#i have spent months unwinding this in therapy

[3-aem]

Hey there. Just a quiet bystander who's been following your work for a while. I just wanted to say that from an external point of view if just seems that this person is extremely jealous of your talent and is trying to do everything in their power to ruin your life. They must have an extremely miserable and unfulfilling life and can only find joy on trying to make people as miserable as they are. Probably some very bad inferiority complex, they must be thrilled every time they get a reaction out of you. So please don't let them bring you down, do your best to ignore them and they most likely will eventually tire and look for a new victim, that's how this kind of hateful people is. They don't deserve your energy and attention. Lots of love for you from Chile.

i know. i have seen that sentiment and i appreciate you saying this to remind me.

but it is difficult still for me because i really don’t enjoy making people upset and it is hard for me to hear. it really affects me to see. so i want to fix it but when i realize i can’t its hard to handle. maybe also, they did finally make me as miserable as them and thats why i am saying anything at all. dealing with it internally finally became as painful as me just saying it.

[pleasantlyinsincere]

John and Julian (and Cyn) through the '70s

Last edited on 8 October 2023. All edits listed at the end. Text in between [ ] are my thoughts.

Since John and Yoko had moved into Tittenhurst in August '69 Julian often spend weekends with them there.

"And then I'd live for the weekends I spent with my dad and his new love Yoko at Ascot. My feeling toward their relationship was helped by the way I was treated. I was given incredibly expansive toys to play with and there was always something happening." Julian, 1982

Cynthia describes that she was relieved that Julian got on reasonably well with Yoko, but she was concerned by some of the more bizarre stories of what was going on at Tittenhurst park.

"One of the hardest aspects of letting Julian visit John was accepting that Yoko would presumably look after him when he was there. I didn't know what he would make of her cool manner. But in fact he seemed fine with it, and perhaps it was better for him to have a rather distant step-mother than one who was all over him. He never told me that she was unkind in any way, which was a relief. After that first weekend Peter rang regularly to arrange visits for Julian. Much to my amusement Julian had started to call Yoko Hokey-Cokey." Cynthia Lennon: John, p.314

Photos of Julian at Tittenhurst in 31 January 1970. [John and Yoko only returned from Denmark January 27th, so Julian came to see them the first weekend back.]

Rest of the timeline including pics, quotes and audio behind the cut because it got ridiculously long.

23 February 1970

An article is published in the Evening Post talking about Julian and Kyoko. It mentions that in 1969 there were four months that father and son didn't get to see each other and also spent Christmas apart.

Some quotes from John:

"Julian, last time I saw him, was a bit too protected, like all kids are. It took him two weeks to unwind, when he was last with us." "I'm not a daddy with a set of bricks to play with. When I'm with the kids, they just come along with me and be with me, whatever I'm doing." Link to article

March 1970

Over the New Year John and Yoko had spent some weeks in Denmark with Tony Cox, his new partner and Kyoko. That arrangement had worked quite well and it seems it motivated John and Yoko to try to get closer with Cynthia and Roberto also. It seems in the end not much came of these good intentions.

Up until now, when Julian came to spend the weekend at Tittenhurst Park, it was Les Anthony who shuttled him back and forth between his parents. However, shortly after their return from Denmark, John and Yoko made a conscious effort to spend time with Julian, Cynthia and her fiancé Roberto Bassanini. John later remarked: "All five of us ate together and we saw to it that the children see us all together. Maybe six of us will go on vacation with Kyoko. Julian, Cyn and Roberto, so that everyone feels secure. That's very important. In order to have peace, it's necessary to start inside the family." Lennonology, source L'Express [3/23/70]

Instead John and Yoko left for LA 23 April 1970 to undergo Primal Scream therapy with Janov. They stayed for almost five months in the US and returned to England 15 September 1970.

June 7th, 1970

While John and Yoko are in LA doing their therapy with Janov. One of the topics discussed was John's troubled relationship with his son.

The meeting, which Vivian Janov describes as 'a very strong emotional day for him,' had taken place in April, and John was making an effort to maintain communication with his son. From Los Angeles, John posted a card to Julian today: 'I'm sorry I haven't called or written much. I've been a little sick. We miss you a lot, and send you our love... won't be long till I see you'. Lennonology

After the return from the US in September Julian continued to regularly visit Tittenhurst. During those visits he usually played a lot with Les Anthonys four stepchildren, who at the time were also living on the estate.

"Once Dad had a little white shed built on an island in the middle of a lake on the grounds of the house. He had bought these little white amphi-cars that sped across the lake. The three of us all dressed in white to spend the day there. Crazy, but wonderful."Julian, 1982

In this interview Julian describes going over to Tittenhurst just to be an idiot with his dad but also how scary the big house and his bedroom situation could be to him at night.

[The floorplan of Tittenhurst (LINK) actually shows Julian's room just across the hallway from John and Yoko's room but half a stairway down. There's not really a closer bedroom and he may have been put there, so that he has his own bathroom. It being so far away, small (somewhere he or Cynthia call the room a closet) and scary are after all the memories from a child's point of view.]

For the most part the visitation arrangements seemed to have continued in 1971. In the summer, when John and Yoko were filming for the imagine documentary, Julian can be seen roaming the property with his friends.

Saturday, July 17th, 1971 With the cameras rolling, John and Yoko roamed the Tittenhurst Park grounds in a golf cart with Jill Johnston. As promised, Blue Pools delivered the new lake house, and the Lennons spotted location. More footage was taken of the house under construction, the Lennons and Johnston rowing on the lake, and Julian and the neighbor children reading excerpts from Grapefruit on camera and running amok in the fields. Lennonology

Lennonology

Julian Lennon: Tittenhurst was this enormous palace-like place with 99 acres, golf-cart buggies, a lake, a little island in the middle of the lake. It was like a house of fun. It was wonderful. I loved the place.

LINK to a longer version of the quote but in German. Not adding much just both John and Julian sharing a mutual love for Dr. Pepper at the time, playing the mellotron and the children daring each other to enter a 'haunted' building on the property.

It's also at Tittenhurst that Julian meets May Pang, who had started working for John and Yoko as an assistant through ABKCO in NY and had come to England as a messenger to bring film rolls.

"There were a lot of great moments at Tittenhurst that I do fondly remember, you know, giggling and laughing with Dad. And, as they say, shooting the shit. But it was difficult to know, you think, 'OK, well, is this going to stay? Is this what it's going to be, now? Can I count on this? Can I be here next weekend or the weekend after? Is that going to happen?' That was one of the, obviously, the hardest pill to swallow, was the constant change. You know, you thought things were going to settle down, but they just never quite did." Julian, 2018

"I lived an ideal life between then [Cyn and Roberto] and John and Yoko, but it all ended when Cynthia's marriage broke up and Dad and Yoko moved to the States." Julian, 1982

The big cut happens when on August 12th 1971 John and Yoko leave for NY and take up residence in the St. Regis Hotel.

At first their plan was to search for Kyoko, so that she too could come for visits at Tittenhurst like Julian. In September John and Yoko appeared on the Dick Cavett show and briefly talked about their wish that both their children could be with them.

Maybe a Christmas present:

Christie's auction

[In her Lost Weekend doc, May talks about Julian calling and Yoko not allowing her to put the call through to John. She says at that point they hadn't spoken for a couple of years. Then a few weeks later she is in the audience for George Harrison's appearance on Dick Cavett. The show is aired in November '71, so if there is anything to her anecdote she may mean they hadn't seen each other for two months instead of two years.]

26 May '72

"Lennon admits that he is scared to say too much publicly about the case, because it was the initial publicity that had spurred Cox to vanish. He talks about how hard it is for Ono to see pictures of her daughter: I have to hide them. Asked about his own son, Julian, he says: I don't have that 'where the hell is he?' bit. But he reveals that when they were in England, and Julian visited them every weekend, it was difficult for Ono to be with him when her own daughter wasn't there: It was killing her." source

28 May '72

Cynthia quoted in a Sunday paper: "John hasn't seen Julian since he went to America. It is rather a long time. He seems to be occupied with Yoko's daughter now. He does write to Julian, just normal letters, asking how he is getting on at school and things like that. And he sends him presents. He sent him a toy truck at Christmas. I don't keep in touch with John anymore. It's purely through Julian that we keep in contact. Julian loves his father. He follows his career in the newspapers. He goes to a private boys' school where people don't bother who he is. He went to a state school but he had problems there."

14 June '72

Cyn's complaints are repeated in the LA times, where it said that John hadn't seen Julian in eight months. "He seems to be occupied with Yoko's daughter now."

On 22 September '73 John and May leave for LA and only a few days later on 2 October '73 it is reported in the newspaper that Cyn separated from Roberto Bassanini.

Cynthia gave some interviews on her recent separation and the fact that she and Julian moved back to Hoylake, where Julian goes to private school.

"Unhappily Julian misses his father, which is only natural. We only hear from John at Christmas and when the birthdays come around." 7 October '73, Sunday Mirror

"Julian is always asking after him but of course John is in America now. It's been hard for him not seeing John for several years. This sort of thing is naturally upsetting for a child." 7 October '73, Sunday People

According to May's book, while John had broken up with her, she went to the Dakota to be with Yoko. Yoko there told her that she had decided it was time for Julian to come for a visit and May should at least reunite with John for that period to help him with it. May agreed to go back to John for two weeks, but it ends up being more like a year.

Christmas gift '73

To Julian from Daddy Christmas 1973

[Julian has sold an NFT of the black guitar. LINK ]

Shortly after Christmas '73 Julian and Cyn travel to LA to spend his school holidays with his father. They stay at least until the Happy Days taping they visit together on 5 February '74.

During the over a month long visit May writes, that they went to Disneyland three times and had brunch together the first morning. Meanwhile John is still having some wild times. Since Julian is staying with Cynthia, he goes out with May. The Kotex incident and nearly killing Jesse Ed Davis happen at the same time of this visit. May also places Cynthia asking John to have another child together during this trip.

As the visit ends May makes John promise to call Julian regularly.

"It is the right thing to do. I promise you, Fung Yee." He was silent for a while, then John said suddenly, "I really would like to keep in touch with me son." May Pang, Loving John p.168

Julian too, took a lot of positive out of the meetings around this time.

"Mum and I flew out to the States and stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel. At least Mum did, I spend every minute of every day with my Dad and Yoko. " Julian, 1982

In later recollections Julian correctly puts the first visit in the time-frame that John was with May.

“Dad and I got on a great deal better than,” recalls Julian. “We had a lot of fun, laughed a lot and had a great time in general when he was with May Pang.” Julian in The Times, June 13 2009

May Pang: Loving John. About this visit and how it was set up.

In April 74 Julian sends a Thank you tape to John and Yoko for his birthday gift. Even though John is with May at this time, the present it seems was sent from the married couple.

The present in question according to Julian was a guitar, decorated with a mirror, writing and other stuff:

John writes to Cyn 22 June '74 a typed letter asking about Julian's holiday plans. Interestingly as the return address he gives the Dakota. He wants to send May to bring Julian.

19/20-25 July 1974 Instead of being collected by May, Julian sails with Elton John, Tony King, and Cyn per boat from Southampton to New York.

[In her book Cynthia wrongly remembers this as her first visit with John in the US. She also claims this visit was completely her initiative, which as proven by the letter wasn't the case. The whole anecdote is interesting however because she says that it was never the plan to stay with Julian, John and May but stay in NY with Jenny Boyd. Jenny apparently wasn't told about that plan, because in the end she wasn't there to home Cynthia. (May on the other hand remembers that Cynthia was staying with friends but they left without her and she was lonely, so she ended up coming with them.) In the end (and to John probably rightly or wrongly suspiciously) what was planned as just a trip for Julian with his dad turned into Cynthia coming along most of the time.]

Cynthia'a account about how this meeting was set-up and why she was with them during the trip.

Tony King in The Tastemaker simply writes: “John Lennon wanted to see his son, so I took Julian and John’s ex-wife Cynthia along with me.”

August 6th '74

John, May, Cyn and Julian return to LA for John to record Goodnight Vienna with Ringo.

In the summer while working on Walls and Bridges Julian visits the studio. He records Ya Ya with his dad.

Little interview bit with Julian about being in the studio.

August 19th, 1974

John and May take a trip to Denver. Instead of coming with them Julian stays with Cyn in LA.

When the whole vacation is coming to a close, it is decided that Julian should come for another visit for Christmas. John is clear that he wants him to come alone.

Both May Pang and Cynthia wrote about this visit in their memoirs. [Cynthia is clearly mixing up and merging the first and second trip together in her recollection of it.]

Cynthia's account.

May's account.

December 19th, 1974

Julian, accompanied by Apple staffer Steve Brendell, arrived in NY on this day for Christmas with John and May. Mimi was also invited but declined to come.

While they were in NY Yoko also came by because she wanted to greet Julian.

John, May and Julian flew to Florida on December 22. Lennon said he accepted Levy's Florida invitation "because I was so worn out anyway" from back-to-back studio projects "that I didn't know what to do with my son Julian." John figured that at Disney World, "I could sort of sit in a room or something and Julian could play with Morris's kid." John's quotes are from his trial testimony Big Seven Music Corp, 75Civ, 1116; In Stan Soocher Baby You're a Rich Man, Suing the Beatles for Fun and Money

Until 29 December they spent time in Palm Beach and later returned to Orlando (Disney World).

During this visit, Julian was helpful in influencing John and George making up and the thus the dissolution agreement of the Beatles coming along.

Julian remembers his Christmas visit with John and May fondly: “My memories of that time with Dad and May are very clear - they were the happiest time I can remember with them.” Julian in The Times, June 13 2009

May Pang in Loving John on this visit.

Cynthia writes about this visit in her book.

Video from May Pang's Lost Weekend documentary. [She says Long Island but I guess it's Palm Beach.]

In early February 1975 John moves back into the Dakota and resumes his marriage with Yoko.

John gives an interview to SPIN magazine in early spring 1975. In it he is asked about his private life, his recent return to Yoko, what his relationship with May is like now, and also about Julian:

How about you as a father? How old is your son [Julian] now? He is 11 now. All I know is that you took him to Disneyworld … right? Yeah, that was hell. Disneyland was better, the first time, in L.A., I took him there. Because I went with a gang, and there were a few of us who were flying a little. But Disneyworld — I was there on the most crowded day of the year, around Christmas or something. Seeing him is good. What we do is irrelevant. I went through a period of, “What are we gonna do?” and all that crap. It doesn’t really matter. As long as he’s around. Cause I don’t see him that often. How is it for an 11-year-old boy to have John Lennon as a father? It must be hell. Does he talk about that to you? No, because he is a Beatle fan. I mean, what do you expect?? I think he likes Paul better than me ��� I have the funny feeling he wishes Paul was his dad. But unfortunately he got me … It must be hard to be son of anybody. He is a bright kid and he’s into music. I didn’t encourage him, but he’s already got a band in school. But they sing rock’n’roll songs, ’cause their teacher is my age. So he teaches them “Long Tall Sally” and a couple of Beatles numbers. He likes Barry White and he likes Gilbert O’ Sullivan. He likes Queen, though I haven’t heard them yet. He turns me on to music. I call him and he says, “Have you heard Queen?” and I say “No, what is it?” I’ve heard of them. I’ve seen the guy … the one who looks like Hitler playing a piano … Sparks? I’ve seen Sparks on American TV. So I call him and say, “Have you seen Sparks? Hitler on the piano?” and he says, “No. They are alright. But have you seen Queen?” and I say “What’s Queen?” and then he tells me. His age group is hipper to music … at 11 I was aware of music, but not too much.

Link to the SPIN interview

March 11th 1975

John is interviewed by Bob Harris on The Old Grey Whistle Test. He sends greetings to Julian, Mimi and the rest of his family in England.

30 July 1975

About Julian ... I'm lucky if I see/hear from him myself. She allowed him over here twice last year ... but insisted on coming herself! You can imagine how thrilling that was ... she thought she could walk back in coz I wasn't with yoko!! Now we're back together again she stops him phoning me ... which he did a lot last year ... once a week. He's a bright little boy ... a bit 'sneaky' like his dad ... but he's gonna need that to survive his mother! Our relationship is pretty good --- he knows where I am and what my life is like ... he thinks of me a litlle too much in terms of 'money' etc ... which is what cyn and her mother (so called) have taught him (by example). He will run right to me when he's older ... we all run somewhere ... so I can wait. I got him well hooked on America ... which isan extraordinary place to say the least ... more on that in other letters perhaps. Oh yes the baby is due in November! Conceived feb 6. I tried to send Julia to see julian ... she was given the cold shoulder. When I get to England I'll show you them both. I would love to see yours. Letter to Leila, John Lennon Letters edited by Hunter Davies

After only five months being back with Yoko, communication with Julian has become more sporadic again. To his cousin Leila John complains that it's Cynthia keeping Julian from calling and about her tagging along the previous year. He also claims that he sent Julia to check in on Julian.

Julia Baird in a '83 interview confirms John's claim to Leila, that he hadn't heard from Julian and sent his little sister to check up on him.

"He kept asking in letters and on the phone, 'Please will you go and see Julian? Will you go and see Julian? Will you go see and see Julian? I haven't heard from Julian. His mother's got a cob on. Can you please go and see what's going on?' [...] Anyway eventually Aaron persuaded me that I should go. He was the one that when we got another letter asking, 'Have you been to see Julian yet?', he said, 'Look, he's never asked you to do anything. I think you should go.' [...] We went and John had given us the address, I didn't know where it was. And she seemed very embarrassed to see me. In fact so much so, that I backed off. I just said, 'Is Julian there, please? I'd like to see him.' And she said, 'No, he's gone out.' And I just said, 'Well goodbye, then.' It was very odd, very bizarre."

In her memoir Cyn doesn't mention John sending family to check on them but has an opposing recollection of who was unreachable:

"Initially he did: he phoned Julian as before, every few weeks. But the calls became less frequent, and all too often when Julian tried to phone John he couldn't get through. Yoko, or one of their employees, would tell him that John was sleeping or busy. Discouraged, Julian would wait weeks before trying again. " Cynthia Lennon, John p. 346

1 May '76

Cyn marries John Twist. John and Yoko send a telegram: "Congratulations, good luck, God bless the three of you, John and Yoko.”

According to Cynthia a few weeks later John calls her to invite Julian over for a visit during the school holidays to meet his brother. Yoko and John take the children for a holiday to Long Island. Cynthia also writes that Julian was mugged during his stay in NY, when John told him to go out by himself to buy a harmonica he wanted.

Photos of Julian with John and Yoko in summer 1976.

The only other person I have read mention the '76 visit is John Green in Dakota Days.

As the apartment at the Dakota grew more crowded, John retreated to the quieter and more spacious southern shore of Long Island. He took Sean with him and brought Julian over from Britain. Yoko kept him posted with a barrage of phone calls. "How goes the war, Charles?" he chimed into the receiver. "No casualties so far. How goes the peace?" "Great. It's absolutely beautiful. I've got a bit of sea and a bit of green and my sons, and even once in a while I even have my wife. You should come out here and get some of this. It's delightful." Dakota Days, p.97

[Aside from Cynthia's and Green's brief mentions of the trip, there is very little information on this NY visit. Even Robert Rosen, who supposedly read John's diaries multiple times, has nothing to say about this or the '77 visits. He even claims repeatedly that Julian and John first reunited in 1979 and hadn't seen each other for four years at that point.]

One of Julian's memories that most likely fits this visit:

Julian first played piano when he was thirteen, visiting his father and Yoko in Montauk, Long Island, after Sean, his half brother, was born. Their next-door neighbor had a piano, and Julian and his father went there one day. Lennon played a couple of tunes, then Julian asked, "Can I have a go?" Julian to Rolling Stone, 1985

Another one that Julian doesn't connect to a date but he remembers the new situation after his little brother was born:

[Yoko] was very loving towards me, even after their son Sean was born. Right at the beginning I felt a few pangs. They were there with their own son. Where did I fit in? But every time I went over Dad would lay on amazing treats, and Yoko was always loving towards me." Julian, 1982

In the same interview Julian also tells the story of his dad offering him a joint when he was about 12, so that might have also been the '76 visit, or the '74/'75 Christmas visit.

