to people like him. (There is a lot we could discuss about the ways McGillis is immunised against some forms of bigotry by his station, despite his illegitimate status, and how he exploits more disadvantaged soldiers like Ein Dalton and Isurugi Camice for his own ends. It's just, that'd be another two thousand words and I really need to wrap this up.)

Yet if we follow Rustal's advice and heed history, the timeline shown in Season 1 has Gjallarhorn dolling out sections of Mars to the blocs a mere three years after the Calamity War ended. Among the many things we don't know about Agnika is if he survived the War, but whether he did or not, his organisation pretty instantly became a tool of social division and exploitation. The most we may allow is that its original purpose was truly noble. Its actions once the apocalypse had been averted speak for themselves.

This has been long walk, I suppose, for the fairly succinct summary of McGillis as a character who rejects private truth in favour of embracing a public, propagandising lie. I am compelled by the idea even so. Capitalism is far from the only system to have claimed universal virtue while benefitting merely a select few, but it has gone uniquely hard on the idea 'you can make it too'. Given IBO's uncluttered depictions of a world run for profit (with the complicity of ostensibly non-capitalistic institutions), taking a cynical read on Agnika's supposed ideology is trivial. Human triumphalism and Gjallarhorn conceptualised as the arbiter of fair competition dovetail into the show's unjust present in a manner too neat to discount. More than anything else, the choice McGillis makes is a common one in real life.

Sometimes, that's a positive thing, pushing people to insist on making promises come true to the detriment of the swindler proffering them. Others, it is a source of profound disorientation, leading in very dark directions as blame for the dissonance is attributed to anything but the root cause.

[This seems is as good a juncture as any to remark that McGillis is not a proponent of anything we can easily label fascistic. He focuses on individual freedom irrespective of national identity; he is attacking people genuinely perpetuating his world's ills; and he definitely doesn't bother courting a disaffected public by playing to middle-class anxieties. He doesn't need to. His plan is to enact a coup from high up inside a military hierarchy, while promising to lessen the force exerted against society. Though there are links to be traced between his ideology and fascist rhetoric, it isn't the avenue his circumstances compel him to go down.]

[I am 100% certain he would've gone in that direction if they had, but that's a counterfactual, not what the show actually presents.]

How McGillis got to where he did is another of IBO's many examples of adaptations to extremis that look utterly bonkers when seen at a remove. An outsider, thrust into the realm of a vicious upper class, he accurately declared the whole thing a nest of lies and hypocrisy. He could never buy the pretences it sold, to others and to itself. His very existence was damning disproof. Then, at his lowest ebb, he found a story about what it should be and that – that he bought, hook, line and sinker.

Already primed to consider power the be-all and end-all of life, he took Agnika's story as a guide to gaining the upper-hand, going so far as to tell Rustal (then a young adult) that the only thing he now desired was Bael. Though it seems he lapsed into a wait-and-see approach between prepubescence and his mid-twenties, witnessing children from Mars fighting using Gundams makes him believe destiny is taking a hand in events and the time has come to act. He betrays Carta and Gaelio, his two closest friends, both heirs to other Seven Star families, for the sake of clearing his path forwards. These were the first people to treat him like a normal child and he admits with his dying breath that he reciprocated their affection. This was part of why he killed/attempted to kill them: in their company, he started losing the will to pursue his dream, put off guard by finally having something positive in his life. So he chose to violently reject them, unable to give up on what he'd started.

That could easily be McGillis' epitaph. He is characterised by an overwhelming commitment to seeing through his power-grab, even if it means fighting an entire fleet to go personally kill Rustal. This is very far from a sane response and we might say likewise about everything he does prior. From his gleeful divinations at the sight of ancient relics, to his rapturous exultation on activating a machine he knows just required the appropriate brain/computer interface, the personality lurking beneath his habitually polite mask is little short of unhinged.

Which is of a piece with a group of teenage orphans clinging tight to the idea a good life lies just beyond the next battle, having internalised that proving their strength is the only way to survive. McGillis has to think taking on Agnika's mantle will bring him what he wishes, because otherwise his actions have been for nought, nothing can be changed, and the misery he endured is inescapable. It's the same self-reinforcing spiral, turned up to eleven.

(Re)imagining the world

In the final outcome, Iron-Blooded Orphans refutes McGillis' individualism, albeit not without caveat. Destabilising the Seven Stars creates space for incremental change and self-interestedly assisting independence activists lays the groundwork for Mars' eventual freedom from Earth. McGillis does create a “storm in this stagnant world,” with lasting consequences regardless of how swiftly it subsides. Nonetheless, his death is a futile one compared to the other causalities during the finale, who all manage to make their last acts count for something. Where Tekkadan share a mutually-supporting community – they are a 'pack of wolves' – he stands alone and saves nothing of what mattered to him.

