#i have so much respect for them mark is one year older than me yet he’s more responsible than i’ll ever be in the next 5 years

[unconventional-lawnchair]

There's not much Barty Crouch Jr content out there. If you don't mind writing about him, can I make a request? After escaping Azkaban, he serves his Lord to the best of his ability, but there is someone from his past that he still can't get out of his mind. A Slytherin and from a family of followers of the Dark Lord. They had a relationship during their youth. After many years, he finds her again. He always had a soft spot for her. But the reader (like Snape, a sort of spy) is secretly thinking against the Dark Lord and stays away from these things as much as possible, but she is definitely in danger. Things are complicated, but the strong attraction and longing between them cannot be ignored...

The Boy I Knew

Barty Crouch Jr. x Black!Fem!Reader

Cw; Y/N, obsessions, one sided love(Barty pining), Barty being unhinged. Reader is morally grey, Remus Lupin onesided love (Rem pining), sexual themes and scenes, mentions of murder}} Please tell me if I missed anything!

AN- this fanfic is now well over what it should have been. I am posting a fraction of the proofread bits as of now, as I realize this is probably not at all what you wanted and if so I am SO sorry. If you want more I have a pouch that just needs to be beta read

Wc-5670

Taglist: @defnotfrey @au-ghosttype

{. 1972 - Barty’s Year 1 .}

Bartemius Crouch Junior couldn't have been older than eleven when he first met {Y/N} Walburga Black.  A cool upperclassman, if only by a year. 

Bartemius, at that ripe age, knew only a handful of things, and two of those was how badly he wanted to be seen and known. He wanted to be seen for who he was, and known for what he would do. That's likely what drew him to you. 

At only twelve, you and your brother had made a name for yourselves, in much different ways. Your brother was popular, for his quick tongue and clever quips, his innate ability to get under anyone's skin and stay there. Those traits could be forgiven, and they always were, for his big heart and intense sense of moral. 

You, however, were known for harboring a few very non Black traits, like your intense empathy and your crazed thirst for knowledge. Even as a Slytherin, your loyalty and curiosity rivaled the students around you tenfold. Your bravery knew no bounds, even with all the wrongs you had been done, you were forgiving and understanding. You were seen by everyone, you were known for everything.

As he got older, he wondered where that forgiveness went. You grew cold.

When he was innocent, when he had done no wrongs, you cradled him in your hands like he was a gift. You looked at him with eyes you shared with everyone, so much care and patience, so much understanding and kindness. So if those eyes were shared with the masses, he struggled, but was determined, to keep them focused on himself at any chance given.

It was obvious to anyone who saw the two interact. Barty wanted to be witnessed by you. The halls filled with the judgeful and teasing murmurs when he found you in the halls.

“There goes {Y/N}’s prodigy.”

“Barty is off to find his guru.”

“That boy will never learn.”

“How annoying.”

Barty had never been ashamed of his declarations for praise. He knew most of the voices were bitter with jealousy. He would be jealous too. You were both so young, and yet even some older students looked to you like you were twice your age, yet every Friday when the tests were returned, you sat in the courtyard and waited for him. Your personal underclassman.

You would meet in the yard and he would brandish his flawless marks, you would praise his abilities in absolute pride. He had never had someone prideful of him before. Everyone knew him to be a mother’s boy, but he would challenge any of those claims. He was a {Y/N}’s boy, he'd tell them, no shame as students snickered and made their fun of him. He was never afraid of how much he liked you. How much he admired and respected you.

He would turn from the RavenClaw table and look to you after his announcements everytime, you would be eating with Lily Evans and the other girls of her group, but your eyes would be on him. You would give him a soft smile that drove him mad. He would return it with his own, the smile he would save for you. Just you.

When he was only eleven and you were twelve, everything was perfect for him. You focused your attention on studies, your friends, and of course, Barty. That's how it stayed for years.

He would reminisce in his cell, running his dulled nail along the jagged stone walls, carving intents of every minute that passed. Remembering all of the things he regretted most in his life. Losing your trust was where his spiral began. He was a foolish kid.

{. 1974 Barty’s Year 3 .}

“It's getting embarrassing.”

Barty was eating lunch with one of the many friends he had made during his years at Hogwarts, Evan Rosier. He was once again bringing the conversation back to you, as he had been for the past few days.

“You trail after her like a loyal dog. Has she even given you a hint that she may return your feelings?” 

“What feelings?”

Evan and you did not get along. You never had. When he first found himself growing closer to him, you voiced your distaste for Evan the very next day. Barty always trusted your judgment, he obeyed you without much of a fight in most cases. This was not one of those cases.

He figured you to be biased, your brother thought him to be a Death Eater and you despised them. Something he could never understand, you were a pureblood, a Black, you were a powerful witch, and you would never have to worry about falling for a half blood or muggleborn, or Merlin forbid, a muggle. You were smarter than that. He always figured. You wouldn't taint your legacy.

Not like your useless brother, who he could see even now, describing his entanglements with witches and wizards of any kind, to the other Marauders.

As the years went on, you and Barty’s meetings became scarcer and scarcer, they went from Fridays to every second Friday, finally, you now only met every last Friday of the month. Still, Barty clung to you with a desperation he never would give anyone else.

Recently, you had gotten into a fight. One where you expressed your worry for what could possibly happen to him if he got involved with the wrong crowd. Barty, admittedly, didn't respond in kind. He was furious with you. You questioned his company but pushed away from him, you questioned his morals and his standing on the war. He told you there was no war to him, there was no fight.

At the end of the day, he would be standing by you.

The answer seemed to distress you further. It turned into a match of shouts and desperate pleas of compliance. It caused a scene, people watched as you defended your standing on your side of the war, this fight you were having with yourself he assumed. There was no war. This was a power struggle.

Evan’s scoff snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up from his plate to his eyes. 

“Barty, half the school knows you've been in love with her since first year.” He hissed and Barty frowned. Would he call it love? He didn't think about it long before he had his answer. Love wasn't something he looked for, but he found it constantly. From the love he shared with Pandora, to the love he shared with Regulus, even the love he was nurturing with the brutish Evan.

No love in his body burned hotter then his love for you. 

He never thought about it because he never had to. Why would he? He knew you loved him too. He knew what you two shared was never anything that could be challenged. He was your prodigy. He was your prodigy. He didn't care for much, as long as he was yours. 

Evan snapped his fingers in his face and drew his attention back to him. He gave a slick smirk and wet his lips. “Come on, Barty, she's just a girl. You're wasting talent. Talent that could be used for someone who actually appreciates you.”

“She does appreciate me.” Barty challenged immediately, before Evan smirked and gestured to the Gryffindor table. “Does she?”

Barty turned just in time to see you, he never had to stare at a crowd too long to find you. 

You were sitting with your brother and his friends, side by side with Remus, sitting far too close for comfort. He was whispering something in your ear, making you giggle. Turning to look at him with the truest smile he's ever seen you make. Flashing your beautifully uneven teeth, your cheeks dimpling and eyes seeming to sparkle. Your eyes met Lupin’s and he took in your expression like he could die in that moment. 

Barty had never seen you smile like that before. He had never seen you look that way before. You had never looked at him like that before.

He hadn't even noticed as he began to bend the fork in his hand, fist tightening as he watched as Remus lean in and stole a kiss against your cheek. You gave a bigger laugh at this. Moving in to kiss his lips carefully. 

The wonderful moment you were having was interrupted when a loud snap sounded threw the cafeteria. Your eyes snapped over to the RavenClaw table, as did a lot of your peers. Barty had snapped a fork in half with his thumb alone. Before a professor could scold him, he got up from his seat and stomped out of the grand hall, and your eyes followed them.

You muttered a quick apology to Remus and he nodded in understanding as you scrambled to your feet to follow after him. 

He wished he could take every word he called you in that hall back now. He wished he had been smart enough to know that loving you with you in his life would of been far less torture then loving a girl who hated your guts. 

“You blood trader!”

“This! This is what I meant, Bartemius! My Barty would never-”

“You don't have a clue about me, you insolent heartbreaker! What of us, Black?”

“Us? What Us, Barty?”

That night he realized that no matter how genuine his love was for you, how deeply it ran, those times spent alone meant far more to him then it ever meant to you. You did stuff like that for everyone. 

He wasn't entitled to your love. Running his nail down until it was blunted against the wall. Azkaban could no longer do more harm then it already had.

{. 1974 Barty’s Year 4 .}

An entire school year. You and Barty didn't speak for an entire school year.

He kept his tabs on you, of course, because no matter what you said to him that day, you were still his person. Knowing how ignorant and how dangerously minded you could be, he took it upon himself to look over you. You may have been older, you may have sworn him, at one time, your loyalty and protection. But now, he had power of his own. He would repay you. He would repay and reeducate you, given the chance. With all the training him, Evan, Muliciber, Avery, even Snape had done? By Merlin’s beard he could do anything.

He had the mind to back that up, but he kept his power under wraps. You were always frightened by what you didn't understand, the last thing he wanted was for you to fear him. He wanted everyone to know him as fear, not you.

Never you.

When the school year started Barty noticed the shift instantly. He knew you like the back of his hand, far more than he let on most days, but it didn't take a genius to see that {Y/N} Black sitting with Regulus Black at the Slytherin table was odd. 

He soon learned of what happened between Sirius and his family, a right disgrace. Then to learn Sirius scorned you from his life for choosing to stay with Regulus, that was probably what started Barty’s absolute disdain for your brother. You had gone through training per Regulus. Saying before Sirius left he let it slip about you and Remus, trying to entice you to leave with him. You refused and your mother lost it. Walburga was a stain on this earth for what she had done. Even then…

It was all for the better, as he saw it. You don't need the impressions of Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Mary Macdonald, Remus Lupin, or any others that pour their venom into a perfect witch as yourself. He would make sure it stayed that way, even if it hurt you. However, he couldn't lie.

You always looked your best when you knew your worth. 

It wasn't just your routine that changed, you became cold to your old friends, dropping the Muggle borns and staying weary of the half bloods. You started to associate mainly with more influential Purebloods.

That meant him. 

He knew his father was good for something.

“Crouch? Would you like to accompany me to the library?” Your voice sang out to him, despite your listless monotone and drifting eyes. It was the first sentence you muttered to him in 13 months. Your voice was more reserved, your back straightened and your lips pouted. You didn't look like that 12 year old he knew, you were 16 now. Even in his depravity, he took notice of every lovely advancement you had taken in care of your appearance. Your mother instructed you with glamours and proper wear, even now wearing a black feathered choker and brandished a black quill. A family heirloom, Regulus would tell him.

Now, he hated your mother, there was no question about that. What she had done to Regulus was unforgivable, what she had done to you was cause for retaliation in his eyes. But Merlin, did she put you back on the path of greatness.

“Crouch? {Y/N}, my love, it will always be Barty to you.” He lit up like a child, voice sugary sweet. It was your turn to take notice of his change. He was still the same boy you met in first year. Endlessly obsessive, devoted, and excelling at all the things you liked about him. Unfortunately, also the things you hated. 

But, he was still your Barty in your heart. The boy you loved, the boy you cherished, the boy who charmed your soul in ways you didn't know possible. If you had to pick anyone to fill the hollowed out ache in your chest, you chose dangerously, Barty Crouch Jr would be your reprieve.

He was just older now. He was becoming a man.

Everyone knows what they say, about a boy and a girl, coming into their own together. Barty figured this was your love story, you weren't one to argue any longer.

He didn't care that you only seemed to speak to him out of necessity. When he heard from Regulus that your mother was making you pick your friends based on their social standing, any males to soon be a suitor, he was ecstatic.

He was remarkable. He was seen. He was valuable enough to you to not be a mere pawn but maybe even a queen on your chest set. To be used by you? It was worth every moment of the ache. All of this because his father just so happened to keep his filthy hands to the purest bloodlines.

That was his value to you. His blood, his sweat, his labor, and his mind. They were yours, no questions asked. He clung to your heel with new found determination. He would keep you on the right track, the promised one. The one that would ensure your children had the same opportunities. 

He knew he wanted this the moment he walked in on you and Severus arguing in the courtyard.

“You dare call her a Mudblood, you incessant pompous Half Breed?!” Your voice echoed through the halls. People watched in horror, some in absolute shock, the sweet kind girl they had grown attached to was a right monster now. Barty, however, was loving it. You were a proper pureblood.

“{Y/N}-” Severus spoke carefully, something about his tone was far too familiar for Barty’s liking, him addressing you by first name made his jaw tighten. He didn't have to say a word. You rectified it.

“Do not address me as anything other than Black, you dirty mutt!” You screeched. Severus looked stunned, the usually stoic boy looked broken. Barty watched as your eyes trailed over a shocked and watery eyed Lily Evans, he almost didn't catch you muttering, “You lost that privilege.”

He, of course, came to your rescue, as he always promised. Hand around your back and escorted you away from the fight. As you both walked down the corridor your path was blocked. 

Barty almost laughed, Remus Lupin. He was standing with Sirius Black, both staring threatening daggers at Barty. When you both kept walking, Barty shoved a path between the two boys, you hand a fistful of his cloak so as to not be left behind.

He didn't like how Remus’s eyes softened at the sight of you. He didn't like how Sirius reached for you. He walked faster, putting your sniffling form in front of himself.

After that, he knew he had you. 

You were becoming who you were meant to be.

~~~

He took his mark that summer, standing alongside your brother Regulus Black, Lucius Malfoy, Beatrix Black and Evan Rosier. They were at your cousin’s manor, in the ballroom standing side by side. He was as straight as a board, brimming with pride, smirking to himself and brandishing his left arm.

He could feel your eyes on him, from where you stood, next to Narcissa, your aunt and your mother. Waiting for him. 

Evan was first, standing beside Barty and holding out his wrist. When the wand hovered over his wrist and the Death Eater began to mutter the incantation, Evan let out a blood curdling sound. Pure brutish pain shot through him, leading him to fall back. Quickly held up by two other death eaters behind him.

When the wand brushed Barty’s wrist next, he hardly flinched. Tilting his head back as sweat gathered around his temple and neck. He bit his lip and let himself feel every sharp intrusion the spell took, letting himself succumb to the blissful pain.

When he returned to you, not standing to wait for dismissal like the rest of them, he wrapped his arm around your waist and yanked you in. He stole your lips for his own, making you give a slight gasp. You don't fight it, so he pushed further, letting himself taste your bottom lip and pulling it punishingly between his teeth. Through his high he was able to recognize and memorize the feel of your lips and the taste, in his mind, it was the closest to the gods he'd ever get. What was true heaven, however, was when you took his cheeks in your hands and kissed him back.

“Enough.” He heard your mother hiss from beside you. She shooed Barty away like he was some stray dog. He backed down from where you stood, licking his lips and admiring just how shaken and red you looked. Your mother, the hag, pushed you behind herself and hid you away from his eyes.

When you looked away and covered your mouth, he almost didn't notice how you also licked your lips clean. That drove him mad.

He had come to the conclusion early on, you were a temptress. A vixen. A damned Siren as far as he knew. 

Memories of that night, your first kiss, the moment he could see you falling for him. A proper man, worthy of the worship he planned to give you. Worthy of serving a goddess like you. It kept him up most nights, it was a high even the dementor's couldn't take away, but they did manage to warp his obsession from what he believed to have been holy, to the truth.

He was brought on this earth for you. Without you, he was nothing. He was rotting.

{. 1976 Barty’s Year 6 .}

The next year he took your hand and promised you the world. To his delight, you responded in kind. You began dating his sixth year and it was absolute bliss. 

It didn't last long, that bliss. It became a thrill.

Despite his power and loyalty to the dark lord, your mother favored another's for your hand. Particularly, Avery. His father came to your mother with the proposal, your mother liked his offer of the estate and your own power over the house.

You, however, much to Barty’s delight, were way too far gone. In your now secret meetings, where you would take you strolls along the city street, to the shop or to the boutique. You made a show of it; but you only truly left for Crouch Manor.

Where Mr. and Mrs. Crouch turned their other cheek as you snuck your way to Barty’s chambers. Behind those locked doors your love was dangerous. His whispers and promises of treachery against your family name were met with nothing less than desperate devotion and promises in kind. As your palms glided over his bare chest and his large hands found their way under your skirt.

His favorite memories were all locked away in that room. The room he made you his own, where his hands grew familiar with your skin in ways no one else ever could, where he found an affinity for you breathless, and where he heard you let out sounds no self respecting Black heiress should ever let out. 

He claimed what was his birthright, between your legs. Bruised your lips numb and left marks you had to charm away when you made it back home. Just in time for supper.

With the feeling of him still fresh on your body. The pureblood heir your parents thought so lowly of. The heir they didn't see fit to sit at that very table, was still there. His lips were on the rim of the cup you sipped from, his hands were on the arm rests you relaxed against, and his teeth and claws were buried into their perfect daughter.

{. 1978 .}

By the time you both graduated, you took your place at the table. Having fought to hold off your engagement to Avery, Barty took it into his own hands to get between the two of you. Every time you glance in the boy's direction, he shrivels in on himself.

“Barty?” You whispered between his greedy kisses, in the halls of the Malfoy manor.  The only times his hands could find your hips and his lips could find yours outside of his own room now. He was starting to see less and less of you. The war was in full swing and with his desperation for you was all that was driving him most days. 

Thinking now, he wondered what drove you. Even now, having spent a year in Azkaban, you were still the light he flew to, no matter how much it hurt him. He could have sworn, at one time, it was him.

“Darling.” He whispered low against your lips. You tangled your fingers into his hair, before pulling him down. He rested his chin against the curve of your chest and looked up into your eyes.

You bit your lip, running your thumb along his own reddening ones. “Do you love me, Barty?” You cooed.

“I do.” He affirmed, licking the skin you touched along his Cupid's bow, “I do, more than anything.” His voice was raw and rough, he pulled at your hold, trying desperately to kiss you again.

“Do something for me, Barty.” 

“Anything, Darling. Anything.” He muttered, eyes still on your lips.

“Be within my reach. Always.” You whispered before releasing him. He took your lips once more, pushing you back against the wall like the very prospect of not touching you in some way was physically painful. His hand traveled up from your hand to rub over the mark you took just days earlier.

Every moment like that seemed fleeting. 

The very next year, Regulus Black passed. He had gone MIA and your mother, despite her loyalty to Voldemort, commanded you home. It got worse when they officially announced his death.

You stayed locked in those walls, by order of your mother. He missed you dearly. Barty never wanted to be your hero, some great commander, he couldn't care less now about who else even knew his name anymore. He was older now, and he just wanted to be yours. 

So, it pushed Barty to work even harder. Anything to appease The Dark Lord, get this war over with, so he could return to the only true person worthy of his reverence. 

Without you, his life went by in simple clips of reality. When Voldemort fell, he was imprisoned in this hellhole, and even now, he found himself unable to let anything else consume his mind.

The dripping of water from the rusting metal doors drove him mad. No other sounds but the miserable screams of inmates and slamming of bodies against pavement. It was a torturous and hopeless place, some people preferred punishment by their own hands. There was suddenly a loud clanging of keys that cut his thoughts.

He looked up from the corner of his cell, putting his thumb in his mouth and sucking on the bleeding torn skin. The marks he had made on the cell walls marked his 354th day in this nightmare. His eyes locked with his father and his mother, furrowing his brow as he stood.

His mother two out two veils of a slug colored potion, his father had another potion in his hand.

Barty didn't stay in that cell to see his 355th.

~~~

{. 1994 POV Shift .}

“It's a bit cold, don't you think?”

Remus Lupin's voice cut through the fog of your mind like a knife through butter. He was right, of course. Even as the year grew warmer with the summer months growing closer, the astronomy tower always gave a pleasant and persistent chill. 

You were used to it, by now. Being the Astronomy Professor for almost twelve years. About the same amount of years you managed to avoid coming into contact with Remus himself. 

You had to give him credit, Remus Lupin, he was persistent. Doing everything in his power to get you alone. As if one conversation would melt away years of what you had done, the people you deceived, the lives you took, the lies you told… all in the name of a crazed boy long lost to the history of the wizarding world. For the family who was as faded as the family tree you used to tend to with your brothers, painting names and burning faces. 

As if speaking to you would somehow bridge a gap. A gap in his heart that still ached for you. It was never something he was able to understand, your persistent and endless love for Crouch had come out of nowhere for him. He couldn't look Sirius in the eye for a long time, learning he had outed your budding relationship. 

He took every chance he could, to reach out, to speak to you, it was met with closed doors and a reminder of remaining professional. 

“It is. Heading out, Lupin?” You muttered to him. You couldn't lie and say having him here didn't make you feel, in some ways, nostalgic. To the loving, caring, respectful girl you once knew. One with so much patience and kindness you shared it with all kinds of souls. Souls you've watched drop like flies under the man you swore your life to.

“I am.” Remus muttered but didn't turn to leave. You shifted on your heel to look back at him from the entrance of the tower. He had his hand resting on the railing, his palm thudding against the railing as he tried to gather the courage to continue.

“I heard you gave Snape quite the earful.” He hummed, walking deeper into your classroom. You thinned your lips and shook your head, turning away from him. He gave a weak scoff. 

“Could you at least look at me?” He pushed, his voice wavering. You closed your eyes and gave a deep sigh. Your hands moved to grab the railing.

“What is it, Lupin?” 

“It's not too late.” He whispered and you closed your eyes. His words were exact, aimed to cut deep and retrieve from you the heart he knew was there; it just had grown cold. “You could come back. With me, tonight, we can meet with Padfoot and-”

“And what, Lupin?” You spoke calmly as you turned to face him. He went rigid at your stare. “Live this wonderful life you have weaved out for us? Pretend that everything is okay and the last few years never happened?” You pushed and he closed his eyes. 

Anger bubbled in his throat with something familiar, jealousy and bitter melancholy. If he could hear you any clearer you would be cotton in his ears. Your words were empty because he knew you could. Put Hogwarts behind you and come back to him, come with him and Sirius like you should have done back when you wore uniform and not cloaks like proper professors. Nothing was proper about you two aching hearts anyway. 

Yet history repeated itself.

It always would.

“You know he's gone.” Remus started slowly and your breath caught in your throat. You felt your eyes grow glossy with grief and you placed your left hand over your heart. 

“I never thought I would be someone's second choice. To Bartemius Crouch Jr.” He continued. “I see I never measured up, did I?” 

“... I am sorry, Remus.” You whispered, your voice, for the first time in years, was vulnerable. It was careful.

Because of course you loved Remus. You loved him dearly, but no man would own you like Barty had. You were terrified to let yourself be loved with anything less than what he had shown you. Steadfast and faithful love. No one could challenge the status of Barty in your life.

Even in death his ghost reminds you of your place. Next to him. 

Once this was over, once Dumbledore had seen and used his worth in you, when you were no longer under his wing like a servant, you would go back to 12 Grimmauld Place. You would retire. And you would wait for Barty to take you back home. Let it be a year, let it be ten, you would return to him as promised.

“... What have you become?” He whispered to you, and your eyes finally raised to meet him. You caught your tears and quickly cleaned your face. Shaking your head you put back on your practiced and perfect pout.

“.. A Black.”

Your exchange ended there. 

Remus returned to your brother, you presumed. You forged ignorance when you were questioned by the Ministry of your brother’s whereabouts. It didn't take much for them to let you be, especially with Mr. Crouch Senior’s particular protectiveness of you. Probably a gift from Mrs. Crouch, oh, how you missed her.

When Barty was taken and your mother was far too weak to control you, you visited the Crouchs’ daily. You helped Winky with taking care of his parents, particularly his sick and fragile mother. You grew a weak repore with his father, though you despised him. 

As a proper pureblood you just silently reaped the benefits of what the world had gifted you.

