#i have such a backlog of things to post right now it's insane

[aurosoulart]

it's Halloween in November because Akuji was a little late in setting up her candy shop in my house... but it was worth the wait! 🎃🍬🍭🍫

Akuji is my OC! her 3D model and the surrounding scene was created entirely with a virtual reality headset.

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Sketchfab model credits: Yanez Designs, Scott VanArsdale, LittleWhiteElk, Ms.Bewwy

[shoko-komi]

The Komi Report - Communications 444 & 445

This week in Komi Can't Communicate:

Tomohito Oda beats a dead horse...

...and the girls gamble.

Read It: Mangareader Mangakakalot Viz Media (North America Exclusive) Mangadex (English updates are dead, but there’s the backlog; and Spanish + Portuguese language updates)

As a Valentines Day gift, Oda has given me a headache.

I'll split this report into two parts

The Rumikai stuff

The Girl Talk Meeting

So skip to the second half if you're sick of reading my opinions on Rumikai. You won't hurt my feelings, because I understand alksdnlaknsdlak

So, after last weeks train-wreck I made two attempts at interpreting what was going on between Rumiko and Wakai; my first in the main Komi Report, and my second in an additional post that I made after I'd had time to reflect on the chapter and hear other people's thoughts. For brevity I'll assume you've read those.

Turns out I was sort of half right the first time, and half right the second. Rumiko was planning to turn him down...

...but was waiting until after the big soccer game. Then, when Wakai made his declaration, she said "uh-huh" because she was happy about it, and apparently couldn't resist.

What an absolute stinker.

Wakai's declaration was a poor thing to do for the following reasons:

It put immense pressure on Rumiko, who had explicitly told Wakai that she was feeling conflicted and needed time and space to think so she could give him a clear answer when she was ready

Wakai's choice of words was far too intense. "I play for you now" and "be mine forever" are insane things to say to a girl you barely know and with whom you aren't involved romantically

(A brief aside; mind that it's perfectly fine for characters in stories to do bad things and make bad choices. I lay out Wakais sins not to criticize him as a person, but to criticize the narrative choices Oda made in constructing and representing these events.)

However, as I initially thought, Oda does want the audience to view the declaration as straightforwardly romantic. Does he think this is what girls want?

Big declarations like this are common in romantic media - speeding to the airport to catch them before they board the plane, crashing through the window to stop the wedding, etc - and it can be very romantic, but only when the narrative is constructed properly. The characters involved need to actually like.... be in love. As well, there need to be outside factors that are preventing them from being together. That way, the declaration of love comes across as "we're in love and I won't let anything take you away from me" rather than what we have here, which is "I'm attempting to force you into a relationship by overwhelming you suddenly".

This plot-line is so severely undeveloped and mismanaged that Wakai just comes across as creepy and uncomfortably intense. Which could have been interesting if that had been the intention, but obviously it isn't. The fact that Rumiko is written to have enjoyed it and still might like Wakai makes me so frustrated I'll need to lie down after this. Oda also wrote the other girls to be all for it...

Sasaki and Kato would never endorse this.

I won't mince words; this whole thing reeks of misogyny. Reeks of it. I'm not joking nor am I being hyperbolic. There is the distinct odor of misogyny through this whole thing. Oda has a confusing track record when it comes to writing women; sometimes he's remarkable, other times he's about average for a shōnen mangaka (which is to say; bad). This is the worst he's ever done, in my opinion.

Not only that, but this apparently isn't even the climax of this story. Oda is still dragging his feet on the will-they-won't-they question. Rumiko is still conflicted. Pardon my language, but for fucks sake. Please let this end.......

If I had to guess, I'd say this dead horse will likely be beaten all the way to the end of the series. The love triangle spanned their entire second year (which was great because the love triangle ruled). To me, this plot appears to be the third year equivalent and will follow the same structure. Fucking huzzah.

Honestly, with any future Rumikai chapters I may just skip them. it depends on whether anything worth talking about happens, but I predict that any further developments will just be the same old thing. I'm thoroughly tired of them and I don't expect I'll have anything else to add. But we'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Let my blood pressure ease and fall aklsndlaknsdlaknsdlkansd

I've been really looking forward to the Girl Talk meeting about the TadaKomi kiss ever since that happened. It's unfortunate that a certain wet blanket was thrown over the whole thing, but I'm still determined to enjoy the fun bits of these chapters. So without further ado, let's let our hair down and have some fun:

asjdnalsdnlasndlansdlansdja

I would have bet my gummies on mint; if someone is anticipating their first kiss, it's likely they'll have a mint beforehand so their breath doesn't smell. My first kiss tasted like fried chicken and orange fanta, because that's what she and I had been eating beforehand.

alsdnlajsdnklajsdnajsdajkd wait a minute... when did Ase have her first kiss? That's new information!!!! How exciting!!!!

Girl I want to know the end of that sentence.

It says "the end" there, which is confusing. But it also says this is only the beginning of the investigation, so hopefully next week will continue it. We need to hear the story of Ase and Naruses first kiss. I like those two, so I'm keen for that.

--------------------------------------------------

Parting thoughts; there were bits to enjoy in these chapters, but they lie in the shadow of something truly dreadful. Hopefully we'll get more of the Girl Talk meeting next week, but there's also sure to be a chapter about Wakai's perspective on the soccer game event sooner or later. I'm feeling drained.....

My dear reader, I wish you a happy Valentines Day. I'm married to the Komi Report and cannot take on a lover, but it's still nice to celebrate love. Please enjoy some friend chocolate I made for you

Stay safe. I'll see you next week.

[jasntodds]

Caving In [9]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 12,892

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, canon typical things, canon violence, it’s not explicitly said how jason knows about deathstroke so in my fic it’s public knowledge that aqualad was killed by deathstroke, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, a little bit of angst

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: So, I did some math and figured out I’m almost done writing this?????? I have a backlog of chapters written, just not edited so that’s kind of insane lol I’m very excited about it because I have so many more plans!! This chapter picks up with season 2 episode 2!! I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Over the next month, a routine develops for Gar and you. A few days of the week, Gar finds himself hiding out in your room. You were right, Dick, Jason, and Rachel don’t tend to bother him when he’s in your room. And you actually did make a sign that reads ‘keep out, ☠️’ and hung it on your door. It’s double-sided so the other side just says your name. You flip it around when Gar comes to escape and he finds it equally fun and sweet.

At first, you’d watch a movie or two and talk about whatever was bothering Gar. He’s gotten better at talking about it and it’s been a lot of him talking about Caulder House and his own nightmares of the day with Trigon’s bullshit. You didn’t know he had nightmares, too and you wonder how he hides it so fucking well. You’re not nearly as good at it as he is and you worry about him. You never want Gar to turn as bitter and calloused as you are about the world. He’s too good.

But, after the month, the talking and movies turned into something more comfortable. Gar will bring in one of his video game consoles. You will play with him sometimes but other times, you just like to watch. Gar likes Resident Evil and that’s a game you definitely prefer to watch. And Gar has his own collection of comics. You turned them down at first with not being a huge fan of reading, but after reading over Gar’s shoulder a few times, you got into The Walking Dead comics. Apparently, reading comics is a lot easier than reading a book. So, now it’s turned into Gar playing video games and you sitting with your legs on his lap, reading one of his comics in a comfortable silence, a joke here and there thrown around.

Training has also been going well for you. Your hands have healed and so have the rest of your injuries. You keep up well with Gar and Rachel now, the extra training sessions with Jason and Gar have helped significantly. And you’ve picked up knife throwing again, something you learned back in Gotham from one of the street kids you used to run with. You’re rusty and not a sharpshooter by any means, but it’s something. It eases some of the tension you feel in your shoulders.

When you can feel yourself wanting to lose it again because something brings back too many memories, you take Jason up on his offer to let you take it out on him. You’ll go for an extra sparring session sometimes, just the two of you and Jason helps you work through it without talking about it. It always makes you feel better and if you’re being honest, you really like the support system you have with the two boys. It’s something you never thought you’d have after your mom died but every day you’re so grateful for the two of them and even for Dick because he brought you here. That’s something you have no idea how you’ll ever be able to thank him for.

It’s a morning session now though and you’re in the training room with Gar and Jason while Rachel and Dick are out getting coffee. Dick has this bright idea to start blindfolding all of you to train because you can lose any of your senses at any time and you need to be prepared. Jason, of course, is really taking that to the next level by making Gar not have a blindfold while he does and making you sit out.

“Why do I have to sit out for this?” You fake-whine from one of the benches while Jason ties his blindfold behind his head and Gar stands in front of him looking bored.

“Because you have that combat shit. It defeats the purpose.” Jason snips back.

“Well, I don’t have to be blindfolded.” You mock him.

“Just shut up and watch us. Take some notes, you fucking need it.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Jay.” You groan, leaning back.

“When I give the word, come at me.” Jason says to Gar, holding his wooden sword out, ready to fight. “And don’t hold back.” He says, you rolling your eyes into the back of your head. Gar nods, looking bored and displeased with doing this. “Did you just nod?”

“Yeah, got it. Just, uh, don’t hold back.” Gar makes a jittered movement as if to be mocking Jason, you almost snicker from behind.

“Don’t kill each other please.”  You mock.

“Shut up, Y/n!” Jason groans, tilting his head back. He takes a second to breathe as he gets into position. “Go!” Jason yells.

Jason swings the sword at Gar, but Gar just hits it out of the way while Jason’s sword is an inch from his face. Gar’s eyes widen a bit in shock and amazed, looking back at you. You make the same expression, humming in response. Gar pushes the sword from his face taking a step forward with a swing at Jason, only for Jason to move out of the way in time and jabs his sword across the front of Gar’s chest. Gar waves a hand in front of Jason’s face, making sure he can’t see anything. Gar gives you a questionable look and all you can do is shrug your shoulder just as confused as he is. Surely, Jason has to be able to see him because this is just weird. Jason talks about your combat clairvoyance, maybe he needs to look in the mirror. Jason pulls his sword back, Gar takes a step back and then the real sparring begins.

Jason and Gar move around the mat, blocking each other quickly. It’s definitely a sight to see because Jason might as well not be wearing a blindfold. Gar can’t get a single hit in and barely dodges Jason’s jabs. It’s as if they’re doing this perfectly choreographed dance. It’s equally entertaining, impressive, and attractive. The two boys sparing is always a big heart-eye moment for you. But, somewhere along the way, Jason seems to have lost track of his rhythm, completely flipping away from Gar, giving Gar the perfect opportunity to bonk Jason on the head with his sword. You start laughing while Jason rips his blindfold off, spinning around to face Gar.

“Hey, fuck man.” Jason gasps at Gar, clearly annoyed.

“You said don’t hold back.” Gar defends, you getting up from your bench to join the boys.

“What were you doing? I was fucking blindfolded!” Jason yells.

“You told him to do it!” You defend Gar. “He just tapped you on the head, chill the fuck out.” You can’t believe he’s actually mad about this. It was his idea to not have Gar wear a blindfold.

“Stay out of it!” Jason snaps, turning his attention back to Gar.

“You said:” Gar starts before he, poorly, mimics Jason’s voice with the same jittered motion as before. “Don’t hold back.”

“Should I get the hose?” Rachel comes strolling in.

“What’s going on?” Dick asks, following right behind.

“Jason’s being a baby.” You quip, crossing your arms as you stand on the other side of Gar.

“Hey, fuck you!” Jason’s eyes nearly bug out of his head as he snaps at you, Gar moving to block Jason’s view of you. Jason leans further forward to see you. “You could have warned me! Or fucking helped instead of doing nothing!”

“You told me not to!” You scream at him. “You said no because I have the combat thing.” You mock his voice, with a grimace before Gar stands further in the way to block you from Jason. He’s not sure who he’s trying to block from the other really, Jason is beet red and you look like you might strangle him.

“Um, hello?” Dick states, waiting for one of you to answer his previous question.

“We did what you said,” Jason turns his attention Dick. “The blindfold thing then he went nuts on me.”

You groan loudly, putting your hands on your face in frustration.

“He said don’t hold back.” Gar repeats, this time his voice louder and higher pitched, the annoyance growing.

“Then why do we even learn to fight like this, man?” Jason argues, throwing his arms to the sides. “Hey, it’s idiotic.” He takes a step forward, pointing at his head with wide eyes, almost a crazed look in his eye. “We have eyes.”

“In battle, anything can be taken from you.” Dick’s voice is calm as he walks further onto the mat. “Your hands.” Dick says before quickly twisting Jason’s arm and grabbing the wooden sword from him, making it look effortless. He moves to Gar, quickly using the sword to strike at Gar, Gar blocking a few times before Dick gets the sword right between Gar’s feet, just missing him. “Your feet.” Dick swings the sword at you, the sword aimed just a few centimeters from hitting you right between the eyes. You take a step back, eyes widening and crossed as you look at the sword. He swings the sword at Rachel, doing the same gesture. “And your eyes.” He pauses before stepping back, and putting the sword down. “No matter what is taken, you must be able to keep fighting and win.” Dick faces the boys and you again. “Alright, get changed. Attack scenarios in the tech room in five minutes. Then breakfast.”

You, Gar, and Rachel don’t argue and instead, leave the training room without another word, leaving Jason behind with Dick. This is a pretty normal thing. When training doesn’t go exactly how Jason wants it to, which is normally that he doesn’t win all the time, he gets mad and blames everyone else for it. This time, it’s just that it was Gar who wasn’t blindfolded. It’s gotten a little worse over the last month, Gar and you are pretty sure he’s just stir-crazy from being at the tower and not having any real crime to fight. He’s probably bored of sparring with you and not being in Gotham so the two of you let it go easily.

“Why does Dick sound like Daniel Larusso?” You ask as the three of you head down the hallway.

Rachel lets out a chuckle. “He literally sounds like Mr. Miogi.”

“He says we watch too much TV, maybe he needs to stop watching the Karate Kid and Cobra Kai.” Gar laughs.

“Maybe he doesn’t know what to do so he’s looking to them for inspiration.” You jokes.

“Someone should tell him it doesn’t work like that.” Rachel adds in.

“Awww, but it’ll just break little Dicky’s heart.” You mock, placing your hands over your heart with a fake pout.

“Yeah, I’m looking to be on his shitlist.” Gar chortles as the three of you reach your rooms.

