#i have so many wips right now but i have a carnal need to write a gen fic that is just folk horror about the canadian golden boys trio

[seedlessmuffins]

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[covetyou]

20 questions for fic writers tag game

thanks for the tags bbs 💛 @mermaidgirl30 @whatsnewalycat @sp00kymulderr

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

23 - I cross post to ao3 just before I post anything on Tumblr, so almost everything goes there first. The only thing that isn't there is y2k and two dress up!Joel lore posts that are in fic form.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

117,356

3. What fandoms do you write for?

almost entirely Pedro - a little bit of general TLOU if we consider honey, you're familiar (tess x reader)

4. Top five fics by kudos

something wretched about this

sleepless

first steps

baubles

just a taste

on Tumblr sleepless is my top fic before the first chapter of something wretched about this - I don't keep track of it after those two!

5. do you respond to comments?

I do! I'm a bit behind right now because May/June have been kicking my ass in every way possible, but usually they get answered within a day or two.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write much angst! Feelings™ in general is not my thing.

the howler monkey is maybe my angstiest fic, but it ends quite fluffy. same as some good friend.

none of them really end too angsty! I'm all about leaving things vaguely good at the end.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the most typical happily ever after mush? jack of all trades and freeze-thaw. freeze-thaw's ending is quite cute now that I look back at it.

chaste also has a happy ending, just a very different one to a romantic feelings-y happy ending 💦 but you'll never see someone more thrilled than Dieter in that fic.

all of my fics do tbh, just not big I love you/happy families/grand gesture kind of happy endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never even had a slightly mean comment tbh

9. Do you write smut?

predominantly! everything except for y2k (not on ao3!) and my Dieter's PA loose series is smut. Dieter's PA is super fun to write because it often toes the line between almost smut and not smut at all. there's a lot of nudity and references to past sexual events, and it's the perfect place to explore silliness with Dieter.

10. Craziest crossover?

it's gotta be my carnal-val series. it's a circus AU with P-Boys each playing a part - so far we have Dieter as a clown and Whiskey as a ringmaster. I have 4 WIPs currently on the go for it, so hopefully more will be soon.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

thank goodness no. not that I know it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! I probably never will - I like to just finish and be done, and collaborating with a fic feels far more involved than my usual "fuck it, that'll do" process! I literally don't even get shit beta read.

14. All time favorite ship?

I genuinely do not have one 😁 I'm very easy to please and generally if you feed it to me I'll have a good time, so no favourite ship has ever really stuck. I generally don't care for romantic ships the same way most do.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I started a Marcus Pike fic over Christmas - I doubt that'll get finished. My OG plan for kinktober still needs to be officially scrapped (I wrote something wretched about this instead)

I also have a Dieter's PA WIP involving a coffee machine that 💀 I'm not sure anyone needs or wants to see.

not all WIPs deserve to see the light of day, and most of the fun is in the process of fucking around with characters for a little bit tbh

16. What are your writing strengths?

anything silly and slightly bizarre while somehow not being too out there. I think I'm decent at dialogue but honestly 🤷‍♀️ some days I'm shit

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

so many! I'm the vaguest amount of descriptive possible, with absolutely everything. not just because I write reader insert either 😅

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

love reading it - will probably never include it in my own fics. I don't know another language well enough to do it alone and I don't want to bother anyone to ask for help. add that to my "fuck it, that'll do" thing and it's just not a recipe for doing another language justice 😁

19. First fandom you wrote in?

h*rry p. I wrote two oneshots as a teen. one involved people getting turned into chickens and pecking someone to death and in the other someone's little toe got stolen and eventually kept in a jar. so if you're wondering if I've always been like this, the answer is yes.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I still really love best in show and some good friend. both were a little different to my usual way of doing things and I loved the result of both. I also really love the howler monkey - it opened up a lot more depth that I have planned for Dieter's PA, and I'm really excited about it

I have no clue who has and hasn't done this, but consider yourself tagged if you'd like to do it but also @strang3lov3 @beefrobeefcal @bitchesuntitled @corazondebeskar-reads toobif you're ao3 girlies.

[buckysgrace]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @jozstankovich

1.how many works do you have on ao3? 18!!

2. what's your total ao3 word count? oh boy.... 1,225,652

3. what fandoms do you write for? Stranger Things and Fargo currently! Although am wanting to write more of joe and dacre's characters i just need more content hehe.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Cruel Summer, Dancing in the Dark, Friendly Competition, Midnight Hours, Just the Two (Ok maybe four) Of Us

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? YES!!! I love responding to comments literally will talk about my work forever so beware lmao (tho it's harder for me to keep up with comments on tumblr??)

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm really not an angsty ending person I need my happily ever afters lmao. Maybe Friendly Competition via Steve's pov (so sorry Steve)

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Cruel Summer I guess? All of them sort of have a happy ending in a round about way?? I am a softie, I have no shame.