Including your wealth. With the house of Black fallen you were left to be the soul heir. Though, the moment you heard of Sirius Black’s escape, you reopened your joint account. Soon, you heard someone was able to access it. It was true; your brother was alive and well.

That was the only olive branch you extended to him. 

Once the school year was officially over you returned home. To your modest house down in an old town just a broom ride away from Hogwarts. Feldcroft.

You returned home, it was uneventful. Until you opened your door. 

You were greeted by Winky, the Crouch’s house elf. That wouldn't be unusual, Barty had preached to her about how you were both intended. How she should attend to you, how she attended to him. So she would appear at your house from time to time, with gifts and food she had prepared for Crouch Senior that she made just too much of.

“Winky?” You called out to the figure in your hall. The sheepish girl turned to face you with a careful smile.

“Madam Black has returned! How happy Winky is to see you, mistress.” She declared and hurried up to you. Her path was cut short as Creature stepped in front of her, snapping away your bags. He seemed in a foul mood. Fowler then usual.

“Your mother would not approve of your company, Ms. Blaaaack.” He warned and you furrowed your brow. “Nor would she approve of this home-”

“Kreature.” You demanded and he huffed. Winky was always coming in and out, Creature never voiced displeasure with her company and your mother, well, she could care less. “What company?”

“The noisy Crouch, Ma'am.”

Your heart dropped. He apparated away, assumingly to unpack your bags. Your eyes widened as Winky appeared in front of your full view. Showing off the black quill you had most definitely left at home. Your mothers old quill. You took it carefully from the house elf.

“Winky..” You spoke carefully and slowly. Holding up the quill between your fingers. “Who gave this to you?”

“I think you know, Darling.” 

Before Winky could answer, a voice lost to time spoke first. You knew it before you even turned around. 

Still, you jerked your entire body to face him. Your eyes locked, full of longing and hope.

 And there he was. Your Barty.

He was holding a newspaper, licking his bottom lip but his eyes were on you. His eyes were just how you always remembered them. So full of danger and appreciation for your simple presence. He stepped towards you and you took a step back. He tsked at that, reaching out to grab your waist. “Darling..” He whispered.

You were still in shock. Staring up at his brown eyes and waiting. For anything. “Barty?” You whispered.

When he kissed you, alarm bells went off in your head. You didn't listen to any of them, grabbing him just as greedily as he held you. Both of your eyes closed and you held each other like you might perspire. 

He was home.

He truly was.

[rosietaeyongswife]

mission: prom | jung jaehyun

genre: fluff, angst, teenage romance paring: jaehyun x reader synopsis: what happenes when prom is in a month, and you haven't been asked out yet? wc: 7k tw: curses

Your father was looking at TV, when he realized you didn't come down for dinner. It's been already 30 minutes, since he have asked you downstairs. A little bit concerned, he went upstairs to check on you and boy, he didn't expect to find you sitting on the bed crying with your earphones in.

"Y/N?" He asked, but you couldn't hear him. He came closer and tap you on your shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry, dad. I got caught up."

"Why you're crying?" Your eyes drifted away from his, to hide embarrassment. "C'mon, you know you can tell me."

For a moment, you held back, because your father might not care, but it's better to let go of negative energy.

"I haven't been asked out to prom, yet." Trying to hold tears in wasn't easy. "It might be silly, but I wish I could go with someone. All my friends are going with their partners, and here I am. Don't worry, I just needed to cry and I'll be fine."

"Y/N, don't be silly. It's still a lot of time, and I assure you, there is a gentleman who is going to ask you out. I promise." He hugged you. "You're pretty, smart and funny girl. Who wouldn't want to go with you? Crazy. Don't stress about it, love." He got up and smiled at you. "Mum made pasta, your favortie one."

There was an ache in your father's heart. Did he feel heartbroken? Yes, probably yes. His little daughter was crying alone in her bedroom, because no boy asked her to prom. He wants only the best for you and wishes you happiness, and there's no way, you're going alone.

He never said anything, but he was thinking about it all night. What to do? And after a while, realization hit him. Your dad is a football couch at Seoul's University, so he's facing a bunch of boys only year older than you, daily. One of them could be good for you. Here come a list in his mind.

Yuta Nakamoto? He's Japanese, and he's just a year older, studying business at University. He's really respectful, smart and funny but he found him annoying. A lot of rumours say, he's a playboy and he doesn't look for anything special yet. Out.

Kim Jungwoo? He's tall, handsome, funny guy of the team. Jungwoo never fails to make anyone smile, and he's engineerer student so it makes him perfect canditate. But. He's shy, and boys were talking about him and some girl. Out.

Kim Mingyu? He's also very tall, handsome and mysterious. A lot of girls have a crush on him, but he's not the smartest among the team, and he has a temper. Sometimes he's too stubborn and it's not cool. Out.

As your dad was thinking about it, his hopes went down. Is there anyone, who isn't douchebag or dumb? He isn't going to set up his precious girl with some jerk. And then an idea popped.

Jung Jaehyun. Tall, handsome, funny and respectful student. He's studying business with Yuta, and a lot of girls have a crush on him and teachers love him. He's most polite person, your dad has ever met. Professors always praise him, because he always gets high marks and he's the best football player in the team. On top of that, his father was an old friend of your father. He helped Jungs in the past, making Jaehyun's dad, a professor in United States some time ago. Bingo.

On your way to classes, all you could hear was your friends bragging about their prom dates. It was annoying you, because you still don't have any date. Jealousy was getting over you, but you hide it as much as you could.

"Doyoung came with a big sign and flowers in his hand." Sohyeon said with a proud smile, showing you picture of her boyfriend. "I was stunned. Imagine, Kim Doyoung showing up with these things to ask me out, crazy."

"Jungwoo wasn't original." Jimin said with a pout. "We were hanging out at his dorm, and he turned the TV off. I looked at him, and he asked if I wanted to go with him."

"I mean, it's Jungwoo, we're talking about." You pointed out. "At least, he did ask."

"What about you, Y/N?" Sohyeon smiled at you widely. "I bet there must be some hottie. Tell us."

"Actually, nope."

Girls tried to comfort you, but you were aware of reality. Majority of people had already dates, and this wouldn't change much.

"I bet someone will ask you out." Jimin hugged you. "Look, I had no idea few months ago, I'd be dating Doyoung. I used to stay at home 24/7. And look, I'm dating him."

"For real, you can't stress about it. I mean, going alone isn't the worst. Many people go alone. It's fine."

"Yes, I bet it is. It'd just be nice to have a date."

"Imagine if someone like, oh." Jimin pouted. "Jung Jaehyun asked you out. Do you remember him? A year ago, everyone and their moms had a crush on him. He's literally the most handsome man I've ever seen. Besides, Jungwoo right."

"Oh fuck." Sohyeon nodded with a laughter. "He once asked me about a teacher, and I could fall because of his beauty."

"I've heard, he asked Chaeyoung out by getting on his knees with her favorite flowers in hand and sang her a song. Isn't it romantic?" Jimin and Sohyeon both were daydreaming about Jaehyun. "He never sings for anyone, so she must've been special."

"Wow, that's awesome." You nodded. "Do you think they're still dating?"

"Maybe? I have no idea, but Park Chaeyoung is studying law, and he's doing business at different universities. I hope they broke up."

"Why? You can't say that."

"C'mon, Y/N. He deserves better."

Park Chaeyoung was known pretty and popular girl among your year, just a year ago. At first, everyone thought she's nice and polite, but then it turned out she's the most fake person, that school has ever seen. If she didn't like someone, she'd turn their life into hell. People got to know, few weeks after prom and since then she left school to write SATS in another school.

The weather outside was sunny and warm, which resulted on bunch of men being sweaty and greasy. They've been running nonstop for past half an hour, and it was just a beginning of practice.

Your father was thinking what is he supposed to say to Jaehyun to make him agree.

"Jaehyun." Younger man turned around to check what's going on. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course, couch. What's up?"

"Listen, I have an odd question." He nodded. "You know my daughter, Y/N, right? She used to come here with me some time ago."

"Oh, Y/N. Yes, I know her. Not really know, but I know who she is. Why?"

"What I'm about to say may be crazy for you, and I understand if you wouldn't like to agree, but I'm desperate." Jaehyun was confused. What do you have to do with him? "She hasn't been asked out to Prom, and she probably won't be. I love her, and I can't bear the pain to see her heartbroken. Would you ask my daughter out to Prom?"

Jaehyun was stunned and he had no words. What was he supposed to say? He doesn't even know you. At all.

"I like you couch, and I respect you, but I don't really know her. I don't think it's a great idea, maybe you should've asked Yuta-"

"No. You're most normal guy here. Jaehyun, please. Think about it. I'll let you play in the main squad in semi finals. I promise."

"I'll think about it, couch."

Jaehyun wasn't sure what to do. At first, he was certain to say no, but your dad promised him place in the main squad on semi finals. It's his big chance right there.

After the practice, he went straight home and wanted nothing else but sleep. As he was about to shower, his father called him.

"Jaehyun, did Mr. Y/L/N asked you?"

"Oh, God. You too?" He hissed. "It's crazy dad. I literally don't know her at all. Am I supposed to show up at her door tommorow with a flower in a hand and as if she wants to be my prom date? Please. It's ridiculous."

"I know how it sounds, but you need to agree." He sighed and Jaehyun once again, was confused. "Her father used to help me to get a place in professor staff. Thanks to him, I could work at Harvard. He helped me, and it's time to return a favor. I'm not asking you to date her, son. Just one night."

Only two weeks until prom, and here you are with your mother and Jimin in a shop with all the beautiful dresses. The longer you were in there, the more mad you were. All the dresses you tried on, were either ugly or not flattering.

"Baby, I think you need to make your mind. There's plenty of choice. Pick something."

"I'll just get something black." You said with a grin. "Nothing else looks good on me, black is classic. And heels. Whatever."

Jimin felt bad, because you were excited just a ten minutes ago, but now you're tired. After picking a dress, three of you came to your home. Your mother was busy with conversation with your father, while you and Jimin were looking for makeup inspirations on Pinterest.

"I think I'm doing glam." Jimin showed you a picture of glam makeup on some girl. "I need to go extra hard, you know."

"Well, you should. I bet you're going to look amazing, Jimin."

"You too. Find yourself a good inspo, and we'll be slaying the shit out of that place."

After few minutes, Jungwoo came to pick Jimin up. Both of them are supposed to have a dinner date tonight. You waved them goodbye, but you noticed how Jungwoo was looking at you and whispered something to Jimin. She seems to be excited, but she played it off and left. Weird.

As you were packing your stuff for school, a door bell rang in the whole house.

"Y/N, open the door." Your father ordered you to do it.

It annoyed you. Both of your parents were sitting downstairs in the living room, yet they called you to open the door.

"Hi, who-" You stopped mid sentence. "Jung Jaehyun? What are you doing here?"

You got outside and closed the door after you. Jaehyun was wearing a black suit and he was looking really fine in it. In his hands were small boquete of rosses, and you were real confused at the moment.

"I came, because I want to take you to Prom together." He smiled and showed you his dimples. He also gave you the rosses. "Y/N, will you be my prom date?"

He was smiling at you, looking adorable and all you could do was sigh.

"No."

Jaehyun was baffled. He didn't expect such an outcome. You were supposed to be extra excited, say yes and hug him, thanking for saving you, and he was supposed to play in semi finals. And you have audacity to say no?

"What do you mean no?"

"No, I won't let you be my date, Jaehyun." You were smilling, and it didn't help Jaehyun to realize what's going on. "I guess my father must've asked you to do it. Damn, he really pitties me."

"It's not like that, I mean, I mea-" He was at loss of words. "You were supposed to say yes. I thought you still don't have a date."

"That's true, I don't."

Jaehyun was laughing ironically.

"Then what's the issue? Agree and you will have a cute date, and best time of your life with me."

"You don't even know me, Jaehyun. We were friends when we were, like, 5?" You laughed at Jaehyun expression, handing him the flowers. "I appreciate your efforts, but I don't want to go with someone who pity me."

Before Jaehyun could speak, you left. He was baffled on the sport in front of your door. He was theoritically dumped. His pride got hurt a bit, since no one has ever told him "no" until today. Not only pride got hurt, but his hope also died. He can't let go. He needs sport in main squad, it's his chance to become someone big.

"Y/N you're going with me wheter you like it or not."

And with that he left. He promised to himself, he's going to make you change your mind and secure a spot in main team.

It's been five days since Jaehyun has showed up at your door with rosess in his hand. You didn't tell anything about it to your friends, becasue they would get worked out over nothing. Sohyeon and Jimin were busy with their love lives, while you kinda stuck with them to kill boredroom.

"Wait." Jimin stopped on her track. "Isn't it Jung Jaehyun's car?"

"What do you mean?"

Three of you turned your gaze towards black Mercedes, that was parked in front of your school. Plates said exact numbers, Jaehyun owns.

"That's weird." Sohyeon chuckled. "What does he need from here?"

Before anyone could answer, tall male got out the car and was making his way towards you and your friends. Your hearbeat got faster, and you were about to faint.

"Is he coming towards us?"

"I guess."

You had internal battle with yourself, wheter to run away or stay still and die of embarrassment.

"Y/N." The way his voice sounds, made you even more nervous than you already were. "I came by, and I'd like to give you ride home."

Witnesses of this scene were baffled. It was some fanfiction shit in real life, because how the hell, is Jaehyun picking you up from school?

"I don't think it's necessary."

"C'mon. Don't be so lame, let's go."

"I can handle myself." You hissed. "Thank you, but nope."

"I won't ask twice. You're either coming with me or I'm tell-"

"Fine." You didn't give him a chance to speak. "I'll go with you."

You waved your friends goodbye and left with a weird stranger, who doesn't seem to let go.

"Why you're so cold, huh?" He smiled at himself, while he was turning on engine. "I know we don't know each other, but what's stopping us from getting to know each other? Nothing."

"Listen, I don't want to get to know you, alright? You're so annoying, I told you no. What part of my decline you didn't understand?"

Jaehyun was smilling at himself, because of how adorable you were. Annoyed and angry because of him.

"Because I want to be your prom date, how simple is that?" He teased with his eyes focused on the road. "I see no cons of that situation."

Listening to him was getting on your nerves. The next thing you're about to do, was to have a talk with your father. It was all his fault. You being in that car was his fault. Jaehyun getting on your neveres, was, also, his fault.

"We don't know each other, I won't go with a stranger."

"Then we'll get to know each other, simple."

As you were about to protest, you saw how he turned in the wrong way. It wasn't the road towards your home.

"I think you turned in the wrong direction."

"C'mon, did you really think we're going home so soon?"

"I want to go home, Jaehyun." You rolled your eyes. "I appreciate your effort, but it's nonsense."

Jaehyun didn't answer, but kept his smile on his lips. This whole time feels like an illusion. You're in Jaehyun's car, going God knows where. What if he's a psycho, who's about to kill you?

"Easy, I'm not going to kidnap or kill you."

"What the fuck?" Now you were scared. "How did you-"

"I can see it in your facial expressions. Believe me or not, I'm not into killing pretty girls."

"So cliche."

"And funny."

After ten minutes, both of you get out the car. The sight in front of you was quite mesmerizing. It was a lake with woods around. The views was impressing, but you had no intentions to say it out loud.

"How do you like it?"

"It's cool." You shrugged. "It's the place where you take all your girls, right? I guess it's a nice location."

"Don't be so mean. I don't take anyone here." He replied, going towars small bridge. "I am here once every few weeks. I like it here. Peace and sound."

"So.. Why are we here?"

"To spend some time together?" He was sarcastic, which made you even more annoyed than you already were. "You said, you're not going to prom with a stranger, then I'll stop being a stranger."

"Jaehyun, I wasn't joking-"

"What's your favorite color then?"

"Really?" You couldn't believe your ears. "You're asking me about my favorite color, God."

"Just answer me."

"I don't know. Red probably?"

"Red. Sounds good. Mine's black, since you haven't bothered to ask."

"It's because I don't care?" You tried to keep your cool, but Jaehyun made you nervous. "Geez."

"Another question."

"I feel like I'm taking a pop quiz."

"Good, that's the point." He leaned by the bench. "Why you're always wearing your earphones in? Ever since I can remember, you were wearing them since the beginning of the high school."

"I like music, isn't it obvious? I just prefer to listen to music to talking with people."

"So you're an introvert."

"And you're an extrovert, I suppose."

"Opposites attract, you know."

"Stop with this cheesy lines, Jaehyun. God."

"I like how you say my name. Cute." He smiled at you, and you tried to hide your smile. He wasn't that bad. "Do you have any questions?"

"Why business? I thought you're into different things."

"Oh. Well, my father made me do it. My plan A is to become a football star." He chuckled with you at your reaction. "My plan B, made by my father, was to become CEO and open own company."

"Sounds secure. Cool."

"I don't know. Economics and business is so fucked ubp. I baerly can do basic math and it's driving me crazy. College is a real deal, Y/N." You smiled at his words. He must've meant it. "And you? Your plans for future?"

"I'm not sure yet." You sat down on a small bench. "I'm thinking about either psychology or criminology. Both are interesting, but it's dificult. I don't think I'm ready for an adult life."

Jaehyun could only nod at your words. It was true, it is scary, but it can be overcomed.

"You're going to figure it out. I bet you're going to be good at whatever you're going to pick."

"Oh, thank you. How cute." You said with a sarcasm. "I appreciate your piece of advice, but it was shitty one."

"C'mon, don't be so negative Miss."

"Don't call me miss, that sounds weird." You made disgusted face. "I think you should drive me back home, my father is probably wondering where am I."

"Oh shit, for sure."

Ride back home was rather fun. Jaehyun was talking about all the times he had embarrased himself or fun stories he and his friends had. It seems like Jaehyun is really cool guy.

"Thank you, uhm, for the ride."

"You're welcome, see you around Y/N."

A little smile crept on your lips, he isn't that bad. Your father was doing dinner for both of you, when he noticed you.

"Was it Jung Jaehyun's car or am I wrong?"

"Indeed. He insisted, dad."

"Do you like him?"

"I bearly know him, please. He's not that bad, but he's still a stranger."

"Cool." He hummed. "Dinner will be ready in a few."

After small talk with your dad, you came into your room and finally checked all the messages from your friends. As you were about to reply, an outcoming call came.

"Hi."

"Why the fuck did Jung Jaehyun came for you?"

"Exactly, mind explaining?"

"I don't know, he just came by, I guess."

"Came by? Y/N Y/L/N, be for real. Why didn't you tell us both of you are talking?"

"Because we aren't. He's just an old friend."

"Doesn't make sense at all. Girl, we should've known before. Now, tell us everything."

You cooked your brows, because you didn't feel like telling your friends about Jaehyun.

"There's nothing to talk about. We met few times, and that's all. I swear." You tried to keep it cool. "I'm sorry but I have to go, my father calls me."

Sometimes Jimin and Sohyeon get out of hand. They're really annoying with your business, and you don't really like it. Relationship with Jaehyun could only mess up your and your friends.

Past week was really exciting for you. All the time, you had spent with Jaehyun. He literally made you laugh so much, and you had really time of your life. Your friends didn't ask much, they just let you do your thing. For the first time in a long time, you felt happy. Jaehyun brought so much joy into your life, which was cool.

"So." Jaehyun looked up from his cup of tea. "I was wondering, if I can be your prom date?"

You almost choked on your tea. The first time Jaehyun has asked you out, it was weird and funny to you, but right now it made you nervous to speak.

"I guess you can."

Jaehyun chuckled a bit and hugged you. You felt redness spread across your cheeks because of that small gesture. There's no way you're falling for him, right?

"See you on friday then. Make yourself look pretty, Y/N."

"I'm always pretty, dork."

"I never said you weren't."

Humming in response, you laughed at Jaehyun. Both of you were about to head home, he's living just five minutes away from you. When you opened the door to your house, you could hear your mother voice.

"But you can't just ask somebody to do it, Jezus."

"Please, calm down it's not like-" He noticed you. "Y/N, hi. You're finally home."

"What were you arguing about?" You chuckled a bit, but you still were concerned. "Both of you look weird, is everything fine?"

Your father took a quick glance at your mother, and then sit down on the counter.

"Not really, we were arguing about my managment of my football team, nothing serious."

"Okay then."

"Honey, are you ready for prom?" Your mother stopped you from going away. "I mean, it's this friday and I want you to feel special."

"Not really."

The next day, your mother took you out on a shopping spree. This day was all about you. Your mother was really happy that both of you could spend a day together after a long time of not doing so. Walking through shops was making you a bit dizzy. Dresses were elegant and beuatiful, so the choice was hard.

"What about this one, Y/N?"

You turned around to see a green mini dress, and you were certain it's not it.

"I don't think green is my colour, mom."

This went on and on, and what supposed to be a nice afternoon turned into a nightmare real quick. Your mother was annoyed with your choices, and the fact you haven't found any of the dresses cute.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I think I can help." A woman with a precious smile on came by. "My name is Jennie, and I've been working here for three years, so I have some experience."

"Thank God, I can't do it anymore." Your mother rolled her eyes. "Y/N be quick."

She then left to sit on the couch and check her phone, while you were on your way with Jennie. She seems to be a nice girl and she was really cool with you.

"I'm sorry for my mother, she's like this sometimes."

"Don't worry, things like this happens here daily, believe me. I know how to deal with it."

"Must be harsh."

"I got used to it by now." She smiled at you. "Here, elegant dress. Black and maxi, what do you think?"

"They're amazing. Wow, I've never seen anything prettier."

"I know right? Well, here's all the dresses available in black. I think black is everyone's go to. So let's take a look."

After ten minutes of going through, what seems like a hundred, dresses, Jennie picked one.

"That-"

"Is beautiful, I know." She ended your sentance. "Try it on."

It was black, elegant and slevless dress with a square neck. The dress made you pop and look like a princess. Looking at your reflection, you felt beautiful for the first time since forever. You felt like you, but more confident and cooler.

"Excuse me, Mam." Jennie approached your mother. "Your daughter was wondering if you might want to take a look at the dress we choose."

"Finally, okay."

Facial expression your mother had, was spechless. It was a moment where both of you went silent and just looked at each other.

"So, what do you think?"

"You look perfect, Y/N. This is the one, honey." She turned her back and looked at Jennie. "Can we get shoes too?"

D-day, here's your prom night. Jaehyun felt comfortable around you, so were you. Both of you have been texting each other about most casual stuff, as if you had known each other for years. Also, he was annoying you, because he wanted to see the dress, but you told him no. It's supposed to be a surprise.

A bell rang. It must've been him.

"Y/N, someoen's for you." Your dad called you, and suddenly you felt anxious. What if he doesn't like what you wear? "Y/N, c'mon."

Making your way down the stairs, you prayed in your mind for him to like it a lot. On the other hand, Jaehyun was mesmerized by your beauty. He couldn't take his eyes off of you.

"Y/N, you look gorgeous." Jaehyun couldn't take his eyess off of you, which made you blush. "You're killing it."

"Thank you." You tried to hide your face. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Sorry, my bad."

Ride towars the place of the prom wasn't silent at all. Jaehyun was talking with you about everything like usually. He also couldn't stop looking at you. For the first time in a long time, you felt appreciated by someone else than your parents.

Dance. Everyone who had a pair had to dance. Jaehyun learnt the steps in a day thanks to you. You couldn't tell who was more excited: you or Jaehyun. Whole school had eyes on you and your partner for tonight, but you couldn't care less. Tonight feels like a dream. It was all thanks to God. If it wasn't for him, you would spend the worst night of your life alone, but here you are with Jung Jaehyun.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am."

"Video Games" instrumentall started playing. Your steps were graceful, smooth and pretty. Jaehyun was watching your every move almost hipnotised. At this very moment, he realized how much he does actually like you. Jaehyun got attached to you by last weeks. To be fair, he was mad at himself that he hadn't had a chance to get to know you before.