“He would never put you on his shitlist.” Rachel scoffs, Gar raising a brow at her.

“He’s taken you right on under his little batwing.” You add in.

You joke about Dick but over the last month he’s grown on you quite a bit. He’s really not so bad when you’re not making him mad. He’s kind of making it obvious that he really wants to make sure you’re all ready before he sends you out on some type of mission. He can also even be funny sometimes and partake in jokes. He’s even joined all of you for a movie night so he’s grown on you but you have to poke fun.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Gar questions, looking between you and Rachel.

Rachel and you look to each other from across the hall. You shrug. “Well, I think we mean he’s really nice to you and sees you as responsible.”

“Yeah,” Rachel nods in agreement. “You always do what he says, besides that one time.” Rachel looks to you.

“Which was my fault so Dick didn’t fault you and probably admires your ability to risk getting into trouble with him to protect me and Jason.” You explain. “And it was just sparring.”

“That’s not true.” Gar defends. “I don’t always listen to him.”

You and Rachel exchange another look. “When was the last time you didn’t do what he said?” Rachel asks.

Gar stands for a second, trying to remember the last time he didn’t listen to Dick and as he thinks about it, you both have a point. He does do what Dick says all the time, without even questioning him. It’s who he is though. He exactly like to disobey authority. Sneaking out behind the Chief's back was different, this is Dick. And, every time someone has went against what Dick has said, shit hits the fan so maybe Gar is onto something.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Gar chuckles, looking to the floor and back to the two of you.

“It’s not a bad thing.” Rachel reassures him. “We’ll never be in trouble.”

“It’s not that bad being on his shitlist.” You state. “But, yeah, it’s not a bad thing. It’s probably better to not have him mad, though it is very fucking funny sometimes.” You gain a sinister grin. 

“Okay, don’t listen to y/n.” Rachel rolls her eyes with a sigh. “It’s not funny and it’s best for everyone to not piss him off.”

“I haven’t pissed him off in like a whole week, that’s a record.” You hold your head up high, Gar chuckling under his breath.

“You are proud of that, aren’t you?” Gar asks.

“Kind of.” You giggle. “No, but really, Rachel is right. It is better not pissing him off, he’s kind of cool when he’s not mad.”

“Yeah, I’m not looking to make him mad anyway.” Gar shakes his head. “You and Jason have that handled.”

“They are very good at it.” Rachel mutters.

“Teamwork.” You grin.

“Okay, get changed.” Rachel cuts the conversation. “Otherwise he will be mad because we’ll be late.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You joke, walking into your room, Gar following your lead and heads into his room.

Later that night, the four of you found yourselves doing your own things. Gar and Jason made up while you found yourself in Rachel’s room. Rachel is sitting at her desk while you’re laying on Rachel’s bed, upside down with your head off the end of the bed, looking at Rachel. Usually, when the boys hang out, the two of you spend time together. You like to give Rachel shit for being Dick’s lap dog but you do like her and enjoy spending time with her. Rachel really likes having another girl around, the month she spent with boys was not the best. She loves them, besides Jason, but they’re a little much sometimes. Too much testosterone in one place for her liking.

“So, when do you think Dick will let us do something?” You ask, scrolling through your phone, keeping your head hanging off the end of the bed.

“Not you, too.” Rachel groans.

“What?” You question, moving your phone to get a better look at Rachel. Rachel just widens her eyes and raises her brows. “No, I mean, I’m just wondering. I’m not gonna go rogue again, I promise.” You roll your eyes, a smile coming to your lips.

“Mhm.” Rachel hums. “I don’t know. Do you really think we’re ready?”

“Oh, I mean I think I am.” You quip. “Ya know, given the track record.” You scoff. “Jason’s probably been ready in his entire life. You and Gar seem to be fine.”

“Yeah, but we don’t stand a chance against Dick even if it’s us four against him.”

“We could if he’d let us use our powers.” You wave your left hand at Rachel, your palm glowing green.

Rachel rolls her eyes. “I don’t have that kind of control, Y/n.”

“True,” You start, pulling yourself up and flipping around to lie on your stomach and face Rachel. “But, if he would let you use your powers maybe you’d gain some control.”

“That’s not how you did it, right?”

“No,” You scoff. “But, it’s probably different for you. You were born with them and your powers are clearly stronger than mine. Maybe not using them makes it worse.” You offer. “Your side.” Your words go hesitant.

Rachel’s eyes widen, surprise and a hint of panic consuming her face. “How did you--” 

“Don’t freak out, but I saw them when we were sparring. I didn’t tell anyone or anything.” Your voice is nonchalant but understanding.

“Thank you.” Rachel’s voice is soft. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Sure.” You shrug. “What’d you wanna talk about?”

Rachel gains a cheeky smirk and you can already tell where this is going. “So…about the boys.” Rachel’s smile splits her face.

You let out a dramatic sigh. “Yes, Rachel?”

“What’s going on?” Rachel laughs.

“Whatever do you mean?” You play dumb, an innocent smile playing on your lips.

You know Rachel isn’t oblivious. You tend to flirt with both of them and you are almost always with at least one of them. Over the last month, it’s just become a little more obvious.

“Come on.” Rachel laughs. “Do you like either of them?”

Rachel is curious, sure but she sees how you flirt with Jason. It’s different with him than it is with Gar, anyone could see that. Gar is Rachel’s friend and while she likes you, she is kind of worried that you’re playing a game with the two of them. If you hurt Jason, fine, he’ll probably deserve it but not Gar.

“Hmmm.” You hum. “Oh, yeah.” You nod quickly.

“Which one?!”

“Both.” You state as if it were obvious.

“Right, okay.” Rachel nods, trying to wrap her head around someone actually liking Jason. Gar she completely understands but Jason? “Both of them?”

“I know, you’re really trying to not gag at Jason.” You laugh. “He’s, ya know, a smartass and hot and shockingly funny.” You neglect to include every nice thing Jason has said to you and done for you, something you like to keep like a secret. “And Gar, well, I don’t think I need to explain Gar.”

“Okay, so what are you gonna do about it?” Rachel asks. “A love triangle.” Rachel has a teasing grin with her words.

You grimace. “Ewww, I hate love triangles.” You groan. “I know what you’re gonna say, but humor me and tell me what you think.”

“Well,” Rachel leans forward, resting her elbows on her thighs, hands holding her head. “Fuck Jason,” Rachel starts, getting an eyebrow raise and a devious grin from you. “Not literally, oh my gosh.” Rachel rolls her eyes as you chortle. “He’s an asshole to everyone, including you.” Rachel argues against Jason.

“Right, yeah, but he is also nice to me and I’m also kind of an asshole to him.” You defend with the scrunch of your nose.

“Yeah, but today, you didn’t even do anything and he was throwing a fit because you did what he asked.”

“Okay,” You nod tilting your head to the right. “That’s a fair point, actually. Continue.” You put your elbow to the bed, using one hand to hold your head up.

“He calls us freaks.”

“I think Jason thinks everyone is a freak though.” You state.

“Maybe, but it’s still hurtful.” Rachel argues.

“Doesn't really bother me." You shrug casually. "Also, fair though.” You nod in agreement.

“He didn’t stop you from going to Jerry’s which was a bad thing, Y/n.” Rachel points a finger at you, disapproval on her face.

“But he didn’t let me go alone, Rachel.” You mimic her actions.

“But, but,” Rachel starts. “Gar would have tried to stop you and went with you if you were still insistent on it.”

“Wait, how did you know Jason didn’t try to stop me?" You furrow your brows, putting your hand back down.

“No one believes he tried to stop you.” Rachel laughs.

“Alright, you’ve got me there.” You state. “But, you have to give me one pro to Jason otherwise it sounds too biased.”

Rachel pauses trying to think of something good to say about Jason. She actually didn’t hate him originally. She kind of liked him actually but after the whole Trigon situation, he’s been pretty nasty to her. They can get along and be civil of course, but when Jason’s mad, Rachel tends to be the person he’s the most mean to and Rachel has grown to think he’s too entitled and too arrogant. Neither of them have actually bothered to have a conversation about any of it or figure out how they can get along better.

“I am biased.” Rachel laughs, not able to come up with anything. “He’s just so,” Rachel grimaces. “He hates me for no reason.”

“I meeeaaannnn….” You wince.

“What? Did he say something?” Rachel leans forward and if you know something, she is all ears.

“No, but it’s not that hard to figure out from where I’m sitting.” Your eyes go a little wide and you’re surprised Rachel hasn't figured it out.

“Well, tell me! I don’t like that he hates me.”

You pause and for a second you debate saying anything. It's not really your place. But, Jason also hasn't told you why he hates Rachel. This is just you putting all of the pieces together. Rachel is your friend anyway and it would be a lot easier if the two of them got along so, you decide to tell Rachel what you think.

“Okay, from where I’m sitting, it seems like he hates you and thinks you’re a freak because he was possessed, right? Seems like the issues that surround you guys is because of that night, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Gar is a bit…wishy-washy about Dick. He listens to him maybe a little too much sometimes. He’s protective of you, sure, but he’s a different kind of protective when it comes to you. Jason….hates you. I’m just saying, all of you have that night in common, right?” You ask and Rachel nod. “And how was Jason when you first met him?”

“Fine, he was…Jason.” Rachel laughs softly. “Cocky, charming in his weird way, a bit braggy about Robin but kind of funny.”

“Okay and he was chill with you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, what happened between Chicago and Trigon?”

“He helped Dick with something and Dick sent him back to Gotham. He showed up at my mom’s with Dawn and Hank, Trigon was there already.” Rachel explains plainly.

“Mhm, and you and Gar were?” You gesture a palm out, moving it in front of you.

“Trying to escape.” Rachel furrows her brows, still completely following.

“Okay, so follow me: Jason gets sent to help Dick by Bruce because Jason is following in Dick’s footsteps as the new Robin. He’s a shiny new Gotham toy. He helps Dick just long enough for Dick to not be interested in getting to know the kid who’s taking over for him because Dick quit and sends him back to Gotham but Dick keeps you and Gar around, right? Two kids he, otherwise, has no relation to. At least Dick and Jason were taken in by Bruce and have Robin in common so they are, actually, like brothers. But, you’re just some kid who found Dick and Dick decided that was good enough for him to bring you under his wing and then Gar got to tag along and neither of you were sent back to where you came from, just Jason despite Jason offering his help.” You explain, speaking with your hands.

“Right, okay.” Rachel nods along.

“So, fast forward, and Jason shows up to help again. Only this time, instead of helping he gets possessed and starts trying to kill his best friend. He nearly beats his best friend to death because this random ass girl Dick plucked off the streets has a demon dad. THEN, because none of that was enough, none of that was good enough for Bruce and Bruce sent him here to be with, the older brother who didn’t want him in the first place and he gets to be with the person who his brother chose over him and got him possessed.” You finish your explanation.

“Uh…” Rachel pauses, blinking slowly trying to process everything. “I…I didn’t think about any of that. How did you even figure that out?” Rachel knows you and Jason are close but she didn't expect you to have this long explanation that seems to make sense.

“Yeah, I mean I get it. It happened to you, too. You were front and center. It’s not always easy seeing that kind of stuff when you’re in it. But, that’s just what I can gather from it. Jason seems to be someone who needs attention and just wants to know he’s doing a good job.” You sway your head back and forth slightly. "Gar's talked about it and Jason mentioned it which, when Jason mentions something like that, I think it bothers him at least a little bit."

“Okay, so what should I do? I really don’t want to hate him and fight with him all the time.”

“You could talk to him.” You state as if it's the most obvious answer in the world.

“Because that’ll go over so well.” Rachel mutters.

“No, you let him just talk his shit. Go on his little rant and swear fest that he does. He’ll call you a freak. He’ll just rant for like five minutes or whatever and then you apologize. Even if you don’t want to, you apologize to him and then he’ll feel obligated to apologize to you and then you can have a conversation about it. You just have to let him blow his steam.”

“You really get him, don’t you?”

“Trauma bonding will do that.” You chuckle. “As I said, sometimes being an outsider is easier. I didn’t know all that bullshit or what happened before. Plus, we do have Gotham in common.”

“So, I should just talk to him.”

“Yep. It really is that simple with him.” You let out a sigh as you nod. "He is not that complicated."

“Okay, I’ll give it a shot.” Rachel leans back in her chair. “Okay, I have something good to say.” Rachel states and you gesture a hand out, encouraging her to proceed. “He talks to you and he’s honest with you. And if he talks to you, I think that means he understands you like you do him. So, that's three for Jason.” Rachel gives you a proud smile.

You laugh “Yeah, he is and he does understand, actually.” You nod softly. “You may pitch your case for Gar now if you want.”

“For starters, he is cute!” Rachel squeals without missing a beat. “His green hair,”

“Looks so good on him!” You mimic the squeal.

“Yeah! And he is so protective and kind, to everyone even people who aren’t so great. He’s open and brave.” Rachel’s face softens. “He seems to make you feel comfortable.”

The corner of your mouth twitches into a soft smile. “Yeah, he smells like strawberries.” You laugh softly. “He does make me feel really comfortable, and safe. I feel like I don’t have to worry about anything. Um…one of my first nights, I had a nightmare and I thought Jerry was in the tower. He held my hand and searched the tower with me, knowing Jerry wasn’t around but he never made it weird or made me feel bad about it. He just…did it.”

There’s a warm smile that comes to Rachel’s face. “Hey, Y/n.”

“Hm?”

“I think you have an answer.” Rachel laughs softly. “If you really wanna go for Jason, that’s fine. I will never get it but if it makes you happy, I get it. But, you didn’t have that kind of thing to say about Jason and you got all soft about Gar.”

You pause because you do have similar stories to say about Jason. Jason still reads to you and he still lets you take out your aggression and feelings on him without ever questioning it. He was there through you beating up Jerry in the best way he could have been but you can’t tell Rachel that. You know Jason doesn’t want to be seen as soft for anyone, not with his friends anyway, and those things feel like little secrets between you. They’re like little passwords into your friendship that only you two have. It’s your things. Just yours and you’d really like to keep it that way. So, you have to shrug and nod along. You do really like Gar, you aren’t arguing that anyway. But, you do wish Rachel could see the Jason Todd you are so fond of. It’s not fair that Jason doesn’t even have a fair shot in a conversation like this. He deserves some type of fairness.