As I said above, I don't want to treat IBO as a story solely and absolutely about capitalism. In a similar vein, I'm not trying to position an interpretation of Agnika as a vector for capitalist propaganda as the intended one. There are multiple moving parts here, spinning out from that serious consideration of child-soldiers as more than just a trope in fiction aimed at teenagers. My read on those parts is contextualised by my cultural background (I do now want to look into how Japan's own aristocracy mutated with their forced induction into global capitalism).

At the same time, McGillis indisputably misapprehends how a structure within a capitalist environment works because he wants to believe a version of what says about itself. And The Life of Agnika Kaieru is an artefact of that environment. Even without knowing more about its authorship, publication or veracity, and setting aside what McGillis brings to the table (his desire for power was set years before he'd heard of Agnika), the fact he finds it in Iznario's library speaks volumes. Biographies are not neutral objects. As alluded to above, the act of public remembrance shapes culture and hence society. I think it both reasonable and interesting to look at McGillis' arc with the assumption the book is ultimately commensurate with everything he was reacting against.

What would have happened had McGillis won is another moot question when the narrative hinges specifically on his failure. But a land of competition, overseen by the supreme authority of Gjallarhorn, where the only moral law derives from the dreams of the strong?

Perhaps the most damning thing to be said of McGillis' principles – of Agnika's principles – is that they would produce a world functionally identical to the one we started with.

———

Postscript:

For the sake of absolute clarity, I do not believe whether a story is about capitalism or not has any bearing on its quality. My discussion of the other Gundam shows is intended purely to highlight what I see as a fundamental difference between what they are doing and what IBO is. I don't think it is a problem that G-Witch is a personal/courtly drama, or that Wing is focused on fighting in a more philosophical than material sense, or that the franchise has overall tended towards addressing conflict per se, without any serious interrogation from an economic angle.

Stories can only fail at what they attempt, not at what they don't.

I nevertheless stand by what I said. A piece of fiction concerned merely with some generalised notion of 'human greed' is not about capitalism in any meaningful sense, and I fear that's where most Gundam shows land, one way or another, when they touch on corporate interests.

[Index of other writing]

[beevean]

Opinion: How could Sonamy progress in IDW?

[note: the original article was written in Spanish by @latin-dr-robotnik​]

Today we’re going to discuss a recurring topic on my blog, with a more complete perspective.

Today’s article was inspired by an ask I got a few days ago about my possible perspective on the future of IDW Sonamy. I thought it would be interesting to revisit and expand this topic, because it’s still something of great interest for thousands of fans all around the world, and because SEGA has recently adopted a very peculiar position on the couple and their dynamic. As I detailed on my article SEGA and its most recent Sonamy side – more canon than ever, the dynamic has been going through a shift that can be distinguished into two main parts: 1) the commercial potential of Sonamy as a merchandising and marketing icon; 2) the stability of the interactions in the comics, in the short monthly stories on Sonic Channel, and so on.

That being said, there’s no need to mention that we’re going to focus entirely and nothing more than on this ship. I usually suggest other articles for those who prefer to read on other subjects, but today I will recommend our Discord server [translator’s note: the server is mainly Spanish-speaking], where discussions about ships are limited on their own canal that is separated from other themes: general discussions, music, fangames and mods, fanfics, fanart and even gaming in general. As you know, if you want to bring something else to our community, or just avoid talking about Sonamy, you’re more than welcome to join. Now, back on track.

What’s going on with Sonamy in IDW?

To recap what’s happened in these last months: Sonic and his friends finally got through the nightmare that was the Metal Virus, he and Amy hugged a few times, and since very recently they’ve been involved in a short arc about Chao races in Twinkle Park Zone, with a sinister background. In these last months after the eradication of the virus, there have been much closer and warmer interactions between our two hedgehogs, and I suspect that part of this is what inspired that question in the first place: what’s going on?

As I commented in the article where I proposed that Sonamy is “more canon than ever” (I know that it’s an exaggeration, that was the point), SEGA is treading carefully and the main canon seems to be willing to negotiate a more open representation of the relationship between the two in their different continuities, from best friends to something more. What I did not expect to happen was reading an answer from Evan Stanley (artist and writer that replaces Ian Flynn) about their dynamic, summing it up with “they like each other”.

The redrawing of Sonic’s expression when Amy hugs him in a recent drawing of hers made people wonder if this was yet another example of SEGA’s “censoring” (comparison below), to which Evan answered that it was modified to keep Sonic in character: he’s a guy that does not show much emotional vulnerability or too many negative emotions, and this is why sometimes the artists have to adjust WIPs to keep in line with this official point of view. Evan assured that this is not any kind of confirmation that Sonic does not like Amy, and doubles down by highlighting that in the official material, in the wikis and on Sonic Channel they show that, and I quote: “They like each other, but Sonic just isn’t the kind of guy who is going to make goo-goo eyes at Amy or perform grand acts of romance. If you wanna see that, that’s what fan works are for.”