8. do you get hate on any fics? Mhmm I don't believe I have. Although I have been called a pedo idk if that counts. Have had some comments about Kim being annoying but don't think it's hate just more so an opinion?? Honestly surprised i haven't gotten more hate about the stepcest but i see you freaks out there lol.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? THE NASTY KIND! Haha love it being carnal and needy but also soft???

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one you've written? I have never wrote one but... who knows maybe some day in the future lol. I do dream about Billy as a Targaryen prince so....

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes but once I spoke to them they took it down right away :)

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Not any current fics but I do have some former 1D fics that may still be out there translated (god i hope not)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Oh yes with my love @sadhours one published many wips

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? Listen... Dramione is all time favorite. Also love percabeth now that percy jackson is out and reminding me of my childhood.

Ya know I also gotta throw in Kimgrove (Kim x Billy, thank you @cassandracorvo ) my babies

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh boy where do I even begin lol. I have a few threesomes (BillyKimSteve and BillyKimTommy and BillyKimAdrian) I have a few Harringrove ones I just cannot get to. In the end I guess the one I'd want to finish is this AU where Kim is married to Tommy but can't let go of Billy hehe

16. what are your writing strengths? imma say... smut. and making realistic ocs... idk lol maybe dialogue? At least I hope so I have mini conversations with myself when I'm writing out characters talking so fingers crossed lol.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? commas...i love commas... too many damn commas everywhere (but i love them). Anything involving fight scenes or angst.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it's fine? no real opinion I guess? I just would not try because I do not speak other languages and it makes me too anxious to trust google translate in case it's wrong lmao

19. first fandom you wrote for? One Direction omg... Zayn girlie lol.

20. favorite fic you've written? Cruel Summer for sure. Got me back into writing after a LONG pause. I'm just very happy with how it turned out too.

tags!!! (sorry i only speak to like 2 people so please if you see this and wanna do it I tag you too mwuah) @sadhours @floredaqueen @destroya-hargrove

[gorgongorgeous]

we be wip-posting

i got tagged twice by @rackartyg and @makesometime for this--you rats! this is what i get for telling y'all i'm writing things (said affectionately, jokingly, neither of you ever change, i love you both.)

as for WIPs, shall we take a trip back to those very early days?

They couldn’t have appreciated this during that skirmish in front of the Grove, too much chaos, but here, in this tiny room—it’s front-row seating before a professional dancer. He has the same sort of sinuous quality about his movements, making murder elegant in execution. Lethal performance art. No hesitation, just pure, carnal instinct. Oh, Astarion’s done this before. Basquiat is dead-to-rights sure of that. Many, many times. Maybe too many times, because he’s basking in the aftermath. Mouth ever-so-slightly parted, chest rising and falling with each deliberate breath, eyes down-turned toward his victim, so utterly engrossed that he might as well be on another plane. And something in his expression is wild and even hungry—there’s a sudden, swooping feeling through Basquiat’s gut and they want, no, they need to see that look closer-up, from the floor if necessary, from underneath him— Oh. Oh, that’s attraction. They’re attracted to watching him kill. They’re attracted to him, killing. Oh no. Sweet gods, if they don’t die here, they have got to get out more—

gonna tag @anonymousalchemist and @owlish-peacock36 since we're moots now--no obligation obviously, but friendly challenge ahoy! >:3

[athenasparrow]

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

15. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Get To Know Your Fic Writer (or send me a random ask!)

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Starting with the tricky things! The eternal debate of one-shots vs multi-chaptered fics! One-shots, with their concise nature, often offer a refreshing dive into a little world. I rarely find myself growing weary – I usually write my one-shots in one sitting and then come back and edit later. Instant gratification, you know?

Multi-chapters are an entirely different beast. The satisfaction derived from creating an extensive narrative – I was euphoric upon finishing DWOHT – surpasses any joy I've experienced with a one-shot. But there's also so much frustration that comes hand in hand with these longer works. DWOHT flowed effortlessly from me – it was flirty and mirthful and open (I was in my element) – and was a blissful journey (bar the midnight edits). I could have kept going for another 20k if I'd given myself the time. That was my first "proper" multi-chap and I hadn't experienced any frustration. Then came Miles From Nowhere (my current WIP baby), which is hopefully destined to break 60k. In its infancy, writing it was a familiar bliss (probably because I indulged in crafting my favourite moments first) and then it got tricky. I felt uninspired for a month, kept only adding sentences at a time instead of paragraphs. I got really tired of it and put it aside for a bit. I'm hoping being away from Uni will help me relax into it and get back into the zone. I have a feeling that since it carries a slightly more sombre tone than DWOHT that's why I'm struggling with it. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

My point? Who knows... love them both for very different reasons : D

15. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

Ohhh this is a good one!!!! The imagery of Lily and James' smutty encounters is always vivid in my mind, but I don't always delve into every explicit detail when transcribing my thoughts to paper. The decision hinges on whether I desire a graphic exposé of carnal delight or a more poetic depiction with a graceful time skip.

