#i have some other samples but i cant remember shit lmao and all | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uc1wa · 1 year ago

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my music taste is all over the place like I listen to country rap kpop metal you name it

SO SOME OF THESE RECS ARE LIKE well one you might already know them but also like they vary depending on what you’re into

like some pop-y stuff (I think???? it’s just kinda upbeat )

Magdalena bay, theyre synth pop, they did kill shot and recently I have been listening to their song how to get physical and it’s just so like wow

Aurora ave, they’re indie pop, pretty new, also from my home city 🤭, their main singer for their earlier couple of songs Dominique is so good but she went to japan to continue her studies, and their new lead singer Samara is also SO GOOD. Ugh that whole group is so talented

Kero kero bonito, another group you’ve already heard probably like their flamingo song, and imma be honest I personally do not like a lot of their discography but I DO specifically like swimming / open road and the song only acting

ZEPH. my friend has been the biggest zeph fan for years and i’m not really big on her but if you’re into kinda experimental hopeless romantic stuff you should deft check her out, also her twitter (hatsunemitski) is so fucking funny

Adam Melchor, I saw him live at the laufey concert the other day and he’s so funny like he’s so genuine and UGHH I CANT. His voice is also so angelic??? like??? sir???? probably my favorite opener I have ever heard, he also just released an ep which has some really great and sweet songs

Superfan, pop (?) psychedelic vibes idk, heard their song onetime in a starbucks and shazammed it LMAO, very cool, wish I had motivation to look into them more

Some more like Rnb lofi hip hop type stuff

Limbo, her song airplane mode really blew up in like 2020, such a banger, but the rest of her discography is also really good she’s definitely one of my fav feel good melancholy like idk romanticizing my life

Going to the exact opposite of her LMAO, freddie dredd also blew up on tiktok and goes viral every couple of years but his music is a little more loud and he uses a lot of portuguese samples (i think i knew the reason but i don’t remember maybe he’s brasiliano or portuguese??) anyways you may have probably already heard him but there are some good stuff from 2018-2019 that aren’t as popular too if that’s what you’re into I used to play him as like pump up music for my hockey games

Montell fish, very popular for good reason, his album her love still haunts me like a ghost is so good and goes really well together imo, like pretend lovers is a great interlude between songs on my playlists, very sexy music

ENTRO//, no lyrics for most of his music, but it’s all very cool lofi with jazz influences and I like to listen to it to chill yk and some of it can start to raise my energy but generally it’s like i’m not asleep but i’m not running laps

Okay so their name is Sorry and technically they are trip hop (a quote from them) but ngl this is a pretty broad category so they’re just going here too… I don’t really fw most of their music just hasn’t interested me to look further into them personally but their two most popular songs starstruck and cigarette packet are really cool

sad indie stuff

this group called loving, they’re kinda like idk their songs make me cry but they’re also kinda uplifting??? they like pull you outta that state ykwim, like stranger to yourself is the song I play after allat

leith ross, great voice, and I once fell asleep to their song we’ll never have sex, woke up the next morning and my friends texted me asking me why I had listened to it over 1000 times

Rap

Jayworthy, got recommended his song wait on you on spotify on one day and UGH I LOVE HIS SHIT, like it’s so cool and interesting and like I just ugh get the best feeling walking and listening to him

J-pop, now i’m not as into this category BUT

Chai, they opened for a mitski show I saw and they WERE SO COOL. They sample mario sound affects and shit and are just so fun and I got their vinyl at that show they’re just yeah very fun and cute

some stuff I listen to who are artists who are like on the radio all the time and stuff like just kinda self explanatory

Dominic fike

Cody Johnson

Rob Zombie

Erykah badu

There’s also more I just kinda don’t feel too motivated to write more and also I don’t know what you listen to so like yeah there’s a good chance you know all of these and if that’s the case i’d love to talk to you ab them anyways 💗

ALSO NOTE I GOT SUPER LAZY WITH MY GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION KINDA COULDNT DECIDE OR COMMITT TO ONE OR THEBOTHER

first of all im in love w you, THANK U FOR RECOMMENDING ME SO MUCH IM SO SERIOUS!!! i queued all of this while i was writing a paper actually! thoughts under the cut!!

first of all i hope its okay i posted this since ik it was so much, but again thank you sm luv bug seriously, i loveee new music. aurora ave is so light and cute. i def liked cinema&swimming&open road (i think u recc'd all these LOL) by kero kero bonito, loveee this type of music to study to. liked adam melchor too! babe pls...u r my music plug now. i actually had a song saved by superfan already, but ur recc made me check them out more!! i liked cigaraette packet by sorry too!! will be running&skating to this song hehe. LEITH ROSS IS CUTIE!!! i like jay worthy's flow, will def listen to more of him. AND OMG CHAI HAS A SONG W GORILLAZ (lurvvvvv gorillaz). ive honestly never rklly listened to too much jpop either (im dead jp too LMFO), but loving chai theyre so cute and chill!! love erykah bday always and dom fike. again thank you sm love for all the reccs, i read and listened to them all!! pls dont be surprised if i hit up ur dms in like.2 weeks when i get bored of my music again LMAO

#bae sent so much im flooding the tl with one mail but hello free music reccs for everybody #EAT UP!!!#user: mouneramune #xi’s love mail

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layniapetrovnaaa · 4 years ago

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DOFP Logan X Reader Smut

Summary: Logan travels back to the past and sees you, the reunion was not what he was expecting considering your history; but when you fail to stop Raven, you find yourself scared for the future and you feel the need for his love again.

Warnings: Smut, choking kink, swearing, mentions of drug use (just weed), mentions of alcoholism. The beginning is kinda shit, but I think I did good with the smut lmao.

"Laurie was a young lover, but he was in earnest, and meant to 'have it out', if he died in the attempt, so he plunged into the subject with characteristic impetuousity, saying in a voice that would get choky now and then, in spite of manful efforts to keep it steady...

"I've loved you ever since I've known you, Jo, couldn't help it, you've been so good to me. I've tried to show it, but you wouldn't let me. Now I'm going to make you hear, and give me an answer, for I can't go on so any longer."

"I wanted to save you this. I thought you'd understand..." began Jo, finding it a great deal harder than she expected."—the book slammed shut.

The noise wracking the school made it hard for you to focus on your book–one that you were thoroughly enjoying–so you got up an went to go investigate.

As you exited your room and walked into the hallway, you met Charles.

"What the hell is that noise?" you asked him, agitation lacing your voice.

"I have no clue." he sighs and the two of you trudge down the stairs.

You couldn't help but snort at the sight in front of you. Hank hung from the chandelier, while his victim lay on the table below him.

"Get off the bloody chandelier Hank." the professor, who stood beside you at the top of the staircase, spoke.

You had to cover your mouth with your hand to stop yourself from laughing.

Hank jumped down and as you walked down the stairs you recognized the man.

"[Y/N]?" Logan spoke, surprised to see you again.

"What? You know him?" Hank asks, slightly out of breath.

You ignore both of them and continue to walk toward Logan until you are standing in front of him.

SMACK!

"What the hell was that for?!" he groans, bringing his hand up to is cheek, replacing where your had just briefly been. You laugh bitterly.

"What do you mean 'What the hell was that for?' You left me!" your tone was raised and angered but not quite yelling.

Charles and Hank stood there awkwardly, while Logan stood there bewildered.

"I left you?" he asks, is tone completely serious as his hand slips from his cheek.

Your laugh was sarcastic, as was your response.

"What'd you just lose your memories all of a sudden?"

Logan flinched at your words, but didn't answer.

All you could do was shake your head and grumble to yourself as you walked back up to your room, not even inquiring what he was there for.

Truth be told he didn't remember leaving you. After what happen with Stryker and losing his memories, the professor helped him to get some back, but he could only remember bits and pieces of really important events or people, and you were one of them. But he still couldn't remember much, only parts of your time together, the best parts.

***

Hank sat at the edge of the bed, you were laying on your side, your back facing him as you fiddled with the loose strands of the blanket you laid atop of.

"We talked to Logan." he states blankly, and you don't respond.

"He needs our help [Y/N]."

You scoff at that.

"Oh please.” You murmur. "What does the oh-so-great Wolverine need our help with?"

"[Y/N]" he sighs "what I'm about to say may be hard to believe, but your just going to have to trust us." he pauses, then continues "Logan was sent from the future, he needs our help to stop Raven."

At this you roll onto your back and burst into laughter. Wiping a stray tear from your right eye as your laughter starts to calm down.

"Well, I was not expecting that." you state, sitting up and slapping a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks for cheering me up Hank." You smile before getting up off the bed and going over to your dresser to find a joint. As you are rummaging through your drawer he speaks again.

"I'm-I'm serious [Y/N]. Even the professor believes him."

You slam the drawer shut and start to search through your jewelry box that sat on top of the dresser.

"Well the professor is also an alcoholic." you state rather harshly.

"Please [Y/N], we need all the help we can get."

You let out an agitated sigh and turn around to face him.

"Fine." you point a finger at him "But if I find out that this is just some silly ass shit, I'll beat your ass.

