#i have soo much im not saying but i think its good to give context

[aychama]

Just to add more context to this, at this point in the story Narinder and Lambert has taken down both Leshy and Heket, adding their kingdoms power to Narinder's.

However, while fighting Heket, Lambert was injured (or killed and resurrected, im not sure on this yet) so bad that when Kallamar and Shamura attacks, Narinder takes a loss because Lambert cannot fight. Aym also gets injured and loses his eye in this fight.

Being cornered by both Kallamar and Shamura, Narinder denies killing his siblings. Having no evidence against him (because Lambert has been sending false information to Shamura) they let him live in the condition of having to be married to Chelsea, a duchess in Kallamar's kingdom. Tying him down even more and now having full control over him.

After some things happen, Narinder is forced to have his strongest knight, who is Lambert, protect Chelsea almost 24/7 before they have to officially marry.

Delighted and secure in her position, Chelsea has free time to do whatever she wants, which is making life harder and harder for Lambert, playing with them out of boredom.

Narinder cannot do anything to stop the way Chelsea treats Lambert.

Both Lambert and Narinder are tired. Narinder has to deal with the pressure from almost all of the nobles, Forneus excluded, while Lambert has to protect and endure the awful treatment they get from the fiancee of the man they love.

Never enough.

[star-luvrx]

I LOVE ART!

please forgive my poor articulation.but i need to scream this from the rooftops!!

art is so amazing and i mean all art; painting, photography, sculpting, music, everything! just creating!!! lets not mention my hate for ai 'art' It is so important to me and ive been having these conversations recently about what you love about art what about it gives you passon and drive.

my friend loves how you tell something with a piece and what you can tell, art can have so much meaning and story behind it and it can say so much! and i think it is amazing and that passion you can see in peoples art from realism to contemporary right now she is painting a large canvas and shes useing this guy from jojos but hes like a cyborg and i think he gets cut in half now this i simportant, so she i susing him to convey life and showing your true self so his guts and flesh are spilling out of him but you an also see the metal in him and the contrast is great and its like this brutal thing but the backround is soft, and its like UGH AMAZING! anyway her art teacher finds passion in the prosess of art, and how you can use things,

Personally i love being able to captue (photoraphy) the small things and just the reality of something and its not always nice but its still is soo important to me, like for example if you were on some high mountian landscape that is itself is beautiful but then take a look at your feet and the small thnigs around you that just make this all work, the beauty in small things drives me crazy! in a good way! or like when your high up CN tower for example (expessaly at night) you can see all the lights and working of this big city machine and this machine needs ann these small pecies to work and function but as an indivual you feel so insignifigant, you can see all these little lights and every one is a story a life but then there is just a line where there is no more lights because that where the human life stops, and to make it better there are still lights in the sky the stars I LOVE THE STARS!!! and it would be such a heartwrenching scene if you could ACTUALLY SEE the stars above the city lights but you cant because poloution of all kinds.... but the sight, its so beautiful i love it i could sit there and watch all the lights move for hours. and i feel this way about soo many things! you in a music consert/festival, the falls i love it all.

ANOTHER THING! we were saying these conversations are so intresting and smart and have DEPTH! they are smart conversations, she is verry smart academically inclined but she still has the art 'side' in her and while they do conflict and have battle they are important to one another and can complement eachother beautifuly! im not verry academicly smart so please forgive my poor articulation. but we can still have these conversations with DEPTH! and we were saying that you just couldent have these important, smart conversations with some people (teachers in this context) for example our bio teacher you coud have these amazing conversations about art but he has that arty part of his brain! he is passionite and loves bio but he also loves music! and this can apply to sevral other of our intelectual teachers and students!! so many smart and science geard people have a arty side to them and they are all diffrent!! not just science people ,but science always seem sto be he opposeing side to art hence my stance. honestly science is beauty too like all these tiny tiny things working moving to make one part of one thing so on and so forth just to make one person function. LOVE IT!

art can tell you horrors, beauty and nothing but in a way that says somethting too.

[thefangirl-16-blog]

Ranting about Every Wide Smile

(that is currently in my playlist)

So I have a playlist of 20 different versions of wide smile and I'm bored so I'm gonna talk about them (cos I've got a mostly free day today and I'm procrastinating) also i worte this as I was listen to each versions so some have way more than others, sorry

1983 Workshop

I cant understand 90% of what he's saying but what i can hear i really like. But i mean its Michael and he's great so of course he sounds good lol. The context of this version's very different since it would go there U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D. is the final show and really wish i could hear it better cos the lyrics are definitely different and id really like to know they are. Also also I love much he gets into it

OLC Cast Recording

I listen to this one almost everyday lol. I have clear Michael Staniforth bias but can you blame me? idk what to say about this one, its just really great lol

Japan/Australia Tour 1987 album

The intro from Bway onwards is somehow giving both 14 year old writes edgy poetry and actually being kinda cool and idk how. This one does kinda sound like he's just singing instead acting it at all but that could also just be me. Like the way he says this red C will not divide a lot

London 1988

Okay unpopular opinion time but this is low-key my second favourite wide smile. Idk i just really like his energy also its very elctraboose-y to me so that's probably a big factor as well. "You naughty know it boy" my beloved. They way he says no way makes the brain very happy which is a weird thing to focus on i know lol

1989 Bochum Press Rehearsal

Rip Electra's Mic in the opening. I love the way cb moves so much also the way hes like red caboose:D at certain points - very cute. Mini handshake for the win HANDSTAND CARTWHEEL THINGY

Broadway 1988

TODD LESTER MY BELOVED <3 my absolute fave version no competition. THE SPILTS!!!! incredible. Gets one point off for Electra's brush hair tho. "I admire you soo" and "GREASEBAWL". The way he says rail disaster lives rent free in my way and can't explain and the hiding in the back of the freight train bit, basically all of it lol. Also im trying not to focus too much on visuals but love the choreography. V. good electraboose handshake as well. The little bit at the end with even more pop culture references is low-key incomprehensible half way through but i cant help but love it. "Sleep tight sleepy head, the red caboose is under your bed"

Bochum 1989

This somehow has less pixels than my beloved london boot. Idk how i feel about his laugh at the start still a very funky little guy tho. Nothing really stands out too much but its still very soild (as if theres a bad version this song) does the red ca-BOOSE thing at one point

US Tour 1990

I really like the way his voice sounds but idk how to articulate why. He gets the longer ending again which i really enjoy

'National Tour' 1990 (might also be US Tour)

Voice doesnt really scream cb to me but I dont dislike it either very different take on the handshake bit vocally but since I'm listening to these all at once, it's a welcome change

Bochum 1991 Album

The opening 2 seconds gives me life. Not sure about how i feel about it just kinda starting tho. He seems kinda quiet? at the beginning but i like him the longer it goes on tbh. He's just a funky little man here and i love it also he basically yells red caboose and i love that

honestly I have no idea what year this is Bochum

This one is defiantly in the wrong place in the playlist lol. I wish I had more to say about this one, it's just very solid but this is another one where nothing really stands out too much. I like his little laugh at the end tho

1991 Bochum

Another one that moves in a very cb way idk how to explain it but it juts screams cb to me lol. Love his voice as well. The way he say red caboose is so great. Handstand-cartwheel-thingy my beloved <3. Love his laugh as well

Bochum 2001

Very mixed emotions on this ceeb. Definitely think he goes way too far his laugh, he does sound pretty gremlin-y but im not sure if it's in a cb way? idk how to explain it. This Electra wig is just bad I'm sorry. Gets props for being the last video that I've found with the handshake. I think I've been too mean on this one, he's not BAD im just not sure if the vibes is right i guess?

Bochum 2003/4

The first handshake-less wide smile video. Also the audio on this insanely loud for some reason? it's got nothing to do with the performance tho. A nice ceeb, I enjoy. Electra puts his hand on CB's shoulder at end and i'm counting that as an electraboose moment now

Bochum 2003/4 (but a different one)

That moment when you realise this footage might be as old as you. fdjbjdkbgkbfkdb i hate having nothing say. He's good but nothing really stands out that much after it cut down imo so it makes the later ones hard

Bochum 2004

You can tell his guy is faking the laugh :/ he does just sound like he's say hahaha. Electra rolling the r in red sound is cool tho. This ceeb low-key did a little laugh-word thing on one of his red's and that's cute, i like that

Bochum 2015

Nice laugh in the beginning, still hate that they somehow made it shorter again and less electraboose stuff. He definitely does the red caBOOSE thing and I love that so much. There is lowkey electraboose at the end tho which is good (i mean they stand now to each but you know - im easily pleased)

English Charity Gala Bochum 2017

I don't really love Dan's CB that much tbh. His voice just doesn't really fit for me? love his can't explain. He has a v. good laugh tho, especially at the end

London Workshop 2017

Okay don't @ me but I really like this guy as BV, like i don't really like him the rest of the workshop but I do really like his wide smile. The way he says back and track is so great and idk why. "Ain't that rich". The vibe is very different from the ceebs but i think that really fits BV so im not complaining

Bochum 2018

I hinted this before, but I think Dan is a better BV than CB imo. Didn't say this before but I love that it's longer again (now give them a handshake as well). Dan's high notes absolutely give me life

[surviving---not---living]

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 12th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware

Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6 | Ep. 7 | Ep. 8 | Ep. 9 | Ep. 10 | Ep. 11

I am the definition of Fear.jpg rn please help

MTR are so cute, just celebrating their win. Look at how happy they are!