"I'm one lucky man to be here with you."

"Didn't you tell the same thing to Chaeyoung?" You laughed, while Jaehyun silenced for a minute and let out a small giggle. "I'm lucky one. I don't know how did it happen, but I'm happy nevertheless."

Jaehyun eyes widened. For a qucik second, he remembered conversation with your father. He felt awful for a second, but then he let go. It doesn't matter. What matters is the fact he likes you.

"No, I told her something different. I guees." Both of you giggled, as you were making your way towards the tables. "I'm glad that Doyoung and Jungwoo will be here. I feel like I'm grandma among teenagers."

"You're just a year older, idiot."

"Still. Year may be a lot."

"Dumb."

Sohyeon and Jimin were really excited for you. They had never seen you happier than tonight. Ever since you've been hanging out with Jaehyun something changed in you. Like a small sparkle in you woke up. None of them knew the real reason why did Jaehyun asked you out. Their boyfriends told them, he was intrested in her for a while since Chaeyoung left the school. It was really believable, because you were one of the prettiest girl in the High School.

"So, Jaehyun and Y/N, are you dating?"

Jungwoo asked all of sudden, and for a moment you forgot how to breathe.

"Dude, I swear to God." Jaehyun rolled his eyes at his best friend. "Leave us alone. Are you alright, Y/N?"

"Yes, I am."

"So? What's the answer?"

Before Jaehyun could answer, you were faster to reply.

"No. We're friends."

Jaehyun couldn't explain why, but he felt an ache in his heart at your words. It was an honest true, why would he feel hurt? He brushed it off, and just nodded at your words.

Jimin punched Jungwoo playfully, and changed the topic.

"What about we dance? I hear Rihanna, and everyone is sitting down. C'mon! Let's dance!"

Circle of your friends got up on the dance floor staying there for almost hour. All the 2000s hits were blasting through the speakers, and you really were happy. Nothing could ruin your night. It's the best day of your life.

"I need to rest." You said, and sat down with Doyoung while the rest went for the drinks.

"Wow, I haven't seen Jaehyun so happy and chill for a while now. Did you do something to him, Y/N?" He chuckled.

"Nope, haha. What are you talking about?" You laughed at him, and took a sip of juice you had. "I thought he was always this happy."

"He had a rough time lately, and now he's dancing on the dance floor with us. Believe me, he would never do it unless he was drunk."

Doyoung's words warmed up your heart. The thought of Jaehyun being happier just because both of you hangs out made you smile. He isn't such an asshole as you thought for some time.

An hour passed, and everyone had a great time. Girls were dancing with you, boys would come to dance too. It's an unforgetable night for you.

"I need to smoke. Anyone?"

Jaehyun, Doyoung, Jungwoo, Jimin all got up and left. Jimin had to call her mother, while you stayed with Sohyeon. Your friend was really drunk, close to passing out.

"Are you alright, Sohyeonah?"

"Yes, yes hell I am." She was chuckling. "I feel great." She was stuttering, and you felt bad for her. "I want more."

As when she was going for another drink, you took it from her.

"Girl, do you want to throw up? Leave it alone." You were laughing at her failed attempts to get the drink from you. "Stop it."

It's been five minutes, and you wasn't laughing at all. Sohyeon wasn't chuckling or saying anything, she was almost passed out.

"I need to go to toilet."

Her voice was shaky, so you were fast to react and go with her. She was on her knees throwing up, as you were holding her hair.

"Who-" Jimin voice stopped. "Oh my God, is she so drunk?" She got on her knees, and took a look at her friend.

"Yes, she looks like a ghost. I don't think staying here more, would make it better."

"God." Jimin rolled her eyes. "Can you go for Doyoung? He should take her home or something. I'll stay with her. I know what to do, but she should rest."

"Of course."

You felt bad for Sohyeon, she has always been a lighthead. Jimin knew what to do with her, but you had no clue. You went by your table, but there was no one there so boys were still outside. Many people were going in and out, so it was hard for you to notice them in the crowd. Finally, you saw familiar sillhouete. As you got closer you've heard Jungwoo's voice.

"Are you still going to keep in touch with her? I mean, you already did what you've been asked to." Jungwoo was chuckling. "She's great girl, but do you want to?"

Been asked to? You felt as if your heart was breaking in two. What does it mean?

"I don't know. Depends."

"Ya, really?" Doyoung was laughing. "You got your spot in a team, and you says depends. Coach isn't going to be the happiest with such an answer."

"I mean, that's true. I like her but.." Jaehyun wasn't able to end. "I don't know how to explain this. I would -"

He couldn't end, because Jungwoo shook his head in your direction. Here you were standing with makeup running down your face. Crying so hard, you almost forgot how to breathe.

"D-Doyoung, Sohyeon is throwing up in the toilets. Take her home." IT was all you could say.

Three of them were shocked to see you. You've heard the conversation out of context. It seems like Jaeyun used you for his spot, but he didn't get to finish his true feelings about you.

"Fuck! Y/N stop!"

Jungwoo went together with Doyoung, leaving two of you alone.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Jaehyun!" You screamed on top of your lungs. "I knew my father must have asked you for it. I knew it. How could I be so stupid to think you did it by yourself! I'm such an idiot."

"It's not like that! I really like you, please. Hear me out!"

"No, I don't want to talk." You wiped away your tears. "I'm coming home. I don't want to see you anymore."

"Wait, Y/N."

Jaehyun was about to chase you, when he realized it's done. You overheard him and his friends in a wrong timing. He was about to say how much he does adore you, and how it depends on you and how you see him. Now it's fuckin done, because you know it was your dad favor.

Prom was supposed to be your dream come true, and it turned into a nightmare quickly. It's been almost a month, and you're still with your thoughts in that night. Your father apologized to you about thousand times.

"I told you to leave her alone! She could've gone by herself. Happens. It would be better than going with your boy. Gosh, what have you done?" Your mother was annoyed. "Now she doesn't talk to you and I support her."

"I only wants the best for her! That's it! I couldn't look at her being hurt. I wanted my little girl to have her moment, is it so bad?"

Jaehyun called you and texted you, but you didn't read nor respond to these messages.

On the other hand, Jaehyun was upset. Heartbroken. Depressed. He wasn't sure why did he take it so personal. He was sure he couldn't get you out of his head. Jung Jaehyun understood you and wasn't surprised by your behaviour, but he was selfish. He wanted you to text him back, to say you missed him. His friends were surprised by his acts, because he never was such a wreck because of a girl.

"Y/N." Your dad got into your room. "I may sound selfish, but I want you to talk with Jaehyun. Semi finals are this weekend, yet he's really not himself. We need to win and I know to you I'm an asshole but please."

"Do you really expect me to talk with him?"

"At least show up on our match. He would be better if he could see you. Please. It's important for boys and for me."

"I'll think about it."

Your dad nodded and left. Of course, it was obvious that semi finals are important for your father as a couch. But you were still hurt. It wasn't even because of your father and Jaehyun, but by you. How could you believe Jaehyun would liked you? It was eating you alive. Everyone knew you went to prom together, yet he wasn't feeling you. That's what you supposed.

The door bell rung. You were alone, so you had to open the door and you saw two men. Jungwoo and Doyoung.

"I don't want to talk to you." As when you almost closed the door, Jungwoo stopped you.

"Y/N, why can't you talk with him?" Doyoung asked desperatly. "He's a wreck. I've never seen him like this before. I swear to God, it was out of context. It was bad timing."

"Look, it must be hard, but the coach wanted the best for you, and Jaehyun? He caught feelings! Can't you see?" Jungwoo hissed. "All he could talk about is you and how much he regrets not going after you."

"We understand if you don't want to know him anymore. Okay. But please, Y/N, come on the weekend for semi finals. He has to give his best, but he's not able to do so."

Doyoung really was desperate for you. The look in their eyes could tell it was truth.

"I can come, but." Their eyes lighten up. "I don't want to talk to him. I'm doing that, so you can leave me alone."

Two guys hugged you and left. They were thankful for you.

Semi finals were about to start. Seouls University, coached by your father vs. Yonsei University. It's a big event among students. There were about thousand people at least. Whole area was occupied. Jimin and Sohyeon reserveted places for you three.

"Hello, finally."

"Here I am. Where's the guys?"

"They're going up."

You looked over at the field and there they were. Your eyes couldn't help but lend on Jaehyun. He wasn't able to see you. Deep down, you prayed for his best performance.

After first half it was 2:0 for Yonsei. Boys were throwing curses and were mad. Jaehyun couldn't score a goal at all. He was furious, and got yellow card for bad behaviour.

It was a break in between.

"You should go there, Y/N." Jimin said. "Jaehyun isn't going to score these goals, because he is still focused on you and he had no idea you came for him."

"I came because they all asked me-"

"Don't lie. We know deep down, you couldn't not come."

"Go, you have less than five minutes."

In your mind there was no other choice. You were running for your life to get down there for them. Jaehyun had to see you. You had to tell him to get it together. Tell him you forgive him, even though you don't want to.

"Guys, please! Focus! Jaehyun you are so close to score a goal, yet you miss every single time!"

"I'm sorry coach, I really try to."

At this moment you walked in. Boys turned their heads at you and decided to leave you alone with Jaehyun for a minute.

"Minute and I see you back."

"You really came." Jaehyun came and hugged you. "I'm sorry for everything, I miss you so fuckin much!"

"Jaehyun, get it together. You are supposed to be MVP. Please, it's important."

"I try to do my best but I can't focus."

"I forgive you. I forgave you long ago. I'm not mad about it anymore, so please. We're fine. Do your best."

"Thank you." Jaehyun wanted to kiss you. He needed that but your time was out. He had to go play.

The other half was different. Seoul University had ball longer than Yonsei. There was 15 minutes left and the score was 2:1. Yuta managed to score a goal few minutes ago. The longer you were watching, the more stressed you were.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Jung Jaehyun and Kim Jungwoo are running towards Yonsei. Wait, Jungwoo passed the ball to Jaehyun. He's close to scoring. Wait! Jung Jaehyun scored another goal! It's 2:2. One of the team needs to score another goal to win and to go to half finals."

Jaehyun did it. Just one more goal. Boys were faster, while Yonsei boys were already tired. They thought that your father's team would let go.

"I'm stressed. I hope they win."

Last 5 minutes. Jaehyun needs to score another goal. You were watching him closely. Mingyu was trying to pass ball to him, but he was blocked by the opponents. Yuta was trying his best to block other team, but it was hard.

Finally, Jaehyun was running as if he wasn't human. His speed was so fast, people didn't get what was going on. All of a sudden, Mingyu managed to pass to Jungwoo and he passed to Jaehyun.

Goal. Jaehyun did it. Time is over and Seoul University won 3:2. They're going towards finals!

"OMG THEY DID IT!"

Everyone was screaming and jumping. Boys were hugging each other and were about to give speeches through the microphones.

"I'm proud of my boys." Your dad appeared on the big screen. "I taught them well and now they won again. I love them as if they're mine kids. Congratulations boys, we got it!"

"Yuta Nakamoto, how do you feel after this win? You scored first goal for your team, you must be proud!"

"Fuck yeah! We did it! Again!" He was screaming. "We're not stopping anytime soon! We're not afraid of anyone, I'm sure we're going to win South Korea Football Competition. I know it!"

Few boys gave intervies until it was turn for Jaehyun. Your hearbeat was as fast as Jaehyun during the match.

"Jaehyun you won MVP today! You scored two goals giving your team to chance to move forward. What's your thoughts?"

"It's not thanks to me but thanks to the whole team. Our teamwork is amazing and we did it. We really are the best! I love my boys! I'm grateful I can do it with them and celebrate!" He took a microphone from a journalist hands. "Excuse me, but I have to say something to someone I hurt really badly. Y/N." Your heart stopped for a second. "I meant to say it long time ago. I think I'm in love with you. I know I was an asshole and now you're propably embarrassed as fuck, but please. I love you. I miss you everyday. I miss those little dates. When Jungwoo had asked us if we were dating, I'd like to answer yes. I wished to. I wasn't sure of your feelings. I know I fucked up big time, but please. Can you forgive me for real and talk to me?"

"Yes, Y/N, wherever you are, please come down to us and get your man!" Journalist shouts to the mic.

Your friends pushed you to make you move. You ran towards Jaehyun. It was crazy. Jaehyun loved you. He really did. You ran towards his arms and hugged him.

"I forgave you. I think I love you too."

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?"

Instead of answering you kissed him. Everyone was cheering for you, but both of you were too busy with each other.

"Yes. Of course, yes!"

[halfagone]

Before The Wayne Came A Kane

Martha Wayne née Kane came from a very prestigious family even before she married her husband, the illustrious M.D. Thomas Wayne. Sadly, her family never supported her union with Thomas, so she largely cut them out of her life once she married and that certainly had not changed when she had a son.

Her strained relationship with the rest of her family is particularly apparent when it's revealed, at the release of her and Thomas' respective wills after their unexpected, tragic deaths, that she would not give her brothers or sisters-in-law custody of Bruce. They may be the last of his living relatives, but even in death she would never allow them to touch her baby boy. Hence, his care is left to the head butler, one Alfred Pennyworth.

She did have two sister, though. Two baby sisters, one who had been disowned and disavowed from the family long before her, named Alicia. And one who was far too young to take in her son, even if Martha had allowed it. Her name is Madeline Kane. As the only other acknowledged daughter left from Roderick and Elizabeth Kane, she is left to carry the burden of her older sister's legacy. And what a burden it was, to be constantly compared to a dead woman her family seemed to adore and loathe in strides.

It's really no wonder that the moment she gets the chance, she leaves her family in Gotham to attend a university in Wisconsin. There, she meets Jack Fenton. He can be a little clumsy sometimes, but he has an eye for engineering and doesn't like her for her family's name or wealth. He calls her "Maddie" when she says so, and he doesn't ask about the change.

She falls in love and the two are wedded in the blink of an eye, Maddie pregnant with their first child only a few years after graduation. In her family's eyes, it just further proves that any Kane daughter is cursed and doomed to failure. (Beth understands this. Bette learns this. Kate knows this.)

And all too similarly to her elder sister, when her son is just fourteen years old, she is killed: yet another unexpected, tragic death. Her husband and her daughter perish along with her. Just like her older sister, the only one left is her baby boy.

Only, Maddie wasn't nearly as forthcoming with her will, and there is no guardian marked for custody in his papers. The Kanes, who proclaim they are his rightful family, are more than happy to take advantage of this.

Bruce isn't close to his family, beyond perhaps Kate. But if there is one thing that he knows it's that his parents didn't give his estranged relatives custody of him for a reason. Alfred is stingy with the details, but he can confirm that much.

Bruce is left to fight an uphill battle, helping a mourning boy heal from his loss and fighting his extended family's attempts for custody at every turn.

More ramblings under the cut:

See this guy right here?

This is Jacob Kane, Kate's father, Martha's brother, and Bruce's uncle. He's got the distinct red hair and do you know who else has red hair? Maddie. Jacob is a respected military officer and Maddie, in general, has always given me strong former U.S. agent vibes. But regardless, it makes sense that Maddie would know things or learned how to fight at an early age if her older brother left for military service.

Also, I just love showing Bruce's extended family and how twisted, complicated his family was long before he adopted so many children. And this also helps explain why Maddie is so cagey with her background. She only has Alicia left really, all the rest she keeps out and away for good reason.

But she can't protect Danny from them forever.

Plus, there's this really cool possibility for Danny to stay with the Kanes for a while and explore that avenue before he's ultimately brought into the Wayne fold. Danny gets to see what the upper crust Gotham elites look like with his own two eyes, beyond Sam's stories.

[mackjlee9]

Male reader who is Price's husband gets injured during a mission but doesn't tell anyone because he does not want to be a burden. So he fights through the mission with his injury. When the mission is over and the team is one their way to the heli, he collapses on top of Price and ends up needing life-saving surgery. 

I don't know what's up with me and making the reader collapse 🤣

This turned out better than I expected 😌

John Price x Male!Reader [Angst&Fluff]

Warning; typical cod violence, mentions of stab wound/blood, reader pushes himself through the mission like a badass and a dummy, night is reader's codename, near-death experience, mentions of surgery

Masterlist.

Everything was going according to plan, which was a little unusual and should've put (M/n)'s mind in a state of alert.

The 141 had been given this mission, arriving was kinda easy since it was pitch black outside, but they had to walk their way to the main building where the hostages were. This was a sort of high-level mission, they will all be by themselves once they enter the building, seeing as the civilians had been placed strategically around the whole structure.

They had to split up and be able to handle themselves for this one.

The information given was quite accurate, an anonymous person gave out the specific room where the civilians would be that night, seeing as they change rooms every day, and on some particular days, the enemy had more guards than others. The information was too good, but they had to go through this, saving the hostages was their number one priority.

And now, with thermal cameras, each of them headed to the rooms as quietly as they could, reaching their respective doors and using the camera to read through the concrete how many people were inside. The five of them checked their rooms and got ready to breach.

They had to perform this ambush at the same time to prevent the enemy soldier from calling in more troops as a backup.

"In position," one by one announced, keeping a stiff position while waiting to activate the breaching explosive. The last one in place was (M/n), he got the room further than the rest, pretty much on the top floor before the rooftop, he was more secluded and separated than the rest of the team, which had proved plenty of times to be dangerous.

Arriving at the door, (M/n) saw through the thermal cam that there were six people inside. Two armed guards and four civilians were tied up. Every room was similar that day, with low security as they spread the hostages in many groups of two to three civilians.

Such a small amount of guards was like nothing for the 141.

"Breaching in 3... 2... 1," the collective sound of unison explosions probably reached the four-kilometer mark, and now, they had to move quickly before backup arrives.

(M/n) took out the guards like nothing as they were caught off-guard, their ears probably ringing from the loud explosion.

"Four hostages secure," he announced to the team as he approached the tied-up civilians and leaned down to free them, "It's okay, you're safe now."

But something was wrong, the four of them started squirming in their places, releasing loud noises muffled by the gags in their mouths. They were clearly trying to tell him something, frantically looking over his shoulder.

"Shit-!" Before (M/n) had time to react, the sharp pain of a blade piercing his side made him stumble, holding his side for a second before he gripped his gun with both hands to block a second incoming attack from his aggressor. He didn't even look like a guard, he was just a kid, not older than twenty years, yet the look in his eyes was filled with hunger for blood.

(M/n) didn't want to kill him, but even after knocking him to the ground, the boy kept fighting under his weight, and if he wanted to cause the less amount of inconvenience to the team, he was gonna have to do it.

He glanced over his shoulder at the civilians who were half tied, half free, "Don't look-!" His yell got cut off when he felt a slash on his chest, just above his vest. The four people behind him did as told, closing their eyes and turning away.

Grunting, (M/n) kept his gun pressed on the boy's chest, dodging the aggressive and unpredictable movements of his hands to avoid being cut more, and reaching for his combat knife, taking it out of its holder, and with one swift arm motion had the boy under him choking on his blood, his body no longer putting up a fight, his knife buried deep in his throat.

Sighing, (M/n) stood up, placing his hand on the wall to hold himself up, feeling the whole world spinning, but he couldn't be weak right now, and even if he had a bleeding wound, he couldn't inconvenience the rest of the team, making them come up to him would only take more time than what they already have. And that could be fatal.

//////

After the breaching, they had a limited amount of time for the evacuation, and (M/n) has taken longer than he should've.

Taking the hostages out was proving to be harder than anything.

After hearing one of them shriek as a bullet hit the concrete wall, (M/n) gave them specific instructions to stay behind him or stay low and hide behind anything that could cover their body and block the bullets. They did as they were instructed, too scared about dying to even make their own decisions.

(M/n) struggled to take the civilians to the ground floor since most of the enemy troops were coming in from the rooftop, making him the one that was shooting most of them.

Thankfully, Ghost had been the first to have secured his group of civilians and had secured a safe spot for sniping to provide (M/n) some backup as he evacuated the building. (M/n) felt a little more relieved when he saw their bodies falling one after the other, taking the chance to guide the civilians down the stairs and out of the building.

He ran to the safe building while Price joined Ghost, now two snipers watching his back as he tried to regain enough energy to run the building where the team was.

The first evacuation helicopter took off with the civilians and they had to take the second one, patiently for (M/n) to arrive at the rooftop.

Even though his sight was blurry, (M/n) saw his husband walk up to him, and blinking a few times, he saw a small smile pull Price's lips up. He was happy that (M/n) was still alive and kicking ass as always. (M/n) show him a weak smile back, taking a wobbly step forward, before seeing black.

His body collapsed on Price, who held him internally freaking out.

"(M/n)! Honey, what hap-?!" His voice cut off when his hand came in contact with something warm and thick. Blood. "Bloody hell!"

The rest of the team rushed to their captain immediately, helping him carry (M/n)'s unconscious body as quickly as they could to the helicopter. Poor pilot, she got scared when she got yelled at, being told to fly to base as fast she could, because Lieutenant Night was in critical condition.

//////

Price was sitting outside the surgery room they had in the infirmary. He wasn't crying just yet, but his mind kept going over the doctor's words.

"He might not make it, Captain."

John has always been a man who sees in someone what others don't, and where other military personnel saw (M/n) as reckless and mindless, he saw him as someone who worried about his teammates over himself, someone who had courage as hard as a wall of tungsten metal. More than once he has risked his life to save others, and he felt proud of that, despite having been called a liability most of his life by his superiors.

So John knew, (M/n) had overcome stuff like this before, every time getting closer to never waking up again, but he would not give up that small spark of hope. His husband was gonna live, he was sure about.

For hours, Price sat on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs, but at some point, he didn't care anymore, his mind far gone to every happy memory he made with (M/n). They met in SAS when John had just become Lieutenant and (M/n) was a kid who had lost everything, finding comfort in the military.

Working together brought them closer, falling in love in mere months. They dated secretly for years until (M/n) got kicked out of the SAS, the higher-ups covering it as a transfer, calling him a 'reckless man In need of discipline'. Well, it turns out Price had asked for his transfer to the first team he commanded as captain, and from then on, they had been together every step of the way.

They had been married for six years already, dating for ten years, but every time they looked at each other they felt that spark of the first time. None of them could ever forget that.

Those moments made them feel like they could do anything, overcome any obstacle if they were together, feeling like the world was a little more peaceful when in each other's presence.

Price didn't wanna think of a life where (M/n) wasn't part of it. And luckily, he didn't have to.

After hours, the surgeon came out of the room, taking off his gloves, face mask, and robe, a smile on his face was enough to make Price's eyes prick with tears.

"The surgery was a success, Captain, he should wake up in a couple of hours," Price let out a loud, long sigh, his arms resting on his knees as he leaned forward, holding his head in his hand.

He stood up and extended his hand to the surgeon, "Thank you, sir, I owe you."

The man simply smiled and turned to head to the door.

"I'm just doing my job, Captain."

//////

By the time (M/n) opened his eyes it was almost midday, not that he knew anyway. His eyes squinted at the pain he felt all over his body, and he saw Price on the chair next to his bed, patiently waiting for him to gain full consciousness.

Well, here comes the scolding...

"Don't do that ever again, you hear me?" He said while standing up, leaning down to gently hug him, holding (M/n) close to him, and crying on his chest, "I was so afraid of losing you, honey."

He didn't have to ask (M/n) why hadn't said anything about being injured, he knew the way his husband thought about himself. 'I'll just be a burden to the team, John,' he would repeat every time something happened.

But this time was different. Price realized he could've lost (M/n) because of him not letting them know he was wounded, and tears were brought to (M/n)'s eyes when realized he almost left John all alone.

John looked up and held (M/n)'s left hand with his left hand, their marriage rings clicking together.

"In sickness and in health, remember?"

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

Mine

Click here for my masterlist.

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Prompt - ‘You saw me start to believe for the first time.’