Cynthia claims she had trouble getting the money she was supposed to use for Julian's school. She asked John to split the trust fund, so that she can withdraw money from it easier. John agreed.

Cynthia publishes the letter in her book John and calls it "cautious, polite and to the point":

"I explained that, as he and Yoko were out of the country, it was impossibly difficult for me to get at Julian's money: 'Nothing can proceed without your signature - it means I'm forever overdrawn at the bank and have to wait on the convenience of your lawyers ... I want the best for Julian, and his standard of life shouldn't suffer because of lack of good management on your part, which has been happening since the fund was set up ... The money, instead of having doubled through good investment, is dwindling through lack of interest on your part ... It's just so important that this whole arrangement is sorted out without animosity or aggravation ... The way things are going Julian's financial prospects when he is 25 will be virtually nil and he is going to want to know why... It is one thing fighting for your rights but totally ridiculous fighting against your own son's interests, which is what seems to be happening.' "

[She says she ends the letter with thanking them for arranging the Concorde flight for Julian last summer. However according to wiki Concorde didn't fly to NYC until November 1977. (That years Christmas John and Yoko do indeed book a Concorde flight for Julian.) So I suspect that her supposed letter is specifically written for her book and not an actual document as the presentation suggests.]

In mid-October Cynthia gives an interview to Woman magazine that also got picked up in multiple newspapers. In it she talks about their relationship splitting after their first LSD trip, John getting upset with Julian when he couldn't eat with a knife, alleges that she was being followed by a private detective in Italy,...

A report on the article in the Burton Daily Mail from 19 October '76 also quotes Cynthia as saying:

"Since then their relationship has been beautiful," she says. "They talk a lot on the phone, there've been other visits and he's going again this year. I believe now that John is completely off all drugs, has been off them for years, otherwise I'd never let Julian go."

[He's going again this year indicates that there was another visit planned in 1976. If that happened or fell through, I haven't found anything about that.]

October 25th, 76

John sends Julian a postcard from Singapore. “What happened to ya?”

Even though the previous few months there was a visit and positive communication about the finances, Cynthia's decision to publicly complain in the papers angered John. He responded on November 26th 1976 with an open letter in the Daily Mail.

"Lennon tells first wife: Stop blaming Yoko," it read: "As you and I well know, our marriage was over long before the advent of LSD or Yoko Ono. Your memory is impaired to say the least. Your version of our first LSD trips is rather vague. You seem to have forgotten subsequent trips altogether. You also seem to have forgotten that only two years ago, while I was separated from Yoko Ono, you suddenly brought Julian to see me in Los Angeles after three years of silence. During that visit you didn't allow me to be alone with him for one moment. You even asked me to remarry you and give you another child 'for Julian's sake.' I politely told you no and that anyway I was still in love with Yoko. Finally, I don't blame you for wanting to get away from your Beatle past, but if you are serious about it you should try to avoid talking to and posing for magazines and newspapers. We did have some good years so dwell on them for a change."

Cynthia answers to the press after this, saying she doesn't want them to throw mud at each other and repeated "All I want to do is forget the Beatles and enjoy my present life". Still, only a few months later in 1977 she starts to write A Twist of Lennon (allegedly gleefully on a typewriter Yoko had gifted Julian). In her later memoir John she writes she was persuaded to do it by her husband John Twist who believed it would make their fortune.

Julian is sent to boarding school for that time. [In her book John Cynthia explicitly remembers that she moved to Ireland to write. However newspaper reports from the time suggest that the move happened later. So, probably Julian wasn't boarding at this time but those months in '78.]

At the same time communication between John and Julian was happening regularly and according to his diaries he got excited by the idea of buying Julian a keyboard.

July 14th, 1977

December 25th 1977

Julian comes by Concorde to stay at the Dakota during his school holidays.

[At the time of Julian's visit John and Yoko were still helped by the FBI to deal with the kidnapping threat and extortion attempt that had been going on for weeks and scared them badly. Also, Tony Cox had made contact by phone and agreed that Kyoko could visit for these holidays but then disappeared again and John would never hear again from Kyoko. I don't know if Julian was told any of this but I assume it probably was one of the more tense christmases.]

Going by Giuliano because neither Cynthia nor Robert Rosen mention this trip by Julian at all, John was very excited about Julian coming getting up early and baking bread for him. Julian gets close to Nishi and thereby brings forth John's competitive streak. John tries out the parental philosophy of wanting to spend time with Julian instead of giving him material goods, Julian goes 'oh, really' and John caves in. When he leaves John draws a portrait of Julian. Source

[Since Robert Rosen, who also read the diaries, doesn't even know about the '76 or '77 visits (and Giuliano too thinks they saw each other last at Disney World), they may not be the source for the above. I thought it might have been from Dakota Days but it's not. John Green mentions the '77 Christmas visit but says the family were going to Florida to meet Julian there because of the security threats. I think Green is confusing this and a later visit, so I will insert his account of what John told him on returning there.]

Julian stays most of January. Goes to see the musical The Magic Show with Yoko and the band Riff-Raff with John. 

In February of 1978 Cynthia and her husband sell their house and move away from Ruthin to Eire to avoid a 'wealth tax'. They leave Julian to be a boarder at his school. Cynthia and John Twist return in December, probably because they missed Julian.

April 1978

[It's not actually dated aside from being from 1978, I just assume the guitar was Julian's birthday gift.]

GIBSON Les Paul 25/50 guitar

"Dad gave me this special order rare model - it was always exciting to receive something like this from my dad. When I visited Dad we would sit down together and he would teach me a few chords and help me improve my technique." Julian in Beatles Memorabilia. The Julian Lennon Collection.

May 19th 1978

A conversation with Cyn and excerpts from her memoir A Twist of Lennon are published in News of the World.

John, Yoko and Sean are in Japan for their summer vacation. Through his London lawyers John tries to stop the publication of Cynthia's book as a serial in the News Of The World.

Tuesday, June 13th, 1978 Having been telephoned in Japan with the details of Cynthia's memoir excerpt in News Of The World, John instructed his solicitors to issue a High Court injunction in an effort to prevent the publication of a planned second installment. Frere Cholmeley & Co., Lennon's attorney in London, described the piece as 'a salacious and gribby little article,' although it was qualified with the statement: 'He does not deny that he held parties or took drugs, but he deplores the publication of intimate details of his married life.' Friday, June 16th, 1978 In the case of Lennon v. News Group Newspapers Ltd and Twist, Lord Denning rejected John's application for an injunction in London's High Court today, permitting the publication of more excerpts from A Twist Of Lennon. For his par, Denning was not impresses with John's argument that the article's publication was a breach of confidence of the marriage: 'I cannot see that either of these two parties have had much regard for the sanctity of marriage ... It seems to me as plain as can be that the relationship of these parties has ceases to be their own private affair. They themselves have put it into the public domain.' Sunday, June 18th, 1978 Having successfully defended the right to publish excerpts from A Twist Of Lennon, today's edition of News Of The World featured part two of their series: 'How Yoko stole my husband.' " Lennonology

When the book actually was released feelings turned out to be much softer than expected. Cyn ends her first memoir with the words :

I still feel very proud of the Beatles and their accomplishments. My life during that period was an education, an education I wouldn't have missed. It has left me feeling enriched, not embittered, enlightened not blinded. All I can think to conclude my story is to say, 'Thanks for the memories, and in the words of the I CHING, no blame.'"

After finishing reading his ex-wife's book, according to Robert Rosen, John was relieved and enjoyed the nostalgia. He said a prayer for Cyn: "Dear God, please show her The Way. Thank You. Thank You."

Postcard to Julian:

[I can't make out the date on the card. Julian's Beatles memorabilia book says it's from '71 but that's obviously wrong with Sean being included and Julian's Ruthin address on it. John makes the reference to being a farmer. They bought their farm in February 1978, so I put it that year. May be wrong though.]

March 21st 1979

Julian is supposed to join John, Sean and Yoko's visiting nieces in Palm Beach.

[John taking a photo of Julian in '79]

There are multiple, very different accounts for this visit, that includes Julian's 16th birthday celebration.

John bought Julian a motorcycle for his birthday.

At one point they went to Disney World, (which none of the accounts of the trip even mention), where this photo of Julian and Yoko's nieces was taken:

Accounts from:

Robert Rosen [Rosen writes that Dan Richter's children came for a visit. Correction: I said before that that because Dan wrote in his book that he never saw John again after 1974, it seemes unlikely to me that his kids would be sent out to John and Yoko five years later. However Dan Richter does confirm that in his interview on the Podcast Glass Onion: On John Lennon episode 16:

"My kids would go down, they had a place down in Palm Beach or whatever it was down in Florida. And they were there at Christmas and bring Julian and they would fly my kids down to play with Julian. And everybody, the sense we got was they were happy!"

This visit doesn't happen over Christmas but it sounds like he is talking about more than one occasion that happened and probably Christmas is one example. Could also mean that Rosen is mixing up the occasion for that anecdote.]

Cynthia Lennon

Fred Seaman

Geoffrey Giuliano

John Green [Green puts this actually to the '77 holiday visit, where he wrongly writes they went to Florida. I think (if his stories are to be believed at all) he confuses John's anger and disappointment upon return with this visit of Julian's. It also fits with being in Florida.]

[I recommend to read all of them. Lots of drama. I may one day make a comparison post between all the account because they are fascinatingly different.]

April 9th 1979

John writes to Mimi saying Julian would be welcome to live with them if he so chose but there had been no arrangements made.

Q: Did you ever plan to go and live with him [John] in New York? Julian: "When I was in my early teens we'd spoken on the phone about the possibility of me going to college over there. I think it was wishful thinking on both our parts because I felt uncomfortable about the situation and I believe he did, too." Hello! Magazine, 1995

April 25th 1979, Postcard to Julian from NY:

Julian declines to join his dad, Yoko and Sean for their family's yearly vacation in Japan.

[July 1979 In the context of getting one of his guitars Julian said that John bought him a Sony Walkman as a gift when they were brand-new. He puts around '73-'74. However according to wikipedia the Sony Walkman was first sold in July '79, so that present would have been sent to Julian around this time, maybe directly from Japan.]

December 1979

On 3rd-4th December there is a two part feature in the Daily Mail called "The Sons of the Beatles" on Julian and Zak.

"When I'm in New York, we go out quite a lot together round some of the art galleries, or to his house at Long Island. When we stay in we have musical jam sessions together singing out latest songs to each other. I still listen to Beatles music. Although I quite like some of my father's solo albums, I much prefer what he did with the Beatles." (quoted from Lennonology p. 508)

Also that month:

"More disturbing to John were the ongoing trials with Julian. The sullen teen continued to vex his father with his on-again, off-again plans to visit over Christmas. At first Julian said maybe, as long as they didn't go to Florida. Then it was a flat no, using school exams and a new girlfriend as an excuse. At the last minute he called saying he would come to New York only if he could bring a friend, but Yoko turned him down. As usual John didn't challenge her. Julian retaliated by sending his father a tabloid article about rock stars' sons, which focused on both him and Ringo's son Zak Starkey, and went into detail about the trials of being the offspring of a Beatle." Lennon in America by Giuliano p. 218

On the other hand John Green does write that Julian spent Christmas '79 with John, Yoko and Sean. He even says that Julian stayed until February. ("John stayed in the Palm Beach house until February, luxuriating in the sun and sea, forging new ties with Julian and delighting in rediscoveries of himself." p.229) [This can't be true however because John was definitely in NY for Christmas and New Years. John and Yoko did buy a house in Palm Beach late January however and were spotted there a few times in February. I can't find a mention of Julian being spotted with them, so it may or may not have happened. I do think between the two of them Giuliano's account is probably more accurate. The Daily Mail article he mentions of Zak and Julian had come out on 3 or 4 December, so that is also believable that it had come up in pre-christmas discussions. But of course it's possible that a visit happened anyway.]

1980

Julian called in February 1980 to set up another meeting with his dad. This time John denied him, surprisingly because he was worried about Julian's schooling. Through Cynthia he had learned that Julian was failing his O-levels, had started smoking, staying out at night drinking, had gotten in trouble with the police for setting up fires and racing through town on a dirt bike. "John just prayed that Julian didn't hurt himself." There is also continued conflict over money. John felt that Julian every time they spoke asked him for more money. "And though John continued to feel guilty about having abandoned Julian and Cynthia, he'd be damned if he was going to be like every other rich asshole father who'd abandoned his family and then used money as a poor substitute for love and companionship." source

In March 'A Twist of Lennon' gets its paperback release and new reviews are printed in the press.

Summer 1980

When John sat for a portrait painting with Sean for the artist Nancy Gosnell, he wondered if she could also do one of him and Julian from a photograph. He wanted to give him a father and son portrait for his birthday, according to Fred Seaman.

September 1980

PLAYBOY: "Your son, Julian, from your first marriage must be in his teens. Have you seen him over the years?" LENNON: "Well, Cyn got possession, or whatever you call it. I got rights to see him on his holidays and all that business, and at least there's an open line still going. It's not the best relationship between father and son, but it is there. He's 17 now. Julian and I will have a relationship in the future. Over the years, he's been able to see through the Beatle image and to see through the image that his mother will have given him, subconsciously or consciously. He's interested in girls and autobikes now. I'm just sort of a figure in the sky, but he's obliged to communicate with me, even when he probably doesn't want to." PLAYBOY: "You're being very honest about your feelings toward him to the point of saying that Sean is your first child. Are you concerned about hurting him?" LENNON: "I'm not going to lie to Julian. Ninety percent of the people on this planet, especially in the West, were born out of a bottle of whiskey on a Saturday night, and there was no intent to have children. So 90 percent of us... that includes everybody... were accidents. I don't know anybody who was a planned child. All of us were Saturday-night specials. Julian is in the majority, along with me and everybody else. Sean is a planned child, and therein lies the difference. I don't love Julian any less as a child. He's still my son, whether he came from a bottle of whiskey or because they didn't have pills in those days. He's here, he belongs to me and he always will."

Playboy: I was under the impression that you still weren't seeing Julian much. Lennon: Well, no, he's comin' here over shortly now. I see him whenever he get's off school. Playboy: Has it been hard for him to be John Lennon's kid? Lennon: Yeah, he has his own... Everybody has a cross to bear, and Julian has that cross, and he'll deal with it. He's a clever boy, and as he gets older we can communicate and he'll understand.

[I wasn't sure what upcoming visit John is referring to since I couldn't find one mentioned anywhere. However there is an article in the Daily Mirror from 8 October 1980 including interview passages with Cynthia that mentions Julian currently being in New York. So without any photographic evidence, he isn't in any of the birthday photos, or anecdotes about it, there still might be the possibility that there was a (pre-)birthday visit from Julian to John and Sean in 1980. Julian himself hasn't been completely consistent on when he last saw his Dad. He has said that his '79 birthday visit was their last meeting (which I think is most likely correct), but he also claimed that he was flying out regularly.]

"According to Cynthia, Julian, now 18, plays guitar better than his father. He has left school and is off to New York to stay with his famous dad." Link to the article

In an interview with Jonathan Cott on 5 December John reflects more on the troubles of being a Beatle's son and on how mistakes in his decision for Julian's schooling changed his outlook on his plans for Sean. [Julian had been going to private school since at least 1973.]

"[...] because he can't possibly be an average child, being the son of famous parents. I tried that game with my son Julian, sending him to a comprehensive working-class school, mixing with the people, but the people spat and shit on him, because he was famous, as people are wont to do. So his mother had to finally turn around and tell me to piss off: 'I'm sending him to a private school, the kid is suffering here.' "

Cynthia writes that by the end of 1980 Julian felt a breakthrough in his and his father's relationship. John played Julian songs from his new album over the phone, asking his opinions. source

Julian himself reflects on his and his dad's relationship by the time of his death like this:

"I know that dad's presence will be around for a long time. He was always joking, always sounded happy, which made me think more of him as a friend than a dad. My earliest memory of my father was when I was about three and he sang happy birthday to me. We were living at Weybridge, Surrey, and dad threw a birthday party for me and brought in a long cake shaped like a train and festooned with candles." Sunday Mirror, 5 April 1981

As early as 1982 negative feelings would influence Julian's memory, saying he didn't get to see his father for five years, that he only heard on Birthdays and Christmas from him or that after the first US visit it was again years before he got to go another time, when it was merely months.

"The Beatles sang 'All You Need Is Love' - and that is all I wanted from Dad. It is difficult to explain why I should feel so strongly, when we shared so little. Never once in all the years he lived in America did he even think about coming to see me. Apart from rare visits, I lived from birthdays to Christmas just to hear from him." Julian, 1982

[Those false memories/presentations may have been the result of his beginning break from Yoko around that time and the conflicts about money, or maybe his memories just adapted to the way it was talked about in his family.]

"It was more of one man to another than the usual father and son relationship, because he had been away from me a lot, and he said he realized that. I was just getting through to him and growing up myself and growing out of the silly giggling I did as a young teenager that really annoyed him, when Dad was killed." Julian quoted in Ray Coleman's John bio, pp.620

"Dad was such an influence in my life, it must have been hard on Mum. She'd do her best with presents at birthdays and Christmas, but I always waited for that special present that was bigger than anything else - from him. Yet he never sent anything spontaneously. He'd phone up and ask what I wanted, and it would arrive. I don't think he was trying to buy me in any way. It was just a chance for him to do something for me. He knew I wanted to be a musician and kept telling me to take a long time to get it right. He removed a lot of the stress I suppose other kids might feel. I didn't do very well at school. I don't think I'm dense, but I suppose I'm a bit lazy. There's only one thing I want - to know for sure that Dad loved me as much as I loved him. Or maybe to have him back." Julian, 1982

Edits: 29 April - December 1974 John trial quote added; September 1980 Playboy interview quote added 6 May - added Julian quote about relationship to his father by the time of his death 7 May - added Old Grey Whistle Test clip March 11th 1975 18 May - added info about 3-4 December '79 Daily Mail feature on Julian and Zak, added all the info I could find on any visits in John Green's Dakota Days and multiple notes on to those mentions. 20 May - added Cyn's quote for 28 May 1972. 23 June - added the Tittenhurst floorplan and the link to an extended quote from Julian about being there in German 8 July - added quote from 5 Dec 1980 to Jonathan Cott 20 July - added Julia Baird audio on trying to see Julian for John 1975 22 July - added info on a possible 1980 visit, 1973 interviews, 1976 info, 1980's quote 30 July - Spin interview '75 added, Cynthia quote from Burton Daily Mail '76 added 1 August - added bits from Julian's 1982 article throughout, transcribed some of the jpg quotes, so that I may add more photos, some photos added 4 August - correction in my comments about the likelihood of Dan Richter's children being with them in 1979 19 August - Box of Smile 8 October - Added some postcards, the guitars, reset some photographs because of the picture limit 12 November - Added the video clip from May Pang's doc

[wolven91]

A Coiled Mind

"Desh? Can I speak to you for a moment?" asked the human on the ssypno’s door step.

"Ah Daniel, of course you can; please come in!"

The human known as Daniel was a diligent worker, but even Desh had noticed a marked change in their demeanour recently, one that had worried her. Very new to the galactic scene, the humans were industrious and quick to pick up new tasks once shown, but thanks to the chaos of a few months ago, Desh considered them fragile. 

As his direct controller, she wanted to make sure she was available for him, but hadn't pressured him to speak in case he hadn't wanted to. She wasn’t a psychologist, she had no formal training and had to rely on the official government therapy sessions given to the humans that they would be enough or catch any pent up emotions. 

He stepped into her home and stood there awkwardly for a moment, scratching at his arm. It took a moment to twig that something was seriously wrong as she made her way to get him a drink from the kitchen area. 

She stopped her short journey across the room and looked back at him, frowning and returning to the man. The large serpent lowered herself down to his level. Her length was immense and trailed lazily round the room, but she pulled herself into a tight knit of a roiling mass of scales to give the smaller human more space in her home. He had worked with her a while now, so she assumed he was fine with her, but was aware that she could still be intimidating at the best of times.