For realism... I'm going to approach this from two angles:

(1) I strive to portray Lily's orgasm as a realistic experience, emphasizing James' adeptness in eliciting such pleasure through touch. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and I like to incorporate that at every opportunity. James is a gem because he's naturally so generous - he makes it easy!

(2) My skill in smut-blocking is not impeccable lol. At times, I gleefully indulge my characters in acts that *might* be improbable, but hey, who's to say I can't sprinkle a touch of fantasy into the mix? I definitely lean towards indulgence – focus on the euphoria and flirtation – and sidestep the mundane aspects of the act itself.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Oh boy! A grand total of 19 WIPs with a myriad of short scenes to boot! It's my first day of respite from the hallowed halls of University (lol) and I've set my sights on unveiling Miles From Nowhere before I return to class : )

[thiccbuckybarnesfic]

Hello! I think you've said before that you're ok with people asking about your WIPs but if that's wrong please ignore me but if not would you like to talk about any of them? 👉👈What's your favorite one you're currently working on?

😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️ omg anon yes you are more than welcome to ask me about my wips anytime sweetheart thank you for your interest!!!

i have a ridiculous amount of wips because i took on the drabble event (which i promise im working on i just hit major writers burnout and needed to take a few weeks away) but right noooooow im working on a few top secret projects. one is a gift, one is a co-write, and another is a collab with an amazing artist and friend!! and im doing two works for the Stucky Big Bang that i am stoked for but those won't be posted until i believe november❤️ since those are all secret projects i can't share much about them for now 🤫

as for my favorite independent wip im working on (slowly but surely) id have to say my lil monsterfucker heart is especially excited for my tentacle steve sequel if that's you're thing! i love them and i really love the sequel im working on that shows the after with lots of monster romancing and filthy bits. i had so many comments from lovely readers who said that they dont normally read monster fic but they liked my tentacle steve so exploring that more in the sequel is SO fun i cant wait so here's a snippet

warnings for: consentacles, tentacle monster steve/human bucky, sequel to this 🐙

Bucky takes the opportunity to seek Steve, who is still in the bathroom. He knocks on the door and steps in to find Steve back in his true form, lounging back in the bathtub that’s full to the brim, with several of his tentacles hanging over the edge. It should be an odd sight, if Bucky is honest with himself. The tentacles are inky-black but have a blue shine to them. They move and coil lazily, clearly indicating how tired Steve is. Bucky wants nothing more than to be wrapped up in them, and perhaps that is the oddest of it all; how deeply he desires Steve, how carnal his wants are but also how his heart threatens to shatter at the thought of Steve leaving him alone again. “Long morning?” Bucky asks him quietly as he comes to sit on the edge of the claw-foot tub. Steve blinks up at him from under his long lashes, a tired look on his face. His wet hand reaches out to hold Bucky’s, his thumb swiping over his knuckles and leaving a trail of water. The thin tip of a tentacle wraps around Bucky’s wrist and it makes his heart settle at the contact. “It is hard to maintain a human form for long,” he murmurs, lips ticking up into a smile. Bucky’s heart flutters in his chest from the sight of him. Steve stares at him with heavy eyes. The faucet dripping is the only noise for a long moment, and Bucky is not sure what the heavy look means. He opens his mouth to voice his concerns, to tell Steve to rest, but Steve beats him to it. “I will not pretend that I am not putting you in danger, little one. One word from your lips and I will be gone.” The words catch Bucky off balance. His eyes widen, and stomach plummets. He slides off the ledge of the bathtub and eases his knees on the floor, gripping Steve’s hand in his. The thought of sending Steve away makes his chest ache fiercely. “Please, no. I waited so long for you, I don't want you to leave me so soon. Please stay with me for as long as you desire me,” Bucky begs, pulling Steve’s hand in to kiss his fingers. Steve watches him with those mysterious blue eyes; eyes that have seen decades of life that Bucky likely can’t imagine. Steve’s hand reaches forward to cup the side of his face, and Bucky leans into it, feeling like he is on the precipice of having his heart broken again. “That is the problem, little one. I desire you so much and so deeply, I fear I will never want to let you go,” Steve whispers, gaze not leaving his own. It's intense and heady, almost impossible to look away but Bucky turns his head to kiss Steve’s palm, lips feeling how warm he is. “Then don’t. Don’t let me go again.”

[deeranger]

Fic Writer Questions!

@oddsocksandstuff tagged me in this, thank you so much, sweetie!  ❤️

 1) How many works do you have on AO3? I’ve got 40 so far (of which 25 are SPN fics). There’s more to come! 