Requested - @katsuniverse​

Notes - Happy Speak Now month! Request a fic for any of the remaining Speak Now tracks, click my masterlist to see which songs are left!!💜

The difference between you and James was that he came from a family that showered him in love, a family with two parents who married for love without caring what other people thought, a family that couldn’t care less about blood purity and keeping family lines ‘clean’.

Your family only cared about that, muggles were respected less than house elves, if you even dared to glance at somebody who wasn’t of pureblood descent then they’d be sure to let you know how much of a traitor you were to the family. Your parents didn’t love each other, they loathed each other, sure in public people believed they were the perfect couple but the reality of it was they couldn’t have a single conversation behind closed doors without it turning into a screaming match.

Perhaps that was why you and Sirius had been fast friends. From a young age both of you had known this life wasn’t for you, the prejudice and judgement coming from people who thought they were so much better than others just because they were purebloods. Both of you forced to attend the parties that were only hosted in an effort to show how superior one family was from the other, a similar one hosted the next week just to prove who was better.

You hated those parties and yet you were made to attend each one of them, mainly sticking with Sirius and trying to stifle your laughter as he made fun of the stuck up witches and wizards around the room.

Going to Hogwarts was the break you needed. Finally being away from your family, from their high class rules, their cruel words and harsher glares, the parties and the arguments. It was a relief to leave home but their judgement still followed you down the Great Hall.

You and Sirius traded apprehensive looks. Both the Y/L/N and the Black family had been Slytherin’s for as far back as anybody could remember, it was expected that you and Sirius would follow that tradition.

You had known for years that Sirius was determined to be in any house but Slytherin, promising that he would find a way to trick the hat if he needed to. You thought he’d be ok though, Sirius was your best friend and nothing at all like the Slytherin that surrounded you on a daily basis, you didn’t think it would be a struggle for him to be placed anywhere else. You figured he’d do well in Gryffindor, he was one of the bravest people you’d met after all, never one to back down even against his father’s fists and mother’s sharp nails that left marks after one too many glasses of wine.

You yourself were torn, of course you hated everything your family stood for, of course you wanted to break free from them but thinking that and actually doing it were two different things. You had no love for your family but you knew their disappointment would still hit hard if you were placed anywhere but Slytherin.

“Now what should we do with you?” The hat asked once Professor McGonagall placed the ancient thing on your head. “A brilliant mind, older than your years aren’t you? Cunning and quick on your feet. But not Slytherin, eh?  For as long as I can remember the Y/L/N’s have been Slytherin’s. Of course that doesn’t mean you have to be. No, no I don’t think Slytherin is where you belong. A brave girl like you belongs in…

Gryffindor!” The Hat exclaimed and you felt your eyes widen in shock, gaze immediately seeking out Sirius who was beaming at you, up on his feet and whooping as you forced yourself off the stool and over to him.

“Breathe.” Sirius whispered as the remaining students were sorted, you not paying attention to any of it as your mind flooded with fear of what your family would do. “We’ll be fine.”

You glanced over at Sirius who smiled at you, knocking into your shoulder softly and you nodded, taking a deep breath and finally focusing on those around you. Opposite you were the two boys you’d met on the train, the pale boy with scars scattered around his face and hands sat across from Sirius and the boy with messy brown hair and warm eyes was facing you.

“You two alright?” James asked and you watched as Sirius glanced at you before grinning, taking the attention of you for a moment.

“I’m brilliant, mate. Merlin, mother’s going to be furious with me!” Sirius exclaimed and you couldn’t help but join in as Remus and James laughed, feeling some of the tension leave you.

You were a Gryffindor. There was nothing you could do to change that, no amount of angry words or letters could change that now. So instead you let yourself enjoy your first night at Hogwarts, pushing all thoughts of your family aside as you laughed with Sirius and the two others who would all become your best friends before the year was finished.

Over the years James had watched you closely. He had known when he was eleven that you were special, had known you were important. You were one of his best friends, he was always going to look out for you.

At thirteen he realised he liked you, at fourteen he realised he loved you. He never said anything though, he didn’t want to risk losing you. Every time somebody brought up love or crushes you always shut down, tuning the conversation out and refusing to take part, it didn’t matter how much they teased and nudged you, you never spoke about it.

James had been curious for a while, he’d even gone to ask you about it a few times but Sirius always seemed to know when he was going to, pulling him aside and distracting him with something or just subtly shaking his head when James approached you.

It took a while but eventually Sirius realised James was going to keep asking you so he waited until you’d gone up to bed and told him about your parents. Of course James already knew about them, he’d watched you rant about them, watched you tense up when the family owl flew into the Great Hall, watched how you stopped eating and zoned out when the school year was over and you knew you’d be going back to them.

Once Sirius told him James figured it made sense why you thought love was stupid. His heart ached that you thought all relationships were doomed, that the only example you had was set by those who married for status and not for love.

James wanted to change your mind. He wanted you to see that love was real, that it was a good thing, that it could work.

He went to bed that night with his thoughts racing, knowing he had all summer to come up with a way to get you to believe in love.

By the time autumn had arrived James had created and thrown out more plans than he could recall. He didn’t have a solid idea by the time he boarded the train and sat down next to you, his smile softening when he saw how tired you looked, knowing how draining the summer was for you at home.

He decided then and there that he didn’t need some elaborate plan, he didn’t need the others to help him come up with one either. All he had to do was show you that counting on somebody, that spending time with them and letting yourself fall wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Here.” He murmured to you, the word nearly getting lost in the noise of the train, everybody excitedly greeting each other as they made their way into compartments.

You looked over at James, eyebrows knitting together as you looked at him. James couldn’t help but grin as your face lit up when you took one of the cupcakes James held out to you, something Mrs Potter had taken to making and sending him off with at the beginning of the third year.

You and James easily fell into conversation, James careful not to ask too many questions about your summer even as you asked about his. Sometimes you did talk about it but it was usually in the early hours of the morning when everyone else had gone to bed, you and him alone in the common room feeling like the secrets you shared there were safe to say.

It wasn’t long before Remus and Sirius joined the two of you and soon enough you were back at Hogwarts, happy to be back home.

“Come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?” James asked as he caught up to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder when he saw you leave the Great Hall.

You looked up at him with a smile, a smile that James loved putting on your face and swore he’d keep there. You didn’t move from under his arm letting him lead you out of the castle, if anything you shifted closer to him when the autumn air hit you.

“Don’t we always go to Hogsmeade together?” You asked, raising your eyebrow at him questioning.

“No, we always go with Sirius and Remus.” James told you and it was true, all four of you always went together unless Sirius was trying to impress a girl but that usually ended with him finding you all a few hours later. “I’m asking you to come with me.”

You stayed silent for a moment, feeling a wave of nerves run through you. You’d known for a long time now that you liked James. You hadn’t wanted to admit it to even yourself for so long but you couldn’t deny the fact that he was the one you sought out after a bad day, he was the one you went to for a distraction, he was the one you looked for when you entered a room, he was the one who took a weight of your shoulders upon seeing him after spending the summer with your family.

You loved James and it terrified you.

Nothing good could come from it. You knew what relationships turned into, you had watched as even the best intended relationships turned cold and cruel. You couldn’t have that happen between you and James, you’d rather never tell the man how you felt than watch as you and he turned into something dark and twisted.

And yet even with the sliver of fear you felt you had never been all that good at denying James Potter of anything he asked for.

“So,” James stretched the word out when you had gone too long without answering him. “Will you come with me?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you.” You told him, a small smile on your face as you felt excitement mix with your nerves and fear.

A few days later found you pacing the lengths of your room, thankful that the other girls had left for breakfast, leaving you alone to freak out about going out with James. You don’t know why you were so nervous, it was just James and it wasn’t a date.

Yet some hopeful, traitorous part of you wished it was.

“You know he likes you right?” Sirius’ voice startled you out of your thoughts and you whipped around to face him, glaring at him for frightening you.

You’d ask how he even got into the girls dormitories but you had long since given up asking how Sirius did half the things he managed.

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” You told him stiffly, turning away from him to busy yourself with rifling through your trunk.

“Come off it Y/N/N. He’s a good lad, one of the best, he’ll treat you right. What’s so wrong with giving him a chance? I know you like him too.” Sirius sighed, moving further into the room and onto your bed.

“Don’t you think I know all that?” You snapped, glaring at your oldest friend before taking a deep breath and moving to sit next to him, letting him wrap his arm around you to pull you closer and resting your head on his shoulder. “I just, I can’t Sirius. I can’t risk losing him, I can’t risk falling into the same trap every other couple we know has, I won’t jeopardise what we have now for us to end up hating each other.”

“Y/N, you’re not going to end up like our parents. They never loved each other, you know that. You won’t be dating James because you’ve been ordered too, because he’s a pureblood who only calls about popping our heirs and looking good to other purebloods. Neither of you care about that stuff.” Sirius told you softly, resting his head on yours and letting his eyes fall shut as silence washed over the two of you.

“I really like him.” You finally confessed, voice barely louder than a whisper but Sirius heard, a sad smile spreading across his face.

“I know you do. Go out with him, enjoy yourself, let yourself be happy.” Sirius said and you nodded, taking a moment to gather yourself before pulling yourself off the bed.

“See you later?” You asked as you slipped a robe on, ducking into the bathroom to check yourself one last time.

“I wanna hear all about it!” Sirius grinned as you rolled your eyes, heading down to the common room and seeing James waiting for you.

“You ready?” He asked, a smile spreading across his face as he saw you and you smiled back nodding. “You look beautiful by the way.”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, your smile turning shy as you ducked your head, following him out of the common room.

“Thank you.” You said softly, suddenly so unsure how to act around James despite having been friends for years. “You look good too.”

The walk through Hogwarts was silent, James wondered if he was making the right call. He knew how nervous you were, Sirius had been distracted all morning and only settled once he announced he was going to check on you. Your fears were clearly deeper than he had originally thought but then he looked over at you and knew he would never regret this.

He just had to hope you didn’t regret it either.

“You remember the first time we came here?” James asked you with a smirk, watching as you rolled your eyes again but your smile widened and that’s all James needed.

“I’d known you for two weeks, you can’t blame me for being cautious!” You defended yourself, James laughing and the sound made you relax a little bit.

“You were terrified.” James grinned and you nudged his shoulder.

“We were eleven, who gives an eleven year old an invisibility cloak?”

“I told you we’d make a rebel out of you.” You and James continued talking and laughing, reminiscing on your years at Hogwarts until you were completely relaxed, no nerves or fear running through you as you let yourself fall into the familiar comfort of James’ company.

After that day at Hogsmeade you decided not to overthink every decision you made. Of course one outing didn’t automatically fix everything you believed but you were willing to at least follow Sirius’ advice of giving it a try. You were still terrified of losing James, of turning into your parents but you also really wanted to be with James.

So one outing turned into two then three until months had passed and you and James were spending all your free time together, of course that didn’t deviate from your usual schedule but this year it was different. This year it was filled with shy glances and gentle brushing of hands which neither of you were brave enough to grab, it was filled with sneaking out and wandering the grounds together, of somehow getting to know each other more which you hadn’t thought possible.

Tonight the two of you sat outside by the black lake, James had enlisted the help of the others to make a picnic, getting as much food as the house elves would give them and setting up a spot for the two of you.

The food had long since been eaten and the sun was finally beginning to set. James rubbed his hands on his thighs, desperately trying to remember the speech he had planned earlier but coming up empty each time.

You looked out at the water, at some point you had shifted closer to James and rested your head on his shoulder. If somebody would have told you you’d be here months ago you’d have laughed in their face but now it felt right, everything about these last few months felt right.

Falling in love with James Potter felt right.

“You okay?” You murmured softly, not wanting to disturb the peace but James had been quiet for a while now and you hadn’t missed how nervous he’d seemed throughout dinner.

James wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was amazing, he was sat with the girl he loved leaning against him, so happy for every second he got to spend with you and yet he was also nervous because he was so desperate to tell you how he felt, needing you to know that he loved you, to know you were his world.

“James?” You said again, moving so you could look over at him.

“I love you.” James blurted out, his eyes widening at the same time as yours did.

He hadn’t meant to say that, well ok he had but he had a whole speech, he was going to ease you into it. The last thing he wanted was to scare you off and have you leave him.

“James,” You said softly, shocked at his words that left you equal parts nervous and overjoyed.

“No, wait, just let me…” James trailed off with a sigh before sitting up and turning to face you properly. “I know you don’t think this is going to work, I know you look at your mum and dad and hate what they have but that’s never going to be us. We’re choosing each other because we want to, not because of something as stupid as blood purity. I know you're scared but let me show you how good we can be.”

James watched you closely, part of him expected you to bolt but then he watched your face soften into a smile, he watched as the tension that had built in your shoulders left and you looked at him like it was your first time really seeing him.

James Potter was watching you believe for the first time.

Believe in him, believe in love, believe that he could be the one for you, believe that it wouldn’t end in spite and hatred but it could just be love.

“I love you too.” You finally said and James let out a surprised laugh, a grin spreading across his face as he stared at you.

You were in love with him.

“Can I please kiss you?” He asked, his voice coming out more of a beg causing you to laugh softly as you nodded, shifting closer to him and savouring the feeling of his palm cupping your cheek, memorising the way his thumb ran across your cheekbone as he held you like you were a prized possession.

“I really love you.” He murmured before pressing his lips to yours.

He had been waiting for so long to kiss you and now that he finally knew how your lips felt against his he knew he’d never be able to go without. One taste and he was addicted. The kiss was soft but eager, the two of you gripping each other, desperately trying to get as close as you could.

When you finally pulled away you were both panting for breath, James rested his forehead against yours to keep you close to him, not ready to let you go yet.

“So you’ll be mine then?” James asked breathlessly and you couldn’t help but smile brightly at him as you nodded. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this, I’m gonna spend the rest of our lives proving this will last, that it will always feel this good.”

You really hoped James was able to keep his promise, the way he made you feel in this moment was enough to push any doubts out of your head. How could something that feels this beautiful ever turn into something so dreadful? You wanted to believe that love wasn’t like that and you were more than happy to let James be the one to prove it to you.

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Thank you so much for reading!💜

[ewanmitchelll]

Imagine Taylor Swift’s songs (XVII): Anti-Hero.

Imagine Aemond is the King of Westers when you, a Greyjoy, rebel against his rule on behalf of a pretender to the throne.

Warnings: lots of drama, angst; smut, fluff ending like always.

***

•I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser. Midnights become my afternoons when my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room.

Just as Aemond lands, rain begins to fall. Storms usually bring bad omens, but he takes his time in going back inside. He knows he’s expected and yet the prince has no need to rush inside.

His hair is soaked as well as his leather robes. Nevertheless, he acts as if he’s been barely touched by the foul weather. Iron doors are pushed so Aemond walks inside. The moment he does Ser Criston Cole greets him.

“I salute you, lord. It appears you bring me bad news.”

“Has my grave look delivered it?”

Aemond doesn’t show him any emotion.

“The king lays in his deathbed and has requested your presence.”

Tragedy has marked the few years since his older brother won his crown upon the longer period of time spent fighting Rhaenyra and her children. Madness followed when sweet Helaena went on her free will to the grave once the twins were bitterly deprived of their lives.

Because Lucerys had to be avenged for what Aemond caused. Their mother, some would whisper, did not last longer either. Victory came when most of the greens were buried and the blacks were dead and gone.

Now all that has remained is Aemond, recently a widower after his lady wife, the unpopular Alys Rivers, died in childbirth, preventing the greens to continue their lineage since their unborn child never breathed their first breath.

He tries not to dwell in the dark waters of the past if he does not wish to be drowned in the worst depression that could make any sane man sink into it.

But a path of blood has led him to this moment. One that he always desired. At what cost, though?

“I shall see him. No need to show me the way.”

Ser Criston doesn’t seem pleased with the cold remark of the prince who has been like a son to him, but the knight knows his place and lets him be.

Aemond soon takes the stairs and in this state, he walks to his oldest brother’s privy chambers. Once he gets in, unannounced, the silver haired prince is surprised by the bad smell that comes in.

It’s the smell of death.

“Brother”, the ghostly, pained voice reaches his ear in a most unpleasant way.

Aegon II is prostrated unhealthily in bed, the opposite of what his young self used to be. The weight of the crown costed much, but no price was high enough to restaure his sanity, health or, worse perhaps, his glorious past. In his eyes, there is nothing but the disgrace of another kinslayer, consumed by remorse.

A terrible sight to behold.

“My king”, he bows his head.

“Even in my darkest hour you are tied to formalities”, Aegon snarls in disdain. “It should have been you here, not me.”

“Time has always been a great thief, on that we agree, but do not think the shadow of death will not be casted upon me”, responds Aemond in a whisper.

“I should have been wiser”, says Aegon with eyes blurred by tears. “The older I grew, poorer were the decisions made.”

Aemond doesn’t know what to respond, opting for silence. In truth, he’s always been more of a soldier than a general. Always one to follow orders than give them. Or perhaps the civil war has led him to shape this perspective of himself.

“What good is there to think of what should or could have been done? The past is there for a reason.”

“How can you be so cold?!”

“I am being reasonable, logical even. Where is the need of being sentimental when pointing facts?”

“The woman whom you fought so hard has died! And here you are!”

Out of respect for the dying king, Aemond doesn’t pick this battle to fight. Not again. Not now.

“The crown is yours to use. But there is one thing you must be told before I’m gone…”

Aemond steps closer now, accustomed with the bad smell. The heat of the fireplace seems unwelcoming now that he’s friends with the cold.

“Yes?”

“Not every kin has perished in the war”, he murmurs.

“What the hell are you talking about?”, this is the first time in a while that Aemond has shown some emotion.

Aegon smirks at his brother, pleased to get him some reaction.

“Two of Rhaenyra’s sons are living”, but for some reason the dying king thinks it’s not his problem to give Aemond their whereabouts. Or perhaps this is remorse for all that he’s done.

Who knows? Who could tell what’s in his mind?

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…”

“I am not”, and as if he is suddenly tired of living, Aegon coughs.

Aemond spots blood in his brother’s mouth, but by now his heart and mind are divided in between genuine concern over Aegon, his last remaining family, and the whereabouts of possible pretenders to his throne.

“Aegon…”

“Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, brother.”

That being said, Aegon’s life has been turned into nothingness. The old king is dead. Long live the new king.

***

• I should not be left to my own devices. They come with prices and vices. I end up in crisis (tale as old as time). I wake up screaming from dreaming. One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)…

You stand in black leather robes by your father’s side the moment a messenger enters the great salon. Outside waves hit the shore violently, announcing a tempest that has been forming in the past twenty and four hours. Clouds have been obscuring the skies, but only by this twilight they’ve been producing electric sounds.

A lightening is heard.

“Well, lord. Under hospitality laws you are welcomed in this household”, says the chieftain of the House Greyjoy. “What news do you bring us?”

The messenger inspires some sympathy in you. He’s younger than your youngest brother and appears to have been made of summer. He knows naught of the perils that coming to Pyke might indulge him. But to his fortune Lord H/N Greyjoy is the head of the House at the moment, which means that he knows the aforementioned laws and would never harm a messenger.

“We have a new king”, by his accent you know he comes from a mid noble house of King’s Landing. “Aegon, second of his name, has died and transmitted the crown to his successor. His brother, lord Aemond Targaryen, is now the new king.”

“Ah”, says Lord H/N, playing with the knife. “A usurper following another usurper. Why does he care about us, often ignored by most Targaryens? Is he familiar that our laws somewhat differ even though we have been paying tribute and homage to them for a while?”

The poor messenger is sweating cold. You think wise to interfere when Lord H/N smiles benevolently.

“Young man, as bad reputed as my house is, we are honorable. At least I like to think my kin and I are. The laws of hospitality mean a great deal to us. But I appreciate the message you delivered us. I presume this means Lord Aemond is expecting that we submit to him as our overlord and king.”

The boy swallows again in relief. You see he’s considering correcting your father for the misuse of titles, but opts not to ruin his fortune.

“Aye, lord. The time to pay homage is soon.”

“Indeed it is”, your father strokes his chin. “These are the days I miss King Viserys. Many took him for a fool, but peacekeeping is the product of hard work. This is what made him a good king. And His Grace respected us, the houses that made his reign proper to rule.”

Then he stands, indicating the time to talk has come to an end.

“Tell lord Aemond that we recognize no king but the one who attends the name of Aegon III, son of the formidable Lord Daemon Targaryen and the queen who should have been, Rhaenyra.”

The warning is done. When the messenger leaves, you pity the poor lad’s fate. As you see the wind whirling against the sea, you say:

“The bad omen is sent by the God.”

It’s your elder brother, your father’s heir, who says:

“What do you understand of such things?”

You shoot him a gaze as if you are speaking with someone whose comprehension equals that of an ant.

“Great tempests like the one that’s been forming is hardly favorable. It is known.”

“A bad omen for the self pretentious new king”, you hear your father correct you. “This is our God preparing us for war.”

“War”, your brother repeats. “Was it necessary, father? We do not know whether the offspring of Queen Rhaenyra are alive.”

“They are”, lord H/N says in a tone that makes clear he knows many more things than he’s letting show. And here is how the schemes begin. “However, we must test the new king’s forces.”

Looking at you, his favored daughter, the head of Pyke says:

“Take with you a great number of men. You do well in tempests like this. The new king will assemble his army, but he’s not foreseeing our attack against his shores, assuming we are going to Lannisport again.”

You nod, unquestioning. Another brother, however, meddles:

“Is it prudent to underestimate the usurper, sire? He collects epithets that make quite a powerful sobriquet.”

“Words as those are meant to break fools by creating unreasonable fear of a man who is just that: a man.” And giving you a look, he says: “You may go.”

You hide away your fears, taking his orders. Unlike your brothers, you don’t question your father and you have no taste for blood. Though sensitive you may be—grieving the loss of your sister springs ago when she was forced to marry a green partisan only to die in childbirth and that of your mother by melancholy made you deal with your rage through violent seas—, you hide away your true self off the eyes of others.

Despite the beauty that brings admirers to your side, iron is set above it so though you never caused any death directly, you had enough power to bring it—which only means how fearful to some you can be, not to mention the protection and favor you have of the family.

Now here you are with the men under heavy rain. It’s time to scheme. Despite the bad feeling you bear with you—the fights you won previously during the civil war for the blacks usually occurred in calm sea, not amidst violent waves—, what else is there to do but to obey your father and overlord?

You turn at the ship and instruct your loyal men to follow you. But you do not enter in it before praising the God you serve and yelling after taking a long sip of wine:

“What is dead may never die!”

***

• It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. At tea time, everybody agrees. I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Aemond’s coronation may have happened with no issues, but brought vices of temper that were not sufficiently tamed during his days of prince. One of which was the obsessive search for the lost sons of Rhaenyra.

Amidst this inconclusive search, the wolves of Winterfell are threatening to revolt at the same time the Krakens of Pyke delivered the message of subtle warning of war.

In spite of the circumstances, he is more than acutely aware of the fragile state of his kingship. This is the time to show his subjects he is not like Aegon.

Nay. He is better.

All the whilst the whereabouts of his nephews remain inconclusive and unknown, Aemond concentrates in issues that expect pragmatism of his part.

The North can still be dealt with the use of diplomacy and he sends his Hightower cousin to Winterfell with gold and an arrangement that works for his cause—presumably a match between a daughter of Lord Cregan and his envoy himself since Aemond has no desires in remarrying.

However, the Greyjoy assault assumes preoccupying colors. What could possibly lead an old house to open rebel against his rule?

“This is easy to resolve”, he shares his thoughts with Ser Criston Cole. “Their fleet will burn with fire and blood.”

Aemond does not fantom how the glory of his moment, albeit with a bloody path that brought him there, can be eclipsed by the refusal of a general acceptance of his rule.