"Daniel? Is everything... okay?" She reached out a hand, but hesitated. She so desperately wanted to touch him, but was unsure if she was allowed to at this moment. Humans were one of the races to be warm blooded, but were the only one without a dense layer of fur. Thanks to this lack of insulation, they were walking, talking heat lamps to her kind. It would be so easy to hold on to them and never let go, but she mustn't, she had to give them space lest she scare him off, they were significantly smaller after all at only six foot tall compared to her forty five feet on length.

"I... I just.. it-" he cut himself off as a sob broke forth. She made the call to surge forward and pull him into a tight hug against herself. Two of her arms, the lower set grasping his back while her upper set; one hand found the back of his neck and her fourth and final hand slid through his short brown fur that topped his head. Her muscular lower body, a single thick tube of scales and muscles wound around his legs and raised him up into the air so she could hold him without stooping low.

"Hey! Heeeey, come on now... it's okay... it's okay now.. " She said, continuing to whisper sweet nothings into his ear as she propelled herself backwards into her home. To an outsider, it would appear as if she were a predator with a successful hunt within her clutches. 

She weaved and wrapped him thoroughly against herself as he quaked and sobbed against her.

Eventually he did begin to settle and started to apologise for his 'outburst'. Desh was shocked and sickened to think that he thought the need to apologise for something as natural as his reactions.

His home world was lost, he was part of an endangered species, he had every right to be upset and yet he had soldiered on for two months since the catastrophic events of the Sol System.

"Human Daniel, do not ever apologise to me for seeking me out to unwind. If you need to cry, you cry to me. If you don't want anyone else to know, then no one will know my friend... okay?"

He nodded his head, trying to wipe his eyes with hands already wet with his tears.

"If your kind are half as strong as you, then you will all be alright friend-Daniel, but I think today will be spent here, if that is alright?" He nodded again and whispered; 

"I'd like that Desh... thank you..."

Her tail began to wind and spool around his shorter legs bringing them together before it wound up further curling around his hips and stomach. She gave him the option to have his arms down or up, to which he placed his arms against himself. Her tail finished by sinching around the tiny neck that all humans had.

Feeling bold, she grasped his head in either of her hands, the deep blue scales standing in stark contrast to his skin.

"Look into my eyes dear.. look how they swirl with colours, do you see?"

His tense body within her coils started to ease. In the primitive times, this would be where she would tighten and squeeze her prey before devouring it whole.

But for now, she would luxuriate in the waves of heat he gave off. She would let him rest and sooth, while she was paid in the most intimate spar treatment she had ever felt.

No wonder she was banned from touching Humans normally, nothing would ever get done if it felt like this...

[jmagnabo92]

Playful kiss + FirstPrince please 💙

Awwww, I love these two! Hope you like it :)

***

If there’s one thing Alex loves about living in New York City with the love of his life, it’s that they can just… be.  There’s always this sense when they’re at the Palace or the White House or even at some hotel for some event that they can’t just be themselves. 

It’s as if – even alone in their rooms – they’re worried about someone catching a glimpse of them or hear them being themselves and getting criticized for it.  Alex always thought it made sense at Palace to feel that way, but the other places had taken several months of therapy for him to realize just how much of a role he was playing for his mom rather than getting to be himself.

Which is why both he and Henry have taken to try and be left alone by doing less appearances and claiming that they’re just busy with law school and Henry’s shelters, but that doesn’t always work.

They’d just gotten in from an appearance overseas that was thankfully together and almost as soon as they enter the safety of their home, the door locked behind them, Alex can feel the shift in their demeaner.  Both of them visibly relax and Alex is happy to drop their bags on the floor and deal with unpacking and laundry and all that later. 

Right now, he wants to play and savor being together.

Thus, he leads Henry to the middle of their living room and gives him a grin as he pulls out his phone to find the silliest song they could dance to.

“What are you doing, love?” Henry questions, trying to peek at Alex’s phone.

“You’ll see,” Alex replies, mischievously, before he finally finds ‘Get Low’ on his playlist.

Henry doesn’t get the chance to push because the song comes on and he bursts out laughing.  “Really?”

Alex laughs.  “We’ve just spent the last three days stuck playing the Prince and the First Son in Italy, it’s time relax and unwind, and I still haven’t taught you about dry humping to this song.”

“We are not dry humping to this song,” Henry states, plainly, but the sternness gets lost in his smile as Alex grabs his hips and starts forcing him to dance. 

Unlike the first time Henry heard this song, way back before their first kiss, Alex doesn’t feel Henry tense rather he melts at Alex’s touch and lets loose the way Alex had wanted him to let loose back then and it’s wonderful.

They get lost in the music and each other, dancing until Alex leans forward to kiss him, but Henry deciding to be playful dodges it and moves in a way that ends with them both on the ground. 

They’re laughing and grinning and Alex leans down (because somehow, he ended up on top of Henry) and playfully kisses his cheeks and his nose. 

Henry obviously anticipates a kiss on the lips because he leans up ready to capture Alex’s lips with his own, eyes closed, and therefore in the perfect position for Alex to mess with him, so rather than kiss him, he licks him on nose causing Henry’s eyes to shoot open. 

A second later (after Henry’s processed what just happened), Henry’s turned the tables on him, and Alex finds himself on his back trapped by Henry’s hands on either side of his head, and his legs on either side of his waist. 

He’s got that fire in his eyes that’s playful and promising as he says, “And just what was that, my love?  Have you decided to become David?”

“Maybe,” Alex teases.  “Or maybe you just made it easy.  Now, where’s my kiss?”

Henry scoffs.  “No kisses for you until you apologize for acting like a dog.”

Alex laughs as despite his words, Henry’s playfully kissing him all over his face, just avoiding his lips.  They do this sometimes, just playing and enjoying and he loves it – they both do.  “I think you like it when I’m a dog, as now you’re the one in control.”

Henry hums, kissing his nose.  “Or maybe I like it because it’s just so… you.”

Alex grins.  “Then, that means I deserve a proper kiss, no?”

Henry smiles, too.  “I suppose.”

With that, he leans down kissing him, teasingly, the promise of more on his lips.  He lets Alex follow him when he leans back until they’re laying on their sides facing one another, happy and relaxed, and so … at home.

They continue making out and enjoying the teasing and playfulness of their kisses, forgetting about the tension of their trip – of playing their parts – and just finally having this… their home together. 

It’s exactly what they needed and it’s perfect.

***

Thanks for reading :). If you wanna play along, send me an ask with a Type of Kiss + Pairing for said kiss :)

[aajjks]

*bunny!noona goes and picks up her son after school* hey baby, how was school? i have a surprise! mommy took the next two week off so i can stay with you! yes baby, mommy is going to e with you your whole vacation! we can put the christmas tree up tomorrow, does that sound nice? you made a christmas ornament? can mommy see? oh baby…is that you and me? it’s beautiful buddy..

*noona notices that noah didn’t add jungkook to the painting of their little family. although jungkook hasn’t been a very active father recently, let alone husband.. him and their son use to have a very special bond.. jungkook was the perfect husband and father. everything they did, was together. the spent weekends at the park, made dinner together, movie nights and important thing. everything was perfect.. that was until jungkook got a new job, a job noona didn’t know much about. for a while after he became a full time employee, everything was perfect. she cut back from a full time job to a part time clothing store so she could drop off and pick up their baby boy as he started kindergarten. jungkook would come home the same time and spend the rest of the day bonding with his family. seven months after starting his job, he slowly stopped coming home on time, no longer no more playing with his son, no longer slept in the bed with noona, there was no more reading to his son before tucking him into bed, there was no more making love to his wife at night, everything just stopped. after noona was turned down every time she were to ask jungkook if he was okay or suggest couples therapy.. she gave up.. she no longer has anymore fight left in her heart when she sees how much jungkooks absence has affected their son.. so noona started making a plan..*

hey noah, mommy went and talked to the lawyer today, the one that’s going to help you and mommy leave daddy.. how much longer? well i don’t know baby, mommy’s is saving up her money. i was looking at apartments today, i think i found a great one for you and me. you’ll still have your own room and mommy will have hers but the living room is huge. ill take you this weekend and i’ll see what you think okay? if you like it mommy with put the money down for it. uh oh.. daddy’s already home? that’s unusual.. okay baby listen. these papers right here are the papers daddy can’t see okay? theses are the divorce papers mommy has to fill out. mommy is going to fill these out soon but i need to hide them until daddy isn’t around mommy. i’ll probably do it tonight, i’ll put them in my room somewhere since daddy has been sleeping on the couch.. i’ll just put them in my purse for right now.. i need you to promise me you won’t tell daddy about us going to see the apartments this weekend. pink promise? good. okay, grab your bag and let’s go in yeah?

you’re home early, normally you don’t come in until 12 at night, everything okay? hm, okay. well noah, baby, go unwind a little bit while mommy makes you and i dinner. chicken strips, friends, and maybe.. cookies for dessert sound good? you really are my baby.. i love you. now go on, i’ll call you down. no i don’t want help, i just want to get this done so i can get him ready for our movie night. no, he’s out of school for the next week or so for christmas. well you took the living room over so we’ve been having our movie nights in my room. you have work tomorrow and he’s really excited so he’ll probably be up for a long time tonight so i’ll make sure he keeps it down. jungkook, i need the counter, move you papers to the dinner table or something.

“Noona… he’s already going to sleep?? OK well do you need help? I could!!!! But what’s wrong with you? After so long I finally got to come home early… work has been hectic to say the least.. but I did miss you and Noah a lot.. can I have some dinner too I’m pretty hungry? So.? I’m sorry I know about the movie nights… what if we have a movie night tomorrow? I’m free actually it’s holiday season so I got a few days off… and I’m planning to spend them with you and our son, of course- no I don’t have work tomorrow, but I don’t need to finish these papers.. but I can always do the later go and spend some time with Noah? I miss him a lot! And can I sleep in the bedroom tonight?”

[tashizweig]

is it invasive to ask about your journey with your adhd dx?? if so please delete this!! and i'm sorry i asked, but if you're comfy sharing...

no that's totally fine!

tw for suicide / suicidal ideation and depression //

so i started with therapy back in 2015 because i hit a point late that year where i realized i'd gone from passively wanting to die to actively thinking of ways to make that happen. i spent about three years doing the talk therapy part of things and unwinding a lot of the internal damage from a lifetime of parental & partner abuse.

i worked through a lot of that without any kind of medication, but around 2018, my therapist and i both agreed that a lot of the issues i was still having with anxiety attacks, racing/spiraling thoughts, and paranoia were things that could be helped more with medication. so i got a rec for a psychiatrist and ended up on an antidepressant that worked really well for me.

after a little while, i was having a lot of success with the anxiety and depression side of things, but i still was struggling to focus, or come back to tasks once i'd walked away from them, and it was still wrecking havoc on my life in a lot of ways. so my psychiatrist suggested we try a few things re: ADHD. she had me try wellbutrin for about a month, which did absolutely nothing, so she started me on a really low dose of vyvanse. and the medication did what it was supposed to: it helped me focus. the fatigue that had constantly been with me for years lightened up because i wasn't having to think twice as hard to function normally, the anxiety and stress in my work life started to ease up because i was able to actually remember to finish things.

so i kind of got diagnosed because of five or six years of trial and error rather than taking a test or anything, but i think that's kind of how late life diagnoses go a lot of the time.

[queersociologist]

This is going to be long, I apologize. It's very hard for me to unwind some of these thoughts from the rest. Thank you so much for sharing yours, and encouraging others to do the same. This experience can be, has been very isolating. I'm trying to find community where I can with it.

I caught COVID in March 2022, after spending two years in isolation. It was sort of my own fault, sort of not. I was feeling very guilty about keeping myself and my partners in isolation, and I decided to risk going to a restaurant with my partner's family.

I was so, so sick during the acute stage. For weeks. Luckily I have partners who took on caring for me. I have no idea what I would have done without them here. And even though I requested antivirals and care from my primary, she decided I was "healthy" and "low-risk" (despite having fibromyalgia and a documented under-responsive immune system) and just didn't respond to my requests until the window to take them was closed and told me I'd be fine, just get back to being active. So, I tried to be compliant.

I spent May trying to pretend like everything was fine, started college in June, and immediately developed what I recognize now as MCAS (though I still can't get a provider to take this piece seriously). I spent June, July, and August with severe hives around my eyes. In August my POTs symptoms kicked into full gear, and I started having syncope. This meant I finally got pushed into the "COVID recovery" clinic (wait-list was semi-long, I got in by December), and then physical therapy and cardiology.

The COVID clinic has helped, some, but the waves of patients they've been expected to treat keeps growing so they are now pushing me back to my primary. Honestly, the COVID clinic was in over their heads anyway. They were family medicine providers expected to diagnose and outsource us to the various specialties, educating those specialists and us and the doctors. I knew it wouldn't be sustainable. I visited my primary a couple weeks ago to get ahead of this shift and she seemed shocked to see me: "Well, what are you still struggling with?" The answer is everything, worse than before. But of course she can only address one (or maybe just like. part of one) issue at a time. Dermatology, cardiology, physical therapy are all pieces of the puzzle but not a single person has the capacity to see the full picture. Multiple body systems are failing me. And I'm a lucky long COVID patient, because I'm still somehow managing to do college. That just happens to be the only thing I can manage, and some days it's impossible to even do that.

I feel horrible that I feel so horrible and I know others have it so much worse. I feel angry about how many ways the healthcare system, and society, have failed me, my communities, and my fellow long haulers. I feel immense grief about what I used to do, that I can no longer do.

I used to do art, and I loved it. Now I have tremors that keep me from doing anything. I can't embroider, can't draw, can't do calligraphy, can't sew or craft without doing damage to my already damaged nerves. I used scissors last July and lost feeling in my thumb for two months, but was assured this couldn't possibly be part of the bigger picture (which, well. I disagree). I used to love growing and caring for plants, these days I can't water or care for them and I can't even look at them without being reminded of how much of myself I've lost. Ive probably thrown out two, maybe three dozen plants since I got sick. My concentration is shot and I can't write. I bought a laptop so I could start on a memoir project before I got sick, I still haven't been able to get more than fragments out at once. There's a zine I want to make about my experience with COVID, and every time I start working on it I feel so overwhelmed that I fall apart. I used to do intensive self care routines that helped keep me grounded in my body, now I'm lucky if I manage the basics without tachycardia and PEM. All of my facial care stuff is collecting dust because of the uncertainty related to the allergic reactions and my lack of energy. I dreamt of finding my community now that I live in an area with more people like me, but I can't safely do that as every event is being moved back to in-person without precautions. I live less than two hours from the ocean. In the December before I got sick I went alone and walked the beach for hours. My partner drove me to the beach this past April and I spent the entire time feeling like I was going to have a heart attack, and we barely walked more than a few hundred feet. I've had to relearn everything. I had to accept that I need mobility aids, a process I'm still working on as I learn to let myself use a wheelchair now. My makeup goes untouched because of my MCAS. Clothes go unworn because why would I wear something that causes me discomfort, when my entire life is discomfort now? I used to take a lot of joy in curating cute, queer outfits and these days I wear all cotton t-shirts and sweats, everywhere.

And over and over again people ask me "what happened to you?" and I say "I have long COVID" and they ask "Oh, well, you were probably sick before right?" and I'm reminded just how little disabled bodies matter to them, just how far they want to distance themselves from this possibility. I've lost friends. I've lost family. I've lost people who I thought loved me but who want to insinuate I did this to myself or am exaggerating, who don't want to connect with someone who isn't just "getting better". I've learned who my true family is, those who see me where I'm at and ask me how they can help.

I'd love people to write in in response to this post. I'll share my own story to get things started.

Before the pandemic started I had just started to get on the right track after an apartment fire 3 years ago at the time. Everything was thrown off by that and I developed PTSD from the event. My health and mental health conditions were well managed, including my agoraphobia and I was in good health.

Even as I sheltered in place for approximately 3 years and only did essential activities and went to essential places I still contracted covid. Sadly my carer brought it into my home and I've suffered with long covid immediately subsequent to my acute infection ever since (August 28th 2022).

It's turned my life upside down. I had planned on starting to ride my bike and now it sits in my apartment untouched. I struggle to walk, sit and balance especially for prolonged periods, at the ripe age of 31. An issue I didn't have before remotely.

And yet doctors keep mentioning anxiety, that it's not conclusive despite not studying up to date literature and published research on covid and long covid. I have no purpose for my shoes much either because travel is taxing on my body. In fact I've been at my mom's house for almost a month because I'm not well enough to return home.

Even paid my rent and electric digitally. My patio remains unoccupied, partly because I don't want harassment about wearing a mask outdoors but also would rather not see my neighbors. One of which harassed me and my carer after coming back from a very stressful dentist appointment with appalling covid safety and not having slept that day.

My computer collecting dust, partly due to the winter storm a couple months or so ago that knocked out my power and messed up the boot sequence, but also not being able to sit at and use it without swaying, heart palpations, feeling faint, and for long periods.

My kitchen sink, cooking utensils and ware goes unused most of the time because my new illness has largely robbed me of the energy and focus to prepare and cook meals. And my apartment tends to occupy me or my one support staff because of my fear of a repeat incident of someone bringing disease into my house. A disease that if I catch again well may kill me, or, faster.

My shower usually is dry as a bone, baths and showers leave me flaring and wiped for days. My hair products sit frequently untouched as I'm too exhausted to brush, braid, cover and moisturize my hair. As do my free weights and elastic PT bands. Ever since I got sick I lack stamina, experience shortness of breathe (I had asthma but it was well controlled), my heart rate spikes and I can't exercise in any way that would hit targets or be beneficial.

And finally, I have no use for many of the chairs in my home as my brain, neck and spine struggle to keep me upright. My body is in some ways new to me and after 3 plus decades in it, I have to learn it all over again.

And still my doctor recommends physical therapy despite telling her all this. And worst of all won't long covid diagnosis. She kicked me to specialist.

Specialist who are already booked out, and whose schedules and patient lists keep lengthening because of the sharp and continued rise in long covid. Knowing it could take months for me to get a diagnosis this route and even longer to get new disability aids I need if I even get documents and approvals at all.

That I can't possibly afford because I'm dirt poor. To add pain to injury, I was disabled before this. And I understood the seriousness of covid and long covid. And took every precaution. But in a society that's a threat to life and safety, I was only as safe as everyone else was and is.

Which means I wasn't and still am not. Not only do I have whatever implications and damage short and long term from my first bout of illness, I constantly have the threat of reinfections and death everyday.

And am confronted with no longer being able to do what I once did (possibly ever again) with great sadness nor test limits without high risk and unpredictable results. And it is a terrible, deeply off putting, arrogant and cruel insult to hear people write off or outright deny long covid exists and call long covid a cold. It fucking isn't.

Anyway that's my story.

[crowmagus]

Arlo's Mind

"The mask?" I ask, picking the question out of the air like a frog might a fly. "I don't mean to make assumptions, it's just you have that lingering look like you wanted to ask about it. It's not too personal, in fact I've talked about it to a plethora of strangers."

I remove my elbows from the table, and make sure my hands are out of view before I begin fidgeting, counting my fingertips idly.

"The morning after I lost two years of my life, I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. I would go to shave or wash my face and feel such an extreme discomfort. I looked at my face and I saw a puzzle with a lost piece. I saw something that could never be finished. I saw someone with no hope of ever being whole."

I move my right hand to the stem of my wine glass, my left hand tenses on my kneecap. I begin to lift the glass, but stop myself before it comes off the table. I choose to instead swirl the rose liquid absentmindedly.

"It was maddening, really. That first few months were... they were terrible. I stopped writing, I pulled away from what few friends I still had..."

My speech trails off for a moment, I think I catch something move in the reflection of the wine glass. I don't turn around to check - a writer's imagination can play tricks on them, and it wouldn't be polite to look away during a conversation like this.

"Then one day, on one of my many substance fueled benders, I found myself breaking into an imports store..."// "I had a dream where I was surrounded by stone faces..." // "A package appeared at my door, with a note attached..." // "An old woman approached me on the street..." // "I was visited by an old friend, a lover once but that's not important..." // "I spent a good deal of time in therapy..." // "My brother, who I had presumed dead in the war..."