... Oh well thats new. I like how Ichijauku has a tiny bit more agency in throwing out ideas (it really shows how close her and otome trust each other) but it also completely retcons a part of hypmic lore that was established with the Drama tracks. If you’ve heard “” then you know what I’m talking about

SMILING DOPPO HOLY SHIT DOPPO

ahaha doppo i love you so much youre so adorable you deserve to be happy

MTR as a family is just soo good. Both as familial or 

Hmm.... yes Samatoki has the right to be angry but that flattens him to a good for nothing thinks first asks questions later type of thug which is absolutely not what his character is. Especially with how the anime portrays him, it seems like there's only one emotion that he feels at any moment and that is anger. Which, fair he is an angry boy, but thats just one facet of his character. He’s also logical and not that sore of a loser, seeing that he still has room to grow (if you want an anime example, refer to the previous episode where he genuinely wonders what he could have done to treat Nemu better)

I think my biggest gripe with the adaptation is the flattening of all the characters TBH. I only really see it in Samatoki since I understand his character the most but I also see hints of it with Rio, Hifumi, and Gentaro. Most of the characters are just flattened into 2D tropes and made to act those tropes out. Which, y’know is the basis of each character but the series has built upon each character so well that its kinda jarring seeing them all so flat

I’m not sayin that I hate what the Anime has done with MTC but I hate what the anime has done with MTC

I expected a “Brocon” “Siscon” fight not this. What the fuck

☆ミ＋。゜H A C K I N G ゜。＋ミ☆

ahaha Ichiro you’re too trusting and pure for your own good

Okay why does all the animation budget go to making Samatoki look hot as fuck?

Ahaha they really do get along like cats and dogs. Jyuto being the voice of reason is kinda weird tho but oh well I can live with it

Tom saying “hai warat~e!” is so cute wtf?????? Lemme pet your head please

GENTARO PICKING UP HIS HAKAMA TO RUN IS ADOARBLE HELP ME

Im getting second hand embarrassment from Ramuda lmao

Slightly suspicious about how these group of reporters know the underground layout of Chuuoku so well

Oh well see I was right to be suspicious

That Unit name is really funny considering the whole Galatic Federation thing ahahaha

Oh that english! that was super clean and enunciated really well

Good intentions, bad execution. His reasoning is a bit flawed but its at least sound

hmmm usually I’d be happy about Doppo giving Hifumi his jacket but in this context not so much. See, Doppo gave it to Hifumi mostly because they had to fight, not because there were woman (which let me remind you Hifumi is deathly afraid of and the jacket acts as a wall between him and his gynophobia)

...... uh Interesting choices of microphones for Secret Aliens. Tom’s is a recording studio mic which makes some??? but not much sense. like Tom is a street photographer, not a radio host. Iris’s mic is.... I’m sorry what is that? Some sort of keyboard and.... something. idk what it is on her finger. And T. Rex just ripped out a purple dinosaur spine, stuck a mic onto the neck and called it a day. Nice

At least their speakers are somewhat better. Iris has Iris plants which. hilarious, but also very modern looking and sleek fitting of her more tech savvy nature as a hacker Theres also phone cameras which makes sense but the butterfly imagery which is present .... Fear.jpg. Rex again just went with a T. Rex Speaker which. Thank you rex for being very predictable, we love you so much. That soundwave looks like DNA too which is cool as hell. Tom.... Idk man Tom are you okay? What exactly is your speaker? are they those aperture umbrella things that photographers use? Im so confused, photographers in the fandom please help

YOOOOOOOOO THAT RAP THOUGH IRIS SOUNDS SO PRETTY?!?!?!? Can she please sing me to sleep? its so smooth and rolling. If I had to describe it, I would say that its the type of voice that I would hope would sing the ballads that I compose, the voice of a mother who still holds on to something after loosing everything she has fought for. 

Too bad Iris doesn’t get a verse to Rap in but holy shit what? Secret Aliens just might become one of my fave divisions based off song alone

Ah theres the cancellers. Thats fun, nice to see that there isn’t an adaptation induced plot hole in this One instance. Lets see if they can patch up the other plot holes created because the anime and source material went into different places

Dice, bad. no cheating. Bad dice

Ahaha there the flash bomb. That high pitch wailing was awful though. please never do that again

Hah, typical Ichijaku. We love it

Oh look at them. Working together. How cute. I really like Rio and Saburo interactions mostly because theres so much potential

Oh noooo i worry for FP

That growl from Ichijaku though. That did things to my heart oh my god

Aww I do like that enthusiasm from Ramuda. I do hope that things turn out at least somewhat okay for him. He’ll probably suffer 

Wait why is Saburo’s left eye purple? Is it the lighting or something else? I hope its just the lighting bc if anything happens to Saburo i will be very very sad (I rewatched the episode and Saburo’s eye is blue all the way up till he gets hit by Secret Alien’s attack. Even in a brightly lit area, it looks purple... i hope it isn’t forshadowing but then again Saburo’s eye has always been a darker shade of blue so it could just be the yellowish lighting since Ichiro’s red eye looks fuchsia)

Ichijaku with an angry face is kinda hot ahaha. Her deep rolling voice of anger just. Ugh very very good. Major props to her VA for pulling it off

IM FUCKING SORRY WHAT

YOU CAN”T LEAVE US ON THAT CLIFF HANGER?!

WHAT THE FUCK

IM GOING TO GO INSANE

THAT WASN’T EVEN SATISFYING?!?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK

KING RECORDS E X P L A I N

I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION

oh there’s a 13th ep

well thank fuck for a 13th ep bc if they ended the season like that i think id actually cry lol

Ugh so I guess that next week will be the last episode. I was so prepared for today to be the last episode but its kinda surprising that they have 13, slightly different from the normal season

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers ! another ask for u : im soo afraid in the next chapter momo will be homophobic towards ht !! I mean except Zzx who seems at ease with his sexuality, the other boys all seem kind of homophobic. Jy called ht repulsive bc he called him pretty while he was a guy, Ht is very agressive in his advances (which i linked to toxic virility which entails homophobia) ; then both of them changed for the better bc of their feelings for another man. 1/?

Good evening, dear anon-san!

“thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers !”

I’m glad you’ve enjoyed them! Every time people send me questions it always makes me happy and to be honest, a bit taken aback because I’m just a little old me. But I’m glad my answers have had such a positive reception and given people food for thought. And it’s always a pleasant surprise when people feel like they can come to my ask box with their interpretations and strike up a conversation.

Homophobia is a very complex topic, and I wondered where I should start to unravel this ask. But soon I realized before I can even begin that I have to take a moment to sort out my own feelings. Whenever people say the boys in 19 Days are abusive or homophobic for whatever reason I tend to get ticked off. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, often sparked by my own bias, but something that can very easily cloud my answer and make it unfair for you. Exchanging interpretations and perspectives requires a level of objectivity and the ability to rise above your own bias. I can’t dismiss something just because it uncomfortably pokes my nerve. Instead, I should take a step back, try and see things from another point of view, and find some common ground.

I’m not saying I had to struggle to agree with you on anything but your ask certainly reminded me of how challenging yet rewarding it is to actually listen to an interpretation that differs from my own and try to objectively look at the story from that point of view. It hurts your brain at first but is surprisingly freeing in the end.

Because you addressed so many things in your ask, I will tie my answer together under the theme of homophobia and give it some structure that way. This will be my great 19 Days - homophobia edition. \(^v^)/

Sexual orientation and environment

Let’s start with the biggest context you brought up in your ask: social and cultural environment. I’m not familiar enough with Chinese culture to have anything definite to say about its attitude towards LGBT people. Of course, I’ve heard of the discrimination and even blatant hate by their government but I don’t have any idea about how ordinary, modern-day Chinese people view others with different sexual orientations. Not to mention, it’s always risky to take fictional works as an accurate representation of the milieu in which they’re set.

But I do think that 19 Days discusses homophobia in societies, though on a more general level. As Jian Yi has come to realize his feelings towards Zhan Zheng Xi, we’ve also gotten glimpses of his struggles. They’re surrounded by other kids in school, and from the very early chapters it’s been implied two guys being that close together or comfortable with that level of skinship turns people’s heads (ch. 53, 54, 55, and 57):

Of course, those panels also poke fun at the stereotype of girls being interested in cute guys being cute together. The girls stare, take pictures, and even smile knowingly. This bothered ZZX because it put him in awkward situations and created misunderstandings that would be embarrassing to correct. And the more he would try to deny and correct them, the more he would probably end up looking suspicious. But the bottom line is, he was increasingly conscious of the weird looks and attention JY’s antics were attracting and didn’t want people to get the wrong picture of his friendship with JY. All of that could give us some hints on how two boys being close might be viewed by their peers, but it should also be kept in mind that those kinds of “gay panic” moments are a big part of the humor you find in 19 Days.

Having a crush on someone of the same gender gets more serious tones after JY kissed ZZX (ch. 142)

The secret was finally out in the open. JY had carried his feelings in his heart for a long time. He had wanted to confess them so many times and often hidden them behind jokes and antics. Perhaps every time he had jumped to hug ZZX he had caught a whiff of his scent and enjoyed the feeling of him in his arms. But to take the definite last step of confessing and lifting that curtain had always terrified him. And who wouldn’t have been scared? Not only would you have to come out but also risk losing your childhood best friend. It could be JY had even thought of never telling ZZX about his feelings because it could go horribly wrong.