"Yes ma'am." he smiles, his tone playful yet serious.

***

After coming back from Paris that night and watching the news saying that they had already gotten Ravens blood sample, you couldn't help but feel completely defeated. You were sure everyone else felt the same way as well.

You were so lost in your own thoughts, that when you stopped at the door in front of you, you only then realized it was not yours, it was Logan's. The door was cracked open just enough for you to peak into his room and see him smoking a cigar on his bed. After staring at the door for a few moments you decided to knock, then enter the room. He turns his head to face the door as he blows out a puff of smoke. You close the door behind you softly and he raises an eyebrow.

"Shut up." you scoff, and he cant help but chuckle as he turns his head back to face the wall in front of him and take another puff.

"I always loved the smell of those." you said softly as you walked over to the bed and sat down.

"I know." he hums as he removes his hand from from under his head to sit up against the headboard.

Your hand slides back and forth over the sheets as you stare into his eyes intently.

"Logan?..." you whisper

He puts the cigar out in the tray that rests on his bedside table. He moves to sit next to you and puts his hand atop of yours, which had stopped moving as soon as you felt his touch. The face he gives you is so sincere, almost as if he was trying to say: tell me anything and everything.

"In the future do I-" you lean into him closer.

"Don't. Don't do that to yourself kid." he says softly, but firm.

You eye his lips, and then they are crushing your own.

The kiss is passionate, so passionate, and warm. You had kissed Logan many times before, but none felt like this as he grabbed your waist, pulling you to him as close as he could given the position you were in. Your hands fly up to grip his face and push his lips harder onto yours. He balances himself on his left hand which rests behind you on the bed. Deep breathes and the smacking of lips can be heard as your mouths dance together in a sensual and loving way.

He pulls back and your foreheads rest against each other, your noses nuzzling gently.

"I'm sorry for leaving." he whispers and you can feel his breath on your lips. You pull back slightly to look into his eyes.

"I forgive you." you just couldn't stay mad at him.

The green in his hazel orbs shines bright and you wonder how you were able to live without him for so many years.

"Make love to me." you let out in a breathy whisper.

All he does in response is kiss you hard and lay you on the bed gently.

His hands travel all over your clothed body, stopping to squeeze and caress certain areas.

As his lips kiss your neck you are reminded of the first night you two had been physically intimate. It was 1953, you had gone to see the movie "Roman Holiday", it was cute. You especially liked Gregory Peck, and even though he still wouldn’t admit it, Logan was a little jealous. And so you two kinda just ended up just making-out the whole time. That's when he took you home and professed his love to you physically, and promised he would love you forever.

He sits back and pulls the dingy white tank top he was wearing off. You bit your lip as you took in the sight in front of you—Jesus—its like he was hand crafted by god himself. He leans back down over you, and fits himself nicely between your legs. Grabbing your wrists to raise them above your head as you continue to make-out.

God, could this feeling just last forever? The weight of him on top of you, consumed by his musk, and the way his lips made you feel as if you were as high as a bird, as if gravity didn't exist.

You two sat up and you took your shirt off, having not worn a bra, you were completely exposed to him as he took off his belt and unbuttoned his pants.

"Jesus Christ" he breathes, both his hands being immediately drawn to your breasts, he starts to fondle them and you cant help but giggle slightly at the enamored look in his face before he sits back and you straddle his lap.

His hands caress your waist, up to your back, then down to your hips a couple of times as you starts to embrace his neck with your lips. Your hips start to move back and forth slowly, the friction almost killing you as you both let out soft moans and he grips your hips tightly.

“F-fuck” he stutters as you continue the sinful swishing of your hips. You pant softly at the feeling of your sweet spot getting some stimulation.

Logan grabs you and rolls you two over before getting up and taking his pants and underwear off, you do the same. He sits back on his knees in between your legs, admiring the sight in front of him.

“Look at this pretty pussy.” His thumb rubs up and down your thigh slowly.

You smile and bite your lip, captivated by the looks on his face, his eyes never leaving your core as he hums in satisfaction.

He leans back over you kissing your chest and flicking his tongue over your nipples. His hand slowly travels down and he starts rubbing your clit slowly.

“Aghh Logan” you moan, his middle finger dipping down to trace your hole, feeling the natural lubricant that excreted from it.

Slowly he starts to enter you with his longest finger, starting to move it inside of you. Feeling the influx of wetness he adds his ring finger.

Sighing and moaning softly into his mouth as you kissed. He always seemed to know exactly what to do to make you feel so good.

Once satisfied with how wet you had become he removes his fingers and you suck them into your mouth, remembering how that would always set him off.

His mouth hangs open as you look him in the eyes while your tongue flicks over his fingers.

Slowly he pulls them out and they release with a small wet popping noise.

“You always know how to make me fuckin’ crazy.” he groans.

His hands slide from your collarbones to your breasts, groping, jiggling, and smushing them together.

“I would die for these tits.” You laugh lightly at his statement before you bite your lip and reach out to grab his cock.

“I wanna taste you.” You hum, slowly stroking his member, maintaining eye contact as you knew that was something he loved.

“Another time baby, right now I wanna be in this tight and wet little pussy.” You release him, and sit back on your elbows.

Sighing erotically at his words you spread your legs further and he lines himself up at your entrance. He starts to slide in slowly, only going about halfway at first due to his size.

“You good baby?”

“Mhmm”

He starts to enter you fully, groaning as he does.

“Jesus fuckin Christ” he breaths, and you moan slightly, throbbing around him. You had to admit it was a bit uncomfortable due to his girth, length, and your size. But, it still felt really good having him inside of you.

He stilled for a moment after he had entered you to the hilt, feeling like it would kill him (in the best of ways) if he started to move.

Yet, he prevailed and started to set a relatively fast pace, one that made your breasts jump withe every thrust, and felt like goddamn heaven.

One of his hands took a hold of your wrist, lifting it above your head, his elbow digging into the mattress. His other hand flew to your throat and you let out and obnoxiously loud moan. Your free hand reaching down to stimulate your clitoris.

His breathing was heavy as his hips continued to buck into yours. Groaning and growling as well.

His pace slowed down for a moment and he gave you several deep, hard, and fast thrust, ones that made you grab his wrist (the one connected to the hand that was wrapped around your neck) as you squirm, moan obscenely, and dig your toes into the mattress sharply.

He starts to thrust into you faster again and he releases your neck and wrist. Running your hand down his toned abdomen, you feel the muscles tense lightly at each swish of his hips. Your arms wrap around to his back, your fingertips digging into the hard flexing muscles. Your mouth hanging open, moans escaping it every second, staring into his eyes as he fucked you.

He looks down and watches where the two of you connect and you squeeze him slightly, feeling his hips stutter when you do.

“Ohh shit baby, do that again.” You comply and he groans.

Its not long before you hear that saying you love so much.

“I’m gunna cum.” he moans out and you throb at his words.

“Oouu fuck” you moan as his pace picks up ever so slightly, running your hands up to his neck, pulling him down to kiss you.

You two separate and you can tell hes at his tipping point as he lets out a shaky breath.

A string of slightly high pitched, but throaty and guttural groans fall from his mouth and echo in the crook of your neck. Fuck, if that wasn't one of the most amazing noises you had ever heard...you didn't know what was.

He stills as deep inside you as he can get while his high takes over. You moan at the noises he makes and the feeling of his load inside of you, just being completely stuffed full of him, and you squeeze him as he orgasms.

Once he starts to come back to reality he kisses you in a dirty and sloppy manor, and pulls out of you. Your cunt clenching around nothing at the loss.

He runs his hands down your torso before kissing your left rib, then putting his face right between your legs.

He takes a deep breath in and hums, savoring the delicious smell of your sweet wet cunt. You squirm and shutter in anticipation, remembering that this was one of Logan's favorite activities to do while you were together.

He caresses your thighs a few times before finally giving you what you had been longing for so long.

His tongue circled your hole, dipping in a few times before flicking your clit.

He knew all of the tricks to make you absolutely melt.

He continued pleasuring you-- like no one else ever had before-- with his very skilled tongue.

“Auhh” you moan harshly as he inserts a finger into your sensitive core.

He never lets up, not even for a second.

You never wanted the moment to end as you felt that feeling in your stomach build faster than you anticipated.

“Oh fuck I’m close” you moan out, hips bucking up and down uncontrollably.

“That’s it baby.” he growls, and holds your hips down so he can keep his mouth on that divine pussy.

Finally releasing all of the wonderfully built up tension, you orgasm, and you orgasm hard.

Everything goes white as you stay in your high for a solid 15 seconds. Your toes dug into the bed sharply as your back arched and you pulled on Logan’s hair.

You become sensible again, and watch as he slides his finger out of you, licking it clean before doing the same to your overworked cunt. Flinching slightly as his tongue makes contact again.

He gets up, and your immediate reaction is to tell him to stay.

“You do realize this is my room, right?”

You bite your lip and giggle slightly as he climbs into the bed and under the sheets.

You snuggle into his hairy chest and let out a content sigh.

Little did you know only a short while later he would be leaving just as before, never to see him again, until about 30 years later...