I stop, and look out the window. Evening already, not that it matters. I look down at the notebook in front of me. It remains empty.

I look around the room, vacant but not dusty. Hadn't I just been...

I shake my head, and run a hand through my hair. Greasy. Hadn't I just showered?

I reach into my coat pocket, and find that I am not wearing my coat. I just got home... didn't I?

I find my medication, second drawer down, in my nightstand. Wasn't I just in the study?

Since when do I have a study?

I feel my thoughts unwinding and steady myself on the bed in front of me. It's soft, authentic, real wool - a luxury on this planet....this planet?

My foot catches on nothing and I fall inelegantly onto the bed. Days worth of fatigue crash into me like a rogue wave. I feel sleep grab me like a starving animal, I fumble with the pill bottle as my eyes grow heavy. Why is it so hard to open? Why won't my hands obey me? I'm so close, I'm so close, I'm so

[noortjelanterfanter]

Do I just have poor taste?

Because it seems like yes, I do. In partners that is. So, as people who have followed me for a while know, I live a poyamorous lifestyle. And a big part of living like that is communication. My newest partner hasn’t been in polyamorous relationships before and I stressed to him how important communication is to me. Somehow he neglected to tell me he has a date today until yesterday, at which time it just hit me like a fucking bomb freshly out of the spa. So not only has he singlehandedly pretty much wasted that 100 euros I spent in that damn spa, he also just neglects to tell me shit. And I’m a very traumatised person, especially when it comes to communication and trust. It’s not just because it comes with the lifestyle that I value communication. It’s because my trust has been severely broken in the past. But somehow he refuses to understand that. He doesn’t seem to understand that I have been hurt in the past because people just up and left me. So. I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about my trauma, but if I haven’t, here it is. Trigger warning on cheating, relationship problems and stuff related to that.

Sooo... I was in a monogamous relationship from my 16th till my 20th, 4 years and 12 days, to be exact. And a lot happened in those for years. I was very toxic, as I was a severely depressed, somewhat psychotic teenager and I put this poor guy through hell. I will never shun or shame him for leaving me, he should’ve done that way earlier. He was a lovely guy, I’m not sure I would’ve been here without him. He wasn’t perfect, the more I look back on it, he had his flaws too, the main one being very bigoted and extremely judgemental. I always blamed his Christianity for it, but I think he’s just a judgemental person. Anyway. The relationship should’ve ended way before it did. So... this relationship ended in November, around halfway through. Our anniversary was on November 5th. For the last part of our relationship I imagine he felt the way I feel a lot at the moment with my partners, enduring the abuse I threw at him. Anyway, over the summer I stayed at the house of an acquantance, for roughly a month. He stayed with me and it was pretty much the first time we lived together. I was in the process of getting therapy and for me it felt like we were in a relatively good place. I think in his mind he was already done, but just stayed out of habit (I kinda do the same). So at some point he has a concert planned. And I remember this very vividly, because it’s a significant moment. He went, and I didn’t, as I had decided I wouldn’t need to be in every aspect of his life and it was OK to give him some space and trust him, I think for the very first time I did this and fully felt OK with the situation. He met his current girlfriend on that event. I remember him joking that there was a girl that was very interested in him, but that she was really young. I remember joking that it was a bit early to leave me for a younger woman. And this joke haunts me. I get teary eyed remembering this. Over the next few weeks and months he slowly grew distant. He didn’t really engage with me after work when we still “lived together” snapping at me he just wanted to unwind, while he was just talking to that girl, which I didn’t know at the time, but I know now. This slowly grew... And as a depressed girl losing her one and only, I gripped on tighter. Which was the wrong thing to do, but it happens. So our anniversary comes, I think he bought me a cute gift, although I don’t remember. He posted this lengthy post on FB about how he was so fortunate to have me and how he loved me so much and how we would be together forever and blablabla. You know, the usual clingy cringy couple bullshit. And it was cute. And I felt loved. Less than 2 weeks later we were broken up. I think the weekend of the 14th of November we had a long talk. He wanted us to go to a couple  we were very close with and whom I’m still fairly close with. To talk shit out. We decided to give it another week, even though I had people standby to pick me up in case it was a break up. The day after we went to see Marilyn Manson in concert. That weekend is a weird memory. Anyway. That whole weekend was a mess of a shitton of crying, him not wanting to look at me, but at the same time telling me I wouldn’t just lose him and how he wasn’t just going to leave (funny, because he did). He was very clear and saying that BS over and over again. I left on Monday evening. We broke up the next day. He was leaving me on read and then accused me of checking on him when I told him I saw him online on FB. So we called. And this asshole breaks up with me over the phone. On Tuesday the 17th. I was devestated, but the worst was yet to come. Over the following weeks I was accused of cheating, which I had considered when I was abroad, but had not actually done, but I’m very honest. I was accused of being a psycho, I was accused of lying, of abuse, of violence. And people that know me know that, yes, emotional abuse maybe, but I am the least violent person people meet. About a month later he said I needed to move on and couldn’t let him go. I blocked him on everything on the spot and that was that. He was angry. He was really angry. Which was fine, my point was made. I unblocked him from stuff a few days later because I don’t care. It was to prove a point. In the months following, I find out he bad-mouthed me to everyone who would hear it and also to people who wouldn’t, while I defended him even though the breakup was messy on his part. So fast forward to say... December. And I see he’s in a relationship. Starting on November 16th. Which is the day before we broke up. I was livid. I talked to him and he was denying it, he said we had broken up before. But bitch, I wouldn’t have gone to see Marilyn Manson with you if we were broken up before that day. Turns out he was already in a relationship with that other girl before he even broke up with me. And didn’t admit to that until after I told him I didn’t give a shit about the fact that it was wrong on FB and I didn’t expect him to change it. Just to tell me I’m right. Which he agreed to I was. I spoke to a girl who knew him at the time. She told me he had tried to sleep with her while I was in Dublin. He denies it, but honestly, who’se going to lose face if it turns out true? Not that girl that didn’t know me. So. I find out he cheated. There’s more mess and more stuff that makes me sad, but this is the gist of what happened to me. The one person who labeled himself as loyal, turned out to not be loyal at all, broke every ounce of trust I had and then accused me of the things that he did. 

To this day, I have trust issues, I don’t do well in commitment, I deal horribly with every form of rejection and I always assume people are going to leave. I think he is the reason why I don’t commit to one person anymore. I think he’s the reason I turn psycho when people neglect to tell me they have a date. He’s the reason I don’t trust easily. He’s the reason I distance myself from people the second they do anything that could possibly hurt me. I don’t just go jealous, I go jealous, then psycho then indifferent. If you find me indifferent towards you, it means I’ve created a wall and good luck to you with the wall cause I shan’t be taking it down. 

Anyway, sorry for the messy and emotional post. I just had to vent, because my partner caused me to relive all of this. As I already do every year from half October until December. 

[mettaminerals]

Life Healing Energy With Crystals

For quite a long time, many individuals Healing Crystals in adornments for the shear excellence of them. Gem Healing is considered by numerous a pseudo logical elective medication strategy that utilizes stones and crystals for healing yet is an antiquated practice that traces all the way back to something like 6,000 years. The Romans utilized crystals as charms to advance great wellbeing and accommodate insurance in fight. Roman and Greek specialists blended crystals in with plant removes, warmed them, and utilized restoratively. Antiquated Egyptians accepted these stones had the ability to reestablish wellbeing, and would likewise cover their dead with a quartz gem, which they accepted would direct their adored one securely to existence in the wake of death. Chinese utilized them to advance healing, edification, and fascination of wants.

Today, healers, Shamans, and clerics use crystals for their particular healing properties. I generally had an interest with stones and crystals yet that was the extent that it at any point went, until I was acquainted with crystals and their healing capacity at a Mind, Body, and Spirit Festival. Since crystals vibrate with the energy of the earth, they can assist you with adjusting your body to the Earth's energy. With these crystals, presently you as well, may vibrate at the most noteworthy energy - Earth Energy! This is the place where the healing starts. Utilizing crystals, and tuning yourself into their energy, you are then clearing blockages inside you which will upgrade your own normal healing forces. Most don't understand, yet our bodies were intended to act naturally adjusting and normally mend themselves. In any case, as life occurs, we here and there neglect to pause and deal with ourselves so frequently, that our bodies escape sync with that healing interaction, eventually making blockages in our physical and mental bodies.

Any blockages inside your life power is the thing that causes throbs, torments, and even illness to show in the actual body. It's therefore, I presently use crystals consistently for strength in a specific region in my life, for healing that is required that day, for individual reflection and clearness, or for use in my Reiki practice to incite love and light while cleaning and clearing Chakras. Reiki, as only one elective healing methodology, in it's most straightforward interpretation is Universal Life Force. It is the act of diverting the general life energy in a specific example to mend and fit the psychological and actual body and every one of our Chakras, which gets, absorbs, and communicates physical, passionate, and profound energy coursing through our bodies. There is a clearing method I use, just as an alternate explicit precious stone for each Chakra to clear any blockages around there. This makes room for life power energy to stream to you and through you to keep the psyche, body, and soul in it's heavenly condition of amazing wellbeing. In the event that we keep our brain, body, and soul vibrating on a high recurrence of affection and healing energy, we don't permit throbs, agonies, and infection to show and get comfortable the actual body.

 This is only a short outline on Chakra healing with crystals. Every precious stone has its own novel healing property and a particular Chakra it reverberates with because of its tone. Our first Chakra, being the Root Chakra, manages establishing, and basically vibrates with and can be mended utilizing Red, Brown, or Black Crystals like Red Garnet, Hematite and Black Tourmaline. Our second Chakra, the Sacral Chakra, managing the mid-region and joy focuses, can mostly be fit with Orange Crystals, such Carnelian, Amber, and Orange Calcite. The Third Chakra, being the Solar Plexus Chakra, managing the Digestive System and individual force, reverberate with and can be mended with Yellow Crystals like Yellow Citrine, and Sunstone. The Fourth Chakra, the Heart Chakra, manages the Heart, Lungs, and Love. The Heart Chakra vibrates in a healing way with all Green or Pink crystals like Rose Quartz, Jade, or Green Aventurine. The fifth Chakra, the Throat Chakra, manages conveying, and reverberates with Blue Crystals like Blue Agate, Sodalite, or Sapphire. The 6th Chakra, the Third Eye Chakra, managing instinct and knowing, vibrates on a healing level with Violet Crystals like Amethyst, Lolite, and Flourite. The seventh Chakra, the Crown Chakra, managing the Central Nervous System and the Divine, resounds best with White or Purple Crystals like Selenite, Clear Quartz, or Amethyst.

I've actually been utilizing Crystals for my own healing for a lot, yet since starting the utilization of crystals for healing, I've had a couple of remarkable examples of overcoming adversity, some of which are important to me. The primary example of overcoming adversity is my better half who had rotator sleeve medical procedure. This, based on what I'm told by many individuals, is the most over the top agonizing a medical procedure you can have. This is most certainly an issue with a long healing time as he's just acquired around 3/4 of his movement back around there without torment so far over the most recent 5 months. At first, I would Reiki him while we were sitting and unwinding and the finish of every day. Then, at that point I brought a Carnelian ball into the image and what he disclosed to me while utilizing the healing ball was quite astonishing. The Carnelian ball brought him stunning warmth, practically like a hot stone wherever it contacted him assisting with unwinding and recuperate the muscles that had been cut off and controlled during a medical procedure, alleviating the aggravation actually like a hot stone back rub.

 The second example of overcoming adversity is likewise precious to me as it has to do with my sister. My sister Deneen has Lupus, which is basically a provocative sickness where your body's resistant framework assaults its own tissue and organs. From what I hear and own her going, it is an extremely excruciating sickness and specialists simply toss various meds at it as an experimentation thing until they discover a medication that works. All things considered, she's as yet in a phase of her infection of not knowing what medicine works in aiding the aggravation which she bears each day. I've done Reiki healing on her various occasions in the past which has facilitated the aggravation barely enough to bring some relief, yet it wasn't until I begun Crystal Healing Therapy, that she's had supported help from the aggravation. I utilized different various Crystals to Cleanse and Clear her Chakra's, yet I additionally requested that she wear a Reiki Charged Hematite wristband for a couple of hours daily. It's been half a month and she's accounted for not having had a truly downright terrible day since.

My third example of overcoming adversity in only a couple of brief weeks has to do with somebody that has degenerative plate sickness which is torment in the lower back or neck because of a compromised circle in the spine. While there is a marginally hereditary reason to this infection, it's fundamentally brought about by normal mileage or some kind of injury to the body. With this kind of illness, there is ordinarily a steady, generally a slight benchmark torment. It likewise includes gentle to serious scenes of back or neck torment that by and large could endure anyplace from a couple of days to a couple of months and can be weakening during that time, prior to getting the individual once again to what they think about their standard in the aggravation division. Rachael had been languishing over numerous years with degenerative circle sickness when she came to me. I assisted her with the healing energy of Reiki and a Carnelian ball, which I used to treat lower back issues. After those two things, I utilized Hematite on her which, for her purposes, resembled the Belle of the Ball. When the Hematite stones connected with the skin on her lower back, she announced a dissolving of the aggravation very quickly and remained however long the Hematite remained on her back. I then, at that point educated her to proceed with this training all alone while she was not with me and to purge the Hematite with a Selenite stone so the entirety of the cynicism and poisons the Hematite assimilated from her, would be cleared prior to returning them to her lower back once more.

So regardless of the reported healing gem utilization of a considerable lot of our progenitors, some actually ruin the utilization of these stones alongside different types of elective medication. There are very few examinations to demonstrate or even refute the force of elective types of medications, for example, gem healing, needle therapy, Reiki, or even yoga as healing for the psyche, body and soul. This doesn't imply that these healing practices aren't viable. It simply implies that cash isn't being spent on what some consider to be "New Age" healing; that equivalent healing therapy that is really healing ancient. Likewise, regardless of the absence of exploration for these kinds of healing techniques, still around 33% of Americans utilize these or different types of elective medication. It is not necessarily the case that Crystal Healing Therapy is a fix all. You should in any case look for the assistance and clinical consideration from your PCPs, yet as you can see from these three totally different issues and infections from the above cases, Crystal Healing Stones really serve to enhance all endeavors of healing; regardless of whether you have enthusiastic injuries, explicit actual ailment, or basically need to build your energy levels, you can utilize crystals to vibrate with similar frequencies of earths energy and once again initiate your body's own personal healing capacities!

https://www.mettaminerals.com/

[obeymestudentcouncil]

I’m Coming Home- GN!Reader

This is a spin off of one of my headcanons I posted here a while back about the idea that MC’s soul is the only part of them that was pulled into the Devildom for the program.  Their body remained in the human realm in a coma-like state, waiting for them to come back.  The program ends and they go back to normal life.  But is that what they want? Obv. TW: coma mention

You said your goodbyes, the bright light of the spell surrounding you; sending you home.  The faces of the demons you’d spent the last year with, your friends, your lover, they all faded from view.  You closed your eyes against the heartache, burning their faces into you memory.  Hoping it wouldn’t be the last time you’d see any of them.

When you opened your eyes, it was to an unfamiliar ceiling, bare neutral walls and soft afternoon light leaking through closed blinds.  Harsh beeping made you turn your head in confusion, finally realizing you were in a hospital.  The door was open, excited sounds outside in the hall.  The voice of your mother, calling for a nurse.  The nurse bustling into the room, silencing the machine.

A coma, they said.  You found collapsed in your apartment floor by your roommate a year ago.  The doctors couldn’t figure out what had happened.  You just…weren’t there.  You knew, but you knew telling them wouldn’t be wise.  So you didn’t.  Kept the secret of what the past year had been like for you locked away in your heart.  Your family was devout;  telling them you’d been in hell with Satan and Lucifer while humorous in your mind wouldn’t have gone well with them.

A few weeks in the hospital, regaining strength.  Physical therapy, close monitoring of everything, to watch for a relapse.  Therapists, clergy, all wanting to know what you’d experienced.  Still you kept your silence, making up wavering, uncertain dream states.  

Your parents insisted that you stay with them, all your belongings had been brought home when you went into the hospital, your roommate had someone else to help them with the rent now.  That’s when it started hitting you.  By now you’d expected to see someone.  You would almost be convinced that it was just a dream.  Except that when you finally had time in private, back in your childhood bedroom, you stood in front of your mirror and saw the proof.  Your pact marks, though faint, were there.  All seven, marking your skin in the places they had been since each brother had given them to you.  You tried making sure the skin was visible during the day, your family knew you had no tattoos, they certainly didn’t approve of them.  No reaction meant that you knew you were the only one who could see them.  Late one night, you tried, using anything you could remember about how to use them.  Called out to each of them in turn, but you were met with silence.  

Life returned to “normal”;  you found a new job, determined to get out of your parent’s stifling, overprotective reach as soon as you could.  Most of your friends had moved on, several married now, even a few with little ones on the way.  You made new friends and the loneliness eased.

As the months went on, you were finally content enough with your life.  Your missed them all still, missed the sense of belonging you’d found there.  You signed up for a family lineage site, poring over entries late into the night, curious if you could find her.  As much for your peace of mind as anything.  It was a fun hobby, but proved fruitless.

It was worst when you’d feel like one of them was there.  A glimpse of sandy blonde hair in a clothing store, the hint of Asmo’s tittering laughter.  You’d look again and nothing.  Browsing the stacks of the library and see a blue jacket worn ridiculously on one arm.  Turn the corner after them and it was just a little old lady, not even wearing blue.  Your heart almost stopped when you passed a game store in the mall, a loud drawn out scream over some figure making you double take.  You knew before turning around, there wasn’t anyone there.  Days like that were the ones to leave you full of heartache.  

After a rough day at work, the walk through park on your way home usually helped you unwind.  This time, it was the twins.  You’d swear that was Beel’s mop or red hair, Belphie’s dark head against his shoulder as he dozed.  It was out of the corner of your eye, and it looked like Beel waved at you but by the time you turned, the bench was empty.  You dragged yourself home, begged off dinner and dropped face first into your bed.  The glimpses were getting more frequent, every few days you had another burst of hope only for it to shatter a heartbeat later.

You grabbed your pillow to bury your face in, hide the sobs you felt in your throat.  Underneath it your hand hit something that you were sure hadn’t been there that morning.  Wide-eyed you pulled your D.D.D. out from under the pillow.  You glanced at the door, hopping up and clicking the lock before sitting on the bed.  Hands shaking, you unlocked the device.  You immediately saw the notifications for several messages.  You read each in turn, tears coming to your eyes as several of them were from the days you knew you’d seen or heard them.  They’d all been watching you, but not allowed to let you know.  It wasn’t much, but it made your heart soar to know you hadn’t imagined it.

The last messages were different.  One was from him.  The one that leaving hurt the most.  Promising that as soon as possible, he would stop the hiding, stop the games.  The final message, just sent that afternoon, was from the Prince.  Detailing why the silence, why the lack of communication for the past months.  He wanted to give you time to readjust to your life in your world.  They’d all petitioned him for you to stay, even he didn’t want to see you go.  But they all saw reported back to him, what they’d seen, what they’d heard.  Even when you hadn’t noticed them.

Your eyes filled with tears.  The last sentences were an offer to come home, come back to them, permanently.  But, if you did, you likely wouldn’t be able to return to the human world.  That was the reason for the adjustment period.  But they knew you weren’t happy.  Not the way you’d been before.  They’d seen it.  You had a choice to make.  One message back, and a portal would be ready for you to return.  

You sat and stared at your device, mind reeling.  The thought of leaving your family behind, for good, it didn’t sit well with you.  But then again, you had another family too; and the hole in your heart that leaving them a world away had left was slowly eating you alive.  Fingers steady, you made your answer, sent it, and waited.  The response didn’t take long, two simple words.

Very Well.

[nothingeverlost]

Fic: Thunderstorms and Pancakes (Baby Steps Verse)

We had a pretty big storm last week that gave me this plot bunny.  Takes place about a week after Bae comes home to visit.