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 486,667, apparently. That tells me each of my fics has an average wordcount of 12,166.675… Seems about right. I was never any good at keeping things short.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Uhh… On AO3 I’ve written for Supernatural, Supernatural RPF, X-men (Cherik) and McFassy (James McAvoy/Michael Fassbender). But I’ve written a lot when I was younger that has never made it online, including NCIS, Pirates of the Caribbean, and lots of weird one-shorts starring everyone from Michael J. Fox to Kevin Sorbo from “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys”. 🤨  

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? “A Lesson to be Taught” – an SPN Wincest pwp fic where a dominant Dean fucks (and spanks) Sam and they discover that Dean apparently has a daddy!kink. Comes with a photo manipulation too! There be dick.    

“Taking Game” – a semi-dark medieval Cherik (Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr from X-men) AU. Basically, Charles is a poacher hunting on king Erik’s land to his great dismay. And so, he’s captured and gets the choice between losing his life or serving the king for a bit… Dubcon and smut ensues.   “Only Like This” – a little SPN Wincest dub-con fic about hopelessly pining Dean doping Sam just so he can touch and kiss his oblivious little brother. It’s okay. Sam won’t remember when he comes to.   “It’s Only Carnal” – A dark SPN Wincest noncon fic where soulless!Sam needs to blow off some steam. And when it comes to carnal activities his brother isn’t exactly a novice – so why not use Dean’s body to make them both feel good?   “Demonized” – a long and dark af SPN noncon fic written in collaboration with the awesome @palishere. Sam is captured by some nasty demons who use him to lure in his brother. At first it seems the demonic scumbags are just really perverted and have a weakness for sexual torture, but they turn out to have ulterior motives…  

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes, always. I think it can be a bit demotivating for a reader to leave a comment and get zero response – and so, they might not bother to comment on the next fic. At least, that’s how I feel personally. And besides, I really want to let readers know that I appreciate them taking the time and effort to actually tell me what they think.  

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oufff… Seriously? How can I possibly pick just one when 99.8 percent of my fics are not only dark af but have gut-wrenching ambiguous endings as well? I, err… I’m gonna have to think really hard about this one, hold on… *Insert buzzing cicada sound*… Uhh… Well, I guess it might be… “Play or Pay” – a dark female!reader-insert Wincest fic where demon!Dean has you and Sam trapped somewhere underground. Sam ends up being on the receiving end of the demon’s cruelty when he tries to save you. Using Dean’s body the demon ends up raping Sam while the reader tries to escape to get help... There’s a little twist in the end. Loads of dead dove here, including death (not Dean or Sam).     “The Orange Hour” – where undercover inmate!Dean has to rape CO!Sam in order to save both of their lives and get them out of the jail in one piece. It doesn’t go completely as planned. (Comes with an nsfw photo manipulation).  “Demonized” – loads of bottom!Sam torture, full of hurt and absolutely no comfort... It’s just… I dunno, I think I and @palishere had a collective meltdown in the noncon and angst department. Sorrynotsorry.      

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Nope, I’ve never in my life written a crossover. Usually, I’m too laser-focused on 1 obsession at a time. I can’t multitask, okay?   

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes, the fandom purity police has visited me on AO3. The usual self-proclaimed know-it-alls vomiting their bullshit all over the comment section about how “problematic” noncon is and how “sick” I must be. I thought about moderating comments for a while, actually – but I just deleted their follow-up comments until they left me alone. 😤

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes!! Gimme! Usually, I write noncon smut or just good ol’ pwps that feature some sort of dominance. That’s it. That’s my jam. In general, the only smut I don’t write is the cute, fluffy, feel-good, cuddly stuff… My smut’s usually pretty rough and/or some sort of dub/noncon.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Someone stole “It’s Only Carnal” and posted it as her own on some Portuguese fanfiction site. She even replied to comments, answered questions and talked about how much she loved writing it, etc… Luckily a sweet mutual on Tumblr let me know about it and I reported her for plagiarism. The stolen fic was taken down shortly after and the account deleted. Goddamn thief. 😡  

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Honestly, I can’t remember which fic(s). But people have contacted me on AO3 and asked for permission to translate my stuff into Chinese. I have - of course - happily allowed them to. It’s such an awesome compliment to get, I think!  

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, 2. “Demonized” and the fluffy Ficfacers prompt fic “The Masks We Wear” starring Sam and Dean taking their pranks a step too far. Basically, the brothers get angry with each other and they need to talk it out… No smut in this one, can you believe it?!! But that was kinda the prompt we received. The prompt was literally: “Sam and fluff”. Anyways, both fics are co-written with the lovely @palishere. You can find her AO3 here. 😊

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Wincest!!! Definitely. Gimme all the brotherfucking, please. No contest. And coming in on second place I guess there’s Samifer – never paired consensually, though. I just love Lucifer messing with Sam’s head and torturing him in all kinds of cruel ways.    