#hugh jackman #wolverine imagine #wolverine #wolverine x reader #wolverine smut #logan howlett smut #logan howlett #logan howlett imagine #logan howlett x reader #smut #dofp #xmen dofp #xmen days of future past

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago

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HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

#lbaf

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plaguedoctormemes · 3 years ago

Text

Electronic Music Recommendations: First Impressions 1/?

This is a self-indulgent post! Whatever! I’m primarily going to search for these artists and songs through Youtube so if I’m missing some obvious stuff, just let me know. By the way, these are just my opinions and first impressions of these artists. So If i listen to your least favorite song or I’m not into whatever you recommend and it makes u upset, dont worry about it. It’s just music. I listen to some absolute horrid shit sometimes. Just really god awful music. Anyways.

1. @catboy-beb0p recommended CaseJackal/Hiimcase First thing that caught my eye was their lyricism. Once I found a song that really caught my eye, i was really impressed by the way they string lyrics together in a way that’s really, really satisfying. In their most recent album, Systemic Suburbanite, you can really see how much they seem to care about their music and want to improve. Their overall sound quality could still use some work, as some songs feel like there are some instruments missing and thus don’t hit as hard as they could. But! One particular song that won me over was “YOU ARE SO BAD” and “ETERNAL” from Systemic Suburbanite. I have been the SOLE VIEWS of these song on Youtube. And theyre really good! I love when they rap and I love their voice and I find their words extremely relatable. I can see them blowing up if the right person were to boost them. Let them know that the Plaguecore community can take them lmao. I’ll be coming back to finish this album. 2. @shazi-talks recommended their friend CatchinAshes Tell your friend to post their stuff on Youtube more! They only have one video of them doin’ their thing on Youtube 6 years ago and I cant hear exactly HOW good it can get cus its a live recording at a party and it sounded really awesome! But no worries, I found their SoundCloud. For some reason, one of the tracks that I really like by them is “Shift in Motion”. I like this elusive and unsettling nature of it combined with the hoppy rhythm. The falling sounds are also playful and add to this vibe. In kind of simplistic terms, it’s kind of giving me World Of Horror vibes but more dance-able? I notice that they dont create music (or share it) as often as they did 5-6 years ago unless there is somewhere else they post more often. I hope they keep going! 3. @transgenderpartydrugs recommended Gupi & Fraxiom (Foodhouse) Started with “Thos Moser”- what a fun start! I love the different directions it takes and it’s completely unapologetic with the auto tune, (although the very beginning brought me to a very bad place in 2008 but thats ok) LMAO. It’s also very reminiscent of that time but in a much more positive way. People don’t like to hear it but the late 2000s had good fucking electronic music, prove me wrong. Anyways. The music video is also hilarious. “Mos Thoser” fucks my ears in the way that I enjoy. I can see myself rushing graphic design homework to this, so I think i prefer this to the former for that reason. I’ll definitely need to be in a particular mood to enjoy their music overall, but I do enjoy and appreciate all the samples, synths and textures they offer. 4. @blueisagreatcolorforawitch recommended Fitz and The Tantrums

I decided to start with “Out of My League”. This is exactly the type of music I listened to all the time in my early highschool years (uploaded in 2013 so it makes sense) and It makes me feel extremely nostalgic for that. Makes me want to pretend like I can ride a longboard and try to pull off pull off bright colors and muscle tanks and beanies again. And I listened to “The Walker” and the top comment on Youtube made me chuckle out loud cus they got it absolutely spot-on. However, the song that I actually remember the most is “Moneygrabber”. I also feel that the lead singer’s voice actually fits really well with this style compared to some of their other bigger hits. I can see myself coming back to that song the most often. 5. @glittery-oubliette recommended Dorian Electra I have actually heard this name before among the younger LGBTQA+ zoomers on the ‘net. And to be honest, based on “My Agenda” and “Flamboyant”, and some of their other songs overall, their style doesn't super appeal to my current tastes. I probably would’ve been more into it if I were still 18-21. However, I really liked “Ram It Down” and “Adam and Steve”. Their vocals reminds me a lot of some recent Kerli for some reason (which for me is a relatively good thing). I wish i could be more specific about what parts doesn’t appeal to me, but I lack the musical knowledge and expertise to properly describe it. I do appreciate what they’re doing and find aspects of their flashy aesthetic charming- but again, not quite for me. And “Gentleman/My Lady” made me laugh out loud (and bangs hard near the end, which i love). I’d probably trust Dorian Electra fans with my life and I know of some friends that might not listen currently to them to be potential fans. 6. @plaguedocboi recommended Creature Feature

IDK if this really fits here but I dont care. This is another one I have heard of but haven’t taken the time to check out. I have some kind of aversion to finding musical artists online through word-of-mouth unless I specifically request it, as you can see. I started with “Buried Alive” because the thumbnail caught my attention and now I’m extremely pissed off because I would’ve loved this as a little emo/scene kid. I’ve always enjoyed Halloweeny music. I traveled the future to listen to “American Gothic” and then “Grim Grinning Ghosts” and i was delighted by it. I love the sound of their vocals. Their music also seems to fit the vibe of the current DND campaign I’m playing in super well (classic gothic faire) so I’ll definitely play them in the background of our sessions for now on. Funny how despite how campy and corny it can sometimes be, Halloween-themed music can be hella timeless. I will probably write and try listening to more music recommendations later or in the future but right now my ears and brain are starting to feel really fatigued. I really appreciate all of the recs and I love listening to new things, especially from people that I interact with/interact with me. 8^)

#the doctor is in #music recommendation #not plague #this is a long post so if its not covered by a read more im sorry

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steponmepinkjun · 4 years ago

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FELIX BI ANON HERE AND I AM ABSOLUTELY ROLLING your reaction made me laugh way too hard omg. ok if you'd been a stay for a while it's an ongoing gag that every australian knows a guy who knows a guy who knows felix. we dont know if Half the shit is true or not (i have some... Very Interesting claims i've heard, but never directly from the people who knew him themselves... i do believe them tho, knowing him and his predebut pics lmAOOo) but like just abt every aussie stay knows someone at this point, so yeah it Is just your average tuesday here LMAO

abt me meeting him, it was when they came here to australia! i went to their concert and got vip tickets so we got to do the high-touch at the end, but it all happened so fast its kinda blurry. its like my brain just Cant Comprehend the beauty of those fine ass men up close so its just. a muddled blur. but it was hands down one of the best nights of my life, i managed to make our lixie laugh at the Dumbest joke known to man (dont ask im embarrassed) but its been two years and my soul hasnt returned to my body yet. that man's laugh? i want it tattooed inside my eardrums, please and thanks.

I DO NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER HOW THEY SMELLED IM SORRY my nose is Very Bad i cannot smell things unless theyre like 2cm away from my nose and the whole arena kinda just smelled like sweat bc they set up the hi touch where the mosh pit was beforehand. i will give the insider stay knowledge tho that chris's cologne i believe is called eros or some shit? idr but ik its like $80 and according to the ppl whove sampled it, smells like "liquid heterosexuality." ill have to dig if u want me to find the exact cologne. ON THE OTHER HAND MINHO USES STRAIGHT UP FUCKING FEBREEZE which honestly just says plenty abt those two.

god i talk a lot i dont apologise tho bc theres more where that came from. anyway ur mum calling skz "our boys" is so precious and its hilarious that she roasts you like that LOL but pls. there are no bootleg felixs or chans to be found here. they were one of a kind, aussie blokes are... something else, in the most neutral sense of the word. either they're off the shits completely but its funny and theyre always down for a drink and a chat, or they WILL make you want to commit homicide but i suppose thats just men in general. they dont make men like chanlix no more and im upset abt it!! i aint living no fantasy i just went to [1] concert and my dumb ass bitch ass pea brain ass crusty motherfucker ass of a mind can barely remember. its tragic. im just waiting for them to come back for a take 2.