“I don’t know if I should do anything about it anyway.” You let out a sigh of defeat.

“What? Why though? You like them and it’s pretty obvious they like you, too.”

You shake your head. “I like how it is. If I decide to tell either of them I like them and something comes of that, it might ruin stuff with the other one and I don’t wanna ruin anything. I think the both of them have had too much ruined in their lives.”

Rachel shakes her head. “If you want to go for Gar, you should talk to Jason first. All jokes aside, I see how he looks at you and I see how he treats you when you guys think no one is looking. I don’t actually think you liking Gar will ruin it.”

Your brows furrow with Rachel's comment. The way Jason looks at you? You didn't think Jason really looked at you any kind of way. But, it's interesting because Jason is still relatively guarded. Easy to figure out when it comes to the trauma and figuring out why he is the way he is but everything else, he has this ten-story wall up. He'd probably combust if he knew Rachel saw him looking at you in any kind of way. But, it's something that warms your heart and makes you smile.

“You think so?” You ask, your face soft.

“Completely unbiased and actually thinking decently of Jason, yes.” Rachel gives you a reassuring nod. “Do you like Gar more though?”

Your cheeks start to burn. “I don’t know. I think so because it’s just…different with him. It doesn’t feel like a game with him.” You scoff. “I am endlessly afraid I’ll ruin him though.”

“What do you mean?” Rachel’s voice goes sad.

“He’s been through so much and so have I but he finds it in himself to be there for everyone, all the time. He seems to be accepting of everything that’s happened to him and I’m so afraid that I’ll never be that and I’ll just….ruin him with my pessimism and bitterness.” Your eyes go sad with the last statement.

Rachel wheels her chair over to you. “You can’t ruin him. He’s Gar.” Rachel gives you a soft smile. “He’s a lot stronger than you think. I think he’d do anything for you.” Rachel puts her hand over yours. “I saw the way he stepped between you and Jason today. He knows you can handle yourself but he did it anyway, I don’t even think he noticed that he did. You won’t ruin him.”

“Thanks, Rachel.”

“You guys would also just be super cute.” Rachel gosh.

“Oh my gosh.” You hang your head with a laugh.

You feel a little better getting to talk about it with Rachel. You would never bring it up on your own. Talking about your romantic feelings is not something you like to drown people with. And you feel bad for liking both boys. It’s not your fault, but there’s a guilt that echoes in your stomach when you think too long about it. Talking to Rachel though, helped.

You adore Jason. You adore who he is when no one else is around. But, maybe that’s the thing. Jason is different people around different people. You don’t know if he’d ever be able to be the person who he is in private with you publicly. You don’t want to play a guessing game with him. It’s too much for you, right now. But, with Gar, Gar is just who he is. Sure, he censors himself sometimes but everyone knows exactly how Gar feels about everything and knows what he likes and what he doesn’t. He’s transparent. He is comfortable in the best sense of the word. He makes you so happy and he never makes you mad. He makes your stomach twist with knots and bubbles. You swear you could never stay sad as long as you’re around Gar.

But, despite what Rachel said, it scares you that maybe your trauma could be the straw that breaks him. People can only take so much and he’s been through it all. What happens if dealing with all your shit, in a romantic way, breaks him? You would never forgive yourself for it.

A knock sounds on Rachel’s door, Rachel telling them to come in. And speaking of Gar, he walks in with two plates containing a slice of pizza on each plate. He’s all smiles as he walks in.

“I thought you guys might be hungry.” Gar offers the plates out to the two of you.

“Thanks, Gar.” You take one of the plates from him and this is a perfect example of why you like him. Always so caring and attentive to other people.

Rachel takes the other plate. “Thanks.” Rachel offers him a smile.

You take a bite and wince, Rachel eyeing you and then her own slice of pizza. You chew slowly, giving Rachel a thumbs up while Gar holds back a laugh. Rachel’s eyes narrow slightly as she takes a bite. Immediately, Rachel winces, pausing her chewing and you let out a laugh as you choke down your bite.

“It’s so bad.” You laugh.

“Who made this?” Rachel asks before spitting out the piece into the trash.

“Dick did.” Gar explains, laughing with you both. “The crust is made out of cauliflower.”

“Gross.” You grimace.

“Why would somebody do that?” Gar asks, the laughing subsiding as if he’s grieving for the pizza that could have been.

“If we hate eating, then we have more time to train.” Rachel says.

“Because he’s losing his mind.” You’re still grimacing about the pizza. The pizza never did anything to Dick and yet, he did this.

“Okay, so it’s not just me. He’s totally obsessed, right?”

“Like I said, Daniel Larusso.” You state.

"He just wants to make sure we're ready." Rachel sighs.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Gar chuckles softly. “What’re you guys doing anyway?”

“Talking shit.” You wink at him, Gar’s posture stiffening and you do love making him squirm.

“Just talking.” Rachel laughs softly.

Gar nods slowly. “Right, okay.” He clears his throat. “Movie night?” Gar asks.

You look to Rachel, a cheeky smile on display. “I’m always down for a movie night. Rachel?”

“Of course, we can make some popcorn since the pizza is a bust.” She laughs softly.

The three of you head to the living room, you and Rachel tossing your pizza slices into the trash in the kitchen before joining Gar in the living room. When you get to the couch, Jason and Dick are watching the TV, eyes glued to the screen. You sit next to Gar, following his stare on the screen while Rachel sits on the ottoman.

A police chase ensues on screen, Dick almost blocking the entire TV as he stands watching with his arms crossed like a dad in his fifties.

"We're live at a downtown car chase featuring a stolen vehicle. Police now seem to have the suspect cornered." One of the news reporters says as footage from the top of a parking garage shows a black car surrounded by cop cars.

As all of you watch from the tower, a girl with grey hair gets out of the car and without hesitation, starts beating up the cops. You watch in a state of awe and shock. Whoever that person is, they are very ballsy. Jason leans his elbows on his knees, getting this cheeky half-cocked smirk as he watches.

"Who the hell is that?" Rachel asks.

"Someone who has no self-preservation." You mutter.

"A total badass." Jason gawks at the screen.

Your heart sinks a bit with the comment. Other people can be a badass, that's not it. It's the way he's looking at the screen. His eyes are wide and he's in such a state of awe, it reminds you of the look he gave you after you beat up Jerry, after the initial shock of it. He's got a thing for violence, clearly and maybe it hurts a little but you will never admit that. Instead, you keep watching as the girl continues to beat up the cops, taking down every one of them who comes at her.

"The suspect does appear to be female. She's got silver hair. She does seem to be injured. We're not sure how badly." The news reporter says as the girl looks directly at the camera from the helicopter, her eye left covered with bloody gauze.

She is very pretty.

"Wait for it. We're not sure where she thinks she's going." The news reporter says as the girl runs to the car she 'stole' and leaps off the building.

Your jaw nearly drops as you watch. On second thought, Jason might have a point. That's pretty badass. Who just jumps off a parking garage? She's either crazy or knows something no one else does. It's impressive. Gar looks worried about the girl though and Rachel just looks shocked. Jason, on the other hand, is almost matching the expression on your face but with a bit more awe and infatuation.

"I'll be back." Dick says without looking back and just walks right to the elevator.

"Okay, what the fuck did we just witness?" You ask, looking around the room.

"Someone scared for their life, probably." Rachel says softly.

"A badass kicking cops' asses! It was awesome." Jason cheers.

"I'm with Rachel." Gar adds. "She didn't look badass, she looks scared." Gar glares at Jason.

"It was still awesome." Jason defends.

"Think Dick is going to find her?" You question, ignoring the back and forth between the other three.

Without a second thought, Gar closes his eyes and nods while Rachel and Jason say yes in unison.

"He has a thing for strays." Gar says quietly.

"Noticed." You laugh softly as you look down to your lap, a somber expression coming to your face.

"You guys still down for the movie?" Jason changes subject, sitting back in his seat. Rachel is the only one who catches the look Jason gives you. It's subtle, but his eyes linger on you just a second too long and his jaw clenches just slightly while his eyes soften just a little.

You shrug. "Might as well."

Gar and Rachel agree, Rachel moving to sit on the other side of you. It's Gar's turn to pick a movie. He chooses Back To The Future, a true classic. The three of you sit back and start to enjoy the movie together. You think about if Dick finds this girl. Will it change the dynamic? You’re actually really comfortable here and you enjoy where your friends are with everyone. If Dick brings someone else in, will that change? Of course, you knew you wouldn't be the last stray Dick brought home but it's weird with the potential to not be the new person.

Just as the movie ends, the elevator brings Dick up. The four of you all rush over to see if he found the girl who leaped from a parking garage. All four of you stand and watch the doors open, Dick carrying the girl who's unconscious. Gar, Jason, and Rachel jump into action to help but you step aside. It's not that he found her and you’re worried about the situation. It's that you wonder if this is what it was like when Dick brought you back. Everyone comes to see the new person, wonders if she's okay, who she is, and where she came from. What she is. It feels too real and it brings back every bad thought you had prior to being in the tower.

It feels too exposed and you remember how terrifying it was that first day. Surrounded by new people you didn't know if you could trust but having nowhere else to go. That, in and of itself, was also traumatizing even though it worked out for the best and you love it here. It was just scary so you stand back as Dick asks to Gar to come with him since Gar has some experience with injuries from staying at Caulder House.

"Hey, you okay?" Rachel asks seeing your distant expression.

"Huh?" You shake your head, almost not catching Rachel talking. "Sorry, yeah." You nod quickly.

"What? Scared you're gonna be replaced or something?" Jason jokes. His tone is his usual sarcastic, airy tone he uses when he's just trying to mess around. Not even a flirt, just joking but it strikes a nerve a little.

"Fuck you, Jason." You bark at him.

Rachel's even taken aback by the remark. This is what the two of you do and you’re the only one that fires back. Rachel expected you to say something about Jason being replaced but that's not it. And Jason is completely shocked, almost frozen in place. He was just joking and he knows you know that.

"Okay, fuck you." Jason snips. "It was a fucking joke."

"Well, maybe I'm not in a fucking joking mood, dude." You roll your eyes before storming off towards your room.

Jason stands for a second, looking at Rachel for help. "Did you guys have a fight or something?" Rachel asks, thinking you didn't because surely you would have mentioned that when you were weighing the pros and cons of the boys.

"Not that I know off." Jason scoffs. "Did you?" Jason's voice turns accusatory.

"What? No!" Rachel defends. "She was fine when we were hanging out."

Jason sucks in a breath. "Alright then." He shrugs, trying to play it off as if it's not bothering him but Rachel can see through it. Gar is helping Dick anyway.

"Just go talk to her." Rachel rolls her eyes, her words reluctant.

She's rooting for you and Gar. You're softer and cuter. Rachel, as your friend, is worried that if you decide you like Jason more and want to see where that goes, it won't end anywhere but in shambles. It's more than just Rachel and Jason not getting along. It's that Jason is a walking fuckboy. He's the dangerous rebel parents warn their teenagers not to date because they'll get in trouble and get their hearts broken. Maybe Rachel thinks too little of Jason but with Gar, she's sure Gar wouldn't hurt you, ever. But, you’re her friend and Jason at least understands you better than anyone. She isn't going to get in the way of that.

"You're her friend." Jason holds his head up, as if trying not to let on how he's definitely going to your room when Rachel leaves.

"So are you?" Rachel narrows her eyes at him. "I'm gonna go to my room and wait for Gar to be done, you talk to Y/n." Rachel nods once at him before turning and heading towards her own room.

Jason waits until Rachel's door closes and then he goes straight to your room. He thinks he's coy but he's almost as transparent as Gar is. Jason isn't subtle even when he's trying to be. Rachel isn't blind. She sees the way he watches you. Both of the boys do. Rachel has caught Dick nearly choking and grimacing at the three of you with your flirty jokes. But, to Jason, it's like he exists in a tinted bubble where no one can see any of it.

"Come in." You call out as you’re laid on your back on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

Jason opens the door, walking in and shutting the door behind him slowly. "How did you--"

"I heard Rachel shut her door, figured you were behind her." You don't look at him, just keep your stare on the ceiling.

"Alright, well what the fuck was that out there? I was just fucking with you like always." Jason huffs, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"It was just weird." You mutter.

Jason walks to the foot of your bed before plopping beside you, laying in the same position. His arm brushes yours as he turns his head to look at you and then back at the ceiling. The ceiling is white and boring, a stark contrast to the decorating you’ve done to your room. There are sketches across the walls you did with Dick's permission. Movie posts for some of your favorite movies are hanging sporadically on the walls. Your shelves have Funko Pops from some of your favorite shows. A few snacks sit on your nightstand. The room is yours, it's a home within a home but the ceiling is a sterile white, cold compared to the rest of your room.

"Like..." You pause. "Is that what it was like when he brought me back?" You ask, looking at Jason.

Jason looks back at you, your eyes about as welcoming as a hurricane. "Yeah." He answers honestly. "It was weird. You looked dead, though." Jason looks away from you, not able to hold eye contact.

It was weird when Dick brought you back, worse than weird. Dick went out to run an errand and then when he came back, he had a burn and you who literally looked dead. You were covered in bruises and cuts. You were limp and lifeless, without even knowing you, Jason is positive it broke everyone's hearts to see you. It didn't matter if you had powers or if you could fight, you needed help. It was one of the moments since Bruce sent him to train with Dick that he really viewed Dick in a different light, kind of like a hero without the mask (not that he will ever admit that). He just helped this random girl off the streets despite the fact you burned him. It was different. It was sad and scary.

"Gee, thanks, Jay." You roll your eyes, looking back to the ceiling.

Jason sighs, sitting up and turning to lean on his elbow, looking at you. "Look, I'm saying it was fucking freaky when he brought you here because you were really hurt." Jason explains and you catch a hint of sadness in his eyes. "And fucked up." Jason adds in. "He asked for Gar's help then, too. You know the rest, I guess. Gar wouldn't tell us what was going on with you."

"Why?" You ask.

Jason wrinkles his face. "Because you were fucked up."

"Fair." You nod before you let out a sigh. "I just hope she's okay, ya know?" You say. "It's like...seeing it just felt so fucking weird but I hope whatever happened wasn't too traumatizing. It made me....mad again. I haven't been mad like that since Jerry."