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh, that’s a mean question… I have a noncon WIP where Sam and Dean are in prison. I wrote a whole story outline, gathered my own little dictionary of prison slang, etc… But I never made it past page 10 or something. Sam was supposed to get jumped by a gang of inmates and then Dean was supposed to helplessly watch from the sideline, offering to trade places if they’d just leave his little brother alone… And after that it’s all about a mix of healing and vengeance… But the story has been lying on the shelf for more than a year and I doubt I’ll ever continue it. Oh, wait! I almost forgot – I have a long Cherik WIP sequel to “To Have and to Hold”! Just checked, its wordcount is 18,729! Holy crap…. What a waste, huh? But I honestly don’t think I’ll ever finish it, because I’m not into Cherik anymore. That ship has kinda sunk for me…. So, now I’m hyperfixating on Supernatural, yeah?     

16) What are your writing strengths? Description, I think. I just love details and setting the mood. I like to think I’m pretty good at writing in English too even though it isn’t my native language… I wish to be better and expand my vocabulary but I’m doing okay nonetheless.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Description, I think. Yes, you read correctly. I often describe things TOO much. Sometimes to the extent where the pacing gets so slowed down that I feel like the scene loses its ‘feel’. I don’t know if it’s just in my head, but that’s my major concern about my writing. That and my signature ambiguous endings, lol.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Love it. It can be difficult to pull off, but if you get it right it can be magical. Just don’t overdo it and make sure that the reader can follow. I don’t think I have any fics online where I do it, but I’m not a complete stranger to it either.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Ack, my poor brain trying to go back to when I was friggin’ 13… You know how many years ago that was?! 25!!! Okay!? *Huffs*…. Anyway, I THINK it might’ve been Keanu Reeves’ character in “Johnny Mnemonic”. Or maybe David James Elliott’s character as Harmon Rabb in the early seasons of “JAG”. I dunno. Either way this question makes me feel really old and I don’t appreciate it. Don’t @ me. 😅   

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? That’s probably a tie between “The Orange Hour” and “It’s Only Carnal”. They’ve both got nice pacing and that’s my biggest challenge, I think. Also, I love the whole Morse code thing in “The Orange Hour”. I don’t even know what happened or how I came up with it, but hey, I can surprise myself if I want to, I guess! And of course there’s the smutty noncon and all of the hurt… So, those two fics are my personal faves. 😏  

I’ll tag @jackandthesoulmates, @pinkoptics, @palishere, @wrenseroticlibrary, @decadent-prince, @negans-lucille-tblr, @juinae and @impala-dreamer and everyone else who feels like doing it! Feel free to ignore, of course. 

[divagonzo]

Funny Business (Pt. II) Ron & Harry (aka Sore Feet)

Ao3 // FF.net

Part I

A/N: as promised, here is Part II for those in Blackpool and Rio Linda. As before, this is rated T/15 for innuendo and risque banter only. This isn’t necessarily Ace Safe so if you have any questions, I’ll happily answer them, on anonymous or not. This chapter is entirely Mostly in thanks to @fightfortherightsofhouseelves who kicked my ass for short-changing this chhapter. And I probably will write a third chapter when I get a few minutes from finishing 2 WIPs and updated the Multi-chapters that have been on hiatus - and starting a new Multi-Chapter fic starting April for hopefully May publishing start. - DG

Note: This isn’t Ron/Harry. This is Ron & Harry - platonic BrOTP. #justsayin

“So whose bloody idea was this?” Ron scrambled across a section of rocks before getting to the top of the ridge and waited for Harry. He was a little more nimble and made it up easy.

Harry bent over to loosen a stitch in his side. “Our wives, ya git.” He sucked in deep breaths for the fast climb up the switchbacks to the top. The 18kg pack on his back weighted him down some, with all of the gear they needed for their hiking trip.

“Our wives, ya git.” Harry huffed and panted as he walked up the hillside with the 17kg pack on his back. “I told Ginny about not spending time with you and this was what they came up with.” Harry stood up and continued walking forward on the trail, looking for the particular stop point Hermione mentioned for them.

“All you had to do was ask. It’s not like I won’t make time for my best mate.” Ron huffed on the climb up the trail.  He followed Harry and his pace. They learned the first hour that Harry couldn’t quite keep up with Ron’s stride.

“I didn’t know that. We barely talk except about business when I see you at work. Then you also work with George and he takes so much of your time too that I might see you outside of work once a month. The few times we had arrangements to meet, George had something for you last minute, or he tagged along, or you had to cancel because George had an idea and you had to work instead.” Harry stepped up to the fallen tree in front of him and groaned. “Look, I get it. George needs you. And you are part owner of the shop. But it seems like he’s your best mate now and I’m Dudley to you - on Christmas card terms.” Harry shifted the pack on his back before climbing up and over the tree. “Why did I promise my wife I’d do this without magic? This is bloody ridiculous.” He looked and saw that there were half a dozen more down before they could get back on the trail. He stepped off and landed with a thud. “This is like being on assignment except we’re not getting paid for it.”