FIRST OF ALL BESTIE IF YOU DONT SPILL THOSE QUESTIONABLE LOCAL FELIX RUMORS...... like I need to know if any of my personal crackhead thoughts and impressions regarding The Felix™ are represented. Esp because I feel like every aussie bitch ever I ever encountered is the funniest bitch I ever met without even trying, like funny in a way I can't even put into words, yall just talk and I LIVE for it, I don't even need to know half of what the fuck yall talkin bout or get any of the references, I'm living from start to finish

Also I literally CRY thinking of Chan wearing Eros because I s2g at my last job I used to go downstairs to the men's cologne counter just to waste time and stare at the Resident Hot Lesbian and BRUHHHH...... All Versace scents are questionable cause they all smell like the morning after a Hot Girl Summer type excursion, that one night stand walk of shame didn't even make him wear a rubber type beat, you know? 😂 And Eros is very much That™ so like thinking of Chan wearing it is just like HOLD ON... WHEN DID THIS BECOME A WHORE HOUSE jduehajshdjajshdjsjsge 🤣 NO SHADE NO SHADE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The REAL shade of it all is that my motha even daring to make that comment is just... So pointed, because she KNOWS that even with the most busted, crusted, dusted, bootleg dreamworks DVD in a cracked jewel case type of knockoff counterfeit "if you squint real hard there's a resemblance I swear" type Bang Chan impersonator, the closest I could EVA get is thrown his discombobulated ass in the trunk of my car after giving him a throat-chop to discombobulate him, she KNOWS this, so it was RUUUUUUDE 😭😭😭

And but like I deadass live solely for the rare lil glimpse of the boys un-whitewashed..... It is my brains whole ass source of both dopamine and seratonin.......... they are obvi gorgeous literally any way but when you get to see their real skintones irl, melanin checked in and present, ugh it's just like (incomprehensible screeching) you know? They're literally perfect as is. I know it's a way more complicated issue than I could even begin to try to understand and I won't even attempt to speak on it, but sometimes I'm sad at how whitewashed they are in a lot of photos cause it's just like, you can't improve perfection, in my eyes at least, you know? Like the Cleo promos I just wanted to hurl a bottle of Lancome waterproof makeup remover like it was a molotov cocktail 😭 and the way they CLEARLY tried to contour Chan's nose to make it thinner n shit, oh bitch I was HEATED, I was like LEAVE HIS NOSE TF ALONE???? ITS LITERALLY PERFECT???? He doesn't need to have a thin crispy lil eurocentric button nose to be beautiful, god fuckin damn, leave that man be. They do look hellllllaaaaaaaaa pretty in every makeup look tho 😳 Ive been saying since my scene kid days, if men learned how to do makeup and have fun w it and respect it as an art form maybe they'd get more of the attention they want from women 🙊 OH and I absolutely fucking died when Felix was saying he wants to learn how to do makeup 🥺 my lil former makeup artist heart was JUMPIN, I was like BRUH I AM RIGHT HERE?????? I AM RIGHT HERE. RETURN MY CALLS SIR AND I WILL GIVE YOU WHOLE ASS TUTORIALS, DONT PLAY 😩 UGH I literally fantasize about doing some really avante garde makeup on Felix, his face is just so visually stunning but also dynamic, he has a perfect face for artistic, eccentric makeup looks, I would die to put him in some crazy early 2000's Galliano for Dior makeup looks. Or just anything where I could paint all his lil freckles like stars with the eye look reminiscent of clouds and the sky............ Since he did say "is anyone gonna have the whole universe in their eyes?" and then didn't wait for an answer 😪

#Not arcana #It's fine my world just revolves around these boys it's not a big deal #asksteppie #felix-bi-anon

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irkenheretic · 4 years ago

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Does Red have that one genetic disorder? What does it do to Irkens who do have it?

OOOHHH OKAY SO this is all gonna be headcanon stuff for ANX (watch me forget to tag the post as such lmao) so itll be canon divergent at points

so The Red Eye Thing, which has no formal name because why would irkens name it, is a linked gene between the gene that causes red eyes, and a genetic disorder that leaves an irken with a little extra chunk of chromosome in a sex cell that made them. (a sex cell is like, either the sperm or the egg, one of those) not an entire extra chromosome, that doesn’t happen among irkens, but a chunk.

you can’t have red eyes without having The Red Eye Thing, so yes red does have it! ^^

i just have to go on record and say that in ANX, irkens still reproduce naturally. they dont mate for fun or keep the young, but its still not artificial. smeets are also VERY IMPORTANT in irken society as they are seen as the future of the empire (like, assaulting a smeet is so universally hated that if someone is jailed for it they will 100% be killed before they ever stand trial. smeet assaulters are so hated that the control brains know this happens and they just let it happen)

so given how societally important smeets are, it tends to be Very Bad for Red Eyes that the main problem their genetic disorder gives them is infertility. theyre basically looked down upon societally because they’re unable to do a basic biological function that even smallers and defectives can do.

i mentioned they also have hyperpigmented skin in my other ask, but im putting it here again anyway. skin colors from that hyperpigmentation can range from “dark, but still normal irken dark” to “i have never seen a skin color as dark as yours before holy fuck” these edits i did of red are what he looks like in ANX, and hes on the way far end of the spectrum- out of 100+ characters in ANX, some other Red Eyes, he’s the darkest one. the hyperpigmentation is a result of the extra chunk of chromosome lmao

also, Red Eyes have trouble detecting pheromones other irkens give off. this can be just dulled senses, or it can be a total lack of detection, like what Red has. (ur seeing a pattern arent u, red has a more “severe” case of his genetic disorder.)

the gene also causes developmental disorders which... aren’t exactly on a sliding scale per se? it’s kind of like autism where every Red Eye acts differently from each other that there’s no real “universal experience” for how this specific thing presents itself.

the red eye gene is passed on from parent to child, it won’t mutate and it can’t be carried- you either have it or you don’t.

“but how can that be if they’re infertile!” i said infertile, not sterile. the reason Red Eyes are infertile is because, since the extra chromosome chunk was in a sex cell, at least 50% of their sex cells will be affected with the extra chunk, too. irkens have a biomechanism that purges cells with missing or extra chromosome parts (extra-chromosome irkens are relatively fine, missing-chromosome irkens are like, hatched with no brain or are stillhatches so good that thats... there)

but since those cells are purged, that’s at least half of the fertile cells. of course if they have a more severe case, like red, it would be more than half. so it is moderatley hard to nigh impossible for Red Eyes to conceive or fertilize, depending on who it is. so since only Red Eyes can pass down The Red Eye Gene, and these bitches rarely have smeets, there’s only like.... one Red Eye per generation, maybe two.

(fun facts: there used to be more Red Eye family lines, but some idiot got it in his head that Red Eyes caused defectiveness and that most defect trials were a false positive so in order to save everyone he needed to kill all Red Eyes, so now there.... aren’t..... any more......) (yes the control brains crazy murdered that idiot. they hate him so much sometimes they go “hey remember the red eye genocide guy? what the fuck, right?”)

so tl;dnr: it’s a genetic disorder caused by an extra chunk of chromosome in either a sperm or egg that made the irken. it causes infertility, hyperpigmentation, low or no ability to detect irken pheromones, and a developmental disorder that presents differently in everyone that has it.

tl;dnr 2: irken down’s syndrome.

under the cut im gonna go on about how society sees irkens with this condition (under the cut because.... sexual assault tw. also ableism tw)

Red Eyes are seen as... well... broken pieces of shit. before red was tallest, there WAS another Red Eye Tallest in recent history- tallest Zim. (NO RELATION to invader zim haha) zim becoming tallest made Red Eyes not be.... as hated, but there’s still this societal idea of “you are a broken piece of shit and your cells should have been purged.... buuuut if you do something above and beyond whatever it is your job is, we Might think you’re cool. also we probably won’t say this to your face but we’re thinking it really hard at you, and you KNOW we’re thinking it, so there’s no point in not saying it, but we still won’t so you cant claim we hate you. but make no mistake, we do.” so red just had, the BEST time growing up.

remember in my last ask, i said Red Eyes are liked a little too well sometimes? well... due to their infertility, they’re frequent targets for rape, especially in the military, since military irkens aren’t allowed to mate. nab a Red Eye and you can have all the fuck you want without any, er, evidence. red honestly was lucky he was constantly stickied to purple as an elite, otherwise Horrible Things could’ve happened.

was the general populace worried about a Red Eye tallest? yes. yes they were, back when it was tallest zim. they thought he’d be shit at it due to how “broken” he was. there was a LOT of public outcry, especially since zim was on the shorter side of tallests. they were ready to be all “see, Red Eyes are NOTHING,” until zim was actually an amazing tallest. he was so good the control brains liked him, and the only other modern tallest they actually liked was miyuki. he did great things for the empire, everyone loved him. when tallest red became tallest, everyone was much less worried. but they were still thinkin it, ya dig.

is red related to tallest zim? yes, zim is red’s grandfather.

is red’s tendency to forget words a part of his developmental disorder? it could be, could not be. there’s not much of a sample size due to yknow, the genocide, so there’s no-one to compare his symptoms against. the disorder presents differently in everyone so even if red is the only living Red Eye with that symptom, doesnt mean its NOT a symptom ya dig? but im gonna word of god it and say yes it is

can you have the same chromosome thing without being a Red Eye? yes! in this ask i talk about spork having a learning disability- he has the same chromosome thing, it just gives him different symptoms because he doesnt have the specific instance that red eyes have.

can you have red eyes without the chromosome thing? no, the gene for red-colored eyes is stickied to the Extra Chunk gene, and unlike chromosome issues, which can happen to any irken, an irken will not randomly mutate a gene for red-colored eyes.

is the term “red eye” derogatory? it was EXTREMELY derogatory before tallest zim took power. now it’s just a general term for a red eyed irken, but... irkens will still use it in an insulting way. like... “queer” is the best parallel i can draw. used to be a slur, now is a general term, but some people still clearly use it as a slur against others.

are red eyes called slurs? YES. they are targets for The Word. The Worst Word In The Irken Language, So Bad You Can’t Even Call It “The __ Word” Because It’s Too Close To Saying The Word. It Is Just, “The Word.” it used to be WAY worse before the genocide, simply because there were more of them. it decreased even more after tallest zim took power, but make no mistake, it’s still out there. also The Word translates out to “condemned obsolete bastard” with a side order of “the beginning of The Word sounds like im spitting on you and thats also exactly what it means.” its an awful slur its like if every human slur had an orgy

(was red called slurs growing up- YES.)

are Red Eyes defective? they can be! defectiveness is in the PAK, not in an irken’s biology. that’s why they’re called genetic disorders and not genetic defects, to separate them from the “we are going to execute you” defectiveness. they’re still scorned as if they are defective, though. sometimes theyre called “worse than defectives” as a jab at their infertility- like, even the empire’s worst can do that, ya dig?

back in The Old Days, there was probably a mix of defective and non-defective Red Eyes. now they’re all defective by coincidence.