II

“I should be going.”  He’d been to dinner every night since Bae had come home, at Belle’s insistence.  Since it was Saturday he’d been at the house since lunch, sharing a picnic in the back yard with his son and Emma, Belle and Ruby.  Trevelyn worried that it was too much, but when he’d tried to beg off dinner the night before Belle had reminded him that Emma was only around for another day, and Bae would have to go to New York in a week.  

“It’s still raining pretty hard, are you sure that’s a good idea?”  Belle never mentioned his cane or the limp that was evident, and he never offered any information.  He could see her glance at his leg, though, before frowning at the window.  It had been raining for more than an hour, the summer shower a surprise.

“I’m sure it will let up soon.”  At that moment the windows lit up and a roll of thunder made the house shake.

“I don’t think so, dad.  Remember what happened when I was ten and old man Hubbard drove in a storm like this?  He was lucky to get out of the car before it ended up in the river.”

“Fortunately I don’t pass any rivers on the way home.”  After another flash of lightning the lights flickered.  The rain, rather than receding, seemed to pound harder against the glass.

“I think you should stay in the guest room tonight, Trev.  We’ll all sleep better knowing that you’re not out in this.”  Belle collected the dessert dishes.  Ruby was already sleeping, the baby monitor on the table where Belle could watch her.  Bae and Emma nodded in agreement.

“I don’t want to be an imposition.”  Bae mentioned Hubbard, but Trev remembered another night drive fifteen years ago that had ended in weeks of hospitalization, months of therapy and surgeries, and a cane he still hated with a passion.  He hated how much his knee ached in the rain too.  Staying inside had more than one advantage, but he didn’t want to make Belle do any more work.  It would be strange to sleep in his house again as well.

“You couldn’t be more of an imposition than Bae, and she puts up with him.”  Emma leaned over, hitting Bae’s shoulder with her own.  Their chairs were only inches apart; they liked to touch.  Bae rolled his eyes but leaned into the touch as well.

“I insist.”  Belle briefly squeezed Trev’s shoulder as she returned to the table.  “I think you might still have some things in the back of the closet.  If not Bae probably has something you can borrow to sleep in.”

He did end up needing to borrow a pair of sweatpants, though Belle found him a long forgotten t-shirt that had clearly been a present from Bae.  It declared him to be the ‘world’s okayest dad.’  Trev shook his head when he saw it, but Belle had been amused.  

“Are you certain you wouldn’t prefer the master bedroom?  The bed is bigger.”  Belle made the same offer she’d made already.  

“The guess room is fine.”  A full sized bed was plenty for him.  He tried not to think about any reasons why he might need a larger bed.  None of his thoughts involved being alone, so they were best not considered at all.  Especially when the only person he’d fantasized about recently was standing in front of him.  The fact that the master room had been a space he’d shared with Milah for so long didn’t even occur to him.  “Besides Ruby would be confused if she came looking for you.”

“Ruby would be delighted if she found her ‘Good’ when she came looking for me.  She’s going to be so excited tomorrow when she realizes you’re here for breakfast.”

Gold nodded, holding the t-shirt to his chest.  He couldn’t shake the image of lying in bed with Belle, an arm draped casually over her waist.  Not doing anything, just lying with her and sharing space when Ruby came in for breakfast.  It was a daydream that left him rattled; he never had moments like that in Bae’s childhood.  It wasn’t his brain replicating a memory, but a completely separate dream.  “I should go to bed.”

“Sweet dreams, Trev.  You know where almost everything is, but if you have any questions you know where to find me.”

Unfortunately he knew all too well where to find her, not that he would breach the doorway that had been his own for so many years.  “Thank you.”

“Hey dad, these should work.  They have a drawstring, which I thought might help since you’re skinny.”  Bae came out of his bedroom with the promised sweatpants.  Behind him Emma leaned in the doorway of the bedroom that had been Bae’s since he was three weeks old and Milah had declared she couldn’t sleep with a baby in the master bedroom.  While he knew that Bae and Emma were sharing a room it was still a little startling to see it with his own eyes.  It didn’t bother him, but it was another reminder that his son was grown up.  He was so proud of his boy, but some part of him would always miss the child he had been.

“Your dad has a little restraint around desserts, unlike some people I know,” Emma teased.

“Hey, I inherited my love of cake from him.  He had a piece too.  But I bet he’s still in the habit of skipping meals.  Tea does not count as breakfast.”  Behind Gold he heard a snort, and turned to find Belle covering her mouth.  She shrugged, but he could tell she was amused to find that she wasn’t the only one to scold him for having tea alone in the morning.

“Yeah, like no one saw you sneak that second piece in the kitchen.”  Emma rolled her eyes before vanishing into the bedroom.  Gold was pretty certain he heard Bae mutter something about working off the calories.  He didn’t want to ask for clarification.  Fortunately the guest bedroom didn’t share a room with his son’s bedroom.

“I’ll just take this and-” he gestured at the door to the room that was just past Belle’s own.

“Sleep well, Trev.”  Belle’s smile seemed to ensure he’d have either sweet dreams or troubled sleep.

“Goodnight Belle.”  He was used to speaking to her over the phone and wishing her a good night, or speaking to her from the end of the hall at the bed and breakfast.  Somehow the hallway of his home - her home now - seemed more intimate.

“Goodnight!” A duel shout came from behind the closed door of Bae’s room as he headed for the guest room door.

II

He couldn’t sleep. Perhaps it was being back in the house that held so many memories, or perhaps it was knowing that only a wall separated him from the bedroom where Belle was sleeping.  Either way he spent an hour staring wide eyed at the ceiling before giving up and getting out of bed.  If he remembered correctly there was still a bottle of whiskey in the library.  Unless Belle had a taste for it, which he doubted, it should still be there.  A wee dram might help him fall asleep.  Carefully he walked down the hall, avoiding the squeaky floorboard near Bae’s room.  Since he didn’t carry his cane he had to use the handrail on the stairs.  To his surprise there was a light on in the library.

“Belle?”  She sat at the desk, the only light coming from the lamp in the upper corner of the desk and the glow of the laptop monitor.  The clock on the wall told him it was a little after midnight.

“End of the month reports have to be finished tomorrow.  I’m almost done.”  She leaned back in the chair, taking off a pair of glasses he rarely saw her wearing.  “Employees need paychecks and the quarterly taxes are due.”

“You don’t have a payroll person for that?”

“Granny always did it herself.  I remember sitting next to her at the kitchen table, working on homework while she was working on it.  There were always cookies.  I guess it makes me feel closer to her.”  Belle stretched, leaning back farther in the chail.  The bottom of her pajama top rose just enough to see a narrow strip of skin.  “I should probably look into a service, but I only think of it at midnight when I’m struggling to get it done.”

“I can ask my bookkeeper if she can take on someone new.  I believe she does payroll.”  Belle had enough to do, managing two businesses and raising a two year old.  She didn’t need to stay up late with paperwork.  He would make sure Ariel could take her, even if he had to pay to make it happen.

“You don’t need to-” Belle stopped mid sentence, shaking her head.  “No, that’s silly.  I know I need help and as usual you have just the answer I need.  Thank you, Trev.  I would appreciate the recommendation.”

“I’ll make a call tomorrow.”

“Thank you.  Now what can I do for you?  You didn’t come down here to talk about payroll and taxes.”

“I was planning on having a drink, actually.”  The scotch was exactly there he left it.  A few years additional aging would only improve the flavor.

“May I join you?”

“Really?”  He’d seen her drink wine, and could imagine her with a daiquiri in hand.

“Sure.  I’m almost done with my work and it would help me unwind.  I even have my own glass.”  Grinning she picked up a plastic tumbler with a cartoon on it, one of Ruby’s.  “If you don’t mind sharing, of course.”

“I don’t mind.”  She sat at his desk in his library, though he’d cleared enough bookshelves off to allow her some space for her collection.  The bed she slept in was his.  There was a great deal they shared already, a drink hardly seemed like anything in comparison.  Yet as he placed the glass he’d brought from the kitchen next to the plastic cup and added the liquor to each it felt strangely intimate.  Perhaps it was the late hour.

“Should we toast something?”  Belle took hold of her glass, but a moment later almost dropped it when a lightning strike lit up the room.

“Belle?”

“I don’t like lightning very much.”  She took a sip of her drink, making a face that told him she didn’t appreciate the taste.  It didn’t stop her from taking a second sip.

“My father told a story when I was a lad about a selkie looking for his lost love in a thunderstorm.  She was human and they had fallen in love when he had rescued her from a shipwreck, but her people had come for her and taken her back to their land.  Whenever lightning fills the sky you know he’s still looking for her.”  His father hadn’t been worth much, but he had been able to spin a story.  As a child it had entertained him.  As he’d gotten older ‘story’ had just been another word for a lie.

“My mother told me that angels were bowling.  It didn’t scare me when I was a kid.” He couldn’t see into the plastic cup but guessed it was mostly gone after she took another sip.  When he held up the bottle she nodded and he refilled her glass.  She started into the depths of the glass as if it was something more than plastic with unicorns on it.  Knowing what it was like to get lost in thoughts he didn’t say anything.  It was a few minutes before she spoke.  “There was a thunderstorm the night my mother died.  She would always come into my room when there was a storm to check on me and ask me who was winning the bowling game.  I waited but…”

“I’m sorry, Belle.”  Her voice wavered and she didn’t seem able to continue.  He remembered her mentioning moving to America after her mother’s death.  She’d been too young to lose a mother, as well as a father not long after.  

“Ruby doesn’t mind a storm, and I don’t want her to think they’re scary.  I suppose I should have a story for her.”  Belle looked over her shoulder, as if waiting to catch the next clap of thunder.

“You could tell her about the angels bowling.”  He could almost picture her as a girl of Ruby’s age, asking for a story.  She probably wasn’t quite as demanding as Ruby could be, but just as hard to deny.

“I think I like your story better.  Maybe you could tell me the whole thing sometime?”  Perhaps it was the fact that the thunder hadn’t rumbled again, or the fact that she was almost done with her second pour of whiskey, but she seemed more relaxed.  

“If you like.”  For a moment he could almost hear an echo of his father’s voice.  And his own, as he tucked in a little boy that was now a grown man.

“Not tonight, though.  I think I need to go to sleep.”  She drained the last of her glass and closed up her laptop.  “You know how early Ruby likes to get up.”

“I’ll walk with you.”  She wasn’t wearing those ridiculous high heels she wore often when she was out, but he still worried about her balance, especially since she’d fallen only a few days earlier.  Not that his balance was much better, and he hadn’t even finished his drink.

“I’m glad you stayed tonight, Trev.  I would have worried about you driving in this.”  They made it up the stairs, though there were one or two false starts.  His leg was unsteady without his cane and Belle’s focus was less than perfect.

“I wouldn’t want to make you worry.”  He understood her worry even better now then he had a few hours ago.  “Sleep well, Belle.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bae said something about pancakes.”  Belle smiled sleepy at him as she stood in the doorway of the bedroom.  The walls that had been white when it was his room were a pale blue now.  It was a color that suited her.

“Unless he learned something in Italy I assume that means he’s volunteered me for breakfast duty.”  Saturday morning breakfasts had been a tradition of theirs for most of Bae’s childhood.  Milah had liked to sleep in, so it had usually been the two of them.  It would be nice to cook for his boy again.  And to cook breakfast for Belle for the first time.

“We’ll make him wash the dishes,” Belle said with a grin and a wink before she closed the door behind her.  Gold walked on to his room, closing the door behind him.  He was no less awake then he had been, but his mind felt more focused.  He took out the notepad he always carried with him and a pen, and started to write the story of a selkie in love.  It wasn’t the type of story he usually wrote, but it was a familiar tale and flowed quickly.  Perhaps he’d talk to Bae about doing up a few illustrations.  It would make a nice gift for Belle. And Ruby, of course.

II

The sound of howling woke him.  Looking at his clock he realized that it was a little before eight.  It took him a moment later to realize that the noise was a little girl declaring that she was awake.  Since he didn’t hear any other noises he hurried from his bed to the room across the hall.  Perhaps he would be able to let Belle sleep a little longer, she could do with a lie in.

“I’m looking for a little girl to help me make some pancakes, but all I hear is a wolf.”  He stood in the doorway to Ruby’s room, where she stood up on her bed.  It was a tiny thing no full sized person could possibly lay down on.  Gold knew that the mattress had been part of Ruby’s bed before the move.

“Good, my good, my good.”  Ruby’s cries of delight were slightly quieter than her howls, but not by much.  Gold looked across the hall at Belle’s still closed door.

“You’ll have to be quiet if you want to make pancakes,” he cautioned.

“Ruby be quiet.  Shhh shhh shh.”  She held one chubby finger up to her mouth to demonstrate.  Gold couldn’t help but smile.  

“That’s what I like to see in a sous chef.”  He held out a hand and she was quick to respond, jumping off her bed with a level of disregard of safety that would worry him if her bed was more than a foot from the floor.  In moments her small hand was in his.  Her other hand touched his sweatpants.

“Good go night night?” she asked.

“Yes, I slept here.”  He was glad she didn’t ask any more questions as they walked down the hall past Belle and Bae’s rooms.  When they got downstairs she was quickly distracted by cracking eggs and mixing with spoons, and didn’t ask any questions about why he’d spent the night.

“So Bae wasn’t lying about the pancakes.”  Emma was the first person to come downstairs, heading straight for the coffee pot.  It seemed that she liked her morning caffeine as much as Belle and his son.  Ruby hadn’t been patient enough for him to make his usual tea.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this.  Hopefully they’re edible,” he said with a shrug.  He hadn’t spent more than a few minutes alone with Emma.  She seemed nice enough, and certainly being around her made Bae happy, but it always took him time to get used to people.  To call his social circle limited would be generous.

“I remember the first time my dad tried making pancakes for me.  They were black on one side and raw in the middle but I ate them.”  Emma took a mug from the cabinet and poured herself a cup of coffee, adding some of the flavored creamer Belle always had in the fridge.

“Was your mom usually the one that made the pancakes?” He asked, only half paying attention.  Ruby was sitting on the edge of the counter and half of his focus was on making sure she didn’t decide at any moment to try jumping.

“Nah, she’s a teacher so mornings were not a leisure time for her.  She’d already left for work that day, I think.  I’d only been with them for a couple of weeks and David was kind of going overboard on trying to fit in as many ‘normal’ kid things as he could.  He still can’t make a decent pancake but he was a great softball coach.”  Emma settled at one of the stools on the side of the counter, both hands wrapped around her mug.

“You’re adopted.”  For a moment all of his focus was on her, and he could see a look in her eyes that he recognized from his own years in foster care.  He hadn’t seen it before.  

“My mom likes to say that we were always a family, it just took us time to find each other.  She’s big on fairy tales.  Sometimes I think she forgets that I lived anywhere before them.”  Emma took a sip of her coffee.  “I hope you don’t mind, but Bae mentioned that you were in the system too.”

“Yeah.”  He didn’t remember his mother.  Malcolm had been interested in him as long as he was young and cute and a good distraction while he worked his cons, but once he’d gotten too older he’d become less useful and asked too many questions.  He’d spent most of his time in group homes until Penny and Flo had taken him in just before his sixteenth birthday.  They had taken their role as foster parents very seriously; the home he now rented to Belle had been theirs, left to him in their will.

“Belle reminds me of my mom a little.  Ruby’s a lucky kid.”

“She is.”  He remembered how nervous Belle had been in the beginning.  She had worried about Ruby’s happiness and what was best for the baby, but had never said a word about her own plans changing so completely.  

“Ruby lucky,” the little girl agreed, waving around a spoon and flinging pancake batter everywhere.  “Ruby want pancake.”

“Soon,”  Gold promised, glad of the distraction.  “We have to cook them first.”

“Ruby want m’Belle.”

“Belle is sleeping.”  He knew how rare it was for Belle to be able to sleep in.

“Bae’s sleeping too, but he doesn’t need to be.  How about we go get him up, Rubes?  Want to help me?”  Emma downed the rest of her coffee and reached for the girl who eagerly jumped at her.  Emma settled her on her hip.  “Figured this breakfast thing might go smoother without the pancake batter flying everywhere and Bae will sleep ‘til noon if we leave him alone.”

“Thank you.”  He would be less worried about the griddle without Ruby being so close, and he might even be able to make himself that cup of tea.  For a moment when she turned to walk away Gold’s heart skipped a beat.  Someday, whether it was with Emma or someone else, Bae would have a child of his own.  A family that, he hoped, would visit him.  He hadn’t thought much of grandchildren before.  For so long his family had simply been himself and Bae.  It seemed to be growing.

“Do I smell pancakes?”  He expected Bae and Emma to come into the kitchen, but a few minutes later it was Belle that appeared, wrapped in a robe but wearing the same sea green pajamas underneath that she had worn the night before.  “And coffee too?  Bless you.”

“Emma made the coffee.”  He looked down at his pancakes more intently then necessary, checking to see if they needed to be turned.  He’d lived down the hall from her for almost a year and a half and had seen her early in the morning and late at night.  Somehow, though, seeing her barefoot in the kitchen with her hair clearly tousled from sleep felt almost too intimate.  It was too easy to think about the fact that she had been in a warm bed only minutes ago.  His bed, though he hadn’t slept in it for years.  “Everyone else should be down soon and we can eat.”

“Have I mentioned yet how glad I am you stayed?”  She padded through the kitchen towards the coffee maker, her bare feet not making a sound.  After she poured herself a mug she came to stand next to him, close enough to touch if he leaned to the side just a little.  He didn’t.  