For a while, things are somewhat put on pause after the first reveal which I found very realistic. JY wasn’t flat-out rejected but ZZX most definitely needed a moment to sort out his own feelings. He pestered JY to be straight with him (pun not intended...) and made it clear it would be safe for JY to rely on him and free himself of the burden. Despite that JY was still very unsure if his confession won’t result in ZZX abandoning him because “gay” is abnormal and disgusting (ch. 164):

Even when JY finally confessed he was expecting to be rejected in disgust (ch. 209):

But he had sort of reached the point of just finally getting it all out even if ZZX wouldn’t return his feelings. Even if it meant they wouldn’t be friends anymore. At least he had said it. He had heartbreakingly little faith that their kind of relationship wouldn’t be completely doomed. Thank god he had fallen for someone like ZZX. I don’t think I’ve never been as grateful for a character like him before.

A tangible example of how Zhanyi and their environment collided was Xiao Hui’s character (ch. 158):

When she called JY a disgusting gay, it was the first time he was facing that kind of homophobia. Though her actions were frustrating, I think Xiao Hui’s character was a good addition to Zhanyi. At first, she lashed out both because she was hurt and publicly humiliated but also no doubt because she had internalized the idea that heterosexuality was the norm and anything else was abnormal and wrong. Later on, she had had time to lick her wounds and calm down (ch. 258):

She still has a crush on ZZX but even though she probably realizes she doesn’t have a chance she still wants a clear rejection from ZZX. It still hurts and stings but doesn’t upset her as much. It could even be she’s a little happy for them. I think Xiao Hui’s character is a good example that people are capable of changing and reflecting when they’re given a chance. And no one should be forever held accountable and punished for the mistakes they made and have since bettered themselves.

In a broader sense, I think Zhanyi also discusses what kind of future a same-sex couple could have in society (ch. 268):

That drawing on the wall is my favorite Zhanyi moment. As cute as ZZX drawing him and JY together was, it also carries some bittersweet undertones. The original drawing represents the norm: a boy and a girl in love but if there are no skirts involved, it’s a whole other story. To be open about their relationship would most probably never be an option for JY and ZZX. Something as simple as holding hands in public would take courage and threaten to complicate other aspects of their lives (school, work, family). They don’t have the same privilege as straight people to openly and safely share their feelings and have that universal experience.

Your ask was mainly about Mo Guan Shan and He Tian, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about their environment since you also referred to it. And the easiest way for that seemed to be to talk about the progress of Zhanyi. As you suggested, it does seem the society in which all of the characters live is very much heteronormative which puts pressure on the characters to fit in. And if they fail that, they will face homophobia and most probably feel the need to hide their true selves. Case in point, Zhanyi.

Boys being boys

As much as I know that phrase is deemed Problematic™ these days, I think it fits the dynamics of the boys of 19 Days. They mess with each other, and all of that is typical humor for the comic. Personally, I’ve never taken any of their teasing and good-natured bullying seriously because it’s how 15-year-old boys are around each other.

However, I just finished talking about the environment under which influences and discourses the boys have grown up. I don’t feel like I can ignore what I had just been saying and brush it off as “oh well, they’re just boys” if they’ve always been surrounded by certain attitudes. Does that mean the boys have also internalized those attitudes towards gay people despite having feelings for someone of the same sex? Does that make them a representation of toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia?

In all honesty, I’m struggling to answer those questions. On one hand, I do agree that society’s norms of what is masculine put a lot of pressure on boys when growing up. You have to act, talk, dress, and be in a certain way to be accepted, and it doesn’t take a lot for kids to internalize those ideas. And as you said, acting or looking gay (not to mention, actually being one) is probably the worst a young boy could be. Being gay is often linked to everything a proper man shouldn’t be: sissy, effeminate, sensitive, weak, submissive, on the bottom. The list goes on and on.

On the other hand, do I think you can see that in the four main boys of 19 Days? I suppose it’s possible if that’s the direction you want to take. If you look at anything through those lenses, you can probably find toxic masculinity everywhere. Do I think HT, MGS, JY and ZZX are homophobic because they possibly showcase traits of toxic masculinity? I guess. I don’t know. I see where that interpretation comes from, but some part of my brain never manages to make the full connection between those two. I’m constantly having a feeling that my way of thinking differs from your interpretation but I can’t properly validate or argue my opinions.

Perhaps taking a look at the examples you mentioned might help. You talked about JY being homophobic when this was his response to HT calling him good looking (ch. 108):

I can’t exactly deny that panel couldn’t be taken as toxic masculinity. I might even agree with you on that. I wouldn’t probably go as far as saying JY was being homophobic but it does seem like his masculinity was threatened or questioned in that situation. Interestingly, I’ve seen that phrase pop up a lot in yaoi/shounen-ai comics. Characters who are in a gay relationship don’t often feel comfortable with guys complimenting them - or even the guy they’re in love with. I’ve always wondered that. Does that mean there’s a level of self-denial in those characters or is it just a cultural thing? Does it embarrass them?

In general, I think all of that has to do with their age, and another good example of that would be ZZX and JY’s reaction to HT messing with MGS (ch. 289 and 298):

I’ve seen people calling those moments homophobic as well and can’t really agree with them. I would say those reactions have more to do with teenage boys being awkward and embarrassed. HT putting the moves on MGS in front of them is embarrassing and something they don’t wish to see. I mean, I wouldn’t want to see my friends constantly acting like that around me either. Seeing public displays of affection embarrasses me and makes me awkward as hell. (Though, I don’t know if that’s just a Finnish thing...)

In short, I see a lot of how the boys act around each other just natural to how teenage boys are. They mess with each other and standing up for yourself in that sense (for example, getting revenge, being physical, or returning the verbal teasing) is important and typical. That’s how I see JY’s words in the example you mentioned: he felt like HT was messing with him and shot back. All of that could, of course, be seen as internalized toxic masculinity, but I don’t think it’s quite as blatant as people sometimes make it out to be. I’ve always taken it as boys just being boys and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What comes to HT being pushy and overbearing, I don’t see that being connected to toxic masculinity and making him homophobic because of that. It feels a bit of a stretch and shakey. Instead, I actually think HT is quite comfortable with both of his own feelings for MGS and the idea of same-sex relationships in general (ch. 187):

The little heart-to-hearts JY and HT occasionally have also show us that despite often making fun of each other, they can take it more seriously when needed. JY would have never asked about having feelings for another male if he couldn’t trust HT wouldn’t make fun of him.

The case of Mo Guan Shan

You talked a lot about MGS, so I thought I’d take a closer look at his character separately. You made some interesting points I’ve also been thinking about and was glad they popped up in your ask.

Since we’ve talked about toxic masculinity so far, let’s continue on that. You mentioned that MGS is prone to homophobia because he’s had to act tough. Upholding a certain kind of image is essential in gangs. Being weak and submissive - aka gay, as I talked about above - isn’t an option in that line of work.

I agree with you on all of that. Why MGS is so uncomfortable with HT being physical with him is at least partly because he can’t come across as someone who can be taken advantage of (ch. 250):

If he can be physically overpowered and made vulnerable, it means he can be submitted. In the masculine world, physical strength seems to be the final and ultimate law that settles all the disputes at the latest. And if you lose in that you’re on the bottom or at least lower on the hierarchy. Now, multiply that mentality by a lot to fit it in the world of teenage gangs and the borderline criminal underworld. So, yes, I would most definitely say MGS doesn’t want himself to be put in that situation. Much less anyone finding out about it.

Then again, the story has kind of revisited that idea when HT “joined” MGS’s gang and his underlings started seeing HT around more. And they seem somewhere between intimidated by HT and impressed their boss has managed to make someone like HT call him “brother”. That fits the same mentality of strength, but I can’t honestly see Buzzcut or other members of the gang giving MGS a hard time even if they found out about HT’s affections. Chances are, they would be even more impressed, bless them.

Overall, I think MGS lashing out (or being homophobic) is mostly due to him not trusting HT and HT slowly but surely wearing him out and making him see his own prejudice against people like HT. Yelling out insults has been the easiest way to fight HT’s affections, although it’s not proven very successful. It’s also important to remember MGS is fairly inexperienced when it comes to love and romantic affection (ch. 222):

He’s always been rejected and discriminated by his peers and over the years, he’s started to mirror that behavior and push people away. Having crushes (let alone having a girlfriend) has never really been a concern for him. And it’s not like he’s had time for something like romance anyway because working has taken so much of his time. In this regard, MGS isn’t that mature or experienced and tends to get uncomfortable and lash out very quickly.

I’ve already talked about the note and what kind of role I think it will have (if it will be addressed at all). And I’m not really worried about MGS saying something homophobic to HT. I think we’re way past of him being like “I don’t speak to a homo” at this point already. He’s been aware of HT’s affections for a good while by now and even tentatively warmed up to some of it (for example, the aquarium date and the studs). (Even though, I think it’s still too early to talk about MGS being in love with HT.)

MGS has come a long way, and I might even say he’s gained some sexuality-related maturity on the way. Slowly but surely, he’s become comfortable with having HT around, and if after all this development he would say something like that, it would be a pretty big step backward. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t throw insults and lash out but let’s not forget we’re talking about a purebred tsundere here. That’s always going to happen with him.