Jason nods with understanding. Seeing you like that, it was worrisome. You’ve got a fire and that’s why Jason finds you fun but, it’s how it went. It doesn’t matter that Jerry deserved it and you deserved to get revenge. You didn’t feel better afterwards because it didn’t erase what happened. And Jason doesn’t want you to ever feel that way again. He was the only one that was there for it.

"Wanna work it out?" He gains a smirk.

You decide to challenge him now. He came to check on you and just that bit of talking did make you feel a little better. It's not about being replaced. You know Dick won't replace any of you. It's just a bit triggering being on the other side of it this time. But talking with Jason helps.

"Work it out how?" You match his position, making your faces closer.

Jason's voice hitches in his throat. "However you want, babe."

The term babe is something he's grown accustomed to using when he's messing with you. To you, that's all it is. He's using it to get under your skin because it works. He gains this cheeky, taunting grin of accomplishment every single time he says it because you squirm in your seat. Your heart always skips a beat with the pet name. It's always this mix of wanting him to shut the fuck up and wanting to hear it in a way that's not him just messing with you, but like he means it. And you never know what to do about it.

"Shut up." You roll your eyes, pulling away. "You know what I mean, shithead."

"I call you babe, you call me shithead, huh?" Jason chortles, tilting his head to the right.

"If the shoe fits, BaBe." You mock, leaning in again, eyes wide and you see it for the first time.

Jason squirms and suddenly, you completely understands why he calls you it. It's the way his face brightened but his eyes shot open like a deer in headlights. It's the way he jerked his head back and you could visibly see him hold his breath for a second. It's a little funny and it's really cute.

"No, you can't use my thing against me!" Jason yells, a smile tugging at his lips with burning cheeks.

"Hmm, too late." You give him a confident smile before sitting all the way up.

He's fun. He's fun to mess with but you’re not sure if there's anything more than there. You aren't sure if you like him because he's hot and because he's fun or if there's something below the surface. He is this unknown iceberg that you’re trying to navigate around in the dark. There is always more than what's on the surface but you can't see how much. You can't tell if what you do goes more than a foot under the water or if it's nearly touching the ocean floor. The only way to know is to dive in, following the rugged surface as far as you can, risk drowning. Maybe some risks aren't worth taking.

"Get changed, meet you in the training room in twenty minutes." Jason sits up and gets up off the bed, a sadness filling his heart but in a way, accepting that it'll never be him.

He sees the way you look at Gar. He sees the way you and Gar are and how it's always more than a joke and maybe if Jason cooled it down and was just real with you in a normal situation, you could have that, too. If he could just, throw the sarcasm overboard in a normal situation, he could dive in with you. But, he's never been a very good diver.

"Yes, sir." You give him a fake pout and Jason narrows his eyes, the pounding in his chest, echoing through his ears. All he can do is roll his eyes at you before heading out to his own room to change.

You and Jason get changed and you head out of your room first. When you reach the kitchen, Rachel is grabbing a snack. You ask if Jason has been by yet but apparently he hasn't so you sit down to talk with Rachel while you wait. While you wait, Gar comes walking in from the other hallway, clearly done with whatever he was doing with Dick and then Jason walks in as if everyone were on cue. The four of you decide you'll all train together since you're actually due for a training session again anyway. But, before you can get going, you hear the sound of shoes. The four of you peek around the corner of the kitchen to see the new girl trying to sneak out of the tower. All four of you follow her to the elevator, staying back while Dick comes in from the other hallway.

"Going somewhere?" Rachel asks as the elevator denies the girl access to leave.

The girl turns around as Dick steps forward. "We need to talk." Dick says, the girl glaring at him with the one eye that’s not covered.

Dick sends the four of you off to the training room while Dick talks with the new girl. The four of you spar for a little while, making little to no conversation between you. The four of you are mostly just wasting time until you can find out what Dick and the new girl talked about and what's going on. You all have mixed emotions about it but all four of you are curious and intrigued. So, you train for an hour until you and Rachel ask Gar to grab a snack and a drink from the snack counter around the corner.

You sit on the floor, your hands resting behind you while your legs are stretched out and Rachel sits on a bench. Jason continues to practice with a wooden stick, more or less haphazardly while you wait for Gar to come back. Gar is only gone a few minutes before he strolls in with a box of Cheez-Its and three Gatorades.

"So, what do you think is going on out there?" Gar asks, handing Rachel the box of Cheez-Its and you a Gatorade.

"If it's anything like when I got her, bombarding her with too many questions." You say, opening the Gatorade.

"He's probably just trying to find out who she is." Rachel states.

"So, bombarding her with too many questions." You repeat as Gar sits on a bench.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" He asks.

"He sent you to talk to me because I refused to talk to him so kind of." You chuckle.

"He's giving her a cell job. That's what he does cause he can't resist a stray." Jason says sounding annoyed.

"As if it's a bad thing." You quip, gesturing your left hand around the room. "We were literally all strays."

"Don't take his side." Jason mutters, a whine in his voice.

"I mean I knew he'd be bringing in new people. I just didn't...I guess I just didn't think it'd be so soon." Gar explains with the shrug of his shoulders, leaning his elbows on his knees.

You tilt your head slightly to the right trying to figure out if this is what happened when Dick brought you back. They had only been together a month before you showed up so the fact Gar thinks it's still soon, hurts a little. It all worked out okay with you being here, so what's the difference between you and this new girl?

"We didn't even know if we can trust her. Hell, we don't even know what the fuck she is." Jason raises his voice, growing more dramatic.

"What she is, is a person who needs help." Rachel's voice is stern as she looks at Jason.

"Or," Gar starts, holding up his fingers, Gatorade in hand. "Is she a person?" Rachel tilts her head, giving Gar a displeased look.

"You guys sure do know how to make people feel welcomed." You roll your eyes. "Is this how you guys acted when Dick brought me here?"

Gar gives a yikes expression. "Well....yeah." He nods sheepishly. "We didn't know you."

"You burned Dick." Rachel adds.

"You also looked like shit." Jason points out, a grin on his lips.

"So? It all worked out with me. She's just a person." You defend the new girl.

"How did she survive the jump?" Gar leans in, voice raising slightly.

"So, you think she's a metahuman?" Rachel asks.

"Yeah, or, or an alien." Gar throws his arms to the side, defending his point. "Like Kory."

"I need to meet Kory, she sounds fun." You state, Gar gives you a questioning look, shaking his head before his eyes widen, as if asking you to agree with him. You let out a sigh. "That's kind of fair though."

"Really?" Rachel snaps her head in your direction.

"You said it yourself, I did burn Dick. If she's also a metahuman or....an alien..?" You give Gar a questionable look before looking back at Rachel. "We don't know."

"Well, if she was like Kory, those cops wouldn't be alive right now." Rachel argues, looking back to Gar before grabbing a few Cheez-Its and offering the box to you.

"She can fight." Jason chimes in, taking a short break from fighting the air. "Alright, I'll give her that. Whoever she is, she's had training."

"Did you guys see her eye? When Dick was changing the bandages?" Gar asks, clearly going somewhere with this.

"What about it?" Rachel asks.

"It was gone." Gar scoffs, almost amazement in his voice. "But the wound had already healed." He leans forward as if not completely believing what he'd seen.

"Well, that's pretty sick." You give an approving smile.

"You serious?" Jason asks.

"She's been here one hour and the three of you are already obsessed with her."

"You don't think it's sick as fuck that she jumped from a roof, into a building and her eye is already healed? That's awesome." You defend your stance.

"She's a freak." Jason huffs, his voice a higher pitch this time. "Look my vote is we kick her ass out." You scrunch your face at Jason just as Gar starts.

"Okay, wait, who says we even get a vote?" Gar asks.

"Who says she even wants to stay?" Rachel argues. "Look, it's hard to believe but maybe her idea of paradise isn't sharing a bathroom with you, Jason."

"Well, I think she should stay, just for the record." You state. "Assuming, she isn't going to kill us all."

"You do?" Jason scoffs.

"Uh, yeah, as the newest person Dick found on the streets, my vote is yes." You hold your head up high.

"It'd be easier if we knew who she was." Gar states.

"I know how we can find out exactly who she is." Jason gets that knowing smile on his face, the one that always says he's up to no good.

"Do I get to participate this time?" You quip knowing exactly what Jason is up to.

"I thought you said it was wrong." Gar points out.

"Well, yeah," You scoff. "But, I wanna know if she's gonna kill us, especially if Dick gives us a vote. We should know who's sleeping under the same roof as us, right?"

"See, she gets it." Jason says with pride.

You roll your eyes at Jason before looking back to Gar. "You didn't get caught the first time."

"Alright, fine." Gar agrees, still not liking the idea of going behind Dick's back again to look into someone but he's not gonna say to Jason and you.

"You knew and you're okay with it?" Rachel questions. Rachel knows she would at least be pretty mad if the boys went and looked into her instead of just talking to her. She's surprised you aren't mad.

You shrug. "I mean, it would have been nice had they just asked but let's be honest, I wasn't gonna tell them shit anyway. So, I get it. They had to make sure I wasn't a serial killer or some psycho."

"We could talk to her. Maybe she's more open than you." Rachel suggests as you hand the box of Cheez-Its back to her.

"I don't know, Rach." Gar sucks in a breath. "She didn't seem too willing to talk since she was...trying to leave."

"I'm not helping," Rachel shakes her head with disapproval.

"No asked you to." Jason chortles.

"Shut up, Jason." Rachel groans.

"Can we just get back to training?" Gar groans, growing tired of the conversation.

You get up with the suggestion. "Please."

The four of you start your training again until Dick walks in to tell you you call it a night. The four of you go your separate ways to your rooms and the bathroom for your nightly showers. All of you choose to leave the girl alone in her room. Dick said she isn't up for much talking but he's got it all handled, whatever that's supposed to mean. So, the four of you wrap up your night and head to bed.

It takes you a little while to fall asleep. Ever since beating up Jerry, you’ve slept a little better. Nightmares still rear their ugly head about once a week but it's better. It went from every night to once a week, which is an improvement. Beating up Jerry didn't help you feel better about what you went through but knowing that he got to suffer, knowing that Dick turned him in and you saved a little boy from the same treatment, it did ease some of the weight from your bones. It's just a matter of dealing with and working through the trauma he left you with and actually being at the tower surrounded by these four strangers, which helps because to some extent, they all get it.

No one wakes up one day and decides to be a hero. There's something deeper about it and for the five of you, it's trauma. The want and need to not let another innocent person live with what you went through and there's something remarkable in that. But, that doesn't erase any of the trauma you've all gone through. And for you, seeing the new girl brought in in the same way you were, it brings everything you tied down back up to the surface. Another nightmare scares you awake.

You sit up straight in bed, eyes wide but weighed down with sleep. Your heart is thundering in your chest, the room dark beside the city light illuminating your room through the window. Your hands are shaking in your lap, glowing green, something you’ve never even told Gar about.

When the nightmares are really bad, it's as if it triggers the acid and your hands start glowing. Luckily, it's never been bad enough that you actually produce the acid and burn through the bed. But, it is something that scares you even more. If nightmares can trigger the glow, what else can? And does that mean you’re losing control of it? If you don't have control, then what? You don't actually want to hurt someone, especially by accident. But, you choose not to wallow in it because it's not going to do you any good and it's only going to make you feel worse. So, you snatch your phone from the charger and head to your door.

You tip-toe through your door, closing it behind you and make the short walk to Gar's room. The door is unlocked just like it always is and the pinball machines give a blue glow to his room with the city lights shining through his windows. A comforting smile tugs at your lips as you shut the door. The green-haired boy is curled up on the left side of his bed, facing the door and Gar always look so comfortable sleeping, lips parted lightly. He's a lazy sleeper and you think it's the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

"Gar?" You whisper softly, sitting on the edge of his bed. Gar doesn't even budge. "Gar?" You call, shaking him slightly, stirring him awake.

He peeks an eye at you, his hair a complete mess. He gets this lazy-tired smile on his face as he sees you. "Nightmare?" His voice is rough and drenched in sleep, something you swear you could play on repeat for hours on end and never get bored. You nod softly, the smile falling slightly. Gar lifts the blanket for you. "C'mon." He mumbles, inviting you in.

"Thank you." You whisper to him, getting up and sliding under the blankets with him.

Gar turns over on his back, stretching his arm behind your head so you can lay on his chest. "Anytime." Gar looks down at you, this cute smile on his face that has the power just to make the world seem like a better place. Gar smiles at you and everything seems like it's gonna be okay, like nothing in the entire world will ever be scary again. There's a kind of magic about him and you adore every aspect of the boy with soft eyes and green hair.

You cuddle up against his chest, resting your arm over his torso and lightly gripping his t-shirt. You can hear Gar's heart and it's the most comforting sound you’ve ever heard. It's slow and steady. You remember the first night you went to him after a nightmare and it was awkward.

You didn't know what to do or say. All you knew was that he'd make you feel better and you didn't want to be alone. He did make you feel better but you were both...tripping over your own feet trying to figure out how to sleep or how not to. Gar didn't want to make it weird or be too in your face about it and you weren’t sure if you wanted to be too close him. It was a mess, actually but you settled on his chest anyway because that's what felt comfortable. That poor boy's heart nearly beat out of his chest for almost half an hour. He was so nervous.

He'd never slept with anyone like that before and he just adores you with everything in him. He never wants to mess anything up and he didn't know what to do. Gar followed your lead and it made him more nervous than he's ever been. But, there was a sense of comfort in it because you chose him to be with when you’re scared. Something about him, made you comfortable enough to fall asleep and sleep soundly. Something about him, felt right to you. And that makes Gar's chest swell every time you come to him for this. He wishes you'd do it more than just when you have nightmares but he never has the guts to ask. So, he wraps his arm around you while the steady pace of his heart lulls you to sleep.

You wake up first, before either of your alarms. You've moved throughout the night, you’ve rolled over, facing the door while Gar's arm is lazily draped over your waist. You can hear him softly snoring behind you and you carefully roll over as to not disturb him. The peacefulness of his face makes you smile as you watch him. And for a second, you almost forget there are other people in the tower. You forget about your nightmare just a few hours before and everything, right now, feels so right.

You feel safe and happy and comfortable. And calm. Your brain is quiet with him. It's not bitter or cold or full of range. It is at peace with every horrible thing you’ve seen and been through. Just...peace. And maybe that's what it's all about.