“I…”

“Anyone looking for a tickle monster?  Because I caught one.”  Bae came into the kitchen with a laugh, holding an upside down Ruby insisting that she wasn’t a monster.  Emma followed immediately behind declaring that Bae had earned whatever he’d gotten and that a tickling from a two year old was way better than a pitcher of ice water. The sudden chaos only settled down when everyone sat at the table and whatever he had been about the say to Belle was long forgotten.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #328

okay i’m going the fuck to bed now. @_@

Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No; the only time I ever will will possibly be my wedding, if even then. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I'm capable, but I don't believe it will happen. Who’s the last person you video-chatted with? My therapy group via Zoom. Do ski lifts make you nervous or do you like them? Never been in one, but they seem cool. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. Nice combo. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Please explain to me how ANY tattoo inherently equates to being "trashy." I actually love sleeve tats. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? No. I experienced a few crushes my freshman year of high school, but they weren't just anybody. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I may or may not get a tattoo of Darkiplier doing his i c o n i c debut smile somewhere, but idk. I already have one tattoo related to Mark and would kill for another with his handwriting, so having three would be a bit... wild, haha. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? Usually. Can you remember what you last clapped for? Yes; everyone in group clapped for one of the women taking a big step against her agoraphobia. Is your hair damaged? No, it's actually super healthy. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? The litterbox and my room in general. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? No. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Chicago was a big shock to me. I am FAR from used to cities that incredible and stocked. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I don't groom them, so they're on the thicker end. Do you always wear a bra? Not at home and if there's no company. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Yeah, a few times. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Who says I'm marrying a man? But whatever, no. Keep that behind closed doors. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? No more than two. I usually don't even have two. Have you ever had sex outside? No. Have you ever been outside naked? No. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. You ever like someone who liked you back, but didn’t want a relationship?: That's pretty much where I'm at now. Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same? No. Are you financially stable? No. Mom can barely afford rent right now; I had to pay it last month with gifted money. Are you emotionally stable? hunny Do you think kids these days are growing up too quickly? I kinda think so, yeah. It's funny how different kids are now compared to when I was whatever age they are. I try to be open-minded about it, though; times change, and I don't expect my generation to be the only "right" way to have grown up. I just think kids are chasing the power of "maturity" with much more vigor. Are you a rebel? Not really. Do you like when people use proper grammar on the Internet? Yeah. I like conversing with people who type just how they talk, like me. Have you ever driven or been a passenger on a motorcycle? Neither. I don't want to ride one. Do you use standard time, or 24 hour time? Standard time. Do you enjoy NASCAR? "HE'S MAKIN ANOTHER LEFT TURRRRRRN!" Lol no, I really don't. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met? Probably Sara, honestly. What amazing adventures have you been on? What's this "adventure" you speak of? What would you do if had enough money to not need a job? Lots of traveling with my camera, still selling art anyway. What TV series do you keep coming back to and re-watching? None. What would your perfect vacation look like? Y'know, one of those glass dome ceiling cabin... things in the mountains with Sara would be so, SO cool. So much nature for us to explore. What are some obscure things that you are or were really into? Most of my interests honestly, haha. The strangest is probably "vulture culture," in which the remains (typically the bones) of a naturally deceased wild animal are basically recycled for some sort of artistic purpose. You could consider my roadkill photography an example. What are some things everyone should try at least once? I dunno, man. Depends on what you're into. What would your perfect morning be like? Cuddles with an s/o watching some funny videos or something like that to get in some morning laughter. What are you always game for? Video games, haha. What do you do to unwind? Watch YouTube. What’s your favorite piece of furniture you’ve ever owned? I don't have a fave. What would be the best city to live in? I don't want to live in a city. What would you like to know more about, but haven’t had the time to look into it? Time isn't an issue; I just haven't. There's lots of stuff. I'm a very curious person. How have you changed from when you were in high school? I'm less depressed, but more confused, scared, and much less motivated. Imagine a chicken wandering around with its head chopped off. Where is the most fun place around where you live? Nothing, really... Where would your friends or family be most surprised to find you? Like, a strip club or something. What’s expensive but totally worth it? This depends on what's important to you. For me, a quality DSLR camera. When do you feel most out of place? Whenever I'm some place fancy. What’s the most recent thing you’ve done for the first time? No idea. What small seemingly insignificant decision had a massive impact on your life? Accepting Jason's friend request on Facebook because I thought it was a different Jason I actually knew. What did you do last summer? Nothing, just stayed indoors trying not to melt into a sizzling puddle. What are you most grateful for? My mom. What’s the most essential part of a friendship? Trust, maybe. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Many, many years ago when I used to walk outside for hours with my iPod. All modesty aside, what are you better at than 90% of people? It doesn’t have to be useful or serious, it can be something ridiculous. 90% is a lot, man. Maybe bonding with animals? What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had? I don’t know. What do you like but are kind of embarrassed to admit? If I'm embarrassed by it, I have no interest in sharing it. What skill or ability have you always wanted to learn? Even just a smidge of social skills. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had? Probably the spicy shrimp fritas at Olive Garden. I adore those sooooooooo so much. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid? The zoo. We didn't go often at all, but I would frequently nag Mom about going. What’s something that most people haven’t done, but you have? Fed a freshly severed rat to a vulture. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I wanna go back to that bird rescue... What says the most about a person? How they treat others. What machine or appliance in your house aggravates you the most? The dryer. It can take a few rounds to fully dry something. What places have you visited that exceeded your expectations? Chicago, that I actually remember. Disney World probably did, but I was just a little kid and only have faint memories of the trip. What’s the worst advice someone has given you? I don't know. Besides your home and your work, where do you spend most of your time? People leave their houses? What are your top 3 favorite things to talk about? Mark, meerkats, and video games. When you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being a grown up? No one could tell me no for "stupid" reasons. What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? Strange way? I haven't got a clue. What’s your favorite band NAME (not necessarily your favorite band)? Maybe Cradle of Filth. Badass metal name. There are a lot of good ones, though. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors? Take pictures of flowers or animals. How often do you dance? Silly/ironic dancing counts. Essentially never. Who besides your parents taught you the most about life? Jason, I guess. What’s been the most significant plot twist in your own life? The breakup that I thought was physically impossible, entirely unfathomable. Where did you take family vacations to when you were younger? We didn't really go on vacations. If you could instantly receive a Ph.D. in any discipline including all the knowledge and experience that goes along with it, what would your Ph.D. be in? Biology. What are the top three social situations you try to avoid most? Anywhere where I have to speak publicly; parties/get-togethers involving people I don't know; anywhere that is extremely crowded. Just social situations in general, really... What friendship you’ve had has impacted you the most? My friendship with Sara. What’s something you’re interested in that most people wouldn’t expect? Uhhh I don't know, really. What’s the hardest you’ve worked for something? My recovery from the breakup. What took you way too long to figure out? The only person who had any right to control my happiness and will to live was myself. What nicknames have you had throughout your life? If you include online ones as well, there's Britt, Britt-Britt, Twinkie, Bee, Flower, Ruby, Mozart2, Ozz(y), Alessa, and uhhh... I wanna say that's it? What do you do differently than most people? I deconstruct my breakfast biscuits to eat one part at a time... haha. Where’s the last place you’d ever go? Prison. What fact floored you when you heard it? That my dad did some hard drugs before us kids were born. I was entirely speechless. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. It smells awful. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? Air dry. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like the idea of catching wild animals just to pick up and check out. That poor critter is terrified. I'd rather just take pictures of it and let it go about its day. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? I want my next tattoo to be a big'n. How many pills do you take every morning? I absolutely do not want to count. A whole lot. What was the last parade you went to? /shrug What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? If I was hypothetically having kids, let's see. A son, absolutely dinosaurs. A daughter, maybe meadowy with baby animals. My baby blanket was full of baby animals, so it'd be kinda cute, that connection. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Not because of gender norms, but by personal choice, pastel pink. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. What is the last thing you missed out on that you wanted to go to? Hm. Who do you wish were your best friend? I am perfectly happy with who already is my best friend. Who do you wish you could go on another date with? She knows. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? I'm not sure, but my high school friend Megan is due to have her daughter Persephone soon! She won the naming game. Like damn, how badass would it feel for your name to be Persephone. Do you have a favorite M&M? Just the classic ones. Is it easy to make you cry? OHHHHH YES IT IS. Have you ever snuck out? Nah. Who was the last person to comment you? On Facebook? My friend Lyndsey commented on a photo I shared. What song reminds you of being in middle school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by A Day To Remember is the anthem for going through puberty in school and trying to figure yourself out. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. What’s something really basic that you’re terrible at? Cooking. Are you pale or tan? I'm very pale. When’s the last time you were kissed? On the lips, like two or so years ago. Do you like the movie Grease? Never seen it, actually. What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? The Mask, probably. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? I think a fawn. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? I meeeaaan... Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? Yes and yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? Well, it's complicated. I don't, but I also want to be a freelance photographer, so I kinda would. I like the idea of having an office in my house purely for productive activities to prevent becoming lazy because I'd be at home. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am one.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 2: Chapter 1

Saint Lucia & NYC: January 2016

Word count: 2.6k

PART 1

SkyFire 2 MASTERLIST

CW/TW consider this a standing warning for this entire series. Aurora has PTSD and severe damage to her left hand after being involved in a mass shooting during Part 1. The ramifications of that come up quite often in the early chapters of Part 2

>Instagram posts 

Aurora spent the first day of the new year in surgery, once again working to piece her left hand back together. She had undergone 3 surgeries in as many months to repair the horrific damage that had been caused to her hand and she’d long since stopped paying attention to the surgeons. Instead she just let her fathers hyper-focus on the details of every procedure, but she was pretty sure she remembered them saying that the focus of this latest operation was to repair the muscles and reattach them to the correct place in her hand which was still mostly made of plates and screws. She very rarely took the brace off but when she did, the vast web of scar tissue stretching across her skin made her stomach roll and pitch. She had been trying not be shallow about it but she couldn’t help but hope that when the surgeons were finished cutting her open over and over again, that a plastic surgeon would be able to do something about the scarring like they were planning to do with skin grafts on her shoulder masking the bullet wound that had ripped through her skin there.

When she awoke in the hospital, Harry was waiting patiently by her side, with Tony and Steve nearby as they always were. Since the band’s final performance before Christmas, Harry had barely left her side, for which Aurora was intensely grateful. Having his comforting presence next to her every night had kept the nightmares at bay and she had actually found herself able to enjoy the holiday season, much to her own surprise. She was able to go home the day after the surgery once the surgeon had once again run through the extensive list of post-op procedures for her to follow.

They had a big family dinner the night after the surgery celebrating Aurora’s 21st birthday a few days early before Harry whisked them away to spend 2 weeks in Saint Lucia, soaking up the sunshine.

xXx

They arrived late in the afternoon and caught a cab from the small airport to the beach side cottage Harry had rented for their stay. They were both tied from travelling and decided to curl up together on the sofa and watch movies instead of heading out to explore.

When she woke the next morning, she was alone in the bed, bright sunshine streaming in through the open windows and the sound of the nearby waves filling the small house. She climbed out of bed, throwing Harry’s discarded shirt over her and padded out towards the kitchen where she could hear soft music playing.

“Morning,” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around his waist as he stood at the stove, flipping pancakes. She kissed across his bare shoulders as she tried to wake up fully.

“Morning, love,” Harry replied, moving the pan off the heat so that he could turn around in her arms and kiss her softly. “How d’you sleep?”

“The best I have in weeks,” she replied with a yawn, letting go of him to head to the fridge and pour them both a glass of orange juice. She sat down at the island bench while Harry finished putting together their breakfast and then they both walked outside to the little table and chairs set up on the patio, looking out over the beach.

“It’s so beautiful here,” Harry said after he swallowed the first bite of his pancake.

“It’s perfect,” Rori agreed. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“Had to make your 21st special,” Harry smiled. “Want to head down to the water after breakfast?”

“Absolutely.”

They chatted aimlessly as they ate, staring out across the waves and soaking up the early morning sunshine. Once they finished eating, they took the dishes to the sink and then Aurora headed into the bathroom to change into her swimsuit. Harry slipped into his yellow shorts and threw on a white t-shirt, then started to rub sunscreen on his arms and legs while he waited for Rori. She came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, her hair up in a messy bun, a light blue one piece covering the scars on her stomach. Without a word, she stepped in front of where he sat on the edge of the bed and he rubbed sunscreen across her shoulders and down her arms. He didn’t say anything when he saw that the brace was still in place on her arm, instead continuing down to cover her legs as well.

“All done,” he said, lightly slapping her arse and causing her to jump and let out a squeak. He stood up, grabbing two towels to leave on the patio and started to head for the door.

“Wait,” Rori called out before he stepped outside. “Before we go out…” She took a deep breath and Harry quickly walked back towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders as she steadied herself. “I can’t go in the water with the brace on,” she finally said. “But before I show you, I just need to warn you that it looks really bad Harry.”

“It’s ok,” Harry promised. “You can show me.”

She took another deep breath before unstrapping the brace and removing it. Harry reached towards her hand, stopping when his fingers were nearly touching her.

“May I?” He asked, looking up and searching her face for any hint of distress.

She nodded quickly. “Just be gentle,” she whispered.

His fingers ghosted over her skin, tracing the spiderweb of scars across the back her hand, up across her wrist and onto her forearm. The newest incision from the surgery she’d gone through earlier in the week was covered by an opaque plastic bandage. He traced the edge of it with the tips of his fingers.

“It’s waterproof,” Rori explained. “Dr Walker said it will be fine in the ocean, but I’ve got a spare one in case I have to swap it over before we leave.”

“Does it hurt when I do this?” Harry asked, tearing his eyes away from her hand to look back at her face.

“No.” She smiled softly back at him. “It feels amazing to not be hiding anything from you anymore.”

“I love you,” he replied, kissing her deeply. “Now there’s a beach out there with our name on it.”

They both grabbed their sunglasses off the kitchen counter, then headed out through the door and straight down into the waves. The bright sunshine had warmed the water and Rori smiled brightly as she sank down until only her head was left above the surface.

They spent the next two weeks sunning themselves on the beach, swimming in the ocean and wrapped up in each other’s arms. The warmth helped chase away the aches in Rori’s shoulder and spending everyday laying out in sun beside the beautiful Caribbean waters was exactly what they both needed to relax and unwind after an exhausting year. Harry rented a boat for them for Aurora’s birthday and they’d spent the day sailing around the island. On one of the other days they hiked into the rainforest. It was a beautiful trip and Harry loved seeing a constant smile on Rori’s face, but before either of them liked, the two weeks were over, and they headed back to New York. When they returned from the Caribbean, Aurora went back to her surgeon for a follow up appointment.

xXx

Harry sat beside her as they waited in the Doctors office, holding her hand. Thankfully they didn’t have to wait too long before Dr Walker entered the room, she was surprised to notice that Aurora wasn’t joined by either of her fathers but rather by a young man she assumed was the elusive fiancé she had heard about but not yet met.

“Good to see you again, Aurora,” she said when she took her seat in front of them, her desk was set against the far wall allowing her more space in the small room. “How are you today?”

“Good to see you too, Dr Walker,” Rori smiled. “I’m really good. This is Harry.”

“The illusive fiancé?” she asked as he shook her hand.

“The one and only,” Rori chuckled, a slight blush colouring her cheeks.

“How was your birthday?” Dr Walker asks. “You’re looking very tanned.”

“It was wonderful, Harry took me down to Saint Lucia for the last 2 weeks. We only got back yesterday.”

“That would explain why you asked about salt water when I last saw you,” she laughed. “How was the hand while you were away?”

“It was ok. “Aurora shrugged. “I had to change out the bandage after about a week, but I made sure the stiches stayed dry the whole time. It’s still hurts if I try to move my fingers, but I think the warm weather helped. My shoulder feels better than it’s been in months.”

“That all sounds good,” the doctor nodded. “I’m planning to look at your knuckles when I next operate so that should help with the pain and we’ll get you in to physical therapy in a month or two to start getting things moving a little bit.”

“That would be great,” Rori nodded. The Doctor wheeled her chair closer to Rori then, asking for her hand and removing the brace and bandages to inspect the most recent wound. Aurora winced when she pressed on a certain spot and Harry squeezed her other hand.

“Everything looks to be healing nicely,” she said after a few minutes. “I’ll have a nurse remove the stitches and rebandage it before you head home.”

“Thank you,” Rori replied, resting her hand back in her lap.

“Now I hope you don’t mind but I’ve been talking with Dr Forster and since I know you hate surgery days, we thought we might combine the next one for your hand with your skin graft surgery.”

“Really, you can do that?” Aurora asked excitedly. “That’s sounds so great!”

“Skin grafts?” Harry asked, speaking up for the first time since greeting the doctor.

“We are going to use skin from Aurora’s forearm to try to smooth out some of the scarring on her shoulder,” Dr Walker explained. “I’m looking at early February for our next surgery, does that work for you?”

“I’m going to London at the start of February,” Aurora replied, looking to Harry and smiling.

“We can come back a little early,” Harry said. “Like maybe around the 4th or 5th?”

“Let’s pencil it in for the 7th?” the doctor asked.

“Ok,” Rori nodded, excited to finally have her scarring addressed, but overall, not enthused by the prospect of another surgery.

“Excellent,” Dr Walker replied. “Know let’s get a nurse to get those stitches out and then you can go back to enjoying the rest of your day.”

xXx

Harry stayed in New York for another week after the appointment with Aurora’s surgeon before he had to fly to London for meetings. Aurora decided to stay behind in New York, and the two made plans for her to join him at the end of the week for his birthday.

xXx

With Harry in London for meetings all week, Aurora decided to finally head down to her art studio for the first time in months. It was a cold January day, but the sky was clear, and the sun streamed in through the massive floor to ceiling windows in the studio, warming the room and bringing a smile to Rori’s face as she set up a canvas on her easel.

Aurora threw down her paint brush in frustration. She hadn’t even been in the studio an hour and she had already spilt her paints 3 separate times. With her left hand still wrapped up in its brace, she was struggling to stabilize her palette on the worktable she had dragged over next to her easel. Angry tears stung her eyes and she found all her inspiration for the half-finished canvas in front of her evaporating. She left the room in a huff, turning towards her music studio down the hall in the hopes of channelling her bubbling emotions into her other avenue of art. She lasted barely 20 minutes in the studio, struggling to utilize any of the instruments with only one hand, before her anger intensified beyond her control.

“Sir? Captain? It appears that Miss Stark is quite destressed in her recording studio and she may have reinjured her left hand.”

Tony’s head snapped up at JARVIS’s announcement, his eyes locking with Steve’s across the workshop. He saw his own concern mirrored on his husbands face as they both lurched to their feet and rushed from the room.

A chair smashed against the wall when they entered the recording studio that Tony had built for their daughter, and said daughter was crying hysterically in the middle of the room, clutching her injured hand to her chest. Damaged instruments scattered the room and sheet music had be thrown across the floor. They both rushed towards her, Tony reached her first and wrapped his arms around her from behind as she screamed wordlessly, sobbing as her legs gave out, his grip the only thing keeping her on her feet. Steve joined them a moment later, adding his arms to the hug and sandwiching the young woman between them both. They sank to the floor together as her screams died down and her sobbing lessened. Nobody spoke as she continued to shake in their arms, her face pressed into Steve shoulder.

“What happened baby?” Steve asked softly after her breath finally began to even out.

At first, she didn’t answer, but when she did her voice was hoarse and cracked.

“I wanted to work,” she explained in barely more than a whisper. “I had lyrics in my head, and I wanted to get it out, but I can’t.” Her tears returned then, coating her cheeks and staining Steve’s shirt. “I can’t play anymore, and I couldn’t even keep the paper from sliding around when I tried to write.”

“JARVIS said you hurt your hand,” Steve said, reaching out to as if to touch the hand through its brace.

“I think I hit it when I through the bass at the wall,” she admitted guiltily. “I’m sorry dad,” she added, finally lifting her head to look at Tony over her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to trash everything. I just got so angry.”

“It’s ok kiddo,” Tony promised. “We can replace all of this. I’m just worried about you.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” she admitted. “I can’t play. I can’t write. Painting is so hard without being able to hold the palette and I can’t get my sketchbook to stay still on the table to sketch. What am I supposed to do with my life?”

“I don’t know baby,” Steve said, not wanting to lie to her. “But we’ll work it out, ok?”

“The surgeon said my hand will never be the same, no matter how many more surgeries I have,” Rori reminded the two men and then she whispered a sentence they both instantly knew would haunt them for months. “Sometimes I wish I’d died that day.”

“Please don’t say that baby,” Tony begged. “We’ll help you figure this out. I promise it won’t always hurt like this.”

Between the two of them, Tony and Steve managed to calm her down and the three of them made their way back upstairs and curled up on the sofa together to watch a movie.

NEXT CHAPTER 

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[hoekendo22]

Face Treatments.

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Below at Therapie Facility, our speciality is making use of Botox injections to improve your natural looks. Double-phase technology, look from the first application as well as does not exclude the client from daily tasks. Polydioxanone much better called PDO string has actually been used in the medication for decades. Much better know as the very same product that disolvable stitches are made from. This is the reducing edge of medical aesthetic therapies and also one that we do at Light Touch Aesthetics in Bury. PDO Thread lifting offers superb outcomes for skin lifitng as well as tightening up in countless areas of the face as well as body.

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Dr. Roach: Active surveillance is today’s approach to some prostate cancer - The Detroit News

Dr. Roach: Active surveillance is today’s approach to some prostate cancer.

Posted: Fri, 07 Aug 2020 07:00:00 GMT [source]

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[psychosistr]

The Jojo Support Squad

For Day 4 of @josuyasuweek​ - CollegeAU/Friends/Summer Job

Summary: Okuyasu’s pleasant afternoon with the rest of the jo-bro’s is interrupted by a surprise stand-user attack! Can he and the other’s fend him off on their own without their Jojo’s around to help?

Notes: So, remember how in the other ones I said that all of these took place in the same modern AU? Well, here’s where it gets more noticeable xD The basic relationship breakdowns are as follows:

Jonathan, Joseph, Johnny, and Jotaro��s grandfathers are all brothers with Jotaro’s grandfather still being Josuke’s dad. Jolyne was found as a toddler by Holly and raised alongside Jotaro as his adopted sister when the Joestar family birthmark was found on her. Jotaro and Jolyne met Josuke when they were all still pretty young and they’ve grown up knowing each other. Giorno’s still part Brando and part Joestar, but at the moment it looks like his father might actually be related to Diego’s father (if not the same person) and his Joestar blood may come from his half-Japanese mother. Gappy (part 8 Josuke) is still a fusion of Josefumi Kujo and a man name Yoshikage Kira, though it’s a different Kira than the one that part 4-Josuke’s group deals with.

