#i have the leemujin service playing in the background and aah!

[jaeyooniverse]

sharing a refreshing melona bar with jaeyoon in honor of our 4th anniversary!! 💞

I'll try to not be super embarrassing in case someone actually reads this

I think I've mentioned this before but it's still mind boggling to me to think that at this point, I've been stanning for more than half the time sf9 has been active (as sf9). When I first joined I was, as everyone is when they first start out, a baby fantasy who felt like she had so much to catch up on, like I wasn't "that big of a fan" bc I wasn't there since the beginning. At the time sf9 was turning 3 and already finding their sound and style. But even if I was "late" I'm so happy I've found them and decided to be a fan. The way everything happened by chance I really feel like it's fate, the way everything played out. (My friend pointed out how I stanned seventeen in 2017 so of course 2019 would be the year for sf9😂) but I had been listening to them (the sensuous album, at least) since late 2018 but it wasn't until enough that I decided to check out more of their stuff. Even then, I think I was ready to just be a casual stan. But then they announced their tour and my friend and I had to go !! So to prep I binged their content bc I needed to know the people I'm about to see lolll

So that takes me to jaeyoon.. I was watching Star Road and got to his turn when he had to resist laughin/smiling while other members tickled him.. honestly I really cannot explain why I fell for him the way I did...but for whatever reason the moment I saw him I swear my heart skipped and I was like HIM. That's my sf9 bias!! And he's been able to maintain the title ever since (yes we've had some bias wrecking but....we won't talk about that rn dgjfgsksh) and seeing him in person!!!! Just made it even more clear how attracted I was to him like not just abt his appearance but his character I just have always loved his energy and personality he's always such a wonderful and endearing person to watch how could I NOT love him??? But then as I started to really stan (literally the moment I left the concert I was like I HAVE to stan now) I just found more and more things i love about him. His relationship with the other members, his laugh, his singing, the way he both has a great sense of coordination (we stan dancer jaeyoon in this house) but also is just such a clumsy mess at times and how awkward he is sometimes but like he's not even awkward he's just HIM idk like do you understand ??? Jaeyoon I love you, and I love how you love! Where else will I find a man who decorates 89 bags, posts 89 pics for his birthday? How hard he worked on binnies bracelet even after it fell apart like twice😭😭😭

OK maybe it's not the healthiest coping mechanism to use someone as your comfort but he really is my kpop comfort boy 😭😭 (I do think a good part of it is his voice, it's just so comforting to me. Or is it comforting bc I like him? Do i like him bc he's comforting? It's been so long I'm not even sure anymore) which is why it really was kinda hard on me when his enlistment was announced like I was literally in the middle of looking at a photo book and was ON HIS PAGE when the enlistment notice was posted. Idk if the timing makes it better or worse tbh. (Definitely worse) I feel silly about it sometimes bc it's not like he's someone who is physically present in my everyday life, it's not really much different from before, just watching him from behind my screen. But there are moments I miss him and hope he's doing alright, bc that's just how people feel when they care about someone right? And i care about jaeyoon a lot, and I'm really thankful I have had him and all the sepgus to make me laugh, smile, and cry, to connect with fellow fantasy, over the last few years.

Maybe I'm just extra sentimental bc my ult group who got me into kpop also just had their anniversary recently (iykyk) so my emotions are HIGH but also I've just. Been in such a tough space lately I'm always sensitive tbh LMAO

Anyway i don't really know where I was going with this. Tldr I love jaeyoon so much and hope I can support and be a fan for years to come ♡