Maybe, it's not about flirting all the time or who makes you question the intentions of everything for fun. Maybe it's not about shared trauma or experiences. Maybe, it's just about who's there for you when everything feels like it's caving in. Maybe it's about who sticks around when the darkness closes the blinds. Maybe it's just about the person who lifts some of the weight from your shoulders when everything gets a little too heavy and maybe it's about the person that makes you comfortable and finally lets you feel peace. Maybe that's what it's all about.

But, that’s all just maybes.

"Do you always stare at me when I sleep?" Gar mumbles, voice drenched in sleep as he opens his eyes, blinking slowly at you.

"No." You scoff, feeling your cheeks start to burn. "You were snoring." You brush it off.

"Sorry." Gar chuckles softly.

"It's okay, I don't mind." You give him a smile. "You're cute when you're sleeping through, you look peaceful."

Gar's eyes widen and you called him cute. What does he do? "Oh...yeah?" Gar asks, feeling his breath hitch in his throat. "Thank you. Uh, so do you." Gar offers, as if waiting for you to laugh or make a sarcastic comment but you don't. Your smile is sweet like honey.

"Thanks." You look away just as yours and Gar's alarms start blaring at full volume. "Ew." You grimace, rolling over and grabbing your phone from his nightstand, Gar doing the same. "Want pancakes?" You ask, looking back at him.

Gar raises a brow, you’ve never offered him food that wasn't a snack before. "Sure? You can make them?"

"Wow, rude." You let out a laugh, your voice still filled of sleep. "Yes, the fuck I can, Garfield."

Gar laughs, the use of his full name makes flowers bloom his chest. He doesn't normally like when people call him it but you? You call can him Garfield when it’s like that. "I was just checking! Vegan pancakes?" Gar raises a brow.

"Hey, there, what kind of monster do you take me for to offer you pancakes and not offer a vegan option?" You quip. "Of course."

"Sweet." Gar beams at you and you offering to make him pancakes makes him feel really important. "Do you need help?"

You shake your head. "Nah, consider it a long overdue thank you for letting me sleep in here and for dealing with my bullshit."

"I don't mind." Gar says with ease as a gentle laugh leaves his lips. He never minds being there for anyone, but especially you.

"I know but I'm gonna thank you anyway and make you pancakes because you deserve it." You give him a cheeky smile before tossing the blanket off of you and getting up from the bed. "You can watch though." You give him a wink, the heat rushing to Gar's cheeks and you watch his eyes go wide, mouth moving not knowing to say. You scrunch your nose as you laugh. "You're also cute when you get flustered."

Gar lets out a sigh and he thinks you might be the death of him one day. "I'm not flustered." Gar defends, sitting up before rubbing his hands over his face.

"Mhm, sure, you're not." You nod, words leaking of sarcasm.

"I'm not!" Gar defends further with a tired laugh.

"Okay." You shrug, turning on your heels. "Sure." You snicker. "I'll meet you out there."

"Yeah, okay." Gar nods, falling back onto his pillows as you leave, leaving his door slightly ajar.

You make your way to the kitchen, Dick is, of course, already in there with his coffee. It's been a month and somehow you still almost always catches him while he's in here. Surely, this man has other things to do in the morning but no, he is always here. But, you just 'morning' him and walk over to the drawer with the pans, pulling out a griddle. Dick watches you with a raised brow, casually sipping his coffee. You grab the ingredients including regular milk and soy milk for Gar, one of the non-dairy options Dick keeps stocked for him. You continue to rummage through the kitchen, casually glancing at your phone for all of the ingredients.

"What are you doing?" Dick finally asks.

"Making pancakes." You say with confidence, measuring the flour into a large mixing bowl.

"Right." Dick clicks his tongue. "Since when do you cook?"

"Why is everyone so shocked?" You scoff, measuring the milk for Gar's before grabbing a sticky note and a pen from the counter, marking the batter with ‘Gar’.

"You haven't cooked anything that doesn't go in the microwave or isn't frozen since you've been here."

"Well, that's because it's convenient." You quip as Rachel strolls in, sleep still in her eyes. "I like convenience."

"Is she cooking?" Rachel asks through a yawn.

You look at her with wide eyes, pausing what you’re doing. "Okay, seriously?"

"What the fuck is going on?" Jason chortles as he walks in. "Since when do you know how to cook?"

"That's what I said." Dick raises his mug at Jason.

"You know what, none for any of you!" You glare at them, pointing at them with a whisk, some bits of batter dripping off the end. "I'll clean that."

Rachel gains this knowing smile as she sits next to Dick. "Wait, are you making Gar breakfast?" She asks and your cheeks burn. Jason's heart plummets into his stomach. He always knew but it stings.

"What makes you say that?" You ask, trying your best to not be obvious.

"You have the soy and dairy milk out?" Rachel points at the different kinds of milk. "I also heard you leave his room."

"Okay." Dick says loudly, getting up from his seat. "I don't need to hear more of that. Good luck making breakfast. It's very nice of you, Y/n."

"Thank you, Dickolas." You give him a thankful nod.

"Left Gar's room, huh?" Jason asks and Rachel regrets saying anything.

"Yeah...." You say quietly, going back to your batter.

Jason knew, of course he did. You mentioned it to him in passing. You sleep in there when you have a nightmare. And neither of you hides it. It's not some big secret or anything but with Rachel actually mentioning it, someone else mentioning it, it's like Jason is suddenly much more aware of it and it hurts a little. But, he reminds himself that he never had a shot anyway.

He plays this fuckboy thing up so much but he's never been much good to anyone anyway. And he knew it wasn't him because of the movies and the way you talk to him. Jason hoped it'd be him, but the pit in his stomach told him it wasn't so the only thing he can do is brush it off because that's what he does. And you see it across his face, guilt flooding your stomach, almost making you nauseous but you ignore it and continue making breakfast because you like Jason and you like Gar. But dealing with that early in the morning doesn’t sound pleasant, so dodges your sinking heart.

"Want any?" You ask the two of them.

"Please." Rachel gives you a soft smile.

"Yeah." Jason nods, pulling out his phone and scrolling away.

You continue making breakfast as Gar strolls in, a bit surprised to actually see you at the stove. You really don't cook and it makes Gar chuckle to himself. Dick actually does a lot of the cooking but it really is rarely ever good so you normally end up with a frozen pizza or takeout. So, this is nice and something that Gar never really expected from you. You’re so snippy and sarcastic that whenever you decide to be soft, it throws him a bit but in the best way. You’re full of surprises and Gar wants to know all of them.

As the four of you sit down with your breakfast, Dick walks out with the new girl, explaining they were leaving for a bit. The girl made a comment about not wanting to stay which prompted Rachel to ask why. The girl didn't have much of an explanation, looking more like she just wanted to leave and not turn back. Dick didn't really say much else though and just like that, they were gone.

"You still wanna know who she is?" Jason asks, stuffing pancakes into his mouth.

"Obviously." You nod.

"Yeah." Gar sighs, eating his own pancakes. "Hey, these are really good." Gar compliments you.

"Everyone is so shocked." You laugh.

"How'd you learn to make them?" He asks.

"Oh, I can follow a recipe." You chortle. "I can make a sandwich from scratch, everything else I just Google."

"That makes sense." Rachel nods.

"Nothing?" You look to Jason, waiting for a quip. You fully expect him to boast about how he could do this in his sleep if he tried. Or how he’s had better pancakes from Denny’s or IHOP, something sarcastic at least.

"Eh," Jason shrugs. "I can do better." Jason gives you a smirk, choosing to shrug it off. 

"Mhm. Sure ya can." You nod.

The four of you finish up your breakfast and make your way to the new girl's room where Dick changed her bandage. Gar saw Dick toss her bandage in the trash and just like they did with you, Gar snatched it and brought it to the comms lab. Jason takes it from Gar and uses some of the technology to grab a blood sample to run through the computer. Gar takes a seat in the chair, you standing behind him and resting your arms on the back of the chair. Jason stands off to the side, eyes glued to the screen as Gar types away. Jason starts pacing a bit behind you as the screen starts loading, trying to find information on the girl.

"You're gonna burn a hole into the floor, Jay." You state, glancing back at him.

"Yeah? What if this is her plan, get Dick alone and attack him or some shit."

Gar and you both look over your shoulders at him. "I don't think she's gonna attack him, man." Gar lets out a sigh.

"Yeah, I think we're safe there." You nods your head while the two of you look back at the screen, the computer making a noise as it loads.

"Come on." Jason paces twice more before standing next to Gar. "Come on."

"Match identified." The computer says once everything has loaded.

"Rose Wilson." Gar says, leaning forward and clicking a button. "And that's her dad, Slade Wilson."

"Well, fuck." You let out a scoff.

"No...fucking...way." Jason says, eyes wide as he puts his hands on the computer panel, leaning forward as if not believing what he's seeing.

Gar looks between the two of you, confused. "What?"

"Deathstroke." Jason says, something cross between amazement and shock coming over his voice.

"Bad dude from, what? Five years ago?" You look to Jason.

"Think so, yeah. He killed one of the Titans." Jason explains, keeping his eyes on the screen.

"Wait, how do you know that?" Gar looks behind him at you.

"I had a lot of free time, Titans, Justice League, Robin, ya know? Found it all interesting. Deathstroke killing one of the Titans was pretty public. Aqualad, right?" You glance at Jason again for confirmation.

"Yeah." Jason nods.

"So, this girl, Rose is Deathstroke's daughter?" Gar asks, turning back to the screen.

"Seems that way." You let out a sigh.

"Think he did that to her?" Gar's voice is pained with the question.

"Wouldn't put it past him." Jason adds. "Dude is fucked up."

"We have to tell Dick, then. He has to know." Gar urges. "Maybe we could look further into him.

"Yeah, do that." You agree with him and the three of you watch, reading what shows up on the screen while you wait to inform Dick.

If Deathstroke is involved, surely that's something Dick would have clued you all in on if he knew. So, now it's up to the three of you to bring it to Dick's attention before Rose gets too close, just in case.

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[naughtybg3confessions]

Just wondering if you've a large backlog of confessions? Saw you wanted more woman confessions and I've submitted a few a while back, but none of them have been published, so not sure if you've just not gotten to them or if they've been eaten by tumblr.

You can check our pinned post to see roughly how many unpublished confessions are in the inbox. I say roughly, because we're frequently getting more, and some of the messages are just questions/screenshot submissions.

But let's say 470 is the highest estimate currently, and I post 12 - 30+ confessions a day (on average about 20). So with 20 confessions a day, it would take roughly 23 days to see your confession posted if you send one in right now. Within that time, we'd also have 1 or 2 character appreciation days where 69 confessions are posted each, and if you made a confession about that character, it could be posted earlier.

If the wait gets too insanely long, I might eventually recruit volunteers to make confessions and increase our posting volume for a bit. I'm hesitant to bring in any mods, because they'd need admin privileges to view the inbox, which would be giving enough power to destroy the blog to what are essentially strangers, even if they seem really cool it feels kinda... like a risky idea? Idk man, I've seen some crazy shit happen in all my years on tumblr.

Tumblr does occasionally not display messages, but eventually corrects itself if I refresh the page frequently. It doesn't seem like any are getting permanently deleted, but tumblr isn't exactly a well-designed site, so who knows. Hopefully not!

Outside of character appreciation days, all confessions are posted in chronological order, more or less. The only reason a confession might get delayed is if it requires a lot of labor in getting a specific screenshot I don't have, or if I'm feeling on the fence about whether it breaks any of the rules.

Hope that clears things up! I'm sure your confessions will be posted in due time, so keep checking. :)

[eldrith]

HIYAA! It’s me, the new tumblr acc person who asked u abt the text thing on ur own intro post, and i was wanting to ask for some tips on writing?

Ok so hold on let me compliment u first cuz u are actually so amazing!!! i’ve been following ur stuff for a while now (not rlly, since like summer 24 but shh) and honestly ur writing is so stunning and beaand breathtaking and legit made me pull up the dictionary like every two seconds (mostly cuz eng isnt my first language), like if shakespear himself was reborn to this time and age i’m convived he was born as u, cuz ur talent is INSANE?? like AAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway now that i got that out of my system (not rlly, i could write an entire essay on how beautiful and amazing ur writing is) i was hoping to ask for tips on writing? like general stuff yk? also i heard that its good to have a few drafts ready for when u start posting so it wont take long to get content out?

ughh srry for the ramble im stressing😭 also i kinda giggled when u said my blog will def be cute cuz the aesthetic it has rn………. 😀 its far from cute lol😭 i still think its pretty :3

hi cutie! sorry it took me a moment to answer this i've been so busy!!

first of STOP IT bc youre so sweet (& if you've been following me since summer '24 then you've been here the whole time bc i made this account in july!!! <3) the dictionary part ahahaha i get it!!! you're so kind to say such things i appreciate you & im so happy you like my writing!!

dw about rambling i literally don’t stop taking ever. & i believe you that ur blog is SO cute!!!!

i would be happy to share some tips ! i obviously am not the best source bc im not a professional writer and to each their own – but here's a (very long im sorry) list of what i recommend:

in terms of tumblr,

having a 'backlog' of fics in your arsenal is a great thing. i think even a plethora of diferent wips can be a great thing too (there's 11 unfinished wips in my folder rn that may not see the light of day), even if you're a slow writer (like me). that being said, it doesn't have to be that way — sometimes i post things right after finishing them just bc i want to share it!!!

along that vein, i know a lot of my moots here have schedules or structuring to posts. alerting their followers or posting teasers before (i do like to do this often), or scheduling fics to be posted on a certain day/time. i think this is wonderful; though i haven't been able to keep myself to such a routine, and literally just let things rip whenever.

time zone reblogging is a good way to ensure any readers around da globe see your fic! you can figure out some of the main time zones and schedule reblogs of your fics for those times. i sometimes do this too!

create your post draft w/ title/headers/warnings & tags etc beforehand bc it is SUCH a drag to do when you’re about to post a fic!!!

again, people are for the most part very kind here; don't feel like you have to be churning out fics just to keep people's attention. your writing will be wonderful & they will (they WILL. or else i will Get Them) be grateful that you chose to share it!!

in terms of general writing, i actually have so many thoughts on writing and preferences, but i dont want to be insane on main so here's just a few things off the dome—

love your story!! i think people's best works are when they become deeply invested with their own plot/characters. it's why i chose to leave certain characters, because i was no longer loving/enjoying my stories.

withhold information from your readers. i am a huge believer in the theory of omission. this seems to be a bit controversial on here; but i personally am in support of Hemingway's iceberg theory. overwhelming readers with information is boring. let them use their imagination to keep them & yourself from getting burnt out, & allow them to see what they'd like to within those gaps.

write first & edit later. this is something that took me a while to get into the habit of bc i always feel the need to fix things immediately. but it helps the writing process to get out your thoughts and structure first, then fine-comb it after. it saves energy & time!!!

especially in longer fics, avoid logical fallacy — ie., arguments that do not have adequate support. if your characters are fighting and it is for a reason that is not believable (same with a larger scale, like war), then it isn't as realistic nor entertaining to read!!! (i could elaborate but i could write so much on all of this HAH)

USE THE FIVE SENSES. all of them. they are your friend for creating imagery and i use them all the time. this also helps to avoid white room syndrome.

speaking of imagery: make use of both literal and figurative.

literal — obvious & realistic description of anything. ex; describing how black the wings of a raven are. simple& makes a huge difference in world building. figurative — my favorite; words and descriptions that imply certain ideas & need to be interpreted. describing how shadows slither around corners; implying distrust or paranoia, thoughts of serpents, etc. (this is where you have to have faith in your readers — perhaps i put too much faith in them sometimes lmao.)

my favorite way to ensure a cohesive work is to always anchor a motif. i always write with a clear recurring element in my works (could be some device, reference of some sort, words/verbal formula) which appears habitually. in every piece ive written there is at least one motif & usually more (i could cite examples but im not going to rn). it’s my favorite way of conveying emotion & importance. it help sets mood — and ties your whole fic together.