Also worth noting is that, in this world, Baron Zeppeli is Caesar’s uncle who is still alive, but that Caesar’s father knew Joseph’s and that’s where part of his grudge originally came from, and Gyro is one of Caesar’s many cousins because the Zeppeli family is just as huge as the Joestars xP Caesar also used to associate with Passione back during his street-thug days and was on good terms with Bucciarati’s group- it’s also where he originally met Speedwagon as their two gangs would travel between England and Italy often and the two have been best friends for years.

Jonathan’s in a poly relationship with Erina and Speedwagon and has been with them for about five years by now following their first fight against DIO. Joseph and Caesar have been “best friends/roommates with benefits” for a couple of years now but only recently started “officially” dating. Jotaro and Kakyoin have been together since their first fight against DIO a year and a half ago. Josuke and Okuyasu just hit their one year anniversary. Giorno and Mista got together shortly after meeting the other Jojo’s. Jolyne is dating both Anasui and Ermes, but the two of them are not dating each other in any way, shape, or form, and often antagonize each other and fight for their equal shares of Jolyne’s attention but she loves them both equally- they’ve been together for a few months by this point. Johnny and Gyro are partners in the local horse-racing challenge league and have also been dating for about half a year by now. Lastly, Gappy and Yasuho just joined the group recently and their relationship is the newest, having only been officially dating for a couple of weeks before meeting the rest of the group.

____________________________________________________________

“Hey, guys!” Okuyasu waved to the group of people seated at a pair of pushed-together tables outside of a café as he ran up to join them. “Sorry I’m late- got held up at work.”

“You’re always late.” Kakyoin commented while grabbing one of the red macaroons set out on a plate nearby, giving the other Japanese boy a teasing smirk. “At this point, I think we’d be more worried if you were actually on time.”

“ ‘fraid ‘e’s got ya on that one, mate.” Speedwagon chuckled, raising his cup of tea in greeting.

“Yeah, yeah, I know..” Okuyasu sighed and took the empty seat between Mista and Anasui, gratefully taking the plate that Gyro handed him from across the table so he could start grabbing his share of the pastries and finger sandwiches before they were all gone. “So, did I miss anything?”

“Nah, we were just getting started!” Ermes grinned at him from the other side of Anasui. “Caesar spent ten minutes ranting about how Joseph used up all the hot water, again.”

Caesar picked up his espresso cup with an annoyed look on his face. “Well, maybe if that idiot didn’t do it EVERY DAY, I could go a week without complaining about it!”

Everyone at the tables laughed at the look on his face, many of them familiar with this particular rant by now.

After thanking Erina and Yasuho for passing him the French-press and a mug from their end of the tables, Okuyasu fixed himself a cup of coffee. Taking his first sip, he looked from one end of the table to the other at the motley crew seated around him.

On the far left of the table was Speedwagon with Caesar to his right. The two of them were the ones to start this little tradition since they’d known each other the longest, often going out for drinks or meals to hang out. When they both wound up living in the same town again because of Jonathan and Joseph, they made going out a weekly event.

Okuyasu himself was seated one place away from Speedwagon’s left side with Anasui directly to his left, Ermes on the other side of Anasui, and Kakyoin across the table from Anasui. The four of them had been brought into the tradition after winding up in town- Kakyoin and Okuyasu because they were traveling with Jotaro and Josuke respectively, and Anasui and Ermes because they followed Jolyne after being released from the prison ship they’d been transported across the sea on. It had been a casual invitation from Speedwagon, asking if the four of them wanted to tag along for dinner one day at his treat after a particularly rough day.

Directly to Speedwagon’s left on the other side of Okuyasu was Mista, who was busy feeding his stands little bits of a cookie that he broke up for them. They’d run into him one day while on their way to lunch shortly after meeting him and his group. He already knew Caesar and Speedwagon somewhat through Passione, but the rest of them were essentially strangers. After some insistence from his tiny stands and pleading for food, Mista joined them and became a more included member of their little squad.

Directly across the table from Okuyasu, seated between Kakyoin and Caesar, was Caesar’s cousin Gyro. Gyro was one of the newer members of their group, but he’d warmed right up to everyone without much trouble. He was actually the one to insert himself into the group after overhearing that they were going out for drinks one night at Passione’s bar and asking if he could tag along. When he said he was a bit frustrated because of Johnny, they welcomed him into the fold with open arms.

On Kakyoin’s other side seated directly across from Ermes was Yasuho. She had recently overthrown Gyro for the title of newest member, as they’d only met her and Josuke (Gappy, as they tended to call him to avoid confusion with Okuyasu’s own Josuke) a couple of weeks ago. This was actually her first time joining them, having been given the invitation earlier in the week.

Lastly, at the right end of the table between Ermes and Yasuho, was Erina. Erina had been a casual member of their group for a while now, but her schedule was rather hectic and often took her out of town. On the rare occasion that she was in town, however, she was more than happy to join the others and catch up. Seeing as it had been a few weeks since her last opportunity to join them, Erina was the one to choose the venue this time- selecting the quaint café with its wide variety of sweets and drinks.

They were certainly an odd sight, all gathered together outside of the café. A mismatched group of people from different countries, demographics, and social classes, all gathered together for sweets. What was the driving force that compelled these people to come together?

The answer was simple: The Joestars.

Each of them had come to love and cherish a member of the Joestar bloodline with all their heart, ultimately falling in love with them. Their lives had all changed in grand, drastic, and bizarre ways due to their association with the strong and clever Joestars, making their lives even richer and more fulfilling than before.

That being said, the Joestars all had their little quirks that got on their partners’ nerves and they needed a place to vent about it occasionally.

Originally, the get-togethers were just a fun little “we need a break from the Joestar brand of insanity, lets grab a bite to eat” thing the small group did on Sundays (barring any aforementioned insanity popping up). Back when it had just been the six of them, Okuyasu had been the one to joke about how it was like their own marriage-counseling session, with most of the others laughing and agreeing with him (except for Caesar, as he refused to admit that he was actually in love with Joseph for the longest time- thank god that wall finally broke down, the others were getting tired of rolling their eyes all the time). By the time Mista joined the group, the weekly outing had become the unofficial “Jojo-dating-therapy-session” for all of them.

Their group had been nicknamed the J.S.S.- the “Jojo Support Squad”. When asked by their partners and friends whether the name meant they supported their respective Jojo’s or if they needed support for dealing with them, they would all just grin and answer with a vague but emphatic “YES”.

They each still loved their partners, of course- complaining about someone’s more annoying traits doesn’t mean you love them any less. Having an open and understanding environment to jokingly air out your grievances, however, was healthy for all of them. So, to give each of them a break and a way to unwind with others who knew the joy, frustration, and bizarreness that dating a Joestar could bring, each week the group took turns letting someone pick a restaurant or bar for them to meet up in and unwind with good food and/or drinks while they all laughed about their Jojo’s antics.

Finishing off a small tart, Okuyasu tuned back into the conversations around him right as Erina let out a light laugh. “Oh, speaking of birthdays..” She smiled at Speedwagon across the table. “Jonathan got ours confused again.”

Speedwagon rolled his eyes and brought a hand to his head, but the smile on his face was still fond and good-natured. “Is THAT why ‘e suddenly showed up outside the office lookin’ like ‘e’d just run a marathon with a bunch o’ roses in ‘is ‘ands?”

Erina laughed again, bringing one hand to her mouth as she did. “I’m afraid so. He invited me out and said that he had made reservations for a ‘special occasion’. I was confused until I looked at the calendar.” She shook her head with an equally fond smile. “His face turned as red as those roses, but I told him to just make sure he got to see you before midnight!”

“At least ‘e got THAT done right.” Speedwagon chuckled and rolled his eyes. “God, what is that? Three, four years in a row now?”

“Four.” Erina mirrored the action and shook her head again. “You would think he’d remember by now.”

“Are your birthdays close together?” Gyro asked them with a curious raise of his eyebrow.

“Ha!” Speedwagon laughed. “Not even close, mate- got a whole season between us!”

“His is October 16th.” Erina said while gesturing towards Speedwagon with her tea cup before raising it towards herself to take a sip. “Mine is June 10th.”

“Poor Jojo can’t keep the numbers straight in ‘is ‘ead t’ save ‘is life.” Speedwagon grabbed a biscotti from the plate that Caesar passed him before passing it along to Mista. “Says all the ones an’ zeroes get mixed up with the six and ‘e forgets which one’s which.”

“At least he knows the dates.” Ermes frowned, distractedly dunking a donut in her coffee. “We must’ve told Jolyne OUR birthdays a hundred times and she STILL can’t remember them!”

“Oh please,” Anasui sighed in annoyance. “It’s not the end of the world. Jolyne can so many amazing things- overlooking a date here and there isn’t worth getting upset over.”

Ermes gave him a dead-pan look that clearly spoke to her lack of sympathy. “Dude, your birthday’s January 1st. It’s the first day of the year and literally the easiest date to remember. I remember it, and we’re not even dating!”

“……” Anasui hid the fact that he was pouting behind his coffee cup while taking an extra-long avoiding-the-conversation sip.

Okuyasu looked at the pair beside him. “Geez, that must be rough. Can’t relate, though- Josuke knows EVRYONE’S birthdays. It’s like he puts reminders in his phone or something.” He frowned slightly and glanced away. “But he did give me the silent treatment for a week when I forgot his birthday…” He shuddered at the thought of his boyfriend’s “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look that he’d been subjected to the whole time- the punishment only ending when he forcefully dragged the other teen all over town for a make-up date where he treated him to lunch, a movie, and bought him anything he wanted from the stores. His wallet was much lighter after that day, but the forgiving smile and kiss on the cheek he received was well worth it. “I’m never doing that again..” He muttered to himself.

“At least you know when your boyfriend’s birthday is.” Mista sighed while leaning his chin into his hand, an annoyed frown on his face. “I keep asking, but Giorno refuses to tell me- he keeps saying I’d probably break up with him if I found out. What the heck does THAT mean?”

“Maybe it has to do with your superstition.” Caesar suggested after grabbing a finger sandwich from his plate. “And trust me, sometimes it is better NOT to know. Every September, Jojo spends the whole month reminding me as if I’M the one who forgot HIS birthday two years in a row.”

“Good to see you’re not bitter about that one, huh?” Gyro teased his cousin with a cocked brow before shrugging. “Then again, me and Johnny haven’t really been together long enough for that to be a problem yet.”

“I know what you mean..” Yasuho said from her spot on the other end of the table. “We don’t know if Josuke actually has a birthday, and mine hasn’t even happened yet.”

Okuyasu smiled a bit while Erina tried suggesting Yasuho and Gappy pick an official date to celebrate his birthday. It was nice getting to hang out with everyone like this, away from their boyfriends (girlfriend, in Anasui and Ermes’ case) and just unwind for a bit. He still loved spending time with Josuke, of course, but it was nice to have some time apart now and then.

Thinking of the other pompadoured teen gave Okuyasu an idea and he pulled out his phone. After arranging the various little pastries and sweets on his plate to look a bit nicer, Okuyasu snapped a picture of the treats and sent it to Josuke. He didn’t have to wait long to get a reply, grinning and chuckling quietly when he saw the text and replied to it.

Josuke: “Dude, those look SO good! O_O Where’d you guys go today?”

Me: “Café Erina likes called Jo’s Jolt. This stuff s as good as it looks and you cant have any! >:D”

Josuke: “Youre such a jerk lmao XD”

Josuke: “Btw you wanna hit up the arcade later? Heard they just got in that new Treasure Raiders game.”

Me: “Hell yeah! :D That sounds awta;9?;ouz”

Okuyasu’s last text got messed up when Mista suddenly grabbed him and pulled him up out of his chair, his phone briefly falling out of his hands. “Incoming!!” He shouted in warning right before something shot past him and hit the table- its path taking it right through where Okuyasu was just sitting.

The object that hit the table looked like a metal sphere that was blinking with a red light. When the light started blinking faster, rapidly gaining speed and shortening the time between flashes, Caesar’s eyes widened and he quickly jumped up onto the table. “Get down!” He shouted as he swiftly grabbed the sphere, encasing it in a bubble as he moved. “Bubble Barrier!” He then threw the bubble-encased object as high up into the air as he could, where it exploded and burst the bubble around it.

Thanks to his earlier warning, everyone else had ducked down below the table for cover while Caesar himself used another bubble barrier around his own body. Everyone’s respective cover, combined with Caesar’s initial bubble barrier around the explosive, helped to significantly lessen the resulting shockwave.

Okuyasu looked around in alarm after the smoke from the bomb cleared and everyone got to their feet. “What the heck was that?!”

“Ahahahahaha!” A jarring voice laughed from above them, all eyes looking towards the roof of the café beside them. Atop the building was a tall but stocky man whose appearance was hidden by a cloak. “Greetings, comrades of the Joestar family! You picked a bad day to go out on your own!” The man threw off his cloak, revealing a scarred face and buzz-cut black hair on his head and green army fatigues with several medals adorning his body. “I, the Modern Major General, and my stand War Pigs, will put an end to your meddling in Lord Dio’s-!” He ducked just in time to avoid being hit in the head by two separate shots, having to jump to the other side of the roof to avoid one of the shots ricocheting back towards him after abruptly turning mid-air. “Hey! I wasn’t finished yet!”

Down on the ground, Speedwagon and Mista both stood with their guns drawn and aimed at the Modern Major General. Once one of Mista’s stands flew back down to him to join the others floating behind him, he glanced towards Speedwagon while keeping his gun trained on their enemy. “That bomb didn’t come from him- Cinque saw it fired from a few feet behind us. He’s either got back up or his stand’s got a longer range.”

The Modern Major General smirked down at them. “Right on both counts, maggot.” He pulled out a whistle from a pocket on his uniform and blew into it. “Troops! Fall in!”

At his command, nearly every person walking on the streets or in the nearby buildings, minus the café itself, suddenly stopped and fell limp as if they’d had some invisible strings cut from their bodies. Then, all at once, they turned to face the group at the café and marched forward in unison- forming a perimeter around them consisting of a small army’s worth of people. Their eyes were hollow and lifeless and their skin looked waxy and pale, as if they had already passed on from this world and were now nothing more than puppets.

At another blow into his whistle, a stand appeared behind the soldier on the roof. It looked like a humanoid boar creature with one of its tusks broken off, a scarred eye, and was covered in camouflage gear- including a classic green helmet on its head and black war paint under its eyes. The stand raised one of its hands into the air and formed a fist, similar helmets to its own appearing on the people around the group to give them the façade of an actual militarized unit. When it moved its hand into a salute, various weapons ranging from close-quarter combat knives to military-grade firearms appeared in their hands.

Realizing what was about to happen, Yasuho was surprisingly the first one to act. She picked up the chair that she had been seated in a minute ago and threw it right into the nearby window of the café with a shout. “Take cover!!!”

The group quickly did such and rushed into the shop through the busted window since it was closer than the door, getting inside and hitting the floor just in time to avoid the barrage of bullets that would have hit them. While they themselves had been lucky enough to avoid the assault, a few of the café’s employees and indoor-patrons had gotten caught in the cross-fire, resulting in bullet wounds and cuts from the breaking glass that accompanied the blasts.

Speedwagon looked to the injured people with a worried frown. “This isn’t good. They’ve got us pinned AND outnumbered- we need a plan.” He turned to Erina and Yasuho. “Erina, get everyone behind the counter an’ get ‘em patched up. Yasuho, give ‘er some ‘elp.” He looked at Okuyasu, Anasui, Ermes, Gyro, and Caesar. “You lot try t’ find a way up t’ the roof and put that bastard in ‘is place. If ya take ‘im out, the soldiers’ll drop like flies.” Lastly, he turned to Kakyoin and Mista. “You two are with me. We’re gonna lay down some cover fire and make sure those buggers don’t get in. Got it?”

Once everyone gave a nod of understanding, they each rushed to their assigned tasks.

Erina and Yasuho got to work on moving the injured customers and employees behind the register counter and display cases, Yasuho calling out her stand and using it to help drag anyone who was unconscious. After they got everyone to a relatively safe spot, Yasuho pulled out her phone and looked at Paisley Park.

“We’re going to need some help here.” When her stand nodded and held a hand out towards the phone, the screen lit up with two choices. Yasuho looked to Erina, who was busy checking everyone’s injuries. “Which would be better? Alcohol or numbing gel?”

“The alcohol.” Erina answered while using some paper towels from behind the counter to wipe up someone’s blood. “It will hurt more, but we need to keep these wounds from getting infected.”

“Got it.” Yasuho said while tapping the bottle of rubbing alcohol on her screen, the bottle emerging from the phone with the help of her stand and materializing in the real world. She continued to use her stand’s ability to get items for Erina, the latter using the acquired supplies to treat the wounds of the injured civilians to the best of her ability.

As they worked to treat the wounded, Speedwagon, Mista, and Kakyoin each took up a position at one of the windows to fire at the advancing army. Their efforts seemed in vain, though, as the enemy just kept going no matter how they shot their arms or legs.

“Emerald Splash!!” Kakyoin called out the signature attack of his stand as a wide arc of emeralds were launched at the undead soldiers. The sound of a door being kicked open nearby caught his attention, causing him to turn towards the kitchen where a few of the soldiers were trying to get in. “!!”

Before he had a chance to react, a metallic object flew past his eyes and sliced the heads off of the soldiers. With their heads damaged, the helmets fell off to reveal glowing bullet holes and the bodies finally fell limply to the ground.

“The ‘eads!” Speedwagon called to the other two while catching his hat when it spun back around in his direction. “Aim for the ‘eads an’ knock their ‘elmets clean off!”

“On it!” Mista said while doing just that- firing six shots with each bullet guided by one of his stands to hit the green helmets and send them flying off, resulting in each person hit falling to the ground.

Using the hole that the others made for them in the advancing horde, Okuyasu’s group ran out into the fray and started fighting off any of the close-range soldiers that tried to attack with their knives.

“Caesar!” Gyro called after knocking back a pair of enemies with his steel balls. “Diamo a questi bastardi uno speciale per la famiglia Zeppeli!”

Caesar looked at his cousin with a smirk. “Con piacere.”

The shorter haired Zeppeli then took in a deep hamon breath and began to shape a large bubble. Once it was big enough, Gyro reached over and touched the surprisingly strong soapy film of the bubble and moved it, channeling the power of the spin into the bubble’s rotation. Within seconds the bubble was glowing and crackling with two similar yet different wave-lengths of energy from the hamon and spin that were powering it up.

When the bubble was ready, the two Italians launched it forward at the same time. The super bubble proceeded to ricochet around the battlefield like a pinball, bowling over any enemies in its path while always managing to avoid running into anyone from their own group. The chaos it caused help to further clear their path around to the side of the building where they could get to the roof with a bit more ease and be out of the line of fire.

Just before they rounded the corner, though, Okuyasu heard the familiar tune of the song “Great Days” being sung in his boyfriend’s voice and instantly recognized the ringtone. “Oh, shit!” He summoned The Hand and spotted his phone back by the now knocked over tables. As soon as he saw an opening, he used his stand’s powers to swipe away the space between him and his phone, drawing the small object closer and catching it. “Gotcha!” He looked at the screen and, sure enough, there was Josuke’s picture with his caller ID, along with a list of messages and one or two other missed calls on the list. Feeling bad for making the other boy worry about him, Okuyasu quickly answered the call and brought the phone to his ear. “Hey, Josuke.”

“There you are! Dude, you had me freakin’ out over here!” Josuke let out a relieved sigh. “That last text was weird- everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Okuyasu frowned slightly while using The Hand to make the heads of some nearby soldiers that tried to follow them disappear, working in tandem with Gyro and Caesar to keep the enemies from cornering them. “I kinda dropped the phone when Mista grabbed me, and then there was the explosion, and I left my phone at the table when we had to duck inside-”

“Woah, woah, back up!” Josuke interrupted him. “What the heck’s going on over there?!”

“Oh, right.” Okuyasu smacked himself in the forehead for forgetting the important part. “We’re sort of fighting off this weird stand user that works for Dio. He’s got a bunch of zombie people in helmets with guns and junk, so we’re gonna climb up to the roof and kick his ass.”