Leaving personal vanities aside, cleaning his judgement of probable vices, the new king understands that the civil war of years ago has not yet been put to an end.

As he watches from the Red Keep the storm outdoors, calmly and steadfastly, a part of him comprehends that he may not be the best loved king time has witnessed and the pen of the maesters registered, but duty is what will always impel him to do what’s best.

If those will not see it through his good, may they see through his worse.

*

You cling onto optimism under the advantage that this is a surprise attack well coordinated, not a spontaneous sack in search for gold, nor an occasion fighting with random pirates.

This is not, however, a mere thirst for adventure being satisfied. The purpose, although ignored by you in great measure, is bigger than what your reason can conceive.

Perhaps you lack ambition to fight your wars, to be manipulated by your father like your brothers accuse him of doing—but what other choice do you have? He’s never treated you unkindly nor forced you upon an unwanted marriage, giving you liberty to do as it pleased you as long as you’d not forget your duties to your house.

You had your mother and your sister to tame your worse tendencies—whether to be slaved by the passions of the flesh or under the sins of pride—, some of which you’ve learned to repress. Now, however, you are where you belong. In the midst of chaos.

You do not like to fight it or to shed blood. To waste lives is a purpose you take no pride of. But leading others to it… or letting them choose to do what circumstances impel them to do so… this is what you are born to do. This is what makes most men fear you, comparing you to your father.

But they don’t see that, underneath this iron, there lies something pure and good. Sensitive. Aiming to be seen, aiming to be truly free of the duty that ties you to your family.

For however loved or useful you may be to your father, you are still under his command. Even here, even now.

However, it would have been prudent to question it, to have followed your instincts. For you have forgotten, or perhaps not have been told, that a storm never stopped King Aemond of flying his great legendary beast.

Waves clash against the ships, threatening to drown the men in them, or perhaps, as you hopefully attempt to see, leading you all to your destination.

But you miss a great shadow following above clouded skies. The night looks longer and deadlier, specially when it’s heard a roar right when a lightening bolt hits the ocean.

It doesn’t take long before you and your men pale as a shadow of the largest creature you’ve ever put your eyes on is casted upon the ship. You yell orders to separate the ships, with each carrying a beast to put it down.

The rain is too strong now and thus muffles your commands. To worse all, fire comes from above. Two of your ships are gone. You try not to succumb to your fear, soon leading the ship yourself. The desperation of your men is heard, but you try not to let the sound shake your core to join them in frustration.

Some of them opt to jump into the arms of the Drowned God and you cannot blame. But as you try to flee out of the dragon’s grasp, to your dismay you spot an outstanding number of fleet coming to your direction.

You flush violently.

“Fuck, we are ruined! This mission has been…”, your voice dies out. What is there to say? Has your father sent you to a trap?

“What should we do, lady Y/N?”, the second in command asks you.

“Never surrender”, your pride takes the iron shield back to surface. “If we must die, so be it.”

Aemond, however, has other plans. Despite burning and leading his own men to suffocate your rebellion before it reaches land, he wants to imprison the leader of it, which means you.

Soon, your ship is bombarded—and you watch as the king’s men slay all of yours, but you.

“Why are you sparing me?”

To no avail you seek death or protest. As if you are nothing, Lannister men hold you tight, removing you from the wrecked ship. By then you do not know whether you are weeping or the rain is washing your face. What difference is there?

You understand death is coming to you soon or later. Realizing that gives you strength, but paradoxically descend into melancholy.

***

• Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on the hill too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city, pierced through the heart, but never killed…Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

Aemond’s victory upon the two threats against his rising reign leaves him comfortable to deal with upcoming events. Whilst there is no indication that only the names of his nephews are alive in the memory of his enemies, with no bodies found he focus in the real threats and these have been placated.

But curious in meeting the leader of what he judges to be a piracy house, he expects to see you soon. Barely he knows, as well as you, what will result of this.

In the meantime, as comfortable as you are in new robes and in fancy quarters of the Red Keep, protected from the storm that is still daunting outdoors, you have your nightmares to deal with.

The sounds of the men screaming as they either embraced death willingly or were deprived of their lives with inutile resistance bend you to your tears. Never before you felt so weak for loving the sea, the wilderness in it.

What hurts more is the realization you were not born to be a soldier. A part of you always expected to be equal your brothers, but your failure shows precisely that you are not like them.

Lost in your contemplations, you are trying to think of a solution about leaving the place when you are surprised by the presence of no one but the king himself.

Aemond has no time to waste in delegating useless tasks that he can do it himself. Thus it is this anxious warlord comes to the chambers he located you.

Whilst he stands there, you and him share a silent stare. The silver haired prince is significantly taller than you, possessing, as you first notice, a long sword in his right side and a dagger in his left. The idea that he came protected to meet you almost makes you smile.

“What reason is there to your lips twirl in a smirk? You have no reason to commemorate”, his husky voice assaults your troubled mind, forcing you to focus on him.

“You came alone to meet me, lord king. Armed. Do I pose you enough danger for that?”

Aemond takes a seat before you. His good, lilac eye studies you intently. Despite feeling crimson paint your cheeks, you do not look away.

“You think too high of yourself, lady Y/N Greyjoy. I suggest you to know your place.”

You fold your arm, mockery rising to your eyes.

“Please, lord. Enlighten me what place is this when you have no morals to speak in such terms.”

Aemond is patient. And unlike many of the men that crossed your path, not tempted to easily demonstrate or slip into his temperament.

“I wear the crown and impose a defeat on your feeble attempt to overthrow me, lady Y/N. It is unwise to dictate the rules of this game.” And then he adds. “A game that you perhaps have not been prepared to play. Has your good father not instructed you on it properly? By the sounds of your defeat, I guess not.”

You clench your jaw. Despite the broken pride and the heat in your throat that might vert in unwelcoming tears, you hold back the instinct of throwing your hands around this king’s neck and break it.

But you’ve never been one back to violence, have you?

“Has the cat eaten your tongue?”

You stand at last.

“Why coming to insult me so freely? Kill me if you must, lord king. One less enemy to humiliate!”

Aemond too stands, hands contrived in his back.

“Nay”, he speaks in almost a whisper. “The rules are not yours to dictate. Besides, with your supporters dead, I have a guess that your father will not come for you.”

With a side smirk, he leaves you. Victoriously so. And as he closes the door, there locking you in, the prince hears your screams.

*

But he wonders what to do with you. This is not a typical rebel, nor a natural leader who easily inspires dissent. A soldier. The word brings him back to his memories when, as the right hand of King Aegon, his brother, he did what you are doing now. Obeying orders.

Intrigued by this comparison, he goes back to your quarters after he finishes dinner. Unannounced, he surprises you combing your long y/c hair, wearing a white night gown. As you readily stand before the noise of opening door, he sees not only fear behind your eyes… but comes to notice the strong firm breasts the silk poorly disguises.

However, to his own sake he best not to look too much in you.

“What are you here for, lord king?”, you ask away, throwing robes over your shoulders. “I-It’s too late for a visit and I shall not be your whore.”

Your words, much to your dismay, make him chuckle. Aemond pulls a chair and there sits, holding your uncomfortable gaze still.

“Despite the inappropriate hour, I had to speak with my lady”, says he.

“What for?”, you retort, still at a corner like a frightened animal.

“I will do no harm to you, Y/N Greyjoy. I am not my brother”, he clenches his jaw, waving his hand dismissively. “All I want is talk. You have my word.”

You hesitate and Aemond sees distrust in your eyes. He doesn’t blame you for this behavior. Now wondering what he’d do if his sister’s forces had captured him many moons ago, he comes to think he’d behave similarly. If not more rudely.

Eventually you cede and take a distant seat of him.

“Well?”, you say, anxious. “Speak your terms.”

“I did not come to bargain”, Aemond smirks. “Why, as a victor, would I do so?”

“I am not your trophy, lord king”, you frown your eyebrows in clearly displeasure. “Either send me home or execute me. Other possibilities are out of consideration.”

Aemond is entertained by how your pride takes the reins of the situation. Ignoring what you just said, he proceeds rather cautiously.

“You are a soldier.”

On that you don’t see it coming. You tilt your head and had not it been for a few scars over your eyebrows and on your neck, besides the calloused hands, he’d take you as a princess.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Patiently, the king explains.

“You were following orders to bring your men here. When we captured you, I’ve already had some informations about you. You are the only daughter of Lord H/N of Pyke, but hardly as skillful as your brothers… at least where bloodshed is concerned. You have a tender heart and even when you sack or pile you tend to have mercy on your enemies.”

You look at him in between astonishment and embarrassment.

“You planted a spy at my father’s household.”

Aemond’s lips twitch in a smile.

“You are clever, my lady.”

You feel a strange urge to weep, but you blink a few times, refusing to cede to it.

“I will not ask why. You’ve been counting on that, haven’t you? But seeing I am useless to my father, why keeping me here at your mercy?”

“I do not think you are useless to him. On the contrary”, Aemond rests his hand over his knee. “I know how cherished you are for him.”

“You are using me to bring out my family and defeat it publicly. My House will stand, lord.”

“There are many ways a House can perish, lady. But this is not about it. Disregarding what you may have heard about me, I was a soldier like you. Obeying orders blindly without questioning. However, I was born to hold a sword. You, perhaps, to command.”

Silence hangs in between the two of you. Aemond sees the value you have for your family, but what surprises him is that you don’t share the perspective.

They see the beauty in you, not the iron that lies underneath.

A thought he doesn’t find convenient to share. He stands, having collected enough for his judgement.

You watch as he stops by the door. He knows you have the urge to beg him to spare your family. It is an instinct that many would have in your position. But because you know that he studied you well, you say nothing.

You turn your back on him, disappointing your captor for sparing him of temperamental exhibition.

***

As days turn in weeks, you have been forced to deal with eminent loss of the main purpose that has led you there. Serving your family has not only brought you disgraces or exposed your fragilities to your enemies, but comes to nothing when no news of your father or brothers searching to avenge you reach you.

“A soldier is replaceable, whether by blood or not”, says Aemond.

This evening you two are dining together at his privy royal chambers. You realize the king is a lonely man with unseen scars. Like you.

“You have offended my honor and disgraced my pride”, you speak softly as you take wine to your lips. It’s sweet and part of you wishes it to be poisonous. “Until when do you intend to break my spirit?”

When Aemond raises his eyes to meet yours, your soul is perturbed. You wish you could look away, but not even vengeance is a scheme tolerable by your mind now.

“Despite the circumstances, I wish you had not seen me as such”, he speaks behind the glass he takes to his lips. “I believe there’s much to gain in here.”

“What’s there to gain?”

“Liberty.”

“By what means?”

No answer comes. As you now start to study him, you come to see him as not the villain many folks had moulded him to, but not the hero either. Somewhere in between.

Aemond doesn’t say. Silence again hangs in between you, but this time it has not the same shades of awkwardness.

By the end of the dinner, he is leading you back to your quarters. He sees that you still shake when he takes your hand.

“Lady Y/N…”

You look at him, deprived of your pride.

“Y-Yes?”

“This would all be different had you not openly rebelled against me on behalf of phantoms. I sought about the whereabouts of the princes myself and didn’t find them. Why letting yourself be the pawn of others game?”

You lower your eyes so he doesn’t see the depth of melancholy that has hammered these questions long ago, but the king lifts your chin, there gently holding it.

“What other choice did I have? You, of all, should understand what is like to be tied to the family. Have you never sacrificed anything for them?”

Aemond contemplates you in silence, words that echo that fatidic night where his mother claimed Lucerys’s eye for the loss he suffered.

“I have”, he admits. “More than you will ever know.”

A ghostly smile is seen forming shyly on your lips.

“Then we are not different. Soldiers, like you said.”

And then you stop by the door. Looking back at him, you find the king staring at you. Why, this time, does his intent stare shake you? Why do the parallels between you two bring something more?

Worse is, why does your prison doesn’t feel like one anymore?

***

Aemond leaves the council, certain that no more rebellions will spread. There had been no more words from Pyke, though he’s more than aware that the remaining of your brothers might attempt something in not a near future for he’s been informed that they plan another sack at Lannisport.

In that order, he instructs his spy to pay enough gold to have the Greyjoys protecting the bays of Westeros if they occasionally let go of supporting names that are nothing but a memory of days long put to rest.

However, a question remains: what to do with you?

***

You are allowed to walk freely through the castle. At first this intrigues you. As you love the unknown, you occasionally lose your fear as you start to explore this new environment.

But when going to the gardens and there spotting the sea, your heart aches. As you contemplate those calm waters, you wonder why your father had sent you in such a suicidal mission. He knew you had won previously in placid seas. It was never prudent to combat in ugly storms.

Such are your thoughts that you do not see him coming. Aemond has realized that for a long while he hasn’t come to enjoy a feminine companion, gotten now used to you.

Like a hawk in guard, he sets his good eye to scrutiny over you. This time, your beauty captivates his sight. Your y/c hair, falling down to the mid of your back, is only partially tied according to the local fashion; he notices it’s cleaner and better brushed too. As the sun lights on it, it makes it shine in almost a different shade of y/c.

The gown you dress is silk made and it slips delicately in your body, shaping your curves. Aemond’s good eye notices your hips, how firm they are. He thinks you look good in red and black, the colors of his house. This perception makes him smirk unconsciously.

Feeling you have been under observation, you promptly turn in defense mood, admonishing yourself for letting your guards down, until you see it’s the king, your captor, who’s been the observer.

“Staring is rude”, you do not know how else to greet him and curtsying is not an option; this means that you are subduing to his authority, and as much as you are thankful for his clemency to you, you still have your pride.

Aemond notices it, which amuses. Nothing different that what would have he done, had he been in your shoes.

“Not greeting your king properly is as well”, he remarks. “I thought that even the Greyjoys had some manners.”

You scoff at him in defiance.

“Who do you take us for? Barbarians?”

“No”, Aemond wrings his hands behind his back in his usual composed posture. “Only a folk who is often on combat with their own kin when not assaulting other shores.”

“Please”, you snarl in response. “Says the one who came to power after murdering a few of his own kin.”

Any sign of humor dissipates of the king’s eyes. Darkness casts its shadow upon his face and your smirk is instantly wiped off yours. You instantly regret saying it so, even though you cannot understand why.

“Do not speak of matters that you don’t understand”, the king addresses you in a cold tone.

“Then you should not judge a life that you never lived.”

No one admits defeat. Pride takes victory, thus separating one from the other. For the moment.

***

But your remorse begins to hammer against your conscience. You know if you wanted to make your way, you would. Perhaps seducing the king to buy your ticket to liberty.

As days turn into months and these begin to slowly turn into another year, no signs of the Greyjoys in avenging you shows that there is no point in going back home.

Have you been tamed? You fear to find the answer. It’s when you come for him.

“I need to find His Grace”, you ask Ser Criston, his closest advisor.

The knight looks down upon you and you detest to feel small by this man’s gaze. I’m still a Kraken’s daughter. But you keep the thought to yourself.

“He’s occupied at the moment.”

Sounds come from the king’s bedchambers and you narrow your eyes at what you hear. Why are you flinching upon hearing these scandalous noises?

You do not answer the knight. Lifting your chin, you storm out, perhaps prompted to do something very impulsive.

Which is, for now, getting yourself drunk. Now familiarized with the kitchen and collecting a few friends amongst the servants, you get yourself some good bottles to yourself.

“I do not think wise that you should drink alone, my lady”, a maid responsible to look after you named Gisla tells you concerned.

“Who cares if wine takes my breath away, dear? I am forsaken by all, a prisoner whose life turned into dust.”

As you lock yourself in your bedchambers, you get to wonder why the possibility that the king has found lovers to warm his bed should affect you.

Trying to dissipate these uninviting thoughts, you begin to unlace the gown he gifted you, ready to toss it in fire. Pouring wine in the glass, you try to release your caged spirit in the best way you can.

Now wearing nothing more than undergarments, you open the window in search of fresh air. Moon rises high at sky and when looking at the reflection it casts down the sea, melancholy strikes again.

Having calmed your temper, you start to reason with yourself. Who are you now? A memory that remains, a survivor long forsaken? As you taste the sweet flavor of red wine—Dornish, you are sure—you don’t see the king getting to your chambers.

Aemond is dressed in his usual robes, but looking somehow less than a royal. He throws his cape at the seat, his good eye scrutinizing over your melancholy. Almost twelve months have passed and somehow one remains unreachable for the other.

Under moonlight, he spots a free spirit caged. A woman born to rule, his other half in another life if defeat was meant to him. He did to her what others would do to him. And he realizes how unjust he was.

To secure his throne, he did what he must. But growing used to you, he refuses to let you go. The mere thought of you abandoning him is… unacceptable.

Nevertheless, the king wishes to compensate you. Desire arises, sparked by perhaps his utmost selfishness in keeping you with him.

Or perhaps you are only a gift by the Gods to put an end to this misery. His head is heavy with the crown he wears, a burden that tests his limits and feeds his ambitions.

Yet, all is set aside when he looks at you. Slowly he comes behind you. Sensing an enigmatic presence behind you, you abruptly turn only to find him this close to you.

“Lord king! Your Grace!”, you exclaim out of short breath.

“I see we are welcomed properly now, my lady”, he never noticed until now how deep your y/c eyes are, as if sea is calling him. “I have missed you.”

You scoff, trying to find a way out of his arms, but Aemond doesn’t let you to.

“Will you please let me go?”

“Nay. I was prepared to do so, but I am a selfish man, Y/N. I care about you.”

You clench your jaw, frustrated. So many men have been pushed away, despised and looked down by you, but this king… When you look up, you are trapped.

“You care not!”, your voice betrays your spiritual state. “You have been whoring!”

Aemond’s eye twinkles with amusement. He is now holding your wrists as he pushes you against the wall, his knee gently parting your legs. You feel a strange ache burning your womanhood, rising to your chest.

“What makes you think I was?”

His long, slander pale fingers wrap around your fingers, eyeing your chest with lust, perceiving the hardened nipples under the white nightgown you dress. Then he raises his eyes only to meet your inexpressible face completely red.

“I… It doesn’t matter how I think when it’s a fact”, you try to protest, but it dies incomplete in your throat the moment Aemond gently rubs his knee against your entrance.

You should not enjoy this, but by the Kraken, here is no ordinary man.

“And if it was? Why would you care?”, he is pleased to find some reaction in your eyes at the moment he speaks with his husky voice, a positive effect of him over you.

“I don’t”, you squeak as he continues doing what he’s been doing with his knee.

“Deny me, then. Send me away the way you sent your suitors all before”, Aemond defies you, aroused as you begin to rub against his knee, willingly this time.

Eyes locked in one gaze, no one is ready to surrender. Yet.

“My king should know better whom you speak to.”

“One day you’ll wake up with regrets if I leave.”

You move closer to take hold of his long face, fingertips daringly touching his cheeks, up to his eye—but despite your staring you don’t touch the eye patch. Letting them slip to his silvery hair, wrapping your fingers around his locks, pulling him closer to you.

“Will you dare to leave me, Aemond Targaryen?”

His eyelashes barely open as his lips remain close to yours, his left hand holding your waist as his right one leaves your neck, slipping vaguely and purposely over your breasts before resting over your waist.

“Will you stay, Y/N Greyjoy?”

When you dare to remove his eye-patch, Aemond surprises you by not fighting away your curiosity. Knowing how this means he trusts in you, it’s enough to knock down every other barrier you’ve held up to him.

“Must be exhausting to repress your sentiments to this anti-hero”, he stares at you intently.

“It is”, you gasp, spreading your legs as his hand finally moves under the skirt of your nightgown. But he doesn’t make to your core, not yet, which makes you mewl.

Aemond side smirks at you, waiting to bend you to his will. You barely breathe, but this time you turn the tables by letting another hand finding the way to his pants.

“My lady!”

“You did not take me as a damsel, did you?”, you chuckle, even though he sees you are misleading in your eyes.

In truth, as you feign a confidence you don’t have, all you did was having a limited experience with men. So you did know some things as he can tell by the form your fingers skillfully unlace his pants and…

“Shit!”, Aemond curses.

You giggle quietly, appreciating the mix of shock and libidinous in his wide-eyed gaze. It feels good to have his length throbbing against your hand, how you manage to have him under your control.

It feels so good to deflect him to you, to have captured your captor.

“Gods…”, his moans are sensually low, the pleasure stamped in his features making you wet in your legs.

What is meant to be an instrument of domination is now domineering you. And oh you want more… But then, you stop.

“Y/N…” Aemond groans in between annoyance and disbelief.

“I cannot do this”, you say, detesting to break the spell, but then…

He gives you a quizzical look, perhaps thinking many possibilities of why you are doing this to him after he let himself be so crudely open to you.

Precisely why you are surprising him again when you tell him.

“I am not your whore, Aemond. You either make me your wife and queen, or my life ends right here, right now”, you indicate with your head in direction to the opened window. “I am a Kraken’s daughter. I am the sea, I cannot be caged for longer.”

Maybe it’s the wine, but you are scarcely afraid of holding back a character that hasn’t fitted you for long.

“I grew to love you and even though I am forsaken by my family, more painful would be if I were deserted out of your heart.”

Aemond’s features sooth before your words. Indeed he’s been taken by surprise, a deed few would have claimed to do.

“You could have said this earlier”, says he, shortening the distance between you two, cupping your face with his. “I meant not to dishonor you, my lady.”

“I was afraid you would not…”

“…love you?”, he chuckles, resting his forehead against yours. “I fucking do. Hence why I said I’m not prepared to let you escape. I cannot do so. And I am ready to make you my queen.”

One smile is enough to firm the peace between hearts in array.

***

• I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero…

Aemond admires the wild beauty that sleeps next to his side. His queen, at long last announced before the whole realm notwithstanding the disapproval of his council, his wife.

He begins to kiss your face, before burying his face against your hair. No more sorrow when your sea salt scent envolves him in a jolt of happiness never before experienced… not before Alys.

No more past to daunt his heart and torment his mind as his tongue slips to your ear, biting your earlobe and sliding to your neck, his hand pressing against your waist. His eyes remain glued at your peaceful, serene face, despite the shivers that begin on your skin and, as he discreetly pulls off the blankets, sees the exposed nipples hardening.

Aemond is careful not to wake you yet. Admiring your nude frame as his lips move to your neck, he keeps in mind the events of the day before. No protest came from Pyke as one of them is crowned their queen. But you are still resented to write them letters, despite the efforts of your brothers in renewing a direct alliance with the crown—to the Lannisters’ preoccupation.

The king is not here to please anybody, but you. He recollects how beautiful you were in a green, silk gown, appropriated for summer feasts. His mother’s tiara was placed above your head, and your hair down reinforced your sparkling beauty.

As his mouth leaves bruises against your skin, you move lightly, making incomprehensible noises. Aemond smirks, slowly turning over your body, always careful when doing so.

Contemplating your nudity under his gaze, he recollects the night before—and the nights beforehand where he took you as his wife, never able to leave your body, remembering how you mewled under his touch, how humbled you were when you begged.

“My lady likes to be commanded in bed”, he said in the occasion.

“Only you has possessed this right”, so you snapped in between short breaths.

Smiling at the retrospective moment, his lips now move delicate to mouth out your nipples, finally awaking you as his fingers move down to your womanhood.

“Oh Aemond!”, you cry out in pleasure, eyes open with despair, as your body reacts like a big wave sets to hit the shore violently.

“Yes, my lady?”, he takes his time in each nipple until your cries get louder, all the whilst his now two fingers make way deep inside you, already familiar with the walls that clench around it, the spot that is soon making you call his name.

And then…

“I need you!”, you whimper.

Your wishes are prompted complied. What a good way to start your tenure, you remember thinking. When looking at you, Aemond Targaryen knows he is not merely a king, but a man who finally found love in his lifetime.