George Orwell has written a lot about never using the passive where you can use the active... this is obviously a preference; i have read countless astounding fics here that write in the passive, but i personally find myself more engaged in active tense. you’re IN the story, not being told of it.

DO NOT USE AI BOTS TO HELP GENERATE YOUR WRITING. ai is incredibly harmful to art; i understand folks who have english not as their native language attempt to use bots to 'polish' their writing, although it is so incredibly obvious when it is used — because computers use patterns. AI CANNOT CREATE, it can only replicate. it can only steal. they use repetitive words, phrases, and structures; all chat GPT fics read, in one way or another, the same; and have a non-human touch which is ingenuine. writers are beautiful and unique because they are different, because we all have a different relationship with english and writing. i often wonder if my translations come out incorrectly because my mother tongue is not english (however i've spoken it basically all my life, so i acknowledge it is different); though i think the charm in authors is their choice in expression. i hope people are confident with themselves, no matter their perceived skill level. i hope they know a robot will take away their intrinsic skill and natural talent. i hope they know it is incredibly obvious when chat bots are used to generate writing. and i see it in this fandom all the fucking time.

writers on writing; ie., some sources that help me:

ray bradbury on: I’ve kept everything I’ve ever cared about since childhood.' or: why personal experience is integral to writing fiction. (1963)

anaïs nin on how the excess of emotion is essential to writing.

ten rules of writing by nietzsche.

vonnegut/kafka: uncertainty is the crucible of creativity. or: the shapes of stories.

writing morally grey characters (character depth)

donna tartt on the writing process: an interview (must watch!!! shes my god)

okay i am DONE yapping. i hope some of this helps & if u have any comments or questions or anything im happy to hear what u think!!

[folklauerate]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @bad-surprise and @ladykettlechips

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

71 under my name and a few on anon!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

796,982 which is kind of insane to think about. I started writing creatively for the first time in years in January of 2022. To have published this much is kind of crazy to think about. I'm likely going to hit 800k this year which is... Just wild. Lol.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The vast majority of my fic Bridgerton! I've written a two for The Rings of Power (Haladriel), one for Shadow and Bone (Darklina), and one for The Hunger Games (Everlark). I have plans for a few more Haladriel and Darklina :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(NOTE: I actually have never looked at my fics by kudos, I only know the set up is the most kudos'd one because well it's over 1k and none of my other fics are. So going through this was interesting!)

The Set Up — My Kathony royals au where Anthony is the King of England and Kate is a world famous actress. This is my most popular fic by far, I'm not sure how it ended up that way! It's a mind boggling amount of kudos (1,769 as of right now) and I know a lot of folks have much larger kudos counts, and it's hardly the most kudos'd in the fandom lol, but it's pretty big for me and I'm not sure if I'll write something else that'll get more lol. I do love this fic a lot, it feels like they're my own characters and that's likely because I've taken plenty of liberties and whatnot. Anyway. I could do talk about it for ages so I'll move on!

Hold Onto You -- A oneshot of Anthony holding babies--his own and his siblings. It was one of the first things I ever wrote for the fandom! Looking back it's a bit of foreshadowing for how I started to write lol--it was a pretty long oneshot written in less than a day which I've done multiple times since then. I haven't revisited this one in a while and don't even know if I can--writing regency is not my strong suit and my earlier writing is still hard for me to read these days lol.

leave the light on — A twoshot where Kate and Anthony are roommates and fall in love. It's set in NYC and is very rom-com-y! It has some of my favorite things to write; domesticity, people growing with one another and around one another, descriptions of the sky, descriptions of the subway, descriptions of NYC, a big wedding, a love confession. I recently finished it lol! I'm actually surprised this is up there!

Office Hours — I wrote this in September of last year in an attempt to get better at writing smut! I actually posted this on anon first because it felt too revealing to post this lol. I was actually really uncomfortable writing smut back then and I think I've improved a lot since then. The response was wild, I really was just so in the weeds with this fic that I couldn't even tell if it was hot or not lol.

lost in your current like a priceless wine— this is my prof au! And an age gap au :) writing this was wild and special. It was a lot of texting Kara and being so very thoroughly enveloped and possessed with this idea that was taking shape. I wrote this over countries and continents and on planes. I wrote all 40k of it in far less than a month and just! I dunno! It was so immersive. It's one of my favorite things I've written. It's crazy it was just this year.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Lol that being said--I have quite a backlog right now. Responding to comments takes a lot of energy and time from me and I usually figure that people want me to write fic as opposed to responding to comments. I do want to say that I honestly sincerely appreciate every comment. I think all fic writers do. We love hearing what you loved and love hearing your thoughts! I'm sure my not responding to them is likely not encouraging so I'm sorry. Know that I want to respond to them and I am quite literally in the process of doing so right now lol. If you commented on Bridgerton, Actually (my Love, Actually AU from last year) then I've been responding to you lol!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This fic isn't finished but my daddy warned me about men like you lol!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm a sucker for a happy ending! I'm not sure what my happiest ending is, but the vast majority of fics have a happy ending :) Feel free to lmk what you think the happiest ending is.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yes. I've gotten some really inane hate comments that are just... dumb and easy to brush off. I've also gotten really intense hate comments that are so long they've required multiple comments, with people reposting exactly what they wrote after I deleted it. It's been really tough to deal with and I think I have some mild anxiety around comments in general as a result. Anyway, it's tough! I think hate comments tend to stick around the most in my brain and so I do appreciate all the nice comments because the gut clench from negative ones never really goes away :,)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do indeed write smut! I'm not really sure if I can describe what "kind" or how you can tell what your kind of smut is? I write plenty of dirty talk and smut with and without feelings. In general, I think that smut does need to do something for the story if it's in a fic with plot--if it's a fic that's just smut then it doesn't really matter. If it's a fic with plot, I like to make sure the smut actually helps the plot along and works to carry the reader through what the characters are feeling and their journeys.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't but I will enjoy adding celebs or pop culture things in fics!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope but if anyone ever wants to, lmk! Translation is an art form and tricky and time consuming and I'm happy to work with anyone who wants to :)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have and I have LOVED doing it!!!!! I was so thrilled to write the West Wing AU with Rama, whose Tumblr @ I simply cannot find, and @grantairesbottle and I wrote in our perfect park together! Both AUs will be getting follow-up fics :) I truly adore both of their work and getting to write with two dear friends and incredible writers was just so lovely. Even more fun than that was just getting to freak out over this shared idea together! It was just such a lovely joint venture.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I could not pick one! I love James/Lily from Harry Potter, Katniss/Peeta from The Hunger Games, and Kate/Anthony from Bridgerton. I'd honestly say they're my OTPs! I love them so, so much. I've read so many Everlark and Jily fics growing up, too, those I've had for so long. It's kind of hilarious how those three have so much in common, like it's not like I went around looking for ships like that but it just happens. You like what you like, I suppose :)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I honestly do want to finish all of them but I don't think I'll finish my Gilmore Girls AU, simply because the characterization is so far off from what I think or how I understand those characters now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Creating really immersive worlds through specific details. Doing research to make worlds lived in. I write a LOT of modern AUs for a book/show that takes place in regency England so I think world-building is one of my biggest strengths. Being able to transport characters into new worlds and understanding how they'd respond to that specific world and situation of the fic is another strength. I think my banter is pretty good? I also like to think I have a pretty good pulse on what my audience will like and what seems to be the thing du jour in the fandom. I usually don't end up writing to it lol but this is a strength as a reader, I'd say, not as a writer.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PATIENCE lol! If I spent more time perfecting, editing, and letting things percolate, I think my works would all be better for it. Instead, I largely write and write and write and then hit publish the moment I'm done. With a few fics (specifically the royals au) I will have someone beta for me and then I at least have another level of editing and another pair of eyes for a vibe/gut check before I publish. I do think, however, that if I was brave enough to actually face my work and sit and edit, it would all be better in general. I'd also then be able to finish a fic before posting, which I've simply never done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do plenty of this for Bridgerton fic because I usually try and include Marathi or Hindi for Kate and her family. Idk if i'd count it as another language but it is another language in the sense that it's not English!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter lol! I wish I still had my old HPFF fics :,,) that website sadly went down and I don't know how to use the wayback machine to find that. But yeah!

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh, I couldn't pick just one! The Set Up is def one. I've done a lot of work with world building and research for that one. Sweet Like Honey is another favorite fic. I wouldn't even say that it's really a great example of those characters because I did a lot of work to bend things to make stuff work for this particular situation. I maintain that it's true to the characters for this specific situation which is a p bonkers one. I mean, I wanted a step-father fic so I wrote one! It turned into something a bit more involved. lost in your current like a priceless wine is another fav. This one is just... it's special to me. It was really different from the other fics being written at the time and I hadn't seen or read an age gap like that for these two or a fic where they don't have that initial bickering/fighting vibes, which was a result ofc of Anthony being a bit older and the characterization I gave him for the AU, so it felt really scary putting it up for people to read. The response was really overwhelming and wonderful and so kind. That fic also marks a sort of turning point in my own writing, for me at least. I think I got braver after that one.

Thanks for the tag! I hope this is fun or interesting to read :) tagging @grantairesbottle @amalinwrites @somethingclearandtrue @tinacentury and Rama whose @ is not coming up !! Also tagging anyone who would like to do this :)

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Hello dear rhythm 💜

Lots of things going on in my college/uni life, but i’m still breathing so 😃🥹 anyways, HOW ARE YOUUUU?

when i got some spare time to come here, i actually read your recent works but my head is mush right now so just please know that i love them 😭 im hooked on the plot of the demon!chan story pls

have also been reading other fics but this one fic reminded me so much of Five Point Star and so i am here to give u and ur brain worm some motivation that i am still patiently waiting for part two but its totally up to u if u wanna post it or not!! I just really love that story too.

BUT YA KNOW ACTUALLY THAT WASNT WHY IM IN YOUR INBOX AGAIN, its because my mush of a brain has dragged me back to Chan performing his unreleased song “Baby” and i needed to sCREAM AKXJSJDJJD WHY WHY WHY IS HE LIKE THAT. I am also at my limit with that man. His IG posts too??? Hello??? Boyfriend 🤕🤕🤕

Anyways anyways hugs and hugs and hugs!! Head pats for your void Raven,, i would also like to give pats to Sir Percival if only i was in that universe. [also patiently waiting for anything wereroomies as always but really, anything from you is very much appreciated even if its random wips and drabbles]

I also missed Chris’s live cuz of uni stuff 🥹 so now i added it to my backlogs. Life be like that 🤕

missed u! hope u feel better these days.

lots more hugs~ ~🍓

aaahhh, i'm doing.... alright. i'm still alive lol

glad you're invested in my demon!chan story mewhehehhe. i'm looking forward to finishing that pt3.....

FPS pt2 is close to being finished i think! but this is the month of monsters, so i have left it aside to focus on that instead hahah. no FPS pt2 any time soon unfortunately. but hopefully sometime this year??? 😂

Christopher!! and that baby song!!!!!! beating the "daddy" allegations singing about how he wants to be called baby KJDSFHLSLDIUFHDIFKH i love him sm, it's actually insane.

head pats have been provided to the void! she purred.

hope uni let's you breathe soon, berry bb💜

[mayadoesfandomstuff]

As I'm currently writing a long post right now based on Persona 3, I've decided to take a break and let my brain rot over some old ideas of my cursed "Filo Thieves" AU in which Persona 5 takes place entirely in the Philippines.

It's so stupid of an idea and I cringe at every thought but hey, misery loves company so imma inject these ideas to other people. Here's just random things in word vomiting out in bulleted list format.

The gsme would start at like 2015. Typically this won't matter much, but in the Philippines, there were a lot of major political and academic changes in the Philippines during this time so the year is a bit more important.

The Philippine elections also takes place on May so it would align with the 2016 May elections.

This means that the thieves may be about a year younger than they are in the actual game. This also makes sense since if the were the age they were in the game, most of them would he college-age because of weird school year stuff in the country and the story just won't work as well.

Joker and the other second years would be 10th graders though. This aligns with their canon age anyway.

The thieves are definitely memed on as the "Akyat Bahay Pangmayaman" and has had supporters since the beginning. Like huge supporters.

Because of this, I do think that even if people think they killed Okamura here, they would still have like a shit ton of supporters.

The international community could not give a rat's ass about these people up until the Okamura case. That's what I think would happen in this case. That country is filled with crazy stories anyway and weird criminal groups so why the fuss about them? When a wealthy local CEO got killed, people started paying attention.

With the other cases like Kamoshida and Kaneshiro, it was expected with the climate of the country.

Madarame was a surprise and did cause waves internationally just for a little bit.