“Hell if I know. But somehow Hermione got me to agree, too. She said something about character building or some other sort of rubbish.” Ron sat on the tree and swung his legs over. “I have enough character without adding more to it.”

“And this is the first night of our trip. Why the bloody hell did we agree on a four-day hiking trip to find our wives and kids? Oh right, that was my sister’s idea - and my wife’s too.”

Harry stopped and gave Ron a face. “You were incredibly busy so we had to schedule something. You were either on duty or working for George, with the only time you had left was either asleep or with the kids. And I’m not asking you to choose between me and the kids, no matter how much I natter.”

Harry shifted his pack on his hips before continuing on the trail. Even with the weight on his back and the fatigue he felt from hiking for eight hours, admitting such feelings to his best mate was freeing. Why hadn’t he said anything months ago? Then again, he trusted his wife to hear what he was thinking, admitting his vulnerability and not take the piss out of him.

Then again, he had to give Hermione credit. Being out here, in the woods with Ron with no one owling him constantly or sending emergency Patronus about not emergencies. Out here it was just a ruck full of gear, meals, water, and accommodations: tents, camp seats, cots, and other reasonable amenities. Hermione did the magic on their hiking rucks but didn’t make adjustments for the weight. Anything they wanted, they had to carry it – heavy or otherwise.

“Why the bloody hell did I think I needed a cast iron skillet for making our dinner? This ruck weighs too many bloody kilos.”

“You said you needed it for breakfast, to do a proper fry-up with eggs, rashers, and bangers, along with scones and other proper breakfast fares. I warned you but you said you couldn’t cook without it.”

“Well I’m a sodding git, that’s for sure.”

“No, you’re not. And I’m the one who insisted on bringing a full pillow and heavy sleeping bag.”

“Well, that’s just being smart since it’s supposed to be down ‘round 10 tonight. It might not be like sleeping rough in Scotland under the stars but I don’t want to repeat that on this trip.”

“Don’t remind me. That was a mission I intentionally blocked out and refused to tell Ginny about. She’d have gone spare if she knew that you were injured and we were out in freezing conditions and the only way we could survive was changing my Auror issue jacket into a wonky tent and your manky boots into some reasonable semblance of a sleeping bag. I doubt they’d understand that to keep from freezing to death that night was sleeping in that grotty bag together.”

Ron roared laughing. “I bet the only ones who wouldn’t take the piss from that situation would be Aurors who have gone through it countless times. And lemme say, mate, that you are not Hermione in the least.”

“And you’re not Ginny. You snore like a sodding steam train.”

“Let’s hope that we don’t chase a Death Eater wanna-be across a frozen lake and it wasn’t as frozen as we thought. Pulling your arse from the freezing waters was hard as hell. You had no dry clothes so stripping you down to your pants and then bundling you in the makeshift tent with a big fire did help until I could magically dry your clothes. I didn’t want to see your pasty arse, nor do I want to see it ever again.”

“Look who is talking, Mr. Specky Scrawny git. I’ve seen your arse too often for my own good, usually while it’s giving my Sister the business. It’s bad enough I hear her calling you her bitch.”

“I dunno where that started,” Harry stomped through a swollen creek, getting his trainers wet. “But she says that and then likes it when I tell her off for saying that. It’s gotten to be a game now.”

“I’m glad I don’t have to see that anymore, at least unless we’re at Mum’s for an entire day and you find an unoccupied bedroom.”

“Hypocrite. You have no qualms finding a quiet spot to –“

“Well, yes, that’s true. She’s gagging for me so much that – “

“I don’t need to hear any more. I’ve seen enough to need an Obliviator!”

“When have you seen anything, git?”

“Got a month? You and Hermione lived with us at Grimmauld Place for a few years ‘til you got married.”

“So I ask again: When did you ever see us like that?”

Harry stopped and turned around, looking slightly mortified. “Let’s see. There was the dining room table one night when Ginny came home from a late practice. And the time you broke the bed. And then there was the time in the front parlor, on the floor, and another time on the couch. I won’t even mention the downstairs loo or the upstairs loo when you forgot to close the door.”

“Well fuck.”

“Yeah, exactly what I said when I saw the two of you all,” Harry motioned with his hands in a general example of carnal relations with their spouse, “and many times more.”

“It’s a good thing you’re not a pervert. I’d think you were a voyeur or something.”

Harry picked up a clod of dirt and threw it at his best mate, striking him in the shin.

“What was that for, you git?”

“I’m not a voyeur. The two of you didn’t have the decency of doing it behind closed doors.”

“Says the hypocrite who had no qualms shagging his wife in public places.” Ron passed Harry on the trail and he had to race to catch up to his long-legged best friend.