#anarchisma au #I REMEMBERED FUCK YEAH #rape m #ableism tw #live from conventia #i hope u like it!!

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shytiff · 4 years ago

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Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know).

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

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eaglebones-falconhawk · 6 years ago

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ok. heres a write up of my astro weekend. sorry it’s so long.

...or at least everything i can remember.

i guess i’ll go in order.

thursday:

thursday was in athens. i sat around my airbnb room for a bit and then finally decided to go check out a shop around 2 pm. well apparently that fuckin shop was literally next door bc as soon as I turned around from loading up the parking meter, Birdstuff was there with the sound guy (his friend). I said hi and we talked for a bit, then I went into the store. I got a cool sweater and a cute dress and the girl at the counter took my picture to put on their instagram. I checked out a few more shops in the area before I went back. Also, Reel Big Fish were playing literally right up the road and I heard them rehearsing.

I got to the venue right before the doors opened and ran into a guy from the fan facebook group. we talked for a bit and he said he flew in from new york for the show. super nice dude. I went in and no one checked if i had a ticket or id’ed me or anything. kinda weird. Anyway i just kinda sat there for a while while people came in. avona nova waved at me when she showed up, then coco said hi later while I was talking to someone. the other guy was like “you know that guy...i feel like i should know him!” I had to tell him who it was, I thought that was pretty funny.

I also saw Birdstuff again before their set. He gave me a setlist but only if i promised not to look at it. I shoved it in my pocket and forgot about it til the next day. lol. Their set was really good. They opened with one of my favorite songs, and played the MST3K theme song. They also played one new song. Coco grabbed my head during one of the intro samples. Birdstuff also fed a chunk of pizza to the guy next to me. Oh shit, I almost forgot about Pylon. They played before astroman and were AMAZING. Also Vanessa (the singer) told me she liked my jacket when i picked up their new record from the merch table. I’m really really glad I got to see them.

After the set I stuck around to say hi and stuff. Me and my new buddy from the facebook group both talked to coco for a bit. I showed him my tattoo and he said he’d make sure i’d be on the guest list for the rest of the weekend buuut that never happened. I dont think he was lying or forgot but I never did get on that guest list :/. I gave him and everyone but star crunch some stickers. Avona Nova asked me about my shoes, and she was so into them. It was adorable! I love her. That’s about it for thursday night. Friday:

The friday show was in atlanta. I went to check out the botanical gardens in athens before i left town. it was unsurpisingly not that great on the last day of november but i still enjoyed it. it was nice to go for a peaceful walk through nature and i still got to see some cool plants. I left and drove to atlanta and went to my favorite shop in little 5 points, then left because i didnt wanna deal with people or traffic anymore. (i still got stuck in traffic). I did get a cool MoAM magnet though.

The show in atlanta was in the same place i saw them last year- except they expanded so the venue was about twice as big. i got there kinda early (they also opened the doors way later than advertised) so i sat with one of birdstuff’s friends/the sound guy for a while. hes a really nice guy and showed me pictures of his cats. he also introduced me to some other people that work at saturn.

the merch table was on the old stage and i fell a little bit and almost spilled my drink on star crunch who was unloading tshirts. he was like “oh...hi”. after the show he told me his dog died :/

the first 2 opening bands were kinda weird but i had fun watching them. Arcwelder played and I really enjoyed seeing them. I think i’m gonna try and get some of their cds. I saw coco in the audience again and i think he waved at me but i cant remember if he said hi. my new buddy was kind of impressed that any of the band members did say hi though. lol. i think avona nova musta said hi that night too bc at some point he was like “you’re like the astro-insider”. I thought it was hilarious.

The set for this night was pretty great. they opened with With Automatic Shutoff again but it sounded way better. they also did a few improv songs, and played the mst3k song again, but it wasnt on the set list. Coco fell at some point during the set and kicked me in the face a little bit. I told him afterward and he felt really bad. He also knocked over one of the monitors when he fell, and i had to hold it up with 2 other guys to keep it from falling. I got to wear coco’s helmet for a minute but its heavy and smelly so i put it on someone else as soon as i could. also henry (the guy who put all the shows together as his birthday party) told me he was really glad i came. it was kinda weird but it was nice. kinda made me wanna cry though.

After the show i stuck around for a bit. this time i did get to talk to the band a bit more. I asked star crunch how he was doing and he was like “i’ve had better weeks....my dog just died” UM. OKAY. he did seem really sad though. i feel bad for him. hes such a nice man. We talked for a bit and I gave him some of the stickers i made. birdstuff knew i was going to drive from atlanta to birmingham for the next show so he offered to find me a place to stay as they all claimed “the drive back was really boring”. star crunch was like “you could stay with my parents, my dad could teach you how to line dance.” lmao. him and coco also told me about a time they apparently both interviewed and applied for the same job, with the idea that theyd both work the same position for like half the year and get twice the amount of work done, so they could tour the rest of the year. i had to tell him that basically the same thing happened in an episode of its always sunny in philadelphia. lmao. i talked with them all for a while before they started leaving and stuff. i mean i didnt have anything better to do. i said see ya later and got an uber home. my airbnb was cold as shit and i didnt sleep very well.

saturday:

the saturday show was at Saturn in Birmingham. and it was perfect. i slept as late as i could then just chilled in my airbnb (it was a converted airstream trailer- hella cool but kinda cold in late november/early december) until it was time to go. i packed all my shit but wasnt really sure if i wanted to stay in Bham because i figured i’d have to stay with a stranger or something. the drive from atlanta to birmingham really wasnt that bad, but i’m also not a 40 year old man. I got to bham way earlier than i expected so i went and tried to get something to eat. the sandwich i ordered was amazing but i just wasnt hungry. did i mention i have appetite issues when i travel? because i barely ate anything all weekend. anyway i went to saturn and just sat around for a while til i met another person from the facebook group. which was nice, because i basically wasn’t alone at any of the shows. this guy was also super nice. avona nova came up and said hi and asked me about video games? i wasnt feeling good and i was really confused when she said that. it was still cool she said hi though. she’s so sweet.

once again i wasnt on the setlist even though coco told me twice he’d make sure i was on there. i was kinda mad about it til he came up before their set and asked if i got in okay. (he also startled me when he did this because he came up from behind). Arcwelder played again this show and they were really good again. Tar was also super good and the singer told me he liked all my space shit after the show. he was really nice.

This show was played on the floor with a huge parachute as a backdrop. it looked awesome and made for a nice intimate setting. the band came through the audience instead of from the back and scared the hell out of me when they came up from behind me.

This show was probably my favorite of the whole weekend. I think the set was a little longer but they also just sounded great.

early on in the set star crunch’s microphone was like, electrified and it shocked him in the middle of a song. he put his guitar up to it to prove it and there was a bright spark. someone said “put a sock on it” so coco, being the fucking weird man he is took his shoe off and offered his sock to star crunch. but like its a sock and your mouth goes real close to the mic so he was like “no!!” coco just threw his fucking sock into the audience and played half the show with only one shoe on til the rest of the band made him put the other one on (with no sock).

the theremin broke at some point during the set (it fell...but a cymbal also fell and broke the cord. who knows which truly broke it) so they almost didn’t play principles unknown, but birdstuff had the sound guy put a bunch of reverb on the mic and made coco do the fucking theremin noises with his mouth. and it was fucking incredible. he did it like, perfectly and TBH it was amazing to witness. i got it on video and i’m so glad i did.

coco put the space helmet on me again during this show, and i tried to take a selfie with it but it didnt save :/. oh well. it got passed around the audience and everyone that got it seemed super happy.

they played the mst3k song one more time this show, and birdstuff dedicated it to me :) he said something like “she drove all the way from fucking new zealand!” and this guy with a real heavy southern accent tapped my shoulder and was like “new zealand?” no...just iowa. lmao. it was so cool he did that, though. i’m really hoping someone recorded the whole show so i can go back and listen to it later.

birdstuff did his regular drum kit sculpture but this time he stole a bunch of people’s belts (yes....he asked the audience for belts and then took them) and hung the snare drum from the ceiling. the second funniest part of the show was watching people try to find their belt from the pile.

after the show i saw another guy in a jumpsuit so i went to tell him i liked it, just for solidarity i guess? turns out he went to high school with coco. weird! he was a super friendly guy and was kind of enthralled with my outfit. he took a picture with me and coco lol.