The Medjed incident really got people talking but Okumura was the thing that really sensationalized the whole thing internationally.

Side note, of course all of these names would he different in a Filipino AU. Can't figure it out yet.

The PT case is being handled by the DOJ and none other than Prosecutor Nijima, a bright and trailblazer lawyer who graduated from UP Law.

She's not that directly involved in the investigation as she is in-game as Filipino prosecutors don't have the same insane duties as Japanese and Korean prosecutors, but she's pretty involved as she can be. She handles high profile cases but her backlog still has like a shit ton of drug cases and shit.

Joker doesn't get officially arrested but is sent to the DSWD. There's more context to this that I might elaborate on later but just count him lucky that he didn't die.

He gets sent to Manila from the province since his parents wanted to avoid the stigma.

Sojiro is just a close friend of the family who has to take Joker in since they don't have any family in Manila. I'm debating if he runs a karenderya or a private cafe like in-game or just a small private restaurant. Either way, I doubt it would be as atmospheric as it is in-game no matter what it is.

Joker lives not in the attic but some sort of backroom storage thing where typical house employees would have roomed in.

Some of the palaces would definitely look different but some might stay the same.

I definitely think that Kamoshida's palace might retain it's castle status but I'm torn between that and a hacienda but a hacienda might fit Madarame more.

I'm also torn between having Madarame having a hacienda or retaining a museum or maybe something close to the Philippines Culture Center.

Kaneshiro's palace wouldn't be a bank in my opinion but maybe one of those high-end BGC office buildings where millionaires reside in next to lavish shopping malls.

Futaba's palace could be a tomb as well, but if I want to Filo it up I was thinking of making it a deserted island temple or something like that or maybe an elaborate burial cave system kinda like those caves where archeologists keep finding ancient human settlements in the country.

Okumura's whole space thing could definitely be retained but I just gotta add that I find the idea funny that Haru's confidant would be dealing with her trying to keep the company away from the Jollibee Food Corporation.

Sae's palace is just straight up Resorts World Manila. Yep.

Shido's Palace would still be a boat, but I do want to make it that the entirety of Malacañang would be on said boat as sort of a reminder that Malacañang was built near a riverside. The flood that covers the country is polluted like the floods that cover the country regularly.

I have more but that's it for the brainrot for now. See you next time as I vomit up ideas on how Joker's treated as a Filipino palaboy in the big city in his fancy private school!

[terriyakiblack]

I’ve been going through the backlog of (recent) footage I have, which means I occasionally find myself writing when we’re between rounds of whatever we’re playing or I’m not doing SoT, or maybe I am and I’m just waiting for someone to do something on an island or whatever. Point being, I’ve looked and I haven’t written as much as I have this year as I did last.

That’s fine, I suppose. I wrote a lot last year. Getting on meds did incredible things for my productivity in that regard. Earlier this year we tried some more, with mixed results. This is going… less well. Hopefully I can figure something out with that.

And what with moving later this year… hm.

I’m mostly happy with what I’ve done, though. Very early on, I struggled to write, not because of a lack of inspiration or anything, just because that’s how I was – everything was a struggle and I hadn’t even realised it. Now, when I sit down and start writing and actually writing, it’s much easier. I’ve also gone from writing some more character-driven and slice of life sort of stuff to some more plotty stuff. That’s been interesting to note and funnily enough, this change basically happened as I started posting DYTSHF publicly, which I still think is funny as I never thought I would do that. I don’t know that I’ve stated it outside of the group anywhere, but this was supposed to be a quick little thing of maybe five chapters, and it very quickly spiralled out of control into the behemoth of just a first part that it is.

I am, however, quite happy with this. I’ve never undertaken such an epic project and my interest in it has only grown. Its influence on me and the guys is impressive, too. We talked about tattoos today for a few minutes with a random crew and I still can’t believe he’s got those things permanently etched into his skin – that’s so insanely awesome to me. – To mention but one thing it’s influenced.

OC broke 300 views with its last update while also hitting the first-year-anniversary and that’s pretty neat. I see that number go up here and there and on update day and the weekend following, it has its predictable little spike; that tells me I’m doing something right. The occasional kudos or bookmark or what-have-you does, too. It’s a feeling I can’t quite put my finger on but I’m doing something right and that feels good, if vaguely so.

Another one of them was right: there is a painful dearth of SoT (fanfic) literature. I made it a point a long while back to read every piece of SoT fanfiction I could find. The way it is with the rich world and lore, the way it oftentimes revolves around the player characters, there’s so much crazy potential for storytelling with it and it just boggles my mind that there isn’t more out there. The game practically begs you to retell the stories that you and your crew go through, and there’s canon crossovers to pave the way for outlandish fanfic crossovers!

In fact, SoT fandom in general seems a little lacking even when just considering the sheer reach of the game. I dunno.

Just some more random shit I think about, I guess.

[actualbird]

Hi Zak! I really love your writing style and interpretation of the ToT characters. You show so much depth and understanding and reading your work is always a treat. My question is, how do you find the motivation to write so often and develop all your ideas? All I have is a backlog of Dramatic scenes in my ideas doc and I can't figure out how to add enough plot to even make them into oneshots.

hello, anon ヾ(＾∇＾)

thank you so much for your kind words!!! im glad my fics are enjoyable :D

as for your question......hm, i think i have a lot of things that motivate me to write a bunch at the speed i do, so heres all of the motivators i can think of

a big emotional one is that....i feel palpable physical anxiety when i havent Created A Thing in a While, HAHA. and my brain's definition of "a while" is anywhere from a week to one day KJBKJS. i feel happiest and most like myself when creating and having created. this emotional motivator is v important to me bc it helps me relieve negative emotions and experience positive ones.

my brain never shuts off!! ever!!! it's throwing new ideas at me 24/7 and leaving the ideas in my brain where nobody will ever get to see it......thats Agony For Me. i write so much because i wanna be like EVERYBODY, LOOK, LOOK AT THIS CONCEPT!! DONT LEAVE ME ALONE TO THINK ABOUT THIS, THINK ABOUT IT WITH ME!!!

people tell me that my writing makes them happy or makes them laugh or gives them some kind of benefit. this is hugely rewarding for me and pushes me to make more because i want to continue to make things that people can benefit from

i write my stuff because......nobody else will. like, the stuff i enjoy is somewhat niche. i wanna see smut but it's a comedy at the same time. or i wanna see the nxx team being stupid but also being a loving found family. i wanna see nxx polycule dealing with a voyeuristic pet bird. the stuff i want....NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA WRITE IT, theyre all way too specific, so i have to be the one to write it!!!

I Just Love Writing. ive been writing fiction for more than a decade now (exactly a decade, if ur going by my ao3 fics) and it's something i'll continue doing for the rest of my life. sorry to sound cheesy, but it's deadass my passion. it's what i chose to study and major in college, it's what i do at my current job, and it's what i do in my free time. i love writing, so i do as much of it as i can.

so theres a bunch of motivators that keep me trucking on like crazy!!!!

but theres a second question here, right? i think? or am i misreading? you also ask kinda how to develop ideas/plot, yeah? because huge mood at "backlog of Dramatic scenes" tbh thats how most of my fics start in my brain HAHA.

so heres how i personally develop ideas

the dramatic scene/s (or just whatever "seed" of a fic, be it a badass line or a stupid joke in dialog) in the head? i write that down immediately. no matter what is going on, i grab my phone and scribble that thing down on a notepad. i have woken up at 2am just to blindly wordbarf an idea into my diary discord, lemme get u an example actually, heres the message:

and this single message resulted in the fic "The NXX Investigation Team In Their Natural Habitat, Unhinged: A Documentary by DAVIS"

so like no matter how un-fleshed out the idea is, get it down!!! make the backlog in ur head a backlog somewhere outside of ur head so that it doesnt disappear bc a lot of the time, those ideas need to like.....simmer. i often need to put an idea down and let it rest for a while for me to understand the concept more and then start building around it. case in point: that message was sent on November 16. the first chapter of nxx docu fic was posted November 19......okay that wasnt a great example, it only simmered for 3 days BUT MY POINT STANDS

onto the plot!!!

i personally add plot by going through at LEAST TWO STAGES OF OUTLININING. this is gonna make me sound insane, but bear with me.

OUTLINE ONE: WORDBARF

this is the barebones shit. like tbh, all i put in this outline is as simple as premise, conflict, resolution. THATS IT. example of outline one of "how Puppy Pierce© conquered the world":

barest bones in the world but theyre still bones aka, theyre whats needed for a story. there is a premise, conflict, and resolution. fiction comes in all kinds of forms, but these three are the easiest and most noticeable building blocks. keeping these blocks in mind always helps me get from concept to story.

i move on now to

OUTLINE TWO: embellish the wordbarf

this is where i go insane because based on outline one, i expand as much as frigging possible. the outline one for puppierce is as short as u see above and my outline two based on it is 864 words long. this is where i get detailed and lay down scenes, sometimes i lay down the exact dialog as well. heres an excerpt of outline two from the same fic above:

BONUS: a list of things to Keep In Mind.

this is something i only do with fics that delve deep into emotions and themes but it's very very helpful for me because it allows me to have like...a guide to look towards whenever i feel blocked or stumped, it realigns my trajectory to where i want it to go. i do this in the beginning before outline one and two. heres an example from the fic "it's only ever a seed planted from outside in":

and once all that is done, tadaa!! everything is built!! and then i do the Actual Writing bit JBJKFGS

i hope this is helpful somehow? a lot of my writer friends have told me that both my motivators and my writing process is fucking insane but sdjkbkgjsd insane is what works for me. i hope you find what works for you :')

again, thank you for lovely ask!! if ever u have questions on like, writing process or story development, dont hesitate to hmu!!! my degree in creative writing has to be useful for something HAHA.

hope u have a nice day!!

[theonekrafter]

theonekrafter’s writing news: #1

yooo its ya boy theonekrafter, coming in with the sickest general update on what’s up with writing! i thought i might as well start updating you all on what’s going on, make that follow worth it. 

index:

general news

picked clean news 

biggering news

magneto news

general news

1: hello! it’s been a while! i have been working! capitalism is ruining me.

2: you may have noticed almost all my fics have (discontinued) in the summary now, this is because i haven’t updated most of them in several years and i just wanted to make it official. no hard feelings, but that two chapter fic from 2019 was probably never getting an update. you may ask “which one?”, and to that i say “exactly.”

3: the pit discord has hit 114 members, which is sort of insane to me considering it’s for fanfic but also really hype. 

anyways, that out of the way we can get to the rambling. despite my lack of updates, i HAVE been writing, just...very infrequently. and with low energy. i’m entering a writing rush again though so i’ll try and write as many updates as i can, for you guys. 

that being said, i’ll hint to a new collab i’ll be doing with reavv, the person i worked on Les Étrangers with if anyone here is familiar with that. (it’s a dragon age fic, go figure.) i don’t know how much i can hint to right now, but it WILL be modern character(s) in thedas, and we’ll be going back to basics when it comes to common tropes in mcit. we’re working on chapter 1 as i write this, and i’m hoping it’ll be a project we both enjoy and that our readers enjoy as well!

ive had a few other works in the backlog, a few ideas for skyrim and dragon age, but whether those will see the light of day is up in the air. should i start just posting my unfinished stuff? i have a ton of si for various fandoms i’ve never finished but have like AT LEAST 2k or something on. though a lot of it is from pre 2020 so it’ll be lower quality. food for thought.

i think i might make another longer post about dragon age soon, just because i’ve been thinking ab fic a lot recently and about the slow death of dragon age’s fandom since it’s height around 2016. i love dragon age and appreciate bioware but also they make a fanfic author’s life very hard.

picked clean news

(art by me of “ari” ariadne commissioned by thewritingcorner themself)

ch 5 wordcount: 3k

@mbwestover​ x , thewritingcorner, bones and i definitely THOUGHT there was gonna be weekly uploads when we started, and then life smacked us all in the face and we all didn’t write for a month, but whatever we’re fine. 

currently as of writing this chapter 5 is at around 3k, almost done. i will say it’s gonna be a angsty one, if you read chapter 4 you’ll know why. most of it was admittedly written this past week or so by me at 3am, but that’s between me and you, random citizen. 

i think it’ll be a good one, or at least that’s what the others have told me so i have no reason to assume otherwise. you’ll be able to tell me what you think in probably a week(?) or so when we post it. (do not hold me to that. everytime i list a release date i jinx that shit)

snippet: 

biggering news

ch 8 wordcount: 2.2k

woah, what’s this? did theonekrafter add a new thing to biggering’s summary? man i wonder what it is it must be pretty coo

why am i clarifying this in the summary, you ask? 

i get a lot of comments asking if this is abandoned, which is weird, considering it’s only been like six months since i updated. grrm has taken 11 years to get out that new book, in comparison i’m doing pretty well.

jokes aside, biggering chaper 8 is in the works, i promise. we’re at like 2.2k words, i just haven’t really been feeling asoiaf lately. i haven’t been seeing any good si fics for it lately so the inspiration has been low. (i’ve been eyeing Last Serving Daughter by dwellingondreams though, let’s see if reading that will spark something in my empty head.)

ch 8 is probably gonna be better than most of the other chapters though, i’ve been improving a lot lately in terms of descriptions so i’m hoping that will translate well.

snippet: 

magneto news

ch 15 wordcount: 0

man i don’t even have actual news for this one, i have no fucking clue what direction to go in a book i started writing when i was still in highschool. the only thing saving you magneto enjoyers from a little (discontinued) is my guilt ab being one of the most popular si fics for bnha and not even enjoying bnha anymore. 

is it flattering? yes. is it also very fear inducing because i only write video game fanfic for the most part? ...also yes. 

feel free to tell me in the comments what would be interesting to see happen in magneto, i’ll gladly listen, but other than that consider magneto on a soft hiatus if you didn’t already.

alright that’ll be all for now, tune in next time for a fanfic meta post in six months. 