And while we’re keeping it real, it’s not like HT would pay any mind to those insults. After MGS asked for the studs, I think HT’s resolve has only strengthened.

I hope this answer makes some sense, to me it feels like a bit of a mess of this and that. A lof of “I can’t deny that but still...” You really threw some hard questions and challenged my thinking a lot. Thank you!

[asamlambung]

Gush about your fave DR character! ♡

WVJHKHKHKHK anon whoever you are please know that youre unleashing a beast but also thank you im….. 

(actually i made a tierlist for this though it might not be as accurate since it was a few months ago)

(also sorry for the characters that are in the lower tiers i swear even if i don’t like them most of them are still good memes. and the ones in “c” and “b” i’d definitely like more if there’s some good art/fics that explore their characters better though i might not actively look for it.)

OK so just to preface i havent seen most free times and most of my impression came from joseph anderson’s playthrough sooo i might be biased but im definitely planning on rewatching at least v3 in its entirety with all of its ftesO i guess it’s best if i start chronological and lemme just say. SAKURA OOGAMI IS BEST GIRL

it’s easy to say that im weak for big stronk gal who can lift me easily. and there is /definitely/ that point.

this is gonna sound weird but i really like the level-headedness she brings to the trials. i wouldnt say she’s the smartest but she rounds up the whole cast in a way that keeps the trials from being too absurd and non-sensical. there are other characters that also do this but seeing it come from her makes me happy somehow? maybe it’s because she also balances asahina in that sense and also that she’s the fourth trial stronk person who’s the most level headed compared to gonta and nekomaru. not saying those two are bad either, they’re great characters in their own right but i feel like their function is more on the side of entertaining rather than weighing in on the discussion. i especially think nekomaru’s whole thing with shitting is funny and it’s kinda a shame that sdr2 cut him from trials starting from the third.

speaking of sakura, yes i ship her with hina. no, duh. they’re good together. but i was also kinda touched when she talked about kenshiro. idk, sakura has two strong beefy hands and she can hold her girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time ok.(pretty sure kenshiro appears in udg but i havent experienced that game outside of seeing a few cutscenes so i wouldnt know)

also the fact that we get a callback to her in the strawberry house was. idk if i should say cool or if it was funny but it was something. and yep, her death was the saddest out of the fourth trials the games had. nekomaru’s death was more respectful for me and i felt more sad about gonta during his trial than his death. it’s more gruesome than sad, to be honest.(and ok the smoothskin joe gives to sakura is also kinda funny)

with other dr1 characters i like most of them are usually because of my friends’ (who got into dr years before i did) influence like kyoko and celeste. there are some others i laugh at but it’s more because of the inside jokes of the streamer i was watching.

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ok so with sdr2 komaeda is easily one of the top. but tbh the reason why it is is bc a few years ago i read this (illegally distributed) doujin that had written his character really well. tbh i feel kinda bad now knowing that the doujinka stopped circulating their doujin bc of that and some of the subject matter of their doujin is… a bit too much for me. but the ones that are good are really good and when i came into canon i was like, “oh, this is the fingers in ass guy who got memed to death" nowadays, i see him more as pickle nagito though. i am interested in seeing how his character can be… well, not redeemed but i want to see him heal. whiiich might never happen in canon bc his hope bagel personality is too infamous now.

also i know everyone hcs nagito’s voice as smth along the lines of nico’s voice or john’s voice but like consider jph’s stoner voice. please. it’s so fucking funny with the fucking pickle komaeda meme. maybe it’s bc although im not obsessed with hope or despair, i related to his way of seeing karma. 

after experiencing sdr2 thoough, lemme just say that johnny yong bosch did a great job voicing hajimmy hinata. like im not even kidding i really like that voice and if i was ursula i would steal that voice for my own use. buutt i cant do that. unlike komaeda, i’m pretty indifferent to his character arc and enjoy his one on one interactions with the characters more and how he reacts to the immediate events that happened over the course of sdr2.

soo yeah komaeda and hinata are literally opposites in my head, ain’t much of a surprise that i ship them i guess. but!! i like a lot of the gals in sdr2 surprisingly.

like, ok. maybe i’m biased but the designs for the gals in sdr2 are so goddamn adorable. like okay there’s the obvious ones like chiaki and sonia. and i don’t know why sonia’s personality is so goddamn adorable. like not in the “awww you’re so fucking uwu” type of way but more in the sense that she’s funny? it feels like even through all her weirdness that she still manages to make genuine connections with the characters.

with peko, it’s hard to dislike her considering her whole arc with the second trial. of course liking her goes in hand with liking fuyuhiko’s character too but i just like.. how stoic she sounds??? it’s adorable????? and with mikan yeah she kinda went… off in the third trial but consider???? her voice when she snaps was so goddamn hot?????????????? sdr2 has the best voice acting cant change my mind.

and i don’t know why, gundham is so goddamn funny and if i wanna show how absurd sdr2 can get i show my friends gundham’s scenes. he’s fucking funny, ok. and alongside nekomaru i can respect his death in a way. i goddamn saluted when i first watched his execution (with the full context of the trial) because i just really liked the conviction he carried with his murder.

.

aand with v3…

miu’s one of the funniest character ever!! i swear. i know some people look at the sex jokes and go, “ugh” but im a manchild so i ended up enjoying her moments so much. though i’m kinda a bit meh on the fanservice side, i like how she’s one of the characters who sticks out more. in my language we call her “pentolan” i guess.

tenko’s kinda an easy character for me to like considering… stronk lady. would love for her to carry me. the misandry can get a bit too much but she’s also a pretty funny and genuine character on top of that so she came out with me liking her.

kaede and tsumugi are characters i grew to /love/ after i thought about them a lot.

with kaede, the point i started to relate to her… was with her thirst with girls. i swear im not joking. but. okay. i like her position as the protag and all her ideals. one thing i was surprised that didn’t manage to make me relate to her was her passion for piano considering i’ve also studied it for like, around 12 years. maybe it’s because i kinda fell out of it around 2 years ago because reasons. despite of that though, i like how assertive she was in her time as the protag. and her execution was goddamn beautiful.

tsumugi, though, i wouldn’t grow to love as much if it weren’t for 郁十‘s works. like. please. go watch all of their videos it’s all so good. i think someone else talked about this, but tsumugi’s position as the mastermind feels a lot more “human” than what we got with junko enoshima. compared to kaede, i feel like we could’ve gotten so much more with her as a villain and i just want to see more of her outside of her “plain bread” facade.

it might also be due to my own hcs for them so they’re on my head a lot more than most of the other v3 characters are. even more than my two actual favorites!!

ok, ok. kochiki and shuichi are definitely my favorites of the bunch. like, the toppest tiers of fav actually. it’s kinda hard to talk about these two separately tbh. maybe it’s because before danganronpa, my previous otp in my previous fandom had these two’s dynamics as well. and like, there’s a certain pairing to a fandom i haven’t caught up to in years who also have a detective/phantom thief dynamic. aaand also persona 5 and that one pairing that i don’t have to name for people to know which is my otp.

yeah i’m a sucker for these types of characters. it’s kinda typical that they’d be popular in the fandom. which i’ll  h a p p i l y  eat up.

soo it’s kinda easy to start with kochiki. i think i don’t have to go into every minute detail and go all meta on why i like him as a character because a lot of people have articulated better on why his character works. he’s fun to watch when interacting with other characters and figuring out his motivation put my brain on work. i’ll say this though, i actually enjoy kokichi better when he’s not being woobified. he’s a rat through and through and i will enjoy this possum boi for that.

(oh wait, possum boi is rantaro. nvm.)

and now mr. detective himself. so i loved his character at first. didn’t love him more than kochiki but. liked his arc, he was a fun protag. then the fan content came and he became very moe in my eyes so i guess it’s easier to say that i uh, like fancontent of shuichi better but i like canon kokichi better. and also how is it that the majority of ousai e-rated works has shuichi as a top SHUICHI IS NOT A TOP um yeah anyway. i feel like out of all the main characters he’d be a pretty nice person to hang out with.

also his eyelashes are nice. im totally not embarrassed while typing this out. im literally physically restraining myself from typing out more so i can not embarrass myself even further.

.

okay congrats anon here you are i hope you enjoyed this embarrassing mess it took me more than a day to type this out because i don’t know where i should stop myself regarding some characters. but uh yeah. i have gushed. now i shall return to the abyss.

(unless anybody asks me to gush about my ocs which might actually be thrice as long as this)

[gg-astrology]

i love your blog! can you do a cap sun aqua moon for the sun moon placements?

Thank u so much!! 💕💕💕 I’m glad I got this request cause its the last of the Cap combos skdjnfkjsnk im so proud and excited! 💕

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Aquarius Moon 🥊]

Capricorn/Aquarius combo can be rather playful, might have lots of friends and enjoys mental stimulation from others (parrying)

It’s not all serious honestly-- on the outside, you have these combos who rather enjoys humour and being comfortable with laying it down thickly on others too (it’s good when you ‘sense’ them out and they can ‘take’ something a lil more unconventional-- your particular ‘niche’ brand of humour. You like surprising people, but you like chemistry/the way they parry back even more. A rhythm to your game is what you’re after, someone who can meet you toe to toe) 

You like people who are odd, a little different from you and can talk about their independency/experience when you get together. You like learning, about others because it expands your mind (Aquarius) and that’s good for you because you genuinely enjoy the company of those around you and appreciate them ( ‘good for you buddy, im happy/proud of you!’) 