“What?!” Josuke didn’t sound very relieved after hearing his answer. “Are you okay?! Do you guys need back up?!”

“Uhhh..one sec, lemme check.” Okuyasu held the phone away from his head while looking at Anasui and Ermes. “Hey, Josuke wants to know if we need back up!” He called over to them.

The pair of ex-convicts were busy creating a pathway to the roof by placing Kiss’s stickers on Diver Down’s limbs so that it could phase into the wall of the building and give them multiple points to climb on by leaving its limbs sticking out.

“Nah, we’re good!” Ermes called back to him while using her stand to grab onto one of the limbs and pull herself up.

“Okay!” Okuyasu went to bring the phone back to his head. “Yeah, I think we’re-” Before he could finish his reply, a bullet whizzed past his head and hit his phone. It probably would have hit him as well if Caesar and Gyro didn’t suddenly pull him back. “?!!” Okuyasu looked at the shattered remains of his phone with wide eyes and a slack jaw of disbelief. “Hey, not cool, man!” His expression quickly turned into an angry scowl when he looked around for the source of the gun shot. He eventually spotted the culprit several feet away with a sniper rifle in its hands. “Get over here, you asshole!” He shouted, using The Hand to drag the soldier right up to him so he could punch it in the face and knock its helmet off himself. “Great, now Josuke’s gonna freak out!”

“Sorry, amico mio.” Gyro gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, but the look on his face spoke of mischief. “But I know ONE thing that will make you feel better.” He pointed to the roof where Anasui and Ermes were just climbing over the edge. “Go on- we’ll cover you from down here.”

Okuyasu smirked and headed towards Diver Down while cracking his knuckles. “Yeah, that should help.” Similar to Ermes, he used his stand to grab on to each of Diver Down’s limbs and climb up to the roof.

Joining the others on the roof, he saw them battling against the Modern Major General and War Pigs with the stand putting up a surprisingly effective defense against Kiss’s assault. “Did you think I would be taken down that easily?” He taunted when his stand managed to dodge one of Kiss’s strikes and tossed her aside.

“Woah!” Ermes nearly lost her balance when she felt her stand being thrown, but Anasui steadied her while Okuyasu’s stand caught Kiss. “The guy’s got a decent stand, I’ll give him that..”

“Decent, maybe.” Anasui said once Ermes was on her feet again. “But we’ve dealt with worse.” He looked at the Modern Major General and his own stand rose up through the floor behind him. “Diver Down!” His stand lived up to its name and dove at the enemy, two of its multiplied fists raised as it struck.

The Modern Major General avoided the attack by jumping back out of the way, but the stand still hit the floor where he’d been standing. “Ha! Slow attacks like that are no match for my highly trained, combat-honed reflexes!”

“…….” Instead of responding verbally, Anasui just continued to have Diver Down attempt to strike the general, settling for hitting the roof whenever the stand missed.

Looking at the way the stand kept hitting the roof with its multiplied limbs, Ermes seemed to figure out what was going on. “Oh boy..this is gonna be big!” She backed away to edge of the roof quickly, keeping an eye on the fight happening a few feet away.

Before he could ask what was going on, Okuyasu saw Anasui smirk and got the feeling that he should back up too. “?!” Seeing the smirk increase, Okuyasu jumped back to the edge- apparently doing so just in time.

The Modern Major General avoided another punch and grinned. “Are you even trying? I could do this all da-!” Not being given a chance to finish his taunt, a copy of two of Diver Down’s fists suddenly shot up from the ground he landed on and knocked him into the air. “?!” When he fell onto another part of the roof, a pair of Diver Down’s legs shot up and kicked him back into the air. The pattern continued, a pair of fists or feet rising up out of the roof no matter where he seemed to land- effectively floating him from one side of the roof to the other.

“Did you really think I’d be sloppy enough to miss THAT many times?” Anasui said while watching his enemy get knocked back into the air repeatedly. “I was storing Diver Down’s energy all over this roof, waiting for you to lower your guard at just the right moment.”

As he fell back towards the roof again, the Modern Major General finally got his bearings and his stand appeared in front of him. “War Pigs!” A missile launcher appeared in the stand’s hands and it blasted the area of the roof its users was about to land on, the force driving him to the edge of the roof and clear of the trapped areas. “D..Damn you..I’m not going to fall for a trap like that again..!”

Okuyasu looked at the large amount of space between them and the general with a scowl. He REALLY wanted a piece of the action, too. Then, glancing at Ermes, he got an idea. “Hey, can I borrow a sticker?”

Ermes looked at him curiously. “Huh? For what?”

Okuyasu smirked and summoned The Hand in front of her with its right arm raised. “For THIS.”

Ermes grinned, getting the gist of what he wanted. “Ha! Sure, this oughta be fun!”

On the other side of the roof, the Modern Major General had his stand aim its missile launcher at Anasui. “Your stand has a limit to its range, so all I have to do is blow you away from over here and-!” Once again, he was interrupted- this time by a strong pulling sensation. “What?!” He was yanked forward across the roof, triggering multiple stored-energy points along the way and getting hit by every single fist and leg he came across.

Okuyasu looked down at him when the other stand user stopped right in front of him, cracking his knuckles. His stand stood behind him with two versions of its right hand still extended. “You know..I was having a pretty good day before YOU showed up..now my phone’s trashed, I’m pissed off, and I never even got to finish eating!” He glared at the man while pulling him up to his feet. “But you wanna know what REALLY pissed me off?” He curled his free hand into a fist. “You made me hang up on my boyfriend and freak him out, you asshole!!” He punched the general and sent him flying across the roof, setting off a few more of the stored energy points.

When he tried to get back up, Okuyasu used The Hand’s power to force him back over by deleting the empty space in front of him- the extra limb giving him more control of the area that was affected by his power and allowing him to jerk the general in various directions. At one point he got the general close enough to Ermes that she was able to punch him with Kiss and send him flying over to Anasui, who repeated the motion with Diver Down. The three stand users formed a triangle of punishment, the enemy stand user being pulled and punched across the roof and hitting all sorts of stored points along the way.

Finally, with the enemy barely conscious, Okuyasu punched him clear off the roof with his stand’s other hand, sending him sprawling down on the ground below in an unconscious heap.

With their commanding officer down, the horde of undead soldiers began to lose the unity of their previous attacks and just fired about aimlessly. The trio inside of the building, as well as the pair on the ground outside of it, took advantage of the loss in control and proceeded to thin out the ranks significantly.

Inside of the building, Yasuho looked to the windows with a relieved sigh. “Looks like they got him.”

“That’s a relief.” Erina sighed as well, finishing the last of her emergency first-aid on the civilians.

Yasuho was about to comment about the fight going on around them, when Paisley Park made another choice come up on her phone. “Huh?” Yasuho looked at the two weapons displayed on the screen in confusion. “A gun or a Taser? Why would we need these?”

Erina looked at the phone’s screen with a worried frown. “…….” After a moment, she spoke quietly. “Choose the gun.”

Yasuho looked at the blond woman curiously while tapping the picture. “But, I don’t know how to use it.” She said as she took the revolver produced by her stand’s ability.

“I know..” Erina looked back out the window at their allies fighting off the remnants of the undead army. “But I have a feeling we’ll need it..”

Without War Pigs giving them commands, the rest of the soldiers were dispatched fairly easily after a while- especially after the roof trio joined the fight in earnest on the ground. Finishing off the last of them, Okuyasu looked around for where he’d sent the Modern Major General flying earlier. “Did you guys see where that jerk landed?”

Ermes and Anasui shook their heads as they aided him in his attempt to find their enemy. Speedwagon and the others exited the building to aid in the search, leaving Yasuho and Erina inside to look after the wounded.

Kakyoin looked around with a serious frown on his face. “This isn’t good. I’ll set up a perimeter with Hierophant Green and see if we can spot him.”

Just as the stand was starting to unravel itself, they all heard a startled scream from within the building and turned towards it. “!!!!!”

They saw the Modern Major General standing behind the shattered window, looking bloodied and bruised, with a dark scowl on his face as he held Erina’s arms behind her back. Beside him, his stand had a similar hold on Yasuho with one hand and a desert eagle held against her head with the other hand. The general glared at them as he and his stand stepped out of the building with their hostages. “Alright…none of you move or the ladies here get it.” To show he was serious, he had his stand press the barrel of its gun harder against Yasuho’s head. “Now drop your weapons and call off your stands!”

Not wanting to risk their friends’ lives, everyone did as they were told. The stand users all had their stands retreat for the moment while Mista and Speedwagon set their guns on the ground, Gyro doing the same with his steel balls. At a gesture from the general, they kicked their weapons towards him and out of their reach.

Speedwagon, however, kept his hat on, silently making plans when the general didn’t comment on it. “Alright…ya got what ya wanted, now let ‘em go!” As he spoke, he moved one of his hands behind himself where Kakyoin and Okuyasu, who were standing behind him, could see it. He made two motions with his hand- one grabbing gesture, and one where he brought his fingers together and split them apart slowly.

The boys got the idea and Kakyoin acted first, silently summoning his stand in its unraveled form and spreading the tendrils of it along the ground so that they slowly snaked their way towards the general. As he did so, Okuyasu had The Hand’s right hand super-imposed over his own from where it was hidden behind his back, waiting for his cue.

“Let them go? Ha!” The Modern Major General smirked at them. “Oh no, I’ve got plans for them- for ALL of you.” He looked at his stand with the gun in its hand. “You see, losing a few soldiers here and there means nothing to me. My War Pigs can conscript anyone into my army with a single shot to the head.” He looked back at the others with a malicious grin. “That is why Lord Dio sent ME to get rid of you. Soon, you will all become soldiers for my army- an army that will take down the Joestars! Just imagining the look on their faces when their closest allies come to kill them, being forced to fight those who once fought so hard for them, and then being finished off by those same allies- oh, I can hardly wait to see it!”

Kakyoin spoke calmly, the strands of his stand getting close to the enemy, unseen so far. “A twisted plan, indeed- one we’ve come to expect from Dio and his minions.”

“Not a bad plan, really.” Mista commented, the rest of the group having noticed what was happening by now.

“But you left one thing out, amico.” Gyro said with a quiet chuckle, looking amused.

“Si, something VERY important.” Caesar’s expression matched his cousin’s perfectly.

“Oh yeah?” The Modern Major General asked while eyeing them suspiciously. “And what would that be?”

“US!” Okuyasu said, finally revealing his hand and swiping it through the air.

“!!” War Pigs was about to shoot Yasuho, but the green tendrils of Kakyoin’s own stand rose out of the ground and pried its arms away from her, allowing her to be pulled forward by Okuyasu’s stand.

Once she’d gotten her bearings and stood among the others, Yasuho pulled the gun her stand had given her earlier out from under the hem of her shirt and handed it to Mista. “Here, I think you’ll get more use out of this than I would.”

Mista took the gun and opened it up so his stands could get in alongside the bullets. “Thanks, I’ll put it to good use.”

“Why, you-!” The Modern Major general’s face contorted into an enraged snarl as he gripped Erina tighter. “I warned you! Now-!” This time the one to interrupt him was Erina, who did so by suddenly slamming her head back into her captor’s nose while simultaneously stomping on his foot with her high-heeled shoe. “!!!!”

Erina quickly slipped out of the hold while he was in pain and ducked. “Now, Robert!”

“Right, love!” Speedwagon called back to her while taking his hat and throwing it at their enemy. The deadly clothing easily sailed over Erina’s head and sliced right across her assailant’s eyes before flying back towards him.

“AAAAAH!!! My eyes!!” The general screamed in pain, futilely bringing his hands up to hold his bleeding pupils.

Unable to see them coming, everyone in the group got into position around the general.

“Your plan wasn’t bad, mate.” Speedwagon began, twirling his hat idly on the tip of one finger. “But ya forgot one VERY important thing.” He slashed the backs of the general’s hands with his hat and tripped him, sending him towards Caesar.

“Si, you forgot about US.” Caesar summoned a small volley of his hamon-infused bubbles that crashed into the man and sent him towards Anasui and Ermes.

“We’re not that easy to take down!” Ermes used her stand to hold the general in place.

“And we don’t like people threatening our partners.” Anasui said with a dark, deadly tone to his voice right before Diver Down punched the man- the stand’s fist hitting twice due to the energy it stored in the spot it struck and sending him flying towards Yasuho and Erina.

“So don’t try anything with us around!” Yasuho took the broken chair that Erina handed her and gave it to her stand, Paisley Park smashing the chair over the enemy’s head to send him towards Gyro.

“Actually, don’t try anything AT ALL.” Gyro warned, channeling some spin energy into his fist to knock the general high up into the air.

“That’s right- it’s still a death sentence.” Mista aimed the gun Yasuho gave him at the general and fired every single shot at him, Sex Pistols passing the bullets around to make sure they all hit in the most painful spots possible.

“Because if you want to hurt the Joestars-” Kakyoin began, Hierophant Green sending out a blast of emeralds that battered and pierced the general further.

“Then you gotta go through US!!” Okuyasu finished Kakyoin’s threat, summoning The Hand and using his stand to shorten the space between the general and the ground- causing him to slam right into the group below where every member of their squad had their stand’s and/or their own hands raised into fists to punch him when he landed.

The Modern Major General was soundly knocked out from the force of the impact, his body falling in a bloody heap on the ground- this time being most likely the last for the time being.

When the adrenaline wore off and the metaphorical dust settled, Okuyasu and the others realized that they felt like they were being watched. They turned around to see who was watching them and found their various Jojo’s standing a few feet away. Every single one of them were staring with a look that was, for lack of a better term, star struck.

While their partners’ looks were adorable and endearing, someone had to break the silent trance they were all in. So, Speedwagon took it upon himself to do so, walking over to Jonathan.

“Enjoyin’ the show there, love?” He asked with a teasing smile.

“Huh? O-Oh!” Jonathan snapped out of his fond gazing and a slight flush appeared on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “My apologies! I-I just, that is, we thought-!”

Erina giggled and joined Speedwagon in front of Jonathan, reaching up to playfully tap the tip of his nose with her finger. “It seems you left him speechless, Robert. Whatever shall we do?”

“Oh, ‘e probably jus’ wants a cute nurse or two t’ take care o’ ‘im!” Speedwagon laughed, winking at Jonathan. “ ‘e’s kinda cute like that, though.”

Jonathan let out an exasperated huff and wrapped his arms around both of his partners. “You may tease me all you want, I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Nearby, Joseph folded his arms and shrugged his shoulders when Caesar walked over to him. “I don’t get why we had to rush over here. I TOLD them you’d be fine.”

Caesar cocked one brow with a knowing smirk, leaning in close to Joseph to unnerve him. “Oh? So you didn’t panic when you heard I was fighting without you again?”

“Oh no, he was screaming about it the whole time.” Johnny commented as he passed by in his wheelchair. He ignored the way Joseph blushed and shouted names like “traitor” at him, as well as Caesar’s following laughter, as he made his way over to Gyro. “I knew you’d be okay, though.”

Gyro chuckled and ruffled Johnny’s hair affectionately. “Good to know you’ve got so much faith in me.” He grinned when he saw the small smile on Johnny’s face that he tried to hide by looking away, prompting him to lean down and give him a kiss on his forehead.

Off beside them, Jolyne smiled at Anasui and Ermes. “That was great- I came in around the end where you beat the heck out of that guy.” She looked between the two of them with a teasing smile. “It’s good to see you two getting along like that for a change.”

Ermes and Anasui looked at each other for a moment before Ermes laughed. “Us? Getting along? Yeah, right!”

Anasui huffed and rolled his eyes. “Unlikely.”

Despite their words, they glanced at each other with an amicable smile- one that Jolyne definitely caught. “Uh huh, suuuuuure.” She said sarcastically before slipping between them and putting one arm around each of their shoulders, giving her boyfriend and her girlfriend each a quick peck on the cheek.

Not too far away behind them, Giorno was being swarmed by Sex Pistols and their barrage of comments “Did you see us, Giorno?!” “We were cool, right?!” “Mista sure got angry!” “It’s because that meanie said he was gonna hurt Giorno..” “Well, we wouldn’t let that happen!” “Yeah! We’d help protect you, Giorno!”

Giorno gave the stands a small, fond smile. “Thank you- I feel safer already.” He gave one of the tiny stands a light pat on the head with the tip of his finger, but his eyes were locked on the stand’s user, giving him a look of gratitude that made Mista blush and avert his gaze elsewhere with an innocent whistle- pretending he didn’t hear what his stands just said (or that he could feel it when Giorno patted them in appreciation).

“So..” Kakyoin began, eyeing Jotaro with a mildly amused smile once he’d made his way over to him nearby. “Were you worried?”

“……” Jotaro looked at him quietly for a moment before pulling his hat down over his eyes. “Hmph, yare yare daze. Figured you’d be fine..Josuke just panicked and made us rush over..”

Kakyoin tilted his head, leaning sideways slightly so he could see under the brim of his boyfriend’s iconic hat. “Oh? You weren’t worried at all?”

“Of course not.” Jotaro turned his head away, but Kakyoin caught the way the corner of his mouth lifted slightly as he spoke. “You wouldn’t be my partner if I thought you couldn’t handle yourself.”

While Kakyoin smiled more at the other teen’s words, Gappy ran past them over to Yasuho and looked her over with a concerned frown on his face. “You’re okay, right? He didn’t hurt you?”

Yasuho laughed lightly and waved off her boyfriend’s concern. “I’m fine, Josuke. It wasn’t anything we couldn’t-” She blushed slightly when her boyfriend suddenly took her hand, holding it with a relieved smile on his face.

“Good…” He looked her in the eyes, smiling more. “I don’t know what I’d do without you..”

“Aw, Josuke..” She smiled back at him, squeezing his hand gently. “You’re getting so sappy- it’s weird.” They both laughed at that one, sharing the sentiment whole-heartedly.

Okuyasu looked through the crowd and spotted his own boyfriend still standing back where the Joestar group had started. Making his way over to him, Okuyasu gave Josuke an apologetic frown and rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Hey, Josuke..look, I’m sorry about earlier, but one of those creepy zombie-things shot my phone and I-” He was cut off mid-apology by a pair of lips firmly crashing into his own and strong arms wrapping around his waist. “?!” After taking a moment to regain his senses, Okuyasu returned the kiss as he always did.

He was (pleasantly) surprised by the amount of love and passion he could feel in the heated kiss, gasping slightly when he was dipped backwards for a moment and even feeling Josuke’s tongue slip into his mouth. By the time it was over and he was brought upright again, Okuyasu was (pleasantly) dazed with a huge grin on his face.

“That,” Josuke said, still keeping his arms locked tight around Okuyasu. “Was the hottest thing I have EVER seen.” He peppered Okuyasu’s face with kisses between each word he spoke. “You were so cool, babe. God, I just love you so much..”

Okuyasu grinned more from the praise and affection, wrapping his own arms around Josuke’s shoulders. “Hey, we’re the ‘Jojo Support Squad’, remember? Gotta be ready to support our Jojo’s, right?”

Everyone in the squad agreed, that’s what the Jojo Support Squad was for- supporting each other in airing out their mild complaints, but, ultimately, it was for supporting their beloved Jojo’s whenever they needed them.

End Notes: *collapses after posting this at 2:30 AM* Ugggh, I got over ambitious with this one @_@ It ended up WAY longer than I thought, but I didn’t have the strength of will to cut it. The next two will be shorter because of this, but I’m okay with that right now xP

Also, the Modern Major General is an OC I made together with my cousin. My cousin’s in the army and is a huge Jojo nerd, so one day we talked about what we’d be like as Jojo characters and we created this OC based off of the idea of him being a bad guy. I chose the character name because I’m a musical theater geek, and he came up with the concept for the stand because War Pigs, ironically, has been his favorite song for years (we used to guitar hero battle each other with that one all the time as kids x3). Overall, the idea of the character was to line up with the song War Pigs in that he liked to control others and could talk a big game, but, without his soldiers to send in to battle for him, he becomes pretty useless and death rightfully and swiftly comes for him.