“I can’t help it that she finds me fanciable and can’t wait to get her rocks off.”

They continued another hour before Ron pulled to a halt to stop and refill his water bottles.

“Didn’t Hermione say she’d leave a Harpy’s towel on a tree when there was a campsite nearby?”

“Yeah, she did,” Ron answered between chugs of water. “She said us obvious walnuts wouldn’t miss it.”

Harry pointed to the Harpies towel draped over a limb on a tree a few meters in front of him with a glowing arrow pointing to the right. The followed it for a few minutes and found a clearing next to a stream. “It looks like this is the spot they intended for us to camp at for the night.”

Harry walked to the other side of the clearing where there were some logs laid out, possibly for sitting or to contain a fire.  “Well, the stream is over there so we can get water for tea and there’s room to make camp on this side.”

“It’s a good thing it’s not hot,” Ron grumped. “I’d be miserable if it was hot.” Ron dropped his ruck to get his water bottle out and was chugging more down. Harry followed suit with his own bottle. “But knowing our wives, they’re going to kick us out like this often to get a break. Shit, I need a new shirt. I feel like I took a shower wearing my clothes.”

“Well you do look like a ponce dressed like that.” Harry smirked at Ron’s attire. He had on some hiking shorts made of some material Hermione called poly-something and a Canon’s t-shirt made of something that wasn’t cotton and a fluffy jacket she called Down. Down with what, he didn’t know.  The trainers he had on were quite nice, even if he groused earlier about them looking like oversized bloody beater bats. She even refused to do an extension charm on his pack so he could carry more things easier. “You should learn to do with only the basics, Ron.”

“Sod that,” he replies before being hit in the face with a set of socks.

“So how long do we have to get where our families are?”

“Hermione said it’s another 60 kilometers to their campsite from this one. She didn’t tell me where exactly but said if we followed the trail we’d run across them. So the way we’re going that should be not tomorrow night but the next one. ”

“So we are camping out in this rubbish for the night, by ourselves? And no Hermione or anyone else?” Ron looked a touch concerned. “I don’t have terribly fond memories of camping.”

“It sure looks like it and I don’t either. But maybe we can change that with this trip and future ones.”

“If I wake up with a bloody badger in the tent I’m blaming you for it.”

“You won’t. I can’t guarantee tomorrow or at the next 2 campsites.” Harry ducked the gob of mud Ron threw before grabbing the kettle and scurrying off for the stream. They’d flipped a galleon to see who would set up camp and who would get the water they would need for the night and the next morning. He trod back on the stream to collect water and have a few minutes to think.

He still felt like getting a few things off his chest with Ron but figured it could wait until later tonight or even tomorrow. He filled the litre bottles along with the kettle and walked back to camp. When he returned Ron had the spacious tent set up along with a fire started. “At least they picked a decent spot for us.” Ron was digging in his ruck and yanked out a cauldron that looked big enough for Mrs. Weasley to feed the entire family. Ron pulled his wand and pointed it at the cast iron cauldron, silently casting Tertego to clean it.

Harry gasped. “You’re using magic to set it all up?”

“Why not? I’m hungry. There’s food in my pack that needs to be eaten. I’m quite sure you’re peckish too.” Ron reached down deep inside his ruck and pulled out an enormous earthen pot. “Dinner tonight is Irish Stew and I have a loaf of bread for it, too.”

Harry sighed. “Why not?” He pulled his wand and set up his tent which connected to Ron’s. They hadn’t seen a soul all day on the trail so Harry didn’t anticipate seeing anyone tonight sharing their camping site. The seclusion was nice especially outside and away from the hustle and bustle of their frantic lives. It was what he quietly needed – time away from everything to relax with his best mate and talk – or not talk.

“Hey Ron?”

Ron poked his head up from his pack, holding a huge platter of food that Hermione packed for him. Harry knew he had one too in his ruck.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you said you’d do this with me.”

“Well, don’t tell Hermione but I needed the break from working too much too. Fortunately I got things settled at the Ministry and George would have coverage for the few days we’re gone.”

“Ron?” Harry felt his insides curdling like bad milk.

“Yeah?”

“We should do this more often.” Harry wanted to slap himself silly for not admitting what he really wanted to say.

“We will.” Ron took the kettle back from Harry and hung it over the fire to heat the water for their tea. He took the kettle off and put their meals packed in foil to reheat.

Harry opened his ruck and shoved his arm down deep to find the camp chair he’d packed. There was a second one in there too, for Ron, since he carried their cooking pots. He found both and yanked them out. With a little bit of help via magic, he had the chairs sitting close to the fire with a cold butterbeer. He’d brought them with.

Ron poked at the fire with a stick, getting the foil packets flipped. “What?” he asked when Harry was giving him a particular look. “So I’m trying to keep to the spirit of this trip,” he said.