While on the outside you may also be a practical, very very deeply considerate and thoughtful/caring person (the kind of person who-- if was in a horror movie-- would get their head together and be the one that Makes the Most Sense). On the inside you revel in your Chaos (Chaotic Nature)

There’s a reason Capricorn is associated to the devil, and no it’s because they are the devil--- it’s because you have this rebellious nature about you that’s lurking on the inside. Seeking to know, to find out, to question the norm/tradition. Everything can be changed ‘for the better’-- and with you, you have an understanding/appreciation of traditional modes already (Capricorn) thus why you’re breaking the system from the inside out. Or rather, you use your ingeniously to help smoothen the glide for others to see things from your perspective, that not eveything they’ve learnt/taken/been told is true and that there’s leaks in every ‘formula’ that people follow blindly. 

Even when above the surface, you are cool and collected as a cucumber (cutecumber-- you like to ‘keep appearance’ so you can be devilish/do your plotting inside) Underneath all that is a competitive spirit, especially when it comes to debates. 

If the venue allows you to exert yourself (physically/mentally) within a context that is structured/stabilized (established) and you can have a certain amount of freedom/expression of passion ---wow you really go in for it

Capricorn/Aquarius are intelligent, charismatic and isn’t afraid to be bold. Most of the time they aren’t even aware they’re being bold, they’re just following their own paths-- just like how everyone should follow their own, y know?

It’s stress relieving for you, to exert yourself into something. Throw yourself in and just ‘get it right’ -- when you’re demonstrative, you have power. And with that power comes confidence (other people see it as you being level-headed/critical) 

You might not realize it, but when you do something you get tunnel visioned into it a lot. And other people can see that and be attracted to your passionate nature ( a very classic, uniformed/looks good in official kind of nature) 

You’re often unaware of your own attractiveness or why people think you’re good, mostly you’re just doing it for you. And that’s all that you’re doing, sometimes you’re--- cynical, of people coming towards you wanting a light-hearted something. You need an explanation, a 10 pages essay outlining exactly what it is about you that people like. Although you know full well you attract people to you (might like the attention it brings, the importance/significance it gives to your ego-- which is healthy and valid, and not narcissistic or bad don’t worry, it’s important to feel appreciated and desired for everyone. )

Whilst we talk about all that, it jus means that you work hard and you don’t like to think yourself of ever stopping. Stopping means you become a ‘fixed’ motion-- and with that, you don’t know how to ‘start’ again.

Capricorn cardinal nature combine with Aquarius gives you two things--- you either workaholic it out or you stop and then take soo looong to start on something again. Because you’re careful, thorough, and want to know everything it entails before you start on it.

You want your passion to last, you don’t want to stop half way. You absolutely won’t stand for half-assery. And being incompetent in anyway is jus-- not up to par/unacceptable for you.

This is your ethic, both just outside and also your worth ethic. You’re a hard-worker, always focused on more/different/things you can grind and focus yourself in (there’s a bit of anxious/nervous energy in you if you don’t put yourself to work)

Your biggest ‘ugh’ moment is when you don’t have everything ‘prepared/ready’ -- especially if it ‘runs out halfway through’ -- you hate discarding things halfway. 

Wastefulness of time/energy/resource or expecting you to ‘come back and finish’ something with the same enthusiasm is now up to your mood/whether you have something new to add or not now.

There’s an element to you that can be quite?? Moody?? even though you’re emotionally consistent. It’s like feeling wise, you’re mostly just objective and detached sometimes (even though you’re fun-loving and caring towards others). You can get through things quickly, work efficiently. But if someone expects you to know how to be emotionally sensitive/flexible then you’re completely lost on that cue.

You can sometimes be completely oblivious to other people’s wants/needs from you, especially if it’s like-- emotionality. When someone needs/wants something you expect them to say it out-loud/directly, so when it’s hidden from you. And is expected to come from delicacy/tactfulness you’re like ‘um...what was I supposed to do?’

You like to be taught if you don’t know things, and you don’t understand how everyone else knows it intuitively. In a way, your intuition is crap when it comes to navigating the social realm (personal -- take note from Cancer/Leo). You mostly have your suspicion and critical/cynical nature that adds to your analytical skills. 

Learn how to ride a flow, a wave. Instead of sitting on the beach/stable ground all the time. You’ll have to get more in touch with your intuition, stops some part of your brain from over-working itself and making you stand at an ‘impass’ until you’re ‘ready’ to embark on a journey again.

Your overly thorough nature with how you approach/prepare for things makes you someone who skirts around a subject to ‘study’ it until you’re ready to ‘work on it/demonstrate/get into it’

Your motions (as mentioned before) are either ‘working’ (without thinking) or thinking too much (without working) -- no inbetweens.

Kinda short but sweet? 💕 I hope you enjoy it!! 💕💕

[veratnetherstriker]

A little appreciation and criticism about the Scps

Im a huge fan of the SCP fundation and all the people who made them, i just love the way they are writen and the originalaty behind such ideas, but lets be honest, no one is perfect. Soo, im just going to do a little recopilation of a few of the most popular Scps of all time and the reasons why i like them and how i think they could (if they should) improve. This will be just my personal opinion, and in any way it should be taken as the one true of the universe(like i said, no one is perfect). Plus, my main lenguage isnt the english but i know that this way this will reach to more people, soo sorry for all the gramatical errors from the starts. 

That said, lets dive in this terrorific, yet beatifull, world: 

Who else should start this list right? Good old ‘’fetus statue’’ (name copyrighted by my ex) is a classic at this time, the one that started all, the first the most of us saw for the first time, and the one that make the bases for what was to come. And is a pretry good start. 173, a creepy af statue that dost move until nobody is watching him, but when he do, someones dies. An idea soo good that im really surprise nobody in hollywood ripped off yet. An amazing example of creativity and creepynes alike, the only fault i could find him is the way right now he is everywhere and, kind of slendy in the past, that ruin part of the charm of a creepy internet story. But that is not his fault, and more something that is destined to happen with all popular monsters. We love you fucking 173, never change you fucking weirdo.

9/10

106, AKA radical larry for the pals. Tell my if this asshole never give you chills in any of the games?? His capacity of rust everything (even your body)  and his inhuman, sadistic motives of ‘’prey humans for fun’’ make him the closest SCP has ever get to a hollywood horror movie creation, but even for that standar he is particullary creepy and original, both in how to kill you (the first time in the pocket dimension in CB is a wonderfull yet terrible experience) and why to kill you. Because he is an asshole, that is why he is going to kill you. Good luck asuming that. 

8/10

The people who are just entering the world of SCP should be very cofunsed right now. ‘’A stair? why is a stair an scp?’’. But the people who know this thing, and the things that live in him (her? it?) know why im talking about it (him? her?). The idea of a never ending stair that just get creeepier with every step you make, amazing. And the creatures that lurk in it dont help. That said, i do find him a little limited in the ways this story could scare you. With 106 we have a full fan of posibilities to scare , and with 173 a constant tension, here you have to start decending into the stair(it then) and that do seem a little forced.  

7/10

Aaaaaah 049... you are a miracle that could only happen in the SCP community. Our good doctor could soo easily become a basic self insertion gary stu, both for being humanoid(we all know is a common problem with this tipe of character) and for the edgy  medieval style of clothes, but nope, he is just a weird, disturbing, cool character with original ideas behind like every good scp should be. His only problems (besides every fangirl trying to bang him or taking him as a jeff the killer wannabe) is maybe his unnoriginal result (zombie people are kind of overused nowdays) but still his fight against ‘’the disase’’ together with his misterius and cool aparence make a good example of how to make a good humanoid scp.

7/10

...and for the exact contrary we have this idiot. Cool blades made of darkness, demonic tatoos, an unstopable capacity for killing even when he has no reason to have that inhuman strengh, forced religious context just for the sake of cool. My god, i know this may offend some fans but this guy is bad guys. I mean, really bad. He has no build up, no fear or paranormal factor beside the ‘’im soo cool they have to make me an scp’’ and the blades things (wich falls in the ‘’cool’’ stuff too). And yet he is one of the ‘’fanarted’’ (copyrighted by my this time) Scps ever. Why? Well for the same reason jeff the killer ended with most popularaty than slenderman even when Slendy is far better as a character and story. Because he is hot, easily identificable as an self insert fantasy for the edgy boys back in the 2000s, has a looooot of ‘’cool’’ stuff that atract fanboys(and girls) and soo darn cool isnt he?

Put him in line with the others until now and the ones to come and tell me if you dont give everyone else a cool yet creepy horror music, and then give this asshole a linkin park theme. He is that bad. (I love LP btw but you understand)

Im not saying that humanoid SCPs are bad per se(see 049 above), but Able is the perfect example of how you NOT make one. You dont give him like 5 superpowers together at once. You dont make him look like a generic antihero from a shonnen. You dont make him have ‘’cool’’ stuff just for the sake of him being cool. The only reasons why he is here is for : A- serve as a  good example of how to NOT make humanoids scps, B-  comparing to good humanods scps despise his fame, and C- give some credit to the person that change him. Yes, he used to be worse, and someone(not sure if was the original author) rewrite him to be more a ‘’xmen that got mad’’ and less a ‘’Generic Sasuke Uchiha who is soo cool they had to cointan him.’’ D- I have to show at least 1 bad Scp. 