And Evan’s words are a great way to sum up what’s going on with IDW Sonic right now. When it comes to interactions, they’re working with two characters who deep down “like each other”, but both show it in their own way. Amy is much more proactive when it comes to express her feelings, while Sonic only sometimes shows a glimpse of his feelings, with a smile or a small gesture. But at the end of the day they’re still friends and, depending on the situation, the comic can focus more or less on these details.

Comparison between the first sketch showed by Evan and the final product. The modification of the expression was minimal: Sonic’s slight blush was changed into a smile, maybe being a little overwhelmed by the gesture of affection.

The “progression” of the dynamic in the future

A good part of the answer to this question is based on my idea that right now, when it comes to Sonamy, we reached some kind of comfortable plateau. What am I referring to? To the fact that there have been a lot of varied interactions in these last 3 years of the comic, and they’re everything I could have asked for and then some. When we talk about Sonamy in canon, as Evan said, we don’t tend to hope for great romantic gestures from Sonic, we barely even ask for a look that hints that they understand each other beyond what it seems at first glance, so the fact that the IDW continuity is betting so much on this ship is basically a dream come true. For this reason, I don’t think things will change much in the future.

If I have to make a prediction on Sonamy’s future in IDW, I believe that there are still a lot of possibilities that our known writers (and maybe new writers!) could explore more, to see what makes this dynamic work so well. Actually, about 10 years ago, Ian Flynn wrote that if they could take advantage of the abilities and similarities between the two characters as adventurous spirits and with a strong moral sense, they would be “like poetry in motion”. This largely happens in IDW Sonic if you look carefully, but there are always new stories to tell and opportunities for them to work together and explore a bit more their strong bond, stronger than other friendships that they share. When the next major arc comes (which seems to be getting closer), they could explore aspects of their dynamic that are slightly more experimental, like being separated for extended periods of time and under dangerous situations… as long as they don’t turn it into a painful experience like the Metal Virus arc.

What Ian Flynn wrote about Sonamy, what works and what doesn’t. This was written in 2011, when Archie Sonic was still the major comic continuity, and when, according to Ian, Sonic was still “tied” to Sally Acord, leaving little room to the writers’ opinions.

The reality is that I see a stable future for the dynamic in the IDW universe. Sonamy is not fit for a lot of drama (fights, breaking up, etc.) without feeling forced or completely out of place, and only fanfics and fanart could be capable of capitalizing on this kind of content. On the other hand, for reasons I detailed in past articles, SEGA would not dare to alter the established order of the dynamic, let alone new that they managed to recover and maintain control over the ways Sonamy is being portrayed everywhere. SEGA won’t pull a Dragon Prince, which ended up confirming the main ship and then they made them go through a crisis and break up in a heartwrenching way in the graphic novel that acts as a bridge between season 3 and 4.

In short

The future of IDW Sonamy is looking bright and stable. I don’t think there will be serious changes to what we’re experiencing right now, and this is why both Evan Stanley and Ian Flynn agree that the dynamic is practically in the perfect place, keeping in line to how SEGA wants them to be represented together. This means we won’t see more affectionate gestures than what we’re seeing now (I doubt we’ll ever see again Sonic offering Amy a rose like in Sonic X), but it also means that we have now a solid basis for our expectations. In the now old IDW Sonic #2, Sonic and Amy had the chance of seriously talking a bit about what they thought of each other, with Sonic being determined to keep living life his own way (although he wouldn’t mind Amy to accompany him… or even suggesting himself that she could come), and Amy being determined to respect his way of life, because that’s what she loves about him, and she doesn’t want him to change. Since then, all we have seen and we’ll keep seeing in the comic is a consequence of this key moment; the two philosophies that they have and they share, in a constant back-and-forth with some tense moments and some cute moments.

An interesting detail that wasn’t included in the ask and that makes me think is the possibility that all of this will feature in the games as well. This is a completely different matter for another day, but I like to think that there is the possibility that we’ll see SEGA being more interested in inserting more Sonamy in the games, even if in an indirect way like in Sonic Unleashed and its emotional support, especially if the rumors that we’re about to get a soft-reboot are true. Romance is not something Sonic games are famous for doing well… at all, but that doesn’t mean it would be a bad idea to add a little sprinkle of IDW Sonamy in the mix.

And finally, I think I’ve talked enough about this topic, As you know, we’re waiting for some news, and I hope we’ll see each other again here or on our Discord. We’ll see if on this 25th something interesting happens. In any case, see you next time!

The moment that shaped the present and future of their entire relationship, 3 years ago.