[bengiyo]

Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy X A Tale of Thousand Stars Ep 4 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Yesterday, we transitioned into the A Tale of Thousand Stars portion of this crossover, and the mood shifted to match. There’s been a lot of consternation about the episode, and whether it represents a weak outing from Aof and friends. I have decided that it doesn’t matter for me, because it mostly worked for me. I understood the intention of having these characters get lost in the woods repeatedly no matter who they were with. I’ll have more to say this weekend, I’m sure.

Not these two coming for my man Phupha’s back during their roleplay!

I’m glad Pat and Pran got to have a cute montage before they left.

We will finally be free of the Our Skyy 2 theme.

I like that Pran made a friend out of Tian on this trip. Pran has so few friends, and I’m glad he was able to make one on his own.

Pat, please never stop terrorizing Phupha.

Unsurprised that Tian broke first on the apology, but glad to see Phupha getting flirty.

You just knew he was going to sign. I’m not even worried about the conditions. He wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t force you to meet him where he is.

I really hope tourists don’t tarnish this waterfall.

It’s not time for Only Friends yet, so we can’t have someone fondling tiddies yet on GMMTV. Mark, Neo, and Book, you are to be our champions.

Ah, Oishii tea is here. We can relax now.

Okay, I’m having fun with flirty Phupha.

We’re finally acknowledging the mosquito net as foreplay!

Finally, we the people have received what we needed. I wanted them to kiss so badly the first time they were here, and I’m finally sated.

Tian is wearing the Nong Nao sleeping mask! This is not a drill!

They did the Bad Buddy score scene. Few things make me happier than seeing older gays learn something from their juniors. Good for Phupha to get flirty in the morning.

I don’t think I mind Phupha surprising Tian in Bangkok, since it’s always seemed like a long drive. I get Phupha wanting that time to collect himself and put on his best face.

“People here let their cameras eat first.” I hate this description, but he’s correct.

GAYS IN A PHOTOBOOTH! I’m just going to pass out now.

Yes, Tian. Please upgrade this man’s fit.

Phupha is being so brave about how nervous he is about new clothes and their costs.

I’m so glad we’re getting to play dress up with Phupha like he’s a Ken.

Oh, I’m crying a little bit. Asking that Pat and Pran portray them feels like the exact restriction Phupha would apply. He would want their story told by people who know them and who they can trust a bit. I think Pran definitely gets Phupha.

Mix has such an incredible way to shift his face slightly and be suddenly so smitten.

Ink and Pa are at the play!!

This play was cute. I loved this.

Not the reversal on the finger suck into a genuinely decent kiss once again interrupted by Pa!!

White cameo!! I hope he continues to pop up in BL for the next 60 years.

Phupha and his surprises. I’m okay with it for today, but I hope his next step is being more forthright.

I love that Tian’s parents led the conversation for Phupha. He needed their approval, but respects them too much to ask for it.

His errand was a ring for a proposal. I forgive him for everything.

“We finally have a thousand stars now.” Okay, gonna lie down and cry. I don’t know what it was, but something old in me just snapped.

I really like Mix and Earth as a pair. They play their dynamic differently with each couple. Tian and Jim kiss differently than Wen and Jim.

Yes, give us the same unhinged outro that Pat and Pran gave us in episode 12.

Final Verdict: 10, Highly Recommended (Primarily for Gay Reasons). I understand a lot of the complicated feelings everyone has about Pat and Pran, but I personally loved all of this. I respect Aof telling something mildly dissatisfying with Pat and Pran, because that is honestly at the core of their dynamic. They are constantly subject to outside influences that make it difficult for them to be happy the way they want to be, and that is most evident in Pran. I really liked them crossing over to meet Tian and Phupha, because we got to see both couples really face who they are.

Part of the big difference here is that we are still seeing Pat and Pran in the middle of their story, and Pran especially still has things he needs to sort. With Tian and Phupha, we’re seeing them after their show ended. We’re seeing them face themselves with the help of the Chaos Gays that showed up on their doorstep. As a result, everyone got to see themselves differently, and we the audience got some of what we needed from both shows.

For me, I just love that both of these couples are “in repair” and are trying to be present for each other. Like Uncles Cheep and Dej said, once the infatuation fades, it’s about trust and commitment. I like that we walked away from this with me feeling like that’s the goal for both of them.

Shoutouts to @shortpplfedup @lurkingshan, @ginnymoonbeam, @waitmyturtles, and @wen-kexing-apologist for talking through episode 3 yesterday. 

[horsetailcurlers2]

watching grey’s anatomy for the first time after only watching private practice: another long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching (season 7 edition)

-amelia!!!! yay

-“i have a lot of sisters. if we bought them all coffee, we’d have nothing” okay derek is funny sometimes

-HOW OLD IS AMELIA? it’s stated through dialogue in pp that addison knew her when she was twelve which implies that they are at least about ten years apart (and therefore she is also ten years younger than derek) but somehow she was also five during their dad’s death when derek was twelve, is older than meredith, and got fired from her fellowship in pp but is somehow still a big girl surgeon who can do her own surgeries?

-mark/amelia sex is grossing me out.

-frances conroy!!! this show has so many good guest stars

-marks improvised budget pitch to richard definitely sounds like he’s trying to fuck him

-alex is singing camp rock to the little girl in the MRI thingy. into it.

-the head of pathology is anna draper!!

-okay, arizona telling callie she’s ruining africa for her is a *little* unfair. they should have discussed this more beforehand.

-after however many seasons of them i can genuinely tell you nothing of note about the new characters except that the virgin girl was also in svu and mad men

-arizona sweetie your biphobia is showing

-“i’m trying to look at baileys teets on the internet” RICHARD! (adele webber voice)

-i don’t love the way they’re writing meredith this season. i usually really really like her character even when she fucks up, but she just feels different this season idk. maybe it’s the bangs.

-tyler the nurse!!! i feel like he hasn’t really been around much these past few seasons. i missed him.

-starting to strongly dislike owen. he thought that she was just playing a little joke when she said she never wanted kids??? or that he could browbeat her until she gave in??? “you’re a resident, you might change your mind” ??????? it’s not a decision most people are usually wish washy about dude. you knew this before you married her!!!! “i don’t get a say?” the time to have a say would have been before you were married when she TOLD YOU she didn’t want kids

-arizona sweetie your biphobia is showing AGAIN

-arizona and owen are on my list at this point (ep 16)

-idc what anyone says i LOVE the musical episode (side note: sara ramirez is a fantastic singer)

-meredith, babygirl. i have not been this frustrated with your decisions since season one/two.

-officially HATE owen. deeply. i don’t know how many more ways she can tell him she doesn’t want kids. she has been explicitly clear from the beginning. he’s going on and on about partnerships and both having a say yet what he so clearly means is “i want a chance to argue you into this” as if it’s a trivial decision and not a fundamental difference in how they want to live their lives. and as if it’s not ultimately her body. this is not something you can compromise about, you stupid ginger fuck!!!!!

-also: “i don’t hate children. i respect them. and i believe that they should have parents who want them” !!!!!!!

-every time i want to side with derek, he ruins it by being self righteous and then running away

[unconventional-lawnchair]

The Boy I knew {Sneak Peak}

Barty Crouch Jr. x Reader

Cw; Y/N, obsessions, one sided love(Barty receiving), Barty being unhinged.}} Please tell me if I missed anything!

AN- this fanfic is now well over 10k and not nearly done, so I am just posting a lil sneak peak. I may of gone so over board based on an anon request

Wc-1628

{. 1972 - Barty’s Year 1 .}

Bartemius Crouch Junior couldn't have been older than eleven when he first met {Y/N} Walburga Black. A cool upperclassman, if only by a year.

Bartemius, at that ripe age, knew only a handful of things, and two of those was how badly he wanted to be seen and known. He wanted to be seen for who he was, and known for what he would do. Thats likely what drew him to you.

At only twelve, you and your brother had made a name for yourselves, in much different ways. Your brother was popular, for his quick tongue and clever quips, his innate ability to get under anyone's skin and stay there. Those traits could be forgiven, and they always were, for his big heart and intense moral compass.

You, however, were known for harboring a few very non Black traits, like your intense empathy and your crazed thirst for knowledge. Even as a Slytherin, your loyalty and curiosity rivaled the students around you tenfold. Your bravery knew no bounds, even with all the wrongs you had been done, you were forgiving and understanding. You were seen by everyone, you were known for everything.

As he got older, he wondered where that forgiveness went. You grew cold.

When he was innocent, when he had done no wrongs, you cradled him in your hands like he was a gift. You looked at him with eyes you shared with everyone, so much care and patience, so much understanding and kindness. So if those eyes were shared with the masses, he struggled, but was determined, to keep them focused on himself at any chance given.

It was obvious to anyone who saw the two interact. Barty wanted to be witnessed by you. The halls filled with the judgeful and teasing murmurs when he found you in the halls.

“There goes {Y/N}’s prodigy.”

“Barty is off to find his guru.”

“That boy will never learn.”

“How annoying.”

Barty had never been ashamed of his declarations for praise. He knew most of the voices were bitter with jealousy. He would be jealous too. You were both so young, and yet even some older students looked to you like you were twice your age, yet every Friday when the tests were returned, you sat in the courtyard and waited for him. Your personal underclassman.

You would meet in the yard and he would brandish his flawless marks, you would praise his abilities in absolute pride. He had never had someone prideful of him before. Everyone knew him to be a mother’s boy, but he would challenge any of those claims. He was a {Y/N}’s boy, he'd tell them, no shame as students snickered and made their fun of him. He was never afraid of how much he liked you. How much he admired and respected you.

He would turn from the RavenClaw table and look to you after his announcements everytime, you would be eating with Lily Evans and the other girls of her group, but your eyes would be on him. You would give him a soft smile that drove him mad. He would return it with his own, the smile he would save for you. Just you.

He could even ignore your shameful company.

When he was only eleven and you were twelve, everything was perfect for him. You focused your attention on studies, your friends, and of course, Barty. That's how it stayed for years.

He would reminisce in his cell, running his dulled nail along the jagged stone walls, carving intents of every minute that passed. Remembering all of the things he regretted most in his life. Losing your trust was where his spiral began. He was a foolish kid.

{. 1974 Barty’s Year 3 .}

“It's getting embarrassing.”

Barty was eating lunch with one of the many friends he had made during his years at Hogwarts, Evan Rosier. He was once again bringing the conversation back to you, as he had been for the past few days.

“You trail after her like a loyal dog. Has she even given you a hint that she may return your feelings?”

“What feelings?”

Evan and you did not get along. You never had. When he first found himself growing closer to him, you voiced your distaste for Evan the very next day. Barty always trusted your judgment, he obeyed you without much of a fight in most cases. This was not one of those cases.

He figured you to be biased, your brother thought him to be a Death Eater and you despised them. Something he could never understand, you were a pureblood, you were a powerful witch, and you would never have to worry about falling for a half blood or muggleborn, or Merlin forbid, a muggle. You were smarter than that. He always figured. You wouldn't taint your legacy.

Not like your useless brother, who he could see even now, describing his entanglements with witches and wizards of any kind, to the other Marauders.

As the years went on, you and Barty’s meetings became scarcer and scarcer, they went from Fridays to every second Friday, finally, you now only met every last Friday of the month. Still, Barty clung to you with a desperation he never would give anyone else.

Recently, you had gotten into a fight. One where you expressed your worry for what could possibly happen to him if he got involved with the wrong crowd. Barty, admittedly, didn't respond in kind. He was furious with you. You questioned his company but pushed away from him, you questioned his morals and his standing on the war. He told you there was no war to him, there was no fight.

At the end of the day, he would be standing by you.

The answer seemed to distress you further. It turned into a match of shouts and desperate pleas of compliance. It caused a scene, people watched as you defended your standing on your side of the war, this fight you were having with yourself he assumed. There was no war. This was a power struggle, so power would be returned to its rightful place.

Evan’s scoff snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up from his plate to his eyes.

“Barty, half the school knows you've been in love with her since you met her.” He hissed and Barty frowned. Would he call it love? He didn't think about it long before he had his answer. Love wasn't something he looked for, but he found it constantly. From the love he shared with Pandora, to the love he shared with Regulus, even the love he was nurturing with the brutish Evan.

No love in his body burned hotter then his love for you.

He never thought about it because he never had to. Why would he? He knew you would always choose him. He knew what you two shared was never anything that could be challenged. He was your underclassmen. He was your prodigy. He didn't care for much, as long as he was yours.

Evan snapped his fingers in his face and drew his attention back to him. He gave a slick smirk and wet his lips. “Come on, Barty, she's just a girl. You're wasting talent. Talent that could be used for someone who actually appreciates you.”

“She does appreciate me.” Barty challenged immediately, before Evan smirked and gestured to the Gryffindor table. “Does she?”

Barty turned just in time to see you, he never had to stare at a crowd too long to find you.

You were sitting with your brother and his friends, side by side with Remus, sitting far too close for comfort. He was whispering something in your ear, making you giggle. Turning to look at him with the truest smile he's ever seen you make. Flashing your beautifully uneven teeth, your cheeks dimpling and eyes seeming to sparkle. Your eyes met Lupin’s and he took in your expression like he could die in that moment.

Barty had never seen you smile like that before. He had never seen you look that way before. You had never looked at him like that before.

He hadn't even noticed as he began to bend the fork in his hand, fist tightening as he watched as Remus lean in and stole a kiss against your cheek. You gave a bigger laugh at this. Moving in to kiss his lips carefully.

The wonderful moment you were having was interrupted when a loud snap sounded threw the cafeteria. Your eyes snapped over to the RavenClaw table, as did a lot of your peers. Barty had snapped a fork in half with his thumb alone. Before a professor could scold him, he got up from his seat and stomped out of the grand hall, and your eyes followed them.

You muttered a quick apology to Remus and he nodded in understanding as you scrambled to your feet to follow after him.

He wished he could take every word he called you in that hall back now. He wished he had been smart enough to know that loving you with you in his life would of been far less torture then loving a girl who hated your guts.

“You blood traitor!”

“This! This is what I meant, Bartemius! My Barty would never-”

“You don't have a clue about me you insolent heartbreaker! What of us, Black?”

“Us? What Us, Barty?”

That night he realized that no matter how genuine his love was for you, how deeply it ran, those times spent alone meant far more to him then it ever meant to you. You did stuff like that for everyone.

He wasn't entitled to your love. Running his nail down until it was blunted against the wall. Azkaban could no longer do more harm then it already had.

[deadal1enx3]

I saw a post from @callistosposts about how the gas giants are in our Au (this one) and I was too lazy to put it in the comments, plus it's easier to show everyone how they acted in my au so:

The gas giants!!

(also the rocky planets)

My au are in era's so proto era and appreciation era and so on so (these are all made up by me so au)

Birth era:

As the era says, this is the birth era. Meaning (obviously) that this is the timeline when they were born. And as we know, Jupiter was the first gas giant to be born. (And Mars is the same age as him :O) And the sun is also 4.603 billion years old but google might be wrong but who knows, in my au Sun will be older with a few million years.

The young giants were like kids. Jupiter is the oldest, then Uranus is the second oldest, after him there's Saturn and Neptune is the youngest. This is only about them so I'm not writing much about the interactions between the rocky planets, plus in my au the Sun also said to them that they shouldn't go too close or near the rockies yet because it's dangerous for them because they are still forming and the Sun didn't wanted collision that could've been avoided.

At this time Neptune's orbit isn't that far yet, so Uranus and him are pretty close cousins. Uranus had a closer neighbor (forgot name but the planet he collided with some time after) who's really friendly, and the three of them are really good friends. Saturn and Jupiter are like two siblings (even though they are aren't siblings remember that) Jupiter being the oldest, he has the stupidest ideas and Saturn is the one who would always do it. This is how they started to prank everyone around them, the Sun, Neptune, Uranus and even broke the most important rule of not going near the forming rocky planets. But fortunately nothing happened, which is good because the two of them would be in trouble if the smaller planets would've got hurt.

There was a new planet. A youngest of them all. He was the neighbor of Uranus and Saturn. They called him X, because there was an X like mark across his face. He hang out with Saturn and Jupiter, he took participation in the pranks and their other little ideas.

Appreciation era:

At this time, the rocky planets were fully formed. There was 7 rocky planets, and the Sun let them meet the gas giants, only if they don't get so close. The rockies loved how strong and big the gas giants were, and that they could protect the solar system so easily. It made the gas giants feel powerful.

The sun suggested that the planets should have their own roles this is how they got their new names and their roles. The gas giants and rocky planets got their own weapons, and learned to use them, and also how to use their symbols for the right thing. They learned how to respect each other, knowing how important each other is, the moons, the dwarf planets, gas giants, and the rockies. At this time, The Sun gave the planets and moons more freedom, they could go out of their orbits and play with each other. Tho this made them a bit more reckless, especially the gas giants. Jupiter always wanted to impress Saturn by how strong he is, And sometimes he even did very stupid things, even doing dangerous stuff. Those times Uranus had to give Jupiter a lecture even though Uranus is younger than him.

The ice giants were in peace, they hang out, played together, trained together and such. They were glad that Neptune was chosen to be the solar system's guardian. He was training hard to do as Sun said to be the guardian, he really did wanted to protect the others even if it required him to be away for a long time, his friends supported him. Whenever Neptune got hurt, Uranus and (forgotten name still the earth sized planet that will collide) would always heal and help Neptune's injuries. They had a good dynamic.

Independence era:

X took place in the pranks, even if he was the youngest, younger than Neptune, he had the most rebel ideas. And because he was acting out, and wanted move on his own, not caring about orbits, and the solar system, it inspired Saturn and Jupiter to be like that too, and the 3 of them wanted freedom. They wanted independence. They created tiers. Gas giants = high tier. Rocky planets = medium tier. Dwarf planets and moons = low tier. And of course, the Sun= top tier. They marked their tier with paint. Red is high tier, blue is medium, green is low and orange is top tier. There were tiers between the moons too. The main moon's symbols and tiers were painted in gold, the others' were painted green, low tier.

The gas giants used their tiers to gain power, and appreciation from the others. They gained respect from others, it gave them incredible power over others around them. The mess had started when X, the youngest planet of the 5 gained more attention from Saturn. It made Jupiter furious, jealous.

Proto era:

As the 3 main planets gained more power and place to be the leader, the more the lower tiered celestial bodies feared them. It was known that the planets had crushed, thrown smaller planets, asteroids and moons out of the solar system. The first time they learned to respect the 3 gas giants, especially Jupiter. Because he was the one who crushed the planet, Mars's neighbor, Pantheon (i don't think that it's name but excuse me with it i only know Vulkan and Thea who i can name). The rocky planets were shocked, scared, seeing how easily they could be crushed by the gas giants. So they stayed in place. In their orbit, not mentioning anything to Sun about the missing planet. When she asked they only told him he disappeared and didn't know where the missing planets went. It was also very known that the main gas planets ate smaller rocky planets too. Well.. not X. Even though he was the biggest leader of them, he loved the rocky planets. He adored them. He hated seeing them getting hurt.

He did confront Jupiter and Saturn about their behavior, and that they shouldn't hurt them, or else who knows what the sun could do to them of she finds out. They had an argument, a big one at that. It could be felt almost everywhere in the system. Almost. With Jupiter's great gravitational force, some orbits got wacky and this is why Vulcan disappeared. Or as it really happened, got sent out of his orbit, into the sun. No one saw him, no one knew it. And also (forgotten planet name, the earth sized planet with Uranus) had collided with Uranus due to the gravity in the system. This caused Uranus' axis to be tilted forever, and also a smaller ring. There was no one else in the solar system who could heal him, so Uranus had to stay in his orbit, recovering. The Sun didn't know why they collided, or what was the real cause of the collision, she'd been told that their orbit probably crossed at one point and collided with each other.

The argument turned into a fight, with Neptune and Saturn trying to stop each other, and fortunately they did stop when the Sun had noticed them and the gravity change in the system. She quickly stopped the two and had them grounded(lol) in their orbits, forbidden to talk or get near each other until they don't learn to not get too close to each other and learn how to control their emotions maturely(?). Meanwhile, Gaia and Theia had collided, it was predictable because they did share an orbit and they would just collide sooner or later..but it was still sad.. Gaia was shy, rarely talked, but very nice. Theia was an extrovert, kind and friendly. She wanted to be friends with everyone. Uranus wanted to try and heal them, but the Sun didn't let him, telling Uranus that he still needed to rest, and that the two rocky planets had to recover naturally.

X didn't understand this. He thought that Theia and Gaia had collided because of Jupiter. He broke the rule that Sun set for the two. He went over to Jupiter's orbit, successful avoiding Saturn who was watching over the two because Saturn was in her orbit. X was furious, Theia was very dear to him, he loved talking to her and Gaia and hearing that they collided with each other was heart breaking for him and immediately thought that Jupiter was the one who caused it. X had caused a fight again, attacking Jupiter. Both got injured as Neptune had noticed the two fighting fron afar and he quickly wanted to stop it. X has been using his powers (the symbolic powers i was talking about wayy back), so Jupiter was pretty injured, but X had more wounds, consider that Jupiter was way bigger than him, meaning he was also a lot stronger than X. While Neptune was trying to stop the two, X had accidentally harmed Neptune too, injuring Neptune's right eye forever. Jupiter felt like he had no choice other than one idea he had.. He ejected X from the solar system forever. The gravitational impact made Neptune's orbit unstable, and more far away than it used to be, always moving further away. The Sun, once again, noticed the sudden change of the gravity in the system and looked around to be seeing two of his planets injured. As Jupiter explained, X was considered a threat to the solar system, so the Sun made Neptune's job to never let him into the system ever again. Saturn was sad when she heard that X has been ejected from the solar system, bit understand it that he may have been a really big threat consider that he did hurt Jupiter twice and Neptune once. Saturn really loved X deeply, and was sad that she couldn't had tell him that sooner. After a while, Uranus could heal the two wounded planets, tho Neptune did got blind in his right eye, where X had hurt him.

Awareness era:

The sun trusted his planets, so she let them out of their orbits more often, it wasn't so strict, just don't get too close to each other. But after what happened with X and the many rocky planets, Sun had decided that it would be best if the planets rarely ever went out of their orbit.

As they had to stay in their orbits, the Sun grew bigger, and warmer, causing Venus' life to slowly die out from climate change and runaway green house effect. It made Venus devastated, he loved his life and did everything to keep it alive, he didn't even dared to get out of his orbit that much, fearing that his life would freeze. Mars' core had cooled down, meaning his gravity got weaker and he couldn't hold his atmosphere strong enough, making the water on his surface to evaporate away. Mars knew how sad and horrible Venus felt about loosing his life so Mars tried to comfort and be with him as much the Sun let them.

Soon, a new planet formed from the remains of Theia and Gaia. Earth, with a moon, Luna. The planet was the one who gained consciousness first, with a thick atmosphere and many asteroid rains. They were quickly friends with Mars, hanging out a lot. Once the little moon had got conscious too, the two acted like siblings, always bickering and arguing. But that settled with time.

As time goes on, the tension between the gas giants and rocky planets eased, as they got a long lecture about the whole things that had been going on and now the tiers they had once created faded away mostly. The rockies did got scared from time to time, but this lessened with time. Tho the trauma between the moons and their planets never heals fully. In the not so long ago past, moons were like trophies, like a accessory to them. The more you have, meant you have the better gravity. Saturn was the one who had the most moon, with a stunning 146 moons. Or.. 147. As said, there was a smaller moon. Chrysalis. Chrysalis was a moon close to Saturn, it seemed like she was the only moon who was treated woth respect after the whole situation like that. This made Titan jealous. He hated seeing only Chrysalis get the attention and respect that all the other moons had been craving. Titan had made the decision to take advantage of the smaller moon's wobbly orbit and once they were close, he flung Chrysalis out of her orbit, going closer to Saturn than what was safe. Sadly getting crushed by the gravitational pull of the bigger planet and the moon remains made the beautiful rings they know today. No one knows, just Titan. Just Titan and no one else. Titan knows what he had done was wrong and it came from his own insecurities, but he still didn't wanted things to turn out like this.

contemporary era:

The Sun had made his rules less strict, bit he was still sticking to the don't go out of your orbit rule, as it was really important, knowing that collision could happen very easily that way.