3/10 (and just for the rewrite)

We pass from a character boring as a machine to a litteral machine far more interesting. 079 is the perfect scp objetivly speaking for me. He have all the things wich make scp fundation works. He is disturbing, yet sad. He is a monster, yet has some form of humanity that make us feel sorry for him, yet fear him notheless. We want him to get free but we fear what he could do being free. We know he isnt human yet we identify with him somehow(good identification, not Able tipy identification). Complex, well writen and good background, 079 could not be one of the most popular, yet he is perfect as an scp. The idea is disturbing and its done wonderfully. Also, he is the closest we get to a villain in CB, and is extraordinary good at that. This CPU, is an awesome SCP.

10/10

But not every SCP has to be disturbing in all his existence, there can be scps that are not scary in theory but still interesting a good writing. Our little reptile lover loli killing machine here its a good example of it. Much like 079, he is a good example of an scp that we want to get free, and we are sorry for her, but we know that is better this way (to an extreme). 053, the little girl, a young child who can (and will) kill you without even notice, but dont do it of evil, sadism, need or as a medium for an end, just because that is her nature and she cant do anything about it. You know is bad when a monster like 682 feel sorry for her. Maybe his only faults are the desing , wich is kind of generic, but its ok to have a normal human once in a while for me. Very good scp.

8/10

And speaking of the devil, to end the list we have the hard to destroy reptile himself, 682. I always love villains like nuraryhion from Gantz, beings that could adapt to anything and eevolve in an instant to adapt to the situation, soo 682 inmediatly become one (if not the one) of my favorites. His abilitys and the danger he represents are just amazing and well writien and is one of the most developed SCPS thanks to all the trys to kill him. His interactions with 079 and 053 are one of the best, and his fights with 173 and 096(kind of forget of him for this list, maybe in an hipotetical next?) are very interestings, not to mention all the reactions to others scps. His rol in CB also give him points, being the one that cause most of the destruction in the fundation and the principal reason why the nuclear warhead are lauched. I would watch the hell out of a series with him as a villain, thank you very much. 

9/10

Scps are wonderfull when done well, and i think that i show a lot good examples of this. It isnt my idea to hurt anyone feelings, just express myself in a little critisism and appreciation, and i really hope this help someone who write or is considering to write one. And like its obvius, this is just my personal opinion. This monsters are more than just generics creepypastas, they are something else completly and should be trated like that. I strongly recomend the series ‘’Sedition’’ made by tasstops or the ‘’Confinement’’ animated series made by Lord Bung if you want to see more of them and see for yourself what i meant, both awesome works make by awesome artists. 

Hope you all enjoyed, and wait for your criticism about my criticism

[crystu-cii]

Thank you!! I had a lot of schoolwork so that's why I was so busy(cough and I definitely did all of it and didn't leave any of it for today since I stayed up til five am being productive, most definitely. Yep.) 💕💕

Moodd-- XDD

Oh wow-- okay but that reminds me of something- I've heard of adults taking on a "worksona" to get things done so you?? Basically did that?? You took on a persona that caused people to take you more seriously! I don't think it's cringey at all, it's actually super cool!! Especially taking on the attitude/mindset of a character? That's so interesting and neat!!

See that's ALSO cool, and evidence of it having a desired effect :3c

OOOOH-- me too tbh- or like a video game protag? But if I were a video game or anime protag, I'd better have or recieve animal ears XDD MAKE IT FUN AT LEAST XD

OMS XDD That's p h e n o m e n a l -

!!! ;w; aww I see what you mean- damn you're getting rhcb on your dash? Why am I not getting rhcb?? XD NOOO YOUR BLOG ISNT BORING-- I love it with all my heart and I think it's great, and even though breakfast seemed a little long that's cause transitioning is difficult and stuff, so that's okay :3

WAIT THAT'S SO SMART CRYS.... YOURE SO SMART WH??? YOUR INTELLIGENCE CLEARLY SURPASSES MINE-- XDD

Ahhh I wish I had an au ;w; but I d o n t, and I definitely don't have an ellie-centered one ;w; I really want to make an ask blog I'm just like- ah- no thoughts, head empty-

Also dw advice is g r e a t l y appreciated!! ✨💖💕💞❤️

omg same- i have a crap ton of work that i can literally do NOW and get it over with but im like "NAHHHHHHH" xD but i at least did some work of it- even tho im sure its not even good but its my teacher's fault for saying "something is better than nothing" a whole dam lot XDD

and ohHHH that might be what it is- yeah ! thinking back on it i also do find it hella cool- i was able to be the teacher's pet for some of my classes xD- but then if any of my classmates see me during lunch time i would be here loud ASFFF and also saying the weirdest nonsense ever- omg i can ramble about how cool school was WITHOUT the work yknow? like all the events- friends- and ALL that is awesome xDD and also thanks for thinking its neat! i kinda had fun messing around with people- god i feel kinda mean- XDDD

and HELL YEAH GIVE ME ANIMAL EARS GOD-- XDD omg whats funny is that i am in LOVEE with animal headbands- headbands are literally my comfort item at this point- when i go outside without one- i just dont feel the same xD one time at christmas my bro gave me a cat headband that has switch so it lights up- and i was OBSESSSED with it that i wore it literally everyday at school- and OMG YKNOW WHATS FUNNY: thats how people know who i am- because of my headbands- which is actually convenient cause NO ONE KNOWS MY NAME- like they would know me as a smart girl but they would have no clue who tf i am (because i am soooo not social in school xD)

and cause i wear the same headband everyday- people have kinda known me for it- and kinda just started calling me "cat girl" or "cat ears" or SMTH along with cat in it- it was funny XDD but also my brain tells me "people call you this because thats what happens when you dont have many friends-" and im like "yeAh i KNOW-" xD but after like a semester i stopped wearing the cat headband cause got new headbands! they are like pom poms! i had white ones and the other headband is black ones- i switch between them usually to match my outfit or how im feeling today xD

and AS YOU KNOW IT- i got crazy nicknames- and little did i know it WAS WAYY FUNNIER than with the cat headband- omg- i can list you all the things i remember:

"snowballs" "fuzzy ears" "white/black fuzz" "RABBIT TAIL EARS-" (THAT one was what my teacher called me before knowing my name and my friend witnessed it- in fact i got the audio recorded xD) and also names something along the line of "bear ears" or smth- gosh it went wild- i felt popular xD i would also have friends that would softly bap on of my pom poms just for the sake of messing with me- xDDD

but anyways- with rhcb OH BOY OH BOY- YOU SHOULD SEE THE HENRY STICKMIN CHARACTER TAGS ON INSTAGRAM- the cat ears on characters was WIILLLDDD- there were also so many neko reginalds and shit it was crazy but awesome xDDD

and yeah the breakfast arc i felt like it was the oppurtunity for the triple threat themselves to answer lotta questions- kinda a filler arc- but thank GOD the questions i got now were just boring- or it would be better for the toppats to answer- youd never know! and yknow what- ill just say it now- yknow how henry doesnt know all that much of stickcats? yeah- but guess what- reginald knows a whole lot more ( or well- supposed to) so i wished the people viewed it as reginald the master of knowing stickcats- i even thought of a spinoff comic series where when someone asks a good question about stickcats- it would trigger a class lesson as a jokey concept XDD with sensei reggie! BAHHAA sadly i think i, as the mod, already answered a lot of those questions- so sadly it might not become a thing xD

and YESSS I FELT BIG BRAIN FOR IT- and i think sending myself questions was what made the blog spread easily- cause when you make a blog- its going to be hard for someone to ask you questions first- especially since your post will takes days til it finally shows up on the tags- so may as well make your own questions! at first- i created the blog on my phone- and sadly on my phone it wouldnt let me ask my own blog( but i didnt know you CAN send yourself asks just by going on a computer or laptop- xD) so i yelled at two of my friends like "HRYHEYEHYEHEY THIS IS SOO OUT OF CONTEXT BUT CAN YOU GO ON TUMBLR FOR ME-" XDD and those two friends were the first asks of the whole blog! when henry woke up! (this is all- what i call- a pro gamer move-- /hj XDD)

and awhhh- i feel that- i literally also have the power to make an very suspenseful story with an interesting au- but what i decide to do? "HEY- WHAT IF WE ADD CAT EARS AND TAILS ON STICKFIGURES- " and what i tell myself? "OH- GENIUS- gonna start a whole ass blog-" XDDD but ALL of my AUs are just comfort AUs- i wrote stories of three of them(if you count the stickcat au) while the rest i just daydream- xD i could list them in the next post if you are somehow interested XDD

and thank gosh! i hope what i say would be considered advice- even though im just stating what i do and all xD but thank you!!! 💞💞❤️😭❤️❤️😭💞

[someobscurereference]

hey so i love your fe stuff! its soo good! but ive noticed that most of it is either gen or takes place after the relationships have gotten together (which is fine, i love that) but it did make me curious if youd be willing to share some of your headcanons (for odin/niles/leo, camilla/beruka/selena, and xander/laslow) for how they got together/developed feelings for one another? im very curious about your take on it bc i love your characterization! thank u so much for writing such beautiful fics

Aww, thank you, anon!! FE13/14 isn’t as popular as it probably once was and I definitely joined the writing fic for it part of the fandom pretty late, so I’m so pleased to hear that you enjoy my fics! Thank you!!