I asked coco if i could take a picture with all 4 of them. i hadnt done it yet and i was like why not! its a special weekend!. he was like “yeah! if we can get everyone all together” which yeah, took a while. i also made sure i asked star crunch since he usually disappears first.

there were some teenage girls there who were trying to get the band’s autographs, and it was awesome. they were nice and i hope they had a good show. one of them told me she thought star crunch was cute. lmao. i kinda wish i’d gotten some autographs but i had such a good weekend, it doesn’t matter.

i hung around until finally we got everyone in one room so we could take a picture. my bud for the night from the facebook group also got to take a picture with them.

birdstuff asked again if i wanted to stay there, and i was like “sure!” mostly just so i could say i did it. man, it was an awesome place. they put in some rooms and bunks above the venue so bands could sleep there. none of the bands that played that night stayed though, so i got the whole front room to myself. birdstuff showed me around and tried to get netflix on the tv to work but couldnt so he just showed me where the dvds were. i found a simpsons dvd and watched that.

let me tell you- staying the night in saturn, watching the simpsons after an amazing MoAM show where they dedicated a song to me and then i got to hang out with them for a bit, that’s my idea of heaven. it was such a perfect night. i also took some pictures in the upstairs of saturn, partially because i wanted to be able to prove i was there, but also because the art and decorations were fucking awesome. such a good night.

i did have to take a shower without a shower curtain though. birdstuff couldnt fix that. i didnt even care though.

sunday:

the sunday show was in atlanta again, at a place called whirlyball. now what i didnt know about this place was that its not a fucking venue but basically an arcade. or well, more like, its this sport played on bumpercars with lacrosse sticks. theres 2 courts and a few games in the lobby, oh and theres a stage too. what a weird place. i was starting to feel sick by this day so i just sat on the couch for a while. avona nova sat on the couch next to me and we talked for a minute, and the others said hi when they saw me.

i watched people play whirly ball for a bit, chilled while the first band played, then while the next band set up i went and found a bar chair in the lobby. one of the OTHER guys from the facebook fan group came and said hi and gave me an envelope with a ton of cool MoAM flyers in it. he also printed one of the pictures i took at the friday show and made me a custom record with that as the insert cover. it was fucking awesome but unexpected, i hadnt seen this guy all weekend even though he was at the other georgia shows.

this was an all ages show so there were a few kids there. (including coco’s kid, she was adorable). pretty standard set again. i was feeling kinda crappy so this show felt weird to me, but it was still a lot of fun. at the end they pulled up a few kids to play bass and drums, and it was awesome. i found those kids after the show and gave em some stickers. they were so excited.

i waited around after the show for a while again. avona nova told me she was gonna find the merch they brought so i could get some pins for my friends but mostly i didnt want to leave. she also asked if i wanted to take another picture with all 4 of them but star crunch and birdstuff were out of sight so i just took one with her, and then coco. shes so sweet.

i met one more dude from the facebook group, this time a guy that came with his kid. they were both so excited to be there and it was adorable. he saw one of the pictures i had posted of a huge leaf i found at the georgia botanical gardens and showed me one he had taken earlier that day of his son with the same type of big fucking leaf (it was as big as him!). I gave them some stickers, and then they left. i think they had a bit of a drive.

i hung around for a bit longer, talked to a few more people but there wasnt anything special really. some ladies really liked the jumpsuit i wore (lol). eventually i was ready to leave and birdstuff gave me a hug ( :)) ). he was worried about me driving back and offered to find me a hotel room. he also said to “make sure you stop at a rest stop if you start getting tired” which is exactly what my mom would say, lmao. it was sweet though. i said goodbye to him and daniel (the sound guy) and left.

i got gas and then cried while i was driving because i had such a perfect weekend and i wasnt really ready for it to end. but like i was getting sick and ready to go home. anyway i drove home overnight (like 10 hours).

anyway i had the most fun i’ll probably ever have for the rest of my life and it was worth the long fucking drive. my only regret is being too anxious to eat and not doing more shopping.

thanks for reading this, if you did in fact do so. part of this was just to act as a journal if i want to go back and look at it later.

sorry its so long.

#MOAM #long post #h205o #astro weekend 18

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greywitch · 6 years ago

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i like how lelouch always puts everything on hold for c.c. click thru for a 1k word analysis on lelouch --> c.c. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

in the middle of the battle for narita, lelouch runs off the battlefield to care for c.c. when she’s injured protecting lelouch from suzaku even though he already knows she can’t die. initially, he wants to sample her blood for testing, but after hearing her moment of weakness and her name, he tosses the bloody rag away (tho while they’re in the cave, isnt he worried the still inexperienced black knights would fuck up somehow lol)

again, lelouch knows c.c. can’t die and c.c. was… not very Kind rejecting him to go to mao, but as soon as lelouch figures out what mao had said to her, he immediately stops to go save her even though…. he really didn’t need to because as c.c. said, her leaving was the comparatively easier solution to protecting himself

ending of r1 - nunnally is kidnapped, but he still has time to worry about and reassure c.c. (cue the “if you’re a witch, then i’ll become a warlock” line)

in the chinese federation infiltration picture drama, post-dance and post-geassing of the federation officials, kallen and c.c. both depart to make preparations, but lelouch this time is the one to stop c.c. and engage in small talk basically LOL but also to reassure her and, as evidenced by the picture drama fading out on their convo, that goes on for Quite A While despite the fact that they have more pressing matters lmaooo

EDIT2: AND I FORGOT THE BRIEF SCENE in r2 ep11 immediately post-kallen capture when c.c. is going out to join the battle because they are That Outmatched and lelouch stops her to say, “if we start to lose, run for it” to which c.c. responds, “come up with a solution before that happens” :’) (this is a really good thread discussing it.)

edit: I FORGOT TO ADD OF COURSE r2 ep 15 - the emperor has code; lelouch HATES the emperor and britannia and is devastated to learn defeating him is IMPOSSIBLE now, but when he learns the Solution would be taking c.c.’s code and killing her to go toe-to-toe with him, he 200% refuses. given all the carnage he’s caused thus far and all the people he’s lost (euphie, shirley, etc), given the “ends justify the means” mindset he has, it makes little sense not to take c.c.’s code to secure a road to victory tbh, esp when she was convinced it (mercy kill) was what she wanted but love often doesn’t make sense :’)

nunnally is in grave danger again - he lashes out at an amnesiac c.c. but as soon as he realizes he’s hurt her, he snaps out of his freak-out to care for her

there’s also a moment during this arc when he’s going to make his final stand against the emperor do-or-die, kill-or-be-killed and he thinks something along the lines of “kallen take care of c.c.” which is rly sweet given c.c. is completely useless to him now and she’s not even really c.c. anymore

they’re in the middle of an all-out war about to enact a plan with very low chances of survival/success (i.e. disabling the fleija), and he still takes the moment to reassure c.c. and have a genuine heart-to-heart (cue kallen cockblock)

you could say some of these instances are due to Pride and not wanting to Owe C.C. A Debt (i.e. examples 1 + 2) earlier in the series, but we’ve all seen that lelouch CAN swallow his pride (when he goes to suzaku and begs on hands and knees for him to protect nunnally) in order to achieve a goal, and anyway pride can’t explain the rest of the instances throughout r2

with his other main love interests, shirley and kallen, lelouch has…. more often than not blown them off, intentionally or otherwise

lelouch has blown off shirley so many times except when her life was In Imminent Danger but one instance is shirley calling lelouch about to confess during the chinese federation arc and lelouch asks her a question bc politics before immediately hanging up lol

kallen gets captured by the enemy; lelouch means to go save her (and he does give the immediate order despite the strategic risks), but A Bunch Of Shit Happens and he gets waylaid for many episodes and then isn’t even the one to directly save her in the end lmao (i think she was “priority item #3″ during that operation?? bc the main focus was nunnally and ider what priority item #2 was lol)

but with c.c. i cant really remember a moment where c.c. Required His Immediate Attention, and lelouch hasn’t given it to her, regardless of what other Shitfest is going on or how relatively minor her issue is, even when the Shitfest involves nunnally, his #1 priority. given lelouch’s reactions to events throughout the series, i’d say c.c. is a close second—maybe because she’s Useful To Him earlier on in the series (even though kallen is too lol, his “most special piece to play” as he says) but that explanation is insufficient to explain his actions by the end of r1.

there was discussion on the reddit about a scrapped plot okouchi had written where c.c. was kidnapped and lelouch immediately ran off to save her (here and here with link to OG tweet), and at first i was like this sounds kinda ooc but looking back on some of these canon instances….. sounds about right lmaooo.

he keeps shirley and kallen at arms length much of the time because, as c.c. says in the series, there are times when you have to distance yourself from those you love because you love them, and he does love shirley and kallen. but with c.c. he shares something special, something different, something where he can not only rely on her to be his other half but also keep her in his thoughts even when his thoughts are a fucking mess and even when 1) there’s no need or 2) it doesn’t benefit him.

#code geass #c.c.#lelouch vi britannia #lelouch #clu clu #im using all the tags bc im passionate and i havent posted shite in like 2 years LOL #rip this blog and fanfics #who knows when they'll return from the war

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atleast-we-were-electrified · 6 years ago

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I REALLY needed this vent...