Tho All of that is in the past now. Earth had gained life, intelligent lifeform at that. Neptune had gone insane but the presence of Uranus and sometimes the dwarf planets had kept him in check. The gas giants are much friendlier now too. And the planets were at peace with each other. Tho the same could not be said with the moons.. as we know by now, they are still treated like objects, so as the solar system trial goes on, i can't say more to this.

(A/N): well this was a long rant... Uhm.. if you read this whole thing, thanks and also you have a great attention spam cus this is hella long- also: @itsmeeleanorstill here you go bbg, it's here as i promised (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

I had fun thinking about this, and that the whole thing was just teenager Gas giants being rebel and stuff lmao. Hope you see this @callistosposts 💞 (luv your art and rants)

Well it's almost 2 AM for me so I'mma go sleep now, gnಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

[superconductivebean]

#978: hmmmm

I'm not usually the one to comment on drama. The reason isn't anger control or lettering creatively picked insults for literal ages, but the desire to be very, no, painstakingly meticulous about the case -- that always meets a force opposing it as greatly as it stirs up my mind. A force that tells me speaking publicly isn't worth its time; that force is rather wrong but is also very right, but no elaboration. For now.

Anyway. And sorry for the rant.

That particular kind of drama is very familiar to me and I hate to meet it again and again and again. It migrates from fandom to fandom, you can easily spot it outside internet and it always comes in either of its two equally irking forms.

You are either told to drop something because you are too old.

Or you are told to leave it for someone older, allegedly more capable and knowledgeable, wiser, than the silly little you.

Both I had seen, both I am very tired to hear for what feels like years.

Because it has been years. Decades. In three years I may call myself a fandom vintage because it would be a 20 years mark of me being to fandom, in a broad sense. I've seen it all. And I am appalled, a tad.

First, you are urged to leave, because you are too small. You get a little older and get shushed or lashed at again -- for being too young, still, and that your opinion isn't matter because of your age. Fast-forward would still yield you prejudice but there would be something more to it. Condescending. "You are so clever for your years!" Uh-huh.

Once your bio turns 18, people will suddenly start to look at you very differently.

Cringe you would post will be judged with lesser severity and your opinion will apparently matter to even the smallest degree now because you have come of age! Congratulations!

But. Once you've felt free from the other people's ostentatious desire to show off their utterly fallacious wisdom, -- as their main argument is their belief age matters much, -- it just starts to spin the other way.

People will either mock you, or try to drive you away, because now you're too old to be around. Too old to enjoy things. Ancient for this cosy spaces reserved for a forever-haunted youth. Decrepit and desolate, unfit for this endless, miraculous life stream -- that in the grim reality of things, seems to be off-limits for everyone.

Fascinating, isn't it.

Spitting on the youth and expect it not to ever try and beat anyone back with the same old argument of never being of the perfect bride age but for fandoms. Because humans are resentful creatures.

So,

don't mock fandom elderly,

don't mock fandom youth,

don't mock age; it matters not.

And, don't fall for the centuries old fallacy that inspires one to assume greater age equates to becoming only wiser. The implication of it should be apparent and well-known.

Important asterisk*: It isn't about parenting someone else's child. It is about respect. Understanding. Acceptance. Nice Things. You can't earn it by hitting someone's nose with a tip of your shoe. You earn it by communicating boundaries -- and while doing so, not leaving a landmine field. As much as people like to resent, they actually cherish kindness.

Another important asterisk*: Frustration is a very relatable emotion, yet. It shouldn't raincloud a whole group of people for the 'normal' of whom a tent has been put? Us-and-Thems may look appealing -- any simple thing does -- but when that becomes the case, you are well-past any resolving and facing something worse and of leviathanical proportions. That amount of prejudice and disrespect must be fought on levels far exceeding capabilities of just some fandom homies just wanting themselves a cosy retreat. Doesn't excuse said homies' resentment -- and hence, contribution to the persisting issue they'd rather not have. An ouroboros, if you will.

[suckitsurveys]

Are any of your friendships on a fine line? No. One just kind of ended though. I feel a little shitty about it but this girl did NOT respect my boundaries and I tried talking to her about it several times and she refused to listen so I just kind of stopped talking to her and she finally got the hint and deleted me off of all social media.

If I search your room will I find birth control? No.

Do you expect any of your ex’s to call or text you? Nope.

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Yes, my older niece’s. It was wild.

Where’s your favorite place to be when you feel depressed? With Mark and our kitties.

Are you currently looking forward to tomorrow? Nothing really. It’ll just be one day closer to the girls trip we’ve been planning for a year.

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? Yesterday.

Have you ever faked sick? Oh yeah.

Do you wear hoodies to bed? Not hoodies, I’d feel like I was being choked. But I’ve worn crew necks to bed before.

Are you currently wearing jeans? Yes.

Do you buy eggnog around the holidays? Why is this the second survey in like 4 days that’s asked me about eggnog?? Anyway, we usually get some.

Have you gone to a coffee shop within the past week? [i.e. Starbucks] I don’t think I have.

Would you like to be able to read thoughts? If I could control it sure.

Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Nah.

Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? I’m not sure.

Do you think baseball is a dying professional sport in America? Definitely not in my family.

Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive? Eh. Depends on the guy.

Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes.

What does your hair look like at the moment? I HATE the color SO much but I didn’t want to dye it and have it fade right away in the sun/chlorine.

Are you mad right now? No, just tired.

Who did you spend your summer with last year? Mostly my family and friends.

Did you eat a cookie today? No.

Have you heard of wreck this journal? Yes, I have one somewhere.

Do you know any one who lives in California? Yes.

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yes.

What do you put on your baked potatoes? Butter and sour cream for sure. Sometimes chives and cheese.

Have you ever been on a farm? Yes.

Who are the last three texts/dms you received from? Margo, Lolly, Mark.

What are you listening to? Nothing.

Are you one to take naps? Nope. They make me feel gross.

Did you ever have braces? Nope.

Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? Yes.

Are you afraid of flying? No. It makes me a little uneasy, sure, but overall I don’t mind it.

Do you have freckles? On my arms.

Do you have plans for today? Work and then I have to finish cleaning my dad’s to prepare for my friends staying there this week with me until we leave for the Dells on Friday.

Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger than you? My husband is 5 years older than me.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? He’s sleeping or just getting up.

If you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? Probably avocado.

What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning? It hasn’t hit that quite yet lol.

What was the last thing you drank? Iced Coffee.

Where did you get the shirt your wearing? Torrid.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? Nope, I have work at 6 am.

How often do you drink Monster? Never, I don’t like how energy drinks taste.

Are you easy to get along with? Yeah.

Are you short? 5'2".

Can you ever get enough of mac ‘n’ cheese? Nope, I love mac n cheese.

Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? Nope.

Do you have trust issues? Yes, in that certain people have let me down time after time when I’ve asked them to take care of something or help me with something.

Is there someone you want to let go of? My fucking brother in law but unfortunately I’m stuck with him.

Do you have any regrets? Eh.

Has anyone ever called the cops on you? Yes.

How old are you? 34.

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? I did actually. Margo and I were chatting on twitter until we fell sleep.

Do you go to church every Sunday? Nope, I never go.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Right now.

Do you like your height? I’m fine with it. It’s never negatively impacted my life.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? He is not. He’s married to me.

Could you go a week without brushing your teeth? I have before, depression is fun y’all.

What day is it? Monday.

Are you usually awake at midnight? Not usually. I tend to pass out between 10pm-11pm on work nights. On weekends I’ll usually be up until at least midnight.

Does it get really cold where you live? Yes.

When you get home from school / work do you change into your pjs right away? My pants and bra usually come right off lol.

Have you ever been peer pressured to smoke pot? I wasn’t pressured into it, no.

Have you ever played the game Sims 3? Nope.

What is the temperature currently in the town you live in? 64F.

Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Rarely. This was actually in another survey I did recently too. Who is making these? Lol. Anyway, I will drink it with a PB&J or Oreos or something every once in a while.

If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? Nope.

What year were you born in? 1989.

[sun-lit-roses]

Brief Candle

I’m back! The holidays kinda took me out of the mood to watch new things rather than binge Star Trek for the eleven billionth time, but new year, new Stargate episodes! Booyah! Here we go, Season 1, Episode 9:

Okay I’m thinking Greek this time?

Yay, so is Daniel! I feel so smart.

Well, childbirth is something new for the series, sure.

Love everyone automatically looking at Sam. Just because she has the same parts doesn’t mean she knows what the hell to do 😂 Same, Sam.

I’ve missed the intro music 💗

Of course Daniel knows what to do! He’s our hero!

Well. Theoretically, he knows what to do. But they aren’t going to kill off a baby in the first ten minutes of the show, so I have high hopes.

Jack and Teal’c have noped out of that situation. Mood.

Aw, a baby! That is clearly not a newborn. But a baby!

Everyone is young and pretty - what is this, a teen drama?

Wow, this lady is not subtle at all.

And yet Jack is somehow startled by ‘the cake is only for you.’

Sam is definitely not surprised. Is laughing at your CO against regulations?

Also, all I can think of is ‘the cake is a lie.’ Wrong decade. But still.

Ma’am, you’re supposed to wait until your crush can’t see you before you trade high fives with your besties.

Oh good, the time honored tradition of tormenting your teammates is alive and well in Stargate. Always my favorite part 😁

Okay, judging by that last look Jack gave Sam for giggling, laughing at your CO might not be against regulations, but it is definitely not recommended if you want to stay out of the dog house. Or KP duty. Whatever.

Oh no, his vision’s going all fuzzy! WAS THE CAKE A LIE

She drugged him and is now... dancing for him? Oh and now dragging him away, that’s a little more what I expected.

Um, shouldn’t the team be fighting a little harder to intervene? This seems out of character? He just got dragged off by an alien stranger?

So the roofie wore off, Jack has no idea what happened, and he may have killed a woman with sex? This episode took a left.

Oh, everyone is just asleep. But then why does Jack look so freaked out? I mean, other than the roofie thing.

Ooooo awkward.

Bet there’s not training in ‘how to greet your team while wearing a sheet.’ I also bet that Jack wishes there was.

I can’t tell if Sam is accusatory or concerned.

Well, definitely concern all around now. Passing out will do that. What all is up with that cake?? Roofie *and* universe’s best sleeping medication?

 Poor Jack. He is not having a good time.

Wait, the other people aren’t hungover. So is it not the cake that makes them pass out?

T’ealc’s ‘You never before inquired’ when Daniel asks why he didn’t tell him he knew what the temple symbols meant. He’s not wrong. 😂

Teal’c just casually opening up the statue while Daniel rambles. King.

That is a *really* cool tablet.

Aha! That’s why they made a big deal out of the birth mark! So we could identify this kid who’s growing up WAY too fast.

Wait, the original dude. He said 100 days of celebration or something. What if it’s not a festival, but some kind of sped up time thing? Sped up lives? Or is the planet sped up, and our intrepid heros are going to return home and find a year passed or something?

Looks like the former! So does each day equal one year for these people?

I’d make a joke about cradle robbing, but since Jack was drugged and not consenting, I’ll refrain. Also, if it’s 1 day = 1 year, then 31 years seems respectable.

A virus?

Oh no, that means Jack only has 100 days to live?! Or less, maybe? Not sure how that translates if they start out older. He was growing on me!

Whoa that sunset came on fast.

Yay, it’s the Cool Doc again! I’m glad she came back. She better not die like Kowalsky did after two episodes. I’ve got trust issues with this show now.

Floppy disks. Now there’s a throwback.

OH great, starting out older sounds like it accelerates this? So how much time does he have??

Holy receding hairline, Batman.

TWO WEEKS?!

I mean, he’s right to send them away, best to be on the safe side and they can make trips for info that they need. I’m glad their disease protocols are improving! Although considering they let Carter traipse back and forth... still not great.

Nanotech? Will that be easier to destroy than a normal virus? Just wave a big EMP in Jack’s direction, see what happens?

Pretty sure arguing with the statue isn’t a *great* use of your time, Jack, but I can’t really blame you.

MARRIAGE cake?

I’m not sure yelling at the woman about the only culture she’s ever known is really going to help matters here.

How does their aging work anyway - everyone looks young. Where are the people who are 70 or 80 days old? Or do they not visibly age after a certain point? But they don’t seem surprised by Jack’s appearance, so that doesn’t make sense.

Also, is there just like a *massive* graveyard somewhere if people are dying off so quickly?

I really need to stop trying to figure out the internal logic of a planet that, based on how the show has gone so far, we’re never going to see again.

How does Jack know that there isn’t like a forcefield or laser grid to keep the Chosen from leaving? I guess they probably scanned the area for things like that.

This is... possibly very sweet? I know Kynthia is trying to be nice, but sex really can’t solve everything, honey.

Also, are they going to have sex right in front of the Stargate? What if someone comes through. All ‘We have a cure!... OH.’

Could we have a Jack episode that *doesn’t* make me want to cry? Please?

Well, that’s taking de-throning a god very seriously.

Okay, this has been bugging me the whole time, WHERE do I know the blonde female alien from? The actress, I mean. I’m going to have to look her up after the episode, aren’t I.

They’re going to run into some sort of forcefield by leaving the village aren’t they?

There is some sort of... something? They’re awake? Jack isn’t younger, though.

The statue! Has a blinky thing!

Our team to the rescue!

They fixed everyone and Jack gets to live. Love a happy ending.

Aw. Maybe Kynthia can fall for someone new with all the years she has now. Maybe without drugging them first this time.

[spockandawe]

Okay, you know what, I think I'm going to do an impassioned rant on behalf of romance. This isn't a super fresh idea, I've seen much more knowledgeable people than me advocate hard on romance's behalf for years and years, I know people are still actively fighting to get this megagenre the recognition it deserves instead of being brushed off as Literature Lite. But I do want to come at this from the perspective of someone who just doesn't... super jive with the genre. I respect it a lot, romance writers intimidate the hell out of me, and now I have found some books and subgenres that I do enjoy, but that's only been the last year or so.

(I gravitate to sf/f and like a good romantic element, but I'm most happy when it's in support of a bigger plot. The gay lovecraftian historical has background stakes of horrors beyond mortal comprehension, the a/b/o shifter polycule has stakes of slow species extinction, I have more intriguing books marked to read as well. And of course, there's more monsterfucking than I used to imagine, and I am ALWAYS down for imaginative anatomy in my smut)

With a readmore, in case tumblr doesn't auto-shorten right

And what got me thinking about this was the goodreads awards, and the deeply unsurprising win by SJM. I don't like her writing, just 'females' alone is close to a hard no for me, and while I understand the broad appeal of her books, I'm confused and frustrated by the... intensity of their popularity, and I was talking with someone in my book club about it, who feels similarly. My very, very uncharitable knee-jerk take was that there's a lot of young adults who want to read about sex, and don't realize that the romance and fanfic communities have already done it better.

That's not fair of me, to be clear! I am also a person who chooses sf/f-with-romance-subplot over a sf/f romance book. I might find her worldbuilding choices trite, but I'll still mumble at length over how the belgariad and mallorean are actually a lot of fun if you give them a chance. 'Alphahole' might make me emit pterodactyl shrieks of irritation, but so do most of the names in goblin emperor, and I have lots of friends who very much enjoy that book. I stand by my opinions, but my personal tastes are not an objective measure of quality or enjoyability.

And, because I think it has to be said, I think there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with people wanting to read about sex. Nothing. The growing puritanism of the wider internet is extremely alarming to me, and I have no patience with it. I think my archives make it plenty clear that I'm down with smut, I only started writing period because I wanted more atla:lok kink than I was finding, and my archives used to make it very clear that I was equally down for sexy art. I'm terminally online, immersed in fandom, one of the fics I've worked with most for bookbinding (and have plans for in the future) is a space clown bdsm xeno epic. Plenty of sex to be found on ao3 and I just said I don't read much romance. So what gives?

Smash cut to podcasts. I listen to podcasts. And I've tried many times over to find a fandom podcast I jive with. I haven't yet, and I don't think that's the fault of the podcasters. I've got high hopes for the hs reading podcast, for example. But I also remember the first time I realized transformers podcasts were a thing (circa mtmte 47), and opened up an older episode to find the hosts (circa mtmte 13) having an earnest discussion about how rewind might have been attached to dominus ambus, but it seems like maybe dominus ambus owned him, and rewind cared for him as a good master. When the episode was recorded, the comics weren't overtly gay yet, there was no reason to believe they'd be given the thumbs up to GET gay, but it still made my skin crawl to hear about this couple that I knew were husbands, and the podcasters chatting about how one probably owned the other, and I noped out and never went back.

That was a running theme, to my frustration! When podcasts talk about characterization for stories I know, I've got strong opinions. I either have conversations about those with a carefully curated group of friends, or i place opinions forth into the void on here without expecting or particularly wanting conversation about it. And the written word moves faster than spoken, I can read a 15 hour audiobook in less than a day, the time sink of bad tumblr takes versus bad podcast takes is very different. And. Even worse. Sometimes fandom podcasts wade into DISCOURSE. I don't want this. I have a nicely pruned dash, I scroll quickly, and still I could use less discourse. I still get flashbacks to the transformers barbarian au debacle. I really don't want this.

I did realize, eventually, that fandom podcasts were just not working for me. I was tense waiting for discourse and ready to fight the empty air about bad characterization or analysis. But even worse than that, a lot of the time I was bored, I didn't want to hear a detailed critical breakdown of hp when my ancient interest has faded to dying embers. I've never cared about spn or dr who. I want to get into the podcast about shipping dynamics, but it's hard to get excited when I know that I'm just not INTO a lot of the big megaliths that people will rave about. Or, I'm interested in something and haven't consumed yet (ofmd) and I'm staring down the barrel of spoilers for a story I want to experience. But I want to HEAR people discuss what makes the farmers look at the story fields and say 'yep, should be a good crop of praise kink this year'

Frustrating!!! Anyways, back to romance. Romance podcasts.

Because you know what? I can get a LOT of that same content, about character dynamics and interactions and smoking hot sex scenes, and I can get it all delivered with the same fannish delight and enthusiasm it just comes with slightly different packaging than I experience myself online. I forget what pointed me at fated mates (and many of their trailblazer episodes are eye-opening, especially when they interview some gay and lesbian romance pioneers), which was nice, but I started subscribing to podcasts they recommended, and found a HOME with bonkers romance.

I'd been kind of feeling this in the back of my head, that the way these people scream over stories together was very identifiable, but something didn't quite CLICK until bonkers romance that this is really parallel (or divergent?) evolution. Just on behalf of sexism, I was already outraged over the broad dismissal of romance. But then I hear the hosts losing their minds over an absolute batshit story, like, idk, the spidertaur alien and the human who crash-landed on his planst, and how he's trying take care of her and she's not quite REALIZING that yet-- These are, very much, my people! There's a historical romance where a widow is trying to get Ruined to avoid a new marriage and shyly confesses to her new sex-club-owning beau that she's always wanted to kiss a woman, and he arranges a scene where she does that! The hosts go nuts as much as I do! This novel is a bdsm awakening sans impact play but with HEAVY praise kink tied into low self-worth! This one is about a nice young man and his boyfriend, the terrifying smoke monster!

I did decide to wander over and rant about this at length when they were discussing one of the 365 days movies (glorious? sexy? delightful? yes, apparently. good? ehhhhhh) and had a side tangent about how romance novels were so formative and how Stories With Sex were important to them as they grew up, and trying to GET them in a pre-internet age. They're at least 10ish years older than me, I think, I was split between internet awakening and novels (mccaffrey, auel). And the discussion was so familiar, about how fiction is a space for young folks to be introduced to some of these ideas and work through them on their own terms, I won't rehash it, we've all seen it before. And THEN there was further discussion about how the 365 days story has set things up so that a happy, satisfying ending would have to be a triad, right? They doubt it's going there, m/m/f is a long shot for Manly Mafia Men, but the conversational beats are exactly what I live for.

And, looping back in the fandom podcast thing again, I'm getting all this without character analysis I disagree with, I'm getting it without the fandom disk horse beats that I dread, and I'm getting it without spoilers for stories I want to consume. On the occasions a story intro has intrigued me enough to read ('as if', 'unhallowed', 'manix'), I've jumped to the next episode until I can consume it, and that has gotten me reading romance for the first time ever, and shocker, I enjoyed it! I don't think it'll ever be my primary genre, but my tastes are pretty established, and it hit those notes. I am having a FANTASTIC TIME, and I can relate to these people going nuts over X romance book perhaps better than I can relate to people going nuts over, idk, supernatural

This is too long but I'm too deep to stop now! If anyone reads this far, I'm sure to some of you, I'm preaching to the choir. I know there are fandom people who read romance already. But I want to wave this vaguely at people who are uninterested in romance, or who think there's a hard and fast line between fanfic romance and ofic romance. I've already read queer ofic a/b/o and monsterfucking and polycules, and I've barely scratched the surface. I think it is good for people to read both fanfic and ofic, but it's not my job to be the reading police (my solution: be too distracted to read either one), but even without reading, I think it's a worthwhile community to absorb, and to observe. I'll listen to a youtuber dissect a video game I'll never play for hours, and bask in new knowledge acquired. This is very similar, but even more aligned with my own creative/consumptive preferences, and I think more people should try it. I would come up with a strong concluding sentence but my awareness that this is too long has tripped over into profound self-consciousness so okay we're done, bye now, hahaha

[microsuedemouse]

you know the character trope - pretty much exclusively used for villains - of the woman who possesses the power to make any and every man around her fall in love (lust) with her, and thus she builds an army of slobbering man-drones to do her bidding? I often seem to have a similar effect, except only on men maybe 20+ years my senior, and instead of inspiring sexual desire I bring out their fatherly affections.

I don’t know exactly why this happens, but it’s been pretty consistent throughout my adult life, and especially obvious when I’m working in retail (and also during my summer at the optometrist’s office). it comes up a lot at the grocery store. I can think of a couple instances of this phenomenon off the top of my head, like the time I quipped to a customer that I had to do something ‘so I don’t get in trouble.’

“Pshh, that doesn’t happen!” said the guy behind him in line, immediately.

“Yeah, I can’t really imagine it,” agreed the man in front of me.

“All she’d have to do is smile and all would be forgiven!”

“Exactly!”

(Both older gentlemen, both being utterly sweet even while joking around. 😭)

Or, as another example - if you’re working in the last hour-ish of the day, you’ll see a lot of the night crew trickling in, and many of them will do a quick shopping run before they clock in, so at cash we get to know their faces. One of the night managers, Mark, is a very pleasant guy around my parents’ age. One evening I was bagging Mark’s groceries while my coworker Colin rung him up, and Mark glanced over and commented how much he liked seeing me when he came in. “Her smile just lights everything right up, eh? Don’t you think?” he asked, looking expectantly at Colin.

Colin, who is nine years my junior and did not know me well enough yet at that point to be 100% smooth playing along, initially just grinned, with a touch of amusement (whether more at Mark or at my own mild floundering at the compliment, I’m still not sure). When he realised Mark was looking for an actual response, he just chuckled, “I’d say so, yeah.” At which point Mark nodded, pleased to be in agreement, and paid for his groceries.