Secondly, anon….This is gonna be mega long and I hope you’re prepared for that, lmao (Also if you had any other questions or anything, don’t be afraid to send another ask!)

I don’t know if I have any “set in stone” headcanons for how any of these three pairs get together because I’m a multishipper who loves AUs, but if we’re talking about canon FE14 universe, I definitely have some thoughts as to how that’s going to go.

I’m gonna blabble a lot now

Odin/Niles/Leo

I actually feel like Odin would have the easiest time accepting dating people anyone, even if they’re a prince or a coworker or two people at once or he feels he has to travel to another dimension in a few years.

Like, he’s very? Pragmatic? Not necessarily 24/7 (because he loves to tell tales and exaggerate and roleplay) but Big Decisions. Like in Hidden Truths DLC, when Laslow and Selena are questioning where they should go when it’s time to leave Nohr–their home dimension with their family’s graves or to return to the world where their parents are still alive–iirc, Odin is the first one to say “We can worry about this later, we just have to deal with this now.” It’s not that he doesn’t care as much, because he super does, but I think he like? Compartmentalizes a little more? In the FE13 Future Past DLC, when he and Inigo are stuck on one side of the bridge and Brady and Yarne are on the other, Owain talks through what’s going to happen if they try to cross the bridge until he gets to the conclusion, “If you go and I stay behind, the most people in this scenario live and we still succeed, even if that means my death.” When Inigo cuts the brige with both of them on one side, Owain says, “We don’t both have to die!” Now part of this is Owain/Odin’s dramatic personality and the (probably unhealthy) self-sacrificing tendencies he almost certainly had during his years before jumping through time and even some time after, even Inigo acknowledges that Owain’s plan was probably the best way to get the gemstone to Ylisse (though not the best plan for Owain’s life.) He’s also the one who adjusts most to living in Nohr, by which I mean his homesickness and memories of Ylisse seem to weigh on him the least. While he admits to Selena in their Supports that he also is unable to sleep at night from his memories, Selena and Laslow’s Supports with him are more about their problems with missing home and he has become a kind of shoulder to lean on between the three of them.

Anyway all of this is basically evidence to say that Odin is pretty reasonable and levelheaded when not indulging in his imagination (which was almost definitely a coping mechanism of some kind in his younger years, though it may have become a bit more of an innocent hobby by the time he’s in Nohr… though I don’t want this to get dark, OTL)

ANYWAY! I think Odin is has the easiest time adjusting between all three of the Time Travel Trio, but I don’t know if he’s necessarily the one to make the first move in anything? If anything, it would have to be all three make a move at the same time (through some circumstance) or Niles/Leo get together first (even though Niles thinks his purpose in life is to “serve” Leo until he dies via their Supports and Leo probably wouldn’t want to put anyone in a weird position considering his status). I’ve written past stuff where Odin gets confident and does something bold like sit in Laslow’s lap and kiss him while Laslow bemoans never having a first kiss, and while I think Odin could catch onto moves being made on him and be down for it, I don’t think he’d be as likely to do something as bold as that for Niles/Leo like he would for someone he’s known years and years, like Laslow or Selena.

The thing about Niles is that… Idk, I don’t think he views himself as garbage? (Unless there’s a support I don’t remember.) But he definitely thinks of himself as “lower” than Leo, who he views as having saved his life and literally is the start to “good” memories in Nile’s mind. I’m not sure he’d ever make a move on Leo and compromise that relationship he values so highly unless it was something he felt Leo needed or something out of his control. (Like doing something to save Leo’s life and Leo is like “Hey do you have Feelings for me” and Niles, broken out in a cold sweat, hands shaking, answers “I mean Yes, but it doesn’t have to be weird…. unless u want that.” 

For Leo, I don’t think he really thinks about love unless it’s right there in his face. Either because he’s thinking about marriage for political reasons/someone else is getting married or because Niles/Odin is hanging around a lot and he’s like “What is this Feeling, it’s highly inconvenient but I cannot deny it exists”. (Also another thing about him is that he’s probably a little uncomfortable with Nile’s… Pedestal, I guess? For him. Like, he knows Niles values him a lot and vice versa but when Niles is like “You’re the reason my life is good and I will serve you until I Die For You,” Leo is like “I don’t know what to say but I guess ‘Thank you’ is the right response.” So he probably wouldn’t want to take advantage of Nile’s feelings either.)

(The thing about all the Royal Nohrian Sibs is that they are under the watchful eye of Garon for most of their life, and that’s a huge influence on what they are or aren’t willing to do in terms of romance until the Big Slime is no longer an issue for them. So that’s a major factor as well.)

I think Niles and Odin make a great team, but Niles is initially very suspicious when Odin/Selena/Laslow show up out of the blue and even when he trusts Odin later on, he does use that suspicion as a little jab on Odin’s origins in their C-Support when they’re having an annoyed argument. They both apologize to each other later with Odin conceding that Niles was right and his actions weren’t out of line, and while Nile’s is like, “Aw, I shouldn’t have done that, Lord Leo trusts you and that’s enough for me,” the secretiveness of Odin’s past is like. An undercurrent in their relationship on both their parts for a long time. (While meanwhile Leo does not give a single fuck what you did or who you were before you met him so long as he knows what kind of person you are now.)

So with all this I can absolutely see Niles and Leo getting together and Odin being supportive from the sidelines for a Long Time as Niles/Leo either pine a little secretly (maybe separately) or they don’t really realize their own feelings for Odin or the idea all three of them could be a thing until later. (Bc Odin is not gonna intrude on something he feels he shouldn’t and when it’s a better idea not to.) (However, if that opportunity appears and everything is Chill, Odin is absolutely Hell Yeah, down for it.)

(This didn’t really come up anywhere before but? Leo and Odin’s supports?? Are so Much????? Like, Leo doesn’t want to send Odin out on any more “adventures” he used to because according to Leo: “uh that was to be a dick to you and I literally Cannot imagine living without you now because you’re so Valuable to me, so you can’t go on any Mega Dangerous missions, sorry.” He says he wont’ keep Odin from being his own person and leaving Nohr but that he honestly wishes Odin would stay and if he does leave, all the victories afterwards will be a little “bittersweet” without Odin there. Also if Odin does leave, Leo asks that he use his title as Leo’s retainer still so there will always be that “connection” between them. 

Like??? Holy shit??

It was here that Leo struck me as the type of person to want Niles and Odin by his side literally Forever in whatever form that relationship may be, even if nothing romantic ever comes from it.)

Camilla/Beruka/Selena

My girl!! Selena!!! I love her!!!! I’ve probably written the least about Selena (I have like one unfinished Selena/Laslow/Odin fic on my computer and that’s probably it besides maybe a tiny Selena/Noire thing I wrote 2 sentences of and never finished either) but!! I think about her a lot and I love my girl!!

I rambled a lot with Odin/Niles/Leo so to cut to the chase here a bit more, Camilla/Beruka/Selena probably comes from Selena’s need to be validated and prove that she’s the Best. Camilla always reassures Selena that she’s “darling, powerful, and obedient,” which are qualities Camilla values a lot in a retainer. I think Camilla, for all her ruthlessness, also has a lot of love in her heart and so she is a little smitten with Selena (and Beruka) from the start because of these qualities they share. Camilla gets melancholy when she thinks about how Selena might leave her one day and wants Selena to know she is Camilla’s. I don’t think Camilla would ever do or say anything about her feelings while under the watchful eye of Garon because she’s not stupid and she knows what will happen if she tries to get too close to anyone while he’s within reach, but she’s not lying. When she says she loves Selena and Beruka, she really does mean it, even if her meaning gets lost in the context of all the other times she says she loves Corrin and Elise and her other siblings and such. 

(As a side note, Camilla and Selena’s C-Support is so fucking funny to me because Selena is like “hey I’m your favorite, right?” and Camilla is straight up like “I would rather murder you than you leave” and Selena’s like “that’s not….what I wanted you to say…”. Camilla is so fucking Extra??? I love it. Though she’s honestly very scary too, so that element of humor is one I’m taking with grain of salt because Camilla is also truthful in her violence. Their B-Support is similar.)

This same drive to be the Best is what causes Selena and Beruka to butt heads in their C-Support, but they show they understand each other well by calling out each other’s complexities and flaws while arguing. Later, they show they care about each other by apologizing in the B-Support, and it’s shown for all her emotionless attitude, Selena can get Beruka to smile the tiniest bit while supporting her and telling Beruka that she should do the things she loves, even if that thing is work, and that Selena is her friend. (Beruka’s questioning of “Should I really bury myself in my work?” also shows that she took Selena’s earlier words of “What even makes you You if all you do is your work/only do things for money?”. So Selena’s views do impact Beruka.)

I’m rereading their A support right now and?? It’s so sweet? Selena wants to get matching jewelry for all three of them as a symbol of their connection (and for when Selena leaves) and Beruka accepts this, despite Selena requesting she not get something that doubles as a weapon, and also says she wouldn’t wear the matching jewelry if Selena were gone because it would be “lonely” and she’d only wear it if Selena were there so she wouldn’t lose it. Like? They value each other a lot. Beruka indulges Selena in this and by extension says she’s “enjoying” herself as well–something Beruka rarely does at all. 