The past couple of days, I’ve been having a really tough fight with my mental health. I don’t particularly know why or what brought it on, it’s pretty hard to pinpoint but when I get like this, I tend to really dive into the hurt and the pain I’ve felt previously. I suppose this would be natural….feeling anxious and depressed over empty feelings?? Just think about the things that would initially throw you off guard and then you’ve nailed it! (sense the sarcasm). It initially started with thinking of a pretty toxic friendship I got myself into during high school and honestly, toxic is probably a really generous word to describe this. I will try keep this short. I struggled with settling into high school, due to going to a school not in the area I went to primary school…which meant a full new year group of people to try know. I spoke to the odd couple of people in my classes, just because I sat with them etc, got the people I spent lunch with but then I got close with a girl, who we are gonna call Sarah for the purpose of this story. Me and Sarah built a friendship pretty quickly, did nearly everything and anything together…sleepovers, concerts, random walks, mcdonald's runs, the cinema…pretty much you name it, we most likely did it together…we were attached by the hip. The friendship lasted right up until not long before we were going to start our 5th year at high school (maybe nearer the half way point of 4th year, give or take that time period). I was the last to notice the toxic nature that began earlier on in this friendship, I guess the ‘victim’ always is the last one to really know just how bad a relationship is for them because they are so fast to jump onto being the caring person they are. Anyways, throughout this friendship with ‘Sarah’, I was distanced away from the people I had made friendships with from other classes, who I did get on with REALLY well, like really well…'Sarah' would get really angry and upset if I began talking about these other friends in conversation, or other friends we had made through going to gigs, meeting celebrities etc. I, in her eyes, wasn’t exactly allowed to have other friends…”my friend and my friend only” was the kind of attitude she had…but can we make a lucky guess who was allowed to befriend all these other people?….I really got lucky here didn’t I? I would eventually brush of the ‘petty’ arguments we would have…that’s what happened with high school and high school friendships, right? It was the normality. For the most part, this is what I thought and would always be able to see the good in people. Now, this is where I suppose it gets pretty shit. Arguing with ‘Sarah’, for anybody, not just me, was a task. She wasn’t ever wrong. If you called her out for wrongdoings, (which was pretty much 8/10 arguments you’d have, it be at her fault) she would point blame to being upset over her deceased mother. That was wrong of her. SO SO wrong. It turned the original victim of an argument to become apologetic for arguing back. I am by no means disregarding her feelings about her mother’s death, because they are SOOO understandable and something everyone would regret to happen to them…but she had a really horrible, nasty side to her and to put the blame away from herself was really bad. I recall the time where I noticed she would text other friends of hers about me. Sneaking pictures I wasn't aware she was taking, sending them to these people (some I didn’t even know nor met), and then talking down about me. Calling me every under the sun…. Would caption them things like, ‘I mean look at her…’ & ‘even Im prettier than THAT and i'm not that pretty’. I seen ALL of this and to this day, I don’ think she knows I seen anything at all, never mind conversations with a fair few people doing the same thing whenever I was being spoken about. I only know this because she had her iMessage linked up to her laptop, which she would let me use whenever I was over since mine had broke, so she was texting her friend at the time and didn’t realise I was getting each notification through as I scrolled through twitter ….AND I didn't even have the heart to say a word? Why? Honestly, I don’t know….she fell asleep and I ended up snooping a little (yes. I know, I really shouldn’t have but when you see small snippets of messages with your name in them…your anxiety runs WILD). I kept being friends with her for at least another year and a half following this incident. Another incident was that after an argument we had at her house in her room (she had an attic room), I cant really remember what for, I have a really bad short term memory because I am dyslexic but from what I do remember, it really probably wasn’t worth the dramatic antics from it but anyway, I got really anxious and didn’t feel comfortable staying the night and going out the next day, and preferred to go home but instead of letting me leave and have my space…she sat down ON the hatchet door to go down from the attic and its a heavy door without somebody sitting slap down in the middle of it. I spent a good solid hour/ 1hr 30mins nudging her to move, trying to lift it, taking numerous panic attacks and she did….not..care. If I nudged her, she full forced pushed me away. “It’s my room so you’re not leaving here”. All I wanted in that moment was to go home and pull the covers up to my face in my OWN bed in my OWN room and cry my life away. It was a pretty shitty situation, it really hurt me for weeks and weeks after this. I would still talk to these other people in my classes I got really good friends with…while I was in class but god forbid if I ever spoke to them outwit my classes when I should have been speaking to ‘Sarah’…that wasn’t allowed but it honestly, really wasn't the same as many people were aware of the type of person ‘Sarah’ was and saw right through the ‘good girl’ act she would put on. The friendship ended up finishing…finally (tehehe) when I came to my senses after something really, REALLY traumatic happened, for me at the time anyway, which I wouldn’t really know, where or how to even begin to write about that. By fluke, she had lowkey began distancing herself (or she always had but I noticed it this point) a couple months before this incident began happening, so with this happening, I just cut ties because It was realising who my friends were caring about me and not disregarding me feeling how I felt then. She made my life living hell at school for a good month after cutting ties, we were in a few classes together because of us being in the same registration class (so a smaller class of our full year split) , so she wasn’t somebody I could avoid every day at school. It was a very lonely place to be. I’m not gonna list everything she did to make me feel how she did at this point but I was in class before lunch (which she was in) and she was sat talking about me to other girls at the other side of the class for the full 50 minutes and every time id look up from my desk, it was a line of dirty looks looking back at me. When class finished, I stood in the corridor and waited for it to clear a bit and I broke down into tears, I hadn’t cried like this before in public…. And to my luck, the friends I had in other classes, that I was ‘forced’ to break friendship with, were walking in my direction in an empty corridor and saw me in an absolute state and just sat with me and hugged me and just was really, REALLY decent people to me. To this day, I don’t think I could thank these people enough for allowing me to remember what it felt to be cared about. There is literally so so much that went on between all this, that would be an absolute shock to the system if I went back and described it all in detail etc but I’m gonna save myself from crying more than I have / am. I could dive into rumours she started about me, things she would say or do about me while I was literally stood next too her but her choice of wording made it sound differently too myself. She would force me into things I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing ( I tweeted recently about the time where she forced me to let her put make up samples on me, like a full face, in a store publicly because ‘it would make me prettier’ ..and I let her and oh god I felt uncomfortable) Not really sure how and what else to say because as much as she made my life the worse it could have ever been, if anything ever happened to her I would be distraught still. So many people wonder why or how I would even think to concern about her after all the things she has done to me but she is still a person and she is a person I spent a large chunk of my life with and at a part of my life where it is known to be a hard time for a lot of people. I cared A LOT for her, more than I should have but I did. I wouldn’t ever go back there and be friends with her ever again but were both I guess older now and I’d like to think, passing her in the street, I would still say, ‘hey how are you’. I doubt so much, she is the same person she was in high school…everyone grows up and matures eventually but I do still believe she would be capable of doing it again to other people if she really wanted too. I just really cannot believe just HOW blind to the truth I was. Other friends out with school who didn’t even know her, were telling me to cut ties…my mum was….my FULL family was. It was the point where they would refuse her to stay over or to give us a ride places because they just were really disgusted in the things she did too me. She was manipulative, she was controlling and extremely overpowering. NOBODY deserves this. Its made me so much more aware of character judgement but I guess by biggest downfall is always seeing the good in people lmao but I fully sympathise with anyones horrible, toxic friendships. If you are in one, I do not hate anyone for feeling like they are stuck and bound to the relationship because that is how they make you feel…they make you feel like you can’t do things that would jeopardise the friendship….yet that is what they are doing themselves? It is a brave thing to do and as ive said, I will never ever regret it…EVER. It did make the last while of high school so much more bearable and my transition onto my next step of education was ridiculously easier as I wasn’t feeling like I had to stay and finish school (I left a year earlier) because ‘she would be alone’. If you’ve gotten this far, im gonna give you a star because it was such a while ride and this was written purely to get it out my system. I wanted to vent out about my infertility syndrome, MRKH as well as boy has that made me want to rip my hair out and eat it recently alongside reliving the feelings of this toxic friendship again but I will spare that one for now as this is lengthy and I’m not even gonna read it back…I’m too dyslexic for that. As you will have realised, I don’t REALLY do describing things and experiences I’ve had with A+ author grammar and English words so it probably doesn’t come across in words as it does in my head but all anyone needs to take by the end of this is that it fucking sucked and If you’re in a toxic relationship of any kind, it is OK to leave it. I wish everyone the best and I hope ya’ll have nice days💜

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meechdoucet · 4 years ago

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update

damn its been a while. well im back and thinking of staying on this tumblr shit. where tf do i start? llamaspit... ratpiss... my ep... finding my biological sisters... idfk but lemme just start

so last time i was simping over allina. well thats over, me and her broke up because... well... lets just say it wasnt the healthiest relationship but im glad we broke that off as soon as possible bc it mightve only gotten worse. anyways, after that we were friends, and i found out she was talking shit about me with some of her other friends, just acting really childish, and i decided to cut that off for good. this was the end of november this happened, about a week after her birthday.