[mindmeltedmaiden]

Important Update About the Future of The Project

Maiden here. It's been a long ride. An insane adventure that I never expected. It's time that I get something off my chest: As of right now, Mind Maiden as a project is being shelved. The Patreon's tier pricing has been lowered into a more fair bracket for just the backlog. This has been a difficult decision. But with the state of my mental health and how I've changed fundamentally as a person. This just isn't the healthiest creative avenue for me at this time. For about a year now, Mousey and I have been trying to figure out ways to make the project fun for both of us like it previously was. I had just gotten out of the worst relationship I had ever been in, in my whole adult life. Essentially I began to worry month to month about creating kink content. When I was just drowning in trauma related to relationships and kink/sex to begin with. I tried throughout this time to produce things and have a good time again. But I just can't and couldn't do it anymore. It's been corrosive to my mental health.  Even though I tried very hard, I just couldn't connect with the content the way I used to. I started this project in part to have fun, and it hasn't been fun for over a year now. Maybe one day Mind Maiden will be something I can get behind and enjoy again. But as of now I need to take a step back. It's just not working for me and my needs as a person anymore. I really appreciate the kindness in your hearts to have helped me eat and survive and grow as a person. Same with mousey, your support over the years helped her move out of Arkansas to the Pacific North West. Which is a huge win. Thank you so much who made that reality possible for her. On that note, some updates about mousey as well: Notably so, Mousey also is about to start her new life after moving. She snagged a job! She had interviews, and aced one! She's now employed. She now is turning her focus to a part time job while she discovers who she is, and what it means to her to be in the PNW. She's my bestie, ride or die, and roomate. Thanks for doing this crazy thing mousey. We never really knew where this would go. But I appreciate you alot. I appreciate everyone over the years who literally kept me alive with your patronage, I have struggled greatly with health issues throughout 2020 and appreciate everything so much. If any of you have any questions, concerns, comments. Please feel free to message me. This post is a mirror of a Patreon announcement. View the original post here

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I'm sorry if you already have a rec list for this but Tumblr sucks and I can't find anything so: do you have fics about their first time together? bonus if they're longer, and I'd love some good smut even if you don't get around to posting this I wanna say thank you for all the work you do, I wish every fandom had a you, you're a treasure! sending love from Italy xx

Hi Lovely from Italia!! :D <3 I’ve always wanted to go there, hee hee!

Ah, thank you for your lovely comments!! I am so happy you enjoy your time here! <3

Super excited because your ask gives me an excuse to clean out my First Kiss/Time List collection again with a Pt. 3 list! <3 I’m using any excuse right now because I’m SO FAR behind on Pt 1 lists so if I have a nice backlog I’m not as stressed hee hee.

ANYWAY, as per usual, my Lovelies, please add your own here!! <3

(NOTE to the Nonny who asked for “First Kiss”: wanted to post this list first, yours is coming soon!)

FIRST TIME Pt. 3

See also:

First Time || [MOBILE]

First Time Pt. 2

Virgin Sherlock 

Virgin Sherlock Pt. 2

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Insanity in the Middle by DotyTakeThisDown (E, 28,010 w., 8 Ch. || Equestrian Sports AU || Alternate First Meeting, POV John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Clueless Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Passionate Kisses, Hand Holding, Caught Making Out, Bed Sharing, Spooning, Blow Job) – John is a world-class eventing rider with a gold medal and several four-star wins to his credit, but he's never won at Rolex. Sherlock is an up-and-coming rider taking the sport by storm.

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Harada Monologue + Schedule Update

...kinda want to break something right now lol. one of the non hakumyu songs (jumped from 1 to 5 verrrry quickly ahaaaahaa. trying to limit myself to 5 max per fandom right now for the music i want to work on) im working on right now is the first one where im actually working out the vocal section first instead of the piano score since it has a ton of overlapping voices (i always do the piano stuff first since I start with sounding out those notes)... and it’s proving to be insanely trying. ugh why do i like ensemble pieces so much. 

anyway, this translation is of the Harada monologue from the  薄桜鬼～回奏録～ cd. sorry but it’s another short translation (side-effect of how i mostly schedule things in the order i translate them unless im planning to do specific releases for a month like in june and july which will all be yuugiroku 2 content. probably. i put a tentative schedule to the end of august at the end of this post).... will be more variety next month... when I’ll finally be able to tackle my video backlog (and get around to finally playing ssl lol)!

final edits will be done later as always.

Hakuoki Harada Monologue 

Translation by KumoriYami

Harada: Are you asleep? Ah~ you still aren't asleep. Ah, no, I also can't sleep. Maybe it's because of how cold it is/the cold weather.

Hey, listen to me/just listen to me for a while. As you know, I'm only a human. So it's really easy to die, right/yes, a human life is fragile like an ant.

That/Well...... you've seen it happen before. Which is why I can't promise that I won't die.

.......Ah, I'm worrying you. Sorry, it's all my fault for saying this so suddenly/ it's my fault/that was bad. This was too suddenly said/It's because this was so sudden [reword later, check audio].

But, instead, I'll make you a promise.

I will live with you until the very end [reword later]. I swear that I will never lie to myself, or to you.

Even if you end up living a lie, doing so will just cause pain in the end.

Because it's not in my nature to live in the darkness/living in the darkness doesn't suit me. So I will walk together with you, and hold your hand proudly in the sun [reword later].

While I've said something a little ominous/unlucky, this is something that will eventually happen, but  I don't want to die/plan on dying just yet. I feel that as long as I'm alive, I will be able to move forward.

Ah, right. As long as you're alive, good things will happen/happen to you.

[And?] As long as you can dream, even if you get pushed down it's possible to stand back up. Humans are surprisingly tenacious creatures.

Of course, being in love with a woman will do that too.

Meeting you, that has [has given me] one of my reasons to live/survive/Meeting you was one of my best thing that happened in my life. It's seems that we helped realize each other's dreams/make each of our dreams come true.

Nn? Ah~ how many times do you want me to say it?/I will tell you as many times as you want me to. You are, of course, the person I love.

That's why/So, don't hide anything from me, and tell me whatever it is that you want.

......For example, if you think it's cold, tell me that it's cold, okay?

---

Schedule to August

Next week -  Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Toudou After Story Translation

May

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Okita After Story Translation

OTOPA 2013 - Hakuoki Drama: Ideal Place for a Disagreement

Hakuoki SSL Store Bonus Drama CD 《Their Youth~ Student Council Helper Episode～》

Hakuoki Kyoka-Roku Harada Character CG Perspective

June (i don’t have translations for anything of heisuke’s for yuugiroku 2)

Yuugiroku 2 - Toshizou Sakura Epilogue

Yuugiroku 2 - Sanosuke Sakura Epilogue

Yuugiroku 2 - Kazama Final Sakura Epilogue

Yuugiroku 2 - Souji Sakura Epilogue (not done yet. also need to look up a video since im missing 3 lines)

July

Yuugiroku 2 - Harada Sakura Epilogue (only have 1 translation for this specific content)?

Yuugiroku 2 - Souji Chapter 5

Yuugiroku 2 - Kazama Chapter 1 (may do a 4-koma if I have time since this chapter is ultra short)

Yuugiroku 2 - Saito Chapter 5?

August (only in planning stages aside from 1st item)

Ginsei no Shou - Saito Chapter 4

Yuugiroku 3 - Short Episode #6 - Yukimura the page’s secret?

Yuugiroku 2 - Souji Chapter 3?

Yuugiroku 3 - Short Episode #7 - It's difficult to supervise?

[simplyclockwork]

Author Interview Tag

I was tagged by @totallysilvergirl and @therealsaintscully 

Thanks for the tag!

Name: simplyclockwork

Fandoms: BBC Sherlock for now. Not super likely to change, but I’ve gotten really into this show called The Expanse lately, so you never know. 

Where you post: Ao3

Most popular multi-chapter fic: At 444 kudos, it’s definitely my first ever Holmestice Fic, Hands Full of Matter. Compared to some of the big-name fic writers in the fandom, that’s not a lot, but I’m happy it’s doing well. 

If I go by subscriptions, it’s Hired Gun, which is a WIP and currently at over 120 subscriptions. I suspect the Oh Captain, My Captain smut series might be up there as well, but Ao3 doesn’t show stats for series, so I can’t confirm. 

Favourite story you’ve written so far: Ooh, this is a hard one. I think it might be Lean into a Loved Body, though Hired Gun is quickly becoming a new favourite. 

Fic you were nervous to post: Hmmm. Not sure if I have been, but if any one fic comes to mind, it’s my serial killer John AU, Immediate and Inglorious, which has done way better than I ever expected. It’s one of the darkest things I’ve posted - though not the darkest thing I’ve written for sure - so I’m glad it was received mostly well. 

How you choose your titles: First off, I am terrible at titles. So, so, so uncreative when it comes to naming things. I usually stick with clever word plays, sayings or puns, or I choose lines from poems with similar themes to what I’m writing. Sometimes I just give up and name a fic something stupid. 

Do you outline: Uh, rarely. I try to and usually manage a rough sort of vague idea of where a story might be going, but I am definitely a ‘pantser’ in that I am almost always flying by the seat of my pants and making it up as I go along. Usually, I start a story when an idea occurs, then as I write it, the pieces fall into place, and THEN I usually manage an outline. But there have been many fics, like Lunar Phase, where I literally made it up chapter by chapter. It’s a bit stressful when I decide to do this with a posted WIP, but I can’t seem to change, so I guess I’ll just keep doing it.

Complete: I have 156 works on Ao3. Four are WIPS, one being Hired Gun, another is Unfinished Business, both of which I am working on at the moment, and two are fusion fics, which I haven’t finished and might end up taking down if I don’t find the inspiration for them. Yes, I am double-fisting two posted WIPs at once. Yes, I am a little insane. No, we are not going to talk about the 15-20 WIPs I have in my Google Docs.

In progress: Right now, Hired Gun and Unfinished Business, and always Oh Captain, My Captain, which is ongoing and updated sporadically. I have a smutty Christmas fic to finish for @detafo as well. I always have something on the go.

Coming soon: I haven’t picked the next fic to focus on yet, but I have abut 16 prompts sitting in my inbox that I need to fill, so that’ll likely be the next thing I tackle. In terms of multi-chaptered fics, I plan to finish Unfinished Business and focus on Hired Gun, which I’m anticipating will end up somewhere around 100k words, with a likely sequel. 

Aside from those, I might try to finish my John Watson as The Man fic, which I wrote a sizeable chunk of and didn’t complete. Or maybe I’ll finally write that Firefighter!John AU for @urbanhymnal. I need to clone myself, my WIPs are getting out of hand.

Do you accept prompts: I sure do! As mentioned above, I have a huge backlog at the moment, so feel free to send more if you’re alright with waiting for... a while.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Still Hired Gun. This fic has just stuck its hooks in me, and I don’t want to escape even a little bit. Otherwise, I have this idea for a demonverse AU where John is a demon and Sherlock is cursed... Actually, that might be my next project. 

Upcoming story you are most excited about: Probably the Sherlock-focused prequel to Lean into a Loved Body that I worked on for one of my NaNoWriMo projects. I wrote 20k for NaNo, and the story is nowhere near done. Once I’ve edited what I have and have finished my posted WIPs, I plan to pick it back up and post it on Ao3. It explains how Sherlock came to live in the country before he met John, and what events made him the man he is in Lean into a Loved Body. I’m looking forward to sharing it with those who have enjoyed Lean as much as I have.

Thanks for the tag, this was fun! As always, I’m tagging @annecumberbatch @heyblinken and I’m also going to tag @keirgreeneyes and anyone else who sees this and wants to join in! There are so many amazing writers I’d love to see answer this, and far too many to tag, so do so if you like!

[futuresking]

something to share with you * ooc.

I tend to avoid posting OOCly,  but these past months for many and myself blatantly in the dip of slowness even more in focus / writing in my TOA family, has been noticeable. So much I have been nervous to reach out in our nothing but sweet comm. I admittedly am not used to groups, but I actually joined because of @arcstral​ who besides our muses being freakishly similar and kin no less, is one of my closest friends and surely one of yours I hope! Nothing brings me more joy than my friends being happy and surrounded by others who love them. i may not talk much in the chat, but i admire you all very much. i certainly encourage friendship and once you have me, my loyalty is absolute.

( naga, i hope i’m not.....spamming but. i’m doing replies but this is important and i thought maybe you guys would like this post! since it has GOODIES and who doesn’t love that? )

So my birthday came, and thank you all for the wishes I cherished them all! And the holidays as well came and I survived! I’m a tough girl but boy I was tested for a few months. Soji ....well, we all know Soji. She’ll probably be flustered by this but some gifts she got me besides me monching and cronching on the chocolate she sent me? Are Fire Emblem merch. She went above and beyond and next year I’m going to have to go hard or go home.

I wanted to post and share with you my joy at seeing my favorite King / Exalt in all her glory which really has helped my...struggles the past two and a half months. Thankfully I am truly coming back here with renewed strength! Pictures under the cut. I hope it’s alright to post one lil OOC thing. I just want to share my joy with you all, who have been nothing but sweet and supportive and patient with me being an insane, realistic Lucina Simp.

My presents under the cut. If you love Lucina, I’m sure you’ll enjoy these, I hope!

third card actually has dimitri and edelgard with it too so i’m very pleased to have some fe3.h leaders with it! especially in a way dimitri because that’s lucina’s house leader! as you can see she is being regal af as usual and also just...pretty...

basically i was pampered rotten in a really rough time by one of my closest friends. thanks to soji and this really...safe community? i’m still here and working hard to get things done so i can catch up for everything current in my backlog and go on new adventures! lucina is incredibly important to me. i hope this doesn’t...embarrass her but i want everyone to know the kind of person soji is but i’m pretty sure you guys know that. thank you for being so kind to one of my friends. it means so much to me as i am very protective of people who BECOME my friends. which...you should probably BE my friend! i’d give you my disco in a heartbeat or my ims if you ever need me. and also thank you for being so patient . my fire’s back, and while it’s been painful on my end, and i know you have your equally if not more hard struggles!  i wanted to just share in the happiness i was given without even asking for it or necessarily deserving!

thank you all for being a wonderful group. i promise to always do right even when i become a snail, and give you the most of lucina as possible. realistic, flawed, majestic and kingly and glorious goofy luci. she is her papa’s daughter after all. (whomst i stan)

special gratitude to my precious friend and my lil fam here. i will cherish these forever as much as i stare at my favorite king / exalt / female hero.

also thanks guys in general. it’s easy to be cruel. much harder to be kind! and you are the latter. i have nothing but kind memories so far with you all. i hope to make many, many more. now i’m gonna work hard okay? xoxo lily.