Harry sat back laughing. “I’m glad you’re trying, at least.”

“I thought you’d have brought some of those sodding foam pads for us to sit on.”

“Nah. I figured I could hump the chairs for us to use.”

“I’m glad you did. I didn’t think I could stand sitting my arse on the ground for a couple of nights. We did enough of that way back when and I didn’t want to do it again.”

“You’re getting soft in your old age.” Harry’s grin gave away his cheek.

“Nope, just my arse. The kids keep me young and so do my manticores.”

“It’s cute how you refer to the Aurors in your charge.”

“What, manticores? Nah. That’s Rose and Hugo. The Aurors are a breeze compared to them. Merlin, who’d have thought they’d have Hermione’s thirst for knowledge, my appetite, her insomnia, and my propensity to be loud. It’s a wonder we can get them to sleep six hours a night. Merlin knows that it doesn’t happen as much as we’d like. I blame it on Hermione’s insomnia while she was pregnant and on bedrest.”

“Then it’s a good thing that Hermione can work from home. I know you wouldn’t want your Mum to keep the kids the few extra days.”

“Hermione does, sometimes, during the summer when the kids are home. But then she’s in the office at 5am and then off at 2 unless something comes up. I pack them off to primary and she picks them up afterwards. It’s the best of both worlds.” Ron pulled the kettle off of the fire and made them tea.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said, about George. He’s my brother and I love him.  And there are days I want to throw a cauldron at him. But I choose you any day and twice on Holidays. However, George still needs me. You don’t, not like he does. You don’t need me to get through your rough rays or take over when you’re curled up in a ball and can’t move much less function.”

“I do need you. You’re my best friend.”

“I know.” Ron handed over a huge bowl of stew to Harry before moving his chair over next to him. “It’s been barmy the last month and I heard it from Hermione. But I’ll also tell George he needs to share me more.” Ron grinned over his bowl of stew. “I hadn’t realized that it had gotten so bad that I hadn’t seen you otherwise in months. Anyway, I trust Ginny to be there for you. When she can’t handle it, I’m there. We might be busier than rent boys trying to make the rent the next day but I’m not going anywhere. Only way I’m abandoning you is if I board the train before you do – and then I’m not getting on it ‘til you get there.

Harry’s ears and face burned bright. Ron rarely spoke so forcefully about their friendship.

“If you want your stew warmed I’ll trade it out for fresh in the pot.”

Harry shook himself from his thoughts. “What?”

“Food. Hot. Eat.” Ron smirked.

“Oh yeah, right.” Harry handed over his bowl and Ron traded it out for hot stew. Harry tucked in to clear the loadstone from his throat and to fight back the tears threatening to make him look a ponce.

“So since you’re an original investor in the Wheezes – “

“I told George that it was a gift, not an investment.”

“And I told you that you were full of shite. I already have Fred’s shares but you are still a silent partner. It’s in the contract. So I can discuss with you our ideas for the coming year.”

“Ron, it’s still business.”

“So? It’s funny business. It’s full of laughs and gags and pranks. And listen, I have this idea for a line of kid’s pranks, funny and intended to teach safe prank ideas instead of mean ones.” Ron launched into his ideas for new products, ones that George was testing currently. “And I will mention the new sign: Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes - Funny Business, Inc.”

Harry laughed. He laughed so hard that his sides were hurting.

“And that profit amount goes to the Fred Weasley Hogwarts Trust.”

Harry choked on his laugh. “You’re finally doing it? For real?”   

“Yeah, I finally am. George is in agreement, and so is Hermione. Bill will administer it so it won’t deplete financially and Dad and Fleur will oversee it, so no one is in complete control. It’s a win/win for everyone.”

“You know how many kids will be able to – “

“I do. I promised myself that if I ever got rich – as in having enough money with more left over that I can’t decide on how to spend it, that I’d set this up. So I am. Percy got the house but I got the vault. He wanted her House and she doted on him as her favorite – but the vault was how Mum made sure I was sorted. She knew the rest would be fine. Between George and Bill, I’m probably as wealthy as you are.”

Harry sat there boggled. He didn’t know, at all.

“Blimey!” “Yeah, pretty mad, isn’t it?”

“Completely mental, isn’t it?” He got lost in his own thoughts until Harry pointed out the cauldron turning a faint shade of orange. Ron pulled it off the direct fire and let it hover higher over it before setting it down on the flat stones surrounding the fire.

They both had been too busy to talk bollocks in entirely too long.

“So let me tell you about the time I turned my hair green from a potion exploding in the stockroom one time.” He lit into the story, leaving nothing out, and Harry was falling out of his chair laughing until his sides hurt again.

The laughs between best friends went on for hours, even as tired as they were.  Only when the fire burned down to ash and the stars provided the only light did they turn into their respective bunks in the combined tent, each sleeping soundly for the first night in months.

The next morning, all was well between the best friends.