me and christopher came up with the idea for llamaspit randomly some time in october and were thinking of making something together, a tape, album, idk. he showed me a mixtape that changed my writing process all together, the earl mixtape. thats when my verses for ratpiss were made. i wrote my 2nd verse in like 10 minutes and the first verse in 5 minutes, my brain was jogging like crazy. still suprised how fast i wrote those verses. after that, ratpiss dropped and it got the most attention from a release i never had before, people were giving me compliments left and right. at first i didnt know how to take it and i was freaking out because i was never shown this kind of attention, but after time its just like whatever, i was freaking out over 300 plays in 24 hours now its almost at 1k and i can care less lmao whens the next song. anyways, i didnt drop anything for like a month because i was working on album (which i scrapped btw, it was trash and i wasnt ready for a full length album yet) and then kinda stepped back. another month went by and i havent dropped anything, so around christmas time i just released some scraps/unfinished songs. behind the scenes me and christopher were setting up a bunch of shit for llamaspit and i can see this shit taking off man like fr we have a vision and people just gotta recognize that. but for now im just inside my room chillin all day. i released slide on new years day, its not my best song but it was alright, that was cool, it was nice to release again. musically now im trying some more stuff with samples and some stuff i never seen before so thats fucking sick, im making original shit i havent seen before so thats swag.

back in november i was in a really really bad place mentally, and i had some sort of an existential crisis and just lost all purpose and meaning to everything. one night, i cant remember what day, but i went into the pantry and grabbed 7 aleve pills and fell asleep. i tried to kill myself that night, and all that happened is that i woke up with a hugeeeee headache and yeah. i went to a mental hospital later that day because they saw my internet history but came back home later that night. earlier in the day i checked my instagram dms and my biological older sister finally found me after all of these years and thats my main motivation to keep going. love my big sis and shes everything to me.

damn this is shorter than i thought, there might be more tbh but thats a big update. looking back at my old posts i cringe but i wouldnt be where i am today without it. also i made a vow to never delete anything so imma keep my word ig. (even though i deleted all my tweets lmao) anyways, love yall, peace

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l3ambina · 7 years ago

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all of the numbers for Chiyu ❤

omg dear

ok here we go time to die lmfao

1. What does their bedroom look like?Probably somewhat dark, lots of plants. Succulents because she cant keep anything else alive long enough. It’s probably always a little messy.2. Do they have any daily rituals?Nothing in particular except waiting for something to happen with the League. She likes to hang out in Kur/ogiri’s bar with him and Da/bi and chat. Da/bi prefers other places to hang out though, he only stays there if he has to.

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?She does, by fighting with the other league members and training herself. She doesn’t want to be useless in a fight.

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?Barge her way in. She’s hungry, dammit. That, and she knows no one would mind making room for her. They’re not that competitive about it.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)Not that clean when she’s not doing a mission. She has to be REALLY cleanly when helping a mission though because she has to heal wounds and she cant risk infecting them.6. Eating habits and sample daily menuThe only one who can cook anything decently is Kurog/iri, so there’s a lot of eating out when he’s not available. Chiyu can cook a little bit but its not a great idea. Don’t even think about letting the other league members cook, thats just asking for a disaster.7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting timeAnything that involves hanging out with Da/bi. As long as he’s with her, she doesn’t mind. Da/bi isn’t one to like wasting too much time though, so they don’t do that too often if he can help it. Chiyu doesn't mind the idea of it, though.8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulgingFavorite indulgence is sweets! She tries not to eat too many but sometimes she cant help herself. She’s lucky she has a fast metabolism. She has no feelings about indulgence either way, but thinks its better to indulge yourself at least sometimes. 9. Makeup?Nah lmao10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?The same ones I have I suppose, so Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and BPD. They are self diagnosed, though since they never had access to good healthcare.11. Intellectual pursuits?Medical stuff, she has to learn all of it so that she can heal better. She can’t just wave her hands and magically heal someone, she has to understand how the body works, and sometimes it gets messy if she has to set bones and stuff. She HAS to make sure its going to heal properly before speeding it up, otherwise she will have to start over.12. Favorite book genre?fantasy, scifi, maybe a bit of medical textbooks too lol13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?Asexual, panromantic. She doesn’t care too much about it tbh? She just knows she likes anyone regardless of gender and doesn't see the need for labels really. Especially since she’s pangender and doesn't think about her own gender too much.14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)Uhh, none that I can think of? She heals herself so she never really goes to hospitals or anything... if she has any of those, she doesn’t really know about it. Poor girls never had a proper check-up in her life.15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?Biggest: To help the League by being their healer. Smallest: To become an asset to them as best as she can.16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?Biggest: To make the world see what is really important. To not put heroes on pedestals. To help others and make a safer world, not just for purely good people. Smallest: To love Da/bi and help him figure out his issues and support him. 17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dressWay prefers casual. she’s not opposed to dressing up though, it makes her feel nice sometimes.18. Favorite beverage?Green Tea19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?A lot of things. Are they really doing what they set out to do? Is being with the League really going to help her with the world? Does that even matter? She loves the League members so much, she doesn’t know what she’d do without them. And Da/bi would never abandon her and she’d never do that to him. She just hopes she’s doing the right thing.20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?It’s a miracle she didn’t die as a kid. Her parents died whe nshe was young, and she was in an out of run down orphanages for a time, until she ran away. They weren’t good places. She learned how to heal herself at a young age though so she never got too sick.21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?Being loved, cherished and adored with a gentle kindness. But also being looked at like a piece of meat or an object, feeling like someone owns her. It’s always consensual when its like that but it.. helps her deal with her trauma, as long as she controls the situation.22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?Writing her thoughts or drawing, probably. Writing helps her remember things.23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?She’s only organized with her medical self education. Otherwise her lifes kinda messy. her room is pretty messy and disorganized.24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?Yes! Medical stuff c:25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?Hopefully by then the world has settled into its new order and things become peaceful, but not oppressed by fake heroes like before.26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?Hopefully goes the way she wants, but she has no plans if they dont, except to help Da/bi with his issues and remain by his side.27. What is their biggest regret?They don’t have any at the moment. Everything bad has been out of her hands up to this point, and she refuses to let it stay that way. She has taken her life into her own hands and doesn’t plan on regretting anything about what she does.28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?da/bi is her best friend and boyfriend, but Twice and Kuro/giri are good to her too. Her worst enemy is Endea/vor. She wants him dead as much as Da/bi does, even if she doesn't understand his motives for it yet. She doesn’t need much of a reason, though.29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)HOLY SHIT KURO/GIRI WARP IT S OMEWHERE ELSE30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)She has no family, but if Da/bi died, she would bury herself in her work and become very quiet and reserved, only caring about her goals to help people even more at that point.31. Most prized possession?Her watch. Toga gave it to her, or rather stole it. Its very high tech and helps her keep track of how much time has passed since she has healed someone, since she can only work within ten minutes of when she starts healing them.32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?She doesn’t hang on to very many of them from her past. She has nothing to hold on to. But if Da/bi gave her something... she would cherish that forever.33. Concept of home and family?The League is her new family and she would do anything for them.34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)A bit prone to tmi lmao, she’s seen a lot with her medical work so nothing much bothers her.33. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?She doesn’t consider much of anything to be a waste? As long as it gets her to her goal of helping people. Maybe some of t he things the League does feels like a counter-productive time waste, but not often.34. What makes them feel guilty?When she isn’t able to help someone, or has to reset the damage she tried healing, because she knows thats incredibly painful. She’s had to do it to herself a few times.35. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?Very emotional, following her heart type of person. She’s only analytical about her healing, but even that is mixed with emotions.36. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?Probably B ! Not super proactive, more go with the flow. But she does have goals she wants to reach, so maybe a mixture of both.37. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?Cuddling with Da/bi... >///>38. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither? Maybe a bit of both? They very much believe they’re right.39. How misanthropic are they?Very little if at all, since they want to help and reform society to something better, rather than leave it to fend for itself.40. Hobbies?Studying medicine, and spending time with Da/bi, when she is not doing things for the League.41. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?She never had a formal education, and taught herself every single thing she knows. She was never given proper quirk counseling either, she had to train herself to become powerful with her quirk and iron out her weaknesses. So obviously she finds value in self-education.42. Religion?Can you count Hero Killer’s ideals as a religion?43. Superstitions or views on the occult?Again, if you count following Hero Killer’s ideals as a cult thing, then shes into that.44. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?A lot of both, honestly. She’s very honest and open about w hat she thinks and feels.45. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?Villains lmfao46. How do they express love?Devotion, adoration, thoughtful gifts, spending time, supporting and helping the other as much as she can.47. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?She doesnt get into fights if she can help it. She’s better supporting someone else, like Da/bi in a fight. She can hold her own for a little bit, though, if its a close combat situation.48. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?Probably yeah, I imagine. She has lots of things she wants to accomplish and she wants to help people. She needs to be alive to see her goals come to fruition.

#I must have lumped 2 questions together but whatever lmfao #Chiyu #HERE IT IS #ask meme #amiiera

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