Beruka is a little more hesitant around Camilla, but that’s likely a response to Camilla being her employer and Beruka placing so much value in her work. It’s a complicated situation for someone who isn’t as casual as Selena or Odin are with their Lord/Lady. Beruka admits she would betray Camilla if offered something better from another employer, but that possibility is so unlikely because she doesn’t think she could find anyone she trusts as much as Camilla. For an assassin, trust is a big deal. Camilla is a huge part of Beruka’s heart even if Beruka doesn’t recognize it the same way someone else might. Camilla, on her part, is pleased but orders Beruka not to throw herself away in the process because Beruka means a lot to her. Their relationship is a bit different than Camilla and Selena’s or Selena and Beruka’s because of their unique dynamic and how seriously Beruka takes herself. Camilla is somewhat less affectionate when alone with Beruka, most likely because it makes Beruka uncomfortable. The affection is still there; Beruka just doesn’t yearn for it as much and so Camilla backs off a bit. Beruka is very truthful about the realities of life–both Beruka’s job and how she’ll probably stick with Camilla forever, even if she doesn’t explicitly say so. They’re good. 

I’m getting off track again, sorry. I love character analysis. ANYWAY!

Camilla/Selena/Beruka would probably get together all at the same time because Camilla wouldn’t want anyone to misunderstand or feel left out (even if Beruka would insist she didn’t feel anything about it, she probably would.) Selena would probably push about being the Best Retainer again and Camilla would say something like, “Oh, but I love you both equally” and pull Beruka and Selena close. Selena would probably grumble something like “but do you really?” or “but who do you love more?” or something, letting a little jealousy take hold. Camilla probably wouldn’t stand for this, both on the basis that she loves them equally and that this has been probably going on for years. 

To be honest, I could see them kind of… falling into it. Like Camilla kissing Selena’s forehead or cheek, leaving a big lipstick mark behind and while Selena sputters, face red and brain reeling, Camilla does the same thing to Beruka.

“Wha–What’s that supposed to mean?” Selena asks, eyes rolling in her head and steam coming from her ears.

“I told you,” Camilla says simply. “You are both my precious, darling retainers.”

Beruka, eyes closed in thought: “Hm.” 

And before anybody can do anything else, Camilla’s like, “okay, chop-chop, we have things to do, people to kill” and they just go about doing their daily jobs and fighting battles. And anytime Selena or even Beruka tries to question it, Camilla’s like, “I told you, I love you both” and kisses their cheek again. Eventually maybe Beruka and Selena talk a little among themselves, but honestly I really see them falling into it after that. Kissing their foreheads every time they separate (never the mouth in the beginning, unless Selena or Beruka initiate because this isn’t supposed to be a pressured thing). Selena and Beruka heading off to their own rooms at night and Camilla telling them they can stay with her if they want. Selena’s a bit rowdy, but I think she’d be content with starting off like this just because it’s Camilla. (She might confront someone if anyone else tried to pull this move.)

(I take most C-A Supports for all party members as having really happened in-game eventually, so this might even be after Beruka’s support with Odin where he tries to help her understand her own emotions through mimicking facial expressions and looking within herself and stuff via lying about magic spells. So Beruka might discover a bit more about herself here too, like “Hmm, is this what love feels like? It must be.” Even though she’d probably been feeling it for a while and not recognizing it.)

Xander/Laslow

The thing about Xander/Laslow is that while Camilla and Leo have varying levels of more freedom between the two of them, Xander is The Crown Prince. He’s the one to take the throne. He has do what’s best for the people, and he’s always going to put Nohr before himself. On the flipside, Laslow is a flirt but he knows how fickle life can be and often laments the fleeting connections between people as they only have a short time in this world (he gets super melancholy in some of his supports; he hides his sadness a lot but it’s there), and I don’t think he’d want to jeopardize his relationship with Xander or put him in a bad position either. Plus, he’s super-duper homesick, so he wouldn’t want to start anything he felt he couldn’t finish either. 

I really think there’d have to be a big catalyst for their relationship to begin. One of two things probably has to happen.

1. Something really relieves Xander of his pressures as King and makes him relaxed enough to maybe request a kiss or courtship from Laslow one day, if/when Laslow ever feels he wants it, no pressure (though I don’t know what this event would be; Xander feels LOT of responsibility. Duty chains him more than anything. Even if he feels mentally exhausted by everything and restraining his feelings on top of that, he’s always going to be stuck unless something forces him to move or slackens that grip.) (Laslow, in turn, is also chained by what he feels is his obligation and memories to return to Ylisse some day, so he’s stuck a bit too.)

2. Like in Home (Is Where The Heart Is) (spoilers), Xander realizes if he doesn’t do something, he will lose Laslow forever In This Moment, Right Now and (as this is a huge fear) Goes For It via Kiss of Life or pouring his feelings out. (I really think Xander is the type of person to make huge declarations of devotion and love while Laslow melts into a huge blushing puddle in the corner while crying from being overwhelmed.) 

They would mutually pine. A Lot.

I’ve written a lot less for them but I’ve written so much already and I think at least one of these two events are really the needed qualifications for a Xander/Laslow relationship to happen in canon universe. (There are other AUs on ao3 that are super good and probably do a better job of imagination than I will here, so :p)

All three relationships probably have an undercurrent of Devotion For My Lord/Lady because they are all retainers/royals first and foremost and jobs come first, but that’s an interesting dynamic to work around in itself. 

Even if were only friendship between them all, I really like how Odin/Selena/Laslow are so willing to say, “MY Lord/Lady is the best one!” (I’m mostly thinking of the Beach DLC where everyone fought for that beach trip, whether or not their Lord/Lady wanted it.) They love the Royal Nohrians so much, no matter the context. 

(RIP Me, this is super long and I just spent the last 2 hours writing it. If there was anything you wanted me to expand on, let me know! I’m a blabber mouth.)

[haeroniel-doliet]

soo who thinks i should post my art portfolio onto instagram? that being my ib hl art portfolio i did for grading a year ago?

 its special to me bc tho most pages were done over 2-3 weeks bc im the worst kinda procrastinator, i did dedicate a lot of thought to most of those pages and love em. i do enjoy showing off the book to guests but, maybe i should make a thing of it on instagram? bc im posting a lot more on instagram to comemmorate shit ive done and keep a record of it that people i know and trust can wonder through to get a glimpse into my life (esp more recent life) through pretty pictures? i did once upon a time post a pic of a branch on an empty page saying like, first of many portfolio pics to come! and i never posted more than a few other glimpses to my work, i think a lot of people would appreciate seeing them even if they cant read them thru (saddest bc i actually have no access to the powerpoint of the book edited to be graded, nor do i have the rationale or any descriptions of my main art pieces submitted for grading a) bc they deleted my school email without warning and b) my old art teacher hasnt gotten back to me and i havent gotten the chance to visit school, (i probably will after exams and im back in london)) unless i get those pictures i wont be able to post my proper art up, and if i did get them id probably make them into a facebook post bc that exhibition is still my profile picture and probably will be for time to come bc it shows me delighted and proud after putting up one of my biggest achievements in art. that in mind i could be ironic, wait a while now (esp bc i just have posted like almost everyday london pics etc) and wait till im back in london for the summer, and have a thursday (great bc ib exams are in may anyway, so proper just over a year memorial!) to post them, gives a bit of a gap in florals i suppose, and a break to all my 25 active followers from me posting all the time and then going silent for long. maybe itd be good to have a: london london london: couple pics of aberdeen to sum up the year/travelling scotland on the way back down: then wait a bit and then post them (as im back to my 3 in a row, thatd be at most another 6, maybe 3 just bc i love putting pictures up as memories, especially after i lost so many bc of my phone and since i dont like facebook, think i post up to 30 in a row bc it allows up to 10 hah maybe its oto much, but its one of those things thats not annoying? you can easily ignore it, its not my face, its not me bragging per say, its just me going look people who know me and care even a little bit, heres some pictures i think are pretty and a little context to whats up in my life! anyway. thats a good plan not to do it rn, bc i have all summer to post them the book is going nowhere its too precious, and even better i could potentially post scans not just the pictures, but nobody really reads what i wrote anyway soeh. and then i’ll have it on my instagram to show to people whereever i am without whacking out a great big book (still appreciated by real guests at the house, wow that sounds pretentious) and its 24 pages, some shitter than others, but that means i can divide them up to 8 each post, potentially in order as they appear in the book, but gotta be careful i dont end up with a shitty page on the first one, maybe ill put my 3 showstopper pages up ( being branch, kiefer, smth.) but i also dont want them to just be glanced over if theyre my best idk ill take some arranging, maybe pick 3 thatll compliment each other in a row and then gather things into them as they go,

 i.e. project pages! i.e. technique pages! i.e. inspiration/artist pages!

 that could group them quite nicely, and then ofc i have long captions, but i dont wanna blab too much about like, oh yeah technique was kinda never my choice, and the inspo artist pages are my faves. and then ofc illpost my front and back covers (thatd make an interesting series as them being the first and last first pic, as if they frame the middle, but considering instagram likes to stick to a shape per post, i might just include them as a spread at the end of one of them. write a few lines along lines of 

1st TBT to my complete portfolio page in ib hl art that i once upon a time hinted at here, but never got to posting more about. but infact i love all the work ive done and its one of the things im terribly proud of, and even if i dont currently have any solid pictures of my exhibition, within here are some progress etc pics of those works that i exhibited. 1/3 

ill work on the rest of this later probably