I do not know how I have this effect on people at 28 years old, even taking into account the fact that I’m often mistaken for younger. When I was an adorable (plus smart and polite - killer combo with the grownups) little girl, it made sense that dads loved me. Now? Who knows! I mean, I’ll certainly take it over being hit on, which I’m extremely grateful to say has never happened to me at work. The only flirting I receive is the silly and decidedly harmless kind that comes from grandpa-type men who are, sincerely, just being playful. These interactions aren’t the untoward kind - they’re more reminiscent, to me, of the way my own dad treats my female friends: respectful, fond and sweet, caring. The vibe is like, this man would probably be happy to give me some sound advice and a lift home from the slumber party.

But yeah. I very consistently bring out the fatherly/grandfatherly affection in seemingly any man over the age of 50 or so who has an ounce of paternal kindness in him. And I do so more than many of my female friends or coworkers do. Is it because I look so young? Because I don’t wear makeup and I dress more like a kid than a ~Grown Woman~? It’s true that in my head I’m little more than an overgrown child, but does that energy actually come through - in a positive fashion, no less - to other people (and especially dad types)? Do I just exude some kind of undefinable Beloved (Grand)Daughter vibes?

I don’t actually remember what on earth got me thinking about this tonight, tbh. But I had to get my rambles out, so here you are. This is my weird tiny useless superpower: I attract fatherliness, entirely without meaning to. I feel like there must be a way to leverage this ability, but I’m not sure what it is? Also I’d be a terrible supervillain anyway.

[baekhvuns]

Hello! No London for me bestie, I'm not going back to the UK, I'll be in Prague actually 😂 then maybe Italy if I have enough money and energy

SM artists truly need to unonise, because Taeyeon now?! SM can't respect their older idols aka those who have been brining money to their table for years, I don't even know what's the newest groups' situation like. AND A NEW GG soon?!?!? Also where are Shotaro and Sungchan, where is their group at..... I'm so tired

CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED SHINEE'S CONCERTS I HATE EVERYTHING. At least I watched the livestream 😭 and everyone was there, Jongin </333 Okay, love my 5th gen rookie Shinee <333 Hard is very "current bgs sound" it does sound like Nctee a little bit, but the vocals!!! Sounds like a banger tbh, it's not too weird so I can digest it quickly lmao. I like when Shinee is having fun, even though it may not be my fave TT from them, I feel like I may like it more than DCM. The MV was very NCT, perhaps not my fave, SM is a hit or miss with their music videos. Anyways, it's very 1st gen, got some Seo Taji and the Boys vibes. BUT THE BSIDEEEEEES!

It's frustrating because KQ can put so much thought and creativity into the lore, the MVs got so much better too, but the photos? And why do they only post one for each concept, Hybe drops 2737272 photos and they're usually really cool.

Shinee's concepts may be simple, but the Thom Browne ones are very aesthetically pleasing and the NCT-esque ones are fun too, because the pics are dynamic despite the boring background. Love all the boards you've prepared! I actually bought some more SM albums, particularly NCT's and Aespa's (I know, fuck SM, but I got a good deal) and the photos?! WOW. The issue is KQ is scared of taking risks, they can't commit fully, even the outfits for this comeback, we thought we'd be getting Yeehawteez, but it's so half-assed and we're back to fucking bikers and bodyguards, lol. And I'll never understand why they had funky hair colours for Halazia and not this. And now Jongho is purple??? A bit late, mate. I genuinely think the hair could add more quirkiness to the concept photos

(I appreciate the idea of combining regular photos with manhwa concept, but not sure about the execution https://twitter.com/zhouang/status/1671524592387596288?t=OtcpMguvP4yo722xCzVnWg&s=19)

I know we're in the cyber post-apo world and they probably won't be back to the sea y'know, like pirates, but if we ever actually get the sea concept. A.C.E are truly the standard https://twitter.com/sehyoonshoney/status/1661359705506164741?t=B4l7FsVLKDdePdTlMwOTlQ&s=19

Seriously??? The man is trying and yet https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1672083626736095233?t=7QYMQFWYXUf3LPgcWGdZTw&s=19

Yes, Outlaw just like Movement is very cohesive, but I feel like that kind of cohesiveness is overrated and a bit too much. The songs blend in, I don't know where one ends and another one begins, and they're STACKED with noise and switch ups, so listening to the whole thing from the beginning to the end is a lot. ZFP1 is a cohesive album, it fits the late summer vibe, yet each song is very different. I'd say ZFP3 is similar. I just wish they let Jongho's voice rest, the amount of high notes *sigh* I think it's Wake Up? He straight up yells, and listen I'm an opera lover, but this isn't it ://// Edenary is pissing me off a bit, ngl...

Sorry, everyone's meeting Yuta except you 😭 the same friend of mine met Taeyong twice, once he walked past her on the way to Loewe's show (and girl lost her earring), then gave her his autographs after the show.... 😭 and hold on?! https://twitter.com/mintmag_th/status/1672549191372124170?t=YYeGI5dSL65PF-FbjGREnQ&s=19

Ok but 127's line up I just.... gonna say something possibly controversial, but I don't think it's that unpopular: Haechan should be in Dream only and Mark in 127, they're already overworked. I love TY and I know why he's the center, but putting my bias aside I feel like sometimes his time could be given to someone else, same with lines. Or maybe if they had a proper 3rd rapper, not Jamal, he needs to sing! And not Johnny - bless him, but he's not a rapper, sometimes they make Yuta rap and I can't even... Wait, did you hear this cover Yuta did? https://www.instagram.com/p/Csi1KVEo5_3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== I really like the original and I can't believe he did that 😭 my jrock loving ass was shook

Troye?! https://twitter.com/5ugaring/status/1672121681866014721?t=ZJtmpVafz1VTQsiqupEsdQ&s=19 why are you everywhere jgdhahajshdhahshshs he got Taeyong too 🥴

Uncle Hwaaaa! Oh to be a little kid and paint Hwa's toenails and run around carelessly ajhdhshdhahshsjshsshhaag and what's with all that kids content? Rip to y'alls ovaries or something 🤭 it's just like that one kindergarten teacher Seonghwa fic I once read

HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE I'M SO DAMAGED YET HEALED BECAUSE OF THESE PICTURES LIKE?!?!?! https://twitter.com/pseonghwapics/status/1671800295607730176?t=WK-G9vQ55AbTm_2jkdGUCg&s=19 AND https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1671662936652120067?t=rS8KzmH1gZC9GlxamGwjCA&s=19

BITCH THESE PHOTOS I- https://twitter.com/aurorahopee/status/1672552412383531008?t=BUwMKD8sfT3Xcp7IZ9YUfA&s=19

The Titan situation is sad, but at the same time, why do people do that? It didn't sound safe from the beginning, like leave the Titanic alone...and now they shared the same fate, the 19 year old shouldn't have been there... :/ ofc it's an awful thing, if they were even alive up to this point, imagine waiting for your death. But also MONEY TRULY MAKES PEOPLE GO FUCKING DERANGED WTF

Heeeeeey, See You in My 19th Life drama!? I totally missed it. Also started Bloodhounds, it's so sad, but wholesome too and WDH is so good, I missed him

Do the quiz Baek, I got Ricciardo lmao: https://uquiz.com/quiz/V6eoyv?p=983346

????? Wow https://www.reddit.com/r/kpop/comments/14imekp/former_miss_a_member_jiaformer_fx_member_amber/

And yet another Min Hee Jin controversy, I hate her so much. But I hate the defendes even more - DV 💖

hello!!!!

Hello! No London for me bestie, I'm not going back to the UK, I'll be in Prague actually 😂 then maybe Italy if I have enough money and energy //// SM artists truly need to unonise, because Taeyeon now?! SM can't respect their older idols aka those who have been brining money to their table for years, I don't even know what's the newest groups' situation like. AND A NEW GG soon?!?!? Also where are Shotaro and Sungchan, where is their group at..... I'm so tired

hello!! u escaping london three times i know why, u don’t wanna see the treble winners celebrations i get it 🤚🏻 OOOOO IN PRAGUE??? ITALY???? PLS FBQKDBWK LIVING THE ACTUAL LIFE !!!!! live ur old money in italy, wine and cheese and fruits (im sorry but what is that combo??) no bc taeyeon and everyone need to unionize??? fifty fifty also suing their company + IU fans sending trucks to her company??? is this truck season 😭😭 sm truly never lets their groups hit their peak and keep hitting it and make them bigger and brighter and better??? A NEW GG W SO MANY MEMBERS??? a girls generation dupe?? 😭😭 im so glad i bought nct’s resonance album bc they had everyone in it like sungchan was like jaejoong’s 4th generation,,, sm couldn’t have two jaejoong’s in one group they had to get him out 😭😭😭

CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED SHINEE'S CONCERTS I HATE EVERYTHING. At least I watched the livestream 😭 and everyone was there, Jongin </333 Okay, love my 5th gen rookie Shinee <333 Hard is very "current bgs sound" it does sound like Nctee a little bit, but the vocals!!! Sounds like a banger tbh, it's not too weird so I can digest it quickly lmao. I like when Shinee is having fun, even though it may not be my fave TT from them, I feel like I may like it more than DCM. The MV was very NCT, perhaps not my fave, SM is a hit or miss with their music videos. Anyways, it's very 1st gen, got some Seo Taji and the Boys vibes. BUT THE BSIDEEEEEES!

NAURURUEUEUO I SAW THE CLIPS AND EVERYONE AND THEIR MAMA WAS AT THE SHOW??? minho is such a dilf. JONGIN IS LIVING HIS LIFE LIKE AFTER HIS 9-5 IS DONE HE IS OUT AND LIVING and pissing armies off fhkwhdkwdk 😭😭😭AND KAI??? like i bet he’s at his 9 to 5 not knowing he gagged everyone,,, my 4th gen kings.. god and the tittle track is a mix of love shot and kokobop, how will they do the sexy without the original sexy.

HARD IS ACTUALLY SO SEO TAJI AND BOYS THEME UR SO SO RIGHT I DID A LIVE REVIEW AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH,, me listening to this all like

— they didn’t sing that much till 1:56?? when the beat went to taemin it made me realize that i didn’t hear them sing enough

— THE BEAT KIND LIKE BIG POPPA’S BEAT THE WEST SIDE SIRENY WHEN IT THEY SAY HARD LIKE MA FLOW AND BOOM ITS THAT SIREN NOISE

— DUCKIGKW EJKQHDKWHD THIS IS HIP HOP FHWKFJWK THE ENDING AT THE “KOOOO” THIS IS HIP HOP !!! WEST SIDE !!!! THIS IS SO GOOD FUCK OFF IM SO INTO THIS IS SEO TAIJI BOYS AND THE GROUP TEDDY PARK WAS IN FUCK OFFFFFF THIS IS SO GOOD RHWKDHKW my only complaint is they sand less in the first majority half aND THAT THIS WAS A VERY SHORT SONG this gotta he put on kdrama edits immediately

also did the bsides :::

juice : FUCK IT UP I LIKE U I LIKE SO MUCH SHINEE U GOT SO MUCH JUICE 😭😭 BASS???? DEM JOINTZ X KENZIE DID THIS??? FUCK IT UPPPP !!!!!!! DEM JOINTZ ILYSM

10x : oh ayo??? so funky retro piano?? WAIT OKAY THIS GOT FLOWYY PHEWW THIS IS TRIPPY current fav,, this is so chill omg a cute funky poppy song that can be played at retail stores

satellite : HARMONIES ??? classic shinee x new sm?? this is so nostalgic like it belongs in a show like stranger things omg their voices blended together is >>>

identity : MOONSHINE FUCK IT UPPPPP THIS IS SO FUN,, NAH THIS ONE WON THIS IS IT THIS IS ITTTTTTT MOONSHINE I LOVE U SO MUCH U NEVER DISAPPOINT ME 😭😭😭OH THIS IS MY FAVOURITE OHH MY DAYSS??? ONEQWW UR VOICE FHWKDHW

the feeling ; so nostalgic 🤚🏻🤚🏻

like it : oh this is kokobop album vibes,,, OHOOOO THE ANGELIC BGM,,, YES YES YES THIS IS SO SUMMERY FHWKDJWK OH GOD THIS IS ALSO SO FX CODED OMG ROADTRIP

sweet misery : oh we slow omg,, nostalgia?? almost like atz’s fever?? MY JAW DROPPED SO HARD OH MY GOD SWEET MEMORIES LINE??? OH GOD OH MY GOD THE BEAT FHKWHDKAHDKADBKADJAKJDKA THIS IS SHINEE’S FEVER,,, OH MY GODD THIS WHEJ UR ON A ROADTRIP IN A CONVERTIBLE UR HANDS OUT THE CAR AND LEANING ON UR ARMS OHHHH MY GODDDD SHINEEEEEE DECZ & BOUTIN I LOVE U FUCK OFFF THIS IS SO GOOOD IM CRYING

insomnia : oUUUUUUU ok ok it’s like ur in those edits “ur in a bathroom while the party is outside” ou key??? oHHHHHHHHH???? BASS IS CRAZY oh my god this is trippy but fun,, so lowkey,, yes. GOD THIS IS SO GOOD THIS BEAT IS BEATING LIKE NEVER BEFORE

gravity : oh ballad?? oHo oUU THE DROP omg the blueee note wowzie yes serve a calming rainy day song,, OH OH FUCK FBQMDHWK GRAVITY GRAVITY YEAH THE VOICES 😭😭😭😭😭 SHINEE I LOVE U SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭 this is so chill but playful,, like a kdrama song where they show a montage of them falling in love omg

my current list : sweet misery, gravity, satellite, insomnia, identity and then everyone else

It's frustrating because KQ can put so much thought and creativity into the lore, the MVs got so much better too, but the photos? And why do they only post one for each concept, Hybe drops 2737272 photos and they're usually really cool.

rIGHT??? they need a new creative director or something bc there’s soOOO much that can be done?? like give us every single penny form ur budget in that photobook,, GIVE US FILTER SOME FACIAL FEATURES need them to hire a sm creative director, i just need to see something,, ur right! hybe has great photos, sm’s 2014 era esp fs’s red tape side, wowzie like let’s get on that bar 😭😭

Shinee's concepts may be simple, but the Thom Browne ones are very aesthetically pleasing and the NCT-esque ones are fun too, because the pics are dynamic despite the boring background. Love all the boards you've prepared! I actually bought some more SM albums, particularly NCT's and Aespa's (I know, fuck SM, but I got a good deal) and the photos?! WOW. The issue is KQ is scared of taking risks, they can't commit fully, even the outfits for this comeback, we thought we'd be getting Yeehawteez, but it's so half-assed and we're back to fucking bikers and bodyguards, lol. And I'll never understand why they had funky hair colours for Halazia and not this. And now Jongho is purple??? A bit late, mate. I genuinely think the hair could add more quirkiness to the concept photos

sEE ITS MY ONE FAVOURITE THING ABT SM,, even if the photos are simple, there’s just so much to look at. like their features, the makeup, the camera angle, the bright outfits and it POPS w the shinee one esp?? LIKE it’s so simple but they make it look so like an editorial from a street fashion magazine???

(I appreciate the idea of combining regular photos with manhwa concept, but not sure about the execution https://twitter.com/zhouang/status/1671524592387596288?t=OtcpMguvP4yo722xCzVnWg&s=19) /// I know we're in the cyber post-apo world and they probably won't be back to the sea y'know, like pirates, but if we ever actually get the sea concept. A.C.E are truly the standard https://twitter.com/sehyoonshoney/status/1661359705506164741?t=B4l7FsVLKDdePdTlMwOTlQ&s=19 /// Seriously??? The man is trying and yet https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1672083626736095233?t=7QYMQFWYXUf3LPgcWGdZTw&s=19

when i first saw this, it remained me of exo’s power era where they implemented comic books into their concept but differently than what atz did,, theirs suits it! the green meshes w the comic style im glad there’s no cloud bubble with some random thing written in it 😭😭 UR SO TRUE ACE’S PHOTOS FOR THAT ERA WERE SO MAGICAL IT GAVE ARIEL A RUN FOR HER MONEY?? esp w those hanboks wow???? ateez doing that but in their piratey outfit, in the water like that, w like a little glitter in the water <33 SEONGHWA REALLY IS TRYING WITH THE BARE MINIMUM LIKE GIVE HIM SO SOME METAL ROD OR SOMETHING OR A BROKEN TV HE COULD LEAN ON 😭😭

Yes, Outlaw just like Movement is very cohesive, but I feel like that kind of cohesiveness is overrated and a bit too much. The songs blend in, I don't know where one ends and another one begins, and they're STACKED with noise and switch ups, so listening to the whole thing from the beginning to the end is a lot. ZFP1 is a cohesive album, it fits the late summer vibe, yet each song is very different. I'd say ZFP3 is similar. I just wish they let Jongho's voice rest, the amount of high notes *sigh* I think it's Wake Up? He straight up yells, and listen I'm an opera lover, but this isn't it ://// Edenary is pissing me off a bit, ngl...

everything u said here esp “i don't know where one ends and another one begins,” !!!! THEY ARE STACKED ABSOLUTE TO SOUND THE SAME oh ur spoke so right, zfp1 was so late summer almost autumn, it’s like each song was a different weather or season transitioning into the other,, no ur right some songs he’s just yelling, i wish to hear his softer notes where he completely breaks us,, with those almost whisper like notes OHHH IM WAITING FOR THAT DAYYY SO PATIENTLY LIKE JONGHO BREAK ME!!! sometimes his notes reminds me of winters,, sometimes there’s some similarities may b just me 🤚🏻im with u on that

Sorry, everyone's meeting Yuta except you 😭 the same friend of mine met Taeyong twice, once he walked past her on the way to Loewe's show (and girl lost her earring), then gave her his autographs after the show.... 😭 and hold on?! https://twitter.com/mintmag_th/status/1672549191372124170?t=YYeGI5dSL65PF-FbjGREnQ&s=19

NO BC IM FURIOUS GET THE FUCK OUT YALL OUT HERE MEETING TAEYONF ON THE STREETS??? the most i ever met a idol was svt being 10 mins away from me and me not noticing until they posted pictures w them stripping in the ocean. LOST HER EARRING?? gonna be a delulu and say did taeyong find it and did it become her cinderella momenf,, OH WITH EMRATA??? wait now that i think about it they kinda look alike 🧍🏻‍♀️

Ok but 127's line up I just.... gonna say something possibly controversial, but I don't think it's that unpopular: Haechan should be in Dream only and Mark in 127, they're already overworked. I love TY and I know why he's the center, but putting my bias aside I feel like sometimes his time could be given to someone else, same with lines. Or maybe if they had a proper 3rd rapper, not Jamal, he needs to sing! And not Johnny - bless him, but he's not a rapper, sometimes they make Yuta rap and I can't even... Wait, did you hear this cover Yuta did? https://www.instagram.com/p/Csi1KVEo5_3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== I really like the original and I can't believe he did that 😭 my jrock loving ass was shook

controversial but so damn talented and cohesive,, oUUU UR KINDA SUPER RIGHT i think mark fits that 127 style so much,, he brings so much spice into it and taeil easily can take over,, haechan has such a warm tone and it’s so pretty to listen to it and it somehow fits dream better?? johnny has such a nice voice like it’s so snakey esp when he said “if u happy and u know it clap ur hands” WHEWWWWW THE VOCALS ???? jamal😭😭😭 FHWKDHWK oh yuta. oh yuta that starting nOTE JUST ELEVATED ME TO A DIFF LEVEL???? SO CREEPY BUT SO PERFECT fits his scorpio so much what a talent sm scouted

Troye?! https://twitter.com/5ugaring/status/1672121681866014721?t=ZJtmpVafz1VTQsiqupEsdQ&s=19 why are you everywhere jgdhahajshdhahshshs he got Taeyong too 🥴 /// Uncle Hwaaaa! Oh to be a little kid and paint Hwa's toenails and run around carelessly ajhdhshdhahshsjshsshhaag and what's with all that kids content? Rip to y'alls ovaries or something 🤭 it's just like that one kindergarten teacher Seonghwa fic I once read

wHY IS TROYE EVERYWHERE???? MEETING EVERYONE LIKE WHAT MAGNET IS HE???? UNCLE HWA GOT THE ROWDIEST KID IT MAKES ME LAUGH BC HIS KID GOTTA BE LIKE THAT FBWNDHWKD RIP TO OVARIES SORRY IM ON MY TIME OF MONTH NOT MY OVARIES STAY SAFE THO 😭😭😭

HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE I'M SO DAMAGED YET HEALED BECAUSE OF THESE PICTURES LIKE?!?!?! https://twitter.com/pseonghwapics/status/1671800295607730176?t=WK-G9vQ55AbTm_2jkdGUCg&s=19 AND https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1671662936652120067?t=rS8KzmH1gZC9GlxamGwjCA&s=19 /// BITCH THESE PHOTOS I- https://twitter.com/aurorahopee/status/1672552412383531008?t=BUwMKD8sfT3Xcp7IZ9YUfA&s=19

he’S SO FUCKING CYBERCORE ??? LIKE KQ BE DOIKG THE STYLE WRITE ONLY FOR DAYS LIKE THIS BUT NEVER AS A FULL CONCEPT HE WOULD SLAY SO HARD OMG FHANDHKW YEAH THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE NEED

HE IS SO BOBA

The Titan situation is sad, but at the same time, why do people do that? It didn't sound safe from the beginning, like leave the Titanic alone...and now they shared the same fate, the 19 year old shouldn't have been there... :/ ofc it's an awful thing, if they were even alive up to this point, imagine waiting for your death. But also MONEY TRULY MAKES PEOPLE GO FUCKING DERANGED WTF

it really is so extremely sad esp on the 19yo who wanted to please his dad and went with him omg 😭😭😭 saw posts from ppl saying that if your death is written in the depth of the ocean, you'll rent even a submarine to reach there on time. it’s so awful knowing that they can never recover their remains bc they’re probably just nothing now,, i feel for their family especially the man’s wife who said they were having a hard time breathing just thinking about them 🤲🏻🤲🏻 i just know the father’s biggest regret was bringing his son with him,, also saw a video of a man who was supposed to be in that exact ship a week before but didn’t go bc the weather was terrible and it shows the head guy saying what was wrong, and they still went. ill link it here bc it was truly scary to watch,,, makes me think that the guy in the video who brought the wreath for the titanic, titanic took saved him in that way

and this seems very awfully familiar.

Heeeeeey, See You in My 19th Life drama!? I totally missed it. Also started Bloodhounds, it's so sad, but wholesome too and WDH is so good, I missed him /// Do the quiz Baek, I got Ricciardo lmao: https://uquiz.com/quiz/V6eoyv?p=983346

YES IT ISSS !!!! ITS ACTUALLY SO GOOD??? bloodhounds got me crying man 😭😭😭 wdh’s acting just, it’s something about his face that when he cries it PAINS me to watch,, im also vv glad he’s back! hoping he gets some big projects and picks his options wisely!!! I DID AND I FBWNFHSJ I FOT SEBASTIAN 😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO??? NOT U GETTING HIM 😭😭

????? Wow https://www.reddit.com/r/kpop/comments/14imekp/former_miss_a_member_jiaformer_fx_member_amber/ /// And yet another Min Hee Jin controversy, I hate her so much. But I hate the defendes even more - DV 💖

OH THE VISUALS??? jia’s visuals are so beautiful like wow wow wow god is a woman.

im actually so appalled by the topic, like there’s absolutely no way she didn’t know what she was doing, either she’s trying to get traction or completely ruining herself….like even the god damn names??? sure they are common but when u put them against that title track and the history??? im convinced she knew what was happening, did it on purpose for the sakes of popularity and didn’t not expect the potential boycott. in the name of art you’re using a t*rrorist aesthetic?? what a new low.

😭😭😭

zayn’s joining exo??? LMFAOOOO

and jongho is so pretty??? this hair suits him so much

i got a uquiz

did we….did we manifest this